Episode 1000712902427

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

1:01 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:04 Voiceover Sexually-oriented content.

1:07 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:08 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:10 Voiceover This is Loveline.

1:14 Loveline, Loveline, Loveline, Loveline, Loveline, Loveline, with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:20 Adam Hey, everybody.

1:21 It's Loveline.

1:22 Adam I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Tonight, The Bravery is in studio tonight. Sam Endicott and John Conway, both here representing. I'm guessing there's an article in this month's Stuff magazine that features The Bravery. Top 10 artists to watch. So says Rolling Stone, Drew.

1:47 The Bravery Nice.

1:48 Adam Also, Spin Magazine calls him the next big thing. On Leno, The Tonight Show, that's this evening, right? You guys did that at 5.30, 6 in the afternoon?

1:59 The Bravery Yeah, it's gonna be on, I guess in like two hours.

2:01 Adam How was it?

2:03 It was good.

2:03 The Bravery I was kind of scared. You were?

2:05 Well, a little bit.

2:06 Adam It's intimidating.

2:07 The Bravery For some, I don't know, we've done a bunch of TV shows, but for some reason, The Tonight Show just hit me. It's more, I guess, a part of history.

2:15 Drew Yeah, I can see that.

2:16 Adam For me, it was doing the home team with Terry Bradshaw.

2:19 Drew That was rough. I was so nervous.

2:21 Adam That's where I really busted my cherry.

2:23 Drew It took you a while.

2:24 Adam Yeah, it took me a while. I'd been watching him for like six weeks before that, so when you grow up. Yeah, the thing, here's the thing about The Tonight Show. Tonight Show, for everybody between the age of, I don't know, 25 and 80, it represents the pinnacle. You've made it. You're on The Tonight Show. Yes, Drew, Drew, have you ever been on The Tonight Show?

2:44 Caller There's four people in this room.

2:47 Adam Three of them have been on it. No, actually five people. I'm gonna count in here, Chris. Hold on, Chris, if you've been on The Tonight Show, Drew, you're gonna have to just fall on a pen. There are four people in the room. Three of them have been on The Tonight Show, Drew.

2:58 Drew Totally left out.

2:59 Yeah.

3:00 Adam But you know, the thing about, no, I don't wanna burst your bubble, but the thing about The Tonight Show is it isn't obviously their other shows on TV. When we grew up, we watched The Tonight Show it was the only thing on TV at midnight.

3:15 Drew That one, the meaning, we meaning you and me, not these guys.

3:17 Adam Yeah, these guys are young. Yeah, but even these guys.

3:21 Caller Yeah.

3:22 Drew Yeah. They had other channels. We had three.

3:24 Adam How many channels did you guys have growing up?

3:26 Caller I think it started with 13 or something.

3:28 Caller When did you get cable?

3:31 Adam When did cable come, touch your life?

3:35 The Bravery At what point could you not get porn?

3:39 Caller Well, I mean, scramble size.

3:41 The Bravery Yeah, like scramble style. Yeah.

3:43 Caller Channel 35 or something. Yeah.

3:45 Drew So you had some kind of multi-channel access your whole life. Wow.

3:50 Adam See, they don't know from pain. They're just the kids today. That's why they're soft, Drew.

3:55 Caller Yeah.

3:56 Drew We have to find ways to amuse ourselves.

3:58 Adam They call themselves The Bravery, but they just call themselves The Wuss because they're not hungry. They don't know what it's like to play with a wiffle ball and sit around playing that game where you slap the top of the other guy's hands real hard.

4:11 Caller For hours.

4:12 Adam Yeah, not at a bus depot, in your living room.

4:14 The Bravery Well, you've played that.

4:15 Caller Yeah, I'm actually the world champion in that slap game.

4:18 The Bravery Oh, really?

4:19 Caller He's unbelievable.

4:20 Drew Literally.

4:21 Adam Wow.

4:21 Drew Literally unbelievable.

4:22 The Bravery You won't believe it.

4:24 Adam It's intimidating to play because then there's the people that do the little flinch and then there's people do a little finger tickle, that kind of gay-pon thing which just creeps you out and then they slap you.

4:34 The Bravery There's no tricks with him. It's just pure raw.

4:37 Caller I don't even do the like, I won't move my hand.

4:40 Adam Just pure hand speed. Just pure reflexive hand speed.

4:43 Caller Oh, no, I won't move. You could just hit him. Oh, you don't have to move. See, that's like Russian style.

4:47 He's very sad.

4:48 Adam Oh, I see. I see. Give me your best shot. Wear out your opponent. Yeah, Rope-A-Dope, hand up, or whatever you call the hand version of Rope-A-Dope is.

4:58 Caller Float like a Butterfingers.

5:01 Adam The guys, so like I said, gonna be on The Tonight Show tonight. And the audience was good, was receptive.

5:08 The Bravery They were great.

5:09 Adam Sound was good.

5:09 The Bravery They, you know, they cheered at the beginning, obviously, when we first started playing. And then you like went into a keyboard solo and they started cheering again. So like I sing, they don't share for me, but he goes into the guitar, into the keyboard thing and then it's like, ladies love the keyboards.

5:24 Adam You just play the one keyboard though. Cause I want you to, I think I'm trying to bring back is that late seventies, early air band.

5:31 The Bravery Yeah, the spread eagle, we've been talking about that.

5:33 Adam Not only massive spread eagle, but different elevations. One's about eight feet off the ground. The other one's actually just sitting on the floor. And then you get the massive spread eagle.

5:43 Drew It's bringing it back.

5:43 Adam And then you can rock and you got to look around when you're doing it.

5:47 The Bravery My thing is keyboard players used to wear doctors uniforms.

5:50 Adam That's what I was going to say too, scrubs and masks. What happened to scrubs, Drew?

5:55 The Bravery Yeah, the revolution.

5:56 Adam What happened to scrubs in general? Guys in bands used to wear scrubs, guys who were just sort of cool guys who went to junior college wore scrubs. People wore scrubs around.

6:06 Drew Yeah, it's before Juicy.

6:08 Adam The worst boner apparel in the world, by the way, scrubs.

6:13 The Bravery When a doctor gets a boner, that's embarrassing.

6:16 Adam Worse than sweatpants, right?

6:18 Drew Worse.

6:19 Adam I mean, scrubs considerably worse than sweatpants in the boner department.

6:22 Drew Scrubs actually have like a metal woven into them. They do? They're like indestructible. Really?

6:25 Adam But they can't hold a boner back.

6:27 Drew No, no. They're very puffy pant.

6:29 Adam Yeah, and there's no... Do they have pockets?

6:31 Drew Yeah, something in the back basically. Just one in the back.

6:33 Adam What was their first color? Blue and then they came in green?

6:37 Drew I think they were green originally.

6:38 Adam And then came in blue?

6:39 Drew Yeah.

6:39 Adam Is that what it is? You know what? You could follow the scrub color. Now, this is a little esoteric here, but remember when it used to be blue screen and then it went to green screen? I think scrubs change color about the same time. What do you think of that?

6:54 Drew I think that's just fascinating as they call.

6:57 Adam That's what you call heavy, fellas. All right, so surgical scrubs and yeah, get the two Casio's or Hammond's or whatever it's going down today. Spread them way apart and put them at different heights and then you have to get a sort of linebacker stance where you can really rock. Then the scrubs, like I said, optional mask but wear that down around the collar.

7:19 Drew You see how stuff identifies these bands, those sharp dressed bands. No scrubs.

7:24 Adam I see. But the keyboard.

7:26 The Bravery Or the second album.

7:26 Adam It's just the keyboard.

7:28 The Bravery Yeah, all scrubs.

7:29 Adam Levin?

7:30 Caller Yeah.

7:31 Adam What's happening?

7:33 Caller Not a lot. Long time listener, first time caller.

7:36 Adam Great. What's up?

7:38 Caller I'm having these laceration thingy, the barbers, like they kind of grow and then they don't like explode, but they kind of pop open and they're, well of course, on my genitals, but and like it wasn't like oozing out blood, but I put my finger on it and like, I did get a little trace of blood on my finger and I can't go to my doctor.

8:00 Drew Are you sexually active?

8:02 Caller Um, I've received oral one time.

8:06 Drew Did that person maybe have herpes?

8:09 Caller Um, it's possible. I don't think so. I'm not in contact.

8:13 Adam You gotta find that dude and talk to him.

8:15 Drew That's right. And why aren't you going to see a doctor about this outbreak?

8:18 Adam Yeah, I heard me.

8:19 Drew Because, Levin, there's no way I can even imagine what you're describing.

8:22 Adam But it sounds like herpes.

8:24 Caller Well, the thing is the person was in Hawaii now. She was in Hawaii. She went to boarding school.

8:29 Drew Levin, how about going to see a doctor? When you're having one of these lesions, we can figure out what they are.

8:32 Adam She went to boarding school in Hawaii?

8:34 Caller Yeah, her parents went there.

8:35 Caller Surf boarding school.

8:36 Caller Surf boarding school.

8:37 Adam Drew, write that down. It's a UPN hour long. It's Sunday night. It's UPN. Nine o'clock, surf boarding school. Oh, wow. Hold on. Troubled teens. You young lady are going to surf boarding school. And then you hear that sort of Dick Dale guitar come in. Hot chicks. Surf boarding school. North Shore meets North Shore.

9:00 Drew And it could be like a skateboard camp nearby.

9:03 No, no, no.

9:04 The Bravery Do you work the oral herpes into it or not?

9:06 Drew Into the surf boarding school.

9:08 Adam That's what we call a bee story. That's a subplot to shark. It's hour long.

9:12 Drew Where do we take that? I see it just happens. It gets a little education.

9:16 Adam Oh, first appearance, special guest appearance by the chick got her arm bit off by the shark. Oh, awesome. She's hot. Can't think of her name. Can I name Chris? Can I name Booker? Booker? All right. Oh, Drew, surf boarding school.

9:29 Drew What?

9:30 Adam Who goes to boarding school in Hawaii?

9:32 Drew You got to understand the play on words. Surf board in school.

9:35 Adam Yeah, surf boarding.

9:36 Drew Yeah, surf board in school.

9:37 Adam Yeah, yeah. We'll make sure all the, during media training, we'll get all the actors to say it.

9:41 Drew But the point is that the surfboard will be in one color and the ING will.

9:44 Adam Right, right. Oh yeah. And then there's, yeah, there's the troubled sort of gothy chick who wears like a black one piece piercings as a black board. But you have to get her out there.

9:54 Drew We gotta get her a bathing suit and get her on a board.

9:55 Adam We gotta get her on a board. Yeah, cause it's therapy. Yeah. Yeah, it heals. The ocean heals. You know, your body has the same salt content as the ocean.

10:03 Drew But Levin with his thing, it would hurt. So that's why he can't go out.

10:06 Adam Oh yeah, salt water would sting your pecker, Levin. Levin, and it would probably draw sharks.

10:11 The Bravery Is it really easy to get herpes from oral science?

10:14 Drew Yes, really easy.

10:16 Adam Levin, why is she going to boarding school in Hawaii? I'm more, I'm more interested in this.

10:20 Caller You guys are dead on that we were surfing that day that you gave me oral.

10:26 Adam Were you in Hawaii? By the way, that's a good day for a 15 year old.

10:30 Caller Yeah, oral surfing is my passion.

10:32 Adam Yeah, all right.

10:33 Caller Oral surfing is his passion.

10:35 Adam I think he said surfing is his passion, but oral is mine. Receiving that is. Hey, Levin, were, now wait a minute, were you in Hawaii with her?

10:44 Caller No, we were in Northern California where we live.

10:47 Adam And she went to boarding school in Hawaii?

10:49 Caller Yeah, her parents got set up, but they're, I don't know.

10:52 Drew I can't get it out of my head, surf boarding school. I can't get it out.

10:55 Adam Keep it in your head, but keep it in your mouth too, would you?

10:57 Caller When you guys said that thing about like the show and everything, that cracked me up because like we were surfing that day and I spent the night at her house. I mean, you guys like pieced it together.

11:07 Adam Listen, Levin, enjoy your young lives all downhill from here, believe you me. You're not gonna have any more surf days with Oral. So she is in Hawaii because why? She's a good student, she's a troubled student.

11:19 Caller I don't know about her student stuff, but she messed up and her parents got tired of her and I think she got into drugs and stuff.

11:28 Adam Yeah, that'll teach her. You're going to Maui, young lady.

11:32 Drew Alright, listen, Levin, you need a doctor.

11:34 Adam Missy, you want to eat macadamia nuts, listen to ukulele music and a dine on a rose pig? You got it, Missy.

11:41 Drew The way you described those leaves.

11:42 Adam And you know what? You're flying business, not first. Uh-huh. I'll put my foot down. Alright, first. You're going to Maui. I didn't go to Hawaii. I was just 28 the first time I went to goddamn Hawaii. Stayed at like a holiday inn, slept on the floor. Are you kidding me? You're bad students? You go to Hawaii?

12:02 Caller Alright.

12:03 Adam I'm angry at everybody. You all disgust me.

12:06 Drew Levin, what you've described is meaningless. It could be infection, it could be psoriasis, it could be herpes. You need to get a doctor to look at and see what this is.

12:15 Adam Oh man, I'm thinking about this. How do you say it again, Drew?

12:17 Drew Surf boarding school.

12:18 Adam Surf boarding school. Yeah.

12:21 Drew Surf boarding school.

12:22 Adam Yeah. Episode 3, big competition with the males, the male boarding school.

12:27 Drew I think about the photography opportunities for frolicking, it would be a hit.

12:30 Adam Yeah.

12:31 Drew I mean, it's just you got to get the, it's the next Baywatch.

12:34 Adam Man, I can see it now.

12:36 Drew We have to do this.

12:37 Adam Yeah, very beginning, beginning, first shot, beautiful Hawaiian woman, offshore wind, she's wearing like a strong, it's blowing, helicopter shots, sweeping, booming helicopter, she's blowing the cunck. We pan, we come by, we pull in tight on the surf boarding school.

12:55 Drew And everything's about surf, but it's gotta be like six feet under, an ensemble of retroubled kid comic, gotta have a comic twist.

13:02 Adam It is, oh no, no, because there's the funny stoner Hawaiian teacher.

13:08 Drew And then also the goth chick that's got all kinds of, it's it's waiting to be done.

13:12 Adam It's awesome, you guys, anything you guys want to do the music for?

13:15 Caller I think we need to bring back the beach montage that they watched.

13:18 Drew Oh yeah, the frolicking, the frolicking. It'll be there, don't worry.

13:21 Adam The sonic drum, do do do do do do do do. And it got people running, a lot of slow motion, a lot of frolicking, yeah.

13:26 The Bravery There could be spinoffs, like snowboarding school.

13:28 Oh my god.

13:30 The Bravery That's like in the fifth season, you do the snowboarding school.

13:32 Drew They're really misbehaving kids.

13:34 Adam Wakeboarding school.

13:36 The Bravery Maybe clipboarding school. Skateboarding. They're really smart kids.

13:39 Drew Skateboarding.

13:40 Adam A lot of guys following coaches along the sidelines. That's awesome. Clipboarding school. That would be like season eight or something. It wouldn't be as high rated. By then they'll buy anything we give them at that point. No pilot for clipboarding school, by the way. Network is order 26, just based on the strength of our snowboarding and ironing boarding school.

13:59 Drew Ironboarding school.

14:02 Adam Silk.

14:03 Caller Adam.

14:04 Caller Corolla.

14:05 Adam Yeah, we're replacing Marco Polo with Adam Corolla. I don't know if you guys have heard, so spread it around, please. Go ahead, Silk.

14:12 Caller All right, well, tonight I got a question for the guys in The Bravery. I want to know who you guys look up to when it comes to making music.

14:24 Caller That's a broad and deep question.

14:26 The Bravery It's true. For me, I'm a big fan of Brian Eno because he was kind of a rock star performer, guitarist guy, that then became a producer. And so he was able to crank out a lot of really great pop stuff, but then also did some of the most forward-looking albums.

14:50 Adam Yeah, his name used to be everywhere all the time. I don't know what's going on. I haven't heard that much from him or by him in the last...

14:58 The Bravery He's doing a new Travis record. He's producing... I mean, he did, you know, U2, a lot of those records.

15:04 Adam I haven't heard of that band. Were they around the mid-80s?

15:08 Drew Something like that.

15:09 Adam Bono, Bono, Bono, Bono.

15:13 The Bravery But his stuff is some of the best-produced stuff out there and really well-written stuff.

15:16 Caller What about you, John? I like bands. I think The Clash is probably the best example of it. If you do a band that can just progress through a variety of different musical styles, but they kind of always make it their own, whether it's punk rock or dub reggae or disco.

15:35 Adam Yeah. You are planning on starting a band?

15:38 Caller I don't know.

15:38 Adam Maybe. What are you doing, writing for the school newspaper or something?

15:43 Caller Well, I'm in the yearbook staff.

15:44 Adam Oh, you are? Do you get a free yearbook when you get involved with that? Because that would be the only way they could get me.

15:50 Caller We do.

15:51 Adam Free yearbook?

15:51 Caller Yeah.

15:52 Adam Sweet. All right, Silk.

15:54 Caller All right. Thank you.

15:55 Adam You got Eno and you got The Clash. Great. All right. Now, I just got to go on the computer and look at Brian Eno.

16:02 Drew The Clash is 16.

16:03 The Clash too.

16:05 Adam Yeah. I'm going to go get my diploma, by the way. You are? Yeah. I owe North Hollywood High in 1995 for We The People, The History Book, and they never gave me my diploma because I wouldn't pay the money.

16:18 Drew So you're going to get it? Yeah. Oh, that's going to be part of your-

16:20 Adam It took a stand.

16:21 Drew That's part of your series. The cameras will be rolling on that one.

16:25 The Bravery Yeah.

16:26 Adam I'm wondering about that. Yeah, because I don't know, book room interests has got to be more than like a pawn shop, right? Do they have interests at the book room?

16:34 The Bravery No. Well, what's library interests like if you don't pay for the library?

16:37 Adam That's tough. Yeah, they have to be sort of on the same par. Yeah. Book, I've done some hellacious battles with the book ladies at the book room with the books. This book was in B condition. It was clearly C condition when I got it, ma'am, and I covered it dutifully. Yeah, made my thing out of a shopping bag. All right. Do people cover books anymore?

16:59 Drew No.

17:00 Adam Did somebody invent a book cover, perhaps?

17:02 Drew Don't take any calls. Stop taking calls.

17:04 Caller No, I want to know.

17:05 Drew Do not take this next call. Do not take it quickly.

17:07 Adam I want to know. Do people cover books? Yes. Your kids cover the books?

17:11 Drew Yes, they do.

17:12 Adam With book covers or do they do the shopping bag thing?

17:14 The Bravery Both.

17:15 Oh, really?

17:16 Drew Mix it up.

17:16 The Bravery Why do people cover books?

17:18 Drew Mostly because their instructors go, we got to cover these books. We got to use them again next year.

17:23 Adam Yes, next year. When I went to North Hollywood High, they had books that had from the 40s and stuff, and they were like, you got to cover these. It was so big thing, you have to cover the book. Somehow the books, what happens?

17:39 Caller What are you doing to that book?

17:40 Adam Yeah, I don't know. What about the inside of the book? You can't cover that. I know. Anyway, they make a big deal about covering the book.

17:45 The Bravery It's just like a paper bag.

17:46 Adam Yeah.

17:47 The Bravery Does that really defend the book?

17:50 Adam I don't think...

17:51 The Bravery Maybe if you wrap it in styrofoam or something, that would protect it.

17:55 Caller I'm surprised they don't do the optics. I covered my book so you could read something else. Oh, right. You can see the cover in the back.

18:03 The Bravery They should take their covers off completely. Just to make them transparent.

18:06 Adam Yeah, I never opened one. So my thing was like, I'm going to keep the inside pristine. It's going to have that new book smell when I'm done with it.

18:12 Drew Amber 25.

18:14 Hi, how are you?

18:15 Adam What's up?

18:16 Um, yesterday I was working and I put a tampon in and a couple of hours later I went to change my tampon and I couldn't find the string. And so now I can't find it and I've had my boyfriend look and I've had my mom look and I've looked and we can't find it.

18:33 Drew Mom.

18:34 Adam Mom.

18:35 Drew You're a Mormon?

18:36 Caller I think if your mother and your boyfriend work together you can probably dig it up.

18:40 Adam Perhaps you can get your gym coach in there too or some other figure from your past.

18:44 Drew Around one another.

18:45 Adam Go in.

18:46 Drew Mom stays out.

18:47 It's like poltergeist.

18:51 Adam You go into the third dimension there. Go through the porthole in time. And there's your daughter's vagina spinning around. Clocks. Yeah.

19:00 Drew Clocks floating by.

19:01 Adam Yeah, that's right.

19:02 Caller Eyeballs.

19:04 Adam Amber, how did you, how did you broach this with your mom?

19:08 Drew Oh, yeah.

19:09 How did this go?

19:10 Adam How did you get into this with your mom?

19:12 Caller I'm more interested in how she got into it with her boyfriend. That I could say.

19:16 The Bravery It would be hard to get to the goal, Vince. I don't know.

19:18 Well, I'm scared. I'm going to ask anyone to help me that I can find that I'm comfortable with. So why not your mom or your boyfriend?

19:24 Adam No, I know. I know.

19:26 Drew They don't make moms the way they used to, Adam. We feel that moms are sort of your friend now.

19:31 Adam Okay. Oh, to me, there was just a strange woman who smelled funny and lived in the house. I had to avoid it all costs. And that was real mom. Wait till step mom came around.

19:40 Drew That was war.

19:41 Adam That was just someone who wandered in and was basically in the kitchen to sneak in and do a shoulder roll over the sofa.

19:47 Drew Give you steely-eyed stares.

19:49 Adam Oh, that was awesome. Awesome.

19:51 Drew Oh, Amber, actually, here's the deal. This is actually quite a common thing. Okay. And it is potentially rather serious because this is how people get Toxic Shock Syndrome. Is they get stuff caught inside. And the doctors pull these out all the time, condoms and tampons. It's not an uncommon thing. Sometimes people actually have sex with a condom in and it forces it way up high there where you just can't get it out. It's a very simple maneuver to get it out at your doctor's office. But I would urge you to get it done immediately.

20:16 Caller Immediately, like emergency room or immediately?

20:19 Drew Well, you know, if you get fever or feel sick, it's immediate.

20:25 Adam What do you look like, Amber?

20:27 Caller I'm 4'11, weigh 105 pounds.

20:31 Adam Are you attractive?

20:33 Caller I think I'm OK.

20:34 Adam OK. All right. Because I was just thinking of like I'm working the OR that night. I'm like, you are? Sorry. Yeah. And close enough. And one room over. And Amber comes in and it's like I'm standing, it's like, OK, young hot chick with tampons stuck in her. Hobo's got a bowling pin wedged in his ass and he's vomiting. Let's see here. Yeah. Bert, come here.

21:01 Drew That's basically how ER is in the county hospitals and stuff. That's basically what happened.

21:06 Adam We would have to if it was, yeah, we'd have to have a serious discussion and then I don't know if you play like rock, paper, scissor or who.

21:12 Drew You just ramble. Get your work done, get it up, time it out.

21:16 Adam Is there a pecking order? You've been there longer. You get the hot chick with the tampon.

21:19 Drew Well, the attendings get to sort of allocate stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But here's the deal, Amber, the sooner the better, I guess by the book, I should be saying rush right out now and get the thing out. Maybe a little sort of histrionic to say that, but definitely if you get sick in any way, get abdominal pain, rash, fevers, and chills, go immediately.

21:36 Adam What about-

21:37 Drew Definitely tomorrow.

21:37 Adam Drew, things that work themselves out, like if you get a splinter, they work themselves out.

21:43 Drew It does tend to move in the right direction.

21:44 Adam It does.

21:45 Drew Tends to, but not fast enough though. It's got to come out.

21:49 Adam Is there something we could do to her like-

21:52 Drew Well, she can squat-

21:53 Adam use centrifugal force.

21:54 Drew Yeah, she can squat deeply and bear down. It tends to push out just like you're having a bowel movement, I think, but we can push stuff through a little bit.

22:00 Adam Really?

22:01 Drew It's pressure. I mean, it's just a pressure phenomenon.

22:03 Adam Should you hold your nose?

22:04 Drew It might pop if that happens.

22:06 Adam Your ears will pump?

22:06 Drew Your ears will be going, Ooga!

22:08 Adam So, bend down and push.

22:10 Drew Drum's will-

22:11 Adam Bend and push?

22:12 Drew Yeah, but it will squat way deep. Way deep, like your ass lower than your ankles, you know, really down and as low as your ankles.

22:18 Adam Yeah, it's not mathematically possible. Well, you can stand over like a mechanic's pit and do it.

22:24 Caller It's like how they do the ping-pong balls.

22:26 Adam Yeah, yeah, you ever seen that, Drew?

22:27 Drew Yeah, and then if somebody's gonna reach, they gotta reach.

22:31 Adam They gotta get up.

22:32 Drew They gotta reach, yeah.

22:33 Adam All right.

22:34 The Bravery Should they invent tampons with longer strings?

22:36 Drew Should they invent them?

22:37 The Bravery Yeah, or does Eddie say something?

22:39 Caller I don't know. Man, there's a million dollars right there.

22:40 Drew Yeah, but you can make so much money. Yeah, that really isn't the issue. It's just the stuff gets wedged.

22:46 Adam I would have mine on a leash, like a surfboard.

22:48 Drew Around your ankle?

22:49 Adam It's a piece of surgical tubing down on my ankle, velcro. What's going on? Don't worry about it.

22:53 Drew They invented it at surfboarding school.

22:55 Adam Surfboarding school? Good episode.

22:58 Drew Maybe it's a punishment for the kids for improper hygiene.

23:03 Adam Just write stuff down. We don't have to hash it all out on the air. Someone's going to take this idea and run it with a half an hour writing. We have a lot of Hollywood heavy hitter types listening to the show. We have a lot of agents and producers.

23:14 Drew Speaking of which, my show is airing tomorrow night. If you're listening to some of these guys maybe here tonight, it's Midnight on Discover Health Chat.

23:21 Adam Got to catch that.

23:22 Drew It's the June 9th.

23:24 Adam I'm going to Tivo that, Drew.

23:25 Drew It's the 8th or the 9th. What's today?

23:27 Adam The 8th.

23:29 Drew So it's on June 9th? 7th. June 8th at midnight. June 8th at midnight. Please just...

23:33 Adam I was confused.

23:34 Drew June 8th at midnight. Just Tivo it or turn your CV on. Don't have to watch it. Just please give me some love.

23:38 Adam Yeah, don't watch it. Give Drew some love, everybody. He's got a big family.

23:41 Drew That's right.

23:42 Adam And a pretty, pretty heavy co-cabin.

23:44 Drew Let's take a break.

23:45 Adam All right, let's take a break. Jenny? You're 25? Yes. You're bi? Yes. All right, fair enough. And recently been leaning toward a lesbian relationship. Yes. Good times. All right, hold the phone. We have The Bravery here tonight. They're going to be on Leno tonight, Tonight Show Night. Drew, please stop monkeying. We will hear something off the new CD when we come back. We'll speak to Jenny. All that after this. Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. The Bravery in the studio tonight. John and Sam, both here representing The Bravery. Name of the CD. We'll hear something off of that after this bisexual call. Well, what happened?

24:30 Caller She dropped off.

24:32 Drew I think people think when we speak to them that we're done with them.

24:34 Adam Breaks my heart.

24:36 Drew Let's see maybe this is it coming.

24:37 Adam It's never over.

24:38 Drew Never.

24:39 Adam No. It's like, you know, Rambo from the first blood. You know, when he kept saying, it's not over. It's never over. You know, it's not my name.

24:49 Drew Wait. Pick up line 3 here. This is a little diversion for you.

24:57 Adam Vanessa.

24:58 Caller Hi.

24:59 Adam Yeah, hi. What's happening?

25:01 Caller Hi, how are you? I just want to comment about what you were saying last week about women and World War II.

25:12 Adam Yes.

25:12 Drew World War II knowledge. We were animating a comic book.

25:14 Adam All war knowledge.

25:16 Caller Okay, well, you know, knowledge, knowledge. What about the women that are fighting for our country right now?

25:23 Adam I bet they don't know anything about World War II either. I'm not, I'm not saying that women aren't, aren't brave or don't make a contribution.

25:29 Drew Or aren't smart. They just don't, they just don't, well, no.

25:32 Adam I can't imply that, but you're saying. I've never met a woman who knew anything. Look, look, here's what I'm saying. I've never met a woman who knows anything about World War II or almost any war. I think they just tune out immediately when you go like, who are the ally in the Axis powers? They're like, huh? The good guys and the bad guys. They're like, most of them, some of them get, they get as far as the United States and Germany and that's usually where it ends. Any major battle, any piece of machinery, any aircraft, any names from that thing, it's, you know, the biggest thing in the last 60 years changed the course of the world, really. And not a woman knows a thing about it ever.

26:11 The Bravery You're saying specifically they don't know anything about World War II. They might know everything about the Korean War. No, no.

26:17 Caller They definitely don't know the vehicle.

26:18 Adam They're whizzes when it comes to the Korean War. They're like, yeah.

26:22 The Bravery We're in 1812, they know all about that.

26:24 Adam Yeah, that's how it goes. Yeah, no, they...

26:28 Drew Quiz Vanessa, let's see where she is.

26:29 Adam She doesn't know. She's just standing up for the young women in the military, but it would be a funny bit if I went over to Iraq and interviewed women about what they don't know about World War II. Yes?

26:42 Caller You know what? You're just making a reason or an excuse to goof on women, and that is not right because they're putting their life online for us here in the United States.

26:59 Adam Hold on a second.

27:00 Caller Hold on.

27:00 Drew It may be an impairment. An impairment of some time.

27:02 Adam An impairment?

27:04 Caller No, I talked to her. She's claiming that she had dental work.

27:09 The Bravery Oh, really?

27:11 But she sounded the same last night as well.

27:13 The Bravery John's having dental work right now, actually. I'm going to use that. All right.

27:19 Adam Vanessa?

27:19 Caller I want to help you.

27:20 Adam Vanessa?

27:21 Caller Oh, yeah. Do you hear that? Oh, see? No, you're not got your attention. Adam, are you married?

27:27 Adam Yes.

27:28 Caller Are you married, Adam?

27:30 Adam Yes. Sorry, baby. I'm married. What can I say? I'm spoken for, but maybe in another life we get together. I'll tell you about World War II. You tell me about how to properly do a beer bong. It'll be awesome.

27:42 Caller Oh, well, I just want to know, do you have a website?

27:47 Adam Yeah. Do I?

27:48 Caller Yeah.

27:49 Adam Yeah. It's broadsdonothennothentherboutworldwarii.com..org..org. Sponsored by the government. I don't care.

27:58 Caller What?

28:00 Do you?

28:02 Adam Vanessa, listen, whatever you do, don't get fired up and hang up because I'm knee deep into this call and I'm going up to my neck.

28:08 Caller Okay, tell me this.

28:10 Adam Yes.

28:11 Caller Why do you have so much anger for women?

28:16 Adam I love women. What are you talking about?

28:18 Caller You do it on them all the time.

28:21 Adam Look, all I said was I hate women. Look, no, outside of my own family, I'm cool with checks. You understand why I hate our callers?

28:30 Caller Oh no, you, okay, well tell me this. What is a weft? What is a French manicure?

28:37 Adam That's where they do the white on the end.

28:41 Caller Oh, what's a weft?

28:43 Adam What's a what?

28:44 Caller A weft. D-E-F-T.

28:48 Adam A weft?

28:48 Caller A weft.

28:50 Adam That is a direction that would be the opposite of east.

28:52 The Bravery Of east.

28:53 Adam Of east.

28:54 Caller Yes.

28:55 Caller That is a roll of hair for hair extensions.

28:59 The Bravery Hold on, by the way.

29:01 Caller Wow.

29:01 Adam I love when women, I love, it's so great, too, when chicks pull that. Like, look, I don't know about world history, but you know nothing about pastry.

29:11 Caller Like, yeah, I know.

29:14 Adam I'm not, I'm deeming that a novelty. I can start bringing up model airplane stuff, too, but I'm not. We're talking about world events here, not about hairdos. Yeah? Yeah? Well, what's a Dorothy Hamill, huh?

29:29 Caller Because, I mean, men are, like, constantly at battle with each other for, like, territory and...

29:36 Adam I know. I know.

29:37 Caller Women aren't. We're loving...

29:39 Adam I hate women. No. No, listen, Vanessa, Vanessa, all I was saying is, is it was... It was Memorial Day.

29:47 Drew Yes.

29:47 Adam And, uh, I was giving, uh, tip of the hat to the, uh, fighting men and women who have served this country so gloriously over the years and have given their life, uh, in duty. And, no, I decided to ask the ladies if they could name one airplane from World War II, and we talked to, uh, 22 chicks and...

30:06 Drew Didn't we get one that did? One that had, like, three of them.

30:09 Adam Yeah, but we found out her boyfriend was standing next to her, feeding him.

30:13 Caller No, we didn't ask the men.

30:16 Adam I didn't ask the men about hairdos?

30:18 Caller No, about World War II.

30:20 Adam No, we asked, we got one 18-year-old stoner from, like, Lompoc, and he fired off five planes.

30:26 Caller It's not called Lompoc, it's Lopoc.

30:29 Adam All right.

30:33 Drew Let's go.

30:33 Adam Vanessa, hold on, hold on a second.

30:35 Drew He's, like, picking at a sword.

30:36 Adam All right, no, I can't help it. Throw the face back. Vanessa.

30:39 Yeah.

30:39 Adam Seriously.

30:40 Caller You guys know who I am.

30:42 Adam No, we do. We do.

30:43 Yeah.

30:44 Caller I'm from Scottsdale, Phoenix, Arizona.

30:47 Adam Okay. Are you drinking tonight?

30:49 Caller No, I had veneers to put. You know, my front teeth, my veneer, you know what a veneer is.

30:55 Adam Right, but what about your brain?

30:57 Caller Um, I had a stroke.

30:59 Adam Oh, see, now I feel bad.

31:01 Caller All right.

31:02 Adam What happened?

31:03 Drew She was in the car accident.

31:03 Adam Were you in a car accident?

31:05 Caller Oh, a wrong O.

31:07 Drew And she's blind, remember?

31:08 Adam Oh, no.

31:09 Drew There you are, you're the blind, partially blind.

31:11 Adam Before, I was like, sort of on the fence about going to hell.

31:13 Drew Yeah.

31:13 Adam Now, now I'm the ambassador. I remember, Vanessa, I'm getting a sad.

31:17 Caller You don't even believe there is one.

31:19 Adam Well, okay, but if there is one, that's where I'm going.

31:21 Drew Vanessa, you're partially blind, right? That's you.

31:23 Caller No, I am not blind.

31:26 Drew You weren't head injured in a car accident, wasn't that you?

31:28 I know you're talking about this, too.

31:29 Adam There's two separate ones. What happened, Vanessa? What happened with the... Did you get in an accident?

31:37 Caller No, I went into the hospital because I had pneumonia and they didn't put my... I can't really talk about it. They didn't put my lungs in, so that's...

31:48 Adam All right.

31:49 Caller All right.

31:50 Adam Are you okay? Are you able to work? Oh, let's put our petty differences aside, Vanessa.

31:54 Caller Okay. Well, you know, that's the side that this phone call is all about.

32:00 Adam Well, hold on. When I say we're putting our petty differences aside, you can't say that... You can't not put that aside. We got to put that aside. What's going on? Are you working?

32:10 Caller You know what? That's not the purpose of this call.

32:14 Adam Oh, all right. All right. Look, I felt sorry for you for like 10 seconds, but you got a bitch so much. Jesus Christ. Drew, look, it's just a known fact that women don't know anything about World War II. That's all or any war. Not their field of interest. Yes?

32:29 Drew Seems that way.

32:30 Adam Yes. But what's going on with the teachers? I don't know. Are they supposed to be teaching them that crap?

32:34 Drew You would think.

32:35 Caller All right. Wait, nobody could get any airplane from World War II?

32:38 Drew Not the women. They couldn't get access and allied powers.

32:41 Adam Yeah, but we have exceptionally dumb callers. I mean, Vanessa's...

32:46 The Bravery When was the last time I had a conversation with a girl about World War II?

32:49 Caller Never.

32:49 Adam It's never happened.

32:50 Caller That's how I'm going to start. I'm going to use that to get good ones.

32:52 Drew Try the Civil War.

32:54 Adam You would have difficulty finding one that knew what decade it was in.

32:58 Drew World War II. Predominantly.

32:59 Adam Yes. Yes. I'm going to start a game show.

33:02 Drew Cheyenne? Yeah. What's happening?

33:06 Adam It's your dude?

33:08 Drew What?

33:09 Caller All right.

33:09 Adam Hold on a second. I want to hear a song from The Bravery.

33:12 Drew All right.

33:14 Caller All right.

33:15 Adam Do you remember Vanessa? You're thinking of somebody else.

33:18 Drew I was thinking of somebody else, but I remember Vanessa, too.

33:20 Adam All right. I feel bad now, but what are you going to do? She was giving me a pain in my ass. All right. Should we hear something? Let's self-title them, by the way, Bravery. Cute up there, Chris. This one's called An Honest Mistake. Yeah, The Bravery, everyone. Off the Elm, The Bravery. It could have been The Tonight Show Night. Sound like there could have been some dual keyboard playing.

37:16 Drew Easily.

37:17 Adam Spread out. Nice and wide.

37:19 Drew Opportunity for that.

37:20 Adam We'll be back with the boys and play a little Germany or Florida. All that after this.

37:26 Caller Dude, you got issues.

37:52 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew over there. The feisty, animated Dr. Drew. Look out. He's a man of passion, and he's not scared to shed or spread.

38:07 Drew Spray. Or spray my passion.

38:09 Adam His passion upon you, the listener.

38:11 Drew We're gonna take the heart of our enemy and we're gonna eat it. Ooh, I have no idea. How does he get that crap?

38:17 Adam I don't know. I think that's just actually what you think, but I've never heard you actually say that.

38:23 Drew Certainly it escaped you and I. We're gonna eat the heart of our enemy and we're gonna eat it.

38:27 Adam The bravery, the scaring, even the bravery scared in front of you, Drew.

38:31 Drew It's interesting what can be taken out of context.

38:34 Adam I know, I think that's in context, Drew. I think you meant every syllable. I had a nice thing happen to me today. The first time, for my entire life, they've been telling me not to take those Q-tips and shove them inside of my ear.

38:52 Caller Yeah.

38:53 Adam You know, because they do that thing where they go, you get the Q-tip and you go, I'm gonna clean my ear out. I didn't understand that. And they're like, no, no, no. It's for the outside. Don't put that in your ear. Outside?

39:02 Drew It's for the pinna.

39:04 Adam Listen, what do you mean the outside? I can get my finger or popsicle stick. I don't need their crap for the outside. I don't need the crap for the inside.

39:13 Caller You need the wax cones, though. That's what you need. You know what?

39:16 Adam They're stoned. Okay, we need to get into that. We need to get into coning and candling and coning and all this. But let me just say this. My buddy Daniel punctured his ear drum. I know.

39:27 Drew It happens all the time. It's the leading cause of rupture of the ear. I see it all the time. What? Just putting it in a Q-tip?

39:31 Adam I've been shoving that stuff in my ear for my whole life.

39:35 Drew How many times have I told you about that?

39:36 Adam Oh, it doesn't matter. It's never happened.

39:38 Drew I just have told you about it a million times. It never happens till it happens. Now everybody's got it and it's going to be a pain for him.

39:43 Adam Yeah, yes. He can't open his mouth, which is probably a good thing.

39:45 Drew Oh, Adam. Opportunity for you.

39:49 Adam The point is, I finally found someone who did damage to themselves with the Q-tip.

39:53 Drew Did he slip or did he just did it pushing it in?

39:56 Adam He just was cleaning and went in there. Now, let's talk about candling for a second, because when I met Jimmy Kimmel 10, 11 years ago, he was all about the candling. He told me, you put these wax funnels in your ear, and then you light them on fire, and the next thing you know, the ear wax just comes pouring out. But he was duped.

40:17 Drew Yes, the wax was pouring out.

40:19 Adam It's the wax of the candle. Yes, of course. I was in Santa Barbara, I dropped like 18 bucks at a head shop and bought three of these candles. Then cut to me lying on the kitchen floor, the paper plate stuffed in my ear and this thing on fire, me yelling at my girlfriend, I don't feel anything, I can't hear. It's horrible, but here's the thing, Jimmy's new lady friend Sarah Silverman got herself an actual water pick, like an instrument and works ears with it.

40:47 The Bravery I've already had that done.

40:49 Adam It goes nuts.

40:50 The Bravery They blast it in the ear full of water and like a wax, like an inch of wax came out of my ear.

40:58 Drew You get those little squirt bulbs too.

41:00 The Bravery It's the most satisfying experience of my life.

41:02 Drew And you can just do it yourself if you want.

41:03 Adam Yeah. Well, she unfortunately found a part that would not free itself.

41:08 Drew It's hard. Sometimes it can be very difficult.

41:09 Adam She couldn't get at it and she was going nuts.

41:11 Drew Herself.

41:13 Adam On me.

41:13 Drew On you.

41:14 Adam On my ear. Yeah. There's a chunk in there. The left side is bad because I drive and my wife gets the right side while I drive. It's awesome. Yeah. It's awesome.

41:26 Drew Let me go. I don't have an otoscope with me. I don't.

41:29 Caller You don't have an otoscope with you.

41:30 Adam Listen, I don't like that feeling when they put that thing in your ear.

41:33 Drew It's only going to see what's going on in there.

41:35 Adam Listen, I know what's going on in there. The point is, is she got me with the water pick and couldn't get this chunk out.

41:40 The Bravery Why you're driving.

41:41 Drew How do you know?

41:42 Adam Actually, that was.

41:42 Drew You wouldn't let her look in there.

41:44 Adam We're not mobile.

41:45 Drew And there's a chunk.

41:46 Adam She's looking in there with the water pick saying there's a chunk in her. Maybe she has one of those. What are they called?

41:52 Drew Otoscopes.

41:53 Adam Otoscopes. Yeah. She's got an otoscope. She's like a. I don't think she's licensed or bonded or anything. But she's really. By the way. So you got to be a Jewish chick to do that. No Goyim would ever go around with the thing and the candle, the spray and the otoscope, like actually traveling around doing people's ears. But that is a thing that chicks do. The one thing they do know, maybe not World War II, but they know like picking zits and cleaning ears. They're like spider monkeys. They'll jump right on your head and start pulling stuff out of it.

42:22 Drew One of your minion has been deflowered. Talk to Shannon real quick.

42:26 Adam All right, all right. Shannon?

42:28 Caller Hi, Adam?

42:29 Adam Yeah.

42:30 Yeah, about like half an hour ago, I just received a ticket making a left-hand turn on a red arrow.

42:36 Drew Wow. We had that code that said how you can get out of it.

42:42 Adam Yeah, that's worthless. Look, in any great battle, there's gonna be martyrs. There will be the fallen. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You don't win a war without losing a few lives. And that's what happened to young Shannon, by the way. And so-

42:59 Drew So a great monument is on it?

43:00 Adam Yeah. Well, let me tell you what the deal is. They have these left-turn arrows all over town. As of six years ago, there were three all in Culver City. Now there's thousands spread across the Southland. I'm all for the arrow that turns green and alleviates traffic. But then it turns red. And it stays red while the signal is green. And you're sitting there in the middle of the night, not being able to turn left, even though the signal is green, and there's no traffic coming from any direction. And by the way, six months ago, there was no arrow there. You just turned left when it was safe to turn left. Now you're just sitting there waiting to get carjacked or T-boned by a drunk driver. I have started a personal crusade to go through every goddamn one of them. I just drive through them. I've done thousands, and I beg my listeners to do the same. My thing is, is I don't think cops will see you. Now I don't know if this cop was behind Shannon. Shannon?

43:57 Yeah?

43:58 Adam Where was the fuzz?

44:00 The cop? He was on the right, like I was making a left onto the street, and he was on the right side. He was in the dark, pitch black. I guess he was watching for speeders.

44:09 Drew Where were you?

44:10 I was in Laguna Nigal. This is Orange County. This dominates Culver City in terms of...

44:14 Drew We're just out of curiosity.

44:15 Adam Oh yeah, they're going insane with the arrows.

44:17 Drew Yeah.

44:18 Adam And what time did you get in the evening?

44:21 10, 15, yeah, it was like almost like 40 minutes ago now.

44:23 Drew Where in Laguna Nigal?

44:25 On the corner of, if I give you the street...

44:28 Adam Why, you no judge over that?

44:29 Drew Well, I'm just saying like Crown Valley and those things.

44:31 Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's right near Crown Valley.

44:33 Drew Yeah, see? Every, almost every place. That's where the green arrow was invented.

44:38 Adam Oh, really? Well, the red arrow. So listen, Shannon. Yeah. Listen, you're still in the game. Because here's what I'm going to need you to do. I'm going to need you to fight this ticket. I just drove through when we had the Weenie roast.

44:52 Drew The man's already taking a bullet. You're going to make him go back?

44:55 Yes.

44:56 Adam Yes, brave soldier. Because I was just out there when the Bravery was playing the Weenie roast, and I drove through several hundred of those God-forsaken left turn reds.

45:06 Drew Oh, that's in Irvine.

45:07 Adam In Irvine on my way home from the whatever. The point is now, and this is where it starts, you must fight it. And you must say, why? By the way, that intersection has been there for 35 years. The arrow's been there for eight months.

45:21 Drew No, no, not a crown. That's my question.

45:23 Adam 20 years. The arrow's been there for 20 months. What were the people doing the other 19 years? You know what I'm saying? Why isn't that arrow on a timer? It's there to alleviate traffic, but in the middle of the night, yo.

45:37 Drew Or why not yield on green?

45:38 Caller Why not yield on-

45:39 Adam Shannon, Shannon, you know what I'm gonna need you to do?

45:41 Drew Yeah.

45:41 Adam Here's what I'm gonna need you to do. I'm gonna need you to go to that intersection. I'm gonna need you to go there at the time you got the ticket. And I'm gonna need you to videotape while the arrow is red and the signal is green and show the judge that there are no cars, no oncoming traffic, and they're gonna have to explain to you why what you did was dangerous.

46:02 Drew And try to get them to change it to yield on green.

46:05 Adam Yeah, and what's wrong with the timer, you pussies? All right, Shannon, please keep fighting the fight and call us back, but please fight this. Would you please?

46:12 I'll give you an update.

46:14 Adam Are you gonna fight it?

46:15 I'm gonna fight it for sure, cause I can't.

46:16 Adam Fight it, fight it. Yes, listen, everyone, fight these tickets. These chicken ass tickets. What the hell are they doing? We're sitting there in the middle of the night and all they talk about is getting traffic moving in the town?

46:28 Drew It is one of the great patriots.

46:29 Adam Pussies. What is their new thing? Click it or ticket? Oh, kiss my ass, you idiots. You guys come up with something better than that. And how about letting the town breathe, huh? How about we get to move a little bit? How about you stop putting your wet, crappy, urine soaked blanket on us and let us drive? We employ you, you idiots. Now go out there and bust some curbs and quit handing out chicken ass tickets. Jesus Christ. No one ever speaks up either. Everyone just sits around. Well, the arrow must be there for a reason, you lemmings. Sit around, lemmings. Sit around and wait for the grim reaper, you pussies, and do just what the man tells you to do, you wusses. Be the man's little bitch. That's a great plan. Just sit around.

47:11 Drew And by the way, and we'll be back.

47:12 Adam No wiping your ass until the man gives you the green light, you lemming pussy puppets. Okay, The Bravery in tonight. We'll be back to chat up, chat down with them after this. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, Sam and John here tonight from The Bravery.

48:17 The Bravery That band was the Dead 60s, by the way, and we're going on tour with them.

48:21 Adam Oh, really? They're the not the Dead 60s, but The Bravery can be found tonight on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. And who else was on the show tonight?

48:35 The Bravery Adam Brody from the OC and Chris Matthew from Hardball.

48:43 Adam True, you've done Hardball, yes.

48:45 Drew Many times. Oh, wait, you've never done that. Yeah.

48:48 Adam I don't do deep cable, Drew, I do network. That's deep cable. All right.

48:58 Yep.

48:59 Adam You're 29?

49:00 Caller Yes, Adam. I'm an attorney and I'm a big fan of yours. And I'm really for this left turn thing. And I want to defend Shannon for free and make a big thing about this ticket.

49:11 Adam Well, we really, I think we. Yes. Thank you. Let me just say this about our society. We have abandoned our society. We were, everyone is just sleepwalking through it. There was a day when we used to question the man. You know, you told the black chick to get to the back of the bus. She said, screw you, Whitey. I'm sitting up front. And everyone, of course, it was a law. But no, we're not going to stand for it. We need to wrestle our society back from, sorry, your brother in the attorneys and the man. The man is squeezing us. We can't get anything done, especially here in Southern California. All the FCC stuff, all the laws on the road. You got to drink your beer out of a paper cup. You can't do anything. You go to the airport. You get a stick put up your ass. We got to wrestle it back from the man. And this is just the first step in a very long journey, Corey.

50:07 Caller Adam, Adam, I agree with you. I also think that crab shampoo should be available over the counter.

50:14 Adam Thank you. That's another one of those things.

50:17 Caller Morning after pill for crying out loud.

50:19 Adam Thank you. We live in a society where you can buy a fifth of scotch and a crossbow, but if you want crab shampoo, you got to get a note from the doctor.

50:27 Drew Yeah. What?

50:27 Adam Are the kids drinking it?

50:29 Drew Yes.

50:30 Adam What the F is going on? We need to stand up. You need to defend our last caller.

50:36 Drew Shannon.

50:36 Adam Yes. You need to defend Shannon. Shannon the patriot. Right.

50:39 Drew Patriot Shannon. Brother Shannon.

50:41 Adam Brother Shannon.

50:41 The Bravery You never got high on crab shampoo?

50:44 Caller Wait, kids are drinking crab shampoo?

50:45 Adam What are those? Here's what you need to do. First, you need to defend Shannon in court for this left turn arrow thing. And then secondly...

50:53 Drew How's Shannon get a hold of a Corey?

50:55 Adam Oh, that's a good question. Hold on. I have a second part of the case.

50:58 Drew OK.

50:58 Adam Sue his parents for naming him Shannon. I'm pretty sure you can win that one. Yeah. No. Yeah, we will. We'll figure out a way to put these two together. But let me give you the let me give you the broad strokes of your case, Corey.

51:11 Drew Thank you, Mr. Carolla, Judge Carolla.

51:13 Adam Well, first off, what? Forget about letter of the law. What about spirit of the law? Obviously these first off, I don't know why these arrows ever turn red. They should just go to yield. People turn left at every other intersection. What is so special about this intersection that's inherently more dangerous than the two intersections to the left and to the right of it? That's one thing. The next thing is, is how about you guys use your technology, perhaps the technology you guys use to give everyone tickets when they go through the intersection? A humming birds fart away after the light turns yellow or red or whatever and snapshots from 15 different angles. How about you use some of that technology to put these things on timers? So at 10, 1030 in the evening when there's no traffic, people can move along. And also, what about the danger of just sitting in the middle of the highway in your car?

52:11 Drew These days.

52:12 Adam Yes, when people could be perhaps driving drunk or carjackings or is it more dangerous to turn left when there's zero traffic or sit there just waiting to be clipped by some biker? Yes.

52:27 Caller Give me a mother f*****g shoot!

52:29 Adam That's right. Now what do you think?

52:31 Caller Anything else I need to put down?

52:36 Adam No, how are you going to defend Young Shannon, Corey?

52:39 Caller Okay, well I've never done a traffic ticket case before, but I don't know, I was just going to do some research and then go in there and talk about freedom and justice.

52:51 Drew Well, we had a cop call one night and said that the interpretation of the actual statute is pretty flexible. The actual statute that says you have to, it actually says you can turn on the red arrow.

53:04 Adam Yeah, if you do a little homework, you might find a loophole. But here's the thing, not all laws, there's certain laws that were meant to be broken. This is at the top of the list. Let's just admit we made a mistake and serve the public. That's what we need to do, all right? All right, call us and keep us posted.

53:23 Caller You give us a bad name, Adam.

53:25 Adam What's that, not all attorneys? All right.

53:27 Caller Only 99 percent.

53:29 Adam I will not talk smack about you or your kind if you get young Shannon off on this one.

53:34 Drew How shall we call you?

53:36 Adam Hey, you ball-less fags, just kill yourselves.

53:38 Drew How should he get ahold of you?

53:41 Adam I was thinking I was talking about publicists there, to be fair.

53:43 Drew That's true, yeah.

53:43 Caller To be fair. I don't want to give out the phone number, but for your business, no.

53:49 Adam We're going to put a quarry on hold.

53:51 Caller We'll get it off there and then we'll get Shannon Colback.

53:52 Adam We'll get it off there. Now here's what we need to do, everyone. A, everyone needs to go through every one of these MFing signals, Pussy Drew. You must do it, too. B, if, if, and it's a big if, because I've driven through 2,000 of these things now, never gotten sighted. If you get sighted, we need to fight it. And then we just clog the entire system up and it grinds to a halt. That's what we need to do. All right, I'm sorry.

54:18 Caller What's this lawyer's name? I'm pretty sure it's Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs.

54:23 Adam Yeah, I know.

54:24 Caller It needs to put cream on its skin.

54:27 Put that promotion in the basket.

54:30 Caller Put that promotion in the basket.

54:32 Adam This would be awesome when a guy's like 6'8, with a 5 foot, a forehead, just shows up at court, just looking like Lurch. How do you plead? How's your client plead? Scares the crap out of the judge. Now, look, the cops don't even show up half the time. When I got my ticket in Burbank, the cop didn't show up. Now, so we just need to keep beating it. That's all. Need to beat back the man and explain to them their job is to, again, do what, Drew?

55:01 Drew Do what we want them to do.

55:02 Adam That's what you cops need to do, what we tell you to do, not what you feel like doing. Understand? Go bust some perps. Leave the chicken ass stuff to the meter mates.

55:12 Drew Take a little Germany or Florida.

55:13 Adam All right. Cheyenne?

55:17 Caller Yeah.

55:18 Adam You're 32?

55:19 Caller Yeah.

55:20 Adam What's up?

55:21 Oh, I agree with the left turn deal. I've never had to deal with one, but.

55:26 Drew Hey, Cheyenne, what's going on?

55:28 Caller Just do it!

55:29 I'll stop and take off on a straight red light if nobody's coming.

55:33 Adam Yeah, I'd do that too. It's nice. Yeah, why not? Hold on a second, let me just say something different. What's so different about an intersection where no one's coming with a red light or one with a stop sign on your side where no one's coming?

55:46 Drew Whatever happened to the blinking red light?

55:48 Adam Alright, just everyone, let's just use our own brains, everybody, and just drive accordingly. Can we do this? And if someone does something dangerous, they get killed. That's awesome.

55:57 Caller Go ahead, Cheyenne. Germany of Florida! Germany of Florida!

56:10 Adam We have to play that, otherwise Dave fires off an angry, drunken email at Dr. Drew. There's overtones of racism implied in it. Go ahead, Cheyenne.

56:22 Alright, a 46 year old woman was incarcerated for 30 days for shooting her neighbor's Chihuahua. She told the authorities that when the Chihuahua entered her backyard, the beast frightened her for her life and she fired her shotgun twice into the air before killing the animal. Germany or Florida.

56:41 Caller The beast?

56:43 Adam Yeah, the beast.

56:43 It was a three pound Chihuahua.

56:46 The Bravery She fired it twice into the air and then killed the Chihuahua?

56:49 Adam Right.

56:50 And then killed it because it wouldn't leave.

56:52 Adam It was a warning shot.

56:52 The Bravery She gave it two warning shots.

56:53 Adam Yeah.

56:53 Two warning shots. It wouldn't leave. She was afraid for her life and then it wouldn't leave.

56:59 Adam Okay.

56:59 The Bravery So it was not a spontaneous gut reaction to the Chihuahua storming in or something like that. She actually thought about it long enough to...

57:06 Drew Premeditated.

57:07 The Bravery Yeah.

57:08 Adam Right. Well, although she fired a warning shot and the Chihuahua kept coming.

57:13 Drew I'm saying it wasn't just some sort of frightened response. She thought it out and delivered.

57:17 Adam And by the way, write all the letters you like. Good. One less Chihuahua. They're wretched beasts. They're lower than a pigeon. They really are. They're horrible. I wish more of them would just get shot by old ladies with shotguns. Please, people with the Chihuahuas, they're horrible animals.

57:32 Drew Shotgun, Chihuahua, backyard, Florida.

57:35 Adam Feels like Florida. Shotgun feels like Florida. Chick sport and shotgun feels like Florida.

57:40 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

57:41 Adam What do you guys think? Germany or Florida?

57:44 Caller I think they make better shotguns in Germany.

57:46 Adam Oh, yeah.

57:47 Caller And they don't tolerate those dogs. Oh, no.

57:50 The Bravery I feel like people are better armed in Germany, in America.

57:52 Drew America.

57:53 Adam Yeah. That's the same. You go in Florida?

57:57 The Bravery Yeah, I'm going to Florida. Yeah.

57:58 Adam John?

57:59 Caller I'm going to go with Germany.

58:01 Drew Germany could be right.

58:01 Adam All right. So we got two Florida's into Germany. I'm going to Germany.

58:08 Drew Okay.

58:08 Adam Germany, too. Cheyenne? Cheyenne? Germany or Florida?

58:11 Caller Naples, Florida.

58:12 Adam Yeah.

58:16 Caller Yeah.

58:16 Drew Yeah.

58:16 Caller Yeah.

58:17 Drew That's what I'm talking about.

58:17 Adam It just hurts.

58:18 Caller It hurts.

58:19 Caller That's all.

58:20 Caller That's all.

58:20 Adam All right, Cheyenne. Thanks.

58:21 Caller All right. You guys rock. Thanks.

58:23 Adam Thank you. I hate chihuahuas. They're horrible.

58:27 Drew I got that.

58:28 Adam They're horrible.

58:29 Drew Yeah, I hear that.

58:29 Adam They just growl all the time. They're a little yappy. I just... When you take a look at a chihuahua, you take a look at a lab.

58:35 Drew Yeah.

58:36 Adam A lab just like... I would just like to back over chihuahuas.

58:39 Caller There's two kinds of dogs. Oh, I have a lab.

58:41 Drew Oh, yeah. What are the two kinds?

58:43 Caller I think they either come from wolves or hyenas. And good dogs like labs or retrievers or nice dogs and lap dogs or like overgrown rats all come from hyenas.

58:55 Adam Yeah.

58:55 The Bravery Is that true?

58:57 Caller It sounds good.

58:57 Adam It sounds good, yeah. I'm with you. I'm with you. A hyena is even better than a chihuahua. Chihuahuas are horrible. Have you ever met one you like?

59:05 Caller No. The Taco Bell one is maybe the best chihuahua ever, but it's not a dog.

59:09 Adam That's a midget in an outfit. That's not an actual dog. I know that guy.

59:13 The Bravery Wren. Wren and Stimby.

59:16 Adam He's a pretty decent chihuahua. But look, it's funny to me that one got shot with a shotgun because they are lower on the chain than roaches or pigeons. Lindsay?

59:26 Hi.

59:27 Adam You're 17?

59:28 Caller I am.

59:29 Adam What's up?

59:31 Caller I was wondering what the health problems would be with getting a tattoo.

59:34 Adam Actually, I found something that's worse than chihuahuas. The people that drag them around and now voice them on you and bring them into your life. Like how many chihuahuas would you actually come across if not for those broads who drag them with them everywhere, carry them everywhere?

59:49 Drew Dalmatians and chows, they're also...

59:51 Adam No, they're neurotic, but here's the thing. You don't get the crazy bitch with the bad hair dragging the Dalmatian into wherever you work or forcing you to have interaction with the Dalmatian. They're at the fire department.

1:00:04 Caller Dalmatians don't fit in a purse, I think. Right.

1:00:07 Adam You don't have to deal with Paris Hilton's Dalmatian.

1:00:09 Drew Chows.

1:00:11 Adam Or chow. They just run around with their purple tongue and people tell you to stay away from them.

1:00:15 Hey, Corolla, I got a chihuahua that'll bring in.

1:00:17 Drew You'll like it.

1:00:18 Adam Really?

1:00:19 Drew No.

1:00:19 Adam Yeah, Drew, I showed you the picture the other day.

1:00:20 Drew It was a great little dog.

1:00:22 Adam All right. You bring it in, Anderson.

1:00:24 Drew But that's a really, that's one of those mini chihuahuas.

1:00:26 Adam Yeah. He's cool. He's three pounds. You get the, bring the skeet, bring the skeet loader in and you bring the, you bring the, it's just going to be awesome.

1:00:36 Drew You're center, you're gooey and you'll love this dog.

1:00:38 Adam I hate all chihuahuas.

1:00:39 Drew All right, Lindsay, what's the question?

1:00:41 Caller What would be the health, some of the health risks from getting a tattoo?

1:00:47 Drew Mostly, it's something you just don't want someday. There are people that are concerned about blood-borne pathogens like hepatitis or HIV.

1:00:55 Adam No one seems to get it. There seems to be no repercussions for getting tattoos or piercings.

1:01:00 The Bravery Does it depend where you get it?

1:01:02 Drew Yeah, of course. Reputable places and make sure they're using sterile equipment when they're meant to part of your body. I've not seen, I imagine you could get infected just about anywhere.

1:01:11 Caller Oral tattoos are just as infected as oral tattoos.

1:01:15 Drew But I've not seen that happen, so I'm just guessing that can happen.

1:01:19 Adam Lindsay?

1:01:20 Caller Yeah.

1:01:20 Adam What are you looking to get?

1:01:22 Caller I want to get one on my hip so that I won't see it when I'm older, so I won't regret getting it. And probably only about an inch, so not that big of a deal.

1:01:32 Adam What are you going for? What are you looking at?

1:01:35 Caller Probably a Buddha.

1:01:36 Adam A Buddha?

1:01:37 Drew Why a Buddha?

1:01:37 Adam That's going to pay dividends. You love that well in your 50s.

1:01:41 Drew Why a Buddha?

1:01:42 Adam Yeah.

1:01:43 Caller Because I'm atheist and it's probably the closest to something that I like. And I thought about Chinese symbols, but everybody has them.

1:01:51 Adam Yeah, F'd out, as we say in the tat business with the Chinese symbols. And I know they're F'ing with us too, by the way, the tat guys are like, I'm a wuss or, you know, put your balls here. That's what it says on it. Yeah, small in the back. Yeah, it's awesome. It means, it means, it means an arrogant warrior.

1:02:12 Drew It really says put your balls here. Rest nuts here. Okay.

1:02:16 Adam That's right. All right. Hey, Lindsay, why bother? Don't bother with the tats. Not gonna help you. No one cares. Just, just knock it off. Remember you're special and there's no one else, no one else out there like you.

1:02:31 Drew So you don't need anything to mark yourself up.

1:02:32 Adam You need to get a tat. You're the only Lindsay. You know what I'm saying?

1:02:36 Caller Actually, there's a lot of Lindsay's, but.

1:02:38 Adam Well, I know, I know there's a lot of chicks named Lindsay, but you're, you know, Lindsay. No one else was created like you.

1:02:45 Caller That's probably true.

1:02:46 Adam Yeah, you're like a really mediocre snowflake. You know what I mean?

1:02:52 Caller I think I'm better than a mediocre snowflake.

1:02:54 Adam Okay. All right.

1:02:55 The Bravery Can I officially go on record as saying I don't understand the appeal of tattoos?

1:03:00 Adam Yes.

1:03:01 The Bravery And I know I'm in a band and stuff, and I'm supposed to have tattoos, but I don't.

1:03:04 Drew I was reading some stuff and I don't get it at all. 1860s. 1860s is about criminals. And they were saying, oh, yes, criminals always have tattoos.

1:03:11 The Bravery Yeah.

1:03:12 Drew It's part of criminal impulses.

1:03:14 Adam Oh, interesting.

1:03:15 Drew And that interesting that we've seen on this show is that people that need to tat their body up are usually because they've been physically abused or sexually abused or both.

1:03:22 Adam Yes.

1:03:22 The Bravery And I think people just do it because they think that it makes you look cool.

1:03:29 Drew Ask people who have a bunch of tats sometimes.

1:03:30 Adam Well, that's a bunch of tats.

1:03:32 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:03:33 Caller That's different. That's commitment. The commitment I respect. It's the girl with the lower back tattoo that we just need to get over that.

1:03:40 The Bravery Yeah, like when you walk into the place and you pick a tattoo from the wall of tattoos.

1:03:46 Caller Right.

1:03:47 The Bravery Then you're not getting it for the image at all. You're getting it because you want to have a tattoo for some reason. Like you think it makes you look tough or something. Like Lindsay, is she still there?

1:03:56 Caller Yeah.

1:03:57 The Bravery Why do you want to... Obviously the Buddha is probably not that important to you. Like why do you want to have a tattoo?

1:04:02 Caller Because it's not religious, the Buddha. That's what she wants it.

1:04:05 Adam And by the way, the Buddha is the kind of thing where people aren't going to know what it is in a few years. They're going to be like, oh, you got Felix the Cat? No, no. Figaro?

1:04:14 Drew Figaro the Cat?

1:04:14 Adam No, that's Buddha.

1:04:16 The Bravery Wait, how come you want to have a tattoo?

1:04:19 Caller I just thought it'd be kind of fun to do one with my friend. And I don't know, just something to do that would be, for me, kind of a rebellious type thing.

1:04:29 The Bravery All right.

1:04:30 Adam You kids want to rebel? How about driving through some of those left turn red arrows? How about you tell the man to kiss your ass that way instead of pay some guy 50 bucks to put a little art on your cheek?

1:04:40 Caller I do drive through the left turn red arrows.

1:04:42 Adam Good girl. Make sure it's safe and then do it.

1:04:45 The Bravery All right.

1:04:46 Adam Look, here's what girls need to hear from guys, especially guys from bands, because I know we're the man, but The Bravery certainly does not represent the man. A tat never did anything to help a woman in the looks or attractiveness department.

1:05:04 The Bravery I have to kind of disagree with that. I mean, I know I'm sounding critical.

1:05:09 Adam You really are. You're contradicting yourself.

1:05:12 The Bravery But I definitely...

1:05:13 Adam Go ahead.

1:05:14 The Bravery Back me up. Once in a while, there's like a sexy tattoo.

1:05:16 Caller If you get the like super crazy Japanese back tattoos and they can kind of like...

1:05:21 The Bravery Yeah, it can be hot.

1:05:22 Caller Make the waves kind of crash over there.

1:05:25 Adam It lets you know they're open for business. But has it ever made a woman more sort of physically attractive?

1:05:31 The Bravery I'll put it to you this way. I've never been into a girl because of her tattoo. Like it would never make or break the deal.

1:05:37 Caller Well, let me make this point and maybe Dr. Drew can back me up. They say girls who smoke are like, I don't know, a million times more promiscuous than the ones that don't. I think the same is true for tattoos. So maybe they're trying to put something out.

1:05:51 Drew Definitely people are putting something out. They're telling you they're open for business.

1:05:55 Adam Yeah.

1:05:55 Drew But you guys want to get over the one at the base of the back.

1:05:58 Caller Yeah, the lower back.

1:05:59 Drew But you want a huge back tattoo instead.

1:06:01 The Bravery No, I think the one at the base of the back.

1:06:03 Caller I said I was into commitment.

1:06:04 Drew Right, right.

1:06:05 Caller If you're going to do it, like do it. Don't just...

1:06:08 The Bravery But get a tattoo that if it actually means something to you, like if it's actually an important thing to you, don't just get it for the sake of getting it. Because it's the least rebellious thing you can do. Everybody gets a tattoo. Yeah. It's like if you're a girl piercing your bellybutton.

1:06:23 Caller Yeah, the cool thing is to not get a tattoo. It's like, oh my god, I met this chick and she doesn't have a tattoo. She's punk rock.

1:06:30 Adam Yeah, I'm just saying we've all met hot chicks with tattoos who would be just as hot minus the tattoo. Like once in a while you go, oh no, there's this chick who's totally smoking and she's got a tattoo. Look, you put a little piece of gaffer's tape over the tattoo, you still want a boner.

1:06:45 The Bravery All I'm saying is I have seen tattoos that did actually work, that were kind of hot.

1:06:50 Caller But in 10 years they might not be very hot.

1:06:53 The Bravery And not worth it, yeah.

1:06:54 Adam Yeah, and it should get something that means something to you. Like Drew has a zigzag man on his right nut.

1:07:00 Drew Left nut.

1:07:01 Adam Left nut, sorry, but when I'm facing you.

1:07:03 Drew Yeah, you're right.

1:07:04 Adam Yeah, it's my right. Chuck?

1:07:07 Yeah.

1:07:08 Adam You're 25?

1:07:09 Caller Yes.

1:07:10 Adam What's up?

1:07:11 Caller All right, I got a kind of awkward question, but I figured you're the best people to ask. I was at a bachelor party about two weeks ago and we were all getting drunk. We had some strippers over. It was a good time. And the strippers pulled out some lollipops. And one thing led to another, a lollipop ended up in my mouth after it was inside of her and not in her mouth.

1:07:33 Adam Right.

1:07:34 Caller I was curious, am I at any risk for getting anything?

1:07:38 Drew Yeah, you could be.

1:07:40 Adam Was she licensed? Was she bonded?

1:07:43 Caller Definitely bonded, but.

1:07:45 Adam Yeah, this is I've seen this done before.

1:07:50 Drew Does it have a name?

1:07:51 Adam I just called a telly like a telly Savalas.

1:07:54 Drew I see a telly.

1:07:55 Adam Pulling a telly. But it's one of these things where once in a while guys get caught in these horrible positions at bachelor parties because they're drunk and their spear pressure is like, OK, and then once in a while the really skanky strippers like, all right, lie down and I'm going to pour. I'm going to pour goat's milk down my face, going to drip off my vulva. And you're like, you want to go like, uh, yeah, go ahead and pass on this one. But all the guys are screaming and you have to act like, all right, that's hot. You have to go do it.

1:08:24 Caller Well, the weird thing is she, I was kind of into it because she used to ride my school bus in middle school.

1:08:30 Oh, really?

1:08:32 Adam That's different.

1:08:34 Caller It was actually kind of hot, but I mean, what was I going to do, spit out the lollipop and say no?

1:08:39 Adam And the symbolism of the lollipop too from the girl that he knew once went. She rode your, wait a minute, she rode your bus, but did she go to your school?

1:08:49 Caller Yeah, she went to my school.

1:08:50 Yeah.

1:08:51 The Bravery In middle school, so she was...

1:08:53 Adam You knew her in like the eighth grade?

1:08:55 Yeah, eighth grade through like eleventh grade.

1:08:59 Drew Hold on, so we're already in trouble then, right?

1:09:00 Adam Eighth grade through eleventh grade?

1:09:04 Yeah.

1:09:04 Adam Then she moved, there's something?

1:09:06 Caller No, I went to a different school after that.

1:09:08 Adam Oh, you got kicked out?

1:09:10 Caller Kind of, yeah.

1:09:11 Adam Okay, so you're a troublemaker too?

1:09:14 Caller Speaking of, I have tattoos and I think they're very sexy, by the way.

1:09:16 Adam Okay, I bet you think you're hot. So, you hate... But this is a chick you just recognize? I mean, obviously you didn't know her name, right? She used a different name.

1:09:27 Caller Yeah, she used a different name, but it's true. She came in and she recognized all of us. And she knew my one friend who was there, who was actually The Bachelor, and she was going nuts. She knew his wife-to-be, and she was kind of like, don't tell him about what's going on, and got a little crazy.

1:09:40 Adam Hold on. To me, I would have... For me, that's like Bachelor Party. It's time to call a timeout, like convene. Like, okay, what are the implications here? She knows the wife. We went to junior high. There's some serious pros and cons going on right now. We need to all just figure this out before the debauchery begins. It's like, this is hot because we haven't seen her since the ninth grade. On the other hand, she could squeal to the old lady. You know what I mean? I'd have to have a serious breakdown discussion to figure this one out.

1:10:11 Drew Doesn't sound good.

1:10:12 Adam I would say-

1:10:13 Caller Bail out, bail out.

1:10:14 Adam I would say go sick and then we kill her and throw her in the desert.

1:10:17 Drew Oh yeah.

1:10:18 Adam You know what I mean?

1:10:18 Drew I could see you going that way.

1:10:20 Adam Yeah, so that way. You know what I'm saying? This guy's kind of sort of win-win.

1:10:23 Drew To get back to his question. Yeah. Yeah, that is a way to transfer things, right? I mean, it's body fluid going into mucosal membrane on your side. So things like syphilis, ugonorrhea, chlamydia, herpes, all that could be transmitted. The pubic hair? Pubic hair, but not particularly likely. It's not like oral sex where you're getting direct contact, but it could be passed along. Yeah, things could be passed along.

1:10:49 Adam All right.

1:10:50 Drew It would be hard to get.

1:10:51 Adam Chuck, if you do actually, you're not going to get anything.

1:10:54 Drew Yeah, I can't imagine you get HIV or hepatitis or anything like that. Those are very difficult things to control.

1:10:58 Adam Yeah, if you do pick something up and you gotta go to the doctor, feel free to make something up. Try to salvage a little dignity. Say it was a gay trick that went bad or something. Not quite as humiliating as you pulling the telly. All right, buddy.

1:11:16 The Bravery Where are you from?

1:11:17 Caller Lancaster, Pennsylvania.

1:11:19 The Bravery Is this Chuck?

1:11:21 Caller Lancaster, Pennsylvania, in the middle of nowhere.

1:11:23 Drew It says Chuck.

1:11:24 Adam It's Chuck.

1:11:27 Caller If she had a tattoo on her back, then I think you're pretty much screwed, though.

1:11:31 Adam So, Drew, you don't know what goes on at these past four parties.

1:11:34 Drew No, and the more I hear about it, the more thankful I am that I don't, really.

1:11:37 Adam It is.

1:11:38 Caller It is.

1:11:38 Drew It sounds bad. It sounds like a corner of Hades. Like I would feel, yeah, I would feel guilty and dirty and uncomfortable the whole time.

1:11:44 Adam You would, except for you have such a boner and you're so drunk, it all melts away.

1:11:48 Drew Oh, I don't like that feeling. You know, I don't like that feeling. I feel like I'm doing something bad and wrong.

1:11:54 Adam That's what we're going for.

1:11:55 Drew I know that. I don't like that feeling. Anderson's into that feeling. I don't like that feeling.

1:12:00 Adam I'll tell you the part that's tough. The part that's tough is when the bachelor has been drinking way too much.

1:12:06 Drew Yeah.

1:12:06 Adam It's like I've been doing coke and drinking since 4 in the afternoon. It's now 2.30 in the morning and his pants are down. He's got that whiskey shlong going. He's sitting there and he's got 20 guys sitting there and his dork's never been smaller. You know what I mean?

1:12:21 Drew He gets oral sex in front of his friends?

1:12:23 Adam Anal.

1:12:25 Drew Anyway, I've got this show coming on Discovery Health Channel. Those of you.

1:12:28 Adam No, he doesn't get oral sex.

1:12:30 Drew Midnight. Those of you who are listening now and it's Wednesday night, turn your televisions on please.

1:12:35 Adam They will often times like, okay, who's getting the guy sloppy drunk and they'll like pull his pants down, start paddling him and stuff and the poor guy has got.

1:12:45 Drew You do what to him?

1:12:46 Adam Pull his pants down like they're paddling him and stuff like that. No, no. I'm just saying they will. Bachelor parties will run the gamut between fairly tamed to just all out pure debauchery, like get in the vice squad and shut this place down. Once in a while, the guy's pants come down and it's not flattering.

1:13:07 Drew I see.

1:13:07 Adam See what I'm saying?

1:13:08 Drew I see.

1:13:08 Adam It's got every dude he's known since high school standing there and he's sloppy drunk and he's got nothing in the wood department. That's all I'm saying. That's why I went with a prosthetic.

1:13:20 Drew But that's why you go there and laugh. Right? Get your yucks in.

1:13:26 Adam One guy got handcuffed to the chair and my buddy Ray hit his dong with a flashlight. All right, let's take a little break. The Bravery here tonight. Drew, have you ever been to a bachelor party with any of your Poindexter friends?

1:13:40 You pansy.

1:13:42 Caller So sad.

1:13:43 Adam We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:13:46 Caller Hello, is this your radio? Loveline will be right back.

1:14:21 Caller Crap, it feels like the show is.

1:14:22 Adam Hey everybody, just having a little talk. Bravery about the cars, who knew? We're gonna hear something off the newish CD. Also, a band gonna be on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno tonight. We will, Drew's Show, just look for Drew's Show. What'd you, everyone?

1:14:44 Drew Midnight, please.

1:14:45 Adam Just turn it on.

1:14:46 Drew Please help me out.

1:14:47 Adam All right, let's take a call. Let's see, went to a strip club, male co-worker, tell husband. Wait a minute, what is this? Take a call and then we'll hear another song from The Bravery. Shelly?

1:15:00 Caller Yes?

1:15:01 Drew Anything that starts out with strip club, you're taking.

1:15:03 Adam Yes. You're 22?

1:15:05 Caller I'm 22.

1:15:07 Adam And what happened?

1:15:08 Caller Well, it was my friend's birthday and so I told her I was gonna take her out. And so I was flying on going out Friday with my friend, Christie. And so I like invited some guys at work. I had gone out with this other guy before, gone to play pool with a bunch of other friends. And so I happened to ask this guy, he's like, Oh, on my birthday this weekend. And I was like, OK, you know, you want to go out? We'll go out for your birthday. And he's like, All right, we'll go to the strip club. And I was like, OK, you know, that sounds kind of interesting. I've never gone before. And I've asked my husband before and he'll never go with me. And so I kind of asked him jokingly around and I was like, honey, you want to go to the strip club with me? You know, some guys from work are going and he's like, no. And he's like, that would be awkward. And I'm like, OK. So I went anyway.

1:15:49 Adam Yeah. I think he had a point about going to a strip club with people from work and him and all that.

1:15:54 Caller Yeah. But even with her, it sounds like he didn't know that I was going with these other guys. He just said I was going with my friend Christy.

1:16:00 Adam Well, you said you were going with friends from work.

1:16:02 Caller I did. And like, he didn't really know that I went with these other guys. Like, he didn't know I went. Like, I haven't told him. And I didn't come home until like seven in the morning.

1:16:11 Drew Uh-oh. What happened there?

1:16:13 Adam Well, hold on. What is he doing that when you say, I'm going to go to strip club with some folks from work, and then you come home at seven in the morning, Ray doesn't catch on to that.

1:16:23 Drew He doesn't raise an eyebrow about that?

1:16:24 Caller Well, he told me, like at six, and I told him I'd fallen asleep at my friend's house. But I was actually over it. The guys, like a bunch of us, like we're really drunk. And so we went over to his house and watched a movie so I could sober up, because I couldn't drive. But he couldn't tell my husband that I was over at this other guy's house.

1:16:42 Drew What'd you do there?

1:16:43 Caller Huh?

1:16:44 Drew What'd you do at the guy's house?

1:16:45 Adam Remember that thing with the lollipop?

1:16:47 Caller Yeah.

1:16:49 Caller No, I actually thought about it, and that's the bad thing. It's like I've been married for years.

1:16:53 Adam You thought about it.

1:16:55 Caller You thought.

1:16:56 Adam Yeah, you were drunk.

1:16:56 All right, so you were. Married for how long?

1:16:59 Caller What?

1:17:00 Drew Married for how long?

1:17:01 Caller For three years.

1:17:02 Adam Three years.

1:17:02 Drew Why is you married at 19? Maybe that's what this is all about.

1:17:05 Caller I have two kids, and my first one is actually not his, and then my second one is.

1:17:11 Adam First off, you sound like a wonderful mother.

1:17:12 Drew This is a good question.

1:17:13 Adam Talk about role model.

1:17:14 Caller I'm a good mom. I work, and my husband goes to school, so I actually support him, and I'm supporting my family, and I make pretty good money. I work at a law firm, so.

1:17:23 Adam Yeah, what school does your husband attend? Pee Whip Academy? Drew, is there such a place?

1:17:30 Drew Pee Whip U.

1:17:31 Caller To be a mechanic.

1:17:32 Adam Yeah, right next to Surfboarding School.

1:17:35 Caller This guy's going to school. This guy's good.

1:17:37 Adam Going to school to be a mechanic.

1:17:38 Caller Yeah, he's actually going to, I don't know, build cars or something, but.

1:17:43 Adam Yeah, right. No, that's just being a mechanic.

1:17:46 Caller I make pretty good money, so.

1:17:47 You make good money.

1:17:48 Adam All right, so listen, Shelly. Okay, let me explain what's going on here. All right, stop me if I'm wrong.

1:17:54 Drew Yes.

1:17:55 Adam You got married early.

1:17:56 Drew Too early.

1:17:57 Adam Too early. You're cute. You're fun. You have a couple of kids and you got married early, and you're sort of overcompensating a little trying to recapture your youth because you're smack dab in the middle of your youth.

1:18:08 Drew Right.

1:18:09 Adam Which is weird when you're attempting to recapture something you're in the middle of.

1:18:13 Drew And she's in the workforce and she's got a husband who's a student still, and is going to be a mechanic and she's around lawyers all the time.

1:18:18 Adam This guy's a little boring. This guy's a little low key. And what this guy's attempting to do, I would say, is he understands he's got a little bit of a wild child here. And he's like trying to sort of throw a little wet blanket on your flame. And I don't mean that in a bad way. He's saying, listen, I'm not, no, I'm not going to, you want to go get wild, you want to go to the whatever, I'm not going with you.

1:18:41 Drew Right, he doesn't sort of endorse it, he doesn't fuel it. This whole point, Shelly, is that you're the one that needs containment.

1:18:49 Adam And he probably...

1:18:51 Caller He does go without me, like he goes...

1:18:53 Drew You, Shelly, you, you, Shelly.

1:18:57 Adam Listen, name one airplane from World War II. Just one.

1:19:02 Caller I can't.

1:19:03 Adam Cargo, fighter.

1:19:04 Drew Veal or venison, what's veal?

1:19:07 Caller What?

1:19:08 Adam Okay, here's the point, Shelly. Your husband realizes he's got a little bit of a nutty broad, he's got a little bit of energy, right?

1:19:18 Caller Yeah.

1:19:18 Adam Yes, and he's trying to reel you in a little bit. Have you ever thought about a threesome or anything with him?

1:19:24 Caller Well, I have, but he won't.

1:19:26 Drew Oh boy, Shelly.

1:19:27 Caller Hold on a second.

1:19:28 Adam It was a huge. The threesome thing was like hitting me on the head with a snow shovel since she came on the line. He's saying, what it is is here's what it is. She probably got abused. Yes, for sure. Some little sexual abuse from stepdad or whatever. Now she's acting out. He is like trying to contain her, look, we got kids. No, I'm not doing the threesome because the thing about the threesome is cool as that might be for the night. The relationship is going to come unravel. And he knows it on some level. And the same with the strip club thing. And all these things are sort of traps that seem very tempting. You want to go to the strip club? Yeah, you're going to get loaded. You're going to get on top of some chick. We're going to get into an argument and we're going to get a divorce. And the kids are going to go live at grandma's house.

1:20:11 Drew Right.

1:20:12 Adam And I think he feels that and we feel her crazy energy.

1:20:15 Caller So I think this guy is pretty slick, correct me if I'm wrong, but he got her to marry him when she's 19 with his kid and not even hers.

1:20:23 Adam I think that's her kid.

1:20:24 Drew It's her kid.

1:20:25 Caller No, no, the first, second one's her kid.

1:20:26 Drew No, no, first one's hers with a different guy.

1:20:30 Caller Yeah.

1:20:30 Caller Is that correct?

1:20:32 Drew So who abused you growing up?

1:20:33 Adam You're chaotic, Shelly.

1:20:34 Drew This is a really bad thing.

1:20:35 Caller I was not abused growing up, but I was sexually active at a young age.

1:20:39 Drew How old?

1:20:40 Caller Let's see.

1:20:41 Drew How old? Okay. That's the person you were sexual with.

1:20:46 Caller How old was he?

1:20:47 Drew Yeah.

1:20:48 Adam Well, let's see. My dad's sixty-three now. So how old was he then?

1:20:51 Caller He was sixteen.

1:20:55 Adam And where's your dad? Did he was an alcoholic? Did he abandon the family?

1:20:59 Caller Yes.

1:21:00 Drew All right. That's what we're saying. That's trauma.

1:21:02 Caller I like I try to tell me that I'm sexual and I like to be sexual and I try to be.

1:21:08 Adam You're not horny. You're nutty.

1:21:09 Drew You're chaotic.

1:21:10 Adam You're chaotic. And it just manifests itself in horny.

1:21:15 Drew And this may be in addition to being sort of a character logic thing, there may be bipolarity. Is there bipolar in your family too?

1:21:21 Caller No.

1:21:22 Drew Okay. But there's alcoholism or addiction.

1:21:23 Caller Alcoholism.

1:21:24 Drew Yeah.

1:21:25 Adam All right. And when did your dad cut out?

1:21:27 Caller When I was three. When my life tell, I was probably thirteen and then.

1:21:32 Drew What were the step dads like?

1:21:35 Caller Every other week.

1:21:37 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

1:21:38 Caller But none of them ever like did anything to us. But my mom.

1:21:40 Adam No. But your mom, your mom was chaotic and set a bad example and hopped from man to man and did all that crap too.

1:21:47 Drew Yeah.

1:21:47 Caller I don't want to do that. Like I want to.

1:21:48 Drew Well, well, you then stop doing what you're doing. Stop it. Stop it. You're setting that up. You're hell bent on sabotaging this marriage.

1:21:55 Caller See, that's what I'm afraid of. Like I'm saying, like, well, can my mom got divorced when I was? Yeah.

1:22:00 Adam Yeah. Listen, look, Shelly, Shelly, listen to me. Your family is white trash. They're chaotic mess. Your mom crapped out a bunch of kids, had a whole bunch of guys, boyfriends swing by the pad, expose the kids to God knows what. And you started acting out early and often. Now, magically, you got a kid, dad's down the road.

1:22:20 Drew Magically, she's three.

1:22:21 Adam You got another kid who is in danger of losing his or her father because you're acting out. You're just doing what your mom did. How about you smarten up, you get some therapy, you stop acting out, and you break this cycle so your kids stand a chance.

1:22:37 Caller But the thing is, I'm not even sure if I want to be married. We've been together since we were like-

1:22:41 Drew Well, it's Shelley Luck.

1:22:42 Adam All right, well then-

1:22:42 Caller I was in high school and I just feel like we've grown apart. Like, I hate drugs and I don't like drugs.

1:22:46 Adam Do me a favor then. Have your tubes tied, would you please? Send the kids to-

1:22:51 Drew Good, she did, excellent. Oh, good, oh good.

1:22:53 Adam Now, next step, send the kids to surf boarding school in Maui and give them a chance-

1:22:58 The Bravery Get them educated.

1:22:59 Adam Get them educated on not only trade winds, but currents and discipline.

1:23:05 Drew Sea life.

1:23:05 Caller Is there like any way to get my husband to be more interested in me?

1:23:08 Drew No, Shelly, look.

1:23:09 Caller I think I'm pretty hot.

1:23:10 Drew Shelly, Shelly.

1:23:11 Caller I get lost like twice a week.

1:23:13 Drew Shelly, therapy, therapy, therapy.

1:23:14 Adam You're crazy, you're acting out and you're freaking him out. He sees, when he looks at you, he just sees a giant pecan nut. That's all he does with legs sticking out. Nut bar. Shelly, you want to F your kids up as badly as you got F'd up? Is that your goal? Listen to me.

1:23:35 Drew Loving your kids has nothing to do with it.

1:23:37 Adam I hate to sound all preachy here. Loving your kids doesn't mean anything. The chick who killed her five kids in the bathtub loved her kids too much. Loving your kids is a BS excuse that everyone so conveniently uses. You're screwing your kids up. I'm sure you love them. Now, F them up. Do something about it, would you? You're, listen, Shelley, you're just, just luck.

1:24:00 Drew Let me just state it.

1:24:00 Adam No, I don't care. Listen, Shelley, you had your tubes tied. Do you have a girl? I have a girl on the board. Have her tubes tied, that's it. And then do whatever the F you want. That's all. I'm not in damage control.

1:24:12 Drew Whatever happens in childhood, particularly things that are traumatizing and are excessively chaotic, gets acted out in young adult life that becomes our source of attraction. We act on the cycle that we do. It's wired into our brains.

1:24:24 Adam But Drew, she's just, she's amorous. She's horny.

1:24:27 The Bravery She just wants to have fun. Do you think that no matter what guy she's with, she'll act that way?

1:24:31 Adam Yes.

1:24:32 Drew Well, she'll have a series of guys. Just one after the other sabotage. She can't, she can't be close to a male. And that's what has to work out in therapy.

1:24:37 Adam She's a mess. It's just the kids that we have to deal with later on in life. And I'm serious. These, we got to deal with them. These are the, these are, we got to have the clinics. We got to have the prisons. We got to have the welfare. We got to have all the systems in place for the kids of Young Shelly who we're going to have to deal with. Daughter's going to be pregnant at 15, so on and so forth. That's the way it goes, everybody.

1:25:02 The Bravery Should she make it a priority to stick with her husband?

1:25:07 Drew She won't do it, not without treatment.

1:25:09 The Bravery No, she's, she's, her advice would be to her that she should She's got to get treatment.

1:25:14 Adam She's got to sabotage, going to be done. And now magically she'll have two kids with no dad around.

1:25:19 Drew Right. At the same age, at three.

1:25:21 Adam We've been playing a Bravery song for about an hour. No, I can't do it yet, because Drew, you're getting all preachy tonight. That's all.

1:25:31 Drew I'll get down.

1:25:31 Adam All right, when we come back, your song for the Bravery, yes?

1:25:34 Drew Yes.

1:25:34 Adam All right, after this.

1:25:36 Caller Hello, this is your radio. Love Line will be right back.

1:26:05 Adam The bravery in studio tonight. We, they've been good soldiers. Drew's had a NAS full tonight.

1:26:13 Drew I'm just worried about my show, which people need to tune in Discovery Health Show.

1:26:18 Adam What a shock that you're worried about something, Drew.

1:26:20 Drew I know. I don't seem like that kind of guy, do I?

1:26:22 Adam Please, everyone. Drew has three children. They're all enrolled in what academy, Drew?

1:26:27 Drew The Lord of Fountain Leroy School of Biophilics.

1:26:30 Adam That's right, which runs you more than surfboarding school.

1:26:34 Drew It's pretty close.

1:26:35 Adam It's comparable.

1:26:36 Drew They get a travel expense at surfboarding school.

1:26:38 Adam Yeah. And those kids. And then college. What's college? Seriously, per puss, how much?

1:26:44 Drew If they go to private school.

1:26:46 Adam Private college.

1:26:46 Drew Private college. By the time my kids are 18, they're predicting about $300,000.

1:26:50 Adam $300,000?

1:26:51 Drew That's their prediction.

1:26:52 Adam That says for four years.

1:26:53 The Bravery Yeah.

1:26:54 Adam That's their bachelors.

1:26:55 Drew Wow.

1:26:56 Adam Yeah. Wow. 300 p's. So you got, so it's about a million bucks. You got the three kids, right?

1:27:01 Caller Right.

1:27:01 Adam And then what do you figure for rehab? Eating disorders, methadone, stuff like that. Drive them nuts.

1:27:08 Caller All right.

1:27:09 Adam Let's hear a little something from The Bravery. They've been sitting here listening to me yapp off all night. They keep promising to play a song. And they never do. But now we're going to start. You ready, everyone? This one is called Fearless. On The Minority, yes, thank you. I'm just gonna open, I'm just on these Jim Jones type rants in here. I'm just gonna buy some land in French Guiana, move everyone there. Come on, let's go, let's go. No red arrows, no screwed up moms, let's do it, everyone. Yes, that is The Bravery going out on tour soon and going to be on The Tonight Show tonight with Jay Leno. Take ourselves a quick.

1:30:55 Drew Oh, really? Now we can take a call.

1:30:56 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right, you're right. Right, who's going to hold the longest? Yeah?

1:31:01 Drew The one I've got.

1:31:01 Adam Wow, through, look at you. Jason?

1:31:04 Caller Hey.

1:31:05 Adam 25?

1:31:06 Caller Yeah.

1:31:07 Adam Girlfriend has warts?

1:31:09 Well, I met this girl and she just told me that-

1:31:13 Adam Boring.

1:31:14 Caller Oh, come on.

1:31:15 Drew She told you what?

1:31:17 Caller She told me that she has HPV.

1:31:20 Drew Right, right.

1:31:20 Caller But she said that her last outbreak was, I think, like five years ago.

1:31:24 Drew Oh, that's interesting.

1:31:26 Adam They do burn themselves out now.

1:31:27 Drew Some of them do burn themselves out and five years is about the duration after which they tend to sort of disappear. Some of them.

1:31:33 Adam Yeah.

1:31:33 Drew Some do persist and those are the ones that are associated with cervical cancer. You might ask her whether she's really had a severely abnormal pap smear or not. If not-

1:31:41 Adam It's going to be love.

1:31:42 Drew That's going to be love with pillow talk. Yeah. So any dysplasia?

1:31:46 Adam Yeah. Can I see your slides? Any cancer cells?

1:31:50 Drew Yes. Any squamous abnormalities. Anyway, the fact is that it may be limited to very little or none, but there's always a possibility she still has the virus around. And if she has it, you will contract it.

1:32:02 Adam Let me tell you about wart days or years since last wart breakout, by the way. You have to do a sort of different kind of math that we do. It's like the math you do when a chick's telling you how much she weighs on the internet, but it's the exact opposite.

1:32:18 Drew So she's either shortening the time.

1:32:20 Adam Yes. On the internet, go ahead and double whatever it is. This, cut it in half.

1:32:24 Drew So if she says five years, she means two and a half.

1:32:26 Adam That's what I'm saying.

1:32:27 Drew And wear a condom that reduces your risk of...

1:32:29 Adam I got a laminated thing. I keep my wallet that can help you out.

1:32:32 Caller A little conversion scale?

1:32:33 Adam It's a conversion scale. That's nice.

1:32:37 Drew What's that you're doing?

1:32:37 Adam Hold on. It can get confusing when they combine them. Like you're talking to a chick on the internet who has warts. And she's like, well, I'm 141 pounds and I've been herpy. I've been wart free for five years. Oh, hold on. Hold on. Sliding it down.

1:32:52 Drew They might use the metric. I mean, come on.

1:32:54 Right. All right.

1:32:55 Adam I don't know what Jason's follow up was, but we answered his first one. And that's good enough for me to sleep tonight. We'll take a quick break. Be right back after this.

1:33:03 Caller Hello. This is your radio.

1:33:09 Drew Live on O5.

1:33:27 Adam That's the show, I want to thank The Bravery for coming in here tonight. God bless The Bravery.

1:33:32 Drew I want people to please turn into my Discovery Help channel show, right now, midnight.

1:33:36 Caller I'm gonna discover that later.

1:33:37 Drew Thank you.

1:33:38 The Bravery We'll be tuning in.

1:33:39 Adam And they're gonna be on The Tonight Show at Tonight with Jay Leno.

1:33:43 The Bravery In literally like 15 minutes.

1:33:46 Adam Yeah.

1:33:46 Drew Literally.

1:33:46 Adam Poise yourself, crack a beer, and assume the position, the position to be rocked, that is.

1:33:54 The Bravery What is that position, by the way?

1:33:55 Caller I'll show it to you during this first break here.

1:33:58 Adam In the Offspring, our good old friends, the Offspring are coming in Thursday night.

1:34:02 Drew Maybe we'll go flying finally.

1:34:04 Adam Oh, Dexter.

1:34:05 Caller Yeah.

1:34:06 Adam He keeps wanting to take me up in his jet.

1:34:08 Drew One of his jets.

1:34:09 Adam There's multiple jets. I think he flies them simultaneously, too. He has that other one.

1:34:13 The Bravery Kind of like when John plays keyboards.

1:34:15 Adam Yeah, yeah.

1:34:16 The Bravery Yeah.

1:34:16 Adam But no, no, but lower. One's gotta be lower. All right. We'll take a little extend. No break. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:34:26 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, June 7, 2005