Episode 1000724338228

0:56 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually oriented content. Sexually oriented content.

1:07 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:08 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:12 Voiceover This is Loveline.

1:16 Voiceover With Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:19 Voiceover Well, not exactly. This is Dr. Drew. It is Loveline. The phone number here is 1-800-LOVE-191. Corolla is off in Pebble Beach or something at a car rally. Quite, to my great pleasure, instead of Adam tonight, we have not Nicole Kidman, in fact, but Kathy Griffin.

1:36 Adam That's right. I'm here. And Adam is at a car show?

1:39 Drew He's at a car rally looking for a-

1:41 Adam What does that mean, a car rally?

1:42 Drew It's basically- Anderson, do that on the air, please. Don't stop us like that. He yelled, turn Kathy Griffin up.

1:49 I said turn her up.

1:51 Drew Thank you very much.

1:51 I don't want to interrupt the show.

1:53 Drew But you interrupt us. No one else knows why we're stopping our conversation.

1:56 Adam What is a car show? Is that a NASCAR?

1:58 Drew No, it's like an international competition of people who collect cars and show cars.

2:04 Adam Is he performing or is he going to purchase one?

2:06 Drew Oh, he's looking at one. He's going to buy another car.

2:09 Adam Another? He has a car thing too? I thought he just had a house thing.

2:11 Drew He has a warehouse of cars.

2:13 Adam He what?

2:14 Drew Yes.

2:14 Adam I've never seen him in a spectacular car.

2:16 Drew Because they're in the warehouse.

2:18 Adam That's like Jerry Seinfeld where they're at a hangar at DC 10 or whatever.

2:22 Drew Yes, it's pretty annoying. But it's sort of like a dog show, dog show, but cars.

2:28 Adam So it's like best in show?

2:29 Drew Yes. Okay.

2:30 Adam Now does he soup them up and then go compete?

2:33 Drew No, he soups them up.

2:35 Adam Like Westminster Car Show?

2:36 Drew No, he had an M3 and he put a supercharger in it. Now it sits in his garage and he props up the hood for people to look at when they come around and visit him.

2:43 Kiss my hairy ass.

2:45 Adam Is Adam rapping?

2:49 Drew No.

2:49 Adam Is he in someone's pound? Like is he in a dog pound?

2:52 Drew No, no. He's just making lots of money doing Howard Stern's job and doing Comedy Central and stuff.

2:58 Adam All right.

2:58 Drew He has no kids and he has all these houses that he's bought over the years.

3:02 Adam Now, I want to know psychologically what you think that says about Adam, that he likes the cars, which are toys, right?

3:07 Drew He likes everything that's not his dad. So anything wrenching, anything mechanic, flying model airplanes, cars, which he had a passion for as a kid, he liked to make, he used to ride a unicycle around as a kid. This is great, we're going to talk about Adam the whole time he's not here.

3:22 Adam Yeah.

3:22 Drew Then he ended up being a vice-poor guy.

3:23 Adam Because I've always known there's something wrong with him, but I never could pinpoint it until tonight.

3:27 Drew Oh, deeply. That's the thing about his dad. So he's got to be everything his dad is.

3:31 Adam Okay.

3:31 Drew But then his mom, he and his mom, he once, when I first met him, he said he had a bad dream. He goes, that's horrible dream. These two haunchy women, and he'd always described his mom and his grandmother as haunchy women.

3:41 Adam What does that mean?

3:42 Drew Just sort of hippie. He goes, these two haunchy hippie women, also I described his mom and grandmother.

3:47 Adam He's got the skinny wife too.

3:49 Drew Yeah. His wife has no hips. But she wasn't, yeah right. Kind of compensate for that.

3:53 Adam So the opposite of mom.

3:54 Drew But these two women, these two haunchy women, were beating him over the head while he was trying to get out of a swimming pool with his own testes.

4:01 Adam Wow. It's so hard to figure out.

4:04 Drew Yes, Dr. Freud. I wonder what that means. Wow. Yeah.

4:07 Adam Okay. Now, have you met his mom and dad?

4:09 Drew Yeah. They're very nice people.

4:10 Adam I knew it.

4:10 Drew Yeah, of course.

4:11 Adam I knew that if you met them, you'd think they were.

4:13 Drew But they probably were not great parents. They weren't not available as parents.

4:16 Adam Not emotionally available.

4:17 Drew Yeah.

4:17 Adam Okay.

4:18 Drew And of course, that becomes a way of living.

4:20 Adam That they're monsters, right? That's what I like to do with my parents too. I like to make them out to be so much worse than they already are.

4:26 Drew Really? Where did you grow up?

4:27 Adam In Chicago.

4:28 Drew Whereabouts?

4:28 Adam Oak Park on the west side. That's nice part, right? Oak Park has the fancy part, and then it has the more middle-class part.

4:34 Drew Is it near Evanston, kind of?

4:36 Adam Evanston is the similar, where there's really fancy Evanston, and then there's middle-class Evanston.

4:39 Drew Are you all thrust into the same school system?

4:41 Adam Well, there's a class system there, and it's not unlike in India, where there's a cast system, exactly.

4:46 Drew You're not a Brahmin.

4:47 Adam No, nor am I a Shaman. Now, my life was like a John Hughes movie, and I was Anthony Michael Hall. So that's who I was.

4:56 Drew Wow.

4:57 Adam I was neither Molly Ringwald nor was I Ali Shady.

5:00 Drew How did you end up out here?

5:02 Adam My parents decided to retire in California because of their mutual love for golf.

5:06 Drew What were they doing? What were their professions?

5:08 Adam They retired. My dad worked at Hi-Fi stores, and right away that's dating me to say Hi-Fi.

5:12 Drew Yes. They can say stereo.

5:13 Adam Like Sam Good, not Sam Goody, like good guys.

5:16 Drew There was nothing like that then. No, but then they were like mom and pop things.

5:20 Adam My mom worked in the office of a hospital. Just administrative. Right.

5:24 Drew Yeah. They had enough to retire, and then you were-

5:27 Adam Well, we lived in this apartment in Santa Monica, across from Santa Monica High, and I lived with my parents far too long. I went off and lived with a guy for a while, and then I actually came home and lived at home for a year when I was 28, and that was really pathetic.

5:40 Drew When were you in the groundlings?

5:41 Adam I was in the groundlings at the time, which I don't think has ever happened since then.

5:45 Drew That somebody lived with their parents and was in the groundlings.

5:46 Adam Although I do remember Will Farrell and his brother lived with his mom while he was in the groundlings too.

5:52 Drew See? Maybe that explains something about the people that are attracted to you and your work. Just saying.

5:58 Adam No, of course, I understand. Then the weird thing is that then Adam's mom beat me in a pool.

6:04 Drew With his testes. Yes, with his testes.

6:06 Adam I don't know what it means.

6:07 Drew Well, again, Dr. Freud. Now, it's Kathy Griffin, my life on the D-list.

6:12 Adam My Bravo Smash It Show.

6:13 Drew Bravo, 10 o'clock Wednesdays, right? Right. Then Kathy Griffin is not Nicole Kidman.

6:17 Adam That's my special, my current straight stand-up special that's running.

6:20 Drew Also on Bravo?

6:21 Adam Yes, also on Bravo.

6:23 Drew Tell me what that means.

6:24 Adam Well, I, you know, a lot of my act is of course making fun of celebrity culture because I enjoy that and I like to take them down. And I call the Kathy Griffin is not Nicole Kidman because a lot of people mistake her for my older chubbier sister. And I wanted to clear that up. I don't, you know, we're not related. I know we look alike, but I've never met Nicole Kidman. I've never even met her. That's what's so weird about how people keep thinking I'm her.

6:44 Drew It's kind of spooky how much like Katie Holmes, she looks like.

6:48 Yes.

6:48 Drew Yes.

6:48 Adam And the height and the whole thing.

6:49 Drew Yeah.

6:50 Adam But I do like that Nicole Kidman apparently never went for Scientology and I don't know how she stayed out of it.

6:55 Drew Her father's a famous Austrian or Australian psychologist.

7:00 Adam Yeah.

7:00 Drew Famous.

7:00 Adam Right.

7:01 Drew That's how she, I know.

7:03 Adam But 10 years, probably fighting with him about the crazy Scientology.

7:07 Drew Or maybe just agreeing to disagree and stay out of it kind of thing.

7:10 Adam Right.

7:10 Drew It seems like he's gotten more into it lately.

7:12 Adam More into it. I blame Mimi Rogers. I really do. She started the whole thing. She got Cruz into it. And then you got Travolta and then Ali and the whole gang.

7:19 Drew She's the one starting.

7:20 Adam Next thing you know, you're losing Beck.

7:22 Drew Is she with him now?

7:23 Adam No, but Beck is the Scientologist.

7:24 Drew He is? Beck.

7:26 Adam Beck. Our Beck.

7:28 Drew Oh my God.

7:29 Adam I know. Jason Lee from Chasing Amy and the Kempis.

7:32 Yeah.

7:33 Adam Giovanni Ribisi.

7:35 Drew What?

7:36 Adam Where will they stop?

7:37 Drew You know, it feels, well, I don't want not to disparage anybody. Of course not. I'm not interested in that, but it feels cultish. I mean, it feels, you know.

7:46 Adam Well, it's declared a cult in Germany, of course. Is it? But yeah. I feel like Scientology is one of those things where when I hear that someone's a Scientologist, my opinion just kind of goes down a couple of notches. I don't think they're evil. No, no. It's one of those things where I go, oh, I didn't know that.

8:00 Drew Well, it's just whenever there's an us-them mentality in any group, when we know the truth and everyone else might try to persuade you away from that, but we know the truth and they're all evil because that's a problem.

8:10 Adam Which I believe is that we're aliens, right? Isn't that the Scientology is that it's all about the aliens and the body fetens and all that?

8:16 Drew Oh, I hope not.

8:17 Adam I believe so.

8:18 Drew That's more the Branch Davidians.

8:21 Adam I, who are still going strong. I, yeah, I, one thing that's been really fun for me about the whole Tom Cruise meltdown is it's fun seeing all the magazines pick up kind of like the tenets of Scientology. So you'll open the star or in touch and they'll say, what we were able to learn this weekend in touch about Scientology. Apparently, Elrod Hubbard thought he was an alien. So, I mean, it's funny because you know, the press has been so gun shy about saying anything about Scientology for so long and now Tom Cruise jumps on the couch and it's all over. We all want to know what makes him tick.

8:47 Drew Yeah, it's interesting. Yeah. Well, all right. Let's take some calls, shall we? All right. Enough about Scientology. This is... This now is Billy's 19. Billy.

8:58 Hey, how's it going?

8:59 Drew Hey, you're on with Kathy Griffin. What's going on?

9:00 Oh, I can't orgasm my girlfriend.

9:03 I have to fake it.

9:04 Drew How come?

9:05 I don't know.

9:06 Like, here's a little story. Like, when I first met her, I noticed she had, like, stress marks on her stomach. And I wondered about that. And then she always had this kid with her. Like, she watches this kid.

9:19 Drew And she says she's her friend. You think that's her baby?

9:21 Well, then here's the thing. I went to a hospital. The kid got sick. They went to the hospital. And the actual mother was there. And then they asked, what was the mother here? And her friend was there. And that's why it's kind of hard for me to feel like it's her kid.

9:33 But I don't know.

9:35 It's just, I just can't do it.

9:37 Drew Why are you with this girl?

9:39 I don't know. I haven't had a girlfriend in like a real long time. So I figured I'd just take back.

9:43 Adam How old are you?

9:44 Drew 19. Isn't nice. Aren't guys sweet?

9:48 Adam I just want to say, every time on the show, out the gate, I can never get a normal call. No offense, Billy.

9:53 Drew Billy's about as normal as we get here.

9:55 Adam I know. Every time I'm sitting here and it's out the gate, I can't orgasm because of stretch marks. I mean, give me five minutes.

10:02 Drew No, but what's weird about this, so it's not the not orgasm part, but that he is so unemotionally attached to this woman and yet just wants a place to sort of dock.

10:09 Adam Yeah.

10:10 Drew What are you going to do?

10:12 Adam Well, you can orgasm with her, right?

10:14 No.

10:15 Adam But on your own, it's party time.

10:17 Oh, yeah.

10:17 Adam Okay. I'm interested to know how you fake it. Do you use a condom?

10:23 Yeah.

10:24 Adam Does she ever want to see the condom?

10:26 What was that?

10:27 Adam Does she ever want to see the proof in the condom?

10:29 No, that's the thing.

10:29 I always have to grab it and run to the bathroom with it.

10:32 Wow.

10:33 Drew He's good, huh? I like to see it.

10:35 Adam I like to see the proof.

10:36 Drew Sheffield is not dead, Kathy. It's not dead in this country.

10:38 Adam So they're gentlemen.

10:39 Drew They're gentlemen. Billy is one of them. Billy, here's the deal. You're not into this girl. I understand you're lonely. I understand that you had to share something with her, but either let's get it together and get into this thing a little bit, have a relationship, or let's move on. It's just not fair to anyone.

10:55 Adam You can have stretch marks at 19.

10:56 Drew It's not the stretch marks that's bothering you.

10:57 Adam What is she, 60?

10:58 Drew Whatever it is about her, she's not really is not anymore. She's just not. Angel, 20.

11:02 Hi.

11:03 Drew Hey, what's going on?

11:04 I am wondering if I may have a sexual addiction that's starting to form.

11:09 Drew Yeah.

11:10 I've been listening to the show for years and years and years, but I just figured I'd call and ask myself.

11:15 Drew All right, here we go.

11:17 I have a serious, serious, serious porno habit. I may watch three or four of them a day.

11:24 Drew Oh, man. How long have you been doing that for?

11:29 Probably since my junior year of high school, so about, what, 17. Yeesh.

11:33 Drew And does it impair your functioning or make it so that you don't have relationships? Are you spending lots of money?

11:39 Oh, no, no, no. I'm in a relationship. No, I just download them all.

11:44 They're all free.

11:45 Drew Do you? They're all free.

11:48 Adam That's the important thing. Next call.

11:50 Drew Do you, they have sex with this partner?

11:53 Adam Drew, are you a man or a woman?

11:54 I'm a female. I know I have a really deep voice, but I'm a-

11:57 Adam I do too. I'm with you. So you're, are you lesbian?

12:00 No, no.

12:01 Adam All right. Sorry, sorry. All right. So you're with a guy.

12:03 Yeah.

12:04 Drew Do you have sex with this guy?

12:05 No.

12:06 Drew No. Okay. And why is that? Too busy with the porn. All right.

12:11 Are you Christian? Yeah.

12:14 Adam That's got to go. Am I right, Drew?

12:17 Drew Catholic has got to go. Christian has got to go.

12:18 Adam All religion has to go. It screws everybody up. It's ridiculous. Trust me. Put down the Bible. Put down the porn.

12:24 Drew You'll be fine. Angel, it's all good. No, no. We're not criticizing your decision to wait until you're married. The question I have though is with this porn compulsion and whatnot, were you sexually abused when you were younger?

12:34 No.

12:35 Drew Were you exposed to pornographic material at a very young age?

12:38 No.

12:39 Drew Were you physically abused anytime?

12:42 I know you consider spanking physical abuse, so I guess I have to technically answer yes.

12:46 Drew Were you spanked with an object? That's sort of where I'm concerned.

12:49 Yeah.

12:49 Drew All right. Were you masturbating as a young child?

12:53 No. That didn't start until I was about 14, I guess.

12:57 Drew Okay. Here's the thing, you're not having consequence. You don't have an overt trauma history. You're not an alcoholic or addict, right?

13:08 Caller Occasional use, but that's about it.

13:11 Adam What does use mean?

13:12 Caller I drink on occasion. I smoke a little weed on occasion, but it's not like addict. If I never smoked again, it wouldn't bother me.

13:20 Drew At least at this point, you should not go on it. It doesn't add up to addiction for me. It was more in the compulsion category. Maybe it's Kathy's on to something with the religion thing. Were you beaten over the head with religious ideas?

13:35 Caller I wouldn't say beaten over the head. It was just something I was always raised around. From the time I can remember, we've always gone to church, and we were always involved in church activities.

13:44 Adam Are you Catholic?

13:45 No, I'm a Pentecostal.

13:46 Adam Oh, those nutbags. You gotta get out of that, baby.

13:49 Drew No, no, no. Boy, Kathy.

13:51 Adam I'm Catholic. They screw up everything.

13:53 Drew Anything to do with religion? No. I'm actually quite a little more magnanimous about all this. I have no problem with religion, but my concern is sometimes you get abused with religion, or people that are aggressive about their religious ideas, and it hurts young children. Listen, I don't think you have a problem. You just got to control yourself to have it.

14:12 Adam She's watching Three Pornos a Day and she's a girl. That's not a woman's nature.

14:15 Drew Some women will do that.

14:17 Adam Angel, I have a question because I am obsessed with what porn does and how it depicts women and stuff. Now, let me ask you this. Do you find that the porn that you're into now is more brutal than it was when you started? Do you find to get you going, you got to have the girls really being hit and all that stuff?

14:35 Caller No, no, that stuff turns my stomach.

14:38 Drew But you do bring up an interesting point. True porn addicts usually get into more and more wilder stuff.

14:43 Adam Then she's getting humiliated and she's getting peed on and all that stuff.

14:45 Drew Or they go towards kids or they go towards what?

14:47 Adam Kids, ew.

14:48 Drew Just I'm saying that people need, because most addicts, porn addicts, particularly internet porn addicts have a sexual abuse history, and so they naturally go down that path towards kids.

14:58 Adam Because I'm fascinated by the garden variety porn, I can see. But I'm not sure what it is that makes people want to watch other people get hurt. No, I don't get it. Kids, or women, or even gay porn, or whatever.

15:10 Drew I cannot relate.

15:10 Adam But I think it's interesting that Angel watches a lot of porn.

15:13 Drew But it's all in the sweet spot for her, it's just normal.

15:15 Adam Okay.

15:16 Drew She's not up in the ante, she's not having consequences, she's not having-

15:19 Adam Angel, don't watch that horrible porn where they beat the women and stuff.

15:22 Drew Here's the bottom line.

15:23 Caller No, no, not any of these.

15:24 Drew Angel, I think you ought to just kind of, it's like any other habit that's getting out of control. Kind of get it together here a little bit. Focus on your relationship, focus on other. Probably what this is is a way to regulate your moods. You've been depressed lately?

15:37 Caller No, not lately, a couple of years back, but not lately.

15:40 Drew All right. It becomes a way of just sort of regulating.

15:43 Adam Have you tried cookie dough? Cookie dough is very tasty and very distracting.

15:49 Drew All right. But the fact is that some people use section, things like that, as a way of regulating. Other people who have been traumatized, as a way to think about this, I cannot, as a human, cannot relate to the goofy stuff. I just, I can't even understand the whole anal sex thing that people are so into these things. Thank you. But the way I come to terms with it is I know that people, when they have powerful experiences as a young child during development, it can sort of, let's say, burn out their arousal centers. That's a way to think about it. So in order to feel intense arousal, you have to up the ante, so to speak.

16:21 Adam So how do you get back from that precipice?

16:22 Drew That's a neurobiological thing. You may not. What?

16:26 Adam So like you start out watching normal porn, then by the time you're 20 or 25, you're watching girls getting peed on and stuff. And then you can never go back to just nice, gentle, normal love making?

16:35 Drew What we don't know is if that person never been exposed to the intense stuff, would they have never urged, gone down some crazy path like that anyway in some other aspect of their life? Or is this just something that was neurobiologically set before they were ever exposed to the porn? And I think the latter is probably the case. So there you go. It's good times, huh? Well, let's get some more religious questions going here. Jessica 18.

17:01 Kathy Griffin Hi.

17:01 Adam Jessica?

17:02 Drew Hey there.

17:03 Kathy Griffin Hi.

17:04 Drew By the way, one second, I was quoted on some articles. I'm treating that celebrity. And I learned a new word. I was described as cloying.

17:15 Adam What does that mean?

17:17 Drew Serf it, saccharin.

17:18 Adam Okay. Too nice.

17:20 Drew So I got to get a little edge going here. Okay.

17:23 Adam I don't think I'm going to be the nice one.

17:25 Drew Well, I just got to be a little less nice.

17:26 Adam Okay.

17:26 Drew Because I don't want to be cloying.

17:28 Adam All right.

17:28 Drew Jessica, what's going on?

17:30 Kathy Griffin My question is whether or not I should tell my parents that I'm gay. Because I've told them previously, like when I was 15 years old, I told my mom, I think maybe I am, I don't know, I'm wondering or not. And she pretty much just told me, you know, go out with a couple of guys, see all that goes, and you know, I love you no matter what, but.

17:55 Drew Well, that's a nice response. There you go.

17:57 Adam How old are you now?

17:58 Kathy Griffin I'm 18 now. So, you know, it's been a-

18:01 Drew I'm sorry, when did that happen?

18:02 Adam She said when she was 15.

18:03 Drew 15? I mean, that's a very-

18:04 Adam Very P-flag. Very enlightened, progressive attitude your mom has. What about your dad, though?

18:11 Drew My dad, you're kidding. Your dad's going to be a relief. Get rid of the penis. Fine. No problem. No problem.

18:16 Kathy Griffin What's that? I didn't really talk to my dad about it. But my dad did bring it up like last year and he said, do you still have these feelings? He's a couple of guys and I said, yeah, I do. He said, well, I'm a Christian and this is wrong.

18:31 Adam Here we go.

18:33 Drew But again, was he just offering his opinion or was he demanding that you sort of cave in to his-

18:39 Kathy Griffin He never told me, you cannot do this.

18:42 Adam You know the Christians are nuts about this stuff. They hate the gays for no reason.

18:46 Kathy Griffin I have friends now that are gay and my dad says, you know, well, maybe you should talk to him, you know, convert him over. I'm like, you can't convert somebody from what they've been their entire life, you know?

18:56 Drew All right. What is your question?

18:57 Adam Should she tell the mom and dad?

18:59 Kathy Griffin Like to tell my mom and dad, because I'm finally in a relationship where I'm happy.

19:04 Drew With a female.

19:04 Kathy Griffin I feel that I'm comfortable with a woman. Are you living at home? I feel comfortable with it.

19:09 Drew Are you living at home?

19:11 Kathy Griffin Yes, I am.

19:12 Drew When you're not living at home, then you tell your parents.

19:15 Kathy Griffin I'm moving to college in a couple of days, so.

19:17 Drew Perfect. Then when you're away for a while and get some support from what we usually recommend is people get support from other homosexual male and females who've been through this. So if it doesn't go the way you want it to.

19:26 Adam I bet the school has a group, right?

19:28 Drew Yeah, I'm sure there's always organizations that... Where are you going to school? Madison?

19:32 Kathy Griffin Cass College and...

19:34 Adam Oh, Christ.

19:35 Drew Beautiful.

19:36 Adam What are you nuts? You got to switch out of there. You'd be better off going back to high school.

19:41 Kathy Griffin Yeah, I know.

19:41 Drew Well, there's gay and lesbian youth centers in most of the world.

19:43 Adam I just want to say when they start to quote Leviticus, just tell them the next thing in Leviticus is how we should also own slaves.

19:48 Drew All right?

19:48 Adam So when the Christians start the crap about Leviticus, it says, you know, they're so full of it, these crazy Christians, all religions.

19:55 Kathy Griffin I have another question.

19:55 Drew Kathy, so bitter. I thought you were...

19:58 Adam Religion is ruining the whole world.

19:59 Drew Well, it certainly has got a problem right now.

20:02 Adam She sounds like a nice lesbian.

20:03 Drew Fundamentalism is ruining the world. And it's interesting, the only... Do you realize the only religion...

20:07 Adam There was some of the priests and nuns in my school were nutbags.

20:10 Drew But they're probably fundamentalists. The only religions that have fundamentalism are monotheistic religions. There's no such thing as a polytheism. Hindu fundamentalists, Buddhist fundamentalists, they don't exist.

20:19 Adam Yeah, but the Buddhists also make the seven-year-olds be monks. Okay? They're all bad, Drew.

20:24 Kathy Griffin I also have a question that has to do with the gay issue.

20:28 Drew Go ahead.

20:29 Kathy Griffin I was sexually abused when I was very young, when I was three, four, and five.

20:35 Drew By whom?

20:37 Kathy Griffin By a guy that was our babysitter.

20:41 Drew Beautiful thing.

20:42 Adam Three.

20:43 Kathy Griffin My brother was also sexually abused, but he is straight and he doesn't have like, I know he has problems with it because it just seems like that. Because I'm his sister and we're really close because we both got abused.

20:59 Drew And my older brother- As you know, if you listen to this show, what tends to happen from that is you can have difficulty with their sexual identity, confusion about it, and or really it's sort of a recipe for creating, I lack of a better way of saying this, becoming homosexual and it wires it in. It's not something you can unwire as you pointed out, Jessica. And it can have about a 60 percent probability of making one preoccupied sexually towards children. So it's something to watch out with your brother, maybe talk to him about it if he can get some help with that. Because it can be treated, that part can be brought along a little bit.

21:33 Kathy Griffin Do you think that because I was sexually abused, that is why I do not like men?

21:40 Drew Well, it's not that simple, but you know, there's sort of two ways that people seem to become homosexual, particularly homosexual males, they get sexually abused, and then that affects their sexual orientation, or they're born that way. Some people are born that way, or some combination of gene environment interaction. But on this show, we talk mostly to people who have been sexually abused and then have sexual identities.

21:59 Adam Is Jessica's brother going to molest kids?

22:01 Drew Well, that's the question, and only she's going to be able to get at that, I suspect. There's treatment, Jessica, for that, if he is going that way. Please get him to help before he hurts somebody. That's the bottom line.

22:13 Adam Three years old.

22:14 Drew I know, real quickly. Here's Nancy 22. Nancy, what's going on there?

22:19 Caller I'm here.

22:19 Drew Yep, we're here, too. Kathy Griffin, the great Kathy Griffin.

22:22 Adam Hey, Nancy.

22:23 Caller Oh, hey.

22:25 Drew Who lives on the D-list.

22:26 I'm a huge fan.

22:27 Adam Oh, thank you.

22:29 You as well, Kathy.

22:30 Caller You're super, super funny.

22:31 Adam Oh, I said thank you to the Dr. Drew part. Okay, I'm sorry. Go ahead. That's D-list. I'm just saying thank you. Oh, I'm an expert on this. Good. I get like one a month.

22:41 Caller Oh, my God.

22:42 Okay, me too.

22:43 Adam Okay, they're a nightmare, right? They're a hellish nightmare.

22:47 Caller It's so painful, and I have been getting them since I've been 18, and I get them after I have sex. And I've been to lots of different doctors, and nobody's been able to give me a reason why. And I think it's related to penis size.

23:04 Caller Dr. Drew, does that sound...

23:06 Drew Well, yes, it is related to pressure on the urethra, and that it can be caused by position. It can be caused by what somebody does with their hand or their mouth, and it can be caused by what somebody does with their penis. And some women just get this. They just tend to have a certain amount of reflux of bacterial from the vagina into the bladder, and they just get it. There are women who take antibiotics every day to avoid this, and women who take, and or take just after intercourse every time as a way of trying to avoid this.

23:33 Adam May I interject?

23:34 Drew Kathy?

23:34 Adam I consider myself to be something of an expert. I will say to you, Nancy, Nancy? Yeah, when I was a younger woman and I was having sex with several men, none of whom believed in God.

23:46 Drew When she was a hoe, when she was a hoe.

23:47 Adam When I was a hoe in the 80s. No, I know one thing that I used to do was when I was, I would not be so open with the guy about, look, you can't be so rough with your hand, you can't be so rough with your mouth, and you really need to make sure I'm good and lubed up. Because I think some of it is if you're not lubed up enough and there's so much friction that sometimes you don't want to stop the guy and some of these young guys want to go for like 17 hours in a row.

24:12 Drew That's how to go in, too long is a good way.

24:14 Adam Too long is the way you get and the other thing is, I got some really simple great advice which was, just make sure that right after you're done with it, of course, you pee right away. Make sure you pee.

24:25 Caller I do that. I've tried everything from peeing before and peeing after.

24:29 Drew How are you being treated now? What's that? How are you being treated now?

24:33 Caller Well, the doctor wanted to do the antibiotic thing every single night, well, after I have sex, but I didn't want to do that because I know antibiotics, if you take it for so long, I mean, I've already been on antibiotics way too much for being 22 years old, and I'm feeling, I mean, it's going to take all my body.

24:49 Drew No, it tends not to. The two antibiotics that are used for this, one is called macrodentin, and that one has a side effect on the liver and lungs, which you either get or you don't get, and if you don't get it, it can be tolerated for long periods of time without any significant effect. The other that they use after intercourse is called SEPTRA, or Bactrum, and that one also has no known effect, provides you're not allergic to it. All of these can affect the resistance patterns of bacteria in your bowel, in your bladder, and whatnot.

25:20 Adam What about the way she's wiping? Is that an issue?

25:22 Drew Sure. That's an issue for the environment, for all of us, but that's not an issue for you so much.

25:27 Adam I will say that I used to get them all the time, and now I don't get them.

25:30 Drew Have you tried changing positions?

25:33 Caller Yeah, I've tried everything, different positions. I don't get it all the time after sex. I get it from, I was getting it continuously with this one guy, and then once I changed partners, I never got it from him, and now I'm with this new guy.

25:43 Drew There you go, it was the devil penis. It was the devil penis. Yeah. It was.

25:46 Caller I'm with this new guy now, and he, I get it, I've had it twice already from him, but it's just such a hassle.

25:52 Drew Well, here's what I suggest you do, is you pay very careful attention to what you're doing that causes your infection, be prepared to have to take antibiotics a few more times, and see if you can figure out what the two of you are doing mechanically and then not do that, and you should be much, much better. Okay?

26:08 Caller Okay.

26:09 Drew All right.

26:10 Adam Nancy, by the way, Oh, it's a nightmare.

26:12 Drew as you're finding Nancy a common problem, even the great Kathy Griffin had one.

26:15 Adam Oh, plague. Last time I had it to the hospital, I had one. It went into my liver and my kidney and the whole thing.

26:22 Drew That's good times.

26:23 Adam So much fun being on the IV in a hospital.

26:25 Drew Being a woman.

26:26 Yeah. Yeah.

26:27 Drew I'm telling you, women take the lion's share. So many things. We have so much to talk about. All right. Kathy Griffin is my guest tonight. Adam Corolla is off buying exotic cars in Pebble Beach.

26:36 Adam He gets to just take off work for that?

26:37 Drew Well, he has a lot of vacation time.

26:38 Adam Well, what if I just want to leave and go to Krispy Kreme right now?

26:42 Drew You're welcome to. I mean, you could because you're here as a kindness of your heart. He has vacation time. All right. The phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191. I'll be right back with Kathy Griffin.

26:55 Love Line will be right back.

26:57 So get your problems ready. Ready. Heat things up with new Durex warming condoms.

27:03 Caller There's sex and then there's Durex.

27:28 Drew Man, it's Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Kathy Griffin is our guest and co-host, and we're delighted to have her.

27:34 Adam Dilling out a lot of very healthy advice.

27:36 Drew Great from the D-list, healthy advice from the D-list. And let's see, let's get going straight to it.

27:42 I love anal sex.

27:44 Adam Okay.

27:45 Drew I don't think that was Kathy.

27:45 Adam That was not a call.

27:46 Drew No. Just a sec, just a sidebar here. I am so interested in how profoundly different men and women are. You know what I mean? And don't you think that particularly sort of for the last 30 or 40 years, we've been telling everybody that men and women are the same?

28:01 Adam That's insane.

28:02 Drew It is insane, right? But don't you remember that in the 70s?

28:05 Adam Yes.

28:05 Drew Everybody's the same.

28:06 Adam Turns out we've done all the studies in Masters and Johnson and we're all the same. We have the same sex drive.

28:10 Drew Except the-

28:10 Adam We want the same thing.

28:11 Drew Same way, same thing, except the man, some society has converted one group into one set of priorities. Right. It's like, no, no, no. The thing I always tell people is, look, there's things called chromosomes that have a couple thousand genes on it. We differ from our closest chimpanzee relative by a couple hundred genes. I differ from Kathy by an entire chromosome with thousands of genes on it.

28:37 Adam Yes.

28:38 Drew It's different.

28:39 Adam The one that I'm really irritated with lately is the one where guys can never be couple before anything because we're just animals. Well, sure, I cheated on my wife 14 times, but you know what? We're animals. We do that.

28:50 Drew Huge mistake. Huge mistake. Right. Guys would also crap on the floor and pee on people too, and stuff if they could. You know what I mean?

28:55 Adam So you're saying they are animals?

28:56 Drew I'm saying they have all kinds of impulses.

28:58 Adam And ladies are pretty flowers.

28:59 Drew No. I'm saying they have all kinds of impulses that need to be contained. The fact they don't contain them doesn't make them not responsible. Right. There's a guy named Lionel Tiger, actually out of my show. I have a show on Discovery Health Channel.

29:10 Adam The sex show?

29:11 Drew Yeah. I got to pick up my own guests and stuff, and I got a guy who's a famous biological anthropologist. Wrote a book called The Client of Males. He said that throughout human history, throughout the female human has tamed the male. It's the females have set the priorities and males have responded.

29:27 Adam Well, we have to. We can't leave it up to you guys. You kidding?

29:30 Drew We won't.

29:31 Adam No, you would bathe.

29:31 Drew That's right. We run them up.

29:32 Adam Right. You'd all be dead from scurvy if you don't clean.

29:35 Drew Why aren't women better to one another?

29:37 Adam That is the mystery. It is the bane of my existence. It is my Achilles heel.

29:41 Drew It's the greatest mystery.

29:42 Adam Women turning on women. We are our own worst enemy. We turn on each other before a man.

29:48 Drew Yes. Double standard credit by women.

29:50 Adam It drives me crazy. If you watch Survivor, it's the women, all those men stick together like glue and the women all turn on each other. I don't know because there's only strength if we stick together. That's the only way.

29:59 Drew That's exactly right.

30:00 Adam I mean, the idea that the Supreme Court and men are deciding about women's issues is absurd to me and yet we let it happen. All those Republican women, we love our John Roberts. We love, we trust him. We trust our president. He knows better than I do. How? How is that even possible?

30:14 Drew It's another interesting part of this too, is that women spend all their time obsessing about men. You read any women's magazine, it's not.

30:21 Adam But it's like trying to please them in a way that truly sacrifices themselves. What? Not trying to please them. I always say that you should, if your boyfriend should at least be as nice to you as your girlfriends. If you had a girlfriend, meaning girl, if you're a girl and you have girlfriends and they cancel on you and they never pick up the tab for lunch, you dump them. But with guys, well, he didn't call, but he just got busy and he was watching the game. No, same standards.

30:44 Drew And then subjugating all your own needs for his.

30:46 Adam That is so crazy. What is that? It is our downfall. I feel like the women's movement is going backwards, and it's so frustrating to me.

30:54 Drew Isn't it part of it that every movement that removes itself from reality on behalf of ideology gets a backlash?

31:00 Adam By ideology, I think you know we're talking about Jesus.

31:03 Drew No, I'm talking about the feminism.

31:04 Adam But you know the religious thing is screwing women.

31:06 Drew But the fact that-

31:06 Adam It's so screwing women.

31:08 Drew I think the feminism just got detached from reality, so people went, hey, this is BS. Forget it.

31:11 Adam Right. I remember one time being a kid and someone saying, well, I believe that women are equal, but I'm not one of those feminists. But I thought, how did being a feminist turn into being a bad thing?

31:22 Drew Right.

31:23 Adam It's a good thing.

31:23 Drew Because it needs to be a new version of it that's connected to reality.

31:27 Adam I guess, but I don't want to be one of those bra burners. That's what I always heard when I was a kid. What's so hard about burning your bra? Who cares? You get a new one.

31:34 Drew Did you ever go through a feminist phase?

31:36 Adam I'm constantly in a feminist phase.

31:37 Drew I mean, in the traditional sense.

31:39 Adam Like what?

31:40 Drew Now, kind of feminist.

31:41 Adam Well, I live as a feminist. But the life that I lead is extremely non-traditional.

31:46 Drew But no, but that feminism of that day and age was fearful of discussing, for instance, the reality of the biological differences between men and women. That's where all that stuff about where all the same came from. So you're sort of a newer version. You're saying, let's look at what's real and let's empower women.

32:03 Adam But also, I'm not so down with Madonna was empowering. I'm not down with that whole, the whole Britney is empowering because she's slutty but she's rich. Right. I don't buy that whole thing, that whole BS of the girl's fighting to be with the thug because he's cool, and somehow they're accepted if they're in a bikini rubbing their butt against the thug. That makes no sense to me.

32:28 Drew Yeah.

32:28 Adam I'm like, no, you're letting them win at their own game.

32:30 Drew Of course.

32:31 Adam Yeah. There's no equity. That whole thing has changed just in my lifetime. Also, there's no one, like when I was a kid, it was Gloria Steinem. Gloria Steinem, she's a role model, and she's attractive, and she's smart, and she started the magazine. I don't, can you think of one person who's like that? We don't have a Gloria Steinem. We don't even have one. I mean, Gwen Stefani is cool.

32:50 Drew You know what you have is a greater variety of those now. I mean, in a way, Hillary Clinton is one.

32:56 Adam Yes.

32:57 Drew And Gwen Stefani is one, but on different disciplines. You know what I mean?

33:01 Adam But Gwen Stefani also has a song where she repeats over and over and over, shut up, you stupid hoe. I mean, that's not something Gloria Steinem would have done.

33:10 Drew I'm just saying it's time for some new and open ideas about family. I'm just saying. All right, here you go. This now is Logan who's 15. What's up, Logan? Hey.

33:19 Caller What's going on?

33:20 Adam Hey, Logan.

33:21 Caller Hey, obviously I have a question, so that's why I'm on here.

33:26 Adam Right on.

33:27 Drew Very funny.

33:28 Caller Yeah. Thanks. I'm going out with two or three girls right now, and I'm really sexually active. But in my band that I'm in, it's all guys. I seriously, I just have an urge for them. It's just like I want to have sex with them. I don't know what's up with that.

33:48 Caller Yeah.

33:49 Caller I was wondering if you can help me out.

33:51 Drew Well, either this is bogus.

33:53 Adam I'm going to let you take this one, Drew.

33:54 Drew Either this is bogus.

33:55 Adam Now, I'm interested to know how you and Adam know the bogus calls. Because I can't tell.

33:59 Drew Because how they make me feel.

34:00 Adam Is it a visceral?

34:01 Drew Okay. But I'm on the fence on this one.

34:04 Caller Okay.

34:06 Drew Or you were sexually abused growing up. In which case this-

34:09 Caller Yes, I was. My father.

34:11 Drew Okay. So this all starts to make sense then. And then the reason I'm not feeling it is his confusion or the way he expressed himself, whatever. Or it's still going to be bogus. He could be saying this just to-

34:20 Adam Because he knows you guys love the sexual abuse.

34:23 Drew I love it. I love it. So Logan, have you ever dealt with that? Have you ever had treatment for the trauma? I mean, just having a dad who's a perpetrator like that is pretty heavy.

34:33 Caller Well, the only thing like just they separated when I was like four months old. Like it was like while I was a baby. I think like that's what my mom always tells me. I don't know why.

34:42 Drew Oh, really?

34:43 Caller It's really like-

34:44 Drew Are you hypersexual now? I mean, are you sexually compulsive?

34:49 Caller Kind of. I don't know. I don't know. I'm not sure really, dude.

34:54 All right.

34:56 Drew Here's the deal. Is you sound confused. You're 15. Really what you need to do is nothing right now because-

35:06 Adam All right.

35:07 Drew I'm just looking for evidence that this is Cogs. Any minute I'm expecting something.

35:10 Adam I know because it's kind of like he whispered to one of his friends. Yeah.

35:12 Drew I'm going to put him on hold for a second. In calls like this, if this is true, what you need to do, Logan, is nothing. Not have girlfriends, not have boyfriends. It's fine you're in a band. It's fine to be attracted to everybody, but don't act on it. That's just going to add to your confusion. If you really are interested in changing, you say, what's up with that? You want to know what to do and how to change. Get somebody with mental health experience, maybe even from school, to sit and talk to you for a while and let you sort these feelings out before you hurt yourself or somebody else. Okay?

35:40 Adam Rehearsal's over.

35:41 Drew Good. Thank you. I still think that was bogus. Didn't you feel kind of un-like?

35:47 Adam Yeah. I don't know.

35:48 Drew Somebody really is desperate.

35:49 Adam All I know is the gay guys I know and as you know, I know and have an army of them. Really? I know. It's a shock.

35:55 Drew It's shocking.

35:55 Adam The gay guys I know really don't want to sleep with women. I cannot tell you how much they don't want to sleep with women. So what I'm hearing, I'm 15, I'm attracted to guys but I sleep with lots of women.

36:05 Drew Well, but that's- That's not my gaze. I don't really put him in the gay category, I put him in sort of confused. He may become more clear about his orientations, but he's alone but he's now confused.

36:15 Adam See if the band gets a deal.

36:16 Drew That's right. Chris is 27.

36:19 Yeah.

36:19 Drew Chris? Hey, what's up there? Chris, a female. What's going on?

36:22 I let my husband have an affair because he had never been with anybody else.

36:27 Drew Chris.

36:28 Caller We split up and we got back together about eight months ago, but now I'm having a hard time trusting him.

36:34 Drew Now, let's deconstruct this.

36:36 Adam Did you guys get married when you were really young?

36:38 Yeah, I was 16.

36:40 Drew Here's all the earmarks of what the story you're describing.

36:44 Adam Jesus?

36:44 Drew No. He's behind everything. As somebody gets married at 16 is running away from home, into a marriage, and she runs away, and that means there's abuse in the home. So she runs away, she's used to chaos and abuse, she gets a nice guy who's actually available, can't tolerate that, has to make sure she sabotages it, encourages him to have an affair, and then freaks out when he does it. So perfect, you've done it, you've re-created the chaos from your family of origin, and there you go, Chris, well done.

37:12 Adam Now, did your dad have affairs?

37:15 No, my mom and dad have been married like five or six times apiece.

37:19 Drew Yeah, chaos. What was the abuse you were running away from?

37:21 Just nobody ever been there.

37:24 Caller I mean, it was like, I got bounced around from house to house to house.

37:27 Drew Just chaos, chaos. Well, here you go, you're creating it in your current marriage, and is your husband an available nice guy?

37:35 Yeah, he's a nice guy, but he was really shy and.

37:39 Drew Yeah, so he's not enough chaos for you. You got to juice it up, got to get it going there, Chris.

37:42 Adam So if this is all she's ever known, how does she change?

37:46 Drew This, Chris, requires therapy. You need treatment for this. You're going to screw this marriage up.

37:51 Caller I've already gone through counseling and everything.

37:54 Drew Gone through it? How many years?

37:57 Working on third year.

37:59 Drew Third year. You're going through counseling. You're just getting there. I'm sure you're addressing this in therapy, the craziness of having your husband go have an affair, and then not be able to forgive him, have to encourage him to do it. It's all natural given the chaos you're from, but really what's motivating this, and this is something that kills me, Kathy. Really, in our society, we don't talk about what motivates, we talk about feelings. We're into that now.

38:20 Adam Symptoms and panaceas.

38:21 Drew What motivates you? What makes us from moment to moment choose things we choose? Then we have Dr. Phil out there, not to disparage, but it's like, oh, that ain't whole.

38:30 Adam Come on, that fool.

38:31 Drew But as he's saying, he always says, you just need to choose. Well, what motivates the choices and what's prevents you from making good choices is really something neurobiological, something very much deeper. And in Chris's case, she can't tolerate closeness. Proximity of other people is too much, so you got to inject some chaos.

38:46 Adam She also hasn't had any. So every time she got close to somebody, they moved or she had to move.

38:49 Drew Of course, but she compulsively has to recreate that. It's repetition, compulsion, and now she's done it. So the only way to undo that is with a skillful clinician, I just want to put something out there.

38:59 Adam I know people that are in therapy and they've been in therapy for a while and they don't get better.

39:03 Drew Yep, it happens.

39:04 Adam But okay.

39:04 Drew Some people are not candidates for therapy.

39:06 Adam But also sometimes don't you think it's bad if the therapist just sort of agrees with everything you say?

39:11 Drew Yeah, there's talent.

39:12 Adam I mean, and also there are therapists that probably don't know when you're fooling them. Like I had a really brilliant friend once who went to MIT and he would sort of get off on fooling his therapist.

39:20 Drew Well, but that is to the patient's detriment only, you know what I mean? Why bother, number one. But number two, drug addicts do that all the time. That's why drug addicts can't be treated with therapy, because they BS and manipulate and their brain is demanding they get back to drugs, and it's easy to BS somebody who's not a recovering person. So if you get another recovering person in front of you, sponsor, who can see all the earmarks and knows when you're in your disease and when you're not, you can't pull that crap off.

39:46 Adam But my question is if she's in counseling now or therapy for a couple of years, maybe time to switch to therapist?

39:51 Drew Maybe, maybe. She doesn't sound like somebody who's really highly motivated to change. She doesn't really put all those pieces together. We put together in a minute and a half. Yeah, I mean, you may need somebody, different people in different kinds of therapies. And I frankly don't fully get how you choose what for whom. There's cognitive behavioral therapy.

40:10 Adam But to me, if after a certain amount of time, six months, a year, whatever, and you see no change, if you're unable- Somebody's not working the therapy. The therapist isn't working it or you're be essaying something.

40:19 Drew It's usually the patient. But sometimes, some people have cognitive behavioral therapies where you bring things to consciousness and make different choices and understand things. That's very popular right now. There's a lot of evidence that that works and works efficiently. I'm not a huge fan of that.

40:33 Adam Of what?

40:33 Drew Of the cognitive behavioral therapies.

40:34 Adam What does that mean?

40:35 Drew It's like saying, well, let's take Chris who we were talking to. Chris, can you see the connections between what you're doing here? Well, let's look at things you might be able to make changes to do things better and to understand what that is. After you make those changes, we'll come back and talk about them and see how that felt as opposed to somebody just sitting and listening to you and forming a deeper relationship, which I think what Chris actually needs is a real capacity to tolerate intimacy. That doesn't happen so much with the cognitive behavioral therapies. Now, all the radios have turned off all of the country. I've successfully bored everybody. We'll take another break. We've got Darcy on hold. You can only orgasm with her legs closed.

41:12 Adam I'd like to see a picture of that.

41:13 Drew We will talk to her about it.

41:14 Adam At least a mental picture.

41:15 Drew 1800LOVE191. Dr. Drew here with Kathy Griffin and we will return.

41:20 Hello, this is your radio. Love Line will be right back.

41:59 Drew In fact, we are here with Kathy Griffin, the great Kathy Griffin, Hello. 1-800-LOVE-191. And we are talking to Darcy, who can only orgasm with her legs closed. And Kathy wants a picture.

42:09 Adam I want your secret, Darcy, because I don't see this as a problem. I hope that this is just a helpful tip.

42:14 Well, I can't be in a orgasm in a mission, I have to decide.

42:18 Caller And it's just, it's frustrating.

42:20 Can you hear me?

42:21 Drew I'm going to- No, you need to get to a spot where- Yeah, we can't hear you. You need to get to a spot where you got a better cell phone reception or get to a landline or something. And we're going to go to another call now while we're waiting for her to do that. Even though Kathy's holding her breath, waiting for those tips.

42:36 Adam I want to know.

42:37 Drew Well, let me talk about that for a second. A lot of women, I think that's one of the reasons that women have difficulty having orgasm with intercourse. They can't quite get their legs in that locked position they like.

42:48 Adam I don't have orgasm from intercourse ever.

42:50 Drew You have what?

42:51 Adam Ever, ever. It's an oral and manual.

42:53 Drew Most women, that is most women.

42:54 Adam I feel like it's a whole different area. You have the area where you're orgasm, and then a few centimeters down is a whole other party.

43:01 Drew That's the receptive area.

43:02 Adam Yes.

43:02 Drew The receiving.

43:03 Adam The receiving area and the orgasm area are a little too far apart.

43:07 Drew You got to know that.

43:08 Adam Not six inches apart. I'm a freak, but I do really think a lot of women lie about it. I think a lot of women, you get them alone, private conversation and then they'll go, well, I don't really orgasm through intercourse either.

43:21 Drew Most women do not.

43:22 Adam Most women don't.

43:23 Drew Yet the Women's Magazine suggests that everyone should, if you just do the right technique.

43:26 Adam If you do this, and then you do.

43:28 Drew There's some good data that just came out recently that shows that, in fact, it has nothing to do with technique or very little, and it's all genetically predetermined.

43:34 Adam Oh, thank God.

43:35 Drew Most women do not have orgasm with intercourse.

43:37 Adam No.

43:37 Drew But they do have an experience all women have that bewilder men, and that is this experience of receiving, this receptivity thing, which I suspect is what allows women to have intercourse occasionally, not orgasm and still be satisfied. And for a man, that is, what? No. And that's when the guy comes on like, we got to make sure you have an orgasm. That's impossible. You're just not telling you, but you must be very frustrated and unhappy.

44:00 Adam I think it's great to have, you have a lot of satisfaction from intercourse without an orgasm, but it's better with an orgasm. I'm just saying, in my experience, when you don't get the orgasm, but you have the nice intercourse, the guy is sleeping at the wheel.

44:11 Drew But again, there's a spectrum.

44:14 Adam It's pleasurable, but it wouldn't kill him to get down there.

44:16 Drew But how could it be? How could it not frustrate? I mean, some women insist on the orgasm. They insist. But a lot of women go, no, no, no, that's fine. That's really totally satisfying without it. What?

44:26 Adam That's when you're like, that's like first date. No, I mean, you don't necessarily have to have the orgasm. You just have a nice intercourse, fun time.

44:31 Drew It's not you. Because you're saying that that's not okay for you. And again, because women have those two X chromosomes, there's all this diversity amongst women. Each woman is very different than the other because the thing that makes her a female is this huge bit of genetic material that men don't have.

44:46 Adam But are you saying that some women actually claim that they prefer to just have regular intercourse without the orgasm?

44:51 Drew But that they can genuinely say, and let's have some callers ring in on this one, they'll say, I don't really want to, I don't need an orgasm, I'm perfectly satisfied with what we just did.

45:01 Adam I'd say it's satisfying. I don't know if I'd go perfectly.

45:05 Drew That's you.

45:05 Adam That's me.

45:06 Drew Let's see if anybody can say perfectly satisfying. All right. Let's go to Becca, who's 18. Becca? What's going on there?

45:15 Caller Hey, I'm 18. I've been sexually active since I was about 15 years old. From that time, I've had a problem. First of all, you said previously that multiple window organs join sex, so good, that's not a huge problem. But I switch partners so often that I had to sit down and make a list, because I couldn't remember all of them, and it freaked me out how long this list went.

45:36 Adam How many was it?

45:37 Caller Oh, God, I think 20.

45:39 Drew Okay, there's that.

45:40 Adam That's a lot by 18, right?

45:41 Drew That's a lot by 18. I didn't say that people don't have orgasm with sex, they don't have it with intercourse. Women don't have it with intercourse.

45:50 Adam But also, obviously, a lot of women don't have orgasm with sex at all.

45:53 Drew Under 22. After that, it's a really small number.

45:56 Adam Okay.

45:57 Drew Now, are you not orgasm at all, Becca?

45:59 Caller I don't orgasm during intercourse with a male, I don't.

46:02 Drew But you will with oral sex? With a woman?

46:08 Caller I've never been with another woman.

46:09 Drew Because she said with a male.

46:10 Caller I've never had oral sex performed on me. I'm a giver.

46:14 Drew You've never had oral sex.

46:15 Adam Oh, that's high school. Now, what about Manuel?

46:19 Caller Pardon?

46:20 Adam What about Manuel? His hands?

46:22 Caller Not from someone else. If it's from me, fine. Perfect. I know exactly what to do, though.

46:25 Caller Good to go.

46:26 Caller And usually, the problem is I don't stay with someone long enough for them to know.

46:29 Drew Right.

46:29 Adam Plus, she's with 18-year-old guys, and they suck at bed.

46:32 Drew Yes, absolutely. And she just said the other thing, which is that she will not stay with somebody long enough to develop that rapport where she can get things done.

46:40 Adam And they can practice.

46:41 Drew Why not?

46:42 Caller I'm just kind of worried that I'm going to form some sort of self-abusing thing because I know it's not mentally healthy to go, because I'll stay with someone for maybe a month or less.

46:51 Drew Why not? Tell me, then why not form a relationship?

46:56 Caller I have, but I've had two very serious relationships, and they both ended disastrously where I was completely-

47:03 Drew All right, Becca, hold on. We actually have to go again to break, and I know, I want to go back to Becca. We will after, so don't hang up on her, please. Becca, hang on. We're going to do this quick break, and we will pick up with you in just a second with Kathy Griffin.

47:16 All right, guys, here's the deal.

47:17 Caller You looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

47:21 Drew One call is all you need to make.

47:22 Caller Call the Dateline.

47:23 Caller 877-889-DATE.

47:26 Call the Dateline.

48:09 Drew That's right, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Kathy Griffin here, sitting in for Mr. Corolla, who's at a Pebble Beach car rally with all his hoity-toit friends, literally millionaires, literally, literally. And we were talking to back of who is 18, had a lot of sex, a lot of different people, but two disastrous relationships amongst those, right?

48:33 Caller Yep.

48:34 Adam So you've been burned by love, so you wanna just go from guy to guy maybe?

48:39 Caller I'm hoping that's the extent of it.

48:41 Drew Well, here's the deal. If your dad took off when you were 8 or 10 or something, it could be a little more serious than that. So what happened?

48:49 Caller My parents got divorced when I was 12 and then we moved to a different town, and my sister also went with him.

48:54 Drew Well, there you go. There you go. So you've got these issues of extreme feelings of tender abandonment when it comes to men. So when a guy lets you down, it re-exposes you. Listen, when you're 16 and you have a relationship, it's supposed to break up. It's a healthy thing. But for you, it's devastation because it reawakens all those horrible feelings about when dad left. That's really the problem here is that you can't be more flexible about your feelings and realize, okay, we were 16, it didn't work out. I'm going to find a guy with whom it can work out.

49:25 Caller When I was 16, it wasn't so devastating because when I got into relationship, I realized that and I said, this is not going to be a serious thing at all. But the guy I was dating when I was 16, he or 15, he turned out to be gay. So that was kind of a shock. Then when I was 17 till I was 18, I dated someone else and it was a little more serious. That didn't hurt a lot. But it's, I don't know, my dad was abusive when I was a child.

49:47 Drew Becca, you described those two relationships as devastating. So now don't back off from that. The fact is you have all these issues about men, abusive dad who abandon you, you find men who are not available, and then you feel abandoned. Well, there you go. This is how humans are wired. We have something called a repetition compulsion. When something bad happens to us as a kid, we repeat it over and over and over again.

50:07 Adam Because we're trying to make it right.

50:09 Drew I think it's even more fundamental. We're just wired up that way once it happens, and we just are required by our brain to do it over and over. And it's time to stop, all right? It's time to actually go have a relationship. And if you can't, that's when therapy kicks in. That's okay, too.

50:23 Adam She doesn't have to jump into a relationship.

50:25 Drew No, no, no, no. You're absolutely right.

50:26 Adam She can hang around with groups.

50:27 Drew But if she's hanging with multiple guys, that's going to make it.

50:30 Adam Going guy to guy is bad.

50:31 Drew That's bad. And doing nothing for a while is a good thing. But if you really have trouble with closeness to other people, that's a time to consider therapy. This is Roger, 16.

50:40 Caller Hi, how's it going, Dr. Drew? Hey, Roger. Yeah, so it's common because I don't know if you've heard of a philosopher whose name is Hegel.

50:46 Drew Yeah, I know Hegel.

50:47 Caller You know Hegel? Okay, I don't know if you're familiar with his philosophy of mastering a slave.

50:52 Drew No, that's Nietzsche. Nietzsche had mastered. Hegel is the spirit of history, for which the Owl of Minerva spreads its wings only with the setting of dusk. The spirit knows itself through the cunning of we's wisdom.

51:05 Adam Stop showing off because we have a teenager who wants to talk about master and slave and I'm getting nervous because I think he's got like a 14-year-old in the basement chained up.

51:12 Drew No, Nietzsche felt that our current morality was based on a master slave mentality that came out of the early part of civilization, where everything about the people in power was bad, and everything about the people who were the underdogs was good, and that became the basis of our morality, and he calls that the master slave morality.

51:30 Caller Well, actually, I learned something different. What it was, that I don't know. We didn't really study Nietzsche, but what I learned about Hegel is actually kind of different. What it is is that when people are young or when they're babies, they establish themselves either a master or a slave, and when they grow up, they search for their counterpart. Like if you're a slave, you search for a master, and if you're a master, you search for a slave, and I thought that fit in well with one of your theories where if like girls are abused when they're younger, they'll search for chaotic things.

51:58 Drew It's true. I've never read Hegel's specific stuff on that, but that's very interesting.

52:02 Adam Well, then I guess you've been served by a 15-year-old.

52:03 Drew I'm going to go read more Hegel. Read more Hegel. Thank you. That was very interesting. Eddie Hegel was a smart guy.

52:09 Adam I just want to make sure he doesn't have a 13-year-old in the basement chained up. Can we just clarify that, please?

52:14 Caller No. No 13-year-old chained up.

52:15 Adam Okay.

52:16 Drew Good.

52:16 Adam Thanks.

52:16 Drew All right, Roger. Thanks a lot. It's interesting. I will read more Hegel. That's what that means. This is, let's see. Well, here is somebody who says she's fine without the orgasm. Jill, 19. Right? Hi there. What's going on, Jill?

52:31 Oh, hi. Yeah. No, I totally agree with what you were saying that it's totally, I have orgasms, but every once in a while I won't or something, and I'm totally fine without having it, and I'm someone that can have them also.

52:47 Drew And so don't your male partners will freak out when you say, no, no, that's fine, that's it?

52:51 No, yeah, I totally understand what you mean by that too, but I think it also, like a huge part of it is like the relationship you're in, like I'm in a great, like really loving relationship, you know, so he understands that too.

53:02 Adam Of course.

53:02 You know where you won't freak out about that or whatever, but I think that has a lot to do with the whole, like you can have one without, I mean, you can be satisfied without actually having an orgasm.

53:12 Adam You're sure he's not just being lazy sometimes and kind of phoning it in?

53:15 Caller No, I promise.

53:16 Like honestly, like.

53:17 Drew No, here's what this is.

53:18 Caller He can offer to, you know, whatever, but he also like I think understands like, okay, you know, it's fine without actually going through that. Like, I don't know.

53:28 Drew And Jill, here's what I want you to do, is next time Kathy Griffin's on, I want you to be the first caller because she wants some normal callers to start with. And Jill's nice and normal.

53:37 Adam I'm so glad she didn't get, you know, ass raped by her father 10 minutes ago.

53:40 Drew No, nothing like that. I guarantee it.

53:42 Adam She didn't just come back from the hospital. She has AIDS. I can't believe I haven't gotten that call yet. I just got ass raped 10 minutes ago. I have AIDS call.

53:48 Caller Yeah, it's okay. This show would be boring if it was all a bunch of me calling in.

53:52 Drew Well, it's a breath of fresh air.

53:54 Caller Some people.

53:56 Drew Are you going to college now?

53:58 Caller Yeah, I go to San Diego State University.

54:00 Drew Well, it will be trouble though. So it's okay.

54:03 Caller I've survived for two years. I'm going on number three.

54:05 Adam Mark Cuban or not Mark Cuban. Joe Francis from Girls Gone Wild comes to the campus. Just run the other way.

54:11 Caller Okay.

54:12 Adam And don't have any of those roofies. Don't let the boys give you roofies.

54:15 Drew Just don't go to the roofie bar.

54:16 Adam Don't go to the roofitorium.

54:17 Drew San Diego State has a roofie bar.

54:18 Adam Yeah.

54:21 Drew Okay, Amanda's 23.

54:23 Caller Hi, I'm actually also a normal caller, Kathy.

54:26 Drew Yeah.

54:28 Caller I heard you guys talking about the whole orgasm thing, and I'm 23. I've never had an orgasm, and I thoroughly enjoy sex.

54:36 Adam You are ruining it for all of us. Every teenage guy is like, I'm hooked up. I don't have to do anything.

54:43 Drew But now you're at an age, though, where you really should start having them. That would be sort of normal. It's oftentimes the case that women don't wire up until they're about in their early 20s, and then after that, it sort of starts to happen. Are you in a relationship?

54:55 Caller I'm not right now. I've been listening to you forever, so I'm like, okay, as soon as I hit 23, I should be good to go.

54:59 Drew You should be. It's time to put a little effort into it, too.

55:02 Adam There should be orgasms just shooting out of your vagina in rapid fire.

55:06 Drew Vagina?

55:06 Adam Yes, vagina.

55:07 Drew Kathy, how dare you? West Virginia, do you say you're from? Mm-hmm. Or Chicago? Chicago. Yeah, so it's all good, though, right, Amanda?

55:17 Caller Well, yeah, I just wanted to say that I enjoy sex because of whatever intimacy or whatever. I mean, it's not like I don't get anything out of it just because I don't orgasm. It's still pleasurable to me, even though I don't have an orgasm.

55:27 Adam But it wouldn't be better if you had an orgasm?

55:29 Drew She doesn't know. She never had one.

55:31 Adam Oh, okay.

55:31 Caller I would assume so, but yeah.

55:34 Drew Go ahead.

55:34 Caller I can't do anything through clitoral stimulation that does nothing for me.

55:38 Drew Really?

55:39 Adam So it's all the receptacle?

55:41 Caller Yes.

55:41 Drew Well, you should still-

55:42 Caller I heard you talking about the genetics of it, and I was like, well, is that like a pass down from your mother kind of thing?

55:48 Adam I blame my mother for everything, every chance I get.

55:50 Drew It's really not specifically, hasn't yet been proven to be specifically from the female parent. However, if you feel nothing below your waist, that tends to be a sign of what they call somatic dissociation. I mean, something bad happened to you when you were a baby. But I think what this is more, man, I suspect, is that it's just coming time where it's going to start to feel more arousing.

56:11 Caller Right. Okay.

56:12 Drew But you're going to have to fool around, oral sex is the answer here. And you're going to have to have a voice-

56:16 Adam And don't let them off the hook every time. Don't be like, oh, you can go, no, it was perfect. They can punch in.

56:23 Caller Well, no.

56:24 Adam They can punch the clock.

56:26 Caller I actually enjoy, I don't know what I can say, but I enjoy intercourse more. Okay.

56:32 Drew Good times. All right. All right.

56:34 Adam Well, she's every guy's dream.

56:35 Drew Bye, Amanda. Thank you.

56:36 Caller Yeah, right.

56:37 Drew She doesn't have to worry about anything. Doesn't have to clock in, no check-in, no oral sex, maybe not. Okay. This is Lance, who's 28.

56:45 Caller Hey, Drew, how are you?

56:47 Drew I'm good. Lance, how are you?

56:49 Caller I'm great. Hey, Kathy, I just want to say how much I love you.

56:53 Adam Lance, you doll.

56:54 Drew Are you one of her?

56:56 Caller I'm of the homosexual persuasion, so if you're biological or something, I have to thank you.

57:01 Adam We are magnetically drawn to one another.

57:03 Caller Thank you. Anyways, I just got tested for HIV for the very first time. I know that's bad, but it came out negative, but my doctor said it's going to be something crazy about like it could take up to five years to like show up on a test or something.

57:19 Drew Well, there have been reported cases of that, but the vast majority will have shown up within six months.

57:25 Caller Okay, I couldn't imagine my boyfriend believing that, you know, I'm saying I got it five years ago.

57:31 Drew Yeah.

57:32 Adam Do you use condoms?

57:33 Caller You know, I've been bad lately, but I do.

57:36 Adam Lance, I know, you know, I have to be strict with my gaze every so often. You got to put a condom on. There's not even any difference in feeling. Come on.

57:45 Caller This is totally my lesson. I learned.

57:47 Adam I mean, you're at the white party. It was a hot night in Palm Springs. One thing led to another.

57:53 Caller Thank you.

57:53 Adam Then all of a sudden, the twinks are there with the bears and the circuit boys. I know. I know how you boys get.

57:59 Caller Oh, I know you know.

58:01 Drew Want to translate that for me a little bit?

58:03 Twinks?

58:04 Adam Yeah.

58:05 Caller So five years is just like, don't believe that or what?

58:08 Drew Well, no, I'm not saying don't believe it. He's not saying something, he's not lying to you, but it's very rare that it takes that many years for it to turn positive.

58:16 Adam It's like Pam Anderson saying that she got Hep C from a doorknob. It's possible, but it was probably from Tommy Lee.

58:22 Drew Yes, and not only that, there are some DNA-specific probes for HIV. You could perhaps get something like that if you're really concerned about the possibility. This is John, who's 18. John, what's going on?

58:34 Caller Hi, listen, I don't know why I've been feeling so guilty lately because I slept with a friend of mine that I was in love with for a really, really long time.

58:43 Drew A guy?

58:44 Caller Yeah, I was a guy, I'm gay. But I slept with him, I was in love with him, Jesus Christ. Like, I don't know, I like, he had a boyfriend.

58:51 Drew Jesus Christ getting in the act again.

58:53 Adam It's always Jesus' fault, you know me. All right, so you slept with your friend's friend, but you're in love with the friend's friend.

59:01 Caller No, no, no. I slept with one of my best friends, and he has a boyfriend who's one of my best friends, and I feel really guilty. I don't know why I feel so guilty, because I've been in love with this guy since I was 16.

59:17 Drew Wait, you're in love with the guy you slept with or in love with?

59:19 Adam Yeah, his friend.

59:20 Caller No, I was in love with the guy that I slept with.

59:23 Drew Okay, but the friend, you feel like you violated his trust.

59:26 Caller Exactly.

59:27 Drew Well, you did.

59:29 Caller Yeah.

59:29 Drew Right? I mean, it made you feel worse, but you did. I mean, you sort of violated some cardinal rules there, right? You don't sleep with your friend's partner.

59:38 Adam Are you going to break up the two guys or no?

59:40 Caller Well, like originally what happened was like this happened like a week ago, too. So one guy, the guy that I had that I had sex with, he was going to move in with me because he wasn't happy where he was.

59:52 Drew Was he with your friend?

59:54 Caller Yeah, with my friend.

59:56 Adam You mean move in platonic like roommates or you're a couple now?

59:59 Caller Move in? Like, I have no clue what he was thinking. Like I...

1:00:03 Drew I'd say what John's thinking. John's thinking penis.

1:00:06 Caller Okay. When we slept together, then afterwards he opened up to me and was just like, he just completely tore his soul out to me. I did not expect it. I was just not ready for what he was about to say. I don't even know where the relationship stands today. I haven't talked to him because I'm too afraid to.

1:00:26 Drew All right.

1:00:28 Adam So you bit off a little more penis and you could chew.

1:00:31 Drew Literally. Here's the deal, John. This is a mess, right? It's a mess. You are going to have to do some part of this, one of these relationships is not going to survive, or both of them, perhaps. The healthiest thing probably would be for you to get away from both these guys because they have to work out their relationship. Once they do that, if one you really like is available, let a few months go by and then go ahead and step in. That probably the best thing to do. Otherwise, you're going to be taking your best friend's lover. You're going to be doing that and you're going to lose your good friend.

1:01:07 Adam Yeah.

1:01:07 Drew God knows this guy sounds a little chaotic. He's goofing around, he's cheating, it just sounds like kind of a-

1:01:12 Adam Wants to move in a little too soon.

1:01:14 Drew Not necessarily a guy.

1:01:15 Adam What are you, lesbians? The lesbians move in after one day, not the gay men?

1:01:19 Drew I'm not sure it's a guy you want to be in that kind of relationship with. Crystal is 18.

1:01:23 Caller Hello.

1:01:24 Drew Hi there.

1:01:24 Caller Hi.

1:01:27 Caller First of all, I love both of you.

1:01:30 Adam Oh, Crystal.

1:01:33 Drew Kathy and I should take it on the road.

1:01:34 Adam I know. If your last name was Meth, that would be a great drag queen name. But you're a woman and I'm sorry. Only if you were a male drag queen, not since you're a lovely woman.

1:01:44 Caller Thank you. I've been dating this guy for just two months. I met him like it was like a drunken night, the whole whatever, teenage thing. Good times. I met him. I totally like him. He was totally fun and nice and everything at first. Now, just as the weeks are going by, he's getting really distant. I know we've only been dating for two months, so it's not like we should be getting married and everything.

1:02:19 Drew Did you freak him out? Did you get in too far, too fast?

1:02:21 Caller I don't know.

1:02:23 Adam Have you read Greg Barrett's book, He's Just Not That Into You?

1:02:26 Caller No.

1:02:26 Adam Oh, you got to watch Oprah.

1:02:28 Drew Oh, great.

1:02:28 Adam So Greg Barrett wrote a book.

1:02:29 Caller Do you like Oprah?

1:02:31 Adam I have a love-hate for Oprah.

1:02:32 Drew We're going to talk about that.

1:02:33 Adam She goes down pretty hard in my latest special. But, Crystal, I think you should get this book because women are finding it life-changing. It's by Greg Barrett, and it's called He's Just Not That Into You.

1:02:43 Drew What it is?

1:02:43 Adam Because it's a lot. You know the book, right?

1:02:45 Drew Yeah, he's just telling you how men think. Yeah, and it's for the first time.

1:02:49 Adam Because a lot of us women, we don't really want to face the signals, and it sounds like the signals is that this guy is just not that into you.

1:02:57 Caller He was a guest on this show, Drew.

1:02:59 Adam Yeah, and also-

1:02:59 Drew No, no, no, that was the other guy. That was- That was Barrett, yeah.

1:03:02 Caller That was Greg Barrett.

1:03:03 Adam Barrett. And the cool thing is it probably has nothing to do with you. So you can take comfort in the fact that if he's pulling you away, it's probably he has some other agenda or maybe he's-

1:03:12 Caller Yeah, I don't want to cut you off, but that's the thing with him. It's like he's had one girlfriend and he was with her for four years. When I ask about their relationship at all, he still refers to it like that he was dating her for four years.

1:03:29 Drew When did that end?

1:03:31 Caller Like two years ago.

1:03:33 Drew How old is he?

1:03:34 Caller He's 22. He'll be 22 next week.

1:03:38 Drew Loser.

1:03:39 No.

1:03:40 Caller Loser. What I'm thinking is like, okay, if I'm dating somebody for four years, aren't we together? Are we boyfriend and girlfriend? We're together. We're not just dating. Dating is like what me and him are doing right now.

1:03:53 Drew Right. That's what I'm saying. Loser.

1:03:56 Caller Then he said that he had a problem telling her that he loved her. When she first said it to him.

1:04:02 Drew Perfect.

1:04:02 Adam Because they were still dating.

1:04:05 Drew This guy is not-

1:04:06 Adam He's too immature.

1:04:07 Drew Whatever it is, he has a problem with closeness. He's not good in relationships.

1:04:11 Caller But then like we've had sex and maybe we shouldn't have-

1:04:15 Drew By the way, that is irrelevant from a guy's perspective. Okay. That means nothing to the relationship.

1:04:22 Adam Was the sex great?

1:04:24 Caller No, because he-

1:04:25 Adam Ouch.

1:04:26 Caller He just wouldn't last. It was like in and out and well, hey, thanks, see you later.

1:04:33 Adam This guy is bringing nothing to the table.

1:04:35 Drew Loser.

1:04:36 Adam You're wonderful and I want to set you up with, I don't know who, I only know gay guys, but I know that there's a wonderful man out there that will actually let you have an orgasm and then you'll like it.

1:04:46 Drew And would say that you're his girlfriend.

1:04:48 Adam Right. He'll use the word girlfriend.

1:04:49 Drew The L word.

1:04:50 Adam And you don't have to be drunk.

1:04:51 Caller But then there's times that he's totally sweet and we have so much fun together.

1:04:56 Adam Guys like that, that's their bread and butter. Well, that is their whole bread and butter is that they know that when they turn it on every so often, you're living on crumbs.

1:05:04 Drew Here's what you do. You date other guys.

1:05:07 Adam Really?

1:05:07 Drew It's fine to date a guy like this, but to assume that it's going to be the one, or a relationship.

1:05:12 Caller But I'm not, you know.

1:05:14 Drew I don't mean the one you're going to marry. I mean the one you're going to be committed to.

1:05:15 Adam But it's sort of something she wants to fix him too. He's a fixer-upper and who has the time. Let somebody else fix him.

1:05:20 Caller See, that's what I'm thinking. I'm talking to my sisters and they're like my best friends and they're like, don't think that it's you. Don't think it's a problem that you have. It's him, you know.

1:05:28 Adam Yes, they're right.

1:05:28 Caller It's the stage that he's at in his life, but I'm like, well, I totally want to hold on to it and see if he gets through it, you know.

1:05:36 Drew I would suggest- Yeah, it's a little more serious than you think.

1:05:39 Caller I think so.

1:05:40 Drew Yeah.

1:05:41 Adam He may never come out of it. He might be like this when he's 30.

1:05:43 Drew He might have permanent attachment issues. This is different than the guy. If he had said, you know, I had a girl for four years, it was great, we were in love, but at this point in my life, I'm just kind of dating around and you're great, but I'm just not up for commitment right now. That's different than-

1:05:59 Adam If he had said that during the 42nd minute of intercourse.

1:06:02 Drew That's the other thing, the no effort there in the important-

1:06:06 Adam He's got to think of baseball players or whatever, because that's ridiculous.

1:06:08 Drew Well, there's a medicine coming out, by the way. Medicine is going to double guy's time.

1:06:11 Caller The whole sex thing, he tells me that it's not important, he doesn't have to have sex, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, it's not important, you don't have to, but it's something that I like to do.

1:06:24 Drew All the signals are confused.

1:06:25 Adam It sounds like he's kind of being controlling and he's running the show too.

1:06:29 Drew It does not compute. It also means that he's not that into you.

1:06:33 Caller But then, and then I'm starting to think.

1:06:35 Drew Hey Crystal, who are you trying to convince? It's done, it's over. Forget it, you can't convince us anything.

1:06:39 Adam So many more fish in the sea.

1:06:40 Drew Yes, yes.

1:06:41 Adam What city is she from?

1:06:42 Drew She's from San Jose.

1:06:44 Adam Oh, there's a lot of cute guys there.

1:06:46 Drew Just go Santa Cruz around the corner.

1:06:47 Adam Right.

1:06:48 Drew Skylar, 16.

1:06:50 Caller Oh, I can only have sex with a chick watching.

1:06:56 Adam You know what, can we at least say hello? I mean, can we say hello? How's your, I mean.

1:07:01 Drew Perfectly normal, perfectly natural.

1:07:03 Kathy Griffin What?

1:07:04 Drew Of course not.

1:07:05 Caller I'm embarrassed right now.

1:07:06 Drew Okay.

1:07:07 Adam I'm sorry, but also I'm laughing at someone, a woman calling another woman a chick.

1:07:12 Caller Well, I'm not calling a woman a chick.

1:07:15 Drew Kathy, she's from Riverside. What do you got to do?

1:07:19 Adam No. How old is she?

1:07:20 Drew Sixteen. Wow.

1:07:24 Adam Go ahead, Drew. Let's see what you got.

1:07:25 Drew Yeah.

1:07:26 Adam Start from the beginning. That's heavy, Skylar.

1:07:27 Drew I'm just looking at the clock here. I'm thinking how much time do I have? That's heavy, right, Skylar?

1:07:33 Caller To me, I do have a normal life.

1:07:35 Drew No. Maybe you do now.

1:07:37 Adam Wait. Is it sex with a guy and a woman watches?

1:07:40 Caller Excuse me?

1:07:42 Adam Is it that you're having sex with a man and a woman watches?

1:07:45 Caller She can watch and yes with a man or she can be part of either one.

1:07:50 Drew How old were you when you lost your virginity?

1:07:53 Caller Like 14.

1:07:55 Drew Like 14 or 14?

1:07:57 Adam Four or nine.

1:08:02 Caller I think I was raped around 14.

1:08:04 Drew Rape around 14.

1:08:05 Adam Oh, Skylar.

1:08:07 Drew It's beginning to come into focus. So a rape at 14.

1:08:12 Caller I'm so used to rape.

1:08:15 Drew Hang on. Stop, stop.

1:08:16 Adam Whoa, whoa.

1:08:17 Drew A rape at 14 usually means sexual abuse prior. So whose sexual abuse you're growing up.

1:08:21 Adam I'm sorry. Did I misunderstand? Did she say I'm so used to rape?

1:08:25 Drew She's going to mean sexual abuse is what she's going to be talking about. Right? Yeah.

1:08:29 Caller Like my dad had touched me when I was like 3, 2, 5.

1:08:36 Drew Yeah. Okay. So here we go. So this whole, I have a normal life, Skylar. You can just throw that out the window. You've had a very pathological life as you're growing up and it affects.

1:08:49 Caller I'm like totally used to being hit with a bell or.

1:08:54 Adam I can't take it.

1:08:55 Drew All that used to the business of being used to and having dealt with it.

1:08:59 Adam I want to go to Skylar's house and kill everyone there but Skylar.

1:09:01 Drew The way that you get used to it is by changing your brain and the brain changes in order to tolerate these things in ways that are not healthy. The symptom of that right now is some of this bizarre sexual stuff you're getting into at a very, very young age. Let's put that aside and really work on Skylar and her emotional health.

1:09:23 Adam Where's dad now?

1:09:23 Drew Have you?

1:09:25 Caller He's in Hawaii doing what he pleases. My stepdad is with me.

1:09:31 Caller Well, he's not going to be my stepdad.

1:09:32 Caller He doesn't want me to be his daughter.

1:09:34 Drew No, boy. Have you been in psychiatric hospitals or anything?

1:09:38 Caller Been counseling. I've gone to Moon Range Academy at the clinic for alcoholism.

1:09:44 Drew Right. So you're an addict also?

1:09:48 Caller Oh, no. I'm totally against drugs.

1:09:51 Drew You're just a cutter?

1:09:52 Caller Yeah.

1:09:53 Adam Did you ever watch Intervention on A&E?

1:09:55 Caller No.

1:09:56 Adam Oh, you should watch it. It's such a good show. They had a cutter on there, and you'd probably relate to it. It was a really good episode.

1:10:01 Drew Do you have a borderline personality disorder?

1:10:03 Caller Not that I know of.

1:10:04 Drew They've never used that term?

1:10:06 Caller Not that I know of.

1:10:07 Adam I have one listening to this story.

1:10:09 Drew You're getting one, developing one?

1:10:10 Adam Yes.

1:10:11 Drew All right. So Skylar, here's the deal. Are you involved? So you've had all this therapeutic stuff, right? You've gone to the therapeutic schools. Why don't you start digging into that a little bit? Why don't you start listening to the people that are there to help you? Getting involved in that, realizing that every great idea you have is going to come out of a brain, of an environment in your brain that is altered by all those horrible experiences you had, and every choice, every judgment, every idea you have is going to be a bad one. Because it's going to be ways of trying to adapt to these horrible, horrible things that happen. Throw yourself into a program where there are people there who can sort of guide you, take direction. It's going to be the hardest thing in the world for you. Take direction, trust somebody else. When you've been physically...

1:10:55 Adam Not your dad.

1:10:56 Drew Yeah, when you're physically sexually abused like that, the one thing...

1:10:58 Adam And not the chick watching.

1:10:59 Drew G... .that suffers the most is trust, particularly from people in authority. And what I'm asking, Skylar, to help yourself is to take direction and be willing and to trust people who are there to try to help you. That's all they're there for is to help you, not to amuse themselves, not to make money. They wouldn't do this work if they didn't like it. Yes, they have to make a living, so you won't trust that because they make money off it.

1:11:21 Adam And how old is she?

1:11:22 Drew She's 16.

1:11:24 Adam What if just no sex for three months? Is that a start?

1:11:27 Drew Absolutely.

1:11:28 Adam Just none at all, just not even any.

1:11:30 Drew Every idea you have.

1:11:31 Adam You will live without sex for three months.

1:11:32 Drew Here's what you need to think to yourself. Every idea I have is a bad one.

1:11:36 Adam And who's the guy that's banging her? And then the chicks watch him.

1:11:39 Drew You can kill him with all the other stuff.

1:11:41 Adam I'm going to go to Hawaii and kill the dad. Then I'm going to tour, and I'm going to kill everyone who's ever known Skylar.

1:11:46 Drew Good.

1:11:47 Adam And then I'm just going to, I don't know, put her in, I don't know. I would say convent, but you know, I don't like Jesus. So I can't go convent.

1:11:53 Drew We'll go maybe go the Kabbala route. We'll put her on Kabbala.

1:11:56 Adam You know what? Fine. Put a red string on her wrists. Nobody ever dies from Kabbala. Fine.

1:12:01 Drew All right. It's time for the break. Time is zooming along. Are we not having fun today?

1:12:04 Adam Slow down, Skylar.

1:12:06 Drew Got so much to talk about. Slow down, Skylar.

1:12:09 Adam Oh, Skylar.

1:12:11 Drew It's 1-800-3-5. We've got a bunch of open spaces here for calls.

1:12:15 Adam I want to hear about LASIK people. I have a whole LASIK story. Story.

1:12:19 Drew Good. 1-800-

1:12:19 Adam Anyone complications from LASIK?

1:12:21 Drew Bad story?

1:12:22 Adam Yes. I want to hear all of your LASIK stories.

1:12:24 Drew 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:12:29 Loveline, we'll be right back.

1:12:31 Caller Call on the 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:12:34 Caller Loveline is brought to you by Playboy. If you're a baseball fan, you'll love Jessica Kinseko's wild interview in September's Playboy. Either way, it's on sale now.

1:12:53 Caller On this week's Fair Enough, the big tobacco posse has some great ideas for improving sales to the black community. Toe rings.

1:13:01 What about toe rings?

1:13:03 Caller It's based off a 1989 team brainstorm.

1:13:06 Caller They use words like fresh.

1:13:27 Drew Loveline, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Kathy Griffin, Kathy, do we express to you clearly enough how much we love you here? Producer Anne, do we not love Kathy Griffin?

1:13:36 Adam Anne, we're just reading a magazine.

1:13:37 Drew Yeah, but what I want you to know is, I've never, never during a show, do I get to lay eyes on Anne. That means she's enjoying the show, she's sitting here, she's close to you.

1:13:47 Adam I love Anne.

1:13:48 Drew And she loves you, and we thank you for coming in tonight.

1:13:50 Adam Anne got me Food Fighters tickets once, and I'm her best friend.

1:13:52 Drew How much fun we have when Adam's not here, it's like we're free, we're free at last. Right, right.

1:13:56 Adam Less hair, it's great.

1:13:58 Drew Let's ask her.

1:13:59 Adam There's actually skin in between eyebrows.

1:14:01 Drew Less ass hair, I'll be specific.

1:14:03 You can't articulate yourself any better than that.

1:14:07 Drew Nope, that's me. Here's Tim, who's 24.

1:14:10 Caller Hey, what's going on guys?

1:14:12 Adam Hey.

1:14:12 Drew We're having a good time.

1:14:13 Caller I just want to say first off, Kathy, we love you here.

1:14:16 Adam Thank you.

1:14:17 Caller Appreciate it.

1:14:18 Drew Are you in Chicago?

1:14:19 Caller We really are.

1:14:19 Adam I'm from Chicago.

1:14:21 Caller I'm just south of Chicago. I tell everybody I'm just south of Chicago, because nobody knows where I'm at.

1:14:26 Drew Where are you, Champaign or Evanston? Where are you?

1:14:29 Caller Just south, Peoria.

1:14:31 Drew Peoria, LA.

1:14:31 Adam That's pretty far. I was going to tell you to come see me in Skokie, but that's quite a drive. Yeah, we got to go. I'm going to do a night, September, I think 17th, I'm doing two shows at the Skokie Center East. It's a beautiful community theater. Yes.

1:14:44 Caller That's a little, just about two hours north of us.

1:14:47 Adam Well, if you feel like the drive, I promise to make you laugh.

1:14:49 Drew You know what?

1:14:50 Caller Well, we might have to be there.

1:14:52 Drew No one is nicer than people in the Midwest.

1:14:54 Adam Yes. We're corn fed, we have the Midwestern common sense, we're no BS.

1:14:59 Drew Super nice.

1:14:59 Adam Yeah. Indeed.

1:15:01 Drew So what's going on, Tim?

1:15:03 Adam Is there a light bulb up your butt? Because now it's going to be like there's a light bulb up my butt and it's sore, what do I do?

1:15:09 Drew But you asked nicely.

1:15:10 Adam Yeah.

1:15:10 Caller Not exactly my question, but I'm hearing from a lot of guys, myself included, who feel pretty average, that there's a lot of products out there, devices, etc. that can make us either feel larger or get larger, or you know what I mean? Just-

1:15:29 Adam Yeah. What are all those spam emails that I get about?

1:15:31 Drew BS for the most part.

1:15:32 Adam Okay.

1:15:33 Drew But do you have a size problem?

1:15:38 Caller I'll be honest with you. I haven't seen or been able to compare myself to a lot of guys.

1:15:42 Drew Well, what are your dimensions? I'll do the comparing right now.

1:15:45 Caller Dimensions? At least seven and a half, eight inches.

1:15:50 Adam No, that's big, right?

1:15:52 Caller Really?

1:15:52 Drew That's way above normal.

1:15:53 Adam That's really big.

1:15:54 Drew Yeah. It's way above normal.

1:15:54 Caller Really?

1:15:55 Drew Yeah.

1:15:56 Caller You're kidding.

1:15:57 Drew 85 percent of men are in the five and a half to six and a half. I think it's five to six right there.

1:16:01 Adam Really? Because guys exaggerate. You know guys.

1:16:04 Caller Is there any truth to the products or the creams, et cetera, that are out there?

1:16:08 Drew Basically, the only thing that works is the surgeries, and you do not do the surgery.

1:16:12 Adam What do they do surgery?

1:16:13 Drew Surgery, they cut just above the pubic bone here, and they go in and they basically, I actually did this surgery, I assisted in it. You tear off the tendon from the bone, so the penis sort of hangs out about another inch.

1:16:26 Adam Okay.

1:16:27 Drew And then they un-glove the penis, they take all the skin off.

1:16:30 Adam Oh.

1:16:31 Drew And they sew in what looks like a pop tart. It's basically cadaver tissue and sort of a flat plane.

1:16:37 Adam Why is it flat? Shouldn't it be like a...

1:16:40 Drew It's a tube, but it sews around. And then they pull the skin back up.

1:16:44 Adam He just wants some cream, okay? He doesn't want the glove taken off.

1:16:47 Drew As I said, Tim, the answer is no.

1:16:49 Adam Okay.

1:16:49 Drew And then they pull the skin back up and then they sew things back in.

1:16:52 Adam So at the end of the day, you get what? An inch?

1:16:54 Drew You get about an inch of girth and an inch of length. And that's about the best you can do.

1:16:57 Adam Well, it's worth it, fellas.

1:16:59 Drew There you go. And I will tell you, here's the deal, Tim.

1:17:03 Caller I mean, I've heard about transplants and stuff like that, but I mean, I'm not looking for that, obviously. But, you know...

1:17:09 Adam Not if you're seven and a half inches, you tiger.

1:17:11 Drew Tim, you have an extra-large penis. And you're worrying about the size. That means you have extra-low self-esteem. That men that preoccupy about their penis size that are normal or large are not having a penis size problem, they're having a self-esteem problem. Oh, boy. And so what you need to do... There's no claim for that... .get a GD job that makes you feel good about yourself or a hobby or something you can feel worthwhile as a result of. And on from there. It's Chris.

1:17:36 Caller Hi.

1:17:36 Drew 18.

1:17:38 Caller Hi. How you doing?

1:17:39 Adam Hi, Chris.

1:17:40 Drew We're doing fine.

1:17:41 Caller Hi. I have a problem right now because I have a partner on gay or bi, I guess. We just both found out that we're both positive with AIDS.

1:17:52 Drew Wow.

1:17:52 Caller But I'm dating a girl on the side.

1:17:56 Caller Whoa.

1:17:57 Adam Are you a man of color, I assume?

1:18:00 Caller I'm white.

1:18:01 Adam You are?

1:18:01 Drew Why'd you get the color? You sound like it.

1:18:03 Adam Because I thought you was like a Wiggett talk. You sound a little bit like Eminem, like, you know.

1:18:08 Drew But you're white, okay.

1:18:09 Adam Are you a rapper?

1:18:11 Caller No.

1:18:12 Adam Okay.

1:18:13 Drew What is your question?

1:18:15 Caller Well, we want to getting married, and but I'm just confused on what we should do because I am dating a girl on the side, and she knows that I'm positive, but so.

1:18:30 Drew.

1:18:31 Drew I'm just wondering if this is that guy that does the girl voice. What do you mean? Anderson, help me out on this.

1:18:37 Caller No, that's not him.

1:18:38 Caller He doesn't sound fake, but that's not. No, that's not him.

1:18:41 Drew All right. I just got a little whiff of bogosity here. Okay. Because it's such a serious issue you're bringing up here, we're going to have to take this as though it were real.

1:18:52 Adam Because even if he's bogus, maybe there's someone else out there.

1:18:54 Drew Well, regardless, he's taking a serious stuff issue that we can't not address.

1:18:59 Adam All right.

1:19:00 Drew So A, you have to tell the girl what's been happening here and what you've got. You have an obligation to tell her that. You were in a committed relationship.

1:19:08 Adam He said she knows he's positive.

1:19:09 Drew I didn't hear him say that. He said that he and his partner, the guy, are both positive and know it.

1:19:13 Adam Oh, I thought she knew.

1:19:14 Drew Well, she needs to know.

1:19:16 Adam How about he breaks up with the girl, period? Let's just let her off the hook, shall we?

1:19:19 Drew Well, he's in a committed relationship with another guy. He needs to honor that commitment and break up with the girl. Because your bi, as he mentioned himself, doesn't give you the right to date.

1:19:30 Adam He's only bi because he's young. Give him five years and he'll just be gay.

1:19:34 Drew Either way, you're in a relationship with one person at a time. I don't care what your sexual orientation is. Anything other than that is extremely unhealthy and chaotic.

1:19:42 Adam Don't give the girl HIV. Give her a break.

1:19:45 Drew Then finally, you want to get married, but your chaos in the relationship, it sounds like a total mess.

1:19:50 Adam How about Nova Scotia, same-sex union?

1:19:51 Drew How about just relax, have your committed relationship with your boyfriend, and don't worry about marriage and lifelong commitments and all that stuff. Because the kind of chaos you're describing, things could change rapidly. All right, Miranda is 18. What's up?

1:20:07 Caller For the past couple of years, my sister's been telling me that she thinks I have a borderline personality disorder, but I'm not sure if she's yanking my chain or-

1:20:19 Drew Well, borderline is a term that's overused generally. It's traditionally, for the most part, women get this condition and the hallmark is chaos. A lot of chaos in your relationships, a lot of chaos emotionally, a lot of bipolar quality to your mood, and often a history of trauma in the past. So post-traumatic stress disorder, borderline, and bipolar disorder tends to be related to one another.

1:20:43 Adam Manifest a self-hub.

1:20:45 Drew The chaos.

1:20:45 Adam Violence, drug abuse.

1:20:47 Drew Cutting, drug abuse, a lot of chaos, a lot of erratic behaviors.

1:20:50 Adam Because all teenagers have chaos.

1:20:51 Drew Yeah.

1:20:52 Adam What's the extraordinary?

1:20:54 Drew You're not supposed to make a diagnosis of borderline until after teenage years because it is, in fact, so characteristic of teenage years.

1:20:59 Caller But in my family, personality disorders run. My mom has a personality disorder, my sister is bipolar.

1:21:08 Drew Maybe you're just bipolar. But anyway, the family issue is a little less clear than, say, with bipolar where there is definitely a genetic component to it. Maybe something going on around your sister. Let's put it this way. The most important thing to understand here is that your sister is not a clinical professional. Yeah. She's not the one who should be making a diagnosis.

1:21:27 Adam Now, can't she go get a diagnosis somewhere?

1:21:28 Drew Yes. Even if your sister is a trained professional, she shouldn't be diagnosing her own family members. So yeah, go see us to catch somebody that is trained in rendering diagnoses and see what you got. Christina, who's 19.

1:21:39 Caller Hi.

1:21:40 Kathy Griffin My question is, I am married and I'm 19 and I just had a four and a half year old baby, and I'm pregnant again. Now, me and my husband are constantly fighting. We're already having financial problems. We're living in someone's garage right now.

1:21:55 Adam You're not as bad off as Skylar.

1:21:57 Caller Exactly what to do.

1:21:58 Drew That's true. She's not. Wow.

1:22:01 Adam So wait, you had a kid when you were 15? No, no, no.

1:22:03 Kathy Griffin I'm 19 now. I just had her four and a half months ago.

1:22:05 Adam Oh, four and a half months ago.

1:22:06 Drew You said four and a half years.

1:22:08 Kathy Griffin No.

1:22:08 Adam We're acting like an 18-year-old having a kid is totally fine. Oh, long as you were 18. Now, did you have to drop out of high school?

1:22:15 Kathy Griffin No, I dropped out in 11th grade because I was addicted to drugs.

1:22:19 Caller Oh.

1:22:20 Adam Drew?

1:22:21 Drew How quaint.

1:22:21 Adam I've spent the whole show going, Drew?

1:22:23 Drew How's your recovery going?

1:22:24 Adam Good.

1:22:25 Kathy Griffin I've been clean for almost a year and a half now.

1:22:28 Drew Are you in a program?

1:22:30 Kathy Griffin No. I've just been doing it on my own, trying to stay away from it.

1:22:32 Adam No. Go to the meetings. It's all about the meetings.

1:22:35 Drew You need to get some. That's a free way.

1:22:37 Adam It's free.

1:22:38 Drew To get some support with what you're dealing with right now.

1:22:40 Adam Read the big book.

1:22:41 Kathy Griffin Well, the main thing is me and my husband are always fighting.

1:22:45 Drew I understand.

1:22:46 Kathy Griffin We're living in someone's garage. We have another baby coming and I'm not sure what to do.

1:22:50 Drew Is he using?

1:22:52 Kathy Griffin No.

1:22:53 Drew Well, like I'm saying, you need some support. You need some structure. You need some people to sit down and talk with, and a nice free way to do that. You're a recovering addict and you've been doing very little with your recovery, is to go to NA or CA or AA, whatever you want. Go to 12-Step and get a sponsor and get the support and sort these things out. No one is going to tell you what to do, Christina, you got to figure these things out.

1:23:15 Kathy Griffin Right.

1:23:15 Adam Don't have any more kids.

1:23:17 Kathy Griffin Yeah, I know. I know.

1:23:20 Adam Why did you get pregnant this time?

1:23:22 Kathy Griffin Because I forgot to take one of my birth control pills for three days.

1:23:27 Caller Perfect.

1:23:28 Kathy Griffin Because I'm bipolar too and I don't have my meds.

1:23:31 Adam Well, bipolar people can use a condom too. Just put it in the drawer, have it there.

1:23:36 Drew Just didn't go to a 12-Step program, unless you can get in with a psychiatrist. But it sounds like you can't afford that either, and it's going to take forever through the Department of Mental Health.

1:23:45 Adam It's all about 12-Step.

1:23:46 Drew Go to 12-Step, take some direction.

1:23:48 Adam Outreach calls, meetings.

1:23:50 Drew She wants us to, we can't come over there and actually rescue from that garage. By the way, if we were to rescue you-

1:23:56 Adam She hates that garage.

1:23:57 Drew If we were to rescue her, we would just keep you dependent on needing rescue from people. That's what Christina-

1:24:02 Adam What if Christina rescues Christina?

1:24:04 Drew Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

1:24:05 Adam Eventually, it's going to dump the whole thing for sure.

1:24:07 Drew That's very Oprah-esque statement. Do you like Oprah?

1:24:11 Adam I have a love-hate with Oprah.

1:24:12 Drew What's the hate part?

1:24:13 Adam I think that she is-

1:24:15 Drew I've never heard her talk, I've never heard her start a sentence in the last 18 months without beginning with the word I or me.

1:24:21 Adam Yes. I think that she does a lot of good shows, and I also think that the problem is that she thinks she's Jesus, and she has a true Messiah complex. I think she's not one of us anymore. I think what made her relatable is that she was my neighbor, she was my buddy, she was my sister, she was my best friend, and now it's like I can't get my $12,000 Birkin bag at the Hermes store, and I'm going to do a whole show about it. Instead of doing a show about team pregnancy. She's going to do a whole show about it. No. Yes. She is going to make them pay and pay dearly. I think it's great. She goes to AIDS-riddled Africa and hands out dresses, but then when she had President Clinton on, all she did ask him about was Monica Lewinsky, and she didn't ask him one single question about all the AIDS work that he's done. I think she's getting a little more Springer. I think the show is leaning more towards Springer territory. Yeah. I think she does some good things and also is ridiculous.

1:25:19 Drew I heard people complaining.

1:25:20 Adam Also has zero sense of humor, and you can never tease her about herself at all. She can make the joke, but no one else can.

1:25:25 Drew Well, that's what I hear people complaining about is the self stuff.

1:25:29 Adam The grandiosity. Yes. Dr. Phil is the worst of the bunch, so he's worse than she is. But you know.

1:25:34 Drew What is with him?

1:25:35 Adam He's so ridiculous. He gets her off the whole, you know, the meat lawsuit, and now he's got a show. It's ridiculous. He's got the wife on and the son.

1:25:42 Drew But you guys all watch it.

1:25:44 Adam I watch it every once in a while.

1:25:45 Drew And people like it.

1:25:46 Adam Well, look, if he's going to do a show with Clay Aiken about bullying, I'm going to watch because that's fun.

1:25:50 Drew Is that what he did?

1:25:51 Adam Yes. Clay Aiken was there talking about bullying, and then they were counseling other kids who were bullied. That was fun. But yeah, it's ridiculous. Also, I think Dr. Phil hates women. Yeah, he often takes the guy's side. Like, there'll be a guy who's like beating the crap out of the wife, and the wife goes on, she's got a black eye. And then the husband will do the old switcheroo, where he's with the wife for a minute, and he's like, but it does sound like you do irritate him.

1:26:13 Drew Oh, my.

1:26:15 Adam It's like, oh, really, Dr. Phil? So I guess I could just beat the crap out of my wife.

1:26:18 Drew I've got the exact opposite. I take women's side almost always.

1:26:22 Adam Somebody better, because women aren't taking women's side.

1:26:25 Drew As we've established earlier, you guys kicked the ass out of each other.

1:26:28 Adam Yes, and I think that Oprah is one of the worst offenders of that.

1:26:32 Drew Really?

1:26:33 Adam I think she had Robin Givens on, right? Who's with Tyson, who's an animal. Bites people's ears off, clearly beat the crap out of Robin Givens. Robin Givens goes on, she's finally gotten her life back. It took her a long time to get over, although everybody hated her, everybody booed her, then he beat her up, and the whole thing. So it seems like she finally is happy now. She goes on Oprah to tell her story, help other women. And the whole time Oprah is just like, I knew you should have gotten out of it. I was there that night, we had dinner, and I thought, how could she stay there? I mean, don't you think by staying there you kind of brought it on yourself? And I'm thinking, oh, thanks. There's Robin Givens crying, and Oprah's like, it's basically your fault that Mike Tyson beat the crap out of you. And you know Mike Tyson just beats up everybody he meets.

1:27:10 Drew But why do people like somebody doing that, turning the tables on somebody who doesn't accomplish nothing?

1:27:15 Adam It's the part of Oprah that I hate. It's so mean-spirited.

1:27:17 Drew It accomplishes nothing.

1:27:19 Adam Right. And she had a woman one time who posed for some porn magazine, I think called Over 50. And the woman was crying and saying that she never would have done it. But as she got older, she felt like she wasn't attractive anymore. And then this photographer came along and he took nude photos of her. And Oprah just ate her for lunch. And the woman was sobbing. And I thought, yeah, she shouldn't, because she was a teacher or a counselor, something in the school. And first of all, it was high school. So it's not like ruining the kids. But I thought this woman clearly was saying...

1:27:44 Drew But here's the deal. That woman has got some issues. And those issues should be exposed and explored. Beating her up.

1:27:50 Adam Beating her up doesn't help anybody.

1:27:52 Drew But it makes Oprah feel better. Her shame does nothing.

1:27:55 Adam Makes Oprah feel better.

1:27:55 Drew But why do we like watching that?

1:27:57 Adam I don't know. I was incensed when I was watching it.

1:27:59 Drew And you kept watching.

1:28:00 Adam Yeah. But I did love that Tom Cruise episode where he was jumping on the couch. That was fun.

1:28:05 Drew Because it gave you lots of material?

1:28:07 Adam It gave me a lot of material. And it was fun to see him melt down because he's been such like a sort of a phantom character and nobody knows what he's really like. And there you go. It was fun.

1:28:16 Drew Happy now?

1:28:16 Adam Yeah, I was happy.

1:28:18 Drew All right. We're going to take another break.

1:28:19 Adam And then I want to talk about Lasek.

1:28:21 Drew All right, Lasek. So far, Patricia known Lasek calls. We want to hear about Lasek's nightmares. Yeah. Okay. The phone number here is 1-800-LOVE-191. Kathy Griffin, Dr. Drew, right back.

1:28:33 Caller You have five seconds.

1:28:34 Caller Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:28:38 Drew Back in a minute. Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191, No Corolla with Griffin, D-List, Bravo Show, Wednesdays 10 PM. Also, Get Her Special, which is airing when? Kathy Griffin is not Nicole Kidman.

1:29:20 Adam That's currently, it's like in rotation at Bravo.

1:29:22 Drew Because I've seen a lot of ads for it.

1:29:23 Adam Yes.

1:29:24 Drew And actually, I get confused, because it usually you see the D-List ad, and then you see the other ones.

1:29:29 Adam So the D-List is the series, and the Kathy Griffin is not Nicole Kidman, is the stand-up special. And also my DVD called Allegedly has had a huge spike on Amazon.

1:29:38 Drew Nice.

1:29:39 Adam And so it's selling like crazy. So go on Amazon and get my DVD. It's scandalous.

1:29:42 Drew Allegedly.

1:29:43 Adam Yeah.

1:29:44 Drew And you're not wearing glasses during your Nicole Kidman.

1:29:46 Adam No, I'm back to glasses. I had a Lasik disaster. I have had five surgeries on my right eye. And so I want to warn people to be very, very careful about getting Lasik surgery. And I went to one of the top guys, Dr. Robert Maloney, and I did my research and I didn't just go to like some guy in the Dominican Republic for $50. And I have a condition called epithelial cell in growth. And what happened was I've lost about 30% of the vision of my right eye, permanent. So I just want to warn people, there's not one single long-term study done on Lasik. And I feel that it's kind of sold like it's like a haircut. You go in, it takes two to three minutes. It's this miracle cure. You never need glasses again. And five surgeries later, I'm just here to tell you, that was not my story. And it's been kind of a nightmare. So I actually have a whole page about it on my website, kathygriffin.net. So if you're thinking about Lasik, I'm not saying this is going to happen to you. I'm just saying make an educated decision and go on my website and just at least look at the page first.

1:30:45 Drew Well, there's not on earth a medication or an invasive procedure that cannot harm you.

1:30:51 Adam Right.

1:30:52 Drew There's no such thing.

1:30:53 Adam But I will say that in what I was told, you know, you sign these releases, right? And you go in for any you get in LA, if you get a facial, you have to sign a release. And they all have this. Complications happen in less than 1% of patients. Well, if it's less than 1%, my story, then why am I getting so many emails from around the country, calls from people? So in my own amateur research, I'm seeing that my complication is more like 3 to 8%. That's pretty high.

1:31:18 Drew You're just adding up the numbers of LASIKs out of this country.

1:31:20 Adam And this is what I found in, like, the London Telegraph had an article, the review of ophthalmology. So just remember that with these LASIK doctors, it's a very profitable business. They don't necessarily want you to hear from people like me. They want everyone to think that nothing could ever go wrong. But I'm just saying, it usually doesn't go wrong. But when it does go wrong, it's bad. It's nasty.

1:31:40 Drew One quick question for Kathy. Sarah 16.

1:31:43 Kathy Griffin Hi.

1:31:44 Adam Hey, Sarah.

1:31:44 Kathy Griffin Hi.

1:31:45 Caller Oh my gosh. I'm such a big fan of you guys.

1:31:47 Drew Oh, thank you.

1:31:48 Adam Thank you.

1:31:49 Caller Listen to you all the time. I've been going out with my boyfriend for about three months. And yesterday, he told me that he like we haven't done anything sexual or anything. And he told me that he wanted to like have sex with me between my boobs. And I was afraid that was like a normal thing. And I asked one of my friends and he's like, Oh yeah, you know, that's like a normal thing. I was just worrying that was normal.

1:32:11 Drew Yeah. Hang on. Let me just say that.

1:32:14 Adam It's humiliating.

1:32:15 Drew Let me just say, no, no. I'm not saying you should.

1:32:16 Adam Why does he have to do a bronze key?

1:32:17 Drew I'm not saying you should do it. I'm just saying, Sarah, just know that men from about the age of 15 to 30 are in a testosterone storm.

1:32:26 Adam They want to put their penis anywhere they can.

1:32:29 Drew All crazy places. They have a motivational priority, an urgent priority to orgasm.

1:32:34 Adam And his man juice has got to go all over the place.

1:32:37 Drew It has to come out or God takes it out during the night for him. And the fact is that they want to do all kinds of goofy things and at least he's not trying to do it of course.

1:32:45 Adam Okay, but I think that she should strike a deal. If he gets to do a bronski, she gets to put something up his butt. And let's say how he likes that. I want you to say, here's the deal. You can go ahead and do it in my boobs. I'm going to get a small gerbil. I'm going to put it up your butt. And then we have a deal. Cause you know what? He's not going to want to.

1:33:00 Drew Oh, well listen, you don't know guys.

1:33:02 Adam He might. He might be into it. He might be like, if it's not too big.

1:33:05 Drew Not just into it. He's just a question.

1:33:07 Adam He'll start dating the gerbil.

1:33:08 Drew It's just a question of how much pain they're willing to go through to get their needs met. And some guys, it's pretty severe.

1:33:12 Adam But what does she get out of it?

1:33:13 Drew Nothing. Okay.

1:33:14 Adam His man juices on her neck and then she gets what out of it?

1:33:17 Drew Sarah, relax. Just kind of take it slow and easy. He's just seeing what he can get out of you.

1:33:22 Caller It's just like a thing he's doing.

1:33:25 Drew It's just what?

1:33:26 Caller It's just like something he's doing to try to build up to sex or what?

1:33:29 Drew Well, it's just something. No, it's something he'd really, really like to do.

1:33:31 Adam He just wants to do it. Yeah.

1:33:33 Drew You don't have to do it. It doesn't mean you're not a good girlfriend.

1:33:35 Adam Can he get an apple pie, like an American pie?

1:33:38 Drew Sure. I'm sure he has.

1:33:39 Adam He has.

1:33:39 Drew He has. Don't worry, a cantaloupe pie or whatever. Just don't decide what you want to do, not what he needs you to do, what you would like to do in that relationship, and that's what you do.

1:33:49 Adam Because you know, afterwards she's going to just be going, eww, my neck is dripping with stuff.

1:33:53 Drew Then he's going to be like, well, now it's going to be on to the next thing. Let's go next.

1:33:57 Adam Take the gerbil out. Let's go.

1:33:58 Drew Well, Kathy, we got to take another break again.

1:34:00 Adam What?

1:34:00 Drew Yeah, it's crazy.

1:34:01 Adam Oh, it's nuts.

1:34:01 Drew I know it is. So it's allegedly DVD.

1:34:04 Adam Yeah.

1:34:04 Drew It's a Bravo show. Kathy Griffin on Bravo.

1:34:07 Adam Every Wednesday night.

1:34:08 Drew Did your party, by the way, go on the air?

1:34:10 Adam Oh, yeah. It was in like two weeks ago. You were on it, Drew.

1:34:12 Drew That's what I heard. I didn't get to see it though. And Wednesday at 10 p.m. And then Kathy Griffin is not Nicole Kidman.

1:34:18 Adam Is running sort of whenever on Bravo.

1:34:19 Drew Whenever. And we'll be right back after this.

1:34:21 Caller All right, guys, here's the deal.

1:34:23 Caller Looking to hook up, call the Dateline.

1:34:24 Caller Sick of wasting time with the wrong person.

1:34:26 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:34:27 Caller One call is all you need to make.

1:34:29 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:34:30 Caller 1-877-889-DATE. If you need help, call Loveline.

1:34:38 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:35:08 Drew Well, that about does it, another, that show went so fast.

1:35:11 Adam Oh, we helped so many people.

1:35:12 Drew Well, it means it was a good show, and you were a dear, dear, dear friend of the show, and you're welcome anytime.

1:35:17 Caller Now, now, now.

1:35:19 Drew I said I got a bad feeling.

1:35:20 Adam I know, all of a sudden something, ow, it hurts, Adam's voice.

1:35:23 Drew We have a very big week this week. We have iced tea tomorrow night. We have Trisha Helfer, is that how you pronounce her name? Dave Matthews later, Ryle O'Kiley. I mean, it's a huge, huge week this week, and amazing job booking guests. So iced tea tomorrow night, Carolla will be back, Kathy and I will be on Jimmy Kimmel on Tuesday.

1:35:40 Adam That's right.

1:35:43 Drew And until next time, this is Dr. Drew on behalf of Adam Corolla saying mahalo.

1:35:46 Adam Mahalo.

1:35:48 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:35:50 Caller Loveline.

1:35:52 Caller The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, August 21, 2005