Episode 1000754886615

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline Coast to Coast.

1:13 Voiceover Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board-certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Dr. Drew, back from his amazing cruise that he took, that went through Central America and South America, and ended up in Cuba and went to the Panama Canal.

1:36 Drew Oh, honey. Why did you want to talk about this last night? All of a sudden, you're into it.

1:40 Adam Well, Jay McGraw was in here last night. We're talking about his book and stuff. But I'm interested in all that stuff, the canal and all that kind of business. You know, there's a few things I like about the canal. One, I like to defy nature and God.

1:58 Drew And the man.

1:59 Adam And the man. But if anyone ever looks at a map, and you see that little sliver of Panama, and then you see the horn that must, that you must go around if you can't make it through that little sliver, it is amazing. And I'm sure for hundreds and hundreds of years, people have dreamt of dragging their boats across that short stretch of land. And I don't know, maybe they used to physically cart them across. I'm sure they did.

2:28 Drew Yeah, get some of the other side.

2:29 Adam But now it all works. Another thing I like about the Panama Canal is the French had at it for about a hundred years and eventually we kicked those frogs out of there and said, look, you want to get this done right? You get some Americans. Imagine a French trying to do some big dirty job like that.

2:46 Drew They all got a yellow fever.

2:48 Adam Yeah, they all got stung by mosquitos.

2:51 Drew They tried to do a sea level, a sea level connector. Right. We made a lake and made these locks that lift you up to the lake.

3:00 Adam The lakes up in the middle?

3:01 Drew Yeah. And then locks bring you back down to the ocean.

3:03 Adam So Drew was going through the rainforest, getting stung by wasps.

3:08 Drew I heard all this last night. That's right. I forgot I impressed you with one story.

3:12 Adam Drew told me on the ride home last night on the phone. Drew was riding horses through the rainforest. I don't know, the only thing I can think of is a porn movie.

3:19 Drew Indiana Jones.

3:20 Adam That's my only reference. Oh yes, Indiana Jones. Going to Cuba and seeing what a colossal dump that place is and how crazy Castro is and how communism is just completely falling apart.

3:32 Drew Oh yeah.

3:34 Adam Listen everybody, if communism is a decent way of government, why are all communist countries dumps?

3:40 Drew Not just dumps, just disasters. Just total disasters.

3:43 Adam Is Cuba a disaster?

3:44 Drew Disaster.

3:45 Adam There's no car in Cuba newer than 1945?

3:49 Drew 58.

3:50 Adam 58 is like the newest car in Cuba.

3:52 Drew The moment the revolution began, anything new ceased to exist.

3:56 Adam So as soon as they kicked the mob out of there, that was it, the place went downhill. Say what you want about the mob, but they run a tight ship.

4:04 Drew Good economy.

4:05 Adam Well, that's what they are.

4:07 Drew Their economic literacy is very high.

4:09 Adam Yeah. So Cuba is falling apart.

4:12 Drew Yeah.

4:12 Adam Castro is insane.

4:14 Drew Yeah.

4:14 Adam You met with Castro?

4:16 Drew Met with him. You want to see it?

4:17 Adam You got a picture of Castro?

4:18 Drew Yeah.

4:19 Adam You got a tape of Castro?

4:20 Drew Yeah.

4:21 Adam You had to bring video cameras into Cuba and photograph Castro?

4:26 Drew Yeah. It's not crazy. It's not controlled in a covert way. It's controlled in an overt way. I see. You want to do business with us? Fine. Join the revolution. Bring your country. Bring your business. We'll take it. Fine.

4:39 Adam What revolution is going on over there? I mean, everything is dead, isn't it?

4:43 Drew Yeah. It's a revolution. 1958. The world is going to be all one brotherhood.

4:49 Adam We're going to be communist?

4:51 Drew It's a revolution. Come join.

4:52 Adam Ever since-

4:54 Drew Reinvested human capital, not buildings, it's paint and automobiles.

4:59 Adam Ever since the Soviet Union cut them off, it's just got to be a dump over there.

5:03 Drew Really, it's so obvious how many billions of dollars they poured in to keep that afloat.

5:08 Adam The Soviets.

5:09 Drew Oh, my God, and when they pulled out, it just sunk like Atlantis.

5:13 Adam Well, how much longer can Cuba be communist?

5:16 Drew 15 years.

5:18 Adam It's not gonna be that long?

5:19 Drew No.

5:19 Adam Okay, and Castro, is he just a rambling madman?

5:24 Drew Yes.

5:24 Adam So he, Drew, you went and had a meeting with Castro, not you personally.

5:31 Drew This group we're with.

5:32 Adam But a group.

5:32 Drew Yeah.

5:33 Adam And Castro got up there and spoke to you guys.

5:35 Drew He spoke and he has a thought process that's disordered. He's what's called tangential. It's what manic depressives get. And there was a Cuban scholar with us and he said he's been up there, he's heard him speak, where he becomes so disorganized no two word connects. It's just a complete gobbledygook.

5:51 Adam Worse than, say, like Maxine Waters, the woman.

5:54 Drew Yes, makes her look erudite. Worse than Ozzy.

5:57 Adam Worse than Ozzy, really?

5:59 Drew Ozzy seems like a scholar.

6:00 Adam Really?

6:01 Drew Oh, yes. This is, you know, he took, he let us bring our kids in, he took some questions from the kids, and one of his kids goes, you know, you love baseball, we know that. What position do you play? 20 minutes later. 20 minutes. He's talking about boxing and swimming.

6:17 Adam He's worse than one of our callers?

6:19 Drew Absolutely.

6:20 Adam Think about that.

6:21 Drew Oh, we don't give our callers 20 minutes. We cut them off right away. And that's the problem with this guy.

6:26 Adam Wow. So Castro, in your mind, is out of it, disturbed?

6:30 Drew No, not of smart and charming and impressive, but crazy. And his delusion is shared by the population that remains on that island. They're all like sleepwalking.

6:44 Adam You think he's circumcised?

6:46 Drew Sure. Okay.

6:48 Adam All right. Well, good times. Dr. Drew, meeting with Castro. And, you know, meeting with Castro is smart. It's sort of like, I imagine there was a time in the mid-70s when going to see Elvis in a Vegas show was probably, sure, probably tantamount to us going and seeing a Siegfried and Roy or something.

7:07 Yeah.

7:08 Adam You know what I mean? A little passe.

7:10 Oh, yeah.

7:10 Adam A little been done, been there, done that. But now, if you went and saw Elvis, you're cool or the Beatles, obviously. There's a handful of people. Drew, when Castro kicks the bucket in the next five years, you can then say, for the next six years of your life, or however long you're here, or your wife kills you, that you went and met with the man. That will make you cool.

7:33 Drew That and how about my kids? They were there.

7:35 Adam Yeah, you met your kids? Oh, I see what you're saying.

7:37 Drew You're talking about how I scrolled up at Disneyland and stuff. Imagine this now.

7:40 Adam Kids met Castro. That's right.

7:42 Drew And their idea was that, I said, look, people are not going to believe you when you say this. You got to just remember this moment. I know it's boring, but remember it.

7:50 Adam Oh, my God. It must have been boring.

7:51 Drew Oh, my God.

7:52 Yes.

7:52 Adam Paige?

7:53 Yes.

7:54 Adam You're 25?

7:55 Caller Yeah.

7:55 Adam What's up?

7:57 Caller I have been considering getting breast implants. Not unsatisfied with the size. It's just the firmness and whatever. So I went and had a consultation. And my problem is that I've done a lot of research on the internet. I've looked at the FDA website. I've looked at so many things. And I get so many conflicting answers as far as health problems that can come from this.

8:21 Drew You got conflicting answers from the FDA?

8:24 Caller No, no, no. Between what the FDA says and what the plastic surgeon at the consultation said.

8:31 Drew Okay, what did he say?

8:33 Caller He said like a risk of capsular constriction, the blood clot or the scar tissue that forms is like 4 percent. Right. Rupture, he said that very few women, he had been doing this for 20 years and like very few women had come back needing them replaced. Whereas on the internet I had read, in the 15 years.

8:57 Drew Yeah, redo is for so many women is not uncommon.

9:00 Adam What about redo's now?

9:02 Drew Again, a lot of capsular scarring, a lot of movement, a lot of redo. Many women find redo is necessary.

9:08 Adam Anything different in the last 10 years beside the saline to silicone or silicone to saline?

9:14 Drew Yeah, there are different kinds of, yeah, there are different kinds.

9:16 Adam Is it procedure for installing them? Is that technique improved? I imagine it would have.

9:21 Drew Yeah, but there's a lot of different ways. They put it on the above the muscle, under the muscle, they go from the belly button or under the arm.

9:26 Adam Here's what I'm saying. If you installed a saline one 10 years ago, how much longer is the life expectancy of that now? How far have we come?

9:36 Drew Saline implant, I don't think has been a change. It's the same.

9:40 Adam The same as 10 years ago.

9:42 Drew I would say.

9:43 Adam But here's what I'm saying. I got to talk about cars for a second. Car engines have been the same as it's been for 75 years. But now, the transmission is sealed and you don't have to change the transmission fluid. It's the same transmission as just sealed. Is it the same boob job, but instead of having to redo it in 10 years, you can redo it in 30 years?

10:05 Drew Do you know what I'm saying?

10:06 Adam Where have they come with this in the last 10 or 15 years?

10:09 Drew Yeah, there are different qualities to the surface and the way it sticks and the way the decreased risk of capsular heat.

10:15 Adam All right, well, Paige, just go get it done. Who cares?

10:18 Drew Why aren't you doing the silicone?

10:21 Adam You can't do the silicone.

10:22 Drew Yeah, you can now.

10:22 Caller Oh, you can? From what I've read, I wanted to get one of the two FDA approved.

10:29 Adam Do they have a FDA approved silicone?

10:32 Caller No, from what I've read about the silicone is fairly dangerous. And as far as when they rupture, the silicone gel is not very easily absorbed by the body, whereas saline is a saltwater.

10:46 Adam Yeah, but you know, the silicone feels better than the saline.

10:48 Caller Right. Yeah, I've read that too.

10:50 Adam I felt both of them.

10:52 Drew Who's the number one?

10:52 Adam Outside of a woman. Minka had silly string in her boobs. She had some bizarre in there. Yeah.

10:59 Drew What does she have?

11:00 Adam Some strands of something. It wasn't solid. She had trouble beating off to her that night on the ride home. It was so difficult. I wish she hadn't told me that. Geez, I was halfway on a freeway before I made. Okay. Hey, Paige, so what do you want?

11:18 Caller I'm just really looking for some straight answers. I just don't understand why I'm getting different.

11:23 Drew Because there is no straight answer. Whenever you get conflicting answers like that, it's because no one knows for sure. Although, the prevailing wisdom is that a lot of the concern about this procedure and the silicone, everything was overstated. There still comes some concerns and it's a surgery procedure and there's certain risks.

11:41 Adam But get the saline in. Here's what you do. You find a reputable doctor and you use him and trust him and that's how he got his reputation.

11:49 Drew That's right.

11:50 Adam Stop freaking out. Cindy?

11:52 Yes.

11:52 Adam You're 32.

11:53 Caller I am.

11:54 Adam What's up?

11:55 Caller I just found out the week before Christmas that my mother put a baby up for adoption two years before I was born.

12:03 Adam Was it her baby?

12:04 Caller Yeah, it was her baby.

12:05 Adam I see.

12:05 Caller Yes, it was.

12:07 Drew How old are you, Cindy?

12:08 Caller 32. So he's 35.

12:11 Drew What's the problem?

12:12 Caller It's not a problem. Well, I guess he's come looking for her and I confronted her and she said that it was true and yes, he's come looking for her, but she's not giving any information out.

12:28 Adam How did you find out about it?

12:30 Caller Actually, my stepdad told me.

12:35 Adam Are they still together?

12:36 Caller No, they're not.

12:38 Adam So this was around the holidays?

12:39 Caller Yeah. Well, he's like my dad. He was married before I was born basically.

12:48 Adam Okay.

12:48 Caller So I mean, he's not my biological dad, but he's been there.

12:52 Adam Okay. Now, she doesn't want to see the kid she gave up for adoption.

12:56 Caller No, she does. She says she does.

12:58 Drew Why does this involve you, Cindy? You're 32. Do you have your own kids?

13:02 Caller I have my own kids.

13:02 Drew All right. What's the big deal? This is your mom's problem. Do you want to help her with it?

13:06 Caller Yeah, I do.

13:07 Drew Well, she doesn't want the help.

13:09 Caller Well, can I go find them by myself?

13:11 Adam Well, wait a second, wait a second, Cindy. Yes, sir. You said that he came looking for her.

13:17 Caller Yes.

13:18 Adam And you said that she would like to see him.

13:21 Caller Yes.

13:22 Adam And those two Nimrods can't figure this out between the two of them?

13:25 Caller My mother is so screwed up.

13:26 Drew We're getting that. What's her deal?

13:32 Caller I think there's a lot of stuff I don't know still, but she had a real crummy childhood, I guess. I mean, I don't know. I always grew up thinking my grandparents were like the best, the best there could ever be. And now stories are coming out that, you know, my grandfather was a real piece of work towards her. Yeah. But I mean, he did not.

13:56 Drew You're not helping me understand. Is she a drug addict?

13:58 Caller No, she's not. But I mean, she's, I can say she's on her fifth marriage. You know?

14:06 Adam OK. So listen, why do you need to help her find him?

14:10 Drew Have you always been taking?

14:11 Adam And why can't he find her?

14:13 Caller Well, I think he she keeps making the excuse. Her excuse why they haven't met yet is because something with the adoption agency that she needs certain papers.

14:22 Adam How many kids do you have, Screwball? Me? Yeah.

14:25 Caller Three.

14:25 Adam Three?

14:26 Caller Yeah.

14:27 Adam That's three too many.

14:28 Caller I know it is.

14:29 Adam That's two and a half too many for you to handle.

14:31 Caller My husband got fixed.

14:33 Adam All right. Are you guys still together?

14:34 Caller Yeah. Thirteen years.

14:36 Adam You have three kids not to screw up.

14:39 Caller Yeah. I know.

14:39 Adam That's your mission in life.

14:41 Caller I think I'm doing a good job.

14:42 Adam Okay. That's fine. Listen. That's fine. But this whole thing about getting this adult man hooked up with your crazy marriage happy mom is just a bizarre distraction that keeps you away from the job of being a mother to your three kids.

14:57 Caller Yeah. But I mean, I have a curiosity towards, you know, who this guy is.

15:02 Adam Well, listen, do you have a biological brother? No.

15:07 Caller Well, I have two half-sisters.

15:09 Adam All right. And what about them? How are they doing?

15:11 Caller They're doing good.

15:12 Adam Okay.

15:13 Caller I mean, amazing enough for a semi-normal.

15:16 Adam Right. But they're not taking the world by storm.

15:18 Caller No.

15:18 Adam Okay. Well, there you go. You're going to be more disappointed when you see this guy.

15:22 Caller Probably.

15:23 Adam Okay. There you go. More disappointment.

15:26 Caller All right.

15:26 Drew Just let her handle her own affairs. All right.

15:28 Adam This focus. Here's what I'm worried about.

15:30 Drew Taking a focus on her kids.

15:31 Adam I don't want a distraction from your marriage and your three kids. Right. Okay. If this thing works out, this thing works out. That's all I'm saying. Everybody's a disappointment. Don't ever meet anybody. That's what I'm saying.

15:46 Drew Yeah. You don't want to meet Adam or me. Well, no.

15:49 Adam There's a couple of people on TV and radio that you should want to meet.

15:51 Drew No. We'd be disappointed.

15:53 Adam Listen. Here's what I'm saying.

15:54 Drew I've seen you meet people. Here's your reaction to them. Beat it.

15:58 Adam Well, I tell them to beat it if they come up to me and talk to you.

16:01 Drew Yeah. OK.

16:01 Adam How dare you? That chick said to me, Are you as big an asshole in real life as you are on TV?

16:08 Drew There you go.

16:08 Adam So I told her to beat it. Beat it. Here's my point.

16:12 Drew All right.

16:13 Adam If I take a random sampling of the guys I went to high school with, I realize they're pretty regular guys doing sort of mundane boring things. If they're lucky, they're not strung out on something right now, then that's what I'm saying. Her brother is just going to be that.

16:31 Drew Yeah.

16:31 Adam 20 pounds overweight, got a job working at a supermarket as a assistant manager. She doesn't need that. All right. Stop writing, Drew. I can always hear it. Always hear it. Sheila?

16:45 Caller Hello?

16:46 Adam Yeah.

16:47 Drew Should I stop breathing too? Because you might be able to hear that. Okay.

16:51 Caller Sorry?

16:52 Adam Sheila, you're 36. What's up?

16:53 Caller Okay. I caught the tell end of the program last night, and Dr. Drew mentioned that he would write for the morning after pill for any people who would call his office.

17:02 Drew Yes. Well, no, I want to be that. I want to be that.

17:06 Caller Oh, okay.

17:07 Drew In fact, I called California Medical Association three times today and emailed them. I am hell bent on this.

17:12 Caller Okay.

17:13 Drew Now, all I know is that the law in California has changed, so that within this state, the pharmacist only needs some sort of, is it in Utah yet?

17:21 Caller Right. Okay. It's in Utah, but it requires a prescription.

17:25 Drew Hold on. Sheila's calling from Salt Lake City.

17:27 Adam Thank you, Drew.

17:29 Drew In California and Oregon, a few other states now, you can do it just with an agreement with the pharmacist. So, I want to have an agreement with lots of pharmacies that people can get that.

17:37 Caller Okay. Basically, if you'll allow me to use your name, because I'm at work right now and I work the graveyard shift, I get a lot of people coming in and asking me for that. If you'll allow me to use your name as the prescribing MD, I'm more than happy to do it.

17:52 Drew Can I do it across state lines like that?

17:54 Caller Yes.

17:55 Drew All right. I'm going to have, do I need to fill anything out?

17:57 Caller No.

17:58 Drew Really?

17:59 Caller No.

17:59 Drew You don't need my license number or anything?

18:01 Caller You know, the location where I work, our system is universal. I've got your name on our system.

18:07 Adam Hold on. Hold on.

18:08 Drew Oh, good. Okay.

18:09 Adam Would you guys be quiet for a second? Sheila, I'm guessing you're a pharmacist.

18:13 Drew Yeah.

18:13 Caller Right.

18:13 Adam And you're working out of the Salt Lake City area.

18:16 Caller Exactly.

18:17 Adam Okay. All the stuff we never get to on this show.

18:20 Drew Can you fax me what, you know, what happens and how many are able to issue?

18:24 Caller I'd be glad to.

18:24 Drew Do I need to follow up on anything? Do we need to document anything?

18:29 Caller You know, I document the prescription as it's filled and I would be glad to fax over whatever documentation you would like.

18:35 Drew The only thing I want to be sure of is that people don't start using this as a contraceptive. You know what I mean?

18:39 Caller Oh, all right.

18:39 Adam Let them use it.

18:40 Caller I can get a history.

18:41 Drew Yeah. Just make sure they're not repeat offenders.

18:44 Adam All right. Well, wait a second. Now, let me ask this. I'll put Sheila on hold for a second.

18:49 Drew Sheila, thank you for calling. We need like a national network. I want to set something up here.

18:54 Adam We're talking about the morning after pill. We've been talking for a long time about getting this into young people's hands or people who need it. And we've also been talking about the crazy hypocrisy of this California state law that you needed a prescription to get this thing when it was nonsense, when it was safe and effective. So, Drew, something has passed in the last few weeks or few days that says you can now get it without a prescription.

19:22 Drew In California.

19:23 Adam But with what? I don't understand the rest of this.

19:26 Drew That's what I'm trying to look into.

19:27 Adam You can get the morning after pill with what? What does the pharmacist need?

19:32 Drew I think you need some sort of form. In California, it's filled out by the physician. But Sheila is saying she doesn't need that.

19:37 Adam A form filled out from the physician for each and every one?

19:40 Drew For each pharmacist.

19:41 Adam For each pharmacist. What does that mean?

19:43 Drew I don't understand. I made several calls today to try to find out.

19:47 Adam They never called you back?

19:49 Drew They never called me back. Idiots. Then I emailed. I never got an email response.

19:53 Adam Yeah. They're really interested in helping over there, aren't they? Let me say this. You put a form in at a pharmacist.

20:02 Drew Probably in that form is sort of an agreement to heal the facts back what they've done or something, to give you some history of what they're doing.

20:09 Adam I don't understand what good that does.

20:11 Drew To me, it takes the liability off the pharmacist, probably. I don't know. Ask Sheila. Maybe she knows what the argument's about.

20:17 Adam Sheila?

20:17 Caller Yes.

20:18 Drew Why do you even need a physician with this?

20:19 Caller Okay. It's just the law in Utah. It is a prescription item.

20:24 Drew But in California, it's not, though, that they're still requiring some sort of paperwork connection between the pharmacist and the doctor.

20:30 Caller Honestly, I'm not familiar with California law, so I couldn't comment on that.

20:34 Drew Okay.

20:34 Adam All right, baby. Thank you.

20:35 Drew Thank you, Sheila.

20:36 Adam Do you want to talk to her off the air or something?

20:38 Drew Let's put her on hold. Hey, Tara, hold onto Sheila for a few minutes, will you?

20:44 Adam I don't understand. If something is not prescription, then doesn't it become role aids at a certain point? And then how does that work? Can't I just walk in and buy some aspirin?

20:53 Drew This may be some sort of process for which it becomes like that.

20:58 Adam Let me do a little recreation. Maybe this is just a little. You missed it. You missed it because Drew was turning his arm like he was turning the crank of an old movie theater while he was, old movie camera while he was talking. Well, Drew, what'd he say? You want to take another?

21:18 Drew But it's in fact.

21:21 Adam Sherry?

21:23 Hi.

21:23 Adam Hey, you're 45.

21:24 Yes. I love you guys. And I have a question here for Dr. Drew. I just recently have been diagnosed with two large corpus luteum cysts that encapsulated my left ovary. And I was just wondering what you think can cause that?

21:40 Drew Being female.

21:41 Being female, huh?

21:42 Adam What's luteum mean?

21:43 Drew Corpus luteum. These are just simple cysts. Nothing.

21:47 Nothing. How would they?

21:48 Drew The problem, they, pretty much everyone gets these. The problem is at your age, they need to make sure that's what they are. And sometimes they would take them out if there's any question about what's inside them. If they're not homogenous.

21:59 Adam I thought corpus meant corpse.

22:00 Drew Body. Corpus.

22:02 Adam No.

22:03 Drew Corpus luteum, it's the body, the luteal phase of the menstrual cycle.

22:07 Adam So body of?

22:08 Drew Luteum. Of, okay.

22:12 Adam I might name my kid Luteum.

22:14 Drew How about your rock band?

22:15 Adam Luteum Carolla.

22:16 Drew Yeah. Ooh, luteum, I don't know.

22:18 Adam Was I telling you, was I telling you that story about Tony Carolla?

22:24 Drew No.

22:25 Adam No? I gotta say it real fast. You know, it's one of these things. These stories, I know, they're never impressive when you're not there because when other people have things that happen that are sort of serendipitous or something or coincidental, it's like big deal. But just be there with me for a second. I'm driving in about two weeks ago. I'm in Las Vegas. I'm driving in with Jimmy and another guy to record some phone calls for our prank phone call show. Pat Cooper, the old time Italian comedian who's on Stern all the time, who yells all the time. They always interview him whenever they do any of these rat pack retrospectives or anything. And he talks about playing the Copa with Frank. He's one of these guys, real blowhard, sweet old guy, but old time comedian and super Italian. His real name is Pasquale Pastrami or something. It's a crazy Italian name. But anyway, Pat Cooper. I'm driving in and I'm complaining as I normally do to Jimmy and this writer friend of ours who are in the van on the way to the recording studio. This Adam Corolla is a curse, this name Adam. Everyone thinks I'm a Jew. If my name was Tony Corolla, everyone would know I was Italian. And people say to me all the time, and I believe because of the name Adam, what kind of name is Corolla? And Jimmy has a theory that there's some confusion because of the car name too, but there's difficulty. What kind of name is that Corolla? I don't know what nationality that is, everyone says. That's Corolla. It's a very Italian sounding name if you really think about it. It's the Adam that screws it. Yes. Because how many Italian Adams are there? Right. Only my parents would be stupid enough to name their kid Adam when he's Italian. Now, between the nappy hair and the comedy life, everyone thinks I'm Jewish when I'm Italian. So what's wrong with that? Nothing. But I'd rather be Italian. I'd rather be what I am. That's the point.

24:16 Drew I am what I am. Yeah.

24:17 Adam And let's face it, Italian is a little more cool than Jew. I mean, that's obvious. So Italians pull down more tail than Jews. So I said, I said, if they'd name me Tony, everything would be fine. Tony Corolla. He's Italian. So I'm sitting next to Pat Cooper. He's making these crazy phone calls. I'm sitting next to him in this recording studio, writing jokes on a Marks a Lot board feverishly and handing it to him. We get along pretty well, even though he's an abrasive guy and about halfway into it, he turns to me and he looks at me and he goes, you, you're not Adam, you're not Em, that's not Em, you're a Tony, you're a Tony, I'm going to call you Tony. I thought this is the most bizarre thing in the world. I just had a long-winded discussion about how I should be called Tony on the drive over. I'm like, and I had not had the I should be called Tony discussion in years with anybody, and nobody has ever pointed at me and said, you need to be called Tony, and he didn't pay much never mind to the story I told him, he just kept going. He's in for the rest of the day, call me Tony. Now, how does that work? How does that work?

25:22 Drew That kind of stuff happens to you a lot.

25:24 Adam Where's the energy? Do you know what I'm saying?

25:26 Drew Yes. What is that?

25:28 Adam I decide to name myself another name and a guy I never met before decides to call me that name too within an hour of me labeling myself that.

25:37 Drew How many experiences like this you and I have?

25:39 Caller A lot. A lot.

25:41 Adam That's just weird.

25:42 Caller Yeah.

25:43 Adam It's great though about Jimmy's freaking out and the writer who is with us freaking out and Pat Cooper is like, yeah, yeah, so what?

25:50 Drew Yeah. Tony, shut up.

25:51 Adam Pat was great too and then we're going to break. The one great thing about Pat is, I'll give you the Pat Cooper impersonation. Do you got a phone ring? Now, we would call people and say, Pat, we're calling an Italian restaurant in Brooklyn, Europe as well, like a pool, all right? Here we go. They're not there. They're not there. Hang up. Let's go. Let's do another one. They're not there. And right when I'd be saying, Pat, the phone only rang, the person would pick up. But he would do it every single call. One ring, be sitting there, looking around, twiddling his thumbs. Not there. Hang up. Let's go. Let's do another. He would announce they're not there. At the second ring on every call, and every time he made the announcement, they would pick up. And then the one time he didn't make the announcement after five in a row, of course, they didn't pick up. We'll be right back. We'll be back with more Dr. Drew and Tony Corolla after this.

26:51 Caller Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

27:28 Adam Hey, everybody, Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew brought his video camera in and is showing me pictures of the Panama Canal.

27:37 Drew Isn't that wild?

27:38 Adam Yeah, it's a very, very interesting engineering project at Panama Canal. Always been interested in it. And yeah, that was a video reference that Anderson did there from the audio file. Also, I don't know how many people died building that thing, probably a couple of thousand.

27:58 Drew Oh no, tens of thousands. Yeah, really? Yeah, over the entire span of the temps. Oh, sure.

28:03 Adam That was back in the good old days when if we took on a decent sized construction project, we could figure that a couple hundred folks would die.

28:11 Drew Yeah, just an average construction project.

28:13 Adam Well, it'd be like there'd be X amount of white dudes who died and then a huge amount of sort of indigenous native types.

28:21 Drew Well, that's precisely what happened with this thing is they hired all these Caribbean guys from around the surrounding islands.

28:27 Adam Oh my God.

28:28 Drew They all died.

28:28 Adam And they didn't even have any. You know, it's not like Caterpillar was in business back then. It was just a bunch of steam shovels and mules and guys just rocking out, just taking out buckets of rocks by hand and just dying there.

28:42 Drew Yellow fever.

28:43 Adam Listen, everybody, you think your job sucks. It may suck, but at least you're not dying on it.

28:47 Drew And they would make like 12 cents a day.

28:49 Adam Right. And then they'd go to some shanty camp and waste it all at the community store where they were gouged. Some whore would come in and overcharge her for BJ. What a life. Listen, all you broads are constantly complaining about your lives. Think of all the millions and millions of guys that have died just on the job. How many women have died on the job? Like three? You know what I'm saying? I want to know. I want to see a number for that. All you broads complaining about your tough life all the time. Millions of guys died just working. Summer?

29:22 Yeah.

29:23 Adam You're 15?

29:24 Caller Yep.

29:24 Adam What's up? Hold on. Drew?

29:25 Drew Stop this.

29:26 Adam I told you I want to watch the canal footage.

29:29 Drew That was the end of it.

29:30 Adam Oh.

29:30 Drew I was trying to fussy what was.

29:31 All right.

29:32 Adam Sorry. Go ahead, Summer. You're 15. I want to watch Drew's video camera while I was answering calls.

29:38 Caller OK.

29:38 Adam Why not have some entertainment for myself?

29:43 Caller Well, see, I don't have any respect for the pop culture nowadays.

29:48 Adam Yeah. I'm with you. I'm with you. I mean, I don't know what's up with the pop culture.

29:53 Caller I totally feel like it completely killed good music.

29:56 Adam Oh, man. Yeah.

29:58 Drew What does this mean? What are we talking about?

29:59 Caller I mean, I would like, OK, like on VH1 a couple months ago when they were doing the 100 Greatest Albums of Rock and Roll, did you see Britney Spears' list?

30:10 Adam Did I see her list?

30:11 Drew No, I missed that.

30:12 Adam Oh, gosh.

30:13 Caller She had NSYNC, Mariah Carey, Backstreet Boys. I don't even remember what the number one album was, but it was like NSYNC or something and I was just like, suck up.

30:23 Adam Yes, I agree. What's up with you? Well, you're 15. This is good. This kind of thing you should be thinking about.

30:31 Drew Right.

30:31 Caller Well, see, I have more respect for like the Beatles or Stevie Ray Vaughn.

30:38 Adam Right.

30:39 Caller You know.

30:40 Drew You have older siblings or cousins or something? Your parents were hippies.

30:44 Caller No, I don't actually.

30:45 Adam Your parents were hippies. Listen, you're going to be pregnant in six months with your love of Stevie Ray Vaughn.

30:50 Caller No way. I stay completely away from boys. I have my life focused on making music and doing good.

30:57 Drew You're fat.

30:58 Caller All right. What?

30:59 Adam All right, baby. That's great. Thanks for calling. Let me ask you guys this. I was trying to get an answer to this question at the office today. You know how there are bands that cool people say they like?

31:13 Drew Yeah.

31:13 Adam You know when we have a cool band in here and we ask them what bands they like, they'll never give you a band that you've ever heard of?

31:18 Drew Right.

31:19 Adam Because it makes you cool. Then there are bands that you need to like that make you cool. When someone asks you who you're listening to or who you're influenced by, you tell them and they can't question you on it because they don't listen to this person. They've just heard of this person and they can't never question you on it. I've decided in the 1970s, we decided in the office it was Lou Reed. Lou Reed was the guy to say you were into, that made you cool, that no one could ever question you on. In the 1990s, Radiohead was the band to say you were into, that made you cool, that no one really questioned you too much on. Radiohead has gotten more popular in the last couple of years, but go back about three or four years, tell people you're into Radiohead and they just thought you were cool and they couldn't question you on it. Who was it in the 1980s? Was it REM.? Early, think about it, REM got sort of famous toward the later part of the 80s. You know, early mid 80s. Let's say REM would have done that. Erasure. You idiot.

32:22 Drew The Cure.

32:23 Adam The Cure? No.

32:24 Drew No, because they got too big. They got too big. Yeah, the early Cure.

32:27 Adam I don't know. I don't know. Too many people. You see, people, they have to be like Lou Reed, where people have heard of Lou Reed in the Velvet Underground, whatever. They just can't name any albums and have never seen them.

32:40 Drew In the 80s, it was super alternative, would have been like Bow Wow Wow or Nina Hagen or something.

32:46 Adam Still heard of.

32:48 Drew Really?

32:48 Adam I think. All right. All right. I'm looking at a video of Fidel Castro right now and talking to Wayne, who's 15. Wayne?

32:57 Caller Hi. Yeah. I got like this girl a couple of days ago. She, I don't know if she was hitting me or nothing, but I think she was. But I in the past have had problems with girls and like things I say, and I'm just trying to have to screw this one up.

33:13 Adam You think this girl likes you?

33:15 Caller I think she does, but I'm not sure. Cause she asked me a lot of personal questions. And I'm kind of just wondering what I should say not to screw it up.

33:23 Drew I understand. Was she at school?

33:25 Caller Yeah.

33:25 Drew And you just met at a class or something?

33:28 Caller No, I met her on the bus.

33:29 Drew The bus going to school?

33:30 Caller No, on the way home.

33:31 Drew Do you see her every day?

33:33 Caller Yeah, pretty much.

33:35 Drew Okay.

33:36 Adam You ride the bus with her every day?

33:38 Caller It all depends on my schedule.

33:40 Drew Why don't you keep making sure you're on the bus at the same time, and just keep a conversation going. Just start asking her some personal questions.

33:46 Caller Okay.

33:47 Adam Yeah, like the douche. What do you like? Solid movement.

33:51 Drew What do you think of pop culture?

33:53 Adam Yeah. Can you sit down next to her on the bus?

33:58 Caller I don't know. The bus is always huge crowded. It's way overfilled.

34:02 Adam Yeah. But let me explain something. Drew, you remember these days when you had to do a little angling to catch a fish. You knew when she was coming in, you could spot her coming the other way down the sidewalk. You make a little small talk with somebody and start to enter the bus as she's walking on to the bus. Absolutely.

34:23 Drew Then you freak when she sits down next to somebody.

34:25 Adam Right.

34:26 Drew Because there's nowhere for you to go.

34:27 Adam Right. Or you do that thing where you get on the bus early, sit there and put your backpack on the seat next to it. Fumble with it, but keep an eye up. When she looks up, then you slide the backpack off.

34:40 Drew Here's my movement. You shoo away 12 people, then she walks up and walks right past. Then you don't say anything.

34:45 Adam Well, that's bound to happen too. But at least you tried, and that's what Wayne needs to do. Joe? Joe?

34:56 Drew Joe from Saratoga?

34:57 Caller Hello?

34:58 Drew Yeah.

34:58 Caller Yeah. My name is Joe. All right.

35:01 Adam OK, Joe.

35:02 Caller Yeah. My question is about recycling.

35:05 Caller My grandma has been telling me it's BS for years.

35:08 Caller My teacher gets pissed off every time I tell him I'm not going to recycle.

35:12 Drew Yeah. What makes her think it's such BS?

35:15 Well, I mean, she says, Oh, why should other people make money off my recycling crap?

35:21 Drew So she objects the fact that anyone should run a business in helping the environment. Yeah.

35:27 Adam Why does she want to be paid off for her cans and bottles?

35:31 Caller I don't know.

35:32 Adam OK. Well, your grandmother's no genius, is she?

35:35 Caller She's bright.

35:36 Adam Bright?

35:37 Caller Yeah, she's a doctor.

35:38 Adam Oh, really?

35:38 Caller Yeah.

35:39 Adam And she talks in that crazy grandma voice?

35:41 Caller Uh-huh.

35:42 Drew What kind of doctor does she do?

35:43 Caller What? I think she's an X-ray or, yeah, well, that's what she tells me.

35:50 Adam Well, you know, everyone who works at a hospital is not a doctor, though, you know?

35:53 Yeah.

35:54 OK.

35:55 Adam I'd like to look into this, but there's no time. Hey, Joe?

35:59 Yeah.

35:59 Let's heal some babies!

36:00 Adam Yeah, you got to have bigger fish to fry than the recycling, don't you? Just recycle. Just recycle? Yeah, that's fine. OK, buddy?

36:08 Drew Couldn't hurt.

36:09 Adam Couldn't hurt, as they say. Yeah, and I'd like to say, OK, buddy?

36:13 Drew All right. All right.

36:14 Adam Where's Saratoga?

36:15 Drew I have no idea. Florida?

36:17 Adam It sounds like Florida, but I'm thinking of Saratoga. That sounds like Sarasota. Where's Saratoga, Joe? Oh, man. The one piece of information we wanted to get out of them. It's in Florida? Anderson says Florida. Now I know. Now I know it's not in Florida. There's definitely a Saratoga Florida. All right. But here's the problem. There's maybe 15 Saratogas, and there's 25 Salems. And we got to just put an end to this. Drew and I almost got in a fistfight over Minnesota at Rochester.

36:48 Drew Oh, yeah.

36:50 Adam We're on a plane. I was yelling Rochester's that way. He was saying Rochester's this way. Turns out I was talking about Rochester, New York, and he was talking about Rochester. Was it Rochester? Rod?

37:01 Drew No, Rochester.

37:01 Adam Rochester. He was talking about Rochester, Minnesota. And we really, we almost, I almost pushed his head to the emergency door.

37:10 Drew We pulled up maps.

37:11 Adam Pulled up maps. I was drunk. I started flailing on him. And we're talking about, I mean, we were both right, my point. How many do we need? Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Certainly, we couldn't be the first person who's confused by this. Teresa?

37:25 Drew Yes.

37:26 Adam You're 30?

37:27 Caller Yes.

37:28 Adam I'm watching Fidel Castro in an army outfit.

37:31 Drew That's all he wears.

37:33 Adam Just to address Drew and his family.

37:37 Caller Very interesting.

37:38 Adam Yeah.

37:38 Drew It was very interesting. There's a comedy clip about to come up here.

37:42 Adam All right. One of the kids wets themselves or what happens? Just leave it, Drew. Go ahead, Teresa.

37:49 Okay. Well, I think the phone screener might have answered my question. I wanted to know if it's possible for a woman to squirt cum and he says, only out of my mouth.

37:57 Drew Oh, my God. I swear to become abusive.

38:01 Adam Hey, you notice that Castro is starting to look like Tommy Chong.

38:05 Drew Oh, yeah. Very definitely.

38:07 Adam Yeah. Yeah, it is possible.

38:11 Drew Some women do and some women do all the time, some women do sometime, and some women never do and it's perfectly normal. Strangely, women have a lot of embarrassment about this and don't talk about it, but it's very common. Here's the comedy.

38:24 Adam All right.

38:25 Because it happened with my boyfriend and he thought I peed on him.

38:28 Drew Yeah, there is that too. That's my family leaving Castro.

38:32 But it didn't smell like there.

38:34 Drew No, there is orgasmic incontinence, but more often than not, it's just a glandular debris and sort of the same kind of fluid that a man would emit from different glands around the area.

38:45 It can squirt up, right?

38:47 Adam How high up? If you're lying on your back, what's it do? Does it go straight up?

38:50 Look at his face, it's three inches away. I mean, it squirted him in the eye and he freaked.

38:54 Adam Well, is that, oh, so is that up or out?

38:57 Well, I wasn't watching. I wouldn't, my head wasn't at that end.

39:01 Drew Most guys are impressed when they can produce something.

39:03 Adam Yeah.

39:04 Drew They should feel good about it.

39:05 Adam Did it hurt? Yeah.

39:06 Drew It won't hurt him, it won't hurt you.

39:08 Adam So, according to the videotape, Drew's wife and daughter had an ass full of Fidel and decided to hit the road, probably do some shopping.

39:18 Drew Then I took the other kids out.

39:20 Adam Oh, you did?

39:20 Drew They were going nuts. This is an hour and a half in.

39:23 Adam Oh, this is?

39:24 Drew Hour and a half.

39:24 Adam Yeah, they got bored of hearing Fidel talk about his crazy stories, about his, he gets real plans for the revolution.

39:31 Drew Here's the comic, that's the sleep.

39:32 Adam People sleeping.

39:33 Drew Sleep.

39:34 Adam Of course.

39:35 Drew Wait, watch, watch this.

39:36 Adam Well, you think an eight-year-old wants to hear Fidel Castro? Of course. It's just passed out.

39:44 Drew Wait, it gets better.

39:46 Adam Drew's painting around, I want you to picture this. Drew has a video camera on Fidel Castro in one of these, you know, these generic halls that they have, these international meetings.

40:02 Drew Communists have, especially.

40:03 Adam Yeah, Communists have. You see them on like CNN and C-SPAN and stuff. And they also kind of look like those NATO rooms. It's like a bunch of, it's sort of a half circle. Guy stands in front, holds five, 600 people, and everyone sits there with a weird sort of desk chair thing and a half circle around. A microphone and a little ear plug, a little earpiece that translates everything. Castro's on stage talking about Communism and how they're just moments away from taking over the world with this. Meanwhile, Drew pans around with the camera and every kid in the place is sawing logs. And not, you know, when you get older, you learn to fall asleep tactfully, where you still kind of look like you're paying attention. But not this. Kids curled up in a fetal position on the desk.

40:52 Drew Stroomed all over the place.

40:53 Adam Stroomed about. It was really like there was some sort of horrible train rack and bodies were just thrown everywhere.

41:00 Drew Somebody said he was talking to us as though we weren't there. So we started behaving like he couldn't see us.

41:05 Adam Right.

41:06 Drew It was crazy.

41:07 Adam All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. I'm being amused by Drew's videotape of his vacation to South America and we'll be back after this.

41:20 Caller We'll be right back. Call on the 1-800-LOVE-191.

41:56 Adam Hey, y'all, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. All right. We'll get back to the phones. Drew, didn't we just take a female orgasmic incontinence call?

42:10 Drew I thought this might be an interesting follow-up on that.

42:12 Adam Okay. We got a little theme going here.

42:15 Hi.

42:15 Caller Hi.

42:17 I've been listening to you guys for about a month, and I've learned an awful lot. I'm 28 years old. I've been in some relationships, but sex has never really been my thing. I've always been real scared of sex. I've met this amazing man. He's real experienced sexually. We're doing amazing things together. Dr. Drew was talking about something called a pushing orgasm or something like that. A pushing orgasm? I've never had an orgasm with another person before. I'd only had one with myself. It's really hard for me to have one with a man, obviously, until now. Now, last night, he was using his hand and he was doing all this stuff. He was talking to me and it's been going on for a short time. I had an orgasm but when I was driving home, my pants were wet. Now, it wasn't just like wet. It seemed like they were really wet. I sort of blew it off. He didn't say anything to me. I figured if I would have peed on his hand, he would have told me. So, tonight, we're doing the same kind of thing. He's doing the hand thing and oral sex and I'm pushing.

43:35 Adam Baby came out.

43:36 I'm contracting and I'm pushing. The same kind of wetness happened and my sheet was all wet. He didn't say anything and when we were done, I asked him, I said, honey, I'm really embarrassed to say this. I'm really humiliated, but I think I peed on your hand. He goes, it's not pee, honey. I go, no, I think it's pee. He smelled the sheets on the bed and everything. He's like, it's not pee. It's pee, Adam.

44:04 Drew Well, there is such a thing as peeing during orgasm, but more often than not, it's not.

44:09 But I've never had orgasms before until now.

44:12 Drew But I just have this thing that you said.

44:13 Well, now you're having them.

44:14 Drew The what?

44:14 And it's working.

44:15 Drew The pushing thing?

44:16 You said this pushing thing.

44:17 Drew You did once. Talk about pushing out an orgasm.

44:19 Adam Okay.

44:20 Drew You said that was your technique, your patented technique.

44:22 Adam Thank you.

44:23 But I think pee, a little not, I'm not going to the bathroom, but I think there's like something coming, a little pee coming out of me.

44:30 Drew There's a couple of things here. Hang on, Kathy.

44:31 Adam What's this guy do for a living?

44:33 He's actually, he's a brick, he's in masonry, he's a bricklayer, but he was in the army for 10 years. He just recently got out of the army.

44:41 Adam I smelled construction on this dude. You know why? Because construction dude don't mind getting his hands dirty. This guy's working with lime and mortar all day long. He don't mind a little push-gush on him when he's down there at work.

44:56 Drew Push-gush. Then the little animalistic move.

45:01 He treats me like no man's ever treated me physically.

45:05 Adam All right. Listen, babe. Hey, screwball, were you on drugs at some point?

45:11 God, no.

45:11 Drew Medication, you mean?

45:13 Well, I've had several back surgeries. I thought my orgasm problem was nerve damage, but it's not because I'm having them now.

45:21 Adam All right.

45:22 Drew You don't take Vicodin?

45:24 I what? No.

45:25 I did. I have.

45:27 I'm not right now.

45:27 Adam You ever get strung out on painkillers?

45:30 No.

45:30 Adam You never been strung out on it?

45:31 I'm taking them when I have a flare-up.

45:34 Adam You've never been strung-

45:35 They're only as prescribed.

45:36 Adam Shut up. You've never been strung out on anything?

45:38 No.

45:39 Adam Okay. Your dad molest you?

45:41 Why are you asking me that?

45:42 Drew Because you-

45:42 Adam You got that fine.

45:43 Drew Yeah.

45:44 Because what?

45:45 Adam Little molestation in the past?

45:47 Drew The energy, you're totally flipped out about your function of your genitalia.

45:52 You know why? Because I'm nervous. I'm so nervous and because I've never had an orgasm before.

45:57 Adam Anybody molest you?

46:01 I had a problem when I was 10 years old.

46:03 Adam All right. Who did that?

46:06 My butler.

46:07 Adam Oh, your brother?

46:08 Caller Your brother?

46:10 Drew Butler.

46:11 Adam Butler?

46:12 Butler.

46:12 Adam Alfred did this? You had a butler?

46:16 Drew Mr. Winston.

46:17 Yeah. His name was Derek.

46:19 Adam You had a butler named Derek?

46:22 Derek.

46:23 Adam Okay. Hold on, baby. You live in Canoga Park. They outlawed butlers in Canoga Park like 30 years ago.

46:29 I live in Canoga Park. I have detached from my family.

46:32 Adam Oh, they're back East?

46:34 My family is very big in the movie business.

46:36 Adam Okay. All right, baby. Are they from the East Coast?

46:40 No. My dad's chairman of a major studio.

46:42 Adam All right, baby.

46:44 Obviously, I'm saying too much. I'm on the radio.

46:47 Adam Okay. All right.

46:47 I peed on your hand.

46:49 Adam Okay, baby.

46:50 Drew Hold on. Let's keep running. Keep letting her talk. Well, no.

46:53 Adam We got to go to break.

46:54 Drew Oh, we do. Let's come back to Catherine.

46:56 Adam All right. Listen, I like the butler thing.

46:59 Drew It's fascinating.

47:00 Adam And the butler giving her the goose, and a butler named Derek. I mean, don't you have to change your name to Holmes or something?

47:07 Drew Movie business.

47:07 Adam Alfred. Movie.

47:08 Drew LR.

47:10 Adam Okay. Well, Jeeves.

47:13 Drew All right.

47:13 Adam We'll get back to this. I got to sort through this after this.

47:17 Caller All right, guys.

47:18 Drew Bottom line.

47:18 Caller Here's the deal.

47:19 Looking to hook up. Sick of wasting time with the wrong person.

47:22 Caller One call is all you need to make.

47:23 Call the Dateline. The Dateline. 877-889-DATE.

47:30 Caller Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

47:32 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

47:36 Caller We'll be right back.

48:12 Adam Hello, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That is Dr. Drew. And we got a nice long run of Loveline here. We got ourselves a nice block of like 20-something minutes to go here. So uninterrupted. So, Catherine.

48:27 Adam, can I ask you one thing?

48:29 Adam Yeah.

48:29 Or tell you one thing? And I'm really sorry about this. I don't know why I did it, but I have an instinct. I do have an opiate problem. I'm addicted to loratab.

48:39 Drew All right. Well, there you go.

48:41 But I've also had many back surgeries.

48:43 Drew All right. But listen. Okay. Back surgeries, notwithstanding, you need to get off the loratab. You're an opiate addict. And the back pain will not... I can't tell you how many people I treat.

48:56 But the pain is horrible.

48:57 Drew Catherine, probably one a day that people come in with the overwhelming back pain, and magically the pain gets a hell of a lot better when we get them off the opiates. You've got to get off the opiates. You're an opiate addict. It needs to be done.

49:08 I have done that. I went to Exodus. I went to Betty Ford. I went to the Daniel Freeman Pain Clinic. I lived there for six weeks.

49:17 Drew Well, not that. But how did you do when you were at... Where did you say you were? Tarzana? Exodus. Exodus. How did you do at Exodus?

49:23 I did really well. But then once I go back to work and...

49:26 Drew Well, there you go. But the pain is magically better when you go back to work. And if you're not working... First of all, you shouldn't go back to work for at least six months. You should be in a sober living. You should be working on your recovery and then consider going back to work.

49:38 I just got out of a sober living. I was at this place... I don't want to say the name, but I just got out of there. I was there for eight months.

49:44 Drew But you see how you do well when you're there.

49:46 Yeah, but my doctor had me on six... I'm allotted six more to have a day.

49:51 Drew No. Well, you're not going to stay sober if you're on any of those.

49:54 Adam Hey, listen. And what about doing some work on the guy who molested you, the butler who molested you? I mean, some therapy.

50:03 I mean, what can I do about it? It happened, you know?

50:05 Adam Well, you do a little therapy.

50:06 Drew Have you been seeing therapists throughout the treatment?

50:09 Well, I mean, I have counselors, chemical dependency counselors.

50:13 Drew Are you a dual diagnosis?

50:14 No.

50:15 Drew No, you're just an opiate addict.

50:17 I'm definitely just an opiate addict.

50:19 Adam How about, I mean, just how about something for being molested when you're a ten? You know, forget about the opiates.

50:25 Drew You know what? I've got to...

50:26 Dr. Drew, have you ever heard of the school called Cascade?

50:30 Drew No, I'm not. But listen, I've got a good referral for you. You stay on the line. I've got somebody I think would work for you, OK?

50:35 Adam All right.

50:35 Drew I do.

50:37 Adam Listen, and thanks for being straight with us.

50:40 Drew Yeah.

50:41 Adam I got two things.

50:43 Drew But that's why she can't orgasm. She doesn't have opiates. You can't orgasm well when you're on opiates or normally.

50:47 Adam Well, she can pee pretty good.

50:48 I think I peed on your hand.

50:52 Adam I heard ten words out of her and I said, opiates or just strung out. I meant strung out. I didn't get booze or weed. I got drugs like heroin is what I was getting. Is opiate a whole lot different than the heroin?

51:07 Drew No, same thing.

51:07 Adam Because I got the heroin sound from her and then I got some molestation.

51:12 Drew She may have been a heroin at one time. You want to ask her?

51:15 Adam No, I don't know. Listen, I'm tired of being right, Drew. I'm right so much it hurts. Okay? All right. Hey, Allison?

51:25 Caller Yes.

51:25 Adam You're 20?

51:26 Caller Yes.

51:27 Adam You want to know why Drew always asks where caller's dads are?

51:30 Caller Yeah.

51:31 Adam I always ask that.

51:32 Well, yeah, you both do.

51:34 Adam All right. Well, it's just it's relevant. When did your dad rape you? Yeah, that's my usual call.

51:39 Oh, yeah.

51:40 Adam Yeah, it just makes a difference. We can tell where people are.

51:44 Okay. Well, then how come like when parents get divorced or whatever, how come like a nine times out of ten, they always live with their mom? Like if a dad is so important and like that aspect, why do they always go with their mom?

51:58 Drew Because mom is more important. What we ask is what's your relationship like with your dad? What's happened with him? Where's he gone? Dad, they could live with the mom but see the dad three days out of the week.

52:07 Adam Right.

52:07 Drew I mean, that could certainly happen and that's fine.

52:10 Adam You don't have to live with him. It'd be nice, but in this day and age, I think it's asking a lot. You have to live with your parents. But as long as you're on good terms with dad, you're okay, especially as a girl. If you're on bad terms with dad as a girl, there's trouble.

52:25 Drew Or if dad abandoned the family, it has an irrelevant.

52:28 Adam Yeah. Why? Where's your dad?

52:30 Oh, my dad is like my best friend. My parents actually were divorced and we ended up living with my dad. Good.

52:36 Drew But that usually means that when that happens, I mean, mom is usually very troubled when that's the case.

52:41 Yeah, she had some trouble.

52:42 Adam Yeah.

52:43 Drew And so that's, we know then also that that's a sign that the mom has really got problems.

52:48 Adam Okay. Well, you got it good with your dad, but now your problem is you don't got it good with your mom.

52:52 Oh, now it's great with my mom. Okay.

52:55 Drew Good.

52:55 Adam All right. You're fine, baby. Yeah.

52:58 Drew This stuff can all be healed. Maybe that's the misconception we'll have, some of them will be condemned to a life eternity of trouble. But everybody's got to be willing to work on this and work hard.

53:09 Adam Well, here's the reality is, it's like I was watching this 60 minutes the other night, and they were talking about dieters, and 95 percent of people put the weight back on. People, they drop 100 pounds, they drop 250 pounds, but 95 percent of people who lose weight put the weight back on. So it's 95 to 5 that you're going to put the weight back on. Does that mean you shouldn't do it? No. And does it mean that you're not going to be that 5 percent? No. It just means it's going to be some work. I mean, it's the same. Here's what we're saying, Drew. So many people get screwed early in life, and then they just walk through life with a limp.

53:56 Drew Yeah, not limping or crawling.

53:59 Adam Dragging their lower half. And they don't fix themselves, and they could fix themselves. And we wish they would, and we tell them to, but most people don't. Is it, can it be done? Of course it can be done. And it's not that, you know, it's a process, but it's not that big a deal. But most people won't engage in that, and therefore they don't. And so I don't hold out a lot of hope for people sometimes, Sam, even though I know it's easily, I'm not easily done, but it's a process that can be accomplished.

54:33 Drew I turned in my, I finished my first, hang on a second, Sam, I finished my first draft of my book.

54:37 Adam Yeah.

54:38 Drew And it's about how sick people are these days and what they need to do to get better and what the process is like a little bit.

54:46 Adam All right. Well, I'm not going to read it, but okay.

54:47 Drew You will. Sam, I'll put it on tape for you. I'll read it.

54:51 Adam You read it to me. Sammy27, what's up?

54:54 Caller Hey, I love you guys. I listen to you guys a lot of time. First time caller. Adam, you're cool. Drew, I got a couple of questions here.

55:01 Drew Hi, dude.

55:01 Caller A friend of mine, his name is Steve. He smokes a lot of pot, well, he doesn't smoke a lot, but he smokes pot and he starts twitching. He's also an insomniac. What could be the cause of that? Could it be serious? Could I tell him to get some help?

55:14 Drew What do you mean twitching? Describe to me what you're talking about.

55:18 Caller Like he'll just sit there and suddenly his arms will flail about, you know, or his leg will kick out or something. Or he'll just move his head, caulk his head, and wave his arms in the air real quick for no reason.

55:30 Drew Is it both arms or one arm?

55:32 Caller Both arms.

55:34 Adam You've got to watch him because this is one of these jokers who will knock over the bong and you're screwed. You know, these bongs are eight feet high and they're three quarters of an inch thick and they fall over.

55:43 Caller It's about four foot.

55:45 Adam They're four foot high and they hold 35 gallons of bong water.

55:49 Caller Three chambers.

55:50 Drew Yeah. Interesting. Does he have any other medication or any of the drugs at the time?

55:55 Caller No, he's not on any kind of medication. They're not taking any of the drugs. Just smokes out. Doesn't even drink really. I've never seen him drink even once.

56:04 Drew It may not mean anything. It sounds like something called Belismas, which is where the part of the brain called the basal ganglia doesn't work quite right. Interestingly, pot can lower seizure threshold. These could be basically seizure type phenomenon, a sort of surfacing. It probably doesn't mean a hell of a lot, but if you're being proper about this, you'd certainly have it evaluated.

56:29 Adam Maybe the guy's got something going on with his brain electrodes and he needs to get checked out.

56:35 Drew More importantly, I'd be worried that he might have someday a seizure, primary seizure disorder. In fact, particularly if he's doing a lot of drugs, it might eventually surface and he could be driving a car or something. So that's my concern.

56:45 Adam Good times. Nicole?

56:47 Caller Yeah?

56:48 Adam You're 17?

56:49 Caller Yeah.

56:49 Adam What's up?

56:51 Caller This guy I've been seeing for like six months, he won't commit to me and I don't know why.

56:56 Adam What do you mean commit?

56:57 Drew Get married?

56:58 Caller He won't like say, okay, we're boyfriend girlfriend.

57:00 Drew Well, maybe he doesn't want to be a girlfriend.

57:02 Caller Well, he keeps saying that he wants to be with me and everything, he loves me, blah, blah, blah, which pretty much, I don't know if I believe half the time, but he just doesn't want to take that extra step and put a title on us.

57:15 Adam Well, how often do you see him?

57:17 Caller Pretty much every day.

57:18 Adam Every day? He's how old?

57:20 Caller 23.

57:21 Drew Is he dating other people?

57:22 Caller No.

57:23 Drew What's with a 23-year-old dating a 17-year-old? He is a world-class dick.

57:28 Adam Yeah, it's kind of dickish behavior.

57:31 Caller Yeah.

57:32 Adam What's he doing with his life?

57:35 Caller He just graduated from college, and he's going back to school for some computer thing.

57:41 Adam Uh-huh. He's going to a four-year?

57:45 Caller No. No. It's just community.

57:47 Adam Oh, well, that's not college. Please, everyone, stop calling it college. It's confusing. Do you understand? I mean, do you understand why it's confusing? Because you go, well, he graduated college, and he's heading back now to get his master's.

58:01 Drew Yeah, you're trying to do the math. He's 23. Why is he going back? Master's? Is that right? No.

58:06 Adam No. All I'm saying is, you're picturing a guy who's wearing a cardigan sweater and a bow tie carrying a laptop and a stack of books under his arm with a handful of brille cream in his hair. And then all of a sudden you hear Junior College and the books go down to the ground and the guy picks up a hash pipe and his pants come down, his underpants hang out of the back of his pants and his hair gets all disheveled in a hacky sack and it has a goatee and a nipple piercing. You know what I'm saying? It turns into a different dude now. And it's confusing. Now we're getting a picture of this guy. Well, here's the thing. I don't understand if you guys are seeing each other. You're having sex, right?

58:52 Caller Yeah.

58:53 Adam And you weren't 16 when you met this guy, were you?

58:56 Drew No, 15.

58:58 Caller We've known Joe for like five years.

59:00 Adam Oh, that's weird.

59:02 Drew You were 13, he was 18?

59:04 Caller Yeah.

59:05 Drew Well, he's probably has other children.

59:07 Caller Well, I mean, he was in college, so we really didn't do anything.

59:12 Caller How'd you meet?

59:14 Drew How'd you meet?

59:16 Caller He lived down the street from me.

59:18 Drew All right, this guy is like a problem.

59:20 Adam Still living at home?

59:21 Caller Yeah.

59:22 Drew He is.

59:22 Adam This guy's an idiot.

59:23 Drew He's more than an idiot. The reason you want to have a girlfriend is he needs another 13 year old.

59:27 Adam Why do you need this guy? What's so great about this guy?

59:31 Drew He was my first. I love him.

59:33 Adam We got time to test it. What's up?

59:35 Drew He was my first.

59:36 Adam Can't you find a decent guy?

59:38 Caller Well, I mean, I've got, you're probably going to say something, but I've got a two year old daughter. So it's not his, but he's really good with her.

59:50 Drew How old was the guy who impregnated you when you were 14?

59:54 Caller He was 15.

59:57 Adam Really? You know, Carmo came out of my penis at 15. It wasn't semen.

1:00:04 Drew Wasn't Taffy?

1:00:05 Adam No, I think it was Carmo. Taffy came out of my ass. 15, knocking somebody out. Wow, he's really good with the two year old.

1:00:15 Yeah.

1:00:17 Drew Well, what am I doing to the two year old?

1:00:19 Adam What do you mean? I mean, he doesn't eat the two year old. What's he doing? He doesn't want to be your girl. He won't even commit to being your girlfriend. I mean, boyfriend. All right. I don't know. Where are you living at home?

1:00:30 Caller Yeah.

1:00:31 Adam Do you need a guy right now? I mean, can you focus on you and your two year old and making a life?

1:00:37 Caller No, I have been doing that.

1:00:38 Adam Because this guy, the two year old is going to get attached to this joker who doesn't want a commitment.

1:00:44 Caller Yeah.

1:00:45 Adam And that's bad.

1:00:46 Drew That's going to be real bad for her. And I know she already is though.

1:00:49 Adam Right. Okay. Listen, Nicole. You tell this guy you're going to need a label on this relationship.

1:00:58 Caller I told him that so many times though.

1:01:00 Adam Okay and then you move on. Yep. He's an idiot. He's going to junior college. He's living at home and he's 23 and he's dating a 17 year old that by the way is known for five years so it makes it extra weird. Just do it and don't get pregnant again would you?

1:01:15 Caller No I don't plan on it.

1:01:16 Adam Okay you sound smart.

1:01:18 Drew What are you using for contraceptives?

1:01:20 Caller Excuse me?

1:01:21 Drew Contraception? What are you using?

1:01:23 Caller Condoms and birth control.

1:01:25 Drew What kind of birth control?

1:01:26 Caller Yeah.

1:01:26 Caller What kind?

1:01:28 Caller Merced.

1:01:29 Drew Okay.

1:01:29 Caller I've been on that for like two years.

1:01:31 Adam Alright baby.

1:01:32 Okay.

1:01:32 Adam Alright screw this guy. Not literally. Dump him.

1:01:37 Okay.

1:01:39 Adam Let's talk to Rachel.

1:01:40 Drew Speaking of contraception, you know they finally now have transdermal contraceptive patches. One a week.

1:01:45 Adam Transdermal means sticks on the skin?

1:01:47 Drew Yep. Once a week.

1:01:48 Adam Stick a patch?

1:01:49 Yep.

1:01:51 Drew Ortho Evra.

1:01:52 Adam You know it's funny. The sticker's a baby with a slash going through it.

1:01:57 Drew That's what it says on the outside of the patch?

1:01:58 Adam It says on the sticker. Yeah.

1:02:00 Drew The Gerber baby? Gerber baby face?

1:02:02 Adam Well you can get different ones. You can get the Canadian flag. I've seen all different ones. I've seen the Rams helmet on them.

1:02:10 Drew You know there's something that people are into these tattoos. Just make the contraceptive patch like a cool tattoo.

1:02:15 Adam You see that contraceptive patch? You know that chick's open for business by the way. Where do you put it? On your forehead?

1:02:24 Drew On chest, abdomen, back, arm.

1:02:25 Adam You put it over your vagina?

1:02:27 Drew Yeah.

1:02:29 Adam There's no agent in it at all. Just actually blocks the penis from getting into the vagina.

1:02:33 Drew Works beautifully.

1:02:34 Adam Hey Rachel, what's up?

1:02:36 Caller Hi Adam. Hi Dr. Drew.

1:02:38 Adam Hi Rachel.

1:02:39 Caller Thank you for a very entertaining and informative show.

1:02:41 Adam Well thanks for letting me.

1:02:42 Caller Love your show.

1:02:43 Adam Thanks. What's up?

1:02:44 Caller Well I just had an idea for Adam and this is my idea. I think we should stamp out Reckless Procreation.

1:02:51 Adam Yes.

1:02:51 Caller It's a big problem.

1:02:52 Drew Reckless Procreation. I like that. It rolls off the tongue. Poetic.

1:02:55 Caller That's my little thing I came up with.

1:02:57 Drew Nice.

1:02:58 Caller I used to work at Child Protective Services for about 11 years. I was a receptionist there so I thought everything at my window. I just thought maybe we could get together a sterilization SWAT team.

1:03:12 Drew Adam is going to use the military, actually.

1:03:14 Caller I know, but what I'm thinking is there might be a nice Victorian house in the neighborhood somewhere we could save that might have glass doorknobs and some really nice details. That way we won't take out the whole neighborhood.

1:03:25 Drew Oh, he's afraid your military team is going to take out the nice houses and stuff.

1:03:29 Caller Yeah, that we could renovate. And we gentrify the neighborhood, you know.

1:03:33 Adam Oh, I mean when I call a strike in, do my carpet bombing.

1:03:38 Caller You know, you could use a neutron bomb, that might work, but then you might get innocent people.

1:03:42 Adam Well, listen, I am, I believe, and I know you must know from working at the Child Protective Services, I mean, it must have just broken your heart to see the-

1:03:55 Caller A two-month-old in the body-cast, yeah, that was pretty bad.

1:03:58 Adam But what about, what about this? And obviously, that's sad enough, but what kills you is these sort of junky hillbillies who come in there and they got five kids.

1:04:12 Caller Yeah.

1:04:12 Adam You know, not the one that they're abusing, the five and the chicks pregnant.

1:04:16 Caller And a combined IQ of a hundred.

1:04:18 Adam Yeah. I've, you know, I've said this many, many, many times, but as you know, this show's just pretty much, pretty much turned into me repeating things I've said many, many, many times, including the statement, I've said this many, many, many times. Coincidentally, I've just said three times now, Drew, to say it again.

1:04:36 Drew You've said it many, many, many times.

1:04:37 Adam Thank you. The world could be...

1:04:39 Drew To the tune of many times.

1:04:40 Adam I could cure the world. Just stop having troublemakers procreating.

1:04:45 Caller Oh, yes.

1:04:45 Adam It'll be very easy.

1:04:46 Caller Oh, yes.

1:04:47 Adam Everybody, it's very easy.

1:04:50 Caller It resonates with me, my brother, let me tell you.

1:04:52 Adam Thank you. I mean, I've seen Drew's three kids, and I know we don't have to worry about them. They just don't. And people love to break this down behind economic lines and color lines. Untrue. I don't care what color you are, and I don't care how much money you make. If you can provide a loving environment for your kids and take care, and the money factor's in, you got to put food on the plate and dress the kids and have them taken care of medically and all that stuff. If you can take care of your kids and love your kids, you can have your kids, and then we will live in a utopia without frivolous lawsuits, without having to set the car alarm, without low jack, without those steel screens, without the liquor stores with the 3-inch thick plexiglass that will sustain a shotgun blast. Think about the life, everybody. Think about going through the airport without going through the metal detector. Think about leaving the keys on the seat of the car as you leave it on the street at night. Think of the utopia that we would live in if screwballs stopped having kids and screwing them up and turning them into drug addicts, criminals, and bilkers of the system. Because everybody, like I said, picture that family, you know, that loving family, and then picture their kids. We got to worry about them? Oh yeah, once in a while you get a bad scene, you get a little white collar crime going. So some guy embezzles some money from the bank he worked with. BFD. You get rid of all the gangs, all the drive-bys, all the random, all the random street crime, you close up the prisons, you shut up the court systems because you don't have these freaks that are on their fifteenth lawsuit in the last fourteen months. You have good decent people with a nice moral foundation. I'm telling you it is one percent of this country that's effing it for all of us. And we won't do a thing. The government won't stand up. Now you can be as poor as you want, as dumb as you want, as strung out as you want, and have as many kids as you want.

1:07:16 Drew What a bunch of pussies.

1:07:17 Adam We won't say a god damn thing about it because we're scared assless.

1:07:24 Drew Alright, we're going to break.

1:07:25 Adam Oh yeah? I can do another five minutes on it. What else do you want to do to fix this country? What else? You want to talk about NAFTA? Do you want to talk about building more prisons? Do you want to talk about pollution controls? Do you want to just keep talking about every individual topic? Or do we want to talk about the one topic that's going to impact all of these topics favorably? The one that will get rid of all of it? Oh, start talking about crimes. Start talking about cops. Start talking about prisons. Start talking about beefing up the borders. Start talking about drugs and how we're going to do away with the guys that are growing at Poppy and South America and all that stuff. No, start talking about F'd up people having F'd up kids and we'll do away with all of it. It's the most obvious equation in the world. Can we take a little break? We'll be right back.

1:08:19 Caller Loveline, Loveline, we'll be right back.

1:08:57 Adam Hey, everybody, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Little system of a down for you. They're going to be in here on Thursday. And we're always glad to see those guys.

1:09:10 Drew So we're going to dinner with John.

1:09:11 Adam Yeah. Yeah, so I think we're going to go out for some Armenian food with those guys on Thursday night. Love that. Love that stuff.

1:09:34 Drew We've been talking about this for two years.

1:09:37 Adam Let me explain Armenian food to a lot of people. They kill like five animals, they roast it and they just put a ton of onions on it, and then you sit there and eat it with pita bread. While the waiter tries to sell you on some yogurt based soft drink. Dog, it is kachush. It's delicious. You have it with your shawarma. You have it with your shawarma. What's the kachush? It's great. It's refreshing. Always watch out for refreshing. My grandfather used to call buttermilk refreshing. Nothing. My grandfather said nothing quenches the thirst. Yeah, quenches the thirst means you have a sip, you spit it out, you don't want anymore. You're not wanting anymore. It doesn't mean your thirst has been quenched. You just had enough of that crap. What is it? It is goat milk, yogurt, raw yogurt, plain yogurt, lemon and vinegar and paprika. You guys don't got Pepsi? No, it is Cushion. It's yogurt based. I got news for all the countries in the world that are trying to do their own soft drinks. Just drink the goddamn Coke and the Pepsi. Your yogurt based stuff ain't cutting it. Mexico, they got this rice stuff.

1:10:52 Drew What's the milk drink they got? The rice milk?

1:10:54 Adam That's a co-chata.

1:10:58 Drew When Susan was pregnant with triplets, every night she had a craving for horchata.

1:11:02 Adam Well, at least the Mexicans are smart that they dump tons and tons of sugar and then cinnamon in it and then you can't really tell. But here's the deal. If you took a ton of sugar and a ton of cinnamon and just put it in regular milk, it would be better than a rice milk crap. Okay, so we'll go out for going for some Armenian food.

1:11:21 Caller For a horse-rush.

1:11:23 Adam It's quenching.

1:11:25 Drew No, no.

1:11:26 Adam Stephanie, you're 17.

1:11:29 Caller Yeah.

1:11:29 Adam What's up?

1:11:31 Caller Well, like last year in April, I started fooling around with this guy who lives across the street from me. And like every time I tried to like, you know, like leave, like get him to leave me alone, like he'd come back and he'd be like, oh, I want you, you know.

1:11:49 Drew So he's into you too much, huh?

1:11:50 Caller Huh?

1:11:51 Drew He's really into you now.

1:11:52 Caller Yeah. And like, and like I have a boyfriend and like, I don't know, every time, like, it's been with like, I've had like three boyfriends since like we started fooling around and like I keep seeming to like cheat on them with him and like I keep saying, you know, just leave me alone, just leave me alone, you know.

1:12:09 Adam How old is he? How old is he?

1:12:13 Caller He's 19.

1:12:14 Adam Well, but you're not leaving him alone. Or he's not leaving you alone.

1:12:18 Caller Yeah, he's not leaving me alone.

1:12:19 Adam Yeah, but you're cheating with him.

1:12:22 Caller Well, it's not like I have a-

1:12:23 Drew Randomly reinforced behaviors cannot be extinguished. That's a conditioning paradigm in mammals.

1:12:30 Adam She has no idea what she's talking about.

1:12:32 Drew In other words, when the- There's a famous study done by behavioral scientists. Right. I'm not finding words tonight. Where they randomly would sort of drop food down to a pigeon. And the behaviors that they'd initiate in order to get the food in the first place, the food randomly reinforce these behaviors. Those behaviors became fixed.

1:12:55 Adam So what Drew is saying is if this guy comes over and gets some off you and then comes over ten times in a row and gets nothing and then gets some on the eleventh time and then comes over five times in a row and gets something and then goes a month without it, it's so random but it makes him think that this time something could happen.

1:13:20 Drew You'd be much better off just being with him fifteen times in a row and then cutting him off. That's a behavior.

1:13:27 Adam Then taking those fifteen times and spreading them out over a thousand visits. Yeah that would keep me coming too. Well what are you doing with him? You're cheating on your boyfriends with him right?

1:13:41 Caller Like I haven't done anything with him since October.

1:13:44 Drew Well here's what you got to do.

1:13:45 Adam Are you having sex with him?

1:13:47 Caller Yeah.

1:13:49 Adam And like I said, when you have a boyfriend?

1:13:52 Caller Yeah.

1:13:53 Adam What's up baby?

1:13:54 Drew She gets abusive boyfriends that she gets pissed off with.

1:13:57 Caller Well see I haven't done anything with him since October.

1:14:01 Drew Yeah well you got to make it clear to him it's never going to happen again and cease contact with him and it will die off but it will take a while. If you have sex with him.

1:14:08 Caller Because he lives like right across from me.

1:14:09 Drew Well that's the way it goes. If you have sex with him again, expect him to keep coming back.

1:14:13 Caller Okay.

1:14:14 Adam Okay so he can come over every day for five months and nothing can happen and then.

1:14:19 Drew All of a sudden.

1:14:20 Adam Something happens and now you just bought yourself another five months.

1:14:23 Drew You bought yourself ten months.

1:14:24 Adam Right. You understand? So if you mean it and I'm not so sure you do because something ends up happening. But if you really mean it you got to act that way. And don't even discuss it with him. Just he's gone.

1:14:39 Drew It's a behavioral thing.

1:14:40 Caller Yeah, because I tell him I was like, you know.

1:14:42 Drew Time out for him.

1:14:44 Adam Just don't do it. Because I want to talk to this submissive dominatrix thing over here. Michelle, you're 16?

1:14:52 Caller Yeah.

1:14:53 Adam You're into the Dom sub?

1:14:55 Caller Yeah.

1:14:55 Adam That's Domination Submission?

1:14:58 Caller Yeah.

1:14:58 Adam All right. You're into that?

1:15:01 Caller Yeah. And now you're going to talk to me like I'm weird because of it, huh?

1:15:04 Adam Yeah.

1:15:05 Caller Yeah.

1:15:05 Adam Well, I usually talk to people because they're like they're weird because they call the show.

1:15:09 Caller Yeah. Okay.

1:15:09 Adam And now you're in a super sub weird group of the Dom sub folks.

1:15:14 Caller Okay. I want to know.

1:15:15 Drew Sub weird Dom sub.

1:15:16 Adam That's right.

1:15:18 Caller I want to know if it tells you that I like it this early in life because.

1:15:22 Drew It means something.

1:15:24 Caller Yeah.

1:15:24 Adam Where do you think it came from?

1:15:26 Caller I don't know. I mean, well, I learned about it off the Internet.

1:15:30 Adam No. Yeah. But why were you interested in it, you think?

1:15:35 Caller I don't know. I really don't.

1:15:37 Adam Anyone was anyone rough with you growing up?

1:15:41 Caller I was raped when I was four years old.

1:15:42 Drew Yeah. Well, that will set the stage. Gee, what would that have to do? No, that would set the stage. And then to my guess, you'd add a little sprinkling of physical abuse in there.

1:15:53 Adam No, really. Well, it's funny, but you don't say molested at four. You say raped.

1:15:59 Drew Yeah.

1:15:59 Adam Is there a difference? I mean, did somebody hurt you?

1:16:04 Caller He, well.

1:16:05 Drew I guess it was a violent event.

1:16:07 Caller I didn't know what was going on. I just figured out that I was raped in like three or four years ago. And like, because I thought he was playing a game with me. I thought this was what friends were supposed to do. He's like 12 years old and I'm like four and he's like, you know, let's play this game. Let me put this here. And yeah, and I didn't want to.

1:16:25 Adam And I wonder where this guy is today.

1:16:27 Caller He moved to England.

1:16:28 Drew I've done a bunch of research.

1:16:29 Adam I've done a bunch of research.

1:16:32 Drew I've done a bunch of research lately trying to figure out if anyone knows why this happens to the brain, why these highly intrusive, sexualized experiences create these tremendous arousals around sort of abnormal focuses later in life, such as, you know, dominatrix, submissiveness, these sorts of things that become now highly arousing because of these early events. No one has really worked out that biology yet.

1:16:56 Adam Well, how much are you engaging in this?

1:17:00 Caller Not much. My boyfriend right now kind of like acknowledges it but doesn't acknowledge it. I mean, he lets me call him master, but we don't really do anything in the line of that. I mean, like, he doesn't really like it.

1:17:15 Adam Didn't Jeannie call Colonel Blake that?

1:17:18 Drew Yes. Colonel Blake?

1:17:20 Adam I don't remember. Was it Major Healy?

1:17:22 Drew Major Healy. No way.

1:17:24 Adam Well, I thought Healy was his friend.

1:17:26 Drew All right. Dr. Bellos. Bellos, yeah.

1:17:29 Adam Here's my point.

1:17:30 Drew Major Nelson.

1:17:31 Adam Major Nelson. I would not mind being called master once in a while, except for by black people. If my girlfriend was black, that'd be weird. But master is fine. Yeah. Do you call master?

1:17:44 Caller Yeah.

1:17:45 Adam When you guys have sex, do you have sex?

1:17:47 Caller Yeah.

1:17:48 Adam Do you get into it with him when he's doing that?

1:17:51 Caller What do you mean, get into it? Well, I mean, like I call him that, but he's not really into tying me up or-

1:18:00 Adam Right.

1:18:00 Drew He doesn't behave like a master.

1:18:01 Caller No, he doesn't.

1:18:03 Drew That's very disappointing.

1:18:04 Adam Yeah. Well, see, he's kind of a normal dude.

1:18:06 Caller He's a normal guy.

1:18:07 Adam He's weirded out by this.

1:18:08 Drew Or not weirded out. He doesn't know what the hell to do. Yeah. It doesn't hurt him.

1:18:12 Adam There's probably kernel weirdness in his brain about this too, like, geez, I got this nut job. Okay. So, and when you say Dom Sub, do you want to be submissive all the time or do you want to be dominant sometimes?

1:18:27 Caller Mostly I want to be submissive. There's, like, very rarely do I want to be dominant, but there is sometimes that I do.

1:18:33 Adam So you're able to get him to have sex this way or is it not working out?

1:18:38 Caller No, it's not working out.

1:18:39 Caller Okay. All right.

1:18:40 Adam Well, I don't know. You see, I kind of wonder, and I'll just wonder aloud with to Drew and you can weigh in. Is this like being gay? It's like your uncle molested you, turned you gay, but now what are you going to do? You're sixteen and you're gay? I mean, we don't try to talk people out of it at that point. You got a hankering for Schlong. You're sixteen years old. We know you probably wouldn't have been gay if Uncle Lou didn't get to you, but he did and what are we going to do about it? Is it the same with this?

1:19:12 Drew It has a similar quality to it.

1:19:14 Adam So do we tell Michelle to knock it off and control herself or do we say explore it safely?

1:19:21 Drew Well the problem with it is it tends to become a focus away from intimacy. It's a way of avoiding intimacy. Intimacy becomes too scary and this becomes sort of an alternative. And it's not so bad if it remains, it's no big deal if it just remains sort of playful and just something that's occasional, but if she really starts getting into it and gets compulsive around it, then it becomes a problem.

1:19:42 Adam Okay.

1:19:43 Drew It really does. And that becomes difficult for her to have a real relationship.

1:19:47 Adam So, listen, Michelle?

1:19:49 Caller Yeah?

1:19:49 Adam How about getting a little therapy for the rape?

1:19:52 Caller Oh yeah, I'm already in therapy.

1:19:55 Drew What would predict a good situation would be that she should always kind of like this, but it will not become her total experience of a physical encounter.

1:20:02 Adam Right. All right. Let's see. Lisa here has been with seven guys, cannot have an orgasm.

1:20:09 Drew Seventeen. Shocking.

1:20:11 Adam She's seventeen, right. This other chick has an enterperiod. Mom told her their dad molested her. That's Kim. Two friends take lots of pills.

1:20:23 Caller All right. Let's talk to Josh.

1:20:24 Drew How much do the General Awards go?

1:20:26 Adam Josh?

1:20:28 Drew Josh?

1:20:28 Caller Yeah.

1:20:30 Adam Twenty five?

1:20:31 Caller Yes.

1:20:31 Adam You're scared you might have given your girlfriend General Awards?

1:20:34 Caller Yes.

1:20:35 Adam How come you're scared of that?

1:20:38 Caller I don't know.

1:20:39 Caller I don't want her to have it.

1:20:41 Drew And you do?

1:20:41 Adam Well, I don't mean why would you be scared of giving her General Awards.

1:20:45 Drew What makes you believe you've done that?

1:20:47 Caller Oh, as I contracted General Awards about a year ago.

1:20:49 Drew And you've been having sex with her without a condom?

1:20:51 Caller I had, yeah, last night.

1:20:53 Drew Well, okay. Well, now you've passed it.

1:20:55 Adam Well, not necessarily.

1:20:56 Drew Yeah.

1:20:56 Adam One time?

1:20:57 Drew Yeah.

1:20:58 Adam Not necessarily.

1:20:59 Drew Yeah.

1:20:59 Adam I mean, yeah, true. You got you must have warts on warts on you because I've never heard such a stronger champion.

1:21:06 Drew So it's so common and so contagious and so present.

1:21:10 Adam It is. But is is one time guarantee the passage? I can't believe that, especially if he's not having any kind of outbreak.

1:21:20 Drew You don't have any warts present now?

1:21:22 Adam No, I do.

1:21:23 Caller Oh, all right.

1:21:24 Adam Well, there you go.

1:21:25 Caller And I mean, is it possible to get rid of it for good or it's a life?

1:21:29 Drew Some of the warts are if you control them, they don't come back. Some of them have a limited lifespan and go away by themselves. But the more persistent larger ones are the ones that tend to be associated with the cervical cancer. And although no infectious process necessarily transmit that a single contact, this is one of those diseases where it often does.

1:21:52 Adam I saw a wart medication commercial on TV today.

1:21:55 Drew Al Dera, yeah, they're starting to add it.

1:21:57 Adam Al Dera, what's it called? Al Dera. Al Dera, it's my Italian uncle's name. And Alfredo Dera was his full name. And you know it's great, they don't know what to do with these commercials because it's warts. What the hell are you going to do? I mean you can't, you can't, you can't.

1:22:15 Drew First off, you can't windsurf over fields of wheat.

1:22:18 Adam Well, now that's for that kickbox. Well, you see this windsurfing over the fields of wheat is allergy, allergies. And that there's no stigma attached to that so they can, they can do that.

1:22:30 Drew Kickboxing is for herpes.

1:22:32 Adam Herpes, it's chicks living their life and kicking the ass out of, out of heavy bags. Right. They're living.

1:22:40 Drew The whole point is, they're not encumbered.

1:22:42 Adam Yes. These warts and these herpes do not have to hold you down. Somehow they work out.

1:22:47 Drew And you're fighting back.

1:22:48 Adam They work out in this mythical gym. The gyms in these commercials, they're blimp hangers. They have ceilings.

1:22:53 Drew Clear stories.

1:22:54 Adam Yes. They have ceilings that are 60 stories high with the clear glass, with the wire glass in the top.

1:23:00 Drew But nothing below.

1:23:01 Adam Then there's a boxing gym in the middle of this area, nothing else around. And everything else is basically dimly lit except for the spotlight on them. And then she's the only chick in the world who's in the gym and she's working out with her trainer in the middle of the thing.

1:23:16 Drew A heavy bag is suspended from 300 feet by the ceiling.

1:23:19 Adam By the way. You can't just have them rubbing their herpes on the gym equipment at the Y. You got to have some kind of bizarre fantasy gym that you're working out in and she's running on the track and she's kickboxing everywhere. And now the award commercials are coming out.

1:23:37 Drew I haven't seen them.

1:23:38 Adam Well, here's the important thing. First off, I think they ought to just treat it like anything else. You know, they have like Rosie the Bounty Woman or Madge the Madge you're soaking in it for Palmolive. You're really dating yourself.

1:23:53 Drew The Trix Rabbit.

1:23:54 Adam The Trix Rabbit. First off, let's get a mascot going.

1:23:57 Drew Yeah.

1:23:58 Adam Bob the Wart. I don't know, but let's get a spokesman. Let's get Tom Arnold or in there, Carrot Top or somebody.

1:24:07 Drew Carrot Top.

1:24:08 Adam Hell, I'd do it if the money was right. We'll get in there, get some kind of spokesman. And like I said, like you had Brawny, the Lumberjack for Bounty Town.

1:24:17 Drew Mr. Sharman.

1:24:18 Adam Mr. Sharman, the Please Don't Squeeze It guy. I think we need somebody for these war commercials. But here's all they do. They show, they show, first off, they show every nationality because you can't just show one nationality and warts otherwise. It's implying that only these folks get warts.

1:24:37 Drew But the fact that they do show multiple nationalities does sort of bring to mind the fact that certain ethnicities may have a predilection. Which is true.

1:24:45 Adam Oh, that's true? I have not heard that. No, and that does not bring that to mind. I mean, when you show one of everybody, it doesn't say that one ethnicity has.

1:24:55 Drew That sort of brings up the ethnicity issue, doesn't it? It doesn't do it in a way.

1:24:59 Adam What ethnicity gets warts more easily?

1:25:02 Drew Not more easily, not more easily. It's just that in certain cities and things, the Hispanic tend to have it in certain areas.

1:25:07 Adam Oh, Drew, you're saying people of color deserve warts? You're saying God gave them warts to punish them because their skin is darker than ours? Okay, that's what it sounded like you're saying. Here's what I'm saying. You have to have one of everybody. Then I always wonder, how desperate at gig is this for this actor? I'm looking at this Asian guy in his 20s. They all got that same sort of pensive look on their face. Sure, they're not happy about warts, but there's a certain quite confidence that they exude. They're not jovial and they're not crying. There's that look. You know that look you get?

1:25:39 Drew That knowing look.

1:25:40 Adam Yes, that knowing, you know what? Here's the look. I got warts, but in any shame of it, and it's not going to slow me down. I'm young. I got my life ahead of me. I got to spread warts around the world. And that's my mission.

1:25:54 Drew You know we need, I know we need. I know how this should work.

1:25:57 Adam They got a chick. Have you seen this commercial yet?

1:25:59 Drew Yeah, they need to have the guy get up in the morning and opening up the medicine cabinet, and there's another guy on the other side of the medicine cabinet.

1:26:04 Adam Hi, guy!

1:26:07 Drew That's what they need. That would do it.

1:26:09 Adam No, I, listen, they got a chick. There's chicks walking alone on the beach. There's a lot of nature involved with these sexually transmitted diseases. Meanwhile, the guy got it in some tenement slum in East LA. But for some reason, everybody's walking. It's hot-looking chicks who good-looking people. You never see any skanks on these commercials. It's good-looking pieces of ass who are getting these warts, which is a little bit confusing to me because like, I'd like to nail this wart queen. She's got the dress pulled up and she's walking. She's on some like English countryside and there's a pond and there's different guises. Lots of fog rolling by and it's dark and a lot of people with a determined look on their face. I would just like to, I'd like to be in on one of the meetings at the ad agencies that discusses how we're going to approach this. They never show, now they show the name of it, but they never show the product. They never show the pills or the creams or the whatever. Then, there's a 40-minute disclaimer. If you're pregnant, if you're over 4 feet tall, if you're pregnant or think you might be pregnant, if you smoke cigarettes or know somebody who smokes cigarettes.

1:27:21 Drew May cause recent diarrhea, a foul mellow to a stool.

1:27:23 Adam Projectile vomiting and diarrhea, greasy stool, entrenched mouth may also cause more warts, lesions, pancreatic cancer.

1:27:33 Drew Less than 1% of cases of liver failure have been reported by the FDA.

1:27:36 Adam People who ride or own mopeds should not participate in this. Less than 1% of people experience loss of hair and cataract detachment. It's just a great commercial. It's the most entertaining commercial you could ever see, especially at the end when they give that greasy stool part.

1:27:58 Drew Well, that was a good cream, by the way.

1:27:59 Adam All right. Working fine. Working fine. And should not, I learned from the commercial, be used while having intercourse. You've got to wipe down the cream.

1:28:08 Drew Good time.

1:28:08 Adam You don't cream up and then stick it in.

1:28:10 Drew Good time. Yes, it will burn. Okay.

1:28:12 Adam We'll be back.

1:28:14 Caller Hello? Is this Loveline?

1:28:15 Caller Call 1-800-LOVE-191. Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back.

1:28:49 Caller Hi, this is Mark from Glink 182, and you are listening to Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew on Loveline. I have a really big gift.

1:28:56 Adam Hey, yo, Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Drew. Watching more footage from Drew's vacation, seeing the crazy monkeys in the Brazilian rainforest.

1:29:08 Drew Costa Rica.

1:29:09 Adam Costa Rican rainforest. Now I'm seeing a tree full of bats.

1:29:13 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:29:14 Adam Those bats, Drew?

1:29:15 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:29:16 Adam Kids run around with these monkeys all over their head. Anyone crap on anyone?

1:29:21 Drew No, no crap.

1:29:23 Adam Is that an eagle now? They got eagles soaring around there?

1:29:26 Drew All kinds of stuff. Yeah.

1:29:28 Adam Jesus Christ. I'm from North Hollywood. If I see a snail, I'm really excited. Oh my God. Look at that. Don't say anything. You'll scare me. I'm going to name it. Geez, what a life those kids are having. Dale?

1:29:43 Caller Yep.

1:29:43 Adam You're 17?

1:29:45 Caller Yes, I am.

1:29:46 Adam What's up?

1:29:47 Caller Yeah, I was wondering and I've heard you comment about junior colleges all the time. And I was wondering because I'm getting out of high school after this year. I'm a senior in high school and I was wondering if I should either go into junior college or go and listen to the military.

1:30:05 Caller First of all, don't join the military.

1:30:08 Adam Yeah, you got to do the military.

1:30:11 Drew You think?

1:30:12 Adam Oh, because here's what I want to say about the military versus junior college. The military you'll be done with in four years, okay? You will, I mean, here's what's interesting about the military to me. Drew, stop looking at your video camera. Now it's become a distraction for me. Junior college is, you go to junior college when you're a crappy student in high school.

1:30:37 Drew And don't know what you want to do.

1:30:38 Adam And don't know what you want to do. And obviously your study habits aren't what it could be or you're not too bright. And I know I sound like I'm criticizing you and I am, but I was one of those people. So doing more school for a guy who's not very good at school is a huge waste of everyone's time. Now, junior college may not be a waste of time 10 years from now, when you got a little discipline, you got your head screwed on straight and you know what you want to do with your life. But you didn't know what you want to do with the last few years of your life, and you're not going to know what you want to do for the next few years of your life. You'll go to junior college, you'll kick around for three or four years, and you'll walk away with nothing.

1:31:17 Drew Military people get a sense of worth and discipline and maybe some skills.

1:31:22 Adam Here's the thing about, I'm telling you, if you're not going to a four-year college, those years between 18 and 22 are wasted. I drank beer, smoked weed, and cleaned carpet and dug ditches on a construction site. And it made all of $8,000 in those four years, and just basically lived eating macaroni and cheese, and lived in a one-bedroom with some idiots and learned nothing and did nothing. It's just a waste, just living. I would have been better off if someone would just have froze me with Walt Disney's head and put me on some kind of breathing apparatus. I would have gotten more, it's true. More out of life. You go to the military, you specialize in something, not something kooky like, don't get into something kooky like radar or something like that. Get into like electronics or something. Give us something that has a, that translates into civilian life.

1:32:12 Drew I'm not a firefly jet.

1:32:13 Adam No, you can't do that because you got to go to college. You got to go to college and academy for that. Just go learn how to work on something or fix something. Then you get medical and dental for the rest of your life, which is a big deal when you're poor. And you get all these benefits. You can borrow money with low interest rates, if you want to buy a house, you can get like zero on that. All that for those four years that you would have completely wasted at junior college playing hacky sack and scoring weed and doing nothing. Go to the military. But like I said, don't be an idiot. Learn how to do something while you're in the military. And when you're ever going to get a chance to work around a million or billion dollar equipment that way ever again, think about how cool it is.

1:32:59 Drew Yeah, you're quite well taken.

1:33:02 Caller First of all, don't join the military.

1:33:04 Adam Okay, we'll be back.

1:33:05 Caller Okay, so I know there's nothing wrong with me.

1:33:07 Caller So what's up? I was like you and I used to think that these datelines were totally cheesy.

1:33:11 Caller Why can't I meet anybody?

1:33:12 Caller But I tried everything else and thought, what the hell?

1:33:14 Caller So I called the dateline and actually met a cool guy.

1:33:15 Caller I called the dateline and I hooked up with some cool people.

1:33:18 Caller Believe it or not, other normal people are out there looking too.

1:33:20 Caller 877-889-DATE.

1:33:24 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:33:26 Adam We'll be right back. All righty, everybody. Well, there's the end of the show. I want to thank you all for listening. Well, thank Drew for bringing in the tape of his vacation.

1:34:09 Drew You got to see the Panama Canal.

1:34:11 Adam Yeah.

1:34:11 Drew Fidel Castro. What a good time.

1:34:12 Adam Costa Rica. Bring in the rest tomorrow night.

1:34:15 Caller All right.

1:34:15 Adam I'll watch. I need something to do during the show.

1:34:17 Drew I understand.

1:34:18 Caller All right.

1:34:18 Drew You'll be spoiled now.

1:34:19 Caller Yeah.

1:34:20 Adam If not, I'm going to bring my itch a sketch. I got to stay occupied. So until next time, is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying? Mahalo. I got warts, but in any shame of it, and it's not going to slow me down. I'm young. I got my life ahead of me. I got to spread warts around the world, and that's my mission.

1:34:38 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, but of the management sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

Episode Feedback

Tuesday, January 8, 2002