Episode 1000754886741

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:13 Voiceover Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician and Addiction Medicine Specialist. Travis is with us tonight.

1:29 Yes, yes.

1:31 Adam Dougie Payne and Fran Healy are both here tonight from the band. You know, specialists in nothing. Well, that's all right. You're here because of your amazing music capacity. You know, we were, we were, you guys are from England, right?

1:49 From Scotland or Scotland.

1:50 Adam All right. That's that's the same place to me. I don't know what's going on. I've never well, I've been I've been to parts of Mexico. But other than that, I've never been out of the United States. But we were explaining to the boys how the show went. Basically, it always gets a little depressing and surreal when we explain the show. Doesn't it, Drew?

2:08 Drew It's I've sort of given up on it.

2:10 Travis I did see your faces drop when you said just when the mics go on, just keep talking like this.

2:16 Adam It's always funny, though, when people go. So how long has the show been on? And you go, 20 years. And they go, you've been here for 20 years? Drew always hangs his head and goes, yeah. Yes. Yes, very pathetic. Travis is going to be at the Amphitheater tomorrow night here at the Universal Amphitheater in Los Angeles. Although, that is sold out, correct? So we do not have to plug that. I will give you some tour dates where you can find Travis around the country, because you guys got a big tour, right?

2:50 Yeah, we can tour quite a lot.

2:52 Travis Yeah, we are coming to the end of this one, which has been going on for the last month or so.

2:57 Adam Is there much difference between touring in Europe and touring in the United States? And I imagine there is. And what is that difference?

3:06 Travis The difference primarily is here the audiences are sober. Oh, yeah. And in Europe generally, they are really, really, really quite drunk.

3:14 Adam Really?

3:14 Travis Yeah, which can lead to either being very, very enthusiastic or very, very unenthusiastic.

3:19 Adam Or maybe both. Like you catch them really enthusiastic at the beginning of the set and by the end they're surly and they're vomiting and they're falling asleep.

3:28 Travis Or it can work the other way, you know, you take yourself through that.

3:30 Adam Now, do they drink more? Is it? Now here's what I think. I think we have plenty of alcoholics in this country, but that we monitor our booze more than they do in Europe. Like at our football games, we cut you off at half time, we charge eight bucks for a beer, you can't go to the concession stand and buy five beers, you can only buy one, you need to bring the other guy with you.

3:54 Caller Yeah, that's right.

3:55 Adam That's a real pain, man, that's bad. They don't do that in Europe so much, do they?

4:01 Caller They do it some places, but generally no.

4:05 Travis Anything goes, really.

4:06 Caller I think it's a very, very big social thing in Britain to drink.

4:09 Adam Yeah.

4:10 Caller It's like one of the number one social thing for people to do.

4:14 Adam How come there's not more fat guys in Britain if everyone's chugging those pints all afternoon, every afternoon?

4:22 Travis Because you drink and then you don't eat anything.

4:24 Adam Oh, I see. Plus you vomit and then you pass out.

4:28 Caller Yeah.

4:28 Travis You don't put any weight on, but sometimes you lose weight.

4:30 Adam You get into a fight and that will burn a few calories. That's smart. What we do is we get loaded and then we make a run to some chilly dog stand at 4 in the morning and really pack on the calories. There they just treat it like a meal.

4:46 Drew They don't serve food 24-7 the way we do.

4:48 Adam They have specified hours for food. You guys would be fat if you could do that because when you get really drunk out here and it's 2, 3 in the morning, you want to go on a run. You want to get some burgers or some hot dogs or something like that. But you guys can't do that.

5:02 Caller Oh, we can. In London, you can.

5:04 Travis In London, you can, but generally, it's pretty unpleasant.

5:06 Caller Yeah. You got this thing called the elephant leg. Have you heard that?

5:10 Adam No. What is that?

5:11 Travis A piece of the elephant's leg.

5:13 Caller It's a kebab thing and they have a big lamb.

5:15 Drew That big lamb.

5:16 Travis It's disgusting.

5:17 Adam Oh, yeah, yeah. We have that.

5:19 Caller What do they call it?

5:20 Adam That's shawarma.

5:20 Drew It's like a shawarma, yeah.

5:22 Adam Yeah, they just stack up all the ears and hooves and all the stuff.

5:25 Drew Full of press it.

5:26 Caller Full of tapeworm.

5:27 Adam Right. They make a big thing out of it and then they just carve it off onto a plate. I like that drippings pan that's on at the bottom of that.

5:35 Caller Yeah, that's my favorite.

5:36 Caller Yeah.

5:37 Adam All right. So what the hell else was I asking? What do we need to know? Travis, In Town. Oh, The Invisible Band is the name of the CD. We're going to hear some stuff off of that. We'll hear a song in the first hour. Maybe we should hear a Travis song right now, just to get everyone lined up so they can go, oh, those are the guys who sing that song. All right. Yeah. This one's called Sing. You know, you know, Travis, everybody. The Invisible Band is the name of the CD. Producer, Ann just came in here and told me 2 million copies sold. Drew chimed in, wanted to know if that was just in North Hollywood. Drew, you always have to ruin it. Do you realize that you have that instinct in you? You know what I'm talking about?

10:03 Drew I was genuinely curious.

10:03 Adam 2 million worldwide. It's huge.

10:05 Drew It's wonderful.

10:06 Adam It's not as good as if it was just 2 million in the United States.

10:11 Drew If it had been 2 million in some country, I would have been like, oh, right on. Fabulous. No.

10:16 Adam Thank you.

10:16 I'm trying to do my best here under really difficult circumstances.

10:21 Adam Drew, you're one of these guys.

10:23 Drew I'm not the spoiler guy.

10:24 Adam I'm not.

10:24 Drew I am not that guy.

10:26 Adam You know what? You're not the intentional spoiler guy.

10:28 Drew I'm the doofus spoiler guy.

10:29 Adam You're the doofus spoiler. You're the guy where someone goes, hey, I got this sweater on sale. Got so much I paid for it. And you go $250 and they go, oh, no, it's not you. I paid 600. Is that you? I paid 600 for it. Oh, yeah. That is you, Drew. But unintentionally, he's a good man.

10:49 Drew I'll give it that.

10:50 Adam Robert?

10:51 Yeah.

10:52 Adam You're 15?

10:53 Caller I am.

10:53 Adam What's up?

10:55 Basically, to keep it short, I had my girlfriend over Sunday night and I was a virgin or I should say still am. So we're over doing the whole foreplay thing and she asked if I have the condom. Being a virgin kind of caught me off guard.

11:11 Adam Sure.

11:12 So grab that and I'm a little nervous to say the least, and so lined up, ready to go and I just go limp.

11:22 Drew Yeah. Which you'd be amazed that a significant percentage of men their first time out on the playing field, that's what happens. It's just anxiety provoking, it's overwhelming and your penis turns into someone else's.

11:35 Caller Did it feel good though?

11:37 Drew No, you didn't do anything.

11:39 Caller It didn't.

11:39 Drew It's zero.

11:40 Caller But you know, you can still feel cute.

11:41 Adam You know the thing that's so ironic about being a 15-year-old male is, you had the best boner of your life in second period the next day when you're wearing sweatpants and biology means something that you could have punched through a concrete barrier with it.

11:58 Drew Bunker buster boner.

12:00 Travis It's all about taming.

12:02 Adam The bunker buster boner, but yet when you have a new bile 15-year-old girl nude in the room with you, it goes limp. Yeah, that's rough, Robert.

12:11 Drew But that's normal. It happens all the time, Robert, and your job now is to not freak out about it. The more anxious you are, the more you're convinced it's going to happen again, and the more likely it is to happen again.

12:20 Okay.

12:20 Drew So you need to just relax, get closer with this person, feel more comfortable with her, just let things come as they may.

12:26 Okay.

12:28 Adam In practice, putting the condom on. This sounds like a joke answer, and it is, but I'm serious.

12:34 Caller It's true, a total passion killer.

12:35 Adam Why not? No, I mean, what if you were at home, I tell this to Drew all the time, you grab a handful of the condoms that they hand out at school, or at your church, or at your prayer meeting, or wherever you get them, and you just get a whole bunch of them, and you sit home alone on the foot of your bed, and you do what I do, which is I rate my pillow for about 10 minutes, and then I stop, turn on the light and see how fast I can get the condom on, and then commence raping the pillow. Again, and if you get used to that, and your penis gets used to you stopping and putting the condom on, I think it'll just work. Don't you?

13:09 Travis You have way too much time.

13:11 Adam Yeah, well wait, it's not always the same pillow.

13:14 Caller I mean, it's a smelly pillow.

13:16 Drew Oh yeah.

13:17 Adam One side of it.

13:17 Caller Yeah.

13:20 Drew For years, you've been promising the condom loader.

13:23 Adam Yeah, this is another thing.

13:24 Travis The condom loader.

13:25 Adam Yeah, like a quick, like a quick loader. Like, here's what you do.

13:29 Travis A mechanism that applies the thing.

13:31 Drew Yeah.

13:32 Adam Yeah, you know, it's kind of like, you ever see when they work on stuff and they put their hands into those gloves that are already in the box when they're working with chemicals or sand blasting or something like that.

13:42 Drew Hey, even when we're doing surgery, nurses hold the gloves in, you go.

13:44 Adam Right, right in. Right. Put your penis right into the glove. No, this is this is just like a hook thing and it would mount, it would mount, I think, to your nightstand with a little clamp thing, like a reading light.

13:56 Travis You really have thought this through, haven't you?

13:59 Caller I think you've got something.

14:00 Drew Like a spring loaded gun.

14:02 Adam No, no, no, that's you don't want to go around your penis. Something that mounts, right, solid, and it's just hung out there, and you just, pow, in and out.

14:11 Travis Cause it's the brick of momentum that's the problem. You want something that's quick and just...

14:15 Adam Right, you could have it preloaded, it would be hanging there like a wind sock.

14:19 Drew Preloaded, hands free, condom loaded. I see.

14:22 Adam That's right, thank you. All right, and you wouldn't do that thing where you don't know what side of it, whether it's right side up.

14:28 Drew It would all be there ready to go. It would be like one of those hands free telephone. Would you like command it to do it?

14:34 Adam No.

14:34 Drew Adam's penis.

14:36 Caller You'd whistle. You'd just go still.

14:38 Adam Run over and jump on your penis.

14:41 Caller Chris?

14:43 Travis Was that an instruction?

14:46 Adam Or the preloaded into her vagina. No. I'm going too far.

14:50 Caller You're right.

14:51 Adam Chris?

14:52 Caller Yes.

14:52 Adam You're 24.

14:53 Caller Yes.

14:53 Adam What's up?

14:54 Caller Well, I got a little question for you. I've been dating this girl for about a week now. We've been friends for about five, six months. I'm 24 and I like sex, but it's not a big deal to me. She's never had sex and kind of wants to wait till marriage. Now, I really like her and wouldn't mind waiting, but eventually I'm going to want to have sex. And if she still says no, what's the easiest way to get out of the relationship without being shallow or like a dick?

15:25 Drew Without being a dick, I say.

15:25 Caller Yeah, because I can only masturbate so much.

15:28 Drew Without being the dick you are, how do you graciously excuse yourself?

15:32 Caller Hey, you're a prick.

15:34 Adam You know it would be a good answer if some chick said, look, I want to wait until I'm married, until I have sex. It'd be great if you just said, well, marry some dude and then call me and I'll come by and nail you.

15:47 Caller See, that's good.

15:48 Caller I don't know if she'd be up to that either.

15:50 Adam I don't think I'd go for that, though.

15:51 Drew No, Chris, maybe, all right, this is a decision you have to make, right? Now, you have to decide whether or not you can wait or if this is something that's more important to you.

16:00 Adam How long you been seeing her?

16:01 Drew A week.

16:02 Caller We've been seeing Senator Battle a week and three days.

16:04 Drew A week and he's counting the minutes. This isn't going to work. But Chris, you have to be willing to protect things that she values. And if this is something she's telling you, you've got to believe it. And if something she values a lot, you owe it to her out of respect to be cautious with that.

16:18 Travis The thing is, do you want a relationship or do you just want sex?

16:21 Caller Oh, no, no, I do. That's what's making this kind of like a hard decision. But I see we kind of fool around. She lets me do the finger thing down there. And I'm kind of wondering what's the difference between the finger and the real thing to her. Do you think she'd take the real thing over the fingers?

16:35 Adam Well, one of them has a nail on the end of it.

16:39 Caller I'm nearly trimmed.

16:40 Adam And the other has something where semen comes out and you get pregnant. Is that what he's asking? The difference between sex and the finger? Well, yeah, that's what you were asking, right?

16:51 Caller I was just kind of wondering, because some will actually not like the finger thing down there, and would rather have the penis.

16:56 Adam Well, what if you were holding your penis with your hand? Would that be kind of a compromise? Hey, Chris, didn't you say you hadn't had sex in a while or something?

17:07 Caller It's been a while. I do masturbate a little bit.

17:11 Adam Okay. All right, well, you can stay up with that.

17:13 Drew I don't think this relationship is going to work, Chris. I just don't see it.

17:16 Adam Really? I think Chris is kind of a jackass, don't you?

17:19 Drew Yeah.

17:21 Adam But look, if you apply them with a little booze and you get moving, sometimes you can get them to do things that they don't want to do.

17:27 Drew Something she doesn't want to do.

17:29 Adam I know.

17:29 Drew Chris doesn't want to get married. He doesn't want to marry her.

17:32 Adam But listen to this. What do you guys think about this? I think a lot of women say, no, I don't want to do this. Oh, boy, this is going to be politically incorrect. But don't you think half of them say it to hear themselves say it, to go down on record to say, I said I didn't want to do this. And then a few weeks in the relationship, you guys are out drinking and one thing leads to another, and you end up doing it. But in their mind, they were going to wait until they were married.

17:56 Drew I think they don't...

17:57 Adam I'm not saying rape them.

17:59 Drew I think they really don't want to do it. They believe that once they've decided to go ahead with the guys, like really serious, whatever that means, and they're deluding themselves.

18:07 Adam Right.

18:08 Travis I think the point is that the women are always in control in relationships.

18:11 Drew Yes.

18:11 Travis Because they have more sense, and men are stupid and led by the... Can you say dicks?

18:19 Adam Yeah. I think we can say that. You guys can.

18:21 Caller Okay.

18:22 Adam Mike?

18:24 Yes.

18:24 Adam You're 22?

18:26 Caller Yes.

18:26 Adam What's up?

18:26 Caller First of all, I'm a first-time caller, a long-time listener.

18:29 Adam Great.

18:29 Caller I'm your funny as hell.

18:30 Adam Great.

18:31 Caller Drew, if I had the money, I'd let you personally counsel me. All right.

18:37 Drew What's up?

18:38 Caller All right. Drew, I've heard you talk about when you do ecstasy, there's profound long-term damage that never goes away. I was wondering if heroin had the same effect on your brain.

18:50 Drew No, it doesn't, interestingly. Heroin, while it causes the most severe form of addiction, leaves your brain relatively unchanged.

18:57 Adam Why is that?

18:58 Drew Because it's not a neurotoxin. It does change perhaps permanently your pain perception. In other words, your ability to tolerate discomfort, it may be permanently impaired, and certainly for 6 to 12 months, it is profoundly impaired. But there may be some persistent impairment. And there clearly is a change in the reward system of the brain that causes these very powerful feelings of emptiness and drive towards the heroin. But in terms of their brain loss, or brain destruction, or disruption of normal brain function, no.

19:28 Adam Hey, let me ask you this.

19:28 Drew Heroin leaves your brain as it found it, basically.

19:30 Adam I just had an idea. You know how they work on these types of produce that is not susceptible to certain worms, or that can travel. You know I'm talking about hybrids stuff. What about some hybrid heroin? Some non-addictive heroin. Because everyone talks about how good it is, and I want to do it, but I don't want to get addicted.

19:49 Drew Here's the deal.

19:50 Adam Can we remove the gene?

19:52 Drew You sound like a pharmaceutical doctor now, because they are in the eternal quest for the non-addictive opiate and the non-addictive benzodiazepine. But here's the reality. Hold on.

20:04 Adam Do they need a test group?

20:07 Drew Yeah. To test a single subject, what they need. But a lightweight, though.

20:12 Adam Yeah. Oh, no. Not me. I'm heavyweight.

20:14 Drew So if it is a benzo, if it is an opiate, it will always be addictive. You will never see the non-addictive, fill in the blank, opiate or benzo. Never happen.

20:24 Travis Never?

20:24 Drew Never.

20:25 Adam Why not? How do you know that?

20:26 Drew Because of how they operate at the receptor level. If they are stimulating those receptors, then those receptors are changing their configuration and it is game on. Alright.

20:34 Caller I have one more question. What do you think about methadone? Because I have been going to meetings for years and that is the reason I have the first question for you, is so that when I get clean, I want to know that there is no bounce back where I am going to freak out, whatever.

20:49 Drew Are you on methadone now? I personally, there is a very powerful trend suggesting that methadone is a way to go these days, that harm avoidance is the sort of treatment of choice. I am quite opposed to that. I mean, I think there are places where methadone has a role to be played, but boy it is a disaster once you are on it. It is just very difficult to come off that drug.

21:15 Travis Is methadone more addictive than heroin?

21:17 Drew More addictive than heroin.

21:18 Caller Everything I have heard from the meetings suggests to not do that.

21:22 Drew Unless you want to be chronically ill, chronically in your disease, albeit a less acute form of it, I will give you that. It is still chronically ill when you are on methadone.

21:30 Adam Methadone has been around for 20 years, right? Maybe more. Isn't it time for methadone too? You know what I mean? Make something that is a little better.

21:41 Drew There is something called lamb and there are other things out there. Lamb?

21:45 Adam Like what we are talking about with the kebabs and the swarma? The elephant's leg?

21:49 Travis The elephant's leg instead of methadone.

21:52 Adam Talking about it.

21:53 Drew There are things being tried but nothing really is replaced yet. Methadone is having a huge resurgence.

21:58 Adam Are they working on that? Yeah, all the time. It just seems like the technology hasn't changed since 1975 or something.

22:06 Drew No, no, no. You got bupren-X now and you've got lamb and stuff. But it's all the same thing. Look, it's a long acting methanol. Long acting opiate.

22:14 Adam Right. Leah?

22:18 Hello?

22:18 Adam You're 19?

22:19 Caller Hi.

22:19 Adam You got a question for Travis?

22:21 Oh, yeah.

22:22 Caller Hi.

22:22 Adam Hello.

22:23 Caller Oh, God. Sorry. I just want to say you guys are like a really awesome fan. Thank you. Can you say hi to Valerie and Vanessa for me?

22:31 Caller Hello, Valerie.

22:33 Caller Okay. Anyway, my question is.

22:35 Caller Hello, Valerie.

22:36 Caller Yeah.

22:37 Adam There you go.

22:38 Caller All right. My question is, what gave you the inspiration to write Last Train?

22:44 Caller Last Train, I suppose the thing that makes the lyrics that lead the lyrics is the melody. Melody is always, if you hum a tune, you'll have vowel sounds in that tune. That usually dictates the lyric, and the lyric ends up being a certain thing. It's very hard to say.

23:05 Drew That's what the guys of System Of A Down said, didn't they?

23:09 Caller Yeah, it's the same.

23:11 Adam Travis and System Of A Down, it's really the same pair. Travis is a tribute band. They don't like to be called a copy band. It's a tribute band.

23:20 Travis No, I'll thank you just to stop right there.

23:21 Caller Yes, dead light.

23:23 Caller That's right.

23:24 Caller But I don't know. I mean, it was written in Los Angeles.

23:28 Travis Yeah, that song has been kind of... I mean, it's kind of open to interpretation. It's the way that the lyrics have ended up, I suppose, is about, you know, you have the power to choose between doing something positive with whatever energy you feel, whether that be anger or frustration or whatever, or something negative. And you have those. You always have that choice. And, you know, as the lyrics say, you can either write a song or buy a gun. And we would strongly recommend writing a song.

23:56 Caller You can just, you know, you can make all the feelings that you feel if they're bad feelings. You can polarize them. And I think if you've got the propensity to make people's lives an absolute misery, you have the equal propensity to make their lives a total joy.

24:11 Travis And you can do that.

24:13 Caller And you can, you know, that's the thing. And it's just the basic choice that you have to make.

24:18 Adam It's a good point to go out on. We're going to take ourselves a little break. Travis is our guest tonight. When we come back, we'll speak to Mindy. Who wants to finger her boyfriend's butt?

24:29 Drew Speaking of taking negative energy and turning it into something positive. Total joy, as he says.

24:36 Adam We'll be back after this.

24:37 Caller I'm just going to the toast to try that.

24:41 Caller Hello, what is it?

24:42 Caller This is Loveline. 1-800-LOVE-191.

25:07 Adam Hey, hey, hey, everybody, it's Love Line. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew over there. Doug Eamfran are both here from Travis.

25:15 Caller Hello again.

25:15 Drew Hello again. Hey Anderson, these guys are big Aussie fans. Can you just drop in a little Aussie here?

25:21 Travis Oh, yes.

25:23 Drew Here it comes.

25:23 Caller Go on, go on.

25:24 Drew Come on.

25:25 Caller Come on now. I really don't, I'm really, I'm really, what did you say, a hermit. But I'm not, see, I used to do a lot of screwing around in my medication because Aussie is king.

25:42 Travis God bless Aussie.

25:44 Caller I'm going Sharon, I'm ready. She's going, get lost. I'm like, what the, I'm camping with the temple.

25:52 Adam That's great. But that's what everyone from England sounds like that to us, right? That's right.

25:58 Caller You are the weakest thing, goodbye.

26:01 Adam There's Aussie, everybody. Travis in here. Tony Hawk, the crazy. Now, is skateboarding big? Well, you guys are from Scotland? Yeah, it has been big over there.

26:13 Travis It has. I've heard of Tony Hawk, so it must be reasonable.

26:16 Adam Wow.

26:16 Travis Kind of successful, yeah.

26:17 Adam Jesus, what kind of day and age are we living in when skateboarder?

26:21 Drew International.

26:22 Adam International, huge.

26:24 Drew International businessman.

26:25 Adam Wow. All right, Tony will be in here on Wednesday. Good guy. Always good to see him. Travis here tonight. We'll hear something else off of the CD before the night is through. Mindy?

26:37 Caller Yes?

26:38 Adam You're 21?

26:39 Caller Yes, I am.

26:40 Adam So you want to put your finger in your boyfriend's butt?

26:44 Yes.

26:45 Adam And have you talked to him about this?

26:47 Yes.

26:48 I ask him all the time, and he just kind of jumps up and says no.

26:52 Drew And what would this do for you?

26:54 I don't know. I think I could get off on it.

26:58 Drew Alice in Wonderland.

26:59 Adam Does he want to put his finger in your butt?

27:02 No.

27:03 Travis Would you let him?

27:04 Adam Yeah.

27:05 Drew Have you ever done this before?

27:06 No.

27:07 Drew But you have a pretty... How long have you been with your boyfriend?

27:10 Two months.

27:11 Drew And this is your first boyfriend?

27:12 No.

27:13 Drew But this has never occurred to you before?

27:14 No.

27:15 I just like to try new things.

27:16 Drew This guy just inspires that in you.

27:18 Caller He's got a big butt.

27:19 Adam He has a very inviting anus. I've been told that by many gents. I've been complimented many times at the gym.

27:26 Travis On your anus?

27:27 Adam Yeah. Oh, yes. Lovely, they tell me.

27:29 Caller In the showers.

27:30 Adam Lovely. Where is it?

27:31 Caller I say.

27:33 Adam There's too much hair. It's a cousin of its mouth. All right. Mindy?

27:40 Yes.

27:41 Adam This is the kind of thing that you should spring on him.

27:45 Caller Yeah.

27:45 Adam More than discuss over breakfast.

27:48 Travis It should be a surprise.

27:49 Caller Yeah. You'll get a big surprise, I would imagine. Right.

27:52 Do you think he'll like it, though?

27:53 Adam He may. He's not gonna know. It's the kind of thing he's gonna say he's not gonna enjoy until you're knuckled deep.

28:01 Caller Have you guys done it?

28:02 Drew I imagine it's not on his list of things to do. And I think some guys will be very definitely turned off by it.

28:09 Adam Oh, okay.

28:10 Drew Like, what do you think I am? Do you think I'm this? Do you think I'd enjoy it?

28:13 Adam Well, here's the problem. Here's the danger. What if he really loves it? And now he wants it every night.

28:20 Caller And then it starts, you know, your next thing, you know, you're at the vegetable counter at the local superstore buying a humongous...

28:26 Adam You got a bowling pin up there. That's not enough. He wants a lamp.

28:32 Caller Live animals. Lava lamp, please.

28:33 Adam Lava lamp. Hey, you know what I'm saying, Mindy? I mean, what if he really enjoys it and then...

28:38 I'd do it every night for him.

28:40 Adam Yeah, you say that now, but it's going to get old a few years in the relationship with the hand.

28:43 Caller I think you just want some fun. That's what you want, isn't it?

28:46 Yeah, I want something different.

28:47 Caller Yeah, you just want to be a bit exotic.

28:49 Yes.

28:50 Drew Maybe you're not into this guy.

28:51 No, I love him. We're getting married.

28:53 Caller Cool. Well, then just get your finger in the old Vaseline.

28:57 Adam Yeah, give it a try.

28:59 Caller Yeah, go on.

29:00 Okay.

29:02 Adam Here's what you do.

29:03 Caller Just tell him Travis said it was okay.

29:05 Adam Same thing I do with the vibrator. You don't discuss it, you unveil it. You see what I'm saying? Keep your finger hidden under the pillow.

29:13 Drew Well, it's unveiling like an F-16 unveils them.

29:16 Adam Yeah, a Sidewinder missile. Yeah, I'm just saying, when guys get into this all the time, they want to use a vibrator on a woman. So what they want to do is they sit down and they plop it down on the table and they want to have a discussion about it. That's not the way to do it.

29:31 Travis It's best to just introduce it in a situation that's appropriate.

29:34 Adam Yeah, that's right. Get the juices flowing and then unveil it. Don't make a big deal about it.

29:43 Travis I've got a really nice image of you unveiling.

29:45 Caller Yeah, it's like a big magician.

29:47 Caller Your little velvet curtain, you just whip it off.

29:49 Adam Right. You're hearing the horns playing. That's right. Do the same thing with the finger.

29:55 Travis Okay.

29:58 Adam Let's talk to Carlotta. Carlotta?

30:02 Yes.

30:03 Adam You're 23?

30:04 Caller Yes.

30:05 Adam What's up?

30:08 Caller I guess you want to know my story.

30:10 Drew Well, no, let's just guess. What do you think, Adam?

30:13 Adam I say she... Go ahead, Carlotta.

30:17 Caller Okay. For the past year and a half, I've been sleeping with my stepbrother.

30:24 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

30:26 Drew How old is he?

30:28 Caller He's 21.

30:29 Drew How long has he been your stepbrother?

30:31 Caller Three years.

30:32 Drew And so about a year and a half into this relationship. Why are you guys both at home? Are you still at home?

30:37 Caller Yes.

30:38 Drew Shouldn't both of you be out on your own now?

30:41 Caller Well, maybe, but.

30:43 Adam Maybe.

30:43 Caller Okay.

30:45 Drew There's a sick situation at home. Why don't you mobilize? Why don't you get out of there?

30:50 Caller Cash.

30:51 Caller Cash.

30:53 Adam Cash.

30:53 Travis It sounds like this is troubling you.

30:55 Caller Do what?

30:56 Travis It sounds like this is troubling you. You sound upset.

30:59 Caller Well, a little bit, yeah.

31:01 Caller What do you think about it? I mean, I don't see. There's nothing really that.

31:05 Drew Well, it's not huge. It's a disturbing situation. But as we've said in the past, you're being a couple of 18-year-olds and put them on the same roof. They didn't before they were just classmates.

31:13 Caller How old are you?

31:15 Drew He's 23. He's 21.

31:17 Adam Right.

31:18 Caller He's 21.

31:20 Drew When he appeared on the scene, he was 18.

31:23 Adam All right. So are you guys in love?

31:26 I don't know.

31:27 Caller It's kind of convenient. But.

31:34 Travis Yeah.

31:34 Adam I know how it is. You don't want to date a guy who lives, let's say, a block away. He's got to live under the same roof. Who needs that hassle of getting on your moped and going down the street?

31:46 Travis You can just go down the hall.

31:47 Caller Right.

31:48 Adam Forget about going down the hall. You can just put his penis through the wall.

31:50 Drew Carla, what do you do for a living? Which I'm sure he's tried. What do you do for a living?

31:55 Caller Me?

31:56 I work at a fast food place.

31:59 Adam Okay. Well, you can go nowhere but up, Carlotta. What's up? Are you retarded? What's up with you? No?

32:08 Caller Excuse me?

32:09 Adam You seem a little impaired. Do you drink?

32:15 Caller Oh, yeah.

32:16 Adam You do?

32:16 Caller Oh, yeah.

32:17 Drew Every day?

32:19 Caller No.

32:19 Adam Okay.

32:20 Caller No, I drink alcohol.

32:21 Adam What does he do?

32:24 Caller What do you mean?

32:25 Adam See, we're on the topic of what people are doing for a living.

32:28 Drew How they support themselves.

32:30 Adam He goes to school. Junior college, I'm guessing.

32:34 Caller No, he goes to...

32:35 Caller Harvard?

32:36 Caller No.

32:37 Adam Where does he go?

32:39 Caller The university here in town.

32:41 Adam Okay. Carlotta, are you doing something that's distracting you or confusing you right now?

32:47 Caller No.

32:48 I'm just a little nervous.

32:50 Adam Okay. All right. Well, look, here's what we say. Obviously, this is not like you having sex with your blood brother.

32:58 Caller No.

32:58 Adam That would be better. I mean, you know.

33:00 Drew That would be worse.

33:01 Adam Oh, that would be worse. That's right. But it's still a little weird, you two living under the same roof and having a relationship.

33:08 Drew I use the word sick kind of generically. It's sort of a sick situation.

33:11 Adam So you're 23 years old. How about getting a few more hours at work, getting a friend and moving out, getting an apartment and starting your adult life?

33:21 Caller Well, I see other guys, too.

33:23 Caller I mean, but...

33:25 Adam Oh, he's got some brothers or something?

33:26 Caller No.

33:28 Adam He's got some cousins or what are you seeing? Your dad?

33:31 Drew Carolla, that has no bearing on what Adam just advised you to do.

33:35 Caller Right.

33:35 Adam Yeah, why is that an answer to me?

33:37 Caller I'm just saying that I have other...

33:40 Adam I know. Okay, but what did I just say? No, I mean, what about moving out of the house?

33:48 Caller When I have money saved, sure.

33:50 Drew Okay, repeat it again.

33:52 Adam Okay, now forget it. All right, listen. Carlotta, don't handle any sharp instruments.

33:58 Drew Make sure you're on birth control.

34:00 Adam Can you not get pregnant?

34:02 Caller No.

34:03 Adam Do you have kids?

34:04 Caller No.

34:05 Adam Do you use birth control?

34:09 Drew Yes.

34:10 Caller Yes?

34:11 Caller Yes.

34:12 Drew Yes.

34:12 Adam Yes, you do?

34:13 Caller Yes, yes.

34:14 Adam Okay.

34:14 Drew What do you use?

34:14 Adam What do you use?

34:16 Caller I'm on the pill.

34:17 Caller Okay.

34:19 Adam Does this guy know that you're seeing other people?

34:21 Caller Oh, yeah.

34:22 Drew So, it's a brother, of course.

34:24 Adam Sure, they share everything. All right. You're probably banging these guys in the house. He's probably listening, right?

34:30 Drew Nice.

34:32 Adam Okay. Hey, Carlotta, don't get pregnant.

34:36 Drew That's rule number one.

34:38 Adam That's my five-year plan for you.

34:40 Drew The second plan is get a friend, female, get some money together, maybe spend a little more time at work, and move out on your own.

34:48 Caller Save up quick.

34:49 Travis Spend more time outside the house.

34:51 Caller Yeah.

34:51 Adam All right.

34:52 Caller All righty.

34:53 Adam All right, Carlotta.

34:55 Caller Thank you.

34:55 Adam All right. Good times there. Let's do a little Loveline reenactment. Go ahead, Drew. I'll be Carlotta. Give me the speech about moving out of the house.

35:02 Drew I'll be Adam?

35:04 Adam Yeah, you be me.

35:05 Drew I think what you ought to do is get a friend together, get a little cash, work a few more hours at work, and move out on your own, start your adult life.

35:13 Adam I'm just seeing other guys. See, we have the world's dumbest callers on the show. Easily. Easily. I've said it once. I'll say it again. I will put our callers against any other talk show, national or regional, regional, satellite. I don't care who. Bring them on. Yes. We will come up at the bottom. Katie?

35:39 Yes.

35:39 Adam You're 20?

35:40 Caller Yes.

35:41 Adam What's up?

35:42 Caller I just wanted to say hi to Fran and Dougie.

35:44 Caller Hi.

35:44 Travis How are you doing?

35:45 Caller Good. How are you guys?

35:46 Travis Very well.

35:47 Caller Thank you.

35:48 Caller Fran, I just want to ask you how you felt when you met Paul McCartney, because I know he's been a big influence on you.

35:54 Caller I think we all kind of hung out with Paul for about two hours. We had him for and he played his songs and we played him songs. And it was like the thrill of everyone's career and life. It's kind of one of those things when you see someone like that.

36:11 Travis In three dimensions that you've never seen in two. He was an amazing guy. He's a lovely, lovely man.

36:16 Adam He seems so nice.

36:17 Travis Yeah, he really is. I think it's when somebody's done everything that they could ever want to do. They've got nothing left to prove and it's just like, they're very nice to you.

36:27 Adam He seems so secure that he's able to be nice.

36:32 Travis Yeah, exactly.

36:32 Adam He's got so much money and so much respect and he's had so much accomplishment in his life that why not just be nice now?

36:39 Travis Yeah, but don't mention Give My Regards to Broad Street. I think it's very upstanding.

36:43 Caller Oh god.

36:43 Caller Oh really?

36:45 Caller That was a terrible movie.

36:47 Caller There you go.

36:49 Travis No, he was a lovely man, one of the best meetings that we've ever had.

36:53 Adam Hey Katie?

36:54 Caller Yes?

36:55 Adam Are you going to see Travis when they come to wherever you are?

36:58 Caller Well, I just saw them at the Riviera in Chicago.

37:01 Travis Oh, that was good though.

37:02 Caller I didn't get to meet you Fran though. I saw you, but you had to leave. I met you, Dougie.

37:08 Travis Oh, hello again there.

37:11 Caller I remember Fran when you got out of the cab and got those security guys off the van.

37:16 Adam That kid?

37:17 Caller That was crazy.

37:18 Caller Oh no man, that guy was just...

37:20 Caller It was so noble of you. It was so heroic.

37:23 Adam What happened, Katie?

37:24 Caller Just some kid was trying to get...

37:26 Caller Yeah, he was going up...

37:27 Caller One of the autographs and the bouncer guy grabbed him and threw this kid over the bonnet of a car.

37:31 Caller Fran got out of the moving cab.

37:33 Caller It wasn't moving.

37:34 Caller It was slightly moving.

37:37 Adam That's great. Well, he dove out of the cab. It was going 80.

37:39 Caller It was kind of like Starsky and Hutch.

37:41 Adam Yeah. Drove across the hood.

37:43 Caller Brought the guy down and...

37:45 Adam Took down two guys.

37:45 Travis David Soule bounced over the bonnet.

37:47 Caller Yeah. And then...

37:50 Drew The bonnet.

37:51 Adam Yeah. You know what? That is a move you don't see anymore, which is instead of taking the extra tenth of a second to actually go around the front of the car, I'll dive across the hood of the car. I'll risk injuring and destroy the car, but I'll save a tenth of a second.

38:06 Drew The bonnet.

38:07 Adam The bonnet of the car.

38:08 Travis Well, can we go with the hood?

38:09 Adam Not the boot, the bonnet.

38:10 Travis Bonnet sounds quite camp.

38:12 Adam You know what I've found about security in general? They have two modes. They have smoking or sleeping, or sometimes both, and now talking on a cell phone to their girlfriend and doing nothing while you're being attacked by people. Or they have the super vigilant, you're not going on stage, I don't care if you're with the band, I don't care if you're playing, you can't get on stage. It's like one of two modes, and I would like to say this to all the security personnel. How about something in between those two things?

38:43 Travis No, they're either on or off.

38:45 Adam Right, right.

38:45 Travis There's no kind of mediation.

38:47 Adam When you're on, I can't get on stage to bring out the band for the concert that my radio station is holding. And when you're off, I'm being gang raped by a team, a drunken horde, and you're talking on a cell phone.

39:00 Travis That.

39:01 Adam It's one or the other. They have two modes. I'm not sure which one I don't like more. They're both pretty bad, right? All right. Travis is here. We'll take ourselves a little break. We'll come back. We'll speak to Crystal. She's been with 50 guys, and her new boyfriend can't stand it. He wishes it was more like 75.

39:22 Drew He goes soft thinking about it.

39:23 Adam Oh, fantastic. All right. We'll be back.

39:28 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191. Back in a minute.

39:58 Adam Hey, everybody. Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Dougie and Fran. Hello again.

40:05 Caller Hello.

40:06 Adam Our new friends from Travis are here. And we're going to hear something else off of the CD, The Invisible Band. Two million sold worldwide.

40:16 Travis Thank you, Drew. Thank you for making that distinction.

40:18 Drew I appreciate that.

40:18 Caller Yeah.

40:19 Adam So that is...

40:20 Drew Why are you putting that by me?

40:22 Adam Well, Drew brings cookies in here.

40:24 Drew I'll eat it if you put it by me.

40:25 Adam Well, I don't want to eat it either.

40:27 Drew Talk to the band. You're fat.

40:29 Adam Yes.

40:31 Travis Kind of a fat band.

40:33 Adam What were we talking about? Yeah. Here's the phone number, 1-800-L-M-E-1-9-1. Tony Hawk in here on Wednesday night. We're going to be at the Museum of Television Radio tomorrow night.

40:43 Drew Is that true?

40:43 Adam That's true. All right.

40:46 Drew I hope I don't drive right in here and remember it just as I drive in.

40:49 Adam And remind us. I've got to make a note. All right. We'll talk to Crystal, who's 21. Crystal?

40:56 Caller Hola. Hola.

40:57 Adam Hello.

40:58 Caller Hi, Drew. Hi, Travis.

40:59 Drew Hello.

40:59 Adam Hello.

41:00 Caller Hey, and your screener has a great way of twisting everything that I told him into a little nice story for you guys.

41:06 Drew All right. Will you tell us the real thing?

41:08 Caller Okay. So I wanted to call and talk about my boyfriend's stamina. It's not too long. It's probably about a good five, maybe ten minutes. And what really bothers me is that what he lacks, he makes up for doing it over and over again. So instead of getting a good half an hour out of it, I get short bursts. Yes. And it's horrible because I don't get off.

41:32 Caller All right.

41:32 Adam And what about the 50 guys?

41:34 Caller You know, he asked me how many guys I've been with, and I told him around 40 or 50 guys.

41:39 Caller All right.

41:40 Caller Because I've had a little bit of experience.

41:42 Adam No kidding. And right. So you definitely have something to compare this guy to.

41:47 Caller But you know, there's only been one person who I can really say has made me come from the inside. And that was a lesbian with a strap on.

41:58 Adam That's delightful. That's going to make a great story for your grandchildren one day.

42:02 Caller She just strapped it on.

42:04 Caller Let me give you an important lesson, kiddies.

42:07 Travis Your boyfriend's intimidated by this at all?

42:09 Drew Well, pardon my impertinence, but...

42:10 Caller Of course, probably.

42:12 Adam Does he know about this?

42:13 Caller Yes.

42:14 Caller Wait a minute.

42:15 Caller We've known each other for a good eight years, so I've been pretty open on his...

42:19 Drew All right, wait a minute, Crystal.

42:20 Caller Yes.

42:20 Drew What difference does it make if he goes 30 minutes if you're not able to have an orgasm anyway?

42:25 Caller You know, the more it builds up, the more stimulation I get.

42:29 Drew You present it as, I can't get off if he doesn't last at least 30 minutes. Then you say, well, reality is I've never had an orgasm, of course.

42:35 Adam You've had 49 guys strike out and one bull dyke with a strap on strike gold.

42:40 Caller If I did, I really wasn't aware of it. You know, it's mostly just been, okay, well, I'm used to not getting it from the inside. So I need to stimulate myself while it's happening. But I want it where it's going to happen from just the inside. And that's really, I can't remember a time that's really happened.

42:56 Travis So 49 guys have tried and failed.

42:58 Drew It's probably not going to happen, Crystal.

43:00 Adam Why?

43:01 Caller I thought, is it like, can all women have orgasms when they're being said?

43:05 Adam No, no, no, uh-uh. No, I sound too guilty.

43:10 Caller No, oh, the guy's like, no, no.

43:12 Adam I think most can.

43:13 Caller I don't know what the big deal is.

43:15 Adam No, God no, show me the bitch.

43:18 Caller Liar, liar, a killer.

43:23 Adam All right, Crystal?

43:25 Caller Yes.

43:25 Adam You got some energy, right?

43:29 Drew He doesn't mean good energy.

43:30 Adam You're a little bit screwed up, right?

43:32 Caller Me? Oh, gosh, I would love for you guys to try to analyze.

43:35 Adam No, we wouldn't have to. You've had a lot of things go on in your life, right?

43:40 Caller Of course.

43:40 Adam Okay. Now, that's been channeled into your sexuality.

43:46 Caller Okay.

43:47 Adam Maybe that energy is freaking him out a little bit, making him a little anxious.

43:52 Drew The guy lasts 10 minutes and is good for three go-arounds. Yeah.

43:55 Caller But I'm not one for one, two, three. I want a good session. I don't want to stomp and then come back to...

44:01 Drew Get a strap on.

44:02 Caller I want to get up and go watch television in need of doughnut or something. I don't want to just keep on going. I don't like that.

44:09 Adam Well, why did you leave the lesbian with the strap on?

44:12 Caller She was psycho.

44:14 Oh, really?

44:15 Adam Wow.

44:15 Caller She was kind of nuts.

44:16 Adam The pot calling the kettle psycho.

44:20 Caller Not all of the 40 or 50 men have all been men. There's been quite a few women thrown in there.

44:26 Adam I see. Okay. All right. But here's our point. You had no luck with 25 or 30 guys. Why is this guy getting the brunt of all the blame? I know you're disappointed by him, but it's not as if you're having a great sexual time with all these other guys. They weren't satisfying you either.

44:44 Drew Yeah. I think this is going to be that thing that sexual compulsives get, which is constantly not enough, dissatisfied, more, never enough. That's what having been sexually abused causes, and that's what sexual compulsivity is all about.

44:58 Adam How's his oral sex? Do you enjoy that?

45:01 Caller Oh, yummy. It's some of the best oral sex I've ever had.

45:04 Adam Him?

45:05 Caller Yes.

45:05 Adam All right. Listen, you got some of the best oral you've ever had.

45:09 Drew But it's never enough, see?

45:10 Adam I know. But here's, look, you've had the best oral you've ever had. You're getting three laps times three. You got to give this guy seven and a half.

45:23 Caller Do you love him?

45:24 Caller Yes, yes I do. Oh, please. It's been two years we've been with each other. We've been through hell and back. We were high school sweethearts. It's been a whole eight years.

45:32 Adam Okay. But maybe how about some therapy? Yeah, a lot of therapy.

45:35 Caller I've tried there. I've been there, done it. How much? I could be your counselor. That's how long I've been in therapy.

45:42 Adam I could kill myself.

45:43 Drew How many years have you been in therapy?

45:46 Caller One more time.

45:47 Drew How many years were in therapy?

45:48 Caller I've been in therapy since I was four years old, and I finally stopped when I was 18, because that's when I left the foster system. It was on my own.

45:54 Travis In therapy since what?

45:55 Caller That's when I left the foster system and was on my own.

45:58 Adam Oh, boy. Baby, listen, though. Someone who's been through what you've been through in your life, and we're just using our imagination and going to think it's been a lot, that you've been through, this is going to be an ongoing thing with you, okay? All right? The therapy. Just stick with it. Here's all I'm saying. Ninety-nine percent of the people call the show and say, I got a problem with sex. It turns out to be a problem with something that dad did to a woman when they were five.

46:22 Travis It's transference of the problems onto something.

46:25 Drew No, your biology just does it.

46:27 Adam Yeah, it is. Now, don't deny that. I think it's a simple way of putting it. You're taking this energy that should be worked on in this department and you're putting it in your garage, and you can spend your entire life chasing that, which will never have an end or conclusion to it, or you can do a little therapy and try to find yourself and get healthy again, and that's what our caller Crystal needs to do. Travis is here. We'll take ourselves a little break, and we'll be right back.

46:55 Caller All right, guys.

46:56 Here's the deal.

46:57 Caller You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person.

47:00 Caller One call is all you need to make.

47:01 Call the Dateline.

47:02 Caller 877-889-DATE.

47:05 Call the Dateline.

48:15 Adam Yeah, System of a Down, everybody. Travis is here tonight. They're definitely no System of a Down.

48:23 Travis System of a Down tribute band.

48:25 Adam Yeah, this is what I like.

48:29 Caller That's right.

48:30 Adam You guys cover this one, right? And again, not a cover band. That's a rip-off. This is a tribute band.

48:37 Travis Yeah, it's a tribute band. It's kind of System of a Down with its own twist.

48:40 Adam It is a tip of the hat to System of a Down. It is not ripping them off. Dougie is here and so is Fran. And again, from Travis, The Invisible Band is the name of the CD. We're going to hear something off of that CD. Two million sold, thank you, worldwide. We'll hear something off of that in just a couple of calls. Right now, we'll speak to, where are we going to speak, Sarah? Yeah. How's that? Sarah?

49:04 Hello?

49:05 Adam Hey, you're 28. What's up?

49:06 Caller Oh, hi. I had a question for Travis.

49:09 Caller Hello.

49:10 Caller Hey, I wondered if you had any Scottish influences, bands or Scottish has influenced you?

49:16 Caller Well, when we were doing our final demos before going to London to get a deal, we went to the studio where Teenage Fan Club were recording. Oh, sure.

49:27 Caller Remember them?

49:27 Adam Yeah.

49:28 Caller Then they were great to us. They were absolutely great because we didn't really have much gear.

49:33 Drew The only Scottish band I ever met was Catherine Wheel.

49:36 Adam Oh, yeah.

49:36 Caller I don't remember them. But they kind of gave us their equipment. They gave us all these really lovely acoustic guitars. And I played through Norman's Vox amp.

49:46 Travis And it was all the stuff which we proceeded to sell.

49:49 Caller And we met, we met, they were, they were doing something with Alex Chilton at the time. They were rehearsing with Alex Chilton from Big Star. It was kind of cool.

49:57 Travis And I think, well, I think as far as kind of Scottish influences go, it's kind of more than anything. It's our folks, our parents and families and friends.

50:05 Adam Were they musical?

50:06 Travis Well, yeah. And just kind of personality-wise, I think more than anything. It's Scottish, Scottish people, especially kind of the West Coast, Scotland, Glasgow and stuff. People are generally pretty open and kind of, I suppose, modest and it's just, it's a nice place to come from.

50:19 Caller Yeah. Well, I have kind of a cheeky request.

50:22 Travis What is that?

50:22 Caller This is, this is sort of cheeky. My great friend is Frank Reader from the Trash Cam Sonata.

50:28 Caller Oh, yeah, Frank.

50:29 Caller And this crazy thing happened like, like when you guys were, I think you played together a long time ago.

50:35 Caller Yeah.

50:35 Caller And like he took his demos to the record, your demos to the record company. He was like, oh, Travis, they're so great and everything. And then like a month later, like you were signed and they were dropped.

50:47 Caller Ah.

50:47 Caller I just wondered if you could ever put in a good word for those poor, luckless boys.

50:52 Caller Ah, I believe they've made an album. Some Japanese fans financed, self-financed their new record.

51:00 Caller Yeah, I don't think that came out. I think they're making an album like next year.

51:03 Adam Well, it's not like they cut the trashcan Sinatra's to make room for Travis.

51:08 Caller No, I'm not saying that at all.

51:10 Adam Oh, okay. They just, they came to their senses.

51:13 That's all.

51:15 Caller I'm just begging. I just had this fantasy one day, I talked to Travis and asked him to put in a good word if they ever had a chance.

51:22 Caller Well, the Frank Reader is a brilliant singer. The guy is very, very talented. His sister is Eddie Reader from Fairground Attraction. Their whole family is full of brilliant singers.

51:33 Adam Save it for the record company, though. I mean, don't shoot your wad here when you talk to the label.

51:39 Caller Hold it back.

51:39 Adam All right.

51:40 Caller Sorry.

51:40 Adam Save some for the label. All right, Sarah.

51:42 Caller I have a health question, a real problem too.

51:44 Drew I'm sorry.

51:45 Adam Real quick.

51:46 Caller Well, I've had bladder infection symptoms for eight weeks, but I've never had any bacteria cultured. And I wondered if you had any idea what that could be. They're going to do like an exam, but the urologist doesn't think he's even going to see anything.

51:57 Drew You're going to have a cystoscopy? Yeah.

51:59 Caller But he said, you know, oh, that usually just shows irritation.

52:02 Drew Right. And you're going to get a grab bag diagnosis called interstitial cystitis.

52:07 Caller They won't tell me it's that. Do you think it could be that?

52:10 Drew Yeah. Which is sort of when they can't figure anything else out. That's what they call it. Do you do a lot of bike riding or spinning? No. Sometimes that causes no vaginal problems.

52:20 Caller Well, the whole area hurts a lot.

52:22 Drew Have you seen a gynecologist?

52:24 Caller Yeah, they don't see anything wrong.

52:26 Adam Who is it, the bass player from the trash can Sinatra? Who's been doing this damage to you? And by the way, listen, let me talk to Damien, the phone screener. Please, no more trash can Sinatra slash vaginosis questions. I'm up to here with these things.

52:45 Travis It's a common combination.

52:46 Adam Oh, we get them every night. What about the trash can Sinatras and I have a bladder infection?

52:52 Drew That kind of vaginal irritation that can't be sort of determined is a real pretty common thing. Yeah.

52:57 Adam Well, so what do they do?

53:02 Drew No, it's not a urinary thing often. It's a vaginal problem. There are all kinds of things they try and often it ends up being sort of...

53:08 Adam Psychological?

53:09 Drew Yeah, sometimes.

53:10 Adam A little crazy? Okay. I know where you're going. Natalie?

53:14 Caller Yes?

53:14 Adam You're 20?

53:16 Caller Yes, I am.

53:16 Adam What's up?

53:17 Caller Well, I was wondering about the spermicide on condoms because there's been a few occasions where I'd be having sex with my boyfriend and in certain positions they would come off inside me and we wouldn't know until we were both done.

53:33 Drew The condom would come off?

53:34 Caller Yeah.

53:35 Drew That's no good. The spermicide have no use.

53:38 Caller Really?

53:39 Drew No use. That's when you got to get the emergency contraceptive.

53:42 Adam Why do they put it on there if it has no use?

53:44 Drew As much as anything, it was a selling point because they used the non-oxynol 9 stuff and so it was supposed to be maybe to kill some of the HIV. So it really does not have a significant effect. Certainly if a load is dumped in her vagina, Oh no. You've got to kill. Seed is spilled.

54:06 Adam What is your bedside manner, Drew?

54:08 Drew Load is dumped or seed is spilled. It's all the same to me. The fact is you need to get that emergency contraception, okay Natalie?

54:14 Caller You do.

54:15 Adam How did you get the condom out?

54:18 Caller It was not a pleasant procedure.

54:21 Adam Did you do it?

54:22 Caller Yeah, I did it.

54:24 Adam Did you take my advice and use compressed air or did you just try to do it digitally? Compressed air will get it out faster than almost anything.

54:32 Caller I just went in and got it.

54:33 Drew I see. Where are you going to get the emergency contraceptive from?

54:36 Caller Probably from a local clinic.

54:38 Drew Okay. Keep that in your medicine cabinet.

54:41 Caller I also have one more question that Sarah actually brought to my attention. I heard that the symptoms for a urinary tract infection is also the same symptoms that you could find for chlamydia. Is that true?

54:54 Drew True. Or any other STD.

54:56 Caller Really?

54:58 Drew Okay. Have you got a problem?

55:00 Caller No. I was just curious because a friend had brought it up and she had been worried about it. So I thought I'd inquire for her.

55:05 Adam No.

55:05 Drew It's not to you to decide what you have. You gotta get checked out.

55:07 Caller I know.

55:08 Adam I know. I've said it before. But I'm gonna say it again. Having that vagina is a full-time job. I mean, it is. It's like you driving, you know, a vintage Jaguar for your daily driver. Just a hassle. I mean, it's great. It's great when everything's working great, but it's not an everyday car. You know, it's a Sunday car. You wouldn't want to be stuck with it.

55:31 Travis It requires a lot of care and attention.

55:32 Adam Yeah, when it's raining and when you're running late for work and the carbs aren't synchronized and, you know, the electrical's on the fritz. I mean, you know what I mean? It's like that vagina is just a full-time job. No wonder women don't get paid as much as men. They can't work as many hours with that vagina. They're constantly depending to it.

55:51 Drew Teams of people standing by to help them.

55:53 Adam You need a staff of people like, I see, you need like an entourage for your vagina.

55:59 Caller A vagina mechanic. Yeah, I mean, like I said, if you open up the hood and just poke about.

56:05 Adam It's like driving an exotic car every day.

56:09 Travis And you just can't do that.

56:10 Adam No, you just can't. And what we have in our pants is a nice Camry.

56:16 Caller You're lucky.

56:17 Caller Maybe.

56:18 Adam Yeah, actually, I got a...

56:19 Caller Mini Cooper.

56:20 Adam I got a Tercel.

56:21 Drew Yeah, I was going to say you have a...

56:22 Adam I got a Beige Tercel with no air. No power, four speed, no power windows, no power door locks, AM radio.

56:32 Drew And it locks brakes.

56:34 Caller Has it got an H-Truck?

56:35 Adam Yeah, it stops fine.

56:36 Caller Does it have an alarm system for it?

56:38 Adam No, no one will try to steal it. I came out one morning, some kids were poking around, I told them to beat it and that was it. No one wants it. Why put an alarm on it? I leave the underpants open at night. I don't want anyone breaking into it.

56:52 Caller Alright.

56:56 Adam Spare balls in the trunk, space saver balls though, the little ones, you know what I mean?

57:01 Caller Yeah.

57:01 Adam It doesn't look good at the beach. Alright, let's take one more call and then we'll hear something else from Travis.

57:08 Caller Chuck?

57:09 Yeah.

57:10 Adam You're 30?

57:11 Caller Yep.

57:11 Adam What's up?

57:12 Caller I'd like to say you're great and hi to the band. Hello, it's Chuck.

57:17 Travis Okay, damn it.

57:17 Caller And you got a new fan. Oh, cool.

57:19 Travis Thank you.

57:20 Caller And it's amazing how when people with really thick accents sing, their accent goes away.

57:26 Caller Yeah, I know.

57:28 Caller Okay. My question is for Dr. Drew. Yep. I kind of have two different problems. They kind of, and I'm wondering if there's a correlation between the two of them. I'm on antidepressants. Right now, I'm on Walbutrin and Boostbar. And I've been on probably a dozen different types of antidepressants within the last year because what happens is, they work for a short amount of time, sometimes only a week or two, sometimes two or three months, and then they stop working. Right. A couple of times, like when I was on Effexor, they tried to keep bumping it up to make it work. Right. And it actually had like an adverse effect.

58:15 Drew OK.

58:16 Caller Have you heard of that?

58:17 Drew Oh, yeah. I mean, you're describing a situation that I see commonly.

58:22 Caller OK.

58:24 Drew And it's usually, I'm surprised they've not been recommending ECT to you, shock therapies.

58:29 Caller A what?

58:29 Drew Shock therapies? Has that come up at all?

58:32 Caller Shock therapy?

58:34 Drew Yeah. Have they been brought up to you at all?

58:36 Caller No. No. They just keep on putting me on different medications.

58:39 Adam Why shock therapy, Drew?

58:40 Drew Because he's describing a situation that there's certain people that don't respond to antidepressant medicine very well. They respond for a very short period of time. And these people do respond to shock therapies, which has sort of been shown now to be quite effective and efficacious. I have to deal with this a lot with people that did a bunch of acid. That was my next question. People that did a bunch of LSD have such severe depletion of their brain chemicals that the antidepressants can't support it, but the shock therapies do.

59:06 Adam Yeah, it's kind of stigmatized, the shock therapy, though, right?

59:10 Drew It is, but you're asleep.

59:11 Caller We've all seen one flu over the years.

59:13 Drew Yeah, it's nothing like that. It's just running like current.

59:15 Adam It's much worse. Nothing like that.

59:17 Caller When I was 19 to about 21, I did massive amounts of LSD to this point. I mean like almost every single day.

59:26 Caller There you go.

59:27 Caller That is a lot. That was my question, if there was a correlation between the two of them.

59:31 Drew I see it all the time. My experience has been that you really got to go down towards the shock therapies to get some response. These are disabling depressions from LSD.

59:44 Adam There is a lesson to you, kiddies. You got to pay the fiddler at some point. You cannot just get high, incredibly crazy, out of your brain high constantly for long periods of time and expect not to change your brain chemistry. That's right. You are altering your brain so many times. It just stands to reason, even though lay people can understand why it would then be altered permanently at a certain point.

1:00:12 Travis Because it forgets what it's got to go back to.

1:00:14 Caller What made you stop taking acid or have you stopped taking acid?

1:00:19 Caller Chuck? Yeah, I haven't done any drugs probably in the last seven years. I was like one of those, you know...

1:00:27 Caller Did you just drift off them or did you...

1:00:29 Travis Make a decision?

1:00:31 Caller Well, it kind of just ran its course. You know, everything's fun and games when you're back, when it's happening and then finally you wake up one day and you realize that, you know, maybe this wasn't such a good idea. So I kind of, you know, just pretty much stopped.

1:00:50 Adam So Chuck, look into the electroshock stuff, all right?

1:00:54 Caller Good times.

1:00:56 Adam All right, it'll help you.

1:00:58 Drew It does work. Yeah.

1:00:59 Adam Okay.

1:01:00 Caller Thanks a lot.

1:01:00 Adam All right. Take care of yourself. All right. Yeah, that acid. It just, you can, listen, you can do whatever you want a couple of times, but you just can't do that stuff all the time.

1:01:13 Travis Not for two years.

1:01:14 Drew There are many people that get that after a few exposures.

1:01:17 Adam Right. But we call those lightweights.

1:01:19 Drew Call it what you will.

1:01:20 Adam All right. But they're bound. They're just weak people, weak-minded people. I have no sympathy for those people, but the people who abuse it, they got to stop. All right. We're going to hear something from Travis. How about that? Yes. Did you cue it up there, Anderson? This one is called Side. That is our new friends, Travis. The Invisible Man is the name of the CD. Two million sold worldwide. Drew thought it was just in the greater Los Angeles area that they sold.

1:05:32 Drew I was impressed though.

1:05:33 Travis Yeah, can we just say it's not.

1:05:38 Adam We were just talking about world events during the commercial and I'm sorry, during the song and the tragedy and all that. And you know it's something I don't know why I was just thinking about this but you know there's all these accusations coming from Afghanistan that we're bombing and targeting civilians and I thought you know.

1:05:58 Drew Another one of the Gables. What would be in it for us?

1:06:00 Adam Well A, what's in it for us but B, let's just say for the sake of argument you're right. We are solely targeting civilian population. Don't you think we'd be doing a little better job? You know what I mean? Like let's just use your logic. All right. We're going after civilians. Hey if we're going after civilians we take out the whole goddamn country would have been gone by now. The reason it's taking us a long time is because we're sort of picking our targets and trying to surgically do our thing and yes civilians get caught in that but if we were in fact going after them we just start some carpet bombing with the B-52s and the whole place would be burning right now. So use your logic and think about the arsenal we have in its proximity to where you are and if we were going after every hospital, every church, and every village would be burning right now obviously.

1:06:54 Caller The whole thing is so political as well though.

1:06:57 Adam Yeah it's just it's the things that's the accusations that people make that have zero merit or that they don't think through you know it's like well then we turn we turn guilty like oh yeah no well we're defensive like we don't mean to. No that that's the problem yeah I think somebody should look somebody in the eye and say you really think if this country was intending to get civilian targets we wouldn't have more than this by now yeah we'd have the whole country.

1:07:23 Caller The good thing is you don't even know, knowing you're not we're not told anything.

1:07:28 Adam No no not really but I'm fine with that.

1:07:31 Caller If you've seen the press conferences that the Pentagon have been having and they just can't really answer anything because if they were to answer anything and say exactly what they've been doing then they would be telling the enemy or whatever. So it's futile I'm massively opposed to it I think we both are because we've been going from hotel to hotel across America. CNN and there's it's just it's the fear thing you know it's like the volume of you know making everyone really really I don't know is it overly afraid or is it you know there's nothing more harmful for anybody wherever they're from than to live in a climate of fear.

1:08:07 Travis You know something that is harmful a very completely fundamental level.

1:08:12 Caller They stretch it out you know.

1:08:13 Drew It's never really happened in this country before but it's happening now.

1:08:16 Caller I know but it's I don't know it's kind of stretched out there's there's you know there came a point when they're they're just seeming to be fell in space until it's weird.

1:08:25 Travis It's kind of what the news does wherever you're on it you know. It makes you feel generally you're given bad news all the time. And you're made to feel afraid so that you run to government or to anybody in a position of authority for security.

1:08:38 Adam Well you know I maybe I'm being naive but I wonder and maybe this is just my personal feeling because I'm not really scared but I'm definitely interested in talking about everything and I know everyone's concerned and I know it's a topic that's on everyone's mind but I wonder and everyone says we're in fear, we're a nation in fear, but I wonder if you just stop people if they're actually really fearful. I think it's more that they're interested in it. It's provocative and I think there's no I'm not saying they don't have some sense of fear but I don't think this country's paralyzed and I don't think most people you come across are walking around in fear.

1:09:21 Travis I don't think they should. I don't think fear is a constructive thing ever.

1:09:25 Adam No and I think it's talked about more than it's feared. Do you know what I'm saying? Drew, you're such a puss. Please, you're driving me nuts. Here's what I'm saying, Drew. I know we have reason to be concerned and I know there are people that are fearful and you're fearful yourself, but you're not really, you're not fearful, you're not walking around in agony.

1:09:48 Drew I think if you have kids it feels totally different. If we're just me, bring it on. But when you have kids, you are walking around anxious 24-7.

1:10:00 Adam No, that's because you're half-Jewish.

1:10:01 Drew No, that's all the parents we talk to, other people come to my office and complain about it.

1:10:06 Adam Don't you think there's more talk about it than there is, it's going to happen to me? Do you know what I mean? How many people actually think something's going to happen that's going to involve them? Do you know what I'm saying?

1:10:16 Drew I have found there are sort of two camps. One is like, I'm not taking this stuff seriously, it doesn't apply to me. And other people are thinking, anytime now.

1:10:25 Adam I think almost everyone has that anytime, but I'm not going to be the one who's at the mall.

1:10:30 Drew I think that's a normal defense, though.

1:10:32 Adam Yeah, and that's what I'm saying. So people are talking about it, and they're fearful of it, but I don't think people have this realization, like I'm going to be on the next plane, or I'm going to be at this stadium.

1:10:42 Travis I don't think that anybody ever feels that way. I think that it's part of human nature to even deny that.

1:10:47 Drew I mean, the guys walking out of Omaha Beach, well, I looked around them and said, oh, those poor guys around me are not going to make it off.

1:10:52 Adam Right, right. Omaha Beach is not in Omaha, by the way. I just want to tell our young listeners, he's talking about World War II and D-Day, I'm guessing. All right, we're going to take ourselves a little break. Travis is here. At what percentage of our stone listeners do you figure Omaha Beach was in Omaha, Nebraska?

1:11:08 Drew Save It Private Ryan was a pretty popular film. I thought maybe they picked it up there.

1:11:11 Adam No, I think they're saying Nebraska's landlocked, cruise high. I don't know. All right, we'll take a break. We'll be back.

1:11:19 Caller Love Line, 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:11:52 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew over there. Travis is our guest tonight.

1:11:59 Caller Hello.

1:12:00 Adam Dougie and Fran are both here from the band. What do I want to say? The Invisible Band's the name of the CD. What else do I want to plug for Travis? Sold out at the Ampa Theater. Congratulations for tomorrow night.

1:12:12 Travis Thank you.

1:12:13 Adam And, all right.

1:12:15 Travis That's it?

1:12:16 Caller That's it, all right.

1:12:17 Adam Let's go. If you know, if I think it's something good to say, though, I'll say it.

1:12:21 Caller David.

1:12:24 Adam David. I heard something in the background.

1:12:28 Drew That was your voice. You're going, David. See? Oh, it's him snoring.

1:12:36 Adam Really?

1:12:37 Caller Listen. It is him snoring. Listen. Can we wake him up?

1:12:46 Caller David.

1:12:49 Caller Wake up.

1:12:50 Caller I don't know if that's snoring.

1:12:51 Adam That's how we snore here in the States.

1:12:53 Caller It sounds like someone going, ah, ah.

1:12:56 Caller What's the rhythm?

1:12:58 Caller Is that the guy that's got his girlfriend putting her finger on his bottom?

1:13:02 Adam That's what you end up like, a vegetable.

1:13:11 Caller He's an idiot.

1:13:13 Adam All right. Let's put them on home. We'll get back with them and check them with them. It's always fun when someone falls asleep. No greater tribute can be paid to a host all the time. Oftentimes, Drew nods off during one of my rants. When I start getting, a vagina is like a Steinway piano. Now, I hear Drew, ahhhhhh.

1:13:34 Drew Here's what I hear, though.

1:13:36 Adam Man has a kazoo. This is what he hears.

1:13:39 Caller And then, I'm in the back, I'm like, see, the reason the vagina is like the Steinway piano is that it needs constant tuning. And you need a band of technicians to look after it. Because it will go south on you, so. What a man has is a kazoo.

1:14:02 Adam No, no, no, no, harmonica, harmonica between his legs.

1:14:05 Caller You see, you can't break it. Hey, Drew, you listening?

1:14:08 Caller Huh?

1:14:09 Caller Harmonica.

1:14:11 Caller Yeah, harmonica.

1:14:12 Caller Yeah, brilliant.

1:14:12 Caller Yeah, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, I like it. Right.

1:14:16 Adam That's what happens. Cassandra.

1:14:20 Caller Hey, guys.

1:14:21 Adam Hey, you're 15. What's up?

1:14:23 Caller Yeah, my boyfriend performed oral sex on me. And a few days after, I noticed I had this red bump and I was really worried about it. And then it turned into a blister.

1:14:31 Drew Where is it?

1:14:32 Caller It's on my vagina.

1:14:34 Drew On the outside or the inside?

1:14:35 Caller The outside.

1:14:36 Drew The outside. A red bump that turned into a blister?

1:14:39 Caller Yeah, it sort of looks like a blister.

1:14:40 Caller I'm not really sure.

1:14:41 Drew Not like a zit?

1:14:42 Caller No.

1:14:43 Drew Like a blister?

1:14:44 Caller Yeah.

1:14:45 Caller Does he shave?

1:14:47 Caller What?

1:14:47 Caller Does he shave? Does he get stubble?

1:14:49 Caller Yeah.

1:14:50 Caller Well, that's maybe, maybe that one.

1:14:52 Adam How old is he?

1:14:53 Caller He's 18.

1:14:55 Drew Did he have any cold sores on his mouth or anything?

1:14:58 Caller No.

1:14:59 Drew Do you think this is herpes?

1:15:00 Caller That's what I was thinking it was.

1:15:02 Adam Well, maybe it's an ingrown hair.

1:15:03 Drew What do you mean sort of a blister? Blisters, you got a blister or you don't?

1:15:07 Caller It's like a red bump. That's kind of big.

1:15:10 Drew Yeah, but does it? A red bump can just be an infected, like these guys are talking about a little hair in fact, a zit basically.

1:15:15 Caller Well, I don't think it's an ingrown hair.

1:15:17 Adam Why not?

1:15:18 Drew Look, blisters are like pieced on top of the skin. They're underneath the skin.

1:15:24 Caller Yeah, I don't really like that.

1:15:26 Drew Yeah, it's not a blister.

1:15:27 Adam Well, is it in a part where you shave?

1:15:32 Caller No.

1:15:33 Adam No, it isn't.

1:15:34 Drew Where is it?

1:15:35 Caller It's like in my pubic hair.

1:15:37 Caller Above?

1:15:39 Caller It's right next to my clit.

1:15:41 Drew Okay. And is it, yeah, that's a, you can get cysts there.

1:15:45 Adam How many millimeters away would you say? I mean, as the crow flies.

1:15:53 Drew There's also something called molluscum contagiosum. They get these little red bumps that can look kind of funny. Yeah. This is not herpes though. Okay.

1:16:01 Caller So what do you think I should do?

1:16:03 Drew Well, if it goes away by itself, it's probably just to boil or...

1:16:06 Adam You take a nice hot bath.

1:16:07 Drew Yeah. Hot bath is a good thing.

1:16:09 Adam That's right. And an enema.

1:16:10 Drew And if it keeps going.

1:16:11 Caller As the joke goes.

1:16:13 Adam Hey, Cassandra?

1:16:15 Caller Yeah.

1:16:16 Adam This guy's 18?

1:16:17 Caller Yeah.

1:16:17 Adam Do you love him?

1:16:19 Caller Yeah.

1:16:19 Adam Does he love you?

1:16:21 Caller Yeah.

1:16:21 Drew You're 15?

1:16:22 Caller Yeah.

1:16:24 Adam Is he graduated high school?

1:16:26 Caller No.

1:16:26 Drew Are you sure you're ready to engage in that kind of behavior with this guy? It seems like it freaks you out just to sort of be strapped with the responsibility of what can happen with this behavior.

1:16:37 Caller I don't know.

1:16:37 Adam Trick question, Drew. Rhetorical question. Is he a senior at your high school?

1:16:43 Drew Yeah.

1:16:44 Adam You're in the what, ninth grade, tenth grade? Be careful. Don't get pregnant, right?

1:16:51 Caller All right.

1:16:52 Adam Are you having sex with him?

1:16:53 Caller No, not yet.

1:16:54 Adam Not yet. I'll tell you, to me, this whole oral thing coming before the intercourse is part of the dating rituals, would not have flown when I was in high school.

1:17:04 Drew You wouldn't have gone further than that? That would have been it?

1:17:06 Adam No, I'm saying, when you went down on a woman, you had intercourse with her first, or you were having intercourse with her simultaneously.

1:17:14 Drew That was way later in the game.

1:17:16 Adam Yeah, it was like down the road.

1:17:17 Drew That was deviant, right?

1:17:19 Adam Yeah.

1:17:20 Drew There's experimentation later.

1:17:22 Travis The order has been changed.

1:17:23 Adam Yeah, it really has. I mean, as bizarre as it sounds, and I think it's a little different with the woman performing it on the man, but the man performing it on the woman, like, think of all the buddies you had. It wasn't really discussed. I mean, there was, did you have sex? Did you feel a boob? You know, did she do this to you? But it wasn't ever, did you go down on her?

1:17:44 Drew Never.

1:17:45 Adam Yeah.

1:17:45 Drew It was not discussed. I never thought about that.

1:17:47 Adam Yeah, interesting.

1:17:48 Drew Fair point.

1:17:49 Caller The guys start talking about it when they get reached about 18, 19.

1:17:54 Drew Yeah, but they didn't used to talk about that part, that piece of story.

1:17:58 Travis As a stepping stone to them.

1:17:59 Drew Yeah, they didn't talk about it all. Think about it.

1:18:01 Adam Yeah, the oral sex, definitely not as popular. And another reason for me to be bitter about high school.

1:18:09 Travis Another one?

1:18:10 Adam Yeah, another one. Oh, I got a long list. Not enough time for me to show you the list, but it's a long, long list. Ross?

1:18:18 Hey there, how are you guys?

1:18:19 Adam Hey, you're 17.

1:18:20 Caller Hello.

1:18:21 Yeah, I just have a question for Travis, actually. Hello, Ross. How are you guys doing?

1:18:25 Travis Very well. How are you?

1:18:26 I'm doing great. I just had a couple of questions for you. I like the year in UK music has just been really, really cool. And I was wondering what you guys are thinking about some of the artists out there, like David Gray and Doves and Muse and all that. And what you guys are thinking about that?

1:18:41 Travis And Doves are fantastic. We're going on tour with Doves actually next year in the UK. We went to see them in New York and they were amazing. One of the best live bands about. And there's loads of good stuff about it. There's a band called The Beta Band, who are fantastic. They've got a great new record out called Hot Shots 2.

1:18:58 Adam Let's not forget the trash cans and address.

1:19:01 Travis Not to forget the trash cans of course.

1:19:03 No, the cool thing about the Beta Band actually is I got to see them with Radiohead this year.

1:19:07 Travis Ah great.

1:19:08 They're absolutely awesome. And I wonder what you guys thought of the Strokes because I know you guys played with them at Leeds not long ago.

1:19:13 Caller They're great.

1:19:14 Travis They're lovely guys as well. Really, really cool. And brilliant band.

1:19:18 Caller Yeah, proper band.

1:19:19 Travis Made a good record as well.

1:19:20 Adam Ross, how do you know so much about music at 17?

1:19:23 Caller Boy, you know, I actually own a little DJ business and I read the Q and the NME, Adam. That's pretty much it.

1:19:30 Travis Good for you.

1:19:30 Drew 17 or 47?

1:19:32 Caller 17, Drew.

1:19:34 Adam Let me tell you something else about the DJ business. Back when I was in the DJ business, we had to get milk crates and fill them full with records and drug, drag them, drag them to every wedding environment. Now you kids with your custom made CDs.

1:19:50 Caller Yeah.

1:19:51 Adam I mean, I wasn't in the business, but it's on my list.

1:19:54 Travis Is this another one in the list?

1:19:56 Adam It's another one of the things on my list. Sometimes I even find stuff that didn't affect me that much because I wasn't a DJ, but I still have sympathy for those who were. I mean, think about that. Remember when guys would like in the 80s would do a wedding and the guy would show up with like three or four of those milk crates full of, you know, each weighed 70 pounds, fully laden and they'd be dragging them out from the truck.

1:20:15 Travis These guys were fit though.

1:20:17 Adam Yeah. They'd keep you in shape. Now, I guess you get away, they get a couple of CDs.

1:20:21 Drew MP3 player.

1:20:22 Adam Yeah. You're done, right? Custom do all that. You play the old time rock and roll by Bob Seeger. So the old folks can dance. Now, why is the wedding music the worst? You got to hear Billy Idol's Mony Mony a couple of times. At least twice. Yeah. What is that? David?

1:20:43 Drew David's still sleeping.

1:20:44 Adam Oh, yeah. That's right.

1:20:49 Travis Is he there?

1:20:50 Drew David?

1:20:52 Caller Boring.

1:20:54 Adam David? All right. Well, now, he's entered RAM and stopped the snoring. Debbie?

1:21:00 Caller Yeah.

1:21:01 Adam You're 22?

1:21:02 Caller Yeah. I had a question for Dr. Drew. Yeah. Well, I was on ortho-tricyclin, and it was last year I got married and I got in birth control, and I got depressed, and I just figured it out a year later. So I went to the psychiatrist and they said that it might be my birth control, whatever, and I went to the doctor and they said it might be. So they put me off for a month, and everything's changed.

1:21:31 Drew You feel better?

1:21:32 Caller Yeah, I do, and I did not have any sex drive at all.

1:21:37 Drew While you were on the pill?

1:21:38 Caller While I was on the pill. My husband, I feel sorry for him because I only had sex with him maybe once a week. Anyway, I was wondering if you knew any other kind of type of birth control that I can go on that wouldn't affect me like that? My doctor said that there's no other kind of pill that I can go on that would not affect me in depression. They said that the Depravera shot would make me even worse.

1:22:05 Drew I fully agree with that. That it tends to be the case that the progesterone is what causes the depression. So it might be a weaker progestational agent. You're going to have to experiment. It may be nothing. They all have the potential of causing depression. They also all, many, have the potential of improving depression.

1:22:25 Adam So you're just experiment.

1:22:27 Drew That's really all you can do. And the guess would be that the lower potency progesterone, the higher potency estrogens would probably be good for you, but maybe not.

1:22:38 Adam You're married though, so who cares if he knocks you up? Do you know what I'm saying?

1:22:43 Caller You want me to have kids?

1:22:44 Adam Yeah, you're married. Go ahead.

1:22:47 Caller We're not ready for kids yet.

1:22:48 Adam I know, but it's precisely you kind of people I want having kids, the ones who don't want to have kids. I want to wait until my husband finishes his doctoral thesis. I'm only making 85 grand a year. I'd like to get up to 100,000, and we're only living in a four-bedroom house. These are the people I give my blessing to as far as the kids.

1:23:11 Caller And they just wouldn't do it.

1:23:12 Adam Yes, it's ironic that the people who don't want to have kids... We talk to people all night who are 15, whose boyfriend is incarcerated, who are still living at home, and have no difficulty with kids. I mean, fundamentally, fine. Yeah, I got two kids. I'll have a third one.

1:23:29 Drew Then we can use condoms and whatnot until then.

1:23:32 Adam All right. Travis is our guest tonight. We're going to take ourselves a little break. When we come back this week to Ron, who's addicted to porn, he looks at that Internet porn. Oh yeah, and we'll get to him after that. All right. Well, finally, Drew, carrying his weight around here. Drew, what do you say in the six years that I've known you, wouldn't you say that the bulk of my medical questions could be distilled down to what can I drink with? Which ones are?

1:24:46 Drew Yeah. How can I score? What do I drink with? How much can I take with? Yeah, that kind of thing.

1:24:50 Adam See, because to me, when I see that little warning label on the medicine that says, do not drink with this, that means game on.

1:25:00 Drew That's why I explicitly instruct the pharmacist never to put that on the labels as fast as I can.

1:25:05 Adam Yeah. That means it's time to supersize. But I don't know if that warning label is saying, it's screwing your liver up, in which case I don't want to drink or just you're going to pass out, in which case I do want to drink. So I always play it safe and just drink moderately. Okay. Right. Okay.

1:25:25 Travis Seems sensible.

1:25:26 Caller Do you operate heavy machinery?

1:25:28 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, no. It's the only thing I got to work is the TiVo and myself really at that hour. Not in that order, by the way. Ron? Adam. Hey. Hey, 28. So you're addicted to the porn, the Internet porn?

1:25:46 Caller Maybe a slight stretch on your call screen. I wanted to ask if porn is addictive.

1:25:53 Drew Yeah. In fact, there's a whole school of professionals that now deal with Internet porn specifically.

1:25:59 Adam I'm doing some guest lecturing at that school.

1:26:02 Drew You're not lecturing, you're a case study.

1:26:04 Adam Yes.

1:26:04 Caller Thank you.

1:26:07 Adam What's that, Ron?

1:26:08 Caller You're doing a lecturing on how to get addicted?

1:26:12 Adam Yeah, they just bring in keynote speakers every once in a while.

1:26:15 Drew We bring in cases and we let people sort of poke at them.

1:26:18 Caller Right.

1:26:18 Adam That's for young students.

1:26:20 Drew Ask questions.

1:26:23 Caller I was looking on the Internet and you do the search on the Internet and you always get, inevitably, you get some anti-porn sites, you know?

1:26:31 Adam Oh, you do?

1:26:32 Caller Yeah, well, I guess I was doing the wrong search. Right. And I was just wondering if they're just wackos because they're like once you get a hit, you'll need like a bigger hit, you'll never be able to stop and stuff.

1:26:42 Drew No, that's that there is a syndrome of porn addiction. It's unusual to see porn addiction without first being addicted to a chemical, though, so it becomes sort of something that supports or is replacing a drug of choice. Though you can certainly become compulsive with the porn, it can start to cause you a lot of money and take time away from more productive things.

1:27:01 Adam Yeah. Here's the, you gotta just take care of yourself and get back to business. You know what I'm saying, Ron? Yeah. There's certain kind of foreplay you can do with yourself from a masturbatorial standpoint where you spent three hours on the computer and then shoot your wad. But I'm saying shoot your wad in the first ten minutes and get back to whatever it is you were supposed to be doing.

1:27:23 Travis All that staring at the screen is very possibly eyesight.

1:27:25 Adam I have this like, I have this bizarre, Yeah, you're blind, right? I have this bad syndrome of here's what happens. I pick up my magazine, I start having at myself. In the magazine, I read all these great provocative advertisements for movies. So here's what's been going on for, it's been 20 years. I look at it and I have an erection and I say, I got to get this movie. I got to get this movie. Then I think, wait a minute, I need this movie now. Okay, I don't need this movie. Even Next Day Delivery is not going to cut it. I need this movie like in the next five to ten minutes. I don't need it in three to four working days. So, but I swear to myself, I say, okay, okay, I'm going to finish myself off, but then I'm going to get this movie because this is going to be great. Well, then when I'm done, I'm done. I look at the magazine, I go, oh, you disgust me. Never again, never. I weep a little and I say that is it. As God is my witness, never again. Now, you fast forward about 12 to 18 hours, the magazine's open again, I see the advertisement for this movie, it's like documentary on jugs or something, and I go, oh my God, I got to get this movie.

1:28:43 Drew You wish you'd ordered it before.

1:28:45 Adam Then days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months, and months turn into years, and I never go get that movie because of that syndrome. So how do I break that? What do you do with that, Drew? Here's the point, I need to order those movies while my pants are up, but I will not do it.

1:29:03 Drew I don't understand how you have the time to service your bunker and deal with magazines and order more films.

1:29:10 Adam I can't order them, that's the case.

1:29:12 Drew It's a full time gig here.

1:29:14 Adam I can't order anything, I gotta get an assistant. That's the only answer. One time, one time I, you know the story, Drew. I actually was looking through one of my magazines and I was looking at when they do the ratings for the porn movies, they review porn movies. And there's this movie with Ron Jeremy and Minka, who's the number one Asian big boob queen. And I was reading it and looking at little pictures and I thought, oh, this is a classic. This is an instant classic. I'm gonna get this movie, I thought. And then I thought, you know what? I can't wait. I'm gonna rent this movie. I'm gonna call the video store and I'm gonna ask them if they have this movie and I'll come down there with my pans around my ankles and come get it. But the problem was, is the name of the movie was Spank Me, F Me. And that's Minka and it wasn't abbreviated. It was Spank Me, the whole word written out. So I called the place and it was a regular video place I called, you know, but with a porn section. And so, you know, the guy behind the counter, yeah, hello. And you always get real serious in medical. Yeah, I'm looking for an adult selection. This is for a mature movie starring Ron Jeremy. It's called Spank Me, F Me and I said the whole word and he was, there's like a long pause and he goes, what? No, no, you know what the thing that was weird now? Here's what happened. I didn't say the whole word. I said, spank me, F me, because I didn't want to tell the guy to F off on it. And he said, huh? And I said, spank me, F me. And he went, what? And then I said the whole thing. And he hung up on you. He paused and then he hung up on me. Now I got too much time. Just look, just beat off and get back to whatever you're doing. You can waste.

1:31:09 Travis You do spend a lot of time.

1:31:10 Adam You spend a lot of free, there's a lot of pre-ejaculation time that is completely wasted because it's all to get to that place. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And if you take that over years and months, I mean, it's a lifetime.

1:31:27 Drew Worse than sleep.

1:31:29 Adam Yeah, it really, really adds up. So I'm saying guys, all you guys that are addicted to stuff, just beat yourself off. Be virtually beat yourself off. You will not go down to the whore house. You will not call the massage parlor. What about all these guys that are sitting home at 2.30 in the morning, they open the newspaper, they make the phone call at 300 bucks later, some skanky chick comes over, they're loaded, they don't even remember it the next morning, they couldn't get up, just beat yourself off immediately.

1:31:59 Drew Feverishly as you say.

1:32:00 Adam Feverishly, beat yourself off and go to bed. This is much better life.

1:32:05 Drew Spread your chi.

1:32:06 Adam There you go and get back to life.

1:32:09 Drew All right, let's see if David's awake yet.

1:32:11 Travis Oh, no.

1:32:12 Caller David.

1:32:15 Travis Hello, David.

1:32:16 Adam No, he's really passed out. That's it. Drew, you don't want to talk to anybody else? We'll be right back. How about another beat-off story? I will be back.

1:32:26 Caller Okay.

1:32:26 Caller So I know there's nothing wrong with me.

1:32:28 Caller So what's up?

1:32:29 Caller I was like you and I used to think that these datelines were totally cheesy.

1:32:32 Caller Why can't I meet anybody?

1:32:33 Caller But I tried everything else and thought, what the hell? So I called the dateline and actually met a cool guy.

1:32:36 Caller I called the dateline and I hooked up with some cool people.

1:32:38 Caller Believe it or not, other normal people are out there looking too.

1:32:41 Caller 877-889-DATE.

1:32:44 Caller Loveline. 1-800-LOVE-191. We'll be right back.

1:33:25 Adam All right, I want to thank Dougie and Fran for coming in here from Travis. Boy, where did the time go?

1:33:32 Drew It was a good show.

1:33:33 Travis Yeah, it was a pleasure.

1:33:35 Caller A total pleasure.

1:33:36 Adam Yeah, two hours.

1:33:38 Travis Just like that.

1:33:39 Adam Yeah. Thanks, guys. We wish you success. We know you don't need it, but we'll wish it for you anyway. Thanks, man.

1:33:46 Drew Well, too many in this country.

1:33:49 Adam No, worldwide.

1:33:51 Travis The next time we come in, Drew, it will be too many in this country.

1:33:52 Drew That's right.

1:33:53 Adam Thank you. And please do come back when your tour brings you around this way, or any new projects, anything like that. Thanks, guys. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, mahalo.

1:34:06 Drew Feverishly, as you say.

1:34:07 Adam Feverishly beat yourself off and go to bed.

1:34:11 Caller Good night.

1:34:13 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Monday, October 22, 2001