Episode 1000754886796

1:02 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:13 Voiceover Hey, everybody. It's the Love Line. I'm Adam Corolla. It's Dr. Drew over there. Dr. Drew is a board-certified internist and addiction medicine specialist. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Tonight, our guest is Joseph Foreman, also known as Afroman. He has a CD, which is going to be out on the 28th of August, called The Good Times. And he's also on the Silent Bob and Jay. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. That's right. On the soundtrack, right? Lean up and get into that mic, would you there, Afroman? And what, should we call you Afroman?

1:48 Afroman Whatever you're comfortable with.

1:50 Adam You know what's funny? We have people on the show all the time that have more than one name. And I get mad when they insist that you call them by something. Right. But then when they leave it open, I think it's even worse. Like, I'd rather you get mad and insist that I call you something.

2:08 Afroman I insist you call me Afro.

2:09 Adam All right, Afroman. And how long? I could have one of those Afros, too, man. You can, man. I really could. Drew, I just got my hair cut today, but look at this. I mean, I got the nappy head of a brother. I could pull this off. When, how long you been Afroman?

2:26 Afroman I think since, what, 95.

2:29 Adam And did someone give you that name or did you give it yourself?

2:32 Afroman No, I got it from this chick. She was perfect. You know, she came to college and she was like trying to hand something up to some other chick that was perfect also. You know, she go, Hey, you, hand this to her, you, whatever your name is Afroman. Ha ha ha.

2:47 Adam Oh, really? Jesus, that's kind of racist. Is she allowed to do that?

2:52 Afroman Yeah, she had a license. She was black.

2:54 Adam Oh, she's black? Oh, well, she's black. She can call you anything she wants.

2:57 Afroman Yeah, you know, there were no rules, really.

3:00 Adam Yeah, well, you've come a long way from junior college. And how did you get on the soundtrack? How did that work out?

3:11 Afroman I really believe a little kid put it on Napster, and Kevin Smith must have got a hold to it and liked it.

3:20 Adam Because I got high, you mean? Yeah. Which is on the soundtrack?

3:25 Drew Should we play the song and make sure we know who we're talking to here?

3:27 Adam Okay. Yeah. All right. Why don't we do that? You got that queued up there? This is Afroman because I got high. Roll another. Oh, there's my microphone. It's a classic, an instant classic. Now, was that the version that was on Napster? Or was it like a less produced version? Did you go back and redo it?

6:59 Afroman No, it was a longer version. It's a longer version. This is a...

7:04 Drew Radio remix.

7:05 Afroman Yes, because you know radio, you like to have you like in three or four minutes.

7:09 Adam But the initial recording, did you do that professionally or did you do that yourself? And I don't mean that the way it sounded.

7:16 Drew Did the quality of what went out on Napster sound different than we just heard?

7:20 Afroman No.

7:21 Adam No, it's just as good. And how many guys are singing on that? Is that all you?

7:25 Afroman Yes, all me on different tracks.

7:27 Adam Because it's weird, because it's like it sounds like your voice, but because you're singing at the same time, my mind will not let it be one person. Even though I'm well aware of tracks and how you can overdub things, it still sounds like a bunch of guys standing around, doesn't it?

7:43 Drew Yeah, but that's where he's taking it. Right.

7:45 Adam All right. So where did you record that?

7:48 Afroman I recorded it in my room in Mississippi.

7:51 Adam Really? And it sounds that good?

7:52 Afroman Yeah, Digital 8 Track.

7:54 Adam Wow. I'll tell you. And who put it out on Napster? Did you do that?

7:59 Afroman No. Actually, this kid, I remember he told me one night, it was packed and it was late at night. But he told me, he said, man, I just put you up on Napster and everybody is downloading you everywhere. He just told me that. He was like, you understand later, man.

8:18 Adam Well, did you have a record contract before that?

8:21 Afroman No. I was dealing with my man, Tim Ray Mnowski, he had a record label, T-Bone. It was an independent label. I just started distributing my records through him.

8:33 Adam Right.

8:34 Afroman And on the independent tip, started selling like a whole lot.

8:37 Adam So what year, how many months ago did this go on NAMSTER?

8:43 Afroman I really don't remember, but it was recently.

8:45 Adam Because you got high? Is that why I don't remember?

8:47 Afroman You know, I'm glad you understand.

8:49 Drew I'm not sure those tales of woe took the water out of Afroman's bong.

8:54 Adam No. No, he's getting rich because he got high. That's how the song should have ended. Jamie, you're 18. What's up?

9:05 Caller Well, I get turned on by almost anything. I don't know what it is. I know I'm a lesbian and everything, but very people, gay people, any kind of sex thing turns me on.

9:19 Drew Well, people that sexualize all their feelings usually were sexually abused when they were a child. So do you have that history?

9:26 Caller Yeah, I do, yeah.

9:27 Drew And that's what happens. I have a long history of that. So because of that hyper arousal from that experience, the only way you have really your brain learn to manage any feeling was to sexualize it. And this really requires treatment, Jamie. This is, you're a prime candidate for treatment because you're going to get yourself in a lot of trouble with this and you're going to not be happy with the behaviors. They're going to end up being destructive and compulsive and inability to be controlled. But I imagine you have no feelings other than sexual feelings, right? Everything goes sexual.

9:56 Caller Yeah, most everything, yeah.

9:57 Drew Yeah. Wow.

9:58 Adam Where were you when I was in high school?

10:00 Drew And that's typical of sexual compulsive or sex addicts. I suspect you're an addict too, right?

10:05 Caller Well, no, I just masturbate all the time.

10:08 Drew No, but I mean, do you have sort of an alcoholic prone? Are you an addict?

10:12 Caller No, not really.

10:12 Adam How many times a day do you masturbate?

10:15 Caller Oh, gosh, probably about three or four. No.

10:18 Adam Geez, I'm going for that.

10:19 Drew Adam's under breath, yeah.

10:21 Adam That's nothing, and I got to get something out of me, too. Women, by the way, when it comes to women masturbating, women, it's like a solar energy. It's an unlimited resource, whereas men, it's like fossil fuel. There's only so much we can pull out of the ground.

10:39 Drew That's right.

10:39 Adam Eventually, it dries up. That's right. Nothing more, and it's a lot of work to get it out of the ground. Whereas with the solar energy, it's just you just look up and there you go. That's really what it's like with women who can have multiple orgasms. I thought she was going to say like 17, 18. I didn't know.

10:55 Drew But she needs to think of treatment.

10:56 Adam That's weak.

10:57 Drew You really do.

10:58 Adam All right, Jamie, look at it this way. Who did all the molesting on you?

11:03 Caller Well, at first, I started out with my dad, and he just, like, when I was like four or five, and then it kind of moved on to my brother's friend.

11:10 Drew Oh, boy.

11:10 Adam Right.

11:11 Caller My oldest brother was six years older than I was.

11:13 Adam Oh, boy.

11:14 Caller And then my other brother was three years older than I was, and I was about 12.

11:17 Adam Where are those two idiots today?

11:20 Caller Well, my brother, the one that did that when I was 12, he's in college right now, going to be a senior. He's still living at home, but he goes to college. And then the other guy, I don't know, he got picked up for child molestation.

11:33 Adam Well, that's good. And your dad, where is he?

11:35 Caller He's still living at home. I haven't told anybody.

11:38 Drew You might want to report that before he does something to somebody else.

11:41 Adam Well, your dad doing it to his own daughter, right?

11:45 Drew Yeah.

11:46 Caller Yeah.

11:47 Adam There could be no more f'd up act in the world to me. There could be no more. I mean, you can talk about school shootings and bombing of federal buildings, serial killing. Drew.

12:00 Drew Even that makes sense to you compared to this.

12:01 Adam Yeah, it makes sense. You have a daughter. You'd go out and kill somebody before you'd feel up your daughter, wouldn't you?

12:06 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

12:07 Adam Easily.

12:08 Drew Easily.

12:09 Adam I mean, it wouldn't be a great day, but easily, right?

12:13 Drew And the person that would do that.

12:15 Adam To your daughter.

12:15 Drew I'd track to my death.

12:17 Adam Yeah, you would, wouldn't you?

12:18 Drew Oh, yeah.

12:19 Adam Yeah.

12:20 Drew Oh, it'd be him or me.

12:22 Adam It would.

12:22 Drew Yeah.

12:23 All right.

12:25 Drew You want to tell me something?

12:26 Adam No, listen, I'm waiting on your daughter. I'm giving her seventh, eighth grade before I swoop in. I raise her like my own. Ashley?

12:36 Hi.

12:36 Adam Hey, you're 15.

12:37 Caller Yeah.

12:38 Adam What's up?

12:40 Caller I'm just going to give you background because I know you guys always ask for that. About a year ago, I had a boyfriend and I was really into him and I thought I loved him and everything. But like every time I was with him, we'd end up having sex sometimes two or three times that day. And he broke up with me for no good reason and it made me really, really upset. So by the time I was ready to start dating again, I realized that guys wouldn't like me for me or something because a lot of guys just really wanted sex with me, so I'd sleep with them. But in about the last month or so, I've only had sex with three guys, but now I found out that I'm pregnant and I don't know whose it is.

13:36 Adam All right. Well, a little bit confusing and long-winded, but one of the three guys, right?

13:40 Caller Yeah, because I took a break for a while. I just, I mean, because for one thing, summer started and a lot of people went away for vacations and stuff.

13:49 Adam Right. She took Tuesday and Wednesday off.

13:52 Drew Yeah.

13:52 Adam She was right back on.

13:54 Drew All the men in Chicago weren't back in town yet.

13:55 Adam Right. San Francisco.

13:57 Drew San Francisco.

13:58 Adam Hey, Ashley, what's up with all the acting out?

14:01 Drew At 15.

14:03 Caller I don't know. I mean, I guess it's just an attention thing because I mean, my mom isn't around a lot and I have a brother, but he's not around either.

14:10 Drew Where's your dad?

14:11 Caller Huh?

14:12 Drew Where's your dad?

14:12 Caller My dad, my parents got divorced when I was about three and then he moved when I was five.

14:18 Drew You haven't seen him?

14:19 Caller Hmm?

14:20 Drew You haven't seen him since then?

14:21 Caller No, I haven't.

14:22 Adam Yeah.

14:23 Drew A gentleman, a colossal.

14:25 Adam Yeah.

14:25 Drew Wonderful guy.

14:26 Afroman Yeah.

14:26 Adam Hey, listen, guys, you know, I say this once every week and a half, but I think a father, Drew, is a father. Afroman, are you a father?

14:36 Afroman Yes, I am.

14:37 Adam Do you have a daughter?

14:38 Afroman Yes, I do.

14:39 Adam Now, good. As fathers, I think your ultimate nightmare or fear or whatever you want to call it growing up is seeing your young daughter underneath some sweaty guy getting sexed up. I don't know why we think that way. Lord knows we did enough of it ourselves. Maybe it's a form of compensation for all the discussing things we did and the horrible acts that we perpetrated on young women. But that's always the greatest nightmare as a father. And we all know it's going to happen. But we just hope it's the right guy and that no one gets their heart broken or their hymen broken or pregnant or anything like that. But if you're dad and you leave your daughter, believe me, this is going to happen.

15:19 Drew Oh, yeah.

15:19 Adam And it's going to happen early and it's going to happen often.

15:22 Drew And this is more than usual. This is.

15:25 Adam Yeah, not that much more, though. Ashley.

15:28 Caller Yeah.

15:28 Adam All right. So what do you want to do with the kid?

15:32 Caller Well, I already know that I'm pretty sure I can't read it by myself. But I was thinking of either an abortion or just putting it up for adoption. But I mean, I really want to ask whosoever it is first. I mean, because maybe he wants to keep it. I mean, I know I don't want to read it.

15:50 Drew Do you really want a baby being raised by one of these A-holes? No.

15:54 Adam Well, you don't know they're A-holes.

15:55 Drew Yes, I do.

15:56 Adam How old are they?

15:57 Drew One of three guys, and they're only a 15-year-old.

15:59 Adam Well, maybe they're all 15.

16:00 Drew I don't care.

16:01 Adam Well, how do they not know about the other guys? How dare you? How old are these guys?

16:06 Caller One was 15, another was 17, another was 17.

16:12 Adam Two 17s and a 15. And do they know about each other?

16:18 Caller I think two of them are kind of friends. I think the two 17-year-olds are friends.

16:23 Adam Okay. And you're not using any protection?

16:26 Caller No, I did.

16:27 Adam You did? Oh, okay.

16:28 Drew What did you use?

16:29 Caller We used condoms, but I think one of them, I mean, because we have a condom thing at school, and they show us, like, how to use it, right, and protect it and everything. And I asked him, because I know this guy doesn't usually have sex a lot, but I always liked him. I asked him if, like, his is okay, because I knew he had a condom in his wallet, but he said it was fine. It might have been a little old. I don't know. I mean, I don't think a guy would want to tell me if the condom broke to worry me.

16:59 Adam So you think it broke? Oh boy, there's a long-winded story for nothing.

17:03 Drew How do you know you're pregnant?

17:05 Caller Well, I was feeling really, really sick today, so I decided to take a pregnancy test, and I also hadn't got my period. I usually get it, like, on Sunday.

17:16 Adam On Sunday. All right. So are you pregnant?

17:19 Caller Yeah.

17:19 Adam Okay. Boy, I tell you. You are, Ashley.

17:25 Drew Yeah.

17:26 Adam I don't know. Should she go talk to these three guys? I don't know.

17:30 Drew Why don't...

17:31 Adam Can you just go down to Planned Parenthood and talk to somebody that...

17:34 Drew You need to take care of yourself right now. Okay.

17:36 Adam Okay.

17:37 Drew You need a lot of support.

17:38 Adam And stop acting out, please.

17:40 Drew Please. Where's your mom? Why is she out?

17:42 Caller My mom, she's always working.

17:44 Drew Why?

17:45 Caller Because she... At her job, she doesn't get, like, regular days off. Like, she doesn't always have weekends off.

17:52 Adam What, is she a nurse?

17:53 Caller No, she works in a store. So she has weird hours. Like, right now, she's working until midnight.

17:58 Adam All right, what kind of store?

18:00 Caller She works at a Home Depot.

18:02 Adam Oh, really?

18:03 Caller Yeah.

18:03 Adam Bad times. She's one of those people that work at the Home Depot and know nothing about anything.

18:08 Caller No, she does. She does.

18:09 Adam Really? What's her department?

18:12 Caller Electrical.

18:13 Adam Oh, I like the talk there. Give her a little quiz. Ask her the difference between a wire nut and an LB. I bet you wouldn't tell me. You know what I get into whenever I go to... I was at Home Depot yesterday, by the way. I live at the Home Depot. I stole something from the Home Depot in Hollywood two days ago because I couldn't handle waiting in line. It's just a screw. I was walking in. You know, it's interesting the way your mind works. I thought, I need one screw, one screw, and the Hollywood Home Depot is the busiest Home Depot in the United States, and you have to wait behind a line that looks like the line that I imagined was going into Ellis Island, like the turn of the century. Some just bizarre nationality guys with some scary smell coming off of them. Scary. Guys who work with their hands, like Lebanese guys who lay tile all day and wear polyester shirts and shoes with tassels on them. There's some funk coming off those guys. You get to the back of the line, there's 14 guys ahead of you. It's a 69 cent item. I said, I'm copping this thing. I was walking in, I was thinking about it, and I thought, jeez, I don't feel good stealing. You know, I make enough money. And then I thought, I've dropped 35 grand in this place in the last three years. I'm stealing. So I stole the screw. But the conversations I have at Home Depot always go like this. I'm looking for angle stops. We don't carry those. Yeah, you carry them. Where are they? Well, I don't know where they are. No, no, no, listen. It's an angle stops in the plumbing department. I know you carry them. Tell me where the plumbing department is. I don't think we have a plumbing. Yes, you do. Okay, I'll find it. That's how it usually goes over there.

19:55 Afroman Yeah.

19:55 Adam Well, what do you want? You pay a guy $6.50 an hour.

19:57 Afroman Yeah, that's what you're going to get.

19:59 Adam You're not going to get Pops Larson there doing it for you. Afroman, you ever go to the Home Depot?

20:04 Afroman No, but I've been to several places like what you're saying and get the same flat.

20:09 Adam Yeah, that's right. You want to go pay more and have someone knows what they're doing? Then go do it.

20:14 Afroman Pay, spend the money.

20:15 Adam That's right. Ashley, you won't have to steal. You turned a life of crime like me. Ashley, you're 14.

20:22 Caller Yeah.

20:23 Adam What's up?

20:23 Caller Well, my dad, he does weed and I brought it up to my mom, and she talked to him about it maybe a couple of months ago. Lately, I've been noticing that he's been doing it again. I don't know what to do. My parents are divorced and I really don't want to go out and live with my mom because she drinks and I really don't want to be in that environment. But also, my dad, I don't know, he has mood swings and he'll go next door, he'll go in our basement and do it. I've had people tell me that they saw him and stuff.

20:56 Adam They saw him smoking weed?

20:58 Caller Yeah.

20:59 Adam What does he do for a living?

21:01 Caller He works for the city water department.

21:06 Adam Does he do all right? Does he hold his job down?

21:09 Caller Yeah, but I was talking to my mom and she said that if he ever got a drug test and he failed, that he would lose his job.

21:16 Adam All right. Afroman, what do you think? He smokes a lot of weed. Should she confront him?

21:20 Afroman Well, I should... I'd want to first, if he was maintaining everything he was supposed to maintain, and if he was, then I know that what he is doing is not distracting him. But if it's distracting him, then it's a problem. He needs to be confronted. But if it's not, you know, she don't know what her dad is doing. I don't know, maybe, I don't know, whatever, I don't know what her dad is going through.

21:45 Adam Well, Ashley, I think what Afroman is saying, and it's kind of what I was getting to, which is if the guy goes to work, does his job, gets his paycheck, doesn't blow it all on drugs and gambling, and then goes home and basically smokes a joint in the basement, the same way a lot of guys would crack a couple of beers when they got home, then that's kind of none of your business and it's cool.

22:05 Drew Well, here's the problem.

22:06 Caller But that's not what he does.

22:07 Adam All right. Well, then that's different. What's he do?

22:10 Caller He goes down to the bar and he'll gamble with it and play cards and stuff, and then he'll like-

22:14 Adam Well, he does gamble with the money.

22:16 Drew This is the bigger problem, is that an intoxicated-

22:18 Adam He's got a problem.

22:19 Drew But an intoxicated parent is an abandoning parent. Children, when they feel abandoned, they feel helpless. When they feel helpless, they feel out of control and defensive and they can't regulate their emotional lives.

22:28 Adam She's 14. I wish my dad would have got stoned and gone out on the lawn when I was 14.

22:34 Drew That's because you had someone on the other end of the spectrum, you know what I'm saying? If you'd had this, you would have wished for the other. You would have wished for the dad you did have with the elbow patches.

22:43 Adam What are you talking about? I didn't talk to my dad from 13 on.

22:45 Drew The point is, it's only because you had what you have that you wish you had somebody who smoked a little pot, but if you'd had that, you'd wish for something different too.

22:52 Adam My dad was this guy without the pot.

22:54 Drew All right. But the point is, look at you.

22:56 Adam How dare you attack me for an Afro man. Twelve years of therapy? Twelve years of therapy, but to be fair to me, I don't do anything when I go to therapy.

23:04 Drew I just say I can go to therapy. Here, here. I second that.

23:08 Adam That's right. I'm going tomorrow to talk about nothing.

23:10 Drew What the hell is wrong with your therapist? I'm going to kick his ass.

23:12 Caller Guys, I have another question too.

23:15 Adam Oh, yeah.

23:16 Caller Yeah. We were like sitting down, me and some of my friends.

23:22 Drew It's the same caller?

23:23 Adam I don't know. Who is this? Ashley?

23:26 Caller Yeah.

23:28 Adam What the hell is that? Hello. All right. Hold on a second. I don't know what to think anymore. Let's just address Ashley's first question if in fact, if it's bogus or not, I don't care.

23:41 Drew He's maintaining.

23:42 Adam Hypothetically.

23:43 Drew He's maintaining. I agree. That's fine. But she needs to go to Alateen and get her emotional needs met.

23:47 Adam He ain't maintaining. He's going down and gambling. But that's probably BS.

23:50 Drew I don't know.

23:51 Adam Do you think that's BS? Probably. He goes to the bar and plays cards.

23:54 Drew Yeah. It sounds like a-

23:55 Adam Yeah. It sounds like, you know, a Andy Capp cartoon.

23:58 Drew There's a 1640 in Amsterdam or something.

24:00 Adam And by the way, how the hell do you know what your dad is doing down at the bar? Do you think he comes home and announces, I just blew the paycheck playing pinochle? He doesn't say that. He wouldn't know what was going on down at the bar. You ain't going to the bar.

24:15 Drew He doesn't make Alateen, right?

24:16 Adam All right. Alateen, everybody. Everyone go to Alateen. Afroman, go to Alateen.

24:21 Drew All right, man. He's on his way. But then he got high.

24:25 Adam That's right. Afroman is here. Kevin Smith is going to be in here tomorrow from Jane, Simon, Bob, Strike Back, where you can find Afroman's new song, which will be out on his CD on the 28th. Like I said, also on that soundtrack, we'll be right back after this.

24:44 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

25:13 Adam Hey, everybody. It's the Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Kevin Smith, who's directed, wrote, I think, and stars in Jane Simon Bobstrike Back in Tomorrow Night. We'll ask him why he cut me out of the movie. I think I'm cut out of the movie. I'll just assume I am until we talk to Kevin. Afroman is here tonight. He has a song on the soundtrack. I'm not sure when the soundtrack is out, but Afroman CD, The Good Times, is going to be out on the 28th, August 28th. When is that soundtrack out? Is it out yet?

25:52 Afroman It's out now. Yeah.

25:53 Adam Oh, it is out?

25:54 Afroman Yeah.

25:55 Adam Yeah. I guess they come out. Didn't they used to release soundtracks after the movie came out? Oh, now it's like before, right?

26:03 Afroman Yeah.

26:04 Adam Because before the soundtrack, you had to have the movie. People had to see the movie and then go, oh yeah, I like those songs and then go buy the music.

26:11 Drew I heard Kevin Smith's already preparing the director's cut of the CD.

26:15 Adam No, you didn't.

26:16 Drew You're in that.

26:17 Adam Oh, shut up. All right. We'll get to the bottom of that tomorrow night with Kevin. Cody? Hello. You're 17.

26:24 Caller Yes, I am.

26:24 Adam What's up?

26:26 Caller Yeah, well, I have like three nipples and I was wondering why. If you guys knew like what's up with that.

26:32 Drew It's called a supranumery nipple and it's because we all have a nipple line when we're developing in the uterus. Just like a dog or cat and boys and girls, males and females get the same line. And they just resorb for the most part during development and some people have little remnants left behind. They look like a little mole, right?

26:51 Caller Well, it kind of, but it actually have like a nips out.

26:56 Drew Nips out, yeah. You get to take it off if you want, but it's just it's one of those things that sits there.

27:00 Adam All mammals have nipples.

27:01 Drew Yes, all mammals.

27:03 Adam Dolphins have nipples.

27:05 Drew Yep.

27:05 Adam They do?

27:06 Drew Yep.

27:06 Adam You never see dolphin nipples, do you?

27:09 Drew Well, we just don't refer to it very often.

27:11 Adam Well, like if you were going to draw a dolphin, you wouldn't know, here's where the nipples go.

27:15 Drew We left the nipples out.

27:16 Adam Oh, hey, Bob, you didn't put the nipples in Flipper. You never see any dolphin nipples.

27:21 Drew Oh, whale nipples.

27:23 Adam Well, whale nipples just means big nipples, right? That doesn't mean the whales has nipples. I dated a chick with whale nipples.

27:30 Drew It's a term of endearment, right?

27:31 Adam Well, yeah, you don't see whale nipples. Whales have nipples too. They just come out when it comes time for feeding on the females. Do they all have a line? Are we the only mammal that doesn't have a line of nipples?

27:44 Drew We have a line. They just resorb during development. And then here Cody's got some remnant.

27:48 Adam Yeah, but we don't have one.

27:50 Drew We don't have a line.

27:51 Adam Yes.

27:52 Drew Do they all have lines? I don't know. I doubt that's true.

27:55 Adam What mammal that has nipples just has two?

27:58 Drew I mean, all the primates.

27:59 Adam I mean, like the monkeys and stuff. Yeah, they just got one. They don't have a-

28:03 Drew Two.

28:04 Adam I mean, two. They don't have that line.

28:05 Drew They don't have anything going on.

28:06 Adam Not when they're developing.

28:08 Caller Hey, could I throw up one more quick question for Drew?

28:11 Adam Hey, Cody, ever see dolphin nipples?

28:13 Caller I have never seen dolphin nipples, but now that you mention it, I'm going to look for some.

28:17 Adam Start looking.

28:17 Drew He's going to draw them all as dolphin drawings from now on. Yeah, Cody, what's up?

28:21 Caller Yeah, well, I also kind of got the same deal going down in my throat area. They're like, I have like normal two testicles, you know, and then there's like something else in there. It's not like-

28:32 Drew Well, that's something else has nothing to do with the extra nipple.

28:35 Adam Fourth nipple.

28:36 Drew That's something else needs to be checked out. There can be a hernia, it can be a varicoseal, it can be veins.

28:40 Caller It's like always been there, though, so I just always-

28:42 Drew Well, you know, it's something, one of these days you ought to have checked out. It's not changing, that's fine. But it's not an extra anything, I bet. It's a separate structure.

28:53 Caller What's that?

28:54 Adam Yeah, you ought to call Ralph Nader and talk to him about the lemon law. You may just got a bad body. Extra nipples, extra lump in the sack. It may just be a recall. Check the internet. Alright, buddy. Alright, good times. Good times.

29:11 Drew Alright, Cody.

29:12 Adam Alright. Steve, you're 18.

29:15 Drew Yeah. What's up?

29:16 Caller I have a couple of questions. First of all, it's kind of hard to explain, but I can't stand my body hair. It's really weird. I'd shave it, I'd pick it off, whatever, just because I can't stand it myself. I can't stand like...

29:30 Drew Do you pick at other parts of your body hair, like hair on your scalp or hair on your eyelashes?

29:37 Caller I do. Eyebrows, not like once on my head.

29:40 Drew Yeah, so you have just Pickers thing, you have trichotillomania, which is...

29:43 Caller It's really like I do it like when I'm sitting in classes.

29:46 Drew Right. So you need to get that treated.

29:48 Caller How do you...

29:49 Drew What do I do? There are serotonin reuptake inhibiting medication that substantially change that behavior. There are some behavioral inventions too, but this is the...

29:56 Adam Like Prozac?

29:58 Drew Prozac really changes this. It makes it go away. And you've got to take care of that. You'll start really yanking on parts of your hair.

30:04 Caller Yeah, it's like driving crazy. I can't like do anything.

30:06 Adam Steve, it's not that you hate body hair. It's that you're a picker.

30:10 Caller I can't stand people.

30:12 Adam I mean, that's your motivation, but basically you're a picker.

30:15 Drew A puller.

30:15 Adam A puller.

30:16 Caller I look at my arm and I can't...

30:17 Adam You do more picking than Roy Clark.

30:19 Drew Are you taking any...

30:19 Adam I mean, pulling...

30:20 Drew Do you do speed or cocaine?

30:23 Caller I've never done any drugs.

30:24 Drew No drugs. All right. And this is a sign of other obsessive compulsive kinds of disorder.

30:29 Caller Yeah, I think it might be...

30:30 Drew Yeah, and that needs to be dealt with. It's the point you pull your hair out.

30:33 Caller Go to the doctor and try and...

30:35 Drew Go to somebody who knows what they're doing. See a psychiatrist.

30:37 Adam Steve, don't do any coke or speed. You're going to be picking at your liver.

30:41 Caller Yeah, I probably would.

30:42 Adam All right.

30:43 Caller And my other question, like, I can only masturbate laying down. I can't do it sitting... Yeah.

30:49 Drew That's another Corolla syndrome.

30:50 Adam Yeah, I used to be that way, too.

30:52 Drew You used to be.

30:53 Adam No, I'm versatile now.

30:54 Drew Oh, you're trained.

30:55 Adam Well, we started doing so much flying. What are you going to do? Sure, the seat reclines, but, I mean, come on. Hey, Steve.

31:04 Afroman Yeah.

31:05 Adam That's something you do, Afroman. Maybe you jump in.

31:09 Afroman Yeah, well, see, well, we'll see. You used to laying down and masturbating. And well, when you stand up, you got to use more brain power. You know what I'm saying? You got to focus in on what's going on. Right. You know what I'm saying? Concentrate. Don't daydream about the electric bill and the dumb dog running across the line. Make sure you look in or focus in on whatever you're focusing on and you will receive energy. But you got to have faith, man.

31:37 Adam Well, here's the thing. When you're lying on your back, it's pretty much just arm and penis. And when you're up on your feet, you're using some calf muscles and knees and quads.

31:46 Afroman You're working, man.

31:47 Adam Yeah, you're working because if you drift off, you'll die because you whack your head on a soap dish and that's where they'll find you. That's my biggest fear. They'll find me dead in the shower, beaten off.

31:59 Caller I do it like facing the ground, you know? Facing the ground? Sometimes I don't even use my hands.

32:04 Adam What?

32:06 Afroman What are you doing?

32:08 Adam Facing the ground.

32:09 Caller Humping the ground, I guess.

32:11 Adam You hump your bed?

32:12 Drew Sometimes.

32:13 Adam Do you hump the floor?

32:15 Caller Yeah.

32:16 Drew He may have a weird thing about touching himself.

32:19 Adam Why not just flip over and grab yourself like a human being?

32:22 Caller I do. I mean, I can't like ejaculate like sitting in a chair or something. I can't.

32:29 Adam What about standing up?

32:31 Caller No, same thing.

32:32 Adam Start trying in the shower. You know why? I'll tell you why. You'll limit yourself when you start having sex.

32:39 Caller Yeah, I know.

32:40 Adam Because you'll get in a doggy position, you'll be lost. You understand?

32:44 Caller Yeah.

32:44 Adam You won't know what to do. You'll be standing there and your penis will be confused.

32:47 Caller So just keep trying or something?

32:49 Adam Yeah, keep trying.

32:50 Caller What do you call the thing with the hair? What's the name for that?

32:53 Drew Tricotillomania.

32:54 Caller Tricotillomania?

32:56 Drew Tricotillomania.

32:58 Adam All right.

32:58 Caller All right, thanks.

32:59 Adam All right. And put those little daisy-shaped non-slip skids down on the tub.

33:06 Drew You're so worried about someone finding you with the penis in hand.

33:09 Adam Well, think about...

33:10 Drew Rigamortis.

33:11 Adam Well, think about how just before your orgasm, your mind goes to another place, everything gets tuned out, you don't focus on your environment that much, and think about how your legs stiffen up and you go up on the balls of your feet and stuff. And if you're in a slippery tub when you're doing this, you close your eyes, you could easily go down and whack your head on the faucet or something.

33:33 Drew I understand it's a possibility, but your anxiety about being caught in that position is extraordinary.

33:39 Adam Thank you. Cheyenne? Yeah. What's up?

33:43 I have a question. My mother-in-law, okay, she's a lesbian. She, I guess supposedly there's some family rumor that, you know, she molested her niece at some point. She was molested when she was younger, you know, and everything. Now I'm getting divorced from my husband, and I'm just concerned that my kids will be around her, you know, when I'm not there. And it just makes me a little nervous because she's made some, you know, pretty weird comments to me.

34:09 Drew Why aren't you a lot nervous?

34:10 Huh?

34:10 Drew Why aren't you a lot nervous?

34:12 Well, I'm very nervous, but I'm also wondering, you know, because I don't have any proof, you know? I can't really stand up in court or anything.

34:18 Drew Well, why do you allow her to be alone with your kids?

34:21 Oh, I don't.

34:21 Drew Okay.

34:22 I don't. I'm concerned.

34:23 Adam Wait a minute. They're going to get divorced. There's going to be some visitation going on, and she may not have a choice, goofball. What about you? I would think. Hold on. What do you mean a rumor going around the family?

34:35 Well, you know, my husband or my ex-husband has just said that she was molested, and then I guess the niece just said to somebody, oh, you know, my aunt molested me. But I guess nobody believed her very much, but it's just enough to make me nervous.

34:50 Drew It fits. And what was the weird comments you made to you about your kids?

34:52 Well, I have a four-month-old daughter. When she was two days old, my mother-in-law came to the house, and the baby still had her umbilical cord thing. You know, she was saying something about her wearing a bikini when she was older, and I'm like, oh, I don't know, maybe if she gets an any-belly button. And she goes, well, I hope she'll have an any-belly button, because that'd be way more sexy. And then she tells me later, another time, she says, oh, Cheyenne, I think you don't like me. And I said, what are you talking about? And she said, oh, because I'm a lesbian, I think that you think that I'm going to try something with you. And she just seems very sexually oriented. A lot of things that she says are a little off. You know?

35:28 Adam Yeah.

35:28 There's no solid proof.

35:29 Adam No, but she gives you the creeps. A little inappropriate. Yeah.

35:34 And I don't want my kids alone with her.

35:35 Adam Right.

35:36 There's no-

35:37 Adam Do you have a good enough relationship with your soon to be ex-husband to talk to him about it?

35:41 At this point, but we haven't gone through the whole divorce.

35:44 Drew This is his mom, too. What are you going to say?

35:46 Adam Look, hold on. If my wife wanted to say something bad about my mom, I'd jump right on the bandwagon. Honey, you couldn't be more right. I think you're right. We should not talk to her anymore. I would not defend her for a second.

35:57 Drew How about getting a good attorney that makes sure the visitation is supervised or something?

36:01 Adam Well, but hold on. How can you make sure something is supervised when there's no proof of anything? A couple of conversations about belly buttons. You can't win that in court, Drew.

36:14 Drew Yeah, exactly.

36:15 Adam Thank you. I don't know who the smart one here is.

36:18 Drew You know, I...

36:21 Adam No, you can't win that.

36:22 Drew It's not a matter of what's the winning. You're just suggesting you want your kid supervised.

36:28 Adam Well, here's the deal. First off, a lot of people don't have the resources to hire attorneys and win stuff like this. And number two, there's no reason why these kids should be supervised in the eyes of the law. So it's not when you're going to win.

36:41 Drew You don't know that, but that's all right.

36:42 Adam Well, maybe if you got some investigator do some snooping and uncover something that we don't know about, possibly. But I think you need to appeal to your husband. And you need to say to the guy, look, we're getting divorced and that's tough enough for the kids. But let's not screw them up more by having it get ugly.

37:01 Drew Why are you breaking up with him?

37:02 He's verbally abusive.

37:04 Drew He can't do the job.

37:05 He's immature.

37:06 Adam All right.

37:07 I could go on for hours if you want me to.

37:09 Adam Listen. You need to take those kids, you put them on a pack mule with enough water to get them through about two weeks and just send them for the border.

37:16 Drew With all that abuse and all going on and suspicion, you know he's verbally abusive, you're suspicious, that is enough to require supervised, I would think, really structured visitation. And I think you ought to push for that very hard.

37:29 Adam All right. All right. It's going to, you know.

37:32 I mean there's pretty much a strong possibility that she could be something that has a history.

37:37 Drew I'm worried about your husband too. He's been verbally abusive in front of the kids. That's not a word for you. Yeah.

37:41 That's part of the reason.

37:42 Adam Hey, Cheyenne.

37:43 Until he started doing it in front of the kids. That's when I got...

37:45 Adam Right. Okay. A, glad. I don't know. What did you do? Get sober or something? Me? Yeah.

37:51 No. I just finally got sick of it after three years.

37:54 Adam But what happened? What happened with the turnaround? I mean, why did you have... start a family with this jackass and then all of a sudden you're missed together?

38:02 Well, because, you know, before, I just, you know, was just hanging out with people who partied a lot. I was getting drunk. It was so fun.

38:08 Drew Right. So you...

38:09 And, you know, then I... you know, he's my boyfriend and then I get pregnant and then we get married and then we have another baby and then I started realizing, you know, this isn't working for me. This isn't what I had planned for my future.

38:21 Adam Okay.

38:21 And, you know, it just doesn't go.

38:22 Adam So what's the deal? Was your dad was only a little bit of an alcoholic or something? My dad? Yeah.

38:28 No, he wasn't alcoholic. He was verbally abusive also.

38:31 Adam Right. Right.

38:32 Right. We got along together here, I know.

38:34 Adam Right. It's very easy to put together. It's really... it's like a puzzle. You know the puzzle they give to the retarded kids to make them feel good about themselves, like three pieces?

38:43 Caller Yeah.

38:43 Drew That's the human.

38:44 Adam That's really human.

38:45 Caller Okay.

38:46 Adam All right. But we're glad you made your transformation. It's too bad you got all the kids now. Yeah.

38:50 Oh, I love them, though.

38:51 Adam I know you do.

38:52 I have one more question. Is that okay?

38:53 Adam Yeah. Okay. But you didn't get into any kind of counseling or give up booze or anything like that?

38:59 No.

39:00 Adam No? Just came around.

39:02 Yeah.

39:02 Adam Okay.

39:02 Here's my second question. Okay. Since I was verbally abused by my dad, then by my husband, am I seeking that out in some way?

39:10 Drew Yes. Oh, yes.

39:10 Should I get into another relationship?

39:12 Drew Yes, you should. Why don't you get some therapy in the meantime? That'll change your radar. Okay. You'll choose something more helpful.

39:18 So like counseling and stuff?

39:19 Drew Yeah, it'd be great for you.

39:21 Adam By the way, how's that work? Does your dad, when he's done verbally abusing you, does he tag out and then your husband steps in?

39:28 Pretty much.

39:29 Adam He just slides right in. It's like the relay race. He just hands the baton to, I can see him having a conversation with the husband. It's like, I'm no spring chicken anymore. I mean, sure, I can verbally abuse as well as the next guy, but I'm getting a little old and she's moving out soon, so I'm going to need you to carry on the rich traditional verbal abuse to my daughter. So if you can, let's hear what you got. Smelly hoe. That's good. Yeah, okay. Keep it going. And if you want any pointers or you need a shoulder to cry on, you call me. And on weekends when you get tired, I'll come by the house and verbally abuse her for you. Conspiracy. Fantastic. Okay, we'll take ourselves a little break. Afroman is here tonight. You can find his CD out August 28th and also on the Jane Side of Bob Strike Back soundtrack, which is currently out. We'll take a little break. We'll be back. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Kevin Smith from Jane, Simon, Bob, Strike Back. Tomorrow night, Afro Man Tonight. Who also has a song on that soundtrack. Because I got high.

41:22 Drew All the bad things that can happen when you get high.

41:24 Adam Yeah, it's a good song. Yeah, Afroman is pretty high right now.

41:30 Afroman Terrible things, unbearable.

41:33 Adam The CD will be out on the 28th of August, and that's called The Good Times. And we'll hear something else off of that in the 11 o'clock counter.

41:40 Drew Take a week call right here.

41:42 Adam Take some calls.

41:43 Caller All right.

41:44 Adam Dave?

41:44 Yeah?

41:45 Adam You smoke a lot of weed?

41:46 Drew No, he doesn't.

41:47 Adam No, I don't hear your voice.

41:50 No, about once a week for the past year. I used to smoke a ton, but not anymore.

41:56 Adam All right.

41:57 And so I quit about a month ago, and I might have to do a drug test in the next couple of weeks.

42:05 Drew A urine test?

42:06 Yeah.

42:07 Drew Just make sure you don't lose a bunch of weight or go exercise a couple of days within the 48 hours or so before the drug test.

42:14 Is there anything I can do like the proceeding in the next few days?

42:18 Adam No.

42:18 Drew Well, a lot of fluids. But anything you do to adulter the urine, we would pick up on, and that would be a positive test.

42:25 Yeah. Yeah. But if I was going to take the test next week or something.

42:29 Drew You're fine. You have a smoke pot for a month. When you were smoking pot big time, how long was that for?

42:34 Well, I'm like 26 now, when I was in my early 20s, every day. And then each year I get older, I smoke less.

42:42 Drew This isn't marijuana.

42:45 Adam You're not that into it.

42:47 No. It's really boring. It's more of a social thing than anything. There's people you can't hang out with.

42:54 Adam What are you testing for?

42:56 What am I testing for?

42:57 Drew Are you an airline pilot or a marine or what are you going to be?

42:59 No, it's just a lame corporate job.

43:02 Drew Kmart.

43:03 Adam You don't care about it?

43:04 No, not really.

43:05 Drew All right.

43:05 Adam Well, what are you sweating it for?

43:07 Well, because I'm unemployed and I need a job.

43:09 Adam All right. Well, look, it's not going to show. You'll be fine.

43:13 Okay, that's cool. Do you know if like those home drug tests, if they work?

43:16 Drew Yeah, they do. Yeah?

43:18 Adam So you can like pre-screen yourself. Do you get the marijuana test specifically, get the cocaine test specifically?

43:25 Drew I think it's a pretty broad. I don't know. I've not really seen one lately. Different states have different ones available.

43:31 Adam Are they urine?

43:32 Drew Uh-huh. Hmm. It's cerebral spinal fluid.

43:36 Adam You just put a tap?

43:37 Drew Yeah, in your spine.

43:37 Adam In your spine? And you let it drip overnight into a graduated cylinder? All right. You never took a Afroman, you never took a drug test, did you?

43:47 Afroman Oh, yeah, man.

43:49 Adam Really?

43:49 Afroman Yeah, that's why I agree with him, he's right. It works.

43:55 Adam The drug test works? No, not smoking works? What works? Did you fail your drug test?

44:00 Afroman No.

44:00 Adam What did you take it for?

44:02 Afroman Well, because, you know, I had to take a drug test, you know.

44:05 Adam Oh, probation or something?

44:07 Afroman Yeah, something.

44:12 Adam So you got busted for drugs and like-

44:15 Afroman Something.

44:16 Adam Something like that.

44:17 Afroman Something.

44:17 Adam And were you able to pass them?

44:19 Afroman Yes.

44:19 Adam Do you have any tricks for passing them? I mean, you smoke weed, right?

44:23 Afroman I hate my character, you know.

44:25 Drew Oh, right.

44:26 Adam That's right. Drew's character doesn't smoke weed. So note any tricks hypothetically for passing a drug test, besides not doing the drugs?

44:37 Afroman Well, yeah, man, you can get the- man, you're looking-

44:43 Adam No.

44:45 Drew There's a bunch of stuff out there. There's like- they got great names to like, you know, piss off kind of thing. They're like-

44:51 Adam Right. Well, I like guys- guys will sell their urine over the internet.

44:55 Afroman Give me a call, man. We can stream some tips.

44:58 Drew But I tell you, we watch that stuff.

45:01 Adam All right. Jesse?

45:03 Drew Yeah.

45:03 Adam You're 25?

45:05 Caller I'm 25. And I'm a long time listener. First time caller.

45:08 Adam Great.

45:09 Caller Great.

45:09 Caller And I want to see. I have this bizarre thing whenever I get close to a woman, which is rare, this bizarre sound emanates from like my gut. It sounds like a piston pumping.

45:21 Caller Have you ever heard of that?

45:23 Adam Yeah. That's you whacking off.

45:25 Caller I don't whack off.

45:25 Drew What do you mean you get close to her? What does that mean exactly?

45:28 Caller If I'm like- if I'm getting like- it doesn't happen when I masturbate. But when I get like- if I'm with a woman like closer, it just-

45:37 Drew I'm going to ask the question again. What does that mean to be close to her?

45:39 Like kissing and making out.

45:41 Drew Okay.

45:41 Caller Close to sex, building up. It's bizarre, like piss- it sounds like a piston pumping out of my stomach. It's really bizarre.

45:49 Drew Maybe it's just your aorta. Maybe you're getting so excited. Your heart's really pounding.

45:52 Caller It's not my heart, though. It's down like lower, like closer to my kidneys.

45:55 Adam Drew, you know there's that-

45:56 Drew Kidneys are in your back.

45:57 Adam No, he doesn't know what he's talking about. Hold on there, Jesse. Drew, you know that huge artery that basically goes from the bottom of your body to the top? Your body goes across there. I thought your aorta was connected to your heart.

46:09 Drew Yeah, your aorta goes up and around all the way down.

46:11 Adam Oh, so the aorta, is there aorta valve on your heart?

46:14 Drew There's the aortic valve at the heart, and then the thoracic aorta goes like this.

46:17 Adam It's louder. So the aorta, that's still part of the aorta, or that is the aorta?

46:21 Drew The abdomen, yeah.

46:22 Adam Okay. I always thought the aorta was on the heart.

46:25 Drew The aortic valve is on the heart.

46:26 Adam Okay. And so that goes right down the middle of you. And once in a while, if you lie on your back and you put your hand just below your ribs, it'll like to toon, to toon, to toon. Maybe we get the nerves going and the adrenaline pumping a little more. And so it's trying to get some blood down to that penis of yours that doesn't see blood that often.

46:43 Caller That's true.

46:44 Adam All right. So that's what it is.

46:46 Caller Okay. I have another question.

46:47 Adam Is it the aorta artery or the aorta, what do you call it?

46:50 Caller It's an artery.

46:50 Adam All right.

46:51 Caller The aorta is above the heart.

46:52 Caller That's correct.

46:52 Drew No. It goes down basically below your belly button.

46:54 Caller Oh, it actually does. Wow.

46:55 Drew Yeah.

46:56 Adam All right.

46:57 Caller And I have something else to ask.

46:58 Adam No, we're out of time. All right. You know, it wasn't going to be any good, right?

47:03 Drew We're really out of time.

47:03 Adam Afroman is here. We'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back.

47:08 Loveline, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

47:11 Adam We'll be right back. Hey, it's Loveline, everybody. Afroman is here tonight.

47:56 Caller Bukkuk!

47:58 Adam That's him, his super chicken. His CD is coming out on the 28th, The Good Times, because I got high on the big song on that, which will also be on the Jane's Island Bobstrike Back. I keep stumbling when I get to the word soundtrack. And Kevin Smith will be in here tomorrow night from that movie, so we'll talk to him. We'll also hear something else from Afroman before the night is through on the 11 o'clock hour. And let's talk to Eric, who's 13. Eric?

48:32 Caller Yeah?

48:32 Adam What's up?

48:33 Caller Nothing much. I've been trying to call her for a long, for a while, but I'm sure a lot of people have asked this question, but is it possible for a guy to have an orgasm to the butt, like in the movie Road Trip? Like, when she sticks his fingers in his butt?

48:49 Adam Right. Right. I saw that.

48:52 Drew I guess I missed that.

48:53 Adam There was a scene where the guy was at a sperm clinic or thought he was going to give a sample, and the nurse basically milked him through the prostate. Is that possible?

49:07 Drew I guess for somebody, but it's pretty rare, I would think.

49:10 Adam Wouldn't do it?

49:11 Drew Yeah.

49:11 Adam I mean, if somebody put their finger, would it be massaged, the prostate?

49:15 Drew Yeah, that's the sort of folklore, anyway.

49:17 Adam All right.

49:18 Caller All right.

49:18 Adam Hey, Eric?

49:19 Caller Yeah?

49:19 Adam You can't just get a hand job? You're going to have someone put their hand up your ass?

49:24 Drew Yeah.

49:25 Caller I was just wondering if that was possible.

49:26 Drew Yeah. Thirteen, just sitting around thinking about it.

49:28 Adam Right. You got time on your hands.

49:29 Drew Thinking about the Constitution, and I wonder if people would have had it in my ass.

49:35 Adam All right, Eric, you have a girlfriend?

49:37 Yeah.

49:38 Adam You do?

49:38 Yeah.

49:39 Adam What's going on? You guys make out?

49:42 Caller Actually, not yet. I was wondering about that because we've been going out for about like almost half a year.

49:49 Adam No kissing, huh?

49:51 Caller Yeah. Lots of kissing, just no tongue.

49:53 Adam No tongue?

49:54 Caller Yeah.

49:54 Adam Well, how do you do a lot of kissing without the tongue eventually working in? It's like that cartoon kissing?

50:00 Drew She's not into the tongue.

50:02 Adam Have you tried the tongue?

50:05 Caller Not yet.

50:06 Adam I tried the tongue.

50:07 Drew Maybe he has a sense that she's not.

50:09 Adam Is her mouth clenched shut?

50:11 Caller Sort of, kind of. I tried once and I didn't get through it really.

50:16 Adam Try the, what's the matter baby, uptight? Try that uptight line.

50:21 Drew Make her feel guilty.

50:22 Adam That uptight line works great. It works great on me. You're not uptight, are you? Because people just go, first response is, no, no, I'm not uptight.

50:31 Drew Are we just, are you cool?

50:33 Adam Yeah. That's like when I try to tell people who are mad at me, do you have a sense of humor? You're not uptight, do you have a sense of humor? Or do great lines because people stumble. They go, yeah, I have a, of course I have a sense of humor. And then you get going. One person, I can't remember who it was. She was so mad at me. She just said, no, no, I don't. And then I was screwed. I was like, where do you go from there?

50:56 Drew I think it was on the man show when you were signing people up.

50:58 Adam I was trying to get people to sign off on something. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah. You know, the horrible thing, you don't realize what goes on on TV. Like when we do the man show is you go out on the street, you abuse people, and then when you're done abusing them, you go, hey, could you sign this? And they go, hey, F you. And you go, oh, come on, it's real important to us. And you go, hey, asshole, you just got done making fun of me. I'm not signing that. And then you look like an idiot. And that's when I use the, are you uptight? Or do you have a sense of humor line? Jeremy?

51:30 Yeah.

51:30 Adam You're 17?

51:31 Caller Yeah, like over the past month, even up to two months, I've been like having this diarrhea. It's like not constant or not making me go more or anything. It's just like every other, it's like every other day.

51:44 Drew Are all your movements loose?

51:46 Caller No, no, like every other one. They're like every other couple of days or something like that. But I'm having like, I had a parasite test done. I think, I think they called it a colony test. Anyway then, they came up negative, but then they're going to do another one because they said it wasn't always positive. They aren't always accurate.

52:06 Drew Well, there are basically four things you want to test for. You want to test for Giardia antigen, which is something that's in the water and it's pretty easy to get. You want to check for, hang on, you want to check for other bacteria. Things like Campylobacter, Shigella, that sort of thing. And then parasites, which are, let's see here in Cincinnati, not so common up there. And then finally there's antibiotics, there's diaries you can get from having taken antibiotics. There's overgrowth of a certain bacterium called Clostridium difficile.

52:33 Adam Well, he's not taking it. Are you taking any antibiotics?

52:36 Caller No.

52:37 Drew Had you a month or so ago?

52:38 Caller No. Like it started, like the very first time I can remember is like the beginning of summer, end of June. But then it was like, it wasn't that bad, but it really started up.

52:48 Drew All right. But then if the, if there's nothing infectious, I've been burned by diarrhea is like this.

52:54 Adam We've all been burned by diarrhea.

52:55 Drew End up being appendicitis. And then you need, you need to see a gastroenterologist. You need an endoscopy. They need to look up there and look at the surface of the colon. See if you have, well, this could be inflammatory bowel disease, can be a lot of different things. It needs to be checked out. It needs to be thoroughly worked up and needs to be worked up soon. This two months is way too long.

53:11 Adam Dr. Drew, I know I've said this before, but it's really, you know, now that we've worked out medicine to the point where they don't have to cut you open, they can just send stuff up in, they can feed stuff up in the other cameras and claws and figure it all out. But to me, the downside of that's all going up your ass.

53:29 Drew Or down your throat.

53:30 Adam Well, here's what I'm saying. Wouldn't it be great if the human body, and I'm sure humans will have this in years to come.

53:36 Drew A special attachment.

53:37 Adam A stub out bit. Like a clean out drain. You know, like plumbing in your house. There is, if you go to the outside of your house by where your kitchen sink is, you'll see a little knockout. Outside the house, you'll see a little drain knockout thing. The plumber, that's so that if there's a problem, if something's stopped up, the plumber will pull that knockout out and feed it in through there. It doesn't have to go in through the drain or up through the air vent or any of that stuff.

54:02 Drew You're saying something that doesn't have to go through the mouth doesn't have to go up through the ass. Yeah. There's something in the side.

54:07 Adam There's a little something in your side, let's say around, like a little above your hip, just a little knockout. And that's like your utility stub out. You could sit down and talk to the doctor while he was feeding stuff down there.

54:19 Drew We do those. Those are called colostomies or ileostomies.

54:22 Adam We can do that for you. No. That's not exactly what I'm looking for. Fred?

54:28 Yeah?

54:29 Adam You're 29?

54:30 Caller Yeah. My question is recently my fiancé kind of slowed down on initiating sex and she also recently started taking birth control.

54:45 Adam You're right.

54:45 Caller And it kind of cost her to... Well, she's been spotting for a whole month. She's been kind of on her period still for a whole month now. And well, over the weekend, I basically told her that I wanted to be with her and she was just like... She was cool with it at first, but then she kind of... I don't know, I kind of just started seeing that she was just doing it because...

55:12 Adam Yeah.

55:13 Drew Is she on any medication other than this?

55:15 Caller No.

55:16 Drew Fred sounds like suicidal because his poor girlfriend had dropped her libido.

55:19 Adam Was she initiating sex before this?

55:22 Caller Oh yeah.

55:23 Drew She always initiates.

55:24 Adam She would come after you?

55:25 Caller Well, not always, I mean, it's kind of a mutual thing. I would call her on the phone sometimes and talk dirty to her. She would do the same to me, but...

55:35 Drew All right, well get her to change... Which pill is she on? A less? Yeah, get her to change pills. Try Phasic sometimes a little better with the libido, so try that, okay?

55:45 Caller And, I mean, does this normally happen?

55:47 Drew It happens very frequently.

55:49 Adam Fred, don't freak out.

55:50 Drew Yeah, Fred, you're freaking out. She's had a medication effect and it can be adjusted.

55:54 Adam You're gonna get married to her? Yes. All right, well get used to this. Look, and you know, it's funny when guys... I don't know, maybe they're sensitive and maybe I should think more like they do or something, but I like when guys are like, well, she would have sex with me, but I could tell she wasn't that interested. Who cares? I mean, look, I don't want to sound like a prick, but you got...

56:18 Drew You sound like a prick.

56:19 Adam No, but you got a good woman here. If she's not that interested in having sex on any given night and she still has sex with you anyway, that's a good woman.

56:26 Drew He misses the enthusiasm.

56:27 Afroman Yeah, man, it ain't no fun if she don't get into it, man.

56:31 Adam Yeah, but that's why you got the TV in the bedroom, right, Afroman?

56:37 Afroman No, man, he want to get some live entertainment.

56:40 Adam I understand.

56:40 Afroman See what's happening with her, man.

56:41 Adam I understand.

56:42 Afroman She eating up everything, smoking all his weed. She want to see what's happening with her, man.

56:48 Adam All right. April?

56:50 Yeah.

56:50 Adam You're 16?

56:51 Caller Yeah.

56:52 Adam What's up?

56:53 Caller I've been going out with my boyfriend for about eight months now. And about a week ago, we were making out. And he took his pants off and asked me to finger him. So, like, I didn't know to do what I did. And, like, I found about five pairs of my underwear missing. And I found them at his house. And he wears them.

57:17 Drew You know, he told you that he wears them?

57:19 Caller No, I saw him wearing them.

57:21 Adam Oh, wait a minute. Where's the fingering part come in? Is this a finger?

57:26 Caller Yeah. Like, in his butt.

57:30 Adam Really?

57:31 Caller Yes.

57:32 Adam See, I would say this is a bogus call, but girls don't usually do bogus calls.

57:37 Caller No, I swear.

57:38 Drew He's too creative to be made up.

57:40 Caller I like him a lot.

57:42 Drew How did this go down, now? And how old is the guy?

57:44 Caller He's 18.

57:45 Drew And how did this go down? You were just making out in one day and all of a sudden?

57:47 Caller Yeah, like, really making out. I'm a virgin and everything, and he knows that I do not want to go that far.

57:52 Adam Right.

57:53 Drew And he's pulling you down a path that I'm not sure you want to go down, though.

57:56 Adam You're going down the Hershey Highway.

57:59 Afroman What happened? What happened to you?

58:00 Caller I felt so disgusted afterwards. Like, he just took his pants off and I'm like, okay, I'm not going to have sex with you, right? And he's like, I know, I know, just go on. And I'm like, okay, whatever. So he put my hand there and started moving it. And like, he told me to put it in there and just, like, shing it.

58:18 Adam I'll tell you, I wish when I was 18, the whatever thing was around. I mean, because I talk to people all night. So he dropped his pants and he's like, put his penis in my face and told me to suck on it. And I was like, I don't want to do it, but whatever. So I blew it and then he started to come and then he wanted me to drink it. But I was like, I don't want to. But I was like, whatever. And then he said, okay, now it's time for that. I'm going to cornhole you, bitch. I didn't really want to do it, but whatever. Where was the whatever when I was in high school? The whatever. To me, it just ended at, I don't want to do it. There was no whatever, but whatever.

58:54 Drew No, whatever did not exist.

58:55 Adam But it's sort of like, I love this new approach of sex, which is, well, as long as your pants are down and my fingers out, I might as well stuff it up your ass. Whatever. Just whatever.

59:07 Afroman Whatever they can do to help, man.

59:09 Drew I thought. Whatever.

59:10 Adam I thought whatever. Yeah, where was that when we were young? I thought whatever.

59:15 Afroman These young people are so open-minded.

59:18 Adam Open-minded is what they are. April?

59:21 Caller Yeah.

59:21 Adam And how is it that you caught him wearing your panties?

59:25 Caller I, he wears boxers over them.

59:29 Adam Uh-huh.

59:30 Afroman Smooth.

59:31 Adam Right.

59:32 Caller And I walked in on him going bathroom once, going to the bathroom one time, and like he had his boxers down with my underwear on.

59:41 Adam He was peeing.

59:42 Caller And he had like, he pulled it through the underwear.

59:44 Adam Yeah, but, and his boxers were down around his ankles?

59:48 Caller Yeah.

59:49 Adam Who pees and pulls their underpants down to their ankles, by the way?

59:53 Drew I don't know if you're looking for someone to...

59:55 Adam He was hoping a finger might get up there. Really? This guy's standing up, urinating, and he has his boxers around his ankles, like a three-year-old?

1:00:05 Caller He's not three, just, I don't know.

1:00:07 Adam Oh, he's not three?

1:00:07 Caller No.

1:00:08 Adam I see.

1:00:09 Drew Interesting.

1:00:09 Adam Well, that's a whole new revelation. I said, like a three-year-old.

1:00:14 Caller Yeah, he does, actually. I don't know if it's a habit or what.

1:00:17 Drew No, something is really up with this guy.

1:00:20 Adam This guy's giving you the creeps?

1:00:22 Caller Yeah.

1:00:23 Adam Okay. That's enough with him.

1:00:25 Caller I really like him.

1:00:26 Adam Sure. What's not to love? What do you like about him?

1:00:30 Caller Just, he treats me like I am God, dude. It's like, everything I do is wonderful. He has never gotten mad at me, and like, I want to stay with him, I just, it's taking me home.

1:00:40 Drew Do you normally stay with guys who are sort of abusive?

1:00:45 Caller No.

1:00:46 Drew Have you been with abusive guys in the past?

1:00:48 Caller No.

1:00:48 Drew Is your dad abusive?

1:00:50 Caller Is what abusive?

1:00:51 Drew Your dad?

1:00:52 Caller My dad, I haven't seen my dad in two years. He moved to Florida.

1:00:56 Drew What is it about how this guy is treating you that's so different from how other men have treated you?

1:01:01 Caller Well, like most guys, they don't really look at me like they think I'm a little girl. Treat me like I'm just perfect in every way. Treat me like I'm four years old and he doesn't. He understands me.

1:01:20 Adam He treats you like a Bangkok hooker in her 40s. No kidding. He wouldn't ask a little girl to put the finger up the ass.

1:01:27 Caller What am I supposed to do? He gives me pleasure. I just wanted to give it back to him.

1:01:33 Adam All right, hold on. I got to talk. He gives me pleasure. I want to give it back to him.

1:01:38 Drew Whatever.

1:01:40 Adam He understands me like I'm just perfect in every way. This call is coming from Bakersfield. They understand what goes on here in Bakersfield.

1:01:46 Drew I'm beginning to.

1:01:47 Adam Guys wearing thong bags with boxers over. This is during the summer. That's got to work up quite a ball scent there, wearing two pair of underpants. I barely wear one pair in the winter, two in the summer, finger up the ass, and all this weird like she's talking like April's talking like she's like a dog that can talk. He brings me pleasure. He is good. I love him. He is weird. He scares me. Other guys, they don't treat me good.

1:02:15 Drew Yeah, she cannot. Okay. April, you have to look at the complete picture. I understand he makes you feel good. I understand he's the first guy that makes you feel this way, but there's a lot more to this guy that suggests there are aspects of him that you aren't so enthusiastic about. Okay? Be realistic about that. Don't deny that. You don't have to keep dating a guy just because he makes you feel good. In fact, many times, and I don't know this guy, but many times people make you feel good, and do that to achieve certain ends.

1:02:46 Adam I think he's manipulating this guy. Of course he is.

1:02:49 Drew Of course he is. But we don't know him. And I suspect he's working her into some sort of real serious corner here.

1:02:56 Adam Yeah. Wait till he brings out the big guns. This is nothing.

1:02:59 Drew Yeah. This is him being respectful and shooting like a princess.

1:03:03 Adam Yes. This is the tip of the brown iceberg. Believe me, there's more.

1:03:09 Caller Do you think he might be gay or something?

1:03:12 Adam No. I don't think he's gay. I just think he's worse than gay. And you know, I love the gays. I don't mean that in a bad way. But I mean...

1:03:20 Drew You're beyond, beyond gay.

1:03:21 Adam The best day of your life would be if this guy turned out to be gay.

1:03:24 Drew Yeah. That would be the least...

1:03:25 Adam This guy's probably deviant and he's got all kinds of stuff lined up for you.

1:03:29 Caller So I should just break up with him or get away or what?

1:03:32 Adam He makes me nervous. I don't trust him. But if you want to talk to him, then why don't you confront him? You're in love with the guy. Why don't you say, Look, what's up with the finger in the underpants? Help me understand this.

1:03:43 Caller Okay.

1:03:43 Adam All right.

1:03:44 Drew But keep your eyes on don't.

1:03:45 Adam Let's do a little role playing. I'll be him.

1:03:49 Caller Okay.

1:03:50 Adam Okay. All right. Hey, April.

1:03:54 Caller Hi. You know how I've been like finding my underwear missing?

1:04:00 Adam Hey, could you take your pants off? Yeah.

1:04:03 Drew Your pants go off.

1:04:03 Adam I mean, my pants off. Can I take my pants off? It's hot in here. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Your underpants are missing.

1:04:10 Caller Yeah. And I walked in on you and I saw them on you. So like, why are you wearing them?

1:04:15 Adam Oh, I don't know. I want to be closer to you. Makes me feel like I'm wearing you.

1:04:22 Caller Well, that's like sick.

1:04:24 Adam Okay. So that weirds you out?

1:04:26 Caller Yeah.

1:04:27 Adam Okay. All right. I'll stop.

1:04:29 Caller Okay. And what about the fingering thing?

1:04:31 Adam That I'm not going to stop.

1:04:34 Drew Adam. Adam.

1:04:35 Adam That's my love. You can't take that away from me.

1:04:37 Drew Are you okay?

1:04:38 Adam What are you up to, baby? Yeah. All right. Good. That was good. That's good. Ask him about those. Look. Just say, look. Say, I love you. But those are those two things make me nervous. They really make me they make me uneasy. And I just want to talk to you about it. I want you to make me put me at ease.

1:04:54 Drew The only thing I want to show her what he's all about before it's too late. I don't have to hold back armamentary.

1:05:01 Adam Okay, she loves him and fine and and look ladies just because you found a guy who doesn't abuse you doesn't mean he's the world's greatest book out there called But I Love Him.

1:05:10 Drew It's about when we're getting teenage when we're getting involved in these awful relationships.

1:05:14 Adam Liz? Liz? You're 16?

1:05:19 Caller Right.

1:05:19 Adam You're on with Afro Man and Dr. Drew? You're truly. What's up?

1:05:24 Caller Um, I'm 16 and I was wondering why I can't make friends and I've never had a boyfriend or anything and I like basically I think I'm a pretty person or a pretty girl and I'm friendly and everything but you know, I don't have any friends and I've never had a boyfriend and I'm 16 and everybody I know is like way cool and everything but not me so I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with me.

1:05:54 Adam What do you mean everyone you know is way cool but not you?

1:05:57 Drew What does that mean?

1:05:58 Caller You know like, I don't know, I just, I don't really fit in but I do, like I play sports, I'm really active in school and I guess like there's people I talk to every day that you see in classes and stuff you know but I don't hang out with anybody.

1:06:14 Drew Why don't you?

1:06:16 Caller I guess like my parents are really, really strict and everything.

1:06:19 Drew Why don't you make an effort to hang out with some people?

1:06:22 Caller Well, they tell me I can bring people over but I don't want to bring people over because they'll like freak out when they meet my parents.

1:06:29 Adam Why?

1:06:30 Caller They're like so weird. They don't let me go anywhere. They like when you're 16, everybody can drive. You know, like their parents don't drive them around anymore. And when I try to go out with anybody, like they freak out if they're 16. And they don't let me hang out with people that are older.

1:06:47 Caller So order people that can drive.

1:06:48 Caller And when it takes me places.

1:06:50 Drew What would your parents, how would they behave if your friends come over to your house? Why would that be so embarrassing to you?

1:06:56 Caller They would, they're just so, like they're really, really religious. And that like weirds people out a little bit there.

1:07:09 Adam Were they, were they talk to them about religion?

1:07:11 Caller Yeah, they ask them like, are you religious? Like, what do you do at home? What, like they basically like, quiz them on their whole life and all this stuff and.

1:07:22 Adam Yeah, yeah, they're real intrusive. You have a eating disorder?

1:07:27 Caller Well, not really. Like, I'm not skinny and I'm not fat. I'm just regular.

1:07:33 Drew But you have issues with food?

1:07:35 Caller No.

1:07:37 Adam No?

1:07:37 Caller Like, I don't eat breakfast.

1:07:38 Drew You don't vomit or, you don't vomit or use laxatives or anything?

1:07:41 Caller No.

1:07:42 Adam Okay. All right. Hey, Liz?

1:07:44 Drew You got to make up a war plan. I mean, she needs, like, a plan.

1:07:49 Adam Well, look, you're active. You play sports. What about some of your teammates? You can't hang out with them?

1:07:55 Caller Well, I don't know. Like, for a little while, I was hanging out with people. I got in a lot of trouble just because, like, I drove around with people that were 16, you know, and, like, they were drinking and doing all the stuff. Like, my parents didn't find that part out. They just found out that I was driving with them. And, um, because I had, like, I have a friend, sort of, but we, like, got in a big fight a little while ago, and we're not speaking right now.

1:08:20 Adam Why?

1:08:21 Caller Because she got, um, in all this trouble for weed and everything, and she blamed it all on me. And so my parents, like, freaked out. Like, I've never done weed. I've only been drunk once, but they don't know about that or anything.

1:08:36 Adam Yeah. Well, listen, look, come out to LA and hang out with me. I got a big house.

1:08:43 Caller That's cool.

1:08:43 Adam You'll be my old lady.

1:08:45 Caller Okay.

1:08:45 Adam You're nice and clean. I trust you. You're a virgin, right?

1:08:49 Caller Yeah.

1:08:50 Adam That's cool. We'll watch TV.

1:08:53 Caller Um, well, actually, we're not allowed to watch TV.

1:08:56 Adam No, no, but we are at my house.

1:08:57 Caller Oh, cool.

1:08:58 Adam That's the thing. You can drink beer, smoke pot, we can do whatever.

1:09:01 Caller That's cool.

1:09:02 Adam Is that cool?

1:09:03 Caller Yep.

1:09:03 Adam We can watch R-rated movies.

1:09:05 Caller Okay.

1:09:06 Adam I'll set you up on the sofa.

1:09:08 Caller All right.

1:09:08 Adam But I'll sleep on the sofa, too, with you. It's a technicality. See, I can say to people, she's sleeping on the sofa. They won't know I'm sleeping on the sofa with her. All right, Liz, your parents are intrusive. They're pain in the ass. It's screwing up your high school years. And I don't know what the hell you can do about it.

1:09:23 Drew Except the usual Corolla recommendation.

1:09:25 Adam Get your grades up. Get your grades up.

1:09:27 Drew Get the hell out of there.

1:09:28 Adam Go far away to college and freak out when you get to college. They're sleeping with everyone in your dorms. They're boozing.

1:09:33 Caller Well, that's what my sister did.

1:09:34 Caller My sister screwed up her life pretty bad.

1:09:36 Adam Yeah, right. She went off to college and freaked out?

1:09:39 Caller Well, she got pregnant.

1:09:40 Adam Right. Now they're really coming down on you.

1:09:43 Caller Yeah. Well, actually, she ended up marrying a millionaire.

1:09:45 Adam Oh, good.

1:09:46 Caller So, yeah.

1:09:47 Adam Fantastic. Was it the guy from that Fox show?

1:09:49 Caller No, it was the guy that got her pregnant.

1:09:51 Adam I see.

1:09:51 Caller That's good.

1:09:52 Adam That was just a little play on that marrying a millionaire show. Remember that thing? Fox, what the hell was that crazy, claimated millionaire guy? What the hell was that guy's name was in the news like a year and a half ago?

1:10:07 Drew I went over to do Larry King with them.

1:10:09 Adam What was that guy? Oh, he married that kooky chick and she wanted a divorce and she was all effed up. Isn't that great? You know what's great about society is it's like, now we're on the Chandra Levy. You know what I mean? You just kind of move on. It's like, we're done with John Benet. We're now moving on to Chandra Levy and next week it'll be somebody else. What was that guy's name? Rick Rockman. It sounds like a Flintstones character. Rick Rockman. Rick Rockstone.

1:10:42 Drew Rackman.

1:10:44 Adam Come on, guys. Do I got to get the old crazy, the crazy trivia and the new stuff though?

1:10:49 Drew What was the woman's name? That's even harder.

1:10:51 Adam Her name was like Chandra. Fondre. She had a crazy name, a crazy blonde. Come on, somebody come up with that guy's name.

1:10:59 Drew She was the nurse.

1:11:00 Adam Afroman? You know who I'm talking about? Rick Rockwell. Was it Rick Rockwell?

1:11:07 Drew We'll forget her in the break.

1:11:08 Adam Why do I got to come up with three quarters of every answer on this show? That's what I want to know. Afroman is here. And her name was like Chandra or Cassandra or Chandra or... Alright, we're going to figure all this out and we'll be back.

1:11:25 Caller Love Line will be right back, so get your problems ready, ready.

1:11:55 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, that's Dr. Drew, and he was Afroman. I think Afroman's blowing a doobie out in the parking lot or something.

1:12:05 Drew Well, let's play one of his songs while we're out here.

1:12:07 Adam Shall we? You want to do that? All right, we'll play a little something from The Good Times, which is the name of the CD, which will be out on August 28th. Also, Because I Got High, the song we played a little bit earlier in the evening, is going to be on the Jane Silent Bob soundtrack, which is coming out, or is out, I should say. Kevin Smith will be in here from that movie. And this next one is called Let's Get Drunk. Let's go to the club tonight. Let's get off of The Good Times, which is the Afroman CD, which will be out on the August 28th. And Afroman not only lays down a good tune, but it's got a real powerful message behind it. Get effed up and try not to go to jail.

1:18:30 Afroman Well, I mean, you know, I figure, you know what I'm saying, everybody gonna get drunk regardless, you know. True. Let's get drunk without fighting with a punk.

1:18:40 Adam Right. It's easier to get stoned and not fight than it is to get drunk and not fight. Wouldn't you say?

1:18:46 Afroman Yeah. Last thing I want to do when I'm feeling good is get sweaty with somebody.

1:18:52 Adam Right. Right. A guy.

1:18:54 Afroman Yeah.

1:18:55 Adam Right. That's what Drew says all the time.

1:18:58 Drew You still force me.

1:18:59 Adam James?

1:19:01 Caller Yeah.

1:19:01 Adam You're 17?

1:19:02 Caller Yeah.

1:19:03 Adam What's up?

1:19:04 Caller Well, it's kind of embarrassing. And I've been with my girlfriend for a little bit. But like when I go down on her, she like, tell you the truth, I think she's farting and it's like, it's hard to talk about. Like I know it's really sounds like a joke.

1:19:18 Adam Yeah.

1:19:19 Caller But I haven't brought it up with her because it's, you know, as you'd imagine, it's pretty embarrassing.

1:19:24 Afroman Well, is she farting from the vaginal area or the rectal area? Do you know where it's coming from?

1:19:31 Caller It's not like I hear it or something. You know, I can just, it just doesn't smell good at all.

1:19:36 Adam Well, it could just be her smell, though.

1:19:38 Caller No, I mean, I know the difference between her smell and like a fart, you know.

1:19:44 Afroman What do you think it is?

1:19:45 Adam Well, wait a minute. Hold on. If you're down there, how is she going to break wind without you hearing it?

1:19:52 Caller I don't know. She's like moaning and stuff, too, you know. Or we'll have like, you know, something in the background.

1:19:58 Adam Listen, that jackass. Look, if you're going down on her, you have two ears. It could be obstructed by her thighs, but your ears are four or five inches away from her ass. If she let something go, don't you think you'd hear at least a shhh?

1:20:16 Afroman I mean, even if your ears, I mean, your nose would catch it with too, you know.

1:20:20 Adam Well, that's what he's saying.

1:20:22 Caller Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's just from there, you know.

1:20:24 Drew But that would come and go. You're saying it's constant.

1:20:27 Caller Well, I mean, you know, it's not like I've done this twice. I mean, we do it a lot and I noticed it a lot.

1:20:32 Drew That's the point.

1:20:33 Caller Yeah.

1:20:33 Drew So I mean, it's not like it like it comes. Oh my God. There it is for a few seconds and it goes away. It's all the time.

1:20:39 Caller Oh, yeah. So it's a problem.

1:20:41 Adam It's like, no, no, listen, I'll tell you. I truly, truly hope that none of our callers get into police work because they would see a bloody body, a bloody baseball bat lying next to the bloody body and bring the bat in for questioning. The bat obviously attacked the man and it would never look for the guy who swung the bat because their mind can't get any farther than that. We're asking if you've gone down there numerous times and the smell is consistent, then is she farting every single time you're down there?

1:21:14 Drew Constantly the whole time you're there? Even then, there'd be variability. There'd be a variability in the intensity.

1:21:21 Adam Yeah. I know how guys are at 17, though they smell something bad. It's like it farted. Something must be a fart. Your car smells bad. It's the catalytic converter. The car farted? No, no. That's something else. Something smells. I mean, they have to equate it to gas. James.

1:21:38 Caller Yeah.

1:21:40 Adam You understand what we're asking? Can't she be continuously farting without you hearing it the whole time you're down there?

1:21:48 Caller I guess she is. I mean, I understand what you're saying.

1:21:50 Adam You guess she is. So she's continuously farting.

1:21:55 Caller Well, yeah, I guess she isn't. Yeah.

1:21:56 Drew No, James, there's no such thing.

1:21:59 Adam What do you mean you guess she is or isn't? What do you mean?

1:22:01 Caller What I mean by that is, yes, she is.

1:22:03 Drew There's no such thing.

1:22:04 Adam So you go down on her for how long?

1:22:08 Caller Like maybe 15 minutes or something.

1:22:10 Adam 15 minutes. And the smell is there the entire time?

1:22:14 Caller It comes and goes.

1:22:15 Adam It comes and goes. All right. This is bogus, James. Okay, man. Well, He's making this up. He doesn't know what he's talking about. He's an idiot. Look, you stuff your, when you go down on someone, you essentially put your head in their underpants. You don't think you could hear if they farted?

1:22:33 Afroman Here's the bottom line. You know, either he can deal with it or he can't. You know, if he can't, leave it alone. If you can deal with it, go ahead, be a man, breathe through your mouth and take care of business. You know, it's too good.

1:22:45 Adam Right, right. You do what I do. You take that little shot of mentholatum, you know, that rub that Vicks put on your chest, just like the coroners do. You put just a little dab under your nose, just right on that part of your lip right there. Just a dab. The ladies don't notice it, and that's all you smell is a beautiful mentholatum. Then every once in a while, you give it a little rub on the clip with the mentholatum and they go nuts. That's my move, Drew. That's my imaginary move.

1:23:13 Drew It's a moment like this that I'm proud to be a part of the show.

1:23:16 Adam It's a good move right there though, right? A little shot of the mentholatum under the nose.

1:23:19 Afroman I got an ankle lock. I got to try that.

1:23:21 Adam Try that. Then, like I said, give them a little with the mentholatum. Feel the tingling. Heather?

1:23:30 Caller Hi.

1:23:30 Adam You're 15? What's up?

1:23:34 Caller I have a friend and we really like each other. He told me he likes me. I told him I like him. We've got that straight. And then I brought him going out and he was like, well, I can't. I was like, well, why not? And he's like, well, he went out with some girl and he thought they were really in love and they went out nothing. And then they had sex. We lost his virginity to her and he's afraid that's going to happen again. So there's a big barrier that I can't get through to get to him.

1:24:03 Drew And he's going to lose his virginity again?

1:24:08 Caller He's afraid that he's going to get hurt again.

1:24:11 Drew Okay. How long has he been out of this relationship?

1:24:15 Caller My gosh, maybe three or four months.

1:24:18 Adam How old is he?

1:24:19 Caller He's 16.

1:24:20 Adam All right. He's either gay or he doesn't like you.

1:24:23 Drew Or he's still into that other one. He's still pining and still expects to get back with it.

1:24:28 Adam No, no. He's not into Heather. Look, people do this all the time. They go, we sat down and we had a discussion and we both agreed we liked each other. But let me tell you how that discussion really goes. Hey, I really like you. Do you like me? Yeah? All right. Now that we got that clear, now why aren't we going out? And then that's the bottom line. Then the guy is like, well, I need some space right now. I need to collect myself. I broke my hymen three months ago.

1:25:01 Drew And I think a 15-year-old guy could still be sort of tied up in another relationship.

1:25:07 Adam Tied up if and he don't like the new one.

1:25:11 Drew Some guys are not open to it.

1:25:12 Adam No, no, no, no. Look, look. Think about, yes, that's true.

1:25:15 Drew But I can't remember what that was like.

1:25:17 Adam No, think about, we've all pined over a woman. We've all had our heart broken. But when a woman, when a new woman came on to the scene and she was a hot chick who you were into, you were immediately back on your horse and into her. Now, a lot of women came through that you weren't that interested in and therefore you didn't move. But if she was a hot chick and you were into her, you'd be into her.

1:25:41 Drew Because that never happens. Because when you're...

1:25:43 Adam No, you're punished.

1:25:44 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:25:45 Adam You're punished. It's a cavalcade of dogs that come through. It's like someone blew one of those silent dog whistles and these are all the women. I could dedicate the next five shows to this. Just the scary, heinous, unattractive women who came into my life when I was pining for whatever girlfriend dumped me at the time. And it twists the knife that much more. I was actually on a date with one of them, had a few margaritas and called the ex from the restaurant. It was that bad. That horrible. All right, we're going to take a break. What do I do with Heather? I don't think he likes her. Heather? I don't think he likes you that way.

1:26:24 Caller He literally told me he loved me though. And we went through this whole long conversation about it.

1:26:28 Adam All right, he loves you. He broke up with this other chick three months ago.

1:26:35 Caller Three, two, three, somewhere around that.

1:26:36 Adam Which is really equivalent to a year when you're 16. And he can't get it together to go out to date you?

1:26:44 Caller Well, he said he got hurt.

1:26:46 Adam He's what?

1:26:47 Caller He said he got hurt.

1:26:49 Adam All right, he got hurt. So what? Now there's you. He's in love with you. Look, he ain't into you.

1:26:58 Drew I don't know what to do.

1:26:59 Adam Don't wait it out.

1:27:01 Drew He could be.

1:27:01 Caller He could be.

1:27:01 Adam Now, three months.

1:27:03 Drew He could be a depressive.

1:27:04 Adam Something's wrong with him.

1:27:05 Caller Yeah.

1:27:05 Adam Look, look, Heather. All right, three choices. Gay does not or number two does not like you or number three is so effed up and so emotional and such a mess that you don't want to deal with him anyway. Those are your three scenarios. I'm sorry, baby, but if he was into you, he'd be you'd be doing something with him. What's up? What's up with you? Can you just find another guy?

1:27:34 Caller Oh, yeah. I have a lot of guys asking me out.

1:27:37 Adam Well, what's wrong with one of them?

1:27:40 Caller Nothing.

1:27:42 Adam I mean, I know you're into this guy, but this guy's kind of a mess. Isn't he?

1:27:48 Caller I guess.

1:27:49 Adam Well, I mean, what what's up? Does he think he's going to get back together with this old chick?

1:27:53 Caller Oh, he's no, he just says that he's like, Oh, it'll take a while for me to recuperate.

1:27:59 Caller And I'm like, recuperate.

1:28:01 Adam That was in that was in May. That was a long time ago.

1:28:06 Drew We're having the same reaction you had. It's like recuperate. What are you talking about?

1:28:10 Adam You got you got the love of your life right here. All right, Heather, don't freak out. Come on. Don't build your life around this guy. He's a weird dude. Okay? Okay. I'm gonna put you on hold because you're crying. All right?

1:28:26 Caller I'm not crying.

1:28:27 Adam Yeah, you're crying, right?

1:28:28 Caller No, I'm not.

1:28:29 Adam Sounds like you're crying.

1:28:30 Caller I'm not crying.

1:28:31 Adam All right. All right. Well, then screw you. We'll take a break.

1:28:35 Caller Hello, this is your radio. Love Line will be right back.

1:29:11 Adam Hey, everybody, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Drew. Kevin Smith will be in here tomorrow. Actor, director, writer. Jane Silent Bob strike back. Going to give that a plug. Speaking to that, Afroman has a song on the soundtrack. Yeah. That's because, because I got high is the name of that one. And The Good Times is the name of the CD. It's going to be out on the 28th of August. And let's get back to the phones. Eric?

1:29:37 Caller Yeah.

1:29:38 Adam You're at 13?

1:29:39 Caller Yeah.

1:29:40 Adam What's up?

1:29:41 Caller Well, I was just wondering how weed will affect your body when you get older.

1:29:46 Adam Well, stand up Afroman. Let's take a look at you.

1:29:49 Caller Oh, boy.

1:29:50 Drew That's too hard.

1:29:52 Afroman But I, yeah, go ahead.

1:29:55 Drew It, under the age of 15, there is evidence that it will actually cause your, certain parts of your brain not to grow.

1:30:03 Caller There's a particular, I don't need that, but.

1:30:04 Drew There's a particular region called the right frontal area, which is a part of the brain that you use to negotiate development. That's where yourself is actually developing.

1:30:12 Adam He doesn't care about his brain. He wants to know if he's got man boobs.

1:30:16 Drew You're gonna have man boobs. No. Not necessarily. You can. You can have man boobs, and you can have diminished sex drive, and you can have low testosterone levels. But the important thing is, is you lose these parts of your brain that you need to negotiate development.

1:30:28 Adam It physically doesn't do too much to you, unless, unless you get so unmotivated that you don't feel like playing sports or working out or just eating Funyuns all day.

1:30:37 Drew Chronic bronchitis.

1:30:38 Adam Your best bet is if you smoke a lot of weed and surf a lot, then you're in good shape and you can smoke a lot of weed. But you live in Tucson, so that's not going to happen. Afroman, how long have you been smoking the weed?

1:30:49 Caller Oh, about a year.

1:30:50 Adam I'm asking the Afroman.

1:30:52 Caller Oh.

1:30:53 Afroman Man. About a nervous four years.

1:30:58 Adam Four years? Yeah. Put a zero behind that four and that's the answer. About 40 years. It looks fine. Hey, Eric? Yeah. But really, here's the deal. I don't want to offend Afroman because he's parlayed this into a nice living. But at age 13, you smoke a ton of weed and we'll know it when we talk to you at 18 or 19. Adam? Yes.

1:31:21 Caller I just want to tell you something.

1:31:23 Adam Okay, hurry.

1:31:24 Caller You are like my role model.

1:31:25 Adam Thank you. Good.

1:31:26 Caller You're the coolest.

1:31:27 Adam Good. And Adam says don't smoke weed until you're 18.

1:31:30 Caller All right?

1:31:32 Adam All right there, buddy. Let's talk to Matthew who's 18, who has a 16 year old girlfriend. Mom found out they were having sex and forbid them to, now it's forbidden love. Matthew?

1:31:45 Caller Yeah.

1:31:45 Adam How did she find out?

1:31:47 Caller I don't know. She heard from somebody, but she knows.

1:31:50 Drew She heard from somebody?

1:31:52 Adam You're a real detective there, Matthew. You don't know?

1:31:55 Drew What did she say? How did she confront you?

1:31:56 Adam She heard from somebody.

1:31:58 Caller She confronted my girlfriend about it.

1:32:01 Drew Your mom?

1:32:02 Adam No, her mom.

1:32:03 Drew Her mom.

1:32:03 Caller My parents don't have a problem with it.

1:32:05 Adam Right. They don't care. And your first question wasn't who told her?

1:32:09 Drew No.

1:32:10 Adam No. How does that work, by the way? Wouldn't that be your first question? How did you find out who told her?

1:32:16 Caller Well, see, I really care about her. I love her so much.

1:32:18 Adam Okay.

1:32:19 Caller I mean, we first started going out when I was 16 and she was 14. And then we broke up when I was about to turn 17 and she just turned 15.

1:32:30 Drew Have you tried going to talk to the parents?

1:32:32 Caller And now we just got back together. Well, see, that's the other thing. We just got back together. She lives up in Wisconsin. Let's see, my family, the reason we broke up the first time is because we moved down to Cincinnati here.

1:32:45 Adam Right.

1:32:45 Caller Let's see, now we're moving back up there in two weeks.

1:32:48 Adam Okay.

1:32:49 Caller We have a moving truck and everything.

1:32:51 Adam Oh, if you got a truck, then it's a done deal.

1:32:53 Drew It's official, then.

1:32:54 Adam Okay. Listen, you guys will get back together. You got to sneak out. You got to come over to your house.

1:32:59 Drew Try spending time with those parents. Get them to trust you.

1:33:02 Adam I'm dancing around.

1:33:03 Caller He lives all over the country, too. So it doesn't really, you know, it's not like you can just like sneak up to a house because like the next closest house is like half a mile down the road.

1:33:11 Adam So the farmer will shoot at you with rock salt. Matthew, here's what I'm saying. If you're in love and it's meant to be, it'll work out fine. Don't try to fix everything with mom on one evening. Just mellow out, take it slow, stick around and it'll work its way out. That's how parents are. They always hate whoever's having sex with their daughter initially, but if the guy hangs out and he's cool and he doesn't get in any trouble, she'll be fine with it. We'll be back. All right, well, there you go, another fantabulous Loveline episode. I want to thank Afro Man for coming in here. The Good Times is the name of the CD, out August 28th, and also you can find them on the James Silent Bob Strike Back soundtrack, which is currently out. Thanks, Afro Man.

1:34:25 Afroman Thank you.

1:34:26 Adam Nice meeting you.

1:34:26 Afroman All right, yes.

1:34:27 Adam Kevin Smith, in Tomorrow Night, and until next time.

1:34:30 Drew More about this movie tomorrow.

1:34:32 Adam I'm going to find out why it got cut. So until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying Mahala.

1:34:38 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station.

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Monday, August 13, 2001