Episode 1000736708718

0:15 Adam 1-800-L.O.V.E.

0:16 1-9-1.

0:18 Voiceover Love Line starts now.

0:21 Voiceover Hey everybody, it's Loveline, the phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Coming in here anytime now is Rob Schneider. I'm actually giving in his phone number right now. We're trying to track him down. Here's some numbers for you. All right, I had a great time this weekend. I went to an amusement park with my kid, went to Knott's Berry Farm and got broken into some of those thrill rides. I mean, I, you know, as I've aged, I'm not quite one for those rides. But now they they haul your ass up like 400 feet in the air and just drop you. And your body thinks that's what's happening. You know, you know, you're locked into a seat. Your body thinks you're falling off a building. I think people with tendencies to have blood pressure, strokes, cardiac condition, I worried I was going to have a coronary up there. And now they've invented a thing. They have a huge swing. They have a giant swing they sit you in. Cause about 85 miles an hour, about six stories in here. You pansy! Yeah, I know, but still, but still. Listen, if I, what I don't like is the corkscrew stuff and the loop to loop things. I still, I can't tolerate that stuff. You like that? Yeah, okay. Well, we're quite excited. Andrew, do you like that?

1:24 Caller I know I hate all that stuff, but how long do you think it'll be before they're all outlawed by the lawyers?

1:29 Adam You know, it's sort of surprising that it hasn't been. You know what I mean? There's some stuff I wouldn't even go on. My kids just love these rides, and Nott's just looted with this stuff now. I figure if they get away with it this far, they're probably going to keep getting away with it. You know what I mean? Because people kind of look around and go, well, so far no one's died at this park. So whatever park, they're filling the blank. And it's, I guess, a mark of distinction if no one has actually died at your theme park. It actually shows how safe things are, given that people are falling off buildings and going 85 miles an hour.

2:00 Caller You know what I mean? How many people have died at Mickey's house? Who's Mickey's house? Disneyland.

2:06 Adam McDonald's? Oh, I'm sure. Yeah, plenty.

2:08 Caller I think like four or five people in the last 10 years.

2:10 Adam Right, and so, and it's, given that, listen, given just the number of people that move through these parks, it's amazing that more stuff doesn't happen. I mean, just forget the fact that they're all going to eat five miles an hour and up 12 stories in the air, just moving people through, choking on hot dogs and, you know, you know what I mean? Anything with this huge, huge numbers of people going through, I gotta think something's likely to happen. So it's a testament to how much good, you know, how much care they take in these parks that people don't get hurt more often. And now it's, now it's a, you know, there's shows on various cable channels now, but the most crazy roller coaster, the fastest, the biggest, it's all, so it's game on. It's like a competition to see who can, what's gonna happen is somebody's eventually is gonna kind of split open on one of these rides, and that's gonna be it. That's gonna be the fastest ride, and that's where they'll stop. So anyway, Rob is, what's that, what?

2:56 Caller Their bodies will split open, their organs will fall out.

2:58 Adam Yeah, so they're just gonna split, yeah, of course, they just finally go so fast. Well, you know what actually happens in deceleration injuries, this is something for everyone to learn, your aorta is held in place by sort of a tendon, and when it decelerates real fast, your aorta will tear and just everything just spills out inside your in your chest basically. So although you won't actually split open, although things are going fast enough, and these rides maybe they will, your insides decelerate slower than your body decelerates, so it keeps going forward. That's how people die in car accidents and things oftentimes, or you sort of your brain moves in your skull and it causes a vein to tear. That's good, that's good times, it's all good. I feel like that was happening every ride I was on, but we had a great time. My kids love these things. That's how it goes. So Rob Schneider is coming along here somewhere and is trying to track him down. We'll go to calls in the meantime. It's 1-800-LOVE-191. Rob is supposed to spend the whole week with us here this week. You know him from 51st States, you know him from The Hot Chick, Deuce Bigelow, both the male Jigelow and European Jigelow. Male Jigelow, European Jigelow, that's it. He was in Saturday Night Live for several years and he'll be back and just he'll be with us in a few minutes. This is Matt who's 19.

4:06 How are you doing, man?

4:07 Adam Hey, what's up, man?

4:08 How much did you know?

4:09 All right.

4:10 Adam I'm doing good. You're the one with the question. So here we go.

4:13 All right.

4:14 I'd say about six months ago, my friend was telling me about getting off, different ways like getting off, shoving things in your pee hole.

4:25 Adam How does something incredibly painful get you off?

4:29 I mean, it hurts at first, but I mean, then the access starts feeling good once you work your way up with it.

4:35 Adam What are you talking about?

4:38 It's like on the internet. You guys never seen anything like that?

4:42 Adam No, I've never seen anything like that. Although I have done a number of procedures on a number of different people and I trust you, they do not get off. They do not have erections. It does not feel good to them. No matter how you anesthetize it, no matter how many times you do it, no way. So if they're advocating something like that, they're trying to get you to do something that hurts. Maybe they're doing it as a part of some weird S&M procedure, but no, it's not something that makes things feel good under any circumstances that I can see. And by the way, that's a sterile, from the tip of the penis on in is a sterile territory. You put something unsterile back in there, not only are you going to cause scarring and breakdown and all kinds of horrible, you can cause infection. It can really be a catastrophe. So, hey, but good times, whatever you're into, right? Whatever, whatever, if you're into that, that's fine, Matt. Oh, my God. Kylie, 22.

5:34 Hi.

5:35 Adam Hey, what's going on?

5:36 Well, I have the whole, you know, bad past, you know, trauma in my past and everything.

5:43 Adam Thank you for presenting that right up front. That makes things easier.

5:47 Yeah, it's the whole daddy wasn't there syndrome and when he was, he was beating my mom and stuff. So, that's fantastic.

5:53 Adam Anyway, anyways, I have like this, I'm kind of attracted to girls, but I don't know if it's just one of the sort of routes to lesbian I've seen is when women have been around too much brutality delivered by men.

6:08 Yeah.

6:09 Adam And if you've seen enough brutality, finally just go, bring women on.

6:13 What's hard for me though, is I don't, I don't really remember it. Like a lot of my, I'm bipolar too. And not bipolar too, bipolar one, but bipolar one also.

6:23 Adam Also.

6:24 And then, so I, they, a lot of my, I don't remember a lot of my childhood. Like, and most of my doctors say that they think I probably dissociated during it, so it was pretty tough. And a lot of them also think that I may have been sexually abused.

6:42 Adam Okay.

6:43 Because, just because of the way I act and I had sex at a young age and.

6:48 Adam Got it.

6:49 And all that stuff.

6:51 Adam And what's your question? Is it adding up the score and saying yes, yes, yes? Good and good that you're getting treatment, good that you have insight, good that you have a diagnosis.

6:59 No, I just, I don't know if like that's why I'm attracted to girls or if it's just because. Well.

7:05 Adam Does it make a difference? Does it matter?

7:09 I don't know, because I'm attracted to guys, too, and I just don't know how to go about.

7:12 Adam All right, so here's sort of what I would expect given the history you're describing. Is that there's a lot of confusion about who you are in a relationship, a lot of confusion about sexual orientation, and guys are probably pretty scary.

7:28 Caller Well, yeah, I guess.

7:31 Adam I don't want to put words in your mouth, but you've seen a lot of brutality delivered by men, and you probably attracted to guys that are not so great, so had some crappy relationships under your belt, I bet.

7:42 Caller Yeah.

7:43 Adam All right, and so men just don't look terribly appealing, even they look very exciting. They've been a pain.

7:48 Caller Why can't you just find an effeminate guy?

7:52 Adam Don't you, Anderson?

7:52 Caller Yeah, why can't you?

7:53 Adam You'd be an effeminate guy?

7:54 Caller No, no, not me.

7:55 Adam No.

7:56 Caller Like a guy out there, maybe like a mat.

8:00 Caller Well, for some reason, I am attracted to one of my gay friends, boyfriend. Gay man.

8:05 Adam Right, that makes perfect sense, right? Yeah, that's a better form of the male, right? He's not so threatening, he's not so aggressive. Yeah, he's nice. Yeah, he's everything that's good about a woman than a guy. Except he doesn't like you. He's not into women. So in a way, it's a perfect solution to your problem, the unattainable guy that's nice. But that's not good. That's not the way of a real relationship.

8:28 Caller Like, if I do decide to be a lesbian or whatever, not that it's necessarily a choice, I don't really know. Will I, like, eventually, I don't know, is it like I'm being a fake lesbian and eventually I'll grow out of it or?

8:46 Adam I would just, yes, it makes good sense. Kylie, just consider yourself kind of confused right now. Okay, until you kind of get to the point where you feel connected to another person, comfortable with a person, attracted to that person, whether that's a male or female, when you want a relationship with that person, that's when you should be in the relationship. Now, with all this confusion and identity confusion, the real risk is you're going to be attracted to people that are basically a reaction to how you're feeling about relationships. In other words, you're either going to be wanting somebody who's unattainable, like your friends, your gay friend, or somebody who's exciting and abusive, because dad was abusive and that sort of becomes the model for attraction in your adult life. That's what you have to watch out for. Not so much about your identity as much as who you're going to be attracted to. So really what you need to find is somebody who's not too exciting, somebody who you are attracted to, at least moderately. And it sounds to me like you're sort of, you're gay by default, that men are sort of scary and a bit abusive and you've seen all the brutality delivered by men and probably made some bad choices with men. So you're sort of pushed over the other direction and you're confused. I don't know. I would be very slow and very careful to pick a partner in a relationship. Take it easy. Work with your therapist. It's good that you're in treatment. You're taking your medications. Go slow. Mike 31.

10:05 Caller Hello, how are you doing?

10:06 Adam Hey, good. What's up?

10:07 Caller Not much. I got a question about hemorrhoids. Like, what's the procedure for that anyway? Like, because from what I hear, like it's, they set you up as if, I guess, like you're going to have a baby or something and they cut your rear end or something like that. And from what I hear, it's really painful, too. It's worse than giving birth.

10:24 Adam Mike, what prompted this question?

10:27 Rob Schneider Well, no, because I have a problem.

10:29 Caller I have a problem.

10:30 Adam And you just thought to call Loveline to ask a hemorrhoid question? It's a good time. It's all right. It's all right.

10:36 Caller I'm not really sure who to talk to.

10:38 Adam All right. All right. How about your doctor?

10:41 Caller Um, yeah. Well, I...

10:43 Adam Oh, yeah. There's that. It's a little bit embarrassing.

10:46 Caller That's all.

10:47 Adam Oh, but National Radio Program, no problem. Okay. I understand. Okay. All right. So have you tried anything else for these hemorrhoids? Are they recurrent problems? Are they multiple? Do they bleed? What's happening?

10:58 Caller Well, like, you know, it hurts, like, if I pass gas or if I go to the, you know, the path.

11:03 Adam You're having just one, this one episode right now.

11:08 Caller Well, I've had it for a little while. And actually, my dad had it when, you know, when he was younger and he had it fixed. And I had it when I was a bit younger.

11:16 Adam All right. Here's the deal. All right. Here's the deal. If this is hemorrhoids, which you don't know, because you can't tell, you have to have a doctor examine it. There can also be fissures and fistulas and abscesses and all kinds of other things that can feel just like hemorrhoids, okay? So you don't know if that, and hemorrhoids, so people understand they're basically congested veins down around the anus and they look like little polyps kind of poking out there. And if they are recurrent, if they are bad, in particular, if they bleed, they can band them or ultimately they can cut them out. Generally, we try not to do that because it does hurt like hell. You'll never believe how many things you do include movement in that area of your body. Every time you chew food, every time you move around, it is excruciating. So we try to avoid that procedure. So in your case, Mike, you got to see a doctor to get a diagnosis, first of all. And then there are all kinds of other things you can do to sort of get these under control other than a surgery or procedure. You might want to try Anusol Cream over the counter for the first, first line of defense. Here's Kevin, who's 18. Hey. Kevin, what's going on?

12:13 Caller Nothing. How's it going?

12:14 Adam We're good. We're going to have Rob Schneider in here in about, I bet, 10 minutes. He's on his way.

12:19 Caller Okay.

12:20 Adam Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's precisely how he's coming in. What's up?

12:25 Caller Nothing. I heard that you can put on your perineum while you're having an orgasm and it'll cause the semen to go into your bladder.

12:32 Rob Schneider True.

12:33 Caller This is true?

12:34 Adam Yep.

12:36 Rob Schneider What does it do?

12:38 Adam Goes into your bladder. If you push, the perineum is the, as Adam used to say, it's the part between Scrotenberg and Anusville. Right. The taint, you push there, you learn the right spot and it sort of redirects the flow back up towards the bladder during an orgasm. Not the healthiest thing you can do, right? Things that need to come out of your body, generally designed to come out. You cause a lot of irritation and even again, you could cause stricturing in the urethra, that sort of thing. But people do do it. I've talked to people on this show that do it routinely. The motivation to do it is what I find rather bizarre. The motivation generally is sort of thrown under the umbrella of cleanliness. Really? Really? It's that big a deal to pick up some Kleenex for you guys?

13:18 No, it's not a big deal.

13:20 Rob Schneider I have no real desire to do it.

13:22 Caller I was just out of curiosity.

13:24 Adam Well, there you go. It's possible.

13:26 Caller Well, thank you very much for your time.

13:28 Adam Why did you give me advice? I'm not sure I gave you advice. Let's talk to Jim who's 23. Jim?

13:35 Caller Hello?

13:36 Adam Jim?

13:37 Caller Drew.

13:37 Adam Jim.

13:38 Caller What's up, man? I'm a big fan.

13:40 Adam Thank you. What's going on?

13:41 Caller I got a small question. I've been with this girl for about four years. I met her when I was 19. She was my first love. I gave her my virginity, all that. Anyways, I know since we first became sexually active, when she climaxed, she would urinate a little bit.

13:58 Adam Was it a urinate or ejaculate or what? How did you tell the difference?

14:00 Caller I could tell from the smell. It was in pee, you know?

14:04 Adam Has she had children before? It usually happens when people have had kids.

14:09 Caller That's just the tip of the iceberg. Last week, we went to a party at her friend's house, had some drinks, ended up getting pretty drunk. We came home, things got hot and heavy, started having sex, and we did it longer than we'd ever done it before in like an hour, hour and a half. And this time when she climaxed, she pooped also, like a lot. And now she's all creeped out, she won't have sex with me.

14:36 Adam Aren't you creeped out?

14:38 Caller Huh?

14:38 Adam Aren't you creeped out a little bit?

14:40 Caller Well, yeah, but you know, not to the point where I don't want to have sex with her anymore.

14:45 Adam Yeah, again, guys are...

14:46 Caller I need to figure out if there's something I could do, you know?

14:48 Adam Hang on a second, guys, if this is real, which I'm still debating, it's the beauty of guys, right? First of all, nothing stops them, right? He could have, I mean, he could have caused a hemorrhage, near-death experience, it's like, well, what's the big deal? Let's get going here. That, and then the fact that anything that a guy does that produces something different than what other guys have produced, oh, fantastic. You know, even if she's producing stool over herself, it's fantastic, Jim. And now, do you want to, help me understand what it is you're-

15:21 Caller Do you think maybe it's because of the alcohol, or is it like a diagnosed problem?

15:24 Adam Is it like something that happens to a lot of women? No, I mean, maybe, no, it does not happen to a lot of women, but also you may have been going so long that you actually caused her pain or discomfort or, I mean, an hour and a half for some women is excruciating.

15:37 Caller Yeah, well, she said she didn't feel anything. She said she couldn't even feel it coming out.

15:40 It just kind of was happening.

15:41 Adam Yeah, but you may have sort of anesthetized the whole area there by traumatizing it. I, you know, that's a little, you know what I mean? I don't know. I don't know if you're, if this is bogus, I don't know if it's not, but I don't quite see where there's a question here. So, other than giving her a little time to kind of feel better about things and maybe pay attention to that, I mean, this is no question. It has to be kind of bogus. Steve, 22.

16:03 Hey, what's going on? Steve. Actually, I was calling, I have a slight addiction to, well, it's not slight, I can't really call it that, but I have an addiction to Ritalin and Adderall. Previously, back in, I mean, there was a time where I was just addicted to other anti-thetamidic drugs, cocaine, methamphetamines, and I was just acting with methamphetamine in it.

16:26 Adam Well, look, you're addicted to stimulants. You're a stimulant addict. What's the question?

16:31 Well, I mean, is this really doing any, I mean, taking Ritalin as I would be taking it prescribed, would that do any, would that, now, since I haven't gone to see a doctor or anything about this, I mean, is this okay? Can I still be doing this? Should I?

16:48 Adam No, your addiction is quite active. You're on Ritalin and Adderall, was never designed to be used together, first of all. Secondly, I'm sure you're doing more of Ritalin than is generally prescribed. And even if you're not doing that way all the time, you're maintaining it and then kind of boosting it up once in a while above to get high. You're an addict, you're a drug addict, you're a stimulant addict and you're on maintenance here with the Ritalin and the Adderall. What's the plan?

17:10 Oh, I mean, I don't have insurance at this point in time. I'm not able to go see a doctor. Is there anyone I could go see?

17:17 Adam Yeah, there are county-funded beds around town. You have to go in and get detoxed and spend some time in a program and get sober. It's not going to stop by itself. By the way, you're in medicines that are less dangerous than the pure amphetamines, but the amphetamines will do damage over time. They're one of the drugs that causes something called excitotoxicity, which is basically overstimulated into the brain to the point that the brain's own chemicals get loose in the cells. They're normally little vesicles, little packets called vesicles, and they break loose inside the cell and form free radicals and destroy the cells. So we see with stimulant addicts, lots of memory problems, lots of mood disturbances, and this is for the most part permanent because of brain destruction. So here we are, you're 22, you know you've been strung out on stimulants, you're strung out again, get a county-funded bed, call around, 12-step meeting, go to a 12-step meeting, ask around where there are places you can go. There, you know, Salvation Army, go out to Santa Monica to Clare Foundation. They will take in anybody anytime. Let me talk to Steve again. Steve, Santa Monica, Clare Foundation, all right?

18:22 Caller All right, thank you.

18:23 Adam It's on Pico, just above Lincoln, just east of Lincoln, right?

18:29 Caller Thank you so much.

18:30 Adam All right, go there, good luck now. All right, here is Jennifer, 27. Jennifer?

18:36 Yes. What's up? My question is, when I have sex, I've been sexually active since I was about 18, and every probably about 10 times I have sex, I have like a horrible, horrible, throbbing pain, like in and around like my anus area, and like maybe my cervix, I'm not really sure, and it happens for like about an hour. I don't really know, you know, I don't know if that's just something that comes with having sex when hard or, you know, if it's natural or because girls are always saying how they're sore, if that's part of it or...

19:11 Adam I think you're describing...

19:12 I mean, I can't even sit down, you know.

19:14 Adam Does it feel kind of visceral like you're nauseated?

19:17 Yes, it's like everything, and it's like a throbbing horrible, horrible pain.

19:21 Adam I'm sorry. It's a little funny though. There's really a couple possibilities here. Generally, pain that doesn't have a specific cause is called Proctalgia Fugex, and it's an old term for... it's nothing. Basically, they didn't know what was going on, so they gave it a fancy name. Generally, in my experience, this kind of pain in men or women, men get it too, is a spasm of the pubococcygous muscle, which is a muscle that goes from the vagina to the anus, and it can really... it's a deep muscle. It's the one that people work out with the Kegel exercises.

19:54 Right.

19:55 Adam And it can go into a spasm. It can really feel kind of visceral and uncomfortable. The other thing... you have to ask yourself those, why is this happening?

20:03 Right.

20:03 Adam That's what needs to be investigated. You need a careful pelvic exam. Do you have some endometrial infection, line of the uterus infection, or tubal infection, or abscess, or something else? Because things fluid, like when there's inflammation, or when the ovarian cyst rupture can track down towards the anus there and cause all kinds of funny symptoms.

20:20 Caller Right. If it's just the muscle thing, is there something I can do?

20:24 Adam Not real. Well, slow down a little bit. You know what I'm saying? Just take it easy. Realize this can happen. I suppose Kegel exercise would be one way of trying to condition yourself to deal with it. But it is a visceral muscular experience, and it's not something that I've really seen any great treatments for. I knew there are physical therapists now that specialize in the pelvic musculature, so I imagine they have something, but I'm not aware what that is.

20:48 Caller Okay, thank you so much.

20:50 Adam All right, good luck.

20:51 Caller Okay, bye-bye.

20:52 Adam My goodness. Are we helping lots of people tonight, Rick? I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yes. Engineer Rick says, yeah, yeah, it's great. It's great. All right, well, let's keep going, then. One more. This is, Greg was 32. Hey, Anderson yelled, break. Anderson, I'm waiting for Rob Schneider to get here. I'm going to give him an extra five minutes, because he's driving here. He got screwed up on the freeway or something. He'll be here. Greg, what's up? 32.

21:15 Rob Schneider Dr. Greg, I was mountain biking about a year ago, and I wiped out and I crushed my scrotum. Yeah. That hurt for about an hour. I went home and I was fine. About two weeks later, I noticed I have a third ball. I got a hard lumpy mass in there, so I go to the doctor and get a radiologist to look at it.

21:39 Adam You had an ultrasound?

21:40 Rob Schneider Yeah, an ultrasound. She said it wasn't serious because it was just like a hydrocele or a varicocele.

21:49 Adam Right, which is just a swollen cyst, basically. Those are very common in guys your age.

21:55 Rob Schneider Really? Yeah.

21:56 Adam I wouldn't do anything with that.

21:58 Rob Schneider Really? Because it hurts me.

22:00 Adam Well, they can put a needle in it and see if it, you know, drain it and see if it goes away. Sounds like fun, huh? Good times, right? I wouldn't necessarily want that done. Are you sure it hurts you or are you just thinking about it, obsessing about it hurts you?

22:12 Rob Schneider Well, both.

22:13 Adam Yeah. These are usually nothing. Then they can be associated with inflammation. Then you might just try an anti-inflammatory like Motrin for four or five days.

22:23 Rob Schneider Yeah. The doctor gave me that when Vioxx was still around.

22:27 Adam Yeah. That would have been good.

22:29 Rob Schneider Gave me that and then they canceled it like a week later.

22:32 Adam Well, you can just try plain old over-the-counter Advil for a week or so, but it's usually not a big deal. You saw a urologist?

22:38 Rob Schneider No, I haven't.

22:39 Adam That'd be the one next step to do is see a urologist to make sure that there's not something from a specialist point of view that should be done, okay?

22:45 Rob Schneider Yeah. I really want to get it land.

22:48 Adam Just because you're obsessing. Listen.

22:50 Rob Schneider I am obsessing. I am.

22:52 Adam Most guys get one of these eventually, something like this. They're just cysts and that form in the test is they're exceedingly common. You're imagining it's from the trauma, which it could be. It may have already just been there.

23:02 Rob Schneider Yeah. The radiologist said that.

23:06 Adam Yeah. And so these are not a big deal. It's not like it's going to keep growing, other though sometimes they do.

23:11 Rob Schneider All right. All right.

23:12 Adam All right. We'll go see urologist, right?

23:14 Rob Schneider Thank you very much.

23:15 Adam All right, Greg. Yeah. We're helping people tonight. Rob Schneider will be our guest any minute. You know, I'm from Duis Bigelow. Most recently, Duis Bigelow, European Gigolo out on DVD Tuesday, November 29th. Our phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191. We're taking lots of calls tonight and I'll just keep blowing through calls by myself until Rob gets here. So we'll be back right after this.

23:40 Drew Loveline will be back. Glad to hear it.

23:45 Rob Schneider Loveline will be right back.

23:47 Adam It's Loveline 1-800-LOVE-191. And as promised, Rob Schneider.

23:52 Drew Let me just say right now, I'm a little late.

23:54 Caller I'll be honest with you.

23:56 Adam Really? This is late?

23:57 Drew Dr. Drew, I want to apologize to you and the listeners. But I gotta honestly say, an hour and a half of me is worth more than two hours Adam Corolla.

24:04 Adam Absolutely.

24:05 Drew Especially this late. Not early. Not three or four years ago, but now.

24:07 Adam Now, yes. The modern Rob.

24:10 Drew The hungry Adam Corolla is gone. So I'm hungrier than Adam Corolla.

24:15 Adam You're still one of our favorite guests. That last show you and I did together was one of my all-time favorites.

24:19 Drew Oh, thanks. That was a great one.

24:20 Adam So we're going to do a whole week of this together.

24:22 Drew I'm ready. Let's go. That's going to be fun. I'm excited.

24:24 Adam Loveline listeners, prepare yourself.

24:26 Drew We got a week, baby.

24:27 Adam Now you have, what do you have coming out of DVD? European Jiggle is coming out?

24:31 Drew Yeah, European Jiggle at the end of the month. And but I'm just excited about this.

24:35 Adam Then you have BenchWarmers.

24:37 Drew I got BenchWarmers.

24:37 Adam Got BenchWarmers coming up when?

24:39 Drew BenchWarmers with John Heater, you know, Napoleon Dynamite. And then with also the great David Spade, John Lovitz. Adam Sandler wrote it. It's his best script, I think.

24:46 Adam When is it coming out?

24:48 Drew Probably April.

24:49 Adam April sometime.

24:50 Drew Baseball movie.

24:51 Adam Cool. Let's take some calls. Here's Rainey, who's 26.

24:55 Caller Hey guys.

24:56 Caller Hi. Well, my question is more for Dr. Drew, really.

25:01 Adam No, no, you can ask her anything.

25:02 Drew I don't know. I mean, don't just assume that. I mean, just because I have no medical degree.

25:07 Adam And he's half hour late.

25:08 Drew And no experience, and I'm late, and I'm not Adam Corolla. Don't just assume that I don't know anything about your sexual deviant problem.

25:14 Caller If you're a professional about this, then kudos.

25:18 Drew Okay, all right, all right.

25:19 Caller So yeah, I'm 26. I've been dating this guy for about six months. He's 27, super successful. And he just came out a couple months ago and said-

25:25 Drew I'm sorry, but who is super successful at 27? Unless he's like Jim Morrison. I don't know. I find that, how is he so super successful, first of all? Your story already is lacking credence.

25:37 Caller No, no, no. Well, okay. He worked for a technology company. He just got his first Porsche. Like he's, I don't know, really smart, really like put together, really. I mean, you would have no idea, but anyway, like a couple months ago, he said that-

25:49 Drew Okay, I'm sorry. We have to stop this right now. I would have no idea. A Porsche? That means super successful? That means I'm super successful.

25:57 Caller Well, it's a step from the facade I drive.

26:00 Drew It's all right. That's all right. I know. I know. I like that you're not shallow at all. I like that so far. I like the first thing with success is not that he's spiritual, takes care of his family, he has a Porsche.

26:12 Adam I got to get it.

26:13 Caller He's very articulate.

26:14 Adam All right. What's he doing? Behind that beard, what's he doing?

26:18 Drew He seems great, by the way.

26:20 Caller Like I said, he came in a couple of months ago and said that he likes to cross dress, which at first I thought it was kind of different, kind of strange, but I actually kind of like it. We've been doing like role reversals and things like that. I guess my question is to like-

26:36 Adam Uh-oh. Does he have you wear a strap on and that kind of thing?

26:40 Caller No, no, no, no.

26:41 Caller We've actually, part of it-

26:42 Drew I just wrote down, it's funny, Dr. Drew, we're on the same wavelength. I know it's the first day of the week. I just wrote down Dildo. We just read it, didn't we?

26:49 Adam We confirm that, Dildo.

26:50 Caller No, no, I swear. Here's the worst part is that we've never actually had sex. Even when we're not doing that.

26:57 Drew So this has been six months?

26:59 Caller Yeah.

27:00 Drew Okay, can I ask?

27:01 Adam He's gay.

27:02 Drew Yeah, yeah. My thing is this. What do you base your having this relationship with this guy for six months? I mean, have you ever gone out with a guy for six months and not had sex with him?

27:10 Caller Well, that's the thing is like I love him, and respect him, and admire him, and he just says that he's not ready, I guess.

27:16 Drew Have you ever made out with him?

27:18 Caller Yeah, yeah.

27:20 Adam Randy, you're sort of deluding yourself about this guy.

27:22 Drew Yeah, this guy is as gay as gay can be. I mean, he's like a flaming, cross-dressing gay guy.

27:29 Adam I don't know that I would say that.

27:30 Caller It's not like he goes out.

27:32 Adam All right, all right.

27:33 Caller But he's like...

27:33 Drew Let's stop for a second.

27:34 Caller He's got like an alter ego. Isn't there a pause button for her?

27:37 Drew Don't we have a pause button? There's a pause button. Okay, thank God. Can I get one of those? I'm here for the week. If I was just here one night, then I would...

27:42 Caller Here, you share this blue one with me.

27:44 Drew No, wait a minute.

27:44 Adam That's the pause button, right? You got that with the tape on? Okay, good.

27:46 Drew I want to share that, because that's a power button. And I love that.

27:48 Adam Would you wish you had one of those in life?

27:51 Drew I need one, I need one. But you know what, though? She is just absolutely in unbelievable denial.

27:57 Adam Yes, but let's debate this a little second. The cross-dressing thing, the gender identity, is separate from sexual orientation.

28:05 Drew Okay.

28:05 Adam You know what I'm saying? So he may not be gay, but what I will agree with you on is that this cross-dressing thing does not exist in a vacuum. Here's what else we got to line up against this guy. He isn't sexual with this girl. Yeah.

28:17 Drew That's a biggie.

28:18 Adam He's cross-dressing, engaging, and sort of weird acting out behaviors, yet not kind of consummating the relationship. What is going on here?

28:25 Drew If he's a straight guy, I mean, if I can just talk about me for a second.

28:28 Adam Yeah.

28:28 Drew If I'm on a first date with a girl, if she lets me have sex, I will. I'm a straight guy. And that is just what straight guys do.

28:35 Adam How about if she lets you dress up and role-reverse and all that stuff? If she- Where's that going?

28:40 Drew Okay. If I wanted that and she let me do that, I think that would be okay. But that's saying to me-

28:45 Adam Think about what that would mean about having sex or not having sex. If she let you do all that, you'd be on to other things very quickly, yes?

28:53 Drew Yeah. I mean, I don't know what you mean. What do you mean by that?

28:56 Adam I'm saying if she went so far as to act out sexual fantasies with you, she's cross-dressing and role-reversing and all that stuff, and then you don't have sex?

29:04 Drew Yeah, that's weird.

29:05 Adam Is that even like-

29:05 Drew Yeah, I need an ending. I need something. I need a payoff.

29:08 Adam I wonder if he's having a payoff, but just not-

29:10 Drew But yeah, I think he is when he leaves her, I think.

29:14 Adam We're bringing her back. No, there was a discussion.

29:19 Caller Yeah, I heard the discussion. I don't think so, just because he says that he's not ready and that he-

29:25 Drew Okay, all right. There's no- Let me just tell you this. What's your name again? I'm sorry?

29:28 Caller Rainey.

29:28 Drew It's my first. Randy? Brandy? What is it?

29:30 Caller Rainey.

29:31 Adam Like Rainey didn't-

29:31 Drew Same thing. Same thing.

29:32 Adam How have your previous relationships been?

29:37 Caller Pretty standard, pretty normal. All right.

29:38 Drew Now let me just tell you, any straight guy, okay, even if he's slightly not so straight, like a guy who cross-dresses, okay, he's less than straight, but more straight, any guy is gonna want to have the sex or at one time with you and to not wait six months, that's just odd. And it's more odd, and it's also kind of saying something about you that you are putting up with that or something. Maybe you had some bad experiences in your relationship with guys and this is safer. I don't know. Maybe. I know it's my first day of the week. I'm guest hosting for a week and it's my first day. I know it's early. It's the first call. I know I'm putting a lot of pressure on you.

30:12 Adam But that's what I was exploring too. You sound like somebody who's had sort of bad choices, been sort of maybe disappointed with men. And here's the guy that's telling you all the right things. He loves you so much. He's not ready to contemplate.

30:23 Drew I'm not ready. He's never going to be ready.

30:25 Adam In the meantime, he's doing bizarre things with you and taking you down a path that's sort of peculiar. I promise you mean something else. I don't know what, but something. And so that needs to be explored with him. Why can't we have sexual relationships?

30:38 Drew Have you ever talked about it? Do you want it with him? Do you want it with him?

30:42 Caller Well, I mean, of course I would love to have sex with him, but he's only been with one girl his whole life.

30:50 Drew His mother. Mommy!

30:52 Adam And what happened with that?

30:54 Caller They were together for like eight years and then they broke up. It's been like a year and a half, but he says that sex is really important to him and that since he has only been with one girl that he wants it to be, you know, to be, it sounds so...

31:06 Adam But in the meantime, he includes you in a cross-dressing sort of ritual.

31:10 Drew Yeah, yeah, I'm missing out on the equation.

31:12 Caller He's more, like he's more sexual when he's in that mode.

31:16 Drew Okay, okay, you know what I'm thinking?

31:17 Adam He needs a fetish.

31:18 Drew Maybe, I don't know if it's a fetish. I think there's a gay thing here. I think, have you asked him if he's had sex with men?

31:23 Caller Well, I've asked him, you know, if... He says no, like he wants nothing to do. Like, I've even offered to...

31:29 Drew Have you asked him if it's sober or drinking with men?

31:33 Caller I've offered to take him to gay bars just to like, even for my own peace of mind, to like see him in that environment, to see if maybe, you know...

31:41 Adam So you've thought about this, right?

31:43 Drew You kind of figured this out. You know what's happening here. You know what, let me tell you something. Rainy, Randy, Brandy, whatever your name is.

31:48 Adam Rainy.

31:49 Drew Rainy. Rainy?

31:50 Adam Rainy.

31:52 Drew You gotta find a normal guy. If this was Adam Corolla, can I do my Adam Corolla? You gotta find a normal guy who wants to have sex with you and is crazed about it and is willing to wait all night on a date and get home to have sex with you. That's what a normal guy does. This guy who cross-dresses doesn't have sex here for six months. The fact that you don't, that you're putting up with it, not going out with the guy who wants to bone you, is saying something about you. That's what Adam Carolla said.

32:21 Adam And it's also, he would also say that these things don't exist in a vacuum. That when this cross-dressing, the smoke, this fire, there's something else going on here about his relationships, about himself emotionally, and that's eventually going to come to bear.

32:32 Drew See another guy. There are other guys out there.

32:34 Adam That's for Associates Rob Schneider. Anna 24.

32:37 Caller That sounded a little more like Jack Nicholson to me.

32:39 Adam It did, but I preferred it. Anna 24.

32:44 Rob Schneider Anna?

32:45 Adam Hello? There you are.

32:46 Drew Hi sweetheart.

32:48 Caller Hi.

32:49 Drew What's going on?

32:51 Caller I feel self-conscious about the tightness of my vagina. Or rather, the looseness.

32:59 Adam Have you had children?

33:00 Drew The looseness? What about it? The tightness? All I'm saying is you don't feel you're tight enough.

33:05 Adam And you've never had a baby?

33:07 Caller No.

33:08 Adam Well, I don't think there's any such thing.

33:10 Drew So what makes you assume that it's not as tight as you want it to be?

33:16 Caller I guess it's because of the length of time that it takes my partner to get it on.

33:22 Adam That has nothing, nothing, nothing to do with it. You're fat. Each guy has his own clock. Some guys it's about 30 seconds, some guys it's about 30 minutes.

33:33 Drew It's not taking two hours, is it? No, no. So you're the first one who's complained about like, he takes too long.

33:40 Adam Oh no, we get that all the time.

33:41 Drew You do get that all the time?

33:41 Adam Yeah, they don't, this whole notion that women want people, guys to go forever, most of them in ten minutes max.

33:46 Drew Okay.

33:47 Adam And here's the deal, what we have heard complaints about is that too much lubrication. So moist that you don't feel anything.

33:53 Drew That's never a problem. I don't know what guys are complaining about that, unless he's a cross-dresser going out with that rainy girl. I'm sorry, so you're thinking that there's something wrong with you.

34:04 Caller Well, sometimes it's the case of too much lubrication and sometimes it just seems like there's too much space there.

34:13 Drew Are you sleeping with an 80-year-old guy?

34:15 Adam Does the guy have a small penis?

34:16 Caller No. Well, I mean, there have been one or two with small penises, but that hasn't been the case before.

34:23 Adam Rob, back me up on this. A woman does not have a baby.

34:30 Drew Yeah.

34:31 Adam Nulliparous, we call that. They've not had a baby. Do you think there could be such a thing as a vagina that's not tight enough?

34:37 Drew Impossible in the history of humanity.

34:39 Adam I think that's probably correct.

34:40 Drew So I would say that, don't worry about that.

34:42 Adam I think there could be too much lubrication, and there can be guys that take a long time to go.

34:46 Drew You know what else could be a good thing there, Little Miss 24? Anna. Anna from 24. I got to say that right in the stuff. Anna, you guys should have a little more foreplay. You know, don't just, maybe just go right for that. Do you guys have some foreplay? You enjoy that?

35:03 Rob Schneider Yeah. Yeah?

35:05 Drew I mean, how long is the duration there?

35:07 Caller Um, it really doesn't depend on how much foreplay there is. Sometimes there's a lot, sometimes there isn't.

35:14 Adam Well, maybe the foreplay needs to be directed to his genitalia, you know what I'm saying?

35:17 Caller Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

35:19 Drew I like to throw in the word bitch too, when I say that. I like, sometimes you gotta direct that bitch, you know, get that, get that attention where it's needed.

35:28 You know what I'm saying? You got to show the man some respect.

35:33 Caller I do that too.

35:34 Drew All right, all right. Anna, let me tell you what. You, I put your, I would put this-

35:40 Adam Declare it not a problem.

35:41 Drew Yeah, I would put this as a quality problem, not a real problem. Like, this is a good problem that you guys will work out because you love each other and blah, blah, blah. Just have him be more, tell him to be more, you know.

35:52 Adam Tell him to take care of himself a little bit before he goes.

35:54 Drew Yeah, tell him to, hey, get, say, froth it and get it going good and then come see me. Right. Get it, get it in the car on the way up there in the driveway, get working on it, and then come in to see me.

36:03 Adam Guys have a certain responsibility to take care of their own momentum, whether it's too fast or too slow, whatever it is, they need to kind of work it out themselves, you know what I mean?

36:11 Drew And if you love the guy and if you're into him, then you guys kind of work something out. But this is not a real problem.

36:15 Adam Brian 28.

36:16 Drew Trust me. Brian 28, let's hear from a guy.

36:20 Rob Schneider I just wanted to see what they could do for fishers.

36:23 Drew Fishers? Yeah, what can we do for fishers? I'm sorry, are you calling a fishing show? This is Loveline. What do you need help with there?

36:32 Caller I got fishers.

36:33 Adam Anal fishers?

36:35 Rob Schneider Correct.

36:37 Adam Do you have like inflammatory bowel disease?

36:41 Caller I don't know. I just been told that I had it.

36:44 Adam You don't have Crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis, anything like that? No.

36:49 Caller I was just told by a doctor that I did it.

36:53 Adam I understand you have them. I'm trying to understand why you have them.

36:56 Drew Well, my listeners and your co-host, what these fishers are right now.

37:01 Adam Oh, fishers are, let me just put them on hold. Put them on hold with the blue, the blue button.

37:04 Drew I use the blue button for the first time.

37:05 Adam Well done.

37:06 Drew First show.

37:06 Adam Brian, you should mark a distinction, Brian. You may have fishers, but you were the first man to be put on hold by a drop sniper.

37:11 Drew Let's check that time, okay.

37:12 Adam 1800LOVE191. Fishers are basically, like, you know you can get cracks in the corner of your mouth kind of thing, but these are deep, infected and inflamed cracks, crevices in the anal area. Got it?

37:26 Drew Okay, I'm with you now.

37:27 Adam Okay, so Brian, how'd you get these things?

37:30 Caller My girlfriend used to dildo on me.

37:33 Adam One time and you got recurrent fishers after that? Or you had fishers immediately after that and that was that?

37:39 Rob Schneider Immediately after.

37:40 Liar, liar whore, liar whore, you know it!

37:44 Adam Whatever.

37:46 Drew Wouldn't it heal up after a while there?

37:48 Adam Yeah, absolutely. They tend not to recur when they're caused by trauma like that, though. If you're repeatedly traumatizing, they can. And the anti-inflammatory creams, they're basically treated the same way.

37:56 Drew Yeah, I don't believe that guy, because unless he's getting up in the morning and using a pogo stick the wrong way.

38:00 Adam Thank you. They're basically treated the same way as hemorrhoids, basically. So the great Rob Schneider is in here with us tonight.

38:06 Drew It's going good so far, I gotta be honest.

38:08 Adam There's no way it could go with you. Deuce Bigelow, European Gigolo, coming out on DVD Tuesday, November 29th. Rob Schneider is going to be with us all night and all week. The phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191. We'll take a little break. Great Rob Schneider here on Loveline.

38:32 Drew Hi Dr. Drew man.

38:33 Adam Love-191. Here's a question for Rob. We'll get right to it. Nikki, who is 18. Nikki.

38:38 Caller Hello?

38:39 Adam Hey Nikki.

38:39 Drew Hi Nikki.

38:40 Caller Oh my gosh, hi.

38:41 Caller Hi.

38:43 Adam What is happening?

38:44 Caller Hi Nikki.

38:45 Caller I have two questions. One for Rob.

38:49 Caller I want to be an actress when I grow up, like when I'm older.

38:52 Caller Like I'm planning on going to New York acting.

38:56 Drew Anybody can do it. Yeah, anybody.

38:58 Caller Yeah, when, like how do you start out?

38:59 Adam I guess everybody that wants to become an actor becomes super successful.

39:02 Drew Everyone.

39:02 Adam Everybody.

39:03 Drew Not one doesn't make it. So good luck. Thank you.

39:07 Adam What's the other question?

39:09 Caller I was wondering like, what was your like first major big break?

39:13 Adam Had to get started.

39:14 Drew Wow. Well, let me tell you, you know, as a performer, the most as an actor, the more important thing is to act. If you're a writer, you got to write. If you're a comedian, you got to find a place to do comedy. You got to commied. You got to commied somewhere. So, you know, for a bus driver, you got to drive a bus. You know, but the main thing is it's 50,000 actors in LA and about roles for maybe 1500 of them. So, you know, you're going to make it no matter what.

39:37 Adam And about 12 of them that are worth a damn.

39:38 Drew But I would tell you, yeah, exactly. You know, I remember Jerry Seinfeld saying, hey, 1975, there were 40 comedians and eight of them were good. 1985, there were 4,000 comedians and eight of them were good, you know.

39:48 Adam I'm not even saying 12 of the actors are good. I'm saying 12 of the roles that are good.

39:51 Drew Well, that's right. But there is, you know, you just have to, I mean, I would suggest, you know, go to college and get on stage. You need to get on stage and experience something. Nothing's going to happen in between now and four years. So I would get in there.

40:03 Adam Let me ask this, wouldn't you advise people to get a very thorough education first for two reasons. One is you really can't play smart. You know, people are either, they're either smart and people, you know, people who are smart get better, more jobs generally.

40:16 Drew I think so, too.

40:16 Adam And in whatever field you're in, smart people, people like to hire smart people. They tend to be more reliable. They tend to be more interesting. And secondly, if the acting doesn't work, at least you've got, you're educated. At least you've got something to fall back on.

40:27 Drew Yeah. And one other element I'd put to is that then you'd be more likely or more capable of creating your own stuff. I mean, honestly, if I didn't write my own stuff, if Adam Sandler didn't write his own projects, you know, I mean, that's how we got things going. You know, I mean, you have to write your own things. If I wasn't writing my own movie right now, I probably would have a tougher time getting my next job. So you're just gonna make your own thing happen.

40:47 Adam You're waiting for something to happen.

40:48 Drew Yeah, waiting for that phone call. I know they'll discover me. I work at Sears and I'm in the Automotive Department. They're gonna find me because I'm awesome, you know? No one's gonna find you. You have to go. But I would suggest going to school, get into a junior college if you don't have the grades to get in college, get into the university that has a good drama department, and just do that. I mean, you know, whether I, and I've worked with Charlton Heston, he went to Northwestern, I work with other people. You go to school and then you get on stage and you're getting on stage with people your own age and blah, blah, blah, and that's the way to do it. There's no mirror, there's no fast way to do it. You can move to New York, get into an acting class. I'd say go to college.

41:20 Adam Okay, Nikki?

41:21 Caller Yeah, thank you.

41:23 Drew I started as a drug dealer. I would go around to different famous producers and sell them drugs and say, put me in the movie, I'll give you free drugs.

41:29 Adam But the real kicker was you'd have sex with them too. Eric's 23.

41:34 Rob Schneider Hi, Eric.

41:36 Adam Eric.

41:36 Rob Schneider Hi, Eric.

41:37 Adam Hi.

41:38 Drew What's going on there, pal?

41:43 I did it with a girl since January of this year, and every time we would have sex, right after sex for the next couple of days, my penis will be very irritated, especially my foreskin because I'm circumcised. Yeah. Now, starting in July or so, my foreskin would actually start getting little cuts. It wasn't...

42:05 Adam Right...

42:06 .anymore. It was like little cuts all over.

42:07 Adam Right, right. Now, that's possibly herpes, but also there can be traumatic tearing like that, and then if it is traumatic, meaning from the sort of act of sex, it will start to scar down and narrow, so the foreskin will sort of close over the head of the penis.

42:20 Drew Excuse me. Let me just throw up here.

42:22 Adam Oh, good God.

42:24 Drew Hey, listen, Eric23, you know they got these new things now called condoms.

42:28 Adam Well, not even, yes, great point, but is that what-

42:30 Drew Wear a condom. Do you like, are you still seeing this girl?

42:33 Uh, no, not, not.

42:34 Drew You weren't wearing a condom, were you?

42:36 No, I wasn't.

42:37 Drew Let me tell you, Dennis Miller had a funny old joke. And he said, in my regular life, I wear four condoms. When I go to have sex, I take two off, I feel like a wild man. So, you know, wear a condom, and that sounds like you could have, you know, gotten something.

42:53 Adam Could be herpes. Could be herpes. But secondly, are you getting that scarring and narrowing?

42:56 Drew You could have gotten vitamin H.

42:57 Right now, just like you said, for a while, I couldn't even, you know, peel the skin. But now, all the wounds are gone and everything, but now I have scar tissue around the foreskin.

43:09 Adam Right, so it narrows it, so it's hard to get the head of the penis out.

43:13 I don't have that problem with it anymore, but like when I peel it, so to speak, the foreskin, it's kind of rough, you know?

43:23 Drew Could you do me a favor and take some pictures of it and email it to me so that I can see it? Because sometimes I like to vomit after I have breakfast. If you can email me, you know, and get some really good ones, I mean professionally done, and then email them to us at Loveline.

43:36 You can't really see anything, but if you touch it, you can feel where the little cut is.

43:41 Drew Yeah, yeah. You know, can you bring it by so we can feel it?

43:44 Adam All right, here's the deal, Eric. That's a common reason that people get circumcisions as adults, is that having the foreskin there can eventually cause scarring in there. It's called stenosis. And it really can tear further and scar further.

43:56 Drew Eric, you can actually have it removed and then keep it and make it part of your wallet.

43:59 Adam Or bury it in the background.

44:00 Drew Yeah, you can have a ceremony with all your friends and say this is a piece of my penis and getting rid of it. I'm getting, you can have a getting rid of a piece of my penis party. I've had one. And let me just, you can actually have that thing removed. But it sounds to me like you got something else there.

44:14 Adam Some slubber is telling me they had a breast. No, no, it's stenosis and it's why a lot of people, men get, yeah, you're right.

44:21 Drew You don't have to convert either.

44:22 Adam I hear it could have been herpes that started all this, but maybe not. It's just a traumatic thing that can happen. It's a common reason why men need to get circumcision as adults. And it's a reason, yet another reason why circumcision should be done earlier in life because there's all kinds of things that happen that are unnecessary. But it's been well shown now it can reduce the risk of HPV, reduce the risk of cervical cancer in women just having had a circumcision. I don't remember if we had some celebrity up here who said that his kid had a bris and they buried the foreskin outside and the dog dug it up and brought it back in during the party. I wish I could remember who that was.

44:54 Drew That's a good one.

44:55 Adam During the break, I'll ask Ann about that.

44:56 Drew We'll find out. But yeah, go get at that thing taking off.

44:59 Adam All right. Rob Schneider is our guest in here tonight. He's with us all week from 51st Dates, all the Deuce Bigelow Films. Are there more Deuce Bigelow Films coming?

45:07 Drew I'm going to go skip to part four.

45:09 Adam I'm going to skip to part three. The last one did good, yes?

45:12 Drew The last one, yeah, yeah. We're doing all right. The video is going to come out. Hopefully, DVD, all right, make some money, pay off the house, you know what I mean?

45:18 Adam We'll be back after this. That's right, it's Love Line, 1-800-LOV. The one and only Rob Schneider in with us tonight.

45:41 Drew Thank you, Dr. Drew, man. That was huge, man. Huge, man. Huge, huge.

45:45 Adam So you were just telling me you toured the world for European Gigolo.

45:47 Drew Yeah, I just was in Australia, and I ended up spending a few weeks in Rio de Janeiro, Brasil.

45:55 Adam Is that your first time around the world? I remember, you know something, I gotta tell you something. I remember when you had just come off your tour for Animal.

46:01 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah.

46:02 Adam And you went, oh my god, films have a huge, you know, impact.

46:05 Drew Yeah, I mean, it's incredible. I mean, people who come up to you from all over the world. From Taiwan, or Ecuador. My movie gets to get released in Ecuador and Belarus, Bulgaria, you know, and Latvia. I mean, it's Estonia.

46:17 Rob Schneider And you had to go to all those countries?

46:18 Drew Well, I didn't go to the little ones, but at this time I decided to go to... Somebody invited me to go to this place where they only have 18 theaters, is in Iceland. There's only 280,000 people in the whole country. There's more people that live in like a third of Santa Monica. Wow. And it was beautiful, an incredibly beautiful place. I mean, they have these volcanoes that heat the whole island up. It's freezing. It's at 66 degrees latitude. So it's... or I'm talking... Longitude? Longitude. 66 degrees. So it's freezing. And I was there in August and it was absolutely freezing, but beautiful. They have these hot springs where you can go in there. They call it Blue Lagoon and it's blue because of the silt and the stuff that's coming out of there. And it really is like neon, like a crazy blue, like a radioactive blue. And the thing is they just recently made it safer. They have the bottom because if you swim away, there's like a little rope and this is danger. And then people are like, oh, danger, whatever. If you swim on the other side of that, then it's unprotected and you could have a hot, you know...

47:15 Adam Lava?

47:16 Drew Lava, water coming up from heat, superheated, and it just burns people instantly to death.

47:20 Adam Oh my God.

47:21 Drew And you're swimming, you know, 50 feet from that.

47:23 Adam So, death is so close. How many of that did you witness?

47:26 Drew Well, we didn't see anybody die this time, but I did like swim around that area and go, death is right over there.

47:31 Adam Did you ever imagine you'd be sort of, you grew up to tour the world like that?

47:34 Drew No, it is wild. It is amazing. You know, I just hope that, you know, to be able to make some more movies that'll be fun and have an impact for, you know, like South America is incredible. Brazil is a fantastic country. And I got to meet and see different filmmakers down there. Like the guy who did City of God. He just did this other film, The Constant Gardener. It's a great film. It was an amazing filmmaker. And it just makes me realize, God, you can do so much more with movies because they made City of God for the price of my movies cater. So now I'm gonna jump into the independent film where it makes it more interesting.

48:09 Adam And do it in other countries?

48:11 Drew Yeah, yeah. I mean, I wanna go and make a film in another country. Like, there's a guy called me in Moscow to do a film. And I'm gonna-

48:17 Adam Comedy still or no?

48:18 Drew You know, it's a dramatic film. I'm just gonna do it.

48:21 Adam You direct it, write it, act in it, or all of that?

48:23 Drew Just what I'm just gonna act in. But this next, I'm also gonna direct the film. The next thing I'm doing is called Big Stan. And it's a comedy that this guy Josh Liebro, who writes for the Simpsons, he's a genius. And he wrote this crazy comedy about a guy who goes to prison, is afraid what's gonna happen to him when he gets in there.

48:36 Adam Oh, I gotta have a role in this. I gotta be some dirty, drugged out, nut job. Please let me do it.

48:42 Drew I'll make you part of the Nazi gang.

48:43 Adam That's something I've always wanted to do, is to play a counter character. Say something completely, completely out of character for me.

48:49 Drew But I'm gonna direct that.

48:50 Adam To make a point. If you're making a point with those characters, about what those people really are.

48:54 Drew Well, this is gonna be, it's an exaggerated, kind of fun movie, but basically, it's a guy who's gotta be trained to make himself tough before he goes into prison. And it's really funny and ridiculous. And it's, I'm gonna direct it and it's gonna be fun. We're doing it for the price of like, nothing.

49:08 Adam Where you gonna do it?

49:09 Drew I think that one we're gonna shoot here in LA.

49:11 Adam Oh, it's still gonna cost nothing.

49:13 Drew That way I can come in and still do Loveline.

49:14 Adam All right, there you go. Let's take some calls. Just get warmed up. Claudia, 22.

49:18 Caller Yes, hi. Hi, Dr. Drew.

49:20 Adam Claudia.

49:21 Caller Hi, Rob.

49:21 Adam Hi.

49:22 Caller Hi, I just wanted to ask if, I know you have some Filipino heritage and stuff. I just wanted to know if you speak Tagalog and stuff. I think it's pretty cool, you know, how like you always incorporate like your friends in your movies and stuff.

49:38 Drew Well, thank you. Well, my mom is from Baguio.

49:40 Adam Well, Claudia's building to here is that you'll also incorporate your brethren in the films and maybe offer other Filipinos a role, too.

49:46 Drew I actually would like to do that more. You know, I love, my Filipino relatives are so nice. You know, I used to go to my relatives' house. I had to be careful to say if I like something at the point of the wall.

49:57 Adam You like that?

49:58 Drew They take it off the wall. You like that? OK, let me take it off the wall. I'll give it to you.

50:01 Adam Wow.

50:01 Drew They're really nice people, beautiful people. So I don't know, my mom's from Baguio. Do you know where Baguio is?

50:06 Caller Yeah, I think it's like the coldest place in the Philippines.

50:09 Drew Yeah, that's why I like it.

50:10 Adam 98 degrees.

50:11 Drew Yeah, yeah, it's in the low 90s, so it's OK. But it's a beautiful place and the great food and people are nice. Little dangerous there now.

50:18 Adam Do you speak the tongue?

50:19 Drew I speak, I know my mom's swearing at me.

50:21 Adam Go ahead, how does she swear?

50:23 Drew That's about it.

50:24 Adam It's bababouille, Claudia.

50:26 Drew Pastous.

50:26 Caller That's so funny, that means pig, like, like, rude pig or something.

50:30 Drew Yeah, nasty pig. Bad pig.

50:33 Caller Well, I just wanted to say you're really cool.

50:35 Drew Well, thank you. Salamat.

50:37 Caller Yeah, oh, thank you. I don't get flashback, but, you know, I think you and Adam are, like, the most hilarious guys on the planet.

50:44 Drew Well, thank you. You're very kind.

50:47 Caller OK.

50:47 Drew If you don't have a sexual problem, we really have to go.

50:49 Adam We'll take one other for Rob. Stephen, 16.

50:53 Yeah.

50:54 Caller Hi. This is a question for Rob.

50:56 Adam What's up? There he is.

50:57 Caller I was just wondering, like, what made you continue to go on with your next movie of European Jiggle?

51:04 Adam Oh, boy, that's a good question. What made you what?

51:06 Drew What made me want to do it?

51:08 Caller Yeah.

51:08 Drew Well, I, you know, everywhere I went around the world, people kept asking me about it, and I said, well, if I make this one, maybe they won't ask me anymore. So that was basically why I did it. And I actually, when I was overseas, was visiting some troops over in actually Yugoslavia, the former Yugoslavia in Kosovo. And these guys were actually on the front.

51:29 Adam American troops?

51:30 Drew American troops and British troops and some guys from Denmark or whatever. And it's an international force over there. And they actually, 15 hours on the line with machine guns and then seven days a week. And then when they go back to the barracks, all they want is watch comedy movies. And I finally said, you know what? You're right. I'm going to write one. So I did. And that was why.

51:46 Adam That's a cool story, right?

51:48 Rob Schneider Yeah.

51:49 Drew Thank you, Stephen.

51:50 Adam Did you like the film?

51:51 Caller Yeah, it was pretty good.

51:53 Drew Thanks, man.

51:53 Caller I think I liked the first one better.

51:55 I don't know.

51:56 Drew I think I did, too.

51:56 Adam Do you wish you'd write more?

52:00 No.

52:01 Drew Yeah, me too. I'm done.

52:03 Adam What? F is the matter with Loveline Callers. All you had to do is go, yeah, I can't wait. Can't wait.

52:08 Drew No, it's okay.

52:09 Adam How often do you get to talk to Rob Schneider, Stephen? For God sakes. And by the way, he already said he was going ahead and doing the fourth version, skipping the third, going for the fourth.

52:17 Drew But that's okay. Stephen's got it right to his opinion. I love him.

52:19 Adam Yeah.

52:20 Drew But I love him.

52:21 Caller I also just want to say, I mean, just as long as I've heard, Rob is one of the best co-hosts after Adam has left.

52:29 Adam Thank you. Thank you, Stephen. Thank you.

52:31 Drew Nice save. Nice save.

52:33 Adam Well done. Well done.

52:35 Drew It's like a guy who comes in the ninth inning and he's got the two-run lead and he leaves the bases low and gives up one round but still wins the game. Technically a save.

52:45 Adam Sammy, 14.

52:46 Caller Hey.

52:47 Adam Hey, Sammy.

52:48 Caller Hi. Oh my gosh. I made it through.

52:50 Drew You did?

52:51 Caller Yeah.

52:52 Drew What's going on, Sammy?

52:53 Caller Oh, good. Hey, Rob.

52:55 Drew Hi. All right. This is going great so far.

52:58 Adam I like the way she says, hey, Rob, like she just walked in for a Christmas dinner. Hey, Rob.

53:02 Drew What are you guys doing? Hi.

53:04 Caller What's happening over there?

53:05 Drew Guys, you got a radio sound?

53:07 Adam What's up, Sammy?

53:08 Caller Okay. I'm a gymnast and the other day at practice, I crouched the beam and I was bleeding a lot.

53:15 Drew Okay.

53:16 Adam Did you tear anything that you could see?

53:19 Caller I don't think so.

53:20 Adam Are you menstruating normally at this point in your life? When is your period due?

53:26 Caller In about seven or eight days.

53:29 Adam So it's a little bit early to start bleeding?

53:31 Caller Yeah.

53:32 Drew Are you feeling okay? Just a little sore, huh?

53:34 Caller Yes. Yeah.

53:36 Adam Have you ever had a pelvic exam?

53:38 Caller No.

53:40 Adam You want to talk to a doctor, okay? I don't necessarily think that they may have to examine the outside area a little bit.

53:47 Drew I think you're all right, Sammy.

53:48 Adam I think you are too, but I want to just see how comfortable you are. Do you feel okay going up on stirrups and having somebody looking around that area? Would that be tough for you?

53:56 Caller That would be a little tough for me.

53:58 Adam Still, I'd be irresponsible for me to say just let it go. I think you probably can. I think it's no big deal, but I do think you ought to talk to your doctor, or at least a doctor out there.

54:08 Drew Or your coach, frankly.

54:10 Adam And your coach too, absolutely.

54:11 Drew Talk to your coach, see what you're coaching, because there's a lot of jokes that I can probably say right now, but you're 14 and I'll let this go.

54:17 Adam Did you talk to your coach?

54:20 Drew No.

54:21 Adam Why don't we agree that's where you're going to go first?

54:23 Drew Let's talk to your coach. Let me say one other suggestion.

54:27 Adam Okay.

54:27 Drew You live with your mom?

54:29 Caller Yeah.

54:30 Drew Okay. I'll go to your mom.

54:31 Adam Tell her too. Wake her up. But I would tell the coach too, because God knows they have experience with this.

54:35 Drew Yeah. Absolutely. Because you're not the first person that's ever done that.

54:38 Adam Right. There we go.

54:39 Drew So you'll be all right, I think. But talk to your coach. Talk to your mom.

54:42 Adam Wake her up. Brendan, 25.

54:44 Dr. Drew, how you doing today?

54:46 Adam We're good. What's happening?

54:47 Drew Did you crash the beam?

54:48 Adam Great. Rob Schneider.

54:49 Drew Hello, sir.

54:51 Adam Dr. Drew, here for all your gymnastic injury problems.

54:53 Drew What is your gymnastic accident? What happened?

54:55 I used to live up the street from you, Dr. Drew. I used to live on-

54:58 Drew Hey, yeah, yeah.

54:59 Whoa, whoa, whoa.

54:59 Drew Don't give it away.

55:00 Adam Well, now, in Pasadena?

55:02 Yeah, I used to live on Maricopa Drive and I saw you a couple of times down the street and I was like, oh, well, it's Dr. Drew.

55:08 Adam That's where I live.

55:09 Yeah, and Rob, I served you twice at El Cholo in Pasadena. I served your table twice as you and your wife. Last time I served you guys, I was like, who cares?

55:20 Adam I like El Cholo.

55:22 Drew El Cholo's good, man. It's good. It's actually, I can't go there that often because I'd have to continue to get bigger pants. I know, me too. I'm at the end of my fat pants.

55:32 Adam But what's that? What's that? Is it machaca? What's the thing with eggs and meat?

55:36 It was some machaca.

55:37 Drew Yeah, that's good.

55:38 Adam That's good there.

55:39 Drew I love the, honestly, the guacamole is really good there because they make it right in front of you. We want to prove to you how fresh this is.

55:44 Rob Schneider We're going to make it in your lap.

55:46 Drew We're going to make it on your wife's hair.

55:48 Caller That's the place that invented nachos.

55:50 Yeah.

55:51 Drew Really?

55:52 Adam Is that true?

55:53 You got to come by again, Rob, it means a lot to me.

55:56 Adam Rob and I will come together. We're coming together. We're going to have a meeting there.

55:58 Drew I'm sober these days, so I'm trying to be sober. Not that I'm an alcoholic.

56:03 Adam Yeah, buddy.

56:04 I have a question. In about ten days, it's going to be the year marking of my fiance passing away. She passed away last year on the 23rd of November. From what? She was killed in a car accident. She was visiting her family. And I'm pretty much like, the pain's subsided, but it still kind of bothers me to this day.

56:25 Adam Oh my god, yes.

56:26 I was wondering, as a doctor, I've been seeing a therapist who has an MFCC license.

56:32 Adam Yes.

56:32 But how long would you know is the time frame for me to completely, I can't think of.

56:38 Drew Let me tell you, how long were you guys together?

56:41 Five years.

56:42 Drew All right, I'm just going to throw some out at you, all right? Okay, my dad passed away five years ago, and it took me two years to get to start to not let it bring me down every day. It takes two years, honestly. And you know what, the main thing is that you're talking about that and whatever, it's the healing process, just takes its time. The main thing is you cannot, there's no time frame, whether Dr. Drew says something or I say something or your doctor says something, you're going to have to be the one. But as long as you're doing something positive with your life and doing some things, then it's going to be that healing process that's going to happen. Stay busy, stay doing what you love, stay around your loved ones, and that's the best course.

57:18 Adam I agree with all that, and I would just add a couple little sort of guidelines.

57:22 Drew No, no, no. It's my first day.

57:25 Adam But I agree with all of it, is that after six months, if you're still overcome with grief, in other words, if it's affecting your functioning, if you're having flashbacks, if you're having trouble sleeping, if you're aware that you're getting depressed, having panic attacks, that's the time to kind of look into it. But in fact, you may wake up every day with a pit in your stomach, as Rob is saying, for two years, that can happen. And some people who live spouses, who have spouses of 20 and 30 years who die, don't ever get over it.

57:54 Drew Yeah, that's true.

57:56 Adam It never completely goes away. So it's normal. The point is, what's normal, what's abnormal? It's not normal to have trouble functioning six months later.

58:03 Drew But you're going to work, though. You're going to work, you're living your life, and that's the best thing you can do.

58:07 Adam Serving Robert El Cholo. What a horrible thing. Have you been able to go ahead and have relationships?

58:13 I tried to, and all my friends think that it's a little bit too fast for me to jump to go out and do it.

58:19 Adam No, no, no.

58:20 Drew That's not what your friends think. Let me tell you this, a couple of things.

58:23 I understand what you mean. I mean, obviously, I'm like a-

58:25 Drew But you can't go by what your friends think. If you think you're ready, then it's ready. I remember there's somebody who, a friend of the family who's passed away, and then the husband of like, I mean it was 40 years. Like literally a month later, is dating somebody else.

58:40 Adam You know what?

58:41 Drew Yeah, a month later.

58:42 Adam He was out of that relationship 30 years ago.

58:45 Drew Maybe, or maybe he just, you know, you can't judge it. But anyway, the thing is-

58:49 Adam Can't judge.

58:49 Drew Yeah, you can't. It's just everyone has a different thing, and you know, unless he killed her, you know, we should probably look into it. But the thing is, no, no, honestly-

58:56 Adam Is he a Schneider? I'm just saying.

58:59 Drew No, I don't know about relative. You know, the thing is, honestly, you got to- When someone has passed away, and this may sound cold or whatever, women kind of find that attractive. You know, it's like they want to sympathize with you.

59:11 Adam Sometimes.

59:11 Rob Schneider That's cold, man. That's cold.

59:13 Drew I'm saying it's cold. I'm saying it's cold. I'm just saying it's out there. You can use some of that. Okay? I'm just saying sympathetic. And that's a real one. I know it's a painful thing, but you should seriously-

59:22 Adam Well, I think you may not want to have a relationship, but you certainly should be-

59:25 Drew You should see some other women.

59:26 Adam Yeah, you should be using your free time productively. You know what I mean?

59:31 Drew But you don't have to mean, like, honestly, let me tell you what the rabbi said. That they said, you can't-

59:36 Adam This could get bad.

59:37 Drew Yeah, you can't, it's mourning the person the rest of your life is not an honor to the person, you know? So that was important. And then he said a lot of other stuff, frankly, it was just completely insane.

59:47 Adam Yeah, Brennan.

59:48 My cousin, Luis, he used to work with you at Laster Scintas Hospital.

59:51 Drew Not right, not right, not right, not right, not right.

59:53 He says hello.

59:54 Adam All right, say hi back for Brennan, appreciate that.

59:56 Drew Thank you, okay. Hey, the thing is though, seriously, you can actually use that experience to get laid, or lie about it, actually, and say that somebody that you're with passed away. It's just advice. That's not all gonna be good advice is we got to draw. I'm gonna tell you that right now.

1:00:11 Adam Well, this is a good example. This is Dave's 29th. Dave! What's up?

1:00:17 Rob Schneider Hello?

1:00:17 Drew Dave!

1:00:18 Adam What's going on, Dave?

1:00:19 Rob Schneider Rob.

1:00:20 Drew I love that pause. What's that?

1:00:22 That's horrible advice.

1:00:24 Drew All right, I'm just saying you could use it. I'm not saying to use it. I'm just saying you could use it.

1:00:28 Caller Yeah, I've actually done that. That's how I got my wife.

1:00:29 Drew All right, all right, I know what you're saying. Well, that was in the movie Animal House.

1:00:32 Adam You got what?

1:00:34 Drew What's your situation, Dave, 29?

1:00:36 Caller That's how I got my wife.

1:00:38 Drew Oh, okay. Okay, so what's going on with you, man?

1:00:40 Adam We'll put this call under bogus just already.

1:00:43 Drew What is it going on?

1:00:45 No, man, it's ain't a bogus call.

1:00:46 Caller I'm serious.

1:00:47 Drew Well, tell me, what do you got?

1:00:48 Caller You guys have heard of the Oedipus complex, right?

1:00:51 Adam No, never heard of it.

1:00:53 Drew Yeah, I think I saw the play Equus. Is that anything?

1:00:57 Caller Well, I was just wanting to know if there's kind of like a similar complex to where younger brothers have a sexual attraction to their older brothers.

1:01:04 Adam No.

1:01:04 Drew No.

1:01:05 Oh, yeah, and I have sex with my brother.

1:01:07 Adam They idealize older brothers, for sure. They can have all sorts of idealizations, and may need to cling to you, and may really need your approval and time from you and attention and whatnot, but it does not have any sexual component to it. Sandy 25. Nice try. Yeah, nice try at the bogus call, Dave. By the way, if it does, that means that child had been sexually abused by an adult.

1:01:28 Drew That makes sense.

1:01:29 Adam Whenever family boundaries are violated that way, amongst and between siblings, biological siblings, that means the kid that's initiating the action-

1:01:36 Drew Has been abused.

1:01:37 Adam Has been abused by an adult.

1:01:38 Drew It's like a fire. It spreads.

1:01:40 Adam Yes, sir. Sandy 25.

1:01:42 Caller Hi, how's it going?

1:01:43 Drew Good. Good. Sandy, what's up?

1:01:45 Caller Well, about a week ago, I kind of caught my husband looking at a gay website. I found it on the history.

1:01:53 Caller He blew me off.

1:01:55 Caller And we haven't been doing so good sexually. Well, pretty much we've been together, but it's been-

1:02:01 Drew How long you been together?

1:02:02 Caller Four years.

1:02:04 Drew Four years. And how often do you have sex?

1:02:06 Caller Well, we used to about once a week. Now it's a dwindle down almost once a month.

1:02:12 Drew Wow.

1:02:12 Adam Is he on any medication?

1:02:14 Caller No. No. And he's never been interested really in- I've never gotten any sort of foreplay. I think he's always afraid of my womanly part.

1:02:25 Adam Interesting.

1:02:26 Drew Wow. You know, let me ask you now, let's get back to the websites, my womanly part.

1:02:30 Adam I love that euphemism.

1:02:32 Drew Let's talk a little bit. Now, you know, you're a healthy woman, 25 years old, right?

1:02:37 Caller Yeah.

1:02:38 Drew I'm very clean.

1:02:39 Caller I'm chastened.

1:02:40 Caller You know, I can-

1:02:41 Drew You didn't gain like 100 pounds in a month or anything like that, right?

1:02:44 Caller Oh, God, no.

1:02:45 Adam Her womanly parts are well-maintained.

1:02:47 Drew Her womanly parts are well-maintained and ready to go, ready for action. She's not getting any action. So let me say, and when there is action, there's no foreplay. So let me ask you, let's get back to these internet sites. Was there a lot of action on there? Was it just one hit?

1:02:58 Caller No, it was two.

1:03:00 Adam In other words, it wasn't an accidental hit. It wasn't like he was cruising around and it came across.

1:03:04 Drew It wasn't like trying to find Google something for work and all of a sudden he ended up on the, I've got, you know, I need penis hotline or something.

1:03:12 Caller Well, you know, I suspect it may be more because he's constantly like wiping out the history on our computer and going...

1:03:18 Caller Ah!

1:03:20 Adam Uh-oh. Has there ever been anything else about men that he's mentioned to you or that you've been concerned about?

1:03:25 Caller No, no, nothing like that.

1:03:27 Drew Does he wear slacks?

1:03:28 Adam The only thing is what?

1:03:29 Drew Slacks.

1:03:30 Adam Huh? I wear slacks, how dare you? The only thing is what?

1:03:34 Drew The only thing is what?

1:03:35 Caller The only thing is, you know, just his disinterest in, you know, me sexually is the only other thing that concerns me is...

1:03:42 Adam Has he had other girlfriends before you?

1:03:44 Caller None, serious. I was the longest ever.

1:03:47 Adam Has he had other male friends before you? You know what I'm saying?

1:03:50 Caller Not that I know of.

1:03:52 Drew Have you ever asked him? Did you ask him? You talked to him about it?

1:03:54 Caller Yeah, I asked him.

1:03:56 Drew Does he get angry and denial about it?

1:03:59 Caller No, he kind of laughs.

1:04:01 What are you talking about, Sandy?

1:04:03 Drew What do you mean? I don't like penis.

1:04:05 What are you talking about?

1:04:06 Drew I'm just going and looking because I'm curious.

1:04:08 Adam That's all.

1:04:10 Drew I don't know what your deal is. What's wrong with you?

1:04:12 Oh my God.

1:04:13 Drew The next thing you know, you're going to say I'm gay. I just like to look at other men's penises because I'm curious. I like to compare mine to theirs. So, I mean, you confronted him with it. Have you asked him like specifically, I mean, is there something about me that you're not wanting to, you know, be with? You know, have you got to talk to him?

1:04:35 No.

1:04:35 Drew Have you talked to him?

1:04:36 Adam What does he say?

1:04:37 Caller I've tried to say that several times and tell him I'm unsatisfied.

1:04:41 That's good.

1:04:42 Drew So you said that. Thank God.

1:04:43 Adam What does he say?

1:04:43 Drew You haven't, did you say you haven't had an orgasm in a year?

1:04:47 Caller Almost two years.

1:04:48 Adam Oh my God.

1:04:49 Drew No, don't you do.

1:04:50 Caller No, no, not with him.

1:04:51 Caller You know, with myself, but not with him.

1:04:53 Adam I understand.

1:04:54 Drew Good, yeah. Wow.

1:04:55 Adam It's bad times.

1:04:56 Drew That's not good.

1:04:57 Caller No. Yeah, I'm trying to use it.

1:04:59 Drew You deserve more than that, especially since half of your household income is going towards, you know, pornography. Pink cheeks.

1:05:07 Adam He needs to step up to his husbandly duties.

1:05:09 Drew Well, let me tell you. This, have you guys talked about going to a counselor?

1:05:14 Caller Actually, I looked up, I found a good sex therapist and he said, well, I hope, you know, they charge you less for one person because I'm not going.

1:05:21 All right.

1:05:22 Adam Oh, boy, that's bad.

1:05:23 Drew Well, you know what? It's really he is not into this relationship anymore.

1:05:28 You know what?

1:05:28 Adam They're married.

1:05:29 Drew I know you're married. Do you guys have kids?

1:05:31 Caller One, yes. He's a year and a half.

1:05:33 Drew Oh, man, that just made the exit a lot more complicated. Let me tell you, Sandy, you're 25. You take care of yourself below the waist. I appreciate that. We like that. You are still a young woman. You got a young kid. That's complicated. But let me tell you, you're in a relationship where you're not getting anything out of. Is he at least there for you emotionally? Do you guys like, do you talk to him about your work and what you're going through, blah, blah, blah? Do you guys have a really close friendship or is that gone too?

1:06:03 Caller No, yeah, we're like best friends.

1:06:05 Adam Oof.

1:06:05 Caller It's just sexually.

1:06:07 Adam That's not a good sign.

1:06:08 Drew All right, okay. So it sounds like you guys are going to have a really good friendship when he goes and comes out of the closet and starts sleeping with men that he meets on the gay internet site.

1:06:16 Adam Yeah, here's the thing about straight men and gay images.

1:06:19 Drew Yeah.

1:06:20 Adam They can't look at them. A straight man.

1:06:22 Drew No, no, you're right.

1:06:23 Adam A straight man has this kind of crazy visceral reaction. And you know what?

1:06:26 Drew I can look at porno, but it has to have a woman there. There has to be, you know.

1:06:31 Adam In fact, what's interesting, I was involved in a study down at Emory University where they did functional MRI scans on men and women looking at images.

1:06:40 Drew On images fast, right?

1:06:41 Adam Yeah, well not too fast, but enough to sort of see what your brain does with them. So there's neutral images, there's images of nude men, nude women, and then hardcore sexual images. All the straight men, and they only had straight men in there, when you put the-

1:06:53 Drew The hardcore gay image.

1:06:55 Adam Not even hardcore gay, just nude men up there. The men, and I went in the scanner myself, you have this huge biological threat response. And I can tell you, looking at those images, I had nothing consciously.

1:07:07 Drew They recoil in fear.

1:07:09 Adam But I gotta tell you, I consciously, I looked at them and went, eh, whatever, you know, nothing, no big deal.

1:07:13 Drew But you're more exposed to it than the normal person.

1:07:15 Adam But my brain lit up like a Christmas tree as threat. And so this is even beneath consciousness, this stuff goes on.

1:07:21 Drew Yeah, it's primal.

1:07:24 Adam And so, right, and so when you have a straight man looking at gay sexual images, they get this sort of recoiling.

1:07:28 Drew Whereas Sandy's husband wants to have it as a screen saver.

1:07:32 Adam He wants to seek it out.

1:07:33 Drew He wants to, you know what, and that says, can you go back to that one, please? I just want to look at it. Just I'm curious, can I have it as my screen saver? Can you email it to me?

1:07:41 Adam And I will posit that there is no such thing for men as gay curious.

1:07:47 Drew Yeah, unless they're bisexual, there's no such thing because they're gay.

1:07:51 Adam They're bi-biotic, heterosexual is what that is. It's bye-bye. It's not bye, it's bye-bye.

1:07:55 Drew No, but Sandy, you're young, you sound nice, you sound like you got your stuff together.

1:07:59 Adam Well, here's the deal, get some professional help.

1:08:01 Drew And if he refuses, then you gotta leave.

1:08:03 Adam Well, go by yourself first, and you may end up leaving, but I hope not on behalf of your child. It's much better for him if you don't.

1:08:09 Drew Yeah, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, well, if you guys can maybe work it out, but I'm saying you're young enough, you can start a whole nother life.

1:08:13 Adam Rob wants to date you, Sandy. What he's saying is Rob wants to date you. He's gay, he's never gonna work out. Let's put the cards on the table. You're in, you're in, Rob's in, he's out.

1:08:21 Drew She sounds, she takes care of herself below. I respect that.

1:08:23 Adam Rob Schneider's our guest. You know him from everything. I'm trying to make the list here. We've got Big Daddy, Little Nicky, Mr. D's, The Water Boy.

1:08:33 Drew Thank you. I've had that since I was a kid. Now you guys, I've done the show now.

1:08:37 Adam My kids love Hot Chick by the way.

1:08:38 Drew Oh, do they? Oh, thank you. It's a sweet movie. It's actually discovering, it's actually, you know, their website's on it.

1:08:42 Adam It's funny as hell because I've, not only have I seen it, but I've listened to it about 16 times as I'm driving.

1:08:46 Drew It's a sweet movie. There's nothing wrong in it. It's a sweet little movie. But I'll tell you, since I've been on the show already. It's a good message. It does. I wrote that for my 13-year-old daughter, basically to say, there's a great part of the movie where it says, you don't need a guy to make you feel good about you're beautiful and beautiful by yourself. And that women have kind of, young women respond to that. Because it's a lie.

1:09:06 Adam That's your first night on the show and?

1:09:07 Drew And I should already be offered to take over for Adam Corolla. They should just offer me the show. What kind of insult do they have?

1:09:13 Adam Well, guess what? It's a work day tomorrow. You never know what might come through.

1:09:16 Drew Let's see what happens tomorrow.

1:09:19 Adam The phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191. Rob Schneider is a guest. Give him a call. We'll be right back. That's right. It's Loveline 1-800-LOVE-191. Rob Schneider is in here tonight with us. What's up?

1:09:39 Drew Well, I like that applause. Even if it's fake, it still makes me feel good. I'm pretty shallow, aren't I? Okay. Okay. Now, my daughter, this is tough, but I'm going to mention this now, my daughter called me up. She could be. But anyway, now she's in the East Coast. She'll be listening. Okay. She calls me up. I'm in Mexico. She calls me on the cell phone.

1:09:59 Adam Mexico, where you're huge.

1:10:01 Drew Yeah, where I'm huge in Mexico. Grande. Grande. Actually, in Brazil, Grande.

1:10:07 Adam The eggs you throw us on Espanol. All right.

1:10:10 Drew So anyway, she calls me up. Now here's what you would do. Because your daughter's how old now? Okay. Thirteen. So this is getting closer. So she's just turned 16. She calls me up. She says, Dad, you're going to kill me. I'm in a restaurant with my friends. And we're at a restaurant, a friend's restaurant, and we're $100 over. I need your credit card. And I go, what? Well, you know what? You should have thought about that before you went to that restaurant. Good for you. And I'm not going to bail you out every time you blah, blah, blah. Yeah. You know, so why are you trying to be the big shot? What about your friends? Yeah. What about your friends? Why don't they? You say, I'm just going to call my dad, blah, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, she used the A word. And she used an F word before that.

1:10:55 Adam An F and A.

1:10:57 Drew Yeah. You know, and then I had a hang up. So I said, you know what? She's going to. I said, I'm not here. So I called the next day we talked. And I say, listen, I'm not here to bail you out every time you make a mistake. I wouldn't be, that's not loving. I wouldn't be good dad, you know? I believe in you. That's why blah, blah, blah. You're in this school and blah, blah, blah, you know? But, and you, you know, do you have anything to say to me? I'm waiting for an apology, right? He says, no, you're not going to apologize. Now, I mean, you should have just blah, blah, blah. I mean, I hardly ever ask you for, and I went, oh, okay. The next day she doesn't apologize. And she still has that attitude and she won't apologize for swearing, blah, blah, blah. And so this is like a month or so ago. And I just, I called her up. I said, so she didn't apologize for a week.

1:11:36 Adam Yeah.

1:11:38 Drew So then I say, hey, I won't say her name, but I say, it's Ellie. I say, hey, you did a really good thing. So I tell you, you really did a good thing.

1:11:48 Caller She says, what?

1:11:49 Drew You did a really good thing. That's why I say thank you. Well, you really, you should feel good about yourself. What are you talking about? Well, you did a really good thing. I just want you to, you should feel good about yourself. What are you saying? Well, on behalf of Katrina victims, hurricane victims, thank you for donating all that stuff. I took some stuff, clothes and stuff she didn't wear and stuff like that.

1:12:06 Adam Wow.

1:12:07 Drew And I donated to charity along with like a lot of my stuff and everything. And she was livid about that. But I think, I don't know.

1:12:15 Adam I think that's a very good thing.

1:12:17 Drew Okay, I just, you know, I wasn't 100% sure. I didn't give everything, but I just.

1:12:20 Adam No, they say, they say, the behaviorists say that the best way to shape behavior is to withdraw a positive.

1:12:27 Drew Okay.

1:12:27 Adam So if there are things that she liked that she no longer has access to, you've made your point.

1:12:31 Drew Well, she'd bought in all these new bedsheets and all stuff.

1:12:33 Adam Yeah, because punishment doesn't do much. But withdrawing a positive tends to shape behavior more.

1:12:40 Drew I like that. So anyway, I thought you were going to tell me I was a psycho or something.

1:12:43 Adam And for a good cause. And that's different. That's a separate thing. You're being a psycho, that is. Because April is 29. April?

1:12:50 Caller Yes.

1:12:51 Adam What's up?

1:12:51 Caller How are you tonight?

1:12:53 Adam We're good.

1:12:53 Drew Hi, April.

1:12:54 Rob Schneider How are you?

1:12:55 Drew Good.

1:12:56 Caller I have a question. My boyfriend and I, we have a great sex life and we can go for like three, four hours at a time, sometimes a long time.

1:13:05 That's not a great sex life.

1:13:07 Drew That's an aerobic exercise.

1:13:10 Adam It's also a disability. I mean, how are you going to work?

1:13:13 Drew Yeah, yeah. How are you going to watch TV?

1:13:15 Caller I have a hard time walking when we're done.

1:13:17 Adam Oh, that's great.

1:13:18 Caller Yeah.

1:13:18 Drew Okay, well good. You're young. How old are you?

1:13:21 Caller I'm 29.

1:13:23 Drew When I was 20, I used to go for five, seven minutes. So you're in good shape. So what's the issue?

1:13:29 Caller The thing is, when we hit that three, four hour mark even longer, he still hasn't had an orgasm at that point. I have had four.

1:13:39 Drew Well, how much below is he doing?

1:13:40 Adam Yeah, he's doing something.

1:13:41 Drew He's, you know, no guy is going to have sex. Did you honestly, does he do drugs?

1:13:45 Caller No.

1:13:46 Adam Is he taking Viagra?

1:13:47 Caller No.

1:13:49 Drew Xialis?

1:13:50 Caller No, he doesn't take anything.

1:13:52 Adam And he has no orgasm during that whole time?

1:13:54 Drew Is he wearing a latex, clean the kitchen glove over his wiener?

1:14:01 Caller No. We've been together for three years.

1:14:04 Drew Okay, so that's unusual. Is he trying to and just can't do it?

1:14:08 Caller Sometimes he doesn't and we're like, well, why don't you?

1:14:12 Adam What does he say?

1:14:14 Caller He doesn't say anything other than he's just, we're both hot and sweaty and I figured, oh, it's just from the heat and stuff. But, you know, I was in there going, well, that kind of makes me feel bad that you're not getting yours, but I'm getting mine. And so I was like, what's your question?

1:14:30 Caller What can I do?

1:14:31 Adam Well, some guys have difficulty orgasming in any situation. And that, you know, those, those guys have some issues oftentimes. But more often than not, this is something biological slash pharmacological, meaning he's doing something you don't know it. Yeah.

1:14:49 Drew And stop making faces that aren't attractive, like, eww, get rid of that face, eww, when you're having sex with them.

1:14:56 Caller I actually, I actually...

1:14:57 Drew Maybe that would help.

1:14:58 Caller I, I...

1:15:00 Drew You actually what?

1:15:01 Caller I actually, because I like looking at him.

1:15:04 Caller He likes that, too.

1:15:06 Adam Maybe, and do you want to go for three hours, is that...

1:15:08 Drew That sounds a bit much.

1:15:09 Adam I mean, so painful you can't walk afterwards.

1:15:11 Drew You could rent one of my movies, I mean, and two of them.

1:15:14 Adam Yeah, why do that?

1:15:16 Caller It's not an all-the-time thing.

1:15:18 Drew All right, all right.

1:15:19 Caller It's the whole, you know...

1:15:21 Adam And those are what we call sequential orgasms. Those aren't really multiple orgasms so much.

1:15:25 Caller Yeah, I feel bad because by the end, he hasn't at all...

1:15:29 Adam Yeah, well, all we're telling you is there's a reason for that and he's not telling you what it is.

1:15:33 Drew It could be some chemical thing but let me tell you something. It's a guy's... if a guy wants to, he's going to and it's... Don't make it your problem, all your problem. Don't feel bad.

1:15:44 Adam Again...

1:15:45 Drew He should take care of his own business.

1:15:46 Adam That is true and there's something up with him. Like, he is... there's something that feels pharmacological going on here. Whether he's on steroids and can't or he's using a biograph or something.

1:15:55 Drew Is he a muscly guy? That's true. He could be doing steroids.

1:15:57 Adam Is he a super muscly guy?

1:16:01 Caller He's got a pretty good athletic build.

1:16:03 Drew Is he a bodybuilder?

1:16:05 Caller No. He's a truck driver, so he's on the road a lot.

1:16:08 So that's speed.

1:16:09 Drew That's perfect.

1:16:10 Adam Yeah, speed makes it so you can't orgasm.

1:16:12 Drew He may not even think it's speed, but do you ever ask him if he takes any speed?

1:16:16 Caller He can't. He has random drug tests.

1:16:19 Adam Yeah, why does he have random drug tests?

1:16:20 Drew There's stuff...

1:16:21 Caller Company policy.

1:16:22 Drew There's stuff you can take that it doesn't show up on those tests.

1:16:25 Caller Yeah, these guys figure that out.

1:16:26 Adam This now starts to fit together. Speed makes it so you can't have an orgasm.

1:16:29 Drew But let me tell you, there's also caffeine pills that they don't even care about. You can take all the caffeine pills you want.

1:16:33 Adam That can make cause difficulty as well. All right, here is Jeremy 17.

1:16:38 Caller Hey, what's up?

1:16:39 Adam Ooh, 17.

1:16:40 Drew That's a tough 17. That's a hard 17, baby.

1:16:45 Caller I have military school flashbacks, like, dreams and...

1:16:49 Adam Like, what happened there? What are you thinking about?

1:16:52 Caller Um, like, say I got in trouble there, like, you get beat or, like, you get locks in a box or, like, thrown in like this, I don't know, you get beat.

1:17:02 Adam How old were you?

1:17:03 Caller Um, I was 15.

1:17:06 Adam And you were in this country?

1:17:07 Caller Yeah.

1:17:08 Adam And they're allowed to beat kids?

1:17:10 Caller Well, they didn't know about it.

1:17:12 Caller This place got in trouble many times. Oh, wow.

1:17:15 Adam Why don't you give us the name of it so everyone can be on alert?

1:17:19 Drew What's the name of the place?

1:17:20 Caller It was, uh, Bethel Baptist Boys Academy in Mississippi.

1:17:24 Adam Bethel Baptist?

1:17:25 Drew I'm gonna look it up and see if I can get my kid to go there.

1:17:27 Caller Oh, if you look it up, there's, like, 17 torture reports there.

1:17:32 Caller Wow.

1:17:32 Drew Bethel Baptist?

1:17:33 Caller Yeah.

1:17:34 Drew Military school?

1:17:35 Caller Yeah.

1:17:36 Drew Now, where do you live right now?

1:17:38 Caller I'm in Orange County, California.

1:17:40 Drew Okay, so what were your parents thinking sending you out to Bethel Baptist Military School in Mississippi? So you got into problems in high school and in your high school, right?

1:17:51 Caller Yeah, a lot of drugs and stuff like that.

1:17:53 Drew Okay, so they wanted to send you to a place where you can have a lot of discipline because that would help fix you out, right? Which always makes the situation worse.

1:18:00 Caller They thought it was a good Christian environment.

1:18:04 Adam Well, how you doing now?

1:18:06 Caller We're good.

1:18:07 Drew Are you back in Orange County?

1:18:09 Caller Yeah.

1:18:10 Drew So when you told your parents that you were getting this situation, how did they respond?

1:18:17 Caller They were pretty sad, pretty pissed.

1:18:19 Drew And they took you out of it?

1:18:21 Rob Schneider No, this is after.

1:18:23 Drew Okay, so you didn't talk to them right away. How long were you in that situation? For one year?

1:18:28 Nine months.

1:18:30 Drew Nine months, okay. What was the worst thing that happened to you in there? Was there any sexual abuse?

1:18:35 No, no, no, no, no.

1:18:36 Adam Just physical abuse.

1:18:37 Rob Schneider No, just physical.

1:18:39 Adam Well, it's normal to have post-traumatic stress after things like that. To have bad dreams, to have night terrors, to have intrusive images of all that, to have panic attacks and anxiety, even some depression. So, that's, I mean, you may want to see a doctor about that. Maybe you'll have University of Irvine, University of California, Irvine.

1:18:55 Drew Jeremy, can I tell you the good news?

1:18:57 Adam What?

1:18:58 Drew You're out of there and you're talking about it. So you're already like a millionth of the way to deal with this problem.

1:19:04 Adam Are you still doing drugs?

1:19:05 Caller I smoke pot and drink once in a while.

1:19:07 Adam Yeah, that's my concern. Once in a while, the pot's every day. When you get PTSD and you're an addict, it tends to accelerate the drug use. Yeah.

1:19:15 Drew So basically, here's the thing. Stay clean, avoid military school, and get off the drugs, and you're going to be all right.

1:19:24 Adam I have rarely seen that kind of thing work out for people. You know, when kids are sent away because they're misbehaving, particularly if one of the reasons they're misbehaving is because parents weren't around the way they should have been when the kids wake up, and then they send them away.

1:19:35 Drew Well, they were reaching out for any kind of attention from the parents.

1:19:39 Adam Right. And I tell you, I've seen a number of kids that when they've been sent away because parents were not around, they were busy with their own lives and whatnot, and the kids are trying to get some attention by acting out, they get sent away. Man, they count the minutes till they get back, and then they accelerate their drug use like crazy to get back at parents. So they harm themselves to get back at their parents. Mike 21.

1:20:00 Hi, yeah, so, sorry I'm a little nervous.

1:20:06 Adam You should be. You're on with Rob Schneider. He should be very, very, very, very scary guy to talk to.

1:20:10 Drew I had a huge sequel out this summer. Be very nervous, Mike 21.

1:20:15 Adam Bench warmers coming out in April.

1:20:17 Drew It doesn't sound like that. Yeah, anyway, when you start to send stuff with yeah, that's a drug problem. Now what's going on, Mike 21?

1:20:26 My girlfriend, I've been with her for about two years. It wasn't very physical until about a year into it.

1:20:33 Drew You're a very patient 21-year-old or 19-year-old. She's hot though. She's hot? You waited that long?

1:20:40 Yeah, I got a lot in high school and once I hit college, for some reason, I was cool with waiting.

1:20:47 Drew Oh, so you were still, you were...

1:20:51 Adam Non-Virgin.

1:20:52 Drew You were making out and you were doing okay with other chicks while you were waiting for this girl.

1:20:55 Adam I don't know, before in high school, then in college, met this one and waited it out.

1:20:59 Drew Oh, you waited it out with this one? You were with other girls with this girl?

1:21:01 Adam It's hard to believe, Rob.

1:21:03 Drew I'm sorry.

1:21:03 Adam You can't go and deal with it.

1:21:04 Drew My experience is different. Sometimes I can't help but take my experiences away from the situation. But go ahead, Mike, so what's the deal?

1:21:11 Okay, pretty recently, we started getting more physical and she wasn't able to orgasm and you know, I listened to the show and I told her, you know, that's normal.

1:21:22 Drew It is.

1:21:22 I might not for a long time.

1:21:25 Adam Well, not only that, though, you've got to do oral sex properly.

1:21:28 Drew Have you, do you do the oral sex, Mike?

1:21:30 Yes, and you...

1:21:32 Drew No, no, no, Mike, not yes and do you, do the oral sex for a long time?

1:21:37 I do the oral sex.

1:21:38 Adam Okay.

1:21:38 Drew You do the oral sex.

1:21:39 And that didn't work until she suggested blindfolding her. And, yeah, there's, she's mentioned being, you know...

1:21:51 Drew Are you severely burned?

1:21:53 Adam She's mentioned what?

1:21:54 Rob Schneider What?

1:21:55 Bondage being tied up, stuff like that.

1:21:57 Drew Ah.

1:21:58 Adam Well, go ahead.

1:22:00 Rob Schneider I'm sorry, go ahead.

1:22:01 Adam I was going to say, if it's bondage light, to sort of meaning, in order to feel sexual, I need to feel out of control, like you're in command of things.

1:22:08 Drew But let me drop the bomb.

1:22:09 Adam That's kind of a common thing, is that women... Yeah, some women, when they feel sort of ashamed of their sexual side, can't feel sexual if they're expressing it. They have to be out of control.

1:22:21 Drew Do you have, let me ask you something, when you guys are fooling around, is there a spotlight on her, on her face? Are you videotaping this? Are there other people in the room? I mean, is she embarrassed? I mean, have you done it completely in the dark? Is that, or she's just turned on by bondage?

1:22:35 I guess it's just turned on by bondage.

1:22:38 Drew All right, let me drop a bomb here, pal, Mike 21. Now, as soon as a girl would say to me, time me up, the first thing I go to is, oh, she's done this before!

1:22:48 Caller I'm with a whore! She likes to be tied up and done crazy things, and she's done it with somebody else!

1:22:54 Drew And that freaks me out. I mean, is that crossing your mind?

1:22:57 Adam You're a pretty liberated young man, Rob.

1:22:58 Drew No, and it doesn't bother me! But no, but that means she's done it with somebody else. Does that freak you out at all, Mike? Is that where we're going?

1:23:04 Seriously? No, I'm pretty certain. She's never had a boyfriend before.

1:23:10 Drew Oh, no girl wants to be tied up in the bondage. She just says, you know what, just time to bond. She's done that before. Mike, in the recesses of your mind, you have to admit that that's what's happening. She's done this before.

1:23:23 Well, my concern was that maybe it had been done to her.

1:23:28 Adam Okay, all right. Okay, now wait a minute, Mike. Those are the two possibilities. One is that she had been rendered powerless at some other time in her life, whether by physical abuse or sexual abuse.

1:23:39 Drew So is this a way for-

1:23:40 Adam Whereby feeling powerlessness becomes sort of a way that feels attractive and sexual to her.

1:23:44 Drew It's what she's used to. You know, it sounds more like, though, if she's had that, then I would, you know, my thing is that I think she would, unless she's trying to regain her power in some weird way that I don't understand.

1:23:54 Adam Well, no, people that are traumatized are attracted to the traumatic experiences in a sexual way in adult life.

1:23:59 Drew I've heard you say that on the show.

1:24:00 Adam And that's not something that's understandable. It's not something that's easy to, you can't make sense of that. It's just how humans are wired.

1:24:05 Drew Or.

1:24:06 Adam Or.

1:24:07 Caller She's done it with somebody else. And she wants to do it again. And you feel weird about it.

1:24:12 Adam Or she feels very bad about being sexual at all. And the only way she can be sexual again is if she's unable to be, you know, she's like, oh, I can only feel, he took over. He's completely out of my control.

1:24:23 Drew You know, listen, I'm not saying I'm the most experienced guy in the world.

1:24:27 Adam I'm so close.

1:24:27 Drew I'm saying I have had a lot and I've photographed all of it and videotaped most of it and it's all in the Internet. No, but I'm saying that this is not normal. This is not. This is a girl who's, if she's had this experience before.

1:24:41 Adam It's not normal, but it's not necessarily quite where you're going with it.

1:24:46 Drew I'm saying she's had this happen before and that's the only way she can get off.

1:24:49 Adam Mike?

1:24:52 I would have that concern if I wasn't 100% sure that she hasn't been with anybody else.

1:24:56 Drew Have you asked her, is she a virgin? Did you ask her that?

1:24:59 Yeah, she is a virgin.

1:25:00 Drew Okay, has she ever had any abuse as a kid?

1:25:04 I have no idea. She's really, she never talks about that explicitly, but it's always been something I sort of had questions about.

1:25:13 Drew Why, why, why? What did you question? Why did you question it?

1:25:16 Caller Why, why, why? Why?

1:25:18 Drew Answer the question!

1:25:19 Caller I'm sorry.

1:25:20 Drew I'm getting excited.

1:25:21 Adam Getting a little cathartic for you here, isn't it, Rob?

1:25:23 Drew It's finally coming out!

1:25:23 Adam Something happened recently with a girl you need to be tied up?

1:25:26 Drew No, I just, I'm just, I found myself interested in it.

1:25:28 Adam By the way, by the way, a girl you need to be tied up in her mid-twenties who happened to have been with another man at some point in her life?

1:25:33 Drew No, I, it, okay. Okay. Mike, now what made you think, I'm going to calm down.

1:25:40 Adam That she had been abused.

1:25:41 Drew What makes you think that she's had this bad experience before?

1:25:44 Just, just because it does seem so odd that, just, I don't know, it seems like, it does, like, like Dr. Drew was saying, it does sort of seem like maybe an embarrassed thing. Like I, that, that could make sense, but.

1:25:57 Adam That she doesn't like being sexual. Seeing herself as a sexual being is very uncomfortable for her. And, you know, again, if she doesn't feel overpowered by him, she has to artificially create a circumstance where she feels out of control so she can be sexual, because it's outside of her volitional control at that point. Wow. Wow. So that happens. I don't know.

1:26:15 Drew That sounds like a really hip 19-year-old chick to me.

1:26:18 Rob Schneider Yeah.

1:26:19 Adam Anyway, you like his girlfriend, right? You're good for her.

1:26:21 Drew Yeah, well, I'm saying, you know what? You know what? And she has a problem orgasming, but that's the thing. I think that there are some issues that she's got there in her past.

1:26:28 Adam 20-year-old girls have trouble orgasming.

1:26:29 Drew Yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no. I'm saying, though, if she's trouble orgasming and they're fooling around, but she needs to be tied up to do it and bondage, then there's something else going on.

1:26:37 Adam I'll tell you, the blindfolding is the weirdest part of it.

1:26:41 Drew That sounds fishy to me.

1:26:42 Adam All right. All right. Listen. It's Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Rob Schneider, Deuce Bigelow European Jiglow coming out on DVD November 29th.

1:26:51 Drew See you at the end of the month. But Mike, have your girlfriend calling you. I want to talk to her.

1:26:55 Adam Bitch, if the screeners hear this, if Mike's girlfriend is nearby.

1:26:58 Drew Mike, if your girlfriend, have your girlfriend call.

1:27:00 Adam Or maybe she's right nearby and we can get her on the phone.

1:27:02 Drew Get her on the phone, let's talk.

1:27:04 Adam Alright, we'll see if we can talk to Mike's girlfriend after this.

1:27:17 Caller This is Loveline.

1:27:22 Adam Great Rob Schneider in here tonight on Loveline 1-800-LOVE-191. Let's very quickly get back to the calls. This is Bill 22.

1:27:31 Drew Hey, Bill.

1:27:32 Caller Hi. Hello.

1:27:34 Drew Hi.

1:27:35 Adam I'm with Rob Schneider. Hi, Bill.

1:27:37 Drew How are you doing?

1:27:38 Good.

1:27:40 Drew OK, what can we do for you, Bill?

1:27:42 Hey, I was wondering, like, every once in a while, I like to look at chicks having sex with animals. And I was wondering, like, no matter how much I try not to look at it, I always find myself looking at it anyway.

1:27:54 Drew When you try not to, you're not trying not to pretty hard.

1:27:58 Oh, I like look at it and it's kind of cool when I look at it. But I don't like, I was wondering why I would be interested in that.

1:28:06 Drew How old are you?

1:28:07 Rob Schneider 22.

1:28:08 Adam OK, it feels like a sort of what we call misogynistic impulse. Like you're not, you're sort of into degrading women a little bit, maybe, Bill.

1:28:17 Drew Do you have a lot of farm animals around you?

1:28:20 No.

1:28:21 Drew Do you live on a farm?

1:28:23 No.

1:28:23 Adam It seems like...

1:28:24 Drew It's not about the farm animals then. It's probably about the women.

1:28:26 Adam It seems like something, yeah. It seems like something you...

1:28:30 Drew Let me ask you, do you have sex with women? Have you had sex, when was the last time you had sex with a woman?

1:28:34 Rob Schneider Just tonight.

1:28:35 Caller Get out of here.

1:28:37 Yeah, my girlfriend.

1:28:38 Drew Yeah, so you have a girlfriend?

1:28:40 Yeah.

1:28:40 Drew Do you like her?

1:28:42 Yeah.

1:28:42 Adam Do you make her do weird stuff?

1:28:45 We do tie each other up every once in a while.

1:28:48 Drew Okay, that's moderately...

1:28:49 Adam Compared to the bestiality, that's not...

1:28:51 Drew No, but does she know that you like to see this stuff?

1:28:54 No.

1:28:55 Adam By the way, to say you try not to look at it, I find that sort of...

1:28:59 Drew It means you see, after he's...

1:29:00 Adam You have something you have to seek out quite actively, so the trying not to look at it...

1:29:04 Drew I try not to... Let me ask you something, does it excite you? Do you get excited and do you masturbate to it? Tell me the truth.

1:29:11 No, I don't masturbate to it.

1:29:12 Drew But you get excited, right?

1:29:14 Yeah.

1:29:16 Drew Okay.

1:29:16 Adam Whatever. I just think it's sort of... These are the guys... Let me ask you something. I would put this together with anal sex. Do you sort of push your girlfriend to have anal sex, that sort of thing?

1:29:27 No.

1:29:29 Adam So what... Now I'm confused.

1:29:30 Drew Stumped.

1:29:31 Caller You stumped Dr. Drew!

1:29:33 Adam What's that?

1:29:34 I remember you saying that, if you're traumatized by something to the kid, you're into it and you're an adult.

1:29:40 Drew This doesn't sound like that.

1:29:41 Adam This is different. There are things that happen where people themselves get into things with animals. Those are kids that were usually often severely neglected in childhood where they don't feel attached to humans at all.

1:29:52 Drew This sounds like a weird curiosity. It sounds like you're the weirdest person who's ever lived there. I don't mean to go there, but I think it is.

1:29:59 Adam Rachel 20.

1:30:00 Caller Hi.

1:30:01 Drew Hi Rachel. Does your boyfriend like to watch Beastiality?

1:30:06 Caller No, I don't think so.

1:30:06 Drew Okay, different girl. Just checking.

1:30:08 Adam We hope not.

1:30:09 Drew So what's going on?

1:30:11 Caller I actually had heard from several people that if you drink excessive amounts of caffeine, it can cause fibrous cysts in your breast.

1:30:19 Adam That is true.

1:30:21 Drew I mean, no, no, no. Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You've got to drink like a pot and a half a day.

1:30:25 Adam No, no, no, no. Caffeine and chocolate is even associated with fibrous cystic breast. It doesn't mean anything. It's just associated with that.

1:30:33 Caller Does it just make your breast like hurt?

1:30:36 Adam No, you can be a little painful, a little lumpy.

1:30:38 Drew How much coffee are you drinking, babe?

1:30:39 Caller Well, I work at Starbucks, so I drink a lot more coffee.

1:30:46 Adam Do you have fibrous cystic breast?

1:30:49 Caller I don't know for sure.

1:30:50 Caller It's just I've been hurting a lot more recently, and I don't know whether it's because I got a new bra or whether it's because I started drinking.

1:30:56 Adam Are you on birth control?

1:30:58 Caller I'm not.

1:30:59 Adam Okay. Are you using an underwire bra?

1:31:02 Caller Yeah.

1:31:03 Adam Those underwire bras tend to dig in a little bit and tend to cause pain, particularly if you have a tendency toward cysts.

1:31:08 Drew Are you letting your co-workers grab your boobs during coffee breaks?

1:31:12 Caller No.

1:31:14 Adam Excellent. But I don't think I'd get so worried about the coffee at this point. You don't need to drink lots of coffee.

1:31:20 Drew You don't need a lot of coffee.

1:31:21 Adam B, it has no real significance in terms of prognosis. So believe it or not, Rob, we have to take another break.

1:31:28 Drew No.

1:31:28 Adam Yes, dude.

1:31:29 Drew I would just say what this carolla needs to do is just go brawl us a couple of times a week.

1:31:33 Adam Alright. We'll be right back.

1:31:39 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back.

1:31:50 Drew Well, Dr. Drew, I want to thank you for having me on. I mean, I think it was a good first night of the week.

1:31:55 Adam Yeah, for a first outing. I think there's better things ahead.

1:31:58 Drew I think so. You don't want to peak early.

1:32:00 Adam No, you don't want to peak early. I'll give you my critique tomorrow night. Maybe the way home. We'll talk it over a little bit.

1:32:04 Caller Let's do that.

1:32:05 Adam Until then, I appreciate you coming out all this week. I love it. It's a pleasure having you. This show for me went in about three milliseconds.

1:32:12 Drew We're going to do it again tomorrow.

1:32:13 Adam Which is a great sign of a good show. And we will do it again tomorrow night, so please give us a call at 1-800-LOVE-191. And until that time, this is Dr. Drew on behalf of Rob Schneider saying mahalo.

1:32:24 Drew Next thing you know, you're going to say I'm gay. I just like to look at other men's penises because I'm curious. I like to compare mine to theirs.

1:32:33 Caller This has been Loveline. Opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, November 13, 2005