Episode 1000754886743

1:12 Hey, hey, hey, hey!

1:15 Voiceover Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. It's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew. Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist. He's outraged at CBS.

1:29 Drew Not CBS so much, but go ahead, keep going. Oh, look at that. Look at this.

1:34 Adam He's outraged that the Emmy Awards did not go off tonight.

1:38 Drew I'm outraged that they canceled it because a few pussies were afraid to stand up in public in a time like this.

1:44 Adam Hold on a second, Drew. We'll get to your passion in just one second.

1:47 Drew I just had a cream puff for the entire Clare.

1:49 Adam Who made those cream puffs?

1:50 Drew Tara, don't call me Tara's mom.

1:51 Adam Really? Why? Any time there's war, in time of war, she bakes.

1:58 Drew It's Tara's 21st birthday at midnight tonight.

2:00 Adam Oh, it is? So, they give out the cream puffs, huh? Very nice. All right, tonight we have a couple of very beautiful, beautiful young women from Roswell. That is, of course, Tuesday night, so it's coming up, yeah, Tuesday, right?

2:19 Drew Yeah, that'll be Tuesday.

2:20 Adam I did the math there. Majandra Delfino's here and Shiri Appleby. Majandra was on the show before, right? Yep. And Diane Farr played her mom? Yes. Yes. Anne told me that.

2:33 Drew I was going to say, you didn't remember that. Somebody told you that.

2:36 Adam No, I said, who's Diane Farr? No. No, I didn't say that.

2:40 No.

2:41 Adam Drew gets a kick out of that because it's partially true. But Diane used to be our beautiful brown haired sidekick on Love Line.

2:49 Drew The TV.

2:50 Adam Yeah, Love Line, the TV show.

2:52 Drew You worked with her for three years.

2:53 Adam Oh, two, please. So what's Roswell in? Is this the third season?

2:58 Guest Yep.

2:59 Adam And it's going strong or at least strong enough that you're doing more.

3:03 Guest Strong enough that we're doing more.

3:04 Adam How many more are you doing?

3:06 22 this season.

3:07 Guest If things go well.

3:09 Adam Have you, how many of those 22 of you completed?

3:13 I think we're on six now.

3:14 Guest Yeah. Yeah, we got a long way to go.

3:16 Adam Oh, and you've already, but the one you did first is already been, already aired. I mean, they're airing as you're doing them.

3:22 Drew Airing Tuesday.

3:23 Guest Starting on Tuesday.

3:24 Adam Right. Okay.

3:25 Guest Get it on, Adam.

3:26 Drew Get it, get it.

3:27 Adam I can't figure anything out because we do all of our episodes basically and then they start airing.

3:33 Drew Let me interpret. He works on a show called The Man Show. They do all of their episodes before they air.

3:38 Adam Right. Not we. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Drew. I know you're not on TV. I didn't mean to bring that up. Drew's mad because they kicked him off of TV and I remain on TV. I remain a force on television.

3:50 Guest What do you mean you weren't willing to do a show about like the boobs and stuff?

3:53 Drew And trampolines and things. So I do little morning show, Good Morning America and network NBC show, things like that. I would kick off cable. I feel bad about it.

4:02 Adam He didn't have the range to talk about erectile dysfunction and then make the move to boob jobs like I was able to.

4:10 Drew Appearance of boob jobs on train of thought.

4:12 Guest That's right. All out drinking some beer.

4:14 Adam That's right. That's on television, the man show. That's Jesse Ventura.

4:18 Absolutely. All right.

4:20 Adam It's on tonight, by the way. So, Roswell on Tuesday at 9 o'clock. Man show on tonight. Any questions you guys want to ask me?

4:27 Drew Well, no, no. Get your business out of the way. They have 60 more episodes to film. So, therefore, go ahead, Adam.

4:33 Adam So, therefore...

4:34 Drew You have to ask for an opportunity to appear on their show.

4:36 Adam Oh, yes. I'd like to be on your show.

4:38 Guest Would you like to be our love interests? Either one of ours?

4:42 Adam No, both. That's good.

4:43 Guest Both? Oh, juicy storyline.

4:46 Adam I know.

4:47 Guest I may have to bring that up.

4:49 Adam Yeah, that'd be good. You guys fight over me.

4:51 Guest Okay.

4:52 Adam All right.

4:52 Guest On a trampoline?

4:53 Adam Yeah.

4:55 Guest Okay.

4:55 Adam You know, the man show.

4:56 Guest I love that.

4:57 Adam All right. Yeah. See if you can weave me in. I'd like to do some legitimate acting. All right. I'm on it. And I got more range and people give me credit for it. Right, Drew?

5:06 True.

5:07 Adam All right. The world is your oyster. Listen to this. I mean, because that's all the world is. Right. Now, listen to this. Seriously, listen to this. Watch this. Drew, can you act this way, man? It's like, I don't even know you.

5:21 Drew Man?

5:22 Adam Man? Oh, don't. You screwed my man up. Did you guys get the idea with I don't even know you stuff, right?

5:27 Drew Yeah.

5:27 Adam All right. Okay.

5:29 Drew We got it. I was very impressed. Do you want to talk about the world situation for a second here?

5:32 Adam Oh, yeah. Let's do that. Because it's gay porn in the late 70s. Go ahead.

5:38 Drew I just, my first love of Outrage is just I spoke outdoors next to the Shrine Auditorium today and then I went to Disneyland. The point being that people should be, people that talk publicly and who give opinions and occasionally talk about politics have an obligation to stand up and go about their business.

5:55 Adam What were you doing at the Shrine Auditorium?

5:57 Drew I was giving a talk at SC. They had a big health thing and they had a big stage set up outside there and I can't talk. But the point is, I stand in public in a big crowd. I'm not, a little bit of fear, but you know what? It's my job to go do that if I stand in the public sector.

6:10 Adam Well, what do you think people didn't want to take the stage for fear they'd be hit with a sniper's bullet?

6:16 Drew This was the report that several celebrities did not want to go out and be in a congregated, yeah, this was the report.

6:22 Guest They felt it endangered them.

6:24 Drew And I thought, what a bunch of pussies. I mean, I really was angry because if these are, these are the same people that shoot their mouth off about politics all the time, too.

6:31 Adam Right.

6:32 Drew Hey, go ahead and stand up and stand behind your words. That's fine.

6:35 Adam Well, what are they, well, but what are their words? I mean, their words are, they're pussies in words, too. They're the ones that say we should apologize and not do anything.

6:45 But they're constantly commenting on everything.

6:47 Guest And how we need to retaliate and blah, blah, blah.

6:49 Drew Whatever their point of view is, if you're a public person and you have offering points of view, your job is not to hide out and make yourself extra safe. You know what I mean? Your job is to stand up when the bullets are whizzing, too.

7:03 Adam I agree.

7:04 Drew I think it's really, really lame to do anything short of that.

7:08 Adam Yeah, I didn't know that they canceled it because the celebrities or talent were fearful.

7:13 Drew Didn't that piss you off? I mean, get past the fact that you're happy for them that it was canceled.

7:18 Adam I'm happy for the people that had to do the show tonight, the singers, the dancers, all the technical people.

7:23 Drew The fact that people didn't have to work.

7:25 Adam Everyone who got to go home on Sunday and watch CNN, I'm so happy for them. I can't get over my anger for the celebrities who didn't want to stand up. But here's the deal. Was that the only reason?

7:35 Drew No, there are some practical reasons.

7:37 What is it different? Insurance-wise, they wouldn't be able to have, they couldn't, you know, safety.

7:41 Drew No, it boiled down to, well, no, it boiled down to the fact that there's going to be a lot of news break-ins and it's sort of an awkward time to have a show.

7:48 Adam That's what I figured it was.

7:49 Drew Well, and I understand that. If that's what had been the reason, I'd be fine with it.

7:54 But people bowed out before.

7:56 Drew The reason it went from go to no-go was people were not showing up.

8:00 Guest Let somebody tell you for reasons we're going to stop it, but don't be the person to be like, hey, even if you go, I'm not going to go.

8:06 Adam Yeah, but they're going to put their spin on it now. All the publicists are going to get involved and say that, you know, David Duchovny has a second cousin who's not been activated yet, but...

8:17 Drew I want to spend his last hours with him at dinner and something like that.

8:20 Adam Yeah, there's going to be all that stuff.

8:21 Guest They haven't done that yet.

8:22 But also the arguments have made that maybe not a lot of these celebrities feel comfortable being the celebrity in this type of limelight when something like this is going on in the world. Maybe they're just feeling like it is a little bit of a superficial act to be going out and prancing around in the outskirts.

8:34 Drew I'm sure there is some of that.

8:35 Because I can understand that part of the video.

8:36 Adam Let's focus on the negative.

8:39 That's more interesting for you, isn't it?

8:42 Adam There's a handful of positive people that ruin it for all the negative people we'd like to criticize. So let's not focus on that. Let's really focus on the pussy factor.

8:50 Drew There are legitimate reasons. I absolutely agree with you. And if those had been all that surfaced, I'd be like fine. But what surfaced rather rapidly was these stories about people dropping out and not going to be in public, not going to congregate. I'm going to Disneyland. You know what I mean? I'm going to go out on business.

9:05 Adam And Drew, you're the biggest wuss of all. All I hear from you is anthrax and food storage. I mean, you're pure puss.

9:12 Drew No, not pure puss.

9:13 Adam You're about three-quarter puss.

9:15 Drew Three-quarter, half puss. But even a half puss stands up when it's time to stand up. You know what I'm saying?

9:19 Adam You got more puss in you than Cher has American Indian in her. Wouldn't you say?

9:25 Drew Yeah. That's not much.

9:27 Adam That's true. But it's still what gives you your puss-assity. I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore. Yeah, I'm fine. Drew's, Drew, but seriously, the difference between me and you and this is I'm not sure what's going on and you're freaked out. And if Drew and his freaked out puss-assity, anxious as I am, can go to Disneyland because his kids have not been in almost four working days and what is that, six calendar days? This is an outrage. Drew's kids, Drew's actually, the tunnel will be completed from your house to the Disneyland parking lot any day now.

10:04 Drew We call it a tunnel.

10:04 Adam A tunnel. Until then, he has to cater them, has to drive them with the car. But Drew's kids go to, Drew, seriously, how many times has this kid been to Disneyland this year? 15? They stay in the hotel. They stay in the hotel and they're not coming from Florida. They live in this city. That's hardcore. You're 40 minutes away by the freeway. You stay at the hotel for three days?

10:27 Caller I went to Disneyland the other day. Did you go to the California Adventure?

10:30 Drew Yeah, I was there just minutes ago.

10:30 Caller Did you like it?

10:32 Drew Yeah, I mean, it's, you know.

10:33 Caller I just didn't...

10:34 Adam Did they got it?

10:35 Drew It's not like Disneyland.

10:36 Caller I didn't like it at all.

10:37 Adam Well, where are you from?

10:39 Caller I'm in California.

10:40 Adam Yeah, well, so you passed all of it on the way there, right? You know what I mean? Like, why do you have to see the same thing over again?

10:48 Caller Because it's Disneyland.

10:50 Guest The point is, people from other places find California...

10:53 Drew Yeah, you live here.

10:55 Adam You see it.

10:55 Drew It's some roller coasters, and it's that Soarin thing. That Soarin thing made me cry.

10:59 There was one Hollywood guy that made me cry.

11:01 Adam What were you talking about here? What about these pussy actors?

11:05 Drew Yeah, don't you agree with me, though? Doesn't that piss you off?

11:08 Adam I do, but I know, Drew, you like to cling on to things and run wild with them. I'm sure this is a small fringe of this group.

11:16 Drew You really did get me, because I really think this is a time when people who are in the public sector need to stand up and stand up, if that's what it takes.

11:25 Adam All right, good.

11:26 Drew And to stand up and be strong, oh, these are two pussies.

11:28 Adam Yeah, I'd like to hit that.

11:30 Drew Even if this is an animal stand up.

11:31 Adam Who's that? Dharma. Who plays Dharma in Dharma Grey? Yeah, but strap some TNT to her and send her into a cramp. All right, what is her name? Jena Elfman. Jena Elfman. And what happened? Did her publicist die? How come we don't hear anything about her anymore? What happened with her? All right. Chris, do you guys hate Jena Elfman too? She seems like a pain in the ass at Jena Elfman.

11:52 Guest I don't really have any thoughts about her.

11:54 Adam That's how we should all be. That's my point exactly. No one should know her name. She's a crappy sitcom. Nobody should know who she is.

12:01 I don't know her either.

12:02 Adam Chris, do you know Jena Elfman?

12:04 No.

12:04 Adam Good. Good. My plan's working. Go ahead.

12:08 Joe, today is my birthday.

12:10 Drew Happy birthday, Chris.

12:10 Great. Yeah, whatever. What's up? Well, also, like to say, I'm from New Mexico, so I know all about the Roswell thing. Oh, right, right.

12:21 Adam Good tie-in.

12:23 Yeah, I just moved here, actually, to Oregon this year, so, yeah, I know all about the aliens and all that stuff.

12:29 Guest Oh, you know all about the Roswell thing.

12:31 Drew Thus, you know the Roswell thing. Okay, what's up?

12:34 Yeah, well, I guess I'm having a hard time, like, masturbating. When I masturbate, I can't, I come, you know?

12:42 Drew We know when the aliens leave behind those little things in your neck, those little plants and things. It's not one of the side effects is ejaculatory failure.

12:50 Yeah, that might do it.

12:52 Drew You're having trouble when you masturbate?

12:54 Yeah.

12:55 Drew All the time.

12:56 Oh, yeah, I really never have come before, like, by myself.

13:02 Drew By yourself.

13:03 Yeah, like in a way, you might have it, but, like, by myself.

13:06 Adam All right. I think you're 15. It's not ready to go yet.

13:09 Drew Yeah, sometimes the sort of system isn't charged up yet. Are you on a medication?

13:13 No, no, nothing. But I mean, I can feel it. But and like I talked to my friend about it, he says, we'll just kind of like, like use your fingers and kind of like push it up.

13:22 Drew And you'll figure it out. Listen, let Adam tell you his story. Come on, come on.

13:27 Adam No, no, no. Not in this time of tragedy. I can I can. I have I made a pledge not to talk about masturbation for 18 minutes.

13:37 Drew All right. So I'll talk about it. He was Adam was Chris's age.

13:40 Adam It's so humiliating in front of these beautiful women.

13:43 Oh, please.

13:45 Guest We watch the man show.

13:47 Drew Now they want to know.

13:48 Adam This is reality, though.

13:49 Drew And so and so he's 16 and Adam still hasn't produced yet. And one of his friends found that out and became outraged and handed him an electric toothbrush. Those vibrate and they vibrate a little bit. The handle does the old ones told him told them to hold these before all this newfangled ultrasound and they told him to hold that against his penis and go in the bathroom and don't come out until something comes out of you. And that's what he did. That's how he produced his first specimen.

14:13 Guest Thank God. I thought it was going to be bad.

14:16 Adam It was kind of humiliating if you just picture me at 16 with like a big zit and a nappy hair and I'm sitting on the toilet.

14:23 Guest Then all you have to say is me at 16.

14:26 Adam With electric toothbrush on my genitalia. That's somewhat humiliating.

14:31 Guest What do you say? Yeah, but you know.

14:32 Caller It's bad, right?

14:34 Drew They were okay with it, Adam, until you really painted it.

14:36 Guest I know. I'm like, God, you're right.

14:38 Adam About every 15 minutes, my buddy Chris bang under. What's going on? How's it going?

14:43 Guest The pressure not helping.

14:44 Adam It was going good until you banged on the door. Yeah. Yeah. I was a late bloomer, not like Drew. You know, Drew started at nine. Nine.

14:54 Drew No, please.

14:55 Adam Scott.

14:57 Drew Scott's 29. Scott. Scott, are you there?

15:03 Adam All right. Why don't we bother talking to anybody? Mike, is there any chicks? Oh, you want to talk to Jennifer? Jennifer?

15:10 Yeah.

15:11 Adam You're 19?

15:12 Caller Yes, I am.

15:12 Adam What's up?

15:14 Caller First off, let me just say hi to everybody there. That's Drew and Adam and everybody there. Call me from New York and I just want to let everybody know everything in New York is fine.

15:23 Good.

15:24 Drew Are you in Manhattan or you?

15:26 Caller No, I'm from the Bronx.

15:27 Drew In the Bronx? Yeah. It must still, when I did hear about these people staying home, I thought, boy, the ones from New York, I can understand you'd still feel pretty vulnerable. I mean, you're still trying to get over the shock of the whole incident.

15:38 Caller Oh, yeah, definitely. Every time I hear a car alarm, I'm like, I'm about to jump in.

15:42 Drew I bet.

15:43 Caller But I've been going traveling to Manhattan, and to me, actually, it seems like everything's still almost the same. Like, everybody's starting to go wild, going to Broadway shows and everything. But, you know, everybody's still a little jumping once in a while. But anyway, let me tell you my deal. I've been going on with my boyfriend for four years, and lately we've been having kind of problems, and I haven't seen him for about a week, and I've been consoling with my best friend. He's also a guy. I've also been with him for like maybe five, six years.

16:11 Drew I think, somehow I think you already lost me. Huh? State that again.

16:15 Adam Going out with her boyfriend.

16:17 Drew For how long?

16:18 For four years?

16:19 Caller Yeah.

16:20 Drew And then there was another friend?

16:21 Caller Yeah, my, just my best friend.

16:23 Drew Your girlfriend?

16:24 Caller No, a guy.

16:25 Adam Six years she's been friends with him, right?

16:27 Drew But not romantically involved.

16:28 Caller No.

16:29 Drew All right.

16:29 Adam Well, she's getting to that.

16:30 Drew OK, here we go.

16:31 Caller And, you know, he's been consoling me and everything about all the stuff that we were going through.

16:37 Drew What have you been going through?

16:39 Caller We've just been, me and my boyfriend have been arguing and stuff like that. And, you know, and he's been arguing, and my boyfriend's been arguing also with his parents. And, you know, he's just going through a rough time now.

16:49 Drew Why?

16:50 Caller Why? He's been arguing with his parents?

16:52 Drew What makes this time rough for him?

16:53 Adam He's been arguing.

16:55 Caller Well, he's had sort of an anger problem since he was younger. His father left him and everything, and he just had that anger with him, you know, since then. And like his parents are going, you know, they're just, you know, like regular parents.

17:12 Adam You never get an answer. His parents are older than him, and you know, eight minutes later, where are you? Where are you?

17:23 Drew What's happening now?

17:24 Adam You know what? Listen, asking someone who calls this goddamn show a question like that is like asking some old miner by the side of the road, how do I get to the fill-in? So you go right, right, right, right, and then you stop. And then where are you after you make the four rides? You're standing exactly where you were, except for it took the guy ten minutes to explain it to you. That is this show in a nutshell. Do not talk to the people who call this show. Jennifer?

17:51 Caller Bottom line is he has a bad temper, okay? Like anything will get him pissed off.

17:56 Adam Right. And you've been with this guy since you were like 15?

17:59 Caller Exactly.

18:00 Adam All right. That sounds like enough. I've heard enough. Break up. You shouldn't stick with the same guy you've been with since the 10th grade.

18:08 Drew 10th grade.

18:09 Guest Especially if he's aggressive.

18:10 Adam 9th grade.

18:11 Caller Anger problems?

18:13 Guest Yeah.

18:13 Caller No good.

18:14 Adam All right.

18:15 Drew And again, it's this age old problem that people your age have, which is you don't know when a relationship is over, and worse yet, you don't know how to end it, even if you did know it was over. And something that should have ended in two weeks can easily go on two years.

18:28 Adam All right. So that's enough. And you like this guy who's consoling you?

18:32 Caller Um, I like him, but I haven't felt those kind of feelings for him. He's feeling those feelings for me, but...

18:39 Adam Yeah, that's why. He's being nice to you.

18:41 Drew Yeah, but she's got a thing too, no doubt, with an abusive dad or something.

18:44 Adam I don't know. What? No.

18:46 Drew Oh, let's watch.

18:49 Adam She's thinking of breaking up with the guy. Is your dad a jackass?

18:52 Caller Do you want to break up with him?

18:53 Caller No, I don't want to break up with him. Why not?

18:57 Guest But wait, is he violent?

18:58 Caller No, he's not violent with me. Like he'll get a temper and he'll just walk away because he doesn't want anything.

19:03 Caller Why are you staying with him? What are you getting from him that you're staying with him for all this?

19:07 Caller He's been like that for the whole four years. That's the thing. Me and his parents are trying to get him some help and everything. That's the thing.

19:13 Caller You're 19.

19:14 Drew Well, that's funny about her dad.

19:16 Adam What about your dad?

19:17 Caller I don't even know. I haven't met my dad.

19:19 Drew There you go.

19:20 Caller That's usual in the Bronx.

19:22 Drew Well, but that's what creates. Did you know him when you were a little baby, a little kid?

19:26 Caller No.

19:26 Drew Never know him?

19:27 Caller No.

19:27 Drew Did you have a stepfather or anything like that?

19:29 Caller No.

19:29 Drew Did you have any male figures around growing up?

19:32 Caller No, only my older brothers, but that's about it.

19:34 Drew But again, when you've been abandoned by dad, it makes you cling towards abandoning kinds of figures. And the abandonment can be an emotional experience, not necessarily a physical abandonment, just him being emotionally abandoned is something that sort of digs you in deeper. You have to break that.

19:50 Adam Well, look, I'm not dating the guy, but when I hear anger management issues and I hear about 19 and you have no kids, it's not like you're living with a guy and you got a mortgage and four kids and you got to fight to keep this thing going and you run a business together. When you hear about anger management and you've been with a guy for four years and you're 19, just call the life with this guy. Go off to college somewhere, meet some new guy.

20:14 Drew She's going to find another... She's got a nice guy, but it doesn't create romantic feelings because attraction for her is triggered by these abandoning figures.

20:21 Adam Yeah, I like... and the poor sap is trying to...

20:24 Drew Oh, he's totally into her...

20:25 Adam .put the pieces together. And his strategy is, this guy's such an a-hole...

20:30 Drew I'll be extra nice.

20:31 Adam I'll be extra sugary, sacchariny nice...

20:34 Guest Yeah...

20:34 Adam .and that'll win her over to me. In reality, that's the reason why she ain't into you.

20:39 Guest Yeah.

20:39 Adam She'd like to be the kind of person who's into the wussy guy like Drew over here, but not. And I make fun of Drew, but he's a passionate, passionate man when it comes to the ladies. He's passionate. Passionate. He's got enough passion for the both of you. Uh-oh. And some still for me. Oh.

20:56 Guest Yeah.

20:57 Drew I'll save some for you, honey.

20:58 Adam It's just a handful. That's all I need. Scott?

21:01 Guest Party friend.

21:02 Adam I use it for lube. I use Drew's passion for lube. Do you understand that, Scott?

21:07 Guest Yeah.

21:08 Adam It's like a water-soluble lube, Drew's passion.

21:11 Drew Scott?

21:13 Guest Yeah. How you doing? I like your show. I listen to it all the time.

21:17 Adam Thank you. You watch at Roswell this Tuesday, too.

21:20 Guest I'll try to do that.

21:21 Adam Please. Please. Yes. Go ahead.

21:24 Guest Okay. I'm calling because my girlfriend and I, we've been together for about three years. And in the past year, I've had a problem with heroin. And I've been using since the beginning of the, actually the first day of the first month of this year.

21:40 Drew What were we taking before this year?

21:43 Guest Actually, I just quit on drinking. I've been drinking since age of 12. Okay.

21:46 Drew So you're an alcoholic and switched over to heroin. Were you using pot too?

21:50 Guest When I was a young teenager.

21:52 Drew So, so it's really been alcohol until you switched over to heroin?

21:55 Guest Yeah.

21:55 All right.

21:56 Guest And I've tried methadone actually five times and it never really worked for me.

22:02 Drew Methadone is just such a disaster. I know that it's got a popular trend right now, but I gotta tell you, it is a disaster.

22:07 Adam You've always hated that methadone.

22:09 Drew I hate methadone.

22:11 Guest And it's caused my girlfriend and I, we're not even speaking now, and she started thinking I was using her, and I really wasn't, but...

22:19 Drew Well, but Scott, it is in fact the losses that accumulate from addiction that ultimately get people to change, to do the work they need to do to get well. And she may be giving you a gift by leaving. It gets what gets your attention and gets you into treatment, it keeps you in treatment.

22:35 Guest Yeah, that's true. I see. I've lost a relationship after five years. I have two daughters from a previous relationship.

22:41 Drew That was alcohol though. Yeah.

22:44 Guest And right now I'm just trying to figure out the best way to get off of this completely where I don't have to. So I've checked into different programs and without having medical insurance, they won't let you in.

22:54 Drew All right. All right. You see you have no insurance. How much are you using right now?

23:00 Guest About a gram a day.

23:01 Drew Okay.

23:01 Adam How much is that?

23:02 Drew That's an average. Is that average?

23:04 Guest Talking about costing?

23:05 Drew No, no, no. No, he just wants to know sort of relatively or using a lot or a little. That's what most heronetics use around that much.

23:12 Adam How much does that cost?

23:13 Guest It's about $50.

23:14 Drew Yeah.

23:15 Adam That's it?

23:16 Guest $50 a day.

23:16 Drew $50 a day.

23:18 Adam I could do that easily now. And Coke, Coke I was going to get into because it was like 30 a gram. I can do them both, I think. I think I could afford it. I got to talk to my counter.

23:28 Drew $80 a day.

23:29 Adam Well, I got to call Tony tomorrow to see if I can afford that.

23:32 Drew Alright, so $50 a day. You need to be in a program, you're going to need to be there probably about three months and you need to be somewhere who can medically detox you also. Most, I'm trying to think, you're not a veteran, are you? I'm sorry? Are you a veteran of anything? No, I'm not.

23:47 Adam Anything.

23:48 Drew Well, I mean, you've been in the service for a while.

23:51 Adam Yeah, too bad. Listen, all you losers who aren't going to college should go into the military. You do three or four years, they boot you out of there and you have health insurance for the rest of your life. It's great. It's great.

24:06 Yeah.

24:07 Adam Drew, what are you going to do with this guy? You want to talk to him off the air?

24:11 Drew No, let me just, because I don't know of any county-funded beds off in that area. You might try in Pasadena Impact House.

24:17 Guest It's called Impact?

24:18 Drew Yeah, or North Hollywood, a place called Cry Help.

24:21 Adam Wait a minute, that's my dad's house.

24:23 Drew I hope not.

24:24 Guest Basically, what I've heard you saying a lot recently when you talk to a heroin addict or you talk about heroin addicts, you mention that it's basically, they never stop, it's over, it's basically a slow wait, and then they die.

24:36 Drew Well, they die if they don't get treatment, but heroin addicts have the most miraculous recovery of any addicts when they recover, but it has the highest recidivism because it brings you down so hard and when people get well they're so grateful and they do so well. But I call Impact or Cry Help, Cry Help is in North Hollywood, Impact is in passing, they have county funded beds occasionally and maybe you can get something going that way.

24:58 Adam Alright, well it's a good thing we're spending all the money on the drugs there.

25:03 Drew On the military.

25:04 Adam Well, I mean, we spent so much money on...

25:07 Drew On protecting a drug thing.

25:08 Adam Yeah, seems like we should just work a little harder on the rehab side.

25:12 Drew Oh, yeah.

25:13 Adam There's more better money spent on that side.

25:17 Drew Yeah.

25:18 Adam What did you think?

25:18 Drew Oh, yeah.

25:19 Adam This guy's buying it for 50 bucks. He's getting it every day. How big a dent is that going to put in his habit? I mean, what would it be?

25:27 Drew If we're $100, I mean?

25:28 Adam Yeah. No, what would it be if it was $10?

25:31 Drew Yeah, yeah.

25:32 Adam He still gets it. I mean, he gets it at 50, he gets it at 10, he gets it at 100. That's the whole part about being addicted. Now, if it was 100, we get more of our car stereos ripped off. That's basically what it translates into. But it's 50, so it's kind of moderate. Listen, I hope it goes down. I get to hang, my property insurance goes down when drugs go down. I wish heroin was, you know, five bucks and Coke was five bucks a kilo because then they wouldn't have to bust into your house and steal your crap to fund their drug.

26:05 Guest All right.

26:06 Adam We're talking about Roswell tonight. We're talking about also launching a little little offensive attack on some of our enemies out there in the world. And Drew still whipped up about the pussy actors, the so-called pussy actors over there, canceling out on the gram. I mean the Emmys tonight. We'll take a little break. We'll be right back. Hey, everybody. Love Line. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Majandra Delfino and Shiri Appleby are both here. Roswell is the name of the show. Tuesday night, 10 o'clock. Nine o'clock, sorry, nine o'clock to ten o'clock. Yes, one hour. I would have caught myself. You give me just another pigeon's heartbeat on that. UPN, everybody. All right, so what goes on on this Tuesday? I mean, how much can we give away? Or not give away?

27:16 I don't know.

27:18 Guest Yeah, I don't know. I mean, if anybody's been watching, it's Max and Liz.

27:24 Caller It's Get Back Together. Me and my boyfriend, we get back together.

27:28 Caller I told you.

27:30 Caller It gets hot and heavy.

27:31 Good.

27:32 Caller Yeah.

27:32 Guest Oh, yeah. It gets hot and heavy. And a cute couple.

27:36 Yeah.

27:37 Adam And then I'm going to make an appearance later on in the season.

27:40 Guest That's our love interest. We want you to know that.

27:44 Adam That's right.

27:45 Guest That's just between us.

27:46 Adam That's right.

27:47 Guest I'm noticing here you have Deal With It.

27:50 Adam Yeah. What?

27:51 Drew What's that?

27:51 Guest The book Deal With It right there. It's like about young 14 year old girls. And.

27:55 Adam Oh, it is?

27:56 Guest And how they through puberty.

27:57 Adam What is? Where is that?

27:58 Drew Down there in the bottom of the.

27:59 Guest I will tell everyone that.

28:00 Adam That this one?

28:00 Guest Adam owns Deal With It.

28:02 Drew No, no. We've never seen that. So let's see it.

28:03 Guest OK, OK.

28:05 Drew Covering each other.

28:06 Guest I know. They're like, I didn't know how I got.

28:08 Drew Oh, this is. Oh, this was my thing.

28:09 Adam Someone may have sent that to us. Is that yours?

28:11 Drew This is girl.com. Yeah. When I was at an Internet company, we were doing some stuff with them.

28:16 Adam All right. There you go. You read that book?

28:18 Drew I'm familiar with it.

28:19 Guest No, but they were like trying to get right a lot of people to buy it, and there was like hype over it.

28:25 Adam Oh, there was.

28:25 Guest Because it talked about like real crazy things.

28:28 Adam Right.

28:29 Drew Stuff like this show talks about. We had the women on. There were three women from New York. Remember this?

28:33 Adam Oh, yeah.

28:34 Drew We had them on the show.

28:35 Adam Yeah.

28:36 Drew That's when they brought this up two and a half years ago.

28:38 Guest They had some really great things in there.

28:39 Drew He's been sitting here for two and a half years.

28:41 Guest If you give that to a boy, he will never like a girl again.

28:44 Adam I always yell, I don't trust people who make a living out of giving other people advice, and then people say, well, don't you make your living that way? And then I go, oh, yeah. And then I'm embarrassed, so I'm not going to say anything. I always go, yeah, but still. Which is my way of saying you're right, but I'm not going to admit it.

29:00 Guest And you have nothing to follow the still.

29:01 Adam Yeah. No, it works good. They go, I don't trust people that preach to other people about how to live. Isn't that what you do for a living? Yeah, but still. See, it makes me right again. Of course. It's come around, and you can't argue with yeah, but still.

29:15 Drew Yeah, but it's kind of like.

29:16 Guest Yeah, but it's different.

29:17 Drew It's kind of like I'm serious. Yeah, but it's sort of a Trump.

29:22 Adam No, I'm serious.

29:23 Drew It's another Trump. It's another like, hey, cut it out.

29:25 Adam All right. Drew, give me that book back now, Drew. You're all distracted. Go ahead, Kyle.

29:35 Guest Yeah.

29:36 First of all, I want to say, Adam, your intelligence is stunning compared to Dr. Drew.

29:42 Adam Thank you. Yes, but still.

29:44 The girls from Roswell, just hot, hot, hot.

29:47 Guest Oh, thank you.

29:48 Adam True, true, true.

29:49 Guest You're right.

29:50 Drew, your passion is so amazing. But I'll get to the point.

29:55 Guest It's like a lubricant.

29:58 Drew What's left over is used as a lubricant. I just took a quote, Adam. That's right.

30:01 Yeah. It's a master, anyway. My girlfriend, after every time she has a period, she gets a yeast infection. Hmm. And her mom...

30:12 Drew Every time.

30:13 Every time. And her mom has the same thing, but her mom, I guess, it was linked to diabetes, I think.

30:20 Drew Is her mom a diabetic?

30:22 Yeah. I'm pretty sure that's what she told me.

30:24 Drew Well, that's a sort of classic cause of recurrent yeast infections.

30:27 Yeah. And well, she said she has no symptoms of diabetes.

30:33 Adam Yeah. So, what? Did you talk to your mom about this? Just cause that would be a good uncomfortable conversation?

30:40 No. I...

30:42 Adam Maxi Pad or Tampon? Which are you, Mrs. Connors?

30:45 OB.

30:45 Adam OB? You want me to have a look-see? You know, they say the apple don't fall too far from the tree. You know, so I've seen it already. So, you know what I'm saying?

30:55 Drew Kyle, recurrent yeast infections are terribly common. Very common. Are you having sex with your girlfriend?

31:02 Caller Um, I, well, it depends on how long the, the last, you know.

31:06 Adam The yeast infection last, you mean?

31:08 Caller Yeah, how long it last.

31:10 Drew Wait, let me ask the question again. Are you sexually active with your girlfriend?

31:13 Adam Yes.

31:14 Drew Yeah. I understand what the yeast has anything to do with it.

31:16 Guest Well, sometimes it will be sexually active.

31:18 Adam I can wait for the smoke to clear before it can enter the building.

31:22 Caller I actually heard that you can actually get a yeast infection in your mouth.

31:25 Drew Oh, sure. That's a, that's a common thing. But listen, don't worry, Kyle, you're not going to get that transmitted from her vagina to your mouth. That's not going to happen.

31:33 Adam Really? I think I got it on my pepe once.

31:35 Drew Oral thrush is from, yes, but...

31:38 Adam It's true. I thought I did.

31:41 Drew Oral thrush is from alterations in your immune system, like taking antibiotic, having AIDS, this sort of thing. Even sometimes the antidepressant medicine, things like that. But it's probably, Kyle, just that you may be introducing it. You can harbor it or even just having a penis can, you know, introduce stuff and change the environment in there. So, it is important that she make AIDS, make sure she's not diabetic, make sure she doesn't have polycystic ovarian disease, which could predispose her to a diabetes, make sure she's getting proper nutrition, and then realize that you could be sending something into her, and she may just have a very sensitive environment there, that just having sex causes it.

32:15 Adam All right, let's talk to Jade, who's 16. Jade?

32:18 Hi.

32:19 Adam Hey.

32:20 I was just asking, I want to ask Roswell, how is it like working on like a sci-fi show, because your character development is kind of different from like, just like a normal, on earth kind of show?

32:31 Caller Well, we sort of take the situations and just sort of take the point of what we're learning and then apply that to like the real emotions that you would feel at that age, and that's how you sort of make it feel normal.

32:40 Guest So when you're using a line like, one day you're going to get in a spaceship and leave me, you have to substitute it with a whole other emotion.

32:48 Adam Yeah.

32:48 Caller One day you're going to be single again.

32:51 Guest Yeah, exactly.

32:52 Drew Ranchero and drywall.

32:53 Guest Yeah, it's one of these days. Exactly.

32:56 Adam Hey, Jade, you interested in acting?

32:58 Yeah, actually kind of. That's really cool. Yeah, I love that show. It's awesome. Thank you. Also for Dr. Drew, I had a question. I've kind of been verbally and emotionally abused for a long time.

33:10 Adam You'll be a fine actress.

33:12 Drew By your parents?

33:13 Adam Great actress.

33:14 My parents always put me down stuff because of the traditional background because we're Indian.

33:19 Drew Indian.

33:20 Indian from India. Okay.

33:22 Adam Really? Did they cultured us a lot of putting down?

33:25 Oh, yeah.

33:26 Drew They're tough on their kids sometimes.

33:27 Adam They're? They want to be Excel in school and stuff?

33:30 No, I just do that for myself. They're more like you have to follow the religion and da-da-da. It's just like I can't, like technically I'm not supposed to shave my legs. They're not supposed to wear shorts. Just kind of gets out of hand.

33:41 Drew Are they abusive with this or they just intrude upon you? Not that there's a huge difference, but you understand what I'm saying?

33:49 Yeah, it's like everything I do is not good enough for her and she controls me like every little thing.

33:54 Drew It's controlling and then never good enough.

33:57 Yeah.

33:57 Drew Okay. Believe me, it's a kind of abuse, but it's a real specific kind.

34:01 Yeah, and it's just like, it's totally like I was...

34:04 Drew It's how you get an eating disorder basically.

34:06 Oh, really?

34:07 Drew Did you ever have an eating disorder?

34:08 No, no. I was suicidally depressed like two years ago and stuff, and now she wants me to stay in California for college. I'm a senior in high school.

34:16 Drew And you want to get out of here?

34:17 I need to get out.

34:18 Drew That's good. That's a good impulse.

34:19 Adam Yes, smart. But you're not going to Bangladesh, right? You're going to Humboldt, right?

34:25 No. I was thinking East Coast, like hopefully University of Tennessee. Good for you.

34:30 Adam You want to get out from underneath that curry curtain, as I like to call it.

34:36 Guest We'll try to convince them that it's more of an educational move than a I'm dying to leave the house move.

34:40 They won't take it.

34:41 Adam Oh, you're 16, you're senior, huh?

34:44 Caller Yeah.

34:44 Adam You skip a grade?

34:45 Caller Yeah.

34:46 Adam So you're good.

34:47 Caller Good.

34:47 Drew And you can get into Penn with that 16, huh?

34:49 Adam Jesus Christ.

34:50 Caller I don't know because that's my question was that I'm thinking of taking like deferring enrollment for a year because I won't be 18 until 2003 and they could technically pull me out of college because she would do something like that.

35:01 Guest Oof.

35:03 Caller You can get legally emancipated. Is that too strong?

35:06 Guest It's so hard.

35:07 Drew It's pretty hard to do that. You have to be able to prove a lot of stuff. So what's the question?

35:12 Caller Yeah, I was just wondering because I'm just thinking it's going to be weird. It's going to be really bad for her because I don't know. She can go insane sometimes. I don't want to hurt her, but at the same time, I'm going to hurt myself if I stay here. So I don't know. I just want an adult opinion because all my friends are like, yeah, just go for it.

35:29 Adam How about your dad? Is he way in here?

35:32 Caller Just as bad as her. Sometimes worse.

35:34 Adam Oh, really? Do you have any older brothers or family members?

35:38 Caller No, they're just as bad. Like my dad can go over the edge with some of the stuff he says.

35:42 Drew Well, here's what it sounds like. All I can tell is that you seem like you are assessing reality on realities terms and attempting to make very good, mature decisions. You're not impulsive. You're not hysterical. You're trying to plan properly and do it in a way that actually gets you to where you want to be.

36:00 Caller That's why I'm getting money and everything.

36:01 Drew Yeah, and you're willing to wait it out, which I can't give you it. I can't tell you what the best strategy is. You're going to have to decide that. It sounds like you're heading down the path of deferring and then going when you can and be free and clear. It sounds like the smart way to go.

36:17 Caller Okay.

36:18 Drew It sounds like you're playing it very, very smart and very, very appropriate.

36:23 It's sad, it's sad.

36:24 Adam I'm sorry your parents are horrible, but you're fine and you'll be fine.

36:28 Caller Thank you.

36:29 Adam And the further you get away from them, the more insane you'll know them to be. And then later on you'll do what I do. You'll take pity on them and lease them cars. That's what I do with my family now. I was angry. Now I take pity on my family.

36:42 Drew You lease cars for them, don't you?

36:44 Adam Yeah, I lease them for them, yeah. I lease them cars.

36:46 Drew Well, at least you offer them a car for lease.

36:49 Adam No, no, I pay for them, yes. I just had a discussion about my dad.

36:55 Guest He's a car salesman on the side.

36:56 Adam What he could be looking forward to in another six months when his lease comes up, his Q45.

37:02 Drew What are you going to do for him?

37:03 Adam I told him to start looking.

37:05 Drew For a new car?

37:06 Adam Yeah.

37:06 Drew Does you pay up?

37:08 Adam Of course. Doesn't everyone buy their parents' cars?

37:10 Drew That's nice.

37:11 Adam I got a deadbeat family.

37:12 Drew Was he ecstatic and euphoric and give you great praise and thanks?

37:17 Adam No.

37:17 Guest Of course not. Of course not.

37:22 Adam He was happy in his own way.

37:23 Guest Yeah.

37:24 Adam Yeah, he was. I just paid for his goddamn Philadelphia trip. Yeah, that's nice. It's not bad. They're not bad parents.

37:35 Guest But they don't want to be overjoyed because then that makes them look kind of...

37:39 Adam They're low-key folks. They're like a certain animal. You couldn't expect a sloth to jump up and down and act like a spider monkey, could you?

37:47 Drew I read an article about a guy whose father gave him a bill for his upbringing at the age of 20. Gave him a $2 million bill and said, here it is.

37:54 Adam Yeah, my dad hit me with that too.

37:57 Drew What?

37:57 Adam Well, it was $112. I was able to pay that.

38:00 Drew For a year now?

38:01 Adam Quite easily. Times 20. No, really. I swear. All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. We're talking about Roswell tonight, Tuesday nights. UPN, nine o'clock, everybody. The big premiere coming up in two days.

38:16 Caller Thank you.

38:17 Adam Thank you very much. We'll take a little break. We'll come back with Sarah's 15 after this.

38:22 Caller This is your radio.

38:29 Caller Hi.

38:29 Caller This is Dexter and Noodles from the Offspring. And you're listening to Love Line with that asshole Adam Corolla and that guy that's full of himself, thinks he always knows what he's talking about, Dr. Drew. I hate that guy. I could do better than that.

38:40 Adam It's Love Line. Settle down, you chatty cathies. Girls really whip it up soon as those mics heat up. It is Love Line. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. We're talking about Roswell tonight. Drew just got a page. What's the girl's autograph? Who wants that? Who page?

39:01 Drew Somebody works my office.

39:02 Really?

39:04 Guest He's shocked this one. He's like, Roswell?

39:07 Adam No, I'm shocked that they didn't page because Drew has a strict policy with his clients and office workers that they can only page during the goddamn show while the show is on the air. So I have to hear Drew's pager going off into the microphone. So I'm shocked. They must have mistimed it. It was probably about 30 or 45 seconds off.

39:27 Drew The bumper was on. The intro was on when the people went off.

39:31 Adam Yeah, so whoever paged Drew, I gotta say, you're about 40 seconds early. We did not hear the pager going off on the air. All right. Roswell, everybody. Tuesday nights, 9 o'clock, UPN, the big premiere coming up this Tuesday in a just scant couple of days. And Drew, you got the autograph pen ready there? I'm ready. All right. Take some calls. Sarah?

39:55 Yeah.

39:56 Adam You're 15?

39:57 Caller Yeah.

39:57 Adam What's up?

40:01 Caller My boyfriend, we've been dating for a couple of months, and he's always asking me if I want to sleep with him and stuff, and I want to, but I'm kind of scared.

40:12 Adam All right.

40:13 Drew How old is he?

40:14 Caller He's 14.

40:16 Drew She's 15.

40:17 Caller He's...

40:18 Drew Hang on. Ladies?

40:20 Guest No.

40:20 Caller Don't do it.

40:21 Guest Don't do it. Like, I have a great quote that Shiri's mom said, which what did she say about sex, which is so great, to a young girl. Like, if you do it too early, it can ruin it for life.

40:33 Caller If you have a bad experience for your first time, you're going to look at sex with a bad idea in your head. You need to be with someone that you can be comfortable with, so when you think about sex in the future, it's a positive thing.

40:43 Drew I've never met a woman that...

40:44 Adam That's not bad. My mom told my sister exactly the same thing. If you have sex too early, it'll ruin it for your life.

40:51 Caller You're not going to be comfortable.

40:52 Adam But she did add this caveat. Unless you run into someone like Italian or Puerto Rican, Stoad who bangs the bejesus out of you relentlessly later on in life and really brings you back to sex.

41:03 Guest Right.

41:03 Adam Someone with the passion of a guy like Drew. And Drew, you've been on a few of those missions where you actually had to bring someone back, bang them back to life.

41:11 I see.

41:13 Guest Yeah, you can't mess around with that because you'll ruin it for the rest of your life.

41:17 Adam It's an interesting point. I think a guy could bring you back. You get the right guy.

41:21 Drew Well, here's the funny thing about it.

41:22 Guest But it's different for girls.

41:23 Adam It's different.

41:24 Drew No, no. I agree.

41:25 Adam No, I don't mean a guy. I mean a guy can bring you back.

41:28 Guest But she shouldn't need to gamble that. It could not happen. She could not find him.

41:31 Drew And I rarely met a woman who wished she had had sex sooner in her life.

41:37 Caller You'll be so much more comfortable with your body and yourself that you'll be able to enjoy it instead of be afraid of it.

41:42 Drew I agree. There is good evidence that women before the age of 16, their brain development is such that men too...

41:48 Adam Development? They don't have a brain before 16. That's recorded in the data. I saw some data that suggested no.

41:54 Drew There's a lot emotionally and cognitively that needs to be managed when you have that kind of relationship with someone. Our brains are not prepared for that based on what we think about what people need in order to be healthy in that relationship.

42:06 Guest A guy who's pressuring you, forget about it.

42:08 Adam Hold on. He's probably on top of her now. Sarah? All right. There you go.

42:13 Caller Well, he's not here right now. He wasn't voicing, but the reason I'm so scared is because I was molested when I was-

42:19 Drew That's why you're considering it.

42:20 Guest That's why you're not too.

42:21 Drew That's why you're considering it.

42:22 Caller Do it for someone who is somebody that loves you, that's make you feel good about yourself.

42:26 Guest And someone who will wait.

42:28 Caller He said that if I wasn't ready, he would wait. No, no, no.

42:30 Caller Then you're not ready.

42:32 Adam That's fine. Well, he'll wait.

42:33 Drew He said he'll wait.

42:35 Adam I did the same thing and then I start looking at my watch and tapping my foot.

42:39 Caller Yeah.

42:40 Adam Are you ready?

42:41 Drew Tapping your fingers like this.

42:43 Adam Uh, 38, 39, 40 seconds now.

42:47 Caller I have a question for Dr. Drew.

42:48 Drew Here he is.

42:50 Caller Um, is it normal for a 15-year-old to have breast cancer?

42:55 Drew Normal?

42:55 Adam It's pretty average.

42:56 Drew Oh, every 15-year-old has that.

42:57 Adam Well, not every, but about 60 percent.

43:00 Caller Have you ever heard of a 15-year-old with breast cancer?

43:02 Drew I have not heard of that.

43:04 Caller Well, I found out on Thursday that I might have breast cancer.

43:07 Drew How did you find that out?

43:08 Caller Um, I went in for a breast exam.

43:10 Drew Yeah.

43:11 Caller And they told me that I had really lumpy breasts.

43:14 Drew Right, and lumpy breasts at 15 are normal.

43:16 Caller Well, I mean, she said it was, uh, had more lumps than, than an average 15-year-old.

43:21 Drew That's, that's, so what? That's fine. What does that have to do with breast cancer?

43:25 Caller Well, she, she told me I had to go in to get, uh, whatever they call it.

43:30 Drew An ultrasound?

43:31 Caller Yeah.

43:31 Drew Okay. She didn't say you have breast cancer. She said you need an ultrasound.

43:34 Guest Well, she's just being careful.

43:35 Drew The reason, when you have lumpy, when you have lumpy breasts, you can't feel tumors. So that's why you have to have the ultrasound done.

43:41 Adam Hey, Sarah. Who, who molested you?

43:44 Caller Um, my mom's nephew.

43:46 Adam Oh, her mom's nephew.

43:48 Drew Her sister's son.

43:49 Adam Watch, uh, don't, yeah. All right. Be careful that boyfriend of yours, don't get pregnant, don't have sex until you're ready. You don't have cancer.

43:57 Drew What kind of doctor were you seeing that said you had cancer?

44:00 Caller Um, it was just...

44:02 Adam Nobody said she had cancer.

44:04 Drew I know. That's why I want to get... What kind of doctor?

44:06 Caller It was at a walk-in clinic.

44:07 Drew Yeah. Okay. You don't have cancer. Just going at the ultrasound and... Lumpy breasts are normal at 15. Even very lumpy breasts.

44:14 Adam What's a walk-in clinic? You just going off the street? Just waiting line?

44:17 Drew You've had your breasts examined. You like that stuff, though.

44:21 Adam I have sensitive nipples. I'm not ashamed of that. Ladies, FYI, sensitive nipples.

44:28 Drew She freaked out, too, about that.

44:31 Adam It's not like I lick my own finger and rub them while I masturbate, although it's happened once when I had too much to drink.

44:44 Guest And the toothbrush embarrassed you.

44:46 Caller I see.

44:48 Adam I'm just saying, as a guy, just FYI. That's all, in case we do that episode.

44:55 Drew Oh, that's right. There needs to be a thematic focus for that episode.

45:01 Adam The good news is, there's two nipples, so there's plenty to go around.

45:04 Guest Perfect.

45:07 Adam You don't have to fight over my nipples, is what I'm saying.

45:09 Guest Thank God.

45:09 Adam There's one for each of you. That's right.

45:11 Drew Hey, Jesse. Jesse's 15. Jesse, what's up?

45:14 Caller I want to know what Adam Carolla's masturbation rate is.

45:18 Adam Listen, please, hold on. That's true. I don't need to talk any more about my personal life.

45:25 Guest Especially how much he hates. Yeah.

45:27 Adam It's really humiliating.

45:29 Drew It's time for break anyway. It is. Yes, it is.

45:32 Adam Drew masturbated to Thomas the Tank Engine once. It's true. When his kids were younger. Mike?

45:37 Caller Yeah.

45:37 Adam 29?

45:38 Caller Yeah. Thanks for taking my call.

45:40 Adam Sure. You smoke weed every day?

45:42 Caller Well, sure. Yeah. And I'm on a fixer, 150 milligrams. And they prescribed lithium.

45:52 Adam Right.

45:52 Caller And I'm taking 300 milligrams. Well, the prescription was to take 300 twice a day. Okay, Adam.

45:58 Drew You want me to take a little more?

45:59 Adam You're one of these smart guys who's just like effed up at the same time, right?

46:04 Caller I'm dumb, a man.

46:06 Adam No, no. You got like a high IQ, but you just got one of those low life IQ things.

46:11 Caller I'm just basically a low life, I guess.

46:13 Adam No, no. You're smart, but you can't get laid, right?

46:17 Guest That makes him a low life.

46:19 Caller I do okay.

46:20 Adam You do? Yeah. Okay. What do you do for a living?

46:23 Caller I'm a long-time girlfriend type person, perpetual student and business, or not business, but work in a cube.

46:29 Drew That's what you're picking up on.

46:30 Adam Right. Okay. Hold on, Mike. Hold on. Now, I got that high IQ, but low volume in his life.

46:38 Drew Low social skill.

46:40 Guest No, I just can't get a s**t out of what you're saying.

46:42 Drew I'm not so sure of the S word. Speaking of S, I'm radio. That's not a word we typically use.

46:47 Guest But like toothbrush to the balls is all right. Yes, it is.

46:50 Drew It is.

46:51 Guest Interesting.

46:52 Drew That's the insanity of the rules here.

46:54 Adam And hold on. How dare you? It was on my penis.

46:57 Guest Oh, I'm sorry.

46:57 Adam How dare you insinuate I put electric toothbrush on my testicles.

47:01 Drew How?

47:01 Guest I take that back.

47:02 Adam I'm sorry.

47:03 Drew We'll talk about this.

47:03 Adam You're not forgiven. Hey, the show's begun. Thank you. Yeah, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Majandra Delfino and Shiri Appleby are both here from Roswell. Tuesday night, nine o'clock, everybody. UPN, the big premiere is coming up this Tuesday. Do not miss it.

47:38 Caller It's gonna be great.

47:39 Adam It's gonna be awesome. I say better than great.

47:43 Caller Yeah.

47:44 Caller Are you gonna watch, Adam?

47:45 Adam I will.

47:45 Caller How many times have you seen it?

47:46 Drew Well, it's on when we're on the air here. He'll Tivo it.

47:50 Guest He's got to research, you know, for your big part.

47:54 Adam Oh yeah, that's right. Where I play the...

47:56 Guest Come on now.

47:56 Adam The man is obsessed with his own nipple pleasure.

47:59 Drew You'll have to instruct your production, your casting people that he doesn't do casting calls. No? No trials. Well, of course not.

48:06 Adam I don't audition, no.

48:08 Guest No, the part is offered out.

48:10 Adam Right, right.

48:11 Guest We've already given it to you here.

48:13 Adam That's what I'm saying. I don't audition. And it's served me well. I've done nothing.

48:17 Guest He totally gets like legal on us. It's like they swore.

48:21 Drew He was as good as a handshake.

48:23 Adam Yeah. You know, it was... I had a funny experience. I don't think I told... Did I tell you about this? Friday, I was supposed to have some... Oh, no, it was Thursday. I had a meeting for some movie that was going to be an audition.

48:38 Drew No, I didn't hear about this.

48:39 Adam You know the great part about not auditioning in this town? Is it freaks people out? They really want you to audition?

48:45 Guest Because they all know who he is.

48:46 Adam No, I just...

48:47 Guest Manjo, come on.

48:48 Adam No, I don't... Not because I have an attitude. Although it is because I have an attitude, though. No, that's true.

48:54 Caller But why...

48:54 Adam Well, here's why I don't audition. Because I'm busy enough. I don't really want to work.

49:00 Caller You don't?

49:00 Adam No. I mean, I work enough.

49:02 Caller Okay.

49:03 Adam That's the way I look at it. I make enough money. I'm interested in many other things that have nothing to do with showbiz. And as it is, I don't have enough time for that stuff.

49:12 Caller So then why even go to the general meetings? Why not just say?

49:14 Adam He doesn't. I never go anywhere. No, I don't. But once in a while, once in a while, they'll go, this is not an audition.

49:24 Caller This is a meeting.

49:25 Adam The producers really want to meet you. They're big fans. And they're like, you're coming. I'm not going to be a colossal prick and go, you know, tell them to F themselves. I'll go in and meet with someone who wants to meet. I just, I don't want to do, I'm not good at audition.

49:38 Guest I'm not going to get the part lines and start reading.

49:40 Adam Right. And then if I did get the part, I couldn't do it anyway, probably because of whatever schedule has to be. So I was actually, if you tell somebody you don't want to do an audition, then they get crazy and they have to have a meeting. And I drove all the way out to this god awful Santa Monica. And then about 10 minutes away, I got a phone call said, it's not a meeting. It's now an audition. Turn around, don't go in. I have my people are so freaked out, so I actually just turn around and went home. And Drew wanted to know why I wasn't outraged about that. I think when I talked to you on Thursday, did you say that?

50:15 Drew No, we're not going to talk about this.

50:17 Caller If you're on your way to the place and you're willing to go, why wouldn't you just audition?

50:21 Adam That's a good point.

50:22 Caller If you are trying to act or-

50:24 Guest He's not. I don't know.

50:26 Caller I understand that he's not trying to act, but if he's like going to be in that field, why not just do it?

50:30 Guest It's an inconvenience, though. It's not a bad-

50:33 Adam You make a decent point.

50:34 Drew He has very low self-esteem.

50:36 Adam Right.

50:36 Drew To sit in front of a group of people and do anything is extremely uncomfortable for him.

50:40 Caller But if he's going to film a movie, he would just-

50:41 Drew That's in front of a camera. That's just a camera.

50:43 Guest I wasn't- That's a people behind the camera. It's a done deal.

50:46 Drew Those aren't real people.

50:47 Adam I wasn't going to do the movie anyway, so that was the problem.

50:50 Guest He can't set himself up for rejection.

50:51 Drew You see how low his self-esteem is? That's right. It's like, they don't want me anyway. So therefore, I can't do it, even though they may probably want it.

50:58 Caller He chose his career profession, though. This whole general thing.

51:01 Drew Comedy is his career. They all think that when they're comedians.

51:06 Adam No, listen, I chose this career because it pays so much better than any other gig. I mean, when I was a carpenter, my best year was like 30 grand. I mean, this just pays. The thing that's interesting about this career, and then we'll take some calls because we don't want to go too far on this, but people look at this career show business as it has to be a big emotional scene. And for me, it's like, okay, you got one gig that pays 30 grand a year and you bust your ass. And then you got another gig that pays, I don't know, million, two million, three million, whatever a year, where you can have a house and you can drive some nice cars and you can do what you want. And it just makes more sense to go that route.

51:47 Caller Of course it does.

51:48 Adam Right, and if you can do it without doing a bunch of auditions and meeting a bunch of idiots and stuff, then so be it.

51:54 Caller But I see that as part of more of a positive side of the job.

51:58 Adam No, no. I guess so. That part, oh no.

52:02 Caller Sorry.

52:02 Adam No, that's horrible.

52:03 Caller I refrained my personal preferences.

52:04 Adam Mike? No, it's fine. Mike?

52:06 Caller Yeah.

52:07 Adam 29, what's up?

52:08 Drew Mike was on the lithium in the effects, sir.

52:10 Adam Ah, that's right. Yeah.

52:12 Caller My main question was, yeah, basically I've been taking the 300 milligrams for a week now. I haven't done any of the blood tests. And I'm, before I go to the 600 milligrams, I'm wondering how important is it that I really do the blood tests?

52:27 Drew Did they ask you to test before stepping up?

52:30 Caller No. I have kind of a weird relationship with my shrink in that I only see him about once every six months. And he basically leaves a fair amount of it up to me to do research. And so I've been reading up a lot on the internet and such.

52:46 Drew Oh my God, Mike, that is just an unhealthy relationship with a psychiatrist.

52:49 Caller Okay. Well, that's good to know.

52:51 Adam Well, it's his dad. So kind of some slang.

52:53 Drew Well, it's that kind of relationship, boundaries. Listen, you not only do you need careful supervision, these are dangerous medicines. It sounds like he may be treating you with antidepressants because you're an addict, which is completely inappropriate. I don't know if you are or not, but if you're smoking a lot of pot and getting depressed, that's marijuana addiction. And that needs to be treated. And the treatment is not necessarily medication, in fact, preferably not.

53:16 Caller Well, obviously taking medication is not something I want to go out of my way to do.

53:20 Adam Well, how about getting off the weed then?

53:24 Caller Well, it sounds like a fun idea. That's one of the things you said, that by using lithium, that that will be something that will likely help me to be able to stop using it.

53:34 Caller Why don't you just stop?

53:36 Drew That is BS.

53:37 Caller Really?

53:37 Caller Just do it. Stop.

53:39 Drew You need to go to MA. You'll need treatment. Marijuana addiction is addiction because it can't be stopped. That's what makes addiction addiction. And if you have addiction, that needs to be treated. Your depression is not going to get better unless that's treated. And I'm very concerned about the relationship with your psychiatrist.

53:54 Adam Well, the good news is he only sees him once every six months. So how much damage could it be causing?

53:58 Drew And in terms of stepping up on the lithium, 300 to 600 is sort of a standard daily dose. You need your kidneys checked. Best is to check it before you step on it.

54:07 Adam But if your dog-in-o-guy is 29 years old, he smokes weed daily, he's probably been at it for some time, this could be depression caused by the weed, is what Drew is saying. And so why pump more drugs in your system? Why not possibly get rid of the source of the depression? Right. Thank you. All right. You guys should come in here every night.

54:27 Caller This is fun.

54:29 Caller Alex?

54:30 Yeah.

54:31 Adam You're 13?

54:32 Caller Yeah.

54:32 Adam What's up?

54:33 Caller Okay. I've liked this guy, Ryan, since I was like 11. I've known him since I like first moved into this neighborhood and everything.

54:40 Adam Which would mean a lot except for you're 13. Right.

54:44 Caller But me and him, we can't.

54:47 Adam When you're 13, being into something or somebody since 11, no big deal. Could be 18 months, right? All right.

54:54 Drew Anyway.

54:55 Caller Well, he like, since I was like 12 or something like a little while ago, he started liking my friend, Kim, who had recently moved.

55:06 Drew You know Kim.

55:07 Adam Kim?

55:08 Drew Yeah.

55:09 Guest Good old Kim.

55:10 Adam Kim Tajanovic or Kim Wilson.

55:15 Caller But he started liking her.

55:17 Drew Oh, Kim. Okay. Yeah.

55:18 Caller She basically didn't want anything to do with him.

55:20 Adam Right.

55:22 Caller And he told me he liked me. But when he's around everybody else, he doesn't want anybody to know.

55:30 Drew Does he like you or does he like you?

55:33 Caller No, he likes me.

55:34 Adam Does he like?

55:35 Caller I love that he knows the difference. It's so great.

55:39 Adam Yeah, but does he like you like you or does he just like you like you?

55:43 Caller It's such a good question.

55:46 Caller I mean, me and him have like, we've kissed and stuff.

55:49 Adam Okay.

55:49 Caller And I mean, but when everybody else around, he's like, he's uncomfortable, embarrassed.

55:55 Caller He just doesn't know how to deal with those feelings yet. Just give him time.

55:58 Adam Yeah.

55:58 Guest But don't deal with it.

55:59 Adam How old is he?

56:00 Drew 15.

56:01 Adam 15. Yeah, he could do that.

56:02 Guest Forget it.

56:03 Caller Yeah. He's uncomfortable.

56:04 Drew Plus she's a lot younger and he might feel funny about that.

56:06 Guest Exactly. So don't even give him...

56:07 Caller I'm sure he does like you. He just doesn't know how to deal with that.

56:10 Adam And what's up with your friend Kim? He's not good enough for her?

56:14 Caller Well, she's like really picky and... Oh God.

56:18 Adam That's right. She's no bottom feeder like you.

56:21 Drew She kind of likes him, but she doesn't like him.

56:23 Adam She doesn't like like him.

56:24 Drew She kind of likes him.

56:26 Adam She sort of likes...

56:27 Caller No, she's basically like... She's a complete white girl, but...

56:31 Caller She's white?

56:31 Drew What does that mean?

56:32 Adam She's like white? Is she white or white-white?

56:35 Caller No, she's like...

56:36 Drew Or like totally white-white.

56:37 Guest Wait, what does she... What does it mean when somebody...

56:39 Caller He's got 2% Spanish in her, but...

56:42 Adam Oh, that's nothing...

56:42 Caller .he decided that she wants to be Spanish completely.

56:45 Guest Because it's cool now, by the way.

56:47 Caller He goes for black and Spanish guys.

56:49 Adam Right. I see.

56:51 Caller Okay. He's just not her type.

56:52 Drew So he's like white-white.

56:53 Adam He's like white. And she's like Mexican white, but she's more like...

56:57 Drew No, she's white white, but she wants to be Mexican white.

56:59 Adam Yeah, she's like white white, but she wants to be brown white.

57:03 Caller Right?

57:05 Drew Just be bright.

57:07 Caller Yeah.

57:07 Adam Okay. All right, Alex. Well, it sounds like you got yourself a guy here. And now, does he call you?

57:14 Caller Yeah.

57:14 Caller I mean, he recently moved to Altamont Springs because we got...

57:17 Drew Oh, you know, just right on the road there.

57:19 Adam He's down at Altamont?

57:21 Caller Next to Kim.

57:22 Adam All right. How far away is that from where?

57:25 Caller Where are you? You're just getting a kick out of this.

57:27 Adam Where are you now? Out in Cain?

57:29 Caller No, I'm in Kissimmee.

57:30 Adam Oh, Kissimmee. So, it's Altamont... So, as the crow flies, he's what? 20, like...

57:34 Drew 20 minutes. 20 minutes.

57:36 Adam 20 minutes away?

57:37 Caller Yeah. He comes to visit, like, his mom and stuff, and he'll come see me.

57:41 Caller Oh, sweet.

57:43 Drew Yeah. It sounds like a good thing, Alex. Sounds solid. We give it a two thumbs up. All right. All right? Go slow. Be careful.

57:49 Adam Seriously, how far away is he?

57:51 Caller Um, like, a half hour.

57:54 Adam Oh, because, yeah. The way Drew drives is 20 minutes. You can make from...

57:58 Drew Where are you at? Most of the time, that floating bridge anyway.

58:02 Adam Right. Drew Haul's ass on this pontoon bridge is because there's no place for the cops to hide. You know, there's no billboards for those guys. You know, it's no speed trap there. Plus, we wipe them.

58:12 Drew Clearwater in Tampa, we were driving that that one time.

58:14 Adam I mean, yeah, yeah, this is the days. Going out to visit Kim W out there. Hell of a chick. Now, now, now she thinks she's a Carmen Miranda. I'm done with her.

58:26 Guest Yeah.

58:27 Adam Two percent Mexican.

58:31 Guest Two percent.

58:33 Adam Everyone's at least five percent Mexican, aren't they?

58:35 Guest She's like two. How do they know?

58:38 Adam How can you only be two percent? I'd say you got to be at least ten or nothing.

58:45 Oh, yeah.

58:46 Adam You're 14. What's up? You depressed?

58:48 Caller No. They either go to the question. Um, they want to know how to get the girls like me.

58:54 Adam I mean, like, like, like you or just like you?

58:56 Caller Like, like, like.

58:57 Drew Like, like.

58:58 Adam You want to know how to get them to do that?

59:01 Caller Yeah.

59:02 Adam You're 14. You got to invent something.

59:07 Drew The band.

59:08 Adam Yeah, you got to get in a band. You got to get in a band. Can you do it? Can you play anything?

59:12 Caller Yeah.

59:13 Adam What can you play?

59:14 Caller Guitar.

59:14 Guest Oh, there you go.

59:15 Adam There you go.

59:15 Guest You like it already.

59:17 How old are you?

59:18 Caller 14.

59:19 Adam 14.

59:21 Guest Got nothing but love.

59:22 Adam You got to talk a lot about your nipples.

59:24 Caller Oh, no. No, don't do that.

59:26 Guest Don't do that.

59:27 Adam Oh, please.

59:27 Guest Don't be coy. We're just appeasing him over here, but it doesn't work.

59:30 Drew I like the way they get a visceral reaction.

59:32 Caller No, no, no, no, no.

59:34 Caller Please, leave that one alone.

59:37 Adam So what's the deal? Is there one particular girl you're interested in?

59:40 Caller Yeah.

59:41 Adam And how old is she?

59:43 Caller She's 14, too.

59:44 Caller Do you talk to her?

59:46 Guest Yeah, we're good friends.

59:47 Adam You've been into her for a little while?

59:51 Guest And who does she like?

59:53 Caller Um, not too new on my knowledge.

59:56 Caller Maybe she likes you, then. She's scared to say something.

1:00:00 Adam Why don't you ask her out?

1:00:02 Caller No, no, that's what I'm scared of.

1:00:05 Caller But he's scared of her. What's the worst that's going to happen?

1:00:07 Adam Too weird? You know, I think, and you guys help us guys with this. I'll put Danny on home, but he can listen up. I think as a guy, you think that if a girl finds out you're asking her out and she doesn't want to go, she's going to like freak or think there's something wrong with you or just generally that they don't look at it as a part of life. That is a girl, you should be getting asked out. You are going to turn down a certain amount of guys who ask you out, but you don't look at them as freaks because they asked you out.

1:00:42 Guest Well, if you do it like a level jumping kind of way, a level jumping, you know what I mean? Like we're here and somebody all of a sudden acts like we're up here, you know, but you're still down here, right? If I were to propose to you right now and be totally serious just because we spent these like five minutes together, you know, level jumping, nobody, no, I know, I know, I know, I know you're saying number jumping, right?

1:01:03 Drew Like our number.

1:01:04 Adam No, no, she's talking about like, it's not about if I said, how about we go out, how about we go out for lunch and then you agree to go out for lunch with me and then I pull out a ring. Now that we're going steady, I want you to wear this.

1:01:20 Caller Yeah.

1:01:20 Guest Or like they just read into everything that they think they're at that point with you. That could be really scary.

1:01:25 Adam It's the delusional thing.

1:01:26 Caller When guys take it a little too far in their head, that's when it makes you feel uncomfortable as a girl. But girls, you're used to it. If they're your friends, there's obviously something about them that you like. You're willing to go out with them.

1:01:35 Drew The thing with guys is by the time they're building up the nerve to ask you out, they fall in love. Yeah, they've concocted the same thing in their head.

1:01:42 Guest It's like in swingers when he's having the whole conversation with the answering machine. They'll do that sometimes. That is a bug out.

1:01:49 Adam Right, because chicks get weird when there's too much energy, which is, there should be a certain-

1:01:55 Guest But a guy would get so weird if I did that to you and was I-

1:01:58 Adam Not if he wanted to bang you.

1:01:59 Caller No. No, they freak.

1:02:00 Adam Not if they wanted to have sex with you and be like, yeah, it's cool.

1:02:03 Guest But no, not in a nagging like, baby, you know, you'd freak, come on.

1:02:10 Adam No.

1:02:10 Caller Boys do, they freak.

1:02:11 Adam No, look, here's how guys-

1:02:12 Caller They do.

1:02:13 Adam Here's, no, a guy's freak-

1:02:15 Caller Well, they've done it.

1:02:16 Adam Well, guys will freak down the road. I mean, guys will freak three weeks into the thing when you're putting the screws to them and you're talking about your parents and stuff like that.

1:02:27 Guest Yeah, we're talking about something different. Yeah, I see what you mean, because nobody's going to, you know, go have sex with them. So certain boys know that that's not what girls are after, and the girl will level jump and they'll be like, great, you know?

1:02:39 Adam Yeah, guys freak out when you've been on like four dates and the chick starts talking about converting to Judaism and stuff like that, then guys get weird. But if a guy is physically attracted to a woman and that woman comes over and wants to know what he's doing Friday night, he's in. And even if she bum rushes him or even if she does it in a very inappropriate, out of bounds kind of way, he'll still do it.

1:03:04 Guest Sometimes guys don't even know that they're physically attracted to a girl yet and that's where all the scheming goes on in the girl side.

1:03:10 Adam No, we know.

1:03:12 Guest I'm telling you. When you stand behind me, it's so true. You want to go to coffee like, oh man, if only you guys knew.

1:03:21 Caller Yeah, girls...

1:03:22 Adam No, we don't know if you're... We don't know if you're in to us, but we know if we're in to you.

1:03:26 Caller My theory about guys is that when girls, you'll like a guy. He doesn't get it until after you've stopped liking him and you've already moved on. They've caught the drip.

1:03:33 Drew That is a certain kind of guy. That is a particular gay guy.

1:03:35 Guest Many guys are like, stop.

1:03:38 Adam Not a passionate man like Drew.

1:03:40 Drew Those are guys...

1:03:41 Caller A lot of guys are like that. They're not as perceptive as women about certain things. Women pick up when a guy is starting to feel differently about a woman, and a woman, by the time a guy gets it, she's already over it.

1:03:52 Guest Some of them just have a hard time believing that anybody likes them. Do you disagree?

1:03:58 Adam Listen, guys...

1:03:59 Guest Not anybody, but just like us.

1:04:01 Adam Here's the deal. Guys are thick, and they're stupid, and they're out of it. Lame. Yes, they're lame. They have no idea what's going on. Women are much more sophisticated when it comes to matters of the heart. One thing guys do know is whether they're attracted to somebody or not. They don't come around on that.

1:04:17 Guest I don't know.

1:04:18 Drew No, no, guys. They are there or not.

1:04:20 Adam Once in a while, women.

1:04:21 Guest Guys are attracted to everything though. I mean, now you're not being fair.

1:04:24 Adam Let me tell you what guys do though, which is a brilliant move, especially with you hot looking chicks because here's the deal about good looking women. You can't talk about their looks too much because then you fall into the category of all the other guys who focus on that too much. They do this one. Here's my move. It works like a charm.

1:04:41 Caller You go. I'm so excited. I'm just dying to see what it is. Come on.

1:04:45 Adam Come on. You go, listen, you're really attractive. But when I met you, I knew you're really attractive. But I wasn't really into you that way. I mean, you were hot and I knew you were hot. But like, I still never thought about it that way. I wasn't India that way. But then we started talking and he asked me out to coffee. And once we got into it and then it started to build. But like, I know you're an attractive person. I mean, I can tell you that.

1:05:14 Guest Ladies and gentlemen, that is a level jumper. No, I'm kidding.

1:05:16 Drew Total BS if you hear that from a guy.

1:05:18 Guest I've never.

1:05:19 Drew Total BS.

1:05:19 Guest I just.

1:05:20 Adam It's smart because you're not going to be able to convince a really hot chick that you absolutely had no idea what she looked like and you weren't into her physically. You have to admit she was hot, but you just have to be naive and play. I never thought about it. I wasn't thinking that way. But the more we spoke and the more you talked about your pets, the more you spoke of your stuffed animal collection.

1:05:40 Guest And the dream you had last night.

1:05:42 Adam The dream you had that involved some of your pets. I was really, yeah. The way you didn't know what part of the world the Middle East was in. I mean, that kind of stuff, the more we discussed that. Now, believe me, guys know when they're attracted to a woman. Yeah. The ones that say they came onto it are full of crap. Drew, please.

1:06:02 Drew Total BS. If you ever hear that, just click off to it.

1:06:05 Adam Here's what guys could do. Guys could line up 10 women and just go, nope, nope, yes, yes, nope, nope, nope.

1:06:12 Guest As soon as we walk into a bar, we do it right away.

1:06:14 Adam You could do that.

1:06:15 Drew But you can come around though. You have the capacity to come around.

1:06:18 Adam There's two or three of those guys that are in 10 that would fall in the category C, which is I got to talk to them and see what his vibe is.

1:06:24 Caller Are they intelligent?

1:06:26 Adam Right, right. For men, we don't have a category C. It's just A and B. Would, want to get in their pants, wouldn't want to get in their pants. For Drew, it's all category A. Everyone's getting in everyone's pants.

1:06:37 Guest Emotionally intelligent men, but I know so many that have much higher criteria than that.

1:06:44 Adam Ultimately, I'm not saying they're going to marry some dumb shoe-inclusive. No, but I know people that won't spend their time unless it's like marriage or something like that.

1:06:53 Drew There's a no category for them though. And then once somebody's in a no category, they can't come back.

1:06:57 Caller Women have the no category also.

1:06:59 Drew Yes, they do.

1:07:00 Caller You walk into a barge every single day. You walk in and you check it out. There's yes, I'll talk to that guy. This guy comes over to me. No, I'm not going to talk to him.

1:07:06 Guest Exactly.

1:07:07 Adam I'm just telling you, there's a third group of question mark guys where it depends on what their vibe is.

1:07:12 Guest And that's how I've seen many men be with women, that you're like, I've talked to them where they're like, this girl's kind of, you know, into me. I don't like her, but she wants to go have coffee. What do you think? And then next thing I know, they're like, God, I'm in love with her. You know, and it's totally because she crept in there. She pulled some smart, unlevel, jumpy thing. They totally disagree.

1:07:33 Adam I know. These guys are bi, maybe. Maybe.

1:07:35 Caller No, shut up.

1:07:37 Adam And here's the other thing that you guys have. We have a much more universal and concrete way of judging your looks. Whereas you women, there's some short, bald guy you think is really sexy. You know, like, where you go, well, he's not traditionally...

1:07:53 Caller Yeah, you're like fake, blonde hair, perfect.

1:07:55 Adam Which is so... He's not traditionally... Right, thank you. He's not traditionally... We have a system, that's right. We all adhere to it. But you go like, he's not traditionally handsome, but he's sexy. There's something I like about him. We all know these guys. They make me sick by the way. But so as guys, we don't know where we stand, because an attractive woman, you guys are both very attractive. And if a guy, if you took an average young man, they would all be attracted to you. Now, they wouldn't all say you were a 10. Some might say you're a 9. Some might say you're an 8. Others might say you're a 10. But you'd all be, they'd be in the general vicinity.

1:08:29 Guest Oh, my God.

1:08:30 Adam With guys, you're all over the map. All over the map.

1:08:34 Guest Disagree.

1:08:34 Adam No.

1:08:35 Drew Let's go to break.

1:08:36 Adam No, okay. We got to go to break.

1:08:37 Drew I got to tell them that Roseanne story.

1:08:38 Adam Talk some sense into the ladies. We'll be back.

1:08:41 Caller I'm taking these things off.

1:08:47 Adam Welcome back to Delphino and Appleby.

1:08:51 Guest I know. Appleby and Delphino.

1:08:53 Adam I mean, Appleby and Delphino, the new talk format here on Love Line. Roswell is the name of the show. Tuesday nights, 9 o'clock, everybody. The big premiere is coming up this Tuesday. So mark that on your calendar. It's too late to mark it on your calendar.

1:09:09 Caller Just watch it.

1:09:10 Adam Write it on your hand.

1:09:12 Caller Yes.

1:09:12 Drew On your tennis shoes.

1:09:14 Adam That's right. Right next to Corolla's.

1:09:16 Drew Thank you.

1:09:17 Adam All right. Where was we or is we? I'll get back to the phone. I'll speak to Stephanie. Stephanie?

1:09:24 Caller Hi.

1:09:25 Adam Hey, you're 19. What's up?

1:09:28 Caller I live in Roswell, New Mexico, actually. I just wanted to know if you all had to go down to Roswell to see the town or did you get anything specific? Did you get to see like the landing site or anything like that?

1:09:42 Guest No. We've never been.

1:09:44 Drew Why not?

1:09:45 Guest It's so embarrassing. We have no excuse, no reason. We're just lazy people who have never been to Roswell, New Mexico.

1:09:53 Drew Well, how do you get to Roswell?

1:09:54 Guest We've done no research.

1:09:56 Drew Is there a plane? Was there an airport nearby?

1:09:59 Adam You can't get anywhere near Area 51, though. So what if you're going to go eat at some burger stand with a big plaster ET on front?

1:10:06 Guest But it's like our job to do like the research and at least contribute.

1:10:10 Drew It's going to go on the web or something.

1:10:12 Adam Let me tell you, this is why they call it acting. Let me give you guys a little speech here.

1:10:17 Drew Here we go.

1:10:17 Caller Here's our lesson about our profession.

1:10:20 Adam There's nothing I find more pathetic than when they start talking about these actors and they go like, well, Nick Cage, his character didn't drink in this movie so he stopped drinking and Nick used to tilt a few and it was four months without drinking. And it's like, look, if the guy slammed heroin, would you then have to start slamming heroin? And by the way, it's acting everybody. You get to act. I mean, you get to act like somebody. And then you get to go home and get back to your drinking. If you're gay, you don't got to blow guys soon as you get off the set because your character is gay in the movie. And by the same token, if your character doesn't drink, you don't have to stop drinking. That's why they called acting.

1:11:04 Guest If we had to come home and be our characters, we'd be suicidal at this point. Because we are so different. Yeah, and the inconsistencies and all that is just not...

1:11:14 Adam That being said, there's no excuse for you two not getting out to Roswell. Thank you.

1:11:18 Guest Thank you guys, my back is up on that.

1:11:20 Adam That being said, no excuse. Landon?

1:11:24 Caller Yeah, hey. I just like to say I'm a, for a long time, listener, first time caller.

1:11:29 Adam Great.

1:11:30 Caller Yeah, and also that I love Roswell and Mahantra and Shiri are like my favorite actresses on the show.

1:11:36 Guest Thank you.

1:11:37 Caller Yeah, it's a great show. I watch it every week.

1:11:39 Guest Thanks.

1:11:40 Caller And my question is that I've been friends with this girl for about a month now. We met like right before high school started on the internet. I was talking with her and everything.

1:11:50 Drew You met her in a chat room or?

1:11:51 Caller No, it was just kind of a profile thing, whatever. But we like talked and we both go to the same school and we just met last Monday of last week. And she was like pretty and everything. I kind of liked her and everything. So I was just going to ask her to homecoming, which is in three weeks. But then just on Friday, she asked out this guy and he said yes. And they had this really like great date Saturday. I was wondering if there was still a chance for that.

1:12:21 Adam Oh, that's bad. You're friends with her, so she told you about the date?

1:12:26 Caller Yes, she told me all about it in an email.

1:12:28 Caller Oh, and he was not.

1:12:29 Caller Wait, she told you in an email?

1:12:31 Caller Well, yeah, because we mostly talk online, but yeah, we met. Yeah, we talk on the phone. We talk at school, too.

1:12:37 Adam All right, Landon, here's the bad news. You guys stop me if I'm wrong, but she wouldn't have told you and made it clear what a great guy he was and what a great date she had with her.

1:12:49 Caller It wasn't like that. It was a conversation that she had already had with a friend, and I just asked her for the information on the date because she was going to tell me anyway. So it was just her conversation with me.

1:13:01 Adam Hold on. This is the ramblings of a crazy teenager.

1:13:04 Drew A male.

1:13:05 Adam We are so delusional.

1:13:06 Drew Yes, a male.

1:13:07 Adam What do you think it is? Well, look, if you're interested in a guy, you don't ask another guy to the prom and then tell this guy and make it real abundantly clear that you met a great guy.

1:13:18 Guest Yeah. Had she not asked him out and then gone on the date and bragged about it, maybe she was trying to get him jealous.

1:13:22 Drew Right.

1:13:23 Guest But the fact that she asked him out prior.

1:13:26 Drew No way. She didn't specifically sort of wag this in his face. She kind of came up in conversation. And not even slowly broke it. It was broken into him as he would a friend in matter of fact discussion. And then he now goes into the delusional 15 year old male spin. He's got to spin it out now. He's got to spin it from his landing.

1:13:44 Caller It wasn't like she made it very clear to him.

1:13:46 Drew See? Got to spin it out.

1:13:47 Caller Oh wow.

1:13:48 Caller I wish I knew that then.

1:13:50 Adam She's going to homecoming with another, with the guy she had a great date with.

1:13:54 Caller Well, she didn't know yet. She didn't know if he would ask her. She said she wasn't even thinking about homecoming yet until at least two weeks before it.

1:14:03 Adam Didn't you say that she asked him?

1:14:05 Caller Yes. She asked him out and he said yes.

1:14:07 Drew Just for a date.

1:14:07 Guest Oh, she didn't ask him to homecoming.

1:14:10 Caller No. She asked him out just on a date.

1:14:13 Adam Why didn't she ask you out on a date?

1:14:16 Caller I don't know.

1:14:16 Adam All right. Well, that's what you got to focus on.

1:14:19 Drew Just think about it.

1:14:20 Caller We had only just pretty much met Monday.

1:14:24 Adam How long had she known the other guy she asked out on a date for?

1:14:27 Caller Since probably school started because they have one class together.

1:14:30 Drew It was three weeks ago, mind you.

1:14:32 Adam They were right. They have a class together. Listen, Landon.

1:14:34 Caller Yes.

1:14:35 Adam Listen, buddy, you got scooped here.

1:14:38 Caller Oh, really?

1:14:39 Adam I mean, look, go for broke. But listen, Landon, here's the deal. Here's the deal you got to make me, all right? As you understand, I know all and I tell all, and I have sensitive nipples.

1:14:51 Drew Right?

1:14:53 Adam I swear to God, I am a genius when it comes to things that I should have done. Yeah. This would have been one of them if I was at your age. You ask her out on a date in no uncertain terms.

1:15:06 Drew Not the homecoming.

1:15:07 Adam Don't ask her the homecoming and don't give her the bum rush, and don't freak her out, and don't stutter, and don't tell her it's because you've always loved her. Or you know what you're meant to be, or any of that stuff.

1:15:18 Caller Yeah. I don't think I do that.

1:15:20 Adam Just go, look.

1:15:21 Drew Let's have coffee.

1:15:22 Adam I'd like to take you out Friday night and see a movie or go to dinner. What do you think?

1:15:26 Caller All right.

1:15:27 Adam Just be real cool about it now.

1:15:29 Guest And confident, please.

1:15:31 Adam She's going to give you some BS, and that BS is going to be, that sounds great, but I can't because of this, or whatever the reason is that she can't. That word, that means no, and don't ask her out again. She's going to be nice. She's going to be real nice, and she's going to say, Lannan, you're great. You're a great guy. And I could see why a girl would have to be crazy not to be interested in you.

1:15:53 Drew And here's what you hear. Wawa, wawa, wawa, wawa, wawa. You're Charlie Brown's teacher, talking to you, you're looking for one word, yes or no, and that's your answer about homecoming.

1:16:02 Adam And you're going to hear, I would love to any other weekend, but this weekend, but that weekend will never come.

1:16:07 Caller Don't ask her out after that.

1:16:09 Drew That's it, one time, yes or no, that's it.

1:16:12 Adam Now, don't even listen to her answer.

1:16:13 Drew Yeah, just yes or no.

1:16:14 Adam No, even if she says yes, if you don't go out with her Friday night, because you could still get the call Friday afternoon that says, you know what, something came up.

1:16:24 Caller She'll say yes first, because she's on the spot, possibly. If she's in front, face to face, she'll say yes and then call later.

1:16:30 Drew You're right, you're right. So you are either going out Friday night or you are not. That's it, that's your answer.

1:16:36 Adam Yeah, you know, it sucks about going to the same school as somebody. Everyone knows your schedule, like all that. Like now, I don't want to do anything. When I tell people I have to go check my schedule, which there's nothing on it, but at least they give me that.

1:16:49 Drew No one knows that.

1:16:50 Adam They leave me alone. Yeah, let me check that out.

1:16:52 Drew There are no 15-year-old males that understand what we just explained.

1:16:56 Caller They don't?

1:16:57 Adam No, because you know why? I swear when I was 15, I was like, I'll tell you why, because girls, and God bless you, you're too nice, you're nice and evil at the same time, which is they say, Landon, you're a great guy, and any girl would be lucky to go out with you. But this Friday, I got it, and they walk home hearing, she thinks I'm a great guy. She thinks any girl would be lucky to go out with Ace.

1:17:23 Caller I was a bitch.

1:17:24 Adam Right. Well, no, it's not intentional.

1:17:27 Guest No, no, I mean, I would just be like, no, you know what I mean, I'm sorry. I really like, you know, I think but I don't want to go out on a date just because I like you.

1:17:35 Drew You are you know, you're really cool as a friend, but I can't even you're really cool as a friend. You're going to get another date question.

1:17:42 Guest Really?

1:17:42 Drew But you've got to listen.

1:17:45 Adam Let me give you the let me give you the let me give you the proper response. Go ahead and ask me out.

1:17:52 Guest Adam, will you go out with me, please?

1:17:56 Adam You filthy, putrid pig of a man.

1:17:59 Guest That's what they need.

1:18:00 Caller What is this?

1:18:01 Caller What is this 15 year old girl going to say?

1:18:04 Drew No, it should.

1:18:05 Adam That's what you do.

1:18:05 Caller I what else is this little girl going to say?

1:18:07 Drew It's got to be something more definitive. I would like very tough. I know it's hard. It's a lot to put on a woman.

1:18:12 Adam I mean, a woman, it's so uncomfortable.

1:18:14 Caller You want the guy to be nice to you. You don't want him to be rude and talk.

1:18:17 Caller I said one of the words.

1:18:19 Guest I still think you should just be honest. If that's hey, you're cool and everything, but not enough.

1:18:24 Caller That's so hard, Majandra.

1:18:26 Drew You got to be on the order of, you can be on the order of, you're cool, I think you're cool. It's a little face-saving, but we are not having that kind of relationship.

1:18:36 Caller It is hard to say that.

1:18:39 Guest It's very clear. It's good, though. And then they hate you at the time, but then when you see each other again, you're 19, they say, do you make them so embarrassed?

1:18:47 Drew They don't.

1:18:47 Guest Let me tell you, I never had good reactions. I never had good reactions. They'd be like, well, you're flat-chested anyway. That was always their reaction, you know. So, Delfino, I love you. But it was never good until later. They'd be like, you know, thanks a lot or whatever, you know.

1:19:04 Adam I'll tell you, you're both right, because there's no way you're going to look a guy right in the eye and square in the eye and tell him there's no way your two eyes are ever going to go out. He wants to be polite. Way too tall in order for a 15-year-old girl. Here's what you do. You go, listen, I am lesbian. All right. And if I hear that you've told this to anybody in school, I swear to Christ, I'll make it my business to have everyone know you're gay. Even if you're not. OK, fine. And that's how you leave it with them. They'll save face. They'll feel better if they know you're lesbian.

1:19:31 Guest I'll remember that for my kids when they ask for advice.

1:19:36 Caller Yeah.

1:19:36 Adam You're 16.

1:19:37 Caller Yes.

1:19:38 Adam What's up?

1:19:39 Caller My boyfriend was diagnosed yesterday with HIV and we had sex about like a month ago. And could it be transmitted to me if and like he tried, like I try to HIV test, but they couldn't get like good enough results and they said they wouldn't know for like a long time. But I just wanted to know if...

1:20:02 Drew No, wait a minute, Rebecca. This whole thing is not making sense. How old is your boyfriend?

1:20:06 Caller He's 17.

1:20:07 Drew How did he get HIV?

1:20:09 Caller I don't know. He didn't tell me.

1:20:11 Drew Is he an IV drug user?

1:20:13 Caller No.

1:20:14 Adam How come you didn't ask how he got HIV? Did you see any paperwork or anything?

1:20:22 Caller When I went over to his house, I saw a paper saying he was HIV positive.

1:20:30 Drew What paper? That won't give you that paper, did it? No, there's no such thing.

1:20:34 Caller I was roaming around his desk and he said that he had a paperwork from the doctor saying he was HIV.

1:20:42 Drew No, there's no such thing.

1:20:45 Caller That's what it said. I didn't know if it was true or not.

1:20:49 Drew What was the caption? I mean, was it a lab sheet?

1:20:55 Caller No, he got a note from his doctor.

1:20:58 Adam Maybe he's just trying to get out of gym. I tried that. I told everyone I had AIDS.

1:21:01 Drew What exactly did that note say?

1:21:03 Adam What?

1:21:04 Drew What exactly did that note say?

1:21:06 Caller It said you have been transmitted with HIV.

1:21:12 Adam And Drew's a doctor.

1:21:13 Caller Was his family talking about it? Did you hear about it from an adult?

1:21:17 Guest Did you even ask him after that?

1:21:18 Caller No, I was just quiet about it. I just didn't ask him. I didn't know if I should.

1:21:23 Drew Wait a minute.

1:21:25 Caller Where are the adults? Where are the parents talking about this?

1:21:28 Caller No, his parents weren't talking about it. I was just roaming around.

1:21:31 Adam All right, so you have or haven't had a conversation with him about this?

1:21:35 Caller I haven't.

1:21:36 Drew So you don't even know what you saw?

1:21:39 Adam Well, she saw it. She thinks she saw a piece of paper.

1:21:42 Caller He said to her, and he said the doctor, didn't your boyfriend say to you the doctor gave me a note that said I was HIV positive?

1:21:48 Caller No, I found it.

1:21:49 Caller And he never talked to her about it?

1:21:51 Drew She hasn't even discussed it with him. Look, you don't know what you saw. I can't even imagine a situation where a doctor would hand someone a note like that. So I have a feeling you saw something you thought you saw but didn't see.

1:22:03 Caller Are you having protected sex with him?

1:22:05 Caller No, we were unprotected.

1:22:08 Adam What's going on in your life there, Rebecca, beside the AIDS scare, which we're sure you don't have?

1:22:14 Caller Well, me and my boyfriend have been together for like a year or so. How old are you? I'm 16.

1:22:22 Adam And he's 17?

1:22:23 Caller Yeah.

1:22:23 Adam And has he had a lot of girlfriends before you?

1:22:26 Caller Yeah, he said he had a couple before me.

1:22:29 Drew You're talking about him like you're talking about somebody you don't know.

1:22:32 Caller No, I know him.

1:22:33 Caller How many people has he slept with?

1:22:35 Caller Well, he told me he's slept with like five girls. And he's 17? Yeah.

1:22:40 Adam That's a bitch.

1:22:40 Drew I like to give this guy HIV. Then you said you had an HIV test?

1:22:45 Caller No, I didn't tell him anything.

1:22:46 Drew No, you said you also had an HIV test? Yeah. And what happened with that?

1:22:51 Caller No, and they said that the results kind of come in.

1:22:54 Drew Who said that?

1:22:55 Adam Hold on a second. Hold on. Hold on. Listen, I'd rather talk to a minor Burt. I really would. We'll get to the bottom of Rebecca, but Rebecca is like semi-retarded. I mean, she's 16 years old, and she's got like a serious learning disorder.

1:23:09 Drew Or a subogous call.

1:23:10 Adam No, she's somebody. I think something bad happened to her when she was a kid, and when I say retarded, I don't mean doioioi, retarded, I mean retarded development. Like she's at a level. She doesn't sound like you're talking to a 16 year old. Sounds like, it's like I feel like a cop talking to a five year old. Yeah. And was mommy, did daddy have a gun? He had a, it was shiny.

1:23:34 Caller Why is someone that young having sex?

1:23:36 Adam Oh, 16.

1:23:37 Guest 16 is pretty good.

1:23:40 Caller I sound so.

1:23:40 Adam Oh, Rebecca. Is there anything happened to you when you were younger?

1:23:45 Caller No.

1:23:46 Adam Nothing?

1:23:46 Caller Uh-uh.

1:23:48 Drew You were physically abused or sexually abused or anything?

1:23:50 Caller No, not at all.

1:23:50 Adam You love your daddy, everything good?

1:23:52 Caller Yeah, everything's fine.

1:23:53 Adam What's he do? Is he drink?

1:23:55 Caller Where's my bourbon?

1:23:56 Adam Huh?

1:23:57 Caller No, he doesn't drink.

1:23:57 Adam What kind of truck does he drive?

1:23:59 Caller He drives a Dodge.

1:24:01 Drew Truck?

1:24:02 Caller Yeah.

1:24:03 Adam Oh, but not for a living, just for transportation?

1:24:06 Caller Yeah.

1:24:07 Adam What's he do for a living?

1:24:09 Caller He is a engineer.

1:24:14 Adam And he's a good guy. You love him very much?

1:24:16 Caller Yeah. All right.

1:24:17 Adam All right. And she, by the way, after my quick retard speech, she perked right up.

1:24:20 Drew I noticed that, yeah.

1:24:21 Adam Now I'm wondering how you just gained 25 IQ points in the last 30 seconds, Rebecca.

1:24:27 Drew She's not trying to make up a story anymore.

1:24:29 Adam No, I know. Yeah. I think it's bogus. Liar! Liar whore! Liar whore! You know it! All right. We'll see you in AIDS. We'll see you in AIDS hell. Little bitch tried to pull one over on me. See how smart she got when I called her a retard?

1:24:44 Caller She sounded so scared at the beginning.

1:24:46 Adam She was tarting herself up, trying to sound like a screwed up...

1:24:50 Drew Also trying to make the story vague and difficult to follow.

1:24:53 Adam Right.

1:24:54 Caller Wow, you're just talking about that. Look at it.

1:24:56 Adam Hey, Rebecca, I hate to screw with you, and I know some guy put you up to this, but you've really, on this sort of wheel in the sky, cosmic thing, you've given yourself like a 500% higher chance of contracting HIV.

1:25:08 Caller Oh, shut up.

1:25:09 Adam Absolutely, absolutely you have. And you know what? I'm fine with that. I'm perfectly fine with that. We'll take a little break. We'll be back.

1:25:18 Caller Hello? This is Loveline.

1:25:20 Caller Call 1-800-LOVELINE.

1:25:23 Caller Hi, this is Jon Favreau, and you're listening to Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:25:28 Adam Yeah. I like him. Drew hates Jon Favreau. I always love that. He's Jon Favreau is a nice guy that Drew can't stand. All right.

1:25:38 Drew He and I had a big fight on the TV show.

1:25:41 Guest I like him. I like him, too. Sorry, Drew.

1:25:43 Drew You know what? I don't dislike him.

1:25:44 Guest I'm a little torn here.

1:25:45 Drew No, I like him, too. We've made up long since.

1:25:46 Adam Drew, listen, where's the old comatose? I'm going to get my paycheck and go home, screw the kids, Drew, that I've grown to love over these years. Just please, lean back. Please, lean back. Get away from the microphone. Roswell is the TV show. Because it drew at the beginning, when we come back, I like to say who the guests are and where the show is from.

1:26:05 Drew Oh, we're on the air now?

1:26:06 Adam Yes, we're on the air now. Roswell, everybody, Tuesday nights, 9 o'clock UPN, big premiere this week. All right, now.

1:26:14 Guest I keep on throwing them. Massive.

1:26:16 Adam Now we can get back to the phones. And we really don't need calls tonight, but we'll take some just to say we did it, because I could yell that if I don't. Jesse?

1:26:25 Caller Yeah.

1:26:26 Adam You're 16?

1:26:27 Caller Yeah.

1:26:27 Adam What's up?

1:26:28 Caller Not much. How are you?

1:26:29 Adam Oh, hold on a second. Much. Oh, my God. Hold on. All right. We were talking off the air about that bitch who got called in and made that bogus phone call.

1:26:40 Guest Liar, liar whore, liar whore.

1:26:41 Adam And I've said many times, I don't really care if we get bogus calls or not, because I punch out at midnight and that's fine. I get paid the same whether we get all bogus or none bogus. But there's a couple of things that upset me about her, which is I don't like it when people screw around with serious, serious topics that we have to give you the benefit of the doubt on. It's cheap to do bogus calls where you can't step up and go listen BS or get out of here, you're full of ass, because they're talking about something that's potentially life threatening and a very serious topic. And so to me, it's kind of a, it's against the Geneva Convention.

1:27:26 Drew On bogosity.

1:27:27 Adam Yeah, and how do you all deal with a bogus call? It's a challenge. You try to pull one over on us.

1:27:32 Drew Be creative, yeah.

1:27:33 Adam Right, but if you call in and say, your dad has AIDS because he's an HIV drug user.

1:27:39 Drew And I want to kill myself.

1:27:39 Adam And I want to kill myself, then we have to talk to you whether it's real or not, because obviously, even if there's a 1% chance that that could be a real phone call, because it's so grievous, we have to stick with you. And so it's kind of the coward's way of making a bogus phone call. But the other thing is, there are people who theoretically have real problems and would like to have them solved. And each one of you that spends 3 or 4 minutes of our time, there's one less of those people who gets their problem solved. But that being said, I'm so glad I called you a retard. And it is worth it for the one bogus phone call that I call Poor Innocent People Retards.

1:28:21 Drew It was interesting though. She went from retard though to college graduate.

1:28:25 Adam I saw her IQ snap right when we got back to her. She went from confused little country girl to a diabolical witch. Alright, so let's get back with old Jessie. Alright, you're 16.

1:28:39 Guest Yeah.

1:28:40 Caller Well, I got my nipples pierced yesterday. And I just wanted to know if that could later affect anything with childbearing and breastfeeding.

1:28:49 Adam Alright.

1:28:49 Drew Wouldn't the time to have asked that question been prior to the spears being put through your nipples?

1:28:54 Adam I put her on hold because her phone was screwing up. But we've had this call before.

1:28:59 Drew And it turns out it makes it a little more difficult, but it's not a big deal. But we are told.

1:29:04 Adam Okay.

1:29:04 Drew I don't know if I have no scientific or clinical experience with that.

1:29:08 Adam Just be very careful. You're 16, baby. Don't even think about getting pregnant for many years. Dave, that's better.

1:29:17 Drew Vacuuming at the same time.

1:29:18 Adam Dave, you're 39. No, I'm hearing like an 18 wheeler or something.

1:29:21 Caller Yeah, this is Dave, the truck driver.

1:29:23 Drew All right, Dave.

1:29:24 Caller Hey, buddy.

1:29:25 Caller How you doing?

1:29:26 Adam You drive an 18 wheeler?

1:29:27 Caller Yes, sir.

1:29:29 Adam Boy, do I know the sound of an 18 wheeler.

1:29:32 Caller Wow.

1:29:32 Caller There you go.

1:29:35 Guest Oh, thanks, Dave.

1:29:37 Adam Hey, Dave, do you get that thing where the guys do that arm pull thing and you honk your horn? Kids do that?

1:29:44 Caller Mostly kids.

1:29:45 Adam Yeah, I still do that. All right, Dave, what's up?

1:29:50 Caller I talked to Dr. Drew and tell hello, ladies and Anderson, everybody back there. I want to say hi.

1:29:54 Drew Dave, what's going on?

1:29:57 Caller I've noticed over the last year or so, I'm starting to have some problems, a reclodysfunction going that way, and I'm wondering if it might be, since I'm in the truck sitting a lot, I'm wondering if it could be cutting off in circulation or...

1:30:12 Drew There actually is such a thing, it's not so much in truck drivers, but people that ride bicycles, that you can crush the pudendal nerve. And there are vibratory damage, you know, like jackhammer operators get to the nerves in the hand that you might be getting if your seat is really traumatically vibrating on your palate.

1:30:32 Adam Well, he has a bike seat in there.

1:30:33 Drew No, I swear, there you go. But I...

1:30:36 Adam He's a low-esteem trucker.

1:30:37 Drew So it's not something you'd sort of typically jump to just by virtue of driving trucks. Are you... Any of the other medical problems? Could you be diabetic? Do you use a lot of alcohol?

1:30:48 Caller No, nothing like that. One thing I have noticed over the last, I don't know, maybe years or so is like when I yearn, I think I'm done and I shake and I, you know, give it a couple extra shakes. I'll put it away and start to walk over to the sink so I can wash your hands. And all of a sudden, there's a little bit there. It's like, hey, wait a minute.

1:31:08 Drew All right, well, that's that you do get from sitting and driving a truck for a long period of time, and that is prostatic inflammation. The prostate gets bigger and doesn't work right. And indeed, that can affect your erectile function. So you might want to see a doctor call the urologist. Sometimes if they get your bladder function better, decrease some of the inflammation on the prostate, some of the erectile difficulties can settle down. So I would check that out.

1:31:28 Adam Let me tell you about a very alarming trend in my life is I've gotten off of wearing underpants. You know, I now wear sweatpants everywhere with no underpants.

1:31:37 Drew Holes, making holes, and pee spots, and thongs.

1:31:39 Adam And essentially, I'm going to start going shirtless. I'm almost nude. I almost leave the house nude. Because I don't have any kind of work that requires. Let's say I don't go on auditions or anything. Sorry, I am. Now when I take the leak, I get the dribble of urine that is not held up by the underpants that hits the leg and goes all the way down the leg.

1:31:57 Guest So that's like normal?

1:31:59 Adam Into the flip-flop. Now.

1:32:00 Guest Oh, jeez, this is some serious leakage.

1:32:02 Adam Very bad, very bad. Well, it's usually like one big drop that seems to find its way down to my foot.

1:32:07 Guest Now, is that like a normal thing?

1:32:09 Adam No.

1:32:10 Drew He's getting old. Yeah, he's getting old. Yeah.

1:32:12 Guest And what does it mean now? What could it mean for you?

1:32:15 Adam It means I got about one more night left in me, ladies.

1:32:18 Guest That's what it means. Prostate problems?

1:32:19 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:32:20 Adam No, I'm fine. Oh, yeah. As strong as an ox.

1:32:22 Drew He's still pushing forward. You don't want a female genital track before 30. You don't want to males after 50.

1:32:27 Adam All right. We're going to take ourselves a break. I'm going to see if I can swap out my general track with the ladies. Drew pointed to screen there, anal sex call for the ladies. I want to thank Majandra and Shiri for coming in here tonight. Roswell, everybody, Tuesday nights, 9 o'clock. Please watch the show and support our new best friend.

1:32:57 Drew Tara's 21.

1:32:58 Adam Oh, yes.

1:32:59 Caller Happy birthday.

1:33:00 Adam Want to wish her big happy birthday. Remind me to tell you what I did on my 21st birthday tomorrow night, Drew. All right.

1:33:10 Drew On the drive home, shall I hear the story?

1:33:12 Adam It's entertaining enough that it should be said on here. Thank you guys for coming in. We really enjoyed it. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:33:22 Drew Malraise that they canceled it because a few pussies were afraid to stand up in public on a time like this.

1:33:28 Caller What?

1:33:28 Drew A bunch of pussies.

1:33:30 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, October 7, 2001