Episode 1000754886216

1:14 Voiceover Hey, everybody, it's Loveline, I'm Adam Carolla, that's Dr. Drew, Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist, phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. I'm coming from Las Vegas tonight, Drew.

1:29 Drew Yeah, and I was just thinking, I didn't yawn when you started talking, then I thought about it and then I yawned. So it is your voice after all.

1:35 Adam Yeah, but I think it's more, it's your presence.

1:37 Drew It's your presence.

1:38 Adam When I'm in the studio.

1:39 Drew It is, it's that, yeah, it's that essence, the presence.

1:42 Adam I'll tell you, something you don't think about when you're trying to find your way through Vegas is every goddamn street has a hotel name to it.

1:52 Drew Yes, well, that's sort of that direction anyway, that sort of north south direction.

1:56 Adam Right, so what happens is, is I'm trying to find the studio and people go, go down to Sahara, turn right on Tropicana, and go left on Flamingo. And so you're driving, you go, okay, I got it. And you're driving and you come up on Flamingo. And you're going, wait a minute, am I going away? I should probably go to, is it Tropicana? Are we on Caesar's Palace Road? When you name everything after sort of, everything becomes a subset of one big subject, it gets really confusing.

2:27 Drew Here are the two, these are the three that I was confused. Tell me if this isn't right. Sahara, Riviera, Flamingo. Those are the three, that's all the same thing to me.

2:37 Adam Right. It's as if you named every street after a football team. And you go, go up to Rams Way and go right on the New Orleans Saints, and go straight through the Dallas Cowboys, and you're driving passing streets named after football teams, and you're getting confused.

2:53 Drew All you get is football team after a while.

2:56 Adam Right. That's how it goes down in your brain.

2:58 Drew Well, are you guys having fun out there?

2:59 Adam Oh, yes.

3:00 Drew Oh, boy.

3:01 Adam Well, the night is young.

3:02 Drew Where are you going after this?

3:04 Adam Olympic Garden.

3:05 Drew Of course. Why do you guys like that place so much?

3:08 Adam I don't know.

3:09 Drew It just feels like home?

3:11 Adam Well, yes. Speaking of teams, what happens is, is a strip club sort of just becomes your team.

3:18 Drew Your home team.

3:18 Adam You know?

3:19 Drew Yeah.

3:19 Adam And after a while, you don't even question it.

3:21 Drew Going that route for the girls?

3:22 Adam That's just the one you follow.

3:24 Drew Yeah.

3:24 Adam You know what I'm saying? Even if you move, you end up following that team.

3:28 Drew Right.

3:29 Adam That's the way it is with the Olympic Gardens. Or the OG.

3:32 Drew What's that?

3:33 Adam David Alan Greer is out here.

3:35 Drew Is he there with you now? He's not out in the studio with you there, no?

3:37 Adam Kathy Griffin and we're all going to go out and party.

3:40 I don't respect the storytelling.

3:43 Adam No, he's getting drunk at the Bellagio.

3:46 Drew Then take him down to the... What's the OG? What's that?

3:49 Adam Olympic Garden.

3:49 Drew Well, take him to the OG. I know what will impress the girls. Have him sing the Turkey song.

3:55 Adam Oh, the Gobble Gobble here and the Gobble Gobble there song?

3:57 Drew No, no, this.

4:00 Turkey sat on the backyard fence on Thanksgiving Day. As he sat on the backyard fence, this is what he'd say, oh, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, I don't like Thanksgiving Day. Hey, hey, hey, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, I would like to run away.

4:12 Drew Oh man, we're impressed.

4:14 Adam He's going to be doing some gobbling.

4:16 Drew Then you will talk about yogurt and fruit in the middle.

4:19 Like a girl with a big butt, but fruit in the middle is juicy, is sweet because it's fruit and in the middle.

4:26 Adam We will cover it all tonight, Drew, don't you worry, buddy. All right. So you got the calls lined up?

4:31 Drew Yeah, let's go. Here we go. This is Heather, she's 32. Heather.

4:35 Hi. I have a question as far as anal sex. Is there a long-term effect as far as what can happen to your body if you have an effect?

4:46 Drew You know, I was just reading a magazine tonight. I'm going to read you the headline here. I mean, you can use your imagination, right?

4:51 Adam Anus Quarterly?

4:53 Drew Wait a minute. Let me find this article.

4:55 Adam Drew, do you really have an article in front of you on the prolong negative effects of anal sex?

5:00 Drew No, but I thought of our callers when I read this article with the headline, An Artificial Sphincter Limits Fecal Incontinence. I thought, well, they can just go right ahead and enjoy themselves now. They have an artificial sphincter and it's quite a device.

5:14 Adam They've come out. What would be the doctor's name who invented that? Because it's always funny.

5:19 Drew Well, Dr.-

5:19 Adam Do you know what I mean?

5:20 Drew Like Fuji-Duki or what? W. Douglas Wong reported the annual meeting of American Society of Colonorectal Surgeons.

5:27 Adam Still kind of funny.

5:28 Drew Kind of funny.

5:29 Adam Yeah. It's not like his name is Dr. Browning.

5:34 Drew Or Dr. Madoff is in this article, too.

5:35 Adam Or Dr. Dukeman or something like that. But it's still pretty solid. Yeah.

5:39 Drew Obviously, you can tear and you can get infections and you can get fistulas and abscesses and incontinence later. But it's not as though... I imagine we'll see more of this in the years to come because this has been a behavior that's become a little more common in recent years.

5:53 Adam Let me ask you this, Drew. You say incontinence. You say it as if this muscle should or this area should go unmolested your whole life. But you have a bowel movement or two every day. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's getting quite a workout during those. I mean, if you take the circumference of the average duke...

6:17 Drew You're looking at your penis now. Your penis. Your penis.

6:20 Adam That is true. I'm looking at my penis. But when you compare it to the circumference of the average penis, I would say it's pretty close. Now, it's not going in and out.

6:29 Drew And also, the stool is kind of soft, and it's your sphincter that's forming the size, basically.

6:35 Adam Oh, really?

6:35 Drew Helping form it anyway.

6:37 Adam Interesting.

6:37 Drew You know what I'm saying?

6:38 Adam So, do gay guys have bigger dukes?

6:41 Drew It could be a reason for you to start practicing.

6:44 Adam I gotta look into this. Hey, Heather, you doing this? How often you doing this?

6:49 Like every other week, and it's only been for the last three months, and it's been with the same guy. I haven't seen him for about a year.

6:57 Drew And you like doing it?

6:58 No, I don't. I only do it because he likes it.

7:03 Drew Can you add it? Wait a minute. Is there anything that a man does that's equivalent to that under any circumstances just for making a woman happy?

7:11 Adam No. Well, going to weddings and things like that.

7:13 Drew Talking about certain things, yeah, I guess. But just think of the difference, huh?

7:17 Adam Heather, tell him you spoke to your dad, and he was pretty upset about the whole thing. Can you do that? Oh, I can do that. Is your dad alive and out of prison?

7:28 Caller My dad's never been in prison, but yes.

7:31 Drew Are you having any problems with the stool incontinence or anything like that?

7:34 Caller No, I was just wondering, because I do work in a nursing home.

7:38 Drew Yeah, you see, you know what I'm talking about, right?

7:40 Caller And I'm like, well, you know, there's that rectal.

7:45 That's what?

7:47 Caller I forget what it's called.

7:49 Adam Well, hold on, you think all those old timers were getting it in the ass?

7:52 Drew No, but she sees how bad, she sees how bad it is for someone who hasn't been working out like this. You see?

7:58 Adam Well, maybe, maybe it's just that.

8:01 Drew What did you call it?

8:02 Caller Renal failure, renal.

8:04 Drew Well, renal, kidney failure.

8:06 Caller Oh, okay.

8:07 Adam Well, you could be stabbing the kidney if you get in deep enough. Okay, so look, you save it for-

8:12 Caller So why are you guys like that anyhow?

8:14 Drew It's a mystery to me.

8:15 Adam Well, part of it is you not liking it that makes us like it.

8:21 Drew I think it's an aggressive impulse and I think it's, you know, if their partner likes it, it's one thing, but otherwise it's kind of an aggressive impulse and it's kind of, I really think on some level they're turned on by sort of hurting you with their penis.

8:30 Caller Well, I told him to stop and he's like, it's okay, you can handle the pain.

8:35 Drew Oh my God, you see?

8:37 Adam Sounds like a keeper, Heather, you need to marry this one.

8:39 Drew He couldn't have said it so nicely. He is a world class dick, yes he is.

8:43 Adam Just tell him holidays and special occasions, okay? Anniversaries, Yom Kippur, go ahead, Drew, who's next?

8:52 Drew This is Lillian, she's 18.

8:54 Oh yes, I had a question about my IUD. I just had it installed about-

9:00 Drew Installed, okay.

9:03 I had it put in about three months ago.

9:05 Drew Yeah.

9:08 And it was very painful and everything, but for the last two months, everything's been okay.

9:17 Drew Unacceptable.

9:18 And just now, I've been having heavy bleeding. And I just wanted to know if this was normal.

9:28 Adam How do they put that IUD in?

9:30 Drew The evidence, it has its own sort of little-

9:32 Adam I'm asking Lillian.

9:34 Drew She doesn't see it.

9:35 Adam What happened? How they do that? Lillian?

9:40 Oh, I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you too well. What was that?

9:43 Adam How do they put the IUD in?

9:46 They open up the vagina and then also the uterus and they stick this little piece up into your uterus.

9:56 Drew You satisfied, Adam?

9:57 Adam No, I'm hanging with her. They got a special tool for that?

10:01 Drew There's an applicator.

10:02 Adam Oh, Drew, who is paging you? Who? Who? Who's doing it, Drew?

10:07 Drew A patient.

10:09 Adam Should I talk to them?

10:09 Drew No.

10:10 Adam Can you get that goddamn thing on vibrate?

10:13 Drew Yes, now I can.

10:14 Adam Oh, well, can you do that?

10:16 Drew I'm doing it.

10:17 Adam Idiot. All right, Lillian?

10:19 Yes?

10:20 Adam So you're bleeding?

10:21 Yeah, and I've had heavy cramping, and I just want to know if this was normal.

10:27 Drew Yes, it is, but you have to be careful. Sometimes it can be a sign of infection, too. So you might want to give your doctor a call tomorrow. You don't have to rush, worry about it tonight. But some bleeding is normal, some cramping is normal, yes.

10:37 Okay.

10:37 Drew Why did they choose that for you?

10:39 Because I'm on Tegretol for epilepsy. And hormonal treatment for...

10:45 Drew Might make it worse.

10:47 Not necessarily that. They said that it doesn't, it's not as well working.

10:54 Drew It doesn't work as well with the Tegretol.

10:55 Right. It deteriorates the birth control.

10:59 Drew Right. All right, baby. Well, good. Glad you took care of yourself.

11:03 Well, thank you.

11:03 Drew All right. Bye-bye.

11:04 Bye-bye.

11:05 Adam The IUD, beside the condom, is the only thing you can use that doesn't screw with your hormones, right?

11:12 Drew That's basically true. I think that's what I'm trying to think of as anything else. You know, there's a new vaginal ring contraceptive just came out. You can wear it for like three weeks at a time. That's going to be good. But again, that's systemic hormones again.

11:23 Adam Yeah. I guess you could do that damn thing. What the hell is that thing called?

11:29 Drew The damn?

11:30 Adam I forgot the name of that thing. The thing you snap up in there.

11:33 Drew Oh, the female contraceptive? Female condom?

11:36 Adam No, just give me the name.

11:38 Drew Caps? Cervical caps? Sponge? Cervical cap.

11:42 Adam You're talking about? Not the sponge.

11:43 Drew Oh, the diaphragm. Diaphragm.

11:44 Adam Diaphragm.

11:45 Drew The popular one. Thank you.

11:46 Adam Well, Jesus Christ, Drew. Is there anything? Do I have to think of everything even stuff I can think of?

11:51 Drew Diaphragm is supposed to be used with a condom, believe it or not. Bill, 22. Bill, what's going on?

11:58 Yeah. I was 16 years old and at the time I slept with my girlfriend. I thought I had contracted a sexually transmitted disease.

12:07 Drew What? What did you have?

12:09 I had thought I did.

12:10 Drew What did you experience?

12:13 It was kind of like a yellowish bump. It wasn't on the penis itself. It was more on the scrotum, I guess you'd call it.

12:22 Drew A yellowish bump on your scrotum. All right.

12:24 It was, and more started to appear. So I went to the doctor. It was kind of a teaching clinic at the time. And they had examined me and told me that it was personal hygiene that I needed to keep myself cleaner. Okay.

12:41 Drew So it wasn't an STD.

12:43 Adam So that's humiliating.

12:44 That's what they said.

12:46 Drew Well, why would they be wrong?

12:49 Because they, since then, I have really kept up on, you know, what they had told me to do. They haven't gone away. They kind of suppressed for a while, but they come back larger. And a couple of them have busted open.

13:05 Drew And what's in them?

13:06 Yeah. It's kind of a milky mixture of blood and...

13:12 Drew Yeah. So it's just, there's zits like, these are carbuncles.

13:15 And it's kind of got like a core to it.

13:17 Drew Yeah. Carbuncle. It might be a, what's called molluscum contagiosum. That's a possibility.

13:23 Adam It sounds more like carbuncle.

13:24 Drew More like carbuncle.

13:25 Adam Yeah.

13:26 Drew And that's just a zit basically.

13:27 Adam Well, don't you pop them?

13:30 Drew He did, obviously.

13:31 Adam Yeah, he said they broke open.

13:33 After they get so far along, that then I masturbated and there was kind of a, I guess it was kind of like clumpy.

13:44 Adam No.

13:45 Drew What? I understand. I'm not following him.

13:47 Adam He masturbated, it was clumpy?

13:49 It wasn't like semen should normally be.

13:52 Drew Semen is often, semen can be like, can normally be like tapioca pudding.

13:58 Yeah, that's exactly what he's describing.

13:59 Drew All right, well, that's normal. That has nothing to do with your zits on your, you're 22, Bill. Yeah, I feel like I'm talking to a nine-year-old.

14:06 Caller Well, I didn't know. I mean, they haven't gone away, I didn't.

14:09 Drew 22, Adam.

14:11 Adam Bill, you got like a big zit on your balls, that's all.

14:14 Caller It's not just one, there's, I'd say probably 30. Oh.

14:19 Adam 30.

14:20 Caller Different sizes, I mean, you can't really pop it out. I mean, if you-

14:25 Drew Well, are they kind of spongy sometimes, some of them?

14:29 Caller Some of them, and other times it's like skin kind of like grows over top of it and you can't, and they're hard.

14:35 Adam You gotta put a pin in it.

14:36 Drew I can't quite picture what's going on here, but I'm clear that a dermatologist or another doctor needs to take a look at this. It does not sound like an STD, however.

14:44 Adam But you can't have that for six years.

14:47 Drew You can get these spongy little knots. It can make your nuts look kind of like a moonscape that are normal. And then if he has zits on top of that, he doesn't know what he's looking at.

14:57 Adam I had the Sea of Tranquility on my belly the other night. Would that be related to this?

15:02 Drew Related. This is Abby who's 18.

15:06 Hi. First I just want to tell you guys that you guys are awesome and-

15:10 Adam Thanks, Abby.

15:11 Yes.

15:12 Drew What's up?

15:14 I think I may be developing an eating disorder. And like, you know, I don't think I do, but I think like the logical part of me is kind of like noticing some things that maybe aren't normal, but I don't know because it's not like I talk about this to people.

15:34 Drew You're going to have to stop talking in riddles and code and put it out there for us.

15:42 Okay, I, when my boyfriend and I broke up, this was like my first serious boyfriend during high school. We broke up and I was just really depressed. It was this horrible breakup. It really just shattered me. And I just totally took the blame on myself. And I thought maybe if I was, you know, if I did something different, he wouldn't have done what he did or whatever.

16:06 Drew You know what, you're going to have to tell us what's happening right now.

16:08 Adam Well, Drew, I'm going to go number two, all right?

16:10 Drew Yeah, okay, I'll get you.

16:11 Adam I'll be back in about 10 minutes.

16:13 Drew Yeah, I'll be about right.

16:14 Adam Okay.

16:15 Drew Abby, what's happening now?

16:16 What's happening now?

16:17 Drew Yeah.

16:17 Um, well, I used to...

16:21 Drew Abby?

16:21 Yes.

16:22 Drew What's happening now?

16:24 Okay, I have a very controlling diet that I keep myself on. And I, you know, people tell me that I have an average weight.

16:36 Drew Which is what? What's your weight?

16:37 Um, like about 116, 118.

16:39 Drew How tall are you?

16:41 Five, six.

16:41 Drew You're fat. Have you lost any weight lately?

16:44 Um, yes.

16:45 Drew How much?

16:46 I don't know, cause I don't...

16:47 Drew Give me an approximate. Give me approximately.

16:50 Adam What do you mean you don't get on a scale?

16:51 Drew You just told so much of your weight. Wait, you're 116, 118 now?

16:53 Caller Yeah.

16:54 Drew And how much weight have you lost, roughly?

16:56 Caller About four pounds.

16:57 Drew And do you do any laxatives or vomiting or purging of any kind?

17:04 Caller No. I mean, I would like to.

17:08 Drew Okay, you have an impulse to purge.

17:09 Caller If I could like throw it up, but.

17:11 Drew All right. And do you think you're fat?

17:12 Caller Yeah.

17:13 Drew Okay. Well, that's it. You've described an eating disorder. Not a bad one, but you've got an eating disorder.

17:18 Adam 118 and 5'7.

17:19 Drew No, it's not bad, but this is a progressive.

17:22 Adam No, that's thin.

17:23 Drew It's light. It's thin, but she's only lost about four pounds. She keeps herself on a very restricted diet, and she has an impulse to purge, and she has a distorted body image. That's it. That's the eating disorder. It's going to get worse, Abby. You need to deal with this. When you have stressors, when you have things that happen in your life, you've found that they get worse still, and that's the way these things work. So really, the question is here, do you or do you not have it? Yes, you do. Do you or do you not need treatment? Absolutely, you need to look into this. These can be very serious.

17:48 Adam She doesn't need to check in.

17:49 Drew No, no, no, no.

17:51 Caller I don't know what to do. I noticed it, and then I...

17:55 Drew Just, you know what you need. You need just... Abby, I suspect you just need a therapist. You need somebody, a mental health professional, just to watch you and work with you. You don't have to go in a hospital. You don't have to panic. You just need somebody to pay attention. Now, the Pina Gallery in the production room here keeps asking about this shrine you made.

18:12 Caller Yeah. Oh my gosh. This makes me feel like a complete nutcase. Like, I used to... The first thing I noticed about girls is their body and like how... Like their weight or whatever. And I used to like go through magazines and like tear out pictures of like super thin models of like their bones sticking out of their shoulders and stuff.

18:35 Lesbian.

18:36 Caller I think it's like so beautiful. And I made like a poster of like the skinny, demented looking girls. And I like whenever I felt like eating that piece of chocolate, I'd just look at it and I'd be like, no.

18:52 All right.

18:52 Adam So there at the shrine again.

18:54 Drew So you've got therapy. Yeah. You got the syndrome. Time to look into a bit.

18:59 Adam Yeah. You know that. What is that? I'm losing my mind. It's not decapage. But what is that? When they do that?

19:05 Drew Is that a montage?

19:08 Adam I want to call it montage, too, but it's not a montage.

19:10 Drew Decapage. Isn't that right?

19:12 Adam I don't know if that's decapage.

19:15 Drew Collage. There you go. Collage.

19:17 True.

19:18 Caller True. What?

19:19 True.

19:19 Adam How come you and I don't know the exact same things?

19:23 Drew That's not true.

19:23 Adam Do you know what I'm saying?

19:24 Drew No, no.

19:24 Adam I think it's true.

19:25 Drew I always know nothing.

19:27 Adam Well, but collage is real straightforward.

19:30 Drew Yes, I know. Because we both went simultaneously down the decapage road.

19:34 Adam But I had a brain fart on collage. Why do you have a brain fart on collage? Do you know what I'm saying?

19:40 Drew You know what? We spend too much time together.

19:42 Adam But for intelligent guys who have to call up words all the time, that is a three.

19:47 Drew Yes.

19:48 Adam Why do we both stumble on a three? Do you know what I'm saying?

19:52 Drew Yeah, I think what's more interesting is that we do it together. That's the interesting part.

19:57 Adam I worry.

19:58 Drew Yeah, it worries me too.

19:58 Adam I worry you know nothing sometimes, Drew.

20:00 Drew Martin is 21, Martin.

20:02 Adam You know what, Drew?

20:02 Drew What, Adam?

20:03 Adam I think you screw with me.

20:05 Drew I mean, I pretend not to know things.

20:07 Adam Yeah, on an average of three times a week, I say something obvious. I have a brain fart. I go, you know, what is that called? Or the thing that goes in the horse's mouth, and you go, I don't know.

20:18 Drew All right, listen, I don't want to get...

20:19 Adam I think that's passive aggressive.

20:21 Drew Maybe. I don't want you to be attacking me for what I'm about to say. You have us so goddamn intimidated around here, I don't want to say anything wrong, because then you'll start abusing me for not knowing anything, so I just shut off and say, I don't know. I go to the safe zone, which is, I don't know, whatever, you answer, smart guy.

20:36 Adam You don't know gets you more abuse.

20:37 Drew No, no, it doesn't, because then you just sit and perseverate about what you want to think about, and see, rather than getting onto me and what I don't know. So you see, you discourage me from participating with you.

20:46 Adam Montage and decoupage. It's exactly two things that were in my head, by the way.

20:51 Drew Martin.

20:52 Hi, yo, what's up Adam, Dr. Drew.

20:55 Drew Hey, Martin.

20:55 Adam Yo.

20:56 I read that, you know, I know that it's potentially dangerous to finger a girl if you have like a bloody cut on your finger.

21:03 Drew Yeah, that wouldn't be the greatest hygiene practice.

21:05 Adam Yeah, there's a hemorrhaging while you're doing this.

21:08 Drew There's an arterial bleeder coming right out of your finger.

21:10 Adam Sure.

21:11 But I'm wondering, like, I've also read, like, even if you have hangnails, that it could be potentially dangerous.

21:16 Drew For what you could get?

21:18 Yeah, for the person inserting the finger.

21:20 Drew Yeah, yeah. But you could freak yourself out imagining all these possibilities.

21:26 Yeah.

21:26 Drew There are endless possibilities here. I think one of the ways to protect yourself is to select your partners carefully, know them well, take your time getting to know them, and then wear latex gloves and condoms when you touch your partner.

21:37 I mean, by latex gloves, don't you think that's going to be like over-portable?

21:39 Drew Yes. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

21:41 Oh, okay.

21:41 Drew All right. I think that it's reasonable that if it really were that serious or common, a lot of touching goes on in this world.

21:49 Yeah.

21:50 Drew If there were a significant source of transmission of anything, there would be a lot of stuff being transmitted.

21:53 Adam Well, what are you doing, Martin? Well, this is the thing.

21:56 It's like I hooked up with this prostitute. All right.

22:01 Drew Well, already, you're putting yourself in a risky situation.

22:04 I made sure that I wasn't going to do too much. But I figured one of the safest things I could do was fingers, since I didn't have any cuts on my fingers. But then I was reading on the Internet, even if you have hangnails.

22:15 Drew By the way, what's the risk you're going to offend her if you put on a glove or something too? I mean, if you want to protect yourself.

22:21 Adam Who wants to put a glove on a finger of a prostitute?

22:23 Drew A finger of a prostitute?

22:26 Adam Listen, the only time you should finger a prostitute is in a police line up. Write that down.

22:31 I got it. I didn't put on the glove. I mean, I had nothing like no big bloody hangnail.

22:37 Drew You're probably fine.

22:38 Adam No, no, I'm worried about this kid's self-esteem.

22:40 Drew Yeah, yeah.

22:41 Adam Hooks up with a prostitute and fingers her?

22:43 Yeah, I don't know. Maybe I'll try to go for it all next time.

22:47 Adam I'm kind of thinking of that. She didn't touch you?

22:50 What's that?

22:51 Adam She didn't touch you?

22:52 Oh yeah, there's a little bit more, but that was the main thing that I was concerned about.

22:55 Drew Wait a minute, did she give you oral sex or something?

22:57 Oh no, we didn't do that. Just most like, you know, rubbing bodies against each other. A dry hump, I guess.

23:04 Adam How much did this cost you?

23:05 It cost me, this one, like $150. Whoa. Yeah. I kind of regret it, but...

23:12 Adam That's a lot in Martin dollars. I'll tell you that.

23:16 It's not something I should worry about too much. I didn't see any blood on my fingers, nothing like that.

23:21 Adam You should worry more about hooking up with the prostitute and fingering her. That's the real tragedy here.

23:27 Yeah. It's the first and last, hopefully.

23:30 Drew All right. We'll get out there and get a relationship.

23:33 Adam Jesus. What kind of thinking is that?

23:34 Drew I don't know. We're going to break.

23:36 Adam Remember we talked to that actor friend of ours who went down on the prostitute?

23:41 Drew Who was that?

23:42 Adam I don't want to say his name.

23:44 Drew Was it on the air?

23:46 Adam No, it wasn't on the air. He was driving me home and he told me about it.

23:50 Get two chicks in the same pit.

23:54 Adam I told him, listen, going down on a prostitute is like renting a car, taking it to the car wash and returning it. Nothing in it for you. That's just throwing money into the wind, buddy. Jesus Christ. And could you imagine, think about this, Drew.

24:13 Drew Yeah.

24:14 Adam You tell me if there's a scenario that exists where a young female solicits a male prostitute just to give him a hummer. Do you know what I'm saying?

24:26 Drew But I could imagine that, though. That seems more like what a woman would be.

24:30 No.

24:32 Adam You've never seen it. There's not even male prostitutes nail guys.

24:37 Drew Right, right, right.

24:38 Adam All right. All right. I'll do about 20 minutes on collages when we come back. What do you say there, Drew?

24:43 Drew Decoupage, really, would you? What the hell is decoupage?

24:47 Adam Decoupage is when you take out, you cut out pictures and you stick them on a piece of cardboard. And decoupage is like where you take little pieces of colored Kleenex or something and stick it to a lampshade.

24:58 Drew Yes, that's right.

24:59 Look for the areas.

25:00 Fill that space.

25:01 Adam There's not a man alive who's ever done a collage, not a straight man alive.

25:05 Drew True.

25:06 Adam Do you know that this is?

25:07 They can do it.

25:08 Drew You can do it.

25:09 Adam Strictly chick material, Drew?

25:11 Drew Strictly, and we'll be back.

25:12 Adam Okay, Drew, call your goddamn patient, would you?

25:14 Drew I am right now.

25:15 Adam All right. Bye. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. I'm in Las Vegas tonight. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Drew is home side. Manning the microphone, Drew. You all right there?

26:04 Drew I'm good. How are you? You're in Vegas. When are you coming back?

26:08 Adam Coming back tomorrow night.

26:10 Drew Then we switch places. I go to Minnesota tomorrow, and you come back home.

26:13 Adam That's all right.

26:14 Drew Good time.

26:14 Adam Who's coming in tomorrow night? Is someone coming in tomorrow night?

26:16 Drew Ron Jeremy.

26:18 Adam Oh, well, we don't even need you. That's true. I think Ron Jeremy has done, I think he holds the record for porn films.

26:26 Drew Does he really?

26:27 Adam Yeah. I have seen his penis more than I've seen my own.

26:32 Drew I'm very proud.

26:33 Adam I absolutely have.

26:34 Drew I'm proud of you and I'm proud of him.

26:35 Adam I could completely pick it out of a lineup.

26:39 Drew What's up, Patrick?

26:41 Caller Yeah, I was wondering, since my wife been pregnant, she's in her sixth month right now. Ever since she's been pregnant, after we had sex, she has bad contractions.

26:53 Drew Have you talked to her, have you talked to obstetrician about this?

26:57 Caller Well, we did talk to our regular doctor, but he didn't really understand what was going on. She also gets real bad swelling, like right behind the knees, and she has about 20 minutes or so after sex, she had a hard time walking. She can't even get up and walk.

27:15 Adam You're really doing a job on her, Patrick.

27:17 Drew How's her blood pressure?

27:20 Caller It's fine.

27:21 Drew It's been fine.

27:22 Caller No, I don't think it's that.

27:24 Drew Her legs aren't swelling? Her legs aren't swelling? Her legs are not swelling?

27:29 Caller No, just right behind her knees, as she said, it's swelling.

27:32 Drew Are you there with her right now?

27:34 Caller No, I'm not.

27:36 Drew Well, you got to talk to the obstetrician. You should not be having sex until you talk to the obstetrician. I'm sorry. But you want to induce abortion? This is what it may possibly be doing it. You're endangering the kids' brain. Well, you're endangering this pregnancy. Some people start to get problems in this third trimester. Yeah, if there's no problem, people can go on having sex. But you're starting to have premature labor. These may be just these Braxton-Hicks contractions, which are nothing, but you need that evaluated. I don't know what's going on with this knee situation.

28:04 Adam Patrick, you tell her Drew said she was on BJ detail until she hatched that kid.

28:10 Drew We call it BJD.

28:12 Adam BJD.

28:13 Drew BJ Duty.

28:15 Adam My dad was on that in the Army for a while.

28:17 Drew Good times.

28:17 Adam He's told me all kinds of horror stories. You know what I like about guys?

28:20 Drew Was that in prison or was that... I'm sorry.

28:23 Adam Guys are like, yeah, I've been banging my wife and she's got some hemorrhaging, and she can't walk too good, and she goes into contractions. And I'll tell you, she barely can get off the bed and get me a cold one after I'm done with her. She's six months pregnant, and I've been going at her pretty good for the last few months. Talked to a doctor. It never occurred to me. What if he says I can't bang her anymore?

28:54 Drew Yeah. I think that's why they avoid it, thankfully. Brittany, 18.

28:58 Yes.

28:58 Drew What's up?

28:59 Hi.

29:00 Drew Come right ahead.

29:01 Okay. I was in a car accident a week ago today, and I wasn't hurt. Nobody else was hurt. But the night after, Thanksgiving night, I had a really bad, bad chest pain. It was like the worst physical pain I've ever felt.

29:19 Drew Was it sharp, like when you took a deep breath, you felt like somebody's stabbing you?

29:22 I don't know. It was... I don't really remember. It was just...

29:27 Drew Worst pain I ever had. I can't really remember it. But it was the worst pain I ever had.

29:29 Well, no, no. I mean...

29:30 Adam Well, it was a hole like four days ago, wasn't it?

29:33 Drew Yeah, after all.

29:33 Well, no. I mean, like, you know the feeling you get when you have to throw up and it gets really bad and it's creeping up to your throat? It was like that. Only it was stuck in my chest and I couldn't throw up and I couldn't stand up and I couldn't sit down and it hurt to lay down. And my mom said that it was just bruised from where my seatbelt was and my grandma said it was a panic attack. I couldn't breathe, hurt to breathe.

29:58 Drew No, no, no, no, no. That's not a panic attack. You may have been panicking in response to how you were feeling.

30:04 I didn't think it was that.

30:05 Drew No, you need to have that. Are you still feeling bad?

30:08 Well, today it came back for a few minutes in my chest and my back, my lower right back has been hurting a lot today. I can't bend over. I have to squat down.

30:18 Drew That's probably playing the odds. It is probably a back problem and then you get what's called a costochondritis as a secondary phenomenon where the muscles and the ribs constrict and spasm. Usually, though, that hurts to move or take a deep breath. You really get the pain then. The concern I have is that there are kinds of internal injuries you can get too that can present like that. If anything ruptures into your plural space, the space between the lung and the chest wall, it can cause tremendous irritation like bleeding. And it is something that needs to be looked at.

30:49 Well, I'm supposed to go to the doctor next week.

30:52 Drew No, you need to go.

30:52 As soon as they could get me in. I've tried calling twice.

30:55 Drew Well, you may have to go to the emergency room then. This is something I wouldn't screw around with. The fact that it's getting better is good and all. That's fine. But I don't know. I can't tell you it's not something to be really worried about.

31:04 Adam What happened with the accident?

31:05 It was, I was on the highway going to my fiance's house. And it was just a chain reaction. There was the first car slammed on his brakes. And then another car slammed on his brakes. And then I slammed on my brakes.

31:18 Adam Did it destroy the car?

31:20 Well, yeah, it's pretty messed up.

31:22 Drew They said it was a minor car accident.

31:24 Yeah, my car didn't get towed or anything. But I couldn't drive it away.

31:28 Caller It had to get towed.

31:30 Adam Engaged at 18?

31:32 Drew Yeah. There's something called, Brittany, deceleration injuries. When you come up against an airbag or a seatbelt, your body stops, but your organs keep moving forward. And stuff can tear and rip and get bleeding. It can be a big mess. And it's not something to screw around with, frankly.

31:47 Well, I mean, I didn't feel hurt at the time of the accident.

31:50 Drew Brittany, Brittany, Brittany, please. Just on a possibility that something ripped, an artery or vessel tore and filled the plural space of blood, and that's what was hurting, that's a real possibility. And that's something that needs to be dealt with.

32:06 Adam And listen, don't get married at 18. You're going to give your dad a heart attack.

32:11 Drew By the way.

32:11 Adam Jesus Christ. And you know, these are these accidents, by the way, Drew, where you hear these stories. I think this may have happened to, like, Sam Kinison, although this was a much worse accident.

32:22 Drew Where they get up and walk out and look at the scene and then fall over.

32:28 Adam Right, right, right. They get in this bad accident. They think they're fine. There's no blood or anything. They're walking around. Meanwhile, they're a aortas torn off their heart, right?

32:36 Drew That's exactly what happens. There are vessels inside that can rip, and it can be a real, real serious problem. There you go. Shane 27.

32:45 Yes.

32:46 Drew What's going on, Shane?

32:47 Yeah, my wife was diagnosed with mysophobia a while back.

32:51 Drew Mysophobia?

32:52 Yeah, it's a fear of germs. And this is something that started off real innocent. I mean, she'd be have, she would have baby wipes in the car and wipe her hands whenever she get in the car.

33:02 Drew Wait a minute. Who diagnosed her with this?

33:03 This is a psychiatrist or a psychologist.

33:07 Drew All right. She needs to see a psychiatrist.

33:09 A psychiatrist.

33:10 Drew She needs to see a psychiatrist. She needs to see some.

33:11 Adam Mysophobia.

33:12 Drew Yeah.

33:13 Because I say, what the hell is that when you first said it?

33:17 Drew But here's my concern. What you're about to describe is somebody that developing a progressive, either obsessive compulsive problem where they're constantly washing everything obsessively or some sort of thought problem where they're constantly believe that they're infected.

33:31 Caller Right.

33:31 Drew And either one of those, yes, the symptom you could call a mesophobia, but the syndrome is something far more serious.

33:36 Caller Okay.

33:37 Drew Does she have anything else besides this preoccupation with germs?

33:40 Caller No. I mean, this is, well, she had some breathing problems a while ago that has nothing to do with it. We've noticed this. It has been progressive throughout the years. And I'm afraid that it's going to get worse to where it's going to affect our marriage really bad.

33:54 Drew Well, now, what are her breathing problems?

33:56 Caller She had hypersensitivity pneumonitis. Wow.

33:59 Drew I mean, that's a serious deal. I mean, she must have been on prednisone for a long time.

34:02 Caller Yeah. Well, she wasn't on it that much, but, you know, when I took her to the hospital with her, her O2 stats was in the 70s.

34:10 Drew That's an unusual and serious deal. Adam, it's like an allergic reaction in your lungs, where it fills up with fluid.

34:16 Adam Bad times.

34:17 Drew Is she taking anything chronically for that?

34:19 Caller No. I mean, she's all over that now.

34:22 Drew She doesn't have to take any medication?

34:23 Caller No, she hasn't had to have any medication.

34:25 Drew Does she take anything else currently?

34:26 Caller Nothing right now. She's real sensitive to medication. I mean, we see some of the side effects on some of this stuff and she'd be worse off if she took it. Yeah.

34:34 Drew I mean, with her medicines for the hypersensitivity process.

34:38 Caller Right. I mean, she's not taking... She has... her last thing with her breathing was over a year ago. And the doctor... We were... I'm a college student right now and we don't have that much income. She has been working since...

34:52 Drew Yeah, but you have student health services that should be able to see her too, right?

34:56 Caller Some...

34:58 Drew They're usually...

34:58 Caller And mental... there's like not a mental... but counseling. They got some counseling.

35:02 Drew Well, you need... she needs to see... she needs a formal diagnosis because there's a possibility there's an organic component to this. This may have something... this could in some way be related to this pulmonary process she has.

35:12 Caller Okay.

35:13 Drew So really, this is something that she needs carefully.

35:15 Caller Is this going to be like therapy or medication or how do you treat this?

35:19 Drew This is going to be... I don't know what the diagnosis is, but this kind of thing responds to medication.

35:23 Caller Okay.

35:23 Drew Okay.

35:24 Caller All right.

35:24 Drew All right, Shane.

35:25 Adam Hey, Drew.

35:26 Drew Yeah.

35:26 Adam Hey, good times. Good time.

35:28 Caller Drew.

35:29 Drew The Love Doctor.

35:30 Adam Yeah. Speaking of tragedy.

35:32 Drew Yeah.

35:33 Adam You want to hear tragedy.

35:34 Drew Yeah.

35:36 Adam The state of the snacks served on airplanes.

35:41 Drew Are we going to hear about this again? The party mix? Party mix on Southwest?

35:46 Adam No. You know what I got on United today? And by the way, the first class ticket from United to Vegas.

35:53 Drew Doesn't mean anything.

35:54 Adam 6.85.

35:55 Drew What?

35:56 Adam Round trip.

35:57 Drew What? Did you even get fed?

36:00 Adam No. You know what you get though? Southwest is 89 bucks.

36:03 Drew You've been totally ripped off.

36:05 Adam Well, I don't pay for it. Who cares?

36:07 Drew Oh my God.

36:08 Adam I got the fancy ranch-flavored snack mix.

36:14 Drew Is that the one with the mustard-flavored rye crisps?

36:16 Adam Yeah. Oh, good times. Let me ask this, everybody. And Drew, you're old enough to remember. When did the word fancy go so terribly south? When did it just start to stand for S? Do you know what I mean? I think at a certain point in our history, fancy actually meant fancy. And now it's a euphemism for pure S.

36:38 Drew In the 60s, the whole idea of party industry, or party things, party products, that's when fancy became crappy.

36:49 Adam I see the word fancy on anything and I start running now. It just means it's S. I don't know, it's like the way you cover up for a crappy product. But Drew, you want just a little insight to my mind?

37:06 Drew Did you make the captain come out of the cockpit?

37:09 Adam No, but look, here's the deal. I love nuts. I love nuts, I love peanuts, and you can't eat them on the goddamn plane anymore because there's a handful of pussies who say they're going to go into shock if they absorb some peanut dust.

37:21 Drew And you know what? There is good evidence that nuts are good for you. I mean, seriously good for you. Now, how about all that processed chemical crap that are in the fancy mixes?

37:29 Adam It's got to be awful. All I'm saying is, if you're going to pay 670 bucks for a first class ticket, you should just get, let's just give you some smoked almonds. Give you a 50 cent worth of smoked almonds. But here's the real, here's the killer, Drew. And I didn't do anything. I did have a small talk with the stewardess, but it said, it said, fancy ranch flavored snack mix. She handed me and I thought, this is going to taste like the inside of my grandpa's asshole. I thought to myself, this is going to taste like hell. I mean, if this ass came from a vending machine and you paid 55 cents, you'd be kicking the crap out of the front of it.

38:09 Drew Yes.

38:10 Adam You would be outraged.

38:11 Drew Yeah, you'd call the business, whoever owned the building, you'd tip the damn thing over.

38:16 Adam That's right. It'd be like 55 cents for this. I'm outraged. You'd get Ralph Nader and Judd McElvain on the phone simultaneously. So here's where it gets good. In small letters on the front though, it says, with almonds. I think to myself, wait a minute. I do enjoy these almonds. I'm sure if I could commandeer seven or 800 packets of this fancy dried crap, I could get like eight almonds out of it.

38:45 Drew The almond slices.

38:46 Adam Because you know there ain't going to be, you know, and I'm doing the over under on the almonds, two and a half in the packet.

38:54 Drew Yeah.

38:54 Adam I tear the thing open like I'm a crime scene investigator at the World Trade Center. I crack the package open, I dump the entire contents out onto that little circular drink thing so it doesn't go anywhere. I start picking through it with my pen. Not one goddamn almond in there.

39:14 Drew No, no.

39:15 Not one.

39:15 Drew No, I've had that mixed. They have almond slices, like almond slivers.

39:19 Adam No slivers. Listen, Drew, do not undermine this story.

39:24 Caller All right.

39:25 Adam Not a sliver, not a crumb, not a piece. Not the skin that goes around the almond. Nothing.

39:32 I don't respect the story telling.

39:34 Adam Outraged, fancy. Somebody find out what happened to the word fancy. Okay. We'll take a little break. We'll come back. Who are we coming back with, Drew?

39:44 Drew There's a guy named Dan on the line here. You pick this one. It's between somebody wants to know why women like nice guys or don't like nice guys but say they want to date them and a guy whose counselor told him to be abusive to his wife. That sounds more interesting.

39:57 Adam I like to talk to the abusive counselor guy. And we'll find out what happened to fancy after this. Hey, it's Loveline, everybody. I love that riff. I'm Adam, that's Drew over there. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Ron Jeremy, legendary porn star and sometimes actor Ron Jeremy in Tomorrow Night. And I'm going to be the host of the show, and sometimes actor Ron Jeremy in Tomorrow Night. Who are we talking to now, Drew?

40:55 Drew Dan, he's 43. Dan?

40:57 Caller Hi. I've had some marriage problems. It's been made ten years. And two years ago, I went to a psychiatrist to get some help with it. And towards the end of our sessions, he said, you know, you need to be abusive to your wife, physically, emotionally, sexually, and it will help your marriage and it will help your wife. Well, this corresponded to something a caller said last night, said that when she was being abused, she felt safe. And that's what the psychiatrist said, my wife feels safe and loved when she's being abused. And I can't, that's inappropriate. I can't do that to her.

41:37 Drew I agree.

41:38 Adam You want me to do it?

41:39 Drew I'm not sure. I'd be very surprised if that's what he told you. I'm not saying you're lying, but I'd be surprised if that's what he meant you to hear. Let's put it that way.

41:47 Adam Did he use the word abusive?

41:52 Caller He said that my wife feels safe, protected, and loved when she's in an abusive environment.

42:01 Drew I have no doubt that he said that, but that doesn't mean he's recommending you to do that.

42:06 Adam Doesn't mean he said abuser.

42:07 Drew He's explaining to you why she is the way she is and why that needs to be dismantled, and why you certainly, certainly shouldn't reinforce that old way of doing things.

42:18 Caller Yeah.

42:19 Drew Let me interrupt you for a second. Adam, I never cease to be amazed by how different what people walk away from what I tell people is as opposed to what I intend them to hear. You know what I mean? I figure it's about 5 percent of what I say.

42:34 Adam Well, that's why it's important to be abusive because you figure they're going to talk smack about you and misquote you anyway.

42:40 Drew This happened to me today when you say something and people walk away or they at least behave in a way that they use the information, they change the story. It's just very, very difficult for people to... You got to be really, really super clear with people.

42:52 What's my dad doing in Israel?

42:54 Drew There you go.

42:54 Adam There you go. Well, you know, yeah, he was stating what we know from doing this show and what you guys hear from listening.

43:01 Drew And what he heard last night.

43:04 Adam People grow up in this kind of environment. It's what they know and it is. So it's it's almost a huggy blanket for them.

43:11 Drew It's familiar.

43:11 Adam It's what they know.

43:12 Drew It's I am that person. I'm that person who is abused. And that's who they love. People that abuse it to them.

43:19 Adam My question. Get Dan back on.

43:21 Drew He's still with us. He's behaving himself.

43:23 Adam I'm wondering, Dan, why? Why you thought he was telling you to do that?

43:28 Caller Well, you know, it gets worse. Now, this guy was an MD. So I after he said that to me, I got up and I said, I can't go to this guy anymore. I'm going to go find another one.

43:37 Drew Hang on a second. He didn't tell you to be abusive, right?

43:40 Caller Okay. But I went to another psychiatrist, an MD., and after we get through the initial few sessions, he pretty much says the same identical thing.

43:50 Drew Right. And we're saying the same thing, too.

43:52 Adam You hear the same thing.

43:54 Drew Yeah. And that doesn't mean you should be that way. That means that's what's wrong with your wife.

44:00 Caller Okay. So what do I do?

44:02 Drew You get her into therapy and you keep her there. But I got a pretty clear idea why she's into Dan, though.

44:09 Adam Hey, Dan.

44:10 Yeah?

44:11 Adam What kind of environment does she come from?

44:16 Caller Well, there has been some abuse in her family. And going through therapy and counseling and all that stuff, she wouldn't have anything to do with it. But me and my brother-in-law, who's also her sister has the same problems, we traced it back over a hundred years, like six different people, literally over a hundred years.

44:43 Drew That's the way this goes.

44:44 Caller There's been an element of abuse.

44:45 Drew Sure. That's the way this... Do you ever listen to this show? I mean, that's all we talk about, is how this goes generation after generation.

44:51 Adam They got a rich tradition there. They're proud people. Well, listen, Dan, I feel for you.

44:56 Drew It's time to break that cycle.

44:58 Adam And for you to sort of listen with half an ear and then fly off the handle or jump to these sort of erroneous conclusions is not gonna do her any good.

45:08 Drew It's part of the problem.

45:10 Adam You get her into therapy and just listen. Don't be ready to pounce.

45:16 Drew Listen to the people. I know you have a problem with authority, but the authorities know what they're talking about. Let them do their job. You have to create leverage to get her into and keep her in treatment.

45:25 Adam I kind of get the feeling that Dan wasn't that interested in the process and was looking for an out.

45:31 Drew Well, not an out. You know what I'm saying? He's looking for something to blame.

45:34 Adam Well, but I mean, he's looking for... There's a lot of people who go to the shrink to say they went to announce that this guy was a quack, that this guy told him to do something that they didn't tell them to do so that their friends can say, Well, I told you, you know, when you buy one of them rent-a-friends, that ain't nothing. You spend that money on a jet ski, you'll be happier. And they go, all right, and that's all the out you need. I mean, Dan ain't going back, is he? He went to a bunch of guys, a bunch of doctors, MDs, they told him to smack his wife. So would you go back, Drew?

46:13 Drew Oh God, isn't that bizarre how the doctor says, your wife finds abuse, it's synonymous with love for her, and that's what the source of the problem is. You're telling me to be abusing my wife, I'm getting out of here.

46:25 Adam Yeah, just going with open ears there, Dan.

46:28 Drew No, no, trust. People don't trust. And you know what, when you've been abused by your parents, it's hard to trust. And Dan has some abuse too, that's what he shares with his wife. Oh boy. Yeah. Here we go. Good times. That's where the paranoia about the man comes from. You know what I'm saying?

46:46 Adam Yeah. Yeah. But I do believe it's a sort of preconceived notion, which is this ain't gonna work, but I'll do it just because everyone's telling me to do it. And then they go in and they go, see, I told you.

46:59 Drew It's a good out. All right, we got to go to break.

47:01 Adam Oh, we do. That's right.

47:02 Drew All right.

47:02 Adam All right.

47:03 Drew Here we go.

47:03 Adam We'll take a little break. We'll be back with more of the show right after this.

47:07 Here it is.

47:08 Adam Bottom line, it sucks being single today.

47:10 Tons of lame people and no decent prospects. Call the Dateline.

47:14 Call the Dateline. Call the Dateline.

47:15 Caller 1-877-889-DATE.

47:21 Loveline will be right back. So get your problems ready. Ready.

48:03 Adam Hey, y'all, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's my good partner over there, Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, porn star Ron Jeremy. I think he has the record for the most porn films. We'll ask him about that tomorrow night, but he's like 1,600 or 2,000 porn movies.

48:25 Drew So proud. So you're doing okay?

48:30 Adam Yeah, I couldn't be better.

48:31 Drew All right, let's go to calls, shall we?

48:33 Adam All right.

48:33 Drew All right, Don is 24. You're still reeling after that Dan guy and his distorted reality?

48:39 Adam Yeah, I was just thinking about him during the commercial and feeling how angry he was.

48:45 Drew Yeah, I deal with people like that all day, every day. It is so frustrating because you try to help, but their assumption is you're trying to hurt.

48:53 Adam Yeah, but Drew, do you know how you tell me how we have to deal with terrorists, that force is the only thing they understand?

49:03 Drew Yeah.

49:04 Adam You've got to start incorporating that into your patience.

49:07 Drew Yeah, it could be.

49:09 Adam Yeah, a little rough love.

49:10 Drew Don, 24.

49:12 Adam 24?

49:12 Drew Yeah.

49:12 Adam All right.

49:14 Caller What's up, Don?

49:15 Caller Well, I have this one testicle that when I'm having sex, it will actually go up into my stomach area. When I'm playing myself, it does that too.

49:23 Drew When you play with yourself.

49:25 Caller Well, I guess all guys do, so it's not really that big of a deal.

49:28 Caller Is that like a major problem?

49:32 Drew Adam, don't you have something funny to say about the-

49:34 No.

49:34 Adam As a matter of fact, I was just thinking about getting a nice laugh dance.

49:40 Drew What was that?

49:40 Adam How the hell is that, Don?

49:42 Caller I'm sorry. That's my laugh.

49:44 Drew Whoa.

49:44 Adam Oh yeah. That's a good one, Don.

49:47 Drew It's a sea lion.

49:49 Caller I just need to know if that's like, I mean, because it hurts. I mean, it's not like it's a comfortable thing.

49:52 Drew We just want to listen to your laugh.

49:53 Adam Yeah. He laughs like a muttley from the-

49:56 Drew No, no. It's a sea lion...

49:56 Adam .the wacky racers.

49:57 Caller It gets me weird, right? It's a little fish.

50:04 Adam I'm saying, I wish my nuts tucked up inside of me.

50:08 Drew Like landing gear?

50:09 Caller Yeah.

50:10 Drew Oh, at the time of the lap dance. Yeah. I guess, what's the name? Minka hurt you, right? Yeah.

50:13 Adam They just put a shin right into my sack.

50:17 Caller If it felt good, it'd be okay, but it doesn't feel good.

50:19 Drew Yeah, Dan, it's normal. It's not. It's normal. It can sometimes be associated with hernia, but your testes come from your back and descend into the sack. Sometimes that little pathway can be left behind. When the quemisteric muscles contract during sexual arousal or ejaculation, one of them can pop back inside. You have to push it out even sometimes.

50:37 Caller Yeah.

50:38 Caller That's what I do every time.

50:39 Caller I just push it right back in.

50:40 Adam There you go. How about putting a rubber band or zip tie around the nuts and keeping them down there?

50:47 Drew Is that a potlap, do you think, Adam?

50:48 Caller No. I'm sober. Actually, I think it's cool that you guys talk about NA and stuff.

50:53 Caller I think that's awesome because I'm in CA right now and I've been there for like eight months.

50:56 Drew Yeah. But you had a good run with pot there, didn't you?

50:58 Caller Yeah, I did.

50:59 Drew Yeah. I hear that.

51:00 Caller Shocking.

51:01 Drew I hear it.

51:03 Caller No way.

51:05 Caller I can't stop her. It's going to make me laugh more.

51:07 Adam We've got to get this guy into the studio. Drew, is there something he could hang on to so that his nut wouldn't go up in his ass this way?

51:16 Drew He puts his fingers in his ears and gets a clothespin, puts it on his nose, and then blows real hard.

51:22 Adam The compressed air, internal pressure.

51:25 Drew Thumb in his mouth.

51:27 Adam Thumb in the mouth.

51:28 Drew Something in the ear. Yeah. Earplugs and the clothespin. There you go.

51:35 Adam There you go. Jesus, could you imagine Don when he was smoking weed?

51:40 Drew Oh, my God.

51:41 Adam I mean, like Don totally baked. Like, how, Drew, how much would you pay to get Don totally baked and watch Airplane or Fast Times at Ridgemont High with him?

51:53 Drew Oh, my God. You would have to watch anything. You'd laugh at him, he'd laugh at you, and it would cycle around.

51:57 Adam You could just get baked and watch the test pattern.

52:00 Caller Yeah, kill me, man.

52:03 Drew We're coming to Arizona this weekend, right?

52:05 Adam Yeah.

52:06 Drew Yeah, good times.

52:07 Adam Good times.

52:08 Drew Terry, 18, also Phoenix. What's up?

52:11 Caller Hi. I can't go to sleep, and then I won't be able to sleep for a couple of days, and then it'll just hit me and I'll sleep constantly. I can't help myself.

52:25 Drew How long has this been going on for?

52:28 Caller It's been going on like two months.

52:30 Drew Two months. Are you depressed?

52:32 Caller That's what my mom said, because she's on neural receptors because her emotions go up and down.

52:38 Drew So she has depression too, right?

52:40 Caller Well, she's not depressed, but she gets mad all the time.

52:44 Drew Well, Terry, irritability is a sign of depression. Depression doesn't necessarily mean sadness. Is she manic-depressive?

52:52 Caller I don't think so.

52:53 Drew That's another thing that can cause these extreme swings in the sleeplessness and excessive sleeping that follows that.

52:59 Adam Well, you don't sleep for two days?

53:04 Caller Well, no, I won't sleep for like a couple of days.

53:07 Drew Do you not want to sleep during that time? You're not tired at all?

53:10 Caller Well, I go to bed, but I just lay there for like hours.

53:12 Drew Are you not tired?

53:14 Caller No, I'm not tired at all. It just feels like I'm totally awake.

53:17 Drew Yeah, you should get this looked into, Terry, seriously. There are other things like thyroid conditions and what not that can do this, but this is something worth evaluating because there's actually some good evidence that right around your age until about the age of 22, if these swings start becoming more substantial, if they're not contained and managed, they become permanently more intense. The best way I can describe it to you, it's like there are swings of a pendulum, and if you get that momentum going, it'll keep going at a very high rate, while if you contain it now, it tends to stay contained for the long-term better, okay?

53:51 Caller Okay.

53:52 Drew Terry, listen, it's a medical problem, get it evaluated, okay? And you'll be sorry if you don't. Is that clear enough?

53:59 Adam Whatever.

54:00 Drew Yeah, I know.

54:01 But it's like, I don't have anything that would cause this.

54:03 Drew Terry, you were born with this. It's something that just happens to some people, and you already said your mom has to be on stabilizers, and it tends to go in families, okay?

54:13 Caller So like nothing I can do about it, because I don't want to be on drugs.

54:17 Adam Just hang up on her, would you please?

54:18 Drew Yeah.

54:19 Adam All right, that's enough.

54:20 Drew That's Dan as an 18-year-old female.

54:23 Adam Yeah, it's like, listen, honey, go get yourself checked out. You got a problem.

54:27 Drew Whatever.

54:30 Adam Hey, Drew, you know what I was thinking?

54:31 Drew What?

54:32 Adam Don't you wish ATMs gave out fives and tens too?

54:37 Drew I'm not in Las Vegas right now, so it doesn't matter when you're in Los Angeles.

54:41 Adam No, but here's what I'm saying. You ever get yourself into this trouble? You go to the ATM, you get out a couple of hundred bucks worth of 20s and you're walking around. If you go to Vegas, now all you got is 20s in your pocket. You're checking into the hotel and I got a bag the size of a bowling ball bag. I mean, it's the size of like a wig bag or something. It's a foot by foot. The guy grabs it out of my hand and says, Mr. Corolla, let me help you to the elevator with that. And I go, no, no, that's OK. And he goes, no, no problem at all. And he walks me over to the elevator 50 feet away and hands it to me. Now he's standing there and I'm thinking, all I got is 20 bucks. I got a bunch of 20s. I got to give him 20. So I give him 20 and then I go get my car. And it's the same thing. You know, the guy brings the car around.

55:30 Drew You gave him 20 bucks for the whole.

55:34 Adam I'm staying in a nice hotel. The guy's like, yes, Mr. Corolla, yes, you're looking smart today, Mr. Corolla. We're so happy to have you back.

55:42 Drew Bellagio, where are you?

55:43 Adam No, Four Seasons.

55:44 Drew Oh, yeah, yeah.

55:46 Adam We're so happy to have you back. Did you have a safe flight? I take it that everything will be in order here for you. So the guy's kissing ass. Of course, you want to give him something. But you give him 20 bucks. And then the guy brings the car around. And again, it's like 20 bucks and just 20, 20, 20. I just wish the thing would spit out some change.

56:04 Drew All right.

56:05 Adam Like an ATM that spat out a roll of nickels or something?

56:08 Drew Yeah. Or how about just a change machine nearby that doesn't do coins? Steve, 30.

56:13 Caller Hi.

56:14 Drew Hey, what's up?

56:15 Caller When I go down on my girlfriend, she gets an irritation and she went to go see her gynecologist and she said it was the pH of my saliva. I was wondering if there's anything I can do.

56:28 Drew No.

56:29 Adam Can you put like a mouthful, get a mouthful of baking soda or something before it goes down on her?

56:35 Drew No.

56:36 Adam Really? The pH in your saliva?

56:39 Drew I don't, by the way, believe that. But I mean, I don't believe that has a significant impact. But I don't see how you can just change the pH of your saliva.

56:46 Adam Or you like that alien?

56:47 Drew It's like trying to change the pH in your blood.

56:49 Adam It's just like if you loogied on someone would it burn a hole in them?

56:54 Caller I never heard of it before, but the gynecologist said she's heard about it a few times.

56:59 Adam Sounds to me like the gynecologist was just kind of reaching.

57:03 Drew Getting rid of her a little bit. No, it's an interesting way to approach this. Did he or she give any suggestions of what you might do?

57:09 Caller No.

57:10 Drew No?

57:11 Caller No gargling with hydrogen peroxide or something.

57:14 Drew Yeah, no, I don't see where that's going to change it.

57:17 Adam What about when you kiss her? No problems?

57:20 Caller No, no problems.

57:23 Adam Well, you got a good excuse for not going down on her.

57:26 Caller Well, fun to do though.

57:28 Drew Does she get it?

57:29 Adam Oh, one of those guys. Troublemaker, huh?

57:32 Drew Yeah. What does she have? Vaginal Irritation?

57:34 Caller Yeah.

57:35 Drew That's it?

57:36 Caller Sometimes a new yeast infection.

57:38 Drew She gets recurrent yeast infections? How does she know it's not from your penis or a condom or something else?

57:45 Caller Trial and error, I guess.

57:47 Drew What, you left, you stopped having sex with her and started just having oral sex?

57:52 Caller A couple of times, yeah.

57:53 Drew Twice? In those two times she developed an infection? Why does that not seem sufficient to me?

58:01 Adam I don't know.

58:01 Drew It's not a trial.

58:02 Adam This all sounds spurious.

58:05 Drew Yeah, I agree with you.

58:06 Adam I mean, if she wouldn't get a yeast infection from him, his pH balance, would she?

58:12 Drew Well, as you know, anything can upset that delicate ecosystem down there.

58:17 Adam Yeah, Jesus Christ.

58:19 Drew Yes, it could be his saliva, but maybe it's the pH of his saliva. What are you going to do about that?

58:24 Adam We ought to just put the vagina on the endangered species list and just leave it alone.

58:29 Drew Yeah.

58:30 Adam Do you know what I'm saying?

58:31 Drew Well, yeah.

58:31 Adam It's too much.

58:32 Drew Yeah, it's kind of like a rain forest.

58:34 Adam It's too much work, yeah. We can't build on it. It'll throw the whole system off out of balance.

58:41 Drew Jamie 19.

58:41 Adam I don't know what to do with it anymore.

58:43 Drew Jamie.

58:43 Yes?

58:44 Drew What's going on?

58:45 Nothing. Just kind of relaxing, I guess. How are you?

58:50 Drew We're good. What can we do for you tonight?

58:52 Well, I've been in a confusing situation lately, and my boyfriend was living with me for a little while, and he's an alcoholic, and he just recently moved down with his mom in San Diego to go to rehab, but it's been getting worse, and he comes out of that.

59:10 Drew What's been getting worse?

59:11 His alcohol problem.

59:13 Drew While in rehab it's getting worse?

59:15 Yeah, well, he's an outpatient. He kind of checked himself into a mental rehab, but they didn't think that he should probably be there because he's an alcoholic, even though he's having a lot of psychological problems too. And he moved in with his mom down in San Diego because he had gotten really drunk and stabbed himself in the side.

59:35 Drew Stabbed himself?

59:36 Yeah, it's a really long story.

59:40 Adam Why aren't you married to this guy? This guy sounds like a keeper.

59:44 Well, it's really hard to explain. I mean, we've been together for so long, and it hasn't been bad, and it's hard. He's just been slowly, slowly bringing himself down, and he went down there to go to rehab, and now he's becoming a causative alcoholic, drinking after he gets out.

1:00:02 Adam How do you know all this?

1:00:03 I'm sorry?

1:00:04 Adam How do you know all this?

1:00:06 Because I talk to him, and he kind of tells me, and I get mad at him.

1:00:11 Drew Why don't you call the treatment team and tell them what you know?

1:00:14 He tells them too, and they...

1:00:16 Drew No, he doesn't tell them.

1:00:17 No, I mean, like, I've talked to them before, and he's told them this stuff, but he's signed himself up for outpatient, and they won't continue to use him.

1:00:25 Drew No, they won't continue to treat him in outpatient if he's continuing to use. They won't.

1:00:28 He's in jail now. He grabbed him to school down there and beat up some cops, and he went to jail. After the weekend before, he had got stopped by military police on his way out here to visit me and beat up a bunch of military police.

1:00:41 Drew All right, so what's your question?

1:00:43 I'm just kind of wondering what I should do because he's been kind of, I want to be there for him and I still want to be with him, but I don't know.

1:00:52 Drew You all right, Jamie, stop. You have one and only one move. You can go to Al-Anon and get a sponsor and work there every day with a sponsor. That is it. You don't do that, you're going to contribute to his disease and you're going to contribute to your own misery. That is your one and only move.

1:01:06 It's like draining on me though too.

1:01:08 Adam Where do you live?

1:01:09 Caller Where do you live?

1:01:10 Noga Park.

1:01:12 Adam Uh-oh.

1:01:13 Hi.

1:01:13 Caller Yeah.

1:01:14 Is that bad?

1:01:15 Adam That's almost as bad as Chatsworth.

1:01:18 God, Chatsworth. Let's not talk about Chatsworth.

1:01:20 Adam White trash Mecca. Who's there? Your mom?

1:01:23 No, it's actually my girlfriend.

1:01:25 Adam Okay. You're living at home?

1:01:27 Yeah.

1:01:28 Adam Where's your dad?

1:01:29 My dad's on the computer in the living room.

1:01:33 Adam Is your mom there?

1:01:34 My mom lives in Palmdale.

1:01:36 Adam What happened to you? What screwed you up so much?

1:01:38 Drew Alcoholic dad.

1:01:40 Well, my first boyfriend, which was my last.

1:01:43 Drew No, not way before that.

1:01:44 Way before that? My stepdad was a very, very mean, mean man.

1:01:52 Drew Where's my bourbon? And an alcoholic.

1:01:55 And I had like dead mice in my lunch pail at school.

1:01:57 Drew Nice.

1:01:58 All kinds of nice little things that he's...

1:02:00 Drew Was he an alcoholic also?

1:02:02 No, actually he wasn't an alcoholic until my mom left him.

1:02:05 Drew Okay. But he's still an alcoholic just because he didn't...

1:02:07 No, he died.

1:02:09 Drew He's still and I was an alcoholic.

1:02:11 Adam No, he's dead, Drew. He died of cirrhosis, but he's dead.

1:02:14 And then his son did nice little things to me as well.

1:02:18 Drew Sexually abuse you?

1:02:19 Yeah.

1:02:20 Drew Okay. Well, so you have some understanding here of why you're choosing people that are just very, very disturbed to get attached to. Because that's all you've been is somebody attached to disturb, to disturb people.

1:02:30 But I don't understand why it's like that. I mean, my last boyfriend and me, we, I broke up with him because he was very abusive.

1:02:38 Drew Right. You're going to pick, you're going to only be attracted.

1:02:41 Adam Wait a minute. This is different now.

1:02:43 Drew Yeah. You're only going to be attracted to abusive people.

1:02:45 Adam Oh, baby.

1:02:46 He's like not like my ex-boyfriend. He's not like bad, like, physically or anything.

1:02:52 Adam This guy is beating up, he's beating up enlisted men and cops and getting drunk and driving into schools.

1:02:59 Drew There's different flavors of abuse. He'll get to the physical abuse eventually.

1:03:02 It's like really hard to explain that because he's not-

1:03:04 Drew All right. Now we're wasting our time. You have one move. No matter how involved the stories are, no matter what else you have to say, there's only one and only one thing for you to do and that's to go to Al and I and get a sponsor. That's it. If you want to get a therapist and also do some hard work, that's fine. But right now, if you want to have any impact on what's going on with this guy and in your relationship, you must do that. Period.

1:03:25 Adam Let me float this theory here, Drew. Wait a minute. It wasn't a theory. It was just a fart.

1:03:30 Drew Okay. You're done?

1:03:31 Adam I'm done. Now, here's what I wanted to say. What about this theory? Someone who we're just being to, Jamie. Someone like Jamie has profound problems of her own. I mean, abusive, alcoholic stepdad, sexually abused by stepbrother. God knows what kind of gal mom was. God knows what kind of pal dad was. She's got some serious, serious issues that are going to take a lot of focus and a lot of work, right?

1:04:01 Drew Right.

1:04:02 Adam But she gets hooked up with Johnny Rebel over here, and every ounce of her extra energy goes into looking after him, piecing him together, worried about him in his therapy.

1:04:16 Drew That's how she manages her pain, her apnea.

1:04:19 Adam Right, right, right. And what I'm saying is, if she got left alone without a project, she would start feeling something that was so powerful that she would have to deal with that, or it keeps her away from her work because she's working on him.

1:04:34 Drew That's right, absolutely. But she'd find some distraction. She'd get bored or something.

1:04:39 Adam Right, but I'm just wondering if, you know, we always talk about the history and about how things get hardwired into your brain and where that attraction is. But it seems like an element of it could be the fact that she doesn't have to do anything on herself because she's constantly focused on patching him together.

1:04:58 Drew Well, that's absolutely what it is. It's arousal. It's another form of using arousal to deal with unpleasant, dangerous, overwhelming feelings.

1:05:06 Adam I'm still not really saying that though.

1:05:09 Drew What are you saying?

1:05:11 Adam I'm saying you told her she has to do a lot of work. She doesn't want to do it. On herself.

1:05:16 Drew She's too painful.

1:05:17 Adam And each time you told her she had to do work on herself, she referred to this guy.

1:05:22 Drew Yes, that's exactly right.

1:05:22 Adam He's not a bad guy. I don't want to leave him. You know what I mean? So all the hard work that she has to do, all the painful work she has to do can immediately go into him because who's got time for her when this guy's in the pokey.

1:05:34 Drew Right. It's more painful to look at her. Too painful.

1:05:38 Adam Right.

1:05:38 Drew So she has to deflect it onto this guy. Megan 14.

1:05:43 Hey, what's up?

1:05:44 Drew Not much.

1:05:45 How you doing?

1:05:46 Drew Good. How you doing?

1:05:48 I'm doing pretty good.

1:05:49 Adam Drew's a little frustrated with the callers tonight.

1:05:52 Drew Yeah.

1:05:52 Adam He's disappointed. He's disappointed in their growth.

1:05:56 He took a long time. I was wondering when I was going to talk to you guys.

1:05:59 Drew Who took a long time?

1:06:00 That girl, just a few minutes ago.

1:06:02 Drew Well, you've actually been on hold shorter than any of our callers, so don't...

1:06:05 Really? I was trying to call her. Anyway, something gets my problem. For like the past two weeks, I've been having these really, really interesting dreams about male celebrities. They've been like middle-aged and...

1:06:20 Drew This is the comedy out of... How old is middle-aged?

1:06:23 Like, thirty-seven, and like thirty to like thirty-seven or so. And Adam's one of them.

1:06:33 Drew Adam was one of them.

1:06:33 Caller Middle-aged, Adam.

1:06:35 Drew Middle-aged.

1:06:36 Adam I don't care. As long as I'm pulling down those fourteen-year-olds, who cares?

1:06:41 Like, I'm not like attracted to any of the guys I've had the dreams about, but they've mostly been like really funny people.

1:06:48 Drew Like who else?

1:06:49 Like, Adam Sandler, Andy Dirk, Carson Daly.

1:06:55 Adam Artie Johnson.

1:06:56 Really weird people that I never thought they were attracted to at all.

1:06:59 Drew Yeah, I mean, it's just been disgusting, in fact, that somebody like Adam would appear in the dream.

1:07:03 Caller How awful.

1:07:04 Drew What the? Traumatizing. What are you?

1:07:06 Adam 36 years young. What was I doing in the dream?

1:07:14 We were having a little fun.

1:07:16 Adam Like what? We're having sex?

1:07:21 Going around, basically, like I enjoyed it, but like my boyfriend's really upset about it.

1:07:28 Drew Oh, Adam's gonna come kick your ass.

1:07:30 He can't do it like anyone else can in my dream.

1:07:33 Drew What's that?

1:07:34 He can't do like as much, like when he gives me like my pleasure, it's not as much as how it is in my dream, so I look forward to my dreams.

1:07:42 Adam Well, even the fantasy Adam is better than most 15 year old guys.

1:07:48 Drew That's probably true.

1:07:49 Adam Except for this guy is 28, right? How old is your boyfriend? 15. Are you guys having sex?

1:07:58 No.

1:07:59 Drew Megan is fine.

1:08:00 Adam What are you doing?

1:08:01 We're just making out.

1:08:03 Adam Okay.

1:08:03 Drew Megan is fine. You're absolutely fine. You're fine.

1:08:06 Adam Have your little fantasies about your superstar male idols.

1:08:11 Drew Here's the thing about fantasies, enjoy them. You know what I'm saying? Don't feel you have to act them out or you have to figure them out. They're fine. Relax.

1:08:20 Can I just say something? Sure. You guys are really cool. Me and my friend John listen to you every single night.

1:08:25 Drew I love that Orlando. You've been to Orlando Adam. Yeah, you were in a parade at Disney World, weren't you?

1:08:31 Adam Yeah, everyone is yelling, who are you?

1:08:33 Like our school is like 10 minutes away from Disney.

1:08:37 Drew Fun.

1:08:37 Adam Yeah, I did that TV pilot, Ordinary Extraordinary.

1:08:44 Drew Genius name. Genius.

1:08:46 Adam Me and John Ritter. Yeah, they sold the pilot and they offered me just SAG minimum scale like the same. You know the money you get when you do PI politically incorrect or any of those shows, Drew? That's what they offered me per show.

1:09:04 Drew Well, you're a big star.

1:09:05 Adam How dare they? How dare they? I made quite an impact on them. Drew, I'm sitting in one of these chairs now where no matter how many times you scooch up five minutes later, you're lying down on it and you're under pants or wedged up your ass. You know those chairs?

1:09:22 Drew Yes.

1:09:23 Adam Those chairs, you scooch back on, you sit on them and then a few moments later you find yourself in your knees or higher than your head.

1:09:30 Drew Strangely, airplane seats are that way.

1:09:34 Adam I don't find that on the airplane seats, but like I said, I'm so busy complaining about the snacks.

1:09:38 Drew You're so loaded you don't feel anything. When your nuts are up in your chest, you don't feel it.

1:09:45 Adam Yeah, nuts, the operative word. We'll be right back.

1:09:48 Drew We will be.

1:09:49 Adam Oh, man. Okay, Drew. I really need to talk to you off the air about first class and snacks, Drew. I mean, when can we do that?

1:09:58 Drew I'm flying tomorrow. You can call me on my car on the way home.

1:10:00 Adam I'll call you on the way home to really get in to this. I don't want to bore the listeners, but as you know, I have another 15 to 20 minutes on this subject.

1:10:08 Drew If I dial your number, will I get you in Vegas?

1:10:10 Adam Yeah, I think you will. All right. We'll take a little break. We'll be right back.

1:10:15 Loveline, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:10:18 Caller I'm back in a minute.

1:10:48 Adam Hey, y'all. Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Drew, porn legend Ron Jeremy in Tomorrow Night. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:11:00 Drew Drew? You.

1:11:01 Adam Got any calls you like?

1:11:03 Drew I do. It's Jouette25.

1:11:05 Hello.

1:11:05 Drew Hi.

1:11:06 Hi.

1:11:07 Drew Jouette. Jouette. Al Jouette.

1:11:10 Adam Al Jouette.

1:11:13 Caller Jouette.

1:11:15 Adam How's that song go, Drew? You speak French. Do that song for us.

1:11:19 I don't know French at all.

1:11:20 Adam Drew does. Drew does. Do it.

1:11:22 Drew I'm not sure I even know the words to that song.

1:11:26 Adam What's that mean, Drew? What's that mean?

1:11:29 Drew I remember when I read it once, it didn't make sense. It was sort of like a nonsensical kind of thing.

1:11:36 Caller All right.

1:11:37 Adam What's up there, Jouette?

1:11:38 Okay. What had happened was last Monday night I had a miscarriage.

1:11:46 Drew A planned pregnancy?

1:11:48 Unplanned?

1:11:48 Drew A planned pregnancy? You knew you were pregnant?

1:11:50 No, I wasn't planned.

1:11:51 Drew Did you know you were pregnant?

1:11:52 Yes, I did. I had found out about a day before Halloween. And I had been to the ER room for about, like, Thanksgiving night and Saturday night, cramping and bleeding.

1:12:07 Drew This was leading up to the abortion?

1:12:09 Yeah, threatened abortion is what they had said. And they did ultrasound and they did blood work and the HCG was going up day by day, but I came back out of town Sunday night and I went back to work and the cramping and the bleeding just got worse. So, when I went back to the ER over here in Santa Clara, they had told me that the baby wasn't going to do, it wasn't going to make it. And he had diagnosed it being a missed abortion.

1:12:45 Drew Well, a missed abortion means it's already over. Really? Yeah, incomplete.

1:12:49 What had happened? I was seven weeks and five days.

1:12:52 Drew That's, you know, first trimester abortions are very, very common.

1:12:56 Adam Are you trying to get...

1:12:56 Drew Most first trimesters end in some sort of miscarriage. And miscarriage is, abortion and miscarriage are the same term. And there's threatened abortion, meaning it's gonna happen, might happen, incomplete abortion, meaning it's mostly happened and they need to go and scrape the rest out. And missed abortion, which is what they missed, I guess.

1:13:11 Adam But Drew, don't most people look at abortion as something that it's a procedure that's done in a miscarriage, as something that happens spontaneously?

1:13:20 Drew Yeah, in terms of the technical terms, it's called spontaneous abortion versus therapeutic abortion.

1:13:28 Adam How old are you? Yeah. So you were trying to get pregnant?

1:13:32 Drew No, she said no.

1:13:33 No, this happened. It just happened.

1:13:36 Adam Oh, okay.

1:13:37 I knew when it happened. It was with my daughter's father.

1:13:42 Oh, yeah.

1:13:44 Adam So you got a kid?

1:13:46 She's two years old.

1:13:48 Adam And are you married to this guy still?

1:13:51 No, but, you know, I'm dedicated to him, so.

1:13:57 Adam You guys are a couple?

1:13:59 Yeah.

1:13:59 Drew Why aren't you married?

1:14:02 I guess we haven't gotten there. We talk about it a lot, though.

1:14:05 You talk about it a lot.

1:14:07 Drew Why aren't you married?

1:14:09 I don't know. I guess.

1:14:10 Drew Jouette.

1:14:11 Caller What's that?

1:14:12 Drew Go ahead and tell me that your boyfriend doesn't want to get married. You want to get married.

1:14:18 I don't know. I think he does, but I'm kind of like, you know, I guess I'm just not ready yet.

1:14:24 Drew Why? What's the matter?

1:14:25 I don't know.

1:14:26 Drew It's okay to have children and have a long-term relationship, but not have a family for them?

1:14:31 Yeah.

1:14:32 Drew Why?

1:14:32 I know. It sounds kind of weird, huh?

1:14:34 Drew No, it just doesn't sound good for your kids.

1:14:37 That's true. Yeah.

1:14:39 Drew I wonder what's up with you. Yeah, I know. What kind of family you came from. But I usually push, because most women go, oh, marriage is just a piece of paper and we love each other. That's BS. You want to get married. It's a good thing to get married for your kids, have a commitment that's formal.

1:14:51 Yeah.

1:14:52 Drew It's fine to want to get married, but you don't want to get married.

1:14:56 If I really, really, really think it's going to work.

1:15:00 Drew So your parents had a mess, huh?

1:15:02 Yeah. I just don't want to go through the same thing.

1:15:06 Adam How's your relationship with this guy?

1:15:09 With him?

1:15:12 He's very supportive.

1:15:14 He was there through the whole thing.

1:15:16 Drew No. How is your romantic relationship with him?

1:15:19 Adam You're not in love with this guy, are you?

1:15:23 I am. I just had a hard time getting him.

1:15:27 Drew She's not open to love with anybody.

1:15:28 No.

1:15:30 Adam I understand that.

1:15:32 I have a very trusting issue to problem. Can you stop?

1:15:38 Drew Good. Good.

1:15:39 Adam Good. Stop having...

1:15:41 I totally need it.

1:15:42 Drew Stop having kids. Start using some contraception, okay?

1:15:45 Yes. Exactly.

1:15:46 Drew Keep that emergency contraceptive around. So if you ever have an accident like that again, you can take those pills, prevent the egg from reaching the sperm, not causing an abortion, just prevent the pregnancy from being established, not causing problems with the implantation because it doesn't cause implantation problems, any more likely than your usual birth control pills, or then Vioxx, or then Celebrex, other medication that people use chronically and regularly.

1:16:11 Adam Listen, all you screw balls out there, you got some issues, you got some problems, you're not sure if you want to get married, you're in counseling, you don't know where you're at, you're young, that's great, that's fine. Don't have the goddamn kids though. Well, how can you be so casual about that? I mean, about everything else, you plot and you plan, like a field marshal. You know, I mean, when you bring up the topic of marriage to Jewette, she's very deliberate. She's like, I'm not ready, I'm in counseling, I have some difficulties. Meanwhile, if we crank out a few kids while I'm getting my ass together, so be it.

1:16:52 Drew And by the way, those are the kids that are going to experience life the one that you experienced. When you're trying to protect them from, you're bringing them right into that world.

1:17:01 Adam Yeah. You got issues? Fine. Work them out, then have the kids. Don't start a brood while you're getting your ass together. Jeremy. What could be more selfish?

1:17:10 Drew What's up, Jeremy?

1:17:12 Caller Nothing.

1:17:13 Drew You have a question?

1:17:14 Caller Yeah. My friend and I at school, we always joke around about STDs and stuff. And this one day, he had a sore throat and he was like, oh God, it feels like I have gonorrhea of the throat. And I was just wondering, is like that possible?

1:17:29 Drew Absolutely. Chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, they can all occur in the mouth and throat. That's the fact.

1:17:36 Caller I thought he was just joking around.

1:17:37 Drew No joking. That's why you're supposed to use a condom when you have oral sex. Brian, 17.

1:17:40 Adam Well, he probably was joking around.

1:17:43 Drew He didn't know that that actually occurs. Brian, 17.

1:17:45 Caller Hi. Um, well, how's it going? I'm sorry. My friend committed suicide on Monday, and he left a note behind that it had a lot of problems in it, and I didn't really think that he was all that much in trouble. But, I mean, I don't know. But one of the things in the note was about how all of his friends were making him feel really dumb, or that his grades weren't as good as ours, and stuff. And he, like, I think that, I don't know, I feel really bad. But I mean...

1:18:24 Adam Well, let me ask a couple questions. How did you get access to the note?

1:18:30 Caller Well, because I'm friends with his sister, and her parent, like their family, you know, they all were there when they found him, and they called the police, and the police let them read the note.

1:18:45 Adam And, and what, how did he kill himself?

1:18:48 Caller He slit his wrist in the bathtub.

1:18:56 Adam And, and they called the cops, and the cops came, and then the cops found the note before they did?

1:19:02 Caller No, well, the note was in his bedroom, but he was in the bathroom, and they just freaked out. I mean, it was, from what I hear from his sister, it was pretty bad.

1:19:13 Adam Yeah, I could imagine. Yeah. And, and so in the note, they tell you talked about people making fun of him, and friends, and classmates.

1:19:22 Caller No, he was, he was a popular, you know, he was like, he was in with like all of us, and he's a really nice guy, and he played football. But I mean, this is, you know, like the end of our junior year, and he was worried about going to college, and his grades were, he took a way too hard schedule, I told him, this semester.

1:19:41 Drew When was the end of your junior year?

1:19:44 Caller This is the end of our junior year, like it's now December, we will be done with our junior year, well we would have, oh, in June.

1:19:52 Drew In June, yeah.

1:19:53 Caller But I mean, he, his midterm grades were sick, they were, I mean, they were really bad, I was trying to help, but he was like...

1:20:01 Drew Well, but the grades falling is just a sign of depression. That's the most surefire sign that somebody's getting depressed, that their grades suddenly get bad. So that's just a sign that he was already in trouble. Did he have a failed relationship or something?

1:20:13 Caller No, I think he, I seriously, like, he was better at English and writing and, you know, poetry and stuff, and he took, he took, like, advanced...

1:20:23 Drew Was he, was he smoking pot or doing drugs?

1:20:25 Caller Calc or anything. No, no, no, he was a straight edge, he was a good guy.

1:20:29 Adam Are you, do you go to a private school?

1:20:31 Caller No, we, we go to, well, I don't want to say the name of the school, but I mean, we go to a high school.

1:20:37 Adam Oh, jeez, what's up with you guys that you care about your grades so much? I swear to Christ, I was just thinking about Brian here, I thought, if, if all of my friends who got bad grades killed themselves, I wouldn't have any friends. I've just gone through life alone. You know, what's funny about our friends is we made fun of the guys who got good grades.

1:20:58 Drew Who cared about the grades, huh?

1:21:00 Caller Yeah, well, Jesus Christ.

1:21:02 Adam The story, but let's talk about how this makes him feel because we just see he's not hanging together for me. Are you feeling you feeling responsible?

1:21:10 Caller The dilemma is that like I'm still friends with his sister and she's, you know, she's a good friend of mine. And it's like her parents are reacting really funny to any of my friends and, you know, us like, I mean, it's just it's just been three days, you know, to be to be said. But I mean, it's like I went over there once and they just like they they couldn't even be in the same room with me. Like, I mean, I guess that in the note, you know, he blamed his friends pretty hard. And I mean, it's their fault because like, you know, they pressured him a lot. But I mean, with all of us, like not helping as much as we should have. And it was just I don't know. I feel really bad.

1:21:55 Adam Well, OK, here's the deal. The guy was depressed. Unfortunately, this happens, you know, far too often. People write a bunch of stuff, sort of immediate stuff that's going on.

1:22:07 Drew And they also, yeah, there's a certain amount of fantasy that they're going to use their suicide as a way of getting back at people and showing people. And they're not thinking rationally and normally about the reality of the consequence of their behavior. Furthermore, I'd guarantee you a lot more going on here. It's not the fact that friends or me and him had precipitated a suicide. It's not the way it works.

1:22:26 Adam By the way, these sound like pretty nice friends.

1:22:29 Drew Yeah, yeah. It's not the way it works.

1:22:30 Adam I mean, as far as 17-year-old guys, this does not come close to abuse.

1:22:37 Drew No.

1:22:38 Adam You know what I mean?

1:22:39 Drew Yeah. I mean, just give them a couple of examples of what you guys did to each other, just peeing on each other and crapping each other.

1:22:44 Adam Held each other down and beat the crap out of each other. Constantly.

1:22:51 Drew He shouldn't blame himself. The only thing that one can learn from situations like this is to pay attention and to get people to care, because you cannot stop these things from happening, nor are you responsible for them.

1:23:03 Adam Jesus. Could you ever be right as a parent, Drew?

1:23:06 Drew No. You just always reduced to parent, which is not a great place to be.

1:23:11 Adam No. I mean, as a parent, could you ever be right again?

1:23:15 Drew Oh, after that?

1:23:16 Adam Kids have killed themselves. I mean, you got a bunch, but I mean, if you only had one, especially.

1:23:21 Drew No, no matter what, it would be awful.

1:23:23 Adam I'm just kidding, Drew. I mean, would you ever be right?

1:23:25 Drew No.

1:23:26 Adam I mean, would you just take it personally, right?

1:23:31 Drew Yeah. I mean, the feelings would just be overwhelming. You wouldn't even know what to feel. But parents that are narcissistic would then wouldn't feel these things, they would blame other people. They would do anything not to actually feel responsible, and they would get furious and rageful at everyone else and blame them.

1:23:47 Adam I'll tell you, if I was Brian, if I was Brian, I would stay out of that household for a couple of months, you know?

1:23:54 Drew Well, but be close to the sister, as his friend, he can support her, but maybe at the school, as opposed to going around there, particularly treating you badly. And those are the kinds of parents that would have a kid that couldn't go anywhere with his feelings.

1:24:07 Adam Right.

1:24:07 Drew Alright, we've got another break.

1:24:09 Adam Alright. Alright, we'll do that. Who are we going to talk to when we come back, Drew?

1:24:14 Drew Oh, let's see. Broke up with girlfriend because she wouldn't have sex until marriage. She's 17.

1:24:21 Adam Alrighty, after this.

1:24:23 Caller Hello, this is your radio. Love Line will be right back.

1:25:03 Adam Hey, y'all, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Drew. Porn star extraordinaire, Ron Jeremy, in the studio tomorrow night.

1:25:11 Drew I didn't like how you said that. Hey, everybody. I'm Adam. That's Drew. Porn star extraordinaire. Ron Jeremy will be in here tomorrow night.

1:25:18 Adam Yeah, Drew, porn star extraordinaire. Ron is like the world's only Jewish porn star.

1:25:24 Drew He is not Jewish.

1:25:26 Adam Yeah, he is. You see all the hair on that guy's back? Of course, he's Jewish.

1:25:30 Drew Wow.

1:25:31 Adam He's got the worst physique in porn.

1:25:34 Drew Yeah, that's for sure.

1:25:36 Adam Imagine his parents.

1:25:38 Drew They must be so proud.

1:25:43 Adam I wonder if he had a bar mitzvah.

1:25:45 Drew Ask. He will be here tomorrow.

1:25:47 Adam Probably like a bang the bejesus out of the rabbi. All right. Let's go here, Drew.

1:25:52 Drew Saul is 17. No.

1:25:54 Caller No.

1:25:55 Drew You're not 17?

1:25:57 Caller Yeah, I am 17.

1:25:58 Drew All right. What's going on?

1:26:00 Caller I had a conversation.

1:26:01 Caller I talked to my girlfriend about it two nights ago. The subject of sex came up. I don't know where she tells me that she wants to have sex until she gets married. I told her, you know, when did you come with, you know, when did you decide to do that? She never told me this when we started dating. So I just figured she wouldn't have that, you know, that thing in her mind or whatever.

1:26:28 Drew What's the question, Saul?

1:26:30 Caller Well, my question is that, that I want to know if that's the right thing.

1:26:35 Drew It's right for her.

1:26:36 Caller Right for her to do that to me.

1:26:38 Adam I mean.

1:26:39 Drew She's not doing anything to you. That's her. That's just what's important to her.

1:26:42 Adam Well, she's doing something to poor Saul's penis.

1:26:44 Drew It affects Saul, but it's about, she's not doing it to do anything to you. She's doing it because that's her values. That's what's important to her. And if you either support that or you don't, if you don't, she's not willing to compromise, then that makes a relationship end.

1:26:56 Caller I support her in everything, but just that, she wants to know what she wants to know. She tells me, do you want to continue? You want to wait for me?

1:27:04 Drew That's what I'm asking too. Do you?

1:27:07 Caller I mean, I do. I do want to continue, but I can't wait until, of course, I'm a guy. I have my needs and everything.

1:27:14 Drew That means you don't want to wait, that you don't want to continue.

1:27:17 Adam How old is she?

1:27:18 Caller She's 15.

1:27:20 Drew Saul, for Christ's sake, I'm hanging up on Saul. I can't do it. I want my righteous and dignacious to surface. I can't stand it.

1:27:28 Adam Why?

1:27:29 Drew Because he's 17, he wants to bang a 15-year-old, just because she at 15 has a fantasy that she'll manage to wait till marriage. He wants to just- He's always worried about what she's doing to him, and all he's concerned about is how he can do something he wants to do to her.

1:27:46 Adam Well, he's 17. He's got needs. Listen, here's what's going to end up happening. Her and Saul are going to break up over this. Four months later, she'll be banging one of Saul's friends.

1:27:58 Drew This is Jimmy.

1:27:59 Adam That's my prediction.

1:28:00 Drew Jimmy 14.

1:28:01 Hello.

1:28:01 Drew Hey, Jimmy, what's up?

1:28:02 Oh, yeah. You know how you're talking about alouette, that phone?

1:28:06 Yeah.

1:28:07 Well, it actually means in French that it's a chef preparing a bird to eat.

1:28:26 Drew So they're all dabbing. You'll all see them. Okay.

1:28:29 Adam That's the rest of it.

1:28:30 Drew No, different song. Andrea, 19.

1:28:32 Caller Hello.

1:28:32 Drew Hi.

1:28:33 Caller Hi.

1:28:33 Adam Fair. Hey, tomorrow we get to the bottom of Ferris Yaka. What's Ferris Yaka mean?

1:28:40 Drew Brother John, brother, are you sleeping? Are you sleeping, brother John, brother John? No.

1:28:44 Adam Oh, really?

1:28:44 Drew Yeah.

1:28:44 Caller Hello. All right. Hi.

1:28:48 Drew It's the other way around, it's dorme, it's brother John, brother John, are you sleeping? And in English it's are you sleeping? Are you sleeping, brother John?

1:28:55 Adam All right.

1:28:55 Drew Fascinating stuff.

1:28:56 Caller Very important.

1:28:57 Adam I always like it when we do this in the college. Hello? What are these jackals talking about? Hello?

1:29:05 Drew Andrea 19.

1:29:06 Hey. I have a problem with my boyfriend right now. We've been together for almost four years and things are good to a certain extent. We have a lot of fun together and everything like that. We're like best friends and everything. But everybody is telling me to break up with him.

1:29:21 Drew Hey, Andrea, how far up north in Michigan are you?

1:29:23 I'm in Howell right now. I'm at work.

1:29:25 Drew How far up north in Michigan is that? Way up there?

1:29:29 No, not way up there. I mean, probably.

1:29:32 Drew I'm going to Marquette tomorrow.

1:29:33 Oh, really?

1:29:34 Drew Is it going to be cold?

1:29:36 It's really not that bad. I'm only outside in a sweatshirt right now.

1:29:39 Drew Good.

1:29:39 So it's not that bad.

1:29:41 Adam All right. But those people sleep outside when it's 25 degrees.

1:29:45 Drew Swim in ice ponds.

1:29:47 That's not me.

1:29:49 Drew So your boyfriend, yeah, what's this?

1:29:51 Adam Everyone wants you to break up?

1:29:53 No, everyone, like all my friends and, you know, coworkers are telling me to break up with him.

1:29:57 Adam Yeah, that's yes.

1:29:59 Drew Everyone wants you to break up? No, no. All my friends and coworkers want me to break up.

1:30:03 Caller Okay, well, let's see.

1:30:04 I'm just not ready for a change in my life. And we've been together for so long that I just...

1:30:08 Drew Yeah, you've invested four years. You might as well get another four years into it, too.

1:30:12 Adam Well, wait a minute. You're 19. You've been together since you were 15?

1:30:15 Drew Yeah. It's got to be hard to leave someone you've known since you were 15.

1:30:18 Adam Yeah, but we all know you should.

1:30:20 Drew You should.

1:30:20 Adam Why are your friends and boy, there's nothing more insulting than everyone you know wanting you to break up with someone you're with. Why do they want that?

1:30:29 Because they see that I'm unhappy and that I'm 19 and I shouldn't be settled down like this with someone.

1:30:35 Adam Well, they must not like him.

1:30:37 Drew They must not like him and they must think you can...

1:30:38 They don't know him, actually.

1:30:40 Drew Yeah, they still don't like him.

1:30:41 Adam What do they know of him?

1:30:44 Well, you know, most girls when they're having a problem, they bitch about their boyfriends. They don't come to work and say, Oh, he's so great and blah, blah, blah. You know, when they're pissed off, that's when they vent, you know.

1:30:54 Adam Well, what's he doing? What's he doing to you?

1:30:56 Okay, well, I work full-time, he works full-time, okay? I'm 19 years old. I come home and I cook and I clean and I take care of the dishes. I do the laundry. I go grocery shopping. He comes home and sits on his ass. Now, I understand that...

1:31:10 Drew That's a pretty good arrangement.

1:31:11 Huh?

1:31:12 Drew Nothing?

1:31:13 Yeah.

1:31:13 Adam I'd go for a little of that.

1:31:15 Well, the thing is, I'm a really good girlfriend. I'm there for him. I listen to him. I mean, I'm in the bedroom. Everything is cool. I mean, he gets what he wants. I mean, so I just want him to treat me with a little bit more respect.

1:31:29 Caller Well, tell him.

1:31:30 Drew Does he smoke a lot of pot?

1:31:32 Yeah.

1:31:33 Drew Here's what you're describing a classic situation in co-dependence, Andrea, is where you take care of him and all your, you know, he's so wonderful and you do everything to meet his needs. And goddamn it, I'm entitled to more. And you know what? You're not entitled to, yes, you're not. You're entitled to your life. You're entitled to having some respect of your feelings. And that's it. You're not supposed to take care of him. And you're not entitled to anything for having taken care of him.

1:31:57 Caller Well, I don't try to take care of him.

1:31:58 Drew Yeah, but you do. And he's a drug addict. He's a marijuana addict and he needs to deal with that. And you need to not enable that anymore.

1:32:04 Adam Really? Andra's 19 and sounds like she's been in a bad marriage since she was, you know, she sounds like she's 45 and in a bad marriage. I work all day. I come home. I do the dishes. He sits on his duff.

1:32:17 Drew But that's codependency. That's what that is. She's enabling all those behaviors. He smokes pot and he's paralyzed by all the pot.

1:32:23 Adam All right. Dump him. Go to agree with your friends.

1:32:26 Drew Or make him go to MA, make him stop the pot and see if that doesn't change him. We're done.

1:32:31 Adam That's it? All right. We'll be right back.

1:32:35 Caller All right, guys.

1:32:36 Caller Bottom line, here's the deal. Looking to hook up.

1:32:38 Caller Sick of wasting time with the wrong person.

1:32:40 Caller One call is all you need to make. Call the Dateline.

1:32:43 Drew 877-889-DATE.

1:32:49 Caller Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:32:50 Caller 1-800-121-6-1.

1:33:19 Adam Well, that about does it for another fabulous Loveline show.

1:33:23 Drew Fabulous.

1:33:24 Adam I want to thank all the folks involved for putting it on, and the folks over here in Las Vegas who made it possible for me to be with you tonight.

1:33:33 Drew And you're just going to run now to Olympic Gardens. So GD, oh, nice.

1:33:38 Adam I just let a huge one go.

1:33:40 Drew I know, we heard it. I mean, that was what we heard with you sitting on it, right? You didn't put the mic down there.

1:33:47 Adam No, no. The morning show is going to be smelling it when they come in the studio at 5.30.

1:33:51 Drew Good times.

1:33:52 Adam All right. I'm going to run over to the Olympic Gardens and get myself a nice lamp dance. Drew, you run home and have your wife kick your nuts around like a hacky sack.

1:34:03 Drew Or a speed bag.

1:34:05 Adam Yeah, yeah. And until next time, this Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew's.

1:34:10 Drew Hey, call me, call me, call me.

1:34:11 Adam I'll call you on your cell phone there, Drew. Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. I need a hair from the whore that bit me.

1:34:20 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, November 28, 2001