Episode 1000717390115

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

1:01 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:04 Voiceover Sexually-oriented content.

1:07 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:08 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:13 Voiceover This is Loveline.

1:17 Voiceover With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:20 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline, a man of... That's Dr. Bruce. Bruce filling in for Dr. Drew. Always doing the yeoman's job. Yeah.

1:30 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:31 Adam Bruce in the hissy.

1:32 Dr. Bruce We'll look up yeoman again on the Google search.

1:34 Adam Did we do that before? What did we figure out? Other than a minute, good job.

1:39 Dr. Bruce Yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone in training to do a good job or something like that.

1:42 Adam Yeah.

1:43 Dr. Bruce I'll take it.

1:44 Adam Bruce, smarter than Dr. Drew. You heard it here first.

1:49 Dr. Bruce That's the only place I'll hear it.

1:50 Adam And a better doctor than Dr. Drew.

1:52 Dr. Bruce Oh, thank you, Adam.

1:53 Adam Board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Not the genesequoia that Dr. Drew possesses, but a better overall technician than Dr. Drew. Oh, yes.

2:06 Dr. Bruce Yeah, you know, you have to make your little refinements to the definitions of...

2:11 Adam No, I'll tell you the thing about Bruce. Bruce knows. Bruce is a nuts and bolts doctor. Do I ask him questions? He gives you answers. Drew's a lot of, oh, I'll have to look that up.

2:23 Dr. Bruce I've never heard him say that.

2:25 Adam Well, I just made that up. Because he's not here.

2:30 Dr. Bruce He's listening in Vermont, though.

2:31 Adam Oh, he is? Here's the point. You know, everyone's got to go look something up. I like Bruce because he doesn't have to look anything up. You go to the stereo store and you're like, is this a monitor or is this a television set? Uh, let me check on that.

2:51 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

2:51 Adam Is this got speakers built in or do I need to add speakers? Let me check with my, let me check with my, everyone's got to check with everyone.

3:00 Dr. Bruce It's a bad sign.

3:01 Adam For everything, all the time. It means society's going into the gutter. You know why? You know when this happened? When stuff started staying open seven days a week and 24 hours a day. Now we got a bunch of Nimrods that need to check on everything. The V6, you got the straight four, that's got 150 horsepower. What's the V6 option have? Let me check on that.

3:24 Dr. Bruce Really?

3:24 Adam There's three models you deal with.

3:26 Dr. Bruce You don't want to know?

3:29 Adam What's with the people that just run and hide from information? Most women are this way, but it's like they see information and they're like, all of a sudden they become like Gale Sayers or OJ. They duck it, they move, the information starts chasing them so they do a shoulder roll over the sofa and dive through a plate glass window and go screaming down the street. If you work at a car dealership, how about you just go ahead and find out what the goddamn V6 puts out?

3:57 Dr. Bruce There's a limited amount of information there, but doctors take classes though in how to approach or answer something when you're not completely sure and give the patient confidence.

4:06 Adam Yes, they don't know.

4:07 Dr. Bruce Confidence.

4:07 Adam A lot of them are like attorneys, but not you. Attorneys don't know ass. I've never met an attorney that actually had an answer.

4:13 Dr. Bruce Yeah, they've got a calculator. They know what percentage of the hour they talk to.

4:17 Adam Oh, they just, they get there. They're on the golf course and raping you simultaneously. That's all those a-holes do. I'm really starting to lump them in with publicists, Chris, which is really the worst thing I can say about a human being or even an animal.

4:29 Dr. Bruce People don't know how bad that is, what you just saw.

4:33 Adam If I start lumping you in with publicists, it's time for you just to kill yourself. And by the way, not put a gun in your mouth, burn yourself alive like a noobie.

4:41 Dr. Bruce Don't leave a trace. No, I know.

4:43 Adam Publicists.

4:44 Dr. Bruce Bad times.

4:45 Adam Like you're protesting the Vietnam War.

4:47 Dr. Bruce Did a publicist molest you?

4:49 Adam They're such worthless, vile pieces of steaming ass. I just can't stand those worthless people.

4:55 Dr. Bruce They're the motor that drives the business.

4:56 Adam Oh, they're, okay. Idiots. Chris?

5:00 Yeah.

5:01 Adam 24? Yeah. I just got out of prison?

5:04 Yeah, but the raping thing, I made that up. See, I wanted to talk to you because when I was in prison, right? On lockdown.

5:11 Adam You were on lockdown?

5:13 Yeah, yeah, on lockdown. That means you stay in yourself for 23 hours a day.

5:17 Adam 23 hours a day?

5:19 Yeah.

5:20 Adam Which would be cool if there were like 100 hours in the day? But there's only one more.

5:25 No, that wouldn't be cool.

5:26 Adam No, I mean, if there was 100 hours in the day and you had to stay in for 23, it wouldn't be so bad.

5:31 Oh, yeah.

5:31 Adam It would be less than a quarter.

5:32 Yeah.

5:33 Adam So, lockdown in the one hour a day that you get out, what do you get to do?

5:40 Shower.

5:41 Adam And what else? Nothing?

5:42 Nothing. Shower, that's it.

5:44 Adam No B-ball, no weight lifting, no nothing like that?

5:47 See, it's a complicated system, you know what I'm saying? But you know the reason why I went there is because I remember you had a, what's your name when I was on lockdown, right? This guy told me, hey man, you should share the love line. I said, what the hell is that? So it's a funny shot. I said, all right, cool. So I started listening to it, right?

6:03 Adam You're talking about the second, Chris, we have to reboot. Look, I appreciate you being a fan of the show and I'm sure you listen to it plenty when you're in lockdown. I'll bet you never heard the MF or word come flying out.

6:19 Dr. Bruce No.

6:19 Adam Through the radio. So that should be a clue.

6:21 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

6:22 Adam Can't use the S word, can't use the F word. Although I do realize it's confusing because this show is so vile, so foul, so filled with just scatological bio-putrid rages that you would think what, you know, if I just sat here and yelled S and F for two hours, it would be a welcome reprieve for many of the listeners.

6:48 Dr. Bruce It's a bit of an aging to the innocent mind, I think.

6:50 Adam Absolutely.

6:51 Dr. Bruce But you have it. You've got the FCC filter.

6:53 Adam Yeah.

6:54 Dr. Bruce Yeah, you've got it down.

6:55 Adam Chris?

6:56 Yeah, so what's up?

6:57 Adam Oh, not yet. Anderson says.

7:00 What?

7:01 Adam He's angry. Now Anderson used the F word. All right. Are you good? I want to talk to Chris. Come on. He's paid his debt to society.

7:16 Dr. Bruce Talk about what a great guy Anderson is, what a talented guy he is while we're waiting to talk to Chris.

7:20 Adam Anderson's salt of the earth.

7:22 Dr. Bruce Anderson is.

7:23 Adam Yeah.

7:24 Dr. Bruce He's the third member of this team on this show.

7:26 I'm talking to junior, junior, junior producer Lauren right now.

7:29 And I was afraid I had missed it.

7:31 So that's why I'm okay.

7:32 Adam All right.

7:33 Well, you tell us your business here.

7:35 Adam Are you ready? You're ready to go? Yeah, we're good. And by the way, what happened to the other 18 juniors? You're supposed to attach to Lauren's name. A second. Lazy people. Because I'll explain something when you're talking about junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior producer Lauren. All it takes is one slip up where instead of 23 juniors, you use, I don't know, 19 juniors. And the next thing you know, we're down to 11 juniors.

8:03 Dr. Bruce Can't you find a female tense of this juniors? I don't like. Yeah, Chris.

8:09 Adam Chris, do not swear.

8:11 OK, I ain't going to.

8:13 Adam OK, we're not the warden. So so let me ask you this. How long and how do you get into lockdown, though? You have to be a troublemaker, right?

8:21 I see that there's there's two types of lockdowns. You got a behavioral lockdown and you got an institutional lockdown.

8:30 Adam What's the what's the institutional lockdown?

8:33 That means every six months they do for a shakedown. I guess if you have any shanks or or drugs or anything like that.

8:39 Adam And how long does the institutional lockdown last for?

8:43 About maybe two weeks.

8:45 Adam Two weeks. Yeah. OK. And you were there for the institutional lockdown?

8:49 Both.

8:50 Adam Oh, both. Well, what was the behavior problem you had?

8:54 I mean, no, no, not for me, you know what I'm saying? Just in general on the on the unit, like the warden, let's just say, for example, the riot kicked off. They would they would shut the whole unit down.

9:03 Adam I see.

9:03 Okay.

9:04 Adam Where were you, by the way?

9:06 I've been in different units.

9:08 Adam Oh, okay.

9:09 Because I'm from the Texas prison system, you know what I'm saying? There's a hundred and like fifty prisons.

9:15 Dr. Bruce Is that a youth authority or the?

9:18 In all of Texas.

9:20 Dr. Bruce Yeah, they got youth authority in California. We should give a shout out to youth authority, UIA. I used to go there and do tattoo removal.

9:26 Adam Nice.

9:26 Dr. Bruce A lot of great guys.

9:27 We were right next to California and the systems.

9:31 Dr. Bruce Right. So what's the deal with the license plate you're talking about?

9:34 Oh, yeah. That's what I got my date for. See, I was I was on parole already. You know what I'm saying? On the road, right? And then this police pulls me over because I don't have a driver's, I mean, a front license plate.

9:47 Adam Yeah.

9:48 And I don't have a driver's license. So that's it right there. Boom. They sent me back.

9:53 Adam Wow. Well, you're not supposed to be driving without a front license plate or a driver's license, although, let me just say this. And Chris, how long did you have to go in when they pulled you over for that with the parole violation?

10:06 About two years.

10:07 Adam Two years?

10:09 Dr. Bruce Yeah. Jeez.

10:10 All right.

10:10 Adam But now what's up? Are you out?

10:12 Yeah, I'm out now.

10:13 Adam What's the plan?

10:15 Well, they got me on the monitor.

10:17 Adam Ah, they got the ankle bracelet on you?

10:18 Yeah, house arrest. I can't even go to my front yard.

10:22 Adam And then what? Are you going to get a job?

10:24 Well, that's what I mean. The monitor is kicking me from that, you know what I'm saying?

10:28 Adam Yeah, but eventually they'll take the monitor off and you'll get a job, right?

10:32 Yeah, yeah. Of course.

10:33 Dr. Bruce Okay.

10:34 Adam Did you, ironically, did you make any license plates when you're in the joint?

10:38 Oh, no, they don't do that stuff.

10:39 Adam Oh, okay. We do it out here.

10:40 Dr. Bruce All right, wait. Let's ask him about putting tattoos on in prison.

10:44 Adam But thanks for listening from the joint. Appreciate that.

10:46 Oh, yeah, because the guy with, you know what I'm saying? I was like, man, all right, you know what I'm saying? I got bored one day. I said, I'm going to check it out.

10:54 Adam Did you have TV in your room or just radio?

10:57 Just radio. They sell radios on commissary, but you can have a day room TV. And then if you don't have a day room, pretty much you can't watch TV. Yeah.

11:05 Adam You know, by the way, it's always a bad sign when you're living somewhere that has a TV and a big thick sheet of lexan in front of it.

11:12 Oh, yeah.

11:14 Adam It just means wherever you're staying isn't a great place, even if it's just a hotel.

11:18 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

11:18 Adam It's just bad when they have that bulletproof glass in front of the actual TV and then that weird cage outside of it.

11:24 Dr. Bruce Who decides what you're going to watch, though? That's what I'd like to know.

11:27 Adam Yeah.

11:27 And you can't even hear it.

11:29 Adam Oh, yeah. But who gets to pick what's on?

11:33 Uh, the majority.

11:35 Adam Oh, okay. All right. Like, for instance, I like to watch Blowout. It's a show about a hairdresser on Bravo. How do you think that might work? Like, I'll be like, I don't care if there's arena football on, lads. I'd like to watch Bravo. Blowout's an excellent program.

11:50 Dr. Bruce Who's, who hears?

11:51 Adam No, no, it's not, it's not, yeah, it's not, it's, it's, it's stylist. It's not haircut.

11:56 Dr. Bruce Yeah, right.

11:57 Adam All right.

11:58 Dr. Bruce Then over that evening.

11:59 Adam All right.

11:59 Dr. Bruce Monster Garage will go off.

12:01 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's probably better.

12:03 Dr. Bruce Good episode today.

12:04 Adam Yeah. Are you ready to go?

12:05 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

12:07 Adam Chris in the joint. I heard some sort of crazy, staggering statistic the other day that like one in, I don't know, it was like some like one in 19 adult males in the joint or something, something insane. Like, I mean, maybe it was 26 or something like just insane, insane. Well, it's high.

12:34 Dr. Bruce I mean, it's, that's what a lot of the controversy is about putting people in prison and three strikes rule.

12:40 Adam Yeah, Chris, look that up on the internet there. But it would, whatever the number was, it was exceedingly low. Like I thought, like if you would have said to me, how many adult males are in jail? You know, I don't know. Maybe it was something about, you know, between the age of, you know, 19 and 40 or something. I would have went, I don't know, one in 20,000 or something like that. No, it was like one in 50 or one in 28 or something like that.

13:04 Twenty five percent of the entire population in prison in the world is American.

13:09 Adam Say it again.

13:10 We have 25 percent of the world's prison population in America.

13:13 Adam Oh, yeah.

13:14 Dr. Bruce Yeah. How many of those are pot smokers? Let's face it.

13:16 Adam Well, a lot of them are just there for consensual crimes. You know what I mean? The victimless crimes. Yeah. Like no front license plate. Chicken ass. What goes on? And how come no one gets upset about this? You know what I mean?

13:31 Dr. Bruce Well, they get upset.

13:33 Adam Well, I mean, the percentage of people that are behind bars in this country for who don't pose any threat to anybody is insane.

13:41 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

13:41 Adam And the amount of tickets and violations and just general police work done for nothing. I mean, whenever whenever you you know, when we had Heidi Fleiss in here many years ago, they had whole task forces set up. They had, you know, 30 guys posing as Asian businessmen who would go see the girls and start dating the girls and have parties with the girls. Do you think we give a rat's ass about that? Start taking down perps, you pussies.

14:07 Dr. Bruce Like the guy that killed a cop in LA here last week?

14:10 Adam Yeah.

14:10 Dr. Bruce He put out his rap sheet. It's a mile long used out on parole for attempted murder.

14:15 Adam Sure. And now we got to make room.

14:17 Dr. Bruce It's an attorney's fault.

14:18 Adam Well, no, we got to make room in the prison. We have to turn people out because some guy got caught selling peyote to Grateful Dead concert. We got to make room for his hippie ass.

14:29 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

14:30 Adam What is that?

14:31 Dr. Bruce It's injustice.

14:33 Adam But do we not see any difference between people that pose a violent threat to society and people who are just like having sex with strangers and paying money? You know what I mean? I mean, the people, can't we all just, I mean, is there anyone who would disagree with this statement? Hey, if you want to sit home at your house and drink beer and smoke weed and masturbate to, you know, German stump porn, that's fine. Just don't wander into my yard and try to break into my house. You know what I'm saying?

15:05 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

15:05 Adam Right?

15:06 Dr. Bruce I agree.

15:07 Adam I mean, if you pose no threat, then God bless you. If you want to kill yourself, I feel badly for you and somebody should intervene, but it's not my problem. You pose no threat.

15:18 Dr. Bruce Yeah, the system's broken and has to be fixed, but.

15:20 Adam Thank you.

15:21 Dr. Bruce Yes.

15:22 Adam Tony?

15:23 Yeah.

15:24 Adam You're 19?

15:25 Caller Yep.

15:27 Adam What's happening?

15:28 Caller My question is, is there a problem with me if it turns out that every guy I've been intimate with has a history of sexual abuse?

15:36 Adam Yes. Let's move on. Speak to Matt, who's 17. Matt?

15:44 Yeah.

15:45 Adam What?

15:45 Dr. Bruce That's a teachable moment for, oh my God, she's gone.

15:49 Adam Well, she wanted to know.

15:51 Dr. Bruce Yeah, but that would be a very interesting history.

15:52 Adam I mean, was she asked a yes or no question? Hold on. Is she there? She's gone? What was her name? Tony?

16:00 Dr. Bruce I was so quick. I didn't get her. She's moved on. Yeah. So of course she's got a history of some sort of abuse or boundary violation herself.

16:06 Adam Well, that wasn't the question. I'm answering the question.

16:10 Dr. Bruce All right.

16:10 Adam Matt?

16:11 Yes.

16:12 Adam What's up, Matt?

16:13 What's up, man? How's it going, guys?

16:16 Adam It's going good.

16:17 That's fantastic. I just want to say I'm a long-time listener. I love you guys. I listen to you every night.

16:22 Adam Thank you. And I thank you on Drew's behalf because I know the compliment had nothing to do with Bruce.

16:29 Bruce is pretty good.

16:30 Adam Yeah.

16:30 Dr. Bruce Hey, thanks, buddy.

16:33 Adam Yeah.

16:33 Dr. Bruce You should sit in here with Adam for two hours and enjoy his... It's got to be hell. Yeah. It's tough. He's funny, but it's tough. Yeah.

16:41 Yeah. You may be... You may... People may think you're dickhead, but hey, you make me laugh.

16:46 Dr. Bruce You're talking to me or Adam?

16:48 Adam I don't know. I've had an ass full of that, too.

16:51 Dr. Bruce Come on. He's got a good question.

16:53 Adam I don't care.

16:55 Dr. Bruce You could dole it out, but you can't take it for a second.

16:58 Adam Draws hardcore gay comic books with 14-year-old images.

17:01 Dr. Bruce I'll go for it.

17:02 Adam Matt, you can hang on until I'm in a better mood. Fee? Fee?

17:07 Dr. Bruce Fie.

17:08 Caller Fie?

17:09 Adam Foe?

17:10 Caller Foe. I smell the blood of an Englishman. What?

17:17 Dr. Bruce It's like Adam.

17:18 Adam Corolla, what's your name?

17:21 My name is Fiona.

17:22 Adam Oh, Fiona. The people call you Fee.

17:25 Yeah, people call me Fee.

17:26 Dr. Bruce You must have loved Shrek.

17:29 I hate Shrek.

17:30 Adam Okay. Well, what's going on, Fee?

17:33 Well, Mike, I've heard you guys talk about to strippers that strippers who strip for so long, they start to hate men and all these kind of sexual components.

17:43 Adam They usually have issues with men before they get into dancing. But but keep going.

17:51 Dr. Bruce It's great radio. Uh, hello?

18:11 Adam What happened?

18:12 Dr. Bruce I don't know.

18:13 Adam Wow.

18:15 Dr. Bruce Maybe she was a stripper, and you insulted her.

18:18 Adam Well, that wasn't really a, um... No, that's......negative exchange we had, was it?

18:22 Dr. Bruce Not at all. Maybe there was an earthquake somewhere in it.

18:25 Adam Does it take a while to hang up? Did she just hang up?

18:28 Dr. Bruce No, I didn't hear anything.

18:30 Adam That was more like some madman cut the phone lines.

18:33 Dr. Bruce That's strange.

18:34 Caller You know what I mean?

18:36 Dr. Bruce Well, we're off to a good start.

18:38 Adam What happened to scary movies where they would clip the phone line? That was a big deal. I don't seem to bother with the phones anymore.

18:44 Dr. Bruce They just take out a chainsaw and cut the person's head off.

18:47 Adam Yeah, I think the cell phones did away with that.

18:51 Dr. Bruce Cell phones affected a lot of those kinds of scenarios.

18:52 Adam Every good scary movie would see the weirdo going back, snip the lines, and then a second later, the person, hello, hello, and they would keep banging over.

19:00 Caller Right. Hello. Hello.

19:03 Dr. Bruce But I can't do that anymore.

19:04 Adam No, no, no. It's got a cell phone. Yeah, you could never like murder Paris Hilton because she's always on cell phone. She's always on her cell phone. I've never I've seen her like eight times and have never not seen her on her cell phone.

19:20 Dr. Bruce Is that right? Yeah.

19:23 Adam It was it was awesome. One time I did this like celebrity go kart race for Super Bowl, whatever, two years ago. And she was going to be the official flag girl. And the guy gave that real stupid, important speech. You know, it's like, look, what we're doing out there is dangerous. People can get hurt. So it's important that you follow the rules. And now I've spoke to Paris. Paris is going to be flag girl. Paris is taking it very seriously. Paris is going to be working on their phone. Wearing that flag. Paris, Paris, Paris. She's talking on cell phone in the back, like turn to the, turn to the guy. She's talking on her cell phone, like at the dentist and stuff.

19:55 Caller She'd be just like, ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

19:57 Dr. Bruce Can you imagine what the conversation is like?

19:59 Adam No, no, no.

20:02 Dr. Bruce Very depressing.

20:02 Adam I imagine it's just like you, it's just like you blew into a douche bag and then jumped onto it. That's what comes out of her.

20:12 Caller Wow.

20:12 Dr. Bruce Jason, an analogy.

20:14 Yeah.

20:15 Adam 27?

20:17 How you guys doing?

20:18 Caller Good.

20:19 Adam You have a dad who's 51?

20:21 Dr. Bruce Yep.

20:22 Adam And he's going to marry a 23-year-old woman?

20:25 Yes, he is.

20:26 Adam Do you know the woman?

20:29 Dr. Bruce No, I don't.

20:30 Adam You've never met her?

20:32 No, I've met her. I actually lived in the same city as him about two and a half years ago. Then I moved to Huntington and that's about when that relationship started. And I don't like going over there because of it really.

20:48 Adam Really? You just feel sort of embarrassing or your dad's kind of pathetic?

20:53 Well, see, my sister's 23. She was living with him at the time and she moved out because she was so disgusted by it.

21:01 Adam Well, first off, he and your mom, what happened there? Did he get caught cheating? Did she break up with him?

21:08 They were married for 23 years and my mom just ended the relationship. I mean, I agree with her that she did. I mean, my dad really didn't do me. He wasn't a bad guy, but he didn't really, he wasn't really a husband.

21:24 Adam Well, here's the whole thing. If your dad dumped your mom and took up with his 23-year-old secretary, I would have a beef.

21:39 Dr. Bruce Right.

21:39 Adam If your mom said, I've had enough of this relationship and moved on and your dad started dating someone else, to me, it almost doesn't matter what age they are once they're over 21. Now, this is a little bit borderline, although it happens all the time, still a little bit borderline, but to me, it's all about the motivation.

21:59 Dr. Bruce Right.

22:00 Adam Once your dad is single, then in my mind, he can date whoever he wants. And yeah, you know.

22:07 And that's perfectly okay. I don't have a problem with that. But I, my sisters kind of got over it. You know, she thinks it's pretty gross, though, but she's over. But I find out they were getting married. I was physically just emotionally upset and mad about it. Yeah. She has a son that has the same name as me, which is really weird.

22:26 Adam She, she has a four year old son, named Jason Michael.

22:31 My name is Jason Michael.

22:32 Dr. Bruce But either you sound like a pretty self-actualized 27 year old that's very responsible. And if just the fact that you've got good enough boundaries and common sense, you know, you could turn it around and say, well, your mom and dad did something right with you. Sounds like he's maybe having a midlife crisis. So in other words, if he led a responsible first half of his life and now he can't handle the being in his fifties and he's...

22:54 Adam No, no, no, listen, quiet down. Don't listen to him. It's horrible. I don't even know what you're saying. I tune you out. Yes, I shun you.

23:02 I just don't want this to...

23:03 Adam No, here's the thing. Here's the thing, Jason. Obviously you have some issues with your dad. That's fine. I mean, he wasn't the greatest dad and there's issues because if he was the greatest dad growing up and you really respected him growing up, then if you did something like this, you'd be sort of disappointed by it, but you wouldn't be sort of disgusted by it. So it seems like this is opening up a wound or tearing the scab off of sort of some old stuff where maybe he wasn't a perfect dad.

23:35 Caller I mean, he was good. He was my little league coach and I don't think he ever did anything wrong, but I just don't think he maybe did enough.

23:41 Adam Well, here's the first off, I don't let you hang out with my dad. You would kiss this guy's feet.

23:48 Dr. Bruce Your dad's great.

23:49 Adam Oh yes, great guy. You're not a great, you know, he's no good for dad, but he's fine for a guy. Worthless dad.

23:58 Dr. Bruce Listen.

24:00 Adam So, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, quiet down. Let me address this. Look, Jason, I really do think you're up on your high horse about this a little bit. I think the fact that he wants to marry her is actually sort of shows at least he's serious. I mean, I mean, it's not, it's not like he's just dating some 23 year old. Maybe he has, he has actual feelings for her and he wants to marry her. So the marriage part shouldn't really be a strike against him in a way it should be, well, he loves her. He's got feelings for her. And if a, if a 27 year old can love a 23 year old, why can't a 51 year old love a 23 year old? I agree she's young, but your mom did leave him. It's not like he's cheating on her. And for that matter, and you know, he wasn't a great dad, but he didn't abuse you and he didn't, oh, you know, he didn't do drugs and he was your little league coach. So why don't you cut him a break?

25:01 Caller Yeah, I, I wish I could.

25:03 Adam And I know, but you, it just, this doesn't sound like the issue. I mean, this just sounds like you have issues with your dad and this is sort of spearheading the thing. But you said he wasn't a bad dad.

25:19 Caller Yeah, I mean, I, I hope at some time, at some point in time, I can kind of get over it.

25:25 Adam Well, but, but how much is there?

25:27 Caller I just turned into one of those things where I don't speak to him for 10 years.

25:31 Adam But I think that if that did happen, it'd be you who created it.

25:35 Dr. Bruce It's all selfish on your part. What?

25:37 Adam But Jason, I really, I'm trying to get at, listen, I got issues with my dad too. But I'm curious what yours are. I mean, you say he was with your mom, he stayed around, he was your little league coach, he wasn't abusive in any way.

25:52 Caller No.

25:52 Adam What really was so, he sounds better than 99 percent of the dads that father people call him so.

26:00 Caller You know, he wasn't, he wasn't bad at all. It's just, it's very, something has got me to where I'm going to have a step-brother named Jason, and he's dating, you know, this girl who's basically the same age as my sister. It is to me, it seems so wrong.

26:19 Adam Well, look, I wouldn't call it, I wouldn't call it right, but I certainly wouldn't call it a deal breaker.

26:24 Dr. Bruce It sounds awkward.

26:25 Adam You, you having a step-brother that has, shares your same name really isn't, that's just neither here nor there, number one. I mean, I know it's one of these things that you can grab on to and hang your hateful hat on, but it doesn't make a difference. He's got a young brother named Jason and you're named Jason, so who cares? And not your dad's fault by the way that her kid's name is Jason.

26:47 Dr. Bruce What's the chemistry like between you and his future wife?

26:50 Caller Well since I've left, I've probably only been over to the house maybe a couple of times, and the time that she and the little boy have been there, they pretty much hide.

27:01 Adam Okay, well maybe they sense your hostility or your disapproval.

27:06 Caller To go into another room or...

27:09 Adam Sorry.

27:10 Caller She's not over, come on over, that type of thing.

27:13 Adam All right, Jason, here's what I would say. First off, Jason sounds a little spoiled. Jason, please listen to the show and hear about the women that were raped repeatedly with a banjo by their dads. And your dad had you play second base instead of short stop on the Little League team he was coaching and you're PO'd.

27:33 Dr. Bruce Yeah, Jason sounds very disappointed in something his dad did or didn't do.

27:36 Adam Yes, this ain't enough. This ain't enough. And by the way, if your dad was your hero, this could put him in an even higher standing. He's got a hot 23-year-old. Your dad didn't divorce your mom, you didn't cheat on your mom, your mom left him, he fell in love with someone who's younger. The kid's got your name, who gives a rat's ass? And by the way, Jason, the fact that he's got my name, he's got my name, he's got my name, shows that Jason is one of these guys who thinks the world sort of revolves around him. There's five billion Jason's out there. They have nothing to do with you, Jason.

28:10 Dr. Bruce I would say the onus is on Jason to maybe get to know this gal and spend some time with his dad.

28:14 Adam Go to the wedding and be nice. And look, if you want to, why don't you go out to breakfast with your dad and talk to him? Just tell him what you're feeling. He doesn't have anything, though.

28:24 Dr. Bruce It doesn't sound like it. It's not going to get through. How about Matt in Ohio?

28:27 Adam He's probably...

28:27 Dr. Bruce No.

28:28 Adam I'm taking a break. Dr. Bruce here, filling in for Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew back tomorrow night?

28:34 Dr. Bruce Yep.

28:34 Adam Yeah. I'm going to miss you, Bruce.

28:36 Where's Dr. Drew?

28:38 Adam No, I mean, you got to leave now.

28:41 Dr. Bruce Just shut my mic. I'll listen.

28:42 Adam Chris, what are you laughing?

28:43 Dr. Bruce You're going to.

28:44 Adam We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

28:47 1-800-LOVE-191.

28:59 Caller Yeah, yeah, get it on. Yeah, yeah, hip, hip, huzzah.

29:08 Adam I want to replace that, you know, get back to that old school hip, hip, huzzah. It's that hooray. So gay sounding, hooray. Hip, hip, hooray. No, no, huzzah. You want to try it, Bruce?

29:21 Dr. Bruce Sounds like the hissy. Hip, hip, huzzah. I don't work at that a little.

29:27 Adam It's got to be like a five Mississippi before something comes out of your mouth. Want to try it one more time?

29:32 Dr. Bruce Hip, hip, huzzah.

29:35 Didn't we establish-

29:36 Dr. Bruce You want to be my voice? What?

29:37 Caller That's what the Nazis said when they tracked on a Jew or something?

29:40 Ooh.

29:41 Adam No.

29:41 I thought that's what we established.

29:43 Adam Did we establish that?

29:44 Yeah, that's where it came from originally.

29:46 Adam No, it did not. First off, it came from originally. It's like 500 years old.

29:52 Maybe it was the Russians.

29:53 Adam Englishmen on ships would do that.

29:55 Dr. Bruce Which one?

29:56 Adam Hip hip huzzah. You think it was established in 1941?

30:01 Dr. Bruce I've never heard that before.

30:02 Adam What the hell is wrong with you?

30:04 Dr. Bruce I've listened to the History Channel. I still haven't.

30:06 The guy from Magic Mountain says it all the time.

30:08 Dr. Bruce There we go.

30:11 Adam Don't get me started on that. Chris, do you realize that Bruce had never seen the bold guy with the huge glasses?

30:19 Dr. Bruce Oh my God.

30:20 Adam He danced all the time at the Magic Mountain. It's only on TV every hour.

30:25 Every hour.

30:25 Dr. Bruce It's not on C-Span every hour.

30:27 I don't know.

30:29 Adam It is the most annoying campaign ever devised.

30:34 Dr. Bruce I block, you know, I really, this is the guy that does the summer salts. And he's the guy that looks like the guy that was on Letterman with the big black glasses.

30:39 Adam He does look like Larry Budd-Melman and he dances around.

30:42 Dr. Bruce I block that out.

30:44 Adam Well, how about not blocking out everything that I let in? How about that, brother?

30:50 Dr. Bruce I'll just remember to revolve around you as the universe does.

30:53 Adam Please. Billboards, buses, bus stops, everywhere. And now they're doing this two-for-thing where there's two of them. Which is like taking a piece of fecal matter and cutting it in half. But now there's two of them.

31:09 Dr. Bruce The guy.

31:10 Adam Oh, it is the most annoying, creepiest campaign anyone ever devised. And do they ever do any? Do they do anything? Like, do they get any feedback? Do they talk to any focus groups or anything? Because everyone has to be either horrified or annoyed. Somewhere between annoyed, like at best, annoyed by this campaign. At worst, horrified.

31:31 Dr. Bruce And you're talking about on national radio. So things that are irritating like that.

31:34 Adam No.

31:35 Dr. Bruce If you pull it off the right way.

31:36 Adam Makes me angry. Tony?

31:39 Caller Yeah?

31:39 Adam Dun dun dun dun dun dun. What's up there, Tony?

31:43 Caller Remember, I called just now and asked if there was a problem with me if every guy I've been intimate with has a history of sexual abuse and you hung up on me?

31:49 Adam Yeah.

31:50 Dr. Bruce We didn't hang up on you.

31:51 Adam In the 19th.

31:52 Caller No, I thought you did. But the phone cut off.

31:55 Adam Oh, yeah. OK.

31:56 Dr. Bruce Yeah, Adam did hang up. Yeah.

31:57 Adam So everyone you're with has a history of sexual abuse.

32:01 Caller Yeah, I find that out after we've been together like a month.

32:04 Adam Hmm. Well, but when you say everyone, what is that, two and a half?

32:09 Caller No, every guy. I've been with six guys, every guy.

32:12 Dr. Bruce Yeah, that's very significant.

32:14 Adam You've had sex with all six of them?

32:16 Caller No, I've only had sex with one of them, the last one. Lucky.

32:21 Dr. Bruce Yeah. Did they get abusive in just in terms of how they treated you and boundary issues with you?

32:28 Caller They all did.

32:29 Adam Well, where are you meeting these guys, Tony?

32:32 Caller Well, I met two of them at school. I met one of them at a party, couple of them at a party, couple through friends, different places.

32:39 Adam What kind of school do you go to?

32:41 Caller I go to a good university upstate.

32:45 Adam Which one?

32:46 Caller University of Rochester.

32:49 Adam You know what makes me mad?

32:50 Dr. Bruce What?

32:50 Adam There's Rochester in New York and then one in Minnesota.

32:54 Dr. Bruce And in Michigan.

32:54 Adam And in Michigan. We really need three?

32:57 No.

32:58 Adam And once Drew and I almost got into a fistfight on an airplane once because I was telling them Rochester is only this far and he was talking about the one in Minnesota and I was talking about the one in New York and we started yelling at each other and screaming we're both right because we're both talking about different Rochester's.

33:13 Wow.

33:13 Adam Should we disagree on one?

33:14 Dr. Bruce Isn't it confusing? You're yelling at each other. Okay.

33:17 Adam Why have names for places if everyone else is going to share that name? You know what I'm saying?

33:23 Dr. Bruce Yes.

33:24 Adam Okay.

33:25 Dr. Bruce Sounds serious.

33:25 Adam Salem, Oregon. You know what I mean? Salem, Mass.

33:28 Dr. Bruce Paris, New York.

33:30 Adam Well.

33:30 Dr. Bruce Paris, France. So if it's a different country.

33:31 Adam Yeah, but let's do a different country. I'll hang with it. Tony?

33:35 Yep.

33:36 Adam Tony with an I, right?

33:38 Caller IE.

33:40 Adam Yeah. Okay. Is that how you do that, Tony?

33:44 Dr. Bruce Okay. You do it however you want.

33:45 Adam So, Tony, it usually means you just hang around with people that are sort of troubled. Although a large group of people have been abused. I mean, it's a pretty good size population to choose from in our society these days.

34:00 Caller That's what I keep telling myself to make him just make sure that, you know, I'm not crazy. I haven't ever been abused.

34:07 Adam And is your parents are good and your mom and dad are together?

34:11 Caller No, they're horrible, but I've never been sexually abused.

34:15 Adam What's, what's horrible?

34:17 Caller Well, yeah, they're horrible. I might say. I live with my mom. She's fine. Get from my nerves, but she's fine. My dad is a total jerk. I'm not going to curse. He's a total jerk, but I really want to. He did my birthday just passed. He didn't even call me. I haven't spoken to him before that in like two years. He's just like, and when he does speak to me, he keeps telling me that, you know, I talk to him like I'm an adult and that I need to really, like, get myself in check and, you know, I'm a good student, you know, and everything is good. Let me see what the problem is.

34:45 Dr. Bruce Okay, but so you're implying that your dad's somewhat abusive emotionally?

34:48 Caller Emotionally, yes.

34:49 Dr. Bruce Okay, and that didn't just start last week. I mean, that's from the time you were born. A lot of things happen that shape your future and your future choices when you're an infant. And the first couple years of bonding are critical. So there's a lot of stuff that went into programming your computer that's water under the bridge, but you're describing some of the roots of that with the relationship with your dad. All right. So if you look at why you're picking these guys, working with alcoholics, they'll tell you, a woman that's been married to an alcoholics codependent, the guy dies and you put her in a room with a thousand guys and one alcoholic, that's the person she'll find. It's just the same thing with being a victim. So there's something in your emotional makeup that would indicate you really need to talk to a therapist. Don't get any more relationships until you sort it out.

35:31 Adam Well, let's look at it this way. What is attraction? Especially for women, because women aren't attracted to physical, mechanical things like guys are, or at least not to the degree men are. So let's break this down, Bruce. Remember when Bruce used to be the gay name that you would go to?

35:53 Caller Bruce, Brucey.

35:56 Adam Are we breaking this down or are we breaking it down? But Bruce, I'd like to see Bruce make a comeback as the gay name.

36:03 Dr. Bruce I would not.

36:05 Adam Why?

36:05 Dr. Bruce I'm secure in my heterosexuality. I'm a metrosexual.

36:09 Adam Yes. He had sex on the bus. Here's the point. Bruce, good gay name, need to bring it back. Women sort of get themselves in trouble more than guys do because they're attracted to things that aren't just visual. Meaning, you could take a guy and if the guy was raised by alcoholics and the guy was abused or the guy had a mom that pulled a number on him. If there's a hot playmate chick, he's attracted to her.

36:39 Dr. Bruce And he'll beat the bejesus out of her too. Probably. Be abusive or...

36:43 Adam Would you shut up and let me finish my goddamn point?

36:46 Dr. Bruce Alright, go ahead.

36:47 Adam Stop crapping on my point. Do you know where my points are?

36:51 Dr. Bruce Well, I know exactly where they are.

36:52 Adam But just listen to me.

36:53 Dr. Bruce Okay.

36:54 Adam Try not to undermine the point. Just listen. The guy's going to be attracted to a beautiful woman no matter what her history is.

37:01 Dr. Bruce Right.

37:03 Caller Is that okay?

37:03 Dr. Bruce Yeah. So far so good.

37:04 Caller Right?

37:05 Adam No matter what the guy's history was, hot smoking, pipe and hot, blonde chick, 19 year old, he's into her.

37:12 Dr. Bruce Right.

37:13 Adam Boom. That's what his attraction is. A woman who went through a lot of abuse growing up is going to walk in a room, walk past ten guys that are more attractive than the one guy at the end and be attracted to him because he's an abuser or he's an alcoholic. Or he's got whatever it is that attraction is. Because what is attraction after all? People always make it into something good.

37:39 Dr. Bruce It's familiarity in a way.

37:41 Adam Yes. And you know what people do? They give women credit because man, we're so shallow. We only go off of our visual faculties. That's all we want. We go walk around. We find the biggest set of jugs and the tidiest ass and the prettiest face. We go home with her. We don't. But women, women so much more evolved because they're actually attracted to what's inside. Well, what's inside is an abusive alcoholic, the same thing your dad was before he split. That's what you're attracted to. So that's more evolved than me who goes for a nice D cup. How dare you?

38:13 Dr. Bruce You've sort of.

38:14 Adam You know what I'm saying, though. That's what women.

38:17 Dr. Bruce You've wove in your misogynistic worldview.

38:19 Adam How dare you bring up big words? You know what I'm saying? This is a valid point. This is an interesting point. Women are attracted to that stuff. That's where their attraction is. Now, if they're totally healthy, they usually just go with the good looking guy who's nice.

38:39 Dr. Bruce Who's nice.

38:39 Adam Yeah.

38:40 Dr. Bruce Right.

38:40 Adam But when they're effed up, man, that's where that attraction really comes in. And that's where that thing that almost more like scent than sight.

38:49 Dr. Bruce Okay. Let's see how Tony.

38:51 Adam No.

38:51 Dr. Bruce I want to see what she thinks about what you just said. Because I think.

38:53 Adam She doesn't know what I just said.

38:55 Dr. Bruce Okay. Tony, did you find a threat of truth in that or a more...

39:01 Caller I know what you're saying. And people have told me that I just have a sense for knowing when people are messed up because somebody in my family was.

39:08 Dr. Bruce I would agree with that. And then you try to rescue them.

39:11 Caller Yep. Exactly. That's what I keep. Because I want to be effed up.

39:13 Dr. Bruce Okay. Wait a second. I mean, that's good.

39:16 Adam She knows what's going on.

39:17 Dr. Bruce Right.

39:18 Adam Here's my point, though. When she is attracted to a guy, because she doesn't care about looks as much as a guy does, if she's attracted to him, it's going to be a guy who survived abuse or will or is an abuser.

39:32 Dr. Bruce Right.

39:33 Adam So what does she do? Nothing. She's got to get some therapy and she has to recalibrate her system a little bit.

39:39 Dr. Bruce Right. And the pop psychology answer is you're codependent. Right. All right.

39:44 Adam Nothing. You don't want to heap any praise on me for my wonderful.

39:48 Dr. Bruce I would generalize by saying that you are very insightful.

39:51 Adam Thank you. That's enough.

39:52 Dr. Bruce Rick?

39:54 Adam Yes.

39:54 Dr. Bruce Rick? Yes.

39:55 Adam 26?

39:56 Caller Yes.

39:57 Adam What's going on? Where are you working? You scanning something? Okay.

40:01 Caller Now it's just a earpiece. What's that?

40:03 Adam Are you there?

40:04 Caller I am here.

40:05 Sorry about that.

40:06 Adam Are you at work?

40:07 Caller Well, I'm walking outside now. I was having somebody sign a contract, but I'm done.

40:12 Adam Wow.

40:13 Caller So anyway, my question is for the doctor.

40:18 Adam Sign a contract?

40:19 Dr. Bruce You're an attorney?

40:20 Caller No. No. I do pest control. I had to sign an invoice. Sorry about that. I was talking to the manager at the same time you guys came on.

40:28 Adam Yeah. Let me tell you this pest control stuff. This is quite a racket. Yeah. It's not bad. It's the pedigy nine bucks an hour. You know, they do that thing where like you see the commercial crates in a visible force field around your house. They show like ants and gophers and spiders sprinting the other way with this green glow all around your house. Really some guy from Guatemala just takes one lap around, just sprays his crap in the bushes and then leaves. You get a bill for like 169 bucks a week later. It's like that guy you pay nine bucks an hour to, he was here for 20 minutes.

41:00 Dr. Bruce That's not your company.

41:02 Adam Yeah, yeah it is.

41:04 Dr. Bruce Hello?

41:05 Caller Yes.

41:06 Adam Invisible force field.

41:07 Dr. Bruce Go ahead.

41:08 Caller I do a lot of commercial. I'm at Ralph's right now, but my question is, when I was like five or six, I had my left testicle would go up inside me and then I had an operation and then my other one does that now. You know, at six, I don't know how serious that was and I mean, it seemed to be fine ever since I was, it doesn't hurt or nothing, but it disappears like up inside.

41:36 Dr. Bruce What about it, Bruce? When you're the age, you had the surgery, it was for an undescended testicle. It didn't come down and go back up.

41:42 Adam It just never came down.

41:44 Dr. Bruce So then you have a higher rate of medical problems, cancer after that. But at this point, if it goes up, as long as it comes back down, I mean, that's...

41:52 Adam Is it sort of like some people have a, I don't know, finger that'll pop out of socket easily and they can pop it back in? I mean, the canal is enlarged, you know what I mean? It can go back, come and go, like landing gear.

42:06 Dr. Bruce Yeah. Well, in his case, he's got a situation where he had a totally undescended testicle, did the surgery. It is more like the finger popping out situation now.

42:16 Adam Isn't it the other one that's doing it now, though?

42:19 Dr. Bruce No, it's... Well...

42:20 Adam Same one?

42:21 Dr. Bruce We have to examine him, but it's coming.

42:23 Adam Well, no, he can tell us. Rick?

42:25 Caller I had an operation on the left side, but now the right side does it.

42:28 Adam That's what I'm saying.

42:29 Dr. Bruce Yeah, but I mean, the testicle is out on both sides. You're saying that in certain situations, it pops, goes back up and you can't find it.

42:35 Caller Yeah.

42:36 Adam It goes back in, yeah. What about it?

42:38 Dr. Bruce That's not a problem.

42:40 Adam Not a problem.

42:40 Dr. Bruce It should do as long as it's out.

42:42 Adam It's... It goes back in, though, Nimrod.

42:46 Caller Yeah.

42:46 Adam Dr. Nimrod?

42:47 Dr. Bruce If you get cold enough, yours will go back in, too.

42:49 Adam It will not.

42:51 Dr. Bruce Go ahead.

42:52 Caller Go ahead.

42:52 Dr. Bruce I beg to differ with you. I don't want to see the evidence of that.

42:55 Adam Hit it with a bomb pop and let's see where it goes.

42:57 Dr. Bruce He had... He was... First, he was evaluated. Do I get a Dr. Spaz Award tonight?

43:03 Adam Yes. Here's the thing. Stop chewing on that stick. Number one. Number two, when it goes back in, it should... If it stays in there for a period of time, it could be trouble, right?

43:17 Dr. Bruce That's not what's happening here, though.

43:18 Caller No, I could make it come back up, like if I stand up and push down on my...

43:23 Adam It is going back, though. Please understand, it is going back up into him. Do I understand that?

43:28 Dr. Bruce I understand that.

43:29 Adam Okay. But you keep saying, well, if it's out, then it's no big deal.

43:32 Dr. Bruce It's not.

43:33 Adam He had the other one operated on when he was a child.

43:36 Dr. Bruce For Undescended Testicle.

43:38 Adam This is the other one.

43:40 Dr. Bruce Right.

43:40 Adam It's not that one, and it's going back up.

43:44 Dr. Bruce Right.

43:45 Adam So it's not out. It's up oftentimes.

43:49 Dr. Bruce Oftentimes, but not all the time.

43:50 Adam But not all the time. Not a problem.

43:53 Dr. Bruce Not a problem.

43:54 Adam Okay. Even if it stays up there.

43:57 Dr. Bruce But it doesn't stay up there.

43:58 Adam You see, but maybe perhaps it will. What if, how long can it stay up there? What if it's up there for two days?

44:04 Dr. Bruce If he goes in a cold pool and stays in there for two days, it'll stay up there. But I would say he's in a range of normal where it's going up and coming down, and when it goes up, it seems to be gone.

44:14 Adam Can you coax it back down, Rick?

44:16 Dr. Bruce Yeah, I can. All right.

44:18 Adam Then it's fine. It's a nice conversation piece.

44:23 Dr. Bruce How about Matt and I?

44:23 Adam How about you give me a break, Mr. Let's take ourselves a break and when we come back, what? Polycystic ovarian syndrome? Matt? What? Ginger? Where's Matt? 115-pound girlfriend thinks he's fat?

44:37 Dr. Bruce He's been waiting. All right, man.

44:39 Adam Oh, he dropped some TUDE about an hour ago. Hang on, Matt. We'll be with you after this.

44:45 1-800-LOVE-191.

44:53 Caller Hey, yeah, Bruce, whoo, get it on.

44:59 Adam All right, let's power, buddy. What do you say? I'm running a little bit late tonight, Matt?

45:04 Caller Yeah.

45:05 Adam You're 17?

45:07 Caller Yes, I am.

45:08 Adam You have a 115 pound girlfriend who thinks she's fat.

45:11 Caller Yeah, this is not like a question I just wanted to fight like. I give her compliments every time. I mean, I love her to death. We've been together for about three months now.

45:20 Adam All right.

45:20 Caller I would do anything for her.

45:22 Adam How tall is she?

45:23 Caller She's 5'4.

45:25 Adam And she's not fat at all?

45:26 Dr. Bruce No, not at all.

45:28 Adam And she's 17 as well?

45:31 Caller She's 15.

45:32 Adam 15?

45:33 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

45:34 Adam A lot of pressure for the gals these days. Now, do you think she's on the cusp of an eating disorder? You think she would, you know, binge and purge or anything like that?

45:44 Caller No, but...

45:45 Caller But I'm real fat.

45:48 Adam Here's the thing, Bruce, you tell me in 30 seconds. I don't think telling people who are sort of abnormally worried about something...

45:56 Caller I'm kind of like chunky.

45:58 Caller Chunky.

45:59 Adam I don't think telling them, oh, sweetie, you're not fat, ever did anything. I almost wonder if you should just sort of go the other way and go, would you shut up? Like, what are you complaining about?

46:08 Caller Oh, if I did that, I wouldn't have any teeth.

46:11 Adam Well, maybe you should grow some huevos and lose some teeth. Yeah.

46:16 Dr. Bruce Well, she's 15. And if she's going to develop an eating disorder, she has altered body image, then this is the time it's going to start.

46:23 Adam Right.

46:23 Dr. Bruce So telling her doesn't make any difference.

46:25 Adam No.

46:25 Dr. Bruce One way or the other, whether she has it or not. But it is a serious disorder.

46:28 Adam It has a significant, I think, it is, but I do, I do think sometimes people just want you to dance with them. Like, look how fat I look. Oh, no, sweetie. You look great.

46:38 Dr. Bruce Right.

46:38 Adam I just think there's a point where you just have to go, listen, you know you're not fat. I know you're not fat. You can't physically be fat at 115 and 5'4. So let's just move forward and start focusing on school or whatever else you're interested in. Or go see a therapist.

46:54 Dr. Bruce Right.

46:54 Adam Do that. I bet you get a BJ. Take a quick break. Be right back after this. All right, guys.

47:00 Dr. Bruce Here's the deal.

47:01 Caller Look in the hookup.

47:02 Caller Call the Dateline. Stick a waist in time with the wrong person.

47:04 Caller Call the Dateline.

47:05 Caller One call is all you need to make.

47:07 Caller Call the Dateline.

47:08 Dr. Bruce 1-877-889.

47:21 Caller Yeah!

47:23 Adam Get it on! That's what I'm talking about. Bruce, Dr. Bruce to you. Filling in for Drew, Dr. Drew to me. And Drew is going to be back tomorrow night. He is coming in tomorrow night, and he'll be here Wednesday and Thursday. This will be Bruce's last night. Doing a great job, Bruce. Great job.

47:50 Dr. Bruce Excellent job, buddy.

47:51 Adam Hey, Bruce, give yourself a hand, buddy.

47:54 Dr. Bruce Ow!

47:55 Adam No, just a hand, not a hoot.

47:57 Dr. Bruce Adam Corolla has my hookah pipe?

47:59 Yeah.

48:01 Dr. Bruce Who was that?

48:01 Adam I don't know, but I got your hookah pipe at my house, you know.

48:04 Dr. Bruce Oh, that's right.

48:05 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Bruce confiscated it from his stepdaughter.

48:09 If this is true, you're going to go to jail, buddy.

48:13 Adam To take tobacco out of it.

48:14 Dr. Bruce I didn't think so. I said it.

48:16 Adam Bruce is like, what is hookah? Hookah? What is this hookah? It's called a hookah pipe. Well, what's hookah? Well, no, it's a hookah pipe you smoke pot out of. It's like saying, what kind of tobacco is bong tobacco? It's like, it's pot. It's a bong, but you smoke pot out of it.

48:35 Dr. Bruce That's why it's at your house. That's what I was saying.

48:37 Adam Yeah.

48:37 Dr. Bruce Talk to mom. She's smoking hookah. Right. Yeah.

48:43 Adam Bruce's stepdaughter had him had him convinced that she would just smoke cigarettes from this eight foot high glass monstrosity with like five feet of garden hose hanging off of it. Yeah, she brings it to work. And, you know, during during a 10 minute break, she'd go out on the patio, drag her big hookah pipe out there in a hand truck.

49:00 Dr. Bruce Her name's Lauren. Why don't you just address her? Give her some advice.

49:04 Adam That's my sister's name.

49:05 Dr. Bruce I know. I love your sister.

49:06 Adam Let me tell you this, too. Does she go L-A-U-R-E-N?

49:10 Dr. Bruce Yeah. E-N. Yeah. L-A-U-R-E-N.

49:13 Adam Yeah. If she ever tries to pull that Y in, shut it right down.

49:16 Dr. Bruce Oh, yeah. No, that's almost like a Celtic...

49:18 Adam My sister tried to pull that late in life, like 31.

49:21 Dr. Bruce That's a Germanic thing, you know?

49:22 Adam She's like, I'm changing it to Y. I'm like, well, too late. The paint has dried. My brain, baby.

49:28 Dr. Bruce She really did, huh?

49:29 Adam Oh, I was like, well, I'm not doing it any different. I was thinking about it. I think I was lying in bed a couple of nights ago thinking about Prince when he changed his name to a symbol and then had to be called the artist formerly known as Prince. And I thought to myself, Prince must not have any real friends because I could imagine the look on Jimmy's face and Ray's face and Donnie's face and Drew's face and everyone else's face if I said, from this point on, I'll not be called Adam. I will be. You refer to me as this. And I just drew a symbol.

50:07 Caller They'd be like, are you high, A-hole?

50:09 Adam Exactly.

50:10 Caller Are you high?

50:11 Adam Well, this is the funniest thing. You cannot be serious. Oh, how about, you know what? No, wait a minute. How about we call you Douchebag?

50:19 Caller Yeah, yeah, that's a good one.

50:21 Dr. Bruce Yeah, I'd be thinking that.

50:22 Adam I mean, Prince must not have friends. He must just have people that are subordinates or scared of him or on payroll.

50:29 Dr. Bruce Well, Michael Jackson could do that, and it would come out the same way.

50:32 Adam Because if these guys actually had friends, and the thing about a friend is a friend has to tell you when you get a bad haircut or like, we're going out. Well, not in those boots, we're not. That is true. Listen, Crocodile Dundee, head back up to the house and put some sneakers on. No way are we going out with those gay boots on. I mean, that's a friend's job, right? Where'd you get that? Put it back. No, you look like an idiot, right? These guys must just eliminate all those guys from their life, and then they talk to guys who are on the payroll, and it's like, I'm changed my name from Prince to this symbol. They're like, oh, it's great. That's awesome.

51:08 Dr. Bruce And then they're willing to call him the artist formerly known as.

51:11 Caller Right, right.

51:12 Dr. Bruce I can imagine.

51:13 Adam Is there any, look, I hated the guy before this, before that started. Shouldn't we hate him even more now?

51:20 Dr. Bruce Oh, yeah.

51:21 Adam Why don't more people hate Prince? That's an interesting question. More people should hate Prince.

51:27 Dr. Bruce Because he projects the coolness beyond perception. Alright, it's like, alright.

51:32 Adam Listen, everyone who thinks he's a musical genius, go back and just listen to some Prince from ten years, fifteen years ago. It doesn't hold up very well at all. It's annoying. It's annoying. It's annoying. His music. Look, here's what I'll say. Good musician, crappy music. How about that? You know what I'm saying? OK. Candice?

51:54 Caller Yes.

51:55 Adam Twenty-one?

51:56 Caller That's correct.

51:57 Adam Change his name to a symbol and everyone goes along with it.

52:00 Dr. Bruce What symbol would you choose?

52:03 Caller I don't know. I'm not so excited about the whole name as a symbol. That's not really working for me.

52:09 Adam I just know you cannot have real friends who, in your life, if you pull those kind of moves because they would laugh your ass right out of the house.

52:19 Caller I know my friends would.

52:21 Adam Right. Right. That's what friends are supposed to do.

52:24 Caller Exactly.

52:25 Adam They're supposed to tell you when you have a zit and tell you when you look like an idiot. Go ahead, Candice.

52:31 Caller Well, last week I ended up in the emergency room for some pelvic pain and I had an IUD and they said that it had to come out and they started running tests for something called PCOS, which they told me is Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. And that it could cause me to be sterile. And I'm wondering what PCOS is, does, and if it could have been caused by my having an IUD.

53:00 Adam Well, they have a new IUD out now.

53:03 Caller I have a plastic kind with a hormone on it called the Marina IUD.

53:08 Dr. Bruce It's not going to cause Polycystic Ovarian Disease. Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, you usually...

53:13 Adam No sexual abuse?

53:15 Dr. Bruce No sexual abuse. No, it's usually you're slightly overweight, a hair problem, a little hirsutism, irregular periods.

53:23 Adam Hold on, I got to masturbate. Fat, hairy, bleeding? Awesome.

53:27 Dr. Bruce No, I didn't say fat.

53:29 Caller Well, great, thank you.

53:31 Adam Candace, what are you coming in weight-wise?

53:34 Caller I'm five foot three and a hundred and twenty eight pounds.

53:37 Adam All right, and you have a little extra body hair on you?

53:42 Caller No, not extra body hair. I've got really thick curly hair on my head. None. I'm not carrying a mustache if that's what you're asking.

53:49 Dr. Bruce Yeah, polycystic ovary syndrome is, it's very common and that's what it's characterized by. You have a little too much androgenic stimulation going on. So if you're trying to get pregnant, you're going to probably have to see a specialist and they might put you on.

54:02 Adam Nothing to do with the IUD.

54:03 Dr. Bruce No.

54:04 Adam Okay.

54:05 Caller I was kind of concerned that any future fertility problems may have been caused by my contraceptive choice.

54:11 Adam No.

54:11 Dr. Bruce No.

54:12 Caller Okay.

54:12 Dr. Bruce And you're not, sterility is not a part of it. You may have more trouble getting pregnant. They may have to put you on a medication to help you get pregnant.

54:20 Adam Let me tell you my take on this IUD thing. It's like people saying, I flew right after 9-11, flew to New York, maybe a week later. People are like, oh my God, what are you doing? And it's like no better time to fly.

54:34 Dr. Bruce Absolutely. I agree.

54:35 Adam This is the best time to do it. And it's like with the IUDs, they had some trouble with these things in the 70s, maybe into the 80s. They pulled them off the market and there's no way they would get back onto the market with our crazy litigious society if they weren't 1 billion percent safe. You know what I mean?

54:54 Dr. Bruce Right.

54:55 Adam They wouldn't make their way back on. So smart to use the IUD now because they've been tested, tested and re-tested, right?

55:04 Dr. Bruce Right.

55:05 Adam They just wouldn't make their way back on if they still had whatever flaws they had.

55:08 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

55:09 Adam Okay. You cool?

55:10 Dr. Bruce Yeah. It's still a foreign body and you put a foreign body inside and you can have more problems with infection. I mean, if you get a bacteria that you don't want in there and you have an IUD. But yes, you're right. As far as the problems they were having with the original IUDs where they basically went in and penetrated. Yeah.

55:26 Okay.

55:27 Adam I'll just give people a little lesson and etiquette too, by the way, because I've been thinking back to flying maybe a week or so after 9-11 going out to New York. Everyone I told was like, yeah, I got to catch a flight today at 5 o'clock at LAX flying in New York.

55:44 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

55:46 Adam Yeah. Wow. You're a braver man than I am. I had a wife that I wouldn't let her on the plane. No, we canceled our and it's like, hey, listen, Dilwit, I'm getting on the plane in two hours, can you? Yes. Can you take it easy? Trap. I'm already a little bit. I'm already going to have three bloody Marys at the airport. You want to make a four now? People just sort of spout their stuff, like, wow, wow, I would be scared assless to get on a plane right now. I was like, I'm now getting on an hour and 45 minutes. Do you want to keep going?

56:15 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

56:15 Adam How about just a little? Yeah, you know what? That's smart because nothing is going to happen. They're never going to do it again. You're probably up in the air when the dirty bomb goes off in LA.

56:23 Dr. Bruce You're right.

56:24 Adam Yeah, I know I am. But why? But it freaks you out when everyone's like, oh, man. I was talking to people like, oh, well, we had travel plans and we canceled them.

56:32 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

56:33 Adam Oh, you're a brave man.

56:34 Dr. Bruce You don't want to talk about security.

56:35 Adam We got some kind of death wish. Yeah. It's like, would you shut your pie home getting on to the plane?

56:39 Dr. Bruce Yeah. Yeah. I flew last week and they they did a security search with the wand with my five and eight year old. And I sure I went right through.

56:48 Adam Yeah. But the five year old.

56:49 Dr. Bruce Our five year old.

56:50 Adam Al Qaeda.

56:51 Dr. Bruce Oh, yeah.

56:52 Adam Yeah.

56:52 Dr. Bruce You like that.

56:53 Adam Yeah.

56:54 Dr. Bruce I got the wand.

56:54 Adam I like the shoes off.

56:55 Dr. Bruce You want some metal detector now.

56:57 Adam Let me say this about the airport security. Could we just go ahead and standardize the S? Does it have to be wildly different from LA to JFK to Newark? You know, one place you're taking your shoes off, next place you're walking through with those shoes. One place, no, the bottle of water, you got to pass through the thing. The next one, you get to carry it through. One of them, you can't walk through with a hat. The other one, keep the hat on. Could we just go ahead and standardize that?

57:25 Dr. Bruce Right. But my hat's off to all those people that work security. They have a tough job. I mean, I was watching people are... I was starting to get... The front... Well, no, I'm checking in. They're telling me, oh, you're five... You're five and eight year old are excluded from this. Then you get there and these guys are just doing their job. You know, the first reaction is to get peeved at them. So, they have a tough job. Okay.

57:46 Adam Okay. All right, okay, all right.

57:49 Dr. Bruce All right.

57:50 Adam Yeah. You know what I found weird about airport security? It's like somebody had to decide... Someone decides when you're building an airport, like when you pull a permit to build an airport, you have to decide on an ethnicity for the security guards to be and then that's it. That's all you got. LAX is black, but I've been to other ones that are like Indian and stuff, but it's not a mixed batch. Who do you want? You want the Asian guy, you want the Indian guy, you want the black guy, you want the white guy? No. You decide. There must be some box you check or something when you're pulling a permit to build an airport. What is the ethnicity of the security going to be? Let's go black. That's it. That's all I got. Other places, it's all white. Other places, I swear to you, I've been to small airports. Just like Middle Eastern Indian guys. It's a weird thing, but I don't know if they're all relatives or they get their friends in or how it works exactly. But it's like they decide on one. That's it. Let me ask you a question. You've passed through LAX several hundred thousand times in your life. Yes. Yes. Ever seen an Asian security guy?

58:57 Dr. Bruce No.

58:58 Adam No. Ever seen anything other than black, male or female?

59:01 Dr. Bruce Oh boy, that's... I have to do a study on that.

59:03 Adam No. I'm just saying there are places that are all white and there are places that are all whatever. But they're never mixed up. What is that? I mean, they're mixed up everywhere else. They're mixed up at the restaurant. They're mixed up at the baggage thing.

59:18 Dr. Bruce Go to Ontario Airport. They're pretty mixed up.

59:20 Adam Oh, really?

59:20 Dr. Bruce Yeah. It was ethnically diverse.

59:22 Adam A lot of white trash over there?

59:24 Dr. Bruce Oh, no. I'm not seeing that.

59:25 Adam Ginger?

59:26 Caller Yes.

59:27 Adam Eighteen?

59:28 Caller Yes.

59:29 Adam You're dating a 31-year-old guy?

59:32 Caller Practically, yeah. Or we're talking or seeing each other right now.

59:37 Adam Mm-hmm. And what's the problem?

59:40 Caller I wanted to know because my friend that works with him told me that he might have a girlfriend and that he's kind of like, he's good with his words and he's kind of shady. And I'm wondering, you know, who do I trust, you know?

59:55 Dr. Bruce Trust your inner voice, telling you the guy's not trustworthy.

1:00:02 Adam Oh, well, here's the thing. When you find a guy who's in his 30s and he's dating or attempting to date or having sex with or trying to have sex with an 18-year-old, he's already on the sort of suspect list. Right. Now, so the point is, is he may not be a cheater or he may not be a two-timer, but he is in a, he's got into a high-risk category.

1:00:29 Dr. Bruce It's almost a victimization role that he plays.

1:00:31 Adam Yeah, he's, here's, you can almost just do the math because you're dating him, he's an idiot.

1:00:36 Caller Yeah.

1:00:37 Dr. Bruce No, serious, does that make any sense to you, Ginger?

1:00:40 Caller I mean, when I first met him, I thought he was like 23 or 24, and, you know, he didn't know how old I was, so. Yeah, right.

1:00:49 Adam No, he didn't know, he figured you were, he was hoping you're 17, turned out you're 18.

1:00:53 Dr. Bruce Yeah, Ginger, you understand the dynamics, there was a guy that called his dad's 53 dating a 23 year old. And this is a lot worse, whatever. Does that make sense to you?

1:01:04 Caller Yeah.

1:01:04 Dr. Bruce Ginger, because the age difference, 31 and 18, there's such a huge difference.

1:01:09 Adam Yeah.

1:01:09 Dr. Bruce It's like, just.

1:01:11 Adam I don't know if this is worse, but it almost is. I mean, 18 is young, and 31 for a male is been around the block a couple of times.

1:01:21 Dr. Bruce There's a reason a 31 year old male has a need for an 18 year old mentality to date.

1:01:27 Adam Here's the thing.

1:01:28 Dr. Bruce They're not good reasons, generally.

1:01:29 Adam Here's the thing.

1:01:30 Dr. Bruce Control.

1:01:31 Adam It doesn't mean the guy is too timing, or cheating, or whatever. It means there's a higher likelihood that he's doing it. Okay.

1:01:40 Dr. Bruce Now, what's the, what is about your friend saying, what's your friend's evidence? Does she know him or somebody told her?

1:01:46 Caller Oh, yeah. He works with him. My friend's a guy and he never has lied to me ever. He's a very nice friend and he's trying to look out for me, he told me, and he's like, you know, I don't, I wouldn't, I would just be very careful because he's, you know, he's very good with his words.

1:02:04 Adam And are you having sex with him?

1:02:06 Dr. Bruce No.

1:02:07 Adam And do you have a crush on him?

1:02:10 Caller Yes.

1:02:11 Adam And have you guys, have you guys been on a few dates?

1:02:15 Caller Yeah. Like we've hung out, like we, you know, hooked up or whatever, but.

1:02:19 Adam Well, what have you done physically?

1:02:21 Caller I'm not much, you know, just kissing and that's pretty much it.

1:02:25 Dr. Bruce Mm-hmm.

1:02:26 Adam Hand up the sweater?

1:02:28 Caller No.

1:02:29 Dr. Bruce Hmm. No.

1:02:31 Caller It hasn't really progressed that way.

1:02:34 Adam And do you work with him or does your friend work with him?

1:02:37 Caller No. My friend works with him.

1:02:39 Adam What's he do?

1:02:41 Caller Um, he works at like a music store, like selling stuff. Mm-hmm.

1:02:48 Adam Is he a loser?

1:02:49 Caller No.

1:02:51 Adam Okay.

1:02:51 Dr. Bruce You know, just go.

1:02:52 Caller He's a musician, basically.

1:02:56 Caller Ha-ha.

1:02:57 Adam All right. Look, we don't, we do not give this our blessing.

1:03:00 Dr. Bruce Oh. And confronting him. You know, the problem is-

1:03:03 Adam There's nothing to confront.

1:03:04 Dr. Bruce You don't trust, this guy, you don't trust him already. You got to go with your instincts on this. Why can't you find a guy that's 18, 19, 20 in your age range?

1:03:13 Caller Hmm. Where's your dad?

1:03:15 Caller He lives up north.

1:03:17 Dr. Bruce What was your relationship like with your dad?

1:03:19 Caller It's really good. It's very open. Like we're very, we're very good at with talking with each other.

1:03:26 Adam When, when did your dad split?

1:03:28 Caller Well, my parents separated when I was like two years old.

1:03:32 Adam And, and your dad moved?

1:03:35 Caller Yeah, he moved back to his hometown.

1:03:37 Adam Where's his hometown?

1:03:38 Caller In Northern California, like almost near Oregon.

1:03:42 Adam And you, and you lived?

1:03:44 Caller In Southern California.

1:03:46 Adam Yeah. So that's, that's abandonment. I know you guys are free to talk about him abandoning you. But at age two, when daddy picks up and splits to Oregon, and I don't care, by the way, how great it is, you know, where, oh no, every Christmas I got a stuffed animal, and he would come down every odd month and say hi to me. Like, your dad picked up and left the state.

1:04:09 Dr. Bruce There was a potato famine and he had to leave to...

1:04:11 Caller Well, no, he didn't leave the state. He's still in California, just near Oregon. And we do talk at least once a week. And, you know, I, we do see each other quite a few times a year.

1:04:21 Adam Well, growing up, though, and by the way, California is a real big state. So, you know, you can live in San Diego and he can live on the Oregon border, and that's far enough. You live, you're calling from Diamond Bar. He's on the Oregon border. In many states, you would be two states over. Yeah. All right. So the technical part about him leaving the state doesn't really, neither here nor there. He's far, he picked up and moved away, essentially. And that's a bummer for a girl, a two-year-old girl.

1:04:49 Dr. Bruce That's a huge, a huge thing. So look, Ginger, the way, the way you diagnose something or the way you figure out a problem is you put the evidence together. You've got issues of parental abandonment, the problems with your dad.

1:05:00 Adam Yes. Now we got a new daddy in town.

1:05:02 Dr. Bruce You got a new dad. 31-year-old.

1:05:04 Adam He plays the hollowed out fish and he's in a band. Yeah.

1:05:07 Dr. Bruce And there's another guy that's giving you the message, this guy's not trustworthy. And guys sniff out other guys pretty efficiently.

1:05:13 Adam All right. Listen to that guy and maybe start dating him. And I knew this. I knew her dad was always whenever whenever a chick is into older guys, there's always some weird daddy thing going on.

1:05:24 Dr. Bruce What worries me with Ginger is the denial there. I mean, she's not wanting to hear.

1:05:27 Adam I just hope when I f up my kids, they can be this defensive about it. You know what I mean? I mean, look, imagine that. But just think of the psyche. Imagine what that does, especially to a female. You're there. You're there until the kid is two. Then you get to blow out the old lady, get divorced. I'm heading up to Oregon.

1:05:45 Dr. Bruce Yeah. Oh.

1:05:47 Adam You're gone. You pick up and leave. You're gone. And you know that sort of visitation thing. You end up seeing your school teachers. You end up seeing your garbage man. You end up seeing the gardener. You end up seeing everyone more than you end up seeing your dad. Yeah. And then these guys blow in and they drop off a present. And they take them off the Magic Mountain. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. The bald guys dance around with the Swifty Lazar glasses. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Scaring the bejesus out of kids. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. You get to play hero and then it's back up to Oregon for... And then these guys start new families. And that's what I think freaks the daughters out the most. It's like, oh, yeah, they're married to the younger chick and they crap out two or three kids. And then next thing you know, new family, new chick. What kind of... Think about that message.

1:06:38 Dr. Bruce Right, right. There's something missing in the guy and that's going to create a deficiency, a real problem in the daughter. But she's got a little denial going, so she needs not to get in any relationships till she sees a therapist, talks to him, gets some insight.

1:06:50 Adam Rachel?

1:06:51 Caller Yes?

1:06:52 Adam 19?

1:06:53 Caller Yep.

1:06:54 Adam You had an abortion? Your ex-boyfriend wanted you to have it?

1:07:02 Caller In February, day after Valentine's Day, actually.

1:07:08 Adam Yeah. Well, who cares? And I just mean the day after part.

1:07:13 Caller Oh.

1:07:14 Adam You know what I mean? And were you guys still together?

1:07:19 Caller We never officially broke up, but we kind of, I don't know, it kind of petered out after that whole thing happened. And then he moved back in with his first baby mama.

1:07:29 Mm.

1:07:30 Adam Excellent. When guys, some guys either seem to have potent sperm or they just are so active that it's sort of like, you know, just firing a shotgun at a can from four feet away. It's just, they just can't miss. Like it's just so much in the air at any given time. So, he, what's that?

1:07:53 Caller The irony was, he said he had a vasectomy.

1:07:55 Adam He said he had a vasectomy. All right, so how old is the guy?

1:08:00 Caller 27. I was 18 at the time.

1:08:02 Adam And he's got himself another old lady now and a kid from a, he's done this before.

1:08:09 Caller He's got three other kids, yeah.

1:08:10 Adam Three kids. And he got you pregnant. Wow. All right, now hold on. I was wrong last night, but this time I mean it. And I know I'm feeling Asian or Chew, come on.

1:08:24 Caller No.

1:08:24 Caller Oh my god.

1:08:25 Caller Neither.

1:08:27 Caller I was a poor, loose-groomed white girl from Minnesota.

1:08:31 Adam You are, but what is he?

1:08:32 Caller No, I'm talking about him.

1:08:33 Adam He's a Jew. Jew.

1:08:35 Caller No.

1:08:36 Caller I can't believe it.

1:08:38 Adam No. I just refuse to accept this.

1:08:42 Caller I refuse.

1:08:44 Dr. Bruce He's probably Norwegian. He's from Minnesota. Is he Norwegian?

1:08:48 Caller No. He's an eighth African American and the rest of him is, I think, German and Polish.

1:08:54 Adam Shocking. I just, you know what, Bruce? I've been doing this for four months now. I've been wrong every time. I just cannot believe it. I trust my gut. I just get that good feeling, oh, this is a Jew or an Asian. It's always Asian or Jew. That's the feeling because it's the same guy. You know what I mean? I've been wrong every single time.

1:09:16 Dr. Bruce I'm surprised you even asked the question anymore.

1:09:18 Adam Can you imagine me wrong?

1:09:19 Dr. Bruce No.

1:09:20 Adam That percentage.

1:09:21 Dr. Bruce Shocking.

1:09:21 Adam Incredible.

1:09:22 Dr. Bruce Okay.

1:09:23 Adam Yeah, because it's impossible to stereotype, you know? You just can't do it.

1:09:27 Dr. Bruce No. So, Rachel, what is your question?

1:09:31 Caller I need to know how I'm supposed to ask him to at least pay for half of this. I just got a $500 bill in the mail the other day, and I've kind of sort of brought it up to him, and all he ever says is, I'll see how it goes next week.

1:09:47 Dr. Bruce Why are you even still talking to this guy, other than the bill?

1:09:51 Caller Um, I don't know. I still... I see him at least three times a week. He works at my favorite restaurant as a server. My roommate and I go there all the time.

1:10:03 Dr. Bruce Then that should be your least favorite restaurant. You should never go in there. I mean, you should run from this guy. Do you have much insight into why you ever got near this guy?

1:10:10 Adam Couldn't find another Chili's a little further down the road? I mean, yeah, you're still in to this guy, obviously, if you're going into the restaurant three times a week.

1:10:21 Caller He was the first guy that, I mean, I lost my virginity to him.

1:10:25 Adam Oh, okay.

1:10:26 Caller About four months before I got pregnant. Rachel. Yeah?

1:10:30 Adam Yeah. Just listen to me for a second.

1:10:32 Caller Okay.

1:10:33 Adam As you know, I'm a genius. And I'm never wrong, except for this Asian or Jew thing, which I've been wrong with every single time. Absolutely uncanny.

1:10:41 Dr. Bruce You may be redeemed on that one.

1:10:42 Adam Wow. But here's the thing. You know, it's all the signs, the typical signs. Yeah. So here's the thing. This guy getting out of your life will prove to be the greatest single event in your life. You should celebrate the day this guy split every year for the rest of your life. This is a horrible guy. He's going to continue to do this. He's going to do it to other people. Thankful. Fall on your knees and thank your good Lord that this guy's out of your life. Now, the fact that you have to sort of bring him and reintroduce him into your life means there's something going on with you. I don't have time to get into it. The 250 bucks this deadbeat owes you, best 250 bucks you'll ever spend. Stay away from the guy. Go find. And don't give me that crap. Oh, I lost my virginity. Who cares? It's like it's like saying, you know, I'm very nostalgic about this guy because he was the first guy to beat the ass out of me one night when he pulled me out of my car. It's like, yeah, you dodged a bullet. Now move on. And what's wrong with your friends? Why aren't they telling you stay out of stay away from this guy's restaurant? This guy's a loser. You're better than that. What's wrong with your friends? Why are they going with you to the restaurant? Why are they why are they supporting this?

1:12:01 Caller Well, the one of them has been with him too. I mean, I guess that's the only reason she still goes there. She's not over me there.

1:12:08 Dr. Bruce Okay.

1:12:09 Adam Rachel, baby, what's wrong? What happened to your self-esteem?

1:12:12 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:12:13 Adam How did it get so low?

1:12:14 Caller Six foot four.

1:12:15 Caller Huh? I'm huge. I'm six foot four.

1:12:18 Adam Six foot four? Oh, I'm gonna spin on the mic. So what?

1:12:22 Caller It's really tough to date.

1:12:24 Adam Really? How big? What's your weight?

1:12:27 Caller I'm not actually sure of what my weight is, but I wear a size 14, 16.

1:12:33 Adam 14, 16. So you're a lot of woman.

1:12:37 Caller Yeah.

1:12:37 Adam Okay. But let me say this, sweetie pie. Yes, you're big girl. And yes, not all society will be attracted to you, but there will be people attracted to you, and there will be good people attracted to you. And by the way, no people attracted to you for a period of time is better than the wrong people attracted to you, because the wrong people attracted to you can actually get you killed. They can beat the crap out of you, they can get you pregnant, they can destroy your life. Whereas nothing for a few years, go get an education, go work on something, get your career going, get your life going. Take a couple years and do whatever you got to do to get Rachel moving in the right direction. Then when you're doing your thing and you're dialed in, guys will magically be attracted to you. All right?

1:13:27 Dr. Bruce Are you hearing that?

1:13:28 Adam I hear that. All right, that's enough. We gotta take a break.

1:13:31 Dr. Bruce Excellent advice.

1:13:32 Adam Am I right?

1:13:32 Dr. Bruce Yeah, you are. Absolutely.

1:13:35 Adam Don't judge your self-esteem by how into you other people are. That ain't what it's about. I know it sounds, I'm sounding super preachy now, but stop trying to convince everyone you're something you're not or you're hot or you're attractive. Go do your thing. Get off doing your thing and then let them find you doing your thing.

1:13:54 Dr. Bruce Right.

1:13:55 Adam That's what you should do.

1:13:56 Dr. Bruce Yeah, but Rachel's in pain.

1:13:58 Adam Yes.

1:13:58 Dr. Bruce And this guy's like a drug and she'd be just as well off sticking heroin in his arm as going and sleeping with him again.

1:14:03 Adam But you know what? It's a bitch. If you're a woman and you're big and there's something wrong with you physically or you don't look right, I mean what are you going to do?

1:14:12 Dr. Bruce Yeah, but the reality of it is anybody can find somebody.

1:14:16 Adam Drew, please.

1:14:17 Dr. Bruce Drew, how dare you.

1:14:18 Adam No, I just, as a guy, it's like a guy who just hunkers down, starts your own business, gets yourself started.

1:14:22 Dr. Bruce Can an overweight person be happy sexually in a relationship? Absolutely. It has nothing to do with anything.

1:14:30 Adam Listen, let's face it. For, if you're a 19 year old girl and you're overweight and you hear all these idiots on Oprah saying, hey baby, it's what's inside that counts. You can hear all the rhetoric you want. You know, when you go to the club, see how many guys ask you to dance.

1:14:48 Dr. Bruce Right.

1:14:49 Adam Oh, you're beautiful, baby. Oh, big is beautiful. BS.

1:14:52 Dr. Bruce BS.?

1:14:53 Adam You feel like hell. So get your ass together and you'll find the guys in you. All right.

1:14:59 Dr. Bruce I agree.

1:14:59 Adam Take a quick break. Be right back after this.

1:15:33 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

1:15:36 Adam Loveline, everybody, Dr. Bruce, filling in for Dr. Drew. Let's get it on. Let's get it on.

1:15:43 Caller Yeah, get it on. All right, Chris.

1:15:46 Adam Let's go. Got to get it on.

1:15:50 Caller Oh, okay.

1:15:51 Adam I have no choice but to get it on. Must get it on. Mandate to get it on.

1:15:56 Dr. Bruce Anderson thinks we're smoking dope over here.

1:15:58 Adam I'm telling him, punchy. I'm going to do it, punchy. Yeah.

1:16:03 Caller Whatever.

1:16:04 Adam Yeah. Let's go. Dr. Dr. Drew.

1:16:08 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:16:08 Adam As I know him, the cat coming back. The cat. So the mice have to play tonight. Oh, yeah.

1:16:13 Dr. Bruce He'll straighten you out.

1:16:14 Adam He does not go for my shenanigans.

1:16:16 Dr. Bruce No.

1:16:17 Adam Esther.

1:16:18 Hey.

1:16:19 Adam 14.

1:16:21 Yeah.

1:16:22 Adam You're Asian and you have a 36 double D.

1:16:25 Caller Yes.

1:16:27 Adam Wow. And you're 14.

1:16:29 Caller Yeah.

1:16:30 Caller Who is number one?

1:16:31 Adam Oh, that's Minka, the number one Asian big boob queen. Have her say it, Anderson. That's my favorite.

1:16:38 Caller Number one. Asian big boob queen.

1:16:42 Adam Can't say queen. She's hot. Minka. Bad breath though.

1:16:47 Caller Yeah.

1:16:48 Adam Hey, Esther.

1:16:49 Dr. Bruce Don't play tennis no more.

1:16:51 Adam Yeah. She used to play tennis, but then she got the implants.

1:16:55 They're normal.

1:16:56 Adam Yeah. Esther, that is quite a combination, the whole Asian double D thing. Don't see it that often. Yeah. Are you a big gal?

1:17:08 Caller No.

1:17:10 Caller Hmm.

1:17:11 Adam Wow. What kind of Asian are you?

1:17:14 Caller I'm Korean.

1:17:17 Adam Who is the number one?

1:17:18 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:17:20 Adam Tough people. Yeah. I think Minka may have been Korean, too. But in the porn industry, they just assign you. They made her Japanese because Korean was too.

1:17:29 Dr. Bruce Minka is from the porn.

1:17:31 Adam Yeah. Minka is from the porn world. But in the porn world, if you're Asian, they just make you Japanese because it's too confusing to do all the stereotypes and all the titles and all that kind of stuff with Korea. It doesn't really work.

1:17:48 Dr. Bruce In North Hollywood, they can only relate to one type of Asian.

1:17:51 Adam Oh, I didn't even know there's a difference between Japanese and Chinese until like six months ago. I swear to Christ.

1:17:57 Dr. Bruce Okay. So Esther, are you experiencing like verbal abuse from young adolescent males because of your breast size?

1:18:04 Caller No. No.

1:18:07 Adam Are you getting, do you seem like you're getting more attention from males? Or they seem to be looking at you?

1:18:13 Caller Not at all.

1:18:14 Adam Well, what's why? What's up?

1:18:16 Caller I don't know.

1:18:17 Adam Hmm. What grade are you in?

1:18:19 Caller I'm going to be a sophomore.

1:18:21 Adam Going to be a sophomore. That's hard. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. That's the 10th grade, right?

1:18:29 Caller Yeah.

1:18:29 Caller 10th grade.

1:18:30 Adam 10th grade. 14. You're going into the 10th grade?

1:18:34 Caller Yeah.

1:18:34 Caller I'm going to be 15 November.

1:18:36 Adam Wow. Did you skip a grade?

1:18:38 Caller No. I just started school early.

1:18:41 Adam Oh, okay. All right. Well, the good news is at least you're in high school. It's not like you got those big jugs. Now, see, when I went to junior high, junior high went from seventh to ninth, so you'd be in with those double D's and you'd just be going into the ninth grade. Of course, you'd be the only one with double D's in the ninth grade besides Mrs. Wolk, who taught remedial English to me and won about 300 pounds. Oh, but, oh, smelled the high heaven, too. Oh, a female smell, too.

1:19:13 Dr. Bruce She's probably listening tonight.

1:19:14 Adam Oh, her cats probably ate her years ago, 30 cats. But you go to a public school?

1:19:21 Caller Yes.

1:19:22 Adam You do, and it's a good public school?

1:19:24 Caller Yeah, it is actually a good public school.

1:19:26 Caller I actually live in Maryland. I don't live in New York.

1:19:28 Adam Oh, okay. All right. Well, if you go to a good public school and you're in Maryland, people sort of mine their P's and Q's. Now, would you like it if more guys were looking at you or showing you attention?

1:19:42 Caller Yes, but not only because they're good.

1:19:45 Adam Yeah. Well, let me ease your mind here for a second, Esther. First off, name of my first girlfriend, Esther.

1:19:54 Dr. Bruce Can we hear some stories?

1:19:56 Adam Yeah. Got the second base under the stands at the football field.

1:20:02 Dr. Bruce The stands full, or were they?

1:20:03 Adam No. We decided to go under there. They're actually turned over. We're actually on top of them, but technically at the underside. She was, yeah, changed her name to Estie. So here's the thing. Guys, you know, Drew always makes a big deal about this, and we haven't got into this in a while, but guys, especially young men, but almost all men, are into physical attributes of women. And somehow, if a woman has beautiful eyes or beautiful legs, I mean, we all know there's that beautiful blonde chick who's angelic looking, and you just can't take your eyes off her, and she's that 15-year-old, and she's a cheerleader, and all that stuff. Why is it, if she's modestly chested, you're into her? Oh, it's great. Yeah, no, she's beautiful. But if you're into a girl with a big rack, oh, come on now. That's, come on now. You know what I mean? I mean, it's all physical. One person has a great ass. The other one has a great rack. One of them has, you know, a great eyes. The other one has great areolas. It's just physical. You're not into their mind. It's like if there's a woman who's slender and sort of flat chested, but very beautiful, and you're into her, oh, wow, fantastic. Let's throw a parade for the guy. But if she's got a nice rack on her, it's like, come on, buddy, grow up.

1:21:25 Dr. Bruce I've seen studies where adult males that are more fixated on women with large breasts tend to test out more emotionally immature. How dare you? I know, I've hesitated.

1:21:37 Adam How dare you come in here and attack? You didn't see any such...

1:21:39 Dr. Bruce I'm taking my life in my hand. I may never be back in it, but that's the truth.

1:21:42 Adam And the point is, is guys are into physicality. No, there's no 16 year old guy who gives a rat's ass what is going on in the head of a 15 year old girl, other than does she like me? Is she cool? I mean, if she's a total wreck, forget it. And will she put out? So other than that, it's all physical.

1:22:06 Dr. Bruce Yeah, that's when you're a maturing adolescent. So that's a sort of an immature.

1:22:11 Adam We factor everything in. We factor your hair in, your eyes in, your nose in, your ass in, and your boobs in. It all, calves, it all gets factored in. So you just get an A plus in the boob department, but nobody is going to date you, you know, a complete train wreck just because you got a big set of cans. Okay. So how else are you doing, Esther? Everything else cool with you?

1:22:35 Caller Actually, I was wondering like if there's anything that I could do because my back always hurts and I don't know what to do and I can't get like a breast reduction. I'm too young and yeah.

1:22:45 Adam Yeah. Well, from hearing this question over and over on this show, nothing really. I mean, I would say you can't get a reduction at 14. You should stretch as much as possible and do exercises that strengthen your back. And other than that, you know, sort of live with it until you can possibly get a reduction. If that's something that's in your future, you don't want to get a reduction this early because they'll keep growing. And you may want to consult the plastic surgeon anyway, just to say, you know, when you think 17, 18. But I would say tons of like stretching and working out and that kind of stuff for your back. By the way, doing, it's the one thing I know I'm going to think about when I'm on my deathbed, I'm going to say to myself, I should have stretched more.

1:23:35 Dr. Bruce Not like drinking water.

1:23:36 Adam No, shouldn't everyone just stretch more?

1:23:38 Dr. Bruce Stretching, especially before vigorous exercise, but it's rarely done.

1:23:42 Adam Her walking across the room is a vigorous exercise with those cans.

1:23:46 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:23:47 Adam Stretch out, stretch that back. Yeah.

1:23:50 Dr. Bruce Absolutely. Critical.

1:23:52 Adam I wonder what percent, you know what, and I don't think a lot of people know what it's like to really be stretched. But million years ago, I used to kickbox and they would stretch you. I mean, they would force you to stretch because you have to try to kick people in the head. And it's one thing just to sort of stretch on your own, but it's another thing when they get a guy on you and he's leaning on your back and all of a sudden your forehead is pressed against your knees and you're on the floor and you're doing the splits and stuff. You can be stretched, baby, and it is really good. It's painful, but nothing better.

1:24:25 Dr. Bruce No, but if you don't do that, you're going to experience a muscle tear pretty early on and wish you had stretch.

1:24:29 Adam All right, so stretch out. Let's take ourselves a little break. We'll get back with Jennifer as Whiskers growing. I'm sure where those are growing. Jennifer?

1:24:38 Caller Yes.

1:24:38 Adam Whiskers?

1:24:40 Caller Yeah, it's really weird. Like, they're like coarse. A little, well, some of them are coarse and some of them aren't, but they're long and they're black.

1:24:49 Adam Upper lip?

1:24:51 Caller No, on the chin and like on my, like where my, not quite where my sideburns would be, but like down below my ear, on my cheek, my, like my chin, cheek area.

1:25:03 Adam Hold on a second, we got to take a break. I was riding a little momentum into the break with the hot Asian teen with the huge cans, but then we went to the Whiskers call and I lost it.

1:25:16 Dr. Bruce Yep.

1:25:16 Adam Yeah.

1:25:17 Dr. Bruce There's not a lot of, but you know, you could have gone to anal sex.

1:25:21 Adam Nikki loves anal sex. Let's see if I just can't, just get a little blood, maybe I can get a little blood flowing before we head into the bathroom just to, just to lather up just a little bit in case, in case you catch me at the stall. Nikki, you love anal sex?

1:25:36 Caller I do.

1:25:37 Adam All right. You hot?

1:25:40 Caller I would like to think so, yeah.

1:25:42 Adam All right. Hang on.

1:25:43 Dr. Bruce All right.

1:25:43 Adam I got it.

1:25:44 Dr. Bruce You did it.

1:25:44 Adam Well, let's go to the bathroom.

1:25:45 Caller I'm going to have anal sex with my boyfriend and I just, I don't want to, he wants to go all the way with me.

1:25:50 Adam All right, Drew.

1:25:50 Caller Did you lose it?

1:25:52 Adam All right. Bruce here tonight. I got a little wood now. We're going into the break with a little momentum, and we'll be right back after this.

1:25:58 Dr. Bruce I've had anal sex and I passed out a couple of times.

1:26:15 Adam Hey, everybody.

1:26:16 Dr. Bruce Hey.

1:26:17 Adam Comedy expert Adam Carolla here.

1:26:20 Dr. Bruce What's funny, Adam?

1:26:25 Adam Tell you what's funny. What's funny is you people telling me what's funny. That's what's funny.

1:26:28 Dr. Bruce That's funny. Trying to tell you anything's sort of funny.

1:26:30 Adam Telling me stuff. That's a laugh riot. Dr. Bruce, doing a you-man's job. Filling in for Dr. Drew, who'll mercifully be back in the studio tomorrow night.

1:26:44 Dr. Bruce Where's Dr. Drew? Where's Dr. Drew? I love that guy.

1:26:47 Where's Dr. Drew?

1:26:49 Adam I love that guy. Yeah. He'll be back tomorrow night. Now, God love Bruce.

1:26:55 Dr. Bruce Dress the SpongeBob.

1:26:56 Caller Smart.

1:26:57 Adam Smart is the day is long.

1:26:59 Caller Where's the Baton Hoof? Friends of Darkness.

1:27:02 Dr. Bruce I love that guy.

1:27:04 Adam Smart that Bruce. Super smart. Yeah. Doesn't translate into one nickel, but smart. Nicky?

1:27:11 Caller Yeah. Yes, sir.

1:27:15 Adam Diggin anal sex.

1:27:17 Caller I dig it a lot, actually. I don't know. Something I'm really into. My ex-boyfriend was into it and everything like that. I didn't know that's kind of what turned me on to it, but we broke up and now I'm with a new partner and he won't even try it.

1:27:38 Caller Here's the thing.

1:27:41 Adam Part of it is the idea, and I don't know how you couched it to the new guy, but Fudge Packer Number Two is what I like to call him, but is did you say I used to enjoy this with my old guy and I'd like to do it with you now?

1:27:57 Caller I can't have an orgasm unless something is in my ass.

1:28:02 Caller It was more like, I mean, we were sitting around and he was asking me what it is that I actually like to do, and just so I guess he would know how to please me better, and I kind of, I was kind of embarrassed because he seems like he's that pro type. I mean, he doesn't even like to try many things, but I'm really into him and everything, but I kind of just told him. It was kind of hard for me, but then he was kind of like, well, I don't think I'll ever be able to do that, the idea that if he said it doesn't turn him on in any way.

1:28:34 Adam Okay, so there's probably two things working against you. One, he ain't into it, and guys who ain't into it ain't into it. Drew ain't into it, I ain't into it, Bruce is into it exclusively. So really, there's really quite a range. He does nothing but that.

1:28:55 Dr. Bruce Any other issues, Nikki? Abuse issues in the past? Yes, because if you're exclusively into anal, and that's the only way you can have an orgasm, sometimes there's something been going on.

1:29:04 Adam That was Anderson playing a drop, that wasn't her.

1:29:06 Caller Oh, I love anal sex, and I actually masturbate that way as well.

1:29:12 Caller I'm not like this specifically into that. I mean, I do like, you know, regular sex anyway, but.

1:29:18 Adam Can you have an orgasm with regular? Can you have an orgasm with regular sex?

1:29:23 Caller It's kind of like, I guess it's a form of an orgasm. No, I've never, like, came where, you know, where you watch pornos and it's like, you know, girls are gushing out or anything like that. No, I've never experienced.

1:29:33 Adam No, no, I'm just saying, listen, did I say gushing out and watching? Can you have an orgasm through regular sex?

1:29:44 Caller I would guess I would say, I don't know. And I guess if I say, I don't know.

1:29:47 Adam Hold on a second. Look, when there's a good 25 second pause between the question and the answer, we'll just go with no. And it's no with everything. It's just whenever there's a huge long pause, it's just no. So, no, what about through oral sex?

1:30:05 Caller No, I don't like oral sex.

1:30:08 Adam Can we cut the huge time lapse in between the answer?

1:30:11 Dr. Bruce Do you just want a lot of pod or else?

1:30:13 Adam What's going on, Nikki? Okay, do not do the 10 Mississippi count in your head. Just say no. Not into oral sex.

1:30:21 Caller Something happened when I was a girl and I prefer not to.

1:30:25 Adam What happened? Grandpa?

1:30:27 Caller No, it wasn't my grandpa.

1:30:28 Adam Who did this? What happened?

1:30:30 Caller It was a guy that I've known most of my life. I was sleeping and it kind of just happened. It wasn't good because, I don't know, ever since then I don't like it. It kind of just creeps me out.

1:30:43 Dr. Bruce Okay, so to cut to the chase, you've had sexual abuse issues.

1:30:47 Adam Yeah, you've got issues, baby. Okay, the thing's going on and here's the problem. All right, this is all I got to say. I've got to take another call real quick. What freaks a lot of guys out is you go on, I'm 19, I want anal, I love anal, and the guy not only could be freaked out about the anal part, but he's freaked out about the part that's driving your ass. Right, exactly. Which is the past abuse part, and you don't think there's a connection to it, and this guy doesn't even know about it, he just feels it. You hear some chick saying, make a fist and punch me in the face when you're having sex with me. It's not that you wouldn't enjoy punching her in the face, it's that you realize, uh-oh, your spidey sense starts tingling. What happened? Who punched her in the face? What weird atrocity was performed on her when she was nine years old? And then you get freaked out because you're like animals first that are trying to steer clear of trouble and then human second. Yes? All right.

1:31:45 Dr. Bruce Absolutely.

1:31:45 Adam Here's the deal. If he doesn't want to do anal, he ain't doing anal. And do not sabotage your relationship. You're into the guy, fine. Spare him the stories about how much you love anal with your old partner over and over and over again. And work on not sabotaging this relationship. And you got to get some therapy for that past abuse.

1:32:07 Dr. Bruce One more word, incontinence.

1:32:08 Adam Incontinence.

1:32:09 Dr. Bruce Too much anal, you're going to be wearing a diaper in ten years.

1:32:12 Adam That's right.

1:32:13 Dr. Bruce They're muscles down there, you stretch them out. Really? Yeah, no absolutely.

1:32:16 Adam All right.

1:32:17 Dr. Bruce Well, let's try some of your porn favorites.

1:32:19 Adam Tonight will be my last night. Jennifer?

1:32:22 Caller Yes.

1:32:22 Adam Yeah, whiskers on the chin.

1:32:25 Caller Yeah. They're like, not out of them, or like course, like a man's beard.

1:32:32 Caller Right.

1:32:32 Adam And these things just started coming out.

1:32:35 Caller Like about a year ago or maybe two years ago.

1:32:37 Caller All right.

1:32:38 Adam What do you think?

1:32:38 Caller Work up?

1:32:39 Adam Maybe a little problem with thyroid or something like that, Bruce?

1:32:44 Dr. Bruce Well, if you just have a few of them, it sounds more genetic. I mean, if you start to have a heavy crop of dark, coarse hair, that's something more in pursuit.

1:32:53 Caller My mom doesn't have them.

1:32:55 Dr. Bruce Are you a little overweight or?

1:32:57 Caller Not much, maybe just a little bit. How much do you weigh? I'm like 193. You're fat.

1:33:06 Adam How tall are you?

1:33:07 Caller I'm about six foot.

1:33:09 Adam Ooh, well, people are getting big out there.

1:33:11 Dr. Bruce You're overweight.

1:33:11 Adam I thought myself a basketball team.

1:33:13 Dr. Bruce And how old?

1:33:14 Adam All right, 28.

1:33:15 Dr. Bruce So things like polycystic ovary, syndrome or disease, what we were talking about, you can have a hormonal.

1:33:21 Adam Go to the doctor, get a little checkup, just make sure it's not some hormonal thing.

1:33:23 Dr. Bruce Yeah, and then get some laser hair or hormonal.

1:33:24 Adam Yeah, you're fine.

1:33:25 Dr. Bruce Works nice for dark, coarse hair.

1:33:26 Adam I will take a quick break. Be right back after this. Well, Dr. Drew, regrettably, coming back in the studio tomorrow night.

1:34:19 Where's Dr. Drew?

1:34:21 Adam Dr. Bruce.

1:34:22 Dr. Bruce Don't slap that kid.

1:34:22 Adam Great job, buddy.

1:34:24 Dr. Bruce Hey, thank you.

1:34:24 Adam Awesome job.

1:34:25 Dr. Bruce I had a good time tonight.

1:34:26 Adam Me too. Always a good time. Always a good time with Dr. Bruce, who...

1:34:30 Dr. Bruce You didn't call me Dr. Spaz once tonight.

1:34:32 Adam No, no. No, I forgot. I gotta write that down next time. All right. Well, God bless you, Bruce. Good job. Dr. Drew in tomorrow night. And until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Who? Not Dr. Spaz. Dr. Bruce. Saying mahalo. And a better doctor than Dr. Drew.

1:34:54 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:34:59 Adam The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, June 28, 2005