Episode 1000754886860

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Run!

1:06 Go!

1:08 Voiceover Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:12 Adam Hey, Loveline, everybody. I'm Adam Corolla.

1:16 Adam That's Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew? Dr. Drew in Florida tonight.

1:21 Yes.

1:21 Voiceover Literally, literally Coast to Coast tonight. That's right. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. How's the weather over there, Drew?

1:34 Adam 85 and clear. Yeah.

1:36 Adam And what are you doing over there in Florida?

1:38 Adam I'm speaking to a medical center. I give a class of TV numbers and then I'm giving a grand round tomorrow.

1:46 Adam What's the grand round? That sounds like a drink round.

1:50 Adam Yeah, grand round is sort of an an apodemic term. Some speaker from the outside comes and talks to you. That's nice of it.

1:57 Drew It talks to the medical staff.

1:58 Adam I thought it was grand marnier and coffee grounds.

2:02 Drew Yeah, a little different.

2:06 Adam Did you watch that World Series today?

2:07 Adam Oh, my God.

2:09 Oh, my God.

2:10 Drew What was that?

2:12 Adam I don't know what that was.

2:14 Adam Oh, my God.

2:15 Drew They were already wrapping up.

2:17 Adam Did you know that in the night dinner?

2:19 Adam Yeah, they were putting away the equipment and heading back to the locker.

2:22 Drew Well, even the announcers were talking about how they only had six runs of the entire series.

2:27 Adam It was an all-time low for both seasons for both series.

2:31 Drew And our producer today and our technical advisors, they were wrapping up again.

2:35 Adam Thanks to the Pepsi Bottle Incorporation for the continued support.

2:38 Oh, home run.

2:40 Adam Oh, my God.

2:42 Adam For anyone who doesn't know, the Yankees again with two outs in the ninth inning there, last at bats.

2:49 Adam I feel so bad for Kim.

2:51 Adam With two outs.

2:52 Drew Team Pitcher.

2:54 Adam Team Pitcher. That poor guy.

2:59 Adam And Kim is the, what is he, the Korean relief pitcher?

3:03 Adam Yeah. Great, good sidearm conference. Yeah.

3:09 Adam And let me tell you something about sports, too. I mean, this guy's going to be in counseling for years.

3:15 Drew I mean, it's funny that I should mention falling on a sword last time.

3:19 Adam Right.

3:20 Drew Because I imagine him doing something like that.

3:22 Adam Well, here's the deal. Either the Diamondbacks win both of them in Arizona, or this guy kills himself at 26. I mean, that kind of stuff just, you know, when Bill Russell let that ball trickle between his, let the ball trickle between his legs when he was on Boston in like 86 or 87. He was getting death rats and the poor guy ruined the guy's life. It's one play ruined his life.

3:50 Caller That's Boston, though.

3:51 Adam That's true. It's Arizona.

3:53 Adam I think I can go either over there.

3:54 Adam They'll bounce back.

3:55 Caller But Jesus Christ.

3:57 Adam Hey, that's crazy.

3:59 Adam And I'll say I've been pulling for the Diamondbacks the whole time. And if there's any Diamondback fans listening, they should really just pool their money and get to me and get me to start pulling for the Yankees.

4:11 Caller Oh, that's true.

4:12 Adam Because I am such the kiss of death, especially when it comes to World Series. I was pulling for the Mets last year. Everyone I pull for, everyone I pull for loses.

4:26 Adam They might curse them.

4:27 Adam Yeah. So, if I keep pulling for the Dino Vets, it's over. They might not even make it back tonight if I really pull hard for them.

4:41 Adam I have an idea, Rock, you went over here years ago, remember this?

4:44 Adam Yeah.

4:44 Adam The other loves plungers here. Sure.

4:47 Caller You're in the whole country.

4:48 Drew And they change and move as with all radio stations. And now, they join 12 other radio stations in one building.

4:55 Adam Okay.

4:55 Adam With a religious format?

4:57 Drew Different.

4:57 Adam We'll have that here too.

4:58 Drew They have to have that station thing.

5:00 Adam Drew, I got the screen here. Do you have a screen in front of you?

5:04 Adam I do. Ready to go? Yeah.

5:06 All right.

5:07 Adam Dr. Josh is 20.

5:08 Adam Josh?

5:09 Hey, how are you doing? Good. By the way, Adam, it's Bill Buckner.

5:15 Adam When I knew Bill Russell. Bill Russell?

5:17 I knew that.

5:18 Adam Didn't I say that was wrong after I got it?

5:21 I'm such an idiot.

5:21 Adam I thought, what did you think?

5:23 Drew Bill Buckner before the Roger.

5:25 Adam Yeah. Bill Buckner. Sorry.

5:26 That's right.

5:28 Drew Okay.

5:29 I've had the same dream every time I've fallen asleep, basically for my entire life, starting to affect my love life.

5:39 Drew What is it?

5:42 A girl's face, that's really close. We kiss, she backs up, she says something, I've never been able to make it out, and I laugh. She backs up even more so that I'd be able to see her entire body. She says something, I say something, again, I can't make it out. We both laugh. The only things I've been able to make out of her are her swim, athletic build, her shoulder length, brown hair, and her green eyes.

6:04 Adam Tell me a great thing. What's the problem?

6:06 Well, it's fine. There's no huge problem, except that I can't respond in any way to anybody with like blonde hair or red hair. I can't even masturbate to anybody without brown hair.

6:21 Adam Adam has a thing about when we turn our breasts.

6:24 Drew It's the same exact thing.

6:26 Adam Yeah, I can't masturbate to anyone else. Hey, Josh, do you have a girlfriend?

6:33 Not right now, but I've noticed that basically most, yeah, except for one or two, have fit the mold.

6:43 Adam Most of your girlfriends?

6:44 Drew I'm sure it means something, but detraction does often come from somewhere.

6:47 Adam I don't know if we're able to find something attractive.

6:53 Drew Is there something that we should know about your past or anything? Did you lose somebody in your lifetime that looked like this?

6:59 No, except for one thing.

7:01 Drew I've never had a babysitter that looked like that, or anybody that looked like that.

7:07 That's your thing.

7:08 Adam Drew, you like the bonds, right? Yeah. You got a type, right?

7:12 Caller You got a definite type. Yeah.

7:16 Adam Thank you. You're passionate, passionate man. Don't you like your name? You know about me, Drew? These reoccurring dreams.

7:24 Caller Yeah.

7:25 Adam I don't seem to have those anymore, really. Do you?

7:28 Drew I actually never had those.

7:30 Adam I didn't have them much, but if I did, they happened more when I was 20 than they do now. Is this something that happens earlier in life or does it matter?

7:39 Drew It doesn't matter.

7:41 Adam I've never seen it, but it's a feeling that's reproduced through a visual excursion.

7:46 Yeah.

7:46 Adam Hey, didn't Bill Buckner play for the Dodgers too at some point?

7:50 Adam No, that's an hour.

7:51 Adam No, Buckner never played for Dodgers.

7:56 Yanni.

7:57 Adam Yanni?

7:57 Yanni.

7:58 Adam All right, Yanni, what's up? You're 18.

8:00 Caller Yeah, I live in Atlanta and I have friends that are 19, 20, 20 years old. We go to strip clubs and stuff, and the thing is I have a problem with my painting. Is that when I'm not aroused, maybe smaller than you're peaking.

8:21 Adam Yeah.

8:22 Caller When I am, I may be nine, 10, 11.

8:26 Adam Well, that's 13 away.

8:28 Drew 15?

8:30 Adam How many inches?

8:32 Caller No, nine, 10, 11 inches.

8:34 That's a damn lie and you know it.

8:36 Adam First off, nobody measures their penis in this sort of three inch range. My penis is five to nine inches.

8:45 Adam Wait, you know, it's like a chipper dating way, weighing, she's between 110 and 175. Yeah, right. Which is it?

8:54 Adam Is it eight inches? Is it nine inches? Eight inches.

8:57 Adam Eight.

8:58 Adam Eight inches.

8:59 Caller Yeah. Okay.

9:00 Drew I've measured.

9:01 Caller You've measured?

9:02 Caller Yeah. Okay.

9:04 Drew Good.

9:04 Caller That's fine.

9:05 Drew What's the problem? The best of all worlds, really.

9:09 Caller Is it normal?

9:11 Adam Yeah, it's normal.

9:12 Caller Okay. And I play sports too, like basketball and football and tennis and stuff. Right. And I have a problem with the smell of my balls. Sometimes in my chest.

9:25 Adam Yeah. They always smell.

9:27 Caller And I have going to the thing, I have a friend, he's like, what shape? I've done that. And kind of like my dad, but seeing all the way when I was doing it.

9:36 Adam Right.

9:37 Caller Him and my mom were kind of cracking jokes, he was cracking jokes with his friends who he worked with, and they were like, you know. Oh, all right.

9:49 Adam Look, here's the deal. Dump powder down your shorts before you leave the house. Ball powder.

9:56 Caller Powder your balls.

9:58 Adam And look, balls smell all the time. Forget about playing tennis. My balls smell when I climb out of that jacuzzi.

10:04 Drew And there's something diabolical and endearing about a father that will shoot his son in the car about his testicular hygiene.

10:12 Caller Yeah.

10:13 Adam You keep the hair out of there and you dump the powder, and that's about all you can do. But everyone's balls smell weird.

10:20 Drew Yeah. They need to be vectorated and brought on there. You got to get it cotton underwear, wash frequently.

10:25 Adam And Drew, what is it with the balls?

10:28 Sorry. Wait a minute.

10:30 Adam Not the balls, the penis, where some guys have that thing where the penis grows 300 percent.

10:37 Adam Yeah.

10:37 Adam And some guys have that penis where it grows 40 percent.

10:40 Adam Or, yeah.

10:41 Right.

10:41 Adam You know what I'm saying? Absolutely. Now, the average penis, what would you guess the average penis? Let's just work on length now.

10:49 Drew Well, we got to have a control that's adequately controlled.

10:53 Adam Well, I think I can do it. It's got to be the top of my head.

10:57 Drew No, what I'm saying is the control penis has got to be 78 degrees.

11:01 Adam Yeah. I know, genius.

11:03 Drew But without any stimuli.

11:07 Adam Shut up and listen.

11:08 Drew We're not coming out of the oceans on that.

11:09 Adam Shut up. The average penis, we all know what we're like day in and day out, right?

11:17 Drew No, because I believe I bring that up. Listen to me. The guys that have the 400 percent growth have lots of variability depending on the environment they're in.

11:27 Adam They may be in one environment, they're just dull.

11:31 Drew Of course.

11:32 Adam Of course. You're raping an otter on a block of ice. There's going to be a difference in whether you're on the way up and on a beach in Jamaica.

11:43 Adam I'm the same guy.

11:44 Adam Oh my God. Just shut up and listen, would you?

11:47 Adam Jesus Christ.

11:49 Adam What happened to you, Drew?

11:54 Drew I'm trying to set the stature that the same guy that has the variability, the one you're trying to figure out what is that.

12:01 Adam I'm not.

12:02 Adam Thank God, you're Dr. Drew. I don't see a doctor according to your name, Mr. Big Mouth.

12:10 Adam Shut up. Okay. The average guy, his penis probably... Or on your computer... .computer. He's not here. Penis probably meant to... I was. That was my problem. The average penis then probably grows about 95%. But what percentage of guys really grow like 300%? I don't know too many of those guys. You know what I'm saying?

12:38 Drew Yeah, probably less.

12:40 Adam Yeah, probably less than 25%.

12:42 Adam And then what percentage of guys hang real low and then don't grow much? When they get the same amount?

12:48 Adam Yeah, by the same other end of the curve. Yeah. I think so. All right.

12:53 Adam Where are we going?

12:54 Adam You're in that... the former... the latter category.

12:56 Adam I got a nice what they call gym deck.

12:59 Adam But it doesn't perform to...

13:02 Caller It looks good at the gym. People use...

13:05 Adam it's their imagination, you know?

13:08 Adam What if that...

13:08 Adam what if that had blood in it, they think to themselves, it'd be quite impressive.

13:12 Adam Well, the guys are very impressed.

13:14 Adam Yeah. Oh, the lads love my flashy dance.

13:17 Adam It's small.

13:18 Caller Thank you. All right.

13:19 Adam Drew, you going to pick all of them?

13:20 Caller Who want me to?

13:22 Adam Stephanie?

13:23 Adam You're 20?

13:25 Caller Yes, I am.

13:25 Adam What's going on?

13:27 Caller Well, I just need to know... it's like a moral decision, I guess. I need to know if I should tell my ex-boyfriend if I had a miscarriage.

13:36 Drew Your ex-boyfriend?

13:37 Caller Yes, my ex-boyfriend.

13:39 Adam Who is he to you now?

13:40 Drew How is he involved in your life?

13:42 Caller Well, we were friends for like eight years before we started dating. And we were dating for about a year. And he just decided he wanted to go screw other people. And so he basically, he ditched me and he left me with all the bills and all that kind of stuff.

14:02 Adam Why, you still haven't answered my question.

14:04 Drew Who is he to you now? In your life?

14:08 Caller Is he a guy you hate?

14:09 Drew Is he a little thousand miles away? Who is he?

14:11 Caller No, he still lives here, you know. I still love him. I...

14:15 Adam But I'm not...

14:16 Drew And this is you trying to... This is you trying to get him back.

14:19 Adam Trying to reconnect.

14:20 Adam Trying to reconnect, yeah.

14:22 Drew Yeah.

14:22 Adam That's not him?

14:24 Caller No.

14:24 Caller No, I don't really want him back.

14:26 Adam I just...

14:26 Caller I don't know if I should tell him or not.

14:28 Caller Why?

14:29 Caller Because he told my friend, he has a mutual friend, and he told her that he thought I was pregnant.

14:37 Adam Right.

14:38 Drew He was so concerned, he didn't call you.

14:41 Caller Well, I know he's an asshole, but should I...

14:43 Drew Definitely. He's an asshole.

14:45 Adam Why do you want to be involved with an asshole at all?

14:47 Caller Well, I don't want to be.

14:48 Adam What is there to accomplish?

14:50 Adam What is the point? What are you going to accomplish with that?

14:53 Adam Well, you're angry at him.

14:55 Caller Yeah. I'm very angry that he did all this.

14:57 Adam Yes. It doesn't feel satisfied just to let it lie. You want to follow back and get into it with him.

15:03 Adam Then you're dancing with him again and now you've got an asshole back in your life.

15:07 Caller Yeah.

15:08 Adam Listen.

15:08 Caller Just tell me, forget it.

15:09 Adam Forget it.

15:10 Adam You had an a-hole, leave your life.

15:13 Caller That's a good thing.

15:14 Drew Count your blessings.

15:16 Adam Yeah.

15:18 Adam And for the grace of God, you're not having a child.

15:21 Caller That's right.

15:22 Adam God reached down and gave you a miscarriage.

15:24 Caller Thank you, Drew.

15:26 Adam So, Stephanie, here's the question. Do you really need to invite that chaos? You need to go, you've gone 12 rounds with the a-hole undisputed champ of the world. You got to go a 13th round with this guy or have you taken enough beating?

15:44 Caller Well, I guess I was putting in for a closure in this because it's...

15:47 Adam You got closure. You got plenty of closure. You got no kid and you're not talking to him.

15:51 Adam You got bills. That's super closure. He's not going to give you closure, Stephanie.

15:56 Caller He's not going to gratify.

15:57 Adam Let me tell you guys something about the word closure. I don't know who invented this.

16:04 Adam It doesn't work.

16:05 Adam It only works with... Dirty groups. No, it's just that it works with doors that have those mnemonic closers on them. It doesn't work emotionally. Her calling him up, telling him that guess what? She had a miscarriage and it was his child. He's shrugged in front, says bye and hangs up the phone. It's not going to give her a feeling of closure. She's going to be more angry. Have you ever done that? Have you guys ever done that where you called somebody, you were just so irate? Okay, let me tell you something. And Drew, be honest, don't make you ever done this. This happened to me more than once, once specifically. Got screwed over by this chick. Just one or another few days was really into her back and forth and everything. Just dumped me cold for no reason. I was lying in bed and I played it cool. I said to her, all right, yeah, no problem. I wasn't that into you either. Hung up the phone and I was lying in bed. Lined there for about three hours and I just got so angry.

17:07 Caller I was like, what is this, bitch?

17:08 Adam How can you screw me over this way?

17:10 Adam What the hell is going on?

17:11 Adam I'm going to get some closure. And I pick up the phone and I just laid into her. Like, what the hell are you doing, bitch? I mean, we had these dates, everything was going great. You gave me no indication and I was busting my ass. You never said anything, blah, blah, blah.

17:27 Adam Mom, I'm so mad at you. I work- I'm so mad at you, mom.

17:32 Adam I worked at it too. And when I was finished, she was like, I hear what you're saying.

17:38 Caller Are you done?

17:39 Caller I'm like, yeah.

17:41 Adam Okay.

17:42 Caller Well, let's never talk again.

17:45 Adam You know. Did I say most of her words?

17:46 Adam I'm not never talking again, but it was just like, are you finished?

17:50 Caller Yeah.

17:51 Caller Okay.

17:52 Adam I hear.

17:52 Adam I've heard what you had to say. Thank you.

17:54 Caller And that was way too mature for you.

17:58 Adam Well, not mature. He's like an ice queen.

18:01 Adam That's an appropriate thing.

18:04 Adam It's a nice, calm way to say, look, F off.

18:07 Caller No, that ain't no problem.

18:09 Caller It was respectful.

18:11 Adam She could have not listened to you and hung up.

18:13 Adam She could have not listened and hung up.

18:15 Drew She listened, acknowledged it, and then hung up.

18:18 Adam Acknowledged it. Like, are you done blowhard?

18:21 Drew But that's as much closure as you're getting, boy.

18:23 Adam Here's the deal. When I hung up the phone, I was more angry. Sure. Except for I'm humiliated now, too. Now, I was angry and had made an ass of myself. Yeah. And felt twice as bad.

18:37 Caller Thank you.

18:38 Adam John?

18:39 Adam Hello? You're 21. That last caller needed to be my fiancé, all right? Because basically, when I first met my fiancé, she was 17 and she had a 27-year-old boyfriend, or so I was told. And I knew her for a few months and we became friends. And then it turned out that the guy was 35 and was lying to her just to get with her and stuff and really hurt her. He was lying that he was 27 and was 35? She made some comment like she d only go out with guys like 10 years older than her.

19:12 Adam So he was like, oh, well, I m 27 and stuff.

19:15 Adam And she was really into him. And then a few months after they break up, we kind of get together and we ve been going out for almost a year now and we re talking about getting married in a few years after I finish school and stuff. And then just the other day she called me and she was like, hey, my ex-boyfriend came by and he wants to make up and he wants to be friends.

19:37 Adam And I said, John, John, the fact that your girlfriend was with this guy speaks volumes about the condition of your girlfriend.

19:47 Drew How long have you been with her?

19:48 Caller Oh, I ve been with her?

19:49 Adam Yeah.

19:50 Adam Yeah, I ll see her now. And there s not been a ton of chaos in this relationship?

19:54 Adam Yes, there has.

19:55 Adam Oh, I see. And she s going to, she s going to gear up to just put a big barn under cowboy. How old is she? It s really coming down. She s 18 now. Yeah. Where s her man?

20:04 Adam Where s her daddy? Well, her dad is like in a mental institute in New York.

20:10 Adam Yeah. Did he sexually abuse her before she was put into that institution?

20:13 Adam Actually, a really good friend of her brother sexually abused her growing up.

20:18 Drew Oh, good.

20:19 Adam Well, at least it wasn't dad.

20:20 Adam Yeah. Dad was given a round to it.

20:22 Adam But he s had a stepfather her whole life and he s been good and he s just like her dad.

20:27 Drew Well, then he can get her to a therapist quick because she got issues.

20:32 Adam I was trying to, but I guess they put this whole stigma going to see if she doesn't want it.

20:38 Caller She feels she can't do it or.

20:39 Adam All right. Hey, John. I got an idea for example.

20:41 Drew There's a book called The Road Less Problem.

20:44 Adam Read that book. It's one thing that sometimes does is break through people with personality disorders and get them to understand that there's one variable in their life and it's them. And if they want to make change, it's about changing yourself. Okay.

20:57 Caller Hey, John.

20:59 Adam Don't marry her anytime soon.

21:01 Adam Yeah.

21:02 Adam This is the... You think you've seen chaos?

21:04 Adam You haven't seen chaos yet with this shit. I know you have. She's bringing it on now. Right now.

21:10 Adam I know. She's turning up the heat. You're 21. Your head's up your ass. You don't know what's going on. You're all spun out. You got a lot of semen and adrenaline pumping through your veins. But I can tell you, this is going to be trouble. All right? Her bringing up the 37 year old dude who's come back is a real bad sign.

21:35 Caller Bad sign.

21:36 Adam And you're just going to buy into her dance, John. Don't get her pregnant. You understand? I understand.

21:44 Caller All right.

21:44 Adam Let's just let this go and let it work itself out or...

21:50 Adam We'll give her a chance to not...

21:52 Adam Bringing up the 37 year old dude who's come back is a real bad sign.

21:57 Adam Bad sign.

21:58 Adam And you're just going to buy into her dance, John. Don't get her pregnant. You understand? I understand.

22:06 Adam All right.

22:06 Adam Let's just let this go and let it work itself out or...

22:12 Drew We'll give her a chance to not go in the direction of total destruction that she's heading.

22:17 Adam But if she keeps going down that path, prepare to ban the ship.

22:21 Adam Okay. All right. And just wait for the cliff. And you don't want to jump out because the car is going 60 miles an hour, and you're going to get a lot of road rash on you if you hit that desert dirt, going 60 miles an hour in your short sleeve hay shirt. But you know what? You stay in the car.

22:38 Adam And where are you going?

22:39 Adam That's right. You're going into the canyon, baby. And you ain't never coming out of that. And that's what it's like for a lot of our young callers who are in these relationships that are chaotic. They don't want the experience of jumping out of the car and getting dinged up. Because there's going to be a little, you know, it's going to hurt. You're going to have some stinging, some wounds, and you're going to be laid up for a little while. But what's your alternative? Stay in the car? It's going over the cliff.

23:06 Adam Like, don't let them leave you.

23:08 Adam Listen, one day you're going to appreciate this genius, Drew. One day. One day. We'll take ourselves a little break, and we'll be back after this. Hey, hey, Love Line, everybody, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew in Florida.

23:43 Drew Now do you think Mark was talking about his flaccid or erect or, you know, now we've had that whole discussion so far this evening. Are you there?

23:50 Adam Yeah. I think when guys say they got a big Johnson, I would say it's erect.

23:56 I'm a big boy.

23:57 Adam That's right.

23:59 Drew Working position.

24:00 Adam That's right.

24:01 Drew Yeah.

24:01 Adam Leah?

24:04 Drew Leah?

24:06 Adam Hello?

24:07 Hello?

24:07 Adam Hey.

24:08 Caller Hey.

24:09 You guys, you make the world a better place.

24:13 Adam Thanks.

24:14 Caller Thank you.

24:15 You really do. You're the Beatles and Freud rolled into one.

24:20 Drew Wow.

24:20 Caller Yeah.

24:21 You guys are great. Just so supportive and so informative and entertaining.

24:29 Drew Yeah.

24:31 Adam What percentage of our audience knows who Freud is and what percentage knows who the Beatles are?

24:35 Caller Oh.

24:37 Adam Ouch. Do you think we just say it's 90 percent? Do you think there's people listening who don't know who the Beatles are, Drew?

24:43 Caller Poor Beatles.

24:44 Adam Yeah. I know. All right. Go ahead there, Leah. Thank you.

24:48 Well, thank you both so much, really. You really make the world a better place. You both should be very proud of yourself.

24:54 Adam No. Thank you. Now, what's your damn question?

24:59 Well, it's for Drew. I just wanted him to quickly run through exactly how the pill works and then the morning after pill.

25:10 Drew They basically work the same, frankly.

25:12 That's what I heard you say.

25:13 Drew Yeah. They work the same. A birth control pill is designed to trick your body into feeling that it's pregnant, basically, so you don't release an egg.

25:23 So what happens to the eggs that aren't ovulated? Did they just stay in the ovary? Mm-hmm.

25:30 Drew They don't develop. Eggs are going to have to go through a developmental cycle before they were released from the follicle.

25:37 Adam So they just sit there?

25:38 Drew They just sit there.

25:39 Adam Do they go bad, like eggs that are in my fridge?

25:43 Drew No, they don't go bad.

25:44 Adam So it's just still omelet material after years?

25:47 Drew Yeah, you can make an omelet.

25:48 Adam Hey, Leah, it says up here you haven't had sex in eight years.

25:53 Yeah, but you have to tell the audience first how old I am. That makes a bigger impact.

25:58 Drew It's actually worse at your age.

26:00 Adam She's 45.

26:01 It's what's worse, having old eggs? Forty-five-year-old eggs, that's right.

26:06 Drew No, no, no. Forty-five-year-old, no sex.

26:10 Really?

26:11 Adam Yeah. What's up?

26:17 Caller Well, I don't know.

26:19 You know, I'm just still, I guess, trying to figure that out, Adam. Slowly but surely, I'm determined to figure it out.

26:26 Adam Are you divorced?

26:27 No, I've never been married.

26:30 Adam And who gave you the sex in 1993?

26:36 Who did?

26:37 Adam Yeah.

26:38 A person?

26:39 Adam Oh, good. Let me get my scratch pad out. Yeah. I'm saying you weren't raped by an alien?

26:44 No, that's, you know, I don't think I'm really that unusual, actually. I really don't.

26:51 Adam Well, you've never married. You have no kids. You're 45. You're not dating, obviously.

26:59 Caller No.

27:00 Adam What do you, doesn't it feel like you're voiding something, this part of life that most women especially seem to embrace or at least pursue?

27:08 Caller Well, God, you know, if I wait too much longer, you know, it won't probably even matter anymore and that's even blowing my mind more. Like life has kind of passed me by, but you know, I didn't plan it like this. It happens kind of, you know, you wake up one day and you go, oh, I'm 45.

27:26 Adam Oh, hold on, watch the S word there, Grandma.

27:29 Caller I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

27:30 Drew Grandma! What were you doing that kept you so preoccupied that you didn't pay attention to some of the other priorities in your life?

27:38 Adam Nothing, being crazy.

27:42 Caller Well, it's like, I suppose it's like the things that we regret when we look at our life and...

27:52 Drew What were you doing that kept you so busy that you couldn't pay attention to what was going on?

27:55 Caller You mean like from the time that I was sexually active until now?

28:01 Drew It just sounds like things didn't go down the way you had intended them to.

28:04 Caller And what caused you to let that go?

28:07 Caller I think I had this kind of image in my mind that I was going to have a white picket fence and washing dishes, you know, 45, right? Washing dishes at the kitchen sink and staring out of my kitchen window with little lace curtains.

28:18 Drew Is that what you wanted to do?

28:20 Caller It was sort of like, I didn't even question it. It was this image I had since I was a small girl.

28:26 Drew But is it what you wanted to do?

28:29 Adam Drew, do you realize that talking to crazy people is a lot like talking to a fish? Do you know what I mean? That it's more satisfying to talk to a fish?

28:40 Drew I always figured it was the fish.

28:41 Adam The thing about the fish is the fish doesn't answer. So it's not confusing.

28:45 Drew But the crazy person isn't going to answer. You expect an answer from one of those.

28:48 Adam Right. The crazy person rambles in some bizarre direction that then makes you then regather and then restate your question again.

28:56 Drew The balloon over my head, the thought balloon constantly is, oh, there's something wrong with the lines here. It has to be.

29:02 Adam Right.

29:02 Drew They're not hearing me.

29:03 Adam They're not hearing you.

29:06 Adam So anyway, listen, Leah.

29:07 Caller Listen, let me just say something. Yes, it's painful. You know, you're shooting these darts, these point blank darts. And if I had the answers, then I wouldn't be what you call crazy.

29:18 Adam Right.

29:19 Caller What you're saying that I'm crazy. If I had these answers, I'm working on them. And they're painful.

29:23 Adam Well, listen, you don't have to have the answers, but you can have the answers to the questions, which is oftentimes just sort of chronological questions.

29:35 Caller What was I doing all those years? Partying. Is that what you wanted to hear?

29:40 Drew I don't know.

29:40 Adam I want to hear whatever you were doing.

29:42 Caller No, you're, you know, partying.

29:45 Adam Okay, you're doing drugs?

29:46 Caller I was.

29:47 Drew Okay. That gives us a direction to go. We can help you with that, you know?

29:52 Adam Are you clean now?

29:53 Caller Uh-huh.

29:53 Adam Okay, good. So now?

29:55 Drew Are you in recovery?

29:57 Caller Um, I went through recovery when I first stopped doing drugs and alcohol.

30:06 Drew Which was how long ago?

30:08 Caller About ten years ago.

30:10 Drew Well, I would suggest to you that whatever process you went through there was incomplete because you've not yet established the capacity for intimacy in your life. That should be part of recovery. And you really need to look back into that, get a sponsor, sort through what the issues of shame or powerlessness, what the problems are to keep you from being vulnerable in a relationship so you can once again have satisfaction in life.

30:33 Adam You know, the beauty of this show and me, about three minutes ago, she called and said that we were doing the Lord's work, and she's now currently baking a cake bomb that she's going to send over to the studio.

30:47 Drew And what's interesting to her is that she was like resistant to telling us something that I had no idea where she, I thought she was going to say she was an executive and was working real hard, you know, and sacrificed on behalf of her career.

30:56 Adam Yeah. All right. Listen, Leo, we love you, baby. Yeah. You're sober. You've been sober for ten years.

31:03 Drew That's good.

31:03 Adam And it's time to get back on the horse and start the next chapter.

31:08 Drew Take it the rest of the way. Yeah.

31:09 Adam Stephen?

31:10 Caller Yes.

31:11 Adam You're 31?

31:12 Caller Yes.

31:12 Adam What's up?

31:14 Caller I've been to the doctor emergency room. I got like little white dots that have like yellow pus, clear yellow pus that comes out of them, but it's all over my ankle, my feet, up my legs, in my crotch, I mean, up my belly.

31:33 Drew Are they blisters?

31:35 Caller No, not exactly. They itch like crazy. I mean, I can't stop from itching. I mean, I try to use Benadryl to stop me from itching.

31:44 Drew What did they tell you at the emergency room it was?

31:46 Caller They told me that it was like poison oak or infant Tago.

31:50 Drew Okay. Well, have you been treated?

31:53 Caller Yeah. They gave me some medicine.

31:55 Drew All right. Do you feel better?

31:57 Caller Yeah, but it came back after I stopped taking the medicine. All right.

32:01 Drew You got to go to a dermatologist and take your medicine.

32:04 Caller I went to a dermatologist and he did a skin graph on it. I mean I was glad. I had blisters on top of blisters, like water blisters. He took a skin test and he said it wasn't poison oak, it wasn't Infantigo, it wasn't scabies, it wasn't nothing. He can't figure out.

32:30 Drew Did he use a term called Pemphigoid?

32:33 Caller No.

32:34 Drew Well, ask him about Pemphigoid because it sounds like Pemphigoid. Are you on Prednisone now?

32:40 Caller Yeah.

32:41 Drew All right.

32:41 Caller He put me on Prednisone.

32:42 Drew All right. Prednisone will work, Stephen, but there's some new data that suggests that you can use cyclosporine in Pemphigoid if that's indeed what this is.

32:49 Adam What is that?

32:51 Drew It's a blistering, itchy autoimmune disease and it happens sporadically. We don't know why and that sounds like what Stephen has.

32:58 Adam All right. So go back to him and talk to him. That skin stuff going south is the worst.

33:04 Next Friday, I'm going to go to Club White with Frankie.

33:08 Adam Where are you going with Frankie?

33:09 Drew Club where?

33:11 Caller Hello.

33:12 Adam Where are you going with Frankie?

33:19 Drew Club what? Club what?

33:20 Caller Club live.

33:22 Drew Club what?

33:23 Adam With Frankie?

33:24 Caller Yeah.

33:25 Adam I don't trust this Frankie. He's no good for you, you know. He's only using you.

33:31 Caller Really?

33:32 Adam Yeah.

33:33 Drew Oh yeah. Frankie wants sex. I bet he wants sex.

33:36 Caller Yeah.

33:36 Adam His gum chewing and his greasy black hair. He thinks he's so high.

33:42 Caller Yeah.

33:43 Drew He's only 16. That's ridiculous. How old is he?

33:45 Caller He's 17.

33:47 Adam Yeah. But he's an old 17.

33:49 Drew Tell him to slow down.

33:50 Yeah.

33:51 Adam Okay. So what's your question?

33:54 He wants me to do things that I don't want to do yet.

33:58 Drew What did I just say?

34:01 Adam Like what? Take out the garbage or rake the lawn or something?

34:05 No.

34:06 Adam Like what then?

34:08 Like he wants me to have sex with him and stuff and I don't want to yet. Not until I get ready but...

34:15 Drew Hold out. Do not give in to this guy. That's fine. That's what he wants. That's normal for his age. But if he really respects you and he cares about you, he'll cool out a little bit. Right? What's your friend's name is on the line with you?

34:27 Caller Her name is Sarah.

34:29 Drew Sarah, isn't that right? Did you tell her the same thing? You told her the same thing. All right. You watch her.

34:34 Caller Oh, I will.

34:36 Adam How far have you gotten with Frankie, Tanya?

34:38 Caller Me?

34:41 Caller Just not very much.

34:43 Adam Not very far?

34:44 Drew Hey, Sarah, what kind of guy is Frankie?

34:48 Caller I don't know.

34:49 Caller He's nice, but he's not my type.

34:52 Drew All right. But he's not a jerk?

34:54 Caller No. Yeah.

34:56 Drew Oh, he is a jerk?

34:57 Caller Kind of.

34:58 Caller I think he is.

35:00 Adam Tanya, what do you think about Sarah not liking Frankie?

35:04 Caller Well, they get along, actually, really nice, but like...

35:08 Drew No.

35:08 Adam She thinks she's a dick.

35:10 Caller Well, he's more than a dick. He's like beyond a dick.

35:16 Drew Why are you with a guy like that, Tanya?

35:18 Caller Well, only she thinks that, though.

35:21 Adam Well, Sarah, what are you basing this on?

35:23 Caller I don't know. I just don't really like him very much because he's been mean to me in the past, so.

35:34 Adam You're jealous. You like Tanya, don't you?

35:37 Caller Oh, my God.

35:37 Caller Who told you?

35:38 Adam I know how you young women think because I recreate it when I get home at night.

35:43 Caller You just don't tell anyone, okay?

35:45 Adam All right.

35:46 Drew Sarah is a mature friend.

35:48 Adam She's asking for Sarah.

35:49 Drew Sarah is good.

35:50 Adam All right, Tanya, you listen to Sarah. Don't listen to Frankie.

35:53 Drew That's right.

35:53 Adam And I'm going to tell Annette and Moondoggy to meet us over at what the hell was Don Rickles' character's name in all those crappy Beach Blanket Bingo movies? Mr. Big or something? Rat Fanker.

36:09 Drew Jesus.

36:10 Adam Drew, do you realize you're just zero help all the time?

36:12 Drew I didn't know Don Rickles was in those movies.

36:14 Adam Yeah. He always played like the club owner or something. Bill, you're backing me up on Bill Russell.

36:22 Drew Yeah. Well, you bug me when I don't. To finally get behind you on something wrong.

36:28 Adam All right. We're going to... Bill Buckner never played for the Dodgers, huh?

36:33 Drew Look him up.

36:34 Adam We've got to figure this out. We're going to take ourselves a little break. You know the part that's interesting, the part of the human mind? When you say something, you know it's wrong, but you have nothing else to take its place.

36:47 Drew It's just a feeling. It's like, whoa, wait, what's wrong here? But you go on.

36:51 Adam Right. Oftentimes, if it's in front of somebody like yourself, Drew, though I've learned not to trust you at all and people around you don't protest, you'll just keep moving.

37:03 Drew That's right.

37:03 Adam I said Bill, I said Bill, who did I say now?

37:07 Drew Buckner.

37:08 Adam Bill Russell. I stopped for a second and said, was it Bill Russell?

37:12 Caller It was David Ropes.

37:13 Adam All right, green light. I moved forward again and I'm stuck. We're going to take a break. Who are we going to talk to when we come back, Drew?

37:20 Drew I thought we'd talk to Aaron.

37:26 Adam She has addictive personality. She's prescribed Adderall. What's that Adderall do, Drew?

37:35 Drew It's ADD medication.

37:38 Anything can cause addiction, Adam.

37:40 Caller Did you know that?

37:41 Adam We'll be back. Once again, Loveline, Hey, everybody, Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla, that is Dr. Drew over there. Drew? Bill Buckner played for the Dodgers from sixty-nine to seventy-six. Wow. Your wheelhouse goofball.

38:26 Drew That's that same feeling, right? I knew you were right about that.

38:30 Adam The same feeling that knew I was wrong by saying Bill Russell had the ball go through his legs in the World Series. It's the same feeling I had about knowing I was right that Bill Buckner played for the Dodgers. Well, back to the point. Thank you. And Drew, where were you for both of those? What country did you grow up in?

38:50 Drew What position did you play?

38:51 Adam Buckner?

38:52 Drew Yeah.

38:53 Adam I thought you played second or short. He was an infielder. What country did you grow up in?

39:00 Drew Little Lord of Fauntleroy.

39:03 Adam Where were you in 1969 through 76? You were a Dodger fan, right?

39:08 Drew Little bit. I was a football fan then.

39:11 Adam All right. Where are we going? Oh, down to line four. Erin?

39:16 Caller Hi.

39:16 Adam You're 19?

39:17 Caller Yeah.

39:18 Caller What's up?

39:19 Caller I was diagnosed with ADD two years ago, which is really late, I know, and they put me on Adderall. I know that it's like speed because the doctor already warned me, like, I can't give it to anybody, and I'm just really afraid that I might become addicted to it somehow because he told me that most likely I'll be on it for the rest of my life, and it's easy to get addicted to speed-like substances.

39:46 Drew Are you an addict?

39:47 Caller No, no, no, no, no, no.

39:49 Caller Never.

39:49 Drew Then don't worry about it.

39:50 Caller But I used to.

39:51 Drew Addicts get addicted.

39:52 Adam No.

39:52 Drew Non-addicts don't.

39:54 Adam No, no, no.

39:54 Drew No, no, no, no.

39:55 Caller I have an addictive personality. It doesn't matter.

39:59 Drew You are an addict.

40:01 Adam No.

40:01 Caller I mean, I've tried drugs, and I still crave doing them, but I know that I have an addictive personality, so I can't have a way to do that.

40:10 Drew Stop repeating addictive personality. There is no such thing as an addictive personality. There is addictive biology. You inherit a gene that predisposes you to addiction, and if you've had addiction, you're an addict, whether or not you're still using or not. If you're an addict, what's that?

40:24 Caller Yeah. No, I've never been addicted to anything.

40:26 Drew You're not an addict. You see the family history of alcoholism?

40:30 Caller Yeah, and my dad just be addicted to cocaine.

40:33 Drew Alright, and you said you had been using drugs?

40:36 Caller No, I've tried, like once.

40:38 Adam Once, alright. Hey, Erin.

40:40 Drew Well, be careful. You got to be careful because if you come from a family history of alcoholism or addiction and you have ADD, there's a possibility that that ADD is actually a manifestation of the addictive biology. And as such, you might talk to your doctor about using medications other than the stimulants, things like Wellbutrin, Clonidine. There are other choices out there than the stimulants, and after the age of 18 is when you see the stimulants trigger addiction.

41:01 Adam And what's up with the You May Be On This Your Whole Life?

41:05 Drew Yeah, well if you're a non-addict ADD, that's true.

41:08 Adam Really? Yeah. You know, do you have ADD at 47?

41:12 Drew Yeah.

41:13 Adam Nah.

41:14 Drew You have such a thing.

41:15 Adam Listen, you should hope you have it at 47.

41:19 Drew Yeah.

41:19 Adam Do you know what I'm saying?

41:21 Drew Yeah, yeah.

41:21 Adam Let me give you a little energy. Bobby?

41:25 Drew Yeah?

41:26 Adam I mean, Drew, I'm just saying, do you agree with doctors, you know, giving 19-year-old prescription drugs and say you may be on this your whole life? It just sounds, it just sounds, I don't know.

41:36 Drew A little aggressive.

41:36 Adam Yeah, a little aggressive. Just say, you know, here you go. They should do it. Well, we'll stay on it until we don't need it anymore. And if you know it's the rest of your life, then you know it. But why tell them it's the rest of your life, 19-year-old chicks?

41:47 Drew I was just trying to think what we would call your disorder as compared to ADD in adulthood. Yours would just be deficit disorder, right?

41:54 Adam Yeah.

41:54 Adam Well, I have NAP. That's NAP.

41:58 Adam Yeah.

41:58 Adam I just want to go to bed. Bobby?

42:02 Caller Yeah?

42:02 Adam You're 12?

42:03 Caller Yeah.

42:04 Adam You're going to have to call yourself Bob soon, you know.

42:08 Drew Robert. Actually, Robert.

42:09 Adam Yeah, Robert. What's up there, Bobby?

42:13 Caller I have a girlfriend.

42:14 Caller I've been dating her for like four months.

42:17 Caller Four or five months.

42:18 Drew Where do you go on your dates?

42:20 Caller Like movies and stuff.

42:23 Drew Do you ride bikes?

42:24 Caller How do you get there? What?

42:27 Drew How do you get there?

42:29 Caller One of our parents takes us.

42:31 Caller Okay.

42:34 Adam Hey, Drew, I'm going to go take a cramp. Do you want to finish this one off? What's up there, Bobby?

42:41 Caller Yeah, well, I've been with her for a long time and she asked me out, so I know that she, like, she, like, is interested in me and stuff.

42:50 Drew She likes you.

42:51 Caller Yeah.

42:52 Drew Yeah.

42:53 Adam Right. Does she like you or does she...

42:58 Drew Like you.

42:59 Adam All right. But does she love you or is she not in love with you, though?

43:03 Drew No, no.

43:03 Caller She likes.

43:05 Adam Okay. So what's up there, Bobby?

43:09 Drew What's the question, actually?

43:11 Caller Well, I never kissed her or anything.

43:12 Caller I was wondering if...

43:15 Drew She's expecting you to, Bobby.

43:17 Caller What?

43:18 Drew She is expecting you to kiss her.

43:20 Caller Yeah?

43:21 Caller Yeah.

43:21 Drew Yeah. It's time.

43:22 Caller Yeah.

43:23 Caller I was wondering how I would go about doing that.

43:24 Drew Maybe start with the cheek.

43:27 Adam Yeah. Yeah. You're talking about kissing her on the ass or are you talking about her face?

43:31 Drew No face.

43:32 Adam Hey, Bobby, do you wear braces?

43:35 Caller No.

43:35 Adam Okay. How's your mouth doing? The hygiene good? Yeah. Okay. Hey, Drew, what is it about 12, 13 year old boys who have like a little extra tooth and gum? Do you know what I'm talking about?

43:50 Drew No. What do you mean? Explain to me what you mean.

43:54 Adam You were talking to Bobby and Bobby was talking to us and it sounded like he went to the dentist today.

44:00 Drew Nasally. Yeah, nasally.

44:02 Adam It's a mixture of nasally and their lips way too much for their jaw or something.

44:06 Drew Yes, yes, yes. Right. It's like it's called dysarthria. It's like they're slurring their words a little bit and their lower lips will be heavy.

44:14 Adam Yeah. You know when you see teenage.

44:16 Drew Slag jawed.

44:17 Adam Slag jawed.

44:18 Drew When you see a slagger.

44:20 Adam When you see a teenager like a big dog, you take a big dog like a Labrador and you see one that's just a year old and their paws are big and they're full size but they're kind of dopey. Yeah, yeah. That's what happens and this is what I worry about with guys when they make out.

44:38 Drew The slobber.

44:39 Adam At 12 or 13 they've got that big dopey mouth.

44:42 Drew Yeah, yeah.

44:42 Adam Like kissing Mr. Ed.

44:44 Drew Yeah. Well, the good news is 12 year old girls must be used to that.

44:50 Adam Yeah. Like from their dad's stuff.

44:52 Drew No, no.

44:53 Adam Oh, I see. You're right. Yeah, Bobby, just give her a kiss. And here's the thing. You can't think about it too much. And there's no technique to work. You know what? It's like practicing kissing is like practicing cramping. Why bother?

45:11 Drew It's just doing it. That seems to be on your mind right now. That seems to be really much on your mind right now, so why don't we get on with that. You need to practice your cramp.

45:18 Adam Is it becoming apparent?

45:20 Drew Yeah.

45:20 Adam I'm going to go number two.

45:21 Drew You've mentioned it like five times.

45:24 Adam Hold on a second.

45:24 Drew Hold on.

45:25 Adam Damien, warm up the toilet seat. Daddy's coming. I got this new thing now. It's in the contractor. I hope it's in yours.

45:33 Drew Does Damien have to sit for a while first?

45:35 Adam When I go number two at Loveline, I need Damien to warm the throne first before I then climb on. It's actually after October.

45:45 Drew Does he have to go in there and hose off too for you?

45:47 Adam He has to wipe it down, swab it down with alcohol.

45:50 Drew Good times. No, no, no. I mean hose you down.

45:53 Adam No, I clean myself. I'm not going to put him through that, but you know what it's like when you hit that cold hard plastic toilet seat.

46:01 Drew When do we find out?

46:02 Adam No, I just said, Damien, get on there and warm it up. What do you place? Oh, I'll be in about 45 seconds. Move around frantically to get a little heat friction going. Drew's in Florida. I'm in hell and we'll be back after this. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Drew in Florida tonight. Don't make me go through this again. Drew is over there in...

47:58 Adam Chicken-a-bob-a-da.

47:59 Adam That's enough. Drew, where are you in Tampa?

48:03 Drew Yeah. I'm actually in Fort Lauderdale, the Bayfront Medical Center, in the University of Southern Florida.

48:07 Adam Beautiful country out there.

48:08 Drew I'll talk there tonight, and then I'm going to do a Grand Rounds tomorrow.

48:12 Adam 85.

48:13 Drew Good times.

48:13 Adam 85 degrees, huh?

48:14 Drew 85 with a hurricane approaching. Michelle is, yeah, is that nice? I'll tell you something. Something is interesting. You don't realize how uptight people are in big cities right now. I mean, in LA, when you go to parents' meetings and stuff, people are talking about freaky things. Here in Fort Lauderdale and Tampa, there's sort of like a breath of fresh air. People aren't really as flipped out as they are in Los Angeles.

48:39 Adam Well, they're more worried about waffles.

48:41 Drew Waffle houses and Michelle, the hurricane that's just offshore here.

48:45 Adam Right. They got bigger fish to fry. You know, here's the thing I don't understand, but maybe you understand it. When they give these, you know, the first they give the general terrorist warning that something may happen in the upcoming week. And which to me says, hey, if I'm a terrorist, I'm going to sit on my plans for another couple weeks and wait for the warning to blow over. But then when they get real specific, which I heard tonight about, they have credible information that says that something's going to happen at the Golden Gate Bridge or something's going to happen at such and such. They have a couple of bridges they've focused on now. Now, what terrorist in their right mind is going to then proceed with their plans to attack the Golden Gate Bridge when the warning has gone out that something may happen at the Golden Gate Bridge and they're beefing up security? Wouldn't you as a terrorist who had a plan to blow up the Golden Gate Bridge just sit back for three weeks and then hit it a little bit later?

49:48 Drew Yeah, because in a way they've already had their desired effect without even doing it.

49:53 Adam Yeah, well not really. I mean the bridge didn't come down and it didn't kill hundreds of thousands of motorists during rush hour, but I'm saying as far as our government, why do you think they're saying that? They must know that the terrorists are going to catch wind of this. Are they doing it to get them not to do it?

50:16 Drew Maybe.

50:17 Adam Do you know what I mean?

50:19 Drew Yeah, it's a possible side effect of announcing it like that, sure.

50:22 Adam It's not even, to me, it's more than a possibility.

50:26 Drew On the other hand, they could just go ahead with this, just to show that they can. Yeah, but if they're able to pull it off, that's going to mean something too.

50:34 Adam I guess so, but it just seemed like if your plan was to take a rider truck and fill it full of manure and drive it out to the middle of the Golden Gate Bridge and blow it up, you would cancel that plan now and do it later on. And it seems like if we know they're going to do something on the Golden Gate Bridge or we hear they're going to do something on the Golden Gate Bridge, why don't we just keep that close to the vest, set up a bunch of surveillance and get these guys when they're doing it so they don't come back again?

51:07 Drew Because if they succeed, then people go, why didn't you tell us?

51:12 Adam Why don't we just write it down and hide it somewhere and put a date next to it?

51:16 Drew Yeah, we decided not to do that.

51:18 Adam Let the people know we knew. Because they're not going to do it now. We're just going to sit there. Here's all I'm saying, Drew. We'll get right back to calls. The government knows something. There's a method to their apparent madness. The reason they're putting it out to the news services specifically about these targets and specifically about these dates is for a reason. I'm curious what that... I would love to talk to some high-ranking official candidly and find out what the real reason is.

51:55 Drew It's another piece of the puzzle that I'd like to know, but if it's appropriate for us to know it, I agree.

52:00 Adam Well, it's appropriate for us to know, me and you.

52:03 Drew Yeah, you and me, of course.

52:04 Adam Not the guys at the Waffle Hut, that's all. You got a call here, Drew? Daphne?

52:09 Caller Yeah.

52:09 Drew Daphne's not a name we hear much anymore, is it?

52:11 Adam Nope. You're 16. What's up?

52:15 Caller Okay.

52:15 Caller Well, my period was due on the 24th, right? It never came. So yesterday, first thing in the morning, I checked and there was this weird brownish spotting, right? But then it started getting like brownish red and then like, now it's like today, it's all red, but it's barely there. I don't know if this is my period or-

52:37 Drew It's your period. Are you always very, very regular?

52:42 Caller Sometimes, but I mean, this is like weird. It's just like spots, it's not like-

52:46 Drew No, this is your period. Is there any chance you're pregnant?

52:49 Caller Maybe.

52:52 Drew You ought to take a pregnancy test then.

52:54 Caller I did.

52:54 Caller I took two.

52:56 Drew Good. And?

52:57 Adam Negative.

52:58 Drew And how long, what was the longest period after you had sex before a pregnancy test? There's a terrible way to ask that question. How much time had transpired between having sex and your last pregnancy test?

53:13 Caller I waited about like a week or two.

53:18 Caller I took two like a week apart, so.

53:20 Drew Alright, so two weeks, right? I would still take another one just to see. There's still a possibility you're pregnant, but I suspect this is just your period.

53:29 Caller Well, because I've heard like it could be like miscarriage or something like that.

53:33 Drew Or pregnancy could be a lot of things, but you have to be pregnant in order to have a miscarriage.

53:37 Adam We have an unprotected sex?

53:40 Caller Yeah, I did.

53:41 Drew Why?

53:43 Adam Why not? She's 16. She's from Glendale. Well, don't do it again, alright?

53:49 Caller Okay.

53:51 Adam You have a boyfriend now, right?

53:54 Caller No, he broke up.

53:57 Drew Oh, okay. That kind of emotional upset can screw with your periods, too.

54:00 Caller Yeah.

54:03 Adam Well, maybe you won't be having sex for a little while now, right?

54:08 Caller No.

54:09 Adam You don't have a boyfriend, right?

54:10 Caller No, not anymore.

54:12 Adam What happened? You okay?

54:13 Caller No, not really.

54:14 Adam Did he break your heart?

54:15 Caller Yeah.

54:16 Caller What happened?

54:18 Adam We hate him. Yeah, we don't like him.

54:20 Caller We hate him, too.

54:21 Caller How old was he?

54:22 Adam What happened?

54:22 Caller Huh?

54:23 Adam Shut up, Drew. How old is he?

54:25 Caller Twenty-one.

54:26 Caller Yeah, we really hate him.

54:29 Adam He's a dandy, this guy.

54:30 Drew He's flawed.

54:33 Caller He's not that bad.

54:34 Adam Yeah, he's bad.

54:35 Caller No, he was sweet.

54:37 Adam Well, why'd he dump you?

54:38 Caller I don't know. His feelings changed, I guess.

54:45 Drew Translation should... Yeah.

54:48 Adam How long did you two go out?

54:50 Caller Probably one.

54:52 Adam Okay. All right. Well, he's too old for you anyway. All right. Don't be in such a hurry. All right. Slow down. You find a nice geeky guy. Nice 10th grader. And by the way, these poor guys, these poor sons of bitches in the 10th and 11th grade, you know what I mean? You want to know why they're not getting laid?

55:15 Drew Because Daphne is dating a 21 year old.

55:17 Adam That's right. Naomi?

55:19 Caller Yes.

55:19 Adam You're 22?

55:20 Caller I am.

55:21 Adam What's up?

55:22 Caller Okay. The reason I'm calling is because last night, being that it was Halloween and all, this guy that I know that I frequently hook up with, this guy had some chocolate down there and like eat it out or whatever. And I didn't think there was anything wrong with it. And then today, my vagina is like on fuego. It is so uncomfortable and irritated down there.

55:45 Caller I was just wondering, is there something in chocolate that would automatically irritate it down there?

55:50 Adam What kind of chocolate?

55:51 Caller It was a score bar.

55:53 Adam Ironic, isn't it?

55:54 Caller What kind of bar?

55:55 Drew Score bar? A score bar?

55:59 Caller I know.

56:01 Drew Score al fuego.

56:02 Adam Yeah, exactly. So now, did he work you over with it a little bit?

56:08 Caller A little bit, yeah. But I mean, it wasn't like, because it is like chocolate, it's like toffee covered chocolate, you know, or vice versa. Toffee? He didn't like scratch me with the toffee or whatever.

56:19 Drew Toffee, I know. It's toffee.

56:21 Adam Where are you from, Naomi?

56:22 Caller I'm from the East Coast. I'm from New York.

56:23 Drew Brooklyn.

56:25 Caller No, I'm not from Brooklyn. I'm from Manhattan. But I was just wondering like what's going on down there because it's just not a comfortable thing.

56:35 Drew It could be a chemical irritation from whatever the hell was in that score bar or you could just have induced a yeast infection, putting stuff in there. Why don't you try some of the over-the-counter yeast medication first and then if that doesn't work after a couple of days, you've got to see the doctor, okay?

56:53 Adam Okay. Listen, be careful because Easter is really going to screw you.

56:58 Caller I know.

56:58 Adam It's going to shove a whole basket up there.

57:01 Caller Exactly.

57:02 Adam Chocolate money.

57:03 Drew He's an eye on those peeps.

57:06 Caller I have another question for you guys. I want to know if Damien is hot because I gave him my number and I want him to call me.

57:12 Drew Yeah.

57:13 Adam Yeah, he's hot.

57:14 Caller Score.

57:15 Adam Yeah. You gave our phone screener your number.

57:18 Caller I did.

57:22 Adam You think that was wise, really?

57:24 Caller Well, no, but I'm not really worried.

57:26 Adam Do you look at him as sort of a celebrity?

57:28 Caller No, not in the least. No, not at all.

57:32 Drew He plans to get to you, Adam.

57:34 Adam He's a good man, that Damien.

57:36 Drew Yeah.

57:36 Caller Good to know.

57:37 Adam He's a talent. He's a real up-and-comer.

57:41 Caller Oh, well, that's great.

57:43 Adam One day, he'll be warming Drew's toilet seat for him, too. He'll give you a call.

57:48 Caller Okay, thanks.

57:49 Adam And he'll bring over...

57:51 Caller I want to be with Drew next.

57:53 Adam He told me he raped a chick with an Abba Zabba in junior college once about four years ago.

58:01 Caller Okay, thanks.

58:01 Adam Enjoy. Good times.

58:04 Drew Adam, who named Abba Zabba? How high were they?

58:10 Caller Abba Zabba.

58:13 Adam Yeah, they must have been really high. But that's a good thing about naming candy. It's all bets are off. There's no real rules. Maybe it had something to do with the Flintstones and the Abba Dabba.

58:26 Drew Really?

58:27 Adam Maybe it had something to do with the Bayon to Abba at the time.

58:30 Drew I thought that Abba Zabba was like an ancient bar from the 20s.

58:33 Adam Well, maybe it is.

58:36 Drew Everyone thinks Baby Ruth is after Babe Ruth, but it isn't.

58:39 Adam No, but there was an O. Henry bar after Hank Aaron and there was a Reggie bar after Reggie Jackson.

58:46 Drew Seriously?

58:47 Adam Do you remember those Reggie bars?

58:49 Drew I remember O. Henry's.

58:50 Adam O. Henry. It's a hit every time.

58:53 Drew Oh my God.

58:54 Adam Yeah. And there was a Reggie bar for a little while too. It was like during that time of Willy Wonka when if something was hot, they came out with something.

59:05 Drew With candy, yeah. Tara? Tara?

59:10 Caller Hi, Tara.

59:11 Adam Hi, Tara. What's happening?

59:13 Caller Well, I have a double question, I guess. I have a rash down below and when I first noticed that it was really itchy, so I'm like, itching, okay? The next day, there's like a couple bumps because I had my husband look. I said, please, can you look down there?

59:36 Drew Like blisters?

59:37 Caller Well, he said that they looked just kind of red with, I think he said a small yellow head.

59:44 Drew Like ulcers, like you'd see on the inside of your mouth?

59:49 Caller You know what? I don't know.

59:50 Drew You didn't see them.

59:52 Caller You know what?

59:52 Caller I just can't see them for some reason.

59:54 Drew Well, I'm going down that path because anything that burns or hurts is herpes until proven otherwise.

59:59 Caller See, that's where I'm going with this.

1:00:02 Caller See, the next day, all these bumps turned into like this, like they all got together and had a party.

1:00:09 Caller I don't know that they were all like together down there.

1:00:11 Drew Tara, that's a classic description of herpes, which is clustering of vesicles. You know, clustered vesicles on a red base.

1:00:17 Caller You know what? I took a mirror down there and they are completely red and they itch so badly that I feel like they're going to scratch off. And, you know, the first doctor I went to prescribed something that made it so bad. He prescribed Nystatin, Trium, the Nicolone. It's a...

1:00:34 Drew There that's for yeast, basically.

1:00:35 Caller Oh, it hurts so badly. I put it down there. I cried in like for three days. I just couldn't sleep because it burned and hurt and just made it worse.

1:00:42 Adam Well, wait a minute. Why would you put a yeast thing? Is it topical? Is it on?

1:00:47 Caller Yeah.

1:00:48 Drew It's cream. It's cream.

1:00:49 Caller Exactly. It's a cream. And the doctor said...

1:00:51 Drew Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Adam, you didn't know that women put yeast cream inside them?

1:00:54 Adam They put it inside them, but I didn't know this was inside her. I thought it was on her.

1:00:59 Caller No. It's down there in the surrounding area. Yeah, but now it seems like it's gone into almost to the inner lips, but it's...

1:01:07 Caller Yikes.

1:01:08 Caller It's pretty much... I know it's disgusting. It's pretty much on the outside.

1:01:12 Adam Yeah, that's what I was saying.

1:01:13 Caller And I'm very concerned because since I've been married, I've only been with my husband and I know he's only been with me in my question.

1:01:21 Drew Does he ever get cold sores?

1:01:22 Caller Nope.

1:01:24 Drew Never?

1:01:24 Caller Nope. I've never seen him have a cold sore before. And I know he's only been with me, however, of course, before we got married, he was with other people and I was. So I'm wondering, can herpes be from someone I was before?

1:01:39 Adam How long ago?

1:01:41 Caller Let's see, we've been together two years, so three herpes?

1:01:44 Drew It's possible, but it sounds like you're having a primary outbreak. The intensity of this one sounds like your first go-round with it. It's possible your husband's had it for a long time and it's been dormant. He didn't know it.

1:01:54 Adam Well, what about her being dormant?

1:01:56 Drew No, because for her this sounds like an initial outbreak. You see what I'm saying?

1:02:00 Adam Right.

1:02:01 Drew He may have not had an outbreak for ten years and all of a sudden had a little something and then pout.

1:02:05 Adam You know what?

1:02:05 Caller He told me he had something like just like this, but it was on the middle side of like the creases where your leg meets your tummy. He said he had it right there and it's so bad. He said it just went away, but that was so long ago.

1:02:17 Drew That's still probably it.

1:02:19 Adam Wait a second.

1:02:20 Caller I was hearing that herpes is like forever. Once you have it, it never gets cured.

1:02:24 Drew Well, just like your husband, he had it once and ten years later, he had a little something and he didn't even notice. I mean, that's what it does very often.

1:02:30 Adam You're married at school.

1:02:31 Caller Well, they also the next day, the next doctor, because I had to go again, it was hurting so bad, prescribed something called Xovarax.

1:02:39 Drew Yeah.

1:02:39 Caller It's a clover.

1:02:42 Drew Yeah, take it. Acyclovir. Take it.

1:02:43 Caller Now, when I put that down, no, exactly.

1:02:46 Drew We gave you the cream?

1:02:47 Caller Yeah.

1:02:47 Drew No, you need to take the pills. There's two, there's three, there's three pills. There's Xovarax pills, there's Valtrex pills, and there's Famveir pills. And that will shorten the duration of this whole thing.

1:02:56 Caller Yeah, but the pharmacist said, she's like, oh my gosh, you need to take the pill, but the thing is I'm breastfeeding still.

1:03:00 Drew Dope.

1:03:01 Caller Oh, that's the problem, that's why he gave me the cream.

1:03:04 Caller But I put it down there and it seemed to help a little bit.

1:03:06 Caller You have to put it down there six times a day.

1:03:08 Adam Too long, it won't do much.

1:03:09 Adam Too long, it won't do anything. How long has it been?

1:03:13 Caller Well, at least for a good four days.

1:03:15 Adam All right, listen, it will just burn itself out in another five days.

1:03:18 Caller It's not like I have a disease forever, it's fine.

1:03:21 Adam No, you will have it forever. But here's the thing, you're with your husband, right?

1:03:26 Caller That's it.

1:03:27 Adam And he's with you and that's fine.

1:03:29 Drew I'm telling you, right now, he's as bad as it's ever going to be.

1:03:33 Caller I hope so.

1:03:33 Drew This is it. No, this is it. The first outbreak is always the worst. Oh, really? Yeah, always. And you may have a little bit here and there in the future and that's that.

1:03:41 Adam All right.

1:03:43 Drew There's more stigma and paranoia about herpes than there is a skin rash, an itchy skin rash.

1:03:47 Adam It'll go away in a few days and then you'll be fine for a little while. I mean, it could be years. Who the hell knows? Jeff?

1:03:54 Caller Oh, hi.

1:03:55 Adam Hey, you're 20. What's up?

1:03:58 Caller I'm calling. I have a question, a main question, and a question about the medication I'm taking too. My main question is, I just have this really bad anxiety, this social anxiety, and it's really bad when I talk to girls. Like, I can't talk to girls. Well, I can, but whenever I have anything that even resembles a meaningful conversation, it's like I think about what a relationship would be like with them and what sex would be like with them, and I can't just talk to them, you know? Yeah.

1:04:25 Drew And what do you think? It's in fact... How do you feel when you think about being sexual with a woman, with a girl?

1:04:32 Caller Well, I don't know. I guess a part of me still thinks that sex is kind of something that's like dirty and I don't know.

1:04:39 Drew So you've never been with a girl?

1:04:41 Caller I have.

1:04:42 Drew And how was that?

1:04:44 Caller Well, it wasn't meaningful sex. It was detached sex, so...

1:04:48 Caller You ought to be ashamed of yourself!

1:04:50 Drew A lot of guys have that and think of those experiences very fondly.

1:04:53 Adam Why, yeah. That was the first 25 years of Drew's life. What do you mean? Who was this girl?

1:05:01 Caller Well, she was just...

1:05:04 Caller I mean, she wasn't the most attractive or intelligent girl.

1:05:07 Drew Adam, I hear something in Jeff's voice. I imagine you're picking up on this, too.

1:05:11 Adam Gay? Religious? What is it? What do you hear?

1:05:16 Caller I'm not gay.

1:05:17 Adam What's up, Jeff? Hey, you can level with us, man. I mean, we're not going to cast judgment on you.

1:05:26 Caller Well, I don't know. I'm not gay. I just...

1:05:31 Adam I'm not sure you're not.

1:05:33 Caller I'm sure. I mean, I've experimented before, but...

1:05:39 Adam Hold on a second, Jeff. Hey, Drew.

1:05:42 Drew Yeah?

1:05:44 Adam I know I'm very quick to call guys gay.

1:05:49 Drew Well, did you hear what I heard?

1:05:52 Adam No, I didn't hear that. But then again, I wasn't listening. What did you hear?

1:05:58 Drew I heard gay.

1:05:59 Adam Drew heard gay? Well, I heard some gay too. That's why I brought it up.

1:06:03 Drew I know. I figured you wouldn't. Then he says he's experimented. Drew?

1:06:09 Adam You and I know that experimentation, while it's always just couched as experimentation, how much experimentation really exists in the heterosexual male community? Do you know what I'm saying?

1:06:30 Drew You mean how many?

1:06:32 Adam How many guys, how many heterosexual guys that you know and I know you have no friends because your wife has forbidden you from hanging around with other people other than her immediate family. I know tons of males. I know tons of straight guys and I don't think any of them have experimented.

1:06:51 Drew I would bet that many straight men go through a period where they feel sort of warm, fond feelings for their same-sex friends. Right. And it may have been...

1:07:02 Adam No, I know. I had that for life there.

1:07:03 Drew You know what I mean? In a pre-sexual kind of feeling, they could be confusing or misconstrued, but they don't act on them typically.

1:07:12 Adam Right.

1:07:12 Drew They don't become sexual.

1:07:14 Adam As adults.

1:07:15 Drew Yeah.

1:07:16 Caller Right.

1:07:16 Adam Okay. Jeff?

1:07:18 Caller Yeah.

1:07:19 Adam So, okay.

1:07:22 Caller I'm not gay. I'm 100 percent heterosexual. Whoa.

1:07:24 Adam 100 percent. Well, what's that make us? 150 percent?

1:07:28 Caller I guess so.

1:07:29 Adam When was your last experimentation?

1:07:31 Caller Oh, geez. It was like about three years ago.

1:07:35 Adam Okay. 17.

1:07:37 Drew How many times have you experimented?

1:07:40 Caller Twice.

1:07:41 Drew You're gay.

1:07:42 Adam True, please. And what did that entail? Pardon the pun.

1:07:50 Caller I'm not gay.

1:07:51 Adam Okay. A little oral sex? Yeah. A little anal sex?

1:07:56 Caller No.

1:07:56 Adam Okay.

1:07:58 Drew Are you confused? What? Were you sexually abused? Could you have confusion about your sexual identity and about sex?

1:08:05 Caller Well, I wasn't exactly sexually abused. There was an older boy who once, like when I was at a park, wanted me to touch him and that was a long, long time ago. So, I don't think about it ever.

1:08:15 Adam Alright, that's nothing. What about your mom? Ball buster?

1:08:20 Caller Well, I live with my mom. My parents are divorced. So, it happened right before I went to high school.

1:08:27 Adam What about your mom though? Is she a tough woman?

1:08:29 Caller No, very gentle.

1:08:31 Adam Not over-domineering?

1:08:32 Caller Oh, no.

1:08:33 Adam Doesn't put too much pressure on you?

1:08:35 Caller No. I mean, she'll rag at me to clean stuff, but...

1:08:37 Adam Okay. Well, you're probably not gay. But you're a little freaked out about intimacy and sex. And you're not religious, right?

1:08:45 Caller No. I mean, I believe in God, but I'm not.

1:08:47 Adam Okay. Listen, here's the deal. There are 90% of guys who are like Drew was when he was 20, which was, you know, he'd rape a not-whole in a piece of 2x8 plank, right? Right, Drew? I mean, when you're 20.

1:09:05 Drew Yeah, 20, sure.

1:09:06 Adam Right.

1:09:07 Drew Well, 22, let's be fair.

1:09:10 Adam Right, right. But then there are guys who are a little bit more hesitant and they're a little up in their head, as we like to say. They think things out a little too much. Most guys, the guys who do the best around women, the younger guys who do the best around women, are guys who don't think, they just act. They go to a party, they have a few beers, and they lock in on some chick, and they don't go home unless she's with him. And then the guys who are up in their head, like what should I do? What does this mean? They get three or four steps ahead of themselves, like what if we have sex and she becomes too attached to me? Or what if I take her somewhere to have sex? I don't have a condom? Or I wonder if she's dating this guy? The ones who examine all the possibilities.

1:09:56 Drew I sort of throw that all into the category of I'm not yet competent as a separate person.

1:10:00 Adam I'm not ready. My head is 20 years old but my balls are 15. Whereas when you were 15 you had the balls of a 40 year old black man who was just paroled. And their guys are that way and I don't know how that works but Jeff you're one of these 20 year old dudes who is kind of up in his head a little bit. And if you want to do okay with the women, chug a beer and just try to get out of your head a little bit and that will clear you up. And don't think down the road, what if she gets attached to me? Are we going to get married? What about kids? What about life insurance? How about mental plans? What about car seats? Just you meet a chick you like her, just go from A to B to C. Don't think ahead to R. We'll take a break, we'll be back. Hey ho, Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Drew. Drew is in Tampa, Florida tonight. He's doing the Grand Rounds tomorrow.

1:11:24 Drew Yes, sir.

1:11:25 Adam At the hospital, that means it's like you're the guest.

1:11:28 Drew At the Bayfront Medical Center. It's an item up at 98 Rock.

1:11:31 Adam And the Grand Rounds, again, is it's almost like the general inspecting the troops, right?

1:11:39 Drew No, it's more like a State of the Union address.

1:11:43 Adam I see.

1:11:43 Drew You know what I'm saying?

1:11:44 Adam Do you make the rounds?

1:11:46 Drew No, no. It's just a lecture.

1:11:47 Adam There's no touring of the hospital.

1:11:50 Drew Traditionally, a case is presented and then you comment on the case and then you give your lecture.

1:11:55 Adam Right.

1:11:56 Drew But I don't think there will be any cases presented.

1:11:58 Adam Right. Well, you're just a loved doctor anyway.

1:12:00 Drew You know that, of course.

1:12:03 Caller Yes?

1:12:03 Adam You're 32?

1:12:04 Caller Right.

1:12:05 Adam What's up?

1:12:06 Caller I have a question for Dr. Drew. Okay. My son came home today from school.

1:12:12 Adam Right.

1:12:13 Caller He was acting really funny, like walking into the walls and stuff. He said that he smoked weed.

1:12:18 Adam Weed?

1:12:20 Caller And the way he was acting that and he was crying. He said things are moving around in his bedroom. Everything is spinning. And so if he did smoke a joint, I would think maybe he had something more in it like maybe late or something.

1:12:35 Drew Yeah. It sounds more like he's doing LSD, frankly. So you need to have him evaluated.

1:12:41 Adam Well, wait a second. How old is he? Fourteen.

1:12:46 Drew He's coming home loaded. That's a bad sign.

1:12:49 Adam Well, he's got to come home eventually. But let me, I'm a little bit confused. He came home and you saw he was high?

1:12:59 Caller Well, I was upstairs and he was crying.

1:13:02 Adam So he came home and went into his room.

1:13:05 Caller Right.

1:13:06 Adam And he tried to go to sleep or?

1:13:08 Caller He just laid down in his bed.

1:13:10 Adam And then he started crying.

1:13:12 Caller Well, he came to my door and goes, Mom, Mom, I need you really bad. And I said, what's wrong? He goes, I need to tell you I smoke weed. He goes, but this one here is making me feel really, really funny. I've never felt like this before.

1:13:25 Adam So he was suggesting that he had smoked weed before. This wasn't his first time.

1:13:29 Caller Right.

1:13:31 Drew Yeah, Patty, you got a problem here.

1:13:33 Adam Well, maybe.

1:13:33 Drew Whether or not, I mean, a huge dose of pot can give you hallucinogenic experiences. So it may just be the pot. Kids who smoke a lot of pot also do acid. This sounds like an acid experience.

1:13:44 Adam But Drew, are you saying the problem is that she has a light weight on her hands?

1:13:48 Drew No, that you've got a 14 year old smoking weed every day. That's a big deal.

1:13:52 Adam I see.

1:13:54 Caller I have more to get it from. He said I want to high school kids.

1:13:58 Drew Patty, listen, you need to take him to somebody. Seriously, this is really serious.

1:14:01 Adam Well, hold on a second there, Drew. Is he freaked out? I mean, this may be that good bad trip you always talk about, Drew, where he's like freaked out, scared, never wants to do it again.

1:14:12 Drew That's right. It could be for the LSD, but it's not going to stop the weed. And this could be a medical problem. He needs to be evaluated. He's having an altered mental status. It needs to be evaluated tonight.

1:14:21 Adam Tonight?

1:14:22 Drew You don't screw around with it. You do not screw around with that one.

1:14:24 Adam Drew, you know what time it is in Michigan.

1:14:27 Caller It's 2.33.

1:14:28 Adam Come on, buddy.

1:14:28 Drew Well, I would take him in.

1:14:30 Adam Tonight? Why the guy smoked a little weed? Jesus Christ, he had a bad trip.

1:14:34 Caller Well, he said, well, I'm going to take you to the hospital right now. I'm going to have him pull blood to see. He goes, oh, no, no, no. I was just joking. I was just joking. Oh, no, no. I know. And like, yeah, I was panicking when I said I was going to have a blood test done.

1:14:45 Adam You were going to have a blood test done?

1:14:47 Caller I was going to go to the hospital.

1:14:49 Drew Hey, Patty. Yes? Who's the parent in your household?

1:14:53 Caller I am.

1:14:53 Drew Right? You're the mom. Let's go ahead and do the job. You've got a kid with an altered mental status. He's respecting that he's doing pot-regulate. There's some hallucinogen exposure possibly. You need professional help. At that age, this can have a profound impact on his brain.

1:15:10 Adam What did you grow up? What did he do after you told him about the blood thing? He freaked out and then what?

1:15:18 Caller He freaked out.

1:15:19 Adam Then what did he do?

1:15:21 Caller He went to the kitchen to get something to eat. Then he said, Oh my God, Oh my God, my head feels like there is something in it, a thing in there.

1:15:29 Adam Okay. Well, all right. It's time to bring him in. I'm with Drew now. Here's what I'm hoping will happen. He smoked some weed and then he got, you know, he had been smoking some weed for the last, hopefully short period, got hold of some bad weed or something and freaked out and hopefully is freaked out and will never do it again. But you never know. And I do agree with Drew. Go check it out. But you have to go in tonight, Drew, for Christ's sake.

1:15:56 Drew Listen, if it's meningitis, yeah.

1:16:00 Adam Yeah, but he smoked weed.

1:16:03 Drew Yeah, but if a kid smoking weed and he gets meningitis, he's going to think, hey, I always smoke something bad. He's smoking weed every day anyway. He doesn't know.

1:16:09 Adam He's smoking every day. Oh, he's got a freak in front of mom. Don't lose it in front of your parents, everybody. Catherine?

1:16:15 Caller Yeah.

1:16:15 Adam You're 33?

1:16:16 Caller Yep.

1:16:17 Adam What's up?

1:16:18 Caller I wanted to know if a guy gets hard only when it's anal, is that like some kind of symptom or anything like that? Not symptom, but indication that he's kind of, you know.

1:16:34 Adam That's your policy, isn't it, Drew?

1:16:36 Drew Yes, only.

1:16:37 Adam You only get exclusively hard for anal?

1:16:39 Drew Exclusively.

1:16:40 Adam Right.

1:16:41 Caller Yeah, I mean a little bit for regular intercourse, but...

1:16:44 Adam Right. Well, it's sort of like, I don't know, how do you get it up for burgers when you've been eating filet mignon? I guess. I mean, he gets... He likes anal. Hold on, do I have to translate that, Dr. Drew? No. Meaning he's getting a step beyond for him intercourse. I mean, he loves anal, right? And intercourse to him is like, okay, but he really loves anal. And so you give him anal consistently and he's no longer interested in intercourse.

1:17:19 Caller Okay, I didn't realize it was that much better.

1:17:22 Adam Well, it is for him.

1:17:23 Drew For him. Which already, he's sort of suspect in my book if it's that much better for him.

1:17:30 Adam He likes it a lot, right?

1:17:31 Caller Yeah.

1:17:33 Adam And is that the way you guys do it exclusively?

1:17:36 Caller No.

1:17:36 Adam Right?

1:17:37 Caller Yeah.

1:17:38 Adam And is that the way you guys do it exclusively?

1:17:41 Caller No.

1:17:42 Adam You mix it up every once in a while?

1:17:44 Caller Yeah.

1:17:45 Drew Do you like it that way?

1:17:47 Caller I prefer regular.

1:17:48 Drew Yeah.

1:17:49 Adam Okay. And anything up to make you think this guy is gay other than this?

1:17:54 Caller A little bit.

1:17:55 Adam Like what?

1:17:56 Caller Well, just, you know, he's mentioned a couple of things.

1:18:00 Adam Like what?

1:18:00 Caller He's just been attracted here and there.

1:18:02 Adam To guys? What kind of music does he listen to?

1:18:06 Caller He's got a great taste in music.

1:18:07 Adam Yeah. That's what I worry about. Gays have great taste in music.

1:18:12 Caller Well, I mean, he listens to lots of different stuff.

1:18:15 Adam Yeah. Like what? What was he into?

1:18:16 Caller Well, you know, heavy metal, punk rock, and I mean, it's across the spectrum.

1:18:23 Adam Heavy metal? That's not gay music.

1:18:26 Caller Well.

1:18:27 Adam Yeah. He may not be gay. What does he do for a living?

1:18:30 Drew I, by the way, don't think that anal sex, heterosexual anal sex means anything in terms of sexual preference. No.

1:18:35 Adam It makes you straighter sometimes.

1:18:38 Caller Super male.

1:18:38 Drew Yeah. Except it really suggests to me that a man that has some aggressive feelings about women, unless it's something that you as a couple prefer, both of you.

1:18:47 Caller I don't know. What?

1:18:48 Adam Wait a minute. What does he do for a living?

1:18:51 Caller Well, I don't want to say.

1:18:53 Adam Okay. Does he work with his hands?

1:18:56 Caller He's, you know, professional.

1:18:58 Adam Works with his brain?

1:18:59 Caller Yeah.

1:18:59 Adam Could be gay. Really? Yeah. A lot of gay guys do that thinking for a living.

1:19:05 Caller I want to hear what Drew has to say.

1:19:07 Adam Listen everybody. Do you guys listen to this show? Haven't I proven that I'm smarter than Drew? Do you guys understand that?

1:19:14 Caller You're funnier.

1:19:17 Adam Through the last six times we've bet, who's been right?

1:19:20 Drew Yeah, I've been the slump.

1:19:22 Adam Who's been right?

1:19:22 Drew You.

1:19:23 Adam You.

1:19:24 Drew You my master.

1:19:25 Adam How does that work? Drew is rarely right. So Catherine, nobody knows. What's up with you though? You want to stick around with this nut job?

1:19:35 Caller Well, probably not.

1:19:37 Adam Are you married to him? Nope. How long have you been with him?

1:19:40 Caller Six months.

1:19:42 Adam Maybe it's time to finish this one off.

1:19:44 Caller So to speak. All right.

1:19:46 Adam Well, I mean, are you that in love with him?

1:19:48 Caller No, not really.

1:19:49 Adam He's kind of a weird dude, right?

1:19:51 Caller No. I mean, he's a good guy. But I was just curious about that because nobody else really knows.

1:19:57 Adam Well, you're not gay if you like anal sex with a woman at all. But you are gay if you keep talking about how attractive guys are. So, throw out the anal sex part and just focus on whatever other signals he's given you.

1:20:14 Caller All right.

1:20:14 Adam All right. But it doesn't sound like you're crazy about the guy.

1:20:17 Caller No, I was just mostly curious.

1:20:19 Caller All right. All right.

1:20:21 Adam Thank you.

1:20:22 Drew Bye-bye. Good times.

1:20:24 Adam It is a common thing that women think and it makes sense, doesn't it? The ass thing?

1:20:31 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:20:31 Adam On paper? But I agree with you, Drew, that it could be nothing further from the truth.

1:20:36 Drew Right. The little super male.

1:20:37 Adam Yeah. You're straighter if you're into the anal sex as a heterosexual male. That's right. Part of really being a good heterosexual male is hating women.

1:20:47 Drew Oh my God.

1:20:48 Adam It's true. Jeremy?

1:20:49 Caller Yeah.

1:20:50 Adam How's the guitar going?

1:20:51 Caller It's going great. I'm working hard at it.

1:20:53 Adam What can you play us?

1:20:55 Caller Not a damn thing. I'm just starting.

1:20:57 Adam Oh, okay.

1:20:58 Adam What's up then buddy?

1:20:59 Caller I picked up the guitar at 26.

1:21:00 Adam Bill Buckner came up with the Dodgers, Adam.

1:21:02 Adam Why not? What's that?

1:21:03 Caller Bill Buckner came up with the Dodgers, Adam.

1:21:05 Adam I know.

1:21:05 Caller Oh, you know that now?

1:21:07 Adam Well, I sort of knew it when I originally said wasn't he with the Dodgers, but then Drew sat there quietly and like an idiot just because Drew grew up in Los Angeles and his grew up, how far is the crow flies from Dodger Stadium? Say about six or seven miles, Drew?

1:21:26 Caller Seven miles.

1:21:27 Adam Seven miles and that since Buckner played from 69 to 76 when you were what age? Age 11 or something.

1:21:35 Drew Here's the reality. I saw zero Dodger games from 69 to 76.

1:21:40 Adam I know, but understand what goes through my feeble mind, which was Drew in 1969 you were 10 years old or something.

1:21:47 Drew Yeah.

1:21:48 Adam Do you realize so Buckner played in your home city for your home team from the time you were 10 to the time you were like 17 or 18 and I figured you would just have to know.

1:21:59 Drew Alright. Who else was on the team? Ron Say, Bill Russell, Davey Lopes.

1:22:04 Adam That's again why I assumed you would know.

1:22:10 Drew I know those guys run that team.

1:22:11 Adam Thank you. Anyway, Jeremy, that's why I didn't pursue it much further because when Drew said he didn't know I figured he wasn't.

1:22:19 Caller Well, you should know if he was that close to Dr. Statham.

1:22:22 Adam Yeah, that's true. Go ahead, smartest guy in the world. Go ahead, Jeremy.

1:22:26 Caller At my bank, there's a bank teller and I kind of want to ask her out, but I'm not really sure how to go about asking somebody out where they work at. I don't even know if it's a good idea or not.

1:22:37 Adam It's a fine idea, but it's weird. It's tough.

1:22:40 Caller Yeah, it's tough.

1:22:40 Drew That's what I'm saying. I think the approach is to ask if she has a boyfriend.

1:22:46 Caller Yeah, well, I have that and there's no boyfriend.

1:22:50 Adam How do you know you get her? Do you slow down in line and let people go in front of you and stuff?

1:22:54 Caller The nice thing is she works the drive-thru, so...

1:22:56 Adam I see.

1:22:57 Caller Yeah.

1:22:58 Adam I see.

1:23:01 Drew She's a captive audience. You should be able to work something in.

1:23:05 Adam You've asked her if she had a boyfriend and she said no.

1:23:08 Caller She said no, yeah.

1:23:09 Drew You're three-quarters of the way with that.

1:23:11 Adam Let me tell you something, Jeremy. If you ask a girl if she has a boyfriend and she's not interested, she says yes almost every time.

1:23:22 Drew No matter what.

1:23:22 Caller Yeah, yeah.

1:23:24 Adam No, once in a blue moon you'll catch a chick like Off Guard or Who's Not Thinking or She's Stupid and they'll just answer honestly because her boyfriend and then broke up two months ago. They'll say no. But 95% of the time you ask a chick she's got a boyfriend, she says no, that means it's time to ask them out.

1:23:41 Caller Time to ask them out, so I just go for it, don't I?

1:23:43 Adam Just go for it. And the great news is you're in your car.

1:23:47 Drew Yeah, you can drive off.

1:23:48 Adam The worst case, the worse scrubs the worse, you just punch it.

1:23:51 Caller Exactly.

1:23:52 Caller It changed banks, of course.

1:23:54 Adam Yeah, just keep driving.

1:23:55 Caller Right, right, yeah.

1:23:56 Adam I mean, just...

1:23:56 Drew But your three-core is the way there. You sort of, you tested the waters, you're going your own way.

1:24:00 Adam What kind of car do you drive though? Because that could be tough, you know. You pull up an old Dodge Dart.

1:24:06 Caller I'd probably stall it, actually.

1:24:07 Drew What is it? Adam, she said no boyfriend in that car.

1:24:10 Adam I know, but no, I'm not getting at acceleration here. I'm getting at, if she sees a guy pull up in a, you know, 7077 Renault Alliance with a rusted out trunk pan, she ain't going to be into it. Now, what are you driving?

1:24:29 Caller I'm driving an 86 miles per hour.

1:24:30 Drew Yeah, but she said no boyfriend in that car.

1:24:33 Adam Can you borrow your dad's car or something?

1:24:37 Caller No, no. My dad drives a rusted out car.

1:24:41 Adam Yeah, I got one of those loser dads, too.

1:24:43 Caller Yeah, you're going to be bold.

1:24:44 Adam My dad did that until I started leasing him a nice car.

1:24:48 Drew Whatever he's doing is working, let him keep going down that path.

1:24:51 Adam Alright, just ask her out.

1:24:53 Caller Just straight up ask her out? Don't ask her phone number, nothing like that, just straight up ask her out.

1:24:58 Adam Just say you want to get some coffee sometime.

1:25:00 Drew Okay.

1:25:01 Adam You know, you get out. She's seen you around there a few times.

1:25:04 Caller Oh yeah, I've seen her every week.

1:25:05 Adam And she's like got your name and number on file and social security and stuff. She's not too freaked out.

1:25:11 Caller Okay.

1:25:12 Adam Just say what time the bank closes, like 3.30, 4 o'clock, how about I come by and we get some coffee?

1:25:16 Caller Yeah, that's what I'm thinking about doing. Alright.

1:25:18 Adam Just go ahead, go for it buddy.

1:25:20 Caller Alright.

1:25:20 Drew He calls back.

1:25:21 Adam Yeah, you got it.

1:25:23 Caller I appreciate it.

1:25:23 Adam Yeah, I'll call you back. Do it tonight. Oh no. Okay, wait till tomorrow. That's right. Probably not open. Alright, let's take a little break here, Dr. Drew, let's say. And then we'll be back after this.

1:25:35 Caller Hello, this is your radio.

1:25:37 Caller Radio, Loveline will be right back.

1:25:41 Caller Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew, live 105.

1:25:55 Adam Hey, hey, hey, it's my theme. Yeah. My theme song, baby. Jacket's slung over the shoulder. Doing that move where I look over the top of my sunglasses when I recognize somebody. You know that move where I lean forward and I give them, give them the gun, where I hold my finger around, I give them the trigger, pow. Keep moving, though. That's the whole thing about me. I keep moving. I don't stop because I stop, man. That's when you gather barnacles. You know what I'm saying? You got to keep rolling. You'll gather moss.

1:26:30 Caller All right. Right, baby?

1:26:32 Adam Jacket over the shoulder bartender knows just what I want. I just put my hand down on the barn, just come sliding all the way across. And I do that thing right. Pull like a Susan B. Anthony $2 thing out. I just flip it to him and it goes in slow motion and lands in his upper chest pocket of his shirt. Oh, wait a minute. Hey, man, this was high school, man. This ain't me now. Thank you. No, that's not my song. Let's burn some calls here. What do you say, Drew? Yeah, that's my song. What the hell happened there, Drew? I just punched up line three.

1:27:13 Drew Oh, you did?

1:27:13 Adam Oh, I punched up line five.

1:27:17 Adam Chuck?

1:27:17 Caller Yes?

1:27:18 Adam You're thirty-six. You recently quit smoking pot.

1:27:22 Caller Yup. I've been smoking it for every day for about the last thirteen years.

1:27:27 Adam When did you quit?

1:27:29 Caller I quit about a week ago but I called the other day to talk to you guys and ended up smoking one. Yeah, okay. But being straight is fine when I'm awake but when I go to sleep I can't sleep for nothing.

1:27:42 Drew That's going to go on for a few months even possibly. The other thing that can happen is you have to be very careful. You can get a real serious depression. So you ought to be sort of followed. If you're a twelve-year pot smoker and it stops suddenly, first of all you're very likely to switch over to something else if you don't want to.

1:28:00 Caller Well, I've been through all that years ago. I'm done with all that.

1:28:03 Adam How about taking a handful of melatonin or something before you go to bed? I know it's nothing but Dr. Bruce told me once that if you took like seven billion milligrams of it, it worked. And so now I literally, when I go to bed, I take like fourteen melatonin.

1:28:20 Drew Do you really?

1:28:21 Adam Yeah. Drew, you can tell me what that's doing to me later on. But I literally just take a handful of them. And it does help. All right.

1:28:30 Adam We'll get the program.

1:28:31 Adam Two or three doesn't seem to do it, but fourteen does.

1:28:34 Drew You can try Benadryl. Take fifteen milligrams of Benadryl at bedtime.

1:28:36 Adam That will help.

1:28:37 Drew But again, you might want to be followed by somebody who can really monitor this with you and use some pharmacologic help if that's appropriate. Some of the trazodones are helpful sometimes.

1:28:45 Adam Yeah. And Drew, what about that melatonin? Does that work? Am I killing myself?

1:28:51 Drew Oh, sure.

1:28:52 Adam Okay. Hey, Eddie?

1:28:54 Caller Yeah.

1:28:54 Adam You're thirty-six.

1:28:55 Caller Yeah. I want to talk to you, Adam. You know, when somebody calls in and they want to go and answer from Dr. Drew, why don't you just be quiet and let them answer?

1:29:02 Adam All right.

1:29:04 Caller Let them get his point out and then you can go back on your rampage, you know?

1:29:06 Adam All right. What's your point?

1:29:08 Caller My point is, let them answer the question sometimes. Some people call me and they want an answer for it.

1:29:13 Adam You are an asshole.

1:29:14 Adam All right.

1:29:14 Caller Exactly. Like the guy I called in the other night and you played that dumb rock, Rockolla, that's stupid.

1:29:20 Adam Drew, that asshole is for you, Adam.

1:29:21 Caller It's stupid, you know?

1:29:23 Adam Do you want them to answer your question or not?

1:29:25 Caller You get to the point where you are obnoxious as that girl on Channel 11, Julian Barbary. You know, she is really obnoxious sometimes and you are getting to that point.

1:29:32 Adam All right.

1:29:33 Caller I listen to you guys constantly.

1:29:34 Adam Drew, go ahead, man. Well, let them answer your question then.

1:29:38 Caller Well, I don't have a question. I'm just going to call to talk to you to say when people call and they want a question, they want an answer.

1:29:43 Adam I thought you wanted... Who hung up on him? I thought he had a question for you, Drew. I thought that was his whole point. Who hung up on him?

1:29:51 Drew Did you hang up on him?

1:29:53 Adam Oh, he hung up. I didn't hang up on him. Neil? Yeah. You're 17. What's up?

1:29:58 Caller Hey, man. I just got to say right off the bat, man, you're the man, okay? I was just so... I got a little problem with me, and I figured I'd call the man and ask him to provide me.

1:30:06 Drew Adam, the critics agree.

1:30:08 Adam That's right.

1:30:09 Caller Anyways, my buddy Travis, he went out with this chick named Amber, and I guess she's really into me, you know, is that the deal? And...

1:30:19 Drew He used to go out with her?

1:30:20 Caller Yes, he went out with her for like seven months.

1:30:22 Drew Until when?

1:30:24 Caller Until just about a week ago.

1:30:27 Drew Are they really broken up?

1:30:28 Caller Yes. Yes, he knows her. He's going out with a different chick now, and she's over him, type of deal.

1:30:32 Drew Why don't you ask him if it's okay if you date her?

1:30:34 Adam Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Did he dump her?

1:30:36 Caller Yes, he did.

1:30:37 Adam If he dumps her, it's probably okay. And he's going out with somebody else?

1:30:42 Caller Yeah, but you see, the thing is, I hang out with him like all the time, and I don't want to...

1:30:45 Drew Yeah, I still think you owe it to him to bring it up. Ask him. If he gives you his blessing, then game on.

1:30:50 Caller Okay.

1:30:50 Adam Do you...

1:30:51 Caller Even if he does, you know, we're really great friends, and I mean, even if he does say, you know, yeah, that's cool if you go out with her, I mean, I don't know if he's told me the truth or he's just...

1:30:59 Drew Well, but that's up to him to tell you the truth. If he doesn't tell you the truth and he really does bother him, that's his own fault for not being honest.

1:31:07 Adam Yeah, you gave him the opportunity. But he dumped her, which is very important. There's a huge difference between her breaking his heart and him moving on. Number two, he's with a chick. And number three, is she into you?

1:31:21 Caller Yeah, big time. She's like, well, if you ask me, I'll go out with you. You know, it's just like, okay.

1:31:25 Adam And number four, why don't you give it another like one week to two weeks of a cool off period? Wouldn't you say, Drew?

1:31:34 Drew Yeah, it'll work in your behalf as far as this Amber girl goes to.

1:31:38 Adam Yeah. So tell her, I'll tell you what, why don't you whisper to her that you're interested, but tell her, let's take a couple weeks off. Just don't do anything for like two weeks. Then bring it up to him in two weeks. It'll be cool.

1:31:48 Drew Don't tell her why you're taking that time off. Keep the mystery up.

1:31:52 Adam Oh, really?

1:31:53 Drew Right?

1:31:55 Adam Well, yeah, but isn't she going to kind of know or going to want to know if you say, give it a couple of weeks? That'll get her more enticed anyway. If you say to a chick, hey, listen, you know, hey, I like you, I mean you're okay, but this guy's my bro and we're pretty good friends and out of respect for him, I think I'll give it another few weeks. She'd just go right through her panties. Her panties would just explode. Wouldn't they, Drew? I mean, don't women go nutty for that stuff? Like they always complain about guys acting like guys and acting like pigs, but the second a guy says, eh, slow down, I don't want to have sex just yet, they go berserk.

1:32:34 Drew Yes, yes.

1:32:34 Adam So that'll work for you. All right, we're going to take a little break. Drew, why don't you get out of here?

1:32:39 Drew I am. Okay.

1:32:40 Adam I'll be back to wrap up and wrap down after this.

1:32:57 Caller You know what I'm saying, I'm dead?

1:33:03 Caller Love Line, with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew, live, 105. Love Line, with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew, live, 105.

1:33:22 Adam Hey, everybody.

1:33:24 Caller Well, that's it.

1:33:24 Adam Another fantastic Love Line week, safely deep in the ground. I want to thank Tara. Don't call me Tara. Oh, boy. Doing a great job on the phones all week. Damian for putting up a lot of crap and doing a great job on the phones. Lauren for wrangling her dog and looking after the phones at some point this week. Producer Anne for booking a bunch of great guests. She's really been on a roll the last few weeks and it's going to continue on through next week. So I want to thank Producer Anne for putting her feminine thing on the show. And of course, the magic-fingered one, Anderson for sliding those potentiometers down and making us sound so smart. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:34:13 I have to leave at this point. This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, November 1, 2001