Episode 1000728771351

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:04 Voiceover Sexually-oriented content.

1:07 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:08 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:13 Voiceover This is Loveline.

1:17 Voiceover With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:20 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

1:23 Drew Do we have a weekend?

1:24 Woo, it's Loveline.

1:25 Voiceover I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, Dixon Madison Specialist. What's up there, bud?

1:34 Drew You have a good weekend?

1:35 Adam Yeah.

1:36 Drew Yeah?

1:36 Adam Mm-hmm. Did a little work yesterday, but no big deal.

1:40 Drew Good.

1:40 Adam That's it.

1:41 Drew Wow, you worked on the weekend, it was no big deal. Oh, are you okay?

1:46 Adam Well, you know, when I do this, I'm doing this TLC show.

1:49 Drew Yeah.

1:50 Adam And the TLC show, they have to film all these sort of, you know, it's one of those slice of life shows.

1:57 Drew Right. And you got to patch it together somehow.

1:59 Adam You got to patch it together somehow. So every Saturday, I have to sit and be interviewed. But someone just puts a camera in front of me and asks me things, and I just wax on for about an hour and a half, and then they use eight seconds.

2:11 Drew So let me get this straight. It's just you talking, something you hate.

2:13 Adam Just me talking.

2:14 Drew How about yourself, better yet?

2:16 Adam Well, I just don't, you know, I don't like having to perform, and I don't like having to rehearse, but I don't mind the part where I just, yeah.

2:23 Drew You like talking, yeah.

2:24 Adam Yeah. Let me tell you this, speaking of TLC, TLC is awesome. TLC is, I mean, Comedy Central blows, and MTV always blew, and every place that I've ever been associated, oh, K-Rock. This station sucks. All the radio stations have always sucked.

2:42 Drew TLC is treating you nice.

2:43 Adam Well, TLC is, you know, they're getting billboards, and they're getting commercials, and doing all that stuff. But something that reminded me of you is they're like, yeah, we're going to do with these big campaigns at the football games, college games, and pro games. We want you doing the coin toss at the UCLA game on the October 1st. And I said, oh, excellent. Drew, that's over at the Rose Bowl.

3:08 Drew Yeah.

3:09 Adam Drew lives in the Rose Bowl.

3:10 Drew Practically. A lot of people don't know that. Every Saturday, my wife lives in the Rose Bowl.

3:13 Adam Yeah. Big UCLA fan. And Drew is so profoundly P-whipped that he is forced to root for UCLA, even though he went to medical school at USC. And then when UCLA plays USC, he's forced to sit with the UCLA.

3:28 Drew Well, then I read for SC.

3:30 No.

3:30 Drew Let's be fair. Yeah, I do.

3:31 Adam P-whipped.

3:32 Drew No, I do. I root for SC then. A little bit.

3:34 Adam Wearing the powder blue and gold, cheering, cheering on the Bruins. But in his heart, rooting for USC.

3:43 Drew I as I've told you a million times, you get attached to your college. I got to trash the Lord Jeffs.

3:48 Adam Sure.

3:49 Drew Damn, I root for them.

3:50 Adam Yeah, they they are perennial powerhouse.

3:53 Drew Powerhouse. And I live and die. But what happens to them? SC is where you go to graduate school.

3:58 Adam I'll tell you why.

3:59 Drew So I'm passionate.

3:59 Adam When when Amherst played Nebraska in the Orange Bowl in 87, I believe it was it was one of the most exciting college football games ever.

4:10 Drew But you don't know is when they played Harvard in 1901. Classic.

4:14 Classic.

4:15 Adam And then when you you know, when you go through the rosters of the NFL teams and you see all the Amherst alumni on there, I mean, practically practically the whole Ravens defense. I'm not mistaken, not mistaken. No, just please. Ray Lewis.

4:32 Drew Yeah.

4:33 Adam And I'm I'm I'm pretty I'm pretty sure a lot. I mean, some of the guys have retired, of course, but replaced by others.

4:41 Drew I mean, yeah, just a constant, constant farming. Those.

4:44 Adam Yeah, I think I think it goes Amherst in terms of teams that have college teams, programs, college programs. I think Miami, Miami. I think Florida State is up there in USC, Nebraska, but it's clearly we dwarf all those. Yeah, I think Tony Saragusa went to Amherst. Do you know Tony Saragusa? How is it, you know, so little. Tony Saragusa? No, no, maybe it could be funny.

5:17 See, give me another clue.

5:18 Adam Tony Saragusa.

5:19 Give me another clue.

5:21 Adam Tony Saragusa is like the 400 pound Italian nose tackle who was playing for the Ravens when they won the Super Bowl, when their defense was so dominant three years ago. He's in all these TV commercials. He's just a mammoth guy from like Long Island.

5:39 Drew I don't know who he is.

5:40 He's the one that in that really bad deodorant ad and he goes into the club and everyone falls down and then he puts it on. He does this dance move where he's jumping on his hand at the end.

5:47 Adam Drew, do you realize that fully three quarters of your life is spent with people explaining things to you that goes on in the world?

5:53 Drew Oh sure, in the world. That's right. I'm too...

5:55 Adam She's that actress with the blonde. She was in Herbie. He's that player who used to...

6:02 Drew Adam, you only wish you were as cool as to not know what was going on in the world as the way I do.

6:07 Adam Oh my God.

6:08 Drew It's just because these things aren't important to me.

6:11 Adam They're not important to me either.

6:14 They're not important to anybody.

6:17 Adam No, look, here's the thing. Capitals of cities, street signs, makes of cars, all the things you see in life. They're not really important to anybody. You just know them because they pass through your field of vision. So many times you end up, you know, Geraldo Rivera has a huge mustache. Is it important to you? No, to me? No, it's not important to anyone. It's just, yeah, he has a big mustache and so made a big mustache reference. You should theoretically laugh because you've seen Geraldo Rivera in his huge mustache. All right. You hide behind the important thing.

6:53 Drew Yeah, sure.

6:54 Adam Yes, I like football marginally more than you, although you claim you like football. Anyway, Sarah Goose going to Amherst would have been funny.

7:06 Drew I definitely heard Sarah Goose's name. I just couldn't play.

7:08 Thank you. Veal or venison?

7:11 Drew All right. I'm sorry, Goose. Where are we?

7:13 Adam How did this...

7:14 Drew Let me quickly, before you go to calls, let me quickly get something done here.

7:17 Adam Please.

7:18 Drew Tonight, every caller who's over 18 that gets on the air will get two tickets to a new movie called Cry Wolf.

7:24 Adam When's that coming out?

7:25 Drew It's coming out... Doesn't say on this. Isn't that interesting? Coming soon.

7:31 Adam It's not really interesting.

7:32 Drew It's coming soon. Everyone who gets tickets will also qualify to win a trip to see Block Party, who is on the soundtrack. They'll be able to see Block Party anywhere in Europe. That list you're doodling on? All those sites in Europe, they're going to be performing.

7:45 Adam Wow, that's why I never heard of any of those places.

7:46 Drew It's Belgium, England, Germany, Norway.

7:49 Adam Haven't heard of any of those places. No? Keep going.

7:51 Drew This fri... Oh, it's this Friday. Yeah, this Friday. You lie, you die. Cry Wolf in theaters everywhere.

7:56 Adam Wow.

7:56 Drew See?

7:57 Adam Wow.

7:57 Drew It's a movie about kids that basically, some students make a prank. They're sort of inventing a murder online.

8:02 Adam Guess what happens?

8:04 Drew It comes to pass. It comes to pass.

8:06 Adam It's like Weird Science. Yeah. It's sort of Weird Science meets Nightmare on Elm Street.

8:12 Drew Yeah. Yeah. Right. That's it.

8:15 Adam Write that down.

8:16 Drew We'll be announcing the winner this Sunday. Those of you who hear our Sunday show on Monday, we'll get on Monday. In fact, we'll get contacted on Monday. Yeah. Nightmare on Elm Street.

8:24 Adam Don't be a good way to thing to do is to find the slug line of the movie and try to match it to the movie. You know what I mean? Like in space, no one can hear you scream.

8:33 Drew Right. Right. Great game.

8:35 Adam Good game. Right.

8:36 Drew It's a Japanese category.

8:37 Adam You know the answer?

8:39 Drew Alien.

8:41 Oh, true.

8:42 You want to talk about alien?

8:47 Adam That was an answer.

8:48 Drew That was a deduction. Give me another one.

8:50 Adam The First to Die with a Lucky. I don't even know what that one was. I always stood out. Now I remember thinking of that one. Well, lucky, but lucky in a relative way, but not lucky like won the lottery.

9:01 Drew Right.

9:01 Adam But he gave him a Cadillac Lucky. It's marginally lucky.

9:04 Drew It could be a lot of different films.

9:05 Adam But it's a good one. It's one of those ones that sounds good, but doesn't mean anything.

9:09 The First to Die with a Lucky.

9:12 Drew Oh, yeah, there's a new show out where in order to be a criminal, you got to think like a rapist. You see that?

9:20 Adam Yeah, I know it's the best part about the new fall lineup.

9:25 Drew Wait, not Mary Nell Street. What do you say? And what was the other one?

9:27 In order to catch a criminal, he's going to have to think like a criminal.

9:32 Adam Yeah, I always like that. And you know the other one too? I like the one where the guy is, you want to talk about F'd Out Premises, where the guys, he hunts serial killers. The problem is he has to think like a serial killer and he has a lot of flashbacks. They're up in his head.

9:47 Drew Right.

9:47 Adam He's haunted by his gift.

9:50 Drew By his gift of thinking like a serial killer. It makes him tap into the serial killer's actual thoughts.

9:54 Adam Yeah. What's the name of that new show?

9:56 Drew It's like Criminal or something.

9:58 This week on Criminal, in order to catch, Wait, we got a criminal.

10:04 A thief.

10:05 He must think like a rapist.

10:09 Adam What word is that?

10:10 Drew TRL.

10:13 TRL.

10:15 Drew How do you pronounce your name?

10:16 TRL.

10:17 Drew TRL.

10:17 Adam Oh, how do you spell it?

10:19 T-E-A-R-L-E.

10:22 Drew All right.

10:23 R-L-E.

10:25 Drew That would screw us up even more.

10:26 Adam That's not how you spell TRL, is it?

10:28 Drew That's TRL. TRL.

10:29 TRL.

10:30 Drew Whatever.

10:30 Caller Like TRL, but with a T.

10:32 Adam Yeah, but is it like TRL?

10:33 Drew TRL.

10:34 Adam Is like TRL Owens the same? Is it pronounced the same way?

10:38 Caller Yeah, pronounced the same way.

10:39 It's spelled different.

10:40 Adam Yeah.

10:40 Caller Quite a bit different.

10:41 Adam I'm going to need you to change the goddamn spelling of your horrible name so you don't have to keep correct. Well, what do you do? Correct somebody? How many times a week on average? 170 times a week?

10:50 Caller Probably. I've had one teacher my entire school career get my name right.

10:55 Drew TRL's going to Cardiff, UK. He's going to win this contest, I can feel it.

10:59 Adam You just keep, you go through your whole life correcting people, right?

11:02 Drew Portsmouth, I'm TRL.

11:04 Adam Well change your spelling then, idiot, so people can pronounce it.

11:08 Drew It's even going to be Dufeldorf, try to explain that.

11:10 Adam All right, all right. Here's all I'm saying. All these a-hole narcissist parents give their kids retarded names, they spell them differently. Of course, no one can make heads or tails of them. So everyone just goes, as a tur-a, tur-a, tur-a, and then you spend your, your child spends his entire life correcting authority, essentially, whether it's the principal, whether it's the coach, later on it becomes a parole officer, becomes a cops, becomes a judge, and all that comes to, you know, transvestites.

11:39 Caller But here's the point.

11:40 Adam Your kid just has to correct people their entire life. Well, here's the deal. Your parents should be fined for this, number one, for whatever you've done to deteriorate society's fabric by having to correct everyone all the time. And secondly, if no one can pronounce your goddamn name, then change the way it's spelled. So you don't have to go through your whole life going, here's, no, no, excuse me, you're wrong. Here's how I pronounced my stupid, retarded, fairy tale made up name, which by the way, we were, we were pronouncing correctly because you made it up. It's just, you've decided to pronounce something differently than phonetically and you made it up. That's the thing.

12:20 Drew You've decided, you've declared.

12:21 Adam Yeah, it's like, no, you've not pronounced it correctly.

12:25 Caller Oh yes, I have pronounced it correctly.

12:27 Drew My name's Terrell, how do you spell it? M-A-R-Y.

12:29 Adam There you go.

12:29 Drew That's it.

12:29 Adam Just go that way.

12:30 Caller Yeah, go all the way. Yeah, go all the way.

12:33 Drew Terrell, actually I'd have a little respect for it.

12:35 I would too.

12:36 Adam Start Terrell with an M and just go all the way in the FU department.

12:40 Caller That's a good idea.

12:42 Adam All right, kick your stupid parents in the groin for me if they're anywhere in the country. Go ahead.

12:47 Caller All right, I was wondering what the long-term effects of doing mushrooms were.

12:52 Drew Yeah, no one knows.

12:53 Adam You don't know how to spell your name.

12:54 Drew Yeah, you got a retarded name, but no one knows for sure, to tell you the truth. We are assuming that we're gonna see what's something called excitotoxicity, which is something that happens from essentially all hallucinogens. It causes your brain cells to push out chemicals that change the way chemicals come out of the cells and therefore are handled by the cells, and those chemicals that are actually a part of your brain's normal chemistry aren't packaged and contained normally and break loose inside the cell and create free radicals and destroy the cells. So it ends up causing brain damage. That's the long way of saying that. How much and how much you have to use before you get anything significant, I don't know, but there's plenty of cell damage that occurs just with senescence and aging and you want to keep everyone you got.

13:34 Adam Right. Here's the, here's why I have such a head of steam about this name spelling thing is for the first, how long do we do Loveline on MTV?

13:44 Drew Five years, man.

13:45 Adam Five, four, five years. Yeah. For the entire time we did it, I would beg the people who did the phone screening, who held up the card, who had the person's name on it, just spell the name phonetically, so I don't seem like an idiot, because what what would happen is, is I would look up, the only way we knew what calls to take is, I would look up, there'd be a cue card, and it would say S E E E N D Y, and I'd say scene, scene guy, scene, scene, scene, scene, scene, scene guy, scene, scene, scene, scene, scene, scene, scene, and the person is going to go, Cindy. Now I realize I look like a retarded person, because I can't read or pronounce the name Cindy, which sounds very easy. But the reality is, is this idiot spells it completely different, in a way you've never seen before. So you look like an idiot trying to sound it out.

14:39 Drew Then they started putting up partial phonetic stuff for you.

14:42 Adam I would go back and go ballistic on these people, because I would be like, don't, and they would go, but that's how she spelled it.

14:50 Caller And I would go, I don't care how she spelled it. Nobody can see.

14:56 Adam All they, they see me mispronouncing a name that everyone's heard of.

15:00 They don't know how it's spelled.

15:01 Drew Part of it though, part of it though, I remember them.

15:03 Caller That's how she spelled it.

15:05 Caller I don't care.

15:06 Drew Then there was another thing, and then they come back and go next time, next time around it would be spelled S-E-E-N-D-I-E.

15:12 I know.

15:13 Drew And you'd go, why didn't you put C-I-N-D-Y? Because you wanted it phonetically.

15:17 Yeah.

15:18 Caller Just write Cindy, how you spell Cindy. I will recognize it.

15:23 Drew Well, that was funny. That was the part that drove you crazy.

15:26 Adam It was like, look, I recognize the name Cindy. Just please goddamn spell it that way.

15:33 Caller No, she spells it with 11 Ys.

15:37 Yeah.

15:37 Caller Yeah.

15:38 Yeah.

15:38 Drew But then they would go to try to put it phonetically into something that didn't make any sense.

15:42 Adam I just realized I look like a retarded person because at home, to the viewer at home, I just can't read, I don't recognize the name Cindy. That's what the viewers at home.

15:55 Caller Yeah.

15:56 Adam No matter how many times I would say that, they would just snap and it would come back. That's how she spells it. And this brings me to a larger point, which is, let's just sign off on names and move forward. Like words. They're essentially words.

16:09 Drew Well, basically they're symbols. They're like letters. They really should be like, we're gonna start changing the shape of A. Well, just to make a scribble, that's an A. That's why A.

16:19 Adam But you don't spell exit 15 different ways on the freeway sign. It would just sign off. That's it. We'll decide which Cindy.

16:26 Drew Everyone's an individual. How dare you?

16:28 Caller Yeah.

16:28 Drew You're squashing the individuality.

16:30 Adam Yeah.

16:30 Drew Jackie.

16:32 Adam Hello?

16:33 Caller Jackie.

16:33 Adam 28?

16:34 Yeah.

16:35 Adam Yeah.

16:36 Jackie. I had a question. I recently had a failed marriage due to the fact that I got pregnant by somebody else and it's not going very good. I just wondered what the effects were on boys without mothers. Well, sorry, I'm really nervous. No, no, that's all right.

16:54 Drew Wait, you want this child to be adopted by somebody? Is that what you're saying?

16:57 No, I want to just give it to the father that I got pregnant by.

17:01 Oof.

17:02 He's an okay person, it's just him and I don't do very well.

17:07 Drew What is it with you that you think you could do that? That's what we've got to figure out here.

17:11 Adam She had a horrible childhood.

17:12 Drew Horrible, I guess. Were you just raising a orphanage?

17:15 Okay, I listen to you guys every single night. Yes, you guys could play a million games with me and you all would win. So we don't need to go into this.

17:22 Drew So go ahead and tell us what happened.

17:26 Sexually abused from 2 to 14. My mother beat me until I was 14. My father left me when I was 8. My stepfather died when I was 13.

17:34 Drew So here's the question to ask, Jackie.

17:36 Caller You want to know.

17:38 Drew Right. And actually in a way, you're sort of transforming from an abandoning sort of person that we can't really understand to our hero because the reality is given the upbringing you had, you may not be capable of parenting a child.

17:53 Adam Yeah.

17:54 Drew And to on behalf of that child.

17:55 Adam I don't know if it's really hero like absent mom.

17:58 Drew Well, mom doesn't listen. Mom doesn't put through who's realistic. Doesn't go, I'm a great mom. I'm a great. I love my child.

18:04 Adam I love my child.

18:05 Drew No, Jackie, you realize you were damaged growing up and it may affect your ability to be a parent and maybe the dad would be a better person to do the job. Perhaps. So there really is a question in this situation, what would be better for the child? And you can't really predict those things, but it doesn't sound like a great situation.

18:21 Adam Well, let me just backtrack for a second. You were in a marriage.

18:26 Caller Yeah, for seven years to an absolutely very perfect person. And as I left him, I realized that it was wrong. Right.

18:34 Adam Well, you couldn't tolerate it. You couldn't tolerate it because it was intimate, it was stable, and you need chaos because of your background.

18:43 Caller Exactly. And I created all the chaos. I'm supposedly bipolar and all that. And I know I'm crazy. I realized that I have episodes. I freak out. I cry. I do all that.

18:53 Adam All right. Let me just get a little history here. Do you have any children from this guy?

19:00 Caller Yes, I have two. I have a four-year-old and a three-year-old from my first husband.

19:04 Adam All right. Well, you have now. Now there's three kids. Yes. All right. I suggest punt, pass and kick competition. Let's see how far we can get them away from you via the old yes, you have an eleven-year-old now representing the Minnesota Vikings, Timmy Johnson, crowds cheering, he's punting the four-year-old. See, that's what we do with the three, which is just face them, whatever your best neighbor is, whatever your favorite, whoever doesn't have a swimming pool.

19:30 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah.

19:31 Adam Favorite neighbor, just go ahead and punt the kid that direction. All right.

19:34 Drew Jackie.

19:35 Caller Yes.

19:36 Drew How are the other two doing?

19:37 Caller They're doing fine. I mean, I'm really not a bad mom. I'm not. I do the best with my kids that I can, that I'm physically able to and the mental ability that I have.

19:47 Adam I know you're doing the best you can. I remember a raccoon would do the best a raccoon could too.

19:51 Caller Oh, come on.

19:52 I was listening to you guys the other day.

19:53 Caller You were talking to this one girl and you called her like a neurotic, crazy person with intelligence and I'm like okay that's kind of what I am. I have intelligence. I know I'm crazy. I could talk myself out of it.

20:04 Drew Well, let's say you're a neurotic, crazy person with insight, okay? We'll give you the insight.

20:09 Adam All right, so now you have this kid with this other guy and how old is this kid?

20:14 Caller Five months.

20:15 Adam Five months. And this other guy, does he want to raise this child?

20:20 Caller Oh, yeah. He's, we've, he's said it many times, you know, like, if this has to be over and we can't handle each other, I will take this baby. Don't worry about it. I will take him.

20:27 Drew What about giving the child up for adoption? Is that something you have control over?

20:31 Caller No, I, I just said, I don't, I couldn't, as crazy as I am, there's no way I could mentally handle that. There's no way.

20:39 Drew So you mean you want some sort of joint custody with this guy?

20:42 Caller Yeah. Like knowing that I would be able to come back to him if I needed to.

20:45 Drew OK, well there you go. You know what you need to do. That's what you need to do.

20:49 Adam I don't know, though.

20:50 Drew I think the adoption would be better.

20:51 Adam I think that's selfish and unrealistic. What you're doing here is you're jeopardizing this kid's mental health and possible life. So you can have an exit strategy. Like, well, I but I feel you could sleep at night. Like, I could always see him.

21:04 Drew And by the way, here's how this child is going to do that. Here's how this child is going to feel, which is she kept those two, but not me.

21:13 Adam No. Is it a girl?

21:16 Caller No, it's a boy. That's the question. I know I've heard you.

21:19 Adam Okay. Adoption for this child. Here are the two choices. Adoption or if this guy, and I imagine this to be a fantasy answer, this guy who is the father, biological father, is stable, has a job, can stay in a committed relationship with sane people, has a home, has a safe environment, is a loving parent, is responsible. Is this guy all the above?

21:49 Caller Yes. I just bought a house at the beginning of the month. I just bought a car, I mean he just got his raise. You know, I mean we're all doing really good.

21:57 Drew It's still going to be Adam though.

21:59 Adam What does this guy do for a living?

22:01 Caller The welder.

22:02 Drew He does layout. I felt welders coming from her.

22:05 Adam It's a big setback.

22:06 Caller It's a huge setback.

22:08 Adam And he has his own home.

22:11 Caller Yeah, we just bought our own house.

22:13 Adam I know you keep saying we, but I thought you're getting out of there.

22:16 Caller I don't know what to do. That was my question, is my son going to be really messed up if I were to leave him? And would it be better if I just go into the military and make my life better that way?

22:26 Adam Well, what about your other two kids?

22:29 Caller Their father is way okay. He makes a lot, a lot of money and they don't have to worry about any.

22:36 Adam Hold on one second. You want to find out what a lot, a lot of money is? Cause I'm 38 grand a year? Sixty-four?

22:49 Caller Going high.

22:51 Adam Jackie?

22:52 Caller No, I know what you're talking about. I just mean like as peons, as normal people.

22:57 Adam How much is a lot, a lot of money?

22:59 Caller He makes at least 60 or 70 by himself.

23:02 Adam Drew, look at him. Excited. Oh, I was kidding at 38, Jack Hall.

23:06 Caller No, he works, he's a superintendent for construction site that does air conditioning.

23:12 Adam All right. Well, he's he's on Easy Street then. Yeah, he shows up to work and a mink line rolls rolls every day and the roll of carpet out is His Highness approaches the construction site. I know. Wait a second.

23:28 Drew You know what?

23:29 Adam All right. Now hold on.

23:30 Caller So all right.

23:31 Adam Now hold on. This guy. You know why? You know why? I'm only mean when people that are effed up, crap out multiple, multiple kids, because let me just give everyone a quick speech. Please let me give everyone a quick speech. The only troubles we have in society is this. All the folks that were left behind in New Orleans, all the people on the roofs, all the crime, all the prisons. That's all it's filled with. We don't want to talk about it. We pretend like somehow your upbringing has nothing to do with how you turn out as an individual. It has everything to do with it. Every criminal, every person on drugs, for the most part, every repeat offender, everyone who gets into the system, everyone who costs millions of dollars to process, you find all these people, you find abuse, you find neglect. That's all. If we start shaping society that all kids are counted for, all kids are taken care of and that poor people or people with histories of mental instability or who have had horrible, abusive childhoods themselves, limit themselves to get a ton of, it's like lots of therapy versus not so many kids. What we got is tons of kids and no therapy from that person. And now, go look at the Superdome. That's what you end up with. That's it. That's all. When are we going to realize this? And when are we going to address it? I'm sure everyone knows it. Everyone thinks about it. Nobody says anything because everyone's a pussy. What the hell's going on with the phone? So, Jackie. Yeah, I'm here. Yeah. Drew's got three kids. You have three kids. Drew's three kids. We don't have to worry about.

25:17 Caller You're three kids.

25:18 Adam That could be an issue. We may have to step in. No, there may be home alert bracelets, you know, rest.

25:26 Caller No, no, no, no, no.

25:27 Adam There may be more kids being cranked out.

25:31 Caller There's a system.

25:32 Adam Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

25:33 Caller I mean, I grew up in the ghetto, don't get me wrong, but I climb my way out and I have done very, very hard and I've worked my butt off.

25:40 Adam All right. Well, that's the only reason I'm being tough on you. So look, here's the deal. You have your two biological kids are being raised by the air conditioning contractor, and you're going to.

25:52 Caller I have joint custody with him. I get my kids every single day. I get off work at 11 o'clock. I have my kids. I get up every single day. I'm with my kids. I drop them off at two o'clock. When I go to work, I pick them up when I get off work. I have.

26:03 Adam Where do they sleep?

26:04 Caller They sleep with me. I bet he had those two kids on the weekend.

26:08 Adam And now and he gets them on the weekends. And now you're looking at getting away from this guy you're living with.

26:15 Drew A new guy.

26:15 Adam The new guy.

26:16 A new guy.

26:18 Caller Not like now, but within the next couple of years, I really do want to go into the military. And I've heard you say, Adam, to this one kid that called in, it was like 19, you have nothing better to do with your life. You're worthless drug addict. Get off your ass. Sorry. Get off your butt and go into the military.

26:32 Adam That's good. That guy didn't have three kids. He was supposed to be a mother till.

26:36 Caller But can I do that at 30?

26:38 Drew Not with three kids. No, you're three kids. Your job is that.

26:41 Adam Your job is mom.

26:43 Drew Get off your butt and be a good mom. Commit yourself to that.

26:47 Caller But with having such a problem in my brain, I sometimes feel like I'm not capable of anything. Right.

26:55 Adam No. That's why, here's the thing, Jackie. You were abused and that's a tragedy. You were badly abused and that's a tragedy. And at a certain point in your life, you were a victim. Now, you're not a victim because you crapped out three kids that you're not interested in or that you're not chemically or emotionally able to take care of. And that's why I'm yelling at you. If you would take the clock back 20 years, I'd be yelling at the guy that was abusing you for what he was doing to his child. Now I'm yelling at you for what you're doing to your children. You see, it's called a cuna matata.

27:35 Drew The cycle of life.

27:36 Adam So you have three goals. A, no more goddamn kids.

27:42 Caller Oh, I know this.

27:43 Adam Yeah, you knew it after the first one, but you still had two more. B, do your work, baby. Therapy, whatever it takes. And three, your job is being a mother to these three children.

27:55 Drew And if you can't do it, I still think adoption for that one kid, sooner the better. Not after six months of age, though. No way.

28:02 Adam You let a welder raise this kid, and you're gonna go off to the military.

28:07 Drew On the other hand, the fact that she can't tolerate being with the welder almost is an endorsement to his capability, possibly. At least we know he is not crazy enough to be interesting to her.

28:17 Adam Yeah. Now look, here's the deal, everybody. Here's how it works. Here's the math equation. You stop the Jackies of the world from cramping out the kids. We have a utopia in about 25 years. No more prisons, no more judges, no more courts, no more nothing. Leave your doors open at night, everybody. Leave your briefcase on your car seat, the windows roll down because that's it. That's how it works. Nobody wants to talk about it. Nobody wants to think about it. You think somebody gets born into poverty with abusive family and an absentee father's got the same shot in life as one of Drew's kids? Of course not. It's not even close. I don't know why that can't be looked at. I don't know why nobody figures these things out. I think the government is aware of it. I just don't think they do anything about it. All right. They're too busy telling you how fast to drive, what license plate to have on the side of the car, too busy putting goddamn cameras up at the intersection to go ahead and get into topics that really matter. You all disgust me.

29:23 Caller We'll be back.

29:24 Caller Loveline.

29:25 Okay.

29:26 Caller Wait. Wait.

29:27 My hair.

29:28 Caller My hair.

29:29 Caller We'll be right back.

29:31 Adam Ready for something new? Try Durex Tingling Condoms. There's sex, and then there's Durex. Yeah, it's Love Line with Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. You ready to rock, Drewski? Ready to go, Drewski, Bob? I swear I was laughing over the weekend, trying to think about David Allen career, naming off.

30:25 Drew 100 micrograms of ethanol estradiol, which is the progesterone, it's the levonagestrel, and where is levonagestrel? Or the northendron.

30:37 Caller Northendron, put that whiffle ball back down, come in the house. I'm so behind, I'm sick of these kids, man.

30:49 Adam I am telling you, for my birthday, I want you to get a list.

30:55 Drew How about for Christmas?

30:56 Adam Or for Christmas.

30:57 Drew Because I want to get around to it sooner.

30:58 Adam To come to my home, I will invite David and you. I will tell David I'm throwing a Christmas party, but I won't invite anybody but him. He's going to show up and be like, what's happened? I don't smell any turkey or anything. It's just going to be him and you. And you're going to have to print out 700 names for hormones. They're in birth control pills. And then you're going to read it to him. And he's just going to repeat it to me as a black name.

31:24 Drew And we'll do it sort of like in rounds, like a boxing match. They'll stop, they'll break, they'll come back in.

31:30 Adam A little gatorade and then they'll come back. Because when we did it last, whatever, Wednesday or Thursday, we probably, what'd you have, about five or six of them?

31:39 Drew Names had four.

31:41 Adam Four? Was that all four of them? You're gonna have to come up with like 1400 though, you understand?

31:48 Drew No problem.

31:49 Adam And you can start getting, you know, you doesn't have to all just be birth control.

31:52 Drew No, I guess they're names.

31:54 Adam You got to give me a couple, just to see if I can think of some.

31:58 Drew Like sepulchral, I mean, cephaloxan.

32:01 Caller Cephaloxan, that would be a good one.

32:03 Adam That would be an awesome one for Tag to do.

32:06 Drew I've got Omniceph.

32:08 Adam Oh, Omniceph.

32:10 Drew That's a lot of good ones. Oh, wait, let's think of Lebedalol.

32:14 Caller Lebedalol. I don't, don't give me any more. Nadelol.

32:21 Caller Nadelol, I love you.

32:23 Adam Here's the deal. You stand next to David Alan Greer. You feed him that name.

32:28 Drew Losartan.

32:29 Caller Losartan.

32:30 Adam He feeds it back to me like a fat black mother.

32:32 Drew Yeah.

32:32 Adam Yelling for his child out in the yard.

32:34 Drew Yeah, you're going to die. You're going to die laughing.

32:36 Adam Just Anderson one more time. I can't get enough.

32:39 Drew 100 micrograms of ethanol estradiol, which is the progesterone. It's the levonogestrel.

32:47 Caller And where's the levonogestrel?

32:50 Drew Or the northendron.

32:51 Caller Northendron. Put that whiffle ball back down. Come in the house. So behind. I'm sick of these kids, man.

33:02 Caller Let's see if you can get some on here. Now we'll go through.

33:05 Caller How can I get fired?

33:08 Caller What's happened?

33:09 Adam It's we're going to go through like 2200 names. OK, it's going to take all night.

33:15 Drew I'm not going to be able to do it. I need the breaks. I may have to have just like a robot announce them because I'm going to die laughing.

33:23 Adam Jennifer.

33:23 Drew Yeah, I'll write them up. We'll have like somebody else. Yeah. We'll have people that normally sit around this show and announce them because they don't. They don't laugh.

33:30 Adam Yeah, that's true. Yeah, we'll get Anna or Lauren.

33:33 Drew Yeah, Lauren. Perfect. It will be perfect.

33:35 Adam Jennifer?

33:36 Caller Yeah. On your floor, then.

33:38 Adam Oh, we could have got, yeah, we could have got, you know, when engineer Chris was awesome.

33:42 Yeah, yeah.

33:43 Adam He had a stone face.

33:44 Drew He'd come back and do it.

33:45 Yeah.

33:46 Adam Jennifer?

33:47 Yes. Yes. Hi, Adam. Hi, Dr. Drew.

33:51 Adam What's happening?

33:51 Drew What's going on?

33:54 Well, I have a bizarre situation, I guess. I work in an adult store and one of the customers and I, we started off flirting and have kind of progressed and have started seeing each other.

34:06 Drew How do you flirt with somebody when you're like a clerk at a?

34:09 Adam Well, she's not necessarily a clerk. If she's cute, she may work at the peep show or something.

34:15 No, I do work in an adult store. And he's just a really nice guy to be.

34:20 Drew No, what do you do there at the store?

34:22 You sell merchandise and you rent videos out.

34:24 Drew She's a clerk.

34:25 Adam You just you just you just work behind that super high counter.

34:30 Yeah. And you know, I'm down on the floor.

34:34 Adam I listen at the adult places.

34:36 Drew Everything's up.

34:36 Adam Everything's up. It's weird.

34:38 Drew It's like you'd be up as high as possible. It's like those guys run around.

34:41 Adam It's like a cabbie dispatch or something like you got to step up four stairs and you have to approach the bench. You want to buy dildo. Please approach the bench with your anal plug. I mean, the thing, the counter is like 11 feet high.

34:55 Drew I kept saying if you had to work in that store, you know.

34:58 Adam Oh, yeah. You want to pay the guy. You just pull your wallet out. You jump up and throw it over your head. You do like a skyhawk.

35:04 Drew You work at a swamp. You sit in the swamp.

35:06 Adam That's right. Yeah, it's like being a swamp bugger. It's awesome. So you're up. You're behind the counter.

35:11 Drew How does that conversation go? What are you flirting about?

35:15 I mean, we just talk about...

35:17 Drew No, I mean, how did he strike up the conversation in the first place? Was it again, he's tossing the butt plug up to you?

35:24 Adam No, he broke the ice with the... Do you have the Ass Master series? Is that being under fetish or anal lovers? Okay. Yeah.

35:33 Drew I don't use it for a friend.

35:34 Caller Just for...

35:35 Adam Yeah. Okay.

35:36 Caller Yeah.

35:36 Adam You know what? I noticed you had Ass Masters 1 through 14. I noticed 12 wasn't there. Out of print. Can you back order? Okay. And Yabangus Uranus would be in the same? Thanks, sweetie. Hey, what's your name?

35:53 Drew Right. Did it go like that? Yeah.

35:54 Caller It would be awesome.

35:57 No. I mean, he asked us different questions as far as the different videos, but it was basically as he was leaving one night, he said, you look really good tonight. He's not creepy as far as looks or his attitude or anything. So we just start talking and he's a regular. He comes in about every night.

36:17 Adam About every night. And he's not creepy or anything. But what is he doing there every night? I mean, here's my whole thing.

36:24 Drew How much creepier do you need to be, by the way? Who?

36:26 Adam All right. I got a ton of things to say. Who is renting porn in this year of odd five? You know what I mean?

36:32 Drew And doesn't look on the web or something, you mean?

36:35 Adam A disc is like $4 and you can get it like at the gas station or the car wash or something.

36:41 Drew You know what I mean?

36:42 Adam Who's like going in and renting pornography? Or if you're buying pornography, let's go ahead and plop down 60 bucks, walk with eight or 10 titles, and then hunker down in the spankatorium for a few weeks. What is this part where you're going in every night?

36:59 Drew Maybe just to see her.

37:01 Adam I think it is. Is he renting porn?

37:04 Yeah, he rents one porn a night.

37:06 Drew Does anybody else do that? Have you just noticed he's the only one that has done it?

37:09 No, there's actually quite a few regular guys that do that. They have standing accounts of us.

37:15 Adam On VCR or on?

37:17 No, DVD.

37:18 Adam It's all DVD?

37:19 Drew Or any of them under the age of 30?

37:22 I honestly don't know.

37:24 Drew Maybe there's an old timer who just gets stuck in this mode.

37:27 Adam He's just renting DVDs?

37:28 Drew Maybe they just keep it out of habit or whatever.

37:31 This particular guy, he's 38.

37:34 So he is a little bit older than I am.

37:36 Adam Yeah. And in what kind of movies does he rent?

37:40 That's the thing.

37:44 We haven't had sex yet.

37:45 We've kissed, that type of stuff. But their bondage, their anal, their stuff, I'm not into. So, what I'm concerned about is...

37:55 Drew Well, you know, in a way, it is a little sort of a diabolical quality to this. The guy sort of declares himself upfront. That's what this guy's into.

38:03 Well, but my question is just because if he's renting that, is that something he'll want to actually do or is he just...

38:09 Drew I would say yes. I would say yes.

38:11 Adam Way out on a limb, way out on the anal limb here and go with the ass. And how prophetic was money? He banged his uranus five minutes ago.

38:20 Drew Some guys though are in need of high levels of arousal just because they aren't with a person for so long.

38:26 Adam Right.

38:26 And he said that he's been without a partner for a year now.

38:31 Drew And the reality is that he'll start going down that path again later too. All right.

38:34 Adam But Jennifer, what's up with you? Big ass? What's going on?

38:39 No. Well, I was I've been through domestic violence. So I've taken a break from dating altogether. In about a year and a half.

38:48 Drew The way to deal with domestic violence is to go work in a porn shop. And there's no right.

38:52 No, well, I go to school during the day. This is not a lifestyle for me. This is not somewhere where I'm going to be five years from now.

39:00 Adam To junior college.

39:01 Yes, I'm going through nursing.

39:05 Adam I'm going to go back with, really, how much do you weigh?

39:09 I am slightly overweight.

39:11 Adam Yeah, you cannot be a nurse unless you're clinically morbidly obese.

39:15 Drew That's not true.

39:15 Adam No, it's true.

39:16 Drew And work in a porn shop.

39:18 Adam Well, no, you have to be. I have seen some nursing students that just, you know, when they put the scrubs on. Well, I have seen them look like an apartment that was being fumigated.

39:31 Drew The sheet's been thrown out of the furniture.

39:33 Adam No, I'm talking about the actual building that's been tented.

39:37 Drew I see.

39:38 Adam I have seen some of the biggest women I've ever seen as wearing this, like orange or purple scrubs.

39:45 Drew Think about how thankless that job is and how codependent it is.

39:49 Adam Yes.

39:49 Drew What kinds of heritage tends to go with choosing that sort of career? Abuse. And then the abuse goes into keeping people away with the big body.

39:57 Adam Yes. I mean, here's the thing. You could, once in a while, you get a crazy Asian nurse and they go 80 pounds.

40:04 Drew Once in a while.

40:05 Adam Once in a while. But if you go anything other than that, you're looking at three bills at least. Jennifer.

40:12 Drew Yeah.

40:13 Adam I don't trust this guy. I don't like the idea that you're working in a porn store. I don't like the idea that you're thinking about dating the anal fetish guy.

40:24 Drew It's generally not a great idea.

40:26 Adam And you know what's going on here, Jennifer? Your self-esteem was injured.

40:32 Drew Desperation meets opportunity.

40:33 Adam You're a little bit desperate, and this guy's sort of gobbling you up. There's nothing wrong with you. You can have real relationships with real guys. You don't have to work at a porn store, and you don't have to date the dregs to come into the porn store. You were physically abused. That means your parents are bad guys, not you're a bad guy. You understand?

40:53 No, I wasn't abused by my parents. I was molested by my cousin growing up, and then I've been through two very serious domestic violence issues, and they were pretty bad.

41:05 Adam Right.

41:06 It wasn't my parents.

41:07 Drew Yeah. All right.

41:08 Adam Forget about your parents, but you're looking for number three. You're going to get the hat trick of domestic abuse if you hook up with Mr. Anal Bondage guy.

41:16 Drew Right.

41:17 Adam Let's get a gig somewhere other than in a porn store. Focus on your nursing. Just have a normal thing. Let me tell you something, ladies. There's a nice guy out there for all of you. There absolutely is. Any ones who don't feel great because you don't look as good as you'd like to look in a skirt or a pair of ski pants, there's plenty of guys for you too out there. You see them everywhere you go all day long. Go to the mall. There's some guy and he's got some chicks. He's got a big ass and who cares?

41:45 Drew He's boring.

41:46 Adam He's boring. She's got a big ass. Everything's fine.

41:49 Drew And that's what they can't quite tolerate.

41:51 Adam All right. I'm partially blind. Let's take a quick break, Drew, yes?

41:54 Drew Yes.

41:55 Adam We'll be right back after this.

41:57 Caller You have five seconds.

41:58 Drew Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Back in a minute.

42:05 Adam Huh?

42:24 Yeah.

42:25 Adam Drew, start talking. I got you.

42:27 Drew I want to remind people that all callers who get on the show tonight will receive two tickets to see Cry Wolf. And this movie is about a group of students who exploit the news of a recent murder. Their seemingly harmless prank turns terrifyingly real as a killer stalks them one by one. Basically, as Adam said, this nightmare in Elm Street makes weird science. They create an online character to try to freak everybody out, and it comes true. And everyone who wins, everyone who gets tickets tonight, everyone over 18 who calls, qualifies to win a trip to see Block Party from the movie soundtrack. They have a movie soundtrack called Cry Wolf, interestingly. And they will be able to follow them anywhere in Europe. They've got a huge tour. We've got a list of like 40 different cities they're going to be in. You can follow them anywhere. And the movie comes out this Friday. You Lie, You Die.

43:10 Adam You do.

43:11 Drew Cry Wolf in theaters everywhere.

43:12 Adam Yeah.

43:13 Drew We'll announce the winner next Sunday.

43:14 Adam You Lie, You Die.

43:16 Caller That's the tagline?

43:17 Adam Yeah.

43:18 Caller IMDb's got another one for it. What?

43:20 Adam What does? You Bangus Uranus.

43:23 Drew What is it? What is it?

43:25 Adam Come on. Do that once.

43:26 Caller Nobody. Nobody believes a liar even when he's telling the truth.

43:31 Caller Oh, really?

43:31 Drew You die.

43:32 Adam I like you lie.

43:32 Caller You die or better.

43:34 Adam You bangus Uranus.

43:36 Drew You're as you ain't as you bangus.

43:38 Adam You ain't as you bangus. You ain't as you bangus. You ain't as that might be nice. If I ever do a movie, that's going to be the slug. No, I know just to create a little confusion and buzz. What is this movie? You bangus Uranus.

43:54 Drew I think I'd spell it too.

43:56 Adam Oh yeah.

43:58 Drew Tia.

43:59 Adam Hello. What's up? Let me play a little Germany or Florida, Drew. Bree's been on hold for a thousand years.

44:05 Caller Bree.

44:07 Yeah. Adam.

44:09 Caller Corolla.

44:11 Adam Yeah, I think it's catching on. Hey Bree.

44:13 Caller Yeah.

44:13 Adam Nice job. You sound sweet.

44:15 Caller Oh, thanks.

44:17 Adam Let's hear the David Allen theme song mixed in with the Black Children's Name.

44:30 Caller Is it Germany or Florida? Hey, Germany or Florida? Let's find out.

44:50 Adam Yeah.

44:51 I like the opera one, too.

44:54 Adam Well, really?

44:55 Yeah, that one's cool.

44:56 Drew I'm not sure if he's gonna come up with that.

44:58 Adam We'll see if he does.

44:59 Drew Would you rather hear ethanol estradiol?

45:01 Caller Germany, oh Florida.

45:03 Drew 100 micrograms of ethanol estradiol, which is-

45:06 Caller Ethanol, estradiol.

45:08 Drew It's the progesterone. Y'all get in the house. It's the levonadestriol.

45:12 Caller And where's levonadestriol?

45:14 Drew Or the northendron.

45:16 Caller Northendron. Put that whiffle ball back down. Come in the house. It's your behind. I'm sick of these kids, man.

45:25 All right, Bray. Go ahead.

45:27 Drew Come in the house, Bray.

45:30 A woman is in the hospital with third degree burns tonight after she tried to kill a spider colony in her garage. She had discovered the colony had first decided to kill them using hairspray. When this didn't work, she tried to burn them with her lighter. This explosive combination caused her garage to blow up and left her with severe burns. Germany or Florida.

45:47 Drew Maybe she was trying to torch it.

45:48 Adam Wow, it wouldn't cause her... Hairspray is exquisitely flammable.

45:53 Drew But maybe she was trying to torch it with the hairspray and blue can.

45:55 Adam Do you understand that napalm is not as flammable as aquanet?

46:00 Drew Interesting.

46:01 Adam I mean, hairspray is the most flammable substance known to man. And it's weird to spray that all over your head.

46:08 Yeah.

46:10 Drew Yeah.

46:10 Adam Anyway, because you blow out some candles and your head goes up like a Roman candle. Woof.

46:15 Drew OK, so I'll say Germany.

46:18 Adam I don't think it caused it to blow up, though.

46:20 Drew It just caught on fire.

46:21 Adam She caught something on fire.

46:24 Drew I guess she's using like a blowtorch.

46:25 Adam Yeah, I like that. You know, the Germans have a rich history with incineration of people. Normally, the Germans like to just burn people. I mean, that's their thing. Like, hey, let's round up Jews and burn them. That's that's their thing. You know what I mean? That's what they're great at. That's that's, you know, that and cars. They make good cars, but they're even better at burning human beings. That's what Germans normally do. But in this case, I'm going Florida.

46:55 Drew OK, what do you got?

46:58 OK, answer is Germany.

47:00 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah, I told you.

47:04 Drew Thank you, Brie. Well done.

47:05 Adam What can't those people learn?

47:06 Drew Wait, wait.

47:08 Can I ask something of Anderson?

47:11 Drew Really fast.

47:12 Please. OK, at the end of last year, like the very last Best Of, like he played a really like a weird little clip, like of a bunch of drops of you guys, and it was really funny.

47:23 Drew All right, Anderson.

47:24 Caller Yeah, I have no idea.

47:26 Drew Can you resurrect it?

47:27 Caller I don't know what that is. I'm sorry. Bunch of I remember I was running. I was running short on one of them, and I played that song that I made of you, Adam, called Millionaire.

47:35 Yeah, yeah, that's the one.

47:37 Caller Yeah, maybe I'll find.

47:38 Drew Let's play it. Get the Drew Shuffle out to all his old song.

47:41 Caller Yeah, I raised the ones I didn't do. I didn't really erase them, I'm kidding.

47:45 Drew All right.

47:46 Adam Dust off some of those old ones and we'll play them when we come back.

47:50 Caller Yeah, keep your food. Adam, you can eat while we do it. All right.

47:52 Adam We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

48:14 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

48:25 Adam There, buddy.

48:26 Drew That was Anderson's attempt at French.

48:28 Caller Oh, it was.

48:29 Drew That was trois, deux, go.

48:30 Adam Oh, that sounded pretty good.

48:33 Drew That was one.

48:34 Caller Yeah, one, one, ooh.

48:36 Drew Oh, yeah.

48:37 Adam Oh, phone number.

48:39 Caller Oh, oh, oh.

48:41 Adam Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. There's Dr. Drew, I'm Adam Corolla. I've got myself a little show out on Comedy Central called Too Late with Adam Corolla, or Too Late with Moi. As I like to keep with the French team. Monday through Thursday, 1130. Drew?

49:00 Drew Yeah.

49:00 Adam Were we going to, was Anderson, as per requested, going to play some oldies but goodies from the Loveline archives?

49:11 Drew Anderson? Here comes one. Pee on this stick. His mind.

49:14 Adam The Dr. Drew Shuffle.

49:16 Pee on this stick.

49:17 Adam That's your high horse getting out of the barn.

49:19 Drew Makes me sick. If I find you stealing my underwear again, here's what's going to happen. Stuff like this. Stuff like this.

49:26 Caller Stuff like this.

49:27 Drew Makes me sick. You're fat. You're fat. Can I say that? You're fat. I can say it. You're overweight. I want to be dominated. You're gay. I want to be dominated. You're gay. When I was 19, I ate about four boiled peyote buttons and stayed up all night but felt no effect. It's called intimacy. Can I say that? This is not acceptable. Can I say that? You're fat. Pee on this stick. Boiled peony button. You're overweight. Can I say that? That's a good one.

49:58 Adam What's wrong?

50:00 Caller Here comes the boogie.

50:02 Drew Oh, it's still me.

50:10 Caller You're fat.

51:01 Adam Wow, I forgot the dysfunctional, not acceptable part at the end of that.

51:05 Drew That's a good one.

51:06 Adam Yeah, that was solid.

51:07 Caller Yeah, those were both Dooley.

51:09 Drew Yeah, yeah.

51:10 Adam Yeah, those old engineered Dooley.

51:12 Drew Is this the one that was sent in for Adam?

51:14 Caller No, this is the one that I made like a year and a half ago.

51:16 Drew Okay, all right.

51:16 Caller But then I just, yeah.

51:18 Drew Let's hear it.

51:21 Adam I'm gonna say something amazingly profound right now.

51:26 Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I like this one. I don't remember this one. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

51:37 Drew My boyfriend literally...

51:41 Caller Why?

51:45 Adam You can't articulate yourself any better than that.

51:49 Caller I did some gate porn with my mother, who I had sex with.

51:52 Drew Oh, come on.

51:53 Oh, no.

51:57 Caller I had a little yeasty on the peckeroo, peckeroo, peck, peck, peckeroo.

52:01 Adam Alright, I'm giving you all the sex starting now.

52:07 Caller Uh, I just got done whacking off to my mom.

52:11 Caller Mommy?

52:13 Adam The world is your oyster.

52:15 Caller I mean, because that's all the world is.

52:19 Adam Drew is so jealous of my peckeroo. I'm the smartest of all the blue collar guys, and I'm stupid. The point is, if I can do it, anyone can do it.

52:32 Drew My boyfriend is literally a millionaire.

52:35 Caller Yeah.

52:37 Drew I like that one. That sucks.

52:39 Caller No way.

52:40 Caller It's funny.

52:43 Caller It was a pick me up to let everyone know that they could be a millionaire like you.

52:47 Caller Tia.

52:48 Caller Why do you hate that one so much, Corolla?

52:50 Yes.

52:50 Adam Tia.

52:51 Caller Yes. Yes, I am.

52:54 Adam What's up?

52:55 Caller Well, first of all, I just want to tell you guys that, Dr. Drew, I think you're brilliant. And Adam, what you were saying earlier about parents and how their actions affect their kids, I just think is right on. And I just wanted to let you know that first of all. My question is, it was March of 2004, I realized that I had a severe drinking problem and I admitted myself into a rehab for four days. Basically, when I wouldn't drink, I would get tremors so bad, I thought I was having a heart attack.

53:29 Drew Well, you're having near DTs and that can be a fatal problem, so you have a treat.

53:34 Adam Why do you say near DTs?

53:35 Drew Well, true DTs is cardiovascular collapse. You'd be on a ventilator and IVs and a monitoring unit. But the other thing that we've now learned about the alcohol withdrawal syndrome is that when you get significant withdrawal, it looks as though there's actually brain damage occurring as a result of the withdrawal. So there's a medical reason to have your withdrawal treated above and beyond just the safety of suppressing the withdrawal.

53:55 Adam What made you realize on that date that you had a problem?

53:58 Caller Well, it wasn't necessarily the date. It just, it progressed and over time I realized that when I would try to quit drinking on my own, that I would get really sick and I would...

54:08 Drew But his question is very appropriate to you, which is why did you decide you needed to stop? What made you come in that day?

54:15 Caller I was basically killing myself.

54:17 Drew How did you know that?

54:20 Caller How did I know that?

54:21 Drew You've been killing yourself. Listen, I go through this with every...

54:25 Adam You gave us, on March 23rd, 2002, I checked myself in to rehab because on that day, I knew I had a problem. And then you're like, what happened that day? Huh? Oh, I'd been drinking for a while.

54:41 Drew Yeah.

54:42 Adam I know, but why that day? You started with the date.

54:45 Drew You gotta understand, every single patient enters my unit, I go through that exact discussion. I sort of amuse myself with it because they'll say, I'm just, I got tired, I scared. Well, why today? Well, you know, this has been going on a long time. Yeah, we've been going on like five, eight years. Why today? Why'd you decide to come in today? And denial, part of denial, the way it works is, it prevents them from really feeling the depths of what has happened to them. Now, if somebody's really gonna turn it around, they usually come in because something's scared that something happened that led them to believe they are going to die.

55:14 Adam Well, Kia doesn't seem to have that.

55:16 Drew Oh, no, she's got it in there. What made you think you were gonna die? Yeah, what made you think you were gonna die?

55:21 Caller Well, it wasn't only that. What you said just actually triggered, there was an occurrence the night before where basically I wasn't acting like myself at all. I was trying to break down my back door because my husband locked me out because he realized that I had a bottle of alcohol that I was hiding from him.

55:36 Drew And that frightened you.

55:37 Adam Oh, okay. All right, so somebody. Right. Your husband laid down the law.

55:43 Caller Well, basically, yes.

55:45 Drew You can't imagine.

55:46 Adam Why you couldn't spit that out an hour and 40 minutes ago?

55:48 Drew I'll never know. Hang on a second, Adam, I'd say four times out of 10, I open the chart and I see the police brought him. Court order.

55:57 Adam And they couldn't, they can't come up with that. They still say that you brought them to rehab.

56:00 Drew No, they'll go, I just got tired of this. They can't, that's not what's happening.

56:03 Adam Your husband said he was gonna divorce you if you didn't go into rehab.

56:06 Caller No, I actually didn't. I just knew that that's what I needed to do.

56:10 Drew It scared her.

56:11 Adam You knew that after your husband screamed at you, you have to stop drinking and we're gonna leave you.

56:15 Caller No, it was more that I was afraid that I was completely not acting like myself. Normally, I would never have done something like that.

56:21 Adam In fact, the point where your husband locked you out of your house, neither here nor there.

56:26 Caller Well, it had quite a bit to do with it, yeah.

56:28 Adam Well, stop by.

56:29 Drew No, let's hear a question. Oh, come on, let's hear a question.

56:31 Adam Screw off.

56:32 Drew Stop arguing. You're still mad at Anderson. You're mad at Anderson.

56:34 Adam No, I'm not mad at Anderson. I'm trying to get her to admit that basically the reason she went to rehab is because her husband drew a line in the sand. Yes. She keeps going back to, I just knew it was time to.

56:48 Drew It's precipitated the crisis.

56:49 Adam You got a guy yelling at you. He's not letting you in your own home.

56:53 Drew Yeah, you can't. Alcoholics don't think like that, though.

56:55 Adam Good. They can think on hold for a while. Melinda?

56:59 Hi.

57:00 Adam You're 19?

57:01 Caller Um, yeah.

57:02 Adam What's up, baby doll? Oh, you're calling from Rape Bank.

57:07 Caller Yeah, Burbank.

57:09 Adam Well, it used to be called Burbank until...

57:11 Drew Some call it Burbank.

57:12 Adam Some of the old timers still call it Burbank, but all the new folks that have tried to either drive or walk through the city and have gotten chicken-ass tickets millions of times have changed it to the new name, which is Rape Bank, because that's what the cops do, the citizens over there. But go ahead, Melinda.

57:29 Drew The Burr has an acronym for being Urban Rape. That's what it is. So they shortened it.

57:37 Adam You ever gotten a jaywalking ticket in Burbank, Melinda?

57:41 Caller Never.

57:43 Adam It's coming. Possibly later today. Also, I hope you made up the name Melinda, because if any city officials from the city of Burbank are listening and realize there's someone who's made it to 19 years of age who lives in their city, who's not yet gotten a jaywalking ticket, they will come after you.

58:05 Drew They'll come to the home invasion.

58:06 Adam Yeah, because their plan is no citizen of this fair city should not receive a jaywalking ticket by their 16th birthday. So this is going to be a Logan's Run type situation for you. And they're not even pulled over for any chicken ass reasons?

58:24 Caller No, actually, I'm not really in Burbank all the time because I go to school in Pasadena. I've just made that choice because I wanted to study art.

58:32 Drew So she's at the art center.

58:34 Adam You still have to return to right bank though every night. All right.

58:38 Caller Yeah.

58:38 Drew All right. Here we go. What's going on?

58:40 Caller Well, I just had a question. I like, I tend to masturbate a lot. I do it like maybe, I don't know, like three or four times a day. Sometimes I'll do it never and sometimes I'll do it all the time. It just completely depends.

58:54 Adam Let me write that down. What did you say the first one?

58:57 Drew Sometimes never.

58:58 Adam Sometimes never.

58:59 Drew Sometimes all the time.

59:00 Adam All right. I have a pretty good idea what's going on.

59:03 Drew How many times, how many days a week is it frequent? Is it all the time day? How many days a week are all the time days?

59:13 Caller Sorry, repeat that.

59:15 Drew How many days a week is it all the time day?

59:20 Caller I would say four out of the seven, maybe five.

59:23 Drew And the other day is none?

59:25 Caller Yeah.

59:26 Drew Okay. And were you sexually abused growing up?

59:29 Caller No, no, not at all.

59:31 Drew How old were you when you started doing this?

59:33 Caller I was probably in like eighth grade or so.

59:37 Drew Were you living in a very chaotic family?

59:40 Caller My dad was sort of, you know, on and off, kind of like he was, it was like a rough upbringing kind of thing. It wasn't like sexually, he was always very.

59:51 Drew I understand. But it's one of the things.

59:52 Adam He was in a bad mood.

59:53 Drew Yeah. One of the common things.

59:54 Adam He would come home with 5J walking tickets and be in a horrible mood.

59:57 Drew One of the common phenomenon that develops is children that are living in chaotic and disturbing family systems start to use these kinds of means of self-regulating. Younger kids will masturbate and do inappropriate sexual things in public or towards their peers. They won't be sexual, but they'll be sort of inappropriately activating that system, let's say. And if you come from a very rough family system as an adolescent, it's more common that this kind of thing gets going. Now you could also be bipolar. Was there any physical abuse?

1:00:30 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

1:00:31 Drew Yeah. And having been an abuse victim, again, gets this sort of energy going. It doesn't have to be sexual abuse. Sexual abuse would sort of throw much more chaos and character problems into the picture here.

1:00:44 Adam People want to know why I have such an axe to grind with the city of Burbank. They gave me a jaywalking ticket many years ago for crossing at a light in the crosswalk. And the cop said that I stepped off the curb after the light started blinking, the don't walk thing, even though I still slowly walked across the intersection and stood on the curb on the other side long before the signal changed. And he zipped over the same direction I walked, by the way. He went the same direction behind me after I got on the curb. That's how you know the light didn't change. And he wrote me a jaywalking ticket. And I told him, this is crazy. I'm in the, I'm at the signal, I'm in the crosswalk. I just walked across. I'm standing on the other side. I didn't even know what we're doing here. He said, no, I'm writing you one. And I said, look, here's what we could do. We could save you some time, we could save me some time. I'm going to fight this ticket because I didn't do anything wrong. And he said, knock yourself out. And he handed me the ticket. And went in, made a court date, took two, three trips to the courthouse. I think you pay them in advance, too, and then they give you the money back. And then, the third or fourth time I showed up, then I got my court date. Let me explain the court date. It's not like the judge swings by your pad on a Saturday. You go there Tuesday at noon. And wait, leave whatever job you have. You go get in line. And the chicken-ass cop who wrote me the ticket obviously didn't show up because he had, you know, not a leg to stand on or wasn't interested. And I won. Well, here's what I won. Just because he didn't show up. So I won. So here's what I won. What I win. I didn't have to pay 100 bucks or 80 bucks or whatever it was. What I lost was three, four days of work and a bunch of trips back and forth to the courthouse. I won. Now, here's the way it should work. A, if you win, then you should get paid whatever it is they wanted you to pay. That's how it should work.

1:02:50 Drew That'd be winning.

1:02:50 Adam You said I did something. You won 87.50. I say I didn't do it. And if we figure out I didn't do it, you pay me the 87.50. Otherwise, what's to stop you from handing out these things all day, every day? Answer, Drew.

1:03:06 Drew Nothing.

1:03:06 Caller Nothing.

1:03:07 Caller That's why they do it.

1:03:10 Drew What did you tell the judge? Did you tell the judge you complained?

1:03:13 Caller Yes.

1:03:13 Drew What did he say?

1:03:13 Caller Here's the thing. I want to sue your ass.

1:03:16 Drew What did the judge say?

1:03:18 Adam They're not very sympathetic to irate citizens who are tired of their chicken ass.

1:03:23 Drew Did he say anything?

1:03:24 Adam No. Whatever. I was just standing there in court looking around for the idiot who wrote me the ticket. The guy never showed up. He just slammed the thing and moved on to the next. He wouldn't talk to the judge? Whatever. I don't know. I told him this is a nonsense. It's just on to the next thing. It's not like I want to approach him in his chambers or something. They got a whole line of idiots they've written chicken ass tickets to. They have to get through that day. But the problem is, is I lost three days of work.

1:03:56 Drew I know you should be able to complain about that.

1:03:58 Adam I just should be able to get the money back. I need to be reimbursed. You wrote a zero chicken ass ticket. And for that, I took three days off work. There you go. Now the good news is, is I've gotten 7,000 hours of radio talk time about it. But the idea that they wrote me a ticket in the crosswalk at a signal. And everyone I know has passed through Burbank has gotten one of those. And that's why I hate that place. And here's the thing. All I'm saying. Here's all I'm saying. It's time to take the streets back and not from the criminals, from the cops who then need to take the streets back from the criminals. So here's my move. We'll take the streets back, not from the gangbangers, from the cops with the chicken ass tickets. And then you guys go ahead and take care of the gangbangers.

1:04:43 Drew I mean, take your detail off the citizens onto the criminals.

1:04:47 Adam Yes, yes, yes, yes. Let's shift the focus from harassing taxpayers to going after crime. I know it sounds wild.

1:04:58 Drew Crazy.

1:04:58 Adam It sounds crazy.

1:05:00 Drew We lost Tia because of all your who cares?

1:05:02 Adam Oh, who cares?

1:05:03 Drew Screw her. I want to talk to her. I want to talk to her.

1:05:04 Adam I want to talk to her. I want to talk to her. We got it in three minutes.

1:05:07 Drew Every alcoholic does that.

1:05:08 Adam Well, good. I'll hang up on every one of them. Go ahead, Sharon.

1:05:13 Hello?

1:05:14 Adam That's what I'm talking about.

1:05:16 Sharon? Am I on?

1:05:19 Drew There we go.

1:05:19 Adam You're 18. What's up?

1:05:20 Caller Hi. Well, first of all, I just want to say that you guys are awesome. I think you guys are just the best. Everything you say is right on with my beliefs as well.

1:05:32 Adam Thanks.

1:05:33 Caller So, basically, I was just wondering if, I don't know, I think I might have OCD. Like, I get really obsessive, like, with things, like, as far as, like, well, lately, I've just been, like, I haven't been able to be alone. Like, I've been, like, starting relationships, like, one after the next, like, not even getting done with the last one. Like, I've been really afraid to, like, kind of just be alone. So, I don't know.

1:05:57 Drew You've never been like that before, and all of a sudden you became that way?

1:05:59 Caller Yeah, like, I don't know if that's just the way it's been manifesting itself right now, or...

1:06:05 Drew Well, how does it usually manifest?

1:06:07 Caller Well, I don't know. Just, I just know that, like, before I used to, like, be, like, really, you know, into being, like, a neat freak, you know? And now, all of a sudden, since I've become older, you know, it's been more like this, like, for probably about the past six months.

1:06:23 Drew I don't see that these things are related in any way. That's just, you're 18, you start having relationships, and you're having difficulty really being sort of healthy about it. You're just, you're compulsively going from one to another to another, and I don't know what's, why they're failing. What's happening in these relationships?

1:06:39 Caller Well, also, I'm like, I usually only go for much older men.

1:06:45 Adam How old?

1:06:46 Caller Like, 30s, 40s.

1:06:48 Adam You're 18? How many guys over 30 have you had sex with?

1:06:54 Caller Probably two.

1:06:57 Adam It's not a ton.

1:06:58 Caller Well, yeah, but older, it's been like more like three in the 40s, probably.

1:07:04 Adam Oh, older. Oh, in the 40s?

1:07:06 Caller Yeah.

1:07:07 Adam You've had sex with three guys over 40?

1:07:10 Caller In their 40s.

1:07:12 Drew In their 40s. Over, that would be over 40.

1:07:14 Adam That would be over, yeah.

1:07:17 Drew She thinks she thinks of over 40 as over 50. I see.

1:07:21 Adam I see. I see. All right. I'm not going to punish her. All right. How old is the oldest guy you've had sex with?

1:07:30 Caller Wow.

1:07:31 Adam Great pubes. What's happening? All right. Well, they must be stoked, those guys. Yeah.

1:07:38 Drew Yeah, I got to worry about those guys. Who are those guys? Well, Sharon, so you don't, you don't.

1:07:42 Adam Who are those guys?

1:07:43 Drew Yeah, you don't find people to have relationships with.

1:07:45 Adam All the guys in the film industry aren't gay.

1:07:49 Drew So you're basically just acting out sexually. This is not about not being alone. This is about being sexually compulsive.

1:07:55 Caller Oh, okay. So I don't even know what to do about it. I just like I obsess about things like this all the time.

1:08:01 Drew Well, give us some history with what went on. What happened here?

1:08:05 Caller As far as my relationships with guys?

1:08:07 Drew Yeah, or growing up.

1:08:08 Adam Past.

1:08:09 Caller Well, okay. I know you guys probably gonna ask this. Well, my dad was alcoholic.

1:08:14 Drew Okay.

1:08:15 Caller I don't know if that has anything to do with it.

1:08:17 Drew Was he abusive towards you?

1:08:19 Caller Yeah, he was.

1:08:20 Drew What did he do?

1:08:21 Caller Well, he hit me and stuff. I'd find that growing up, I had like no emotional attachment to my parents whatsoever.

1:08:31 Drew Why?

1:08:32 Caller Well, it's just like, I guess like my parents, they just never really like talked to me or anything like even.

1:08:39 Drew They weren't emotional.

1:08:40 Adam But now she's getting attention.

1:08:41 Drew Well, now you sound like you have an anxiety disorder really more than anything.

1:08:44 Caller Oh, yeah, like I know I have an anxiety problem.

1:08:47 Drew Yeah, Sharon, why don't you see somebody? I mean, this is something that's quite treatable. You need to form an attachment to somebody, work through some of these feelings, learn to have a relationship with somebody, i.e. a therapist, and you'll start to attract and be attracted to healthier people. And these are not even relationships you're having now. There's some sort of attempt to basically recreate the past or make good in the past, the abusive, unavailable dad. And what you end up doing is being with guys that are abusive and unavailable and old who remind you of your dad, and pow, you just recreate the same trauma all over again.

1:09:14 Adam Good times. David?

1:09:16 Yes, hi.

1:09:17 Adam Hey, you're 23.

1:09:18 Caller How are you doing? I just wanted to say that I respect you guys very much and listen to you every night.

1:09:23 Adam Thank you, David. We appreciate that.

1:09:25 Drew You have your Rams today, by the way.

1:09:29 Adam Let me look, you know, all I ask, I ask for two things. It's could the goddamn Patriots lose a goddamn game? Could they just lose one game? And could the Rams beat a crappy team for the home opener or for the season opener? Answer, no and no. That's all. Thursday, I was like, look, here's what I'm looking for. I'm looking for one of these two things to happen. Either the Pats just lose. Could they just please just lose one game? Or could the Rams win? Or, you know, of course I couldn't hope for both, but just be one or the other. And that doesn't really, the opening of football season this week, those are the only two thoughts I have had. I've had no other thoughts than, it'd be nice if the Pats lost for a change. It'd be nice if the Rams won.

1:10:16 Caller Well, sorry.

1:10:17 Adam There you go. And that's why I don't gamble. Go ahead, David.

1:10:22 Caller Yeah, I have a three-year-old little girl, and me and her mother split up when she was about a year and a half, 16 months or so. I searched for them for about a year. She kind of hid from me. I finally found her, and I threw a private detective, and I've got a case open for custody battle on her. I found, go ahead.

1:10:46 Drew Wow, just awful.

1:10:46 Adam Yeah, keep going.

1:10:48 Caller Well, I found that she's been being abused. The GAL that's involved in the case has given me temporary custody for her. It's a GAL?

1:10:58 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some arbitrator or something?

1:11:01 Caller Well, the mom's been doing it. For instance, whenever I started getting my custody, such as my every other weekend with her, I got her one time with the whole right side of her face was bruised. And she was almost three. She wasn't quite three yet. There's been several other instances. You probably don't have time for them.

1:11:20 Drew What's the question for us? I got the picture.

1:11:22 Caller What can I look for? What is going to happen with her? What can I do to help her through this? Because I hear you guys talk about, you know, messed up children and what their parents did to them. What can I do to help her?

1:11:32 Adam Upon occasion. Was your, was your wife physically abused?

1:11:39 Drew Sure.

1:11:40 Caller Yes, she was.

1:11:40 Drew Of course.

1:11:41 Adam Yeah. I mean, I'm assuming she was.

1:11:43 Drew Circle of life.

1:11:44 Adam Yeah.

1:11:44 Drew You can't stop that.

1:11:45 Adam Well, here's the thing. Obviously, there are going to be repercussions. I mean, emotionally, for the kid, the good news is, is you got to her early enough.

1:11:55 Drew Right. And you want to create some stability. And you're going to have to create tremendous structure around your wife. I don't know that I would pull the child away from mom because that child, that's her mom. That's, you know, even though the mom was being abusive, those child children want to be with their mom. The problem is containing the mom, getting the mom treated, supervising the mom, and not letting her abusiveness be acted out any further. And I think threatening her with legal action, keeping it very super, the visit supervised, whatever needs to be done, do it.

1:12:22 Adam Yeah.

1:12:22 Drew And keep it stable.

1:12:23 Adam Here's the thing I realized too. When you hire a private detective, it means things are going very well in your life or things are going horribly in your life. I mean, you're either a super rich person who's investigating some other company that you're thinking about buying out or something, or it's just some kind of white trash thing where you think the old lady's banging the supervisor from work. You know what I mean?

1:12:50 Drew Yes.

1:12:51 Adam You really run the gamut in the private detective thing.

1:12:54 Drew Yes.

1:12:54 Adam You know what else it's like? It's like outdoor shower.

1:12:57 Drew Yes.

1:12:58 Adam If you have an outdoor shower, you're either filthy rich or dirt poor.

1:13:01 Drew Yes.

1:13:03 Adam Would you take that? Like if I said to you, Drew, you can change lives with a person who has an outdoor shower. You'd be like, on one hand, you're picturing sprawling villa with an outdoor shower. On the other hand, it's just a hose hanging off a roof.

1:13:16 Drew It's just a hose.

1:13:17 Caller A hose bib.

1:13:19 Drew It's awesome. I think worldwide the hose bib is probably much more common.

1:13:22 Adam So you wouldn't go outdoor shower.

1:13:23 Drew Just statistically, I'd stay away from the outdoor shower. That's why I don't gamble, as you said earlier.

1:13:27 Caller All right.

1:13:31 Drew The very rich and the very poor have a lot in common, just in many, many ways.

1:13:34 Adam Well, here's the thing about super rich and super poor. Outdoor showers, they both have an outdoor shower. They both have upholstered furniture outside of their home. Super poor has got that sofa on the porch.

1:13:47 Drew Absolutely.

1:13:47 Adam And super rich have this, you know, lovely, you know, the chaise lounges with all the pillows and all that kind of stuff.

1:13:52 Drew They share the mental illness. They share the kid problems.

1:13:55 Adam Yeah.

1:13:55 Drew They share the drugs and alcohol.

1:13:56 Adam Yeah.

1:13:57 Drew Interesting.

1:13:57 Adam Yeah. You know, the other thing that's ironic about the very rich and the very poor, they both own multiple automobiles. Now, middle class families have one or two cars.

1:14:09 Drew Yeah.

1:14:10 Adam Super poor people have nine cars.

1:14:11 Drew Right.

1:14:11 Adam They're all up on blocks and they're rusting out, but they have nine, they're on the front lawn, but they have nine cars.

1:14:16 Drew Yeah.

1:14:17 Caller It's true.

1:14:18 Adam I don't know why only rich people and then dirt poor people have multiple cars. Everyone else just has one or two cars.

1:14:26 Drew Well, you're going down that path. Why don't you examine that a little bit?

1:14:29 Adam I'm working the rich route though, baby. Yeah. Literally.

1:14:33 Drew Millionaire.

1:14:34 Adam Literally. We'll take a quick break. Be right back after this.

1:14:38 Drew Hello.

1:14:39 Caller This is your radio.

1:14:41 Caller Love Line will be right back.

1:15:05 Drew It's Loveline, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. And to reiterate, all callers will get on the air tonight. We're over 18. We'll receive two tickets to see Cry Wolf. You lie, you die. Cry Wolf in theaters everywhere this Friday. Also, those of you that win.

1:15:20 Caller You bang us, you raid us.

1:15:22 Drew All those of you that win will get qualified to win a trip to see Block Party, who made the soundtrack for this film. And anywhere in Europe you want to see them, you'll be flown out there to see them. It says, I don't know how many tickets you get. I didn't say. Winners will be announced next Sunday for the European trip. And it's a movie about people, some students that create a online cyber murderer who comes to life. Sort of Weird Science meets Nightmare on Elm Street.

1:15:48 Adam During the bathroom break, Drew and I were trying to figure out other similarities, other things that super rich and super poor shared. And before we left, we were talking that super rich people have multiple cars. And super poor people have multiple cars. So they're rusted out and they're up on blocks. Middle class people have one car, maybe two cars. And outdoor showers was one of them. Upholstered furniture that is outdoors. One is an old sofa that's on the porch. And there's just very expensive pool side patio furniture and all that. We're trying to think of other similarities between super rich and super poor. And here's just a few we came up with. One is the namesake. There's a lot of thirst in the seconds and thirst in the thirds. Super dirt poor people name their kids after the dad. And so do super rich people. Middle class, not so much.

1:16:43 Drew Leave it to Jesterl Jr. Ethanol, Ethanol, Estradil, the third.

1:16:49 Adam They both burn a fair amount of wood.

1:16:52 Drew Yes.

1:16:52 Adam Now the super poor do it to heat, you know, whatever little trashy trailer and cook they're in. But super rich have a lot of fires and stuff in their big, big manners. Again, middle class don't have that many fires and fireplaces. They have heaters. That's right. Both men tend to f around on their wives. They call it a mistress, and they just call the whore.

1:17:15 Drew The lower class.

1:17:16 Adam The lower class just calls a hooker, slut, whore, whatever. Rich guys call it a mistress. But either way, super rich guys and super poor guys are more likely to step out on the old lady than the middle class. Also, interesting one that Drew brought up was alternative to medicines or alternative medicines. Now, super poor guys, they boil some root and they drink that. Grandmama says it's a cure for what? Ails. And then the rich guys just get the animas.

1:17:46 Drew Well, they have crazy practitioners and stuff.

1:17:49 Adam Yeah, they get their chakras aligned and stuff like that.

1:17:51 Drew And in this part of the country, the very poor has the curanderos.

1:17:55 Adam Well, what is that?

1:17:56 Drew They do the cupping and all that crazy stuff.

1:17:57 Adam Oh, the cupping, yeah. And the rich have the homeopathic and that sort of nonsense.

1:18:02 Drew By the cupping thing, we treat severe burns. Nothing creates a burn.

1:18:08 Adam The cupping thing? I mean, where they do the heat, they remove the oxygen from a cup and they put it on your back and it makes a suction. It creates a vacuum.

1:18:20 Drew It creates a blister, which is a burn, a second degree burn.

1:18:23 Adam Well, you know what it does.

1:18:24 Drew Oh my God, it's the toxins coming out of the body. Are you kidding? If you looked at that stuff, did a molecular analysis on that, it's a pus.

1:18:32 Caller Yeah, true.

1:18:33 Drew Come on.

1:18:34 Adam Here's the deal. Here's the deal, buddy.

1:18:35 Drew I'm the man.

1:18:36 Adam Here's the deal. Yeah, you're the man. You know what? Because you're a white guy and you have an education. So you don't know what you're talking about. Here's the deal. Your body is filled with toxins. Do you understand? We live in a toxic environment.

1:18:49 Drew I love the toxin term comes into everything and it means nothing.

1:18:53 Adam But Drew.

1:18:53 Drew It has zero meaning.

1:18:54 Adam It's zero meaning to you. But tell that to me tomorrow morning when the alarm goes off at 8 15. And I don't feel like getting out of bed. You know why?

1:19:04 Drew Toxins.

1:19:05 Adam Toxins. Here's the thing. We live in a toxic environment.

1:19:10 Caller You understand?

1:19:11 Adam And those toxins, they build up in your body. You ever feel tired in the morning?

1:19:16 Yeah.

1:19:17 Adam You ever feel like you want to take a nap?

1:19:19 Yes.

1:19:19 Adam Some days, you just feel a little irritable, maybe not yourself.

1:19:23 Drew Yes.

1:19:24 Adam Toxins.

1:19:24 Drew Oh, my God.

1:19:25 They're built up.

1:19:26 Drew I've got to get these out of my system.

1:19:26 Adam We live in a toxic environment. And the way God created your body is it only retains toxins, evidently, because everything else goes right through it. So if you ate an ego, all the nutrients of the ego would pass right through. The toxins remain.

1:19:42 Drew Remain.

1:19:42 Adam Interesting. The toxins. Your body stores toxins. Now, you walk around, well, eventually, you get filled with toxins. You can barely move.

1:19:48 Drew You know what I love is I'll take these people...

1:19:50 Adam That's why you need the animal. That's why I got to put a hose up your ass...

1:19:52 Drew .links and stories about the toxin. I go, well, what is a toxin? It's just, what is it? Well, it's these bad things everywhere. Give me the name of one chemical or the structure or exactly how it works biologically, biochemically, physically. Well, I'm not a doctor. What do you expect? All right, listen. All right, come on.

1:20:06 Adam I can, I know I'm filled with toxins and, you know, I'm allergic to peanuts. And also, also, you know, these these in indoor environmental, I was environmental allergies too. So this carpet makes me tired mold mold. Yeah. Mold. Let me ask you a quiz. Mold, 18 months old or 18 billion years old?

1:20:30 Drew 18 billion.

1:20:31 Adam OK. But we only noticed it 18 months ago.

1:20:33 Drew Yeah.

1:20:34 Adam OK. Are molds probably the first form of life on the planet?

1:20:38 Caller Really?

1:20:39 Adam There's nothing that people haven't been living with mold longer than. Yeah. OK. Are you ready to rock? Oh, one other thing. Rich versus super, super poor. They both tend to eat stuff that they may have shot or killed.

1:20:54 Drew Right.

1:20:55 Adam Because super rich guys go out pheasant hunting.

1:20:57 Drew And eat it.

1:20:58 Adam And they eat that. And then super poor guys just either road kill or they get shotgun shoot a turkey or something like that.

1:21:03 Drew It doesn't have to be land animals. Think about it.

1:21:05 Adam A lot of fishing with poor people. Yeah.

1:21:07 Drew And rich people.

1:21:08 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. Middle class. Don't eat so much stuff they shoot. Alright. You ready to rock?

1:21:13 Drew Let's go.

1:21:13 Adam Let's talk to John.

1:21:16 Caller What up?

1:21:17 Adam 25.

1:21:18 Caller That's right.

1:21:19 Adam What's up?

1:21:21 Caller I just have this problem when I'm with girls that I get extremely jealous when it comes to them going out without me, obviously.

1:21:32 Drew You mean when you have a girlfriend or somebody might be dating?

1:21:36 Caller Girlfriend.

1:21:37 Drew Definitely girlfriend. This current girlfriend or every girlfriend you've ever had?

1:21:41 Caller Well, I've had two girlfriends within the past since college, which was four years ago, so two girlfriends in the past four years. One of them actually just ended recently. And the reason was was because I got extremely jealous that she went out one night.

1:21:57 Drew Alright. Now John, at 17, this would be normal. You know, 17-year-old guys are beaked up on testosterone. They don't have a sense of themselves yet. They feel threatened by every other guy. They're not used to being in relationships. But you get over that by, certainly, I'd say by 25.

1:22:12 Adam Right.

1:22:13 Drew Wouldn't you say, Adam?

1:22:14 Adam At 25, no.

1:22:16 Drew You should be pretty much over that by 25.

1:22:17 Adam Well, you still have some testosterone going through your veins. You still got something going through your veins, but you should be more reasonable about these sorts of things.

1:22:26 Drew Right. Now you may, now maybe you're with somebody who has proven herself to be untrustworthy and that's a mess.

1:22:32 Caller The thing was, I had my very first girlfriend in high school. The way it ended was basically she one day called me and said, you know what? I don't love you anymore. And I don't know what I'm...

1:22:44 Drew Guess what? That's what happens to every high school relationship. Somebody calls somebody and goes, I've got to stop this.

1:22:49 Adam That's what happened. One day, one day, it was actually two days from my 17th birthday.

1:22:55 Drew Your left hand called in?

1:22:56 Adam It called me in to the bathroom.

1:22:57 Drew Oh, really? They both called you in, both your left and your right hand?

1:23:01 Adam Well, no, not just my left hand.

1:23:03 Drew Oh, that's the one you were with at the time.

1:23:05 Adam That's the one I was with. Yeah, the right hand, or as I call it, the magazine hand, did not... was not there for that. I had to break the news to him. Of course, that was difficult.

1:23:16 Drew Well, of course.

1:23:17 Adam And what do I need a magazine for if the left hand is gone?

1:23:20 Drew He's going to feel inadequate now.

1:23:21 Adam Yeah, I understand. If I don't have a car, what do I need a pit crew for?

1:23:24 Drew Of course, I'm just saying.

1:23:25 Adam Yeah. Yeah. So my left hand called me into the bathroom. That's where we used to meet.

1:23:33 Drew You and your left hand?

1:23:33 Adam That was our place. Wow.

1:23:35 Drew Very romantic. Very. One particular bathroom or any bathroom?

1:23:39 Adam My dad's house.

1:23:40 Drew Oh, just that one bathroom?

1:23:41 Adam Well, we only had the one bathroom.

1:23:42 Drew Didn't you ever get together in a car like an average teenager?

1:23:45 Adam Well, you know, we were... we had a luck. When you're young and you're frisky and, you know, youth is on your side, sometimes we would get together...

1:23:53 Drew In the car?

1:23:54 Adam Well, it happened. That's disgusting. It's happened. I think everyone's done it. We were in the Mile High Club. We got together a few different places. But, you know, I got to give it to my left hand for not just phoning it in. It would have been very easy for the left hand just to dial the phone and call me and say it was over.

1:24:11 Drew It's a little bit unthoughtful or sort of uncaring to bring you into your place, your environment where you consummated your relationship.

1:24:17 Adam Well, that's where we met. That's where we shared a lot of wonderful times together. Memories. Yeah. And, you know, I knew...

1:24:30 Drew Oh my God, I'm just thinking how bizarre it is. You just renovated, you just drilled out that bathroom.

1:24:34 Adam I knew, I know.

1:24:36 Drew Oh my God, I hope you had some sort of ceremony.

1:24:38 Adam I came into the bathroom and my left hand was like, look, we need to talk. And I was like, sure, but, you know, we're done beating off and no, that's what we need to talk about. And he'd been another penis. And, you know, the penis had things that I didn't have, could show the hand of world and a lifestyle that I couldn't show. The left hand and she took off with him.

1:25:09 Drew How long ago was that?

1:25:10 Adam That's, let's see, it's over 20 years now.

1:25:14 Drew Can I have the right hand's number? Well, the right, the left hand, I mean, a bigger part.

1:25:18 Adam The left hand, did I say right hand? I mean, right hand's here. Left hand, I've never spoke to again. I don't know what happened. Last I heard there was a divorce. There was some abuse. I had actually gotten a law degree, but then never practiced. And, uh, we were remarried and living in Oregon. Oh. Yeah. Then what are you going to do? I don't know. Maybe I'll see her at the reunion. No, no, just him. Judging by the knuckles would be a dude.

1:25:54 Drew I was going to say, I've been quite a woman with the hair and the knuckles that way.

1:25:57 Adam Yeah. John?

1:25:59 Drew Yeah.

1:26:00 Adam So you see, we've all gone through our breakups.

1:26:02 Drew Yeah, the question is why can't you get over it?

1:26:05 Caller Well, that's what I'm trying to figure out.

1:26:07 Drew Well, it's not about that breakup.

1:26:10 Caller Could it be about possibly a parent leaving?

1:26:14 Adam Yeah, that's good.

1:26:16 Caller Well, here's the thing. My dad left to go to work for a year and a half in another state. He just couldn't find work here.

1:26:25 Drew Yeah.

1:26:25 Caller So for a year and a half, this was when I was about 14, 15 years old. For a year and a half, I had to deal with seeing him maybe once every month.

1:26:33 Drew That must have been tough, but that doesn't quite do it.

1:26:35 Adam Look, there's certain guys out there that are just weird and they're just jealous, and there's certain guys that aren't.

1:26:40 Drew But most guys that are weird and jealous like that are sort of the narcissistic sociopath type.

1:26:44 Adam Yeah.

1:26:45 Drew They're controlling, angry. They tend to be the violent guys too, wouldn't you say?

1:26:48 Adam That's how my hand was, yeah.

1:26:49 Drew I'm just saying.

1:26:50 Adam Yeah.

1:26:50 Drew This is not John.

1:26:51 Adam Not really.

1:26:52 Drew John's more the injured, wounded, insecure, empty, you know, the guy can feel good about himself, doesn't feel worth the relationship, he's convinced that she'll take off.

1:26:58 Adam Well, let me give John a little... John, here's the deal, buddy. You need to focus on your life. You've graduated from college, get your career on track, get your life on track. Make John as attractive a package you can possibly be. Stop worrying about controlling other people. Make yourself such a bright light that every moth is attracted to it, and then you won't have to worry about this. That's what your focus needs to be.

1:27:24 Drew And here's what he heard.

1:27:25 Caller Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.

1:27:28 Adam Yeah.

1:27:29 Drew I'm just saying.

1:27:29 Adam I know.

1:27:30 Drew This can be hard for him.

1:27:31 Adam We'll take a break. We'll be back.

1:27:33 Caller Hello, this is your radio.

1:28:01 Adam Yeah, buddy, it's Loveline, the man that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1-R.

1:28:08 Caller Yeah, woo!

1:28:10 Caller Yeah, rock out!

1:28:12 Caller Get it on!

1:28:18 Caller Yeah, through a hard edge, baby. Say, there's one place to go for your love, Vice. Name of that show is Loveline, because I'll tell you what, we're straight shooters over here. And I don't care if it's business of you people or Lord knows I have, but I'll tell you, man, I shoot fast, and I shoot from the hip, fast and loose. That's the way I play it. And look, if you want to come somewhere, just get yourself a whole pack of lies and have something to make you feel good about yourself. You come to the wrong place, I'll tell you what. Oh, wow.

1:28:48 Drew Lightning.

1:28:51 Adam I like when shows do that. I like when the guy, I like this blowhard. Hey, man, I could tell you everything was perfect. I could tell you that this didn't mean anything. I could tell you, but that's not the way I were. I'm a straight shooter if you can't handle. Whenever anyone announces that they're one of these people, the people, here's what, like when people.

1:29:12 Drew You say it, I'll interpret it.

1:29:14 Adam Yeah, no. I'm a kind of guy who look in the eye and just tell you what I feel. A lot of people can't handle it because I speak the truth.

1:29:25 Drew I'm an asshole.

1:29:26 Adam And I'm a kind of guy who will tell you what I'm thinking. I won't hide my feelings from you.

1:29:34 Drew I'm a narcissistic a-hole.

1:29:36 Adam I will, and a lot of people don't like it because I don't feel like they can handle it.

1:29:41 Drew I'm an angry, rageful, aggressive, narcissistic a-hole.

1:29:43 Adam But I'll tell you the truth. I'm a straight shooter. I'll just look in the eye and I'll tell you what's going on. Sometimes, hey, I've lost a few friends because of my honesty.

1:29:55 Drew Because of my a-holishness.

1:29:56 Caller Yeah, right. Yeah, that's all I hear is a-hole, a-hole, a-hole, a-hole, a-hole.

1:30:02 Adam And they always go like, some people can't handle it.

1:30:05 Caller Some people or everyone.

1:30:10 Adam Yeah, I love when people take a horrible attribute or characteristic and turn it into a conveniently positive, you know, hey, I'm a straight shooter, man. Oh, you're honest. Oh, that's awesome. Oh, oh, oh, so let me get this straight. You're a very honest person and other people are so weak and insecure they can't handle that so they turn on you.

1:30:33 Caller No, you're a colossal a-hole. You should shut the F up.

1:30:38 Adam Hey, man, I just, you know, I'm straightforward. No, a lot of people can't handle it.

1:30:42 Drew Strangely, you hear that kind of thing from women more than men.

1:30:44 Adam Yeah.

1:30:44 Drew You notice that?

1:30:45 Adam Yeah.

1:30:46 Drew Because men, when they, when enough guys, when men pull that crap, they go, hey, shh.

1:30:49 Adam They get the crap beat out of them and everyone yells at them. Yeah. Yeah.

1:30:52 Drew Callie, Kaylee?

1:30:53 Adam Yeah. Heavy set gals from the hood. That's their mantra.

1:30:57 Drew Callie?

1:30:58 Adam I tell them how I see it. People can't handle it.

1:31:00 Drew What's going on there? She's 20.

1:31:02 And I'm calling because I've just had a baby four months ago, had catheter, epidural, all that good stuff. And now I have a urinary tract infection. And it's not going away with all the medicines I've taken. I've been to doctor after doctor and it's just not going away.

1:31:18 Drew What's the bacteria that's remaining?

1:31:21 I'm not sure. They haven't really told me.

1:31:24 Drew Maybe there isn't a bacteria. Maybe you're just having urinary frequency from some other cause. Maybe it's not a urinary tract infection. Maybe it's just symptoms as though you had one. There's a ton of reasons for that. I'm sure they haven't advised you.

1:31:42 They should do culture tests and stuff, but the nurse spilled my pee.

1:31:46 Drew All right. Well, you need a culture. You probably don't have a urine infection. You probably have some sort of mechanical problem or muscular sensitivity, like a spastic bladder. They need to do a cystoscopy on you and these sorts of things. There are medications that can help with this. It's not an uncommon thing after what you've been through.

1:32:03 Adam Matthew.

1:32:04 Caller Hey, what's going on?

1:32:05 Adam 23.

1:32:06 Caller Yes.

1:32:07 Adam Your hands can't stop shaking. Your hands can't stop shaking.

1:32:11 Caller Yeah, they can't stop shaking.

1:32:13 Caller I don't know what it is.

1:32:14 Drew Both hands?

1:32:15 Caller Yes.

1:32:16 Drew Do you do drugs?

1:32:17 Caller I used to.

1:32:18 Caller I've been clean for 18 months today.

1:32:19 Drew What was your drug of choice?

1:32:20 Caller Everything.

1:32:22 Drew Well, tremors are very common after you've done drugs. Very common.

1:32:26 Caller This was years before I ever done drugs.

1:32:29 Drew Oh, you had it before? Well, and there are genetic causes for this and familial tremors and things. What's the name they've been giving this one?

1:32:38 Caller They haven't. I've had three doctors and they don't know what it is.

1:32:42 Drew Well, no. I'm sure they gave it some sort of name. This is probably a...

1:32:47 Caller No, nothing like that.

1:32:48 Drew Well, then it's probably a familial tremor.

1:32:51 Adam I mean, that's what your family...

1:32:52 Drew What?

1:32:53 Caller A familiar tremor.

1:32:54 Drew Tremor, yes.

1:32:55 Adam Familiar.

1:32:55 Drew That's what you inherited.

1:32:56 Adam Yeah, family does it.

1:32:57 Caller Oh, okay.

1:32:59 Drew I'm sure, by the way, I guarantee you each of those doctors had a provisional diagnosis for that tremor.

1:33:04 Adam Well, they'll give something a title.

1:33:06 Drew They will say, it's probably fill in the blank. Here are the possibilities. That's the way you're trained to think as a doctor. So, there's no way you just go, oh, I have no idea. If you have no idea, then it's a more serious issue.

1:33:17 Adam There's probably a guy out there named Phil in the blank. You know what I mean?

1:33:22 Drew Let's find him.

1:33:23 Adam Yeah, well, what's his name? Well, his name is Phil up in the blank. Maybe he's a French guy or something like that.

1:33:30 Drew In the blank.

1:33:32 Adam Yeah, we call him Phil in the blank. Yeah, we're going to meet him and Dick Nibbler for lunch. All right, let's take a break. We'll be back after this.

1:33:44 Caller All right, guys, here's the deal.

1:33:46 Drew You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

1:33:49 Adam One call is all you need to make.

1:33:51 Drew Call the Dateline, 877-889-DATE.

1:33:54 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:33:59 Caller Loveline will be right back.

1:34:12 Adam Hey, everybody. Well, that's the Loveline. We're gonna take a 22-hour break, but we'll be back tomorrow night. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:34:25 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:34:29 Adam The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station.

1:34:37 Caller The producer for Loveline is Aningold.

1:34:39 Adam Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, September 11, 2005