Episode 1000713138113

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

1:01 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:07 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:13 Voiceover This is Loveline. With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. Hey, everybody. I'm Adam Carolla. That's Dr. Drew. It's Loveline, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew is a board-certified physician. Oh, yes, an addiction medicine specialist. Drew's show is on tonight.

1:36 Drew Yeah.

1:36 Adam Big show premiering on Discovery Health.

1:39 Drew I just made Adam watch it.

1:40 Adam I watched 45 seconds of it. I laughed, I cried, I belched, I passed the wind.

1:46 Drew I crapped yourself. It was great.

1:48 Adam It was awesome. The set looked good. You look good. The camera loves you, Drew.

1:52 Drew Thank you, Adam.

1:53 Adam The mic hates you. But the camera really is a fan. The mic's like, ehh.

1:58 Drew Why are you complaining about me being quiet all the time then? Shhh. See? See?

2:02 Adam See how it works? Yeah, Drew's show is, when is it on? It's on tonight.

2:07 Drew It's on Wednesdays at midnight. It was on tonight, just finished. You guys, I need to feel the love of the Loveline listeners. So please just, when we finish up tonight, tune in on Discovery Health Channel and go ahead and write a little email to discoveryhealth.com. Any positive feedback will be greatly appreciated.

2:23 Adam Nothing negative, though.

2:24 Drew Whatever.

2:25 Adam Nothing negative. Well, they will read that stuff and it hurts.

2:27 Drew It freaks me out. Yeah, it does freak me out.

2:29 Adam Yeah. No, I, listen, I saw Drew do a couple of man on the streets. He conducted himself like a pro. And if you're interested in information, sexuality, aren't we all?

2:41 Drew Oh, yeah.

2:43 Adam And a little lighthearted comedy. That's the show to watch. It looked good.

2:47 Drew Scarborough Health Channel at midnight.

2:48 Adam All right. Let's see. Wants to know more about the spinal cord stimulators.

2:52 Drew This is something that came off the show, I think. Oh, really?

2:55 Adam David?

2:56 Caller Yeah, it's right here. Drew.

2:58 Drew Yeah.

2:59 The spinal cord stimulator, is that just for a female or is it male, too?

3:02 Adam What do you do with that thing?

3:03 Drew Is that what you saw on the show tonight?

3:05 Yes, I did.

3:06 Adam Drew has no spine, so it's kind of tough for him to comment on it. His wife took it many, many years ago. I believe she still has it intact.

3:13 Drew No.

3:15 Adam I saw a kid skipping rope with it just a few months back.

3:19 Drew We showed a piece about a anesthesiologist putting in spinal stimulators to help women have orgasm. These things have to be implanted into the spine, into the spinal column.

3:28 Adam Was it originally designed for that?

3:30 Drew No, it was a side effect of spinal stimulators for chronic pain. And they found on the one table one day, they were sort of turning the stimulator on to help with the pain. As women started having orgasms, they went, huh?

3:40 Adam Awesome. Sounds like a Cinemax movie.

3:43 Drew I know, it's crazy. And you should see the footage of it. If you're really interested, watch tonight.

3:47 Adam Well, is it, it's implanted and there's nothing that protrudes from the skin?

3:52 Drew Eventually, there's a trial run where something's hanging out of you, and then they implant it permanently.

3:57 Adam Because they don't want to commit to completely implanting it?

4:00 Drew It's a serious procedure, and it's not really been approved for this work yet. Are you, David, you have trouble having orgasm?

4:06 I'm not really. I get to push a button and have one mouth of it.

4:09 Drew Oh, dude. It's about that easy for a man anyway, right?

4:12 Okay, yeah.

4:13 Adam Yeah, you don't have to push the button, but you have to take the joystick and move it up and down about eight or nine times, and you will achieve an orgasm.

4:20 Drew This is the whole push of it.

4:21 Adam It's the new season of Reno.

4:23 Drew And the fact is, it's for women, and it's not yet been approved for this. That particular anesthesiologist I was interviewing wants to start doing it all over the world. He goes, I want to put in centers in Las Vegas and Amsterdam. I was like, oh my god. I brought in a neurosurgeon who was sort of a fan.

4:36 Adam Do no harm. Yeah. And is it powered by a battery?

4:42 Drew Basically, yeah.

4:43 Adam Does the battery have to be changed?

4:44 Drew I'm sure. I didn't ask that question, but I'm sure it does.

4:46 Adam You didn't ask that question? What kind of crappy show are you doing?

4:49 Drew It's the same as a pacemaker, you know, or the spinal stimulator they would use for chronic pain. They have to be recharged once a month.

4:54 Adam Well, how does it work with a pacemaker? I mean, it must have some sort of space-age lithium, night-head or whatever battery.

5:03 Drew Well, it depends on how often it discharges and are you just writing for belay-tion or is it for actual chronic pacing? I think they last about five years.

5:11 Adam So one that's for chronic pacing, meaning constantly adjusting the rhythm of the heart?

5:19 Drew I think it goes about three to five years.

5:20 Adam And do you have to open the person's chest to charge it?

5:24 Drew No, you have to pull the pacemaker out and exchange it, I believe.

5:28 Adam Well, but that's not opening them up?

5:31 Drew It's just in the soft tissue. It's not like you're opening and cracking their chest. It's just a little pocket on the chest wall.

5:36 Adam Is the pacemaker, how close to the pacemaker or to the heart is the pacemaker?

5:41 Drew It's outside the chest in the muscle of the chest.

5:43 Adam Oh, really? Yeah.

5:45 Drew It's two wires go down usually into the subclavian vein here. It goes under the subclavian vein, into the vein, into the heart, and then it's just screwed into the heart muscle. And then the little pacer sits out here in the pocket.

5:56 Adam It seems like they could even charge it one day, not too far in the distant future, like through the skin.

6:02 Drew That's why I'm equivocating. That may be available right now. I know a lot of my elderly patients are getting them changed right here and there.

6:08 Adam All right. Let's talk to Elliott.

6:12 Hey, what's up?

6:13 Adam 16?

6:14 Yeah. What's up? So, the other day, I actually, I'll start this before. The other, like about three months ago, I have a little brother, he's 10 years old. And he, I walk, I was looking for him and I walk into his bathroom and he has like his underwear, his whitey tighty is like bunched up in his butt and he's like looking at himself in the mirror. And so, you know, I just kind of dismissed that and was like, okay, whatever. He's just being a weird 10 year old boy. And then my mom, like the past couple of months, she's been complaining about, she's like been losing her underwear and it's like, it's not just like regular cotton underwear, it's like lacy, lacy, like really nice underwear.

6:57 Adam Hold on a second.

6:59 Drew Feels bogus. Feels bogus, but it's interesting.

7:02 Adam Interesting twist. Mom has been complaining though to her children that she's losing her underpants.

7:08 Drew That's what feels sort of bogus.

7:08 Adam And not the cotton ones.

7:10 Drew Yes, only my lacy g-strings.

7:13 Adam Sweetie, you know the thong back ones? Daddy used to like to pull it aside when he was doing a little fudge dance. Yeah, I miss you. Have you seen that? Oh, by the way, have you done your homework?

7:27 Drew Yeah, he could do a real job with that. Oh, anyway, so yeah, come on.

7:30 Adam Elliot, who's your mom complaining to that she's losing her underwear?

7:34 She actually wasn't complaining to me. She was complaining to my older sister and my older sister is about 25.

7:43 Adam Does your older sister live at home?

7:45 Yeah.

7:46 Adam She does? Yeah.

7:47 Drew What's she doing at home?

7:48 Adam What's up?

7:50 Why is she at home?

7:51 Drew Yeah, she's 25.

7:51 Oh, well, she just goes to college in Denver where I live. So she goes to Regis University. So it's just like a drive away. So it's like she doesn't have any reason to live anywhere else.

8:05 Drew Elliot, hold on a second.

8:07 Adam Oh, Regis Philman has his own university.

8:09 Drew So affirmative with everything. It feels still it's crazy, but it does. I know it's like it's like it's like he feels relieved when he comes up with something snappy.

8:20 Adam No, but he's almost too good.

8:21 Drew Right. Right.

8:22 Adam It's like pulling a guy out of line and security because his slacks are pressed and his hair is parted and he looks he looks so much not like a guy who would do something right. He he may do something.

8:36 Drew He's been good. So we'll keep going. So what's the question?

8:40 The question is, I mean, obviously, this isn't normal behavior. But and I didn't finish my story is that Oh, please go ahead. The end of the story is is that my mom, the other, it was actually two days ago, she went into his room and caught him with a pair of a bra and a pair of panties, looking himself in the mirror.

9:04 Drew And wearing them.

9:05 Huh? Yeah, wearing them, wearing them.

9:08 Adam What's his cup size?

9:10 Drew And and when your mom discussed this with you?

9:13 No, no, no, no, definitely not. Definitely not.

9:15 Drew How did you find out about it?

9:16 My older sister.

9:17 Drew So she's the one that gets the earful.

9:19 Adam I get that brought out of the house. She's just sort of the conduit that all the crap flows through.

9:23 Drew Well, 10 is a little bit old for that stuff to be going on. If you were like four or six, there's a little more of that.

9:29 Adam Yeah.

9:30 And the thing is, is that he's always been a little bit off. I mean, he, he, it's just, it's kind of weird. And I've always had the feeling that he might be gay. But the thing is, is that if he's not gay, I'm afraid this is, like, this is even worse.

9:47 Adam Worse and gay? How dare you? How dare you act like being gay is some sort of affliction or something? I have many, many gay, actually, I don't know any gays. But the point is, is I would definitely hang with them. Oh, there's engineer Michelle, though she's just one of the guys. She's Lesba. Yeah. So here's the thing. You got to get a black friend, you got to get a gay friend, you got to get a lesbian friend, you got to get a Mexican friend.

10:16 Drew If you're going to be a radio host?

10:17 Adam If you're going to do anything, so you can always point to them. Oh, yeah. Oh, you say, oh, you know, me and Javier just went out last night and had, you know, you know what I'm saying?

10:27 Drew Whatever. I'm listening.

10:28 Adam No, my point is, is you got to have one of everyone as a friend. So when people accuse you of being racist or something, you say, tell it to my lesbian friend.

10:36 Drew Anyway, this call still feels very bogus to me. Yes, it does. I still have a very vague idea of what the question was.

10:42 Adam Yes. Elliot?

10:44 Yeah.

10:45 Drew What was the question again?

10:46 The question is, is this solid proof that he's gay or is it?

10:53 Adam Irrefutable.

10:55 Drew Okay. Now it's bogus.

10:57 Adam Yeah, this is bogus, Elliot.

10:59 Drew Well done. Well done. It's not bogus. I swear to God. Really? Well, here's the deal. Elliot, one thing. One thing. If it is bogus at the end, by Geneva Convention, you're obliged to out yourself. But we'll go with it because you've done such a great job. Yeah. And the fact is that cross-dressing does not have anything to do with sexual orientation, really. Yeah. It can be a fetish. It can be a sign of problems in sexual functioning and interpersonal conduct. It can be a sign of a little chaos in the home, too. Where's dad?

11:32 Caller My dad actually died.

11:34 Drew Yeah. So he's had some trauma recently. And that really could sort of make a kid.

11:40 Caller He was really little, though. He died when I was 12. So that's like, what, four years ago?

11:45 Drew He was six. I mean, that's a huge deal for a six-year-old.

11:47 Adam How did your dad die?

11:49 Caller How did he die? He had a heart attack.

11:52 Adam Yeah.

11:52 Drew An awful lot of that.

11:53 Adam He was a young man to have a heart attack. No, no.

11:55 Caller My dad was 56 when he died.

11:58 Drew That's young, but that's the typical heart attack age. Was he a smoker?

12:01 Caller No, but he had like back problems and so he couldn't get out of bed. So he was actually like, he was probably bedridden for like the last two years of his life.

12:12 Drew Wow.

12:12 Caller And I mean, like he had, yeah, he had some pretty serious issues.

12:18 Drew All that sounds like a horrible stuff to live around. Your brother was dealing with that. So there was some heavy feelings flying around the house. And for a six year old, they soaked that stuff up. And now that he's sort of, you know, moving towards puberty and things, some weird stuff is likely to happen. And this is more about that. This is not about sexual orientation.

12:35 Adam So what do you do with your brother?

12:37 Drew I would just think of it as a sign that you've, you said the kid is just, he behaves funny. He sort of thinks he's odd. And this is a kid that might be needed evaluation by the mental health of child psychiatrists, something like that. Just to head off trouble in the future. This doesn't mean something specific to me, but it means that the kid that's struggling.

12:53 Adam Kids show their hand pretty early in basically the kind of people they are.

12:58 Drew I remember you came, my kids when they were turned like eight or seven or something, it was their first grade birthday party. You came to that birthday party and you went, oh yeah, every one of these, I got them. Remember? Yeah. Every kid is who, they were six or something, you went, oh yeah.

13:12 Adam I mean, not just your kids.

13:13 Drew Right, all the other kids at the party, you said, I can tell who each of these kids are gonna be now.

13:16 Adam Well, think about now that you're a little bit more seasoned, think about the guys you knew in the fifth grade. Are they much different now?

13:25 Drew Well, you know what's funny? Some are. Like a couple, totally different. For the most part, the same. Yeah. The really interesting thing is, the ones that are totally different, I would have predicted to be more the same like the rest of the J.O.s. But they're not. So I don't know what that is. But yes, for the most part, people are the same.

13:43 Adam All right. So what? Intervene, be his brother, be his friend.

13:47 Drew Talk to a pediatrician about a mental health professional.

13:50 Adam Emma.

13:51 Yes.

13:51 Adam You're 25.

13:53 Caller I am.

13:53 Adam What's up?

13:54 Caller Well, I have inverted nipples and the weird looking and the gross me out. But more than that, I have very little sensitivity around my whole boobs. So I was wondering.

14:10 Adam You're big gal?

14:12 Caller I am.

14:13 Adam What are you coming in at?

14:16 Caller I don't know, like 220.

14:19 Adam And, uh, true, that's not overweight. And how tall are you?

14:23 Caller I'm 5'11.

14:25 Adam 5'11? That's, you're just a lot of woman.

14:29 Caller I'm just a big girl.

14:30 Drew But there's a lot of breast tissue, too, right?

14:33 Caller Not especially. I have pretty small boobs.

14:36 Drew Oh, hold on.

14:38 Adam That is a bad...

14:39 Drew Appreciate her honesty.

14:40 Adam Yeah, but the fat chick with the small boobs is like the car that has a horrible performance but gets horrible gas mileage as well. It's like, what's in it for me? You know what I mean?

14:53 Drew Yeah.

14:55 Adam That's bad on bad.

14:56 Drew All right, we can lose a little weight here. A, B, the inverted nipple and I don't think the decreased sensitivity and inversion are necessary related. There are surgeries to help try to release the nipple inversion.

15:06 Adam I could get them out.

15:07 Drew And guys, for the most part, are not freaked out about this.

15:09 Adam I'll box your ears. That's how I get them out.

15:13 Caller It's kind of like when a turkey is done on Thanksgiving. When I get excited, the girls pop out. But the rest of the time...

15:19 Adam That's how it is with my penis too. Yeah, the rest of the time.

15:22 Caller The rest of the time, they're laying low.

15:25 Adam Well, is that how you want it?

15:26 Drew Good times.

15:28 Caller Well, I guess, but it's just kind of...

15:30 Drew They can get... Having an inversion as you get older can cause irritation and problems like that.

15:35 Adam So yeah, like breastfeeding or something. Guys, have you had any complaints from guys?

15:40 Caller No.

15:41 Adam Because I'll tell you, I got to be honest with you, guys, the bigger beef is with the big ass than it is with the inverted nipples.

15:49 Caller Right.

15:50 Adam You know what I mean?

15:50 Drew And that's something you can take care of, right? I mean, you know, a little bit.

15:54 Adam The big ass? What's going on?

15:56 Caller Well, I'm not gonna make complaints. I'm not gonna make complaints in the butt department.

16:03 Adam I know, but hold on a second. Hold on. Let me explain something. Yeah, I know what you're gonna write, Drew.

16:08 Drew All right.

16:09 Adam Here's my point. There are... First off, 220 pounds for a woman is probably technically morbidly obese. It probably falls into that.

16:19 Drew It's probably six feet tall, though.

16:21 Adam Yeah, but that's 220 and 5'11 on the radio.

16:24 Drew Yeah, yeah.

16:24 Adam That means 5'9 and 7'8.

16:26 Drew 240.

16:28 Adam Yeah, 236. Yeah. So the point is, is, you know, look, if you're 5'11 and you're 175 pounds, that's overweight for a woman. 220 plus is in the morbidly, like, obese range.

16:42 Drew Yeah, big.

16:43 Adam Now, and by the way, it's not that hard to get into the morbidly obese range, is it?

16:47 Drew Well, you're supposed to be 100 pounds overweight to be morbidly obese.

16:50 Adam Oh, really?

16:50 Drew But by your radio math, she's hidden in that.

16:53 Adam I'll put her in there.

16:53 Drew Yeah.

16:54 Adam I'll just do the science over the radio. But so here's the thing. No, you don't have any complaints from guys because guys are so goddamn horny. It's like you don't hear any raccoons complaining about the dumpster. They're just in it. You know what I mean?

17:09 Drew They're loving it.

17:10 Adam Now, don't get them wrong. The raccoons would love to happen upon a nice deli platter, but whatever's in the dumpster is going to do.

17:17 Drew Yeah. So the point of mind is don't base your self-esteem on how men relate to you.

17:21 Adam No, because we talk to a lot of women that are very much overweight, and their answer is, I got no problem in the dudes' department. I go out Friday night, they get juiced up, and they try to ask me. You cannot base it on guys wanting to have sex with you.

17:35 Drew And I would be more concerned about your overall health, that this is worth losing the weight, get some exercise going, just to maintain...

17:42 Adam All right, Emma. How about that? All right. And as far as the inverted nipples, don't worry about it. Yeah.

17:47 Drew And the sensitivity...

17:49 Caller Will it cause any problems, like when I do have kids?

17:54 Drew I don't know of any. And by the way, then you're in a whole different sort of hormonal and structural circumstance where they may kind of come out anyway.

18:01 Adam And what about the women who pump?

18:05 Drew That's a lot. Most women do that.

18:07 Adam Most women pump?

18:07 Drew Yeah. You can't be available all the time. What's the middle of the night or something if she wants... Wait till you have a kid.

18:13 Adam Who's pumping?

18:13 Drew Wait till you have a kid.

18:15 Adam I'm not pumping.

18:17 Drew No way. No, you're not pumping, but you're serving up what's pumped.

18:19 Adam Really?

18:20 Drew Yeah, so she can sleep.

18:21 Adam Yeah, get the kid going on the formula. But the point is, is if you pump, is your nipple gonna come out?

18:28 Drew Yes.

18:28 Adam It will. So vacuum pressure will get it out. So she could just use a nice shop vac and get those nipples right out. I bet she could.

18:36 Drew Yeah, yeah, well, a guy will oblige that, you know what I'm saying? Okay. Yeah, but they'll pop right back in there.

18:41 Adam Wife had seizures two days ago and an orgasm caused one. What's more harmful? Warts. Fiance has warts. How to continue having sex. I don't want to talk about warts. Let's talk to Sean. Sean?

18:57 Yes.

18:58 Adam You're 26?

18:59 Caller Yes.

19:00 Adam Your wife had seizures?

19:03 Caller She had a seizure two days ago in a grocery store and she's concerned that if she has an orgasm, it might trigger another one.

19:09 Drew Has she had a work up for the seizure yet?

19:12 Caller We saw a regular doctor and we were trying to get an appointment to see the neurologist.

19:16 Adam So her faking another orgasm was shunned. Do you think that might cause it?

19:20 Drew Yeah, even that. The excitement, the shame and guilt and the conflicted feeling.

19:24 Adam Did she hit her head or anything? Did she collapse?

19:27 Yeah.

19:29 Caller She gave herself a concussion. They had to staple a wound shut.

19:33 Drew I wouldn't do anything stimulating. She shouldn't be driving cars. She shouldn't be excitable. Just keep things very cool and easy for a while.

19:40 Adam What brings on a seizure?

19:41 Drew It depends what the source is, what the cause is. But there's definitely high levels of stimulation could potentially trigger something.

19:48 Adam Should you wear like a hockey helmet?

19:50 Drew No, but she shouldn't be driving a car.

19:52 Adam But she had a concussion at the market.

19:54 Drew And she shouldn't be climbing a ladder and she shouldn't be walking on the roof of the house.

19:57 Adam No chick has ever climbed a ladder, Drew. That's the beauty of it.

19:59 Drew Well said, well said.

20:01 Adam My wife's never actually been off the ground, except for when she was wearing plaits.

20:06 Drew Plaits?

20:06 Adam Platform.

20:07 Drew I see, plaits.

20:08 Adam Back in the 70s, she should have worn plaits.

20:10 Drew Yeah. But I don't think that, I mean, it's not that big a deal, Sean, but the important thing is she should get this work up done and keep her kind of low and, you know. I mean, you can argue that if she's highly aroused and just doesn't have sex, it could be kind of problematic for her too.

20:22 Adam What does she think, what do the doctors think, Sean?

20:25 Drew They don't know.

20:26 Caller Well, the doctor told her that it shouldn't be a problem, but she's still concerned about it.

20:29 Adam I know, but what do they think the cause of the seizures are? I mean, are they worried?

20:35 Caller They're, I'm sure, we saw one neurologist in the ER and he gave her the OK to walk out.

20:42 Drew Did he give a CAT scan?

20:44 Caller Yeah, they did a CAT scan.

20:45 Drew All right, so at least that's not a structural problem that they saw. Then yes, this kind of seizure is less likely to recur and you probably can't go ahead and not worry about it. All right. But again, just take it easy.

20:56 Adam Let's talk to Beth, talk to a chick. Beth?

21:00 Caller Hello?

21:01 Adam What's up?

21:02 Caller Hi, thanks for taking my call. I'm really nervous. I'm a big fan of you guys. Thanks. You're welcome. I have had kind of a bad, the last few eight months, I had a stillborn in November and I was born with a genetic condition. It's a mouthful. It's called multiple epiphyseal dysplasia. And basically all my joints aren't formed right. So my hips are jagged instead of oval. And-

21:32 Drew Well, no, you get dislocations of your hip and that causes arthritis in the hip.

21:36 Caller Right.

21:37 Adam It's like what dogs have.

21:38 Drew Yeah, it's like hip dysplasia.

21:39 Caller It is.

21:40 Drew Yeah. And then the arthritis is just destruction of the acetabulum and the ball, this ball and socket joint just kind of breaks down. Why did you have hip replacements?

21:49 Caller Well, I haven't. That's why I was calling. I can have my hips replaced at any time, but because of my age, I'm 28. And hip replacements only last five to ten years total. And you can only have two apparently in your lifetime. So I've had a lot of pain.

22:06 Drew No, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Haven't they sort of coached you that, you know, they're going to 10 to 15 years now and maybe by the time you have your second one, we'll have other ways of doing this. You know what I mean?

22:16 Caller The doctor that I saw recently was very, he really didn't go that route.

22:22 Drew He wants you to wait. All right.

22:23 Caller Yeah, well, he just laid it all out on the table and I was born with this, so I've been told, you know.

22:28 Adam Hold on. The whole hip replacement thing hurts my teeth.

22:32 Drew I know.

22:32 Adam You know, when I picture those, like, cold chisels, they got to get out. I mean, I mean.

22:37 Drew It's carpentry.

22:38 Adam That's what I'm saying. I mean, these guys are making boats in your ass.

22:41 Drew Yeah, yeah. It's not delicate microsurgery.

22:44 Adam No, that's the whole thing. Like, you know, when I see the guy with the guy from Germany with the funky frames and he's feeding the stint up the thing with the arthroscopic and the microscopic and the laser, whatever, this guy, this is a guy, this is a day labor getting a cold chisel out and busting bones.

23:00 Drew He's the guy with the mallet. Seriously. Yeah.

23:03 Adam Oh, my teeth hurt.

23:04 Drew Yeah. Anyway, you know, what, so let's get it down. What's the question? Real quick.

23:08 Adam And what, how's the stillborn thing work?

23:11 Drew Traumatizers, which is telling us, I think.

23:12 Adam I know. But how do you what? Don't they don't they know now?

23:17 Drew Sometimes it happens just before delivering.

23:20 Adam So the baby dies just days or moments or whatever. And that that brings on.

23:26 Drew Yeah. Yeah. Well, if the baby dies, she means it died in utero and they just took it out.

23:32 Adam Oh, is that what she means?

23:33 Drew Yeah.

23:34 Adam Is that what you mean, Beth?

23:34 Caller Yeah, that's what I mean.

23:36 Adam How far along were you?

23:37 Caller Well, I was only well, I was only had to induce me at 23 weeks because my fluid starts to leak. So it was a different situation.

23:45 Adam Yeah. Well, listen, Beth, I'll tell you something I believe in, something I've learned. Everything happens for a reason.

23:50 Caller Yeah.

23:51 Drew Everything.

23:51 Adam So the dysplasia and the hip replacement, the stillborn, all for a reason. Yeah, I don't claim to know why, but there's a plan. Believe me, there's a plan.

24:01 Caller I agree. Thank you, Adam.

24:02 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

24:03 Adam It all happens for a reason.

24:04 Drew To distill it down, what is your question?

24:05 Caller My question is because we're trying to delay surgery, pain. I've been put on narcotics, heavy duty, morphine, whatever. I'm worried. I know they're all addicting, but I'm wondering if you have any suggestions of something that might help me a little more. The pain, the morphine really isn't doing a whole lot.

24:25 Drew All right, let me ask you this. Do you have alcoholism or alcoholism in your family?

24:28 Caller I do, yes.

24:29 Drew Do you think you're an alcoholic?

24:30 Caller I don't, no. I haven't.

24:33 Drew You don't strike me as that, I got to tell you. Yeah. And so you being on opiates is not that big a deal. You're going to get dependent, you're going to have withdrawal, but you're probably not going to trigger an addiction.

24:42 Caller Okay.

24:42 Drew So maybe it's what you need to do. I'm sure they've discussed with you things like Neurontin. Have you ever taken Neurontin?

24:49 Caller No, I have not.

24:50 Drew Okay, Neurontin.

24:50 Adam I'll let you spell that on my list. I still want those Quailudes by the way, Drew. Another birthday came and went. And still no pharmaceutical Quailudes.

25:00 Drew No score. Let you down. So Neurontin is a medicine, high doses that can help the sort of modulation, regulation of pain. There are things like Ultram and the antidepressant medication sometimes help from the top part of your brain down. So like the things that make you not feel pain when you're in a football game or something or a plane crash. There's ways to activate.

25:20 Adam Well, you're dead when you're in a plane crash.

25:22 Drew But I'm saying to activate that system, antidepressants tend to do that. I have a medication called Zypraxas sometimes.

25:27 Adam A horrible example of a plane crash.

25:29 Drew Sometimes it's helpful. Loxetain is sometimes helpful.

25:31 Adam You're talking about you get that endorphin adrenaline rush that doesn't let you know your femur's sticking out from the side of your thigh.

25:38 Drew There's a part of your brain called the anterior cingulate that when it's activated.

25:40 Adam I don't think I have one of those.

25:41 Drew I know you don't.

25:42 Adam I'm almost always in pain.

25:43 Drew You're a robot. You're a robot.

25:44 Adam No, but I just mean I know it. You know there's people that go, you know, I was shot three times. I just felt it was warm. And then I passed out. I would be squealing like a pig immediately knowing I was shot. I actually think I would know I was shot before I was shot.

25:58 Drew Right. You know when the guy aimed the gun at you.

26:00 Adam I would already start squealing. And then the pain would immediately set in even if nothing came out of his gun.

26:06 Drew But Beth, you might want to go to a pain management doctor. People who have, this is not for chronic pain. This is actually easier to manage. But go ahead and write down Neurontin, Loxetain, Xyprexa and other antidepressants. That's sort of where you can begin. Sometimes there are even other anti-seizure medicines. It can be all the Topamax, things like that. So it's a lot of stuff doctors can choose from.

26:27 Adam I believe everything happens for a reason.

26:29 Drew Therefore it must.

26:30 Adam Unless it's bad and it happens to me.

26:32 Drew If you believe it, then what?

26:34 Adam Well I'm saying like if a fairy capsizes in New Delhi and it kills like 900 people, that happens for a reason.

26:41 Drew But how about when it still happens to you?

26:43 Adam I'm pissed.

26:44 Drew But it still happens for a reason?

26:45 Adam No, I'm angry. I have to blame somebody.

26:48 Drew Oh, who do you blame?

26:50 Adam Well, I always start with my family.

26:52 Drew Okay, of course.

26:54 Adam And then I move on to what we're doing.

26:55 Drew Well, no, you don't.

26:56 Adam No, no, you stay right there. But I do move on to other family members.

26:59 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah.

27:00 Adam Let's be fair.

27:00 Drew Let's start a family.

27:01 Adam All right. We're gonna take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Brett. He has a small penis, only four inches, so he says. And that is a wrap, ladies and gentlemen. We will talk to Brett. Do you remember those two?

27:17 Drew Yes, nine years ago. Why do we still talk about them?

27:20 Adam Ah, they're seared into my psyche, those brawns. I don't know who they were. They were hot Playboy twins.

27:26 Drew But remember, they were the handsome twins, ex-girlfriends. And they were Charlie Sheen's ex-girlfriend.

27:33 Adam Well, I was.

27:34 Drew Who was it? You were, too.

27:35 Adam I was with Charlie Sheen. And Charlie Sheen was with everybody.

27:38 Drew But remember that?

27:39 Adam Yeah, I know. But I just remember after about a half hour yelling at them to leave the studio.

27:44 Drew Yeah.

27:44 Adam Remember that?

27:44 Drew Screaming, yeah.

27:45 Adam All right, we'll take a quick break. Be right back after this.

27:49 Loveline, OK, wait, wait, wait, my hair, my hair.

27:53 Caller We'll be right back.

27:55 The one and only Live 105.

28:09 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. The Offspring, our good rockin friends. The Offspring will be in here tonight. Just a quick little disclaimer before we move forward. Drew has a show on Discovery Health. I too have a show coming out on the Discovery Galaxy of Stars. It is on TLC, and anyone who calls in the show tonight may, may be included in that show, or at least your voice. Yes, Drew?

28:43 Drew Fair enough.

28:44 Adam Fair enough?

28:45 Drew My show, you can watch tonight at midnight.

28:47 Adam That's right.

28:47 Drew Discovery Health channel. Please watch after we end the show.

28:50 Adam Just put something kind up on the web there.

28:53 Drew Yes, discoveryhealth.com. That would be wonderful.

28:55 Adam Yeah. Come on, buddy. And really, don't say anything bad about Drew, because he reads everything, he takes it to heart, and it really crushes him.

29:02 Drew Oh, now you're just baiting it. Now there's going to be an army of stuff on there.

29:06 Adam Sure it would be really funny if you wrote something horribly insulting about Drew, and we might read it on the air, but don't do it, kids.

29:15 Drew You are a dick.

29:15 Adam Especially 14-year-old males listening to the show. I know you're better than that.

29:20 Drew You know, can I be honest with you? I don't find that funny.

29:26 Adam Drew, what were you saying that about? My rapist thing?

29:29 Drew Yes, the hack thing, yeah.

29:31 Adam Yeah. See, one of the things I'm...

29:33 Caller The rapist.

29:34 Adam Drew doesn't find it funny.

29:36 Drew It's not funny. Rarely I don't find you funny.

29:38 Adam But you don't get the joke. You get the joke.

29:41 Drew I get it. It's just not funny. It doesn't tickle me.

29:42 Adam It doesn't tickle you?

29:44 Drew That makes you do it 10 times more.

29:45 Adam Okay.

29:46 Drew I know, but yeah.

29:46 Adam Well, here's the joke. Here's the joke. I... It basically goes... Basically, it's the genesis of the joke is, I grew up watching a lot of TV in the 70s and 80s, and they'd always do that, this week on McCloud, in order to catch a jewel thief, McCloud is going to have to become a jewel thief. They do that all. A lot of promos doing that. Yeah. So the joke was the same thing, except we always end with rapist.

30:16 Caller The rapist.

30:18 Drew Will Arnett. Was it Will Arnett?

30:19 Adam Yeah. So this week on Hack, in order to catch a counterfeiter, Hack is going to have to become a rapist. You see. And it always, it gets funnier the more you do it because you get an international jewel thievery and forgery and all this, but they always end with rape.

30:35 Drew Yeah. No.

30:36 Adam Not funny.

30:36 Drew No.

30:36 Adam Not funny. Yeah.

30:37 Drew Yeah. Not everything's for everybody.

30:39 Adam All right.

30:40 Drew No. Okay. Just saying.

30:41 Adam No. Fair enough.

30:42 Drew Just saying.

30:43 Adam Fair enough. Brett?

30:45 Yeah. How's it going?

30:47 Adam In 19?

30:48 Caller Yeah.

30:49 Adam What's up?

30:50 Well, I've got a pretty small penis. Yeah. It's like four inches with erection. It's pretty thin. And I was wondering if there's any pills that actually do work or if surgery's like the only way.

31:06 Drew There are not pills that work. That's for sure. And as you hit, you still have a couple more years to grow. 21, well, I know, but-

31:12 Adam You may squeeze out like a millimeter and a half over the next 30 years.

31:16 Drew Please. You guys, that last couple years is when it really happens.

31:18 Adam Really?

31:18 Drew Sometimes, yeah. So 20, but men particularly.

31:21 Adam Really?

31:21 Drew Yeah, it can happen.

31:22 Adam Women's penises don't grow as they get older?

31:24 Drew No, their breasts can grow over the last couple years. Occasionally. I know you're interested in the field work on that.

31:28 It looks like being a sausage when it's not erect. I mean, it's-

31:32 Drew Well, here's the deal, Brett. There are surgeries for this. Basically, the surgery is going in and releasing the suspensory ligament that holds the penis to the pelvic bone. And then they actually give you some weights to wear the pulls that sort of keeps the penis pulling away.

31:46 Adam I got them now.

31:47 Drew I'm wearing them right now.

31:48 Caller Yeah.

31:50 Adam I got to tell you, pretty close to mishap last summer when I went into the pool. Oh, you almost drowned. Well, I was having a party and I got by the person-

31:58 Drew And you're wearing the weights?

31:59 Adam I went right to David Jones' locker.

32:01 Adam Corolla.

32:03 Drew It's a hell of a way to hit David Jones' locker. I don't know how many sailors, how many pirates have hit David Jones' locker because they're wearing a barbell attached to their penis.

32:13 Adam Deep Six, they call it.

32:14 Drew In your case, it's like Deep Four.

32:18 Adam Here's what I'm saying. If you're under a certain amount, shouldn't your insurance pay for it?

32:24 Drew I don't believe so. I talked to the urologist, he said no. It's about 11 grand to have both procedures, which is the lengthening, which is cutting the suspensory ligament, and then the thickening procedure, which is where they pull the skin down and basically sew on some cadaver tissue. Basically, it looks like a pop tart on the round the penis, then pull the skin back up and off you go.

32:44 Adam And my scrotalplasty, how much would that run?

32:46 Drew I don't know. I haven't checked that, but-

32:48 Adam Some hell bent on that.

32:50 Drew I know.

32:50 Adam Because I'm 40, but my scrotum is that of an 80 year old.

32:53 Drew I know.

32:54 Adam It's an old soul, they call it.

32:55 Drew I know you got to do something about that. Imagine what it'll be at 80.

32:58 Adam Oh, at 80? Well, it'll be 120.

33:02 Drew It's unthinkable.

33:03 Adam It is.

33:04 Drew You have to have special tailored clothes and things?

33:06 Adam Oh yeah. Well, no, I'll be wearing the jumpsuit with a built-in belt.

33:10 Drew Yeah.

33:10 Adam That's what I'm looking forward to. I'm looking forward to that part of life where I just put the jumpsuit and the slippers on and leave the house.

33:16 Drew Well, it's different. Now you put on pajamas and slippers. What's the difference?

33:19 Adam All right. All right. Brett? Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah, we're done with you. There's nothing you can do. You got to find a woman who loves you for you.

33:27 Drew And many women, there are a lot of women that don't care about small. Now.

33:30 Yeah, that's not true.

33:33 Drew No, that is true.

33:34 Adam No, it is.

33:35 Drew I'm not saying every woman, I'm saying there are a lot of women.

33:37 Adam And you better get good at oral sex.

33:40 Drew That's right.

33:42 Yeah. So basically I'm screwed forever?

33:46 Drew Well, no, it's not like we said it all. Brett. Brett. You're so negative. You're depressed for one thing. You got to get that taken care of. What we said is there is a surgery to correct this.

33:54 Adam You know what? Don't tell them the same thing we already told them because there's a million people that are listening. I got to hear the same crap that Stonerhead didn't take in the first time around. Brett, let me tell you what's going to ruin you with women. Your horrible attitude, not your small penis. That will be a second disappointment. But the first disappointment is your crappy bummer attitude. So quit smoking some pot, get out of junior college, get a job and fight to keep it.

34:20 Drew Yeah. And it may need a hormonal workup too to make sure there's not something endocrinologically going on here as well.

34:25 Adam But look, here's the deal with the small penis. By the time the chicks find out you have a small penis or why you don't call radio shows and yap about it, it's too late.

34:34 Drew You're in.

34:34 Adam You're in. And for a lot of them, and let me ask you this, Drew. I was gonna ask engineer Michelle, but she'd never seen a penis.

34:44 Drew She should have seen one.

34:45 Adam Well, that scared her when she was nine and that was it.

34:47 Drew Well, so she may like the form.

34:48 Adam She said fa. The point is, is that most women, and I know like to a point, but abnormally large or abnormally small.

34:59 Drew Which would they prefer?

35:00 Adam Yeah, let's, I'll give you numbers. Four inch penis, eight inch penis, if six is the normal. Ooh, well, that's tough for Drew because he's nine and a half.

35:11 Drew I think they, which I think the four would-

35:13 Adam Most women.

35:14 Drew Would go away from the four. I think if you said nine versus four, most would take the four.

35:18 Adam Oh really?

35:18 Drew Yeah.

35:19 Adam Just one more inch.

35:20 Drew Yeah.

35:20 Adam But eight versus four, no.

35:21 Drew Because eight is not so much, nine is definitely, nine is definitely out.

35:24 Adam Really? All right. But still, it's a coin toss, sort of, isn't it?

35:29 Drew Yeah. It's a judgment call.

35:30 Adam I mean, it's not 95% of women would go with the eight inch penis.

35:33 Drew That's right. I agree.

35:35 Adam There's 40% of them would end up with the four inch.

35:38 Drew That's right.

35:38 Adam That's the one, that's the one young Brett's got to find. All right. Where are we, Drew?

35:43 Drew But he doesn't even talk to a doctor about it.

35:45 Adam He does?

35:45 Drew Yes.

35:46 Adam Why? I wasn't listening to that part.

35:48 Drew Because it could be an endocrine problem too. There are developmental issues that can also cause this. Yes, it might be treatable.

35:55 Adam I just think guys like Brett that are steering the curve down. You know what I'm saying?

35:59 Drew Toward you, yeah.

36:01 Adam Joanne, toward me. How dare you? Joanne?

36:04 Hello?

36:05 Adam You're 15?

36:06 Caller Yeah, hi.

36:07 Adam Yeah, hey. You have a 19-year-old boyfriend?

36:09 Yeah.

36:11 Adam That seems bad.

36:12 Caller Ooh.

36:14 Adam Why?

36:14 Drew 15 and 19.

36:15 Adam Why? Yeah, that's old. What's up with him? We don't trust him.

36:18 Caller Why not? He's so sweet.

36:21 Adam Are you having sex with him?

36:22 Caller Yeah. He was really sweet.

36:25 Drew He's a criminal?

36:26 Adam Yeah.

36:27 Drew What's your question? What's your question?

36:29 Caller Oh, well, every time me and him have intercourse, his penis goes limp while he's inside of me.

36:35 Adam Good.

36:36 Drew How long into things does that happen?

36:37 Adam Where is it gone?

36:38 Caller About five to 10 minutes.

36:39 Drew Is that because he has ejaculated?

36:41 Caller No, no, he doesn't come or anything. I think it might be because he smokes an extremely large amount of pot.

36:48 Adam Oh, man.

36:48 Drew There you go.

36:49 Adam You've got to hang on to this winner with both hands, Joanne. Don't ever let him go.

36:53 Drew He's awesome. A criminal, a marijuana addict, and can't perform sex.

36:57 Adam The only thing that makes statutory Ray Potter is when the guy is actually holding a bong. His dad is sweet. Where's your dad? I'd like to kick him in the nuts.

37:06 Caller My dad's actually in the living room.

37:09 Drew Smoking pot.

37:09 Adam Really? And he knows you go out with a 19-year-old?

37:13 Caller Yeah, it's his coworker's son.

37:15 Caller Oh.

37:16 Drew Is your dad an alcoholic or a marijuana addict?

37:19 Caller Well, he smokes a little pot every now and then.

37:21 Drew Yeah, yeah. I'm sure it's every once in a while.

37:24 Adam And what's he do? Something that involves a forklift? Mechanic. All right. Works around metal. All right. So you got a 19-year-old boyfriend. He goes limp. What are you using for protection?

37:37 Caller Condoms. I'm on birth control.

37:39 Drew Oh, you're using both.

37:40 Caller And we both get tested and everything, so.

37:41 Drew You're doing both, condoms and birth control? Yes. Outstanding. But the condom might be affecting him too a little bit. Maybe try different brands.

37:48 Adam Yeah, some guys, they kind of go limp thing can mean a couple of things.

37:52 Drew Anxiety.

37:54 Adam You have to punch the mic with every point.

37:55 Caller I've been going out for a while now.

37:57 Drew All right.

37:57 Adam Well, what about you're over lubricating?

38:01 Caller No, actually, we have to whip out the KY every once in a while nowadays. And I don't know.

38:06 Drew It is 15. Yeah.

38:07 Adam Now, when she was younger, eight, nine, she didn't need the KY. But as you get older, Drew, the vaginal dryness sets in, you know, 14, 15. You got to bust out the KY. Yeah, you're getting close to menopause. Yeah, this is Bogus.

38:18 Caller What's up, guys?

38:19 Adam Wow. Is this a dude?

38:21 Caller Yeah.

38:21 Drew Oh, well done.

38:23 Adam Wow.

38:23 Drew Well done.

38:24 Caller Yeah. I called. My name was Sabrina.

38:26 Adam Wow. Oh, this is-

38:28 Drew You've done this before.

38:29 Caller Yeah.

38:30 Adam Wow.

38:31 Drew Well done.

38:32 Adam Awesome.

38:33 Drew You are a pro.

38:34 Adam You're good. You're good. That will translate into no money and no pun tang.

38:38 Caller But we're done.

38:38 Adam Still, well done.

38:40 Drew You're gay.

38:41 Adam How old are you? How old are you?

38:44 Caller I'm 14.

38:45 Adam 14. Do the do the chick voice again.

38:48 Caller Like this?

38:50 Adam Well, that's the helium voice. Give us the Latina chick from East LA.

38:56 Caller East LA? I can't do a thing like that.

38:59 Adam No, that's pretty good.

39:00 Drew There you go.

39:01 Adam That's pretty good.

39:01 Caller Yeah.

39:02 Adam Yeah, that's solid. Do you want to answer more questions about your vagina?

39:07 Drew Do you want to talk to Chief Thunder Bear?

39:08 Adam It might be funny. All right. How's your menstruation? Is it normal?

39:16 Caller Well, actually, due to the birth control, I really don't get my period.

39:20 Adam Oh, really? You're on the shot. I see. You're on the depot shot.

39:23 Caller Yeah.

39:24 Adam Okay. And normal breast development?

39:27 Caller Oh, actually, yes.

39:29 Adam What are you, B-cup, C-cup?

39:31 Caller I'm actually a B.

39:32 Adam Oh, D?

39:33 Caller Yeah, I'm a 32D.

39:35 Adam You're a little young, but I'll tell you, when you turn 18, you're always going to get a pass at you. This chick sounds hot, Drew.

39:40 Drew He's good.

39:40 Caller You're going to put the Mary Kate and Ashley on me?

39:42 Caller Where did he hone this craft?

39:44 Drew I want to know.

39:45 Adam I'll tell you where you hone this craft, your nuts don't drop. That's where you hone your craft.

39:51 Caller Oh, that's not right.

39:53 Caller Oh, no, it isn't.

39:54 Adam Now he sounds like the brawny man. No, you haven't popped a pub yet. That's why you can pull off a chick.

40:00 Drew Yeah, but he has the whole, he has the whole demeanor going. It's really well done.

40:04 Adam Yeah, you're good.

40:05 Caller No, I just listen to you guys a lot.

40:07 Adam All right. You're excellent. Well, what's your name so we can remember you next time? What's that?

40:12 Caller What'd you say?

40:13 Adam What is your male name?

40:15 Caller Arturo.

40:16 Drew Arturo.

40:17 Adam Oh, and you're a true artist, Arturo.

40:19 Caller Thank you.

40:20 Adam All right, my brother.

40:21 Caller Hey, LES.

40:21 Adam Well done.

40:22 Drew Well done.

40:22 Adam You're a worthy adversary.

40:24 Drew What, Arturo?

40:25 Caller Your question? Adam, I heard you're gonna do some kind of racing with the cars and the driving. Yeah, I mean, like that. What is that? What's that?

40:34 Adam I'm doing something called Test Drive on the Speed Vision or Speed Channel. Oh, it's coming up. I don't know. Maybe it came. Maybe it went or something like that. Maybe that's what you're talking about.

40:45 Caller Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think it is.

40:46 Adam All right. Yeah.

40:47 Drew Good times.

40:47 Caller Can I say hi to my friends? Can I say hi to my friends?

40:49 Drew Yeah, he earned it.

40:50 Adam Yeah, he did. He did. Go ahead.

40:52 Drew Go to town.

40:53 Adam Go ahead.

40:53 Caller Hi, Brad.

40:54 Caller Hi, Julie. I love you guys.

40:56 Caller I'm sorry. Bye.

40:58 Drew What did you do to her?

40:59 Caller What?

40:59 Drew What did you do to Julie?

41:00 Caller Oh, well, um.

41:02 Adam They had a lesbian affair. Oh, yeah.

41:05 Drew Yeah.

41:05 Adam He didn't let he didn't let her finish either. Listen, I don't know what the future holds for young Arturo.

41:12 Drew But it's something special.

41:13 Adam It's a dark one now. I'm seeing I'm seeing sort of I'm seeing dark, struggling artists kind of thing. But the kid is quick and he thinks well on his feet.

41:23 Drew Yes.

41:24 Adam And I like that. He's actually better than most of the guests on the show.

41:28 Drew Yes.

41:29 Adam Yes. Okay. You ready to rock here, Drew?

41:32 Drew No, I'm set for break. Oh, really?

41:33 Adam Yeah. Wow. Time really flies when you're talking to he she's. Mandy, who's 17's boyfriend demands oral sex right after they have sex. I like the cut of this kid's jib.

41:46 Drew Yeah, I bet.

41:46 Adam Yeah. She wants to know what the is it that what what the fascination is?

41:51 Drew Yeah. How does he work?

41:52 Adam Well, we'll get a NASA scientist in here to explain why guys enjoy oral. Yes. True. Really, shoot.

42:00 Drew But I can't. I honestly, I.

42:02 Adam Shoot on over to Caltech over here and see if you can pick somebody up.

42:05 Drew I would like an explanation about that too.

42:07 Adam They would?

42:07 Drew It's putting the cart ahead of the horse.

42:09 Adam See, Drew, you are a man of such supreme passion that you do not enjoy oral sex.

42:16 Drew It's like, why would you have?

42:18 Adam Yeah, on a long drive, but not once you get to the hotel.

42:21 Drew Right.

42:21 Adam Yeah, see, not me.

42:23 Drew I know, and that will be a good discussion. You can give that point of view.

42:27 Adam I think I may have just done that. Okay. All right. We'll take a quick break. Be right back after this. Loveline, we'll be right back.

42:35 Caller Loveline is brought to you by The Closer.

42:38 The one and only. Live 105, Live 105.

42:54 Adam Hey, y'all. It's the Loveline of Adam. That's Dr. Drew. The offspring tomorrow night, everybody. You know, my favorite part of doing a reality-based TV show is, Drew, the cameraman, they have to follow you around everywhere.

43:09 Drew Yes, we were just paying and there he was in the bathroom with us.

43:12 Adam Yeah, which forced me to wash my hands, which I normally don't even do after number two.

43:16 Drew I noticed you didn't pass gas either. That's normally something you do in there. You didn't shiver like you normally do.

43:20 Adam I did pass gas. You just couldn't hear it. Well, I did a little cheek spread.

43:24 Drew I'm just saying, they call it reality TV, Adam, for God's sake.

43:29 Adam Now, the funny thing about when you do a reality show is there's a cameraman and there's a sound man, and then there's five other people running around with clipboards who are talking into headsets and things like that. And whenever the camera swings around and might find them in the camera's lens, they all do a shoulder roll like it's the opening of SWAT and just dive behind sofas and go sprinting around. I love to see white people scurry. You don't see it that often. You know what I mean? You just don't see middle-age white guys scuttling and scurrying.

44:01 Drew Diving.

44:02 Adam Especially women, too. Just shoulder roll and then right behind the love seat. Yeah. So every time the camera swings around, you see people in the dirt like some maniac has broken in the McDonald's with an automatic weapon.

44:14 Drew Next time you got to walk over there, just kneel down, just start talking to them. Just chat with them.

44:18 Adam Just bring the camera over there.

44:19 Drew You just walk over. The camera will come. All you got to do is walk over there and talk. Just have a little conversation with them.

44:23 Adam Adam Corolla. Yeah. It's going to replace Marco Polaroid.

44:30 Drew Here we go.

44:30 Adam Anderson.

44:32 Drew Anderson doesn't like when Michelle speaks.

44:35 Adam I just think he doesn't like Michelle. I don't think it's so much her speaking he has a problem with. I just don't think he likes her, but that's all right. Chris, man. You know why Anderson doesn't like you because I love you.

44:46 Drew He's jealous.

44:47 Adam That's why. Yes, because you're a pro, baby.

44:48 Because she's not Chris and she's a rat fink and rat fink.

44:53 Drew Oh, Anderson's been drinking again.

44:55 Adam Again. Green tea. Just tell me when Anderson's not drinking. That's what I need to know. Otherwise, I'll just assume he's drunk. Yeah, green tea with bourbon. Yes. Mandy?

45:07 Yeah, this is Mandy.

45:09 Adam You're 17?

45:11 Caller Yes.

45:11 Adam Just a teenage dude. See, I'm all freaked out now.

45:14 Drew It's good.

45:15 Adam What's up, Mandy?

45:17 Drew Okay, so what happens, Mandy?

45:18 Adam Oh, a boyfriend who demands oral sex.

45:21 Caller Well, not necessarily, I mean, oral sex. I just want to know what your guy's spin on this is, because I really don't know what's going on. We'll have sex, and then as soon as we get done having sex, and after his penis starts to go limp, he wants me to suck it, and he can hardly sit still, like makes him go into a seizure, he like digs it or something. Do you know what's up with that?

45:47 Drew What? I'm not sure what you're describing.

45:50 Adam Weird and bogus too, but maybe my...

45:52 Caller I don't know what's up with that. I think he's just a freak. I think I'm going to talk to him about it. I just want to know if there's like anything scientifically proven, like that that would feel good or something.

46:02 Adam Hold on, I think I've met my my batch of tonal doppelganger. This must be what I would sound like if I was a chick.

46:10 Drew And smoking, you have to smoke something.

46:15 Adam I know, it's funny. It's funny to be like like a 17 year old chick and you're smoking like some film star from the 20s, who's on the phone with her agent, Mandy. All right, baby doll, let's put the butt out when you call the show. That's all Drew's a doctor.

46:29 Caller I will do it the next time.

46:31 Adam Yeah. OK.

46:32 Drew Not quite enough of a drone.

46:34 Adam How old is this guy?

46:35 Caller He's 17.

46:37 Adam And he has an orgasm. And then wants you to go at his yeah, it's only like a deflating penis.

46:45 Drew A five second deal.

46:47 Caller Yeah, he just like, I don't know, he gets some kind of kick out of it. I don't know what it is.

46:52 Adam I just I don't believe this. It's just we never heard it doesn't sound right.

46:59 Caller And also, I want to know, can you get pregnant from precom?

47:03 Drew All right, hold on, hold on.

47:05 Adam It's mostly postcom that gets you pregnant, but yes.

47:08 Drew Pre-com can too, but let's take a break. It's already time again.

47:12 Adam Really? Yeah.

47:13 Drew Let's regroup. Let's readdress Mandy. I think we're still sort of shaken by the Arturo experience.

47:18 Adam Okay.

47:18 Drew Let's get focused, break it down.

47:20 Adam Let's break it down.

47:21 Drew Let's go.

47:21 Adam Let's get a hand in.

47:22 Drew Let's go.

47:23 Adam Let's go, gentlemen. And I use that term loosely. Hey, remember, those helmets aren't chairs. Let's go. Let's break it down now. We'll take a quick break. Try to get to the bottom of Mandy after this. Hey, y'all, Loveline.

48:13 Drew I'm Adam.

48:14 Adam That's Dr. Drode. Tomorrow night, we have The Offspring in here. Great live band, The Offspring. Yes, Drew?

48:21 Drew Hopefully, he'll take you up in his jet.

48:23 Adam Dexter from The Offspring has himself a jet or two. We've traded phone calls about going up in his jet, but I would love to do that.

48:33 Drew Actually, you didn't trade phone calls. You picked up voicemails a month later. Yeah, yeah.

48:38 Adam Yeah, we never actually spoke, but he did leave a message, and I called him back three months later.

48:42 Drew Right, right.

48:43 Adam Yeah. And then I think he called back two months after that.

48:45 Drew OK, good.

48:46 Adam I think I owe him one. So we'll talk to him tomorrow night. You know what's cool? You can, you know, you could buy like a MIG 15, buy like a Russian MIG.

48:55 Drew Really?

48:55 Adam Yeah.

48:56 Drew Interesting.

48:56 Adam For not that much. Wow. We think about that stuff. I mean, think about military aircraft. Well, one one one year, it's, you know, oh, oh, oh, nothing. Just it's $500 million. And that doesn't include R&D. It's just, you know, 500 million a piece. And then 20 years later, it's out in the desert in Arizona. We stripped it down. We're going to crush it. You know what I'm saying?

49:20 Drew That's crazy.

49:21 Adam You could pick up an old MIG for probably 50 grand.

49:23 Drew How would you learn how to fly it?

49:25 Adam I figured out on the job, on the job. As long as it's got an ejector seat, I don't care. You know, that's my thing. As long as I can punch out.

49:32 Drew But then you see Top Gun. Oh, you could hit the canopy. Yeah.

49:36 Adam Oh, that's right.

49:37 Drew That's right. It's dangerous.

49:38 Adam Scarecrow could hit the canopy or whatever his name is.

49:40 Drew Goose.

49:40 Adam Goose. That's right. Drew, what the hell do you know about Top Gun? That's the only movie I've ever heard you say anything about. Were your kids watching Top Gun?

49:49 Drew No, way before they were born.

49:52 Adam What do you know about Goose and Top Gun?

49:53 Drew I just remember watching that movie. I'm just saying.

49:55 Adam Very homoerotic movie, by the way.

49:57 Drew Really?

49:58 Adam Yes.

49:58 Drew Pick up on those nuances.

50:00 Adam What about when they're playing volleyball and everyone's shirts were off and they're moving in slow motion?

50:05 Drew Actually, that part didn't stay with me quite the way it did with you.

50:08 Adam Oh, yes. Very homoerotic. A lot of guys like clenching their jaws in towels, squaring off. You know, we see in these sort of... And really, most of these movies are just... These John Woo movies are really just gay porn. It's like, well, yeah, it's an $80 million gay porn film. Stars like Tom Cruise and Goose. A lot of guys in a lot of these movies, like macho movies, a lot of guys squaring off in the locker room.

50:36 Drew You mean having a fight in the locker room?

50:38 Adam Just getting in each other's grill in the locker room. A lot of macho movies doing that.

50:42 Drew That never happens.

50:42 Adam It never happens in real life.

50:44 Drew What happens is people goof around in the locker room.

50:46 Adam People play grab ass, they do the towel thing, they do the rat's tail thing, they snap the ass, they put the Ben Gay in the jock, while one guy's talking to the other guy, the other guy holds the cup over the guy's mouth like it's a breathing apparatus. I've been in a thousand locker rooms all goofing off, but never squared off with a guy.

51:05 Drew Lock him in the locker, throw him in there and slam the door.

51:07 Adam That's what they do in every macho movie, especially anything that has to do with high school or some buff guy in a town who's pushing another guy into a locker.

51:15 Drew It never happens.

51:16 Adam No, guys fight in parking lots, they fight in bars, a little road rage, but never square off in a locker room.

51:24 Drew No.

51:24 Adam No, you see, I think that's the gay man's version of how straight guys act.

51:29 Drew Or it's guys that have, right, the guys who haven't played football.

51:31 Adam Guys don't like to square off when they're almost nude.

51:34 Drew That and with their teammates.

51:36 Adam Yeah, yeah, right, yeah.

51:38 Drew If they really have issues, they're gonna have sorted that out in the field. It's all gone.

51:43 Adam The actual percentage of people being pushed up against lockers in movies versus real life?

51:48 Drew Thousand and nine.

51:49 Adam Yeah. Have you ever pushed someone against a locker?

51:52 Drew No, just goofing around.

51:53 Adam Yeah. A lot of macho locker talk. I don't know, guys are all greased up to come out of the shower. I'm getting horny. Mandy?

52:03 Caller Yes?

52:04 Adam You're 17?

52:04 Drew Mandy's got the guy who has sex with her and then when he's refractory and becoming flaccid, wants her to do something more.

52:14 Caller Okay. Maybe I can rephrase my question. Is it possible for a man to still get pleasure after he climaxes? Maybe that's a better way to put it.

52:24 Adam Yes. Through eating.

52:25 Drew Yes, he can.

52:26 Adam That's how I receive my greatest pleasure.

52:28 Drew Some young males, like 18, 19, 18, 20 year old males can climax a second time. Is that what you're talking about?

52:33 Adam Yes, she means moments after.

52:35 Caller I mean, after we just get done having sex, he's like, quick, suck it.

52:42 Drew This guy's all class.

52:44 Adam Sir Walter Raleigh.

52:46 Caller Wow.

52:47 Adam Of Ohio.

52:48 Drew I don't know what that is.

52:49 Caller I need to do it.

52:51 Adam All right, well, Mandy, how about you don't suck it next time?

52:54 Caller I was thinking about that.

52:56 Adam All right.

52:57 Caller All right, you guys have a good night.

53:01 Adam I think this is a bogus call. I think that was bogus, Drew.

53:05 Drew Maybe. It's been bogus night. It tends to go in series, you know what I'm saying?

53:09 Adam But I still got that angry chick thing from her.

53:11 Drew Yeah, I didn't get bogus. I got just f'd up. F'd up, yeah. Whatever. Let's get a germ your floor. Let's get a little more.

53:19 Adam Yeah, guys are nervy these days, by the way. Yeah, well the 16, 17 year old guys with the suck it decree after orgasming. Oh, what about the little anal sex?

53:31 Drew Yeah.

53:32 Adam These things, you know, oh, we can't have intercourse. You don't like me, you're not attractive. Yeah, but just a little hummer. These things didn't exist when I was in high school.

53:41 Drew Yeah, I think we have fully indoctrinated young males, the notion that a young female is just like them.

53:47 Adam Right.

53:47 Drew Because they treat them the way they would treat a male version.

53:50 Adam But women have bought into it too.

53:52 Drew Of course.

53:53 Adam When I was in high school, I don't think young people had genitalia.

53:57 Drew When you were in high school, they didn't.

53:59 Adam That's what I'm saying.

54:00 Drew Yeah, they didn't.

54:00 Adam They're smooth.

54:02 Drew You know Barbie dolls.

54:03 Adam Well, you know like how Marilyn Manson looks, you know, when there's like record covers and stuff. It was that kind of thing, smoothed over. It was like someone took clay and just just moved it over. Like they're, you know, making a concept car on someone's groin. You know what I'm saying?

54:16 Drew That was that.

54:17 Adam All right. I'm just saying. Drew, don't put the sticker over the guy's name. Ian?

54:23 Yeah?

54:24 Adam You're 14?

54:25 Drew Yep.

54:26 Adam You want to play Germany or Florida?

54:28 Yes.

54:29 Adam All right. Give us, give us the quote.

54:31 All right. A local politician wants to use DNA technology to chase down owners of dogs that leave their droppings on streets and sidewalks. A counselor of a local district said Monday he wants the city to register all dogs' DNA so that droppings left behind during walks can be tested. And the owner of the guilty dog punished.

54:48 Drew Hmm. Where was the, now let me hear, see where my brain goes with that. I was thinking Germany all the way. And just because of the technology and the sort of the mad scientist quality told us.

54:58 Adam Yeah.

54:59 Drew And then I thought, well now wait a minute. This is a very expensive proposition.

55:03 Adam Yeah.

55:03 Drew Where could they afford that? Palm Beach. West Palm Beach.

55:06 Adam Technologically feels German.

55:08 Drew But, but money sounds like that part of Florida.

55:11 Adam Yeah, but if you try to pull that off out here, those ACLU, ACLU pussies would be all over it.

55:16 Drew That could be true.

55:17 Adam You know what I mean?

55:18 Drew Let's go Germany.

55:18 Adam Those pussies from the ACLU don't even want DNA testing for guys that are on death row. So they could get some of these things off the books. Somebody stop these idiots, by the way, before they destroy our country. All right. Ian, you're going Germany?

55:30 Drew Yeah, let's go Germany. Let's go Germany.

55:32 Adam You want me to go Germany?

55:33 Drew You convinced me.

55:34 Adam It technologically feels German.

55:36 Drew But the expense feels part of Florida. And it's kind of weird that parts of people live in that part of Florida are kind of extravagant that way.

55:45 Adam I think people in Germany clean up after their dogs.

55:48 Drew So they wouldn't have a problem. Very fastidious.

55:50 Adam Yeah. What do you think?

55:51 Drew Back to Florida. All right.

55:52 Adam I'm going Germany. Ian?

55:55 Yeah?

55:55 Adam Is it Germany or Florida?

55:57 It was Germany.

55:58 Yeah.

55:59 Adam Hell yeah.

56:02 Caller Yes.

56:03 Adam Oh, that's what you call painful. Vindication. You know what I'm saying? Because I've been I've been playing Germany a lot.

56:11 Drew Yeah. And what it is that to.

56:14 Adam Oh, let me tell you something. You know, you you you live by the Prussian helmet. You die by the Prussian helmet. I have been I've gotten burned more than once over the last few weeks by sticking with Germany, but like a compulsive gambler. Playing, playing a number on a roulette wheel. Eventually comes with it and eventually came in.

56:32 Drew Mind you, you've lost eight grand in the meantime.

56:34 Adam But that's right. And yeah, God love you, brother.

56:38 Caller Well done.

56:40 I want to say that me and my friends played Adam Corolla the day after it was created.

56:44 Adam Oh, in the swimming pool.

56:46 Yeah.

56:47 Drew Well done.

56:48 Adam Awesome. Awesome. All right. Thank you, Ian. God bless you and your friends. All right. What grade are you in? 8th grade?

56:56 I have two days of 8th grade left.

56:58 Adam Two days.

56:59 Drew On to 9th grade.

57:00 Adam On to 9th. You go in high school?

57:02 Caller Yeah.

57:03 Adam Awesome.

57:04 Drew Are you in Washington, DC or Washington state?

57:06 Caller Huh?

57:07 Drew Washington, DC or Washington state?

57:10 Washington state.

57:11 Adam All right. And you're going to a public school?

57:13 Yeah.

57:14 Adam All right. All right, buddy. Good luck. You got to try out for any teams or anything?

57:18 Drew Yeah.

57:19 Cross country wrestling and track.

57:21 Adam Wow.

57:21 Drew Nice.

57:22 Adam Yeah. Isn't cross country and track not the same thing, huh?

57:26 No, they're not.

57:27 Drew No, no.

57:27 Adam All right. What the hell do you need a cross country team for when you're in high school?

57:31 Drew I'm just saying.

57:32 Adam The guys in the cross country team were the weird dudes, the super skinny guys with weird facial hair. And then all they would do is take them up to the mountain and tell them to run around for two days. And then come back, did not translate into an ounce of Poon Tang, by the way. There's no-

57:46 Drew And everyone knows that's the only reason to do high school sports.

57:49 Adam Well, running is something you do. Like cross country running is like for when your car breaks down in the desert. It doesn't really get you anywhere.

57:58 Drew How about cross country skiing? Is that something you could relate to?

58:00 Adam If you're like Nordic and you know, one of those things that was passed down to you or something.

58:05 Drew Doesn't float your boat. Doesn't float your boat. It takes all kinds, Adam.

58:08 Adam I couldn't call this sport.

58:09 Drew Takes all kinds.

58:10 Adam Here's what I'm saying, Drew. When you're 15, you should take up golf or tennis or something. Take up a skill sport. Yeah, skill sport. You can always run. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And do you really need to run cross country when you're 15? All right. And also these high schools with the 9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th. You know, when I went to high schools, this 10th, 11th, and 12th, and still the 10th graders were getting their ass kicked. Now the 9th graders show up. Look out. Scrub City.

58:37 Drew Oh, yeah.

58:39 Adam I mean, imagine one. Oh, they're going to get crushes on the senior chicks.

58:42 Drew Oh, yeah. And you hear, you know, the differences in the onset of puberty. You hear old Ian there.

58:46 Adam Ian's like, oh, no, it's a wrestling day.

58:48 Drew Yeah. And some 14-year-olds sound like us. Huh? Just saying.

58:53 Adam All right. Let's talk to Jack. Jack?

58:57 Caller Oh, what's up?

58:58 Adam You're 18.

59:00 Caller Yeah.

59:01 Adam You have sexual desires for your sister?

59:04 Caller Uh-huh.

59:07 Drew All the time?

59:07 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

59:09 Drew How old is your sister?

59:11 Caller Um, 24.

59:14 Drew And you mean just sort of fleeting sort of fantasies or you actually have an intent?

59:19 Caller No, just, just, well, yeah, just fantasies, I guess. But I kind of wanted to stop because, you know, I like date a lot of other girls, but I don't have any sexual feelings for them. So I think it's my sister, my feelings for my sister that's keeping me from doing that.

59:34 Drew A lot of other girls. Jack, strike you as someone who dates a lot of other girls?

59:39 Adam Possibly dead hookers that are, you know, propped up around a tea table in his apartment, but no, not actual breathing girls.

59:47 Drew Calls them Mrs. Beasley.

59:49 Adam Yeah. Jack.

59:51 Caller What's up?

59:52 Adam Are you living at home?

59:53 Caller Yeah.

59:54 Drew Well, here's the sort of way to differentiate.

59:56 Adam Are you a virgin?

59:58 Caller Yeah.

59:59 Adam Shocking. You date lots of other girls.

1:00:06 Caller Okay.

1:00:06 Drew One other girl.

1:00:08 Adam Do you really date lots of other girls?

1:00:10 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

1:00:12 Adam Well, you don't have sex with any of them.

1:00:14 Caller No. When it comes to other girls, I guess I'm just not as sexually attracted to them as other guys, I guess.

1:00:23 Adam And your sister, have you ever masturbated to her?

1:00:27 Caller Oh, yeah. I've done it for three or four years now. All right.

1:00:30 Drew And just to sort of square off how bad things are getting here, have you done anything with your sister ever?

1:00:36 Caller No. No.

1:00:37 Drew Has anybody, has any family member, any other adult sort of been sexually inappropriate with you when you were a child?

1:00:43 Caller No. I mean, I've been seeing a psychologist for my depression and things, and I've talked to her about it. And, you know, she's been giving me some ideas, but, you know, I just wanted to know what you guys are saying.

1:00:54 Drew What are the ideas that she's telling you?

1:00:57 Caller She said one would be to move out, just to not see her. One, she said, you know, like, force yourself, you know, if you have to, you could wear a band-aid every time you think about it, you know, snap the band-aid on your wrist. You could do that.

1:01:08 Drew Not a band-aid, you mean a rubber band?

1:01:10 Caller Yeah, I'm sorry.

1:01:12 Drew And you have obsessive compulsive disorder?

1:01:17 Caller A little bit. Yeah, she diagnosed me with a little bit of that.

1:01:20 Drew Okay, because I think that may be more what this is than a genuine intent to be sexually active with your sister.

1:01:26 Adam Well, is your sister hot? I mean, just to be fair.

1:01:29 Caller Yeah, I think so.

1:01:31 Adam All right, well, you know, I mean, you know, I'm not condoning it, but if your sister's, you know, easy on the eyes, it's a little different story.

1:01:38 Drew Are you on any medication for the OCD?

1:01:40 Caller Right, I am.

1:01:41 Drew What are you taking?

1:01:42 Caller Well, it's an antidepressant, Zoloft, but it does help that a little bit.

1:01:46 Adam Hold on, let me talk to Dr. Drew in private for a second. Jack is amazingly forthcoming.

1:01:52 Drew No, this is obviously, obsessive compulsive disorder, you have very intrusive thoughts at the end of your mind and are very disturbing and unpleasant.

1:01:58 Adam That means he's very willing to talk about it.

1:02:00 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:02:00 Adam Well, what do you mean, yeah, yeah? I mean, most guys around sexual desires toward their siblings would not just sit down and talk to the shrink about it.

1:02:08 Drew I think it's because they're not real intent, they're just disturbing thoughts, it's flowed in from the outside.

1:02:12 Adam It's sort of Tourette-sy.

1:02:14 Drew Yeah, these are compulsions, they're obsessions. That's what obsessive compulsive disorder, these weird obsessions come in, they're always uncomfortable, they're always sort of ashamed of them. But once they start talking about them, they're separate from any sort of interaction.

1:02:26 Adam What about schizophrenia?

1:02:28 Drew He's 18. Schizophrenia can have OCD qualities to it, but he's not describing any of those kinds of symptoms.

1:02:33 Adam Jack?

1:02:34 Caller What's up?

1:02:36 Adam So do you feel a sense of shame about this?

1:02:39 Caller Yeah, yeah I do.

1:02:42 Adam All right.

1:02:42 Drew You may need to talk to your doctor about a stronger medication. In fact Prozac is a little better for OCD. Do you have other kind of rituals you do, that sort of thing?

1:02:50 Caller Yeah, there are a few other things I'm working on, but they're not the actual things.

1:02:54 Drew What are the rituals?

1:02:56 Caller Like a speedometer. I check my speedometer very often, you know.

1:03:00 Adam Your odometer. Your odometer or your speedometer?

1:03:04 Caller On my car, on my car.

1:03:05 Drew What else do you use?

1:03:06 Adam Wait a minute, while you're driving?

1:03:07 Caller Yes.

1:03:08 Drew Do you flick light switches on and off, that sort of thing?

1:03:10 Caller No, I just like to check my speed very often. That's the thing.

1:03:15 Drew How about when you're not on the medication? Were there other more intense sorts of preoccupations?

1:03:19 Caller No, I mean, I think it was just a mild OCD. It wasn't that severe, but my psychologist thinks that my sexual desires are, they are rooting from my OCD.

1:03:29 Drew No, I agree with her.

1:03:30 Adam Jack?

1:03:31 Caller You do?

1:03:31 Adam Yeah. I agree with your shrink when she says, get out of your house.

1:03:34 Drew Yep, I agree with that too.

1:03:35 Adam And you sound like a smart guy, even though you're troubled. Can you get a job? Can you support yourself?

1:03:43 Caller Yeah, yeah, I have a job. I mean, I'm going to school. I'm doing well at school and stuff. It's just when it comes to social with girls and stuff, you know, I'm having a little trouble.

1:03:50 Drew Yeah, that's all right.

1:03:51 Adam You're 18. Don't worry about it.

1:03:52 Drew I talked to the doctor about a stronger serotonin reuptake inhibiting drugs, Prozac sometimes a little stronger. It's another medicine called Luvox. Might be helpful for you.

1:03:58 Adam What 18 year old doesn't have some difficulty with the ladies, though, Drew?

1:04:02 Drew I wouldn't know, because, no, I had nothing but difficulty.

1:04:06 Adam Yeah, yeah. That's what I mean. I mean, I think a lot of guys feel like, oh, this is gonna be it. This is a death sentence. Here's how I am with women at 18, and here I shall ever be this way.

1:04:18 Drew But it's a slightly different thought process in that it's just today is forever.

1:04:25 Adam Yeah.

1:04:25 Drew Period. Whatever I'm experiencing at this moment is so intense that it doesn't matter about forever, because this is forever.

1:04:30 Adam And not everyone wants to have their own sister, but, again, we can't judge, and I do believe if he does actually have intercourse with his sister that everything happens for a reason, you know. I just believe that. I just believe everything happens for a reason, even intercourse with own, you know, sibling. But guys need to work on not convincing chicks to be into them, but to having a more attractive lifestyle for the ladies, which isn't the one they think it is.

1:04:57 Drew Like what you mean?

1:04:58 Adam Drew? Drew has a big question mark over his head. I think what a lot of guys do, 18, 19 year olds, is they're like, chicks like guys with big muscles, so I'm going to go to the gym and I'm going to get on the juice and I'm going to grease myself up and I'm going to shave myself. Chicks like dudes who drive, you know, candy, apple, red Corvettes. So I'm going to get a piece of crap used one out of the recycler that's going to break down. Chicks like, chicks like, chicks like. Before you know it, they become a caricature of men. They become Larry, Jack Tripper's a neighbor from Thrice Company. You know, medallions and open shirts and this kind of stuff. That repulses all smart chicks.

1:05:38 Drew All chicks, I think. Women like guys.

1:05:40 Adam There's a handful of sort of strippers that are into the greased up guys.

1:05:43 Drew But you got to actually be a sociopath then. You can't pretend to be a sociopath. You actually have to be one.

1:05:48 Adam Yeah, like you have the thong, tan line and the shaved, greased ass. That's just, you will attract a handful of porn stars, but that's about it. Yes?

1:05:59 Drew Yes.

1:05:59 Adam Alright, so the point is, if you want to get chicks and you're a guy, first off, look like, pretend like you're making an investment. Don't look short-term gain, look long-term, look into the future. Look down the road five years. That means getting a good gig. That means having stuff you're into. Chicks like guys that are into stuff.

1:06:22 Drew You should call it women like men that are competent. Yes. Competency.

1:06:25 Adam Yes. And you can't fake competency.

1:06:28 Drew Competency and confidence and sort of in control of themselves and their lives.

1:06:31 Adam Yeah, and they like guys that are into life in general, actually.

1:06:36 Drew Into their own life.

1:06:37 Adam And their own life, right. So, you gotta get good, whatever your school is, finish it up and go to work, make some money, not because women respond to the sports cars and the fancy restaurants, but that money is a symbol of a man's competence. Yes, Drew?

1:06:55 Drew Yes, sir. Okay.

1:06:57 Adam I've always said that. I don't think chicks really like money. Like the guy who's...

1:07:01 Drew They like what the symbol of what it means.

1:07:02 Adam Yeah, like the schlub who lives at home and then he wins the lottery. He doesn't get a lot of chicks. It's the guy who starts his own record label up and has a couple of businesses going in a clothing line.

1:07:13 Drew Yeah.

1:07:13 Adam They're totally into that.

1:07:15 Drew Yeah.

1:07:15 Adam Yes?

1:07:15 Drew Yes.

1:07:16 Adam Yes. I got to start a t-shirt company.

1:07:19 Drew Let's do it. Let's do it.

1:07:20 Adam Let's get it.

1:07:21 Drew We're married.

1:07:22 Adam That's right.

1:07:23 Drew We got to get our wives to get interested.

1:07:24 Adam That's awesome.

1:07:25 Drew If we were gay, Kate, hi, we would have a good life, wouldn't we?

1:07:30 Adam Oh, my God.

1:07:31 Drew Oh, Fatima, I were gay.

1:07:32 Adam Oh, Drew out just bringing home the bacon, me frying it up in a pan.

1:07:38 Drew No, no, it'd be me working. I would do more. I'd have more time for community service.

1:07:43 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:07:44 Drew We'd be recycling.

1:07:45 Adam Oh, you'd be traveling the world healing the lepers.

1:07:49 Drew You'd be at home just repairing the house.

1:07:51 Adam Just working on the house.

1:07:51 Drew Just working constantly.

1:07:53 Adam Yeah.

1:07:53 Drew Just designing and refurbishing the building.

1:07:56 Adam And if we were gay, we would have great taste, so we'd have very smart, upscale, modern dwellings.

1:08:04 Drew We'd collect art.

1:08:05 Adam Yeah, we'd have art. And you know what? We'd have the way of us to buy art, because the straight guys were scared to buy art.

1:08:10 Drew We wouldn't have any kids.

1:08:12 Adam Yeah. Oh, you spent 50 grand on Mother Teresa's Dunked In Urine. Fantastic investment, Drew.

1:08:20 Drew How are you going to talk about this? It's a one-year college for one of my kids.

1:08:22 Adam I'm giving you a reach around a night. Nice work, buddy.

1:08:25 Drew That's cute.

1:08:26 Adam That's right. Awesome. And we'd like to have separate bedrooms. We'd do our own thing.

1:08:32 Drew We'd have to have concubines and things. Yeah, yeah.

1:08:35 Adam I'm bringing home lovers.

1:08:36 Drew It'd be you and me.

1:08:37 Adam I've taken another lover, Drew.

1:08:39 Drew I'm just saying.

1:08:40 Adam I'm just saying.

1:08:40 Drew It'd be you and me. You know what I'm talking about? It wouldn't be two random gay guys. It'd be you and me.

1:08:45 Adam I knew. I had a gay friend. This guy had a state-of-the-art house. Kids will F up whatever you try to do nice. Hardwood floors and modernness and that. Beautiful. I used to build the guy furniture. I built his boyfriend a bed and I built him a bed. They had their own bedrooms.

1:09:03 Drew Nice.

1:09:03 Adam They would like take separate vacations. They had their own life. Of course. What's the while they meet in the hall for a little BJ and then it's back to your own room?

1:09:11 Drew Nirvana.

1:09:12 Adam Awesome. The guy's dead now.

1:09:14 Drew Uh-oh.

1:09:16 Adam Yeah, sad. Good guy.

1:09:18 Drew No kidding. Take a break.

1:09:21 Adam Yeah? Yeah. It's kind of a bummer though. We wouldn't die if we were gay. Yeah.

1:09:26 Drew Well, not unless one of us screwed up and got HIV with all the sex and all the extra guys.

1:09:31 Adam You know what? I wouldn't, you know, I would watch. I watch and diddle myself. I don't get into it with the young guys. That's my thing.

1:09:39 Drew Would we have sex with women too?

1:09:40 Adam I'm a watcher.

1:09:41 Drew Would we have sex with women too? No. Oh, fair.

1:09:44 Adam Fair. We're gay, remember?

1:09:46 Drew Oh yeah.

1:09:46 Adam Okay.

1:09:47 Drew It's hard to kind of remember.

1:09:48 Adam Let's go, buddy. Let's go. Come on. The gay train is leaving. We need you on board. We need you in the caboose. We will take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Kate Bicurious. Speaking of the Dell, wants to have a threesome with best friend. Tell boyfriend. Hold on one second. Kate?

1:10:09 Caller Hello.

1:10:10 Adam Hello. 19?

1:10:12 Caller Yes.

1:10:13 Adam Bicurious?

1:10:14 Caller Yes.

1:10:15 Adam You have a boyfriend?

1:10:16 Caller Yes, I have a boyfriend.

1:10:17 Adam How long have you two been together?

1:10:19 Caller We've been together for like a year and a half. What my question is really is, is it always a bad thing for somebody to want to have a threesome?

1:10:32 Drew Hold on. Hold on.

1:10:33 Adam Hey, Drew. You know what? That's one of the rare moments we actually had a decent radio impulse simultaneously.

1:10:38 Drew It never happened before.

1:10:39 Adam Now, it's usually Drew has a decent radio impulse by going, okay, we'll go to break. We'll get to this one and come back to the back sound. And me going, wait a minute, I'll tell you what. Or vice versa, Drew just powering through something and me not listening.

1:10:52 Drew That was awesome. How dare you suggest that? I got something to say.

1:10:56 Adam We are a gay simpatico now, Drew.

1:10:58 Drew You know, we were lost in that fantasy.

1:11:01 Adam We really were.

1:11:01 Drew It's heart breaking to think that's not going to happen.

1:11:03 Adam Hey Drew, easy on the eyes.

1:11:05 Drew You know, let's do it.

1:11:06 Adam Working out. I'm working on the house.

1:11:08 Drew We can sit our wives down and just have a little conversation with them.

1:11:11 Adam Look, they're, you know, they're, they're, they're, they're.

1:11:15 Drew They're modern women. They're modern women.

1:11:18 Adam Let's take a break. Let's take a break. All right, we'll, we'll be right back with Kate and her blossoming bisexuality after this. 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:11:33 Caller The Love Line will be right back.

1:11:53 Adam Yeah.

1:11:53 Caller Hey, everybody.

1:11:58 Adam Drew swung by the vending machine. By Curious Kate. Kate.

1:12:06 Caller Oh, yes.

1:12:08 Adam Hey.

1:12:08 Caller Hello.

1:12:09 Adam Yeah, you're 19. You sound hot.

1:12:11 Caller Oh, thank you.

1:12:13 Adam Are you?

1:12:14 Caller Oh, I've gotten a lot of compliments before about it. Yeah.

1:12:17 Drew So far.

1:12:17 Adam Really?

1:12:18 Caller Yeah.

1:12:19 Adam What do you look like?

1:12:20 Caller I'm 5'11, and I'm like 140 pounds, blonde hair. I'm white. I do a lot of yoga.

1:12:31 Adam So. Oh, really?

1:12:32 Caller That way.

1:12:33 Yeah.

1:12:34 Drew What's the question?

1:12:35 Caller Well, I'm curious about this. Like, I'm with my boyfriend and we both want to have a threesome. Like we've actually had one before, but I'm curious, like, does it always make sense?

1:12:46 Adam How did the one go before?

1:12:48 Caller Well, it was all right, but it's hard to find a girl that's attractive and everything that's into it.

1:12:55 Drew You didn't have any weird feelings about seeing your boyfriend with another girl?

1:12:58 Caller No, I didn't. Like, I didn't feel jealous or anything.

1:13:02 Adam Did he have intercourse with her?

1:13:04 Caller Yeah.

1:13:05 Adam And what were you doing during that point?

1:13:09 Caller Well, just kind of like not facilitating it, but I was in different positions and everything. I went down on her and that was not at all pleasant for me.

1:13:19 Adam Oh, really?

1:13:20 Caller Yeah.

1:13:21 Adam What makes you want to be, why would you do it again? Yeah.

1:13:24 Caller Well, I think like thinking about it, it's kind of a sexy thing.

1:13:29 Drew Yeah.

1:13:29 Caller My boyfriend is more interested in it. Like, he's interested in it.

1:13:33 Adam He's pushing this one along.

1:13:34 Drew This is his deal. Oh, boy, Kate. I just get the sense Kate was exploited growing up. Just like, completely, you know, sort of like a, like a, you know, somebody's women beckon call, like a slave or something.

1:13:47 Adam Well, so she's not really bi-curious. She tried going down on a chick and wasn't really that into it.

1:13:54 Drew She tried to do it to make her boyfriend happy. It really is what it boils down to.

1:13:58 Adam Yeah. And he dug it and she didn't. And now she's going, well, maybe I should try it again.

1:14:04 Drew Just because for the same reason you did it in the first place.

1:14:06 Adam Boyfriend is pushing it along.

1:14:07 Drew Yeah.

1:14:07 Adam It's an awesome gig. Like if your boyfriend and especially if you got a chick that ain't actually bisexual, like you don't have to worry about her taking off. Like, look, how about another threesome? Which basically means you get to watch me hump this chick. And then at a certain point you hold your nose and go down on her for 10 minutes while I beat off.

1:14:27 Drew She doesn't have to do that even. He just has his way with both of them. Oh, really? Son of a bitch.

1:14:35 Adam I'm angry at this guy now.

1:14:36 Caller Wait, Adam, Adam.

1:14:38 Adam What's your boyfriend do? Is he a bartender?

1:14:40 Caller Oh, no, no, no, no, no. But check this out. No, I was very interested. I'm attracted to girls and I was attracted to girls before I met my boyfriend. And I like the whole thing. I like the upper body, but the lower body is not so hot to me.

1:14:52 Adam Yeah.

1:14:53 Caller You know what I'm saying? But what I'm really curious about is, like we're the kind of people, like we do lots of yoga and like all sorts of things. Like we're vegan. We've traveled.

1:15:04 Drew Of course. Kate, what happened to you growing up? I mean, something awful.

1:15:08 Adam Here was my, here's my, I take, here's my Kate take. Drew, you give me your Kate take. My Kate take is, I didn't get sexual abuse, physical abuse, domineering, whatever. I got sort of hippie, lovey.

1:15:24 Drew I got nothing. Yeah, I got zero, nothing.

1:15:27 Adam No, I'll tell you what I got even. I got this weird sort of European, Nordic-y kind of like those European families that walk around in the nude and, and, and keep like, keep reiterating to the kid your sexuality is nothing you should be ashamed of. You should never be ashamed of your sexuality. That kind of thing.

1:15:47 Drew That's not enough.

1:15:48 Adam Really?

1:15:49 Drew Yeah, not at 19. But this is not, this is, this is more like hereditary parents or something.

1:15:54 Adam Kate?

1:15:55 Drew Yes?

1:15:55 Adam Let's talk about your parents.

1:15:56 Caller Okay.

1:15:57 Adam What's their, what's their deal?

1:15:59 Caller Oh, my parents. They're, I don't get along with them. Well, I was growing up, I got along with them really well. My, let's see, my mom's a nurse, but they're like, they've got problems that they're not.

1:16:12 Drew What are the problems?

1:16:13 Caller Well, my mom grew up in like, like her mom had four different husbands and my mom had to take care of her brothers and sisters or like six kids. And she had to take care of them and all that.

1:16:25 Drew Now she's a nurse.

1:16:26 Caller She's like a hardworking woman, like totally strict, totally mean, like I'm trying to go for, to go to school, like go to university and everything and they don't support me at all.

1:16:35 Adam And your dad is, he's another one of those schlubs, like your mom, like her mom.

1:16:40 Caller No, actually my dad came from a lot of money, but when he met my mom, like, I don't know, he decided he didn't want to have the wealthy life or whatever, but my dad, he's not educated and he's like a, he lays tile and stuff like that.

1:16:55 Adam And what about all this money?

1:16:57 Caller Oh yeah, from his side, they have a lot of money, they're all doctors and everything, but he did a lot of drugs and he was kind of like a hippie guy and stuff.

1:17:07 Drew Okay, there you go, that's what I got. That's the part I got the drug addiction.

1:17:10 Adam I got the hippie part.

1:17:11 Caller But they don't, they do not at all treat me all hippie or anything like that, even though I could be considered that kind of thing. I don't get it from them. I don't get along with them any longer.

1:17:22 Drew Actually, when they study this, the actual hippie parents are more likely to have punk children.

1:17:25 Adam Oh, I see.

1:17:26 Drew I don't know how that works out. This is strict parents tend to have the hippie.

1:17:29 Caller Like the only abuse I remember is when I was really young, my parents sent me to a babysitter and I remember something happening like with the husband. I can't remember exactly what, but it's like I have this feeling that there was some kind of sexual abuse there.

1:17:46 Drew Fabulous.

1:17:46 Caller Yeah.

1:17:47 Drew All right.

1:17:47 Adam Well, listen, baby doll.

1:17:49 Drew This is not a healthy description of a childhood, right? My dad's a loser, a drug addict who couldn't function.

1:17:55 Caller No longer. I mean, that was in the-

1:17:58 Drew When you were in your formative years, when you were important to you.

1:18:00 Adam Yeah, the important part. Now it doesn't matter.

1:18:02 Drew Yeah, he was a drug addict. My mother was an overbearing codependent, pain in the ass, and I was sexually abused.

1:18:08 Adam Yeah.

1:18:09 Drew That's not a good story.

1:18:10 Adam You, by the way, being into chicks, being into the upper half of chicks is like saying, I'm really into burgers, but not the meat part. Actually, slide that out, just some bun and lettuce. You ain't that into it.

1:18:22 Caller Yeah.

1:18:23 Adam No, you ain't that into it. You have no boundaries. You're all over the place. Your boyfriend's manipulating you, and he finds you to be a putty.

1:18:31 Drew And he's got to be a drug addict, too. He's got to be an alcoholic or something.

1:18:34 Caller Oh, no, no, no, no, no. He's not an alcoholic at all, but his father was.

1:18:37 Drew Right, so he's got the gene.

1:18:38 Adam What's he do?

1:18:39 Drew He's got to have the gene, too. You would be attracted to him if he didn't have that gene. That your dad had the gene.

1:18:44 Caller He's not like that at all. He doesn't do any drugs or anything.

1:18:47 Adam What does he sell for a living?

1:18:49 Caller What does he do for a living? Yes. Well, he just graduated. He was a graduate student, and now he's writing and he's teaching, like, Buddhist religion. I love these things. No, no, no, no, no, not, I mean, like, writing books and things like this.

1:19:04 Adam I know, I know.

1:19:04 Drew He didn't do a bunch of drugs at one time?

1:19:06 Caller No, no, no.

1:19:08 Adam He's one of these spiritual guys who's, here's a spiritual quest. My joint needs to find a vagina. That's the quest. These guys are sitting there talking about it.

1:19:18 Drew He manipulates her into another.

1:19:18 Adam Sitting in a lotus position all day long.

1:19:20 Drew He's kind of like a cult leader.

1:19:22 Adam Yeah, smelling of patchouli oil, talking about discipline and chi and just trying to bang every co-ed who comes through his class. Guys are so full of crap. It's like all these, Drew and I always talk about these spiritual leaders, these guys who start these cults and all this. What is it? It's white guys in the 40s who are trying to bang 15 year olds. It all gets down to it. Any chick cult leaders?

1:19:47 Drew No, never.

1:19:48 Adam No chick cult leaders.

1:19:49 Drew And always the cult leader has special ceremonial relations with the daughters of some of the women. Oh yeah. Always, always.

1:19:57 Adam It always starts off as getting closer to God and joining together in group singing and eventually just deteriorates into bring me your 13-year-old honey, I got a banger while you watch.

1:20:07 Drew Yeah.

1:20:07 Adam That's every cult leader. It's all the same.

1:20:10 Drew Everyone. Why people don't know that?

1:20:11 Adam They never get into it either. You know, they talk and they sort of brush over it. Oh, he believed he was the incarnate of Jesus Christ. He believed he had power. He believed and some people accuse him. He had sex with my four daughters. They were at nine.

1:20:23 Drew Yeah. When you deconstruct, when people get out of cults, they always have those kinds of stories.

1:20:30 Adam Find me someone who was in a cult. Find me a young woman who was in a cult and get nailed by the leader. Yes, it's just a sex farm, Drew.

1:20:39 Drew Yes.

1:20:40 Adam That's what it is.

1:20:41 Drew That's what it is.

1:20:41 Adam And the cult is just a ruse to get young chicks in there, brainwash them and nail them. And you just find the ones that were sexually abused and they're out on the street and they're running away from a stepdad who was feeling them up 20 minutes ago. Oh yeah, bring them on in. Oh, my child, come on in. Yep, start sucking. Idiots. That's why these guys need a bullet in their head by the way. It's not forget about the religious stuff and everyone gets stuck into this sort of moral implications of the religion and all this stuff. No, these guys are always pedophiles. They always end up nailing them.

1:21:11 Drew They're pedophiles but they're certainly manipulative, you know, abuse.

1:21:14 Adam They all end up in like orgies and then the head guy gets to bang the most chicks.

1:21:20 Drew Not always with the young chicks.

1:21:20 Adam Almost all the time they have to start offering your daughters.

1:21:24 Drew Yeah, but the daughters can be older sometimes. It's not always pedophilia.

1:21:28 Adam It's always inappropriate. It's always.

1:21:30 Drew But now Kate's boyfriend is sort of a light version of that.

1:21:32 Adam What do you think these 55-year-old nim-tards are waiting until the chick's 18th birthday to do it? They'll take them at 15.

1:21:39 Drew Yeah, they will, but they're only attracted to adults.

1:21:41 Adam It's their cult. It's their land.

1:21:42 Drew Yeah, yeah. They can't wait. But Kate's boyfriend is like a light version of that. He's a mini version.

1:21:49 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:21:50 Drew He could convert into that at 40.

1:21:52 Adam Oh, he's a Lenny Kravitz version of that. He's like Sting and Lenny Kravitz. Like Lenny Kravitz, he's talking about peace and love and love and peace. Take your panties off, bitch. I got to F you. But but but but peace. I mean, love. I mean, it's beautiful, man. It's so beautiful. Take you two, your friend. Yeah, lose the panties. Yeah, because I'm into love and I'm into peace. And I believe there's a spirit and start sucking.

1:22:17 Caller Start sucking.

1:22:19 Adam Yeah, because I believe I can see your aura, you know? Yeah, but turn around. I'm going to see from behind. Yeah, bend over. Yeah, that's all these guys are. It's just it's a great ramp to nail people. And you chicks are stupid and you fall for it.

1:22:33 Drew And the guys may believe it themselves. I think they believe it.

1:22:35 Adam Well, that just makes them sociopaths.

1:22:37 Drew Right. Right.

1:22:37 Adam They get a bunch of crapple tribal tats. This one's spirit, man, because I believe that, you know, they're reincarnation and they're into the earth. They're into this. It's all one big funnel that just leads to your crotch. Ladies, that's all it is to show all their earth BS and all the patchouli BS and all their spirituality and their aura and all that. And all they do is get laid.

1:23:00 Drew And by the way, they're not interested in just one vagina.

1:23:02 Adam Hell no. No, that's why when they get married and then it's like, I finally found my partner, man. I believe we're together in another lifetime. Ten minutes later, they're on top of some stewardess.

1:23:12 Drew And not only that, she understands. That's why she's my partner.

1:23:16 Adam She understands who I am. Look, Mazel Tov is half of Drew's people say to these guys, they just go around banging chicks. It's you chicks that are stupid letting these idiots get into you because he has a tribal tattoo and a piercing and he's in a piece of love and plays the loot idiots. All right, Drew, y'all sick and me.

1:23:36 Drew Take a break.

1:23:36 Adam Let's take a break.

1:23:37 Drew Yeah.

1:23:38 Adam We'll come back. We'll speak to Monique.

1:23:41 Drew Oh, and I want everybody to fire up their televisions too. Discovery Health Channel at midnight tonight. I need the love of the family.

1:23:46 Adam Nineteen and a half minutes.

1:23:47 Drew And please go ahead and feel free to write the letters to discoveryhealth.com. Little e-mails help me out.

1:23:52 Adam Once sex more than her boyfriend. How to get him to dominate. All that. Monique is a hot name, by the way. You never saw any fat Monique's.

1:24:03 Drew Remember Monique from that TV show. Oh.

1:24:07 Adam Soul sister Monique?

1:24:08 Drew Yeah.

1:24:10 Adam Touche. Touche.

1:24:12 But I'm real fat.

1:24:13 Drew There she is.

1:24:15 Adam That's Anderson's genius. He's like Rain Man with that computer. We'll take a quick break. Be right back after this. Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Let's speak to Monique. Offspring in here tomorrow night. Monique?

1:24:52 Caller Yes?

1:24:55 I'll be twenty-one in fourteen minutes.

1:24:58 Adam Oh, really?

1:24:59 Drew Yeah. Birthday. Yeah.

1:25:00 Adam You know what else is going to be on in fourteen minutes?

1:25:02 Drew Celebrate by turning on my show in fourteen minutes.

1:25:05 Adam Yeah. Also, I'm going to be on Jimmy Kimmel Live tonight in about forty-four minutes or something. So you can Tivo that.

1:25:14 Drew Let's do the math. Yeah. Yeah.

1:25:16 Adam Yeah, Drew, we're going to be on TV together, buddy.

1:25:19 Drew Which I guess we will be regularly.

1:25:21 Adam Is your show an hour?

1:25:22 Caller Yeah.

1:25:22 Adam Oh, really?

1:25:23 Drew Yeah.

1:25:24 Adam Well, that's a lot of Drew.

1:25:25 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:25:26 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:25:27 Adam Wow.

1:25:28 Drew Let's see if you can tolerate that.

1:25:29 Adam I thought you were going to say like fifteen minutes or something. I was just kidding when I said an hour.

1:25:32 Drew I'm just saying. Listen.

1:25:33 Adam You sure that hour is in four shows?

1:25:35 Drew I want you to think about what it's going to be like. We're living together. You can't tell her an hour with me and then you want to have a life together. You want to be my partner, my life partner.

1:25:44 Adam Be awesome. Sitting around watching blowout on Bravo, going at each other. Oh, like newlyweds after all these years.

1:25:53 Drew And then all the extra marital stuff we could have.

1:25:54 Adam Awesome. Monique?

1:25:56 Yes.

1:25:57 Yeah.

1:25:57 Adam So you want to have sex with your boyfriend and he's not that horny.

1:26:03 No.

1:26:03 But first things first.

1:26:05 My name is beautiful. Thank you very much. But I'm 5'2 and I only weigh 106 pounds. I am very beautiful. I'm nothing like Monique on TV.

1:26:14 Drew All right. Thanks for straightening that out.

1:26:15 Adam Thanks for that clarity.

1:26:16 Drew Yeah.

1:26:18 Adam I'll be able to masturbate again.

1:26:19 Drew And what is it your boyfriend wants to do as opposed to what you would like to do?

1:26:23 Well, anything.

1:26:26 Caller He never takes control.

1:26:28 He never starts anything. He never goes down. I have to start everything. I have to do everything. And I have to be in control all the time.

1:26:38 Drew How often are you guys having sex?

1:26:40 Right now about every three days.

1:26:43 Drew That's a pretty good clip.

1:26:45 Adam Monique, something is troubling me about your voice.

1:26:49 Drew You're angry and that bothers Adam.

1:26:51 Adam That? Maybe a little meth in there or something. A little white trash thing floating around. What's going on?

1:26:59 What?

1:27:00 Adam What's going on with the phone line, by the way?

1:27:02 Drew I think that's us.

1:27:03 Adam That us?

1:27:03 Caller Yeah.

1:27:06 I don't know.

1:27:07 Adam Did people hear that noise over there? Oh, okay. Monique, what do you do for a living?

1:27:13 Actually, I don't work. I am disabled and I collect checks from the state.

1:27:18 Drew What's your nature of disability?

1:27:21 I mentally cannot hold a job. I'm crazy in the head, to put it simple.

1:27:28 Drew What's your diagnosis?

1:27:29 Caller I had a lot of problems.

1:27:30 I'm bipolar, antidepressant, manic-depressant, HDAD, and schizophrenic. I'm pretty much, you name it, I'm it.

1:27:39 Adam Hold on, Drew. What is that? I always call it pressured, but it's something else that...

1:27:44 Drew We're constriction.

1:27:45 Adam It's a constriction. It's that voice.

1:27:47 Drew Affective constriction. It's like holding back anger and rage and stuff.

1:27:52 Adam Is that what it is?

1:27:53 Drew Yeah. They're trying to manage overwhelming feelings all the time. And by the way, when somebody says to me, you know, it's not possible to have a multiplicity, I mean, dozens and dozens of psychiatric diagnoses any more than it is possible to have dozens and dozens of medical diagnoses. You know, you can have a few, but then you're dead. You know what I mean? It just doesn't... You can't accumulate lots of them. But when somebody says something like that, I just hear a drug addict.

1:28:18 Adam Well, that's what I heard. But what's up, Monique?

1:28:24 Well, for example, last night, I was ready, willing, I did my part.

1:28:29 Drew No, no, no. What about the drug addiction?

1:28:30 Adam I don't care about the sex part.

1:28:31 Caller Oh, what about the drug part?

1:28:32 Oh, no, I'm not a drug addict. I was at one time, but not now.

1:28:35 Drew See what I'm saying?

1:28:36 Adam What was your drug of choice?

1:28:38 Caller Meth.

1:28:42 Yes.

1:28:43 Adam Didn't I...

1:28:43 On the 14th of this month, it will be one year sober.

1:28:46 Adam All right, but hold on a second. Remember I said I heard meth head?

1:28:49 Drew First thing. And then I say I heard addiction too on the heels of that.

1:28:53 Adam Yes.

1:28:54 Drew And what did she say? No. No.

1:28:55 Adam No, no, no. Listen, I hear meth. Meth sounds like... It's not you being high on meth now. It's what people that are into meth and have heavily been into meth sound like.

1:29:06 Drew Heavily.

1:29:07 Adam And it's that sort of sun blasted kind of white trashy, all right, you're 21. First, you're 21. Really? That's it? That's it? No more work? No more life? And by the way, you can you can be obsessed with effing your boyfriend, but you can't hold down a secretarial gig.

1:29:26 Drew And all those diagnoses she got was when she came to the hospital with amphetamine psychosis and didn't tell anybody that you need to get a job.

1:29:35 Adam I know it's I think you can. I think you can. What's wrong? Do you know what I mean? Is that it? Is that going to be it for your life?

1:29:46 Caller No.

1:29:46 Drew It's not one?

1:29:47 Adam Well let's go then. Let's get going. Let's get up in the morning. Let's do some exercise. Let's go baby. Let's get it on. Stop worrying about how much you F your boyfriend.

1:29:59 Drew You're having sex three times a week.

1:30:00 Adam That's plenty.

1:30:01 Drew It is. And sexual addiction is often following the heels of chemical addictions, especially when you have a very traumatic past.

1:30:07 Adam You and your boyfriend, that is the least of your worries baby.

1:30:11 Drew Talk to your sponsor about this preoccupation.

1:30:13 Adam Do you have a sponsor?

1:30:15 Drew No, I don't. All right. So you're not sober. You just haven't used drugs in a while.

1:30:18 Adam Yeah.

1:30:19 Drew But aren't you on pain medication or something?

1:30:21 No, I'm on medication for being bipolar.

1:30:23 Drew But aren't you on Klonopin or Ativan or something like that?

1:30:26 Oh, no.

1:30:27 Drew No.

1:30:28 Adam All right. Monique.

1:30:32 Drew Are you drinking?

1:30:33 Yeah.

1:30:34 Drew There we go.

1:30:34 Adam All right.

1:30:35 Drew So you got to replace that speed with something.

1:30:37 Adam What do you get? How much money do you get from the government every month? And that's the way you're going to live your life?

1:30:46 For right now, yeah.

1:30:48 Adam Well, why don't you put down the booze and start getting it together and get a gig?

1:30:56 Drew No. How dare you?

1:30:57 Adam I know. I know.

1:30:58 Drew Mr. Oh, man talking.

1:30:59 Adam Monique, I'm sorry you were abused. I'm sorry you got in a meth, but now you become everyone's problem. Let's go. All right.

1:31:09 Drew The sex thing will say, if you actually go get a sponsor, go to NA.

1:31:11 Adam I don't care about the sex.

1:31:12 Drew I'm just saying, the sex thing, the issues around that will settle down if you actually got in a sobriety. You haven't sobered, Monique. You're not using speed for a while and drinking instead.

1:31:21 Adam Look, here's what happens. These people get abused and they get strung out on drugs, and the next thing you know, they have some sort of diagnoses. And then next thing you know, they're on disability for the rest of their life. Yeah, you're not doing that many favors. By the way, this pittance you give them a month, just enough for them to buy some Schaeffer beer and go back to the crappy trailer and get a little buzz.

1:31:42 Drew It's enough to keep them dependent on the state.

1:31:44 Adam Yes, I know. Rob?

1:31:47 Yes.

1:31:48 Adam Your girlfriend of two years sleeps around with his friends.

1:31:54 Four to be exact, yes.

1:31:56 Adam Four?

1:31:56 Drew Why is she still your girlfriend?

1:31:59 You tell me. I really do not know.

1:32:01 Drew I'll tell you. She's not.

1:32:03 Well, she is. I'm just far too emotionally attached.

1:32:11 Drew I agree with that. Yes, he is.

1:32:12 Adam Yeah, you're depressed and you have low self-esteem. We need to break it off.

1:32:16 Drew It may be already broken off as far as she's concerned.

1:32:18 Adam It is.

1:32:20 No, actually, it's not, to tell you the truth. It's going strong. It has its ups and downs.

1:32:26 Adam No, someone ought to write a song with you two.

1:32:29 What?

1:32:30 Adam Yeah, you got to write a song about your love.

1:32:32 Drew You two. Fabulous.

1:32:34 I'll write a song about you, Adam. But that's about it.

1:32:38 Adam Oh, what a snappy comeback, by the way.

1:32:43 Caller That was a good one.

1:32:46 Adam All right. It's a mess, Rob. And your problem is, is you become weaker and weaker with each one of her little extra.

1:32:54 Drew Right. You can't imagine being with anybody else. This is it for you, is the love of your life.

1:32:58 Adam Yeah, your mess.

1:32:59 Drew You don't know how to end it. You would, you know, when you're 28, you'll end a relationship like this in three minutes.

1:33:03 Adam Pow. Yeah. No, break it off, get some wavos, and get some self-esteem.

1:33:09 Drew You may need some treatment. You really do. Your depression sounds significant, and your esteem is in the toilet.

1:33:14 Adam Can't judge that, Drew. And remember, even though she F'd for your friends, I believe everything happens for a reason, okay? So there's a reason why she was on top of, and then underneath.

1:33:26 Drew Taking that crap from his friends, too.

1:33:28 Adam And in front of, on occasion.

1:33:29 Drew Your friends?

1:33:30 Adam Yeah, something's going on. All right, baby, come on now, everyone. Get up early, listen to classical music, start doing some goddamn exercise.

1:33:37 Drew And turn on Discovery Health Channel in four minutes.

1:33:39 Adam That's right. And then you turn on Jimmy Kimmel in 37 minutes.

1:33:42 Drew Well, just leave it on Discovery Health Channel. It'll be good. Please.

1:33:45 Adam All right. Oh, yeah, yeah, no, yeah. Go ahead and watch, Drew. He needs your charity. We'll take a break.

1:33:50 Drew You might learn something. Actually, Michelle liked it. She liked a couple of things.

1:33:54 Screw you, Drew.

1:33:55 Drew Yeah.

1:33:56 Adam We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:34:20 Caller The one and only, Live 105.

1:34:27 Adam So I've been dead for 28 years.

1:34:29 Drew Oh, my God.

1:34:30 Adam Jesus Christ. What's wrong with everyone, Drew?

1:34:33 Caller All right.

1:34:34 Adam That's the show. Hey, the Offspring tomorrow night, everybody. Our old favorites, the Offspring in the studio. And until next time, the Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:34:47 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station.

1:34:59 Adam The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, June 8, 2005