Episode 1000717390028

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline. With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:20 Adam Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's not Dr. Drew. That's Dr. Ohad, who is OBGYN, who you've heard on this show on numerous occasions. Filling in, yes. Oh, Dr. Ben. Oh, that's sorry. It's just easier. Yeah, it's easier. Into the mic. Oh, there I am. Yeah, it makes it easier, too. Couldn't pull it toward you. Dr. Ben is, yeah, I knew I called you something different in the past. Well, Dr. Ben is a gynecologist and an obstetrician and delivers babies, and he knows all about them parts down there. And here's the thing, quite a bit, too. Let me say this about Dr. Ben. Dr. Ben's the real McCoy, smart guy. A lot of people claim to do things for a living, but the second you start picking their brain, I scratched her brain like a lotto ticket, and it turns out they know nothing. I'm amazed at the amount of people that claim they're a professional, fill in the blank, and then the second's like, you're number one Mitsubishi dealership in North America, huh? How much horsepower does a Glant have? Oh, it's Peppy. You don't know! You don't know! You don't know anything! That's how most people are. This is how most people are. Walk around, go to the stereo store, talk to the guy. He wants four grand for a 42-inch Plasma. Is this one, is this a monitor, or does this have the speakers built in? Let me check on that. Really, it's just, you don't know.

2:52 Drew Those must be the new guys.

2:53 Adam It's everybody.

2:54 Drew Really, you think it's everybody?

2:55 Adam Nobody knows anything. We're living in, see, there used to be a time when people just prided themselves on knowing stuff, and now you get penalized for knowing stuff. I know you're considered bookworm, or kiss-ass, or old. So the point is, is Dr. Ben actually knows things, which is amazing.

3:16 Drew Wow. Your mouth is writing checks. I better be able to catch. You better be able to catch. You're putting my butt on the line right now.

3:22 Adam Here's the thing about Dr. Ben. We've had him on the show many times, and questions come up about new forms of birth control, and all sorts of matters that pertain to this region in this world, and he has an answer for everything. Yes, you do.

3:38 Drew Right. It might not be the right answer, but I'll give you an answer. No, no.

3:41 Adam That's not the point. The point is you have confidence in chutzpah, as your people say.

3:45 Drew Thank you.

3:46 Adam So, actually, people say chutzpah. But I didn't want to get crap all over the mic. So first off, so tonight we should be steering our questions because Dr. Drew is following his daughter in some sort of ice skating tournament. Wow. That's pretty cool. It's cool.

4:04 Drew Is it good-involved ed? That's commendable.

4:06 Adam No, it's awesome. Yeah. It's gonna be eating disorder on the way. But yeah, it's awesome, except for when his wife hits me up.

4:14 Drew For?

4:15 Adam She's like, the girl's ice skating group wants to go to Paris this year and we're taking doughnuts. And I'm like, you want, first off, all you, of course, you ice skating parents don't know, you know, it's not like you guys are playing like, you know, inner city pop or football or something. You guys are all filthy rich, number one. Number two, I don't need to, I don't need to subsidize 11 year old's trip to Paris.

4:41 Drew Yeah.

4:41 Adam And by the way, this is like two or three years ago. Like, oh, you mean she's made it, she's almost made it to 10, has not seen Europe. She's not seen it. Champs-Elysees, she's almost 11. Oh, good Lord.

4:54 Drew Yeah.

4:54 Adam I didn't see an airplane until I was 33. Are you high? She's like, okay, make the check out. I'm like, I'm not giving you any money.

5:03 Drew Did you get away with it? Did he let you get away with it? Okay.

5:06 Adam Are you kidding?

5:07 Drew You guys have a good relationship.

5:09 Adam We got a relationship like a cop and a vagrant. They just run out and start beating her and yelling her, move on, keep moving. Yeah, it's awesome. So no, I would not subsidize that. I mean, Drew's kids, you know, Drew's kids have been through the Panama Canal.

5:24 Wow.

5:25 Adam They've had an audience with Castro. Actually, they've been to Cuba.

5:30 Drew That's amazing.

5:31 Adam I know, but I want to, I don't know, I don't, I don't, is it, but does it make a difference? You know what I mean?

5:38 Drew You know what? It's got to make, you know, if they're doing it together, it's worth it.

5:42 Adam I'm jealous.

5:42 Drew More power to them. I'm bitter. And I'm hoping they're having a good time. Are they in Paris now?

5:45 Adam No, now they went to like Connecticut or Vermont or something. They're going to New York. They're going, she got into figure skating and they just travel all over the world.

5:55 Drew Wow.

5:56 Adam Yeah.

5:56 Drew That's wonderful.

5:57 Adam Yeah.

5:58 Drew I hope they're having fun.

5:59 Adam Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, Dr. Ben is filling in. So the questions tonight, and although you're a physician, you could answer general medical questions. But your specialty. Sure.

6:11 Drew Let's make it something that we can really work on. So.

6:14 Adam Right. So.

6:14 Drew General gynecology.

6:16 Adam Trying to have kids. Burnt control. Contraception.

6:20 Drew Sexually transmitted diseases, anything. Just throw it my way. I'll see if I can pick it up. All right.

6:25 Adam Well, let's start with Holden over here. Who's 17.

6:29 Holden?

6:30 Yes.

6:31 Adam What's up?

6:33 Not much.

6:33 I just had a question for you guys. My question is, me and my partner, we like to have anal and it gets really rough. I was just wondering if she could get any real good damages on the insides from that. Yeah. She says she has pains and stuff sometimes.

6:50 Adam Pains. Plural. Hey, Holden?

6:54 Yeah.

6:54 Adam I'm going to go ahead and label this as a bogus question.

6:58 Oh, why is that?

6:59 Adam Because I read you like a dime store novel. You're paper thin, buddy. It's like holding a rice paper up to a Klieg light. There's nothing. You got nothing.

7:12 Drew You got nothing?

7:13 Adam You got nothing, Holden.

7:15 Drew Come on.

7:16 Seriously?

7:19 Drew Did you hear his voice, bro?

7:21 Adam Yes.

7:21 Drew That was the tell. You know, last year, it was the jar. What was it?

7:28 Adam The mason jar.

7:29 Drew Last year, we got a mason jar call. It's been a little bit. Is this what's going on this year? What's the thing this year?

7:36 Adam No, here's the thing. Bogus calls are the new black. They're just, it's just every type of bogus call. No rhyme, no reason, no direction, no theme, no motive. Just all bogus all the time.

7:50 Drew So should we even try? I mean, should I even go there?

7:53 Adam Let's play Best Of and pack it in right now. Michelle, cue up some Best Of. Find a show where Rackman was hosting so we can get some entertaining. Get some good guests on here and let's just get out of here. Drew will be back and it'll be awesome. He'll be talking about his two year old triplets. It'll be awesome.

8:09 Drew Okay.

8:10 Adam All right, let's just keep going. I just, I can hear the bogus in the voice.

8:13 Drew Wow, you're good.

8:14 Adam Thank you. Desiree?

8:16 Yeah.

8:17 Adam You're 17? What's up?

8:20 Well, I didn't know Dr. Drew would be gone, but-

8:22 Drew I'm sorry. Good.

8:24 Good stuff. That's all right.

8:26 Adam It's a mitzvah for you.

8:27 Drew I'll do my best.

8:28 Okay.

8:29 Where's Dr. Drew?

8:32 Okay. I met my boyfriend when I was 16 and he was 19. We met in college and we've been together for about nine months now.

8:40 Adam What were you doing in college?

8:41 Drew 16. That's early, right?

8:43 I got my VD in immediately after college.

8:45 Adam Yeah, but junior college.

8:47 Well, yeah, we met at tech school.

8:49 Drew Okay.

8:50 Adam What were you learning to do?

8:53 I was going in for my basics and then I was going to go ahead and go into journalism but then I quit and that's another story.

8:58 Adam Hold on. Tech school for journalism?

9:02 No, you get your basics at a tech school because it's cheaper than going to a-

9:05 Adam You mean tech school? You mean like junior college?

9:07 Washtenaw Technical College, yeah. Okay.

9:12 Adam Oh, hold on a second.

9:13 Drew You used to say that that's high school with astrays. Is that different? Are we talking about something else?

9:17 Adam Yes. Hackey-Sachs. I've now added to that mix. Here's the thing I don't understand. This is a Loveline call. It's like you go, I graduated high school when I was 16 and you're picturing an Asian guy holding a cello. Got it. Oh my God. This is amazing. Now, our people just took the GED, which you could technically pass in the 5th grade, by the way. They take the GED. I know. You don't know from GED. Your parents would kill yourself if they ever even brought up G. The point is, is they take the GED in the 11th grade and then they go to junior college and then they languish in junior college, which is like, why don't you just stay in high school for another year and a half and go to regular college?

9:57 Drew What's the rush? Like, what's the GED?

9:59 Adam Well, what it is is you get to say you graduated high school early and started college when the reality is everyone in high school is smarter than you are. Everyone, every, here's the deal. A C plus high school senior is smarter than your average junior college student. You see what I'm saying?

10:16 Drew Got it.

10:17 Adam All right.

10:17 Drew Okay. So now that we're done making fun of Desiree.

10:20 Adam No, I'm not done.

10:21 Drew No.

10:21 Adam I'm just getting started.

10:22 Drew Sorry, Desiree, let's try to help you.

10:24 Adam All right. So you got your GED, then you want to-

10:26 Homeschooler, thank you.

10:28 Adam Homeschooler. Oh, it's a disaster. Then you went to junior college.

10:34 Yeah, yeah. So we met there in college and we've been together for like nine months and we're engaged to be married next spring after I'm 18 in January, right? So things are getting serious.

10:45 Drew You're doing everything really quickly, Desiree.

10:47 Adam Yeah, why so early?

10:49 Drew Bam, bam, bam.

10:49 If Dr. Drew was here, he would immediately tell you, oh, have you been abused? Yeah, so he would say that. Yeah, so I had to grow up.

10:58 Adam Well, you were homeschooled, and it sounds like your parents were very protective. I don't really mean that in a good way. And you got out of the house as soon as you can, and now you're looking to get married and start a family. Like, you're looking to run from something. Yeah.

11:13 You actually want to hear what my homeschooling was. I basically watched MTV, surfed the internet, and read Jane Austen books. That's what my homeschooling was. My mom went to work, and I stayed home by myself.

11:22 Adam Right. Then why?

11:23 Drew Homeschooling means cutting school now?

11:26 Adam Homeschool is...

11:29 Drew Okay, well... Okay, but keep talking, Dad. I'm just trying to figure it out and go for it.

11:32 Adam Yeah, here's the deal. Here's what I understand. I just want to understand about our society. All right. If you want to put a second story on your garage, you got to go down to City Hall and kiss the man's ass. If you want to take your kid and just keep him at home and ruin him, that's your business. You know what I mean? If you want to take your retarded religious beliefs and foist it on your kid, go right ahead. If you never want to let him see the light of day, go right ahead. But if you want to do anything on your house, I don't care if you want to put in a picket fence, you better go down and get a permit and get some drawings and get an engineer and get a soils report.

12:07 Drew Okay.

12:08 Adam I just, to me, homeschooling, unless your parents are teachers, no, you got to get out of the house. Yeah.

12:16 Drew Well, it's important to get out of the house for more than just schooling, right? I mean, you have to learn how to deal with people your age. You have to learn how to interact with, you know, parents and that's very difficult to do in a home.

12:27 Adam But if your kid doesn't show up for school, they come knocking on your door. Where's your kid? Why isn't he at school? And then if you just go, oh, we're homeschooling them, then they leave you alone. Meanwhile, what's homeschooling? They never check it out. Desiree?

12:41 Yeah.

12:42 Adam All right. So you're just basically warehoused.

12:44 Yeah, basically.

12:46 Adam Yeah. Well, at least you had MTV. I just got warehoused over at North Hollywood High.

12:49 Thank God for Fuse.

12:51 Adam So for what?

12:52 Drew Fuse?

12:53 Yeah.

12:54 Drew Is that a show?

12:55 Adam I don't guess so. Okay.

12:56 Anyway, so.

12:56 Adam So here's the thing. You're anxious to get out of your home because your parents are oppressive. You got out, you met this guy in junior college, and now you want to get married.

13:06 Caller Yeah. Well, now we're kind of serious and it's just kind of bothering me that the constant, oh, well, you know, you might leave me for some other guy keeps coming up or, oh, I'm shit. And I'm just like, either this is coming from he, when he was in high school, he was constantly being picked on for being a punk and, and being chubby. And when I think last year, one of his best friends died. So I'm wondering, like, does he need to go to therapy? Because this is really bugging me, me constantly having to reassure him.

13:33 Adam All right, Desiree, listen to me. You're not stupid. You just grew up around stupid people.

13:39 Caller That's true.

13:39 Adam A little of their stupid stink rubbed off on you.

13:42 Caller Okay.

13:42 Adam You need to not get married. Nineteen-year-old guys aren't ready to get married.

13:48 Drew Yeah, here's what I'm getting out of this. I think this is maybe his way of having her back out. Maybe he's trying to sabotage. Yeah, he's trying to sabotage this because I'm not sure he's ready. So he's gonna say, well, you know, you're gonna leave me and I'm not good enough for you, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then basically just giving you enough outs where you're like, okay, I've had it. And he gets off the hook.

14:07 Adam There's, yeah, whether he knows it or not, it could be subconscious. Also, 19 year old guys are all over the map when it comes to relationship. They're jealous. The next thing you know, they're camped out in front of your house. They're stalking you. It's getting a little cathartic, but they are all, I mean, they're just all over the map. It's like, it's almost like they almost can't physically handle a long-term committed intimate relationship because they're like puppies. They just can't handle the responsibility of it. They're nuts haven't dropped yet. I don't know what it is. 19 year old men can't do that.

14:46 Drew I would say especially men. Maybe women get through the process earlier, but men are just not cooked at 19. I don't think we're done.

14:53 Adam No, we got a gooey center.

14:55 Drew Yeah, we're not cooked.

14:56 Adam No.

14:57 Drew He needs more time.

14:58 Adam That's right. We're pink in the middle. And also, when I'm in charge, people who meet under my regime, people who meet in junior college will have to be sterilized because I can't have that horrible gene passed on. You know what I mean? That mutant, retard gene. Kids are going to come out five arms and no brain. Do you know what I'm saying? You want two junior collegeers hooking up? They're going to give birth to an ashtray. Just a bean bag ashtray, the ones who used to have me in the car. I didn't even know if a kid would come out of them. Is that what we need? A legacy?

15:34 Drew Do you know what I'm saying?

15:35 Adam Yeah, I'm just going to have... someone's going to be sterilized. I'm going to have to keep them away from each other.

15:41 Drew Yeah.

15:41 Adam Alright, and I say this with great love because everyone in my family went to junior college with them. Look at them. Alright, let's go... Can alcohol tolerance be passed on? That's interesting.

15:51 Drew That's interesting. I don't know the answer to that, but that's an interesting point.

15:54 Adam Well, let's see if we can put our two great brains together and get to the bottom of it. Nick?

15:58 Yeah.

15:59 Adam Yeah. You want to know, do you have a high tolerance for alcohol?

16:04 Yeah.

16:05 Adam Mm-hmm. See, we used to call that heavyweight as opposed to lightweight, you know?

16:11 I wish I wasn't, but yeah.

16:13 Adam Yeah, no, it's nice. It's like people, it's like small people complain a lot, but I got a small buddy, name is Deweze. He just flew JetBlue to New York, and I realized to you, every seat is first class. I mean, I'm 6'2, I got lots of elbows and knees. If I fly coach, it's really uncomfortable. The person in the seat reclines in front of me, the tray pushes into my sternum. This guy's a miniature person, and the difference between coach and first class is our two sizes. Yeah. I don't think his feet touched a carpet when he sits in the thing. He's comfortable. Now let me say this. Lightweight, same thing. A couple of beers, you're effed up. You're good for the night. Save a lot of time and a lot of money. Plus if you get pulled over and you have to take a breathalyzer, it doesn't know that you're in between a heavyweight and a lightweight.

17:05 Drew Right.

17:07 Adam See what I mean? You get effed up, but not legally effed up as fast.

17:12 Drew They're coming out with a pill that makes you get drunk faster.

17:14 Adam Oh really?

17:15 Yeah.

17:16 Adam Anderson. Did people hear you say that on the air? Yeah. Good. Got to get me a prescription.

17:22 Drew That'll save some money.

17:24 Adam Well, here's the thing. If you're heavyweight, you got to drink, you know, a 12 pack, a 12 pack of beer. You get fat, you get poor and you get pulled over.

17:30 Drew Yeah.

17:31 Adam Nick.

17:32 Yeah.

17:33 Adam Nick.

17:34 Drew Yep.

17:34 Adam So you're you got the heavyweight gene?

17:37 Yeah, I think so.

17:39 Adam All right.

17:39 Drew How much do you weigh? How tall are you?

17:42 262, 230.

17:44 Drew Yeah, that's going to take, you know, more than a couple of beers.

17:47 No, but me, I'll drink a 12 pack in an hour. And after that, I'm just full.

17:54 Drew Oh, more full than drunk.

17:55 Adam More full than drunk. Well, you got to shift over to either, you know, like a grain alcohol, like a harder alcohol, or maybe a heroin.

18:03 The only time I've actually been drunk, I drink like, you know, the big vodka bottles.

18:09 Adam Yeah.

18:10 I drink like three quarters of those by myself. Yeah. Drinking alone. That's the only time I've ever been drunk.

18:17 Drew I have a question for Nick. You're 21. You live in Riverside. Do you go to school at UC Riverside?

18:25 Caller No.

18:26 Drew Oh, okay.

18:26 Adam Shocking.

18:27 Drew I was just wondering. That was my alma mater and I used to know guys like Nick. I was just wondering if that's where he went.

18:33 Adam Do you do roof? What do you do? Drywall? What do you do, Nick?

18:37 Caller Oh, wait. Right now.

18:40 Adam Right now? Yeah. Okay.

18:42 Drew Drinking.

18:43 Adam So Nick, you're in the same boat that a lot of myself and a lot of my idiot friends were when we were 21. You have to pick up a path and figure out something that you're into and get into it and just figure out something other than trying to get f'd up and do it.

18:59 Caller No, I don't drink a lot.

19:02 Adam All right.

19:02 Caller I'm just, you know, when I do...

19:04 Adam All right, I'm bored. But here's the thing. Yes, I do believe some people have the heavyweight gene.

19:12 Drew I wouldn't doubt it.

19:12 Adam There are people who drink a little bit and just don't remember the night before, get crazy, defecate on the coffee table. And then there are people that are loaded and you can't even really tell by talking to them. This is why I want the designation on my license. Of heavyweight, heavyweight status in the alcohol department. Because here's the deal. I got hand surgery a few years back. I had a couple of Vicodin, a couple of beers, got my car, no problem. Never been an accident in my life. I know everyone's like, oh, you can't talk about... Look, here's the reality. Me, with 18 beers in me, better driver than my mom, Sunday morning, stone cold sober. That's the reality. That's the bottom line. So here's the deal. I'm 190 pounds. If I drink four beers and get pulled over, I'll blow over a.08 and I'll get arrested. Me with four beers in me, I could have four beers in me right now. You'd have no idea. I could put four beers in me right now and drive through the pylon cone course faster than anyone in this building. No problem. You see what I'm saying?

20:22 Drew I gotcha.

20:23 Adam So why shouldn't, shouldn't that be factored in?

20:26 Drew I wonder if there's a way to do that though. Because on a breathalyzer wouldn't see the difference.

20:31 Adam Breathalyzer.

20:32 Drew That would be a tough one.

20:32 Adam Right. Here's what I'm saying. My mom could have one glass of champagne, get behind the wheel, be completely legal, as far as the breathalyzer goes.

20:42 Drew You wouldn't trust her.

20:42 Adam Plow through an orphanage. As she does almost every weekend. All right.

20:47 Drew You have to bail her out every weekend.

20:49 Adam One small glass, a thimble of champagne, and then write for the orphanage. Whereas me, I could have myself five, six beers, blow 0.15, but be fine. I want the heavyweight designation on my license. I just want to go down to the proving grounds for the CHP, set up the pylons, give me a couple of shots of Smirnoff and just see how I do. Make it through the pylons, I'm fine.

21:17 Drew Interesting point.

21:17 Adam It is.

21:18 Drew Yeah, you and Nick could have a drink over it.

21:20 Adam Yeah.

21:20 Drew That's a good point.

21:21 Adam No, the reality is, is I know guys that have circled the globe drunk. Nobody ever wants to talk about it because it's like, oh, listen, you don't ever get behind BS. If you're a good driver and you're not an idiot, you drive drunk, you're fine. Still better than half the people are on the road. And what about once a year when you open the paper and you see the old guy plowed through the marketplace? Is he drunk? Whoa. Is he drunk? No, he's not drunk. So what about him? He wasn't drunk. Uh-huh.

21:48 Drew Good point.

21:49 Adam Thank you. Very provocative.

21:52 Drew Nick, you sparked something in Adam. He's totally into that question. Yeah.

21:56 Adam All right. But is it a gene? Can you pass it on?

22:00 Drew I can tell you honestly, I do not know.

22:02 Adam And I can tell you honestly, nobody really knows. You pass on the alcoholic gene.

22:06 Drew Definitely that.

22:07 Adam But not the heavyweight gene.

22:09 Right.

22:10 Adam Tina? Hi. 32. Hi.

22:15 Hi, Dr. Ben. Hi, Adam. Hey, Adam. 34 double D.

22:20 Adam Really?

22:20 Yeah.

22:21 Adam That's good, you see. People, I don't have to tell us that Dr. Ben, he handles boobs all day for a living. He's paid to handle boobs. But, you know, a lot of people do that D-Cop, and it all sounds great, but they're like 42 triple D. That's a 700 pound woman. What you want is that 34 D-Cop. You know, it's the small back. Double D.

22:42 For your pleasure.

22:43 Adam That's right. All right, so what's wrong with you? Bad teeth?

22:47 Drew He's already a big fan.

22:48 Yeah.

22:49 Okay, here's my, what'd you ask me, Adam?

22:51 Adam Go ahead, baby.

22:52 Okay, here's my question. You know how, Dr. Ben, you don't have to get your period anymore? Like you can take the pill without taking the fourth week, just consecutively?

23:04 Drew Correct.

23:05 Caller How long can you do that for?

23:08 Drew For as long as you need to not get pregnant, basically. I mean, you can do that forever.

23:14 Caller And then my mom kicks in and-

23:16 Drew Yeah, basically. I mean, there are some people who do that for specific medical issues, like some people have menstrual migraines, so as soon as they get their periods, they're going to have a real bad migraine headache and they don't want to get that. So they basically, for medical reasons, need to keep doing what you're talking about.

23:30 Adam Oh, I think a lot of people believe that you're sort of playing god with someone's ovaries. Like somehow you taking control that way is going to have no free lunches in nature. Somehow you're going to end up getting osteoporosis when you're 51 or something. But the pill's been around long enough now that it's just nothing. Nothing comes of it.

23:54 Drew And honestly, it's interesting. There's actually a good story, Adam, I won't bore you with the details, on how we came up with going on a 28-day cycle. It doesn't even have to be 28. It was totally almost random based on the lunar theory of menses. There are lots of women all over the world who don't get monthly cycles, and it's considered completely normal. It's only in kind of Western society that women expect to have monthly periods. In many parts of the world, having a period once every three months is totally, totally normal. Why? That's on their own. Is their diet? Nutrition, mostly, stress, nutrition. A lot of things can change how somebody menstruates and ovulates.

24:34 Adam Is it safe to say that in general, the better your diet and the less... You're not carrying water in a gourd on your head for 70 miles every day, but you're sitting home, you're having a sort of Western, comfy life out here. Is that going to make a period once a month?

24:53 Drew Yeah, generally speaking...

24:54 Adam The stress and the diet and everything screws it up.

24:56 Drew As long as you've got enough fat on board, you're most likely going to have plenty to make normal, regular monthly periods.

25:02 Adam Right, so these countries you speak of, we're not talking about Sweden.

25:06 Drew Yeah, but in a way, you have to think, if we took ourselves back 50,000 years ago, we might have been a little bit more like that. We had to run to catch our food, we had to... It was totally different. We barely had enough to kind of stay alive. Back then, you could say that humans originally were never meant to have monthly cycles. That's actually a fairly common misconception of what has to be normal. It doesn't have to be monthly.

25:29 Adam It's interesting. So, is the hypotheses, or I don't know how they know, they find like a tampon fossils or something. But I mean, write that down. That's a great cracker. Tampon fossils.

25:42 Awesome.

25:43 Adam Little of that cheese squirted in the center. Here's the thing, 100,000 years ago, do you think, do most people agree that women didn't have, didn't cycle every month?

25:56 Drew I would say that that's overwhelmingly true.

25:57 Adam And now they've gotten a little more relaxed, a little extra layer of fat, not quite as stressful, and now it's every month.

26:04 Drew That's right.

26:05 Adam Could we look forward to every three weeks, 100,000 years from now?

26:09 Drew No, generally speaking, that's kind of what we think, that if we have enough fat reserves, that's basically what most women are going to cycle at. Yeah, about 28 days and we'll go, let's say, between 21 and 35 days. So right around 28 days, plus or minus seven days.

26:22 Adam So by doing this with the pill, you're just sort of getting back to where we may have been millions of years ago.

26:28 Drew Well, you're actually getting back to what Western society is doing now. And you're, in a way, you're kind of, you said playing God and taking over and doing things unnaturally. We're doing that all the time as soon as we do birth control pills. So in a way, to manipulate things even further, and let's say not have periods for a year or two years, it's just basically all the same thing. You're just manipulating it so that you're not having periods.

26:48 Adam I don't feel that way. I just think that people have this feeling that eventually they're going to have to pay the fiddler. You take a pill to do something to make you different for 30 years, and eventually it's going to come time to pay. I think that's where people are coming from.

27:04 Drew I hear you. Do we have time to get into it?

27:06 No.

27:06 Drew Because I can actually explain why there's actually a lot of health reasons to stay that way and not have periods, but okay.

27:12 Adam I'm here, but you're just here to say that is not true and the birth control pill has been around for 45 years and no side effects.

27:21 Drew Well, there are side effects on birth control pill, but certainly going on for three weeks and getting a period and going on for four weeks in a row and not having a period, in other words, never taking a break, a seven day break, there's nothing necessarily wrong with doing that. The reason why we allow people to get that seven day placebo break is to constantly reassure them, I'm not pregnant, I'm not pregnant, I just got my period, I'm not pregnant, I'm not pregnant. That's more of what we're doing.

27:45 Adam All right. Are you saying you're not pregnant?

27:48 Drew I haven't gotten a period in a long time.

27:49 Adam Wow. All right. I didn't know the placebo sugar pill break was to let them know that. So, okay. All right.

27:57 Drew Just a concentration.

27:58 Adam Interesting. All right. We'll take ourselves a quick break. Dr. Ben, see, I told you, he knows things, everybody. He's filling in for Dr. Drew and, oh, Durex. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Yeah. Speaking of sex, I got a little game we're playing here this week, which is I picked the caller at some point tonight, the best call of the night or when I just get lazy and remember. That caller is going to get themselves a party pack, which includes some CDs and a poker set and money. I'm not going to tell you the amount, but you can imagine it's just they're back the brinks truck up to your house. That's because whenever they don't mention the amount of money, that means a ton of money and a bunch of Durex condoms every night this week. I'm going to pick one caller who's 18 years old and we're going to give them these fabulous prizes brought to you by Durex. Remember, there's sex and then there's Durex. Take a quick break. Be right back after this.

28:56 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1, Loveline, Loveline, with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

29:02 We'll be right back.

29:05 The one and only Live 105.

29:24 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Ben. Dr. Ben is an OBGYN, and he is filling in for Dr. Drew, and he has the answers. And always learn something when Dr. Ben comes in. Like I didn't know those placebo sugar pills in the pack of birth control were there just to let people have their cycles so they knew they weren't pregnant, which makes sense. Yeah?

29:51 Yep.

29:53 Adam What's on the horizon? What about any male birth control stuff?

29:57 Drew I don't think I can talk too much about male birth control. People are trying all kinds of different things. Unfortunately, the problem with a lot of the male contraceptives that people are trying to put together have anti-testosterone effects, and that's the last thing that guys want to hear about is people messing with their testosterone. For example, DepoProvera, which is a female contraceptive, as an injection is given to sex offenders because once a man gets DepoProvera injected into them, their sperm production gets almost to zero, but their sex drive also goes down to zero. That's unfortunately kind of a bucket that comes together.

30:33 Adam Really?

30:33 Drew Yeah. A lot of times when you work on sperm, you also decrease testosterone level, and that's sometimes a tough gig to work on for them.

30:40 Adam Essentially, a guy can't get anyone pregnant, but a guy doesn't want to get anyone pregnant. He just got to sit home and watch his stories and cry.

30:47 Drew So what good is that?

30:48 Adam Watch the dog whisperer on Oprah. Dogs are pack animals. Oh, they're pack animals. Where is my Stenopad? This guy is a genius.

31:00 Caller Your job is not to be your dog's best friend.

31:03 Adam Oh, again, where's the pen?

31:05 Drew Well, if you're a guy watching Oprah, you already know there's something going on.

31:09 Adam There's already something going on. They're already lactating right into your postum. So pathetic. Oh, what you women buy.

31:17 Drew What does this mean when the light goes on?

31:20 Adam That's an error, right? That means, that means incoming.

31:24 Drew What just happened here?

31:25 Adam Why did that happen? I don't know, the phone's ringing or something. I don't know what that is. There's a red light above us.

31:30 Drew It's just the phone.

31:30 Adam Oh, the phone's ringing?

31:32 Drew I thought it was a noise. I thought it meant to stop you from talking about something. I don't know what it means.

31:37 Adam Right. We'd have sunburns from that thing if that was the way it worked. So you get a depot is given to sex offenders. Yeah. That's a common thing, the parole that once a month, once a week. What do you have to do?

31:55 Drew Even castration has been tried before on sex offenders. Any way that you can get testosterone out of the equation, you're already going to basically put somebody down. Right. They're going to be like not too interested.

32:09 Adam Well, let me let me ask you this, though, with the sex offender thing, because it's it's interesting to me whether this is, you know, a physical drive, an emotional drive, or both. And who knows or different in different sex offenders. You remove the sort of testosterone from the sex offender. You remove this sort of physical urge to do commit whatever crime against whatever individual. But it does it also have an effect emotionally?

32:38 Drew Well, let's put it this way. We know that testosterone and estrogens have receptors on the brain. I mean, there are receptors for these hormones that we make that definitely give you drive. Different sorts. So if you take that out of the equation, those receptors aren't stimulated. And that's clearly going to have an emotional aspect to it.

32:53 Adam Right.

32:53 Drew So one can only assume that there's that it works both ways.

32:56 Adam I guess what I'm saying is, is what if you're a sexual offender and it's not so much a sexual charge for you but you were so traumatized as a child or you're so angry or you're so effed up that you do it not as even a sexual release but just to have a victim to feel in charge or whatever, that's probably going to diminish too minus testosterone.

33:18 Drew I mean, the whole violence thing is going to do.

33:20 Adam Testosterone is really the root of all evil, is it? Is it not?

33:24 Drew You know what? In my practice, it can sometimes be the root of it. I mean, certainly if you're talking about some of the things that I hear about, you know, whether it's inappropriate hair growth in women, right? Whether it's inappropriate hair growth, whether it's acne, whether it's, you know, there's a lot of things that are testosterone-spat, but for both men and women, testosterone is very important for libido. Clearly, both for men and women, women make some testosterone. It's an important part of being sexually active and wanting to have sex.

33:48 Adam What if? Tell me if this would work. What if I slipped some testosterone into the wine cooler of some chick I was trying to pick up at a bar and she drank it. Two hours later, do you think she would have a charged libido? You know what? Just don't answer. Just go get it. Just go out to the van. Yeah. Okay. That's yes?

34:14 Drew You know what you can do? You know all those female bodybuilders that just don't look like females anymore?

34:19 Adam Yes.

34:20 Drew You know?

34:22 Adam I like them because it's like...

34:23 Drew You can ask them what things are like.

34:27 Adam Oh, they have clitoral megula.

34:29 That's actually true.

34:31 Drew That's pretty good, Adam.

34:32 Adam Yeah.

34:33 Drew I see some of Drew is definitely rubbing off on you.

34:34 Adam Yeah. His mega clitoris rubbed on me. Is that what you're talking about? Here's my point. So really seriously, if you started spiking your wife's punch with testosterone, you would probably see her sex drive go up.

34:53 Drew You would also see her gain about 50... Depending on how much you're putting in, you're also going to see a whole bunch of stuff like...

34:59 Adam Yeah. Hey, little hair around the areola.

35:02 Drew Exactly. Now you're... Are you going to be able to meet her halfway there is the question. At what point does it become...

35:07 Adam But I just want to know technically, it would... her sex drive would probably go up.

35:11 Drew You could probably say that.

35:13 Adam And then my question, my immediate question, how about later that night? How about...

35:17 Drew Probably doesn't work quite that fast. Not that fast. We use injectable testosterone and we know, let's say in postmenopausal women who make, let's say zero after the menopause, when they're ovaries stop working, that's where most of testosterone comes from in women. And we replace testosterone, generally speaking, we see levels increase significantly after an injection within 12 to 24 hours. So you do get some significant output fairly quickly.

35:39 Adam Fine.

35:40 Drew Does that answer your question?

35:41 Adam I don't know. Can that syringe be put into like a graduating ring, like a class ring, you know? So if I like slapped them on the back, said, great to see you. And they're like, oh, what was that? I was like, I was a mosquito on your shoulder.

35:54 Drew You're a tricky one.

35:55 Adam Just work on it. We'll both get rich. Robert?

36:00 Yeah.

36:01 Adam You're 27?

36:02 Caller Yes, I am.

36:03 Adam What's up?

36:04 Caller Well, my wife's got PCOS, polycystic ovary. And what I'm wondering is right now, we're just now starting to try to have kids and we've done it for a year and we're not getting anywhere by ourselves. I'm wondering how difficult this could be for us to conceive.

36:21 Drew Definitely increases the infertility issues that you guys have to think about. Now, let me just ask you just a couple of quick questions. How often does she get periods?

36:30 Caller Right now, she's cycling about once every three months.

36:33 Drew Yeah. And that's part of the problem there, Robert, is if you're stepping up to the plate less times, it's going to be harder to get pregnant. So she's ovulating, let's say, once every three months. It's very hard to know when that once is going to be. So it becomes immediately, just by numbers, a little bit more of a difficult process.

36:53 Adam So instead of 12 opportunities a year, you have four opportunities.

36:56 Drew That's right. And so if a normal couple will take, let's say, six to nine months to get pregnant because they get six to nine times to step up to the plate, it's going to take you a lot longer. So that's one thing. The second thing is there's very good evidence that people with polycystic ovarian syndrome actually also have an increased risk of miscarriages. So even if you get through, you have an increased risk of miscarrying that one pregnancy that you were able to conceive. So it's kind of a double-sided bad coin. Okay. It's hard to get pregnant. And even when you get pregnant, it's hard to keep the pregnancy. Now, as far as, should I give some general information on polycystic ovarian syndrome? So polycystic ovarian syndrome is a multifactorial problem for about, we think about five to seven percent of women in the United States may have this.

37:45 Adam So almost half.

37:46 Drew A significant amount of women have this. This is not an unheard of syndrome where generally speaking, women have never really quite have regular periods. Their ovaries seem to make too many androgens or some of the testosterone type hormones. They do not cycle, as I mentioned, very regularly. And there are basically some problems associated with that. Pregnancy is one. Increasing their risk for, let me just finish this up. Increasing their risk not only for infertility but also for problems like diabetes. They tend to be heavier. They tend to have inappropriate hair growth because of the testosterone which we talked about. They tend to have an increased risk of having cholesterol abnormalities and hypertension. These ladies have an increased risk of uterine cancer. In other words, all these things kind of come together. But where she's at with Robert, it's mostly infertility issues that come up first.

38:38 Adam Right.

38:38 Drew And just later on the beard and later on there's some other issues.

38:43 Adam Well, maybe we should just put her down. It sounds like we ought to just go ahead and put her down.

38:46 Drew Robert doesn't want to put her down.

38:47 Adam Well, I think it's the humane thing to do. Search your heart, Robert. I think you know I'm right. So what should she do? And let me let me ask you this real quick. Like it what percentage like in nature, what percentage of women just weren't really born to conceive? You know, I mean, did you believe that, you know, 10% or 5% of women just weren't supposed to? Does nature want a small percentage of women just not to have kids?

39:17 Drew I can tell you that we believe that statistically speaking, we always talk about about 15% of couples using unprotected intercourse over the course of a year, right, will not get pregnant. So you're talking about 15% of couple. We know that female-

39:32 Adam You're talking about white couples. Mexican, you're way down, unless you're 0.0003.

39:39 Caller I don't know where you're getting your statistics.

39:40 Adam Way down, way. Well, look at the data.

39:43 Drew Okay.

39:43 Adam Yeah.

39:44 Drew Then if you think, generally speaking, if about two-thirds of infertility is coming, let's say, from a woman because of either blocked fallopian tubes or an ability, let's say, in this situation, polycystic ovarian or other problems that would lead to infertility. It's about, let's say, about 70 percent, about two-thirds of women. So you can come up with your own percent. Is it 10 percent of women? Is it 5 percent of women that just can't conceive? It's a significant amount.

40:11 Adam Yeah. All right. Then through science, we can get that down to 1 percent.

40:17 Drew We can get that down pretty darn low if you're willing to go to in vitro fertilization. If we can stimulate an egg, retrieve it, mix it with sperm, and then plant it back into her, if we start young enough, we can get almost everybody pregnant.

40:31 Adam Because I'd like to conceive soon. Hey, Robert. Yeah. It sounds like you're going to have to go to a specialist and start getting underway with this.

40:40 Drew Actually, Robert, let me just mention, I'm sure your wife just to have that diagnosis in her mind, just because she knows what she has. I assume she's been going to a gynecologist or somebody who's told her, this is what's going on with you. For people with this diagnosis, there are definitely some medications that you can consider talking to either a gynecologist or an infertility specialist about, Clomid, Glucophage. There's a lot of things that are happening right now in this field that will allow her not only to get pregnant easier, but also to keep a pregnancy.

41:09 Adam All right. We need to take a break. He's calling from Idaho, so he's probably getting up to see someone who works with bovine animals. I don't know if they have to have any kind of colleges, OBGYNs over there, but I don't know what's so different between a man and a cow or by a yak or a sheep or something like that. I mean, it's all just parts. I'm just saying, you get a good veterinarian and he's gonna be able to, he'll know his way around. Okay, it might take him a while to get Aquaman. All right. Well, Dr. Ben is here tonight. This kid is a whiz with the vagina. We'll take ourselves a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Hey, everybody. It's Loveline, madam. That's Dr. Ben. Hey, Dr. Ben knows his beeswax. He knows his vag wax. Yeah. None of your beeswax. Dr. Ben is board certified and all that good stuff, but he's no bee. Who knows what goes on in the old vagina, the old vagina, the old vagina.

42:40 Drew It sounds like Homer Simpson.

42:41 Adam Thank you. Dr. Ben is filming for Dr. Drew tomorrow night. Foo Fighters in studio.

42:50 Drew Oh, why couldn't I be here tomorrow?

42:52 Adam Because you're not good enough. Oh, yeah.

42:55 Drew Now you tell me.

42:55 Adam We have to have talented people.

42:57 Drew I should have been sick today.

42:58 Adam They're very popular. Band with the kids and we didn't want to embarrass them by having you in here. We brought bringing pro in tomorrow night, Dr. Marcel. Oh, the plastic guy, plastic surgeon. Yeah.

43:11 Drew Oh my God.

43:11 Adam Spray on tan pinky rank class act. Class act. Now Marcel is very good at what he does. And tomorrow night, Marcel and and Ben are both experts. Drew is, you know, he's he's he's a sort of Jack of all trades.

43:30 Drew He's amazing. He's amazing.

43:32 Adam Master of none. Master of none.

43:34 Drew He's he's pretty darn good.

43:35 Adam Ben knows his his OBGYN. I crossed out a couple of times. Oh, that's oh, that's Bruce. Yeah. Oh, is it Bruce or Drew? Anyway, I know too many doctors now. I made it I made it from zero to like thirty five without even actually seeing a doctor. And now it's all I know. It's raining doctors. Yeah. Well, all right. So the deal is, you know, I hate doctors. What's his name? Anderson, please. I just leave. You can finish the show for me. Doctor, I think Marcel is coming in tomorrow night. And so line up your plastic surgery questions for tomorrow. Just like tonight, we'll have our OBGYN questions. All right. You don't care who we talk to. Let's talk to Christy because she has a hot sounding name. Christy.

44:23 Caller Hi.

44:23 Adam You're 19.

44:25 Caller Yes, I am.

44:25 Adam What's up?

44:27 Caller Hi. I had a question. I am about six months pregnant and it's getting more uncomfortable for my boyfriend and I to have sex because now I have a stomach. And I was wondering what would be the most comfortable position and the most safest for the baby.

44:41 Drew Okay. Great question. A lot of people, Christy, believe it or not, are like, and I get this from the husbands who are totally freaked out by their wife being pregnant and won't go near her. Like, it's really weird. Like, as soon as the wife starts showing, they just get this phobia and are like, I can't do it. It'll hurt the baby. It'll hurt her. And they get totally freaked out. It's the first time that instead of, let's say, maybe sexualizing their wife, they're starting to think of her as a mother. I mean, like a lot of stuff goes on that I hear about. And just the bottom line, Christy, first of all, it's totally safe, I would say, for 95% of women who are pregnant to have intercourse at any stage in pregnancy. So, I mean, you can hopefully give them some reassurance that that's not an issue. As far as the most common positions that people talk about would be, let's say, more of like a doggy style position, or with him sitting and you controlling most of the movements up and down so he could be, let's say, in a chair, on the bed, and you get on top of him with your back facing his stomach. That kind of a thing would tend to be, you know, they're all safe, but would tend to basically allow you guys to be together with the leastest comfort possible.

45:51 Adam Yeah, so she should sort of control the metronome.

45:55 Drew Yeah, that's generally speaking what we prefer is if you're doing the movements.

45:59 Adam Yeah.

45:59 Drew And he's there.

46:00 Adam Dr. Ben says we means him and his penis. He's not talking about other gynecologists. Yeah.

46:06 Drew And congratulations.

46:06 Adam Yeah, congratulations. And let's make it the last kid for a little while, huh? You're 19. Thank you. Come on now. And now you're married. Everything's working out there.

46:17 Caller We're getting married, hopefully, within the next year.

46:20 Adam Okay. And what's your husband do?

46:22 Caller My husband, he works at a yellow freight in Tracy.

46:27 Adam Uh-huh.

46:27 Caller If you know what that is.

46:29 Adam Yellow freight. It delivers. That's a delivery company, right?

46:34 Caller It's a trucking company, freight.

46:35 Adam Right. All right. So it's life in the fast lane. Kids going to finishing school in Zurich. Fantastic, Christy. Thank you. All right. God bless.

46:45 Drew Good luck.

46:46 Adam Yeah. All right. Who, uh, let's see. Treated for ATI. Thoughts on selling birth control over the pill.

46:53 Drew We can do that.

46:53 Adam We got to take a break, unfortunately, you know, because what I do is I run long on all the breaks and I get up against the top of the hour and I screw everything up. Let me say this. I think I got to do this business one more time.

47:05 Drew Okay.

47:05 Adam You know, that's how radio is. All about repetition. Know what I'm saying?

47:11 Drew Tell them once, tell them again, and summarize. How does that go?

47:14 Adam Well, here's how radio works. People don't have that much to say, so you got to give out the time, the traffic and the weather all the time.

47:20 Caller Just to do that all the time.

47:24 Adam That's how radio works. One lucky person tonight is going to win a Durex Party Pack. You get some CDs, you get a poker set, you get some money or monies as my black friends say. You also get some Durex condoms, and I'm going to decide who the best call is in the night, and I'm going to award them this package. Winner must be 18 years or older, and it's brought to you by Durex. There's sex, then there's Durex. Dr. Ben's sitting in for Dr. Drew, doing a more than adequate job, and we'll be back right after this. Hey everybody, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Ben. Dr. Ben, filling in for Dr. Drew, and then some, you know what I mean? It's like if Dr. Drew was an eight-ounce cup, Dr. Ben's a good 12-ounce soda. Can't fit in there.

48:53 Drew 12 ounces.

48:54 Adam Too much. You got to take a swig.

48:56 Drew Thank you.

48:57 Adam Yeah.

48:57 Drew Wow.

48:58 Adam He's a pro, this Dr. Ben. Total pro. Knows what he's talking about. I think Dr. Marcel is going to fill in tomorrow night for Dr. Drew. Marcel is of course a plastic surgeon. He's been on the show many times and has as many answers about plastic surgery as Dr. Ben does about gynecology. So line those questions up for tomorrow night and tonight line up the gynecological stuff and Foo Fighters in tomorrow night. So we got that to look forward to. You want to speak to Lisa?

49:31 Drew Love to.

49:32 Adam And then there was, oh, what happened? Was there a birth control pill? Yeah, I want to talk to, talk to Eric who's 24.

49:39 Caller Eric? Hey Adam, Dr. Ben, thank you so much for taking my call.

49:43 Adam Thanks for calling.

49:44 Caller Yeah, boy, I love Derek's condoms.

49:47 Adam Anyway, let me take my call. Wow, hey.

49:48 Yeah, I really do.

49:51 Caller I have a couple of quick questions. One, in a local paper today, there's an Oakland, California based group that's talking about trying to get all normal birth control pills available over the counter via pharmacists. And I was wondering what Dr. Ven thought about that.

50:06 Drew Well, as you know, in our state, Eric, you're calling from San Francisco, in our state, it's already being done with emergency contraception, right? So you know, you can go to a pharmacy, you can say, I've had unprotected in a course sometime in the last five days and my last menstrual period was X and the pharmacist will just basically give you emergency contraception. The difference between emergency, as far as the hormones are concerned.

50:29 Adam It only took ten years to get it through those meatheads, fat cabezas, by the way, idiots. Go ahead.

50:36 Drew Okay.

50:37 Adam I can't stand all these idiots setting policy, these sort of half-tards setting policy.

50:43 Drew Yeah. So, well, anyway, the difference between, let's say, emergency contraception, which is already being dispensed by pharmacists in California and I think five other states, is already being done. The next jump would be to getting birth control pills in a similar fashion. And to be honest with you, I really, for the vast majority of patients, I don't think there's going to be a problem with that. It's already being done in other countries, by the way.

51:07 Adam Of course.

51:08 Drew So, why not?

51:09 Adam We're always way behind in these things. Here's the question. Thanks, Eric. I don't understand how this works in terms of, you know, what you need a prescription for and what you don't need a prescription for. It drives me insane. It's like, you have to go get a prescription to get crab shampoo.

51:27 Drew That's true.

51:28 Adam Yeah. But here's the deal. I can go down to the gas station and buy five gallons of gas and just put it in a gas can. Then I can go across the street to the big five and buy a crossbow. Then I can go across the street and buy a fifth of mescal tequila. What's the deal with the crab shampoo? Are kids drinking this? Give me a worst case, thank you, to money thing. Give me a worst case scenario for putting crab shampoo on the shelf. And it's the same with like this cortisone cream and stuff like that.

51:59 Caller No, you can buy the stuff that's zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, point actually has no cortisone.

52:06 Adam You actually owe cortisone. You rub it on, you owe cortisone. It leaches cortisone out of your body. That you can buy, but if you want the stuff that works, now that, no, you gotta, no, you gotta talk to, what's going on?

52:19 Drew All I can tell you is, is that first of all, and any, almost any, even Tylenol, okay? You can get Tylenol over the counter.

52:26 Adam Yes.

52:27 Drew Okay. Tylenol, if you look through the physician desk reference and hear about all the horrible, horrible things that you can get, it's a good way to kill yourself with that. Then, you know, you think twice, aspirin, gastrointestinal bleeding. I mean, people take way too much aspirin sometimes, and we end, they end up almost killing themselves. I mean, you know what?

52:45 Adam Right.

52:46 Drew There's almost nothing that's like zero side effects.

52:49 Adam Except for crab shampoo, actually, ironically.

52:53 Drew So, I can see that, you know, there's some threshold, and I don't know what that threshold is, where somebody decides up there in the FDA or wherever people make these decisions, that, you know, this far, no further, and then they go with that. I mean, Clarit, a perfect example, something like Claritin. You know, 10 years ago, not over the counter. Same exact dose, we had to give a prescription. Now, over the counter. Zantac couldn't be purchased over the counter, you know, 10 years ago. Now, we can buy Zantac over the counter. So, you know, I assume that at some point we may get to birth control pills. Okay, you know what? Last 50 years, all of them needed prescriptions. Now, no prescription. We can go to a pharmacist, ask for birth control pills, they give it to us.

53:32 Adam What would be the potential danger in having them over the counter?

53:36 Drew Well, I mean, you know, again, maybe I can't talk to you too much about side effects on Zantac, but I can talk to you a lot about potential side effects of birth control pills.

53:44 Adam If it's not taken properly?

53:45 Drew Well, even if they are taken properly.

53:47 Adam You have the wrong birth control pill?

53:49 Drew No, just a normal birth control pill has potential side effects. For example, it increases your risk for gallstone disease. It should definitely not be taken by somebody who's got a potential estrogen-sensitive tumor, like breast cancer, for example.

54:03 Adam So they would want you to consult with a doctor to make sure you didn't have these things before you took them.

54:08 Drew At this point, that's absolutely true. I mean, they're associated with clots in the legs that could potentially go up into your lungs and kill you. But all these things are fairly rare side effects of being on a pill, potential dangers of being on the pill. So one could certainly conceive, you shouldn't have hypertension, smoking is a relative contraindication, you shouldn't be pregnant when taking... I mean, there are certain things that you need to go down a list and check off before you feel completely comfortable. But pharmacists are already getting into this thing of going down a list, checking things off and saying, you know what, you're a pretty good candidate for this.

54:42 Adam Have you attempted to communicate with any of the pharmacists in the Los Angeles area?

54:46 Drew I have to all the time. I call in prescriptions.

54:48 Adam Do you have any idea what the F any of them are saying? Yeah, like some clarity. I have trouble sleeping at night. I just want some ambience. I don't know what you did. You seem angry. I don't know what you're... Could you write down what you're saying? There's someone else I could talk to.

55:18 Caller Yes.

55:19 Adam Hi, sir. No one speaks any English in this whole goddamn town, by the way. And all you a-holes are thinking of moving to Los Angeles, be prepared to not have your native tongue work in this town. You don't get to communicate with people. There's a good 70% of the people you speak to in this town don't speak a goddamn lick of English. And pharmacists, I don't even know where they're from. At least I can figure out the rest of them are probably speaking some form of broken Spanish. The pharmacists, I have no idea what part of the world these people are from. It has like a Kazakhstan, it has like a Stan or a Stack on the end of it. You know the white guy in the NBA, it's where he's from. Just crazy war-torn used to be part of the Soviet Union. That's all I can figure. I have no idea what these people are talking about. I don't think anyone does. Yeah, I couldn't imagine talking on the phone with them. You can't communicate in person with them. At least in person, I can use my hands. You know what I mean? Where I start doing this thing where it's like sleepy, sleepy. I do a whole little Z's over my head or I go crabs, you know, and I point to my groin and the guy, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he knows what I'm talking about over the phone. I couldn't even imagine what that would sound like.

56:39 Drew Do you remember? I mean, if you're into do you remember Blade Runner? Yes, remember that was Los Angeles in like 2030. I don't even know. But in Los Angeles, according to Blade Runner, at some point, like Spanish and I think it was wasn't a Chinese and English all got mashed together into one crazy language.

56:57 Adam The pharmacists are where we're heading. The pharmacists are pioneers in this bastardization of the language. They've taken Chinese, American. I would say they have the Spanish, the Chinese and the English right, but they have to sprinkle in a little something from the Soviet Union. And there you have it. I have no idea what these people are talking about. They have no idea what I'm talking about. It's fantastic. All they do is disperse drugs.

57:23 Caller It's awesome.

57:25 Adam You know, it's one thing like in Los Angeles. It's one thing where the guy behind the seven inches of loose sight over at the 76 station has no idea what you're saying. At least with that, you just get the Snickers bar instead of the baby Ruth. But this guy, who knows, I've probably been on birth control for the last eight years.

57:43 Drew That would explain your breasts.

57:44 Adam That's right. I'm lactator. I've got a hot flash going. Poor, poor Dr. Ben has to talk to these people over the phone. I couldn't even imagine how that would work. What is that? There's nothing with all the schooling, there's no English?

58:01 Drew No, it's good because we speak medicalese. So in a way, I can see why you may not completely get through. I can get through because we don't really talk English anyway.

58:10 Adam Right, right.

58:13 Drew We don't communicate that way.

58:14 Adam Right, right. Because the low overall is that in all languages?

58:23 Drew You know what? In this country, yeah, you would have to just go with that and they would know what you're talking about.

58:27 Adam Well, that's awesome. And like I said, I give these people a hard time, but if I bring in like a dry erase board, I can usually communicate as well. So I draw a picture myself with Xs where the eyes are. I would like to go to sleep. Could we get something going?

58:42 Drew Good one. All right.

58:43 Adam Where are we?

58:44 Drew Who do you want to talk to? This, this or this? How's that? Your players choice. Should I just be more directed?

58:49 Adam No, you're good. Leslie?

58:51 Drew Just giving you options.

58:52 Yes.

58:52 Adam You're 20?

58:53 Caller Yes.

58:54 Adam What's up?

58:55 Caller Okay. I just had a medical question. I keep getting urinary tract infections, UTIs, every time I have sex. Now I'm just wondering if that's like a medical thing going on or if that's just like...

59:09 Drew It's actually very common, Leslie. There's actually a name for what she's got going on. You know what it's called? I'll give you a good one to use later. All right.

59:17 Adam I'm going to give it to her.

59:17 Drew On The Plastic Surgeon tomorrow, you can say, hey, do you know about this?

59:20 Adam Honeymoon cystitis.

59:21 Drew That's exactly it. It's called honeymoon cystitis.

59:24 Adam Thank you.

59:24 Drew Adam, you're... Something's rubbing off on you. Do you want to take my calls tonight? I'm going to sleep. Take my pager.

59:30 Adam All right. Please.

59:31 Drew Okay. So here's the honeymoon cystitis deal is that women are, as you can imagine, from in many ways are built very different than men. The one particular way that it's important for this issue is that your urethra, where the tube that leads from your bladder is actually so much shorter than a man's, that it's very easy to have bacteria pushed up into the urethra and into the bladder. For men, it's almost impossible. That has to go a very long way. In fact, when men get bladder infections, we're generally talking about men that get catheterized. I mean, something physically gets pushed up into them that seeds bacteria into their bladder. Whereas for women, it's intercourse.

1:00:08 Adam Is there also, or is there any difference between sort of receiving and giving when it comes to men and women, that women sort of receive and men sort of give in terms of pushing something up something? It's got a longer way to travel as well.

1:00:22 Drew So basically, that's kind of what's happening. It's more of a mechanical issue where things get pushed up through a fairly short distance into the bladder.

1:00:30 Adam What is the distance between, approximately, between, and none of that metric crap?

1:00:38 Drew Right.

1:00:38 Adam Because I'm American, you understand me, brother?

1:00:40 Drew Yeah.

1:00:41 Adam What is the difference between, the length between the bladder and where, let's say, the base of the penis? You know, the penis is six inches long. It's got to travel that six inches. And then how far from there to the bladder?

1:00:55 Drew It's only a couple of inches.

1:00:56 Adam So for women, it's just a couple of inches.

1:00:58 Drew That's right. That's the couple of inches that the women have to deal with. Now, a couple of things that you can do just, just to mechanically try to work on this issue, Leslie, is as soon as you are done with intercourse, get up and go to the bathroom and pee. So that's like one thing that you can do.

1:01:12 Caller But it doesn't seem to help, but actually it kind of made it worse.

1:01:15 Drew Okay, now let me tell you what else you can do, and we do this all the time, and you can talk to your doctor about this. For some women, unfortunately, so you don't get into this cycle of like, you know, constantly treating yourself for bladder infections, is that you not only do that, but in the bathroom or with you, you also have one, we call this prophylactic antibiotic dose, that you're just, instead of buying on, let's say antibiotics for seven days after a bladder, or trying to take care of a bladder infection, you would take one tablet prophylactically right after intercourse and pee, and then you go to bed and you're done. And that will overwhelmingly kind of prevent it from ever getting a full time.

1:01:52 Adam Prophylactically means stop it before it starts. Don't treat it after it begins.

1:01:57 Drew Yeah.

1:01:58 Adam Okay.

1:01:58 Drew So that would be another thing that Lesley could consider. And you know, I do this all the time. You could get somebody like 20 pills or 30 pills, plenty of refills. They always have one around, almost like birth control pills. I mean, they just have it around and they're using it every time they have sex.

1:02:11 Adam And that never lets it take hold.

1:02:12 Drew That's correct.

1:02:13 Adam All right. Also, you can do what I do, which is urinate during the intercourse. Okay. Because I play it safe. I play it safe. Because I don't have such a long way to travel up the urethra, if you know what I'm saying. You know what I'm saying? All right, Lesley. All right. All right. Good luck to you. Yeah. All right. Let's talk to Jennifer on line six. Jennifer.

1:02:38 Oh, hi.

1:02:38 Adam Twenty one. What's up, baby doll?

1:02:41 Um, I have lived with my boyfriend for a year now, and he's been out of town on an internship for about a month. And I wanted to purchase a dildo and I've never had a dildo before. And I was wondering if it was offensive to buy one that was bigger than he is.

1:03:02 Drew This is almost a philosophical question.

1:03:05 Adam Yeah.

1:03:05 Drew Adam, what's your philosophy?

1:03:07 Adam Well, first off, other than your home, a dildo is your biggest purchase. And so it's going to take some serious, at least some of my parents used to tell. I remember, I remember my dad would always say that.

1:03:19 Drew To you.

1:03:19 Adam Yeah, I'd say, you know, second to your home, you know, your most people's biggest. And it's a commitment. So yeah, it's definitely a commitment. This is a relationship. It's, you know, it's it's it will become a child of yours. You'll have to name it and keep it in a VALVIC Crown Royal Sack. And so you want to think long. You want to do some soul searching before you actually pull that wallet out at the dildo barn. Which is OK. I think the national chain. So here's the thing. You want to get a vibrator or dildo because there's a difference.

1:03:57 Caller Well, I'm not really sure. OK. It's my first time.

1:04:02 Adam I should work at a porn store.

1:04:04 Drew You sounded like some kind of dildo salesman there for a second.

1:04:06 Adam Are you looking to get into a new or previously owned dildo? OK. Let me. This is, you know, we well, this is the Badger series.

1:04:16 Drew The Badger series.

1:04:18 Adam You you're looking for one. No, well, it's it's this one's made in the USA. It's actually a subsidiary of John Deere actually makes this one. So it's quality shop one over there. This is a hand crank system on this thing. But it also runs off 110. Yeah, I could see myself working.

1:04:39 Drew I can see you doing that.

1:04:40 Adam Yeah. And then I could do that thing, too, that where they were like, well, how many times does this vibrate per minute? Let me check on that.

1:04:48 Drew It's Pepe.

1:04:49 Adam It's Pepe. I'll tell you what, it's Pepe. Let me check on that. That's my fantasy to have a job where I get to check on things all day. Hold on. Let me check on that. Warranty on the DILDA? Let me check on that.

1:05:01 Drew You'd be so good in customer service.

1:05:03 Adam Oh, I'd be awesome.

1:05:03 Drew I could see it all over you.

1:05:05 Adam Awesome.

1:05:05 Drew You're the man.

1:05:06 Adam Yeah. No credit, come on down. Bad credit, come on down. Foreclosures, come on down. Bring your old DILDA. We'll take it as a trade-in. Come on down. It's dealing days. Summer is heating up. Come on down. We didn't get to be number one by not putting people in DILDAs or DILDAs in people.

1:05:23 Drew You could come up with like car chargers like they do at the phone stores. You can give away car chargers.

1:05:28 Adam Yeah, runs off the AC adapter. It's great. You long haul trucker?

1:05:32 Drew Think of the possibilities.

1:05:34 Adam Or just a soccer mom. Either way. Fantastic. All right, so Jennifer. Yeah. Yeah, you're looking for...

1:05:43 Drew Are we helping you?

1:05:44 Adam What are we doing here?

1:05:44 Drew I don't know.

1:05:46 Adam You're looking for vibrator.

1:05:47 Caller If it's offensive, I'm not concerned about whether I want a vibrator, a dildo. I can figure that out when I get there, but I'm...

1:05:54 Adam Well, let me tell you something. You better have a decent idea what you want before you confront that 700-pound methadone addict behind the counter at the vibrator shop. Believe you me, he's not going to steer you anywhere but into his van in the alley. So you better listen to me.

1:06:13 Caller Okay.

1:06:14 Adam Well, I've dealt with these people before. Here's...

1:06:17 Caller Here's the deal.

1:06:18 Adam There are always fat guys in vests. By the way, the only way to look fatter is to put a vest on. A small vest on so your arms sort of hang over the side. Don't wear vests if you're fat. If you're working for Caltrans, you need the reflective ones part of your job. That's one thing. But just on your own, leave the vest at home. So, Jennifer, you want to get yourself a vibrator, okay? And the thing that's going to be least offensive to your man is a sort of compact, streamlined vibrator. It'll be best for you because it will find its target. It's like a smart bomb. And you will not have this big, ugly, offensive-looking, veiny facsimile of Ron Jeremy between the mattress and box spring. Okay. All right. So just get a little streamlined thing. It's almost dainty. And it'll be better. So it's win-win. Your boyfriend doesn't come back from his pilgrimage and find something big. And you get more satisfaction out of it.

1:07:16 Caller Does it make it more intimidating if I get one with one of those clitoral stimulation extensions?

1:07:24 Adam No. That's fine. Go with that. Yeah. I could put you in a 2003. But I have to check with my supervisor. Let me check on that. And we go ahead and get the Z-Bart rust protection on that as well. That's five years, 50,000 mile, whole undercarriage, rust protection. You're calling from where? Seattle. You get a lot of rain. You get a lot of rain out in Seattle. So I would recommend. I did it on my own dildo. I did that. I recommend that to all my customers. You know what? I'm throwing some C cells in the AC adapter with that too. Okay. And I'll tell you what, we'll tell you what, don't take it with you. Let me have the boys put a coat of carnauba wax on it. You come pick it up tomorrow. It'll look great.

1:08:14 Drew Why do I get a feeling, Adam, that Jennifer just won the Durex condom award for that question? Because you know what?

1:08:20 Adam Oh, wait.

1:08:21 Drew So much material.

1:08:22 Adam So much. Right. She did nothing, but yet she fed me.

1:08:26 Drew Could be. Could be the one.

1:08:27 Adam She was my dildo muse.

1:08:30 Drew Could be it. Remember Jennifer. Stay on the line.

1:08:33 Adam Jennifer on the hole.

1:08:34 Drew Yeah, she could be a big candidate.

1:08:36 Adam Plus she could try that Durex condom over her new vibrator. All right. Let me check on that. Put her on hold and actually I did put her on hold, but keep her on hold and let's give her the Durex party pack.

1:08:50 Drew We come to a decision. It's not the end of the show.

1:08:52 Adam I give it to her.

1:08:52 Drew Okay.

1:08:53 Adam You called it. I'll forget otherwise. Let's take ourselves a little break. Dr. Ben is filling in quite nicely. Thank you for Dr. Drew and we'll be right back after this.

1:09:09 Caller Loveline will be right back, so get your problems ready. Ready.

1:09:13 Adam Want to dress up your sex life? Visit durex.com.

1:09:18 Caller The one and only Live 105.

1:09:35 Adam There, buddy. Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Ben. Dr. Ben filling in for Dr. Drew and doing a great job. Dr. Ben is an O-G-B-Y-N, or G-Y-N, I should say.

1:09:47 Where's Dr. Drew?

1:09:49 Adam Dr. Drew is-

1:09:50 Drew I'm a 12-ouncer. Don't mess with me.

1:09:53 Adam Oh, really?

1:09:53 Drew Yeah, you said 12 ounces.

1:09:55 Adam Oh, yeah. Drew's an eight-ounce cup, and he got 12 ounces worth of soda to put in it. That is Dr. Ben. Expert. See, Dr. Drew is in a good place because he's on Loveline and nobody really has any education or any brains, calls the show. They can never call him on anything.

1:10:14 Drew He does a great job.

1:10:15 Adam He does a great job.

1:10:16 Drew He does a great job.

1:10:16 Adam He's a great man. He's with his daughter and wife, and they're going out ice skating, and they're on some kind of tour, and they're going to New York, and they're in Vermont, and they're making and being. And I'm, of course, over here because I care. You know what I mean? Because you kids, you're my children, and every call's important to me.

1:10:38 Caller But why don't you go to no play, player?

1:10:40 Adam All right. The point is I stay because I care. Drew, he cares about ice skating and the almighty dollar. That's all he cares about. That's right. All right, so who do you want to talk to? Let's see.

1:10:54 Drew I'll talk to anybody except one.

1:10:56 Adam Anyone except for line one.

1:10:57 Drew It's player's choice.

1:10:59 Adam Found underground porn in boyfriend's drawer. All right, let's talk to Jenny. Jenny?

1:11:05 Caller Adam Corolla.

1:11:08 Adam Yeah, I want to get the, well, Ben, you know summer's heating up, right?

1:11:12 Drew It is heating up.

1:11:13 Caller Do you have a swimming pool?

1:11:14 Adam Definitely. Oh, you do?

1:11:15 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:11:15 Adam That's nice.

1:11:16 Drew Love that pool.

1:11:17 Adam I want to get the game Marco Polo, the pool game Marco Polo, changed to Adam Corolla.

1:11:25 Drew So, that explains this whole interchange.

1:11:26 Adam That's how this works. If you could start playing it at your home, I'd appreciate it.

1:11:30 Drew I'll think about it.

1:11:31 Adam Make a note, if you would.

1:11:32 Drew I just wrote it down, thank you.

1:11:33 Adam Thank you. Jenny?

1:11:34 Oh, yeah.

1:11:35 Caller I'm telling you that.

1:11:36 That game works.

1:11:37 Adam It works. It absolutely does. And Marco Polo, the guy's been dead for 900 years. He's yesterday's news.

1:11:44 Drew Time for a change.

1:11:44 Adam Time for a change. There's a new sheriff. Here's what I like to say. I like to say this. There's a new sheriff in town, and his name isn't Marco Polo. And then I laugh. Thank you, baby. What's up, sweetie pea?

1:12:00 Caller Okay. So my loved one, who I've been with for four years, had just moved into his place, and he's out of town about two weeks of the month. And I, you know, I'm down with masturbating. I'm down with a little porn.

1:12:13 Adam Why is he out of town so much? His work?

1:12:15 Caller He's an environmental consultant.

1:12:17 Adam Uh-huh.

1:12:17 Caller Yeah. He basically just doesn't do much. He collects paycheck and, I don't know.

1:12:22 Adam That's good.

1:12:22 Caller I really don't really know what he does.

1:12:24 Adam What does he do? What does it environmental?

1:12:26 Caller For example, like water wells, like at gas stations, and you know, in college, and that kind of thing.

1:12:32 Adam See if there's things leeching into the environment.

1:12:34 Caller Yeah, exactly.

1:12:35 Adam All right. All right.

1:12:36 Caller So I know I bring up, hey, you want to run a movie, or you want to buy a movie, like a porn movie, you know, nothing crazy, just a little something, or, you know, get something off dish or whatever. And he gets completely repulsive, disgusted with me. And he's like, that's disgusting, that's wrong. It's not Christian crap. And, you know, he just kind of goes in, and then he gets disgusted with me. It won't even touch me for like a week.

1:13:01 Caller Okay.

1:13:02 Caller And then, lo and behold, I'm putting away clothes and plus I'm snooping. I find a magazine in his bottom drawer, and it's not just porn. I have a special name for it. I don't know where it came up with it, but I'm calling it Soup Kitchen Fist Effers, because it's like dirty, like homeless, hairy, snatchy chicks effing each other with their feet and their fists.

1:13:27 Adam You're turning Ben on, so quiet, take it easy. Yeah, yeah.

1:13:31 Caller It's disgusting. And he calls tonight, and I'm feeling totally repulsed by him, hypocrite, and he's trying to talk sweet to me, and I'm just thinking.

1:13:42 Adam All right, all right, all right. First off, you two have been together for four years.

1:13:46 Caller Yeah.

1:13:48 Adam Sounds like, it's maybe like two and a half years too much.

1:13:51 Caller Yeah.

1:13:52 Adam Sounds like maybe you two are on the way out. You don't seem like you're a huge fan of this guy.

1:13:57 Caller Yeah, I like that he's out of town.

1:13:59 Adam Yeah, that's, he's usually a bad sign.

1:14:01 Caller Yeah, yeah.

1:14:03 Adam And, you know, it's one of these things where you're not married, right?

1:14:07 Drew It's just your boyfriend.

1:14:08 Caller Yeah, it's just my boyfriend.

1:14:09 Adam You meet at 21, you're 25 now. There's a certain thing where it's time to sort of ask or get off the pot.

1:14:16 Caller Yeah.

1:14:16 Adam And this may not be the guy you want to marry. So it's maybe time to get off the pot.

1:14:21 Caller It's funny that his grandma says to send him, time to take a dump or get out the toilet kind of thing. And his brother just got married. His sister just got married. And his views on marriage are all know when the time's right, financially stable, all of those really. And he says he doesn't know who I am.

1:14:38 Caller Like he doesn't know me really.

1:14:40 Caller And living together will help us get to that point. He's a guy having like disgusting, hairy, like homeless porn in his drawer. And you know, I don't know, I'm kind of creeped out about it. I don't know how to feel about it.

1:14:52 Adam All right. Well, quiet down.

1:14:54 Caller Sorry.

1:14:54 Adam Is there something wrong with you? Is there anything we need to know? Any abuse? You sound a little nutty.

1:15:00 Caller No.

1:15:01 Adam A little bit.

1:15:01 Caller No.

1:15:02 Adam No? What do you do for a living?

1:15:04 Caller I'm a teacher.

1:15:06 Adam You got to bring some of that porn in to show kids what the world is really like.

1:15:10 Caller Biology. So it's all about the human anatomy.

1:15:13 Adam Yeah. And look, I agree. They say porn is a window to the soul. I believe it. They do. And-

1:15:22 Caller Like a pretty nasty-

1:15:25 Adam Yeah. Look, hold on. It doesn't make you into a pedophile or rapist or serial killer, but you show me a guy with some- And there's a point, you know, guys that like the big jug porn and guys who like a little ass play or something like that. But there's a point where you cross the line and it starts getting into, you know, amputees going at each other with bowling balls. And at that point, I judge. Like I say, the guy who's into this, something's up. Doesn't mean he's ever going to act out on anything, wrong beds, not the guy who went leading the Wee below troop into the woods. You know what I'm saying? It's important. These are indicators. They're not, doesn't mean that the person is necessarily bad or just like a doctor. Certain things you look for doesn't mean there's cancer, but you feel a lump. Maybe it should be investigated. Know what I mean?

1:16:21 Drew I'm almost there.

1:16:22 Adam You're almost there.

1:16:23 Drew Okay. It's a stretch.

1:16:25 Adam A little bit.

1:16:26 Drew Okay. I'm worried.

1:16:27 Adam Okay. This guy doesn't have to be some sort of bizarre, deviant guy, but it doesn't sound like she's that into him outside of the porn that's in the drawer.

1:16:36 Drew In a way though, Jen, you came into this guy's apartment, or I don't know, you guys are living together now. You were asking the question, is this going to work out? Maybe this is beginning to tell you that it's not going to work out. I mean, you're asking the question, you're getting some answers. Maybe this is what was supposed to happen.

1:16:52 Adam Well, that's right. And, you know, look.

1:16:54 Caller I was trying to introduce porn again since I just moved in. And kind of just, you know, setting up the bedroom just because it's been four years. And, you know, we're like an old married couple. And when I found this, I thought, oh my gosh, I can't even think of him, you know. Yeah.

1:17:12 Adam All right. So look. Okay. And part of the problem is, is he's not, you know, his libido isn't what it used to be with you. And now on top of this, I don't know. I it's very convenient and easy for me just to sit here and go put a fork in it and move forward. But it's what happens. You're supposed to have a few relationships. You're supposed to have some hits and some misses, some trials and errors. And then at a certain point, you hook up with the right person. And by the way, you know, it's the right person because you've test driven a few others. It's a good fit. You get married. You have kids. Then you get divorced. So I completely agree with that. I just think this one, I think it's been four years and four years has been enough. Maybe.

1:17:57 Drew Or maybe, you know what? She can turn it around and make it work. Maybe, you know, she'll confront him. She'll have a discussion. They'll get closer over this. I don't know. I mean, anything's possible. But she, I don't think she can ignore this. It's just maybe time to put everybody's cards on the table.

1:18:09 Adam Let's confront the guy. And when he gets back and see what he has to say. Lisa?

1:18:15 Caller Yes.

1:18:15 Adam 22. What's up?

1:18:17 Caller Oh, I have a wonderful question for you guys. I'm hoping you'll be able to answer. I am using the NuvaRing. I've been using it since I just had a baby seven months ago. So I've been using it for about maybe five months. And that's not just seven months ago, but you know, I have some issues with it, but at the same time, I really like it.

1:18:42 Adam How does that work? Is that the ring that's impregnated, pardon the pun, with the hormones?

1:18:48 Drew Actually, I think I brought one several times ago. And it looks like a bangle. It's like a bracelet, like those Livestrong. And then you can squeeze it together and it's a little thinner than the Livestrong. But it's basically, you can kind of squeeze it. It's very malleable. And then you put it in and you don't feel it. But by making contact with the vaginal walls, it slowly seeps the same hormones that you would get. Let's say if you were to take the pill orally or to put the patch on on your skin, it just gets into your bloodstream and it works just like the pill.

1:19:15 Adam So the ring doesn't do anything other than deliver the medicine.

1:19:20 Drew That's correct. It's not a barrier like a diaphragm. It's not a barrier to sperm, per se.

1:19:26 Adam Wow.

1:19:27 Drew Yeah, but it's in the vagina. So let's listen to Lisa because she says she's got some issues with it. What are some of the issues, first of all, Lisa? What do you not like about it?

1:19:35 Caller The one thing that I really have a problem with is my husband and I, well, we really get into it only have fun and it keeps falling out. Yeah.

1:19:47 Drew Very common problem. So let me give you some suggestions. First of all, hopefully after five months, you're fairly comfortable with manipulating this thing, taking it out, putting it in. It's not like it's that hard to do. What I would suggest is you take it out before intercourse, you put it back in. Generally speaking, the recommendation is no longer than an hour out. Okay. So I don't know how long you guys go at it, but you know, an hour and it's going right back in. Now, the other thing, if you really look at the pharmacokinetics, you can probably go as long as four hours without it being inside.

1:20:22 Caller The little pin input says three hours.

1:20:24 Drew That's right. So you have some time, you can take it out, and then when you're done, you can put it back in. So that's one way around that issue. Any other issues?

1:20:33 Adam Well, let me hold on. Let me just chime in overall with everything. When they say like, this can do three hours, go ahead and make it six hours. If they say this thing holds up to 600 pounds, go ahead and make it 1200 pounds. Believe me, with all the chicken ass lawyers in this godforsaken dump we're living in. If they say this is what you can do, go ahead and double or triple whatever it is. It'll be effective. It'll still work.

1:20:57 Drew But you're on to something. I mean, clearly, if you can take a three or four hour break, you've got some safety work into that. So go ahead, Lise, what else is an issue with this?

1:21:05 Caller Well, just that, after and of course, I do feel like the ring still holds on to his stuff. I rinsed it off, but the doctor said that because of the medication that's on it, it's not good to interfere with the water system because it could possibly, you know, whatever, toxicate the water system. Is it okay if I take it out and wash it off so it doesn't feel so itchy or?

1:21:38 Adam No, your doctor's probably saying that you shouldn't. First off, the water system that you're rinsing it off in ends up in the same place as when you take a crap. So don't worry about polluting that.

1:21:51 Caller Is that what he was talking about?

1:21:53 Adam No, she was misunderstanding. He was telling her that it rinses, it probably makes it less effective.

1:21:59 Drew It doesn't.

1:22:00 Adam It doesn't.

1:22:00 Caller Actually what she was saying about the water system is that-

1:22:03 Adam Oh, well, hold on, you're going to a chick doctor?

1:22:06 Caller Yeah.

1:22:06 Adam Oh, there you go, sweetie. Come on. All right, go ahead. What was she saying?

1:22:13 Drew I'm sure she's good. What was she saying?

1:22:15 Caller That when you dispose of it, not to put it back in the package it came in, so that if for some reason when they put it through the trash or what not, that it wouldn't interfere with the water system and, you know, I don't know where that's coming from.

1:22:32 Adam It's like landfill stuff. It's like medical waste.

1:22:35 Drew Maybe that's where this person is coming from. But clearly you can wash it out. Lisa, I think what you're concerned with is can you wash it off? Yes, you can wash it off and put it back in. Yes.

1:22:42 Caller Okay, that would be nice.

1:22:44 Adam All right. Yeah, do that. And well, you won't have this problem if you take it out before intercourse.

1:22:49 Drew Well, she's worried about the sperm.

1:22:51 Caller I didn't know that that would be allowed.

1:22:53 Drew That's fine. Anything else, Lisa?

1:22:55 Caller Just that I think you guys are great. And I appreciate you letting me talk to you.

1:23:00 Adam All right. Thanks, Lisa. How popular are these NuvaRings coming out?

1:23:07 Drew The biggest downer on this NuvaRing is exactly what Lisa is talking about. It gets expelled during intercourse. You really just have to take it out before having sex and remember to put it back in.

1:23:19 Caller Why don't they tell you that?

1:23:21 Drew Well, it actually mentions it in the package insert.

1:23:22 Adam But why doesn't her female doctor explain that to her?

1:23:26 Drew That's pretty, whatever. It maybe didn't come up, but that's the biggest problem. You know what the problem is? Is that you hear about patients who don't, maybe who hear it but don't actually take it in. They found it in their sheets a day later. The dog is chewing it up by the bed three hours. You hear all kinds of stories and the bottom line is, you got to preempt these things and just let patients know. Just take it out. Take it out for intercourse.

1:23:51 Adam What percentage? Yeah, it's like a retainer. Before you go ahead and spit it out on the table. Do kids wear retainers anymore?

1:23:59 Caller What happened to retainers?

1:24:01 Drew You know what? Maybe if I was about to get bar mitzvahed again, I'd remember the retainer issue.

1:24:05 Caller I don't remember.

1:24:07 Drew Do we still have retainers?

1:24:08 Adam Full chufro for retainer. That's a great look. A couple of zits on the forehead.

1:24:15 Caller Big collar.

1:24:16 Adam Awesome.

1:24:17 Drew You're reading my book.

1:24:19 Adam No, there is, look, there's nothing better than all my buddies who are bar mitzvahed. Actually, I only know one guy, Nate Wittenberg. There is nothing better than looking at a bar mitzvah from the late 70s, even early 80s, because the fashion was never worse. The 13-year-old-

1:24:44 Drew Everybody dressed like John Travolta. That Saturday Night Fever. Remember the white suits with the vests?

1:24:51 Adam I'll tell you, there's two coffee table books that I would like to put together. One of them is going to be called 70s Bar Mitzvah, and the other is going to be called 80s Florida Black Prom. Oh yeah, have you ever seen the brothers dress up for the prom? Chicks have parasols, guys with like velvet top hats and stuff like that. Crazy novelty. We'll tell you something about the blacks. They go all out for the prom. Chicks look like extras from Gone with the Wind.

1:25:26 Caller Wow.

1:25:26 Adam Crazy. Miles of taffeta. That would be the work. Guys with the cherry curl, like 1983, wearing like an orange tux.

1:25:37 Caller Awesome.

1:25:38 Adam The guys with that crazy Ju-Fro with the part in the side.

1:25:42 Caller Oh, no, you didn't.

1:25:44 Adam Full set of braces. Looking like John Travolta except for he's swimming in his own suit because he's too small to fill it up. The Torah there, the prayer shawl around him. Awesome. They both would make great coffee table books.

1:25:58 Drew Yeah. I got to burn mine, but yeah.

1:26:01 Adam For other people, bring those bar mitzvah pictures in. It's awesome stuff. All right, let's get to work on those coffee table books. That will be awesome. And we'll take a quick break. Dr. Ben filling in quite nicely for Dr. Drew. And we'll be right back after this.

1:26:20 Caller Loveline will be right back.

1:26:25 Caller The one and only Live 105.

1:26:42 Adam Yeah, everybody, it's Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Ben. Dr. Ben filling in for Dr. Drew. Tomorrow night, Dr. Marcel, the plastic surgeon and the Foo Fighters going to be on the show. All right. Let's talk to who? Who would you like to speak to, Ben?

1:27:01 Drew Let's do three.

1:27:03 Adam Line three.

1:27:04 Drew Dana.

1:27:05 Adam Dana, you're 25.

1:27:07 Caller Yes, hi. I have a question for the doctor. And I had a miscarriage about four weeks ago, and I still haven't had my period. And I'm showing no signs that I usually have when I have my period. I'm just curious, is that normal or?

1:27:22 Drew Yeah. Actually, just a couple of things. How far along were you when you had your miscarriage? Do you?

1:27:26 Caller Oh, I only knew for eight days. So I was like, what, eight weeks? Yeah, about two months, two and a half months.

1:27:34 Drew When you say you only knew for eight days, you had missed your period for eight days before you miscarried?

1:27:40 Caller No, no, no. I personally only knew for eight days.

1:27:43 Drew So that was how long after your last miscarriage?

1:27:48 Caller Two months. I was.

1:27:49 Drew Okay. Fairly early.

1:27:51 Adam Dana, this is Adam. I believe everything happens for a reason. Okay. So miscarriage, fatal accidents, poisoning, SIDS, it all happens for a reason. I believe everything happens for a reason.

1:28:09 Caller Oh, me too. I'm a firm believer in that.

1:28:10 Caller Everything happens.

1:28:12 Adam Everything. Everything.

1:28:14 Caller Oh, totally. Completely. No, I'm okay about it. I was just curious as to how it was.

1:28:20 Adam Were you relieved? Were you trying to get pregnant?

1:28:22 Caller Yeah.

1:28:23 Adam Oh, you were?

1:28:24 Caller I was trying to get pregnant, yeah.

1:28:25 Adam Because it seems to me that a miscarriage when you didn't want to get pregnant is, you know, while there's going to be some feelings attached to it, it might be also some feelings of relief. But a miscarriage when you're trying to get pregnant is a much more devastating experience.

1:28:45 Drew Sure.

1:28:45 Caller Yeah.

1:28:46 Drew So, Dana, just first of all, as far as the periods are concerned, generally speaking, we have a general gist is that it probably is going to take you three months to get anywhere close to either your first period or any kind of regulation of periods. So I would say, yeah, don't just throw that out the window.

1:29:05 Caller Just fertility clinic yet?

1:29:07 Drew You know what? You've actually you've proven to us, Dana, the best proof is in the pudding. You were able to get pregnant and 25 percent of all pregnancies end up in miscarriages. So what happened to you is not that uncommon. 25 percent of all pregnancies end up in miscarriages.

1:29:23 Adam In this country?

1:29:26 Drew I only know statistics in this country. So yeah, I would assume this is this country. And I can tell you that you've actually proven to us, Dana, that I would look at this as a good thing in terms of egg and sperm were able to get together and you were able to get pregnant. So indirectly, you have some very good evidence that, you know, cause you just mentioned something about infertility, you have some, you're 25 years old, you have some very good things that you can take away from this otherwise crappy experience and that is you can totally get pregnant. I know it didn't work out this time, but there's some good stuff to take away from it and give yourself about three months before expecting anything like a regular period again.

1:30:02 Adam So let me ask a bunch of questions. One is, cause Drew says this statistic as well, and I think it surprises a lot of people, 25% of pregnancies end up in miscarriage, but I would assume that the lion's share of those come early in the pregnancy.

1:30:18 Drew I'm talking about 99% what happened within the first three months.

1:30:22 Adam Right. Now, once you get into the second trimester, I imagine that the numbers change quite a bit.

1:30:29 Drew That's actually when you get people a lot more devastated by miscarriages. By then, you've absolutely gotten emotionally attached. You've probably had at least one or two ultrasound. I mean, there's a whole thing that happens by then that makes those a much different experience.

1:30:42 Adam And so, someone like Dana, who gets pregnant and miscarries, is she more likely to miscarry than the average person the second time around?

1:30:54 Drew No. Actually, statistically speaking, we don't see a bump in an increase miscarriage rates until somebody's miscarried three times in a row.

1:31:02 Caller Really?

1:31:03 Drew Yeah. So, you really have to show us that you can't do it multiple before we can say there might be a problem here. And even those people, if they should get pregnant a fourth time, they'll have a successful pregnancy that time at least 65% of the time.

1:31:17 Caller Wow.

1:31:18 Adam So, it's really not that connected. Which is weird because I think the lay people assume that if you had a miscarriage, that something's wrong with you and that you're prone to this.

1:31:30 Drew In some species, I mean, in our species, let's say it's 25% miscarriage rates, in some species it's 90%. I mean, in Wales, it's like 90% miscarriage. I mean, you know, in our species, it's 25% and that's actually not too bad. It's hard to make a human, it's hard to make the process work off.

1:31:48 Adam 90% miscarriage in Wales?

1:31:50 Drew I think that's the percentages in Wales, yeah.

1:31:52 Adam God knows how much like whale fetus I've swam through in my life. You know, the ocean probably filled with like sort of half-formed whales. Great thing about the ocean is anything that falls into it gets eaten. Doesn't matter if it's half-formed Shamu or you just crap off the side of the ferry and ever something something will gobble it up and nothing gets wasted in the ocean. That's what I like. I mean even even the stuff that just falls to the bottom that's nothing but fecal matter something will come scoop up.

1:32:22 Drew Right.

1:32:23 Adam And then we eat that. More catfish.

1:32:27 Drew Yeah, the catfish.

1:32:28 Adam Give it a lobster and the catfish. Thank you.

1:32:30 Drew I'm about to go fishing in Alabama. I'm going to be eating my share of catfish I'm sure.

1:32:34 Adam You'll be the first Jew to noodle a catfish. Never in recorded history is a Jew noodle the catfish. This will be awesome. Joodled we'll call it. Fantastic.

1:32:45 Drew I'm looking forward to it.

1:32:46 Adam Yeah. It sounds like some in-law situation over there. Otherwise, no way you're going.

1:32:51 Drew Actually it's a family reunion so.

1:32:53 Caller Your family?

1:32:54 Caller No.

1:32:54 Adam Not your family. That's Goyim.

1:32:57 Caller The Goyim is from Alabama.

1:32:59 Caller It's such a good time.

1:33:00 Adam You're looking forward to it.

1:33:01 Caller I love it. That's awesome.

1:33:02 Drew I don't fish all the time.

1:33:03 Adam We've never seen a Jew before. You're OGBUI. He's one of them coups, doctors. More catfish. That's going to suck. You got to fake an injury.

1:33:18 Caller I love it.

1:33:19 Adam Unless you stay home.

1:33:20 Drew Oh, come on. A doctor doesn't get out that much. Give me a break.

1:33:22 Caller I love it.

1:33:23 Adam You got to pretend like you like it. Your wife's listening. It's really miserable. All right. Horrible. The summer, Alabama. Horrible. Horrible squad.

1:33:31 Drew You do get to Schvitz, but you get to fish.

1:33:33 Adam Fake your own death. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Well, that's the show. I want to thank Dr. Ben for doing a fantastic job filling in for Dr. Drew. Always, always a delight. Foo Fighters, tomorrow night, and your questions regarding plastic surgery. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Ben, saying mahalo.

1:34:34 Drew I haven't gotten a beard in a long time.

1:34:38 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:34:42 Caller The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of...

1:34:53 Caller Wow.

1:34:53 Caller Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, June 22, 2005