Episode 1000725102752

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

1:01 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Sexually-oriented content.

1:07 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:08 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline.

1:17 Voiceover With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:21 Best Of Here's to your lucky star.

1:23 Best Of Hey, everybody, it's The Love Line, man.

1:25 Adam That's Dr. Drew.

1:26 Voiceover Oh, no, 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1.

1:29 Drew And by the way, those things weren't on anybody's radar screen when we were growing up.

1:32 Best Of Yeah, Drew and I were just having a conversation while we were taking a wee-wee.

1:37 Best Of After probably nothing.

1:38 Best Of Brian?

1:39 Adam Yeah.

1:40 Best Of You're 19?

1:42 Best Of I am. All right, so you wanna know about furries?

1:45 Best Of Go ahead.

1:47 Adam All right, what do you wanna know?

1:49 Best Of Well, tell us everything.

1:51 Drew Start at the beginning.

1:51 Best Of Give us the bullet point.

1:52 Drew How did you become a furry?

1:54 Best Of Well, I ran into him on the Internet, right? Because I thought he was cool, so I ended up in this chat room online and everyone was furry.

2:04 Best Of All right, don't tell us your personal story. Give us the broad strokes of being a furry.

2:09 Best Of All right, so everyone chooses a character, right? Like an animal of a certain type.

2:16 Drew Is it like, wait a second, is it like Pokemon? We have to pick your character or is it just you make it up?

2:19 Best Of Well, I mean, you make it up. People make up all sorts of crazy stuff.

2:23 Best Of What are the, what are some of the-

2:24 Best Of Crazy? How do you read?

2:25 Best Of Well, now, like, could I say I was a koalipus, part platypus, part koala bear, and I make my own sort of costume?

2:33 Best Of Absolutely. I think weirder stuff than that.

2:35 Drew And what is the goal in making the elaborate costume to be attractive to other furries?

2:40 Best Of I guess that's only part of it.

2:42 Best Of It's sort of two separate groups. There's furries and fursuiters. The fursuiters actually dress up and do the whole thing. And most of them are having sex with each other at the conventions.

2:53 Drew The fursuiters.

2:54 Best Of Right.

2:55 Best Of Do the suits come off?

2:57 Best Of Oh, the suits come off. And you're wondering how you get your dong through the hole.

3:01 Best Of Yeah.

3:02 Best Of Well, they have these things called SPHs. It stands for strategically placed hole. I'm completely serious.

3:10 Best Of Oh, no. You can make that up.

3:12 Best Of In the front and back, which is, you know. Oh.

3:16 Best Of Using the suits.

3:17 Drew So is this a gay or not gay thing?

3:20 Best Of Oh, it's totally gay.

3:22 Drew Oh, it's a gay thing.

3:23 Adam Yeah, it's very gay.

3:24 Best Of All the checks and holds still.

3:26 Best Of Pretty much 95% of the male furries that I know are gay.

3:31 Best Of Yeah. I would hold on to say, Drew, you know what I would go as? I would go as a road sloth, which is road kill meets a sloth.

3:40 Drew I'd just go with an armadillo.

3:41 Best Of I would just fall over and just lie there and sleep the entire time. I'd climb up in the tree and just sleep. I wouldn't mind being an animal not to have sex with, but just one that slept a lot.

3:51 Best Of You know what I mean?

3:52 Best Of That's my fetish. I'm going to lick my genitalia and then I'm going to take about a 22-hour nap, and then I'm going to move around a little, lick a little more, and then take another nap.

4:02 Drew Nice.

4:02 Best Of All right.

4:03 Best Of So are you gay, Brian? I am. All right. And so if you go to a convention, how do you pair up and how do you know what's underneath the costume?

4:17 Drew Are you just attracted to the costume?

4:19 Best Of Yeah. And does it matter?

4:20 Best Of It's a roll or die. I mean, well, I've never fursuited. I've never done that thing.

4:24 Drew But do you think they're just attracted to the costume, or they want to have sex with that costume? That costume turns me on.

4:31 Best Of Animals, you know?

4:33 Drew Do furries prefer oral sex or anal sex?

4:36 Best Of I don't think they have a preference. The more sex, the better.

4:39 Best Of Sex is any kind. And if you went to one of these conventions where you're dressed up and you had these strategically placed holes, might you have sex with somebody and never know who they were?

4:53 Best Of That's entirely possible.

4:55 Drew Is that part of the gig?

4:57 Best Of Like a lot of the suits are pretty unique, you know? So people are identified by their suits.

5:01 Drew Another thing is that you never see them with their head off.

5:03 Best Of Hold on. I just came up with a great idea for a movie. Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, both furries, both banging the bejesus out of each other through the glory hole at the conventions, but working right next to each other in the same office and on longing for love.

5:19 Drew E-mailing.

5:20 Best Of E-mailing each other, never knowing that she's the one I've been banging the bejesus out of through the glory hole in the furry outfit.

5:27 Drew Ah, so romantic.

5:28 Best Of You know what I mean? But meanwhile, they're falling in love and they're actually humping at a romata, you know, but they don't know it.

5:36 Drew I'm just trying to think of what we're going to call this film.

5:38 Best Of Oh, uh, Happy Trail?

5:45 Drew Happy Trail Highlights?

5:46 Best Of Hamster Wheel? I'm going to think about it.

5:49 Drew You've got, you've got tail?

5:50 Best Of You've got tail.

5:51 Drew There it is.

5:52 Best Of That's good.

5:53 Best Of Brian? All right.

5:55 Best Of Sorry.

5:56 Best Of So another thing is that no one uses their real names. So, uh, yeah, I think it could definitely work.

6:01 Best Of And and now you've got tail.

6:03 Best Of You're you're not into dressing up.

6:07 Best Of No, no, I think that's pretty lame.

6:09 Best Of Yeah. But then how does your fetish manifest itself if you don't actually get into the outfit?

6:15 Best Of Well, you know, when I do have sex, it's kind of animalistic, which I think I mean, it's not too freaky, really.

6:21 Drew You know, a lot of people, if it's furries or furries seem like lovable, soft animals, not aggressive.

6:27 Best Of Yeah, you never see squirrels humping.

6:29 Adam Yeah.

6:31 Best Of Yeah, I mean, what, I mean, here's what I'm saying. You know, so you, so plenty of people just get someone in doggy position, go to town. They don't label themselves a furry.

6:41 Drew Do you bring stuffed animals into the action?

6:43 Best Of Well, that's called plushophile. A plushophile is a person that humps stuffed animals. That's real popular.

6:51 Best Of Hold on a second.

6:51 Drew That's like your buddy that...

6:52 Best Of Listen, I'm not, I know. Look, I'm not a religious man. I don't follow, you know, biblical text too much, but it's time for the cleansing.

7:00 Drew You think?

7:00 Best Of Whatever that is.

7:02 Drew Time for the rapture to hit?

7:03 Best Of The rapture. We need to be cleansed. We're now, people are plushophiles.

7:08 Drew Why do the poor Indonesians get it? Why didn't it just, the tsunami hit?

7:11 Best Of It really, this tsunami needs to wash over the Western world. I mean, you know, like I said, I don't agree with everything the terrorists offer, but a couple of points, a couple of points. We are spinning out a little bit over here.

7:23 Adam They may be over doing it the other direction.

7:24 Drew They may be playing tapes of this show. See?

7:26 Best Of See? Yeah.

7:27 Drew Join us.

7:28 Best Of Brian?

7:29 Best Of Yeah.

7:30 Best Of All right. So you're a furry, but you're not a dress furry.

7:34 Best Of Right.

7:35 Best Of And-

7:36 Drew You called it a flushophile?

7:37 Best Of Plushophile.

7:38 Drew Plushophile.

7:39 Best Of Like a plushie, you know, a plush toy. Yeah. Yeah.

7:42 Best Of And so you would have an engage, you would encounter with another furry. And what would make it, how would we know it was furry? Well, how would we know? Like two gay guys having aggressive sex.

7:57 Adam Yeah.

7:57 Best Of You use like a, maybe like a leash and collar.

8:00 Adam That's not furry.

8:01 Drew That's S&M now. Now that's S&M. What does S&M have to do with being a furry?

8:06 Best Of Well, you know, some people wear ears and tail.

8:09 Best Of Oh, really?

8:10 Best Of Yeah.

8:10 Drew I've never worn a tail before.

8:12 Best Of Have you worn a tail?

8:14 Best Of Yes, I have.

8:15 Drew Have you ever pulled a wagon like Cinderella's? Because it's going that direction too. You know what I'm saying?

8:24 Best Of Yeah. You know, if I was gay, I'd just wear a tail all the time and tail up like hot dog from the Archies.

8:32 Drew You present.

8:33 Best Of Meant game on. Tail tucked in meant game off. You know what I mean?

8:38 Drew So recovering.

8:39 Best Of Forget about the bandanas in different colors. No, it'd just be, I'd be cruising the bar. You saw the tail up in the air.

8:46 Drew I'm just saying, I'm imagining what you would be like. The tail would only be down when you were recovering.

8:49 Best Of Yeah, but no, it would depend on how attracted I was to the specific dude, to the certain dude.

8:54 Drew Oh, you'd go up and down as you moved along. I thought you'd just walk through the bar with your tail up.

8:58 Best Of No, no, no. What I would do is, I would have, here's what I would do if I were gayer. I would have a belt and I would have a dog's tail and it would be spring loaded. And when it's just left alone, hands off, it would just be tucked in. Right in between my leg. But I would have a piece of fishing string onto it and I would pull it over my shoulder. And so when it popped up, that meant that it was game on.

9:21 Drew So as you walked by a guy you liked.

9:22 Best Of And when it let go, it snapped back down again.

9:24 Drew So as you walked by a guy you liked, you'd pull it up.

9:26 Best Of I'd pull it up.

9:27 Drew And then it snapped down again.

9:28 Best Of I let it snap if it was a dude that had bad skin or something that wasn't attractive to him.

9:34 Drew It's very interesting.

9:35 Adam Yeah, it's the way I want it.

9:36 Drew Again, I'm interested in what motivates humans. I still don't know what motivates the furry thing. I do know.

9:42 Best Of Well, look, it's mostly gay. Here's the thing. Gay guys interested in pushing the sexual envelope. I would say most part because it's guy on guy. Therefore, guys in charge of guys.

9:55 Drew Game on.

9:56 Best Of Yeah, it's like criminals deciding what to do with a found wallet. What do you think? Think that's going back to the rightful owner? Do you know what I'm saying?

10:04 Drew Yes.

10:04 Best Of Now, look, I know it sounds a gay phobic or a homophobic or whatever. No, I'm not saying that. If you took Drew, who's a man of exquisite passion, and you took me, who's, I'll get a boner for you if we have to, and we're into each other and you said like, I don't know, should we be doing it at work or should we do it in the car? Do you think it would be okay to invite your friend Mark from the School of Counting over at USC? It became a yes to everything all the time.

10:35 Adam Because the woman slows things down.

10:38 Drew I had a long discussion, I did a segment for Discovery Health Channel about attraction stuff. I really got into it with this group of people and I realized that one of the things, never know who ever talks about this, it was kind of interesting, that men are kind of always scanning, always ready, ready, ready, ready. They come across a woman who is sort of available, opens the gate and they have like an arousal moment together, that moment of sort of attraction is really mutual arousal. And if she's at the right, you know, it's just timing for her and she's, you know, happens to be kind of attracted to that guy, but kind of, the gates kind of peek open, the guy's going through.

11:09 Best Of Right.

11:10 Drew So the women really are determining whether things are going to go forward. Most of the time the gates are closed.

11:16 Best Of Yeah.

11:16 Drew And the gates open here and there, because the guys' gates are always open.

11:19 Best Of It's like the Panama Canal. We're a cargo ship and we're trying to get through.

11:24 Drew Right.

11:25 Best Of And if the gates close and we got to just sit there and if you open it, we move forward.

11:29 Drew Right.

11:29 Best Of And eventually we get the other we get around the horn. I don't know.

11:34 Drew The next set of locks.

11:36 Best Of The point is, the point is, is when you got guys humping guys deciding on how often, when and where and what we should do, eventually that leads into furries because they just keep going and they burn out a little bit. You know, what's next? We got to keep going. People keep pushing the envelope. Yeah, they're like, they're like anal test pilots. You know what I mean?

12:00 Drew Yeah.

12:00 Best Of The gays. Write that down, Drew.

12:03 Drew I'll never forget it.

12:04 Best Of Angelique?

12:06 Best Of Yes.

12:06 Best Of You're 20?

12:08 Best Of Yes.

12:09 Best Of What's up?

12:11 Best Of I've been married for almost a year and I just don't like sex and I'm a bitch sometimes. I was just wondering if you could tell me what to do.

12:20 Drew Well, what does that mean?

12:21 Best Of First off, I have trouble believing you're a bitch sometimes.

12:24 Drew What do you mean?

12:25 Best Of I'm a pretty good judge of a person's voice.

12:27 Drew Let's examine what you're talking about here. What do you mean you don't like sex?

12:32 Best Of It's like, when we're doing it, yeah, I like it, it's fine, but I don't like, I always tell him no or I'm not in the mood. I don't know, I just don't want to.

12:43 Drew Do you, have you always been this way?

12:47 Best Of Yeah, I think so, but when we first got together, I was always doing it whatever he wanted because I figured, like after we dated for almost a year, I figured, well, what the hell? We're gonna get married, so why not? So I used to do it all the time.

13:02 Best Of Hold on a second. I don't know, I know I'm on a theme tonight, but everyone's just depressed and like they don't, when you're depressed, I don't like my job, I don't like my partner, I don't like sex. I mean, when you're depressed, you just don't like stuff you're supposed to like. That's how they measure it sometimes, right?

13:20 Drew No, that's right, lack of enjoyment in previously enjoyable activities.

13:23 Best Of Yeah, and she just sounds like a bummer.

13:26 Drew Yeah, and I wonder if there's something sort of more than just depression here.

13:31 Best Of What's up, Angelique?

13:32 Best Of No, I love my husband with all my heart. No, I'm not depressed. I don't think I'm depressed at all. I just don't like it. I mean, when we're doing it, it's good.

13:41 Best Of All right, not interested. What else is going on in your life?

13:45 Drew Have you always been this way with all men?

13:48 Best Of I've only been with my husband and one other guy, and that was one time.

13:53 Best Of And what'd your dad say? And what's up? What else is going on? Do you have kids?

14:00 Best Of No, I want kids really bad, but I know you have to have sex to have kids, but...

14:05 Drew Do you think you're sort of sabotaging this relationship? Is it hard for you to be in a married relationship?

14:12 Best Of Um, I don't think so. I don't know.

14:16 Drew Kind of feels like that.

14:17 Best Of But I always get really mad, like, I mean, I get really mad at him at stupid stuff. Yeah.

14:23 Best Of Well, listen, hold on, Numbskull. This is why you're not supposed to get married at 19 and a half. Because you get mad at stupid stuff. Barely 20 when you got married. You just get mad at stupid stuff when you're 20, male or female.

14:37 Drew What goes through your mind about your husband? What are you generally feeling about him?

14:42 Best Of Oh, I love my husband with all my heart. I really do.

14:46 Drew So what is there to be so mad at then? When he makes you mad, what are you thinking?

14:52 Best Of Just how I always have to clean up after him. He doesn't know how to take out the trash.

15:00 Drew So you don't like being his mom?

15:03 Best Of Oh, and he calls me. He's like, you're not my mom. When he says that, I want to punch him.

15:10 Best Of I can tell there's great love, though.

15:11 Yeah, wonderful.

15:13 Best Of What does he do? Does he work?

15:16 Best Of Oh, yeah, he works real hard. He works hard, yeah.

15:18 Drew Is he too nice a guy?

15:22 Best Of He might be. He is really sweet. Like, whenever we get notified or whatever, he'll just... He's really, really quiet, too.

15:29 Best Of So whenever we get notified...

15:31 Drew This sounds like you're running roughshod. The guy that you need to sabotage, because he is nice. It is a very...

15:34 Best Of You gotta wake him up.

15:35 Drew Yeah, you need a guy that's chaotic and dangerous and all this stuff.

15:39 Best Of Like dear old dad.

15:41 Drew Yep.

15:42 Best Of Where's your dad?

15:44 Best Of He's probably in bed with my mom right now.

15:47 Best Of Yeah? Was he a loudmouth? Was he volatile? Was he an alcoholic?

15:51 Best Of No, no, no, no. My mom and dad are ordained ministers.

15:54 Best Of Oh.

15:57 Best Of So you're a wild child.

15:58 Best Of Oh, I was really wild whenever I was growing up.

16:01 Drew Were they... Did they sort of punish you with their stuff?

16:06 Best Of With their God?

16:07 Drew Well, what they're punishing with their sort of demands, let's put it that way.

16:12 Best Of With their what? I'm sorry?

16:13 Drew Demands upon you. Did you feel like there was sort of...

16:15 Best Of Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

16:17 Drew Did they become ordained ministers in response to something? Like were they drug addicts at one time or something?

16:22 Best Of No, they got married and they just decided to do it mutually like when I was a baby.

16:31 Drew Because why?

16:32 Best Of Yeah.

16:33 Best Of I don't know. They just found God and...

16:36 Drew Finding God and becoming ministers are two different things.

16:38 Best Of Well, even finding God is an adult... Here's the thing about... Okay, let me explain God to everybody. A doesn't exist. So the only way you can believe in them is like you believe in Santa Claus and Easter Bunny and stuff like that. Someone has to feed you a steady diet of it when your brain is soft and it has to get in. If you don't get that, and you're just a right- thinking atheist, and all of a sudden you're 25 and you find God, it usually means the cops found you or you found methadone or heroin or something. You found something and now you find God. Because it's a weird thing. It's like playing the harp, like picking up the harp at 30.

17:15 Drew But then I think I'm going to become minister and me and my wife are going to become evangelists.

17:20 Best Of No, unless your parents are both black athletes, in which case it's acceptable because we retire from the NFL.

17:27 Drew Both the husband and the wife.

17:28 Best Of She could have played some ball. Yeah. That means something bad. You know what it means to me when you become minister, and I know I sound horrible, but it means you're scared of something that's in you and you're trying to contain it. I'm scared I'm a pedophile. I'm scared I'm lazy. I'm scared I've abused substances or abused kids or abused my kids. I'm going to become this and contain this, and I'm going to read from the Bible three hours a day and try to contain myself.

17:56 Drew Does that sound familiar?

17:58 Best Of My parents? I don't really know a lot about my dad's parents.

18:04 Best Of All right. You see how the show stops whenever we talk.

18:07 Drew I know, but she's going to tell us about her mom. She's going to tell us.

18:09 Best Of Well, when?

18:10 Drew Right now. Here we go. And your mom?

18:13 Best Of My mom. She's been married three times to my dad.

18:22 Best Of Three times what?

18:24 Best Of She's been married three times for my dad.

18:27 Best Of Before your dad?

18:28 Drew Before dad is number four.

18:30 Best Of Yeah.

18:31 Best Of All right.

18:31 Drew So she's bipolar or something.

18:34 Best Of Look at this guy's number one for you.

18:36 Drew Wait a minute. So what's up with your mom's past? What else did you find out?

18:42 Best Of She has three older brothers, all by different dads. And I know that, well, I don't know. She told me and my brother told me that, like, I guess her first husband beat her real bad.

18:57 Best Of Yeah.

18:57 Drew There we go.

18:58 Best Of Yeah.

18:59 Drew It's starting to come to focus now.

19:00 Best Of Everything's a mess. Angelique.

19:02 Adam Yeah.

19:03 Best Of This guy isn't chaotic enough for you. You're freaking out. You got to get some therapy. You're going to destroy this relationship.

19:09 Drew You could respond to therapy, Angelique, if you take advantage of it. Get a therapist.

19:11 Best Of You say you love him with all your heart. Why don't you go do some abotigism therapy?

19:16 Drew You can't tolerate relationship. Closeness is very threatening to you.

19:18 Best Of Or break it off or do nothing.

19:19 Drew Yeah.

19:20 Best Of I don't care.

19:22 Drew Here's what I like. I love when people call our show and go, well, I don't know. That's cool. I love that.

19:31 Best Of Well, look, she's nervous. It's late night. She's in Oklahoma. She's having a butt. But yeah, mom and dad are nuts. At least mom is nuts.

19:39 Drew Yeah.

19:40 Best Of And by the way, been married four times. She's married at 20. I just start calling the guy number one.

19:47 Best Of I wouldn't even call him husband anymore.

19:48 Drew I thought you said call her dad number one.

19:49 Best Of No.

19:50 Drew Call her current husband, husband number one.

19:52 Best Of Just call him number one.

19:53 Drew Because she's working on it. Yeah.

19:55 Best Of Oh yeah. Listen.

19:56 Drew Angelique, this is number one for you. I guess you're planning on three more.

20:00 Best Of Well, this is how it works. You get some therapy, otherwise, you're bound to repeat the mistakes your parents made. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

20:11 Best Of Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline in just a minute or two. Call 1-800-LOVE-191.

20:19 Best Of Ready for something new? Try Durex tingling condoms. There's sex and then there's Durex. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline.

20:36 Best Of Oh yeah, I'm Adam.

20:38 Best Of That's Dr. Drew. What is it, Memorial Day?

20:41 Drew Yeah, that's what it is.

20:42 Best Of Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Everyone, give thanks to those veterans that made this country the best in the world. Oh yes.

20:52 Drew By learning something about those wars that they fought in. Isn't that what we've established tonight?

20:58 Best Of Could you chicks learn one plane from World War II? One plane.

21:02 Drew Or one battle? Or just adding the axis in the allied force?

21:05 Best Of Let me just try something. Jennifer.

21:10 Best Of Yes?

21:10 Best Of Jennifer, you're 20?

21:11 Best Of Yes.

21:12 Best Of One airplane used in World War II.

21:16 Best Of I have no idea.

21:17 Best Of All right.

21:19 Best Of There's like 30 to choose from. There's some famous ones.

21:23 Best Of Talk to Mindy. Mindy.

21:26 Best Of Yeah?

21:26 Best Of One airplane used in World War II.

21:33 Best Of I know what it looks like.

21:35 Best Of I can't remember the name.

21:36 Best Of It's got the wings and the propeller.

21:38 Best Of Yeah. All right.

21:40 Best Of Hold on.

21:41 Best Of All right.

21:42 Best Of Is Jamie a dude? Jamie?

21:44 Yes?

21:45 Best Of One airplane from World War II.

21:47 Best Of DC-10?

21:49 Best Of No.

21:49 Drew Close.

21:49 Best Of Not even.

21:50 Best Of No.

21:51 Drew Well, not DC-10, but.

21:52 Best Of No.

21:53 Drew It was a DC plane.

21:53 Best Of Look, you were closest and the actual words came out of your mouth. A plane that was invented 30 years later. But that's fine. And it didn't see any action. You know, maybe it's a maybe it's a transport plane, you know, 20 years later. Gina?

22:10 Best Of Yes.

22:10 Best Of One plane from World War II.

22:14 Best Of I'm sorry, history really wasn't my s-

22:16 Best Of All right.

22:17 Best Of This is my point, everybody.

22:19 Drew There's one male up there. Want to ask him to see if he can come up with it?

22:21 Best Of Well, he's 18 and he's calling from Bakersfield.

22:26 Drew If he knows it, that would prove a point.

22:29 Best Of Okay.

22:29 Drew It would make a huge point.

22:31 Best Of Okay.

22:32 Best Of Jeff?

22:33 Best Of Yeah.

22:34 Best Of One plane from World War II.

22:37 Best Of J-U-8-8 and a hurricane.

22:40 Best Of All right.

22:42 Best Of Thank you.

22:43 Best Of Oh, my God.

22:44 Best Of He's from Bakersfield. So there's obviously some form of mental retardation. He's younger than anybody else we've spoken to. And he called two planes. He called a German plane and an English plane, I believe.

23:00 Best Of Wait a minute.

23:02 Best Of Jeff, what do you know so much about World War II aircraft for?

23:05 Best Of Actually, right now, I'm reading a book. Roald Dahl wrote it.

23:09 It's about his wife and the RAF. And he talks a lot about them.

23:15 Best Of All right.

23:16 Best Of One's a German, one's an English plane.

23:18 Yeah, it was in the War of Greece, I believe.

23:21 Best Of All right.

23:22 Drew Interesting.

23:23 Best Of Do you see that? Do you see? By the way, ladies, you know when you guys complain, oh, we get paid 75 cents to your dollar? I'm pissed about that. That ain't enough. I want a buck 25 to your 75 cents. Or maybe we'll just lower yours down to 50. What is it, Drew, what has gone wrong with our educational system? The chicks know nothing about any war of any kind.

23:48 Drew They're not interested in war.

23:50 Best Of Okay.

23:50 Drew They're wired differently.

23:52 Best Of Who is interested in calculus or statistics or chemistry? Is anyone interested in anything? No, you go to school, you sit there, you absorb a little information.

24:01 Drew No, people are interested in stuff.

24:03 Best Of No, nobody in high school wants to take a calculus, a trig or anything. You're nerd ball friends, maybe, but nobody actually enjoys that crap. So hobby, no one practices it outside of high school. It's not like, oh, I got my trig book. So I'm set for the summer. I'm just going to be reading this on the beach. No one's interested. No, you go there, you absorb. Why can't we wedge a little war information to a woman's brain? What goes on with that brain of theirs?

24:32 Drew Maybe we could take a page from their brain and learn something. We not have wars.

24:37 Best Of Oh, true. So heavy.

24:40 Best Of Who are we talking to?

24:41 Drew Jamie still in Gush.

24:42 Best Of Joan Baez.

24:43 Drew Jamie the Gusher.

24:44 Best Of Jamie the Gusher.

24:45 Best Of That's right.

24:46 Drew I just instinctively think that whatever a female brain does, it's got to be better.

24:50 Best Of They don't know anything about war. Jamie?

24:52 Best Of Yes.

24:53 Drew All right. So you, Jamie Gush is on command.

24:56 Best Of Yes.

24:57 Drew Okay. How does, how do you do that?

25:00 Best Of Um, like, there's two different muscles for me. And one kind of feels like it's in my stomach. And the other one is like the normal one on the, on the bottom by the lips. But when I press like up here by my stomach, it, it comes out.

25:17 Drew You actually press with your hand?

25:19 Best Of No. I mean, press with my stomach muscles.

25:22 Drew Something comes out there.

25:23 Best Of Yeah. And it's not like a little and it's not like once. It's four or five times and it's a lot. We've had it, um, me and my boyfriend, um, are in his suburban, we've had to rip the carpet out.

25:36 Best Of It's that bad.

25:38 Best Of I mean, the back is just totally flooded. And we've had to rip the carpet out and redo the carpeting in it.

25:43 Best Of How about you kids get an apartment?

25:46 Best Of Um, actually he's married. So that's like our only.

25:51 Drew Oh, that's the only thing. Except for that, everything's great, Adam. How dare you?

25:54 Best Of Pardon me. I didn't mean to offend your delicate sense of it.

25:57 Drew I mean, everything's great with this relationship. And we'll just get rid of the wife and it'll be fine.

26:01 Best Of Got to sleep in, in, not, not in his suburban, but their suburban.

26:06 Drew Yeah.

26:06 Best Of The one, she drives the kids to school.

26:08 Drew The kids to school, right, right.

26:09 Best Of Yeah, you better rip that carpet out by the way.

26:11 Drew That's not so good. How old is your boyfriend?

26:14 Best Of 32.

26:15 Drew Oh, yeah. This guy's all class.

26:17 Best Of I can see his wife like the next day.

26:19 Best Of Honey, I found a mound of kitty litter in the back of the suburban.

26:25 Best Of What?

26:26 Best Of Yeah. The sack busted open.

26:30 Best Of We don't have a cat.

26:33 Best Of We're the allied powers of the world. Oh, what a class act, Jamie. Do you work with this guy?

26:42 Best Of No, actually we have a race team and so we go out and I met him there and he started dating me and six months later, I found out he was still married.

26:57 Drew And you have no, you don't have any guilt about this?

27:02 Best Of No, I hate her. She's dumb. I mean, she, she knows.

27:04 Drew She's your best friend.

27:07 Adam She's your best friend, right?

27:08 Best Of I mean, I've been around for two years. We go out and we're alone all the time. Whenever we're sitting at his house, I'm sitting next to him. She's not. I mean, it's, it's so obvious.

27:18 Drew Guess what? There's something about, something about a friend is you trust them. That's part of building a friendship. It's part of allowing a friendship to develop. You have a trust in that person.

27:28 Best Of Yeah, but I'm just friends with her. So like we can get along and she'll keep me, she'll let me be around.

27:33 Drew You're just, Jamie, let's, let's be clear. You're just a despicable person then.

27:38 Best Of Oh, pretty much.

27:39 Drew Yeah. Okay. All right. Well.

27:41 Best Of Well, it's always been, I've always been curious about how bad people sort of function in their own, and think about their own skin. You just think you just think yourself as a bad person.

27:51 Best Of Do I think of myself as a bad person?

27:53 Best Of Yeah.

27:56 Best Of In ways. Yes, I do. And that's okay. I mean, no, it's not, it sucks. And we talk about it a lot. And actually we got into a fight last night and I was going to leave, but I don't know, the sex is good.

28:07 Best Of Sit around and ruin the floor mats of the Suburban.

28:10 Best Of Yeah, it's great.

28:14 Best Of What kind of racing does this guy do? Formula One? I can see you guys at Monte Carlo right now.

28:20 Best Of It's a late model. It's a Ford, oh gosh, I didn't...

28:25 Drew Is it a Fairlane?

28:26 Best Of No.

28:27 Best Of Is this dirt track?

28:28 Drew Comet?

28:29 Best Of It's round track.

28:31 Best Of It's round track. Is there dirt on?

28:32 It's a Ford Taurus.

28:34 Best Of Ford Taurus.

28:35 Best Of Ford Taurus late model. I think it was a 2000.

28:38 Best Of Yeah. It's not even really stock car.

28:40 Adam This is just...

28:43 Best Of Is there dirt on the track? Demolition derby?

28:44 Best Of No, it's paved. It's a paved half track. I actually met him there. I was doing some other stuff down there and I met him and he was actually in a different class and we moved up together and I spot for him. And we've taken our engine out. So, I mean, all year this year, I can pretty much do anything under a hood.

29:06 Best Of All right. All right.

29:10 Best Of What kind of engine are you running in that Taurus?

29:12 Best Of Chevy 350.

29:14 Drew And a Ford.

29:15 Best Of And a Ford?

29:16 Best Of Yeah. Well, the body is a Ford. Everything else is a Chevy. We have a Chevy Grand, a Chevy engine, a Camaro clip.

29:25 Best Of All right.

29:26 Best Of All right. So, Jamie, aren't you... By the way, does this guy have kids?

29:31 Best Of Yes, he has two. I didn't know about them either before. And actually, I love his older son. His younger son's more of a mama's boy. And his older son loves me to death.

29:42 Best Of Well, that's fantastic. You guys are just a few years apart, huh?

29:48 Best Of Yeah, we're a few. We're as long apart as me and his younger son. We're 11 years apart. So his son's 11 years younger than me.

29:58 Drew Yeah, but your older son, his older son, how old is he?

30:00 Best Of Nine.

30:02 Drew Older son's nine. Okay.

30:03 Best Of Yes.

30:03 Drew Okay.

30:04 Best Of All right. So anyway, homewrecker, how about you find yourself a real man, get a guy and get a relationship?

30:12 Best Of I don't know if I'm stuck on this one and I'm hell bent to see this one through.

30:17 Drew Oh, boy, it's going to be a disaster.

30:18 Best Of Yeah, it's already been quite a disaster, but something something just wants me to stay.

30:24 Drew Well, it must have been a horrible disaster you came from in your own home. Yeah. Your family of origin.

30:30 Best Of My parents have been together since high school. I mean, they're high school sweethearts. And the only thing bad is my dad's been sick my whole life.

30:38 Drew What's he got?

30:40 Best Of Kidney failure. He had two different kidney surgeries.

30:45 Drew From what? What was his failure due to?

30:48 Best Of He got it when he was born. It was a hereditary disease.

30:52 Drew Polycystic kidney? Yeah. Are you worried about that?

30:57 Best Of Yeah, because he's dying right now.

30:59 Drew No, but I mean, it's a...

31:01 Best Of Yourself, yeah.

31:02 Drew It can be passed along.

31:04 Best Of Actually, I'm adopted. I don't know if I...

31:08 Drew How old were you when you were...

31:09 Best Of Here we go.

31:10 Drew How old were you when you were adopted?

31:11 Best Of A baby.

31:12 Best Of How old?

31:15 Best Of Six months, maybe.

31:16 Drew Yeah, so God knows what she was exposed to in those six months.

31:19 Best Of Listen, we all lay on our feet. Everything happens for a reason, Chami.

31:22 Best Of Hey, I thought this was about my gushing. I mean...

31:25 Drew It was. You got to know some other interesting things, too.

31:28 Best Of So now you're a bad person.

31:31 Drew All right.

31:31 Best Of So go ahead. Now here's the thing, everybody.

31:34 Drew Part of the thing about that early abuse can be a lack of capacity for empathy. We other people don't really exist in an empathic way.

31:41 Best Of Let me explain what makes you a bad person. Not what's in your heart. It's what you do. It's your actions.

31:48 Drew And how you do it, right? No, it's only here about what you do to other people.

31:53 Best Of Now here's here's what I've had an ass full of in the society. This guy's a really good guy, but he fills in fill in the blank, beats his kids, murders, prostitutes, does whatever, but in his heart, you know what I mean? If you know him, you know him, you love him. It's just the booze. He gets high and he starts killing hookers. You know, look, I hear for me, it's the opposite. Whatever you do, that's what kind of person you are, not what's in your heart. I don't give a rat's ass about what's in your heart. If you're cheating on it with a guy who has a couple of, couple of a wife and a couple of kids and all this, you're not a good person. He's not a good person. You can't be the world's greatest person and do horrible things. In that case, speaking of World War II, maybe Hitler was a great guy.

32:41 Drew Yeah.

32:41 Best Of Oh, he's a great guy. Oh, don't, don't, no.

32:43 Drew Don't judge him by his actions, how dare you?

32:45 Best Of That's his work. Don't judge him by his work.

32:47 Adam When he got home, you knew him.

32:49 Best Of I was vegetarian. He loved animals and the outdoors. Kiss my ass. You are you are defined by your actions. And conversely, you could be the world's worst person that does the world's greatest things. And I will label you good guy. You see what I'm saying? I don't care if your heart is as black as coal. If you're if you spend every weekend down at the orphanage donating playing the acoustic guitar for the kids with the bald heads, you're a good guy. I don't care what you feel like in your heart. You have too many people that feel too goddamn good about themselves and they're horrible people. If you do bad things, you're a bad person. End of discussion. I don't care that it's you. I don't care that you feel great in your heart of hearts or way down deep anywhere. You're an a-hole.

33:35 Drew Many a-holes that don't realize it that way.

33:37 Best Of But put that pressure on yourself. If you're cheating, if you're stealing, if you're ripping off money, if you're cheating a spouse, you're cheating on your spouse, you're doing whatever, you're a bad person.

33:45 Drew Cheers. Quickly, Noel knows why women don't know anything about World War II, Line 5.

33:50 Best Of No, it's going to be disappointing.

33:52 Drew Noel?

33:53 Best Of Hi.

33:54 Best Of You're 28?

33:55 Best Of I'm 28.

33:56 Best Of Why do women know nothing about wars?

33:59 Best Of Well, because since the beginning in elementary school, politics have been fabricated. So we choose not to.

34:07 Drew Fabricated?

34:09 Best Of Fabricated. For instance, Thanksgiving, the Pilgrims and the Indians.

34:13 Drew Noel, Noel, Axis powers or allied forces? Who is in each?

34:18 Best Of Excuse me?

34:19 Drew The facts, just the facts. Who are the allied?

34:21 Best Of We don't need any of your crappy flower power rhetoric.

34:24 Drew No interpretation.

34:25 Best Of Just tell us why chicks don't know anything about wars.

34:27 Drew Just the facts. Can you tell us who is in the Axis and who are in the allied powers? No. Just the facts. Okay. That's just the point.

34:33 Best Of All right. You go try home some tofu, would you?

34:36 Best Of Okay.

34:37 Best Of And listen, I know you worry about the man and how he's poisoning the land and all that kind of stuff.

34:44 Best Of I don't worry about it.

34:46 Best Of You don't.

34:47 Drew He's poisoning the mines.

34:48 Best Of You don't like the man though, right?

34:50 Best Of Don't like the man.

34:51 Best Of I know. But just wait till you get something. You're going to need the man one day.

34:56 Best Of Okay.

34:57 Best Of The problem.

34:57 Drew When you have a problem with a disease or something.

34:58 Best Of Wait till you get that hepatitis C and you need your interferon. Wait till you get the HIV. Wait till you get cancer. Wait till you get something. Then you come kissing the man's ass. Until then, you just live in your fairy tale where you drink your green tea and it cures everything because you have nothing. Wait till you get something and then it's time to kiss the man's ass. All right?

35:18 Best Of Well, that still doesn't mean that it's not fabricated.

35:23 Best Of Women don't know anything about war because it didn't happen or because the man put a spin on World War II or what happened?

35:31 Best Of Because men have been lying since the beginning of time.

35:35 Best Of About what? Like, what didn't happen in World War II that we need to know about? Please educate us.

35:42 Best Of I'm not talking about World War II. I'm not talking about World War II. I'm talking about the beginning of time, history since the beginning of time.

35:50 Best Of Yeah, but by the way, no, believe me, I know you're tight. My mom is one of your type. You just go around spouting your isms. You never can back it up and you just walk around miserable. And if you could actually defend any of your posturing, it would be awesome, but you have no defense. You can never back it up with anything.

36:09 Drew Well, there's no doubt that mankind has mythologized history, particularly violence. We do that. And naturally we do that. It seems to be in us. So yes, we do that, we do that.

36:19 Best Of Now, she's not so.

36:21 Best Of And by the way, could we be any further away from an answer?

36:25 Drew No, with that.

36:26 Best Of Any anything less satisfying in the answer department?

36:29 Drew A rule of thumb for our screeners, when somebody says, I know the reason that Phil LaBlague.

36:32 Adam Ask them why, because they never know.

36:35 Best Of What was her answer? Here's what the screen says, knows why girls don't know anything about WW2.

36:44 Best Of Since the dawn of civilization.

36:46 Drew We need a break.

36:47 Best Of The man has been lying to the children and to nature. And to sheep.

36:54 Best Of What the F is she talking about?

36:57 Best Of All right.

36:58 Best Of Oh, you all disgust me. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

37:04 Best Of Thank you for calling Loveline.

37:05 Best Of Your call will be answered in the order it seems interesting.

37:19 Best Of Yeah, I'm telling you, it's like big country.

37:23 Drew His intros sound retro.

37:25 Best Of What band is that?

37:27 Drew The Killers.

37:28 Best Of Ah, The Killers. I like that song. They were in here recently, weren't they? Yeah.

37:33 Best Of Yeah. Yes.

37:34 Adam They had good times. All right, let's keep rocking.

37:36 Best Of What's the difference between a magpie and a crow? Chris gonna hop right on it? What do you got, buddy?

37:42 Drew I'm gonna get on it.

37:44 Best Of OK.

37:45 Best Of Anderson, figure that out, would you, buddy?

37:48 Drew As it stands, it looks to us like the magpie lives in England.

37:51 Adam And the crow's out here.

37:52 Drew Yeah. But then again, all we have is UK info.

37:55 Best Of Drew, you remember when they laughed at me when I talked about my cancer and venereal sniffing dogs?

38:00 Drew No, no one's laughing now.

38:01 Best Of They ain't laughing so hard anymore, are they?

38:03 Drew That's right.

38:04 Best Of Jerry?

38:05 Best Of Yeah.

38:06 Best Of One day when my tacro units hit the streets.

38:12 Adam Jerry?

38:14 Best Of Yeah.

38:14 Best Of Your girlfriend squirts when she has an orgasm?

38:17 Best Of Yeah. Real quick, Adam, magpies, black and white.

38:21 Drew Yeah, we saw that.

38:23 Best Of All right. What's the beat color on the magpie?

38:27 Best Of Black.

38:28 Best Of Black.

38:29 Best Of But Heckel and Jekyll, the two magpies in the old cartoons, they had an orange beak.

38:34 Best Of Yeah. I don't know what to tell you.

38:36 Best Of Hey, Drew, remember when we did Vibe or whatever and Sinbad was hosting?

38:42 Best Of Yeah.

38:43 Best Of We're going to find out. Chris, find out what happened to Sinbad too. Anyway, he was hosting and he was like, man, you guys are totally different. You're like Heckel and Jekyll. And it was funny because he's talking about two identical birds. I think he meant Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Heckel.

39:04 Adam I think that's probably right.

39:05 Best Of But he ended up with ironically two twin cartoon birds.

39:09 Adam All right.

39:10 Drew Nice.

39:10 Best Of Go ahead, Jerry.

39:13 Best Of Yeah.

39:14 Best Of Jerry?

39:14 Adam Go ahead.

39:15 Drew What's up?

39:16 Best Of So yeah, whenever me and my girlfriend are having sex, you know, she comes and she squirts. And I've heard you guys talk about this before and it's not peace. I want to know what the fluid is.

39:28 Drew It's from the multiple glands in that area, just like you have a prostate that produce fluids. The women have glands there that can produce stuff too.

39:35 Best Of Mm hmm. You dig in it?

39:38 Best Of Yeah.

39:39 Best Of It's your scene.

39:40 Drew Yeah.

39:40 Best Of All right.

39:41 Drew Every time does she do this?

39:43 Best Of Yeah, every time.

39:44 Drew Wow.

39:45 Best Of Every time she comes. I mean, yeah.

39:47 Best Of Talk about satisfying. That's something.

39:51 Best Of Every time she comes, though, I look around and she's got an asthma mason jar.

39:56 Best Of Oh, but yeah.

39:58 Drew They got us.

39:59 Best Of Focus call. Good job, Jerry.

40:02 Best Of Yeah.

40:03 Best Of Thanks for bringing back the A-hole, the size of the mason jar. Yeah.

40:07 Best Of Shout out to Loveline Companion.

40:09 Best Of All right. Thanks, buddy.

40:10 Best Of See ya.

40:12 Best Of I listened. For those of you who don't aren't young enough to remember, the oldest Loveline bogus thing would finish with A-hole, the size of a mason jar. And I guess Drew now tells me it's something I started.

40:28 Drew Yes. You said something about it.

40:30 Best Of That somebody picked up.

40:31 Drew Right.

40:31 Best Of It's funny. I always liked it. And I was like, I never liked the bogus part of it. But I gotta give him credit for the A-hole size of mason jar. And then I realized the reason I like it is because I thought of it.

40:41 Drew Now, the way to do it is to really savor it. Really hang us out to dry a little bit and then drop the mason jar.

40:49 Best Of Yeah. And then there's a guy out in Arizona that started it. Yeah. I don't know where he was. Hopefully dead or in jail. Possibly both. Yeah. But I remember seeing him when I went out to Arizona to do some scary driving. Hockey jersey.

41:04 Best Of Goofball.

41:06 Best Of All right. You ready to rock?

41:07 Drew Here we go.

41:07 Adam Let's talk to Nick.

41:10 Best Of Nick. Oh, you have something on crows?

41:13 Best Of Crows, magpies and ravens.

41:15 Drew All right.

41:15 Best Of Let's hear it, buddy.

41:16 Best Of Okay. They're all from the same family, corvus. The only difference is that magpies actually pica pica, which is essentially the same. They're all corvus. But crows actually hoard nuts and food. Whereas magpies will just eat it. Ravens are scavengers. They've got different sorts of wing structures, so they're able to ride thermals.

41:39 Best Of Now, who does the thermal riding?

41:41 Best Of Ravens.

41:42 Best Of Ravens. I think I have those around my house. Me too. I wonder if I could use attack ravens. I think I could work those too.

41:49 Best Of Well, they're protected species, so you couldn't keep them in your home. All corvus are protected.

41:53 Best Of Oh, crows are protected?

41:55 Drew Yeah, it's one of the things they're saying. They used to be open season on them, and so farmers and things would kill them.

41:59 Best Of All right, but enough's enough. I got a million of those things buzzing around my house every day.

42:03 Best Of The thing is, you can actually train them. You're not supposed to. It's illegal. But hey, you do have the ability to train them. Crows can actually speak. What? The ability to hoard. They can use nuts as currency. You've got crows that are high Don Corleone's of the crow world.

42:19 Best Of Wow.

42:20 Best Of So let me get this straight. The crows go out and collect nuts or whatever they want. And then they would use that as a form of currency. For what? Prostitution. To hang other crows.

42:35 Drew Yeah, yeah, of course.

42:36 Best Of How about a beak job?

42:37 Drew The oldest job, Adam.

42:39 Best Of Profession. No, they just use it among themselves, among other corvus.

42:44 Best Of Right, but what do they use it for?

42:46 Best Of It's to pay off to watch the horde, to find food, to essentially find new breeding grounds.

42:53 Best Of So, one crow would give another crow a nut to go do something?

42:59 Best Of Essentially, more of a permission to find out where the horde is, or because since they have a language of their own, they have words for man, they have words, or rather they have cause for man, cause for car, cause for what they request.

43:12 Drew Oh, now we have to train one of these. Now I'm totally into this.

43:15 Best Of They talk. I mean, I can hear them all, I can hear them yelling at each other all day long.

43:20 Adam They make that weird, that weird, They do that one, and then they just do the weird caw.

43:25 Best Of Right, they caw, caw.

43:26 Best Of Yeah, yeah, I've heard them. That's awesome. You can. Hey, hold on, Nick, do you do any other birds?

43:34 Best Of Let's think of one.

43:35 Best Of Drew does fish. Drew, do your mag, do your walleye.

43:39 Drew I would do a grouper.

43:40 Best Of Do grouper. Yeah. Drew does a grouper. Drew does an amberjack. Go ahead, do that one, Drew. Nice. Nice, buddy. And this last, last but not least, do your fly under call.

43:56 Adam Awesome.

43:57 Best Of That's awesome. Skipjack.

43:59 Adam Skipjack.

44:00 Best Of Do skipjack.

44:01 Adam I'll do it again. I love that one.

44:03 Best Of That's my favorite one.

44:04 Adam All right.

44:05 Best Of Now do a drunk skipjack.

44:07 Best Of Awesome.

44:09 Best Of Awesome. Now do a skipjack from the south.

44:12 Drew Mexican, Mexican skipjack.

44:13 Adam Mexican skipjack.

44:15 Best Of Yeah, nobody does fish like Drew. And that's not it.

44:19 Adam He doesn't come close.

44:21 Best Of He does starfish, too. Do your giant starfish. Go ahead. Sweet.

44:28 Adam Abalone?

44:28 Best Of Abalone does abalone, too. Yeah. Tell you what doesn't this guy do. He, he, he, see, I got to, I got to, if I was honest, if I was to be honest, your barnacles are five.

44:39 Drew Oh.

44:40 Best Of It's, uh. I'll work it.

44:41 Drew I'll work it.

44:41 Best Of Nowhere near one of your anemones. All right. Go ahead, Nick.

44:45 Best Of No, if you want to know more information about the language that crows use and the hoarding and everything for their currency, that was in the October 2004 news scientist or rather science magazine.

44:54 Best Of Nick.

44:55 Best Of That has most of that information in it.

44:56 Best Of It's too bad all this information in your high intelligence doesn't translate into one ounce of puntaic.

45:02 Best Of Oh, that's negative.

45:03 Best Of Really?

45:04 Drew Or get them out of San Bernardino.

45:05 Best Of Are you getting laid?

45:06 Best Of Not currently.

45:08 Drew Well, but right now.

45:09 Best Of Hold on.

45:10 Best Of Shocking.

45:11 Best Of Shocking.

45:12 Best Of I'm at home tonight reading Science Magazine.

45:14 Best Of All right. So, Nick, are you telling me that if I trained my crows that I could come out of my house and be like, and that would mean we're going on a car drive as opposed to, which meant I was going on for a walk, you know, going out for a walk or was trying to, you know, get a hand, get a wing in.

45:36 Best Of They haven't sat down and done research like that. It's more like you could teach them to say things like corn. They're a little bit more interested in what they want to do. Kind of like that.

45:43 Best Of They would understand corn.

45:44 Drew Oh, they'll heading.

45:45 Best Of Exactly. You know, you show them a treat, you say corn and they're going to be like, oh, corn.

45:49 Best Of Yeah, they'll understand. Well, listen, look, thank you, Nick. You're a genius by the way.

45:54 Best Of Well, thanks. Oh, I had one more thing for Drew. I called in 10 years ago because I had a three day erection. I was 13 at the time. Wow. It was because it was my asthma inhaler. I was taking it incorrectly alongside a different one. So I just wanted to say that worked out. I had the asthma inhaler mixed up with the wrong medication.

46:12 Drew Priapism.

46:12 Best Of Calling all nerds. Let me tell you something. Calling all nerds. It was, thank you. It was bothering Drew too.

46:18 Drew Yeah, I'm so glad we're leaving now.

46:20 Best Of 10 years, plagued. Finally, he can rest.

46:23 Best Of All right. It didn't bother me too much. Just that I was in marching band. Yeah, there goes with the nerds.

46:28 Best Of Thanks, motor boy.

46:29 Best Of I wasn't able to march right.

46:31 Best Of Listen, you know, you could just put that long furry hat over. I like you, Nick. What's going on with your life?

46:40 Best Of Just chillin.

46:41 Just in school.

46:42 Best Of Where?

46:43 Drew Kelsey Riverside?

46:44 Best Of No, Cal State San Bernardino. I wasn't there at the time.

46:47 Best Of Desane Junior College, by the way.

46:49 Best Of No, that's correct. Cal State.

46:50 Best Of Chris, hold yours for a second. Everyone, you know how I shout Junior College every 10 minutes to all the ideas to call the show? You want to know what the difference is? You don't hear it. You don't hear Junior College in this guy's voice. Thanks, Nick. If we had mugs or windbreakers, that's any out one.

47:05 Best Of Cool. Have a good one.

47:05 Best Of All right, buddy. Thanks.

47:06 Drew Thanks, man.

47:07 Best Of It's a good boy. All right. So what did we learn?

47:10 Drew The crows are smarter than we even thought.

47:12 Best Of Look.

47:13 Drew A little heady.

47:14 Best Of Look.

47:15 Best Of Dog. You can teach a dog. You know, my dog, when I yell my dog, where's the squirrel? The dog goes nuts. My dog's stupid. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Brain to body. Mass. You know what I mean? That a dog weighs 80 pounds, brain weighs as much as a matchstick. Crows. Probably train those peps.

47:37 Adam Yeah.

47:39 Best Of All right, Drew, it's coming together.

47:41 Drew I'm looking forward to this.

47:42 Best Of If I'm not here tomorrow, it's because I'm out recruiting.

47:45 Drew We need a big butterfly net to catch a couple of crows.

47:48 Best Of And they don't need to be on anyone's endangered list anymore. There's billions of those things. They drive me nuts. They wake me up every morning.

47:53 Drew That explains why they've been spreading so much, too.

47:55 Best Of Yeah, everyone's been leaving them alone. All right, let's take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back after this.

48:02 Best Of All right, guys, here's the deal.

48:04 Best Of You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

48:07 Best Of One call is all you need to make.

48:09 Best Of Call the Dateline.

48:10 Best Of 877-889-DATE.

48:15 Best Of Loveline will be right back.

48:17 Best Of Loveline will be right back.

48:38 Best Of Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1-R. Dr. Drew is in New York City. Why, Engineer Chris?

48:49 Best Of Because somebody dropped a nickel.

48:51 Best Of That's right.

48:52 Best Of Yeah, always funny. Engineer Chris, I told him, well, I announced to the world, and you heard it here first, that I want to replace the kids' pool game, Marco Polo, with Adam Corolla. You know, again, an Italian last name, but a little more contemporary. It's something that kids can identify with.

49:14 Drew Yeah, but not a big deal.

49:15 Best Of No, no, I disagree. I disagree.

49:18 Adam I disagree.

49:19 Best Of I disagree.

49:20 Drew Oh, really?

49:21 Best Of I disagree. I disagree.

49:22 Adam Go ahead.

49:23 Best Of I dis...

49:24 Adam uh?

49:24 Drew Huh? Yeah, okay.

49:26 Best Of Well, here's what I'm saying. Oprah has a magazine. It's not called Marco Polo. It's not called Polo.

49:32 Best Of You know what I'm saying?

49:34 Drew What's the last name?

49:35 Best Of Dr. Phil. Dr. Phil has a show. It's not called Marco.

49:41 Best Of You know what I'm saying? Larry King.

49:43 Best Of Larry King. The Larry King Show. You think his real name is Marco Polo and he calls it the Larry King Show? Or you think his name is Larry King?

49:52 Drew Good times.

49:53 Best Of I'm just saying I'm not I'm not asking to put my name on a car.

49:57 Best Of You know what I'm saying?

49:59 Best Of I'm just want to I just want a kids game. Let's try it. Let's try it.

50:03 Drew Marco. Oh, Adam.

50:05 Adam Corolla.

50:07 Drew Adam.

50:08 Best Of Corolla. Slop out of water.

50:12 Drew Slop out of water.

50:13 Best Of Slop. Slop.

50:14 Drew Slop. No, no, no.

50:16 Adam It's got to be like Adam's masturbating in the jacuzzi.

50:21 Best Of Yeah, that's kind of a mouthful.

50:23 Best Of Let's try it. You got to do the masturbation.

50:26 Drew It's got to be something better. It's got to be something better.

50:28 Best Of No, just try it. See if it sounds good.

50:30 Drew Adam. Adam.

50:31 Best Of No, but you gotta do it sing-songy.

50:33 Drew Adam.

50:40 Adam In the jacuzzi. In the jacuzzi.

50:41 Drew In the jacuzzi.

50:43 Best Of No, just one.

50:44 Adam Let's try it one more time. Adam.

50:47 Best Of Corolla.

50:48 Drew Adam's masturbating in the jacuzzi.

50:50 Best Of All right, that's good.

50:51 Drew Yeah.

50:51 Best Of That's good.

50:52 Drew Yeah.

50:52 Adam Okay. You see, that could work.

50:56 Best Of You have a pool, right, Drew?

50:58 Adam Yeah.

50:58 Best Of You have kids, right?

51:00 Best Of Yeah.

51:00 Best Of They have friends?

51:02 Best Of Yeah.

51:03 Best Of Okay. That's the place to get it started.

51:06 Drew My kid.

51:06 Best Of Okay. Okay.

51:07 Drew Yeah, I'll do it, I'll do it.

51:08 Best Of I'll work on it.

51:09 Drew The catch covered.

51:11 Best Of And so Adam's masturbating in the jacuzzi is equivalent to fish out of water.

51:15 Drew Yeah.

51:16 Best Of That's all I'm saying. Okay.

51:18 Drew Adam's grabbing his junk. How about that?

51:22 Best Of I know it's bumpy, but I'm, you know, and maybe I just heard it first, but I've really grown attached to Adam's masturbating in the jacuzzi.

51:28 Drew In the jacuzzi. Yeah, you're right.

51:29 Best Of Okay. Let's talk to Susan or Suzanne. Susan?

51:36 Best Of Hi.

51:37 Best Of Twenty-seven?

51:37 Best Of Yeah.

51:38 Best Of What's up?

51:39 Best Of Well, first I wanted to tell you, they did a survey about parking spaces. And when someone's waiting for your space, the average time that the person takes to back up goes up.

51:50 Drew When you're waiting? Except with Adam and I, we kick it at a high gear.

51:55 Best Of Right. You're the only ones that know. But most people, when they know someone's waiting, they take their time. Why?

52:01 Drew That's such a bizarre impulse.

52:04 Best Of It's weird. Like, I couldn't think of a more uncomfortable position to be in than have somebody waiting on me. If I go to the supermarket and I was going to pay with a check, but somebody pulls in behind me, I'll just pay with cash.

52:21 Drew Me too.

52:22 Best Of Right. Or if I have three items and, you know, this guy's got three items behind me, I got a cart full of crap, I'll always just let him go for it.

52:29 Best Of I think this is something different, though, guys.

52:31 Best Of It is different.

52:32 Drew Why?

52:33 Best Of It's not because we're nice either. It's just because I can't... I don't want the attention. I don't want someone staring at me, waiting for me to do something.

52:39 Best Of But it's like the whole impulse of I have something you want and you can't have it just yet.

52:43 Best Of Yeah. I will be profoundly disappointed in how evil humanity is, if that's true. Like, I always think of people as super out of it and sort of narcissistic but out of it. I don't look at them as intentionally evil. I just look at them as out of it and stupid. They still need to be eliminated. Don't get me wrong. But I never look at it as volitional.

53:06 Best Of I think it's the weaker F's in society, too. I see it happen all the time. And I think it's because they're not in a position like that very often, and they relish it.

53:12 Best Of Exactly.

53:14 Drew That's still a bizarre impulse, even so. It's hard to even understand it.

53:18 Best Of All right. Well, anyway.

53:19 Best Of Anyway.

53:21 Best Of Go ahead, Susan.

53:21 Best Of Okay. So you were talking to the girl earlier who she said she masturbated when she was young and she had this alcoholic family. But I seem to be attracted to those alcoholic guys all the time, but I had a total normal family life.

53:34 Drew Well, sometimes it's a little more subtle than you realize.

53:39 Best Of I mean, my dad was kind of, he traveled a lot for his work, right? So, you know, I know Adam always talks about that, like, pay attention to your kids and all that.

53:48 Drew Were you a caretaker in your family? Were you like the oldest or something?

53:50 Best Of No, I'm the youngest and all my other siblings are totally normal and two degrees and all that, and I seem to be the one that's just like chaos.

53:59 Drew Well, hang on now. Let's examine what you're doing here. Are you just, are you sort of in, how old are you? Are you sort of into the bad guys or are you specifically attracted to alcoholic addicts?

54:11 Best Of It just always ends up that way.

54:13 Drew I know, but some, very often the bad guys, the sort of dangerous guys that you want to try to tame and all that stuff.

54:18 Best Of Well, I mean, even when people fix me up with someone, they end up being alcoholics. It's the weirdest thing.

54:23 Best Of Well, hold on. Let's see if this cut on. Adam, Susan.

54:27 Best Of Corolla.

54:28 Best Of Okay. All right.

54:29 Keep going.

54:31 Best Of Just want to see if, you're calling from Vegas.

54:33 Best Of Yeah.

54:33 Best Of It's pretty hot there during the summertime.

54:35 Best Of It just got hot today.

54:37 Best Of Yeah. You got a swimming pool?

54:39 Best Of In the complex. Yeah.

54:41 Best Of Oh, okay. Oh, good. Okay. There's what? There's many units in the complex?

54:45 Best Of Yeah. And there's five pools.

54:46 Best Of Oh, you got to go from pool to pool to pool, getting the Adam Corolla replaced with the Marco Polo.

54:52 Best Of Right. That's why I left LA. You can't do that there.

54:55 Best Of Smart. All right. So, Drew, what is it? What's going on?

54:59 Drew Well, I don't quite know. You know, there's sometimes you may have in your family someone who is an alcoholic but doesn't manifest disease. And alcoholics are sort of a unique biological makeup. And as a result, you may just be feel very attached to people that have that kind of feeling about them. That's about the best way I can describe it. So you're not attracted to the disease so much as the kind of person that is prone to developing the disease.

55:23 Best Of I mean, my dad, we don't have the best relationship. You know, it was always like, you've got a B. What about that B instead of great? You got all A's except for that B.

55:34 Drew You know what I mean? I got to watch out here. So anyway, Be careful.

55:39 Best Of It was always emphasizing the bad and not all the other good things, you know.

55:43 Drew And at least that's the way you experience it. Who knows how he experienced it. But I've just been defending the dads here for a second.

55:48 Best Of Sure, why not?

55:50 Drew But were his parents alcoholics? One of his?

55:54 Best Of I don't think so. I mean, his dad died before I was born heart disease.

55:58 Drew Well, it may be something to look into, because then maybe that would give them a probability that that sort of genetic quality has been passed down into your dad, even though the disease has not.

56:07 Best Of And she knows what she's doing, she can stop.

56:10 Drew Right, and that's the other thing. Just go ahead and kind of avoid that. If you find that very, very attractive, know that maybe that's not such a healthy thing and find guys that are sort of less powerfully attractive to you.

56:18 Best Of Let me tell you what engineer Chris found on the internet about Marco Polo. By the way, this is anything you ever need to know about the great explorers, all contained in this sentence or this paragraph here. Marco Polo was a great explorer. He was very brave. Marco was not scared at all when they left to go on the trip. He was also very determined. When people would not believe his stories of his discoveries, he was determined to make them believe him, period. Marco Polo was very courageous too. He wasn't scared of the people in the different countries he visited. Marco Polo was a very brave, determined, and courageous explorer.

57:01 Drew I think that's some of the fourth-grader put up on the web.

57:03 Best Of I know.

57:05 Best Of What is engineer Chris' batting average on pulling up this stuff that has... I actually know less about Marco Polo now. Do you understand that when engineer Chris pulls something on the Internet, hands it to you, whether...

57:21 Drew It's 50-50. It's 50-50. Be fair. We learned about crows and magpies from him.

57:26 Best Of Not really. He told us crows and magpies were the same bird after looking at the computer.

57:31 Drew But he actually printed some stuff for us that sorted that out. A half of it helped us out.

57:35 Best Of I am saying...

57:36 Drew The rest of it became toilet paper.

57:38 Best Of Whether it's an ex-president, a volcano in Fuji, or Marco Polo... Fiji, sorry. I actually know less about the topic after I read the first page. I know less about Marco Polo right now. I've actually had Marco Polo information sponged from my brain.

57:57 Best Of But I've read more stuff for you, though.

57:59 Best Of Alright, more. Now, if I read more about them, I'm just getting back to where I was before I read this first page. I'm actually absent Marco Polo information now. I'm in the hole. You understand? Right. Okay, now I owe Marco Polo knowledge.

58:13 Drew Right. You're below zero.

58:14 Best Of I'm below zero. I'm in negative Marco Polo line. I knew something about him before this page. Now I owe. Alright, true.

58:21 Drew Not good.

58:22 Best Of But anyway, evidently, he wasn't a chicken ass explorer like the ones you always hear about.

58:26 Drew He's very brave.

58:27 Best Of Yeah, most explorers, pussies.

58:29 Best Of Chris, turn yourself off, please.

58:31 Best Of No, leave himself off.

58:33 Best Of Okay. All right.

58:34 Best Of Like Ponce de Leon, puss. Ponce is French for pussy. You didn't know that, did you?

58:42 Best Of No.

58:43 Best Of All right, Drew.

58:44 Drew Yeah.

58:45 Best Of What's happening?

58:46 Drew Just waiting for you guys to finish.

58:47 Adam Oh, okay.

58:48 Best Of All right.

58:48 Adam Must be non-crisis. Mary?

58:51 Best Of Yeah.

58:52 Best Of You're 20?

58:53 Best Of Yeah, I'm 20.

58:54 Best Of You have an odd fetish?

58:56 Best Of I do. I have a very odd fetish. I'm came on by weight gain, but not like in real life. Does that make any sense?

59:06 Drew Well, I think this, yeah, that's sort of like you like being filled up kind of thing, right?

59:11 Best Of But I don't like myself gaining weight.

59:16 Drew No, I know. But you like the idea of things being filled up.

59:20 Best Of Yeah.

59:21 Best Of Who do you like gaining weight? Your boyfriend?

59:23 Best Of No.

59:24 Best Of I'm not attracted to people who are heavy or anything. Like, I like it. Like, I kind of like pretend like in my head, like, I'll imagine like somebody like gaining weight and like overeating and stuff. But it's all like make believe. Like, in real life, it doesn't turn me on.

59:38 Drew Okay. You just, you know, you know how we always talk about how things that are traumatizing become very attractive in adult life? You heard that on our show? Well, one of the things that's rather unusual, but it can happen, and actually to some degree or another, it happens to everybody. But to have it carry over into your sort of adult life is unusual. Is there's trauma around the relationship with the breast, with breastfeeding and that sort of thing, or the bottle, if that was the bottle. And there's a lot of aggression and tear. When you, well, let's, for instance, when you eat, when you eat food yourself, what is the most enjoyable part about it? Is the tearing and swallowing more enjoyable or the taste of it? What part of the eating process do you enjoy?

1:00:17 Best Of The taste.

1:00:18 Drew The taste. So how about the texture?

1:00:21 Best Of Yeah, texture. Like, I like eating. I'm not, I'm definitely not a...

1:00:25 Drew Yeah. Do you like trying to biting and tearing at things too a little bit? Like, the... Yeah. Yeah. That sort of goes a... And now that we're sort of...

1:00:31 Best Of Well, who doesn't?

1:00:32 Drew Right. I know.

1:00:33 Adam Right.

1:00:34 Drew You're right, Adam.

1:00:34 Adam Adam Corolla. OK.

1:00:38 Best Of Just a second. Just a second. Mary, you want to try?

1:00:40 Best Of Let's try it real quick.

1:00:42 Adam No, no, no, no, no.

1:00:43 Best Of I'll do it. I'll lead you.

1:00:44 Best Of I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

1:00:45 Adam Adam Corolla.

1:00:48 Best Of Nice. Nice. I think this is happening.

1:00:51 Drew And just imagine that echoing off the tile, you know.

1:00:55 Best Of Oh, imagine just hot summer day. I'm walking down the street and I just hear it echoing from the neighborhood.

1:01:01 Best Of Adam Corolla, masturbating in the jacuzzi. Adam's masturbating in the jacuzzi.

1:01:06 Best Of Oh, awesome.

1:01:08 Adam Awesome.

1:01:09 Best Of There's nothing better than the laughter of children.

1:01:11 Best Of You know what I'm saying?

1:01:14 Drew But anyway, so this so this has this is sort of a remnant of your past. It's not a huge deal. It's something that may or may not, you know, sort of have other expressions in your relationships. Yeah, it's something that you really were interested in. You can get involved with it. Do you have an anxiety disorder? Do you have a lot of anxiety or panic?

1:01:31 Best Of A little bit.

1:01:32 Drew Yeah. So if, you know, You have a boyfriend?

1:01:34 Best Of You have a boyfriend?

1:01:35 Drew What goes wrong with it?

1:01:36 Best Of No.

1:01:37 Best Of No.

1:01:38 Drew Are you, do you masturbate a lot? Are you so sexually preoccupied?

1:01:41 Best Of Yeah.

1:01:42 Drew Yeah. You like that color, that first color we had when I finally got on the air?

1:01:46 Best Of No. No. Not that much.

1:01:48 Drew All right.

1:01:49 Best Of So what should she do?

1:01:50 Drew Just, just sit and... I would nothing.

1:01:52 Best Of Don't make a big deal out of it.

1:01:53 Drew It's not gonna be a big deal. I think it'll get integrated into other experiences. It's just an interesting observation and it doesn't necessarily have to mean anything gigantic. You know, the psychoanalyst listening, you might go, oh my God, there's a big pathology, but the reality is it's not always associated with those symptoms. People can have stable relationships and there you go.

1:02:10 Best Of Drew, do you really think we have anyone with a degree listening to this show?

1:02:14 Drew I fantasize about that. Adam.

1:02:17 Best Of Corolla. Works every time. All right, so here's the thing. It seems like people can be broken off into two portions of society. One are the folks that question too many things, things that are healthy and normal. They think they're nuts. And then there's everyone else who is doing horrible things and thinks nothing of it.

1:02:38 Drew And they're like an animal. Yeah.

1:02:39 Best Of Right. So I don't know. The best is to be the third group, which is by far the minority, which is realize it and recognize it when you're actually up to something that's destructive to you or somebody else. And give yourself a break when you're just having sort of a normal fantasy.

1:02:57 Drew Don't paint yourself with a crazy brush. Or not even right. I'm not even normal fantasy so much as the human, the human brain, the part of our emotional systems is filled with very bizarre fantasies. We have a weird fantasy life before we have language. And there can be remnants of that. And we have this giant structure that sits on top of that, a cognitive system that we constantly override that fantasy system with. And so we make sense of it. So there you go.

1:03:23 Best Of We had a whole group of people that won some sort of competition that they're now sorry they entered, who are here tonight watching them. And one of them actually fell off the chair during that long-winded discussion.

1:03:35 Drew What are you talking about? What is this?

1:03:37 Best Of I don't know. So we got kids here, Drew. They won some sort of breast cancer competition. And they're here tonight to watch a show. So far it just means shorts and flip-flops make a retarded masturbation jokes. Must be horribly disappointing for them.

1:03:54 Drew Yeah. And that's different why? That other night?

1:03:58 Best Of Because normally they'd get to see you too.

1:04:00 Drew I see. Okay.

1:04:01 Best Of Now they're just there wishing they never showed up. Well, what are you going to do? Let's talk to Allie who's 16. Allie?

1:04:10 Best Of Hi.

1:04:11 Best Of Yeah.

1:04:13 Best Of Okay.

1:04:13 Best Of So last night I had sex and everything was fine. And then when he pulled out and we were done and he was about to get his clothes on, I felt something and I didn't know what it was. And the condom slipped off of him and like the tip of it stayed inside me. Inside me.

1:04:34 Drew Oh, is this upsetting her? She had gulps during the middle of that story.

1:04:38 Best Of I've gotten gulps before. Well, that's you do it when you're nervous.

1:04:41 Drew And I liked the way she said it, and it slipped inside me.

1:04:45 Best Of And so the end stayed.

1:04:47 Best Of Right, right.

1:04:48 Drew That's actually better, that's actually much better than it having slipped off during sort of penetration and the whole thing stayed inside.

1:04:55 Best Of Right, right.

1:04:56 Drew Then it would spill its contents inside you.

1:04:58 Best Of Right, that's what I'm thinking. But I'm just kind of paranoid about the fact that what if anything...

1:05:06 Drew All right, here's the deal. Here's the deal. Right. There's two lessons to be learned here. One is, gentlemen, when you have a condom on and you're pulling out, you are supposed to grab it around the base, because it could slip out very easily. A. B. Morning after pill, any question at all, take it now. 85, 90 percent probability of increasing the risk of pregnancy. It works by what? Only?

1:05:28 Best Of My only problem is because today, like the clinic's closed, tomorrow I have no way to get it before the clinic closes.

1:05:39 Best Of No, she's 16. What?

1:05:41 Drew Well, what? What clinic are you talking about?

1:05:44 Best Of Like, I don't know. I think I called Planned Parenthood and their hours are like-

1:05:49 Drew No, listen, why don't you call, just call this number, 1-888-NOT-TOO-LATE, and they will get, send you to a pharmacy locally where you can get that without a prescription.

1:05:58 Best Of Okay.

1:06:00 Drew 1-888-NOT-NUMBER-2-LATE, 1-888-NOT-TOO-LATE, okay?

1:06:03 Best Of Okay, thank you so much.

1:06:04 Best Of All right, good luck.

1:06:06 Best Of All right, good times.

1:06:07 Drew Good times.

1:06:08 Best Of Yeah, you gotta hang on to that condom base. I'll actually use two hands and a heel. I'll let you bring my foot up.

1:06:16 Drew That's good. Well, you have to start holding during the...

1:06:20 Best Of Oh, yeah.

1:06:20 Drew Why don't I get into it? Adam?

1:06:22 Best Of Corolla! Yeah. All right, where are we going here, Drew? Let's see. We'll talk to... Well, let's talk to Jet, who's been on hold for a million years. But Jet... Somebody named Jet called a couple last week, right?

1:06:41 Drew Right.

1:06:42 Best Of Is this the same Jet who called in last week?

1:06:45 Best Of This is.

1:06:47 Best Of Yeah. Dig that name, Jet.

1:06:50 Drew Meow?

1:06:51 Best Of Meow?

1:06:52 Best Of Meow.

1:06:54 Best Of What? What?

1:06:56 Best Of Jet, are you meowing, or is that from last week?

1:06:58 Best Of I am meowing, yes.

1:07:01 Best Of Oh, okay. Yeah.

1:07:05 Best Of So, yes, you have the same Jet.

1:07:07 Best Of Right. Right.

1:07:08 Best Of I remember we played the song last time, and I was thinking of Paul McCartney's Jet, which may seem very old.

1:07:14 Best Of Very old.

1:07:18 Best Of All right.

1:07:19 Adam So, why are you meowing?

1:07:22 Best Of Well, I'm just kind of wanting a little feedback on the whole oral section.

1:07:27 Drew Come on, don't be such a pussy.

1:07:29 Best Of Drew, please. Oh, yeah.

1:07:30 Drew The whole oral section.

1:07:31 Best Of But what was the meow part? What am I missing on the meow part?

1:07:36 Best Of On part feline?

1:07:38 Drew Whatever. So, what is the...

1:07:40 Best Of I'm sorry. I was confused for a second. I thought you're full human.

1:07:43 Best Of I didn't know you were actually. Yeah.

1:07:45 Best Of That's a can in you.

1:07:46 Best Of I bet she loves Disney films. She's that type of chick.

1:07:49 Best Of Part...

1:07:49 Best Of You know, I'm sorry I didn't mean to confuse you. I thought you had the perception that all women had multiple personalities. And you were just...

1:07:55 Drew Let's stay focused. Stay focused. Focus. Hold on. Focus.

1:08:00 Best Of Focus. How much do you weigh now, Jett? Because that part feline thing just packed 30 pounds on it.

1:08:04 Drew You're fat.

1:08:06 Best Of I weigh 140.

1:08:07 Best Of Mm-hmm.

1:08:09 Best Of How tall are you?

1:08:10 Best Of I'm 5'9.

1:08:11 Drew Okay.

1:08:12 Adam Mm.

1:08:14 Drew I think we went through this last time she called.

1:08:16 Best Of Yeah. Feline. All right.

1:08:18 Best Of So keep going.

1:08:19 Drew What did you call about?

1:08:21 Best Of I called about the whole oral sex thing.

1:08:24 Drew What does that mean?

1:08:26 Best Of Well, I'm a little curious about why some, I know it's okay for a guy to go down on a girl, but when a girl swallows, he doesn't want to kiss her or vice versa. What, I mean, what's the whole attraction to, say, your own bodily fluids as opposed to somebody else's, as opposed to all of that?

1:08:51 Drew Put Jetta on hold for a second.

1:08:52 Best Of Jetta's angry.

1:08:54 Drew Oh, man.

1:08:54 Best Of What the hell happened to her?

1:08:56 Drew All right. Here's the deal. Nobody likes any fluids in the mouth of any cut buddies.

1:09:00 Best Of I don't even like my own spit. I try to get my own spit out of me all the time.

1:09:03 Drew So I don't know what she's talking about. I don't know what she's talking about. Some people will just sort of make an extra effort. What is that?

1:09:10 Best Of I'm trying to drain my own spit.

1:09:13 Adam I don't even like my own spit.

1:09:16 Best Of Do you realize what kind of torture this life is for me, Drew?

1:09:20 Drew You don't like your spit. You can't sleep. You can't breathe through your nose.

1:09:23 Adam Adam.

1:09:25 Best Of Corolla. That's the only thing that saves me is hearing those kids shout my name in the swimming pool.

1:09:30 Best Of What?

1:09:33 Drew Look, I don't know what she's talking about. She's angry. But I think some people will make the effort and sort of try to ignore these things the way of sort of to be in the moment.

1:09:43 Best Of Look, all I heard was angry, angry, angry. Chat, what's up? Where's your dad? What's going on?

1:09:50 Best Of What do you mean, where's my dad?

1:09:51 Best Of Where is he? Why are you angry at men?

1:09:54 Best Of I'm not angry at men.

1:09:55 Best Of All I said is I love to swallow.

1:09:58 Best Of Where's your boyfriend? You have a boyfriend?

1:10:01 Best Of I don't have a boyfriend. I'm divorced.

1:10:04 Best Of What happened?

1:10:05 Drew How old are you?

1:10:07 Best Of Shocking. Thank you.

1:10:10 Drew Why are you divorced?

1:10:11 Best Of I know. This is where you get to evaluate me. I came from the...

1:10:14 Best Of Hold on. That happened a long time ago with me and you. This is where the listeners get to evaluate you. I already made my decision five minutes ago.

1:10:27 We're not going to come over.

1:10:30 Best Of What the hell was that?

1:10:32 Drew I think we're getting somebody else's phone call bleeding in there.

1:10:36 Best Of Yeah. Hey, let me ask you guys something.

1:10:40 Drew You guys?

1:10:41 Best Of Am I the only guy this happens to, Drew? Let me ask you this.

1:10:43 Drew What?

1:10:44 Best Of Your cordless phone, not cell phone, but cordless phone at home.

1:10:48 Drew At home, yeah.

1:10:49 Best Of Not the range that the ones 10 years ago had?

1:10:52 Drew What?

1:10:53 Best Of Mine doesn't, mine, mine, the new ones don't have the range that the old ones had.

1:10:58 Drew I wish I could agree with you on that. I may, because we bought a bunch of new, you can expand the bases, you know, you get a bunch of-

1:11:04 Best Of I got that one. I can't make it to the crapper with the goddamn phone.

1:11:07 Drew It's got to be something to do with your house, those big thick walls or something. Really? Yeah, because I think you would got that new house, a new mansion you live in. By the way, I went up there to see the garage and you weren't home.

1:11:18 Adam When? When?

1:11:19 Drew Friday. Friday afternoon or something. I came by.

1:11:21 Best Of I was working.

1:11:23 Drew Well, at least the net could be there. Well, ring the thing.

1:11:26 Best Of Somebody should...

1:11:27 Drew I did it. I rang it like 12 times.

1:11:28 Best Of Yeah. What time?

1:11:30 Best Of Middle of the day?

1:11:32 Drew 12.30 or something.

1:11:32 Best Of Yeah.

1:11:33 Best Of Everyone's getting lunch. Jet?

1:11:35 Best Of Yeah?

1:11:36 Best Of Does your phone work better?

1:11:37 Best Of All right.

1:11:38 Best Of Your dad, what did he do to you?

1:11:40 Best Of My dad? My dad did nothing to me. I had a wonderful father.

1:11:45 Best Of What about mom?

1:11:46 Drew Till he left.

1:11:48 Best Of I had a wonderful mother. I mean, both my parents were out of the home growing up.

1:11:54 Drew Hippies.

1:11:55 Best Of They're out of the home?

1:11:57 Best Of Yeah. But they set a wonderful example for me to follow.

1:12:01 Best Of Well, why didn't your marriage work?

1:12:05 Best Of Because I think I did it backwards. I think I intended to kiss the toad and he turned into Prince Charming. And unfortunately, when we kissed, he turned into a toad instead of Prince Charming.

1:12:18 Drew Oh, so that makes crystal clear now. Yeah.

1:12:21 Best Of There's a scientific basis for this divorce. I see. He actually turned into a frog. All right. Well, that's fine. I didn't know. I didn't know he'd transformed into a frog.

1:12:29 Drew I need to I need now to know more to know more about what you mean. Your parents were out of the home. What were they?

1:12:32 Best Of Yeah. What does that mean?

1:12:36 Best Of I don't know. I was the youngest of four children. I guess I was kind of sheltered from reality and the truth of everything between mom, dad, brothers and sisters.

1:12:46 Drew Okay. Here's the deal. Stop speaking in riddles. Just tell us exactly what you mean. Why were the parents out of the home? What were they doing?

1:12:54 Best Of Oh, they just worked. Both my parents were two and three jobs to make ends meet.

1:13:01 Drew So they were never home. How did you take care of yourself during the day as a child?

1:13:05 Best Of My brothers and sisters and I took care of each other.

1:13:08 Drew How old was the oldest child, say, when you were four years old? What was the oldest child doing the caretaking?

1:13:14 Best Of Four-twelve.

1:13:16 Drew So the twelve-year-old was taking care of you when you were four?

1:13:19 Best Of That's the most important thing.

1:13:24 Drew That's child abuse, basically. You can't do that. Here's the thing.

1:13:30 Best Of We both smelled a nutty fart coming out of jet, right?

1:13:34 Drew Yeah. But again, she's so full of BS. Well, they said a wonderful example. It's okay, guys, to have ambivalent feelings about everything. I remember sometimes I give these presentations at colleges in the first 10 minutes. They want to tell me how things should be and how men are and how women are. No, guys, just talk about how you feel. Yeah. How are you feeling? How do you feel about those things? How does it make you in the present? Don't tell a fairy tale. Don't talk in riddles and hyperbole. Just how do you feel about what happened? It's all fine. Look at it realistically, honestly.

1:14:06 Best Of Well, the society has just eroded into one big, long BS yarn where everyone says things like, everything happens for a reason. No one across from them says, shut the F up, you retard. What the hell do you mean by that?

1:14:20 Drew Right.

1:14:20 Best Of I can't stand this. You're supposed to kiss a toad and marry a prince. I kissed a prince and got the toad. Fantastic. Now I know all the dynamics of your relationship. You know what the problem is, is the person sits across from them and nods their head.

1:14:35 Drew Absolutely.

1:14:35 Best Of You ended up with a toad.

1:14:37 Drew Thanks for being so honest. It's very courageous of you to be honest about a bad marriage.

1:14:40 Best Of Just snapped into focus.

1:14:42 Drew Please.

1:14:42 Best Of Everyone with your BS, please drop it or use it, but don't bring it here because it infuriates us.

1:14:48 Best Of Adam Corolla.

1:14:51 Adam Adam Asprey, The Jujicuzzi. We'll take a quick break.

1:14:55 Best Of We'll be right back after this.

1:15:00 Best Of Loveline will be right back, so get your problems ready. Ready. Ready for something new?

1:15:06 Best Of Try Durex Tingling Condoms. There's sex, and then there's Durex. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew in New York City.

1:15:27 Drew And I'm staying at that Regal Royal. I think that's where you were staying last week, right? Two weeks ago. I've forgotten how nice those rooms are. And I visited the the ass-squirting toilet seat.

1:15:36 Best Of You got the ass-squirting toilet seat?

1:15:37 Drew Yeah, very nice. Has a pulsating setting on it, too.

1:15:40 Best Of Yeah, I was there like a week ago enjoying the ass-squirting I got, but it was offset by the monster-size hash mark on the white towel. I mean, there was a white towel that had a hash mark on it the size of a human liver.

1:15:57 Drew Oh, that's very nice.

1:15:59 Best Of And I mean, it was so blatant. Let's just put it this way. If I'd taken the thing down to the front desk and said, yeah, this was very visible in my bedroom, and when I came into my room, I would have gotten a week for free. It was that bad. As it is, I just stared at the hash mark for three days and went about my business. I am the best guy to have a check in your hotel or park in the space that you want or any of these things. I'm perfect for all these. I don't say anything. I get the F out of there as fast as I can. That's how I work. Yeah. All right. Where are we, Drew? Ass-sporting. Husband wants her to stick. Oh, got some of the finger in the ass. Yeah, I imagine that. Lori.

1:16:47 Hello.

1:16:48 Best Of 27?

1:16:49 Yes.

1:16:50 Best Of What can we do you for?

1:16:52 Well, me and my husband have been together for like five years. And I'm just wondering, is it normal for him, for the past, I guess, maybe two months, he's been wanting me to stick my finger up his butt. And also I have a G-spot vibrator.

1:17:14 Best Of What's going on?

1:17:15 And you want me to put that up his butt too.

1:17:17 Drew You want us to put that up your butt?

1:17:19 Best Of No, up his butt.

1:17:21 Drew First of all, it sounds like, what was that last caller's name?

1:17:24 Best Of Jet.

1:17:25 Drew Jet, like Jet's visiting their house.

1:17:27 Best Of Laura, I hear a lot of cats in the background. Or is that a kid?

1:17:31 It's one cat.

1:17:33 Best Of One cat?

1:17:34 One cat and a dog.

1:17:36 Best Of Wow. All right. And do you guys have any kids?

1:17:38 Yes, we do.

1:17:40 Best Of Calling from Bakersfield. That's trouble. What went wrong? Something had to go wrong if you're in Bakersfield. What went wrong? Well, and that would be, by the way, if I if I was the mayor of Bakersfield, I would put that on the sign.

1:17:55 Drew What's it doing here?

1:17:57 Best Of Bakersfield, what went wrong?

1:18:01 That's what I'm wondering.

1:18:02 Best Of Yeah, something obviously has gone wrong. And I would actually have that in the front of every junior college, Joe, it would say, Pierce Junior College, what went wrong? That would be right on the side, because I would shame people into moving on or graduating.

1:18:18 Drew Nice.

1:18:19 Best Of All right.

1:18:19 Best Of Yeah. Bakersfield, what went wrong?

1:18:24 Best Of Yeah.

1:18:26 Best Of And then, and then if I had a Riverside one, I'd say Riverside, at least we're not Bakersfield. That would be the one under. There's a lot of crappy places to live around this area. And I don't know why people, number one, all right. And I don't know why you people live there though. That's my question.

1:18:43 Best Of Just cause.

1:18:44 Best Of That there you go. That's the number one.

1:18:47 Drew I love that reason.

1:18:48 Best Of That's the number one answer. It's also the number one answer a dog gives when he asks why it's lying out in the dirt.

1:18:53 Best Of Corolla!

1:18:55 Drew Yeah. There you go.

1:18:56 Best Of All right. What does your husband do over there in Bakersfield?

1:19:00 He installs shower doors and shower enclosures and mirrors.

1:19:05 Drew I need some help with that guy.

1:19:07 Best Of He's a regular James Bond.

1:19:08 Oh, yeah.

1:19:09 Best Of Talk about life in the fast lane.

1:19:12 007.

1:19:13 Best Of Yeah.

1:19:14 Best Of All right.

1:19:15 Drew Here's the deal. First of all, I get the real sense your husband put you up to this call.

1:19:18 Caller No.

1:19:19 Adam He's not even here.

1:19:20 Drew All right. Secondly, there are guys that like that sort of internal stimulation. They are rare. But if he's that guy, he's that guy. You know, some guys like that.

1:19:32 Caller Most guys, I mean, what I'm thinking is, is he gay or what?

1:19:35 Drew No, it really doesn't have anything to do with sexual orientation. Has he ever had any gay feelings?

1:19:40 Caller I have no idea.

1:19:41 Drew No, it's not that.

1:19:43 Caller He wouldn't tell me if he did, I don't think.

1:19:45 Drew Oh, fine. Whatever. He likes that stimulated. Some guys like the outside stimulated. I actually did a little piece on this for Discovery Health Channel.

1:19:53 Best Of Something you want to tell us?

1:19:54 Drew No, I didn't actually try it, but it makes sense to me that like, okay, that makes sense. But the inside, 95 percent of guys, no way. But there's a few percent that do like it, and he's one of those guys. So what are you going to do?

1:20:06 Caller Well, what bothers me is that he'll want it while we're doing it. And then afterwards, he says, don't do that anymore. And then he'll do it again. I mean, he'll be, he'll want it again.

1:20:18 Drew That's a little more disturbing.

1:20:20 Best Of You got kids now. You got to stop doing that.

1:20:22 Adam It's got to be, I don't know.

1:20:25 Best Of That's the only answer I have. It's going to be great for Laurie to have this guy come home every day.

1:20:32 Best Of Oh man.

1:20:33 Best Of Oh, work. Boy, let me tell you. I went and did this job. Guy went and used, well, first off, he put the old door in with screw shields instead of expansion anchors.

1:20:47 Best Of Next thing you know, the guy's going to be using Tapcons.

1:20:50 Best Of And anyway, he didn't go with the Bondurize caulk. He went with the latex-based stuff.

1:20:55 Adam Oh my God.

1:20:57 Best Of She's just going to sit there like, oh my Christ. I mean, your husband installing shower doors and shower curtains just sounds like a novelty boring job. It's the punchline. It's the guy.

1:21:10 Drew Maybe he does high-end shower doors.

1:21:13 Best Of It's the guy I sit next to on the airplane. What line you in? Shower doors, shower rings, and curtains.

1:21:20 Drew By the way, I had like a sort of supermodel type person sit down next to me on an airplane today.

1:21:24 Best Of Oh my God.

1:21:26 Drew I never had that happen before and didn't utter a word. This person would not speak.

1:21:30 Best Of I'm so angry at you, Drew.

1:21:32 Drew I know, but it's worse. It's worse. We'll not have a conversation. We'll not like... You know, you're on the plane. You just want to, you know, sleep or whatever. So I urge you to not wish for that.

1:21:43 Best Of I'm angry because I've flown to New York and back a hundred and fifty times.

1:21:51 Drew I thought it would have happened.

1:21:52 Best Of I never sat next to a model.

1:21:53 Drew No, I know.

1:21:54 Best Of First class. And I always thought, I grew up thinking if you fly to New York, if you're flying to Manhattan and you're flying first class on airplane, there's going to be some kind of famous rock star or model or beautiful something. Never.

1:22:09 Adam I don't even get chicks.

1:22:11 Drew I think they all fly on private stuff now.

1:22:13 Adam Is that what it is?

1:22:14 Drew Yeah.

1:22:16 Best Of How about, I don't know, what is some B or C Lister still kind of cute?

1:22:23 Drew Well, that was David Angrear. I did that.

1:22:27 Best Of So was this chick was clearly a model?

1:22:29 Drew No, no, but it was somebody clearly very, very attractive and actually sort of more our age, not like somebody in their-

1:22:38 Best Of Not a spring chicken.

1:22:39 Drew Right. But still, I thought of you immediately. I thought that, oh, here I'm finally getting what Adam always wished for and not, not one word.

1:22:48 Best Of Did you, did you try to strike something up?

1:22:50 Drew Yeah. A little bit. Nothing. Nothing.

1:22:52 Best Of I want to say weird, I would probably be less apt to talk to the attractive woman than I would to the schlubby guy.

1:23:00 Drew Well, you kind of feel like I feel sorry for him. You know, people are always trying to talk to him.

1:23:03 Best Of Yeah, it's got to be rough and you're beautiful.

1:23:05 Drew But listen, what do you want to do when you come on that plane? It's just you want to put the noise canceling phones on and just zone out.

1:23:11 Best Of Yeah, I know, but a little howdy do to your neighbor is always a good idea. Plus, I'll oftentimes eat their warm nuts.

1:23:20 Adam Yeah.

1:23:22 Best Of All right, should we keep rocking here, Drew?

1:23:24 Drew Yes, let's take some calls.

1:23:25 Best Of Boyfriend fingers, sir.

1:23:27 Drew What do we have come up this week, by the way, guest wise?

1:23:30 Best Of Oh, man, we got Marco Polo coming in here.

1:23:33 Drew Oh, fantastic. He was a very courageous man.

1:23:35 Best Of Yeah, he was a brave man who was not scared and oftentimes brave because he wasn't scared. What website do you have? One for like retarded fourth graders?

1:23:46 Adam I just Googled it and that's it.

1:23:47 Best Of I don't want stuff that got translated from crayon.

1:23:50 Best Of I Googled it and that's what came up.

1:23:51 Best Of All right, well, stop Googling around. Ann says that Motley Crue may come in here toward the end of the week, but we'll see. I don't have the list. I don't have the list of guests up here just yet. Christine. Yeah. You're 26. Yes. And you're, it tickles when your boyfriend drops a finger on you. All right, hold on a second.

1:24:19 Drew The hell's that mean?

1:24:20 Best Of I don't know.

1:24:22 Best Of At 26, though, you got to get past that, right?

1:24:25 Drew Well, I don't know you're still doing that at 26.

1:24:27 Adam Adam Corolla, Adam Corolla, Adam's masturbating the jacuzzi.

1:24:38 Best Of It never gets old. It does not ever get old.

1:24:43 Drew It's like farting for you.

1:24:44 Best Of It's funny every time. All right, we'll take a break. We'll get back with that Christine who laughs every time she is on the business end of a finger blasting.

1:24:55 Drew Oh, boy.

1:24:55 Best Of And Dr. Drew over there in New York City Night. We'll be right back after this.

1:25:03 Best Of Loveline will be right back.

1:25:11 Best Of Yeah, everybody.

1:25:12 Best Of It's Loveline.

1:25:13 Best Of I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Stabbed in the gut. Can't get a boner. Happened six months ago.

1:25:20 Best Of Anthony from Modesto.

1:25:22 Best Of Anthony?

1:25:23 Best Of Yo.

1:25:24 Best Of What's up?

1:25:25 Best Of Not much. I just it's been a while. That's how direction of my girlfriend's kind of getting pissed off by it.

1:25:30 Best Of Who stabbed you?

1:25:32 Best Of This drunk guy.

1:25:34 Adam Did you know the Buck Knife?

1:25:37 Drew Everybody ever I treated got stabbed by a buck knife.

1:25:39 Best Of A buck knife. I don't think people know this. Too many knife names.

1:25:42 Best Of I'll become Buck Knife.

1:25:44 Best Of Besides, steak knife makes you look like a wuss. And butter knife, that means you're gay.

1:25:49 Adam Where in the abdomen?

1:25:51 Best Of What did he stab you with? What kind of knife?

1:25:54 Best Of Just a small little pocket knife that had ridges on it.

1:25:57 Best Of Ooh, serrated. Bad times.

1:25:59 Drew And where in the abdomen did he hit you?

1:26:02 Best Of Lower. It's pretty close to the crotch, but when I went to the doctor, they said it shouldn't affect anything. I've been there a couple times. They said I'm fine down there.

1:26:09 Drew Were you operated on?

1:26:11 Best Of No, because he didn't go that deep. I tried to jump back and so he only like poked me in a little bit.

1:26:19 Drew Did they put you on any medication?

1:26:24 Best Of No. They just stitched it up and that's it.

1:26:26 Drew Well, you're taking no medication now?

1:26:28 Best Of Right now? No.

1:26:29 Drew Right now. No pain pills?

1:26:31 Best Of No. I didn't want to take any pain pills.

1:26:33 Drew No pot?

1:26:34 Best Of No.

1:26:35 Best Of Why didn't you want to take any pain pills?

1:26:37 Best Of Because it wasn't hurting that bad.

1:26:38 Best Of That's the best part about getting stabbed.

1:26:41 Drew The only good part, right?

1:26:42 Best Of Yeah.

1:26:43 Best Of Well, showing the scar at the swimming pool and saying that's where you got before you play a rousing game of Adam Carolla. Showing the scar and saying that's where I was stabbed. No, I was cut. I was cut.

1:26:55 Drew I can't understand how the stabbing could have anything to do with your erection. It didn't get into your abdomen. It barely broke the skin. What are we talking about here?

1:27:03 Best Of Well, I don't know, but just ever since then, I can't get into erection when I'm having sex.

1:27:08 Drew When you're having sex, but you get them when you wake up in the morning?

1:27:12 Best Of No, I haven't had erection in six months, basically.

1:27:16 Best Of Alright, go back to the doctor.

1:27:17 Drew Yes, something's wrong. I can't figure out what it would be, and it doesn't seem like it. Were you traumatized by this whole thing? Is that you're depressed? You're not sleeping? Is it something related to that?

1:27:28 Best Of I don't know.

1:27:28 Drew Even then, it sounds so biological.

1:27:30 Best Of Yeah, but not having erection in the middle of the night, not having one in the morning when you have to urinate?

1:27:36 Drew Maybe he actually got some other problem along the way here. Let me ask him. Have you been thirsty a lot?

1:27:43 Best Of Thirsty?

1:27:43 Caller Yeah.

1:27:45 Drew You're not drinking a lot of water and peeing a lot?

1:27:47 Best Of I'm thirsty for knowledge, but you're talking about water?

1:27:49 Drew I'm just wondering if he's diabetic or something else happened in the meantime and he's a primitive man. Well, this happened, therefore maybe you're just getting sick and you didn't notice it and you're equating it with the stabbing. Do you drink a lot?

1:28:03 Best Of Beer, yeah, kind of.

1:28:05 Drew How much?

1:28:07 Best Of Um, I get drunk on the weekends a lot.

1:28:11 Best Of Anthony, if you attempted to masturbate tonight, could you achieve an erection?

1:28:17 Best Of Probably not.

1:28:19 Drew Alright, go back to that.

1:28:19 Best Of Hold on, probably not?

1:28:21 Best Of Yeah. I mean, you've got to. I've tried it before and I've done it for at least like five, six minutes and nothing ever happened.

1:28:30 Drew No erection?

1:28:31 Best Of No.

1:28:31 Best Of Six months of this?

1:28:33 Best Of Yeah, it's been horrible. Alright, go back.

1:28:35 Adam Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

1:28:36 Drew Do you know what we mean by erection?

1:28:38 Best Of Yeah.

1:28:38 Drew What do you mean?

1:28:39 Adam Wait, wait.

1:28:41 Drew What do you mean by that? What do you mean by erection?

1:28:45 Best Of I get it to come out.

1:28:49 Best Of Oh, Drew, they have stumbled on to something.

1:28:55 Drew What's he doing for five minutes without an erection?

1:28:57 Best Of Well, he's trying to get one.

1:28:58 Best Of Yeah.

1:28:59 Best Of Now, erection is college, it's city talk, city folk talk for boner.

1:29:05 Best Of Oh, okay.

1:29:07 Drew So you don't have an orgasm.

1:29:09 Best Of Okay.

1:29:10 Best Of But do you get a boner if you try to? I'm not even going to say masturbate, that's a big word too. If you try to-

1:29:17 Drew Loveline has hit a new low on it.

1:29:18 Best Of If you try to fiddle with your Pepe, do you get a boner?

1:29:24 Best Of Yeah, but I haven't had an orgasm.

1:29:28 Best Of No orgasm, but you do have an erection.

1:29:32 Best Of Okay.

1:29:33 Best Of Okay, well, you see they're very different things.

1:29:37 Best Of All right, I'm sorry.

1:29:39 Best Of That's all right.

1:29:39 Drew Don't be sorry.

1:29:40 Best Of Don't apologize.

1:29:41 Drew But don't-

1:29:41 Best Of Apologize to your penis.

1:29:44 Drew Because when you talk to-

1:29:45 Best Of I mean do it.

1:29:46 Best Of Right now.

1:29:48 Best Of I'm sorry.

1:29:49 Best Of Yeah. All right. So still can go to the doctor. Drew, when Drew said, I want to know if he knows what erection means, I looked at him cross-eyed.

1:29:59 Drew How dare you?

1:30:00 Best Of Yeah.

1:30:01 Drew I think one of our callers cannot understand basic English language.

1:30:04 Best Of Right. And when he said he'd been playing with himself for five, six minutes, I thought he was just trying to nurse it.

1:30:10 Drew No, a guy wouldn't do that.

1:30:11 Best Of Well, but I also figured five, six minutes was a minute. Instead of him trying to get it going. So he's not having an orgasm. I think we have had people mistake or confuse the orgasm with the erection before.

1:30:27 Drew We've had people confuse all kinds of things.

1:30:28 Best Of All right.

1:30:29 Best Of Back to the doctor.

1:30:30 Drew Yeah. But don't talk about the stabbing. The stabbing has nothing to do with this.

1:30:35 Best Of Right.

1:30:35 Drew Talk to the doctor about this lack of orgasmic function and then see if they can figure that out.

1:30:39 Best Of All right.

1:30:40 Drew Well, that's nothing to do with the stabbing.

1:30:41 Best Of Let's talk to Chris. Chris?

1:30:44 Best Of Yes.

1:30:45 Best Of You spend a lot of money on hookers?

1:30:48 Best Of Yes. Actually, the last three, four years, it's been pretty bad.

1:30:53 Best Of How much is it? What do you get? Do you get sex? Do you get oral sex?

1:30:58 Best Of No.

1:30:58 Best Of Usually just, you know, hand job.

1:31:01 Best Of Oh, really?

1:31:03 Drew What's that old-fashioned?

1:31:04 Best Of What does that set you back?

1:31:08 Best Of More than I could even count.

1:31:11 Adam No, how much per episode?

1:31:12 Best Of How much per pop?

1:31:15 Best Of About 150.

1:31:17 Best Of 150 for a hand job?

1:31:19 Best Of Right.

1:31:20 Best Of Wow.

1:31:21 Drew Do you know what a hand job?

1:31:23 Best Of Yeah.

1:31:24 Best Of Man, back in the day, we used to get them for like a buck 75.

1:31:28 Best Of Right.

1:31:30 Best Of 150 bucks for a hand job? Yeah. I think you're getting played. I could give you, I get you the same hand job for 75. Same job. Same hand job. Same one.

1:31:41 Drew Anyway, this is sexual addiction, Chris. This is it. When you start using hookers compulsively and don't want to.

1:31:47 Best Of What do you do? Do you do it in your car?

1:31:49 Best Of Well, no. Usually at my place.

1:31:52 Best Of They come over. Oh. Well, if you're going to bring them over, you got to pay.

1:31:56 Drew Right.

1:31:58 Best Of Same girl?

1:31:59 Best Of No.

1:32:00 Best Of It's always different.

1:32:02 Best Of It's a different girl every week.

1:32:04 Best Of And sometimes, you know, it's two to three times a week, depending on how much I work.

1:32:10 Best Of And what do you do?

1:32:12 Best Of I do asphalt.

1:32:14 Best Of Does asphalt?

1:32:15 Best Of Oh.

1:32:16 Best Of What are you doing? You raking or you driving the steamroller?

1:32:20 Best Of Actually, I run the paper.

1:32:22 Best Of Oh, nice. All right.

1:32:23 Best Of Heavy equipment.

1:32:25 Best Of Yeah.

1:32:25 Best Of That's a good smelling job, too.

1:32:28 Best Of Yes.

1:32:29 Best Of All right, Chris.

1:32:31 Best Of Yes.

1:32:32 Best Of What should he do? You're getting compulsive about it.

1:32:34 Best Of Yeah.

1:32:34 Drew You either stop and get a relationship and try to get out of this, or you may have to look into SA, sexaholics, sexatixdontics.

1:32:41 Best Of Again, how about some exercise, some activities, get into something? I really do believe that a lot of this stuff would at least curtail if you were tired or invigorated. You came home from-

1:32:55 Drew It's a little bit though of sort of diverting the attention from the real work that needs to be done, because that stuff will surface in some way later.

1:33:01 Best Of Let's take a break. We'll be back. Yep, well, there it was, the best of Loveline. I'm Adam Nads, Dr. True World.

1:33:59 Drew We'll be back live tomorrow.

1:34:01 Best Of Yeah.

1:34:02 Drew It's great. I just get my evening going, and I'm already done with work. It's fabulous.

1:34:05 Best Of We'll be back in the studio live tomorrow, and until next time, this Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew is saying, mahalo.

1:34:14 Best Of This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station.

1:34:26 Best Of The producer for Loveline is Aningold.

1:34:28 Best Of Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

Episode Feedback

Sunday, September 4, 2005