Episode 1000736932354

0:15 Voiceover 1-800-LOVE-191 Love Line starts now.

0:21 Voiceover Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. I'm Dr. Drew. He is Rob Schneider.

0:27 Rob Schneider Loveline, yes, day three.

0:29 Drew Day three. Wow. Day three. You seem to have kind of settled in. You're calm now.

0:33 Rob Schneider Yeah, you know what, I feel like, you know, last night was a really great show. And I think we peaked, but it's going to be tough to beat. But we'll see how it goes.

0:40 Drew We, Rob and I did a little promo here in Los Angeles for the show just before we went on the air. And I mentioned that there was a peak. There was sort of a moment in the show last night that really, peak, I think, is the right word.

0:50 Rob Schneider Okay, all right.

0:51 Drew Just learning about your relationship with the finger and the took eye and the prostate. Very interesting. I've never really met a guy that was into that stuff. And I'm just, I'm pleased to know that you're...

1:02 Rob Schneider I'm curious about it.

1:03 Drew Curious and liberated and just...

1:05 Rob Schneider Open-minded.

1:06 Drew Living large.

1:06 Rob Schneider Yeah, you only live once.

1:08 Drew That's good. All right, so Benchwarper's coming up. That's your next movie, right?

1:11 Rob Schneider Benchwarper's, yeah.

1:12 Drew You want to tell me what you told me about that a few minutes ago or something?

1:14 Rob Schneider It was a nice screening. They had out in Thousand Oaks. I want to thank everybody who went to that. And I heard that they liked the movie a lot, so that's good. Adam Sandler worked really hard on that. He wrote it with the great Alan Covert, hello, and then Nick Swartson. And who else is in it? The great David Spade, John Heater from Napoleon Dynamite, John Lovitz.

1:41 Drew Where'd you film it?

1:43 Rob Schneider Here in LA. It was really nice to shoot a baseball movie.

1:45 Drew A film shot in LA.

1:46 Rob Schneider I know, I know, it was great. But so I'm really happy for that. And the guys at Revolution and Sony are doing that movie.

1:53 Drew Then on November 29th, Deuce Bigelow, European Jiggle comes out on DVD.

1:59 Rob Schneider Yes, it invades the video stores.

2:01 Drew And I think everybody knows Rob Schneider. Right, and do people still, you know, you know how time kind of moves along. Does your SNL characters, do people still talk to you?

2:11 Rob Schneider Not much anymore. Most of the kids today don't remember from SNL. I still get the occasional, you're Paulie, sure, aren't you? I get that. I'm sure he must get that. It must be worse for him. Paulie, you were great in Deuce Bigelow. You must get that. That must bug him.

2:26 Drew All right, let's take some calls. How about that? Yeah?

2:28 Rob Schneider Yeah.

2:29 Drew All right, here we go. This is now, let's see. Oh my goodness. This is Emily, 22.

2:37 Rob Schneider Okay.

2:37 Rob Schneider Hi. Hi.

2:38 Rob Schneider Hi, what's up?

2:40 Rob Schneider I have a job where I take care of adult handicapped people, different developmental disabilities.

2:47 Rob Schneider Yeah.

2:48 Rob Schneider Good times. And one of the girls was going to the bathroom and she was playing in her feces.

2:56 Rob Schneider Playing?

2:57 Drew Yeah, that's an interesting thing. I had a severely autistic kid I treated once who was on medication and they couldn't figure out why he kept getting toxic on his medication because he had was eating the old feces.

3:08 Rob Schneider Wow.

3:09 Drew It's called coprophagia. When he wasn't eating it, he was finger painting with it.

3:13 Rob Schneider Well, at least he was being artistic. He was doing something positive.

3:16 Drew He was. Very positive guy. Very positive guy. And so Emily, what's your question?

3:19 Rob Schneider So yeah, so I put some gloves on and I went to wash your hands up and she grabbed my wrist and dug her fingernails into my wrist.

3:26 Rob Schneider Yeah.

3:27 Rob Schneider And three weeks after the fact, I found out that she had a hepatitis C. And I was wondering if it's contractable through that.

3:37 Rob Schneider It absolutely is contractable, but rare.

3:40 Drew Yeah, I've never heard of it being contracted that way though. There's all sorts of, there's bacteria and stuff that comes through, but that's, that virus, a tough one to get just, it's very similar to HIV in terms of how it's transmitted. It's a retrovirus. And so it's not a, Francis, I heard a discussion once by a scientist who was saying that if you took a drop of blood, let's see how this worked, and put it in a swimming pool, a drop of blood infected with hepatitis B, and put it in a swimming pool.

4:07 Rob Schneider Which is not a bad idea, by the way.

4:09 Drew And then drew out a couple cc's of that pool water and injected it, you transmit hepatitis B every time. While if you put a cup of blood into a quart of water, you'd be rarely transmit hepatitis C.

4:23 Rob Schneider So one more time, into a pool?

4:25 Drew So highly concentrated. The issue of how concentrated is the virus?

4:28 Rob Schneider Okay.

4:29 Drew That basically pulling up two cc's of fluid in a swimming pool, with one drop of blood diluted into it, would transmit hepatitis B.

4:36 Rob Schneider Right.

4:36 Drew But hepatitis C, you could put a cup in a quart, and you wouldn't be able to do it.

4:40 Rob Schneider Right, right, right.

4:41 Drew So it's a very difficult disease to contract that way, though certainly sharing needles and these sorts of things are obviously the means whereby it's transmitted. And people speculate that it's actually the drawing of the blood back up into the syringe where you really do the job. So it's not so much what's on the tip of the needle or on the tip of the fingernails that's likely to transmit it. And I don't think there's much of it in the feces.

5:00 Rob Schneider In other words, next time you get the person there is playing with their feces, go out the back and get the hose. Hose them down.

5:09 Drew Okay. All right, Emily, good luck.

5:11 Rob Schneider You'll be all right.

5:11 Drew You should check out hepatitis B though. That can be transmitted that way. Or just other infections.

5:15 Rob Schneider Or it could just be a bad infection you get there. You guess you might need some antibiotics.

5:19 Drew There you go, Stephen 24.

5:21 Yeah, hey guys, what's up?

5:22 Rob Schneider Hey, what's up?

5:24 Rob Schneider Are you all right?

5:25 Drew You're okay.

5:26 Rob Schneider Yeah, I have this weird fetish for pregnant chicks and I don't know why.

5:33 Rob Schneider Wow, okay, all right.

5:35 Rob Schneider And it's not like just pregnant chicks because I like non-impregnated chicks, too, but-

5:40 Rob Schneider Sure, right, but there's something with pregnant chicks that just rocks your boat.

5:44 Rob Schneider Yeah, it's like I could be walking down the mall and a pregnant girl walks by me and the march is on, you know?

5:50 Drew Oh, you mean you walk behind just to look at her?

5:52 Rob Schneider Have you been successful in your quest to consummate this fixation of yours?

5:59 Rob Schneider Well, no, I mean, I don't like really go pursue them or anything.

6:03 Drew Do you look on the web at pictures, that kind of thing?

6:05 Rob Schneider I have, yeah.

6:07 Drew Ah, that's what you're bothered by, huh?

6:09 Rob Schneider Okay.

6:10 Drew And obviously, are there websites out there for people like you?

6:13 Rob Schneider Apparently.

6:14 Drew Evidently.

6:14 Rob Schneider Let me ask you-

6:15 Drew You've found all 6,000 of them.

6:17 Rob Schneider Do you still have a good relationship with mommy?

6:19 Rob Schneider Yeah.

6:20 Rob Schneider You do? Okay. All right.

6:22 Drew Do you have lots of brothers and sisters?

6:23 Rob Schneider No, none.

6:24 Rob Schneider Okay.

6:25 Rob Schneider Well, maybe there's something to that. Good call.

6:27 Drew Was there ever a child that was like a miscarriage or something, or when you were growing up?

6:34 Rob Schneider Well, one of my exes and I-

6:37 Drew No, no, mom. I mean, your mom. Like when you were family of origin.

6:40 Rob Schneider Oh, no, not that I know of.

6:42 Drew Nothing like that.

6:43 Rob Schneider Okay.

6:43 Drew All right, so listen, it kind of makes sense, doesn't it? From just a pure biological standpoint, pure evolutionary perspective.

6:50 Rob Schneider I like this.

6:51 Drew That men would be kind of turned on by a pregnant woman, right?

6:53 Rob Schneider Yeah.

6:53 Drew I mean, that's the goal. That's the object of the whole act.

6:56 Rob Schneider Especially if I did it.

6:58 Drew Right, right. Well, that's-

6:59 Rob Schneider I did that.

7:00 Drew That's part of the evolutionary thing. So it makes some sense that it would be arousing. And some guys, what is fascinating though-

7:06 Rob Schneider Don't let him off the hook too much. He's a weirdo. This guy's a weirdo.

7:09 Drew Very few people are one way or the other on this one. You know what I mean? Very few people are just neutral on this one. People are either like, men are either like, oh, or they're into it.

7:18 Rob Schneider Yeah, however, I just think what is exacerbating this fixation-

7:23 Drew And by the way, Rob, it means she's been with another guy.

7:25 Rob Schneider Yeah, right.

7:25 Which I know that really bothers you.

7:28 Rob Schneider It bothers me and I love it. Hey, here's the deal. Stop watching so much computer stuff about thepregnantchic.com porn site that you got over there. Because that will increase your- I would say-

7:41 Drew Well, that's interesting, because men get momentum with stuff, right? Just like if you're drinking heavily, it gets gone.

7:45 Rob Schneider It builds up, it becomes whether, I don't want to say addiction, it becomes a fixation.

7:50 Drew Yeah, highly arousing images become more arousing, right?

7:53 Rob Schneider And the only way to do that is to get more that same stimulation. So if this guy's watching and watching and watching, I can't stop, I need pregnant chicks. And so therefore it builds to something. And then, you know.

8:05 Drew What was the Saint Augustine said? Abstinence is better than the perfect moderation is always better than the perfect moderation.

8:12 Rob Schneider That's good. He also said some terrible anti-semitic stuff.

8:14 Drew He did? Did he really?

8:15 Rob Schneider Terrible anti-semitic, yeah.

8:18 Drew Saint Augustine?

8:18 Rob Schneider Yes, absolutely.

8:19 Drew Interesting. Michael, 17.

8:21 Rob Schneider Hey, I got a question. It's, I'm in a relationship with a girl pretty recent and I constantly just like hugging her and everything. Just been around her.

8:34 Rob Schneider What a weirdo you are. I thought we monitored these calls.

8:38 Drew He's into frotterism, right? The rubbing up against frotterism?

8:42 Rob Schneider Ah, okay, all right.

8:42 Drew Maybe. Michael?

8:43 Rob Schneider I just learned a new word. You frotterist.

8:47 Rob Schneider What?

8:47 Rob Schneider So go on. So what's the deal now, Michael?

8:49 Rob Schneider I just keep on getting erection just like doing simple things with her, like holding her hand, hugging her. And it's just like walking around and I was like, oh my God, I gotta hide this thing. I'm like, oh.

9:00 Rob Schneider And that's, you know what? You're normal.

9:02 Drew Heavy jeans, jeans pants.

9:03 Rob Schneider Forty years from now, you're going to long for the days when all you had to do was brush up against a young, vibrant young lady and then the next thing I know, I could cut glass.

9:14 Drew Now what's it take?

9:15 Rob Schneider Now, well, for me, believe me, it takes more, it takes some of that stimulation, more, a lot of stimulation, to be honest with you.

9:22 Drew Back to the prostate again.

9:25 Rob Schneider Well, Michael, you're normal. That's OK. You're 17.

9:27 Drew You know what's interesting now?

9:28 Rob Schneider When you're 17, you wake up and you can't go through a wall with your boner, then you should call us with a problem.

9:34 Drew But you're right. That's absolutely right. And Michael, you should celebrate your health.

9:39 Rob Schneider Yeah, yeah.

9:40 Drew But here's my question, and this is not for Michael so much as for his girlfriend.

9:43 Rob Schneider OK.

9:44 Drew What do women think about this?

9:45 Rob Schneider Well, you know what? Women are cooler than we give them credit. I mean, like, when you take an 18-year-old girl, by the time she's 18, she's an expert in turning down guys. She's an basic, unless she has problems or whatever.

9:56 Drew No, no, you're right.

9:56 Rob Schneider She's an expert, whereas guys are still basically retarded at 17.

10:00 Drew You're right.

10:00 Rob Schneider Like, take a perfect example. Michael in Tucson thinks he's got a boner when he's holding her hand, and he thinks something's wrong with him. Well, there's nothing wrong with that. Eventually, if you show her that you care about her and stuff like that, or fool her into it, she'll do something with that. And you guys can have fun with that.

10:17 Drew You're talking about medicating or drugging her?

10:20 Rob Schneider I'm saying wear a condom and do something with it. But, you know, that's another thing. It blew me away last night. All these women have to say, no condoms, like, it's 2005.

10:28 Drew Not only that, listen, that's what you and your peers wear condoms. These kids don't need to wear condoms. You know what I'm saying?

10:34 Rob Schneider Condoms, dad wore condoms.

10:36 Drew Dad wore condoms. But, yeah, it's really bad. It's down.

10:39 Rob Schneider You're fine, you're a goober, but you got a girl who's next year, you're getting a boner, enjoy it.

10:43 Drew I have a question.

10:43 Rob Schneider I'm not planning on having sex with her or anything.

10:46 Drew Good.

10:46 Rob Schneider Good, well, good for you.

10:48 Drew But here's my question. Should Michael bring this up with her?

10:51 Rob Schneider No. You know what? She's going to know. She's a hip chick. And just, you know what I recommend? Some tight undies.

10:58 Drew Yeah, yeah, tight undies and heavy jeans.

10:59 Rob Schneider Seriously, tight underwears and just some bag of jeans and a really flowery long shirt. And just say, you know, put your hands in your pockets. You can deal with it. You're 17, man. Come on. You got a lot of time in your hands. You can figure this out.

11:12 Drew Gavin's 32. Gavin.

11:14 Rob Schneider Hey, fellas. Thanks for taking my call. It's a pleasure, Gavin.

11:17 Rob Schneider It's great to have you on.

11:18 Drew Quite welcome.

11:19 Rob Schneider Hope things are good. So how are things for you in St. Louis?

11:23 Rob Schneider You know, they're top notch, man. They're better. You're doing a hell of a job hosting the show. Love having you on.

11:28 Rob Schneider Thanks, man. So what do we got going?

11:30 Rob Schneider I've got an 11-year-old stepson who asked mom this evening about masturbating. He asked, quote-unquote, is it okay for me to play with my balls? But just before we jumped in, not a bogus call.

11:45 Rob Schneider He's 11?

11:46 Rob Schneider He's 11. My question is, we've...

11:49 Rob Schneider A little early.

11:50 Rob Schneider Yeah, that's what we're worried is...

11:52 Rob Schneider Well, no, no, don't be worried.

11:54 Rob Schneider But we want to be... It's tough not being worried. But we want to maintain an open dialogue. But at the same time, we want to balance and make sure we're not over-sexualizing him.

12:02 Rob Schneider Yes.

12:02 Rob Schneider So we're looking for a little bit more advice on how to approach it at that age.

12:04 Rob Schneider First of all, chances are, Gavin, chances are somebody else brought it up with him, and he's not really that curious about it. But the more that you make a big deal out of it, the more he's going to think it's a big deal. So don't make it a big deal. So the thing is, but why he went to and talked to your wife first and not you is something that is a little different, you know? If there's anything with my nuts, I went right to dad. I didn't talk to mom until, I didn't talk to my mother about my nuts until like last week.

12:34 Drew My son tends to go to mom. That's because she heard you talking about your prostate massage. That's why I talked to mom.

12:44 Rob Schneider The reason he went to her is that I'm stepdad.

12:48 Rob Schneider That makes sense.

12:50 Rob Schneider He said, masturbation is the normal part. It can be healthy.

12:56 Drew You've already sort of, she's actually gone too far in my opinion already. He's not talking about masturbation. That's a word he's going to go, what just hit me? What the heck was that? He asked, is it okay to touch my balls? That's what he asked. What you gotta go is, yes, that's okay. What makes you ask that question? What's going on? What do you mean by that? Keep it on their terms. Don't launch into your need to talk to them about masturbation, how healthy it is.

13:19 Rob Schneider You're elevating the situation there when it maybe doesn't necessarily have to be. Again, if you're making it, she's making a bigger deal out of it than he is, then the next thing you know, he's gonna be whipping them out in grade school and shoving them against the wall. He won't be doing that. But anyway, don't make a big deal out of it. It's gonna be all right. Is anything else there, Gav?

13:41 Rob Schneider Oh, I guess, is there a recommended reading from you, Drew, on, cause we know there's gonna be more questions coming up, something that would be a good preference.

13:48 Drew Let me just give you a good parenting book. It's called Parenting from the Inside Out by Dan Siegel. Parenting from the Inside Out. But let me reiterate, keep it on their terms. You gotta make sure what they're asking. What are they asking? Maybe he was talking about billiard ball, you know what I mean? Kids ask the craziest questions and they have no idea what they're actually asking. My daughter asked me when she was 5 if my wife and I sext. Do you sext? She said. And I went and first of all freaked out. And then secondly took a deep breath and went, well what do you mean? She goes, I mean, you know like they do on TV, they kiss. And I go, yes, we do that. And she thought, oh, we've had the greatest conversation. That's all she went to know. Do we kiss? She used the word sex. She'd heard it a million times, had no idea what it meant. So we use a word like masturbation when he's talking about touching his balls. He's got a huge disconnect.

14:36 Rob Schneider Yeah, I mean, I would just keep it simple. You can touch him, just don't let anybody else.

14:41 Rob Schneider Hey, Drew, why is it that when you rub your balls while you're jerking off, it feels so much better?

14:46 Drew Steve-O, oh man. He has to do lots of things when he's jerking off to make things go good. He's used to sort of high levels of stimulation. I guess. Here we go. This is Lee, who's 22.

14:55 Rob Schneider Hey, Lee, what's up?

14:56 Hey, how's it going?

14:57 Rob Schneider This is your call from Modesto. It better be something strange.

15:01 Rob Schneider It's not that strange. It's just I have a question with I have panic attacks and anxiety attacks a lot. And I wanted to know if it's related anything to the medicines I took for ADHD and depression when I was younger.

15:14 Drew If you took them.

15:15 Rob Schneider Are you still on meds?

15:16 Rob Schneider No, I haven't been on medicine since I was 12. My mom's boyfriend thought it would be better for me to be getting contact eyes from him.

15:24 Drew Well, do you smoke a lot of pot?

15:25 Rob Schneider No, I don't do any drugs at all. I drink a lot though.

15:29 Drew All right. Well, that causes panic and anxiety. You're basically developing alcohol withdrawal. And panic and anxiety attacks, that's the same thing. And really, it's not in fact panic attack, it's alcohol withdrawal, which is experienced as a panic attack. So you need to get detoxed. You need to understand there's about a 60% fatality rate with delirium treatments. So if somebody needs to be monitored carefully by a doctor, if you stop suddenly your alcohol consumption, seizures are very likely. But if you're drinking enough to get panic attacks...

15:55 Rob Schneider How much are you drinking?

15:57 Rob Schneider I drink about a pint of whiskey a week. But the thing is, I was having those before I started drinking, and they actually lessen a little bit with the drinking.

16:06 Drew They lessen when you're drinking, but when you're off, they intensify. So the cycle is, I have panic in the morning, I have panic throughout the day, so I drink to make it feel better, which intensifies the panic and anxiety during the day of the following day.

16:18 Rob Schneider Yeah, I mean that's...

16:20 Drew And in fact, what they've shown now also is that those withdrawal symptoms, when you get the tremor and the panic and all that, is actually damaging to the brain. There's actually evidence now that this really needs to be medically managed without which you... That is probably one of the contributing factors to why alcohol damages brain. That's what they think now. So let's take care of this, Lee.

16:39 Rob Schneider Well, I think, you know, in any situation you're having anxiety and you're not realizing you're drinking a pint of gin a week, that that's adding to it, it's certainly not gonna make it better. So I just think that was Modesto, that's what I expect.

16:58 Drew And because, you know, Lee, alcoholism is a disorder of a part of the brain called the medial forebrain bundle, which is your drive system, your survival system. So it's outside of consciousness, it drives the use and you can't use your volition or your rational brain to control that part of the brain. There's no connection there. So you have to go get some kind of treatment that specifically is directed at those experiential parts of the brain.

17:19 Rob Schneider What do you think about functioning alcoholics?

17:22 Drew I have millions of them.

17:23 Rob Schneider Yeah, I mean, they just take and drink like a buddy of mine.

17:25 Drew Yeah, millions of them. And because it's a progressive disease though, it will eventually progress. And my thing is, same thing with all drugs, is like if people, if it's working for them, you can't talk them out of it. So what the hell?

17:36 Rob Schneider And if people are not interested in stopping, and they're able to keep a job down, and people are not interested in stopping, they're not going to stop.

17:42 Drew Well, none of that.

17:44 Rob Schneider Why should they?

17:44 Drew Well, who are we to say?

17:45 Rob Schneider You know what I'm saying?

17:46 Drew Well, yeah, if it hasn't caused the problem, the difficult thing I see is I know what's coming, I know what's going, and it makes me sad, but you know what? You gotta wait till that happens. So, Tim 17.

17:57 Rob Schneider Tim!

17:58 Rob Schneider Hey, what's up, guys?

17:59 Rob Schneider What's up?

18:00 Drew Hang on a second, Tim. It's one thing that drives me crazy. People smoke pot every day, and people go, oh my god, oh my god. Yeah, if the guy was, or let's say that person gets cancer and has nausea and pain, and their pot helps their pain.

18:12 Rob Schneider Yeah, that's fine.

18:12 Drew And they don't want to stop smoking, and they're gonna die in a couple years. But smoke the pot. It's fine.

18:17 Rob Schneider Well, we have this problem in America where other people, people want to control what other people do. And it's just, I don't know, that's puritanical. Calvin is thinking it's still...

18:26 Drew It's funny, isn't it? It's a weird thing. Tim, 17.

18:29 Caller I have a question for Rob.

18:31 Drew Yo.

18:32 Rob Schneider Hey, Rob, I was just wondering, I saw you a little while ago on, I think it was WWE.

18:37 Rob Schneider Speaking of pot.

18:38 Rob Schneider I saw you doing some stuff with that, and I just thought it was so funny and random that you were on.

18:43 Rob Schneider Maybe.

18:44 Rob Schneider I was just wondering how you got involved with that.

18:47 Rob Schneider Jack Giropputo got me to do that. He's a producer on the movies that I work on.

18:54 Drew And he just called you and said, I need you to do something for me.

18:56 Rob Schneider Come on, go on WWE. It'll be fun. You'll have fun. And I said, all right, I'll do it. And it was fun, actually. It was funny because it's wrestling and you get kind of crazy.

19:05 Drew You have to train for it?

19:06 Rob Schneider No, no, no, no. I just got in the ring and I was just saying some stuff and I saw a couple of, there's some contest of these girls beating each other up and I just jumped in there and sort of throwing these girls around. It was really, actually.

19:14 Drew How could that be, oh, that wasn't where you gained your predilection towards massage and the took eye and all that?

19:21 Rob Schneider I know. Well, I just, I don't think so. But I just threw a couple of girls around. It looked fun. It was fun. I'm glad I did it on the third game. I was back east, some Indian reservation.

19:30 Drew And is it on, is it always like pay-for-view kind of thing?

19:32 Rob Schneider WWE, I think it was. Like it was Super Wrestling 27 or something.

19:35 Drew That must have been fun.

19:36 Rob Schneider It was fun. It was good.

19:37 Drew Mike 20.

19:39 Rob Schneider Hi, Mike.

19:40 Rob Schneider What's up?

19:41 I have this question. It seems like whenever I just like kind of hook up with a random girl or when I just get into a relationship with her, when we have sex, I can go for an hour, hour and a half. But once we actually get into a relationship, I'm lucky if I can go, you know, 15, 20 minutes.

20:01 Drew Wow.

20:01 Rob Schneider Let me just hit the button there. You're so full of crap. Hour, hour and a half.

20:05 Drew Rob is offended. His delicate sensibilities have been truly violated.

20:08 Rob Schneider Even if it was true, you keep it to yourself. You don't go on the radio and bad. You know, when I'm with a random chick that I pick up in a bar, a strip club or down the street corner, I last for a year plus change. But when I'm with the girl that I care about, I, well, I don't make it insider. You know, it's such a...

20:30 Drew Don't make insider.

20:32 Rob Schneider I can't even last long enough to get it in her. But well, I don't, you know, first of all, let's backtrack that. Let's take a zero off of that maybe. But there's something that if you're with a woman, that maybe he's, I don't know, what the hell is that?

20:44 Drew By the way, an hour of sex, you rub your kneecaps off and turn your... It's like a pencil sharpener at that point.

20:51 Rob Schneider It's just an exaggeration. Guys, you know, women don't need you to lie. It's not about that. At least I hope not.

20:56 Drew Be that as it may. The fact is that when you're with a new partner, when you're with somebody you don't know, it's uncomfortable. It's anxiety provoking.

21:03 Rob Schneider Sure, yeah.

21:03 Drew Makes you a little nervous. And so anxiety and nervousness makes you not function as well sexually.

21:08 Rob Schneider You take your clothes off, you don't know what you're going to have down there with, you know, is she shaved, is she not shaved, what is it, you know.

21:14 Drew Just make notes of the kinds of things that Rob focuses on. He learned tremendous amount about our guest this way.

21:22 Rob Schneider And whereas if you're with a girl, you know you're going to get sex and you've been thinking about it. Also, you're out with a girl, you're not 100% sure it's going to happen if it's a first, you know.

21:31 Drew If she's shaved, does that mean she's been with somebody else?

21:33 Rob Schneider Well, hopefully, hopefully. And he doesn't want to talk her into it. Yes, wonderfully. No, but here's the deal. You know, if you're with a girl that you're in a relationship with, you know you're going to have sex or you've been thinking about it. Yeah, your chances are that's why you're not right.

21:49 Drew Makes you nervous. And once you settle in a rhythm, you're comfortable with that person. Now, by the way, when you feel nervous, sometimes people last longer, sometimes they last shorter. Yeah, you can make people go off more quickly. So it's hard to predict how it's going to affect a given individual. But just know that being nervous makes sexual functioning not so good.

22:04 Rob Schneider I put this in the category of not a real problem.

22:06 Drew Not a real problem. I'm with you on that too. So anyway, Rob Schneider is our guest here tonight. The phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191. The more you call, the more we learn about Rob.

22:16 Rob Schneider You can do it.

22:17 Drew Call up. Call him with your questions.

22:18 Rob Schneider With your sick sexual stuff. And we'll talk about them.

22:22 Drew In just a minute.

22:25 Rob Schneider Loveline will be right back.

22:33 Drew Call us at Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Rob Schneider in with us, the great Rob Schneider.

22:39 Rob Schneider Thank you, sir. Our last caller was a liar, saying he has sex for an hour and a half. Women don't really want to have sex for an hour and a half. The average woman. I mean, there's maybe the one who does. But, you know, they may say they want to, you know, F you all night, but they're just talking dirty, hopefully.

22:55 Drew More than about 10 minutes is what?

22:57 Rob Schneider It's painful.

22:58 Drew Ouch, absolutely.

22:58 Rob Schneider Get off of me. What's wrong with you?

23:00 Drew Aren't you done yet?

23:01 Rob Schneider Aren't you attracted to me? If you take care of that, what's your problem?

23:07 Drew Here's Mark 17.

23:09 Rob Schneider You had your chance, mister.

23:12 Rob Schneider Hello?

23:12 Drew This is a little bit too cathartic, right?

23:14 Rob Schneider You're scaring me a little bit.

23:18 Rob Schneider What's up, Mark?

23:18 Rob Schneider What's up, man?

23:20 Rob Schneider Not much.

23:21 Drew We're going from the guy that can't ejaculate to Johnny Cash here.

23:24 Rob Schneider What's up, brother?

23:25 Rob Schneider What's up, man? Okay. So when I was younger, I was raped, and that's how I lost my virginity to an older girl.

23:34 Rob Schneider Ah, come on. Not true.

23:36 Rob Schneider Oh, true story. I swear I swelled my mother's grave.

23:39 Rob Schneider How old were you?

23:40 Rob Schneider I was 12.

23:41 Rob Schneider Why do you call that raped? I would have called that rescued. I would have said, thank God. Oh my God.

23:47 Drew How old was she and how did she pull this off?

23:49 Rob Schneider Yeah. Yeah.

23:49 Rob Schneider How were you raped?

23:50 Rob Schneider 13, 14, and...

23:52 Rob Schneider Oh, yeah. Yeah.

23:53 Rob Schneider She was easily over to Power Road as a defenseless 12-year-old and she's 13.

23:57 Rob Schneider Yeah. But my question is, is it okay to use the line that I was raped for when I lost my virginity to get a girl to sleep with me?

24:09 Rob Schneider Wow.

24:10 Rob Schneider How did he get raped?

24:11 Did she use a splint?

24:13 Drew Yeah. That's what I want to know. Before we call him out, let's just hear what his life is.

24:17 Rob Schneider Yeah. Let me hear the whole rape story.

24:20 Drew How did she pull this off?

24:22 Rob Schneider By some hot girl.

24:24 Rob Schneider All right. I was over at her house.

24:26 Rob Schneider Uh-huh.

24:27 Rob Schneider We were wrestling and...

24:29 Rob Schneider Sure.

24:30 Rob Schneider No. She stuck her hand on my pants and I was like, what are you doing? She's like, just go with it.

24:35 Rob Schneider What are you doing? Get off me.

24:37 Rob Schneider I don't really want to do this. And she's like, just do it. I was like, I don't.

24:41 Rob Schneider And then... How dare you, you hot girl, touch my penis? My hard penis. How dare you, you hot girl.

24:51 Rob Schneider And then what happened? See, you weren't raped. You just had sex with you, even if this ever happened.

24:56 Rob Schneider No.

24:57 Rob Schneider Well, yes.

24:57 Rob Schneider You said no. Get off me, please.

24:59 Rob Schneider I didn't want to do it, but I still did it.

25:01 Rob Schneider You didn't want to do it.

25:02 Drew Did you ejaculate?

25:03 Rob Schneider Yes.

25:05 Rob Schneider Wow.

25:05 Rob Schneider What an awful experience.

25:07 Drew Well, at 12, you know, actually, if you look at the data on 12 year olds with older women, total males older women, their outcomes are not good. They tend to have more depression, more suicide, more antisocial.

25:16 Rob Schneider I don't know.

25:17 Rob Schneider My outcome isn't that great. And I would have loved that to happen to me.

25:19 Drew Right. And so it depends on the male, depends on the circumstance. Most of that is referencing people that are with like their teachers and stuff like that. We really isn't rape so much as sexual assault.

25:28 Rob Schneider This is like somebody basically his own age, if this ever happened at all.

25:32 Drew And here's the deal.

25:32 Rob Schneider He's using it now to perpetrate, you know, is it work when you tell the girl, hey, I was raped at 12. What do you say we reenact it? What do you, I don't understand. How does that work, Mark?

25:46 Rob Schneider Well, no, we, I don't really like tell it that, you know, I was raped in that way.

25:51 Rob Schneider Yeah, good, right.

25:52 Rob Schneider I've been in conversation when I'm like trying to have sex with her, pick her up.

25:56 Rob Schneider Oh, how old are you now?

25:58 Rob Schneider She asked me if I've ever had sex before and I'll be like, well, yeah. When I was younger, I was raped. And she's like, oh, and she does the whole sympathy thing. And then it actually has worked on a couple of girls.

26:09 Rob Schneider Hey, you know what? Whatever. I don't know. You know what? It's just such, guys will do anything to get laid.

26:17 Drew Yes.

26:17 Rob Schneider And that obviously wasn't such a scarring experience as if he's using it now, is to think it's exciting to other girls.

26:26 Rob Schneider Right.

26:26 Drew So, what?

26:27 Rob Schneider Loser.

26:28 Drew Scott21.

26:30 Rob Schneider Yeah. I have a question.

26:32 Rob Schneider Sounds like the same guy.

26:34 Drew We're close, huh?

26:36 Rob Schneider No, no, no, no, no.

26:37 Rob Schneider What's up there, Scott?

26:39 Rob Schneider Well, when I was 12, a bunch of my friends were older and they were all going through puberty. And I wasn't and I was trying to figure out why. And I tried to experiment with a friend's little sister.

27:01 Rob Schneider How little was she?

27:03 Rob Schneider She was five.

27:05 Drew And what do you mean experiment?

27:07 Rob Schneider Just like nothing ever actually happened. But I sort of attempted to just like, I don't even know where I was going with it. But I got caught by her mother. And fortunately, she was like, she saved me from from all that. And she was really...

27:25 Drew First of all, this whole puberty thing, human brains are amazing. The things we think have very often very little to do with what's motivating us and what's actually going on. You were perpetrating child abuse under the child. In your brain, it was like to figure out whether there is puberty here.

27:41 Rob Schneider You were justifying it by other people that were in the other room.

27:43 Drew And the fact is, though, you were perpetrating something pretty horrible here, which suggests also that it happened to you.

27:49 Rob Schneider Right.

27:50 Rob Schneider So what has happened to you?

27:52 Rob Schneider It's weird, because I've listened to the show for years, and I would try to ask myself that same question, and nothing.

28:00 Rob Schneider Like, I had close to the perfect childhood.

28:04 Rob Schneider Oh, wow.

28:05 Rob Schneider That was bad.

28:06 Rob Schneider When anybody says they have a perfect childhood, well, yeah, my parents are divorced.

28:10 Rob Schneider No, no, no.

28:11 Rob Schneider My dad is at a rate mean till I was nine. We had a perfectly picture-perfect childhood there. So what, your parents are divorced?

28:20 Rob Schneider No, they're together. And they were always really open with me about everything.

28:26 Drew Did you see a lot of pornography or something when you were a kid?

28:29 Rob Schneider Yeah, I was just exposed. No, not so much pornography, but Playboy.

28:34 Rob Schneider Well, Playboy, not so much. But Penthouse, yes.

28:38 Rob Schneider Sex was never like a shameful thing.

28:41 Drew Yeah, but don't buy that BS either. Seeing explicit sexual images as a child can be problematic. It's not, we're just liberated. We let the kids see this natural act.

28:51 Rob Schneider We have to see everything.

28:52 Drew We love him.

28:52 Rob Schneider We're open.

28:53 Drew Those tend to be people.

28:54 Rob Schneider We want them to see these things.

28:55 Drew That's a cause of sexual compulsion. And if it's really explicit, what you're looking at, you may then do what you did. Thank God, you actually didn't do anything to this kid. Is that right?

29:04 Rob Schneider No, no, yeah.

29:06 Drew I hope not.

29:06 Rob Schneider Now, what else? Has something similar happened to you?

29:10 Rob Schneider Well, no.

29:12 Rob Schneider Have you ever tried to do something else to somebody else?

29:15 Rob Schneider No, no.

29:16 Drew What's your question?

29:17 Rob Schneider Well, now, I've been in two long relationships that I'm not in any more, but both girls were sexually, like, molested. And I've been single for like a year. And I know, listening to this show, that, you know, girls who go through that find people, you know, they find perpetrators.

29:42 Rob Schneider Right.

29:43 Drew They find perpetrators. And maybe Scott was one. Perpetrator of light. Let's be fair. A perpetrator of light. But nonetheless, perpetrator.

29:52 Rob Schneider So what's your question?

29:53 Rob Schneider So how do I fix this?

29:57 Drew Are there other problems? Are you sexually compulsive? Do you have trouble with the relationships or boundaries?

30:02 Rob Schneider Is there a ton of porno that you watch on a weekly basis?

30:05 Rob Schneider No, no.

30:07 Rob Schneider No? On a daily basis?

30:09 Drew Otherwise functioning well. Is that right?

30:10 Rob Schneider Do you look at porn every day?

30:12 Rob Schneider Um, almost every day. I actually watch porn.

30:14 Rob Schneider Hey! From waybound town! From 30 feet! Good shot.

30:19 Drew Well, it's fine. What kind of porn?

30:20 Rob Schneider Okay, well, yeah. What kind of porn are you looking at? Are you looking at barely, barely legal or barely 12? What kind of porn are you looking at?

30:28 Rob Schneider No, no. No younger. Any of that. Just...

30:32 Rob Schneider Just regular, straight old, God-American-loving, I'm an American Republican and I love my porn and I have a right to my pornography and I'm going to enjoy it and I'm going to... Well, you see, here is one of the things where he has some issues from his childhood.

30:48 Drew We don't really know what they are because he's not clear about it.

30:50 Rob Schneider However, but he's got some...

30:51 Drew Something's going on.

30:52 Rob Schneider Yeah, I think more happened than what he's made him into. I think you're right. I think he is... The mother came in before it got really, really, really bad.

30:59 Drew But plenty of touching went on before that.

31:01 Rob Schneider But some stuff happened and enough happened where it actually had some trauma and it stayed with him. And I think that there is something, some connective mental tissue that kind of works his way to these other girls who have these problems.

31:14 Drew Yeah, it's interesting.

31:15 Rob Schneider And he's fixated with porn and he watches it every day.

31:17 Drew I agree. There's smoke here, at least. So Scott, there's a Delamo Treatment Center out in Hawthorne. Delamo Hospital has a specialized program in treating with sexual compulsions. Be nice to get evaluated to see if you're prone to problems.

31:30 Rob Schneider And you're obviously interested in things. You can maybe get control of it. You're always going to be a weirdo, but maybe you get a handle on it.

31:37 Drew Anna, 22. What's going on?

31:39 Rob Schneider Hi, Anna.

31:40 Rob Schneider Hi.

31:40 I have a question for you guys. Hi.

31:43 Rob Schneider Wow.

31:43 Rob Schneider Good, Anna. What's going on over there?

31:47 Well, it seems like a lot of guys that I meet are cheap. And I don't know. Maybe, you know, my approach...

31:53 Drew Well, hold on. Slow down now. What do you mean cheap?

31:55 Yeah. I don't know. Me and, like, I'll go out on a date with a guy, whatever. And it's like, I'll see a cute little shirt or something. And I'll go in like, oh, this shirt is cute. Why don't you get it for me? You want to buy it for me? And then all of a sudden it's like they'll buy it or either they'll like, oh, I think you're going to buy it. And it's like, oh, but, you know, it's always something. Or it's like the date of like, and after that.

32:17 Rob Schneider And then the date after that, what?

32:19 Drew How much do these shirts cost?

32:20 After that date, it seemed like...

32:22 Drew Maybe they can't afford anything after that. How much do the shirts cost?

32:25 Okay. After the first date, it's like, usually, I feel like they're too cheap, and I won't call them. Or either they'll be really good-looking, and it's like, I won't hear from them.

32:34 Drew All right, hold on.

32:34 Wait, whoa, whoa.

32:35 Rob Schneider Can I just say something, man? Why the hell do you think it's okay to get guys to buy you stuff when you're first going out with them? What the heck are you thinking of?

32:42 Well, you know what? I don't know. That's what makes me think. When I grew up, my mother always told me, you know, hey, don't be afraid to put it out there. You're a beautiful girl. You can get anything you want. In previous relationships, I pretty much gave to, like, to the boyfriends that I used to be with.

32:57 Rob Schneider Oh, no, you didn't!

32:58 Drew What do you mean, great? Yeah. Give what? No, you didn't, babe.

33:01 Rob Schneider What you give him?

33:03 Drew You bought the t-shirt?

33:03 Rob Schneider What you gonna give him? Why don't you want to buy me that shirt?

33:08 I thought we know each other for an hour. No, actually, I'm not like that. I'm really sweet about it. I, like, I don't know.

33:13 Rob Schneider So you're sweet about it, but you're still trying to get these guys to spend money.

33:15 Drew What did you give them before? Anna, what did you give them before? What did you give them before?

33:20 Caller Well, I used to, like, I don't know, like, I let my, the last guy I was with, I let him stay with me for four years, you know, for freedom at the penny rent, you know.

33:28 Rob Schneider That's great.

33:29 Caller He had huge, big feds.

33:30 Rob Schneider He sounds like a winner, Anna.

33:31 Drew One of the great things about human beings is that they usually sit on both sides of a coin. In other words, they're either abuser and victim, in her case, exploiter and exploited.

33:42 Rob Schneider Exploited, yeah. She's let some loser guy live with her for four years without giving him a nickel. And then the first guy who might be a decent guy, he goes out, she's with him for five minutes on Melrose and he's not buying her some lousy new skanky shirt. He is weird.

33:58 Drew What do you think he's thinking when he's buying that shirt too, by the way?

34:01 Rob Schneider He's thinking he's buying sex.

34:02 Drew Right.

34:03 Rob Schneider I'm gonna get a piece of her.

34:04 Drew Anna, do you understand that that's sort of how males think? What's that?

34:09 Caller My question is like, I want a good guy, a good quality guy, but how do I get him and keep him at the same time, get him to buy me and treat me to...

34:18 Rob Schneider Okay, you know, first of all, Anna, when you're thinking of a good quality guy, the first word you say is buy me. How can I get like a good quality guy to buy me some stuff? I mean, if he's a good quality guy, I mean, he's gonna be buying me t-shirts and pants and slacks and shoes and socks. And maybe, I don't know, an overcoat has been raining a lot recently in LA. You know, the Santa Ana winds come in. It's kind of cold. I need a good guy who's gonna buy me something, maybe color my hair, maybe take a bikini. You know, shave down there, so I'm nice and smooth for the next guy who doesn't want to buy me.

34:50 Drew We're getting a theme going here tonight, Ron.

34:51 Rob Schneider But anyway, so here's the thing. How do I get a good guy to buy me stuff? I don't know. I mean, that sounds like almost direct. It's indirect prostitution, Ana.

34:59 Drew So why doesn't she focus on what?

35:01 Rob Schneider What is a good guy? I mean, like, you know what? The conversation you can have with your mother and like, you know, you're a good girl.

35:05 Drew Your mom gives you some bad ideas.

35:06 Rob Schneider You gotta put it out there, baby. If you want a t-shirt, you get a t-shirt. If he doesn't, he's not a good guy. You know, how about a good guy who's a guy who's maybe has a future and has a career and is interested in you more than just for trading you sex for a t-shirt?

35:18 Drew And here's how he's gonna be interested in you. Obviously, you're an attractive one. She's got to be hot, right? Just to be thinking this way. Well, she's got to, yeah, she needs to have something else to offer. She needs to like have a skill or profession. Something interesting about her. And then, by the way, lots of interesting guys and good guys, not cheap guys, will be interested in you at that point. And by the way, also, when you go out on these dates, don't buy anything for anybody. Spend time talking to that person. That's the idea of a date.

35:45 Rob Schneider You know how you get a good guy? If you're having a really good life and making someone of your life, then they're going to attract good guys.

35:50 Drew That's exactly right. You got that, Anna?

35:52 Caller Yeah, I hear you.

35:53 Drew Yeah. Just don't think of guys just... You don't need a guy to be fulfilled. You don't have to have guys see you just as what you are physically. You need something more because you can only attract a certain kind of guy unless you've got something much more to offer.

36:06 Rob Schneider Or you can also just get another guy to live in your house for four years.

36:09 Drew Another loser. You can have more losers. Losers are around. There are lots of losers. Lots of losers. It's good. My goodness. Another satisfied customer. Betsy is 23.

36:18 Rob Schneider Hi Betsy.

36:19 Rob Schneider Hi.

36:19 Rob Schneider Can I buy you a t-shirt? What's up Betsy?

36:22 Drew Where are you? I'm depressed Betsy.

36:24 Rob Schneider Yes, I'm depressed.

36:26 Rob Schneider What's going on?

36:28 Rob Schneider Well, I've been with this guy for two years and I had a baby.

36:32 Drew Exactly. It's Anna again.

36:34 Rob Schneider Everyone sounds the same. Anyway, I've been with this guy for two years.

36:38 Rob Schneider So what's going on?

36:39 Rob Schneider The thing is that...

36:40 Rob Schneider I love Puerto Rico by the way, Betsy.

36:42 Rob Schneider Huh?

36:42 Rob Schneider I love Puerto Rico and the Dominican Republic, wherever you're from.

36:45 Rob Schneider I'm Puerto Rican.

36:46 Drew I love you. She's in New Hampshire.

36:48 Rob Schneider Okay, so go ahead. There's not a lot of Puerto Ricans in New Hampshire.

36:51 Rob Schneider It's cold up here.

36:52 Rob Schneider I know. I'm not freezing. I don't like it out.

36:54 Drew There may be a lot of Puerto Ricans. There are no Mexicans.

36:56 Rob Schneider Yeah, Mexicans don't make it up there.

36:58 Drew Did I just hear a smoke alarm go off in the background? I think I heard a smoke alarm. Let me just time that out. Did you have a little beep?

37:03 Rob Schneider I did. Yeah.

37:04 Drew What that is, is the 9-volt battery is out and her smoke alarm, smoke detector.

37:09 Rob Schneider You're good.

37:10 Drew Are you standing near a smoke detector, Betsy?

37:12 Rob Schneider No.

37:13 Drew There's no smoke detector near you. What room are you in?

37:15 Rob Schneider You were good.

37:16 Rob Schneider I'm talking in the living room right now.

37:18 Drew Living room.

37:19 Rob Schneider Yeah.

37:20 Rob Schneider Okay. So what's your decision?

37:21 Drew Wait, wait, hold on. You don't see a smoke detector somewhere on the ceiling or on the wall there? Oh yeah, there is. Why'd you go stand by that for me? Just kind of stand right by it. No, I'm serious. Go stand right by it. You stay.

37:31 Rob Schneider Did you hear it? Wow.

37:32 Drew Now, how long has that thing been chirping at you?

37:35 Rob Schneider Oh, it does. I don't know.

37:37 Rob Schneider I haven't changed the battery.

37:39 Drew Well, at least you know it needs a new battery. Yeah. That's good. Let's see, a reptile couldn't live in that room with that thing chirping without doing something like chewing the thing off the wall. And Betsy here has been living with that for how long, chirping like that?

37:51 Rob Schneider Well, since I've been living here.

37:54 Drew Fantastic. How many years has that been?

37:57 Rob Schneider You know what, Betsy?

37:58 Drew Four, for a year?

37:59 Rob Schneider For a year, yeah.

38:00 Drew How about you just take that thing, just twist it off the ceiling there and put the new 9-volt vat, oh, there it is again.

38:05 Rob Schneider Just throw it away. Hey Betsy, here's another good idea. You know what's another good idea? Here's what you could do, Betsy. You can get a guy who cares about you, is a good guy, can buy you a 9-volt battering, you know, maybe a T-shirt, get you a nooklock radio or something like that, maybe, I don't know, buy you some kind of other batteries for whatever you want. Or I don't know, a haircut, whatever, if you're a good girl, you know, you got it coming to you. So what's your problem? Besides the fact that you get burned in a fiery blaze.

38:29 Rob Schneider I wish my boyfriend had a good battery.

38:33 Rob Schneider What's going on?

38:33 Rob Schneider He's always dead.

38:35 Rob Schneider Because the thing is, I always put lingerie on for him and like dance for him and do everything for him. And every time I turn my back, he's like asleep.

38:45 Drew Is he on drugs? Is he working?

38:47 Rob Schneider Does he work at FedEx? Does he have the night shift at FedEx?

38:50 Rob Schneider He works so much, so he like, I feel like he never had time for me.

38:55 Rob Schneider Okay, now do you have other times for her? Yeah, well he should at least have one time for you. I don't know if any guy has times for you. I mean, I don't know. I've only got one time for my lady.

39:05 Drew I don't think, Betsy, I think he's kind of not into it right now, wouldn't you say? That 20 year old guy.

39:09 Rob Schneider Well, you guys love each other. Do you have a good relationship other than the fact that he's falling asleep when you're trying to be sexual or what?

39:14 Rob Schneider Well, the thing is, like, every time he does that-

39:17 Drew How do you live in that house?

39:18 Rob Schneider I always break up with him.

39:19 Rob Schneider Okay, can I ask, can I tell you something?

39:22 Rob Schneider Sure.

39:22 Rob Schneider Why don't you, if you like this guy and if he likes you, whatever, will you try to find some special time together? Whether it's one day a week, whether it's between your beeping fire alarm going off, or whatever.

39:34 Drew That's probably what sends him into hypnotic trance.

39:37 Rob Schneider Beep!

39:38 Rob Schneider I feel tired.

39:39 Rob Schneider I don't know what your problem is, Betsy.

39:42 Rob Schneider Well, you know what, look, if he's not into it, then get out of it.

39:44 Drew And by the way, if you're not into it, get out of it.

39:46 Rob Schneider Come on. Otherwise, try to make some special time with each other, and if you guys don't want to do that, if he doesn't want to do it, then get out.

39:51 Drew I agree. Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191, the one and only Rob Schneider, just doling out the insightful advice. He's here. We have lots of good calls lined up, and we'll be right back. Get back to more Loveline right to the calls. This is Tamara, who is 20. Tamara.

40:30 Rob Schneider Hi, Tammy.

40:31 Rob Schneider Hey, guys, how you doing?

40:32 Drew You're on with Rob Schneider. What's going on?

40:33 Rob Schneider What's up, Tammy?

40:34 Rob Schneider Okay, so my question is, hey, honey, I'm on Loveline. Anyway, sorry, my question is, me and my boyfriend were talking the other night about clip piercings.

40:42 Drew Nice.

40:43 Rob Schneider Yeah, well, sure.

40:44 Drew Who does it?

40:44 Rob Schneider Yeah, I mean, did that come up when at the Burger King in the parking lot?

40:49 Rob Schneider No, it came up in bed. Church.

40:51 Drew Church.

40:54 Rob Schneider Yeah, you came up in bed.

40:55 Rob Schneider Yeah, it came up. We were like laying about, just kind of talking about like things in our sex life and things we could change and do.

41:01 Rob Schneider Sure, right.

41:02 Drew Well, what else were you just doing?

41:03 Rob Schneider It kind of came up, and it's something I've thought about before, and he had to kind of pass it.

41:05 Drew Hold on. Slow down here. What were the other things you thought you might change and do to improve your sex life?

41:10 Rob Schneider I don't know. Just like more sex. I'm all stressed out with school and stuff, so we haven't been doing it so often lately. I don't know. Just stuff like that. And I thought just ways to get more stuff like leave use toys, leave use stuff like that before.

41:23 Rob Schneider All right.

41:24 Rob Schneider Just kind of stuff. I'm just curious if there's health risks. Like, I guess I'm nervous about it more.

41:29 Rob Schneider Yeah.

41:29 Rob Schneider Absolutely. There's definitely, you could get infected down there. You're putting the hole on your clit.

41:37 Rob Schneider What don't you realize?

41:40 Rob Schneider You're piercing something that shouldn't be pierced. But, you know, if you want to do that...

41:44 Drew It's a good policy to keep sharp objects away from your genitalia. Just generally speaking.

41:49 Rob Schneider I wouldn't. Sandpaper. Why don't you say, hey honey, instead of getting a clitorin, why don't I just sandpaper your nutsack? Can I just do that for a while? For an hour?

41:59 Drew The other thing, Tamara, I'm concerned with is that when women get this, sometimes they go through a period of hypersensitivity and then there's sort of a desensitization that follows.

42:08 Rob Schneider Yeah. I mean, what if all of a sudden it doesn't feel good anymore? Does it feel good right now?

42:12 Rob Schneider Yeah.

42:13 Rob Schneider Okay. Well, then, what's the issue? I mean, I don't know if it's going to-

42:17 Rob Schneider I mean, there's no issue. I'm just kind of curious, like, what happens. I've always been interested in seeing that. I'm just wondering if it was really as good as-

42:24 Rob Schneider I could be curious about jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. I'm not going to do it.

42:28 Drew Yeah. Some women say, oh, it's a great thing, but more often than not, I hear other complaints that it gets desensitized.

42:33 Rob Schneider I don't know. I mean, it's a thing like, all these women got their belly button pierced and they're like, I don't know, my daughter want to get her belly button pierced. Some of my nieces is like, you know, I don't know. I mean, just, it's a trendy little thing. This is a little more grosser.

42:46 Drew When you get real aggressive piercing, genitalia piercing, usually means some kind of, in my experience, it's usually physical abuse in childhood. Somebody hit you with an object. No one ever struck you growing up.

42:57 Rob Schneider No. No?

42:59 Rob Schneider You could be just really extremely bored.

43:02 Drew I think, I guess there also is a difference between people thinking about doing this and actually doing it.

43:05 Rob Schneider Yeah, she hasn't done it yet.

43:07 Rob Schneider I don't know.

43:07 Rob Schneider I haven't done it. It just kind of came up in conversations, kind of something I was thinking about. So I was like, well, maybe I'll see what health risks are out there.

43:13 Rob Schneider Do you think it is your boyfriend saying it would be sexy? That's probably why she's thinking about doing it.

43:17 Rob Schneider Did he say it would be sexy? Yeah. I don't know. Mark, why do you want me to do it?

43:22 Drew Why do you want me to do it?

43:23 Rob Schneider Was it his suggestion?

43:25 Rob Schneider He had asked me if I had ever thought about it and I had.

43:27 Rob Schneider All right.

43:28 Drew Oh, this is not your thing then.

43:29 Rob Schneider All right. OK.

43:30 Drew He's also, did he bring up the anal sex thing? Is he interested in anal sex also?

43:35 Rob Schneider Yes, he was.

43:36 Rob Schneider Has he asked for the threesome yet? Because that's coming next. That's right. In the order of.

43:40 Rob Schneider Not yet.

43:41 Drew How about anal sex? He asked for that.

43:43 Rob Schneider He's talked about that before.

43:44 Drew There we go. That's that guy, Tamara. We know who your boyfriend is exactly. Now he's going to hold back on the threesome thing, even though it's in a huge thought bubble over his head.

43:52 Rob Schneider No, it's going to keep happening. You know what I think? I think you get that thing pierced.

43:56 Drew No, it's like, Susie is really hot, Tamara, your good friend. Don't you think she's attractive?

43:59 Rob Schneider Yeah, I mean, we got to take this up a little bit, the three of us.

44:03 Drew Oh, man. Guys are just so great, aren't they?

44:05 Rob Schneider Yeah, he really cares about you, Tamara.

44:07 Drew Stella.

44:08 Rob Schneider He loves you for you.

44:10 Drew Stella.

44:10 Rob Schneider What's up, Stella?

44:12 Rob Schneider Oh, hi. Hi.

44:16 Rob Schneider Hi.

44:16 Rob Schneider Oh, I love you, Rob Schneider and Dr. Drew.

44:18 Rob Schneider You're a genius.

44:20 Drew God bless you, Stella. What's going on?

44:22 Rob Schneider Why can't you love Dr. Drew and say, I'm a genius?

44:24 Drew I prefer that. We always get what we can't have. So, switch it around, Stella, right?

44:28 Rob Schneider So, what's going on, Stella, California?

44:31 Rob Schneider Yeah, I have a question about this weird fetish that I have.

44:36 Rob Schneider Wow.

44:36 Rob Schneider It's like, I don't know, another thing was like creepy.

44:41 Rob Schneider Like, I would like it if someone raped me or something.

44:45 Rob Schneider Oh, wow. That's unusual.

44:46 Drew So, you like to be overpowered when you're, are you sexually active now?

44:50 Rob Schneider Have you been having sex?

44:52 Caller Yeah.

44:53 Rob Schneider Okay.

44:53 Rob Schneider I mean, I wouldn't sleep around or anything.

44:54 Rob Schneider It's like, I'm with one person.

44:57 Drew And you wish he would sort of, whatever.

44:58 Rob Schneider You wish he would rape you or just some guy you don't know?

45:01 Rob Schneider I just think it'd be exciting if like I was.

45:05 Drew If you were.

45:05 Rob Schneider By him or by someone you don't know?

45:08 Rob Schneider Like by someone I don't know. Wow.

45:10 Drew Here's what I promise. It wouldn't be exciting if that actually happened to you. Secondly, if you've ever felt powerless at any other time in your life, sometimes that becomes a source of sexual arousal now as you're hitting 17, 18.

45:19 Rob Schneider And let me tell you something else. Women who are raped, sometimes it can ruin their entire life.

45:25 Drew That's true. Post-traumatic stress, you can feel bad about men, it can be very difficult to be close to people.

45:30 Rob Schneider It could turn you off to your sexuality.

45:33 Drew And I think more likely with this is still, if you've not been traumatized previous in your life, it's that you need to feel powerless in order to be sexual because you don't like to sort of incorporate that part of yourself. And if you're out of control and you have to be sexual, then you can express it. So, you're 17.

45:46 Rob Schneider Just go slow.

45:47 Drew Go slow.

45:48 Rob Schneider Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'd wait till 19 to want to be forced to be raped if I was.

45:51 Drew Yeah, rapes usually start at 19. Deuce Bigelow, European Jiggle. It will be out on DVD Tuesday, November 29th. You know Rob Schneider from all the Deuce Bigelow films, The Hot Chick, 50 First Date. He's got a new film, which was tested tonight, tested well, Bench Warmers. And we're going to be back just after this break. I'll be right back. That's right, it's Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. The one and only Rob Schneider is in with us tonight.

46:28 Rob Schneider Thank you, Dr. Drew, it's been...

46:30 Drew It's been. It continues to be.

46:32 Rob Schneider It has been interesting, but hopefully we're going to get more interesting in this next time.

46:36 Drew You grew up in San Francisco, right?

46:37 Rob Schneider Yeah, yeah, yeah, very open up there. Very open, very, very liberal.

46:40 Drew That's why you're so liberal, so interested in all these different experimentations.

46:45 Rob Schneider Why not, why not?

46:46 Drew Life is short.

46:46 Rob Schneider Yeah, well, I spent a little bit of time San Francisco State, not a lot, but all my heroes there were all the professors and the people in the drama department were gay. They were all my heroes, all these great people were gay, so I've always had a very open-minded, I was very lucky to be in a very progressive area of the country.

47:05 Drew At that time, I'm gonna ask you a hard question, were people being encouraged to explore same-sex kinds of unions?

47:10 Rob Schneider No, not me, but no, was the same encouraged? I will say this, in my high school I grew up, because I grew up in the Bay Area, I would say it was more likely, I'm just gonna say it was more lesbians or more gay kids, it was more of a possibility for somebody to come out and be earlier, whereas maybe in Massachusetts or, you know, some parts of Massachusetts, or like in Kansas City, they would be less likely to.

47:33 Drew The one piece of data that keeps coming up about young people's behaviors right now is that the girl on girl stuff is going up dramatically.

47:39 Rob Schneider Well, you know, they should videotape and send it.

47:41 Drew Rob Schneider, Carol Q.

47:44 Rob Schneider Why is that though?

47:45 Drew I don't know either.

47:46 Rob Schneider I'm sorry, just a little Christopher Waller. Why is that? I don't know.

47:49 Rob Schneider It's weird.

47:51 Rob Schneider I like it. I think about it all the time.

47:54 Rob Schneider It's a while.

47:56 Rob Schneider Now, but what is that? I mean, I think.

47:59 Drew I think most girls do it to attract males. Yeah.

48:01 Rob Schneider Well, because they know it's a turn on to guys. Okay. And also I just think it's, you know what? It sounds like it's a cliche to say, but it's a trendy thing.

48:09 Drew It is trendy. On the other hand, women are very flexible with these things and men, young men are pretty disappointing.

48:16 Rob Schneider Yeah. Yeah.

48:17 Rob Schneider It is true. It is true. I mean, it's guys are, men are basically retarded until they're like about maybe 48. My age. How old am I?

48:26 Drew Talking of the speaking of that, here's Lindsay who's 25.

48:28 Rob Schneider Hi Lindsay.

48:29 Rob Schneider Hi.

48:29 Drew You're on Rob Schneider.

48:31 Rob Schneider Hi sweetheart.

48:32 Rob Schneider Hi.

48:33 Rob Schneider From San Diego, really?

48:34 Rob Schneider Uh-huh.

48:35 Rob Schneider Hey, what's going on?

48:37 Rob Schneider I have a question. I was looking at my boyfriend's computer and then I noticed like some porn websites and I didn't really care but then I kind of looked and then and they're all like all the ones that he looks at, they're like fat girl porn. And I'm not fat.

48:57 Rob Schneider And you're not fat? Well, well maybe that's the reason he's interested. Have you thought about, listen, let me ask you something. Is there a donut shop close by where you live?

49:06 Rob Schneider Yeah.

49:07 Rob Schneider Okay. Well, what kind of, what kind do you like? Um, well, let me tell you, the sprinkled kinds, the double chocolate, those are going to get you, that's going to get you fat quick.

49:17 Drew Crispy cream now, too.

49:18 Rob Schneider Crispy cream. Yeah. Crispy creams actually taste good.

49:21 Rob Schneider But I don't want to get fat. I don't know.

49:22 Rob Schneider Oh, okay. I'm sorry. I didn't know where you were going, Lindsay.

49:24 Drew Well, Lindsay, first of all, God bless you for being sort of un, sort of nonplussed, unshaken by the fact that he looks at porn. You know, she's very at ease with that.

49:33 Rob Schneider I would say this, I'm saying it, she's just saying it because she's on the radio where she would be a little weirded out by it.

49:38 Drew But anyway, she's weirded out by the fat girl thing.

49:40 Rob Schneider The fat girl thing, you know, why does that weird you out? Is it weird you out that you think he's into fat girls? What does it tell me?

49:46 Rob Schneider It's confusing.

49:48 Drew It's confusing. I would say, go ahead, Lindsay, what's that?

49:51 Rob Schneider And I think he masturbates a lot.

49:55 Rob Schneider All right. Now, let me ask you something.

49:57 Drew Lindsay's a very liberated young woman. It's just, yeah, just whatever. It's what he's into.

50:00 Rob Schneider So what, I mean, did you talk to him about this?

50:03 Caller Uh-huh.

50:04 Rob Schneider He likes fat girls, he said.

50:06 Rob Schneider He likes fat girls.

50:07 Drew Seriously? That's what he wants to have?

50:08 Rob Schneider Is he black?

50:11 Drew Anderson had a question.

50:11 Rob Schneider Anderson had a question.

50:12 Is he an African-American?

50:14 Rob Schneider Um, no.

50:16 Rob Schneider Okay. Now, let me ask you something else, though. Did you ask him, would you rather be with a fat girl than me?

50:21 Rob Schneider Yeah. And he says no.

50:23 Rob Schneider Okay. All right. Well, then he's not insane.

50:25 Drew Did he say, I, did he say?

50:27 Rob Schneider His last girlfriend was really fat.

50:29 Rob Schneider Oh, weird. Wow. Okay.

50:31 Rob Schneider Well, then maybe.

50:33 Rob Schneider He's really skinny.

50:35 Rob Schneider Right. Well, you know what?

50:36 Drew Jack Frat could eat no fat. Jack Spratt, whatever.

50:39 Rob Schneider You know, there is, you know, not a lot you can do about this.

50:44 Drew But let's sort of back it off a little bit and say that there's a difference between what guys want in a girlfriend and what they look at in pornography sometimes. True that. That the visual images, in order to be highly arousing, may need to be exaggerated for men sometimes.

51:00 Rob Schneider And also, you know, it just is some sort of outlet for him since she's a chronic masturbator.

51:04 Drew Which is a different kind of thing.

51:05 Rob Schneider You know, and so it's like, do you ask him, does he think about you when he's pleasuring himself?

51:11 Drew What does that happen?

51:11 Rob Schneider Well, I don't ask because...

51:13 Rob Schneider You lie and say yes.

51:15 Rob Schneider I'm trying to help him out.

51:17 Rob Schneider What's that?

51:17 Drew Maybe Lindsay's mom's fat and he thinks perhaps she'll become fat.

51:21 Rob Schneider No, well, the other thing is that...

51:24 Drew And it's your diabolical.

51:26 Rob Schneider Yeah, that's brutal. Huh?

51:27 Drew What's that?

51:28 Rob Schneider He likes masturbating or like dry humping more than sex.

51:34 Rob Schneider Sounds like a winner this day.

51:35 Rob Schneider And he never lasts a long time.

51:37 Rob Schneider How do you...

51:37 Rob Schneider Like maybe like five minutes or something. He has like premature ejaculation, I think.

51:42 Rob Schneider How do you not leave this guy? I mean, he's got so many things going for him. He loves fat women. He's a chronic masturbator. And he's horrible in bed. I mean, how do you walk away from a guy who's this kind of gold? I mean, does he have a good job there, Lindsay?

51:59 Rob Schneider Oh, no.

52:01 Rob Schneider All right.

52:02 Rob Schneider What does he do?

52:03 Drew Another plus.

52:04 Rob Schneider Remind me which Starbucks to not go to.

52:05 Rob Schneider He's a student.

52:07 Rob Schneider Yeah, yeah.

52:08 Rob Schneider Well, Lindsay, aim a little higher. How about just a chronic masturbator, not a chronic masturbator who's chronically masturbating at fat porn?

52:19 Drew And who doesn't like to have sex.

52:21 Rob Schneider And who, yeah, maybe can last more than 30 seconds.

52:24 Drew I don't know, Lindsay. It's all a little suspicious. I, you know, you know, why do you like this guy?

52:29 Rob Schneider I mean, I'm kind of I know there's some great qualities you've mentioned, but what is it? What is it that attracted you to him?

52:36 Rob Schneider I don't know.

52:37 Rob Schneider I.

52:38 Rob Schneider I don't know. I just really like him. I mean, I don't know.

52:42 Rob Schneider I never like the stereotypical, like hot, whatever guys like. I just like.

52:48 Rob Schneider You know what? You like losers. No, no.

52:50 Drew Lindsay likes dorky losers.

52:53 Rob Schneider Chronic masturbating dorky losers. Why couldn't I meet a Lindsay when I was in high school?

52:57 Drew When you were chronic masturbating dorky losers?

52:59 Rob Schneider When I was chronic masturbating to fat porn. Why couldn't I?

53:02 Drew Yeah, Lindsay, what do you want from us? You like this guy?

53:05 Rob Schneider You like him? You seem like you got what you wanted.

53:08 Drew Yeah. There's nothing we can do to talk you out of this.

53:09 Rob Schneider Let us know how that works out.

53:10 Drew There may be more fulfilling ways to go through life with this guy.

53:14 Rob Schneider I see some very happy children in your future. Chronic and masturbating. Hello.

53:18 Drew Michelle 26 here. I'm with Rob Schneider.

53:20 Rob Schneider Hi, babe.

53:21 Rob Schneider Hi. I'm great to be on here and I'm glad I listened to the show tonight because you guys have had some interesting calls.

53:27 Drew Indeed we have.

53:28 Rob Schneider Last night was better. But go ahead.

53:30 Rob Schneider Actually, yeah. Last night was better. I was just as tired as I commute.

53:33 Rob Schneider I don't know.

53:34 Rob Schneider Okay. What's going on? I'm sorry.

53:36 Rob Schneider That's okay. I know you want me to get to the question. When I'm having sex, I orgasm usually about, I had to average about eight, nine times. And I want to know if actually that's going to be detrimental in the long run.

53:48 Rob Schneider Yeah, if the guy ever goes out with somebody else. Yeah, you'll kill him. He'll kill himself.

53:53 Rob Schneider Oh my God, I'm over. I can't do it anymore. My last girlfriend, she went off all the time.

53:59 Drew Yeah, you're one of those women that will have the multiple multiples, not just sequential. No, some women can have 20, 30, even 40.

54:06 Rob Schneider Yeah, yeah.

54:06 Rob Schneider But they're not killers though. Basically the one, if you go out, you're going to have little tiny orgasms. But if they add it up to one killer, right? You know, is that what I'm saying? They're small orgasms, right?

54:16 Rob Schneider No, actually, usually I have three really big ones.

54:18 Rob Schneider Yeah, yeah. Me too.

54:21 Drew And how long does it take you to have the first one?

54:24 Rob Schneider Depending upon what he's doing, if it's oral or hand, really quick, if it's just intercourse for the first one, it takes me a little bit longer.

54:34 Drew So it is kind of more of the sequential picture here.

54:36 Rob Schneider Yeah, well, you're very orgasmic. Yeah, you're easily turned on.

54:40 Drew There are women that even go above this.

54:42 Rob Schneider Yeah, you probably should go on motorcycle rides and go horseback riding for hours and go to the beach.

54:48 Drew Yeah, having the multiple orgasm is something that's biologically in you.

54:51 Rob Schneider Yeah, yeah, yeah.

54:52 Drew And it's nothing that you can sort of wear out.

54:54 Rob Schneider I don't know, what should you rather there, Michelle? I mean, having multiple orgasms or no orgasms?

54:59 Rob Schneider Well, no, multiples, I have to say.

55:01 Rob Schneider Okay.

55:01 Rob Schneider The first time I had sex with a guy, I had no orgasms and that sucked.

55:05 Rob Schneider Well, that's usual, that's pretty constant.

55:07 Drew Yeah, that's...

55:08 Rob Schneider For the women of the subject, Dr. Drew and I.

55:10 Drew Right. Young males are pretty much clueless.

55:13 Rob Schneider Well, you sound okay. I mean, is you're worried about long-term health with sensitivity? No.

55:17 Rob Schneider Yeah, I'm just worried about sensitivity because I, like, after like a full like 30, 40-minute session with the foreplay and everything, by the end, particularly like the clitoris is just worn out.

55:30 Rob Schneider I know. Well, the next day you're okay, though, right? You bounce right back, right?

55:34 Drew Here's the deal. You may want to avoid using like vibrators and that kind of thing because you seem to have difficulty sort of stopping. You keep going. That could desensitize things. And maybe you want to stop at six or seven instead of nine.

55:44 Rob Schneider Why don't you try like, you know, not touching each other for the first 10 minutes, see what happens.

55:49 Drew Jennifer 26, what's up there?

55:51 Rob Schneider Hi. I just got a question for Rob.

55:53 Rob Schneider Hi. What's going on, Jennifer?

55:55 Rob Schneider Nothing. I think you're really cute and all but what's wrong with liking fat women?

55:59 Rob Schneider I said there's nothing wrong with liking fat women. I just think if you're chronically masturbating to fat women.

56:06 Drew When you're with a skinny girl.

56:07 Rob Schneider Yeah. I mean, it's a little odd. It's a little odd.

56:10 Drew He was with a fat girl before and that made sense. And now all of a sudden he's with a skinny girl and masturbating.

56:14 Rob Schneider Nothing wrong. There's nothing wrong with liking fat chicks. I would say this.

56:18 Drew Some guys are really, really into that. They're those guys that just really love that.

56:23 Rob Schneider I don't like skinny women. I don't like...

56:25 Drew Most guys don't, by the way.

56:26 Rob Schneider Yeah. I'm worried about breaking someone. I don't want any bones breaking.

56:31 Drew But you couldn't break... You couldn't break Jennifer.

56:32 Rob Schneider No.

56:33 Rob Schneider You wouldn't break me.

56:33 Rob Schneider Well, Jennifer, how... Okay, how big are you, Jennifer?

56:37 Rob Schneider I am 270.

56:40 Rob Schneider Whoo!

56:41 Rob Schneider And I'm 5'6.

56:43 Rob Schneider 5'6. Well, at least you got some height to balance that out. But now... But are you... I mean, you feel like that's healthy for you?

56:52 Rob Schneider I'm actually losing a lot of weight.

56:54 Rob Schneider I've had a gastric bypass.

56:56 Rob Schneider Great. Okay. Well, the thing is, I would say, you know, if you're healthy, no matter what size you are, whether physically or mentally healthy, then you're all right. But chances are someone as 5'6, 270 pounds has some, you know, it has some health issues. I mean, you never hear of that 100-year-old 300-pound person. You just don't hear it because...

57:18 Rob Schneider I have no health issues.

57:20 Rob Schneider Okay, well...

57:21 Drew You're fat. Well, you will very quickly, as you age, get to hypertension and diabetes. That's pretty much predictable when you...

57:27 Rob Schneider And high blood pressure and then maybe you're...

57:29 Rob Schneider Losing the weight.

57:30 Drew Good. No, it's all great.

57:31 Rob Schneider No, no, it's excellent. But let me tell you, you're feeling better about yourself now that you're losing some weight, though?

57:37 Rob Schneider Oh, absolutely. I've always felt good about myself.

57:39 Caller I just knew it wasn't healthy to be out of some weight.

57:41 Rob Schneider Perfect.

57:42 Rob Schneider So I've been losing it.

57:43 Rob Schneider Well, nothing wrong. And you're going to find some guy out there who can chronically masturbate, I guarantee you. Now, can we just talk about this stuff, though? Now, gastric bypass. Now, it's not the 100% answer for this thing, because you can't, basically, you're dealing with your stomach, it's the size of a walnut, plus, right?

57:59 Drew Yeah, it's a complicated question. The fact is that...

58:03 Rob Schneider No answer.

58:04 Drew Well, here's the fact currently, is that when you look at people that are dangerously overweight or have morbid obesity... Yeah, it's better to have that. They never lose it. That's just, statistically, they just don't. Now, I watched The Biggest Loser tonight, and it was very inspiring with the way they presented what they did there. But these people had to set aside four months of their life, and really, I mean...

58:21 Rob Schneider But most people aren't going to do that.

58:23 Drew Most people can't do that, or don't know how they're able to do that, don't have resources for that. But maybe that's an intervention. That's one possibility. Now, what's going to happen soon is a lot of people with this kind of obesity, it's a genetically determined thing. It's something that's just in their genes. And it has often something to do with the way the hormones in the body works in terms of the relationship between the stomach and the brain. And there's something called leptin, there's various other hormones that mediate hunger that they're going to have blocking agents for soon. So there may be ways to get the weight off of these people.

58:51 Rob Schneider I'd say that's partly the problem. The other problem is there's a lot of crap out there that you can eat that has zero, has a ton of sugar and crap in there that just doesn't have any value in nutrients. And so you're basically starving, but you're still eating and still eating and eating, but you feel like you're starving.

59:11 Drew Anyway, listen to Jennifer, listen to what size her parents were. Jennifer, how big were your parents?

59:18 Rob Schneider My parents weren't that big.

59:19 Drew They were not that big. Did you have some reason that you were eating excessively? Do you have an eating disorder?

59:25 Rob Schneider I had a grandmother.

59:27 Drew And she forced food on you?

59:29 Rob Schneider Basically.

59:30 Drew Were you ever abused or anything as a kid?

59:32 Rob Schneider No, never abused.

59:33 Drew Just people just encourage you to eat all the time?

59:36 Rob Schneider Right. And you know what? Well, the women in my family do tend to be kind of big.

59:40 Rob Schneider How big?

59:42 Rob Schneider They usually run about my size.

59:44 Drew That was my question.

59:45 Rob Schneider Was mom your size?

59:46 Drew Yeah, was mom your size?

59:48 Rob Schneider No. Not at all.

59:49 Drew Everybody except mom?

59:51 Everybody except my mom.

59:52 Rob Schneider Okay. Well, that's basically the question.

59:54 Drew Find out what mom did and do the same thing.

59:56 Rob Schneider Mom, what are you eating? I'm over there. I want my mom's on mom's plate.

1:00:00 Drew These are terribly complex questions. Who has a genetic thing vs. not? Who has a behavior thing vs. an abuse thing? Who has a hormonal thing? There are people under study that actually have these disorders where they can't get full. They just can't. It's a biological process. And so a lot of the studies on these blocking agents are being done on these kinds of guys. Here is Mark, who's 21.

1:00:21 Rob Schneider Hey Mark.

1:00:22 Rob Schneider Hey, what's up Dr. Drew?

1:00:24 Drew Mark, what's happening?

1:00:25 Rob Schneider How's it going there, buddy?

1:00:25 Drew Rob Schneider.

1:00:26 Rob Schneider Hey, what's up brother?

1:00:28 Rob Schneider How are things in Chino?

1:00:30 Rob Schneider Excuse me?

1:00:30 Rob Schneider How are things up in Chino?

1:00:32 Rob Schneider Uh, it's chill.

1:00:33 Rob Schneider Pretty good. Chill.

1:00:35 Caller Good something to drink.

1:00:36 Rob Schneider I just want to say, long time listener, first time caller.

1:00:39 Caller Cool.

1:00:39 Drew What's happening?

1:00:41 Rob Schneider Um, I got a problem with my girlfriend.

1:00:44 Rob Schneider Okay.

1:00:45 Rob Schneider She seems the only orgasm when I put something on her anus.

1:00:49 Rob Schneider She insists on it too, a lot of the time.

1:00:53 Rob Schneider Okay.

1:00:54 Drew And your question is?

1:00:57 Rob Schneider We're not stunned.

1:00:59 Rob Schneider Excuse me?

1:01:00 Rob Schneider We're not shocked.

1:01:01 Rob Schneider But go ahead.

1:01:02 Drew What's your question?

1:01:03 Rob Schneider What's your question?

1:01:04 Rob Schneider Yeah, I was wondering, I don't know if it's healthy.

1:01:06 I've been doing it so much.

1:01:07 Drew That's bogus. Nope, that's bogus.

1:01:09 Rob Schneider Alright, good, good, good. There you go.

1:01:11 Drew Grace 17. By the way, see, it's always bogus when there's no question or should I confront them or I was wondering, is it the right thing to do? That's not a question.

1:01:21 Rob Schneider I'm learning.

1:01:22 Drew Grace 17.

1:01:24 Rob Schneider Hi, Grace.

1:01:25 Drew Oh, she hung up on us too. How about that? Let's go right on to Brenn, who's 22. Brenn?

1:01:31 Rob Schneider I love you guys.

1:01:32 Rob Schneider That's just all I want to say.

1:01:35 Drew Thanks, Brenn.

1:01:35 Rob Schneider Thanks, Brenn. That's it?

1:01:37 Rob Schneider That's it?

1:01:38 Rob Schneider You're awesome.

1:01:39 Drew That's what you call to tell us?

1:01:41 Rob Schneider No, no. My climate is just normal because when I have sex, I like the guy to choke me and to slap me around and to pull my hair, but I mean, I've never been abused.

1:01:57 Rob Schneider Okay. Any problem there? Hey, what? Now, I mean, you slapped around. I mean, that's not just the occasional spanking, right? I mean, you like to be, have you been bruised? Do you have to go to work with like a big bruise or? Total neck?

1:02:14 Rob Schneider Yeah.

1:02:14 Rob Schneider Or?

1:02:16 Rob Schneider Well, my cheeks get really full and like my face cheeks.

1:02:20 Rob Schneider You slapped you in the face?

1:02:21 Rob Schneider Yeah.

1:02:23 Rob Schneider Wow.

1:02:24 Rob Schneider Okay. Now, hang on here.

1:02:26 Drew What do you mean you've never been abused? What does that mean to you?

1:02:29 Rob Schneider Um, like, I've never been abused by anybody, you know, like.

1:02:35 Drew What does abuse mean? Maybe we're defining these things differently. Yeah.

1:02:38 Caller Well, sexually.

1:02:40 Drew Uh-huh.

1:02:40 Rob Schneider Have your parents ever hit you?

1:02:43 Caller Um, no.

1:02:45 Rob Schneider No.

1:02:46 Drew Rob, your parents ever hit you?

1:02:47 Rob Schneider Yes. Okay.

1:02:50 Drew Okay.

1:02:50 Rob Schneider Okay.

1:02:51 Drew That's where this comes from. Things that are, things that are mortifying and terrifying as a child become sources of arousal in adulthood for various reasons. You can sort of think of it as all that, all that abuse, physical abuse, sort of burns out your arousal centers. They don't work as well when you grow up and you kind of are attracted to that because that is now a source of arousal.

1:03:11 Rob Schneider Exactly. But, um, you know, where do you go from here though, if you're getting slapped around, beaten around? Um, you like it though. That's the only way you feel excited?

1:03:22 Rob Schneider Yeah, that's right. And like sometimes I even ask them like to choke me or to just like pull my hair really hard, like to bend my head back and stuff.

1:03:31 Rob Schneider Well, you could, that's, the good thing about that is it's not dangerous. Nothing bad can happen when you're getting choked.

1:03:38 Drew Nothing at all.

1:03:39 Rob Schneider Or throwing your head back.

1:03:40 Drew You don't need much blood or oxygen to your brain. I mean, what the hell, that's not something to be afraid of.

1:03:44 Rob Schneider Well, I don't know. I think you got to find something else to like. I think that's just the-

1:03:48 Drew I mean- You may want to get this looked into a little bit.

1:03:50 Rob Schneider You may need to talk to somebody.

1:03:52 Drew Because this is not going to stop here, I suspect.

1:03:56 Rob Schneider I don't know. If I really like the woman, and she said to me, Slap me, hit me, please beat me, take that tire iron to my face, please. I'm going to get out of there. I'm going to go, you know what? If I really like you, I would say, you need to go see someone.

1:04:11 Drew You're going to get a little freaked out, too, and go, blah, blah, blah.

1:04:13 Rob Schneider Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:04:14 Rob Schneider I just think that's, you know, if you cared about it.

1:04:16 Drew How about just sort of rough play?

1:04:18 Rob Schneider Well, a little bit I think would be okay. As long as it's in the safe thing, as long as they had some like, hey, this is, no, hey, that's too much.

1:04:26 You pansy!

1:04:27 Drew The problem is that this kind of thing tends to escalate.

1:04:31 Rob Schneider Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:04:32 Rob Schneider She's not going to be happy just with the occasional slap and punch.

1:04:34 Drew Yeah, going there with the red cheeks, swollen cheeks from being smacked. That's a little bit concerning here. This is Tony 24.

1:04:42 Rob Schneider Hey, what's up, Dr. Drew? You're a genius.

1:04:46 Drew And you love Rob Schneider. Rob is a genius, too.

1:04:49 Rob Schneider He never gets old, man.

1:04:51 Rob Schneider Oh, thanks, man. Been a few years now, to be honest with you. So what's going on up there, Tony?

1:04:58 Rob Schneider I'm from Frisco, and...

1:05:00 Rob Schneider You're obviously not from Frisco if you say Frisco.

1:05:03 Drew No one says that from up there.

1:05:05 Rob Schneider Because in LA., people be like San Fran. But if you're in Frisco, you say Frisco or the Sko.

1:05:11 Rob Schneider No, you're obviously from the East Bay, because you don't say San Francisco. What do you say? You say San Francisco. No one who loves San Francisco says Frisco. It's such an insult to me. I'm from San Francisco.

1:05:23 Drew Huh?

1:05:23 Rob Schneider All the young say Frisco.

1:05:25 Rob Schneider Where do you live?

1:05:26 Drew You live in Hayward.

1:05:27 Rob Schneider You live in the 510 area code?

1:05:30 Rob Schneider I live in the 405. I live in the Inner Richmond.

1:05:34 Rob Schneider What street? What street?

1:05:36 Rob Schneider I live on 37th and Tarvel. All right.

1:05:39 Rob Schneider Maybe he's right.

1:05:41 Drew Maybe the new generation, Rob, to come in with some new lingo here, dude.

1:05:45 Rob Schneider Not a lot of respect to you people in the Richmond. Let me say that right now. You kids today, you knew what you were saying, Frisco, I don't like it. So what's your deal? What do you got going on?

1:05:55 Rob Schneider It's really easy to frequent the massage parlors, the red light district, prostitutes, all the good...

1:06:03 Rob Schneider It is?

1:06:03 Rob Schneider You work on them?

1:06:05 Rob Schneider Yeah, every time. I don't do anything bareback, but I'm just frequenting this stuff too much, and I'm pretty much going broke.

1:06:12 Drew What do you mean frequent? How often?

1:06:14 Rob Schneider Maybe like, a month.

1:06:17 Drew Twice a month?

1:06:18 Rob Schneider It used to be worse, but then I kind of backed off.

1:06:21 Drew When it was at its worst, how often?

1:06:23 Rob Schneider I think twice a month. I think this guy's kicking butt. You're doing alright.

1:06:25 Drew At the worst, what was it?

1:06:27 Rob Schneider Like, five times a month, spending about 160 each time.

1:06:31 Drew Like with every good addiction, multiply it times too.

1:06:34 Rob Schneider Right, right, right.

1:06:35 Drew So, what do you want to know, Tony?

1:06:38 Rob Schneider You've got it down to twice a month?

1:06:39 Rob Schneider Someone said go to SA., but like, what do I do there, when I get there, and like, what's that all about?

1:06:46 Drew It's about people like yourself. Do you have any trauma growing up?

1:06:49 Rob Schneider Yeah, you know what, there's a reason why you're going to a lot. I mean, you obviously have some issues with women, because you're not having, if you're frequenting women, as you say, five times a month, prostitutes, massage parlors, strip clubs, then you have a problem in relationships with women, obviously, otherwise you're not having normal relations. You could be having normal strip relations, normal massage parlor relations, but you're having difficulty relating to women, and there's a need to want to do this, and it's coming from something in your past, so let's just talk about that for a second before we hang up on you. What is the deal? I mean, why are you not having a normal relationship? When was the last normal relationship you had with a woman?

1:07:28 Rob Schneider Probably about six months ago. How much? Six months ago?

1:07:32 Rob Schneider Yeah.

1:07:33 Rob Schneider I hooked up with some Filipino chick for probably about five months, and then I...

1:07:38 Rob Schneider Okay, but during that five months, you were seeing other strippers, right? And massage parlor things, right?

1:07:43 Rob Schneider I feel like maybe the third month, yeah, I started.

1:07:46 Rob Schneider Okay. All right, so you weren't having a deep, meaningful relationship with this Filipino girl you hooked up with. So it's probably not this relationship that scarred you for life.

1:07:57 Drew Right. It robs onto this here that you're having trouble being close to people, particularly women, and you still have to be sexual, and that's the only way you can sort of feel close is through this sort of exploitation of women.

1:08:07 Rob Schneider But it's also safe because they're women at a distance. You don't have to have a real relationship with them. You're just paying them to get what you want, sex, and then you're away.

1:08:13 Drew That's exactly right. It's usually difficult with proximity and closeness of other minds that make people sort of act out like this. And that's often an abuse history set up. And if you have alcoholism or addiction to your family, then it tends to activate a part of the brain that tends to drive this a little more powerfully than average. So that's what SA is about. People who have your story, your genetic makeup, and you go in there and you'll find a bunch of Tonys there. And they can tell you, they can support you, help you sort of decrease the amount of shame you're feeling about this. And give you some suggestions how you can manage this.

1:08:42 Rob Schneider Because you're not alone in this degenerate thing that is encompassing your entire life. However, you don't want to do this forever. You know, there is a reason. You want to have a normal relationship. Find a girl that you can have a relationship with and go see a movie. Don't just try to have sex with her or take her to a strip club and do some weird sort of thing. He'll keep going with the process and stuff. But there's another level you can probably try to get to. And I would say this. Do get something out of your life. Because it's another way of like, you know, it's an addiction. Your addiction is a way to avoid things in your life and avoid your problems. And so whatever you're dealing with, you know, make something of your life. And then the chances are you'll be less likely to do that. But definitely go seek some help.

1:09:24 Drew Essay, it's a good program. Check it out. This is 1-800-LOVE-191. We're Loveline. Rob Schneider is the guest host tonight. We're talking to people in Frisco.

1:09:33 Rob Schneider Weird people in Frisco.

1:09:34 Drew And we'll be back after this. Loveline. We'll be right back. It's Loveline, 1-800-LOB-E-191.

1:09:51 Rob Schneider Kind of a mellow night.

1:09:52 Drew One and only Rob Schneider.

1:09:53 Rob Schneider Thank you, Doc. It's kind of mellow. Not too crazy tonight.

1:09:56 Drew The calls have been kind of crazy, though, right?

1:09:58 Rob Schneider They're a little crazy, but not the energy and the stupidity of last night's calls, which I really enjoy.

1:10:03 Drew We gotta have some crescendos and decrescendos.

1:10:06 Rob Schneider Oh, yeah, I guess it's kind of a dip Tuesday, I think. I like this show.

1:10:10 Drew I like this show. Kathy, 17.

1:10:11 Rob Schneider Hi, Cass.

1:10:12 Rob Schneider Hi.

1:10:13 Drew What's going on?

1:10:14 Rob Schneider Hi, hon.

1:10:15 Rob Schneider Hi. I don't moan when I'm having sex with my boyfriend. And like, it's a really big turn on for him. And I want to, but for some reason I keep it in me. Like thinking.

1:10:29 Rob Schneider Okay. Let me ask, do you live alone? Do you live at your parents' house?

1:10:33 Rob Schneider No, I live alone right now.

1:10:35 Drew At 17, you moved out of the house?

1:10:36 Rob Schneider Yes, I moved. I live with a roommate, but she's never home. She's almost home.

1:10:41 Drew Why are you out of the house?

1:10:42 Rob Schneider Excuse me?

1:10:43 Drew Why are you out of the house?

1:10:44 Rob Schneider Did you graduate high school?

1:10:46 Rob Schneider I'm actually still going to high school.

1:10:47 Rob Schneider Why aren't you living with your parents?

1:10:50 Rob Schneider Because I live with my dad, and my parents are divorced. I live with my dad, and he has a new wife, and we don't get along, so my dad's actually paying for rent and everything.

1:11:03 Rob Schneider Well, that sounds like a good compromise there. Well, my new wife doesn't like you, honey, so here's a good deal. Cathy, you're going to go live over here by yourself, but don't, for goodness sakes, let's not have loud sex over there, because I'll still be able to hear you. Well, I don't know if that's a good compromise. How do you feel about that?

1:11:22 Rob Schneider I'm okay with it. I don't think there's any problem with it.

1:11:27 Drew You sound just generally very, I guess meek, mousy is sort of the word.

1:11:33 Rob Schneider Everything's okay. You let people walk on you.

1:11:35 Drew Right, like you don't want to be heard in general. So it makes sense that when you're in intimate situations, you still don't want to be heard. You don't want people to take note.

1:11:42 Rob Schneider That's interesting.

1:11:43 Drew You know, that's sort of what you feel like, Kathy.

1:11:44 Rob Schneider You want to please everybody, even if it means, you know, Dad, you just go ahead and live with the new wife and I'll just go live under a bus station.

1:11:51 Drew I'll be quiet. I'll be quiet.

1:11:52 Rob Schneider I'm fine. I've got a cardboard box and some ciggies. I'm good. I got my flip flops and a tank top.

1:12:00 Drew Ciggies.

1:12:01 Rob Schneider Some shorts. I'm good, thanks. I don't know, I'll go, I'll just borrow money from strangers and have quiet sex in my own place.

1:12:09 Drew Kathy, there's nothing we can really say that's going to make you express yourself more openly.

1:12:13 Rob Schneider Let me ask you this. Let me ask you this. If you were able to moan during sex, do you think that would make your boyfriend completely happy with you?

1:12:20 Rob Schneider Um, maybe.

1:12:21 Drew Maybe Rob, you ought to give her a little coaching. A little coaching session right now.

1:12:24 Rob Schneider Let me tell you this. Here's what I like to hear.

1:12:26 Rob Schneider Oh, oh, oh.

1:12:31 Rob Schneider Try that. See if he, see if, I guarantee you, he won't want you to moan anymore. I want you to keep it quiet next time.

1:12:37 Drew Does she have to make that tongue sound at the end too? The raspberry sound?

1:12:42 Rob Schneider Listen, Kathy, just let, you know what, you get to know how long you've been with this guy.

1:12:46 Rob Schneider Um, two years.

1:12:48 Rob Schneider Two years?

1:12:50 Drew How old is he?

1:12:50 Rob Schneider Oh man, how old is he? 30. 19, well that's kind of, whatever. Hey look, if he really likes you, that's not a problem. It's not a problem, but your relationship with your father is a problem. It's not okay for him to kick you out of the house because he doesn't get along with his new wife while you're still in high school. That's messed up and that makes you, you're letting people walk on you. And you know, you should see somebody about that and you shouldn't put up with things that, that, like that. I don't know.

1:13:15 Drew Stephanie's 20.

1:13:16 Rob Schneider Hi Stephanie.

1:13:17 Rob Schneider Hey.

1:13:18 Drew Hey, what's happening?

1:13:19 Rob Schneider Uh, we'll say hi before we go.

1:13:20 Rob Schneider You're from San Francisco, you're from San Francisco, right?

1:13:22 Drew She's 20.

1:13:23 Rob Schneider Yeah.

1:13:24 Rob Schneider Okay, you don't say Frisco, right?

1:13:26 Rob Schneider No.

1:13:27 Rob Schneider Okay, thank God. So, what's up?

1:13:30 Rob Schneider Okay, so yeah, I went out with this separated guy for about seven months or, yeah. And recently he returned with his wife, but to me, he's still been, like, going out with me and, you know, still, you know, he's still been doing it and stuff.

1:13:48 Drew And what's your question? That's surprising to you?

1:13:51 Rob Schneider Why not? Why wouldn't he? You're still giving it up.

1:13:54 Rob Schneider I mean, I was wondering, like, why would he go back with his wife and still...

1:13:59 Rob Schneider Because it's safe. Because he can still bang you.

1:14:02 Drew Yeah. He got, guys will have sex if they're able to.

1:14:05 Rob Schneider Yeah. You know, you know, it's not a thing of like, hey, you know what, honey, I can't see anymore. I'm having sex with somebody else. No, it's like a potpourri. It's like, what else do I got? It's a buffet. It's a sexual buffet. Can I put something else on my tray? I'll take that. Let me have this.

1:14:18 Drew Any of you who are sleeping with a married guy, the guy who keeps telling you that he's going to leave his wife, it is never going to happen. Because a male, whatever women are listening to this comment, whatever man is sleeping with you, it doesn't have anything necessarily to do with how he feels about you. It doesn't mean he loves you just because he's sleeping with you. He loves his wife. He's committed to his wife. He doesn't want to divorce. It's a whole mischigas when he divorces. But at the same time, if he wants to have sex with Stephanie, so you go.

1:14:44 Rob Schneider Why wouldn't he?

1:14:45 Drew He's already proved himself to be sort of an a-hole.

1:14:47 Rob Schneider But you have to ask yourself something. What are you doing with this creepy married guy?

1:14:56 Rob Schneider Well, I don't know. I mean, we still go out to movies. He still takes me out to dinner.

1:15:00 Drew What are you doing?

1:15:01 Rob Schneider What are you doing dating a married guy? What is wrong with you that you're doing this?

1:15:07 Rob Schneider I liked him. I didn't know he was the test.

1:15:11 Rob Schneider When you did know he was married and he said he separated, why was that still okay with you?

1:15:17 Rob Schneider Well, because he said it was more than five years already.

1:15:21 Rob Schneider Huh? He's a liar. Why are you still sleeping with this guy who's a liar? Why do you think so little of yourself? You're sleeping with this loser liar.

1:15:31 Rob Schneider I don't know.

1:15:33 Rob Schneider I don't know. You know, honestly, you can hit the blue button there. I don't feel... It's so hard to feel sorry for women who allow themselves to be manipulated and used in this situation. Obviously, she's getting something out of this. And it's like she's going to continue to meet guys who step on her and use her, and that's just going to be her existence until she decides to feel...

1:15:50 Drew You know, dude, one of the......is attracted to unavailable, exploitative men. There you go. Let's stop that.

1:15:55 Rob Schneider Loser.

1:15:56 Drew Alex, 16.

1:15:58 Rob Schneider What's up, Alex?

1:16:00 Rob Schneider Oh, hey.

1:16:01 Rob Schneider Yo.

1:16:02 Rob Schneider Hey.

1:16:03 Rob Schneider Okay, I'm reading what it says here. Alex started smoking pot. I'm thinking that the pot's still going on.

1:16:09 Rob Schneider Oh, yeah.

1:16:10 Rob Schneider Oh, no. Okay, so.

1:16:12 Rob Schneider Yeah.

1:16:13 Rob Schneider Oh, uh-huh. What?

1:16:15 Rob Schneider When I was in ninth grade.

1:16:17 Rob Schneider Yeah.

1:16:17 Rob Schneider Smoked herb, like, every day.

1:16:20 Rob Schneider You smoke herb, like, every day. Well, that's a good idea. When you're 14, that's good for your developing brain.

1:16:25 Rob Schneider Yeah.

1:16:26 Rob Schneider Very good. Get that in there.

1:16:28 Rob Schneider Yeah, you know.

1:16:29 Rob Schneider Yeah, yeah. You know what you're doing, man. You got good parents, too. So what happened then?

1:16:34 Rob Schneider So, yeah, so I had a 3.5 then, like, GPA.

1:16:39 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

1:16:39 Rob Schneider And then.

1:16:41 Rob Schneider How many of those were shop classes? How many of those were shop and wood shop? Come on, auto shop. Metal. What?

1:16:48 Rob Schneider What?

1:16:49 Rob Schneider Only one.

1:16:51 Rob Schneider Okay. All right. This you got one of there. Okay. So go on.

1:16:54 Rob Schneider So, yeah. Yeah. And then I got caught and my GPA like, well, okay, so I got caught. So I had to stop and my GPA went down to like a 0.2 and then a 1.0 and stuff like that.

1:17:08 Rob Schneider So I was wondering if it can help with like, Well, I'm going to say this as a Raids and stuff. There's other stuff going on in your life, obviously. I mean, you sound like you're extremely depressed. You know, you have trouble saying a third word of each of your sentences. So what else is going on in your life?

1:17:26 Drew What are the drugs you're doing besides pot?

1:17:29 Rob Schneider I haven't done anything for a while. For a while, I was doing shrooms and dust.

1:17:33 Drew Angel dust?

1:17:35 Rob Schneider No, it's not the dust that made your grades go bad. Don't blame the dust.

1:17:40 Drew Were you were you huffing also?

1:17:41 Rob Schneider Everybody blames the angel dust on their grades going bad. It's never the...

1:17:45 Drew Were you huffing also?

1:17:47 Rob Schneider No.

1:17:48 Drew Alex? Alex, you sound like a huffer.

1:17:53 Rob Schneider Huffer?

1:17:53 Rob Schneider What's that?

1:17:54 Drew The inhaling hydrocarbons and gassing.

1:17:56 Rob Schneider Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:17:57 Rob Schneider Why not? Didn't one of your friends turn you on to that? You're dust buddies. You should be pissed at your dust buddies for not turning you on to the inhalers.

1:18:05 Drew All right, so here's the deal, Alex. Your question says on the board here, they have a question, is pot good for ADD? And it is definitely the case that kids with ADD like pot more than average. And for a short period of time, it may correct some of the ADD symptoms, but ultimately things get a lot worse as you're finding out. And then when you stop the marijuana, there can be a profound depression that follows. Now you add to that angel dust, which can affect cognition for sure, and mushrooms, which we believe, although I've never seen a study that shows this, it should affect mood and cognition as well. So you've been doing a lot of drugs that affects your brain and your brain development. Naturally enough, makes it very difficult.

1:18:41 Rob Schneider You sound like a winner, Alex. You sound like you should have gone out with that last girl who likes married chicks.

1:18:45 Drew You need help, Alex, and somebody needs to take you to get some help.

1:18:48 Rob Schneider Let me ask you, do you have your parent, do you live with your parents together?

1:18:52 Rob Schneider Yeah.

1:18:53 Rob Schneider Okay. What's your relationship like with your dad?

1:18:58 Rob Schneider Whatever.

1:18:58 Rob Schneider He's here.

1:19:00 Rob Schneider Okay. So you don't get along good with your dad?

1:19:03 Rob Schneider I guess not.

1:19:04 Rob Schneider All right.

1:19:06 Drew You sound so depressed, Alex. You're so depressed.

1:19:10 Rob Schneider And I just want to like a new ADD medication and like whatever.

1:19:16 Rob Schneider Yeah. Well, you know what? Let me just tell you some, Alex, it's, you know, don't think the answer is going to be in a new kind of drug. It's not going to be like they're going to prescribe something and it's going to be the be all end all. Just like pot wasn't the answer, just like dust wasn't the answer. This, they can give you the best new ADD drug that exists on in the universe. It's not going to answer your problem. Your problem is you're depressed and you need to talk to somebody who can start to help you organize your thoughts and help you realize where this depression is coming from.

1:19:44 Drew You might try a little 12 Steps. Sometimes if you can tolerate that against 16 year olds, it's difficult to do that kind of work. But definitely you need some professional supervision on this. Lauren 17.

1:19:55 Rob Schneider Hello. Hello. Hello, Rob Schneider. I just wanted to say hi. I have a question. I have this sort of unnatural, you could say, obsession with blood.

1:20:13 Rob Schneider That's hot.

1:20:14 Rob Schneider That is so hot.

1:20:16 Rob Schneider I think so. Yeah, I know.

1:20:18 Rob Schneider Why wouldn't you?

1:20:20 Rob Schneider Why wouldn't I? Exactly.

1:20:22 Rob Schneider Who doesn't, for that matter?

1:20:25 Rob Schneider No, but...

1:20:26 Rob Schneider Okay. All right. You also have a problem with saying things quickly. That's another thing.

1:20:30 Rob Schneider I'm sorry.

1:20:32 Rob Schneider Talk a little quicker. Come on, Lauren.

1:20:33 Rob Schneider It's been a long day.

1:20:33 Rob Schneider All right, all right, all right.

1:20:34 Rob Schneider Anyway, my question is, is this just a phase? Sometimes, though, it's erotic to the point where, whether they want it or not, I either need to be cut and have the blood, or I need to scratch them so hard that there needs to be blood.

1:20:51 Drew Lauren, Lauren's 17. She sounds like a 37-year-old helicopter pilot.

1:20:55 Rob Schneider Yeah, that's a little advanced for 17. At 17, I was still just trying to grab the boobies.

1:21:00 Drew What's going on here, Lauren? What, what, what?

1:21:02 Rob Schneider Where did this, yeah, how did this start?

1:21:05 Rob Schneider I don't know.

1:21:08 Drew But they, like you have multiple sexual partners, you're very sort of precocious.

1:21:13 Rob Schneider She did use the they were, didn't she?

1:21:15 Drew Yeah.

1:21:15 Rob Schneider So how many guys are you having sex with?

1:21:17 Rob Schneider Um, at the moment, two.

1:21:20 Rob Schneider Okay, so you have multiple partners.

1:21:23 Drew Are they wearing condoms?

1:21:25 Rob Schneider Yes.

1:21:26 Drew All right.

1:21:26 Rob Schneider That is one thing I insist on.

1:21:27 Drew Excellent.

1:21:28 Rob Schneider Good, good. So you have multiple partners.

1:21:30 Drew Are you like an emancipated minor? Do you not live at home? You sound like you're like in a, a nurse in a mass unit.

1:21:36 Rob Schneider I get that a lot. No, I grew up very early.

1:21:39 Drew Clearly.

1:21:40 Rob Schneider Why? Your parents divorced?

1:21:41 Drew Yes.

1:21:42 Rob Schneider Okay.

1:21:43 Drew And what else? Drug addicts?

1:21:44 Rob Schneider Um, mom was a coke addict.

1:21:46 Drew There we go.

1:21:47 Rob Schneider And an alcoholic. My dad.

1:21:49 Rob Schneider Surprise.

1:21:50 Rob Schneider Oh, well, of course.

1:21:52 Rob Schneider I mean, yeah.

1:21:53 Rob Schneider And your dad was what?

1:21:54 Rob Schneider My dad was an alcoholic and was addicted to morphine before I was born. When my beautiful.

1:21:59 Drew That's a beautiful thing.

1:22:00 Rob Schneider Well, you lucked out, didn't you? You won the kind of druggy parental Olympics, didn't you? You won the druggy parent of the lottery. Well, look, now, do you think that you're wanting to cut and scratch and have multiple sex partners at 17? Has anything to do with your?

1:22:17 Drew Did you ever see them shooting up or anything?

1:22:20 Rob Schneider Not that I remember, though. I've blocked a lot of traumatic experiences.

1:22:25 Rob Schneider Like what?

1:22:27 Rob Schneider Well, I remember the first time I was raped, but not after that, which does explain the multiple sexual partners and the promiscuosity that I...

1:22:36 Drew I love that word, promiscuosity.

1:22:38 Rob Schneider That's not a word, is it?

1:22:39 Drew Are you going to write that down?

1:22:41 Rob Schneider I get what it means. I don't know if it's a real word, but I get that you're banging more than one guy.

1:22:44 Drew Have you been treated?

1:22:47 Rob Schneider I was actually in Aurora, the Behavioral Health Center, back in December.

1:22:53 Rob Schneider I go there to pick up chicks. I hang out in the parking lot and look mean like I'm going to cut somebody.

1:22:59 Drew Here's the problem with our society, that Lawrence of the world gets sort of singled out. Girls are just into sex. They're just very sexual. They're just into this.

1:23:06 Rob Schneider Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:23:06 Drew No, Lawrence is a trauma survivor. She's a trauma survivor who's acting out.

1:23:11 Rob Schneider Let me just say this, Lauren. Lauren, now you know your parents are messed up, extremely messed up. Now, do you do any drugs yourself, ever?

1:23:20 Rob Schneider Yes.

1:23:20 Rob Schneider Okay, what drugs do you do?

1:23:23 Rob Schneider MDMA, occasionally DXM, occasionally ketamines. I smoke weed on occasion and I stay away from all alcohol, morphine, coke, anything else.

1:23:34 Drew This is drug abuser. This isn't addiction, thankfully. This is people that abuse drugs, do that combo.

1:23:40 Rob Schneider Okay, now. Wow, you see, now that's, you know, you're getting close to a woman that I can go out with. Then the multi-sex thing was hot there for a while, but the multi-drug thing, I just lost my boner.

1:23:54 Drew Have they given you a diagnosis, a borderline personality, anything like that?

1:23:58 Rob Schneider No, I am starting to think that I am, I have a psychiatrist who has diagnosed me as...

1:24:04 Rob Schneider Bipolar.

1:24:05 Rob Schneider Actually, no, just depressed and antisocial.

1:24:08 Drew Antisocial, female antisocial?

1:24:10 Rob Schneider Wow, I don't know, it sounds like you're antisocial, you're banging every guy on the block. Now, Lauren...

1:24:16 Drew Female antisocials become criminals...

1:24:18 Rob Schneider .needn't necessarily just mean dislike of people, it can mean the truancy that I had the last time.

1:24:23 Drew That's what I said, the female antisocials...

1:24:25 Rob Schneider To a 0.5 GPA when off med.

1:24:27 Drew Female antisocials become sort of criminals and prostitutes, things like that.

1:24:31 Rob Schneider Okay, now, wow, so you're in therapy, but I don't understand why, how can you still be... Doc, help me out here. She's seen a psychiatrist, but she's still doing the drugs.

1:24:41 Drew Lauren needs a lot of work for a long period of time.

1:24:44 Rob Schneider I really do, I know I do.

1:24:46 Drew And, Lauren, the main thing you need is structure. And I'm sure they've suggested to you some sort of residential living environment, yes?

1:24:52 Rob Schneider No, because my dad is actually a very decent person now. Any problems that we have are basically my problem.

1:25:01 Drew I understand. Your parents contribute to this.

1:25:04 Rob Schneider There's no such thing as it's somebody, some people have problems. It's never 100% one person's problem. Oh, I know.

1:25:11 Rob Schneider I said it lovingly.

1:25:12 Rob Schneider No, no, no, no. Believe me, your dad's messed up and maybe he's gotten a little bit together and God love him if he has. However, you have to get into some serious therapy.

1:25:24 Drew Well, long-term, highly structured interpersonal experiences are usually what help this out. What happens in folks like Lauren is amongst other things, the part of their brain that develops perspective taking and empathy doesn't work. That part of the brain hasn't developed yet. And so then that takes, you're literally talking about a growing brain. It takes months if not years.

1:25:43 Rob Schneider Well, I'm always amazed that there's somebody this messed up and I never lived with her at one point in time, you know, I haven't met her. No, but Lauren, the deal is this, Lauren, just seriously, you got, where do you go from here? You're taking multiple drugs, multiple sex partners, you're cutting yourself, you're cutting other people. There's a danger, there's a cliff you're heading for, and you know, you're going to go off it unless you go and really want to change.

1:26:07 Drew Spend some time in a highly structured, residential style environment. That's usually what works for this kind of thing. Talk to your doctor about that. Keep following their direction. Capitulate to this process. Don't think that you can solve this one on your own.

1:26:18 Rob Schneider Plus, it's dangerous, dangerous. This is the most dangerous call we had tonight. I mean, I know absolutely nothing about what I'm saying about this.

1:26:24 Drew And should you ever come across Rob Schneider? Do not date him. That would really, that's that cliff we were talking about. The phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191. The great Rob Schneider in here with us. I'm Dr. Drew and Loveline will return.

1:26:36 Rob Schneider Loveline will be right back, be right back.

1:27:02 Drew Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191, Rob Schneider. Let's talk scrotal pimples. Here we go, this is Jose's 22.

1:27:10 Rob Schneider Oh, thank God. I was wondering if this was gonna come up. If they didn't bring it up, I was gonna bring it up.

1:27:14 Drew Jose, what's happening?

1:27:16 Rob Schneider What's going on there, pal?

1:27:17 Rob Schneider I have like this kind of pimples on my ball sack.

1:27:22 Rob Schneider Well, what kind are we talking about there? What are you, little one?

1:27:25 Drew This kind.

1:27:26 Rob Schneider Well, this kind?

1:27:27 Rob Schneider Different sizes, or like...

1:27:29 Rob Schneider Different sizes. Now, when you say different sizes, now, what are you talking about? Talking about the eraser size, or like one that's smaller sometimes?

1:27:39 Caller They're small.

1:27:40 Rob Schneider They're small?

1:27:41 Caller Yeah.

1:27:42 Rob Schneider Okay, now. So, like, you have them where now?

1:27:45 Rob Schneider In my ball sack.

1:27:47 Rob Schneider Oh, in my...

1:27:48 Rob Schneider Yes, yes, yes.

1:27:49 Rob Schneider Easy, easy.

1:27:49 Drew You know, the ball sack.

1:27:50 Rob Schneider The ball sack, yes. That's a technical term for where your nuts are.

1:27:54 Drew That's right. And the ball sack is a place where you can... The nards, yes, are a place where you can get to pimples.

1:27:59 Rob Schneider Sure.

1:27:59 Drew And they're really carbuncles and follicles, things like that. And they can get kind of infected. So you need to kind of take care of them. Pus does come out of them. And that's what... Let's play a little Germany or Florida before we finish up this time. This is Nathan, 17.

1:28:10 Rob Schneider You know, they got this new thing now called a loofah.

1:28:12 Drew Loofah.

1:28:13 Rob Schneider Just let it hang out.

1:28:14 Drew How about just soap and dry air?

1:28:15 Rob Schneider Yeah, just go out or just, you know, get in a squatting position for four days. They'll go away.

1:28:20 Drew That's an area that can get lots of bacteria and stuff. And so you can get a little abscess.

1:28:23 Rob Schneider Sure, especially from Jose.

1:28:24 Drew Especially around the adolescents that can happen. So, and by the way, Jose, don't assume it's pimple. Somebody may want to look at that to make sure, diagnostically, that it's not something else.

1:28:32 Rob Schneider Could be something. I bet it's something else.

1:28:33 Drew Nathan.

1:28:34 Rob Schneider Something gross. Hello, Nathan.

1:28:37 Caller Hey, what's up, Rob?

1:28:38 Rob Schneider What's up?

1:28:39 Drew Germany or Florida?

1:28:40 Rob Schneider Here we go.

1:28:40 Rob Schneider What do you got, pal?

1:28:41 Caller All right. What was a normal day for emergency operators turned out quite hectic. According to local law enforcement, a man called on a cell phone claiming to be suicidal. When police arrived, they found him in a tree about 15 feet up, dead from a bullet wound to the head, and was wearing a suit dressed like a vampire, a spokeswoman said. When law enforcement searched his house, they found a note that was written by the man that said, Satan was calling, and I answered him, may he make my passing into the netherworld a joyous one. The man was reported by neighbors to be acting strangely because of his earlier divorce, the spokeswoman said. He was 38 years of age. Germany.

1:29:17 Rob Schneider Oh, that's easy.

1:29:18 Drew Germany or Florida?

1:29:19 Rob Schneider Oh, that's definitely Florida.

1:29:20 Drew I got Germany on that.

1:29:21 Rob Schneider Oh, it's definitely Florida.

1:29:22 Drew I mean, Florida is not nearly that creative.

1:29:24 Rob Schneider Yeah, that's true. It seems almost well read, this guy.

1:29:26 Drew Yeah, Louisiana maybe, but not Florida.

1:29:29 Rob Schneider Now, I'm going to say it's Florida just because about the officers and the ambulances and stuff, because they don't have that as much of that stuff in Germany, so I'm going to go definitely Florida.

1:29:38 Drew What do you got there, Nathan?

1:29:39 Caller Oh, that's Germany. You got it right, Drew.

1:29:42 Rob Schneider Wow. Where in Germany? So I can put that on my next-

1:29:46 Drew Düsseldorf.

1:29:47 Rob Schneider Come on. Wiesbaden.

1:29:49 Rob Schneider Where?

1:29:50 Drew Does it say, Nathan?

1:29:50 Rob Schneider Where in Germany?

1:29:51 Caller Oh, where is in Germany?

1:29:53 Rob Schneider Yeah.

1:29:53 Caller It didn't say it, it just said Germany. I Googled it, though.

1:29:57 Rob Schneider All right.

1:29:57 Caller All right, Nathan.

1:29:57 Drew Thanks a lot. Thanks, pal. This morning as I was showering, I was just thinking of those lyric tones from last night when you mentioned in German.

1:30:07 Rob Schneider Yeah.

1:30:07 Drew A description of your own anatomy.

1:30:09 Rob Schneider Ich habe eine große Schwanzstücke und rot und dicker.

1:30:14 Rob Schneider Stupid?

1:30:15 Rob Schneider Ich habe, ich habe, ich habe große, große, big, Schwanzstücke. Schwanzstücke.

1:30:23 Drew Schwanzstücke.

1:30:24 Rob Schneider Schwanzstücke.

1:30:25 Drew Is this what you eat or is it like something like that?

1:30:26 Rob Schneider Schwanzstücke is your Schwanzstücke. Your Schwanz. Schwannstucker is a hard version.

1:30:32 Drew Ein großer Schwannstucker und rot.

1:30:35 Rob Schneider It's red.

1:30:37 Rob Schneider Und dicke.

1:30:38 Rob Schneider I have a big penis that's red and thick.

1:30:40 Drew Und dicke is thick.

1:30:41 Rob Schneider Und dicke is thick.

1:30:41 Drew Und Wannstucker und dicke.

1:30:42 Rob Schneider Well, if it's red, well, I mean, if it's not thick, what's the use of it?

1:30:45 Drew Where did you learn this lovely phrase?

1:30:48 Rob Schneider I think I had a substitute teacher, John Ross, when I was in high school, tell me that. Nice guy. He's a comedian here in LA.

1:30:55 Rob Schneider I have a really big dick.

1:30:58 Drew Von Stuecker. And what was he teaching you in high school?

1:31:00 Rob Schneider Well, he was a comedian friend of mine, actually. He said, hey, dude, I'm coming to your high school. And he was like, he told me that. I was in German class.

1:31:08 Drew Oh, he was in German. So he teaches you how to say, I've got a really big von Stuecker.

1:31:13 Rob Schneider Yeah, I'd never forgot it.

1:31:14 Drew And Stuecker.

1:31:15 Rob Schneider That's one of those things you laugh your ass off and you never forget.

1:31:20 Drew Wow.

1:31:20 Rob Schneider You know, it was a private school.

1:31:22 Drew Your parents weren't paying for this. No, no, no.

1:31:24 Rob Schneider Terranova High School in Pacifica.

1:31:25 Drew Outstanding. Well, listen, we got to take yet another break. Yes, it's ridiculous. I know this day. This night has been just flying.

1:31:31 Rob Schneider It just flew by.

1:31:32 Drew We'll be back yet again after this. Well, another night with Rob Schneider and his Groshevan Stuka.

1:31:46 Rob Schneider Yeah, the Grosse von Stuecker and Rotendicke will be here tomorrow, fully engorged again for another.

1:31:52 Drew I just can't wait. I can't wait. That's just such a luscious image.

1:31:56 Rob Schneider Yeah.

1:31:57 Drew Well, listen, get us back tomorrow night. And we'll have just a minimal, just a mere 22 hours. We'll be back with you. Rob Schneider will be in here again tomorrow night. And in the meantime, keep an eye out for European Gigolo. Deuce Bigolo will be out on DVD Tuesday, November 29th. And look out for Benchwarmers, which tested very well tonight.

1:32:13 Rob Schneider Yeah, excited. Well, we'll see you all tomorrow.

1:32:15 Drew We will do indeed. And until that time, I say mahalo.

1:32:20 This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005