Episode 1000754886804

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:25 Voiceover I'm Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew. Or is it the picture of Dorian Gray? Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Dr. Bruce is in the house, although he's not in the studio.

1:45 Drew He's doing laser treatments to everybody.

1:48 I've had anal sex and I've passed out a couple of times.

1:50 Drew Oh, really?

1:52 Adam Yes, he reveals many intimate details of his personal life when he fills in for Dr. Drew whenever Dr. Drew is changing. Excuse me, chasing change across the countries he's known to do. All right, so Drew just had a little laser shot around the eye area.

2:09 Drew No, it's the face.

2:10 Adam Full face, full face. And what does this laser do?

2:14 Drew It burns your face.

2:16 Adam Yeah.

2:16 Drew No, it theoretically gets into the subcutaneous tissue and restructures your collagen.

2:20 Adam And how does it work?

2:23 Drew This is Bruce's thing. Want to get Bruce in here and ask him?

2:24 Adam No. No. You know why? Because our listeners are too young.

2:29 Drew You have to have laser on your faggity self, as you say.

2:32 Adam Wow. Whoa, Drew.

2:35 Drew Wow.

2:36 Adam Pretty tough allegations there.

2:37 Drew Skin enhancement, is that the name of the organization?

2:39 Adam Yeah.

2:39 Drew Bruce, if people are interested in laser or microdermabrasion, it's 888-340-7790. 888-340-7790. He's doing everyone. I did Anne.

2:51 Adam Yeah.

2:51 Drew Angela. Tammy.

2:53 Adam Yeah. Tammy from the mother station here at K-Rock, by the way. I always have to explain the show when Drew does more than three syllables.

3:03 Drew It's interesting. The thing is, it's like burns. It gives like a sunburn.

3:08 Adam Then when will we know if it had any positive effects?

3:12 Drew Bruce, when do we know if it's had any benefit?

3:15 Adam Didn't bother asking Bruce that.

3:16 Drew Now he said you have to repeat it in two weeks and again every month for four. I'm already out. Yes, Bruce. Go ahead, Bruce.

3:23 After a couple of treatments, you can generally tell. So at the end of the first month, depending on the level of wrinkling, the depth of the wrinkles, it's great for fine wrinkles and shrinking pore size. What are you laughing at? I had anal sex and I passed out a couple of times.

3:37 Adam All right, Bruce. The mic's still hot.

3:39 Drew Why are you laughing at Bruce?

3:40 Adam I just love Dr. Span. OK, shall we hop on the phones?

3:44 Drew Let's go.

3:45 Adam Help the kids. Chris?

3:47 Yes, sir.

3:47 Adam You're 19.

3:49 Caller Yes, I am.

3:49 Adam What's up?

3:51 Not much.

3:52 Caller I was just kind of chilling out, so I get ready to wind it down for the night.

3:55 I'm on the East Coast side right now. Just calling to do a little philosophical discussion so I can see what y'all think about chivalry being so underappreciated or, for that matter, overrated amongst ladies.

4:08 Adam OK, well, his line is bad, so I'll put him on hold and he can listen in. Chivalry, Drew?

4:14 Caller Is it still alive?

4:15 Drew Yeah, of course it is. And any guy that calls in with a question about chivalry, underneath that is, why do women crap on nice guys? That's what motivates his call.

4:24 Adam Here's the thing about chivalry. Women do want it, but they want it from the guys who don't want to give it up, not the guy who hands it out for free.

4:34 Drew That's right. It's like they want a wild animal that they want sort of behaving properly.

4:39 Adam The guy they want them to send the flowers is the guy who doesn't send the flowers. The guy that went to open the car door and pull out the chair at the restaurant is the guy who doesn't do that. If you start that on date number one and carry that into the first three months of the relationship, it'll be forgotten about. You'll just be that guy. There'll be no training. And what women want to do is not necessary. It's not the action that they want. It's breaking the man of his spirit, therefore getting the action that he doesn't want to give. It's not so much that they want it. It's that he doesn't want to do it and does it anyway.

5:15 Drew But slavery is quite well accepted. Women appreciate that.

5:18 Adam Yeah, it couldn't hurt.

5:19 Drew Just for the nice guys, it's not going to help you.

5:21 Adam But don't dole it out in big heats. Use it sparingly.

5:26 Drew Be consistent. I'll be real consistent. That's what I've noticed. Consistent.

5:30 Adam But not over the top.

5:31 Drew Not over the top.

5:32 Adam It's like cologne.

5:33 Drew Yeah.

5:34 Adam Here's what it is. Cologne smells good, right? Okay. So should you bathe in it? No, too much. Just a little spritz. I like to put a little dab on my finger and put it right behind each ear, right on the neck there, Drew. You're gay.

5:47 Caller Thank you.

5:48 Adam Ben.

5:49 Caller Hello.

5:49 Adam You're 18.

5:51 Caller Oh, yeah.

5:52 Adam What's up?

5:53 Caller This is Loveline.

5:54 Adam That's right, Stoner.

5:57 Caller Could I ask you another question?

6:01 Drew Go ahead, Ben.

6:03 Caller Go ahead.

6:03 Caller I'll ask you.

6:04 Drew No, we're here, Ben. Go ahead. Go.

6:07 Adam All right. Hang on, Ben. Blow out that big bong load you just sucked in and hang on for a second.

6:12 Drew For about 100 minutes.

6:13 Adam Get your wits about you. Danny?

6:16 Caller Yeah.

6:16 Adam You're 15?

6:18 Caller Yeah.

6:18 Adam What's up?

6:20 Caller Nothing.

6:20 Caller I just want to know about my penis.

6:22 Caller It's like uncircumcised.

6:24 Drew Yeah.

6:25 Caller And it stinks.

6:26 Caller Yeah.

6:27 Drew Nice.

6:28 Caller And I don't know what to do.

6:29 Drew Do you have any sort of debris in there? Is it tough to keep it clean?

6:33 Caller No, not really.

6:34 Drew No. Any irritation? Do you let it get real dry before you fold the skin back up?

6:41 Uh-uh.

6:42 Drew The bacteria love wet environments, sort of fungus, okay? And the smell comes from bacteria, usually. So you got to let that area get really dry. I mean, literally, I take a hair dryer.

6:52 Adam Or move to Arizona.

6:53 Drew Move to Arizona.

6:54 Adam That's what my grandfather did.

6:55 Drew Yeah. But you take a handheld hair dryer and just dry it off with the skin pulled back, and then that's it. It should heal up and keep it real clean regularly, all right?

7:05 Caller I wash it all the time.

7:06 Drew Keep it dry.

7:07 Adam You got to dry it off real good. Hit it with the hair dryer. And if your mom catches you, tell her you're styling your pubes, all right? Okay?

7:15 Drew She'll be proud then, instead of shocked.

7:17 Adam Yeah. All right. All right. You ever part your pubes, Drew?

7:21 Drew No. No. Can't say no.

7:23 Adam Crystal?

7:24 Yes.

7:24 Adam Do you have pubic hair, Drew? Because you don't seem to have hair anywhere else on your body.

7:28 Drew No, I got it.

7:29 Adam Crystal?

7:30 Yes.

7:30 Adam You're 20. What's up?

7:32 Caller Yes. Well, I've been dating this guy for two years, and we live together, and recently, like the past three months, he has really started to get on my nerves, and it's turned to a point where I don't even love him anymore.

7:45 Caller Yes.

7:46 Caller I don't really know what to do.

7:47 Drew Break up.

7:48 Caller Well, I know, but I don't know how because-

7:50 Caller Yes.

7:51 Drew Is this your first love? This is the first relationship really like this?

7:54 Caller Yes.

7:55 Adam Two years you've been going out.

7:57 Drew When did you really think it was over?

7:59 Caller Well, when I met this other guy.

8:00 Drew How long ago was that?

8:03 Caller Well, a month ago, but the two months before that, nobody really, I mean, he's just a hypochondriac and I mean, I didn't notice this until about three months ago.

8:11 Drew He's already got in your nerves.

8:12 Adam All right. And what are you doing with this new guy?

8:15 Caller Well, not, well, no sex or anything like that, but-

8:19 Adam But you know he likes you.

8:21 Caller You know-

8:22 Adam Where did you meet him?

8:23 Caller The new guy? Yeah. I've known him for five years.

8:27 Adam I see. Injured reserve.

8:29 Drew Yeah, injured reserve. The bullpen.

8:31 Adam You know what-

8:32 Drew He's not his best friend.

8:33 Adam This is messy. No, no, no. You know what's bizarre about this? Is the guy, Crystal, what's your boyfriend's name? Josh. Josh. Totally oblivious. He's been together for two years. He's on cruise control. He's on autopilot. You guys have been living together. He thinks everything is cool. He would tell his buddies right now, yeah, sure, we argue about who does the dishes every once in a while, but everything's great. Probably going to get married in another year and a half. Then you drop the bomb on him, tell him you're not into it, you want to break up. He starts spazzing out, so you soften it a little. Look, I just need a little time to clear my head.

9:10 Caller Exactly. How did you know that?

9:12 Adam Because I know what you do. I know what you chicks do. Thank you. I just want to clear my head. I just want to get my thoughts together.

9:17 Drew I love you, but I'm not, well, I love you, but.

9:20 Adam You're right. But I'm not in love with you, but I love you.

9:24 Drew I love you, but I'm sorry.

9:25 Caller If he'd go back to the way he was.

9:27 Drew No, stop it. Just stop it. You're just seeing who he is now. You're just waking up out of your stupor.

9:32 Adam Here's what happens. Now, he goes, all right, all right, whatever. Get your head together. I'm going to move in with my folks for a couple of weeks. Then it's like four days later, he hears from one of his buddies, yeah, she's dating Stu. In this guy's, he's mesmerized, he's baffled. He's like, we just broke up. She started dating a new dude.

9:52 Drew I mean broke up, she just said she needed her space. She loves me, she loves me, right?

9:56 Adam You're dating a new dude?

9:57 Drew She's not dating him, she loves me.

9:59 Adam How did she meet a dude in three days? It's been, Jesus Christ, been 72 hours. What the hell?

10:04 Drew I haven't left my bathroom.

10:06 Adam I've only jacked off 11 times since we've been broken up. But here's what it is, boys, especially when you're dealing with a 20-year-old woman. The reason she dropped the hammer on you is because there's someone else. She's not technically cheating, she's not done anything with the other guy yet, but there's an unspoken agreement. Which is out with the old and in with the new.

10:29 Drew The manager is at the mount. Right.

10:31 Adam I have had this happen to me way more than once.

10:34 Drew The card's going over to the bullpen.

10:36 Adam That's right, calling for the bullpen. So Crystal, whose place is it? Your place or his place?

10:42 Caller Both.

10:43 Adam Well, whose name is on the lease?

10:45 Caller Both.

10:46 Drew Can you get out of it?

10:47 Caller That's the rough part because it's almost like we're married. Because I mean, it's just like we have the same bank account, everything.

10:53 Drew You got to unravel it. You got to tell him you got to move home. You just got to move home.

10:56 Caller If I don't, I feel like I might cheat on him and I do not.

10:58 Drew Crystal, you've got to be an adult about this.

11:00 Adam You're already cheating on it.

11:01 Drew Yeah, I know. But you got to be an adult. You've got to you've got to just start the ball rolling and it's going to be messy. And you just got to plunge in.

11:08 Adam Is he going to be devastated?

11:10 Caller Well, I don't know, because I mean, it used to be OK. It used to be when we fight, he's, oh, I'm leaving. And I'd like beg him to stay. But then last time I didn't. And it totally freaked him out. So now he's being super nice. And I just know that as soon as I give in, OK, he's just going to be a dick again.

11:27 Drew Well, forget that even. Once you tell him you want to leave, it's going to be drama city.

11:32 Adam Do you have any kids?

11:33 Oh, no way. We had two fish.

11:36 Adam Good. All right. What's he do for a living?

11:39 Caller Well, he works at a factory.

11:41 Adam I see. And what do they do at this factory?

11:45 Caller They build windows and doors.

11:47 Adam Which one?

11:48 Caller Peachtree.

11:50 Adam Never heard of it.

11:51 Drew Peachtree Street.

11:52 Adam Wow. They do some of that. They do that double glazing.

11:54 Caller Uh-huh. Everything.

11:56 Adam Sweet. Sweet.

11:57 Drew What is that?

11:58 Adam That's where they have the dual glass.

12:00 Drew For the weather?

12:01 Adam Put the argon gas in there. Insulation.

12:03 Caller Exactly.

12:04 Adam Yeah.

12:04 Caller I work there, too.

12:05 Adam Oh, baby. Good times. Working around all that wood. Oh, I see. Well, now, what are you going to do when you break up with him and you're working in the same plant?

12:15 Caller Oh, that's the whole deal. It's like I see, dude, I just recently started working there.

12:21 Adam Okay.

12:21 Caller Well, I mean, you may like we see so much of each other. You just get on my nerves.

12:24 Adam And where's this third guy?

12:26 Caller He works there, too.

12:27 Adam I had a feeling.

12:28 Drew Is he your boss?

12:29 Caller No. No, he's not.

12:31 Adam What department is he in?

12:33 Caller Well, see, Josh does the doors and he does the windows.

12:35 Adam He's in the sash department. Interesting. Yeah. Those guys already have it out for each other. You know, the door guys and the window guys, they're like the Army and the Navy.

12:44 Drew They must have huge football.

12:46 Adam Huge.

12:47 Drew At every factory picnic, sack races.

12:50 Caller Sure.

12:52 Adam A lot of competition between those two branches of the openings world.

13:00 Caller All right.

13:01 Adam Somebody's going to have to get out of that factory.

13:03 Drew Yeah. I think Crystal is.

13:05 Adam Okay. I'll break up with the guy. Steph?

13:08 Yeah.

13:09 Adam You're 17.

13:10 Caller Yeah.

13:10 Adam What's up?

13:12 Caller Well, I'm good and everything. It's just this last weekend. I had sex with my boyfriend and I had finished my period on like Thursday or Friday-ish, somewhere around there. I can't remember. Tonight, I noticed that whenever I've had to go to the bathroom, it feels like I have to go to the bathroom a lot and I don't. I just, I-

13:33 Drew Well, you have a urine infection now.

13:35 Caller Is that what it is?

13:36 Drew Yeah. That's from having sex and you need to get that treated because that can get up into your kidneys and it can actually kill you. Yeah.

13:42 Caller It feels like something is just cutting my insides.

13:44 Drew Yeah. Well, go-

13:46 Caller Wait, is there blood?

13:47 Caller Yeah.

13:48 Drew When you pee?

13:48 Caller Yeah.

13:49 Drew Yeah. It's just the degree of inflammation in the bladder. You've got to get that taken care of. I mean, it's possible there are other things too, but it needs to be looked at.

13:55 Caller Well, my boyfriend had had an infection, like a stomach infection or something.

14:00 Drew No. This is just from the bacteria being pushed up into your bladder while you're having sex.

14:05 Adam I'll tell you, once women hit puberty, they never stop bleeding. They just never stop. That's what I've learned from this show. I mean, a guy, you bleed, hey, you've earned it. Playing a little basketball, caught a fingernail, fine, you're bleeding. You dump your dirt bike, you're bleeding. Women just never stop and for no reason.

14:24 Drew Well, their soul is slowly seeping from them. Once they get a kid, it goes in that direction.

14:30 Adam They just never stop bleeding. If it's not their period, it's some infection. If it's not that, something is, you know, they got some kind of tumor or some kind of pallop or something is putting pressure on something. Do women have pallops?

14:42 Drew Pallops, yes.

14:43 Adam I mean, pallops. Well, that's East Coast.

14:45 Drew Yeah, it is.

14:46 Adam A pallop of pallop.

14:49 Caller Old school.

14:53 Adam How do you spell pallop?

14:54 Drew P-O-L-Y-P.

14:56 Adam P what?

14:56 Drew P-O-L-Y-P.

14:58 Caller Pallop.

15:00 Adam Hannah and her sisters. Jennifer?

15:03 Caller Yes.

15:03 Adam You're 19?

15:05 Caller Yeah.

15:05 Adam What's up?

15:06 Caller Okay. This is a long story, but I'll try to make it as short as possible. Okay. I've been in a relationship for three years and two months. One year and seven months ago, when he moved here, it was an out of state relationship, long distance. And he started hitting me. Yeah.

15:30 Drew I was going to pull my wallet out for her before she told me that piece.

15:33 Adam And hit her with it or you want to gamble?

15:35 Drew Gambling.

15:35 Caller I see. Go ahead. No, I was never, there was no alcoholic or drunk.

15:43 Drew Nobody ever picked up an object and hit you?

15:45 Caller Ever.

15:45 Drew Or used their hand to hit you?

15:47 Caller My father, but that was...

15:49 Drew Oh, but she deserved that. Wait a minute. That's okay. You understand that's where this comes from, Jennifer?

15:55 Caller But it was like, I mean, it wasn't something that they would just slap, like it was like a slap on the butt or something.

16:01 Drew Yeah.

16:02 Caller It wasn't to the point where, the way I got hit.

16:05 Adam Well, they always up the ante, but how old is this guy?

16:10 Caller 21.

16:11 Adam 21. All right. So you've hooked up with him three years and two months ago. He was 18 and you were 15?

16:21 Caller Yeah. I was 15 just about to turn 16.

16:25 Adam I see. And now you guys have been together for, I mean moved in together a year and seven months ago.

16:30 Caller No, he never moved in with me.

16:32 Adam Oh, he moved into state.

16:33 Caller Yeah.

16:34 Drew Lo and behold, he starts beating on you just like that.

16:36 Adam But you don't live together.

16:39 Caller No.

16:39 Adam All right. And you want to end this relationship?

16:42 Caller The thing is he hasn't called in three days. He said he wants to show me his lesson and that when I get my head out of my, you know what, not to call him.

16:51 Adam Okay. Well, good.

16:52 Drew Don't call him. You're done. Change your phone number. Game over.

16:59 Adam Why is he teaching you a lesson?

17:01 Caller Every time he's done it, see, I was pregnant.

17:07 Adam With his child?

17:08 Caller Yeah.

17:08 Adam All right. Did you give birth?

17:10 Caller Yeah, I did.

17:11 Adam Where's the kid?

17:13 Caller With me.

17:13 Adam Oh, bad times.

17:15 Caller Yeah.

17:17 Adam Is it a boy or a girl?

17:18 Caller Boy. I hate that.

17:20 Caller More criminals.

17:22 Caller He was born nine pounds, 10 ounces.

17:24 Caller Big criminals.

17:25 Drew Are you diabetic?

17:26 Adam Big husky criminals.

17:28 Caller Oh no, I'm not diabetic. I'm perfectly healthy.

17:32 Adam You hooked on anything?

17:33 Caller No. Oh my God, no.

17:35 Adam You're not doing any drugs?

17:36 Caller Never in my life. I've never touched a cigarette.

17:38 Adam Okay. All right. So you have no excuse. You're not high. You're not strung out. You know what's going on. This guy hasn't...

17:45 Caller I have severe withdrawal. I want to call him so bad.

17:49 Drew Did you say you wanted to break up with him?

17:52 Caller No.

17:52 Adam Well, how often does he beat you?

17:57 Drew Listen, Jep, this is what you'll say.

17:58 Caller I have flown in to meet him, see him many times just for me to get beat, just for him to accept me again.

18:04 Drew Oh my God, this is so sick.

18:07 Adam But how?

18:08 Caller Okay, let me tell you guys something. He's the only person I've ever had in my life.

18:13 Adam No kidding.

18:13 Caller I've never had any other person in my life.

18:16 Drew Yeah, you don't have to put up with this. Let us be the first to tell you.

18:19 Caller He just made it seem like his mom got it done by his dad, and it's something very normal, and all women deserve it. And he told me himself, he said all women are bees. You know what I'm talking about?

18:30 Adam Bitches?

18:31 Caller Yes.

18:32 I'm sorry, can I say that?

18:33 Caller I don't know, I don't want to say anything.

18:35 Drew Why would you put up with this? If things have been so wonderful in your life, except for death beating you, why would you put up with anyone who feels this way about you or other women? Doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense.

18:49 Caller To be honest with you, I was, I mean, I don't know, I've just been brought up that if a woman has slept with another man or anything of that sort, no other man will want him. And he himself would tell me from day one.

19:03 Drew That if you slept with any other man, that you're tainted and that's it, no one will ever want you again.

19:08 Caller He told me that I'm his...

19:09 Drew Wait a minute, that would make every woman above the age of 18 tainted and no man would want them.

19:14 Adam Hold on, I buy that, Drew. What are you talking about? But all right.

19:18 Drew Wait a minute.

19:18 Adam We're willing to make exceptions.

19:19 Drew Wait, what are you saying?

19:20 Adam I'm agreeing with her.

19:21 Drew What?

19:22 Adam Sure.

19:23 Drew So all women over 18 are tainted.

19:24 Adam Well, most, yes. Jennifer.

19:26 Caller Yeah.

19:27 Adam Okay. Now listen to me, mama. You have a young child.

19:31 Caller Yeah.

19:32 Adam You cannot bring this child up around this sort of horrible abuse.

19:38 Caller He's not being caught up with me because my parents will not, they never accepted it from the beginning. He's not with me like.

19:45 Adam Good.

19:45 Drew Who has him?

19:47 Caller He's in another family.

19:49 Drew You adopted him out.

19:50 Caller Yeah.

19:50 Drew Oh, good. Oh, my God. Wonderful.

19:53 Caller Yeah.

19:53 Drew Good. Okay. Now we're back with you.

19:56 Caller Good.

19:56 Adam Now you can break up with this guy who is trying to teach you a lesson.

20:00 Caller How could he break up with me?

20:02 Adam Oh, listen.

20:02 Caller How did he have this family?

20:03 Adam Oh, who cares? This guy's an idiot.

20:06 Drew This is not love, Jennifer. This is not. There's a book out there called But I Love Him. It's called.

20:12 Caller I do know how to read. I am a UCLA student.

20:16 Drew All right, Jennifer, you go get this book. It's called But I Love Him. Go read that. All right.

20:20 Caller I love him.

20:21 Drew But I Love Him.

20:21 Adam UCLA.

20:22 Drew Yeah.

20:23 Adam Extension.

20:26 Caller I am at home. I dorm with my parents. I'm a bio major. I'm going to be taking Dr. Drew's seat in a couple of years.

20:34 Adam Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to put that seat out in the dumpster. Hold on a second. Let me talk to my partner.

20:45 Caller Junior College.

20:46 Drew Check it out.

20:47 Adam She said, she said, she was UCLA.

20:49 Drew By the time she's 20, she'll be there. Check it out.

20:53 Caller What do you mean?

20:53 Adam What am I supposed to do? I ask her to look a year into the future?

20:56 Drew Jennifer. Jennifer?

20:58 Caller Yeah.

20:59 Drew Are you on one of those junior college tracks into UCLA?

21:02 Caller No.

21:02 Drew You're there now at UCLA.

21:04 Caller Yeah.

21:05 Caller Yeah?

21:05 Caller Yeah.

21:06 Adam What's the main building called there?

21:09 Caller Ackman.

21:10 Caller All right.

21:11 Adam All right, you're lucky I don't know any buildings over there. Wait, I know Royce Hall. Now, wait a minute. Oh, she just hung up.

21:19 Drew Yeah.

21:19 Adam Okay. What's going on with her?

21:22 Caller I mean-

21:22 Drew She's got a personality disorder.

21:23 Adam She has a disorder?

21:24 Caller Yeah.

21:26 Drew What's up? We couldn't get it. I can't make a diagnosis. But she was beaten by her dad, so she's got that idea. See, what happens when kids are beaten? I want to explain this to you. This is interesting. Yeah. When kids are beaten, one of the feelings that young children cannot have is powerlessness. It literally equates with, I don't exist. Your brain will not let you have that feeling. What your brain does is it converts this whole circumstance into, that wonderful bigger-than-life adult is doing this to me because I deserve it. I need it. It's good for me. They know better. It's good for me. Now I'm back in control again. I'm in power again. That's who I am. It's the person, the powerful person that I idealize and need comes and abuses me. Because otherwise I don't exist.

22:09 Caller Right.

22:09 Drew And so she's found that in this abusive asshole guy. Now she also clearly has some other kinds of character problems.

22:16 Caller You can feel it, right?

22:17 Adam Oh yeah.

22:18 Drew Yeah. There's something else going on besides that.

22:20 Adam Looney is a toon, this one.

22:21 Drew Eh, Looney is a toon, but some issues. Oh yeah.

22:24 Adam Ten kinds of nuts, she was.

22:26 Drew Yeah. Well, you know. And she's 19. She has the adolescent issue. She can't see things. She has no up-inside.

22:33 Adam Break up with the guy.

22:34 Drew Break up with the guy.

22:35 Adam Find yourself a nice Asian guy over at UCLA and start a good life together.

22:41 Caller Thank God you gave the kid up for adoption.

22:43 Drew Yeah, yeah. I mean, we gotta hang with her on that anyway, right?

22:46 Adam Yeah, I think her parents forced her hand on that one.

22:49 Caller Okay.

22:50 Adam We're gonna take ourselves a break. When we come back, we'll speak to Emma. Emma's 18, can't have an orgasm with a vibrator or by masturbating, but can with oral.

23:01 Caller We'll get to that after this.

23:25 Caller You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio, 100.7 The Buzz. Hey, it's Loveline.

23:32 Adam I'm Adam. That's Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191-BLINK-182 in here tomorrow night. Tom and Mark and...

23:41 Drew What I heard Wednesday...

23:42 Adam The hell's that drummer say?

23:44 Drew Hey, Ann, I'm out.

23:44 Adam I'll figure that out tomorrow night.

23:45 Drew I don't know if you could talk about it, but I heard Jerry from The Survivors coming here Wednesday.

23:48 Adam Oh, really?

23:49 Caller All right.

23:50 Adam Well, that'll be interesting, and let's hop back on the phones here, speak to... Yeah, speak to Emma. It's 18, Emma.

23:59 Caller Hi.

23:59 Adam What's happening?

24:01 Caller I never knew what an orgasm was until I went out with my ex-boyfriend, and now that I do and I broke up with him, I can't orgasm by myself.

24:10 Drew How come?

24:11 Caller By masturbating. Masturbating.

24:12 Drew How come?

24:13 Adam No mouth on her vagina, perhaps?

24:17 Drew I'm interested in her perception of it. What's the problem?

24:21 Caller I don't know. It feels good, but...

24:23 Caller But? It just doesn't have that burst of...

24:27 Caller I don't know.

24:27 Drew How come? What do you think?

24:30 Caller I don't know.

24:31 Adam Drew, when is the last time you got a satisfactory answer out of anyone who called this show when you said, what are your feelings? How come?

24:37 Drew Yeah, you're right.

24:38 Adam Give me a little window into your thinking.

24:40 Drew No.

24:40 Adam Ever been a satisfying answer?

24:42 Drew Yeah, I know.

24:44 Adam Other than, I don't know, I don't know, I can't explain it, I don't know.

24:49 Caller Don't ask.

24:50 Adam Yeah, that's right. That's why you're calling. That's why you don't hear me asking questions. I yell at the callers and I tell them what to do, but you never hear me ask them anything.

24:58 Drew All right, because I believe that a big part of this is you need a person. You have to be connected with someone for all that to start happening spontaneously.

25:06 Adam You're talking about to work the vibrator?

25:08 Drew No, if that's the way it works for her, but just to work the clitoris.

25:12 Adam I see, with the vibrator.

25:13 Drew Yeah. And later on, they might start to work more spontaneously without another person, but at this stage, often times, I find that women need to be connected with someone.

25:22 Caller Okay.

25:22 Drew Or it doesn't really kind of make sense. Does that fit for you?

25:25 Caller It kind of does, yeah.

25:26 Drew Do you know what I'm talking about? That you need that sort of closeness in order for the whole thing to sort of work.

25:32 Adam Who broke up with who?

25:34 Caller He broke up with me.

25:35 Caller Who? What happened?

25:38 Caller He said it was an age thing. He was 23 when I was 18, so I don't know.

25:44 Caller I see.

25:45 Drew He doesn't want to get back or anything?

25:48 Caller He doesn't want to get back.

25:50 Drew You obviously do, right?

25:51 Caller Yeah. I did for a while, but I'm kind of...

25:54 Caller I've kind of accepted it.

25:56 Drew Well, maybe it's time to find a new boyfriend.

25:58 Caller Yeah.

25:59 Caller That's another thing with me.

26:01 Caller I kind of...

26:02 Caller He was my first boyfriend when I was 18.

26:04 Caller This was like earlier this year. And I don't know.

26:08 Caller I just kind of have an issue with intimacy, I guess.

26:11 Drew Because of that? Because of that relationship?

26:13 Caller No, no.

26:14 Drew You always have had that?

26:15 Caller Yeah.

26:17 Drew What's the problem?

26:18 Caller I think it's a cultural thing.

26:20 Drew What?

26:21 Caller Not from America, so...

26:23 Drew Where are you from?

26:24 Caller From Zimbabwe.

26:26 Caller It's in Africa.

26:27 Adam Oh, yeah. We're hip. And how long have you been out here?

26:32 Caller For four years.

26:33 Adam Aren't you supposed to have some kind of accent?

26:37 Caller Well, I spoke English when I was there, so...

26:39 Adam I see.

26:40 Drew You didn't have any weird genital rituals done on you or anything?

26:44 Caller No. Okay.

26:45 Adam Well, you dodged that Zimbabwe bullet. And now you're out here. What are you doing?

26:51 Caller In college.

26:52 Adam Where?

26:53 Caller MU. Missouri. University of Missouri.

26:56 Drew From Zimbabwe to Missouri.

26:57 Adam A lot of guys at your school, right?

27:00 Caller Yeah.

27:01 Adam What about this guy? What was he? Was he from Zimbabwe?

27:05 Caller No, no. He was an American.

27:06 Adam Regular guy. So you like American guys, right?

27:09 Caller Yeah. Okay.

27:10 Adam And just find yourself another American guy.

27:13 Caller Okay. All right.

27:14 Adam I'll go right down on you again.

27:16 Caller Yeah. Okay.

27:17 Caller How's your dad?

27:18 Caller He's cool.

27:19 Caller He's in Zimbabwe right now.

27:21 Adam I see. So he doesn't know what these American guys are doing to your vagina, right?

27:25 Caller No, no.

27:26 Adam Okay. All right. And what's the problem with the culture?

27:29 Caller Um, I don't know.

27:31 Caller My mom is kind of... I don't know.

27:37 Caller I mean, guys, we're not supposed to date really early and the whole thing with that.

27:43 Adam Hey, you listen. When in Rome, you do what the Romans do, right?

27:47 Caller All right.

27:48 Drew I don't know what you're suggesting.

27:49 Adam You're in the United States now. It's time to start whoring around.

27:53 Drew We have another immigrant, right?

27:56 Adam It's too late. She's already been corrupted by the tongue of this American, the velvety tongue of this brash young American 23-year-old.

28:04 Caller Horrible, horrible person.

28:05 Adam That's right.

28:06 Caller All right.

28:07 Adam You find a new guy, you forget all about it.

28:09 Caller Okay.

28:09 Adam Good times. Bye-bye.

28:11 Caller All right.

28:12 Drew Makes sense to me. If you were in Zimbabwe, you'd dream of a day when you'd finally get to Missouri, wouldn't you?

28:17 Adam Listen, I grew up in North Hollywood and I dreamt of a day when I'd arrive in Missouri. Christina.

28:24 Caller Yes, sir.

28:25 Adam You're 15.

28:25 Drew Sir.

28:26 Caller Yes, I am.

28:27 Adam Howdy. Howdy.

28:28 Caller Howdy.

28:29 Adam What's up?

28:30 Caller Well, I have this thing. I like to get a lot of guys and make them think that I really like them when I don't and they're a lot older than me.

28:42 Drew What does that do for you?

28:46 Caller Well, see, I think it's maybe because a lot of times go and I don't live like out in the country and I don't like to know a lot of guys and stuff and I think I just kind of like the attention.

28:59 Drew Okay, so you're so lonely. There's just some way of controlling people and getting people to notice you. By the way, Adam, Adam, you know how I do this with the paper? This could not annoy you as much as you sitting here writing numbers. Drives me insane every night. Well, listen, you write numbers every night. Just one, two, three, four. You're down to 40 here tonight, ladies and gentlemen.

29:21 Adam You know why I do that?

29:22 Drew No.

29:23 Adam I look at this job as being a prisoner. I really, it's like...

29:29 Drew Pappy off.

29:30 Adam Yeah, you know what guys did in the gulag? You know, they did those prison, those war movies. They just sit there and put scratches in the wall. That's what I do. One time I get to like 10,000.

29:41 Drew Well, let me fool my paper here.

29:42 Adam You know why? Because it makes noise on the air. Doesn't bother me. It's just you can hear it.

29:46 Drew Can you hear it?

29:48 Adam Yeah, I can hear it. Anderson can hear it too. You always do that, Drew. Very passive aggressive. Christina, I'm sorry for that outburst. Why are you doing homeschooling and how's the football team this year?

30:03 Caller I have no idea. I don't know. I've always been homeschooled. My parents just wanted to do it.

30:10 Drew Well, maybe you need a social appear group sometime.

30:14 Caller They don't really let me do a whole lot.

30:18 Adam Can your homeschool arrange dances and proms with other homeschools or play them in a basketball game or something?

30:28 Caller They don't let me talk to guys or anything.

30:31 Drew Are you in some sort of cult or something? No. No weird, no religious thing or?

30:35 Caller No, no.

30:36 Adam What's your dad do for a living?

30:38 Caller He's like a vice president of a roofing company.

30:43 Drew What kind?

30:44 Adam Roofing company. Roofers are some of the worst society has to offer. No, it's horrible. They sit up there with that hot mop all day, sucking on tar.

30:54 Drew He's the white collar guy.

30:56 Adam Yeah. Let me tell you. Vice president, you and two guys, you own the van. That makes you the vice president. Please. Christina.

31:04 Caller Yes, sir?

31:05 Adam Your folks have to let you assimilate into society a little bit.

31:10 Drew Those are skills you need in order to function in the world.

31:13 Adam How do you go to college when you're home schooled?

31:17 Caller You get like a diploma when you graduate from college.

31:19 Drew Yeah, but how do you make that transition though? It's tough enough going from high school to college.

31:23 Adam Your mom uses an eyebrow pencil and scrolls it out on her apron and hands it to you.

31:29 Caller Actually, I'm graduating next year and...

31:32 Adam Sure, why not just graduate this year? Who cares? I mean, you take the SATs, right?

31:38 Caller Yes, sir.

31:39 Adam Are you going to go off to college somewhere?

31:41 Caller Yes, I'm planning on going to college.

31:43 Adam Do they have home college?

31:45 Caller Yes, but I've decided to be a veterinarian.

31:49 Adam Hold on a second. You know what I'd like to do first off? Is there a 15-year-old girl in America who doesn't think she's going to be a veterinarian? Is she alive? Has a female been born yet that did not think she was going to be a veterinary doctor at some point, at some stage, just for a fleeting moment? Has there been a woman born who has not thought that? No. Okay. As it turns out, it's usually just lesbians who end up working around animals. Somehow, they can identify with the extra hair or the weight. I don't know what it is, but lesbians love animals.

32:25 Drew You're trying to endear yourself, is that what you're saying?

32:27 Adam No. Here's what I'm saying. I don't understand this homeschooling. I don't trust parents who put their kids in homeschooling. Hey, if your kid is a danger to themselves or other students, fine. But if not, you're screwing them up. And why not then just keep them through home high school, home college, and then get them into a home doctoral program and let them be a veterinarian? They can graduate of magna cum laude.

32:56 Drew And never deal with any people.

32:57 Adam Right.

32:57 Drew Just stay with the animals. That's a good point. Yeah. Let the animals handle the people. You don't deal with the animals.

33:04 Adam Christina?

33:05 Drew Yes, sir.

33:06 Adam Okay. Do your parents let you watch TV? No, sir.

33:10 Drew Whoa.

33:11 Caller Why not?

33:13 Adam No cable? Is there cable in the house? No.

33:16 Caller We get like five channels.

33:18 Adam No, that is child abuse. That is worse than beating a child.

33:22 Drew So where's sort of your connection with your peers?

33:24 Caller Excuse me?

33:25 Drew The show like connects you with peers, huh?

33:28 Caller Yeah, so I don't actually, I'm not even supposed to listen to it.

33:31 Adam No, no. It's the devil's radio. Are your parents some bizarre religion like a shaker or quaker?

33:40 Caller Oh, no, no, no.

33:41 Caller What are they?

33:42 Caller We're just, I don't, we don't like really go to church or anything. We're just like...

33:46 Adam So it's not a religious thing.

33:48 Caller No, sir.

33:48 Adam But no cable. But your parents have money?

33:52 Caller Oh, yes, sir.

33:53 Adam And you have a nice home?

33:55 Caller Yes, sir.

33:55 Drew But you have no friends?

33:57 Caller Um, well, I have three brothers and a sister.

33:59 Drew And they're all homeschooled?

34:00 Caller Yes, sir.

34:01 Drew Oh, my God.

34:02 Caller Well, my brother, he's like 17. He's not even allowed to talk to girls or anything.

34:08 Adam But there's no religion involved with the family.

34:11 Caller Oh, well, we're like Christians.

34:15 Adam Pretty devout Christians?

34:17 Caller Oh, not really.

34:19 Adam Do you study the Bible?

34:20 Caller Yes, sir.

34:21 Drew See, I don't know how she would even know. How does she have any way of judging the questions you're asking?

34:26 Caller Yeah.

34:26 Drew All she knows is what she is.

34:28 Caller All right.

34:28 Adam Let me ask some important questions. Does your dad have a beard but no mustache?

34:33 Caller No, sir.

34:34 Drew Yes?

34:35 Caller No, sir.

34:36 Adam No, sir.

34:36 Drew Okay.

34:37 Adam I see. How often do you study the Bible?

34:40 Caller I read it every day.

34:41 Adam Every day?

34:42 Caller Yes, sir.

34:42 Drew So she doesn't have any contacts?

34:44 Adam Right.

34:45 Caller Everybody does that, right?

34:46 Drew No. All right, Christina?

34:49 Caller I don't know.

34:50 Drew I see. Yeah. She doesn't know.

34:51 Adam Listen, Christina.

34:53 Caller Yes, sir?

34:53 Adam Your parents are religious nut jobs. That's what's going on. And they're raising you in some kind of cult-like environment. This is no different than the Waco incident, except for there's just a smaller house. Less nut jobs in it.

35:08 Drew She doesn't know what Waco is.

35:10 Adam You don't know what Waco is?

35:12 Caller The Branch Davidian.

35:13 Adam What is it? Is that what it is? What's it called? Branch Davidian?

35:17 Drew I think that's right.

35:18 Adam You're calling from Texas?

35:20 Caller Yes, sir.

35:20 Drew How do you know what the Waco incident was? Are you allowed to read the papers?

35:23 Caller No. I heard my parents talking about it.

35:26 Adam I see. Okay.

35:27 Drew And they were sympathetic?

35:29 Caller Yes, sir.

35:30 Adam Oh, yeah. Well, Drew, what, do you want them to burn all the kids? Is that your plan? Priscilla?

35:36 Caller Yes, sir.

35:37 Caller Oh, boy.

35:38 Adam You need to dig a tunnel out of your room like Hogan's Heroes, out off the property and into some bar or something, into some library, into some place that has cable.

35:50 Caller People. There's people.

35:54 Adam You need to cut home school. You need to get out of there. You need to see people. You need to experience life. And where do you meet these guys that you tempt, these older guys?

36:09 Caller I get up late at night when everybody else is asleep and I get on the Internet.

36:14 Caller Oh, man.

36:15 Adam Oh, they let you have the Internet.

36:17 Caller Well, no. That's why I wait until everybody is asleep.

36:21 Caller Right.

36:21 Adam Because they have it for the home schooling or something?

36:24 Caller Yeah. My mom uses it.

36:25 Adam I see.

36:26 Drew And they probably have it all restricted in all kinds of ways.

36:29 Adam Does your mom use the Internet to communicate with her other wacko religious friends?

36:37 Caller I don't know, sir.

36:40 Adam All right. That was a loaded question. You're right. It's hard to answer that one. Okay. What should Christina... Christina?

36:47 Drew Stop messing around with those guys. One of them is going to show up in your doorstep. Okay?

36:52 Caller Yes, sir.

36:52 Adam All right. Now, graduate home school early and go off to college somewhere.

36:57 Caller They're not going to let me live. I like to get my driver's license until I'm 18.

37:02 Drew But how about college?

37:03 Adam Can you go to college somewhere?

37:05 Caller Yes, sir.

37:06 Drew All right.

37:06 Adam Go. Okay. Go far away to college. Go to one of those lesbian schools in San Francisco. Probably have a hell of a veterinarian department over there.

37:18 Drew I quasi-sympathize with their parents. It's so hard to know how much to expose your kids to of the world because it's so awful. All my kids were watching The Simpsons the other night. I thought, Oh my God, this is awful. But you know what? That's the world I'm releasing them into.

37:33 Adam Releasing them. What are you, a game warden? Releasing your kids in the wild. Well, you got to tag them first.

37:40 Drew Yeah.

37:41 Adam Then what you do is put a little file mark on their tooth so you can recognize them when you see them next. Sometimes they'll pull those tags off by rubbing on the bark of a tree.

37:49 Drew The point is, they need to expose them to this stuff and sort of doses. Who knows what the doses are and what the right amount is.

37:57 Adam Don't be paranoid. You're going to give your kids an eating disorder. When we come back, we're going to speak to Kendra. Kendra is 24, has orgasms, but she doesn't have an emotional connection after this.

38:31 Caller You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio. 100.7 The Buzz.

38:51 Adam Yeah, it is Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Drew. Blink 182 in here tomorrow night. Always good to see those boys. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. And it's to the phones we go. Kendra.

39:07 Caller Yeah.

39:07 Adam You're 24?

39:08 Caller Yeah.

39:09 Adam So, you have orgasms, but you have no emotional connection?

39:16 Caller I don't even really feel the orgasms. Like, I know that I physically have them, but I don't feel like I've had an orgasm.

39:26 Adam Yeah. Maybe you have it.

39:29 Caller Well, I'm pretty sure that I have.

39:32 Drew Why?

39:32 Caller Why?

39:33 Caller Well, you know, female ejaculate.

39:36 Drew Yeah.

39:37 Caller That happens.

39:40 Drew And yet you don't have an experience with it.

39:43 Caller My girlfriend agrees that she feels muscles contracting and.

39:48 Adam No. You're a lesbian partner.

39:50 Caller Yes.

39:52 Adam Veterinarian student?

39:53 Caller Pardon?

39:54 Adam No. Okay. And so she, she, and you feel, if it was a graph, would it sort of go up, up, up until something came out of you and then drop down again?

40:09 Caller I don't think so.

40:10 Caller I think it's, it's like, I just feel it very objectively. It's kind of like, you know, how a computer can have like a thermometer and it can be read it and be like 102. It's hot out, but the computer doesn't actually feel hot.

40:22 Caller Oh boy.

40:24 Drew So what happened Kendra?

40:25 Adam Unless it's Robin Williams, which eventually he begins having feelings. You know, there's a movie. Yeah.

40:34 Caller Robot.

40:35 Drew Yeah.

40:36 Caller I don't.

40:37 Caller I don't know. I wonder if I was molested. There's like I've got three sisters.

40:44 Drew Yeah.

40:44 Caller And all three of the other ones have some kind of like lesbian, something rather going on.

40:54 Adam Sue the water company.

40:55 Drew Your dad was what?

40:56 Caller My dad was very violent.

40:58 Drew Oh, well, there you go. That certainly can turn you off to male certainly. It also can make it difficult for you to arouse being burned out, having your arousal system so sort of overwhelmed all the time. You become that person that needs a high degree of arousal in order to experience yourself.

41:16 Caller I don't know. My parents actually divorced when I was three and my mother moved. Like my dad lives in California. I live in New Hampshire. That's where we moved when I was three. I don't even remember anything really of it.

41:31 Adam But you're nerve ending still.

41:33 Drew Your brain circuitry does. It's not a memory issue. It's how your brain is sort of evolving in the face of all that incredible stimulation.

41:42 Caller Okay.

41:43 Drew Now, how about the stepfathers?

41:46 Caller No.

41:47 Drew Nobody since?

41:48 Caller Nobody.

41:49 Drew What made you concerned about sexual abuse?

41:55 Caller One of my sisters, she had come out to visit my mother's side of the family for some reason. She's actually a half sister. She was taken to the doctor and the doctor went to palpate her stomach and she folded up in a ball.

42:13 Drew How could you have a half sister if there are no stepfather?

42:17 Caller My dad's second wife is a lesbian. She wasn't like bisexual. She was a lesbian but she wanted to marry my dad so that the children wouldn't be illegitimate.

42:29 Adam Boy, you got a strong lesbian theme running in your family.

42:34 Caller My actually my stepmother told me she thought it was funny that all four of us had lesbian tendencies. She said she didn't pick my dad for his masculinity.

42:42 Adam Okay. Maybe she did.

42:45 Drew She's violent.

42:46 Caller All right.

42:46 Drew This is very confusing. I need a chalkboard.

42:48 Adam Kendra, you're saying you have an orgasm, you feel nothing.

42:52 Caller Yeah.

42:52 Adam Okay.

42:53 Drew That's a problem. Right. In my experience, that often is sexual abuse.

42:57 Adam How is your relationship with your partner otherwise?

43:00 Caller It's actually, it's very good. I think it's probably the first like actual positive relationship that I've had.

43:09 Drew Prior to that, pretty negative and chaotic.

43:12 Caller Yeah. I had a girlfriend previously for five years on and off. You know how that works?

43:17 Caller Oh, sure.

43:17 Caller We were abusive to each other.

43:19 Caller Very nice.

43:20 Caller Prior to that, it was like boys for a few months.

43:23 Caller All right.

43:24 Adam Well, you got a good partner now. Maybe you were abused, possibly, probably. Maybe a little therapy.

43:31 Drew Maybe just some time with a decent partner and you'll start to feel again.

43:34 Adam Well, she's with someone decent.

43:35 Drew That's what I'm saying. Maybe this little time things will start to open up a little bit. It is.

43:39 Caller It has been like 16 months and I've been in therapy since I was like six off and on. But I'm kind of like if I don't remember anything, that's what therapists have always told me. I've brought this up and I say, well, you know, if you remember something, we can talk about it.

43:56 Adam But maybe you miss penis. You miss some penis.

44:01 Caller Pardon?

44:02 Adam You miss penis?

44:03 Caller No.

44:04 Adam Okay, maybe not. Hey, I miss my balls. All right.

44:08 Drew I don't know. People have misconception about therapy. Therapy is not like going walking down memory lane. You know, it's much more experiential than that. It's having a bunch of experience in relation to another person who you project a bunch of your old crap onto and see where you go.

44:23 Adam Not me. For me, it's like that old cartoon Commander McBrack. I sit on a big high back chair. I spin a globe around.

44:32 Drew Did I ever tell you about the time out back in Australia?

44:35 Caller Quite.

44:37 Adam Then I smoke a pipe. Yes.

44:40 Drew Then I swam across the Amazon.

44:42 Adam That's right. Drew remembers Commander McBrack.

44:44 Drew What cartoon was he on?

44:47 Adam There's always some controversy here.

44:49 Caller Always controversy.

44:50 Drew No, I got this.

44:51 Adam Wasn't I discussing this with you? Weren't we arguing about this? No. That wasn't you?

44:55 Drew No.

44:56 Adam A lot of people say Commander McBrack was from Rocky and Bullwinkle.

45:03 Drew No, no.

45:03 Adam Can I say no to that too? No, no way. I remember it as being with Underdog.

45:09 Drew No. I'll tell you where it's from.

45:12 Adam A lot of people say, I don't know.

45:15 Drew Tennessee Tuxedo.

45:16 Caller Gosh, God damn it.

45:18 Adam I was going to say that.

45:19 Drew I know.

45:19 Adam It was in earlier.

45:20 Drew Because I have to wash this crap again now with my kids. So, I guarantee you that's what it's from.

45:24 Adam It wasn't Tennessee Tuxedo and Underdog. They weren't ever connected.

45:27 Drew They were related, but no, no.

45:29 Adam These were classics, everybody, before you were born.

45:32 Caller John? How are you doing?

45:34 Adam You're 30. What's up?

45:36 Caller My girlfriend is taking something that's termed Clenbuterol, and it's in a package called SpiroPent.

45:42 Drew Clenbuterol, Clenbuterol.

45:44 Caller All right.

45:45 Caller From what I understand, it's not really a steroid, but it's supposed to aid in weight loss. All right. All right. Do you have any idea what this stuff really is? It says it's kind of like an asthmatic, like medication of some form.

46:01 Drew Yeah. It could be what's called a beta-2 agonist, and that does those sorts of Clenbuterol.

46:10 Adam Yeah. How big is your girlfriend?

46:13 Caller Not really big at all.

46:14 Drew Those sorts of beta agonists can help mobilization of fat, but that would be a weird thing to use, a very strange thing to do.

46:22 Caller I know that like athletes have taken it. I know there was some stuff about Olympic athletes.

46:27 Adam Why is your girlfriend taking this?

46:29 Caller Because she wants to lose like another five pounds.

46:32 Drew Does she have like a, is she bulimia?

46:34 Caller No, no. She's like a real workout kind of chick. I don't know what she's into.

46:39 Adam Yeah, she has a problem.

46:40 Caller Yeah.

46:40 Drew It's called bulimia when they excessively workout and excessively preoccupy and start taking medicines, even though they have very low body weight.

46:48 Caller Really?

46:49 Drew Yeah, that's a form of bulimia.

46:50 Adam Do you think she needs to lose the five pounds?

46:55 Caller Maybe here and there, but I'd never say it.

46:57 Adam How much does she weigh?

46:59 Caller About 130. She's like 5'6.

47:02 Adam All right, that's fine.

47:03 Drew Yeah, she's all muscle.

47:05 Adam All right, listen, tell her Dr. Drew said it could be dangerous.

47:08 Drew Especially if she's excessively working out and taking a bit. That really could go to the heart because of the arrhythmia.

47:14 Adam Most of that stuff is just speed.

47:16 Drew No, this is this beta. It's a little different. But if that's what it is, I'd have to get a PDR out to look.

47:21 Adam Why? What's the difference between how would you know if it was speed?

47:26 Drew That's emphatomy. That's different. It's called butyral.

47:28 Adam It wouldn't have the beta or the buta?

47:33 Drew Tyrol.

47:34 Adam The Tyrol is what makes it non-speed?

47:36 Drew Albutyral. Butyral is the sort of...

47:38 Adam That makes it non-speed?

47:39 Drew Yeah.

47:40 Adam All right. We'll take a little break.

47:42 Caller We'll be back. We'll be right back.

47:47 Call on the 1-800-LOVE-191.

48:32 Adam Hey, Love Line, I'm Adam Carolla. That's my trusty companion and faithful sidekick, Dr. Drew, who's in the bathroom right now as the show begins. And he wonders why I complain, we get paid the same amount. It is really a travesty.

48:50 Anything can cause addiction, Adam. Did you know that?

48:56 Adam That's David Alan Greer as Dr. Drew is now seen fit to rejoin us in the Loveline studio. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. And it's time to get back to the phones. Alicia? You're 20?

49:11 Caller Yes.

49:12 Adam What's up?

49:13 Caller Well, about four years ago, I had Grave disease. And I got my thyroid taken out because it had actually wrapped, grown back behind my throat around my windpipe and strangled me like a noose.

49:30 Caller So, I got my thyroid taken out and all was well. You know, I was taking Synthrate for a while and about a couple of weeks ago, I found a little bump on my throat, on the right side of my throat. So, naturally, I went into the doctor and got it checked out and...

49:45 Drew By the way, this show is not such a natural assumption. So, naturally, I did nothing and then I called the radio station.

49:51 Adam I popped the bong load and I called it at the day.

49:54 Drew So okay, then what happened?

49:56 Caller Yeah, so he took a biopsy and he told me that people with Grave's disease are prone to getting thyroid cancer.

50:04 Drew Yeah, yeah.

50:05 Caller So, my question is, after he gives the biopsy back, which is probably going to be on Wednesday...

50:11 Drew But you had your thyroid out, though.

50:13 Caller Yeah, that's what I thought. You know, I thought for four years that I had no thyroid whatsoever, but he told me that normally they don't take 100% of it out.

50:21 Drew Oh, so it was a partial... It's called a partial thyroidectomy. Okay.

50:24 Caller I guess. He said something about the vocal cords, how...

50:27 Drew Yeah...

50:27 Caller .rhythm or something.

50:28 Drew Well, no, there's some nerves that go through the thyroid, the recurrent laryngeal nerves that supply innervation to your vocal cords. The vocal cords wouldn't work without that nerve.

50:39 Adam So he's saying that...

50:40 Drew Stay away from it...

50:41 Adam .the little thyroid you have left may be cancerous now?

50:45 Caller Well, he said that I have a really high possibility of... It could be three things. It could just be, you know, a lymphoid, and really I wouldn't have to get it taken out at all. Or it could be cancerous, which means I have to get it out.

50:56 Drew You haven't had... But they took a biopsy of it already, right?

50:58 Caller They took a biopsy, and I don't find out until Wednesday. He says...

51:01 Drew Was it in the middle or on the side?

51:03 Caller It's on the side. And my question is, if it is cancerous, I mean, and they take it out, do I still have to go through any kind of chemotherapy already, you know, right now?

51:12 Drew Well, if it's thyroid, it depends what kind of thyroid cancer, but thyroid cancers are very controllable, very treatable, and oftentimes, they just put you on certain, just a suppressive medication you take for basically ever.

51:23 Adam Why don't they keep after that if you're at risk for cancer? Is it because it's not a bad cancer?

51:29 Drew It's not a bad cancer, and it's not a bad risk.

51:32 Caller I have another question. Can I ask anything to do with that? My doctor, I recently moved down to California, and I changed doctors from the one I am going to right now to her, and she upped my dosage quite a bit, and I'm at 225, and when I told the doctor here who actually did the procedure, because I flew back to my hometown in Salt Lake City, Utah...

51:56 Drew 225 micrograms.

51:58 Caller I'm sorry?

51:58 Drew 225 micrograms.

52:00 Caller Yeah.

52:00 Drew 0.225. Of what? Synthroid, or whatever. Lilevo thyroxin. Yeah.

52:06 Caller He said that when the doctor here, when he asked me how much I was on, I told him, you know, it was 225.

52:12 Drew That's a massive dose. It's a massive dose.

52:15 Caller He was really surprised. He said, you know, normally, it's like 300 is the highest. So should, is she possibly, I mean, that doctor, should she have anything to do with this growth?

52:26 Drew No, no, no. If anything, it would suppress the growth.

52:30 Adam Still, you know, you don't go to check doctors. I mean, Alicia, you use your head, honey. Why don't you have those two doctors talk? Can they do that?

52:39 Caller No. Well, that's the thing. My insurance is different in California than it is up here. And I wanted to come up here because...

52:44 Drew Where is up here?

52:45 Caller Salt Lake City, Utah. Oh, okay. I flew home just so I can see this.

52:49 Adam I know, but...

52:49 Caller He knows my case. He knows...

52:50 Adam Can't those two communicate?

52:52 Caller She won't. She won't communicate with them. I asked for a, what do you call it, a referral. She wouldn't give me a referral. She kind of doesn't want anything to do with it.

53:01 Drew Yeah, you're an HMO, though.

53:04 Adam Maybe you need to find a new doctor.

53:05 Drew No, she's in a system. She's in an HMO. So it's not the doctor's fault. She can't get referrals.

53:11 Adam But can she, can't request that this doctor talk to her first doctor and get a case file? Doesn't that make sense?

53:20 Drew It makes sense.

53:22 Adam She wouldn't do that? She can have her email over a case file or something like that?

53:28 Drew She should ask for the records, yeah. For sure. Listen, under HMO doctors, they get three minutes for a patient. Really?

53:33 Adam Yeah. Sounds like too much.

53:35 Drew Yeah.

53:36 Adam How do you get three minutes for a patient? How do you get them to wait in their underpants for an hour and a half? You only get three minutes.

53:42 Drew You follow a bunch of other people through to make it seem like they're interacting with somebody.

53:45 Adam I see. So, you get them in their underpants. Yeah, because my trip to the doctor officially starts when the pants come down. Right. So, the nurse tells you to get in your underpants. You stand there like an animal for an hour and a half in your underpants and then the doctor sees you for three minutes. He checks your throat and lets you go home. Okay. Good times. Steven?

54:07 Caller Hello?

54:08 Adam You're 18.

54:09 Caller No, 16.

54:10 Adam 16.

54:11 Caller What's up?

54:12 Caller My name is Sarah Eisenbeis and I...

54:14 Adam Wait, this is Sarah?

54:16 Caller Yeah.

54:16 Adam Oh. Well, a little miscommunication on our call board here.

54:20 Drew What's up?

54:21 Adam All right. 16 year old Sarah, what's going on?

54:23 Caller Um, I... Whenever I get really upset, um, I have thoughts of suicide and, um, I'm wondering... I know that's not quite normal, but it goes away when I... when I... when I, um, calm down.

54:35 Drew Yeah.

54:38 Caller I was molested.

54:39 Caller And I'm really young.

54:41 Drew So, what... what... Have you had some treatment?

54:44 Caller No.

54:45 Drew Don't those suicidal ideas give you a sense that perhaps something is more wrong than ought to be?

54:51 Caller Well...

54:52 Drew Maybe you could benefit from some treatment? That, God forbid, someday maybe you get really upset and accidentally or impulsively hurt yourself?

54:59 Caller I've... I've attempted before.

55:01 Drew Yeah. So why don't we get some treatment here? Get some treatment so at least your life is not at such risk.

55:08 Caller Okay.

55:08 Drew Okay? And then also, by the way, you don't have to suffer with these things. There are things that can be done. The suicidal thinking, I sometimes think of as the pain, the discomfort, the emotional sort of reaction is so powerful that that suicide becomes sort of a rational way of dealing with it because it's so overwhelming, it's so powerful and so painful. And the fact is, that's not normal.

55:29 Adam Who molested you?

55:31 Caller My next door neighbor crossed the street from me when I was really very young.

55:35 Adam How long did this go on?

55:37 Caller I was... I only like remember little bits of it, but I'm sure it went on probably for a while, probably until I was eight.

55:46 Adam You know what I'm going to do when I have kids, when I have to leave or leave them unsupervised for any period of time, I'm going to clip their diaper onto a flagpole. You know those hooks they used to hold the flag on there? Hoist them up, tie it off, put a little padlock on there.

56:01 Drew Sure.

56:02 Adam And come back, they'll be up top of the pole, just blowing in the wind. Lower them back down, give them the feeding, and then for bedtime, right back up the pole. Go back in, get some sleep.

56:12 Drew Utopia.

56:13 Adam Alright, and this went on for how long?

56:16 Caller It went on for probably 5-6 years.

56:18 Adam No, 5-6 years?

56:21 Caller Yeah, the only time, I just, I just, because they finally got him. Oh. I didn't say anything, I was about 9 when they called me up to testify. To the police department and I lied.

56:34 Caller Oh, I really lied. I guess I was scared.

56:37 Caller It's so stupid now, I kick myself in the head.

56:39 Adam Nah, don't do that. Kick yourself in the ass.

56:41 Drew You were 9 years old, you were 9 years old.

56:45 Adam What were your parents doing? I don't trust them.

56:47 Caller My mom was an alcoholic.

56:48 Drew There we go.

56:49 Caller My dad is a great guy, he's dealing with her and she's bleeding him dry of all her money and the system is completely biased against men and he's getting screwed.

57:00 Drew Interesting, are you an alcoholic?

57:01 Caller No.

57:02 Drew You sure?

57:03 Caller Yeah.

57:03 Drew You don't have the gene, you don't have the tendency?

57:06 Caller I don't really, I don't drink that much. The only thing I do which is like medicinally, I smoke pot every now and then.

57:12 Drew But you're not into it?

57:13 Caller No, I'm not like gotta have it every week.

57:16 Adam And you never tried to kill yourself?

57:18 Caller I have.

57:19 Adam You have?

57:20 Caller When I did it, I've done it, I've probably like four times.

57:23 Adam How did you try to kill yourself?

57:25 Caller Oh, like, New Prenant Aspirin and just overdosing on like whatever I had around.

57:31 Drew How come that didn't bring you to treatment?

57:33 Caller Cause nobody knew about it.

57:35 Drew Oh boy.

57:36 Adam All right.

57:36 Drew Oh man.

57:37 Adam Well, how about getting some treatment now?

57:40 Caller All right.

57:40 Adam There's a plan, right?

57:42 Caller Yeah.

57:42 Drew That's too boring, Adam. How dare you?

57:44 Adam I know, but listen, I was about to call her Steven cause I just looked up at the screen. Now, Sarah, you know, what this neighbor did to you took away a certain portion of your life and now you're taking away the rest of your life. Maybe it's through suicide or maybe it's just through sort of destroying your life. I'm not saying it's your fault, but that's effectively what's going on. All right. Let's not do that anymore. This guy took a small chunk of your life. And the good news is no one was doing anything between the age of, you know, three and nine anyway. Just crapping on themselves and dreaming about being astronauts. So you lost some time. That's all right. You're 16, you're young, little therapy, little treatment, little group, get your head on straight. You go off and have a good life. As a matter of fact, you overcompensate because of what happened to you. You become some sort of captain of industry and basically chew everyone out all the time and make a lot of money until one day you actually break down in tears and freak everyone out in some board meeting. But until then, you have a very good life.

58:50 Caller Yeah.

58:50 Caller All right.

58:51 Adam Get some treatment.

58:52 Drew Get some care.

58:52 Caller It just happens like sporadically.

58:54 Drew That doesn't make excuses.

58:58 Adam Not treatment for the suicide, treatment for the molestation. The world is your oyster. I mean, because that's all the world is. I swear to Christ, I will sue Westwood Well.

59:12 Drew Who ever said that?

59:13 Adam Eva Anderson, please. I know I was kidding when I said that. I had to have been kidding. That's how good an actor I am, Drew. Do you understand that?

59:27 Drew Oh, yeah. I could feel the method acting right through.

59:30 Adam You felt that?

59:30 Drew Yeah, the through line was there.

59:32 Adam You know I don't care about the kids. Why would I say that? Tracy, the world is your oyster.

59:42 Caller Because that's all you have.

59:44 Drew No, I did not buy it that time. No, with nearly the same gusto, the same enthusiasm, the same verb that you had in the Ace version.

59:52 Adam If I had to sell that, I could sell it. The world is your oyster. I mean, because that's all the world is.

59:59 Caller Okay.

1:00:00 Drew Wait a minute.

1:00:00 Caller Let me try that again.

1:00:04 Adam I mean, the world is your oyster. Because, that's all the world is.

1:00:09 Drew That's all the world is.

1:00:11 Adam All the world is. Well, I don't have to hit the exact same inflection. How dare you? I have many different acting styles. Tracy?

1:00:19 Caller Yes?

1:00:20 Adam What's going on with your world in the oyster?

1:00:23 Caller Quite a bit. I'm 24 years old. I was diagnosed with lupus when I was 15.

1:00:30 Adam Oh, man.

1:00:30 Caller And I spent 6 months in the hospital, 4 and a half, in intensive care. Are you okay? I'm okay now. In 1997, I went into renal failure and I've been on dialysis since then.

1:00:45 Adam What's that lupus do to you, Drew?

1:00:47 Drew Kidney failure. We talked about it the other night. Did they put you on Cytoxan or any of those heavy-duty stuff? Did you lose your fertility because of that?

1:00:55 Caller I don't know. I haven't had it checked. Before I started dialysis, I was still menstruating, but in the past year, that has stopped.

1:01:06 Caller Sure.

1:01:07 Drew You're doing it three times a week? Hemodialysis.

1:01:09 Caller I do. Peritoneal dialysis.

1:01:11 Drew Peritoneal dialysis.

1:01:12 Adam Good times.

1:01:13 Drew You know what that is?

1:01:15 Caller Yeah.

1:01:16 Adam It's different. You don't hook you up to the machine and do it at home.

1:01:19 Drew What do you do? I do... I'm going to show you. Hang on. I'll tell Adam what you do.

1:01:24 Caller Well...

1:01:24 Drew You have a spigot in your belly.

1:01:26 Caller Yeah.

1:01:26 Adam You have that spigot in your belly.

1:01:27 Drew You pour fluids into it.

1:01:29 Adam Yeah. You have a radiator cap where your belly button was. Dump that right in.

1:01:35 Caller All right.

1:01:35 Adam Good.

1:01:36 Caller Well, I do mine at night, so I actually don't have to do anything during the day. I do actually hook up to a machine at night that does the draining and filling for me.

1:01:47 Adam Okay. I say it's good that you're alive now.

1:01:50 Caller Yeah. They didn't expect me to live.

1:01:53 Drew Are you being considered for transplant?

1:01:55 Caller My mom is actually going to give me a transplant.

1:01:57 Drew Fabulous.

1:01:58 Adam Is she going to do it herself or donate one?

1:02:00 Caller She's going to donate.

1:02:01 Adam I see. I was confused. Now, when I say alive now, I don't mean you're lucky to be alive. I mean, in this time period.

1:02:07 Drew When it's going to be done.

1:02:08 Caller Yeah.

1:02:09 Adam You'd just be screwed 50 years ago, right?

1:02:12 Caller Oh, well, I'm lucky in both senses because the doctors told my parents that I wouldn't live, so...

1:02:18 Adam Why do they do that? Make that proclamation.

1:02:20 Drew Well, you prepare people.

1:02:23 Adam All right.

1:02:23 Caller But since I've been on dialysis, I've been with my fiancé almost five years, and when we first got together, we didn't have sex for about nine months, but when we did, we had very healthy, active sexual life.

1:02:37 Adam All right.

1:02:38 Caller But then...

1:02:39 Adam He didn't get you in that spigot, did he?

1:02:41 Drew No, no.

1:02:41 Adam No. You can't do that?

1:02:43 Caller Right. Slowly, over time, my sexual appetite has totally diminished. I mean, now it's like nothing.

1:02:50 Drew Why don't you see an endocrinologist? Because, obviously, a lot of things can change when you're on dialysis.

1:02:55 Caller Yeah.

1:02:55 Drew And you could have ovarian failure. Well, she has had these medications that can screw with her ovarian function. Ovarian function can be screwed up from the dialysis. She can have premature ovarian failure just from the loop. I mean, there's lots of things that can go on with her endocrine function.

1:03:08 Adam So now, your kidneys, are they process all the fluid that comes into you?

1:03:14 Drew Part of it. Fluid, acid, base.

1:03:16 Adam And they're not processing that, so you must go on dialysis, which is essentially a re- Filters and replaces and puts the fluid back in you?

1:03:26 Drew No.

1:03:26 Adam Do you drink?

1:03:28 Drew Yeah, yeah. Yes, yes. It's not about water. It's about the metabolic balance. It's about salt, about sodium, chloride, potassium.

1:03:36 Adam Is that what's in the fluid that's in the dialysis?

1:03:39 Drew The fluid basically use your peritoneum, the lining of your abdomen as a osmotic membrane. The fluids are adjusted in such a way as to pull things out of this membrane in your abdomen, about the membranes in your abdomen.

1:03:55 Adam Does dialysis take fluid though? To add stuff to that?

1:03:59 Drew Yeah, it takes fluid out too.

1:04:01 Adam If you're on dialysis, do you drink as much fluid as a normal person?

1:04:05 Drew You would, but they tend to try to restrict a little bit.

1:04:07 Adam Because they're putting stuff in you?

1:04:08 Drew Yeah. Well, because you can't automatically get it off.

1:04:12 Adam What do you eat? Can you eat everything?

1:04:14 Drew You have to watch salt and potassium as we talk.

1:04:15 Adam What about going to the bathroom?

1:04:17 Drew Crabbing?

1:04:18 Adam Number one and number two.

1:04:20 Drew Some people still do a little number one.

1:04:22 Adam Oh, really?

1:04:22 Drew Number two is as usual.

1:04:24 Adam Number two is usual? I'm number two all the time, by the way.

1:04:28 Drew I'm so proud.

1:04:30 Adam Almost exclusively in the same town, by the way.

1:04:32 Drew You deserve the same kind of kudos that Tracy does for being on peritoneal dialysis. Yeah, it's similar.

1:04:38 Adam Okay, so she should talk to her endocrinologist.

1:04:41 Drew She should get an endocrinologist. She really should.

1:04:43 Adam Scott?

1:04:44 Caller Yeah?

1:04:44 Adam Stoner Scott, you're seventeen.

1:04:46 Caller Yeah.

1:04:46 Adam What's up?

1:04:47 Caller What's up?

1:04:48 Caller Yeah.

1:04:50 Caller Yeah. I'm like, my girlfriend, she's been giving me oral sex or maltherapies.

1:04:56 I was wondering if there's any way of me contracting that.

1:04:58 Drew Uh, oh yes. That's how it gets down there.

1:05:01 Adam You smoke a lot of weed?

1:05:03 Caller No.

1:05:03 Drew Oh, come on.

1:05:04 Caller Scott?

1:05:04 Adam Really?

1:05:05 Drew No.

1:05:06 Adam A fair amount of weed?

1:05:08 Caller Every once in a while.

1:05:09 Drew There we go.

1:05:09 Adam Yeah. Monday through Saturday?

1:05:13 Caller Three days a week.

1:05:15 Drew Yeah, yeah, okay. There we go.

1:05:17 Adam Well, who are you kidding with? I don't smoke weed, Brad. Jesus Christ. Wow.

1:05:23 Drew Oh, man, there's the laugh.

1:05:26 Adam You smoke like a bale of weed every week, don't you?

1:05:30 Caller No.

1:05:31 Drew Half bale.

1:05:32 Adam It's very noticeable.

1:05:34 Caller Really?

1:05:34 Caller Yeah. All right.

1:05:38 Adam Easy on that weed, brother.

1:05:41 Caller Okay.

1:05:41 Adam Screws you up.

1:05:44 Drew Maybe just hide an eye.

1:05:46 Caller Yeah.

1:05:46 Drew Anyway, Ace, you can get it from the mouth to the penis, the mouth to the vagina. That's how that happens. Happens all the time.

1:05:52 Caller All right.

1:05:52 Adam So what should he do?

1:05:53 Drew Don't let her give you head when you have, when she's having an outbreak.

1:05:57 Caller All right.

1:05:57 Drew And if I have that voice.

1:05:59 Adam Well, and if you guys share a bong, she could get it off that.

1:06:04 Caller She's got it?

1:06:05 Caller Yeah.

1:06:05 Drew Yeah. Go from her mouth to your mouth.

1:06:06 Caller Sure.

1:06:07 Adam There you go, buddy.

1:06:08 Caller All right.

1:06:09 Adam You got to get a bong liner.

1:06:11 Caller All right.

1:06:11 Adam Oh, that's my, that's my invention for a week. Bong liners, just like what they have at the airport bathroom, except for the top of a bong. Pull that little paper thing off, put it right on the bong.

1:06:24 Drew How about a bong dam?

1:06:27 Adam Yeah. Yeah, bong liners, I think people can identify with that.

1:06:31 Drew Bongo dam? No.

1:06:33 Adam Let me tell you the problem with the bong, Drew. Sometimes you get a little, you get a little resin in the bowl there, right? In the tube.

1:06:42 Drew Isn't that a good thing?

1:06:43 Adam Well, it's a good thing when you're out of weed and you've got to scrape something. Right. It's a bad thing when you got weed and you're trying to suck it up a bong. So you get some guy and he's sucking like a mother f***er because the thing's a little bit clogged. While he's sucking so hard, he's sucking a little, he's sucking so hard, he's getting little splashes of water, he's getting all those bubbles, you know, and they're splashing up around the rim and stuff and then he hands you the bong and you put your mouth on it and you don't know if that's saliva or semen. You don't know what. All you know is it came, you think it came from someone. Best case scenario, bong water. And that's a bad deal when the best case scenario for liquid is bong water. But that's when all the stars have aligned, it's only bong water you're grabbing on to.

1:07:29 Drew Where did the term, where the name bong come from? Think about that. Is that an eponym for something or?

1:07:35 Adam Good question.

1:07:36 Drew I mean, some hippie in San Francisco said dude. It sounds like a big bong thing over there.

1:07:44 Caller Right.

1:07:46 Drew How did it stick? How did that stick?

1:07:48 Adam Well, let's think.

1:07:49 Drew Maybe it will be reinvented.

1:07:51 Adam Roach looks like a roach.

1:07:52 Drew New name.

1:07:53 Adam Pipe is obviously a pipe.

1:07:55 Drew Clip.

1:07:56 Adam Yeah. Trying to think a bowl is a bowl. Yeah. Let's see if we can find the origins of bong.

1:08:02 Drew Pipe was a pipe like originally, wasn't it?

1:08:05 Adam Well, it's the same pipe you'd use to smoke tobacco out of.

1:08:08 Drew I mean, that makes sense. Cylinders be.

1:08:11 Adam What big cylinder?

1:08:12 Drew That's what bongs are made out of, right? Those big...

1:08:15 Adam Don't play stupid. You know what bongs are made of.

1:08:18 Drew Sluiceite?

1:08:19 Adam Well, what are you asking?

1:08:22 Drew Would that thing have a name if it stood by itself before it turned into a bong?

1:08:25 Adam No. I don't know. Someone call in and tell us why bong is called a bong. Megan?

1:08:31 Caller Yeah.

1:08:31 Adam You're 16?

1:08:32 Caller Yeah.

1:08:33 Adam What's up?

1:08:34 Caller Well, first I wanted to say, Travis is the name of Blink 182's drummer.

1:08:39 Adam Oh, yeah. That's right. Travis. I forgot about that.

1:08:41 Caller And I've been homeschooled my entire life and I've never known anyone as stupid or as messed up as Christina.

1:08:49 Adam Our first caller?

1:08:50 Caller Yeah. And the rest of the homeschooled callers.

1:08:54 Caller How do you guys get?

1:08:55 Adam But not you.

1:08:57 Caller Well, I think I've had a pretty decent lifestyle.

1:09:00 Drew Except what are you calling about?

1:09:02 Caller Well, okay. My boyfriend is 17 and he recently confessed to me that he was molested when he was about five. And he didn't even remember this until about a year ago. He thinks he just blocked it out of his memory. And it was by his babysitter's son. And he thinks he was about 12 or so.

1:09:23 Caller Yeah.

1:09:25 Caller And I don't know exactly how to deal with this because there's been a couple of episodes where he's been thinking about it and he's kind of had emotional breakdowns. And I've dealt with it. But I'm trying to convince him that he needs to get some therapy.

1:09:41 Drew Yeah. That's all you can make. And that is all you can do. You cannot fix him. You can be available. You can listen, but don't don't spend a lot of time giving him advice or, you know, rationalizing and talking about me. Just listen and be available and just say, look, you know, how much is it going to take? How much suffering you have to go through before you get to some of the camera?

1:09:59 Adam How old is your boyfriend?

1:10:01 Caller He's 17.

1:10:02 Adam Where did you meet him? Home school mixer?

1:10:06 Caller Actually, to keep in shape, I go running with my dog and he had been kind of flirting with me and one day he pulled over and asked for my number.

1:10:13 Drew He was driving alongside you?

1:10:16 Caller Yeah, he had been driving, like, you know, he'd been waving and smiling at me and stuff. And I already knew who he was because my brother used to give him piano lessons. So I live in a really small town.

1:10:29 Adam No kidding. Maybe your brother molested him.

1:10:31 Caller No, no.

1:10:33 Adam Piano or cider jug?

1:10:36 Caller Piano.

1:10:37 Adam Okay. And why are you home schooled?

1:10:40 Caller Well, my parents are not at all happy with the way schools are today. Drugs and guns and things like that are getting worse. And they think that public schools basically try to brainwash kids. And they don't like books like Heather has two mommies and things like that. They get really upset about that.

1:10:59 Adam I see.

1:11:00 Caller Yeah.

1:11:02 Adam And so, now do they have money?

1:11:07 Caller Yeah.

1:11:07 Adam Why don't they just send you to a good private school?

1:11:10 Caller They considered that too. But they had home schooled my brother when it became fairly new. And it had worked pretty well and he enjoyed it. And they told me that if I wanted to transfer to a public or private school that I could when I was in about sixth grade. But I decided to go through high school, home school.

1:11:29 Adam And what's the home school regimen? What time do you get up in the morning?

1:11:35 Caller I usually get up about nine.

1:11:38 Adam And do you have to take a bus to the living room? There's nothing to catch.

1:11:42 Caller I just sit in my bed and do it.

1:11:45 Adam You just sit home and do it. You're in your pajamas, right? No, no. Your TV's on. You sit in bed, you said.

1:11:51 Caller Yeah. Well, I like get up and I do all. I do.

1:11:54 Drew All right.

1:11:55 Adam Hold on a second. Let me let me attack home school for my final time this evening. Here's the thing about school. I didn't learn anything in school.

1:12:03 Drew Except how to get up, get dressed, get a good dress, drag your butt off to a classroom at eight o'clock in the morning.

1:12:08 Adam That was iffy. But the only thing I learned in school was that something started at a certain time that I had to be dressed and sitting in a certain place at a certain time. Otherwise, I would be disciplined in some way. And then a bell went off and I got up and went somewhere else. That's really about 80% of schooling for most people in the public school system. The problem with homeschooling is you get up, you beat off, and then you lie in bed and take a glance down at your algebra book. That's not really life, is it? I mean, is there a gig that affords you that? Maybe if you're going to be like a telepsychic or something. But it's hard to hold down a job that way, isn't it? Megan?

1:12:55 Caller Yeah?

1:12:56 Adam I don't trust this homeschooling.

1:12:57 Drew So when will the teacher come?

1:13:00 Caller I don't have a teacher. The course that I take is pretty independent. And it's really good and it's one of the best in the United States.

1:13:11 Drew That's pretty amazing to give kids that kind of discipline. They just get up on their own and start working. Imagine that.

1:13:16 Adam She says nine o'clock. That means nine.

1:13:18 Drew How many hours do you work for?

1:13:20 Caller It depends on how much I can get done. Like in two hours, I can get about four lessons done. And very.

1:13:29 Adam All right. Are you going to go off to college?

1:13:31 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:13:31 Adam OK. All right. Well, listen, tell your boyfriend he's got to get himself a little therapy for what went on. OK?

1:13:39 Caller OK.

1:13:39 Adam All right. And you keep hittin those books. And the good news is she's president of the French Club and captain of the Speech and Debate Committee.

1:13:50 Drew You're on the chess team.

1:13:51 Adam And head cheerleader. Yeah. When you're homeschooled, you get to be head everything, don't you?

1:13:58 Drew Good for the softball team.

1:14:00 Caller Yeah.

1:14:04 Adam Drew, how do you think homeschooling would have worked for you?

1:14:06 Drew Not.

1:14:07 Adam You couldn't wait to get out of that horrible house you grew up in, could you?

1:14:12 Drew That's it.

1:14:15 Adam There really would have been a disaster, right?

1:14:18 Drew Yeah.

1:14:18 Caller It would have been awful. Yeah.

1:14:20 Adam You would have had a Columbine type event happen in your homeschooling.

1:14:23 Drew In my homeschooling, yeah.

1:14:24 Adam Right. Sitting home with your dad talking about the value of a dog. Your mom waxing off about doing some Busby Burghley movie in 1944. You would have killed yourself, right?

1:14:41 Drew I needed my friends.

1:14:42 Adam Yeah.

1:14:43 Drew Don't we all though? That's the whole thing. Yes. Everyone. You need connection. I don't know how Megan sounds awfully good.

1:14:50 Adam Let me say one more thing before we go to break. We talk about this all the time. We talk about proximity and friends.

1:14:56 Drew Yeah.

1:14:57 Adam We talk about how magically the guy who grows up next door to you is your best friend and the girl who sits behind you in history you're in love with and I tell them it's all about proximity. Think about that as it relates to family for a second. I mean, your mom's your mom, your dad's your dad, your brother's your brother and your grandparents your grandparents and you love them but then you get a little older and just like that dude you grew up, Max Truex, my neighbor, I grew up, I thought was my best friend. I haven't talked to a guy in 30 years.

1:15:31 Caller Why?

1:15:32 Adam Turns out he lived next door. That's why me and Max were best buddies. Not because we had anything in common, not because we're the same kind of people, had the same ideologies, sad thing is you get hip to that with your family eventually. They're like your next door neighbors living in your house. Oh, think about that. We'll be back.

1:16:08 Caller You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio. Yeah, everybody on the floor, this is Ice-T. You're listening to Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Nobody moves, nobody gets hurt.

1:16:30 Adam Hey, Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew over there. Blink 182 tomorrow night. And now, it's time to get back to the phones. Speak to Brian, who's 15. Brian? Oh, hi, Adam. Hey, Brian.

1:16:45 Caller Hi, Drew.

1:16:45 Drew Hey, Brian.

1:16:46 Caller I just wanted to say that you don't earn enough credit for doing what you do every day, every night.

1:16:52 Drew Either of us?

1:16:53 Caller Yeah.

1:16:54 Adam Thanks.

1:16:54 Caller You guys take, like, a lot of crap from crazy teenagers or whatever.

1:16:59 Drew No, we don't.

1:16:59 Adam We don't take too much.

1:17:00 Drew No, we're all right.

1:17:01 Caller We're fine. Yeah, well, I have a question about a guy that I like. All right. I'm not sure how to confront him about it because I'm not sure whether he's gay or not.

1:17:12 Drew How old are you?

1:17:13 Caller I'm 15.

1:17:14 Drew And how do you think this would go if he's not gay and you sort of dropped a few hands? Would that be okay? Do people know you're gay? Is it would be a surprise to him?

1:17:27 Caller I think it would be a surprise to him because, you know.

1:17:29 Drew Is he a good friend?

1:17:31 Caller No, I just met him this year.

1:17:33 Adam He goes to your school?

1:17:34 Caller Yeah.

1:17:35 Drew Why don't you first start out with just talking about who you are? You know what I mean? Just talk about the fact that you are gay and then just expose a little bit about yourself and see how he reacts.

1:17:43 Adam You ever been with a guy?

1:17:45 Caller No.

1:17:46 Adam So the behind man is still intact?

1:17:48 Caller Yeah.

1:17:48 Drew Do you have a supportive network of other young males who have been through this?

1:17:52 Caller No, I don't know any other.

1:17:53 Drew Yeah, that would be a good thing for you to have. Because first of all, for heterosexuals to advise, you're sort of ill-conceived. What are you talking about? I know you're a genius, you're a genius, you know everything.

1:18:04 Adam You know the gays, too.

1:18:05 Drew But it would be nice to...

1:18:06 Adam I would be leader of the gays if I wanted to take the time to do it. Head gay, they would call me. Your gayness or your anus, perhaps, is how I would be referred to by my subjects. Hey, Bryan. How do you know you're gay?

1:18:22 Caller Well, I like guys.

1:18:23 Adam All right, let me write that down.

1:18:26 Caller You watch... If I ever did have a relationship with a girl, nothing much would happen.

1:18:31 Adam I see. Do you masturbate? You look at gay erotica?

1:18:37 Caller No.

1:18:38 Adam What do you look at?

1:18:39 Caller I, um... I don't know. Just thoughts in my head, I guess.

1:18:43 Adam Oh, still at that stage. Back in the Stone Age.

1:18:47 Caller Sorry, Adam.

1:18:48 Adam Yeah.

1:18:50 Caller Yeah, you know...

1:18:50 Drew Adam gets very offended very easily, Bryan. I apologize.

1:18:53 Adam You know what the early settlers who came to this country had when they came over on the boat?

1:18:57 Caller Their imagination.

1:18:58 Adam Thoughts in their head.

1:18:59 Caller Oh.

1:19:00 Adam Yeah. We've outgrown the thoughts in the head. It's time to use the VCR. That's what you should be thinking about. Do your parents know you're gay?

1:19:08 Caller No. They're kind of religious.

1:19:10 Adam No?

1:19:11 Caller Oh boy.

1:19:12 Adam What a coincidence. How's dad?

1:19:15 Caller He doesn't live with me.

1:19:16 Caller Uh-huh.

1:19:17 Adam Mom's pretty religious?

1:19:19 Caller Yeah.

1:19:19 Adam Is it going to freak her out?

1:19:21 Caller Yeah. Because she's like, like you would say, the offensive parent. Yeah. She's always a controlling mom.

1:19:28 Adam I'll tell you, wait for a good religious holiday to drop the bomb. Maybe Easter. Good Friday, something like that.

1:19:36 Caller Where she crucifies me or something.

1:19:37 Adam Yeah. Are you planning on telling her?

1:19:39 Caller Uh, no. Good.

1:19:41 Adam Very healthy impulse.

1:19:43 Caller I thought it'd be better if like, maybe when I moved out or something.

1:19:46 Adam There you go. Very good.

1:19:48 Drew Good man.

1:19:48 Adam Let me try to figure out whether this guy's gay. What is he into?

1:19:52 Caller Um, what do you mean?

1:19:54 Adam What kind of music does he listen to?

1:19:57 Caller I think rap.

1:19:59 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:20:00 Adam Does he play sports?

1:20:02 Caller Uh, yeah.

1:20:02 Caller Uh-oh.

1:20:03 Adam What, what sport?

1:20:04 Caller Uh, football, I think.

1:20:06 Adam Oh, that may not be gay. What, uh, does he drive?

1:20:10 Caller Uh, I'm not sure. I think he does.

1:20:12 Drew What position is he on the football team?

1:20:14 Caller Hmm?

1:20:14 Drew What position is he on the football team?

1:20:16 Caller I'm not sure.

1:20:17 Adam Does, does he, uh, how does he dress?

1:20:21 Caller He, uh, hmm. Sometimes Hawaiian shorts. Hawaiian shorts. Yeah.

1:20:27 Adam Yeah, I don't know.

1:20:29 Drew How did you meet him?

1:20:30 Caller Huh?

1:20:30 Drew How did you meet him?

1:20:31 Caller Um, through a class.

1:20:33 Drew Class. And you're buddies now, huh? You're friends.

1:20:36 Caller Yeah, pretty much, yeah.

1:20:37 Drew Yeah, why don't you just get a little more personal with him and talk about who you are and what you're up to. Hey, what if he's a friend?

1:20:42 Caller Yeah.

1:20:43 Drew Just see if he has to. You know, if he's somehow repelled by that or scared of it or something, you know he's not gay and that he might lose a friendship, but at least you sort of tested the water a little bit. And I would suggest you work very hard on getting a group of male homosexual friends who are a couple of years older than you, who can sort of help you, support you as you go through these kinds of...

1:21:02 Adam Rape you, things like that.

1:21:03 Drew No, no, no, no, no.

1:21:04 Adam You get some old males around a young virgin gay guy that's going to be trouble, Drew.

1:21:08 Drew Two years older. I'm talking about 40 years.

1:21:10 Adam Even more, even more trouble. And look, imagine the fear and trepidation that was in your heart when you tried to ask a girl out at 15, even though you knew she was heterosexual, you just had to figure out whether she liked you or not. Imagine if you didn't even know their sexual proclivity.

1:21:27 Drew Yeah, awful.

1:21:28 Adam Oh, it could be screwed. It was a guy. James?

1:21:31 Caller Yes, sir.

1:21:32 Adam You're 24. You claim to know the origin of the word bong.

1:21:36 Caller Yes, I do. I have my Encarta dictionary right here. First dictionary for, I mean, excuse me, the first definition here. A bong is a deep resonant sound, especially from a bell. Now, would you say that a bong is, or that a bong is like a shape of like a bell kind of?

1:21:57 Drew No, bong would be like bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, that's what they're talking about, bong.

1:22:01 Adam Yeah, they're talking about bong like gong.

1:22:03 Drew Yeah, like...

1:22:04 Adam It's named gong.

1:22:05 Drew Gong makes a bong sound when you hit it.

1:22:07 Adam Okay. Yeah. I like that gong instrument, which is named gong, because it's like calling a trumpet, a toot.

1:22:16 Drew A toot.

1:22:17 Caller Yeah, a toot.

1:22:19 Adam How creative was that gong?

1:22:22 Caller Hey, Adam, I have a little surprise for you.

1:22:25 Adam I will keep going, will you?

1:22:27 Caller Okay. Well, here, listen to this. This is probably your favorite sound of the world. That's what I got from you last night.

1:22:32 Adam Okay.

1:22:34 Caller No.

1:22:35 Caller No.

1:22:37 Adam That is so painful.

1:22:38 Caller I know.

1:22:39 Caller I'm sorry. I had to do it... I figured Anderson could put it on a card or something, you know?

1:22:45 Adam No. He's not that... He's nowhere near that motivated or that talented.

1:22:50 Caller Okay.

1:22:52 Adam Oh, that sound too. I'm suing everybody. All right. So, James, you have nothing but a noise for us.

1:22:59 Caller Pretty much.

1:23:00 Adam I'm bored. Okay. All right, buddy. Keep listening.

1:23:02 Caller Thanks for putting me on the air for free.

1:23:04 Adam You're calling from Santa Barbara. Did you move there?

1:23:07 Caller Yes, I did. I moved here back in 1998 from a little BS town called Napoma.

1:23:14 Adam So you thought you were going to go to college or what?

1:23:17 Caller No.

1:23:18 Adam You'll never get out of that Santa Barbara.

1:23:20 Caller I know.

1:23:21 Adam You understand? They had to call that place heroin. They never leave. You go there, you take off your dockers, you put on a pair of sweatpants and some thongs, you start walking around the beach and you never leave. You start smoking weed, looking up bong. That's it.

1:23:36 Caller No motivation but so are you.

1:23:37 Adam That's fine. Enjoy. Yeah.

1:23:39 Caller Thanks.

1:23:39 Adam Sure.

1:23:40 Caller Good times.

1:23:41 Adam Listen, the joke's on all of us over here in LA in the rat race. Trying to scrape to get a nut. These guys are in Santa Barbara enjoying their lives. I have a bunch of friends who went to school there. They never get out. They end up working at a head shop. Or a bike shop. Parents drop 150 grand on education so they can repair bonds. Amber? Uh-oh.

1:24:05 Drew Oh, no.

1:24:06 Adam Could be in for a lightning round. That's a good point, Anderson, lightning round. What's up, Anderson? I mean, Amber?

1:24:14 Caller I was just wondering what would be the best way to tell my mom that I'm bisexual.

1:24:18 Drew Yeah, you're 17. Why is it that the last caller had a good impulse about telling the parents when he left home? If you were heterosexual, would you stand up at dinner table and announce that you're heterosexual? Or if you just had sex with a male, would you stand up and announce that? Yeah, so why do you need to tell her what your private proclivities are?

1:24:37 Caller Because she kind of likes, you know, like my sister is lesbian and she knows that, but I'm afraid to tell my mom.

1:24:48 Adam What's going on in the family? Where's dad?

1:24:50 Caller Dad is in Seattle.

1:24:52 Adam Uh-huh. He abandoned the family?

1:24:54 Caller No, they just... My mom and my dad split up when I was about two.

1:25:00 Adam And do you see him?

1:25:01 Caller Yeah, I see him every other weekend. I go to his house.

1:25:04 Drew Every other weekend? You go... Oh, you're watching State.

1:25:07 Adam And, uh, ever molested?

1:25:11 Caller No.

1:25:11 Adam No. But yet, your sister is lesbian?

1:25:15 Caller Yeah.

1:25:15 Adam How old is she?

1:25:16 Caller She's 17 also.

1:25:18 Adam How's your mom doing with her?

1:25:20 Caller She's kind of standoffish.

1:25:22 Adam Wait, are you guys twins?

1:25:24 Caller No, she's my step-sister.

1:25:25 Adam I see. Well, your mom doesn't care too much because, you know, step-sister. She was all right with that one, right?

1:25:34 Caller Yeah.

1:25:34 Caller Yeah. How long?

1:25:36 Adam You know, having a step-kid's great because it's like, it's kind of your kid, but kind of not. It's kind of like a rent-a-car. You don't want to see the thing get totaled, but if the training blows out, who cares? Step-kid. And your parents, your stepdad, your mom have been together for how long?

1:25:54 Caller Ten years.

1:25:55 Adam Okay. And it's just coincidence that both you are lesbian or you're bisexual or have you been with a woman?

1:26:03 Drew You're lesbian.

1:26:04 Caller Yeah.

1:26:04 Adam You have. You enjoy that?

1:26:06 Caller Yes, a lot.

1:26:07 Adam And you enjoy men, too?

1:26:09 Caller Yes, a whole lot.

1:26:10 Adam Oh, a whole lot. And which one do you enjoy more?

1:26:13 Caller Well, I like females better.

1:26:16 Caller Mm-hmm. Uh-huh.

1:26:18 Adam Why don't you just declare a major and call yourself lesbian?

1:26:21 Caller Because I also like the other one.

1:26:25 Drew Were your stepdads sort of a rageful guy?

1:26:27 Caller Huh?

1:26:27 Drew Were your stepdads sort of a rageful guy?

1:26:29 Caller Well, kind of. He gets mean a lot.

1:26:31 Drew That's what I get here.

1:26:33 Adam Yeah. Stepdad's kind of the through line here.

1:26:35 Caller Yeah.

1:26:37 Adam And is your, is your sister, your step-sister, she sort of chaotic?

1:26:43 Caller No.

1:26:44 Adam No? Everything's going good for her?

1:26:45 Caller Yeah.

1:26:46 Adam Getting good grades, going off to college somewhere?

1:26:48 Caller Yeah.

1:26:49 Adam Doesn't have the black nail polish and a bone through her nose?

1:26:52 Caller No.

1:26:53 Adam Just likes the ladies, huh?

1:26:56 Caller Yeah. She's just like, like if you didn't know her, you'd think she was just a normal person, isn't it?

1:27:01 Adam What about you two? You ever have a go at each other?

1:27:04 Caller No.

1:27:05 Adam Really?

1:27:05 Caller That would be dirty.

1:27:08 Adam Really? But why not? I mean, you're both into the ladies.

1:27:13 Caller Well, because I have my girlfriends and she has hers.

1:27:15 Adam I see.

1:27:16 Drew They're siblings.

1:27:17 Adam Something healthy about that. Tell you, a couple of gay guys couldn't hold off. Under the same roof, same age, forget it, no blood, no way. Turn that place into a bathhouse in a second's flat. All right. Hey, how about you do this? Are you going to go off to college?

1:27:34 Caller Yeah.

1:27:35 Adam Okay. Where are you going to college?

1:27:37 Caller I'm going to go to Washington State.

1:27:40 Adam Okay. So, wait till you go off to college. Will you move away from home?

1:27:45 Caller Yeah.

1:27:45 Adam Okay. Move out and then you drop the bomb. In that way, if there's any repercussions, you're fine.

1:27:51 Drew Yeah. You don't tell her where you're living.

1:27:52 Caller Okay.

1:27:54 Adam Yeah. Well, they could make things hard on you.

1:27:56 Drew Why is that so?

1:27:57 Adam You really need them for your senior year to know you're blowing guys and going down on chicks.

1:28:02 Drew Yeah. Why is that?

1:28:03 Adam How important is that?

1:28:06 Caller Well, it helps them to understand that they...

1:28:09 Drew Look, she's going to freak out when you get anyone near that topic with her, right?

1:28:13 Adam You angry at your mom?

1:28:15 Caller Well, no.

1:28:15 Adam You love your mom?

1:28:17 Caller Yeah.

1:28:17 Adam Good woman?

1:28:18 Caller Yeah.

1:28:19 Adam Doesn't drink?

1:28:20 Caller No.

1:28:21 Adam Into the weed?

1:28:22 Drew No.

1:28:22 Adam Ever hit you?

1:28:24 Caller Yes.

1:28:24 Caller Uh-oh.

1:28:26 Adam Payback time, mama.

1:28:27 Drew Yeah, here it is. Bring my stepdad in, too.

1:28:31 Caller She's nice though.

1:28:32 Adam You beat my ass and this is what you get. No kids. No grandkids.

1:28:36 Caller Hope you had fun.

1:28:38 Caller I was taking nude pictures in my room one time. She got mad at me.

1:28:41 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:28:42 Caller And she's like, What are you doing?

1:28:43 Caller Are you funny friends? I'm like, Whatever, mom. You know, you're crazy.

1:28:46 Adam I see. All right. So you're angry at your mom.

1:28:48 Drew There we go.

1:28:49 Adam You're pretty angry at your mom.

1:28:51 Drew I'm really angry, Amber. All right. We're not going to let you just be out there. Listen. Our desire is not for you to gratify that anger.

1:28:58 Adam When you tell your mom you're a lesbian or bi, you'll not feel any better. You'll be more angry, surprisingly enough. What a shocking revelation. A youngster is called to show who wants to come out to his parents is angry at his parents. Listen, do not screw with your daughters. Boy, if I learned this from this doing this show, it will be, or if you are going to screw with your daughters, really savor it, because it's going to be payback time. And women live longer than men. Mom will be 85, daughter will be 63 and still be paying you back. It'll just keep going. Dad will be ten years in the grave. He'll have been boozing so hard he'll forget all about it. All right, what are we doing, lightning round?

1:29:41 Caller Yep.

1:29:42 Adam Big lightning round after this.

1:29:45 Caller Hello?

1:29:47 Call 1-800-LOVELINE-1. Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back.

1:30:52 Adam We're gonna have to close it. Wait a minute, let's check the time real fast. It's 1149 and 55 seconds. That's 10 minutes and five seconds away from the top of the hour, the witchy hour, 12 minutes. Right there, lool, lool, lool. Having a good part over there. Dr. Drew, hot, hot, hot. And the good boys from Blink gonna be coming in here, rocking the houses. Blink, what are they doing to you? Not 181 like they were last year.

1:31:14 Caller 182 this year.

1:31:16 Adam They're coming in here to rock the house tomorrow night. That's gonna be a good time.

1:31:19 They're hot, hot, hot.

1:31:20 Adam David, 32, I don't know what's going on there, but I'm gonna be helping you with that.

1:31:25 Caller Hello?

1:31:25 Adam David, how are you?

1:31:26 Drew David, what's going on?

1:31:27 Adam Ace Rockolla, everybody, what's going on?

1:31:29 Drew David, go.

1:31:30 Adam Yeah, I can talk to you, buddy.

1:31:31 Caller David, are you talking to me?

1:31:33 Caller Everybody, everybody, what's going on?

1:31:35 Caller I'm trying to answer his question about what a bong is.

1:31:37 Adam What is a bong? I don't know, I'm no stranger to it myself.

1:31:40 Caller Like a little weed, everyone's a wild.

1:31:42 Drew All right, what is it?

1:31:45 Caller It's actually from Bung, and he's going to love this. There are two definitions. One is from Bung as in Bung Hole, because it resembles a barrel.

1:31:54 Drew Nice.

1:31:54 Caller And the second is a bundle of hemp stalks, which is an archaic usage, but the term is very old.

1:32:00 Drew Where did that come from?

1:32:01 Adam Hold on, hold on, Drew, let me check time real fast. It's 11.51 in five seconds. That's eight minutes and 55 seconds away from the time of the hour. So, I was right there in the middle of the line of the line, but I was saying, I'm in the middle of the line. Ace Rockolla, Dr. Drew, how did it go?

1:32:14 Caller Yes, Dr. Drew, I'm trying to answer your question.

1:32:17 Adam It's all the lines, you're on the Love Line.

1:32:18 Drew Where did it come from, David? Where was it like, you know, who it's attributed to or what part of the country?

1:32:22 Caller Sure, well, I'm reading out of an OED.

1:32:25 Drew What's an OED?

1:32:26 Caller I'm sorry, Oxford English Dictionary.

1:32:30 Adam Go ahead, David, go ahead, everybody.

1:32:34 Caller Yeah, I mean, what, 1571, it was in something called Digger's Pantoon. I mean, who cares? But the other one is originally was a nautical term to describe the thing that plugged the hole in a barrel.

1:32:48 Adam As you say. Hi there, David. Thanks a lot. I got a windbreaker. Let's check the time real fast.

1:32:53 Caller I almost rung my coffee mug like it was a cowbell. What do you say?

1:32:56 Adam That would have been a mess.

1:32:57 Caller I have a little bounty moment for you.

1:33:00 Adam Let's check the time real fast. 1152 straight up. Eight minutes away from the top of the hour. They're with you now. And you're smack dab in the middle of the fast eight and a half minutes radio. Lighting around. There, Ace Rockolla is part of there. Dr. Drew. Hot, hot, hot. 22 coming in tomorrow night. Hot, hot, hot. And let's hop back on the phones and talk to you, Lisa. What's going on there for yourself? What's going on?

1:33:19 Caller Maybe, yeah, I have a question for Dr. Drew. Six months pregnant.

1:33:23 Adam Thanks, my little, little bun, little bun in the oven.

1:33:29 Caller I want to know the difference between discipline and abuse because I talk about abuse all the time with these.

1:33:35 Adam Yeah.

1:33:36 Drew Abuse is where you, abuse is where you do anything that is exploitative or non-respectful of the separate wholeness of the other individual. You would never go up to another adult and spack them because they didn't do what you wanted them to do.

1:33:49 Adam You're not, you're not.

1:33:50 Caller They think that if you're disciplining them, they know their future and they're called abuse.

1:33:55 Drew Discipline is...

1:33:56 Adam You have kids there, right?

1:33:58 Caller No, I have step-children.

1:34:02 Drew Discipline is deciding what you want them to do. To the extent that they do not comply, you create consequences. Typically, the most powerful shaper of behavior is withdrawing things that they like. Wage toys, taking away privileges.

1:34:14 Adam Let me tell the difference between... But at least, this is where I'm going to learn a call out with David. Now, hold on a second, my baby. Let me tell you something about discipline. Discipline is when you tell that six-month fetus, hey, quit kicking. Abuse is when you shock yourself in the gut.

1:34:28 Caller All right, sweetheart?

1:34:29 Adam That's the definition.

1:34:30 Caller Thank you very much.

1:34:30 Adam I don't believe in child abuse. I'm going to say that right now and the jury's still out on rave.

1:34:34 Caller Let me check time real fast.

1:34:35 Adam It's 1153 in 35 seconds. That's six minutes and 25 seconds away from the way of the hour straight away. This time, there was one call over here.

1:34:42 Caller Come on, Drew, I'm going to power through.

1:34:44 Caller It's hot, hot, hot. Blink one, eight, two, number one, nine, number two, number three, number four, number five.

1:34:46 Adam I'm going to vote one more time. I was saying to Johnny, Johnny, what'd he say?

1:34:50 Drew 25 years old, what's going on?

1:34:52 Adam You got a little lump on your testes there, buddy?

1:34:54 Hey, yeah, I got a little lump on my right test. I had it checked out in college about four years ago. Doctor was kind of vague, but he said I was okay. I do self-exam regularly, and just the other day I discovered another lump about an inch down from my scrotum. It's about the size of a jelly bean and it's painful to the touch. I assume I should get it checked out, but I don't want to deal with any middle man, don't want to go to a doctor who's going to say, yeah, it's a lump, go get it checked out by someone specific.

1:35:19 Drew Go see a urologist.

1:35:21 Adam Urologist, deck it out with the same man. And let me tell you something, an inch down Ace Rockolla's scrotum is a half inch further than his fist. I'm not jacking a lot, but I'm sure it will bring me right back. We'll be right back. Bye bye and hot hot hot. It's human nature. Oh, there you go. Blink 182 coming in here tomorrow night.

1:36:09 Drew Then Wednesday?

1:36:10 Adam And Wednesday, Jerry from Survivor, and then Big Boob Queen, Danny Ash will be in here.

1:36:16 Drew Is she heavy-accented too, just like...

1:36:18 Adam Like Minka? Number one Asian Big Boob Queen.

1:36:20 Caller Number one Asian Big Boob Queen.

1:36:25 Adam Boy, that was a struggle for her to say that.

1:36:27 Caller Who's number one?

1:36:28 Adam Now, imagine me with, you know, 14 Heineken's in me, sitting in a strip club with white snake blaring in the background, trying to communicate with her on my lap.

1:36:38 Drew Nice.

1:36:39 Adam Enjoy yourself! Number one. You want a drink? No. Number one. You don't need money? No, I don't need money. Oh my God.

1:36:49 Caller Don't play tennis no more.

1:36:52 Adam Not with those jugs. All right, so until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying Mahalo.

1:36:59 This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on the show are not necessarily those of the staff management sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is the presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Monday, May 21, 2001