Episode 1000717390113

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

1:01 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:07 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline. With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:20 Voiceover Hey, everybody. Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Dagg was going to be in here tonight. David Allen Carolla.

1:35 Drew That's him.

1:37 Adam Also known as my main man. I was going to be in Hawaii tonight, and Dagg was going to fill in for me, and then I decided not to go to Hawaii, so Dagg decided not to come in.

1:48 Drew Exactly.

1:49 It's his birthday.

1:50 Drew It's his birthday, his girlfriend's in town for one day. What's he going to do?

1:53 Adam He doesn't have girlfriends. He has prostitutes.

1:56 Drew Well, she's just here for one day.

1:58 Adam Well, he's just going to pay her for another day, and she'll stay another day. You can have him for a month if you want to.

2:03 Drew You know how they have those porn star weekends and things? He only gets it for one day.

2:07 Adam All right. He is a messed up dude.

2:11 Drew Oh, God.

2:12 Adam He kids about it, but boy, he is a mess.

2:15 Drew Come now. Come now.

2:16 Adam Now you know what I'm saying.

2:17 Drew How dare you?

2:18 Adam No, he's smart. Our friend? I love the guy.

2:23 Drew I saw him on Conan a couple of nights ago and he was sort of discussing a new show. He was on a Broadway. I thought, wow, he got the part. Remember when I ran into him in New York and we flew back together? And it closed about three days later. Oh. It's called Mambo. And he said one of the reviews called it Mambo Bombo.

2:42 Wow.

2:43 Drew That's very encouraging.

2:45 Adam I did the first the first thing I ever got reviewed, some sketch comedy thing. It the director's name was Mark Sweeney. It the first like eight words were Mark Sweeney's bloodless conception is dead on arrival. As first I've been swinging a hammer for like nine years as a first review had ever been written. I thought, wow, here it goes. This is rough. It's on. And it's been minus four stars ever since.

3:16 Drew So much that means.

3:19 Adam Deadless bloodless conception is dead on. Wasn't it was a sketch comedy thing. Wasn't like a revival of Frankenstein or something like that. It was just it was just sketch comedy, sketch comedy. True. I don't even know where the bloodless conception part. Right. That was awesome. And also it was it was that horrible rag. I think LA. Weekly. Yeah. Super lefty communist paper. Nothing but advertisements for like futons and boob jobs in the back. Yeah, I don't know. And then a long story about Nancy Reagan being one of the original Sandinistas or something, you know, in the cover. It's awesome. And great, great journalism. But and they just the two things I remember about this review was was that first line. And then somewhere in the body of the story, it said, it said, the only thing that was good about the thing was Adam Corolla. Oh, that's it. I was like, oh, fantastic. Well, I felt good about that. And then it went on to make a point and a little lesson on creative writing, which is good comedy is not banged out on a typewriter. It is honed at the workshop using one of my sketches as an example of good comedy, which was honed at the workshop, except for it was banged out on a typewriter by guys that I got an idea for a bit and I just told him to go home and write it and he went home and wrote it. We never did it in the thing. So that's all you need to know about reviews and reviewers in these rags, which is, here's your shining example of the only thing that's good about the show. Here's why it was good, except for is the exact opposite of those reasons you said.

4:54 Drew That's right, the reality is the exact opposite.

4:55 Adam Now everything else was banged out in, everything else was honed in the workshop, but the one that was banged out on the typewriter, it was the one I told John McCann, John go bang this on the typewriter.

5:08 Drew Ned Heem?

5:09 Adam Skipper Ned Heem. Andrew?

5:13 Yeah.

5:13 Adam You're 19?

5:14 Caller Ace Rockolla.

5:15 Adam What's happening?

5:17 Good evening guys. I have a question for the passionate Dr. Drew, actually.

5:21 Caller All right.

5:22 Out of interest lately, I've been reading about retrograde ejaculation. I've heard that it can be self-induced.

5:28 Drew Hold on a second. Out of interest?

5:31 Well, I've heard about it and then I was curious because it said that you can learn how to induce it as a means of contraception.

5:39 Drew No, don't do that.

5:41 Adam Nobody said that.

5:42 Well, have you heard of any incidence of this? Is this physiologically possible?

5:45 Drew Yeah. You push under your perineum and you can send stuff back in your bladder, but it's not reliable. Stuff kind of leaks forward.

5:52 Adam Nobody said this is a form of contraception, except for maybe some of the J.O.'s on the internet.

5:58 Drew Well, no, you know what it is, the people that want to retain their chi.

6:02 Adam Who said this was a form of contraception?

6:05 Actually, Drew nailed it right there. In fact, black is on the internet. In fact, they say that ill-advised is difficult to unlearn.

6:14 Drew Well, not only unlearn, but it's not what's meant to happen.

6:18 Adam What do you mean difficult to unlearn? You mean to stop?

6:20 Drew It might start happening spontaneously, yeah.

6:23 Adam If you put pressure on your perineum or your taint, as it were, for 100 times, and then didn't use your hand for the 101st time, nothing would come out?

6:33 Drew It's possible.

6:34 Adam Really?

6:34 Drew Well, you can cause narrowing and stricturing in that area. Yeah, cause of irritation, inflammation.

6:39 Adam What about people who sneeze and sort of grab their nose? If you did that 100 times, but if you moved your hands, it's not bubble would come out, the 101st?

6:47 Drew Yeah, but there's no valve there like there is down in the prostate area.

6:50 Adam No, really?

6:50 Drew Let me get my thing out again.

6:51 Adam No, I don't want to see your thing out.

6:52 Here you go.

6:52 Adam Put your penis away.

6:53 Drew No, no, not that thing.

6:54 Adam Andrew.

6:55 Caller Probably a bad idea then, huh?

6:56 Adam I don't monkey. Don't monkey.

6:58 Drew Not a horrible idea, but not a great idea.

7:00 Adam Well, look, here's the thing. Anything that's trying to come out of your body that you stop from coming out right when it's about to come out?

7:06 Drew Bad idea.

7:06 Adam Bad idea. It's OK to not sneeze and it's OK not to ejaculate, but at that second where you're doing it, don't pinch anything off.

7:18 Drew That's the ejaculatory duct right there. Is that the thing? Now you're pushing up on that thing. Sending you pushing.

7:25 Adam How long the penis is?

7:27 Drew Well, that's way up inside the bias where you put the...

7:29 Adam See, that's why I'm counting that, right?

7:31 Drew That's why you put the ruler right there.

7:33 Adam How much?

7:34 Drew Well... That's where it starts.

7:36 Adam Yes, as you know, I believe the penis is measured from the center of the anus.

7:41 Drew Look.

7:41 Adam Yeah. Center of the anus to just beyond the tip.

7:45 Drew Well, that's a little license there.

7:48 Adam All right, let's go, buddy.

7:49 Drew All right.

7:49 Adam Yeah. Sonia?

7:52 Guest Hi.

7:53 Adam Hey.

7:54 Guest How are you?

7:55 Guest I have a question.

7:56 Guest I think I might be a sex addict.

7:58 Drew Really?

7:59 Guest Yeah.

8:00 Drew What's happening?

8:02 Guest Well, I've lost my virginity when I was 12.

8:06 Guest Yeah.

8:07 Guest And since then, I've had sex with 13 guys and numerous girls.

8:11 Oh.

8:13 Adam How old was the guy you lost your virginity to?

8:16 15.

8:19 Drew Were you sexually abused growing up?

8:20 Guest No.

8:21 Drew Do you have any alcoholism in your family?

8:24 Guest Not that I know of.

8:25 Adam She just runs hot.

8:26 Drew Yeah. This, I think, is more sort of what we might call acting out at your age than necessarily addiction. Have you been depressed?

8:36 Guest Yeah. For a while. For about, yeah, about five years now.

8:39 Drew Since you started all this sexual activity. That is one of the things, one of the, sometimes one of the manifestations of depression, or bipolar depression even, is bad grades, truancy, sexual acting out, all that in a person your age may be a sign of depression. But, you know, 17 year olds don't always get sad and cry. They may feel kind of depressed, but then they sort of, what's called, act out their feelings. They go and do all these crazy things. And that's more a sign of the depression than anything else. You really don't meet the usual criteria for sexual addiction. And I dare say I'd be hard-breast to label somebody with sexual addiction under the age of 18.

9:12 Adam Well, really?

9:13 Drew Yeah, it'd be tough.

9:13 Adam Why?

9:14 Drew It's tough. First of all, you'd have to see the history of sexual abuse, have to see the history of family history of addiction.

9:19 Adam I'd say what's tough are over 50.

9:22 Drew Yeah, it's going to be a thing you're working on, though.

9:24 Adam Yeah, but you just don't want to label it. No, no.

9:26 Caller It's like great grandma.

9:27 Adam Come on, that's enough.

9:28 Drew Yeah.

9:28 Adam Please.

9:29 Drew Yeah.

9:30 Adam Hey, Sonia.

9:31 Drew Yeah.

9:32 Adam Also, Drew, isn't it easier, like when you start, you get in that sort of little shame spiral, everything becomes easier. Like, you're on a diet and you break your diet and eat a donut. The second one's easier, the third one's even easier, and then your sixth one, you almost have to eat.

9:50 Drew It's like, there's this momentum.

9:52 Adam Yeah, there's a weird human thing, which is when you start screwing up, and it's interesting, which is, OK, you're on this diet of, you know, you're not going to have any sex or you're not going to whatever. Then you slip up and screw up and then you start feeling shame. And then you just have this weekend.

10:10 Drew Right.

10:10 Adam Or it's binge.

10:11 Drew Shame. Shame is what generates the desire to do more. And doing more creates more shame. And you get in this sort of spiral of activity.

10:18 Adam Right. It's a weird thing. It's sort of like, I mean, everything is this way. It's like you're gambling and you lose. So you think I'm going to make it up on this hand and then you lose that. And then you freak out and bet more. But really what you need to do is just walk away.

10:32 Drew Yes, exactly.

10:33 Adam But it's like it's sort of like unsatisfying, like as it is, it pertains to like something like dieting. Like you're on this diet, you break your diet, eat a donut. All right. Well, I ate one donut. I'm going to stop and get back on my diet. Somehow it doesn't feel like you've learned anything or done anything.

10:47 Drew Or you've activated a drive. Now you've brought the drive on. It's created cravings. The whole system is active right now. You're just going with it.

10:55 Adam Is that sort of what alcoholism is?

10:57 Drew Absolutely.

10:58 Adam Because the people you know in life who slip up, eat the donut and go, well, that was a mistake, but tomorrow I'll eat a salad. They don't seem to ever have any real problems, do they?

11:08 Drew Right.

11:08 Adam They just they're back to salad. They put on three ounces that shed the next afternoon. Right.

11:13 Caller Right.

11:14 Adam People don't really realize it's the fifth one. It's not the first one that causes the problem.

11:19 Drew But it's beside the point. They're into this sort of momentum. It has a drive. The drives are active and they're hard to resist.

11:28 Adam Jesse?

11:29 Guest Yeah.

11:30 Adam Sixteen?

11:31 Guest Yeah.

11:32 Drew All right.

11:32 Adam So what does Sonya need to do? Just stop?

11:34 Drew Sonya needs to get her depression treated. She needs to see a doctor. She lives in Pasadena. Lots of go over to Los Encinas and get it checked out.

11:40 Adam Jesse?

11:41 Guest You need to see someone because you can always stop yourself.

11:46 Adam What's that, Jesse?

11:47 Drew Yeah. You need to choose to stop. That heroin you're doing, you just got to stop yourself.

11:51 Adam Wow.

11:51 Drew Just stop it straight.

11:52 Adam I'm on speed now.

11:53 Drew Well, the speed just stop that straight out.

11:55 Adam What's that saying, Jesse?

11:57 Drew Addiction is just you.

11:58 Guest It's not like anybody's holding a gun to her head saying, you need to have sex.

12:02 Adam That's true. That's true. Wow. But I believe that everything happens for a reason.

12:07 Drew Yeah. How much do you?

12:09 Adam It is what it is. I'll tell you that.

12:12 Drew And people that die, to break their diets, you just stop.

12:15 Adam Jesse 16, she's from Iowa. She knows what she's talking about. What's going on, Jesse? You're bisexual?

12:22 Guest Well, I think I am. And I haven't told my parents, which they're actually in the other room. So I've got to be really quiet.

12:28 Drew Why would you tell your parents?

12:31 Guest Because it's really uncomfortable, like going somewhere and checking out a girl. And then my mom kind of gives me weird looks.

12:37 Adam Yeah.

12:39 Drew Adam's mom used to bug him when he checked out girls, too.

12:42 Adam If we had actually gone anywhere ever, that could have come up.

12:45 Drew But yeah.

12:46 Adam Well, once in a while I'd be sitting in a crappy living room and a hot chick would walk through.

12:51 Drew Or on TV.

12:52 Adam Oh yeah, actually on TV. Yeah, yeah, on Mod. Adrienne Barbeau was hot. Yeah, I remember her. Yeah, we did. Yeah, it's kind of hard to tell black and white. The diagonal was kind of screwed up and rolled a little bit. But I could see those big jugs. Yeah, Jesse. All right. What's up? Who are you angry at? Tell your mom.

13:10 Caller Traveling with your mom.

13:11 Guest Mom, it's more or less my stepdad because he always accuses me of being like a rug muncher and goes around the house and calls me a lesbian and everything.

13:20 Drew The perfect way to get back at him is to become one.

13:22 Adam What's up with your stepdad?

13:24 Drew Yeah.

13:25 Guest He's just kind of an ass.

13:26 Drew Kind of.

13:28 Adam How long has he been around?

13:30 Guest About three years.

13:32 Drew Who?

13:33 Adam Where's real dad?

13:35 Guest I have no clue.

13:37 Adam Chucking.

13:39 Guest As far as I know, he's probably somewhere selling crack right now.

13:42 Drew That's nice.

13:43 Adam Okay. A fondness for the man. Did he leave when you were a baby?

13:49 Guest Yeah. He used to abuse my mom.

13:52 Caller Chucking.

13:54 Adam All right. So, Jessie, you got problems, baby.

13:57 Drew Right.

13:58 Adam But the good news is you just pick yourself up by your own bootstraps and touch yourself off and take care of it.

14:02 Guest That's pretty much it. It's just I want to get everything out in the open so I don't have to sit here and constantly lie.

14:08 Drew Well, what are you lying about?

14:09 Adam What are you lying about? It's your own business.

14:12 Guest Well, when my parents accuse me of it, I always tell them, no, I don't look at girls and everything, and I do.

14:17 Adam Oh, they don't accuse you. They're not serious about that.

14:21 Guest Well, my stepdad's very serious, actually. He's announced it to people just to humiliate me.

14:27 Adam No, he has not. He has not. Let me tell you something about angry girls. Let me explain. I know this syndrome well. I grew up with one. Dad screws them over. And then any man who comes in to whatever, somebody says, hey, I'll see you in gym class. They heard you've got a fat ass you need to work out. Right. That's all. They just hear horrible things from men from that point on because original dad broke their heart. And look, here's the deal. What those guys need to do, actually, my stepdad was smart. He never talked to anyone. At least that way, never actually could get accused of saying something.

15:04 Drew But that's where he developed that habit, I suspect.

15:06 Adam Of what?

15:07 Drew Of just not talking.

15:08 Adam Yeah, it was probably smart. My sister probably taught him that. Jesse?

15:11 Guest Yeah.

15:13 Adam Look, you're a mess, baby. And you don't need to get, you don't need to come clean with anybody about your bisexuality.

15:21 Drew Absolutely not. It's more chaos.

15:22 Adam It's your business. Do you masturbate?

15:24 Guest Yeah.

15:26 Adam Why don't you tell them about that too?

15:28 Guest Okay. Thank you.

15:29 Adam All right, goofball. Have fun. Listen, don't get pregnant. Don't get pregnant. Don't get pregnant.

15:34 Drew To hear it?

15:35 Adam That's all you got to do. All righty.

15:37 Drew What are you using for birth control?

15:38 Adam Who cares? Listen, look, Jesse's a mess, her dad's in a hole. What are you going to do? I know no child left behind, but let's get serious. All we can do, I'm telling you, with Jesse, just don't get pregnant. That's about it. I would consider that.

15:54 Drew Triumph.

15:56 Adam Bigger than a triumph. I would consider like her being president. You know what I mean?

16:01 Drew Yeah.

16:02 Adam I really would. If she could not get pregnant by.

16:05 Drew 26.

16:07 Adam Oh no.

16:07 24?

16:09 Adam No.

16:09 Drew 22.

16:10 Adam 21, 22. I would say. No, I mean, because the over under right now is 18, 17 and a half. Well, pregnant at 17, birth at 18.

16:20 Drew Oh my God.

16:20 Adam You know what I'm saying? Yeah, these poor kids, you know, the dads are such a-holes. They just F the kid up and especially women. Here's the thing. Women, man, they're made out of paper mache. You can't leave them in the rain. They fall apart. You can't screw with them. Guys end up getting into taekwondo and open in a dojo one day. Right. And freak out in their fifties on some guy at a supermarket. But that's about it.

16:47 Drew Or they may become a more aggressive criminal type.

16:50 Adam Well, if you beat on them, usually. But the thing. Well, that's true. But the thing about the women is their mind gets scrambled. When daddy doesn't love them, when daddy doesn't show them attention, they get scrambled. And then they go through their life sort of scrambled. Got a stepdad who's calling. He's actually shouting to other people. She's a lesbian.

17:15 Drew Look at my rug munching daughter. That's what she's saying.

17:17 Adam Right, right.

17:18 Drew Yeah, right, right.

17:19 Adam It's not happening. Oh, by the way, I'm sure he's in a perfectly good a-hole. Don't get me wrong.

17:24 Drew Oh, absolutely.

17:25 Adam Nancy?

17:26 Yeah.

17:27 Adam You're 20?

17:28 Caller Yeah.

17:28 What's up?

17:30 Caller I have two questions. One is, I've been listening to the show since I was 12. I really love you guys, Adam. I was wondering if you can do a little bit of a Ace Rockolla thing tonight. I haven't heard that in a while.

17:41 Adam All right. Take that under consideration. A little traffic. You know, we get the weather out. The weather report out.

17:49 Drew Yeah.

17:49 Adam Yeah. Because I've listened to a lot of traffic and weather lately, by the way.

17:53 Drew The weather has been very diverse lately.

17:55 Adam Well, Southern California, late June.

17:59 Drew Late night, early morning, low clouds.

18:00 Adam Early July. Yeah. Fogs burning off by the afternoon. Seventies by the beaches, eighties inland, nineties going to get up the nineties. Oh, hold on a second. Wait a minute. I was going out. I'd wrap myself in foil and chicken fat and I was heading outside. But what are you saying? I'm going out. I'm going out to North Hollywood. What do you say?

18:22 Drew He said there could be 85 in North Hollywood.

18:24 Adam But he said it was minus.

18:26 Drew You know, 85, 85 and even hotter in the higher altitudes.

18:30 Adam Oh, you mean if you go down the low deserts?

18:32 Drew Low deserts.

18:34 Adam But the beach, it's hotter than that, right?

18:36 Drew No, cooler there.

18:37 Adam Oh, my goodness.

18:38 Drew Yeah.

18:38 Adam Yeah. Watch out. Look out for traffic. Look out for brake lights on the Artesia exit out in Guanaganejo out there. Yeah. You know, I have a lot of fun with my I have a new super gay assistant. We sit and he's not he's from Georgia. Oh, so he's only been here. He's been in town for about a year. Oh. And we sit and listen to AM radio every morning while I beef about stuff. And it's on in the background. But there was they break away for the traffic every about 35 seconds. And they just start mentioning these. But at the DeVore Pass, there's and I just have fun. I go, you ever heard of that place? No, I don't know where that is. What about Conejo? No, no, no, no. I realize he's been in town for you. He's never even heard of most of the places that are slow and go or you should look out for brake lights because they're 60, 70 miles out of town.

19:29 Guest Yes.

19:31 Drew Yes, the weather, the traffic reports in Los Angeles cover conservatively, conservatively 400 square miles.

19:39 Adam 400 square miles.

19:40 Drew Conservatively.

19:41 Adam I know.

19:43 Drew That's an E, that's a, I may be like 600 square miles.

19:46 Adam Mattress in Lanes at the Zizek's exit. It's out in Baker, California. It's three quarters of the way to Vegas.

19:52 Drew Think about it, it goes from like San Clemente. It's like basically almost to San Diego, to almost to Ventura.

19:59 Adam The DeVore Pass.

20:01 Drew It goes over, over the mountains into the desert, of Palmdale, Manchester.

20:05 Adam Like Snow on Mount Pino's, that's gonna be closed off.

20:07 Drew It goes over to DeVore and DeVore Pass and that stuff, and Arrowhead.

20:12 It's like, it literally is like, I know.

20:14 Drew A Boston traffic report, including Hartford.

20:18 Adam Yeah, I know, I know. Actually Hartford, we do cover at Hartford now, in LA one.

20:24 That's right.

20:26 Adam Hey, Hartford, look out for mattress and lanes. I just sit there and I just, and everyone just listens to these idiotic traffic reports and gets something, and here's, here's my challenge to everyone. Here's my challenge to you, because I have this theory that all they want to do is waste our time and pick up another sponsor, but they've brainwashed you lemmings into thinking that you need this thing. Here's my challenge to everyone. Close your eyes and think about the last time you heard a traffic report. I don't even hear when I'm in my car, by the way. I hear 90% of them when I'm in my bedroom.

20:59 Drew Imagine a world without the traffic report.

21:01 Adam No.

21:02 Drew What would you lose?

21:03 Adam Oh, I know I would be losing nothing, but people argue with me all the time. So here's the test I want to put to you people. When is the last time you acted on a traffic report? How many times in the last?

21:16 Drew Angus Eubankus told me he acted on one once.

21:18 Adam Angus Eubankus?

21:19 Drew Angus Eubankus.

21:20 Adam Angus Eubankus. How many times have you done it in the last five years and did it save you any time? Those are the two things. The answer to that is less than once. If you really break it down versus how much your goddamn time did you spend listening to this bitch rag about the DeVore Pass, you could have driven around the moon 30 times in a mini van. That's all. We don't need it, everybody. We don't need the weather either. They're having those early morning clouds burning off. Burning off. Oh, boy. I got to dress accordingly. What is going on? And it's a good thing because I was going to bring a muff.

22:02 Drew It depends.

22:02 Adam Muck locks in a muff.

22:03 Drew In some areas, like thunderstorms.

22:05 Adam Not here.

22:06 Drew Not here.

22:06 Adam Not here. Not in June, not in July. Here's the deal. Pipe up if something changes. Otherwise, why don't you just tell us how to inhale and exhale so we don't all suffocate? Retard idiots. Back to Nancy. Oh, I can't stand it. I can't stand the traffic report. How many traffic reports have you heard of you use? And how many of those backup beeps have you heard that you've gotten out of the way of? Zero. Zero and zero. Where's the outrage?

22:35 Caller All right.

22:36 Adam Traffic and weather.

22:38 Drew Nancy.

22:38 Adam Nancy.

22:39 Caller Idiot.

22:40 Caller Pussies.

22:41 Adam Oh, AM radio has some good talk radio, but those goddamn pussies never stop with the traffic and the weather. And they act like they're doing something for ever. Got to break away.

22:53 Caller Oh, all right.

22:55 Adam Go ahead.

22:55 Drew What's happening?

22:57 Adam Sorry?

22:58 Guest Hello?

23:00 Drew Well, not a word Nancy's saying.

23:01 Adam Now her phone went off.

23:02 Drew There she is.

23:03 Adam Now we got to take a break. Yeah, I know. I know she keeps saying hello.

23:07 Drew We can't hear it.

23:08 Adam We have a fantastic phone system that lets all of America hear our callers except for we can, huh?

23:15 Caller Huh? Hello? Huh? Hello?

23:17 Adam You're going to have to speak up.

23:18 Caller Hello?

23:19 Adam Yeah, it's awesome.

23:20 Drew Please ask them to fix this.

23:21 Adam No, they can't fix it. They can't.

23:23 Drew Line five, especially.

23:24 Adam Yeah. You got to look out for brake lights, though, on the 405. It's mattress and lanes.

23:28 Drew Yeah.

23:29 Adam And lanes. Yeah, look out for brake lights, you idiots. I like to strangle all those people. I really would. If I hear another goddamn weather report, I'm going to kill myself. Think of all the stuff you hear, including what's coming out of my mouth now that you just don't need to hear all day, every day. All the information.

23:46 Caller Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

23:51 Adam Let's take ourselves a little break. I may come back with expanded weather report. A little remix. Yeah, after this.

24:01 Caller Love Line will be right back, so get your problems ready. Want to know what it feels like to fly? Read James Patterson's Maximum Ride.

24:09 Caller Want a chance to hear yourself in a radio commercial?

24:12 Caller Check out maximumride.com.

24:29 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. I love the weather coming up for you today. Tell you what's going on, Stanton, checking in at 71 Anaheim, checking in 71 Cudahy, 71 West Covina, 71 Glendale, checking in 71 Artesias, checking in 71 degrees. Rosemead, checking in 71 degrees. Early morning fog burning off in a hazy afternoon sunshine. Mission Viejo, checking in 71. Team Four Copper, Chucker, Copper, Chucker, Chucker coverage. Team Cora, Team Four Chopper coverage. Weather's coming up, traffic coming up, top every hour, top every minute, top every sentence. Irwindale, checking in La Puente, checking in 71 degrees. Hacienda Heights, checking in 71 degrees. Van Nuys, checking in 71. 71 to Van Nuys. Mission Viejo, 71 degrees.

25:25 Caller Sun Valley, 71.

25:27 Adam Chilly, chilly, chilly. 71 in Sherman Oaks, a burning, hot, scorching 71 in Pasadena. A very mediocre 71 in Glendale. Covina, 71. Team Chopper coverage of weather and traffic coming up at the top every hour, every 50 minutes, every break on the hour, an hour and a half, hour and a quarter, hour and an eighth, hour and a 16th, hour and a 32nd, hour and a 64th, hour breaks, okay? Weather and traffic. Hey, this is your home for weather and traffic. You want to know about traffic? You want to know about weather? You want to know about weather and traffic? Or about traffic and weather? Check with us. Today's Weather and Traffic brought to you by Traffic and Weather. There's actually a patio store called Traffic and Weather. They got traffic, they got weather, they got outdoor furniture, redwood furniture. Come on down. 71 Artesia, Travel and Weather, check it in. Top of the hour, and the news, Michael Jackson leaving the country. Trouble in the Middle East, 71 Artesia and Rosemead, and ranchers in the Lanes. That about it? That about cover your life, everybody? Everyone covered?

26:26 Drew Caltrack's got some cones down.

26:27 Adam Caltrack's, I tell you what, give him a break, would ya? Ha ha, check out the Cone Zone. Remember, double fines for speeding in the Cone Zone. Give him a break. Click it or ticket, it's a law we can live with, everybody. 71 Hacienda Heights, man, I check it in. 71, Sun Valley, 71. Slow it down to the end of the Cone Zone, everybody. Click it or ticket. 71 over in Artesia and Cotahay, check it in. 71 degrees, traffic, weather, weather, traffic, news, weather, traffic, traffic, weather, news, traffic, weather, news and traffic. Check it in, top of the hour, top of the hour, middle of the hour, and middle side part of the hour too. And then the bottom of the hour, coming back with traffic, weather, then the top of the hour, weather, traffic, and then news, traffic, weather, and traffic.

27:11 Drew Weather, traffic, news.

27:12 Adam Tonight's weather? 71.

27:14 Drew Late night.

27:15 Adam Late night weather, mid-morning weather, and then we'll be checking in with Sky Team Chapter 4 with Insta-traffic and Insta-weather, brought to you by Travagan Weather. All right? Here we go. Because you got to know what's going on. You don't want to hear a traffic report from like 1969. You got to hear one now. You got to have Insta. You want the Insta one. You don't want some guy going, hmm, I feel like there could be some slowing on the 405 somewhere 2008, maybe 2010. No, that's not going to help if you're got, you know, running late for the airport.

27:50 Drew No, of course not.

27:51 Adam And I don't want the past traffic, you know.

27:53 Drew Wait a minute, you mean at eight in the morning, there could be some traffic on the way to the airport?

27:56 Adam Oh yeah, no, oftentimes, oftentimes.

27:58 Drew I need to hear the traffic to know that though, right?

27:59 Adam Oh yeah, you got to know, you got to know. Otherwise, there's no possible way. And then you get the insta, you get the sky, you get the sky chopper five up there at the insta traffic, because, you know, you don't want the traffic from like 1971. You don't want some go, well, there's a Oldsmobile Tornado that blew a radial tire out and a chick in a powder blue skirt with a bouffant hairdo on the side of the road. You don't need someone from Jim Morrison passed her by. You don't want anything from the past.

28:25 Drew Oh, got it.

28:26 Adam You know what I'm saying?

28:27 Drew Yeah.

28:27 Adam It's the traffic and sky weather every eighth of a second. Nancy.

28:32 Caller Yes.

28:32 Drew Back to Nancy. What's the question?

28:35 Caller My question is, I am a recovering heroin addict. I've been sober for about two months and I wanted to know what the likelihood is I would experience a relapse in the future.

28:44 Drew You're a heroin addict. How are you recovering? How are you treating the heroin addiction?

28:50 Caller I quit cold turkey.

28:51 Drew Yeah. But how what are you doing to treat your disease?

28:55 Caller Nothing.

28:56 You're a heroin addict.

28:59 Adam By the way, she's been listening since 12, she said earlier. You did a wonderful job with her, hasn't he?

29:04 Drew Okay, relapse.

29:05 Adam I just make fart jokes.

29:06 Drew Relapse.

29:06 Adam You dropped the ball.

29:07 Drew Highly motivated, working hard. Relapse is about 60 to 80%. Doing nothing.

29:13 Adam You will do it.

29:14 Drew Yeah, doing nothing is 100%.

29:16 Adam Highly motivated. Yeah. Working hard, but hold on. For the first.

29:21 Drew Year, first year.

29:22 Adam First year of a 20 year old.

29:24 Drew When she's asking you, there are relapses and there are relapses. I mean, there are slips, really. And slips, most people slip in that first year at some point. It's a very difficult year. And the key is to stay in the program and to keep working at it. And eventually, sort of sobriety takes hold.

29:39 Adam Speaking of sobriety in the program, I was watching a little Bobby Brown special tonight with Whitney Houston.

29:49 Drew Oh, well, well, he'll be up here, won't he? Well, I wouldn't count on it.

29:53 Adam I don't want to count on it. He's supposed to come in next week.

29:55 Drew Yeah.

29:55 Adam Bobby seemed fine. Whitney seemed like, well, I don't know what she ingested or what she is ingesting or has ingested. I would hope it was something like people do that. All that stuff where they're like, hey, man, I've been taking drugs. It's like, oh, oh, you better hope you've been taking drugs. You better pray you've been taking drugs because other than that, you have a golf ball sized tumor that's putting pressure on something in your brain or you just, something's wrong with you. Yeah, you need to be institutionalized. So you should actually be working the, hey, I've taken a lot of drugs angle.

30:34 Caller It's better, right?

30:36 Adam It's like those people, it's like, I wasn't drunk. Oh, you mean you're just a world-class jack-off? Oh, really? You should say you were drunk. That's a good excuse. I just use it. I use it all the time.

30:47 Drew All right. So, Nancy.

30:48 Caller Yes.

30:49 Drew Doing nothing, it's 100 percent. And I would predict that you must be doing something already anyway, like smoking pot every day or something.

30:55 Caller The only thing I did was I moved. I moved from where I was to somewhere, and I don't think I can find any here. That was the only thing I really did.

31:01 Drew Yeah, but you must be doing some, you just must have switched to something else, heroin, to pot or alcohol or something.

31:07 Caller Yeah, pot.

31:08 Drew All right. So you're on marijuana maintenance. You're not, this is, you're already in it. You're just going to switch, you know, you're going to either increase the pot or switch over to something else. You're still very, very active.

31:16 Adam Nancy, you've been listening to the show since 12 and this is what you do?

31:20 Caller Well, I didn't intend to do it, obviously. I hung out with a lot of people. I made some stupid choices.

31:26 Adam Yeah, I know, but you've been listening to the show since 12 and this is what you've been doing.

31:30 Drew I think what Adam means is, what did you think I was going to say?

31:33 Caller I have no idea. I just wanted your opinion.

31:35 Adam All right.

31:36 Drew We talk about this all the time.

31:38 Adam You listen to the show, right? What do you think? Yeah.

31:43 Drew You need to get in a program. You need to get in sober living. This is a very, very serious thing. I had an addict die just today. It's a very serious thing. It happens. It's a deadly kind of thing.

31:52 Adam How do they die?

31:53 Drew Usually overdosing or getting an infection.

31:57 Adam Which one's more common?

31:59 Drew For heroin, it's usually the infections and kidney diseases and that's kind of the sort of thing.

32:02 Adam What's the kidney disease from?

32:03 Drew They get kidney failure from, it really knows. Oh really? They get all kinds of horrible, horrible medical problems.

32:10 Caller Wow.

32:10 Adam Oh, hold on. We got to break away.

32:12 Caller Left-hand traffic.

32:15 Adam Get you over to Sky Chopper 5. Get her Insta-ACTA. Insta-ACTA weather traffic.

32:21 Caller Yeah.

32:22 Adam Drew, how you would not know how to dress, would you?

32:24 Drew No, I have no idea.

32:25 Adam No, it would be virtually impossible to figure out what type of clothing to wear before you left.

32:30 Drew In fact, I'd leave nude. I wouldn't wear clothes.

32:33 Adam Well, here's what would happen if there was no goddamn weather on these horrible radio stations in the morning. Drew, it would be the same thing. It would be the clock would say 8 a.m. and you would see Drew leaving his house wearing just a Styrofoam cup and a little duct tape over genitalia and those low socks.

32:54 Drew It would definitely be a strain. No, the belt might be a Styrofoam cup.

32:59 Adam All right, and then you would see me.

33:01 Caller And a cup, bowl.

33:02 Adam A bowl, a Styrofoam bowl over his junk and nothing else with the suitcase. And then you would see. Briefcase. Briefcase, and then at 8 a.m. you would see me leaving my house in one of those Nomex suits they use at foundries when they're like pouring steel with a full hood, silver. The ones guys used to put out oil rig files. Right, right. And full gloves and everything. That's how I would be, because we would have no goddamn idea. Yeah. It would be impossible.

33:31 Drew We would be very, very random.

33:32 Adam No, we need retards to tell us what it's like. By the way, do you need, is there anything you need to know less than the weather when you live here? I mean.

33:41 Drew No.

33:42 Adam Here's the weather. Look out the goddamn window. You know what I mean? The weather is what's on you.

33:49 Drew Yes.

33:50 Adam There's no mystery in it.

33:52 Drew And it doesn't change sort of day to day.

33:54 Adam No, not here. It doesn't.

33:56 Drew If it rains, it rains for a week.

33:57 Adam Oh, please. Everyone, I'm disgusted at all of you. Radio idiots. Kayla.

34:05 Guest Yes.

34:06 Adam You're 16.

34:07 Guest Yeah.

34:08 Caller What's up?

34:09 Guest Hi.

34:10 Caller Hey.

34:12 Drew That's it. Okay.

34:15 Adam You sound hot. Did you stop talking?

34:20 Drew She did.

34:22 Adam This is different than when our phone just goes out.

34:24 Drew She actually just froze up on us.

34:26 Guest Sorry. I'm like, I'm just, I've never done this before. So, yeah.

34:31 Adam All right. Well, here's the deal. If you're not going to talk for-

34:34 Today, Junior!

34:35 Adam You're not going to talk for several minutes? Announce that you will be not talking for several minutes. So we don't think that there's some problem with the phone line or that someone broke in and stabbed you.

34:45 Drew Okay.

34:45 Adam Well, now see, that's something wrong with the phone line. Ironically, she's probably talking now.

34:50 Drew So the reason we can tell, the phone is out, we have a little bit of white noise we hear and that goes silent.

34:57 Adam Right.

34:57 Drew That's what we can tell the phone isn't working.

34:58 Adam Go ahead, Kailyn.

35:00 Guest Okay. Well, I'm 16 and I'm engaged to a 22-year-old and...

35:07 Adam There should be a comedian that goes, white noise be like, hey, my God, black noise be like, get the hell out of here. That be funny?

35:15 Guest Yeah.

35:16 Adam Yeah.

35:16 Drew Very funny.

35:17 Adam I'd try that with Bobby Brown when he comes.

35:21 Caller Kailyn? Yeah.

35:24 Drew What did you see? What was this on?

35:26 Adam I was watching his new show.

35:28 Oh, you watched Bobby Brown's show?

35:30 Adam Son, on Bravo, I guess.

35:32 Drew Oh, yeah, yeah.

35:33 Adam Yeah.

35:33 Drew And she was tailing around with him.

35:35 Adam Oh, Whitney was all over it.

35:37 Drew Yeah.

35:38 Adam But Whitney is becoming hard to understand.

35:41 Drew The shell of Whitney.

35:42 Adam They, here's the deal, everybody. If you're doing one of those reality shows and you're oftentimes subtitled and you're in the land, speaking the language that the viewers speak, that's a bad sign.

36:01 Drew Yeah.

36:01 Adam It's a bad sign when you're subtitled, oftentimes subtitled and you, you ain't out, you know, it's not like you're water, you're not barefoot, water skiing and yelling something at the boat, right?

36:12 Drew With the camera crew in it.

36:14 Adam You're in the limousine. And it's subtitled.

36:16 Drew I thought another bad sign.

36:16 Adam That's a bad sign.

36:17 Drew I know someone's working on the show and they said they got the review as the worst reality show ever. I thought that is a market distinction. I mean, you've got to beat out the Gastineau Girls, beat out, beat out.

36:28 Adam Oh, everything.

36:29 Drew I mean, blown out.

36:29 Adam You got to be, blow out. You got to mean everything. Now, I would ensue my show. I would, no, I would still recommend the worst reality show of all time to me is the best reality show.

36:40 Drew That's what I'm saying. I mean, that was like, that's a market distinction.

36:43 Adam Go ahead there, Kayla.

36:45 Guest Yeah. So I'm engaged to him. And it's right at this point. It's a long distance relationship. He's in Utah and I'm in Colorado.

36:52 Drew Wait, how did you meet this guy?

36:54 Guest He goes to school with my older sister.

36:57 Drew And how did you meet him? What happened?

36:59 Guest Well, I was visiting my sister out there and she introduced me to him.

37:04 Drew And then you started dating him?

37:06 Guest Yeah.

37:07 Drew How long did you date for?

37:09 Guest Well, I met him when I was 14.

37:12 Caller And so we've been dating for two years.

37:14 Adam You started dating at 14?

37:16 Guest Yeah.

37:17 Drew How often do you see each other?

37:20 Guest Well, I haven't seen him since the Valentine's Day.

37:24 Adam Well, wait a minute.

37:25 Drew Whoa, no, no, no.

37:27 Adam He was 20 and you were 14 when you were dating?

37:31 Guest Yes.

37:33 Drew What do you mean you're engaged? How can you be engaged with someone you haven't seen in six months?

37:37 Caller Hold on.

37:38 Adam I know I've been wrong in the past, but Asian or Jew?

37:42 Drew Asian.

37:43 Adam Asian.

37:43 Caller Jew?

37:44 Adam Asian. Which one are you? Well, I know it's one, but which one?

37:48 Caller Me?

37:48 Adam Yeah, yeah.

37:49 Caller Neither.

37:51 Drew What?

37:54 Caller I just, what are you going to do?

37:57 Adam I just, you know, my instincts are normally good, Drew, but I'm, you know, I know, and you can never stereotype, but once in a while I do and I get a feeling and I've just been 0 for 1000 in this department. Incredible.

38:08 Drew How dare you?

38:08 Adam Incredible. Wow. All right. So sure. Not like the three quarter Jew and quarter Asian or something like that?

38:17 Guest No.

38:18 Adam Wow. All right. So 14, you're dating this guy, but you haven't seen him since Valentine's Day?

38:25 Guest Yeah.

38:26 Adam When's the last time you spoke to him?

38:28 Guest Yesterday.

38:30 Adam Oh, what'd he say?

38:32 Guest Well, actually, he's drunk at the time, so I'm not exactly clear of what he was trying to say.

38:38 Drew What did it seem like he was trying to say?

38:41 Guest He's kind of a sensitive guy, so he's always telling me that he loves me and stuff. And like, I don't know. He's just...

38:49 Drew What was he trying to say?

38:52 Guest I don't know, that he wants to come out here and see me. I don't, I really don't know.

38:58 Adam Uh-huh, right. Wow.

39:00 Drew All right, this is not a relationship. You're not engaged in this.

39:04 Adam I hate getting loaded and vomiting on the phone receiver. It's not a relationship.

39:09 Drew Have you ever had sex with this guy?

39:11 Adam No.

39:12 Drew All right, that's good.

39:13 Adam Oh, Kayla, what's up?

39:14 Drew So at least he's not a criminal. Okay, so sort of weird.

39:16 Adam Let's get a question. Are you overweight? No. All right, stop acting like it then. This is the work of a fat chick. What's wrong with you? You're 16. If you're not fat, why don't you just hook up with a guy in your home state, possibly even in your high school. It's more convenient that way. Get a regular guy, get a boyfriend. We need some sloppy, drunk, 22 year old guy calling you from a state over.

39:41 Drew Who you don't even, you never see. This is bizarre, Kaylee, you understand how bizarre this is.

39:48 Guest Well, yeah, I know it's pretty bizarre, but.

39:51 Adam What's wrong with you? Is there something wrong with your self-esteem?

39:55 Guest Well, no, it's just that every other relationship I've had, it's always had drugs and abuse involved in it.

40:03 Drew All right, so this is the alternative, which is to have a non-relationship relationship. Have it with a guy who's actually not even present. Have it with a fantasy guy.

40:11 Caller You're 16.

40:12 Guest Yeah, pretty much.

40:14 Adam Where's your dad?

40:16 Guest My real dad and my mom are divorced, so my dad lives in another town.

40:21 Drew Have you ever met your real dad?

40:22 Adam All right, now look, I'm gonna ask one more time, Asian or Jew?

40:25 Guest Neither.

40:27 Drew It has to be.

40:28 Adam It has to be. Just look, I don't like the stereotype, but it has to be. Okay, all right, well listen.

40:34 Drew Stop it.

40:35 Adam Okay, let's just stop it. Come on, baby, you're not stupid. You're 16, every relationship before this has been drugs and abuse.

40:43 Drew And by the way, before this was under the age of 14.

40:45 Adam Yeah, what? You had lots of drugs and abuse when you were in the fifth grade?

40:51 Guest Yeah.

40:51 Adam When you were dating in the fifth grade?

40:53 Guest Yeah, I was.

40:54 Adam All right, well stop it.

40:55 Caller I was 12.

40:57 Drew All right, that's not okay. That's not, that's very destructive for you.

41:01 Adam Please, baby, don't get pregnant. Don't get, what?

41:04 Guest Why?

41:04 Drew Don't get.

41:06 Adam Are you pregnant now?

41:07 Guest No, I'm not.

41:08 Adam Good. Don't have sex. Do something in school, would you?

41:13 Guest Well, I'm in National Junior Honor, well, not Junior, but, you know, Honor Society.

41:18 Drew You are?

41:19 Guest I'm a straight A student, yeah.

41:20 Drew All right, so behave like, behave like a kid.

41:22 Adam Straight A at a normal high school?

41:24 Guest Yeah, normal.

41:25 Adam It doesn't have wheels on it or anything?

41:27 Guest It's not a normal high school.

41:28 Guest It's a prep school.

41:30 Adam Really?

41:31 Guest Yeah.

41:31 Adam Who's sending you to prep school?

41:33 Guest My parents are.

41:35 Adam They have some money?

41:36 Guest Um, no.

41:38 Caller Oh, okay.

41:39 Adam All right. All right. But look, all right, so you're going to go off to college?

41:43 Guest Yeah, I have plans on it.

41:45 Caller Okay, here's the deal.

41:46 Adam So don't act stupid.

41:47 Drew But also, Kaylee, you've got to get some treatment. If you're going to have a professional life and be able to sustain it without collapsing psychologically from all what you've been through, you might as well get engaged in some treatment right now. Get it going. And in fact, what will happen is, you'll start attracting and be attracted to healthier people. You'll actually have successful relationships. Things will settle down. But get some treatment, for god sakes.

42:10 Adam All right. We'll take a break. A lot of confused ladies tonight. Somebody went through rapid detox. We got a circumcision question. We had a rapid detox question last week.

42:21 Drew I wonder if it's the same guy.

42:22 Adam I wonder if it's the same guy. Nick San Francisco. I think the guy was calling from San Francisco.

42:27 Guest I think so.

42:27 Adam All right. We'll check back with him after this.

42:31 Guest Thank you for calling Loveline.

42:33 Guest Your call will be answered in the order it seems interesting.

42:40 Adam Want to dress up your sex life? Visit durex.com. There's sex and then there's Durex.

43:00 Caller Get it on.

43:01 Adam Yeah. Got to get it on. No choice but get it on. 71 Artesia, 71 Rosemead, 71 Irvendale, 71 La Puente, Hacienda Heights. Check it in. 71 degrees. News, weather, weather, traffic, traffic, and weather news all coming in top of the hour. We got Sky Team 5, Chopper 5, Chopper 5, weather, traffic, and news, check it in. Top of the hour, core of the hour, and when it counts, we'll be breaking in with late break in weather, news, and traffic. Like this just in, Sun Valley, 71. 71, so says Chopper 5. Check it in. Sky, Captain Chopper 5. Check it in. With your up-to-date Acu news and weather coming in. Insta-Acu, Acu Instu-Weather, Insta-Acu Chopper 5 weather, Acta Instu-Weather, Super Insta-Acu, Acta Super Super Insta-Acu right now, Dew-Weather, but just past the weather. 71 coming in. Laverne, check it in. Cudahy, check it in. 71 degrees. Temple City, check it in. DeVore, Pomona, 71. Highland Park, check it in. 72? What? No. 71 degrees. Azusa, 71. This is your home for Insta-Acu, Acta Insta-Perma, Perma, Acta Insta-Acu weather. Coming in at the top of the hour, the quarter of the hour, the eighth of the hour, the sixteenth hour, the third second of the hour, 164th of the hour, break it in. And when weather breaks, and when farts break, we'll be checking in with the Acu. Super instant Acu weather sky camp chopper five, okay? Yeah, Jim?

44:40 Yeah.

44:41 Adam 26.

44:42 Caller We're here.

44:43 Adam Hurry, we gotta break away for weather.

44:45 I'll get out of here.

44:47 Adam Top of the hour, bottom of the hour, middle of the hour, in the left and right side of every hour, checking in with super Acu checking chopper weather. What's up, buddy?

44:58 I wanted to know about the circumcision. What's going on? What's the trend nowadays? I just had a baby boy.

45:07 Caller Oh, boy.

45:08 Guest Yeah, we're deciding.

45:10 Adam Trend is like the first week.

45:12 Drew Yeah, they do quickly. They're doing it less these days. They do numb the area these days also, so the baby doesn't feel anything. So it's not as though it's anything traumatic. It's fairly clear that the incidence of-

45:26 Adam Kid has a weak constitution, though.

45:28 Drew Transmitted-

45:28 Adam Screamed when he heard circumcision.

45:30 Drew The transmission of the wart virus is less. However, by the time your kid is a teenager, they will undoubtedly have the wart virus vaccine.

45:36 Adam Oh, really?

45:37 Drew So it's less of an issue.

45:38 Adam Party like it's 1999.

45:40 Drew There are no cases of penile cancer in circumcised males.

45:44 Adam In no cases in uncircumcised either.

45:46 Drew And very rare cases.

45:48 Adam No, there's nothing, there's a hygiene issue and a weirdo issue. Where are you gonna raise a kid? In America or France?

45:54 California, America.

45:56 Adam California? I'll go ahead and get the circumcision.

45:59 Drew Why not?

45:59 Caller Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.

46:00 Drew I mean, every time-

46:01 Adam Splurge on his penis.

46:02 Drew Why not?

46:03 Adam Sooner than later.

46:06 Drew Yeah.

46:06 Caller We got deployment Tuesday.

46:07 I guess they like to wait a few days.

46:09 Drew I, by the way, I worry about parents that obsess too much about these more simple decisions. There's a lot more stuff ahead.

46:16 Adam Yeah, whether you do it or you don't do it.

46:18 Drew Just take your decision to move on.

46:19 Adam Yeah, how many books you have to read on it?

46:21 Drew Yeah, there are, there's some, I mean, think about the more nuanced stuff coming down the line.

46:26 Adam Let me, let me tell you this, Drew, because I run into this every day. Then we got to break away from traffic whether we're going to traffic or not. But here's the thing. A lot of people think it's a virtue to spend way too much time going back and forth, especially in Hollywood, too many e-mails, shooting back and forth, too many phone calls. And it's like, pardon me for being thorough. I'm like, pardon you, I'm going to punch you for wasting my goddamn day. Stop talking about everything and just go do it.

46:53 Drew Now that babies need you to be in charge and protect them and feel safe, that's what they need.

46:58 Adam Not read 30 books on circumcision.

47:00 Drew Not to be out of control yourself and not know what to do. That's anxiety and that's what kids pick up on.

47:06 Adam Well, here's what a kid wants to see. Even if you don't know what you're doing, he wants to see someone who looks like they know what they're doing.

47:11 Drew They want to be calm. They want to be taken care of.

47:13 Adam All right, Drew, that's good stuff.

47:17 Drew Let's go. Don't drop the truck. Maybe you might. You might.

47:20 Adam I think we're going to take a break. We're going to come back with Insta Acu, Acu Insta Top of the Hours, Chopper 5, team coverage, team Chopper Acu weather, Insta coverage of the weather, the traffic, the traffic and the weather news.

47:35 Drew Brought to you by.

47:36 Adam Brought to you by the.

47:38 Drew Traffic and weather.

47:39 Adam Longo Toyota. I'll tell you what. It's Dealing Days down at Longo. Head on down. No reasonable offer or refuse. They're selling Camrys. 50 cents over invoice. So come on down. It's Dealing Days, Longo Toyota. All right. We'll take a quick break. Crack back. We're right back after this. That's what I'm saying. Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Bobby Brown may be in here on Tuesday. And then the author of the best-selling book, He's Not For You. I'm gonna tear that guy into a hole. I can't stand those guys. He's coming in after that. And then Rob Zombie is a good old Rob. Haven't seen him in a couple of moons. He's gonna be in here next week as well. I'm gonna have to ask that guy about that book. Because if he starts getting into that stuff where it's like, look, if you call the guy and you call him repeatedly and he doesn't return your call, then he's just not into you.

49:20 Caller Hold on.

49:21 Adam If he starts crapping out those super ridiculous, obvious platitudes, I'm gonna punch him.

49:26 Drew Dogs being pack animals.

49:26 Adam Dogs are pack animals.

49:30 Drew Maybe he'll launch into traffic and weather.

49:32 Adam Traffic and weather or not pack animals. Let me tell you, there are no straight lines in nature in dogs or pack animals. And I believe everything happens for a reason. Stephanie?

49:44 Guest Yes.

49:45 Caller Hello?

49:45 Adam Hello?

49:46 Caller Hi.

49:47 Adam Stephanie?

49:48 Caller Yes.

49:49 Adam 27.

49:51 Caller Uh-huh.

49:52 Adam What's up?

49:53 Caller Um, well, I kind of have some sexual inhibitions, I guess you could say. The boyfriend I have now, I've been with him for like seven months. And he's really into anal sex or anything anal.

50:07 Drew By the way, that's not an inhibition. That's sort of good judgment.

50:11 Adam By the way, that is a bad rider to tack on to the, he's really into anal sex or anything anal. Or anything anal makes it ten times worse. Or anything anal like anal memorabilia, anal magnets for the refrigerator, stuffed anal animals, big anal fan. Like some people, like Batman. Anyway, he's got an anal coffee mug. I love anus. Yeah.

50:44 Drew That would be I Heart Anus.

50:45 Adam I Heart Anus bumper sticker. That's actually, it's an eye, it's a picture of an eye and then actual drawing of a heart and then an anus.

50:52 Drew Nice.

50:53 Adam Yeah. Anything anus. This guy's, yeah, it's like one of your stupid mom's friends who loves hippos.

50:58 Drew Right.

50:59 Adam You get her stuffed animal or an ass right with a hippo on it.

51:01 Drew He loves an eye.

51:02 Adam He loves an eye. Anything an eye. He's gonna see him when they come around to concert again. All right. Anything anus.

51:12 Caller I'm trying with him and I'm OK with it.

51:14 Adam Everything anus.

51:15 Drew Oh, I beg your pardon.

51:16 Caller Go ahead. I'm not comfortable doing anything with him that way.

51:21 Adam Right.

51:21 Drew That's fine because it hurts.

51:22 Adam That's you.

51:23 Drew And that's fine.

51:23 Adam Not only.

51:24 Caller I've let him, you know, we've had anal sex, you know, but like he wants me to play with him.

51:30 Drew Oh.

51:31 Caller That's the part I'm kind of like weird about.

51:33 Adam What would he like you to do?

51:36 Caller Either, you know, play with my hand or, you know, my mouth, any of that.

51:42 Adam So that mouth thing, why don't you just...

51:44 Drew That's a commitment.

51:45 Adam Yeah. Why don't you just, why don't you ask for a nice Cadillac for Christmas instead? You know, it's a taller order. Yeah. The tongue thing, you know.

51:54 Drew Be sure you do it in the shower if you do it anywhere.

51:56 Caller Well, I mean, we've always, we've always like cleaned with, you know, shower water, you know, first.

52:01 Drew All right. Be that as it may, you're not into it. It's fine. So what? That's not inhibited. You're your boyfriend.

52:05 Adam No, you're not uptight. He's a mania.

52:07 Drew Yeah.

52:09 Caller Because it seems like it's starting to affect, like, the closeness of a relationship now, because we've been here like this.

52:15 Adam He's a weird dude is what that's what's affecting.

52:17 Drew He's in this sort of fetish. And there you go. Yeah. That tends to make people feel less connected in a relationship. It's not like you need to be more intimate with him by engaging in these crazy acts. The fact is, he's asking for fetishistic acts that actually remove the intimacy from your relationship. He can't handle the closeness and that's why he's kind of pulling out.

52:39 Adam What do you do for what does he do for a living?

52:42 Caller He's doing pipe fitting.

52:45 Adam Ironic.

52:46 Caller Yeah.

52:47 Drew All right.

52:49 Caller Yeah.

52:50 Adam He's so committed to the anal lifestyle that he has to work around fecal matter.

52:55 Caller Well, not like that kind of power. He's like.

52:57 Drew Anything anus.

52:58 Adam Anything anus.

52:59 Drew Anything.

53:00 Adam Well, we worked at a fudge packing plant out in Pennsylvania for a while. They took the raw blocks of crude fudge and he would pack that into a 55-gallon barrel.

53:11 Drew It's half a few years he was a union fudge packer.

53:14 Adam Yeah.

53:14 Drew freelance fudge packer.

53:17 Adam Take the main interstate out there, Hershey Highway. Turn right. They hit the main fudge packing facility. Anything anus.

53:28 Caller Yeah.

53:29 Adam Named his first kid anus. Just because it was the closest name to anus.

53:33 Drew Sounds like the Ubagas family again.

53:35 Caller Yeah.

53:36 Adam Yeah.

53:37 Caller All right.

53:38 Adam Yeah. There used to be a guy when a race to do politically incorrect named. Let's see. His name was Niger.

53:49 Caller Enos and I did once with that guy to an IG.

53:54 Drew Yeah. He's a famous writer.

53:57 Adam IGER like E. And US. I just thought of myself, God, is this guy just a letter or two off from just a train wreck of a name? You know what I mean?

54:09 Drew Yeah.

54:10 Adam Niger, Ennis. Like also has got to have is like one glass of white wine and just a little quick little Tourette's flash as they start to say, you know, at the podium. I don't welcome to the stage a great friend, a great author and a great family man. You know what I mean? Yes. Just and you don't be running through your head like a crazy mantra, right? That you couldn't get out and you would end up spitting it out. Yeah. Oh, all right. Yeah. He used to show up on Politically Incorrect all the time. It seemed like every third time I did it, he was sitting next to me.

54:47 Caller Nice to meet you, Mr. And then I would you said, would you normally sit on the left side of Bill or on the right?

54:53 Adam I would. I've sat on both sides, but I always sat on it. At the end, I think I always sat on the left because that's where I call Niger always was. What? What'd you call him? He was a black guy, by the way, which, you know, really sort of compounded things. I forgot. I forgot to forgot to say that. Yeah. All right, Nick, what's up?

55:14 Caller Hey, what's up? I'm calling back about that rapid OB detox thing.

55:17 Adam Yeah, that was you.

55:18 Caller Yeah, how'd it go?

55:19 Adam I thought that was you. Okay, so let's just set the table here. About a week and a half ago.

55:24 Caller Yeah, roughly. And I never got to answer. I goobers or raisinets, by the way.

55:28 Drew Oh, I made a commitment, by the way, that week and I ate a bunch of goobers.

55:32 Caller Wow.

55:33 Adam I'll tell you, you're cut out of a certain cloth.

55:38 Drew I'll tell you.

55:40 Adam Yeah, this is, Drew and I decided, now we're at the point where Drew and I can get angry about almost anything.

55:47 Drew No, no, anything, anything.

55:49 Adam Drew and I stood in front of the vending machine in the hallway, the radio station, and Drew got the raisinets out of it and then announced to me, wouldn't you rather have goobers than raisinets? And I said, yeah, any day of the week. And then he said, why does this vending machine have raisinets and not goobers?

56:05 Drew In fact, the theaters have, that's often the way it is.

56:07 Adam Raisinets are ubiquitous and goobers are a little bit hard to find and the reality is nine out of 10 Americans wants goobers. And then we decided raisinets is a great name and goobers is a horrible name and that's why.

56:20 Drew That's it.

56:21 Adam That's all it takes.

56:22 Caller Wonderful.

56:23 Drew Same company.

56:24 Adam Go ahead, Nick.

56:25 Caller Anyway, I went in on a Friday.

56:27 Adam Yeah, I went in on a Friday.

56:29 Caller This is Rapid Detox.

56:30 Drew Yeah, and my concern for you was the Rapid Detox is great, but my concern is what you're going to do next to sort of deal with your disease process.

56:36 Caller They hooked me up with a psychologist, a psychiatrist, a psychologist. And he just basically told me that if I was feeling depressed, I could just tell him however I was feeling afterward. And he got me on trazodone, or he's going to start me on trazodone. But as far as like, um...

56:53 Drew Please go to Narcotics Anonymous. Please.

56:55 Caller No, no, yeah, no, I know. I know, it's just fine.

56:58 Drew Get a sponsor, work the steps. That is the treatment for this disease.

57:01 Adam Tell us about the process, though. So it was, what was it like? Was it six, eight grand or something? How much was it?

57:08 Caller Well, the Wyden Institute down south wanted like 14,000, so we went to Michigan for something like, you know, happened back when the doctor paid in six.

57:17 Adam Six grand, all right.

57:19 Drew What was there for?

57:20 Caller I was the first one in there, they did me, and I woke up, and next to me were two kids at the height of their, like, you know, withdraw, and they didn't want to let me, like, you know, nurses didn't want to let me leave, so I was sitting there watching these kids go through, but.

57:32 Adam So you went in and they put you to sleep?

57:36 Caller Yeah, basically just put you to sleep, yeah.

57:38 Adam And they hook you up to a tube or something?

57:42 Drew Yeah, they breathe for you. Oh, they're alive, you're completely out.

57:45 Adam Oh, really?

57:46 Caller Yeah.

57:46 Adam I mean, they put a respirator on you?

57:48 Drew Yeah, yeah, it's the general anesthesia. General anesthesia means you're frozen.

57:51 Adam No, I, you know, look, I've, you know, people are confused about it. I used to be, too, there's local anesthesia, like, you know, you get a cavity filled, you get shot in the gum, and then everything else is general to them, but they don't know there's one in between, which is what you get when you get some little outpatient surgery or something.

58:11 Drew Right, it's a twilight, they call it, or...

58:12 Adam Yeah, they put you to sleep, but you're still breathing and functioning on your own.

58:16 Drew Right, you're not in for anesthesia, right.

58:17 Adam Right, now when I have, when you, like, when you have your hernia surgery...

58:21 Drew They're in general.

58:22 Adam That's general?

58:23 Drew Yep.

58:23 Adam They're breathing for you.

58:25 Drew They're out, yeah.

58:25 Adam But they don't put anything down your throat, do they?

58:28 Drew Oh, yeah.

58:28 Adam Oh, I thought they just put a mask on.

58:30 Drew They could do either way.

58:31 Adam I didn't feel something going down the throat.

58:32 Drew Yeah.

58:33 Adam But anyway, general anesthesia, and you're out for how long, Nick?

58:39 Caller I was out, they said I was quick. I was out four hours, and then woke up, and was completely out of my mind. I didn't know where I was, and but...

58:48 Adam And in your body, you were watching two guys next to you going through the withdrawal...

58:53 Caller Yeah, that's probably the worst...

58:55 Adam .while they were under.

58:58 Caller Yeah, I was the first one done.

58:59 Drew Nick, are you taking no drugs right now? Are you still smoking?

59:03 Caller Oh, right now, I'm actually fighting, trying not to go to sleep from the pill that he had given me to go to sleep. I wanted to call you guys first.

59:09 Drew What pill? The Trasadone?

59:12 Caller Yeah, the Trasadone.

59:12 Drew But you're not taking, you're not smoking pot, you're not doing anything else?

59:15 Caller Oh, no, I'm completely straight, like, I...

59:18 Adam And did you feel then, so now it's four hours, how do they get your body to go through the withdrawal?

59:24 Drew They give you an opiate blocking agent.

59:26 Caller Yes, see, I actually...

59:26 Drew Naltrexone.

59:27 Caller The day I woke up from, like, I suffered two days after, I kinda had a, you know, kinda wanted one, so I took four Norcos and just tested it, which is stupid, but tested it and nothing happened at all. I guess I can't get drunk either, so...

59:41 Adam Wait a second, Drew's got a look on his face, but wait a second, wait a second, Drew, hold on, hold on a second.

59:46 Drew This is such a mess.

59:47 Adam Okay, but the rapid withdrawal, is it, is it a withdrawal?

59:57 Drew They saturate the opioid receptors with what's called an antagonist, a blocker. So they displace all the opiates from his system and hit it with a, in other words, inducing a massive withdrawal, a sudden massive withdrawal.

1:00:12 Adam So they induce one.

1:00:13 Drew Yes, but here's the deal, the withdrawal would have taken him three days anyway, so he's saying he was out of his mind for two days, he could have done all that for $400.

1:00:22 Adam I know, but people are so intimidated about the first three days. You always talk about the real work begins after the withdrawal, but people are freaked out about that first few days.

1:00:34 Drew They have a pathological fear of those first few days.

1:00:37 Adam Yes, well, everything, cigarettes, booze, heroin, whatever, you quit. It's the first few days that everyone is freaked out about.

1:00:44 Caller All right.

1:00:46 Adam So, Nick, you took four Norco?

1:00:50 Caller No, yeah. When I woke up, I was just out of my mind. I grabbed some Norco and I took Norco.

1:00:56 Drew Yeah, out of the mind thing you went through, you could have gone through something much easier in a hospital and a detox center and be just as done.

1:01:03 Caller It really wasn't the easy way out for me, but...

1:01:05 Drew No, the point is it's not the easy way out. You still went through three days of horrible withdrawal.

1:01:10 Caller Yeah, but you didn't have the pain of it. I was basically numb and just laying in bed, watching TV, dozing in and out of sleep, rather than cringing in the fetal position.

1:01:20 Adam What's the NORCO doing? I don't get the power of one second before a NORCO.

1:01:23 Drew Let me explain it one second. But Nick, I properly treated opiate withdrawal. You should basically be asleep for about three days, and then you wake up and you're done. Most people do not remember their opiate withdrawal in a hospital and treatment center.

1:01:36 Caller I don't even know if I had one, but I assume I did.

1:01:38 Drew But the point is, that's one of my criticisms about the rapid detox is when I often get them after they're through the rapid detox, they end up going through withdrawal for a week. That's worse. They're more encephalopathic, they're more dangerous, more problematic. What Nick takes is an opiate blocking agent that he continues on, and because he was so out of his mind and so craving so profoundly and so desperate, he grabbed a bunch of NORCO, put them in his mouth, but because he was on the opiate blocking agent, didn't feel anything.

1:02:04 Caller Ah, okay.

1:02:04 Adam Where'd he get the NORCO?

1:02:06 Drew I had three that I, he's a drug addict.

1:02:08 Adam Oh, well what are you doing with your extra drugs, and how about standing a moment here?

1:02:11 Caller I got rid of everything and I'm totally like, completely...

1:02:14 Adam Breaks my heart when people flush good drugs. All right, so Nick, not exactly what you call a success story, but...

1:02:21 Drew It's all right, he's okay.

1:02:22 Adam No, I just mean it doesn't, it's not a ringing endorsement for rapid detox. I mean, you gotta get on an airplane, at least you did, you have to pay several thousand dollars, you're still out of it for three days.

1:02:34 Drew See, that's money, that money could have been so much better spent, he could have gotten three months of treatment somewhere for that, easily.

1:02:40 Adam Really?

1:02:40 Drew Really high quality treatment. For six grand?

1:02:42 Adam Three months?

1:02:43 Drew For six grand?

1:02:44 Adam No, no, true.

1:02:46 Drew He could, for six grand...

1:02:47 Adam I'm in the business, I know. There's no six grand, two grand a month at a high quality joint?

1:02:54 Drew At a high quality sober living or residential program, absolutely.

1:02:57 Adam How much is Betty Ford?

1:02:59 Drew That's probably more expensive.

1:03:01 Adam Isn't Betty Ford 10 grand for a month?

1:03:04 Drew I don't know, probably 18 or something.

1:03:05 Adam 18 grand?

1:03:06 Drew That's inpatient. You don't have to spend inpatient the whole time.

1:03:10 Adam You know what? I'd like to go to Betty Ford. You know what? I just want to take...

1:03:15 Drew I'd like you to go to Betty Ford.

1:03:16 Adam No, I just want to take three months. You know? Just go to Betty Ford. Just go there. And it'd be like, what's your drug? Ah, no, no, no. I'm going to be drinking my red wine. I don't have a problem like you people.

1:03:33 Drew Your medicine.

1:03:34 Adam My medicine. I need my medicine. Group, no, encounter group? No, no, group? No, no, no. But yeah, I got my TiVo. I got my red wine. You got to pool, because it gets hot out in Palm Springs. I just need about 12 weeks just to kind of get my head on straight.

1:03:52 Drew Chevy Chase could be your roommate.

1:03:53 Adam Yeah.

1:03:54 Drew You guys would be well together.

1:03:55 Adam I just, I got to sort out some things in my own head.

1:03:58 Drew Yeah.

1:03:58 Adam And I need time. And you know what? I could do it at home, but the phone rings. Old lady wants something. Dog needs to be fed. Everyone's got an idea. You know what I mean?

1:04:07 Drew Yeah, this way, at least it gives you a reason to be unavailable.

1:04:10 Adam Yeah. I'm going to Betty Ford. And it would be awesome, too, because people would be like, Adam said, he was actually just tired. He wanted to read. Oh, people leave you alone. It would be awesome.

1:04:24 Caller Nikki?

1:04:25 Guest Hi.

1:04:26 Adam 25?

1:04:27 Guest 25.

1:04:28 Adam What's up?

1:04:30 Guest I was wondering if after a sex change operation, you could, are you orgasmic? Can you feel what's going on?

1:04:38 Adam After you go which way?

1:04:39 Caller After you become a man?

1:04:41 Guest No, after, like you have a, like a vagina, like when they do that.

1:04:47 Adam Oh, well, see, you're a woman, right?

1:04:49 Guest No, I'm gonna be.

1:04:52 Adam Oh, you're gonna be? Oh, this is, this is Nikki who used to be, used to be Nick.

1:04:58 Guest No, no, well.

1:05:02 Adam All right, but still you have to start, there's a rule, you have to start it with the first letter, at least.

1:05:06 Drew Yeah, international convention.

1:05:07 Adam Right. So you're you're you're pre-op transsexual.

1:05:13 Guest Pretty, yeah.

1:05:14 Adam And are you on hormones?

1:05:18 Drew And what are you taking?

1:05:19 Guest Uh, medraxi, progesterone, estradiol, and sperm lactone.

1:05:25 Drew Okay.

1:05:26 Adam Fantastic. Again, I'm never wrong. Uh, Asian or Jew?

1:05:33 Guest Uh, half Asian. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

1:05:35 Caller Oh, oh, oh.

1:05:38 Guest That's what?

1:05:39 Adam Something. Which which Asian?

1:05:42 Guest Japanese.

1:05:43 Adam Really? Have your parents killed themselves yet?

1:05:47 Guest No. But they they've got really mad.

1:05:51 Adam Yeah, that's that's say. Someone's going to fall on a sword. Tell you that right now. All right. Well, that's good. And what were you molested or something when you were younger?

1:06:03 Drew No. What's that?

1:06:05 Guest No.

1:06:06 Adam Nothing.

1:06:07 Guest Nothing.

1:06:08 Adam You had a good childhood?

1:06:11 Guest Oh, yeah.

1:06:13 Drew What happened? What do you mean? Well, yeah, what happened?

1:06:16 Adam Yeah.

1:06:17 Guest Well, I was a boy for a childhood.

1:06:21 Adam What did you say?

1:06:21 Guest I was a boy.

1:06:22 Adam Oh, she was a boy. Oh, OK. I see.

1:06:25 Guest But apart from that, it was unhealthy.

1:06:28 Adam All right. So when do you want to when do you undergo the surgery? So the whole time you were on the, you know, whole time you're in school and a little boy and everything, you just felt like there was a woman trapped inside of you.

1:06:41 Guest Yeah.

1:06:42 Adam All right. And when when are you going to get the surgery?

1:06:46 Guest Hopefully like a year and a half according to like how I'm saving here.

1:06:52 Adam How much does it cost?

1:06:55 Guest Well, I saw one, I was like nine. I don't. I the last one I looked at, I try not to because it's expensive. It was like twelve.

1:07:06 Adam Twelve thousand. Yeah. OK. You've been researching this for a number of months. How much? It's really like every 20 minute answer.

1:07:16 Drew I said he tries not to look at the price.

1:07:20 Adam All right. I didn't ask whether you attempted to look at it or not. Just give me a base. I'm looking for ballpark on penis lopping.

1:07:26 Caller No, number one, ballpark.

1:07:28 Drew You're funny.

1:07:29 Adam Number two.

1:07:31 Drew Number two, I believe there is still orgasmic function, Nikki. I think you have orgasms now.

1:07:38 Guest Yeah, the way I'm doing it, I could get orgasm.

1:07:42 Drew What do you mean, the way you're doing it? What does that mean? Aren't you sort of lowering your sex drive with all the estrogen?

1:07:51 Guest Not really.

1:07:53 Drew Not really. Okay.

1:07:53 Adam Nikki, you're calling from-

1:07:55 Guest I'm pretty sexual, actually.

1:07:57 Adam You're turning me on. You're calling from San Francisco, so why don't you just get a gig with the city, like DWP or driving a bus or something, and then the taxpayers can foot the bill for it.

1:08:10 Guest I tried. It's hard to get in to be like on the bus or-

1:08:14 Drew He's thought about that.

1:08:15 Adam Yeah. I could imagine, because they pay for it.

1:08:17 Guest I just want to go back to college.

1:08:20 Drew Nikki, what kind of person- what are you going to be once you become a female? You're going to start having sex with men?

1:08:26 Adam Pirate.

1:08:26 Guest I already do.

1:08:28 Drew Yeah, that's the point.

1:08:29 Guest I've been with men for like three years.

1:08:31 Drew Yeah, but you have sex with gay men. When you become a woman, what?

1:08:34 Guest He's not what you call it. I think he's bisexual, I guess, but he was straight. I took him from his girlfriend.

1:08:42 Caller Yeah.

1:08:44 Guest He likes the look of someone who looks like a woman, but with a little baby penis.

1:08:50 Adam Small penis.

1:08:51 Guest Yeah.

1:08:52 Adam Well, you've called the right show. What? Look, this guy's a disaster. I mean, look, let me just say this. Yeah, it's impossible to judge.

1:09:02 Drew You cannot judge. How dare you?

1:09:05 Adam I know it's impossible to judge, but the people that undergo this procedure like Nicky are in one category. And I have this sort of philosophical view of society, which is there's always going to be a couple of nut jobs out there that are interested in doing whatever. Yeah. I'm more interested in the guys that aren't quite that nutty who are attracted to it or date or marry or hang out with. They're even more interesting. It's sort of...

1:09:33 Drew Well, they don't, they don't, you don't talk to them. They're not out there parading around talking about it.

1:09:36 Adam No. And they're the guys...

1:09:38 Drew They're the ones who quietly do this stuff.

1:09:40 Adam Yeah. They're going to work at their jobs and putting their suits on and stuff. And then they sort of, well, I like gay. You know, I like someone, I like someone with those Eartha kid eyebrows and long flowing hair and a penis, but not a big one. What?

1:09:55 Drew Well, you don't ever find out about it because no one will ever know that this was a male. He brings his girlfriend to the office parties.

1:10:01 Adam I just want to know, like, I understand straight and I understand gay and I understand I like black chicks and big boobs and I like big women and all that. Even the anal guys, all those guys. But this one is just what? Look, are you straight? Are you gay? You want some penis, but you want it in a feminine, you know, you want the penis attached to a sort of feminine form like what the? That's fetish. Let me guarantee you something. I could not hang out with this guy. Impossible. Not because I know what he's into and don't like him because I can't, that kind of guy.

1:10:38 Drew You would know it implicitly.

1:10:39 Adam My spidey sense would just be going insane.

1:10:42 Caller Yeah.

1:10:44 Caller Nicky.

1:10:44 Guest You know what's the best part though is I'm not very firm. I watch sports and I play ball and stuff too.

1:10:53 Caller All right.

1:10:54 Guest No. I don't know.

1:10:56 Drew We certainly don't.

1:10:57 Adam Well, you sound like a delight. You two should go on forever, you and your man.

1:11:03 Drew It's mitzvah.

1:11:03 Adam It's a mitzvah. You should talk to the surgeon before he performs the procedure. But I think we talked to Dr. Alter.

1:11:15 Drew Yeah. And they still have orgasms.

1:11:19 Guest I'll be a guinea pig.

1:11:20 Drew My question, Nikki, though, is if you like being with gay men or men who like female forms of small penises, that's what you like having sex with already and you have found those guys, why go through the sex change operation?

1:11:36 Guest Because I don't care about what's on the inside.

1:11:39 Drew But then you're going to attract a different kind of guy.

1:11:43 Guest I'm more about the person. Not really like what's...

1:11:46 Drew Yeah, but they're about you.

1:11:48 Guest Yeah, that's true.

1:11:49 Adam By the way, she's more about what's inside. Meanwhile, she's cutting his penis off and putting a vagina. She's not a material person.

1:11:58 Drew No, the outside doesn't matter. What does it matter? I'm more about what's on the inside.

1:12:01 Adam I'm going to have my penis certainly removed. It's all about what's on the inside and what's on the inside of me is a vagina. Waiting to come out. Once in a while, I have flashbacks to that guy or girl or whatever the hell it was. I didn't see, you remember when we brought that guy in who had that documentary made about him?

1:12:20 Drew Oh my goodness.

1:12:21 Adam What a piece of crap that thing was.

1:12:24 Drew It was a girl who insisted on being a guy.

1:12:26 Adam The angriest person I probably have ever met. Actually, a delightful whimsical combination of super angry and ultra stupid with a nice dusting of sort of religious retardism sprinkled in on top.

1:12:44 Drew Sociopathy, too. You've been lying to people.

1:12:46 Adam Yes. God, did I hate that thing. God, did I hate that person.

1:12:51 Drew And remember, the sex change was gonna solve everything.

1:12:54 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:12:55 Drew That will take care of every problem.

1:12:57 Adam Every problem magically went away.

1:12:59 Drew No.

1:12:59 Adam This is the most bitter, vindictive, just horrible, wretched person I've ever met. Outside of publicist. Yeah. Let's take ourselves a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:13:13 Caller Hello, this is your radio radio. Loveline will be right back. Everyone is reading James Patterson's Maximum Ride. That's what's made it number one. Check it out at maximumride.com. And you might get to hear yourself in a radio commercial.

1:13:43 Adam Everybody, it's time for Sky Weather Track, trying to wear an Accu, Sky Weather Copper Chopper, Chopper, Sky Weather, checking in Sky 5 with AccuView, Cosmades checking in 71, Carson 71, Duarte 71, Monrovia 71, Cerritos checking in 71 degrees, Temple City 71, DeVore and DeVore Pass, okay, that's a long go, look at the brake lights, DeVore Pass, DeVore checking in 71 degrees, Pomona 71, Highland Park 71, Azusa 71, Tarzan 71, Upland 71, Irvine 71, Hawaiian Gardens, Drew 71, 71 degrees, Sunland 71,000 Oaks 71, Million Oaks 71, Hundreds Oaks 71, Tenda, Deca and Terra, checking in 71 degrees, Westlake Village checking in 71 degrees, Weather and Traffic, Traffic and Weather News, Traffic and Weather, Traffic News and Weather and Weather, Traffic and News, all at the top of the hour, quarter hour, half hour, eighth hour, sixteenth hour, and when it breaks, coming to you live in the SkyCamp Chopper 5 of the Acu Lesbo News. Natalie?

1:14:48 Caller Yes.

1:14:49 Adam 23?

1:14:51 Caller Yes.

1:14:51 Drew What's up?

1:14:52 Adam What's happening?

1:14:55 Guest Nothing much, and that's the problem.

1:14:59 Caller I guess I'm what you'd call a lipstick lesbian, very feminine, very, I love being a girl, but I love women, and I have a hard time meeting women who are not butch, you know?

1:15:14 Drew So you like feminine women also?

1:15:16 Caller I like feminine women also.

1:15:21 Adam Yeah, and is there a, well, let's ask our own resident lesbian phone screener, I mean, engineer, Michelle, what...

1:15:31 Drew Where'd she go? What does she do? What is one little one?

1:15:34 Adam Well, is there a shortage of lipstick lesbians?

1:15:39 Caller I live in...

1:15:40 Caller I don't, where is she? What city is she in?

1:15:42 Drew Tucson, Arizona.

1:15:42 Caller I live in Tucson, yeah.

1:15:44 Adam You got plenty of...

1:15:45 Drew No problem?

1:15:46 Caller There's a really great, like, gay scene here, but most of the women that I meet are pretty butch, and I'm not really into that.

1:15:55 Adam Well, let me ask you this, and maybe the lipstick lesbians aren't hanging out and doing the gay scene as much.

1:16:02 Drew It's your lesbian.

1:16:03 Adam Or maybe the lipstick lesbians are a little bit harder to spot because they seem more like straight chicks.

1:16:10 Caller Yeah, don't go to the bars. That's the worst place. What should she do? I mean, she should find friends, and they can introduce you to friends.

1:16:18 Drew So gay friends?

1:16:19 Caller Gay friends, guy friends, or even straight friends, I mean...

1:16:22 Adam Oh, yeah, gay guys.

1:16:23 Caller Well, I have tons of gay male friends, and they introduce me to these women who are big and butch and look like football players.

1:16:32 Adam Yeah. Well, tell them that's not your speed. But here's what I'm asking.

1:16:36 Drew Something about Tucson with the desert tracks?

1:16:38 Adam No. But let me ask you this, Michelle.

1:16:40 Caller Yeah.

1:16:41 Adam What do you think the percentage, okay, you take your lesbian population, what percentage are lipstick lesbians, or just sort of feminine type lesbians, lesbians that like to put on high heels and lipstick?

1:16:56 Caller Yeah, it's probably like a 30 percent to 70 percent.

1:17:00 Adam 30 to what?

1:17:01 Caller 70.

1:17:02 Drew 30 lipstick.

1:17:02 Adam That's a 32, 70.

1:17:04 Drew Yeah.

1:17:04 Adam Okay. Yeah.

1:17:05 Caller And then there's the ones that are in between.

1:17:07 Adam Yeah. There's the-

1:17:08 Caller Androgynous type of-

1:17:09 Drew Yeah.

1:17:10 Adam There's just a sort of chicks that are like, well, not a dyke, not a full blown diesel dyke, I'm not a lipstick lesbian, I don't care. I think that's what I would be if I was a lesbian. Sweatpants lesbian.

1:17:23 Drew That would be you. Yeah.

1:17:24 Caller That's kind of how-

1:17:25 Adam I'm already kind of that, really.

1:17:26 Drew Yeah, you really are. Yeah.

1:17:28 Caller That's kind of how I identify myself.

1:17:30 Adam Yeah. Michelle's like a flip-flop lesbian. She's not getting dolled up, but if she has to, look out.

1:17:36 Caller Yeah, look out. All right.

1:17:37 Adam So here's the thing. As I figured, Natalie's looking for the exception more than the rule, she's having a hard time finding it. Yeah.

1:17:48 Drew Evidently, the exception doesn't hang out at the bars either. No.

1:17:51 Caller Go to the mall behind the makeup counters and the perfume counter.

1:17:58 Drew What?

1:17:58 Adam Oh, really?

1:17:59 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:17:59 Drew Those are lesbians?

1:18:00 Caller Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I found some chicks at the mall.

1:18:04 Drew Well, but not just the mall, but at the department store, at the Bloomingdale's.

1:18:08 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:18:09 Caller Estee Lauder counter.

1:18:11 Drew Those are lesbians.

1:18:12 Adam Well, lipstick. Think about it.

1:18:13 Drew No, I understand.

1:18:14 Adam Right in the title.

1:18:15 Drew Yeah. There it is.

1:18:17 Adam Yeah. Those chicks are, you know, they're always a little obnoxious and they smell too much of perfume, but they're sort of hot. They get the cuties back there sometimes. All right. Hey, Natalie, we don't know where to find you.

1:18:31 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

1:18:31 Adam Yeah. Network. Use your friends.

1:18:34 Caller All right.

1:18:34 Adam And, you know, what can we say? I mean, look, it's no different than if you're straight and you're looking for people. Don't go to a bar. Right. Talk to people you trust. Let them, you know, put the word out there.

1:18:47 Drew Are there any, Michelle, any sort of telltale hobbies or activities or anything that black powder rifles? Oh my God. Well, that's that's the kind that she doesn't like.

1:18:56 Adam Yeah.

1:18:56 Drew Lesbian.

1:18:57 Adam Yeah. Work for, look out for the ones that drive the dog grooming van.

1:19:01 Drew Oh, sometimes those are.

1:19:02 Adam No, no, those are super, super butch.

1:19:07 Drew How about, how about the works of the veterinarian?

1:19:10 Adam Yeah, it's pretty butch too.

1:19:12 Caller Yeah.

1:19:13 Adam Why watch, stay away from the little animal things.

1:19:15 Caller Stick to the malls.

1:19:17 Adam Malls good. What's a, what's a job for a lipstick lesbian? Like, you know, for, like for, like if you're a gay guy, you have, you know, you have to, some stereotypical jobs, but there's a reason, there's a stereotype of flight attendant, publicist, publicist, publicist, publicist, publicist, publicist, publicist, publicist, flight attendant, hairdresser and publicist. Yeah, if you're gay, there's certain jobs you just would do as a gay man. Is there, do you have any, is there any lipstick lesbian gigs that we should know about?

1:19:51 Caller No.

1:19:51 Adam No.

1:19:52 Caller We're everywhere.

1:19:53 Adam Okay.

1:19:54 Drew Others, they're probably strippers and porn stars that do that, though, I bet.

1:19:57 Caller Yeah.

1:19:58 Adam Yeah, but, you know, but they're just, they're sort of effed up and sort of sexually flexible.

1:20:03 Caller All over the place.

1:20:04 Adam If Charlie Sheen wanted to marry him the next day, they'd marry him.

1:20:07 Drew Right, right, right.

1:20:08 Adam You know, and they'd set themselves up in a nice house.

1:20:11 Drew Right, right. Yeah, yeah. All right.

1:20:13 Adam And by the way, Michelle, do you look at the lipstick lesbians as sort of posers or sort of fair-weathered fans of vagina?

1:20:22 Drew In other words, not real lesbians?

1:20:24 Caller No, no, not at all.

1:20:25 Adam You look at them as real.

1:20:26 Caller Beautiful, beautiful women.

1:20:27 Adam Yeah.

1:20:28 Drew Oh, she likes them, she likes them.

1:20:30 Caller Well, my girlfriend is beautiful.

1:20:32 Drew See?

1:20:32 Adam Oh, really?

1:20:33 Drew She likes that.

1:20:33 Adam Nice. Wow, I'm jealous. All right, enough of me. All right, all right. Adrienne?

1:20:40 Guest Yeah.

1:20:41 Adam You're 16?

1:20:42 Guest Well, I'm turning 17 on Saturday.

1:20:44 Drew Fantastic.

1:20:45 Adam Oh, right, you're going to be 17. Okay, what's up?

1:20:48 Guest Well, I watched Dr. Drew's TV show last night, and I was wondering what effect that female sex patch he discussed would have on someone with regular sex drive.

1:20:56 Drew The testosterone patch? It's not, yeah, this is what that is, the testosterone patch. And it's not been studied. And that's one of the concerns people have, is that that's one of the reasons the FDA is holding off on approving it. They're worried that people will start using it sort of recreationally or in sort of inappropriate situations. Obviously, the kinds of things you would get if you were creating higher testosterone levels than normal would be masculinizing effects. So you'd start having hair growth in the wrong places and your voice would lower. You understand? Your sex drive would get a lot higher sometimes, but you would get a lot of other side effects that are less desirable. Clitoris enlarges, lovely things like that.

1:21:37 Adam Clitoral megalo.

1:21:39 Drew Clitoral megalo. What's that, Adrian?

1:21:40 Adam Megaly.

1:21:41 Drew Megaly.

1:21:42 Caller Well, you also said that it was...

1:21:43 Adam My uncle Eubangus said that.

1:21:45 Drew Megaly Eubangus.

1:21:47 Adam Megaly Eubangus. And then there was Clitoral Eubangus. Eubangus. Yeah.

1:21:51 Drew What's that, Adrian?

1:21:53 Guest Well, you said that it also intensified orgasm, so...

1:21:56 Drew Yeah, it can. Are you having trouble having orgasm?

1:22:00 Guest Oh, no. Average, I have like three times when I have sex with my boyfriend.

1:22:05 Drew All right, what's the problem? What's the problem? No, no, don't screw... Listen, these are bad impulses you're having.

1:22:09 Adam Don't monkey.

1:22:10 Drew These things are meant to replace normal hormone levels, not to be used to intensify or to make things sort of extra physiologic.

1:22:17 Adam Well, these are the guys who have perfectly reasonable erectile function, and they want to get... They want to use Viagra.

1:22:26 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

1:22:28 Adam 22-year-old guy with a perfectly good boner. Michelle has no use for it, by the way. But I could use it.

1:22:33 Drew It's a perfectly good one.

1:22:34 Adam Don't throw that out, buddy. I'll use that. Michelle says, fat.

1:22:40 Drew And you say, hey, hey, hey.

1:22:43 Adam All right. Let's take a little break. Yes.

1:22:45 Drew Yes. All right.

1:22:46 Adam We'll be right back after this.

1:22:49 Loveline, OK, wait, wait, wait.

1:22:52 Caller My hair, my hair.

1:22:53 Caller We'll be right back. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

1:23:12 Adam Going to drop trial.

1:23:13 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:23:14 Adam Michelle, he will.

1:23:15 Caller Watch out.

1:23:15 Drew He will.

1:23:16 Caller I will drop trial.

1:23:18 Adam So it's amazing checking in 71, 71 over in Carson, Duarte 71, Monrovia 71. I like when they crack them. Cerrito checking in 71.

1:23:26 Drew Traffic and weather brought to you by Traffic and Weather.

1:23:28 Adam Hey, we got traffic, weather, weather, traffic, traffic, news, traffic, weather, top of the hour. This week's sponsor, Traffic is sponsoring news this week. And the news is gonna go ahead and put the bill for traffic. And then weather is sponsoring traffic, news and weather this week. I tell you what, look out for brake lights in the 405. Watch out for the four pass.

1:23:47 Caller I'm laughing, but it's a laugh of impatience.

1:23:52 Adam Stephanie, 18.

1:23:54 Drew What's up, Stephanie?

1:23:56 Adam Hey, what's up?

1:23:58 Guest I got a question about aversion therapy. I was wondering how effective it is for someone that's going in as a first-time patient.

1:24:05 Drew Aversion for what? For what kind of problem?

1:24:07 Guest For alcoholism?

1:24:08 Drew No, zero. Zero. If there were significantly beneficial, we'd be using it all the time. In fact, as it doesn't work. The only significant advance we've had in the last couple of years is a medicine called Campral that hits the GABA-A receptor in the drive centers of the brain. It actually reverses some of the change.

1:24:25 Adam GABA-A up in Chopper 5 at the Mega Action News.

1:24:29 Drew In Campral, you have to take two tablets three times a day, but I've had some dramatic response with that medicine. In fact, I was talking to one of my patients today.

1:24:35 Adam What is aversion therapy? You throw up if you touch alcohol.

1:24:40 Drew And people have tried.

1:24:40 Adam Doesn't work, they push through it. What does it do?

1:24:43 Drew It just doesn't, it makes you not wanna, listen, alcohol is its own aversion therapy. You drink, you vomit, people all never drink again, and you do. Yeah. It just doesn't work for these people.

1:24:52 Adam That's why I never make that announcement. I go, I might not drink again, but I always do might. I don't say never.

1:24:58 Drew You don't wanna be called a liar.

1:24:59 Adam No, I do this. I should never drink again, but I say I qualify it with a should or might not or probably aren't going to.

1:25:06 Drew But you knew better than to say, God, I will never.

1:25:08 Adam No, no, because I don't wanna go back on my word. Yeah.

1:25:11 Drew But Stephanie, look, get treated.

1:25:13 Adam I'm probably not gonna do this for a while.

1:25:16 Drew Ask if there were magical, every alcoholic wants an easier kind of way out. Every addict wants to substitute something else for their alcohol. Every addict wants to know why they drink or why they use. This one medication has been very useful. Again, I was talking to a patient today who was constantly prepped for cravings and the cravings went away. She said she had a very stressful and emotional day yesterday, which normally triggers her cravings and she had nothing. It was shocked. It can be very helpful for them. Not to say that that's a substitute for recovery. She has to go to sober living. She's working a program, but it's a good adjunctive therapy and a new advancement to the cognitive behavioral interventions and the 12-step.

1:25:58 Guest What about Scientology?

1:26:01 Adam How about just doing the work?

1:26:04 Drew You're searching for a way out. There are things that work. We know what works. Go take the treatment.

1:26:10 Adam What about the Kabbalah? You got that piece of string tying around your hand. It's awesome, man. That's the Kabbalah.

1:26:19 Drew Whatever. Here's what I understand. What do people think that those of us that work in this field are doing? Are we withholding effective treatments? Are we willing to try? We try everything, anything we can do to help these patients. And there are certain things that work. And that's that. And that's it. And if everything else doesn't work, we would use it. We'd use it like crazy.

1:26:42 Adam Well, here's the problem. One is people don't want to do the work, whether it's getting sober or it's going on a diet, you know? I mean, think about what the diet pill, fad diet, fad workout, whatever industry is every year versus look, there's a stretch of beach down the street from your house. Feel free to run on it. And here's some brocca flower. You can munch on on the way. Well, who the hell wants to do that? So then comes this industry. And it's that way with, you know, just about everything. And I don't really blame people. And then the problem is, is 2020 does some sort of story once in a while on some diet pill out of France and uh-oh. Yeah, maybe this is it.

1:27:27 Drew Yeah, not only that, but here's it then. But it's the same thinking that, oh my God, they put me on a diet pill. I had to go sue them. And I went, wait, no, come on. We know it works.

1:27:36 Adam Please come on. All I'm saying is, as long as there's somebody out there that has a less painful and easier avenue for you to go down to, you become like water just flowing down the street. You hit an obstacle. You're not going over it. You just get diverted. You're just looking, oh, you just want an easier path.

1:27:57 Drew Ease your kinder, yep.

1:27:58 Adam Yeah, that's how everyone wants to stop doing something imagines it. All right, Dave?

1:28:05 Yes.

1:28:06 Adam 24?

1:28:07 Drew Yep. But hang on a second, Dave, but think how then vulnerable people are to these scams and stuff.

1:28:13 Adam Yeah, now they, they are.

1:28:16 Drew That's why there's a million diet books out there, I guess.

1:28:18 Adam Right, and they never, whether it's grow hair where there was none before or lose inches without doing sit-ups or whatever it is, you know, look 20 years younger over the night. They, there's part, there's a part of them in the back of their mind that probably realize it's not going to work.

1:28:33 Drew Yeah.

1:28:35 Adam I mean, people can't be that stupid, can they?

1:28:37 Drew I don't know.

1:28:39 Adam Well, I do. Oh, no, wait, they are stupid. Dave?

1:28:42 Yes.

1:28:43 Adam You're 24?

1:28:45 Caller Yep.

1:28:46 Drew Speaking of easier, kinder ways.

1:28:47 Adam Safe and natural alternatives to penis enlargement?

1:28:52 Caller Yes.

1:28:52 Adam I mean, none, you know, nothing, nothing.

1:28:56 Caller So are those pills on TV fake?

1:28:58 Drew Yes. Yes.

1:29:00 Adam Some of them work, but I won't tell you which ones. So you got to try them all. Yeah, nothing works. If they work, they'd be $7 million a bottle.

1:29:10 Drew Right.

1:29:10 Adam And every, every, every one of those, every one of those guys in the, all the Sultans and the other guys, all those guys, they would gobble up the entire market. We wouldn't have any. Yeah. Yeah, they don't work, Dave. What are you coming in at? Well, what size is your penis?

1:29:34 Caller I'm a six inch.

1:29:36 Drew Normal. So that's normal.

1:29:38 Caller I'm normal. That's normal. All right. Does the size matter or is that like-

1:29:42 Drew No, it doesn't matter. What matters is about your self-esteem and your sense of your own worth and your purpose and place in life. So why don't you work on that and all of a sudden, magically, the penis will be much less important to you.

1:29:52 Caller Yeah.

1:29:53 Adam Or unless you're doing gay porn. No.

1:29:55 Drew Then it matters.

1:29:56 Adam It's a pretty important factor. What are you doing? Are you doing gay porn?

1:30:01 Caller I'm sorry. Yeah, you're breaking up.

1:30:03 Adam Are you doing porn right now?

1:30:05 Caller No, I'm no. I'm nothing like that. I'm straight.

1:30:08 Adam Okay. What do you do for a living? Car stereos.

1:30:12 Caller I'm a massage therapist.

1:30:14 Adam Massage therapist?

1:30:15 Caller Yeah.

1:30:16 Adam Nice. You know, I store all my tension in my back, they always tell me, as opposed to a shoe box that I keep under my bed or my eyelids. Yeah.

1:30:26 Drew There is a guy out here doing about 14 of those penis enlargements a week and he basically cuts the tendon that, the ligament rather, holds the penis up and lets it come forward about an inch. It gives you an inch in length and then he sews a basically a pop tart under the skin, it's cadaver tissue, and gives you another inch in girth.

1:30:46 Adam Awesome.

1:30:47 Drew That's out there.

1:30:48 Adam What do you charge for a massage?

1:30:52 Caller Right now I charge $75 in alcohol for an hour.

1:30:57 Adam It's a solid hour and that's you coming to the person's house?

1:31:00 Caller Yeah. Normally I charge $55 if they come to me, but since I'm making the drive, it depends where they live.

1:31:06 Adam Yeah.

1:31:07 Caller But yeah, I make good money doing that.

1:31:09 Adam All right.

1:31:10 Drew We should have massage therapists here every night.

1:31:12 Adam Do they tip you? Remember I had to threaten to quit so we can get coffee?

1:31:16 Drew Yes.

1:31:17 Adam Remember that one?

1:31:18 Drew Yes.

1:31:19 Adam It was awesome. I was like, hey, can we have some decent coffee in this dump? Because Drew and I are coffee drinkers and we work late night and they're like, let me think about it. No. And then I was like-

1:31:30 Drew It's a bad precedent.

1:31:31 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Because the next thing you know, the DJs are going to want some Triscuits and then you got-

1:31:39 Drew Our massage therapist.

1:31:40 Adam And before you know it, someone spent eight bucks on something. Radio is such a dump by the way. It's nothing like TV. Oh my god. Here anyway, here's the point. We wanted some decent coffee. They said no. And we ate the bad coffee for like eight years. And then eventually I said, we're going to need some good coffee or I'm going to quit. And they're like, well, now we're going to think about it. And then I really threatened to quit. I said, look, either we're getting a Starbucks and we're not paying for it, by the way, or I'm going to quit. And then my agent said he would pay for it. So I wouldn't quit. But then I told him he couldn't pay for it because he probably is, by the way. But I told him it's principle. I want the station to pay for it. And eventually I think they broke down and got us some coffee. Is that what happened? It's awesome. Yeah. You know, here's the radio station. It's like, radio stations like the NRA. They just fight on everything. And then you never bring anything up again. Like here's the deal. You work for a radio station. You shell out 15 bucks for some batteries because you're out on the road doing some remotes or some DAT tapes or something. It's like, yeah, you guys owe me 15. We're going to need invoices on that in triplicate. OK, where's the where's the. There should be. We're out of the invoices. You're going to have to have those drafted by your own attorney at your own cost. They get they they they nickel and dime you to such an extent that the next time you go out and buy your batteries and DATs on the road, you just eat it.

1:33:08 Drew It's like an insurance company.

1:33:09 Adam They beat the crap out of you and you just start eating it. They're like the NRA. We go, look, we want to make these grenade launchers with the 50-round banana clip. Oh, no, not so fast. And then you argue about it for such a long time. And then later on, you want to talk about some real topic. You can't even do it. That's what radio does. They, they, they, they, they cry like stuck pigs over some goddamn coffee. And you're now you're scared.

1:33:33 Drew Could you imagine what insurance companies do too?

1:33:35 Adam Right. Now can imagine, imagine going down the hole and saying, hey, you know, we'd like some crackers too. Oh, forget about it. That would be a six month battle. Now you couldn't do that.

1:33:45 Drew Let's go get some baby Ruth.

1:33:46 Adam All right. We'll be back after this. Well, that's it. That's the show.

1:34:26 Drew At least you'll always have traffic and weather, Adam. You will.

1:34:28 Adam Yeah, gotta get out the car for the, well, right at the top of the hour. That's when they usually break for traffic.

1:34:33 Drew Let's go hear it. Yeah, let's go.

1:34:34 Caller Yeah.

1:34:36 Adam I wanna thank, who do I wanna thank? Engineer Anderson for doing a fantabulous job all week. I wanna thank Michelle for doing a great job, and engineer Chris and producer Ann, and junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, producer Lauren. Only five juniors.

1:34:57 Drew She lost about 47.

1:34:58 Adam She really gets obsessed about the amount of juniors that go in before that.

1:35:02 Drew She should be doing cartwheels after this.

1:35:04 Adam Doing a wonderful job all week. Who's our phone screener? Yeah, who?

1:35:11 Drew Patty.

1:35:11 Adam Oh, Patty. Yeah, Patricia. That's how I know her by. Good job, Patricia. And who else? Phone screener. Oh, engineer Vic.

1:35:19 Drew Chris.

1:35:20 Adam Chris. I got Vic.

1:35:22 Drew Rick. Rick.

1:35:23 Adam Yeah, everybody. You know who you are.

1:35:25 Drew Good times.

1:35:26 Adam Hey, thank yourself. What do you need me for? So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:35:34 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:35:39 Caller The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station.

1:35:46 Caller The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, June 30, 2005