Episode 1000736844535

0:15 Voiceover 1-800-LOVE-191 Love Line starts now.

0:21 Drew That's right, it's Loveline. I'm Dr. Drew. The guy over there breakdancing is Rob Schneider.

0:25 Adam That's right, in the house.

0:27 Voiceover 1-800-LOVE-191 is our phone number here.

0:29 Love baby, we're talking love.

0:32 Drew Dr. Drew in the Hizzee.

0:34 In the Hizzee Hizzee.

0:37 Drew For Schnizzle.

0:38 For Schnizzle.

0:40 Drew So Rob, what did you do today?

0:41 Adam Well, let me tell you, it was a busy day. I worked out with the great Joe Goosen, boxing coach.

0:46 Drew Getting ready for the movie?

0:46 Adam Getting ready for this boxing movie I'm doing. I'm excited about that. I got hung out with my buddy Boone, the big Boone man, the director. Boone Collins. Worked out. He didn't die. I'm happy.

0:56 Drew All right, let's get rid of some business here. Deuce Bigelow European Jiggle will be out on DVD Tuesday, November 29th. You know Rob from 51st Dates, Hot Chick, Deuce Bigelow Films. You're good, man.

1:06 Adam Thanks for the book. Thanks for the book, man. Cracked?

1:08 Drew Yeah, my book.

1:09 Adam You gotta sign it for me though.

1:10 Drew I will, don't worry.

1:10 Adam You gotta give me a little love in there. I gotta say, I actually know my way to get to the bathroom and the studio here. I feel like a real co-host now. I found the toilet. Nobody held my hand on the way there.

1:20 Drew Well, now that you know about it, you don't have three different ones, I believe.

1:23 Adam Yeah, but I wanted to get to the one, the farthest one. Just so I felt safe. I got a little lost on the way back, honestly, but it was great. I just need somebody to actually go with me into the bathroom to shake my penis for me.

1:34 Drew That would be Mark.

1:35 Adam Mark is whatever. Mark is, that would be good.

1:38 Drew Or I can go into the bathroom with you, but I'm not shaking your penis.

1:40 Adam You know, I will say this. When I do this show, Loveline, something you will say will haunt my dreams. Something you will come up with something and it will rock me a little bit. I'll think of it later and I'll be like, good lord. Like last night during the break, you were talking about the Gay Rock Rorschach Test at the university. Where basically they would show you pictures.

2:03 Drew Oh no, I was talking about the Functional MRI scans. I think I talked about it on the air. That I went down, I knew of some research down at Emory University. I was doing the show for Discovery Health Channel. I said, let's go down there with the cameras and check out what this guy's doing. And he's showing evocative images to men and women and looking how differently our brains respond to these things. Totally different. Women respond with arousal and little visual, no drive.

2:27 Adam What do you mean no drive?

2:29 Drew No drive. They get aroused without drive. I know it's hard even to imagine that as a male. They get aroused, no appetite for sex.

2:36 Adam Really?

2:36 Drew That's women. That's why they can dress provocative and go, I dress like this way for me.

2:41 Adam I know what you're talking about.

2:42 This looks nice.

2:44 Adam I like how you hang out.

2:46 Drew How dare you think about sex? Right? You can't say that word.

2:49 Adam I can't say it. Boobs.

2:50 Drew Yeah. Boobs hang out.

2:51 Adam Sorry.

2:51 Drew All right. They'll let that one go. What I was talking about though was that they not only show you images of men and women together, but they show nude males.

2:58 Adam Right.

3:00 Drew I experienced consciously nothing looking at those images other than a nude man. You're exposed to that. Apparently, my brain was very much like all other male brains and that the brain itself responded with a very powerful threat response.

3:13 Adam Right, right, right.

3:14 Drew Isn't that interesting?

3:14 Adam Yeah, but there was like, it wasn't just the gay guys. It was like full on stuff happening.

3:18 Drew No, it wasn't even that.

3:19 Adam Just the gay guys.

3:20 Drew Yeah, just the gay guys kind of.

3:21 Adam Because this happened to me, actually. It was a buddy of mine, Drake Sater, comedian, great comedian.

3:27 Drew I'm sure it's allowed you bringing it up.

3:28 Adam Well, no, he's passed away now. Great guy. But he was at this video store in San Francisco. Yeah. And I said, come meet me. Come meet me at the video store. My blood slave video on Polk Street. Serum just go. And I go, OK, fine, fine, fine. So I go into the place. I'm going to meet him at the place. I'm going to go play pinball. So I go into this place and on Polk Street, the video store, and I'm walking around, can't find him. I look up on the TV, was full on gay sex happening, not seen that before, since or whatever. And I just, it was like, ah, white. I got to get out.

4:01 Drew Right. You have a reaction.

4:02 Adam And then I just walked out of there. And then later I saw him on Broadway with the pinball. And he saw me, he came up, because he obviously was waiting for me. And I was playing pinball. I wouldn't even look at him. I said, man, I can't believe you're a member at that video store, man.

4:16 Rob Schneider It's crazy in there. He got full on gay sex.

4:18 Adam How can you believe it? And he said, hey buddy, there's the gay section, one store, and the store next door is the regular section. And I was in the regular section. You should have told me that, you know, man.

4:28 Drew You're all mad at him.

4:28 Adam It was like 20 years later, still a mental scar.

4:31 Drew But it is something, it's a weird thing that the heterosexual males respond to sort of this way. And it's not on a psychological basis, right? It's sort of like, oh, I'm involved, I'm involved. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

4:42 Adam They're not deciding to react violently.

4:45 Drew Yes, it's a very strange thing. And yes, we need to contain those behaviors, but what is that?

4:48 Adam Yeah, yeah, because it could go to like a violent thing.

4:51 Drew But why don't, you know, women don't, when they look at females together, don't have a violent reaction. Gay men looking at heterosexual couples don't have a violent reaction. What is it that creates that? And I'll tell you, the closest, the closest thing to it.

5:04 Rob Schneider Fear that I might like it. I might like it.

5:06 Drew Is there any other thought or experience you wouldn't want to see on that screen the same way as what you did see?

5:13 Whoa, whoa, whoa, one more time.

5:14 Drew The gay erotica you saw.

5:16 Rob Schneider Yes.

5:16 Drew Are there any other images that would evoke a similar kind of visceral response?

5:19 Adam You know what, that's interesting.

5:21 I don't know.

5:21 Adam I maybe have to do something.

5:22 Drew I will give you the one. What? Watching your parents.

5:25 Adam Yeah, yeah, you know what, that's true. I did get home like after school one day.

5:28 Drew It's the same.

5:29 Adam Ran upstairs really quickly and then my parents, they're not naked on top. They had clothing on, but I saw them putting some clothes on. I went, are you guys doing it? How old were you? I was about 14, 15.

5:39 Drew So I see you were just laughing.

5:41 Adam Yeah, it was really embarrassing for them, but it still took me a while because you never think your parents is doing it, especially like, you know.

5:46 I saw you shuddered.

5:49 Drew But you didn't see anything. No, I'm blocking something.

5:52 Adam No, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Rob, you sure is? Maybe, maybe there was my dad's genitals. Oh, no, no, I don't think so. I would remember that. Yes, no, no, they were just putting their clothes back on. I don't think my dad ever. I think it was my dad wasn't the guy to get on on top and do the crazy stuff. I think that was mostly my mom. Did I just say that on the radio?

6:17 Drew Well, she's still living in San Francisco.

6:18 Adam She's observant.

6:19 Drew Oh, she's listening. She's in bed. It's good. She's listening.

6:21 Robert, what did you say last night? Why were you talking about us? It's our private life. Why do you have to say that? You know, it's a radio show. You should promote your movie, your DVD, whatever the crap you got coming selling, and just shut up about your private life. You don't need to talk about your mother.

6:36 Drew I didn't know your mom was Filipino-Irish.

6:38 Adam Yeah, she is.

6:39 She's got a lot of Filipino-Irish. Robert, what do you have to talk about your Filipino-Irish mother-in-law?

6:45 Drew Okay, let's take some calls. This is 1-800-LOVE-191. That guy's Rob Shiner. I'm Dr. Drew. Here we go. It's Enzo, who's 29.

6:53 Hi.

6:54 Drew Here we are.

6:55 Dr. Drew, Rob.

6:56 Hey, buddy.

6:57 Excited to get on. Hey, Rob, I love 50 for dates.

7:01 Thank you.

7:01 Adam The great Adam Sandler. He's listening with his beautiful wife, Jackie, right now.

7:04 Drew No kidding. Where do they live? They live in, not in the way we live.

7:06 Adam Yeah, they live out closer to the beach where all the rich, gigantic movie stars live.

7:12 Today, Junior.

7:14 Drew What's up, Enzo? What do you got?

7:16 I had a question for you, Dr. Drew. After I have a particularly strong orgasm, I go deaf in one ear for about 15 minutes after.

7:24 Drew Fabulous.

7:25 Caller Yeah.

7:27 Adam Well, I'll tell you.

7:28 Drew I set you up for this one, Rob.

7:29 Adam I'll tell your gay boyfriend to keep his wiener out of there. Okay, come on.

7:33 Hey, who's with me?

7:34 Adam I've got jokes, people. I know Adam Corolla, but I got jokes.

7:38 Drew Is there anything else?

7:39 Adam Is it straight sex you're having or is it, right?

7:42 Caller Yeah, it's usually just when it's a particularly good session.

7:45 Drew Numbness or tingling anywhere?

7:47 Caller Uh, probably a little bit.

7:50 Drew Any visual disturbances?

7:51 Caller No.

7:52 Adam Let me ask you this. While you're doing it, is she thwacking you on both sides of your head with her fists?

7:57 Caller No. No. Okay, all right.

7:59 That's all I got.

8:00 Drew Is there a ringing in the ear at the same time?

8:03 Caller No, it actually just goes completely deaf.

8:07 Adam Are you watching like a Bad Married with Children episode while you're having sex?

8:13 Caller No.

8:14 Drew And you don't take any substances or anything like that around the time you're doing this?

8:19 Caller Well, I'm on Provigil and Synthroid.

8:22 Drew Oh, the Synthroid would have preferred Provigil.

8:24 Adam That might actually do something.

8:25 Drew Yeah, Provigil is kind of a stimulant of a sort. It's a very unique chemical.

8:28 Adam It is a kind of a speed thing.

8:31 Drew How do you know about Provigil?

8:32 Adam Well, I just, I know, I read, I read books, medicine books. No, but it actually could possibly act as like as something that would affect that area. Sure, absolutely.

8:43 Drew Here's my two concerns. Provigil can cause your blood pressure to escalate. And you wonder if it's somehow some kind of weird reaction, elevated blood pressure or to some sort of vascular spasm that is equivalent to a migraine, basically. It's causing some neurological knockout there in the periphery near.

8:57 Adam You could also like literally have a stroke.

8:59 Drew You could, that's what concerns me. So you really want to talk to your doctor that's prescribing the provisional, okay?

9:04 Adam Yeah, and you know what? That's not a drug you want to be on for long periods of time.

9:09 Drew I'm kind of of your, I wonder if he has like a narcolepsy or something. Do you have narcolepsy?

9:15 Caller No.

9:15 Adam Is there a bipolar?

9:17 Caller What's that? What do you take it for? Well, it's kind of related to, because they removed my thyroid and it never really seemed to work properly. I've never really felt like I used to, so it's kind of prescribed when I just can't make it through the day.

9:30 Drew I see, so you use it occasionally.

9:32 Caller Yeah, it's pretty rare. It's not a daily basis, but I have in the past had, they called it reactive hypertension and also I've had migraines, so.

9:41 Drew Well, so it would more fit in the migraine category. I'm just concerned the provigil might be making it worse.

9:45 Adam Yeah, I'm just saying if you don't have to take a strong, if you don't take drugs, don't do it, you know, or temporary.

9:51 Drew I totally agree. Brenda, 24.

9:53 Caller Hi.

9:56 Drew Hey.

9:56 Adam I wish I went deaf when I was having sex.

9:59 Caller Quite about that.

10:01 Yeah.

10:02 Caller Okay, about five years ago or so, I got pregnant, had a normal pregnancy.

10:07 Five years ago or so, I was watching The Big Lebowski. No, I wasn't.

10:13 Adam I was out there in Madison, Wisconsin, and I was out there, and I used about five years ago or so. I'm sorry, I just, that's a wonderful, lovely accent you have. You're from Wisconsin?

10:22 Caller Yes.

10:23 Adam God love you.

10:23 Drew How did you guess?

10:25 Adam Slashed on the screen. So what's going on with you five years ago?

10:28 Caller Okay, so after I had my son, I went on the Lunel shot.

10:33 Drew Lunel, oh, the double, the progesterone shot, got it?

10:37 Adam Right, right.

10:37 Caller Yeah, the birth control that you shot monthly or whatever.

10:39 Drew Yep, cool.

10:40 Adam Right, why not take a ton of steroids? I mean, a ton of hormones at one time. Who wants that daily stuff when I can take it once? They have the stuff now, it's not a year. You can take it, it's a year. It lasts for a whole year now. That's got to be good for you.

10:52 Caller Yeah, right.

10:53 Drew So, and your question?

10:56 Caller After I went off of the LUNEL, I had what they call the blighted ovum, which they said it was no big deal, whatever. But then about a year ago, so I went back on birth control, I went on the patch, and I just went off of that about three and a half months ago.

11:14 Drew By the way, let me... She's got a story, it's going to pay off. But let me just take a second about the patch thing. Maybe you've all heard in the news today, the patch has caused strokes and thrombosis in the legs, all this crap. Yeah, there might be a slightly increased risk, instead of one out of 100,000, maybe it's two out of 100,000. If you're worried about that...

11:34 Adam But they have other, I mean most normal people are not going to have a stroke from taking the patch.

11:39 Drew Well, the patch is a higher dose of estrogen, it is something to pay attention to, but it's not nearly the risk of a pregnancy, number one. And number two, maybe take an aspirin every day to kind of diminish that risk if you're concerned.

11:48 Adam Or how about this, make the guy wear a condom, I mean here's the choice. Hey, why don't I make him slightly take a two second pause and put a piece of saran wrap like material over his willy, or why don't I take a massive amount of hormones for the rest of my life causing my cervix to have weird lesions on the cock?

12:10 Drew I swear to God, the reason guys don't put the time to put that condom on, they behave like some sort of like cat prey, some animal that's just landed on a prey, got its paw down on it, they want to lift the paw up, they think they might jump up and scamper away.

12:23 Adam You're not going to get away, you are not going to diminish the sensation by one ten thousandth of a millimeter. I don't care if it's as thin as a human hair, I'm not wearing anything, you're going to take massive amounts of hormones and that's it.

12:35 Drew So Brandon, what's the deal?

12:36 Caller He got snipped by the way. But anyway.

12:39 Adam Good, he got snipped.

12:40 Well then, you know, I...

12:42 Drew What's your question? What happened?

12:43 Caller Well, after I went off of that, I had another blade of ovum.

12:47 Drew Yeah, yeah.

12:48 Caller And the doctor says like it's a freak thing, but it's like both times I've gone off of it. I've had this and I'm just wondering, they can't give me a reason. I was just wondering if it's like genetic, if you have any idea.

12:59 Drew On the board here, it says about phantom pregnancies. Did you have that too?

13:02 Caller Well, that's, they said it was the same thing.

13:05 Drew Phantom pregnancy means you believe you're pregnant, even when everybody tells you you're not.

13:08 Adam Yeah, in other words, the board said this is a much more interesting call than what's happening right now. Blighted Ovum, though, that sounds like a good name for a band. Blighted Ovum, I think they're opening up for Nine Inch Nails this weekend in San Diego.

13:19 Drew Makes sense it had something to do with the drop in hormones, why it should happen so suddenly.

13:22 Adam The other day, I went to the store after I bought my pills and I also cut some bread. And on the bread, there was a little piece of plastic and I wondered if I could still have that on my sandwich. Boring.

13:33 Drew Crystal 28, bring us back.

13:35 Adam What's going on, Crystal?

13:37 Hi, how are you?

13:39 Drew We're good, you're on with Rob Schneider.

13:40 Adam What's up? What's up, baby? What's up? What's going on?

13:41 What was that? What was that? I'm sorry, what?

13:44 Adam No, I'm just talking, baby.

13:44 What's up? What's up? What's up?

13:46 Okay, so, long story short, okay, well, I have to tell the whole story because, quite frankly, you'll understand it better. Yeah? I'm a mentally disabled teacher, right?

13:58 Adam You are not.

14:00 Yes, I am.

14:02 Drew Wait a minute. You teach the mentally disabled?

14:05 Adam No, she is mentally disabled. She's trying to say. Phony.

14:07 I'm so funny.

14:10 No, anyways, what I was saying was, I have one of my kids, one of my students, got accepted on this Make-A-Wish Foundation thing, right?

14:19 Yes.

14:20 So, I've seen that I'm the teacher, I had to go with the kid and make sure, you know, everything was smoothly and everything was saying that they were saying it was gonna happen.

14:29 Adam All right, all right, all right, that's enough. Let's cut this one.

14:33 Drew No, Chris, get right to it. Go, go.

14:34 Adam If you got a phony call, a real call, get...

14:37 Drew Go directly to the question.

14:38 Adam Come on, Pete. It's a two-hour show, not a ten-hour show. Let's go.

14:42 Drew What is the actual...

14:43 Adam My friends are listening, Crystal.

14:45 Drew What's the question?

14:47 The question is, I hooked up with one of the actors. I was a virgin on 28. I was a virgin until I hooked up with him, because I was in love with him, right?

14:56 Drew What's the question?

14:58 My question is, I think I got a disease from him.

15:00 Drew I'm picking at a sore. Yeah, and what are the symptoms?

15:04 I'm a little itchy.

15:06 Adam All right. Pony.

15:08 Drew That's it?

15:09 Well, I went to the clinic, and they said that the test results are gonna be back in like a week, and I can't get a hold of this guy. He will not answer his phone. So I don't know where it's... He's a creep. Anyways, I'm just trying to see what you guys might think what it is.

15:23 Adam I think... What do I think it is? Why don't you take a photo of it with your phone and text it over here.

15:35 Drew Little itchy could be anything from just yeast to herpes.

15:38 Adam That was such a phony phone call.

15:40 Drew I don't think so. I don't know if it's real. Non-conococcal cirrhiditis, chlamydia. Could be a lot of things that you won't know. We cannot speculate until you get those damn tests back.

15:47 Adam That's good that you didn't wear a condom with that guy, though.

15:49 Drew Well done, though. Well done. First time out, too. It's good.

15:51 Adam Way to go. Way to go. First time in a win. One for one.

15:54 Drew Casey 22.

15:55 Adam Crystal's one for one with unprotected sex. Way to go, Crystal.

15:59 Drew Casey.

16:01 Caller In the Hizzy.

16:02 Drew There we are.

16:03 Adam In the Hizzy.

16:04 Caller Here I am.

16:05 Adam Yeah, okay. All right. Sucking up valuable, expensive airtime. What do you got, pal?

16:08 Drew Here I am. Why don't you get no play, playa?

16:12 Caller I have one for Mr. Rob Schneider, actually.

16:15 Who do you got there, young man?

16:17 Adam Who do you got for me?

16:19 Caller For you today, I have a question. A lot of the movies that you've made, you've made quite a few, but what is your least favorite one? What one would you say you just wish you never were part of?

16:28 Adam Oh, golly, that's a long list, pal. I don't know. I mean, the Beverly Hillbillies. That was a piece of crap that I made. I didn't know. I didn't know you could say no back then. And I just like, really, you're going to hire me for what? You mean I don't have to?

16:43 Drew Probably the reality is the reality probably is you couldn't say no back then, that having done all that stuff is what put you in the position.

16:48 Adam Yeah, I was just happy that anybody wanted to hire me. Also, I consider, you know, Surf Ninjas my porno without the sex. My gay porn without the sex.

16:54 Surf Ninjas is awesome.

16:56 Adam Wow, I actually don't.

16:57 I love it.

16:58 Adam Wow, you're very kind.

16:59 Oh, thank you.

17:00 Drew Casey, what are you doing right now? Do you go to school?

17:03 Adam Modesto?

17:03 Caller You from Modesto?

17:04 Drew You go to school. Where are you from?

17:06 Caller Oh, me? I go to Cardinal Spritch University.

17:09 Adam Oh, of course. Well, good for you, man. Well, it's very nice of you, man. I appreciate you bringing up some painful members for me.

17:16 Drew Oh, pot too.

17:18 All right, man.

17:20 Drew Bobby Joe, 18.

17:21 What's up, Bobby Joe? Nothing much.

17:24 Drew Oh, female. What's up?

17:25 Oh, yeah, Bobby Joe.

17:30 What do you got for us, Bobby?

17:32 Drew Hang on. You're making it weird for this question.

17:34 Adam Okay, Bobby. What's going on?

17:36 Okay. So I really, really like having sex.

17:40 Adam Hang on. Let me take off my pants. Hey, can you just say, Bobby Joe, just give me a second here. Zip. Go ahead. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. So, Bobby Joe, you like having sex?

17:49 Yeah.

17:49 Adam Golly. The show's ratings just got better. Well, that's nice to hear.

17:54 And my boyfriend is kind of freaks him out that I like doing it so much.

18:00 Adam How old is he?

18:00 How old are you?

18:02 I'm 18.

18:03 Adam How old is he? Well, he's still basically a young guy. Can I just have a talk? We can push that blue button right there.

18:09 Drew Okay, we're going to put you on the hole and talk about you like you can't hear us, all right? Bobby Joe, hang on a sec. We'll come back to you in a sec.

18:14 Adam Just hang on, but we're going to talk. Now, here's the deal with that. I know where this has come from. Now, she...

18:19 Drew There's a lot of possible deals here.

18:20 Adam Yeah, but I'm thinking this.

18:21 She likes sex.

18:23 Adam She's into sex.

18:24 Drew Did she say how often she does it?

18:26 Adam No, she doesn't. Let's find out.

18:27 Drew How often do you have...

18:28 Uh-oh.

18:30 Drew How often do you have a sex with your boyfriend?

18:31 I'm sorry.

18:33 When I'm with him, I want to do it like three, five times.

18:37 Okay, okay.

18:38 Drew A day or like in a row?

18:41 However, as much as...

18:42 Drew However you can get it.

18:44 Okay.

18:44 Drew And how often are you with him? How many days a week are you with him?

18:48 Three.

18:49 Adam Oh, wow. That's like 15.

18:50 Drew What do you do for... You go to school?

18:51 What do you do for a living?

18:54 I'm not going to school right now.

18:56 Adam Well, how could you?

18:57 Drew She has no time for it.

18:58 Adam Okay. She has no time. Let's put her back on the blue button there. Okay.

19:01 Drew By the way, you can share the blue button again tonight.

19:03 Adam I love it. It's power. I can actually touch the blue button, which gives us a chance to talk. Here's the deal with that. Now, he's 20, all right? And he's with this hot 18-year-old, you know, and he's having sex with her, and it's the greatest thing. And he's thinking...

19:16 Drew Don't let this get too cathartic for you, Ron. Be careful.

19:19 Adam So he's having sex, and he's saying instead of just enjoying it, instead of saying, this is the greatest thing, she's hot, she wants to have sex with me.

19:25 Drew He's overthinking it. What's the matter with that?

19:27 He's thinking she's had sex before with some other guys.

19:29 Drew You see, that seems... She's a whore! She's having sex before! That theme comes up by every third call for you. I'm just saying.

19:36 Adam No, but I'm saying, though, but a guy, instead of just enjoying it, instead of saying, this is the greatest thing that ever happened to me, instead of saying, how can I be the luckiest guy? Instead, he has to ruin it by saying, she's done it before with somebody else.

19:46 Drew How about it's not so much to have done it before?

19:48 She likes it more with him, I bet.

19:49 Drew But like, where's all this energy coming from? And then you can't keep up, it's like you feel kind of weird and you withdraw. You know what I mean?

19:55 Adam Well, then it's not about me. Well, everything is. No, but also, well, I think a guy at a certain point, at that young guy, is going to get threatened by that. Instead of saying, you know what? So there's a certain thing like, if she's done this, she's so sexual, and then I can't please her, and she's done this before, blah, blah, blah, and he's freaked out by her past, or I can't keep up that she's going to leave me some other guy, I can't please her, I'm not enough for her. What is it, Bobby Joe?

20:19 What is it?

20:21 Drew You freak me, we're male, but you keep saying, I can't please her, I can't shoot her.

20:25 Adam I'm just speaking for the guy. You know what I mean?

20:29 Drew Bobby Joe, here's the deal.

20:30 Adam I've heard the show a lot, that's what Adam Corolla does.

20:31 Drew But here's where some of this stuff comes from, more often than not, which is, if you really, are you bipolar?

20:39 Caller What? No, I don't think so.

20:42 Drew No one's ever diagnosed as bipolar.

20:43 Adam I'm going to think about this later.

20:44 Drew Were you sexually abused as a child?

20:47 Caller Yes.

20:48 Drew And so sexual abuse tends to create all this.

20:51 Adam Now my boner that I have, I feel guilty. This is terrible.

20:53 Drew It's not about you. It's not that she's going to go out straight, other guys.

20:56 Adam She's trying to, okay, this is a different thing.

20:58 Drew Yeah. Sexual abuse causes sexual addictions and sexual compulsion.

21:01 Adam Right. She's trying to get her power back.

21:04 Drew That's why people try to make sense of it. I think it's something more profound than that even. And the reality is most women like-

21:11 Adam What is the purpose for redoing this re-

21:13 Drew Re-enacting the trauma. Re-enacting this behavior. Nobody knows why. It's something to do with our wiring.

21:17 Caller Right.

21:18 Drew That humans re-enact trauma over and over again and can never seem to sort of get enough of it. And the sources of powerlessness and trauma in childhood have become the source of attraction and drama and interest and intrigue in your adult life.

21:29 Caller Right.

21:29 Drew And so here she is acting this out over and over and over again. It's never quite enough. She's never quite satisfied. And it can be a problem. Are you addicted to anything else besides sex?

21:38 Caller Um, no.

21:40 Drew You never been chemically addicted to anything?

21:42 Caller No.

21:42 Drew Is that in your family?

21:43 Adam Do you have antidepressants or anything?

21:45 Caller What?

21:46 Adam Have you ever been on antidepressants?

21:48 Caller No.

21:48 Adam Would you like to try some of mine? There's a little bit.

21:52 I'll chop it up for you.

21:53 Drew In your family, has there ever been any alcohols or addictions?

21:56 Caller Um, not the family members I'm related to.

22:01 Drew What happened to sexual abuse? Tell us what happened there.

22:03 Caller Um, when I was younger, my cousin sexually abused me.

22:09 Adam How young? How young were you?

22:11 Caller I was five when it started.

22:15 Adam How long did it last? How long did it go on?

22:17 Caller Four years.

22:19 Adam Oh, so that's an extended amount of time.

22:21 Drew That's pretty heavy. And so your boyfriend, when you come at him with that energy, he sees it as not really an expression of intimacy, but an energy that you're trying to act out, and he feels kind of freaked out, and he pulls back, and he can't quite...

22:34 Adam He's 20, isn't he? Did you go to therapy for this? Yeah, he's an idiot. He's 20.

22:38 Caller Yeah, I've been to therapy for this.

22:39 Adam So you have been to therapy for this, and did you have a decent relationship with your mom and dad? Okay.

22:47 Drew How did the therapy end up? How long did you go? What was the conclusion of that therapy?

22:50 Caller I go every once in a while still. I'm okay.

22:56 Drew All right. The fact that you have all this energy doesn't condemn your relationship, doesn't mean you're a bad person, but it is going to be something you're going to have to contend with. It might be time to go back to therapy. Because this is a powerful drive and it is a compulsion or an addiction in some cases, things like 12-step off are going to be very, very helpful. Yeah.

23:15 Adam Because the thing is you don't want to be a slave to this thing.

23:17 Drew Exactly.

23:18 Adam You don't want it to overpower you and it becomes something that it's never going to be enough. Because where you're going to go from 18, it's going to get worse and worse. So, potentially, yeah, we'll go back to therapy. And how long have you been with this guy?

23:30 Caller For half a year, almost.

23:32 Adam All right. What does it sound like? Is it that serious a relationship? Half a year and he's complaining? You're having sex too much?

23:37 What an idiot. I just want to call it.

23:39 Drew Just to add it up, it's 15, 18 times a week for half a year. This guy's like, he's turning inside out. It's like his soul comes out of his penis now instead of a semen.

23:46 Rob Schneider Baby, I'm dry.

23:48 Drew So, all right, Bobby Joe. So, what do you think? Any other questions? They seem like okay direction to you? Get back, talk about it.

23:55 Adam Yeah, or if you really, really like this guy and see a future, why don't you go to a therapist with him?

23:58 Drew Or is this guy kind of drama and all that stuff too?

24:01 Adam He's probably got some issues too if he's complaining about having too much sex with a girl.

24:04 Drew Is he a bad guy?

24:05 Caller No, he's a sweetheart.

24:07 Caller He's a good guy.

24:08 Caller Yeah.

24:09 Adam He's nice.

24:10 Drew Again, that's a sign that you've made some progress in your therapy. You're able to have stable relationships.

24:13 Adam Sounds like a quality problem to me.

24:15 Drew I'm going to put that in the quality problem bank to me. Maybe you can figure out how to make this drive arousal mismatch match up.

24:22 Adam I'm going to put that like finding an extra hundred in my back pocket jeans that I haven't worn since high school.

24:29 Drew That constipated gentleman is Rob Schneider. The phone number here is 1-800-LOVE-191.

24:34 You can do it.

24:34 Adam Call in a few minutes.

24:36 Drew We'll be right back.

24:37 Loveline.

24:37 Adam How do you want me to say it?

24:38 Caller Loveline will be right back.

24:40 Loveline will be right back.

24:43 Drew Call us at 1-800-LOVE-191 in studio Rob Schneider and his extended family.

24:48 Adam Yes.

24:48 Drew Who showed up on the other side of the two-way mirror.

24:51 Adam My brother John here and my niece is Alex Ashley in Asia. They're all teens and one's 20 and I don't want to know what they do actually, but they listen to Loveline.

25:00 Drew Are you embarrassed talking about this material in front of them?

25:02 Adam Not at all. They've seen all my movies, the good and bad ones. So they're saying it.

25:06 Drew You're right. Nothing else. Okay. Anyway, sorry. Robbie is 24.

25:10 I just like to look at other men's penises because I'm curious.

25:13 Adam I like to compare mine to theirs.

25:17 Drew That's Rob. Ladies, that's your uncle. It's nice.

25:20 Adam That was about the-

25:22 Drew Yeah, you're sure?

25:22 Caller Yeah, whatever.

25:23 Drew Robbie, what's going on?

25:24 Caller Next thing you know, you're going to say I'm gay.

25:29 Adam What do you got, Robbie?

25:30 Caller Hey, how's it going?

25:31 Adam I'm good, man. What's going on, man?

25:33 Caller Not much, not much. I have kind of an issue with effecting my sexual relationship with my girlfriend. My penis actually leaks semen right when I get aroused.

25:46 Adam Give me a second.

25:46 Rob Schneider Oh, God!

25:50 Adam No, wow.

25:51 Drew Okay, good times.

25:53 Caller It's not like a full ejaculation, because it actually takes me a while to get to that point.

25:59 Adam Why wouldn't it? You're a guys guy.

26:01 Rob Schneider You're not going to go off right away.

26:04 Adam You're a man's man.

26:05 Drew You've got a leaky gasket.

26:06 Caller No, no, not in the back of my mind, but yeah, I mean, the thing is...

26:10 Adam Well, what are we talking leaking? What are we talking here? Is it like an outrageous amount? Does she have to like leave the room and take a shower? I mean, what are we doing here?

26:20 Caller No, no, it's nowhere near that. It's just like a little bit, but it happens like constantly. And you know, when she's giving me oil, she doesn't prefer the taste of it.

26:30 Drew I knew we were going here.

26:31 Adam Yeah, okay, right.

26:32 Drew So she doesn't want to do that to you, and so what are you going to do?

26:34 Adam Well, you tell her to just... What is she complaining about? She should be very happy she's tasting your man juices. What kind of woman is she?

26:41 Rob Schneider As long as she's...

26:42 Adam You tell her, damn it, she should be...

26:45 Rob Schneider Thank the Lord that made her! She's a...

26:49 Adam I don't know. Well, you know, it's not a real problem. It happens, it happens, you're a young guy.

26:55 Drew I'll tell you where it's a real problem on two fronts. One is she won't do oral sex on him anymore, and for him that's a problem. And number two, if you're having sex without a condom, you're going to get pregnant with that leaf.

27:08 Adam Why don't you wear a condom?

27:09 Caller No, I actually do every time.

27:11 Adam You actually do once in a while.

27:12 Drew How about during oral sex?

27:13 Adam Every other time, I order a condom.

27:14 Drew What do you think, Rob? Oral during condom during oral sex?

27:18 Adam That's a little tough to get the people, the guys to want to do that.

27:21 Caller It is tough. Yeah, I'm not a really big fan of that. I'm just wondering if there's like, is there any...

27:24 Adam You can get her to wear one of those dental dams. Just next time she goes to the dentist to get her teeth worked on, say, don't throw that away, I can use that. Give me that. Give me extra one in the bag. No, well, you know what? I don't know. I mean, maybe... Isn't this diet affecting what's happening there?

27:44 Drew No, but you can put a pipe cleaner down there and I think it'll be all set.

27:47 Adam Yeah. Well, or...

27:49 Drew I'm kidding. I'm kidding. There's nothing really you can do about this.

27:52 Adam Why don't you do like, you know...

27:54 Drew Maybe she can stay away from the tip. I mean, you guys can work something out. Do you know what I mean?

27:58 Rob Schneider What's wrong with...

27:59 Adam When people... When I was a kid, people were just happy with hand relief. What's all this stuff with mouths and...

28:07 Rob Schneider My good Lord!

28:08 Adam We waited till we went out for weeks before we had oral.

28:12 Drew All right, Farmer John, here we go. We're going to switch gears here. We're going to do a game. We're going to play a game called Germany or Florida. OK. Remember how we played this game?

28:19 Adam Yes. That's one of my favorites.

28:20 Drew Yeah.

28:21 Adam So you guys never had a song, though, right?

28:23 Drew We have one.

28:24 Adam Do you have one?

28:25 Drew Let's hear one. Here's one.

28:26 Caller Germany or Florida!

28:28 Rob Schneider It's Germany or Florida!

28:30 Adam Now, the idea of this is something so weird and so strange. It's either Germany or Florida, because those are where the weirdest people live.

28:37 Drew That's where the weird stuff happens. So here we go. This is Mike. What's the story, Mike?

28:42 Caller All right.

28:43 Caller A man, desperate for a drink, an alcoholic anyway, decides to mix gasoline and milk, ends up getting sick, throwing up in a fire, and setting himself and his house on fire.

28:57 Caller Germany or Florida.

28:58 Adam Wow, that's a tough one.

29:00 Drew It sounds a little bogus.

29:03 Rob Schneider You know it.

29:05 Drew And people will do, will take hydrocarbons in in a suicide attempt sort of thing. Yeah, no one- And then vomit, if they vomit on a fire, they would catch a fire.

29:13 Rob Schneider It's a tough one.

29:14 Adam It's one of those ones you'd read about in World or The Globe, because those are phony.

29:19 Drew But I'm going Florida.

29:20 Adam Booze is so cheap.

29:21 Drew I'm going Florida.

29:22 Adam That you can get it.

29:23 Drew It was a suicide attempt.

29:24 Adam I'm gonna go Germany.

29:27 Caller You're right, Rob, Germany.

29:29 Caller Yeah.

29:30 Drew All right. I've been showing that.

29:31 Caller I have a big swanstuck and red and thick.

29:35 Adam That means I have a big penis that's red and thick. That's the only thing I know how to say in German.

29:38 Drew Say it again.

29:39 Caller I have a big swanstuck and red and thick.

29:43 Drew It's like an excerpt from Young Frankenstein or something. Kayla, 17.

29:49 Adam Yeah.

29:49 Kayla.

29:50 Drew What's up, Kayla?

29:51 Hi. Hi, Kayla.

29:53 Drew Say that again.

29:55 Caller I have a big swanstuck and red and thick.

30:01 Adam I have a big penis that's red and thick.

30:03 Drew All right, Kayla. Here we go.

30:04 Caller Kayla, what's up?

30:06 Caller I have a really big dick.

30:08 Drew Kayla, here we go. The show is degenerating. Here we go. 17.

30:13 About a month ago, I had pelvic inflammatory disease, like a really bad case of it.

30:20 Caller I was in the hospital for like nine days, and I was going so good up till now.

30:24 Drew I'm so sorry. Did you develop something called a tubo ovarian abscess?

30:29 I think so, because I had to have a-

30:31 Adam That is such a show-off thing to do right there, Doc.

30:33 It was really bad. I was in the hospital for nine days, and I had to have surgery and everything.

30:37 Drew Right. That's usually for the TOA. They get these abscesses off the tongue.

30:40 Caller Horrible.

30:41 Drew All right, all right.

30:42 Adam You have to explain to our listeners what's going on here. Basically, I'm going to pretend like I know what happened.

30:45 Drew This is a sexually transmitted disease. It's basically STD in the tubes, and when it's in the tubes, it's called pelvic and flammatory disease. When it forms into an abscess, then it's called tubo-ovarian abscess. It forms this giant pus pocket that it runs through the tube and gets over the ovary, the tubo-ovarian abscess.

31:09 So I had three of them.

31:12 Caller You had what?

31:13 Three of them.

31:14 Drew Three TOAs?

31:15 Yeah, there were like three giant.

31:19 Adam But it's curable, right?

31:20 There was one huge one that they had to put a drain in for.

31:24 Drew Oh, my goodness.

31:25 Adam What kind of thing do they have to get to be curable?

31:27 Drew But they can really affect fertility.

31:30 Adam So what did the doctor say about possible fertility?

31:32 They have to remove part of my ovaries, but they didn't know.

31:37 Adam Hey, Kayla, and the doctors, are you done with it? Or do you still have more stuff that may be happening?

31:44 Drew No, it should be done.

31:45 Adam Yeah, I'm done now. Hey, listen, Kayla, they got this new thing now.

31:48 Drew Condom.

31:49 Adam Yeah, it's a new thing they put it where the guy wears something over his penis. When he's inside you, you're 17, you shouldn't be having these problems.

31:56 Caller I use a condom every time I have sex, and that's what really freaked me out about it.

32:00 Caller Oh, wow.

32:01 Adam It's not possible.

32:02 Drew That is possible. Sometimes during your period, actually sort of bowel bacteria can get in there.

32:09 Adam Okay.

32:10 Drew You can get a vaginitis, it can get up higher, and there is such a thing.

32:14 Caller Yeah, that's what really, really scared me the most because I was like, well, I'm not safe anywhere.

32:18 Adam That is not likely.

32:19 Drew So it really wasn't an STD per se in your case, necessarily.

32:23 Caller My doctors were like, oh, it's most likely an STD, then they were like, wanted me to get HIV tested and everything.

32:28 Adam Yeah, you should. You should. Yeah, absolutely. Why not?

32:30 Caller Well, yeah, I'm going to. I'm going next week. My doctor just gave me a slip for it to go to... Okay. I have like, my infectious diseases, doctor.

32:39 Drew Oh, excellent.

32:40 Caller Yeah. But what my question was is, well, actually I have two.

32:44 Adam Yes, please. We have nothing but time.

32:47 Caller Am I more susceptible to get it again now?

32:50 Drew I would imagine, well, now I would imagine you would be just not so much that you would be more susceptible now, but the fact that this happened to you in the first place makes you more susceptible than average. Just that it could happen.

33:01 Caller Yes. Like way up in my family, a few people have died from like, stomach infection.

33:06 Drew Isn't that interesting?

33:07 Caller Could be this.

33:08 Adam Well, there could be some susceptibility. That's why I, from now on, make your boyfriends wear two.

33:12 Drew But even then, you have to really work.

33:14 Adam You know what, though? I think someone like this, is you gotta, if you're susceptible to bacterial things, you gotta take a really, really, really, really good care of yourself.

33:22 Drew Yeah.

33:22 Adam As much as you can. Boost your immune system as great as you can. That's what I do.

33:26 Drew And you may, some people, this isn't really a typical thing, but there can be deficiencies in certain of your immune functions, like complement deficiencies.

33:35 Adam Can I just make a suggestion? I'm not a doctor. But you know this thing called MSM? You ever heard of it? It's like an organic sulfur and it helps boost your immune system. It helps for cell development and it's really good. I take it every day and so do women, I know. Take it. MSM. Just go to the health center and buy it. Take it when you're, take 3,000 milligrams a day. Just do it. And if it doesn't work out, sue Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew lives in Pasadena. He's right off the 110. You make a right on Elwood and you go, but no, but seriously, MSM. Go down and get that. It'll boost your immune system. It also helps with cell development, helps boost your, and that's what you should absolutely have that.

34:11 Drew If you have deficiencies.

34:12 Caller Yeah, this is my immune system shot.

34:14 Drew But if you have.

34:14 Adam Yeah, your immune system shot. I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you.

34:17 Drew If you have deficiencies against encapsulated organisms or specific defects in your complement's fixation system, that is something that needs very rigorous and specific therapies. Yeah, but you have to have a white set up that's at the hospital. That is a genetic disorder in that case.

34:32 Adam Okay, but whatever. I agree with the doc.

34:33 Rob Schneider And so he went to school, he's all, he's educated, he gives prescriptions out to people, he knows what he's talking about, he's not an idiot actor, he's professional.

34:46 Adam Okay, he still is practicing medicine. But let me tell you, from someone who's an actor, who does not have a degree, let me tell you, it's just to boost your immune system anyway. It couldn't hurt you to take 8,000 milligrams of vitamin C. Perk is a great vitamin, P-E-R-Q-U-E, Perk vitamin C. Take it, I do, and I'm perfectly normal.

35:07 Drew But here's the deal, Kaylee.

35:08 Adam And take MSM, it couldn't hurt.

35:10 Drew Rob is distracting me a little bit. I'm saying weird things, but it's the complement system, not complement fixation system I'm talking about. And you're gonna have to work with a gynecologist and an infectious disease consultant to figure out how you can continue to have sexual relationships without causing more of these episodes. And it really requires very systematic evaluation.

35:30 Adam You know, doctor, you didn't let me get to that point. I was going right there.

35:32 Drew I know you were.

35:33 Adam You just interrupted me. I was gonna go, you gotta get the two kind of doctors together.

35:38 Drew Here's a much better call for you. And they can work together.

35:42 Caller I was going there.

35:43 Drew It's for you Rob, this call's for you. Antonia.

35:45 Caller Hi Rob, hi, how are you doing?

35:47 Caller Hi, how are you? Everything's good.

35:48 Caller I'm great. I realized that with this question, I'm treading on water here.

35:53 Adam Okay, all right.

35:54 Drew Thin ice, I think is what you're looking for.

35:56 Caller Thin ice, and I asked because I grew up around a lot of gay men and this is what I talked about, but I was a little bit sedated to say that.

36:03 Adam Wow, okay, the area.

36:06 Caller So when during oral sex should the prostate be stimulated?

36:12 Adam Thank God, we finally have a normal question. Thank God someone who has normal sex can call up and talk about something that people really care about. It may take almost an hour, Dr. Drew, but finally someone wants to talk about what's really important.

36:28 Drew A finger in the took on.

36:29 Adam When someone's having oral sex, when is the proper time to insert said pinky in said anus? Well I'll tell you when.

36:40 Never!

36:41 Caller I mean, I talk to a lot of people every day, I'm a sex educator, I use your book, Dr. Drew, it's great, I just use it every day.

36:49 Caller I don't!

36:49 This is a touchy subject!

36:51 Caller Alright, alright, alright, let me answer it!

36:53 Adam Don't use the thumb.

36:55 Caller Okay.

36:56 Drew That's it?

36:57 Adam Don't use the thumb, ever. That's just one part of my thing, I mean, I mean.

37:00 Drew Alright.

37:01 Adam Okay. Alright.

37:02 Drew I'm taking notes.

37:02 Adam Now, usually, it's something you're gonna have to work out with the guy.

37:09 Drew Now, hold on here. How many guys you think would want her even to get near that area?

37:14 Adam The guys who aren't uptight, like obviously you are, Dr. Drew. I mean, guys who shower right before sex.

37:21 Drew You mean, celebrated guys like you?

37:22 Adam Well, the guys who, you know, want to take the stimulus up a notch.

37:26 Drew Gay guys like it. She established that.

37:28 Adam Gay guys like it.

37:29 Drew That's alright.

37:29 Adam And also, adult sexual guys who, you know...

37:31 Drew I'm making a little connection here between your aversion, your protesting so much, watching the gay erotica.

37:37 Adam I said not the thumb.

37:38 Drew And now the pinky and the toe guy.

37:41 Adam I established the heterosexual fire line right there. The fire line was no thumb.

37:45 Drew Alright, here's what I suggest. I gotta pee.

37:48 Adam You want?

37:48 Drew Yes, I gotta take a pee.

37:49 Adam I would say, touch around the area, and if the guy jumps off you...

37:53 Drew Yep, yep. We're gonna come back to Antonia. I do not want her to leave.

37:56 Adam Antonia, stay on the line.

37:58 Drew We've got a good five more minutes to deal with her.

37:59 Adam At least.

38:00 Drew Okay, so...

38:00 Adam I think we can get an hour out of this.

38:01 Drew You stay right here. Antonia from NAPA, Sex Educator, she's 22. Rob has a lot to say about the digits in the Tokai. We'll see where this goes after this. It's Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-E. We're going back to more prostate massaging.

38:21 Adam And basically we left on the question, when is the best time during oral sex to massage the prostate? I'd say about 8.30. Quarter to 9, quarter to 9.

38:34 Drew Now I'm glad you're here, Rob, defending the preference of massage, prostate massage. Because I rarely talk to guys that are into that.

38:43 Adam Really?

38:43 Drew No, the guys for the most part, they're angry when a woman tries that nonsense. And I'm of that school generally. And so I'm glad to hear somebody else give an alternative point of view. So here you go.

38:55 Caller That's been my experience as well.

38:58 Adam God love you for being so interested in the guy you're with and pleasing him in a different way.

39:02 Drew And by the way, most guys, and I mean nearly all guys, they're interested in just you being there. And being into the experience.

39:12 Adam Thank you for not leaving.

39:13 Drew Yeah, not doing anything to them.

39:15 Adam Thank you for letting me have sex with you.

39:16 Drew What they want you to be is to be aroused and be into the experience. And that's it. That's as good as it gets.

39:20 Adam And occasionally make some eye contact.

39:22 Rob Schneider Good Lord, it's so big. What am I going to do with all that? Oh, my God.

39:29 Adam It's good to throw on one of those.

39:30 Drew But Rob, if she says it, won't you think that she's been with somebody else?

39:33 Adam Yes, and that'll kill me and excite me at the same time.

39:35 Caller You've done this before.

39:37 Adam I hate you.

39:37 Caller I love you.

39:39 Caller God, I'll think about it when you're gone.

39:42 Caller Huh?

39:42 Drew What's that?

39:44 Caller He previously had it done by another partner and it scared him. But he said it scared him because it felt good. But he didn't want anything near that area. So I am apprehensive about it. It scared me.

39:53 It scared me so awful.

39:55 Drew I bet it scared him. He appreciated the adventuresome spirit, but he wasn't actually interested in the act.

40:01 Caller Yeah, yeah.

40:02 Drew That's what I bet. Guys, really.

40:04 Caller It's true that, I mean, when there's pressure placed on the pancreas, they're on-

40:09 Drew I hope not the pancreas. Good Lord, how long are your fingers, lady?

40:13 Caller Get your finger out of there.

40:14 Adam Good Lord, I think you just touched my spleen.

40:18 Caller Oh, my God! Please do it again.

40:22 Adam Well, wait a minute. You just- Wait, first of all, it's not a big deal. Guys don't need it. It's not necessary. But if you want to play around in that area, it helps if they're drunk. I will just say that.

40:32 Caller I wouldn't do it, really, if it had to be something that would have to be asked of me. I just keep hearing about it.

40:38 Adam Can I ask, what's your fixation about it? You like it. Does it turn you on?

40:41 Caller I like to keep doing oral sex. This is always the thing I did in my conversation with homosexual men.

40:46 Adam Let's get off the homosexual men for a second. Please get off them quickly. Now, does it turn you on? Is it something that excites you? It does. Ha-ha.

40:56 Drew That's because she likes the oral sex thing.

40:57 I enjoy the oral sex.

40:59 Adam Yes.

40:59 Caller I enjoy giving the oral sex a lot.

41:02 Adam But there's also something else going on here. I'm sorry. I have to push the blue button now. Because I'm a co-host. I'm not just coming in here plugging one of my crappy movies. I'm here. I'm here as a co-host.

41:11 Caller And I can push the blue button anytime I want to.

41:13 Adam I just pushed it there, Antonio from Napa. Here's the deal. I forgot what I was going to say.

41:19 Drew It was about the oral thing.

41:20 Caller Okay.

41:21 Drew And the anal.

41:21 Adam All right. Now, you're excited about this. You like it. You do. She does. So good for you. But you know, you're into it. So God love you. I forgot I was going to say that.

41:33 Drew No kidding.

41:33 Adam I pushed the blue button. No, so excited about what I was going to say.

41:36 Drew Okay. Yeah. The lore on this is that it's during, just at about the time of ejaculation, but I'm telling you, most guys are not going to be into this. They're going to be angry when you try to pull this off. They're in, he'll like the fact that you're into being moral.

41:52 Adam He may even say, like, hey, yeah, I'm kind of lying, but really, they're not usually into it. They really are. It's not a part of sex, like, you know what? Why would it be great if you just would have used your thumb and stuck it up my behind?

42:07 Drew What is the drive to do this, even though you know he's not going to like it?

42:11 Adam No, no, no. I thought it was a push the blue button because I found out what it is. It's about control. She wants to take it to another level because she's excited that she's got control. It's a power thing. That's what I was going to say when I push the blue button. And I forgot because I'm not normally a co-host, but now I am. So I push the blue button again. And it's about control and power. And she wants the power of the guy. She wants to be, it's more of a masculine thing with her. I think so.

42:32 Drew All right. How's that sound, Antonia?

42:33 Caller It's not really the power. I don't talk to a lot of girls about their sexual experiences because all my friends are gay men. So I just hear about it a lot. And I've never tried it.

42:44 Drew That's what intrigues you.

42:45 Caller Yeah.

42:46 Adam Where are you going to go from here, though? Where do you go after the... Antonia? OK. After you got the whole... Let's say we had the perfect answer for you here. After a while, you're going to get tired of the finger and the old poopy-shooty, and then you're going to want to do something else. You're going to want to take out the massive, gigantic dildo of death, and you're going to want to use that and strap it on you. And then where are you going to go from there?

43:09 Drew She's working her way through her peeves. Then she is going on to the pancreas.

43:12 Adam All right, all right. You know, stop hanging out with all your only gay friends.

43:15 Drew Here's a Rob question. Lucy is 26.

43:16 Adam Hey, Lucy. It's going to be tough to top that last one.

43:20 Drew Lucy, what's up?

43:21 Adam What's up, Lucy? Cell phone.

43:24 Drew What's she doing?

43:25 Caller She's wasting it.

43:26 Rob Schneider Hi. Where are you?

43:27 Adam Hi. Can you please lift your head out of the bathtub and talk to us?

43:33 Caller Oh my God. I can't believe I'm here.

43:36 I thought I was going to be on hold for a long time, so I'm taking a shower.

43:39 Drew Oh my God.

43:40 Adam No, it's okay. Talk to us in there.

43:42 Caller Oh my God.

43:44 I'm standing here naked thinking of what's going on.

43:47 Adam Who isn't, frankly? I am. Dr. Drew is most of the time I do the show. So what's your question?

43:52 Oh no, it wasn't a question. I just wanted to say hi. I was like, when I was 17, I won like off of a radio station. To be an extra on Men Behaving Badly and I rode a rollercoaster with you.

44:04 Caller Wow.

44:05 Adam Hey.

44:06 Drew Blue button.

44:08 Adam That's great. Well, thank you. I'm glad you're calling me naked now that you're almost legal age and you erode and well, God love you, you must have been like eight years old. So that was, I hope, a good experience for you. I think you vomited on my lap if I remember correctly.

44:22 Drew All right, Rob, what are we going to tackle next? What are the, I don't know. Give a shout out for the kinds of calls you're looking for next time.

44:28 Adam We're looking for sexual things. It's Loveline. Some things that you want to talk about that may be experience with your girlfriend, boyfriend, other weird, some strange things, maybe guys.

44:40 Drew We've had some pretty good ones. It's pretty good.

44:42 Adam Better than last night. Last night.

44:43 Drew We're finding a few things out about Rob too along the way. You're finding out that thumbs and the took eye are good.

44:48 Adam Thumbs are bad.

44:49 Caller No thumbs.

44:50 Drew He protested too much whenever he views gay erotica.

44:53 Adam Yes.

44:54 Drew And God only knows what we're going to learn next hour. So it's 1-800-LOVE-191.

44:58 Adam The floodgates of my sexual perversion are going to open.

45:00 Drew That is Rob Schneider. I'm Dr. Drew. We will return after this. 1-800-LOVE-191 is our number here at Loveline in studio. The demure, the quiet, the soft spoken, Rob Schneider.

45:24 Adam Unopinionated.

45:24 Drew Unopinionated.

45:26 Adam Well, I actually got lost in the bathroom this time.

45:28 Drew You actually did get lost.

45:28 Adam Yeah. So I feel like I'm not a co-host anymore.

45:30 Drew Tried to challenge yourself.

45:31 Adam I was just thinking about Antonia again up in Napa and her whole homosexual thing with the prostate. Now listen, don't get your heterosexual sex advice information from gay guys. It doesn't work. That's like asking a house painter what it's like to play in the NBA. He doesn't know.

45:49 Rob Schneider They won't know.

45:50 Drew They're men. They're men.

45:51 Adam They're men, but it's a different thing. It's different. It's like, you know, going fishing or, you know, mountain climbing. It's two different things and, you know, the gay guys, they're not going to give you the best advice for your heterosexual sex. Trust me, you know, it's not going to help.

46:06 Rob Schneider It's like, you know what I think would be great? If you got him on all fours and then you started pouring wax on him, he'll love it. Oh my God.

46:15 Drew Now, there are some guys that like the took eye manipulator.

46:19 Rob Schneider What? Yes, yes.

46:20 Drew And that doesn't mean they're gay.

46:22 Caller No, no, no, it doesn't mean they're gay.

46:23 Drew And that there are plenty of gay guys that don't like that.

46:25 Adam But I'm just saying the guys' chances are, I mean, her, she's focusing too much on it. I think it's a power thing with her.

46:30 Drew It seems like it, doesn't it?

46:31 Adam It does like she's going to go, yes, and then I, you know, I'll be in control, he'll be freaked out, and then I'll feel like I won.

46:36 Drew Right, I got this in my mouth.

46:37 Adam And I can tell my gay guy friends everything, and then they'll love it. And it's, you know, so.

46:41 Drew See, it felt a little aggressive.

46:42 Adam Doesn't sound like a deep relationship.

46:43 Drew Felt aggressive, yeah, yeah.

46:44 Next caller, please.

46:46 Drew Yes, sir, Alexis, 27.

46:48 Caller Yes, hello.

46:50 Drew Oh, hey, wow. Put that drop in again, Anderson.

46:54 Caller Hello.

46:55 Next caller, please.

46:56 Drew That's Alexis.

46:57 Adam Same person.

46:58 Drew What's up, Alexis?

46:59 Hey, I have a question. This guy I'm dating, when he comes, it's not in a large quantity, and I understand every guy is different. But he said he went and had a sperm count, and his doctor said it has nothing to do with the quantity of come.

47:15 Drew That is absolutely correct.

47:18 Wow.

47:18 It's so little.

47:20 Adam Grossest call of the night here.

47:23 Anyway, my boyfriend has like, he says, it's so much. Oh my God.

47:27 Caller It's ridiculous.

47:28 I mean, anyway, I have to like swim out of the bedroom. It's so much. I know what to do. The downstairs people are complaining about the drips through the floors. I don't know what I'm going to do.

47:38 Drew Here's the deal, Alexis. You've been told that it does not affect fertility. It doesn't have anything to do with the total amount of sperm delivered.

47:43 Caller It's just gross.

47:44 Drew So what is it? Is it some sort of primitive thing that your man has to deliver a lot of volume in order to feel okay?

47:51 Not at all. I just don't want him. I just thought he was maybe saying that because I don't know because he didn't want to have his He's not saying.

48:00 Drew He's not.

48:01 Adam He's not.

48:01 Drew He's not, Alexis.

48:02 Adam I gave you a piece of advice, Alexis. Before he goes off, just have him say, There she blows!

48:10 Caller Clear the gates! Here he comes!

48:15 Well, I mean, what's...

48:16 Adam Is there a problem?

48:17 What?

48:18 Adam Is there a problem with it?

48:20 No, not at all. But I just thought he was just saying that to basically... So I wouldn't question it any further.

48:26 Drew No, obviously...

48:27 Adam Does he work in the porn industry?

48:29 Drew Right. That's the only time they actually need that.

48:31 Rob Schneider Okay.

48:32 Adam Can I ask a question? Is he on Vial... Vice... What's his name?

48:35 Rob Schneider Viagra?

48:35 Adam Viagra. Viallis.

48:38 Drew Levitra.

48:38 Adam Levitra.

48:39 Caller Is he... He's not on any medications at all.

48:41 Adam He's not.

48:42 Drew And here's the deal.

48:44 Adam Bummer for you.

48:47 Caller I just wanted to make sure, like, if I ever plan on having a future, I just wanted to know if that was true.

48:52 Drew Obviously, there are rational...

48:53 Adam Working on that baby voice. Worry about having a future.

48:56 Drew She does have the baby voice.

48:57 Caller Anyway, I just worried about him so much.

49:01 Drew There are rational limitations to volume. In other words, if it's zero, obviously, you're not going to be seeing any sperm produced. But for the most part, reasonable... A tiny amount can deliver adequate amounts of sperm. So you needn't worry about that. And the fact that you keep perseverating and obsessing about this...

49:16 Adam Yeah, that probably makes him really comfortable.

49:18 Drew You do kind of have that little girl voice. Did you have anything happen to you when you were like 8, 9, 10 years old?

49:24 Why does every caller have to have something wrong with them?

49:28 Adam Because you don't talk like a woman. You talk like a 9-year-old girl. That's why. That's why we're asking.

49:35 Oh, I can't help that.

49:36 Caller I don't know.

49:37 Drew Well, usually that happens. That's one of the reasons.

49:39 Caller I'm not obsessing about it. Like, it's totally fine. He told that to me once.

49:45 Drew Yeah, I agree. That's the 6th time you said that. Are we done?

49:50 Adam Okay. Now, we're good? Well, how about you ask a question? Why do you talk like a baby?

49:55 Caller I don't know. I can't help you out with that one.

49:57 Adam How about this? Were your parents, are your parents still together?

50:01 Caller No, they're divorced.

50:02 Caller But they're like friends.

50:04 Drew How old were you when they divorced?

50:06 Caller Nine.

50:07 Caller Hey, what do you know?

50:09 Adam Suddenly the actor's not the dumbest person ever on radio.

50:12 Drew What's the circumstance? Was there something bad happening when he left? Dad left?

50:16 Caller Oh, no. My parents had like a totally amicable divorce. Got along. I've had a very good relationship with my dad.

50:24 Drew Why did they divorce?

50:25 Caller No, I actually was very lucky.

50:27 Caller Why did they divorce?

50:29 Caller They were married 17 years and they just grew apart. They had been separated like before I was even born, like when my brother was like three or something, and they just stayed, I guess, together for the kids, and we got older and then went on together.

50:44 Adam Well, I wish you had more time, but I just want you to know that something happened when she was nine. She's regressing to something that she won't deal with. I did.

50:52 Drew Ali, 21?

50:53 Caller Yeah.

50:54 Drew Hey, what's up?

50:55 Caller Um, not much. I just really need to get over this guy. I don't know what to do. I'm losing my mind, I feel, sometimes.

51:02 Adam How about just leave him? I mean, what, what, what do you...

51:04 Caller No, I left him. I left him.

51:06 Caller It's not bad.

51:07 Caller I, you know, I'm, go to UCLA, I just started up there and...

51:12 Caller Okay.

51:13 Caller I'm just having a hard time being alone, I guess.

51:15 Adam Ah, there we go. Well, why'd you leave?

51:20 Drew What was happening, or not happening?

51:22 Caller Well, actually, I found my birth family, and they live in LA, and I decided to live up there, to like, be close to them. And we grew apart, and he didn't want to drive up all the time, and I knew something was going on, and I just didn't know it out. Like, I don't know.

51:39 Adam Hey, you know what? The relationship, I mean, so you're having a hard time saying goodbye to the guy?

51:47 Caller Um, I mean, I moved, and we were still together. And then, like, the distance kind of separated us further, and I felt like we were just arguing a lot.

51:56 Adam Alright, alright, alright. What do you want? Do you still want to be with this guy?

51:59 Caller I can't be with him. There's no physical way.

52:02 Adam Alright, okay. Then move on. What are you holding back for?

52:08 Caller I'm scared. I just, I feel like I'm gonna be hurt again, really, really bad, because every guy that I've been with so far, like, since we've been broken up, it's just, maybe I was thinking for the wrong person.

52:17 Adam So you have been with other guys since.

52:19 Drew Abandonment is a big issue for you, right, Ali? Yeah.

52:21 Caller Okay.

52:22 Drew So you have what we call abandonment issues.

52:25 Caller That's hot.

52:26 Adam I'm sorry, but I just find that hot.

52:27 Drew And you having been adopted puts you at risk for those kinds of phenomena. How old were you when you were adopted?

52:34 Caller I was a baby. I was 10.

52:36 Drew How old?

52:37 Caller I was a baby. How old? A year, like three months.

52:42 Drew Still, that's three months is not day of birth. Three months, were you with your biological family until that point?

52:50 Caller I was in the hospital because I was like sick. My birth mother did a lot of drugs, but she passed away. But I just recently found my brother and it's just this hole. You're right, it is abandonment.

53:02 Drew By the way, when you go searching for your birth family, it's always terribly disappointing. And be careful.

53:09 Caller He's going to be a genius.

53:11 Adam My father is going to be an inventor. My second cousin is going to own the Lakers. He's going to be the best thing ever.

53:20 Caller I mean, I wasn't expecting the best thing ever.

53:23 Adam But still, no, no, no, I know what you're saying. But it's still, it's a tough one. However, this is tough. You know, it's almost like an addictive type of thing where you have to kind of deal with the day at a time, sometimes an hour at a time. And you feel kind of like, you know, like you're lost in this, right? You can't get out of it. Yeah.

53:43 Caller Okay.

53:44 Adam All right. Well, you, that's the way I feel every day. All right. Let me just tell you that right now.

53:47 Caller Okay.

53:48 Adam All right. You think it makes it tough in show business? You think it's tough trying to get a job as an actor? Huh? Huh? I have to write my own movies, lady. You think you got it? Hey, wait a minute. I just, doctor, if you please let me. All right.

54:00 Drew Oh, please, please.

54:02 Adam I would just, you know what? Do as many positive things you can for yourself. Any little thing that you can do is a positive thing. And you're still in school, right?

54:09 Caller Yeah, absolutely.

54:10 Adam Okay. That's a positive thing you're doing every day. It's just getting through the next, you know, they say in Alcoholics Anonymous, something I know, but they say, if you can't make it a day at a time, take an hour at a time. You can't do an hour at a time, a minute at a time. It's getting and doing positive things and not destructive things. Destructive things would be seeing people are negative and mean to and not, you know, do take drugs or whatever and doing positive things. People care about you, think you're beautiful, wonderful, and that's a good start.

54:35 Caller Care though, that's really my hard part.

54:37 Adam What? Well, you don't need, if you would have watched The Hot Chick, you'd know this, the movie, My Man, first by Adam Sandler. You don't need a guy, you know, when they're out in the balcony, they're in the prom scene. I said, you don't need a guy to make you feel beautiful and feel good about yourself, make you feel beautiful. I even forgot, I wrote the lines, I forgot, with Tom Brady, the great Tom Brady. I said, you don't need a guy to make you feel good about yourself. If you think you're gonna spend the, if you think you need a guy to make you feel good and complete and everything, you're gonna be unhappy your whole life, whether you get married, have kids or not. Dr. Drew, back me up there, please.

55:10 Drew I totally agree, and Ali, here's something, though, to keep in mind, that when-

55:14 Adam Don't add anything to it!

55:15 Drew Just one second.

55:16 Caller Jesus!

55:17 Drew It's a little bit of stuff to think about, and that is that when you have abandonment issues-

55:21 Caller I love you, doctor, by the way.

55:22 Drew Thanks, Ali. You can be very fragile-

55:24 Adam It's not so nice in person.

55:25 Drew Be very fragile. And tend towards depression. And you go to UCLA, they have student health services, avail yourself of the mental health services if your depression starts becoming intense. And number two, the whole process of leaving when you have abandonment issues becomes paralyzing. And if you can't, again, if you can't negotiate what Rob is suggesting, which with his good advice, that's time again to seek some help, get some therapy.

55:49 Adam Because you know what?

55:50 Drew Watch through this.

55:50 Adam You know, once you talk to people and you get it out, there's just something, somebody just being there to talk to you. No matter what he says, he says nothing to you. You're getting it out of your system and you're dealing with it. And that's part of it. And you realize, you know what? It's not such a strange, not such a weird thing. You're not, you know, there are other people who have been through this and gotten through this. And so it's just something you're just going to have to get over by loving yourself.

56:11 Drew Stephanie is 24.

56:12 Adam Stephanie is? All right, Stephanie. Hi.

56:15 Caller Hi. Hi.

56:17 Adam Okay, what's going on, Steph?

56:19 Caller I'm fine. I actually had a question. My husband and I have been married for four years. And he's wanted anal sex for a very long time. And I can't get to the point where I can relax myself enough to deal with the pain. And I was-

56:35 Drew Let me stop you right there. The pain you're having is your body telling you it wasn't meant to engage in this activity. It's like saying, I couldn't relax enough to get my arm, my finger severed from my hand. If I just relax more, I could just get that finger right off my hand.

56:52 Adam I tried to put my body in the trunk of my car where my leg was sticking out. And if I could just relax a little bit more and get my foot in my abdomen.

57:02 Drew And I am just amazed what women put up with and go put themselves through.

57:07 Adam Well, he has been married her for four years. I know, but you gotta give him that. That's not like, you know, it's a second date.

57:12 Drew Here's the answer. No, it hurts.

57:14 Adam If you don't want to do it, you should just, you should be okay, he should be okay with the fact that you don't want to do it.

57:18 Caller He's okay with it. I just-

57:20 Adam You would like to do it for him, but you can't?

57:22 Caller Yeah.

57:23 Adam All right. Well, then let him know that.

57:25 Drew But it's not magically, people would argue with me about this and say, oh, no, this technique and blah, blah.

57:31 Adam Yeah, maybe. Hey, listen, if you're not, if you're not slightly bit interested or excited about it, it's not gonna happen for you. And that's just that he's gotta get used to that, that he didn't marry a whore, he didn't marry a porn star, and he's gotta get over it, rent a movie. Next time he says that, he goes, honey, rent one of those dirty movies. You can get it on HBO demand or whatever the heck it is and watch it or go buy one.

57:54 Drew There are women that are into this and do find it pleasurable.

57:56 Adam But if you're not, you're not.

57:57 Drew They don't have pain, by the way. And so that's not you, you have pain. And by the way, you're gonna rip your, you're wrecked them, you're gonna get fissures and tears and prolapse.

58:04 Adam There is some good lube, though.

58:06 Drew Does David Elam Grier drop about this that I kinda like? What'd I say?

58:09 Rob Schneider What'd I say?

58:10 Drew What'd I say?

58:10 Caller I got feelings for you.

58:11 Caller Can I prolapse your anus?

58:13 Drew So, so, you know.

58:15 Caller I love you, baby.

58:16 Adam Let me hurt you permanently.

58:17 Drew That's right. This is now Beth.

58:18 Caller Let me make you poop in a bag. Baby, I love you.

58:21 Drew Thank you. Beth 24.

58:23 Caller Hi.

58:24 Caller Well, first of all, I, I love both of you. Like, Drew, I was the one who actually brought you to Tulane when I was an undergraduate.

58:32 Drew Oh, God bless you. What are you doing now?

58:34 Caller Actually, I went to grad school at Harvard and I taught for a year and I'm applying to law school because I want to get into the DOE, that kind of thing.

58:42 Drew What did you study at Harvard?

58:44 Caller Education, education, educational leadership.

58:47 Drew Congratulations. Aren't you glad you're not in Tulane this year?

58:50 Caller Well, you know what? They're coming back in January and that's one of the places on my radar for law school.

58:55 Drew Oh, that's cool. Fantastic.

58:56 Adam Aren't you glad you're not like our last caller who's getting, is getting probed anally?

59:03 Caller And Rob, since fifth grade, when my parents were the only ones who would let me stay up to watch Saturday Night Live, I was doing Rich Meister impressions.

59:10 Adam Oh, well, you're very sweet. That's very nice. You tell your folks I said hello, yeah?

59:14 Caller I will. But anyway, my question is, when I get PMS, like I get, it's ridiculous. Like, I just feel like I'm not myself at all.

59:24 Adam Can I ask a couple of questions before the doctor tells you the truth? Before the doctor says I should have it. Do you take, do you drink a lot?

59:29 Drew Do you take MSM? Do you take?

59:31 Adam Come on! That's good advice. Listen, do you drink a lot of Diet Pepsi's and stuff like that?

59:37 Caller Diet Pepsi?

59:37 Adam Diet drinks? Diet Pepsi?

59:38 Caller Diet, diet, no, I'm 95 pounds on a fat day, but...

59:41 Adam Do you drink like a lot of sodas?

59:43 Caller I do. That's my only nutritional vice, actually.

59:46 Caller Hey, hey, come on, you give me that!

59:47 Adam That's going to make...

59:49 Drew Is it cola you drink? Colas are the bad ones.

59:52 Caller Just, in general, ginger ale or, yeah, I mean, it's the only thing that's not healthful that...

59:58 Adam Well, let me tell you, let me tell you, that, is that, drinking those drinks, is it worth the mood swings you're going through?

1:00:06 Caller Um, does it make them worth? You know, I actually never...

1:00:08 Adam Yes, yes, they do. Absolutely, they will do. Because you are, you're at all of ninety-five pounds. So, a certain, like, if Dr. Drew here, who's pushing, I think about a buck ninety, by the way, if he...

1:00:22 Caller I'm only five-one, I'm not anorexic.

1:00:23 Adam Okay, all right. I'm just saying, if you take some chemicals, somebody, especially at ninety-five, your wellness ratio is going to be smaller than other people, or a little bigger. And so, if you take some chemicals and some sugar, it's going to throw you off, or even if it's just chemicals or diet, whatever, and it's going to make those chemical things happen in your body. I'm going to get too technical. Those chemical things happening in your body, and you're going to have those mood swings, and you don't need them, so cut out that crap. Those sodas will kill you. They're bad for you. Get them. Drink more. Eat a healthier diet, and you won't have those mood swings. You don't need medicine. You don't need to go to a doctor. This is stuff because of your diet. I guarantee you.

1:00:59 Caller I was actually going to ask if the pill would...

1:01:01 Adam That's it. No, that's it. We're not letting Dr. Drew...

1:01:04 Drew No.

1:01:04 Adam You're going to ask what?

1:01:06 Caller If the pill mitigates that, or...

1:01:09 Drew Birth control pill?

1:01:10 Caller Yeah. I mean, or... I've never actually been on it.

1:01:14 Drew Yes. Some women have marked improvement with...

1:01:17 Adam Here's what I hate.

1:01:18 Drew Actually, there's a progesterone, a pill named Yasmin, with a strong progesterone that was designed specifically for them.

1:01:23 Adam That's the weakness of this American Medical Association, is this.

1:01:27 Drew American Medical Association has nothing to do with doctors. It's a lobby group of robbers and...

1:01:32 Adam It is terrible. Let me tell you this.

1:01:33 Drew No, no, but it has...

1:01:34 Adam We are the most over-medicated country on the planet. We have $500 billion worth of prescription drugs, and I guarantee you most of them are unnecessary. The average senior is on five medication prescriptions and probably takes another five non-prescription stuff. It is over-medicated. And the thing, just the fact that you would say, can I take the pill? When I just told you what you need to do, you can do it through diet and exercise to moderate. Yes, you may have a different kind of chemical makeup so that, yeah, you can have more mood swings and your hormones are a little crazier or whatever. But the chances are, if you can get on a healthy diet, drink a lot of liquids and don't drink the crappy sodas, it's probably going to moderate your mood swings. But instead of doing that, they'd rather take some strong hormone pill even though she's clearly not having crazy sex at Harvard.

1:02:25 Drew Let's hear how bad this gets. Do you ever have suicidal thoughts?

1:02:30 Caller You know what, I do and then a day later I'm like...

1:02:33 Drew It's a 20% fatality rate with this. 20%, one out of five will kill themselves.

1:02:37 Caller Really?

1:02:38 Drew Yeah, with depression, which is really what you're describing here.

1:02:41 Caller Well, the next day I'm fine, I'm like, you know, I can go conquer the world after that.

1:02:46 Drew I understand, but if you're having severe enough affective disturbances that you're contemplating killing yourself, that is something that...

1:02:53 Adam Do you think about killing yourself?

1:02:56 Caller Not long term. I'll just get frustrated and I won't be able to see... My whole actions and consequences trajectory gets thrown off a little bit during that time.

1:03:06 Adam Spending way too much time in school studying psychology. Hey, can I ask you a serious question? Will you answer me seriously?

1:03:12 Caller I will.

1:03:12 Adam Beth, how many sodas do you drink a day?

1:03:15 Caller Probably like one or two if I'm particularly stressed and need to stay up maybe like three.

1:03:23 Adam Okay, well that's not an exorbitant amount.

1:03:26 Caller No.

1:03:26 Adam Okay, but that is... You know, I think three of those things could throw you off, could throw you off a little bit and make your mood swings a little worse. But clearly...

1:03:34 Drew I've never read a literature that suggests sodas will cause suicide.

1:03:38 Adam No, okay, I'm not saying... I'm saying will cause more of a mood swing when she's having a period.

1:03:43 Drew Agreed. And...

1:03:44 Adam I think enough women are on their mood swings. Let me tell you, I'm an expert.

1:03:48 Drew But we've asked the question and she's responded affirmatively that she has suicidal ideation. And once you have suicidal ideation, that's a sign of how severe the actual...

1:03:57 Adam Not Mountain Dew...

1:03:58 Drew .Chemistry is. And so it's something that is really concerned. Is there a bipolar illness in your family?

1:04:03 Caller I was adopted. Oh, and by the way, I think Allie's call before. No desire to ever meet, you know, my birth family. But I was adopted to all my medical history.

1:04:13 Adam How old were you when you were adopted?

1:04:14 Caller An infant. Like, it was pretty much preordained, I guess.

1:04:18 Adam Can I just go further down this line of thought here? Beth, do you ever go, like, all day without eating and then eat at night?

1:04:26 Caller Um, no, actually. I'm a really healthy eater except for soda every once in a while. I don't like chocolate.

1:04:33 Adam That kind of shoots a hole through my theory. Can you just, I'll ask a question again, just lie? Do you exercise?

1:04:37 Drew Do you exercise?

1:04:39 Caller I do. Right now I have a torocholus, so I can't.

1:04:43 Drew You have a torocholus?

1:04:45 Caller Yeah. I was visiting some law schools and I hurt my neck, I guess, frankly.

1:04:49 Drew You strained your neck. Torticolus means a chronic spasm in the neck. Usually, that's a neurological condition.

1:04:55 Caller This is what the doctor told me.

1:04:57 Caller I don't know.

1:04:58 Drew What kind of doctor?

1:05:00 Caller I just went to an urgent care person on Saturday because I literally couldn't move.

1:05:07 Adam All right. Well, thank you for having our ratings dip.

1:05:09 Caller Sorry, I'm sorry.

1:05:10 Rob Schneider We're on a roll, Beth.

1:05:12 Drew All right. Here's the deal, that there is research that shows that beings on certain homos can mitigate some of these symptoms as you suggested. There are things if you're having severe enough problems that you're starting to contemplate suicide. I think it warrants a very careful evaluation.

1:05:27 Adam I'm going to say it's diet Pepsi.

1:05:30 Drew Okay. Here now, whoops, I'm going to say it here. Let's get back to a Rob question. This is B25.

1:05:38 Caller Hi, Dr. Drew.

1:05:39 Drew Hey, what's up?

1:05:40 Caller Hi. Okay. So, I'm calling because I was listening to you earlier and you were saying that it's really unusual for women to enjoy anal sex.

1:05:48 Drew No, I didn't say unusual.

1:05:49 Caller Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey.

1:05:51 Drew Here's Rob's question.

1:05:52 Adam Now, wait a second here. We never wanted any of our listeners to ever think that we would want to say that women don't like anal sex.

1:06:02 Caller I'm just asking because I actually really like I had never had an vaginal orgasm ever. And then I had anal sex and I had an orgasm every time.

1:06:14 Adam Excuse me a second. The streamers are falling down right now. I wish you could see it. No, it's New Year's.

1:06:27 Drew Here's Rob's favorite call of the night.

1:06:29 Adam Thank you, we have a winner.

1:06:32 Caller We have a winner.

1:06:33 Adam Well, you know what, I mean...

1:06:36 Caller I mean, why is that? Like, what would cause me to be able to orgasm?

1:06:42 Drew Yeah, it's really hard to say because there are women that have only pain with that, and there's some women that are really into this. In my experience, women that have multiple orgasms tend to be the ones that like the anal, but that's not you either, right?

1:06:54 Caller Well, I mean, I couldn't have vaginal orgasms, but when my boyfriend would go down on me, you know, manually or orally, like, yeah, multiple orgasms.

1:07:03 Caller Okay, all right.

1:07:04 Adam Well, then you're in the area.

1:07:05 Drew So you're in that sort of multiple category.

1:07:07 Caller We have a winner!

1:07:08 Drew And why it would be anal, not vaginal? It's hard to imagine what God was thinking about when he set that up, but it does happen.

1:07:15 Adam Well, yeah, I mean, the thing is, if you enjoy it, I mean, it's either thing is also, the guy can spend more time trying to work. It's something like, you're still young. Maybe you can still...

1:07:27 Drew Rob just wants to keep talking to you. He's looking for something to talk to you about.

1:07:30 Adam You're still young. You live in an area relatively close to me. No, but no, no, listen, listen, listen. You have the guy work a little bit more, but also some women just don't have orgasms with vaginal sex.

1:07:43 Caller Yeah, that's true.

1:07:45 Caller Well, I just wanted to say that I've been listening to you for a really long time.

1:07:47 Adam Two I know of for sure.

1:07:49 Caller And Rob, you're hilarious, but Dr. Drew, this is amazing. It's my first time I've ever been on the radio with you. And so this is so fun.

1:07:58 Adam Please call every hour.

1:08:01 Drew You are Rob's favorite. You are Rob's favorite caller. It's interesting. By the way, did you go down this path, the rare entry path, because that was something the boyfriend was sort of pushed down? Or was it your idea?

1:08:12 Caller Or you curious?

1:08:13 Caller Well, it was kind of both ideas.

1:08:16 Caller We both had like...

1:08:18 Adam He's good. Honey, wouldn't it be great?

1:08:21 Caller Honey, wouldn't it?

1:08:22 Drew Made her believe it was her idea.

1:08:23 Caller Instead of the other place, we go in this place. Honey, wouldn't it? I mean, think about it. Think about the possibilities of the other place.

1:08:32 Caller Well, you know, tantric sex, seeing God, that whole thing.

1:08:35 Caller Yeah.

1:08:36 Caller That was us, okay?

1:08:37 Adam Yeah, well, God love you.

1:08:39 Caller This is kind of like...

1:08:40 Adam Just videotape it all and send it to Dr. Drew.

1:08:42 Drew And I'll give it to Rob.

1:08:45 Caller But it was kind of fun exploring it and he wanted to try it.

1:08:48 Caller And actually, oddly enough, I liked it a lot.

1:08:50 Caller And then after a few times, he was like, I don't want to do this so much anymore.

1:08:54 Caller He did?

1:08:55 Caller Because it kind of freaked me out.

1:08:57 Caller The whole poop thing kind of freaked him out.

1:08:59 Caller Like, that kind of happened, like, while we were having anal sex. But, like, he used his finger one time and it...

1:09:06 Adam All right, all right, all right. My nieces are listening to the show. Easy, we were winning, we were ahead, and all of a sudden, it got really bad fast.

1:09:16 Caller I love anal sex and I actually masturbate that way as well.

1:09:20 Drew Nice. But it's interesting is that in this case, this was someone who kind of was into it herself.

1:09:25 Adam Yeah, so that makes sense. It was exciting for her. So that makes sense. She could have an orgasm with that.

1:09:29 Drew As opposed to the girl going, my boyfriend's been asking for this for 17 years and I'm really trying to do it.

1:09:34 Adam I mean, if a woman is very, very excited or about something new and excited, then it's going to increase the possibility for her to have an orgasm.

1:09:40 Drew Yes, but not with that, it doesn't hurt.

1:09:42 Adam If I'm excited about something, if I fall out of the back of a van, I could have an orgasm.

1:09:45 Drew Oh, really?

1:09:46 Adam Yeah, literally. Well, it depends on which side I fall on. But still, the idea is if I'm excited enough, when I was younger, I would fall out of a van and yeah.

1:09:55 Drew Ejaculate.

1:09:56 Adam Absolutely.

1:09:56 Drew I see. Interesting. I want to hear more about that, but we're going to take a break right now. Why? It's 1-800-LOVE-191. We will be right back. It's Loveline. 1-800-LOVE-191. The great Rob Schneider is in here tonight.

1:10:14 Adam Hi Dr. Drew, man. I was going to say, man, it's been going pretty good tonight.

1:10:16 Drew It is going pretty good tonight.

1:10:17 Adam Pretty good. Pretty good. I don't want to jinx this. You know what I'm saying? We still got another.

1:10:21 Drew 31 minutes.

1:10:22 Adam Another 31 minutes, man. You know what I'm saying? But it's been good, man.

1:10:25 Drew Here's Kevin. He's 19.

1:10:26 Adam Kevin. Kevin. Kevin.

1:10:31 Drew There he is.

1:10:32 Adam He's deaf.

1:10:33 Caller Hey, what's up, guys?

1:10:34 Caller What's up?

1:10:36 Adam What's up, Kev?

1:10:37 Caller What's up?

1:10:38 Caller Yeah, so my question.

1:10:40 Caller Yeah?

1:10:41 Caller I have sex with my girlfriend. This is the only one she's on top, though. I kind of hear like a little bumping sound, and I kind of hurt her like it hurts. It hurts her. And it feels like my penis is flicking something inside her.

1:10:57 Adam It is. Yeah, it is.

1:10:59 Caller Yeah. Oh, so I'm thinking that's bad, though, because it hurts.

1:11:02 I'm a big boy.

1:11:04 Drew That's her cervix. The uterus is at the end of the vagina, and you hit the cervix, and it kind of flips the uterus up and down when you straighten it out like that.

1:11:14 Adam I was going to say the same thing. I know about that. Who doesn't? Well, why don't you get off? Why don't you ever get off you then?

1:11:22 Drew Or maybe not go down.

1:11:24 Caller I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what was that? And yeah, I'm not hurting, but she is. I'm like, all right, you know, you should relax. She's like, no, it's all right. And I'm like, OK.

1:11:31 Drew She's fine. When we do a pelvic exam, that's what we do. We take the lip of the speculum and flip up the cervix. And there you go. In this case, your penis, the penis is shoveling away in there.

1:11:41 Adam And you probably find another way to do it.

1:11:45 Drew Well, she doesn't hurt her, though. It just freaks him out.

1:11:47 Adam It doesn't hurt her? It hurts her.

1:11:49 Caller Yeah, it hurts her, but I kind of hear it too. I feel it clicking around in there. I don't know what's going on.

1:11:55 Adam Does it hurt her?

1:11:57 Caller Yes, it does.

1:11:57 Adam All right, well, then don't do that.

1:11:59 Drew Find a different position, then, all right?

1:12:00 Adam Find another position. Jeez.

1:12:02 Drew That's what they call it retroverted uterus. They call it tilted uterus.

1:12:06 Adam Get another girl. It doesn't make that noise.

1:12:08 Drew You're pretty 18.

1:12:10 Caller I mean, it's easy.

1:12:12 Drew Sometimes the guy making the clicking noise, because there's like a ligament that holds the penis up, the suspense really good. And it can crack like you can crack a knuckle.

1:12:19 Caller Really?

1:12:19 Drew Until it will crack, crack.

1:12:21 Caller Wow.

1:12:21 Drew Nice, huh? Britney 18.

1:12:22 Caller Glad I don't have that.

1:12:23 Hi.

1:12:24 Drew Hey.

1:12:25 Adam A penis, that is.

1:12:26 Caller What?

1:12:27 When I was in high school...

1:12:28 Drew At least not one that reaches the cervix.

1:12:31 Adam It's better.

1:12:32 Caller What?

1:12:32 Drew Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am.

1:12:34 Caller Hi.

1:12:35 Sorry.

1:12:36 Caller Hi.

1:12:37 When I was in high school, they were having sex and they had a lot of sex, okay?

1:12:41 Adam Oh, where do you live, by the way?

1:12:43 I live in Tahoe.

1:12:44 Adam Lucky for them in Tahoe. Okay, go ahead. There wasn't a lot of sex in my high school, at least not with me.

1:12:49 They were lucky. They were very lucky to have any of this.

1:12:53 Adam Go on. What's your thing?

1:12:55 Drew Wait a minute. You're confusing me.

1:12:56 Anyway, my mom never let me have birth control because she thought I would have more sex if I was on it.

1:13:01 Adam Good thinking, mom.

1:13:03 So I had to use condoms, but I discovered that I was pregnant.

1:13:09 Adam Boo for the guys.

1:13:11 Caller They made me break out in a rash.

1:13:13 Adam They did? Well, God, that would be worse than getting pregnant or STDs.

1:13:19 Caller They just shut up.

1:13:20 I never got pregnant, and so I just started having sex without anything because I just never got pregnant, so it never scared me. You know what I'm saying?

1:13:26 Adam Yeah, sure. Well, that's good thinking.

1:13:28 Drew It's good logic, right?

1:13:29 Adam That's really good. I mean, hey. You sound like a winner, Brittany.

1:13:34 Okay, so I'm 18 now, so I went to birth control, so I was on it, and I tried a couple different kinds, and it makes me nauseous. I throw it up.

1:13:41 Adam Well, then don't use any. Just have crazy, unprotected sex with strangers. It's an answer is clear as a bell.

1:13:47 Caller She just said throw it up.

1:13:48 Caller I'm getting older now.

1:13:50 I'm getting older now, so I'm getting more logical, you know, and so I really...

1:13:53 Drew Oh, man. We hear that.

1:13:55 Adam You know what, Brittany?

1:13:56 Drew We hear logic. Brittany, I think logical.

1:13:59 Adam I think you should write a book of advice for girls to have sex, young girls. Really. I mean, you are a...

1:14:07 Drew Shining beacon.

1:14:08 Adam You are a shining beacon of unsafe sex for young girls in high school. And the fact that you have not gotten into a terrible car crash and thinned out the herd is really, really a miracle. But no, so I don't understand why these girls aren't wearing condoms. I don't understand what...

1:14:26 Drew Well, she's allergic to latex.

1:14:58 Adam They're not always out front. They're in the back. Don't ask me how I know that. But they are.

1:15:02 Drew You keep referencing the back door.

1:15:04 Caller No, no, I mean they're in the back of the pharmacy.

1:15:07 Drew Oh, I see.

1:15:07 Adam You're the one with dirty mind. Right there is proof.

1:15:10 Drew I'm sorry.

1:15:10 Adam They're not going to have them right out in front.

1:15:12 Drew That's embarrassing. So here's the deal, Brittany. As far as you know, you've never been pregnant, maybe you've lost some pregnancies. As far as you know, you've never had an STD. For all we know, you've got... Certainly you have HPV. Certainly you may well have chlamydia if you've not been tested for that. You may have herpes and not know that. I would say you probably have three STDs and not know it. Have you been...

1:15:33 Caller I've been tested for everything.

1:15:35 Adam Have you been tested?

1:15:37 Caller Yes, I've been tested. I've even been tested to see if I was ever pregnant anytime and I have no scarring to signify it.

1:15:43 Drew Well, you can't really tell.

1:15:44 Adam Yeah, you don't know that from that test. There's no such test.

1:15:46 Drew Yeah, but tell me about the HPV test. What did you have done?

1:15:49 Caller The what?

1:15:51 Drew Papilloma virus test.

1:15:53 Caller I don't want to discuss that. That's gross.

1:15:56 Drew Okay, so you didn't have that test. You can guarantee, I can pretty much guarantee you.

1:15:58 Adam Do you know what that test is?

1:15:59 Next caller, please.

1:16:02 Adam Do you know what that test is, Brittany?

1:16:04 Caller Excuse me?

1:16:05 Adam Do you know what that test is?

1:16:08 Caller It just said, why did the phone just say next caller to me?

1:16:11 Rob Schneider Yeah, all right.

1:16:12 Drew Because it's worth taking the next call. Dana 33.

1:16:15 Rob Schneider Loser.

1:16:18 Caller I'm not a loser.

1:16:19 Adam No, no, not you, not you. No, no, Dana, I'm sorry.

1:16:21 I'm calling. Actually, Dr. Drew, I love your book, Cracked. I bought 15 of them and then given them out to several different people.

1:16:27 Adam That is awesome. That's a nice caller. Well, good, good. I tell you, Dr. Drew tells the truth. He tells it like it is whether you want to hear it or not. Usually I don't want to hear it.

1:16:38 Caller Oh yeah, he was my mom and she said, why do I need that?

1:16:41 You just need to understand my brother.

1:16:43 Caller So just read it and you'll understand it.

1:16:45 Adam That's nice.

1:16:46 Caller Anyway, my question is, Rob, do you use body doubles?

1:16:50 Adam You know what? Thank God you asked this question. Because you know what? That stupid effing channel FX says on the movie The Animal that I use the body double. And I never use the body double. I don't. It's not. I actually am part Filipino.

1:17:02 Drew It's all CGI.

1:17:03 Caller No, it's not.

1:17:05 Adam I actually work out, actually, but while I'm working on movies, I work out while I'm not. I can get fat.

1:17:10 Drew I will testify the fact that he eats, is especially careful with the diet. You humble me with the dietary management.

1:17:17 Adam I will tell you this, I am part Filipino, which imbues me with a nice round ass. It's mine and it's mostly hairless. Just deal with that up there in Roosevelt.

1:17:27 Caller Okay.

1:17:28 Adam Thank you for noticing.

1:17:30 Okay.

1:17:32 Drew Wait a minute. I'm sorry. What was that Dana cut you off?

1:17:37 Adam Dana.

1:17:37 Drew She's gone. You want to hear some more?

1:17:39 Adam She was nice.

1:17:40 Drew Here is Jennifer's 21.

1:17:41 Adam Why can't people be nice like that? Hi, Jennifer.

1:17:45 Caller Hello.

1:17:45 Caller Hi.

1:17:47 Caller Yes, I'm calling because my stepfather has been abusive to me up until now. And I just recently like cut him off. Like I'm not talking to him anymore.

1:17:57 Adam Good.

1:17:57 Caller But I'm married and I have two children. And now they're starting to ask about him, but I won't let him see them. Am I doing the right thing?

1:18:05 Adam Yeah, absolutely. Freaking lutely. Yes.

1:18:07 Caller Hey, can we tell you?

1:18:08 Caller He hasn't been abusive to them.

1:18:11 Caller Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

1:18:12 Adam Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Firewall. You need to put a firewall. And do you want the same abuse that those kids? Because he will. Because there is no such thing as a recovered abusive guy in this situation. He's going to do it again.

1:18:24 Drew Yeah, I agree. And you don't want the kids seeing you. First of all, he's a perpetrator, even though it's mostly verbal abuse, physical abuse. What is it?

1:18:32 Caller No, he's raised me since I was two and he has physically, like he just physically abused me, like four in July this year.

1:18:42 Caller Sexually?

1:18:43 Caller No, no, just like physically, like he's being a black guy. We were transiting.

1:18:47 Drew No, forget it.

1:18:49 Adam No way. You know what? It's like, it's not, you just can just deal with the kids. The kids aren't going to be crying about, where's grandpa?

1:18:57 Caller Why won't you let me see grandpa?

1:18:58 Drew No, Jennifer.

1:18:59 Rob Schneider What's wrong with you, mom?

1:19:01 Adam They don't care.

1:19:01 Drew I'm wondering what's wrong with you that you're even contemplating. That you would even contemplating, you're contemplating bringing a perpetrator like this back into your household is mind boggling.

1:19:13 No, I'm not. I'm not.

1:19:14 Caller It's just like-

1:19:14 Adam Well, why would you think that the kids would need to see him? What would the kids possibly get out of this?

1:19:19 Caller Because my mom keeps bothering me about it.

1:19:21 Adam Well, tell your mom, you know what? You have to be stronger than that.

1:19:26 Caller Yeah, and my husband says the same thing.

1:19:28 Drew Why did you call the police when the guy hit you?

1:19:31 Caller I did, and he was caught in my- my stepfather is an ex-police officer.

1:19:35 Adam So what? Next police officers get arrested all the time.

1:19:38 Caller I know, but he gets away with things and they-

1:19:41 Adam Yeah, well, you know what? Let me tell you, Jennifer, don't be so weak. Don't let that- don't let the guy hurt your kids. He will. Be stronger than that. Listen to your husband. He knows what he's talking about. And you should probably let him have anal sex just because you're even thinking about that.

1:19:56 Caller No way.

1:19:57 Rob Schneider All right.

1:19:58 Adam Keep an open mind.

1:20:00 Caller Oh my god.

1:20:01 Drew Here's Cade 24.

1:20:03 Rob Schneider Cade.

1:20:04 Caller Cade.

1:20:07 Adam Yeah. What's going on, man?

1:20:10 Drew That's it?

1:20:11 Caller Wow.

1:20:11 Adam Okay. That was a good one. Worth it.

1:20:12 Drew That's it?

1:20:13 Caller Wow.

1:20:15 Drew We're not even getting creative of bogus calls here. That's insulting.

1:20:18 Caller Wow.

1:20:18 Drew At least deliver a story, real scene in some way.

1:20:21 Adam Well, I'll tell you what though. It's amazing to me how someone like Jennifer from wherever the heck she's from, obviously, it's such a no-brainer. Keep the violent people who've hurt me away from hurting my kids.

1:20:35 Drew Well, and yourself too.

1:20:36 Rob Schneider I don't know. Maybe I should let them. They seem like the nice people.

1:20:40 Drew That's the insanity of being a trauma survivor.

1:20:41 Rob Schneider My mom thinks it's okay.

1:20:43 Adam Yes. No, she's like a co- what do you call it? Codependent kind of stuff.

1:20:47 Drew Enabler.

1:20:47 Adam Yeah, the mother's definitely an enabler. Mother's sick too.

1:20:51 Drew Yes. So, yes.

1:20:51 Adam I keep the guy who would hurt you.

1:20:53 Drew Keep the perpetrator.

1:20:54 Caller He won't do it again, honey.

1:20:56 Drew Perpetrators relinquish their right to be in your life. End of story. Yeah. All right. Give us some calls here. It's 1-800-LOVE-191. You know Rob Schneider. Call him. Ask him provocative questions.

1:21:07 Adam Absolutely. I will tell you my uneducated opinion.

1:21:10 Drew The more you ask him questions, the more he reveals stuff about himself and his preferences. Just a second. So give us a call here. We're going to take a little break. Be right back.

1:21:30 Caller This is Loveline.

1:21:34 Drew Loveline, Rob Schneider, 2800 LOPE 191. We're going right to call. This is Rex, who is 24. Hey, Rex, what's going on?

1:21:41 Caller How are we doing today?

1:21:42 Drew We're good. Rob Schneider, the great Rob Schneider.

1:21:45 Adam Thank you, sir. How's it going, Rex?

1:21:47 Caller It's good to talk to you there, Rob. My question tonight actually is a general award.

1:21:55 Adam Yes.

1:21:55 Caller I have general awards. My fiancee, we believe, got them from me. She's okay with that whole situation.

1:22:05 Adam Wow. Nice girl.

1:22:07 Caller Yeah, she's an angel.

1:22:09 Adam No problem. It's all right. No problem.

1:22:12 Drew There will be a vaccine against this in about six months or so. It's very effective.

1:22:17 Adam But you have to have it.

1:22:18 Drew No. It's for people that don't have it.

1:22:21 Adam If you don't have it?

1:22:22 Drew You won't get it if you take the vaccine.

1:22:23 Adam I thought it was for people who have it.

1:22:25 Drew No, no, no. It's for the people that don't want to get it. Wow.

1:22:28 Caller If you do have it, at the same parenthood that we talked about...

1:22:31 Adam Well, she just missed out then, didn't she?...

1:22:34 Caller that there is a topical cream or something that you can apply.

1:22:38 Adam Can I just ask you a question, R. Rex, there, before we even get to that? Did you know you had these?

1:22:43 Caller No.

1:22:45 Adam No. I heard a little pauser.

1:22:47 Caller Well, I thought it was something down there.

1:22:49 Adam No, I thought it was a piece of clay. On my wiener there. I didn't know what it was. I don't look down there.

1:22:56 Caller We've been together for like four years.

1:22:59 Adam Ah, all right, all right.

1:23:00 Caller It kind of had surfaced, you know, maybe a year.

1:23:03 Adam Well, that's very possible. Yeah, it can recur for darn sure.

1:23:07 Drew All right, the Aldera cream is what you're talking about, and that's for really skin lesions, skin warts. So it's good for the male. It's not so great for the female.

1:23:15 Adam Yeah, there's no way you're going to be able to... Actually, they have to, with her, they're just going to have to go and...

1:23:21 Drew Sometimes, sometimes a little bit of control there, because the more warts you have around, the more virus produced, the more they tend to spread. And certain subtypes, the one that are more persistent viruses are the ones associated with cervical cancer.

1:23:34 Rob Schneider However...

1:23:35 Drew So she needs to get careful, careful examinations regularly.

1:23:38 Adam Let me just say this, the doctor's not going to agree with me, Rex, but listen to me.

1:23:41 Drew Stop drinking colas and your cervical cancer will go away.

1:23:43 Adam No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Just have your girlfriend boost your immune system no matter what. Boost your immune system, 10,000 milligrams of vitamin C, and MSM. Have her take it. What couldn't hurt. Boost her immune system. And I'm totally serious. 9,000 milligrams of MSM. Have her do it.

1:24:00 Drew Here's Carrie, she's 18.

1:24:01 Adam Seriously, Rex. Yes. 18, yes.

1:24:04 Rob Schneider Hi, Carrie.

1:24:05 Drew Hi.

1:24:05 Rob Schneider Hi.

1:24:07 Adam A lot of Northern California this week, this, this, tonight.

1:24:09 Drew What's going on?

1:24:10 Adam What's up? What's up?

1:24:11 Okay, I was wondering, okay, me and my husband, we just got married like two months ago.

1:24:15 Adam And how old are you?

1:24:16 Drew They just shot up.

1:24:16 19.

1:24:17 Adam Well, at least you waited. You know, to wait to find somebody great. You know, you took your time.

1:24:22 Yeah, I just graduated from high school.

1:24:24 Adam Sure. Well, then that's why not. You're done. What else is there after that? You graduated high school. I mean, you, well, I mean, you gotta get married at that point.

1:24:34 Drew I mean, think about it, Rob, if you had got married at 18, could you have married a raccoon or marmoset?

1:24:41 Caller Please have sex with me.

1:24:43 Adam No, I just I don't understand that. I don't get it. But anyway, so go on. So you're 19 now. God love you. Yeah.

1:24:50 Caller So we just got married and we have sex all the time.

1:24:54 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Well, who didn't at 19?

1:24:57 Caller Well, yeah, go on.

1:24:59 Caller OK, when we have foreplay and we mess around like that, I have dildos.

1:25:05 Caller Sure.

1:25:07 Adam Why wouldn't you? You're a high school graduate. OK, go on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.

1:25:13 Caller I was wondering why or how I can keep my pussy tight because my husband.

1:25:18 Adam Oh, hey, hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. OK, all right. OK, I'm going to push the blue button there and on the carry from Marysville. Listen, I know that we make some comments about this last night. Yeah, there's no such thing. If I don't care if you're using the, you know, the tennis ball can. Yeah, yeah. Master Johnson's super duper dildo from Australia or from, you know, Nairobi. It's it's gonna it's not going to affect your tightness.

1:25:51 Drew Right. You spring back no matter what. That area is designed to handle the head of a child.

1:25:56 Adam Yeah.

1:25:56 Drew Coming on down.

1:25:57 Adam You're 19 until you're baby. You have a child. You are you're going to be all right.

1:26:02 Drew Why in the world are you obsessing about something like that?

1:26:04 Caller Oh, I'm not. It's just he it pissed me off because he made some kind of a question or he made a comment about that. And then we just got kind of not in a huge fight, but we got in a fight about it.

1:26:15 Adam Oh, man.

1:26:16 Drew Well, it's good that you're married.

1:26:18 Adam Yeah, he's a jerk. You don't have to take that. You know, it's good you're married to him, though. It's good you got to know him. Yeah, of course. You're married. So you got that going for you. So you're married to this jerk.

1:26:27 Drew Alicia, 26.

1:26:29 Caller Hi. My question is, the first time I want to say, Rob, that you are awesome and I found you very hot.

1:26:36 Adam Well, you're very kind.

1:26:38 Rob Schneider You're not alone. You're not alone.

1:26:39 Drew Talk about your butt again.

1:26:42 Caller My question is, is that sometimes when I'm in a stressful situation, such as like taking a test, I actually go through the process of having an orgasm and it stops me from doing what I'm doing and I can't stop it. This is something I've done ever since I was in high school and I'm currently going through college right now. There's something I can do to stop this.

1:27:03 Drew So I can concentrate. Wow.

1:27:05 Adam Well, let me ask you, are you having a sex life? Are you able to have orgasms when you're not doing this?

1:27:10 Caller Yeah. Well, you know what? I am a very active person as far as my sex life goes. Every time I'm in a vehicle, I can't help but masturbate, so.

1:27:17 Adam All right.

1:27:17 Drew All right. All right.

1:27:18 Adam Then you know what, Alicia, you're a winner. We have another one. We have another one. Well, you're just, you're having to be very open and s- She can have orgasms in classrooms and while she's driving.

1:27:40 Drew So anyway, Alicia, are you one of the people, Alicia, that just can have orgasms sort of like contracting the muscles in your legs?

1:27:47 Caller You know, the weird thing is that when I'm having sex with my husband, I don't always come, even though I'll be working it in my head and move my body, but sometimes when I'm completely away from a situation that's at all sexual, maybe thoughts just get into my head and encourage something, but either way, I just, I physically have an orgasm while I'm sitting there and I don't know if there's something I can do to break myself up.

1:28:11 Adam Well, you know what though, you can concentrate so that doesn't happen. It sounds like you kind of enjoy it.

1:28:16 Caller I do, but I need to stop it. It's really a...

1:28:20 Adam Just enjoy it, because when you're 40, it's gone. You're going to go, I don't miss the times when I was riding the bus and I was looking at the bus driver at the back of his head and I was imagining he was a giant penis. I was thinking what he could do with that big bus driver if he just stopped driving or just let the car or bus run and run right in the middle of traffic and came back here and pleasured me. And the next thing I know, I'm having an orgasm.

1:28:43 Drew He's kind of bragging, I think.

1:28:44 Adam Yeah, I know. Well, God love you. And you know, I feel bad for your husband. You should make him feel bad about that. Honey, you know, I can actually have an orgasm in class, but not with you. Anyway, so what are we going to do tonight?

1:28:54 Drew Michelle 24.

1:28:56 Hi. My question is, I'm married and I've been sleeping with my boss for over a year now.

1:29:04 Adam Wow. Not your husband?

1:29:07 Well, sleeping with my husband as well.

1:29:09 Adam So you're having an affair. Good times. Well, hey, I wish we could say we're another winner, but we have a loser. Well, okay. So why are we having this affair?

1:29:20 My husband doesn't really satisfy me sexually. He's tried and he's really, really tried.

1:29:28 Adam How does he miss? What's happening down there?

1:29:31 Okay. Well, it just seems like the only way that I can come is actually if I'm masturbating while he's having sex with me from behind.

1:29:41 Adam What's wrong with that?

1:29:43 Caller Perfectly normal relationship. You're greedy.

1:29:47 Drew And what does this guy do to the boss?

1:29:50 He does everything.

1:29:51 Adam Like what?

1:29:52 Great oral.

1:29:54 Adam Okay.

1:29:54 And he'll have anal sex with me. My husband won't.

1:29:58 Drew You've asked him to do these various things. Okay.

1:29:59 Adam Now, have you talked to your husband about going down on you?

1:30:02 Caller Yes.

1:30:02 Adam And you say, honey, honey, no, no, no, no, honey, that's my belly button. Lower, lower. Now, that's my elbow.

1:30:08 Drew He won't do it?

1:30:09 Caller No, he doesn't. It's like does nothing for me.

1:30:12 Adam All right. Okay. Okay. Let's push the blue.

1:30:14 Drew A little bit chaotic there, Michelle. Well, you need to end this marriage if it's not working out.

1:30:18 Adam If you're not into it and if he's so sloppy when he's down there, you know, and it sounds like you're having some reckless behavior.

1:30:26 Drew Yeah, it's chaos.

1:30:27 Adam And if you can't get him to please you, if you don't love him enough to want to work him to the point, then you're not in this relationship and probably he isn't either. So get out of it. But also though, your boss can't be the greatest guy either.

1:30:42 Drew Absolutely not. And Michelle's in the drama and this kind of thing.

1:30:46 Adam Let me ask you, are her parents divorced? Of course. Of course.

1:30:49 Drew It's going to be worse.

1:30:50 Adam Let's find out from Michelle. We do?

1:30:52 Caller Why? Real quick.

1:30:52 Drew We've got 10 seconds. Go, Rob.

1:30:54 Adam Michelle?

1:30:55 Caller Yes?

1:30:55 Adam Family? Parents divorced?

1:30:57 Caller I'm sorry you're breaking up.

1:30:58 Adam Parents divorced?

1:31:00 Caller My parents? No, they're still together.

1:31:03 Drew Bummer. Any chaos in your life growing up? Drugs?

1:31:06 Caller Yeah, my parents are drug addicts.

1:31:09 Caller There we go, there we go. We have a winner right after 54 yards right at the field goal, and it's good!

1:31:15 Drew Gotta take a break. Be right back. Well, that about does it for Love Line. Rob Schneider, the great Rob Schneider, once again with us tonight. Thank you so much for joining us.

1:31:35 Adam And we'll be back tomorrow.

1:31:37 Drew We will be back tomorrow. So until that time, this is Dr. Drew. You want to say some farewells?

1:31:41 Adam Just a good night, Helena, and thanks everybody for listening. Adam, Jackie, and Boone, and the whole team.

1:31:45 Drew The whole crowd was listening to you tonight.

1:31:46 Adam Joe Goosen, and my nieces, and my brother.

1:31:48 Drew And this is Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:31:50 Caller Habend eine große Schwanzstücke und rote und dicke.

1:31:56 Rob Schneider This has been Loveline.

1:32:08 Caller The producer for Loveline is Aningold.

1:32:11 Caller Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Monday, November 14, 2005