Episode 1000724324338

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline.

1:17 With Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Drew.

1:19 Drew Did you get to ask them, Martin?

1:21 Voiceover Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist. Dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear friends, System Of A Down. In studio tonight, John and Shavo. Both here. New CD sounds fantabulous.

1:45 System Of A Down That sounds good, right?

1:46 Adam Well, every night we hear that riff off it, and we rock out to it. As a matter of fact, I didn't even know it was System Of A Down. I just said, wow, this rocks. Who is this?

1:55 System Of A Down Anderson Went System.

1:56 Adam And Anderson Went System. And I said, that's my boys. And I was just telling the guys that I ate Armenian food. Not only did I eat the Armenian food Saturday night, but I or- here's the thing. When you're ordering, we want in to go eat over at Carousel, where we went to eat with System Of A Down a few years ago. But they didn't want us to eat in the main dining room because they're playing music, and they had the whole place booked out.

2:21 Caller It was loud, yeah.

2:23 Drew They put you in the kitchen?

2:24 Adam No, they said, take the food home.

2:26 Drew What? That way you can get the sandwiches.

2:28 Adam I don't remember what the sandwiches were.

2:32 Drew Chicken sandwich guy.

2:34 Adam The whole thing is, there wasn't enough room out in the patio, so I said, screw it, we'll take it home. So what you want to do is you go fat. When you order out, you go big. Because especially when you're not familiar with the thing-

2:45 Drew Not at that place, bro.

2:46 Adam I went nuts over there. So I ended up with like 60 pounds of baklava. Or just like, I had over like a 55-gallon drum of hummus. I had to use a hand truck to get it into my house. So now I have a ton of, I have like 70 pounds of crushed lamb in my fridge.

3:04 System Of A Down Nice.

3:04 Adam Well, we ate it Saturday night, and then I ate it Sunday night, and then I ate it Monday night.

3:10 System Of A Down No, no, this is the way he is. If stuff goes in his refrigerator, it must be eaten. It cannot go to trash.

3:16 Caller It has to be eaten.

3:17 Adam No, because, you know, my mom was like one of these health food nuts from the 70s, and so I constantly grew up hungry, so I can't throw anything out. And if it's meat and if it's greasy, I'm into it, and I won't throw it out.

3:30 System Of A Down He'll eat it, no matter what.

3:31 Adam If there's a metric ton of it, I will just put it in the microwave until it's gone.

3:35 Drew Hey, you just won't eat anything else.

3:36 Adam I just don't eat anything else.

3:37 System Of A Down Do we have to go through the whole story about what happened at the carousel with these guys?

3:40 Caller What happened? I don't remember.

3:41 Adam Yeah, I remember what happened.

3:43 Drew Well, we didn't get this. The whole reason I took him there was for those sandwiches.

3:47 System Of A Down Yeah.

3:47 Drew The chicken sandwich.

3:48 Caller We couldn't get the sandwiches.

3:49 Drew They go, we can't prepare the chicken sandwich.

3:51 System Of A Down No.

3:52 Drew And bring it to the table. I felt like I was at that soup Nazi place. And we were embarrassed because we were like, yeah, we're Armenian. We'll take you to this place. We'll get hooked up. Whatever. You know?

3:59 Adam Oh, yeah. No, you guys are there. Meanie and Frank Sinatra. Oh, yeah.

4:03 Caller We were impressed. It's the System Of Down.

4:05 Adam Come in.

4:06 Caller Apparently not.

4:07 Adam Sit it down, System Of Down.

4:09 I felt like we were going to have to sit it down, right?

4:11 System Of A Down Yeah.

4:12 Adam And then it was funny, like, oh, the system is here. And then and then, yeah. And then we need the chicken.

4:17 Caller No deal.

4:19 System Of A Down Douglas, look, I'll take it to go. I'll walk outside and bring it back in and we'll eat it.

4:22 Caller No, no, you should.

4:24 Drew It was so embarrassing, though, because we were, you know, we're going to take you to our place.

4:28 Caller You should eat the parking lot.

4:29 Adam I hope a crow pecks you in the eye.

4:33 Drew Well, just to be fair, the one in the one in Hollywood allows you to order at the table.

4:37 Caller Oh, really?

4:38 Adam I see that.

4:39 Caller Let's not diss the one in Glendale.

4:40 Drew No, but the one in Hollywood allows you to do that.

4:42 Adam I'm getting out there because, you know, here's the whole thing.

4:45 Caller When it comes to Hollywood for...

4:47 Adam When it comes to Middle Eastern cuisine, I will drive to move a point. I went to the Zankou on Sepulveda in Burbank.

4:55 Caller Sepulveda in Burbank.

4:56 Drew That's a good one.

4:57 System Of A Down That's a good one. They wouldn't do something.

4:59 Caller Yeah, they would. They said, no.

5:00 Adam A little 17-year-old bitch, give me the stink eye. Right behind the counter, I said, give me the shawarma. Give me the 50-50 with the shawarma. Half chicken, half beef and lamb. She's like, no.

5:11 System Of A Down We don't do that.

5:12 Adam We don't. I said, what do you mean you don't do it? I do that every time I come here.

5:15 Caller No.

5:16 Drew How much makeup did she have on, by the way?

5:18 Adam About 60 pounds, but she was young. It gets heavier as you get older.

5:22 Caller Norwegian women get older.

5:23 Adam Crazy eyeliner. I thought she was going to do a belly dance. So I was like, listen, baby, I get this every time I come here. She's like, no, no deal. So I said, they're both the same price. What could it hurt? Just give me half the amount of the chicken and half the amount of the beef. She's like, no. I said, why? What could happen? She goes, I could get fired. I said, OK, go get the manager then. Let me think. He's not here. I said, how are you going to get fired? People could talk.

5:50 Drew She did not like you.

5:52 Adam I begged her for like 20 minutes. She told me no. And I said, fine, I'm driving to the one in Hollywood. Now, the one in Hollywood is on Western in Sunset.

6:00 Drew Normandy.

6:01 Adam Normandy in Sunset. Oh, no. It's like as the crow flies, it's 40 miles from this place. Except for a beautiful part of town with LA traffic. Well, it took me like an hour and 40 minutes to get there from the one in Van Nuys. But I drove because I will drive to get the right Armenian.

6:17 Drew Why don't you just why don't you just order full plates and eat what you wanted?

6:21 Adam I got to tell you something. I'm a man of principle. Let me tell you something else I did.

6:26 Caller Hour and a half he drove.

6:27 Adam You know my story when I went to Al Wazir over in Hollywood. I said I ordered I ordered what are the deep fried balls there? What are they? The falafel? Falafel. I got a falafel sandwich, a reach in my wallet. The guy said, I said, Oh my God, I don't have any cash. All I got is a credit card. I said, What's the minimum order? He said, $10 on a credit card. I said, All right, take $10. He said, No. I was like, What do you mean no? He's like, The sandwich is $3.99. I said, I know, just charge me $10 for the sandwich. He's like, No deal. I said, What? You don't understand. I want to pay $10 for $3.99.

7:02 Caller They just don't like him, bro.

7:03 Adam He's like, Next.

7:04 System Of A Down I heard him ranting on the radio about Armenians.

7:08 Adam I swear to God, the woman standing next to me said, Pat, it was some baklava. You just order six bucks worth of baklava. Now you're at $10.

7:17 Drew Which is always good to eat.

7:18 Adam I took another stand, though. I took another stand. I said, No, I'm not. I want to pay you $10 for the $4 falafel sandwich. He's like, No deal. So I left. You realize half the time I go in to get the food, I don't come out with anything.

7:32 Caller That's why there's no one there.

7:35 Adam I know.

7:36 Caller That's just the principle for the guy. He's like, No way. I'm not going to take seven bucks extra or whatever. Six dollars.

7:41 Drew No, that's just being a jerk.

7:42 Caller No, I don't think so.

7:44 Drew Our countries aren't that way.

7:45 Adam The point is, there's too much pride on both sides of the counter. I got too much pride. They got too much pride. Before you know it, I'm back in my car.

7:52 Drew I think it's more like they just don't like you.

7:54 Adam I think there's that element too.

7:55 Drew Because honestly, the only time I didn't get the chicken sandwich was when you guys came.

8:03 Adam Who do you guys not like? Who do you guys feud with?

8:06 Caller Armenians?

8:07 Adam Serbs or something.

8:08 Caller Turks.

8:09 Caller We don't feud with them. Here's the deal.

8:10 Drew Everybody knows about the genocide. We don't want to get into that again.

8:13 Adam Right, but who's on your S list? Because I may look like one of those guys.

8:18 Drew There's nobody on that list.

8:19 Caller Certain people are though. Nah, not really.

8:22 Adam I'm just saying, it's like if you guys were snakes, were snakes, I'd be a mongoose. You know what I mean? I think I look like the natural enemy of our community.

8:30 System Of A Down You're sort of a stuffed mongoose. Like a cut out of a mongoose.

8:33 Adam Yeah, I think they just see mongoose when I show up and they screw with me. Meanwhile, no one eats more of this food than I do.

8:40 Drew All right, hopefully this will change. Food, because we know they listen to your show.

8:45 Caller Yeah, they all do. They're up right now.

8:46 Adam Well, System Of A Down, and Stu, we're going to play something off the new CD, which we have right here, Mesmerize. And it sounds great, by the way. So what's the deal with the tour?

8:57 Caller What's going on?

8:58 Adam Playing the Long Beach Arena, August 4th and 5th. I've seen posters for the band all over the place, by the way, all over the construction sites and everything. Have you guys been seeing yourselves everywhere?

9:09 Drew Not really. We haven't really been here that much. We just got back from Europe a couple of weeks back.

9:15 Adam How was that?

9:15 Drew It was cool.

9:16 Caller It was fun.

9:17 Drew It went well.

9:18 Adam What do you like? Is Germany better than England? You like France better than the Netherlands?

9:25 Caller I'm not a big fan of the generic countries, like the Western European countries too much, except for like Spain and Portugal, which was cool. But this time I really enjoyed going to Norway. Denmark was pretty fun. Germany was cool.

9:39 Adam Who's the biggest, if you can figure it out, System Of A Down fans amongst that group, the European?

9:45 Caller It's tough.

9:46 Drew Also, the further, it's kind of weird, because the further east you go, the more reserved they are in some ways.

9:52 System Of A Down Really? Eastern Europe?

9:53 Drew Only because I think that they were under a communist rule for so long.

9:56 System Of A Down They used to be contained.

9:57 Drew They still have that. Because the cops are a little rough out there.

10:00 System Of A Down Oh, really?

10:01 Drew Yeah, a little bit, a little bit. And it seems like the further west you go, they're not quite as, you know, I don't know, I guess Nazi.

10:09 Caller Right.

10:09 System Of A Down Totalitarian.

10:10 Caller Yeah.

10:11 Drew They're a little rougher on the east. But, I don't know, it's like going from southern California to northern California. There's a difference even though we're in the same state.

10:21 Adam Well, Moskvich's off to System Of A Down, by the way, for not, you know, I mean, there are a lot of bands that have been through here over the years. Drew, did you get new frames?

10:31 System Of A Down Yeah, these are, yeah.

10:33 Caller You ran over them with his car.

10:35 Adam A lot of bands come through here, had a few hits, made a little noise, and then kind of gone away.

10:41 System Of A Down A lot of bands.

10:42 Adam A lot of bands. And you don't even, the reason you can't think of them is because you can't think of them because they went away. System Of A Down keeps coming back, which is nice.

10:54 System Of A Down And I remember you being a little anxious about this record, too, weren't you?

10:58 Drew It just took a long time for us to make the record.

11:00 System Of A Down It's really good. People must love it, right?

11:02 Drew Thank you.

11:02 Caller It took a lot of time working on it.

11:05 System Of A Down It's being well received?

11:07 Caller Oh yeah, it is. The biggest complaint is too short.

11:10 Drew More songs.

11:10 Caller Yeah, but we have another one coming out.

11:12 System Of A Down Good.

11:13 Adam When's the next one coming out?

11:15 Drew I think we're looking at November. Yeah, mid-November. We're releasing it for Hypnotize. Actually, you can kind of look at it as one album released in two parts.

11:23 Adam Is it because you had too much material for Mesmerize?

11:26 Drew You know what? I don't know if it was too much material or too much material that we felt we couldn't do without for these albums.

11:35 Adam Do you record everything and then see what you like?

11:38 Drew It was kind of tough because while we were in pre-production, Darren kept bringing songs in and it just didn't seem like the songs were getting any weaker. They were getting stronger as opposed to getting weaker. So we didn't really know what to do. And we just stayed in pre-production a little longer and they just kept getting stronger. And finally, we were like, we got to go and record, you know, otherwise we're never going to do it.

12:00 Adam So you end up with a bunch leftover that shouldn't just end up in the scrap.

12:05 Caller There was not really left over this time. This was more like we had 30 songs that we knew had to be on the record somewhere. And so we actually decided on doing the double album and Darren arranged it as a double album, like Mesmerize became Mesmerize, as Hypnotize became Hypnotize. So it's not like we had a bunch of songs leftover, so we threw them on Hypnotize. It's actually arranged to be one full album. When you play Mesmerize and then play Hypnotize, it's going to be like the one album, it's going to end kind of where it began, kind of a twist, it's really cool.

12:40 System Of A Down I think Shavo had a weave on his beard since we last saw him.

12:42 Caller A weave?

12:43 Adam Yeah, what do you got there? How long is that beard, Shavo?

12:45 Caller No, it got really long.

12:46 System Of A Down I think it's just like weaved in.

12:47 Caller Yeah, because it got much longer, yeah.

12:49 System Of A Down That can't be your own hair. It's all my food and they put in some horse hair or something.

12:52 Drew You should see his pubic hair.

12:53 System Of A Down Oh, humanity.

12:54 Caller No, no, because they braid my pubic. No, this is...

12:57 Adam Wow. It's weird.

12:59 Drew It's actually weaved from his pubic hair.

13:00 Adam 18, 19 inches. Hey, Drew, I was thinking about this as I was shaving. I hate to shave, and my Iranian brother shaved.

13:09 System Of A Down The dark man's...

13:10 Adam Share my pain. You guys have to shave too.

13:12 Drew I shaved right before I got here.

13:13 Adam I thought... That's his five o'clock shadow. I don't need to grow a beard in four days. What if we just couldn't man just be laid out to sort of shave once a month? Why do I have to do it every day? You can.

13:25 System Of A Down You can do that.

13:26 Adam No, you can't.

13:27 Drew You can do that.

13:28 Caller But I mean, you don't grow as much hair.

13:29 System Of A Down No, no, but I mean, human beings should have been set up that way.

13:34 Adam What do we need a bunch of stuff going out of our face for?

13:37 Caller I agree with you.

13:38 Drew Are you ever going to age? I swear you look exactly the same as 10 years ago when we started.

13:44 Adam He's on the juice.

13:46 Caller Here's Dr. Bruce Bates.

13:48 Drew Is he still lasering you? Is that what's happening?

13:50 System Of A Down No, no, he's not lasering. He lasered a bunch of people here last night, didn't he?

13:52 Adam Yes.

13:53 Caller I have to see that guy.

13:54 Adam Let me say, hold on, before, we're all over the floor, like we're like a stoned volleyball here. We're all over the map.

14:00 System Of A Down Why do the humans evolve? Why do they have facial hair at all? I mean, people go, oh, well, you know, it's because girls have to shave their legs. You know, hang on, the people who are trying to come up with that wish explanation go, well, the scent retains under the arm and the scent, the genitalia. Maybe where man puts his face is supposed to retain some stuff to interesting, interesting. And if he gets on the wrong side and oh, interesting.

14:20 Adam Is somebody in the neighborhood or we always go down the street or about like hair under the armpits is sort of retaining scent and spreading scent around. Because from nature like scent, you know, all dogs do, all cats do, all everything in nature do is like sniff everything. So maybe the facial hair is about keeping the woman's scent on the facial hair.

14:41 System Of A Down Let's see where he's been.

14:42 Caller Flavor savers.

14:43 System Of A Down Hey, that's my wife. Whoa, whoa, where you been?

14:45 Adam Yeah.

14:46 Caller I've got a flavor saver.

14:47 Adam That's interesting, but here's the deal. I don't want to shave four times a week. Once a month would be fine. You know, once a week.

14:52 System Of A Down Yeah, but you're married, right? You have a huge beard.

14:55 Adam I know. Why does it need? Yes, I am. Why does it need to keep coming?

14:58 Drew Because you know, you'll stop shaving.

15:00 Adam I know, but you do.

15:00 System Of A Down Because she might, you know, pick up where his beard is.

15:03 Adam You got to, I don't want to get the strippers.

15:05 Drew Oh, you went to Crazy Girls again.

15:07 Adam Yeah.

15:08 Caller I never see you there.

15:09 Adam All right. Let's take ourselves some calls. Let's go. Let's focus. Let's break it down. Let's grab a knee. Let's go now. Here we go. Here we go. Let's go. Susie. Susie, you're 17.

15:21 Caller Hi. Yeah. I have a problem. Okay. I moved in with my boyfriend about, what, like six months ago, and I barely started being sexually active with him. And well, every time he goes down on me, I like always end up like his face or something.

15:45 System Of A Down Is that with the orgasm or do you just lose control?

15:50 Caller I don't know if it's like an orgasm or not. I mean, it's like my first time actually ever doing anything.

15:55 System Of A Down Does it feel like you're having a huge release? Like you would imagine orgasm would feel?

15:59 Caller Yeah. I mean, it feels good, but it's embarrassing.

16:02 Adam Listen, if you're not having an orgasm, this guy's getting a bad deal.

16:06 System Of A Down Yeah. So is he...

16:08 Adam Because that's the only good part about getting whizzed on.

16:10 System Of A Down Is he okay with this at this point in time?

16:13 Adam Shavo's beard could wick up just about anything she put out.

16:16 System Of A Down Yeah.

16:17 Adam I would bet.

16:17 System Of A Down Oh, yeah.

16:18 Adam Not a drop hits the comforter with Shavo's beard.

16:20 System Of A Down Absolutely.

16:21 Adam It's like whizzing into a roll of bounty.

16:23 Drew Shavo, your beard is kind of light colored lately. It is?

16:25 Adam Yeah. What's going on?

16:26 It's the sun, dude.

16:28 Drew Sure, it's the sun.

16:29 System Of A Down Yeah.

16:30 Adam All right. So look, on one hand, if you're not... If we have to ask if you're having an orgasm, maybe you're not having an orgasm.

16:37 System Of A Down I think she is, though. I think I get the sense she is, though.

16:39 Adam All right.

16:40 System Of A Down And that the deal is, so that's good. So you're able to have orgasm, but you're unable to control yourself. And is your boyfriend... The question then becomes, is your boyfriend have a problem with this?

16:48 Caller No, I don't think he does.

16:49 System Of A Down All right, then. All right. There you go. Some women.

16:51 Caller Is it pee that comes out? It can't be pee that comes out.

16:54 System Of A Down Well, it can be. There is orgasm.

16:55 Caller If it was pee.

16:56 System Of A Down Well, there is orgasmic incontinence, and there also is a female ejaculation.

16:59 Caller I know the female ejaculation, but that doesn't smell like pee.

17:01 System Of A Down And then there are people that begin to argue that it's all urinary incontinence. You've heard this.

17:04 Adam Yes. Yes, I did.

17:05 System Of A Down I don't know.

17:06 Drew I should hook you up with my lawyer. I think he's into this stuff.

17:10 Adam I'll tell you, I would be freaked out if I went down on a chick and I knew this was coming.

17:15 System Of A Down You'd be a little shy.

17:17 Drew You know what, though? You've had like shop classes and stuff, so you probably have that protective...

17:22 System Of A Down There's your shop welding face.

17:24 Drew Yeah, you put that on. The thing flaps down, except for I can't get to the ladies with the welding mask on. No, but when you feel the legs buckle, you just pop it down.

17:33 Adam That's smart.

17:33 System Of A Down How about just a visor, like an old-fashioned accountants' earring?

17:37 Caller A green one?

17:37 System Of A Down A green visor, yeah.

17:38 Drew Goggles with windshield wipers on.

17:41 Caller Yeah. No, just kind of like...

17:42 System Of A Down Shop goggles? Shop goggles?

17:44 Drew Lift your head.

17:44 Caller How's that? Lift your head when it's happening.

17:46 Adam Yeah, so you just give it...

17:48 Drew Saran wrap, maybe?

17:48 Adam Just whiz on your neck, yeah. Yeah, I'm just saying, Drew is a man of passion, and Drew says this would never get old for him. For me, it would get old very quickly.

17:58 System Of A Down I think you're probably in the majority.

17:59 Adam Especially if you married the chick, and you guys were now in your 60s, and she was still whizzing on you. And by the way, a chick who whizzes on you when she's 18 or 19, let me tell you, when she's 60, there's more than whizz coming out. You're getting a soft swirl too, brother. You're getting a mud pack.

18:16 Drew Wow, we left some carousels in this.

18:18 Adam But you understand, you're getting everything.

18:20 Caller You're getting frozen yogurt.

18:21 Adam You're getting hit with transmission fluid.

18:24 System Of A Down And a prolapse rectum.

18:25 Adam You're getting everything. You might get hit with some intestine. You know what I'm saying?

18:30 Caller Yeah, that's a bad man.

18:33 Adam I'm just saying that's what you got to look forward to.

18:35 System Of A Down But good times.

18:36 Adam But good times.

18:37 System Of A Down It takes all kinds.

18:38 Adam All right, let's talk.

18:39 Muzzle, muzzle.

18:42 Drew Good things.

18:43 System Of A Down It's a mid-span.

18:45 Adam Let's talk to Judy, who's 21.

18:48 Caller Hi, I'm a long-time listener, first-time caller. I'm calling about the Today Sponge, which I've been reading about online. I know it was recalled from the market in, I believe, 98, and it's being brought out again, and I was always online now, but-

19:07 System Of A Down I think it's a good idea. I've always been a fan of that sponge. I think the reason it was taken off the market was more for liability reasons than anything else, not efficacy. It's always been a very effective means of birth control. If you want to be extra careful-

19:19 Adam Oh, I think I read something about that. Some of them burst into flames when they were hit from the side with a penis.

19:25 System Of A Down It just side hits, yes. There was no side impact.

19:27 Combustion.

19:29 Adam I saw a whole report on 48 Hours.

19:32 System Of A Down Ford was in trouble.

19:33 Caller It was makeup sponges.

19:35 System Of A Down But the deal is, Judy, if you want to be extra super careful, a condom plus a sponge is really excellent cover. A long ago, I was advocating that.

19:42 Adam What is the sponge? Is it impregnated upon the pun with some sort of-

19:47 System Of A Down Yeah, spermicide. It looks like a disc, like a red blood cell, really. Or like a diaphragm.

19:54 Adam I don't know what a red blood cell looks like. What am I, one of your buddies from the hospital? You idiot.

19:59 Caller I hang around with idiots from the Valley.

20:01 Adam I didn't even know I had a red blood cell.

20:02 Caller Do you know protect aid? What's that now? It's called protect aid. It's made by Canada.

20:09 System Of A Down I don't- by Canada?

20:11 Drew Canada makes it.

20:11 System Of A Down It's in Canada.

20:13 Drew The country.

20:13 Caller The country is producing protect aid.

20:16 System Of A Down I'm not familiar with that, but I'm sure it's the same basic thing.

20:18 Caller Yeah, it will be the same as the today's sponge, except it has an extra spermicide that helps prevent STDs and things like that.

20:25 System Of A Down Well, the STD thing, spermicides really are not meant to do anything except add an extra barrier to contraception. Do not use that as a means of protecting against STDs.

20:33 Adam Is there an applicator?

20:34 System Of A Down No, it's just you squish it and push it.

20:37 Adam Nah, I don't go for that.

20:38 System Of A Down You wet it down a bit.

20:39 Adam I would need some special tools.

20:41 System Of A Down It's got like a stirrup on it. It's got like a stirrup.

20:43 Adam Something that's been telescoped, some kind of pincher things on it.

20:46 Drew You can use a kabob stick.

20:48 Adam Yeah.

20:50 Drew Kabob sticks.

20:51 Adam Let me tell you, what I get, I get the Kafka, I get the Schwarm, I get the, what's the things that look like the donkey wee-wees? With the long, you know, they do, they take the ground meat and they make it look like a, oh, lula kabob, yeah, lula kabob.

21:08 Drew What's a Kafka?

21:09 System Of A Down I'm getting hungry.

21:10 Adam Oh, maybe Kafka.

21:11 Caller I call it something else, yeah.

21:13 Adam Maybe I got something else in there.

21:14 Caller No, Kafka is lula, I think.

21:15 Adam Oh, lula kabob is Kafka, yeah. Oh, that's the good one. You know, I'll tell you what they do, they take the ground beef and they work, they go ahead and they work the parsley and everything and then they shape it into a penis.

21:27 Drew You know what, that makes a great contraceptive.

21:29 Caller Wait, but how did you go from like the Today Sponge?

21:31 Adam I was just talking about that.

21:33 Drew You know that garlic makes a great contraceptive.

21:35 Adam Yeah, garlic makes a great, yeah. It's really, it's sort of, you feel gay eating it, you know, because it's meaty. Well, you are. It's about the size, you know, but it's good eat.

21:46 Drew You have to take bites, though. That's the one thing you haven't figured out. He's a forklift swaddle.

21:50 Adam I just keep working it until it dissolves. All right, let's hear something from System Of A Down.

21:55 Drew Can we do that?

21:55 Adam Yeah, sure. What are we going to hear? I got my paper written down here.

22:00 Caller Yes, playing non-single.

22:02 Adam Yeah. Yeah, we're going to play. We're going to play question. Is that not a second one?

22:07 Yeah, go for it.

22:07 Adam And then second one in second hour, we'll play whatever you guys want.

22:10 System Of A Down Be well, be well.

22:11 Caller Whatever you want.

22:13 Adam Okay, System Of Down, question.

25:35 Yeah!

25:36 Caller Yeah!

25:38 Adam Fooled me. Thought they were gonna rock them, but there's a little more rock left in System Of A Down. Yeah. Man. That's why everyone loves System Of A Down, everybody. We will take ourselves a quick break. Shavo, John here from System Of A Down. Welcome back. We'll play a little Germany or Florida. We got four people in studio tonight, so there's gonna be some wagering going on.

25:58 System Of A Down We're just back from Germany.

26:00 Adam Oh, so they know. All right, we'll take a quick break. Be right back after this.

26:05 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1.

26:08 Caller Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

26:11 We'll be right back.

26:13 Loveline is brought to you by Wanted.

26:14 The one and only Live 105.

26:30 Adam Yeah, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. John and Shavo both here from System Of A Down. We will hear something else off the new CD in the 11 o'clock hour. All right, should we talk more about kebabs, or do you want to keep pushing forward?

26:47 System Of A Down Let's push forward.

26:48 Adam Please. Germany or Florida?

26:50 System Of A Down Oh yeah.

26:50 Adam Yeah, all right, Tia is 22. Tia?

26:54 Hi.

26:55 Adam What's up, baby doll?

26:56 Caller Baby doll.

26:58 Doll face. A gynecologist is accused of having sex with a patient while hooked up to an ultrasound machine so he could watch his performance. A medical review board has heard testimony from a woman who had a six-year affair with a senior gynecologist at the local hospital. The woman testified that the doctor once used the scanning machine to monitor his own performance, but that it didn't do much for her because the image was too blurry. She continued to testify about making love with the doctor on hospital grounds, operating rooms, and that he once persuaded her to wear a catheter during sex, claiming it would get for better orgasms. The doctor denied professional misconduct and has retired to another country. He was not represented at the hearing.

27:43 System Of A Down Oh my, that all sounds American.

27:45 Adam A lot of twists and turns here. Well, here's the thing. It does everything bad feels Floridian, but this has a little Nazi scientist in it.

27:58 System Of A Down A little boot, little dust boat, you know what I mean?

28:01 Adam A little high, leather, a little other than that. It's taking technology and mixing it with bizarre sexual acts. Whereas Florida, it's more like took a rag filled with gas, the chick passed out during the dumpster.

28:17 System Of A Down Yeah, yeah, I agree with you, but you're getting away to another country and all the legal ramifications.

28:22 Adam This is high tech for Florida.

28:23 System Of A Down You're right, you're right. The guy's got a senior gynecologist.

28:27 Adam It's tough.

28:28 System Of A Down I'm going Florida.

28:29 Adam Florida? John, what do you think? Germany or Florida?

28:32 Drew I'm going to go Florida.

28:34 Adam Florida, Shavo?

28:35 Caller No clue. Germany, because he has also Florida.

28:37 Adam Germany?

28:38 Caller Why not?

28:39 Adam I'm with Shavo, because this kid is lucky. He's my four-leaf clover.

28:45 Drew What's the bet?

28:45 Adam Actually, he's a pot leaf.

28:46 System Of A Down Oh, man, is he?

28:47 Adam Oh, man. Shut up, dude. His mom might be lucky.

28:54 System Of A Down Did that laugh?

28:55 Adam Oh, my God. She doesn't know. He's been laughing that way since the ninth grade. She just thinks he's in a good mood. All right.

29:05 Caller You're making fun of me, dude.

29:06 Adam No, I mean, yeah. It's kind of doing it. All right. But OK, so we got to Florida.

29:14 System Of A Down Yeah. To Germany, to Germany.

29:16 Adam All right. All right. Here we go. Tia, is it Germany or Florida?

29:20 It's Germany.

29:21 Caller Oh, yeah.

29:27 Adam That's right.

29:28 Caller Right here up top.

29:29 Drew High five. That probably happens in Florida every day. So it's OK.

29:33 Adam That's just sour grapes.

29:35 System Of A Down Yeah.

29:36 Adam This particular time and we're going to get it back.

29:38 System Of A Down We'll get it back.

29:38 Drew Is there another one happening?

29:39 System Of A Down Oh, there will be no.

29:41 Caller John's very kind of like to lose.

29:42 System Of A Down He's going back to Vegas.

29:43 Caller Yeah.

29:43 System Of A Down That was happened there.

29:44 Adam What happened? You made money.

29:46 Caller He's got it still in his pocket.

29:47 System Of A Down Chips.

29:48 Adam You got chips?

29:48 Caller You got chips.

29:49 Adam Oh, my God. Oh, my God. He has six grand in his pocket right now. Wow. A bundle of money. What were you playing?

29:57 Caller Should I show you my two bucks?

29:59 System Of A Down What's your game?

30:00 Caller Twenty one quarters.

30:01 Drew I actually played poker over there.

30:03 Adam Poker.

30:03 Drew Yeah.

30:04 Adam And then you want and and and is it Texas Hold'em? Is that all they play?

30:08 Drew That's all I play.

30:09 System Of A Down That's the tournament stuff, though, right?

30:10 Drew No, I didn't play tournament. I just played like, you know, sat down on the table and played.

30:14 Adam Wow.

30:15 System Of A Down That's fun.

30:15 Adam Yeah. See, there's too much thinking going on. With the with the poker for me, like I can get freaked out.

30:22 Drew But see, that's that's the point is when I play poker, I kind of do it to forget about everything else.

30:27 System Of A Down Yeah.

30:27 Drew Yeah.

30:27 Adam I mean, you can't think about anything else.

30:29 Drew I can't concentrate on anything else and it relaxes me.

30:31 Adam Right.

30:32 Drew That's kind of what I do to relax.

30:33 Adam Right. You know what I do to relax? I relax. That's my thing.

30:38 Drew But when I relax, I don't relax because I'm always thinking about something.

30:40 Adam I know. That's why you got to relax to relax. That's what I do. Yeah. Shavo over there. Shavo.

30:46 Caller If I have to work, I'll work. If I don't, I know how to relax too. Yeah.

30:49 Adam I'm good too.

30:50 Caller Yeah.

30:50 Adam We should teach classes on how to relax.

30:52 Drew I like that. I like to take that class.

30:54 Adam And eat.

30:54 Caller Eat and relax.

30:55 Adam Yeah. Eat this brownie and relax with Shavo.

30:58 System Of A Down Or take Adam's medicine.

30:59 Adam You should have a Sunday. You should have like a cable show relaxing with Shavo.

31:02 Drew And then you wake up naked on a Sunday, but you don't know who's Sunday.

31:05 Adam You give tips on like how to unplug the phone, how not to answer the door.

31:10 Drew You have called Shavo.

31:13 Caller I don't know if you know.

31:13 Adam Yeah. Gotta relax.

31:15 Drew And I live five minutes away from him.

31:16 Caller Yeah, you do.

31:17 Adam Nick, how come, now, Drew, how does this work? Some guys have a motor in them. You know what I mean? John's got a motor.

31:23 System Of A Down I think not only is that an emotional thing, but I think it's part of the autonomic nervous system. Have we talked about this?

31:28 Adam Yeah.

31:28 System Of A Down That some people have parasympathetic system, which is the part that sort of down regulates and you barely have a pulse.

31:34 Adam Right.

31:34 System Of A Down And there are guys at John and me that's going 90 beats a minute all the time and they got the sympathetic system up. Yeah. Passionate guys.

31:41 Adam Passionate men. Yeah. You guys have motors. Shavo's got a squirrel running on a wheel.

31:48 System Of A Down Yeah.

31:48 Adam You know what I mean?

31:49 System Of A Down And he's run out of steam.

31:50 Caller He sees me here.

31:50 Adam He just takes a little bit.

31:51 Caller Squirrel's dead. No.

31:52 System Of A Down The squirrel's just going upside down on the wheel.

31:55 Caller The wheel's moving faster.

31:56 Caller Yeah.

31:58 Caller All right.

31:59 Adam But look, who won the Germany or Florida?

32:01 System Of A Down I'm just saying you're right.

32:02 Adam Squirrel wheels or the guys with the big hemis?

32:04 System Of A Down There you go.

32:05 Adam Nick? Yeah.

32:07 Drew We overthought it.

32:07 System Of A Down That's too much power is not good.

32:09 Adam Yeah. That's right. You know what? You know what? Let me tell you something. You know what you guys do? You got too much power, but you can't get it down to the track. You're just burning out. Yeah. She just lit up the rear tires when me and Shavo got a nice launch.

32:19 Caller Nice little coasting.

32:21 Adam You guys burnt up your pressure plate and just peeling the rubber off the tires. Well, we got a nice launch.

32:25 Caller Cruising, you know?

32:26 Adam Yeah, we're cruising.

32:27 Caller Yeah, yeah.

32:27 System Of A Down Relaxing. We heated up the back end spins off the track.

32:30 Caller Yeah, yeah.

32:31 System Of A Down You guys just brody.

32:32 Caller Yeah.

32:32 Caller You guys start spinning.

32:33 Adam Nick?

32:35 System Of A Down Yep.

32:35 Adam 19?

32:37 Caller Yes, sir.

32:37 System Of A Down I just saw what thinks are actually the track right now.

32:42 Oh, Nick.

32:44 Adam Drew, quiet. Go ahead.

32:47 Caller Well, I'm 19. My girlfriend's 22, right?

32:49 Adam Yeah.

32:50 Caller We've been going after six months.

32:52 Caller She's got a three old kid. That's her story.

32:56 Caller She's from a...

32:57 System Of A Down What do you mean that's her story? What does that mean?

32:58 Well, I mean, that's, I guess that's a little bit of her...

33:01 Adam That's her situation.

33:02 Caller Her situation, thank you.

33:04 System Of A Down Yeah.

33:04 Adam All right.

33:05 Caller Um, I'm from a good part of the city. She's from a lower class part of the city, and she wants to get married.

33:11 System Of A Down But she's hot.

33:12 Drew She wants to get married? Are you surprised?

33:15 Caller Six months?

33:16 Adam Yeah.

33:17 Caller She just wants, uh, what's the question?

33:19 Drew Stability is what she wants.

33:20 Caller A daddy for the baby.

33:22 Caller Well, I don't know how to answer this. I mean, I don't know whether to say yes or no. And if I say yes, is that the right decision? I mean...

33:30 System Of A Down I see. So you're in for the new word.

33:32 Drew Hey now.

33:32 Adam All right. Here's, here's the deal. When you're 19, you have every excuse in the world. Anytime, what is the age which you can sort of play the, I'm just too young to get married card?

33:44 Drew 35.

33:44 System Of A Down Under 25. For sure under 25.

33:47 Drew Up to 35.

33:48 Adam Yeah. I think John is just moving.

33:50 System Of A Down You can play it up to 35, but under 25, you just, you don't even need to, it's a buy.

33:54 Adam No, I know.

33:54 System Of A Down Yeah.

33:55 Adam I know. Yeah. That's, that's, that's the point. So at 19...

33:58 System Of A Down At 19, it's absurd.

33:59 Adam You don't even have to discuss.

34:00 System Of A Down Yeah.

34:01 Drew Forget about it, guy.

34:01 System Of A Down It shows that she's kind of disturbed too.

34:04 Drew By the way, if my, the only bit of advice I can give, you're going to do what you want to do, but don't even think about having sex without a condom.

34:14 Adam Yeah, because then you're locked in. And here's the other deal too. You, well, the way he was talking about her, I mean, this isn't love.

34:23 System Of A Down No.

34:23 Caller This is her deal means this is what I don't like about her.

34:26 Drew He's been dating her for six months.

34:27 Caller Yeah.

34:28 System Of A Down He feels guilty.

34:28 Drew He doesn't know if he's in love.

34:30 Caller But he's 19 years old.

34:31 System Of A Down How can he know anything?

34:32 Adam I know, and he's talking about her like she's damaged goods. You know, it's just, if you want to play the field.

34:38 Caller When she comes from a lower class, that was kind of weird. Well, listen, don't get married, you're too young. Enjoy the frat life and also don't waste your time.

34:48 Adam And he was like, she comes from a bad part of town, which is like, what does that mean? They used to sing about that in the 50s. Like what?

34:57 Drew You know what it is? He lives in Beverly Hills, she's from Brentwood.

34:59 Adam She comes from the wrong side of the tracks.

35:02 System Of A Down He's got half a soul.

35:03 Adam He's calling from Kansas City.

35:04 System Of A Down He's got half a soul. He's realizing he's exploiting her and feeling guilty about it.

35:07 Adam All right, I'm not going to be yelling at him. Nick, Nick, shut up, shut up. Just break up with her. You're not that into her. She's got kids. You're 19.

35:15 System Of A Down You want to have a good time.

35:16 Adam It's not going to work. You're going to get the kid attached to you.

35:19 Drew She's going to get pregnant with your kid.

35:21 Caller Live it up.

35:21 Adam Just be a man and buck up and break up. All right.

35:24 Caller All right.

35:25 Adam All right.

35:26 Caller You heard it at your first.

35:27 Adam Yeah. And Nick didn't sound like any prize.

35:30 Caller Yeah, he's like, all right.

35:31 System Of A Down Nick's a natural frat boy. One of them doesn't know his asthma's on.

35:34 Adam Yeah. Mark?

35:37 Yeah.

35:38 Adam Fifteen?

35:39 Yeah.

35:40 Adam You got a question for the band?

35:42 Caller Yeah.

35:43 Adam All right.

35:44 Caller Yeah.

35:45 Adam Try to contain your excitement.

35:46 Caller Yeah.

35:47 Caller Yeah. Well, first off, let me say, Adam, you're a freaking genius, man.

35:54 Adam Thank you.

35:54 Caller Yeah.

35:55 Adam And now I've now labeled you a genius as well.

35:58 System Of A Down For realizing Adam's genius.

35:59 Adam Well, why not?

36:00 System Of A Down That's what I'm saying.

36:01 Adam Takes a great genius to recognize my genius and a big man to admit my genius.

36:05 Drew By the way, I got a comment that, hold on one sec. I really like your Hawaiian motif shirt.

36:11 Adam Well, I knew the band was coming in, so I tried to put something together.

36:13 Drew And I also have to say that I'm a little mad because my fiance made me throw away all my Hawaiian motif shirts.

36:18 Adam Oh, really?

36:19 System Of A Down Yeah.

36:19 Drew As a condition of us getting married.

36:20 System Of A Down Well, it's just the beginning, John. Just the beginning.

36:22 Caller Yeah.

36:23 Adam The hampers just to be in the porn is the next step.

36:26 Drew No, no, no, no.

36:27 Adam Believe me.

36:27 System Of A Down Oh, how dare you? I said good day.

36:30 Drew I set my limits.

36:31 Adam There's not a forklift big enough to get that porn out at John's house. We're talking about multiple, multiple trips. We're talking about heavy equipment. You know what?

36:38 Drew VHS is heavy too. Sound like DVD.

36:42 Caller Yeah.

36:42 Adam All right, go ahead. Ask the band a question.

36:45 Caller All right. Well, first of all, you guys are awesome. And I was wondering, what's the writing process you guys go through because your music is great?

36:51 Caller Well, there is a few process, but the main one is Darren writes a lot of music and he plays in a song. Yeah, and we play along to it.

36:59 Drew That's basically it.

37:00 Caller But, you know, Sergi brings in stuff, I bring in stuff.

37:06 Adam How much shape do the songs take once you guys start actually playing them? Do they change?

37:13 Drew They change somewhat, but pretty much, I mean, you got to hand it to the guy. He does have a mind and a soul for it. You know, he writes really interesting music and it's out there. You know, I could never write it personally.

37:26 Adam Listen, my hat's off for you guys to not, you know, claim credit for something you don't feel you deserve credit for. Well, because a lot of people do that. I mean, especially in this town, a lot of people just, you know, say they're a producer on a show and don't actually do anything on the show. When they're at a party trying to get laid, they claim it's their idea.

37:46 Drew Yeah, half my friends do that. Half my friends, when we go out, they're managers or red car drivers. What's up, Mike? You know what I'm talking about, right, Mikey?

37:53 Caller Mikey.

37:55 Adam Yeah, they even take it a step further. Even when they're not involved with the show, they just claim it's their idea.

38:00 System Of A Down Race car driver.

38:01 Caller That's the coolest one.

38:02 Drew Listen, I mean, I'm not saying we're not involved in any way, but everybody has kind of a position in the band. And Serg brings in some really interesting material, sort of Shavo. I have never written a song for this band. But the bottom line is Darren does have a lot of the artistic vision when it comes to the music.

38:20 Caller He's good at it. You know what I mean?

38:21 Caller If someone's good at something, you let the guy do it. If someone has a talent for something.

38:25 Drew We're going to do it on Loveline. You don't see Darren up here.

38:28 Adam That's the other thing too.

38:29 Caller It's a team. It's like don't make a wide receiver a quarterback because he doesn't know how to throw the ball.

38:33 System Of A Down Serg was good. He came up here that one time. He was good. How come he doesn't come back?

38:36 Drew He is. But we like to keep it to two of us.

38:39 System Of A Down Here's the thing. I get it.

38:41 Caller That's fine.

38:43 Drew We really enjoyed that.

38:44 Adam Let's talk about this for a second. I think a lot of comedy teams, a lot of bands, a lot of people get into trouble after they start having success because everyone wants their vision recognized and people get jealous because somebody gets more credit than the next guy.

39:02 Caller No, that still happens to us.

39:03 Adam Yeah, but I mean, you guys are making money, you're traveling the world, you're having a lifestyle you probably only dreamt of. Why let the ego start getting involved? Why start screwing up this beautiful ride you're on by wanting credit, claiming this, wanting to sort of... You know what I'm talking about?

39:21 Caller Yeah, but if you do it, then yeah, you deserve the credit, but if you don't, you should just... I mean, we're like four guys who are not jealous of each other, and not envious of each other. We all know what we do, we all know what we're good at, and we give each other the respect. It's a full respect issue.

39:37 Caller Yeah, that's right.

39:39 Adam Everyone's making money, everyone's traveling, everyone's having a good time.

39:41 Drew Why screw it up? We're confident in whatever talents each of us have.

39:45 Adam Right.

39:45 Drew You know, I'm very content to play drums for this band and do whatever I can to help this band. And I have a very deep realization that I wouldn't have been able to make it without the rest of the guys in this band, so.

39:56 Adam This is why chick bands never last long, because they can't do this. They can't do it because what happens is, Belinda Carlisle is Rolling Stone called, and they want just Belinda for the cover of the magazine.

40:09 Caller Well, they want to just search for the cover, and we didn't do Rolling Stone for that reason, because we do things as a band, and then we don't like, unless it's a guitar magazine or a bass magazine, that's what we didn't do it. We said, no, unless you can put the whole band, then we don't want to be on the cover.

40:22 Adam But then, if Serge is cool with it, then that's cool.

40:25 Caller Serge is cool with it.

40:26 Drew Serge would be the first one.

40:27 Adam And that's good, because.

40:28 Caller Serge is the first one who said it.

40:29 Adam Belinda Carlisle gets mad at the rest of the go-goes, the next thing you know, she's go-going her own way.

40:34 Drew And you know what happens is, what happens is, I think that the more successful or more well-known a band gets, the more people want to see that success destroyed or tarnished. They want to see something bad happen to that.

40:47 Adam Right.

40:48 Drew You know, because I have a very deep philosophy that I think is true, and that's misery loves company.

40:53 Adam Yes.

40:54 Drew And when you have something good, people are not so happy for you sometimes. People want you to live where they're at.

41:03 Adam Yeah.

41:03 Drew Well, it's a selfish way to think, but that's the reality of life.

41:07 Adam But if you think about it, it's true. I mean, you just sort of do the math. Drew and I were talking about all these magazines that the ladies read, and we believe they end up getting envious and jealous and then depressed. They open the magazine, they see all the beautiful women walking down the red carpet, look at the designer dresses and wear. I see my wife looking at these magazines. At first she's delighted, but then she looks at me and says, how come we're not going down any red carpets? Why don't I have a designer dress? And before you know it, there's just like envy going on. And then depression follows that.

41:38 Drew Well, it goes a lot further than that because we're four members of a band. We each have circles of friends that we hang out with, and we run into people here and there. And a lot of people would really like to stir up things between us. You know, like they'll come up to me and say, you're the best part of the band. What's up with the other? Who cares about the other guy's stuff? And if you're not grounded and if you don't know your place in the world and if you don't know your place in the band and also what everybody else does to make that a success, then you can definitely lose control of your ego.

42:11 Adam No, I'm just saying, I've seen it a thousand times.

42:15 Drew Like Shavo has.

42:15 Adam Yeah, everything, so many bands, everything rolled along great, somebody gets an ego, an ex-CNO, boom, and a year later, no paychecks, no European tours, no nothing.

42:25 Drew We're not saying we're perfect, you know, we have our dramas, we have our problems, but you know, we, I think that this band is special because we can overcome anything.

42:35 Adam All right, that's a good note to go out on. System Of Down in studio tonight, Javanjahn here representing. We'll take ourselves a quick break, be right back after this.

42:47 Loveline will be right back, so get your problems ready.

42:51 Caller Loveline is brought to you by the American Legacy Foundation. It's free, it's informative, it's powerful, it's true.

43:02 Caller The one and only. Live 105.

43:08 Adam Hey everybody, it's Loveline and Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Shavo is here tonight. John is here tonight.

43:14 Drew Hello.

43:15 Adam John just told me he was going to do his own project called Taboo 9. Maybe a band together.

43:20 Drew What are you talking about? They're like up to 28 right now.

43:22 Adam Taboo 28.

43:23 Caller Taboo 26.

43:24 Adam Yeah. John, Shavo here from System Of Down. We'll hear something else in 11 o'clock hour. Off of that newish CD, let's talk to Tara for now who's 24. Tara?

43:35 Caller Hi.

43:36 Adam Hey, what's up?

43:38 Caller I want to know, my boyfriend wants to have anal sex and then have me do oral sex on him.

43:45 System Of A Down Ooh, no.

43:45 Caller A2M? No good.

43:47 System Of A Down No, it's too gleeful about this.

43:49 Caller No good.

43:50 System Of A Down No, I don't believe you.

43:52 Adam I'm okay with it.

43:53 System Of A Down No question.

43:55 Caller So terrible.

43:57 Adam Is this bogus?

43:58 System Of A Down This is bogus, Tara.

43:59 Adam This is bogus.

44:00 Caller I'm just really excited.

44:02 Caller No, it's not bogus at all.

44:04 System Of A Down There's a question.

44:05 Adam Okay, here's the thing.

44:05 System Of A Down Here's the question. Is it safe for me to eat Duke? Yeah. That's the question. I'm just asking. Is it?

44:11 Adam No, the oral-veetle route is a bad route.

44:14 System Of A Down Right, but my point is that's not a question. That's not a bright, young 24-year-old is not asking that question.

44:20 Adam Yeah. Yeah. And here's the thing.

44:22 System Of A Down One of our stoner 12, 15-year-olds. Okay.

44:24 Adam Okay. And here's the thing. If you want to go the anal-oral route, it's not something you map out in advance with your old lady. It's something you map out in your own head, but you keep it to yourself. Then you spring it on her.

44:39 Drew Is this a Germany or Florida question?

44:41 System Of A Down And what is it? What is it for him? I mean, there's nothing in it for him. That's why we even be pushing on this.

44:45 Adam Yeah, but why?

44:46 Caller He's been watching too many pornos.

44:47 System Of A Down Yeah, just tile down.

44:48 Adam Why does he need her to sign some sort of consent form before he does it?

44:52 Drew No, maybe he's trying to give her a dirty sentence.

44:55 System Of A Down The point is a guy who's actually trying to pull this off would not bring it up. He would just try to pull it off. Yeah. So that's what makes it bogus again.

45:03 Adam Pardon the pun, is a cold cock. This is not a boxing match, you know what I mean? You don't go up to a guy in a bar and go, I'm gonna come back in about 20 minutes and hit you in the back of the head. Well, you're not looking, you just go do it.

45:15 Caller You see what I'm saying? Cold cock.

45:19 Caller Tara?

45:21 System Of A Down So it all adds up to violence.

45:22 Adam I really, I don't, I don't, unless you're something just exquisitely effed up about you and your relationship.

45:29 Caller Why are you excited?

45:30 Adam Yeah.

45:30 Caller Why am I excited?

45:31 System Of A Down Yes.

45:32 Adam Yeah.

45:32 Caller Oh, because I'm talking to you guys and I've listened to you forever.

45:34 Caller I'm 25. I go to college. I'm about to have my bachelor's degree in psychology.

45:39 Adam Cool boy.

45:40 Caller In December. So I, and actually I was a sex educator too and I just didn't know the answer to that question.

45:47 System Of A Down No, yes you do. Of course you do. Oh, please. Tara, now you're making it extra bogus.

45:50 Adam Yeah. Listen.

45:52 System Of A Down Come on.

45:52 Adam In prison we call that a fudgical.

45:54 System Of A Down And by the way, and by the way, there's a rule here that you can't-

45:58 Adam Juvie.

45:58 System Of A Down When you called out in a bogus call, you can't continue to maintain that it's not. Yeah.

46:03 Caller No, it's really not bogus.

46:04 Adam Okay.

46:05 System Of A Down You're a sex educator. You don't know the risks of this?

46:13 Caller You'd be eating doo-doo.

46:14 Adam Yeah. Here's the thing. I would not only not do this that night, I would give it a 60-day cool down period. I would have the guy's penis quarantined. You understand? Like an astronaut coming back from space. You know, you guys stay over here. We're going to have scientists check you out.

46:30 System Of A Down Oh, yeah.

46:31 Adam Rub a few things over to a Geiger counter, make sure everything's fine before we release you into society.

46:36 System Of A Down The bacteria that you get from that part of your body can cause all kinds of things. Not least of which are urinary tract infections or infections near the skin, and there are oral fecal transmissions of various kinds of pathogens that it just wiping things down or taking an enema. Don't flush the bacteria out of your cold.

46:54 Adam And then the humiliating conversation you have to have with the doctor. So now, how did these pallets develop? ATM? ATM. We will take ourselves a quick break. Sorry, I know it's fast, but we'll run late and then we push up against the top of the hour. System Of A Down in studio tonight. We'll take a quick break. We'll hear something off the CD, we'll take more calls, all that after this. Let's turn it up a little bit. Not that anyone knew the song we were going to play, but we're going to play something different than what we were going to play off of Mesmerize. You guys are going out with who were we talking about?

48:16 Caller We're going out with Mars Volta, and for the first leg, it's the Bad Asset Trip opening up the show, and for the second leg, it's a band called Hella from up north.

48:25 Adam Did you guys, how does this work? Do you guys find these guys? They send you stuff? Do people match you up?

48:31 Caller Well, here's what used to happen to us. Our management or someone would just put a band before us that sold, you know?

48:35 Caller Right.

48:36 Caller And that band would go on representing us and we would find out later on and be like, we don't even like this band.

48:41 Caller Right.

48:41 Caller I mean, they're cool people, but we wanted bands that we actually like to listen to, to play.

48:48 Caller Right.

48:48 Caller So it could be a good show, not just everyone waiting for System To Go On, you know? So our fans could actually see something cool before we play. So that's how it went on.

48:57 Drew The worst thing to do is go to your show and not want to be there because there's bands that you don't enjoy.

49:02 Caller I want to watch a band before I play, maybe.

49:04 System Of A Down Your own show.

49:07 Adam Yeah, but see, I don't want a band that rocks too hard going on in front of my band.

49:11 Drew We don't worry about that.

49:12 Adam I know you guys are confident.

49:13 Drew When we get on stage, we're not worried about that.

49:16 Caller Who will play it before us or who's going to play it after us, about what's happening at the time.

49:19 Adam Yeah, I know. It's all relative, you know?

49:22 Caller We like those. Who has the biggest phallus?

49:25 Drew It's all, you know, to us, Ven, we just do our thing and anybody else who wants to come up and do their thing is fine with us.

49:32 Adam I know. It's very secure of you, but I would not... If I was a band like Green Day is a good live band, great live band, I don't want Green Day going on and then going on after Green Day. If I'm playing...

49:44 Caller They can go on before us if they want to.

49:45 Adam I know. Well, you guys are confident. I'm saying we'll talk about my band.

49:48 Caller I'd love that.

49:49 Adam If I had a band.

49:49 Drew The non-existing Hawaiian.

49:50 Adam The non-existing Hawaiian shirt band. Yeah.

49:53 Drew I'll play drums for you.

49:54 Adam Actually, Jizz Grenade was the name of the band.

49:56 Drew I think I have one or two shirts left.

49:58 Adam Yeah, last night. Yeah, you play. Well, John, you're sitting in with our band. But the point is, I want to go in... I want to go on after a band that didn't rock too hard.

50:09 System Of A Down Rock hard enough to jack up the group.

50:11 Adam Keep the crowd going, but I don't want to look bad.

50:14 Drew You know what it is though? When you have quality playing with you in the same night, it inspires you to play.

50:19 System Of A Down Now, this reminds me of what Adam said about his penis. He likes taking a snow globe with a little village in it and holding it up to his penis so all the villagers think that it's a giant penis looking down on him.

50:29 Adam That's the way I do it.

50:30 System Of A Down So he needs a crappy band to go on before him. People think he's such a great musician.

50:34 Adam I'll tell you what I'm thinking about. I got to do this Comedy Central roast coming up in like a week and a half. I always hate doing them. There's a lot of guys that are pretty good at it because they do it a lot. You don't want to go up after a guy that just killed. Because you ain't going to be as good as that guy who just killed. You don't want a guy to throw a wet blanket on the audience. But it's kind of nice if the guy goes before you is, yeah, give me six and a half or seven, then you can be eight or nine.

51:02 Drew You know what? That's all really up to you.

51:05 Adam I know.

51:06 Drew When you start thinking about what the guy did before you, you've already lost your vibe.

51:10 Adam All right. You're right. I say good day.

51:12 Caller Confidence, baby.

51:13 Adam You're right.

51:13 System Of A Down You better say good day to these guys.

51:14 Adam Good day, I say.

51:16 Caller Richard?

51:17 Caller Yes.

51:19 Adam What's up?

51:23 Caller Embarrassing. I'm into hentai, animated porn, and I wanted to know if that's because I was psychologically abused as a child or?

51:32 System Of A Down Were you psychologically abused?

51:33 Caller Yeah.

51:34 System Of A Down In what way?

51:36 Caller My mom would yell at me and stuff.

51:38 Caller She said I was stupid.

51:39 System Of A Down Yeah.

51:41 Adam Cry me a river, buddy.

51:42 System Of A Down I don't know what. Do you guys have a sense of what-

51:43 Adam I ain't cardboard growing up.

51:45 System Of A Down Creates that draw to the anime.

51:46 Drew I've got anime.

51:47 System Of A Down But what is that? What is that?

51:48 Adam What's up?

51:49 System Of A Down Somebody that's into that, what do you think? What kind of person is that?

51:51 Drew Are you talking about the porn or just the anime in general?

51:53 System Of A Down Anime porn, what he says is into anime porn more than regular porn. What is that person? Is that somebody afraid of people that they have just-

52:00 Drew I have animated porn.

52:02 System Of A Down I'm not saying, I'm just saying, do you have any sense? Do you know guys that are just into that?

52:06 Drew Oh, he's just into that?

52:07 System Of A Down Yeah. And have you noticed-

52:09 Drew You don't like regular porn?

52:11 System Of A Down Not really. Not really. John, John, quiet down.

52:14 Adam We should not hang.

52:15 System Of A Down Yeah, Adam, this guy's okay. Don't attack him.

52:18 Adam You're lucky you're in San Diego.

52:20 Drew What a look of disdain.

52:21 System Of A Down Wow. I'm disgusted. But here's the deal. Have you guys noticed anything about the person? What kind of guy is it that's into the anime? Any sense of that? I don't know what that is. I don't figure that one out.

52:33 Adam Oh, A. Scott, Monica Graham-Blazer.

52:35 Drew I don't know anybody that doesn't like anime.

52:36 Caller I've never really watched a cartoon-

52:38 System Of A Down Now, here's Richard saying his mom- Did you have a dad around?

52:42 Caller I don't remember.

52:43 System Of A Down Did you have a dad around?

52:45 Caller No, I didn't.

52:46 System Of A Down All right, so let's look for that in the future. No dad and abusive or sort of bigger-than-life mom that makes being intimate close to the real human.

52:54 Drew Have you guys ever seen Boogie Nights?

52:56 Caller Yeah.

52:57 Drew Have you seen Boogie Nights?

52:58 Caller No, I haven't.

52:59 System Of A Down Richard?

53:00 Caller No.

53:01 Drew Have you seen anything that's not animated?

53:05 Caller Not really.

53:06 System Of A Down No pornography.

53:08 Drew Boogie Nights isn't pornography, but...

53:09 Caller That was my point.

53:10 Drew Because the mom in Boogie Nights was like a total, you know, lunatic, yelling and stuff like that. And I was wondering if that's what his mom was like.

53:18 Adam I really hate to let Richard go. It's such a delight.

53:21 System Of A Down I thought, well, why don't you see if you can get him on to a career in auctioneering. I think that's...

53:24 Adam Yeah, I can see him moving livestock.

53:26 Caller It's so embarrassing.

53:27 Adam Yeah. All right. Hold on. Richard? Richard? Yeah? You're angry and that's not going to lead you to too many great places in life. You know what I'm saying there, brother? Yeah. All right. So stay in school. Don't get anyone pregnant. Try not to lash out against the man. Remember, you're mad at your mom, not society. Yeah. Keep that in mind. Easy on the weed there, brother.

53:52 Caller Don't go goth.

53:54 Adam Get a job. Fight to keep it. Don't go goth. I'm not goth. Yeah. Go gay before you go goth. All right. Let's talk to... I feel bad for these kids because their mom freak them out, their dads freak them out, then they get angry, then they go out into society, then they end up pissing off their boss, and their girlfriend, and their school teachers, and then they end up getting their ass kicked by society. Their beef is really with their parents, but they take it out on everyone else around them, and they're the ones who get punished. Because you just start firing these people, you don't want to... Here's the thing, everybody, let me give you a tip. People have to want to be around you. I don't care if it's an audience, I don't care if it's your boss, supervisor, or someone who just sits next to you in class. You want people to want to be around you. That's the way you make relationships, that's the way you get laid, that's the way you make money, that's the way you get asked for free, that's the way you do everything in life that's good, by other people liking you and wanting to be around you. When you repel people, you're in for a world of hurt.

54:59 System Of A Down So not being aggressive, not being hostile, not being angry, and not blaming everything outside of yourself for what happens to you in life. Taking responsibility for things, because if you're an employer particularly, you want the guy who's taken on the responsibility for everything.

55:13 Adam I can't tell you the amount, and here's how it works. It starts off in the ninth grade, which is, why did you fail biology, Billy? Teacher hates my guts. Yeah. So you got an A on every test, and the teacher just, he hates me. He hates you because you're an A-hole and a horrible student is why he hates you. Then that leads later on is, I don't know why I got fired, man. I do the work of five employees, and the guy fired me anyway. I don't know what this beef is like. Then you hear the same guy telling the same story over and over. I'm the hardest working guy. I show up early, I'm the last guy to leave. You know why? Because they're jealous. That's what bosses do. They find guys who do the work of five employees and fire them.

55:54 System Of A Down It can get more subtle too. I do everything around here, you do nothing.

55:58 Drew I always knew why I got fired for all the jobs like May Company, UPS, Pepsi.

56:04 Adam Wow. Why did you get fired?

56:07 Drew How many hours you got on this show?

56:10 Adam I could see you being a crappy employee.

56:12 Drew I was actually a really good employee. I'll just go through one of them.

56:16 Caller See, he's doing it. I was actually a good employee. I was a good employee.

56:19 Caller He's the best employee.

56:20 System Of A Down The best.

56:21 Caller I thought you were a boss fighter.

56:22 Drew Believe it or not, I worked very hard.

56:24 System Of A Down Oh, I believe that.

56:24 Adam I believe you burned some calories.

56:26 Drew I did, but I didn't take any crap.

56:28 Caller Oh, yeah.

56:30 Adam Here we go.

56:31 Drew Here's exactly what happened at May Company.

56:33 Adam Okay.

56:34 Caller Good Lord.

56:36 Drew I worked in the department that would like to take down couches, you know, manual labor.

56:40 Caller She worked in perfumes.

56:41 Adam No, they didn't have you at the estate lotter.

56:43 Drew Exactly.

56:44 Adam Yeah, you weren't working.

56:45 Drew I remember I wore a tie the first day and they're like, why are you wearing that? Take that off. You're going to work for a living.

56:49 Caller He wore a suit and sprayed people when they passed by.

56:52 Adam Which one were you working at, the one on the lower?

56:54 Drew The clearance center.

56:55 Adam Where? Is that out here?

56:56 Drew That no longer exists.

56:57 Adam Oh, okay.

56:58 System Of A Down It was a big warehouse.

56:59 Drew Yeah, it was up by Van Nuys and Roscoe or somewhere.

57:02 Adam Right. All right, so you're working there and what happened?

57:05 Drew I'm working there for about a year and everything was cool. The boss was great. And I don't know, I guess I came in like about an hour late one day and the boss was in a really bad mood.

57:16 System Of A Down You had the temerity to speak up about you being late to work?

57:19 Drew I had no problem with that.

57:19 System Of A Down How dare he?

57:20 Drew No, I had no problem with that. But you got to understand, I've been really working hard, picking up shifts for other people and doing all this. I was late for an hour. I apologized and I told him why. It was my sister's birthday that day. So I wanted to wait till she woke up so I could say happy birthday. Then I came to work. I called in.

57:37 Adam Oh, you called in?

57:38 System Of A Down Yeah.

57:38 Adam All right.

57:38 Drew And he just started yelling at me. And I was like, I got really upset.

57:44 System Of A Down You've never done anything to get out of that guy's skin before that?

57:47 Drew No. We had a great relationship. You know, like throughout the whole, whatever, year, year, year and two months that I worked there. He was just in a really bad mood that day. And he got upset at me, I got upset at him. I said some things I shouldn't have said. Right. And I basically told him, listen, my family is a lot more important to me than your job. So do what you got to do.

58:06 Caller And he fired me.

58:08 Drew He goes, he fired me and then he felt bad. And I was like, you know what? I'm out of here. I just left.

58:13 Adam And he didn't, he felt bad like he was going to rehire you or unfire you?

58:17 Drew Because I really do think he was in a bad mood, but I really didn't want to work there anymore anyway. So I was happy to be fired.

58:22 Adam Yeah. Well, that's what happens. I mean, it's like a relationship where you cheat so you can get out of the relationship, you don't want to break up, you just do something that gets you broken up with. Curious to know what went on at Pepsi and...

58:38 Drew We'll save it for the next time I come in, but Pepsi, UPS, where else do I get fired from?

58:43 Adam Yeah.

58:44 Caller Every job I've had.

58:45 System Of A Down All the bosses, they just had a bad day. I've never been fired in Madison.

58:47 Drew No, I mean, most of my bosses were really cool. I'm not saying that I didn't mess up every job.

58:53 Caller Shavo.

58:53 Caller But that one wasn't fired. Never been fired? I've had like five, six jobs and never been fired.

58:58 Drew Shavo always sleeps with the boss, so.

59:00 Caller Oh boy. I've worked at like a bank, being a teller, doing wire transfers. I've worked at flower delivery.

59:08 Drew Flower delivery?

59:09 Caller Yeah.

59:10 Drew And you're talking about my Estee Lauder job.

59:12 Caller I did fly delivery flowers for a while, Marks Garden, really good place.

59:15 Adam Yeah, I know.

59:16 Caller But I was doing Sherman Oaks or something.

59:18 Drew Actually, that was the last job you had before we got started.

59:20 Adam Whole Foods.

59:20 Caller Yeah, that's the last job. Whole Foods is good. I was a dairy clerk.

59:23 Adam Whole Foods, a lot of hot chicks.

59:25 Caller A lot of hot chicks show up. It was great.

59:28 Adam Yeah, a lot of milf around the Whole Foods because these rich ladies take care of themselves. You know, what you don't want to do, you don't want to go to the Luckys and like Van Nuys, and you don't want to go to the Johns, which used to be the Vons.

59:38 Caller Johns is bad.

59:39 Adam Whenever they got a market, were they too lazy to change the letter? So they just changed the first letter? You don't want to be going there.

59:45 Drew I think you just didn't want to spend the money to change it.

59:47 Adam Yeah, they're too cheap, too lazy. That's where you get like the 60 pound chub pack of the ground beef, the big fat Mexican chick, big fat ass down the stroller.

59:55 Drew But you can get Middle Eastern food at Johns.

59:57 Adam Oh, you can?

59:58 Drew Yeah. I believe it's Armenian-owned if I'm not mistaken.

1:00:01 Adam Oh, really?

1:00:01 System Of A Down How dare you, Adam?

1:00:02 Caller Yeah, it is Armenian-owned.

1:00:03 System Of A Down Oh, how dare you?

1:00:04 Caller Yeah, but I don't know who they are.

1:00:05 Drew You can get falafel there.

1:00:06 System Of A Down All right.

1:00:07 Caller And I did used to work at Mossy's Kebab at the Glyndale Galleria for like three weeks or so.

1:00:12 Drew I thought you worked at the hot dog place over there.

1:00:13 Caller No, I didn't work at the hot dog place.

1:00:15 Adam You didn't work at hot dog on a stick?

1:00:16 Drew Shavo was the guy with the lemonade? When they jump up and down?

1:00:20 Adam Yeah, the churn, the lemon churn. I applied for a job at the hot dog on a stick.

1:00:25 Drew Obviously, you kept the uniform.

1:00:27 Adam Sherman Hooks, Galleria.

1:00:28 System Of A Down No, you need to be a chick.

1:00:30 Adam You need to be a chick. Here's the thing, hot dog on a stick. They're so happy with themselves over there. Hot dog on a stick paid like seven bucks an hour when everyone else was paying like three bucks an hour because they had these crazy stewardess outfits from the 60s.

1:00:47 Caller They were tall too. They were tall.

1:00:49 Adam And they were holding that churn, man. It was like, you know what I mean?

1:00:52 Drew Yeah, I know.

1:00:53 Caller I watched because I was at my skipper around the corner watching the girls.

1:00:57 Adam Everything's like a, it's one big penis palace over there. The hand of the hot dog on a stick. That's a penis.

1:01:02 System Of A Down She's on a stick.

1:01:03 Adam She's on a stick. Then she's churning them.

1:01:06 Drew They have that penis on a stick over there too.

1:01:08 Adam Yeah.

1:01:08 System Of A Down Well, they have that. That's right.

1:01:09 Drew They actually have penis on a stick, but only in the West Hollywood Blitz.

1:01:12 Adam I was really thinking of suing the place for not hiring.

1:01:15 System Of A Down Yeah.

1:01:16 Adam For gender discrimination.

1:01:18 Drew Because you do look sexy in that stewardess outfit.

1:01:20 Adam I put a look on that hat.

1:01:22 Drew Hair popping out all over the place.

1:01:25 Caller James?

1:01:26 Caller Yeah.

1:01:26 Adam 25?

1:01:28 Caller Yeah.

1:01:28 Adam What's up?

1:01:30 Caller I had an STD screening done at like a clinic, and they said everything came back fine except I tested positive for herpes.

1:01:39 Adam Now, that's not everything coming back fine.

1:01:42 System Of A Down Wait, you mean you had a blood test for herpes?

1:01:45 Drew I got some good news and bad news. You're fine, except you got herpes.

1:01:48 System Of A Down Hold on. You had a blood test for herpes?

1:01:50 Caller Well, yeah, I had a blood test done. They said the blood screen came back, but I tested positive.

1:01:55 System Of A Down Those blood tests for herpes are fairly worthless. Unless there's a high suspicion of an outbreak.

1:02:02 Caller So they got to see a herpe.

1:02:03 System Of A Down They got to see evidence or at least have a history of highly suspicious because that is a very poorly predictive test. So I would not, if you've never had herpes on your genitals, I wouldn't worry that this is indicative of that.

1:02:14 Adam What about on his mug?

1:02:16 System Of A Down On his mouth. It could be.

1:02:19 Caller I went to my doctor. He said, no, you have to have an outbreak.

1:02:23 System Of A Down That's right. And the only way to really definitively diagnose this is during an outbreak to actually culture the virus.

1:02:30 Drew Are you ribbed for her pleasure?

1:02:31 System Of A Down So there you go.

1:02:32 Adam Hey, James.

1:02:33 System Of A Down Don't worry about it. All right.

1:02:34 Adam Don't worry.

1:02:35 Caller It's been two years.

1:02:37 Adam You're fine.

1:02:39 Caller Okay, cool.

1:02:40 System Of A Down I agree with your doctor.

1:02:41 Adam All right. See if you can get out of Riverside, would you?

1:02:43 Drew Yeah, you're fine except for the AIDS, syphilis and herpes that you have. Otherwise, you're all clear.

1:02:50 Adam All right. Get out of Riverside. What are you doing in Riverside?

1:02:52 Caller What do I do in Riverside? I work hard, man.

1:02:57 System Of A Down Oh, that's a good answer.

1:02:58 Adam Diesel repair. What do you do?

1:03:01 Caller I'm an equipment operator.

1:03:03 Adam Okay. I wish working with that.

1:03:05 System Of A Down What kind of equipment?

1:03:05 Adam What kind of equipment?

1:03:07 Caller Heavy equipment.

1:03:08 Adam Heavy equipment. By the way, what are you, some sort of-

1:03:10 Caller How big are you?

1:03:11 Adam James Bond? You drive a goddamn back loader in Riverside. What would you do? Some high government security clearance or something?

1:03:19 System Of A Down You can't tell us what you actually do?

1:03:21 Adam Yeah. Just tell us what you do. You drive a forklift, right? Yeah. All right.

1:03:26 System Of A Down There you go.

1:03:27 Adam Everyone's a jack-off on this show. I'm so tired. Everyone's calling this show. I don't have pain in the ass.

1:03:32 System Of A Down You have to be like, Karnak. You have to be like...

1:03:34 Caller Karnak.

1:03:36 Drew Heavy equipment. What kind of equipment?

1:03:38 Caller Heavy.

1:03:38 Caller What do you do? Work hard.

1:03:41 Caller Yeah.

1:03:42 Caller Where? In the Southern California area?

1:03:44 Adam Region.

1:03:46 System Of A Down In a building.

1:03:47 Adam Yeah. Everyone acts like they're James Bond and calls this show.

1:03:50 System Of A Down I know.

1:03:51 Adam Meanwhile, this guy's drinking generic beer. He's missing a tooth. He's sucking up. He's just sucking up diesel fuel for a living.

1:03:59 Drew He thinks he has herpes.

1:04:00 Adam He's driving a skip loader. He's got herpes. You know what I mean?

1:04:04 System Of A Down I know.

1:04:05 Drew You know, what's funny is they'll tell you about how they want to do ATM and all that other stuff.

1:04:09 Adam Yeah.

1:04:10 Drew But you know, they can't get into the fact that they drive a forklift.

1:04:14 System Of A Down Right.

1:04:14 Adam No problem announcing from the highest mountaintop that you got the herpes.

1:04:18 Drew But you can't get personal with the job, though.

1:04:20 Adam Yeah. Don't start talking about that case. You're using. Yeah. All right. We got a question for System Of A Down, I believe. Darren? Yes. Yes. You're 25.

1:04:31 Drew Is that our guitarist?

1:04:32 Caller Darren, what's up, man?

1:04:34 Adam Is this Darren?

1:04:38 I know a little. I don't know too much Armenian.

1:04:42 Caller Adam Corolla, let's talk about him.

1:04:46 Adam Yeah.

1:04:46 Oh my gosh. I can't even understand. Yeah.

1:04:50 Adam Well, are you Armenian, Darren?

1:04:51 Yeah, I'm 100% Armenian. And I work in the music industry.

1:04:57 Caller What do you do in the music industry?

1:04:59 I'm a management. I work for the past five years. I worked for one of the best management companies As a, you know, assistant to the president of the company.

1:05:07 Caller What's one of the best management companies?

1:05:09 My estate on the air?

1:05:11 Caller Yeah, go ahead.

1:05:12 It's Freeze Management?

1:05:14 Caller The best.

1:05:15 Adam Who are the best?

1:05:17 Caller Did you have a question?

1:05:19 Caller They're the best.

1:05:20 Adam Do you have a question about the foundation?

1:05:22 Basically, I heard a rumor that basically you guys had a found, you know, every year you guys donated a certain percentage of your profits to the Armenian Foundation. I thought that was pretty cool. I didn't know if that was true or not.

1:05:34 Caller It's true.

1:05:36 It's true.

1:05:36 Caller Yeah, it's true.

1:05:38 Adam And where's the money go?

1:05:40 Caller Goes to lobby.

1:05:40 Caller You see the car I have on the side?

1:05:45 Caller It goes to lobbying to Congress, I guess, a bill to recognize the genocide.

1:05:51 Adam Aren't they making some progress with that? We have heard some stuff about that.

1:05:55 Caller Turkey is trying to join the EU, and there's a couple of countries like France and Italy who are saying no until you recognize that you committed a genocide.

1:06:06 Adam Is there monetary compensation? And what does Turkey have anyway, by the way?

1:06:12 Caller If they said yes, it would have to be. So, I mean, that's not what we're asking for, we're just asking for recognition.

1:06:17 System Of A Down Are they saying that it didn't happen or that it was justified act of war?

1:06:22 Drew They're saying that it was a war.

1:06:23 Caller War, yeah. But there was no war, we didn't really even have an army at the time, it was just women and children getting raped and killed.

1:06:28 Drew It was really only a thousand to two thousand soldiers that committed the genocide. It wasn't like, let's say, in the Holocaust when it was a whole nation, basically an armed force that helped to commit the Holocaust. This is something that took place village to village, they just went village to village and massacred them.

1:06:46 Adam What is that? Does turkey have anything, by the way? Or you just sort of...

1:06:50 Drew That's pretty good tourism.

1:06:52 System Of A Down It's simple.

1:06:52 Adam Yeah. And can you get any money out of them?

1:06:54 Drew They make a hell of a bath towel.

1:06:57 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:06:58 Caller Yeah, some good robes come out of this.

1:06:59 Drew Really good robes.

1:07:00 Adam Yeah, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, trying to get money out of them is like...

1:07:03 Caller Brugs.

1:07:03 Adam Trying to get my sister to pay me back for the down payment I put in her house.

1:07:07 Drew It's not about the money.

1:07:08 Adam It's just about the acknowledgement.

1:07:10 Drew Yeah. If I did something as terrible as that, I would at least want...

1:07:15 System Of A Down Yeah.

1:07:15 Drew You know, some kind of resolution to it.

1:07:17 System Of A Down Yeah.

1:07:18 Adam And I don't know why they cling to that so much. Maybe they don't want to admit... They don't want to look in the mirror.

1:07:24 Drew Well, when you've lied for 80 years, 90 years...

1:07:26 Adam You got to kind of stay with it. Yeah.

1:07:29 Caller They'll also be making other countries... You know, they helped them out. So Germany would have to claim the right that they did that.

1:07:42 Adam Well, you know, my plan is... I want to bomb Germany again.

1:07:45 Caller You want to bomb Germany?

1:07:46 Adam And maybe we can hit Turkey while we're at it. Because my feeling is that whatever you guys got in World War II wasn't enough. Not here.

1:07:53 Drew That wouldn't bring back the people that we lost.

1:07:56 Adam I know.

1:07:56 Drew That would only cause more pain. That would make me feel better. You know, one thing that you have to realize is there's good people in every race and religion, and a lot of the Turkish people helped Armenians during that time period to escape Armenia and add great risk to themselves. And you can't just discount that. You know, there's a lot of good people in that country.

1:08:12 Caller It's not the people that we're having anything against.

1:08:13 Adam Well, I'm giving them a heads up before the bombing then. That's my feeling.

1:08:16 Drew He's doing a bombing raid anyway.

1:08:17 Adam Well, I'm just, I'm hitting Germany, and if I got enough fuel, I don't even know how close to Turkey to Germany.

1:08:22 Drew Well, not too bad.

1:08:22 Adam I'll just keep going. Just keep going. Here's what I'll tell my pilots. I want to tell them, look, if you got enough fuel and targets of opportunity, you know what I mean? Just keep flying. You see something going on in Turkey, do a little strafing before you head back to the base. That's all. Head back to Ramstein. That's a good Air Force base name, isn't it? Ramstein. Sounds like something from BattleBots. Yeah, who's... Oh, Vlady Impaler's up against Ramstein. That's going to be awesome. Heavyweight battle. Alright, alright, so that's Darren. Oh, it's break time? Alright, let's take a break. We're going to come back. We're going to...

1:08:56 System Of A Down Listen to which one was done?

1:08:57 Caller No, we're going to...

1:08:58 System Of A Down What do we break after we get back?

1:08:59 Adam We're going to take a break, come back, we hear a song from System Of A Down after this.

1:09:04 Caller Hello, is this your radio?

1:09:06 Caller Love Line will be right back.

1:09:09 Caller You can see model actress Diora Baird in this summer's hottest comedy Wedding Crashers, or you can see all of Diora Baird inside the August Playboy on Newsstands now.

1:09:19 Caller Now back to Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew on Live 105.

1:09:39 Caller Hey everybody, it's Loveline.

1:09:40 Adam I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, System Of A Down in studio tonight.

1:09:44 Caller Hello.

1:09:45 Adam And Shavo, both here.

1:09:47 Caller What's up for the open face?

1:09:49 Adam We're going to- Lots of questions for the band. We're going to- Let's take one question for the band, then we'll hear a song.

1:09:56 Perfect.

1:09:57 Adam Christina?

1:09:58 Yeah.

1:09:59 Adam You're 17?

1:10:00 Caller Yeah.

1:10:00 Adam Oh, North Hollywood.

1:10:02 Drew Nice.

1:10:03 Adam You going to North Hollywood High? Open.

1:10:05 Caller No, I just graduated from Bravo, actually.

1:10:08 Drew Bravo.

1:10:09 Adam Zipper. Bravo. Sounds like a bullfighting school.

1:10:13 System Of A Down Police station.

1:10:14 Caller Yeah. Bravo.

1:10:15 Adam Yeah, my brother went to Alpha. My sister went to Charlie. I went to Bravo. And then I had a cousin went to Tango and Zulu.

1:10:21 Drew I know what it is.

1:10:22 Caller I went to the Travel Tunnel.

1:10:23 Drew It's the Steven Seagal School of Acting.

1:10:25 Adam Yeah. What's Bravo?

1:10:27 Caller It's the Medical Magnet High School in LA.

1:10:30 Caller Oh, nice.

1:10:31 Adam That either means you're really smart or really stupid.

1:10:33 Caller I can't figure it out.

1:10:36 Caller How could I be really stupid if I go to a Medical Magnet High School?

1:10:39 Adam I don't know. Magnet is one of those school things that either means you're a genius or borderline retard. I gotta figure it out. But anyway, all right, you graduated from- the point is you didn't go to North Hollywood High. That was a smart move.

1:10:52 System Of A Down What is that new school they're building in North Hollywood?

1:10:54 Caller Um, I wouldn't know.

1:10:57 Drew Elementary school.

1:10:59 Adam They're building something over by where all the studios, where all the rehearsal studios and recording studios are.

1:11:05 Drew I thought they were building something on Laurel.

1:11:07 System Of A Down On like violin.

1:11:08 Caller Violin in like, the first side area.

1:11:09 Adam Yeah, well it's about time because North Hollywood Highs was built in the 30s and all the schools around there that I went to were all just built in the 30s.

1:11:17 Drew Oh that's right, I know what you're talking about. It's like three stories high.

1:11:20 System Of A Down Big tall one, yeah.

1:11:21 Drew Right by the NoHo Art District.

1:11:22 System Of A Down You're right.

1:11:23 Caller Yeah.

1:11:24 Drew By the In-N-Out.

1:11:25 System Of A Down Magnolia area.

1:11:26 Adam Yeah, I'm telling you, I get freaked out whenever, as tragic as Columbine was, I was like, oh my God, look at that library. And then like, then the gunman got in the elevator, and blah, blah, blah.

1:11:37 System Of A Down Elevator, elevator.

1:11:39 Adam What, are they at a Broadway? Like, my schools are always just dumps, they're just crappy places, they were institutions, you know, they looked like prisons from the 30s. You know, whenever you see these things, you see these high schools and stuff? Yeah, they had Astro Turf, they have football stadiums and stuff like that. Oh, I gotta talk about Durex, yeah, go ahead. Durex. I'm just saying there's a lot of nice schools around this country, none of them in the Valley. No. Especially the East Valley. Yeah, all right, so go ahead, Christina.

1:12:10 Caller Well, yeah, I'm also Armenian, and like, I know that you guys know how the culture is with the whole, like, the life with Armenian girl that she's supposed to marry an Armenian guy and live happily ever after and whatever.

1:12:23 Adam Yeah, is that, are they strict that way?

1:12:26 Caller Not all of them.

1:12:27 Drew You gotta marry who you're in love with.

1:12:29 Adam Who's heavier, though? Like the Chinese, like there's some Asian culture. Koreans are pretty into that.

1:12:35 Drew I think every culture is into that, especially when they first patriot to a new country. So you're always into that.

1:12:41 Adam Italians were that way about 80 years ago, Irish that way 100 years ago.

1:12:44 Drew Yeah, but now nobody cares because after six generations or three generations or sometimes two, you know you're gonna have different cultures entering into the mix.

1:12:53 Adam Eh, the pool's so polluted, who cares?

1:12:54 Drew I think especially with Armenians, though, because they're so few of us, it means a little bit more to us.

1:12:59 Adam Really? You've been to Glendale? Yeah, I was gonna say.

1:13:01 Drew Listen, there might be a lot here, but keep in mind, there's more Armenians in Southern California than there are in Armenia. No, basically a dying race.

1:13:09 Adam I'm moving to Armenia so I can get a break from Armenians.

1:13:15 Caller Stop going to Carousell.

1:13:17 Caller Or Zankou, yeah, please.

1:13:18 System Of A Down Every restaurant you go to is Armenian.

1:13:19 Caller Not a good representation.

1:13:20 Caller Zankou today, by the way.

1:13:22 System Of A Down It's like a Zankou guy killed himself, or killed his peck.

1:13:25 Caller Yeah, that's a sad story.

1:13:28 Caller But he did some crazy stuff.

1:13:31 Drew I think they just got Jack today for like 15 grand.

1:13:33 Caller Really?

1:13:34 Caller Yeah, it was Adam.

1:13:35 Adam Wait, hold on.

1:13:36 System Of A Down There's an argument over the shawarma.

1:13:38 Drew I gotta say, you know, mixed plate? Give me 15 grand.

1:13:41 Adam I gotta tell you an absolutely true story, which is I did go to Carousel Saturday night. I bought a ton of Armenian food. I ate, I've been eating that every single night. And when I showed up at work today, buddy Daniel had bought me zanku. He's like, hey buddy, bought you lunch. Oh, great, what do we got here? Zanku, fantastic. Now I've eaten 70 tons of this stuff.

1:14:01 Drew Garlic, garlic.

1:14:02 Caller All right, let me.

1:14:03 Drew You'll never get attacked by a vampire, I'll tell you that much.

1:14:05 Adam Let me, oh, that garlic paste on that chicken.

1:14:08 Caller It's great.

1:14:08 Adam Awesome.

1:14:09 Caller That's what I want right now.

1:14:10 Adam Let me, I'm kind of craving it too.

1:14:11 Caller Where are we gonna go?

1:14:12 Adam All I gotta do is fart.

1:14:13 Caller It's all gonna be clean. You just gotta fart.

1:14:15 Drew What's your leftovers?

1:14:17 Adam Let me say, you guys gotta start staying open until the wee hours of the morning. It needs to be some sort of Armenian drive-thru, so we get a nice shwarmen falafel.

1:14:25 Drew You know what, like you were telling me about, if you go to Armenia, the restaurants are still open. It's like five in the morning.

1:14:30 Adam Well, like I said, I'm moving so I can get a break. One lucky person and I will win a Durex Party Pack. The Party Pack includes CDs, and they're good CDs, but they don't tell us who the bands are, but we know who the bands are, right?

1:14:41 System Of A Down You heard them, we live them, yeah.

1:14:42 Adam Yeah, they're good bands.

1:14:44 Drew They'll throw one of ours in there, here, throw that in there.

1:14:45 Adam There, you get one too from System Of A Down. You'll also get some money and some Durex condoms and a whole poker set, and I'm gonna pick the call at the end of the night, or Drew, you remind me, we'll pick the call at the end of the night, we'll give you all this. It's gotta be 18 years or older, best call, or the one at the end of the night, because I forget the whole night. And it's brought to you by Durex, there's sex, and then there's Durex. All right, let's hear a song from System Of Down. Yes?

1:15:09 Caller Let's do that.

1:15:09 Drew Did she have a question?

1:15:10 Adam She did.

1:15:11 Caller Yeah, it was our...

1:15:11 Adam I've put on hold too many times. She had a question about marrying your own and marrying from within.

1:15:17 Caller It's also about keeping the culture going and the name, but it's really dying right now. It's not really...

1:15:23 Drew Listen, ultimately...

1:15:26 Adam Why is it dying? Why?

1:15:27 Drew What's going on? Because we... Partly because of the genocide, Armenians kind of got thrown around the whole world.

1:15:35 Adam We got scattered.

1:15:36 Drew Yeah, we got scattered, and then what was left was in Armenia, which is what is now known as Armenia, and then that was taken over by Russia.

1:15:45 Caller We are a strong nation, though, of people.

1:15:47 Adam Are they not... Now there's Armenia, right? Of course, yeah. They're procreating, right?

1:15:52 Drew They are, but...

1:15:53 Caller No, we're always going to be around. Don't get him wrong. No, I don't know. I think we'll always be around, just like we've been through many deaths and wars, and genocides. We're still around. We'll always be around. We've always been a strong nation, so I disagree with what he's saying.

1:16:04 System Of A Down Is there a separate ethnicity to Armenians? Really? I mean, or is it similar ethnically to other ethnicities in that area?

1:16:13 Drew We actually have very little to do with the Middle East.

1:16:17 Caller We're more like Italian, Greek kind of vibe.

1:16:20 System Of A Down Right. Is it an ethnicity or a culture?

1:16:22 Caller Mediterranean culture.

1:16:24 System Of A Down I think it's a culture more than an ethnicity, isn't it?

1:16:26 Drew Yeah.

1:16:26 Caller It's both because we have our own alphabet. We have our own everything.

1:16:31 Drew At one time we were blonde haired and blue-eyed.

1:16:33 System Of A Down Really?

1:16:33 Adam Yeah.

1:16:34 Drew Yes.

1:16:34 Adam What happiness to let your roots grow on?

1:16:36 Caller No, the Middle Eastern countries came and took our ladies.

1:16:39 Adam Oh, you're not talking about you guys.

1:16:41 Caller All right.

1:16:41 Drew All right.

1:16:43 Adam I'm going there. I'm going to go pollute the pool over there.

1:16:46 Caller It's a very beautiful country.

1:16:47 Drew I want to talk about how people look like you over there.

1:16:49 Caller Yeah, they do. You look very Armenian.

1:16:50 Drew You could be Armenian.

1:16:52 Adam Maybe I am. Who the hell knows? My dad. You know that guy. You know what I mean? All right. All right. Let's maybe maybe that's why. Maybe that's why I always get into it with the guy behind the counter. Maybe he sees too much of himself in me.

1:17:06 System Of A Down He expects you should know that they don't do 50-50 in Armenia.

1:17:10 Caller No, that's not.

1:17:11 System Of A Down No, it's not Armenian.

1:17:11 Drew That doesn't sound very Armenian. We do. We're pretty easy going with that kind of stuff.

1:17:16 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:17:16 Drew How do you pay for it? You get it how you want it.

1:17:18 Caller You can't pay more.

1:17:19 Adam Oh, you guys are late.

1:17:20 Caller You can't overpay.

1:17:21 Adam You can't pay 10 bucks for four bucks worth of falafel.

1:17:24 Caller No way.

1:17:24 Adam That is a slap in the face.

1:17:26 Caller All right.

1:17:27 Adam Let's hear something from System Of A Down. Actually, no, we're hearing a song, but we change it up a little bit. Yeah, you're violent. You're ready there, Engineer Chris? This is called Violent Pornography. Yeah, System Of A Down. I'll tell you something about System Of A Down.

1:21:13 Drew Choking chicks inside of me. Those are the words they bleeped out.

1:21:16 Adam Never got them in, but no other band sounds like System Of A Down.

1:21:19 System Of A Down Right, it's true.

1:21:21 Adam Which is good.

1:21:21 System Of A Down Yeah.

1:21:22 Adam Yeah. Thanks. And I, you know, we saw the band years ago.

1:21:29 Drew You have not bothered to come to one show.

1:21:31 Adam Seven, eight years ago.

1:21:32 Drew Since then, have you? Since the Pasadena Show.

1:21:35 Adam Well, here's the thing. What's the thing?

1:21:38 System Of A Down We never get out.

1:21:38 Caller What's the thing? We never get out.

1:21:40 Adam Here's the thing. We can't go to shows. It seems like most shows are.

1:21:43 Drew It's Friday night. Next Friday. Alright. You have no excuse.

1:21:46 Caller Not this Friday, next Friday.

1:21:48 Drew Yeah, not this Friday, next Friday.

1:21:49 Caller Next Friday.

1:21:49 Adam Yeah. Now I do have an excuse, actually. I gotta go and start this comedy show.

1:21:53 Caller We're all playing Thursday night.

1:21:54 Adam TV show. And I gotta come here. Where are you gonna be?

1:21:56 Caller Are you gonna be at Long Beach? Long Beach.

1:21:58 Drew You won't make it.

1:21:59 Adam No.

1:21:59 Caller We don't want you to come. We don't want you to come.

1:22:01 System Of A Down It's all good.

1:22:01 Adam Oh yeah?

1:22:02 System Of A Down We're just kidding.

1:22:02 Adam Oh yeah? What if I showed up then, smart ass?

1:22:04 Caller Well hold on, hold on, hold on. We'll see what a smart ass.

1:22:06 Drew We're playing Long Beach Saturday.

1:22:08 Adam Saturday?

1:22:08 Caller No, we're playing San Diego Saturday.

1:22:10 Drew Oh sorry, San Diego. There you go.

1:22:12 Adam Oh, I'm a fan but not that big a fan. Chippin for gas.

1:22:16 Drew Give me like eight more years before you see. Okay, how about Las Vegas? Will you come see us there?

1:22:19 Adam Yes. That'd be fun. We're not playing there.

1:22:21 Drew Are you kidding me, Adam? No, we are. We're playing there in like two months.

1:22:25 Adam I want to kiss the band's ass for a second here because...

1:22:28 Caller Let me get my pants off.

1:22:29 Adam Please. We did, we did believe...

1:22:32 Drew September, October.

1:22:33 System Of A Down Sorry.

1:22:34 Adam We did see the band many years ago. Yes.

1:22:38 System Of A Down I don't think I was there.

1:22:39 Adam Yes, you were.

1:22:39 Caller You were signing.

1:22:40 Adam It was in Pasadena.

1:22:41 Drew You saw, said...

1:22:42 Adam You were signing.

1:22:43 Drew Acoustic Christmas.

1:22:44 Adam We saw Acoustic Christmas.

1:22:44 System Of A Down You were the rock star then.

1:22:46 Adam We saw them at the K-Rock calendar signing in Pasadena.

1:22:50 System Of A Down Yes, oh my God. I forgot about that when the Mount of Police showed up. Well, you never actually saw us. We were on the other side.

1:22:55 Drew You were signing.

1:22:56 Adam Yeah.

1:22:57 System Of A Down We heard you.

1:22:57 Adam We heard you.

1:22:58 Drew We saw you at Weenie Roast.

1:23:00 Adam We saw you at Weenie Roast too. Now, the thing about it is...

1:23:04 Drew So, we have to play your events basically for you to come out.

1:23:06 System Of A Down The events that we have to go to.

1:23:07 Drew Things that you have to be there?

1:23:09 Adam I see how it works. Drew's kids are having a birthday, by the way.

1:23:13 Caller We'll play the birthday party.

1:23:15 Adam That would be awesome. System Of A Down comes to play. It's the kids 12th birthday.

1:23:17 Drew 12 pack of beer and 100 bucks for there.

1:23:21 Adam Anyway, I was heaping praise on the band for evolving so much over the years. Because the band, back when we first were exposed to System Of A Down, was just a hard driving rock band, which we still are.

1:23:36 System Of A Down What the hell is that? Oh, for god sakes.

1:23:39 Adam What are you talking about, Drew?

1:23:40 System Of A Down What are these kids listening to today?

1:23:41 Adam How dare you?

1:23:43 Drew He was still wearing his Winger t-shirt back then, I think.

1:23:46 Adam But the band has evolved now. There's layers to the band. You know what I mean? They used to be like Hummus, and now they're like Baklava. You see, all the flaky layers. Before, it was just one big good tasting mush, but now there's the flaky layer.

1:24:03 Caller Oh, you guys are seriously making me hungry. I am hungry right now.

1:24:06 Adam Shavo stoned off his ass. I'm just hungry, man. He's starting to eat the end of his beard. All right, let's take a break. Again? Let's take a break. Yeah, let the band go by the vending machine. Let's get them some Raisinets. All right, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Keep things up with new Durex warming condoms. There's sex, and then there's Durex.

1:25:00 Caller Well, Shavo is a shortened version of Shavarsh.

1:25:04 Caller Shavarsh?

1:25:05 System Of A Down Much shorter.

1:25:06 Caller And that comes from, it's a name of a battlefield, I guess, that Armenia fought of back in the day.

1:25:12 System Of A Down Shavarsh is a good name. It's a good reference to the genocides.

1:25:14 Caller No, not the genocides. No, this is pre-days. Yeah, this is pre-even us being Christian.

1:25:20 Adam Shavo is a solid name.

1:25:21 System Of A Down Roman times?

1:25:23 Caller Pre-380.

1:25:25 Drew We weren't Roman. This is, yeah, I mean, pagan, I guess.

1:25:30 Caller Yeah, it was more like worshipping objects.

1:25:33 Drew Actually, basically fire, nature. If you go to most of those artifacts, Shavo, what do we do now?

1:25:41 Adam Shavo Goulet, that's a good name right there.

1:25:43 Caller So what do we do now?

1:25:45 Drew Shavo Goulet, Odadjian.

1:25:47 Adam Joseph?

1:25:48 Caller Yeah?

1:25:49 Adam You're 22? What's up?

1:25:55 Caller Adam, I sort of got, I'm the biggest, I don't think I quote anyone more than you. I'm not sure that's good or bad. Dr. Drew, my chick is in love with you. That's actually, well, that's not the issue.

1:26:06 Adam She can't get the score of the dudes.

1:26:08 Caller That's the issue. His chick is in love with you.

1:26:10 Adam So what's going on? What's your question?

1:26:13 Caller I moved out to LA out here about, probably about six months ago. And my chick, me and her hooked up, I guess, about two months ago.

1:26:22 System Of A Down I thought she loves you being referred to that way.

1:26:24 Caller My biznatch.

1:26:25 Adam Yeah.

1:26:25 Caller My yatch, no.

1:26:26 Caller My hoe.

1:26:27 System Of A Down Right?

1:26:28 Caller Well, that's what I call her when we're off the phone. So anyway, I moved out here and she kind of knew what the deal was. So we're going to try to do the long distance thing. The thing that's kind of an issue now is I used to go to private school, you know, religion, but you know, it's a big part of her life still.

1:26:46 System Of A Down Where does she live?

1:26:47 Caller Louisiana.

1:26:48 System Of A Down And what's the religion that you guys were into or she is into? Christian.

1:26:54 Adam What are you doing out here? Why do you have to do it here? You know what I mean? That's that's my thing. Definitely when it moves out to LA, you can't do whatever you're doing, wherever you were. You got to come out here and get in front of me.

1:27:05 System Of A Down Could you stop at Phoenix?

1:27:06 Caller Stop at Lake Tahoe.

1:27:07 Adam Whatever you're planning on doing here.

1:27:09 Caller Albuquerque.

1:27:10 Adam What are you doing here that you need to do here that you couldn't do in Louisiana?

1:27:14 Caller Improvisational theater, Adam. I just got into the ground.

1:27:17 Adam Oh, really? You're telling me Louisiana doesn't have a strong improvisational theater scene?

1:27:24 Caller Shockingly, no. All right. There's about, I could fit the culture in it. All right.

1:27:30 Adam You didn't just get into the groundlings. You just got into the groundlings school. Well, yeah.

1:27:35 Caller I mean, actually, I looked at it.

1:27:36 Adam There's a marginal difference. Okay.

1:27:39 Caller I mean, I wouldn't say I wasn't a groundling per se. I got into the groundlings.

1:27:42 System Of A Down I just joined the groundlings. Not to imply that I joined the groundlings.

1:27:46 Adam Yeah. No, you coughed up 489 bucks and you're taking a class.

1:27:51 Caller 425, 425.

1:27:52 Adam All right.

1:27:52 Caller Well, no, I mean, I was saying I got, well.

1:27:55 Adam Okay, here's all I got to say. Here's all I want. When people come in to this state, here's all I want. I want them to get a brochure that says, in this state, you're allowed to turn right at a red signal when there's no traffic coming. Because you don't know that when you're in Louisiana and I get behind you and there's no traffic coming and you're just sitting there and you ain't going. Because you got 10 years of driving in a place where it was illegal and you ain't used to doing it and no one tells you. All we tell you to do is click it or tick it. That's our only message. We don't tell you to turn right on a goddamn red because you can. We're just interested in telling you to slow down. So not only did you come here, drive, first off, you probably drove a mule or a tractor before you came here. Then you don't know it's legal and then you get here and we're telling you to slow down.

1:28:47 Caller Right.

1:28:48 Adam Any reason in LA to explain people to slow down?

1:28:51 Caller No.

1:28:52 Adam That's all we do. We're to crawl.

1:28:56 Drew At one point, people are going to figure out to get out of the left lane of the freeway when you're going 55 miles per hour.

1:29:00 Caller Oh, that's a whole other thing.

1:29:03 Drew I don't care if you lived here for two weeks. Get the hell out of that lane.

1:29:08 Adam I know. I know. And their thing is...

1:29:10 Drew Get out of any lane, actually, on the freeway except for the first one all the way to the right. 555 there.

1:29:15 Adam Yeah, their thing is like, Hey, Mr. High Beams at three in the morning and no traffic. I'm going 56 miles an hour.

1:29:22 Caller I have just as much right.

1:29:24 Adam You're just riding. You're just riding. Just like it's NASCAR. It's like you're drafting them for a couple off ramps, shooting them the high beams. Like, huh, not going anywhere. And then you try to go around, but someone's coming up. John's coming up in the Viper. You're coming up, he T-bones you.

1:29:41 System Of A Down You know, the guy, we haven't talked about this, another guy I hate is when you're going, you know, you're going, you know, reasonable speed and the fast thing, and a guy comes up 100 miles an hour and you go, all right, I'll speed up too and get out of the way, but I'll speed out of the way by speeding up. Right. No, no, no, he won't have that. He's going to stay on your butt.

1:29:55 Adam I don't mind that guy. I don't mind the guy who wants to race.

1:29:57 Drew No, I got to be honest with you. You got to get out of the lane.

1:30:00 Adam You get out of the lane. Get out of the lane.

1:30:01 Drew You got to get out of the lane.

1:30:02 Caller Drew, we talked about this a thousand times.

1:30:04 System Of A Down No, no, I get out of the lane if you're not going to get out of the way, but if you're going to go a hundred, okay, that's out of my way. You know what I'm saying?

1:30:11 Drew When you see a speeding bullet coming behind you, you all stand in the path.

1:30:15 System Of A Down No, but if you made a mistake and the guy, you didn't see him coming, you didn't realize you were going slow, I just, poom, take off.

1:30:21 Drew Right.

1:30:22 Adam Drew.

1:30:23 System Of A Down I don't mind that guy.

1:30:24 Drew You're still traveling at a rate that's slower than what he wants to travel, don't you think?

1:30:29 System Of A Down Not if you're not, that's my point.

1:30:31 Adam What is your point?

1:30:32 Drew If you're not, he wouldn't be on your ass.

1:30:34 Adam Yeah, why is he on your ass?

1:30:35 System Of A Down Because that's my point, that's the guy that's just because he needs to be in the shop.

1:30:40 Caller Is anyone else bored listening to this?

1:30:41 Drew I'm sorry, I have to bitch about it because it really angers me when someone's in the left lane.

1:30:46 System Of A Down No, I agree with you on all that.

1:30:47 Drew You know, they're driving 70 miles per hour and the speed limit is 65 and they think they're doing dirt enough.

1:30:51 Caller They're going way too fast.

1:30:53 Adam Yes, and so I can't believe, we've talked about this a thousand times.

1:30:56 System Of A Down No, I agree with you guys, I'm just saying there's another version as I hadn't thought of in a long time.

1:31:00 Drew Just get out of the guy's way.

1:31:01 Adam If the guy's doing 300 miles an hour, you've got to get out of his way. If he's going faster than you, I don't care if you're going the speed of light. If he's going one mile an hour faster, you've got to get out of the way. That's how it works.

1:31:13 Drew You can always hop back into that lane after they pass.

1:31:15 System Of A Down I agree with that.

1:31:16 Caller All right, Joseph, common courtesy.

1:31:18 Adam Your girlfriend's calling from Los Angeles, your girlfriend's in Louisiana.

1:31:23 System Of A Down That's already-

1:31:24 Adam She's religious. You're a comedic genius. It's never going to work out.

1:31:27 System Of A Down The distance is going to be a problem. You're going to stay out here. Just let it die a natural death.

1:31:32 Caller I've been breaking people up left and right tonight.

1:31:34 System Of A Down We're having different values and different beliefs to opera.

1:31:38 Drew As it is, you're six months away from Scientology and homosexuality. You might as well just end it.

1:31:43 Adam Six months? Four months? Give me a break. Joseph?

1:31:47 Caller That's pretty tempting. The thing is, if I were to move back, it seems like it would still be an issue.

1:31:53 System Of A Down That's right.

1:31:55 Adam You're 22.

1:31:56 System Of A Down That's what's supposed to happen.

1:31:57 Adam It slipped.

1:31:58 Caller All right. I want to kind of just do the have fun thing, but I don't know.

1:32:03 System Of A Down Yeah, go ahead. If that's what you want to do, it's okay.

1:32:04 Caller Do the have fun thing.

1:32:05 System Of A Down I know.

1:32:06 Adam It's what you want to do. Look, you can't have those long distance relationships when you're 22 and you're into different stuff. No religion, that's not challenge. Just do it. I know she's in Louisiana, so she's definitely a Jew because that's all they got on the bayou. That's all Jews, right?

1:32:23 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:32:24 Adam See, I know my religions.

1:32:25 Caller I know my religion.

1:32:26 Adam All right, let's, I'm going to give away this Durex condom thing to, let's see.

1:32:31 Drew One of the four colors.

1:32:33 Caller No, the best call was the A2M1.

1:32:35 Adam I've got a question.

1:32:36 Caller I'll leave it up to her. That's fake. I know, but that was the best one.

1:32:39 Adam Question for the fan.

1:32:40 Caller Topic.

1:32:40 Adam Greg?

1:32:41 Yeah.

1:32:42 Adam You're 22?

1:32:43 Caller Yeah, I am. What's going on?

1:32:45 System Of A Down Yeah, Greg Stansworthy.

1:32:46 Adam You want, yeah, you're a winner. You want to know if System Of A Down would ever consider playing in Iraq?

1:32:52 Caller Yeah, you know, support the troops, especially what's been going on. All the stuff that we've done over there. As far as liberation of the people. And I mean, coming up this fall, we've got the ratification of the Bill of Rights.

1:33:08 System Of A Down All right, get Greg to the CD.

1:33:09 Adam Greg, you're a humanitarian, you're an American, you're a patriot. And for that, you're going to get a condom and like a deck of playing cards.

1:33:17 System Of A Down So hold on.

1:33:17 Adam So hold on. Don't hang up.

1:33:19 System Of A Down And some chips.

1:33:20 Adam And we can't even get into this because it is...

1:33:23 System Of A Down No time.

1:33:23 Adam We're going to spend 20 minutes on it.

1:33:24 Drew Actually, it's a very simple answer to that.

1:33:26 Adam Yes.

1:33:26 Drew And the answer is I would be more unhappy to play our rack, but the person that I would really ask is our guitarist since he has a lot of family from Iraq. If he wanted to do it, I would do it in a heartbeat.

1:33:36 Adam Okay. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:33:40 Drew All right, guys.

1:33:40 Caller Here's the deal.

1:33:41 Caller Looking to hook up, call the Dateline. Sick of wasting time with the wrong person. Call the Dateline.

1:33:46 Caller One call is all you need to make. Call the Dateline.

1:33:48 Caller 1-877-889.

1:33:51 Caller Date.

1:33:53 System Of A Down There we go. Yes, we are.

1:33:55 Caller I won't say what I was going to say. Right on.

1:33:59 Drew This is always the saddest part.

1:34:01 Caller Yes, I'm really sad right now. I'm done talking about cars and traffic.

1:34:04 Drew It's like New Year's Eve.

1:34:05 Adam All right. Well, that's it with the fabulous System Of A Down, the dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, friends of the show, System Of A Down.

1:34:13 Caller Well, we love you guys. You know that, right?

1:34:15 Adam Too long.

1:34:15 Caller Thank you.

1:34:15 Adam Come back any time you like, John, Shavo. God bless and adios. Adios, amigos.

1:34:21 Drew It's always good to be here. See you on tour.

1:34:23 Adam We will take yourself a little extendo break. James Von Progg.

1:34:28 Caller Who's in the house?

1:34:29 Adam He's going to be in here tomorrow night telling us about our-

1:34:31 Caller Whover Von Valentine.

1:34:32 Adam Spirits. And until next time, it's Adam Perl for Dr. Drew, saying-

1:34:36 Caller See you later.

1:34:36 Adam Mahalo.

1:34:39 Caller Thank you. Thank you. Dr. Drew Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, July 26, 2005