Episode 1000729015784

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:04 Voiceover Sexually-oriented content.

1:07 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:08 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline. With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:20 Voiceover Hey buddy, it's Loveline, am I Adam? That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew is where tonight, Drew?

1:28 Drew Pittsburgh. Because somebody dropped a nickel.

1:31 Adam You have to wait till I say why. Why is Dr. Drew in Pittsburgh? Because somebody dropped a nickel. There we go. Jeff Probst is in studio tonight from my favorite show, Survivor. What up, Drew? Guatemala. This season and always exciting, always provocative. I love the big spiderweb rope challenge last week and the tug of war. And people are getting their butts kicked and it's awesome. I love it.

2:01 Jeff Probst It's been a savage season.

2:04 Adam And it's the 11th season, which is unbelievable. But it's not the 11th year. It's the 11th year. Right. But, you know, I think as I watch Survivor, it just sort of makes me think about pro sports. It's like when you used to watch football, when I grew up watching football, guys got tackled, they wrapped their arms around a guy and pull him down to the ground. Now some 300 pound brother just goes sailing in the air over three guys and puts his helmet in the small of someone's back. And that's a tackle. It's been up. Right. It is, you know, early Survivor was, you know, here's a canteen, here's a snakebite kit. What do you want from home? Oh, you want to bring a generator and a big screen TV? Fantastic. We'll only give you 30 pounds of beans. 600 burgers to live off of. Now we're just going to cut you and throw you in the ocean. This is, I mean, I could only imagine what the, and I'm sure the people in season 25 will be looking back at season 11 and saying, well, you guys weren't hobbled before the show. At least Probst didn't take a sledgehammer and break your right foot like they do to us. We had it tough. You guys just didn't have anything.

3:14 Jeff Probst And you know, you can't go backwards.

3:16 Adam You can't.

3:17 Jeff Probst You do have to keep moving forward. And every season that we try to design the new creative, that's what goes through our head is, okay, we're not giving them anything because we've already established that. How much more can we do? So this time we start with an 11 mile trek through the jungle, which kicked their ass.

3:32 Adam Well, let me tell you how you can go back. Somebody dies, then you got to slide back.

3:38 Drew Yeah, I was going to say, how do you avoid getting all these tropical illnesses? How do you avoid it?

3:43 Adam How does Jeff avoid it? He's in a Ramada in Guatemala.

3:47 Jeff Probst You know, that's a good question.

3:48 Adam What is the worst thing you've got beside a bad hand job on one of these trips?

3:52 Jeff Probst You know, I have not gotten any kind of an illness. I've had a couple of the intestinal stuff that goes around because of our catering. You know what, here's the worst thing.

4:04 Adam Oh, local, local catering.

4:05 Jeff Probst No, it's worse than that. It's our own guys. We have a mess tent with, you know, it's just like you're in the army and you come in and there's 10 little tins and they have like lasagna in one and then this other stew in the other. And guys come in with their, they've been out in the field all day and they don't wash their hands and they come in and they beat that big spatula and they get themselves some lasagna and then they put it back and you grab it. And our doctor always tells us, he goes, your biggest risk of disease is our own food because it's all of our people contaminating.

4:34 Adam Hand to mouth, Drew always says it all the time, that's how it gets spread around, right Drew?

4:39 Drew Absolutely, but do they have you take in anti-malarial meds or anything?

4:43 Jeff Probst Yeah, we take anti-malaria and we get lots of shots for the places we go, but you're right, it's surprising that we don't get more.

4:50 Drew Leishmania or Tsutsugamushi or something.

4:53 Jeff Probst No, but a couple of places that we've gone, we have to, what's that, elephantitis?

4:59 Drew Yeah, filarial disease, yeah for sure.

5:00 Jeff Probst Yeah, and they give you the pill to take for that, and it just, it looks like it knocks a decade off your life. It's got so much punch in it.

5:09 Adam Jawbreaker size.

5:10 Jeff Probst I've yet to take one.

5:11 Drew It's better than the giant testy that we've become of us.

5:14 Adam Here's the thing, Jeff Probst is obviously superior hearty stock.

5:20 Drew Yeah.

5:20 Adam I mean, this guy's a survivor. Well, look at him, man-day idol, good looks, he's scrappy, he's a survivor. You know what, speak, you know, a Corolla would have been taken down in season three.

5:31 Drew Oh, hell yes. But speaking of it now, good looks. I'm looking at a two page spread in Rolling Stone about you.

5:37 Adam Yeah, yeah, the TLC show, the crazy project. Yeah.

5:43 Drew How's that going to work for him?

5:44 Adam The the other show I do, I'm going to be doing on TLC, which starts in a week or a week from yesterday is they're going nuts they're getting like billboards and Rolling Stone and all kinds of stuff. Yeah, it's nice because I've been doing this for 10 years, Man Show, Loveline, all that stuff. No one ever got a billboard out or anything. TLC, you know what TLC is? TLC is like a fat horny chick just dying to do anything. You know what I mean? Comedy Central is like the hot blonde cheerleader, you know, MTV. MTV is the hot blonde dyke. Like fat, get away with that penis. You've got nothing for me. TLC is just that fat chick with the bad skin and you're like listen, I got a shot. Start sucking. Wow. Yeah.

6:32 Jeff Probst Can you say that?

6:33 Adam I think I did. And they're and they're and let me tell you something. When they're done giving you the BJ, they're like, thank you. When can we do this again?

6:41 Jeff Probst And you're like, let me jot this down. What is this Mr. Corolla?

6:43 Adam TLC Discovery Network. I got to tell you, the Learning Channel, these people are excited over at TLC. So God bless them.

6:52 Drew Speaking of excited, tonight, like every night this week, we're giving away another iPod Nano. And this tonight, you have to listen for the music from System of a Down. The song is called Question. They'll be in our bumper music as we come out of commercial. I bet in the second hour, it's just my guess. And first person to say iPod Nano to the screener. If you're 18 years of older, you'll win the Nano and 10 iTunes.

7:13 Adam Yeah. And don't screw up. Like last last night, someone said iPod. And then they use the N word. Yeah.

7:20 Jeff Probst That's no good.

7:21 Adam Yeah. No, you're not going to get a Nano for that. You you I know it was an honest mistake, but we need the word Nano to come out of your mouth.

7:28 Jeff Probst And that's right.

7:29 Yeah. Yeah.

7:30 Adam And it was late. Now, you know, we cut him a break, but they're not going to get the Nano with that kind of language. Jeff, when you go on these trips, you got to take, you got to take one of these things with you. You got to take the iPod and a metric ton of porn. That's basically that's how I would pack, like one small suitcase with clothes and toiletries and then a pallet of porn.

7:50 Jeff Probst It's a whole new world now because I got my woman coming to location.

7:54 Drew Is she there tonight?

7:55 Jeff Probst No porn.

7:56 Adam She's not here tonight, but she's got to go with them to Guatemala or wherever.

7:59 Drew And she's listening tonight. She's certainly listening, right?

8:01 Jeff Probst You know what? Actually, I left her. I put her on some Ambien. She's knocked her out.

8:08 Drew What happened?

8:10 Jeff Probst She's just been down. So I said, all right, pop an Ambien. I'll see you in a couple of hours.

8:13 Adam She's lucky Jeff didn't dart her because Jeff's got that choker. He's wearing the khakis. You get out of line with Jeff. He'll dart your ass. Ask any woman to be with Jeff. He'll dart you, put you right down on a futon. You better hope you hit something soft after he darts you.

8:28 Jeff Probst Just go right down. By the way, let me just say the last time I saw you guys was this ridiculous, softball game.

8:35 Adam That's right.

8:35 Drew Yes.

8:36 Jeff Probst And I just would like to give a little shout out to the Gnome from Lord of the Rings. And that's all I'm going to say.

8:41 Adam Yeah. He was one of the Mackenzie, Sean Astin, one of those Astin.

8:47 Drew Mackenzie Astin. Here's where they were both there.

8:51 Adam I played a bunch of those games and I've really realized that the Astin brothers, Mackenzie or Sean or whoever, they became celebrities so they could infiltrate these baseball games and kick everyone's ass. That's really what happened. They're like double agents in the Cold War or something like, I don't think anyone's interested in acting or movies or anything. They just do it. They're actually professional ballplayers who take acting kicks so they can come in and mop up on the softball field.

9:17 Jeff Probst I've never felt less cool, I don't think ever than that. That was the most closed in, sort of too cool for school group of folks. Interesting to be a part of.

9:29 Adam The thing too is it's hard to look good in a baseball uniform and sneakers. Like if you're wearing the cleats, you're fine. Any kind of uniform, football uniform and sneakers, baseball and sneakers, it's always a bad look. It's the fat manager. That's the look that he had.

9:46 Drew He sports, but we had softball uniforms that was even worse.

9:49 Adam Yeah, you still look like, you look like hell.

9:52 Jeff Probst Yeah, you can put the cap on backwards, doesn't really help. There's still something not right.

9:56 Adam But you know, Probst fills out, he fills out a jersey quite nice now.

10:00 Drew Marie?

10:02 Yeah.

10:02 Adam You're 26?

10:04 Caller Yes, I am.

10:05 Adam What's up?

10:06 Caller All right, well, I'm calling because I am very confused about the fact that my boyfriend actually seems to be answering ads on their, I don't know if you guys are familiar with it, but Craig's List.

10:17 Drew Oh, yeah.

10:18 Caller Casual encounters, man on man kind of thing.

10:22 Drew He's answering the ads or he's setting up appointments with these people.

10:25 Caller Well, yeah, I guess so because he's not placing the ads, but he's obviously answering them.

10:31 Adam How do you know?

10:32 Caller Well, I was looking for a resume I sent out of my sense holder items in a Yahoo and I found a sense like message for a big, you know, hold on a second.

10:45 Adam It makes me realize that the computer is the male form of the diary. And we made it thousands of years without the diary, never being stupid enough to keep the diary, the male. Females get busted left and right. There's not a girl who made it through high school without stepdad came in, came into the room, read you were smoking a joint with Billy Johnson at the reservoir and you got the second base and now you're grounded. And I would always be yelling at him, why are you so stupid as you write down all that crap you do in a little book? Your mom's going to find it. The computer has become this for men. They're getting popped left and right.

11:22 Drew Because the men leave a trail.

11:23 Adam There's dates and time stamps. Yeah, I mean, you know that it was 2 22 in the a.m. on the night of the 25th on Tuesday morning when he was sitting at this computer. There's no like, that doesn't look like something I would do. No, it's all there.

11:37 Jeff Probst Yeah.

11:38 Caller By the way, guys pull that too.

11:39 Drew They pull that crap. Oh, no, no.

11:42 Jeff Probst You can't rip the page out either.

11:43 Adam I know.

11:44 Jeff Probst It's there.

11:45 Adam It used to be, you know, you just, you'd use a cigarette lighter right into the fireplace. Like an old Bond movie or something. Now it's all logged. It's in that computer. And you're not smart enough to clean your trail completely. Believe me, somebody could go up there who knows a little something about it, a little something about the, you know, PC or a little something about the Mac and pull it right out.

12:07 Jeff Probst Well, and let's be fair here. And maybe I'm exposing too much myself.

12:11 Adam Go, baby.

12:11 Jeff Probst I mean, you've got the world at your fingertips.

12:15 Adam Yeah, it's hard not to look.

12:16 Jeff Probst Yeah, you're sitting at the office or you're sitting at home or wherever you are. I'm sure guys surf porn all the damn time.

12:23 Adam Sure. Until their girlfriends are traveling with them and gets in the tent. No, they can't do it anymore.

12:28 Jeff Probst Don't know. No, can't do it. Don't need to do it.

12:31 Adam Yes. You know what? I think Jeff is a man of passion as you are, Drew.

12:37 Drew Yes.

12:37 Adam I have learned this from Jeff. He is a man of exquisite passion. Drew's a man of passion.

12:44 Jeff Probst Okay, what does that mean?

12:47 Adam Well, look in the mirror, you'll find your answer. No, here's the thing. You have an appetite, an energy for life and lust. A lust for lust. People say lust for life, but here's the thing. A guy like me, I could probably do with sex once a week. I'm a little more casual about it. It's like you approach your passion like some people are with food. There's some people, it's not that big a deal to them. They don't need to go out to a nice four-star restaurant every night. They don't even need to eat every fifth night. And then there are those people that just enjoy it. They love it. It's a passion. You have a passion for passion.

13:30 Jeff Probst I do.

13:30 Adam Drew has a passion for passion as well.

13:34 Jeff Probst Is that a bad thing?

13:35 Adam No, it's not. It's not, but it's just a sort of supercharged libido is what it is.

13:43 Jeff Probst I don't know about that.

13:45 Adam He's humping my leg right now, Drew, and saying he doesn't know about that. Of course, of course. Well, no one is as passionate as Dr. Drew, but here's how you answer the passion question.

13:54 Jeff Probst Yeah, because I don't even know where you're getting this from.

13:56 Adam Well, I'll tell you what we've worked out. I can tell a pattern. I sit next to a man who oozes passion every night, so I'm in the presence of passion, I can feel it. My spidey sense tingles.

14:10 Drew See, if you don't want to take a nap, he feels it.

14:13 Adam I label you as a passionate man. No, here's the thing. Drew, and I think this is a pretty good litmus test for this, Drew, correct me if I'm wrong. Drew prefers coitus.

14:26 Drew I can't believe we're getting into this.

14:28 Adam Drew, here's the deal. Drew would rather perform coitus on Rosie O'Donnell than get oral from Claudia Schiffer.

14:40 Drew No, no, no, no.

14:41 Adam You know what I mean? Yeah, thank you, Drew. Come on, Drew. You are that passionate. You're that passionate a man. All right. Well, somewhat. Maybe I used a little hyperbole, but the point is, the man of passion does not want to lay back and have something performed on him. He wants to get into something and be on something and be doing something to somebody. You know what I mean? And to me, we've done a little survey and the guys who enjoy getting the oral, those are the less passionate guys.

15:11 Drew Those guys also enjoy napping.

15:13 Adam Yeah, and basically what it is, is like, But wait, I like all three of those.

15:18 Jeff Probst I like the giving and the napping.

15:20 Adam Wow. Well, the giving, that's a passionate man too, because that's just a bone you toss out so you can get.

15:27 Jeff Probst No, no.

15:28 Adam You hear that passion, Drew?

15:29 Jeff Probst Yeah, I'm a passionate guy then. Yeah. And I hope it stays that way till I hope I die in the middle of passion.

15:36 Adam That would be an interesting story.

15:39 Drew Now we're back to Maria. Back to Maria.

15:40 Adam Yeah, yeah. She hopes she dies in the middle of passion.

15:45 Drew I feel your pain. I feel it.

15:47 Caller Wait, what am I?

15:48 Jeff Probst Am I the minority here?

15:50 Adam No, no, no. No, that is the way to go.

15:52 Drew Jeff, Jeff, I'm with you. I'm 100% with you.

15:55 Adam You could be backed over by a street cleaner or-

15:58 Drew No, no, Jeff.

15:59 Adam Or die in the midst of passion.

16:00 Drew I've never felt so close to you, Jeff, as tonight.

16:02 Caller Okay. This is good.

16:03 Drew All right.

16:04 Adam I don't know if you two should be in the same room together, though, with the amount of-

16:07 Drew I'm realizing it. It's a good thing I'm in Pittsburgh. So anyways, Marie had a slightly bogus quality about her, if you noticed.

16:14 Caller I'm just saying, like, so you think that this is just, he's just a very passionate man and you can-

16:19 Adam Yeah, it's bogus. Bogus, yeah. Very bogus.

16:23 Jeff Probst You guys are good.

16:24 Adam Yeah. It's bogus, Marie.

16:26 Drew You know what she did? She put too much, she actually put too much detail in.

16:31 Adam Yeah, she did.

16:31 Caller She put any detail into it. I'm just saying, I found an email of my boyfriend answering ads that are-

16:38 Drew All right, well, here's the deal.

16:38 Adam Well, what's your question? It's a horrible thing.

16:41 Caller My question is, so is it possible that a guy can just sit there and answer Craigslist ads just to self-stimulation?

16:50 Drew Or am I just out of my mind? No, he's doing something. No, no, he's going ahead with, he's up to something.

16:55 Adam Yeah, well, interesting. Like, I think a guy who liked cars a lot could sit on the computer and look at cars for sale and see what these things were going for.

17:04 Jeff Probst And never buy one.

17:05 Adam I ever pulled out the checkbook. But when it comes to sex, it's kind of a different thing. Now, if you're looking at pornography, that's something else. But if you're just going back and forth and looking at, you know, want ads, I think something's going on.

17:17 Drew Maria's thinking like a woman. She's thinking, well, maybe he engages in some intimate dialogue with him and that's stimulating for him.

17:24 Caller No, no, no, no, no, not for two years, though. That's what I'm wondering.

17:28 Adam He's probably been doing this for all two years.

17:31 Caller That's what I'm thinking. That's why I'm wondering, is it normal? Do I just kind of overlook it?

17:36 Jeff Probst No, no, no, no, no, don't overlook it.

17:38 Adam God bless you for even bringing it up. You have a sister?

17:42 Drew The overlooking part.

17:44 Adam Yeah. Maria, what's wrong with you? What's your nationality? You come from one of these cultures where you have to overlook things? What's that?

17:51 Caller It's French.

17:51 Adam French?

17:52 Drew No.

17:53 Adam You, of all people, should know about passion, know how this works.

17:57 Caller I know, but I just kind of like to fool myself and think that I just finally picked the right guy.

18:02 Adam No.

18:03 Drew Denial. You would say it that way. Right. She finally, guys, you continue to pick bad guys.

18:11 Caller Well, I thought I did. So you guys think that this is it?

18:14 Drew No, I don't know. I mean, but he's up to something. That's what we'll tell you.

18:18 Adam Well, and here's the thing too. If three of your last boyfriends cheated on you, there's a decent chance the fourth one is because that's what you're attracted to.

18:28 Drew Well, if you're very attracted to him, then you're in. The guy's a cheater.

18:32 Adam You're not attracted to cheaters, you're attracted to guys who possess all the building blocks of cheating and those guys cheat. It's not like the idea that they cheat, but you like that guy. That kind of guy. That kind of guy, yes. All right, let's see. We got Brian over here. Ooh, here's a salty question. William?

18:53 Caller Hey, how are you doing?

18:54 Adam 22?

18:55 Yes, sir.

18:56 What's up?

18:58 Caller All right, I'm dating this woman right now. I notice that she has a large labia, a lot larger than most women that I've been with.

19:06 It looks like a good old piece of roast beef, basically.

19:09 Caller I don't know, sorry, but I was wondering, all my knucklehead buddies told me that she's probably been around with a bunch of guys and whatnot.

19:15 Drew No, nothing to do with it. Nothing to do with it. Yeah, some women have the internal labia come out, stick out from the outside. The labia menorah stick through the labia majora basal.

19:26 Adam Would not slow down the passionate Jeff Probst, by the way.

19:29 Jeff Probst It's just more beauty.

19:31 Adam You put an MAD in that thing, he would keep going. Just could not slow him down.

19:35 Drew There are procedures to reduce that. A lot of people do that these days. There's a laser procedure that's kind of elegant, but it's no big deal.

19:41 Jeff Probst I take exception, though, to the not slow down, because part, as Drew will know, of being passionate.

19:46 Drew It gets in the way.

19:47 Jeff Probst Yeah, it's not just that. It's not just that. No. You just slow down in quotes, but actually slowing down, of course.

19:54 Adam Rhythmic.

19:55 Jeff Probst Let me tell you, if you want a little fun activity, ambient.

19:59 Adam Oh, really?

20:01 Drew Oh, my gosh.

20:02 Jeff Probst Ambient.

20:03 Adam Really?

20:03 Jeff Probst Well, look, if it's one of those-

20:04 Drew That's your girlfriend.

20:05 Adam It's way, way down.

20:07 Jeff Probst Drew, I'm not saying- I'm not hooked on ambient.

20:09 Adam I'm all ears.

20:10 Jeff Probst Okay.

20:10 Adam That's the first thing you say when you're strung out. Go ahead.

20:13 Jeff Probst But, like, I started-

20:14 Adam It's not hooked on. How could a celebrity possibly get strung out in a movie?

20:19 Drew That's a tour of the world throughout the year.

20:21 Adam How could that happen? It's impossible. 300,000 miles on the road.

20:25 Jeff Probst But I will admit that ambient has some fun side effects. And it's called-

20:32 Drew It delays ejaculation, as does Vicodin and Percocet.

20:35 Jeff Probst Well, I wasn't even thinking that. I was just thinking. It's kind of like a little bit of a- You know what it is, is if you take the ambient and then you don't let it put you to sleep yet, and you stay awake, you start to kind of see little monkeys.

20:49 Adam It's a little euphoric.

20:50 Jeff Probst Yeah, it's a little interesting, yeah.

20:52 Adam Interesting. It's nice. I'm with Jeff in that it's nice to get out of your space a little and get it on every once in a while. And that space sometimes lies inside your own skull. Yeah. Yeah, I'm hip. I'm hip to that.

21:08 Drew I think Jeff's high right now.

21:09 Adam But here's, here's the thing, here's. I think he is.

21:14 Caller I think he is.

21:15 Adam Here's the, he's a total pro. How dare you? Here's, here's, here's the whole thing about that though. What, here's the danger. The ambient or the Coke or the booze or whatever it is. Or the ecstasy. Or the ecstasy. It's the same danger as sort of the vibrating butterfly thing or whatever it is, which is, you start digging it. Yeah. And then this becomes the way you do business. It's like, going to get it on. Oh, we got to pop an ambient. And before you know it, that just becomes the plateau that you start from every time. And that's the problem. You have, here's the whole thing. It's, it's awesome, but it has to be like, back to my meal reference, it has to be like the Thanksgiving turkey with the trimmings, not every meal. Exactly.

21:54 Jeff Probst And make no mistake.

21:55 Adam And it loses its meaning if you do it that way.

21:58 Jeff Probst Yeah. I, I don't take ambient anywhere close to regular.

22:01 Adam Sure, sure.

22:01 Jeff Probst No, no, sure, sure. But, but I'm just-

22:04 Adam So I brought it up three times in the first 15 minutes of the show.

22:06 Jeff Probst You know, you know what actually where it came from is we do these little film festivals on Survivor. While we're on location, we, in your spare time, you make a three minute movie and then we have a film festival. Really?

22:17 Adam Yeah. Just a crew and- Crew.

22:19 Jeff Probst All that. Some talented guys make some fun little movies. Well about two years ago, I had never heard of Ambien and this film came out called Ambien Olympics and they got like 12 guys on a day off and they put them out on this piece of dirt and they all took Ambien and then they started doing these playing tennis and running around and jumping over things. It was the funniest film I'd ever seen. That's when I figured out what-

22:41 Adam See, who could function the best.

22:43 Jeff Probst While trying not to fall asleep.

22:45 Adam Right.

22:45 Jeff Probst That's what we do on Survivor in our downtime.

22:47 Adam Awesome. Awesome.

22:49 Jeff Probst Fascinating.

22:49 Adam Jeff Probst is here tonight from Survivor. Guatemala is where they're currently at Thursday nights at 8 o'clock. For my money, best show on television. I enjoy the show. I do the dance every Thursday. It's the only thing my wife likes about me. It really is. We could be arguing. It could be coming to blows. She'd be screaming at me. But if they do the dance, she yells at the dog, look at him. Look at him. And then I do the Survivor dance in front of TV, usually a bathrobe or towel. And it's usually some sack exposure. Well, now I've modified it where I actually get down on the ground at a certain point. I do the Survivor dance to the beginning of each show. And once you establish it with your old lady, it's like something you do with a retarded kid. You know, it knocks their socks off. You got to do it every time you come in.

23:43 Jeff Probst Let me just say though, Corolla, you have to be careful with the Survivor dance. Because here's the problem. You start doing it too often and it loses its impact.

23:52 Adam Wow, touche, touche, my friend, touche. See, if he was high on Ambien, he could not have formulated that. Yeah, oh no, that's a Darvus set. That's that, that's what was speaking. Jeff Probst in studio tonight. Drew is in Pittsburgh. Yes. And we'll take a quick break. Be right back after this.

24:19 Caller Love Line is brought to you by Vibrations, the award-winning vibrating condom ring.

24:34 Drew Hey, everybody.

24:35 Adam It's Love Line, man. That's Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew is in Pittsburgh tonight. Why?

24:41 Drew Because somebody, somebody, somewhere dropped a nickel.

24:45 Adam Yeah. Well, in Pittsburgh, though, right?

24:48 Drew Yeah. Well, somewhere it happened. I had to go get it.

24:50 Adam That's right. That's how Drew works. He's like Matt Lauer. Somebody, but without the money incentive. Somebody drops a nickel somewhere, Drew's super sensitive ear hears it. I mean, you could drop it on carpet, shag carpet.

25:02 Jeff Probst What's the Matt Lauer reference?

25:04 Adam Matt Lauer was was was doing this this stunt where it'd be like, where in the world is Matt Lauer? And he would show up in Italy and he would show us all some sort of Good Morning America thing from like a year ago. I never watched it. I just saw it today. Just see, Drew knows. All right. Anyway, point is someone dropped the nickel. Drew's in Pittsburgh. Jeff Probst is here tonight for my favorite TV show, Survivor. They're in Guatemala now.

25:29 Drew Actually, let me just say something. I'm actually a supporting National Alcohol Awareness Week, Recovery Month. This is cool stuff I'm doing out here.

25:36 Adam So you're not not for the money.

25:38 Drew No.

25:39 Adam OK. All right. What month is it?

25:42 Drew National Alcohol Awareness and Recovery Month.

25:44 Jeff Probst It's also National Childhood Cancer Awareness Month.

25:47 Caller Wow.

25:49 Adam Shouldn't shouldn't you guys be finding out to see whose month it is?

25:52 Jeff Probst No, because Drew and I are both passionate guys in life and we share.

25:56 Adam You share a passion.

25:57 Jeff Probst Yeah, we share a passion and we share cancer and alcoholism support.

26:00 Adam Wow.

26:01 Drew I'm doing I'm doing a special with Lance Armstrong about cancer survivorship be on October 9th, Discovery Health Channel.

26:06 Adam Oh, really?

26:07 Drew Yeah.

26:07 Jeff Probst Well, I'll be doing a set at Giggles Comedy Club in Alamai.

26:12 Adam Jeff will be doing a stand up routine about passion. See, that's the whole thing of one day when you do do stand up, you'll have to do an hour and a half and it'll all be survivor stuff. That's what they'll want you to do. I, by the way, people think I'm just kissing Jeff's ass. I love this show. I just do. The format is so strong and Jeff always surprises me a little when I tell him the show is gonna go on forever and he's like, well, keep your fingers crossed. And I'm always like, how could it not? I mean, it's just the format is so much stronger than anything else in the reality genre and the idea that they're having the immunity challenge and the reward challenge and the people are going at it. It's just, and the settings are spectacular now. Two, that it's just, how can you miss? I look forward to it. I look forward to the dance every Thursday night.

27:09 Drew I look forward to some calls this segment. We did one call last segment. One, don't take any calls though, Adam. Do not take calls.

27:15 Adam Do not take any calls. Don't take any calls.

27:17 Don't do it.

27:18 Drew Zero.

27:18 Adam Oh, now both of you don't want to take.

27:20 Don't, don't.

27:20 Adam Just don't.

27:21 Drew Don't take any.

27:21 Adam This is funny, isn't it, Michelle, these two telling me not to take a call?

27:24 Oh, pow!

27:25 Adam How do you like me now? Nick?

27:27 Yes, sir?

27:28 Adam That's right, I'm talking to you. You know why?

27:30 Why?

27:31 Adam Because Jeff and Drew thought they could manipulate me. They thought they could push me around like they pushed their ladies around. But I'll tell you something, I'm no bitch. I don't got boobs. I got a hairy ass. I stand for myself and nobody, and I don't care if you got a psychology degree, Drew. You can't fool the ace man. I know what I'm doing. You don't want me to take a call? Pow, I take a call. What do you think? That's called independence, my friend.

27:53 Drew I want you to not stop talking.

27:55 Oh.

28:00 Adam Yeah.

28:01 Drew Nick, what's going on?

28:03 Adam Nick?

28:04 Yeah.

28:05 Adam What's up?

28:05 Hey, Adam.

28:06 Adam Yeah.

28:07 Adam.

28:08 Adam Corolla. Yeah, we're trying to get the pool game Marco Polo switched over to Corolla.

28:13 Jeff Probst Okay.

28:13 Adam Yeah, be nice.

28:14 Jeff Probst I'll work on that.

28:15 Adam If you start talking about it on the show, it would be awesome.

28:16 Jeff Probst Okay, it'd be great.

28:18 Adam Well, I mean, if there's a water challenge, you know, yeah, and people may play Marco Polo, just say if we could change it to Adam Corolla. It's been 800 years. It's time. Time for change.

28:28 Jeff Probst Maybe we should just get rid of the tribe of spoken and say, Adam Corolla. And they say Corolla and you snuff the torch.

28:35 Adam That'd be so awesome. I know you're sort of half kidding, but really be awesome if you could do that. My wife would love it.

28:42 Caller Nick.

28:43 Yes, sir.

28:44 Drew Go ahead, buddy.

28:46 I've been getting into a lot of I got into trouble at work and I realized I might have a problem. I find myself with multiple partners all the time. You know, I know I'm 20, so I'm supposed to be sexually active, but I work in an auto shop and I found myself in the bathroom looking up porn on my on my Internet phone.

29:08 Drew Yeah, so are you feel you're sexually addicted or compulsed?

29:12 I think it's compulsive.

29:13 Caller You know, it's were you.

29:14 Drew Here's the simple questions. Were you sexually abused when you're growing up?

29:18 Caller Um, I think that there was. I know my father always beat me up. I know my father sexually abused my little brother.

29:26 Drew All right. Are you are you an alcoholic or addict?

29:29 Caller Um, no, I don't do drugs. I drink occasionally, but I had to quit drinking because I was becoming an alcoholic.

29:36 Adam All right.

29:37 Let me. All right.

29:39 Adam Let me just say, Drew, I know I know I've been wrong about this the last 30 times. I've tried it, but I really got a feeling about this one. Calling from Arizona works it off. Auto body place, dancing, alcoholic, sexual abuse, physical abuse, addicted to porn, Jew. You're Jewish. Aren't you, Nick?

29:57 Caller No, sir. I'm not.

29:58 Adam Oh, my God.

30:00 Jeff Probst It did line up.

30:01 Adam It just all came together. Yeah. It's just anyone who knows Jewish families. Know that this is auto body and it's right. Just can't believe I've been right in the 50 times. I've tried.

30:11 Jeff Probst Matt Locke for the record. I think Matt Locke would have come to the same conclusion.

30:14 Adam Absolutely. And Matt Lauer for another Matt Lauer reference. Nick, what is your nationality?

30:21 Caller I am I am Lakota Sioux.

30:24 Adam Oh, boy.

30:24 Caller That sounds so maybe that's yeah.

30:26 Drew Yeah, that's where that gene comes from. Oh, yes. That's something that needs to be treated, buddy.

30:32 Adam Well, at least but here's the thing, Nick, here's the good side. In true, there is genetic differences between people as much as we like to pretend there isn't that lead you to be more attracted to certain things such as alcohol. Right. I mean, American American Indian, that that's a different gene than the Jewish American gene as far as booze goes, for instance.

30:56 Drew That's right.

30:57 Adam Ironically, the sue, not not something that with the booze, although the Jews do the suing, it's something I'll connect one day and I'll show you how that works. I got a chart.

31:06 Drew Did you give me Adam's Bambi in during the break or something?

31:09 Adam Oh, you got it?

31:09 Jeff Probst Are you carrying? Are you carrying? I know I got a half.

31:13 Adam Okay.

31:13 Drew All right. But here's the deal.

31:14 Adam Here's where I'm going to shake him by his ankles, still falls out of it.

31:16 Drew Here's the way I would look at Nick's thing is that Nick was an alcoholic who tried not to drink and spun out of control behaviorally. So really he needs to go back and have his alcoholism properly treated, get involved with AA, do a 12-step program, and you will see some of the sexual stuff. If you're honest with your sponsor about what you're doing, this stuff will settle down as well.

31:35 Adam All right, Nick. Take care. You're 20. You're fine. You're asking the right questions.

31:40 Drew Yeah, you're nipping this in the butt. Right, right, exactly.

31:42 Adam And alcohol, because Drew confuses people sometimes by just saying alcoholic, but that is almost just like an energy that's in you, and if you cut the booze off it, it'll go another direction.

31:55 Drew Exactly, it's a drive.

31:57 Adam It's something you need to extinguish, not redirect. Right, right. Because you'll be addicted to gambling, or you'll be doing base jumping and throwing a parachute out over you. Or you'll have to put an ambient in a bank, and somebody will work with. I mean, it'll spin out in a million different directions.

32:14 Drew It tends to be, it tends to be thrill activities, thrill behavior.

32:18 Adam Thrill activities. That's right, that's right. All right, let's see, who do I want to talk to? Ooh, Sarah, Sarah Cutter, daughter, 12 year old daughter looking at porn on the internet. Sarah? You're 30?

32:33 Caller Yes.

32:34 Adam What's up?

32:36 Caller My 12 year old daughter, I had suspected her of going online and looking at porn because I had a whole bunch of pop-ups that were coming up that were just actually porn. So at first I accused my husband of it and he was like, no, no, no. So then I talked to her and she denied it and then a couple of days later, she wrote me a note admitting to it and saying that she has a problem and she said she just can't stop looking at it and she wants help. So now I don't know what to do with her.

33:07 Adam And she pulled up the driveway in a new Pony, too, but Sarah's not suspicious it's still the husband. Because that's what I'd be, sweetie, sign this. Sign this goddamn note. Daddy wrote it in crayon, now sign. You want the Pony? You want the sign? We must never speak of this. Seriously, I would be keeping an eye on your daughter if she got the new Barbie dream van or something she'd been looking for and not near Christmas or a birthday or something.

33:33 Jeff Probst How impressive, though, of a 12-year-old girl to do that.

33:36 Drew Yes, I agree.

33:37 Adam Yeah, the note. I still would do some handwriting samples. Yeah, there's a guy behind this, but wow.

33:46 Caller No, my husband doesn't lie. He knows I don't care if he did, so.

33:51 Adam Oh, really?

33:52 Caller He lies, so.

33:53 Adam She's cool, Adam. Interesting. Interesting.

33:56 What, do you not?

33:57 Adam Hold on though, one just second.

33:58 Caller What I care about is the spyware on my computer. That's what I care about, so.

34:02 Adam No, I understand that, but the part we say you don't care about your husband just sounds like you've given up on him.

34:07 Caller No, no, no. I mean. You're just cool. Not that I don't care about him, but if he wants to look at porn, I mean, who cares? I know he's an honest person and we're very committed to each other, so we're wiser than either of us.

34:19 Adam That's one more night you don't have to fake an orgasm.

34:24 Jeff Probst Oh, man, you really are lacking a passion gene.

34:27 Caller Yeah, he really is.

34:29 Drew Oh, yes, he is. Oh, come live with him for a little while.

34:32 Adam That's the only thing I'm passionate about.

34:33 Drew He sucks passion out of me.

34:35 Adam I wrung him dry like a bar rag. Drew came in here dripping with passion. I sucked them all up like a shop vac.

34:42 Drew All right.

34:42 Adam We'll replenish. Filled with Drew's passion.

34:45 Drew All right.

34:46 Adam I belch his passion. I taste Drew's passion when I belch. Yes, Drew?

34:51 Drew Whatever.

34:52 Adam There's some of your passion.

34:53 Drew Yeah. All right, Sarah. Sarah, this is a serious deal. And one of the things I'm concerned with, and I hope this isn't your daughter, is that there's evidence that being exposed to explicit images at too young an age can sort of get some momentum going with some kids.

35:06 Adam She's 12.

35:07 Caller That's my concern.

35:09 Drew Yeah. And that can happen. And it's hard to know how to approach this. I think the best way is if she really she wants help, she wants the therapist to get her somebody. Right.

35:18 Caller I've already made an appointment. So I don't know. It's very.

35:23 Adam What grade is she in?

35:25 Caller She's in sixth grade.

35:26 Adam The sixth grade. Here's the thing. Here's the thing, Sarah. I know you worry and it's good that you do. But between your daughter writing the note allegedly and you calling and wanting advice and the therapists and stuff, she'll be fine. She really will. She really will be.

35:44 Drew Yeah. I thought you were.

35:45 Adam But here's the deal. If you freak her out too much, you're going to give her an eating disorder.

35:50 Drew But no, but you do need to create consequences just because kids need behavioral consequences and limits. And you just got to put some limits down and go, you know, but then, but don't get angry about it. Just so you know, this is to help you contain your behaviors. Here's what we're going to do because of decide what that is. Because it's fairly rare.

36:07 Adam How, but Drew, Drew, let's just be honest. When you were in the sixth grade and somebody said there's this magical porthole to the world, you know, look, you can do your homework on it if you like and, you know, look up capitals and Eastern block cities. But you can also just see nothing but porn if you like to. How long before you drifted over there? I don't care if you're in the third grade. I mean, you sit at that computer and someone says, oh yeah, you know that blonde lady from that Fox series stack? Yeah, well, there's stuff with her on a house.

36:40 Jeff Probst And there's always a kid who knows that stuff. There's always one kid.

36:43 Drew Right.

36:43 Jeff Probst It's a Corolla kid.

36:44 Adam Yeah. And where the hell are you going when that kid pots it up?

36:48 Drew He's just seeing how upset the parents were that Corolla was around. Oh my God. How many kids did he take down?

36:54 Adam I will tell you this. I got way more than one parent teacher conference where it wasn't between my parents and the teacher. It was between the kid who sat around me, the parents and the teacher, and my name got dropped many times and was actually banished for many a household, which is the kid would be doing okay except for... Yeah. It's like you would be fine in your home, but you've built on a polluted cesspool and the Corolla is the cancer that is creeping in your ground water.

37:25 Jeff Probst Were you the guy that would tell the other kids their... I won't even say it. Yeah. I got you. Yeah.

37:31 Adam I was the guy at school who was looking to do anything but whatever I was supposed to do and I could barely read, I couldn't write, I was sort of in this constant state of agitation and just sitting around with no air conditioning for 55 minutes, listening to some blowhard in a sweater vest talk about nothing. I just knew I couldn't tolerate it. It was like, it's how you would torture me.

37:56 Jeff Probst Well, think how that blowhard in the sweater vest who dedicates his life to teaching the youth of America now sees that lippy Corolla with 14 TV shows, radio show giving advice.

38:07 Adam Kiss my ass, you old blowhards. Take your crappy maverick back to your van eyes apartment and cry yourself to sleep into your hungry man dinner. I'm rich, I tell you, rich. Literally a millionaire.

38:21 Drew Yeah, I scoff at all you.

38:23 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

38:28 Adam All right, Jeff Probst and Sunday night will take.

38:30 Drew Wait, wait, wait, wait. I gotta finish with Sarah before you break.

38:33 Adam She's fine.

38:34 Drew Well, here's the one thing, you can't really do a 12 step process with somebody that young. She needs supervision. She needs help and support. And this is something that's going to evolve over time. It's not something that you're going to be able to take care of.

38:44 Caller She looked up a little porn.

38:45 Drew And she's going to be fine. But she's called wrote a letter saying she's compulsive and can't stop and she'll be fine.

38:50 Caller I agree.

38:51 Adam I swear to you, she probably did that to get a little of the heat off her. Like when a guy gets busted for cheating, he says he's addicted to sex and all of a sudden he's got a disease. He doesn't have to deal with the cheating label anymore. I think this kid's maniacal and I still think the dad did it. By the way, if I have kids and this kind of stuff happens, they're taking the bullet for almost everything.

39:17 Jeff Probst You're never going to have kids. You don't have any time to be passionate.

39:22 Adam I must store my passion and throw it at my wife's vagina. That's how I will have children. I swear to God, if I ruin the car and I have a three-year-old, I will throw the three-year-old in the car and call the old lady out. Look what this young demon did. I'll tell you, he's a demon seed. He's just a bassinet sitting on the roof. Look at him.

39:42 Drew Oh, another Corolla. Oh my God.

39:43 Adam I don't know how he learned to drive a stick. That's not the question. The question is, how do we discipline him? All right, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

39:55 Caller We'll be right back. Call on the 1-800-LOVE-191.

40:00 Adam Want to dress up your sex life? Visit durx.com. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew in Pittsburgh. Why? Because someone dropped a nickel. Jeff, perhaps in studio tonight, talking about Survivor Guatemala. Eleventh fabulous season. Love that show. Eight o'clock Thursday nights. CBS, and let me ask you this, because I was, I was, you know, I think Jeff, Jeff's a pretty, comes in here and he's honest, and we appreciate his candor, and there's certain things he can't tell us, and then certain things he will. Gary Hogoboom, who's the ex-quarterback, is on the show, and for the sports fans, you recognize the name, right? Because he's a pretty well-traveled pro, but I definitely wouldn't recognize the face. I've just recognized the Gary Hogoboom, and even that's a little bit of a stretch for most sports fans. He gets on the show, he's gonna keep his identity as an ex-professional football player on the QT, and a young chick fingers him. I don't mean fingers in the passionate way.

41:26 Jeff Probst She's a sports talk show host.

41:27 Adam She's a sports talk show host, but even so she's young, and I know she was in the city Hogoboom played for, whatever, but it just seems crazy that she would actually recognize him.

41:37 Jeff Probst So you're saying, do we help her?

41:39 Adam I'm saying, is there any help? Or do you, when you're casting, do you go, this guy's got a secret, we don't want him to keep this secret? For the whole show, this is someone who knows something. Well, that's not cheating. I mean, that's just making, that's just provocative casting.

41:55 Jeff Probst I don't know, I think it would be, you're getting on a slippery slope when you start doing that.

42:00 Adam Well, if you said, if you said, one guy is pretending to be a paleontologist.

42:06 Jeff Probst Who am I saying this to?

42:07 Adam Well, if you're casting the show, and we got a guy and he's claiming to be something, whatever it is, or claiming not to be something.

42:15 Jeff Probst If we put Hogoboom on the show, he's saying, listen, I will not say I'm a quarterback. Because I know I'll get voted off. We know that.

42:21 Adam Well, okay, let's say you do, yes.

42:23 Jeff Probst Because that's what happened. Hogoboom in casting said, I'll never say I'm a quarterback.

42:26 Adam Right, so you're trying to put together an interesting, provocative show. And I don't look at this as cooking it or cheating, but you say, well, it'd be nice if one of these other people could suss him out, because we don't want to go the whole season with this guy. And there's a good chance that no one's going to recognize Gary Hogoboom from his playing days 14 years ago. So you say, all right, well, look, we liked you anyway, but the fact that you used to do sports, that helps.

42:53 Jeff Probst Oh, absolutely. Right. Yeah, definitely. If you've got a gay guy and you have another guy who is telling you, you know what, I grew up in this part of the world and I don't like gay guys. I'm not comfortable with them. And if they tell me they're gay, I'll tell them they need to stay. Oh, yeah.

43:09 Adam You're in.

43:10 Jeff Probst Well, you're a much more appealing candidate, but we would never just to be clear, we would never say to Danny, recognize the taller guy?

43:20 Adam I don't know.

43:21 Jeff Probst I just thought you might in your line of work or something like that. You don't do that.

43:24 Adam That would be that would be hell.

43:26 Jeff Probst I'm amazed that it's taken this long for somebody to come in and lie full on about their occupation. Every season I ask people, they say, you know, I'm a paleontologist and I think, are you going to tell them that? Well, yeah. So yeah, I'm surprised they don't lie.

43:40 Adam It is it is interesting or you should just lie because you have a crappy job. Like you're a waiter or dental hygienist. I would just say, you know, pirate astronaut.

43:50 Jeff Probst Well, no, that's against you, though.

43:52 Drew But it's interesting that the game should begin during the application process, you're saying.

43:57 Adam Yeah, I mean, your strategy, you should start laying it out. I mean, I mean, or you can do your application. Let the producers know you have to actually actually do. But when you come in, don't tell people you're a fire chief battalion because they think, OK, this guy's this guy's strong. This guy's going to take over the game. Just tell them, you know, your day labor or something. You can get away with something.

44:19 Jeff Probst And that's what Hoga Boom's doing, saying, I have a landscaping business.

44:22 Adam Yeah. And here's the thing about landscaping is landscaping could mean that you actually know something about trees and shrubs and flora and fauna, or you're just digging ditches all day. No one's ever going to call you out on it. It's not like saying you're an attorney or your computer tech, and someone's going to ask you something technical. Right. That's smart. Yeah. All right, Drew.

44:40 Drew Well, we've taken three calls this show, so I don't want you to take it anymore. And remember the odd pod nano song, System of a Down, Question and a Bumper.

44:47 Jeff Probst I'm just going to say, because I'm not on very often, I'd love it if we didn't take any more. Oh, you would.

44:52 Drew I'm just asking as a favor.

44:53 Adam Let me tell you something about it. This is not your tribal council. You understand? I got no torch. You got no ladle to put on it. I'm the chief here.

45:01 Jeff Probst I'm the heavy. I dare you.

45:03 Adam Oh, you dare me because you don't think I will? Oh, I pressed the wrong one.

45:08 Caller Pow, pow.

45:10 Adam How you like me now, Probst? You want me to take another call?

45:13 Jeff Probst Keep talking.

45:14 Caller Keep talking.

45:16 Adam Karen?

45:17 Caller Adam.

45:18 Adam Corolla.

45:19 Caller All right.

45:20 Adam What's up? 20? Yeah.

45:22 Caller Yeah.

45:23 Adam Boring bit. Go ahead.

45:26 Caller When is I deep throat? And I wanted to know, could that cause any possible harm to the esophagus?

45:34 Drew Well, you don't go all the way to the esophagus.

45:36 Adam So, yeah, I barely get past the soft pound.

45:39 Caller It sounds like it does though.

45:41 Drew Yeah. Of course you can, you can aspirate and gag and then traumatize the area and cause STDs.

45:47 Adam Well, what about, where, with Drew, how far do you have to go to get to the esophagus?

45:53 Drew You have to get past the upper glottis. I mean, it's way down there.

45:56 Adam Well, now we're talking deep. So let's just say the upper glottis. Yeah. I mean, what, what, what, what would it take, Drew? Could you make it to the esophagus? I've seen you at the airport and at the urinal. Well, I'm just, you seem like a guy could.

46:12 Drew Yeah. I could reach it.

46:13 Adam Yeah. You just, it's just, you know, you got a few more knots in your twine than I do. That's all I'm saying.

46:19 Jeff Probst That's a great new, I'm, I'm esophagus capable. Right.

46:24 Adam You know, I'm, yeah, I get there. I could make it. It's like, you want to know the range of a car. You make the Frisco in one tank. Yeah. Yeah.

46:32 Drew Yeah. I couldn't make Santa Barbara. You say esophageal range, esophageal range.

46:36 Adam Oh, wow. Wow.

46:38 Drew That's good.

46:38 Adam That's a better warning track power.

46:41 Drew All right.

46:41 Adam So, so Karen, here's the thing. You will do damage if you, your body will let you know when you're doing damage, right? I mean, it'll hurt. It'll be weird.

46:49 Drew You can traumatize the air, but the thing concerns me is you're going to aspirate. Fluid can get into the lungs and that's a serious thing.

46:55 Adam Yeah. And then someone's going to have to tell your parents how you went.

46:58 Jeff Probst I think she just wanted us to know.

46:59 Drew And SDA.

47:00 Adam I think so too. What the hell was that? I don't know if that was bogus or not. We got to take a break. Jeff Probst is here from Survivor, greatest show on television. Thursday nights, eight o'clock, CBS, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

47:58 There, buddy, it's the Loveline.

48:00 Adam I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew is in Pittsburgh tonight. Why?

48:06 Drew Somebody dropped a nickel. And I've got to repeat, I've got to mention the iPod contest tonight a couple more times. You were so busy taking all those calls last time, it was hard for me to get this one in. But all you have to do is listen for the system of a down song question as a bumper at a commercial. Be the first person to get through it and say iPod Nano to the screener and you will win. You must be 18 years or older and you will also win a gift certificate from iTunes for 10 free downloads.

48:32 Adam Jeff Probst is here tonight. If I was gay, that's the direction I go.

48:38 Jeff Probst Yeah, but we wouldn't do anything because you got no badge.

48:41 Adam You know what? I think I would round it.

48:42 Drew Oh, but think what you could do to him.

48:43 Adam I think I would round it for you.

48:44 Drew Think what Jeff could do to you, Adam.

48:45 Adam Yeah, whatever. Give me an ambulance and ambulance, ambulance. Yeah, I would need one after I said, give me an ambient and just go to town. I sleep on my stomach.

48:55 Drew Nice.

48:56 Jeff Probst Oh, man. That's great.

49:00 Adam He's mopped me off with the Survivor Buff and just watch a little sports center. Yeah.

49:05 Jeff Probst Wow.

49:06 Adam I love that Survivor Buff.

49:09 Jeff Probst It's so versatile. All the things you can do if they wash right up.

49:12 Adam I'm amazed that there's two things that Jeff, I bring it up every time he comes in here, but they love that buff. And it's the only part of the show I'm not interested in is getting the Survivor Buff. And I don't know how much they cost or how many...

49:26 Jeff Probst 20 bucks. Are they 20? The most popular item at cbs.com is the Survivor Buff.

49:33 Adam Really?

49:34 Jeff Probst Yeah. More than a CSI hat.

49:36 Adam Really? Yeah. I guess I could see that. But shouldn't the money be going to some charity? 20 bucks for the Survivor Buff? Like, you know, shouldn't 15 of the 20 be going?

49:47 Jeff Probst Wouldn't that be great?

49:49 Adam Well, it would be nice because it's four cents worth of material that was made in China, you know. And again.

49:56 Jeff Probst I don't think so.

49:57 Adam All right. Well, how about that? Okay. Forget about giving that money to charity. But how about the one?

50:00 Jeff Probst It's not like I'm getting any of it.

50:02 Adam The other thing I beg Jeff to do every time he comes on here is enough of these stupid tribe names that I can't remember with the indigenous stuff. You go with some good American stuff like your tribe Turbo Max. And you guys are Nitro.

50:18 Jeff Probst That's American Gladiator.

50:19 Adam Yeah, that's what I want. I want something that sounds like a 13 year old boy named it, not a sensitive dyke.

50:26 Jeff Probst What's funny is we just were coming up with the names for next season.

50:30 Adam Turbo. Just get Turbo. You guys are a tribe. No, Stealth.

50:35 Jeff Probst Stealth is good.

50:36 Adam Stealth is good.

50:37 Jeff Probst Whoops, didn't see ya. Stealth, you're stealth.

50:40 Adam Of course you didn't. You didn't hear me coming either. Yeah, because I'm team. Yeah, well, Team Turbo's gonna outrun you guys. You know what I mean? Instead, it's always like, oh, planaglana, punapuna, and I don't care what it means.

50:51 Jeff Probst We just had this conversation via email and one guy's going, are these pronounceable?

50:55 Adam Yeah, they're not pronounceable. And no one wants to try. And here's the thing, we're Americans. We should be spreading our crappy culture on them, not absorbing their culture. You understand? I don't want to know about what it means. Oh, it's always Proud Warrior or whatever. Don't they have anything that means a hole? They have any words for that in these other cultures?

51:14 Jeff Probst You know what is amazing is how many cultures have the same thing. They have Spirit Rocks. They did executions as recently as 50 years ago and they eat chickens on Sundays.

51:24 Drew Well, they're not executions. They did like a human sacrifice.

51:28 Jeff Probst Yeah. You're right.

51:29 Adam Sacrifices.

51:29 Drew Yeah. All religions started in human sacrifice. It's bizarre.

51:33 Adam Please, please just put a vote in for the Ace man in the next episode.

51:38 Jeff Probst And one Corolla tribe.

51:40 Adam Corolla tribe would be nice and then stealth would also be acceptable.

51:44 Jeff Probst I'll work on that.

51:45 Adam I just want to cheer for team stealth. I can't remember that the Palacalapulapala. You know what I'm saying?

51:51 Jeff Probst But think about this. Stealth wins immunity. It just doesn't. You need like you need two syllables.

51:59 Drew No, no, I like stealth. I like it.

52:00 Adam Okay, well then you just.

52:01 Drew Nitro then.

52:02 Adam Nitro stealth. Nitro stealth.

52:04 Jeff Probst Nitro stealth.

52:05 Adam Super stealth. Max stealth with two X's. You know, so you know we mean business. Right. Max. Stealth max, you know. Let's start thinking creative for a change.

52:15 Drew Stop taking calls. Stop it. What? Do not take any more calls.

52:18 Adam What?

52:19 Drew We've had far too many calls. Five in an hour is way too many. Do not take any more calls.

52:23 Adam What is that?

52:24 Caller He was not the boss of me.

52:25 Adam Yeah, I'm taking a call, Roxy.

52:28 Oh, okay.

52:29 Adam What's happening? You're 23.

52:31 Caller Oh, hi. I'm calling because I have a very legitimate question. I'm 23 and I have a blood test for my job, right?

52:38 Adam Blood test, yeah.

52:39 Caller Excuse me?

52:40 Adam What kind of job do you have?

52:42 Caller I work for headquarters for a funeral company for the Western Division.

52:47 Adam All right. And you have to take a blood test?

52:49 Caller No, just a urine test.

52:50 Drew Make sure you're high enough?

52:51 Adam Oh, all right. So you say drug test for your job?

52:54 Caller Yeah. Well, just like your analysis.

52:56 Adam Okay. Go ahead.

52:58 Caller Didn't she say blood? No.

53:01 Adam We're moving forward.

53:02 Caller Okay.

53:03 Adam Go ahead.

53:04 Caller Okay. My question is, I like to really give my boyfriend head, right? The thing is, if I have a dirty system, like he smokes hot, will I get dirty because of him?

53:15 Caller What about that, Drew?

53:16 Drew It's actually a legitimate and reasonable question. The only...

53:19 Adam And a nice theme that's forming for tonight.

53:21 Drew Yes.

53:22 Adam Yes.

53:22 Drew Your favorite, too. And the only thing that I have found evidence that it concentrates sufficiently in semen to potentially be detected with either intercourse or oral sex is amphetamines. Amphetamine has about seven times the concentration in semen as in the blood. And occasionally, opiates, too. People will get a good dose of an opiate occasionally. But the amphetamine is the big one.

53:46 Caller So it is real.

53:47 Adam A little second hand ambience from Probst over here.

53:50 Drew Yeah, it's not as bad about that.

53:52 Adam It's been processed.

53:53 Caller Now let's say that he likes to mean that he doesn't do any kind of mess or anything. Now, how long will it take for him to like if he does do it? And if I will swallow and he's dirty, how long will it take for it to get out of my mouth?

54:05 Drew Remember, it's not it's not just swallowing. It's having sex.

54:08 Adam Well, also, I think I have a feeling it's not going to happen. It's not it's not going to happen. I think you're it's a retarded scenario.

54:16 Drew You're definitely good at 24 hours later.

54:18 Caller Oh, OK. So I get rid of it within time.

54:22 Drew Oh, no, no.

54:22 Adam For you.

54:23 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure.

54:24 Caller Oh, OK. Yeah, that's all that really matters. Because, you know, it's kind of like it's lost a lot of touch annoying that I can do stuff like that. Because I really like it.

54:31 Adam Yeah. All right. You sound you sound horny and fat.

54:35 Caller Oh, thanks.

54:36 Adam You big gal.

54:38 Caller Not really. Well, now they're together for a really long time.

54:42 Drew Right.

54:42 Adam You just put 20 pounds on what?

54:44 Caller How tall are you?

54:46 Caller Five seven.

54:47 Adam Five seven. How much you weigh?

54:49 Caller Oh, my God. They're very personal.

54:52 Adam How much how much you weigh? 160 160. Let me do the radio math. It's been a little while. Five seven one sixty.

55:01 Jeff Probst Plus the two carry the three.

55:03 Adam Drew, what is two times five?

55:05 Drew Ten.

55:06 Adam Ten. And then one from ten?

55:09 Drew Nine.

55:10 Adam But you say.

55:11 Drew And the square root of that?

55:13 Adam All right. But one in one is still one, right?

55:17 Drew One plus one. One times one. Yes.

55:20 Adam One times one is still one, but one plus one. That's not one, right?

55:24 Drew That's two. Check log base ten and then do a natural log on e.

55:29 Adam I got it. Five, seven, one, sixty. Sheeks coming in at five, five and thirteen sixteenths one eighty one.

55:37 Drew Yeah.

55:38 Adam That's the radio adjustment. Because when you say, you know, we say like how much you weigh and they go, that's a personal question. I tack 25 pounds right away.

55:46 Drew Right.

55:47 Adam Right away. Right away. All right. So something's wrong with Roxy, but that's fine. She's in a committed relationship and this is a bizarre hypothetical scenario. One, one which will never come to fruition. Yes.

56:00 Drew Unless she does drugs.

56:01 All right.

56:02 Adam Robert.

56:04 Caller Yes. How you doing?

56:05 Adam It will be the excuse I use if I ever get busted in a drug course. I guess so.

56:09 Drew What? So you tell her it was Jeff's.

56:11 Adam Wait, my lover? How?

56:13 Caller Yeah.

56:14 Adam Please, Drew.

56:15 Drew Well, you know he's got the ambient. He's got the ambient going.

56:18 Caller All right.

56:19 Adam All right. He knows I'm that kind of fan and that big a fan, Robert. I'm not gay, but I love Survivor.

56:27 Jeff Probst I'm only doing this because I really, really like the show.

56:31 Adam Please call it Turbo Stealth. Robert. 24.

56:39 Caller Yes. Hello.

56:40 Adam What's up?

56:41 Caller Hey, I had a question. I've been going out with this girl for about two months. Yeah, I really like her, but when, if I, you know, any type of foreplay or anything, I can't go down on her because she stinks. And I don't want to tell her because I don't want to hurt her feelings.

57:00 Caller I care for her, but on the other hand, I don't want to get down on her.

57:04 Drew Hang on, relax here, buddy. She had a pelvic exam, has she seen a doctor regularly?

57:10 Caller You know what? I haven't really asked her.

57:11 Drew All right. Here's the way to approach this, is to say that, look, if we're going to be sexually active.

57:15 Adam We haven't talked about this in a while.

57:16 Drew Yeah, this is a good one. If you're going to be, you can either say, A, I heard a call on Loveline where they said this can be the sign of infection and I'm worried about you, I want you to see a doctor. Or if we're going to be sexually active, it's important that you get a pap smear. Let's take you and see what's going on. And the doctor will detect this stuff. It's usually a vaginal infection that causes that bad smell.

57:35 Adam We used to give this advice to people all the time, and it's been a long time, but it's a really nice out, which is the old lady's got some funketude going. You don't want to broach the subject, because it's weird. So you say, you know, I was listening to Loveline, and Drew was talking to this chick who called up and said she had a little funk going on, and he said it could be something serious. It could be, you know, nothing to do with hygiene, but it could be an infection, and he urged her to see the doctor.

58:03 Jeff Probst It's good.

58:04 Adam I noticed when we got together, I got a little whiff of something. I'm worried, sweetie. I'm looking out for your welfare. Could you march the vagina in and throw it up on the rack? See if we got anything. That way, you're a concerned guy instead of a pain in the ass who's insulted her. She's not getting defensive about it. It's really nice when you can figure out a way to do that. I'm concerned about you. I'm worried, you know?

58:28 Jeff Probst End up scoring points.

58:30 Adam Scoring points in its hands. Yes.

58:33 Drew Then taking care of something you need to take care of.

58:35 Adam In a situation that seems sort of lose lose and the best you could do is just a little damage as opposed to an all out cluster F, you might actually come out in the plus column here.

58:48 Jeff Probst Nice. You guys provide a service.

58:51 Adam We really do. We really do. Brian? Yeah. You've been on hold for 80 minutes. I have no idea what your call is but I've decided mercifully to take your call. How old is he? He's 23. He's 23. What's up, brother?

59:08 Caller I had a question real quick. Is there any way to shorten the length of time for males or dozen?

59:14 Drew Shorten it?

59:15 Caller Yes, sir.

59:17 Adam How long yet now?

59:20 Caller Minimum is 45 minutes. There's been most of the time I'll just give up.

59:25 Adam Really? Have you been with the same woman?

59:29 Caller No, sir. This is different partners.

59:31 Drew Are you on medication?

59:32 Adam That's the key.

59:33 Caller I'm sorry?

59:34 Drew Medication?

59:35 Caller Nothing.

59:36 Drew Nothing?

59:37 Caller The only thing that I can really attribute to it is I got a penis piercing shortly after I lost my virginity, but I've actually taken that out at times and that's not helped.

59:47 Drew I have heard of cases where the nerve damage caused by piercing does all kinds of strange things that way. Now, does it take long when you ask me?

59:57 Adam Hold on, Drew. Hold on a second. Let me just make this comment. Most guys who get the dork pierced don't do the yes sir, no sir, that's affirmative. Got my Johnson pierced, yes sir, yes sir. What, oh, about 1300 hours. It just doesn't sound like a penis piercing type. It's refreshing, Brian, don't get me wrong, but it's like the two worlds of the yes sir, no sir and the penis tap guy, they usually don't commingle.

1:00:28 Jeff Probst Well, what about, is it the same thing if you're masturbating?

1:00:33 Drew That's my question.

1:00:35 Caller Not necessarily, even that tends to take me a while though.

1:00:38 Drew Has it always been that way?

1:00:40 Caller Yes sir.

1:00:42 Drew That's a little disconcerting, it's disarming.

1:00:45 Adam Yeah.

1:00:45 Drew Thinking about Prince Albert and he says yes sir.

1:00:48 Adam All right, here's the thing. What I feel like is A, this is you. I mean, this is your metronome, this is your cadence and it's not going to change that much. But one thing that's going to help is if you can find a woman, stick with her for a while and sort of work things out. If you just keep bouncing around from conquest to conquest, you're never really going to work this one out.

1:01:14 Jeff Probst Well, and Drew, is this something that starts to build where you in your brain, in your head, you start thinking, well, God's going to take me to it. It's going to take me to it.

1:01:24 Drew You start making a case, yeah. You get anxiety, make, we're always works against the man.

1:01:29 Adam Yeah, it gets up, you get up in your head, pardon the pun. Brian.

1:01:33 Caller Yeah.

1:01:34 Adam You'll be fine. How about you just get a girlfriend and kind of work it out, find out what works.

1:01:40 Caller Well, to be honest with you, I've tried that. I've had several relationships. I've only had a few number of partners, but this has been kind of a prolonged thing since I was 19.

1:01:51 Jeff Probst What's the reaction from the, sorry Drew, what's the reaction from the women you're with? Do they, is it bum them out?

1:01:59 Caller No, actually most of the time the only complaint they have is the piercing can cause bleeding.

1:02:04 Adam Yeah. That's not as bad.

1:02:05 Drew I thought you took the piercing out.

1:02:07 Caller Well, sir, I've tried that.

1:02:09 Adam I'll tell you what really bumps him out when he keeps calling him sir. Did you orgasm? No, sir. Could you please just call me Amy? Yes, sir.

1:02:20 Drew But I'm a little confused, Brian. Did you say?

1:02:23 Adam The cause is bleeding? The piercing causes bleeding? What the hell? Brian, what's going on? What?

1:02:31 Caller The piercing plus the amount of times can occasionally cause the girls that I'm with to bleed.

1:02:36 Drew Makes sense. Makes sense. All right.

1:02:37 Adam Yeah.

1:02:39 Drew I'm still unclear. Did you used to be able, when you were a younger adolescent, be able to masturbate more quickly before the piercing went in? No, not really. Okay. All right. Well, hell. Okay.

1:02:50 Adam All right. Look, here's the thing. We talk about this all the time. There are a lot of guys who have a very short fuse and the penis firecracker goes off almost immediately. There are other guys that have a longer fuse and these are both genetically based. Now, there are things, there are drugs you can take and anxiety disorders and whatever, but for the most part, that's just you. And it's going to be hard. Same with women, if it all, Drew, if it all, if the fuse gets lit at all. Because I can't find a fuse. I can not find a fuse. I found a tampon string once.

1:03:29 Drew Oh, but Jeff can find it.

1:03:31 Adam I tried to light it. It was a disaster.

1:03:33 Jeff Probst I'm trying to figure out what you could say to Brian, because that's, it seems like a nice guy. And he's, you know, it's, yes, sir.

1:03:39 Adam But, but he, he needs, I, I'm going back to.

1:03:43 Drew Relationship.

1:03:44 Jeff Probst Just relax and get in.

1:03:46 Adam Here's, here's the other, here's the other thing, too. I think most guys will, will work this way, which is they will find the position they're used to having the orgasm in, for instance, if they masturbate and they do it lying on their back and that's how they have their orgasm, then that's the position they should get in when they're with the woman. Because if you're used to lying on your back and have an orgasm, then you get on top of someone and you already have a problem, it's gonna take you a while. So I would find that sort of comfort zone position and see if you couldn't incorporate what you do on your own with your ladies, but get a girlfriend and work it out.

1:04:24 Drew Right, there you go.

1:04:25 Adam Let's play a little Germany or Florida, what do you say?

1:04:28 Drew Sure.

1:04:28 Adam Let's hear, Anderson, let me hear David Alan Greer doing our Germany or Florida theme song.

1:04:34 Drew We also should play for Jeff David Alan Greer and his naming of his children.

1:04:40 Adam Yeah, I like that one too. Let's hear them both. Theme song.

1:04:47 Caller Is it Germany or Florida?

1:04:54 Drew Hey, energy.

1:04:56 Caller Germany or Florida? Let's find out.

1:05:04 Adam Big ending. Nice. Such a talent. Well, here we go. Oh, now this is better. This is, Drew was reading the contents. I was trying to figure out the contents of a birth control pill to figure out if it could be used for a morning after pill. I suggested that that sound like names of young black children, and David Alan Greer picked it up and ran with it. So enjoy.

1:05:33 Drew 100 micrograms of ethanol estradiol, which is-

1:05:36 Caller Ethanol estradiol.

1:05:38 Drew Y'all get in the house. It's the levonogestrille.

1:05:42 Caller And where is levonogestrille?

1:05:44 Drew Or the northendrille.

1:05:46 Caller Northendrille. Put that whiffle ball back down. Come in the house. So behind, I'm sick of these kids, man.

1:05:56 Adam So for my birthday, Drew, we're gonna do it. You're coming over with the physicians at Desk Thesaurus, David Allen Grier's coming over and we're gonna do a marathon session where David Allen stands on my right, Drew stands on my left, and every medication that comes out of Drew's mouth is gonna get converted into a black child's name.

1:06:14 Jeff Probst I like it. That's a funny, that's a funny idea.

1:06:17 Adam I'd watch it. I could probably watch it. Maybe an hour a night if you put it on TV.

1:06:22 Jeff Probst Yeah, because every new thing is a new chance for some funny, that works and works and works.

1:06:28 Adam Listen, Survivor's got a couple new tribe names. Dave?

1:06:32 Drew North Endrone.

1:06:34 Adam North Endrone. Yeah, and it's always great when it's worked into get your ass in the house or you kids get in a Cheval.

1:06:40 Jeff Probst And you know something's good when the minute you hear it, you could do it yourself. Like I can do that this week and take the little thing out.

1:06:48 Adam Yeah, you could convert any disease, any ingredient, anything on the spice rack. If David Allen, David Allen Grier just sounds like a black mother, it's awesome. All right, so Drew, like I said, maybe we'll do it for Christmas this year.

1:07:01 Drew I'm doing it.

1:07:02 Adam Justin?

1:07:03 Caller Yeah.

1:07:04 Adam All right, so you want to play a little Germany or Florida?

1:07:07 Caller Yeah. All right. I just want to ask one thing. When's the Recycl-A-Rolla coming out?

1:07:13 Adam Oh, that's the Recycl-A-Rolla?

1:07:16 Caller Yeah.

1:07:17 Adam Yeah, that's my recycling shoot for houses, Jeff. I, uh, Drew, what are you doing over there? I, uh, I put one in my house, a shoot for cans and bottles.

1:07:27 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:07:27 Adam And when Jimmy, Jimmy was so impressed by it, that when Jimmy got his kitchen remodeled, we put a recycling shoot in his house. And then when I built this house for TLC, I put the shoot. It's just a piece of pipe that's like 4-inch plastic PVC pipe, but a beer bottle or a wine bottle or a soda can, it's like two and a half, three inches. Nice. You pipe this pipe, you just put it in the wall, you put it in a cupboard, you put it wherever, and then pow, every bottle, every can, everything fired right out. You put the recycling bin right outside by it, it's called the Recycl-A-Rolla, and it makes recycling fun again, and you don't have that thing where you want to recycle, but you got a bunch of pop cans, beer bottles there. You go through it. Plus, no one needs to be reminded how big a problem they have with booze or diet soda or whatever. Three days goes by, and there's like a mountain of wine bottles. Spent wine bottles and beer bottles. They're like, wow, I don't want to look at this.

1:08:26 Jeff Probst Yeah, you know what else would go down there? Used up ambient containers. That's right. I'm slow. I gave it to Drew.

1:08:34 Adam Unless they have the refill sticker on them, which makes you hold on to them. All right. Thank you, Justin. Go ahead. What's your Germany or Florida?

1:08:42 All right.

1:08:43 Caller They now have discovered a new secret ingredient in Chinese food, which is aborted babies. They take the aborted babies, still in the placenta, and mix and blend it with the spices and put it in the wonton soup. They haven't told the public what the secret ingredient is yet.

1:09:02 Drew I don't think he understands the principle of Germany or Florida.

1:09:04 Adam Germany or Florida means it has to be a story that came out of either Germany or Florida, hence the name Germany or Florida.

1:09:13 Caller I don't know what it is.

1:09:15 Adam This story happened in either Germany or Florida.

1:09:19 Caller Yeah, seriously, it is.

1:09:21 Adam They take the placenta and put it into egg drop soup?

1:09:25 Caller In the end, the wonton soup.

1:09:29 Drew All right, Germany or Florida?

1:09:30 Adam Poor Justin. Justin has been in the hole for 71 minutes, so I feel bad for him. I feel like just out of respect for him, we'll just pick. You're going Germany, Drew?

1:09:40 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:09:41 Adam Jeff, what do you think? Germany? Germany. I'm going to go Florida just to mix it up. Justin?

1:09:47 Caller Of course it's Germany.

1:09:49 Adam All right, buddy.

1:09:50 Caller All right.

1:09:50 Adam Yes. Yes. What's happening, Justin? You in high school?

1:09:54 Caller Yeah.

1:09:55 Caller Are you getting laid?

1:09:57 Caller All the time.

1:09:58 Caller Oh no.

1:09:59 Drew No. You can't count.

1:10:02 Caller Liar whore, liar whore, you know it.

1:10:05 Adam Are you tired, buddy?

1:10:07 Drew Yeah. Just keep listening. We got an iPod Nano to give away. Listen for the system of a down song. Question is the bumper. Be the first person. Say iPod Nano to the screener. You'll win a gift certificate for 10 iTunes downloads. He must be 18. Is he 18?

1:10:21 Adam He's 16, but he's been on hold long enough that he's 18.

1:10:24 Drew And you get iPod Nano.

1:10:28 Adam All right, Justin. God love you, brother. What do you want to do for a living? What do you want to do when you get out of high school?

1:10:34 Caller Um, I don't know.

1:10:36 Adam Okay, good. Set the bar low. Nice and low. All right. And then you'll be surprised if you end up doing something. All right, buddy, you're going to college, right?

1:10:44 Caller Yeah. I'm going to be one of those people that work behind the counter and they mix all the medicine.

1:10:51 Drew I call that a pharmacist.

1:10:54 Adam First, you got to go to that place that holds the books. What's that place called again, Drew?

1:10:59 Drew Library.

1:10:59 Adam Library. Oh, you see, it doesn't have the word book in it, so it's confusing. Yeah, Justin, you got to go to that place that has a football team and a bell tower and a school of students and then they give you a piece of paper and then you got to go to this other place that holds the books and look at those and then you can get to go to that place where you get to take the drugs and mix them up and hand them to old people.

1:11:20 Drew Behind the counter.

1:11:21 Adam All right.

1:11:22 Caller There's a new library in my school.

1:11:24 Adam Must be a thrill like living with Justin. It's like, mom, when am I going to get one of those things you get into that's made of metal that burns gas? A car? Yeah. By the way, someone's got to get me some milk and to do that, they're going to have to open that metal box with the light in it that's colder than the room. When are we going to watch that thing with the pictures moving around in it and the sound coming out of it? Just everything is new and exciting. Jeff Probst in here tonight from Survivor, favorite show on television. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Yeah, Loveline, everybody. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, Dr. Drew in Pittsburgh. You know why. Jeff Probst in here. So, no better man for the job that he does. No better man. It's true. Just brings integrity.

1:12:45 Jeff Probst We don't know. No one's ever done it.

1:12:48 Adam Now, it just wouldn't work. I just couldn't picture it.

1:12:52 Jeff Probst You're telling me if I left Survivor, it wouldn't work.

1:12:55 Adam It would be like if Roger Daltrey left The Who.

1:13:01 Jeff Probst Yeah, it'd go just fine.

1:13:02 Adam No, it would not.

1:13:02 Jeff Probst That show would be just fine.

1:13:04 Adam God bless you for being humble about it, but you are that show. And the day Jeff Probst leaves is the day he takes the show with him. But if we're looking for a new host and they want to bring a little levity to it.

1:13:18 Jeff Probst You have no time left.

1:13:19 Adam Well, I would make room in my schedule to preside over Team Turbo Max and Team Stealth Nitro.

1:13:27 Jeff Probst You and Drew could co-host it sort of. And you have Stealth and he has Turbo.

1:13:34 Adam It would be awesome, us arguing at Tribal Council for 20 minutes every night.

1:13:39 Jeff Probst One of the best things about survivors doing the casting and when they get into, like you talked about earlier with Hogan-Boom and stuff, and when they get into the final room where we're at in LA., one of the things we have in front of us is this little piece of paper and it has on it all this information, like how much they make, what kind of car they drive, are they on any kind of drugs, antidepressants, whatever, do they have any STDs, have they ever been arrested, what's their net worth, all of it. And it's amazing on a little sheet of paper, you have like 10 little columns and you know so much about these people.

1:14:13 Adam Well, because so much stands for so much like just you know what they do stands for so much more than just a job or what their degree of education is or have they been in prison or have they been these things you speak volumes about about the person in just a couple of words. It must be a you must be drunk with power when you're staring at those things.

1:14:35 Jeff Probst It's just fascinating and the IQ and the people who either typically Do they do an IQ test? Yeah.

1:14:41 Adam Wow.

1:14:41 Jeff Probst And the best contestants are either high or low. But the people who are in the middle like average intelligence you know are typically the people smart enough to know when to calm down, not so bright to you know go off the chart.

1:14:55 Adam Well is there a thing that you either need to be sort of diabolically smart or just so stupid you don't know you can fail? Whereas the middle sort of can be manipulated and pulled around and it's always going to make it you know few people in but never to the ultimate prize.

1:15:15 Jeff Probst I think a lot of it is the people in the middle tend to have enough on the ball to just hang in there but maybe won't take the chances that somebody else would. And it's not that low IQ, people who test low IQ haven't won the game or done well, but it's just interesting that in terms of a test, because survivors about social politics, people come out there and can be dumb as a log and have great street smart and read people very well.

1:15:41 Adam Right. Well I'll tell you, and in this thing you have a doctor examine everybody, obviously you have to do a thorough background check on everybody.

1:15:50 Jeff Probst Oh, augmentation, yeah that's another one. Have you had any surgeries to augment your body?

1:15:54 Adam Oh really?

1:15:55 Jeff Probst Yeah.

1:15:55 Adam Good, nice couple of boob jobs in there.

1:15:58 Jeff Probst Yeah, that's amazing, it's amazing how much surgery has been done.

1:16:01 Adam Oh really?

1:16:01 Jeff Probst Yeah. Just on people you wouldn't even think, you'd look at them go, you're kidding, no, no, no, I had a nipple implant a couple years ago.

1:16:08 Adam Sure, need that third one, had triplets. Drew had triplets, he had an extra nipple put in.

1:16:15 Drew Right in the middle of my chest.

1:16:16 Jeff Probst Yeah, yeah. It's nice.

1:16:18 Adam Wouldn't make sense to do it on your ass, or whichever kid got that, the ass nipple would be in therapy right now. In therapy right now.

1:16:23 Jeff Probst Nerve-thello or trade-off. Whatever those.

1:16:25 Adam Yeah, yeah, right. Othello, I think, Ken. Did he have a super numery nipple, Drew?

1:16:29 Drew I think that's right.

1:16:31 Jeff Probst I don't even know what we're talking about.

1:16:32 Adam Natalie, that'd be a good name for a tribe. Super nipple. Super nipple, I'll see you at tribal council tonight.

1:16:40 Jeff Probst Stealth, head back to camp.

1:16:43 Adam Limp chode. I'll see you guys back at the next challenge. Natalie?

1:16:47 Caller Yes, how's it going?

1:16:48 Adam What's up, baby doll? 25.

1:16:50 Caller Dr. Drew, this question is for you. I recently graduated. I have my bachelors and I plan on going to law school. In the meantime, I'm applying to this job at a car company, car insurance, and I suffer from panic disorder and my doctor's had me on Zoloft and I missed my last appointment and I am so tired all the time. So before my job interview, my brother gave me some Ritalin. Don't say anything, but I want to know, the company told me that they're going to do a hair analysis or a UA or both. And I want to know if they do a hair analysis to see if I'm doing drugs, will that show how long? Same with the UA, how long does that stay in my system?

1:17:36 Adam Let me tell you this, hold on a second, Drew. I just got to say this. My hair analysis, if I had a company was you with the mullet, you're not hired, and you with the crazy cholo chick gangbanger, greasy bangs hanging down, you're gone too. I base it all on hair, not at actual looking at it, but actually how they wore it.

1:17:55 Caller I don't think they're gonna do it, because that's really expensive. Where's Kiss and Error? I think they'll do it in the UA.

1:18:00 Drew It's expensive and it's very hard to interpret, so there's lots of room for challenge and that sort of thing.

1:18:06 Adam Well you can't not hire someone because they're on Zoloft anyway. No, no, no, no.

1:18:10 Caller She took Ridland, she took Ridland.

1:18:11 Adam Oh, Ridland, sorry. Well, even that, even that, though, right Drew?

1:18:16 Caller That's my second question. Let's say I take a UA, they say, hey, you're on amphetamines, whatever. Do I have to disclose my medical? Do I have to say, yeah, you know what, I'm on Zoloft, you know, because that's kind of, that bothers me.

1:18:29 Adam What about it, Drew?

1:18:30 Drew Yeah, you're asking a legal question I can't answer.

1:18:34 Caller Okay, but how long does it stay in the system?

1:18:37 Drew The Zoloft, they won't be screening for that. The Ritalin's out in about 24 hours.

1:18:42 Adam Will they screen for Ritalin, or will that come up with speed?

1:18:45 Drew It could come up with speed. It depends what tests they're doing, but I don't think they'll do the hair analysis. I think you could challenge that. I'd be surprised if a single dose would show up, and the urine test will be cleaned, too. So you got it.

1:18:55 Adam All right. No, people worry too much about it. Actually, the people who shouldn't worry about it worry too much about it, and then the other idiots don't think at all about it.

1:19:03 Drew Right.

1:19:04 Adam That's really how life works, which is some people are freaked out to grade a degree about their kids and as kids have braces and where are they going to school, and I start saving for college now, and I got to get piano lessons, I'm taking a therapist, and then other people are like, you can sleep outside, he's 13, he's a big boy. I don't care. Yeah, no, let her boyfriend sleep over. She's in the 10th grade. It seems to be like feast or fam, and the reality is somewhere in between would be nice, and we never seem to find that balance in this country. It's true. She's all freaked out. She doesn't have anything to worry about. Drew's worried about his kids and what college they're going to. They'll be fine, Drew. They'll be fine.

1:19:45 Jeff Probst That's what my brother said. He's got two kids now, and that's what he said the other day. He goes, you know, you have a baby, and you don't know anything about how to take care of a baby, and then before you know it, they're five, and you realize you just sort of do it.

1:19:56 Adam Yeah. What's your brother do? Is he a host on a survival show?

1:20:00 Jeff Probst Yeah, he's competing station, so I don't talk about it, but yeah, no, my brother's got his own business, and he builds things kind of like you. He would appreciate the Recycle-A-Rolla. Recycle-A-Rolla.

1:20:13 Adam Give me name to that.

1:20:14 Jeff Probst And when he comes to my house next to do some work, I plan on telling him, figure out a way to do that, right out of my little garbage chute into my-

1:20:22 Adam It's gotta be awesome. Your big time celebrity brother and his hot girlfriend need a little work done around the house, so they throw you a bone. Toilet's on the fritz. Handle it, would you, bro? I'm gonna do some coke with Johnny Depp.

1:20:34 Jeff Probst Depp's family is vague. I'm telling you, coke is out. Ambien is the new coke.

1:20:40 Adam I'm doing some Ambien with Johnny Depp.

1:20:42 Jeff Probst Let's get it right.

1:20:44 Adam I always like when I was laughing about assuming your brother hosted a survival show, but it's always funny when people do that. When you go out to order and you're with somebody and they're like, y'all have a burger, no mayo, and then you go, y'all have a burger too, and they go, no mayo? You're like, no, I know you think we're probably hanging together because we both like burgers with no mayo, but that wasn't what brought us together. Sometimes people get a little roll with stuff. They're like, yeah, I'll have an iced tea. What do you want, iced tea too? Yeah. No, no, no. I don't want the same thing.

1:21:19 Jeff Probst Yeah.

1:21:19 Adam I don't do the, you understand people don't, brothers don't have to do the same thing. People that go out to eat don't have to order the same thing. We don't have to get a burger the same way.

1:21:27 Jeff Probst And it's usually said but with that sort of like, you know.

1:21:29 Adam Yeah. Your brother is a builder. Is he a carpenter?

1:21:33 Jeff Probst Yeah, he's a carpenter. He's pretty much can do anything. He got that gene as a kid. He can build, fix, tear apart. He's really good.

1:21:43 Adam You know what I'd be doing? What's your brother's name? What's his first name?

1:21:45 Jeff Probst Brent.

1:21:45 Adam Brent. I'll tell you this. Salt of the earth, by the way, that name Brent, that guy's not going to rip you off for galaxy elderly. He'll take care of you. He'll do a good job. If I were Brent, I wouldn't even be a carbon all day. I'd be like, you know what my brother is? You know what my brother is? You know what my brother is? Jeff Probst. Jeff Probst. Survivor? See the little show called Survivor? Look. Look at the license. Yeah. Well, obviously it's Brent. Yeah. But you see the last name. That's my brother. I could call him. I could call him. I could give him on the phone. You want me to call him? You want to say hi to him? You want to leave an outfilling message on your machine?

1:22:16 Jeff Probst That's my mom.

1:22:17 Adam He would pick up the phone. I could call him right now.

1:22:19 Jeff Probst You know what's funny though is I was just sitting there looking at you and thinking of you and Drew. You're a guy. You're just a guy. If people meet you, they go, Oh, that's Adam Corolla. He's really funny. And if they see Drew, Drew's really funny. Drew's also a doctor. I'm the how did I'm the how did he get so lucky guy? That's the difference.

1:22:36 Adam It's like more more envy for that guy. Do you now? Now you take that and it don't take it's not a slap in the face. There's a weird there's a weird thing. No, I think you do your job great. And I think people recognize that you're perfect for that role. But there is an element of if this guy won the lottery, we're that much more envious of him. Do you see what I'm saying? Well, if a guy if a guy says, you know, I busted my ass, I worked hard, I have 15 years of college, my parents basically mortgaged the house to get me an education. Now I'm a podiatrist. I'm not that jealous of him. But you show me a guy who just hit the lottery and that's a guy who you son of a bitch, a dog, you lucky dog, traveling around, great looking chicks all over the place, getting paid to see these exotic locations. So there's more. See, I see what you're taking it as a negative. I think it's even I think we're even more envious because of the lottery nature.

1:23:41 Drew He doesn't like people being envious of him. That's sort of a negative.

1:23:43 Adam Oh, oh, I see. Well, TS. That's what I have to say to that.

1:23:46 Drew Adam wants people to be envious. That's why he screams about being a millionaire all the time.

1:23:50 Adam Literally, literally a millionaire.

1:23:52 Jeff Probst What is your what is your network?

1:23:54 Adam Literally a millionaire. I can't count that.

1:23:58 Caller I'm literally a millionaire.

1:24:00 Adam We'll take a quick break.

1:24:02 Jeff Probst Jeff Pro took no calls here.

1:24:04 Drew I know. All right.

1:24:05 Adam Come on.

1:24:06 Drew Did anybody win the iPod?

1:24:08 Adam Listen, what do you two got to gang up on me for like this? You know, I like the sound of my own voice.

1:24:13 Jeff Probst It's funny that I don't. I think the last thing we just talked about was bored. We would cut it if we could go back. It was not interesting and I started it and I'm sorry.

1:24:22 Drew All right.

1:24:23 Adam All right, buddy. I like that kind of self-deprecation. We'll take a quick break. I don't know who won the iPod. We'll be right back after this.

1:24:35 Caller We'll be right back. Please hold.

1:24:50 Drew You did it.

1:24:51 Caller Yeah, everybody.

1:24:55 Adam Get it on. Drew, what's going on? It's like a thunder clap.

1:25:00 Drew It's a radio station, right?

1:25:02 Caller Yeah.

1:25:03 Drew And so it's a microphone on that crazy arm, right?

1:25:07 Adam Yes.

1:25:08 Drew Got to be some loose pieces, right?

1:25:10 Adam Sure. Yeah, but do you have to punch the microphone as it's going around?

1:25:13 Drew No, that wasn't punching. That wasn't punching.

1:25:15 Adam All right, easy, brother. Jeff Probst. Handsome, handsome Jeff Probst. Classically.

1:25:20 Jeff Probst Drew, are you mad?

1:25:22 Adam Are you mad?

1:25:23 Jeff Probst Yeah. Are you upset?

1:25:25 Drew No, no, no, no, no.

1:25:25 Jeff Probst That there's something between us? I just sensed a little in that last comment about...

1:25:30 Drew Oh, well, that he gives me grief about something that's, you know, I have no control over. I got it.

1:25:35 Adam Okay, buddy. Lighten up, would you?

1:25:38 Drew I'm a rapist.

1:25:39 Adam Okay, Drew, that's enough. Now, let's help some kids, shall we?

1:25:43 Drew There we go. Well, no, let's not. Let's not. What? Don't. Don't?

1:25:47 Adam Ashley?

1:25:48 Yeah.

1:25:49 Adam You're 18?

1:25:50 Caller Uh-huh.

1:25:51 Adam Drew didn't want to talk to you, but I wanted to help. What's your problem?

1:25:56 Caller Okay.

1:25:57 Caller My boyfriend, every time we have sex, he wants me to put a toy in his butt, and I don't understand why.

1:26:09 Adam I'm going bogus call.

1:26:10 Drew I'm going bogus too, yeah.

1:26:11 Caller No, no, I'm serious. I mean, is he gay? I mean, I just don't understand.

1:26:15 Adam No, no, no. That's getting really bogus.

1:26:18 Drew All right. It has nothing to do with sexual orientation. It is the rare guy that likes that done, but there are guys that like that.

1:26:25 Adam I don't believe you. I don't believe you.

1:26:27 Drew I don't believe her either. No.

1:26:29 Adam No.

1:26:29 Caller I've called two times in a row trying to, I'm serious.

1:26:33 Adam What is the last thing you put in his butt?

1:26:36 Caller He wants me to put a toy.

1:26:38 Adam What's the last thing?

1:26:40 Caller He wants me to put a dildo in his butt.

1:26:42 Adam Have you done it?

1:26:44 Caller To make him happy, yes.

1:26:45 Drew What kind of dildo was it?

1:26:48 Caller I don't know. It's just a normal one. Like one that has a suction cup at the bottom of it, I think.

1:26:54 Adam Oh, really? Dash mount.

1:26:56 Caller Is that what it is?

1:26:58 Adam I assume that's what you do with those. Move over, Jesus. You got a partner.

1:27:04 Caller I don't understand. Oh, my God.

1:27:06 Adam You're telling me the ones with the suction cup aren't to put on? Oh, I gotta go out to the parking lot then, because this is embarrassing. I just assumed that that's what that suction cup was there for. I was wondering why. You know, some things are really starting to come into focus now.

1:27:22 Drew It's a peculiar request. Most guys have aversion to that, don't like that at all, but there are the occasional guy that does like that.

1:27:30 Caller So is he not gay?

1:27:31 Drew There's nothing to do with sexual orientation.

1:27:34 Caller Nothing to do.

1:27:35 Adam It's got to help a little bit.

1:27:38 Drew It helps. Nothing significant to do with that.

1:27:41 Adam Yeah. He could be an extreme man of passion. He could be a man whose passion trumps even Jeff and her own Dr. Drew.

1:27:48 Drew I haven't figured out what that is.

1:27:49 Adam Oh, so convenient. So convenient for you to throw him out of your passion club.

1:27:54 Drew Yes.

1:27:55 Adam So convenient, Drew. But is it naïve? But is it naïve?

1:28:01 Drew I don't care.

1:28:02 Caller All right.

1:28:03 Adam I'm just saying if somebody could make the passion argument, maybe this guy is just so passionate that he needs to have two things going on simultaneously.

1:28:14 Drew Something might come out of both ends if they don't plug it up. He's so passionate.

1:28:18 Adam Well, I'm just saying, you know, you don't understand his passion, but there are others who don't understand your passion.

1:28:25 Drew All right.

1:28:26 Adam Let's you be such a passion judge. Ashley. Yeah. Drew's punching the mic as a protest.

1:28:34 Drew It is this little screen that falls down. I'm going to do it again.

1:28:38 Jeff Probst Yeah, that's it.

1:28:40 Adam Yes. Yes. Ashley.

1:28:41 Caller Yeah.

1:28:42 Adam What else does this guy do? I don't trust him.

1:28:46 Caller I don't know. He does some drugs, I guess.

1:28:50 Adam What's he do?

1:28:52 Caller Coke and weed and take pills.

1:28:56 Adam Well, just pills, coke and weed.

1:28:58 Drew Just ambient.

1:29:00 Adam I thought he had a drug problem. I didn't know it was just pills, coke and weed. But really, the syringe is the only thing he left out in terms of means of ingesting drugs. Ashley, I don't like this guy. I think you could do better.

1:29:13 Caller Yeah.

1:29:14 Adam Yeah, I think nobody would be better. How about that? What's up with you?

1:29:21 Caller Nothing.

1:29:22 Adam What do you do?

1:29:22 Drew Why would you be with a guy like that?

1:29:25 Caller I don't know.

1:29:26 Adam Junior college?

1:29:28 Caller Um, yeah, I guess.

1:29:31 Drew What are you doing? Crying about something?

1:29:33 Adam No, she's trying to listen to the radio. He's in the room. What do you do? What are you doing for work?

1:29:38 Caller I work for a hypnotherapist.

1:29:40 Adam Oh, really?

1:29:42 Drew She's crying.

1:29:43 Adam Are you crying?

1:29:44 Caller No.

1:29:46 Adam What's the matter?

1:29:48 Caller I don't know.

1:29:49 Adam Are you depressed?

1:29:50 Caller Kind of, I guess. I don't know. I mean, he says that I satisfy him.

1:29:57 Adam He's what?

1:29:59 Caller He tells me that I satisfy him, but if I satisfy him, then why does he want something in his butt? I don't get that.

1:30:06 Adam I hate to laugh when she's crying, but it is kind of funny.

1:30:09 Drew But that has, that's not what concerns us so much about him, just the fact that he's an addict.

1:30:14 Caller Yeah.

1:30:15 Drew That's a big concern.

1:30:17 Adam Hold on.

1:30:17 Drew And then sometimes addicts, by the way, sometimes addicts need high levels of stimulation just to be over to feel sexual if, A, they were sexually abused or beaten when they were growing up, or B, they're on drugs that prevent them from feeling sexual, so they have to sort of overcome that. This may be that. It may be the biological state he's in right now.

1:30:33 Adam Wow.

1:30:34 Jeff Probst But Drew, is part of this, too, that, and I'm not excluding you, Adam. Sorry. Sit down. But the whole thing about it being the butt is somehow connected to being gay, whereas if he liked his, you know, the side of his whatever, his chest rubbed crazy, she wouldn't think that was weird. Am I making any sense?

1:30:55 Drew Yes, yes. It all kind of smacks. It smacks of childhood sexual abuse. It does.

1:30:59 Adam All right. Ashley, Ashley, here's the thing. You're you're 18. Why why chain yourself to this anchor? Do you know what I mean? I let me give a quick speech to the kiddies out there. At 18, you do not need to contend with the things that you may have to contend with later on in life because later on in life, you get married, somebody has somebody gets strung out on ambient, a couple of kids are born before you know it, there's responsibilities. Maybe you have a kid what maybe something's wrong with one of the children, autism, whatever, God knows could happen. There are things and you must stick it out. You can't abandon that family, you can't abandon that child. But at 18, if you get hooked up with a guy wants some of the suction cup, really not for the dash, in his ass and he's pill popping and he's smoking, weenies, whatever, just cut bait, move on. You're 18, you're female, I assume you're cute. Let's go find some guy at the junior college, doesn't have a bunch of baggage, doesn't make you feel lesser than and just have a nice normal relationship. I know it's going to be tough because daddy wasn't normal and that's all you use is your template. Let's see if you can break free of that template. Find a nice guy, have a normal relationship because when guys are screwed up and they're in a relationship, you know it every single day. Like, you can work with guys that are effed up. I work with a bunch of them. You can play hoops with them. You can do many, many things with effed up guys. But you cannot be in a relationship with them. That's a good point. That's where it all comes out. So please, why challenge yourself that way? We'll take a quick break. Jeff Probst is here from The Greatest Show on Television. And we'll be back after this. Well, that's it, everybody. I want to thank Jeff Probst for coming in tonight.

1:33:15 Drew Survivor. Jeff's got a date with Ambien. Hey, listen, Jesse from Fontana 22 won the iPod and the 10 downloads from iTunes.

1:33:23 Adam Awesome.

1:33:23 Drew Right on.

1:33:25 Adam Ambien would be a great black name for David Allen's career.

1:33:28 Drew Oh, yeah, so go to town.

1:33:30 Adam Put it on the list, Drew, my birthday's coming up. All right, God bless Jeff Probst. Until next time, I'm Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:33:37 Caller Pow!

1:33:38 Adam How you like me now, probes?

1:33:46 Jeff Probst The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station.

1:33:54 Adam The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, September 28, 2005