Episode 1000754886858

1:08 Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline Coast-to-Coast.

1:13 Drew I debilitate myself very quickly after all the smoking, the drinking and the narcotics I do. Hey, congratulations to the Diamondbacks and our good buddy Luis Gonzalez.

1:25 Adam Whatever.

1:27 Drew We don't, well, actually Drew doesn't toot his own horn very often on the show. I toot my own horn quite a bit, but it's really always kind of empty because I'm doing it myself. So I just look like a jackass. But as we have mentioned it before, but it's been a while when I did that what, and Drew did that Celebrity Dodgers baseball game. I think it was about two, two and a half years ago when I got thrown off of the team I was on because my pussy manager wouldn't put me in the game.

2:01 Adam Right.

2:02 Drew What's his name again?

2:03 Adam I'm not going to tell you. Whatever.

2:05 Drew All right. Gerardi? Velardi. Velardi. Jack Gelardi. Is that his name? Pussy. Kiss my ass. Oh, you're big time.

2:15 Adam Come on. Come on. Let's get to the story part of this.

2:17 Drew Big time pussy.

2:19 Adam The story is, so you were over there at my...

2:21 Drew Yeah, you're a big executive. Everyone kisses your ass. Well, kiss my hairy ass, you little guinea. Anyway, where was I?

2:28 Adam You were talking about Louis Gonzalez coming out of the dugout to greet him.

2:30 Drew Yeah, I went over to the other dugout and the Dodgers were playing the Diamondbacks that night or that day and Luis Gonzalez made a special trip. Luis, by the way, who hit the hit that won the World Series in the seventh game for the Diamondbacks, he came out. He was like excited. He really was a big Loveline fan, this guy. Now, I know what ants think, and that means we'll get him on the show.

2:55 No, he'll never come on the show.

2:56 Adam He invited us to come down there, though, remember?

2:58 Drew Yes. Nobody who's above a C-level celebrity who's a big fan of the show will ever come on this show. Now, we do get A-celebrities on this show, but they're not fans of the show. I don't know how this works. It does happen from time to time. I run into people who would be considered A-celebrities who tell me they're big fans of this show, who approach me, but they will never be on the show. Only the A-celebrities haven't heard of this show.

3:24 Adam But do you remember the real irony of this story? There's a little irony in there.

3:27 Drew Well, let me finish this story.

3:28 Hi, this is Jon Favreau.

3:30 Drew That's right. That's the kind of A-celebrity we get. Luis came out. He was really like a kid talking to... He was really like what we should have been talking to him. He insisted we wait. He wanted to get pictures with us.

3:45 Adam That picture still sits on my son's wall.

3:47 Drew It does.

3:48 Adam Yeah, I have that picture still.

3:49 Drew He then... Oh, he didn't do this for you, Drew. I don't believe it.

3:52 Adam We were together and that took the picture.

3:54 Drew He sent me the pictures and wanted me to autograph them and send it back to him.

3:58 Adam Oh, that's right.

3:59 Drew Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So, and he's just really a really nice guy. Couldn't have happened to a nice guy. Did you watch a game today?

4:07 Adam That was great. I was pulling for them too. But you're missing the irony of this story.

4:10 Drew Yes, give me the irony.

4:11 Adam You're not remembering this, obviously.

4:13 All right.

4:13 Drew Well, I just...

4:13 Adam You inflated with the notion that Louis Gonzalez was interested in me.

4:16 Drew But listen, Jack Hole, I wanted to just explain to everybody what went down, the pictures and all that.

4:22 They don't know that.

4:22 Adam We walked away and I went, How's that? He went, I think he's going to be... He's one of the big sluggers on their team. I think there's a little chatter about him. Remember that? Neither of it really was. That's the irony.

4:36 Drew Well, first off, this is the Diamondbacks two and a half years ago. So they had only been around for two years. Number two, I think I'm more of a football. I probably know more football and basketball than I do baseball.

4:49 Adam It's actually because of my sons I've run into baseball.

4:51 Drew Luis is still, at least two or three years ago, a fairly young player and quite made his mark. He didn't have the kind of season that he had this year, 57 home runs and hitting the game-winning hit in the World Series. So our hats off to the Diamondbacks and our friend Luis Gonzalez for having a great series.

5:15 Adam My hands are a little puffed up tonight.

5:17 Drew No, no, the Diamondbacks won the seventh game of the World Series in the most exciting series of the last 50 years. The guy, the MVP for the Diamondbacks, hit MVP. Well he did for the year, I'm sure. I don't know that for sure. Hit the game-winning hit in the ninth inning. And that just happens to be the guy who came up and is a big fan of our show. But you're right, we did talk about it for almost two minutes and we should move on.

5:46 The 14 year old, stone, female listeners don't care.

5:49 Drew That's right. Thank you Anderson.

5:52 Jackass.

5:54 Jared?

5:55 Yes.

5:55 Drew You're 23?

5:57 Caller Yes.

5:57 Drew What's up?

5:58 Caller Well actually two things. First thing, just recently I bought one of those things that advertise on TV and the radio, one of those penis pumps. I spent like $500, got like the best one.

6:10 Drew Wait a minute, they advertise on TV?

6:12 Caller No, actually I heard this one on the radio, on the old radio station actually.

6:16 Caller I'm proud.

6:19 Caller Anyway, I got this thing and it's, you know, you put it, you know, it's got this like tube or whatever, and you put it on there for like 20 minutes and it's got a vacuum pump or whatever, and like the skin underneath the head filled up with like blood or something, it gets all swollen. And I don't know if that means it's working or what, and it gets kind of sore.

6:40 Drew Well, how much was it?

6:41 Caller $500.

6:42 Drew No, it wasn't $500.

6:44 Caller Yes, it really was.

6:45 Adam There must be expensive ones out there.

6:47 Caller Yeah, Dr. Joe Kaplan.

6:50 Drew Yeah, you see, it wasn't $500. Jared, you fax us a... We don't have any fax paper in the fax machine. They stopped...

6:59 Adam Email?

7:00 Drew They stopped... Do you have a receipt for this thing? I'd like to see it.

7:04 Caller Yeah, I really do.

7:04 Drew You do?

7:05 Caller It came with a big, like actual vacuum pump, I mean, not like just a hand thing.

7:11 Drew For $500, it should have come with a Vietnamese whore. $500.

7:17 Caller Yeah, I saw it kind of got ripped off. I saw it in a magazine that day.

7:19 Adam What's your question? What is your question?

7:21 Caller Well, the question is that, I mean, these things actually work? No, not really.

7:26 Adam Well, I just started thinking to myself, what if you put it on your tongue? I mean, it would work?

7:31 Drew I don't know.

7:32 Caller I mean, I'm not a...

7:33 Adam You know what I mean, or your earlobe? I guess it might be a little bit...

7:36 Caller I've heard about it so many times, that's why I figured maybe they do it.

7:39 Adam Suddenly, here's what I see, is that people are making a lot of money on these things and men are somehow vulnerable to this all of a sudden. It means something that men are preoccupied enough suddenly that they're buying all these things. You know what I'm saying?

7:51 Drew Recently.

7:52 Adam Yeah.

7:52 Drew You know what I think it is? What do you think of this? There have been all these products lately for women about enlarging their bust size, these pills and these creams and these suction devices, not to mention plastic surgery. Don't you think this is just men's sort of counterpunch to that? Thinking we've got to take it in our own hands, pardon the pun, and do something? You know what I'm talking about?

8:17 Adam Yeah, I know the feeling of wanting to change one's genetic endowment, to give an edge.

8:21 Drew The feeling of being able to do it, I think, is something that's frustrating, not to feel like you can do.

8:28 Adam Yeah, yeah.

8:29 Drew Hey Jared? Yeah?

8:31 Adam It's the idea that we can that makes it possible for men to begin thinking that way. They should be able to change these things, right?

8:39 Drew The idea that we can is a $10 billion a year industry, everything from supermodels coming out with videos about how to look like them by putting cucumber slices on your eyes at night and doing step aerobics in the morning, to penis enlargers and creams to enlarge your breasts. None of it works, but we need to feel like we can do something. It's our form. You know what it is? It's a form of spiritualism for atheists. I mean, that's what God is, right? Because hey, if you don't think there's a God, then you freak out and you don't know what to do.

9:14 Adam Oh boy.

9:15 Drew You freak out.

9:15 Adam You start trying to enlarge your penis then. But listen.

9:17 Drew If you don't think you can enlarge your small penis, what do you do? You kill yourself.

9:22 Adam I was looking at some women's magazines the other day and I thought to myself, what is it they see in these? It's similar to the same topic, which is I started looking at these pictures. It's all these pictures of these supermodels engaged in these glamorous activities.

9:33 Drew Right.

9:34 Adam I think they look at that and think, oh, that's me doing this, oh, that's me doing that, oh, that must feel great when they do that. Men don't think that way when they look at that stuff. They think about doing something to the picture. You know what I'm saying?

9:45 Drew Right.

9:45 Adam It's not like me in that picture. It's-

9:47 Drew They are putting a hole in the picture and actually raping the magazine. Plus, the models, they really have to be amongst the most tortured people in the world.

9:56 Adam Why is that?

9:57 Drew Well, I mean, they're constantly freaked out about what they look like.

10:02 Caller Yeah.

10:02 Drew Half of them are strung out on drugs, and then the rest just have a bunch of rich Arab guys paying them to walk around their apartments.

10:11 Adam Except for that, it's a great life, huh?

10:12 Drew Yeah.

10:13 Caller Yeah.

10:13 Drew All right. Was he done?

10:14 Caller Yeah.

10:15 Drew Mike?

10:16 Yeah.

10:17 Drew You're 26?

10:18 Caller Yeah.

10:18 Drew What's up?

10:20 Caller I don't want to mislead you guys and get some weird answer, but I'm just trying to basically figure out where I'm going wrong and what I need to do. Because it feels like when me and all my friends go out, it's like in a way it's like I miss doing the homework and the exam is, you know what I'm saying? What? It's like I miss doing the homework and the exam is coming, you know?

10:48 Drew You didn't study.

10:49 Adam You screw up. You screw up when you go out.

10:50 Caller Everybody's got some thing they do, but it's like me, I don't have any good examples.

10:55 Adam I'm confused.

10:56 Caller I was raised by my mom.

10:58 Drew He can't meet women.

10:59 Caller Yeah, pretty tough.

11:01 Adam What is after the exams?

11:03 Drew He just butchered an analogy.

11:05 Adam Yeah, I guess.

11:06 Drew See, they're not as easy as you think.

11:07 Adam Oh, man.

11:09 Drew He said homework. I mean, he didn't study for the exam. That is Friday night.

11:14 Adam I see. He doesn't know how to perform.

11:16 Drew He didn't do his legwork.

11:17 Caller All the relationships that I do have just basically end up in ruins.

11:21 Adam You know how I'm going to retire to my head as I go, he didn't study for the exam. He went out and he screwed up. He didn't study that night. He should have studied to stay at home. Oh my God.

11:32 Drew Hey, Mike. Well, listen, you have that... You have the stink of desperation on you and women can't stand that.

11:40 Adam But he's 26. Shouldn't that be...

11:42 Drew Bearing off?

11:43 Caller That's why I'm so desperate, man, because I'm 26.

11:45 Adam Well, here's why it usually tapers off.

11:46 Caller I think I'm doing everything right.

11:47 Adam No, no, I don't think so, Mike, because the reason that the desperation tapers off around 26 is you start having a life. You start stop obsessing about these things so much because you have other priorities. Magically, this element, this part of your life takes care of itself.

12:02 Drew All you can do... Let me put it this way. There are a handful of guys who can successfully focus on getting women and sort of make that into a job and it actually works. No other guys hate these guys because we always can tell, you know, these pusses.

12:20 Adam And they're like 1% of the whole.

12:23 Drew But they actually can focus their line of BS on scoring women, whether it's just an attitude, a style, a BS, a dress, whatever it is, it works. And it works for them. But for all the rest of us, the best way to get chicks, don't focus on chicks. Focus on your career.

12:42 Adam That's it.

12:42 Drew Focus on a bunch of other stuff that's cool, and then chicks come find you. Just instead of, it's like if you have a company, see here's gonna be one of mine now, stop buying billboard space and start delivering a good product and let people come to you. Because people just drive right past those billboards. They'll see them and keep driving. You might get a couple of phone calls, but nothing will come of it. Start delivering a serious product, then you got word of mouth. So what I'm saying is bang the bejesus out of every woman you meet, she'll then tell her friends. Now just work on your career, then you get secure, you get some nice clothes, you get a nice place, you get a nice car. And it's not the car, it's the way you feel when you drive a car like that, that you've earned with your own money.

13:29 Adam That's right.

13:30 Drew That women like.

13:31 Adam That's right.

13:31 Drew Thank you, Drew. That's why I got a bunch of nice cars. Piper?

13:38 Yeah.

13:39 Adam That's your toys.

13:40 Drew Those are my toys.

13:42 Hello.

13:43 Drew We got to get Tom Vu on this show. And find out when Tom Vu is going to be paroled. And let's get him on this show.

13:49 Adam No, no, not Minka, Tom Vu.

13:51 Drew Oh, I'll tell you, I went to the car wash yesterday and cleaned out, you know, you always clean out a bunch of loose papers in your car and throw them in the trunk. I found the piece of paper that came with my Tom Vu tape the guy sent me. And it had a Tom Vu quote. Tom Vu is this real estate guy who I'm in love with and now Drew shares my love for him. And it said, this is, some people call this just another get rich quick scheme. Do you want to get rich slow scheme?

14:25 Adam Who wants to get rich slow?

14:26 Drew Right. That was based on paraphrasing, but that's Tom's approach to life.

14:31 Adam Oh my God.

14:31 Drew Piper?

14:32 Yeah, I'm here.

14:33 Drew What's up there?

14:34 Hi. Dr. Drew, I heard you talk a couple of weeks ago at Carleton.

14:39 Adam Oh, where are you now?

14:41 I'm actually at home because I'm doing a genetics research. I'm working in HLA for a term. I was going to graduate early, but so now I'm doing this.

14:49 Adam Carleton College is college as God intended it, as your dean of students says. That is so beautiful up there.

14:55 Drew Where is Carleton College?

14:56 Adam It's up above Minneapolis.

14:58 It's in Northfield, Adam. Have you heard of that place? I had never heard of it before.

15:03 Adam It's really one of the great schools. I went to a school just like-

15:05 Drew Who names their place Northfield? Are you all out of names at that point? Is there nobody famous? Tell me about it. I mean, how does that pass the vote that they have?

15:16 Adam They happen to be tilling the soil down in Southfield and somebody sets up a new town north there. Northfield.

15:24 Drew Why don't you just call yourself like Villeberg? What kind of generic, it's really Northfield is just something out of some cartoon from the 50s or some sitcom from the 50s. You don't know what the name of town.

15:41 Adam So Piper.

15:41 Drew All right. Sorry.

15:42 Adam What's going on?

15:43 Caller Northfield.

15:44 I'm pre-med with a math major and I've got all this stuff going on and I'm at home right now doing a genetics internship. My boyfriend's in Minnesota and like I started dating him right after I came to school and ever since like the first couple of months everything's been going kind of slowing down like sexually and stuff because I just get so worked up about exams, all this pressure with being pre-med that I can't really I don't feel like I can really relax so much.

16:15 Drew Right.

16:15 Adam You can't. That's unfortunate reality.

16:18 Drew Oh, well, she can hold still and have sex.

16:19 Adam Believe it or not, medical school will be a breeze for you. I'm not kidding. It will be. You'll be locked in. You'll be doing what you want to do. That's when you'll be able to take a breath and relax. It's still a ton of work, but by comparison with what you're doing now, it actually will be a step down for you.

16:36 Drew Drew.

16:37 Adam At least for a couple of years.

16:38 Drew Do you believe there's any way for people to get stuff done without scaring themselves into getting things done? Do you know what I'm saying? Like, is that the component?

16:48 Adam You know, at that level of competition, it's-

16:51 Drew Well, see, here you go.

16:52 Adam Well, it's everybody screwing with everybody else.

16:55 Drew But what I'm saying is, is the guys I knew who were bad students, who were all the guys I knew, they were cocky in the sense that the test was Friday morning and it was Thursday night, we're going to go out and get loaded. Who cares? Or, you know, so what? I'll deal with it when I deal with it. They weren't scared of showing up Friday morning ill prepared.

17:20 Adam You need some of that.

17:20 Drew And the people that were good at it, and I noticed this from my, feels like the eternity I've spent with you in my adult life, you use fear as a motivating factor.

17:30 Adam You need, you need.

17:31 Drew We gotta, you know, you create, oftentimes create this scenario where if you walk into a college 30 seconds late, they're gonna ask where the hell you were and send you home for no pay. And that then gets you out of your, that gets you out of your hotel room and in the lobby and then in turn calling my hotel room to get me to buy into your fear factor thing.

17:55 Adam It is the same thing as what you experience in those recurrent dreams where you believe you've walked into a test unprepared or walked out on the stage without having to look at the lines.

18:04 Drew Right, I've never had that, but I know what you're saying.

18:06 Adam Twice a week.

18:08 Drew Right.

18:08 Adam Okay.

18:08 Drew So, that is a real strong component and it ends up being effective, although it's probably unhealthy because then you have trouble shutting it off.

18:18 Adam Well, but then in Piper's case, she's taken to the next level, which is these are people that are sleeping in the lab, they're shutting down the rest of their life to try to get that extra edge.

18:26 Drew So, here's my point, how do you remain an effective student without sort of feeling like you're just operating out of pure fear, or in any facet of life? How do you remain successful and keep that balance, that distance, the perspective?

18:43 Adam I think part of it is learning how to be balanced, learning how to be realistic about yourself and your goals and your abilities, and then still, the way the competition works is you still got to heat it up a little bit. You got to heat it up.

18:54 Drew Well, you got to do your job, you got to do the work, but that work does not have to be driven by fear. It can be driven by pride, or it can be driven by other factors. The fear does not have to be behind it. It doesn't have to be, I'm going to fail and people are going to hate me all the time. There could be, I want to be a great doctor. But it never happens.

19:16 Adam But if I don't do this, I'll fail and people will never see that.

19:19 Drew Right. My dad will take the T-shirt back.

19:21 Adam I don't know if we have to answer Piper's question.

19:23 Drew What's your question? I'm scared to talk to her.

19:26 Adam Okay. So the question is?

19:27 The question is, what can I do to balance that better? Should I mean, I don't feel like I can just blow off an exam in order to spend a little bit more time with my boyfriend and have time to really-

19:39 Drew Sure, you can.

19:40 Adam You can't. No, you can't.

19:41 Drew Well, hold on a second. Drew does this all the time with me. He tells me, I only got $100,000 a kid. They're going to be in college in another 10 years. They're going to need $3 million a year, a semester to go, and he starts spinning himself out. Something I forgot to tell you the other night when we were talking on the phone, which was if your kids didn't get a penny for college, any of the three of your kids, they would be doing better than 99 point something percentage of kids on the planet. Do you know what I'm saying?

20:13 Adam Just by virtue of being prepared.

20:14 Drew Just by virtue of where they grew up, who their parents were, what situation they had, what opportunities they had. If you didn't give them one penny for college, they'd still be in the 99 percentile. Still, easily. So don't freak yourself out so much. Give some of that money to me.

20:31 Adam Piper, I think just paying attention to balance the way you're paying attention to your hard work. Just pay attention.

20:35 Drew Yes. You'll be fine. You'll be a doctor, you'll do well. You may not have the best scores of everyone in your school, but you'll be in the upper percentile.

20:45 Adam Here's what you need to know, and I swear to God in this, anyone that gets through pre-med, even in the middle of the pack at Carleton, we'll do fine at medical school, not pre-med, but we'll do fine medical school, no problem.

20:55 Drew But here's the question, here's the question you've got to ask yourself, are you using this as some sort of excuse to get some distance from this guy?

21:04 Caller Yeah, that's a good question.

21:07 Drew Because I understand you're a dedicated student and everything, but we also know that if you really want to see somebody, you'll figure out a way to see them. Lord knows Drew had a lot of passion to go around when he was at that age.

21:18 Adam Lord knows. I think that fact, again, that tuning into that reality might help you make decisions better. It may not be such a great relationship or something you want to dedicate yourself to. There are other priorities right now.

21:30 Drew Well, especially, yeah, like the school. All right. I like a school that's named after a light cigarette though. I mean, they got my vote over there.

21:38 Adam You didn't ask her if she liked what I did up there. After all, you told me that I would just suck without you, and it would just be an embarrassment. But you told the line for me.

21:46 Drew Yeah, I did. Let's ask her.

21:48 Adam Let's ask her.

21:49 Drew No, listen. No, I told you I did all the work at those speaking engagements.

21:53 Adam Was that okay up at Carlton?

21:55 Caller I love Carlton.

21:57 Adam No, no.

21:58 Drew Thank you, man.

21:58 Adam No, no. Wait, wait. My presentation to you guys up there.

22:01 Caller Oh, yeah. It was great. I was kind of wondering when they asked about, well, first of all, the dreidel song was awesome.

22:07 Adam We sang the dreidel song.

22:08 Drew Oh, you did?

22:09 Adam Yeah, she sang it.

22:10 Drew That's my bit. I deserve a taste of that.

22:12 Adam No, we actually sang it. They're threatening to sing it.

22:13 Caller I sang it.

22:15 Caller But then when somebody asked about where Adam was, you were like, I'm so glad I'm here.

22:22 Drew Oh, how dare you? How dare you? There was a smattering of applause but not an overwhelming applause.

22:30 Adam Standing ovation at that point.

22:32 Caller No, I think we were all kind of shocked because-

22:33 Drew Right.

22:34 Adam Oh, come on.

22:34 Drew That's right.

22:35 Caller Well, Adam, you're kind of mean to Dr. Drew.

22:38 Drew Yeah. Well, he deserves it. Look at him. All right. Let's go back to your books there, Bookworm.

22:45 Adam All right, Viper. Thanks for the call.

22:46 Drew Thank you very much.

22:47 Adam Bye-bye.

22:47 Drew See you in Geekville, baby.

22:50 Adam She's working us. Stirring it up.

22:53 Drew All right. Yeah, I know. Well, she's smart. She knows how to manipulate. The big Hugh Hefner roast is on Comedy Central tonight.

23:03 Adam What time?

23:03 Drew I forgot to tell everybody. Let's start about 24 minutes ago. That's good. Jimmy's hosting. I'll be doing some roasting, Drew Carey and Gilbert Godfrey and guys like that. So you may want to turn that on during the commercials of this show. So until-

23:19 Adam Two minutes from now.

23:20 Drew Two minutes. No, four minutes from now. We'll take a little break and then we'll be back with Sarah's 15 after this.

23:27 Loveline, we'll be right back.

24:03 Drew Hey, everybody, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Fuel's going to be in here tomorrow night. When was fuel in here last? Not too long ago. Eight months? Six months. A year? So it's been almost a year or right around a year?

24:27 Caller That's about right.

24:28 Drew All right. That sounds good. I remember them being good. Anderson knew that one and they're a good band.

24:34 Caller Yeah.

24:35 Drew They've been doing nothing but good things since they've been here last. So we'll talk to them tomorrow night. Sarah?

24:40 Yeah.

24:41 Drew You're 15?

24:42 Caller Yeah.

24:43 Drew What's up?

24:44 Caller I have another question that I forgot to ask the dude that answered the phone. Do you have a number to call for children who are in danger of molestation and stuff?

24:58 Adam Yeah. There you go.

24:59 Drew You got a pen?

25:02 Caller No. Just a second.

25:03 Drew All right. Well, ask your other question and look for a pen while you're asking it.

25:07 Caller Okay. Is it possible to overdose on Zoloft?

25:13 Adam Well.

25:15 Drew What's your plan?

25:16 Adam Yeah. What's going on here?

25:17 Caller Well, I missed like a week of my dosages because I've been really busy working and stuff, and it's hard to remember to take it. And I took three of them the other day, and the lady didn't know if it was possible to overdose on them.

25:35 Adam Not on three pills. You get side effects, but you're not going to overdose.

25:39 Caller Okay.

25:40 Adam And you might talk to your doctor about switching maybe to Prozac possibly.

25:44 Caller Yeah, because it starts with an A. I can't remember what it is.

25:48 Adam Well, be that as it may, there's a once a week Prozac now. You only want to take them once a week, so yeah.

25:53 Drew The pill is the size of a grapefruit.

25:55 Adam Yeah, you just swallow it.

25:56 Drew Yeah.

25:57 Adam It's actually like a billiard ball.

25:58 Drew Yeah, but it's done rectally.

26:02 Caller No.

26:02 Drew No, okay, you're right. I like the kid though, you know?

26:07 Caller Yeah.

26:07 Drew Hey, you got that pen?

26:09 Caller Yeah.

26:09 Drew All right.

26:10 Adam 1-800-422.

26:13 Caller Okay, just a second. It's not working.

26:15 Drew All right.

26:16 Caller I got to get a different one.

26:17 Drew Yeah. Hey, Drew. Yeah. I was like, Sarah, like I had one pen from age, I guess this is something us bad students do, age 11 to age 23, they had like the same pen. Now, I realize, hey, at eight cents a piece, you might as well just get a few, put a couple in the car, a couple upstairs, a couple downstairs. Know what I'm saying? Yeah. Ryan, you're going to give me a speech about toenail clippers too after this.

26:42 Adam Okay.

26:43 Drew Yeah.

26:43 Adam Those should be all around.

26:44 Drew Yeah.

26:45 Adam 1-800-422.

26:49 Caller Just a second.

26:52 Drew So anyway, Drew, these diamond banks.

26:57 Adam 422-4453.

27:01 Caller Okay.

27:01 Adam Why don't you repeat it back to me?

27:03 Caller 1-800-442-4453.

27:06 Adam Nope. Let's do it again.

27:09 Caller Okay.

27:09 Adam 1-800-422.

27:13 Caller Oh, okay.

27:14 Drew Yeah, that's now you're talking about.

27:17 Adam 4453.

27:18 Caller Okay, I got it.

27:19 Adam Repeat it back to me.

27:20 Caller 1-800-422-4453.

27:23 Adam I'm going to give you one more number.

27:26 Drew Drew, hold on a second. Drew, that's plenty. All right. Please. You're the only guy in the world after 15 minutes of the first number, we're going to go into the auxiliary number. That number will serve you fine. Hey, Sarah.

27:37 Caller Yeah?

27:38 Drew Don't write, you know, molestation line in bold print on top of that in case whoever's doing the molesting, you don't want them to find it.

27:49 Caller Well, they...

27:50 Drew Write, write, write Bible Answer Man.

27:53 Caller Okay.

27:53 Drew All on the top. It's always, always a smart move. I think you're calling in, there's a radio show.

27:59 Caller Yeah, I called in a couple, a couple weeks ago about the molestations in Atlanta, Idaho, and...

28:05 Drew Who's, who's doing it? Are you being molested?

28:07 Caller No, my sisters.

28:09 Drew Sisters?

28:10 Caller Yeah, I remember this. Well, my sister, Jennifer, she's 14 and she's being molested by a 22-year-old. Yeah. My sister, Crystal, is molesting a 14-year-old boy. She did it already.

28:21 Drew How old is she?

28:23 Caller She's 20. She just turned 20 four days ago.

28:26 Drew Crystal, by the way, is the Anglo version of Angel. When the Latinas are named Angel, it's always a nightmare. But the white version of Angel, Crystal. So if you meet a Mexican chick named Angel, run the other way, and if you meet a white chick named Crystal, go the other way. If you meet a white chick named Angel, sprint the other direction.

28:52 Adam What about Tiffany or what was the other one?

28:54 Drew Now, bad but not dangerous.

28:56 Adam There's a B.

28:57 Drew Crystal is just albino trash.

28:59 Adam Okay.

29:00 Drew Crystal is actually what it is. It's translucent trash. An Angel is the white trash, brown trash version for the Mexican chicks. Got it. All right. Where are we going here? Nicole?

29:16 Caller Yes.

29:16 Drew You're 18?

29:17 Caller Yes. I have a question. I'm really freaked out. I was going down on a guy and I think he might have an FPD. I think he might have genital warts and-

29:33 Adam I was thinking, women ought to be equipped with those little lights, those little power lights.

29:37 Drew Yeah. Power light necklace.

29:39 Adam Yeah.

29:40 Drew In their mouth. Am I on TV, Ann? Oh, look at me. Hold on. They're looking at me at the roast.

29:48 Adam Is it any good, Ann?

29:49 Caller Yikes. No.

29:50 Drew They hacked it all up.

29:51 Adam Come on.

29:52 Drew Big room, though, huh? Look at all those people. Jesus Christ.

29:56 Caller Hello? Yeah.

29:57 Adam We're waiting to call them.

29:59 Drew Ann is, yeah.

30:01 Adam What are those lights? Those power beam lights, the little ones? It's like a really good look at what's going on down there.

30:05 Drew You can't be waving it around. It's got to come in the form of earrings or a necklace. You see what I'm saying? Yeah.

30:12 Caller Go ahead.

30:13 Caller I'm not very experienced, and so I don't know what it looks like at all.

30:18 Drew Well, did it feel bumpy?

30:20 Caller Yeah, it was bumpy. It was on the top half of his penis, but towards the bottom, like the shaft.

30:28 Adam Were they like regular bumps?

30:31 Caller I don't know.

30:32 Adam I mean, were they symmetrical kind of thing?

30:35 Caller It was in the dark.

30:37 Adam It was toward the base.

30:39 Caller Yes.

30:39 Drew Who's the guy?

30:41 Caller His name is David.

30:43 Drew Oh, Dave. Yeah, Big Dave.

30:47 Caller Well, see, yeah.

30:48 Drew Is it Dave or little Dave Lombardo? Just Dave?

30:54 Caller Yeah.

30:54 Drew David, right.

30:55 Adam All right, Nicole. Those are usually the pearly penile papules down around the base there.

30:59 Caller What's that mean?

31:00 Adam Those are normal, usually.

31:02 Caller Are you sure?

31:03 Adam I'm not sure. I didn't actually see the bumps, but.

31:06 Drew Do you get warts in your mouth?

31:09 Caller Not really.

31:10 Drew You'll be fine. Hey, Nicole, you got that little girl voice. Anyone ever molest you?

31:15 Caller No, I'm 18 and I go to the U of A.

31:18 Drew Everything's good?

31:19 Caller Yeah.

31:20 Adam We were going down there a couple weeks.

31:21 Drew You're fine.

31:21 Adam So to speak.

31:22 Drew You're fine.

31:24 Caller So like I can't get.

31:26 Drew No.

31:26 Adam Yes, you can. You can get all kinds of things that way, but you probably didn't.

31:30 Drew All right.

31:31 Adam And if you want to get checked, that's fine. There's actually a great article on drdrew.com right now, believe it or not, about what you should get checked for and how to decide what to get checked for. It addresses the issue of people coming in and saying, check me for everything, which doesn't make sense. This is a good little article.

31:48 Drew I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. I know you weren't. I was thinking about me on the Comedy Central.

31:52 Adam I know.

31:53 Drew Hugh Hefner Roast, which is on tonight.

31:56 Adam Good times.

31:57 Drew Look, they're smiling in there.

31:59 Adam Well, is that smiling or is that sort of...

32:02 Drew No. Oh, you mean Tara.

32:04 Adam Look at Tara. She's like, oh my God.

32:05 Drew Tara looks concerned. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Yeah.

32:09 Adam She looks kind of sickened in this thing.

32:11 Drew Yeah. Damian laughed. I must have tripped or something. All right. Let's go to line...

32:18 Adam It's like the Bielzabob laugh though.

32:23 Drew Randy's 40. Randy?

32:24 Caller Hey. Love your show, guys.

32:26 Drew Hey. Good.

32:27 Caller Thanks.

32:28 Drew What's up?

32:29 Caller The question is, my wife wants to get an operation for an IUD. I'm kind of hesitant with having to put anything inside her. What do you... What's the problem, if anything, occurred by having to...

32:40 Adam Well, they... It's not really even an operation. It's a simple procedure. They just stick it in there.

32:44 Drew They put it in your arm?

32:45 Adam And... No, no.

32:46 Drew Oh, IUD. Yeah. I'm a little distracted.

32:49 Adam And do you have kids?

32:52 Caller Yeah, I have three.

32:53 Adam Are you done having kids?

32:54 Caller Done having kids.

32:55 Adam Then this is an excellent alternative for her. Excellent. I was reading some data recently that I'm not totally on board with yet, but IUD has had a bad rap over the years because of complications. So traditionally we have not recommended it to women that haven't finished having children, though they're saying now the newer devices are safe.

33:14 Drew They got in touch with the same people that want to work on the egg council about ten years ago. They give them a break. They got too much cholesterol. They're bad for your heart. Then they, now, turns out they're not so bad. It's the same things with these IUDs.

33:30 Adam Basically.

33:30 Drew Especially if you're older and you're done with the kids.

33:32 Adam If you're older than the kids, it's a perfect thing. It's fine.

33:34 Drew It's this weird thing. It looks like one of those AIDS ribbons or something, right?

33:40 Adam Or like a paper clip. Some of them look like a seven.

33:43 Drew Yeah. They just stuff it up in there.

33:47 Adam And it springs out. Spring loads.

33:48 Drew And it opens up and creates essentially like a canopy. Now, it just opens up and like disturbs things.

33:56 Adam Yeah.

33:58 Caller It's bizarre.

33:59 Drew All right. We're going to take a short break and we'll be right back with more of the show. Hey, everybody. Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. It's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LLVE-191. Fuel in here tomorrow night. Let's get back to the phones and speak to Rebecca, 16. Rebecca?

35:00 Caller Yeah?

35:01 Drew What's up?

35:02 Caller Oh, nothing, yeah.

35:04 Drew I'm just hanging.

35:06 Caller Um, yeah, I have one more question that I didn't tell the chick that entered the line.

35:10 Drew Yeah.

35:11 Adam Okay, chick.

35:13 Drew Hold on a second. Something we glossed over. Well, we're making fun of her, but the last call, when she thought the guy may have had an STD, and we said, well, who is this guy? Because what I was trying to figure out is, is he some junkie who's made the rounds, or is he some virgin you plucked up out of the 10th grade?

35:33 Adam Of course she doesn't get that part of the question.

35:34 Drew Who is he? Yeah. He's Dave.

35:36 Adam Yeah. Which, now it's all clear. Now, they gave us a ton of information about him, didn't it?

35:41 Drew Well, when you check the STD Danger Name Chart, you find that Dave comes way down on the list, just below Russell. Dave. That's Dave. Yep. That's what we do for a living. Sorry there, Rebecca. Go ahead.

35:59 Caller I'll forgive you.

36:00 Drew So you didn't tell the chick what?

36:05 Caller It's about my allergies. They're getting really, really horrible. I already went to a doctor and they gave me some medicine. And my drainage is getting so horrible that it's getting in my stomach and I can't eat. I haven't eaten anything in four days.

36:20 Adam You need to get some allergy. You need to see an allergist and get some, maybe some what's called desensitization therapist. There's all kinds of things that can be done for allergies these days.

36:27 Caller It's so horrible because I have trimester exams this week.

36:29 Adam No, no. Do they give you Zyrtec or Allegra or something? What do they give you?

36:33 Caller Take the Allegra.

36:34 Adam All right. Take the Allegra. Do they give you Flownasal spray or Marena cord or something like that?

36:40 Caller No. It just started getting bad last Tuesday.

36:43 Adam Go back and ask for another nasal spray. They'll give you. Don't take the over-the-counter nasal sprays.

36:48 Caller Oh, that's not predicting.

36:49 Adam I know. Do not take that and then ask for a referral to an allergist. Okay?

36:53 Caller All right. Okay. And then the.

36:55 Drew What's wrong with the over-the-counter stuff?

36:57 Adam That's Afrin, those things. They work for about an hour.

37:00 Caller Oh, my dad.

37:01 Adam And then there's a rebound.

37:02 Drew Hold on. Hold on. Rebecca, shut up.

37:05 Adam Then there's a rebound and things get worse. And you really can't use them more than a couple of days.

37:08 Drew I see. All right, Rebecca. Go ahead, baby.

37:11 Caller Okay. Um, okay. Anyways, that's important stuff. There's this guy I've been dating for about two weeks, and he shows interest like 50% of the time, and then like the other 50% of the time, like, he's like, oh, it's only you, like, you know, and like I've lost a lot of friends because he's not high profile at my school. Like, he's not preppy and...

37:35 Adam Sounds like it doesn't treat you very well either, though. That's more important.

37:37 Caller I know he's interested. Like, he shows affection whenever, just like half the time.

37:41 Drew Hold on, hold on. You've lost a lot of friends because he's not high profile?

37:45 Caller Yeah, because like I'm in like the preppy group of my school, like, I'm all with like the jocks and stuff. And this guy's like, like a major like freak. And I really like this guy because he's not like most guys that kiss your ass all the time.

37:59 Drew Right, right. So now the reason you like this guy is because he doesn't really have much enthusiasm for you.

38:05 Caller Right.

38:07 Adam He's not a good guy.

38:07 Drew A little insight into the psyche of women, by the way. And now you have to figure out a way to get this guy to get excited about you. But that's the only thing he's got. So why should he?

38:18 Caller Well, I mean, I'm close to living forward toward it. But I'm like...

38:21 Adam Rebecca, why do you have to be with a guy who doesn't want to be with you?

38:24 Caller Well, I know he wants to be with me.

38:25 Adam No, no, no, he doesn't. No, he doesn't. If he wanted to be with you, he'd be with you.

38:30 Drew Or he's tapped into the fact that Rebecca is sort of tantalized by that. Tantalized by that.

38:38 Adam But that kind of guy, that kind of guy, though, I mean, it's not that he's not attracted to her, doesn't enjoy spending time with her. He just doesn't want any woman. He would treat any woman like this, basically.

38:48 Drew Probably.

38:48 Adam Yeah. And that's a guy who doesn't want to be with someone.

38:51 Drew Although, Drew, you, being a passionate, passionate, passionate man, who've dated many, many, many women, understand that once in a while, you run into a chick where you go, oh, that's how it's going to be. And you realize that you have to play it a little bit differently.

39:08 Adam At 16.

39:08 Drew No. Crying and masturbating and drinking yoo-hoo. And thinking I was actually going to be a Thunderbird.

39:21 Adam On the roller skating?

39:22 Caller No, one of the claymation shows from the England.

39:27 Drew All right, so Rebecca, you deserve what you get.

39:30 Adam Yeah, that's right. What is it, though, that you need to be with a guy that's not available?

39:34 Caller Well, he is available.

39:35 Adam No, he's not available. He's not available. Not the way you should have available to you.

39:40 Caller Well, the thing is, I just got a big, like, to your relationship, and I don't want to commit imbalance.

39:46 Adam All right, there you go.

39:47 Drew That's why you're here.

39:48 Adam You found a guy who's not going to go for that.

39:50 Caller Well, I mean, I want him to show a little more interest in me.

39:53 Adam Well, it doesn't really go both ways, though.

39:54 Drew You want him to be more interested in you than you are in him.

39:58 Adam Or at least as interested.

40:00 Caller I'm really interested in this guy.

40:01 Adam I know, but he's not interested back to the same.

40:03 Drew Why are you so interested? You don't want anything serious.

40:06 Caller He's interesting. He intrigues me.

40:07 Adam Yeah, but if he weren't so unavailable, he wouldn't be so intriguing. If he were more available, it would spoil it.

40:14 Caller I'm very available.

40:15 Adam Oh, Rebecca.

40:16 Caller Oh, you.

40:17 Drew You must be some kind of good looking, though.

40:20 Caller Well, he said I was perfect.

40:21 Drew You're pretty hot, right?

40:24 Caller Well, I'll try.

40:25 Drew Yeah. When he said perfect, he meant physically, though, right?

40:29 Caller I don't know. Kind of a dip.

40:33 Drew You are?

40:33 Caller Yeah.

40:34 Drew No. Untrue. No. You can be and do whatever you want in life, all right?

40:40 Caller Yeah.

40:40 Drew As long as it doesn't involve education. So, Rebecca, why don't you just then be mature and say to this guy, hey, stop playing games. Just say to him, you know what? I'm interested in you, but I want to know if you're interested in me and if you're not, fine. But if you are, let's go forward. And if not, I'm going to move on.

40:58 Adam Yeah, really.

40:59 Drew See what he says. He's stopped playing games.

41:01 Caller Quit being a dickhead.

41:03 Adam Well, no, don't say that to him. Just because then you're sort of open for more manipulation. Just say, I'm interested. If you are and want to be more involved, great. Otherwise, I'm not.

41:13 Drew Let me see why I'm angered by it.

41:15 Adam Not why are you a dickhead, because that leaves him open to kind of, I'm not a dickhead. I'll get into sort of ridiculous discussion.

41:21 Drew Let me say this to men and women.

41:24 Adam You're putting that on a card?

41:26 Drew They're both very, very guilty. We're both very guilty of this in different ways. Men and women, not me and you. Certainly not me. Most likely you at some point.

41:35 Adam Okay.

41:36 Drew So many people get involved with other people to make them feel a certain way about themselves.

41:43 Adam Well, that's, yeah.

41:45 Drew So many people do.

41:46 Adam That is most relationships, particularly that.

41:48 Drew Well, okay. But I'm all right if it's a situation where, look, I love him, he loves me, he makes me feel good about myself, I make him feel good about himself. That's fine. I mean, everything you do. Here's what I want to say, Drew. If I write a check for $1,000 to the goodwill tonight, maybe I'm doing it to make me feel better about myself. They still get the thousand bucks. I don't care about, I don't want to look.

42:13 Adam I know where you're going. That's what you're saying.

42:16 Drew Yes, I don't want to get that much into that.

42:18 Adam From the standpoint of what's healthy though, relationships should not be built on how they make you feel.

42:22 Drew Well, not even relationships, but even potential relationships. There's so many people, there's so many of you chicks out there that are keeping around a guy or two because you know he worships you and you know he's into you. You're just stringing them along and it makes you feel better. You'll never have a relationship with a guy, you'll probably never consummate it. There's a lot of guys who do the same thing. There's a lot of people who conduct themselves this way.

42:46 Adam Guys really do that a lot with the trophy wives and all that stuff. It's how they make them feel. It makes me feel good to have somebody that looks a certain way.

42:53 Drew No, no, no, but Drew, Drew, listen to me. Every relationship is this way. I understand that. If you're going to marry the chick and make her your trophy wife, then that's fine. You've committed to a relationship, you're living with this person. She gets half of everything you got if and you break up. I'm talking about the ones that never turn into a real relationship. They're just floating around the outskirts of a relationship that go on constantly. Like I said, you women who have these guy friends you've known for five years, you know are in love with you, but you will never cut them loose. You keep them around to make you feel good about yourself. You guys who are doing these sort of one night stands with these chicks who you know are in love with you, but you somehow convince them that they're not. They say whatever you want, you're just banging them once a week. It's really unfair to all these people who are floating around.

43:45 Adam It's unthinkable.

43:47 Drew Like I said, hey, if you want to marry the chick and make your trophy, fine. Or you want to marry the guy, fine. Or you want to have a relationship with them.

43:54 Adam Even that it's not healthy. You can make it a relationship, but it's not a healthy foundation for a relationship.

43:59 Drew But I'm saying the foundation you have with your wife comes from the bowels of hell, I'm sure, but you're married, you have kids, and it works. Do you know what I'm saying?

44:12 Adam Yeah, it works. It doesn't come from the bowels of hell.

44:15 Drew Well, purgatory. Here's my point.

44:18 Adam You know, my wife asked me this thing. She's a dynamite lady.

44:20 Drew Dynamite lady. Dynamite lady.

44:21 Adam Why is she so cruel to me? I said Adam likes you. That's just the way he's to everybody. Now you got to call and apologize to her.

44:28 Drew She's not listening to this crappy show. Here, I'm not talking about relationships where they're consummated and a relationship happens. I'm talking about all these half ones that are floating around out there. You're not interested in someone, cut them loose. And they should do the same thing.

44:41 Adam Oh, it's cruel otherwise.

44:43 Drew Thank you. Well, let's take a little early break. What do you say? When we come back, we'll speak to Jacob at 17. His girlfriend has inverted nipples. Maybe she's inside out and her nipples are pointing the right way.

44:56 Adam Yes.

44:58 Drew Thank you. After this.

45:01 Caller Hello, what is this?

45:02 This is Loveline. 1-800-LOVE-191.

45:35 Drew Hey, this is a good riff. Who's this? Poopa Stink with a P, with a C? Oopa? Poopa Stink. Oh, that was called Poopa Stink. Stank? That's Stink. Okay, we'll have to get the spelling of this one now. Hey, listen, bands, you've got to be easier to pronounce. Poopa Stink is Stank. Poopa Stink? All right. Booked on the 20th of this show. We'll get the correct spelling on the 19th. That's Drew. I'm Adam. This is Loveline. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. We'll go back to the phones.

46:23 Adam Turn your radio down. Carrie?

46:26 Caller Unacceptable.

46:27 Drew Carrie's turning his radio down.

46:29 Adam There you go.

46:30 Drew 17.

46:31 Caller Yeah.

46:32 Drew Oh, by the way, the girl with the inverted nipples fell off the line.

46:36 Adam Right.

46:36 Drew So we will not be talking to her unless she calls back. Go ahead, Carrie.

46:40 Caller My question was that my girlfriend, when she orgasms, she like, it's a lot. What if it's normal?

46:48 Adam You mean something comes out of her?

46:50 Caller A lot.

46:50 Adam A lot comes out of her. That is normal.

46:54 Caller Okay.

46:54 Drew What do you think it is?

46:57 Caller About water.

46:58 Adam Water. She's like a sparklet's container.

47:04 Drew You could pitch pennies into her vagina like a fountain. Hey, but it's not urine?

47:11 Caller No.

47:11 Drew Okay. But a lot of something comes out of her. Okay. That's good. Are you okay with that? Yeah. Does it happen during oral sex? Oh. Okay. Oh, boy. It hits you in the face? Do you smoke a lot of weed? No. Okay.

47:29 Adam Just think of 17-year-olds can tolerate a lot.

47:32 Drew Hey, Kerry. Yeah. Give me a word that's like two syllables. Oxy-pad.

47:42 Adam Oxy-pad?

47:43 Drew Maxi-pad.

47:43 Adam Maxi-pad.

47:44 Caller Okay.

47:45 Drew It's kind of almost...

47:46 Adam Well, the two syllables.

47:47 Drew It looks like two words, but it doesn't matter.

47:49 Caller Maxi.

47:50 Drew Right. Okay. That's three. Thanks, Kerry. Thanks, buddy. Say hi to your jack-off buddies for me, all right? All right. Good times. Hey, you know what I was thinking about last night?

48:00 Caller Yeah.

48:03 Drew What happened to all the guys who used to have one leg that was three inches shorter than the other and they'd walk around with that shoe, that heel on it, that three-inch heel? And here's what would happen. You'd be walking around in some mall or something and you'd notice some cat coming your way. He had a little hitch in his giddy up. He had a little funny walk, a little funny walk and then so immediately your gaze would go down and there it would be. He'd be wearing the one Nike and then the funky corrective generic sneaker thing.

48:32 Adam With the Herman Munster lift.

48:34 Drew The Herman Munster lift on it and you'd go, that dude's got a short leg, you'd think to yourself. Now, when I used to walk around, back in the late 70s.

48:46 Adam Before you had people carrying you around.

48:48 Drew Yes.

48:48 Adam Yes. I understand.

48:49 Drew Like Cleopatra.

48:50 Adam Right.

48:52 Drew Back when I used to rub elbows with the commoners, I'd say one out of every four people I came across, a good 25 percent had that short leg thing with the big heel going.

49:03 Adam What about the external fixators like?

49:08 Drew Don't get me distracted here. Here's my point.

49:10 Adam Forrest Gump.

49:11 Drew You know how often I see a guy with a short leg and the funky big one heeled tennis shoe now?

49:16 Adam None.

49:17 Drew Almost none. Where is that guy?

49:19 Adam We've done a better job of treating that early in childhood.

49:22 Drew Is that what's going on?

49:22 Adam You don't get those problems. Yeah.

49:24 Drew I kind of miss that.

49:26 Adam I know. How about the Forrest Gump leg braces? Remember that kind of thing?

49:30 Drew Yeah. I used to see the Forrest Gump leg brace with the whole thing that went outside of the leg, like kind of a polio brace.

49:37 Adam Totally a waste.

49:38 Drew Big leather strap that went around the ankle. The other leather strap went around the thigh. I missed the prosthetic arm with the weird hook thing. You know the thing that's weird about the prosthesis is, the beige arm is somehow more eerie than it would be if it was just black or white plastic, or gray, or even just metal. The idea that it's supposed to simulate the skin color thing is kind of weird. Then the forearm was always this plastic beige that looked kind of like a forearm, but then that hook would just come out of the end of it. That was weird. It had a weird little cable on it. Yeah, but I missed the short leg guy. I like to see a few more of those people around out there, just because it makes me feel better. You know sometimes you're walking around, you're not feeling too good about yourself, or you're fretting about something like, oh jeez, the gas bill, 89 bucks this month. Jesus Christ, what do they think I'm made of? Then you look down, you see the guy with this leg that's three inches shorter than the other, and you go, okay, that gas bill is no big deal, I can handle that. At least my legs are both the same length. Do you know?

50:45 Adam Yeah.

50:46 Drew Here's one more question about that. How come the short leg shoe, the Extendo Herman Munster shoe with the three inch lift on it, looked like a nursing shoe? They could never just match the other shoe the guy was wearing.

51:02 Adam Probably because the foot was deformed in there.

51:04 Drew You think so?

51:05 Adam Yeah.

51:05 Drew Do you think?

51:06 Adam Yeah.

51:07 Drew But the shoe looked like the same shape. It did look a little domey. But later on in life, you started seeing guys with, they took an actual Nike and just lifted that one up, but it was a lot better. It was much better because why the hell the guy's wearing a PF flyer on one foot and then he's got the beige nurse shoe with the Herman Munster Extendo heel. You're going, of course, you're staring right at it. He looks like a soccer-style kicker in the NFL. At least paint it the same color. How come we never thought of that stuff? I could have thought of that stuff back then, Drew.

51:44 Adam If only you'd been around.

51:46 Drew Okay. But you're with me. You don't see the short guy leg anymore. You think we're just picking it out when the guy's two months old and we're doing some bone grafts.

51:55 Adam Or we are doing things that we're healing fractures better and that kind of thing.

51:59 Drew All right. Well, I'm saying I miss it. Kelly?

52:03 Caller Yeah?

52:04 Drew You're 13?

52:05 Caller Yeah.

52:05 Drew Oh, you're so young. So you're going to grow up in a world where you don't know what people with shorter, one leg shorter than the other are like.

52:12 Adam What's up, Kelly?

52:14 Caller My friend, last Sunday, she told me that she wanted to commit suicide. And she said she already tried to overdose on ecstasy.

52:20 Caller Oh, boy.

52:21 Caller And I asked her how many pills she took.

52:23 Caller And she said 10. And I was like, okay.

52:25 Caller 10. Wow. Yeah.

52:27 Adam That's not so good.

52:29 Caller So I was talking to her about it. And she's like, yeah, I guess I was lucky. And I was like, well, didn't you try and kill yourself? She's like, yeah. So the whole time she was like, oh, well, my dad hates me. And my sister said she wishes I was dead. And the guy she likes is going out with some other girl. And she doesn't even like him. And she goes out with people for like a week. And she's all like mad about it.

52:49 Adam All right. She needs she needs help. Kelly, she's got a life threatening problem. She's thinking about suicide. And let's get her some help. OK?

52:56 Caller I don't know like what to do though. I mean, I don't know if I'm supposed to tell people.

53:00 Adam Like if they get mad at me. No, you need. Listen, you're talking about saving her life. You need to do whatever you have to do to get her help. Right now, the best friend you can be puts your friendship in jeopardy, certainly. But the best friend you can be saves her life. OK, you really got to pay attention here. And if there's a teacher or somebody at school, you can notify and do that. It sounds like the parents may not be terribly responsive. So you need to find someone who will listen. OK? OK. But take it very seriously, very seriously.

53:27 Drew And Kelly, look, this is what a friend does. Sometimes it's not just all about hanging out and talking about boys. You got to do important things. And if this is the most important thing you can do as a friend. I mean, if a friend is talking about committing suicide, you got to get that friend help. That's your responsibility. And if she's got a problem with it, that's her problem. You can't announce to people, you're going to do, you know, it's no different, well, it's marginally no different than saying, I'm going to go shoot somebody, I'm going to go blow something up. It is up to your friend, even though it may not be cool for a friend to rat out another friend or turn in another friend, when there's lives involved, that takes precedent. Thank you. Serena?

54:19 Caller Hi.

54:20 Drew So all you folks that are hanging out with terrorists, all you friends of terrorists and they're bragging about anthrax and blowing up bridges, you got to rat them out. That's what a good friend would do.

54:30 Adam That's right.

54:31 Drew All right?

54:32 Caller No, not all right.

54:39 Adam Serena?

54:40 Caller Yes.

54:40 Adam What's up?

54:42 Caller I have a question for you, Dr. Drew.

54:43 Adam Yes, ma'am.

54:45 Caller Okay.

54:45 Caller I've been exposed to lots of bad stuff in my life, and I want to know like how bad could it happen? Something happened to me because when I was little, my parents divorced, and my mom needed two people, and she got me married to one of them, and he's terrible.

55:03 Drew What's he doing?

55:04 Adam Well, the fact that you're asking that question so objectively is a good thing, but you're wondering.

55:08 Caller I don't think I'm normal because I want to be a forensic science investigator, you know? I'm not obsessed with death or anything like that. I don't think about dying or anything, but like every time some sort of TV program or something comes on, I always want to watch it, and I want to read books about stuff like that, and I don't know if that's normal.

55:24 Drew That's fine.

55:26 Adam It's, again, using a term that sort of has a negative connotation or quality to it, normal versus abnormal, it means something. You may have some aggression sort of built up, and it may be part of that, but...

55:35 Drew Well, you watch those shows on the Discovery Channel about how they get all the clues, the new detectives and stuff.

55:41 Caller Yeah.

55:42 Adam Yeah, on the other hand, this may be a healthy way to express some of that. Certainly, when you go through the kinds of traumas that you've been through, it's going to have an effect on you, but the fact that you're sort of watchfully looking out for your behaviors might help you. And the most common thing we see with those sorts of the things you've described so far, at least, is trouble with intimacy, having trouble having stable relationships, trouble attracting and being attracted to healthy people. And if you really want to change that, get some therapy. But the fact that you have sort of what we call an observing ego, a part of you that observes your behavior and questions and looks at it, that's very positive.

56:15 Drew Well, and here's the thing, too, if you have a situation at home that's less than optimal, and you want to do something with your life, like the forensic science, you stay in school, you get involved with school, you play sports after school, you come home, you eat dinner, you study, and you go to bed, and you go right back to school. And before you know it, you're out of college because you got good grades in high school, and you got a scholarship and all this kind of stuff, and you're just out of there. I mean, you just got, I don't know how bad a guy your stepdad is, but most...

56:49 Caller You don't know how bad your stepdad is.

56:50 Drew Oh, is really? Well, here's the point. If you keep your grades up, don't get into trouble, and just stay out of this guy's sight, will he still come after you?

57:02 Caller I hope not.

57:03 Adam All right, well, that's good enough.

57:05 Drew I mean, well, it's not great, but...

57:07 Adam She's really angry with the guy. If there was a probability, she would have gone, oh yeah, he'd be after me in a matter of minutes.

57:11 Drew Well, here's what I'm saying. Even the world's worst parents, for the most part, will leave you alone.

57:19 Adam You stay out of their way.

57:20 Drew You know what they are, essentially? They're like prison guards. They're like bad prison guards, but you know what? You spend all your time in the prison chapel, in the prison library, and lights out at 10, and lights out, and you don't get involved with any food fights or trouble or riots or anything. You know what? They pretty much just let you go about your business, and you do that, and then you get paroled, and you go off to college, and you never go back. And it's about taking those last couple years at home and making them as smooth and easy as you possibly can make them. You know why this is the greatest country in the world, Drew?

57:54 Adam Why, Adam?

57:55 Drew I was thinking about, as I had watched the Diamondbacks win the World Series tonight, I saw this, Kurt Schilling, this animal, the man, this guy's a 6'4, 6'5, 230, 240 pounds. I saw him grabbing the poor Chinese guy, or Chinaman, as I like to call them, Kim, who had given up the two heartbreaking, ninth inning home runs to New York, and would have completely been the goat of the series, had New York gone on to win tonight, which they looked like they were going to do. And not only the goat of the series, like we were talking about with somebody, Bill Buckner, possibly commit suicide by the end of year. You're getting death threats.

58:40 Caller It could be the end.

58:43 Drew He would have to move from Arizona. And I'm not exaggerating, he probably would. But the point is, they won tonight, so all is forgiven.

58:53 Adam In fact, he made an exciting series.

58:55 Drew Kurt Schilling is picking this Chinese guy up who barely speaks a word of English and who's about 6 inches, 8 inches shorter than he is and 100 pounds lighter. And he's swinging him around like a rag doll. He's got him in a big bear hug and he's just swinging this guy back and forth. And this guy's got him in a bear hug, but he's up off his feet. I mean, it looked like when the women would meet their sailors coming off the boat after World War II, you know, and he's just swinging this guy back and forth. And I thought, that's why this is a great country. You got this guy from another part of the globe who barely speaks a lick of English, who came up in a totally different situation, who just gave up, essentially lost two games for a team. And you got this big guy getting a big fat bear hug and telling them it's okay. And that's why I thought this would not go on in too many other places, I thought to myself. Okay, thank you. Paul?

59:51 Yeah?

59:51 Drew You're 20. Then I gave 100 grand to the IRS for the last month and...

59:56 Adam Talked good about it for the first time.

59:58 Drew Yeah, Paul?

59:59 Yeah.

59:59 Adam Yeah, you owed him too, but that's beside the point.

1:00:01 Drew Right, what's up? You're 20.

1:00:03 I got a question for Dr. Drew.

1:00:05 Adam Yeah?

1:00:06 I'm interested on your thoughts on the psychologist, Dr. Freud, and his whacked out theories.

1:00:14 Drew Which ones?

1:00:15 Um, there's this guy named Freud, he's like the first psychologist.

1:00:19 Drew Right, hold on a second.

1:00:20 Hold on.

1:00:21 Caller My Paul.

1:00:22 What?

1:00:22 Drew This guy, what's his first name?

1:00:25 I don't know his first name. I thought he was famous.

1:00:28 Drew Yeah, he is.

1:00:30 Adam We're just shocked that you don't know his first name, that you would call him this guy.

1:00:34 Drew I'd say he's in the top 30 of psychologists.

1:00:37 Dr. Drew didn't know his first name.

1:00:39 Drew Yeah, we know, even I know his first name.

1:00:42 See, that's why I called up, because I knew you would know his first name.

1:00:45 Drew All right. Well, anyway, what's your question?

1:00:47 His theory was, maybe you heard of his theory, that...

1:00:50 Drew He had a couple, you know.

1:00:52 Caller Yeah, but this is a really crazy one.

1:00:54 Drew All right, go ahead.

1:00:56 That when little baby boys, they thought their parents were going to kill them. I mean, they thought their dad was going to cut off their testicles.

1:01:09 Adam Or their mom. Or their mom.

1:01:12 Or their mom.

1:01:12 Adam The mom can take them too. Yeah, it's part of the development.

1:01:14 I thought it was, they wanted to kill him.

1:01:17 Adam Mom was the good guy. Yeah, no, that's part of it. But, it's actually beyond theory at this point. I mean, these have been evolved into other more accurate renditions of what people experience on a non-conscious, or at least barely conscious level as they're developing. And you're taking it too literally. I mean, these are basically as you're growing up, your body tries to integrate visceral kinds of input with its relationship with the outside world and develop a cohesive sense of self in relation to other people. In the process of that, there are normal experiences that are not, and it's not literally that he has a concept, a young male child has a concept of somebody removing his testicles. It's that there is a visceral connection between the fear they have about their parents, the ambivalence they have about their intense feelings towards them that ties in genital kinds of experiences. That's all. You're being way too literal in the interpretation.

1:02:13 Drew Let's talk to Jonathan. Here's 25. Jonathan?

1:02:17 Hello.

1:02:18 Drew Hello. What's up?

1:02:19 Very good. Hello, Adam.

1:02:21 Caller Hello, Drew.

1:02:22 Long time listener. First time caller.

1:02:24 Caller Thank you.

1:02:25 Adam Thank you.

1:02:25 Okay.

1:02:26 Drew Yeah.

1:02:26 And I just called to correct one thing that Byung-Hyeon Kim of D-Backs is Korean.

1:02:33 Drew Oh, he's Korean. He's not Chinese.

1:02:35 Adam He's 22. Can you imagine that? Pitching in the World Series at 22.

1:02:39 Drew Oh, half those guys are.

1:02:41 I wonder what I was doing when I was 22.

1:02:43 Adam You what?

1:02:44 No. I mean, yeah. I mean, I know. Well, I guess, I feel that I'm getting old. When I see all these young people doing all these things. Yeah.

1:02:51 Adam Jata is a ripe old age. Yeah, right. He's 25.

1:02:54 Drew He was playing AAA ball when he was 22. He wasn't in the show. Hey, yeah. You always think of Kim as a Chinese name. But it's more of a Korean name.

1:03:04 Adam Oh, that's a Korean name.

1:03:05 Drew It means like Chin would be a Chinese name, right?

1:03:08 Well, Kim is actually Korean. Okay, Kim, Park, those are all Koreans.

1:03:12 Drew Right.

1:03:12 You can go either Chinese or Korean, like things like Lo, Liang, they are definitely Chinese.

1:03:19 Drew So, like Kim and Park, like Chanho Park, those are Korean guys. But Kim and Park are Korean names, and then there's some Chinese, Korean names that are sort of interchangeable, right?

1:03:32 Yeah, but not Kim or Park.

1:03:36 Adam What are the ones that are interchangeable? Chow.

1:03:39 Drew Chow, man.

1:03:40 Adam What are they?

1:03:41 Li, L-E-E. Li.

1:03:42 Drew Right.

1:03:43 Chinese or Korean.

1:03:44 Adam All right.

1:03:45 And also Lim, L-I-M.

1:03:47 Adam Lim, yeah.

1:03:48 Drew Right.

1:03:49 Caller And let me see.

1:03:51 Adam Li and Lim, they are mostly Chinese, though, right?

1:03:53 Caller Mostly.

1:03:54 Adam At least out here.

1:03:55 Caller Lim, I don't know.

1:03:56 Caller You can do some Korean.

1:03:59 I'm not sure, because my last name is Li as well, and I'm a Korean.

1:04:03 Adam Here's an interesting question. What's the sort of historical genesis, the source of this? Why are they such common names? You know what I mean? Does it mean something at one time in history?

1:04:13 Caller Yeah, well, basically, in most Korean or Chinese last names, in that language, that last name is only one letter. So I guess that kind of limits the diversity. When it's only one letter, then...

1:04:33 Adam Was it the name of a town, or the name of some guy a million years ago?

1:04:36 Caller Well, yeah, I think it goes by the name of an ancestor a long time ago, but that's just my guess. Okay.

1:04:45 Drew All right.

1:04:46 Caller Cool.

1:04:47 Drew Thanks, Jonathan. Take care of yourself. All right. I like the Koreans. They're good. They're sassy. They're tough folks, those Koreans. They don't mess around. They're on the liquor store with the guns, you know? Right breaks out. Don't mess with them Koreans.

1:05:03 Caller They protect their land.

1:05:05 Adam Hey, Jerry.

1:05:08 Drew I went to a liquor store in Korea Town and just got shot at the other day. I mean, even during non-riot time. So they just get up on the roof and shoot at you.

1:05:16 Adam Yeah, get one look at you.

1:05:17 Drew It's the way they conduct business.

1:05:18 Adam Jerry.

1:05:19 Yeah.

1:05:19 Adam What's up?

1:05:20 Yeah, I got a question for you about Andrastat, Andrastein, I guess you would call it.

1:05:26 Adam Andrastein Dion?

1:05:28 Yes, that's it. I've actually been taking Andrastat 150 Cyclo Poppers and working out with that. I seem to be making pretty good gains on it. But I seem to also get some side effects from it. I don't know if it comes exactly from the pill or...

1:05:46 Adam What are the side effects?

1:05:48 I seem to feel like I get angry sometimes.

1:05:52 Adam Yep.

1:05:53 And my mood changes very fast.

1:05:55 Adam Yep.

1:05:56 And also sometimes I just get real jittery, like I can't stop moving.

1:06:01 Adam Well, be careful. You can definitely destabilize your moods with these things, both in the standpoint of becoming irritable and sometimes even manic. And when you stop or cycle off, you can get severely depressed or even can get depressed when you're on them. I've seen a couple of guys kill themselves because of these drugs.

1:06:18 Are you serious?

1:06:19 Adam Yeah. They can really destabilize your moods. I'm not saying that's going to happen to you, but these are chemicals and they alter your body function. They also can cause liver tumors and hypertension and strokes and heart attacks and hardening of the arteries and various other things that are not good for you.

1:06:32 Drew Hey Jerry. Right. I'm no doctor, but I work with them, okay? Right. So let me speak for a second here. Are you just doing this because you want to put some muscle on or are you training for some event or something?

1:06:46 I'm not training for any event or anything. I've gotten into weight lifting more recently. Actually, I've been into it for about a year now.

1:06:53 Adam And there's a lot of stuff that goes on in the gym. People take all kinds of steroids. They take speed and stimulants. They will take the over-the-counter. There's a lot of stuff that seems normal in the gym that's not healthy and not normal.

1:07:04 Drew Well, but let me just float a little philosophy here, Jerry. Here's the deal, because I used to be this way, too. I mean, I didn't take steroids or anything. But I lifted a ton of weights when I played football and all that stuff. And here's the problem. Why create an unrealistic body for you to try to keep up? Do you know what I'm saying? I mean, everyone wants to look good. And that's fine. Look good. And look in proportion and look streamline. And if you want to get laid, you know, you're better off looking like a swimmer than you are like a wrestler. You think so? Absolutely. Chicks constantly. You know, you know who likes big, big muscle-bound guys? Guys. Big, big muscle fags like that. The guys who get laid are the guys who look like Jason Seahorn, the DB for the New York Giants, you know? These guys that are 6 foot, 185, 190 pounds with washboard abs and nice proportion. These are the guys who get laid. You know the guys who get laid? The guys who look like, you know, in those Disney cartoons when they draw the hero? Not the villain with the big, bulky guy, but the kind of streamlined, the in proportion guy, the Robin Hood type. That'll get you laid. And here's the deal. If you blow yourself up by taking the drugs and lifting your ass off and all that kind of stuff, you're like one injury away from being off it for 6 weeks and falling apart. You see, you have to keep it up. It's like you're spinning plates. Why not just get with a regiment where you look good and it's something you can keep up with if you get a good job and you can't go into the gym 2 hours a day every day?

1:08:44 Caller Well, this is the thing. I only spend about an hour in the gym 3 times a week, so I mean...

1:08:49 Drew Okay. Well, if that's all you're doing, fine. But now you're taking the drugs.

1:08:52 Adam Maybe increase my drug.

1:08:54 Drew Hey, Wussup? How about hitting the gym a few more hours? Jesus Christ, you pansy. My grandmother's in the gym an hour 3 days a week. You sauce, get busy. All right. All right, you're fine. But listen, even with the supplements, you can't take these things forever. It's going to screw you up, and then you're going to sort of fall. And why deflate? And your body will just sort of go back to what it was, or sometimes worse.

1:09:24 Adam It's funny how the brain works, the human mind. I was, even as a physician, I was taking some sort of multivitamins with minerals, and I wasn't really paying attention to what it was. It just brought home some minerals and vitamins. And I was taking them and noticing there were herbs in them. And all of a sudden, I started getting spontaneous bruising, even in my palm, all of a sudden, this incredible pain.

1:09:43 Drew Beating off too much?

1:09:44 Adam No, I was having some weird side effect of these. You gotta pay attention to what you take. That's the point.

1:09:48 Drew Right. And here's the deal. Don't start anything you can't finish.

1:09:54 Adam Or can't keep up.

1:09:55 Drew Yeah. Why do it? Why inflate yourself? Why get on all this stuff? And then you get a job and you gotta quit and you fall apart. Really?

1:10:04 Caller Break.

1:10:06 Drew Hold on one second, because I'm very intrigued. Casey?

1:10:09 Hey, Adam.

1:10:10 Drew Hey, you're 15.

1:10:11 Caller It's really nice to talk to you guys. I have a carpentry question for you.

1:10:14 Drew Yeah, it's good to talk to you. Yeah, I'm going to answer it now, because I love carpentry so much.

1:10:19 Adam All right, go ahead.

1:10:20 Caller All right. My door frame. My door is about an inch and a half. I've slammed my door a couple of times. Right. And it's pulled at about an inch and a half out of the door frame. I was wondering if there was an easy way to fix that.

1:10:31 Adam Well, he gave me one of these one time. Go ahead.

1:10:33 Drew All right. Well, first off is the door jam. Oh, okay. Just so people think you know what you're talking about. And it's the top hinge that's loose?

1:10:41 Caller No, it's the side opposite of the hinge.

1:10:43 Drew Oh, as we call the strike side. The butt side is what we call the hinge.

1:10:48 Adam How did you screw that up?

1:10:50 Caller I just slammed the door really hard.

1:10:51 Drew You just slammed it into it and you knocked the doorstop off or something?

1:10:56 Caller No, it's just like it's got these little pin things. And there's the hole, what did you call it? Not the frame, but the jam around the door.

1:11:07 Drew The door jam, yeah.

1:11:08 Caller The jam just came completely off. It came out of the wall, or it kind of slid down the wall a little bit.

1:11:15 Adam I can't figure out what he's describing.

1:11:16 Drew We're going to have to take a little break here.

1:11:17 Caller Whoa!

1:11:18 Drew Hold on a sec.

1:11:19 Caller Oh my god! Somebody hold the phones!

1:11:22 Caller I can't believe that!

1:11:23 Drew This is great radio. Casey, are you in the room with the said fallen jam? Alright, so stay there.

1:11:31 Caller Alright.

1:11:31 Drew Okay, and really take a look at it. I'm going to tell you how to fix this. Do you have any tools around the house?

1:11:36 Caller Yeah, I do. In my garage, yeah.

1:11:38 Drew Did you get them out?

1:11:39 Caller I don't know if I can get them out right now.

1:11:41 Drew Your family's sleeping?

1:11:42 Caller Oh yeah.

1:11:43 Drew Okay, hold on a second. We'll get back and then we'll take on more of your home improvement questions after this.

1:11:50 Caller Alright guys, here's the deal.

1:11:52 You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

1:11:55 Caller One call is all you need to make. Call the Dateline.

1:11:58 Adam 877-889-DATE.

1:12:00 Call the Dateline. Loveline, I'll be right back.

1:12:34 Caller Hey, this is Jim, and I'm Tom. We play in the band Jimmy Eat World. You're listening to Loveline with Dr. Drew and Adam Corolla.

1:12:43 Caller Hey, thank you.

1:12:44 Drew Yes, it's my theme song here.

1:12:48 Adam Was that you signaling for coffee?

1:12:49 Caller No, I want water.

1:12:52 Drew I just poured it in a used coffee cup.

1:12:55 Adam Well, then you poured it on the console here, waving at the people.

1:12:58 Drew I was trying to get Damian in here to get me some more water.

1:13:00 Caller All right.

1:13:01 Drew Hey, everybody, Loveline.

1:13:02 Caller There you go.

1:13:03 Drew Phone number. Thank you, Damian. What are we talking about? Carpentry. Yeah. Fuel is going to be in here tomorrow night. I was talking carpentry with young Casey, who's destroyed his door for slamming it too many times. Who are you getting in fights with at home that you're slamming your door? My mom.

1:13:20 Caller Oh, boy.

1:13:22 Drew And you slammed your door and it's screwed up the part of the door where the door knob hits the jam.

1:13:31 Caller Right.

1:13:31 Drew Is that true?

1:13:32 Adam Are you sure it's screwed that up or it's just sort of hitting there strangely now?

1:13:35 Caller No, no. You can see a separation between the, it's a half an inch down. The wall is like eight inches thick and it's about eight inches thick and it's half way down the wall.

1:13:48 Drew Okay. So when he says, see here's the beauty of young Casey, he's saying the jam is down, the jam is over.

1:13:54 Adam Over.

1:13:54 Drew Okay. Yeah. Okay.

1:13:57 Adam But by the way, eight inch wall. Eight inch wall?

1:14:00 Drew No. Well, Drew, you're showing me 13 inches. No, the wall is three inches. No, the studs are two by four, so that's three and a half inches and you got half inch drywall on each side of that, maybe five eighths, so you're still under five inches.

1:14:13 Mom, I'm so mad at you.

1:14:15 I'm so mad at you, mom.

1:14:17 Drew That's when I would slam the door. But then if you put the casing on each side of that, you could be hovering around five and a half. But anyway, listen, this jam, you've actually slid over and you want to work it back to where it is, to where it belongs, right?

1:14:31 Caller Yeah.

1:14:32 Drew Okay. That jam is just nailed in place. It's not screwed in place.

1:14:36 Caller Right.

1:14:37 Drew I would believe. What year is your house? Do you have any idea?

1:14:40 Caller Well, the house, I don't know, but my dad built this addition like 93 maybe.

1:14:47 Drew Okay. So your dad put that door on.

1:14:50 Caller Right.

1:14:50 Drew Probably had no idea when he was building it that it's a screw up son, who was only, what, eight at the time.

1:14:56 Adam In fact, he was dreaming about building it on his behalf.

1:14:59 Drew One day, my young scientist son will invent the cure to cancer in this room. Meanwhile, he's smoking weed and slamming the door because his mom asked him to.

1:15:08 Adam Oh, trash out.

1:15:09 Drew All right. Okay, here's what you need to do. You go to the garage, you get a hammer.

1:15:15 Adam Rubber hammer or a mallet kind of thing?

1:15:17 Drew I would have specified mallet had I meant mallet. But a mallet will work, thanks, Drew. You can get a hammer or mallet or something and then get yourself a little beading block, a little block of wood.

1:15:29 Caller Oh, okay, yeah.

1:15:30 Drew And something you can beat on and not beat off with, but beat on and put it on the other side of the jam and whack on it a few times until you get that thing back into place.

1:15:41 Caller All right.

1:15:41 Drew And then once you get it back into place, you can take a couple of finish nails, and that doesn't mean a common head nail. That means a nail with a cup and finish, you know, the small head on it.

1:15:53 Caller Right.

1:15:54 Drew And, you know, hit a few of those in there to keep it in place.

1:15:58 Adam You need to...

1:15:59 Caller Yeah.

1:15:59 Drew No. No, you can do it by hand.

1:16:01 Adam All right. All right.

1:16:03 Caller Hey, Adam, did you watch any football today?

1:16:04 Drew Yeah.

1:16:05 Caller Did you see the Bears game?

1:16:06 Drew Yeah, it was crazy.

1:16:07 Caller That was awesome at the end. Or just at the end of the regulation.

1:16:12 Drew Did anyone...

1:16:13 Adam I missed that game.

1:16:14 Drew All I do is lose money. You know what I do? I bet these goddamn teaser cards. And, you know, these teaser games. And I'm sorry about San Diego. There's another game, another play. The Bears, everybody, were down. And this is no exaggeration. They were down 21 to 7 with 25 seconds left in the game. What? 21 to 7 with 25 seconds left in the game. Now, they had the ball and they were... They were, you know, probably... I don't know. The game wasn't on. I was being... kept abreast of it. They were on, like, the 10-yard line or whatever it was. But the point is, is technically, with 25 seconds left in the game, they were down by 14 points.

1:16:58 Adam Oh, my God.

1:16:59 Drew And they won that game.

1:17:00 Adam So, they scored on-sided?

1:17:03 Drew They scored, and there was, like, 18 seconds left in the game. They onside... to make it 14 to 21. They onside kicked. They got the ball. They threw a Hail Mary. They made it. They tied it up 21-21. And then, in OT, the same dude, number 30, I can't remember what his name was, for the Bears, who intercepted the ball and took it in to win in OT last week, got another against San Francisco, against the 49ers. Terrell Owens dropped one or coughed one up, and this guy took it in last week for a big OT win.

1:17:40 Adam Same guy.

1:17:40 Drew He then got another ricochet interception, took it in, and won the second game in a row. The same guy with an interception in overtime to win today. That was one of my teaser games, and the other one was, now you know what had to happen tonight is New Orleans, who just got done clobbering my beloved Rams, beating them at home, beating the Rams, you know, lost two games at home in the last ten years. They beat the Rams at home. They're playing the Jets, the hapless Jets in New Orleans, and Jets put a good spanking on them. That's why you cannot, you can't bet, you can't bet. New Orleans just gets done beating the Rams in St. Louis, putting 38 points on the board and beating the only undefeated team left in the NFL last week. This week goes home, has the Jets beat them. I got, now you play the teaser card, you get them even. So I don't have to give away any points. All I need is New Orleans to win. Nope, can't do it. That's why you cannot gamble, everybody. Let's help the kiddies. Thank you. Brittany?

1:18:53 Caller Yeah, hello?

1:18:54 Adam What's going on?

1:18:55 Caller Drew, actually, I have a question for you. Saturday, I had unprotected sex with my ex-boyfriend and I had found out that he got Hep C from using heroin.

1:19:07 Adam Great.

1:19:08 Caller And he's my ex-boyfriend because he is an addict and he's not staying sober. And I just wanted to know if I could get that through unprotected sex.

1:19:17 Adam Yeah, you certainly can. It's not likely. It's not an easy thing to get from sex, but it is a possibly sexually transmitted disease.

1:19:26 Caller Okay.

1:19:27 Adam Okay. So you got to be careful. You really got to use protection with this guy.

1:19:31 Caller I was just kind of, I don't know, I was just scared that I was going to get that.

1:19:34 Adam What about HIV risk?

1:19:38 Caller He's gotten tested and all he has is Hep C.

1:19:41 Adam And he still has it for sure?

1:19:44 Caller Yeah, I'm pretty sure he does. I just found out.

1:19:47 Adam He needs to be treated for that, right?

1:19:49 Caller Yeah.

1:19:49 Adam That's a curable condition, a certain percentage of cases. And you probably didn't get it. You need to be watched, checked out. There's really nothing you can do that I'm aware of that can prevent it once you've been exposed. But the probability is you don't have it.

1:20:00 Drew How old is this guy? What's up with you, baby?

1:20:05 Caller Nothing.

1:20:06 Drew Seventeen.

1:20:07 Caller Yeah.

1:20:08 Adam Twenty-four year old heroin addict.

1:20:10 Caller Yeah.

1:20:10 Adam That's the best you can do?

1:20:12 Caller I don't know. I recently just got into the program, well, not recently, the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. I was about seven months sober. I don't know. He was sober when I met him and then he just went back out and he's, you know.

1:20:27 Adam Well, this is a case of point. This is why it's a good idea not to get involved in that first year. It really puts your sobriety in jeopardy. I can't tell you how often relationships are what set people off. It's just the routine thing. It's why it's so important to get your sobriety really set before you begin a relationship. And the kinds of people you retract, that's why we're sort of busting your chops about the heroin addict. You're going to attract healthier people and be interested in healthier people when your sobriety is further along. This guy may be a great guy three years in sobriety, but right now he's a practicing addict and that's what you're going for right now and that's what's going to destabilize your sobriety.

1:21:04 Caller Yeah.

1:21:05 Adam Okay?

1:21:06 Drew All right.

1:21:06 Adam Stay with the program. Talk to your sponsor, follow the directions, will you?

1:21:09 Caller Yeah.

1:21:09 Drew All right. Take care of yourself.

1:21:14 Caller Let's talk to this guy.

1:21:16 Drew Tim?

1:21:17 Caller Yes.

1:21:17 Drew You're 34?

1:21:18 Caller Yes, sir.

1:21:19 Drew You're separated from your wife?

1:21:22 Caller Yes, that's right.

1:21:22 Drew She found out you're dating somebody else and now she wants you back?

1:21:26 Caller Yeah, that's right. For probably four years our relationship had been going downhill. She'd basically been ignoring me and sexually ignoring me. Basically, she told me she gave me enough just to keep me around and I feared, you know, just for the paycheck or whatever. She does work. We work at the same place and she makes almost as much as me and after I left and separated, probably three months into that, she hadn't been able to make her car payment and this and that and she finds out that I have a girlfriend which is a girl I've known for three years and the next day she turns around and does 180 degrees on me and says she wants to work things out and wants things back and maybe I just can't see the force for the trees. I don't think she's genuine in it because for three years she's had a track record of treating me like crap, just basically being aggressive toward me. What do you want to know about?

1:22:23 Drew Do you have kids?

1:22:25 Caller Yes, I do.

1:22:26 Caller About a four year old.

1:22:31 Drew I worry about the four year old, but Drew percentage wise, just playing the odds, how often does this stuff work out when they get back? You know what I'm saying?

1:22:43 Adam Let's say he said on behalf of my child I'm going to make this marriage work.

1:22:47 Caller We've separated and come back several times.

1:22:49 Drew Right, now you're really low.

1:22:52 Adam If you don't get some treatment and stick with it for an extended period of time, it will not work.

1:22:57 Caller You mean counseling?

1:22:58 Adam Yeah. It will not work. This is a situation that is intractable and it's not going to get better.

1:23:03 Drew Here's the thing. If you two get back together, which I don't necessarily recommend, but if you do, it'll be the same people that screwed it up the last eight times.

1:23:11 Adam It needs to be changed.

1:23:14 Drew You have to introduce somebody new, a little counseling, it has to be a new angle. Otherwise it's going to be the same crappy mix.

1:23:21 Caller I don't think he's genuine in it.

1:23:23 Drew Not genuine, no, but maybe table one. So I would recommend no, although this doesn't mean you still gotta be a good dad to your kid.

1:23:33 Caller Oh yeah, I'm doing that.

1:23:34 Drew And I think you have to impress upon her that she needs to be a good mom to your kid.

1:23:40 Caller Yeah.

1:23:40 Drew But if you're into somebody new and she mistreated you and it just wasn't right and you finally got out after X amount of years, I'd say stay out.

1:23:49 Caller Okay, because a lot of people who know her and know me tell me to keep on the path I'm going and it has been...

1:23:55 Drew Which path is that?

1:23:56 Adam Which is away from her?

1:23:57 Caller Yeah.

1:23:57 Drew Yeah. See, we don't even know you and we're telling you that. That's fine.

1:24:02 Adam Not unless you have both firm commitments to really change.

1:24:06 Caller I don't think she's genuine in it.

1:24:08 Caller Okay.

1:24:09 Adam I think I'm...

1:24:11 Drew No, hold on a second. No, come on. Okay, we got to take a break. Patty?

1:24:14 Caller Yeah?

1:24:14 Drew You're 33?

1:24:15 Caller Right.

1:24:16 Drew Yeah, you called because you have a light weight for a son?

1:24:19 Caller Yeah.

1:24:20 Drew He was stoned and he freaked out the other day?

1:24:23 Caller Right.

1:24:23 Caller Well, I took him to the hospital.

1:24:25 Drew Hold on. Don't tell us what happened.

1:24:27 Adam We're going to get this door in a minute.

1:24:28 Drew I was saying you need to give the guy some toll house cookies and send him to bed. Drew said, take him to the emergency room tonight. Tonight. Drew, you don't know what goes on in that emergency room.

1:24:38 Adam Oh, yes, I do.

1:24:38 Drew No. Don't you tell me what goes on in an emergency room. You go to an emergency room tonight, you will still be seen tomorrow.

1:24:45 Adam In the morning, yes.

1:24:46 Drew In the morning, yes. So, I'd just wait and go in the morning. That's what I'm saying.

1:24:49 Adam Then you'll be seen in the afternoon.

1:24:50 Drew Still better than going tonight. At least you get to go to bed. We'll get back and talk to Patty after this. Hey, everybody, Loveline. Drusky? What do you say we burn through some calls, huh, Bronda?

1:25:36 Adam I got a few to get through here.

1:25:37 Drew I got some baseball stories, though.

1:25:41 Adam I'm going to start crying.

1:25:41 Drew You're 33?

1:25:42 Caller Right.

1:25:43 Adam All right, Patty. So your son, I remember last week he was sort of bouncing into walls and freaking out a little bit.

1:25:47 Drew No, he freaked out and he said to you, I smoked some weed and I think it may have been laced with something.

1:25:54 Caller Yeah, it was.

1:25:55 Caller It was laced with coke.

1:25:56 Drew Coke. And he's 14?

1:25:58 Caller Right.

1:25:59 Drew And.

1:26:00 Adam That's not why he was freaking out, by the way.

1:26:02 Drew Hey, how do you know it was laced with coke?

1:26:04 Caller Because.

1:26:05 Adam They checked his urine.

1:26:06 Drew Shush.

1:26:06 Caller Yeah, they did a urine test and a blood test and they also caught the boy. They were selling it.

1:26:11 Drew Oh, really? Talk about justice.

1:26:14 Adam There was more than just that, though, Patty, based on what you described. I guarantee it.

1:26:18 Drew Really? Yeah. Wouldn't coke just kind of speed you up a little, make you feel groovy?

1:26:22 Adam You can make him have panic attacks and make him, but he was sort of seeing things and interacting with the environment in strange ways.

1:26:28 Drew Well, like I said, lightly. Did you took him to the emergency room that night?

1:26:32 Caller Yeah. You know, Adam said take him to the hospital, so I left work and took him to the hospital and they did blood tests and urine tests.

1:26:41 Adam So that he might have not copped the stuff unless they could have caught it on the urine.

1:26:44 Drew Right.

1:26:44 Adam If she had taken him in the morning, the urine would have been negative.

1:26:47 Drew So then what?

1:26:49 Caller Well, anyways, I talked to his counselors at school, you know, make sure his grades are, you know, up or whatever. And so he told them the boy, they were selling that. He was a high school kid and they busted him. And now I enrolled in a program called DARE. And to know what to look out for, how they react and what kind of drugs or what.

1:27:08 Adam But Patty, you already know he's doing drugs. So you need to get him to some kind of treatment.

1:27:13 Caller By counseling?

1:27:14 Adam You need to detect him as someone who's used to dealing with adolescent drug use.

1:27:18 Caller Okay.

1:27:18 Adam Because didn't you tell me your husband was an alcoholic or something or his father?

1:27:22 Caller No, his real father, he's in weed really bad.

1:27:25 Adam Okay, so there's at least a 50% probability he inherited that. And now his behavior and all suggests that this is addiction getting going here. So you need to get that taken care of immediately.

1:27:36 Caller Okay.

1:27:36 Adam Okay, he will hide it from you. DARE is great. DARE is a good way to go. But get him involved with somebody who deals with adolescent drug use regularly.

1:27:43 Drew When I was in high school, my folks, my dad was involved with an organization called CHEAR where he just sat and read.

1:27:52 Adam That's good.

1:27:52 Drew Yeah. It's an interesting program. He was asked to sit there and read while I went to high school. It wasn't a lot of involvement, but it was interesting. It was what they called a pilot program. Didn't catch you on the CHEAR program. My mom was involved with a company called, it was a program called CHEAR where she would lie down. It was easy though, didn't have to talk to any counselors or anything.

1:28:14 Adam That's the one called Weed.

1:28:15 Drew Weed, yes. I'm sorry, she was with Weed originally. Marty?

1:28:19 Caller Hello?

1:28:20 Drew And then Wicker Chair is where they actually expanded into. Marty, go ahead.

1:28:24 Caller Hello?

1:28:24 Drew You're 29, yes.

1:28:25 Caller Yes, I'm 29 and I have a question because I'm a really big fan of Drew because you are like the expert and like 10 of my best friends are like listening. So we just want to know and because I in particular have this certain thing going on. I'm 29 and I feel like I'm like a 16 year old boy and I just am going for any male body that comes near me.

1:28:52 Adam What's that doing for you?

1:28:53 Caller What's that?

1:28:54 Adam What's that doing for you?

1:28:55 Caller What's it doing for me? Having good sex, having more sex, having like...

1:29:01 Adam Why are you calling?

1:29:02 Caller Why am I calling? Because I wasn't expecting this. I thought I had sown my oats.

1:29:07 Adam Are you reacting?

1:29:08 Drew Hold on, hold on. I want to try a little strategy against the caller. Good luck. You weren't expecting this?

1:29:15 Caller No, I wasn't expecting this.

1:29:17 Drew You weren't expecting this?

1:29:18 Caller No, that as you get older and you mature as a woman, that you have less sex and that you...

1:29:24 Drew You get older and you mature as a woman?

1:29:26 Adam It's not going to work.

1:29:27 Caller Yes.

1:29:27 Adam Hey, Marty. Yes? Did you react to something? You just end a relationship or something?

1:29:32 Caller No, I ended one about five years ago.

1:29:35 Adam And are you doing drugs and alcohol when you do this with these guys?

1:29:39 Caller Probably alcohol, no drugs, I don't do drugs.

1:29:42 Adam Do you think you're an alcoholic at all? Is that part of the scene here for you?

1:29:45 Caller No, because I've had these during the day, too.

1:29:48 Drew You starting to feel older? Still older. Well, I mean, you're 29, you're a woman, do you feel like I got another few good years affing ahead of me before I'm set out to pass here?

1:29:59 Caller Well, I thought that's what guys do, but I didn't think women go through this. So, well, I thought I did that all like when I was like 25 and 24.

1:30:08 Adam So it isn't something new for you then?

1:30:12 Caller Well, not as much lately. I mean, back then it was like maybe, you know, meeting up with a guy every three months or so.

1:30:21 Adam Are you happy doing this?

1:30:23 Caller Am I happy? Well, sure.

1:30:25 Caller Isn't anybody after they...

1:30:26 Drew Stinking hard!

1:30:28 Adam Marty, are you happy?

1:30:30 Caller Yeah, I'm having a good time.

1:30:32 Drew All right. Well, then enjoy. What's the big deal? Use a condom.

1:30:36 Adam You're reacting to something, though. And people, when you ask are they happy, like, am I happy?

1:30:42 Drew Well, they think it's a trick question. People don't like to admit they're miserable. People will say they're miserable, but not if you ask them. Do you know what I'm saying? I think everyone's guilty of that.

1:30:54 Adam I think we need more time to talk to Marty.

1:30:55 Drew Oh, OK. So what's the answer?

1:30:58 Adam I have no answer. If she's happy flying, why'd she call? But there seems to be something a little unsettling about it for her, and we'd have to figure out what that was.

1:31:04 Drew OK. Not as unsettling as your chair being caught under the console and almost flipping it over when you sit down, though, right?

1:31:10 Adam We gotta go to break.

1:31:11 Drew All right, we'll be back.

1:31:12 Caller All right, guys, here's the deal. Looking to hook up?

1:31:25 Caller You know what I'm saying, I'm dead?

1:31:27 Caller Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline.

1:32:01 Drew Alright, well there you have it. Another two hours of Loveline. Where does the time go? We will be back tomorrow night with Fuel in studio until next time. This is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahala.

1:32:17 Caller But then when somebody asked about where Adam was, you were like, I'm so glad I'm here.

1:32:24 Drew Oh, how dare you.

1:32:29 Caller This has been Loveline, the opinions expressed on the show are not necessarily those of the staff. Management sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, November 4, 2001