Episode 1000754886801

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:14 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline.

1:20 Guest Oh, stop that, Adam.

1:21 Oh, Adam.

1:23 Oh, Lord.

1:25 Guest It's the Vicodin.

1:26 Guest Oh, you make me want to wean myself off my vibrator. Okay.

1:28 Adam Get it all out of your system, ladies.

1:31 Guest It's going to be a long night.

1:33 Guest I'm going to let it build.

1:35 Adam We're in it for the long haul.

1:38 Guest The long what?

1:38 Adam That is Dr. Drew over there, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist, everybody.

1:44 Guest Dr. Drew, give me a shot.

1:45 Hello.

1:47 Guest I need it right here, right here, baby.

1:49 Adam 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1 is the phone number.

1:52 Ow.

1:53 Drew It's interesting. When people who are clearly not radio people come on the radio, we're just sort of waiting to die with microphones in front of us. They're actually excited to be here.

2:01 Guest Oh, come on kids. We're thrilled. You guys are so over this, are you?

2:04 Adam Are we over the radio?

2:06 Guest Well, you know what? Absolutely. You're over the radio, but also at the same time, you guys are just such pros at answering these sex questions. You help me go through puberty and I thank you for it.

2:16 Guest Really?

2:17 Guest Yeah, born and raised in Downey, California, boy, I had a lot of questions on my mind.

2:21 Adam That is Alana Ubach, by the way, who is one of the stars of Legally Blonde along with Jessica Cauffiel, who is another one of the stars of Legally Blonde, which is coming out this Friday, everybody. That's right.

2:36 Guest Go and see it.

2:36 Adam Hard to judge movies by the commercials, but I'll tell you, I love this Reese Witherspoon.

2:42 Guest She's got some great tits.

2:44 Adam Oh, yeah.

2:45 Guest Are we allowed to say that?

2:46 Guest I think you can say Tata is vocational.

2:48 Adam Well, it's good, whatever it is.

2:49 Guest She's got a great rumpus.

2:51 Adam I like her. I really loved Election. That was one of my favorite movies a couple of years back.

2:57 Guest Fantastic, huh?

2:58 Adam Reese is back in school, so I can't imagine she's gone too far wrong with this one. So you guys are her sorority sisters.

3:06 Guest Yes, you got it.

3:07 Adam And tell us about that. How's it go?

3:10 Guest Go, Jessica.

3:11 Guest Well, Alanna and I play the sidekicks to Reese Witherspoon's Elle, who is a sorority queen, and I being her vapid, vacuous, effervescent, joyous, blonde, ditz of a best friend alongside Alanna, you know, the jovial yet centered and balanced brunette. And we are the comic foils to Reese's comedic genius.

3:32 Guest Someone ask their SATs, okay?

3:34 Guest Okay.

3:34 Guest Hello.

3:35 Guest Grammar.

3:35 Adam Oh, Alanna is also going to be seen with Jenny McCarthy coming up here. Drew points out as well as it's called the perfect you. Why are you doing that, Drew?

3:44 Guest What's that?

3:44 Guest And the vagina monologues. Go see me in Chicago if you want with the second city troupe. I'll be talking about my vagina.

3:50 Adam Are you doing the vagina monologue?

3:51 Guest She's going to be talking about her pussy.

3:53 Guest My stinky vaginas.

3:55 Adam How does that work, by the way? Because I'm curious how that goes.

3:59 Guest I do a lot of research on it and...

4:03 Adam On the vagina?

4:03 Guest Yes, as a matter of fact, I went down to Pink Cheeks and got my rumpus wax. And I'll tell you something, it was like going through labor or what I imagine is going through labor. And I asked a lot of questions from porn stars to nuns about the vagina.

4:16 Guest She's been flexing her grippers.

4:18 Guest Yes, I have.

4:19 Adam Hold on.

4:20 Guest I've got the pubic-logical muscle.

4:21 Guest Yes, they sent me, as a matter of fact, this special machine to get ready for the theater.

4:26 Adam No, they did not. Now settle down, you two. By the way, just stand on a mirror if you want to do the research for the Vagina Monologue. I love it. Don't you do a monologue that someone else wrote? Aren't they all pre-done monologues?

4:41 Guest Absolutely. It's not like an independent film where I have to improvise about a vagina. My vagina has been established already and through millions of voices nationwide, including Winona Ryder and Sarah Jessica Parker. We love them. As a matter of fact, I think Blossom is going to be talking about her vagina right after me.

4:58 Adam That's got to be wrong.

5:02 Guest Then we're all going to go out to drinks together and I'm going to talk about my vagina after the show.

5:06 Guest I can't wait.

5:07 Guest That could be a two to three hour conversation.

5:09 Adam How long is the monologue you have to do? Do you have to memorize it and can't someone put it on a teleprompter? How does that work?

5:16 Guest You read it. We're all dressed in black. It's very avant-garde. We're up on the stage and we open up our books and start talking. People know right off the bat that it has been written and that we're talking about it.

5:28 Adam I don't want to get off Legally Blonde too far, but I don't imagine I'm going to see Vagina Monologues because I got porn at home.

5:36 Drew You do this show every night.

5:37 Adam I do this show every night.

5:38 Guest From what I hear, you're appearing at the Palato talking about the Apollo Theater. Is it talking about penis disorders?

5:45 Adam Talking about what it's like to be black.

5:46 Guest Congratulations, Adam.

5:48 Guest Yes, he has one.

5:49 Guest Are you circumcised?

5:50 Guest It's not easy.

5:51 Adam It's a long story. It's a long story, but...

5:53 Guest Cool down your... Oh my god, kids. It's fantastic. It's like nothing I've ever seen. Adam, no wonder you're so jaded.

6:03 Adam Yeah, you guys should really... You're gonna take home an Oscar before the night is true. I guarantee you that. All right, wait a minute.

6:10 Drew Turn their mics off.

6:11 Guest What did you do? Hold on.

6:12 Adam Anderson, what happened?

6:13 Drew They're over-modulating.

6:14 Adam Yeah, you guys back? See, usually on this show, we have to beg our comatose rock star guest to lean up and get within a three-foot proximity of the mic. Rarely do we have to tell people to settle down and back off the mic a little bit. But Anderson says there's a little over-modulation going on. So ladies, just lean back just a little bit. Just give it a good, I'd say about four or five inches from the mic. That looks good. Anderson, what do you think? Good?

6:43 All right.

6:43 Adam So one more question about this Vagina monologue. This was something that was written by one person some time ago, and it has a rotating cast, but it's the same monologue, essentially.

6:56 Guest Absolutely. It's like Forbidden Broadway or any other off-Broadway, Broadway show where everyone takes different positions every, what do you say, like four or five weeks?

7:05 Right.

7:06 Guest Then they come up with a different cast.

7:07 Adam It's pretty cool. How long is your chunk?

7:10 Guest My chunk is four weeks.

7:13 Adam Is the thing 10 minutes long or six minutes long or 20 minutes long?

7:16 Guest It's a good 120 pages. It's a good an hour and 20 minutes. Can you imagine?

7:21 Adam Your personal monologue?

7:23 Guest About the- No, not my personal monologue.

7:24 Adam No, your personal chunk. How long is that?

7:26 Guest I have about a good five monologues in the show. It's kind of fun. I play Dominatrix, a very angry, hello, African-American woman who loves talking about her vaginas.

7:37 Adam Oh, really? Hello.

7:38 Guest She's mad and she's angry. She's angry about her vaginas because it's got some gray hair. Hello.

7:44 Guest So that's a lot of fun.

7:45 Adam When you do the black woman, do you get in black face in a fro wig?

7:49 Guest No. As a matter of fact, I get a lot of inspiration for my friends who are just fabulous, educated, eloquent, inner-city children.

7:58 Adam But do you dress black or you do the black as a white woman?

8:04 Guest I have a fantastic fro, but I don't think they're going to let me use it in the theater.

8:08 Adam So it's not offensive to do the black voice and all that, but if you put the black makeup on, that's offensive?

8:16 Guest Hey, Al Jolson did it, but I would assume I'd be considered an anachronism and a freak.

8:21 Adam You got to do it as a white person.

8:22 Guest You know what happened to Ted Danson?

8:24 Adam That's confusing. All right. Any guys?

8:27 Guest Candle.

8:29 Adam Legally Blonde, everyone. This Friday. Kelly?

8:32 Hello.

8:32 Adam You're 33.

8:34 Caller What's up?

8:35 I am curious if there's such thing as female ejaculation.

8:39 Drew Yes, there is.

8:41 Yeah.

8:42 Am I not, I'm not peeing when I'm doing this?

8:44 Drew Well, there's that too. It could be. It's hard to tell the difference sometimes. There's something called female orgasmic incontinence, and there's female ejaculation.

8:53 Guest My girlfriend did that.

8:54 Drew Yeah. It's not uncommon.

8:55 Guest Shot straight across the room.

8:56 Drew Right.

8:56 Adam Really?

8:58 Guest Yeah, it's crazy. It like shoots out.

9:00 Sometimes it like shoots out in a stream, and sometimes it's like a big, just like a gush of fluid.

9:05 Guest Oh, why you passionate little bunting bean you.

9:08 Adam Let's put it this way.

9:08 Guest He must love it.

9:09 Adam Can you, it seems to me, I've never really seen a girl urinate, but I hear it through the door, actually down the street oftentimes.

9:17 Guest The fire hose.

9:18 Adam It hits that water with a lot of momentum. If a woman was lying down and opened her legs, could she pee, you know, four or five feet? You guys think you could do that?

9:29 Guest It depends how large the clitoris is, right, the clitoral muscle.

9:32 Guest Depends on how much I get paid for it.

9:33 Adam For urine?

9:35 Drew You forget what you could do as a young boy. My kids, my sons can fire over my head, no problem.

9:40 Adam Oh, really?

9:40 Drew For 20 yards, yeah.

9:42 Guest Dr. Drew, I'm envious of you, 33.

9:45 Adam Hey, Kelly?

9:46 Well, the first time I did it, I was 16, and it was when my boyfriend was fingering me, and I was 16. All this fluid just came gushing out, and then it didn't happen for 10 years later, and now I do it all the time.

9:59 Guest Were you embarrassed the first time?

10:01 Well, no, because I was really close to him.

10:03 Drew You need to include this in the vagina monologue. It won't be complete without this attribute.

10:08 Guest Does it turn him on? How does your boyfriend feel about it?

10:10 They love it. They just think they're like gods, because they think they're making you do this unreal thing.

10:15 Adam Well, does it ever happen during oral sex?

10:18 Guest Yeah, it can.

10:19 Adam And how does that treat them?

10:21 Guest It's like a facial.

10:22 If I get excited enough, you know.

10:24 Adam Yeah, do you get them in the face?

10:27 Well, yeah.

10:27 Adam Yeah, and he's got no problem with that?

10:29 No, he loves it.

10:30 Guest Very cool.

10:31 Guest Divine intervention, honey.

10:33 I just want to know if I'm peeing on the guy.

10:35 Guest No, spray until you're blue, girlfriend.

10:37 Drew A lot of women do feel sort of ashamed of this. They don't talk about it, but it's a fairly common. One night, remember, we asked all women to call in who did this?

10:44 Adam Right.

10:45 Drew We interviewed them all and many of them said it wasn't necessarily a very powerful orgasm that caused it. It was sort of positioning as much as anything.

10:51 Adam Well, have you ever examined the fluid that comes out?

10:54 You know, sometimes, it's just, yeah, I mean, I've looked at it.

10:57 Drew Take some vitamins.

10:58 My bed's soaked.

10:59 Drew Yeah, take some vitamins before you do this and make sure you see what it looks like.

11:03 Adam Take some B, see what happens.

11:05 Guest I say bucket it and sell it on eBay, baby.

11:07 Drew I think it's probably female ejaculation.

11:10 Adam All right there, Kelly. Yeah, good times, baby.

11:12 Guest I think it rocks.

11:14 Adam Let me, if you take B vitamins, just the urine turns yellow, right? No other secretions.

11:20 Drew Yeah.

11:20 Adam And why wouldn't they?

11:21 Drew Because it's being concentrated in the kidney.

11:23 Adam All right. All right, take those Bs. Or do what I do, eat asparagus, Drew.

11:28 Drew Yeah.

11:28 Adam When we urinate together.

11:30 Guest Quite fragrant.

11:30 Drew Oh, no. Knock me over.

11:32 Adam Drew knows, with my back turned to him, six feet away knows when I've been eating asparagus, right, Drew?

11:39 Drew No.

11:39 Guest You guys are way too close.

11:41 Guest Let him ask me.

11:42 Adam Mike. Yes. You're 22.

11:45 Caller Yes, I am.

11:45 Adam What's up?

11:47 Caller Well, I've been dating this girl for a while, and she's the first girl I ever had sex with. And we've been thinking about settling down and whatnot. And that's all good and well. But I think I want to have sex with at least one or other girl or maybe before I did that.

12:04 Drew Wait, I want to get this right. This is your first sexual partner?

12:08 Caller Right.

12:09 Drew And how long have you been with her?

12:11 Caller About three, four years.

12:13 Guest Has she been not giving you what you want?

12:15 Drew No, no, you gotta think like a guy for a second. That's thinking like a woman. Seriously, because men think diversity and not quality of relationship. They think, am I done? Do I need to see more?

12:26 Guest They need to sample.

12:27 Drew Yeah, exactly.

12:28 Guest She doesn't spray enough, does she?

12:29 Caller No, not at all.

12:30 Guest Oh man, I'm sorry.

12:31 Drew And Mike, it just sounds to me like you're plain old, flat out, not ready to get married, and you're sort of getting trapped into something.

12:38 Caller Well, sure, that's part of it.

12:39 Drew Oh, sure.

12:40 Guest So you feel like you need to sow your oats?

12:42 Drew Except for being trapped in the pot.

12:43 Guest You want to sow your oats?

12:44 Caller No, but I mean, my point is, it's not that I don't love her, but I just, I don't know what else is out there. You know what I'm saying?

12:48 Drew Yeah, you're not ready. That's called not ready, Mike.

12:51 Guest Just don't pop the question.

12:52 Guest Go to the deli and sample the meat.

12:54 Adam Well, let me just see if I can get a handle on Mike over here. What do you do for a living, Mike? I'm a chef. Oh, that's a good pun-tang gig.

13:04 Guest Sensual. Women are very attracted to chefs.

13:06 Adam Now, when you say chef, you don't mean you're working at Arby's. You mean a real chef?

13:11 Caller No. I mean, I'm a real chef.

13:12 Adam Right. You're an attractive guy?

13:14 Caller Yeah, I'm a good-looking guy.

13:15 Guest Sexy voice.

13:16 Adam You feel like you could get some other women?

13:18 Drew Probably, yes. Well, his number has gone up, the chef thing.

13:21 Adam A lot of guys think there's something waiting for them out there, and it turns out to be a bottle of lubriderm in a penthouse. They get nothing.

13:29 Guest An astro-glide.

13:30 Guest And spending a lot of money on the booty.

13:33 Adam Right. They get going, they meet a woman, they have sex, they get their confidence built up, then they want to break it off and move on to bigger and better things. They spend a year with nothing, and then they beg to get back together.

13:43 Guest They miss that person putting them on this pedestal, right?

13:46 Adam I think Mike might be able to do some damage once he's cut loose. And Mike, this is the kind of thing that will haunt the guy.

13:54 Drew Although, this is the bane of your existence when you're mad.

13:57 Adam It's not going to be any different, really, but we'll never be able to explain that to you, and you'll have to do it for yourself.

14:02 Guest And if you are going to cheat man, use a condom for God's sakes.

14:05 Drew There are many guys that...

14:06 Guest Don't cheat, just be honest with her.

14:08 Drew That in fact, for men, it's not so much who they're with as are they ready. And there are plenty of men who get married much, much later because they knew they weren't ready, regret having left behind somebody whom they know would have been a great partner, but still know they weren't ready and would have ruined that relationship ultimately anyway.

14:23 Guest You may need to sample the selection to learn to appreciate just how amazing she is. You may need to do that. And I think the most important thing is that you're just honest with her and communicate this to her. Not that you want to bang somebody, but that you may-

14:35 Drew No, he does.

14:35 Adam Hold on, hold on. What is he gonna-

14:37 Guest Specifically, there's a way to put it. I mean, there's a way to say it, but I mean, you have to be honest with her.

14:41 Adam Jessica, what is he gonna say to her?

14:44 Caller That's what I'm saying. How do I-

14:46 Guest Have you talked about marriage? So you've spoken about this.

14:48 Caller Sure, sure, sure.

14:49 Drew And here's the code. I'm not ready. That's the code word.

14:53 Guest Yeah.

14:54 Drew Code phrase.

14:54 Adam But I want to know what Mike-

14:56 Guest I need time.

14:57 Adam What?

14:57 Caller How do I do that without hurting her?

14:59 Guest Take her to TGI Fridays every weekend. She'll get sick of you and dump you first.

15:03 Drew There's no easy way out of this.

15:05 Adam But Mike, are you saying you want out for good, or do you want that like, I need some time apart thing?

15:10 Caller I would need some time apart thing. I don't want out for good because it's great.

15:15 Adam See, that's a tough one though, because here's the deal too. She can get going with a new guy faster than you can get going with a new girl. It's a proven fact. And then you start going nuts, and then you end up drinking yourself into an early grave. So Mike, do you have something lined up? Do you have your eye on somebody? Not particularly.

15:36 Drew Even if you did, it wouldn't work.

15:38 Adam Right, right. All right, Mike.

15:41 Guest I do think though, if you're feeling this, if you don't act upon it, and at least by being honest with her by saying, I'm not ready, and you go out there and explore some things, you've got to do that for yourself. You have to be honest with yourself or else you may resent her. You could get together with her and you're going to resent her.

15:54 Guest Yeah, she'll become the enemy.

15:56 Guest That's a seed of nastiness that gets planted in the relationship that she has.

16:00 Drew And he will cheat later. They have three kids. When other people are hurt.

16:04 Guest Very dysfunctional. You're young.

16:05 Guest You're really young. I mean, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. It sounds so cliched.

16:09 Adam All right. Well, what about grabbing a hooker or two in a case like this? You know what I'm saying? Drew, you know what I'm talking about.

16:17 Drew Think about it. Do you think that would have... Yeah. You know, some men need to sort of... They need to test the numbers situation. Right. That's part of what that is. And you may want to explain what we mean by that.

16:29 Guest Creole lady, my old lines.

16:31 Drew They want to figure out... Shaggy's here. They want to figure out who they are in the world. They want to test that. And seeing a prostitute, I think, would make them feel worse even than sort of...

16:40 Adam Well, I don't know about worse, but yeah.

16:42 Drew You know what I'm saying?

16:43 Adam Yeah? All right, we gave him no answer. Gary?

16:46 Hey, what's going on?

16:46 Adam You're 30.

16:48 Caller Yes, I am, yeah.

16:49 Adam What's up?

16:49 Caller I have a question for Dr. Drew. My girlfriend, I've seen her for two years. She's a recovering alcoholic. She recently had a drink again, but let me tell you a little bit more about what's going on. Dr. Drew, she worked a program for nine years. She got therapy for four. She sponsored people. She was very into it, but the dogma of AA kind of left her for the last three years, and she was whittling down with the meetings and not going. She hasn't gone in two years. Recently she had a social drink.

17:14 Drew Is she still in therapy?

17:16 Caller No, not anymore. Her therapy was finished before I started seeing her.

17:21 Drew Finished? How long was she in therapy for?

17:23 Caller Four years.

17:24 Drew And so what's the question?

17:25 Caller Well, my question is, we've looked around, because she had talked about it. She kind of felt like she was missing out. She wanted to be like a normal person. She wasn't really hard-line AA anymore. What's your advice on this?

17:38 Drew Well, it's a very interesting situation, because theoretically, the fact that she was so successful in the program suggests that she made a lot of emotional change and grew a lot, and she did therapy, and really these things work. The problem is, though, based on what we understand about the biology of addiction, is that that switch in her brain, that genetic potential has already been thrown, and that reward, sort of anticipated level of reward, is sort of etched into her brain, and when she gets back to the alcohol, she will very rapidly progress, theoretically, to that same level of reward that her brain demanded back when she left off the alcohol. And that's a biological process, even though it's not motivated by any emotional demons that she was dealing with, and helping... It's very interesting. The biology is etched in, and the level of reward will require further use. And so she's really, on one hand, it's like people theorize that there could be such a thing as moderation at some point, but the biological theories currently suggest that that's just not possible. Really?

18:34 Caller So you think she's just in grave danger?

18:36 Drew Yeah, she's flirting with disaster. Well, wait a minute.

18:38 Guest Can I say something?

18:39 Guest Is she on meds?

18:41 Caller No, she doesn't take any meds.

18:42 Guest Here, the thing I want to say is, from what I know about alcoholism, is that the bane of the alcoholic's existence is that all he wants to do is drink like a normal drinker. And when people, I think, get through a certain progress in the program, they get their confidence back and their self-assurance, and they start to believe that they can drink like normal people because they've gotten it together. But it is a, it is a disease. Alcoholism is a disease, it is a medical disease, and it's also physiological, biological tendency as well as mental. And so it is nearly impossible once the alcoholic starts drinking again for him to drink like a normal person. It is physiological.

19:19 Drew And that fits with my experience of the disease, my understanding of the current theories, which is that if she had never developed full-blown disease, she might have been able to control it. But once the sort of so-called switch is thrown, then you're never able again to go back to pre-throwing the switch.

19:34 Adam Hey Gary.

19:35 Caller Yeah, what do you think, Adam? I'm curious.

19:36 Adam Yeah. Well, you know, I like people to drink as much as possible because it makes me seem like I drink less.

19:42 Guest Chingaling!

19:42 Adam It's all a relative thing.

19:44 Guest Red flag.

19:45 Adam But I'm curious how long she's been able to socially drink. How long has this been going on?

19:53 Caller Well, it's only started a month ago, and she had one drink. That was it.

19:56 Adam Oh, a month ago.

19:57 Drew Yeah, she's flirting with him.

19:59 Adam I would like to believe that people could get back and have a social drink, but not the vast majority of them, I would say.

20:07 Drew Make sure there's not something else sort of fueling this, like the doctor would give her any pain medicine or any sleeping medicine. Because again, that fuels that reward apparatus to drive you back to the previous level of reward.

20:19 Guest Addictive personality. It's an addictive personality.

20:22 Drew It's an addictive brain.

20:23 Guest Whether it's relationships or drugs or alcohol. How does this make you feel, Mike? How do you feel? How does this make you feel?

20:29 Adam I just put him on hold. Where the hell is he? Oh, it's Gary.

20:33 Guest Gary.

20:33 Adam You confuse me when you call him Mike.

20:35 Guest Gary, how does this make you feel?

20:37 Caller Well, I have kind of a complex opinion, Dr. Drew. Both her and I are emergency nurses and a good deal of our, a good percentage of our patients are, of course, addicts. So I'm very worried for her because I like her very much. But I don't, you know, I can't dispute the scientific data. But, you know, I guess I'm like Adam. I want to believe that people can get, you know, better, especially, especially her. I mean, I don't know, there seems to be any other issues working right now.

20:59 Drew I understand. You see, you want this disease to be all emotional. Right. It isn't. It's emotional, biological, and spiritual. And while she is much, much improved from an emotional standpoint, the biology remains. And to the extent to which is decayed is evidenced by the fact that she didn't immediately blast off with disease after the first exposure. But the evidence currently is that there's something etched into her brain that does not change with time.

21:25 Adam I'll tell you, I love getting jacked up myself.

21:28 Drew No, she knows.

21:29 Adam I was just thinking about how much I love being altered a little bit, you know?

21:32 Drew Adam, you are really...

21:33 Guest You're running from reality. Can I say something? Hey Gary, I think from what I know about alcoholism, the most important thing is that you take care of yourself and if you try to change her decision in regards to the drink or try to stop her, it's going to fuel her desire that much more.

21:47 Guest You'll be the enemy.

21:48 Adam All right. Take care of yourself. Drew, you don't want to talk to anybody?

21:52 Drew These are not great ones to leave off with.

21:55 Adam Oh really? All right. You mean we have so many good questions, so many chit-a-lating questions, and we can't decide.

22:01 Drew They're good questions, but you don't-

22:02 Adam You shut up.

22:03 Guest Are you guys in therapy?

22:05 Adam Yes. I'm going to hit him with my mic in a second. I'm trying to do a little decent radio here.

22:10 Drew So many questions, so good, I can't choose the one I want.

22:13 Adam That's the angle you pick, you retard. Not they're all duds, and we don't know which one to pick.

22:18 Drew They're not, they're duds, it's not it.

22:20 Adam The girl has to go down. You ready to take a break?

22:22 Drew Yeah.

22:22 Adam I'm ready to take a break.

22:23 Guest I love you, Adam.

22:25 Guest I love you, Alanna.

22:26 Drew You do not, Alanna.

22:27 Guest I do, I'm gonna starstruck. You have no idea, man.

22:29 Guest Really?

22:30 Guest Yeah.

22:30 Drew Oh, that is scary.

22:31 Guest On his hat.

22:32 Guest I paid a publicist $1,000 just to meet you, man.

22:35 Drew I think I'm gonna puke.

22:37 Guest There's a naked woman on his hat.

22:40 Adam Alanna, really, you don't like me more than Drew, do you?

22:43 Guest Oh, I absolutely love you.

22:44 Adam Oh, really?

22:44 Guest You remind me of my childhood, man. I grew up in Downey, California, and I've been listening to you guys for years. Yell me, go through puberty.

22:50 Adam Puberty?

22:51 Guest Absolutely.

22:51 Guest I think, I don't know, Dr. Drew has the intellectual, you know, fervor and sass in those glasses.

22:56 Guest You guys, they are so hot in person. No blemishes. Bodies to kill. It's all about Pilates and facials. I know it.

23:04 Adam Anyone who knows me, it's about Pilates and facials.

23:08 Guest That's you, Al.

23:08 Adam All right, Jessica and Alanna are both here from Legally Blonde coming out this Friday. I'm going to go take a Pilate, and we'll be back right after this.

23:17 Guest Have the luck.

23:20 Guest Love Line, with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

23:46 Hi, this is Shaggy. Mr. Lovelove up front and person, and you're listening to Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew, who got it going on up close and personal.

24:00 Guest Yep, it is Loveline.

24:03 Adam Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. That's Dr. Drew over there, Adam Corolla, Jessica Cauffiel, and Alana Ubach are both here. Legally Blonde is the name of the movie. It is coming out this Friday, and tonight our guests are the Sorority Sisters of Reese Witherspoon. And I'm guessing pretty good meaty parts in the film.

24:25 Guest Yeah, and the curtains match the drapes.

24:29 Caller Absolutely.

24:30 Adam So we got a blonde and a brunette and the curtains match the drapes. Upstairs and down. Nice.

24:36 Guest Actually, Alanna and I in the film, the original version of it, there was a lot of dirty stuff that we said. We talked about a lot of sexual things. They actually got cut because it was changing to more PG-13 girl power movie. But we had some cunnilingus lines and some anal sex references that were cut. They were naughty.

24:50 Guest Anyone heard of Dirty Sanchez?

24:52 Guest Yeah. I had a Dirty Sanchez line.

24:55 Drew What is that?

24:56 Adam Dirty Sanchez is up there with a fel cherry. It's one of those words. It's one of those very deviant sexual things. But it probably has a few different definitions. I mean, a few different descriptions. Give us, Alanna, give us your interpretation of the Dirty Sanchez.

25:15 Guest Dirty Sanchez. I mean, that's very funny. I think, well, basically what you do is you put your dedos inside of the nalgas and you pull it out and then you put the cacotas over your árboles.

25:27 Guest Right.

25:29 Guest Help, help. Do you want the English translation of that? Yeah. The next boyfriend of mine gave me this saying. He had plenty of rainbow kiss, you know, going down on a woman on her period. Dirty Sanchez is when the man is entering the female anally, whips it out, sticks his finger down there and does a moustache. Oh my goodness.

25:45 Drew Dirty Sanchez.

25:45 Dirty Sanchez.

25:47 Guest It's very dirty.

25:49 Guest We don't need no stinking condoms.

25:51 Drew What goes this big?

25:51 Guest Oh my God.

25:53 Guest Oh my goodness.

25:54 Guest Don't try this at home.

25:56 Adam That's the dirty senior Wences. That's where you get a hand job after a guy fishes a ball out of the toilet.

26:03 Guest That is so nasty.

26:05 Adam You guys never had that?

26:06 Guest Pervert.

26:06 Guest God no. No.

26:08 Guest I do it through a hole in the sheet.

26:11 Adam I'll tell you. I am a, Drew you've heard me say this a million times, boobs and blow jobs. That's my fighting zone. I mean I'm a straight sex guy. I like the good straight sex. Oh I'll give you a run for your money sister. Don't get me wrong. But I don't like getting too wild. I don't like getting too crazy. I like to keep it pretty normal, pretty, the boring stuff done with flair. Done with gusto.

26:35 Guest Classical love making.

26:36 Adam Absolutely. I don't know if you want to call it love making. Not love making.

26:41 Guest Do you do it in public places?

26:43 Adam No. Not into that.

26:45 Guest The My High Club. That's right. You're a star.

26:48 Guest You're like, yeah.

26:49 Adam No. You know my thing is I hate a distraction during the love making.

26:55 Guest Phone ringing.

26:57 Drew You hate a distraction. You can't talk.

26:58 Guest A fan asking for your autograph.

27:00 Drew You can't tell her distractions during anything.

27:02 Guest No.

27:02 Drew Sleeping.

27:02 Adam No.

27:03 Drew Working.

27:03 Adam I can't beat off with birds chirping outside. Or if the neighbor, two houses down, is getting his lawn mowed, I can't even beat one off.

27:10 Drew Yeah.

27:11 Guest It's too bad.

27:11 Adam I need to really focus. And if I think someone's going to come pouncing through the front door or the phone's going to ring or some family member's going to walk into the room, I can't focus.

27:21 Guest Self-conscious.

27:24 Adam I want to... I don't know if that's self-conscious.

27:27 Drew No, no, no. That's your ADD.

27:29 Adam Is it?

27:30 Guest Yeah, but I have ADD and I have a very clear ability to focus during lovemaking. Let me tell you. I don't care if somebody's in the kitchen whipping up the dinner, the maid is scrubbing the floor. I'm there over the kitchen table. I don't know anything else.

27:44 Guest Oh, I'm about to be reformed. Someone's about to be reformed.

27:48 Guest Yeah, I can focus, and I have ADD, but when it comes to lovemaking, honey, that's it.

27:51 Drew But that's not focus.

27:52 Guest Transcend.

27:53 Drew Right, that's not really focusing. That's sort of getting lost.

27:56 Guest Yes, that's opening my heart chakra, and that's being lost in the euphoric bliss of lovemaking. If I'm in love with someone, the entire world drops away.

28:06 Adam Men can't do that.

28:07 Drew Men can't do that at all.

28:08 Guest I don't believe that, really? Do you find that you guys need to be visually stimulated? I mean, I always have to have the lights on, have to be looking at the tata jiggling.

28:19 Adam I'll get a mirror into the mix.

28:21 I like that.

28:22 Guest That's amazing. This kind of talk is really like confusing me because just last weekend my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time and we actually had the sheet and we put it over the window.

28:35 Adam We hung it out the window.

28:37 Guest We hung it out the window and my entire family was there. I'm Latin.

28:40 Guest What do you do?

28:41 Adam That's what they do in the Latin cultures.

28:43 Drew They examine it up.

28:44 Adam They hang the bloody sheet. They see the whole village is seen.

28:48 Guest I love you, Greg.

28:49 Guest I love you, Greg. I love you too, honey. The first time.

28:55 Drew Thank you. Who cares?

28:56 Adam Pick yourself a phone up there, Drew.

28:58 Drew Thanks.

28:59 Guest Give me a question.

29:00 Guest Susie?

29:02 Yeah.

29:02 Adam You're 21?

29:03 Caller Yeah.

29:04 Adam What's up?

29:05 Caller I just want to say that I love the show. I've listened to it since I was like 14.

29:09 Adam Great.

29:11 Anyways, I had a question about this medication I'm taking.

29:15 Caller It's called Madroxyprogesterone.

29:18 The doctor prescribed it because I don't get my period.

29:20 Caller I've never had a regular period and I don't ovulate or something like that.

29:24 Guest Really, Seag?

29:25 Drew So this just makes you bleed basically.

29:27 Caller Yeah.

29:27 Drew You take it, what, 10 days a month or something?

29:29 Caller Yeah.

29:30 Guest So you don't ovulate then when you're on it?

29:32 Drew No, it just makes you bleed. It makes the lining of your uterus slough off.

29:36 Guest Are you a runner?

29:37 Caller No.

29:38 Guest A dancer?

29:39 Caller I don't know. I just never.

29:41 Drew What kind of doctors give you this?

29:43 Guest Like my general family practice doctors.

29:46 Drew You really should see a gynecologist, okay, because there's a lot of ideas about how to approach this kind of problem. One of the, I suspect people would say the foremost issue is to make sure you don't have something called polycystic ovarian disease, which is a common condition that causes difficulty. You have UPCO? Yeah. Really?

30:02 Guest Absolutely. Well, polycystic ovaries, a girlfriend of mine has polycystic ovaries, two girlfriends as a matter of fact, and I'm borderline, I was told a couple of hours ago.

30:11 Drew The issue with that is, I mean, most of them that have that have a little bit of a weight issue that goes with that, and diabetes is a common result later on in life.

30:19 Guest Which I'm not, I love both.

30:21 Drew So insulin resistance is something that has to be actually dealt with early so you don't get into problems with it.

30:26 Guest Got to nip that in the bud.

30:28 Adam All right there, Susie.

30:29 Drew Yeah, I think most doctor would probably just plain put you on the pill at your age if you don't have PCO.

30:35 Guest Which I'm, yeah.

30:36 Drew Okay.

30:37 Adam All right, Susie.

30:37 Drew All right, good luck.

30:38 Adam Hey, good times with the sloughing.

30:40 Guest It's fun. The speculum, it's cold but it's good.

30:43 Adam Greg?

30:44 Caller Hi.

30:45 Adam Hey, you're 32.

30:46 Caller Yeah, well I have a problem with my wife.

30:51 Caller Adam, can I ask you something first?

30:53 Adam Sure.

30:54 Caller Do you think you could do something about those women? Can you tone them down?

30:58 Drew You're gay.

30:59 Adam Uh-oh, how dare you?

31:00 Drew You mean the sound wise?

31:02 Caller Uh-huh, I don't, like, ovulate, you mean release the egg, uh-huh.

31:08 Adam All right, listen, Greg, please, you're very insulting to our guest.

31:11 Caller How dare you?

31:12 Adam Yes, they got out of the blocks pretty good here but they're very attractive women. And you see, hold on, this just proves my theory. Hold on there, Greg. And don't take this the wrong way, ladies, but when you're sitting in front of two very beautiful women, it does not sound annoying. Maybe if you're driving a truck somewhere and you just hear over-modulation, you get a headache. But sitting here, I don't notice at all because they're very beautiful. The girls came in, they were a little juiced up, but we like that. We like enthusiasm. Greg over here, I suspect, is gay and does not like women. But Greg...

31:44 Guest That's why he's having a problem with his wife.

31:47 Adam But Greg, the girls came out fired up, but I think they've mellowed out in the last few moments.

31:53 Guest We're sorry, Greg. We're sorry, Greg.

31:54 Guest We're just trying to spread the positivity. Sorry, honey.

31:56 Adam Okay.

31:57 Caller Well, you're not getting there yet, but maybe if you keep it up.

32:00 Guest Hey, take care of yourself.

32:01 Adam Okay.

32:01 Caller Thanks.

32:01 Adam All right. Greg, hurry and ask your questions. I'm going to hang up on you.

32:04 Caller I'm sorry. I made that question up.

32:06 Drew Go ahead. Oh, so you're just...

32:08 Adam The only reason I went to him is because he said he was raped in prison. I see. And by the way... Wait, wait, Greg.

32:12 Drew Greg has called you before. And he liked it. I recognize your voice.

32:14 Adam I see the word rape in prison in the same call. My finger goes right through the thing.

32:17 Drew Wait, wait, wait. Let me talk to Greg.

32:19 Caller What?

32:19 Drew When have you called us before?

32:20 Caller I haven't.

32:21 Adam Really?

32:22 Drew I recognize your voice from somewhere. All right.

32:24 Adam Maybe insincerity has a common ring to it.

32:27 Caller I don't know. You know, I don't...

32:29 Guest All right.

32:31 Guest Adam, you're the bomb.

32:32 Guest Yeah, thanks, Adam. We're just trying to spread the love.

32:34 Adam You know, I'll tell you the beauty of this show is you get to hang up on people. And I know in real life, don't you want to hang up on people all the time? I hung up on our censor from Comedy Central today. It really felt good. It's liberating.

32:47 Drew What were you arguing about? Underwear, underpants again?

32:49 Adam Oh, we went round and round and round. You know, no Michael J. Fox jokes. I don't want that hooker on top of the guy for so long. You know, all the usual stuff. And we finally got our way with her and she agreed. And it's like, it's the world's most bizarre conversation. We do the man show on Comedy Central. And it ends up, here's how the conversation goes. Okay, her name is Renee Presser. Renee, we're going to give you the Michael J. Fox. We're going to give you the tuna boat joke. And we're going to give you the Mexican hooker. But we get the monkey with the banana in the ass, right? And then she fires back. The Michael J. Fox was never on the table. What do you mean it's not on the table? It's not on the table. It's not open for negotiation. You can't give it to us. So we went round and round. We finally won. And I just picked the phone up and hung up on her because I realized once we've won, let's not keep talking. We'll get screwed over if it keeps going. Plus, they said the S word 162 times on South Park two weeks ago. So that's our big angle now.

33:47 Caller Unacceptable.

33:50 Adam Jeff? Hey, what's up, guys? You're 22. What's up?

33:54 Caller Right off the bat, I'd just like to say, Reese, you're an incredible actress.

33:58 Adam Yay!

33:59 Caller You go to town.

34:02 Adam Oh, Reese is not here.

34:04 Caller Are you kidding?

34:05 Adam No, I wouldn't lie about that.

34:06 Guest She's in our trunk.

34:08 Guest She's in the limo. Nude.

34:10 Caller All right, let me get right to my question then. It's pretty much for Dr. Drew. I have contracted general pool warts. And I wanted to know what kind of effects would happen if I transmitted it to a female.

34:24 Drew Well, theoretically, they're much more serious for women in that they, at least the behaviors that lead to general warts are now being shown to be associated with cervical cancer.

34:32 Caller I see.

34:33 Drew And the virus itself is thought to be perhaps the causative agent, certain of these viruses.

34:37 Caller I see.

34:37 Caller I was told it could complicate pregnancy.

34:40 Drew Eh, it's more herpes that's the issue with that. But warts, the big issue is cancer.

34:45 Adam You have a girlfriend?

34:46 Caller No, no.

34:47 Adam Drew, what about this Woods Light thing you did to me?

34:50 Drew Yeah.

34:50 Adam What about doing that at home for a guy like Jeff?

34:54 Drew He knows he's got it.

34:55 Adam I know he knows he has it, but aren't there, you know, we never know whether you're going to spread them or not. Yeah. And you assume he will. But you don't know for sure.

35:06 Drew He sees the warts.

35:07 Adam I know he does now, but I mean, he could get them burned off a year from now, be in a relationship and want to do the acetic acid black light test.

35:15 Drew The average in that article I brought in, which is where it is right now, but I brought an article to prove to you that 30-40 percent of sexually active adults in cities have the wart virus, which is extremely common, Jeff, exceedingly common.

35:27 Adam Now, there's 19-42 percent or something like that.

35:31 Drew It's mostly around 30 percent. But the fact is, it's something that's terribly, terribly common and it's thought that it only lasts about two or three years in most cases.

35:38 Adam Oh, is that it now?

35:40 Drew Yeah, but there's some that is persistent and then this is getting to be a little bit of a confusing field, but the persistent viruses are the ones that cause the cancer for sure.

35:48 Caller Are you guys still there?

35:49 Drew Yeah.

35:50 Caller Sorry, man. I don't know what to work right now.

35:51 Adam He dropped this one. Where do you work there, Jeff?

35:54 Caller I work security.

35:56 Drew You ran off after someone. I was breaking into the GL.

36:00 Adam How many perps you take down a year as a security guard, Jeff?

36:04 Caller Not too many, not really too many at all.

36:06 Guest You're a loser.

36:07 Adam Yeah, these guys are there, they're like lifeguards. They don't really, at the public pool, they don't really save anybody. They're just there to detract people from raping kids in the shallow end and stuff like that.

36:18 Guest Ay, ay, ay.

36:18 Adam Oh, yes, yes. Now girls, lean up on the mic. Don't be frightened by that A-hole.

36:22 Guest I'm trying not to take what that guy said personally.

36:25 Adam Please, no, don't.

36:25 Guest I know when I'm the last thing I want to be is obnoxious. I just want to help.

36:29 Adam No, I know. I understand.

36:31 Guest You know what it's like, actors are fragile.

36:33 Adam Oh, yeah, yeah.

36:34 Guest Vulnerable flowers. Sensitive creatures. And little flowers.

36:37 Guest I took method acting. I'm very in touch with my emotions.

36:40 Caller Shut up, damn it!

36:41 Drew Shut up, damn it!

36:43 Adam All right, Drew, what do you want to do? You want to take a... No, let's just tease a call. That's good radio. Billy?

36:49 Yeah?

36:50 Adam You're 16?

36:51 Caller Yep.

36:51 Adam You work at a McDonald's?

36:53 Caller Uh-huh.

36:53 Adam I used to work at a McDonald's. Sweet 16.

36:56 Caller Man, McDonald's is not a fun place to work at.

36:59 Adam No, it is not. Do you work the grill?

37:02 Caller Yeah.

37:03 Adam Yeah, I did too. They wouldn't even let me work the goddamn register. Can you imagine that?

37:06 Caller I like to say something real fast.

37:09 Adam Yeah?

37:09 Caller You guys are gods, and I listen to your show to the tune of Whenever It's On.

37:17 Adam Thank you.

37:18 Guest Billy sounds loaded to me.

37:20 Adam Are you drunk?

37:21 Caller I wish I was.

37:23 Guest All right.

37:23 Adam Hey, Billy, you like a girl that works at the McDonald's, too?

37:26 Caller Yep.

37:26 Adam Well, she can't make fun of you for your job. That's the first angle you got on her.

37:31 Guest Keep her away from the French fries.

37:33 Adam All right, Billy, hold on a second. We're going to see if we can make a match after this.

37:37 Caller A lot of calories.

37:38 Adam All right. Hang on. Jessica and Alana are both here from Legally Blonde, coming out this Friday, and we'll be back with Billy after this.

37:46 Caller All right.

38:16 Guest Hey, everybody, it's The Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla.

38:18 Adam It's Dr. Drew over there. We're on air phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Jessica Caulfield and Alana Eubach are both here.

38:25 Guest Hello.

38:26 Adam Legally Blonde is the name of their latest joint, which is coming out this Friday. And I don't know what the comedy competition is out there, but I think it's gonna do pretty well.

38:38 Guest Clueless on video.

38:40 Adam Who else is out there now? I don't think anything else. I'm looking forward to that Planet of the Apes. I like good, bad sci-fi film. I like looking forward to that Jurassic Park. And of course, Legally Blonde, which is again coming out this Friday. Thank you. All right. Let's get back with Billy, who works at McDonald's, one of the first places I worked. Hey, Billy.

39:06 Guest I'm 16.

39:09 Adam Billy, you work in the grill. Yeah. You do the Big Macs and the Quarter Pounders. Hey, you ever do this? You ever put the Big Mac bun in the Big Mac toaster? It's a tri-level toaster because I got that middle bun. I always used to put the top bun the wrong direction so that the top shiny part of the bun got grilled by the toaster and that the bottom part was soft and white. You ever screw that one up, Billy?

39:35 Caller Oh, all the time, man. I've only been working there three weeks.

39:39 Adam I had a lot of difficulty with that. Do they still do that rap where they go, cheese count, cheese count on max, and then you go, cheese three, please. Then you go, burgers up, rap, please. You do that rap, Billy?

39:53 Caller Yeah, it sucks.

39:56 Adam Everyone who works there is miserable. The thing that's funny too is no other industry other than McDonald's has commercials where the workers are talking about joining the team and being happy, a lot of high-fiving and glad handing going on. But you talk to anyone who works at McDonald's, they're miserable, miserable. I think it's overcompensation. What's that?

40:16 Caller I'll tell you something right now. The only reason they do that is because you get a hundred dollar bonus every time someone signs up and gets hired. You get a hundred dollar bonus yourself.

40:28 Adam You do?

40:29 Caller Whoever does it.

40:30 Guest Ooh, he's debunking the McDonald's myth.

40:33 Adam That's pretty good.

40:34 Caller And I'd like to say, I can't wait to see that scary movie, too. It is going to be messed up, man.

40:42 Guest We're not in that.

40:43 Adam That's right.

40:44 Guest We have cameos in that.

40:45 Adam When you're done seeing that, you can go next door and see Legally Blonde, all right?

40:51 Caller All right.

40:52 Guest A lot of bodacious women.

40:54 Drew So, Billy, did you have a question?

40:55 Caller Yeah. How should I approach asking the girl that I like, um...

41:00 Drew And she works at the counter there, right?

41:02 Caller Yeah, to go out with me.

41:04 Guest You ask her if you want to go see Legally Blonde, and she'll go.

41:06 Guest Yeah. It's a girl power movie. She'll be impressed.

41:08 Guest It's Friday.

41:09 Caller No, but she's tired of guys, so...

41:12 Adam Uh-oh. What do you mean, she's tired of guys?

41:13 Guest Do you mean she's looking the other direction?

41:15 Caller I'm guessing she's, you know, a lesbian.

41:19 Drew What do you mean, you're guessing?

41:20 Adam Hold on. Billy, are you high, or is this the way you are normally?

41:24 Caller He's 16.

41:25 Drew You are high, aren't you?

41:26 Guest Someone dropped the cheese off his Big Mac a long time ago.

41:29 Drew What's that, Billy?

41:29 Caller This is the way I am normally.

41:31 Adam Really?

41:31 Caller I have ADD.

41:33 Adam Yeah, but you still don't have to act high with ADD. All right. So she says she's a lesbian?

41:40 Caller No, she just implies it.

41:41 Adam How does she imply it, by the way? She eats those filet-o-fishes.

41:46 Drew By the way, when you come up to a woman and she immediately starts pushing you away with things like, I'm not into guys, I don't want to date guys. That's a loud and clear message. He's hideous. She's telling you something. Just don't go any further. Forget it, don't worry. This one's not open for business.

42:01 Adam It's time for me to give a lesson to our young male listeners who really do not know their a-hole from a hole in the ground when it comes to talking to women. But you ladies will let a guy know if you're interested. Am I right?

42:14 Guest Yeah, absolutely.

42:15 Guest Signals loud and clear.

42:17 Adam Yeah, you're not going to ask the guy out, but you'll certainly be open to him asking you out. And that manifests itself in a few different ways. Now here's my first theory, and you guys have stopped me from wrong about any of this. Guys, when a woman likes you, she will make excuses to touch you. I don't mean grab your junk and make a honking sound, but you tell a joke, you tell a joke. I'll demonstrate on Drew.

42:40 Drew Grab your junk and make a honking sound.

42:43 Adam Well, a lot of women do that in the Midwest. That's how they show their affection.

42:47 Guest Hey, I'm from Detroit.

42:48 Drew Is that what that was?

42:48 Adam Well watch, they'll do it like this. Drew, let me use your shoulder, all right? Drew says something.

42:55 Drew Do you see that Legally Blonde moving?

42:57 Adam That is so funny. I love Drew. They do a thing where they touch, right? They touch all the time. Then the other big thing that a woman will do, it's a tell. They call them tells when they're talking about poker, and this is what this game is essentially. They do the drag. Oh, Drew, it's great to see you. They drag, they drag right on you. They'll just drag that hand. Like, if you hug them, when you break away from them, you get that little drag.

43:23 Guest The linger.

43:24 Adam Yeah, the little linger drag, little linger drag. Even with the handshake, you'll get a little drag along the palm. It's the hand. See, they don't like you, they shake the hand, then they open it and move it away like a robotic arm. But if you get the drag, that's something.

43:37 Guest The drag with the lingering eye contact, just a second longer.

43:40 Adam Right, just the beat. The other thing is, is when you're talking to them, whether it's at school or at a party or wherever, they'll hang around after the lull of the conversation. People aren't going to be rude if you go up, hey, how you doing? Hey, it's good to see. Hey, aren't you in my biology class? They'll sit through that. Then there's a lull.

43:58 Drew They'll stay.

43:58 Adam They'll stay in there. It could be 1001, 1002, 1003. It's like it almost has to come around and catch on again, the conversation, then you go, so you want something from the bar? If the answer is yes to anything, that's good. Because if they don't like you, it's going to be, I got a beer, or I'm not drinking, or I'm not going to whatever. I like women. The third thing is, you bring something up. You bring up this movie. You bring up Legally Blonde. And if they like you, they'll go, oh, I've been, yeah, I've heard about that. I wanted to see that. Let's start laying that out there. All you have to do is bring it up, and they're into it. Bring up anything. Bring up mountain biking. Oh, yeah, I'm into that. Or I'd love to try that. Oh, no, I've always wanted to do that. Right, that's what you'll get. Just start floating general notions.

44:45 Drew If you're getting none of that?

44:46 Adam If you're getting, yes, that's it. Move out, right?

44:50 Guest Turn around, walk away, bye-bye.

44:51 Adam That's right, guys.

44:52 Guest Next contestant.

44:53 Adam Thank you. Reggie?

44:55 Yeah.

44:55 Adam You're 13?

44:57 Caller Huh?

44:58 Adam 13, Reggie the girl?

45:00 Caller Uh-huh.

45:00 Drew All right, what's up?

45:02 Caller My girlfriend, she doesn't like to do the sexual stuff that I do.

45:08 Drew What does that mean?

45:08 Adam How old is she?

45:10 Caller 17.

45:11 Adam And you're 13?

45:12 Caller Yeah.

45:13 Adam Wow.

45:14 Drew Wow.

45:14 Adam What grade does that make you in? Early bloomer.

45:16 Drew Eighth grade. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you living at home now?

45:20 Caller Yeah.

45:21 Adam Drue gave the girls a big whoa.

45:23 Drew What? I always get bothered by that. Ooh, a liberated woman at 13. It's like, no, no, no.

45:27 Guest A little disturbing.

45:29 Adam All right. What grade are you going into?

45:32 Caller Eight.

45:32 Adam Going into the eighth. And your girlfriend is in what grade?

45:37 Caller She's going to be a senior.

45:38 Adam And how did you two meet?

45:41 Caller At a kind of like a pool hall place.

45:45 Drew Yeah. What is with your parents? They have you out of a pool hall. They allow that.

45:49 Caller It's like a kind of like a lumini thing. Like all schools go to it and everything. It's not a bar. It's just a pool hall.

45:59 Adam And you're not bisexual. You're a lesbian.

46:02 Caller Yeah.

46:02 Adam And you've had experiences with women sexually before.

46:08 Drew Should we gamble with you about it?

46:09 Caller Kind of.

46:10 Adam Yeah. I see. Kind of. But still you call yourself a lesbian.

46:15 Caller Well, I have.

46:17 Drew And you're demanding sexual activity that you've never had.

46:20 Caller Well, it was. Yeah.

46:22 Adam Okay. Fair enough. Reggie? And by the way, what is your name? Regina or something? Yeah. I see. But the Reggie, that's the lesbian angle. I like that. All right. Hey, Reggie, hang on a second.

46:36 Drew You're a lesbian.

46:37 Adam Drew, we know. Please. We're going to take a little break. And then we're going to come back. We're going to do a little gambling on you. All right? Okay. All right. Jessica, Alanna, you guys know how to gamble on the show?

46:47 Guest I don't want to tell her anything that's going to put her in therapy for the next 20 years. I'm so afraid.

46:50 Adam We're going to gamble. We'll gamble.

46:53 Guest All right.

46:53 Adam After this.

46:56 Drew Hello? Is this Loveline?

46:57 Caller Call 1-800-LOVE-191.

46:59 Guest Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back.

47:46 Guest Hey, everybody, it's Loveline.

47:49 Adam I'm Adam Corolla, it's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Jessica Cauffiel and Alanna Ubach are both here. Alanna was talking to me right as I was about to talk into my microphone, so did you have a question, Alanna?

48:05 Drew I was reading about Alanna, she was in the movie, she was in the movie John's with David Arquette, our brother.

48:10 Adam I remember that one. Boy, that was about five years old now.

48:15 Drew He was promoting it when he was on our MTV show, remember?

48:18 Adam He promoted it in here too, as I recall. Would you say I'd go-

48:22 Caller Three years.

48:24 Adam No, not three years.

48:25 Drew Four years?

48:25 Adam I'd go, it could be five.

48:27 Guest Yeah, it was about five years ago, I played my boyfriend in that.

48:30 Drew Wow.

48:31 Adam Yeah, I'd go 97.

48:33 Drew Adam was in here talking about actors one night.

48:37 Adam Yeah, this is a totally true story, and Drew, please back me up.

48:41 Drew I'm bringing it up, I brought it up.

48:43 Adam This is not one of those radio stories, but I was in here with, I don't remember who the guest was, do you, Drew? Just say no, please, we move on with the show. We had a guest on and we were talking about actors, and we were talking about some of them.

48:58 Drew No.

48:59 Guest Possibly.

49:00 Adam Talking about, okay, that really got us somewhere. Possibly Sugar Ray. And we were talking about how crazy certain people are. And I was trying to figure out whether it was an act, or they were really that nuts. And there's certain actors who just really seem insane. You know, guys like Christopher Walken, and guys like that. And I was saying that David Arquette is insane. He's been on the show a few times. I know him. I would even call him a friend.

49:25 Drew We said we love him. He's a great guy, but certifiable.

49:28 Adam Definitely.

49:28 Caller Hi, this is David Arquette.

49:30 Adam Right. Definitely, definitely insane. So, I was saying how nuts he was. It was just a show, like, just as if we'd started the show tonight. We're about four minutes into the show chatting with the guest. And the guest at some point piped up and said, hey, aren't you worried about talking about the guy? I mean, you know, what if he comes over here and kicks your ass? And I said, are you kidding? He's so nuts. He can't find this studio. Couldn't find his way here. It's a hard studio to find. He'd only been here once or twice back then, a few years ago.

49:59 Drew You know who it was? It was the Being John Malkovich cast.

50:02 Adam Oh, that's right.

50:03 Caller Yes.

50:05 Adam Mike Jones.

50:05 Drew Mike Jones and...

50:07 Guest Cusack?

50:08 Drew No, not Cusack.

50:08 Guest My boyfriend's in love with the lead.

50:10 Drew Catherine Keener.

50:11 Guest My boyfriend's in love with her.

50:13 Guest Catherine Keener.

50:13 Adam And we were talking about how nutty he was, and anyway, just moved on, took a phone call, and got about halfway into that phone call, and who came pouncing through the door? David Arquette. Right through the door, right here.

50:26 Caller Hi, this is David Arquette, and you're listening to Loveline with Adam Correra.

50:30 Adam That's right. I told you it was insane. Just call me Adam Correra. Correra? He was standing right there. And I mean, my jaw hit the floor. And I think for people listening, it seemed weird, but it was really eerie for us. I mean, you just bring a guy's name up, start talking about him, and turn over and look, and he's standing there. He wasn't due to come in. He hadn't come in. There was no reason to think in a million. I mean, for all I know, he's probably in Toronto filming a movie, and he walked right in through this door about three and a half minutes after I started talking about him.

51:01 Guest Was he angry?

51:02 Drew He tried to kick his ass.

51:04 Guest Was he maniacal?

51:05 Adam No, he just came in to prove he could find a place, and he wasn't insane. I immediately did some backpedaling and went, look, there's a difference between crazy and nuts. I said you're crazy. That's not bad at all. But it was really something I'll never forget on this show.

51:22 Drew Yeah, that was a second moment.

51:25 Adam All right, and so apparently he isn't too crazy because he was able to find the studio, no problem.

51:29 Guest Did you talk about when he had to collect?

51:31 Adam No, I should have been talking about that. Reggie?

51:35 Caller Yeah.

51:36 Adam All right, so Reggie the Lesbian.

51:38 Caller Yeah.

51:39 Adam Reggie, who is 13, has herself a girlfriend who's 17.

51:44 Drew Met at a billiard hall.

51:45 Adam And you guys have been girlfriend and girlfriend for how long?

51:49 Drew You're lesbian.

51:50 Adam Drew, please.

51:51 Caller For about four months.

51:53 Adam Four months?

51:54 Caller Yeah.

51:54 Adam Okay. And nothing physical yet?

51:58 Caller Yeah. But it wasn't good.

52:01 Adam I see.

52:01 Drew What wasn't good?

52:02 Adam The experience. And you're trying to have another physical experience with her? And you had the one that wasn't good, and you haven't had one since?

52:13 Caller Yeah.

52:13 Adam Okay. Should we do a little gambling?

52:15 Drew Real quick, what was not good about this experience?

52:18 Caller It just didn't seem too exciting. I can't get agree on this one.

52:25 Guest For both of you or for you or for her?

52:28 Caller It was mutual.

52:29 Caller Oh, for me.

52:30 Drew Yeah. Okay. All right.

52:31 Adam Now you got it? A little angry? Yeah. All right. Hold on, Reggie. But, Reggie, we're going to gamble on you, but when we come back, you have to be very truthful, right? Okay. All right. Hold on. All right. Now, as you know, when we gamble on a caller, we're gambling on their past. We know what's going on in the present day, and we're not so concerned about the future, but for gambling purposes, we want to know what made Reggie the Reggie of today. Was there abuse, sexual, physicals, alcoholism? Sometimes, the smart money is just on nothing. Everyone picks some crazy abuse, and you just say, parents still together, no abuse, and you win the pot. So, shall we get started? You guys got money on you? You got a dollar? Let me just throw a dollar here. Yeah? Everyone got that?

53:17 Drew I lost my dollar last night.

53:18 Adam Drew, what do you got?

53:19 Drew I lost the buck last night to you.

53:21 Adam Oh, yeah. I got Drew's dollar I'm gambling with. Look who found his ATM card, by the way. Yeah, that's 20.

53:29 Caller Oh, yeah.

53:31 Adam I'll buy you ladies some jewelry after this.

53:33 Guest Hello. Hudson Goodman.

53:35 Guest Harry Winston.

53:36 Guest Harry Winston, yeah.

53:38 Guest That's right.

53:38 Adam It's five bucks.

53:39 Guest Hudson Goodman.

53:40 Adam All right.

53:40 Guest Put the five out there.

53:42 Caller Maybe we can break that.

53:43 Adam Drew, what do you got?

53:44 Guest Greg Giverson.

53:45 Adam That's it? Just a five?

53:47 Guest I'm still scale plus 10. I have 50 cents.

53:49 Guest Here, you want to borrow a dollar?

53:50 Guest Yeah, thanks, darling.

53:51 Adam Yeah, let her borrow a dollar.

53:52 Guest She's going to put her panties in.

53:53 Adam Drew, you got no? Okay. Drew, put the five in there and take the pot, and we'll leave the five out there, right? Okay. Now, who wants to start? Shall I start? Okay, I'm going to start. Go to it. I'm going to say Reggie. She's a lesbian, a little angry. Now, what got her? A guy or a girl? Tough. Could have been the female babysitter. Could have been the stepdad, friend of stepdad. All right, I'm going to say when she was about seven years old, some sexual abuse from like a stepbrother, stepdad. Yeah? All right. What do you think? Alanna?

54:32 Guest Hmm. I think she was physically abused by her father. I'd say like a biological father was, I wouldn't exactly say sexually abused, but abused.

54:43 Adam Physical abuse.

54:44 Guest Yes. Just let down by a lot of men in her life.

54:47 Adam Solid. Jessica?

54:49 Guest I think it could be merely as simple as an intense verbal psychological abuse. Rejection by the father.

54:57 Drew Rejection by the father.

55:01 Adam That's sweet.

55:01 Drew Drew? I don't have a clear read on this one. All I get is that she needs, all she's told is that she needs arousal to sort of experience herself. It wasn't enough for her.

55:09 Adam Right.

55:10 Drew So either some kind of burnout of those systems through physical abuse, but I'm going to go the other direction, go like abandonment, like she either grew up in foster care or both parents like severe addicts.

55:20 Caller Just check that.

55:22 Adam Very solid. Very solid. Yeah, I'm starting to rethink my bet.

55:26 Guest A very evolved little lesbian.

55:28 Drew Well, who knows?

55:28 Adam Reggie. There's some raping going on here. Reggie.

55:33 Caller Yeah.

55:33 Adam Okay. So let's talk about your family. What went on over there?

55:39 Caller Well, when I was six, I got sexually abused by my brother.

55:45 Guest What did you call him?

55:45 Adam I said seven.

55:47 Caller And he was like, well, he just like molested me when I was really little. And later on, he would have sex with me.

55:59 Guest Right.

56:00 Caller I didn't really know what it was, so I just went along with it.

56:03 Adam How long did that go on?

56:05 Caller Until I was eight.

56:07 Adam That's funny. I said seven and it went six and eight.

56:10 Drew What's up with your parents? Where are they through all this?

56:13 Caller They go on business trips for months, like up to two months.

56:17 Drew That's the checked out piece.

56:19 Adam Yeah.

56:19 Caller Oh my gosh. All the people at home are, my brothers were watching me and the maid came in a couple times to clean the house.

56:25 Drew How old was the oldest brother?

56:28 Caller Well, he was 16.

56:31 Drew Oh my God.

56:32 Adam He was 16 when-

56:33 Guest I'm so sorry.

56:34 Adam When you were six, he did this and he was 16?

56:38 Drew What kind of parents were your parents? Were they abusive in any way?

56:41 Caller No, they were wonderful.

56:43 Drew No, no. They were not wonderful. I'm sorry. I can't even tolerate hearing you say that.

56:49 Caller They didn't yell at me or anything.

56:51 Drew They just weren't available. They weren't there.

56:53 Caller They were checked out.

56:54 Adam Yeah. What kind of business trips were they going on for two months at a time?

56:59 Caller My dad does a lot of lawyer stuff and my mom, she does, she goes out for salons and brings back stuff.

57:09 Adam And they would go out two months at a time?

57:12 Caller Well, my mom, she wouldn't stay out that long. She would stay maybe a couple weeks.

57:17 Drew Who do you think sexually abused your brother?

57:20 Caller Nobody.

57:21 Drew No, somebody did.

57:22 Adam Nothing. What's he doing now?

57:24 Drew Time.

57:26 Caller Well, he still lives with us, but we don't talk about it.

57:30 Adam Did anybody ever find out about this?

57:33 Caller No.

57:34 Adam No. Okay. And have you ever gotten any therapy?

57:38 Caller No.

57:39 Drew You need to report this, Reggie. You do.

57:42 Adam Yeah.

57:43 Immediately.

57:45 Guest So you've never felt comfortable enough with your parents communicating that you felt open enough to share your feelings?

57:51 Caller No, I don't talk about that stuff.

57:53 Guest Has your brother recently tried to sexually abuse you?

57:57 Caller No, he doesn't.

57:59 Drew We don't. This is all having profound effect on you now, Reggie, and you've got to get some help with this. Even if you don't want to tell your parents about specifically what happened, you've got to go talk to a therapist or a mental health professional about what has gone on. Or you're really in for a world of hurt, because things are not going to get better from here, they're going to get worse.

58:16 Guest Yeah, this calls the beginning of helping yourself for forever, for the rest of your life.

58:21 Adam Is your brother 21 now?

58:23 Caller He's getting ready to be 22.

58:24 Adam Is he thinking about getting out of the house soon?

58:28 Caller Well, he's finding an apartment right now.

58:32 Adam That's thinking about getting out of the house. That's good, right?

58:36 Caller Yeah.

58:36 Adam Are you glad he's going?

58:39 Caller Well, yeah, but I don't talk to him. I've never talked to him. I don't really talk to him or communicate with him, so to me, him being home, I just always leave.

58:49 Drew Reggie, you are just so shut down emotionally. You know, I'm sure that's just how you deal with this, is by climbing into that shell. That is not a healthy place for you to stay. You need help climbing out of that so you can begin to really develop a sense of who you are and what you want from life. There's still lots of time.

59:06 Adam All right, so listen, Reggie, don't worry about this 17-year-old who is supposed to love you right now. You've got to get a little counseling, a little therapy, and work out some of these problems so you can have a good life.

59:17 Guest And love yourself.

59:18 Guest Yeah, start healing.

59:20 Adam All right. Will you do that, please?

59:23 Caller Yeah.

59:24 Adam Seriously, because I don't trust anybody who's going to be a high school senior who is seriously dating someone who's in the seventh or eighth grade. That's ridiculous, unless it's a guy.

59:35 Guest It's just a distraction before you really start working on yourself and, you know.

59:39 Drew Do you know where to go to get help?

59:43 Caller No.

59:43 Drew Lauren, we're there. Do we have an Oklahoma referral source?

59:48 Adam All right. We're going to put you on hold, Reggie. Don't hang up. We're going to put you on hold and we'll give you a number of something that's in your community.

59:54 Guest It takes a lot of courage to make that call.

59:56 Guest Yeah, it does.

59:57 Caller Wow.

59:58 Guest You see, it took her three seconds to admit to you guys what was really going on.

1:00:01 Guest A lot of courage, Reggie. That's the first step.

1:00:02 Drew This is why people sort of get incensed by the fact that we gamble. We gamble because had we gone to her, were you ever sexually abused? She goes, no, no. Well, yeah, but it has nothing to do with this. As opposed to us saying, not only we know you were, and it's causing what's going on here, we'll bet we know that.

1:00:20 Guest They give you a nebulous answer and then you finally get it out of them.

1:00:22 Drew Right. It's that they would defend against it being connected with what's going on now. Now they can't deny it.

1:00:27 Adam We gamble for that and so I can get more carnauba wax for my Jack, which is, this is going to go very nicely, Drew. Thank you. It's a pleasure doing business with you guys.

1:00:36 Guest You guys know my first thought was the brother and I denied it and they asked to go with your instinct. I had this brother thing come through my head and I was like, no, it's a brother, a friend of the brother.

1:00:46 Adam Two nights in a row, Drusky.

1:00:48 Drew That's good.

1:00:48 Adam Now, who's the expert? That's going to be the name of my next part.

1:00:51 Drew Adam, if I go first, maybe I would say I'm going to take him.

1:00:56 Adam How dare you? You insist on going last so you can feel everyone else out for their answers.

1:01:01 Drew No, lately it's been backfiring. Have I not said good calls every time you've come up with them?

1:01:05 Adam Well, of course you say that to cover yourself because you're weak. I said seven and it went on from six to eight.

1:01:14 Drew I was impressed.

1:01:15 Adam Wheelhouse, baby. Sally, Alanna, you want me more now, right?

1:01:20 Caller Antithesis is so evolved.

1:01:22 Adam If that was possible.

1:01:23 Guest You didn't even give a knuckle scraping.

1:01:26 Guest Very evolved.

1:01:27 Guest Cro-Magnon with a baseball cap. But sexy.

1:01:31 Adam Thank you. Sally? Yeah.

1:01:33 Guest An ethnic like myself.

1:01:34 Adam Yeah. I got that going. See these eyebrows? Sally?

1:01:38 Guest Yeah.

1:01:38 Adam You're 28. What's up?

1:01:40 Caller What's up?

1:01:41 Guest I just wanted to call him. I heard that Alanna was on.

1:01:45 Guest Hey. Hey.

1:01:47 Guest I'm so excited because Alanna, I am in love with you and I'm a lesbian.

1:01:53 Guest Well, congratulations.

1:01:56 Drew It's all about love.

1:01:57 Guest She's almost converted me, Sally. It's rough.

1:01:59 Guest And we are all brothers and sisters.

1:02:00 Drew Let me tell you.

1:02:01 Guest I've touched her.

1:02:02 Guest Are you a proud lesbian?

1:02:04 Guest I'm a proud lesbian.

1:02:05 Guest That's fantastic.

1:02:05 Guest Well, you're saying it on the air.

1:02:07 Guest And I also wanted to ask you, I mean, you know, I know I heard Adam Corolla, he was talking about, you know, earlier about people calling in and or if you like somebody and if you bring up a topic, you know, they're not going to walk away. They're going to listen to you regardless of what it is.

1:02:23 Adam Right.

1:02:24 Guest So I've been thinking, I've been, you know, trying to mull over my head like how many topics I can talk to you about, you know, or ask if you like, you know, like the mountain biking, the you know, the underwater basket weaving, the you know, do you like?

1:02:40 Adam Hey, Sally, you drunk, baby?

1:02:43 Guest No, no, no, no, not at all.

1:02:44 Adam Really?

1:02:44 Caller Not at all, not at all.

1:02:46 Guest I am completely sober.

1:02:47 Adam And you have you have no girlfriend.

1:02:49 Guest I have no girlfriend. I'm just home with my my roommate eating frozen grapes. Thinking of Alanna.

1:02:55 Guest Thank you so much. Oh, that's fantastic.

1:02:56 Guest Well, I'm sitting next to her and touching her thigh. How does that make you feel? Oh, I know.

1:03:00 Guest I can't wait to see the you blonde, because if it's any match to your performance, the Brady Bunch movie.

1:03:09 Adam Oh, yes.

1:03:09 Guest Oh, yeah.

1:03:10 Guest Oh my.

1:03:11 Guest You know, thank you so much.

1:03:13 Guest Sally, right?

1:03:13 Guest I want to tell you, Alanna, that, I mean, I have to do a footnote here that the movie that you were in with Leslie Ann Warren, I mean, I'm shaking because I'm so nervous. I mean, that's the first time I ever saw you in a movie. And I just have to tell you that you looked absolutely like amazing in that movie.

1:03:34 Guest Gosh, thank you.

1:03:36 Guest Someone's about to be reformed.

1:03:38 Adam What movie with Leslie Ann Warren? The Great Train Robbery?

1:03:41 Caller What movie?

1:03:42 Guest All of it?

1:03:43 Adam Oh.

1:03:44 Guest Marriage Material.

1:03:45 Guest Marriage Material.

1:03:46 Guest Wow.

1:03:46 Guest That's exactly right. Oh, thank you. That was the start of my love affair with you.

1:03:50 Guest You're so cool.

1:03:52 Guest You're so cool and I wanted to thank you.

1:03:54 Adam Sally. Sally.

1:03:56 Guest Yes.

1:03:57 Adam This is the guy with the penis talking. Hi. I know you don't like me instinctually, but have you ever masturbated to Alanna?

1:04:06 Guest What do you think? I'm eating frozen, not frozen strawberries, but I'm eating frozen grapes right now. What do you think?

1:04:12 Adam Frozen grapes.

1:04:13 Guest Well, if that tells a lot.

1:04:16 Adam Hold on a second. I gotta tell you, I gotta be real honest and I know this is not gonna come across too good, but sometimes I drive home late at night and I think, geez, I wonder if anyone can do this job. I wonder if I can be replaced. What makes you so funny? Why do you get the big bucks? And then I talk to some of our callers and I go, I'll do this job for 150 years. I'll do this job eight years after I'm dead and still get better rates. I'm eating frozen grapes. What do you think? Well, everyone knows a cliché about the lesbians and the fantasies of frozen grapes.

1:04:44 Guest It's as old as time itself.

1:04:47 Adam I have no idea what Sally's saying. And then switch from strawberry to grape halfway.

1:04:52 Guest Eating frozen grapes, it's all about the fruit. Right. All fixation.

1:04:57 Adam All right, babe, so I'm getting at it. Would that be a yes then?

1:05:01 Guest Yes, that would be a huge yes.

1:05:04 Guest Hey, there's another better than safe sex. You know what I'm saying? I know what you're saying, honey. Masturbating to me is absolutely fine, as long as you're a very proud lesbian.

1:05:11 Guest Can I tell Sally something? Watch my films. Sure, go ahead. Sally, hey Sally, there was actually a scene in Legally Blonde where Alana and I were in our underwear and Reese comes home crying and we were caught just getting out of the shower in our underwear and my hair was wet and Alana had cream bleach on her lip and rollers in her hair. And when Reese originally walked in down the hall, Alana and I were making out up against the door. Do you remember that? Every take started with us making out and they were like, girls, you really, PG-13.

1:05:39 Guest Oh my God, I'm like shaking.

1:05:41 Guest And the entire thing got cut and we were in our panties reclining on a bed with Reese and we were with wet hair and it was very naughty.

1:05:47 Guest Oh my God, the wet hair, oh my God.

1:05:48 Guest So wait for the DVD, maybe they'll have that in there, Alana in her panties.

1:05:52 Guest I hope, your mouth of God's ears.

1:05:53 Guest Tight little body.

1:05:54 Adam All right, Sally. Hey Sally, are you calling from the San Fernando Valley?

1:05:58 Guest I'm calling from the San Fernando Valley.

1:06:00 Guest Where?

1:06:01 Guest I'm calling from Granada Hills.

1:06:02 Guest No, that hell hole.

1:06:04 Adam All right, enjoy the summer over there.

1:06:06 Guest All right.

1:06:07 Guest Work it Sally. Excuse me. Work it baby.

1:06:09 Guest All right.

1:06:11 Guest Astro Glide, second only to nature.

1:06:14 Adam Oh my gosh. You gals would be up for a little experimentation.

1:06:17 Guest Glass dildos.

1:06:18 Adam Nothing wrong with that.

1:06:19 Guest Totally bound part two. Hey, Gina Gershon, she's busy right now.

1:06:23 Guest We need to do it in Korean.

1:06:24 Caller Yeah.

1:06:27 Guest Bend over.

1:06:28 Adam Jessica? Yeah. Not this Jessica, the caller Jessica, sorry. Jessica?

1:06:34 Guest My namesake.

1:06:35 Adam You're 15?

1:06:36 Caller Yeah.

1:06:37 Adam What's up?

1:06:38 Caller I was wondering if it's possible to get pregnant by anal sex.

1:06:45 Adam Well, you're lucky we just gambled, Jessica. Now, Drew always wants to gamble, and I always want to gamble too when we hear someone who's 15 and sounds like this.

1:06:53 Guest Are you out of your mind?

1:06:57 Adam Jessica? Yes. Are you a very small person?

1:07:03 Caller Like, what do you mean?

1:07:04 Drew Well, first of all, we're talking to somebody who hasn't gone through puberty yet. That's part of the voice.

1:07:08 Adam Have you not gone through puberty, Jessica?

1:07:10 Caller No, yes, I have. I just have a small voice, I guess.

1:07:14 Caller I see.

1:07:15 Adam You ever get molested?

1:07:16 Caller No.

1:07:17 Adam No? Nothing weird like did your dad die when you were five?

1:07:20 Guest No.

1:07:21 Adam Nothing traumatic when you were younger?

1:07:24 Caller No, not that I know of.

1:07:25 Guest And who's this person you're seeing?

1:07:28 Drew How old is he?

1:07:29 Guest How old is he?

1:07:30 Caller 17.

1:07:31 Adam 17. And are you a virgin?

1:07:33 Caller No.

1:07:34 Adam And you want to have anal sex with him?

1:07:37 Caller Well, I have.

1:07:38 Adam Oh, you have? And you're worried about getting pregnant?

1:07:41 Caller Well, yeah.

1:07:43 Adam And if you get pregnant, what the kid's going to look like? No.

1:07:47 Guest Do you, do you listen in sex ed?

1:07:50 Guest You are having unsafe anal sex with him?

1:07:52 Caller Yeah.

1:07:52 Guest That's wrong.

1:07:54 Guest Are you his first partner?

1:07:56 Caller No.

1:07:56 Adam Do you go to school?

1:07:58 Caller Yeah.

1:07:59 Adam You, and this is a LA call, by the way, this LA. Unified School District. That's what I'm a product of right here. And do you take science or sex ed or biology?

1:08:11 Caller Well, I, yeah.

1:08:12 Adam Yeah. They don't, uh...

1:08:13 Caller I was not, well, I wasn't really in class all that much.

1:08:17 Adam Oh, I see. I see.

1:08:18 Guest Hey, what, what, how's your relationship with your parents?

1:08:22 Caller Well, it, well, it used to be kind of bad, but we're kind of working on it.

1:08:26 Adam Oh, that's good. All right. Well, Jessica, you, you can't get pregnant from the anal sex.

1:08:32 Caller Okay.

1:08:32 Adam Far as I know. But, uh, other bad things can happen via the anal sex.

1:08:37 Drew You can get STDs and things, right?

1:08:40 Adam Oh, yeah. Your, your, your soul can be damaged as we've learned on this show.

1:08:45 Guest There you go.

1:08:46 Adam Yeah. Do you like this?

1:08:49 Caller Kind of, not really.

1:08:51 Adam You know, it's funny. I never thought I'd be in this position. Hold on a second. Where I have conversations, much like the conversation I remember the mall Santa having with me when I was five.

1:09:00 Drew Yeah.

1:09:01 Adam Except for about anal sex.

1:09:02 Drew Yeah.

1:09:02 Adam You know, he was like, does it feel bad when the man hammers you in the ass? I see. I see. But you realize you cannot. Yes. You've been a good little girl. You cannot get pregnant from the man putting his hoo-ha in your poop shoot though. You know that, right? It's weird you're having these bizarre adolescent conversation, these conversations like you're talking to retarded four-year-olds except for, it's not about fire trucks and ninja turtles.

1:09:32 Guest It's about anal sex.

1:09:35 Adam So it's really kind of bad because it's like they're having the anal sex but from their mentality is like a nine-year-old, that's a bad sign for a girl.

1:09:45 Guest God, I thought I would know what happened in her childhood that led her to this.

1:09:48 Guest Oh, look.

1:09:49 Drew She's not going to tell us.

1:09:50 Adam I don't got time. Jessica?

1:09:52 Drew Why don't you call Planned Parenthood and get yourself on some birth control and really if you're going to be doing these things prepare for them because you're in for a world of hurt.

1:10:00 Adam Are you on birth control, Jessica? No. And you're having regular sex with your boyfriend?

1:10:07 Drew You're going to get pregnant. Okay.

1:10:09 Adam You understand? And you'll just be one of these many statistics. I like to yell at via the microphone on this show. And we don't want that to happen, right?

1:10:17 Drew No.

1:10:18 Adam So go down to Planned Parenthood and get yourself some birth control. You now must be responsible enough to do that. You may not be a full blown woman yet, but if you're having anal sex, that makes you a woman in my book, and you have to start acting like one.

1:10:35 Drew And generally, just slow down. Slow down in general. I think you're getting into stuff that... I think you're going to get hurt through all this eventually.

1:10:42 Guest Okay.

1:10:42 Adam All right. Now remember, birth control. You will get pregnant.

1:10:46 Guest Condoms. And you don't need to do anything you don't want to do, Jessica. If you don't like it, don't do it.

1:10:50 Adam Right. Unless I ask you. Understand?

1:10:52 Caller Yes.

1:10:53 Adam Okay.

1:10:53 Caller Thanks.

1:10:54 Adam All right.

1:10:56 Guest Oh, my.

1:10:57 Adam Now, here's the real, here's the real scary part. A year from now, she will be mama to some kid and you wonder what kind of shot that kid is going to have.

1:11:08 Caller How was that kid conceived?

1:11:09 Guest A child.

1:11:10 Adam Yes. And I'm guessing, I'm guessing if you check back on her lineage, you'll find some of the same stuff.

1:11:17 Drew Wow.

1:11:18 Adam All right. Let's go kill ourselves. And then if the bullet does not hit any major organs, we'll be back after this.

1:11:59 Guest All right, this show, it's Loveline.

1:12:04 Drew They're getting into the groove here at Loveline. Starting to act like we're Loveline guests.

1:12:08 Guest That's right.

1:12:10 Adam Yeah, the girls are in. Jessica and Alanna are both here from Legally Blonde, which is coming out this week.

1:12:17 Guest Oh boy.

1:12:18 Adam Jessica, you cannot eat that pretzel into the microphone.

1:12:21 Guest I'm not going to eat it, I'm just going to suck on it.

1:12:24 Adam You may suck on it and you may ingest it rectally, but you may not chew on it into the microphone. That is the deal.

1:12:33 Guest I'll just lick the salt.

1:12:35 Adam That's fine. I have no problem with that.

1:12:37 Guest Hi, Alan.

1:12:39 Adam Who?

1:12:40 Guest I love you, Greg Zola.

1:12:42 Adam Oh, you guys give me shout outs now.

1:12:44 Guest I'm going to shout out to a piece of New York City coil.

1:12:47 Caller Whatever.

1:12:48 Guest Yeah.

1:12:48 Adam Will?

1:12:49 Caller Yes, sir.

1:12:50 Adam You're 25?

1:12:51 Caller Yeah.

1:12:51 Adam What's up?

1:12:53 Caller I just wanted to make a little observation, if you didn't mind, and also get Dr. Drew's opinion.

1:12:57 Adam Sure.

1:12:58 Caller The young lady that just called in, the 15-year-old in LA. County. Right. I think, you know, although most people that do call your show and have questions, I've been listening for a long time, by the way, love the show, love the two sides of masculinity that both of you represent. I just think that, you know, not everybody has probably a sob story behind. Maybe for this girl, she's just one of those who's kind of fallen through the cracks and not been educated because of lack of parenting and that's probably a good part of it. Being that she's so naive, she probably doesn't have much to hide, I mean, would you agree? That's a good point.

1:13:29 Drew Well, there's a couple things. Well, one is, you know, that parenting that is that deficient is abandoning and is traumatic, but I don't think it is even that. I think you're right. I think it is just that there are certain, even cultures...

1:13:42 Caller Especially Southern California.

1:13:44 Drew Yeah, where 15-year-olds are encouraged to get pregnant. We don't take that into account. And her mom may have been pregnant at 15, and this may be part of her culture to start getting involved with older men. And this man may be a little bit urging her into activities that are not good for her. She doesn't like... And she just doesn't know how to negotiate that.

1:14:00 Caller Not only that, she doesn't have the responsibility to make that decision yet. She hasn't reached that level of maturity. I think it's important for most young girls out there in her situation to realize that there's a time and place for everything, and 15 isn't the time to start having anal sex with 17-year-old boys.

1:14:15 Drew Hear, hear.

1:14:16 Caller Right.

1:14:16 Adam 15 and a half, 16. That's a different story.

1:14:18 Caller Enjoy it when you know what an orgasm is about. Or enjoy it at least when you know what an orgasm is about.

1:14:22 Adam Thanks, Will.

1:14:23 Caller Yeah, I appreciate you guys' time.

1:14:25 Adam Good times. And listen, I hate to say this, but for someone who hates to say it, I say it almost every night. Never underestimate the stupid. There's a lot of dumb people, and they're out there, and that's fine. People never do that. We want to talk about everything but dumb. We want to talk about education all the time. We want to talk about parenting. Some people have themselves a little 1.34 banger for a brain, and some people got themselves a big block V8, and when you got just a little 4-banger, life is tough. It's hard to pull that rig up the hill with that size brain, and we talk to those people all the time. And don't worry about those people. They don't know they're stupid. That's part of being stupid, and it's what makes us smart in a relative way. So let's not try to discourage that. That's what I'm saying. Brittany?

1:15:15 Caller Hello?

1:15:16 Adam You're 15?

1:15:17 Caller Hi.

1:15:17 Adam Hey.

1:15:18 Caller I just wanted to thank you guys. I called here before.

1:15:21 Caller It was a question about ephedra.

1:15:22 Caller Oh. Yeah. And Dr. Drew told me how bad it was, and I didn't do it.

1:15:27 Adam Yay.

1:15:27 Caller And then I went to a dietitian, and my doctor told me to try this exercise plan called Tybalt. I did it today. It's fantastic.

1:15:36 Guest Alanna just did that today.

1:15:38 Adam You did Tybalt?

1:15:39 Guest Yeah, we were talking about it in the car.

1:15:40 Caller And so far I lost about 15 pounds.

1:15:42 Adam Yay. There we go.

1:15:44 Guest That's the healthy way to do it.

1:15:45 Adam Let me tell you something about this Tybalt, by the way. This Tybalt, I used to teach boxing, and Tybalt is, and I used to kickbox way back when. I never taught that, but Tybalt is kickboxing minus the bag. I mean, this has been going on for years and years and years. It's just basic punches and basic kicks, and the only difference is instead of hitting a bag, you just sort of do it in front of the mirror and do it in place. But every boxing class and every kickboxing class I've been involved with did at least a half hour of this before you got into anything. And so every time I see the commercial, and I see them throwing those punches and doing the basic, you know, front ball kicks and side kicks and stuff, I just think this is 50 years old.

1:16:26 Drew Repackaging.

1:16:28 Adam It is renamed, repackaged, and now it's something. But I used to teach these classes when they weren't Tybalt. They were just, we just called it boxing. Brittany?

1:16:39 Caller Yeah?

1:16:40 Adam Are you watching the tapes?

1:16:42 Caller No, I have the tapes in my room. I usually do them in the morning.

1:16:46 Adam That's what I'm asking. You do the Tybalt with the tape?

1:16:49 Caller Yeah, all of them.

1:16:50 Drew The other thing is this will be a way to keep Wade off, too, and it's a much more successful way to go. You're going to be much happier.

1:16:56 Caller And in the videos, he's really nice and everything. Sure.

1:16:59 Caller He keeps getting me through it.

1:17:01 Adam Yeah.

1:17:01 Drew Cool.

1:17:02 Adam He doesn't cuss you out, call you a bitch.

1:17:05 Drew Well, you should go on a series of videos, Adam. You'd be perfect for that. I really should.

1:17:10 Adam You bitch!

1:17:11 Guest Nude Tybo. A nude Tybo.

1:17:14 Guest Dwarf and Rush.

1:17:16 Drew Tybo your ass.

1:17:17 Adam I was a fantastic boxing instructor. I was very motivational to my students. Thank you, Brittany.

1:17:24 Drew Good luck, Brittany. Take care.

1:17:25 Adam My class was the least attended of all the classes. Is that right? Yeah.

1:17:30 Guest Hollywood Boxing Gym?

1:17:31 Adam I used to teach at Bodies in Motion. There was a handful of them out here in the Southland and the average, the classes averaged about 20, 25 people a class depending on whether it was a night class or an afternoon class.

1:17:45 Drew Except yours.

1:17:46 Adam My average about six, six guys a class. Very hardcore though. Used to teach the 6:30 AM class in Pasadena. It was good times.

1:17:56 Caller Glamorous.

1:17:57 Adam Yeah, it was great.

1:17:58 Caller 20 bucks a class.

1:18:01 Adam It was big bucks. 20 bucks a class. Take the taxes out. Had a couple of private students. That was good. I'd just get in a ring and let them beat me up. That was 20 bucks an hour. That seemed like pretty good money to me back then. I mean, 20 bucks. Yeah, it was good times. You remember, well, we know some of those people. Drew used to go to that gym, didn't you?

1:18:21 Drew Yeah.

1:18:21 Adam Still do?

1:18:22 Drew No.

1:18:22 Adam No, not anymore. All right. Let's talk to Ethan, who's 25. Ethan?

1:18:28 Caller Hey.

1:18:28 Adam Hey.

1:18:29 Caller Good evening.

1:18:30 Adam What's up?

1:18:30 Caller Dr. Drew, I got a question for you.

1:18:32 Drew You're gay, right? I'm listening.

1:18:34 Caller I'm sorry?

1:18:35 Drew I'm listening.

1:18:36 Caller Okay. Well, here's the situation. My girlfriend is traveling in Europe, and she calls me like every other day and stays in touch, and she gets home on Wednesday. Well, I talked to her this weekend, and she told me that she's been in the hospital with a rash in her groin area and across her thighs, like in her vaginal area, and it's like going back toward her, like her butt, and it's like she describes them as blisters. Now, I'm sorry? No. Obviously, I mean, I'm thinking kind of the same thing that like anybody else would think, but I want to make sure that, like, it could be anything other than like some sexually transmitted disease?

1:19:19 Drew Well, sure. Again, as always, it's hard to comment on dermatologic illnesses, but blistering diseases are usually pretty significant, and they don't have to be herpes. Remember, that's the only blistering STD. And to have something symmetrical going on to the thighs, I mean, there's all kinds of things. There are systemic diseases that can present like that. It can be allergic, or something called bullous pemphigoid. There's all kinds of things.

1:19:42 Guest Is she a bad lobster?

1:19:43 Adam Is she in Europe?

1:19:44 Caller Yeah, she is. And she's like on this small little island in the Mediterranean. They don't have anything there for hospitals. And so she couldn't, at least this is what she's telling me. She couldn't understand what the doctor was saying. So they took her to, or she went over to Athens to like a normal hospital. And actually she's supposed to be there this morning. It's morning right now there.

1:20:03 Adam What is she doing over there without you?

1:20:07 Caller Good question. She just, she just vacationed, just traveling.

1:20:10 Drew Did she take any medications or anything that she had never taken before?

1:20:13 Caller No, no. I'm pretty, I don't know if I'm trying to convince myself that she's like cheating on me or something.

1:20:21 Drew Ethan, Ethan, I'm going to ask you to drop all that, okay? This could be a serious medical condition.

1:20:27 Caller Yeah, well.

1:20:28 Drew Okay, forget about your male ego for a second and realize that this is pretty significant eruption. This is not about STD. This is about something. If you're lucky, this will be an allergic reaction.

1:20:39 Caller Allergic to what though?

1:20:41 Drew I mean, maybe something in the brush. Who knows?

1:20:44 Guest Jessica, raise your hand. Yeah, I lived in Bali in Indonesia for two months, a couple of years ago, and I had two different rashes, one on my legs and I had one, sing it girls. So I dig it, I had one of my arms at one point and I couldn't understand anything the doctor was saying and he gave me some pill and it went away and I also had a blistering rash on my left leg and it was an allergic reaction merely to the environment. I have allergic reactions here in America and the things in the air are so vastly different that there's, since we're not acclimated to that area.

1:21:21 Drew There's plants, there's insects, all kinds of things, but this is a serious deal and it needs to be...

1:21:25 Caller But my problem, it's not like on her arm or her thigh, it's not on her leg, it's like her vaginal area.

1:21:32 Drew Well, no, it's her thighs, she said, the thighs and groin.

1:21:35 Caller Yeah, thighs and groin.

1:21:37 Drew That's sort of a typical, one of the typical places for drug eruptions. So she may be taking something of vitamin or who knows what that she wasn't thinking would...

1:21:44 Adam Oh really?

1:21:45 Drew It hasn't even occurred to her yet that could be causing this, so who knows? But this could be also something very serious, so it needs to be... Hold on to your past judgment.

1:21:55 Adam Are you gay anyway? I mean, what do you care?

1:21:58 Caller Am I gay?

1:21:59 Adam Really? You're not bi at least?

1:22:02 Caller Adam, that may be more reflection on you that you would ask me that question than me.

1:22:07 Guest Adam's been told before, it's jelly got cold.

1:22:08 Adam Ever been with a guy?

1:22:10 Caller No, I haven't.

1:22:11 Guest He's bisexual.

1:22:12 Adam Never thought about it, huh?

1:22:13 Caller No, never thought about it.

1:22:15 Adam Alright.

1:22:15 Caller Yeah.

1:22:16 Adam Alright.

1:22:16 Caller What, in my voice?

1:22:18 Adam No, you know, it's your cadence and inflection.

1:22:20 Guest Are you an actor?

1:22:22 Caller No, not an actor.

1:22:23 Adam Alright. When does she come back into town?

1:22:26 Caller She comes back on Wednesday.

1:22:28 Adam Okay. Well listen, listen to me Ethan.

1:22:30 Drew Get her to proper care. Forget about the STD thing. That is not, that's not the kinds of illnesses I'm thinking of.

1:22:36 Adam And here's the deal. If in fact what she has is a legitimate medical prom and is not an STD, not that they're not legitimate, but you know what I'm saying. And you treat her as if it is she will never be done hating you. She will make you pay. Let me tell you, I don't know a lot about women, but I'll tell you a couple of things I've learned. They give you a couple of opportunities maybe once or twice a year. Somebody kicks off in the family. They get fired from their job. Something traumatic. And by the way, for women, almost everything falls under the heading of trauma. But once in a while something comes up. That is your occasion, men, to step up, do the handholding, send the flowers, nod the head, and give them the hug. If you drop the ball, they will kick your nuts around for the next year.

1:23:26 Drew Don't ask for sex during that time.

1:23:29 Adam I'm telling you, I don't care how distant the relative is. If they kick off, you do that, my poor dear, that must be so horrible for you. I'm sending some flowers to work. I don't need any sex, maybe a quick hand job, but no intercourse. Please I insist on attending the funeral. I don't care if it's in Kentucky, I'm getting plane tickets. All you gotta do is do that, you'll come through, she'll love you forever or hate you forever, depending on how you react.

1:23:55 Guest Yeah, but just really think about how she's feeling. This is embarrassing. And the fact that she told you, I mean, it's admitting a lot, this is kind of shameful and embarrassing to her. Put yourself in her shoes and how it feels. And imagine if you had gone over to some foreign country and this happened to you and you came back and she was, you know, and you were immediately accused of that, like that's shameful. Right, right. Be gentle with her. Give her the benefit of the day.

1:24:15 Drew Yeah, all you can do is really be there for her. I will bet you all it never occurred to her he would leap to that kind of a conclusion. That's why she was up front with it.

1:24:22 Guest Have you been faithful?

1:24:24 Adam Yeah. I'm almost sure it wasn't from a guy named Mustafa, who had some fomite in his beard and when he was going down on her, it entered an open lesion that was already on her thigh. Don't think that way. We're going to take a break and we'll be back.

1:25:14 Guest Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, this is Dr. Drew.

1:25:17 Adam Brooke Burke is in here tomorrow night from E's Wild On. She is a very attractive looking brunette girl who's taken over for Jules Aznar probably about a year ago on Wild On, which I see when I come home at night, about 12.30.

1:25:32 Drew We had Jules Aznar up here, didn't we, at one point?

1:25:35 Adam Don't know.

1:25:36 Drew Okay. Yes, we did.

1:25:38 Adam I'm going with yes, then. Jessica Cauffiel is our guest tonight, along with Alanna Ubach, both from Legally Blonde, which is coming out this Friday, everybody. And it'll be a very wide release. You've seen all the commercials. So it'll be in a theater near you. And we suggest you go see it. All right. Now, let's see. We'll get back to Brandon, who's 20. Brandon? Yeah. What's the problem?

1:26:06 Guest Well, I want to hook up with this chick. She's 17 and she's pregnant with her ex-boyfriend.

1:26:15 Guest Does she want to hook up with you?

1:26:18 Guest What's that?

1:26:18 Guest Does she want to hook up with you?

1:26:21 Guest Well, I don't know for sure.

1:26:24 Adam How do you know her?

1:26:27 Guest She used to stop by my old job and just like come in for pretty much any reason.

1:26:34 Adam Just oil change in a lube, baby. What was your old job?

1:26:40 Guest Big O Tires.

1:26:45 Adam You guys do oil changes over there?

1:26:48 Drew At the Big O?

1:26:50 Guest Yeah.

1:26:51 Guest Yeah.

1:26:52 Adam So when I said oil change in a lube, I wasn't too far off, huh?

1:26:56 Guest Well, pretty much, yeah.

1:26:58 Adam Never ceases me how unimpressed my callers are with my clairvoyant skill.

1:27:04 Guest Yeah.

1:27:05 Adam All right. So you're working over at the Big O. You guys put a balance, new valve stems, do the alignment, put them right back on the rig, and they're on their way, right?

1:27:14 Guest Yeah.

1:27:14 Adam Yeah, that's a good time. All right. Well, I can see why she's attracted to you. Brandon is Mr. Personality over here. When she would come by there, why would she come by there?

1:27:29 Guest Well, I guess to see me.

1:27:31 Adam Oh, really?

1:27:33 Guest Yeah. She started?

1:27:34 Adam Yeah.

1:27:35 Guest I had a few days off and I guess she stopped by and if I was there asked about me and all that.

1:27:42 Adam I see. So she knew you, but she just knew you from there?

1:27:47 Guest Yeah. Ever since I quit, she hasn't been stopping by there.

1:27:51 Adam So tire groupie.

1:27:53 Caller Rubber groupie.

1:27:55 Adam And in Brandon is how far along is she in her pregnancy?

1:28:01 Guest I talked to her yesterday and she's like telling me that she's like five months long.

1:28:06 Drew Where's the dad?

1:28:08 Guest What's that?

1:28:08 Drew Where's the dad?

1:28:12 Guest Somewhere in town here. I don't know.

1:28:15 Adam Okay. So he's a lot and are they not together?

1:28:22 Guest No. They're broke up.

1:28:24 Drew Uh-huh. What are you asking us for?

1:28:26 Adam And by the way, it's broke up.

1:28:28 Drew Broke. Done broke up.

1:28:29 Adam Done broke up.

1:28:29 Guest I've seen Smoky in the Banjo.

1:28:32 Adam And so now do you think, here's a tough question. You think she would like you if she wasn't pregnant or do you think she's feeling a little bit vulnerable looking for a man?

1:28:41 Guest She could be looking for a father.

1:28:43 Guest I don't know.

1:28:45 Drew What are you asking of us tonight? What's your question?

1:28:49 Guest I just want to get your guy's ideas how to hook up with her. I mean, I don't really care that she's pregnant or anything.

1:28:55 Guest Well, if you do in the butt, she can't get pregnant again.

1:28:58 Drew Jessica, very delicate point.

1:29:00 Adam Learn that in finishing school.

1:29:03 Guest No one in the butt.

1:29:04 Adam No, Brandon, I think this is a good time to swoop down and score.

1:29:09 Drew Yeah, but by hook up, do you mean form a relationship or do you mean just hook up?

1:29:14 Guest Like form a relationship.

1:29:15 Adam I see. I'll tell you, let me give you my take on this. This is a girl, and this may sound a little cruel, but this is a girl who may not be looking Brandon's way, but her number's been lowered a couple of notches by her vulnerable situation.

1:29:34 Guest Lost major points.

1:29:35 Adam Now, Brandon, being a smart guy, is sliding in and getting himself a number that's a little higher because there's a little downtime here, and can come across like the world's greatest guy if he just hangs in, does all that, I'm going to be daddy and all that kind of stuff. But Brandon, keep in mind, this is a girl who's 17 and pregnant and not with a dad, and probably has a little chaos going in her life.

1:30:02 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:30:04 Adam And could bring that chaos into your life too.

1:30:07 Drew But we're sort of giving it a passing blessing.

1:30:10 Adam All right. Do you have a phone number?

1:30:12 Drew You talked to her tonight.

1:30:13 Guest Hey, take her to a Lamaze class.

1:30:15 Adam Well, yeah, that's what I...

1:30:17 Guest And then see Legally Blonde.

1:30:18 Adam That's what I mean. I mean, you called her up on the phone?

1:30:21 Guest Yeah.

1:30:22 Adam Okay.

1:30:23 Drew You're on your way. Just ask her out.

1:30:24 Adam I don't understand why you guys haven't gone out before.

1:30:28 Drew Why you have to call a radio station?

1:30:29 Guest Too busy working.

1:30:30 Adam I see.

1:30:31 Drew Oh, yeah, those long hours at the Big O.

1:30:33 Adam Yeah. You at a different tire place now?

1:30:37 Guest No, I'm working over at a van customizing. Oh, that's right.

1:30:40 Guest Oh, take her out in one of the vans.

1:30:43 Adam You guys do those captain's chairs?

1:30:46 Guest Yeah.

1:30:46 Adam Yeah, I like that. Yeah. I say, you know, why go for that SUV when you get the custom van? You got the captain's chairs, you got the wood tanneling on the side. Very sweet.

1:30:56 Guest Very sweet.

1:30:57 Drew Picture of the white tiger on the side, the white leopard.

1:30:59 Adam Yeah. I'll tell you, sometimes if I'm drunk and I'm up at like four in the morning, I watched a guy who does the custom van out in like La Havre Dodge and I think to myself, I'm going to get in one of those custom vans.

1:31:10 Guest That's what I love.

1:31:10 Drew I love it. Are we going to get the M3?

1:31:13 Adam I got to get a custom van. I got to get a custom van. You know, the best part about that commercial is the guy, his name's like Tony V or something, wears all black. He's one of these guys who's too tan, you know, those guys and who works out a lot, but only does curls. He's like P.Della's rival. Yeah, wears real tight jeans. And he's got this female sidekick, and he talks about the SUV versus the van. And there's a great part where he goes, Laura, come here, come here, come here. Try getting in the back seat of this Ford Explorer. She's like, no, Tony, not again, not again. Please go ahead and try to get in. And then she's a woman of all, she's like 5'3, but yet somehow cannot get in the back of the Explorer. Look at that, you can barely fit. Now get in the back of one of my custom vans. And of course, she goes waltzing in. And it's, it's, it's very tragic.

1:32:00 Caller And she's fine when it's pregnant.

1:32:02 Adam I just, I always like the selling technique where the person can't handle something that's very easily, very easy to handle. Like the Pert Plus commercial, where they can't handle the shampoo and conditioner bottle. It's too much. I can't carry both these things all the way from the shower to the locker. It's a mess. Falling all over the guy. All right, so he's working at a custom van place. He is going nowhere but up. She probably sees this and wants to basically hit your wagon to his star. I mean, this guy's going through the roof. I think he's in.

1:32:31 Guest Do you think he wants to rescue her, though? You think you can save her?

1:32:34 Drew He might have a little rescue impulse, but that's all right.

1:32:36 Adam But I also see something in him which is he ain't scoring with all the non-pregnant 19-year-old hotties. Here's a 17-year-old. He's a little down on her luck. He's going to move in.

1:32:47 Guest Fragile, vulnerable.

1:32:47 Drew He's definitely rescuing her. All right.

1:32:50 Adam We'll take a break.

1:32:51 Guest Hello. This is your radio. Love Line will be right back.

1:33:34 Guest Oh, yeah.

1:33:35 Adam Yeah. All right. Well, there you go. Another fabulous Loveline episode, Put to Bed. I want to thank Jessica and Alana for coming in here. Thank you. From Legally Blonde.

1:33:47 Guest Yeah.

1:33:47 Adam Yeah, you guys were great.

1:33:48 Guest Thanks.

1:33:50 Adam Come back anytime. I really did enjoy you guys. This is fun. And again, Legally Blonde coming out this Friday, go out there and see that. Brooke Burke in here from Wild On, the E! Show tomorrow night.

1:34:02 Guest Until then, I love you, Alan.

1:34:05 Adam This is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:34:08 Guest We're up in Downey, California and I've been listening to you guys for years. Yell me go to puberty.

1:34:12 Caller Puberty?

1:34:13 Guest This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff management sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Monday, July 9, 2001