Episode 1000754886617

0:59 Voiceover 50 seconds.

1:07 Drew, turn off your page, or we have 40 seconds.

1:12 Give me a go, no go for launch. Booster.

1:16 Go.

1:18 Guidance.

1:19 Voiceover 30 seconds.

1:19 Surgeon. Go flat.

1:21 EECOM. We're go flat. GNC.

1:23 Adam We're go.

1:25 Control. Procedure.

1:28 Go.

1:29 Adam FAO.

1:30 We are go.

1:31 Adam Network.

1:31 Go. Recovery. Go. Capcom. We're go flat.

1:36 Launch control. This is Houston.

1:38 We are go for launch.

1:39 10, 9, 8, 7, 6.

1:54 Actually oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

2:01 One, go.

2:03 Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

2:09 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline, I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician and Addiction Medicine Specialist. No guest tonight. Just the way I like it, Drew. You know why?

2:27 Drew Because you don't have to work so hard.

2:28 Adam More me.

2:29 Drew Oh, yeah.

2:30 Adam More me.

2:31 Drew Everyone listen to Adam.

2:32 Adam Everyone listen to me. So, we will just take your calls and you will be the guest tonight. Drew, anything you'd like to get to before we get on the phones? How about you? Nope. Nothing to say at all. Elizabeth?

2:48 Yes.

2:49 Adam You're 23?

2:50 Caller Yes, I am.

2:51 Adam What's up?

2:52 Caller What's going on? How are you doing?

2:53 Adam Good. How are you doing?

2:54 Caller I'm fine.

2:55 Adam That's good.

2:56 Caller Wanted to get some info. Well, my boyfriend actually wants to have another girl.

3:02 Drew Shocked.

3:03 Caller I'm sorry?

3:04 Drew I had just such a rare, rare sort of impulse on a 23-year-old male's part.

3:10 Caller Well, the only thing is I've never thought about it. I've never thought about being with another girl. It's just never crossed my mind and it's like I want to please him.

3:20 Adam Right.

3:20 Caller But it's okay.

3:21 Drew How? This is...

3:24 Adam Reserve some judgment for just once.

3:26 Drew No, I can't. No.

3:27 Adam How long have you been together with him?

3:29 Caller Well, four years.

3:31 Adam Four years. Do you have any kids?

3:33 Caller No.

3:34 Adam Are you serious about this relationship?

3:38 Caller Yeah.

3:39 Adam You are? Are you thinking about marriage?

3:42 Caller Not anytime soon.

3:43 Adam Well, are you thinking about it? Maybe he's...

3:45 Caller I am.

3:46 Adam Right. He's not thinking about it.

3:48 Caller Possibly not.

3:49 Adam See, here's the thing that's interesting about this is you're thinking about marriage. It's been four years and you're thinking, what I really need to do is please this guy.

4:00 Drew Right.

4:00 Adam Because I would like to make this guy my man.

4:02 Drew That'll show him how committed I am. But you're going in the wrong direction, Elizabeth. I'm completely wrong direction.

4:10 Adam Yeah. The problem is, is this ends up being a strike against the relationship. It doesn't aid you in the relationship.

4:18 Drew This is him just seeing what he can get away with, with you. Completely.

4:22 Caller I mean, okay. Yeah, that too.

4:24 Adam You know what this is, Drew, tell me if you've done this and then try to be honest for a second. You know, it's like there's certain jobs, there's certain relationships, there's certain situations that you treat like a rental car. Like you think to yourself, what do I care? I'm going to be around for a week.

4:41 Drew Right.

4:42 Adam Then I'm going to turn the thing back in. I'm going to get some takeout, eat it on my lap, light up a nice cigar, throw it into reverse when I'm going forward 10 miles an hour.

4:51 Drew They call this good for now.

4:53 Adam Good for now.

4:54 Drew Yeah.

4:54 Adam Yeah, this is a job where I don't particularly care if the boss gets pissed off and fires me, so I'll show up late. This is a rental car.

5:01 Drew It's good enough for now.

5:02 Adam It's a rental car.

5:03 Drew Yeah.

5:03 Adam And if we have it and the wheels come off, who cares?

5:06 Drew Yeah. That's where he's going with this.

5:08 Adam Well, he's been around for four years and-

5:11 Drew That's the kind of prick he is.

5:12 Adam Not made a move. Why do you think he's going to want to get married?

5:18 Drew No. Has he given that don't talk to me about marriage thing?

5:24 Caller No, he's never specifically said, I want to get married.

5:29 Drew Has he said, don't talk to me about that, I'm not ready?

5:32 Caller No, never really talked about it.

5:34 Adam Well, obviously you're scared to bring it up for a reason.

5:37 Caller No, I'm not.

5:38 Adam Well, you want to get married and-

5:39 Drew Four years you've been wanting to bring it up and you haven't.

5:43 Caller It was just something, you know-

5:45 Drew Hey, Elizabeth, four years you wanted to bring it up and you haven't. You're afraid of something.

5:51 Caller No, not too much. I'm just wanting everything to go smoothly before everything happens.

5:58 Adam Well, listen here, Einstein, you've been wanting to get married for, let's say, at least a couple of years. Why have you not brought that up to him?

6:09 Caller I've asked him.

6:10 Drew What does he say?

6:13 Caller He laughed.

6:15 Adam Okay. Well, that's kind of what we're talking about. You do, you have got an answer.

6:20 Caller Yeah.

6:21 Adam The answer is, but.

6:24 Drew You've got to be kidding.

6:25 Caller Maybe we're both not ready for it yet.

6:27 Adam No.

6:27 Drew No, you're ready.

6:29 Adam No, neither one of you is ready in reality.

6:31 Drew In reality, but you're ripe.

6:32 Adam You want to get married and he doesn't. That's the reality.

6:36 Drew So your job is to assert yourself, not to please him. Please him just puts you further into the tank.

6:43 Adam Okay. So maybe you should start. What's this guy do for a living?

6:52 Caller He's a hard worker. I tell you that much. Oh boy. Yeah.

6:56 Adam Nobody sells drugs to preschoolers like this guy. 50 hours a week, this guy works selling drugs to preteens. What does he do for a living?

7:06 Caller He's an electrician.

7:07 Adam All right. Decent. Doing any union work, is he?

7:12 Caller Just here and there.

7:15 Drew Wait a minute.

7:16 Adam Hold on. Let me ask this. What is it with women that they have no idea?

7:20 Drew What you're asking.

7:21 Adam No, not what you're asking. Well, they don't know what you're asking, but they have no idea what their men do for a living. You understand? I said to my mom the other day, what's my stepdad? What's he make? What's he make a year? She said, oh, I don't know. I said, no, I don't need to. You don't have to round to the dollar. I don't need cents. Oh, I don't know. I said, well, wait a minute. Is it 40 grand a year? Is it 100 grand a year? I honestly, I couldn't tell you. I said, are you kidding? This, by the way, why we fight all the time because I treat my mom like a listener and I get indignant. Are you high? What do you mean you don't know how much he makes?

7:59 Drew Do you say listen Tardo?

8:00 Adam Yeah, listen Tardo. Listen Tard Mom. I don't like your tone. Well, Jesus Christ, how much does the guy make? No idea. This is like when we talk to these women whose dad, he flew 700 carrier missions in an A4 over Vietnam and is highly decorated. They go, I think he did something on a boat.

8:21 Drew With airplanes?

8:22 Adam You may not even get the airplane part out of them. Okay. Elizabeth?

8:27 Caller Yes.

8:28 Adam I don't trust this guy. Sounds like you're covering up for him. Does he work? Is he working consistently?

8:34 Caller Yes.

8:34 Adam He is?

8:35 Caller Yes.

8:35 Adam Does he make okay money? Yes. How old is he? Twenty-seven. It's time, four years, he's twenty-seven. Not even thinking about marriage, huh?

8:46 Caller No.

8:47 Adam Right. You don't think you could do any better than him?

8:52 Caller Well, I love him, so I'm not really out there looking for-

8:55 Adam Okay.

8:55 Drew All right.

8:56 Adam So and you think if you give him the threesome, maybe it'll bring you guys closer together?

9:02 Caller Possibly.

9:02 Drew No, not possible.

9:05 Adam Did you have anyone in mind?

9:07 Caller Did I have anyone in mind?

9:10 Adam Did you have anyone in mind?

9:12 Caller No, I didn't.

9:13 Adam Did he have anyone in mind?

9:15 Caller Not at the moment.

9:17 Adam But the way you answered that was if he had somebody in mind, wasn't it?

9:21 Caller Okay, well, we'll see this girl like a friend of mine and she's just like-

9:25 Adam Hold on. Loveline recreation.

9:27 Drew Did you have someone in mind?

9:29 Adam Did I have anyone in mind?

9:31 Drew Did you have someone in mind?

9:32 Adam Did I have it or did he?

9:35 Drew Did he have someone in mind?

9:36 Adam No.

9:37 Drew Not at the moment.

9:38 Adam No.

9:39 Drew Not at the moment was the answer.

9:41 Adam Elizabeth, he does have somebody in mind or not?

9:45 Caller No.

9:46 Adam No, he doesn't.

9:47 Caller No.

9:47 Adam Okay, so the last we spoke to you 10 seconds ago, he sort of had someone in mind.

9:52 Caller I mean, that's the point. I had this girlfriend of mine that she's kind of off a little bit. She's not sure what she wants to do or who she wants to be with. And I told him about it, not knowing that he would say, okay, well, maybe her.

10:06 Drew Elizabeth considers her off, you know what I'm saying?

10:09 Caller I mean, I would never think of being with a girl.

10:13 Adam Okay.

10:13 Drew Well, you're telling us about your.

10:15 Caller I would do it for him.

10:16 Drew Yeah, but that's.

10:18 Adam All right. Listen, goofball. He will be further away from marrying you. If you get into this.

10:26 Drew Guaranteed. That's a guarantee.

10:28 Adam That is a fact. I don't want to tell you, I'm not here to pass moral judgment and I'm not here to squelch people's plans and notions, especially around the holidays of having threesomes. But I'm just telling you as a fact and from our experience, you will be further away from matrimony with this guy if you have the threesome with him. That is our experience. Okay?

10:51 Drew There you go. All right.

10:53 Adam And we suggest you assert yourself, ask him if he's going to get married, tell him to ask or get off the pot, and if he's not, listen to that and move on. All right, goofball? Yes. And kick your dad in the nuts if you ever see him again.

11:07 Caller I will.

11:09 Adam Whenever he gets Corolla. All right.

11:10 Caller Oh, believe me, I will.

11:11 Adam Is he in the can?

11:13 Caller I'm sorry?

11:14 Adam Is he in the joint right now?

11:15 Caller No.

11:15 Adam All right. Do you see your dad?

11:17 Caller No. Yeah.

11:18 Adam Shocking. Okay. If you do come across him, I want you to kick him, though, right?

11:21 Caller Oh, I will.

11:22 Adam Yeah, because he's a bad guy.

11:22 Drew She's been planning that for a while.

11:23 Caller Oh, yes, very much.

11:24 Adam Thank you. All right, baby.

11:25 Drew Do you understand that's what set you up for this? Oh, there we go.

11:28 Adam Don't have any kids.

11:29 Drew Please.

11:30 Adam Steffi?

11:30 Drew Dear God, don't.

11:31 Adam Don't even have a hamster. Steffi, you're 19.

11:35 Caller Yeah.

11:35 Adam What's up there?

11:37 Caller Well, I started drinking when I was about 13, all right?

11:39 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

11:42 Caller Yeah, and then I started, like, you know, cutting school and stuff, like, go, hey, mister, like across the street at the liquor store and stuff like that.

11:47 Drew Go, hey, mister? Oh, I see.

11:48 Caller Yeah, hey, mister. That's how I get liquor. And I get drunk in the woods with some friends and whatnot.

11:53 Drew Slow down, slow down here. How'd the hey, mister, who were the guys that you'd pick on to buy beer for you?

11:57 Caller Well, most people go to a liquor store in the morning.

12:00 Drew What would they say to you when you'd go, hey, mister? Well, I look older.

12:04 Caller I didn't look like a little kid at the time. Like, I always looked like older, you know?

12:07 Adam Yeah, she looked like 15.

12:08 Drew 14, yeah.

12:09 Caller I'd be like, you know, what's up? Will you go on the liquor store and get me something to drink? And half of them would say no, the other half would be like, okay. So yeah, I do that.

12:16 Drew Whoa, hold on.

12:17 No, I drink alcohol.

12:19 Adam Sometimes he's like, you know what, I'm 13, I usually drink. And I'd be, you know, go to the vending, hey, mister, and I go to the woods, and I was up at the pine hole, and I'm like, what? Hey, mister, you know what I mean? Guy going in, hey, mister. No, I didn't like that. I like something. I said, hey, come on, and I go to the woods. So anyway, I'm going to the woods, stay with the mister.

12:39 Why you act so stupid like that?

12:41 Adam Stabbing?

12:42 Yeah.

12:42 Adam Slow it down, baby. We're old, we can't stay up.

12:46 Drew We can't process like that.

12:48 Okay.

12:48 Adam So you get someone to buy you booze, get someone to buy you booze, and you go to the woods and you drink it.

12:53 Caller Yeah.

12:53 Adam All right.

12:54 Okay.

12:54 Adam This is-

12:55 Drew Staph Rockolla.

12:56 Caller Yeah.

12:57 Adam At age 13.

12:58 Caller Uh-huh.

12:59 Adam All righty.

13:00 Caller And then I got caught because I would go into school drunk. And they gave me these AA classes. And I had to complete a certain amount of them. And if I didn't, then you know-

13:10 Drew Well, the fact that you consider AA a class means you didn't do crap in those sessions.

13:15 Caller No, not really.

13:16 Drew You didn't even participate, you didn't listen and do crap.

13:19 Adam So what's your question?

13:20 Drew Yeah. Well, there you go.

13:21 Caller Yeah. So now me and my boyfriend, Brandon, we'll drink about 540s for breakfast. And then throughout the day, we're constantly drinking and I have friends come over and stuff.

13:32 Drew Hold on.

13:32 Adam Is your boyfriend's name Brandon?

13:35 Caller Brandon.

13:36 Adam Okay. Boy, you even shorten that one up.

13:38 Brandon.

13:39 Adam That's not my boyfriend, Brandon. Brandon, you drink 540s?

13:46 Caller Yeah, like 540s in the morning. And then like throughout the day we'll drink like 2040s and then we'll have like...

13:50 Adam Hold on, hold on, hold on. In the morning, what time in the morning?

13:54 Caller Like, you know, like lunchtime, 12 or so.

13:56 Drew It's when they get up.

13:57 Adam In the morning when you get up. So it's not really in the morning. It's noontime, right? And you drink 540 ounces.

14:03 Drew Between you?

14:04 Caller Uh-huh, between me and Brandon. No, I have five myself and then you'll have...

14:07 Drew That was Brandon again, by the way. Brandon.

14:09 Adam Is his name Brandon?

14:10 Drew Or Brann?

14:12 Adam How come you can't say your boyfriend's name?

14:14 Caller Brandon, Brandon, Brandon. There.

14:17 Okay.

14:18 Adam Okay. It gets short to Brandon.

14:20 Brandon, Brandon.

14:21 Adam So you drink and then you drink 20, 40 ounces during the day?

14:26 Caller Yeah, throughout the day between me and him.

14:28 Adam And is that just cheap malt liquor kind of thing?

14:30 Caller Yeah, like...

14:32 Drew Here's the great news. You will get liver disease way before he does.

14:36 Caller Yeah, I heard that.

14:37 Drew Women lack an enzyme in the stomach to break down alcohol. It's actually a couple stages after it's alcohol and it creates a liver toxin. Women have a five-time greater risk of cirrhosis than men.

14:48 Adam And who drinks the bulk of this booze? Do you guys pretty much split it? You guys split it, huh?

14:54 Caller Yeah.

14:55 Adam So, hold on. So you're drinking like 12, 13, 40 ounces a day?

15:01 Uh-huh.

15:02 Caller Yeah. It's getting really ridiculous. And like, you see, the thing is, the problem is...

15:07 Adam Right...

15:08 Caller .my friends and stuff, like, notice this problem. Because my friends, like, they barely do anything. Well, yeah.

15:14 Drew Compared to you, it's a, yeah, and nobody drinks.

15:17 Adam But, but, Steffi, I understand it's a problem, but why not switch over to hard stuff?

15:23 Caller I do.

15:24 Caller And then I'll drink some ramen, some vodka, and stuff like that.

15:26 Adam But it just seems like so much work to drink.

15:29 40s are cheaper, though.

15:32 Adam 40s are cheaper, but to...

15:33 Caller It's like two bucks.

15:34 Adam Physically consume that volume, you know? I mean, I mean, you know, there's every three of those is like a gallon or something. I mean, how big a gal are you?

15:47 Caller Not that big.

15:48 Caller Like medium.

15:49 Adam I mean, it's like eating 120 loaves of bread every day or something.

15:54 I don't want to have to pee a lot.

15:56 Adam I just... I'm always amazed. I used to work with Russ the Drywall. I drank a case of Tall Boys every day of like old Milwaukee 16 oz. Every day, I was like, how do you drink a case?

16:08 Caller Yeah, but this isn't like a 15, 16 hour span throughout a day. It's not like all right away.

16:12 Drew Oh, isn't that okay? Well, that's different.

16:15 Adam Okay, so you got a problem.

16:17 Caller Yeah, and see, it's like... I feel like when I go out in public, it's like, I have to be drunk or I can't be myself now.

16:22 Drew Well, you don't drink, you're going to have a seizure, Steph. This is profound alcoholism.

16:26 Adam What do you guys do for work?

16:29 Caller We're not working at this time.

16:30 Adam What do you do for money?

16:31 Caller My parents give it to us. I don't live with my parents or anything, but I'll get money from my grandparents or my parents or something like that.

16:39 Adam That's a lot of booze.

16:40 Caller Yeah. I spend like 20 bucks a day, 30 bucks, something like that.

16:43 Adam What about Brendan? Does he want to clean up too?

16:47 Caller Yeah, he does too, but I started it with him. I was the one who started it.

16:52 Adam Well, it seems like you're both going to have to quit the 40, 40 ounces a day.

16:59 Drew If the relationship is going to survive, yeah. But this is profound alcoholism, and you do not stop on your own. You've got to be medically supervised for this.

17:06 Caller I mean, I've had like a shrink before and stuff, like try to help me with this, and they just say I have like this antisocial disorder or something.

17:12 Drew Well, you may have that too, but you also have profound alcoholism, and that needs to be treated in a chemical dependency setting, in a hospital.

17:18 Adam Because she'll go into withdrawal.

17:20 Drew The withdrawal can be profound from this. And not only that, if you have other psychiatric conditions, those need to be assessed and treated, and you obviously need to be thrown into a very highly intensive program, because you're obviously resistive, you've been in before, you do nothing, and you kind of defied about this stuff.

17:35 Adam Well, she was 13 when she was in.

17:38 Drew You don't casually call someone antisocial.

17:41 Adam I'm amazed at the tolerance of the human body.

17:45 Drew Women get nailed, though. Women get bad liver disease.

17:48 Adam But I'm just amazed that a woman who's, by her own description, not overweight, you know, 135 pound woman can just chug herself 13, 14, 40 ounces a day every day and be sort of functional about it.

18:05 Drew Tolerance.

18:06 Adam I know, but just putting down that much liquid. And I don't know, Drew, if you've had yourself a nice 40 ounces of malt liquor.

18:15 Drew If I drink three cokes a day, it's like huge.

18:20 Adam But the malt liquor does not just slide across the tongue and down the gullet. I mean, it's nasty tasting. You really have to work to drink that much and especially women. Women like wine coolers and cosmopolitans and like your wife, she likes a Red Bull and vodka. I mean, that's just for a woman, a young woman to drink that much malt liquors. We've never heard that, have we? All right. You got to get yourself checked in somewhere, Steffi. You and Brennan.

18:53 Drew Brennan.

18:53 Adam Brennan. John? John?

18:57 Drew Hello?

18:59 Adam Uh-oh.

19:00 Drew What's up, John?

19:05 Adam Let's talk to Jackie, who's 24. Jackie?

19:09 Caller Yes.

19:09 Adam What's happening?

19:12 Caller To put it briefly, my husband and I got in an insanely mad fight last night, and he pushed all the buttons, and I ended up hitting him a couple times. Right. And then he went out in the living room, where our two kids were, listening to the whole thing, picked up my daughter, and made me seem like the bad one.

19:29 Adam Well, now wait a minute.

19:32 Caller Well, there's a history of us arguing. We've been married for two years, been together for five. My oldest daughter is two.

19:40 Adam Uh-huh.

19:41 Caller And my son is five months.

19:44 Adam Yeah. Can't you guys knock it off for the goddamn kids, please?

19:47 Caller I try. But my other issue is that I have a problem. I cannot function. I break down and cry at the littlest things, and my daughter's seen it.

19:58 Adam All right.

19:58 Caller And that really bothers me. I've tried Prozac. I'm on Paxil. That's not working. I've tried Selexa and Zoloft.

20:06 Adam What happened to you growing up?

20:11 Caller What I remember, my parents fought when I was three years old.

20:14 Drew Shocking that we would be recreating the exact scene that you went through.

20:17 Adam True.

20:19 Caller I don't want this to happen to my kids.

20:21 Adam All righty.

20:22 Drew It's already happened here though, right?

20:24 Caller Pardon me?

20:25 Drew It's already happened.

20:26 Caller Well, yeah, but I don't want it to happen again.

20:28 Adam Okay.

20:28 Drew But it's already happened.

20:29 Caller I can realize that there's a problem with it, and I don't want to cause any more emotional damage. All right.

20:34 Drew So you need to get some professional help with this, right?

20:37 Caller Yeah, I've tried, but it's just...

20:39 Drew So you want it to happen again?

20:41 Adam Well, she tried.

20:41 Drew Okay. Then you need professional help.

20:43 Caller Well, I know that, but I've tried counseling, and I've...

20:46 Drew Jackie? Jackie?

20:47 Caller Yes.

20:48 Drew What do you think is going to magically work here?

20:50 Caller Well, I've tried some medications, and they work for a while, but then they stop.

20:54 Drew Why won't you get some counseling then, and stay with it, and actually do some work?

20:58 Caller Because I have no health insurance right now, and I can't find anyone that has openings. I live in the boondocks, kind of.

21:04 Adam Can you not have any more kids, please?

21:06 Caller Oh, gosh, trust me, I'm not.

21:08 Adam Are you all right? What are you doing about that?

21:10 Caller I'm on the depot shot right now.

21:11 Good, good, good.

21:12 Drew Is that affecting your mood some, too?

21:15 Caller No, I don't think so. I was having problems before that. I just went on the shot in December.

21:20 Adam What about your husband? How is he to counsel?

21:23 Caller Borderline schizophrenic, but he refuses to get any help, and he says he doesn't have a problem.

21:29 Adam Couldn't you just get a catapult and launch the kids into the neighbor's yard or something, so they could have a good life? I mean, what are you guys doing here? I hate to kick someone when you're down, but why the kids? Why are you two having kids?

21:46 Caller Well, my second one, honestly, I wasn't ready, and I told him I wasn't ready.

21:50 Adam Okay, well, as long as you weren't ready.

21:53 Caller Well...

21:53 Adam All right, as long as you didn't want the kid, that's fine. Now we're on the same page.

21:58 Caller No, that's bad.

21:59 Adam Okay, so listen, you, you, unfortunately, I mean, here's the problem. You have a little bit of a disability, your husband has a little disability, and you want to raise these kids in an environment that was different than the environment that you grew up in.

22:15 Drew Yes.

22:16 Adam Yet, magically, it's turning into that environment. And you're gonna have to work very hard, maybe harder than a lot of people who don't have these troubles, to create that good environment for these kids.

22:29 Drew And that's gonna include your husband taking some medication.

22:32 Adam That's definitely gonna include your husband doing his work, and it's gonna include you being creative about finding some help and some counseling, and doing things that involve some driving, or taking measures and steps that may be more difficult for you than you would like, in order to escape this tragedy for your kids. Because the deal is, Jackie, you've got this little window with your kids, and then after that, it'll never be undone. Do you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm talking about. You grew up in one of those crappy families.

23:06 Caller Yeah, we've discussed separating, and we're all for that. Right now, we don't have the money. He just lost his job.

23:14 Drew We didn't mention separating, did we?

23:15 Caller Well, no, you didn't, but until we work it out, I think that's what's best for the kids. But my other question is, Dr. Drew, do you have any opinions on any kind of medication that I can go to my doctor with? Because he is clueless on it, and I've seen a couple of different doctors.

23:31 Adam Well, if your husband is schizophrenic, he needs to get on some meds.

23:35 Drew Yeah, the more he needs to be in meds, you've not been tried on serozona effectsor yet, and it sounds like you need something to deal with your agitation, like Seroquel or Zyprexa.

23:44 Caller OK.

23:44 Drew So these are things that, you know, maybe adding Seroquel to your pack. There's other things that can be done here.

23:50 Adam But talk to your doctor about your husband, too. Does he have a doctor?

23:54 Caller He refuses to go and see one.

23:57 Adam And doesn't it seem like a kind of dangerous guy to be hanging out at the home?

24:02 Caller Well, I got into it, and he was, you know, he's 15 years older than I am. So there was this big, long courting that lasted three months. And I totally fell in love with him, and then three years into it, the day we get married, he just freaks out. It was horrible.

24:19 Adam Okay, but anyway, this guy's the father of your kids, right?

24:23 Caller Yeah.

24:24 Adam Okay. So was your dad around when you grew up?

24:29 Caller No, my mom wouldn't let him.

24:32 Drew Because he was a borderline schizophrenic?

24:34 Caller No, not my dad. My dad told me a couple of years ago, we started talking when I was 14, just before my 15th birthday. I contacted him on my own choice, and my mom hated it, and she was really mean to me for like two years. My dad quit seeing me when I was a kid, because I told him one day that my mom was mean to me when I saw him, so he stayed out of my life to prevent any further pain to me. Because when my mom attacked my dad, it didn't work. When she attacked me, he backed off.

25:04 Adam I think you're letting him off just a little bit too easy there, Jackie.

25:08 Caller Well, no, I know more things that have happened.

25:10 Drew No kidding.

25:10 Adam All right, Jackie.

25:11 Caller We've made our amends.

25:12 Adam Listen, is anyone sane in your family that these kids could be dropped off at?

25:18 Caller No, my sister, but she didn't take them.

25:21 Adam Okay.

25:21 Drew She has 12 kids.

25:22 Caller My family is really screwed up.

25:24 Adam You couldn't just let a family of raccoons raise them or something?

25:28 Caller No.

25:28 Adam All right, look, you go to your doctor and throw yourself on the mercy of him and tell him about your husband and his schizophrenia and his refusal to get help and how you think that's affecting the kids.

25:39 Drew You should not be being cared for by a primary care person. You need a mental health professional, psychiatrist or any other.

25:46 Adam Okay.

25:46 Drew Sarah Quill, as I practice, I think I remember those medicines.

25:49 Adam Right. And if anybody who's listening doesn't think Jackie and her crazy husband's kids or any of our business as a society, they're just hugely wrong. That is the future. That's the trouble, everybody. That's what you're running into. Just close your eyes and picture Drew's three kids and then the screwballs that are running around Jackie's house. Who are we building the prisons for? Who do we get the parole officers for? Who's the unemployment for? Who's it all for? Where's the crime coming from? Where is it? Where's it coming from? I hate to beat the crap out of Jackie, but as a society, this is where we need to focus. Where else do we have to look? I can tell you where it is. We got to worry about Drew's kids? No. They'll be nuts, possibly gay, but we don't have to worry about them. They will not cost us a penny. They will not cost us a penny. Where's Jackie's kids? Millions of dollars by the time they're bar mitzvahed. You think they're Jewish, Drew? What do you want to think?

26:55 Drew No.

26:56 Adam No? Okay. I got that gut feeling.

26:58 Drew I'm the Korean.

26:59 Adam Okay. Jackie, take care of yourself, take care of your kids, don't have any more, and get help for that husband. Hey, Loveline, everybody. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-191. Remy Zero in here tomorrow night, Drew?

27:50 Drew It looks like it.

27:51 Adam All righty.

27:52 Drew Then Puddle of Mud.

27:54 Adam And then some band called No Guest. Let's see who they are.

27:59 Drew So it's been off of No Doubt.

28:01 Adam Brittany?

28:02 Yeah.

28:03 Adam You're 16. What's up?

28:08 Caller I have a really high time sleeping if I don't have an orgasm before I go to sleep. I'm sorry?

28:16 Adam Do you give yourself an orgasm before you go to bed?

28:19 Caller Yeah, sometimes.

28:20 Drew Wait, wait, wait. Sometimes?

28:23 Caller I work out here and I wake him up.

28:26 Adam You do it but you wake him up?

28:30 Caller I'm sorry.

28:31 Adam You know, I'm going to start giving advice the way we get the questions. Brittany?

28:35 Caller Yes?

28:36 Adam Let me tell you the answers to all your questions. It's the cure to all your troubles is. What I'm going to need you to do is... And I'll just take it out.

28:46 Caller Okay? Okay? I have to go and be quiet.

28:49 Drew Who's nearby?

28:51 Caller My parents.

28:52 Drew Your parents?

28:52 Adam They're the next room?

28:53 Drew So you masturbate every night before you go to sleep?

28:56 Caller Pretty much.

28:57 Drew How long have you done it?

28:58 Like, for about, like, two years, probably.

29:02 Drew Two years? And why is this a problem for you?

29:05 Caller I don't know, like, I don't understand, because I just, like, I can't go to sleep. I don't, I just can't go to sleep.

29:10 Drew And if you do it, you go to sleep?

29:12 Yeah.

29:13 Adam Do you not get tired or are you just sort of obsessed with it?

29:17 Caller I guess I'm obsessed.

29:19 Drew You're thinking about it if you don't do it?

29:21 Yeah.

29:21 Adam And once you declare in your own feeble mind, and I know because I have a feeble mind, that you cannot do this without that, then you will not do it.

29:32 Caller Yeah. That's true.

29:33 Adam Okay. So fine.

29:36 Drew Although she may really need it. There are some people that do this.

29:38 Adam All right.

29:38 Drew It's no big deal.

29:38 Adam Well, that's your little ritual. Some people floss, you diddle.

29:42 Caller Because I started my thing with myself when I was like four.

29:45 Adam Oh, interesting. Okay. Are you okay? You're doing all right? Otherwise?

29:50 Caller I guess, yeah.

29:51 Adam You have friends?

29:53 Drew You weren't traumatized or anything growing up?

29:55 Caller My mom beat me.

29:56 Adam Well, did you have it coming?

29:59 Drew But that is some of the reason that young kids get into sexual arousal to try to sort of divert from some of that trauma experience.

30:06 Adam Does she beat you anymore?

30:08 Caller No. My dad pulled me out of the house. She put me in the emergency room. My dad found out about it, and so I moved back to California.

30:16 Adam What did she do to you that put you in the emergency room?

30:19 Caller She cut my skull. She fractured my skull. She slammed my head in the tile so many times that it fractured it.

30:25 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

30:27 Drew You had some treatment?

30:29 Caller Yeah. I was in counseling for a while, but I never said anything about my problems.

30:33 Drew Why don't you get back in counseling and really actually get something out of it? You only get out what you put in, and it requires abject honesty and a desire for change.

30:44 Adam Imagine how horrifying that is to have mama freaking on you physically that way, banging your head against the tile. Do you know what I mean? I mean, wouldn't you almost just be perpetually scrambled? When you walked down the street, what would you see?

31:05 Drew What would your expectation of the world be after that? Think about it.

31:09 Adam Yeah. It's one thing for daddy to do it, which is really bad. But I believe it's marginally worse to have mama do it. And it's worse to have mama do it to her daughter. So that's about as weird as it gets. Nicole?

31:22 Yeah.

31:22 Adam You're 18?

31:23 Caller Yeah.

31:24 Adam What's up?

31:25 Caller I have been going out with my boyfriend for two years. We just celebrated our anniversary yesterday.

31:29 Adam All righty.

31:30 Caller And for like the past year, we've been getting in like horrible fights. He has like a really bad temper. Just basically really verbally abusive. And recently, I've been having dreams at night about other guys.

31:44 Drew And you've already put in two years of this relationship. And you, you'd of course need to put in a few more.

31:50 Caller Right.

31:50 Adam Yeah. Give it another six years and then get out.

31:54 Caller Yeah. Well, that's, I'm young. You know what I mean? I'm young and I just, I've been with him since I'm six. I've been 16.

31:59 Drew How old is he?

32:00 Caller He's 20.

32:01 Drew Yeah. And, well, this, hopefully, unless you sort of seek out these sorts of traumatic abusive guys, Yeah. this kind of relationship would last about three weeks.

32:12 Adam That's a little long.

32:13 Drew Yeah.

32:14 Adam Ten days.

32:15 Drew That's ten days when you're older. Yeah. You don't know how to end a relationship now. You think there can be no one else in your life. You idealize this guy. You love him.

32:23 Adam Well, there's, there's this weird thing. It's like, you know, we get it all time and maybe you have these, these feelings, Nicole, which is, I've put in two years. I can't throw those two years away.

32:34 Drew So I'll throw six more away.

32:37 Adam But it's like, it's like saying, I was in prison for five years. I can't just leave and throw it away.

32:41 Drew Got to put in another five.

32:43 Caller Right. Yeah, so I just, I mean, I really honestly feel like this, I really want to marry him.

32:48 Drew Here it goes.

32:49 Adam Ooh, you want to marry him?

32:51 Drew Yeah, Nicole, forget that.

32:53 Adam Why?

32:53 Drew Forget that.

32:54 Adam Well, wait a minute. Why do you want to marry him?

32:55 Drew Where's my bourbon? Because she's going to force this up the tuchus.

33:00 Caller Yeah, I don't know. Sometimes I just feel like, what the heck am I doing? And then other times it's just like we're so much alike, but in other ways, we're so different.

33:09 Drew Nicole, this is all fantasy.

33:11 Adam Hold on. And remember, Drew, remember when you used to speak in those terms about we're so alike? Yeah.

33:16 Drew We're soulmates.

33:17 Adam We're soulmates.

33:18 Drew Except in most ways we're different.

33:19 Adam We have so much in common. Is that even a factor anymore? Does you being alike with someone even factor in to whether you're friends or lovers with them anymore?

33:28 Drew No.

33:29 Adam I mean, it's important that they speak English.

33:31 Drew Being like sort of a negative, really.

33:34 Adam Who the hell? Listen, I know what it's like being with someone who's like me. I beat off when I get off. That's called beating off. Some guy with a nasal condition and nappy hair and never stops talking about high school.

33:47 Drew His mom and porno. Oh my God.

33:50 Adam We're so alike. He loves those. She loves model airplanes. She loves telling high school football stories and complaining about everyone else.

34:03 Dude, you beat off?

34:04 Adam She's got a hairy ass. Her balls smell.

34:09 Drew We're so much alike. Nicole is so rigidly preoccupied with this guy you can't talk her out of it. She can't get out of it. She can't see her way out of it.

34:18 Adam Nicole, don't you have any friends that have tried to talk you out of this guy?

34:24 Caller I really honestly have. And it's just been recently, like this weekend, we just got in a horrible fight.

34:30 Drew Wait a minute, stop.

34:31 Adam Do you have friends that have tried to talk you out of this guy?

34:34 Drew Yes. For the last year?

34:36 Caller Yes.

34:37 Drew Okay. The world is telling you something. They're seeing this reality and you are not.

34:45 Okay.

34:45 Caller I think maybe he'll change.

34:47 Drew Nicole, it will never happen. Really? Well, if you spent a year... Is he drink too? Is he drink?

34:53 Caller No.

34:53 Drew Or do pot? Is it drugs or anything?

34:54 Caller No, it's nothing like that.

34:56 Adam Worse.

34:57 Drew Yeah, it's worse.

34:57 Adam It's worse. There's nothing not to do.

34:59 Drew That's treatable.

35:00 Adam Yeah, it's like a guy who walks with a limp and it's like, well, maybe when his leg heals, it's like, nope, he's fine. I mean, there's nothing to correct. It's better if a guy could just get off the booze, get off the speed, get off the weed. This guy's clean, sober, and an a-hole. Listen to your friends.

35:20 Drew Yeah. They wouldn't tell you that. What's their motivation in telling you that unless it's something they're saying?

35:24 Adam You've been with the guy since you were 16.

35:26 Drew Those relationships are supposed to end. It's a problem when they don't.

35:30 Adam There you go. Seth?

35:32 Yeah.

35:33 Adam You're 18?

35:34 Caller Yeah.

35:34 Adam What's up?

35:35 Caller Hey, man. I got this problem, dude.

35:38 Adam Yeah?

35:39 Caller Okay. There's two chicks, right? One of them is being strung along by an ex-boyfriend.

35:46 Drew Wait. One of them is being strung along by an ex-boyfriend.

35:50 Caller Yeah. He's like using her for stuff, you know?

35:53 Adam Right.

35:53 Drew Yeah. This is him. She plays no role in this at all. He's completely exploiting her.

35:59 Adam Drew, shut up.

35:59 Caller All right.

36:00 Adam Go ahead.

36:01 Caller And her friend likes me and I really like the girl.

36:07 Drew Not the friend, but the one that's being strung along.

36:09 Caller Yeah. Right.

36:11 Drew And does the one that's being strung along know you're attracted to her?

36:14 Caller Yes, she does.

36:15 Drew And she doesn't seem to be wanting to do anything about that.

36:18 Caller It's just that her friend likes me.

36:20 Drew Oh, so that's the reason she's not going for it, is because of the friend?

36:24 Caller Yeah.

36:25 Drew No. No.

36:26 Adam She's not going for it because she don't like you.

36:28 Drew She's into this boyfriend.

36:30 Adam The guy's stringing her along.

36:31 Drew That's it. That's it, Seth.

36:38 Adam Seth, you'd be a good trial attorney.

36:40 Drew Okay.

36:42 Adam You'd be like, your honor, his client was found clutching the murder weapon with a full confession at the scene of the murder. Counsel, do you have anything to say to your client's defense? You are found guilty as charged. Seth? Yeah. I know this is a good story. God knows I've told a thousand of these myself and probably believed at least 500 of them. But if she was really into you, she'd be with you. She wouldn't care about her friend.

37:15 Drew You're available. She knows the ex-boyfriend is stringing her along.

37:19 Adam Why wouldn't she be with you?

37:20 Drew She'd come right over. That's true.

37:23 Adam Okay. I mean, you could tell her, look, I know your friend likes me, but I don't like her. I like you. If she really liked you.

37:30 Drew She'd be on. That's it.

37:32 Adam Here's all you got to do, everybody. Close your eyes and picture what you would do if you like the person, if the person liked you as much as you like them. Do you know what I mean? Put yourself into that position. Everybody do that. You know when you're really into somebody, Drew, and you remember those days at least, Drew, that's long before he got tied to the whooping pose.

37:58 Drew Oh, stop.

37:59 Adam Tied to the whooping pose. Oh, Lord, I feel like I'm dying.

38:09 Drew You think I'm somehow like your friend, Jimmy.

38:12 Adam Jimmy? Jimmy is not tied to the whooping pose.

38:16 Drew Yes, he is.

38:17 Adam How dare you? Jimmy is the, he's the master of his relationship. You're kidding me.

38:23 Drew He's not happy. Or she's not happy.

38:25 Adam No, I didn't say anyone was happy, but the point is, no one takes any crap. Yeah, you're happy like a dog when it's put in its crate. Please, a couple of rawhide bones in there. You don't know any better. That's why you're happy. You're happy like a native with a yo-yo.

38:39 Drew Stop. I'm happy because I'm happy.

38:43 Adam It doesn't know. It doesn't know. Okay, but listen, where was I? Remember when you were really into people back when? If they were half that into you, they'd be with you.

38:54 Caller Yeah.

38:55 Adam Yeah, so how can they be really into you but not be with you? And it's because they have...

39:01 Drew It's because you're too nice.

39:02 Caller Right.

39:03 Drew Or you're too good. You deserve someone better. What a load of crap that is.

39:07 Adam Thank you. Mike?

39:08 Caller Hey, what's up, man?

39:09 Longtime listener, third time caller.

39:10 Adam Great, buddy.

39:11 Caller Hey, how's it going?

39:12 Adam Good.

39:13 Caller I have this, I just got my tongue pierced like three days ago, three and a half days ago. And there's like a buildup on top and it's kind of white.

39:20 It's starting to turn a little yellow.

39:22 Caller And one paper I got said that it could be infected like that.

39:26 Caller Is it swelling?

39:28 No, it's starting to go down now.

39:29 Drew Does it hurt?

39:30 Caller It's still sore.

39:32 Drew Are you using the mouth washes?

39:33 Caller Yeah, I got a glyoxide or something.

39:35 Drew Yeah. Are you doing it the way you're supposed to do it?

39:37 Caller I just got that today, yeah.

39:39 Drew Well, some of that debris, that buildup can be healing. That doesn't have to be infection, but that is such a serious problem if it develops. It can occlude your airway. It can be a life-threatening infection rapidly. So why not have somebody look at it, decide whether or not they think it is infected? Being on some antibiotics, couldn't hurt.

39:58 Adam I saw a news story over the weekend where somebody got a tongue piercing, and apparently some clot or something went up to their brain. And did some, it didn't kill the person, but they had quite a brush. And it was late, I was drunk, and I barely remember it, but I do remember thinking, this is something the kiddies should know about.

40:21 Drew I was bored, so I had my tongue pierced. I was bored, so I put a spear through my penis. Stuff's gotta be happening with those piercings, it's gotta be. Now, if we take a drug like Resilin, which is a great drug, kinda hurt three people, helped several million, up, take it off the market immediately.

40:39 Adam What's that Resilin for?

40:40 Drew For Diabetes. But the point is, and it was a huge scandal, how dare this drug company put something up so dangerous. Yet, people are getting this crap pressed through their body all the time. Nothing can happen other than something disastrous. Nothing good can happen from it. Nobody says anything.

40:55 Adam Well, nobody knows. We'll take a little break. We'll be back with Amanda's 14. Wants to know if her 20 or what.

41:02 Drew No.

41:04 Adam Oh, lightning around tonight. 29, putting an 8-pound weight around this penis. Wants to know if that's going to increase the size after this.

41:16 Call 1-800-LOVE-191. Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back.

41:54 Adam Hey, everybody. Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew.

41:58 Drew That's why we love radio. No attorneys.

42:00 Adam Yeah. I was just telling Drew how much I hate attorneys. I've talked to many attorneys in my life, and never an answer. Never always got to get back to you on it. Got to check it out. Let me check that out. Let me get back to you. Didn't I get back to you? No. Then you outsmart them, and they hate it. Here's the thing I think everyone hates about attorneys. They're inherently arrogant. They think they're smarter than you are, except for the part where they're not that smart. They just have a lot of training, but they're not intelligent people, because I just don't think intelligent people go into that branch. Oh, okay. Don't get me going. Anyway, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Drew over there, the guy banging the mug down on the console. Just going to get that mouse pad to put it on there. You know I hate doctors. There you go. All right, let's talk to Lance, who is 29. Lance?

42:54 Caller Yep?

42:55 What's up?

42:56 Adam Oh, you're 29?

42:57 Caller Yeah, 29.

42:58 Adam Well, you sound younger.

43:00 Caller Well, thank you very much.

43:01 Adam All righty.

43:01 Drew What's going on?

43:02 Caller I got a question. I was listening to the radio the other day, and I heard them talk about some type of penis enlarger that's like a weight that basically hangs from your penis and straps on your leg.

43:17 Adam Right.

43:18 Caller And I guess the medical proof behind it or something is they were talking to like these people in Africa, you know, like, with big lips.

43:28 Drew They put the plates in their lips.

43:30 Caller Yeah. And then they have that growing or whatever, the cell stimulation or whatever.

43:34 Adam Right.

43:35 Caller And it sounded sound. But, you know, I thought I'd ask the expert and see what Dr. Drew had to say about it.

43:40 Adam Well, I think you can make your penis larger when it's flaccid. If you constantly hang weights off it. Just like you could get your earlobes out so that they could fit when your arms threw them.

43:55 Caller And I'm thinking why waste money? You know, I got an eight pound bowling ball, you know, in my closet. So I could just, you know, basically strap that bastard on there. Yeah.

44:03 Drew Well, if they tear your penis right off.

44:05 Caller Oh.

44:05 Adam Hold on. Your bowling ball weighs more than eight pounds, doesn't it?

44:09 Caller Well, you could get like a little cheap eight pound ball, you know, steal one from an alley.

44:13 Adam No. I don't think you could do that. But anyway, listen, it make your penis bigger when it's flaccid, and when it's dangling, and probably just after you took the weight off. But when it gets erect, it ain't going to be bigger.

44:27 Drew But you have a nice little elephant's trunk hanging off the tip.

44:30 Adam Yeah.

44:31 Drew A little bunch of stretched out tissue, that'd be good.

44:34 Adam By the way, what woman is impressed by this? Who's it for? You know what I mean?

44:39 Drew Yeah.

44:40 Adam What woman spots this before you pick her up?

44:47 Drew There is something going on. I mean, every time, I was driving up Robertson, saying this big billboards, get Viagra, get Penis Line. I thought, what is going on in this world that men are so preoccupied with this? Now, are we so lonely, so desperate as our expectation of what we're able to do as men, so out of line with reality? What's going on here?

45:09 Adam Well, it seems cyclical to me. Here's what I'm saying. It dies off because what happens is, is it comes on and it gets kind of debunked. It's like freeway shootings. It gets hot for a little while. Remember, it was about five, six years ago. It's a lot of fat injections in the penis.

45:26 Drew Right, that's true.

45:27 Adam Doctor penis. It always gets started in Florida. The Florida is really the cradle of all evil, all terrorist activity, everything bad, everything evil, every disease, everything. It all begins in Florida.

45:40 Drew Got it.

45:40 Adam The doctor is in Florida. The guy is always in Florida. Whenever you're trying to order something dicey from a magazine or something, or you want to get some bad snuff film, or some bondage ding, or some chick who's humping a German shepherd, the address is always in Florida. I don't know what someone famous as a father gets shot, or some tragedy happened. Florida. I don't know what goes on over there, but apparently it leads the nation in all things that are evil and dicey. But some doctor in Florida comes out with something where he's injecting fat and everything like that. All the news agencies pick up on it, becomes all the fodder for the morning radio shows. That stays hot for about 18 months, and then it gets debunked. There's lawsuits, the guy gets shut down, it doesn't work out, and it goes away. Then the dust settles, and three years later, it crops up again. I think we're kind of in the middle of the crop up again. It'll fade down another year, and then we won't hear anything for another three to five years, and then it'll be back again. It'll start in Florida.

46:38 Caller We'll be right back.

46:39 Adam Ooh. Paul?

46:42 Caller Hello.

46:42 Adam Hey, Paul.

46:43 Caller Hey. So, here's the deal. I have a friend who's also 26, and he's now married. And about a year ago, he confessed when he was drinking with another friend of ours, and he confessed that he had been molested by one of his uncles. Now, he just said it in the spur of the moment, and my friend never said anything about it, and the friend who said it never...

47:12 Drew We gotta go to break here. What's the question?

47:14 Caller Okay. The question is, he doesn't show any signs of anything wrong with him.

47:19 Drew What's the question?

47:20 Caller Okay. Should I approach him in a way that sort of he can get any help, or should I just leave it at be if he's not showing any signs of anything wrong with him?

47:28 Drew I think you can assume that it has had some consequence. I think as a friend you should bring it up, that you're aware of it, and encourage him to look into it if he has any question about it affecting him, and that's that. Otherwise, it's not in your business.

47:41 Adam Well, that's his friend, and he cares about him. Okay, when we come back, we'll speak to Matt, who's 19, thinks his best friend is gay, who was molested. Everyone's molested, and wants to know...

47:53 Drew The friend hates... He overreacts to gays, eh?

47:56 Adam Oh, the guy thinks he's gay, protests too much.

47:58 Drew Right.

47:59 Adam Okay, after this. Hey, Loveline, y'all. I'm Adam. That's Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. You know, I'm a little sick, Drew, but I think I can muster the strength for a lightning round tonight.

49:13 Drew No, it really would be okay if you just coasted. When you make one of those sounds you just made about a minute or two ago, just for a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. It's nice. Every commercial break, we break with that. You think my goddamn headsets clicking on the countertop here is annoying. What do you think it's like to have somebody go to every commercial vomiting?

49:35 Adam No, I'm sick, Drew. What do you want me to do? You wouldn't even be here. Thanks, baby.

49:40 Caller Thank you.

49:42 Adam You're welcome. All right. All right. You ready to rock here, Drew?

49:45 Caller Let's go.

49:46 Adam Let's talk to Matt. Matt?

49:49 Caller Hey, what's going on, guys?

49:52 Drew What's going on?

49:53 Caller How are you guys doing?

49:53 Drew We're fine. You're calling us. What's up?

49:57 Caller Listen, I've had this friend for about eight years, nine years. Best friend. He's my right hand kind of guy. Recently, some things have been going down with our friendship between me and him. He accused me of being gay the other night. Think about him, a little bit of history about him. He was molested as a kid. Pretty bad. He never told me about it. He never talked to me about it. It's probably the only thing that we've ever really kept from each other.

50:21 Drew How did you find out about it?

50:22 Caller You know what? Another kid that came in with our... We have a pretty close friendship. And another kid that came in, he was molested too. And the way that they bonded, without him really knowing each other, was unreal. The way that they would talk, and the other kid, he would just... They would finish sentences for each other.

50:43 Drew How do you know the other kid was molested?

50:45 Caller Because then they just started talking, and then they went off, and then they started talking about it, and I just kind of overheard the conversation. Now he admits it. Now he talks about it. They both do. And I remember them both saying, I remember that night like it was yesterday.

50:57 Drew I thought you said he kept it from you.

51:00 Caller Yeah, he did actually. And one time I remember...

51:02 Adam Except for the part where he tells you, where he told you about it?

51:05 Caller Well, he told me about it after those two talked.

51:07 Adam Not before he was molested?

51:09 Caller Yes.

51:10 Adam I see.

51:11 Caller One time we were... It was a long night. We were talking, and he... Something brought up. He's like, have you ever had a dream of homosexuals? And I didn't have the clue that he was molested. And I started laughing, and I'm like, no, man. I was young too. I was really young at the time. I was like, no, man. I'm like, that's wrong. I mean, like, no, I've never had that kind of a dream.

51:31 Adam Hey, man.

51:32 Caller Yes.

51:33 Adam So what are we getting to here? You got a screwed up friend who doesn't share everything with you, although eventually, eventually he does.

51:41 Caller He can keep that away from me and stuff like that. All right.

51:44 Adam But he accused you of being gay.

51:47 Caller Yeah.

51:47 Adam All right. And you told him you weren't or were.

51:50 Caller I told him straight up. I'm like, no, I'm not gay.

51:52 Adam All right. So, there you go.

51:54 Caller The basis of him calling me gay were pretty three things that kind of got to me that kind of brought me a question to him and about his sexuality. Number one, I went on a date with about four to five people. I had a date. I had a girl with me. My girl. There was another couple. And there happened to be an acquaintance of a gay guy there on the date. He said since I knew about that, since I knew that there was a gay guy there, I never should have went. This was like six months ago. He said I never should have went.

52:22 Adam Hey, man. Yeah. What do you do for a living?

52:27 Caller Right. I'm doing the army.

52:28 Adam You're doing the army.

52:29 Caller Right now. I have a pretty good job. I'm just doing customer service.

52:32 Adam When are you joining that army?

52:33 Caller I leave the 13th of January.

52:35 Adam Okay. You got about three more weeks before you never see this guy again. Let's just hang out, lay low, and then go off to Michigan or...

52:44 Drew Was he sexually abused by a male?

52:46 Caller Yes, he was.

52:46 Drew All right. So he has some strong feelings about...

52:48 Adam He's got some stuff.

52:49 Drew About people who are gay, and he himself may have some sexual identity issues because of this trauma.

52:54 Caller But why would he put it on another person, one of his best friends, his best friend?

52:58 Adam Look, that's what people do.

53:00 Drew He had bad trauma. His wires are crossed.

53:01 Adam It's called projection.

53:03 Drew Yeah.

53:03 Adam But Matt, Matt. Yes? You're going to go far away and kill people, all right? All right? And you're not going to have to deal with him anymore.

53:13 Drew One of the things people do is that...

53:14 Adam They don't want to worry about it...

53:15 Drew .feelings that are particularly... Certain kinds of personalities, feelings that are particularly shame-evoking, things that are very, very... Icky, let's say, to them. They put it on to another person as a way of containing that feeling and getting it outside of themselves. So this may be something he's actually feeling and he's putting it on you.

53:31 Adam Right. But don't worry. He just... He doesn't seem like the... I mean, maybe you guys shouldn't spend as much time together is what I'm saying. And remember, if you're gay, you know, when you go in the army, don't don't tell.

53:44 Get on your knees, scumbag.

53:46 Adam There's another movie Drew never saw. Scotty. Yeah. What's up?

53:51 I just wanted to ask why all therapists tell you to always go to therapists.

53:57 Adam What therapist?

53:59 I was just curious to ask Drew that.

54:00 Adam What do you mean all therapists?

54:01 Drew I'm not a therapist.

54:03 Well, I mean, all these people call and they have problems. And my parents were divorced. I left home at 16, but I'm 36. Got a good job. Led a good life. And everything's fine now.

54:13 Drew That's good. So what's the problem?

54:15 I just wondered why therapists always tell you to go to therapy.

54:17 Adam Well, what therapists are you talking about?

54:20 All these radio shows and Sally and the Penis Enlargement. It's all just all this media. It just drives me crazy. Yeah.

54:27 Adam Well, listen, here's the reason. A, a lot of people need it, especially the people that call into the shows, because obviously they're better candidates for therapy because they're calling with some problems. But B, it's one of these things. It's like take a multivitamin. They know it ain't going to hurt them. You know what I'm saying?

54:46 Caller Yeah.

54:47 Adam You don't have to worry about the show.

54:48 Caller The show is awesome.

54:49 Adam You don't have to worry about somebody dying from going to therapy because they went to therapy.

54:54 Caller If the therapy almost makes that person just freeze for years and just-

54:59 Drew No, no.

55:00 Caller And some of the therapists, if the therapists suck, then they can't go to the show too.

55:03 Adam No. What do you mean, therapy makes the person freeze for years?

55:08 Caller Well, they dwell on one thing. Tell me about your mother and that kind of stuff.

55:14 Mom, I'm so mad at you.

55:16 Adam Scott, how did you get so stupid?

55:19 Caller No, no, I'm not stupid.

55:20 Adam Therapist doesn't do anything.

55:22 Caller I just mean, like a lot of these kids, if they just got out of these bad situations and just got a job and led a good life, everything will work itself out.

55:29 Adam That would be good, except for they can't get out of the bad situation, they can't lead a good life.

55:33 Drew They repeat the cycles of the problem and that's what we're talking about here.

55:36 Caller Well, that was just one of the things and like the man show was a good thing.

55:39 Adam Thank you. Listen, I'm with you on this. I wish people could get themselves out of the situation they're in as well.

55:46 Drew That's what I tell my patients, they're addicts. I said, hey, if all you need to do is be convinced you need to stop using drugs, go ahead. But being an addict means the very definition means you can't stop even when you want to more than anything else in the world. That's addiction. Then you need help.

56:04 Adam Yeah.

56:05 Caller There's also millions of Americans that smoke weed on weekends and they're construction workers and they're just regular guys, regular women.

56:12 Drew That's right. They're not addicts.

56:14 Caller Okay, cool.

56:15 Adam Okay, Scotty, enjoy that weekend weed. All right. Have fun with that hammer. Okay, dude. All right. Take care. Take care. Listen, everybody, and I don't know why everyone feels like it's incumbent upon them to defend everyone on the planet. You know, you say to yourself, you make these statements that a higher percentage of these people are at risk for this or a higher percentage of those people or these folks would get something out of therapy, and then everyone has to call up and point out the one example where you're wrong. Okay let's say, let's just say that you're not talking about out of a hundred people, let's say you're only talking about 85 of them. Isn't that enough? Do you know what I mean? You know one guy who didn't, you know the 100th guy who didn't actually go through that or didn't actually need that help. That's fine, but we're telling the other 99, how important is it for you to let us know about the one guy? It seems like something that everyone has in them and I don't understand that.

57:21 Drew Well, this is Don't Bother Me With My Ass. This is I want to keep smoking cigarettes and the reason being my grandma Moses had a friend.

57:29 Adam I think it means weed, by the way.

57:30 Drew No, no. Cigarettes. My grandma Moses had a girlfriend who smoked cigarettes when she was eight years old. Right. Therefore, because you know what? Everyone knows that person. I have a patient. Sure. Listen, I have a patient who is 93. She has been smoking two packs a day since she was eight. Her mother, listen to this. She could not smoke two packs. No, listen.

57:49 Adam Hold on. Drew, would you shut up?

57:51 Drew Listen to me.

57:52 Adam Two packs since eight.

57:53 Drew Her mother gave her a large dose of nicotine because they were starving to curb her appetite. And the mother would make the children that she lived in somewhere, I think in El Salvador, if I remember right, and she made them smoke at least one to two packs a day.

58:08 Adam Oh, now it's down to one.

58:10 Drew She is the, according to this patient, she's been smoking two a day since she was eight. And at her mother's suggestion, and it worked to curb their appetite when they were starving in poverty.

58:19 Adam All right, that's good. But I know it's not two packs a day.

58:22 Drew But the point is that I know that person too. Now should I go to my other patient and say, you know what, I know this 94-year-old has been smoking since she was eight, let's all go ahead and smoke cigarettes now.

58:32 Adam Right. Very, very good example. Sure. Everyone knows that person does nothing but drink scotch, eats red meat and smokes unfiltered cigarettes and is 95 years old. But does that mean it's good for you?

58:45 Drew The other 99 million of them that would have been 95 are all dead.

58:50 Adam That's right.

58:51 Drew That's why you don't know the dead ones because they're dead.

58:53 Adam So here's my point and I think Drew's point. Let's not focus on the one person that lived. And as a matter of fact, you're endangering the other people who should be quitting when you focus on that one person.

59:04 Drew Maybe we get rid of the people that are still alive because they're a menace to people that they might believe.

59:09 Adam Is that a bad example?

59:09 Drew Is that a bad example for the rest of the world?

59:11 Adam Yes. All right. Ben Laden first and then that Salvadorian bitch has been spoken to packs and she was eight. Shane, two packs at eight. Shane, you're 18.

59:21 Drew She was starving, right? One pack ain't going to do it.

59:27 Adam No.

59:28 Drew You have starvation?

59:29 Adam Poor people. Listen, screwball.

59:31 Drew You can't afford two packs.

59:32 Adam If you got enough for two packs of cigarettes a day, you can buy half a loaf of bread for Christ's sake.

59:35 Drew I don't know how they got that.

59:36 Adam Yeah. Go work that math out with that crazy El Salvadorian. Well, seriously. I mean, I'll ask that. Well, look at it this way. Cigarettes ain't free.

59:45 Drew Unless they worked in a cigarette rolling pack.

59:47 Adam But a pack of cigarettes is always cheaper than a loaf of bread. I mean more, I should say, than a loaf of bread.

59:54 Drew Well, certainly now.

59:55 Adam I would even say historically. I would say when a pack of smokes was 50 cents, a loaf of bread was 25 cents. That's what I would say. I'd like to look into that. So she could have bought some beans with that money. Crazy Drew. Shane?

1:00:12 Caller It's Shana.

1:00:13 Adam All right. What's up?

1:00:16 Caller Okay. I have a question. I have a fiance, okay? He's 21. He has cerebral palsy, and his mom is totally possessive of him because that's her baby, in a way, and I'm kind of afraid of her.

1:00:34 Adam Well, how bad is his cerebral palsy?

1:00:39 Caller Well, not too bad. I can understand him when he talks and stuff, and he has a walker. He's not in a wheelchair yet. But, yeah, yeah, but that doesn't matter to me. But it's just that his mom is like so possessive, and she gets, she like turns evil on me every time I try to like talk to him and stuff.

1:01:00 Adam Well, when you just, she gets evil when you speak to him?

1:01:03 Caller Yeah, I mean, she gets like.

1:01:04 Drew What does she think you're up to?

1:01:05 Caller Huh?

1:01:06 Drew What does she think you're up to?

1:01:07 Caller I don't know, like, he tells her that like he wants to like marry me and all this stuff, and that he's going to do it, and that he's going to leave the house, and she's like, well, no, you're not, you're not leaving me, and I'm like, out, what am I going to do? Because I'm like stuck, he's stuck.

1:01:22 Adam What's wrong? What's up with you? Why does she hate you so much?

1:01:26 Drew Why would she have a problem with someone like that?

1:01:27 Caller I don't know.

1:01:28 Adam You got any problems? You got any kids or anything?

1:01:30 Caller No, I'm still a virgin, I'm 18.

1:01:32 Adam You no good hooligan. No prison record or anything?

1:01:36 Caller No, no, no, no, no, no. Actually, I'm a certified nurse's assistant.

1:01:43 Adam Everything's good with her? You've never had any big run ins with her or anything?

1:01:46 Caller Not really. I think it's the fact that she's taking care of him his whole life and everything.

1:01:53 Adam All right.

1:01:55 Caller I'm afraid of her. I'm even afraid to talk to her. I've tried talking to her and she's like-

1:01:59 Drew Because she's so unpleasant?

1:02:01 Caller Yeah, she's so unpleasant.

1:02:02 Adam Can he talk to her?

1:02:03 Caller He's tried, but every time he tells her mom this is what's going to happen, she just laughs at him.

1:02:09 Drew How do you spend time together?

1:02:11 Caller You know, we just like, we hang out.

1:02:13 Drew But where? At his house?

1:02:16 Caller No, no, no, no. Not at mine either. We go out.

1:02:19 Adam Do you have your own place?

1:02:21 Caller Yeah, I do.

1:02:22 Adam Wow, you're pretty independent for 18.

1:02:24 Caller Yeah.

1:02:25 Drew Why?

1:02:27 Caller Huh?

1:02:27 Drew How long have you been independent?

1:02:29 Caller Since I was like 16 pretty much.

1:02:31 Drew What happened?

1:02:31 Caller Alcoholic death.

1:02:33 Caller Yes. I have an alcoholic dad, but he's never been in my life, thank God.

1:02:37 Adam Yeah. You know how we know all people who get into nursing have an alcoholic dad. It just is. Nurses come from chaos. Okay. There's something, well, listen, no, God bless you. You're 18. You got your ass together and you're doing what you should be doing. You're not doing porn films. Are you? You're not doing porn films, are you?

1:02:59 Caller No.

1:03:00 Adam No. Okay. Now, how did you meet this guy? He was a patient?

1:03:05 Caller No, no, no.

1:03:05 Caller He wasn't a patient or anything. He was through a friend of mine because that's her cousin.

1:03:10 Adam Uh-huh.

1:03:11 Caller And she just like, she's like, yeah, she's all, you know, you should meet him and blah, blah, and you know, she didn't tell me about his condition and he was afraid to even, you know, meet me or anything because he thought that I totally like, oh, ew, you know, I don't want you or nothing. But it wasn't like that.

1:03:25 Adam No, it's actually a plus.

1:03:27 Caller Yeah.

1:03:28 Adam I mean, someone else to take care of.

1:03:30 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:03:31 Adam It's interesting. I mean, isn't it interesting how attraction works? It's like most 18 year old girls would be thinking, nah, who wants to deal with this cerebral palsy? But Shane, and I'm not blaming you for this, but it's interesting when you think about how attraction works. This is what attracted you to nursing. And this attracts you to him too. And it's like there's some work to do here. There's going to be work taking care of this guy, right?

1:03:59 Caller Right, right, I understand.

1:04:00 Adam Would you guys like to move out together?

1:04:03 Caller Yeah, I mean, I have my own place. You know, I've offered for him to move in and everything. But his mom's like, no, you're not going anywhere.

1:04:09 Adam All right, so she sees you as a threat. I think moms get this way. They get a retarded kid or a kid with some disability, and the kid becomes like a pet now. They can never leave. They just keep taking care of them.

1:04:23 Caller And I don't understand, like I've tried everything, being nice to her and all that stuff.

1:04:27 Adam Well, look, he is going to have to start asserting himself with her and working on her.

1:04:32 Drew He can.

1:04:33 Adam You understand? And he's going to have to start spending more time out and more time with you. And when she says, where have you been? Or why didn't you call? Or why didn't you come home? He has to say, you know what? I'm an adult. I'm a man. I found a woman. I'm in love with her. She's a good woman. And I wish you could love her like I do. And just start, start weaving that in. Most parents come around. They initially get a little weird at the beginning because they just hate everyone new. And anyone's going to take their baby away from them. But eventually, once they find out that they love their baby as much as they do, they start to back off. And then they end up liking you more than their kid. Which ends up becoming ironic. Then you guys sit around and talk smack about your own. I love that syndrome. The wife and the mom are sitting around talking smack about the son and the husband, who's the same guy. Oh, that pig. How did you live with him? I don't know. I'm glad you got him now. I couldn't take him. Drew, isn't that bizarre? You think that happens with you? Probably. Yeah. Michael?

1:05:41 Caller Yeah.

1:05:42 Adam You're 17?

1:05:43 Caller Yes, I am.

1:05:43 Adam What's up?

1:05:44 Caller All right. Well, the thing is, when I have sex, I get like this little cut on the bottom of my penis.

1:05:52 Drew Where?

1:05:53 Caller Like right where the head meets the...

1:05:56 Drew Are you uncircumcised? Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's one of the reasons people get circumcised. They can get a little tearing and rips there, and the skin can start to narrow.

1:06:05 Adam No, that's not what's happening.

1:06:07 Drew No, he's pulling back, and then it's tearing.

1:06:09 Adam He's pulling that skin around.

1:06:10 Drew But that's, you know, that's again, circumcision.

1:06:13 Adam You love that circumcision.

1:06:14 Drew No, I'm just saying that would take care of it. Yes, you do.

1:06:16 Adam Just admit it. Just admit you love.

1:06:18 Drew I wouldn't love that.

1:06:19 Adam You hate foreskins. You hate foreskins.

1:06:21 Drew I do. I admit it. I hate them.

1:06:23 Adam All right. Thank you.

1:06:24 Drew But they're a hassle. In fact, I'm thinking, I think I'm not going to clip my fingernails anymore, because I don't want anyone taking my nails away. I want the man taking my nails away from me.

1:06:37 Adam All right.

1:06:37 Drew You know what I'm saying? That's what that is. I can cut my hair, either.

1:06:41 Adam Well, Drew, I'd say that's a little different. Hey, Michael. Okay. So look, you got to get used to your dork. All right.

1:06:49 Caller But I mean, what I want to know is, is it going to be permanent or what?

1:06:53 Adam Are you having very vigorous sex? Oh, not really, no.

1:06:56 Drew Do you wear a condom?

1:06:58 Caller No.

1:06:59 Adam Okay. Why don't you take your foreskin when you get your erection, and sort of peel it back and leave it there.

1:07:05 Drew Stretch it out.

1:07:06 Adam Don't leave it over the head of your penis, because then when it's moving up and down, it won't tear. You just slide it back, like you're rolling the sleeves up on your sweater. All right? So, Drew, watch what I do with my sweater.

1:07:17 Drew No, no, no.

1:07:18 Adam That's my sweater. See, it takes the sleeve. Slide it like that. And then I really get into the fisting. All right, Michael.

1:07:26 Drew That's what you're into.

1:07:27 Adam Good times. Yeah, yeah. I like that fisting, Drew. That's my thing. Josh?

1:07:33 Caller Yeah.

1:07:33 Adam You're 18?

1:07:34 Caller Yeah.

1:07:34 Adam What's up?

1:07:35 Caller All right.

1:07:38 Drew Hey, a second, Josh. One second. Am I wrong? Just, I mean, this is extra skin. This is extra nail. This is extra hair. Why does that have to be qualitatively different than other things that come off your body that are excessive and are a hassle? Get in the way.

1:07:52 Adam Let me explain something here, Drew. Let me explain what you're reacting to.

1:07:56 Drew I'm not having an emotional reaction to it at all.

1:07:58 Adam Just quiet and listen to me, please. It's just like last night when we were talking serenity about why everyone hates PETA and why a lot of people hate the NRA and why a lot of people hate these so-called groups, these fringe groups that are always trying to do something. There's too much energy and they get crazy about nothing. I forgot about PETA wanting to not have the guy at the Indy 500 drink milk in the winter circle which has been like a hundred-year tradition because it's not fair to cows. And now everyone signs off on them. Serenity made the argument which is they have to do retarded things to keep themselves in the news and I said well that's how Manson got in the news and she got very offended by that and didn't understand the correlation but I thought it was pretty clear. Here's the point. The whole foreskin thing. Yeah it's fine with it and it's fine without it. And if you were going to break it into a scale kind of thing you might be 5149 in favor of circumcision. But the foreskin advocate guys got nutty and they started talking about restoration of foreskins and they started talking about suing the parents for cutting it off. And a nutty fringe group got really crazy about this stuff. Now please everyone listen to me. Everyone that has a major problem with nothing is insane. Do you understand? The guys that cry over feeling like half a man because their foreskin was removed 40 years ago and the people that freak out over what happens to cows and all these people that just get nutty over nothing, they're all wounded, deeply, deeply wounded people and this is their outlet. Drew, your reaction then is to react against all this backlash against the circumcision. But you're reacting to these guys who are overreacting.

1:09:55 Drew But mine is to sort of try to take it and flatten the landscape and just go why does it have to be different than other parts of your body where you remove things that are sort of in the way.

1:10:04 Adam Right.

1:10:05 Drew Why is it different?

1:10:05 Adam Because people have energy and they're crazy. Let me tell you, having a foreskin is fine and not having one is fine.

1:10:14 Drew Absolutely. Having long nails is fine and not having one is fine.

1:10:16 Adam It should be just a decision that's left up to the family and sometimes the dads want their junk like their kids or the kids like their son like their pecker and I respect that I understand it. To give it any more discussion than that is giving it too much discussion. Thank you. You're insane. Thank you. Amanda?

1:10:39 Caller Yeah.

1:10:40 Adam You're 14?

1:10:41 Caller Yeah.

1:10:42 Adam What's up, baby? Um, weren't we talking to somebody else? Oh, Josh?

1:10:47 Drew Oh, yeah. We're talking to Josh.

1:10:48 Adam Hang on a second, Amanda. I didn't like Josh. Josh, you sit on hold for a while. Think about your attitude. No, no. Think about my attitude. Go ahead, Amanda.

1:10:57 Caller Um, well, I'm 14 and there's this 21-year-old guy that says that he likes me. But, like, I don't know if he's, like, just playing with me or, like, he's just, like, you know, he means it.

1:11:10 Drew Let's, let's say he means it. Let's just, let's just hypothesize. He means it. What would happen then?

1:11:16 Caller Well, like, I met him at the bowling alley with, like, a couple of my friends.

1:11:19 Drew Hang on, hang on. This guy, a 21-year-old becomes your boyfriend?

1:11:22 Caller No, like, we're just, like, friends, but he tells me that he likes me. And, like...

1:11:27 Drew All right, so let's, let's say that that's true.

1:11:29 Adam Let her finish. You met her at the bowling alley.

1:11:33 Caller And, um, we, like, became friends with them. And, you know, we just, like, hung out with them and stuff. And then, like, my friend gets, like, this big old crush on him. And, like, he tried to kiss her. But, like, she never, like, kissed him or anything. Because, like, she just had a feeling that, like, he was just playing with her. And one time, like, I invited him over to one of my friends' house. Because, like, we were bored. And since, like, he was our friend, like, you know, I just invited him over. And, like, he was, like, laying on my shoulder. And he told me that he liked me. But I was, like, you know, whatever.

1:12:08 Drew How are we going to deal with this here?

1:12:09 Adam We got to gamble. Amanda?

1:12:12 Caller Yeah.

1:12:12 Adam Hang on. We got to do some gambling on you.

1:12:14 Caller Okay.

1:12:15 Caller All right. All right.

1:12:17 Adam Hang on there, Peaches.

1:12:19 Caller Hang on.

1:12:22 Adam I love these guys, by the way. It's always great, too. We met him, and he came over, and he tried to kiss one of my friends. And then he told me he liked me. And it's like, this old weird dude is in. I don't know if he likes me. He just wants to be friends.

1:12:38 Drew Yeah.

1:12:39 Caller Wow.

1:12:40 Adam I mean, really, it's like you're talking to somebody about some magic.

1:12:46 Drew Jack and the Beanstalk.

1:12:47 Adam Jack and the Beanstalk type story.

1:12:49 Drew But remember.

1:12:50 Adam That guy's a 21-year-old guy who hangs out at bowling alleys and tries to get a leg.

1:12:53 Drew But remember, they have not. She is looking at the world through 14-year-old eyes. So a 21-year-old experiences the world like a 14-year-old does. In her way of thinking, because she's never gone beyond that. That's just what a male is into when other 14-year-olds are into. Nice. As opposed to what you're into. GIO Yeah.

1:13:12 Adam Why don't you guys get mature like me?

1:13:14 Caller All right.

1:13:15 Adam We're going to take a break. Let the fart go around here and we'll come back and gamble on Amanda after this. Hey there, everybody.

1:14:00 Caller Loveline.

1:14:02 Adam We'll do a little gambling. When we left off, we're speaking to Amanda. Amanda's 14. And I know 14 is young, but she sounds younger. She has a situation where there's a 21-year-old guy she has some interest in. The guy has expressed some interest in her, but she's not sure whether he's actually interested or not. She met him at a bowling alley. It sounds sort of comical already. He parties a little with the girls. And Amanda, do you guys ever drink together?

1:14:39 Caller No.

1:14:40 Drew Smoke pot together?

1:14:41 Caller No.

1:14:41 Adam How old are your friends?

1:14:44 Caller They're 14.

1:14:44 Adam They're 14. And he kind of hangs with them a little?

1:14:47 Caller Yeah. Well, like, because he works there, and so we, like, kick back right there, and so...

1:14:52 Adam All right.

1:14:52 Drew I've got...

1:14:53 Adam You kick back, but he wanted to kiss one of your friends.

1:14:56 Caller Yeah, he did.

1:14:57 Adam And he told you that he liked you?

1:15:00 Caller Like, a few weeks after that, he told me that he liked me at my friend's house when my other friend was there.

1:15:06 Adam So he... See, I suggested that he goes out and sort of hangs with you guys, and you said, well, no, he works there, and we sort of kick it with him, but he was over at your friend's house.

1:15:18 Caller I invited him over one time because I was bored and...

1:15:22 Adam Okay, so he does go over to the house. Does he know how old you guys are?

1:15:27 Caller Yeah, he does.

1:15:28 Adam And what about the friend's parents? As a 21-year-old, aren't you scared assless to be walking into some house, holding a Brunswick and some rented shoes and running into Pops in the living room?

1:15:41 Caller My parents weren't home.

1:15:42 Drew Yeah, no one was home.

1:15:43 Adam I know, but I mean, picture you being 21 and like I'm partying with these 14-year-olds. I mean, they don't know what's going on, but what about Pops or older brothers hanging out?

1:15:53 Drew She's like a number guy who's hanging out with my high school friends and chicken, worked in a local car wash.

1:15:58 Adam Yeah.

1:15:59 Drew He was a guy that would bring people drugs, and he was a guy of people's house they'd hang out at. I was hanging out with 16-year-olds. The guy was like 30.

1:16:05 Adam Well, here's the whole deal. You have automatic cool when you're older. See, you can work at a bowling alley. You can make six bucks an hour. You can not be able to screw anyone your own age. And you can get zero respect from any of your peers or society. But you're automatically cool because you're older. And for guys...

1:16:28 Drew Well, especially a 30-year-old who acts like a 15-year-old. That's ultra cool.

1:16:32 Adam But look, everybody wants to be looked up to. Everyone wants to be respected. And if you can't earn it, why not go where you can automatically get it?

1:16:41 Drew Granted it. Anyway, I think I'll get a little read on her.

1:16:44 Adam The biggest loser in the world is still the coolest dude in the room when everyone is 14 and he's 21. Right?

1:16:53 Drew So, what about her?

1:16:54 Adam What about her? You go first.

1:16:57 Drew Something happened with a 19-year-old at 12. And total meltdown at 6.

1:17:02 Adam What do you mean total meltdown?

1:17:04 Drew Dad gone. Again, some older neighborhood guy, 20-year-old, got at her. Some weird way. Mom, not available.

1:17:14 Adam Sexual abuse at 12 and at 6?

1:17:17 Drew I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

1:17:19 Adam Sexual abuse at 6?

1:17:20 Drew Yeah. I don't know. But that's almost there. Same at 12.

1:17:26 Adam Why not?

1:17:28 Drew She's not sexualized enough.

1:17:29 Adam No, I'm not getting a real good read on this. I'm going to say, I want to say just sort of nothing sexual because she would have blown this guy a year ago.

1:17:39 Drew Abandonment, abandonment, abandonment. That's what I'm getting.

1:17:42 Adam Yeah. But I'm sort of even almost getting a workaholic dad who's just not around. But then she would be having sex with the guy if she was abandoned.

1:17:53 Drew She'd be angrier, see.

1:17:55 Adam Dad died? Dad split?

1:17:59 Drew Yeah, early.

1:18:00 Adam Why isn't she sexually into this guy? Why is she sort of stunted sexually? Maybe something sexual did happen to kind of put her on ice. Freak her out a little bit.

1:18:12 Drew See, I think somebody like touched her or something and that sort of shut her down. They make you have sex with her.

1:18:16 Adam Alright, I'm going to play one. I'm going to play something weird at six. Grandpa did something weird to freak her a little bit.

1:18:23 Drew Okay, and I'm going neighbor.

1:18:25 Adam And dad, oh grandpa, I ain't going to make any money with grandpa.

1:18:30 Drew Let's see, come on.

1:18:31 Adam Alright, alright.

1:18:31 Drew I'll hit the bull story.

1:18:32 Adam No, I'm going to, yeah sure, you want me to hustle ahead so I lose that four quarters I put down there. I just want to hear what happened. Alright, okay, I'm going to say dad has left Never To Be Seen Again.

1:18:42 Drew No, I got that too.

1:18:44 Adam Okay, I'm going to go with dad stays around but is cheating on mom and not there for her.

1:18:50 Drew No, give me a good one, come on.

1:18:50 Adam That's what I'm going. Amanda, what's the story?

1:18:54 Caller Dad left.

1:18:56 Drew What?

1:18:57 Caller My dad left when my mom was still pregnant with me.

1:19:01 Drew Okay, so he was gone always.

1:19:03 Adam So you never knew him?

1:19:05 Caller I've seen him a couple of times but he scares me so I stay away from him.

1:19:10 Adam Why does he scare you?

1:19:11 Caller I don't know, one time he stalked me at my school when I was in the third grade and he was just like there and it just totally freaked me out.

1:19:20 Adam Okay.

1:19:21 Drew Anything else?

1:19:23 Caller No, that's not it.

1:19:25 Drew Did you date an older guy when you were younger?

1:19:27 Caller No.

1:19:28 Drew No? Never done anything like this before?

1:19:30 Caller No.

1:19:31 Drew Hmm, you sound so familiar with this kind of thing.

1:19:34 Adam She never moved. She never made a move.

1:19:37 Drew Right, and then nothing happened when you were six?

1:19:40 Caller He tried to put his hands in my shirt.

1:19:43 Drew Great. This guy is all class. Pure class.

1:19:46 Adam I'd like to party with this individual.

1:19:47 Drew Party. Let's take him out for a nice shooting, nice clubbing.

1:19:52 Adam Hey, Anna.

1:19:53 Drew Anna, what happened when you were six?

1:19:55 Caller When I was six? Yeah. Nothing much.

1:19:59 Adam Where's grandpa?

1:20:00 Caller I think he died.

1:20:04 Drew He's untied.

1:20:05 Adam Drew, you know what I love about this show? Three times a year I have to sneeze or blow my nose or something, and you know what we have? Dead air. How does that work, Drew?

1:20:14 Drew Well, you go into like a wind up.

1:20:16 Caller All right.

1:20:17 Drew Like a pitcher getting ready to throw the ball. Amanda, when you were, why are we picking up on something happened between the age of five and seven, something in there? Did you have a tough time in that time? Are you moving around a lot?

1:20:27 Caller I moved around like a lot.

1:20:28 Drew And when was that?

1:20:29 Caller Like all my life.

1:20:31 Drew And again, any neighbors try anything weird with you or anything like that?

1:20:36 Adam No, not that I know of. Listen, what about, and I'm not getting, as someone who was sexually abused might have made a move already with this guy.

1:20:43 Drew Yeah, but all I'm getting is that definite six-year-old voice.

1:20:45 Adam Okay, what about any step-dads or boyfriends of your mom?

1:20:50 Caller No.

1:20:51 Adam Your mom never got in another relationship?

1:20:54 Caller She did with my step-dad, but like...

1:20:56 Drew What was he like?

1:20:57 Caller He was mean.

1:20:58 Drew He was mean?

1:20:59 Caller Yeah.

1:21:00 Drew What did he do to you?

1:21:01 Caller He didn't really do anything. He was just like, he was just mean.

1:21:04 Drew Scary and mean, huh?

1:21:06 Adam Okay. So, is he still around?

1:21:09 Caller No.

1:21:10 Adam What happened to him?

1:21:11 Caller My mom left him because he was a bastard.

1:21:15 Drew What did he do to her?

1:21:16 Caller Like, I don't...

1:21:18 Caller I'm not really sure. But like, after she left him, like, I think he remarried again.

1:21:23 Drew Well, what did he do to her that made her leave? Why was he a bastard?

1:21:26 Caller He was like bossy or something.

1:21:29 Drew Bossy?

1:21:30 Caller Okay.

1:21:30 Drew Did he ever get violent in the house?

1:21:33 Caller I think Mark would probably kick his butt.

1:21:34 Adam Alright. How old were you when he left?

1:21:37 Caller When he left? Or when?

1:21:39 Adam When he left.

1:21:40 Caller My stepdad?

1:21:41 Adam Yes.

1:21:42 Caller Oh, sorry.

1:21:43 Adam We were talking about the Easter Bunny?

1:21:45 Caller Yeah.

1:21:46 Adam I love our listeners, our callers. We can talk to them for ten minutes about a certain person and then when we say, how old is he, they don't know who we're talking about. And when did he leave?

1:21:56 Caller Um, like when I was probably 11.

1:21:59 Adam All right. All right. All right. Hey, baby. Sorry you've had a bad time with men so far in your life, with your bad dad and your bad stepdad, okay? This guy's a bad guy too, coincidentally.

1:22:13 Caller You know what he told me? What? I told him, I'm like, well, you know I'm 14, right? He's like, yeah. And then he was like, you know, age doesn't matter.

1:22:20 Caller Age is just a number.

1:22:22 Drew Yeah. This guy is a colossal idiot. Right.

1:22:24 Adam Tell him, tell him, here's just a, here's another number, five to ten.

1:22:28 Drew Yeah. What if, what if, what if, Amanda, what if you were seven? Would that be okay? Age doesn't matter?

1:22:34 Adam Oh, wait. You misunderstood me. You said age doesn't matter.

1:22:37 Drew Age doesn't matter.

1:22:38 Adam Age doesn't matter. All right. Hey, Amanda. Yeah. I know it feels good to get attention from a guy, but this is the wrong guy. And you know, Drew, what that was like? That was like when they put these McMartin preschool kids on the stand. Yeah. That's what Drew was. Like, Drew, you were cross-examining a six-year-old. That's what it sounded like. Did he touch you in your special place? Here. Here's a teddy bear. Touch the bear where he touched you. Drew, you realize you're talking to a ninth grader here.

1:23:11 Caller Yep.

1:23:12 Adam Okay. Amanda, stay away from this guy. And as a matter of fact, please call the cops if he hangs out with you guys. If he asks to touch anybody or kiss anybody, try to put his hand up your top. Call the cops. I would really like that. And as you know, I don't like the cops called for just anything. But this is the guy I want the cops called on. Sea sucker. Jessica?

1:23:39 Caller Yes?

1:23:40 Adam You're 26?

1:23:41 Caller Yes.

1:23:42 Adam You sound like you think you're good-looking.

1:23:46 Caller I know I'm good-looking.

1:23:48 Adam Is that true? Do you think you're good-looking?

1:23:49 Caller Yes, I do.

1:23:50 Adam All right. You sound very confident about the way you think you look. You're fat. Drew, please.

1:23:58 Caller I am overweight.

1:23:59 Adam What are you? A big gal?

1:24:00 Caller I'm not extremely big, but I am overweight.

1:24:03 Adam Plus size, plus size. But you're attractive.

1:24:05 Caller Yes, I am.

1:24:06 Adam And you know certain black guys are into that, right? I like a big woman who's confident about that. It always smells of compensation to me, but I like that. All right. How big are you?

1:24:21 Caller About size 14.

1:24:23 Adam Size 14. And according to producer Ann, that's average. But how much does that make you weigh?

1:24:30 Caller Well, on me, it's 200 pounds.

1:24:32 Adam All right. That's fine. How tall are you?

1:24:34 Caller I'm 5'4.

1:24:35 Adam Solid.

1:24:36 I like a girl with a big butt.

1:24:40 Caller I'm also very large-breasted, so.

1:24:43 Adam Oh, nice. Nice.

1:24:45 Caller That kind of adds to the weight here.

1:24:47 Adam That's all right. Bouncy, bouncy. All right. So what's the question?

1:24:53 Caller I'm a single mom, and I work full-time, and I go to school, and I have issues with dating.

1:24:59 Adam Yeah? What's the problem?

1:25:01 Caller I can't seem to meet anybody.

1:25:04 Adam Why? How have you tried? Have your friends set you up or that kind of thing?

1:25:07 Caller Yeah. Generally, just friends setting me up just because, you know, the bar scene isn't my thing.

1:25:13 Drew Where are you going to school?

1:25:15 Caller I go to like a satellite campus.

1:25:18 Drew Do you want to meet anybody there?

1:25:20 Caller No, not really.

1:25:23 Drew I'm going to let you just make that noise. If I did that, you'd sit here and just go, and just sit back and let that happen.

1:25:29 Caller Oh, shut up.

1:25:30 Drew So true.

1:25:31 Adam Unacceptable.

1:25:33 Drew Jessica, there are guys out there and...

1:25:36 Caller Yeah, I know they're out there, but I mean it's...

1:25:38 Drew You have to network with your friends.

1:25:40 Caller It's hard to meet a single guy.

1:25:42 Drew Hey, some people use web services.

1:25:46 Adam How old is your child?

1:25:48 Caller He's four.

1:25:49 Adam All right. And you know, don't look at that as a liability because I have...

1:25:53 Caller Oh, absolutely not.

1:25:54 Adam I have many friends who have gotten themselves in relationships and it already comes sort of with a kid, and they love that kid. They're happy. They don't have to go through the old pregnancy thing and it's really... I'd like to step in and grab one about four myself.

1:26:11 Drew Oh my God. Amongst the amazing data I collected talking to Adam's girlfriend, Jimmy's wife, one of the things that came forth was when Adam's girlfriend was trying to convince him to get married and have babies, she suggested that perhaps they'd not wait much longer because the risk for downs would go up, to which Adam responded, he wants a downs baby. Well, a downs child would be great.

1:26:30 Adam Well, look at all the trouble you've got. First off, you don't have to buy him all the expensive, expensive high fashion clothes, right? You never have to worry about him wanting to borrow the car.

1:26:39 Caller You never have to worry about him ever leaving the house.

1:26:41 Adam Never leaves the house? This is like a pet. No, I said, how do we...

1:26:45 Drew Higher education?

1:26:46 Adam We should be... I think I brought that up. I don't have to pay for college. We should be so blessed that we have a downs syndrome baby.

1:26:53 Caller Oh my goodness.

1:26:54 Adam Listen baby, you need to... Here's what you need to do, probably need to lose a couple of pounds, just because why not?

1:27:02 Caller Well, because that's the first thing anybody ever looks at.

1:27:05 Adam Makes it easier, what the hell. And what the hell, for you, for me, for him. And number two, I would suggest doing one of those dating service kind of things.

1:27:15 Drew Yeah, why not?

1:27:16 Adam I mean, there's a lot of... Are you Jewish?

1:27:18 Drew No.

1:27:19 Adam I know, I got a buddy who does this J-date thing, this Jew date. It's great. He meets all sorts of Jews.

1:27:25 Drew Is he Jewish?

1:27:26 Adam Yeah.

1:27:26 Drew No.

1:27:26 Adam Yeah, he is. Why don't you pretend you're Jewish? Get on the Internet. I'd say do one of these adult dating service things. You're busy, you're a mom, you work full time, you're a student, you just don't have time and you're not going to score in the clubs. You need to find a good guy. You're probably not looking for Lorenzo Lamas. You want something solid. Do one of these reputable dating things. All right, we're going to take a little break.

1:27:55 Drew Okay. Oh, what was that?

1:27:58 Adam I'm sick, Drew. When we come back, we'll hit you with the lightening, right?

1:28:06 Yeah. Check it a minute.

1:29:03 Drew There we go, it's Loveline. Want to talk to Josh again?

1:29:08 Adam All right.

1:29:09 Drew Josh is 18. He loved this guy. He called. And he told me he had a bad attitude.

1:29:14 Adam Yeah.

1:29:15 Drew Josh.

1:29:16 Adam Yeah. What's going on? We were going to do the lightning round, but Drew was late. He threw the whole thing off.

1:29:21 Drew You understand, you're rewarding me.

1:29:23 Adam All right. I'm just telling people if they want to know.

1:29:26 Drew What's up, Josh?

1:29:27 Caller All right. Um, in back in May, I had sex for the first time. Okay. And this girl calls me up. You know, I see her school and stuff, but she calls me up last week and says that I'm the father of her kid that she just had.

1:29:49 Drew Okay.

1:29:50 Caller But, okay. So I mean, it scared the, it scared the hell out of me. The first person I told was my girlfriend. And.

1:29:59 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:30:00 Caller No, but what I was.

1:30:01 Drew She must have appreciated that.

1:30:02 Caller What I wanted to know.

1:30:04 Adam Well, wait a minute. Did you have the girlfriend when you had sex with her?

1:30:07 Caller No.

1:30:08 Drew New girlfriend.

1:30:08 Caller Right. New girlfriend. Okay. But what I wanted to know is that was in May. All right. And she had this thing on a Wednesday night and brought it home Thursday night. That makes seven months. Is that too premature to bring home? I mean, is it?

1:30:23 Drew No, it's fine.

1:30:24 Adam They do that?

1:30:25 Drew Yeah. It's possible.

1:30:25 Adam Bring home next day?

1:30:27 Drew That's 35 weeks.

1:30:28 Adam Two months preemie?

1:30:29 Drew Maybe.

1:30:29 Adam Maybe?

1:30:30 Drew No, it's fine.

1:30:31 Adam Well, you didn't use any protection?

1:30:34 Caller Yeah, I did.

1:30:34 Drew You did?

1:30:35 Caller Yes.

1:30:36 Drew What did you use?

1:30:37 Caller A condom.

1:30:38 Drew And it didn't break?

1:30:39 Caller I don't think it did. I don't know.

1:30:41 Drew Well, then you have evidence. You're suspicious about the dates. You wore a contraception. Maybe it's not yours.

1:30:47 Caller But the thing, yeah, that's what I was just wondering because I mean, I know she's, like, she had a boyfriend for like two years and, you know, they were doing it all the time and then...

1:30:57 Drew All right, so listen, you have reason to believe that not necessarily yours. You can get paternity testing if you want.

1:31:02 Caller Right.

1:31:03 Drew And there you go.

1:31:04 Adam Is she nutty?

1:31:06 Caller Well, I think so because I come to find out from a bunch of different people that she got around quite often.

1:31:14 Adam Yeah, and why wouldn't she tell you until she had the kid?

1:31:17 Caller Well, see, I don't know, but the thing is that she was accusing somebody else for the first six months she had it.

1:31:23 Drew All right, so who knows? All right, so who knows?

1:31:27 Adam Tell her you got to get a paternity test.

1:31:30 Drew Eliana.

1:31:31 Caller Yes.

1:31:32 Caller What's up?

1:31:33 Caller I'm fourteen and I have some friends that I've been hanging out with. And they've been taking viking in to get higher, I don't know. And I was wondering if there was any side effects or what it just gets you higher.

1:31:48 Drew It's profoundly addictive. You might as well be doing heroin or morphine or anything else, all the same. Except viking has one added thing that's now been shown to cause.

1:31:55 Adam I don't think you might as well be doing heroin.

1:31:57 Drew It causes deafness. Really? And it's real sporadic. We don't know who is going to cause it in. It doesn't necessarily, it's not necessarily associated with the dose you're taking.

1:32:07 Adam You don't get a good buzz off that Vicodin anyway.

1:32:09 Drew Not as good as heroin, but. No way.

1:32:12 Adam It's light waste.

1:32:12 Caller So people take it for.

1:32:14 Drew What?

1:32:14 Adam They're trying to get buzzed.

1:32:16 Drew It's an opiate. Really?

1:32:18 Adam They're trying to alter themselves.

1:32:20 Drew Okay. And people who are addicts will really get a profound euphoria from it and feel really good.

1:32:25 Adam You don't want to monkey with that Vicodin.

1:32:26 Drew Not if you can help it.

1:32:28 Caller So it's not a good idea.

1:32:30 No.

1:32:30 Adam No. Listen, man. And this oxycontin and everything, it's just such a horrible life getting strung out on this stuff because your body really needs it once you get going on it. And then what happens is, is you got to get yourself some pills and you've got to get a lot of them and you've got to get them every day. And it becomes a full-time gig and you're breaking into pharmacies and robbing them and bussing into people's houses and following people home with prescriptions. I mean, it just gets crazy.

1:33:05 Drew Mostly what they would do is go to lots and lots of doctors and just get huge prescriptions from multiple doctors.

1:33:09 Adam Yeah, these are, you're thinking of sort of upper-scale people though, but I mean when you're talking about some nineteen-year-old with no insurance, you don't go to, you're not Elvis. You're not going to a bunch of doctors, you're ripping people off, you're driving your truck through the wall of the pharmacy and running in at night and grabbing whatever you can grab. I mean it'd be great if it was that sort of white collar drug abuse stuff, but these people are just a lot of young people getting strung out on this stuff and it just couldn't be worse because it's like, it becomes a full-time job. That's all you can do.

1:33:45 Drew Oh yeah, that's it.

1:33:47 Adam It's like the retarded kid I'm going to have. It would be a full-time job for the old lady to take care of him while I'm traveling. Okay, we'll be back.

1:33:55 Drew All right, guys, here's the deal.

1:33:57 Caller You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

1:34:00 Caller One call is all you need to make.

1:34:02 Caller Call the Dateline, 877-889-DATE.

1:34:41 Adam Well, there it is.

1:34:43 Drew Peony. Your favorite kind of show, though. No one here.

1:34:45 Adam Yep.

1:34:46 Drew No guest.

1:34:46 Adam Remy Zero in here tomorrow night. I don't know if I've been here since they've been here.

1:34:51 Drew Have I?

1:34:53 Adam We don't know.

1:34:55 Drew We met them before?

1:34:56 Adam Puddle of mud later on. We will take ourselves a little extended dance break here. And until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo.

1:35:09 Caller This has been Loveline, the opinions expressed on the show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Monday, December 17, 2001