Episode 1000739182442

0:10 Voiceover Love Line! 1-800-LOVE-191 Love Line starts now.

0:20 Drew Starts now in the studio with us tonight. Again, Command Performance with Andy Melanock.

0:27 Andy Milonakis Hi, hi, hi, hi. How are you?

0:30 Drew I was just telling Andy that he passed one of the most stringent tests to this show, which is my wife-

0:35 Andy Milonakis Pregnancy test.

0:35 Drew No, you didn't pass, you passed that. But my wife, Susan Pinsky, is acid test. She's one of the most stringent critics of the show, loved you last night.

0:43 Andy Milonakis That I thank you and I hope she's listening, and I hope I don't piss her off this time. I hope I go for two for two.

0:50 Drew Two for two.

0:51 Andy Milonakis Two for Tuesdays.

0:52 Drew And I reminded Andy about 46 seconds ago that he promised us a rap for tonight.

0:57 Andy Milonakis And I'm already four bars in for you hip hop fans to know.

1:01 Drew Give me that paper, give me a pen. It doesn't take long. It's amazing. That's genius, I tell you. So the Andy Milonakis show, it's re-airing on MTV2, and the new season is coming up when?

1:12 Andy Milonakis March.

1:13 Drew In March.

1:13 Andy Milonakis On MTV2 with Sickom Fridays.

1:16 Drew And Andy has a toothache tonight.

1:18 Andy Milonakis A little bit of a toothache.

1:19 Drew And he's on just a sick shooting schedule.

1:22 Andy Milonakis Yeah, we get whipped a little bit.

1:24 You pansy!

1:26 Drew Get up every morning, hit the mean streets in New York.

1:29 Andy Milonakis Yes, and that's why I don't really feel bad about it, on the months that I'm not working, I'm almost total slacker, and I wake up at two in the afternoon.

1:38 Drew But now you go out and abuse the senior citizens of your neighborhood?

1:41 Andy Milonakis Very early, very early.

1:43 Drew What are they out there doing at that time of day?

1:45 Andy Milonakis Um, I don't even think they know, actually. I think they're just like pacing back and forth.

1:50 Drew How do you pick a subject? Do they have to be like muttering to themselves or walking a certain way?

1:56 Andy Milonakis No, no discrimination. We just go up to anyone. If they have a very sour puss on their face, then we leave them alone, you know. But it's hard sometimes, because sometimes people look angry, and you walk up to them and you say something to them, and then they start smiling.

2:12 Drew They're delightful, yeah. Are we going to see a revisitation of I was going to say that?

2:19 Andy Milonakis No, but we have some things that are similar to the same bits. You know, I don't want to ruin them.

2:26 Drew Do you need time to work on your rap there? That's what he does without any preparation. So now we're giving it three or four minutes preparation. Let's see what he does. I'll take a call first. This is Stephanie, who's 18.

2:42 Andy Milonakis Hi.

2:43 Drew Stephanie on Loveline. The phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191.

2:48 Andy Milonakis Hello.

2:49 Drew Hello there, what's going on?

2:51 Andy Milonakis Um, I have a problem with my clitoris.

2:55 Drew You came to the right place. You're on with Andy Milonakis.

2:58 Andy Milonakis Hi.

2:58 Andy Milonakis Hello.

2:59 Andy Milonakis You sexy bitch.

3:02 Drew I love your show.

3:03 Andy Milonakis Oh, thank you.

3:04 Andy Milonakis It's interesting.

3:06 Andy Milonakis You are interesting. That's one of the new bits. People say, why do you like pizza? Because it's cheesy. You're cheesy. It's interesting. You're... It's so dumb.

3:20 Drew What's going on tonight, Stephanie? You sound like you got a problem.

3:22 Andy Milonakis Yeah, um, like, I don't know if it's from, like, when I was younger when I got molested by my grandpa.

3:28 Andy Milonakis Oh, no.

3:29 Andy Milonakis Yeah, I was, like, four. And, uh, it sucks. And then I had, like, a lot of other history happen later on through the years. It was just no fun.

3:38 Andy Milonakis You seem like a pretty happy girl, all things considered, so, uh...

3:42 Drew Like rape and that sort of thing?

3:44 Andy Milonakis Yeah.

3:44 Andy Milonakis And this is not cool.

3:45 Andy Milonakis I got a beep.

3:48 Drew You got a what?

3:48 Andy Milonakis You got a beep.

3:49 Oh.

3:49 Andy Milonakis Someone's calling in.

3:50 Andy Milonakis It's me.

3:51 Drew No, no, they can handle it.

3:53 Andy Milonakis Come on, this is goddamn Loveline. This is more important than your stupid beep. It's probably your psycho grandfather.

3:58 Andy Milonakis Okay, well, they can call back.

4:00 Drew Right. The nation's gonna hold on while you check your call. Come on now. So you haven't told us yet what your problem is.

4:05 Andy Milonakis All right. Um, like, like, when my, like, right on it, if it's messed with, it hurts, but around it, it doesn't.

4:13 Drew Your what?

4:14 Andy Milonakis My clitoris.

4:17 Drew I'm sorry. If somebody touches it, it hurts?

4:19 Andy Milonakis Yeah, like, right on it.

4:21 Drew Like, direct, direct stimulation is uncomfortable.

4:24 Andy Milonakis Yeah. But anywhere around it, it's like, okay.

4:28 Drew Are you someone who orgasms with intercourse?

4:31 Andy Milonakis Um, yeah.

4:33 Drew That usually is the case with people that are like that. That it's funny that most women like direct stimulation. They will only orgasm with like direct stimulation with oral sex. But the women that orgasm easily with intercourse, any direct stimulation is too much. So there you go. So that's normal.

4:50 Yeah.

4:51 Andy Milonakis Yeah.

4:52 Drew It says here something about chlamydia.

4:54 Andy Milonakis Uh, yeah.

4:55 Andy Milonakis Unfortunately.

4:57 Drew Tell us about that.

4:58 Andy Milonakis Oh, that like really made me mad tonight. But anyway, yeah, um, I was wondering like how long would it take for like a lab result to come back for my boyfriend?

5:07 Drew For your boyfriend in terms of whether he has chlamydia?

5:09 Andy Milonakis Yeah.

5:10 Drew It can be very quick. There are urine screens on it that are almost immediate.

5:14 Oh, that's cool.

5:16 Drew So get him tested. Well, he needs to be treated either way. You got to assume, if you have it, you have to assume he has it.

5:21 Andy Milonakis Yeah.

5:21 Drew And to sort of go round and around about who gave it to whom is irrelevant at this point. You just both need to be treated.

5:26 Andy Milonakis That way he's calm and done in other ways.

5:28 Drew Yeah. Go ahead and confront him. Talk about it.

5:31 Andy Milonakis We did, just like a little bit ago.

5:33 Drew And did he say whether he thought he had it or not?

5:36 Andy Milonakis No, he said he didn't, he's like, didn't know what the symptoms. He said nothing's changed with his...

5:41 Drew Has he cheated?

5:42 Andy Milonakis Huh?

5:43 Drew Has he cheated?

5:45 Andy Milonakis Not that I know of, but it's not.

5:47 Drew Did you ask him?

5:49 Andy Milonakis No, I don't like the type though.

5:52 Drew What are you doing for birth control?

5:54 Andy Milonakis Who, me?

5:55 Drew Yeah, you, that's what I'm talking to.

5:57 Yeah, I'm already...

5:58 Drew You're just lucky Andy's focused on his rap right now or he'd be taking you apart, I think.

6:02 Andy Milonakis I'm writing, I'm writing. What's up, girl? What you got? The disease?

6:06 Drew Chlamydia.

6:06 Andy Milonakis You got the wrong bag.

6:08 Andy Milonakis You got to get that, you got to get that tested.

6:10 Drew No, she definitely tested, she definitely has it. Now she needs to get treated. The boyfriend needs to get treated.

6:15 Andy Milonakis I got my pills tonight.

6:16 Drew Right, the boyfriend needs to get them too. And the question I have, you got to use it for my son probably, the question I have is why you guys aren't using condoms.

6:25 Andy Milonakis Don't know.

6:26 Drew All right, are you doing anything for birth control?

6:29 Andy Milonakis Yeah, I'm on birth control. Well, I haven't been this month because I had to stop taking them for this month because I like messed up my cycle. So I had to like stop all things together and I'm starting this Monday.

6:41 Drew And you're going to be taking some antibiotics right now so they may not be working so well. So you need to, will you at least take one thing away from this call and please promise us you'll wear condoms for this month?

6:50 Andy Milonakis Yeah.

6:50 Drew Thank you.

6:51 Andy Milonakis You got to be responsible. Because this is this, you know, this is luckily something you get over. I mean, if you catch one of the bad ones, your whole life is in the garbage.

7:03 Drew Do you freak out about that?

7:04 Andy Milonakis I'm so, so paranoid. Like my friends, some of my friends don't use condoms and they just kind of dismiss it like, yeah, whatever, you know, whatever. They just really, they really just are so dumb. They just don't think it's going to happen to them.

7:15 Drew Anywhere is one all the time.

7:16 Andy Milonakis When it does. I have one on right now.

7:18 Drew That's what I figured. I figured that.

7:19 Andy Milonakis I have actually two on right now.

7:21 Drew Two? Two doesn't work as well as one.

7:23 Andy Milonakis Well, no, I have two penises. So there's one on each penis.

7:25 Drew Oh, then you need to. Then you need to. That's a good point. I hadn't thought of that. Well, well done. This is now Megan of Seventeen.

7:31 Andy Milonakis Yes. Hi, Megan.

7:33 Andy Milonakis Hi.

7:35 Andy Milonakis Hello.

7:36 Drew Hey, what's going on?

7:37 Andy Milonakis Hey. Okay.

7:38 Andy Milonakis Well, I have a question here. I have been kind of fooling around with this guy and he's, he's really, he's kind of into the biting thing and that's cool with me and everything, but I find like he played, he played a part in Dracula and he was Dracula. And so he's kind of gotten used to it.

8:00 Andy Milonakis Which Dracula? Which one?

8:03 Andy Milonakis Do what?

8:04 Andy Milonakis Which Dracula did he play Dracula in?

8:06 Andy Milonakis It was a school play.

8:08 Andy Milonakis School play?

8:10 Andy Milonakis Yeah.

8:11 Andy Milonakis Did, who played the tree?

8:14 Andy Milonakis I don't know. I didn't see it.

8:16 Andy Milonakis Well, that's important. This, this whole problem, I mean, it's an important part. It's not just like filler. I mean, we have to find out who played the tree.

8:27 Andy Milonakis Alright, I'm sorry. Good.

8:28 Andy Milonakis Good. Go ahead. I'm sorry.

8:30 Andy Milonakis That's okay.

8:30 Drew Where is he biting you? What part of the body?

8:33 Andy Milonakis Like on the neck and it kind of kind of part of the neck. Bites me on the, that was nice. He bites me on the neck and whatnot. And like kind of on the lower or the upper shoulder, kind of lower neck part. And it feels good and that is perfectly fine. But I find it kind of like an addiction.

8:53 Like it's kind of.

8:55 Drew He's addicted to it or you're addicted to it?

8:57 Andy Milonakis I'm kind of starting to get addicted to it. Like I'm kind of like, okay, I want you to bite me now. And I think about it constantly during the day, like during school and stuff, I'll be sitting there. Out of nowhere, I'll just like feel like he's like biting me, but he's not really there. It's really weird. Like during sex and stuff, he hasn't bit me during sex, but I've bit him and he's like, okay, that feels really good. And so I want him to bite me during sex and I want him to bite me like any point in time.

9:26 Andy Milonakis Is he a method actor? I mean, is he still doing Dracula, the play? No, he's not a method actor. You're a method actor, you act out all these things. Like I played this Swedish ten-year-old once and I ate a lot of meatballs like for five months. You don't want to get in the character. I don't even like meatballs.

9:50 Drew Megan, it's just your form of arousal. You guys are into this thing. If for some reason pain for you is something that you sort of need fetishistically to sort of function sexually. You know, that happens, that it doesn't necessarily. It's hard to sort of give you as precise explanation for how or why that happens. I'd be careful with it if you've been physically abused either of you growing up. It does tend to become a preoccupation with sexuality. Brian's 23. Oh, hey.

10:19 Andy Milonakis Dr. Drew, Andy, how are you guys doing?

10:21 Andy Milonakis What's up, player?

10:22 Drew Doing good.

10:23 Andy Milonakis How are you, playboy? I'm calling. I just got back from Iraq about a year ago. My wife got back in July. We got married shortly before we left for Iraq. Everything before we went to Iraq, as far as sexual, she was crazy about it. She wanted it all the time. I couldn't give it to her enough. During Iraq, we had some problems. We weren't over there together. We were over there in different spots.

10:51 Drew What happened?

10:52 Andy Milonakis Coming back, she said she had a feel-same about me no more. She's just not the same towards me sexually.

11:00 Drew What were the problems you had in Iraq? You just sort of tossed that out as though it was-

11:04 Andy Milonakis Well, okay, she's got problems with dating back way before, like she's got emotional problems. Like she had a boyfriend, I used to abuse her sexually, mentally, physically, everything. And then when she was younger, she got, you know, she had some molestation problems from some cousins.

11:23 Drew Okay.

11:23 Andy Milonakis When she was younger, from some older cousins. But in Iraq, she was getting sexually harassed and she was coming to me for moral support. But I was being the kind of whole guy that I am, I want to come over there and kill some people and get mad about it. And I got real, I blew up on her one night. And after that, everything changed. And she has stopped communicating with me, basically telling me everything. And just basically after that, everything changed.

11:49 Drew All right, so this is a very serious problem with the abuse, trauma, maybe post-traumatic stress disorder, even both prior to going to Iraq for her and maybe even now after she perceived or at least experienced some of the interaction with her peers as abusive. This is a really bad situation. And then she's also sort of cutting you off for some reason. And God only knows what that reason is.

12:11 Andy Milonakis Oh well, I don't know why she cut me off. I think she has a flashback one.

12:15 Drew Well look, she has very serious mental health problems, as you've alluded to, and she needs to get treated. And she needs to sort out what she's going to do with this relationship. There's nothing you can do.

12:24 Andy Milonakis Right now she wants a divorce, but I don't know what to do. I don't know if I can hang in there or if I should just let her go and...

12:31 Drew Well, you shouldn't hang in unless you get some... You got to get some professional help. This is a bigger project than you can handle.

12:37 Andy Milonakis We've already went to the help as far as the military. She's already seen people and they're like... They're focusing on the wrong things. They're not focusing on her problems from before they were focusing on me and her. They're not focusing on her past problems.

12:52 Drew And what did they tell you guys to do? What did they think would be a good plan?

12:55 Andy Milonakis They put her on medication.

12:57 Drew Good. And what did they think would be a good plan with the marriage?

13:00 Andy Milonakis They told her to wait it out and see how she feels back. I can't... I'm not just going to wait around when somebody says they don't know if they love me anymore, you know?

13:08 Drew Andy, what do you think?

13:10 Andy Milonakis I think she should respect that you are fighting for your country.

13:16 Drew She was there too.

13:18 Andy Milonakis I think that she should respect that you were both fighting for your country and that things should change because you are a man of your word and that you like popcorn and movies. I'm sorry, I was writing my rap. I wasn't paying attention.

13:36 Drew He was, his wife is a history of sexual abuse and she is pretty chaotic and she went to Iraq. She felt she got abused by her peers. She was constantly complaining to her husband, which I'll call her. He blew up at her one night and she has cut him off since. They are seeing the mental health people at the military. They are putting her on medication, which is good. But she is saying she wants a divorce. Should I do it?

13:55 Andy Milonakis If she wants a divorce, I mean, it depends how long you tried. If you tried and tried, I mean, there is no point in trying to stretch it out. You think what?

14:04 Andy Milonakis I've been trying ever since. And she just can't cope like this. She has found a whole bunch of little things before we got married. And she had plenty of time to think about it over there.

14:14 Andy Milonakis All I know is I think the worst thing that you could do is stretch out a relationship longer than it should be because I know people who have been together with, you know, a girlfriend for four years that they were miserable. Like, it's just a waste of your life. Life is too short, man. Move on.

14:34 Drew These guys are married. They made a commitment.

14:36 Andy Milonakis They made a commitment, but if it's not working and you've been trying for months and months and months, when is enough? What, are you gonna wait three years? Are you gonna spend six years of your life just like trying to win her over again?

14:46 Andy Milonakis I understood that. And that's why I already said I'm moving. And I'm moving now.

14:49 Drew Do you have kids? Do you have kids?

14:51 Andy Milonakis No, no kids.

14:52 Drew All right. Make one pledge to us tonight. Whatever you decide to do, you will not have children with this woman for a long, long time.

14:59 Andy Milonakis Well, she's not even freaking having sex with me, so I don't think that's gonna be a problem.

15:02 Drew All right. So it sounds like you've sort of...

15:04 Andy Milonakis Maybe if you've given up and if you really have given up and you're just like, all right, I give up, we're out of here.

15:10 Andy Milonakis I don't want to give up. That's why I'm even calling y'all off. I gave up. I wouldn't bother wasting my time.

15:14 Andy Milonakis Well, maybe it's time to give up.

15:16 Drew Maybe it's time to give up. I don't know. You sort of said you've given up and then we said... We sort of articulated that and you said, no, I haven't.

15:23 Andy Milonakis Well, I tried and then...

15:25 Drew You said, I'm moving out. She's forced to give up. Well, you've told her you're moving out and you're done. That's giving up. And that's fine. It may be time. If you've seen... Andy's right. If you had professional help, she's not willing to change. There are no resources available to get her more definitive kinds of care. You've done everything you possibly can. There is a point at which that's that.

15:43 Andy Milonakis Yeah, the true time... I mean, time will tell. I mean, if you leave and you give it time and you're apart for a month and you kind of like full force leave her, maybe she'll come crying back. Maybe you'll take her back. Maybe not.

15:56 Drew There's a huge... Brian, you've taken on a gigantic project. I mean, you're basically... You're the genera of a battalion or something here. And this is... And the cars are stacked up against you on this one.

16:08 Andy Milonakis I don't remember anything.

16:09 Drew Brandon, 24. Hey, what's up?

16:12 Andy Milonakis Hey, what's up?

16:13 Drew That's what I want to know from you.

16:15 Andy Milonakis What's up?

16:17 Drew Andy?

16:18 Andy Milonakis What's up? What's up, son?

16:20 Andy Milonakis Oh, hey. Yeah, I've been... I got a question, I guess, for Dr. Drew. I've been sleeping with my girlfriend for the past eight months, and when we first started, she could only orgasm from on top, and she says that it's been that way her whole life, with all her boyfriends, and recently, you know, about a few months ago, we figured out that she could do it with me on top and that I could do it with my hands, which she said is something that has never happened her whole life, but I still cannot make her climax orally and have, you know, read a lot about it, have tried different techniques, going slow, going fast, soft, hard.

16:56 Drew You heard us talking to that caller, listen, you heard us talking to that caller earlier tonight, right?

17:00 Andy Milonakis No.

17:00 Drew And we just had a call about 10 minutes ago with a woman who was able to orgasm with intercourse, who could not tolerate any direct stimulation, and that is sort of typical. Is women, they're able to orgasm with intercourse, the more orgasmic they are with intercourse, the less they are able to with oral sex, and vice versa.

17:16 Andy Milonakis You can't have your clit and eat it too, I mean.

17:19 Drew Thank you. Thank you. Write that down. Put that on a loop.

17:23 Andy Milonakis Well, it just seems strange, because from the get-go, she was almost unable to orgasm from intercourse as well. We sort of had to work with that and make it work.

17:35 Andy Milonakis You just conquered her. You found out another way she can orgasm now. Is your time to have a two-month celebration, eat some potato chips, go on a little hike around the world?

17:45 Drew You sure she's not faking it?

17:50 Andy Milonakis It's possible. She says she's not and we're pretty open about it. So I would think that she wouldn't be.

17:56 Drew And what have you been trying with oral sex?

17:59 Andy Milonakis Well, basically, you know, I read this this book the other day and it was saying basically that everything that I had been doing beforehand was incorrect.

18:08 Andy Milonakis Clit stimulation for dummies?

18:11 Andy Milonakis Yeah, pretty much. I don't know. It's probably the wrong book to be reading, but it's The Vice Guide to Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll.

18:18 Drew Well, what were you doing before and what did it tell you to do this time?

18:21 Andy Milonakis Basically, some of the things that it said was to wait until she's completely wet and aroused to go down.

18:30 Andy Milonakis You should try Dr. Seuss' book. Clit, Clit, I am. I do not want any green eggs in Clit.

18:39 Andy Milonakis Yeah, me neither. So, it started incredibly slow. Basically, the buildup was more important than anything, and once you find something that you think is going to bring to the climax, keep it as the same as you possibly can, which I try to do. And the other day, I went for about an hour, and she said afterwards that she was very close many times, but then would lose it for some reason. Either I would change something or whatever. But I was trying to be very conscious of not changing anything. And I don't know, I'd very much like to make her orgasm from her.

19:11 Drew Well, just think slow, light touch, slow, rhythmic, flat part of the tongue, that kind of thing. And much, much different than what you would want. Very different. But let me put it to you this way. Have you ever had an experience where it's like, almost, oh, oh, no, not, no, no, no, no. Oh, it's gone. No, males don't have that experience. They don't have that. And that's just one example of the many, many differences. So be sure you're tuning in to what she is doing, how she is responding, not in any way thinking about what you would want in those situations. How close are we to our rap?

19:43 Andy Milonakis Pretty close. I got like one more line then I'm going to finish. Then I'm going to jump off, jump off.

19:50 Drew You're going to break it off proper?

19:52 Andy Milonakis I'm going to break it down. Hip hop to the hip hop, hip to hip.

19:56 Drew So the new show will be on MTV2, right? In March.

19:58 Andy Milonakis Yeah, in March.

19:58 Drew And the old shows are continuing to air?

20:00 Andy Milonakis They're airing on mtv2.com. There's a schedule. They play reruns at like midnight, six o'clock at night. They're just like all over the place.

20:12 Drew And we'll see all our usual characters back again. We'll make a command performance.

20:16 Andy Milonakis We'll be Larry Rivka, Ralphie, and the guy with the fish.

20:21 Drew The guy with the fish.

20:22 Andy Milonakis We got some new ones for him.

20:24 Drew Nice. All right. It's 1-800-LOVE-191. It's Loveline. I'm Dr. Drew. He is Andy Milonakis from the Andy Milonakis Show on MTV. He's got a rigorous shooting schedule. He abuses old people from early in the morning until late in the afternoon and then goes indoors and abuses old people until late in the evening.

20:42 Andy Milonakis Is that about right?

20:44 Drew It's very friendly. And delivery professional.

20:47 You no good hooligan.

20:50 Drew Andy's in here. He's writing a rap for us about Loveline and he'll be ready to deliver that to us after the break. In the meantime, give us your call and we'll be right back.

21:05 Loveline will be right back.

21:12 Drew That's right, it's Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191, the one and only, I mean the one and only, Andy Milonakis in studio tonight. He's about to lay some rhyme on us. Buster, I bet I'm not going to let you do it yet.

21:28 Andy Milonakis All right.

21:29 Drew I'm going to expose you. First of all, on Anderson's behalf, he wanted to hear a little mootie before we went into the rap.

21:35 Andy Milonakis All right. Well, yeah, he just pronounces a couple of words weird, so it's kind of hard to do, but if you have any pet nails, you can say that or you can just...

21:47 Drew Do you want to answer a call with his voice, with mootie?

21:50 Andy Milonakis Sure.

21:50 Drew Okay. This now is... Tim was 28. Tim?

21:53 Andy Milonakis Hi.

21:53 Andy Milonakis How are you?

21:54 Drew Good. What's going on?

21:56 Andy Milonakis Well... Hi.

21:57 Andy Milonakis Hi. How are you? About a year ago, I was involved in a vehicle accident. We were pretty intoxicated. I wasn't driving, but I was thrown from the vehicle. All I remember is I remember hearing the sirens. I can kind of remember a few things. I remember being in the back of the ambulance, and I couldn't move. I was paralyzed, and there were shoving tubes down my throat. And I could hear everything they were doing, but I couldn't move.

22:22 Drew Okay.

22:23 Andy Milonakis And now I have this huge fear of sirens, and nobody really believes me about this.

22:29 Drew No, that's a common thing to get post-traumatic stress disorder and have it triggered by all kinds of cues. You have this horrible experience and these sort of images or these sounds or these thoughts or feelings become associated with the feelings and the trauma and the panic. And naturally enough, they'll re-trigger these things. So that's a normal thing. And that could go on for quite some time. There actually are medications, probably the best thing to try to deal with this. There's other kinds of, there's something called EMDR, where they use eye movement to try to reprogram you. There's individual therapy, sometimes helpful too for this. I think Mootie has some input about this as well.

23:08 Andy Milonakis This is not really a Mootie-friendly song.

23:10 Drew What's that Tim?

23:11 Andy Milonakis One thing that really scared me was, I felt completely paralyzed in the back of the ambulance.

23:16 I could hear everything.

23:19 Drew Yes, it's a post-traumatic stress disorder. I had a patient once that developed PTSD. Listen to this, Mootie. This is a Mootie moment. This patient, when they put you under general anesthesia, they paralyze you.

23:31 Andy Milonakis Did he smell smelly eggs?

23:33 Drew No, he didn't smell smelly eggs. What he smelled and what he woke up during his operation to being completely paralyzed and having his chest cracked open for his coronary bypass and could feel everything, including the people's hands in his chest. It was unbelievable.

23:48 Andy Milonakis That's exactly what happened to me.

23:51 Drew And he developed a post-traumatic stress reaction. That is very, very intense.

23:54 Andy Milonakis That happened to me, too. No joke aside. I just got a bad phone call once. And for a bunch of months, even if it was a number that was familiar to me, I would be scared to answer the phone because I thought it would be like bad news, like just kind of stressed out and not wanting to...

24:14 Drew So imagine you're paralyzed out and lying near your death.

24:17 Andy Milonakis Yeah.

24:19 Drew So Andy can relate to it.

24:20 Andy Milonakis I can relate to it on a much smaller scale. But, you know, it doesn't seem too silly to me.

24:25 Drew Tim.

24:26 Andy Milonakis Andy, I enjoy your show.

24:28 Andy Milonakis Thank you, sir.

24:30 Andy Milonakis Dr. Drew, I wouldn't think that this is bogus. Is it bogus?

24:35 Drew Well, you tell me.

24:37 Is it bogus?

24:38 Drew He has a bogus call.

24:40 Andy Milonakis Was that an easy one?

24:41 Drew Interesting. Yeah, it's a good one. You had me all the way in. But...

24:45 Andy Milonakis You smell.

24:46 Drew Well done. Now Mootie can talk to you.

24:49 Andy Milonakis I felt bad for you.

24:53 Drew Oh, Tim, you see what you did? Now we reset yet there, Anderson? Anderson? Oh, I hope he was in the studio to pick this up.

25:03 Andy Milonakis Drew, like when somebody cusses, I've got to concentrate for about 10 seconds.

25:07 Drew Okay, fair enough. Well, for those of you that didn't hear what just happened, Tim managed to evoke a huge F-bomb from Andy Milonakis. Huge. Tim was a bogus caller and had a pretty good bogus call. And Andy exposed a little tender side of himself and it kind of pissed him off a bit, I guess. And as a result, he let go of the huge F-bomb.

25:32 Andy Milonakis I know. I wrote a rap. I made sure it was nice and clean.

25:34 Drew All right, let's get back to the rap. So here's the deal. I want you to hear some of the other raps we've had on this show before we bust yours out. Dr. Drew in the hizzy. You got to get out there and get your bitch spunked. I'm telling you, nigger, that it would put you into the mode where you would have no problem to get that freaky shit going 24-7 flowing semen here in your house in your hizzy for Chizzy.

26:00 Caller S-O-C-K-I-T, socket to me, baby, my head is aching, my hips are tight, and the dip is aching from left to right. One, two, three, four, five, cast, don't take no job. Six, seven, eight, nine, ten, come on, baby, we're going to win. That's a cheer, baby, that's a cheer.

26:16 Drew So the first one is something I did for Crank Yankers. The second one was David Alan Greer. Do we have anything else out there? Do we have like a Germany or Florida or something?

26:24 Andy Milonakis And I got a ton of David Alan Greer stuff.

26:27 Drew No, that's good enough. Yeah, that's good enough. All right, now we're going to hear a real rap from the great Andy Milonakis.

26:34 Andy Milonakis Yeah, yeah. Yo, son, what up? I'm rapping on Loveline. If you in AA, don't drink that wine. If you went overeated, don't touch that swine. If you think Dr. Drew is sexy, damn right, he's fine. Damn right, he's fine. Damn right, he's fine. You better use a rubber or you're gonna get hurt. I don't care about your girlfriend. She's a scuzzy ass flirt. Don't assume anything cause you thought you knew. You're listening to Milonakis and my man, Dr. Drew.

27:04 Yeah, very good.

27:06 Drew Thank you.

27:10 Andy Milonakis Word.

27:10 Drew Put that on the loop. Thank you, Andy. Well done.

27:13 Andy Milonakis Forever part of the show.

27:14 Andy Milonakis Forever, forever.

27:15 Drew I'm pretty good at that final refrain. I like that a lot. Is that what you call it a rap, a refrain? Or what do you call the last part? Well, the forget it. Last part of the rap. Here, this is George's 22. I was the George. So you're Andy Milonakis on the show tonight. It's 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1. What's going on? I'm telling you. It was me.

27:39 Andy Milonakis Just call to say what's up to Andy. That he's doing a good job acting and otherwise.

27:43 Andy Milonakis Thank you, man.

27:44 Andy Milonakis Thanks. I'm a big fan right now. I'm at work right now. Working at Subway.

27:48 Andy Milonakis Really? Where?

27:48 Andy Milonakis Right here in Arcadia, California, man. Just listening to the show.

27:52 Andy Milonakis Arcadia?

27:53 Andy Milonakis Yeah, Arcadia, man.

27:55 Andy Milonakis Arcadia?

27:56 Andy Milonakis You ever been here before?

27:57 Andy Milonakis I never been there, though. Where is it by?

27:59 Drew Sanity to Racetrack?

28:00 Andy Milonakis Yeah, there you go.

28:01 Andy Milonakis Oh. I'm mentally brain dead when it comes to like geography. I don't know where I am.

28:08 Andy Milonakis Yeah, I can tell. It's okay, though. You're young.

28:11 Andy Milonakis It's all good in the hood.

28:12 Andy Milonakis Yeah.

28:14 Andy Milonakis Yeah. Thanks for watching it, man.

28:16 Drew Hey, George, is there any characters you're particularly into on Andy's show?

28:20 Andy Milonakis You know, everything to me is just like funny the way he is and everything he does to me is like comical, new sense and comedy, I guess, from being so young.

28:28 Andy Milonakis Thank you, sir.

28:29 Drew How old are you, Andy?

28:31 Andy Milonakis I'm 58.

28:32 Drew 58. Well, you said he's been so young, George. I'm a little confused.

28:35 Andy Milonakis Well, we all know he's young. Come on now.

28:38 Drew George is 22.

28:39 Andy Milonakis Yeah, I'm 22, man, and I'm just going to school, trying to get my business degree, and that's it.

28:43 Andy Milonakis Do it up, man. Do your thing. Shake your money maker. Shake your money maker. Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh.

28:49 Andy Milonakis Thank you.

28:49 Drew He's probably at that San Anita mall. Is that where you are?

28:52 Andy Milonakis Yeah, there you go.

28:52 Drew Yeah. How about that?

28:54 Andy Milonakis Not that far. If you guys ever stop by, hook you guys up with some sandwiches.

28:57 Andy Milonakis Really? I like Subway.

28:59 Drew I live in Pasadena. I'm a drag. I'm a drag Andy out to the Subway in Arcadia.

29:03 Andy Milonakis Yeah, as long as you guys have cilantro.

29:07 Andy Milonakis I'll take them to you, man. Just let me know when you're going to be there again and I'll go over there.

29:10 Andy Milonakis Only if you have cilantro.

29:12 Andy Milonakis I'll go buy cilantro for you, man.

29:14 Andy Milonakis Oh, man. You're like my soul mate.

29:17 Andy Milonakis I got you, man. Don't worry.

29:18 Andy Milonakis I got you, brother.

29:19 Andy Milonakis All right, man. You have a good one. No problem, man.

29:21 Andy Milonakis Thanks for calling, man.

29:22 Andy Milonakis Thank you.

29:24 Andy Milonakis Word.

29:24 Andy Milonakis All right, man.

29:26 Drew Sandy, you grew up in Queens, is that right?

29:29 Andy Milonakis Westchester County.

29:30 Drew Westchester. Now, people maybe from around the country don't know exactly what that means. That's a pretty exclusive part of New York.

29:38 Andy Milonakis Yeah. It's pretty ghetto in some areas, though.

29:42 Drew Is that where you lived? You lived in the mansions.

29:44 Andy Milonakis No. Where I grew up, it was like people selling crack.

29:50 Drew But like Scarsdale is part of Westchester County.

29:52 Andy Milonakis It is. It is.

29:53 Drew The Marinac and White Plains, all that stuff.

29:55 Andy Milonakis Yeah. Chappaqua, where Clinton lives now.

29:58 Drew Pretty highbrow places, right?

30:00 Andy Milonakis Yeah. But seriously, there's a well, like I'm so into hip hop because there's like a lot of crackheads, like selling records and people break dancing and stuff like.

30:10 Drew Which town was that?

30:11 Andy Milonakis Mount Kisco.

30:12 Drew Mount Kisco.

30:13 Andy Milonakis Yeah. I swear nobody believes it. Like they used to sell crack and tennis balls. They'd cut a slit open a tennis ball. They'd bounce it up to houses. They'd sell it to them. The ladies used to babysit for me. Were like, you know, when I was older, they were coming over my friend's house to score crack.

30:30 Drew Hold on a second. The ladies used to be like, they were like young teenagers or something used to babysit you?

30:34 Andy Milonakis No, no. They were just like, they were adults hooked on crack. They were like, you know, 40 year old ladies.

30:39 Drew And they would, while they were sitting for you?

30:42 Andy Milonakis No, no, not while. But like, I grew up, I lived in that same complex for such a long time. So like, I remember being watched by some of these ladies. And then when I grew up and I was like, you know, getting older, you know, 16, 17.

30:55 Drew So you were figuring out what was going on?

30:56 Andy Milonakis I was figuring out what was going on. You know, some of my friends were selling crack and stuff. And, you know, the ladies would come in and they'd give them more food stamps to get like, to get crack. I'd give you by $20 with a crack. If you give them food stamps, you gotta give them like $35 or whatever.

31:13 Drew Wow.

31:14 Andy Milonakis But yeah, I mean, crack kids would come up to my door with like, trying to sell. No, I never tried any of that stuff.

31:20 Drew You'll forgive me, but crack is whack. But you don't look like somebody that will be hanging around with crackheads.

31:26 Andy Milonakis Yeah. Well, you know, I was dumb then. I mean, good thing I moved. I mean, I went to a good school. It was just like, you know, I wasn't like fear. I didn't fear for my life or anything. I wasn't like, should you have been? No, I mean, it wasn't like people walking around with guns and shooting or anything. It was still Westchester County, but this complex man, it was ghetto boy.

31:45 Drew Well, you keep saying ghetto was a racially mixed.

31:49 Andy Milonakis Yeah, I mean, there was a lot of Hispanic people, a lot of black people, like two white people.

31:55 Drew You and your mom?

31:56 Andy Milonakis Me and my mama and my daddy, my Greek daddy.

31:59 Drew But why didn't you got no play, player?

32:02 Andy Milonakis He owned restaurants and built restaurants and stuff.

32:05 Drew And lived in the projects?

32:07 Andy Milonakis Yeah, pretty much.

32:08 Drew Is that just because he was so tight-fisted and invested in his businesses?

32:12 Andy Milonakis I guess. I don't know. I don't really even know my father. And it's not like he doesn't, you know, it's not like he's not around. It's just like, it's hard. It's, you know, he's a Greek boy. It's hard to really know your father. It seems like he's an alien.

32:29 Drew Is he still working?

32:30 Andy Milonakis Yeah, he's still working.

32:31 Drew Running restaurants?

32:32 Andy Milonakis He's busting his ass.

32:33 Drew In Westchester still?

32:34 Andy Milonakis He's still, yeah, in Westchester and he works in Queens.

32:38 Drew Like, Euro sandwiches or what does he do?

32:40 Andy Milonakis He does. He actually builds restaurants from the inside now.

32:43 Drew Wow.

32:44 Andy Milonakis Yeah.

32:44 Drew He's still...

32:45 Andy Milonakis He's a hard worker. He always worked like, you know, 14 hour days.

32:48 Drew He's still in the project?

32:49 Andy Milonakis No, he lives in a nicer area now.

32:51 Drew That's nice. Any regrets about where they raised you?

32:54 Andy Milonakis I don't know if they have any regrets, but I loved it. I mean, I have so many like funny, like crazy stories that a lot of people don't believe, but just like...

33:02 Drew Let me hear one.

33:06 Andy Milonakis Well, well, this is not really that crazy, but like this character, Peanut Butter Boy, this is when I put peanut butter on my face on the show. It was actually developed from when I was eight years old. I, you know, as a fat kid, I went outside the house sometimes with a jar of peanut butter, and I was just eating it. And this Jamaican guy is like, Yeah, what the guan, boy? Rub it on your face. Let me give you $10. And like he bet me like $10 to smear peanut butter all on my face. And you were eight years old? Yeah, I did it. And he didn't pay me. He's like, get the bomb. But he's like, get out of here. And he didn't pay me. So, you know, a little like weird things like that, you know, that I created this character like called Chunky Peanut Butter Boy.

33:49 Drew And then you said when you hit high school or I guess was college, you sort of didn't care. You weren't into it.

33:54 Andy Milonakis Didn't care about what?

33:55 Drew About your education or?

33:56 Andy Milonakis Oh, no, I was just, you know, I was horrible at school. Like, I think in like ninth grade, my final grade for social studies was a 30.

34:05 Drew Nice. And then you went to junior college.

34:08 Andy Milonakis Yeah. And, you know, I just, it's hard. I'm not like, I'm passionate about some things that I love doing, but like I just couldn't force myself to get into school.

34:20 Drew You had some formal improv training though, right?

34:22 Andy Milonakis Yeah. Yeah. Upright Citizens Brigade. I went there for, you know, I mean, I started doing that after I did my internet site though, with all my videos. So that was, it was basically prompted because I made this, you know, I started making these stupid videos on the internet.

34:37 Drew You were working as an IT guy.

34:39 Andy Milonakis I was working as an IT guy. I was doing these weird comedy videos and I did them for so long that I was like, all right, you know, all this stuff is fun, but I kind of want more from it. So the first class I registered for was a sketch writing class at Gotham. And then after that, I was like, oh, that was really fun. I met a lot of people, you know, I was getting to read my comedy with other people. You know, it was more, it seemed more real. And then I did improv at UCB. Someone recommended it. And then all the while, while I was doing stuff that seemed more real and more real, you know, Jimmy Kimmel found my internet video. So all that other stuff was fun. But like the stuff that really got me out to LA was just the stupid thing that I started with.

35:21 Drew The Super Bowl is gay.

35:23 Andy Milonakis Yeah.

35:24 Drew Genius.

35:25 Andy Milonakis Crazy, crazy.

35:26 Drew Andy Milonakis in the studio. The phone number here is 1-800-LOVE-191. Give us your call. You can talk directly with Andy tonight on Loveline. And we'll be right back. Right. It's Loveline. The phone number here is 1-800-LOVE-191. We got plenty of room for you. Give us a call. You can talk with Andy Milonakis tonight, who will let out a huge F-bomb and then got very serious on us after that. He's telling us a lot about his life and living in the projects. Very interesting.

35:56 Andy Milonakis I'm eating cheesy crisps.

35:59 Drew This is John, 23.

36:01 Yes. Hi. How's it going?

36:03 Drew What's up, John?

36:05 Doing all right. I had a question about my sister. A few weeks ago, she was raped. And well, here's the story. Her husband, she's been married for about four or five years now. Her husband left for work one morning. And one of her neighbors who has a key to the apartment, supposedly a trusted guy, actually broke into her house and raped her while she was asleep. She'd been drugged up on medicine. She'd been sick. She's also handicapped. She had a stroke about 12 years ago.

36:35 Drew Oh my God.

36:36 So there's, when she was 20 years old, she had her first stroke.

36:39 Drew From what?

36:40 You know, yeah, she's got a condition called antiphospholipid syndrome.

36:45 Drew Oh my God. So it's a, it's a positive ANA syndrome. Yeah. They have a foe.

36:50 How are wheels in my family sometimes?

36:51 Drew Yeah. It's a hypercoagulable state. It's called where they just fart. They cluck spontaneously. So anyway, was she, go ahead.

37:00 We, you know, we went to the police. And of course the gentleman that raped her said it was all consensual. I mean, it's, it's really been hell. And the question is, you know, how far can this really go? How, what can the police really do for us? Does that make sense?

37:17 Drew It's, you know, they, only they can tell you that. They can tell you whether they have a case or not.

37:21 Well, I guess the other question I have is, what can I do to make it better for her? You know, I mean, she's, she's afraid to be in her house alone. You know, this guy still lives two doors down.

37:32 Drew Well, that's awful. What's her husband doing for her?

37:35 Well, her husband at first felt very guilty. You know, he stated, you know, he thinks he left the door unlocked, which, you know, allowed this to happen. Uh, and it's, it's rough. Uh, I guess it's, I just don't know what to do for her to, you know, how do you put that at ease?

37:53 Drew Is she able to take care of herself? I mean, is she bedridden and needs care?

37:57 No, no, she can take care of herself. She doesn't drive anymore. She used to drive, but, uh, she's, she can take care of herself. She gets around, she staggers, you know, balance issues, but she's okay.

38:09 Drew Yet another call about a post-traumatic stress disorder, which is what we're talking about here, where people have these traumatic events, they feel powerless, and then after that, they have flashbacks, they feel anxious, they don't feel safe, they get depressed, they have anxiety attacks.

38:23 Exactly. I mean, I, I lent her husband, uh, a firearm of mine that gave them a sense of peace in their household.

38:29 Drew Yeah, that may be for the husband, but for her, this is, this is a neurobiological event. This is something that's happening in her brain.

38:35 And you know, I'm also worried about when the husband's guilt turns to anger.

38:38 Drew Yeah, I know. I'm not sure the phone, the, the, the gun's such a great idea.

38:43 And I agree. I mean, I'm, I'm college education, I understand. Uh, and I guess it's, you know, seek out counseling.

38:51 Drew Yes, there, there are, absolutely. There, listen, there are victims of violent crime resources out there. There are people that just specialize in that, that through the police, they should refer you to somebody, I would think, certainly, if you ask for it. And medication will be part of the treatment. And the other part will be some talk therapies. Andy, you said you had sort of a kind of a panic reaction once, right?

39:10 Andy Milonakis Yeah, yeah, yeah.

39:10 Drew To the telephone? Were you serious about that?

39:13 Andy Milonakis Yeah, I was serious.

39:15 Drew Yeah.

39:15 Andy Milonakis Um, yeah, you should get that gun back, man. I mean, if that leads to anything, isn't it going to come back to you?

39:22 Drew Or, or not back to him, but at the very least, you know, if things just get out of control, it's going to get back to the husband. It's going to make their life worse.

39:29 Andy Milonakis Yeah.

39:29 Drew It's not going to make things better. Here's a question for Andy. This is Justin is 18. Justin?

39:33 Andy Milonakis Yeah.

39:34 Drew What's up?

39:35 Andy Milonakis Nothing. I was wondering if, when you masturbate, do you get pimples on your face?

39:42 Drew Do you?

39:43 Andy Milonakis I do. I don't know. Is that like normal? Am I, is there something wrong with me?

39:49 Andy Milonakis I thought this was a question for me.

39:50 Drew It is. Oh, it is.

39:51 Andy Milonakis Should I put a pancake on my face?

39:53 Andy Milonakis Oh yeah, yeah, put a pancake on your face. It helps, actually. That's the only reason why I put pancakes on my face.

39:59 Drew So you're scared?

40:00 Andy Milonakis Um, no, but really, what's wrong, you know? Can anybody answer this?

40:08 Drew Um, I'll give Andy a chance for a second.

40:09 Andy Milonakis What's wrong with what?

40:11 Drew With the fact that he gets pimples when he masturbates.

40:13 Andy Milonakis After I masturbate.

40:15 Andy Milonakis Right after?

40:16 Andy Milonakis No, I feel like when I wake up the next morning I have a few more.

40:20 Andy Milonakis Really?

40:20 Andy Milonakis Yeah.

40:21 Andy Milonakis Um, try to masturbate with oxy as lubricant.

40:27 Drew That will just control the penile pimples.

40:32 Andy Milonakis Yeah, but maybe it'll work though. Who knows? Stranger things have happened.

40:37 Andy Milonakis Uh, okay, whatever happened to your show, Andy?

40:41 Andy Milonakis It's, uh, we're filming new episodes, uh, right now.

40:44 Drew It's on MTV2.

40:45 Andy Milonakis Okay. Uh, Ralph, get it on.

40:47 Andy Milonakis I'll tell Ralphie that you have a crush on him.

40:50 Andy Milonakis Okay, tell him. Justin.

40:51 Drew Hey, Justin. Justin, here's the deal, dude. Uh, you masturbate regularly, you have pimples regularly. Those are independent events. They're both things that happen nearly every day. It, there is no association that's been studied repeatedly and there's absolutely no connection between that. Your, your, your brain is hooking the two up. But the reality is pimples happen regularly during the week and masturbation is happening regularly during the week. So, it may seem like they're linking up, but they are not.

41:16 Andy Milonakis It's a coinkied ink.

41:18 Drew The reality is there's absolutely no reason in today's world for people you raise to have acne because it's completely treatable. There are multiple treatments available. Just eat your general doctor or a dermatologist can take care of this. The benzoyl peroxide that Andy suggested is a good idea for your face, not for your penis because you can burn the skin of the penis with the benzoyl peroxide.

41:38 Andy Milonakis It might be worth it though. It might be fun.

41:41 Drew Andy can come film you for that. You'll be running around like a maniac, screaming, you know, the F-bomb Andy.

41:47 Andy Milonakis What if you put like Pop Rocks on it? Would that like feel good? You know the popping candy that you put in your mouth that pops?

41:56 Drew Yeah.

41:56 Andy Milonakis If you put, if you got the Pop Rocks and you put them on your penis, would that feel good? Not you personally, I'm asking Dr. Drew.

42:03 Drew Oh, you're asking me that? Yeah. You know, it's funny how young males, young males preoccupy with what they can do to women. You know, there's all these, there's all these, it's called the myths or you've heard young men talk about, oh, we put Pop Rocks inside her, we put mints inside her, or had them in my mouth when we had oral. It's all so much crap that doesn't do anything for women. And yet strangely, you never hear women think, you know, are really thinking about doing that. They're not preoccupied about doing that.

42:33 Andy Milonakis Well, a woman tried to, she said, I wonder how Andy would feel if I spit chocolate frosting in his belly button. And she did it and it made me happy. It was like euphoric feeling.

42:44 Drew Tell me more.

42:46 Andy Milonakis That's it.

42:46 Drew That's the whole story?

42:47 Andy Milonakis That is. It's a boring story.

42:49 Drew So we were talking last night about how girls are kind of throwing themselves at you a little bit now.

42:55 Andy Milonakis A little bit, a little bit. I mean, it's definitely more in LA than in New York.

43:02 Drew Oh, really?

43:03 Andy Milonakis Yeah. Because LA, there's some shady, you know, shady, shady people. And, you know, 90 percent of the people in Hollywood are trying to be in the entertainment industry. And, you know, they see a little fat kid with a show and they're just like, maybe I can warm up to him. He's probably never going to grow this hot.

43:20 Andy Milonakis Maybe we can use him.

43:23 Drew The phone number here is 1-800-LOVE-191. I'm Dr. Drew. He is Andy Milonakis.

43:29 Andy Milonakis I am. I have a secret. I love America.

43:33 Drew Let's hear you rap one more time.

43:35 Andy Milonakis You want it again?

43:35 Drew I want it again.

43:36 Andy Milonakis You want to play back or you want me to read it again?

43:38 Drew I want to hear it again.

43:39 Andy Milonakis Alright, alright. Yo, yo, maybe I can put a little stink on this time. Yo, son, what up? I'm rapping on Loveline. If you in AA, don't drink that wine. If you in overeated, don't touch that swine. If you think Dr. Drew is sexy, damn right, he's fine. Damn right, he's fine. You better use a rubber or you're gonna get hurt. I don't care. Your girlfriend, she's a scuzzy-ass flirt. Don't assume anything because you thought you knew. You're listening to Smell-O-Nakis and Dr. Drew. What up, God?

44:14 Yeah.

44:15 Drew 1-800-LOVE-191. And you can talk to the one and only Smell-O-Smakis. Anything you want the listeners to know out there?

44:23 Andy Milonakis That I have a secret.

44:25 Drew You keep talking about that secret. I'm dying to know what it is.

44:27 Andy Milonakis I love America.

44:31 Drew Andy Milonakis, MTV. MTV2 now, I guess, right?

44:35 Andy Milonakis Yeah, MTV2. MTV2.

44:37 Drew Can you preview for us what any of the upcoming episodes are? I mean, the kinds of skits you've got?

44:42 Bits?

44:45 Andy Milonakis It's kind of, I don't know. I don't know. We might have to keep it a secret.

44:49 Drew All right. Let's take a quick call.

44:50 Andy Milonakis I have a secret.

44:51 Drew This is Chad23. Chad, what's up?

44:53 Andy Milonakis What's up?

44:54 Andy Milonakis What up, Playboy?

44:56 Andy Milonakis I didn't even know Andy Milonakis is going to be on the show tonight, but I'm very glad he is.

45:00 Andy Milonakis Thank you, man. Thanks.

45:01 Andy Milonakis Awesome. He's a pancake face.

45:02 Andy Milonakis I love it.

45:03 Andy Milonakis Thank you, sir. I love you.

45:05 I created my own version.

45:06 Andy Milonakis It's called Bagface.

45:07 Andy Milonakis Bagface? I do that to 20% of the girls that I'm with.

45:11 Drew Hey, Chad, we hang on one second. Can you do that? We have to hold. Chad, I got to put you on hold for one minute. We got to take a quick break. You all right for that? All right, hold on.

45:18 Andy Milonakis Hold on, buddy.

45:19 Drew Just a couple of minutes. Says something about his girlfriend's scent, and we're going to find out what he's referring to.

45:24 Andy Milonakis Maybe she smells like olives, or love, or hate, or rainbows and hate.

45:30 Drew Andy Milonakis at 1-800-LOVE-191 on Loveline. We'll be right back.

45:50 Andy Milonakis Hello, everybody in the world. This is Andy Milonakis and Dr. Drew. And we are on a show called Loveline, where you call up and say, bliggity-blah, my penis feels weird. What's my girlfriend's name? I forgot. She doesn't like me to do it from behind. Maybe she does. Mint condoms taste minty. Berry condoms taste berry. Berry delicious. Back to you, Drew boy.

46:17 Drew That's right. It's 1-800-LOVE-191. We established last night Andy does like it from behind. Isn't that we decided?

46:24 Andy Milonakis Only with the strap on.

46:26 Drew That's what I said. That's right. Only with strap on. I remember now. OK, let's go back to Chad. He's 23.

46:33 Andy Milonakis The Chad man.

46:35 Drew What's going on, Chad?

46:36 Hello.

46:37 Drew You're on with Andy Milonakis.

46:39 Andy Milonakis Andy Milonakis.

46:41 Drew Oh, Chad, come on.

46:42 Andy Milonakis I'm driving. I hope you can hear me. I'm on my cell phone.

46:43 Drew Well, you better like pull over. Your phone's cutting out.

46:46 Caller Pull over.

46:47 Andy Milonakis Pull over.

46:48 Drew I like Andy Shmalkis. Just much better than I know. You're your friend's Anani.

46:52 Andy Milonakis Yeah, I'm going to legally change my name to either that or Gaines O. Schmanzo.

46:57 Drew And Gaines O. Schmanzo is a good one. I like Shmalkis. It just rolls off the tongue. So, Chad, what's going on?

47:02 Andy Milonakis You're saying I real love your tongue.

47:04 Drew It's back to the only with a strap on.

47:07 Andy Milonakis Can you guys hear me now?

47:08 Drew We got you. What's up, Chad?

47:09 Andy Milonakis We're just ignoring you.

47:10 Andy Milonakis Okay. I kind of get kind of a strange thing that's happening to me. I met my girlfriend a few months ago. The first time I went out with her, she smelled kind of not like BO., but she had like a distinct like bodily smell, you know?

47:24 Andy Milonakis Did she smell like minty?

47:26 Andy Milonakis No, not minty. It kind of smells like menstruation.

47:30 Drew Like menstruation?

47:31 Andy Milonakis Yeah, almost like a...

47:32 Andy Milonakis Like cherry flavored menstruation?...

47:33 Andy Milonakis dirty pad kind of smell. But she doesn't, you know, she wears tampons, she wasn't even like on her period or anything. So I was kind of like curious, like if it's like a pheromone, like if it's just like a scent that's like, kind of like a...

47:44 Andy Milonakis Maxi pads make new strawberry, strawberry maxis for, for his pleasure. It's like a scent that comes out.

47:52 Andy Milonakis She doesn't wear pads, though. That's the thing, you know? It's like it wasn't even like she was on her period, you know? I was just kind of like wondering, because I first met her, I was wondering if maybe she had bad hygiene or whatever, but she doesn't, you know?

48:01 Andy Milonakis I have the best idea ever. I have the best idea ever. You know those little juice boxes that are like cherry? Just walk by her, like sip on it, and then when she's not looking, just spit some juice box in her hair, and she'll smell like strawberries for the rest of the day.

48:17 Andy Milonakis Really? I don't think she'd like that.

48:20 Drew She wouldn't like that?

48:21 Andy Milonakis She wouldn't know. She wouldn't know.

48:22 Drew Well, Chad, people, you know, everyone has their own kind of thing, and some people smell a little stronger than others.

48:28 Andy Milonakis And I smell like 45 year old.

48:31 Andy Milonakis If it was something that just like kind of like attract, like not attract, but like was just stronger to me, or if it's like something that's like, I'm kind of wondering if other people can smell it too, or if it's like just something that I can smell.

48:42 Andy Milonakis Well, dogs, dogs can smell periods. You know, well, yeah, yeah, dogs, dogs and wolves can spell periods easier than humans.

48:56 Andy Milonakis So I'm still an animal. You know, we still have that animal.

49:01 Andy Milonakis Yeah, but maybe you're just more like a dog than regular humans are.

49:05 Andy Milonakis Here's something weird, dude. This is what really made me want to call because yesterday, this is kind of strange, kind of out there, but I had gas and when I farted it smelled different than it usually does. But this is serious.

49:16 Andy Milonakis It's just a different kind of smell.

49:17 Andy Milonakis I was just like, this isn't my smell, you know? It doesn't smell like one of my farts, right?

49:22 Drew Were you in her presence at the time or was it you sort of acquired from her?

49:27 Andy Milonakis I was, yeah, I was wondering if it was like, it's kind of, and then last night we were having sex.

49:32 Andy Milonakis You're lying.

49:32 Andy Milonakis It smelled like my fart. Like, I was like, whoa, it kind of freaked me out. Like, seriously, let's go.

49:37 Andy Milonakis This guy is hilarious. You're taking hilarious pills.

49:42 Andy Milonakis What's that?

49:43 Andy Milonakis Are you taking hilarious pills?

49:45 Andy Milonakis No, no hilarious pills.

49:47 Drew Well, Chad, this is the people in...

49:49 Andy Milonakis I totally figured that out.

49:50 Drew I know. I know, I know. There's nothing funny about it.

49:54 Andy Milonakis Okay.

49:55 Andy Milonakis You're having sex with her and it smells like your fart.

49:57 Drew All right, here's the deal. How we perceive smells is highly individual as you're picking up. And yes, indeed, we do sort of acquire one another's scent in the sense that we get used to it and we respond to it and we have certain physiologic reactions to it. It may be that hers is particularly strong. It's probably the case that if it smells strong to you, it's strong to other people too. But what starts happening with time is you start not smelling it actually, but you do start having it sort of incorporated into your connection with her, let's say.

50:28 Andy Milonakis It's weird because one time a girl told me I smelled like cheese doodles, 45-year-old olives and Dr. Drew. Is that weird?

50:39 Drew That's weird. That's weird. Had you farted at that time? Because we spent enough time together that maybe my scent has just...

50:50 Andy Milonakis You know what? You know I told you that yesterday that I wasn't into fart jokes. You made me laugh with the fart jokes. That is props. Just like your wife gave me props for not hating me on the show.

51:00 I'm giving you the props.

51:01 Drew She did not hate you. She liked you. But here's the deal. It's more likely to be your perception of scents that are changing than the actual scents themselves. So don't freak out about this too much. Here is Aaron who just wants to say something directly to Andy. He's 14. Aaron, what's going on?

51:18 Caller Hey.

51:20 Andy Milonakis What's up, boy?

51:21 Andy Milonakis What's up, Andy Milonakis?

51:23 Andy Milonakis How you doing, brother man?

51:25 Andy Milonakis I'm doing great. Word? Yeah, I've just been trying to call forever, trying to say hi to you. Me and my friend Jonathan want to say hi.

51:34 Caller He's not here right now.

51:37 Andy Milonakis He's not here right now. Where is he?

51:39 Andy Milonakis I love your show. Like, just like so stupid, it's funny. I don't know.

51:46 Andy Milonakis Thanks, man. And to show that I really care about my fans, I would love to make funny right now. But since you're a fan of the show, I'm not going to. And, you know, I have a lot of love in my heart for you. And hopefully one day we could play checkers together and maybe eat some Oreos and watch Steel Magnolias. All right on. Except for Magnolia. Is there an S in it? I don't know.

52:09 Drew So next time Shmila Shmakis is in Orlando, Aaron, he's going to check you out, okay?

52:13 Andy Milonakis We're going to go to Disney World together, man. We're going to rock some Mickey Mouse ears together.

52:17 Caller All right.

52:18 Andy Milonakis I love your mouth.

52:20 Drew This is David is 24. David, what's up, buddy?

52:23 Andy Milonakis What's up, playas?

52:25 Andy Milonakis What's up, playboy? How you doing, kid? Yo, I'm from Copton, son.

52:32 Drew What's going on, David?

52:34 Andy Milonakis So I got a question. My girlfriend, we've been together for about three years now. And when we first got together, it was like I was like pulling teeth, just, you know, try to get some.

52:45 Andy Milonakis So then one day we decided we're going to. Who?

52:48 Andy Milonakis You pulled her tooth?

52:50 Andy Milonakis Well, we pulled one of each other's teeth, you know, like I was actually pulling on her teeth in order to try to get some.

52:55 Drew When was this?

52:56 Andy Milonakis So then she decided, okay, let's have a kid. And then all of a sudden I got it like every day in order to have a son.

53:02 Andy Milonakis So then we had our son.

53:03 Drew You know, let me stop you, David, because it's kind of interesting. Women often have an erotic drive with, attached the idea of reproduction. So for men, the idea of reproduction is something they want to avoid, makes them feel nonsexual. For women, it's something that makes them feel more sexual, more driven.

53:18 Andy Milonakis Oh, do it to me. I want to have a baby. Oh, yes, I want to have a baby. You're so sexy. The baby's coming.

53:25 Andy Milonakis And that's the thing.

53:26 Andy Milonakis It's like, oh, I want to have a kid.

53:27 Andy Milonakis And all of a sudden, they're so sexual. And then even while she was pregnant, we got it all the time.

53:31 Andy Milonakis And then now that he has been born, What's his name? Quick.

53:36 Andy Milonakis What's his name?

53:37 Andy Milonakis His name is Nathaniel.

53:38 Andy Milonakis Okay.

53:39 Drew David, after pregnancy for that first year, women will shut down almost completely.

53:43 Andy Milonakis Shut down their walls.

53:44 Drew And if she's continuing to breastfeed, that shut down could even be worse sometimes.

53:50 Andy Milonakis You might want to be like three months ago or six months ago. No, three months ago. Sorry.

53:54 Drew How long ago held the baby?

53:56 Andy Milonakis He's nine months now.

53:57 Drew All right. So things should start coming around a little bit. If they're not, you may want to talk to a gynecologist about it.

54:02 Andy Milonakis If he's nine months, you won't know if you're cheating on her. So you go to like strip clubs and courthouses.

54:08 Drew I'm trying different birth control pills. Sometimes hormones will kind of get things kicked started again. And all kinds of things can go wrong in that first year at postpartum depressions. There's lots of biological changes. And she should be talking to her doctor about sort of restoring that chemistry so she can begin to feel sexual again. It sounds like she's not a very sexual person with you to begin with. So it's certainly going to be better after pregnancy. Aaron 23. Aaron 23.

54:32 Andy Milonakis Hey, what's up, guys? Hey, I had a question for Dr. Drew. What do you think about opioids actually being used for depression instead of SSRI or SNRI? Do you think it's plausible that they could be used?

54:48 Drew It's plausible. It's been in the psychiatric literature. I think it's a horrible idea. Really? Yes. The only people whom I've seen that work for are opiate addicts, who feel as though their depression is being treated, which in reality, what they're doing is really gratifying an addiction. So it works for a while and then the addiction accelerates and then it just spirals out of control.

55:12 Andy Milonakis Right. I know that I've tried a few different antidepressants and they've never really worked for me.

55:19 Drew Well, here's the deal. If you're an addict, no antidepressants work. So you get completely sober at least 6 to 12 months and you're active in a program. Nothing will work as long as you're using. And it sounds like for the people who seek opiates, there's usually a trauma history there. And so the use of the opiate sort of suppresses that all those horrible feelings associated with the trauma. And that's where it seems like it's an antidepressant for you. But really what it is, is an emotional regulator. It just makes everything seem okay, but you're suppressing dysregulation. You're not really using it. It's not really an antidepressant.

55:51 Andy Milonakis And you know what they say, save that trauma for your mama.

55:55 Andy Milonakis Got you Andy. No, but also with opiates, they are dopamine agonists, correct?

56:01 Drew Yeah, but it's the endorphin. Really, if somebody has pure depression, they don't work, in my opinion. It's really trauma survivors managing trauma and dysregulation. That the reason why things feel better and okay on opiates, but I've actually, if that's all there was, then it would be reasonable for it to be used as a therapy. The fact though is I've seen it tried many times, and God knows every opiate addict tries it, and you really need to be sober before you can expect anything to work for you. Lynette, 21, what's up, Lynette?

56:29 Andy Milonakis Hi, is this Dr. Drew?

56:31 Drew Yes, ma'am.

56:32 Andy Milonakis Yes, ma'am.

56:33 Drew You're on with Andy Milonakis. Hang on, Lynette. Hold on. Hold your horses here. It's 1-800-LOVE-191. You're on with... Andy Milonakis.

56:42 I'm sorry? Yes.

56:43 Drew Andy Smilashimakis is on tonight, Lynette.

56:46 Andy Milonakis Hello?

56:47 Drew Okay.

56:47 What's up, Lynette?

56:49 Andy Milonakis Sorry, I ruined you, baby.

56:51 Andy Milonakis Hey.

56:53 Andy Milonakis Actually, I had a question. I'm kind of nervous right now because I've been trying to get through for the past couple of days. Anyway, when I masturbate, I use a hot soup toy.

57:08 Drew What kind of toy?

57:09 Andy Milonakis Electric, you know, vibrating.

57:11 Andy Milonakis General Electric.

57:14 Andy Milonakis Whatever. I use a GE air conditioner to masturbate until I'm totally numb down there. I only masturbate a couple of times a week, but I mean, I like keep going.

57:27 Andy Milonakis That's too much.

57:28 Andy Milonakis Finally, it just gets really numb.

57:30 Is it bad?

57:32 Andy Milonakis That's too much. You're supposed to only masturbate once a year. Haven't you read the book?

57:37 No, no, no, no, no.

57:38 Andy Milonakis I'm talking about, no, I'm talking about the one time that I'm masturbating and that one time.

57:47 Andy Milonakis You only masturbate once a year now?

57:49 Andy Milonakis No, that's not what I'm saying. Can I talk to Drew?

57:54 Andy Milonakis Oh, no, no. Dr. Drew is not here right now. He's masturbating. It's his one time of the year. He's actually getting numb down there too right now. He's using a general electric air conditioner. Okay, well, I kind of would like an answer. All right, I'll give you a straight answer. I'll give you a straight answer. It's supposed to get numb as long as your emotions are in some, okay, Dr. Drew.

58:21 Drew Okay.

58:22 Andy Milonakis An emotion thing, international roller coaster. If your emotion is going through an emotional roller coaster on a motion, a street in Playland or Action Adventure Park, then master numb.

58:35 Drew Lynette?

58:36 Andy Milonakis Yeah?

58:37 Drew Okay, so is what you're saying that you have to masturbate to exhaustion? You have to have multiple, multiple orgasms until you're just exhausted?

58:46 Andy Milonakis Yeah, no, I'm not exhausted.

58:49 Drew Hold on, hold on.

58:50 Andy Milonakis The vibrator is...

58:52 Drew Stay with me. Do you have one orgasm or many?

58:55 Andy Milonakis No, I get many, but...

58:57 Drew Okay, so you keep going until you're basically sort of exhausted, right?

59:02 Andy Milonakis I guess you could say.

59:03 Andy Milonakis You're being greedy.

59:05 Drew You are. Why don't you stop before that? Because then things won't be so...

59:09 Andy Milonakis Because I enjoy it so much. I mean, I don't orgasm through sex.

59:14 Andy Milonakis That's why people weigh 800 pounds if they enjoy cake too much. They weigh 800 pounds if they enjoy orgasming too much. Their vagina is numb. If they enjoy drugs too much, they die, die, die, don't die. Don't let your vagina die. This is an outrage.

59:30 Drew I think you should become a preacher, Andy. There's a career for you there. Moralizing about numb vaginas is really something that's your calling.

59:39 Andy Milonakis Give or take a little. You either have a numb vagina or...

59:42 Drew Well, Lynette, here's the deal. You can actually desensitize yourself. It's not bad. There's nothing wrong with it. But you can make it more difficult to have orgasm with a real person. Now, that's okay. But listen, you can become what's called dependent on the vibrator. So you can start using it with your partner and bring it into the bedroom and that kind of thing. And that's not that big a deal. But you can actually, you can kind of overdo things. So what I'm, what I'm suggesting is...

1:00:06 Andy Milonakis Don't waste your vagina.

1:00:08 Drew Right. I'm suggesting you sort of save it a little bit. Don't, don't go all the way to exhaustion. Learn to sort of, you know, moderate this a little bit. When you start feeling the numbness, back off.

1:00:16 Andy Milonakis It's like a scratch and sniff sticker. After a while, the strawberry just smells like paper and not strawberries anymore.

1:00:23 Drew There's something called a jackhammer neuropathy. Where guys that operate jackhammers and things from all the repetitive, repetitive vibrations, their hands go numb permanently. And we don't want that to happen to your, your...

1:00:35 Andy Milonakis Your nanny, your punani.

1:00:36 Andy Milonakis No, I don't.

1:00:38 Andy Milonakis I just, it was very helpful for me because I just, I was kind of worried after a while.

1:00:44 Drew No, no, it's all, you're healthy, you're healthy, it's a good thing that, yeah, yeah.

1:00:49 Andy Milonakis Oh, yeah.

1:00:50 Andy Milonakis What if you operated a jackhammer with your vagina? Does it, does it go and shake, you know, like, like in the cartoons when they're constantly shaking?

1:01:01 Drew It goes brrrr, brrrr, as she walks away?

1:01:03 Andy Milonakis Because if so, that would be cool. Sign me up, cowboy.

1:01:08 Drew Your concern is appropriate, but let's, let's not injure the nerves down there. It's fine. You're doing a good thing for yourself, but don't go too crazy, all right?

1:01:15 Andy Milonakis Only one, baby, only one.

1:01:17 Drew Well, no, it's, she's not going to stop at one. How many are you good for, by the way?

1:01:21 Andy Milonakis I'm sorry?

1:01:22 Drew How many orgasms do you have when you engage in this action?

1:01:25 Andy Milonakis You know, I don't really keep track.

1:01:28 Drew And we're talking about 30 or 10 or?

1:01:31 Andy Milonakis I'm going to estimate, I think probably about 20.

1:01:35 Drew 20?

1:01:37 Andy Milonakis I don't know, maybe less.

1:01:39 Andy Milonakis How long does it take?

1:01:40 Drew Andy has a very serious, impensive look. He wants to know how long that takes to do 20.

1:01:46 Andy Milonakis Because it takes me about an hour to do 20 pushups. So, if you could orgasm more, if you could orgasm 20 times in an hour, that means something to me.

1:01:59 Drew How long does it take?

1:02:02 Andy Milonakis How long does what take?

1:02:04 Andy Milonakis 20.

1:02:04 Andy Milonakis Well, I usually only masturbate for like 15 minutes.

1:02:08 Andy Milonakis Oh my goodness. You know what? Wouldn't it be awesome if we had an orgasm pushup race? I had to do 20 pushups in an hour, and you had to do 20 orgasms in an hour, and we had a split screen, and we just went for it. That would be pretty awesome to watch, wouldn't it?

1:02:26 Andy Milonakis That was really interesting.

1:02:27 Andy Milonakis How old are you getting, illegal?

1:02:29 Drew 21.

1:02:29 Andy Milonakis I'm 21.

1:02:31 Andy Milonakis We're going to arrange this. It's going to be a pay-per-view event.

1:02:34 Drew All right, Lynette. Good luck, okay?

1:02:36 Andy Milonakis Okay.

1:02:36 Andy Milonakis Thank you so much, Dr. Drew.

1:02:38 Drew All right. Take care.

1:02:38 Andy Milonakis Thank you. What are my chopped liver?

1:02:41 Drew Andy Milonakis, also known as Chopped Liver. 1-800-LOVE-191. Blah, blah, blah. Couples and hey. Okay, here we go. This is Travis, 17.

1:02:51 Caller What's up?

1:02:52 Drew Hey, Travis. What's happening?

1:02:54 Caller Not much. Just hanging out.

1:02:56 Drew 17. 17. He sounds like he's 35.

1:02:59 Andy Milonakis He sounds like he's sexy teen.

1:03:01 Drew What's up, Travis?

1:03:03 Caller Well, there's this girl, man, and I dated her for about two months. And we had a lot of sex, but it's like...

1:03:11 Andy Milonakis Ew.

1:03:13 Caller And she keeps calling and calling. And I don't know how... I'm trying to figure out what to just tell you. I don't want to be mean or nothing, but I just wanted to...

1:03:23 Andy Milonakis Change your number.

1:03:25 Drew Have you continued to have sex with her?

1:03:27 Caller Yeah.

1:03:28 Drew All right, why don't you cut that out? When a young woman...

1:03:30 Caller No, I'm not doing it now. I'm not doing it now.

1:03:33 Drew Good.

1:03:33 Caller But we did a lot.

1:03:36 Drew I know. For her, she's in love with you, Travis. She really is into this relationship and you're going to have to make it clear to her what you're feeling or not feeling and that's okay. You're entitled not to be in love with somebody. Now, realize, how old is she? She's 18. Please say 18. 15. Travis, don't do this to 15-year-olds anymore, okay? She equates the sexual act with love. And she is in. And you may have kind of hurt her this way, so it's good that you understand that and want to let her down easy, but you're going to have to be clear that this isn't working out. If that's the case.

1:04:17 Caller Well, see, the thing is that she cheated on me, you know, and it pissed me off, and that's why I broke up with her.

1:04:22 Andy Milonakis She's 15.

1:04:23 Drew She's trying to make up with her. This sounds like chaos, Travis. Oh, what a mess. Did she have sex with another guy?

1:04:29 Caller Yeah, yeah.

1:04:30 Drew At 15, actually.

1:04:32 Caller What?

1:04:32 Andy Milonakis At 15, having sex with another guy is like, I'm going to have a gumball. No, I'm going to go buy a pair of socks. It's like the same thing to them. Like, they don't know what they're doing. They're 15 years old. You got to, you know, move on.

1:04:46 Drew I don't think you understood what you meant by that. She should be thinking about gumballs and socks, not the next sexual partner. Yeah, Travis, it sounds like a tough situation, and she does not sound like a healthy person. If you want to stay with her, that's fine, but boy, oh boy.

1:05:01 Andy Milonakis That's fine for another year.

1:05:03 Drew Yeah, if you're not into it, be clear about it. It sounds like she wants to make up and keep this relationship going, but I'm going to predict that it's going to continue to be chaos, even if you do hook back up with her. This is Allie, who's 14. Allie?

1:05:15 Andy Milonakis Yeah.

1:05:16 Drew Hey, what's up?

1:05:17 Andy Milonakis Nothing.

1:05:18 Drew You're on with Andy Smellishmockus. What's your other name?

1:05:23 Andy Milonakis Ginzo Schminzo.

1:05:26 Drew Here we go, Allie.

1:05:27 Andy Milonakis All right.

1:05:29 Drew You're on the air.

1:05:30 Andy Milonakis OK.

1:05:34 Andy Milonakis Oh, honk.

1:05:37 Andy Milonakis All right. Well, I've always had a really big stress problem, right? And I've always been really anxious and self-conscious and like, before parties and everything, I'll usually puke because I'm so freaked out by anything. And like, before school in the morning, I'm like, I'm so sleepy.

1:06:01 Drew I'm listening. What happened before school?

1:06:03 Andy Milonakis Like, I just get shaky and sweaty. And I can't not wear, like, t-shirts or anything because I just sweat all over. And I've got to wear, like, two shirts every day.

1:06:12 Drew So what is it? What is it that's making you so panicky? Is it being around other people? Is it being in open spaces? Are you depressed? What's happening?

1:06:21 Andy Milonakis Well, I feel depressed sometimes. And, like, usually it's around other people.

1:06:26 Drew So it's like a social phobia?

1:06:28 Andy Milonakis Yeah.

1:06:29 Drew There's a medicine called Paxil, and that would be controversial to use in somebody your age. But there are things out there that have been suggested for adults to help with social phobia. And, you know, you ought to look into this because this sounds awful.

1:06:42 Andy Milonakis Yeah.

1:06:42 Drew Is there any reason you're fearful of other people?

1:06:46 Andy Milonakis I don't know why. I've just been this way since I was like 11, actually.

1:06:50 Andy Milonakis Do kids pick on you at school?

1:06:53 Andy Milonakis No. I'm not really cool, but I'm not like a loser either, so.

1:06:56 Andy Milonakis I think you're cool, personally.

1:06:59 Andy Milonakis Thank you.

1:07:01 Drew Does that reduce your anxiety to hear that, or does that?

1:07:04 Andy Milonakis Not really.

1:07:05 Drew You just dismissed. You have self-esteem problems too?

1:07:07 Andy Milonakis Yeah. Like, I mean, even right now, I'm just shaking and sweating just because I'm actually talking to somebody else.

1:07:14 Drew Were you traumatized growing up? Were you neglected? Did anything happen to you?

1:07:19 Andy Milonakis No.

1:07:20 Drew Your parents are still around? Have you told them about all this?

1:07:25 Andy Milonakis My dad knows. He was always kind of like this too, but not this bad.

1:07:28 Drew Yeah. It sounds like a constitutional thing, like something that's really sort of part of your chemistry.

1:07:33 Andy Milonakis What do you think is bad could happen by just talking to someone? I'm like, what are your fears? What are you afraid of?

1:07:41 Andy Milonakis I don't even know when I'm really afraid of them.

1:07:45 Andy Milonakis Like, you know what I mean?

1:07:46 Drew It's not like a real fear. It's anxiety. So there's nothing directed about it. It's just anxiety flying around. Allie, I would really urge you to try to get some professional help with this. Why not? You're suffering with it. It sounds like it's in your family. It's a genetic thing in your situation. You have no trauma. Things like talking and all are, of course, helpful. You learn to be close to people and regulate these feelings a little bit. It sounds like something neurobiological. It could even be something medical, like a thyroid condition or God knows what. Please, let's go get this. Tell your dad or mom you want to do something about this and get it taken care of. This is Jennifer, 21.

1:08:21 Andy Milonakis Hi. I'm from Texas and I'm dating an older man. He's 40. And I'm wondering why he's unable to orgasm when I go down on him.

1:08:36 Andy Milonakis Don't they say life starts at 40?

1:08:38 Drew In this guy's case. All right, Jennifer, we're suspicious about this guy's. But hold on a second. We got to take a break, OK? OK. Can you hang on? We're going to get to the bottom or the top or whatever of this.

1:08:49 Andy Milonakis Yeah.

1:08:50 Drew You're on with Andy Shmuelishmockus, those of you that have been lucky enough to get through on 1-800-LOVE.

1:08:54 Andy Milonakis Lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky town.

1:08:57 Drew 1-800-LOVE-191. I'm Dr. Drew. This is Loveline and we will be right back. 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:09:08 Operators are standing by.

1:09:09 Caller Loveline will be back in a minute. Hi, everybody.

1:09:16 Andy Milonakis Everybody in the world, everybody in a different world, not the old show with Dwayne Wayne. This is Andy Milonakis and Dr. Drew and Loveline. Loveline, call us and talk about your privates.

1:09:30 Drew And 1-800-LOVE-191. We were talking to Jennifer, who is 21, with a 40-year-old guy. And what was it you were telling us about him?

1:09:37 Andy Milonakis He's sexy.

1:09:39 Andy Milonakis He's not able to orgasm when I go down on him.

1:09:42 Andy Milonakis What a loser. No, I'm just kidding.

1:09:44 Drew There are those guys. There are definitely those guys. Have you been having... Yeah, yeah. Have you been having sex with this guy also?

1:09:50 Andy Milonakis Yes.

1:09:51 Andy Milonakis Yes.

1:09:51 Andy Milonakis I'm actually pregnant.

1:09:53 Andy Milonakis Ooh, sexy time.

1:09:55 Drew And he has no trouble when he's doing that then, right?

1:09:58 Andy Milonakis No, no, not at all.

1:10:03 Drew There's 21 too. There is that guy.

1:10:05 Andy Milonakis I mean, he says he really enjoys it and everything. I mean, he says I'm excellent at it and...

1:10:11 Andy Milonakis Well, you are pretty good at it.

1:10:14 Andy Milonakis I mean, is there anything I could do differently, do you think?

1:10:17 Drew No, don't bother. He's happy. Listen, one thing about men is they will tell you what their sweet spot is. They're very clear about getting to that place. And he's fine. He doesn't like oral as much as inner chorus, and he actually doesn't climax with it, and that's fine. He's good with that, okay?

1:10:34 Caller Maybe she's trying to keep him away from his old gray hairy balls.

1:10:41 Andy Milonakis That's sexy. Did he... Does he have salt and pepper down there?

1:10:47 Caller Do what?

1:10:48 Andy Milonakis Salt and pepper, salt and pepper?

1:10:50 Andy Milonakis No.

1:10:52 I don't know what you mean by that.

1:10:54 Andy Milonakis How about paprika or cumin? No. Does he complain about it? Does he say like you're not doing it right or you're just insecure? No, he said he loves it.

1:11:03 Andy Milonakis I mean, I can't eat bread.

1:11:06 Andy Milonakis Do you think that would change it?

1:11:07 Drew No, no. In turn, if we stop, come on, stop, cut it out. You must have had a boyfriend that was really into it, and that's why you figured all men are totally into that. All men like it, not all men are as into it as others, okay?

1:11:18 Andy Milonakis Okay.

1:11:19 Andy Milonakis Are you really into it?

1:11:20 Drew All right, thanks. We're going to check with Brittany. It's 14. Brittany?

1:11:23 Andy Milonakis Yeah.

1:11:24 Drew 14, huh?

1:11:25 Andy Milonakis Yep.

1:11:26 Andy Milonakis I hope you're plugging your ears on that last call. No, I didn't know. It was naughty.

1:11:32 Drew What's up with you?

1:11:33 Andy Milonakis Just chilling. Did you hear from a call from Aaron recently?

1:11:38 Drew Yeah, Aaron called.

1:11:39 Andy Milonakis Yeah, he's on the line. It's Jonathan.

1:11:42 Drew Hey, guys, what's up?

1:11:43 Andy Milonakis Hey.

1:11:45 Drew Oh, wait, Jonathan was his friend, remember? Yeah. He's the one you're going to go to Orlando to...

1:11:50 Andy Milonakis Yeah, Mickey Mouse. Play checkers with any Oreos and watch Steel Magnolias.

1:11:54 Andy Milonakis Wow, you remembered. You know what?

1:11:55 Andy Milonakis Oh, yeah.

1:11:56 Andy Milonakis I love you.

1:11:57 Andy Milonakis I love you, too.

1:11:59 Andy Milonakis I love you more.

1:12:00 Drew So what's up with Brittany?

1:12:02 Andy Milonakis I wanted to ask her. Boyfriend has like his head on the penis is bigger than the shaft.

1:12:14 Drew Brittany, 14. Really? Really?

1:12:17 Andy Milonakis Yeah.

1:12:19 Drew You're thinking about this stuff at 14?

1:12:21 Andy Milonakis Yeah.

1:12:23 Drew Come on. Andy, please help this girl. She's more closer to your age than mine.

1:12:27 Andy Milonakis Did those two boys you're talking to tell you to say that?

1:12:31 No.

1:12:32 Andy Milonakis Come on. Not really. Come on, admit it. If you admit it, if you admit it, we'll give you 10 points. Okay. Did you tell her to say it? Please tell me.

1:12:44 Andy Milonakis I didn't. No.

1:12:45 Drew Jonathan did. Jonathan did.

1:12:48 Andy Milonakis Who told you to say it?

1:12:51 Andy Milonakis I said it.

1:12:53 Drew So you've been having sex with guys?

1:12:55 Andy Milonakis No.

1:12:55 Drew Or your boyfriend? You've just seen his penis. You've just seen it. Yes, that's normal. That's very common. Yes, that's very common.

1:13:05 Andy Milonakis Okay. Okay. Hang on a second. Pancake.

1:13:07 Andy Milonakis Come on.

1:13:08 We're extra happy.

1:13:10 Drew What? Oh, pancake. Andy, I have something to tell you, Brittany.

1:13:14 Andy Milonakis Yes.

1:13:15 Andy Milonakis I have a secret.

1:13:23 Drew Beth, 25.

1:13:25 Andy Milonakis Hi Dr. Drew.

1:13:26 Drew Hey Beth, what's going on?

1:13:28 I just want to tell you, well, first of all, I listen to your show every night when I got up work and I absolutely love you guys, I think you're still great.

1:13:34 Andy Milonakis Oh my god, PS for serious.

1:13:38 Drew What's up?

1:13:40 It sounds so stupid. My ex-boyfriend and I, we were together for probably about a year and a half. And he's a little bit older than me, he was actually thirty-two years old, so I figured he'd be a little bit more mature than me. We broke up about five months ago and ever since then, we've been sleeping together still. And he's been with other people also. I unfortunately haven't been able to kind of move on and be with someone else, but...

1:14:05 Drew Well, Beth, hold on a second. You're still sleeping with your ex-boyfriend, right?

1:14:08 Yeah, I am.

1:14:10 Drew This is the stupid part, right?

1:14:12 Yeah, it's the stupid part.

1:14:13 Drew Okay. It's hard, right? It's hard when you're alone and you don't want to let go. And of course, he's more than willing to sleep with you because he's having sex.

1:14:20 Andy Milonakis He's a dude.

1:14:21 Drew He's having sex. What's not in it for him? He's out of the relationship. He's been released. He's on the market and he's having sex whenever he wants it. Fantastic.

1:14:31 Andy Milonakis Vajayjay.

1:14:33 Drew But you, on the other hand, stay connected with this guy and that's why you're really not available for other relationships because you're so emotionally tied up with this guy. And it's really hard to have sex with somebody and then go out on a date. It's very, you've got to get over this one. You've got to end contact. You've got to change your whatever, change your email, your phone number, just delete him.

1:14:52 Andy Milonakis Well, we're kind of, that's kind of been an itchy right now.

1:14:54 I mean, we have some kind of finances that are involved together and it's kind of hard to just cut ties when...

1:15:00 Drew You have what together?

1:15:01 We have finances together. We lived together. We had lived together at the time that we broke up and things were still kind of in my name and he still kind of owed me money for certain things and...

1:15:11 Drew You know what? As much as you can, cut your losses. Because the emotional expense is far greater than any financial expense. You're incurring right now. Get him out of there. If it's in your name, get him out and get on with it. And if he owes you money, forget it. It's a loss. It's well worth the investment of getting your dignity back.

1:15:31 Andy Milonakis It's like the Bronx Tale when the kid owed him 20 bucks and he kept chasing him.

1:15:34 Drew It's really...

1:15:35 Andy Milonakis And he's like, hey, you like this guy? No? Good for 20 bucks. He's out of your life.

1:15:41 Drew It's really why it's important to keep clear boundaries and relationships. Don't take on a pet together and multiple financial sort of endeavors together because you're not married. You're sort of thinking, well, this is... Yeah, I understand you were thinking like you were on the road to marriage, but you're not married. And don't do that. Keep your boundaries clear until you really are married.

1:16:07 Andy Milonakis And if you have a Chia pet, make sure that you get equal visitation rights.

1:16:11 Drew No, no, no. She needs to have complete custody.

1:16:14 Andy Milonakis Okay.

1:16:14 Drew Custody of the Chia pet.

1:16:15 Andy Milonakis Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia.

1:16:17 Drew All right, Beth. You know what you got to do. You know, you know.

1:16:20 Andy Milonakis You just want to hear from a sexy man with nice glasses.

1:16:23 Yeah, that's exactly it.

1:16:25 Andy Milonakis And his name rhymes with Dr. Schmoo.

1:16:30 Drew And you need to keep your friends around you. You need support. You need people like us who say, Hey, come on. On your own, you're going to cave to this guy. So keep your friends close, okay?

1:16:41 Andy Milonakis Cave, no pun intended. All right.

1:16:44 Andy Milonakis I'm safe.

1:16:45 Drew Bye. Andy, you said cave.

1:16:49 Andy Milonakis Bring me this butt head back.

1:16:51 Drew Sarah, 22.

1:16:52 Andy Milonakis Hey, guys. I got a question. I've been with my girlfriend now for five months.

1:16:58 Andy Milonakis Oh, hot stuff.

1:17:00 Andy Milonakis She's not able to get me off. And I've tried telling her how to, and she takes offense to it.

1:17:07 Drew What do you tell her?

1:17:09 Andy Milonakis Well, because I had it pierced before, and it's like I lost... It's very sensitive in one area, and I try to tell her to move upwards.

1:17:19 Andy Milonakis What is it?

1:17:20 Andy Milonakis I had my clip pierced.

1:17:22 Andy Milonakis Oh, thank you. I just wanted to say it.

1:17:24 Drew I do not like renegs and ham.

1:17:26 Andy Milonakis I do not like vagueness.

1:17:28 Andy Milonakis I like to hear the word.

1:17:32 Andy Milonakis The word makes me happy. It puts the lotion on its skin. It puts it in the basket.

1:17:39 Drew And that was Bill Cosby for this clip today.

1:17:41 Andy Milonakis I was going to say it's time.

1:17:47 Andy Milonakis I try to tell her to go up with it, and she takes the fence, or she's like, I'm not doing it right, and this and this and that.

1:17:53 Andy Milonakis Maybe she likes dudes.

1:17:55 Andy Milonakis No, no, no, no.

1:17:58 Drew I don't understand. Is it how you're giving her? Are you commanding her? Are you ordering her to do things? Is she feeling threatened by that or vulnerable? Or are you able to sing gently, here, come on over here?

1:18:08 Andy Milonakis She wants to do it. Like, she, like, I hardly ever let her do anything to me because it's not fun for me. Like, she's not getting me off. I do it myself and I'm fine. But when she tries to get me off, it just doesn't happen.

1:18:23 Andy Milonakis Yeah. Tell her to take a refresher course. I think they give classes, um, where do you live? Oh, yeah. Um, at Disney World, I think they give, uh, Clip Stimulation Refresher Courses.

1:18:38 Drew I heard that Flick the Moon Ride is really good.

1:18:40 Andy Milonakis Yeah, it's, you know.

1:18:41 Drew Okay. Sarah, listen, and why did you try it this way? It's really, it's getting her to listen to your needs without feeling defensive. So is there some time when you guys are sort of communicating well, that you could sort of say, look, I just want to, I want to explain something to you. I know how to do this and it's hard. I know it's uncomfortable to hear, but just let me just explain, just make sure you get this, because it's really important to me that we sort of have this kind of connection. Okay?

1:19:07 Andy Milonakis Well, I mean, I've tried everything and like I told her, I was like, if you want to please me like you say that you do, then just let me tell you how I want it done.

1:19:15 Drew All right, but Sarah, you're already starting off with a very aggressive tone. It's like, if you want to do that, it's like, look, this is important that we share this together. I want to just, I just want to tell you how this works for me. And it's very hard for her to hear it, but please just, just, just sit there and listen just for one second. And don't tell her when you're in the throws of battle there in the bedroom. That's not going to go well at all. This is Laurel, 17.

1:19:36 Andy Milonakis Hey.

1:19:37 Drew Hey, Laurel. You're on with Andy Schmelzman.

1:19:43 Andy Milonakis And she's on this breath control at the shot.

1:19:47 Drew Depot shot?

1:19:48 Andy Milonakis Yeah.

1:19:49 Drew Okay. When she gets that shot, she will bleed continuously for about three months, and then her period will go away completely. That's how that shot works.

1:19:58 Ouch.

1:20:00 Andy Milonakis Okay.

1:20:00 Drew What's your question?

1:20:02 Andy Milonakis She didn't want to call herself, so.

1:20:04 Drew The doctor didn't tell her that?

1:20:06 No.

1:20:07 Drew Weird, because that's how it works. And sometimes the bleeding can go up to six months.

1:20:10 Andy Milonakis Dr. Drew just nailed it. He didn't even listen to your question. He was like, blow! That's what's going on. He just knocked it out. He was like, blow! Blow! He pulled out a shotgun, and he just shot some truth into your dome.

1:20:26 Drew Here's the other thing about that shot, is it can make some people kind of depressed. It can kind of shut them down sexually. So it's not for everybody. And a lot of people get freaked out by this bleeding and then not bleeding. That has no implications whatsoever for their health. It's very safe, and it's an excellent birth control if you don't have other side effects.

1:20:42 Caller Okay.

1:20:43 Drew All right, Laurel, that's it.

1:20:45 Andy Milonakis And she said that she might gain weight.

1:20:48 Andy Milonakis Is that true?

1:20:49 Drew Usually not from depo. Usually not. It is possible, but usually not.

1:20:53 Andy Milonakis Only from Johnny depo. He makes you feel bad about yourself and-

1:20:57 Drew Because you eat chocolate. You eat a lot of chocolate. He runs a chocolate factory.

1:21:01 Andy Milonakis Yeah. Right? That was, you know, that was up high. That was a different level.

1:21:09 Drew Smell Smokers in here tonight. 1-800-LOVE-191. You want to throw out the commercial there, Andy?

1:21:14 Andy Milonakis 30 Talk will be right back after me and Dr. Drew find out the meaning of life.

1:21:21 Drew Excuse me?

1:21:21 Andy Milonakis Loveline is coming back in a minute.

1:21:23 Andy Milonakis Yo, don't go nowhere.

1:21:35 Drew That's right, Andy Smellishmockers in here with us tonight of 1-800-LOVE-191. McCall, Loveline.

1:21:44 Andy Milonakis I'm going right to the phone.

1:21:45 Drew This is Travis. He is 20. Travis?

1:21:50 Andy Milonakis Hello?

1:21:51 Drew Hey, you're on with Andy Smellishmockers.

1:21:53 Andy Milonakis How's it going?

1:21:54 Andy Milonakis What's up, yo? How you doing, kid? Yo, look out, look out, yo, yo, yo.

1:21:59 Andy Milonakis I'm doing pretty good.

1:22:00 Andy Milonakis I don't know who that was. I have multiple personalities.

1:22:04 Drew Mootie.

1:22:04 Andy Milonakis Okay, it's all good. Hey, I got a question for you guys.

1:22:08 Drew Yep.

1:22:09 Andy Milonakis Okay, me and my girlfriend were having sex and she was on top and then, like, she said she got off, but when I stood up, it ran off me like pee and there was a whole lot of it and it turned out that she had peed on me.

1:22:24 Drew No, she didn't pee. Women can sometimes sort of orgasm. They can have an ejaculation.

1:22:32 Andy Milonakis They can what?

1:22:33 Drew They can have an ejaculation. They can have fluid come out.

1:22:35 Andy Milonakis Right, but this was urine.

1:22:36 Drew How do you know?

1:22:37 Andy Milonakis Because, like, it smelled like it.

1:22:39 Andy Milonakis Yeah, like, yeah.

1:22:41 Andy Milonakis That's not nice.

1:22:42 Andy Milonakis Right.

1:22:44 Drew It smelled like urine?

1:22:44 Andy Milonakis I mean, is that common? Because she said she couldn't control it and it was an accident.

1:22:49 Drew She knew that she peed.

1:22:49 Andy Milonakis Because she was just trying to get off.

1:22:51 Drew She knew that she peed.

1:22:53 Andy Milonakis Yeah.

1:22:54 Drew Well, that's female orgasmic incontinence. It's not unheard of by any stretch. It usually happens to people that have had children. Has she ever had a baby?

1:23:01 Andy Milonakis No.

1:23:02 Drew It's less common to women that have not had children.

1:23:05 Andy Milonakis Are you saying you think she tried to do it to fake an orgasm?

1:23:08 Andy Milonakis No. I don't think she tried to do it. At least I hope that she didn't try to. She said that she swore up and down it was an accident. She told me what she was trying to do was get off. And then she squeezed out some urine or something.

1:23:22 Drew All right. Well, there you go. What's the big deal?

1:23:24 Andy Milonakis Well, I mean, is that like...

1:23:25 Andy Milonakis Big deal is how is he going to get his sheets clean?

1:23:28 Andy Milonakis Right. Like, I don't know. I just found that to be... It freaked me out, man, you know? And I didn't know if it's like the only time it's ever happened or if it's ever happened before.

1:23:38 Drew All listeners, whatever is happening to any of you, it's not the first time.

1:23:42 Andy Milonakis I just think there are a million people out there who would pray for that to happen.

1:23:46 Andy Milonakis Right.

1:23:46 Drew It has a name, Travis, called female orgasmic incontinence. And I just told you it's common in women that have had babies. It's less common in women that haven't. And it happens.

1:23:54 Andy Milonakis It's also called sexy.

1:23:57 Andy Milonakis Okay.

1:23:58 Drew All right. There you go. This is Kenneth, 15. Kenneth?

1:24:04 Caller Yeah.

1:24:05 Andy Milonakis Hi, dude. What's up?

1:24:09 Caller Yeah, dude. I got a question. Okay. There's this girl at school, right? And she's like really, really popular.

1:24:20 Andy Milonakis Is it Lindsay Lohan?

1:24:22 Caller No. No, man. Her name is Brittany.

1:24:26 Andy Milonakis And Britney Spears?

1:24:27 Drew No. What's the question, Kenneth?

1:24:30 Caller Okay. Yeah. All right. This girl's like really, really popular and like super hot.

1:24:37 Andy Milonakis She's probably a bitch.

1:24:39 Caller And I'm the kind of guy who really isn't that popular in school. And I'm wanting to know how I would go about asking her out.

1:24:48 Drew Why aren't you that popular?

1:24:50 Caller Well, it's kind of an awkward thing.

1:24:57 Drew What's the problem?

1:24:59 Caller It's just things have happened to me in the past. Like I would get picked on and that.

1:25:08 Drew Okay. Well, first of all, that was the S word there, Anderson. So Kenneth got to put you on hold for dropping a little S bomb there. So part of the problem may be, maybe you're not picking up social cues and self-aware and that kind of good stuff. If you don't have a lot of good friends, and we could easily say, hey, Kenneth, you just get your S together and just pick up your courage and go talk to this girl, I don't think that'd be a very responsible thing for us to tell you, frankly.

1:25:39 Andy Milonakis And it's usually easy to say that if it's a girl in high school and she's really hot and really popular, most likely she's a bitch. And it's not just girls, I mean, the guys, the opposite side and the guys that are really popular, really good looking, they're probably idiots, you know, like that's just usually how it works.

1:26:00 Drew But even without disparaging other people, I would at least say that if she's really popular, she has lots of opportunity and she undoubtedly has boyfriends or sees other people and if she were into you, you'd know it. Do you know what I mean? The word would get around to you. You can certainly send out some feelers, sort of send out, maybe talk to a friend of hers, what are the possibilities. But before you put yourself in a position where you really feel bad because you get sort of shut down, do some research. Check, check. Wouldn't you agree, Andy?

1:26:36 Andy Milonakis I agree, because giving you false hope and saying, just do it, man. You never know what she's going to say. Maybe she'll like you.

1:26:43 Drew Maybe she will.

1:26:44 Andy Milonakis Maybe she will, but don't get false hope by that.

1:26:47 Drew Right, because it can be very painful to get up everything you've got to go.

1:26:52 Andy Milonakis Kids are cruel. Welcome to the dollhouse. Go rent that and see how cruel people are.

1:26:57 Drew But do go ahead and do your research and see what you can find out about her, but accept reality. If you find out she has a boyfriend or she's not really interested, if you don't hear anything, if all you hear, excuse me, if you don't hear, she would be very excited about that, anything other than that, don't do it.

1:27:15 Andy Milonakis Also think about why you like her. Is she like this celebrity to you that like is really hot, really popular, like you know, you hold her on a pedestal or do you like her because like you know the type of person she is, you know that she's good looking, but you also know who she is and you know things about her that make you like her. Is she some like unreachable target or you know?

1:27:35 Caller Yeah, it's kind of like that.

1:27:36 Andy Milonakis Yeah, see that's...

1:27:37 Caller It's like, I mean I like her and I know that she's like a really nice, sweet type of girl that wouldn't take...

1:27:46 Andy Milonakis Have you ever talked to her?

1:27:48 Caller Yeah, I mean I've talked to her.

1:27:50 Drew Oh good, all right, so kind of do some research, lay some groundwork before you put it all on the line, okay? All right. Keep talking to her, maybe someday there will be more opportunity. Stay close to her, hang around. Men are really good at that. They're getting sort of being the friend and hanging out and women are always so bewildered by when they break up with their boyfriend and one thing leads to another. I don't understand it. All of a sudden there he was and he was available for me.

1:28:16 Andy Milonakis He was just like my good friend and then we just started making out and it was okay because I was broken up and he was there for me through all my hard times and then he put his penis in me.

1:28:27 Drew Have you ever done that? Have you ever been the good friend?

1:28:30 Andy Milonakis I am every day.

1:28:32 Drew Why? Have you ever done it?

1:28:35 Andy Milonakis I don't really have that kind of a scheming mind. I mean I'm friends with a lot of girls.

1:28:39 Drew But there are a lot of girls that guys, young guys particularly, are friends with girls because they first were attracted to them and then there was no reciprocation and so they kind of hang out.

1:28:48 Andy Milonakis Yeah. I mean yeah.

1:28:49 Drew But they keep hanging. They keep hanging. They're waiting. They're biding their time.

1:28:52 Andy Milonakis Sometimes you're waiting and buying it but sometimes you're just like, oh, they're really hot and then you're just like, well, I'm not going to get lucky with them but they're cool.

1:28:59 Drew Well, eventually it just becomes Jill. You know what I mean? It just becomes that person.

1:29:03 Andy Milonakis Yeah.

1:29:03 Drew It's no longer the-

1:29:04 Andy Milonakis Jill, that you want to make sweet love to.

1:29:08 Drew All right. This is Colleen 15. 15. Colleen, what's up?

1:29:11 Andy Milonakis Yeah.

1:29:13 Drew Hey there. What's happening?

1:29:15 Andy Milonakis I had a question about my sexuality.

1:29:20 Andy Milonakis A lot of my friends-

1:29:21 Drew You're a lesbian.

1:29:22 Andy Milonakis Well, if I was bisexual.

1:29:25 Drew You're bisexual. You're a lesbian. So bisexual means something happened to you. What happened to you?

1:29:30 Andy Milonakis Well-

1:29:31 Drew The fact that you're declaring yourself bisexual at 15, what happened?

1:29:35 Andy Milonakis Well, I don't know. I've talked to my mom about it. I've never told her. Like, I've never told her that I might think I'm bisexual, but-

1:29:42 Drew What happened to you? Were you sexually abused, physically abused? What happened?

1:29:47 Andy Milonakis Nothing really. I wasn't really sexually abused, but, like, in second or third grade, my best friend, like, my only best friend, Jessica, she, like, made me, like, get naked and stuff and-

1:30:03 Drew Okay, that's called sexual abuse. And child on child sexual abuse is very common. It means that she was sexually abused by an adult, and if there was actually directed sexuality in that encounter, like, she was sort of really- it was actually sexual. It wasn't just sort of experimentation. That is something that needs to be addressed. That's very- that can be very traumatizing, create a lot of confusion, and it seems like that's kind of what you're dealing with. So this is not about you just magically becoming bisexual. This is still the consequence of all that early trauma. And you may- what you should tell your mom about is not declaring you're major at 15, what am I, but talk to her about having had that trauma. Maybe she can get you some help with that.

1:30:42 Andy Milonakis Dirty talk. It's dirty talk.

1:30:45 Drew We actually have to take a break. Maybe we can hear that rap one more time before we sign off tonight. So we're going to be back in just a minute with Andy Schmelzschmackis. Excuse me.

1:30:53 Andy Milonakis Loveline's coming back in a minute.

1:30:54 Andy Milonakis Yo, don't go nowhere.

1:31:07 Drew Well, that about does it for Loveline and Andy Smellishmockus.

1:31:11 Andy Milonakis I have a secret. I love America.

1:31:14 Drew Do you love Loveline?

1:31:16 Andy Milonakis I love, love, love, love, love Dirty Talk.

1:31:18 Drew We will have you back on Dirty Talk soon. Thank all of you for participating tonight. This is Dr. Drew, then, on behalf of Andy Smellishmockus, saying good night and stay well.

1:31:28 Andy Milonakis Thank you. Yo, son, what up? I'm rapping on Loveline. If you in AA, don't drink that wine. If you in overeated, don't touch that swine. If you think Dr. Drew is sexy, damn right, he's fine. Damn right, he's fine. Damn right, he's fine. You better use a rubber or you're gonna get hurt. I don't care. Your girlfriend, she's a scuzzy ass flirt. Don't assume anything, cause you thought you knew. You're listening to Smellinakis and Dr. Drew. What up, God?

1:31:58 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in the show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for . Loveline. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, November 30, 2005