Episode 1000711913951

0:57 Voiceover Love Line is meant for an adult audience.

1:01 Voiceover Love Line may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

1:13 Voiceover This is Loveline.

1:17 Voiceover With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:20 Hey, everybody.

1:22 Adam It's Loveline. I'm the level-headed Adam Carolla. That's the pompous and out-of-control Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1-er, Dr. Drew, board-certified physician, addiction medicine specialist, man of passion, and a sensual man.

1:40 Drew Oh, yes, that's me.

1:41 Adam A man of great sensuality.

1:42 Drew Yes, indeed.

1:43 Adam Exquisite sensuality. What's up?

1:46 Drew You cool? I'm cool.

1:47 Adam Get some phone calls.

1:49 Drew Oh, I got to beg everybody to watch my show on Discovery Health. Nine and Midnight on the West Coast. I think just Midnight on the East.

1:55 Adam Nine and Midnight.

1:56 Drew 11 in Chicago. Check your local listing. Discovery Health Channel, Wednesday night.

2:00 Adam See what Drew finally looks like.

2:01 Drew Yeah.

2:02 Adam A lot of you who have been listening to the show, ugh, spelt your little taco, have no idea what Dr. Drew looks like.

2:09 Drew I've got a little hot sauce on there, too.

2:10 Adam Yeah, I got a little, let me tell you something.

2:12 Drew Conte, ooh.

2:13 Caller Oh, yeah.

2:16 Adam Nothing wrong with that, Drew. Aaron?

2:20 Drew Yes.

2:22 Yes.

2:23 Adam What's up, Buckaroo?

2:24 Adam.

2:26 Corolla.

2:27 Excellent. Thanks, guys, for taking my call. I have a quick question. Last night, I was having intercourse with my wonderful girlfriend, and I think I might have snapped my penis.

2:38 Adam Snapped it. Yeah, it popped. Drew, I can't, oh, you weren't on your mic.

2:41 Drew It snapped it.

2:42 Adam Yeah, it made that pop sound.

2:46 Drew Popping sound. Yeah, but sometimes when it did it curve or have an abnormal shape to it when you looked at it afterwards?

2:52 It didn't, and it actually stayed erect.

2:55 Drew Did the popping sound occur where it attaches to the body?

2:59 I think it did, but I'm not sure.

3:01 Adam Yeah, for me, that's the entire penis.

3:04 Drew Yeah, the little part where it attaches.

3:06 Adam The whole penis is the part where it attaches to the body. It's like a tree that falls over and says, what part of it is touching the ground? The ground, yeah.

3:17 Drew The whole thing. All of it. All of it. That's a shame.

3:19 Adam What part of the gum is on the sidewalk?

3:21 Drew Yeah.

3:22 Adam It's all on the sidewalk.

3:24 Drew The silly putty, whatever.

3:27 Adam Yeah, that pop, I used to be able to do that pop.

3:29 Drew There's three pops. There's the pop of cracking the suspensory ligament just like a knuckle, which is what Adam does in his moment of glory.

3:36 Adam I can.

3:37 Drew Yeah. There is the pop when the suspensory ligament tears, and there's a pop when you actually fracture the corpus cavernous body that the penis uses to retain the blood.

3:49 Adam I would imagine that's not a knuckle type pop.

3:52 Drew Well, strangely enough, I did a piece on this for this Discovery Health Channel show.

3:56 Adam Wednesday night.

3:57 Drew Wednesday night, 9 o'clock, midnight. This guy was having sex, and he pulled out and went back in, and they heard this huge pop. It didn't hurt at first. And he went and looked down.

4:06 Adam Yeah, but nothing, you know.

4:07 Drew Yeah, yeah, and football, right.

4:09 Adam No, no, it's like this wartime story when a guy feels something warm on his forehead, and it turns out it was his blood coming down. He had a four-inch piece of shrapnel on his skull. That's what it's like when you're having sex.

4:20 It's like it's war in that head, right?

4:21 Drew You wear your kneecaps off, and you would never know.

4:23 Adam Yeah, you don't feel anything.

4:24 Drew Right, except where the action is. And anyway, he looked down, and this is what he saw. Like an L, bent penis.

4:29 Adam Dog leg.

4:30 Drew And his wife freaked out. This is a hockey stick, actually, he said. And she went, oh my god, you go to the hospital. Of course, the guy.

4:36 Adam You got to finish. The guy's like, mm, start sucking, I'll think about it.

4:42 Drew No, no. So he goes in the bathroom, kind of like regroups.

4:46 Adam Takes a needle.

4:47 Drew And the thing shrinks down, it becomes no longer erect. But then the blood starts getting out of the cavernous body, and the thing gets to be the size of like a paint can.

4:55 Adam And then it was time for round two.

4:56 Drew But it's two inches tall. Just a round, flat thing, and purple. That's when it went to the emergency room.

5:02 Adam Well, the pop at the base is actually feels good, sort of like cracking your knuckles.

5:09 Yeah, it kind of freaked me out. It didn't look like a paint can afterwards, and was able to finish it.

5:15 Adam That was yesterday?

5:16 That was yesterday, and today it's just kind of been sore all day.

5:20 Drew You were able to get erections today?

5:22 Haven't tried yet. That was part of my question.

5:24 Adam Give it a try.

5:25 Drew Give it a try. Sometimes if there's a problem, you'll get like a little blub, like a tire, you know, with a blub on it.

5:31 Adam Well, it would be discolored if something was...

5:34 Drew Yeah, discolored and certainly rough deformed. Yes, and sort of the direction will be towards Mecca then.

5:39 Adam All right. What are we in? June? What's the date?

5:41 Drew Yeah.

5:42 Adam June 6th? Chris, you find out whether you're graduating or not? Yeah, it's coming up in like a week or something.

5:50 Find out tomorrow?

5:52 Adam We have a final tomorrow.

5:53 Drew Chris is sick. He can't even reach the mic.

5:55 Adam Sorry, buddy.

5:55 Drew And feel good.

5:56 Adam And that's a blessing.

5:57 Drew He doesn't want to talk to you.

5:58 Adam That's OK. He's disgusting to you.

6:00 Drew You're disgusting to him. He's going to vomit on you.

6:02 Adam Well, graduation is in a couple of maybe a week.

6:06 Drew Yeah. And I think it's probably tomorrow or the next day.

6:09 Adam Oh, it's coming up next couple of days. Usually I went to, you know, when I went to, you know, high school, it was like June 14th, June 15th. I'm saying I got plans for this kid if we're graduating.

6:21 Drew The big party.

6:22 Adam We're going out. Yeah. We're going out on the county line.

6:24 Drew Oh, nice.

6:25 Adam Oh, yeah.

6:26 Drew Chris, are you ready for that?

6:28 Adam That'll be cool. Yeah. I bet that is if you're graduating. I just I got to know because I'm very excited about this. I find out if I pull out, I got to get if I don't get more in a week's notice, I lose my deposit on the room. We're over at Whiskey Pete's.

6:40 Caller Oh, yeah.

6:41 Drew Well, here's the thing. I have a final on Wednesday and then he has to pass that.

6:45 Caller Yeah, I guess.

6:46 Drew All right.

6:46 Adam Well, you got it. That's in the one class, right?

6:49 Caller Yeah. All right.

6:51 Adam Well, the good news is, is you can focus on that final.

6:54 Drew Yeah, nothing else distracting.

6:55 Adam It's distracting. OK. All right. Just tell me. I don't want to lose my deposit. I'll tell you. All right. Yeah, we're heading. We're heading out of town. We're going to we're going to swing by the bun boy. Get ourselves a burger. Then it's the great Greek. And then we're going right to Whiskey Pete's, the county line. So it's a state line.

7:13 Drew State line.

7:13 Adam I was going to say, yeah, yeah, state line. Yeah, it's gonna be awesome. All right. I guess it's the county and the state line. And if you live in like Perum, San Bernardino. Where are we, Drew? Line 4?

7:24 Drew Yeah.

7:24 Adam Rachel.

7:25 Hi.

7:26 Adam You're 14?

7:27 Caller Yeah.

7:28 Adam What's up?

7:30 Caller I was just wondering, I'm bi. And I'm wondering if I should tell my boyfriend or not. Cause I don't want to lie to him, but he seems a little freaked out by my friends that are bi.

7:40 Drew How could you, you're 14. How do you know what you are?

7:45 Caller I have a girlfriend.

7:48 Drew Well, then why do you have a boyfriend?

7:50 Adam Cause she's bi, Drew. Yes?

7:54 Caller Yeah.

7:55 Drew You just don't believe in monogamy?

7:58 Caller Well, I didn't say that.

8:00 Adam Are you in love with either one of these folks?

8:02 Caller Yes, I am.

8:04 Adam Which one?

8:06 Caller I really care for them both a lot.

8:08 Drew Which one?

8:09 Adam Which one though?

8:12 Caller Well, I mean...

8:13 Drew How would you feel if he had a girlfriend and she had a boyfriend?

8:18 Caller She does have a boyfriend.

8:19 Drew How do you feel about that?

8:21 Caller I'm fine with it.

8:26 Adam So what happened to you? Molestation, physical abuse, all of the above. What's that?

8:33 Caller All of the above.

8:35 Drew You understand your behavior is not... It suggests all that, right?

8:40 Caller Yeah.

8:40 Drew Yeah. That's where that comes from. That's why people are a little freaked out by that behavior because they know that something happened to you that made you that way.

8:48 Adam Yeah. You know, it's a weird thing. Hold on a second. Let's talk about this. It's interesting how people work, which is people are pretty instinctive, and they're sort of animalistic in a lot of ways. It's hard to get rid of that part where you take a dump and then look back and admire your handiwork.

9:07 Drew Yeah.

9:07 Adam It's built in. I imagine it's there because you're looking for signs of illness or sickness or seeds or, I don't know what the hell it is, but I just stand there like I'm staring into an aquarium.

9:21 Drew Reading tea leaves.

9:22 Adam Yeah, for hours every night.

9:24 Drew Oh my God.

9:25 Adam It's like I'm flying over the Battle of Midway.

9:27 Drew I wonder what you did.

9:28 Adam And a surveillance plane.

9:28 Drew What you did every night before you went to bed.

9:30 Adam Yeah, it's just stare at my own fecal matter. But there's certain things we do that modern society has not bred out of us.

9:38 Drew Yes, cool. Many things.

9:40 Adam Almost everything. Now the part where we sort of look out for ourselves and sit down everybody, profile, we can't help. We profile when we see dogs that look mean and we profile when we see people that look angry and we profile when we see people that look F'd up or act F'd up and we react to it and we say, you know, society beats it into us, you know, don't judge a book by its cover, don't profile, no snap decisions, no snap judgments, but we can't help it. So when we see someone who's 14 and announces the world they're bi or has a bunch of aggressive piercings or tattoos, there's a part of us that's a million years old that goes, uh-oh, trouble, trouble, some trouble. Not judging, see that's what we, that's what they want us to think we're doing. The society wants us to think, oh, you're judging. No, no, not judging, reacting.

10:35 Drew Yeah, it's a scale of fear.

10:36 Adam Reacting to something. When I see a dog that's greasy and it's tails tucked in and it's walking sideways and the hair sticking up on its back, am I judging? I'm not judging, I'm reacting.

10:48 Drew Right. You're using your judgment to react, but you're not judging in some sort of critical way.

10:54 Adam Right. People don't realize. As you see a guy with eight foot worth of turban on him and wearing the sandals and the gown, sit next to you on the commercial air flight, you're sort of reacting. To ask you to not do that is to ask you not to be a human being. I think the same thing goes on with society and people like Rachael. You see them acting out and it's not that you don't like lesbians or bisexuality or that you're religious, or it's moral, it's just like this person's effed up. This person was physically abused, this person was sexually abused, and now you smell trouble. Yes.

11:30 Drew Also, when as you get old, you have a perspective too. It's like that's at 14, imagine that at 50. You may not live till see 50.

11:37 Adam Rachael.

11:38 Caller Yeah.

11:38 Adam How about you get some help for the abuse that you've suffered?

11:43 Caller I'm in therapy right now.

11:45 Adam Oh, good. All right. All right. And so your question is, scared to tell him, cause him to freak out.

11:51 Drew Yeah. The only thing that may freak him out is that you're not monogamous. You're hell bent on it being, oh, he doesn't like that I'm bi. He may just want you for himself, because that's a normal sort of an impulse.

12:03 Adam Do you, does he know you're bi?

12:07 No.

12:08 Caller He doesn't know, but his younger sister does know.

12:12 Adam Good. What is she, nine? It's perfect.

12:15 Caller She's 13.

12:16 Adam Take the little dollies, turn them in the 69 position, dry a race board, you turn the whole thing.

12:22 Drew Make sure she understands her fault.

12:23 Adam True. Well, Drew, when you're 14, if your girlfriend's like, I'm into chicks too, you wouldn't have known what to make of that, would you?

12:30 Drew No, by a fembond, my head would have been like, you just exploded.

12:36 Adam I mean, what would you even, like, you'd just be like, you wouldn't know what that meant.

12:39 Drew What do you mean?

12:41 Adam You don't, yeah, but.

12:43 Drew Wait, I thought we had something. That's cool, I'm cool, but.

12:45 Adam I didn't even know what that, well, I wouldn't know what to do with it.

12:48 Drew You get a little bit of like, I'm gonna kick her out. I'm gonna get her.

12:51 Adam Yeah. Hey, Rachel?

12:54 Yes.

12:55 Adam All right, so you're doing a little acting out. Yeah, don't get pregnant.

12:59 Drew Please.

13:01 Caller I'm not sexually active.

13:03 Adam You're fantastic, but you're still bi.

13:06 Caller Yes.

13:07 Adam Right. All right. All right. I'm looking to make the Pro Bowl this year, even though I'm not in the NFL. That's what that is. All right.

13:15 Caller Good.

13:16 Adam God bless you.

13:17 Drew Announce that to everybody, though, Adam. Please.

13:18 Adam Yeah, yeah, everyone.

13:19 Caller I'm looking.

13:20 Adam I need your vote.

13:21 Drew And start wearing like jerseys and things. Maybe walk around full of tire.

13:24 Adam Done and done.

13:24 Drew Put pads and everything.

13:26 Adam Rachel? Yes. Talk to your shrink. Ask your shrink what to do.

13:30 Drew Follow direction, all right? Follow direction.

13:35 Caller OK. All right.

13:37 Adam That worked. Ready to talk to Blaine? Blaine. Oh, I hate that name. Blaine?

13:44 Hello.

13:45 Adam You're 16?

13:46 Caller Yes.

13:47 Adam You're 16. You have trouble ejaculating?

13:51 Caller Yeah, ever since I started smoking weed about two months ago, girlfriend introduced me to it. And every time, you know, we try to have sex, I just can't ejaculate.

14:01 Drew When you've been smoking. It smells bogus.

14:03 Adam It smells very bogus. Insanely bogus.

14:07 Caller Yeah.

14:09 Adam Blaine? What? Yeah? Yes.

14:11 Drew Remember the International Convention on Bogosity.

14:13 Adam Yeah. Yes. Bogus, Blaine. This is bogus, Blaine.

14:20 Caller Okay.

14:21 Adam Okay.

14:22 Drew Thanks.

14:23 Adam If not. And by the way, very weak effort, Blaine.

14:28 Caller I'm sorry, Adam. You're a guy.

14:29 Adam There we go.

14:30 Drew Thank you. Thanks for coming clean with us. All right. Try again.

14:33 Adam Well, listen.

14:33 Drew Bring it back around.

14:34 Adam Let me explain something about bogus calls. It's there's a Geneva Convention. These are, we're gladiators. But when we're, but after the bell rings, after the 12th round, you know.

14:46 Drew We're friends.

14:47 Adam We're friends. And then gladiators again. That's how it works.

14:50 Drew So you can come back and get in the ring with us.

14:52 Adam You can come back and try again, but you have to be man enough to admit it when we bust you.

14:57 Drew Blaine was, here's the reason we know.

14:59 Adam He was the first friend. For knockout for us.

15:01 Drew Yeah. Here's the reason. A, that just doesn't happen.

15:04 Adam No.

15:04 Drew I mean, B.

15:05 Adam Girlfriend introduced me.

15:07 Drew Yeah. That's, that's also kind of shady. B, C, if, if you're having panic attacks or something, that sometimes happens in the pot.

15:13 Caller Yeah.

15:14 Drew If you've been smoking for years, that sometimes sort of happens.

15:17 Caller Yeah.

15:17 Adam Two months ago.

15:17 Drew And then, we'll see. Oh, and there was no question. It's like, I smoke weed, I can't ejaculate. Then don't smoke weed. And that's no question then.

15:26 Adam Right. All right. What about the medical marijuana, Drew? You've been hearing about that?

15:30 Drew Yeah, I did. I, the new sort of ruling was that the federal law nullifies the state, which everyone kind of knew was going to happen anyway.

15:40 Adam Yeah.

15:40 Drew The federal prevails. The fact that we can't use medical marijuana is bizarre. It's bizarre.

15:45 Adam Yeah.

15:45 Drew You know, it's, we live in a time, I can give morphine, I can give cocaine to people. Not you. Not you. But the point is, I can use far more addictive substances to people if it makes their life more bearable or if it helps them ease them through the dying process.

16:00 Adam Yeah.

16:01 Drew If this is a, if marijuana or some aspect of some cannabinoid helps them through dying, why do we have to withhold that from people?

16:07 Adam I don't know.

16:08 Drew It's amazing.

16:09 Adam The amount of conversations we have to have about nothing in this society, the amount of arguments and debates, the amount of trees cut down, the amount of paper produced for these things. The idea that there's men all wearing $1,000 suits, there's 800 of them, they're all sitting in a room, everyone's making more than $150,000 a year, and they spend countless, countless hours arguing about this is the part that drives me insane. This, the, just what we need to, what we do in this society. Meanwhile, you know, there's teen pregnancy and terrorists and all kinds of stuff like that, and we're arguing over legalizing or medical marijuana. This has been going on for 40 years, by the way. I mean, we're now literally going to be celebrating like the 40th anniversary of people trying to get pot to be legalized. Here's the thing. There's no one I know who smokes pot that can't find pot. That's number one. Number two, we all have the opportunity to basically spin out at any time, at any moment on anything. I mean, we have to make that decision every day. I have enough booze in my house to kill a rhinoceros. I could go home and drink it all tonight, or I could break it off in the quarters, which is what I do. I actually play, no, not the fraction. I play quarters. No, I have enough food in my refrigerator to eat myself right out of show business and on the morning radio. The point is, is I have a car that'll go 185 miles an hour and I could attempt to do that on the way home in a 55 and end up in a fireball. There are many things, of firearms. We could do it all. We could do it all. At a certain point, a certain percentage of society is going to indulge in this.

18:03 Drew Well, and what is it about that drug? What is it that makes us so crazy? I think we have, it's sort of a symbol of sort of nefarious acts or something.

18:11 Adam Yes.

18:11 Drew Its history is somehow sort of smitten with all kinds of ideas about counterculture or sociopathy or something. It really troubles us about who historically has used this drug or what circumstance has been used rather than the drug itself.

18:26 Adam Well, and also the first, there's a number of arguments that are screwed up about marijuana. The first thing is the right, the white man, the uptight guy who basically just says drugs are drugs. Anyone who's done drugs can tell you there's distinct differences from one drug to the next. That's why they have different names and they cost different amounts. Huge difference between sucking on a joint and doing some acid or mushrooms, speed, cocaine.

18:57 Drew All right, all right, all right. We'll go with the mushrooms. Hey guys, you're getting high.

19:01 Caller There's this documentary called Grass, it's really good. Everyone should go out and watch that and it explains the whole thing and how it became illegal and all that.

19:07 Drew Interesting.

19:08 Adam Where would one find this?

19:10 Caller The video store.

19:11 Adam Oh, okay.

19:12 Caller Came out a couple years ago.

19:12 Drew I understand that one thing that bothers me about the way things are with this drug is it is a dangerous drug for some people.

19:18 Caller Yeah.

19:18 Drew It really is. But we can't even have a discussion about that because there's such energy around it.

19:23 Adam Well, so first off, you know, they just like they just do this big stamp, this huge, you know, they paint it with this huge brush drugs, you know, big difference between your kid doing speed and your kid doing pot. Not that you want them doing either one. But if you had a choice, you definitely would be praying for pot over speed. The next thing is, is I know tons of people that smoke weed that just do it very recreationally. They hold down jobs, they're professionals, they're on time, they pay their taxes, and then Saturday night comes along, the doobie comes out, and they do the same thing with pot as they do with booze. They would never dream of having a cocktail at 8.30 in the morning on a Wednesday, and they would never dream of sucking off a roach at 8.30 in the morning on a Wednesday, unless we're fishing in Baja, in which case it's time to do both. And that's because we're on vacation. That's what I mean. So, first off, everyone is going to make a decision and the government's not really going to stop anyone from doing anything. Certain amount of people are going to quit their jobs.

20:28 Drew Prohibition doesn't work very well.

20:29 Adam No. No. So, let's just start that. Now, the second part of the problem is the guys that are sort of pro-weed try to pretend like it's some sort of herb that's good for you, that grows from the ground, and how could it be bad? And by the way, how could it be bad? Well, what about the sun? The sun will kill you.

20:48 Drew Hey, listen, there are plenty of mushrooms. Ammonia phylloides will kill you in seconds.

20:51 Caller Yes.

20:53 Adam Listen, I got oleander bush. It'll kill you. It's grown all over my house.

20:56 Drew By the way, the reason plants evolve these chemicals on their surface is so... Yeah, kill things and try to eat it. Yeah.

21:02 Adam Fine. So, I think that's why Chris is sick, by the way, trying to eat an oleander. He smoked some weed and tried to eat a bush. All right. Here's the point. Pot is a drug. It alters you. I don't know what the definition is, but you will be altered, especially by today's weed. Smoke it every day, you'll become a loser. Let's get that straight. It's not some sort of holistic cure-all. Right. It is a drug. Fine. Should adults be able to make decisions on whether they participate in a little weekend recreation? Of course they should. So, obviously, you just have to go ahead and legalize, at least medically, and let people make responsible decisions. There's always going to be a small percentage of society. And here's the thing, too, everybody. There's always going to be a small percentage of society that Fs up. There's going to be a... You're going to be at a ballgame. There's going to be 40,000 people in the stands, and there's going to be one guy who takes a beer bottle and throws it at the first base umpire. Okay. Now, none of us. Now we can all drink our beer out of a Dixie cup. That's how it works. And then with drugs, it's the same way. With weed, it's the same way. Really, if you think about it. I know a hundred people that smoke weed on weekends. No problems at all. And then there's one guy who drops out of high school, can't stop smoking it, and now nobody can smoke it. It's really, that's all society has turned into. One percent of the population either writes a letter or F's up or sues, and now we're all treated like 14 year olds. So people I know who make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, live in big homes, support families, are the heads of corporations. They can't smoke weed legally because Johnny F. Up from Kentucky, who's 14, tried to bring someone to school in South. Says, oh no, no one can. That drives me nuts about this society. Yes, Drew?

23:05 Drew Yes, Adam, that's where you and I have a mind meld.

23:08 Adam Yes, go punish the guy who F's up and leave the adults their weed.

23:13 Drew Or whatever, or punish the letter writers too.

23:15 Adam Right, and here's the other thing too that pisses me off about all this drug stuff, and especially weed. You know, when they find over a couple ounces, they give you that intent to distribute. Don't they have to catch you distributing the stuff?

23:30 Drew And whatever.

23:30 Adam That drives me nuts.

23:31 Drew Yeah, I know.

23:32 Adam Yeah, they could find an arsenal and ski mask and police scanners in your car. They couldn't bust people- Robbing a bank.

23:39 Drew No, no.

23:39 Adam You gotta wait till you rob the bank. But if you have a basket of weed at your house, none of, you were gonna sell it.

23:45 Drew Well, none of that.

23:46 Adam Yeah. Yeah, and then all the people in prison and all the courts being tied up, really. What year is this? What's going on?

23:56 Caller This is what we want?

23:57 Adam All right. Kristen?

23:59 Yes.

24:00 Adam You're 24?

24:02 Caller Yes.

24:02 Adam What's happening?

24:04 Caller I had a weird question. I was doing some research today about massaging the prostate. Why? Came across, why?

24:12 Drew Yeah, why are you researching that?

24:15 Caller You see it in a lot of movies. I've seen it on TV.

24:18 Drew I think on the- One, TV?

24:20 Adam A lot of movies.

24:22 Drew TV?

24:22 Adam Oh, yeah. No. Did you see MacLeod's Daughter on USA?

24:27 Drew Oh, sure.

24:28 Adam Yeah. A little three-part mini-series.

24:30 Yeah, it's all over.

24:31 Adam You see it all over.

24:32 Drew The Lifetime series, too.

24:33 Adam Lifetime.

24:34 Drew Heavy Medicine.

24:35 Adam Oh, Sheila Ward stars as a prostate milker. I think that was on Oxygen. It was two-parter. I think Rosie played a retarded chick in that one. Yeah, it's all over. It's all over.

24:46 Drew One out of 100 guys will like that. The other 99 will turn around and smack you.

24:52 Caller Okay, well, my question was...

24:53 Adam You're writing a report?

24:55 Caller I'm sorry?

24:57 Adam Did you say you're writing a report?

24:58 Caller I'm writing a report. Yes, it's my college paper, my final paper. I'm writing about prostate milking.

25:05 Adam It's tough. On one hand, it screams junior college. On the other hand, it's actually work being done. So it smacks of a four-year university.

25:13 Caller Well, I'm a medical student, so I could pull it off.

25:16 Drew You want to talk about milking the prostate to relieve congestion when a physician does it?

25:20 Caller Well, I don't know. I came across a website, a European website, and they were saying something to make sense that massaging the prostate can give a guy good orgasm and then also that it can prevent prostate cancer.

25:32 Drew No, it cannot prevent prostate. Wait, let me talk to Kristen. What year are you in medical school? What year are you in medical school?

25:38 Caller I'm sorry?

25:39 Drew What year in medical school are you?

25:40 Caller I'm first year.

25:41 Drew All right. There was an Australian study that showed a slightly decreased risk in prostate cancer, men that ejaculated frequently, especially men that masturbated frequently. That was the only study that showed any association between any of this stuff and prostate cancer. When you are later in your training, you will see guys with prostate inflammation, prostate infections, epididymitis. Sometimes it helps to milk the prostate to relieve some of the lymphatic congestion. That is not a sexual act. That is a therapeutic maneuver.

26:08 Adam Is that a use of hand or use your mouth?

26:11 Drew Very few men like this has something pleasurable.

26:14 Adam How does that work? You put the finger in there?

26:17 Drew Yeah, you push hard. You push against it. And a little bit of pus comes out the front. And then you take a little slide, a Microsoft slide, and you put it on the slide and look at it.

26:27 Adam See if it's infected?

26:28 Drew See if it's debris.

26:29 Adam Can you rub a little on your nipple?

26:31 Drew Yeah, that's how you do it.

26:34 Adam Chicks digging it. Oh yeah.

26:35 Drew Kristen, please.

26:38 Adam All right, let's take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Scott. 27 Still a Virgin. Oh yeah, after this.

26:47 Drew Are you a Mormon?

26:51 Caller Loveline will be right back, so get your problems ready.

26:57 Caller The one and only Live 105.

27:17 Adam Yeah, everybody, get it on. That's what I'm talking about. All right, Drew, where were we?

27:25 Drew I don't know.

27:25 Adam Let's rock.

27:26 Drew Scott, the 27-year-old virgin.

27:28 Adam Oh, yeah.

27:30 Scott.

27:31 Caller Adam and Dr. D.

27:33 Adam What's happening, my brother?

27:34 Caller You guys are like the wiser uncles I never had.

27:37 Adam Thank you.

27:38 Drew Thankfully.

27:38 Caller For the last, Adam, I need to know how the boil on the back of your neck is doing.

27:43 Adam That boil on the back of my neck?

27:45 Caller Yeah. Last week I was listening and Dr. D did surgery in the studio, it sounded like, and took care of that boil.

27:51 Drew There must have been a- Best of.

27:53 Caller Yeah, we were away.

27:54 Adam Yeah. That had to be a ways back. Yeah.

27:58 Drew I can't even remember.

27:59 Adam I guess it worked out. Oh, I had something like right on my hair. My hairline was like it was an ingrown hair or something.

28:09 Drew Yeah.

28:09 Adam That was, it didn't really work that well.

28:12 Drew Never satisfying.

28:13 Adam No, it's never really satisfying.

28:15 Caller Yeah.

28:16 Adam Yeah. So what's up, Scott?

28:18 Caller Well, so my situation and Dr. D nailed it on the end there is that, I was born and raised in Provo, Utah, and I came from a very religious family where sex was looked in as a cardinal sin that's been straight to hell unless you were married. Never been really interested in the married thing.

28:33 Drew You're a Mormon?

28:35 Caller Yes, sir. This is my third year of medical school.

28:38 Drew Nice.

28:41 Caller I'm no longer really interested in the whole organized religion thing.

28:45 Drew You're at U of A?

28:46 Caller Say again, sorry.

28:47 Drew You're at University of Arizona? Yes. That's actually good. I was the commencement speaker there a couple of years ago. It's a really good medical school.

28:54 Adam Why they call it the commencement when everyone's graduating?

28:57 Drew It's matriculation when you come in. It's commencement when you're going out.

29:01 Caller Yep.

29:02 Drew Whatever. I know it sounds like it's the beginning.

29:05 Adam It commenced with the school. It shouldn't be the commencement speech.

29:09 Drew You matriculate at the beginning.

29:11 Adam Yeah.

29:11 Drew But it just is. I'll look it up.

29:13 Adam All right, all right, all right.

29:15 Drew Anyway, I was very impressed with that school. Very nice medical school.

29:18 Caller Yeah, I've been very happy with it for sure. And so, but, you know, Dr. do you know that you're exposed to reality pretty well in your, your third year of wards where you just see patients for the first time. And it really got me thinking and really kind of set myself straight that I'm, I'm supposed to live for myself and not for some organization. And anyway, about six months ago, I, I started thinking that, you know, sex is probably a pretty good thing. I should probably try it out. And about two months ago, I hooked up with a nurse at the hospital and she and I are getting along really good. Um, problem is that, uh, I haven't told her that, that, that next week, next week, we're going to go off to Flagstaff for a weekend. Um, I haven't told her that she's quote christening the ship with me.

30:02 Drew I wouldn't even get into it. You're just have a great time.

30:04 Adam Yeah.

30:05 Drew That's your working hard as your third year. Things aren't going to get worse next couple of years in terms of your work commitments. Just, just relax.

30:11 Adam Well, he, he shouldn't tell her he's a virgin.

30:13 Drew No, I just enjoy the weekend. Who knows where that could go? That's the problem.

30:18 Caller This is where I need both of your advices.

30:20 Adam All right. Well, just listen to, we, we speak as one with one nasally voice on this one, Scott. There's really you telling her really no upside, no upside doesn't get you anywhere. I know it's a way, it's sort of, hold on a second. Let's talk saying, saying you're a virgin before you get into bed. I think people look at it as you're singing karaoke or something at a party or your best man and you're delivering the best man toast and you're like, I just want to start off by saying I really didn't have any time to prepare anything. So I'm not used to public speaking, but Matt is a great guy. It's a little apology at the beginning. So like, don't, don't judge.

31:05 Drew It's an apology and it's also a, you're wanting to make a moment out of it. You don't need to, you're 27, you're not 19.

31:12 Adam I don't think so. I think what you're asking for is, is do not judge. Do not judge me.

31:19 Drew Yes, right.

31:20 Adam Do not judge just performance. It's, you know, show me, show me around a little bit.

31:24 Drew Give me a buy, give me a buy on this one.

31:25 Adam Give me a pass.

31:26 Drew Yeah. It's the first time out. Let me swing that a couple of times.

31:30 Adam Right, right.

31:31 Caller Yeah.

31:31 Drew There's a little bit of that too.

31:33 Caller Right.

31:33 Caller I've got two weeks here to catch up on the last nine years. I mean, she's obviously, she's not, you know, sexually naïve and... Right.

31:43 Caller All right.

31:43 Drew Well, Scott, wait, here's the deal. You're the perfect circumstance to be, A, you're a physician, you're nearly a physician, you understand the anatomy, you understand how things work. Use it. You needn't be, this is not a mysterious act for you. Yes. And your instincts, believe me, will take care of themselves. Your limbic system. Yes. Your reward apparatus is functioning normally. It'll go. It's just a spinal reflex anyway.

32:06 Adam Let's hope all this apparatus is functioning. Hey Scott.

32:10 Drew Just relax. Have a good time. Have a good time.

32:12 Enjoy.

32:14 Adam Everything happens for a reason. You need to give her copious amounts of oral sex.

32:19 Drew You need to do that. And you know what also this sounds like? You know what it sounds like? It sounds like this is guilt and shame moving into this. This is all your years of religiosity coming into that weekend going, shouldn't I be doing something else?

32:32 Adam Just Scott.

32:33 Caller Well yeah, I mean obviously I've got a really skewed outlook on this because for 79% of my sexual life it's been a very bad slap on the wrist. No, no, you don't even think like this. And now, hot damn, I'm going through it.

32:46 Drew All right, well, but you better think about what it's yours.

32:48 Adam Take a chill pill. What's the furthest you've gotten with a woman?

32:55 Caller Well, she surprised me in my call room about three weeks ago. And, you know, I was actually, quote, saved by the beeper because she started to go down and I wasn't going to last long enough for you and my scrubs off. But my beeper went off and I was able to kind of get out of there without being too embarrassed.

33:15 Drew So that's it. But should she be delighted that she could do that to you?

33:18 Adam Yeah. All right, Scott, you're fine. Don't worry. Stop. I don't know what to do. And listen, by the end of the weekend, you'll be coming out of there.

33:30 Drew Oh, an expert.

33:30 Adam Oh, it'll be like Drew. It'll be awesome. But here's the thing. Lots of oral sex. Don't get freaked out. And don't talk. Do not talk too much. That's only going to get you into trouble. Only open your mouth to breathe and think.

33:44 Drew Completely into him. I hope he's got to decide he's making the choice and then just dive. If he's conflicted about it, maybe, you know.

33:53 Caller Yeah. Oh, boy.

33:54 Adam She's in for a great weekend. Salim?

33:59 Caller Salim? Adam Corolla. Hey, got to get it on. Can't afford not to not get it on.

34:06 Adam Got to get it on.

34:07 Drew Hey, hold your nose when you say that. You'll sound more authentic.

34:11 Adam You'll sound like me.

34:12 Drew What is it?

34:13 Caller Let's get it on.

34:15 Drew A little better. Yeah. A little more of a drone quality.

34:18 Adam Yeah, got to get it on.

34:20 Caller Yeah, you got to get it on.

34:24 Adam What's up, Salim?

34:25 Caller I got a Germany or Florida.

34:27 Adam All right, we're ready.

34:28 Caller A man was found masturbating in a tree last Tuesday. The tree was located in front of a Catholic schoolyard. The man, age 32, was spotted by a nun who quickly called police. When the police showed up at the schoolyard, the man jumped out from the tree with his pants down. The man was also a five-time convicted pedophile. Germany or Florida.

34:48 Adam And you thought that was bird crap on your windshield.

34:50 Drew Well, no, that's interesting.

34:52 Adam Thank you, buddy. Selim's got a good laugh. Well, let's break it down.

34:58 Drew Let's add it up here. The whole county school sounds a little bit... Doesn't sound like Florida, though. Sounds...

35:05 Adam Hard to tell.

35:05 Drew OK, the police showing up for that kind of thing, it sounds a little Florida. No pants, a little Florida. The whole pedophile thing, you know, not being taken care of, sounds Florida.

35:15 Caller Yeah.

35:15 Drew Multiple convictions still out on the loose.

35:18 Caller Yeah.

35:19 Drew That's the part that gets hands down goes Florida for me.

35:21 Adam Europe can be pretty lenient with that stuff too.

35:23 Drew We don't, I don't know. Yeah, that's the point.

35:25 Adam Yes, we don't know.

35:26 Drew Cannot judge.

35:27 Adam No, it's impossible to judge. Hmm, Germany, Florida. It's easy just to go Florida.

35:35 Drew Yeah.

35:35 Adam It's easy.

35:36 Drew Yes, exactly. But Catholic school already throws me off Florida. Are there Catholic schools in Florida? There must be.

35:42 Adam All right, so what's it gonna be?

35:43 Drew I'll go Florida.

35:45 Adam I've been going Germany just to mix it up, but I've been getting burned, but I'm staying with it. Salim, I'm going Germany. Drew's going Florida. The answer is Adam, you're a god.

35:56 Drew Oh, yeah.

35:58 Adam It's Germany.

35:59 Drew It is Germany.

36:02 Caller Yeah.

36:03 Gotta get it on.

36:05 Yeah.

36:07 Get it on. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

36:10 Caller Thanks, Salim.

36:11 Thank you.

36:13 Adam Send you an update.

36:14 Drew That was a good one.

36:15 Adam A sippy cup, right?

36:17 Drew Yeah, that was a good one.

36:18 We were going to Florida all the way.

36:20 Adam Yeah. Well, it's just everything effed up feels like Florida every time there's a pedophile in the tree. It just...

36:24 Drew Although as you know well, Germany is right in there.

36:28 Adam Germany's pretty effed up. I was just reading, actually I wasn't reading, but my wife was reading in a magazine and I forced her to read it out loud to me. Anne Frank would have been 75 like today or yesterday or something like that.

36:43 Caller Not that old. Not that old.

36:45 Adam Well, you kill someone when they're 13, 14, you know what I mean? Just start thinking about those fine Germans. First off, that wasn't even in Germany.

36:54 Drew It's in Holland.

36:55 Adam Yeah. Secondly, the war's almost over. Now, the guy, Anne Frank's dad, this is the author of the diary of Anne Frank, the dad made it through.

37:07 Drew Oh, did he?

37:08 Adam Yeah. It was like his 12, 13 year old daughter and then he had another 16 year old daughter got snuffed out too. Yeah. We're trying to conduct a war here, but we got a little free time. We're just going to be kicking in farmhouse doors, going upstairs. What do you got? It's a couple of chicks there. What are you in the seventh grade? Uh-huh. What are you? A freshman, sophomore? Oh, junior.

37:30 Caller Okay. Come on.

37:32 Adam We'll put you on a train. We'll take you somewhere. We'll kill you.

37:34 Drew Fantastic, everybody. The response.

37:36 Adam No problem there.

37:37 Drew Think about it. Yeah. This is not a judge.

37:39 Adam No, no, impossible to judge.

37:41 Drew This isn't a judge. A defense of anything by any means. But I was just seeing some material about what the Russians did when they came into Berlin.

37:49 Adam Oh, it's payback time.

37:50 Drew Oh, it was random. Just there's a complete carnage.

37:54 Adam Russians were not a great folks either. Look, everybody, the more you learn about other countries, especially during wartime, the more you should appreciate this country. Take a look at the Japanese and what they did with their prisoners of war. A little bit on Death March. Take a look at the Germans, the concentration camps. Take a look at the Russians when the sweet, sweet payback came toward the end in Berlin. And I mean, not that they didn't have it coming, but more just random acts of rape and violence. God knows what. Just more violence on violence. And then take a look at this country. That, yeah, yeah, that's all you need to know. But all I'm saying is, let's bomb Germany. I just started thinking about poor Anne Frank and her poor sister really barely gets any ink. Few years, you know, she was an old fogey. She was 16. Just once in junior high or high school, round them up, pull them out, snuff them, snuff them. And so then after it's clear you guys lost, after you try to take over the world and, you know, snuff out every Jew on the planet, we're cool. What do you guys need? You guys need some? Oh, well, oh, oh, the Russians have cut your capital in half. We'll airlift in some supplies, keep you guys going over there in West Germany. What do you need? Need a few cans of tuna? What do you need? You're cool? What do you got? You got a Porsche? Bring it on over. We'll buy it. No, no, put the crappy brakes on it for us. We'll still buy it. Yeah. Yeah. I say we bomb them one more time, just one good bombing. Just one. I mean, not one bomb, but, you know, carpet bombing, but just hit them once. And then it'd be, and it's just gonna be, oh, sorry, Germany, well, what do you know? We made a mistake. But you'll forgive us, right? And help us?

39:42 Caller Maybe we'll help.

39:46 Adam Take a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Frank, the diary of Frank.

39:51 Drew Strangely.

39:52 Adam Frank, strangely, 19 condom breaks every time he has sex. Seems like a good thing.

39:59 Caller I'm the big boy.

40:01 Adam We'll talk to Frank after this.

40:03 Caller Loveline. Okay, wait, wait, wait, oh, my hair, my hair. We'll be right back.

40:10 Caller But the one and only Live 105.

40:32 Hey, yeah, get it on.

40:37 Drew Oh, yeah.

40:39 Got to get it on.

40:41 Adam It takes all kinds of time. Everything happens for a reason, Drew. Do you believe that?

40:44 Drew Oh, sure, Adam.

40:45 Adam I like when people add the extra little retard parsley by the side of that dish where they go, I believe that everything happens for, oh, you believe? What are you, an idiot? I believe that everything happens for a reason.

41:04 Drew I find it interesting in that last color we had that was very religious and then what he gets exposed to.

41:08 Adam How about when kids get burned?

41:10 Drew Yeah, reason.

41:13 Adam Yeah, he's very religious.

41:14 Drew And then he sort of gets into how humans actually work and becomes a scientist and is like, oh, wait a minute.

41:20 Adam Well, I believe everything happens for a reason. And whoever interviews these idiots always goes, oh, okay. No one goes, what the F does that mean? Sir Reus of Tard? Does that mean anything? Yeah. Idiots. Everyone's an idiot but me, Drew.

41:39 Drew I've always known that.

41:40 Adam Maybe you.

41:41 Drew Well, you've always called me an idiot, so I must be one too.

41:43 Adam Frank?

41:44 Caller Adam, what's up, bro?

41:45 Adam You're 19?

41:46 Caller Yeah, I'm 19.

41:47 Adam Your condom breaks every time?

41:50 Caller Well, it's the majority of the time, not everything.

41:52 Adam It's the majority, and you just keep patching it back together and trying again.

41:55 Drew How long do you have sex before it breaks?

41:58 Caller Probably like 10 minutes, I guess. It'd be maybe 15, 20 minutes, you know? And then right when I'm about the climax, and then I'm going full throttle at it, you know? And then that's what happens most of the time.

42:16 Drew Have you ever tried putting the lubricant on the tip of the penis before you put the condom on?

42:21 Caller Um, I actually went to Kaiser and I bought some special condoms that had Aqualuve, I think it's called.

42:27 Drew Yeah. Really?

42:28 Caller It's a lubricant.

42:29 Drew Yeah.

42:29 Caller And I bought some of those and I broke two of them this morning.

42:34 Adam You went to Kaiser and purchased condoms at a hospital?

42:38 Caller Yeah. Yeah. At the clinic. Actually at the pharmacy.

42:42 Adam Wow.

42:42 Drew Pharmacy there? What the hell?

42:43 Adam Wow, this guy's made it into love banking.

42:45 Caller Yeah, it was like a four-hour pharmacy.

42:47 Drew And have you tried different brands?

42:49 Caller Yeah, I've tried Trojan, Lifestyles. I went to Planned Parenthood and they gave me some there.

42:55 Drew And you've tried different sizes too, right?

42:58 Caller They're usually the same size. I'm not that big. I'm like seven, you know?

43:01 Drew And when you put it on, you roll it down a little bit before you put it on?

43:05 Caller Yeah, all the way to the base, you know?

43:06 Drew No, no, but I mean, you actually roll it before you actually put it on your penis.

43:09 Caller Yeah, it does.

43:10 Adam You roll a little out?

43:11 Drew You roll some out.

43:12 Caller I took health class. I know how to do that.

43:14 Adam Have you tried the new ostrich skin ones? Those are tough, dude.

43:18 Drew Alligator skin.

43:18 Adam It's tough, too.

43:20 Drew Goat skin, nice, Frank. And then there's some of the piercing shops have reinforced condoms, very thick ones.

43:25 Adam What do you think he's doing? He's too vigorous?

43:28 Drew Yes, I do think that.

43:29 Adam Should he put some of the lube on the outside of the condom, too?

43:31 Drew Oh, for sure, for sure, but needs a little bit of the inside also.

43:34 Caller I mean, because it's not a problem because my girlfriend's wet, seriously. She's really wet. So, I mean, I don't know what I'm doing. Maybe it's the position.

43:43 Drew All right.

43:43 Adam Now, look, here's the other thing, too.

43:47 Drew Maybe another means of birth control.

43:48 Adam Yeah. Get her on the pill. Get her wetness on the pill. Number one. Number two, sometimes stuff happens where you have a bad run with things randomly. Drew has a saying for that, which is random events segregate non-random.

44:07 Drew That's correct.

44:08 Adam And it'll happen that you'll...

44:10 Drew The bad things happen in a series.

44:12 Adam And it's weird. You'll buy TV, you'll plug it in, it won't work. Then you'll buy a DVD player, you'll plug it in, it won't work. And you'll make that announcement. How come every piece of something... It just happened together.

44:22 Drew Right.

44:23 Adam This guy broke three condoms over the course of a weekend. He may never break another one.

44:28 Drew Right.

44:29 Adam For another 20 years. Involving illegals being smuggled in in vans. People dying at sea. Maritime. Mostly maritime stuff happens for a reason. That guy at the Achille Laurel, the terrorist, the guy in the wheelchair. Yeah, the guy shot him and then the terrorist dumped him in the ocean. For a reason. Cause everything, I believe, everything happens for a reason. Joe?

45:24 Caller Hey, how's it going?

45:25 Adam 27 and Frank getting rounded up and brought to concentration camp for a reason. Same with their sister. Everything. That's what I believe.

45:34 Caller Go ahead, Joe.

45:36 Caller Oh, don't you know what I'm calling about?

45:38 Adam I don't know, Joe. Just go ahead. Would you?

45:42 Caller Can you get an STD from a hand job?

45:44 Drew I guess it's possible. There's something called herpetic Whitlow. You can get herpes on the finger.

45:48 Adam It would happen for a reason if it did.

45:49 Drew Yeah, if it did. That's about it, though.

45:52 Adam Yeah. Who'd you get a hand job from?

45:55 Caller Okay, so I did the nerd, get the personals online thing, and I was corresponding with this chick, and then I asked her for her phone number, and she gave it to me, right? So I called this chick up and said, Hi, how you doing? You want to meet?

46:14 Drew Slow down, sorry.

46:15 Adam What about the part where you dialed the phone?

46:16 Drew Dialed the phone, and what time of day was it?

46:19 Adam Yeah. So you got her on the phone, and she turned out to be a prostitute, right?

46:25 Caller Sort of, yeah.

46:26 Adam How much for the hand job?

46:29 Caller It was 40, but I thought it was paying for her cab fare.

46:32 Adam Oh, interesting.

46:34 Caller She said that you could take a cab. She lived across town, so I was like, I can cover that.

46:39 Adam So you met her on the internet, you called her, you guys hooked up, and it-

46:42 Caller No, it turns out it's not her. Somebody was playing a prank on me, and they gave me the number for this chick. I talked to her, and she didn't know what the hell I was talking about.

46:53 Adam All right, well she gave you a hand job, and you gave her cab fare, which seems like a decent trade out. Again, everything happening for a reason. I think there's a fair amount of people on the internet, who are women on the internet, who are saying they're looking for a good time, looking to hook up, looking to have fun, who are basically prostitutes.

47:10 Drew Yeah, probably.

47:11 Adam Yeah?

47:11 Drew Makes sense, right?

47:14 Adam Yeah.

47:14 Drew If you were in that business, that's what you do.

47:16 Adam I would, and I am, and I do.

47:18 Drew I bet.

47:18 Adam We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Hey, everybody. It's the Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. And I believe everything happens for a reason. Just like that.

48:14 Drew Hey, speaking of which, speaking of the reasons, I'd like people to please tune in to Discovery Health Channel on Wednesday night.

48:18 Adam Do that, everyone.

48:19 Drew A new show, 9 o'clock on the West Coast, midnight on the East, check your local listing, 11 o'clock in Chicago.

48:23 Adam What can we expect, Drew?

48:24 Drew It's a show about orgasms.

48:26 Adam The first show.

48:27 Drew The first show is about orgasms, and the shows get more and more intense as you move through the season, more about relationships, and hey, surprise, surprise, abuse. I talked to like Jillian Barber. She comes on and talks about her sexual abuse history.

48:37 Adam Stepdad putting gravel in her clothes.

48:39 Drew It was beautiful. We had a penis fracture call this evening. I do a penis repair surgery and a penis enlargement surgery, and the vaginal reconstruction is good stuff.

48:49 Adam That's all in studio on show one.

48:52 Drew Not in show one, that stuff. That's all coming up.

48:54 Adam But in studio. It's all in studio.

48:55 Drew Yeah. Well, we set up a little operating table and get the Lammer flow tables going.

49:00 Adam Nice.

49:01 Caller All right.

49:02 Adam All right, you ready to keep on rocking here, Drew? Let's talk to Mike, who's 22. Mike?

49:10 Caller Hello, what's up?

49:11 Adam What's happening, Mike?

49:13 Caller Not much. Basically, whenever I'm having sex with my fiance, whatever, after I come, I can't even, I have to stop, go soft right away and can't go for another 15, 20 minutes.

49:25 Drew And what's your question?

49:27 Caller Like, what can I do about that? Because it kind of sucks. Is that pissing her off? And she gets...

49:31 Drew Wait a minute, Mike, Mike, do you have some fantasy that after your orgasm, guys just keep going eternally? Well, here's male physiology, even young males, the orgasm, you lose your erection, you have a refractory phase. It's anywhere from 10 minutes to about 12 hours. Adam, is that 12 hours? Are you good in 12 hours? Two days.

49:54 Adam Yeah.

49:55 Drew And that's it. That's how your biology works.

49:59 Caller All right, then, guys. I mean, it just sucks, because afterwards she feels all used and if I...

50:06 Adam Mike just sounds like an idiot. He just dropped the S-bomb.

50:10 Drew I think he's so retarded, though. I think that he can't quite figure out what the problem is. The problem sounds like he doesn't last long enough, or he's not paying attention to her maybe doing oral sex beforehand. Something that can sort of get her to the right place before he has his orgasm. Did I talk to you about this new medication that's coming out for this?

50:25 Adam I, by the way, heard the tone of Mike's... I heard the first syllable out of Mike, just the first ehh, and I just tuned out completely. I have no idea what his question was. So anyway, Drew.

50:36 Drew You were hearing music? This is Blue Danube.

50:39 Adam I was actually hearing a babbling brook. It's rainforest. Go ahead, Drew. What was he talking about?

50:47 Drew I already talked to him.

50:48 Caller It's good.

50:49 Drew There is a new medication coming out for premature E though. That's going to be pretty cool. Yeah. It's going to double or triple guys' times. Yeah. In about a year. You're already the ninja there. You don't have to worry about that.

51:03 Adam Yeah. I never had that problem. I just, I did it when I wanted to do it. And not before and not after. And everything happens for a reason, especially when it comes out of my penis. That's the way I always say, you know, it's what I say. It's what I believe. Your command. And there's no, I don't know, you know, look, me trying to teach that to someone is like somebody trying to teach me how to curl my tongue up.

51:31 Drew Right. As you and I have talked about, I think that's a function of how you're configured wired. You don't have a pulse. Your parasympathetic system is in charge.

51:38 Adam Are you talking? I see your mouth moving, but I don't hear anything.

51:41 Drew Right. That's what I'm talking about. And other people have the sympathetic system in charge, which is the engine, the accelerator.

51:48 Adam Yes.

51:49 Drew You've got the throttle in.

51:50 Adam Down or over. Yeah, no, I don't have any forward gears.

51:54 Drew Right. And so you've got to decide to release the clutch.

51:58 Adam Yeah. To engage. Yeah, no, yeah, no, yeah.

52:01 Drew No, yeah.

52:02 Adam Yeah, no, no. I, you know, in terms of orgasm, I got to decide when it's time.

52:08 Drew All the clutch out, yeah.

52:09 Adam And, you know, and then you better look out because you're going to get hit with a tidal wave of thimble full of powder. That's basically what it is now. But Drew, Drew's a man of passion.

52:24 Drew I got an engine.

52:25 Adam Drew has an engine. And Drew has energy. You know, you watch him eat, you can see he's passionate. Passionate man when it comes to food, passionate. Passion when it comes, see, Drew is a guy who, when you put something before him, he has to dig into it. Yes. You can't tell Drew, here, here's some junk. I want you to do get to it at your leisure. Drew, Drew, you'll jump on it. It'll haunt you. It'll bother you. I don't know what that is.

52:51 Drew I know you don't.

52:52 Adam I know. I don't know. I don't know what it's like. I don't know.

52:54 Drew You don't know what it is that bothers you that even exists on earth.

52:57 Adam Well it does because I tell, you know, Drew and look, we got a six hour flight. How about you wait till we get off the ground before you dig into whatever. And you know, Drew gets excited. We get it on this show. We have to do liners and stuff to hand it to a Drew Dress. He has to do it that second.

53:12 Drew Is that annoying to be around?

53:14 Adam It's annoying when you don't do it because then it just points out how lazy I am. Really.

53:19 Drew Well, but I imagine I remember a long time ago.

53:21 Adam You don't do it as much as you used to.

53:23 Drew Oh, is that right? Oh, trained it out.

53:26 Adam Something. No, here's how you used to be, Drew. If we, you know, it's a two hour show. There's, I don't know, five, six breaks during the course of the show. We would get some what they call liners from an affiliate. Big, hey, you're listening to Loveline and WKGG the big rock of Arkansas. That's good. Anyway, and it'd be about 30 seconds worth of work, three or four lines and producer and would throw it at us during the first break. And we go to commercial. Let's say, let's take a leak and get some coffee and talk some smack about the guest. And Drew would say, oh, we got to do the liners. And I'd say, yeah, we'll do them at the top of the hour. Drew, you would be bothered, shaken. You'd want to get rid of it. It would bother you that it was sitting here. And my thing was, if we don't do it tonight, we'll do it tomorrow night. You can't imagine a ton of energy. You don't have that so much anymore. We had some liners dropped off tonight. Drew made it a whole hour before we did it. He's DT-ing. He's got...

54:27 Drew But you can't imagine the intensity of what... I know part of it's in my biology, but the training. I've let go of a lot of stuff that... Seriously, I'm almost embarrassed that I'm not the way I used to be in terms of the, yes sir, be right on that. The medical training really makes you very much sort of a military guy.

54:47 Adam Yeah, yeah, I know, but it's like, I don't know. I played 10 years of football. I know what it's like to run around and get ran around, but stop doing it. You don't have to do it anymore. You don't do it anymore.

54:59 Caller I know. Yeah.

55:00 Adam So we're done. We'll start working on other things. Krista?

55:04 Yeah?

55:05 Adam You bleed every time you orgasm?

55:07 Yes.

55:08 Drew Every time you orgasm, every time you have sex, intercourse?

55:11 Well, no, it's after I masturbate.

55:13 Drew All right, some women, yeah, some women do that. It doesn't, are you on the birth control pill?

55:17 No.

55:19 Drew Have you always done this?

55:20 No, just for the last two months. I recently had a lap band surgery and ever since I've had-

55:26 Adam Is that the stomach staple?

55:28 What?

55:29 Adam Yeah. How much did you weigh?

55:31 400.

55:32 Adam Four?

55:33 Yeah.

55:35 Adam Now by the way, when someone says four, like there's a party that goes, ah, come on, she's 470. She's just rounding down. But four, you don't need to find. Four is fine.

55:45 Drew How much did you lose?

55:46 Adam Were you four? Yeah. Okay.

55:48 Drew How much did you lose?

55:49 Oh, 50 pounds so far.

55:51 Drew Good. Are you on a medication?

55:52 Adam You're down to 350?

55:55 Drew Yeah.

55:55 Adam Okay. Let me let me tell you about goal weights first off, because when you're four, your goal weight can be 260. Then you're 5'3, 260. Right. Now, you got your goal weight's got to be, you know, Katie Holmes weight.

56:10 Caller Right.

56:11 Adam Yeah. You'll get to it with that thing.

56:13 Caller Exactly.

56:15 Adam You've lost 50. And how long?

56:17 Caller Two months.

56:18 Adam Two months.

56:19 Caller It's good.

56:20 Adam Wow.

56:21 Drew Well, clearly, not clearly, but I have no doubt that it's something related to the gastric stapling or the banding.

56:27 Caller And the like brown discharge I've had since I've had it done.

56:30 Drew Yeah. It can really...

56:32 Caller Hold on.

56:32 Adam I got to beat off now. Down to 350. Get the brown discharge. Excuse me, Drew.

56:39 Drew It really can screw with your menstrual cycling, being overweight, losing weight rapidly, all that. Watch out for gallbladder attacks. That's one of the big complications of this.

56:46 Adam How do you watch out for it?

56:47 Drew When you get rid of the quadrant pain, know that's what it is.

56:50 Adam What do you got to do?

56:51 Drew Hospital.

56:52 Adam Oh, really? Krista.

56:54 Drew Sometimes they take the gallbladder out when they're in there, just to prevent that stuff.

56:57 Adam While you're on the rack. Krista.

56:59 Caller Yeah.

57:00 Adam Were you always overweight?

57:02 Caller Yes.

57:03 Adam Yeah. And, you know, when you see those pictures of you at 5, you're big, right? Yes. I think this procedure is just something people ought to do if this is going to be their life.

57:16 Drew Maybe at a younger age.

57:17 Adam Well, I mean, first off, you're 20, you got it done.

57:22 Drew Yeah.

57:22 Adam You made it, you managed to make the 400 pounds at age 20.

57:25 Caller Yeah.

57:26 Adam If that's not in your genetic cards, it's impossible to make it to 400 pounds. You probably was, you know, 375 at 18. You can't do it if that's not in the cards genetically.

57:37 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

57:38 Adam Oh, people do that. Oh, you got to be more active. Are you high? There's no teenager alive that doesn't just live off of fast food. I mean, find me a teenager that gives a rat's ass, especially when we were growing up. You didn't even know from that. You eat whatever is put in front of you. Eat the crap at school. It's nothing but fish sticks and sticky buns and Kool-Aid. I mean, come on. You're obviously packing on, you know, 40 pounds for every one pound another average teenager would pack on. I mean, I knew guys who just ate everything all the time, all the time. They'd go pick out, you know, before the morning, we're going to do pars.

58:16 Drew Just because.

58:16 Adam We're going to go get some Wavis Rancheros. Yeah.

58:19 Drew And a milkshake.

58:21 Adam And a milkshake. Yeah. And give me a slice of danish, a piece of danish to go. I'm going to smoke and smoke out when I get home.

58:26 Drew And those guys had not an ounce of fat on them.

58:28 Adam I guess six pack abs. Yeah. So they should write a book. And poor Chris should be punished. But here's how it works. You get the surgery at 20 because A, you could wait until 40, but what? A bunch of yo-yoing, you're 400 pounds. What's the lightest you get to 311? You know what I'm saying?

58:48 Drew Yep.

58:49 Adam Starving yourself, screwing with your metabolism, binging, purging, never going anywhere, all this stuff. Just get the surgery. You need this surgery like someone needs a corrective eye surgery, like your ear or any surgery. You were dealt a defective body.

59:11 Drew Well, there's a certain genetic defect.

59:13 Adam There's a certain genetic defect.

59:14 Drew And there may be some medication someday to manipulate some of those messages from the brain to the stomach and whatnot, the leptins and this sort of thing, the ghrelins, that's all stuff that's being worked on now. So, we may one day not need to have the surgery. Maybe it's blocking medicines.

59:28 Adam Well, like I said, I had a friend who just underwent this at probably age 40. The guy yo-yoed his entire life, you know what I mean? And he just couldn't do it. He couldn't keep it off. He was disciplined at times, but just it was impossible. To got the surgery, boom, it's 185 pounds. And it's gonna save his life. And he just should have done it 20 years ago. So, God bless you, Krista.

59:55 Drew Thanks.

59:56 Adam Yeah, you'll be down to-

59:57 Drew Don't worry about the bleeding. Talk to your doctor about that. I'm sure all sorts of menstrual irregularities and even ovarian cysts, all sorts of funky things can happen the way it's going down.

1:00:03 Adam Let me ask you this too, Drew. Better skin-wise to do this at 20 than at 40. I was thinking that.

1:00:08 Drew And healing-wise, if she decides to have all the, surgically all the extra skin removed, the healing would be better at 20 than at 40.

1:00:15 Adam Yeah, and the skin probably has a better chance-

1:00:17 Drew More resilient.

1:00:18 Adam Pulling itself back into place.

1:00:19 Drew Yeah, more resiliency, yeah.

1:00:20 Adam What do you think about that, Krista?

1:00:22 Caller I'm excited.

1:00:24 Adam You sound over the moon.

1:00:25 Drew Elated.

1:00:26 Adam Yeah. So have you, are you a virgin?

1:00:28 Caller No.

1:00:30 Adam Oh, really? Black guy?

1:00:31 Caller One night stand.

1:00:32 Adam One night stand. So who was this man? I want to talk to him. How much, how much, when did this happen?

1:00:42 Caller About a year ago.

1:00:43 Adam How much did you weigh at the time? Did he ever say black guy?

1:00:50 Caller No.

1:00:51 Caller Wow.

1:00:52 Adam He'd have a little in his blood.

1:00:52 Caller He was pretty hot, but.

1:00:54 Adam He was a good looking guy?

1:00:55 Caller Oh yeah.

1:00:56 Adam Really? Where did you meet him?

1:00:58 Caller At work.

1:01:00 Adam At work?

1:01:01 Drew Yep.

1:01:01 Adam He came in, he was a customer?

1:01:03 Caller Yep.

1:01:04 Drew Why just one night?

1:01:05 Adam How many blizzards did he order? Little DQ joke.

1:01:08 Caller Nice.

1:01:09 Adam Yeah. Why didn't you just, he didn't call the next day?

1:01:13 Caller He did, twice. I didn't tell him I was a virgin.

1:01:17 Drew Uh-huh.

1:01:19 Adam We usually do the math on these ones. Did, why, no dating after that?

1:01:25 Caller Nope.

1:01:26 Adam Why not?

1:01:27 Caller Nope.

1:01:28 Adam He called you a couple times.

1:01:31 Drew Are you an abuse survivor also?

1:01:32 Caller Yeah.

1:01:33 Drew Yeah, what kind of abuse?

1:01:35 Caller Blasted for years.

1:01:37 Drew You know, there's a weird thing that somebody, well listen to this, listen to this.

1:01:40 Adam No, I know.

1:01:41 Drew You don't want to say?

1:01:42 Adam I do know what you're going to say.

1:01:43 Drew What am I going to say?

1:01:46 Adam You're probably going to say, A, you believe that everything happens for a reason, including molestation and morbid obesity.

1:01:52 Drew There's a plan.

1:01:53 Adam There's a plan to that. But B, the people that were sexually abused create this sort of wall of weight around them.

1:02:02 Drew But some of the extreme weight excesses I've seen, oftentimes at the conclusion of the abuse, the dad, the uncle, will give them food, cookies and things, and get this sort of crazy association with the abuse.

1:02:13 Adam Did that happen, Krista? No. Okay.

1:02:17 Drew She would say, here, honey, I did this because I love you so much. Here's some cookie and milk, and let's settle down about this.

1:02:21 Adam Who abused you?

1:02:23 Caller My brother and my cousins.

1:02:25 Adam Oh, cousins, those guys are all probably working.

1:02:30 Drew Carnivals.

1:02:31 Adam Yeah, yeah. Are they in jail, any of them? Any of those cousins of yours?

1:02:35 Drew No.

1:02:36 Adam Okay, starting families, working construction?

1:02:41 Caller No, they don't work.

1:02:43 Adam Oh, they don't work. Okay, but when they do, off and on, they do a little construction, right?

1:02:49 Caller Yeah, they're in jail most of the time.

1:02:53 Adam Okay, now I'm starting to get angry, Chris. And the point is, is God bless you with the surgery, keep the weight off. Guy called a couple of times.

1:03:02 Drew Deal with the abuse. Here's what's gonna happen now, you're gonna lose the weight, and then you're gonna get depressed because people are gonna start coming approaching to you, you're gonna start getting close to people, and that's gonna freak you out. Make sure you get some therapy.

1:03:12 Adam I got one more call. I got one more thing, Drew. I gotta do it. And I feel so strongly about this this time that I can't be wrong. Krista?

1:03:19 Caller Yeah?

1:03:20 Adam Jewish or Asian? Are you Jew or Asian?

1:03:26 Caller None.

1:03:27 Adam Oh my God. I'm sorry, baby. I, you know, I had such a strong impulse. Yeah. Especially when I heard about the cousins.

1:03:35 Drew The Asian.

1:03:35 Adam Yeah. I heard about the cousins jumping in in the morbid obesity. All right. Keep that tummy stapled. And everyone should just get this now. Just get your health assessed. Everybody.

1:03:45 Drew All right.

1:03:45 Adam Chris, when are you heading in, buddy?

1:03:47 Drew We're all going together.

1:03:48 Adam Get that stomach stapled.

1:03:50 Drew The banding. I'll get it done, dude.

1:03:51 Adam Get it done. What do you got? We got, you got a little head cold?

1:03:53 Drew He's gonna puke on you, I think.

1:03:55 Adam You nauseous?

1:03:56 Caller No, no. Just a little cold.

1:03:57 Drew A little cold?

1:03:58 Adam What do you got?

1:03:59 Caller Just a cold.

1:04:00 Drew A sore throat, congestion.

1:04:03 Caller Sore throat was on Saturday.

1:04:04 Drew Oh, no sore throat.

1:04:06 Adam We'll keep guessing.

1:04:07 Drew Yeah, sore throat, no, yesterday.

1:04:09 Adam Yeah, no sore throat. What do you got? I have a cold, dude.

1:04:12 Caller Yeah, cold. It's off.

1:04:13 Adam All right.

1:04:14 Drew He's sitting there, but he looks disgusted with you, though, Adam. He's really disgusted.

1:04:16 Adam I know, he's angry. Well, he's lashing out.

1:04:19 Caller Everything happens for a reason.

1:04:20 Drew That's right.

1:04:20 Adam Graduation is just around the corner for him, and he's not sure. He's got to pass that biology final.

1:04:26 Drew He doesn't want to miss the ceremony.

1:04:28 Adam All right.

1:04:28 Drew He's going to be sick for it.

1:04:29 Adam All right. Leo?

1:04:31 Caller Focus.

1:04:32 Caller Yes.

1:04:33 Caller What's up? Hey, guys, what's up?

1:04:35 Adam Do they even have a graduation ceremony for Jason? Here's be my graduation ceremony if I ran a junior college. Okay.

1:04:43 Caller Yeah.

1:04:44 Adam Losers, let's get going now.

1:04:45 Caller Get going.

1:04:46 Adam Let's go. I'd fire a shotgun up in the air. Just have some rock salt in it.

1:04:52 Drew Get out of here.

1:04:52 Adam Yeah. I was trying to scare Coyote away from my property like I was a rancher. Saw a grizzly bear standing up around the fence, around the cattle. Come on now.

1:05:03 Drew You point out the ones you love back.

1:05:05 Adam Yeah.

1:05:05 Drew You're nursing students.

1:05:06 Adam Yeah.

1:05:06 Drew See you in the fall.

1:05:07 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

1:05:10 Caller Yeah. No, you're cool.

1:05:11 Adam You're over there from I don't know where the hell you're from. You're Asian.

1:05:14 Caller All right.

1:05:15 Adam Fine. Stay on.

1:05:16 Drew Make sure you get those UCLA application in.

1:05:18 Adam They're a student.

1:05:18 Caller Yeah. They saw it back.

1:05:20 Caller You're 39.

1:05:21 Adam You dropped your beads.

1:05:22 Caller Let's go.

1:05:23 Adam Get in that VW van. Get in that micro bus and hit the skids.

1:05:26 Caller What's your brother?

1:05:27 Caller Boom.

1:05:29 Adam He made it awesome. And just yelling, yeah.

1:05:32 Caller Get out.

1:05:33 Adam Go on. Shoo.

1:05:33 Caller Yeah.

1:05:34 Adam Like, you know, we're trying to break up a bird colony.

1:05:36 Caller Yeah. Go on now. Yeah.

1:05:40 Drew All right. Rounding cattle.

1:05:42 Adam Yeah. That would be that would be the graduation.

1:05:46 Drew Leo, 21.

1:05:48 Caller Yes. I had a quick question. Kind of an odd experience happened to me. I was out with a friend and we we were going on a road trip to Philadelphia and we stayed at a motel and all we could get is a single bed. They didn't have doubles or you know, two beds. So we stayed in one and later that night I kind of felt something near the genital area and I figured out he had his hand on my pants and I was just kind of curious whether I should confront him about it or if I should let it go. I mean I assumed this guy was straight because he's been my friend for a long time, but now I've.

1:06:34 Drew What's your deal?

1:06:36 Caller I'm straight.

1:06:40 Adam Are you from, you bogus? You smell bogus to me. Yeah.

1:06:47 Drew Yeah, let's put it this way.

1:06:49 Adam Doesn't seem like much here.

1:06:50 Drew Right, so you put your guys' hands down the pants. What did you do?

1:06:53 Caller Well, I.

1:06:53 Adam I don't want to know if I should confirm.

1:06:54 Caller I sort of like jolted, so he turned away real fast.

1:07:00 Drew And this was at what time of day?

1:07:01 Caller It was at night.

1:07:03 Drew Middle of the night. Yeah, middle of the night. Woke you up from a dead sleep.

1:07:06 Caller Yeah.

1:07:08 Adam What were you wearing?

1:07:10 Caller I had on a T-shirt and sweatpants.

1:07:14 Drew And you woke back up and you rolled aside and just pretended to go back to sleep?

1:07:17 Caller Yeah, because I didn't want to, that would be awkward if I would, you know, What are you doing?

1:07:22 Drew Awkward, awkward to say the guy could knock it off after he's just tried to rape you. That'd be awkward.

1:07:27 Adam He got, well, it would be. You got his hand down your sweatpants?

1:07:30 Caller Yeah.

1:07:32 Adam You didn't wake up, huh?

1:07:33 Caller Well, I did wake up because I, I mean, obviously I did because I felt it, but.

1:07:39 Adam Did you have an erection?

1:07:41 Caller No.

1:07:42 Drew You're 21, you have a girlfriend?

1:07:44 Caller No, not, I recently broke up.

1:07:48 Adam Cause he's gay.

1:07:49 Caller So not single at this, at this moment.

1:07:52 Adam You, what were you going to Philadelphia with this guy for?

1:07:56 Caller We were going back for graduation with a, we have a good friend, we've been friends for a long time. And we have another friend that graduated from Penn.

1:08:05 Caller All right, losers, now break it up.

1:08:08 Adam That's, that's my junior job.

1:08:09 Caller Oh, not a Penn. Oh, not a Penn.

1:08:10 Adam No, no, I'm just talking about, I'm still back at junior college. Yeah, of course.

1:08:14 Caller Yeah!

1:08:18 Caller Let's go.

1:08:20 Adam All right, so.

1:08:22 Drew So listen, here's the let it ride. Some, you know, you learn something about your friend, don't be along with him.

1:08:29 Adam Yeah.

1:08:29 Drew He's into whatever he's into. He's really your friend, been a friend for a long time.

1:08:34 Adam Drew.

1:08:34 Drew Yeah.

1:08:35 Adam Is there a percentage of guys that are not gay that are capable of this kind of maneuver?

1:08:42 Drew Yes.

1:08:42 Adam There are.

1:08:43 Drew I believe that. I think they actually, usually have some trauma history themselves, sexual trauma, sometimes.

1:08:50 Adam This is capable of putting the hand down, the sweaty hands of the guy. Yeah.

1:08:53 Drew These guys that are not gay but have sex with men. There is such a thing. And there's sort of a spectrum between gay and not gay but have sex with men. Of guys that's sort of like kind of screwed with, they're kind of not quite clear, they get an opportunity, they kind of don't know the boundaries very well.

1:09:09 Adam Then there's a group that has sex with women but are gay. They call them publicists.

1:09:15 Drew Oh. Nice.

1:09:16 Adam Yes. Many of course are gay but then there's the group, subgroup that actually are married and have relations with women that are actually gay.

1:09:26 Drew Do you have a publicist now?

1:09:27 Adam Yes, I do. I wish I didn't. It's a long, long story.

1:09:31 Drew He's not a bad guy, is he?

1:09:33 Adam I don't know. I've never spoken to him.

1:09:35 Drew I've spoken to some of those guys that work for their nice guys.

1:09:38 Adam I don't like publicists.

1:09:40 Drew You don't like what they do.

1:09:41 Adam I'm sure they were nice Nazis.

1:09:43 Drew Okay.

1:09:43 Adam You know what I'm saying? They're guys that got sucked into the SS. They were scared they were going to get shot or the families were going to be hurt. So they just got sucked into it. You know what I'm saying? Doesn't mean you have to like them. You know what I'm saying? Publicists are bad people.

1:09:59 Drew But let me say that I've got to come to my publicist.

1:10:01 Adam Here's the thing. They're like meter maids. Everyone says, everyone defends meter maids. Ah, they're just doing their job. They're just doing their chicken ass job that they don't have to do.

1:10:12 Drew I do a lot of news. And this woman...

1:10:14 Adam You say nudes?

1:10:14 Drew News. News, news. And she has relations with all the different news editors and...

1:10:19 Adam Sexual relations.

1:10:20 Drew And she's able to sort of help. It's almost like an assistant. She organizes the stories and things and helps me decide where I'm going to go. It's helpful. It's very helpful. And she knows the people that we're doing this for and stuff. I could not do it myself.

1:10:32 Adam There are people that lack character and dignity. If they had an ounce of dignity, they'd be doing something else. One ounce, one shred of character, they'd be doing something else. And instead, they're barnacles on the ass of show business. That's really what they are. Publicists everybody. Yes, I have one. It's a long, long story. I haven't wanted them for about five years. Is it Cafferalli? I don't even know who. Oh, is it Bragman, Niemann and Cafferalli? I don't even know. I've never spoken to them. Drew, believe me, I've never spoken to them. Never. Never.

1:11:11 Drew That's how we get people on the show and deals with publicists.

1:11:14 Adam That's how we get people not to come on the show as those JO publicists. They're just they're bad people. Look, here's the thing. They don't do anything for a living. Do you know what I'm saying? And I know as a doctor, Drew, you don't respect that. We don't do anything for a living either, but at least I'm a carpenter. And at least you're a doctor. You see what I'm saying? These people, they don't do anything. If this was 100 years ago, 50 years ago, they'd be gone.

1:11:41 Drew Well, this is bad. At least they aren't standing around arguing about ridiculous things like the people in suits make $150,000 a year. We talked about earlier tonight. Arguing about nothing. In fact, bogging down the system. They don't bog it down so much, so much.

1:11:54 Adam Okay. Oh, yes, they do. Here's all I'm saying. I think people judge their worth by how much they make a year, not by what they contribute or what they actually do.

1:12:03 Drew Unfortunately, that's true.

1:12:04 Adam I have much more respect for the guys who make $30,000 a year swinging a hammer than the publicists who make $200,000 a year doing nothing. Thank you. Take a Chris is nodding his head over there. And I have much more respect for engineer Chris who makes, well, let's see. Let's do some quick math here.

1:12:21 Drew Two hours a night.

1:12:22 Adam Ten bucks an hour. Yeah, it's 20 bucks a shift. Five nights a week. Oh, he's not here all five nights. No, we hear four nights, three or four nights, three nights. OK, that's 60 bucks a week. That's 120. It's 240 a month. Two times 12. It makes about 3000.

1:12:42 Caller That's why I live with my mom, dude.

1:12:44 Adam But I'm telling you, in a few short years, your mom will be living with you because that's how it works when you get near 30s.

1:12:50 Drew He's gambling on that.

1:12:51 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:12:52 Drew He's aiming for that. How is this going to work? What do you expect?

1:12:54 Adam That's how it's going to work.

1:12:55 Drew Three grand a year. Come on.

1:12:56 Adam Yeah. Let's take ourselves a little break. And then and then taxes taken out of that. We'll take ourselves a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:13:06 Caller Thank you for calling Loveline. Your call will be answered in the order it seems interesting.

1:13:16 Caller The one and only, Live 105.

1:13:24 Adam It's Loveline, everybody. I'll tell you, I believe everything happens for a reason. And that's why I have to get it on. Yes.

1:13:34 Drew Yes, indeed.

1:13:35 Adam Ready to get it on, Drew?

1:13:36 Drew I am. And I'm still begging people to turn on Discovery Health Channel on Wednesday. Don't forget to check your local listing. I think it's 11 o'clock Chicago, midnight East Coast, 9 o'clock West Coast.

1:13:46 Adam Chicago? Why Chicago?

1:13:48 Drew Why am I talking to Chicago? We're talking to them. We came on there tonight.

1:13:53 Adam I know, but, you know, just check it out. Is that the TiVo, everyone?

1:13:57 Drew Not everyone has a TiVo. What?

1:13:59 Caller What?

1:14:00 Drew That's hard for you to believe.

1:14:01 Caller Wow.

1:14:02 Adam Wow. Why bother having, you know, 55-inch plasma if you're not going to have TiVo, Drew? You know what I mean?

1:14:10 Caller Yeah.

1:14:10 Adam And then the whole surround sound system with the big subwoofer and mega bass.

1:14:15 Drew Doesn't make sense, does it?

1:14:16 Caller No.

1:14:18 Adam I mean, everyone has.

1:14:18 Drew Everyone's got that.

1:14:20 Adam Well, why have the satellite dish with the three feeds if you don't have that and get the MLB package?

1:14:27 Drew That's what I'm just saying.

1:14:29 Adam Drew, you know what would drive you insane?

1:14:31 Caller What?

1:14:32 Adam Remember when my idiot buddy Daniel stayed at my house?

1:14:36 Drew Yeah.

1:14:36 Adam I got an extra house. My buddy stayed at it.

1:14:38 Drew Yeah.

1:14:39 Adam He he ordered up he ordered up the Major League Baseball package, which is one of those things where you can't get out of it.

1:14:46 Drew What's your end?

1:14:46 Adam I'm cheap. Even though I spent a ton of money on nonsense, there's something about the 250 bucks. And I don't like baseball anyway. I never watch it. And watching it on TV is ridiculous. Anyway, the point is, is he ordered this thing and then moved out of the house six months later, and that was five years ago. And I've been paying for the package.

1:15:06 Drew You didn't know it.

1:15:07 Adam No, just I'm paying the 300 bucks every year.

1:15:09 Drew No one's there.

1:15:10 Adam Every year. Never seen one pitch of one game ever.

1:15:14 Drew I jump off the bridge.

1:15:15 Adam And caught it at game number five of season number four. And said, I got to cancel this. And they're like, oh no, can't do it.

1:15:24 Drew Not too late.

1:15:24 Adam You're already in for it.

1:15:25 Drew For the season.

1:15:26 Adam Can't do it. You guys automatically, I didn't sign up, you know, you guys automatically, such a scam, by the way. So to pay for a fourth season, I wasn't watching that I didn't sign up for. Don't you think there's, there's if you really brought these things to, you got to the Supreme Court with certain things, you would win.

1:15:47 Drew You would think.

1:15:48 Adam Like, look, you am I first signed me up. I didn't sign.

1:15:52 Drew A lot of things don't make sense on this society based on laws.

1:15:54 Adam You renewed it automatically. I didn't renew it. And now I can't get out of it because you renewed it. Oh, interesting. And by the way, this is why everyone with their policies. Yeah, it's policy.

1:16:06 Caller What are you going to do?

1:16:07 Drew Your policy is not to pay it.

1:16:10 Adam I just. Amanda?

1:16:13 Caller Yes.

1:16:15 Adam What's happening?

1:16:16 Caller Nothing.

1:16:17 Drew There you go.

1:16:19 Caller Okay. My question is, my boyfriend and I decided to try something totally new. And I used one of my toys on him. And ever since he's been complaining of like really bad stomach cramps.

1:16:32 Drew I have a million questions. Whose idea was this?

1:16:35 Caller It was kind of a mutual thing. Like we were just, boy, I wanted to try something new.

1:16:38 Drew No. That's not how that kind of thing goes down. Somebody has to have some momentum with this. Who had it?

1:16:46 Caller I have to say mostly him then.

1:16:48 Drew Yeah. So he wanted you to do this. That's kind of figured.

1:16:51 Adam What kind of toy?

1:16:53 Caller Just like a regular vibrator.

1:16:55 Drew He's gay. That is not something a guy would normally come forward with unless he really wanted you to do that. You know what I mean? That's not something like, I'm bored. Why don't you put something up? Try it over here.

1:17:05 Adam Yeah.

1:17:05 Drew It's like, come on. That's not an, I'm bored maneuver. That's a, here's my chance maneuver.

1:17:11 Adam Yeah.

1:17:11 Drew Yeah.

1:17:12 Adam Yeah.

1:17:12 Drew All right. Now here's the deal. If he has cramps persistent, either any number of serious medical problems he can cause tears in the colon. He could have peritonitis. He could have an abscess, perirectal abscess.

1:17:24 Adam How?

1:17:25 Drew And he knows many different things. He needs to see a doctor immediately.

1:17:28 Adam There was no strap-on action here. This is all just three on the tree, as we like to say. You know what I mean? That's a column shift.

1:17:38 Caller Yeah.

1:17:40 Drew It's an old term.

1:17:42 Adam Well, you know, it's...

1:17:44 Drew No, don't. Okay.

1:17:46 Adam Look at Chris every once in a while.

1:17:48 Drew I remember three in the tree.

1:17:49 Adam Yeah.

1:17:50 Drew The H, the back part was the reverse.

1:17:52 Adam I never drove a car like that, but old trucks and stuff, old cars used to have the column shift as opposed to...

1:17:57 Drew Three in the tree was just any three speed.

1:17:58 Adam Yeah, yeah. Old cars, yeah, as opposed to four on the floor.

1:18:02 Drew Yeah.

1:18:03 Caller Yeah.

1:18:05 Adam So I'm guessing non-strap-on, I like to call three on the tree. So, Amanda. Yes. And what size batteries did this column shift take?

1:18:17 Caller They were just AA.

1:18:20 Drew AA.

1:18:20 Adam All right. Better than the C.

1:18:22 Drew Why?

1:18:24 Adam Well, the diameter.

1:18:25 Drew Just the width, I see.

1:18:26 Adam Yeah, diameter. Because I could fit, you know, basically a handful of AA's up me, where C's I could fit like four.

1:18:31 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:18:32 Caller Well, I mean, it was kind of a larger, that was an eight-incher.

1:18:37 Adam Eight-incher, okay. And did you use lubrication?

1:18:41 Caller Yeah.

1:18:42 Adam Okay. All right. And what-

1:18:45 Drew Why are you not taking him to the doctor?

1:18:48 Caller He doesn't want to go. He's scared to go.

1:18:51 Adam Yeah. Well, look, Drew, this is like when a guy in the Mafia gets shot. Do you know what I mean?

1:18:58 Drew Yeah.

1:18:58 Adam Well, you're not just going to the emergency hospital. They have questions.

1:19:01 Drew He's blowing the cover.

1:19:02 Adam Yeah.

1:19:03 Drew Well.

1:19:04 Caller Yeah.

1:19:06 Adam Cramps. How long ago was this?

1:19:08 Caller This was two weeks ago.

1:19:11 Drew It could be pretty serious.

1:19:12 Caller It could be.

1:19:12 Caller He doesn't have the pain so much right now as he did.

1:19:15 Caller I mean, like after it happened, he actually like cried. It hurt him so bad. And he was kind of afraid that it was like intestinal damage.

1:19:23 Caller Yeah.

1:19:23 Drew He might have torn his colon. He could be peritonitis. He could have an abscess.

1:19:26 Adam What would what would your wouldn't your stool be peculiar?

1:19:30 Drew Not necessarily. No.

1:19:31 Adam No. Because I focus on mine.

1:19:33 Drew I know you do.

1:19:34 Adam Like tea leaves.

1:19:35 Drew As I told you, I witnessed where the human invented the coil pots.

1:19:39 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:19:39 Drew It wasn't with clay.

1:19:40 Adam Drew was jogging and found a coil of duke.

1:19:42 Drew Jogging, I found a little hideout of a homeless guy. And man, there was that coil pot.

1:19:48 Adam They actually fashioned.

1:19:49 Drew Fashioned a coil pot of duke.

1:19:51 Adam Really?

1:19:52 Drew Yeah.

1:19:52 Adam So I make a slab pot of duke and sometimes a pinch pot of duke. And I fire it in the by digging a hole to a rye coo method.

1:20:02 Drew You call it rye coo?

1:20:03 Adam Probably Indian Indians.

1:20:04 Drew You call it rye coo poo?

1:20:05 Adam Rye coo poo. Yeah. If you just you got to get the oak where it seems to work the best. But birch or any other hardwood will work. Works well.

1:20:14 Drew Hickory rye coo poo?

1:20:15 Adam Hickory rye coo poo. Yeah. Awesome kid's book.

1:20:19 Caller All right.

1:20:19 Adam Bring him into the hospital.

1:20:21 Caller Yes.

1:20:21 Drew Well, not the hospital necessarily, but a doctor for sure. Somewhere we can maybe doesn't feel scrutinized. But he probably has a CAT scan and maybe a barium enema or colonoscopy.

1:20:29 Adam What's barium enema going to do? You mean that you could do the barium enema and it cleans everything out?

1:20:33 Drew No, barium enema you see, you really see what's going on the inside of the colon.

1:20:37 Adam Do you do the barium enema and then mix that, combine that with an MRI?

1:20:41 Drew Well, the reason I'm thinking of a barium enema is sometimes you can see, you know, barium fills the colon if there's little leaks and things.

1:20:47 Adam What do you use to see it?

1:20:48 Drew You might do what's called a high-peg enema. It's a barium liquid basically, or a high-peg. It's a little lower density.

1:20:55 Adam How do you see it when you read it?

1:20:57 Drew X-ray.

1:20:57 Adam Just straight X-ray.

1:20:59 Drew It's an enema. Fill your colon with the stuff and then you take pictures.

1:21:02 Adam But the pictures are just a straight X-ray?

1:21:04 Drew Straight X-rays. Those were the only thing we had before colonoscopy is MRIs and CT scans. And now something like this, you might do something to see if there's any leak in the colon.

1:21:13 Caller John.

1:21:15 Caller Yeah, what's up?

1:21:16 Adam Big John Man boobs. What's up?

1:21:18 Caller Yeah, it's been going on for about four years.

1:21:22 Caller I've had them.

1:21:22 Caller Bouncy, bouncy.

1:21:24 Caller Yeah, that's funny.

1:21:25 Caller I don't know if there's anything I can do to get rid of them.

1:21:30 Drew There is a surgery. First, I'd suggest you lose weight. What do you weigh?

1:21:34 Caller I'm about 250, 602.

1:21:37 Drew You're fat. You could lose 20, 30 pounds, right?

1:21:39 Adam You could lose 50 pounds. I mean, look, if you look at one of those body mass index things, six two guys are supposed to be 185, like 179 and stuff. It's crazy.

1:21:50 Drew Yeah. And do you take any steroids or supplements, anything like that?

1:21:55 Caller Oh, no, no. All right.

1:21:56 Drew Smoking a lot of pot. Just asking Adam.

1:21:58 Caller Just 16.

1:22:01 Caller I'm clean.

1:22:02 Drew All right. So I'm not sure they would do the surgery at your age because sometimes it remits. Or your weight. Yeah. You have to lose some weight a couple more years down the line. This thing kind of tends to get better on its own, but there is a liposuction that they'll do sometimes, and sometimes they can actually cut the breast tissue if there's a lot of glandular material there.

1:22:18 Adam John.

1:22:18 Drew Paleplastic surgeon would be able to handle that.

1:22:20 Adam Are you athletic?

1:22:22 Caller Yeah. I'm a swimmer.

1:22:25 Adam Swimmer?

1:22:28 Drew What do you swim? What event?

1:22:32 Caller What do you mean?

1:22:33 Drew What event do you swim?

1:22:34 Caller I just swim. I do the breaststroke, ironically enough.

1:22:41 Adam So you're in a Speedo, 250 pounds?

1:22:44 Caller No, they don't do that anymore. It's the public school weenie kids have cried out the humiliation in the Speedo line too many times.

1:22:52 Adam So what are you wearing? Like cycling shorts?

1:22:55 Caller Yeah, pretty much.

1:22:58 Adam Stuffing extra like a bar rag or something in there before you hit the pool?

1:23:02 Caller No.

1:23:03 Adam I wouldn't care if it slowed me down. I'd want to look good standing up on that thing, you know, where you dive off of. Yeah. All right. John, 250 pounds, unless you're just some sort of physical specimen in your old muscle, which probably probably probably should lose a few pounds. Secondly, maybe the swim team is not the best place for Aquaman boobs to to be at. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Let's try the football team. You get to wear shoulder pads, jersey, you'd be big. Plenty of guys who play ball, play football, they got man boobs. Sure. There's nose tackles, they're 350 pounds and stuff, but they just ain't wearing speedo and standing up in front of God and everyone.

1:23:43 Drew They're badass.

1:23:44 Adam Yeah. So here's the thing, go on a diet, consult a plastic surgeon and maybe in a couple of years you do it.

1:23:54 Drew Yeah.

1:23:54 Adam All right. We'll take a quick break. Be right back after this.

1:23:58 Caller This is your radio.

1:24:00 Caller Loveline will be right back.

1:24:05 Caller The one and only Live 105.

1:24:26 Caller Hey, everybody, Loveline, Get It On. Yeah.

1:24:34 Drew We're talking about man boobs, and here's a guy, Mark, who's 23, has had the man-boob surgery.

1:24:38 Caller Mark?

1:24:39 Caller Yeah.

1:24:41 Adam How did the man-boob surgery go?

1:24:43 Caller It was a little rough, actually.

1:24:45 Adam Yeah.

1:24:46 Caller Yeah, I didn't like it too much.

1:24:48 Adam Yeah.

1:24:49 Drew You didn't like the results, or you didn't like the misery of the procedure?

1:24:52 Caller The misery of the procedure. The result is fantastic.

1:24:54 Drew All right.

1:24:55 Adam Now tell us your man-boob story.

1:24:58 Caller Well, all right. So I was, I don't know, I was a pretty tall, lean kid growing up. Then I got into Nintendo, started sitting around on the inside a lot, and then started to get a little chubby. And then as I got older, I started to grow up, and I got rid of my flab everywhere else except for my chest, and it continued to just get bigger. And so I basically went to the doctor and asked, you know, is there any way that I can get rid of these, you know, and he's looking at me. I'm a pretty lean guy. I had about 15% body fat, and that was including the man breasts. So they ended up having no other option, but I went on to the next gauge of 16.

1:25:35 Caller Wow.

1:25:36 Caller And had them taken out, and now I'm 23, and I've had no signs of them come back ever since.

1:25:40 Drew And he did- Did they do liposuction, or did they actually do a mastectomy?

1:25:44 Caller They did incision underneath each nipple and did liposuction.

1:25:48 Caller All right.

1:25:49 Caller Mm-hmm. Lipo.

1:25:50 Caller All right.

1:25:50 Caller Yeah, liposuction, that's the way to get it done.

1:25:51 Adam Yeah. All right. And it worked out, and you're happy with it.

1:25:54 Caller Definitely, definitely.

1:25:56 Adam Good. Here's the deal. Thank you. Again, we keep getting back to this theme, but just genetics. He's 16, he's got man boobs. That's it. Some guys start going bald at 22. Some people have a mono brown, a brillo head.

1:26:11 Drew But why? What'd you do to create that? What did you eat?

1:26:16 Adam Better yet, how about the folks that don't have the mono brown, the brillo head writing books on how not to have a mono brown, a brillo head? What could be more absurd? Hey, Kathy Ireland's going to write a book about what it's like to be hot. That's what all you retard models out there. Don't write a book on how to be hot. That's impossible. It's really it's like Michael Jordan writing a book on how to dunk a basketball. Here's you got to be a brother. You got to be 6'8, and you have to have a 43-inch vertical leap. That's how you dunk a basketball. No reading that's going to get my ass up there to dunk that basketball. So instead of supermodels writing all these workout books and routine books and all these books about how to become one, why don't you just write books on what it's like to be hot? That's what you should do.

1:27:06 Drew Yeah, but the life is... Yeah, that'd be interesting.

1:27:08 Adam That's really what your book... That's about all you can comment on.

1:27:12 Drew But that would actually be interesting.

1:27:14 Adam It would be.

1:27:14 Drew What's their first-person perception of what's happening to them. Yes. And we'd be able to sort of see it through the prism of how we experience them.

1:27:21 Adam Yes.

1:27:21 Drew Versus how they experience themselves.

1:27:23 Adam Don't write a book on how to be 5'11 and beautiful calf muscles and a tight ass and a chin with a clef in it, because it makes... By the way, you writing that book makes all the fat chicks feel worse about themselves because it implies that they could be doing something.

1:27:38 Drew On the other hand, it would be interesting to know when they first knew, what it was first like when guys started reacting to them and what happened.

1:27:44 Adam They would write, but the book would be BS, because it would be the usual, I was a tomboy, I know how to become a model, a friend of mine signed me up for a competition.

1:27:51 Drew We get one of them to really sit down and really give a pretty rendition. I couldn't get a prom date.

1:27:55 Adam Somebody would do it.

1:27:57 Drew Somebody would give a real story. And then, what's it like to be a celebrity at 19, but not be a celebrity?

1:28:02 Adam Ask Chris.

1:28:03 Caller Yeah.

1:28:05 Drew We're asking. What's the question?

1:28:09 Adam He's an engineer. He can't figure out how to turn on his own mic.

1:28:11 Caller So I got it.

1:28:12 Adam He's sick.

1:28:14 Drew He's disgusted with you tonight.

1:28:15 Adam You know what the question is?

1:28:16 Caller No.

1:28:17 Adam Okay. Relax, buddy. It's got congestion. It's got an inner ear problem.

1:28:20 Drew Yeah. Sorry for the kids.

1:28:22 Adam Becky?

1:28:23 Caller Yeah.

1:28:24 Adam 15?

1:28:25 Caller Yeah.

1:28:25 Adam You're dating a 21 year old guy?

1:28:27 Caller Yeah.

1:28:29 Adam You know it's wrong, but you can't get out of it?

1:28:31 Caller No, it's not that. It's like the past few weeks, I've been just wondering if it's healthy or not for me.

1:28:36 Drew Not. Definitely not. When you're 21 and you think of one of your peers at 21 dating a 15 year old, you will wretch.

1:28:42 Adam She's an old 15 and he's a young 21.

1:28:44 Drew Whatever. You will absolutely wretch. It will be shocking to you. You will not... You will be able to creep out every time you think of it.

1:28:54 Caller Well, everything's fine, though. Like, it's not...

1:28:57 Drew I'm just saying the 21 year old guy who would date a 15 year old is a... Something's wrong with him.

1:29:02 Adam Well, everything happens.

1:29:03 Drew It's not you.

1:29:04 Adam I believe everything happens for a reason.

1:29:06 Drew Who we're worried about.

1:29:07 Adam What grade are you in, Becky?

1:29:09 Caller Ninth.

1:29:10 Adam Oh, 15 and... Oh, that's ninth too.

1:29:13 Drew Yeah, I'll put it this way. 21, I was in my second year medical school. First year medical school. I was dating a ninth grader. No. No.

1:29:21 Adam What'd you do? You graduated college?

1:29:23 Drew I was 20 when I graduated from college. 20? I think I was 17, 18, 19. I think I was 20.

1:29:28 Adam You're supposed to... Don't you start when you're 18? When's your birthday?

1:29:31 Drew You're asked when.

1:29:32 Adam What are you? Sagittarius?

1:29:33 Drew September.

1:29:34 Adam Sag?

1:29:35 Drew No, Virgo.

1:29:35 Adam Sag, Virgo. I know it. I totally know it. It's your show, Virgo.

1:29:38 Drew But, Becky, the point is it's just totally out of line. And when you're 21, you'll understand why. At 15, it's... You know, this was...

1:29:45 Caller I mean, you guys don't know it, which I'm sure every 15-year-old that would be with a 21-year-old would say, but yet again, nobody knows how a relationship is. Like, it's not a normal 15, 21-year-old. I mean, he's not, like, way older and I'm not, like, way younger. It's not...

1:30:03 Adam Hold on one second.

1:30:03 Drew Exactly.

1:30:05 Adam This is the other tub of crap everyone is passing around in society. It's like, you don't know unless you've been... You don't... You can't see... Nobody has the right to because you don't... You've never... Until you've walked a mile in her training bra, you know, BS. You're in the ninth grade. He graduated or should have graduated high school three years ago.

1:30:26 Drew This is what I was... I've been sort of... It's funny, I was yelling at my producers for this Discovery Health Channel show. I said, I don't care what these subjects think about what they're doing. Right. They have not... They have not experts in this. Of course. They can't be objective about it. They're having an experience. I understand, I value their experience, but I don't want their interpretation of it because they're not trained to understand it.

1:30:46 Adam Go, girl.

1:30:46 Drew And so, like a 15-year-old telling us exactly how it really is, that has no validity. It's a zero. It's an empty set.

1:30:52 Adam No, it's like we're mechanics. She's bringing her car in and she's going to tell us how it is.

1:30:57 Drew Right. Exactly. She's not in position to do that.

1:30:59 Adam No, she's not. Becky? Yeah. Speaking of position, are you guys having sex?

1:31:04 Caller Yeah.

1:31:05 Drew It was a criminal, too, on top of that. There's a reason the laws are in place the way they are.

1:31:09 Adam Do your parents know about this?

1:31:10 Caller Yeah.

1:31:11 Drew Oh.

1:31:13 Adam What does this guy do?

1:31:14 Caller That's exactly why, though. Like, he's not a normal 21-year-old.

1:31:20 Drew No kidding.

1:31:21 Caller Oh, I mean, he's not...

1:31:22 Adam No, you're right. Normal 21-year-olds are with other 21-year-olds.

1:31:26 Drew And are retching at the guys that are with a 14-year-old, 15-year-old, ninth grader.

1:31:30 Adam Well... Becky, what does he do for a living?

1:31:34 Caller He's a gas attendant.

1:31:36 Adam All right.

1:31:37 Drew Gas attendant?

1:31:38 Adam He works at a gas station. And by the way, he just sits behind the bulletproof glass and gives people change.

1:31:45 Caller In Oregon, they have to, they have to...

1:31:47 Adam Yeah, so they have to pull the bulletproof over there. So Becky...

1:31:51 Drew He doesn't jump out in a little bow tie and run around the car and squeegee things.

1:31:54 Adam And Oregon, they have to pump it.

1:31:57 Drew Just pump a gas squeegee for you?

1:31:59 Adam Hey, check the oil. It's reason enough to move. All right, Becky, well, we're not going to talk you out of this, but what about your parents? Aren't they upset?

1:32:07 Caller No, actually, my mom actually gets along with him pretty well.

1:32:12 Drew Because where's your dad?

1:32:14 Caller My dad is like off and on in my life. He's somewhere.

1:32:18 Adam Well, you got a new daddy. He pumps gas and a little ass. All right, so what are you bothering us for?

1:32:27 Caller Well, as I was saying, if you told me it's not healthy, and that's what my question was.

1:32:32 Adam Not healthy. That's your answer.

1:32:35 Drew Illegal, not healthy, and it's to protect you. You will one day understand why.

1:32:41 Adam Okay. How much is gas a gallon over there in Oregon? Because they pump it for you.

1:32:47 Caller Two to fifteen.

1:32:49 Adam Cheaper. And is it a law they must pump it for you?

1:32:53 Caller Yeah.

1:32:54 Drew Why?

1:32:55 Adam I can't remember. It was explained to us at some point.

1:32:57 Drew I can't remember that at all.

1:32:58 Adam Here, there's a law that the guy can't even smile when you pump it.

1:33:02 Caller Right.

1:33:03 Adam Here, if others...

1:33:05 Drew But he's required to yell at you.

1:33:06 Adam There's eye contact and then every once in a while through the loudspeaker, no, it's just pump five.

1:33:13 Caller No, no, turn the, no, it's just not pump, turn, turn the car.

1:33:18 Adam Have a horrible day. That's how they end every conversation with having a wretched day. Take a quick break. Be right back after this.

1:34:06 Drew I'm still begging people to tune in on Wednesday.

1:34:09 Adam Don't beg, Drew.

1:34:10 Drew All right, I command all of you within the sound of my voice. Discovery Health Channel, nine to midnight.

1:34:14 Adam I would worry that there'd be too many people watching.

1:34:17 Drew I'm worried about that.

1:34:18 Adam Yeah, all right. We'll take ourselves a little extendo 22-hour break, and until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, mahalo. Yeah, you, yeah, Mitsu.

1:34:30 Caller Yeah. Yeah. No, you're cool.

1:34:32 Adam You're over there from, I don't know where the hell you're from.

1:34:34 Caller You're Asian?

1:34:35 Drew All right.

1:34:35 Adam Fine. Stay on.

1:34:37 Drew Make sure you get those UCLA application in.

1:34:39 Adam There's a student.

1:34:39 Drew Yeah.

1:34:40 Caller It's your back.

1:34:41 Caller You're 39.

1:34:42 Adam You dropped your beads.

1:34:43 Caller Let's go. Get in that VW van.

1:34:45 Adam Get in that micro bus and hit the skids with your brother.

1:34:48 Caller Boom.

1:34:51 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:34:55 Adam The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station.

1:35:03 Caller The producer for Loveline is Aningold.

1:35:05 Adam Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Monday, June 6, 2005