Episode 1000754886892

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:13 Voiceover Hey, hey, hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. It's Dr. Drew. Phone number, yeah. 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist. Man show on right now, Comedy Central, new episode. Yeah, very impressive, very strong.

1:33 Drew There's a manual out thing on it. It's one of those...

1:35 Adam Masculine? Masculine? No, I don't know if masculine's in tonight's show.

1:40 Drew When is the one airing that I was in? I was looking for that.

1:43 Adam You did Assoholics Anonymous.

1:45 Drew Right.

1:46 Adam That's coming up.

1:47 Drew Next week.

1:49 Adam I'm not sure when it's coming up. I'll get back to you on that. You want to say something, Drew?

1:54 Drew I do. I brought in an article for you. I've suffered enough abuse at your hands about human papilloma virus.

2:01 Adam Funny, I had the conversation with somebody this afternoon about the warts, the HPV, and you, actually.

2:11 Drew Okay, well, and I've always said, you know, one out of three of your friends got it, or one out of two of your friends.

2:16 Adam Right.

2:16 Drew Here it is, JAMA, this week. Rates of HPV infection in sexually active young females have been consistently reported in the range from 19 to 46 percent.

2:26 Adam All right, well, first off, 19 to 46 is quite a range.

2:30 Drew Which usually is around 30.

2:32 Adam Well, yeah, I think you could... You could surmise that. But 19 to 46, it's double, more than double the low.

2:42 Drew It depends on which populations they'll look at. Your risk population, inner city, that kind of stuff.

2:45 Adam Yeah, that's young females, not always passing it to males. Do the males give the young females that?

2:53 Drew Yeah, assume the rate would be similar in males.

2:56 Adam Well, why do they say young females?

2:57 Drew Because that's where they're detected in the pap smears and stuff. Men aren't going in and getting tested for these things.

3:01 Adam Wouldn't you think it would be a little lower in the males, though?

3:06 Drew It depends on the height of the male.

3:09 Adam They're talking about 20-year-olds.

3:12 Drew Sexually active young adults.

3:14 Adam They hang around with guys in their mid-30s.

3:16 Drew I've always said, I'd say you're an urban center, you're sexually active, you're going to have them.

3:20 Adam Alright, is North Hollywood an urban center? Really?

3:23 Drew Yes.

3:26 Adam So, don't that vindicate it? No, that is not vindication. 19 to 46 percent, how dare you in females. And I was talking about males who are 10 years, 15 years older than that. No, no vindication at all.

3:40 Drew Well, no, I'm vindication for the abuse you were slinging my direction last week, talking to a 23-year-old about her risks.

3:46 Adam What, that was last week?

3:48 Drew Yeah, which I know you don't know these things.

3:49 Adam I don't pay attention to those shows anymore. They all mold into one big, one big wart or syphilis sore for me. Do people get syphilis anymore?

3:59 Drew Yes, they do.

4:00 Adam Yeah, not hearing too much about that.

4:02 Drew Yeah, but there's been some recent new outbreaks, in fact, transmitted by the web coincidentally.

4:06 Adam You mean people meeting each other and...

4:09 Drew Yes.

4:10 Adam By the, why? How do they link that?

4:12 Drew They're able to trace it out.

4:13 Adam All right. Well, let me say this, by the way. I got a phone call yesterday on my cell phone from a guy. It was about 4 o'clock in the afternoon. I was driving home. I got a cell phone call from a guy who claimed he knew your wife, young guy, wanted to know if I wanted to buy some knives.

4:32 Drew Oh, yes. A knife from a guy. Nice kid.

4:35 Adam Yeah, nice kid, nice kid. Not sure why he's calling me on my cell phone.

4:39 Drew How does she get the cell phone number? I don't have your cell phone number.

4:42 Adam But all I know is I'm driving my cell phone rings and it's some guy. You know what's always funny too? People you've never spoken to in your life who speak to you like they've known you for a while? Hi, Adam, it's Chad. Hi, Chad. And he starts sliding into that dad thing. What can I do for you? You know, those kind of open-ended questions. Yeah, I'm friends with Drew's wife. Yeah, I'd like a meeting. Could we meet? What's it regarding? Knives? Oh my God. Knives? Yeah, well, knives. What? I'm trying to piece the thing. You know, you figure since the guy called me on my cell, you think, okay, I must know the guy.

5:31 Drew You're thinking, meeting? Knife game show? Knife man show skit?

5:37 Adam Guy's a knife thrower? So he talks on and I say, it turns out the guy's selling knives.

5:44 Drew Kitchen knives?

5:45 Adam Yeah, I'm not that interested in kitchen knives. Maybe to kill you with a knife, a steak knife.

5:51 Drew You've always talked about that ginsu knife with great verve and gusto.

5:54 Adam I know.

5:55 Drew Maybe he caught on to that.

5:57 Adam So I say, well, I'm not really that into knives. He says, well, look, we have a lot of hunting knives. Well, that's different because anyone who knows me knows I'm hunting almost every weekend. So I say, all right, so you got hunting knives. He goes, look, you don't have to buy any knives. We should just meet. So I get paid for the meetings. You don't have to purchase anything. And I said, where did you get this? It drew his wife gave it to me. Okay. He says, well, how's this weekend look at? I said, it's Saturday at four in the afternoon. This weekend? We're halfway into this weekend. Well, what about tomorrow? He says, I say, well, I'm actually shooting something for The Man Show tomorrow. I got to work tomorrow and then I got to do the radio at night. He said, well, I'm flexible. I mean, I meet any time. I meet you at 7.30 in the morning. Okay. I'm going to get up Sunday morning at seven so I can meet this guy for a couple hours and talk knives before I head in to shoot something. So I yelled at the guy only once and he still went, this whole thing was, look, we just get together, you don't buy anything and I still make money.

7:19 Drew Rottweiler.

7:20 Adam So I was, my angle was, why don't you just say we got together, get your money. So I said, look, we're not getting together tomorrow morning. And by the way, now look, I really don't think of myself as a big celebrity, but anyone who addresses me should. Is that possible that I can do that kind of math? I don't look at myself as that much, but those of you who don't know me should.

7:45 Drew Just look upon you with great fear. Maybe, maybe not, maybe not.

7:49 Adam You're cold calling a B slash C celebrity on his cell phone as a stranger on a weekend and trying to arrange a meeting for 12 hours later in the wee hours of the morning before he has to go in and work on a Sunday. I, that's, that's way of us, by the way. I didn't get mad at the guy. I said, look, I'm not quite sure what all this is about. I can tell you for sure we ain't meeting tomorrow morning and call Drew's wife back and we'll just come in to the radio station. I'll talk to you for five minutes before the show because I just funnel everyone over to the radio station, show up two minutes early, get that and check out the list.

8:31 Drew By the way, anyone who likes to do anything with us, we are available five minutes before the show for any kind of meeting, for any purpose.

8:37 Adam Three to five minutes before the show. All right, so do me a favor. Just kick that wife of yours right in the groin next time you see her. How dare she, the temerity, giving this total stranger, who's wielding knives, by the way, my cell phone number?

8:53 Drew He's a kid who went to that school you love so much that I graduated from.

8:58 Adam Oh.

8:58 Drew She's trying to help him out.

8:59 Adam What the hell is he doing selling knives?

9:00 Drew He's going to Georgetown now. It's a summer job.

9:02 Adam When's he leaving? Can't he just leave? Can't he just go to Georgetown? What about summer school? How does Susan even know my cell phone number?

9:13 Drew I have no idea.

9:14 Adam And why is she giving...

9:15 Drew Anybody.

9:16 Adam I'm hoping... Oh, I don't even care. Jesus Christ. I wanted to meet this weekend. It calls me late Saturday afternoon.

9:26 Drew I get angry with that stuff when people have no willingness to accept your situation, no acknowledgement of what your feelings are, what your circumstances are. I just know. Just let's meet.

9:38 Adam Yeah.

9:39 Drew I get angry at that stuff.

9:40 Adam Yeah, I do too, yeah. Well, listen, you get angry because you go along with it.

9:46 Drew Yeah, well, I feel...

9:47 Adam You don't get angry when you just abuse back, Adam.

9:50 Drew Right. I feel invaded by it. Right. You don't feel like intruded, like, huh.

9:53 Adam Yeah. You won't feel raped at all if and you just don't go along with anything.

9:59 Drew But they don't give you the satisfaction when you abuse back. It's like, uh-huh, uh-huh, so tomorrow morning? You don't get the satisfaction of upsetting them.

10:05 Adam The guy literally said, 7.30 tomorrow morning. Sunday morning, 7.30. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm doing my calisthenics at 7.30 Sunday morning. Is he high? To sell knives? To talk about selling knives for Christ's sake. I'll go to the goddamn IKEA when I feel like it and get some knives. Jeff?

10:26 Hey, Drew, Adam. How are you guys doing?

10:27 Adam Good.

10:28 Uh, Adam, I wanted to say that, uh, you have the epitome of a philosopher-warrior.

10:32 Adam Well, thank you.

10:33 Drew I haven't heard that term in four years.

10:35 That's right. Longtime listener. Um, uh, my question is, actually, I just wanted to say, I did sell those knives a couple years ago, so it's kind of ironic that you bring that up.

10:43 Drew Oh, that... how weird is that?

10:45 Adam Now, did you get paid just for meeting somebody?

10:48 Yeah. Um, what they do is you schedule appointments, and each appointment, they paid us, I think, $12. So if you sell or don't sell, you get the money, and, uh...

10:59 Drew Why doesn't he just say he had an appointment with Adam? Adam's going to stand him up on, you know, stand behind him on that one.

11:04 Adam I would have given the guy 50 bucks to hang up the phone, just write that. Write this second, just hang up, I'll give you 50.

11:09 Well, he could do that, but, um, if you do that on a consistent basis, the manager will be like, hey, you're not selling more than 25% or 30% ratio, so they're going to be like, pull your side and so on.

11:19 Adam What kind of knives is it? All different brands or a certain kind?

11:22 Well, it's a certain company, and actually, I mean, I'm not going to plug the company, but they are good knives, I mean. You'll be surprised. I mean, when you get a good knife in your hand, I mean, it just cuts clean and...

11:32 Drew Right, he's selling.

11:34 Adam All right. Well, I'm sold. Sign me up.

11:37 Drew Jeffy wants a meeting. You're in Los Angeles soon?

11:40 Adam Next time you're out in LA, let's arrange your meeting.

11:42 My brother lives in LA.

11:43 Adam I want to meet with him.

11:45 Okay, cool.

11:45 Adam All right, Jeff, what's up?

11:47 My question is actually a call once before when Jerry Springer was on a little bit over a year ago.

11:52 Whatever.

11:53 Wow.

11:54 And I have a problem with, I guess, sex addiction. I go to massage parlors and I waste a lot of money that I really can't afford to.

12:05 Drew And how often are you going?

12:07 Basically whenever I get the money and probably once, twice a week average, sometimes I'll have the money and I'll just blow up and go two or three times in a day. And that's like...

12:16 Drew Where do you get the money from?

12:19 Family.

12:20 Adam Selling knives.

12:21 Drew So you're not working right now?

12:22 No, I'm going to school. Going to school and it's interfering with that at the moment. I was at the top of my class and right now I'm close to getting booted because I just can't focus on anything. I get depressed and go to these places.

12:36 Adam What do you get over there normally? You get a BJ or...?

12:39 I can. It's usually a hand job. I've gotten BJs a couple of times but the disease aspect sort of deters.

12:46 Adam So you just go in for the hand job?

12:49 Yeah, basically. In and out.

12:51 Adam Isn't that something you could do yourself? I know this doesn't address the addiction but I understand the BJ thing because it's something... it's just difficult to simulate that you like, Adam. It's something I enjoy, right. But the hand job, it just seems like something you could do yourself.

13:09 Well, I do and going to essay meetings I figured out that I'm trying to gap a hole in my soul as opposed to just getting off.

13:17 Drew That's right. You were trying to manage your feelings, manage affect with the sex. Did you get the essay big book, that white covered book?

13:25 I got the book and guys come up and give me their numbers and call me when they're in the time we need and I just I know I should call but I just want to do my thing. I know it's just like any other addiction what you got to do you got to read that book and you got to get a sponsor and before before I go make specific question I want today and I got the hand job but the ladies breast wound up in my mouth and I wasn't too rough was fell down from the rafters or off a shelf or something and they're not well lit I don't know how it got there but I wound up in my mouth and I was kind of rough not too much but I'm thinking when it wasn't I'm thinking maybe there was a weird taste to it but is it possible that I might have broken the skin and blood may have gotten to my mouth it's unlikely but you can get some secretions out of our breasts if you stimulate it and you know they could have some infected material in it but it's really not likely.

14:21 Adam She would have sounded off probably if she had broken the skin and women are pretty sensitive.

14:25 Drew That's not an easy way to get anything.

14:29 Adam The breast?

14:29 Drew Yeah.

14:30 Adam And what about any secretions, any milk or anything like that?

14:33 Drew That's what I'm saying there is a potential there but you know a few molecules not...

14:38 Adam Look I know this isn't in the essay handbook but couldn't he just jack himself once quick when he felt the need and take some of the immediacy out of the day? You know the wind out of his sails?

14:51 Drew It makes sense if the sexuality was the only thing needing relief but there's all this affect behind it that still goes on.

14:58 Adam Stephen?

14:59 Drew By the way, in the studio there, I'm not interested in this show laughing, falling over laughing at the man show.

15:05 Adam They're watching the man show? What's on over there?

15:08 Drew They're going insane.

15:10 Adam Which, I don't know what's playing right now.

15:12 It's the drunken pilot that's really...

15:14 Adam Oh, drunken pilot. Yeah, man show, instant man show classic on right now. Stephen?

15:19 What's up?

15:19 Adam Hey, you're 23. How's it going?

15:21 Caller Yeah, Adam, from the other night, it's up the guitar on that riff. Remember when you were doing the thing?

15:29 Up the guitar?

15:30 Caller You were doing the ultimate air guitar riff. And you were moving your hand down the guitar and you and Drew couldn't decide whether it was up or down?

15:36 Right.

15:36 Caller It's up.

15:38 Adam Now, Stephen, what night were you listening?

15:41 Caller Well, I'm on the East Coast, so I just heard it about two hours ago, so I guess it was Thursday night.

15:46 Oh, right.

15:47 Adam That was the best of, because we'd had a couple days off for the 4th of July holiday. That's why Drew was looking at me cross-eyed.

15:54 Caller Sorry about that.

15:55 Adam Hey, just as fresh as ever. Still talking about nothing.

15:59 Caller Basically.

16:00 Adam Alright, so what's your question, Stephen?

16:02 Caller Yeah, I've just been dating this girl and we're probably splitting up, but she decided that she wanted to go ahead and start stripping to get away through school.

16:09 Adam Right.

16:10 Caller And, Drew, I hear you talking about acting out and what not all the time. Is she really doing this for the money or?

16:16 Drew The money motivates and helps push her in that direction, but there is an inability to perceive certain boundaries and or even some pressure behind these behaviors caused by whatever, some aggression, some feelings about men, some sexual abuse, something that really pushes someone in that direction.

16:35 Adam How old is she?

16:36 Caller Twenty.

16:37 Adam And that's it for you too?

16:39 Caller Yeah, it looks like it. Well, I mean, there were other problems, but I mean, I wasn't too psyched to see if she was doing that, you know.

16:45 Drew What's her history like?

16:47 Caller I mean, you know, no abuse or anything that I know of. Doesn't really get along with her folks, you know, stuff like that.

16:54 Adam Is she going into a topless or bottomless?

16:56 Caller It's all new.

16:59 Adam That means something a little more.

17:00 Drew Yeah, and have you ever talked about why she doesn't get along with her parents?

17:04 Caller Yeah, I mean, she's just a really guarded girl and that's one of the reasons why the relationship wasn't working.

17:08 Drew Yeah, there's something going on here.

17:10 I think so. Oh yeah.

17:13 Caller One last quick question again about acting out. I mean, people don't know that they're doing it, do they? I mean, it's just a reaction.

17:19 Drew Yeah, it's an interesting question. Even when they know they're doing it, it's so gratifying that they can often just go ahead and do it anyway. And frankly, tell me this, if you agree with me on this, Adam, I don't mind somebody going, you know what, this is from that, this is from something I had in my childhood, but you know what, I don't have money for therapy, I'm not motivated, this just feels great to me right now and I've got to do this. That's somebody who I'd go, okay, when you're ready, you're going to have to make some change. But I wouldn't get so irritated as I do with so many of our college.

17:48 Adam Or just in basic denial.

17:49 Drew Yeah, just go, it has nothing to do with anything. It's just my choice, I need to make some money.

17:53 Adam Well, here's what I've noticed from years of studying people who act out, my own family, my friends and neighborhood folks. It's sort of like a woman on her period. A woman will, she'll be done with her period and she'll turn to you and say, I'm sorry I was so freaked out, accused of cheating, I was all over the place, I was crying and laughing hysterically, five minutes apart. I was on my period, I had a hormonal surge, I'm sorry. But if you bring it up to them next time they're in the middle of their period, they're even more PO'd. They're not going to go for that. And it's also like when people get drunk, they apologize for being drunk, they're out of control. I wish I had a nickel for every time I pulled one of my drunken idiot friends aside and said, hey listen, you're loaded, you're really loaded right now and you're doing, you know, I mean, that's it, you're getting thrown in the pool. So it's sort of the same thing with people who have emotional things. They do their thing and when they're in the middle of doing their thing, there's nothing you can do to stop them and then later on, when they're having a more quiet phase, you might be able to break through a little bit.

19:04 Drew I was thinking in terms of piercing and tattooing and stuff too, sometimes people kind of are aware of what that does for them, but they somehow feel so gratified by it that it's...

19:13 Adam Yeah, like the guy who's getting the hand jobs.

19:16 Drew Yeah, he's aware of it.

19:17 Adam He knows what he's doing. Right, exactly. He's not willing to stop just yet, he's working on it. Alright, what's going on over there at the Man Show? I'm very enamored with the Man Show because we got the new episodes on now.

19:30 Drew So thanks to... Tara's talking to you through a soundproof window.

19:34 Adam I've got to break for a commercial and go watch some bit, but I don't want to have a Man Show commercial while we're breaking here.

19:39 Drew Is there a commercial on there now?

19:41 No.

19:41 Drew No.

19:42 Adam Alright, what's going on right now on that show there, Anderson?

19:45 You're in a restaurant now, Jimmy and you?

19:48 Yeah.

19:48 Drew This is giving soup to old ladies.

19:50 Adam This is so bad for this show guys. Giving soup to old ladies? What the hell is that?

19:57 I guess it's gravy. Alright.

19:59 Adam Oh, that's Jimmy. That's not me, right?

20:01 Yeah.

20:02 Adam John?

20:03 Yeah.

20:03 Adam You're 38?

20:05 Caller Yes, I am.

20:05 Adam What's up?

20:07 Caller Well I have had quadruple bypass about two and a half years ago and I seem to be having ED.

20:13 Drew Wow. Are you a smoker?

20:16 Caller No, I never was. We found it honestly by accident.

20:19 Drew Do you have family history?

20:22 Caller It did run in my family. You mean for the heart problems?

20:25 Drew Yeah. I mean 36 have had multi-vessel heart disease. It means hypercholesterolemia or some sort of genetic issue or smoking.

20:33 Caller Well my dad had four heart attacks before he was 39. It is kind of a generic thing. I guess what I'm asking is, you know, I've done a lot of things where I've lost a lot of serious weight. I put my diabetes 100% under control and...

20:52 Drew By the way, you could have mentioned you were a diabetic. That's the risk that gives you the heart attack at 36.

20:57 Caller All right, I'm sorry. Yeah, you know, my cholesterol level is really, really, really low, but I seem to still have an erection problem. You know, it just doesn't get as hard as it really should.

21:09 Drew Are you an insulin-dependent diabetic?

21:12 Caller I'm oral right now.

21:13 Drew Were you ever insulin-dependent?

21:15 Caller No.

21:15 Adam Does that mean you blow a doctor to get insulin?

21:17 Drew You take insulin. Did you have long periods of time when your blood sugar was out of control?

21:25 Caller I would have to honestly say that since we only found out that I was about two and a half years ago, I'm not really honestly sure if I can answer that question honestly.

21:32 Drew Because the arteries, the arterial supply to the penis is actually more sensitive to the kinds of changes that are occuring in your heart. So there can be a vascular problem caused by the diabetes, commonly caused by smoking. Well this just recently came about, I understand, but now also the cardiac medications, this is one of the more common side of it. Do you want a tenolol?

21:52 Caller Yes.

21:53 Drew Okay, well a tenolol typically will cause that kind of problem. Any other cardiac meds you're taking?

21:58 Caller No, that's it.

21:59 Drew All right, well you talked to your doctor about the tenolol. Do you want any nitrates, nitroglycerin? Do you want any nitrates, nitro-duro, nitroglycerin patches, anything like that? No, no, I'm not on that. Okay, so you could take, you could take, you'd be exactly for whom Viagra was created, is someone who had a young person, should have normal artyl function on meds that he needs for his cardiac disease, and the side effect of the medicines is artyl dysfunction and Viagra will take care of that.

22:26 Adam What's that nitroglycerin do for you? I thought you're only supposed to take it when you're having a heart attack or feeling one come on.

22:32 Drew No, it does two things. It dilates the arteries feeding the heart muscle and it changes the pressures loading the left side of the heart, the blood on the right loading into the heart.

22:45 Adam That comes in through the left side?

22:47 Drew I'll give you a lecture during the commercial break.

22:50 Adam The nitroglycerin, the same stuff used to blow up the side of a mountain?

22:55 Drew I don't know.

22:55 Adam Well, it seems like it would be, right? I don't think so, no. Same spelling, same name. Be dangerous otherwise, right? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, there's not a medicine called arsenic.

23:07 Drew That's TNT.

23:08 Adam Right. All right. Let's take ourselves a little break, though. I want to say hi to Monica before we go to break. Monica?

23:15 Yeah?

23:16 Adam You're 37?

23:17 Caller Yep, 37 and still a virgin.

23:20 Adam Still a virgin?

23:22 Caller Yeah. The story... No, I'm not fat, because you always ask that question.

23:29 Adam Nice, Adam.

23:30 Drew Nice. I'm pleased with that reputation that you have. It's nice.

23:33 Caller Yeah.

23:34 Adam Well, now you've just moved over a column from fat into crazy.

23:39 Drew Well, no, you have a religious column between those two, don't you?

23:42 Adam Right. Here are the choices I'm going to give you. Grotesquely overweight?

23:47 No.

23:48 Adam Insane?

23:49 Caller Yes.

23:50 Adam Oh, okay.

23:52 Caller I was just...

23:52 Drew Say again, I'm delighted by her. Yeah.

23:55 Adam How nuts can you be when you admit that freely that you're insane?

23:58 Drew So funny. Insight is the requisite for my self-satisfaction.

24:03 Adam So how do you know you're insane, Monica?

24:05 Caller I was just diagnosed a few years back with bipolar and been in and out of the hospital. And that's just recently. When I was in college...

24:17 Drew But what she's telling you is that she's been under control recently. She should have been hospitalized.

24:20 Adam Right.

24:20 Caller I was. No, I had been.

24:22 Adam In the past?

24:23 Caller Oh yeah. I should have been back in the early 90s. See what I'm saying?

24:26 Adam Right. Okay. Hang on there, Monica.

24:29 Caller Yeah.

24:29 Adam Because now that you're stabilized, you like to lose your virginity, right?

24:33 Caller Well, I'd like... It's not just that. It would be a relationship with a guy. And the problem is, seems like A, all my dates are through the personals, which I've done, including online. And you meet the people, and they're nice, but there's no chemistry or whatever. Or B, I have met someone that there's a little chemistry, and they're more interested than I am. And I, like, shut down, if you could imagine, like, you know, Armour coming on. And I get really anxious.

25:08 Adam I can imagine, hold on a second. Thirty-seven and Virgin, you don't argue with that kind of track record.

25:14 Drew We should try to gamble on her. We should try to predict what created this. See, I don't know, you know, I think... No, I got an idea too.

25:20 Adam I got an idea too. All right, we're going to come back, we're going to gamble on Monica, and get to the bottom of her thirty-seven-year-old Virgin vagina, after this.

25:39 Hi, this is Tracy Lewis, and you're listening to Love Line.

25:44 Adam Oh, yes, you are. I took a swig of my coffee, because I thought she was going to say, with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. That's us, everybody. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Drew's got a big, shiny buck out on her. I lost $500 today with a bet with my partner, Jimmy.

26:03 Drew What was the bet?

26:06 Adam I don't want to bore everyone with a bunch of local sports, but it had to do with Jaeger, the catcher from the Dodgers all those years back. Yeah. Yeah. I thought he hit more home runs than he actually did.

26:20 Oh, wow.

26:21 Adam Do you get the idea that guy was a power hitter at all?

26:24 Drew Yeah.

26:25 Adam Yeah, I did too.

26:26 Drew He must have had a good average of time.

26:29 Adam No, here's the thing. Steve Jaeger, ex-Dodger, catcher, co-World Series MVP by the way, with a couple of home runs in the series. Jimmy said never hit more than 20 home runs in one season. I said 20? Most of the guys in the league are over 20. A lot of guys are over the league, over 20 now at the All-Star Bright.

26:51 Drew Yeah.

26:52 Adam This is for a season. I said, you're on 500 bucks.

26:55 Drew It also seems like people are hitting more home runs.

26:57 Adam Oh, they're hitting a ton more. All right. Here's the deal. Stinking Steve Yeager, 16. Most homers the guy ever hit in is like 11 years with the Dodgers. That's amazing. He thought the guy had some pop, right? 16, best year. What the hell is that? Steve, if you're listening, buddy, I think you owe me 250. 500 bucks. Jesus Christ. Painful. All right, Drew, I don't got a dollar.

27:22 Drew All right.

27:22 Adam I got five. I'll put up here.

27:23 Drew All right, let's watch it.

27:24 Adam All right, Monica is 37. Monica is a virgin at 37. She's bipolar, recently diagnosed, under control now, but has had a controller whole life.

27:36 Drew Says she's crazy. Says she's crazy. That's the reason for her virginity.

27:40 Right.

27:41 Drew But she's looking for a real relationship.

27:42 Right.

27:43 Adam But then said-

27:44 Drew Something about college.

27:45 Adam Hooks up with a guy, I mean, meets a guy she likes or the guy likes her and she doesn't like him, she shuts down suit of armor.

27:53 Drew Super shut down. Yeah.

27:54 Adam Yeah. So I'm going to gamble. You want to say hi to her?

27:57 Caller Yeah.

27:58 Adam Monica?

27:58 Caller Yeah.

27:59 Drew Is that about summing up?

28:00 Caller Yeah. Pretty good. Pretty good.

28:01 Adam All right. So we're going to do a little gambling on your past.

28:04 Caller You're going to win.

28:05 Adam I want to just quiet down now.

28:06 Drew No, because you're not presenting- I think she's not presenting the usual constellation of her history.

28:12 Adam Suit of armor means sexual abuse. Yeah.

28:15 Drew That's what I got too. And yet virgin.

28:19 Adam Well, Drew, and this is one of the crueler things you do. Some poor chick calls herself a virgin because the only penis that was in her was her drunken 44-year-old's uncle on her fifth birthday. And Drew goes, sorry, not a virgin, not in the eyes of God. I'll see you in hell. I think most women consider themselves virgins until they give up their virginity. When it's taken from them, they're upset about it, but I think they still count themselves as virgins.

28:51 Drew Okay, I'll give her that. But one, I think there's one or two possibilities with her. One is that, the other is alcoholic dad who was abusive physically or something and left.

29:00 Adam All right, you want to go...

29:02 Drew So I'll go with the alcoholic abusive dad.

29:03 Adam I'll go...

29:03 Drew You go with the sexual abuse.

29:04 Adam I'll go sexual abuse. You go physical abuse.

29:08 Drew Now, I'm also going to say that I sense that she was some kind of an addict during college and you would expect an addict to act out sexually, right? This is the piece that I got a feeling from. You got an addict, huh?

29:21 Adam Yeah. I didn't get the addict part.

29:22 Drew I just got the crazy part. Well, I have a feeling the bipolar may come from a stimulant history. That's my sense.

29:27 Adam All right. I'm not going with that. All right. Let's... Monica?

29:32 Drew By stimulant, I mean cocaine or speed.

29:34 Caller Everybody's kind of right. My older brother, he didn't penetrate, but he kind of messed around with me and my older sister. A few years back, he had phoned me drunk to apologize. Also, when I was a kid, we used to kind of sneak around and look through his stuff. He had written things about, you know, like a love story, you know, like dirty novels would have about having sex with my step mom and my older sister. This is my older brother, so he's perverted. So that's where that probably comes from.

30:13 Adam How many encounters did you have with your older brother?

30:16 Caller You know, I don't, I, it doesn't, I would say like when I was five, five and six, something like that, and then my parents had divorced and then I moved in with my dad and step mom. And that's when he didn't have control. And then my mom was the alcoholic and my mom had bipolar. My step monster was the one who beat us. And my dad's the one who kind of, just kind of let it happen.

30:46 Adam So, your step mom beat you?

30:48 Caller Yeah, my step monster, yeah. She got, yeah. And dad knew about it. He would take us to the emergency room. He's a doctor and he would, and his friends would, you know.

30:59 Drew Well, Adam, your step mom did a form of abuse. She would put you out there with the popcorn can toilet in the garage.

31:06 Caller Yeah, exactly. Uh-huh. I can identify with that.

31:08 Adam Listen, I would have welcomed a nice physical beating instead of the slow painful death that took place in the Corolla house at the hands of my step mother growing up.

31:19 Caller I don't know.

31:20 Adam I knew as a guy I would have liked it, and not as a woman.

31:24 Caller Yeah.

31:24 Adam Okay, so.

31:25 Drew What else was on our parade?

31:27 Caller Pardon?

31:28 Adam Do you ever abuse any drugs?

31:30 Caller No, that's the funny part. My brother has. My sister's the promiscuous.

31:36 Drew Okay, but you didn't get the gene. You just didn't get the gene from mom.

31:41 Caller I didn't get the gene from my drink-a-little oncologist.

31:43 Drew No, you didn't get the gene.

31:44 Adam All right.

31:45 Drew So you're a true genetic bipolar.

31:47 Adam Well, let's see. Let me just reflect on my day. I placed two bets today. One was for $500. I lost that one. But the good news is, Kitty, is I'm climbing back because I just won the $1 bet.

32:00 Drew So it's $4.99 in the hole now.

32:01 Adam That's right. Another $4.99 or $500 of these. I'm going to be sitting pretty. Let's keep the gambling going tonight, Drew. I've got to make up for my losses. All right. So never did any drugs. Still a virgin. You meet a guy.

32:17 Drew Have you had some therapy recently?

32:18 Caller Well, actually, I am doing that. I had just found... I moved recently back home and just found a great psychiatrist.

32:27 Drew It sounds like you're getting connected with somebody therapeutically, and that's what's allowing you to look for a real relationship for the first time.

32:34 Caller Well, I'm sorry.

32:36 Drew I think that the fact that you're getting treatment is allowing you to be open to a real relationship, finally, and it'll happen. It'll happen.

32:43 Look, just stay...

32:44 Drew Don't shut down on the guys that are interested in you. You just got to figure out a way to take a deep breath and walk on in.

32:50 Adam And let me say this. Don't look at yourself as a virgin. Look at yourself as a 37-year-old woman. You don't have to freak out, live and die with every date, wonder what every guy wants and everything. You're a 37-year-old single woman. Try to pull the virginity part out of this and just date like an adult woman would date. And by the way, when a guy finds this out, 37 years old, and he's going to bust that 37-year-old hymen, what a day. That's a cause for celebration. He's got to be excited. You know what I'm saying?

33:23 Drew He wants some sort of memento to wear around his neck.

33:26 Adam This is like discovering a car in the garage with no mileage on it. Ryan Neu from the 60s. All right. Earlier in the evening, I was talking about a young fella who called me on my cell phone yesterday asking if he could sell me some knives and wanted to get together on the following day and give me a pitch about knives. I was yelling at Drew because it was his wife who gave this young fella my phone number. Now, we have someone who claims to be him on the phone. I can't remember the name he gave me yesterday. What was the name you gave me yesterday?

34:06 Pan Pan.

34:07 Drew Pan Pan.

34:08 Adam That's what you said to me?

34:09 Yeah.

34:11 Drew You heard Chad, though.

34:12 Adam I don't know what I heard. I tuned out.

34:13 I had to repeat it most of the time.

34:15 Adam Oh. Well, maybe it was a cell phone breaking up. But I spoke to you yesterday about knives.

34:20 I guess so, yeah. I think it was maybe two days ago. Maybe it was yesterday. It was kind of a blur because I was kind of excited.

34:29 Adam What time would it have been yesterday?

34:31 It was in the afternoon. I think it was like 2.30 because I had an appointment at 3.30.

34:39 Adam I'll go with this guy. That's right. You did a little test here. You worked with Drew's daughter in a certain sport.

34:49 Volleyball, yeah.

34:50 Adam There you go. This is our man. By the way, Pan Pan, wasn't that the name of one of the pandas in the Brady Bunch cartoon? Magical pandas in that cartoon?

35:03 No.

35:04 Adam Pan Pan?

35:04 No. I have no idea.

35:06 Adam Pan Pan, where do you get the way, boss, to call me on my cell phone and want to sell me knives on a weekend?

35:13 Kind of like the co-workers are trying to egg me on. You have Adam Corolla's number, you should call him up. And so I was like oh yeah why not give it a shot.

35:22 Adam Right. And did you or did you not suggest that we get together at 7:30 a.m.?

35:27 I was suggesting that only just to show that I was.

35:29 Drew Enthusiastic. Accommodating.

35:32 Yeah.

35:33 Adam By the way, enthusiasm does not score points with me. I don't like that. As you know I'm a champion of the napper.

35:40 Yeah. All right.

35:41 Adam But I did tell you you could come over here.

35:43 Yes, you did.

35:44 Adam And make your knife pitch.

35:46 Yeah. And I asked if you wanted me to come early and you said no, two or three minutes.

35:53 Right.

35:54 Adam Yeah.

35:54 Drew Well, you come early, you won't be here.

35:57 Adam I don't want anyone thinking that this is just a show, that I show up for this show two or three minutes before the show. Yeah. Two or three minutes. Look, a good salesman...

36:06 Drew You'll get a commercial break, too, out of it, I'm sure.

36:08 Adam That's right. A good salesman can make his pitch in a minute and 30 seconds.

36:15 All right. Well, if you want to bring one of your knives, that would be making it a lot easier.

36:19 Adam You're going to compare it to one of the knives I have.

36:21 That's what I normally do.

36:22 Adam Oh, that's good. So you come into the person's house. Yeah. I got some decent knives, but I also have some crappy knives, too.

36:34 Drew You get stuff off the television. You get those...

36:36 Adam No, I don't buy those. Although I do like those late night commercials where those fat guys with beards go, 99 knives, $99. Honey knives, bowing knives, fishing knives. This knife got a compass and piano wire in the handle. Take out a guard with this thing. Yeah, those Rambo knives. You can unscrew the handle.

37:00 Drew To choke someone.

37:01 Adam Like a snake bite kit in there. You guys love that as drunken farmers watching that, the hillbillies watching late at night. But I'll tell you one thing that does piss me off, Pan Pan. When I go to a restaurant, a lot of restaurants will pull this on you, or someone's house, sit down and have a steak, and they give you essentially a butter knife. I like a nice steak knife. A lot of restaurants will give you a little...

37:24 Drew Bring the steak knife kit. That's the suggestion.

37:26 Adam They'll give you like a little serrated sort of butter knife. You ever go to a steak, not necessarily steak house, but you go to a restaurant and you order the T-bone, and they give you the knife that they gave you with the muffins.

37:36 Drew It's serrated on one side.

37:38 Adam On one side it's serrated.

37:39 Drew Yeah.

37:39 Adam I'm thinking, look, what are we? Are we in the third grade where I get the scissors that are rounded over on the end? Am I running with this thing? Is there some sort of lawsuit that could happen from this? Give me the goddamn thing with the teeth on it. I want to eat the steak. Maybe that's how confident they are in their cut of meat. So Pan Pan.

37:59 Drew It's like butter.

38:00 Adam Pan, and can I call you Pan?

38:02 You can call me whatever you want.

38:04 Adam Are you Chinese?

38:05 I am Chinese.

38:06 Adam And what's up with the Pan Pan? Pan wouldn't cover it?

38:10 It's kind of like, well, my wrist is Pan, but, and when you're a little kid, you kind of double up, kind of like John John. Like me.

38:16 Adam Oh, right, like the Kennedys.

38:17 Yeah.

38:18 Adam I see.

38:19 It's almost kind of like the Kennedys, I guess.

38:20 Adam Right. But eventually, as you get older, it just turns into Pan, right?

38:25 Yeah. Well, I've kind of just stuck with Pan Pan.

38:28 Adam I see. Well, it kind of works. Although I don't remember it, and we spoke yesterday, but I swear it was a different name, or maybe I just tuned out immediately. All right. So you bring your knives in, and we'll have a little meeting, and bring me some steak knives, all right? All right.

38:43 Great.

38:43 Adam All right. Do you have any of those throwing stars? You know, I'd like to hit you in the back with something on your way out in the parking lot.

38:53 I'll try to find some. I don't think...

38:55 Drew Why don't you come here? Why don't you bring him here on Thursday when Jimmy's here?

38:59 Adam Bring a throwing knife. Yeah, listen, Jimmy Kimmel from the Man Show and my beloved partner and from the guy I gave 500 bucks to today is going to be here on Thursday. Come in Thursday. This guy loves meat. He loves eating, and he loves anything to do with the kitchen.

39:15 Drew Come a quarter till, because I bet that night Adam will actually be here early.

39:18 Adam Bring some steak knives and me and Jimmy will buy some off you, okay?

39:21 I will.

39:22 Adam All right.

39:22 Thank you very much, man.

39:23 Drew All right.

39:23 Adam Take care. This is a ridiculous show, Drew. Really has nothing to do with anything anymore. I'm talking steak knives for 20 minutes.

39:32 Drew Oh.

39:33 Adam There you go. I really mean it. This is wonderful. Heal Houser is now more provocative than they are.

39:42 Drew I want you to understand that you're just... Remember we talked about inside a few minutes ago?

39:45 Right.

39:46 Drew You're just waking up to this fact. One night you spent an hour and 15 on Heal Houser.

39:51 Yeah.

39:51 Drew Okay? This is actually an improvement. It's only five minutes on knives.

39:54 All right.

39:55 Adam Let's take her... I'm still mad at your wife, by the way. How dare she give out my cell phone number. Holy Christ.

40:01 Drew Hey, the Heal stuff was really funny, though.

40:03 Adam Yeah.

40:04 Thank you. That knife stuff was not funny at all.

40:05 Adam Thanks, Anderson.

40:06 Drew I feel much better now.

40:07 Adam You can bring an extra... Pan Pan, bring an extra knife so I can put one into Anderson's liver. All right. We'll take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Kyle Kyle. He's 16. Wants to know if he can get a disease from going down on his slutty girlfriend after this. Here's Loveline, everybody. There's that Cole. Love that guitar. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Yeah. All right. Let's go back to the phones and speak to Kyle, who's 16. Kyle?

40:52 Caller Yeah, what's up?

40:53 Adam What's up?

40:53 Caller Well, nothing much. I've been going out with a girl for about five days now.

40:59 And then the other night, it was Friday night, I was like, we were chilling at my house, and then we had like some drink.

41:05 Caller We were just sitting there drinking, you know, and like one thing led to another. And then she like, I was sitting there, and she was wearing like these hecka short shorts, because she like always dresses like.

41:12 Drew This is your girlfriend?

41:14 Adam Yeah.

41:14 Caller She like always dresses like.

41:15 Drew 16-year-old just only hang out and drink? Have a couple of cocktails.

41:18 Adam Summertime, they don't have to be anywhere the next day.

41:21 Caller Yeah, we just like, yeah.

41:22 Adam Oh my, is that hecka, that's polite for hella?

41:26 Caller Yeah, I guess. Am I allowed to say hella in the air?

41:28 Adam Yeah, you can say hella.

41:29 Caller Yeah, so she was like, wearing these hella, you know, short shorts and then.

41:32 Adam Hella short shorts, right?

41:33 Caller Yeah, so we were like, sitting on the couch and then she like, stands up and like, puts her vagina right in my face. Hands up and then she like, grabs my head and just puts it on there and then I was like, and I kind of just like, laid her down and I was just like, nah, it's okay.

41:46 Adam Oh, yeah.

41:48 Caller Cause I heard she like, you know, like, did it with hella other guys and I kind of didn't want to.

41:52 Adam Hella other guys. Hella prude, so.

41:55 How gay are you?

41:56 Drew All right, so what's the question?

41:57 Adam Hella gay.

41:57 Do you think I could get like a disease or something?

41:59 Caller Cause I know she's like, you know.

42:00 Drew Just from, from contacting her short shorts? No, like.

42:03 Adam Hella short shorts.

42:04 Drew From Hella short shorts?

42:05 Caller If I like get in contact with the hole, you know, can.

42:08 Drew If you actually proceed with, with what she was suggesting.

42:11 Caller Like if I like took off her, like, little panties.

42:13 Drew Yeah, you can get diseases from mucosal service contact. Any of the sexually transmitted diseases are transmissible that way.

42:20 Adam I don't know what it is about me, but I, I can't stand any guys does the hella or the hecka.

42:25 Drew All right, keep going. We're going to take this one.

42:28 Adam All right.

42:30 Drew You might go off on knives again.

42:32 Adam Vincent, you're 25.

42:34 Caller Uh, yeah.

42:35 Adam What's up?

42:36 Caller Hey, what's up, guys? First of all, Adam, you're a god man.

42:40 Adam Thank you.

42:42 Caller And, well, basically like a question for Dr. Drew. Yeah.

42:45 Uh, yeah.

42:46 Caller My, uh, girlfriend, uh, she's, uh, been diagnosed, uh, with, uh, ovarian cancer.

42:52 Wow.

42:52 Adam How old is she?

42:53 Caller Uh, she's 22.

42:54 Drew Oh.

42:55 Adam Is that bad?

42:56 Drew Yeah.

42:57 Caller And, uh, now she's, uh, pregnant with our baby. About a month and a half, I was wondering, what are the proportions?

43:04 Oh, my God.

43:05 Because, uh, she had a kid before.

43:07 Drew Yeah.

43:08 Caller And actually the kid just died about, uh, two weeks ago.

43:10 Drew Died?

43:12 Caller Yeah. Uh, well, first of all, the kid get a, uh, what you call it, uh, I think, uh, she got a cancer in the brain.

43:18 Drew Oh, my God.

43:19 Caller Uh, and she's been in the, uh, uh, what you call that, chemotherapy and everything.

43:23 Drew Yeah.

43:23 Caller And so she's been in and out of the hospital. Then, uh, one night, uh, she just, uh, the kid just, uh, went to the, uh, bathroom and just kind of like, uh, passed out in there. And the doctor told her that she died from aneurysm.

43:36 Adam Aneurysm. Now, how old was the child?

43:38 Caller Uh, six.

43:40 Drew Oh, jeez.

43:41 Adam Oh, my God. That's a heartbreaker.

43:44 Drew Oh, I'm so sorry. And now she has ovarian cancer and she's pregnant. They, how long ago do they diagnose the ovarian cancer?

43:50 Caller Uh, she just found out in March.

43:56 Adam How pregnant is she? How far along?

43:58 Caller Uh, she's about a month and a half.

44:00 Drew Was she, wasn't she receiving chemotherapy for her cancer?

44:03 Caller Uh, no.

44:04 Drew Why not?

44:05 Caller I don't know. Uh, she just, uh, she just told me about a month ago.

44:10 Drew Well, something's wrong with the story.

44:12 Adam Uh, okay. Wait a minute. When did her daughter or son die?

44:17 Caller Uh, two weeks ago.

44:19 Adam Two weeks ago?

44:20 Drew How long have you known her for?

44:22 Caller Uh, since, uh, we've been going out since, uh, February.

44:26 Drew And all of a sudden, and she didn't tell you about the ovarian cancer until?

44:31 Caller Until about, uh, a month ago, I think.

44:34 Drew You sure you're not talking about cervical cancer?

44:37 Caller Um, no. Uh, cause she just, uh, she was just crying. And I asked her why. And she just found out that, uh, her doctor told, told her that, uh, she, she's been diagnosed with ovarian, ovarian cancer.

44:49 Adam So cervical cancer is a lot better than ovarian cancer, right?

44:52 Drew So cervical usually is detected early and you can sort of, right, maneuver around it. But ovarian cancer, I don't understand why it wasn't being treated and how she got pregnant. It doesn't fit. It doesn't make sense for me.

45:04 Caller That was, that was, that was, that was her main question too, because she went, uh, to a different doctor and, uh, asked them, uh, how come it's possible for her to be pregnant, uh, when she was diagnosed with that?

45:16 Drew Well, the one ovary still functions, but why wasn't she getting treatment? That's what I don't understand.

45:22 Caller All right.

45:23 Adam So Drew, what, what, what she needs to do?

45:25 Drew And then, I suspect they may terminate the pregnancy. That's what I suspect. And, and really get on with the treatment.

45:29 Caller Because the doctor told her that there's no threat to it right now.

45:34 Drew No, there's no threat to the pregnancy. But there's a threat to her.

45:37 Adam But in the course of the treatment, could that render her unable to have children? It's kind of, it's kind of tough. She just had one child die.

45:45 Drew Yeah.

45:45 Adam Now she's got another. Oh, she can't get an abortion. And then possibly can't have any more kids.

45:50 Drew Maybe that's where they're going to see this one through. I mean, just, uh, just.

45:54 Adam Hey Vincent.

45:54 Drew Vincent, when you go in with her to some of these doctor meetings and the, is that where you'll understand more about what's going on and you can support her? There's a ton of information missing.

46:02 Caller Yeah, that's what I've been trying to do. I just play, I get in, I get more involved out of it.

46:07 Drew Go to the doctor meetings with her and sit in the room and listen.

46:10 Adam Vincent, what part of the world are you from? What part of the world are you from?

46:15 Caller Uh, Philippines.

46:17 Adam Oh, okay.

46:18 Drew Is that where she's from too?

46:19 Caller Uh, no.

46:21 Drew Oh, okay.

46:21 Adam Yeah, go in and find out more information and call us back. I thought he was going to sell me some nuts. For me, I'm with the accent.

46:29 Drew Can you get his number and call him back like in a week or so? Vincent, line 32.

46:34 Adam Your six-year-old dies and now you're pregnant and you're like what, an abortion, what, three weeks after your only child dies? You know what I'm talking about?

46:47 All right.

46:51 Adam Okay, Drew, I want to share my car.

46:53 Drew Oh, good.

46:53 Adam We'll take a break.

46:54 Drew We'll be back. We're here. Oh, we are, aren't we?

47:18 Adam Yeah, I drifted off. Hey, Loveline, everybody. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew. I'm Adam. And let's get back to the phones and speak to Brand. Brand, who is 20. Brand?

47:33 Caller Yep.

47:33 Adam What's up?

47:34 Caller Basically, I think my situation is similar to what you might have, Adam. I have a stash of porn. And...

47:42 Drew Hey, Adam, I don't think they were called your collection or your museum, your bunker, a stash.

47:48 Adam No. It would be like going to the Louvre and calling that a stash of art.

47:52 Drew Yeah, the art piece of Ali County Museum of Art or something.

47:55 Caller Oh, so it has more. Okay. But anyway, I have a stash of porn, and I was wondering if a girl, if I'm dating someone and she finds out and she's pretty innocent, you know, what's her reaction? You know, before I thought, you know, it would be nothing, but then my friends, I was talking to a couple of friends, female friends, and they said, yeah, a couple of girls might freak out. Yeah. Yeah. That's true.

48:18 Adam Well, best to hide as much from your dates as possible, I've found.

48:23 Caller I've found out a lot of girls are pretty snoopy. They come over to your place and they start it.

48:28 Drew Oh, I might use the security measures that you have at your bunker.

48:31 Adam Well, I use, I have a, I just installed a new retina reading system. It actually reads my retina. I have to put my face into a thing that kind of looks like a, you know, a periscope on a submarine. There's a little shaded eye, a thing like that. Reads the retina and then as you know, the hand print and the urine analysis and then Yeah, so no one else getting in there. No, that's the sound it makes.

48:54 Caller Yeah, mine's pretty, uh.

48:56 Adam Hey, Brad, do you really look at this as a problem? That you're not going to be able to hide your porn from your date who comes over to your house?

49:03 Caller Well, I didn't think, was this something, because, you know, you talk about it a lot and, you know, I just had a conversation with my, Yeah, I don't think women are going to be impressed with that.

49:11 Drew Generally. No.

49:12 Caller You think they're going to, like, not see me anymore because of that? Depends.

49:17 Drew Depends what stage of the relationship you're pulling that stuff out. You know, someone who is at ease with that understands men's ways. Yeah. Yeah. Might not be a big deal if she really is into you.

49:28 Adam Look, here's the way, the good news about porn is it's sort of done, it's almost in stages, you know. You start off with a playboy and see what kind of reaction you get and then you work your way up into black stumps or whatever they got. You know what I mean?

49:45 Drew Whatever's at hand.

49:46 Adam Strange stuff from Europe. You work your way into it. Put the playboy by the toilet.

49:53 Drew Oh, I see you're going to work her into it too.

49:55 Adam Well, that's a good...

49:56 Drew Move her along the same path you fell through.

49:58 Adam Here's what you do. You get a little magazine rack, you get a little magazine basket.

50:04 Drew I'm in the playboy this month.

50:06 Adam You put... Oh, what? Yeah. What are you doing in playboy?

50:09 Drew I don't know, some Q&A sometime.

50:11 Adam Really? Yeah. Which show? Is that out yet?

50:13 Drew August.

50:15 Adam That's probably out, right? This playboy comes out eight months before whatever month.

50:19 Drew I've been gone already.

50:22 Adam August 2002 is going to hit the stands in another three weeks.

50:26 Caller Good times.

50:27 Adam Put that in and spread it out. You do what I do. You get a car magazine, model airplane magazine, and then the playboy and you put that in the basket by the head. That shows you're well-rounded and initiates them into some mild porn.

50:43 Drew That doesn't want to be an antique book of antiques or an architectural digest.

50:50 Adam You could throw in an Ikea catalog or something. Something that shows some diversity.

50:58 Drew You would be too gay to put an architectural digest in there?

51:02 Adam Yeah, that's a little gay. You're Sam?

51:06 Caller Yes.

51:07 Adam You're 40?

51:08 Caller Yes.

51:10 Adam What are you doing?

51:11 Caller What am I doing?

51:12 Caller Yeah.

51:13 Caller As for my life or what?

51:15 Drew No, what's making all that racket?

51:16 Adam Right now.

51:17 Caller Well, I was actually putting my kids to bed and stuff.

51:19 Caller All right.

51:20 Caller Trying to call you in.

51:21 Adam Okay.

51:22 Drew Sound like she's operating like one of those Jetsons.

51:24 Caller Oh, I know.

51:25 Caller I heard that too.

51:26 Caller I was calling because I wanted to find out some information on the longevity of pot smoking as far as sexuality goes, like with a man.

51:38 Drew Why don't you be real specific here? What do you got?

51:40 Caller What I want to know is, if you smoke pot for a really long time...

51:44 Drew How long?

51:47 Caller Well, I'm thinking probably...

51:50 Drew 20 years?

51:51 Caller Almost. Yeah, probably 25 years.

51:53 Drew Okay.

51:55 Caller Does it like really mess up your sexuality? Yes, it does.

51:58 Caller Like your ability to have sex?

51:59 Drew Oh, yes. They can. Very much so.

52:02 Caller Okay. I've had some major problems with my seem to be ex-husband, as far as sexuality goes. I just wonder... He just has no ambition...

52:14 Drew Yeah, that's the pot. It's not so much erectile function as if they just aren't interested. And usually at the point at which they're having those kinds of symptoms, they're usually having trouble functioning at work, they're kind of depressed, they may be having sometimes panic attacks.

52:26 Caller He has his own business and it just is like falling through...

52:30 Drew There it is. That's what happens. The business starts failing, they start getting depressed, and that all kind of goes together. And you have to be careful. This is the point at which people often find their way to speed because speed magically corrects all this. It reverses some of the chemical issues here, and then they get profoundly and rapidly addicted to speed. So he needs treatment. And he should not try stopping, frankly, on his own. The incidence of suicidiality, thinking about suicide, and the first six months of marijuana abstinence in somebody like him is rather quite high.

53:02 Caller Really?

53:02 Drew Yeah.

53:03 Adam Well, you're breaking up with him anyways.

53:06 Caller I kicked him out of the house.

53:07 Drew What? Yeah, you have to get his attention somehow, and he is, you know, people that smoke pot, it is their life. They are profoundly addicted to it. They can't imagine living without it. And the consequences of the use have to be so profound that they have to do something.

53:23 Caller I am just totally, I am unaware of somebody who can be so unable to function on a daily basis as far as taking care of things, like around the house or...

53:36 Drew Yeah, but this is, listen, they have even shown in middle-aged teenagers, teenagers and the mid-adolescents, that it shrinks the right frontal lobe of the brain, which is the part of your brain where your sense of yourself is, a lot of your motivational sources are profound, profound biological changes that occur over a long period of exposure to a powerful drug. Why would that surprise you?

53:59 Caller Well...

54:00 Drew Here's the interesting thing, Sam, is that not only is he not able to do things, he probably has all kinds of great ideas and intentions, but he can't do them. It appears that what the pot does over a long period of time, it blocks the ability to go from intention and idea to action. And so the actions never are initiated.

54:17 Adam Well, except for beating off and scraping resins. Those dreams you realize on a daily basis. Well, listen, you're breaking up with this guy anyway, right?

54:26 Caller I am. But you're also the father of four of my kids.

54:30 Adam Four?

54:31 Caller Yeah.

54:32 Adam You really had to have four kids with Cheech and Chong? Four?

54:37 Caller They got my genes, baby, though.

54:39 Caller That's all that matters.

54:40 Drew What do you mean?

54:40 Adam Yeah, the genes that like the F'd up guys. Hold on a second. I'm going to put you on hold because she talks whenever I talk or vice versa. Let's talk about that smart gene.

54:52 Drew Yeah.

54:52 Adam Hook yourself up with the addict. The guy's been smoking weed nonstop for 25 years and crank out four kids with him. You call that genius? What do you mean to say? That smart genius?

55:03 Drew They got those genes.

55:05 Adam They got them genes.

55:06 Caller Yeah.

55:08 Adam Hey, Sam, according to your math, they'll hook themselves up with an addict, too, God willing. I hope not. Well, they got your genes.

55:17 Caller No. I'm trying to teach them different, so.

55:21 Adam All right. Well, you got to show them different.

55:23 Drew There are two things that you need to know very clearly. There's a 50% per child risk of them inheriting his gene. So probably two of them have his genes and the predisposition for addiction. And secondly, the only thing that really will significantly alter their codependency and their probability of developing addictive disease is his going into recovery. So you really need to drive that point home with him, okay?

55:50 Adam Alright Sam, good luck.

55:52 Alright, thank you.

55:53 Adam Take care of those kids.

55:54 Alright.

55:56 Drew Oh boy. You know, I was on a couple of new shows over the weekend that the Surgeon General put out a report.

56:00 Adam Oh, you were on what, 2020 on Friday night?

56:04 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, that was 48 hours.

56:05 Adam Or 48 hours? I knew it had a number in there.

56:07 Drew That was what I was talking about.

56:09 Adam Well, you said you were on some new shows over the weekend.

56:11 Drew No, no, I did some new shows about the Surgeon General's report. He came out and said, Ladies and gentlemen, we got a problem with young people and sexually transmitted diseases here. We got to be more open about it. We had to talk more liberally. Right. Service went insane. Really? How dare you? I went out of my mind. I got on some of these news talk shows and said, Look, do you want kids to get better? You want young people to be healthier or don't you? You want to help them? Shut up. Don't politicize it.

56:36 Adam Well, what were they complaining about?

56:38 Drew Oh, well, you know, you're saying that we aren't talking enough about abstinence. You're advocating maybe that we should be discussing this in schools. How dare you? And in the report, it was crystal clear. Abstinence is the healthiest goal at certain ages. But in certain monogamous circumstances, at certain ages, it's a natural thing for kids to engage in these things. Therefore, we should help them prepare for it.

57:00 Adam What's the name of the surgeon general?

57:03 Drew Satcher. Satcher?

57:04 Adam I'll tell you what I think they ought to do. I think they ought to treat the surgeon general like the Pope position. There's like a hundred John Pauls.

57:11 Drew Yeah, all the same name.

57:14 Adam This guy should be Jocelyn Elders, the third, or Coop the Third. See Everett Coop the Third?

57:21 Drew That name has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

57:23 Adam He's a black guy, right? With the beard?

57:25 Drew But he's got Coop's look.

57:26 Adam He's got Coop's beard. I don't want this to sound offensive, but he really looks like the guy from the Uncle Ben's box. The Converted Rice?

57:36 Drew I don't understand why anyone would consider that offensive.

57:38 Adam He just looks like the guy. Have you seen this guy? He's a distinguished looking black man in his 60s. He looks like the Uncle Ben's guy.

57:46 Drew He's by the way my hero. I really commend him for stepping up and just saying what we know for 20 years.

57:51 Adam He's not worried about getting an SCAN like Jocelyn Elders for talking about masturbation?

57:56 Drew No, he's really assembled a very scientifically sound group and just stood on their heads. We've known this for a long time. In the Bush camp, they should just say, hey, the Surgeon General, his job is to state the issues, not to politicize it. Of course, they go, oh no, he's Clinton's appointee. We don't want anything to do with him.

58:15 Adam Well, and why aren't you appointed to that council, by the way?

58:18 Drew I actually was supposed to be a part of that. I couldn't get out there.

58:22 Adam Kristen, you're 17? Yes.

58:24 Drew I'll do something for Rosalyn Carter instead in the fall.

58:26 Adam You are? Yeah. Building a house?

58:29 Drew No, more about mental health.

58:30 Adam All right. What's up there, Kristen?

58:33 Caller Okay, basically, I had my appendix taken out in April, and very briefly before I had my surgery, when the doctor, the ER doctor, was explaining it to my parents, how urgent it was for me to have the surgery as soon as possible. They had mentioned that when females have appendicitis, that it is somewhat possible for us to become infertile, and nobody ever explained it to me, like beyond anything.

59:05 Drew I can only imagine that as it becomes so infected that they have to go in and surgically clean things out. That's the only way I can imagine that happening.

59:13 Caller Yeah, because they didn't think it was as bad as it was to begin with, and then when they took it out, they were completely shocked.

59:20 Drew Yeah, but you didn't have abscess formation, you didn't need months of IV antibiotics.

59:23 Caller No, that's the only way.

59:25 Drew You haven't had adhesion formation, they haven't had to go back in.

59:28 Caller No.

59:28 Drew No, relax. Alright.

59:31 Adam Where is that appendix? Is it inside the body or outside the body?

59:35 Drew Inside, most of the time. No, that's, well, it's, oh, that's interesting.

59:42 Adam Drew will explain what is inside the body and what is outside the body.

59:45 Drew The lumen of the appendix is outside the body, but the appendix has parts of it that are inside the body.

59:52 Adam Well, I've always said that. Hear it to me. Anything that's inside your underpants and t-shirt is inside the body. That's the way I look at it.

59:59 Drew So your penis is inside the body.

1:00:01 Adam Inside the body.

1:00:02 Drew Well, yours goes in some of the time.

1:00:03 Adam When it's cold. When it's cold. Or when I get scared when someone raises their voice or honks the horn. Or I hear a dog barking. But Drew, your stomach is inside or outside the body?

1:00:19 Drew There's a tube going from your mouth to your anus.

1:00:21 Adam That is that path is outside the body. Outside the body.

1:00:24 Drew But the organs, you know, once you, you know.

1:00:28 Adam The part that runs straight through your body is outside the body.

1:00:31 Drew Exactly. The part that connects to the outside world is outside the body.

1:00:34 Adam And just to try to clarify things. When you're driving through the Holland Tunnel, you're inside the tunnel or outside the tunnel?

1:00:44 Drew You're not in the water. You're in the air. You're connected with the outside world.

1:00:50 Adam Ah, see? You can use that. Then use that. That's very good.

1:00:53 Drew Thank you for offering that to me.

1:00:54 Adam So the Holland Tunnel goes under what? The Hudson River? What's it go under? Goes under a river?

1:01:00 Drew Yeah.

1:01:01 Adam Right. Holland River? No.

1:01:03 Drew No, it's Mr. Holland, I think.

1:01:04 Adam So you go in the tunnel.

1:01:07 Drew You're in the air. You're in the air, open space.

1:01:09 Adam So you use that. You're not in the river, which would be inside the body.

1:01:16 Drew Inside the body.

1:01:17 Adam Nick? Yeah. You're 20?

1:01:18 Caller Yeah, I am.

1:01:19 Adam What's up?

1:01:21 Caller Well, I was diagnosed with mild depression about a year ago because I couldn't sleep. And I still can't. There's a history of alcoholism in my family. I feel that I am becoming more and more of an alcoholic and possibly more and more depressed. My symptoms, I guess, are...

1:01:44 Drew Well, where are you going with this? You want to ask where to go next or...

1:01:47 Caller Yeah, pretty much.

1:01:48 Drew Have you started antidepressant medicine?

1:01:51 Caller Well, they gave me Trazodone to help me sleep. You're taking it? I was.

1:01:56 Drew Did it work?

1:01:57 Caller It didn't.

1:01:58 Drew Okay, then you should go back. I have noticed, now this is sort of my opinion, okay, that for alcoholics, for people with that genetic makeup, which you pretty clearly have, Serizone, which is what's called a 5-HT3 agonist, that it's a particular stimulation of the serotonin system. I've seen remarkable success with that drug, so I would ask you, and it's good for sleep, too, so I would ask you about Serizone. I would ask about that one. There's a growing body of evidence that that particular receptor may be important for alcoholics for various reasons. And then don't expect your depression really to get better until you deal with your alcoholism.

1:02:38 Caller Okay, and I mean, the sleep thing is a big deal.

1:02:44 Drew Then get it properly treated. Don't just, you know, like if you were a diabetic and they handed you insulin, would you walk away and not go back? No, you keep going back and make sure it's adjusted properly, make sure your symptoms are well controlled, make sure side effects weren't unpleasant or uncomfortable. Get properly treated.

1:02:59 Adam All right, maybe go to a sleep center.

1:03:01 Drew No, no, no, no. Stay with, they're going to, they're pretty clear that it's depression at this point. It sounds like it's depression and he's an alcoholic.

1:03:07 Adam What is that, serozone? Is that an antidepressant or a sleep aid or what is that?

1:03:10 Drew It's an antidepressant but it has powerful sleep properties. But it seems to work especially. It's remarkably effective for the alcoholics, I treat.

1:03:17 Adam All right, Matt?

1:03:20 Hi.

1:03:20 Adam Hey, you're 14. What's up there, Squirrely?

1:03:25 Caller Yeah, I masturbate.

1:03:27 Like, how it comes out, like, usually it's clear.

1:03:31 Adam Nice.

1:03:32 Caller I'm not really like sterile or something. Like, what's going on there?

1:03:35 Drew No, you're just kind of clear. You're masturbating a lot?

1:03:40 Caller Well, not really.

1:03:41 Adam I mean, I don't know.

1:03:44 Caller Usually like every day but sometimes I go for a while without doing it.

1:03:47 Drew Is it less clear when you wait a while? All right, that's you.

1:03:53 Adam Well, maybe, this happened to me sometimes and I realized I wasn't shaking my balls up before I masturbated. Sometimes the colored stuff settles at the bottom. It's like using a whipped cream or spray paint can. You shake it around until you hear that tic-tic-tic-tic-tic, you know, the ball bouncing around in there. Then it comes out. It's very frothy and white at that point.

1:04:12 Drew There you go.

1:04:13 Adam So shake the balls.

1:04:14 Drew All right. Sometimes I turn it upside down.

1:04:16 Caller Yeah, I want to know.

1:04:17 Adam Yeah, clear the nozzle. Yeah, I masturbate upside down so I don't get my urethra clogged.

1:04:22 Dude, you beat off?

1:04:24 Drew What's that?

1:04:25 Caller I want to know. Adam has the, you know, he knows if you're a virgin by hearing your voice.

1:04:31 Drew Yeah. Yeah, you're a virgin, man.

1:04:33 Adam No, I don't know.

1:04:34 Drew No, you don't know?

1:04:34 Adam Well, here's the thing. He's 14. He sounded like one at the beginning, but now I've heard him for a little while. I'm going with no virgin.

1:04:43 Caller Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

1:04:46 Drew He's proud.

1:04:46 Adam Yeah, of course. And why would he ask the question if he was a virgin?

1:04:50 Drew Right.

1:04:50 Adam You see that, man? I'm smaller. I'm smarter than all of you. All right. Yeah. Whatever. I said smaller. All right. You ready to keep rolling here, Drew? I sure am. You can't articulate yourself any better than that. Why do I get the feeling Anderson puts that on a loop, goes home, smokes weed, and throws darts at a picture of me and just hears that in a never ending loop until he passes out on the one bed on the futon he grew up on?

1:05:16 Drew Between that one and the...

1:05:17 Adam The world is always this way. Because that's all the world is. Sarah? Sarah?

1:05:28 Caller That'd be me.

1:05:29 Adam Yeah. You're 26. What's up?

1:05:31 Caller I'm 26 and there's a guy who's 43. He works in the same field that I do, which is engineering and kind of technical stuff that not a lot of people can talk about. And I met him at this conference. I actually met him a couple of times prior to that and I'd been interested in him. And then he...

1:05:46 Drew You're 26, right?

1:05:47 Caller I'm 26 and he's 43 and he's got an 8-year-old daughter.

1:05:50 Drew Is he married?

1:05:51 Caller He is not married. The relationship... He had a 4-year marriage and 6 years ago.

1:05:55 Drew All right. Well, game on.

1:05:57 Caller Game on?

1:05:57 Drew Yeah. Good times. I mean, be careful. He's in a sort of different stage of his life.

1:06:03 Caller You're talking about buying a Corvette.

1:06:04 Caller Is that like... Am I going to be the midlife crisis relationship?

1:06:07 Drew Yeah. That's kind of a little squirrely at 43. I cannot imagine driving a Corvette now.

1:06:11 Adam Why? The new vets are pretty nice.

1:06:13 Drew They're nice, but I couldn't imagine driving it.

1:06:14 Caller You're talking about one of the new vets. Or maybe waiting on getting one of the 2003 Mustangs when they come out because they're going to be...

1:06:19 Caller Oh, that's a little different.

1:06:20 Adam Yeah. Why? The Mustang better than the Vette? The Vette is such a...

1:06:24 Caller The Vette is cheaper than the Vette, but...

1:06:25 Adam The Vette is such a...

1:06:26 Caller But the sports car and the 26-year-old and he's... Okay.

1:06:29 Adam Yeah. He's enjoying himself.

1:06:32 Caller Okay.

1:06:32 Adam Yeah, that's fine.

1:06:33 Caller Ready?

1:06:34 Caller All right.

1:06:34 Adam Good times.

1:06:35 Caller Take care.

1:06:35 Caller Bye-bye.

1:06:36 Adam Bye-bye. All right. She's eager to get with the guy. Listen, you know, I was thinking about this while I was driving my nice car today, and I was thinking, you know, is a guy... And here's what a lot of guys do. And I'm not saying that this guy did this, but guys... And you know, ladies, I know you get upset that these guys get into their late 30s or their early 40s or even 50s and want to have a good time, want to date the hot chicks, want to drive the nice cars. But you know what you girls are doing at 19?

1:07:06 Drew Dating those guys.

1:07:07 Adam Dating those guys. And not the guys in their 50s, but as a guy...

1:07:13 Drew So the guy works 24-7 for 20 years trying to become that guy.

1:07:18 Adam Yeah, as a guy, you are in bad shape as a young man. Especially if you don't come from anything and life's not treating you too good. You're driving a crappy car, you got a crappy job, you're not pulling a lot of tail, you got a bunch of roommates and stuff. You're no catch. And life for most guys, zero to 30, is not that great sometimes. And then what happens to a lot of guys is they start getting it on track, they end up getting married at 28, right when things are starting to shape up, the income, the sports cars, the house and all that kind of stuff. Then they've been married for 10 years and they get divorced and all of a sudden they're 42 and they don't feel like they've ever went out and sowed their oats or used that sports car to draw a little tail. They want to kick up their heels and bang a 26 year old.

1:08:07 Caller Come here and give me a hug.

1:08:12 Adam Let's say more power to them. Drew doesn't trust it.

1:08:16 Drew Right. If you don't trust it, again, this is the inside issue again. If we just accept it's not to be trusted, what do you mean? That it's not the most altruistic way to approach relationships. We really care about the other person.

1:08:32 Adam I'm just being cathartic, really. I'm 37 now and I'm trying to have a good time. Play a bunch of basketball and drive sports cars all day.

1:08:45 Caller Yeah.

1:08:45 Adam You're 21?

1:08:46 Caller Yes, I am.

1:08:47 Drew What's up?

1:08:48 Caller Nothing.

1:08:48 Caller I just wanted to call and say hi.

1:08:50 Caller No, I'm just kidding.

1:08:52 Caller I actually had a question for Drew. My boyfriend and I have been going out for two and a half years.

1:08:58 Caller We both lost our virginity to each other.

1:09:02 Caller Actually I've never had an orgasm. I've never masturbated because it doesn't turn me on or anything. So I don't know and I've kind of started to lose interest in sex because of it, because I've never had an orgasm.

1:09:16 Drew After the break.

1:09:17 Adam Alright, hang on there Janelle.

1:09:19 Caller Oh, I'm sorry.

1:09:20 Adam No, it's alright. We've got to take a little commercial break. Then we're going to get back and I'm going to guarantee you an orgasm when we come back, okay?

1:09:27 Drew Adam's orgasmic guarantee.

1:09:29 Adam Yeah, I can't give it to women who are actually in the room. But over the phone I think I can do it after this. Hey, everybody, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew over there. Let's get back to the phones and finish up with Janelle. Oh, right. I promised her an orgasm.

1:10:00 Drew Right, because you guaranteed it.

1:10:01 Adam Oh, really?

1:10:02 Caller Yeah, you did.

1:10:04 Drew Well, Janelle, are you on any medication?

1:10:07 Caller Well, I'm on birth control.

1:10:08 Drew What are you taking? Ortho-striping. And you had any problems with your libido with that medication?

1:10:14 Caller Well, I've been taking it since we've been going out, but the first month, when we first started going out, we were having sex and I didn't have it either. I don't know, you know.

1:10:24 Drew I understand you're not having orgasm, but did you have any drop in your libido or sexual desire or anything like that?

1:10:28 Caller Well, I don't know when it started.

1:10:30 Adam Okay. Never had an orgasm in your life?

1:10:34 Caller No.

1:10:34 Adam And do not masturbate?

1:10:37 Caller No.

1:10:38 Adam And you've only been with one man? Yes. But do you think he's a satisfactory lover?

1:10:44 Caller Yes.

1:10:44 Adam You do?

1:10:45 Caller Yes.

1:10:45 Adam And does he go down on you?

1:10:47 Caller Yes, he does.

1:10:49 Adam For what period of time?

1:10:52 Caller Not for forever or anything. A long enough period of time.

1:10:57 Adam Would you like a little more, maybe?

1:10:59 Caller No.

1:11:00 Adam No.

1:11:00 Caller Usually when he's, you know, I'm usually, you know, done. You know what I mean? I'm kind of just like, okay, that's enough.

1:11:07 Drew I don't know.

1:11:08 Caller It's not like the greatest thing.

1:11:10 Drew How about the duration of intercourse? Is that okay?

1:11:13 Caller No.

1:11:14 Drew That needs to be longer?

1:11:15 Caller Yeah.

1:11:16 Drew That might be the whole thing right there.

1:11:17 Caller Yeah. Well, the thing is, is he just really, he comes really fast and then he can't do it afterwards.

1:11:23 Caller Like he says, it tickles.

1:11:25 Caller So.

1:11:27 Adam But he's a good lover.

1:11:28 Caller I'm sorry?

1:11:29 Adam But he's good other than the air is great.

1:11:32 Caller Excellent.

1:11:32 Caller Yeah. It's just that it happens really, you know, he comes really fast.

1:11:36 Adam Well, maybe he's not satisfying you. I mean, that could be part of it.

1:11:41 Caller Okay. So how does he?

1:11:43 Adam Well, he needs to work on his technique a little bit.

1:11:47 Drew And you, you need to let it be known what it is you need.

1:11:50 Adam Or at least what you'd like.

1:11:51 Drew Or what you think might work for you. I'm sure you'd be delighted to try to try to oblige.

1:11:56 Adam Well, what about masturbation? What's so wrong with that?

1:11:59 Caller I don't know. It just doesn't turn me on.

1:12:01 Drew There's a lot of women talking about that. It just doesn't make sense to them. It doesn't work.

1:12:05 Caller I don't know. I don't know the way I was raised. I was raised Mormon and then, you know, I worked, you know, now I'm just like anti-Mormon and everything.

1:12:15 Adam But meanwhile, you can't have any orgasms. Tell your dad mission accomplished next time you see him.

1:12:21 Drew The problem with those no orgasms is they keep trying to up the ante.

1:12:26 Adam Well, not her. She's been with one guy and this guy's not doing too well.

1:12:29 Drew Yeah. What about some sort of device, some sort of assistive device?

1:12:34 Caller I think my friend suggested that. I've never thought about doing it really, because I don't know if it would turn me on really.

1:12:40 Adam Okay. Well, here's the deal, Janelle. You can't, and I know it's different for women than it is for men.

1:12:46 Caller Yeah.

1:12:47 Adam And you're 21, you're young, you still have time and a lot of women don't start coming into their own, pardon the pun, until later on in life. But you can't really sit around and complain about not having an orgasm and not be open to trying some new things, giving some input to your lover, masturbation, devices even, things like that. I mean, it's got to be kind of one or the other. If you don't like the way things are now, then just like any other facet of life, you have to sort of put your time in.

1:13:18 Caller Okay.

1:13:19 Adam Or maybe it's not your thing and you're just not that interested in it and who cares?

1:13:23 Caller Right.

1:13:24 Adam I don't know which one it is for you.

1:13:26 Drew She seems interested.

1:13:27 Adam But I think this guy, this guy, he's no Sting. He's not banging the bejesus out of you for nine hours, like Sting claims to do. So you may have to sort of discover what you like on your own and then guide him toward what you like and that may be something for you to discover on your own time.

1:13:48 Caller What, by like masturbating?

1:13:49 Adam Yeah, I think, I think that's the key.

1:13:52 Caller Okay.

1:13:52 Adam I think you have to sort of figure yourself out a little bit.

1:13:55 Caller Okay.

1:13:56 Drew I'm not sure that she's going to be able to do that.

1:13:57 Adam She's not going to do that. But is it to the point where you actually feel sort of dirty when you're on your own?

1:14:03 Caller Yeah.

1:14:03 Adam I mean, what about when you go number two? Does that bother you?

1:14:06 Caller No.

1:14:07 Adam You wipe your ass, you take a look at the mess you made out of the toilet, no problem?

1:14:13 Caller Um, I don't look at it, no.

1:14:14 Adam Oh, you don't?

1:14:15 Caller No.

1:14:16 Adam Hey, you're really missing out on one of life's simplest pleasures.

1:14:20 Drew That's a male thing. There's a man show bit in there.

1:14:22 Adam I read the lumps on my BM.

1:14:24 Drew Nice.

1:14:24 Adam Like many people could read skulls around the eternity of the century.

1:14:27 Drew Telling the future, reading the Pigeon and Trails and things.

1:14:30 Caller Yeah, nice.

1:14:31 Adam That's right. That's right. So you don't turn around and look before you flush, huh?

1:14:36 Caller No.

1:14:36 Adam Really?

1:14:37 Drew Well, she does, but not with the kind of pride that you have.

1:14:40 Adam You don't get the jeweler's loop out and get down on one knee.

1:14:42 Caller I don't know how much I've done or anything, no.

1:14:45 Adam Hold on. Was that the S word there, Janelle? Yeah.

1:14:51 Drew That's a bad, because Anderson kicked in.

1:14:53 Adam That's interesting that somebody is so poised they do not look back at their own fecal matter then uses the S word on the air.

1:15:05 Drew Well, back to the point.

1:15:05 Adam All right. Well, hold on. I'm not done with this, Janelle. Janelle.

1:15:08 Caller Yeah?

1:15:09 Adam After you make number two, you have to turn around to flush the toilet, don't you? You got to give a little glance as you turn around, right?

1:15:17 Caller I've seen it before, but I don't like to turn around.

1:15:19 Adam So you know what it would look like.

1:15:20 Caller I study it.

1:15:21 Adam I see. I see. You make it...

1:15:24 Drew Just take a moment here.

1:15:25 Adam You have to take a moment here.

1:15:25 Drew Just take a moment here and reflect on what you're doing. You're abusing this young lady for not inspecting her poo.

1:15:32 Adam I'm so proud of you. Here's why. Here's what I'm doing with Janelle. I need to break her down just a little bit.

1:15:37 Drew I see. You want her to get a little more real.

1:15:39 Adam She needs to loosen up. She needs to get a little more real. She needs to get a little more in touch. That's how she's going to find her orgasm. You're a little uptight, Janelle.

1:15:50 Caller How so? Because I don't look at my crap?

1:15:54 Adam That's just part of it. Now, you don't smoke any weed or drink, do you?

1:15:59 Caller I drink.

1:16:01 Adam Oh, do you?

1:16:01 Caller Yes.

1:16:03 Caller I drink way too much. I don't smoke now.

1:16:07 Adam Way too much? What is that, a wine cooler?

1:16:09 Caller No, not like I'm an alcoholic or anything, but when I drink, I can't control it, really.

1:16:13 Drew That was just interesting. You know, ethnic Mormons have a real high biological burden for this stuff.

1:16:19 Caller That's actually, I've heard that Mormons, when they stop going to church, they're worse.

1:16:25 Drew I really don't believe it's a rebound against the church. I believe it's just part of the biology because it's a small community.

1:16:31 Adam Right. Janelle, before you go to bed tonight, I would like you to touch yourself just a little bit. Think of me if you must or more about a woman. Think of Drew and see if you can't start finding yourself a little bit.

1:16:49 Drew Yeah, you know what, the whole masturbation thing for women, men cannot instruct a woman how to do that. Impossible.

1:16:57 Adam I can point her toward the tub and tell her she might have some success there.

1:17:00 Drew Women need to discuss that amongst themselves. There's a language they need to discuss. It's not about what a man does. It's a totally different experience for them and they need to develop a language or something that helps one another along with that because men talking about it does not help them. It makes them feel inadequate.

1:17:16 Adam I can just though see Janelle lying there sort of staring at the ceiling counting by the Mississippi's as her boyfriend goes down on her and not really getting into it.

1:17:31 Drew I think she's not into the going down stuff so much.

1:17:34 Adam Okay, here's the thing. As a guy, we don't have to be into it. It's a mechanical thing.

1:17:40 Drew We barely have to have a pulse.

1:17:41 Adam That's right. That's the point. As a girl...

1:17:44 Drew You certainly don't need a functioning nervous system.

1:17:45 Adam As a woman to have that orgasm, you've got to get to that place.

1:17:49 Drew Other women need to tell her what that is.

1:17:52 Adam All right. We'll think about her friends. Shannon?

1:17:56 Caller Yeah.

1:17:57 Adam You're 23?

1:17:58 Caller Yes, I am.

1:17:58 Adam What's up?

1:17:59 Caller Well, I just recently moved to a little small town. And when I moved away, I had a friend who had come pretty close. And now I've got the hops for her. And I don't think she knows about it.

1:18:12 Drew Are you gay?

1:18:13 Caller Pretty much, yeah.

1:18:14 Drew You're sort of bi?

1:18:15 Caller Yeah.

1:18:16 Drew And is the friend?

1:18:17 Caller She's bi also, yeah.

1:18:19 Drew And you moved far away from her?

1:18:22 Caller About 3,000 miles.

1:18:23 Drew How smart would that be to try to get involved with somebody from 3,000 miles away?

1:18:27 Caller Well, I go back every probably two months and I stay at her place, so.

1:18:31 Drew Ooh.

1:18:31 Caller Yeah.

1:18:32 Adam How long do you stay there for?

1:18:35 Caller Well, right before I moved, I stayed there about two months. And...

1:18:38 Drew And that's when you developed the hops?

1:18:40 Caller Kind of before, but...

1:18:42 Adam No, but I'm trying to figure out when you go back, how long you stay there for.

1:18:46 Caller Well, about two weeks.

1:18:47 Adam Two weeks?

1:18:48 Caller Roughly, yeah.

1:18:49 Adam Alright. And you're living where now?

1:18:53 Caller In Southeast Nebraska.

1:18:55 Adam Oh, it's God's country out there.

1:18:57 Caller Something like that, yeah.

1:18:59 Adam And where do you hail from? Where is she from? She's in Seattle?

1:19:03 Caller Yeah.

1:19:04 Adam Jesus Christ, is that 3,000 miles?

1:19:06 Caller No.

1:19:07 Adam No, it's not that far.

1:19:08 Drew About two, right?

1:19:09 Caller Okay, I guess so. About 30-hour drive, I guess.

1:19:12 Adam Oh, well, when you're translating into... Yeah, that's bad. Well, that's white trash when you convert everything into driving. Like, where are you going on vacation? I'm going to France. How long does it take you to get there? 370 hours by... Well, that's when we take the Chevette. We take the Monte Carlo. I think we're about 325, 330. But, Drew, do you remember those days when everything could get converted? Here's the whole thing about the car, the converting into car. Once you get further than, let's say, 350, 400 miles, you have to convert into plane time.

1:19:46 Drew Yes.

1:19:47 Adam You can't just keep going with car.

1:19:48 Drew Isn't there a rule?

1:19:49 Adam I would like to now make the rule that if it's further...

1:19:53 Drew Than San Francisco from Los Angeles.

1:19:54 Adam From, say, LA to Frisco. That's it. Maybe parts of Utah or something like that.

1:20:00 Drew No. Vegas, maybe. Yeah.

1:20:04 Adam And I'll tell you when you've really hit the white trash when you start converting into bus. Well, that's a 1400-hour bus ride. Taking a bus to Fiji. Yeah, that's bad. All right. So we got to talk to this Shannon over here. Shannon?

1:20:22 Caller Yeah.

1:20:23 Adam What do you do now when you head back into Seattle?

1:20:27 Caller Pretty much just...

1:20:29 Drew Are you going for business?

1:20:30 Caller No, I just hang out. Just slack.

1:20:33 Drew Two...

1:20:34 Adam And then for two weeks?

1:20:37 Caller Yeah.

1:20:38 Drew I find that bizarre.

1:20:39 Adam Hey, how do you support yourself?

1:20:42 Caller I work at a facility for the mentally retarded.

1:20:46 Adam I see.

1:20:46 Drew And they give you two weeks off every two months?

1:20:48 Caller Pretty much.

1:20:49 Drew And you spend... That's your vacation time spent in Seattle? Yeah.

1:20:53 Adam Two weeks... Do you work part-time?

1:20:55 Caller No, I work full-time.

1:20:57 Adam You got a full-time gig, and they give you two weeks off every few months?

1:21:02 Caller Pretty much, yeah.

1:21:04 Drew Wow.

1:21:05 Adam You don't get paid for those two weeks.

1:21:06 Caller No, no, no.

1:21:08 Drew Is it designed that way so you don't burn out?

1:21:10 Caller Pretty much, yeah.

1:21:11 Drew Why did you leave? I find those vague answers very unsatisfactory.

1:21:14 Adam Yeah, you're pretty much just really upsetting us.

1:21:18 Drew Pretty much. Why did you leave Seattle?

1:21:20 Caller Well, I lost my job and...

1:21:23 Drew What was your job there?

1:21:24 Caller I was a nanny.

1:21:25 Caller Okay.

1:21:28 Caller And then I got in a fight with my roommates and so I was basically couchsurfing for two months.

1:21:33 Drew What was the fight about?

1:21:35 Caller Well...

1:21:36 Adam She was saying pretty much too much and they really had it out one day.

1:21:39 Caller All right, party pants. No, actually I didn't come home all that often and they found it mildly offensive that I was never home.

1:21:47 Drew Wow, Adam, how would you feel if some of your roommates never showed up?

1:21:50 Adam Good riddance.

1:21:51 Drew Riddance? Celebrate.

1:21:52 Adam Flea bags? Yeah, I couldn't have been happier when my roommates weren't around. Really? Yeah. Mildly offensive because you were out doing drugs or turning tricks?

1:22:01 Caller No, no, I was a good person.

1:22:03 Adam Well, you mean you'd be out for a week and they couldn't handle that?

1:22:09 Caller Yeah, pretty much. I would be gone overnight a couple of days or whatever and...

1:22:16 Adam Hold on, I've got to talk to Drew about you. Let me make a couple of observations on Shannon. You stop me if you disagree with any of this stuff. She's 23 but she sounds like she's been a waitress at a bus stop for like 40 years. A truck stop, I should say.

1:22:31 Drew Yep, pretty much.

1:22:32 Adam Pretty much. She's a 23-year-old woman who seems... I don't want to call her angry, but she's seen a lot. Life's not been good. She's been out on her own. She's 23. Sounds like she's been out on her own for 20 years.

1:22:44 Drew She's living on the streets at time. Couchsurfing, she calls it. What does she choose for a career but incredibly co-dependent? A nanny and then working for the men who are retarded.

1:22:53 Adam Shannon?

1:22:54 Caller Yeah.

1:22:54 Adam Your dad an alcoholic, pretty much?

1:22:57 Caller My real dad is. My stepfather who's...

1:23:00 Drew Abusive?

1:23:01 Caller Yeah, he was abusive and he's also a drug addict.

1:23:04 Adam Right. Pretty much. And you got out of the house early?

1:23:07 Caller As soon as I graduated high school.

1:23:09 Drew Wait, you graduated early from high school?

1:23:11 Caller Pretty much.

1:23:11 Adam Yeah, pretty much.

1:23:13 Caller No, I didn't actually.

1:23:15 Adam And you've been sort of living, what do you call it, hand to mouth? Since, I mean, you're kind of scraper?

1:23:22 Caller Pretty much.

1:23:22 Adam Yeah. Let's say Anderson. Were you ever into anything? Addicted to anything?

1:23:32 Caller Well, weed, that's about it.

1:23:36 Adam All right. It seems like you've had a tough life.

1:23:39 Caller Pretty much, yeah.

1:23:39 Adam Pretty much? Yeah. All right. And were you ever molested?

1:23:44 Yes, I was.

1:23:45 Adam So the sexuality is spinning around a little bit?

1:23:48 Drew Pretty much.

1:23:49 Adam Yeah. Not quite sure if you're going to land on heads or tails sexually.

1:23:55 Drew I, in general, got a bad feeling about this. It sounds so transient for you to try to attach yourself to somebody 2,000 miles away. It's more of that couch surfing. It's more of that life by, you know, behind the wheel, kind of driving 30 hours to be with a girlfriend that you're not even sure if she's into you.

1:24:15 Adam Northern Nebraska has a pretty hot lesbian community over there, right?

1:24:19 Drew Yeah, but she's not even gay. She's both. She's just whatever. She's just having trouble with relationships.

1:24:24 Adam All right.

1:24:25 Drew And I mean, why don't you establish a life for yourself in the community where you're living and see if you can't scratch out something more stable. It's particular connections with people you want to be intimate with. It's going to be hard for her. Go to Al-Anon. Go to Al-Anon. Go to CODA. Go to some CODA Pensate Recovery. Get a sponsor. Work the steps.

1:24:43 Adam Drive 150 hours to the nearest Al-Anon in Maine. Lynn? Lynn? Yeah. Yeah. You OK, baby?

1:24:55 Caller Yeah.

1:24:55 Drew What's up?

1:24:57 Caller Yeah. I'm 15 and I'm four months pregnant and I'm trying to figure out different options that I could do.

1:25:05 Caller All right. Hold on.

1:25:06 Caller I'm finding out.

1:25:07 Caller All right.

1:25:08 Adam We got to pretty much take a break here, Lynn.

1:25:10 Caller OK.

1:25:10 Caller All right.

1:25:10 Adam But we'll get back with you and get to your problems and we'll fix you all up, OK?

1:25:15 Caller OK.

1:25:15 Adam All right. You just sit tight. We'll be back with the 15-year-old, four-month pregnant Lynn after this.

1:25:31 Caller Hi, I'm Jerry Springer, and you're listening to Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:25:37 Adam Yep, that's him. Heard his name come up a little earlier tonight. All right, let's keep piling through the calls here. Lynn?

1:25:47 Caller Yes?

1:25:48 Adam Fifteen, four months pregnant.

1:25:49 Caller Yeah.

1:25:50 Adam Do you have a boyfriend?

1:25:52 Caller No, he left me.

1:25:54 Adam I see. How old was he?

1:25:56 Caller He was 21.

1:25:59 Drew I might want to tell somebody about that. He has a little obligation to help you out here.

1:26:05 Caller I don't have anyone I can trust.

1:26:07 Adam What do you mean trust?

1:26:09 Caller I mean someone I can talk to.

1:26:11 Drew Where are your parents?

1:26:13 Caller My mom works full time and my dad dies.

1:26:15 Drew And when can you tell your mom about this?

1:26:19 Caller Me and her don't get along.

1:26:21 Adam How did your dad die?

1:26:24 Caller Using an accident.

1:26:27 Drew What kind of accident?

1:26:28 Caller Yeah.

1:26:28 Drew What kind of accident?

1:26:30 Caller A head-on collision.

1:26:31 Adam Oh, bad times. How long ago did that happen?

1:26:36 Caller I was about four.

1:26:38 Drew Oh boy. Yeah.

1:26:40 Adam Any step-dads?

1:26:41 Caller No.

1:26:42 Adam Mom never remarried, huh?

1:26:44 Drew No. What do you want to do with this pregnancy?

1:26:46 Caller I don't know. I was looking for different options that I could possibly do.

1:26:52 Adam Like abortion, adoption?

1:26:54 Caller I don't, I don't believe in abortion.

1:26:56 Adam Oh, okay. So you believe in adoption?

1:27:02 Caller Yeah.

1:27:03 Drew That's great. You're going to need your mom's support for that unless you plan to go away for six months.

1:27:09 Adam You're four months pregnant. She's not caught on to that at all?

1:27:14 Caller She's not home a lot and I'm kind of a heavier fit so she doesn't notice when I gain or lose weight anyway.

1:27:21 Adam I see.

1:27:22 Drew But you're going to need her support to carry out this adoption right? Don't you think?

1:27:27 Caller Yeah.

1:27:28 Adam Alright. How about you go down to Planned Parenthood and have a little discussion with the fine folks over there?

1:27:34 Caller Do you have a number?

1:27:36 Adam Yeah, hold on. Great. You got a pan?

1:27:37 Drew Who's going to give her the number? Terry, you want to put this up on the blue screen here? The phone number? We're going to give it to you in a moment.

1:27:44 Adam Lynn?

1:27:45 Drew We're going to put you on hold and give her that number, okay?

1:27:47 Adam All right.

1:27:47 Drew Wait a minute.

1:27:48 Adam Let me give you a little pep talk first.

1:27:50 Drew We're going to give you the local number though in Oregon, so go ahead.

1:27:53 Adam Well, why don't we just... they can just give it to her on hold or give it out over here?

1:27:57 Drew Well, I'd like to give it out over here. Okay.

1:27:59 Adam Hey, Lynn?

1:28:00 Caller Yeah?

1:28:01 Adam I'm coming with the pep talk. All right. This 21-year-old guy, he's in A hole, okay?

1:28:09 Caller Pretty much.

1:28:09 Adam And I know your dad passed away. And I know you're going to gravitate toward older guys. There's a little bit of a daddy syndrome in there. And you're going to find more of the same with these guys. Because a guy who's in his 20s who's going to have sex with a 14, 15-year-old... It's a criminal, mother of a bitch... .is a very bad guy. Okay. And therefore, do the math. You don't want to be with these guys. And I know your mom works too much and it's a pain in the ass and you feel awkward and all that kind of stuff. But you know, and your dad passed away, but you can have a good life. You really can't. Here's a phone number. You can get... Hold on. I'm not done with the goddamn pep talk here. You'll get past this little episode in your life. You'll do the right thing. You give the kid up for adoption. You'll do good in school. You'll focus. You'll hang out with your friends. You stay away from the booze and the drugs. You go far away to college. You have a good life.

1:29:08 Caller Okay.

1:29:08 Adam And you stay away from these guys. They're not your daddy.

1:29:13 Caller All right. Yeah. I don't drink or do drugs.

1:29:16 Adam Good. Cool. Good. Don't start up with that.

1:29:19 Caller Yeah. I can't do it. I tried it and I got really sick.

1:29:23 Drew Okay. Here we go. 5-4-1. Ready? 5-4-1. 3-4-4. 9-4-1-1. Can you hear that? Yeah.

1:29:35 Adam Are you writing with a piece of charcoal or a piece of bird bark?

1:29:37 Drew 5-4-1. 3-4-4. 9-4-1-1. That's the local plan parent. There we are. Okay?

1:29:42 Caller Okay.

1:29:42 Drew All right.

1:29:43 Caller All right.

1:29:43 Adam Thank you. All right. And speaking of pens, by the way, I know of you have to about this before. Anyone who's involved with the pen manufacturing industry can hear me out there. The choice between fine, ultrafine, superfine, and piano wire, I like the medium. I don't know why that option was taken away. I like a nice fat, sort of, I like to write. I like to be legible. I don't like to just make it scratch into the pad, and then you have to take some lead and rub it over it and brush like you're dusting for something. I like a meaty ballpoint. Oh, boy. FYI, you know, birthday's coming up in about 10 and a half months. Those of you who are thinking about getting me a present, a medium-sized pen.

1:30:33 Drew Ryan.

1:30:34 Caller Yeah, hi.

1:30:34 Drew Hey, what's up?

1:30:35 Caller I got a question. Tonight, I'm 19, and tonight I met some girl on the internet, and she told me she was, anyways, what she offered, and I went over there and I lost my virginity to her.

1:30:47 Adam Good times.

1:30:48 Caller Yeah, and she told me she was taking a depot shot, so that, and I didn't wear a condom then. But while we were doing it, you could hear like a squishy liquid, and I pulled out, and then she told me she was on her period, and she started bleeding all over me, and it was all over me, and it was dripping everywhere. But I was wondering, should I be worried about any diseases or anything from that?

1:31:12 Drew You said you didn't wear a condom?

1:31:13 Caller No, I didn't.

1:31:14 Drew Well, the same as you should be worried about for having a new contact without a condom, that's all. It's actually she's at a higher risk of ascending infections and things.

1:31:22 Adam Well, do what?

1:31:22 Drew Obviously, the blood exposure here is a little more substantial possibly for the HIV and hepatitis C, that kind of thing. But even that, not necessarily.

1:31:29 Adam Well, she's probably a virgin. You met her over the Internet. She had the depot shot and you went and nailed her that evening.

1:31:34 Drew Probably.

1:31:35 Adam I just want to say hi to Renee. Renee?

1:31:37 Caller Hi.

1:31:38 Adam You're 19.

1:31:39 Caller Yes.

1:31:40 Adam You're overweight.

1:31:41 Caller Yes.

1:31:42 Adam And you want to know if that would stop your period?

1:31:45 Caller What happened was I haven't had a period since February and I recently got one.

1:31:50 Drew Is it real heavy now?

1:31:51 Caller Yes.

1:31:52 Drew Yeah, it can be. The adipose tissue will produce estrogen and can kind of create what are called anobulatory cycles so you don't cycle normally and that happens.

1:32:01 Adam Listen, I'm no doctor, but here's what I think happens. You gain the weight. It goes right to your thighs. It pushes your vagina shut. It blocks up all the period that you would have had for months and then one day the damn breaks and that's why it comes out heavier.

1:32:14 Drew So it's purely a pressure phenomenon.

1:32:15 Adam Pressure. I should actually squeeze the vagina shut. All right, Renee, good times. We'll be back. All right.

1:32:34 Drew Well, there you go.

1:32:34 Adam Another fantastic episode of Love Line, all finished up. We got some folks from the movie Legally Blonde, the new movie which is coming out, I think this Friday.

1:32:45 Drew Then Brooke Burke and then Jimmy Kimmel.

1:32:47 Adam Oh, yeah. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. The world is your oyster. I mean, because that's all the world is.

1:32:59 This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on the show are not necessarily those of the staff, management sponsors for this station. This is producer from Loveline and welcome to Engel. Loveline is the presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, July 8, 2001