Episode 1000728771163

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

1:01 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Sexually-oriented content.

1:07 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:08 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline.

1:17 Voiceover With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:20 Voiceover Yeah, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. He's already punched a mic.

1:32 Drew He didn't hear that.

1:34 Voiceover 26 seconds into the show. Tonight, our favorite guest and my main man, David Alan Grier.

1:41 Drew Jack.

1:41 David Alan Grier Shut up! What's up, man? I'm just surprised you're here because I know I'm hosting the show with Dr. Drew. I know you're probably going to say, hey, get over to your thing. Yeah, go to Letterman. Letterman. And I just thanks for the support. You know, I love you. Hey, man, we got to talk about my new chainsaw. I got a chainsaw today.

1:58 Did you?

1:58 David Alan Grier Oh, my God.

2:00 Adam You've got a chainsaw? Gas powered or electric?

2:02 Well, I started with the electric.

2:03 Adam Yeah, that's nothing.

2:04 David Alan Grier That's gay.

2:04 Adam You know what I mean?

2:05 David Alan Grier That's like a motorcycle with a.

2:07 Drew You had a hillside to clear out?

2:08 I didn't have anything, but I.

2:10 David Alan Grier Oh, boy, I know all about the kickback.

2:13 You don't want to put the tip and engage it with the wood, Adam. Why? Kick it out.

2:17 Adam Yeah, they got to get the chain break on it.

2:20 David Alan Grier Oh, yeah. I got the chain break. I cut down more trees. I'm talking about old growth forest. It was beautiful.

2:26 Not since Mr. My dogs are right there.

2:33 Adam Not since Mr. T is a black man cut down so many trees.

2:36 Yeah, but he didn't use like a turn dagg up there.

2:39 David Alan Grier And I know you're not supposed to eat on the air, which is very unprofessional.

2:42 Adam No, but Drew does it every night.

2:44 Drew Did you hear that, Michelle? Michelle? Did you hear Anderson?

2:47 Adam Wednesday, he did that.

2:49 David Alan Grier Well, I got your Cheetos Crunchies and Ms. Vickie's jalapeños.

2:54 Drew In a squirt.

2:55 I tell you that right there, boy.

2:56 David Alan Grier There's going to be some clouds of funky, funky town. Yeah.

3:00 Adam What kind of chainsaw did you get?

3:02 I got your Sears and Roebuck.

3:05 David Alan Grier Sears and Roebuck 16-inch. I looked at several.

3:10 Drew 16 inches.

3:11 Adam You didn't want to step up to the Husqvarna?

3:13 David Alan Grier No, because this one's kind of heavy. I mean, a lot of the pruning I'm doing is like, you got to hold it up there and you really don't want that. Oh, Jesus.

3:21 Adam Yeah.

3:21 David Alan Grier You only get one. You only get one.

3:22 Adam Well, I think the chainsaws freaked people out because the only time most of us have actually seen it in action is in the hands of mental patients that are chasing hot chicks.

3:32 David Alan Grier Or very desperate Hispanic workers who are like a guy. Here's what happened. I had my trees trimmed last year and one of the guys left the That's a gay term, by the way.

3:42 Adam He didn't do anything to his house.

3:44 Drew Nothing to do with the plants.

3:45 Adam Between a dirty sandcastle and a reach around.

3:47 David Alan Grier Adam knows me well. I was in New Orleans about two years ago, got my trees trimmed.

3:55 So you're in the mic or turn him up, please?

3:56 Adam You had he seems pretty hot to me.

3:58 David Alan Grier What? I'm into the mic, man. You know, you know what you guys need to get into? Some new equipment, OK?

4:03 Drew Come on. Speaking of new equipment, did you take an hour to drive in here tonight?

4:07 Adam Oh.

4:08 Drew What was that?

4:09 Adam Oh.

4:10 Drew I just saw the coroner drive up.

4:12 Adam Let me tell you, the freeway was completely closed. And the signs that are supposed to alert you to what's going on, blacker than David Alan Grier.

4:21 Hey, watch out.

4:22 Drew When that freeway was closed down.

4:24 David Alan Grier So, so poor, so black.

4:26 Adam Oh.

4:26 David Alan Grier The people of New Orleans.

4:28 Adam Oh, Dave, Dave, please, please empathize with us on this topic.

4:34 David Alan Grier What?

4:34 Adam Last night, when we were driving home from this godforsaken studio, the freeway was closed down. We passed a bunch of those signs.

4:42 David Alan Grier What freeway?

4:43 Drew The 110.

4:43 Adam The 110 was closed down. Tonight, the entire 110 ghetto. We pass under those signs that they now just use for the Amber Alerts, but they won't tell us what the F is going on.

4:55 Drew There was fatality on the freeway, it seemed like.

4:57 Adam Two miles ahead of us.

4:58 Drew What was that?

5:00 Adam I pray a thousand people died.

5:01 David Alan Grier You know what I think it was? I think it was a caller.

5:04 Drew Did you get?

5:05 Adam Want to take some calls?

5:05 Drew Let's take some calls. Because I got to the accident. Save some babies.

5:08 Adam I got off the freeway.

5:09 Drew I got to the accident.

5:10 Adam I cut through downtown.

5:10 Drew The corner was there. A car was just sitting there.

5:12 David Alan Grier Really? What do you think happened?

5:14 Drew Looks like the window is broke.

5:16 Adam Maybe someone killed themselves.

5:18 David Alan Grier Dr. Drew, if you were going to kill yourself, how would you do it?

5:22 Adam He's got a whole rig.

5:23 Drew He can do it.

5:25 David Alan Grier You got that death machine?

5:26 Adam Painless. Here's the thing about if you're going to kill yourself. I'm not going to tell you what to do with your life, but I am going to tell you what to do with my life after you end your life. Please don't jump off any off ramps. Don't blow yourself up in the fast lane.

5:39 Caller I love you only. Boosh! Oh, Jesus!

5:41 Adam Don't do that crap that makes me have to get out of my car and stand around and watch the meat wagon pull up and everything. Just discreetly go into your garage and run the garden hose into your car and let the wife and kids find you in a couple of days.

5:55 David Alan Grier What about taking some beans and putting a plastic bag over your head? You know, some barbiturates or something.

6:00 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, that's good.

6:02 Adam That's good.

6:03 David Alan Grier How about choking on your own belches?

6:05 Adam I'll tell you the problem with that. You could just wake up a vegetable, you know what I mean? And that's what you don't want to be.

6:11 Drew And that's people be fighting over where the poop peed you and that, sure. Has that happened?

6:14 David Alan Grier Has that ever happened?

6:15 Adam Oh, all the time.

6:16 David Alan Grier From pills?

6:17 Drew Well, whatever. Fail, fail, suicide attempts.

6:20 David Alan Grier You wake up with a hangover.

6:22 Drew It's basically what what's her name was.

6:23 Adam Here's what's her name.

6:24 Drew The one of.

6:26 David Alan Grier Shavo?

6:26 Drew Some eating disorder.

6:27 Adam Shavo's the guy from System of a Down. Shavo is the one with the Down syndrome.

6:31 David Alan Grier But she was still conscious, though, really. Oh, yeah. Well, that quarter of that true, less acorn size brain.

6:37 Adam I'm going to I'm going to need you to make me a promise. And I think that's going to want to get in on this one.

6:43 David Alan Grier Come on.

6:43 Adam If you go, we ever try to kill ourselves and it's unsuccessful and then we're just hooked up to some life support. I need you to stay in here as you pull a little million dollar baby action on our ass. You know what I mean? I'm serious, Drew. If I'm just sitting there clinging to life and the pumps going and everything, you come in, I'm a doctor. Let me visit him and it'll seem suspicious that you're visiting me at 4 a.m. But you just say you got some official business and next you know it's just a flat line.

7:10 David Alan Grier Don't get all Clint Eastwood on me.

7:12 Adam Nurses running, you quietly walking out, putting the syringe back in your pocket. You know what I mean?

7:18 Drew Yeah, I got some idea. I got some plans.

7:19 Adam All right. And then what we'll do is if the man comes after you, we'll just roll this tape back.

7:24 Drew Why don't we? It's a good idea. And why don't we just skip all that?

7:28 David Alan Grier Just tonight we can take some calls.

7:29 Drew No, we can set some up for him tonight.

7:31 David Alan Grier All right. There's a kid who tried to shoot, blow his head off with a shotgun and he survived.

7:36 Adam Yeah, that's my point. That's where Drew comes in.

7:38 David Alan Grier Yeah, he can't get chicks or anything.

7:39 Adam Guys, he's whizzing out of his ear for the next 65 years.

7:44 Drew All right, let's take some calls.

7:46 Adam Let's save some babies.

7:47 Drew I was so happy tonight. It's fall. I can feel the fall. My kids are in school.

7:50 Adam Football season tomorrow.

7:51 Drew Football season starting up. Come on.

7:53 David Alan Grier What about that tennis? Who won the who won the match? Agassi, Blake.

7:58 Adam What's going on? Everyone's watching tennis at my office. And I try to figure out what's going on with tennis. Who's into tennis all of a sudden?

8:05 David Alan Grier Andrew, Agassi, Andre. I said, Andrew, Andre, Agassi is 35.

8:10 Drew You've seen an old guy come back. It's fun. Yeah.

8:12 David Alan Grier Also, Blake, this kid, Blake had like was paralyzed, you know, and his face was all paralyzed. He was all jacked up. He started as, uh-oh.

8:22 Adam What's the matter?

8:23 David Alan Grier Did Agassi win?

8:24 Adam Oh, look, let's go forward, please.

8:27 Drew We'll have to play. I don't care. I don't care. What's the deal?

8:31 Adam What's going on?

8:37 David Alan Grier I was watching those chicks, man, that noise, man, not that Russian player.

8:40 Adam She was like, Ah! Yeah, they made the grunt sound about four times, and Dave made the... Time to watch. Time to watch some bananas.

8:58 Caller They're like, that is a wonderful forehand. That's a two-hander for me. Kalishnikov is right at the net, and boy, her panties are in a knot right now.

9:08 Adam And these players are getting hot and young.

9:10 Caller They are. Boy, oh boy.

9:12 Adam They're like 6'3, and they're 13 years old.

9:14 Caller Is that her dad in the stands or her husband?

9:16 Adam Back to you, Dick.

9:18 Caller Back to you.

9:20 Caller Good match. Yeah.

9:21 David Alan Grier Good match.

9:22 Adam And let me tell you, the only thing that rivals the tennis outfit on a chick is the riding outfit. Both smoking hot. No, Drew, the high boots, the tight pants, the white blouse.

9:34 David Alan Grier Little fetish here, little fetish going on. What's wrong with the little fetish going on?

9:38 Drew It fits with the boob thing. Actually, the leather fetish.

9:42 Adam None of those riding chicks have big cans, by the way.

9:44 Drew Hold that hole. Hold on.

9:45 Adam How does this turn into leather fetish?

9:47 Drew It's called a phallic female.

9:49 Caller How does this turn into a leather fetish?

9:51 David Alan Grier My friend, pony flesh, right?

9:53 Caller The chicks with the high boots.

9:55 Adam You see the Ralph Lauren Polo chick, and she's wearing those beige, tight cropped pants, and she's got the high boots, and she has the white blouse and the ponytail looking so fresh, so feminine.

10:06 Drew I hear you, but there's a lot of guys going, what are you talking about?

10:08 Adam No, there's not a lot of guys doing that.

10:11 Caller Not me.

10:12 Adam What are you talking about, Drew?

10:13 Caller It's fabulous.

10:14 Adam A lot of guys don't like that look?

10:17 David Alan Grier Andrea, you have one leg, you're in trouble.

10:20 Adam What's going on? Drew, are you high?

10:23 Tina, from Tacoma.

10:25 Caller What do you mean?

10:26 David Alan Grier Your teeth fell out while making out with your dad. Go ahead.

10:29 Caller Who could not like that look?

10:31 Let's ask some colors.

10:32 Adam I'm not talking about a writing crop, slapping it on your head and a leather boostie. I'm talking about a white blouse and those beige tight writing pants.

10:43 David Alan Grier And what about the pants?

10:43 You're just saying nothing.

10:45 David Alan Grier Well, hold on. What about the pants? Do they follow the form of the body?

10:49 Adam They're tight. They tuck into the boot. It's a very streamlined. It's a classy look. It's a timeless, feminine look.

10:57 And you know what it says?

10:59 It says femininity and it says sexuality, OK?

11:04 Adam Because when she mounts that horse, David, and that horse is going up and down and up and down, and she's beating that horse with a riding crop. Well, that says it all, doesn't it?

11:28 David Alan Grier I'm sorry, did I fall asleep? Get that every night.

11:33 My growth is banging on my chest.

11:35 David Alan Grier Are you?

11:35 I thought you were dead.

11:37 Caller I thought you were dead.

11:38 You just stopped breathing.

11:40 Caller Oh, my God.

11:52 It's good to be home, guys.

11:54 Adam Great to have you back.

11:55 Samantha?

11:56 Drew 23.

11:57 Adam 23, what's up?

12:00 Okay, for the past like six months or so, it's like my sexual libido is like completely gone.

12:08 Drew Are you on the depot shot? No. Are you on any medication?

12:12 None.

12:13 Drew Nothing.

12:14 Adam Is it the relationship?

12:17 I don't think so, because like I want to, but like my body doesn't react to what my mind wants it to do.

12:24 Drew Are you depressed?

12:26 No.

12:28 Adam Are you married? Do you have a boyfriend?

12:30 Married.

12:30 Adam Married.

12:31 Drew Did you just have a baby recently?

12:33 No, I don't have any children.

12:37 Drew This is typically a medication thing. That would be number one, two, and three probabilities.

12:40 Adam But if you just hold still and let the guy hump you and maybe we bump start your vagina.

12:44 David Alan Grier Well, hold on. Have you ever done that? Have you just kind of said, look, I'm going to have sex with my husband. I'm not really into it. If you do that, are you able to achieve an orgasm?

12:55 David Alan Grier No.

12:56 Drew Do you have an orgasm normally?

12:58 Not normally, no.

12:59 Drew Are you able to have one at all?

13:02 I have. I've had one. Well, actually, it's twice.

13:07 Adam Through oral sex?

13:08 David Alan Grier Was somebody else in the room when this happened?

13:11 No. It actually was like it wasn't oral sex.

13:16 Drew No one else was in the room except you?

13:18 Caller Just us two.

13:19 Drew Just you two?

13:20 Adam You and your vibrator? All right, so hold on a second. Let's see if we can break this down. Two orgasms in her life, through intercourse?

13:29 David Alan Grier No, no, no, no.

13:30 Adam Not through oral sex?

13:33 David Alan Grier She wasn't clear. She said just us two, so I assume it was she and her husband? Yeah.

13:38 Adam Through oral sex or intercourse?

13:40 Caller Intercourse.

13:41 Adam Yeah, that's what I thought.

13:43 Did it take a while?

13:44 Adam She said it, it just didn't make sense.

13:45 Caller Yeah.

13:46 Drew No, it didn't take a while.

13:47 No, it didn't take a while, no.

13:49 Adam Well, only two orgasms in your life?

13:52 Yes.

13:53 Adam All right, because Dave had had three since he's been here.

13:56 Drew I have.

13:57 Adam And what did you do that was different or what did he do that was different those two times?

14:03 Drew Why didn't you try to recreate them?

14:05 I swear, I don't know.

14:07 Drew Why didn't you try to recreate that with him? Why did you try to do that again?

14:10 David Alan Grier Did he call you names and just slap you around or anything?

14:13 No, no.

14:14 Drew Did you ever have a period in your life where you were hypersexual? We had a lot of boyfriends?

14:19 No, no.

14:20 Caller Actually, I've only had like three, three boyfriends.

14:25 Drew I really myself would go get evaluated. Medically, yeah. This has a very medical sort of tone to it. You guys agree with me? I mean, it's really a shutdown.

14:35 Adam Yeah.

14:35 Drew When women shut down like that, it can be-

14:38 Adam Dr. Greer agrees.

14:39 Drew It can be things like ovarian cysts.

14:41 David Alan Grier Well, they're just being bitches when they do that.

14:42 Drew It can be other illnesses. It can be typically medication or birth control pills. I can't believe she's not on birth control pills.

14:49 David Alan Grier Can I ask you this, doctor? Do you think it could possibly be penis rejectivitis?

14:53 Drew No, no. That's rare, rare, rare.

14:56 David Alan Grier X-neon the intercorsialiae?

14:58 Adam Samantha?

15:00 Drew No birth control, huh?

15:01 I had the depo when I was 18, and I only had it once because I had that side effect.

15:07 Drew But how about now?

15:08 No, no.

15:09 Drew Nothing. Were you on birth control pills recently?

15:12 No, when I was 18 and that was it.

15:14 Drew That was it. Did you recover your libido, your sex drive after that period on the depo?

15:20 Yes.

15:20 Drew You did. There was an article.

15:22 Adam How's your boyfriend holding up or your husband?

15:26 I think it's messing with our relationship a little, I guess.

15:31 Adam Yeah. Let him have sex with you. Let me explain something. And Drew, please be honest here. I know Dave will back me up. We tell guys all the time, look, it may go against your grain, but go ahead and ask your wife how her day was, hold her hand, spend a little quiet time with her. I know your instinct is to go hang out, watch TV and get lost in your own world, but pay attention. Do the things that you don't really feel like doing. It's better for the relationship. Now we ask a woman to do this. Well, you're just submitting yourself to rape. But it's really the same thing.

16:02 David Alan Grier Adam, how was your day today before you got here?

16:04 Drew No, no, no. I got to finish the conversation.

16:05 Adam Give it a five.

16:06 Drew Drew, hold on, hold on. I agree with you. You do, you do. I just know how difficult that is for women. They just can't get their head in that space for some reason.

16:15 David Alan Grier Women can't get their head in what space?

16:16 Drew Yeah. Why don't you just a little crawl space between the ceiling and the...

16:19 David Alan Grier No, you tell these slashes, you tell these gashes to pipe down and pay attention to my sack, okay? I am sick of it.

16:28 Caller I am sick of the whining.

16:29 Drew I have something important to say, that there was an article published last week that suggested that after taking the birth control pill, women can have permanent sexual dysfunction. I've denied that on this show before, but there's some recent science that suggests that if you get sexual dysfunction on the pill, be careful, it can become a long-term issue.

16:47 Adam I'll tell you, it takes a big, big, boring man to admit when he's wrong. And that's your truth. All right.

16:53 Drew Big and boring.

16:54 Adam Big and boring. How about just the bump starting of the sex? How about this? Go see your doctor. I agree with Drew.

17:01 Drew Really get a careful medical evaluation.

17:03 Adam But, twice a week, have sex for the next four weeks and see if it doesn't get the juices flowing just a little bit.

17:10 David Alan Grier Why would she be angry?

17:12 Drew Because women, when they shut down, they really, the sex becomes like weird to them.

17:14 David Alan Grier What about, what's all this? Don't you do stuff for your wife that you don't really want to? Excuse me, Mr. Know-it-all.

17:19 I'm not disagreeing with you.

17:20 Drew I'm just telling you why.

17:20 I'm just your coutur-anatomy knower.

17:23 Drew Yeah, couturotomist.

17:24 Adam Now listen, forget about things with your wife. How about just the fact she's your wife? That's the ultimate thing you didn't want to do.

17:31 David Alan Grier Right.

17:32 Adam That should cover everything. To me, everything you do after you get married is a gift. It's a mitzvah for her.

17:37 David Alan Grier How about going to those girly movies? Oh, that's horrible.

17:42 Drew Well, Adam and I are gays, we like that.

17:43 Adam Yeah.

17:44 David Alan Grier You don't like the-

17:45 Adam No, we don't like those girly movies.

17:46 David Alan Grier Yeah, Sister Club, the traveling talking pants.

17:49 That is the most painful.

17:51 David Alan Grier Come on.

17:52 Adam No. If there are underpants, I might go see it.

17:55 But you know, the tail of the traveling jeans or something.

17:57 Drew Linda, 30. Linda, what's going on there?

17:59 Adam I know.

17:59 Caller Linda.

18:00 Adam All right. Linda. Yeah, you're 30. What's up?

18:05 Caller Yeah, can you hear me okay?

18:06 Drew Yeah, we got you.

18:07 Caller Okay. I had a question. I was wanting to know if you had your trance and adenoids removed, would that reduce the gag reflex? And if so, by how much?

18:16 Adam All right, I'm putting her on hold because her connection is bad. What about that, Drew? We never hear about that.

18:21 Drew Linda is 30.

18:22 David Alan Grier And she's asking this question.

18:23 Drew She's not 12. She's 30.

18:25 Adam Well, is she doing this to perform better oral? Because that's interesting. And Linda, are you doing this so you can improve your oral ability?

18:37 Caller Well, that's one of the reasons behind it.

18:40 Drew What's the other reason?

18:42 Caller Well, one is just to avoid anal.

18:47 Caller No, basically, like I cry, it like floods my throat. I gag, I throw up every time I cry.

18:58 Adam Every time you try?

18:59 Drew Cry, cry, cry or cry.

19:01 David Alan Grier Well, how long is this for the one person?

19:04 Drew Did she say try?

19:06 David Alan Grier She's saying try, try, try, try.

19:10 Adam You know, OK, all right.

19:11 David Alan Grier Well, is it just with one person or with many men?

19:15 Caller No, it's like it's pretty much every night.

19:19 David Alan Grier OK, every night.

19:21 Adam Thank you.

19:21 David Alan Grier Everybody, everybody.

19:24 Adam She said everybody or everybody?

19:25 David Alan Grier She said everybody. She's pretty much with everybody.

19:28 Adam I'm going to move out to Tulsa so I can understand Linda.

19:30 David Alan Grier Man, I've been on the road, man. I can understand these chicks.

19:33 Adam Yeah.

19:34 Drew Linda, no, it's not going to really have any impact at all. I mean, by your sort of account or theory, you should be gagging all the time because you have these big things in the back of your throat. The gag reflex is not something associated with tonsil or tonsil or enlargement. Again, think it through. Every time somebody has tonsillitis, they start vomiting constantly because they tonsil swell. Well, no, there's no impact on that.

19:54 David Alan Grier Can you tell her how painful it is as an adult?

19:56 Drew And at 30, it is a major operation. It is not a good idea. Really? No.

20:02 David Alan Grier You know what? You're going to have such hatred for doing this bogus operation and nothing will improve.

20:07 Drew And you're 30, thinking about having your throat reamed out. So only what?

20:12 David Alan Grier Nothing bad with that. What I would suggest, I'm a professional, excuse me, Adam.

20:16 Adam Sorry.

20:16 David Alan Grier You're going to have to perform oral sex on damn near every guy you see. And I want you to go about your business like a scientist. You got to do it more.

20:23 Adam Well, maybe the guy.

20:25 David Alan Grier Double it down.

20:26 Adam Linda, is there any weird abuse or anything we need to know about?

20:33 Caller I don't guess so.

20:34 Drew You don't guess so. Well, that what would that we're only in a position to guess. Maybe you can tell us.

20:39 Well, there was abuse that I'm kind of wondering if you need to know about it.

20:43 Drew Yeah, we need to know about what happened.

20:46 I don't know.

20:48 David Alan Grier I guess people just liked to touch me when I was younger.

20:54 Drew Well, that's what's making you gag and vomit.

20:56 Adam Do you have any kids?

20:58 David Alan Grier No.

20:59 Adam Oh, thank Christ. And yeah.

21:03 Drew What do you do for a living?

21:05 Caller Customer service.

21:07 Adam Of course. Yeah, lamp dances.

21:10 Caller Call me.

21:10 Adam Are you a big gal? Yeah. Yeah. You know why we know you're a big gal? Because well, you're calling from Tulsa.

21:21 David Alan Grier I would have said no.

21:21 Adam I didn't know. You know, she doesn't sound like a big gal. The reason we know she's big gal is because she was molested and she did that weight thing to keep keep people away from her who wouldn't stop talking.

21:30 David Alan Grier I know a lot of chicks who are molested and they're not big.

21:33 Drew They're kind of well, they go that way.

21:36 David Alan Grier They're a little boneless.

21:37 Drew But also at 30, this level of commitment to the male, sort of peculiar.

21:44 David Alan Grier Whose idea was it, this surgery, yours or your man's?

21:48 Caller Well, I mean, I was just curious.

21:50 Drew All right.

21:51 David Alan Grier But how did this come up? I mean, to me, Who thought this up? Yeah, this is this, how did this enter the conversation?

21:58 Drew I was just curious.

21:58 David Alan Grier Actually, I didn't really talk to him about it.

22:00 Adam All right, Linda, here's the thing. You were molested. You should get some therapy. Do not go...

22:07 Drew Focus on your health.

22:08 Adam Right.

22:08 Drew Let's do that.

22:09 Adam Get off the gurney, get on to the sofa.

22:11 Drew Hey, get off the gag.

22:12 Adam Talk to the therapist.

22:13 Drew Stop gagging and stop walking.

22:14 David Alan Grier Let's do some mental, let's get on that mental what? Treadmill.

22:17 Adam That's right. That's right.

22:19 David Alan Grier Bingo.

22:19 Adam Yeah. And you got to talk to your kids. They do, because I saw David Schwimmer say, the more you know, you need to know.

22:27 Caller Hi, I used to be on a very big series.

22:29 I'm not anymore and I'm unemployed.

22:31 Caller Talk to your kids.

22:32 Adam Yeah. My favorite part about the PSAs is you caught them doing something and they look up and find the camera. He's going over his computer. He's looking at a book. Hey, what exactly were you doing at 10 seconds before the camera got to you? Didn't know about the PSA. And then the crazy condescending talk to your kids.

22:49 Caller Oh, hey, talk to your kids.

22:55 Adam Yeah, I know. I had to do a PSA tonight for the for the New Orleans, you know, Gulf Coast Hurricane, whatever. And I just knew what it was going to be. I knew the first line was going to be one of those, hey, I'm Adam Carolla, you know, normally funny. But I'm telling you one thing that's not like I knew that was coming. Sure enough, right. This time, one thing that's not funny.

23:14 David Alan Grier Did you get rid of it? Did you say Bush doesn't like black people? I know that was part of my copy.

23:19 Adam I, you know, to be fair to Bush, I'm not sure if he likes Mexicans or Koreans either.

23:24 David Alan Grier Thank you. Thank you.

23:25 Adam You know what I mean?

23:25 David Alan Grier He likes rich white southerners.

23:29 Yeah.

23:29 Adam I mean, let me just say something. Oh, my God. I didn't mean that.

23:33 David Alan Grier You're black brothers?

23:34 Yeah.

23:34 Adam Here's what I'm saying to my brothers. You guys think Bush hates you guys. He hates everyone but white people. There's many other people he hates. You know what I mean? The brothers think they got the market cornered on, you know, discrimination.

23:44 David Alan Grier Well, this last week, this last week we did.

23:46 Drew More xenophobic. Anything that reminds him of something different. He's like, ooh.

23:50 Adam Yeah.

23:50 Caller Hey, what's that? What's that? What kind of sauce is that?

23:54 We'll get her done. We'll get her done. We're weak like we're done.

23:57 Caller It's talking.

23:58 Oh, yeah.

23:59 David Alan Grier Yeah. No one looks more scared when they're hugging black people than Bush.

24:02 Adam Oh, my God. Did he take a Purell bath on the way home or what? He must have just gotten.

24:07 David Alan Grier Give me my new suit because I'm on Air Force One.

24:10 Caller I got to get the Negro off me.

24:11 Adam He must have jumped into a jacuzzi filled of Purell and just stayed underwater for ten minutes.

24:15 David Alan Grier Who smells like hot wings? It's me, honey. Sorry. Sorry about that. I was hugging the dark ones.

24:20 All right.

24:21 David Alan Grier Let's save some babies.

24:22 All right.

24:22 Adam No, we got to take a break. David Alan Grier.

24:24 David Alan Grier I want to save some more babies.

24:25 Adam Dag, my main man here tonight. Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. All this long weekend. It's got a great improv.

24:32 Drew You got to sell a big weekend.

24:33 Adam Oh, this is big.

24:34 David Alan Grier You know, I want to do a special invitation to the therapist Hooker. I would really like her to cover her show. I would love to extend an invitation to her.

24:48 Drew Bring her up on stage and introduce her to everybody.

24:50 Adam She can head out to a brand.

24:51 Drew Don't look at me.

24:52 Adam Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday.

24:54 Caller Don't look at me.

24:55 Caller Don't you.

24:56 Caller Oh, here.

24:58 Caller Oh my.

25:21 Drew You remember, I sat next to Degg on the flight ride home from Newark. And man, he was doing that all the way.

25:28 And you never shut up. You were like.

25:30 Drew I never shut up, except he'd sit up and start like announcing things, start talking to people.

25:35 Adam Well, he had three seven and sevens.

25:37 David Alan Grier And you know me well.

25:40 Adam Couple of Dexys.

25:40 Caller A little alcohol.

25:43 David Alan Grier My Xanies.

25:44 Adam Couple of Xanies and three seven and sevens.

25:46 Drew Give him a break. Sliliquy singing solos is awesome.

25:49 How dare you?

25:53 Adam David Allen, career, otherwise known as my main man in studio tonight. We'll take a quick break, we'll be right back after this. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOV. All right, quick bit of business here. Tonight, two lucky people are gonna win the Durex Party Pack. Party Pack includes CDs, poker set, money, and of course, a Durex condom. So tonight, we're gonna decide who the two best callers are.

26:42 Drew Yeah, I see one coming up that's gonna be Durex.

26:44 I do, sorry about that, man.

26:47 Adam Yeah, and remember, everyone's brought to you by Durex. You gotta be 18 years of age or older. There's sex and then there's Durex. Yes, Drew?

26:53 Drew Yes, Adam.

26:55 David Alan Grier You have to be 18 to win condoms?

26:57 Yeah.

26:57 Drew On this show, yeah.

26:58 Adam Yeah, because we don't want younger people using condoms.

27:00 Caller That is weak.

27:01 Adam All right, let's, Joe?

27:05 Hello?

27:06 Adam Joe, 26, what's up?

27:08 Caller Hey, how you guys doing tonight?

27:09 Adam Good.

27:09 David Alan Grier It's crack a lead, baby.

27:11 Caller Hey, Doug. Hey, really quick, Dr. Drew, I know it's been a while, but I've read your book and definitely inspiring.

27:19 Drew Oh, thank you.

27:20 Caller And number two, both you and Adam, you guys have inspired me so much. I was one of those junior college kids. After about four, five years of junior college, I'm going to see you guys talk about how to finish up and move on to a four year university. Wow.

27:40 Drew See, just to prove Adam wrong. Well done.

27:44 Caller There's the exception to the rule, right Adam?

27:47 Adam Yeah. Well, no, you're a convert. I motivated you. You wouldn't have done it without me.

27:52 David Alan Grier And what's your question?

27:54 Drew Doug doesn't want to hear any stories of inspiration. He's bored by your story.

27:58 David Alan Grier Oh, come on.

27:59 I'm here to save babies.

28:01 Drew All right, Joe, what's up?

28:02 Caller Just one thing, then. Basically, about a year and a half ago, I had sex with my girlfriend, whom I'm still with. She was diagnosed, I guess, with HPV soon after that.

28:16 Adam Warts, yes.

28:18 Caller We weren't using condoms. So I went testing, nothing came back. I was wondering if any symptoms would occur a year and a half after.

28:26 Drew What do you mean that you were tested?

28:28 Caller I went to Planned Parenthood after we found out, and I was tested. Both the doctor over there did the examination by looking, and then I took a urine test.

28:43 Drew All right, urine. Neither are particularly worthwhile for the HPV in the mail.

28:48 Adam Well, Drew wants everybody on the planet to have warts.

28:51 Drew Well, he does have it. If she has the virus, they've been having sex.

28:54 Adam That's what I'm talking about. But it's been a year, no outbreaks, no visible anything.

28:58 Drew It's not necessary that...

28:59 Adam I know, but Drew, at least be open to the fact that it's possible that he doesn't have it. It's been a year.

29:09 David Alan Grier Anything's possible. That you could be wrong.

29:11 Drew First of all, yeah, that's always possible. But first of all, let's give him the directs back because he needs to...

29:17 Adam Put some condoms on. It's been one year, right, Joe?

29:20 David Alan Grier I thought we were supposed to choose the best condom.

29:23 Drew Who needs the condoms the most? But Joe, here's the deal.

29:24 Caller The only way... That's against the rules.

29:26 Caller You said best call.

29:27 Caller It's 1032.

29:29 Drew We have two to give out tonight. The next one you pick.

29:30 Caller I'm out of here.

29:31 Drew You pick.

29:32 Adam Yeah.

29:32 Drew Joe.

29:33 David Alan Grier I'm leaving, man.

29:34 Adam Please leave.

29:35 Caller I'm out of here.

29:35 Drew All this talk of musical theater made him start to behave like the diva he is.

29:52 Caller Drew, Adam, I appeal to you.

30:07 David Alan Grier Oh, man, thank you.

30:08 Adam His upper lip looks like the Grinch's upper lip breaks into musical theater.

30:14 Drew Andrew Dag Weber. Yeah. So, Joe, here's the deal. The only way, other than the visual inspection, which indeed is the appropriate thing to see if you have warts, the way to detect the presence of the virus without seeing the warts is to pour a quarter percent acetic acid over the penis and look at it with the magnifying woods light. Otherwise, all that urine won't tell you anything.

30:37 David Alan Grier Wait a minute, magnifying woods light, you're not saying like with the black light?

30:40 Drew Black light. Yeah. Why do you have to say magnifying woods light? Really, to see the pre-gazolite. I put, Adam slipped in a stunt penis when I did that to him.

30:48 Adam He did to me on the air.

30:51 David Alan Grier Had you been sleeping with someone who has had the papillomia?

30:54 Drew He must have. He must have.

30:55 Adam I was with a few chicks you'd been with and I wanted to get checked out.

30:58 Caller Oh, hey, look out, welcome to the club, son.

31:00 Caller You know, you know, you're an AC.

31:02 Caller You know.

31:05 Caller Yeah, high five.

31:08 Caller I love being here.

31:09 Caller Joe gets on board.

31:13 Caller Bump the brakes there, Moscow.

31:14 Adam Now, why do they do the urine test if it's because he's checking in for other things?

31:18 Drew Other than chlamydia screening, that kind of thing.

31:20 Adam They gave a visual to the dork. They didn't dump the acetic acid on it. But it's been a year and you've not seen anything.

31:28 Drew Joe?

31:29 Caller Yeah, no, I haven't seen anything.

31:30 Adam Why don't you go to another doctor and ask for the cedic acid test? Go to a dermatologist.

31:33 Drew You go to a dermatologist. They're the ones that can do the more sophisticated tests.

31:36 Adam Yeah, but I'm going to go with you don't have it.

31:38 Drew I'm going to go with you do. You just don't have the warts yet. You got to, here's the deal. Here's the deal. Here's the deal. If you get a new girlfriend, the whole time he's been being exposed to this virus.

31:47 Adam One year he's been without the girl.

31:49 Drew Some of the HPV doesn't even cause a wart. So he's got the virus. And the deal is he will transmit it to somebody else. Let's see where the condom all the time. So there's the pack going.

31:58 Adam One year, Drew, nothing. Anywhere to the doctor.

32:02 David Alan Grier Some of the papalunkis don't produce the carbuncles. And how do you test with the uric acid?

32:08 Drew Sometimes you can't even, it's hard to do it. You can't do it with great reliability.

32:12 Whatever.

32:13 Adam All right, Drew, here's the deal. You got the warts according to Drew. I mean, there's new borns that have warts according to Drew. There's dead people that have warts according to Drew.

32:25 Caller I call them love, love bumps.

32:27 Adam Karen?

32:29 Caller Yes?

32:29 Adam You're 20?

32:31 Caller Yes, I am. How are you guys in tonight?

32:33 Adam Good. Drew's looking up literature to support his cockamamie theory.

32:36 David Alan Grier Karen, what are you wearing? Go ahead, Karen.

32:39 Caller I just want to say that I love the way you guys just keep it real.

32:43 David Alan Grier Thank you.

32:43 Caller There's not too many people that just keep it real and you guys honestly do.

32:48 Adam Thank you.

32:48 David Alan Grier Thank you very much.

32:49 Caller Do you wear a pants or a dress?

32:52 Caller On to the subject.

32:54 Adam Oh, okay.

32:55 Caller Go ahead.

32:57 Caller When I have sex, I have to use a vibrator in order to get an orgasm.

33:03 Adam With your man? You said with your man?

33:07 Caller Yes, I use it with my man and myself.

33:11 David Alan Grier Is he into it or is he intimidated at all? He's like, hey, what's this cockamamie machine?

33:16 Caller He loves it. He does not mind. But the thing is that I tend to use it every time we have sex now, and I just don't want to become dependent on it.

33:26 Drew You already are.

33:27 David Alan Grier Right. No, she's not dependent on it.

33:29 Drew She uses it every time.

33:30 David Alan Grier Well, so then don't use it every time.

33:34 Adam Well, is it such a crime to be dependent on something?

33:39 Drew No, it's fine.

33:39 Adam And could you have an orgasm without it?

33:42 Drew Is it possible?

33:47 Caller It's yes or no.

33:49 Caller Orally, yes.

33:50 Adam All right.

33:51 Caller But foreplay, it takes me a really, really long time.

33:55 David Alan Grier What's a really long time?

33:56 Caller I'm very impatient.

33:57 David Alan Grier Two days?

33:59 Caller No, not that long.

34:00 Adam Well, you said foreplay. You mean intercourse? Drew, quiet. We believe you. You have statistics.

34:06 Caller Um, can you repeat that again? I'm sorry. I didn't hear you.

34:10 David Alan Grier I asked you.

34:11 Adam Wait a minute.

34:12 David Alan Grier You said it takes you a long time during foreplay. And then Adam said.

34:16 Caller I'm playing with the clitoris. And it takes a lot longer than it would have vibrated.

34:21 David Alan Grier And I said, how long?

34:23 And you lost your way.

34:25 David Alan Grier Longer than this conversation? Cause I'm with you again. Get the vibrator. Cause I can't.

34:29 Adam Just keep it out. Here's the thing. It's like the difference between making whipped cream with a hand beater and making whipped cream with electric beater.

34:38 David Alan Grier Absolutely.

34:39 Adam It just, same result. One's going to take half the time. That's all.

34:43 David Alan Grier One of them, will take you there.

34:46 Caller Be-da-ling, be-da-ling, be-da-ling, be-da-ling, be-da-ling, be-da-ling, be-da-ling, be-da-ling, be-da-ling, be-da-ling, I, I, I take you there. Right, Drew?

34:55 Caller Hey!

34:56 David Alan Grier He has torn a piece of paper from Boy's Life. He's looking for...

34:59 Adam I know, he's obsessed. Look, Drew's got a piece of paper that says half the people living in urban societies will currently have the word virus.

35:08 David Alan Grier You're a homeless man, look at this.

35:09 Adam That means there's half that don't have it. That's all I'm saying.

35:12 Caller I have proof that Bush is infecting all black people with herpes simplex virus. It's right here on my comic book, the article, David. Where's my black folder? Someone stole my black folder!

35:23 Adam Doug, what do you think about all that stuff that's going on in New Orleans? Drew, please just look at it during the break.

35:27 David Alan Grier It's a tragedy. It's a tragedy.

35:29 Adam I know. Do you think it's racist? What do you think is going on?

35:32 David Alan Grier I think it's race and economics. Of course. Of course, you can't view it without those two components. I mean, does Bush not like black people? No, it's what we said earlier. I just think, has he ever been the poverty president? No, he's more comfortable handing out deals to big business. I mean, that's who and what he's about. But I think it's absolutely race and economics.

35:56 Drew Well, is it class more, you think?

35:59 David Alan Grier That's it too, but that comes into race and economics.

36:01 Drew Gets involved.

36:02 David Alan Grier Absolutely. I mean, and I don't think people know, we were talking about the makeup of New Orleans, and okay, it's 70, 80% African American, the vast majority of which are below the poverty line, the makeup of the city, that the poor you are, the lower lying houses are for the poor, so they were flooded more. There was no evacuation plan. I mean, there's a lot of elements.

36:27 Drew It may not be PC, but we were saying, this could be a great thing for these people.

36:31 David Alan Grier They're going to get money, they're going to get money, I mean, if they lost their families.

36:33 Drew No, they get money, they get relocated. No, not that, but they get money, they're relocated, they get new social services.

36:38 David Alan Grier That's a big component.

36:39 Drew I'm going to accuse you of what we discuss.

36:41 David Alan Grier No, you said it's good for these people that these families, that there may be 10,000, 15,000 people killed and that's a good thing for these people to move to Houston. Have you ever been to Houston? Give me New Orleans anytime. At least they have jazz in New Orleans.

36:55 Drew I'm actually surprised at you because it's not what you said about the Coke Machine.

36:58 Caller How dare you?

36:59 Caller I was drunk.

37:00 Caller I didn't even know you.

37:01 Caller It was dark, Dr. Drew.

37:03 Adam He's not talking about a Coke Machine. He's talking about one of the other DJs.

37:07 Caller The cocaine machine, baby.

37:08 Drew That's his name.

37:09 Caller The cocaine machine.

37:10 David Alan Grier I never said that I thought it would be good for these people.

37:13 Drew Let me repeat. It could be. It could be.

37:15 David Alan Grier Well, I mean, I know.

37:16 Drew They're getting relocated, getting jobs, getting money, getting social services. Forget aside from-

37:21 David Alan Grier Hopefully. Hopefully.

37:22 Drew Yeah. Well, I think they will. I mean, listen, everyone is trying to help out with this part of the world.

37:27 David Alan Grier Everyone but the government now.

37:28 Drew The government, in spite of the government. Personally, I think the government is the state of everything. It's us doing it ourselves. It's fine. But-

37:34 David Alan Grier Really? They should?

37:35 Drew I'm just saying.

37:36 David Alan Grier No, but that's what you believe.

37:37 Drew I mean, obviously it's impossible.

37:40 David Alan Grier Well, let your cantilevered house in Cambria or whatever the hell you live slip off that mountain. Trust me, you'll be calling 911 faster than I can show you.

37:49 Adam Let's-

37:50 David Alan Grier I am not through, Adam.

37:51 As president.

37:53 Adam I'm going to agree with you and I'm going to agree with both of you. But here's what I'm going to say. This is a tragedy, but in many tragedies, there's some opportunities in those tragedies.

38:03 David Alan Grier I'm just saying, look, let's take care of these people.

38:06 Drew Yes, that's the point.

38:07 Caller Let's not point fingers.

38:08 Adam No, let's take care of them, but here's what Drew is saying. And I think he may have a point, which is minus the flood, these poorest of the poor living way under the poverty line.

38:18 Drew Would stay right there.

38:19 Adam Would just be flatlining it straight through for the next 30 years until diabetes claimed them and they were burying some unmarked grave. Maybe this is an opportunity to shine a light on this area for people to get involved.

38:32 David Alan Grier We will see. Yes, we will see. Hopefully, hopefully out of this tragedy, which it is, then some good will come. But, you know, that's that. And I think a lot of things, but I don't want to. I'm here to. It's called Loveline, not New Orleans flood line. Right.

38:48 Caller Oh, it's called Loveline, not Floodline.

38:53 David Alan Grier You know, there's a flood. There's a flood of helping.

38:55 Caller Yeah.

38:56 Adam You know what I'm saying?

38:57 Caller You're going to drown in our love. Hey, man. I'm waist deep in what? Helping, man.

39:00 Adam That's right. I was going to say S, but yeah. All right. David Alan Grier, buddy, we'll take a quick break. It's going to be Debraia Improv, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. And I've seen Greg do stand up.

39:12 David Alan Grier Well, it wasn't a different.

39:13 Drew You'll all have a chance to meet the Prostitute Therapist because she's going to show up.

39:16 David Alan Grier Darling, wherever you are, please come here.

39:19 Caller All right.

39:19 Adam We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

39:25 Caller The phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191.

39:38 Adam There, buddy, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew.

39:42 Caller And I'm David Alan Grier.

39:43 Adam 1-800-B-E-1-1.

39:43 David Alan Grier Hold it down with my two buddies here, trying to save some babies.

39:46 Adam Dag, did you give some money to the Red Cross?

39:49 Caller I'm sorry, you're breaking up.

39:51 Adam Drew, did you give any damn money to the Red Cross?

39:53 Drew I did, and I signed up with the Health and Human Services to offer my-

39:57 Adam Get over there.

39:58 Drew I will fly down there, I will work 14-hour days, and they-

40:02 David Alan Grier Oh, 14-hour day? Look at him, Mr. Big Shot.

40:04 Drew No, you know, whatever they need.

40:05 Caller Hey, it's 15 hours, I can't save another person, I need a break.

40:10 Drew It's clear to me that they need an internist down there, I'm an internist, I'm gonna do change of the eye bag.

40:14 David Alan Grier You need an internist, there are doctors down there that work for five days, you priss.

40:19 Caller They didn't have me 14 hours.

40:21 Drew No, no, 14 hours a day, for as many days as they need.

40:25 David Alan Grier I will raise you by two hours. I will go down there, Adam, and I will tell my unique brand of humor for 18 hours. These people need to laugh.

40:33 Caller They're going to drown themselves after three hours. What's going on?

40:36 David Alan Grier You're about to get a flood of entertainment.

40:38 Drew Why don't you cancel Irvine?

40:39 Caller You know what I'm saying?

40:40 Drew Hey, cancel Brea and go down to Houston.

40:45 David Alan Grier Is it just me?

40:45 Caller I just swam in and boy are my arms tired.

40:48 Drew Anyway, I'm actually a little frustrated because I signed up with HHS.

40:52 Adam And, you know, yeah, shut David's mic. Yeah.

40:55 Drew And I get this. Please understand, please.

40:57 Caller For a bottle of water, somebody charged me.

40:59 Caller I have no control over the mic.

41:02 Drew And so I get this. I get this. We'll call you early in the week. We'll set you up. They're disorganized. Where do I go? Tell me where to go.

41:08 Adam I'll go through it. My wife announced that we're adopting a family from New Orleans when I got home. And I was just like, well, I don't want a bunch of kids running. And she's like, they're going to put new carpet and she's like, no, we're giving a bunch of money and crap. They stay there. And I was like, oh, yeah, I have had it.

41:27 David Alan Grier You were so you're like, Dion, Trion, Ray Ray, please off the hillside.

41:33 Adam La Crotcha.

41:35 David Alan Grier Well, La Crotcha is kind of cute. She can stay.

41:39 Adam No, no, we're going to adopt. First off, I got a bunch of crap I could send out there. I got like five coffee machines and stuff.

41:45 David Alan Grier Also, you got that.

41:46 Drew We sent clothes.

41:47 David Alan Grier Yeah. You do your motocross. You could send some of those boots over there.

41:51 Adam Send some of those boots.

41:51 David Alan Grier It must be quite good.

41:52 Adam No, we gave money to the Red Cross, but we're just going to adopt the family. That's the way to do it. Just send them some money, send them some stuff and take care of them over there.

42:01 Yeah, be honest.

42:03 Adam True, please. Sounds good. Not into the mic, Drew.

42:05 David Alan Grier I'm doing a benefit concert next Thursday at the Forum. Yeah, to raise money for Red Cross myself and several other performers. I think Steve Harvey's also on the bill. The tickets will go on sale tomorrow. So come by. I know, Adam, how you like your negros with the performing. He's down for the get down.

42:26 Adam Yeah, I am. I like them on the other side of the street. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. David Alan Grier, my main man, going to be at the Irvine, oh, the Brea. Sorry, improv. Yeah, sorry, buddy.

42:39 David Alan Grier What were we saying?

42:39 Adam Were we talking about me being racist? You know what I'm saying?

42:41 David Alan Grier I'm sorry. Let's do a quick impression of Dr. Drew, Ground Zero. He just, the helicopter lands. Okay.

42:47 Caller Hey, it's...

42:50 Caller We got a passenger.

42:50 Caller What passenger?

42:51 Caller Dr. Drew Pinsky here to help.

42:53 Caller I'm here. Who do I check in with?

42:55 Caller Excuse me.

42:57 Caller Are you deaf?

42:59 Caller Do you have no rubber gloves?

43:02 Caller I need to call my triplets.

43:05 David Alan Grier Who is in charge here?

43:10 Caller The dude just laughed.

43:12 Caller He's very angry.

43:13 Adam That's it. There you go. Jennifer?

43:16 Yeah.

43:17 Adam You're 18?

43:18 Caller Yes, I'm 18.

43:20 Adam What's up?

43:21 Caller I like older men. Like men that are much older than me.

43:27 Drew Older men.

43:28 Caller How much older?

43:31 Caller Sometimes like 30, 40 years older. I mean, I've been in church.

43:35 Drew Here's the comment.

43:36 Caller Come here and give me a hug.

43:39 Drew Adam's assumption is that all 18, 20 year olds like guys his age.

43:43 Adam Not all of them, but a lot of 18 year old chicks like guys in their 30s. That's for damn sure.

43:49 Caller Or 40s.

43:51 Drew There's a problem when that's the case.

43:53 David Alan Grier Now, why are you calling? You sound like you obviously feel like you must have a problem. What's what's going on?

43:58 Caller No, no other girl my age is attracted to men. And they all think it's weird. And I'm not a real stupid girl. I'm not.

44:09 Caller I just want to know if it's normal.

44:11 Adam If there's are you dating? Have you ever dated anyone 20 years older than you?

44:15 Caller I've never dated anyone. I've hung out with them before. I've never slept with one.

44:22 David Alan Grier I mean, you saying when you say hung out, what does that mean?

44:25 Caller We we drank and I had always a good icebreaker group of friends that were there. All right.

44:33 Drew Well, listen, did you lose your dad when you were young or something?

44:36 Caller No, my dad's in my life were normal, normal family.

44:42 Drew And here's the deal.

44:43 Caller Just kind of hold on.

44:44 David Alan Grier Hold on. Yes, he obviously thinks that there's a problem, don't you?

44:49 Drew She's just curious.

44:50 David Alan Grier Well, yeah, I mean, but it seems like if you are so comfortable with hanging out with a guy who's 20 years older than you or so, what's stopping you from really a full closing?

45:00 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

45:01 David Alan Grier And just saying, you know, this is what I want. I think it's healthy. Damn the torpedoes.

45:05 Caller I want to be with this guy because before it never I wasn't 18. So I never could. Now that I am 18, I just want to know, like, is it? Is there something like wrong with me?

45:17 Drew Well, I don't think you have to worry about it being something. It means something. It doesn't have to mean that there's something wrong in the sense that it's significantly pathological. But I will tell you, it tends not to work out to your advantage. Young women tend to get exploited by older men. Older men tend to have different priorities in their life than you would at 18.

45:35 David Alan Grier What kind of exploitation?

45:37 Caller Say DeAndre 39 says, Look here baby, take this bag to Atlantic City, and ask for my partner Dino. Now look here girl, he's going to have leopard shorty shorts on, and do what he wants you to do, or you're going to get shook.

45:54 David Alan Grier Something like that maybe.

45:58 Adam I love it when David does the black guy.

46:01 Caller I'm not stupid.

46:03 Adam He just has head nuts on black guy.

46:05 Drew It's amazing. Jennifer, listen, we're not being critical. I'm just saying that it tends not to work out well for the woman in these situations, and it has to do with the different place in one's life one is when they're 18 vs. 42.

46:17 Adam Here's what you need to do.

46:18 David Alan Grier You know my second wife, my third daughter, she had problems when she was in high school just like you baby.

46:23 Caller I remember back in the 40s when I was a senior, I remember I messed up my little spot queers and wheels on a plantation, my momma was very upset with me.

46:32 Adam Go to college, get out of the house.

46:33 Drew Yeah, it's okay, this is fine, but just...

46:36 Adam She hasn't acted on it.

46:37 Drew Maybe kind of keep it to guys in the early 30s. That's much different than the late 30s.

46:41 Adam Alright, we'll take ourselves a quick break.

46:43 David Alan Grier A break?

46:44 Adam Yeah.

46:45 David Alan Grier What kind of a cockamamie system is this? Who is in charge?

46:49 Adam Nobody, that's the problem.

46:50 Drew It's going to be nice rear brakes and do it. Yiddish.

46:53 Adam We'll take ourselves a quick break.

46:55 Drew Cockamamie.

46:55 Adam Be right back after this.

47:15 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191 Yeah, buddy, it's Love Line.

47:42 Adam And I'm Adam Nance, Dr. Drew, and of course, in studio tonight, my main, main, main, main, main, main, main man, David Allen Grier.

47:53 David Alan Grier Dude, we haven't worked out in your house, man. We used to work out in his living room before he was married, before he was all ball and chain, you know.

48:00 Drew He still has that workout room upstairs.

48:01 David Alan Grier No, no, no, this is in the living room.

48:03 Caller Oh, his old house.

48:06 Caller Yeah, that's his old house.

48:07 David Alan Grier I know that he's a man of many homes, but I'm saying, I was like, Adam, shouldn't we go in the gyms? Like, nah, let's do it right here.

48:13 Drew You should see if you've been to the gym.

48:14 Adam Dave, come on over.

48:15 Drew Have you been?

48:16 Adam Come on.

48:16 David Alan Grier I used to jog around there, but they closed the reservoir because of Al-Qaeda and, you know, 9-11.

48:22 Adam Come on down.

48:23 David Alan Grier I'd like to. I'd like to. I'd like to. I'd bring my chainsaw. Hey, this is nuts.

48:27 Adam What do you got? You got the chainsaw?

48:28 David Alan Grier Should I bring my chainsaw?

48:29 Adam Bring the chainsaw.

48:29 Caller Oh, look out.

48:31 Adam I had that baby happen.

48:32 Drew You didn't invite him to your housewarming party.

48:34 David Alan Grier Yes, he did. Yes, he did. I was out of town.

48:36 Adam Drew, what a colossal a-hole you are, by the way.

48:38 Caller And I have to tell you, you and Drew, I knew there was a story there.

48:41 Drew Listen, if I really thought you were Ace, did you hear that?

48:44 David Alan Grier He invited me.

48:44 Drew If I thought, hey, you didn't want him, or B, you had invited him, I wouldn't have invited him.

48:48 Adam That could have been really uncomfortable. And then he would have thought it was a racist thing and it would have spun out into something.

48:53 David Alan Grier It was a couple of years ago, right?

48:55 Drew Let me read this.

48:56 Adam It was a year ago. And I invited Dave.

48:58 David Alan Grier Whoa.

48:59 Adam I mean, a couple, no, it could have been three months ago. What about four or five months ago?

49:04 David Alan Grier You mean the House in the Valley?

49:06 Adam Yeah.

49:06 Caller No.

49:07 Drew Oh, I mean, yes, yes, yes, that house.

49:09 Caller I am out of here.

49:11 Caller I am so, Adam, how could you?

49:14 David Alan Grier I thought we were friends, man.

49:16 Adam What a dick you are, Drew.

49:17 David Alan Grier This is my tsunami, okay?

49:19 Drew Okay.

49:20 Caller Now this is a dick hurricane of emotions here.

49:21 Adam Now a flood of tears coming out of your head.

49:25 Drew He's going to cry till he pukes.

49:26 Caller I wasted.

49:29 Caller Let's take some calls.

49:31 Adam But Dave, I mean, if it makes you that sick that you weren't invited to my party.

49:35 David Alan Grier You didn't invite me, you didn't invite me.

49:36 Adam Let me tell you this, too. Yeah, why didn't you come to my party?

49:38 David Alan Grier I was out of town.

49:40 Adam All right.

49:41 David Alan Grier I was out of town.

49:41 Adam Two lucky people are going to win. Actually one lucky person because we already gave away one of our Durex Party Packs. It includes CDs, a poker set, money and of course the Durex condoms. Tonight, we're going to decide the one best caller and give away that party pack. There's brought to you by Durex.

49:58 Drew Dag is going to pick this call.

49:59 Adam 18 years of age or older. There's sex and then there's Durex.

50:03 Caller Durex. Durex.

50:06 Caller You hear that one? Durex.

50:08 Adam Great German porn. I read it. Durex.

50:13 David Alan Grier German porn. That is scary.

50:15 Drew Really?

50:16 Adam Why?

50:16 David Alan Grier It's just the deepest, darkest.

50:18 Drew What do they do?

50:19 David Alan Grier I can't even explain on the, I'll tell you later.

50:22 Adam I'll tell you.

50:23 Caller It involves the other porthole.

50:26 David Alan Grier Let me tell you.

50:27 Adam I'll tell you what about the Germans. They're like the Japanese. They're pretty, they're wrapped pretty tight. But once they snap, look out.

50:34 David Alan Grier Yes.

50:35 Adam They close out.

50:35 Drew Was it the women or the men? Which is both.

50:37 Adam The whole society.

50:39 David Alan Grier The Japanese, the difference is Japanese make a game out of it. They'll make a game out of it and it's on television. I mean the foulest.

50:47 Adam Yeah.

50:48 Caller You know.

50:49 Adam I'm trying to think who sort of, you know, the brothers, the Latinos, they just not a lot of range. Well, you know what you're getting. You know what you're getting with that group.

50:58 David Alan Grier Well, the blacks, they're a lot of, a lot of talk. A lot of, a lot of big time verbalization. Baby, baby's coming.

51:03 Caller Here we go. We about to throw down. You better hold on to something girl, because here I come. I'm knocking at the door. Look out. Here we go. No, you didn't.

51:27 Adam Still in the Escalade, too.

51:28 Caller Yeah, never actually.

51:31 Caller Where was I? Baby, we coming.

51:33 Caller Look out.

51:35 Adam I like the way I like the way Dagg had bowed to pressure and eventually get some rims on his Escalade.

51:42 Caller Did I tell you that the guy, the guard at Fox, when he's at Fox, this guy makes what?

51:48 Caller Minimum wage like, 10-inch rims. Did you ride a bicycle to work? But my rims ain't 10 inches.

52:00 Adam Dagg tried to be, your Dagg for three years was the only black man in the United States who drove an Escalade with stock rims. Too much. He succumbed to pressure.

52:09 Drew Too much.

52:11 David Alan Grier I said, the dealer told me, these polished aluminum rims that come with the car, they have the emblem on them.

52:17 Drew That sounds hip. That sounds hip. That'll get you high. Right there.

52:23 Adam Jews are the same way with rims.

52:25 Drew Oh, how dare you.

52:26 Adam Yeah, Drew had stockers on the MPI for a long time until Dr. Boorstein and Edstein.

52:32 Drew They all had spinners.

52:32 Adam They all had spinners.

52:34 Caller Look at Dr. Drew!

52:36 Adam They had spinners on the Volvo, shaped like Thradals, and they eventually got to him and he had to just step up to some 24s.

52:42 David Alan Grier Spinners on the Volvo? That doesn't sound interesting, Dr. Drew.

52:45 Drew They don't shape like Thradals. They just have Hebrew letters on each blade.

52:49 Adam You want to hear something sad. You want to hear something scary. I, someone was telling me at the office that now they offer rims, they rent rims out. And I thought, wow.

53:02 Drew That means they're so expensive.

53:03 Adam Finally a new low. Well, it's like, you, you know, nice set of rims is five grand. The folks, ironically, that are really into the rims don't have the five grand. So instead they pay 300 bucks a month for rims. And I, I didn't think you could get any lower than renting furniture for your home. But I think this is it.

53:23 Drew You're right.

53:23 David Alan Grier This is it.

53:24 Adam And it's also one of those things where I don't, I don't, I don't lobby for the man getting involved, but it's sort of like those check cashing places. You're taking the pours of the pour and you're sort of feeding on them a little bit.

53:37 David Alan Grier Paycheck advance.

53:38 Adam Well, this takes 15% from Pedro. He knows he doesn't have an ID, so he can't hammer it anywhere else. The rim, the rim places. I might do a little sting operation to find out.

53:48 David Alan Grier You come out, you come out. Dude, what happened to your car? I didn't pay my rent, Bill. What?

53:53 Adam Well, they only took one.

53:55 David Alan Grier We're coming back, man. We're coming back. Get them all to three.

54:00 Adam The point is his dag had to eventually break down and get the rims.

54:04 David Alan Grier But here's also what I have. What do you do with your rims after you're done with your car? So this is my third car and my garage is full of rims now.

54:12 Adam Yeah. It's like a four-day tire center at his house.

54:14 David Alan Grier You can't. What am I going to do with them?

54:16 Adam That's the whole thing. You can't throw them away because-

54:18 David Alan Grier I try to give them to my friends and they're like-

54:21 Adam No.

54:21 Drew It was the last years.

54:22 David Alan Grier Yeah. Why are you giving them to me?

54:24 Adam No. Maybe if you find a brother who's driving like a go-kart, he could put the stock 60 on that.

54:31 David Alan Grier Well, these are only 18. Yeah. I got my doodoo's now. My 22's.

54:34 Caller I done bumped it up from 18 to dookie doos, baby. Doodoo's.

54:39 David Alan Grier Anything bigger and it feels like you're riding on a unicycle.

54:43 Caller It's just like, kank, kank, kank.

54:45 David Alan Grier There's a guy who came the day I got my rims. He had like 26 inch rims. I was like, dude, how they ride?

54:51 Caller He like, it rides like- it's a horrible ride, but it looks beautiful.

54:55 David Alan Grier You know, because there's no tire. There's like a quarter of an inch of rubber.

54:59 Adam And the thing about it too is I was talking to a guy who works for Brembo, who's the lead engineer at Brembo. It's like the biggest brake company in the world. And I was saying, now, I see these guys, the stock rim was 16. They throw 24s on there. I see the stock brake disc. It looks like a Yamaha inside here. It's so small. How does it stop it? And he says, oh, it doesn't. And I said, well, what do you mean? Well, he said, well, think about it. The thing is two feet higher than it normally was with the same circumference of stopping pad and the same disc. And when you slam the brakes on, a car that normally stopped at 170 feet now stops in 300 feet.

55:44 David Alan Grier Adam, let me jump in here.

55:45 Caller Dr. Drew, it's what's Adam's trying to say is you take a Highland Gorilla, okay?

55:52 David Alan Grier Now you swap out that liver for a little froggy liver.

55:56 Drew Oh, yeah.

55:56 David Alan Grier It's not going to clean the blood this time.

55:58 Drew No, right.

55:58 Caller That's what I'm saying.

55:59 Drew I got it.

56:00 Caller Did I?

56:00 David Alan Grier Now do you get it?

56:01 Drew Oh, yo.

56:02 Caller Let's save some babies.

56:03 Adam Oh, now here's the thing. You got a guy in 6,500 pounds worth of Escalade. Yeah.

56:11 Drew Yeah.

56:12 Caller Escalade, baby.

56:13 Adam He's moving fast.

56:14 Drew He's got 800 pounds of wheel.

56:17 Adam Yeah. And let's not forget about four pounds of chronic. And now he's at 150 feet to a stopping distance.

56:23 Drew Oh boy.

56:24 David Alan Grier I learned that the first two weeks I got my...

56:26 Drew Well, actually, it kind of worked.

56:28 David Alan Grier I got in four accidents.

56:29 Drew Here's the deal. Here's why this is all working. The math works because the chronic is not like alcohol. Alcohol, you speed up, you slow down later. Chronic, you're freaking out a little bit. You're making a little more adjustments to distances, being a little more careful.

56:42 Adam Yes.

56:42 Drew You got that extra 150 feet.

56:43 Adam If the brothers drove like white guys drove.

56:46 Drew Yes. If they drove.

56:48 David Alan Grier There would be accidents. Let me ask one medical question. You know they have these new like vaporizing pipes. Is it that they heat so hot?

56:56 Caller It's such a high rated vaporizes.

56:58 David Alan Grier And what does that eliminate? That eliminates smoke, really.

57:01 Drew Smoke, so it's not so irritating. You can look at the chronic bronchitis, which is routine from marijuana.

57:05 David Alan Grier Right, really. You cough a lot, do you?

57:07 Caller Yeah, yeah.

57:09 David Alan Grier Clear your throat.

57:09 Drew And I try to get snoring when you sleep. How was it?

57:14 Adam It was weird.

57:15 Drew Really?

57:16 Adam It was like somebody just ate a kilo of weed and farted in your mouth.

57:21 Drew Oh, really?

57:21 David Alan Grier Yeah.

57:22 Adam It was weird. Call me old fashioned.

57:24 David Alan Grier Do you get higher or something?

57:26 Adam I don't even eat. You don't know what to do with it because you're not sure when to stop or what's going on. And then everyone gets high and leaves it on and then starts a small fire.

57:35 David Alan Grier I don't like marijuana at all.

57:37 Adam Not your thing.

57:38 David Alan Grier I was when I was in 11th grade, but not now.

57:41 Adam Now it's pretty much Hennessy and prescription pills.

57:44 Caller You are a man who knows me like a book.

57:50 Caller Adam, you know me like the back of your hand.

57:56 Adam Jade?

57:56 Caller Yeah.

57:57 Adam You're 19?

58:00 Caller What's up?

58:01 Caller I've been interested in and involved with ESM and fetishism for quite some time. Finally. As far as being active, it's only been about two years, but my interests have been for quite longer than that.

58:18 Adam That's bondage and sadomasochism?

58:21 David Alan Grier Yes.

58:21 Caller Bondage and sadomasochism.

58:24 David Alan Grier How would you describe yourself? A switch dominant?

58:27 Caller I'm a submissive.

58:28 Adam A what?

58:30 David Alan Grier Submissive.

58:31 Drew She like beating on girls. No, yes, you do. You like the submissive.

58:35 David Alan Grier That's me? I'm more talking to her.

58:37 Drew Yeah, just think about what you're into. The don't look at me and all that stuff.

58:39 David Alan Grier It's all submissive. Now, are you currently, would you describe yourself as a slave?

58:44 Caller I'm not in a relationship right now.

58:46 Drew If you were.

58:47 David Alan Grier So you're not.

58:48 Are you collared?

58:50 David Alan Grier Are you currently collared?

58:51 No.

58:52 David Alan Grier God bless you.

58:53 Adam If you're in a relationship, would you be a slave?

58:56 David Alan Grier Not necessarily.

58:58 Caller It depends on the type of relationship. If it's a power play relationship, yeah.

59:01 Drew What does that mean?

59:02 Caller Power play is pretty much giving all your liberties and freedoms to your owner and your master.

59:07 Adam Yeah.

59:08 David Alan Grier And it's done with love, Dr. Drew.

59:09 Caller It is. It's a very loving relationship.

59:11 David Alan Grier They don't understand, Darryl.

59:12 Adam I could get down with this. I admit it would get old after about 30 years.

59:16 David Alan Grier No, it would never get old.

59:19 Adam About 30 years.

59:19 Drew Too much information.

59:22 Adam I could get down with this.

59:23 David Alan Grier So what is your call? Why are you calling? You sound absolutely perfect to me.

59:28 Caller Yeah, it's not perfect because I cannot have regular relationships and I also can't achieve orgasm without BDSM or fetish related things.

59:38 David Alan Grier So you're saying you're saying you can't do a lot of people kind of split vanilla, the manila life, and then they have their other thing, right? So you're saying you're totally without this element. You can't. But why does that present a problem? I mean, if you're in a relationship, then you're happy, right? You're not in a relationship now, so you're not happy. Do you want to go back to the way you were before?

1:00:00 Caller I want to have a good mix of both. I just don't think it's healthy.

1:00:05 Drew Here's the problem, is that you start splitting off parts of yourself, and this is exactly what you're going through. There's a fetish that really takes over everything that is sexual with you and everything else that you consider sort of more good gets split off from that. So you have a good self and a bad self, and that's a very unhealthy way to go through life, because you'll start attaching yourself to people that are either good or bad, and your BDSM friend will be part of the bad thing, and that will be a lot of dysfunction and trouble.

1:00:30 David Alan Grier Dr. Drew will be the good and boring.

1:00:32 Drew Yeah, good is boring, that's right.

1:00:35 Adam So what should she do?

1:00:35 Drew Well, I wonder, did this come from some physical abuse growing up?

1:00:39 David Alan Grier Where are you calling from?

1:00:40 Drew Kansas.

1:00:43 David Alan Grier How many miles away is that?

1:00:44 Drew Big BDSM.

1:00:45 Caller You can make my morning.

1:00:46 David Alan Grier Talk on it.

1:00:47 Drew Were you physically, were people disciplining you when you grew up?

1:00:52 Caller As far as I know, I do. I actually just explained this to my best friend the other night. I've been told about a year ago, I had no idea about this, but I've been getting flashbacks and memories of being abused by a babysitter when I was young.

1:01:09 Drew Sexually abused?

1:01:10 Caller Yes.

1:01:11 Drew And was that a painful experience?

1:01:13 Caller The thing is, it's one of those things that I'm just now... All right.

1:01:18 Drew Did it seem to have physical pain associated with it?

1:01:20 Caller Yes.

1:01:21 Drew Yeah. And that's sort of where this comes from. And that's where this comes from.

1:01:24 Adam Well, Drew, is there any therapist that specialize in sort of bringing people back from or out of, like they have people that are for, you know, when people get involved with cults and they reprogram them when they come, they try to get them out of the cult and back into society? Shouldn't there be people that specialize in this sort of thing?

1:01:48 Drew You would think so. I mean, like unwinding a fetish, so to speak.

1:01:51 David Alan Grier Can you unwind it?

1:01:52 Drew It's very difficult. You can. It's very difficult. The power of the fetish goes down. You may never eliminate it.

1:01:58 David Alan Grier Maybe it's not as obsessive.

1:02:00 Drew Right. It doesn't take over this way.

1:02:01 David Alan Grier Or as I call it, it's fun.

1:02:05 Caller Call me Devil's Advocate.

1:02:06 Adam No, I know people freak out because first you start with the shrink that specializes in the BDSM and then the next thing you know, you got all the Christian right-wingers bringing their lesbian daughter to have them de-programmed.

1:02:19 Drew Really, what you do is get people that are used to dealing with trauma survivors. Right.

1:02:23 Adam Because that's the source.

1:02:23 David Alan Grier You should just go the traditional therapy route and talk about disaster.

1:02:27 Drew I agree with you.

1:02:28 Adam Yeah. Dag, you're in therapy, yes?

1:02:30 David Alan Grier Not currently. I'm out there raging.

1:02:36 Drew What made you break free?

1:02:36 Adam Where are you running from, baby?

1:02:39 David Alan Grier I don't know. I'll get back in touch sometime.

1:02:41 Caller How long has it been?

1:02:41 It's been a while.

1:02:43 Adam So, the therapist talked you into the rims and then you split.

1:02:46 Caller Really? Get the rims, baby. This Dr. Antoine saying, get the rims, hit me on my hip. Now, if I'm not in my office, talk to Dino. Talk to Dino and take this bag to him. Don't open it up. Don't be looking at it. He the one with the leopard shorty shorts. And do what he says now.

1:03:05 Adam Eric?

1:03:06 Hey.

1:03:07 Adam You're 19?

1:03:08 Caller Yeah. Can I just say that I love you, Dag. I think you're the great guest on Love Line.

1:03:12 Adam He is clearly.

1:03:14 Caller And if I were to, anyone to replace you when you move to Howard's Turn, Adam? Yes. The best replacement would be Dag.

1:03:22 Drew Wow.

1:03:22 David Alan Grier I say right in, right in right now.

1:03:24 Drew Right in management here at this radio station.

1:03:26 David Alan Grier Thank you. That's very nice of you.

1:03:28 Adam Now, what is the nature of your from your mouth to Satan's ear?

1:03:31 Caller I have a joining order for you.

1:03:34 Adam Satan's in the studio. Hold on a second.

1:03:36 Caller Excuse me.

1:03:37 Adam Satan, I'd like to get Dag a gig here a whole time.

1:03:40 Caller I want to say hello to you.

1:03:43 Caller And I hope you have a good day.

1:03:44 Caller It's good stuff. That's good. Very good.

1:03:47 Caller Dag.

1:03:47 Drew Dag Dr. Drew. Beelzebub?

1:03:50 Caller Yeah. Well, he's here with me.

1:03:52 Drew Beelzebub.

1:03:52 Caller He's kind of like my co-host.

1:03:53 Drew And is he going to lick your co-host?

1:03:55 Adam No, he likes the co-host.

1:03:56 Drew And do we call you Mr. Devil?

1:03:59 Caller Just call me Damien.

1:04:01 Drew Damien.

1:04:02 Adam Please.

1:04:02 Drew You got to say one more?

1:04:03 Adam Well, I was going to say this about my man, David Alan Grier. So funny, so talented, so versatile.

1:04:10 Drew If he were here, what would you tell him?

1:04:12 Adam Well, I mean, the kid knows how I feel about him. He's a ball of talent.

1:04:16 Caller I hope there's some hatred in there too, please.

1:04:19 Adam Well, obviously, there's competitive, I have a competitive spirit and, you know, a man after my own heart, envy. And, you know, when Dave comes around, I see him not only as a friend, but as a threat. I mean, he's on media, and as Beelzebub said, or Mr. Devil, or as Damien said, yeah, I think, you know, I think we both have our strengths, you know, for, you know, for me, it's witty, cutting, may the most evil man win. sarcasm, and for him, it's, you know, pretending to beat up black women and then, you know, ejaculate on their back.

1:04:50 Caller How dare you?

1:04:51 Caller My throat is killing me.

1:04:52 Caller I can't be the devil all night.

1:04:54 David Alan Grier That's evil.

1:04:55 Caller Dr. Drew, I can't even be evil and have fun.

1:04:57 Caller What have you done to me? Oh, I'm so healthy. It's disgusting.

1:05:02 Adam This, this is a marathon. It's not a sprint, brother.

1:05:05 Drew Just break back in a song. It'll be fine.

1:05:07 David Alan Grier A little song.

1:05:08 Caller Thank you, Dr. Drew.

1:05:18 Caller Eric?

1:05:20 Caller You mind if I sing the O's of Germany or Florida theme song?

1:05:24 David Alan Grier Oh, okay.

1:05:25 Adam Oh, Germany or Florida?

1:05:26 Drew Yes, of course. No, it's you.

1:05:28 Adam You want you to sing it?

1:05:29 Caller No, I want to sing the O's. All right. Things are sick and twisted from too much on the Nazis. It's like methamphetamine fetishes, both of them have got these. Guaranteed not to bore you, Germany or Florida.

1:05:42 Adam Yeah. That was a wonderful addition. So Eric, that's your song. Are you the...

1:05:45 Drew No, no, it's not him.

1:05:46 Caller Actually, last time I called in 1994, you guys accused me of being Theo. You thought I was the guy who sung the song.

1:05:54 Drew Theo sang it before 1994?

1:05:56 David Alan Grier Did you say 1994 or 2004?

1:05:58 Caller 2004.

1:05:59 Caller Oh, okay.

1:06:02 Adam Well, you're good, Eric, but the best...

1:06:04 Caller That I wasn't Theo.

1:06:05 Adam The best is still Dagg's scat version of Germany or Florida. I'd like to hear that. Could we engineer Anderson, please?

1:06:18 Caller Is it Germany or Florida?

1:06:25 Caller Hey!

1:07:00 Caller As she and her five children were walking stark naked down the street while carrying Bibles, police said. The suspect advised that God told her this morning that she should do this, police said. Police said they received multiple calls, and officers who responded found the subject walking with her five children ranging in the ages of 15 to 5. She was wearing no clothing, and none of her kids were. All were taken to the police headquarters for questioning. The mother was charged with child abuse and exposure of sexual organs. Police said her children were likely to be released to the custody of a relative.

1:07:36 David Alan Grier I'm ready.

1:07:36 Drew Germany or Florida?

1:07:37 Caller Germany or Florida?

1:07:39 David Alan Grier Germany.

1:07:39 Drew Florida.

1:07:41 Adam Wow, it feels Floridian, but Eric's smart.

1:07:45 Drew I'm going Florida.

1:07:46 Adam I'm going with Dag. Always bet on Black. Go ahead, Eric. Germany or Florida?

1:07:51 Caller And I'm sorry, Adam, but it is Florida.

1:07:55 Caller Oh, yeah. Wow. Oh, yeah.

1:07:59 Caller If you were delighted enough with Germany or Florida, I'd like you to consider me to be one of the winners of the party pack. At least put me on hold for the rest of the show.

1:08:06 Adam You know what?

1:08:07 David Alan Grier That's a good point.

1:08:09 Adam You just won yourself a party.

1:08:10 Caller Wait a minute.

1:08:12 Drew Dag's pick.

1:08:12 Caller Oh, my God.

1:08:14 Adam Well, he's a huge Dag fan.

1:08:16 Caller Yeah, I know, but just wait a minute.

1:08:18 David Alan Grier Wait a minute.

1:08:20 Drew We have 40, 44 minutes. But he's not going to be on hold that whole time.

1:08:23 David Alan Grier Oh, yes, he will. He's a dedicated.

1:08:25 Drew Oh, man.

1:08:26 Caller I am out of here.

1:08:27 Adam Let's give. Please. You've been you've been out of here.

1:08:30 Drew Come back tomorrow. You can hand us more.

1:08:31 Caller I'm out of here. I got to perform. Hey, Braya.

1:08:35 David Alan Grier Hey, what's going on?

1:08:36 Adam Yeah. David Alan Grier. Everyone's going to be at the Braya Improv this Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Two shows every night.

1:08:45 David Alan Grier Well, three.

1:08:46 Adam Three on Saturday.

1:08:47 David Alan Grier No, no.

1:08:48 Adam Oh, I see. I see. Wait. Oh, the 10th. I see. I thought it was 10 o'clock show. Yeah, I'm sorry. Two shows and one show on Thursday. And speaking of plugs, my new show on Comedy Central. Too late with Adam Corolla. Dag will be a guest soon.

1:09:02 Drew I will. Oh, you coming up?

1:09:03 David Alan Grier Absolutely.

1:09:03 Adam Yeah.

1:09:04 Caller Absolutely.

1:09:05 Adam Kathy Griffin on tonight. Very funny show. 1130 Comedy Central. Well, Drew, no belching. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:09:21 Caller Loveline, I'll be right back.

1:09:32 Adam Yeah, everybody, it's Loveline.

1:09:34 Caller I'm Adam.

1:09:35 Adam That's Dr. Drew, David Alan Grier in studio tonight.

1:09:40 David Alan Grier Let's take another BDSM call.

1:09:42 Adam Okay, Dave, how are you doing? Doing good?

1:09:45 Caller Master David.

1:09:46 Adam Master David.

1:09:47 David Alan Grier Don't look at me, slave.

1:09:48 Adam Well, I'm-

1:09:49 David Alan Grier Eyes down.

1:09:50 Adam I'm looking at the screen.

1:09:51 David Alan Grier Just turn away from me.

1:09:53 Adam I just-

1:09:53 Caller Palms up.

1:09:54 David Alan Grier In a submissive position.

1:09:56 Caller What are you doing with your clothes on?

1:10:00 Adam I'm telling you, I wouldn't mind a BDSM. Well, he seems to know quite a bit about the topic.

1:10:05 Drew Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

1:10:07 David Alan Grier It's an interest to find.

1:10:08 Adam I would not mind that three days a week.

1:10:11 David Alan Grier I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. You can't be Master David or whatever all the time.

1:10:14 Adam You know, it would get a little old.

1:10:16 David Alan Grier I wasn't Master David on the hillside. I was just a guy with, you know.

1:10:19 Adam Yeah. But Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays. Hey, bitch, give me a beer and start sucking.

1:10:28 Caller Adam for president.

1:10:31 Adam Three days a week. That's all I ask.

1:10:33 David Alan Grier Can I get a poster of that?

1:10:34 Drew Yeah, that'll be, give me a beer and start sucking. That will be the...

1:10:37 Caller Adam Corolla. It's by Gangbusters.

1:10:40 Caller 70% approval rating.

1:10:42 David Alan Grier Every man, every penis in America is for Adam Corolla.

1:10:46 Adam Yeah.

1:10:47 Drew Get me a beer and start...

1:10:49 Adam I say a chicken in every pot, a car in every garage, and a schmutz in every mouth.

1:10:55 Drew Oh, God bless you.

1:10:57 Caller Michelle?

1:10:58 David Alan Grier Hello?

1:10:59 Adam 21?

1:11:00 David Alan Grier Yes.

1:11:01 Adam What's up, baby doll?

1:11:02 David Alan Grier Hey, okay, so earlier this year, I found out I had genital warts.

1:11:09 Drew Fantastic.

1:11:10 David Alan Grier So, you know, I did my thing once upon parenthood, and they removed it with some acid. It's kind of like hell.

1:11:18 Drew Where were they, on the outside of the vagina?

1:11:20 David Alan Grier Yeah, they were like on my taint.

1:11:23 Drew Your taint? Ooh. And did you have anything inside the vagina?

1:11:27 David Alan Grier No. I like had a pap smear, they looked at it, and they said it was a low-risk kind, so it was like only on the outside.

1:11:35 Drew Oh, good. Okay.

1:11:36 Adam Uh-huh. And...

1:11:37 David Alan Grier Q-tip? No, I said it was a Q-tip. No, no.

1:11:40 David Alan Grier No, I didn't hear it after.

1:11:42 Drew Okay. Yeah, it's a Q-tip with a brown solution, right?

1:11:46 David Alan Grier Uh, I don't know.

1:11:48 Drew It's not really that...

1:11:50 Adam Wasn't brown when it went in.

1:11:52 Caller Hey, look out!

1:11:53 Caller Adam for president!

1:11:55 Adam Look out!

1:11:57 Drew It's probably something called podophilin. Which you left it on for like four hours.

1:12:03 David Alan Grier Well, see, like...

1:12:04 Adam Uh-oh.

1:12:05 Drew You left it on too long.

1:12:06 David Alan Grier No, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, I went to Planned Parenthood.

1:12:09 Drew Yeah.

1:12:10 David Alan Grier Like, before I knew it, okay, like, I was on the bed thing.

1:12:15 Drew Yeah.

1:12:15 David Alan Grier And before I knew it, she's like, okay, I'm going to apply this on your award. And so she just did it without really asking me. And, um... But anyway...

1:12:26 Adam Hold on, Michelle, you understand she didn't kick in your bedroom door at four in the morning and wrestle you to the ground. You hauled your slutty ass to Planned Parenthood because you don't have any money.

1:12:35 Caller Yeah, I know, but there was no warning.

1:12:37 Adam All right. Well, why don't you drop the attitude, sweetness?

1:12:41 David Alan Grier Well, there was no warning.

1:12:43 Adam No warning? You walked in the front door of a clinic with warts on your coos.

1:12:48 David Alan Grier Well, with symptoms, yeah, obviously for some reason.

1:12:50 Drew Wait, what did she want her to do?

1:12:52 David Alan Grier Ask her politely.

1:12:53 Adam She thought she was going to draw her bath and light some candles.

1:12:57 David Alan Grier Take her out to dinner?

1:12:58 Adam Yeah, read a Harlequin Romance Tour and then out for a little surf and turf. And then when the time was right.

1:13:06 Drew What did you expect, Michelle?

1:13:08 David Alan Grier What was that?

1:13:09 Drew What did you expect her to do?

1:13:11 David Alan Grier I just wanted her to at least say, I'm going to put some acid on you.

1:13:16 Drew It's not acid. It's a medicine. And if you leave it on too long, it will burn. All right. It's not an acid.

1:13:21 Adam What's wrong with you other than you're calling from Riverside? You're angry, baby. What's going on?

1:13:27 David Alan Grier Nothing, nothing, nothing.

1:13:28 Drew No, please.

1:13:30 Adam Were you kidding? What are you doing?

1:13:32 David Alan Grier I'm sitting in my room.

1:13:33 Adam What's going on with work, school, life?

1:13:37 David Alan Grier I'm trying to find a place to live, but that's not working out.

1:13:41 Adam Why? What's going on?

1:13:42 David Alan Grier For school. Yeah, moving.

1:13:44 Drew For school. Where are you going to school?

1:13:46 David Alan Grier I'm going to go to UC Riverside. All right.

1:13:49 Adam All right. All right. And where are you going to major in?

1:13:53 David Alan Grier Business.

1:13:54 Adam All right.

1:13:54 Caller In wards.

1:13:55 Drew All right. Here's the deal. Did she freeze it with liquid nitrogen or did she put something like a paint something on there?

1:14:01 David Alan Grier It was like she said it was acid. She didn't I forget what it's called. She got, you know, she applied it with the Q-tip. She said it's going to sting like hell for five minutes and then it'll eventually stop. So it wasn't like it had to wash it off. She just applied it and that was it.

1:14:19 David Alan Grier All right, well, does it hurt when they freeze them off?

1:14:22 Adam No, really?

1:14:23 David Alan Grier Well, did it hurt when they froze your oh, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

1:14:26 Adam So Michelle, is my mic on?

1:14:28 David Alan Grier Because they weren't supposed to hear that.

1:14:29 Adam I understand what her question is. She went in. She had warts.

1:14:32 Drew What is your question?

1:14:33 David Alan Grier Okay. So afterwards, you know, the skin, the warts started sort of dissolving and she applied it on the warts and on the area around the warts. And so after like a day or two, all the skin kind of sloughed off. And after that, it was like an open wound, that I'd have to put like, you know, spore on it to help it heal and all that. But it was, it was a really long process. It took me like a month or two before I got fully healed because, you know, it's kind of damp down there. So it took a really long time. But like, about a month or two after that, I tried having sex. And it was just really sensitive down there because it felt like, you know, like I was missing a layer of skin. And so it was just really sensitive. And then when I tried to have sex, the skin would sort of like almost start splitting open again because it was just so thin.

1:15:31 David Alan Grier How long ago was that?

1:15:33 Drew Are you sure you weren't supposed to go ahead?

1:15:35 David Alan Grier Well, how long ago was that?

1:15:36 David Alan Grier Well, I went to Planned Parenthood in May.

1:15:40 David Alan Grier No. How long ago was it when you tried to have sex?

1:15:43 David Alan Grier And it was like a month later, a month, month and a half.

1:15:49 David Alan Grier So how is it now?

1:15:51 David Alan Grier Um, I had sex like last week and it's not as bad. It's not splitting anymore, but it feels really dry. And it feels like, you know, I need to constantly put lotion on it or something.

1:16:03 Drew Are you sure you weren't supposed to wash the stuff off after four or five hours?

1:16:06 David Alan Grier Yeah. Yeah.

1:16:07 David Alan Grier But you're saying it's gotten better, right? You're saying it's gotten better.

1:16:10 Drew It's going to get better. It's going to go all the way to normal. But it still sounds like there's a little bit, a little something.

1:16:14 Adam Well, next time, you know, before you make love, you should, you and your partner should rub some coke on it. Really dend it up a little bit.

1:16:22 David Alan Grier Hello. Thank you.

1:16:24 Adam Yeah. I know Dave, for Dave, it's a no-dub, but a lot of people don't realize you've got to coke up that area before you get busy. Yeah.

1:16:32 Drew Well, so anyway, it sounds like something went wrong with that treatment. It shouldn't be that traumatic to get the warts taken off.

1:16:39 David Alan Grier Also, it's the area that they were. That's kind of sensitive.

1:16:42 Drew Yeah, it's important, though, because I was you.

1:16:44 David Alan Grier I mean, you said it.

1:16:45 Drew He'll spread. It'll spread to the anus. Oh, and that is a risk then for anal cancer.

1:16:49 David Alan Grier And what about, you know, you have to dress that area every day, don't you?

1:16:52 Adam Yeah, I'll tell you, you tell you.

1:16:54 David Alan Grier Talk about your ring of fire.

1:16:55 Adam And I'll tell you, Dave, Dave's pretty sensitive, so I don't even know if we should talk about anal warts. But I got to tell you, if you've ever seen a bad case of anal warts, Dr. Drew, I mean, obviously you have.

1:17:07 Drew Well, I've seen the sort of please stop.

1:17:10 Caller Cauliflower like parents, the custard cauliflower like on the anus, on the anus.

1:17:16 Adam And it's sort of directly on the anus.

1:17:17 Drew It's sort of it blossoms for us like a cumulus cloud.

1:17:21 Adam It actually looks like cauliflower.

1:17:23 Drew Cauliflower, it looks like a broccoli, top of broccoli.

1:17:26 Adam What made it a brocca flower?

1:17:27 Drew Brocca flower.

1:17:27 Adam It's protruding directly from the anus.

1:17:30 Drew Sometimes it pokes out from the anus and looks like it's just stalk of something, a vegetative coming out.

1:17:36 Adam Now if you had anal sex with this person, would you get the warts?

1:17:39 Drew You would get the warts.

1:17:40 Adam You would actually have to move it aside.

1:17:41 Drew But really what will happen eventually is you'll get anal cancer, you have to cut the whole area out.

1:17:46 Adam You have to actually remove the entire anus.

1:17:47 Drew The anus has got to go.

1:17:48 Adam Well, then how do you defecate?

1:17:50 Drew Well, you get a bag, a bag out the side.

1:17:53 Adam Oh, so you have to go into a closet? And then those are changed how often?

1:17:58 Drew Oh, with your case. Could be every couple of hours.

1:18:01 Adam They're filled with fecal matter there, huh? I tried!

1:18:04 Drew Well, actually, it could be sort of stool-like, because it's just the rectum we're cutting out here.

1:18:15 Caller What's that, Dave?

1:18:37 Caller The pressure is killing your pipe, son.

1:18:39 Adam Never gets old.

1:18:41 Caller It never gets old. Oh, what was her question?

1:18:47 Drew Some botanical cancer.

1:18:49 David Alan Grier Her poor boyfriend, whoever she's with.

1:18:52 Adam Corrine?

1:18:53 Caller Yeah.

1:18:54 David Alan Grier Yeah.

1:18:54 Adam 25.

1:18:55 Caller What's up?

1:18:56 Caller It's actually Corrine Corrine.

1:18:58 David Alan Grier I beg your pardon.

1:18:59 Caller Corrine, how are you?

1:19:01 Caller Yeah, I'm 25. I'm actually like driving home right now and I have a question.

1:19:06 Drew It's important for us to know you're driving home.

1:19:08 David Alan Grier Absolutely.

1:19:08 Drew Where are you driving home? What are you driving home from?

1:19:11 Caller I actually just went over to a guy friend's house.

1:19:16 Drew Four? Had sex?

1:19:18 Caller Yeah, exactly. I just had sex with him.

1:19:20 David Alan Grier Actually? Did you actually have sex?

1:19:22 Caller Yes, we actually did twice, but.

1:19:25 Caller Twice?

1:19:27 Caller But the first time that we did it, I have a question because the condom totally came off.

1:19:35 Drew Inside you?

1:19:37 Caller Right. When we were done, he came out. He came inside of me and the condom was still inside of me.

1:19:46 Drew Were we able to get it out?

1:19:47 Caller Sorry about that, buddy. Yeah, we were able to get it out.

1:19:49 Drew We were able to get it out.

1:19:51 Adam Why aren't you sleeping over there? Why are you driving home?

1:19:54 Caller Well, because, you know, I have to work tomorrow.

1:19:55 Drew His girlfriend is coming home.

1:19:57 Caller You got to work tomorrow.

1:19:58 Caller We're just friends, but we're not like close like that.

1:20:01 Drew What kind of work do you do?

1:20:02 Caller I work at a makeup counter.

1:20:05 Adam Oh, so you're hot.

1:20:07 Caller What department store?

1:20:10 Caller Nordstrom.

1:20:11 Caller I'm there. Who's with me?

1:20:13 Adam 9 a.m. Yeah, Dag will be at the brass rail, hold his brass rail.

1:20:18 Caller I'd like some chocolate brown lipstick.

1:20:21 Caller How funny.

1:20:22 Caller Suitable for a man or woman. Is Corinne in? May I speak to Corinne, please?

1:20:29 Drew Are you Glendale Nordstrom?

1:20:31 Caller Excuse me.

1:20:34 Caller Is Corinne in?

1:20:35 Caller I'm sorry.

1:20:36 Drew What's that?

1:20:37 Caller Because I'm on the radio, right?

1:20:39 Caller No, no, maybe you're not on the radio.

1:20:40 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:20:41 Caller All right.

1:20:42 Caller I don't know why people are coming in at me and like, oh, I heard about the condom.

1:20:46 Adam Yeah, no, I understand.

1:20:49 Drew But every makeup counter at every Nordstrom in town.

1:20:51 Caller Wow.

1:20:53 Drew Where's Corinne?

1:20:55 Adam Let me tell you something. There's certain jobs where, like, if you were just blind dating and you heard they had certain jobs, like, I'm a professional figure skater, you'd be like, oh, we're in. And you hear works the makeup counter at a high-end department store, you're in as a guy, right?

1:21:12 Caller Have you ever seen a troll that's like, excuse me, sir?

1:21:16 Caller No, I'm just doing some sad stuff.

1:21:19 Adam You're like, yeah, yeah.

1:21:20 Caller Look at the hump on her.

1:21:21 Adam Give me some kissing potion. She's dragging her leg.

1:21:26 Drew Excuse my stump. My wife buys all that Stila stuff.

1:21:30 Adam Yeah, hot chicks.

1:21:31 Drew Stila.

1:21:32 David Alan Grier She still buys makeup.

1:21:33 Drew And Bobby Brown. Wow.

1:21:34 Adam Now, what kind of deal does this guy have, where he just gets to boink you a couple of times a week, but no boyfriend and girlfriend status? Aren't you into the guy?

1:21:43 Caller Well, I just got up with my boyfriend, like, a month and a half ago.

1:21:48 Drew He's been in the bullpen for a while.

1:21:50 Caller Yeah, that's my question. Do you think that, because I was taking birth control when I was with my boyfriend, and I just stopped taking birth control, like about three or two weeks ago. And so I'm wondering that if I go home and take some of my leftover packs, that it will work like the morning after pill.

1:22:11 Drew What do you want to do?

1:22:13 Caller That's why I wanted to call to see if, like what you have to say about that.

1:22:16 Drew What pill were you taking?

1:22:18 Caller Orthotide cyclin.

1:22:20 Drew Yes, I believe you can. The question is, which one from the pack can you take?

1:22:25 Adam Corinne. Drew's going to look up that information. I would like to find out, I would like to get to the bottom of this relationship. You knew this guy when you had your boyfriend?

1:22:36 Caller I knew him before I had my boyfriend.

1:22:38 Adam Before? You didn't fool around with him while you had your boyfriend?

1:22:44 Caller No, no I didn't.

1:22:45 Adam But you always knew he was ready to go the second you broke up?

1:22:49 Caller Right.

1:22:50 Adam Right.

1:22:51 Caller Of course.

1:22:52 Adam Did you fool around with him before you had your boyfriend?

1:22:55 Caller Yeah.

1:22:56 Adam Oh, okay. And do you like the guy?

1:23:00 Caller He's okay. He's not really my type, but he's fun.

1:23:05 Adam Why is he not your type?

1:23:09 Caller Well, he's really white.

1:23:12 Adam Oh, really?

1:23:13 Caller Like, blinding white. But he's cute. He's sweet, so...

1:23:18 David Alan Grier What do you usually go for?

1:23:20 Caller Well, I don't really have a type, but I guess I just know when I see that person...

1:23:26 David Alan Grier Right, so not his white. You mean you go for more like, you know, a little ghettoed up, like a little thug action, right?

1:23:32 Caller Yo, Corrine, what's up?

1:23:34 David Alan Grier I've been waiting for seven hours, girl.

1:23:35 Caller Come on.

1:23:36 Caller Yeah.

1:23:37 Drew You want a brother?

1:23:38 Caller I love him for everything, but like, when I saw him again tonight, I didn't really feel like I liked him as much as I did when I first met him.

1:23:46 David Alan Grier No, is that after the first time you had sex or the second time?

1:23:50 Caller I really didn't like him.

1:23:52 David Alan Grier The second time the condom stayed inside me.

1:23:56 Drew By the way, it's important to take the condom out because it will cause potentially toxic shock syndrome.

1:24:00 Caller Do you really think she's sitting there with the condom?

1:24:03 Caller It wasn't inside of me, but it was like, the ring was still outside.

1:24:10 Adam Are you going over there again for sex anytime soon?

1:24:14 Caller No, I don't think so. All right.

1:24:16 David Alan Grier Now, why not? You didn't enjoy it?

1:24:18 Caller Well, I feel that a guy should be able to keep a condom on. I don't know.

1:24:23 David Alan Grier Thank you.

1:24:24 Caller I was gonna get to that.

1:24:25 Drew But when guys pull it out... Okay, Corinne, stay with me here. Two things. One is men, when they pull out after a jacket, they need to hold on to the condom. They actually need to grip it because it's slipping out. She's very invested in this subject. Number two, that's very funny.

1:24:40 David Alan Grier Never wear a magnum condom unless you can fill it.

1:24:43 Drew Actually, the magnums are not the big ones. There's something called Magnum XL.

1:24:46 David Alan Grier Oh yeah, you're absolutely right. They have super magnums now.

1:24:49 Drew The magnums are not that much bigger. They're the same at the base as a regular condom.

1:24:55 David Alan Grier I'm agreeing with you. The magnums are old school. Now they have super duper magnums.

1:24:59 Adam No, I know. Believe Dave knows because he spent the entire weekend shoving the regular size Trojan ones into the Magnum XL.

1:25:09 Caller Who took my Glow Consuela?

1:25:11 Drew Okay, wait a minute, Corinne.

1:25:12 Adam Hold on, he just makes that sound. It already opened, but he doesn't...

1:25:17 Caller I'll be right there, baby. It's gonna take a while.

1:25:19 Drew All right, Corinne, here's the deal with the morning after pill, all right? The emergency contraception. Not the morning after pill, the emergency contraception. And then you need to take, you need to look at your pill. And it needs to have either between.5 and.75 milligrams of Levonogestrel. Okay. Which you take now and again 12 hours later. Or 2 milligrams of norethindron.

1:25:40 Adam Dave has a sister named Norethindron.

1:25:41 Drew Yeah, those, and again, it's take a dose of that now and a dose 12 hours later. That's what you need. There can also be the 100 micrograms of ethanol estradiol. Which is.

1:25:50 Caller Ethanol, estradiol.

1:25:53 Drew It's the progesterone, it's the Levonogestrel.

1:25:56 Caller And where is Levonogestrel?

1:25:58 Drew Or the norethindron.

1:26:00 Caller Northindro, put that whiffle ball back down.

1:26:03 Caller Come in the house.

1:26:05 Caller What's y'all behind?

1:26:06 David Alan Grier I'm sick of these kids, man.

1:26:09 Caller Northindro what? What is it? Epinestral?

1:26:13 Adam Drew, what else might I, my tag name is Chris?

1:26:20 Drew Memphis Pristone, Memphis Pristone.

1:26:23 Caller I'm here to pick up Memphis Pristone. Memphis Pristone, Memphis Pristone, Memphis Staphyles, if you don't get into this dodged comet, at the count of three, I will wear your behind out. Get that for real, your sister, please.

1:26:41 Drew Drew, what else you got? Norgestral?

1:26:44 Caller Norgestral! Norgestral!

1:26:47 Caller Did you take my beer can? Norgestral!

1:26:54 Caller One more, Drew, there's one.

1:26:57 Drew Well, Northendrone, that was the original one.

1:26:59 Caller It's gotta be one more, come on.

1:27:01 David Alan Grier Come on.

1:27:02 Caller Oh my God.

1:27:04 Adam Anything, it could be for high blood pressure.

1:27:07 Drew Noliparous.

1:27:08 David Alan Grier Noliparous?

1:27:09 Caller You are my oldest son. I have big... No, Noliparous, please, please. Bring your bicycle in the backyard. Street lights is on. Come on, stop now. Stop, stop playing.

1:27:24 Caller David Alan Grier in the studio tonight.

1:27:28 Adam We'll take a quick break.

1:27:32 Drew We'll be right back after this.

1:27:37 Caller Call 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:27:40 Caller Operators are standing by.

1:27:41 Caller Loveline will be back in a minute.

1:28:00 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, David Alan Grier.

1:28:06 Caller Davey J.

1:28:07 Adam Funniest man on the planet in studio tonight. Oh, making me laugh. Making me laugh.

1:28:14 David Alan Grier And you know, Dr. Drew, the best medicine in the world is what, Adam?

1:28:17 Adam Laughter, my friend.

1:28:18 David Alan Grier Absolutely.

1:28:18 Adam You want to laugh, by the way, you go out to Brea, you go to the improv. You see David Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. One show Thursday, two on the weekends and then one again on Sunday. See David Alan Grier live and in concert at the Brea improv. See me on Too Late with Adam Corolla on Comedy Central.

1:28:40 David Alan Grier And you'll see me there, too.

1:28:42 Adam And Dave will be on the show soon.

1:28:44 David Alan Grier Soon, OK?

1:28:45 Adam Soon. Don't worry about when. Before you. That's when.

1:28:48 David Alan Grier And if I could do really quick, a shout out to Tracy and Tamara and the beautiful OC who found my cell phone. They returned it to me. Two beautiful young women.

1:28:59 Caller Really?

1:28:59 David Alan Grier Yeah. Yeah.

1:29:00 Caller Yeah.

1:29:00 Adam How did that work?

1:29:01 Caller What happened?

1:29:02 David Alan Grier I don't know how they did it. They called.

1:29:04 Adam You lost your cell phone?

1:29:05 David Alan Grier I'll tell you off the air.

1:29:07 Caller Oh, wow.

1:29:08 Adam Score. Holly?

1:29:11 David Alan Grier Yeah.

1:29:12 Adam You're 19?

1:29:13 Caller Yes, I am.

1:29:14 Caller What's up?

1:29:18 Well, I thought I had an allergic reaction to Vicodin.

1:29:24 David Alan Grier I had an abscess tooth in the back of my mouth, and I was taking antibiotics and Vicodin for the pain. I thought it was allergic reaction. I'm not sure what it was, but it only happened after I started taking the pills.

1:29:38 I have this, like, it's like on the side of my breast. It looks like, like, what, like tiny little bug bites, but they're like red and like, it's like.

1:29:49 Drew It's called a nipple. Is it only on one side?

1:29:51 David Alan Grier No, no, it's like next to the nipple too. It actually is under, it's like going, it's like down underneath the breast and on the side, like all over the right side.

1:29:59 Drew Is it one side only?

1:30:00 David Alan Grier Yeah, one side only on the right side.

1:30:02 Drew Shingles, shingles. Does it go around your back a little bit?

1:30:06 Caller It only, it only has, I only have like three spots on my back.

1:30:10 Drew Shingles.

1:30:10 David Alan Grier But what does it feel like?

1:30:11 Drew Does it burn, hurt?

1:30:13 David Alan Grier It hurts.

1:30:14 Drew Shingles.

1:30:14 David Alan Grier It hurts and then it reaches a little bit.

1:30:18 Drew Shingles.

1:30:18 David Alan Grier But I heard shingles, aren't they really painful?

1:30:22 Drew Not in young people. In old people, they're really painful.

1:30:24 David Alan Grier Like didn't Nixon have shingles?

1:30:25 Drew Yeah, in old people, it gets horrible. No, it's shingles. I know.

1:30:30 David Alan Grier Did the drug cause it?

1:30:31 Drew No, it's from being on medicine and having ill. You get stressed basically and you may have been exposed to it.

1:30:37 David Alan Grier So Vicodin caused it.

1:30:38 Drew Not the Vicodin, so much as the antibiotic. It's really just being ill and being exposed. The Vicodin doesn't cause shingles.

1:30:43 Adam What are you supposed to get shingles?

1:30:45 Drew Herpes zoster.

1:30:47 Adam Zoster? That's another good name.

1:30:50 Caller Zoster.

1:30:51 Caller Don't act like you don't hear me.

1:30:53 Caller Zoster.

1:30:54 Caller Don't make me say it again.

1:30:58 Drew That needs to be treated, Holly, because it can get some chronic pain from that. So you want to take either Zovrax or Valtrex or Famvir. You want to talk to the doctor about that?

1:31:06 Caller Famvir.

1:31:08 Caller Famvir.

1:31:08 Drew Well, Valtrex.

1:31:10 Caller Valtrex. If you end there with Famvir, you're both going to get it. Okay? Because I don't have time today.

1:31:18 Adam I'm telling you, all these names work. And you know, here's the deal. I got to be honest with you. The drug companies, sure you could buy ads in magazines, but nothing better than naming kids after your product. Now a lot of these families are poor. They'd be willing to take-

1:31:35 David Alan Grier Superdome. Superdome.

1:31:36 Drew Go down there and do a little-

1:31:39 Adam Good folks from Up John, head down there. They're like, listen, you're pregnant, right, sweetie? 500 bucks, cash on the barrel head. You name the kid Zoverex.

1:31:49 Caller Zoverex. Zoverex.

1:31:53 Caller Don't act like you don't hear me.

1:31:56 Adam Now, before you know it, you have tons of kids running around with your product name on them.

1:32:01 David Alan Grier Genius.

1:32:01 Adam It would work, and look, it would work for Toyota, too.

1:32:04 David Alan Grier Absolutely. Not the same, though. Not the same.

1:32:06 Adam Yeah, but I think you could do like Celica, maybe Camry.

1:32:10 Drew No, not exotic enough.

1:32:11 David Alan Grier I told him not to go out with Celica. He's not listening. He thinks he knows everything. The girl was trouble.

1:32:17 Adam Tundra might work next for the blacks.

1:32:19 Caller Avanti. Mr. Avanti.

1:32:22 Caller He's all fancy.

1:32:24 Adam I'm just saying, we're at the point where boxers are writing Golden Palace on their back when they get into the ring. People are being paid to have their cars wallpapered and stuff. But just naming the kid Pepsi.

1:32:37 Caller Yeah.

1:32:38 Adam You know what I'm saying?

1:32:39 David Alan Grier I say the medical field, really, because they're much more inventive names.

1:32:44 Adam I think a lot of the brothers would do it for free, quite honestly.

1:32:47 David Alan Grier Yeah, because you're not going to find a lot of inventory. Yeah.

1:32:54 Caller Donde esta el Valle Tren? Valle, no, it doesn't sound the same.

1:32:58 Adam Right. No, but I'll tell you, there's a certain flow to the language of the black man that just makes everything work. Yeah. It's beautiful. Drew, write this down.

1:33:07 David Alan Grier Okay.

1:33:08 Adam Okay, because it's going to be huge.

1:33:09 David Alan Grier I'm going to write this down.

1:33:10 Adam We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back. We just took a break. We'll be right back after this.

1:33:16 Caller Alright, guys, here's the deal.

1:33:18 Caller You looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

1:33:21 Adam One call is all you need to make.

1:33:22 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:33:23 Caller 877-889-DATE.

1:33:26 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:33:56 Adam Well, where did the time go?

1:33:59 Caller Flies with Dag.

1:34:00 Adam So funny, so talented.

1:34:02 David Alan Grier Thank you.

1:34:02 Adam So fresh, so feminine.

1:34:03 David Alan Grier Thank you.

1:34:04 Adam Dag, always, always, always, always a delight. David Alan Grier is gonna be at the Brea Improv. This is gonna be Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Four big days. I've seen Dave do stand up. Do not miss him doing his stand up. Two shows on Saturday, Friday and Saturday. One on Thursday, one on Sunday. Brea Improv, this weekend. We'll take a little extendo break. Until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo, baby.

1:34:32 Drew 100 micrograms of ethanol estradiol, which is-

1:34:35 Caller Ethanol, estradiol.

1:34:37 Drew Y'all get in the house. It's the progesterone, it's the levonogestrel.

1:34:41 Caller And where's levonogestrel?

1:34:43 Drew Or the northendron.

1:34:45 Caller Northendron, put that whiffle ball back down. Come in the house.

1:34:50 David Alan Grier Show behind, I'm sick of these kids, man.

1:34:56 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:35:00 Adam The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or the station. The producer for Loveline is Anningold.

1:35:10 Caller Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, September 7, 2005