Episode 1000717390134

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

1:01 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:04 Voiceover Sexually-oriented content.

1:07 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:08 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline. With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:20 Voiceover Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew is a board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist back from Vermont and New York. It's an ice skating tour.

1:35 Drew Yeah.

1:35 Adam How'd that go?

1:36 Drew It was good. They did good. It was a very heated competition. And had a nice time in New York.

1:40 Adam What did your daughter do?

1:41 Drew It was a theater on ice team. So it's a big team of young girls. And, you know, good times.

1:47 Adam Any guys doing that?

1:49 Drew Couple guys.

1:49 Adam Gay on gay.

1:50 Drew No, no, no, no. Smart. Yes.

1:53 Adam Yes. No, I know. No, I look, I know. You know, here's here's the only the other. Yeah. No. Yeah. Here's here's a little little tip to young lads out there. I know it's been said before, but if you choose a profession or if you choose classes when you're still in school that are exclusively guys, you know, you play on the football team. Guess what? You got dudes. You got dudes of plenty and you got naked dudes and you got sweaty dudes. And that's what you got. On the other hand, you like ladies. If you like the ladies, go go pick up the oboe and go sit in the wind wood section or go go on the dance team. I go start taking ballet or whatever.

2:36 Drew Cut hair.

2:38 Adam Right.

2:39 Drew Ice skating.

2:40 Adam Ice skating is good. And then later. Yeah. Later on in life. Because I'm just you need to learn from my mistakes is don't get out.

2:48 Drew Don't go into construction.

2:49 Adam No.

2:50 Drew Go have an office place where there are women.

2:52 Adam Have a look. I'm telling you that as a you know, look, when you're when you're 19, 20 year old guy and you're out of high school and you're just entering the workforce at, you know, some sort of bottom level, whatever, you pick up a hammer or a shovel. You will be damned to just work with sweaty Guatemalan guys and you know, Vietnam vets strung out on painkillers. And then because you're only making nine or 10 bucks an hour, you ain't getting laid. You're coming home, you're driving a crappy truck. You have a roommate, you know, 10 roommates in a small apartment. You got nothing.

3:27 Drew So really that should be the gay lifestyle.

3:29 Adam Yes.

3:30 Drew Face it.

3:30 Adam Yes.

3:31 Drew If you want to be gay, go to construction.

3:33 Adam Yeah. But the other guys aren't gay, but eventually enough guys got into it. Yeah. Well, they did. One of the village people was was the construction team to do that. It could have worked for the phone company. But here's my point. My point is, is or you're the exact same guy and you get a gig like bartending or even just bar back. Right. Just something where you're working at McGinty's over by the beach and you're not even you're not even pouring the drinks. You ain't Tom Cruise from cocktail. You're just a bar back. Even just just you're in the environment. There are chicks working there. There are chicks coming there. There are people having good times celebrating the exact same guy. I would love to do an experiment. But the exact same sort of 20 year old guy who was decent looking, but not a full fledged hunk, get the same pay. We'll get one million times more ass at that place than he will on a construction site.

4:24 Drew Or infinity more.

4:25 Adam Oh, infinity more because one number is zero. I actually owe ass for my-

4:31 Drew Assetotic, whoo.

4:32 Adam Boom.

4:33 Drew Zero.

4:34 Adam Cliffs of Dover. It's Half Dome of Yosemite. Pow, straight up. That's how the graph goes. The graph actually starts bending over toward that side. It's the crest of a wave. Never seen a graph go up and start bending the other way.

4:51 Drew Bad times.

4:52 Adam Oh, I know. But in high school, whatever, yes. Be the one straight guy that's involved with skating. There'll be tons of chicks with eating disorders and low self-esteem, throwing themselves at you.

5:02 Drew Let's get off of that subject, onto the shirt you're wearing. Onto the shirt you're wearing.

5:08 Adam Yeah. Oh, I got, Drew brought me a gift back from his travels. It's a blue, it's a smart blue, sort of cold balti blue t-shirt that just says Junior College on it.

5:18 Drew It looks like it should say like, Amherst College on it, but it says Junior College.

5:22 Adam And it is awesome.

5:23 Drew Yeah, it screamed Adam. I saw it at a store. I said, I have to take this home.

5:27 Adam I appreciate it. And I'll wear it proudly while getting my ass kicked by Junior College football team. But, and you should know that Tom Kinney was in here, Spongebob to you. And he shares my passion for my hatred of Junior College. Oh yes.

5:45 Drew Did he do it as Spongebob or as?

5:47 Adam No, he did it during, you know, while we're in the bathroom. Oh, he, he, he, I was like, enough already with Junior College. He was tiring my ear out.

5:55 Where's the cloven hoof, Prince of Darkness?

5:58 Adam Yes.

5:59 Drew There he is.

6:00 Adam There he is. All right. What else, Drew?

6:03 Drew That I did some commentary on Tom Cruise. What did you think of his whole ordeal? When he went crazy on the Today Show and started screaming at Matt Lauer.

6:11 Adam About psychiatry and the psychiatry medication and drugs.

6:15 Drew And I know the history and you need to study this. And if you knew it like I knew it, you'd have the same belief system.

6:21 Adam Yeah. Well, you know, here's what happens, Drew. You don't know because you're not a celebrity, but I know. I know the trappings of celebrity.

6:29 Drew Well, they end up in a bubble and they start thinking they understand and know everything.

6:33 Adam Yeah. And they don't. And anyone around them that tells them they're wrong or they should reel it in or it gets fired.

6:38 Drew Yeah.

6:38 Adam You know what I was yapping about last night? Think about the Prince, the artist formerly known as Prince.

6:45 Drew Yes.

6:46 Adam And I was saying, if I tried to pull that crap with any of my buddies, I intentionally hang out with most of my old buddies and Jimmy, who basically, you know, they just critique the hell out of you. Here's what here's why you need buddies. You need buddies because if you guys are going out on a Saturday night and you come walking out of the house wearing a leather vest and some bad boots, they need to yell at you to go back in the house and put some high tops on. We're not going out. We're not going out with one of the village people.

7:13 Drew Yes, they will. They will just beat the crap out of you. The clothes hanger.

7:18 Adam Yes. Clothesline.

7:19 Drew Yes.

7:20 Adam Yeah. Clotheshanger for the abortion. The point is or to get into the car. The point is, is they need your buddies. You need people in your life who are true. It's his wife. And then it's his wife and his wife and his wife, who says, look, where are you going? Who picked that shirt out? Go back up and put something else on. You look horrible. What's going on? No, no. Those glasses, the frames on those make you look like a thousand times gayer than you already are. Go get some new ones. You know what I mean? That's what you need. Now, obviously the princes and the Tom Cruises of the world have extracted these people from their lives.

7:52 Drew That's right.

7:53 Adam Because could you imagine saying to me, yeah, Adam, listen, I'm no longer gonna go as Dr. Drew. I'm gonna go as this. You just drew the snake that was going up the side of that crotch.

8:08 Drew The Caduceus.

8:09 Adam Caduceus' serpent was going up. Yeah, this is my new simp. I'm no longer Dr. Drew, I'm a symbol.

8:16 Drew And I'm the broadcaster formerly known as Dr. Drew.

8:19 Adam Right, and here's the thing. I'd be like, well, how do I say your symbol, you know, when we're starting the show? And you'd say, well, welcome to Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, and that's the broadcaster formerly known as Dr. Drew. I'd be like, are you high? Are you an idiot? You've got to be crazy. I'm going to beat the crap out of you right now.

8:38 Drew You would not.

8:38 Adam I would start smashing you with Caduceus' cane right in the head.

8:42 Drew Hermes up the ass.

8:43 Adam The point is, is obviously the princes of the world don't have that person because they would go, well, I'm just thinking of going as a symbol. And all their friends would just give them a good prison beating.

8:55 Drew Well, remember how we sort of get, particularly the male movie stars, you and I kind of have found generally they are so FOS.

9:04 Adam Less. Let me explain the sort of jackass, pecking order that we've sort of word. Bigger pompous, arrogant, semi-dangerous jackasses in order of appearance. The worst is probably the male movie star. We know that from being the show, whether Keanu Reeves and the list goes on and on. Guys that are basically driftwood smart, that think they have brains because they've eliminated all the people in their lives that call them idiots and they only have yes people that are on the payroll.

9:40 Drew They have also the whole world going, you're a genius, you're a genius, you're a genius. And the rest of us don't know.

9:45 Adam Why should you be a genius when you start making movies at 19 and 20 years later? How could you be? You're just making another movie.

9:52 Drew Yes.

9:53 Adam Right, all right. So, male actors, female actors are usually just vacuous.

9:59 Drew But not television.

10:00 Adam Oh, not actors, sorry. Movies, features, yeah. Now, comedians are usually just nutty. And it can be nice, but the female ones are just off the charts wacko.

10:11 Drew Yeah, the male comedians are usually smart and will listen. They may come back with some weird stuff. F-ed up. At least they're listening. Right.

10:18 Adam You know, now, ironically, probably the nicest of the group is the male sitcom actor.

10:25 Drew Yeah, I would say so.

10:27 Adam Yeah?

10:27 Drew Yeah, or even dramatic. Like, remember the guys from the OC before they got here? He was here very, I don't know how they are now, we don't get to talk to him anymore.

10:33 Right.

10:33 Drew But they were very, very nice, often humble.

10:36 Yeah, yeah.

10:36 Adam The guys coming in from sitcoms always seem to be super friendly guys.

10:40 Drew You got the East Side, you know, and East Side Morales.

10:42 Adam East Side Morales, oh my God. Him and who would have, Keanu Reeves ought to get together and just have a nice think tank. Go ahead and solve AIDS for us. That'd be awesome. Or maybe a band would be nice. That'd be awesome.

10:55 Drew Strange enough, radio guys come out looking pretty good.

10:59 Adam Yeah, yeah, well radio guys are really celebrities.

11:02 Drew But I understand, but still on the whole scale of things.

11:05 Adam Yeah, radio guys are usually just fat with bad haircuts, but they know they're not celebrities. But male feature actors are always the worst. But anyway, what were we talking about?

11:17 Drew The truly smart guys, like the broadcasters, the news people and stuff. Also very nice for humble, listening very carefully. We want their mind to be changed.

11:24 Adam Yes, all right, so what happens when you're Tom Cruise? I don't know. I guess you don't have enough people from the old neighborhood calling you an idiot and you start spinning out a little bit. That's fine.

11:37 Drew Yes, sir, Mr. Corolla.

11:39 Adam But you know what? There's something about the guy that doesn't bother me. I don't know why.

11:43 Drew Yes, he's not unlikable.

11:44 Adam Yes, he's sort of positive about things.

11:46 Drew In fact, I was watching the station interview thinking, well, this isn't so bad. I mean, so the guy's got an opinion. Why are we beating him up about it? And then he just went, you just start attacking.

11:55 Adam Psychology.

11:56 Drew He just went into therapy. A realm that was sort of he understood things and he was well trained. And I thought, yeah, that's just not true. You just don't know.

12:05 Adam Well, it's really it's if people keep if you're in a business where people keep asking your opinion and keep hanging on every word, you get more and more pompous.

12:16 Drew Yeah.

12:16 Adam I mean, it's just it's just I don't know. It's like you become some sort of dictator that started off as a decent person. And 20 years into it, you're just playing golf.

12:24 Very peasant's heads, you know.

12:26 Drew Interesting.

12:27 Adam Every guy. I mean, I suppose it's sort of an absolute power saying or maybe Fidel Castro. Or maybe all these guys had semi decent intentions at some point.

12:37 Drew Yeah.

12:37 Adam You know, at some point, well, you know, Stalin's just going to get Mother Russia back up on its feet and running and proud. You know, this people will will be number one again.

12:46 Drew Hitler had good intentions. People believed in what he believed in. Yeah.

12:49 Adam Every everybody was just super patriotic at the beginning. And then eventually that goes to paranoia. And then eventually you're having your brother executed.

12:57 Drew Yes. Right.

12:58 Interesting.

12:59 Drew So we've made the connection between the crews and the despotic, despotic dicks, dictators, in fact, heinous dictators from history and male movie actors.

13:08 Adam Yeah.

13:08 Drew OK. Got it.

13:09 Adam That that being said, I am dying to see War of the World dying, dying to see it. That's my kind of movie.

13:19 Drew Yeah, I bet.

13:20 Adam Spielberg and crews and stuff blowing up and aliens and on the run and special effects. That's a movie. Smart dialogue. Screw that. I want to see stuff. Matt.

13:32 What's up?

13:33 Adam I am seeing War of the World. Well, I'll see it this weekend. Don't stop me. Matt.

13:38 Yeah.

13:39 Adam What's up? 23.

13:40 Hey, guys.

13:44 Hey, look, I've been with this girl for about three years now. And the sex is great. As a matter of fact, she actually orgasms before I do, which is a godsend. But when it comes to oral sex, she's not responsive at all.

14:02 Drew Right. In fact, strangely enough, I'm doing a show for Discovery Health Channel tonight at midnight, where we discuss orgasm in huge detail.

14:10 Adam That's why you're back in the studio.

14:12 Drew That's why I'm back. You want to give the show a plug. Absolutely. But the point is, though, that I get this in great detail about this sort of like a, I think we got to get a semi-circle clock here going, Adam. Here's our clock. And on 60 percent of women, which is this part I'm coloring in here, I'm putting a pie chart together, then I'm coloring in 60 percent.

14:32 Adam They call that a semi-circle clock?

14:34 Drew Well, I'm just thinking about it.

14:35 Adam Oh, okay.

14:36 Drew And what I'm coloring in here is women that have orgasm only with oral sex.

14:41 Adam 60 percent.

14:42 Drew Then there's a group here.

14:43 Adam And this is women 18 to 34 or all women?

14:47 Drew This is once they begin having orgasm, which is older than 22 generally. And there's a group in here that has it, you know, usually with intercourse, but sometimes with oral sex.

14:58 Adam Well, this chart is all women who orgasm and we're breaking they out, right? You can't make it on this half clock if you don't orgasm.

15:05 Drew Pretty much all women orgasm. I mean, pretty much.

15:08 Adam Well, my penis would beg to differ.

15:11 Drew I understand. And then there's a group out here that has orgasm multiple times only with intercourse and multiple times.

15:18 Adam Where are they?

15:20 Drew They're out in here, this is like 10 percent or so. And I bet, Matt, if you kept going, your girlfriend would have more than one. I bet you have a series. And when you're out in this district here, you don't like oral sex.

15:31 Adam Yeah, when you're at the far end of the spectrum and you're the 10 percentile.

15:36 Drew Yeah, and even the ones that have it most of the time with intercourse tend not to like oral sex.

15:41 Adam Well, Drew basing his hypotheses much on his own sexuality, which is not a huge fan of the oral because...

15:50 Drew No, I'm basically talking to lots and lots of women, too.

15:52 Adam He's not a salad guy, he's a Salisbury steak man. He wants to dig in, he wants to put on the old feed bag. He don't want no sushi, he wants Vittles, Vittles. That's what he wants. He wants Vittles between the sheets. Matt, Cry Me A River. He's fine.

16:10 Drew He's fine, yeah.

16:11 Adam Not into oral sex? Fine.

16:12 Drew Yeah, and he's just curious. He's heard, I'm sure, the most women have... In fact, I had a woman ask me, she said, they should go, oh, my friends talk about oral sex, it's the only thing for them. I don't really like that. But I work as them with intercourse every time. And she couched it in, that's the only way I can do it. It's like... That's how screwed up we've made, all the women's magazines have made women, which is they're perfectly normal functioning. In fact, they're above normal and they feel like there's something wrong with them.

16:38 Adam Right. I'll tell you the difference between men and women. If a man is telling this to a woman, she's freaked out and disgusted, like someone approaching you. For men, if she's disgusting, we're disgusted. And if she's hot, we got a boner. You know what I mean? That's how we'll decide whether it's disgusting or not. Yes. Horrible. That's coming out of one of your mom's friends. It's like, hold on while I vomit into this waste paper basket.

17:04 Drew You know what I'm saying?

17:06 Adam What was that? Multi-orgas. Hang on. Not lubricating as you did in your thirties. That's how that works. But if she's hot, it's like, huh? I don't tell you. Oh, and do tell. I like when the chick's hot and you start asking those questions like it's not hot, but you're trying to just kind of get a little further. Remember that one? Like, yeah, but 69 can be pretty cool too. You don't like that? Yeah, me neither. No, not me. Yeah, but you keep going. But here's the, yeah, where were we? But Drew, okay, so women that are multi-orgasmic, can we, I don't want to oversimplify it, but maybe there's two things working. One is they just want to get to what?

17:56 Drew They either can't orgasm that way or it actually feels uncomfortable.

17:59 Adam No, no, I'm not saying, I'm saying two things. Just hear me out. One, I know they can't orgasm that way and that's why they just want to kind of get to it. Number, this isn't the way they orgasm, so let's get to it. And then number two, what if their machinery is so ultra sensitive that it's almost uncomfortable and it's sort of like rubbing your finger on the top palate of your mouth, like it kind of tickles, it's weird, it's uncomfortable.

18:27 Drew More in that vein because there's not that version of the guy. The guy may not be able to have an orgasm, may not be interested in it, but it still feels good to a guy.

18:35 Adam But could we surmise that they're sensitive, their sensitivity is what gives them the vaginal orgasm.

18:44 Drew I think so.

18:45 Adam And maybe the women who aren't having the vaginal orgasm are just less sensitive down there.

18:50 Drew I think something like that is accurate.

18:51 Adam Wow.

18:52 Drew Something along those lines. And that's now been shown fairly, some very good studies have shown that this entire mechanism is genetically dependent. So this idea that you could make somebody multi-orgasmic BS. There's now good evidence that it's all genes and that's just like how your butt looks and how your proportion and all kinds of stuff. So we have to have videos of how to become multi-orgasmic. Really?

19:15 Adam Right, right. And we have to have the workout video too. Stephanie?

19:19 Yes.

19:21 Adam Stephanie?

19:22 Yeah.

19:22 Adam 26?

19:24 Yes.

19:25 Adam What's happening?

19:27 Well, my question is, my husband was diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic about a year ago. And I'm wanting to know what the reality of him getting on meds and staying on meds is because so far he's been, he's found every reason in the book to get off meds.

19:53 Drew Which is something, a strange sort of phenomenon in schizophrenics and in bipolar patients too oftentimes, is they don't like to take the medicine for some reason. And schizophrenia can be really, really quite well treated. It's a biological disorder of the brain. It often has a sort of a, not really a genetic basis to it, but there appears to be some familial trends with it. We don't exactly know what triggers it, but it's something that causes a disruption, normal functioning of the brain, where people hear things, they have delusional preoccupations, they get paranoid. And there are medicines specifically designed to correct that and do quite well in doing so.

20:29 Adam If he doesn't take his meds, you're going to have a hard time hanging out with him, I would imagine.

20:35 Drew Oh yeah.

20:36 Well yeah, I left about a month ago because he tried to kill himself in front of me with a gun. So.

20:45 Drew Nice.

20:46 Adam How did that work out?

20:47 Well, he had stopped taking meds and he got a really crazy idea in his head and there's nothing I could do to convince him otherwise.

21:00 Adam Well, he's got to read dianetics. You don't understand the answers from within. You know what I mean? You're like a volcano exploding.

21:07 Drew And giving the medicine will just cover that.

21:08 Adam Yeah. That'll mask it. Yeah. No. Look, if you have a serious gash in the side of your car, you wouldn't just put toothpaste on it and try to cover it up. You'd actually have it fixed. You know what I'm saying? It's the same thing. I like when people do that kind of stuff. Oh, OK. Exactly.

21:24 Drew Exactly.

21:25 Adam I see. I see.

21:26 Drew And so it's my soul and not my brain.

21:28 Adam Right. I see. Anyway, so he's got to get on his medication. He's going to have to understand as bad off as he is or almost like an alcoholic. Like, look, unless you do this, there will be consequences. Relationship is going to end.

21:42 Drew There are some long acting medicines sometimes that can be used. And even so, I'll tell you what, Stephanie, it is a disease marked by relapses. It's something that needs to be monitored, and followed very carefully by a doctor. And boy, if he doesn't do that, he's going to end up sort of talking to himself wearing clean X-boxes on the street.

21:59 Adam Can he work?

22:01 No, he's, he's actually, I mean, he's the type where he really thinks that he's hearing God's voice and he's hallucinating. So work's just not really an option for him.

22:15 Drew Even when he's on medication?

22:17 When he's on medication, the hallucinations definitely go away, but he still thinks he's hearing from God. That is still going on.

22:28 Adam Do you have, do you have kids is what I'm asking, yes?

22:35 Well, we don't have a child together. I have a child from a previous marriage, but we don't have any kids together.

22:43 Adam Got to be delightful for the kid, by the way. How old's the kid?

22:47 He's seven.

22:49 Adam Uh-huh. He's seven. And by the way, you got a seven-year-old and a divorce on your belt, just 26. Just 26 and you're working on your second divorce. What's up, baby?

23:01 Yeah. Yeah, that's why I want to make this marriage work because I don't want to be divorced twice with a kid and be 26.

23:08 Adam All right. So here's the deal. Don't get the guy pregnant. And then, I mean, don't get you pregnant. Don't let the guy get you pregnant or get the guy pregnant. And because they have those very realistic strap-ons now, Drew.

23:20 Drew Just really quickly, does he have a drug history?

23:25 Yeah, he actually was a severe alcoholic and drug addict from age 12 to about age 20.

23:33 Drew Because I wonder, is he doing any stimulants lately? Any speed?

23:37 Well, the thing was we had originally started seeing somebody that gave him Adderall for OCD.

23:44 Drew Right.

23:44 And he got really addicted to that.

23:47 Drew Yeah, see, sometimes schizophrenia gets, I've seen many drug addicts misdiagnose the schizophrenics when they're using a lot of hallucinogens or stimulants, they can look exactly like a schizophrenic. So the one hopeful note here is that perhaps he's not schizophrenic and just a bad drug addict. And maybe getting to some sobriety. And if he's not in sobriety, even if he's schizophrenic, he really needs to get into a program of recovery.

24:11 Adam My brother-in-law is schizophrenic and he's fine except for the way he wears his hats. We talked about that.

24:17 Drew What does he do?

24:18 Adam Well first off, schizophrenics and all crazy people wear weird hats. And their hats always look like somebody took them, pulled it off their head, mashed it, just started wringing it out, then fluffed it once and smashed it back onto their head. They don't wear the hat, the hat sits on their head. It's perched. It's perched. It's like a hat landed on your head and took a crap. And it always drives me nuts because I'm like, look, give me that thing, fluff that thing out a couple of times and pull it on like you're on a baseball team. But it's just like sort of, the front's a little askew and it's never filled with their head. There's more air in it and it's sort of mashed. It's accordioned on their head and the back thing is like unstamped sometimes or something. And it's like, look, I wouldn't know you're nuts if you snap the thing on your hat, but your hat on right. Like there's a weird part. And I know that's what makes you nuts. And this is why I feel like I'm a traveler from the future time, back sent back in time to be driven insane and eventually kill myself. You know, eventually I thought I was here to do work. I realize I'm here to kill myself.

25:27 Drew Right. Right.

25:28 Yeah. Yeah.

25:29 Drew But this is your purgatory.

25:30 Adam Look, I want to scream like, look, snap the hasp in the back of the hat. Fluff it out once and pull it on and no one will know you're nuts. I mean, if you start talking, they'll know you're nuts. But not not the guy next to you on the bus is unless you open your mouth. Now I can see you're nuts from 300 yards because the hat smashed on and weird. You know, you see old guys that way, too. Oh, crazy old guy. Look at that hat. As opposed to the guy is wearing a decent ball cap or golfing cap or something. It looks like it's pulled on.

25:57 Drew You're right.

25:59 Adam Guys who wear hats the right way actually look saner.

26:02 Drew Yes.

26:03 Adam Than your average person.

26:04 Drew Yes, sir, Mr. Corolla. You know, you could pull that off.

26:07 Pull it off.

26:08 You know what I like to do?

26:09 Adam I like to have like a seminar where I just work with crazy people on how to wear hats. You could look 100 percent saner just by putting the right hat on at the right time. And then I would get like I would get my celebrity friends together and we'd get money to get hats. I'd get like organizations like the Dodgers and the Angels. We wouldn't need the Kings. We don't want any of those hockey helmets. But you know, just get people to donate hats. Come on, you're a celebrity. You got your own. You played that golf tournament. You're never going to wear that hat. Donate it to crazy people who don't know how to wear hats. We'll work out some sort of clever acronym. And we'll fluff it and all have seminars and tutors and everything. We'll put the hats on and no one will know they're nuts. And here's the other thing you can't do when you're crazy. You can't have that huge tuft of hair sticking out the front of the hat or sticking out of the hole in the back. That's the other thing too. It's like when you put a hat on, you've got to pull your hair back or get it out of your face. You know what I mean? It's the other thing. It's like you pull your pants up and snap those. You know what I mean?

27:12 Drew HWH, how to wear hats.

27:13 Adam How to wear hats. And then we all get together and we cut it out. All the proceeds after I get my 50 percent for expenses, go into hats, go into hat education. You know what I mean? Hat awareness. Yes.

27:27 Drew Yes.

27:28 Adam Yes.

27:29 Drew All right.

27:29 Adam Let's take a break, Drew.

27:30 Drew All right.

27:30 Adam Do you know what I mean? Big old fat, tough, the bang. Oh, you know, just big clump of hair sticking out in the front, back all mashed, a little bit askew. You know, what is that? If you just do that thing where you sort of pull your bangs back and just sort of pull it on once, seen a sky on the block. Now, crazy man, someone should be chasing you with a butterfly net. All because of the hat. All right. Or just don't wear a hat.

27:54 Drew Right.

27:55 Adam All right. But you know what, if they could put the hat on, right, they wouldn't be crazy.

27:59 Drew If they had the HWH Society, they'd be fine.

28:03 Adam A can of Reeves to speak, get Tom Cruise in there, be awesome. All right. We're going to take a break. We'll be back after this.

28:17 Check out James Patterson's number one bestseller, Maximum Ride, at MaximumRide.com. You might even get to hear yourself in a radio commercial.

28:38 Yeah!

28:40 Adam What is happening, everybody? Back to Drew. He's got a rare appearance. Back in the Hizzee after a little whirlwind tour of Vermont. Vermont sounds nice.

28:52 Drew Yeah, it's pretty boring.

28:53 Adam New York sounds boring.

28:54 Drew Beautiful. Beautiful. They went to college in Western Massachusetts, which is very much like Vermont. And then it was in Burlington where it's active enough there that when you get there, they tell you there's two things to do. You can go to the Vermont Teddy Bear Factory.

29:11 Adam Or the Coat Factory.

29:12 Drew Where, by the way, no, there's no Burlington Coat Factory, sounds enough. You can go to the Teddy Bear Factory. You and I do promotions for it every year. And every radio professional on earth is represented in that factory except you and I.

29:25 Adam Oh, you mean there's pictures of everybody.

29:26 Drew Of course, you and I. It's almost funny to think about. And then the other alternative is to go to the Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream Factory. Which is where, I mean, Benjamin, you would think it was IBM. I mean, it's just, we have Ben & Jerry's here.

29:43 Adam Wow.

29:43 Drew It's an ice cream maker.

29:44 Adam Yeah. You should have a flavor.

29:48 Drew I should?

29:49 Adam Yeah.

29:50 Drew Yeah.

29:50 Adam Tastes like lithium or something.

29:52 Drew The cough syrup. It feels sort of like a Krusty the Clown.

29:54 Adam Triple lithium fudge.

29:56 Drew Yeah.

29:56 Adam I feel good. Picture you on there. Yeah. It'd be awesome.

29:59 Drew Think about this.

30:00 Adam Yeah. I'd like to come up with my own flavor. And actually, I just like to take Chunky Monkey. Because here's the deal. You got like Cherry Garcia and stuff, right? How about we toss Chunky Monkey? Monkey. There's no monkey. Plus, I think it's a little derogatory.

30:17 Drew Yes.

30:17 Adam Yeah. How about just Adam Flahtem or something? You know what I'm saying?

30:21 Drew Dr. Drew's something off Dexter Mithorfan.

30:24 Adam Oh, yeah.

30:24 Drew Dr. Drew's.

30:26 Adam Dexter Delight.

30:27 Drew Dexter Delight.

30:29 Adam Yeah. Rachel?

30:31 Yeah.

30:31 Adam You're 18?

30:33 Caller Yeah.

30:34 Adam You've heard of vaginal rejuvenation?

30:36 Caller Yeah, I did.

30:37 My boyfriend actually brought it up to me. And he was telling me that our sex is not that good anymore because I'm too loose.

30:45 Drew Oh, my God.

30:46 And he like suggested this vaginal rejuvenation that he read about in the back of like some LA Weekly or something like that.

30:52 Drew All right, Rachel. Here's the deal. A, that is for women that have had babies and vaginal deliveries of babies. Is that you?

31:00 Caller No.

31:01 Drew Okay, that's what that is for. It's rejuvenation after baby.

31:05 Adam Wow.

31:06 Drew Okay. I did a whole show on this damn thing.

31:08 Adam You have a horrible boyfriend.

31:09 Drew You have a horrible boyfriend. Exactly. That and by the way, I talked to dozens of men whose wives went through this vaginal rejuvenation. And really none of them had any complaints beforehand. It was all the women's who didn't like how they looked basically.

31:26 Rachel.

31:27 Caller Yeah.

31:28 Adam What's wrong with your boyfriend?

31:30 Caller I don't know. I've been with him for like eight months.

31:37 Drew But I don't know. But you know, I'm thinking about how guys' minds work. And maybe this is a diabolical sort of scheme building for the anal sex thing. You know what I'm saying?

31:48 Caller Actually, he did ask me about that.

31:51 Drew Yeah, there we go.

31:52 Adam Interesting.

31:53 Drew I think that's what he's up to.

31:55 Caller I'm not so hot about trying that.

31:57 Drew Right. Therefore, honey, we got a choice. We're going to do that or you have to have a surgery.

32:01 Adam Wow.

32:02 Drew See, this guy's in a hole.

32:03 Adam Yeah. You want to go under that gamma knife?

32:05 Drew Actually, there's a good one with laser. It's done in... Where the hell did I find this woman?

32:09 Adam In the vagina.

32:10 Drew No, no, no. What do you mean? In North Carolina or something. Where else would you do it? In North Carolina.

32:14 Adam Oh, I see. Okay, oh, okay. Yeah, Rachel, this guy is... I don't like this guy.

32:21 Caller Yeah.

32:22 Adam What's he do for a living? Does he sell something?

32:24 Caller Yeah, he sells clothes.

32:26 Caller He works at a store.

32:28 Adam Hmm, yeah. Salespeople are horrible people.

32:30 Drew Does he go to school?

32:32 Caller Yeah, he does.

32:33 Drew How old is he?

32:35 Caller He's 23.

32:37 Drew What's he studying in school?

32:39 Caller Oh, he's an art student.

32:42 Adam Hmm, studying manipulation of young women. You're 18. He's 23.

32:47 Drew Yeah.

32:47 Adam I don't like this guy. I don't trust him.

32:50 Drew What a bizarre thing. A, it's sort of a bizarre preoccupation of his. We don't trust the sort of whole impulse. And stupid enough to recommend something that's completely out of, you know, just does he make sense?

33:01 Adam Yeah. What are you going to do? Drop 5,500 bucks on this as an 18 year old woman who's never had a child?

33:09 Caller Right.

33:12 Drew There is no rejuvenation for the juvenile.

33:14 Adam Yeah. You're juvenile.

33:17 Caller I'm like the country or something like that. I think he's from down south.

33:23 Drew Yeah, whatever, Rachel. You make excuses. Well, that explains it. Then he's fine. Well, why don't you say so?

33:27 Adam From the south. Yeah. Everyone heard of Southern Gentlemen?

33:31 Caller Oh.

33:33 Adam Okay, Groove Ball. Maybe you deserve this guy.

33:36 Caller Hey. Hey.

33:39 Caller Hey.

33:39 Adam What are you doing? Hold on. I'm smelling junior college on you, baby. Yeah.

33:44 Caller Hey.

33:45 Caller Maybe, but no. Yeah.

33:48 Adam What junior college are you going to?

33:51 Caller Moore Park.

33:53 Adam Hold on. Hold on.

33:54 Caller Shaw.

33:57 Drew My God.

33:59 Caller All right.

33:59 Adam Please. Please dislodge yourself from that abode of the damned and get a job, would you please?

34:08 Caller Okay.

34:09 Adam All right. There we go. Look, listen, listen, stupid people. Don't go to junior college. I was telling people the other night, why don't you just jump headfirst into La Brea Tar Pits? It's a more fruitful way to spend your time. You get more out of it. At least someone will wedge a nickel in your ass once in a while.

34:27 Drew Yeah. You participate in history that way, at least.

34:29 Adam That's right. You're next to a styrofoam brontosaurus. It's awesome. Put some McDonald's rapper stuck to it. It's awesome.

34:36 Sloth.

34:37 Adam Yeah, sloth. You don't hear about the four toe, just the three toe. Josh?

34:43 Yes.

34:44 Adam You're 28?

34:46 Caller Yes.

34:47 Adam What's happening?

34:48 Caller Yeah. Me and my wife just got married in February. And we want to be, she wants to be more intimate with me in a way that she hasn't been with any other guy, which is with anal. And we've tried lubrication, you know, and every time we've tried it, you know, it hurts her.

35:08 Adam Hold on. And hold on, hold on, hold on. Stop. Yes, sir. You have a amazing bogus quality to your voice. Ma'am. Yeah. And lately my batting average has been really high. People just, I see through you like rice paper. Something's up. I don't buy it.

35:30 Caller What do you mean?

35:31 Adam Well, now I'm going bogus. Bogus call, Josh. I don't know what your bad actor. I don't believe it.

35:39 Drew What's your question?

35:40 Caller Well, my question is, like, is there anything else other than lubrication that we can use for anal sex? That's the thing I wanted to ask.

35:51 Adam Like car wax or something or chicken fat?

35:55 Caller I don't know what's out there really. Only thing I really know about with that particular kind of sex is just regular lubrication. Right.

36:03 Adam And you want to like my wife is really like a synthetic or a multi-grade.

36:10 Caller Yeah, something like that.

36:12 Adam Well, I know that, you know, here's the thing. Penzoil makes one for high mileage. She got over 100,000 miles. Josh, what's up? What do you do?

36:26 Caller I'm I work as a waiter and I'm also going to school as well. I'm learning to become a psychologist.

36:33 Drew Learning to become a psychologist. What is that?

36:35 Adam There's something very insincere about you.

36:37 Drew Learning to become a psychologist, what does that mean even?

36:40 Adam Studying psychology.

36:41 Caller I'm going to school right now to try to become a, I want to learn to help kids with special needs.

36:46 Adam Okay. All right.

36:48 Drew That's not necessarily a psychologist.

36:49 Adam Well, he wants to help. There's nothing wrong with that. And I like to help himself to seminal too. Well, he's helping the kids. When he's not helping the kids, he's helping himself to seminal. Josh.

37:00 Caller Yes.

37:01 Adam Have you ever been with a guy?

37:04 Caller No.

37:05 Adam Ever thought about it?

37:06 Caller No.

37:08 Adam Not your vocabulary?

37:10 Caller No.

37:11 Adam Nothing, huh?

37:13 Caller I have a lot of gay friends. I'm a waiter, obviously. So I have a lot of gay friends, but other than that.

37:18 Drew All right. So here's the deal.

37:19 Adam How many women have you been with?

37:22 Drew How dare you?

37:22 Caller At least 50.

37:25 Adam At least 50?

37:27 Caller Uh-huh.

37:27 Adam No, not the oldest one you've been with.

37:30 Caller The oldest one?

37:31 Adam No, we're looking for numbers.

37:33 Caller The oldest lady I was with, I was 20 and she was 40.

37:40 Adam Did she have a penis?

37:42 What?

37:43 Adam Okay. Listen, Josh, here's the thing. We're busting your chops. Our spider sense is tingling with you, but here's the thing. No, ever get molested when you were a child by a male.

37:57 Caller Yes, I did.

37:58 Adam Oh, there was. We heard that on you.

38:01 Drew Yeah. Yes. I got pounding on.

38:05 Caller I got molested when I was younger and also got raped when I was 17 by a male.

38:12 Adam Seventeen? Oh, my God.

38:15 Drew How do you get a gun point? A knife point or something?

38:18 Caller Well, like, I've never... This guy was a friend of mine, supposedly a friend, and he was teaching me how to become a better singer. I was in choir at the time, and I never drank any kind of alcohol at that time. I grew up in a really small, small community, and he took me off the site. He said he was having a heart attack. He wanted to... He was going to have either a heart attack or something with his heart was going to kill him.

38:50 Adam How old was this guy?

38:52 Caller I don't even remember.

38:53 Adam I mean, was he a 50-year-old guy?

38:56 Caller No, he wasn't that old. He was probably about in his late 20s, early 30s.

39:02 Adam Uh-huh, and he was a friend of yours, yeah. He said he was going to have a heart attack?

39:06 Caller He was a friend of the teacher's, and then he became a friend of mine because he was helping me with my singing lessons and whatnot because he was an opera singer.

39:13 Drew He said he was going to die, right?

39:16 Caller Yeah.

39:16 Drew He told you he was going to die.

39:17 Adam It's an interesting story.

39:20 Caller But he took me down to the beach. He was telling me what was going on. He wanted to put me on his life insurance policy. We went down to the beach, so he bought some alcohol. At first, we were walking up to the store. He asked me what I wanted to drink. I told him what kind of soda I wanted. He goes, no, what do you want to drink?

39:38 Drew Are you cool?

39:39 Caller I'm like, do you see what I'm saying? Basically, he didn't force the alcohol down my throat, obviously. I drank it willingly. I got smashed, and he raped me.

39:53 Adam Wow, and I mean, you look at yourself as being raped?

39:57 Caller Uh-huh, very much so. I was telling him, don't do this, stop, da, da, da.

40:03 Adam Right, okay.

40:05 Drew He's already been victimized as a kid. Right, right.

40:07 Adam Who victimized you when you were a kid?

40:09 Caller No, he didn't victimize me.

40:10 Adam No, I said who?

40:11 Caller It was actually by a family member.

40:12 Adam Who did? Oh, boy, that's horrible. All right.

40:16 Caller Hey, Josh, so-

40:18 Caller I was molested and abused mentally and physically when I was a kid.

40:21 Adam All right, so you, and now you want to go into a field where you can help children that have been abused.

40:27 Caller Yes, exactly.

40:28 Adam All right, that's noble. And that's usually, it's either that or start molesting other people.

40:34 Drew Right.

40:35 Adam Don't do that. Yeah, okay. All right, so and you're married.

40:39 Drew How's that relationship going, your marriage?

40:41 Caller Oh, it's great. It's the best relationship I've ever been before on my life.

40:44 Drew All right. All right. Don't worry about the anal sex.

40:46 Adam Yeah, you guys are intimate enough.

40:48 Drew Yeah, having anal sex doesn't make it more intimate, okay?

40:51 Caller I know that, but like-

40:52 Adam All right, water-soluble lube, they ain't gonna do better than that.

40:56 Drew No, I guess there are, you know, there are graduated plugs or something you could use. So, you know, I mean, they're crazy things you can do. If you demand that act, you know, I would sort of consult with a store that sells these things. I'm sure they have paraphernalia, but the fact is that doesn't make things more intimate. No, no, she needs that, it's into that, but then she wouldn't be, it wouldn't be too painful for her then. So, not for her.

41:20 Adam We gotta wrap up, but here's the thing.

41:23 Drew We heard something with him. We got it. I was like, whoa. I wrote Gay Down, I was pounding on it. Yeah, Drew's, Drew's, Gaydar was on.

41:32 Adam Yeah, Gago Counter was off the charts.

41:36 Drew So, he's not really gay, but he had all that.

41:38 Adam No, but then I asked if he was abused because there was something. Now, here's the thing, everyone. I know we sound like pompous asses, but Drew and I just hear voices. We don't see people, we don't see how they're dressed or what kind of car they pulled up in or how they chose to present themselves. We just hear their voice, and their voice sort of makes us feel a certain way. And we felt, first I felt like he was insincere, I felt he was BSing, but I think that he was disconnected. He's disconnected, right, which is what happens when you get sexually abused by a family member for a long period of time. But then Drew felt gay, but then, and by the way, we've not closed the chapter of the book on Young Josh. I wonder if he's a six pack away from another trist with one of the co-workers, another rape, perhaps. But anyway, whatever it was, is we heard something weird in his voice, and you know what was nice? He was very forthright with the whole thing.

42:42 Drew Yeah, yeah, it's heavy stuff talked about in the radio, God bless him.

42:45 Adam No, and there's nothing worse for us than to go, did something happen to you? No, no, never did. Then we walk away thinking we need to recalibrate ourselves. Instead, we feel like geniuses and we're empowered. All right. Sorry, Josh. Water-soluble and God bless. Thank you. Take a little break, and we'll be right back after this.

43:05 Caller Thank you for calling Loveline.

43:07 Caller Your call will be answered in the order it seems interesting.

43:14 Adam Ready for something new? Try Durex Tingling Condoms. There's sex, and then there's Durex. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I can't get out of bed. I got about a year off, so everyone around me is going to have to just step it up a little bit. And by the way, I don't want any change in lifestyle. I'm going to fly my model planes for a year, take some time to find myself. I'm overwhelmed. I have chronic fatigue syndrome and whatever else, some sort of joint thing, phantom joint pains. I got to relax. Drew said to relax.

43:49 Drew Take a year off.

43:50 Adam Take a year off. Hey, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Dr. Drew in the hissay.

43:57 Drew Those of you listening on the West Coast Discovery Health Channel Midnight Tonight, please check out the Orgasm Show.

44:03 Adam Awesome show. I didn't, let's see. Well, yeah, I'm going to Tivo it.

44:07 Drew No, you've seen this one, I think.

44:08 Adam I've seen it. Awesome. Steve?

44:11 Caller Yeah.

44:12 Adam 19?

44:13 Caller Yeah.

44:14 Adam What's up?

44:16 I've been taking steroids for about a month and a half now. And my balls, they came up like they shrunk up. They didn't shrink, they just like they were cold. You know, and they shrink.

44:30 Drew Well, let's be fair.

44:33 And I was told that, well, they'll come down eventually.

44:37 Drew But yeah, when you stop doing steroids.

44:39 Oh, duh.

44:39 Drew Although I've seen situations where they don't actually.

44:42 Adam Hold on, Steve, is this a bogus call or are you just kind of a jackass?

44:48 Well, I'm a jackass for taking steroids for one, but no, it's not bogus. I've been taking steroids for a month and a half. And why? Why? I've been a skinny kid. I don't know, through sixth grade, all the way up. I've been, I worked out through that whole time. And my body type, you don't gain. You gain a little muscle, but you don't show. So I started taking it. But...

45:10 Adam Big difference?

45:12 Yeah, I gained a lot of weight. Probably about an extra 35 pounds in a matter of a month. And I don't know. But anyways, even during sex, even during sex, my balls never came down.

45:24 Drew Yeah, Steve, your testicles shrink. Your body's been taken over by an androgen. You give yourself, in other words, what your body normally produces, is you've now flooded your system with. So the organs that produce that shut down. And when they shut down, they kind of shrink up. And that is your testes.

45:42 Adam Hey, I was watching, so no duh, like you said. I was watching Real Sports, and they did an interesting story, which is interviewed a bunch of guys who sort of did steroids responsibly. And everyone has that reaction, or knee-jerk reaction to it. But according to this story, there hasn't been a lot of definitive data produced on long-term steroid use. And I know people do that. Hey, Lyle Alzado died of a brain tumor. Well, a lot of people, you know, my wife's friend died five years ago. She didn't do any steroids.

46:19 Drew You don't know the long-term effects.

46:21 Adam Sometimes 45-year-old guys have brain tumors. Sometimes 25-year-old guys have brain tumors. You know, it's not, and yes, those guys did steroids, or those guys could have smoked, or they could have drank cognac. But it doesn't necessarily mean... Yeah. And...

46:35 Drew Our governor just lost her, isn't he?

46:36 Adam Right. They talked to George DuMangian. Who's our governor? The point is, or is it Sam Uarty? The point is, is they talked to guys who are like, you know, I've used it for 30 years. I use it correctly. And I'm in the best health of my life. I'm 70 years old. I'm having a lot of muscle mass. This used responsibly.

46:58 Drew We don't know what that means. That's the problem.

47:00 Adam Right. And we assume it's bad. But what they're saying is, is, well, it's not really. I mean, people just do that. Oh, steroids are going to kill you kind of thing. I know we got to take a break, but there's not really long-term whatever.

47:12 Drew Let's pick up the discussion. We'll talk.

47:14 Adam Okay. We'll talk about that after this. Hey everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Doctor Who. Dr. Drew.

48:05 Drew Yeah.

48:06 Adam Yeah, sat around here with Dr. Ben and Dr. Marcel.

48:13 Drew How is Marcel?

48:14 Adam Marcel's good. I mean, you know, actually, Marcel's actually fairly quiet, but when you, you know, he has answers.

48:22 Drew Any new procedures or anything you must promote?

48:25 Adam Um, let's see, anything with the laser, the boobs?

48:30 Drew Yeah, I figured those are the two areas he'd be talking about.

48:33 Adam No, you know, silicone's back.

48:37 Drew Yeah.

48:37 Adam And safer than ever, never really was dangerous. And it's one of those things that we talked about, which is like many things in our society that you people just take as gospel sometimes, because you see some stat or you see, hear somebody's story on Oprah and it's real easy. It's like, look, I was living in the house and then the mold started taking over. The killer mold started and I had asthma. My child had asthma. They had to be rushed to the, I had to rush them to the emergency hospital. We had to move out into a hotel. Here's all I hear, everyone else hears the story. I just hear, I'm nuts, I'm nuts, I'm nuts. Then once in a while, I'm goddamn nuts, they underscore. Yeah, you're nuts.

49:25 Drew But getting back to the overstating data, takes us back to the steroid discussion.

49:30 Adam Well, hold on, the stuff with the silicone versus the saline, silicone was never dangerous. It was just nutty broads, same ones that I guarantee I would love to look into their histories with the environmental, sexual abuse. They got the boob job in the first place, which puts them on a list, a large list, but a list of we should take a closer look at them.

49:52 Drew Remember, that was back in the day where that was an exotic procedure, too.

49:54 Adam Well, that's true, too. I mean, here's the deal, boob jobs dime a dozen. Now, back in the day, when they started complaining about this stuff, people getting the boob jobs, that was a certain list of crazy.

50:05 Drew Female impersonator.

50:06 Adam Right. So I guarantee these are the same people with all these syndromes that never really, no doctor can ever get to the bottom of and never show up. Here's my feeling, if it don't show up on an x-ray, you don't got it.

50:20 Drew Well, now you're talking like Tom Cruise, though.

50:22 Adam That's right. He's my hero.

50:24 Drew Okay.

50:25 Adam Him and Keanu. Point break.

50:28 Drew Anyway, the steroid thing is, the point is well taken, that we really don't know the risks of steroids. It's very hard to document that the use patterns are all over the place. It's clear that high dose, long term bad thing. And I made the comment, Adam, I said, we're all the Mr. America's, Mr. Universe's from 10, 20 years ago. Gone. Dead.

50:50 Adam Well, where? But where's Billy Ray Cyrus? You know what I mean? He's alive somewhere. I just don't know where he is.

50:57 Drew All right. Be that as it may.

50:58 Adam Florida, if they're alive. I'm going with Florida.

51:01 Drew Probably big doses of things. And there are smaller things. There's different kinds of things now. And do these things really have long term? We don't know. I have a general philosophy that if there's not, if you're not treating a disease state, you could only have a negative effect.

51:15 Adam Well, but here's, okay, I got a couple of things to say about that. First off, you know, I'm sitting here with Dr. Ben, the vag doc, and he's telling me, you know, about how, you know, women can control their periods via the, you know, the hormone and birth control. And that is common practice now. And they don't really even think that women need to have their periods really anymore. And, you know, I say to him, well, does it seem weird that you're sort of ingesting a hormone and sort of controlling your flow? And he's like, no, it's good. It's healthy. It's nothing wrong with it. So sometimes you can kind of monkey with yourself. And it turns out kind of better for you because I and I think a lot of people had this and still have this thought about like birth control, like, come on. Now you're playing God. You're going on a honeymoon. So you're stopping your period or you've decided to do with your periods altogether. Yeah, kind of thing. I know it's a different thing. I'm no scientist. Yes. I'm just a humble broadcaster, but I'm saying philosopher warrior. It almost, philosopher warrior, it sort of falls under the same heading, which is, look, you're monkeying and manipulating. And as it turns out, doesn't seem to be any, any fiddler to pay for this manipulation, at least with the ladies. This, this a little bit different, but it was a very interesting story where they said, where is the data? Where is the long-term data? Where is the research papers? Yeah, on male steroids. Where is it? And it's a knee-jerk thing, which is, this is bad, this is wrong. You're playing God, you're looking for an unfair advantage. This is not the American way. You're trying to cheat the system and you will be punished. And it's really almost a religious philosophy, which is, oh yeah, go ahead and whore it up now. Have fun. I'll see you in hell.

52:57 Drew Well, but there is, in fact, in nature, in human biology, you don't get a free lunch. I've said this a million times. There's always a price to be paid for things. And here's the deal with this.

53:06 Adam Not always.

53:07 Drew Well, here's the deal with the female hormones, for instance. You're trying to prevent, for the most part, you're trying to prevent a pregnancy, which is a dangerous state. You're trying to prevent, and there are long-term studies with women. You have both. You have something, and it's not completely risk-free. People have strokes, people have clots. It's not like it's a zero risk. But the risk of pregnancy is also quite substantial.

53:29 Adam Well, but they're doing it, and they're manipulating and controlling themselves, and there seems to be no adverse effect or long-term effect.

53:39 Drew To how they manipulate it, not to just whether you do it or don't do it. In other words, taking birth control pills, cycling it is no different than not cycling it. But taking birth control pills versus not taking birth control pills, yeah, there are some risks of taking birth control pills.

53:53 Adam You yourself always say that it's probably safer to, than pregnancy. Well, not only than pregnancy, but that it can lower certain risks or certain other health benefits.

54:02 Drew There are some health benefits to it.

54:03 Adam That probably evens out. Yes, evens out of the park. Point is, is there are things we do all the time in medicine that are sort of manipulating the body, cheating death, you know, hey, give me your bone marrow, we're gonna put it in my body, that kind of thing. This has to do with vanity in cosmetics, in a sense. But one could also argue that the 70-year-old guy who's on the juice has more muscle mass than most 50-year-old guys, therefore stronger, able to resist, maybe, you know, if this guy slips in his bathtub, he's not breaking a hip, he's breaking the tub.

54:41 Drew Point well taken.

54:42 Adam All right, so all I'm saying is, is I need some juice.

54:46 Drew Okay, so I have to score for you on that front too?

54:49 Adam All I'm saying is, is we have sort of knee-jerk reactions to this like we do to cockroaches.

54:56 Drew You're right.

54:56 Adam And then you stop and you go, anyone ever get attacked by cockroach or bitten by cockroach or anyone killed by cockroach? You know what I mean? You go, all right, well, let's just take a look. It's ugly, so we don't like it.

55:08 Caller Brooke? Hi.

55:11 Adam What is up? You're 20.

55:13 Caller Yeah, I'm so excited to be talking to you guys. I've listened to you guys forever. Ever since Adam was saying the the world is your oyster.

55:21 Adam Yeah.

55:22 Drew I bet that's still on tape.

55:23 Adam Oh, Kenny Anderson's played 28 times since you've been gone. The world is your oyster. I mean, because that's all the world is.

55:31 Caller Oh, I love that. Well, I have a question for you guys.

55:35 Adam The world is your oyster. I mean, because that's all the world is.

55:41 Caller I've been in a relationship with this guy for a while and I'm very much in love and he's very much in the with me and our sex is very good. But he takes a very long time to reach orgasm. A very long time. Like 45 minutes.

56:01 Drew And I thought you said your sex was good.

56:05 Caller It is, but you know.

56:06 Drew How good could it be when it's taking a very long, I mean, very long time. Like, Ouch!

56:13 Adam Yeah.

56:13 Drew How could that be good?

56:14 Caller Yeah, after a while it starts to hurt.

56:16 Drew Right.

56:17 Adam Yeah, your oyster gets sore.

56:19 Caller Yeah, and he doesn't understand why I don't want to have sex three and four times in one week. I know. I just only want to do it once in my life. But it's the greatest.

56:27 Adam It's so fantastic, though.

56:29 Caller It's awesome. I don't know what I could do to make him go faster.

56:34 Adam Well, what's up? Probably nothing.

56:38 Drew You see, he may be able to do something, though.

56:41 Adam Is he has he been with many ladies beside you?

56:44 Caller No, I'm his first.

56:46 Adam Yeah. See, that's what it is. See, these guys, they've been beating. Is he is he is he circumcised?

56:54 Caller Yeah, he is.

56:55 Adam These guys that have been beating off for nine years before they. How old is he?

57:01 Caller He is twenty one.

57:03 Adam Twenty one. First lady.

57:04 Drew Nine years.

57:05 Adam Yeah, make it 11 years. No, seriously, the guy's been beating off since 13, maybe 14. He has, you know, seven, eight years under his belt. And by the way, those are the gravy gravy years.

57:20 Drew I mean, put it that in man hours.

57:21 Adam Oh, hold on a second. I mean, I'm going to give I'm going to give the guy the benefit of the doubt and say started beating off at 15. Just now. No, no. OK, let's call it 14. Let's call it 14.

57:34 Drew Let's give it seven full years.

57:36 Adam Let's give it.

57:36 Drew Let's give it eight years, at least 21.

57:38 Adam Well, let's just give it whatever. Let's just give him seven, seven years of beating off. OK, at, you know, three times a week benefit of the doubt. Yeah, I'm just going to say because there's no such thing as weekends when you're beating off. Every day is a workday when you're beating off. You know what I mean?

57:57 Drew How many times a year?

57:58 Adam Oh, no.

57:59 Caller 200 times a year.

58:00 Adam No, yeah, I know. Yeah, no, yeah.

58:03 Drew 200.

58:03 Adam No, I was basically just going to go daily.

58:06 Drew OK. All right.

58:07 Adam I mean, you go daily when you're when you're 15, 16, 17. Well, and then you're going to go conservative and you're not getting laid. All right. 300 times 2100 times. The guy has orgasmed without you.

58:20 Drew And put that in man hours. There's a guy that takes 45 minutes. Oh, well, no, that's no, it's 3000 man hours.

58:25 Adam No, but he doesn't. Yeah, he could have built a suspension bridge across the Potomac. He's but here's himself. But here's the thing. Here's the sunk the case on the first 1000 times you beat off. Then the suspension actual steel structure. But here's the old thing.

58:42 Drew Thousand man hours.

58:43 Adam No, no, no. I'll tell you why. Because when the guy's alone, it takes him four minutes because he's on that scale.

58:51 Caller All right.

58:52 Adam Here's step mom coming down the hall.

58:54 Drew You got it.

58:54 Adam You got to move fast.

58:55 Drew So he has to bring himself to that point and then bring her into the action or use her as though she were his hand.

59:03 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

59:05 Drew One or the other? Yeah. No.

59:07 Adam Yeah.

59:07 Drew No.

59:07 Adam Yeah. Let's talk to Brooke. Brooke.

59:11 Caller Yeah.

59:12 Adam So he is. Does he masturbate?

59:15 Caller He will go like a whole week without masturbating.

59:20 Adam Really? He is trying to save something for you.

59:23 Caller Yeah. And I told him. I say, no, masturbate, whack away.

59:28 Caller Don't wait for me.

59:29 Caller Because if I was doing it once a week with him, you know, it's going to take like two hours, you know.

59:36 Drew No. No. No. He is trying to make it quicker by waiting.

59:40 Adam Yeah.

59:41 Caller I mean, I guess because I'm more sexually experienced than he is, I had three other partners before him.

59:47 Adam Well, listen, hold on a second. Drew's coffee mug is more sexually experienced than he is. Everyone is more sexually experienced. He has the same experience as newborns, as experienced as he is sexually before he met you. Well, no, that's all right.

1:00:03 Drew But he's to figure this out.

1:00:05 Adam Here's what you need to do. I think here's where the answer lies. What position does he masturbate in, or did he when he was going through high school?

1:00:16 Caller I think I'm lying down.

1:00:19 Adam Lying on his back?

1:00:21 Caller Yeah.

1:00:21 Adam Then you gotta get on top of him.

1:00:24 Caller Okay.

1:00:25 Adam You understand?

1:00:25 Caller Can you do that? Yeah.

1:00:27 Adam Because he's inverted otherwise.

1:00:30 Caller Oh.

1:00:30 Adam So this guy. Well, but here's the thing. This guy has 2,100 orgasms on his back. You're gonna flip him over like a turtle.

1:00:41 Drew You know what we never talk about or realize is the position preference that people have and why. Why is that?

1:00:48 Adam Well, my dad was a doggy man.

1:00:51 Drew So it's an inherited thing?

1:00:53 Adam And his dad before him.

1:00:54 Drew So it's inherited because he didn't know your dad. You never saw your grandpa.

1:00:58 Adam My dad?

1:00:59 Drew Your grandpa.

1:01:00 Adam Doing it?

1:01:01 Drew Well, you're implying that, you know, I said it was genetic.

1:01:05 Adam Well, no, but we have old photos and there's some portraits. And some great great grandfathers actually in the Civil War and did it.

1:01:15 Drew Is that that thing you got at your house that it's sort of in the there's a silhouette inside. You spin it, it's got little slats on it. And all of a sudden there's grandpa moving.

1:01:23 Adam Yeah, you've got to put a candle in there.

1:01:24 Drew Right, right, right. Yeah. And that's what he's doing. I couldn't make it out.

1:01:27 Adam Well, that's right. That's my great. It's Ulysses Ubangus, something mother's carola. No, you bangers is my mother's maiden name. There's Angus, you bangers. He's a great man. Friendly fire. Got a musket. Trying to free the slaves. But Ulysses and Angus, you bangers were both.

1:01:59 Drew And he was trying to free Amos.

1:02:00 Adam Amos, Ulysses and Angus, you bangers. Oh, great. The whole Ubangus clan. All doggy style men.

1:02:09 Drew And came in through your mom's side, too.

1:02:11 Adam Yeah.

1:02:12 Drew Yeah, it's interesting.

1:02:12 Adam Actually, my one of the.

1:02:14 Drew I thought it was the white chrome or something.

1:02:15 Adam No, no. And, you know, back then, you know, they didn't have, you know, carpeting, you know, with padding and everything. So my my grandfather, you know, he gave me his his knee towel. Oh, oh, yes. Oh, well, you see light through it.

1:02:30 Drew So I thought I thought there was shrapnel on your grandpa's knee.

1:02:33 Adam No, no. That's why he walks with a limp. Yeah. Doggy man from way back then. But, you know, the beds were so high that you couldn't do it up on the bed. So you just had that oak plank floor. Oh, yeah. Oh, a splinter. I didn't have ten.

1:02:46 Drew I thought it was like the side of a ship that came in.

1:02:48 Adam No, it didn't have 10K.

1:02:49 Drew Oh, for God sakes.

1:02:50 Adam Yeah, it didn't have a bunch of polyurethane on it either. It was just tongue oil. It'd take the skin right off your knee.

1:02:57 Caller Yeah.

1:02:59 Drew Anyway, we never talk about it.

1:03:01 Adam No, we never.

1:03:01 Drew But is it interesting how people, I mean, I mean, and Brooks sort of brought this, oh, no, no, no, that's not for me. I don't like that on top stuff. We have other women who's like, man, top, that's it. That's the way I do it.

1:03:10 Adam Yeah.

1:03:10 Drew What is that?

1:03:11 Adam I don't know.

1:03:12 Drew And it's not always about how it feels.

1:03:13 Adam My great uncle Adolf Ubangus, he actually died in the doggy position.

1:03:18 Drew Oh, so all of them.

1:03:21 Adam Yeah. He was so vigorous that they actually knocked a lantern down. And, you know what I mean? It was just a fiery grave. Gustavo?

1:03:27 Drew Ubangus?

1:03:28 Adam Gustavo, Adolf, Angus, his wife, Eunice, Ubangus, all of them. They all perished in the fire.

1:03:40 Drew The fire. The fire. The fire. It's very tragic. Sure.

1:03:44 Adam So vigorous. Like I said, it's just toppled the lantern, the oil went everywhere.

1:03:49 Drew Oh, I thought actually the fridge actually caught the tongue and groove floor.

1:03:52 Caller No, no, please.

1:03:53 Adam I beg your pardon. That's outrageous. All right.

1:03:57 Drew To Brooke. So back to the position, then. Should we explore this a little bit? Yeah.

1:04:01 Adam OK. Yeah. Well, Brooke. Yeah. Brooke?

1:04:06 Caller Yeah.

1:04:07 Adam Yeah. What is your position?

1:04:09 Caller I like doggie style.

1:04:10 Adam Wow. You may be a Ubangus. You're an honorary Ubangus. I'll tell you that right now.

1:04:16 Caller All right.

1:04:17 Adam You only know that's my mother's maiden name.

1:04:21 Caller Yeah. I like doggie style just because it feels better.

1:04:26 Drew It feels better. It's not some sort of experiential thing. It's actually the actual how it feels.

1:04:32 Caller Yeah. Then I just get really into it and it's easier like role play and stuff like that.

1:04:38 Drew See, that's a whole different element. What's the role you're playing? I don't want to talk about that. It's a Civil War act.

1:04:46 Caller It's an old family tradition.

1:04:47 Caller Now we can do the Civil War reenacting.

1:04:50 Drew What do you? Now you piqued my curiosity.

1:04:55 Caller I don't know. I mean, kind of like my boyfriend is very much into like the naughty school girl.

1:05:04 Caller She has to stay after class.

1:05:05 Caller She gets in trouble.

1:05:07 Adam Got to bend someone over a desk.

1:05:09 Caller Wow, Brooke.

1:05:12 Drew Sister Ubangus.

1:05:13 Caller Wow.

1:05:13 Adam That's awesome. Yeah. All right. Well, you want to tell you what's on the Ubangus crest?

1:05:21 Drew I think I know.

1:05:23 Adam Just just a spread ass cheek. Actually facing your front front facing just spread like you're actually using the hands pulling in the light, light coming up. And yeah. And then on on on top is the Mason's pyramid.

1:05:39 Drew So like the light.

1:05:40 Adam Yeah. That's the light coming out of spread cheeks. All right, Brooke.

1:05:45 Drew So you got the advice there. It's you get him. He's got to do what he normally has done by himself and bring you into if he beats off on his back, then you must get on top.

1:05:54 Adam That's where he will find his own again.

1:05:56 Drew Masturbate to the point where he's about to go. And yeah.

1:05:58 Adam But if if you spend all your time masturbating on your back and then all of a sudden you're standing up, it's funky time. All right. Alexis, dancer. Alexis, what's up? What's up?

1:06:13 Caller Well, I used to be a dancer for almost two years. And my first couple of days of dancing, I met someone and actually went out with him and it turned really serious. I was in on and off, kind of broke up and whatever. And basically I have really high standards are the kind of guys I like. And Dr. Drew, kind of for you because your amount of passion like me, I don't really like being with guys. I've been with a lot of people because I've only been with one other person besides the guy I was dating.

1:06:46 Adam And what kind of dancer were you?

1:06:49 Caller Or are you an exotic dancer? I was an exotic dancer.

1:06:53 Adam Topless and bottomless?

1:06:54 Caller Yeah. I was at a nude club, no alcohol.

1:06:57 Adam Oh, what were you doing at a nude club? Not like a temple or something like that. So it was an actual club with nude people. Okay, well, that's good. Not like a Cinnabon or anything at the airport?

1:07:11 Caller No.

1:07:11 Adam Okay. All right. Fantastic. And not like a home for troubled kids or something like that.

1:07:17 Caller No, not at all.

1:07:18 Adam Like a halfway house or a methadone clinic. Okay, awesome.

1:07:21 Drew Coming into focus.

1:07:22 Adam All right, so you're totally nude.

1:07:25 Caller Yeah, it was. Like the lap dances weren't nude, just on stage.

1:07:30 Drew How long were you there for?

1:07:32 Caller A year and a half. I was at a little, almost two years. I was at two different clubs.

1:07:36 Drew But you met somebody right away.

1:07:38 Caller Yeah, like the first two to three days.

1:07:41 Adam What are the two club names? Cause they usually don't disappoint.

1:07:45 Caller Can I just say?

1:07:47 Adam Just say the two club names, yeah.

1:07:48 Caller Okay, Minks and Cheetahs.

1:07:51 Adam What? Minks and Cheetahs. You know, did you ever get over to Ubangus?

1:07:57 Caller No.

1:07:59 Adam All right, that's good. Minks is what they do, like, Minks with an X?

1:08:03 Caller Yeah.

1:08:04 Adam Awesome. And you know what they always do?

1:08:06 Caller They were really little, like little, little, little places, like ten girls top working there.

1:08:12 Adam Let me tell you what happened with strip clubs. Strip clubs are, there are certain businesses that were designed in certain time periods, and that's it. Like every recording studio I've ever been at, every radio station we ever go to was bad 70s ski chalet, crappy rough sawn tongue and grove cedar all over the place. And everything just looks like a Robert Redford movie from the mid 70s.

1:08:35 Drew When did the strip bars come in?

1:08:36 Adam 80s, Miami Vice thing, everyone, it's always neon. It's a lot of pinks and greens and oranges. Yeah, it's very, it's super, you know those like 80s videos where the chicks have too much makeup and they look, they look so like they're going to bite you or just, it all looks like, like sort of mid 80s, Duran Duran porn.

1:08:57 Drew Interesting.

1:08:58 Adam It's sort of Duran Duran meets Miami Vice. It's always like a lot of neon and day glow and the carp, everything's sort of, the carpet is always that sort of a day glow green and orange, sort of black lights and everything. It all looks like 19, the buildings are all the same. Everything was built in 1986.

1:09:17 Drew Interesting.

1:09:18 Adam And then they don't vary at all.

1:09:20 Drew So they need to come up with a new theme.

1:09:22 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Or at least maybe go to 87. Right. Start moving toward the date they're actually at.

1:09:29 Caller Right. Right.

1:09:31 Adam Although by the time you get here, it'll be 225 when you get to 205. But it's weird. They're all. And I guess obviously you can't just put the, you know, the white Berber down.

1:09:42 Drew You have to have that multicolored whatever, because God knows what lands on that car, but it's all sort of sort of harkens to some sort of 1890s brothel, purple velvet, blah, blah.

1:09:53 Adam Yeah, but it's weird. It's weird. Florida. Yeah. You know, it's not old west velvet.

1:10:00 Drew Right. Right.

1:10:01 Adam It's sort of bad dayglow.

1:10:03 Drew Right. Right.

1:10:04 Adam Velvet and neon.

1:10:05 Drew Interesting.

1:10:06 Adam Oh, it's sort of nauseating. You know what it all looks like? It's just like a bad, cheesy Hawaiian cocktail. Everything just seems like the wrong color, weird. You know what I mean? All right.

1:10:19 Drew I have to do something about that.

1:10:20 Adam Yeah.

1:10:21 Drew So anyway.

1:10:21 Adam What's your deal?

1:10:22 Drew Alexis, do you have a question? What's the question, Alexis?

1:10:25 Caller Basically, he's not even a person of all that great character. And he just thinks so little of me because I did that. And I'm noticing more and more people are kind of... Anyone I've ever told about that just looks at me really bad. And I want to eventually be with a really nice guy that hasn't left with more than one or two people. And...

1:10:46 Drew What happened to you that led you down that path? And why is it different now?

1:10:52 Caller As far as why I quit.

1:10:54 Adam What got you into totally new dancing in 19?

1:10:57 Drew Why did you see any boundary? Why were your boundaries so sort of porous?

1:11:03 Caller Well, I'm really smart. You know, I'm going to UCSD, but it's just I was really low on money. My roommate kind of, you know, No, no, no, no, no. I really don't know.

1:11:14 Caller I mean, what kind of family?

1:11:16 Drew What kind of family do you come?

1:11:17 Adam I'll give you two choices. Either you were sexually abused or just dad just abandoned.

1:11:24 Drew And mom was the family was intrusive.

1:11:25 Adam Super abandon dad. Either either he was around, he was drunk all time, and he was always looking at stock quotes or he just took off when you're two.

1:11:34 Caller My parents are okay. It's just that they had joint custody. So I spent one week with my mom and one week with my dad of like almost my whole life. They were kind of like weird, you know, I didn't really get to know either of them all that well. Wow.

1:11:48 Adam Well, what's your dad do for a living?

1:11:50 Caller What does he do?

1:11:51 Caller He's an mediator for the court.

1:11:54 Drew And anything bad ever happened to you growing up? And how old were you when you lost your virginity?

1:11:59 Caller I was married. I waited until I was married. I'm divorced now, obviously. I was a month before I turned 19.

1:12:06 Drew That was when you lost your virginity?

1:12:07 Caller Yeah.

1:12:08 Adam You got married at 18?

1:12:10 Caller Yes, I did.

1:12:12 Adam And how was that guy?

1:12:13 Caller He's great. He's such a nice guy. But I just did it for all the wrong reasons.

1:12:18 Adam Oh, he's a nice guy. He couldn't tolerate it.

1:12:20 Drew Right. You have to have the chaos. So what's your dad like?

1:12:23 Caller My dad? He's a good guy. He's married now. He's just kind of he was always my friend. He wasn't really wasn't your dad. Had to punish me or anything like that. That makes sense.

1:12:34 Adam Yeah.

1:12:34 Drew Yeah. Not a dad.

1:12:36 Adam Not coming together for us, though. There's something going on.

1:12:39 Drew Yeah. Still needs to be things a little worse than you're portraying them to.

1:12:42 Caller My mom's an alcoholic.

1:12:44 Drew There we go. That's coming into focus.

1:12:47 Adam Here we go now. Let's get some abuse now. Let's go. A little sexual abuse. Come on, baby. A little something.

1:12:53 Drew When she was drinking, was she awful?

1:12:56 Caller Yeah. She was a really successful woman. But yeah, she was really bad and she drank.

1:13:00 Drew All right. Well, there we go.

1:13:01 Adam Any evil stepdudes rolling around or bad boyfriends on mom's side?

1:13:07 Caller No. My mom didn't really date.

1:13:10 Adam Just preoccupied.

1:13:11 Drew But the alcoholic.

1:13:13 Caller I was at home a lot by myself.

1:13:15 Adam All right.

1:13:16 Drew Lachki, Abandoned, Alcoholic Abusive Mom, and then it starts to add up. Yeah.

1:13:21 Adam We're making a case. So here's the thing, Alexis, whatever guys you meet, don't give them the whole talk about the exotic dancing over at minks and cheetahs.

1:13:32 Drew If you've changed since those times, you now have boundaries. Maybe you've had some therapy or something and you actually perceive boundaries. You understand why that doesn't feel like such a great idea to go out and do those things because you're short on cash.

1:13:44 Adam But don't tell any new guys about your past. You don't have to, you know, look.

1:13:50 Drew But make sure she's changed. She does actually see boundaries now.

1:13:53 Adam But here's the thing. You not telling people about stuff you did before you met them is not harboring secrets. Unless you have a venereal disease or something, then you have to say something. Whatever you did in the past is your business.

1:14:07 Drew First of all, get rid of this guy you're with.

1:14:09 Adam You've got to get rid of this guy. And then the next thing is don't plan on finding a guy who's had one and a half or under sex partners, especially as he gets into his mid-20s. You're going to have a social retard. As long as he can be faithful and he's a good guy, then he's a good guy. All right, let's take a break. Just want to say hi to Gustavo. I had a great uncle, Gustavo Ubangus, too, so it just reminded me. Gustavo?

1:14:38 Caller Hey, how's it going?

1:14:39 Adam All right, let's take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back after this.

1:14:45 Caller Thank you for calling Loveline.

1:14:47 Caller Your call will be answered in the order it seems interesting.

1:15:07 Adam Yeah, everybody, Loveline, I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Next week, Bobby Brown may be in here. Dag in here tomorrow night.

1:15:17 Drew Nice.

1:15:18 Adam I know him as my main man. You guys know him as David Alan Greer. Rob Zombie's coming up.

1:15:26 Drew Hope for Bobby Brown.

1:15:27 Adam Be awesome.

1:15:29 Drew He's scheduled and sketchy.

1:15:32 Adam Who are we talking to, Drew?

1:15:33 Drew Mike.

1:15:34 Adam Mike. Mike, you're 22.

1:15:37 Caller Yeah. How's it going, guys?

1:15:38 Adam What's up?

1:15:39 Caller Well, basically, I've been with my girlfriend for five years. In the last two years, I've kind of been browsing online. We cannot point and whatnot. And I came across a transsexual website and I'm kind of sexually interested in transsexuals, I guess. I'm just curious if I should question my sexuality.

1:15:57 Drew If you're interested in it.

1:16:00 Adam Yeah. My answer is yes. Yeah.

1:16:04 Drew Well, what's your history? You got some abuse stuff going on?

1:16:07 Caller No, I never knew my dad until he was dead. And basically, I guess he turned out to be homosexual.

1:16:16 Adam That's got to be a rough introduction, too, by the way. Mike, this is your deceased gay dad. Hi, dad. And he shakes his hands, arm falls off.

1:16:25 Drew Oh, nice.

1:16:26 Adam Yeah.

1:16:27 Drew Yeah, it's very vivid.

1:16:28 Adam Yeah, very vivid.

1:16:29 Drew Tough instructions.

1:16:29 Adam Very difficult. So, Mike, here's the thing about this. I don't think it makes you gay, per se. There are a few things that we know, such as cross-dressing or perhaps being attracted to certain people that sound gay, that society makes gay, but doesn't necessarily make you gay. Like cross-dressing guys, I don't even know what percentage of them are gay, but it's not even really that high a percentage, is it?

1:16:57 Drew And this tranny thing is not about sexual orientation so much as...

1:17:01 Adam It makes you effed up. I don't think it makes you gay.

1:17:03 Drew It makes you a little confused about what's attracting you. And that usually means some trauma early on because the things that are terrorizing in childhood become sources of attraction later.

1:17:16 Caller Okay.

1:17:17 Drew And Mike? We lost him.

1:17:20 Caller No, I'm okay.

1:17:20 Drew Are you there?

1:17:21 Caller I'm okay.

1:17:21 Caller Yeah, I'm okay.

1:17:22 Drew All right, so...

1:17:23 Caller As far as I know, I didn't have any sexual abuse or anything. Nothing that I can remember.

1:17:28 Drew Did we expose the pornography at a young age?

1:17:32 Caller No, I mean the random, you know, check the videotape and the mom's VCR and find something like that.

1:17:38 Drew How old were you when that happened?

1:17:40 Caller It's probably like 13, 14.

1:17:42 Drew No, no, no.

1:17:43 Adam Some people, too... I'm gonna hang up because I'm getting my feedback. Some people have a crazy curiosity when it comes to all things that seem... that make no sense to sane people. And for me, it's those sort of, hey, man, there's a videotape of a guy being eaten by an ostrich. It's awesome. Well, it's not really guys, like a 13-year-old kid, but he gets killed, man. He gets hit by a train. He gets sucked in the inlet of a jet. There's that. And you go, no, I really don't want to see that.

1:18:19 Drew But then what becomes sexual to people... My experience has been when people have weird sexual sort of preoccupations, there's usually a little smattering of addiction there. Like they need high levels of arousal to feel sexual. And I don't know if that's because their reward system has been dialed in by drugs, let's ask him if he's got it.

1:18:39 Adam But then what about those guys, like people do that, this or this, come here, the computer, yeah, what's up? This chick, man, when she has an orgasm, crap comes out of her. It's like, I got enough trouble beating off, just from fear factor. I don't need to add this to my, I don't need another thing in my hopper. I don't need to see anyone get run over by commuter trains. I don't see a guy get his leg amputated with a chainsaw. I don't need some chick who defecates when she, you know what I mean?

1:19:06 Drew But let's ask Mike, because that's, A, the arousal thing is an addict thing, and then to sort of need more is something that happens when you've been addicted.

1:19:14 Adam Mike?

1:19:15 Caller Yes.

1:19:15 Adam You got the addict thing?

1:19:18 Caller Well, I mean, yeah, I masturbate pretty much.

1:19:22 Drew No, no, no, I don't mean masturbation. I mean, you've been addicted to a drug.

1:19:26 Caller I'm not addicted, no, I messed around a little bit, but nothing good.

1:19:31 Drew Is it in your family? Is there alcoholism in your family?

1:19:34 Caller Alcoholism, yes.

1:19:36 Drew Yeah, I usually see this go along with the alcoholism thing.

1:19:39 Adam All right.

1:19:40 Drew And so, you know.

1:19:41 Adam All right, so here's the thing, Mike. I don't think you're gay, and I don't think you're anything, but you're on the cusp of sort of stepping into a weird world that you might get sucked into.

1:19:50 Drew If he'd been sexually abused or something, we'd be saying, well, you know, this is that. But this may just be the arousal thing that addicts get into sometimes.

1:19:56 Adam Yeah.

1:19:57 Drew They just get into this extreme everything, extreme sports, extreme sex, they just need that high level of arousal.

1:20:04 Adam Right. Where's that like to be left alone?

1:20:07 Drew Indeed you do.

1:20:08 Adam Even sexually. Nikita?

1:20:11 Caller Yeah. Hello?

1:20:12 Adam 21?

1:20:14 Caller Yes.

1:20:15 Adam What's up?

1:20:17 Caller I actually, I have a question since you were talking about orgasm. I, when I use my vibrator, I can have, I don't know whether it's all one orgasm or whether it's a bunch over and over again, because I get, you know, where you get to the peak, and then I have like a two or three second period in between where I, you know, it's like you come down and then I can have another orgasm, and I can do that like 40 times in a row. And I'm wondering if it's all one orgasm.

1:20:51 Drew No, no, that is a, that is, you are someone who is, that is what multiple orgasm is. It's repetitive, recurrent orgasms without refractoriness.

1:21:00 Adam Do you, this is with a guy?

1:21:03 Caller No, no, no way.

1:21:05 Drew Oh, how dare you, how dare you? Of course you do, the guy.

1:21:08 Adam Sorry for insulting you.

1:21:09 Drew What if the guy brought, what if the guy used the vibrator?

1:21:14 Caller No, because it's a certain, it's a certain spot, and it's different. Every single interval, it's a slightly different spot. And it's like, I'm the only one who could know where it is.

1:21:27 Adam Listen, I've said this, I've said this many times. There is, you guys are a make of car for which there's no manual. You know what I mean? Like, where?

1:21:38 Drew Like a car that changes morphs every day.

1:21:40 Adam That's what it is.

1:21:41 Drew Oh, is that my car or is that my car?

1:21:43 Adam Well, but here's the thing. Here's what guys are. Guys, guys are 98% just a Taurus wagon, you know? No, I know. But here's what I'm saying. There's a manual. It's not very complicated. We're all the same. There's 5% or some weird fiat or something. You can't figure those are the gays, really. I like the convertibles. You can't figure them out. You don't want to. But we're all very easy. You guys are as if car companies just put out one car and then close, broke all the molds, close the line and then design another one and crap that one out.

1:22:20 Drew Every day.

1:22:20 Adam There's no parts. There's no manual. We don't know. Everything's different. And it's like on this. Oh, no, no. Engines in the rear. Oh, the last one I had, I had popped the hood. No, no. There's a rear. Oh, but it's front wheel drive. No, no, no. Rear wheel drive. But I had a front wheel. The stick shifts in a different place. The cigarette lighter is different. The wiper knobs are different. Everything's different.

1:22:41 Drew Like I said, I have a show tonight on Discovery Health Channel about orgasm. And the majority of the show is about the differences amongst the female orgasm. And that particular show.

1:22:49 Adam Let me say this, Drew, I'm walking.

1:22:51 Drew You're done?

1:22:52 Adam I'm walking.

1:22:53 Drew You're done. Well, here's a different show. I actually brought in a geneticist. And what he says is the X chromosome, first of all, is huge. It's a lot of material on it. I don't care.

1:23:01 Adam I'm on foot.

1:23:01 Drew Hang on a second. Women have two X chromosomes. And the men. I don't care if they have a hundred.

1:23:05 Adam I got my thumb out, baby.

1:23:06 Drew What makes us a man is the Y chromosome. And it's a tiny piece of genetic material. It's actually decaying. So it's making us male.

1:23:13 Adam Believe me. Believe me. I know these guys I hang out with can't change your own car tire.

1:23:18 Drew Right. The Y chromosome is becoming, what makes us male is less and less diverse. What makes people female is a tremendously diverse genetic material.

1:23:27 Adam Because of the X-X.

1:23:29 Drew Yes. And the X is a huge chromosome with lots of different material on it. The Y is essentially the same for all men and that's what makes the men. So men come out the same basically.

1:23:39 Adam Because we have a component.

1:23:40 Drew Yeah. Well, it's just that the man component is a very simple component while the female one is very diverse, woman to woman.

1:23:49 Adam It's like if we were a dessert, we would just be ice cream and there's cream and there's sugar and you blend it up and there's a little different flavors and stuff, but it's all ice cream. Women, it's just desserts. You don't know if it's pastries or fingers or pie or cake or it's all something. Cupcake.

1:24:04 Drew Sugar from the cactus.

1:24:05 Adam It's all, yeah, Mexican sauce. All something. It's different. Everything's different. Don't even know what you're getting.

1:24:12 Caller Or Tiramisu, Adam.

1:24:14 Drew Napoleon.

1:24:14 Adam Tiramisu, yeah. That's you, baby.

1:24:17 Caller Yeah.

1:24:18 Adam All right, let's take ourselves. The engineer's Rochelle. She's a nice, like, flan. All right, let's take ourselves a break.

1:24:30 Drew Let's do.

1:24:31 Adam We'll be back after this.

1:24:33 Caller Hello, this is your radio.

1:24:35 Loveline will be r-

1:24:56 Caller Yeah, everybody, it's Loveline.

1:25:00 Adam That's Dr. Drew. We sometimes go by Ace.

1:25:04 Drew Yeah, we've got a blast from the past on the line here. We have Gustavo Ubangus.

1:25:08 Adam Gold?

1:25:09 Drew Old Gustavo.

1:25:09 Adam Wow, but this is-

1:25:10 Drew Uncle Gustavo.

1:25:11 Adam This is Gustavo Ubangus III, I don't believe this.

1:25:15 Drew Maybe.

1:25:15 Adam Yeah.

1:25:16 Drew Let's say.

1:25:16 Adam Some people call him Tripp Ubangus. Because you know, it's Tripp.

1:25:22 Drew Yeah, of course.

1:25:22 Adam Yeah. Go ahead, Tripp.

1:25:26 Caller How are you guys doing?

1:25:28 Adam What's happened?

1:25:29 Drew We're good.

1:25:29 Adam Yeah.

1:25:30 Caller What's going on? I can say about three years ago, I met this chick. Been dating ever since about a month and a half ago, we broke up. But when we started dating, we started having sex, unprotected sex, and contracted an STD from her. And I got HPV. And my question was, how easily susceptible is it when being involved with somebody else? I've been hesitant to get involved with somebody else, hesitant on how to bring it across to somebody else.

1:26:02 Adam Did you ever have a breakout? Did you get warts?

1:26:06 Caller Yeah, I ended up getting a breakout and I had them frozen off. Went to the doctor, they fixed it.

1:26:13 Drew What's hard to predict is some viruses, some of the wart virus sticks around for about three to five years, then goes away on its own, others persist through time. All of them, when you have them, are highly contagious. If you have asexual encounter, you will pass it unless you wear a condom, that would reduce the risk rather substantially.

1:26:29 Caller As well as orally, as well as vaginally?

1:26:32 Drew No, you don't have it in your mouth, do you?

1:26:34 Adam What about receiving oral?

1:26:36 Caller So, yeah, receiving oral.

1:26:38 Drew Yeah, there's talk about that. I've never seen that.

1:26:41 Adam How long ago did you get it?

1:26:43 Caller This was three years ago, and pretty much, I say within the first year that we found out we had it.

1:26:50 Adam When was your last outbreak?

1:26:52 Caller That time. So, it's been two years since I've had an outbreak.

1:26:56 Adam So, Drew, is there anything, not definitive, not 100%, but if he hasn't had an outbreak in a couple of years?

1:27:04 Caller Yes.

1:27:06 Adam First off, is there any examination that would be worth even making a trip to the doctor's office for?

1:27:11 Drew Yeah, there's the thing I gave you, where you pour a quarter percent acetic acid on the penis.

1:27:15 Caller A quarter.

1:27:16 Adam It felt like 75%.

1:27:17 Drew And then you look at it under what's called a woodslight, which is sort of a neon light, black light. Right. And you can see the kind of pre-wart kinds of lesions, and at least if you had that, you know, you're definitely contagious. If you don't have that, it mitigates against that a little bit.

1:27:31 Adam Would you, I, by the way, didn't have it, thank you, and won $100 from Dr. Drew. Would you, that's got a confidence I have in my penis, we did on the radio.

1:27:40 Drew Stunt penis.

1:27:41 Adam Would you recommend a guy like Gustavo, who's been dry for a couple of years, go in and see if he can find some.

1:27:48 Drew Yeah, we would not see a dermatologist and would not be a bad thing to do.

1:27:51 Adam How about some vinegar and a black light?

1:27:53 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:27:54 Adam Probably could, right?

1:27:55 Drew Probably could, but he wouldn't know what he's looking for, though.

1:27:57 Adam He'd see a dingleberry and burn it off with a soldering iron.

1:28:01 Caller Right.

1:28:01 Adam Yeah.

1:28:02 Drew And the other thing is you got to wear condoms. You realize, Gustavo, that 50 percent of the women you come in contact with will already have this.

1:28:09 Caller No.

1:28:10 Drew Yes.

1:28:10 Caller No.

1:28:11 Adam Yes. No.

1:28:12 Drew Yes.

1:28:12 Adam No.

1:28:13 Drew Very common.

1:28:14 Adam Very common. Yeah.

1:28:16 Drew By the way, it's going to be a war virus. There's going to be a vaccine for this very shortly.

1:28:19 Adam Oh, what do I care? I'm clean, baby. I hope they never come up with one. All you people.

1:28:24 Caller I'm going to put you guys on islands.

1:28:27 Caller What's that? I think you were talking about what they called what I should request.

1:28:30 Drew Just say I just see a dermatologist. Just go see a dermatologist. They'll know what to do.

1:28:34 Adam Yeah. Tell them to pop out the wood slide.

1:28:37 Drew Wood slide.

1:28:37 Adam Yeah. If you could get a little wood for the wood slide, that'd be nice.

1:28:40 Drew No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

1:28:42 Adam Stretch your skin out a little.

1:28:43 Drew That'd be weird.

1:28:43 Adam Okay. Did they ever examine erect penises for anything? There's got to be something where they punch them up with something and have to take a look at them. Probably for when they're shot or something.

1:28:55 Drew No, more like when they're repairing after a fracture and stuff. Oh, right.

1:29:00 Adam Oh, yeah. Wow. A little test drive. Awesome. Bill?

1:29:06 Caller Speaking of erect penises.

1:29:08 Adam Yeah, Bill. What's up?

1:29:10 Caller Adam.

1:29:11 Adam Corolla.

1:29:13 Caller Yeah. I'm able to, it's embarrassing, go down on myself.

1:29:19 Adam Yeah, it's too bad. I know it's humiliating, but it's important that you be truthful when you're talking on the radio and you're calling in, waiting on hold for half an hour to announce to the world you blow yourself.

1:29:31 Caller I guess my question is, does it make me gay?

1:29:34 Drew Oh, yeah, definitely.

1:29:37 Adam This one is vexed man for many years. Jimmy and I used to get in this argument with Kevin and Bean over here on K-Rock, which is, I always claimed, and Jimmy says, it doesn't make you gay. If you could detach your penis, would you give yourself oral sex and would that make you gay? Those guys say no, but I mean, they say no, it makes you gay. They wouldn't do it. I wouldn't finish myself off, but I would definitely get myself started. But on the other hand, you never know what I'm going to pop, you know, so I'd have to be very careful. Very careful.

1:30:13 Drew There's more I can deal with.

1:30:15 Adam Yeah.

1:30:18 Drew Discovery Health Channel Midnight.

1:30:19 Adam Does that make you gay, Drew? What do you think?

1:30:21 Drew No, that does not make you gay.

1:30:22 Adam What if? I mean, what just, but it makes you, makes you weird, right? Makes you something.

1:30:29 Drew Yeah, it makes you weird.

1:30:30 Adam Here's the whole thing about giving oral to yourself. You don't, you know, you got to bend over in a weird way.

1:30:36 Caller Yeah.

1:30:37 Adam Can you really get at your junk?

1:30:40 Caller Well, I have to sit on a mason jar and then...

1:30:42 Drew There we go. Okay.

1:30:43 Caller Hey, guys.

1:30:44 Drew Yeah.

1:30:45 Caller Drew, I ate. My wife and I are on your show in August. I just, huge fan, 10 years, had to finally get through your screeners. Kudos to them. We're on your TV show. We had to get one here in Tapus. In August. And just wanted to say thanks and good times.

1:31:01 Drew Great.

1:31:02 Caller What did you do on the show? It's about the masturbation episode.

1:31:07 Drew Very good.

1:31:07 Adam He blew himself.

1:31:09 Drew Thanks, Bill.

1:31:10 Caller Mazel Tov.

1:31:12 Drew In August, we did that.

1:31:13 Caller Wow.

1:31:13 Drew I've been working on this that long.

1:31:16 Adam I mean, it's airs in August.

1:31:18 Drew Oh, airs in August. Okay. Got it. Okay. I think I know who Bill is.

1:31:21 Adam Yeah. We're not in August.

1:31:21 Drew Fantastic. Bill, thank you very much. You're very, very helpful, actually.

1:31:24 Adam I'm thinking of saying it airs in August. Yeah, yeah.

1:31:26 Drew That makes more sense.

1:31:27 Adam Okay, Drew, why don't I know more about your show?

1:31:28 Drew Because you know everything.

1:31:29 Adam Yeah. Shelby? No, I know nothing about your show. I just know, I know everyone's inflection and I know what they mean.

1:31:35 Drew That's what I mean.

1:31:35 Adam Okay. Go ahead, Shelby. 22.

1:31:38 Caller Long time listener, first time caller.

1:31:40 Adam Thanks.

1:31:41 Caller It's a pleasure to talk to you too.

1:31:43 Adam Well, it's a delight to talk to you, Shelby, in an honor.

1:31:47 Caller Thank you. Even though you're back on Portland a lot, I accept it in the way it was given. Drew, I had a question for you.

1:31:54 Adam Hold on.

1:31:55 Drew We don't back on Portland, I don't think.

1:31:56 Adam Back on Portland?

1:31:57 Drew We like Portland.

1:31:58 Adam What do I ever say bad about Portland?

1:31:59 Drew I don't know. Maybe back in Oregon or something.

1:32:03 Adam What do I say about Portland?

1:32:05 Caller Just you back on a lot of the tweakers and the masks, but I have to agree with you.

1:32:11 Adam Are you sure? You may be talking about lichens or something.

1:32:16 Caller You may be right.

1:32:17 Adam I never say anything about Portland, other than I'd probably like to move there one day.

1:32:21 Drew Yeah, Portland, Seattle would be like. Anyway, what's the deal?

1:32:23 Caller Question about pregnancy tests. The difference between a urinary and a blood test, the reliability. My girlfriend went in for a blood pregnancy test the day before she had gastric bypass surgery and it came up negative. And a few weeks later, three weeks after the surgery, she was six and a half weeks along.

1:32:46 Drew Wow.

1:32:48 Caller And we're not getting answers as far as, I'm sorry I had to fib to the call taker a bit, but this question has been shot down like four times that I've called in.

1:32:57 Drew Wow. So the deal is.

1:32:59 Caller The reliability of the pregnancy test.

1:33:01 Drew The blood pregnancy test.

1:33:02 Caller Yes.

1:33:04 Drew Well, it depends on what your placenta is producing and what's, you know, right, then these are very accurate tests.

1:33:09 Adam By the way, it says on the screen, false negative through blood tests. It doesn't, it doesn't.

1:33:14 Caller More of questioning about what, what the effects of the surgery itself may have also had on the baby.

1:33:20 Drew Yeah.

1:33:20 Caller They're not giving us any answers either.

1:33:21 Drew Well, they won't, how, what can they say? They may have, may have had a fit. They won't know until we get through this. Maybe nothing, but it's a concern, obviously.

1:33:29 Adam How, how has your girlfriend been losing a lot of weight?

1:33:32 Caller She's been, I think she's lost about 25, 30 pounds since the surgery, but now she's so nauseous and not eating, so she's gone into starvation mode, so she's not losing any weight because of the morning sickness. She's not eating anything to give that sense of being full, so she's, her body's stopped dropping pounds.

1:33:51 Adam I'm no nutritionist or a mathematician, but if you stop eating, eventually you're going to lose weight.

1:33:55 Drew Yes, absolutely.

1:33:56 Adam I am, like I said, I don't work at a gym.

1:33:59 Drew I think what he's saying is it's gone into starvation modes, the body gets, tries to conserve a little bit.

1:34:03 Adam A little bit.

1:34:04 Drew It does, but listen, there's no such thing as a test that's 100 percent. There really is not. So any test can have error in it, whether it's human error or actually error in the assay. Pregnancy tests, yeah, they can be false negatives and false positives. It happens. Rare, but it happens.

1:34:19 Adam Take a break, we'll be right back.

1:34:30 Caller 1-877-889-DATE Hey, yeah, well, there you go.

1:34:55 Adam Dagaroni in tomorrow night.

1:34:57 Drew And please don't forget Discovery Health Channel right now.

1:35:00 Adam Dag, one of the greatest living black comedians currently working at the scene, you know? So he'll be in tomorrow night. There you go.

1:35:10 Drew There he is.

1:35:10 Adam And until next time, this Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo. Here's the deal. Don't get the guy pregnant, and then, I mean, don't get you pregnant. Don't let the guy.

1:35:20 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:35:24 Adam The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

Episode Feedback

Wednesday, June 29, 2005