Episode 1000754886856

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:13 Voiceover Hey, hey, hey, everybody. It's the Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That's my good partner and on again, off again lover, Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist.

1:30 Drew I'm so sorry to have dragged you away from your discussion about wood and construction.

1:34 Adam Yeah, what's up there, Drew?

1:36 Drew Sorry, I'm apologizing.

1:37 Adam Drew wanted me to do an interview over the telephone, but he didn't say interview. He just said, here, talk to this guy, talk to this guy, talk to this guy.

1:46 Drew Well, how much more could I get across to you when you're steeped in this discussion about 3x4s or what were you talking about? 3x4s. I heard 3x4s.

1:57 Adam There's no such 3x3s, Drew. Oh boy. Yeah, I like to see the looks on the guys behind the lumber counter when I ask for some 3x.

2:11 Oh, man.

2:13 Adam They'd be like, hello. Get the butterfly net. Yeah, 3x. Yeah, that'd be great, Drew. Build a whole house out of 3x. Yeah, that's great. What are you going to use, like a 12 penny nail? That's good. That's good. Oh, yeah, I was just talking about wood. Yeah, anyway, it's all good. It's all good. I'll call that guy back in a second there.

2:43 Drew You seem very happy.

2:44 Adam Yeah, well, no, I'm really, I'm just, I'm in it. I mean, you know, I'm weirded out, really.

2:48 Drew Why?

2:49 Adam Well, not weirded out. I just had one of those days. I got up early this morning. I packed, I rushed, I got it together. I went to the airport and I didn't make the flight.

2:59 Drew Oh, no.

3:00 Adam Yeah.

3:02 Drew Oh, Jimmy is not a kind...

3:06 Adam No, I wasn't traveling with Jimmy.

3:07 Drew No, no.

3:07 Adam But I was traveling to see Jimmy.

3:09 Drew But he was expecting you.

3:10 Yes, he was.

3:12 Adam I broke the kid's heart.

3:13 Drew Did he just beat the crap out of you?

3:14 Adam Well, I was on the phone.

3:16 Drew That's what I mean.

3:17 Adam No, I made the flight. I made the mistake of doing the Southwest airline. And, you know, here's what goes on there, kiddies, at the airport these days. They need to see a lot of stuff that says you're flying.

3:31 Drew Yeah.

3:32 Adam And when you fly Southwest, they give you an electronic ticket, an e-ticket as they call it. So knowing that you don't actually have a ticket, you go to the airport armed with your ID.

3:45 Drew Right.

3:45 Adam Because that's how you get your e-ticket. And if you have no baggage to check, you get your e-ticket at the gate. Right.

3:53 Drew It's in Burbank.

3:54 Adam In Burbank, yes. But what you forget about is you cannot make it to the gate, through the security, without a ticket. That's where the problem comes in. Not anymore. It would make a certain degree of sense for them to really kind of address that. Seeing as how it's like, you get your e-ticket at point B, but you can't get through point A without a ticket. So it would seem like that'd be, you know.

4:23 Drew No, no, you know.

4:24 Adam They have an itinerary or something. You need some documentation. And if you travel a lot and you used to do it the old way for many years and they don't really hammer it home, just grab your e-ticket at the gate.

4:35 Drew You wait in security for an hour and a half and find out you can't get in.

4:39 Adam You wait in security for an hour and a half, you get to the front of the line and the guy tells you, you better go to the Southwest, not the gate, go to the ticket counter and go get yourself an itinerary. It's not a ticket. It's just something that says you have a ticket.

4:53 Drew You're flying.

4:54 Adam Right. Because as you all know, there's no way, there's no terrorist in his right mind that would spend $89 to fly two ways to Vegas. They're not this kind of people.

5:04 Right.

5:05 Adam I mean, none of those 19 hijackers had tickets, Drew.

5:08 Drew I see.

5:09 Adam Not a one of them.

5:10 I see.

5:10 Adam Not one of them.

5:11 Drew Right.

5:11 Adam None of them.

5:12 Drew Right. They all got on with that tickets, of course.

5:13 Adam They all got on with that tickets.

5:16 Not one.

5:18 Adam Not one. Or wait a minute. Did every one of them have a ticket?

5:22 Drew First a business class ticket.

5:23 Adam Interesting. Well, anyway, we'll look into that later. Like this is a deterrent at this point. So now the guy who the white guy they recognize from cable is heading on back to go get the itinerary. And I go to Southwest and as Southwest would have it, Southwest is really a bus with wings on it really.

5:44 Drew It's fine.

5:46 Adam There's 85 people in this line. And of course, and here's all I want out of life. I want more than one line because I'm behind the handicapped couple from Oregon who's checking the remains of their son, which is in a trunk. You know what I'm saying? And all I need is my goddamn little flip-flop piece of paper to run back to the thing.

6:07 Drew What's the beauty of Southwest? They've got all kinds of help walking around going, anyone leaving for Las Vegas at 12 o'clock?

6:12 Adam Oh yeah, nothing but help, nothing but help. Real hands-on over there. First class all the way. So the guy says, so I look at this line and there's 90 people in this line and I'm looking at my watch, the flight's leaving in 25 minutes and how am I gonna get in? So I hate doing this and I know everyone who listens thinks I'm some sort of prima donna prick, but Drew, please back me up here. It's one of the most uncomfortable things in the world for me to even just slide in front and talk to somebody without waiting.

6:43 Drew The shocking reality, and this is the reality of both of us, but shocking I suppose applies to you, is that you do not want to be seen or heard.

6:50 Adam Thank you.

6:50 Drew Period.

6:51 Adam Who said that?

6:53 Drew And you don't want to be made an exception for.

6:56 Adam Everyone listen to me!

6:57 Drew Well, when you're in front of a mic.

7:00 Adam But at the airport, I don't want anyone to go, so what's that guy doing in front of me?

7:06 Drew Or would you please move aside for me?

7:08 Adam No way.

7:09 Drew No way.

7:09 Adam But I looked at this line, there was 90 people in it, I looked at my watch, there was 25 minutes to the plane left, I said, no way, I'm going to get in the back of this line and get my itinerary. And by the way, see, to me, this is something, I'm waiting behind people who are going to Alaska and stuff in two hours. And I don't have any time and I don't really need anything. So I go right, there's a guy standing there at the counter just sort of not doing anything on the edge. I go to him, I go, look, I got to get this itinerary. He goes, what time is your flight? I said, 10.05. Hey, you'll make it. I said, if I get in that line, I don't think I'm going to make it. Oh, that line's only about 15 minutes. You'll make it. I said, really? I really think of, I'm not trying to do this. You know, I'm not trying to cut corners here. But I think if I get in the back of that line, I don't think I'm going to make my flight. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I said, OK. I got in the line and I stood there until about 10.03. And I got my thing and got through security about 10.05 and got down to the gate about 10.08 and, no.

8:11 Drew Gone.

8:11 Adam Sorry. So I stood there and I thought, well, I'm really glad I got up really early this morning and glad I went through security twice and all that. They said, well, we got another flight leaving in 45 minutes. It's at gate eight just around the corner. I turned the corner and it was just a mass of humanity. Just 400 people standing in line and all standing around looking pissed off. And I looked at them and I looked at me and I said, nah, I'm going home. I'm just going home. So I went and I just went out to the parking lot and I said, yeah, I'm going to, I valet park my car like I always do at Burbank. I need my car back. $20. Oh yeah. I said, how much is it a day? $20. I said, let me check the ticket here. I pulled in at 920, no, 932 is when I pulled in. It's 1022 right now. 50 minutes. Yeah, it's $20. That's a day though, right? Yeah. What universe does 50 minutes get squeezed into 24 hours? That's how it works. I said to these guys, I said, look, if any other business attempted to run themselves this way, they would be closed down by the federal government. The RICO Act would prohibit businesses from running this way. Usury laws. Yes, you cannot do this. This is impossible except for anything. And then the guys said the magic words, city of Burbank, parking. And I thought, yes, yes, those cheap, horrible, horrible, horrible city people over in Burbank squeezing and raping. That should be their policy. You know, on the side of the car, it shouldn't say protect and serve. It should say to bilk and rape, to bilk and rape the public, to squeeze them like goddamn bar rags to get every last penny out of them. That's right. That's right. They see the city council does not see, does not see citizens. They see slot machines walking around. I'm sure of it. All right. That's what they hear. Every time a newborn is born in the Burbank hospital, ching ching.

10:30 Drew They must, yeah, Jimmy must have worked. The fun really must have begun when Jimmy got a hold of you.

10:34 Adam Yeah. He was fine. He was fine. I didn't have, it's fine. I'm going tomorrow morning. I'm leaving from LAX. I'm flying first class. Screw it.

10:43 Let's heal some babies.

10:45 Adam I'm getting drunk. Craig?

10:47 Yeah.

10:47 Adam 21.

10:48 Yeah.

10:49 Adam Yeah.

10:50 Oh, I got a problem, man. I keep on masturbating. All right. Okay.

10:58 Drew How many times a day?

11:01 To at least seven.

11:03 Dude, you beat off?

11:05 Drew What do you do for a living?

11:06 I work at a carnival.

11:08 Drew A carnival?

11:09 Adam No, he doesn't. No, he doesn't. What do you do at the carnival?

11:13 Drew Somebody works at a carnival.

11:14 I run a ride.

11:15 Adam Which ride?

11:16 Roller coaster.

11:17 Adam What's it called?

11:19 Just a kiddie coaster.

11:20 Adam What's it called?

11:22 That's what it's called, the kiddie coaster.

11:24 Adam What's on it?

11:26 Purple seats. That's right.

11:32 Adam Same track?

11:32 Drew Track, yeah. Coaster doesn't have a lot of stuff on it.

11:36 Adam Kiddie coaster? Sometimes kiddie coasters have a theme, you know.

11:40 Drew Yeah, yeah.

11:40 But sometimes they can be a piece of the puzzle.

11:43 Adam What's the name of the carnival?

11:46 Shaw and Sons.

11:47 Adam Huh?

11:48 Shaw and Sons.

11:49 Drew Shaw and Sons.

11:51 Adam Boy, this guy's hovering very close to the edge here.

11:54 Drew All right. Somebody's got a work bolt in there.

11:57 Adam What color is your jumpsuit?

11:59 I'll wear a jumpsuit. Wear a red shirt.

12:02 Drew Trick question.

12:03 All right.

12:04 Adam Ah-ha. All right. Do you beat off next to the kiddie coaster at work?

12:11 No.

12:12 All right.

12:13 This is an after work scenario.

12:15 Adam After work?

12:16 Yeah. I'm walking down the street, see a nice blind, and I'm running behind a building to beat off.

12:21 Oh, boy.

12:22 Adam You see a nice blind, did he say?

12:24 Yeah.

12:27 Drew Anything else going on, Craig? Are you taking medication?

12:30 Oh, not at the time, no.

12:32 Drew Are you supposed to be?

12:35 I was taking Prozac.

12:36 Drew Okay. Do you have any addictions?

12:39 Um, marijuana.

12:41 Drew Nothing else, though, right now?

12:43 No.

12:44 Drew Were you ever sexually abused? No.

12:46 Adam Do you do maintenance on the kiddie coaster?

12:49 Uh, sometimes.

12:50 Adam We were... That's enough not to ride the kiddie coaster, right?

12:54 Drew Were you ever physically abused? Growing up? No one ever hit you growing up.

13:00 I mean, I was beat up a couple of times when I was younger, but...

13:04 Adam How busy does the Carnival keep you? Do you travel around with it?

13:09 Yeah, I travel around with it, and I go home at the end of the year. Ooh.

13:13 Adam Where do you sleep? In one of the cars?

13:15 No, I got a house trailer.

13:17 Adam Well, it goes behind the... Do you know somebody who runs the Carnival? Is it a family member?

13:24 Um, yeah, kind of like.

13:26 Drew It's strange that we've never had a carny...

13:28 Adam Every answer seems highly suspicious out of Craig, by the way.

13:31 Drew Because it's so vague.

13:32 Right.

13:33 Drew But we've never had a carny calling to the show before, and strangely, two nights ago, we were talking about the fact that Laura Keitlinger, our former co-host from the MTV Loveline, family was a bunch of carnies.

13:43 Adam Yeah.

13:44 Drew She used to tell me stories about him.

13:45 Adam Not eerie, though.

13:46 Not peculiar.

13:48 Adam Craig, how about cutting back to five times a day?

13:53 Drew Have anything else, Craig, happened? Have you ever had trouble controlling your impulse? Have you ever been caught for exposing yourself? Have you ever tried to rape anybody?

14:00 No.

14:01 Adam What about you ever get oral from the bearded lady?

14:05 No.

14:07 Adam Yeah. That's a bad scene. I tried that. I did that once. Pretty low. Oh, wait a minute. That was a dude. That's right. That was just a guy with a beard.

14:14 Drew What's that, Craig?

14:16 Most of the time, it's just picking up girls off the road.

14:18 Drew Off the road? You mean like hitchhiking?

14:20 Adam Ones you've run over, hookers you've run over in your jeep.

14:24 Uh-oh. Oh.

14:26 Adam Can't you just see Craig there, smoking his Winston with his red shirt undone and a hot sun, working on that kiddie coaster, smelling a beer and quailutes, telling your kid to eat.

14:38 Drew Craig, I'm suspicious this masturbation may be part of your sort of overall addictive process.

14:45 Adam You're not real impressed by Craig?

14:47 Drew In what way?

14:48 Adam Just in general, as a human being?

14:50 Drew He's an impressive guy.

14:51 Adam Well, what I'm saying is you smell some trouble. Yeah. Global issue.

14:56 Drew Yeah. In the little short bit of information we can get from him, the only thing I can read is sort of an addiction. He's addicted to marijuana. He's addicted to masturbation. He's addicted to arousal.

15:08 Adam Has anything wrong with him? He said seven times. Can he just try to get it down to three times?

15:13 Drew Yeah, he can, but he's not likely to because he's probably an addict and he's hiding behind buildings every time he sees attractive women. You know what I mean?

15:19 It's pretty wild.

15:20 Adam I think he may have been using some metaphor there.

15:22 I don't know.

15:23 Adam Some hyperbole.

15:24 Drew I suspect not. I suspect he barely makes it behind the buildings.

15:28 Adam Okay. All right. So we'll do what? Slow down?

15:32 Drew Yeah. If he really is interested in changing, and again, he may need a more thorough psychiatric evaluation, but he can start certainly with a 12-step process.

15:41 Adam Get back and talk to whoever put him on his medication in the first place. Shauna?

15:48 Hello?

15:49 Adam You're 16. What's up?

15:51 Caller Yeah. My dad is cheating on my mom, and I found this out because about a month ago, I heard my mom yelling at my dad about him, you know, being the father of the girls, and she's curious about what's going on. And then I found out next that, you know, things, they worked it out. But about yesterday, I was eavesdropping on my dad's cell phone conversation, and I heard him say, these are his exact words, okay, bye, baby, I love you and I'll see you soon. And, okay, and that's it. And before I heard him call the girl, he called the girl Lisa, and that's not my mom's name. So I know he's cheating again.

16:30 Drew Shawn, here's what's important. You do not get involved with an asshole like your dad. Learn from this. When you're attracted to some guy, realize the guy you're attracted to is gonna do this to you. So don't go out with guys you're super attracted to. Do you understand me?

16:45 Caller This is my dad, though.

16:46 Drew Huh?

16:46 Caller This is my dad.

16:47 Drew I'm not saying hate your dad. Your number one priority is to be taking care of Shauna. And because your dad is who he is, that's the kind of person you're gonna be attracted to. And you need to learn to read that and not go after those kinds of guys, because it's gonna make you very unhappy.

17:00 Adam Well, do you have a dilemma about telling your mom about this?

17:05 Caller Well, I don't want them to get divorced, because this was really late at night, then my dad came home and my mom started yelling. She was saying awful things like, you know, cussing, and I don't hear my mom cuss.

17:16 Drew Can you confront your dad?

17:18 Caller I've tried to kind of wheel him into a trap, like I ask, you know, dad, who is that?

17:23 Drew No, no, no, no, no, no.

17:24 Adam He dug a hole in the living room, covered it with a bathrobe, put a six-pack in the middle of it, he stepped in, he got a lake caught.

17:30 Drew He just bring with a net on it. Catch him hanging upside down.

17:35 Caller Oh, wait a minute.

17:36 Drew But listen, it's not about catching.

17:38 Adam Let me tell you something about you crazy broads with this stuff. Women have infinite energy for this stuff. I think back to producer Anne and her. Producer Anne, her favorite hobby is milking guys for, is milking them, I should say, for information about a bachelor party and then feeding the information back to their wife and stuff. Yeah. Like little fire starter is exactly right. Here's the deal. I don't know. You're 16, you're like in the 11th grade or you're knee deep in high school. Everyone else I know's parents were divorced by the time they were nine. I mean, your parents are together till you're 16. That's a pretty good run. You're not, hold on a second. Listen, you're not going to be able to do anything about this. Well, you're not going to be able to do anything about it.

18:28 Drew That was my opening shot was, hey, just take care of yourself and make sure you'll get attracted to this guy. But she does have one play if she really wants to put some energy into it.

18:35 Caller But I really don't want my parents to get the wrong one.

18:36 Drew All right. So here's your one. This is your one shot and it may or may not work.

18:40 Adam Get cancer.

18:41 Drew No, it's to go to dad and say this, you are harming me. You are really hurting me. I know what you're doing. You're hurting mom. It's killing me. I don't want you to get a divorce. Understand your behavior. Forgetting to get any specifics about it just so your behavior is harming me and it's hurting your daughter badly. And if you care about me, you'll cut this crap out. That's it. That's your one play.

19:03 Adam Play that.

19:04 Caller All right. And I have one more question.

19:05 Adam And then you got to get on in life and you got to go far away to college.

19:09 Drew Yes, that's right.

19:10 Caller OK, thanks. And I have one more question. Now, this is really, really, really different, but it's kind of gross. What happens is, is that I have this dog. And is it bad that my dog licks my crotch hair? Because, I mean, because when I get horny, my dog, you know, since it's a dog and it likes to lick crotch hair, I just let it do it and kind of feels good. Will I get any, like, diseases or anything?

19:35 Adam No, she won't with that ringworm or something.

19:38 Caller No, but how are your relationships with the dog?

19:43 Drew No, with people.

19:44 Adam Oh, I see.

19:45 Drew So kind of kind of crazy.

19:47 Adam Do you talk to people? Why would you talk to people?

19:49 Drew Your relationship is kind of crazy, Shauna.

19:50 Caller What is it?

19:51 Drew Are your relationships kind of crazy with boys?

19:53 Caller No, not really.

19:54 Adam What kind of dog is it?

19:55 Drew Be very careful.

19:56 Caller It's Labrador.

20:01 Adam What kind of dog would have been acceptable to perform oral sex on her?

20:06 Drew The Cocker Spaniel.

20:08 Adam Yeah, it's funny. Labs, you kind of like. Chihuahua, it's like, yeah, get down there and eat it, you little crampy piece of ass. But labs are kind of like, oh, yeah. Black Lab?

20:19 No, golden.

20:20 Adam Yeah, try the black one. Black ones don't go down on chicks. It's true.

20:26 So I'll be okay.

20:27 Adam They'll bang the bejesus out of you, but they won't go down on anything that gets up and won't eat anything that gets up and walks away when they're done. That's what they say.

20:35 Drew In my experience, Shauna, women that, and this is not an uncommon thing, believe it or not, but the women I've dealt with who admitted to this kind of thing, usually have got some significant sort of character logic stuff going on. They have difficulty knowing who they are and who they are in relationships, and this kind of family is a good source of those kinds of problems.

20:51 Adam Let me defend young Shauna for one moment.

20:54 Drew Who can defend? What's to defend?

20:55 Adam Well, I think we all rushed to judgment when we hear about someone whose dog is performing fellatio.

21:02 Drew Did I judge her?

21:03 Adam We rushed to judgment.

21:04 Drew Who's judging?

21:05 Adam I saw the puss you put on when she talked about her dog giving her oral, and I think we all immediately jumped to some kind of place, like somewhere between sadist and retard when we're thinking about the person. Satard. That would be my name if I came from another planet.

21:21 Drew All I know is if you had a vagina, you'd have a cattle.

21:28 Adam Yeah.

21:28 Drew You'd have a cattle to train dogs.

21:30 Adam That's right.

21:30 Drew You'd have to rotate them.

21:32 Adam I would eat giblets just so it gave off that snake to attract young pets to my crotch. Here's what I'm saying. Many women discover some pleasure with the vagina at some point, whether it be the bathtub or the vibrator, and they get kind of, they become like MacGyver because it's not okay for them to masturbate sometimes or it's not okay for them to get a vibrator, so they end up getting into back massagers and electric toothbrushes and bathtubs and jacuzzis and whirlpools, and they get real crazy with stuff. If a dog did this and you're like, hey, that feels good, I could see you going, I'll let them do it. Now, if you're rubbing pate on it twice a day, that's one thing, but just kind of letting them do it once in a while, I don't think that necessarily means you're a mess. It sounds very suspicious and pretty weird, but I think if you just step back from it, I mean, how much weirder is it than the bathtub in a certain sense?

22:37 Drew I'm just saying that in my experience, the women that discussed that with me have been people with stuff.

22:42 Adam It does, but every chick we know has done the tub. Why is this so much weirder?

22:48 Drew Because it's a mouth and not a spigot.

22:52 Adam The spigot's what the tub has?

22:53 Drew Yeah.

22:54 Adam I see. I know, but you know what I'm saying. It's cheap pleasure and no one gets hurt.

23:01 Drew Yeah. I'm not passing judgment. I don't do that. I cringe. I cringe, but I'm not judging.

23:08 Adam I don't do that.

23:10 Drew Do I judge? I have righteous indignation.

23:12 Adam A week ago, you told one of our callers that if your kid went to Cal State Northridge, you would kill yourself. Yeah.

23:18 Drew Me. I don't judge anybody else for doing that.

23:22 Adam Tara, don't call me Tara, is fighting to escape academic probation at that school that you speak about.

23:32 Drew She just told me she's going out to GW. She's going to transfer to George Washington.

23:36 Adam We were going to take ourselves a little break. Dr. Drew is over here. When we come back, we'll speak to Carl, 22.

23:43 Caller Get severe hiccups?

23:44 Adam No, no.

23:47 Caller All right.

23:48 Adam Well, a very titillating and arousing call when we come back.

24:27 Caller Hey, everybody.

24:29 Adam It's the Love Line, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191.

24:37 Caller Oh. Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.

24:39 Adam Let's hop back to the phones and... Chigga, mugger, mugger, mugger, mugger, chigga, chigga. Chigga, mugger, chigga, chigga, mugger, mugger, chigga, chigga, mugger.

24:58 Caller Feels good, doesn't it?

24:59 Adam Does feel good. We got to start a band. Missy?

25:03 Yeah.

25:03 Yes.

25:04 Adam At 13, how do you know what you are? Well, you know, I know a lot more things than the average person.

25:09 Drew 13, how do you know what you are?

25:11 Well, you know, I know a lot more things than the average 13-year-old would.

25:16 Drew Nope.

25:17 Adam I'm about ready to gamble.

25:18 Drew Should we? It just means you were sexually abused, if you know more than the average 13-year-old.

25:24 Adam What happened?

25:25 Actually, I don't ever recall any time like that.

25:29 Adam Really?

25:30 Yeah.

25:30 Drew Well, how old were you when you started having sex?

25:33 Well, I haven't really had, not with the guys, but I had with girls. I was about 10.

25:40 Drew That's sexual abuse, right? Hell was the person.

25:43 Around the same age.

25:44 Adam Yeah, but child, not necessarily sexual abuse.

25:48 Drew Child on child sexual abuse is a very common form of abuse. Yeah, it's called experimentation. No, not if it becomes overly sexual. What kind of activity were you getting into at 10?

25:58 Just, you know, banger and stuff.

26:02 Drew Yeah, that's enough. That's enough. A little more. Again, when it becomes towards arousal and overly sexual and towards orgasm, that is not normal. And that's because probably your friend was sexually abused by an adult and then she starts doing weird stuff with her peers. And that's sexual abuse and that screws with your wiring. You don't know what you are after that.

26:23 Adam I've just had a conversation with some friends about this stuff and about how you are about it and how... I was talking to these guys like F, the F word was one of the first words I knew as a kid remembering. And I was talking to these guys, my friends, keep in mind. But we were six, seven, eight years old. We knew what F-ing was and this was and how that worked and what it was for. And we knew all that stuff and there was experimentation going on too. And it wasn't, it was sexual in the sense that you knew it was naughty but it wasn't driven because there was no juice in the tank. You know what I'm saying?

27:02 Drew The two guys in Dally are talking about were both sexual compulsives. You're a compulsive masturbator. Okay, you make my point for me.

27:07 Adam How dare you? All right, maybe it's right.

27:13 Okay.

27:14 Adam I wept and masturbated at the Burbank Airport today.

27:16 Drew Oh, God.

27:18 Adam Hey, Missy.

27:19 Drew Oh, my God.

27:20 Adam You never been with a guy?

27:22 Not that way.

27:24 Drew You know, what way have you been with a guy?

27:26 I mean, just like going out, you know, kiss him. That's about it.

27:30 Adam Well, how do you know you're into guys then?

27:33 Well, you know, I have the I feel like attracted to them as well as I do girls.

27:38 Adam All right. Well, what's up with your family? They screwy?

27:41 Well, when I was about four, my parents divorced. Excuse my language, but my stepdad's a real asshole.

27:50 Adam All right. Yeah, that sounds about right. Did he do anything? Did he hit you or?

27:55 He's just whenever I try to speak with my mom, he always gets in the way. And I talked to her the other night and I told her that she might not notice it, but it kind of seems like she's like a Nazi following Hitler. You know, it's just like how I see it.

28:14 Drew Or a Fembot.

28:15 Adam Yeah. Following...

28:18 Drew Master Cylinder.

28:19 Adam No, wait a minute. I thought the Fembots were from the Six Million Dollar Man or something.

28:24 Drew No, it's from Spy of Chagme.

28:28 Adam Yeah, Austin Powers, but Fembots were around before.

28:31 Drew Really?

28:31 Adam He ripped those off or something.

28:33 Drew Oh, is that right?

28:34 Adam Oh.

28:35 Drew I didn't know that.

28:35 Adam Oh, is he Drew?

28:36 Drew Yeah, I didn't know.

28:37 Adam That's interesting. Yeah, you wouldn't know when someone's doing a send up of something because you never saw the original or heard of anything. Interesting. You know that movie Airplane?

28:47 Drew I do know about that.

28:48 Adam It was a takeoff on those airport movies from the 70s.

28:50 Drew Airport movies?

28:51 Adam Thank you. Missy?

28:53 Yeah.

28:54 Adam Uh, yeah. So, all right, so maybe you're bisexual.

29:00 Drew Whatever, you sound like you've got a lot of stuff you're dealing with.

29:03 Caller Well, actually, yes. I try to, you know, really, I don't know how we do it.

29:08 Drew You also sound smart.

29:10 Adam Yeah.

29:11 Drew And you really ought to use that to your advantage. Does your school have any counselors or anything like that?

29:16 Caller Well, yeah, but like, and when I was around in sixth grade, I used to get in a lot of trouble, so I don't feel comfortable talking to them.

29:23 Drew Well, but maybe their job is to be there to help you. Maybe if you went back in there more willfully and more with the desire to get better, you'd have a different kind of relationship with them. Use those smarts to motivate you to get in and make some change because you're going down a path that can get pretty out of control. And I'm not talking about sexually. I'm just turning the whole situation here is going to create a lot of difficult feelings.

29:44 Adam All right. Now I will not rest until I know whether the FemBots were originated on the $6 million man or the bionic woman or get smart. Now.

29:55 Drew Yeah, get smart.

29:56 Adam I don't think it's.

29:56 Drew Yeah.

29:57 Adam Yeah. Drew, stop and think that you're.

30:00 Drew I don't know.

30:00 Adam You think that that's what it is. Then that would be a clue.

30:04 Drew Right.

30:04 Caller Yeah. Good point.

30:05 Adam Somebody's got to get on the computer and find out where the FemBots came from. Who's that going to be?

30:09 Caller Tara?

30:11 Drew Tara. Not if you call her Tara.

30:12 Adam Tara. Tara. Cal State. North Ridge alum.

30:16 Drew GW.

30:16 Caller She was on her way at the door and you said Tara.

30:18 Adam Sorry, baby. Tara. I don't know. Didn't your parents know this was going to happen? Let me tell you something. I know a Drew's wife, Susan and then I know another chick who spazzes out if you call her Susan because her name is Suzanne. I got to do it. It drives me insane. Kat. Hey. Call Drew's old lady, Suzanne. She gets PO'd. You call Suzanne Susan. She gets PO'd. Meanwhile, I can't even remember. I can't make a flight. Are you kidding me? Go ahead, Kat.

30:52 Hey, how are you guys doing?

30:53 Adam Good.

30:53 I have to admit I'm a little bit nervous to be on the air.

30:55 Adam That's all right.

30:57 I'm first calling because yesterday I heard you complaining about your facial hair problem.

31:03 Drew Just yesterday? That was the first time you heard about it?

31:05 Adam That was Drew talking about my ingrown hairs on my neck.

31:09 That might be it.

31:10 Adam Yeah.

31:11 There's a product called Magic Powder, and it's in the ethnic hair care section.

31:16 Drew Yeah. We know that kind of stuff.

31:18 Adam What do you do with that?

31:19 Drew I told him he should use it more frequently.

31:20 Adam Well, hold on.

31:21 I use that on every part of my body except my head, and it is amazing.

31:26 Adam Are you white?

31:26 Yes, I'm white.

31:27 Adam Do you need to go in with a black person to buy that stuff?

31:31 I don't think that they're going to card you and look for, you know, yes.

31:34 Adam They will not sell to honkies at those places.

31:38 You can't even get it at any drugstore.

31:40 Drew What do they call it now?

31:41 It's called magic powder. It comes in four different kinds.

31:44 Drew Is it that funky smelling stuff?

31:46 You know, it's all funky smelling except the silver one.

31:50 Adam And what do you do with it?

31:52 You mix it with water and then you kind of use a cake frosting spatula.

31:57 Drew You put it all over your body?

31:58 You frost yourself basically.

31:59 Adam Oh, and then the hair just falls off?

32:01 Well, what you do is you wait ten minutes.

32:04 Adam Yeah.

32:04 And I know that time is like a long time to sit still, but...

32:06 Drew God bless women with the stuff they go through for this.

32:09 And then you just take the same spatula that you frosted yourself with and you scrape it all off.

32:13 Drew And all you have to do is rub in a patch on your neck. She's doing it every inch of her body.

32:17 Adam I know, but listen...

32:18 Caller Knuckles don't have hair.

32:20 Adam Drew, you are talking to the man who if there are no socks or T-shirt downstairs, will then pull the jacket over his bare body and come into work because he's too goddamn lazy to go upstairs and get a T-shirt. That's who you're talking to, Drew. Yeah, you understand, most problems I have are very easy to solve, but I have zero... I cannot burn one calorie toward them.

32:44 Drew You need like a...

32:45 Adam I need an elf is what I need.

32:47 Caller You understand?

32:48 Adam I need Kazoo.

32:49 Drew Kazoo. Kazoo from the Flintstones. A little sort of an Asian guy will... You know what I mean?

32:54 Adam Why do you have to get ethnic all the time?

32:57 Drew I'm thinking of there's a character. No, stop it. What was the guy that had a character, an Asian caretaker?

33:03 Adam Well, Asian... Oh, well...

33:05 Drew Little.

33:05 Adam Okay, well now hold on. There was Mrs. Livingston from the courtship of Eddie's father.

33:10 Drew Yeah, Cato.

33:10 Adam And then there was Cato from the Green Hornet.

33:14 Drew I think I'm thinking of Cato.

33:15 Adam And there was also a Cato from the Pink Panther, strikes back. And then there was the Hap Sing, the Cook from Bonanza. Those are all the most famous Asians in the world.

33:27 Drew Weren't there a cartoon? Wasn't there a cartoon?

33:29 Caller Whoa!

33:31 Drew Wasn't there a cartoon with that?

33:32 Adam Johnny Quest had that Indian kid, Haji.

33:35 Drew Haji.

33:35 Adam I could use Haji. I need somebody. Beam, beam, sell a beam. You know what I need is I need a second. I need someone to do my bidding.

33:41 Drew Haji can make you levitate too.

33:44 Adam Someone to rub this lather on my neck so the hair falls out. Thank you.

33:48 I would love to help you, Adam.

33:49 Adam Thank you. Thank you. Are you Asian?

33:51 No.

33:52 Adam Sorry. I'm sorry.

33:53 Drew It's okay.

33:54 Adam It's not going to work. But thank you for the advice.

33:56 Drew Cartoon.

33:57 I have another question.

33:58 Drew Cartoon character.

33:58 Adam Yes.

33:58 Drew What's up?

33:59 Well, actually, it's a really loaded question. I have no history of abuse. I don't do any drugs. I don't drink. I'm really a pretty straight edge kind of girl. But I can't seem to get sexually aroused unless there's some sort of violence, some sort of infliction of pain. And I've been into the BDSM scene since I was old enough to get in pretty much. The what?

34:23 Drew Bondage.

34:24 Yeah. Well, it's not really- I'm not into BDSM. I'm into DNS, which is dominance and submission, and SNM, which is sadism and masochism.

34:32 Adam In the BDSM?

34:33 Yeah. I don't get into being tied up, so the bondage part doesn't really count.

34:36 Adam That's the bondage and sadomasochism?

34:39 Drew Is that fitness? Bondage, dominance, and sin-

34:41 Bondage and discipline, dominance, submission, and sadism and masochism is-

34:46 Drew Whatever.

34:46 Adam That whole thing was stuff.

34:47 Anyway. So, foreplay for me pretty much consists of grabbing me by the back of my head, slapping me around, slamming me against the wall.

34:56 Drew But you actually- it's not playfully. It has to be done with-

34:59 I want it to be done forcefully.

35:00 Drew But you have to hurt.

35:02 Yeah. If he's checking in with me and saying, are you okay? It's really ruining it for me. It's not a big deal because I have enough friends who are in the scene that can do all these things for me. But I'm starting to think maybe there's something about it.

35:16 Adam Well, what do you want? Would you give the guy BJ when he was doing that?

35:22 Well, sure. As long as he's being confident and forceful, I feel like I'm safe and controlled.

35:31 Adam Does he does stuff for you? Does he go down on you?

35:35 Very few guys are really into that whole eat out the girl thing.

35:40 Drew What?

35:41 I look for them a lot.

35:42 Drew Why?

35:43 They aren't that easy to find.

35:45 Adam Well, not in that business.

35:46 Not in Seattle.

35:48 Adam Well, no. I mean not in the BDSM business.

35:50 Well, then you get a dominant guy and if you were to serve a girl, yeah, I know.

35:54 Adam Yeah, it goes against the code. How can you dominate and go down on a chick?

35:59 Because I'm anti-climactic anyway.

36:03 Drew What does it mean? You don't have an orgasm?

36:05 I don't have orgasms when I'm with other people.

36:07 Adam All right.

36:08 It's not like I care whether or not they go down on me. It's just all part of the-

36:11 Adam I'll tell you between this and the depilatory, you and I can hang.

36:15 You know what?

36:16 Adam I think we could. You're just blowing me while I'm pulling the-

36:19 Well, you know, I'm not going to put my mouth on you, frosted. Yeah, that's not going to work.

36:22 Adam No, no, you go down on the penis.

36:24 Well, you do it on your face.

36:26 Adam I actually pull stuff out of my neck.

36:28 I see.

36:28 Adam Yeah, and grown hairs.

36:29 Drew And you pull her hair too.

36:30 Adam All right. I don't know what her deal is.

36:33 Drew Well, it'd be-

36:34 Adam Is there a certain percentage of people that are into this?

36:36 Drew Oh, sure.

36:37 Adam Just born to do this?

36:39 Drew Yeah, yeah.

36:39 Adam But look, if you can be- hold on. I don't want to offend the gay listeners, but if you can be biologically born into blowing dudes, don't you think spanking a little ass is within God's spectrum?

36:53 Drew Of biology?

36:54 Adam Yes. What did you say?

36:56 Drew There's no doubt. Like with any human behavior, it's a little biology, a little environment. But I'm curious that she was very clear that what this did for her, most people that are into this stuff aren't as clear about what function it serves for them. She said it makes her feel safe to feel sexual. She can't feel sexual unless she's being dominant because then she feels safe to feel sexual.

37:14 Adam She just wants to have somebody over her.

37:17 Drew No, she said that.

37:18 Adam Yeah, I know. But I heard it too, but can't?

37:21 Yeah, I'm here.

37:22 Adam I mean, you want to feel like someone is in control, otherwise you might feel out of control.

37:28 You think that's true? That's part of it.

37:30 Adam So is your dad a pussy?

37:33 No, my dad is actually a very dominant guy and my mom was always very submissive to him, but there was no abuse in their relationship.

37:39 Drew He never did anything violent to her. Did you always have a sense of him being a very aggressive guy, even though he didn't act it out?

37:47 Yeah. I took a lot of psychology in college and I did figure a bunch of it out, that I'm attracted to dominant men because my dad is a dominant man, the physical strength because he's a large guy, that kind of stuff. But there's more to it. I'm even into the age play aspect of it where you do daddy's little girl roles or capital roles.

38:10 Drew So doesn't that suggest maybe you're sort of stuck developmentally in some way?

38:14 I'm thinking it's never too late to have a happy childhood, but eventually I want to be working towards something.

38:18 Adam It's too late for me, Antra.

38:21 Drew Then therapy, therapy, therapy, therapy. There you go.

38:23 Adam Therapy. Let's just say hi to Jenny. I know we're running late for break. Jenny?

38:28 Yeah.

38:29 Adam Twenty? No guy and every few girls can get her on. Very few girls. Are you bisexual?

38:38 Yes.

38:40 Adam Are you not into guys?

38:42 Caller Well, I'm more into guys than chicks. I just sometimes I like to play with girls.

38:47 Adam What do you call them?

38:49 Caller Shicks. Shicks?

38:51 Adam Okay. All right there, baby. Well, hold on a second. Why don't you tell me a good lesbian story when we come back. All right? Save a good one.

39:04 Drew You're a lesbian.

39:05 Adam We'll be back and talk to Jenny about that after this.

39:09 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back.

40:11 Caller I do, I prefer penis, but I don't know.

40:14 Drew Not man, just penis. Peony.

40:16 Caller What?

40:17 Drew Yeah, okay. Ray, what's your question for us?

40:21 Caller Like I was telling the guy from before, I've played with a lot of people, but I've never been able to get off in front of somebody. I can masturbate just fine, and I've tried to teach people, but I don't know.

40:34 Drew Try to teach people how to do that to you?

40:36 Caller Yeah.

40:36 Drew Were those men or women? Were those men or women you tried to teach?

40:42 Caller Both.

40:42 Drew Both. And nobody, you couldn't hang with that, or they couldn't do it, or what happened with that?

40:47 Caller Well, it was kind of, it's kind of been both. It used to be just that I felt bad that it would take so long, so I'd stop people. But I haven't done that with my boyfriend. And I don't know. I get pretty turned on when we play, but it was really interesting because I was listening to Cat's Story, because me and my boyfriend are in the BD and S&M stuff, which gets me pretty turned on. But I know by the point we have sex, I'm like, whatever. You know, I get pretty bored.

41:11 Adam Well, are you screwy?

41:15 Caller Screwy?

41:15 Adam Yeah. You got any problems? You're kind of weird.

41:19 Caller I don't know if you call them problems. I am in therapy right now for previous stuff, which is probably my problem with in bed.

41:27 Adam Well, what happened?

41:31 Caller Well, I was diagnosed with menopause when I was 18. My father died when I was 13.

41:42 Drew Of what?

41:43 Hepatitis C.

41:44 Drew So he was a heron ant?

41:45 Adam Junkie?

41:47 Caller No. He gave me some excuse when I was younger, but he was probably... I know when I was young, my parents used to be in the party and still, and they did a lot of drugs.

41:56 Drew He was not a drug user, for sure.

41:58 Caller Probably. Now it looks like my mom has the same problem.

42:02 Drew Yeah. Okay.

42:03 Caller I mean, I didn't have a parents' doctor, but I'm trying to work on it.

42:07 Drew All right. Well, good. You know what's interesting is that when you look at the biology of how your brain develops, and when you've been in these highly, highly...

42:15 Adam I'm just angry because she used the S word for no reason on the air. It's like your dad died from complications. I hepatized you like he was a junkie. No, he gave me some BS story about doing drugs, and it's like, yeah, just say yes. Just say yes to everybody. Just yes to everything.

42:35 Drew But your brain develops yes, is that if you have overly arousing experiences, it can actually change the structure of your brain. It prunes itself. So your ability to respond to arousal normally becomes blunted in some situations.

42:50 Caller Yeah, because like I was saying earlier, I feel like I'm under sensitive.

42:54 Adam Well, you grow up in a pretty, in the spin cycle.

42:58 Drew What's fascinating to me is that you-

42:59 Adam A coin up laundry machine.

43:00 Drew Adam, you had an under stimulating environment you were growing in. You have a similar kind of thing where your engine doesn't run at a normal pace.

43:08 Adam Yeah, right.

43:08 Drew This woman, it was had overly arousing, and the brain sort of cleans out that area, the interconnections of the brain prune down.

43:16 Adam Right.

43:16 Drew And she can't get her engine going.

43:18 Adam Right.

43:18 Drew It's interesting.

43:19 Adam Yeah. The Corollas aren't what you call personality driven folks.

43:24 Drew No, not connected.

43:27 Adam No, no. My mom was quite a showman, though.

43:30 Drew Freak out.

43:34 Adam My mom would just smoke weed and nap all day. And my dad, my dad's idea of a good conversation was just reading a book, not a big talker.

43:43 Drew But and so, you know, so you didn't get the normal sort of autonomic development. You're an autonomic, you're endowed.

43:49 Adam Well, let's.

43:50 Drew No, it's true.

43:50 Adam To be fair to my parents, I had TV.

43:53 Drew Yeah, it probably helped a little bit.

43:54 Adam Yeah. I mean, they did have enough sense to get a TV.

43:58 Drew And then this other this girl we were just talking to, Jenny, things were so arousing that she had to sort of screen out in order to survive. It's very interesting.

44:06 Adam Now, we've got to stick with the therapy. Yeah, absolutely.

44:09 Drew We have two callers, both of whom have different opinions about where the term FEMBOT came from. It's Wes and Kevin.

44:16 Adam Wes, Kevin? Yeah. Yeah. Hey. Hey, what's up? Yeah, Drew, uh... Drew, we somehow stumbled on FEMBOT. I think Drew brought it up a few moments ago. And then, I said what? I said something and Drew said, well, that is from...

44:36 Drew No, you said, somebody said Get Smart. I thought, oh, that seems like where I've heard it.

44:41 Adam Hold on a second.

44:42 Drew Somebody in there said...

44:43 Adam No, no, here's what happened. FEMBOT came up and you said, that's from Austin Powers.

44:49 Drew Right.

44:50 Adam That's right. And I said, no.

44:52 Drew Yeah, and I said, whoa, I didn't think about that.

44:54 Adam That doesn't sound right.

44:55 Drew And somebody said something.

44:56 Adam And Drew, and as I pointed out, if you know, it came from a certain, if there's some piece of...

45:04 Drew American cultural history.

45:05 Adam American cultural history that you're aware of, you gotta know you're wrong.

45:07 Drew Yeah, of course.

45:08 Adam So I said what? What was my answer?

45:10 Drew You said $6 million man.

45:12 Adam Or?

45:12 Drew Or Bionic Woman.

45:14 Adam Thank you. Now what is the answer?

45:15 Drew Which is basically the same show, right?

45:17 Adam No.

45:18 Drew was definitely wrong.

45:20 Drew Of course, we established that.

45:22 Yeah. The thing I got was Bionic Woman.

45:25 Drew Where'd you get that?

45:27 I searched for it online. I found it at actually a $6 million band and Bionic Woman site.

45:34 Drew That's a cabin.

45:34 They could be closely linked together.

45:36 Adam Well, I think what could have happened, and now Wes, you say it's the $6 million man?

45:42 Yeah.

45:42 Adam See, what I think-

45:43 Probably not as direct as his, but-

45:45 Adam What I think happened, and by the way, you guys are going to make a great gay couple one day. I'm going to get you two together. You guys can sit up and look up nonsense all night long. I think what happened was is the Fembots may have started off on one show and made it onto the next.

46:03 Drew Right. The show became about the Fembots, right?

46:05 Adam No, like the Fembots showed up, did battle with the $6 million man, and then a season later showed up and did battle with the Bionic Woman.

46:15 Drew The Fembots were bad guys.

46:17 Adam Oh, yeah. Fembots are not. Anything with the word bot in it is no good.

46:22 Drew Robot, Fembot.

46:23 Caller Adam.

46:24 Adam Yeah.

46:24 Caller I called a few weeks ago at the answer to the Allman Brothers question.

46:29 Adam Tied to the whipping pose?

46:30 Caller Yep.

46:31 Caller Oh, boy.

46:32 Adam What was the answer to that, though?

46:34 Caller You were wondering who it was by, and you thought it was by the Allman Brothers. I just confirmed it.

46:39 Adam Oh, thank you.

46:40 Caller Yeah.

46:40 Adam Thank you, Kevin. Thank you, Wes.

46:42 Adam.

46:43 Adam Yes.

46:43 Do you think you can do me a favor?

46:45 Adam Yeah.

46:45 Can you play the Dr. Drew Boogie?

46:48 Adam Yeah, we'll do that. We'll do that after the break, all right?

46:50 All right.

46:51 Adam Thanks. Thanks for the work.

46:52 Drew Well, Anderson White is tired of that.

46:55 Adam You know what I like about this radio? I don't, this is how I want life to be, which is, I don't know how to work a computer, but if I can yell into a microphone, if someone can give me an answer, then they give it to me.

47:07 Drew So you don't have to worry about the computer.

47:08 Adam Ironically, I only get the answers that I get in advance.

47:12 Drew That you already know the answer to?

47:13 Adam The ones I don't have the answer to, we never get a satisfactory answer for. It's an interesting thing, and then, Drew, or maybe it just goes down that way. We'll take a little break. We'll be back with more pressing issues like Fembotism after this. Oh, I wasn't ready.

48:27 Caller Whatever.

48:29 Adam I wasn't focused. I thought it was on the next downbeat. Hey, it's Loveline. You want to try it again, Anderson?

48:36 Drew No, no, no, no, no, no. It's kind of a relief having you screw that up. It's good. Let's keep going.

48:40 All right.

48:42 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Drew. I just found out our security guard didn't know the village people were gay.

48:51 Drew What did he think they were?

48:53 Adam Just one hell of a rock band. I guess.

48:56 Drew Just perpetual and what?

48:58 He's a security guard.

49:00 Caller Okay. Here we go.

49:01 Adam Me and Damian were just having a interesting conversation. Did he argue with you about it? No, he was just standing by while we're having a laugh about the village people and about why didn't we know they were gay when they came out 15 or 20 years ago? Jesus, 20 something years ago. Well, I was saying that when village people made the scene in the late 70s, late 70s, I'd say, 78, 79, all my friends were 13 years old and we thought, hey, look at this funny dress-up band.

49:34 Drew Well, you bought that first song. What was the first one? Well, because the YMCA, when the YMCA went hit, it went, okay, all right.

49:41 Adam In the Navy should have been a tip-off to a lot of the boys.

49:44 Drew There was one before YMCA that wasn't there.

49:47 Adam Felchme. I can't think of the name of that one.

49:50 Drew I can't believe it was the album too.

49:51 Adam Here's my point. I'm saying that gays were not in the mainstream. No one was talking. You didn't hear radio, DJs making fun of these guys.

50:00 Drew Right.

50:01 Adam Think about what radio DJs would be like now, if you're playing the village people, they'd be making all the off-handed remarks and jokes, and double entendres and things like that. I was saying to Damien, well, look, we were 12, 13 years old, what the hell did we know from gay? Where were all the older brothers? Where was-

50:22 Drew They were with their male friends.

50:24 Adam Why weren't they yelling at us, these guys are fags? You see what I'm saying?

50:27 Drew No, yeah.

50:28 Adam They didn't know either.

50:29 Drew But my kid's interesting. They seem to understand.

50:31 Adam Neither does our security guard, but he's-

50:35 Drew Long time ago. My kids seem to understand what this is. It's interesting. They don't seem to have a negative-

50:41 Adam They understand the gay thing.

50:42 Drew Yeah. I'm watching them grapple and stuff. They kind of, whatever. They don't have a negative, which is nice.

50:50 Adam Yeah. I think they grew up. Is it true that your kids or kids around that age, may be sort of the first generation, just to grow up with gay? Gay politicians, gay actors.

51:07 Drew It seems like it. That sort of 8 to 12 age group, which is the one I'm watching because my own kids are 9, they seem to have- they don't see color. They have trouble even describing people of different racial ethnicities.

51:20 Adam Oh. Well, that's wrong. That's wrong.

51:22 Drew I mean, they'll kind of go, well, this guy is kind of brown skin and curly hair, but they won't say- they have no idea of what that means or that you could group people like that together. Just this- my friend has brown skin and curly hair.

51:35 Adam That's it.

51:36 Drew Period. And the same thing with the gay thing. It's like, okay, all right, they're gay. You know, they're two boys like each other. Oh, I got it. All right.

51:41 Adam Well, listen, I've told you, I worry a lot about the humor of this new culture.

51:46 Drew That there'll be no- it'll be humorless if we can't categorize people?

51:49 Adam Without-

51:50 Drew Well, they'll always be profiling Adam. It'll be fine.

51:52 Caller Don't worry.

51:53 Adam The Pollocks and the Guineas and the Micks, you know, and the homo jokes. I mean, you see what I'm saying?

51:59 Yeah.

51:59 Adam I'm worried because-

52:00 Caller Don Rickles will be forgotten.

52:05 Adam That's the backbone of almost all good jokes and good young humors, that Pollock humor. Carol?

52:12 Yeah. One FEMBOT said to another, no.

52:15 Adam You're 50. What's up?

52:17 Caller It was John Housman that was their controller.

52:20 Drew John Housman?

52:22 Adam Yes, from the paper chase. He and him and also from the Smith. Was he from the Smith Barney commercials too?

52:30 Caller I'm not sure.

52:31 Adam Yeah, I think he was.

52:32 Drew The old-fashioned way.

52:33 Caller Yeah.

52:34 Adam They earn it.

52:34 Caller Well, back to the point.

52:36 Adam He was the controllers of the FEMBOTs.

52:38 Caller I remember they were changing the weather.

52:41 Adam The FEMBOTs were?

52:41 Caller Yeah.

52:42 Adam Right. They had like a storm front in their vaginas. They would let them out.

52:46 Caller Yeah, exactly.

52:48 Adam Yeah. Was that, is that 6 million dollars? Bionic woman. Yeah.

52:51 Caller For sure.

52:51 Adam Okay.

52:52 Caller I know that not from the net, but from watching.

52:54 Drew I was reminded tonight also that I was watching that 70s show and they had a thing about a UFO. And I thought, you know, the whole UFO thing has died out recently, too.

53:01 Adam Yeah.

53:02 Drew Need more UFO humor and more, you know.

53:04 Adam Yeah. We need to get back to basics.

53:07 Drew We've gotten so sophisticated with the X-Files and all this stuff. This whole fantasy life, it's not a UFO anymore.

53:14 Adam They can explain everything.

53:15 Drew Yeah, they can explain everything.

53:16 Adam Yeah. And we've gotten all caught up in the reality of terrorism and we're missing that sort of bizarre abduction fantasy stuff we used to get admired in.

53:23 Drew Reality is something we're more focused on right now.

53:25 Adam All right there, Carol. What else? Anything?

53:27 Caller You two are my gods.

53:29 Adam Thanks.

53:29 Drew Oh, Carol.

53:30 Adam What's up with you?

53:32 Drew You have kids?

53:33 Caller No.

53:33 Drew No.

53:34 Caller No.

53:35 What happened?

53:37 Caller It's a long story, Drew, but you've helped me piece a lot of it together.

53:40 Drew Oh, God bless you.

53:41 Caller Nothing bad.

53:42 Drew You're doing okay now? You happy? What's the matter?

53:46 Caller Got some movements to make still, yeah.

53:48 Drew What's the matter?

53:50 Caller Do you answer your email, Drew?

53:52 Drew At drew.com?

53:53 Caller Yeah, at drdrew.com or loveline.com?

53:57 Drew It doesn't go directly to me, but it's supposed to get to me, so go ahead and send it to me.

54:00 Adam There's a loveline.com?

54:02 Caller Yes. Earth link or something like that?

54:05 Adam She's laughing like I'm kidding.

54:07 Drew Zeph does get to me, though, the e-mails, but drew.com, I get them like every month or so, so go ahead and send something there.

54:13 Adam You know what I find interesting about this show? I know I've created it myself. I mean, this vacuum I live in, but I always had this fantasy that if you did a radio show, especially national one, you'd be in a deal with mail.

54:25 Drew People bring sacks of letters in for you?

54:27 Adam Sacks of mail, requests. I'd make a Pollock joke. We'd get a bunch of mail on it. Drew, you sit here every night, right?

54:35 Drew That's the people we're listening to.

54:36 Adam How many pieces of mail do you think I get a year?

54:39 Drew We don't know because we don't see it. They know better than to even bring it by you. You yell at people if they bring you mail.

54:43 Adam How dare you?

54:44 Drew Are you kidding?

54:45 Adam You know I like the complimentary stuff.

54:48 Drew Where's Lauren? She's not here tonight.

54:49 Adam Okay. I don't think I see four pieces of mail all year. Maybe?

54:55 Drew If it's food, we see it.

54:57 Caller I got some stuff on the Internet to show you.

54:58 Adam Okay. You got stuff on the Internet? Yeah.

55:01 Caller We don't have a loveline.com.

55:03 Adam There isn't one. Yeah.

55:04 Caller loveline.com is actually a dating service or something.

55:07 But there is one called adamanddrew.com.

55:09 Adam There is.

55:09 There's tons of message board stuff for you guys.

55:12 Adam Oh, okay. We've never seen that.

55:14 Drew Seriously, go to drdrew.com because there's actually people that review that stuff and get it to me.

55:19 Adam Carl?

55:20 Hey.

55:21 Adam You're 22?

55:22 Caller Yeah.

55:22 Adam What's up?

55:24 Caller My girlfriend was actually on with David Allen Grier last week, or I guess the week before that. She was the one who wanted to have kids just so she could beat them.

55:33 I don't respect the storytelling.

55:35 Adam Yeah, she didn't like kids.

55:37 Caller Yeah.

55:37 Adam Well, she didn't want to have kids just so she could beat them.

55:40 Drew She said that's the only reason she'd have them.

55:41 Adam She didn't like kids.

55:42 Caller Well, yeah, yeah. Anyhow, she didn't give any respect to Dr. Drew, but she did say that she was glad to talk to you, Adam, but she wanted to let me know that Dr. Drew, she was happy to talk to you, too.

55:52 Drew That's nice. I feel like I've been bothered by that all week, too, Adam.

55:55 Caller Well, you said something about it. You said like, oh, everyone likes Adam, but no one likes me. So anyhow, my problem is that I get really, really, really bad hiccups, like all the time. And I mean, I would say once every three days, I get hiccups.

56:11 Drew How long has that been happening for?

56:13 Caller It's happened as far back as I can remember, but they've been getting worse and worse as I get older.

56:19 Drew Do you take any medication?

56:21 Caller No, I don't take any medication.

56:21 Drew Do you have heartburn?

56:23 Caller Heartburn? I eat a lot of spicy food, but I don't think I really get heartburn. I have a problem with that or anything.

56:29 Drew Do you drink much alcohol?

56:30 Caller None.

56:31 Drew One of the ways you can get hiccups is by causing an irritation in the esophagus or gastric lining, stomach lining.

56:37 Caller I wonder if that's because I eat the spicy food.

56:39 Drew It's possible. The other thing you worry about is something going on under the diaphragm, something pushing up on the diaphragm, irritates something under the liver.

56:47 Adam Why does booze give you the hiccups?

56:49 Drew Because it causes gastritis. In my experience, that's been the primary issue. People get these horrible erosions in their esophagus and their stomach.

56:55 Adam Erosions? No, I just mean if you get drunk one night, you'll sometimes get hiccups.

56:59 Drew You can get nasty irritation in your stomach for just one night.

57:01 Adam But you don't feel the irritation.

57:03 Drew Not necessarily, no.

57:04 Caller It seems to happen actually more when I'm in, like it really always happens when I'm on a long car ride. Does that have anything to do with it? Like if I'm on a long car ride for more than a couple hours, I'm guaranteed to get hiccups.

57:15 Drew I wonder, I'm just speculating.

57:17 Adam You hang your mouth out the window?

57:18 Drew You may not breathe as deeply, you may not sort of stretch the diaphragm and maybe it starts to spasm a little bit.

57:24 Adam Maybe when he's got the lamp belt too tight or something and he's sitting down or...

57:28 Drew You know, you don't expand your lungs normally when you're sitting like that.

57:31 Adam Well, not when you got a belt pulled across you too.

57:33 Drew Yeah, so maybe that causes, just like with any other muscle that's sort of restricted, sometimes it'll start to spasm on you.

57:38 Caller All right.

57:39 Adam Well, what should you do?

57:41 Drew I think you should talk to your doctor about it just so they can make sure that there isn't something going on. They may want to treat him for gastritis for a few weeks just to see if that helps and then nothing.

57:49 Adam You know, you don't hear much hiccup humor anymore either. It used to be woven in to about every, well, a couple of, here's some hiccup humor.

57:58 Drew The guy that would dump his bottle out after seeing a hallucination or thinking he saw hallucination would be hiccuping.

58:02 Adam Any guy, any drunk on TV was a hiccupper.

58:06 Drew You know what, Foster Brooks had that so mastered I think it just went away after that.

58:10 Adam Right, there was always hiccuping going on for drinkers, but there was always like an episode on a sitcom too where somebody got nervous and when they got nervous they got the hiccups and now it was time to give the presentation in front of the boardroom.

58:22 Drew A woman, always a woman too.

58:23 Adam No, untrue.

58:25 Drew Really?

58:25 Adam What do you mean always a woman for the hiccups?

58:27 Drew Because a guy having hiccups isn't funny.

58:29 Adam Untrue.

58:30 Caller All right.

58:32 Adam I think it's plenty funny when a guy has the hiccups. Watch, watch.

58:36 Drew See?

58:37 Adam No, not funny. I'm just saying that there used to be place in sitcoms for guys getting the hiccups. Yeah. Then you would have to scare them in order to try to get rid of the hiccups and the hilarity ensued. Sarah?

58:50 Hi. I just wanted to say first of all that I love you guys and I listen all the time. Thanks. My question is actually, I was giving a handjob the other night to a guy and I noticed like on the shaft there was like a bumper too and so I was just calling to find out if that's something possibly normal or it's like-

59:07 Drew Did you see it?

59:08 No, I didn't because it was dark.

59:09 Drew So you have to kind of see what it looks like. It could be obvious a wart.

59:13 Yeah.

59:13 Drew There are other sort of irregularities there that can be normal.

59:16 Okay. So it's possibly something-

59:19 Drew Possible, but the wart's a common thing.

59:21 Yeah. How would you suggest going about bringing it up because it's somebody that I like. So-

59:28 Drew What is it you're afraid of if you're going to bring it up? That he's going to be offended and run away?

59:32 Well- I don't know, but I'm thinking it'd probably be something like uncomfortable for him.

59:36 Drew No, I think more than anything. Now, carry me if I'm wrong out of this. If he would bring it up, if he has warts, he's going to be like, oh, Christ, she's going to leave me. If he doesn't have warts, he's going to be, whatever. You gave me a hand job, it's fine. I'm happy. Okay. You know what I'm saying? Is that guy going to be bothered by that? Offended his delicate sensibility? She thinks I have warts, oh my God.

59:54 Adam Well, look, you got to look at it this way. In a perfect world, this guy wished the warts were never there and no one ever knew about him. But this is the second best scenario. Yeah. I mean, here's what I'm saying. There are certain things that you got to deal with when you become a couple, and this can often be one of them. Short of it not existing, this is probably the second best.

1:00:22 Drew Right. You find it ahead of time before it's a problem. He knows he's got it, you bring it up, you deal with it, and that's that.

1:00:27 Adam Yeah. He knows you're interested because you're interested.

1:00:32 Okay.

1:00:32 Adam That's why you're interested.

1:00:34 Okay.

1:00:34 Adam Hey, did this guy have an orgasm?

1:00:37 No. What? I freaked out. Well, I didn't let him know, but I didn't finish the job.

1:00:45 Adam Half a handy?

1:00:46 Yeah.

1:00:47 Adam Kind of. That's punishable by death in Afghanistan. Sure. You get a good beating for that.

1:00:53 Great.

1:00:56 Adam Where were you guys when you were doing this?

1:00:58 In his room.

1:00:59 Adam In his room?

1:01:00 Yeah.

1:01:00 Adam Was he sitting or lying down?

1:01:02 Oh, my God. We were laying down.

1:01:05 Drew Lying down.

1:01:06 Adam See, when I lay down and I get the hand, I'm waiting on the mouth.

1:01:11 Drew Yeah. Oh, I see.

1:01:12 Adam My penis is like, let's go.

1:01:13 I wasn't going to continue by not knowing.

1:01:15 Adam Would you have given the mouth had you not felt the-

1:01:18 No, because I don't know him that well and I don't want to get anything.

1:01:22 Drew This was his house, his home?

1:01:23 Yeah.

1:01:24 Drew Not his parents' home?

1:01:25 No, I'm away at school.

1:01:27 Drew He's a student too at Santa Barbara.

1:01:30 Yeah. If he did have warts, as far as contracting HPV for me, what-

1:01:36 Drew Wear the condoms, he should get them treated before you do that.

1:01:39 Adam You're not going to get anything on your hand though.

1:01:40 No. Yeah, yeah. But if we were to continue-

1:01:43 Drew Yeah. The less wart, the less virus basically.

1:01:48 Okay. Is it possible for me to get the virus without the warts present?

1:01:51 Drew Yes. He should wear a condom no matter what.

1:01:53 So always. Okay.

1:01:54 Adam All right. Yeah. But yeah. All right. Good times there baby. I don't know. Just talk. I don't know. It's uncomfortable to talk to people about this stuff.

1:02:05 Caller Why?

1:02:06 Adam What do you mean why?

1:02:08 Caller Yeah.

1:02:08 Adam It's weird.

1:02:09 Caller Why?

1:02:10 Adam Why?

1:02:10 Drew You've been doing this for five years. Who?

1:02:13 Adam Me?

1:02:13 Drew Yeah.

1:02:13 Adam No, I mean them.

1:02:15 Drew Oh, them you mean?

1:02:16 Adam No, for me, I don't care.

1:02:17 Okay.

1:02:20 Adam You thought I was uncomfortable. I mean, it's going to be weird for her to bring it up.

1:02:25 Yeah.

1:02:26 Drew The initiation is the hardest part.

1:02:27 Adam Yeah. Let me just hold on a second. Sarah?

1:02:31 Yeah.

1:02:32 Adam Where do you come from? Where do you hail from?

1:02:34 Where am I at school?

1:02:35 Drew No, no.

1:02:36 I'm from the Bay Area, California.

1:02:39 Adam Okay. Maybe you'll go back.

1:02:40 Drew You're gay.

1:02:41 Adam After Santa Barbara? Will you go back home after Santa Barbara?

1:02:45 No, probably not.

1:02:46 Adam Staying in Santa Barbara?

1:02:47 Drew Who leaves Santa Barbara? What?

1:02:49 I want to stay in Southern California, but not Santa Barbara. What?

1:02:52 Adam Okay. Just get out of there eventually, would you?

1:02:55 Drew Why? Oh, yeah.

1:02:57 Adam I just saw some friends because another friend got married, and a lot of people I know who went to school in Santa Barbara, they had trouble leaving.

1:03:08 Drew Where are they going to go to? Where are you going to go after that?

1:03:11 Adam Well, here's the deal. Here's the deal with college. It theoretically, it's a stepping stone, not a final destination. I mean, life is about progression, and theoretically, it's about getting better in a way.

1:03:25 Drew You start in heaven, where are you going?

1:03:27 Adam That's right. Were you supposed to just move to purgatory?

1:03:30 Caller Yeah.

1:03:30 Adam After that?

1:03:31 Caller Yeah. Isn't there a purgatory in Utah?

1:03:34 Adam No.

1:03:35 Drew Arizona?

1:03:36 Purgatory?

1:03:38 Drew Arizona?

1:03:39 Adam Damn. Arizona. Maybe. Really? I thought it was a ski resort. Ski resort? Okay. Anyway, here's my point. You go to Santa Barbara and here's what you do. You live on a cliff that overlooks the ocean. You live in this community that's nothing but a bunch of the hottest looking chicks from around the country. Everybody walks around wearing shorts and thongs and riding skateboards all day. And you do nothing but smoke weed and surf. And the college you go to looks like just like a beautiful resort. Look like a golf resort. Like going to Santa, going to school at Santa Barbara is what rich people do four days out of the year if they work hard enough.

1:04:24 Drew What everyone strives to do four days out of the year.

1:04:26 Adam Right. So why the hell are you moving? I know people that went there, they got themselves, they went to school there for like four or five years, and then it was time to go take some entry level piece of ass job out here in the San Fernando Valley.

1:04:38 Drew No way.

1:04:39 Adam No way. Why not just work at a skateboard shop in Santa Barbara? You still be happier.

1:04:44 Drew Is that what they're doing?

1:04:45 Adam Some of them just took like regular jobs and said, screw it, smoke some weed, live by the beach, make enough to pay the bills, get a dog, steal a little cable from the neighbor.

1:04:55 Drew Isn't that kind of catching up with them now?

1:04:59 Adam If you don't have kids, it's kind of like, I mean, who's to joke on? They're happier.

1:05:04 Drew That's my question. I can't imagine not having, you know, you eventually don't have meaning in life with that, you know?

1:05:11 Adam Yeah. Meaning in life, you don't have kids or you don't make money.

1:05:15 Drew Okay. Let's get one.

1:05:16 Adam James?

1:05:17 Caller Yes.

1:05:18 Adam What's up?

1:05:19 Caller Well, I called to rebut a statement that you guys just made. Or at least add clarification to it. I want to say thank you to Dr. Drew. I appreciate his psychodynamic approach to psychology. And concerning the rebuttal or clarification, can transmit HPV through digital manipulation?

1:05:39 Drew Yes, you can.

1:05:40 Adam You mean you can, she can get it?

1:05:41 Drew You can get it in her hand. There is such a thing. And you can get it, you can give it from the hand to the genitals. Correct. But it doesn't happen. It tends not to happen. It's rather rare.

1:05:51 Caller But it does happen.

1:05:52 Adam Yeah, but hold on Jack Hall.

1:05:55 Caller Oh dude, I like your language.

1:05:57 Adam I am not interested in telling people what could happen one tenth of one percent of the time.

1:06:02 Caller But it did happen.

1:06:04 Caller To who? Huh?

1:06:05 Caller To someone that I know who works in the medical profession. And it did happen.

1:06:09 Adam It did.

1:06:10 Caller So therefore I think if you're going to be, you know, if you're going to be...

1:06:13 Drew Hang on a second. Hang on a second. Our point was, what we said was it can happen, but it didn't happen to you. You don't worry about it, because it's so unusual. So my friends are dermatologists.

1:06:23 Adam He didn't say that. He said it can't happen.

1:06:25 Drew Won't even test for it, because it just doesn't...

1:06:27 Caller Well, I understand that the...

1:06:28 Drew But tell me the story. Tell me the story. What happened to this person? Tell me exactly.

1:06:32 Caller They were involved in digital manipulation of the genitalia and she contracted HPV from it.

1:06:37 Drew Wait.

1:06:37 Caller Wait, wait, wait, wait.

1:06:39 Drew This was a medical transmission or a social...

1:06:43 Caller Two people being intimate.

1:06:45 Drew And so what does the fact that she's a medical professional have to do with it?

1:06:48 Caller Well, but I mean, so she would be more aware than maybe the commoner per se, the one who doesn't have any medical training.

1:06:54 Drew Okay. So she got it from a male man's penis?

1:06:58 Caller No. Through digital manipulation.

1:07:00 Adam Right.

1:07:01 Drew Hold on.

1:07:03 Adam Drew, what's going on with you?

1:07:05 Drew Listen.

1:07:06 Adam I like to shake your head and it sounds like a spray can.

1:07:08 Drew Hey, by the way, so she thinks the guy had it on... Wait a minute. Let's examine this.

1:07:13 Adam I examined it an hour ago.

1:07:14 Drew Now listen. She thinks the guy had it on his hands.

1:07:18 Caller No, he did admit that he had it and it was on his hands, correct.

1:07:22 Drew And how does she know that she didn't get it from some earlier contact since it can sit dormant forever?

1:07:28 Caller That's a very good point. However, her last intimate was this gentleman.

1:07:33 Drew Yeah, but it often could have been five intimates ago that she actually contracted the virus.

1:07:38 Caller That's a possibility also.

1:07:39 Drew In fact, that's the higher probability.

1:07:41 Caller It is not beyond reason to suggest or at least alert your public that digital manipulations still can transmit it.

1:07:51 Drew Yes, yeah, absolutely.

1:07:52 Caller The rarity is much greater.

1:07:55 Drew No, absolutely. But James, what we're trying to do is stay as close to real as possible. And so if it's rare, we want to also state it's rare. And maybe we shouldn't worry about it so much. But I agree. We also want to be accurate.

1:08:08 Adam Well, yeah, look, I'll tell you the problem. I mean, for me and that, this society drives me insane with all their... They don't know the difference between 1% and 75%. Right.

1:08:21 Drew And that's what we're trying to clarify.

1:08:23 Adam They just don't. And you hear it all the time. And to me, this whole AIDS thing turned into that. They would take a group that wasn't in a high-risk situation and tell them that everyone was in high risk and that everybody had this opportunity. And it bothers me. I don't like it. Here's what I want to deal with as a lay person when I'm talking to anybody about the possibility of anything that I'm not aware of, that I'm not an expert in. I want to look at a big roulette wheel. And not a roulette wheel, but just a big spinning wheel at the casino. That's the Wheel of Destiny.

1:09:05 Drew The Wheel of Destiny.

1:09:06 Adam And if you're telling me, well, there's a small percentage that you could pick. There's a likelihood that it's possible that you could pick it up. If you're saying to me that it's one sliver out of a hundred, I'll spin that wheel every time and never think about it. If it's a nonsense thing.

1:09:22 Drew If it's 25.

1:09:22 Adam But I don't want you to paint it as half the wheel when it's one sliver.

1:09:28 Drew When it's one hundredth of a wheel.

1:09:29 Adam Right. And we don't get that in this society. If it's one one hundredth, then we get half the wheel.

1:09:36 Drew I just think that's because in media, generally people talk down to the public. They talk, not only they dumb down their messages, because they believe they can't handle the accurate stuff.

1:09:44 Adam Not only that, but they just say, well, it's them. I mean, screw them. What would be dangerous? Let's suppose you have a one million chance of getting AIDS. What's wrong with telling them you got a 50-50 chance of getting AIDS? You'll just put a condom on. Do you see what I'm saying? We'll do the thinking for you.

1:10:03 Drew We're smarter than you.

1:10:04 Adam We'll save you from yourself.

1:10:05 Drew That's right, which we don't like.

1:10:07 Adam I don't like it because then I don't know when to listen and when not to listen.

1:10:11 Drew What's real. Yeah, what's real.

1:10:12 Adam Right. As far as getting HPV from giving hand jobs, there could be documented cases of this.

1:10:20 Drew But HPV is the most common STD out there and I've never seen that.

1:10:24 Adam Okay.

1:10:25 Drew None of my dermatologists have either.

1:10:26 Adam So rare, it's not worth bringing up.

1:10:29 Drew Probably.

1:10:29 Adam Thank you.

1:10:30 Caller Possibly.

1:10:32 Adam There you go, Drew. There you go. Hedging. We'll be back.

1:10:36 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:11:11 Adam It's the Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Drew. Drew's in the other room, talking on the phone. Not sure who he's talking to or what they're talking about, but I'm sure he'll be in here in just a moment to help fix the kiddies, as Dag would say. I'm sure he'll be in here in just a moment as Dag would say. So in the meantime, let's talk to...

1:11:31 Let's heal some babies!

1:11:33 Adam Oh yeah, heal some babies. Casey? Hello? You're 16?

1:11:37 Caller Yeah.

1:11:38 Adam What's up?

1:11:38 Caller Oh man, I love you.

1:11:40 Adam I love you, buddy.

1:11:41 Caller I've been listening to you for like four years.

1:11:44 Adam Thanks.

1:11:44 Caller You teach me everything I know about sex.

1:11:46 Adam Oh Jesus.

1:11:47 Caller They should have that for sex, just listen to Loveline. I'm serious. There's this gorgeous girl in my math class, just like traffic stopping, like, oh my God. Yeah. We talk like every lunch and stuff and during math class, and she actually really likes me, and I'm really good looking too. I'm a model. The only problem is-

1:12:15 Adam How do you model at 16? What do you do?

1:12:19 Drew Gap, gap kids?

1:12:21 Caller No.

1:12:22 Caller Like, I'm actually just getting started on a lure, and now they just find me.

1:12:26 Faggot better run.

1:12:27 Adam Drew is not necessarily gay. I mean, he probably is, but not necessarily. Oh, so you're a model.

1:12:34 Caller Yeah. Actually, this girl, I just told everybody that I'm gay.

1:12:38 Adam I'll tell you, do you know how much- See, this is a great move for high school. Drew, think about this for a second.

1:12:43 Drew What's that?

1:12:44 Adam Being a model.

1:12:45 Caller Yeah.

1:12:46 Adam Not even, even if you're not even a good-looking guy, just somehow greasing someone's palm and getting in with some agency, just even if you never got a part, just to call yourself that. Technically, just so the buzz could be that he's got, and every day you miss a day of school, like just because you stay at home or you're sick, it'd be like he's probably got some kind of gig in Milan.

1:13:06 Caller Yeah.

1:13:07 Adam Okay. So you're hot, she's hot.

1:13:10 Caller Yeah. The only problem is that she had a boyfriend in the military college.

1:13:15 Adam Oh.

1:13:16 Caller Yeah.

1:13:16 Adam Military college.

1:13:18 Caller Yeah.

1:13:18 Caller In the New Mexico Military Institute.

1:13:21 Caller Uh-huh.

1:13:22 Adam And, yeah. And, and, and she don't seem, how old is she?

1:13:28 Caller She's 16 also.

1:13:30 Adam Yeah. And she probably doesn't seem too often, right?

1:13:34 Caller No. Like every three months.

1:13:35 Adam You're calling from Sacramento, he's in New Mexico?

1:13:38 Caller Yeah.

1:13:38 Adam I, I think you, you, you, look, here's, here's the rule. Anyone you go to school with is fair game.

1:13:44 Caller Right.

1:13:44 Adam Am I, am I right, Drew? If the, if the significant other is not at that school?

1:13:49 Caller Yeah.

1:13:50 Adam Especially if he's too old for her.

1:13:53 Drew It just sounds like a screwed up situation.

1:13:55 Adam He's halfway across the country. Let's just go, give it a shot.

1:13:58 Drew Yeah, give it a shot. That's fine.

1:13:59 Adam Give it a shot. Yeah. She's probably- Look, if she's in a tr- here's- if there's anything I know, it's wood. I was going to say women.

1:14:09 I thought that that'd be a lie. Yeah.

1:14:11 Adam That'd be a total lie. Three.

1:14:13 Hey, everyone.

1:14:13 Adam If you didn't hear the beginning of the show, Drew said, uh, three by four.

1:14:19 Drew I just said three by.

1:14:20 Adam No such thing.

1:14:22 Timber!

1:14:25 Adam Got a great story with my five quarter and three quarter.

1:14:28 Drew Oh, yeah. Are you going to do that again?

1:14:30 Adam No, but it's one of my favorite one of my favorite conversations in life is how one one by all right. I can't even get it.

1:14:40 I don't respect the storytelling.

1:14:43 Adam I'll tell you off the art. So here's here's the dealio. I know chicks and good-looking chicks at the high school level do not like to go unattended for months on end.

1:14:55 Drew Right. They at least want to have a bullpant going.

1:14:57 Adam They want at least some attention. They want something. If this guy's over in New Mexico and she's over in Sacramento, and they're not going to get a chance to see each other, but every four or five months, she's going to need some attention in between. Even if she's madly in love with this guy, hot-looking chicks, they don't stay faithful this way, in his long-terms, not in high school. If this guy's a model, she'll start digging him. Melissa?

1:15:26 Yes.

1:15:27 Adam You're 21?

1:15:28 Caller Yes.

1:15:29 Drew What's going on, Melissa?

1:15:30 Adam What's the dealio?

1:15:32 Caller Well, when my brother was 7, my mom and my dad split up, and I was 6 at the time, and my brother went with my dad and I went with my mom. Well, my dad got into drugs really bad, and he was giving them to my brother.

1:15:47 Drew He was giving them to an 8-year-old?

1:15:49 Caller My brother was 7, yeah.

1:15:51 Adam Oh, well, 7, that's different. I thought it was 8.

1:15:55 Caller What drugs?

1:15:57 Caller Mostly coke, but he gave him heroin at some point.

1:16:00 Drew He what? He blew heroin in his face or he shot it in his veins?

1:16:04 Caller Yeah.

1:16:05 Drew He shot an 8-year-old with heroin?

1:16:07 Caller Yeah.

1:16:08 Caller Liar!

1:16:08 Drew Liar whore!

1:16:09 Caller Liar whore!

1:16:10 Drew You know it! What's up with your dad now?

1:16:13 Caller Well, now, believe it or not, he used to be a cop, but um...

1:16:17 Adam Oh, no. I believe that.

1:16:19 Caller No. When my mom left him, he kind of went off the deep end.

1:16:23 Adam Was your mom a nurse?

1:16:25 Caller No. She lives in Texas.

1:16:28 Drew What does she do for a living?

1:16:29 Adam Hold on a second.

1:16:30 Drew Here we go. What's your mom? A nurse?

1:16:33 Adam No. No. No. She lives in Texas. That's a dry state for nursing.

1:16:40 Drew I mean she responded that way as though you'd ask, where does she live? Sacramento?

1:16:46 Adam No. Nurses in Texas. Where is she? I'm sorry. Drew is making fun of you.

1:16:52 Caller Anyways.

1:16:53 Caller What does she do?

1:16:54 Caller She's an alcoholic.

1:16:55 Caller Does she work?

1:16:57 Caller Probably. I don't know. But anyways.

1:17:01 Adam Okay. You really don't want to answer that question, do you?

1:17:05 Caller I don't really know.

1:17:06 Adam Okay. Then just say I don't know.

1:17:08 Caller Okay. I don't know.

1:17:09 Caller Okay.

1:17:11 Adam So how do you know that your father injected heroin into your brother when he was seven years old?

1:17:20 Caller My brother told me and my dad offered me to do it.

1:17:23 Drew Your dad told you that he injected your brother?

1:17:26 Caller Well, my brother told me about it and I asked my dad. And my dad said...

1:17:30 Drew I think you have an obligation to call Social Services. That is majorly criminal behavior.

1:17:36 Adam It is as crazy as drug addicts are and everything. One thing they don't usually like to do is share their hard-earned drugs, you know?

1:17:45 Caller I don't know what it was.

1:17:46 Adam It seems weird.

1:17:46 Drew May I give you a phone number?

1:17:49 Caller It doesn't really matter at this point because my brother, he was in Texas with my mom and he's married and has his own house in Beauvoir.

1:17:59 Drew How's he doing? This is the same brother that was injected by your dad?

1:18:02 Caller Yes.

1:18:02 Drew How's he doing now?

1:18:04 Caller Well, he's addicted to pot but other than that he's fine. My question was, is it possible that he could have gotten neurologically damaged?

1:18:15 Drew Yes, it's possible. Just injecting something intravenously into a kid's vein can give you neurologic damage. It's possible.

1:18:22 Adam How are you doing?

1:18:25 Caller I'm okay. I have kind of a radical sex life which kind of leads me to my next question. Is it possible that I could get sexually abused and not remember?

1:18:34 Drew Yeah, or just coming from that kind of chaos. Again, we've talked today about people that are hyper or hypo aroused. And when somebody has been stimulated in certain ways at a certain time in their development, they can either go off in a trajectory where sexuality becomes excessively sort of a preoccupation in the way of managing feelings and the way in which feelings are experienced, or it becomes kind of shut down and that part of their brain kind of prunes and reduces its interconnections and the ability to become aroused is sort of blunted. You've obviously gone the other way and it doesn't have to be sexual abuse. Just coming from this terribly traumatic family system can do something like that.

1:19:12 Caller Well, the other thing that made me think that was, you know, I've been with a lot of men and women, but I don't let anybody touch me with their hands down there.

1:19:24 Drew Just mouth or penis?

1:19:25 Adam Just the mouth or the...

1:19:27 Caller Probably not the mouth either.

1:19:29 Adam Oh, yeah? Oh, we should talk. Hey, how about some therapy?

1:19:36 Caller They put me in therapy when I was ten because I went into foster care.

1:19:40 Adam Right.

1:19:41 Caller And they took me out because they said I didn't need it.

1:19:44 Drew Well, we're telling you to the contrary.

1:19:46 Adam Yeah.

1:19:46 Drew Well, what about SA or a 12-step program? That would be free. It's available. It would be a nice source of support for you. You could start that right away. Just check out SA.

1:19:55 Caller Sex Aholexanons.

1:19:56 Adam Look, you didn't need it because they were paying for it or because you were, you know, not dangerous to yourself. But you need it. I mean, I didn't have to hear her say more than her first sentence to know she needed it. Just tons of depression. And look, I feel bad. And her, you know, her dad should just be shot. I wonder if he gave him the drugs or not. You'll never know.

1:20:28 Drew Never know.

1:20:28 Adam You know why? It's weird. I, I, for some reason, I don't believe it. Not, not because I'm calling her a liar, just because I, you know, when you're poor and you got X amount of drugs, you just want them. You want to do them. Like coke?

1:20:44 Drew Yeah. Coke people don't share.

1:20:45 Adam You don't waste it on a kid. You don't want to, I mean, look.

1:20:48 Drew What's your motivation?

1:20:49 Adam You know why you give someone coke or drugs? So you can screw them when you're high. I mean, that's why. The only reason you're going to share coke is if you can get something.

1:21:00 Caller Okay.

1:21:01 Adam Drew, you want a Tutski?

1:21:06 Drew Are you cool?

1:21:07 Adam You cool? Let me give my buddy Ray a line of baking soda once.

1:21:15 Drew Oh, God.

1:21:16 Adam Snorted that whole thing up. Took the whole line of baking soda. Yeah. He was bugging my other friend, one of drugs. Wouldn't give him any. Finally drew him a line of baking soda. It's great. It's great to see someone suck up a line of baking soda.

1:21:33 Drew That hurt him?

1:21:34 Adam I mean, why is it? No, it's good for you.

1:21:36 Drew No.

1:21:37 Adam It makes your nose refrigerator fresh. Listen, you could have put an M-80 up Ray's ass. He wouldn't hurt him. He'd be fine. You kidding me? Okay. Let's take ourselves a little break. All right. We'll come back. We'll talk to Rose, who says she has a general warts from hands, from the hand job, and we'll be back. Want to go high? Anderson is so busy rocking out, I forgot to push the right button. Get down. Hey, y'all, Loveline. Let's hop back to the phones. Porn star Ron Jeremy in here Thursday night. He's got a lot of personality, that boy.

1:22:56 Drew Personality?

1:22:58 Adam Yeah. Okay. I still have his fake penis at my house.

1:23:03 Nice.

1:23:04 Adam As you know, after my maid found it, I hid it. So now they'll just, you know, just be one of the things they find at my house. But let's keep powering forward here and speak to Rose, who's 40. Rose?

1:23:17 Hi, Adam and Drew. First of all, thanks so much to both of you for your many gifts. And I've learned a lot from you guys the last three years, and you make me laugh every night.

1:23:24 Adam Tickled pink, Avvy, on the air, baby.

1:23:26 Tickled pink? Well... So, I'm calling to say that I contracted genital warts while having safe sex. That was ten years ago.

1:23:35 Drew So, from a condom?

1:23:37 Yeah. Well, I don't know if it was from around the base of his penis or if I touched his penis and then touched my genitals. That's what the doctor had suggested.

1:23:44 Drew Yeah, but it's pretty... It's not unlikely that you get it while using a condom. It particularly had visible warts present.

1:23:54 Adam The doctor, though, suggested that maybe you had touched it and touched yourself and that's how you contracted it.

1:24:00 Drew Yes.

1:24:00 And I've always thought that's what happened. Well, you tell me. I don't know.

1:24:05 Drew Well, the discussion we were having earlier was about actually getting warts, actual warts on your hand.

1:24:10 And then you followed with an HPV transmission discussion that didn't mention that if he has warts, a condom isn't going to necessarily keep you safe.

1:24:19 Adam No, we didn't. Although, Drew has oftentimes said that...

1:24:23 Drew It's a risk reduction.

1:24:24 Adam Yeah, that it doesn't cover necessarily the infected area completely.

1:24:29 Drew And I made sure I pointed out to that caller that she'd get him to control the warts, because if he has lots of warts and tries to use a condom, then forget it.

1:24:37 Caller It's not going to work.

1:24:38 Adam Here's the thing about the warts, as far as I can tell there, Rose, which I don't have, by the way. Drew shined a flashlight on my penis. I know you were very uncomfortable.

1:24:48 Caller You didn't have them at that time.

1:24:49 Drew It was a stunt penis, a stunt penis.

1:24:52 Adam Right, very low mileage.

1:24:53 Suspicious, suspicious.

1:24:55 Adam You know, my...

1:24:55 Caller It depends on which mileage you're counting.

1:24:57 Adam My penis still has the original ramping it came in.

1:25:01 Caller You've taken that off long ago.

1:25:03 Adam No, no, no. I mean, I wore it off in my own hands. But here's what I think. Drew, you stopped me from wrong. The warts are a bit of a mystery. And they vary. They seem to vary. Yeah. Some people may be contagious throughout the time that they have these warts, which could be forever.

1:25:24 Drew Yep.

1:25:25 Adam Some people don't seem to be as contagious. Some people seem maybe more receptive to getting them. Other people seem to have some sort of immunity to them. It's my Lord knows if you were a person that was receptive to these things, you'd have them by now.

1:25:38 Drew Yeah. You have them in your hands maybe even.

1:25:40 Adam If you just traveled through and led your life in your normal, active, hetero or gay, male or female, if you were someone who was receptive to this, you would probably have it. But for some reason, some people don't get them. And for some reason, people aren't allergic to bee stings. And some people die. There's things you can do to prevent them, but I think there's still an element of mystery to this. And so all you can do is try to cover your bases, be as safe as you can within reason, and then if you get them after that, it's God's will. Or actually God's wrath. Right?

1:26:20 Drew Yeah, God's punishing you, yes.

1:26:22 Adam Yeah. You don't hear about God's wrath quite as much as you do. I'd like to bring that back. All right. Let's talk to Alla to step in, by the way, any day now. I just heard it on Reuters with the Taliban. Any second now. Any day. John?

1:26:39 Yeah.

1:26:40 Adam You're 35?

1:26:41 Caller Yeah.

1:26:41 Adam What's up?

1:26:42 Caller Hey, what's up, guys?

1:26:43 Adam Hey.

1:26:43 Caller Appreciate you all taking my call. Our pleasure. I had this job to where I was a lead over top of a certain amount of people, and one of the persons that I was over top of when I was a kid, he had molested me basically.

1:27:07 Adam Wow.

1:27:08 Caller I woke up after partying and stuff, and he was going at it on me.

1:27:15 Adam Was he older than you or younger?

1:27:18 Caller Yeah, he was a lot older than me. A lot older.

1:27:20 Drew How old were you at the time?

1:27:21 Caller I was 16 at the time, and he was around about 40, I'd say, or 38, around that area, 38, 40.

1:27:31 Adam Now this guy is in his 50s?

1:27:34 Caller Yeah, he's up there now, around the retirement age, I guess, and I pretty much blocked it out and everything, but this job I held was for two years, and towards the end of it, I found out that he was the person that did that to me.

1:27:58 Adam How did you find that out?

1:28:00 Caller Actually, my cousin, he came to work there as well, and he came up and said, you know, that's, don't you remember that guy?

1:28:09 Adam Well did he do anything to your cousin?

1:28:11 Caller No, I don't think so.

1:28:13 Adam And what did he do to you?

1:28:15 Caller Well, he was giving me a BJ.

1:28:18 Adam Oh, okay, no, that's bad. And you were how old?

1:28:21 Caller Sixteen.

1:28:22 Adam Sixteen? And you were just, you got drunk and passed out?

1:28:25 Caller Yeah.

1:28:26 Adam And that's the one time it happened with him?

1:28:29 Caller Yeah, that's the only time it happened with me.

1:28:32 Adam What kind of work is it? Publishing. Do you think this has affected your life too much?

1:28:40 Caller I kind of think it did.

1:28:41 Drew How? What did it do?

1:28:43 Caller Well, I kind of dropped out of school and took off. Actually, I took his car and after that happened, I took his car and crashed down to the mailboxes unless it was setting out on Georgia Line. I mean, just after that, it was drugs and stuff like that.

1:29:03 Adam All right. But you paid him back as far as screwing his car up, right? Yeah.

1:29:08 Caller If you call a car, that's counting.

1:29:11 Adam Well, listen, I mean, here's the thing. Pardon me for being insensitive.

1:29:18 Caller But I got screwed out of my education, basically, on account of-

1:29:21 Adam Well, something tells me you weren't heading for Harvard anyway.

1:29:24 Drew But what are you going to do? You can't take this into your own hands.

1:29:27 Caller I've done plenty. I mean, since, but I mean-

1:29:30 Drew You can't take the law-

1:29:31 Caller I would have.

1:29:32 Drew Listen, listen, you can't take the law into your own hands. If you want to report this, you can.

1:29:36 Adam Well, wait a second. Look, I'd like to talk him out of this just a little bit. You jump in and tell me-

1:29:42 Drew What's he going to accomplish?

1:29:42 Adam Don't tell me where I'm wrong, Drew. John, hold on a second.

1:29:46 Caller I-

1:29:46 Adam I don't- I don't- This guy's a criminal. And this guy's an idiot and an a-hole and all that kind of stuff. But what he did to you is- is bad and is wrong. I don't think it- it's gonna ruin- it should ruin your life. It shouldn't have gotten you to drop out of school and to freak out and get- get on drugs. If this had happened continuously, or at least more than once, and it happened when you were 11 years old, that would have been something else. To happen one time at 16, when you were loaded, should not have send you into this kind of tailspin. Shouldn't have been good for you. You should have all kinds of feelings about it, but should not be the reason your life didn't go the way as planned. do you agree with that, Drew, or disagree with that? Stop tying your sweatpants when I'm talking.

1:30:36 Drew I agree.

1:30:37 Adam It's 16, one time.

1:30:39 Drew But that's not- that's sort of-

1:30:40 Adam Well, I'm trying to talk him out first of blaming all the- because, look, if this guy is the reason you didn't get your education and the reason you got arrested five times and the reason you got thrown out of the house, then you should kill him. But I don't think he's the reason. He didn't help.

1:30:54 Drew He precipitated something.

1:30:56 Caller I really don't know if, you know, I tried to do the better things since, but, I mean, I don't know if that was the reason.

1:31:03 Adam But there isn't- here's what I'm- here's what I'm pointing is, there's no one reason. There's no one incident that could make you do this.

1:31:10 Drew That might have been the straw that broke the camel's back.

1:31:12 Adam This guy- this guy wasn't any help, but I'm guessing there were many other issues in your life.

1:31:18 Drew And you were already getting loaded and passing out at 16.

1:31:21 Adam You were 16, you were loaded and passed out in this guy's-

1:31:25 Caller Well, I shouldn't have been, yeah.

1:31:26 Adam Well, I'm just saying, before this, it's not like you were on the honor roll, were you?

1:31:30 Caller Well, yeah, no, I guess.

1:31:32 Adam No, okay. So, here's what I'm saying, John. You could- you could do something to him. You already destroyed the guy's car. You could- you could do- you could go up and attack him or do something to him, and then you could really have your life ruined by going- going in jail for 15 years.

1:31:49 Drew That's my point. You don't want to take this into your own hands. You could call authorities, you could bring it up again, but the probability of them being able to do anything this far after the fact would be pretty slim.

1:31:58 Adam I think when you say that this guy ruined your life, you give him too much power.

1:32:03 Drew Yeah, I agree. I agree with you. No, I agree. It also- it also diverts him from looking at the more significant issues that might have been going along at the same time.

1:32:13 Adam Yeah, and you-

1:32:14 Drew Putting it all on that.

1:32:15 Adam Okay, real fast here. Who is this?

1:32:19 Drew Bear.

1:32:19 Caller Bear.

1:32:20 Drew This is Bear.

1:32:20 Caller Hey.

1:32:21 Adam Hey, Bear.

1:32:21 Caller How are you guys?

1:32:22 Adam Good. You're 22? What's up?

1:32:24 Caller Thanks for getting me on. I talked to Dr. Drew today about my panic attacks, and I had one more question that I needed to discuss. I have sand rails and toys like that.

1:32:37 Caller Yeah.

1:32:38 Adam Dr. Drew doesn't know what a sand rail is.

1:32:41 Caller Yeah.

1:32:42 Adam Let's have fun, Drew.

1:32:43 Caller It's a dun- Don't.

1:32:45 Adam That's fine. Dr. Drew, sand rail?

1:32:47 Caller Okay.

1:32:47 Drew Sanding machine?

1:32:48 Adam Don't know what a sand rail is?

1:32:49 Caller It's a dune buggy.

1:32:50 Adam It's like a dragster dune buggy.

1:32:53 Caller So I talked to you about loving life and all this good stuff, right today?

1:32:56 Caller Yeah.

1:32:58 Caller I have this sand rail, right? Already does 170 miles an hour.

1:33:01 Adam Now it doesn't.

1:33:02 Caller Yeah, it does.

1:33:03 Adam Now it doesn't.

1:33:04 Caller Yeah, it does. I have lots of people that can vouch for it.

1:33:06 Adam No, hold on. There's no sand rail that does 170 miles an hour.

1:33:12 Caller Bet you anything.

1:33:13 Adam What kind of engines are they having?

1:33:16 Caller 2020, triple Weber carburetors.

1:33:19 Adam 2020 what?

1:33:21 Caller It's a Volkswagen.

1:33:22 Adam No.

1:33:23 Caller They got one that does a quarter mile at 190 miles an hour.

1:33:28 Adam On sand?

1:33:29 Caller Yeah.

1:33:30 Adam Oh, yeah. Well, no. All right. I'm with you.

1:33:34 Caller Let me get to my...

1:33:35 Adam I'm sorry. Go ahead. I'm waiting.

1:33:36 Caller So is this like my own way of going back and making up for not doing drugs to want to go faster?

1:33:45 Drew Right. Absolutely. What we see when people come off drugs in their first few years, people that don't get into sobriety and try to give up drugs will try to stimulate that same part of their brain with things other than drugs. So you'll see thrill seeking behavior is extreme sports, sex, gambling, those sorts of things will be very compulsive and directed.

1:34:03 Caller After I had talked to you and gotten the bad news that ecstasy is kind of screwed up and you don't get your life back for a while.

1:34:09 Drew Yeah.

1:34:09 Caller I went and put nitrous in it today.

1:34:11 Adam I was just about to ask you, you got put nitrous in your Volkswagen engine?

1:34:14 Caller Yeah.

1:34:15 Adam It didn't have nitrous, it was naturally aspirated, it wasn't turbocharged or blown or anything?

1:34:20 Caller Turbocharged.

1:34:21 Adam It was turbocharged. All right.

1:34:22 Drew Twelve step. Twelve step. That's the answer.

1:34:24 Adam Yeah. That's the answer.

1:34:25 Caller Hold on.

1:34:25 Adam How many pounds of boost?

1:34:29 Caller Probably eight right now.

1:34:30 Adam That's it?

1:34:31 Caller Eight or nine.

1:34:31 Adam It's not near enough. We'll be back.

1:34:33 Caller Here it is.

1:34:34 Adam Bottom line, it sucks being single today.

1:34:36 Caller Tons of lame people and no decent prospects.

1:34:39 Caller Call the Dateline. 1-877-889-DATE.

1:34:47 Caller Loveline will be right back. So get your problems ready. Ready.

1:35:21 Caller All right.

1:35:22 Adam Fruit in the Middle.

1:35:23 Drew Fruit in the Middle.

1:35:24 Adam Fruit in the Middle. Climb in the charts.

1:35:27 Caller That's right.

1:35:27 Drew Fruit in the Middle. That about sums it up, doesn't it?

1:35:30 Adam We will take some yogurt. A yogurt company will come out with Fruit in the Middle in the next 18 months, mark my words, and then people will conveniently forget about-

1:35:40 Caller Like a girl with a big butt but fruit in the middle is juicy, because it's fruit in the middle.

1:35:48 Oh my God.

1:35:49 Adam Until next time, it's Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo.

1:35:53 Caller The streets here are nice and blind and I'm running behind a building to beat off.

1:35:57 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, November 27, 2001