Episode 1000754886742

0:54 Hey, everybody, it's the Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That's Dr. Drew over there. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist, and a doctor. We're back.

1:12 Adam And we're back. And we're back. And we're back. And we're back. And we're back. And we're back. And we're back. We've got L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist, and tonight Ozzy Osbourne will be our guest. Ozzy is not in the studio just yet because he's on his way from another location, but he should be walking in here in moments. And a big crowd out there tonight.

1:41 Drew Extraordinary.

1:42 Adam Yeah. I didn't know, you know, I always knew Ozzy was big, but I didn't know he was this big with the with the youngsters. Does that make me sound old when I call them youngsters?

1:54 Drew Yeah.

1:54 Adam How about how about youngins?

1:56 Drew Okay.

1:56 Adam The kid folk. The point is, there's a lot of like hip edgy 18 year olds out in our parking lot who are dying to get a picture or autograph with Ozzy Osbourne.

2:07 Drew And then our usual autograph hounds are there too.

2:09 Adam Yes. And then the guys who live at home with their parents who get you to sign pictures, but don't want you to put a name on it. They come up to you and go, we're big fans. Don't put my name on it. Just sign it. And could you number it and date it too? So I could sell it on eBay for five bucks and get myself a can of hash while my mom doesn't kick me out of the house. So anyway, Ozzy Osbourne is going to be in here in just a few moments and it's very exciting. There's an electric charge in the air that's not normally here in the Loveline studio unless I got gas.

2:46 Drew Yeah, it's true.

2:47 Adam Okay, Drew.

2:47 Drew I'm very excited about that.

2:48 Adam I can see you're pumped. Big Ozzy fan?

2:50 Drew Yeah, huge.

2:52 Adam Drew, what is it that, is there anything you do like beside your family?

2:57 Drew It's hard. I have to think about it for a while. I like work.

3:03 Adam All right, let's get to the phones and Ozzy and his wife I think may come in here too. Sharon, who's his manager.

3:10 Drew Oh, she manages him? That's interesting.

3:11 Adam Yeah. Yeah, I think they've been that way for a long time.

3:14 Drew You've always been very critical of that relationship, a manager, spouse.

3:17 Adam Yeah, but Ozzy needs a wrangler too, and so he needs someone close by.

3:22 Drew I see.

3:23 Adam Someone he'll listen to.

3:24 Drew Okay.

3:24 Adam See what I'm saying? Kara?

3:26 Yeah.

3:27 Adam You're 21. What's going on?

3:31 Caller When I have an orgasm, I leave a huge puddle of cum.

3:36 Drew Good time.

3:36 Caller Yeah.

3:36 Caller And I was talking to my aunt about it, and she told me that she doesn't get that wet during sex, and she said that she didn't think it was normal, and I want to know what you guys think.

3:46 Drew Aunt. Aunt Suzie?

3:48 Adam How old is your aunt?

3:49 Caller My aunt's 36.

3:51 Adam Wow. I hope I never have that kind of openness with my nephews that they can come up to me and tell me. Oh, Uncle Adam, boy, I about filled a tub with jizz. Boy, I was banging the bejesus out of my underage girlfriend. I think she's got the crabs. Anyway, don't tell your sister.

4:10 Drew No, no. Listen, maybe something about their masturbating habits. I know that's what it would be. No, Cara, that is a unique talent that some women have, and you're fortunate enough to have that. It's fine.

4:19 Caller It's normal?

4:19 Drew It's completely normal.

4:20 Adam What's your boyfriend think?

4:22 Caller Well, I've been with this guy like a month and a half now, and he thinks it's normal, but...

4:28 Drew Is he pleased?

4:29 Caller Yeah.

4:29 Drew Yeah, feels like he's done something.

4:30 He seems pleased.

4:32 Adam All right, does it happen during oral sex?

4:35 Caller No, not really.

4:37 Adam Okay, good for him. All right, Cara, you're fine. Thanks. Just put one of those metal trays down. You know, they put them in the garage when your transmission leaks. Actually, you kids don't know it, but cars used to leak stuff all the time. They don't seem to leak any more.

4:52 Drew You remember garage floor cleaners and the sand you put down there?

4:56 Adam It was a billion dollar a year industry stuff to clean up stuff that came out of cars. They put like this kitty litter to sop it up. Garages routinely would have pans in them under where the transmission and the engine was. I could remember pulling crappy cars into friends' houses and having their parents yell, don't park in the driveway. We had a gallon of tranny fluid in there last. Remember that?

5:18 Drew Oh, yeah.

5:18 Adam Remember driving around with the fluids because you had to top them off every 40 or 50 miles?

5:23 Drew Yeah.

5:24 Adam You kids today, you don't know how good you got it with your 100,000 mile tune-ups. Alicia, no wonder you're all soft.

5:32 Hi.

5:33 Adam You're 18. What's up?

5:35 Caller Well, the girl before me stole my question. I have the same problem but not a big puddle like that.

5:41 Drew What happened with you?

5:42 Caller It's just enough to where it's just a little uncomfortable.

5:46 Adam What do you mean uncomfortable?

5:47 Caller Like, it doesn't feel normal and I don't have sex much.

5:54 Drew Is it only when you have a partner or when you're by yourself?

5:58 Caller Usually only with a partner. I don't notice it when I'm by myself.

6:00 Drew It's uncomfortable because it seems that it limits the contact a little bit, or just you're embarrassed, or what is it?

6:07 Caller I think I'm just embarrassed. It just seems like more than what should be.

6:10 Drew We hear this so often. Women feel embarrassed or ashamed of this. No, no, no. It's a good thing.

6:15 Caller I mean, I'm sure the guys, you know, they like anything that kind of freaks the girls out.

6:19 Adam If you're like, listen, guys...

6:21 Drew Yeah, it's like putting frogs in front of you and they're pulling your ponytail. Same idea. If it freaks you out, it's good. What do you say, Adam?

6:28 Adam Guys are fine with that. Guys eat, you know, cow testicles. Guys, frat guys swallow boogers and goldfish. And guys make a living off of putting gross and weird stuff in their mouth.

6:39 Drew And freaking women out about it.

6:40 Adam And freaking women out themselves out. They don't care about that.

6:43 Caller It's like anything that you're kind of like, Oh, don't do that. And they're like, Yeah.

6:47 Adam Yeah. Right.

6:48 Drew They also, it's a product for their effort.

6:52 Adam Yeah. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's a trophy in liquid form. It's saying, this chick did not fake her orgasm. Here is, you don't believe me? Look at the Rorschach test on the sheet.

7:05 Drew Now, here's the interesting, now, it's a given that some of these women have female orgasmic incontinence. Maybe the ultimate fake orgasm is to just pee.

7:13 Adam Just start leaking on them. All right, ladies. Well, you heard it here first from Dr. Drew. Blake?

7:19 Yeah.

7:19 Adam You're 17? What's up?

7:21 Caller Um, I've never ejaculated before.

7:24 Adam All right. Kill yourself. Yeah.

7:28 Drew Have you tried?

7:29 Caller Yeah, I have many times.

7:31 Adam Well, you're 17, so you're a little bit behind.

7:34 Caller Yeah.

7:34 Adam But this could happen, right?

7:35 Drew Yeah. This is similar to the Corolla heritage.

7:38 Adam I got started late. I got started at 16.

7:41 Drew Okay. And he had to be sort of coached.

7:44 Adam Thank you.

7:44 Drew Instructed.

7:45 Adam Thanks.

7:46 Drew Demonstrated.

7:46 Adam Thank you.

7:47 Guest Okay.

7:48 Adam Hey, Blake?

7:49 Guest Yeah.

7:50 Adam How have you tried?

7:52 Caller Like masturbating and watching porno and stuff.

7:56 Adam Okay. You beat off? To be fair to me, if I had porno, especially in the DVD format or the internet.

8:04 Drew Oh, you've not graduated the DVD.

8:06 Adam Yes, I have. Yes.

8:08 Drew I'm surprised to see you at work.

8:09 Adam My point is, my point is, I could have got started earlier and had a more prolific masturbatory career if I'd had today's technology.

8:18 Drew Blake actually does sound like puberty might be coming a little bit late with him, which is fine.

8:22 Adam You a little guy, Blake?

8:24 Guest Yeah, I am.

8:24 Adam Okay. So you're a late bloomer.

8:27 Guest Okay.

8:27 Drew It'll be fine.

8:28 Adam That's fine. Are you Jewish?

8:31 Caller No, I'm not.

8:32 Drew Why is that?

8:32 Adam It would have been ironic if he had a bar mitzvah like four or five years ago and still hadn't had ejaculation. All right, Blake, you smoke weed?

8:40 Caller No, I don't.

8:41 Adam All right. You're all right then.

8:42 I'm good with weed from him.

8:44 Caller Tell Ann, she's doing a good job running the show.

8:46 Adam Okay.

8:47 Drew Were you her nephew?

8:49 No, I'm not.

8:50 Adam Okay, Blake.

8:51 Caller Okay. Later, mayonnaise.

8:53 Adam Happy whacking. I don't know. It may have been bogus. That's my main mayonnaise. That's my main man. Who was that? Snoop Dogg. Jane, you're 24.

9:03 Caller That's me.

9:03 Adam What's up?

9:04 Caller Okay. I have a severe problem with my 28-year-old boyfriend. He masturbates all the time.

9:11 Caller And I don't have a problem with him masturbating.

9:12 Caller Don't get me wrong. I know it's totally natural. But he leaves... My son is caught in my son's five.

9:21 Drew That is not good.

9:23 Caller Yeah, I guess.

9:26 Caller He... My son... He says that I implanted it in my son's brain. But my son is learning disabled. But he came up to me with a bottle of lotion. Said, that's not your lotion. That's daddy's lotion. And then today, he... I came in from taking my son to the doctor. And there was a glass of water that my son was drinking before we left. And there was lotion in it.

9:45 He doesn't clean up any of his mess.

9:47 Caller He lies about it all the time.

9:48 Adam Hold on. Does he use his dick for a swizzle stick?

9:51 Caller I guess.

9:52 Adam I mean, how does he get the lotion into the glass of water?

9:55 Drew Maybe it wasn't lotion.

9:58 Adam Well, wait a minute. How does he get the semen into the glass of water?

10:02 Caller Well, I don't know.

10:03 Adam I guess it does keep you regular, Drew. You get a teaspoon of that. You mix it up with some tap water before you go to bed.

10:09 Caller And it gets better. He doesn't have sex with me.

10:12 Adam Right.

10:13 Caller He's always masturbating.

10:14 Caller It's like I don't matter to him.

10:16 Caller All right.

10:17 Adam Well, listen, Jane, here's the plan. First off, hang on to this catch with both hands because this guy's a keeper.

10:23 Drew They're both from Bakersfield. Think of that.

10:25 Marry him.

10:26 Caller I'm not from Bakersfield, but it's kind of close to me.

10:28 So you can't use the Bakersfield thing on me.

10:30 Adam Well, the wind must be blowing from Bakersfield to wherever you are. Now, look, how about you marry this guy and have four or five kids with him?

10:39 Actually, we have a kid.

10:40 No.

10:43 Unacceptable.

10:44 Adam What's this guy do for a living?

10:46 Drew Sick.

10:47 Caller I can't, he's in law enforcement.

10:49 Adam Oh, really? I know my theory about that.

10:53 Drew But here's my question about Jane. Was she sexually abused? Would she find a perpetrator? Is that what got really going on here?

11:00 Caller Um, yes, I was.

11:02 Drew Okay, so that means you're going to find a nice sexual abuser, a nice victimizer, bring her to the house and really work that on your kid just the way you had it done to you.

11:12 Caller Okay, so what...

11:12 Drew It is sexual abuse to have your child exposed to a grown man masturbating.

11:17 Caller Right, so what do I do? Do I ask him to get help or...?

11:21 Adam Yeah, I think you should. I mean, here's what you do. You got to lay down the law, Jane. This is not acceptable behavior.

11:28 Caller I've hit all his things. He finds them.

11:31 Caller I just don't know what to do.

11:32 Adam Listen, he's not a puppy that you're trying to train. You understand? You can't run behind him and put down newspaper. He's a grown man. He needs some therapy.

11:42 Drew Well, he needs SA, really. He needs some real serious consequences.

11:47 Adam When you got a five-year-old who's learning disabled, who's put two and two together with the lotion, that's bad times. By the way, guys beating off in cop uniforms will scar a child. Just the village people is enough for me.

12:02 Drew He may be doing more than just mastering around this child. Who knows? I think you need to call Child Protective Services. I think you need, or at least get really heavy formal evaluation and require him to go to some sort of family therapy with you.

12:14 Adam And Jane, you got it. Listen.

12:16 Drew And then ultimately he has to go down and say this is sexual compulsion.

12:19 Adam You were a victim. Let's not screw the kids up. Like you got screwed up.

12:23 Caller All right?

12:24 Adam That's your number one plan.

12:26 Caller Would you suggest me leaving him until he gets the counseling because he said before that he'll go get counseling. He never does.

12:32 Adam I do. I think you have to lay down the law and he has to feel the consequences of his actions.

12:38 Drew You're protecting the safety and well-being of your children.

12:43 Caller Okay.

12:44 Drew Okay. Is there anything more important than that?

12:46 Caller No.

12:46 Drew Okay. We got to do this then.

12:48 Adam All right, Jane.

12:49 Caller Thank you.

12:50 Adam All right, baby. Take care of yourself.

12:53 Caller Thanks.

12:53 Adam All right. Bye. You know, this is why I would like the, we have the MTV camera here. I'm going to speak into the camera for this one. This is why I would like the A-holes that perpetrate this child abuse, molestation, incest, that sort of stuff. This is why we need these people dismembered and then have the parts thrown to polar bears because it's a legacy that keeps going. It's not like you just ruin the kid's afternoon.

13:21 Drew No.

13:22 Adam This is a ruined life. You have people like our last caller here, the 24 Jane. She's got a five-year-old who's now screwed up.

13:30 Drew So she brings a perpetrator into her house who screws up the next generation. And there you go.

13:34 Adam That's right. All because Uncle Lou had a few too many tall boys in 1974. You see what I'm saying?

13:42 Drew Oh, yeah.

13:43 Adam Okay. This is why.

13:45 Drew Thank you. If there were profound consequence to this behavior, you might see it settle down a little bit.

13:50 Adam You mean if we started dismembering the people?

13:52 Drew Like you say. The polar bear part I like.

13:56 Adam It's a society. It's a no lose because either it stems the tide of molestation or it doesn't and we get to see guys who molest dismembered. Anyway, you slice it, right? Good times. Alex? You're 21?

14:10 Caller That's correct.

14:11 Adam What's up?

14:11 Caller I have a question. Okay. I was curious. What are the probabilities of someone getting an STD from oral sex, say if their tongue is pierced or they're not?

14:21 Drew If it hasn't been done recently, like within a few days, there's no added risk.

14:25 Caller Okay. Like say if you have your tongue pierced and you like, you know, wait till it heals like for a bottom up.

14:31 Drew Like I said, there's no added risk.

14:33 Caller There is none?

14:34 Drew None.

14:35 Caller Okay.

14:35 Adam Cool. What are you doing?

14:36 Caller Oral sex.

14:37 Adam Oh, okay. Let me write that down. Do you think your partner has some disease?

14:44 Caller No. I'm just kind of curious.

14:45 Drew What kind of piercing are you getting?

14:46 Caller Well, no. Well, I used to have my tongue pierced. I took it out because like people were telling me, you know, that it's like an open flesh wound and you're more, you know, you could get like, I'm bisexual, so it's like you could like get an STD from, you know, performing oral sex on people.

15:01 Drew No, the tongue, that hole epithelializes very quickly and so it's no significant risk beyond that which you already exposing yourself having oral sex with multiple partners.

15:11 Caller Okay. And also like, like, like, what, like, I also heard that you can't, it's like really hard to get like, like say HIV from oral sex because like there's a lot of oxygen in the saliva or something.

15:24 Drew Yeah, it's the swallowing part that really makes it much easier.

15:27 Adam Well, that's why I never swallow.

15:29 Drew That's good. Not after five.

15:30 Adam FYI, fellas.

15:31 Drew That's good.

15:32 Adam Don't expect that out of me. No more. That's what I say to swallowing. Hey, you know, Drew?

15:38 Drew Yeah, Adam?

15:39 Adam Yeah. Hey, Drew.

15:40 Drew Hey, Adam. What's going on, dude? Well, I am.

15:41 Adam I'm glad you asked there, Drew, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, I just had this thought as you're talking about, as you was talking about taking out his tongue piercing.

15:50 Drew Right.

15:50 Adam Which is, don't you think one of the benefits of all this biological warfare and the anthrax scares and all this going on and a lot of the anthrax saying that it, you know, the, what the hell is it called? The topical stuff, the one that goes in through the skin, cutaneous stuff, enters through cuts and that sort of stuff.

16:11 Drew Yeah.

16:12 Adam Maybe, and not that it's a direct correlation, but don't you think people are going to be less apt to go in to the piercing parlor and get their tongue done up?

16:21 Drew Like everything else, I hope it sort of reorders priorities. And yes, I think doing things to their body, like throwing spears through it, maybe not quite so attractive. And maybe you're not going to go running to an herbalist if you get anthrax and think about that as being the solution, the better, wiser solution than Western medicine and all its, right, the man's alternatives.

16:44 Adam Yeah, it is funny, everyone is into the herbalist until the chips are down and they're going to die. Now we're all running for the man. Find me a nice blonde Nazi doctor to prescribe me something that upjohn his rate the land to make. Yes. No, here's what I'm saying about the piercing stuff.

16:59 Drew Yeah, no, I'm saying, it won't be so hard to create violations in your skin integrity.

17:03 Adam Yeah, because you pop a hole in your tongue and then two days later you're licking an envelope and you're freaking out, right? All right. Let's talk to Ann, who's 17. Ann?

17:15 Caller Yeah.

17:16 Adam What's up?

17:18 Caller When I have sex with my boyfriend sometimes, I'll swell up after and it'll like burn like after I pee and stuff. It'll like burn for a couple of hours later, just like walking and just like.

17:30 Drew How long are you guys doing this, your thing?

17:32 Caller Like having sex.

17:33 Drew Yeah, like that.

17:34 Guest Yeah.

17:36 Caller It varies on him, I guess.

17:38 Drew How long does it end up being?

17:40 Caller Probably like 15 minutes.

17:41 Drew And that's too long for you? That starts hurting after a while?

17:43 Caller No, it doesn't hurt while we're doing it, just after.

17:46 Adam Swells up.

17:47 Caller Yeah.

17:47 Drew Do you use a condom?

17:50 Caller No.

17:51 Drew Do you think you could be allergic to a semen?

17:54 Caller Well, it doesn't happen all the time, though.

17:56 Drew It just happens when you go a little longer.

17:59 Caller No, it's all like the same.

18:02 Drew It doesn't happen all the time, but it's all like the same.

18:05 Adam Well, but it's not correlated to when they go longer. That's what she said.

18:09 Drew But it doesn't happen all the time. So what does it correlate with?

18:12 Caller I have no clue.

18:12 Adam She doesn't know.

18:14 Caller It just does it out of nowhere sometimes.

18:16 Adam How's the lubrication going?

18:18 Caller Good. We've got some good astroglides.

18:20 Drew And have you had a pelvic exam to make sure there's not something going on in terms of infection?

18:25 Caller I haven't.

18:26 Drew Well, you need to do that, right? Okay. Women your age that get cervical cancer.

18:32 Caller Yeah.

18:33 Drew And when you're sexually active, your risk goes up. And so that's why it's time to go do that.

18:37 Caller Okay.

18:38 Drew And then they can also take a look and see if there's anything else going on that might be causing this irritation. But it just sounds like more from friction than anything else.

18:44 Caller Friction?

18:45 Adam What are you using for lubrication?

18:46 Drew Astroglides, you said.

18:48 Adam I mean, what are you using for birth control?

18:51 Caller Ortho-tricyclin.

18:52 Adam Alright, baby.

18:53 Caller Yeah.

18:54 Adam Alright, we're going to send you out a windbreaker for using birth control.

18:58 Caller I also have another question about the sex drive. Lately, it's like gone.

19:01 Adam Yours is?

19:02 Drew How long have you been in the ortho-tricyclin?

19:04 Caller Probably about eight months.

19:06 Drew How long has your sex drive been gone?

19:08 Caller Probably like two, or two, no, probably like three weeks.

19:11 Adam Well, listen, if my vagina swelled up so it looked like a Dick Tracy character.

19:16 Caller But it's just like not even like-

19:17 Adam Vagina pose?

19:18 Caller Like the sex drive, but like-

19:19 Adam I wouldn't do it either. Hey, would you shut up?

19:22 Caller No.

19:22 Adam Alright, then screw you.

19:24 Drew But you're right, that's a sort of deterrent to her getting sexually active. I wanted to ask if she's on any other medication.

19:31 Adam Well, it would have been nice.

19:31 Drew Ask how the relationships go on.

19:33 Adam It would have been nice, but she had to sass off.

19:35 Drew You had to say vagina puss.

19:38 Adam Well, I was in the middle of-

19:39 Drew Wouldn't it be puss face?

19:41 Adam Vagina puss face, or just puss face?

19:42 Drew Like prune face, we have puss face, wouldn't it?

19:44 Adam Yeah, but you could have a puss on, and that wouldn't make the vaginal reference to your face. You see what I'm saying?

19:51 Drew Yeah.

19:51 Adam Okay, let's talk to Troy, who's 19, Troy.

19:56 Hey guys, long time listener, first time caller. Great. Hey Adam, good time.

20:00 Adam Good times.

20:01 Hey, well I'm 19 years old, I'm going out with a 16 year old, and everyone tells me that I can't do anything but kiss her. Can you guys tell me what the statutory rape laws are in like Arizona?

20:12 Drew Do we have that somewhere, Ann? Where are you?

20:14 What's that?

20:14 Adam Drew used to have it on the back of your Mark's A Lot board.

20:17 Drew We aren't bored in here anymore. She's going to go get it. I thought it was 16 in Arizona, isn't it?

20:22 Adam Seems like it.

20:22 Drew I thought Arizona was sort of unusually young, if I remember right. Ann was running for the...

20:26 Adam How long have you been with her?

20:28 Two weeks.

20:30 Adam Yeah.

20:31 And I don't know what the appropriate thing is.

20:34 Drew I think it's just her own health and safety. Ann, just show me with your fingers what the age is right there. Look it up. Okay. I think just kind of taking it very, very, very slow for her is the way to go. 16 and 19 is a real age difference.

20:48 Yeah.

20:49 Drew It's not awful, but it's real.

20:52 So it's against the law to do anything, but you know, kids, you can't go below the wish or anything.

20:56 Drew We're looking at that up right now.

20:58 Adam I don't know how that goes. If I was in charge, I'd put through some finger-banging legislation, I would call it.

21:05 Drew First you change the name, finger-banging, to something else.

21:08 Adam Something a little more palatable, and then I would put that through Congress.

21:11 Drew It's 16. It's 16 in Arizona.

21:13 So what happens if she's 16 what?

21:16 Drew It's 16 in Arizona. So according to what data we've got here, you're free and clear.

21:20 Nice. Right on.

21:21 Drew I don't know if that, don't take that as the last word, but that's what we have here. So.

21:25 All right. Well, great.

21:26 Adam All right.

21:27 Drew I'd still take it very slow. It's a long time. Think about what you were like at 16.

21:33 Right.

21:33 Adam Happy statutory raping.

21:35 Hey, good time.

21:36 Adam Wait a minute.

21:37 Drew You are an asshole. Oh, no. Wait. It's oh, it's 1847. It's 18. It's 18. They just jumped around saying 18 now. Oh, so it's 18. Yes, you are. So the don't do it.

21:48 Adam And I don't know. I don't know what you can do. I think you I think second base legally is as far as you can get.

21:54 Yeah. Yeah. OK.

21:56 Adam All right. But listen, if you're on good terms with their parents, it's all right.

21:59 Oh, I am right on. All right.

22:01 Adam Just take it slow there, buddy.

22:02 All right.

22:02 Drew It's better for her. Better for her.

22:05 Adam Everything's better for her if you just leave her alone.

22:07 Drew Yeah. That's right.

22:09 Adam It is?

22:10 Drew Yeah.

22:10 Adam All right. But I mean, isn't a 16-year-old girl going to date a 19-year-old? A 16-year-old girl is not interested in 16-year-old guys, are they?

22:17 Drew I think 16, 18 works. OK 19-year-old is in a different state of life.

22:22 Adam All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. Ozzy Osbourne theoretically is en route to the Loveline studio. Drew has the breakdown for all the statutory rape laws around the country.

22:35 Drew Around the world.

22:36 Adam Around the world.

22:37 Drew Wow.

22:38 Adam Drew, find out, find what the lowest one is. I'd be-

22:41 Drew 14 in Hawaii.

22:44 Adam Another reason to move to Hawaii.

22:46 Guest Oh my God.

22:47 Adam All right. We'll take ourselves a little break and we'll be back after this.

22:53 1-800-LOVE-191.

22:55 Adam We'll be right back. Yeah, that's Clive Barker with his Adam Carolla, instead of Adam Carolla, it's an English thing. I don't know why you guys put that R where the A is supposed to be.

23:41 Guest For what?

23:43 Adam All right, I don't want to start off on a bad one.

23:45 Guest I never went to school, so you're asking me. I'm dyslexic, and I sort of from ADD.

23:50 Drew No, it's Adam too. He doesn't have a lot of comment.

23:53 Adam I'm going to tell my kid not to go to school on the off chance he becomes a successful entrepreneur or musician or actor so he can announce that while he counts his millions. Doesn't it feel better? I mean, aren't you glad you didn't go to school now?

24:08 Guest Well, not really, because it does get frustrating when I say, instead of K-R-O-Q, I read it all back to front and I see things back to front and my concentration span is about one millionth of a second and in my whole life I must have read maybe five books.

24:27 Adam Yeah.

24:27 Drew Oh, this is Adam.

24:28 Adam You're really my hero.

24:29 Drew Yes.

24:30 Adam Because I don't like to read either.

24:32 Guest I love to know. You love it? Somebody invented a pill that made me like me. I'd love to go into a library and just pick out a book. I envy people that can read really well. I know people that can speed read. That must be a trip, man.

24:45 Drew Adam has so much negative connotation to the book that he can't even get near a book without shuddering and feeling. I do.

24:52 Guest I buy books to make myself feel intelligent.

24:56 Drew Stay around them. You live around books.

24:57 They look good on the shelf.

24:59 Guest I've got first editions of everything. I've got Churchill's first edition. I can't even read the name Churchill. I say, what's this? Sharon buys me these first editions. I go, what does that mean? She goes, this is Winston Churchill's memoirs. I go, what about? How drunk he used to get and how many cigars he used to smoke during the war.

25:18 Adam Oh, that's sacrilege. He saved your country.

25:21 Guest Bull.

25:22 Adam Crap. All right, Ozzy Osbourne is here. Sharon is also here. Sharon is his wife and manager and wrangler and sometimes interpreter. And put your headphones on Sharon because when we get some calls, you're going to want to hear these problems that these kids have. Now, I think I saw Behind The Music on you.

25:42 Guest Yeah.

25:43 Adam And boy, I'll tell you, where do you start? What a great Behind The Music. Like that should have been a five hour behind the music.

25:50 Guest In actual fact, there's part two coming. It's true that there's part two coming out shortly.

25:54 Adam Yeah, because it wasn't, you know, once in a while, they do a Behind The Music with like a Hazy Phantasy or Third Eye Blind or something. That's my point. There's not enough to fill up the time. But with you, you got too much material for the allotted time. But there's a couple of things.

26:10 Guest I've met you before. I haven't known.

26:11 Drew You've been here before.

26:12 Guest That's right.

26:13 Drew It was about eight years ago.

26:14 Guest I feel like I've been abducted by aliens and just let down again.

26:18 Adam He pointed at Dr. Drew, by the way. I was not here when he was here.

26:22 Guest I'll never forget her face.

26:24 Adam Really?

26:24 Guest Especially if I ripped him off.

26:27 Drew No, we had a good time.

26:28 Adam You did? All right. Now, Sharon, Sharon, you guys met, I mean, it's been some years now, right? Ten years?

26:34 Guest 20. No, actually, I first met Sharon when she was a secretary, no, a telephone reception for her father in 1971, and her father was trying to get money for Black Sabbath.

26:47 Adam Right.

26:47 Guest I was wearing a pajama top for his shirt and a hot water faucet for jewelry, and I was smoking pot in the reception, and she was absolutely freaked out.

26:58 Adam Weren't you locked up in a hotel room, and Sharon came up and saved you?

27:04 Guest And that was in 1979.

27:05 Guest That was a while ago.

27:06 Drew They had been together for years at that point, see?

27:08 Adam But here's the thing I was curious about. The infamous biting the head off.

27:13 Drew Oh, no.

27:14 Adam Don't go there, man. You don't have to answer any questions, but here's what I'm curious about. When I was watching the Behind the Music thing, and he was biting the head off of the dove in the record meeting, there was pictures of it. It wasn't a reenactment. I was like, who had a camera for this?

27:30 Guest Well, it was supposed to be me signing up with the record company.

27:34 Adam Oh, that's why they were taking the pictures.

27:35 Guest It was a meeting. You know when you go, hi, I'm the new signer. And the next guy comes in, and these dudes are like... So when you go to the fun thing, you put your face through one of them. Be happy, in fact.

27:46 Adam Yeah.

27:47 Guest Oh, we need a camera in here. And besides, Sharon says to me, I want you to go in and throw these doves in the air. I was drunk, and I threw one of them in, and I bit the one's head off. And they all went, well, I did the opposite way around.

27:58 Adam Yeah, the blood was coming out. It was great that there was a camera there. That's all I'm saying. That was...

28:03 Guest Nobody bit nobody. I mean, I was... Sharon says... Sharon was literally, literally wetting herself. Literally.

28:12 Guest In the reception of CBS.

28:14 Adam You had a tinkle in your pants in the reception of CBS?

28:17 Guest On the floor, a huge tinkle. Really? Because I couldn't stop laughing.

28:21 Adam Did he bite you?

28:22 Guest More like a small lake.

28:23 Drew It doesn't qualify as a tinkle then, does it?

28:25 Guest No, it's not.

28:26 Drew It's a piss.

28:27 Guest Wow.

28:30 Adam That's great. What a mess you guys made in that office.

28:33 Guest Glad you pissed. It was great.

28:35 Guest We went back to her father's house. She says, you guys stink. You need to take a bath more often.

28:43 Adam All right. Well, let me, I'm glad I brought that up.

28:45 Guest You've got us to give kids advice after this.

28:48 Adam Yeah, we will. We will. We're going to do it. We're going to take a call in a second, but I just want to plug the album and plug the in-store tomorrow, which is at Tower Records on Sunset out here in Hollywood. And that's at five o'clock. That's tomorrow?

29:00 Guest Yeah, I want to say, I'd be really interested to see how many people come out. I'd like to have a lot of fun with it, you know.

29:06 Drew It's going to be big.

29:09 Adam I suspect there'll be a lot of folks out there. Down to Earth is the name of the CD. We're going to hear something off that's coming out tomorrow, right?

29:16 Guest Yes. Well, it's coming out in about an hour and a half. You can buy it in an hour and a half.

29:23 Adam How do you do that? A tower. Because it's open at night?

29:26 Guest Yeah.

29:27 All right.

29:27 Adam We'll take some calls. Audrey?

29:30 Yes.

29:31 Adam What's up?

29:32 Nothing. I'm just really excited. I have a question. I'm not really a question. I want to say thank you to Ozzy for the music.

29:40 Guest Thank you.

29:40 Thank you. And also to your wife for getting you back on your feet and having you around this long. I'm really happy.

29:51 Guest I mean, that's another thing I don't know how I've done. I don't know how. I don't believe in miracles and things, but I'm sure I had an incredible run, you know. So considering I started in 68 with Black Sabbath.

30:04 Oh, I know that.

30:05 Guest It's now 2001. It's like, where has the time gone? It's like, in a flash, it's gone by. So you know what you should do every day? Enjoy your life. Exactly. I mean, Sharon and I were in New York when this terrorist attack happened. You know, and suddenly the world kind of changed for us all. And what I decided to do, you know, is have as much fun as I possibly can. Because you know what? You never know when something bad's going to happen.

30:30 Drew Were you in the shadow of all that? Did you see it happen?

30:34 Guest We saw it from the roof of our hotel after we watched the news. We went up to the roof and you could see it all burning.

30:41 Adam But Ozzy, it's not like you were leading a sober, contemplative life of quiet reading before this. I mean, weren't you having fun?

30:49 Drew You can't read.

30:49 Adam I know. I'm saying you were having fun.

30:51 Guest I'm not sober. Now I'm not totally teetotal. Now even now, now I find me with my head down in a bottle of something I shouldn't be doing. And she goes, uh-uh, not allowed. Go back to jail. Do not collect $200.

31:03 Adam I mean, you were having a good time before.

31:05 Guest I mean, you gotta have a good time.

31:07 Adam That's what I'm saying.

31:10 Guest You know what? When you're dead, you're dead for a long years, a lot of years and nobody's ever come back and said, hey, you know what? It's really cool on the other side.

31:17 Adam Now, I wish someone would, for Christ's sake. I'm dying to hear that from somebody.

31:22 Guest When you hear these people say that they saw this white light and they heard a voice say, go back. You know, I mean, I don't believe in all that baloney. I don't believe in ghosts.

31:33 Adam I always fear that white.

31:34 Guest I don't believe in ghosts. I don't believe in apparitions. I think people, either the two stone or someone's going on in their head, you know.

31:42 Right.

31:42 Adam Well, do you think you would go to hell if there was a hell?

31:45 Guest I think that have, I mean, the 11th of September was, if hell's worse than that, if there is a place called hell, I mean, I believe there's heaven and hell on this domain that we live in.

32:00 Right.

32:01 Adam This is it. This is hell.

32:02 Drew Hell since September 11th.

32:04 Guest That's not hell. I got McDonald's around the corner. So that's the thing.

32:08 Drew That's hell too.

32:09 Guest You know, with me, I like everything. That's right. The greatest single achievement of my life. I've had platinum dis, Grammy Awards, Walk of Fame, all this. I haven't smoked a cigarette in seven months. That's good. I started smoking when I was 12.

32:28 Guest Wow.

32:29 Guest I was smoking for 40 years. And don't ask me how I did that. If I believe there is a miracle, that is one.

32:39 Well, I'll tell you what. I prayed to God to win tickets to go see you in Tucson. And I told him, if there is a God, I will quit smoking the next day. And I won the ticket to go see you in Tucson.

32:50 Drew Wow.

32:50 Guest Great, great.

32:51 You know what? I'm quitting smoking November 1st.

32:54 Drew I'm going to quit tomorrow. You know what? I'm quitting next week.

32:57 Guest Now, you know what? When you're ready, if you're ready, you'll quit. You gotta be ready.

33:00 Drew I agree with you. That's right. You've got to be ready.

33:02 Guest I mean, what happened with me? I had the patch, I had the hypnosis, I had the acupuncture, I had the gum and everything. Until one day I just went, you know what? This is the last damn cigarette I'm ever going to put in my mouth. I threw it on the fire and I haven't touched one since. And I didn't go through any crazy withdrawal. I didn't go, you know, because I was ready to quit. I was ready, you know, it's kind of like, you know, you're not getting on with your partner anymore and you know the love is over, but you're sticking it out and then all of a sudden one day you go.

33:30 Adam That's how me and Drew are.

33:31 Drew Yeah, we keep sticking it out though.

33:33 Guest Yeah, but one day you'll say, you know what? I can't stand to be in another night with this person in my mouth.

33:38 Adam Right.

33:39 Drew That could be the knife.

33:41 Adam Alex, hey Alex, you're 17.

33:43 Caller Hi.

33:44 Caller What's up?

33:45 Caller I've been able to masturbate since I was eight. And I was just wondering if that would affect my sex drive.

33:51 Drew In what way? I mean, what is your...

33:53 Caller Well, just like, you know, when you're 40, you're supposed to be more sexually driven. And maybe that would come sooner or not at all.

33:59 Drew You're going to use up your orgasms or something?

34:01 Caller I don't know, because when I was younger, I used to masturbate at least twice a day for a long time. And now it's just like, it's not as often, like maybe once a week.

34:12 Drew Are you on medication?

34:13 Caller No.

34:14 Drew And are you sexually active with somebody?

34:17 Caller No, I've never had sex.

34:20 Drew And you weren't sexually abused or anything, sort of set you on a trajectory of excessive masturbation for a while?

34:25 Caller I don't think so.

34:26 Drew Was there anything crazy going on in your house, anything sort of over-arousing, stimulating? You know, was there a lot of chaos or family breaking apart or anything?

34:35 Caller Not at all. I just found myself very like, I don't know, I just fantasized a lot.

34:40 Adam Did you have an orgasm when you were eight?

34:42 Caller Oh yeah.

34:43 Adam Really?

34:43 Caller Heck yeah.

34:44 Adam How did you finish the third grade?

34:48 Guest If that was me at eight, I would have been still in the room. I wouldn't have ever gone out.

34:52 Adam Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

34:52 Guest When I found out what it was about, I thought, I've discovered magic.

34:57 Adam Your magic wand.

34:59 Magic wand makes my penis grow.

35:02 Adam All right, Alex, you're fine. Don't worry.

35:05 Guest Don't worry about it.

35:05 Guest It's normal.

35:06 Caller Adam, if you went to my high school, I'd definitely give you a BJ.

35:10 Guest Why?

35:11 Caller Oh, thank you.

35:12 Guest What is that? Give me some depth.

35:15 Adam She would give me a BJ., a blowjob, if I went to her high school.

35:19 Guest What do you want to do that for? You don't even know the guy.

35:22 Drew Really? Something happened now.

35:22 Guest You know me better.

35:24 Caller All right.

35:25 Adam Well, it'd be an honor.

35:27 Guest I think she's a little of a saint.

35:29 Adam Oh, you. I see. All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. The great Ozzy Osbourne is here tonight. His beautiful wife, Sharon, who reminds me of Arianna Huffington, a little bit younger, you know, she reminds me when she's going to take off at me now.

35:45 Guest Well, you are the weakest link. The woman.

35:48 Adam Oh, yes.

35:49 Guest How mean is that?

35:51 Adam But no, that's not bad.

35:52 Guest I think that woman is I think she's great. I don't know. Yeah, everybody. Everybody hates it. And I love her.

35:57 Drew Oh, no, she's great.

35:58 Adam She's attractive.

35:59 Guest You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

36:00 Adam She's attractive in an androgynous way. I think Sharon has a much more feminine angle.

36:06 Guest And also she's got my nuts in her hand as we speak.

36:08 Drew Well, that's the part you're sort of picking up on. The weakest link part. You're the weakest link.

36:12 Adam Drew's got to hit my nuts in his hand too. That's right. Let's take ourselves a little break. We'll be back with more Sharon and more Ozzy and more you. And we'll hear some stuff off the new CD all after this.

36:26 Guest Um, back in a minute.

36:56 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. It's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Steve's coming in here. The lead singer from Smash Mouth tomorrow night. Ozzy Osbourne is our guest tonight. The great Ozzy Osbourne and his beautiful wife slash manager Sharon is in here, as well as their Pomeranian dog.

37:15 Drew Is this what you mean by the tongue coming out right now?

37:18 Adam No, that's not what I mean. I like it when the Pomeranians close their mouth and their tongue hangs out.

37:22 Drew Sticks out, yeah.

37:23 Adam Yeah, like they're drunk or something.

37:25 Guest No, she doesn't do that.

37:26 Adam Down to Earth is the name of the CD. It is out tomorrow, which is almost here, about an hour and 15 minutes away on the West Coast. And tomorrow, we're going to be down at the Sunset Tower Records on Sunset at 5 o'clock doing a signing. And how does that work? Do you stay there until you've signed everything?

37:45 Guest Well, I try to, well, what I don't like to do, I don't like to advertise it and leave people disappointed. So I try with my damn list to sign at least one thing. But you see, when they come down, it's the people who bring their whole catalogue of this Black Sabbath year and all the bootlegs and whatever. I mean, I try and sign one thing only, because I'll be there all day just signing three people. So I think it's a photo. What did you say?

38:13 Guest It's actually a photo opportunity. Every person that gets in gets a photo with Ozzy.

38:19 Adam Yeah, Sharon, lean up on that mic, sorry.

38:21 Guest Yeah, everybody gets a photo taken with Ozzy.

38:24 Adam Oh, really?

38:25 Guest Yeah.

38:25 Adam Oh, you're going to be there for about 100 years, Ozzy, because there's going to be 15,000 people there.

38:30 Guest I hope so. It'll be nice.

38:32 Adam It'll be nice for about the first eight hours.

38:34 Guest No, but in the old days, we used to do that an awful lot. But, you know, it's some weird, weird, so you always get, I hope it goes without any problem or any hitches, you know.

38:45 Adam Well, let me ask you a question just popped in my head, and maybe it's a stupid one. But, you know, as Americans, we, you know, we think of Ozzy Osbourne as our own. Do you know what I'm saying?

38:56 Guest Well, you know what I am?

38:57 Adam You are?

38:58 Guest I look at myself as being Anglo-American. I mean, I spend a good, I spend more time in Los Angeles than I have in Great Britain.

39:07 Adam God bless you. But do you think, are you, where would you say you were bigger? Will you think you're bigger in England or bigger here?

39:14 Guest I mean, I'm recognized wherever I go, you know, wherever I go in the world, people go, are you Ozzy? I forget who I am. I just walk around and people go, it's Ozzy, you know. I really don't, I don't go out much. And I don't go to clubs anymore because I don't go to, I mean, if you're sitting there with a diet Pepsi, you're gonna go right and get, you know, you sit with them, at 11 o'clock you can understand people, but at 2 o'clock in the morning, the language goes drastically downhill.

39:41 Adam Do you, if you gotta go out somewhere and do something and you don't wanna be recognized, do you un-Ozzy yourself?

39:49 Guest Well, no, I really don't, I'm really, what did you say?

39:54 Caller A hermate.

39:56 Guest I don't, I don't, I don't go out much. See, my wife has just bought this house and spent X thousands of dollars on it.

40:03 Adam Millions on it.

40:04 Guest What's the point? My job is going out. What's the point when I come at home? Or when she goes, let's go out. And I go, I've been out for the last year and a half, you know.

40:12 Adam I'm saying, what if you gotta make a run to the market or something like that? I mean, I know you got people to do that.

40:16 Guest I love, you know, my biggest hobbies, I love food shopping. I love it, I love going out and doing food shopping.

40:23 Adam But if you don't want to get hassled, you put a hat on, do you take the shades off?

40:28 No?

40:28 Guest No, no, I don't. Because I'm, you know, as the album title goes, I like to be kind of down to earth. And if I'm, sometimes, off, Sharon goes, you better go back and sign that guy because the day they stop asking you for your autograph is the day you got a problem. I go, okay, okay, you know. All right, so she's like, choose me out, you know.

40:49 Drew Yeah, the manager.

40:50 Adam Yeah.

40:51 Guest No, she's a wife.

40:52 Drew And manager.

40:53 Adam Rules with an iron fist.

40:55 Guest Wife first. Sometimes I go, is she talking to me as a loving wife or a bastard manager?

41:02 Adam Or both.

41:03 Guest Yeah, or both.

41:04 Adam We're going to hear something off the new CD I was just informed in my earpiece there. This is called Down to Earth and the song is called Gets Me Through. Still got it after all these years. Sounding better than ever. Ozzy Osbourne is our guest tonight. That's the new CD out tomorrow, everybody. We're going to take ourselves a little break, and we're going to be back with Ozzy Osbourne, his beautiful wife Sharon, and Dr. Drew after this.

46:23 Guest All right, guys, here's the deal.

46:24 Caller You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

46:28 Drew One call is all you need to make. Call the Dateline.

46:30 Caller 877-889-DATE.

46:32 Drew Call the Dateline.

47:21 Adam Hey, everybody, it's the Loveline. We're back. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Steve is going to be in here from Smash Mouth tomorrow night. Tonight, we have the great Ozzy Osbourne on the show. His ageless wife, Sharon, who looks exactly the same as she did in whatever pictures I saw behind the music from 20 years ago. And their ageless Pomeranian pup who's manning the mic. What's the dog's name?

47:54 Guest Minnie.

47:55 Adam Minnie. Very fitting.

47:57 Guest Minnie me.

47:59 Adam And the CD is out today if you're listening on the East Coast and tomorrow or an hour, the 16th, yes, the 16th of October is when the new CD is out down to earth. Ozzy is going to be at the Tower Records on Sunset out here in Los Angeles tomorrow, starting at 5 o'clock. He's going to do a photo op and hopefully you will be moved in and out of there so that the 10,000 of you who show up can get through there in a timely way, right, Drew?

48:29 Drew Good.

48:32 Guest If more than 10,000 or less, there's many people turn up, I'm going to try to see everybody, you know.

48:39 Adam Good, yes.

48:40 Guest I don't want anyone to be standing in line, walk away, do disappointed, you know.

48:44 Adam Right. So they will...

48:46 Guest Straight up, I'm getting a plane to New York, so it doesn't really matter what, as long as they're there. Some people are very clever, you know, they sort of get back online again, get another album signed. Right. That's when it gets a bit unfair to the rest of the people.

49:07 Adam And let me put this warning out to you who are going to try to do that. Ozzy does not forget a face. He forgets a book.

49:14 Guest No, Minnie doesn't forget a face.

49:17 Adam And Minnie does not forget a face. And Minnie will be guarding Ozzy. And Minnie will latch on to your liver and not let go if you try to double up in that line. But I'm guessing the line will be long enough so there will not be an opportunity for people to go through it twice. Again, that's tomorrow night at the Tower on Sunset, starting at 5 o'clock. Let's get back on the phones and speak to Kevin. Who's 20, Kevin?

49:40 Caller Hey, what's up, Adam?

49:41 Caller Dr. Drew?

49:42 Drew Hey, Kevin.

49:43 Caller What's up, Ozzy?

49:44 Guest How you doing?

49:45 Caller I saw you about three years ago at Harmony House in Taylor. I waited about six hours to get your autograph.

49:51 Adam And did he sign it?

49:53 Caller Yeah. Pretty cool. Back when Black Sabbath and Got Back Together, all that. But I got a question for Dr. Drew. Recently I found out I have Hepatitis C. And my girlfriend, she's like my hip to drugs or nothing like that.

50:13 Drew You're an IV drug user?

50:15 Caller Yeah. Well, I'm on methadone right now. But I mean, I don't shoot up anymore.

50:22 Adam So you got the hepatitis from shooting up?

50:24 Caller Right.

50:25 Drew That's where it comes from. But you can transmit it sexually, at least theoretically.

50:29 Caller Yeah.

50:29 Drew So you have an obligation to tell her about that?

50:32 Caller Yeah. I'm kind of scared to tell her because she don't even know about the methadone or anything like that. She knows I go get something in the morning and go somewhere.

50:41 Drew Don't you think it's important that she knows?

50:43 Guest You know, what I've learned about methadone, a lot of people when I've been in rehabs have been on methadone, have said to me that coming off methadone is worse than getting off heroin.

50:54 Drew Oh, it's the worst drug of all to come off of. By far, it's the worst.

50:59 Caller I was clean for almost a year and it's just like I went back to getting high again and it's just like I can't quit.

51:06 Drew Were you in the program or just not?

51:08 Caller Yeah, I was in NA. I had a sponsor.

51:10 Adam So Kevin, your girlfriend thinks you're a successful attorney or what does she think you are? You must have a clue.

51:18 Caller I sell windows.

51:19 Drew I sell windows.

51:19 Caller I sell siding and roofing.

51:21 Adam Okay, so I think junkie would be a step up at this point.

51:25 Caller Right.

51:26 Adam I mean, I don't think you're going to disappoint her. She's in love with you and you're selling siding.

51:30 Drew Right. And methadone, even though I hate it and I'm glad you're Ozzy too, it is a rational thing to do, you know, if you're really having trouble.

51:38 Guest It's just a substitute for heroin.

51:40 Drew It absolutely is. I don't recommend it. It's not something that I adhere to. But if this man's life was in danger from his heroin use and this keeps him safe at least, well, okay. I agree with you though, I don't.

51:53 Guest I've met a lot of junkies one time in rehab and they've told me that methadone was the worst of anything.

52:02 Drew It can last a week.

52:02 Guest And an actual fact, I knew junkies that would trade their heroin to people that were getting methadone, swap the heroin for the methadone.

52:12 Drew And it's real variable how bad the withdrawal is for methadone. Some people get through it in a week or two and are okay. Some go awful for two months. I mean, awful.

52:21 Guest All right. I had a thing with the Kalanapin. I got myself well-schooled with it.

52:26 Drew That stuff takes a year before your brain's back normal again.

52:29 Guest No, I'm taking it for life now, whether I like it or not.

52:34 Adam What do you do with the Kalanapin, Drew?

52:37 Guest I started to panic attacks and it was like for anxiety at first.

52:41 Guest It's what it really is.

52:42 Guest It's like a supersonic valium. It's like a-

52:45 Drew Long acting valium.

52:46 Adam But you take it before you go out on stage or something.

52:48 Drew No, no, no, that's enderall you're thinking of.

52:50 Adam Enderall? All right. Sorry.

52:52 Guest Enderall is a joke, man.

52:54 Adam Oh, it is? It doesn't work?

52:56 Guest Can I just say something here? That guy lying to his girlfriend, you need your ass kicked.

53:02 Drew There you go. Plus, endangering her life.

53:04 Guest Yeah, really. I mean, he really does. It's not fair at all.

53:08 Drew It's not right, Audrey.

53:10 Adam All right. So come clean with that. So the Kalanapin, how much of that do you take?

53:15 Drew And by the way, she no doubt has an alcoholic dad that she's...

53:18 Adam It's probably a reason she's attracted to this character in the first place. That's right. How much Kalanapin do you take? You take it every day?

53:24 Guest Two milligrams a day.

53:25 Drew Bedtime.

53:26 Adam And that's bad? Bedtime.

53:29 Guest I've tried coming up, but I literally... I can't live with that. I just wreck my brain cells for a little while. I mean, the deal is whatever you do to excess, if you play now, you pay later. I mean, none of us gets out of here alive. And if you abuse drugs or alcohol or anything, eventually, you're going to get a big payback time.

53:53 Drew Last time I met you, you were actually complaining about depression.

53:57 Guest I'm now on two different anti-depressions, on Zoloft and another one with a sedative to it. Because what I developed was... about three years ago, I started to get this tremor, and I started to freak out. I went to a neurologist, and I had an MRI, and he told me that I haven't got Parkinson's. I heard them going, my God, I got Parkinson's. I couldn't stop shaking. And what I developed is a non-specific hereditary tremor, which is a medication called Mycelin. I take that three times a day now.

54:33 Adam Thank God you're living in this age, though. You would have been screwed.

54:36 Guest I forget it, man.

54:37 Adam Just 25 years ago, right?

54:38 Guest Then I phoned my sister, and I go... I would say to my sister, Gene, I said, You know, I've just been diagnosed, and I had a red t-tremens. She goes, Oh, not you as well. I go, What do you mean, not me as well? You're Uncle George, how do you know? She reels up all these family members. And I go, Well, don't you think somebody should have told me about 29? Sometime in your life, you might start gistering about the planet, you know, don't worry, you know? I was freaking out. I thought, my God.

55:04 Drew Does your neurologist know you're taking all that clonopin, though?

55:06 Guest Yeah. I mean, I...

55:07 Drew That combo can be a little dangerous.

55:09 Guest I've got a pill guy, I've got a psychiatrist, he's a pill guy who puts me on, you know, puts me on... I'm on Seroquel as well.

55:16 Drew Seroquel. So, Seroquel make tremor worse sometimes, don't it?

55:20 Guest Yeah, it does sometimes.

55:21 Guest When I take the Seroquel, I get tremored more than I calm it down.

55:24 Drew Yeah. It's good medicine.

55:25 Guest Yeah.

55:26 Drew So, Seroquel is all off mycelin and clonopin.

55:29 Guest Yeah.

55:30 Adam All right. Oh, I just got to hand in a note here that says, the CD does not go on sale tonight at midnight. On sale Tuesday at 9 a.m., Tuesday the 16th at 9 a.m. That's what is written down here, so the 16th, that's tomorrow for a lot of you.

55:46 Drew But that's good. You were complaining about feeling not good, and now you're feeling good.

55:50 Guest What do you mean?

55:51 Adam Well, seven years ago.

55:52 Drew Seven years ago, you were complaining about what you said was, all you want to do is be able to enjoy.

55:56 Guest You know what? We were down to the presses. It screws your sex life up.

55:59 Drew Yes, it does. It can.

56:01 Guest I mean, I've now got a bunch of those.

56:05 Drew Viagra.

56:06 Guest Viagra. I'm all loaded. I'm no fire blanks, you know.

56:13 Adam Yeah, but as long as you think the gun's going off, that's good enough.

56:16 Drew You feel the gun going off.

56:17 Guest You try antidepressant. You go on antidepressants. It's like sex just dies, man.

56:24 Drew Yeah, it does. It can.

56:26 Adam Yeah.

56:26 Drew It's even worse for women, that stuff.

56:28 Guest No, it's not.

56:29 Drew No, the Zoloft and those medicines are turning the sex drive off.

56:32 Guest No, I'm on Zoloft.

56:33 Drew It didn't do it to you.

56:34 Guest No, I'm jumping all over my husband and he's snoring.

56:38 Adam Where's the dog?

56:39 Guest No, no, no. I'll go, tonight's the night, honey, and so she is.

56:47 Adam Well, it's nice to hear those are universal problems. You don't let him take the Viagra if he goes on the road without you.

56:55 Guest No, it's just she goes on the road.

56:57 Guest No, but he started to take Viagra and we would wait and wait for it to work. I'd fall asleep and he'd be there with a big boner and I'm fast asleep and he can't wake me up.

57:09 Guest I'm going, Sharon, I'm ready. She's going, get lost. I'm lying here like I'm camping with the temple. I'm all boned out, no where to go. I'm looking at Minnie, she's going, not me.

57:22 Adam Now, how long does the Viagra, not again, she said, how long does the Viagra take to kick in?

57:27 Guest Well, I learned that they're coming out with a new one, which is a nose spray Viagra. It's called Pinocchio.

57:37 Adam Really?

57:38 Guest No.

57:39 Guest That would be good. I was taking as many as five, and one night I got two stuck in my throat, and it's a stiff neck for about a month.

57:50 Adam Where's the high hat when you need it?

57:51 Guest Yeah, we need that.

57:52 Guest Sting.

57:54 Adam So you put the spray right up the urethra or you put it up your nose?

57:57 Drew No, to get the muse for up the urethra. There's that, you ever tried that?

57:59 Guest What?

58:00 Drew There's stuff that works.

58:02 Adam We actually checked it in your?

58:03 Drew No, you pushed it up into your urethra.

58:04 Guest In your bum?

58:05 Drew In your urethra.

58:06 Adam No, that's the hole in the penis.

58:08 Guest Oh, okay.

58:10 Guest That's the one-eyed trousers, Mike.

58:14 Adam All right.

58:14 Drew But let me finish my line. What I was trying to say is that you look like you feel so much better than the last time you and I spoke. It's striking, so it's nice.

58:23 Guest But I'm not, see, I used to do a lot of screwing around with my medication because my head would go, you're not sexually active, so my head would start thinking, but if I'm not sexually active, it's not going to be too long since my wife starts to wander around looking for something else. So I would start messing around with my medication, and I'd end up freaked out. If I don't take my medication, you got a total basket case. I mean, seriously.

58:50 Drew I remember you said, I'll always remember this, that you had trouble being able to enjoy. All you wanted to do is go fishing with your son and be able to enjoy it. That's what you said to me.

59:00 Guest Yeah, but let me tell you, let me tell you what happened for a minute. We go to the Caribbean after that. And I said, and I go, I go, I know what I'm going to do. Now's the day. I'm going to finally take my son fishing. So I get a boat. They all go, can I come, dad? My two daughters, my wife, my nanny. So they all get on the boat. We got about three. We got a tray, trays of cooked chicken and salad. We get about 30 yards out and they're all going, oh, my son and son are suddenly too fishy. They're all dying, lying in pools of puke. And I'm going, so much for my fantastic fishing trip with my son. And I go, come on, we all go on the boat. They're all throwing up all over the place. The exorcist goes fishing.

59:47 Adam Biting the head off the fish. All right. We will take ourselves a call for Ozzy. Andrew.

59:53 Caller Hey, how the hell are you guys doing? Good.

59:54 Guest Hi, Andrew.

59:55 Adam I'm having a good time.

59:56 Caller How are you doing? Good times. I have a couple of questions, actually. But first, I'd like to say hi to Drew and Adam, of course. Good times.

1:00:04 Drew Hey, we're coming out there, aren't we?

1:00:05 Caller Yeah, yeah. You guys are. I know Ozzy is. You guys are coming with him?

1:00:09 Drew No, no, we're coming out there in January.

1:00:11 Adam We're a team now. We're going to open for him.

1:00:13 Caller That'd be great. I can deal with that. You were amazing on Howard the other way, by the way, Adam.

1:00:18 Adam Oh, thanks. Yeah, we did. Me and Jimmy did Howard Sterner for a couple days, a couple weeks ago. Thank you, Andrew.

1:00:24 Caller Hello, Sharon. How are you doing?

1:00:26 Guest I'm fine. Thank you.

1:00:27 Caller That's great. I was just calling to tell you Ozzy, I've had the new album for the last two weeks. I haven't had it, but where I work at has it. And I've been jamming it out every day.

1:00:35 Drew Do you work at a radio station or something?

1:00:37 Caller I work at a stupid retail store. I probably shouldn't have said that, but I work at a retail store.

1:00:41 Guest You work at a very good retail store, because if you don't listen, you might get fired tomorrow.

1:00:45 Caller What did he say?

1:00:46 Drew And they have his album, after all.

1:00:48 Caller We've been blogging it in the store and listening to it. It's somewhat up. To me, it's like reminiscent of The Beatles, kind of. I'm not saying you're ripping off The Beatles, but it's got that vibe to it.

1:00:57 Guest Well, I'm a big Beatles fan, and anything that you like somewhere is going to come out in your music. It's going to come out, not intentionally, but whatever you like. It's bound to come out somewhere.

1:01:09 Caller It's amazing. It's got real heart behind it and whatnot. I'm speechless on how it came out.

1:01:15 Drew Did you want to ask something about the album cover?

1:01:18 Caller Yeah. As a matter of fact, I was curious how that concept came up, and I know I read the artist's name there, but how was that done?

1:01:25 Guest Well, there was this photographer. What was his name, the photographer?

1:01:27 Guest Nitin.

1:01:28 Guest A guy called Nitin, who was an English guy, and he said he was talking about these different concept. He had for an album of photographers. What am I trying to say?

1:01:40 Guest All right. He came up with the idea of X-raying Ozzy's body. So every part of Ozzy's body was X-rayed, and then he superimposed Ozzy's tattoos onto the X-ray.

1:01:54 Guest But I was worried because he was saying to me, I said, isn't it dangerous for someone to be in an X-ray room for more than so many hours or minutes? And as he spoke to me through a 16 inch plate glass window, he said, no, it's fine. We're going to be just fine.

1:02:09 Guest Three hours later Ozzy was still in there being X-rayed.

1:02:13 Drew What kind of X-ray were they doing for three hours?

1:02:15 Guest But every different angle and every part of his body.

1:02:18 Drew That's not so good.

1:02:19 Guest I know.

1:02:20 Drew Were they doing fluoroscopy or was it actually X-ray?

1:02:22 Guest Actually X-ray. We didn't have the bedside lamp on that night. It was glowing all night.

1:02:29 Adam Well, see look, he is a true artist who gives to his craft. Wow. It looks, I'll tell you, I'm looking at it right now and it looks, I don't know, it was worth the cancer, I guess what I'm saying.

1:02:43 Drew For the rest of us.

1:02:44 Adam Really turns out great. Ozzy's loss.

1:02:46 Guest Thanks a lot, man. I'm going to go home tonight. I'm Mr. Hypochondriac. I'm going to say, listen to my chest, can you hear cancer?

1:02:53 Drew Now, Drew, I'll get my stethoscope in the break.

1:02:55 Adam Check you out before you leave. I'll give you a clean bill of hell. You're going on forever. If you were going to die, it would have been 20 years ago. That's what I'm saying. Jamie?

1:03:06 Caller Yeah.

1:03:06 Adam What's up?

1:03:07 Caller Hi everybody. I have a question about General Wood. I was diagnosed with him today and I've been with the same person for four years. He's the only person I've been with.

1:03:19 Drew Well, he's got him too.

1:03:21 Caller Okay. I figured that. But I just was wondering, the nurse practitioner said that he couldn't be tested for it. I was wondering if that was true.

1:03:30 Drew Well, you don't see anything, right? No. The first thing is inspection. Somebody who knows what to look for should look at him. Then there is a technique where they can pour some acetic acid over the penis and then shine this black light. We did this with Adam.

1:03:45 Adam Drew did it to me on the air. It's not painful physically, but emotionally, it will tear you apart.

1:03:51 Drew Yeah, it really got to me.

1:03:52 Guest Oh, Jesus Christ.

1:03:53 Adam I just dumped the acid all over my penis.

1:03:56 Drew Yeah, that was it. That was the night.

1:03:58 Adam Right. Then they shine a black light on it. If anything...

1:04:02 Guest To find out...

1:04:03 Adam See if there is any warts.

1:04:05 Drew Pre-wart changes.

1:04:06 Adam Something you couldn't see with the naked eye, in other words.

1:04:09 Guest Is that like a herpes?

1:04:10 Drew No, it's like a wart.

1:04:12 Adam It's a wart.

1:04:14 Guest Is it harmful?

1:04:15 Drew It's bad for women because it causes cervical cancer.

1:04:17 Guest Oh, really?

1:04:18 Guest Is it sexually transmitted?

1:04:19 Drew It's the most common sexually transmitted disease.

1:04:23 Adam No, I didn't have it.

1:04:24 Drew Yeah, sure.

1:04:25 Adam You guys are looking at me like you're gonna get warts from me.

1:04:29 Drew He had a suspicious lesion on the stunt penis. It wasn't even his penis.

1:04:32 Adam Drew didn't believe it was my penis. It was so pristine. It was so low mileage. It was mint. He thought it had been rebuilt. I said, no, it's just kept in the garage. It has almost no mileage on it.

1:04:43 Guest You know, when I became 45, I started to have the prostrate thing. There were so many guys.

1:04:49 Drew Good times.

1:04:50 Guest There were so many guys. I go, do you have a prostate check? And they go, what's that?

1:04:56 Drew All men get prostate problems eventually.

1:04:58 Guest I mean, now you have a blood test.

1:05:04 Drew What's for cancer? But the prostate stuff makes you have to pee every five minutes.

1:05:08 Guest I've got to, what's the other thing my doctor was telling me? There's a thing for testing your colon. This is a camera lens.

1:05:16 Drew Well, colonoscopy, you need to have that.

1:05:18 Guest Every how often?

1:05:20 Drew Every five years.

1:05:21 Guest Oh, well, I've got to be done for the first year yet.

1:05:24 Drew You've got to do that. That's a hard one.

1:05:26 Guest Voids to the bottom of the seat.

1:05:28 Drew It is a void. You'll go to sleep for that one. They do the whole colon to put you out.

1:05:31 Adam It's not the camera.

1:05:32 Drew Not anesthesia, but you're asleep during the thing.

1:05:34 Adam The camera's not too bad, but the sound crew. That'll ruin you. With the boom mic, it's tough. The whole crew has got to get up there. All right. Hey, Jamie?

1:05:44 Drew Is that it?

1:05:45 Adam Yeah, that's it.

1:05:46 Caller Okay. Actually, I had another question. I was wondering if it could affect my reproductive system.

1:05:51 Drew Well, it can in the sense that you can now be at... You are possibly at added risk for cervical cancer. I mean, the wart virus that tends to stick around and not go away is the one that seems to be associated with the cancers. And if they have to do the kinds of procedures that are necessary to take the cancer away, that can sometimes affect cervical competency. But it's not a big deal. So these are common, common, common things. You got to get regular pap smears. That's all this amounts to.

1:06:16 Guest All right.

1:06:17 Adam Let's talk to Troy, who's 26. Troy?

1:06:20 Guest Yeah.

1:06:20 Adam What's up?

1:06:22 Guest I just had a question about my girlfriend. She's 21 and we've been going out for like two years. But within the last like six months, she's wet the bed twice.

1:06:35 Adam Yeah. Does she have a prostate?

1:06:38 Drew No.

1:06:39 Adam Women don't have that.

1:06:39 Drew Women don't have a prostate.

1:06:41 Adam Well, can't be that. And what do you think? Is she dreaming she's on the toilet because I do that?

1:06:46 Guest Yeah. Yeah. She does that.

1:06:48 Drew How do you know? Does she tell you that?

1:06:50 Guest Yeah. She told me.

1:06:51 Adam Yeah. That's what happened. I've dreamt I was on the toilet and wet the bed so many times that I actually now dream I'm in bed and dreaming that I'm on the toilet. I've actually added a third step to it and still do it. There's nothing worse because you inevitably wake up in the middle of it.

1:07:04 Guest I don't dream until I just wet the bed.

1:07:07 Adam Well, your whole house is a toilet. You're rich.

1:07:09 Guest When he first did that, I thought it was some sort of sexual thing. And I'm like, oh, what's he doing? This is nice. I had my back to him and he was just loaded on me. Didn't even know. And I'm like, oh, this feels so good. What is this? And then his, you know, his eyes are all back out of his mind.

1:07:27 Guest I have a case of booze and I'm just going, you asshole.

1:07:32 Guest The piece of scotch.

1:07:34 Guest Oh, really?

1:07:35 Caller Wow.

1:07:36 Guest You know, I got to tell you this too. When I used to make my own cigarettes, right?

1:07:41 Caller Roll them.

1:07:42 Guest I used to roll my hands, roll cigarettes. One morning, she came into this rehearsal place and I couldn't find my tobacco. And I pulled the bedding clothes back and stuck to her butt. You know, these big lumber tobacco had come out of the pouch and stuck to her butt. I was thinking, she's going to wake up and kill me, you know. So it was like Mission Impossible. I was like getting this flat piece of tobacco and I put it back in the pouch and smoked it. Then nothing had happened.

1:08:07 Drew Lucky you did his lighter rear.

1:08:08 Guest Yes, lucky.

1:08:10 Adam Yeah, you just smoke it right out of the ass. So you've done this bed wedding too?

1:08:17 Guest Oh yeah, when I used to get stoned all the time, passed out.

1:08:22 Adam Right. Yeah, I've done it sober, unfortunately, quite a few times too.

1:08:26 Guest That was a good indication of a problem, you know. Right.

1:08:29 Adam Yeah, when you're wedding things. Wait, I want to tell, who were we talking to? Was it Troy?

1:08:34 Drew Troy, yeah.

1:08:34 Adam Yeah, let's talk to him for a second.

1:08:36 Guest Yeah.

1:08:36 Adam So, you want to know, is she getting loaded?

1:08:40 Guest What's that?

1:08:40 Drew Is she drunk when she wets the bed?

1:08:42 Guest No.

1:08:44 Drew And has she had a lifelong problem with this?

1:08:47 Guest Actually, she said that she did. Well, she used to wet the bed up until, I think, around, like, 12, occasionally, not like that often.

1:08:56 Adam And how often does it happen now?

1:08:58 Guest Well, it's happened twice, like, within the last six months.

1:09:01 Adam Yeah, so, and it freaks you out because you're sleeping weather?

1:09:04 Guest Yeah.

1:09:05 Adam Yeah. Can you wake her up in the middle? You don't know when it's going to happen, though.

1:09:09 Guest Yeah, I don't know when it's happened. I just feel a wet spot on my hand over there.

1:09:12 Adam Hey, Drew, what if, can she put, like, a roll of tube socks in there?

1:09:16 Guest What about a diaper?

1:09:18 Adam Yeah, a diaper or something?

1:09:19 Drew Depends. Do you want to stop her up, Adam? Is that it? Just cram something in there?

1:09:23 Guest Right.

1:09:23 Adam Will it come out of her ear?

1:09:24 Guest Super glue!

1:09:26 Caller Yeah.

1:09:27 Guest Well, that's interesting, but I thought that, uh...

1:09:30 Adam Drew, what about some, what, what, is this a sleep disorder, Drew, do you think?

1:09:34 Drew Maybe. I don't know.

1:09:35 Guest Is she taking sleeping pills?

1:09:37 Guest No.

1:09:38 Adam No, so she's not intoxicated when she goes down.

1:09:41 Guest She's absolutely stone cold, so she's not taking Valium, she's not taking sleeping pills, over-the-counter sleeping medication.

1:09:48 Drew Nothing like that, right?

1:09:49 Guest No puff, no booze.

1:09:50 Drew Well, you know, there are women that can have bladder disorders that can predispose to this, and there are emotional conditions that can cause it as well. And if she's had it her whole life, you wonder if it's not some residual emotional issue. Is there something going on with her?

1:10:01 Guest But isn't there an advert on the TV for that? You have to get people to go to the bathroom quite frequently.

1:10:08 Adam Yeah, but those are like people in their 80s.

1:10:11 Drew Yeah, there's death trawl and things like that. There's medicines for this. It depends what the issue is with her bladder. The young person, you gotta sort of make the diagnosis.

1:10:18 Adam Hey, Troy? Yeah. Yeah, we don't have a great answer for you.

1:10:22 Drew She, I mean, she'd have to be evaluated to find out what's going on here. The stuff you can take to even make you stop producing urine during the night, so there's nothing to pee out.

1:10:30 Adam Okay. Now, good times there, buddy. Sorry about that. She got like a lemon. That's all. Broken defective girlfriend.

1:10:39 Drew The gasket's blown.

1:10:40 Adam Right. You gotta work with it. Ozzy Osbourne is our guest tonight. His lovely wife Sharon is in here, too, as well as Minnie, their beautiful five-year-old palmeraneum. We're going to, uh, who Ozzy thinks is two years old, but in actuality, he's 35 and dog years. So you're like, you're 33 years off, Ozzy. We're going to take a little break. We'll hear something off the new CD when we come back and more with Ozzy and you after this. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. We're honored to have the great Ozzy Osbourne with us tonight. Down to Earth is the name of the CD. Gonna be at Tower Records on Sunset tomorrow at 5 o'clock. I got to hand it a note here. And these are all the different places you can find Ozzy doing in stores coming up. On October 17th, he's gonna be at Vintage Vinyl in New Jersey. On the 18th, he's gonna be at Looney Tunes in Long Beach, sorry, Long Island. And Friday the 19th, Tower Records in, well, says in East.

1:12:22 Guest Hmm.

1:12:23 Drew What, in Washington?

1:12:24 Adam I don't know. Take a look at this. And then Saturday on the 20th, they'll be at...

1:12:29 Guest Philadelphia.

1:12:30 Adam Rolling Stone Records in...

1:12:33 Guest Chicago. The one before is Philadelphia.

1:12:35 Adam Oh, Philadelphia.

1:12:36 Guest Yeah.

1:12:37 Adam All right. So, gonna cover some ground. You got a... You fly commercial or you have your own jet, right?

1:12:45 Guest Sony let me use their jet.

1:12:48 Adam You're not flying it yourself, though, are you?

1:12:50 Guest Oh, no.

1:12:51 Adam Good, good. But I bet if you wanted to get up there, somewhere in the flight, they'd let you, you know, get behind the stick.

1:12:57 Guest They'll let the pilots do the part, what they do.

1:13:00 Guest Hold on here. Do you want to hear another Wee Wee story?

1:13:03 Adam Yeah.

1:13:04 Guest Okay. Two summers ago, we were coming back on our charter jet we had, and it was the end of the tour, and everybody was celebrating, we're going home, we're going home, and so Ozzy and I had a little bit of wine, and Ozzy tends to sleepwalk, and he fell asleep on the plane, and-

1:13:26 Guest But I was on chlorohydrate as well.

1:13:27 Guest Yeah, but you do sleepwalk a lot, and he pulled out his willy because he thought he was going to the bathroom, but he's in the cockpit.

1:13:36 Adam Oh, well-

1:13:37 Guest With his willy in his hand, and he was going to pee-pee over all the controls.

1:13:40 Adam But they put the word cockpit in it, and that seems- That would be confusing.

1:13:45 Drew And pit.

1:13:45 Adam And pit.

1:13:46 Guest Unacceptable.

1:13:47 Adam If you can't pee in a place called- The pit.

1:13:50 Guest Where can you pee?

1:13:51 Adam You know what I mean? Forget about what you know about airplanes. Just know what you know about the English language.

1:13:56 Drew But imagine what might have happened to the whole operation.

1:13:59 Guest If he'd have peed all over the controls.

1:14:01 Drew Do you know what Sharon says with glee?

1:14:02 Adam It would have been a very graceful way to go, if the plane had went down.

1:14:07 Guest I wouldn't have known. I was already gone.

1:14:10 Guest Still sleepwalking.

1:14:12 Adam That would have been great news. Really.

1:14:15 Guest Ozzy would have gone with his penis stuck in the controls of the Learjet or something.

1:14:21 Adam I'll tell you, as a big time rock star, you hear about choking on the vomit or choking on the ham sandwich. This would trump all of those. Ozzy shorted out the navigation system and the plane went down because he'd urinated on the control board.

1:14:39 Guest The urination eventually got the better of him. Died with his will.

1:14:45 Adam They'd interview friends and family. I knew urine would kill him one day. I always warned him.

1:14:50 Drew He had such a prostate problem.

1:14:51 Adam His doctor. All right. Let's take a call and then we'll hear something else off the new CD. Cameron?

1:14:58 Guest Hey.

1:14:58 Adam You're 20. What's up?

1:15:00 Guest Yeah.

1:15:00 Caller Well, first of all, I wanted to say I love the show. The show, guys. Dr. Drew, Adam, you guys rule, but.

1:15:05 Adam Thank you.

1:15:05 Caller Ozzy?

1:15:06 Yeah.

1:15:06 Caller I've been a fan of you since I can't even remember when. And my question was actually for you. Well, there's two questions. I was expecting. I was asking what we can expect from this new album. Is it going to be more like Osmosis or is it?

1:15:20 Guest No, no, it's nothing like Osmosis. It's kind of, what would you describe it, Cameron?

1:15:25 Guest It's more like No More Tears.

1:15:27 Guest More like More No More Tears, she says.

1:15:29 Caller Nice. One of my favorite albums. And the second question is, I'm going to get tickets to your show when you come through here in Albuquerque, New Mexico. And I was kind of wondering what to expect from that concert. Is it going to be more new stuff, more old stuff?

1:15:44 Guest You know, the thing is, I've got so much, so much material to choose from. There's going to be a little bit of new stuff, a little bit of the old classics, a little bit of Sabbath. You know, I'm going to try and do a bit of everything, you know.

1:15:57 Caller I caught Ozfest in 97, the first Black Sabbath reunion tour in Vegas, and that was just, that was incredible.

1:16:04 Guest Thank you.

1:16:05 Adam Hey, I think he was bringing up some Kalanapurna.

1:16:11 Guest No, I've got to tell you, I've been on the go all day.

1:16:14 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah, listen, I've said this a million times, and we're not even real celebrities, but even we don't get to sleep sometimes. And one of the things they don't tell you about celebrity is you don't get to sleep that much.

1:16:26 Guest Well, you see, when he's on his album, you know, I've forgotten what the pressure was like when he's on his album, because I haven't had an album for six years, you know, and suddenly I'm doing in stores, and I'm doing phone interviews, radios, and you go on tilt at the end of the day, you know? Right. You don't know where you are, you know? So talking about the same album, and what you think about this album. I mean, the one thing that I've been touching quite a lot on is like, what I've been saying to people, when this world tried to go to the terrorist attack, all I did for the first three weeks was watch the news all day, all night. And I started to become very irritated, and my sleep pattern was changed, and I didn't feel like I fit, my skin felt crawly, you know? Right. So I went to my doctor, and he said to me, do you watch, you've been watching the news? And I said, yeah. He said, well, I'll tell you what, don't watch the news, just don't watch the news, you'll feel a lot better. And then I thought, Sharon says to me, what do you want to do about this tour coming up? And I said, you know what, I gotta go out there and do my tour because, you know, I cannot let these people stop me working, you know. You cannot let these terrorists stop you. I mean, America has definitely changed after the incident that happened, definitely.

1:17:51 Adam But it's a ripple effect because if you don't do your tour, then there's a few million people who don't get about with their life, which is seeing you on your tour.

1:18:01 Guest What I'm saying is even if you're not on Ozzy Phone, just go to your football games, get out. Just don't sit watching the news because the news is all bad, man.

1:18:11 Adam Right. Now, do you mean soccer or do you mean football?

1:18:13 Guest Football, soccer, whatever, baseball, basketball, whatever you want to call it, whatever you'd like to watch, whatever your favorite thing is.

1:18:23 Drew I was going to pee together, I want you to know.

1:18:25 Guest Oh, you did?

1:18:25 Drew We had a bath from reunion.

1:18:26 Adam Did he pee on you?

1:18:28 Guest No, he invited me into the men's room, which is more than one place to pee.

1:18:32 Drew So, we peed together and we talked about this and I appreciate him. I think when the rubber hits the road, if you're in the public domain, this is when you need to get up and get on planes and go perform.

1:18:44 Guest Because my drummer flies back to San Francisco every weekend, he lives there. He said, every time I get on a plane, there's only me on the plane. Nobody is flying.

1:18:56 Drew Not to go from the sublime to the ridiculous, but Bob Hope, that's what he did. He got on a plane and went over there and entertain because people needed him. That's what he did and they needed him there and he did it.

1:19:06 Adam Is he drumming for Ozzy?

1:19:07 Drew Yeah, he was in the Sabbath.

1:19:09 Adam I didn't know Bob Hope was in that bed. Yes, we all need to go about our lives.

1:19:17 Guest In Great Britain, we've had terrorism all my life for the IRA. In Europe, we had terrorism in Europe for a long time. In America, it's the only thing anybody ever gets used to having terrorism.

1:19:35 Adam To be fair to us, we didn't have terrorism, but to make up for it, we had school kids shooting each other, which was sort of a way to supplement our homeland terror, you know. We create our own terror.

1:19:49 Guest You're right.

1:19:49 Guest But the great thing about America is that everybody has their freedom to do what they want and you can't allow anybody to stop that. And so you have to keep, I mean, that's what America is built on.

1:20:01 Adam Yeah. And I think, I mean, for the most part, that's the way it's going. I know people are scared oftentimes, but it hasn't affected a lot of people I know in terms of their schedule. Emotionally, it has, but they've been going about their business.

1:20:15 Guest I mean, for the first two weeks, I don't know about you, I was completely in shock. I was disbelieved when we were in New York and the Twin Towers collapsed. I was like, my God, they've come down.

1:20:29 Guest I think people are frightened right now.

1:20:31 Adam Oh, they definitely are. But I think they're going to work. You know what I mean?

1:20:35 Guest You've got to have some, what I'm saying is you've got to have some form of release. You can't stay in your own head.

1:20:40 Drew But that's what you're providing.

1:20:42 Guest That's what I'm trying to do. That's why it's important to have them do it. Do you think people will come to the concerts? Because I don't want to plug them into the halls. No, they'll come out.

1:20:51 Adam You have a very ballsy audience, I think. I think your audience, more than almost any audience, will come out. Do you know what I mean? I hope you're right. The graphic is people that stare death in the eye on a daily basis. That may be what attracts them to you. You know what I mean? You don't have pussies for fans.

1:21:13 Guest I wouldn't believe to stare death in the eyes.

1:21:17 Adam No, I mean, I don't want to quite go into an Ozzy Osbourne concert with cheating death or staring death in the eye, but what I'm saying is, your audience...

1:21:25 Guest Not like the Britney Spears audience, right?

1:21:27 Adam Right. Because the Britney Spears audience, their parents may say, no, you can't go or we're not going to take you.

1:21:34 Drew You can't go away from us. We'd have to go with you, right?

1:21:37 Adam Right. Your audience shows up three hours earlier, gets loaded out in the parking lot, urinates on themselves, and then heads in and stares death in the eye. That's why they're attracted to you. So you don't have to worry about your audience. We love them. Thank you.

1:21:50 Guest That's a nice little thing. I'll sleep nice next time. I'll probably urinate more to make it feel better.

1:21:56 Adam Do it for me. Give her a spurt for me. First ounce on me. All right, we're going to take a break, and then I promise we'll hear something else off the new Ozzy Osbourne CD right after this.

1:22:06 Guest You're going to go put on your own break now?

1:22:08 Adam Yeah, let's go.

1:22:09 Drew I'm taking you.

1:22:09 Guest Let's go.

1:22:09 Drew The three of us.

1:22:10 Adam Here we go. No, I just went, but you go again. Tell me what his penis looks like.

1:22:15 Drew Hello?

1:22:16 Caller This is Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Loveline will be right back.

1:22:41 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew over there. Steve's going to be in here from Smash Mouth tomorrow night. Our friend Smash Mouth, Ozzy Osbourne, the great Ozzy Osbourne, in with us tonight. His lovely, lovely ageless wife, Sharon, is in here as well.

1:23:00 Guest Lovely ageless Pomeranian.

1:23:04 Adam Pomeranian looks, could pass for a two-year-old Pomeranian. Or twelve.

1:23:09 Caller Often times does. Ageless.

1:23:11 Adam Ageless Pomeranian. We're going to...

1:23:14 Drew We need to hear a song.

1:23:15 Adam We need to hear a song. Okay, yeah. I agree.

1:23:18 Guest Dreamer. Play Dreamer.

1:23:19 Adam We're going to play Dreamer.

1:28:00 Guest Wow.

1:28:01 Adam That sounded great. Yeah, you know, I know it sounds like I'm kissing ass here, but the production value on the... Thank you. Your CDs is always amazing. I mean, it just seems like a cut above everyone else's.

1:28:18 Guest Well, you know, a lot of bands now just make records. There's a certain amount of art that goes to making record, and I'm working with a great producer on this album, a guy called Tim Palmer. He really made the album come together, you know. So it's kind of like after six years, I've forgotten what I kind of got used to just doing the house fest, you know.

1:28:41 Adam Was that with a full orchestra?

1:28:43 Guest No, no.

1:28:44 Adam Really?

1:28:45 Guest Keyboards.

1:28:46 Adam Wow, that was synthesized?

1:28:47 Guest Yeah.

1:28:48 Adam It sounded amazing. They've really, I mean, I used to be able to tell the difference.

1:28:53 Guest Tim does nice little tricks that you don't really hear. You kind of, when they're all blended together, he's a musician himself, and he did a lot of the writing on the album with me. I co-wrote about three or four songs with him.

1:29:09 Adam So I mean, like when you go on the road, can you reproduce that?

1:29:12 Guest Yeah. We got the stuff on an emulator.

1:29:16 Adam Wow. I used to be able to tell the difference between the synthesized stuff and the full orchestra.

1:29:23 Guest I mean, it's gone leaps and bounds since the day of the Moog.

1:29:27 Drew The Moog synthesizer, remember that?

1:29:28 Caller Well, I was thinking of like, yeah, Hermits, Hermits and Freddie, the pace makers.

1:29:36 Adam Yeah. All right. All right. Let's hop back.

1:29:40 Guest What a great name, Jerry and the pace makers.

1:29:42 Adam Yeah, Jerry and the pace makers. Yeah. Who is it? Freddie and the dreamers. That's right.

1:29:47 Guest We're giving out true age away now.

1:29:49 Guest What was Bits and Pieces? What was that?

1:29:51 Guest Dave Clarke 5.

1:29:52 Adam Yeah. I'm in pieces, bits and pieces. Adrian, do you know that one?

1:29:56 Guest No.

1:29:57 Caller Oh, you're not.

1:29:58 Guest You're just saying that.

1:29:59 Drew I'm too young.

1:30:00 Adam All right. Don't make us break into a Paul Revere and the Raiders.

1:30:04 Drew Why would we do that?

1:30:05 Adam All right. Let's talk to Brian, who's 25. Brian?

1:30:10 Guest How's it going?

1:30:11 Guest Hello, Brian.

1:30:12 Guest How are you doing?

1:30:14 Caller I just wanted to say that I got tickets for your show in Cincinnati and I can't wait to see you rock. And I just had a question and I wanted to know what keeps you motivated?

1:30:26 Guest It's my passion for what I do and what else can I do? I mean, I've tried retirement. And one thing I learned about retirement, you've got to have something to retire to, you know. Your books. But I can't. I'm dyslexic. Oh, that's right. You have to read all the grades. You know, seriously, everybody goes, I'm going to retire at 50. But then you got to think, what are you going to do? You got to sit down and go, I'm retired. I'm retired. I'm not doing anything today because I'm retired. Boring.

1:30:58 Adam And the devil makes work for idle hands, which...

1:31:01 Guest That's true. I mean, that's when I start screaming. I start going, but if I had this malt vinegar with these...

1:31:07 Adam Right. If I smoke the Viagra, I'd get a quicker motor.

1:31:10 Guest No, it's actually with the Viagra. So, some doctor told me that if I break the pill in half and put half a pill under my tongue, it'll work quicker. But don't, what you just taste like crap in your mouth.

1:31:20 Adam Yeah, yeah.

1:31:21 Drew What? It's a 25-milligram? What are you using? 50s or...?

1:31:23 Guest 50s. Yeah. 10 at a time.

1:31:26 Drew You can use up to 100.

1:31:28 Guest I have been, actually.

1:31:31 Adam Hey, Brian. Yes. He has passion and he has nothing to do. Those are the two things.

1:31:36 Guest No, no, no. I have passion for me. I mean, it keeps me feeling young and it's what I do, you know. I mean, someone once said to one of my heroes, Paul McCartney, you're a billionaire. Why do you want to still keep rocking around? And he goes, it's what I do. And I can really understand where he's coming from. It's not the money. It's just what I do, you know.

1:31:59 Drew It's who you are. It's what you are.

1:32:01 Guest It's like, I mean, the only difference between modern rock and vaudeville is electric guitars, you know. It's still like, is everybody happy? You all having a good, wonderful time. And audience, I love my audience to participate with the show, you know, to a certain degree. Yeah, that's interesting. It's kind of, when you've been around as long as I am, it's like sing along with Ozzy, you know.

1:32:25 Guest Right, right.

1:32:26 Adam Well, it'll be a good Saturday morning show, too.

1:32:28 Guest Yes, we'll sing along with Ozzy in the morning.

1:32:31 Drew Ozzy's Playhouse.

1:32:36 Adam Let's say hi to our friend, Mr. Bat. Yes, I'm sorry. Okay. We're going to take ourselves.

1:32:42 Guest You know, what's that guy that does the kids show?

1:32:45 Guest Mr. Rogers.

1:32:46 Guest You know, that guy, he's been the same age for about 70 years. He's never aged a day.

1:32:52 Adam Well, he...

1:32:53 Drew He retired. He just retired this year.

1:32:56 Guest He just retired. He's got to be... He's only at 450 now.

1:33:00 Adam 475, I just told you. Well, his publicist says 425, but I think it is closer to 475. But see, there you go.

1:33:07 Guest He's got his mouses in there.

1:33:09 Adam He didn't drink as much, though, in his career as you did. I'm guessing.

1:33:12 Guest He didn't do lots of gacking, as they say on a bus. Can you say Mr. Tinker, please?

1:33:19 Adam All right. We're going to take one last break and we'll be back to wrap up with the great Ozzy Osbourne.

1:33:25 Guest All right, guys, bottom line, here's the deal. Looking to hook up.

1:33:28 Caller Sick of wasting time with the wrong person.

1:33:30 Caller One call is all you need to make. Call the Dateline. The Dateline.

1:33:33 Drew 877-889-DATE.

1:33:38 Caller Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. We'll be right back.

1:34:12 Adam All right, that is it. We just had a bestiality conversation, and Sharon offended Ozzy's delicate sensibilities by saying she's all for oral sex with animals.

1:34:24 Guest Yes. So you're giving them, they're going to say you're... I'm not going to say what they're going to say you are.

1:34:30 Guest Well, I've been called everything else. I might as well be a pervert.

1:34:33 Adam Fine. You don't look the part. You can get away with it. All right, Down Earth is the name of the CD. Everybody go out and get that. It is out tomorrow or today or the 16th. And that's probably the easiest way to do it. Tower on Sunset tomorrow, everybody. Five o'clock. Ozzy will be there. Photo ops and he'll be there until the last one of you. Everybody takes the last picture. Nice meeting you. Thanks for coming out.

1:34:57 Guest My pleasure.

1:34:58 Drew Get some sleep.

1:34:59 Adam Real honor. And that is over. Smash Mouth tomorrow night. Until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:35:05 Guest I'm going, Sharon, I'm ready. She's going, get lost. I'm lying here like I'm camping with the tent pole.

1:35:13 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Monday, October 15, 2001