Episode 1000710693703

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

1:01 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:04 Voiceover Sexually-oriented content.

1:07 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:08 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:13 Voiceover This is Loveline.

1:17 Adam With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician. I'll tell you what.

1:33 Drew You might drop trial.

1:35 Adam You could do that.

1:36 Drew This guy does that. He drops trial. He's a crazy man. He's crazy. I'm telling you.

1:39 Adam Watch out, Adam.

1:40 Drew I got something here for you. Adam. I've got something here for you. This is a tape of Loveline. Now, on this tape, you'll not hear anything. You'll be like, what just happened this last couple of moments? So, Loveline, 10 years ago, somebody handed me in Kansas when I was out there.

1:55 Adam 10 years ago.

1:56 Drew 10 years ago.

1:57 Adam Just a random show?

1:59 Drew It said they're all-time greats. It was his favorite highlight.

2:01 Adam All-time greats? I'd been on the show for four weeks.

2:05 Drew Yeah.

2:06 Adam Yeah. Did you listen to it?

2:08 Drew I did tonight, finally. I've had it for a little while. And it's probably about seven years old, I bet. He said it was 10. It was probably about seven. And it was rather startling to hear us saying, virtually the same thing over and over again. And we've said, we continue to say today, things I think I'm saying for the first time.

2:23 Adam Yeah. Well, at least you think you're saying them for the first time. So is this a compilation? Is this one show?

2:30 Drew Just a bunch of calls, randomly.

2:31 Adam Wow.

2:32 Drew Strung together.

2:33 Adam Fantabulous.

2:35 Drew Have yourself a listen. You'll be surprised. It's a little more, I think I've changed more than you.

2:40 Adam Yeah. Bitter and cynical.

2:42 Drew Yeah. Oh, pathetic. Awful. Embarrassing. Yeah.

2:45 Adam Humiliating. But, you know, I don't know. You know, you think about that sometimes, like people go like, well, this isn't the same show it was or this band has gone a different direction or whatever. But isn't that natural?

3:01 Drew Yeah, it's got to change a little bit. The call I left with was, well, you want to know how your relationship is going to end? Yeah, fill them with blank.

3:11 Adam Oh, pregnant, he's going to dump you. Well, you know how your relationship is going to end? Look at your last relationship.

3:17 Drew See how we had this last one.

3:19 Adam I know there's only so many ways you can tell somebody they've been molested, Drew. And you've been on this show for how many years?

3:28 Drew Still say it the same way.

3:29 Adam 20 years?

3:30 Drew Just like it was yesterday.

3:31 Adam Oh, you want to talk to Beth?

3:32 Drew Yeah.

3:33 Adam Beth is 22.

3:35 Oh, hey, what's up?

3:36 Adam Beth, what's up? Now we haven't had one of these calls before, have we? Beth, what's your question?

3:41 Oh, man.

3:42 Okay.

3:43 Wow. First off, I love you guys.

3:45 Thanks.

3:48 I would like to know about furries. My friend, he told me he was a furry. It was just like, okay, what's a furry? And he told me all about this stuff. He thinks he's an animal trapped in a human's body.

4:03 Drew Was he going to have a surgery?

4:05 No.

4:06 I don't think he's going to go that far.

4:08 Drew This is really, there's a new South Park episode coming with this, I'm sure.

4:12 Adam I think I have a raccoon trapped in my ass. I'm pretty sure, but not the whole, just the hindquarters.

4:19 Drew Yeah.

4:19 Adam Hey, Beth.

4:20 Yeah.

4:22 Adam Isn't this that fetish thing where people go to these conventions dressed as little smurfy type animals, and then they end up getting it on or something?

4:30 Well, I guess.

4:32 Adam Yeah.

4:32 Drew That's how we understand.

4:33 He never really told me about much of that.

4:35 Adam But he's one of them.

4:36 Yeah. He says he's a wolf.

4:39 Drew A wolf? I didn't realize there's actually sort of theme animals.

4:43 Yeah, I guess.

4:44 Adam Does he dress as a wolf when he goes, does he go to these conventions?

4:48 Not as far as I know.

4:50 Adam All right. I don't know. Do we really want to pump some chick for information about something she's not too sure about?

4:58 Drew No, it's just the first time we brought up furries.

5:00 Adam Yeah. There you go. Yeah. Now we brought them up. Are they called furries? I thought they were called furbies.

5:04 Drew Furbies or what is it?

5:07 Adam I thought they were called something else.

5:08 Drew Anderson?

5:09 We've talked about this a couple of times on air.

5:12 Drew Well, there you go. Like I said, every time, it feels like it's the first time.

5:15 Adam It's bizarre that Anderson offers a contrarian's point to something we're talking about.

5:19 Drew He's usually right behind the question. I beg your pardon. He was contrary to what I was saying. That was rather unusual.

5:25 Adam That is unusual.

5:26 But I wouldn't have done that if Adam wasn't going with it.

5:29 Adam I don't remember talking about it either. But I thought it was Furby. Is it furry or Furby?

5:34 Drew I think it's furries.

5:36 Adam Furries.

5:36 Drew Well, someone call it who's actually into this.

5:38 Adam What's a Furby then?

5:39 Drew That's that little halo, wee-jow, little animal with the ears, the big eyes that learns to speak.

5:44 Adam Oh, that thing? Oh, that weird thing? Oh, that thing the Japanese have sent over so they could take over.

5:49 Yes.

5:50 Adam Yeah, it didn't fall for that.

5:52 All right.

5:52 Adam So a furry is the guys who have a fetish with the animal things who dress up and go to the conventions.

5:59 Drew It's almost like all the college football mascots are getting married and having sex.

6:06 Adam Let's go ahead and someone fill us in on that. Chris, go on the Internet, see if you can find a third grader who's written an essay on furries and crayon and then you can deliver us the information. Tiffany, you're 20. Yes. What's up? And by the way, Anderson, remember, remember the time that Eminem called in to the radio show?

6:28 Drew Yes.

6:29 Adam And I kept saying that Eminem, I thought Eminem had called in to the radio show and Anderson and company and or two were like, no, he hasn't. No, he never has. You asked him face to face. Yeah.

6:41 Drew And he said, yeah.

6:43 Adam No, no, I didn't ask him face to face. It's just Jimmy called up and said, yeah, I did because he heard him.

6:47 Yeah, I was on vacation when that happened.

6:49 Adam Sure you were. All right. Tiffany.

6:52 Yes.

6:53 Adam You're 20. Here's all I'm saying.

6:55 Caller Here we go. Here we go.

6:56 Adam There's no other goddamn radio show in the world that would do that. There's no other goddamn show in the world that would do that. What the host said. I think this big star called in one time, I think I remember, and the producers and the engineers there around Scotland. No, they didn't. No, they didn't. No. No, they didn't.

7:11 Drew How dare you.

7:12 Adam And the talent was going, yeah, I'm pretty sure they did. No. No, I don't think they did. On the air.

7:17 Caller Really?

7:18 Adam And they did call in? Is there, you find me another show that would do that. Damn, bitch. People wouldn't be fired. Tiffany?

7:27 Yes.

7:28 Adam Go ahead. You're 20.

7:30 Caller Yeah, I've been dating a guy for about four months. He's 38 years old. We don't have any problems except that he has a big fetish of porn, especially internet porn. And I didn't know what the problem was in the beginning, but it's kind of making me feel like self-conscious.

7:48 Adam Well, internet porn fetish is just a porn fetish. It's just free and it's plentiful.

7:54 Caller I don't understand when you've got a beautiful 20-year-old girl right there.

7:58 Adam You sound hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

8:05 Drew Yeah, yeah, beautiful.

8:05 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah.

8:06 Drew Move along.

8:06 Caller Do you think there are more different women you can't have? Is that the obsession?

8:10 Drew No. Men will always need to look at different diversity and think about that, but they don't need to act on it.

8:19 Caller The happiest outlet is just the Internet and not real girls.

8:23 Drew Right. It doesn't mean anything about his tendency to act out in reality, and it's something he's been doing since he was 12 and now he's 38. He's developed quite a relationship with this.

8:32 Adam At least he knows how to work the computer. I mean, if not for porn, what percentage of men would really know their way around a computer?

8:37 Drew Eleven.

8:38 Adam Eleven? Oh, you're very generous. What does he do for a living?

8:45 Caller He owns his own business. He inspects houses.

8:49 Adam Oh, is he make some decent money?

8:53 Caller Yeah, he does.

8:55 Adam Okay. And you guys, do you live together?

8:58 Yeah, we live together.

9:00 Adam Okay. And you've never caught him interacting with anyone over the internet?

9:07 Caller Maybe just once. It was like an old girlfriend, but it was all the way in another state.

9:12 Drew Well, that's just having emails. But as long as he's, as long as it's not affecting his functioning, he's not spending a lot of money. He's not getting into weird stuff. It's not affecting your sexual functioning.

9:21 Adam Her name is Tiffany and I can hear something in her voice. What's up with you, baby?

9:27 Caller No, not much. I mean, I'm not ugly or anything.

9:31 Drew I thought you were beautiful. You said you were beautiful.

9:33 Caller Well, I dance, so.

9:35 Adam Yeah, that's what I was hearing.

9:36 Drew I was hearing a little bit of that too.

9:38 Adam I was hearing that, yeah. What, topless or bottomless?

9:43 Caller Just topless.

9:44 Adam Just topless. It's refreshing.

9:46 Drew Old-fashioned.

9:47 Adam Yeah. Refreshing.

9:49 Drew She's doing it just to get some money for college, Adam. How dare you?

9:52 Adam Yeah. And how often do you work?

9:55 Caller I work four to five days a week.

9:58 Drew The comedy in this is a topless dancer offended that he looks at porn.

10:02 Adam Yeah.

10:03 Caller And it's because it's, I'm not masturbating openly in front of them. You know what I mean? I'm not, it doesn't turn me on. It's for the money. And it just makes me feel kind of like, wow, I'm pretty, but why do they have to look at me?

10:16 Drew Yeah, but do you, you kind of get a sense of what makes, you know, that men do that, right? That's how you make the money.

10:23 Caller Is there a way like I could deal with it easier or, I don't know.

10:27 Drew Well, if you were sexually abused by your dad or that your dad gave you a bunch of, or in fact, they exposed you to pornography when you were a little kid, that's what this is about and why it's so disturbing to you.

10:37 Adam Maybe just abandon her or give him a break.

10:40 Drew Something like that.

10:41 Caller I did walk in on that one time.

10:42 Drew Yeah, there you go.

10:43 Adam Where's your dad now? Is he still around?

10:47 Drew You walked in on him masturbating to pornography?

10:50 Caller Me? No, no.

10:53 Adam No, no, all right.

10:54 Drew What did you say?

10:55 Adam What did you ask? When did your dad abandon your family?

10:59 When I was born.

11:01 Adam Okay. All right. Well, you got abandonment issues with men. Tiffany, look, don't have any kids.

11:08 I'm not.

11:09 Drew Good.

11:10 Adam Okay. Him looking at porn is perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

11:15 Drew However, given the fact he's dating a stripper, he's bothering her and all that.

11:19 Adam All right. But she's got issues. Her dad abandoned her. What do you find out about furries over there?

11:23 Drew There's a whole furry page.

11:25 Adam Is it all about the conventions?

11:29 Drew Something about furries on TV, several shows, including Jimmy Kimmel and the Man Show. And MTV feature this.

11:36 Adam Yeah. Thank you.

11:38 Drew Oh, but it's not a fair representation of furries or furry fandom in general.

11:42 Adam Well, we have sent people to the conventions before. How do you get your dork out of the squirrel outfit? You know what I mean? That's kind of my concern. Eventually, the costumes got to come off so the Schwantz can come out, right?

11:58 Drew Yeah, I can't. This is not organized in a way that talks about how to become a furry or what a furry's function is.

12:03 Adam Well, listen, sign me up.

12:04 Drew But there are some furry. There's a furry search engine here.

12:08 Adam My dad was a furry, so I'm a legacy. All right. Justin.

12:14 Caller Hi. Long time listener, first time caller.

12:17 Adam Thanks, buddy. What's up?

12:18 Caller There's something I can do to stop being such a pervert. I mean, I can't stop thinking about sex.

12:26 Adam How often do you masturbate?

12:28 Caller A little too much. I mean, I've had to cut back because I think I injured myself recently. So that's been tough, but a lot, like three times a day, twice a day, usually something like that.

12:40 Drew You okay with that, Adam?

12:42 Adam It's a little light. I wonder if this is bogus or not. I don't know, 21-year-old guys and the chicks, like what's the deal? You doing anything? You getting into trouble?

12:54 Caller Well, not sexual trouble, but I am looking at a lot of pornography on the Internet. Like one of the weird things I've done lately is I read these stories on the Internet, and they're kind of like just weird stories, like some of them are like humiliation stories. They're just weird. I don't know.

13:12 Drew And so it upsets you that you're spending time reading these weird stories?

13:16 Caller Well, it's got to be real like perverted for me to get turned on by it.

13:21 Drew Do you have a sexual abuse history?

13:24 Caller No, I don't. But I have a little bit of trauma in the past because my parents are both deceased. My father died when I was three. My mother died when I was 13.

13:34 Drew What happened?

13:37 Caller My father died in an accident, a construction accident. My mother had a heart attack.

13:45 Adam Wow. All right, Justin, what else is going on? Let me talk to Drew for a second here. Here's what happens in my estimation in life for most things. People don't have an active enough or rewarding enough schedule. They don't have a schedule that they can sink their teeth into. They don't have anything that flips their cookie. A lot of guys, and I know because I'm one of them and I hung out with the rest of them, they get out of high school, all they can get is a crappy job. So they just get some carpet cleaning, carpet laying, roofing, kind of cleaning up trash, kind of BS, stocking job. Of course, your mind just goes numb every time you think about work. It's anything but a career. You're more just a drone bee. And so work is nothing. Career? What career? You're not going to school, you're not doing anything, but clean up on aisle nine or dragging branches and throwing them into a chipper. So, you start getting sort of this mild depression. It's almost sort of a numbness. Your life is filled with just a crappy long hours. You don't have any money. There's not enough money to pursue anything. There's no dreams, there's no anything. And you just start slipping into this world where you just start drinking beer and masturbating. It's like, and not in that order, or sometimes simultaneously. The point is, is think about it now. You have nothing. You really don't have anything. And you turn on the TV, you see people traveling, you see them in their hummers, you watch Cribs, you see MTV, you're very envious, you can't come close to it, you're making nine bucks an hour.

15:20 Drew That's part of the problem, isn't it?

15:21 Adam The envy. Yeah. And so you're just sitting there and you're just sort of staring at the world through the window of your TV set, and you just sort of numb yourself with a few beers, and then you turn on the internet, you beat off, and the next day begins.

15:35 Drew What people do that tend to get sort of going with the internet, starting. It sounds good for you, huh? The internet pornography is that they use it as a means of dealing with those feelings. It sort of takes them away. It's almost like they go into sort of an alpha wave state. They sort of go into an altered state, and they're kind of in a quasi-dreamlike state with high levels of arousal, and they kind of spend hours sometimes sort of out in that world surfing around, and it takes them away. It's Calgon.

15:59 Adam It's a bath well. Suddenly, they're a millionaire with the world at the fingertip.

16:04 Drew More importantly, they're just dissociated. They're detached from all the agony.

16:08 Adam Here's what they have to come back to. The rust-colored carpet the roommates spilled the bong on last night, the effed up futon, and the crappy job back at the batting cage. So yeah, just drink a beer, stroke myself for four hours a night, and Calgon take me away. So I tend to think that guys like Justin...

16:29 Drew 21, though, it's a little earlier to be getting into that. Usually you have some energy to sort of get some rocket fuel behind it.

16:34 Adam They focus on their perv or whatever. I would just say you need a life where you come home and you're tired, or you come home and you have paperwork to do, or there's things to do.

16:43 Drew And you want to do them.

16:45 Adam And you want to do them. Justin?

16:47 Caller Yes.

16:47 Adam What's going on with the rest of your life besides the beating-off side of your life?

16:52 Caller I'm a student. I'm a senior at the University of Central Florida.

16:57 Drew We've been there. I've been there a couple times.

17:00 Caller I definitely need to see you guys if you come back.

17:03 Adam Yeah, we need to come by your dorm. Mop up. So, your senior, it doesn't, it seems like you need a girlfriend, a job, something that flips your coquette.

17:13 Drew Well, again, you have some trauma. Maybe this is, you're heading in that direction where you're trying to manage this. Go ahead and get, Adam is right, get it under control. And the way, one way to do this, find something else to focus your attention on.

17:23 Adam Attempt it, and if you can't, then you're gonna have to get some therapy. But, you know, start, you know, pick up a sport, get into something. Yeah.

17:31 Drew I agree, it needs to be something active.

17:33 Adam Sea kayaking. And I don't mean see the ocean, I mean the seaward.

17:38 Caller Oh, really? Whoa.

17:40 Adam Yeah, I'll explain it to you.

17:42 Drew Damn, it works. My goodness.

17:43 Adam Jason.

17:44 Drew Stretch the skin over a... Skeletal.

17:46 Adam I don't even think about it. I'll explain. Jason.

17:49 Yes, sir.

17:50 Adam You're 25? Yes. What's up?

17:55 Caller I haven't had sex in a year and a half because I have no drive. And it's all started. I was once at a doctor and found out that I had chlamydia, got treatment for it. And since then I haven't even kissed a girl.

18:10 Drew Did that just freak you out that you got chlamydia?

18:14 Caller Yeah, it did. I was always real careful, you know what I mean? The only reason me and this girl even had unprotected sex was that we both went to the doctor, got checked out beforehand. We were both clean, she was on the pill, so we figured it would be alright.

18:28 Drew How did the doctor diagnose the chlamydia?

18:32 Caller Well, I went to the bathroom in the morning and it was cloudy. I went to the doctor, they took a urine sample and tested it, and a blood sample and all that, and said that I had it.

18:43 Drew Alright. It's possible?

18:46 Adam Alright, well it's time to get back on that whore.

18:49 Caller Horse.

18:49 Drew Why is that such a big deal to you? This is part of having sex at your age. It happens.

18:53 Caller Yeah, I don't know, that's what I'm, you know, worried about, you know, I should be, well I started being sexually active at 15, and stopped at 23, and in between them eight years, it was 13 girls that I'd been with, and now nothing, and there's a couple of girls that, you know, want to try to get with me.

19:14 Adam All right, hold on a second. So I guess we run into this a lot, where, you know, people say, I'm doing this behavior, and we just sort of say, well why don't you just stop? Or why don't you just start doing what's healthy?

19:26 Drew Right.

19:27 Adam And I feel like we could say that to Jason.

19:29 Drew You can't, except he launched back into discussion of describing what it is he's doing, which you already described to us.

19:34 Adam Yeah. Listen, genius, how about you just, you got these chicks that like you, you just get going. Again, I hate to keep getting back to it, but this again, sounds like you're depressed.

19:42 Drew Right. You do sound quite depressed. That may be why you have no sex drive.

19:45 Adam What job? What's your job?

19:48 Caller It's, I'm driving over the road currently. I want, you know, it's, I change jobs a lot, actually.

19:55 Drew Well, I'm over the road.

19:56 Adam Nobody, nobody paints a picture like Jason.

19:59 Drew I know. It's beautiful.

20:01 Adam So you're a truck, are you a truck driver?

20:04 Caller You could say that as a cargo van, but I'm over the road. I go, you know, all over the place.

20:09 Drew I'm over the road. That must mean something we don't understand.

20:12 Adam What's over the road mean?

20:14 Caller It means I'm going through, you know, I live in Detroit right now. I'm in Arizona.

20:19 Adam So you're a long haul trucker.

20:21 Caller Right.

20:22 Adam Okay.

20:23 He's a rambling man.

20:24 Drew He is a rambler. Rambling can be depressing.

20:26 Adam Yeah.

20:27 Drew Why no sex drive? Are you on a medication?

20:29 Caller No.

20:30 Adam That I think your job sucks. What would you like to do?

20:35 Caller It's never really been a problem with me. I was a roofer for five years. Yeah. I liked that actually.

20:41 Drew Oh.

20:44 Adam Cat scan time. Just sucking up that.

20:47 Caller It's a good workout, you know.

20:49 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Too bad you weren't near current state, Arizona. It's a beautiful place to do a roofing. Yuma.

20:56 Caller I wouldn't be doing it out here.

20:57 Adam August, 170 degrees.

20:59 Caller I can't even walk across the parking lot without halfway time.

21:01 Adam Yeah, I know. It's just like you're being punished by God. All right, listen, Jason, we think you're depressed. And if not, then just go ahead and hop on one of these chicks, would you?

21:11 Drew Yeah.

21:12 Adam Just get going.

21:13 Drew I think your sex drive will come back when you start putting yourself in the arena.

21:16 Adam You didn't get AIDS. You got chlamydia.

21:19 Drew Yeah.

21:19 Adam Let's go.

21:20 Drew Curable thing.

21:21 Adam Yeah. Shake it off and let's get going. Brian? You're 19?

21:26 Drew Yep.

21:27 Caller You know what? Dr. Drew, long time no see. First time caller. Thanks. You told me to call in about furries and I got three furries here in this car with me.

21:35 Drew All right. Hold on a second.

21:36 Caller Hold on.

21:37 Drew We got to take a quick break, but we want to talk to all the furries.

21:40 Adam Yeah. I'm curious. Well, no, we don't want to talk to all of them. We talked about three of them.

21:44 Drew Well, those are the three there. Yeah.

21:46 Adam I just mean all of them in North America.

21:49 Drew No, no, no.

21:50 Adam All 18 of them.

21:51 Drew These three will represent the rest.

21:52 Adam That'll be fine.

21:52 Drew Yeah.

21:53 Adam But you guys get your story straight.

21:55 Drew Maybe just one or two of them.

21:56 Adam The point is, is whatever you guys say about furries is whatever we're going to think about furries from this day forth until we bring it up again in a couple of years. And Anderson points out, I said we brought it up earlier. I will take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

22:10 Caller Thank you for calling Loveline.

22:11 Your call will be answered in the order it seems interesting.

22:31 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

22:33 Drew I feel very lucky. I got all those things.

22:35 Adam Think about it. Think about it, buddy. Count your lucky stars. Hey, everybody. It's the Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1.

22:45 Drew And by the way, those things weren't on anybody's radar screen when we were growing up. Yeah.

22:49 Adam Drew and I were just having a conversation while we were taking a wee-wee. I propose nothing. Brian?

22:55 Caller Yeah.

22:56 Adam You're 19?

22:58 Caller I am.

23:00 Caller All right, so you want to know about furries?

23:01 Caller Go ahead.

23:03 All right, what do you want to know?

23:05 Adam Well, tell us everything.

23:07 Drew Start at the beginning.

23:07 Adam Give us the bullet point.

23:08 Drew How did you become a furry?

23:10 Caller Well, I ran into him on the Internet, right? Because I thought he was cool. So I ended up in this chatroom online.

23:20 Adam Don't tell us your personal story. Give us the broad strokes of being a furry.

23:25 Caller All right. So everyone chooses a character, right? Like an animal of a certain type.

23:31 Drew Is it like Pokemon? We have to pick your character or is it just you make it up?

23:35 Caller Well, I mean, you make it up. People make up all sorts of crazy stuff.

23:39 Adam What are some of the-

23:40 Drew Crazy?

23:41 Adam Now, like, could I say I was a koalapus, part platypus, part koala bear, and I make my own sort of costume?

23:49 Caller Absolutely. I think we're doing stuff in that.

23:51 Drew And what is the goal in making the elaborate costume to be attractive to other furries?

23:56 Caller I guess that's only part of it. It's sort of two separate groups. There's furries and fursuiters. The fursuiters actually dress up and, you know, do the whole thing. And, you know, most of them are having sex with each other at the conventions.

24:09 Drew The fursuiters.

24:11 Caller Right.

24:11 Adam Do the suits come off?

24:14 Caller Oh, the suits come off. And you're wondering how you get your dong through the hole.

24:17 Caller Yeah.

24:18 Caller Well, they have these things called SPHs. It stands for strategically placed hole. I'm completely serious.

24:26 Adam Oh, no. You can make that up.

24:28 Caller In the front and back, which is, you know.

24:31 Drew Oh.

24:31 Caller Or use the suits.

24:33 Drew So is this a gay or not gay thing?

24:36 Caller Oh, it's totally gay.

24:38 Drew Oh, it's a gay thing.

24:39 Yeah, it's very gay.

24:40 Caller All the.

24:41 Adam Check and hold still for that.

24:42 Caller Pretty much 95% of the male furries that I know are gay. Hmm.

24:47 Adam Yeah. I would hold on to say, Drew, you know what I would go as? I would go as a road sloth, which is road kill meets a sloth.

24:56 Drew I'd just go as an armadillo.

24:57 Adam I would just fall over and just lie there and sleep the entire time. I'd climb up in the train to sleep. I wouldn't mind being an animal, not to have sex with, but just one that's slept a lot. You know what I mean? That's my fetish. I'm going to lick my genitalia, and then I'm going to take about a 22-hour nap, and then I'm going to move around a little, lick a little more, and then take another nap.

25:18 Drew Nice.

25:18 Adam All right. So are you gay, Brian?

25:21 Caller I am.

25:22 Adam All right. So if you go to a convention, how do you pair up and how do you know what's underneath the costume?

25:33 Drew Are you just attracted to the costume?

25:35 Adam Yeah, and does it matter?

25:36 Caller It's a role to die. I mean, well, I've never fursuited. I've never done that thing.

25:40 Drew But do you think they're just attracted to the costume, or they want to have sex with that costume? That costume turns me on.

25:47 Caller Animals, you know?

25:49 Drew Do furries prefer oral sex or anal sex?

25:52 Caller I don't think they have a preference. The more sex, the better.

25:55 Sex is any kind.

25:57 Adam And if you went to one of these conventions where you dressed up and you had these strategically placed holes, might you have sex with somebody and never know who they were?

26:09 Caller That's entirely possible. Is that part of the gig? Like a lot of the suits are pretty unique, you know? So people are identified by their suits.

26:18 Drew But you have to see them with their head off.

26:20 Adam Hold on. I just came up with a great idea for a movie. Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, both furries, both banging the bejesus out of each other through the glory hole at the conventions but working right next to each other in the same office and on longing for love. E-mailing each other, never knowing that she's the one I've been banging the bejesus out of through the glory hole in the furry outfit.

26:42 Drew Oh, it's so romantic.

26:44 Adam You know what I mean? But meanwhile, they're falling in love and they're actually humping at a romata, you know, but they don't know it.

26:52 Drew I was trying to think how we're going to call this film.

26:56 Adam Oh, Happy Trail?

27:01 Drew Habitrail Highlights?

27:02 Adam Hamster Wheel? I'm going to think about it.

27:06 Drew You've got Tail?

27:06 Adam You've got Tail.

27:07 Drew There it is.

27:08 Adam That's good. Brian? Alright, sorry.

27:12 Caller Another thing is that no one uses their real names, so a little bit shaggy. Yeah, I think it could definitely work.

27:17 Adam And, and now...

27:19 Drew You've got Tail.

27:20 Adam You're not into dressing up?

27:23 Caller No, no. I think that's pretty lame.

27:25 Adam Yeah, but then how does your fetish manifest itself if you don't actually get into the outfit?

27:31 Caller Well, you know, when I do have sex, it's kind of animalistic, which I think... I mean, it's not too freaky, really. You know, a lot of people are into that.

27:39 Drew Furries seem like lovable, soft animals, not aggressive.

27:43 Adam Yeah, you never see squirrels humping. Yeah, I mean, here's what I'm saying. So, plenty of people just get someone in doggy position, go to town. They don't label themselves a furry.

27:57 Drew Do you bring stuffed animals into the action?

27:59 Caller Well, that's called plushophile. A plushophile is a person that humps stuffed animals.

28:06 That's real popular.

28:07 Adam Hold on a second.

28:07 Drew That's like your buddy that...

28:08 Adam Listen, I'm not... I know. I'm not a religious man. I don't follow biblical texts too much, but it's time for the cleansing.

28:16 Drew You think?

28:16 Adam Whatever that is.

28:18 Drew Time for the rapture to hit?

28:19 Adam The rapture. We need to be cleansed. We're now... People are plushophiles.

28:24 Drew Why do the poor Asians get it? Why didn't the tsunami hit?

28:27 Adam Really, the tsunami needs to wash over the western world. I mean, like I said, I don't agree with everything the terrorists offer, but we got a couple of points. Couple of points. We are spinning out a little bit over here.

28:39 Drew They may be over doing it in the other direction. They may be playing tapes of this show. You see?

28:42 Adam See? Yeah.

28:44 Drew Join us.

28:44 Adam Brian?

28:45 Caller Yeah.

28:46 Adam All right, so you're a furry, but you're not a dress furry.

28:50 Caller Right.

28:51 Adam And...

28:52 Drew You called it a flushophile?

28:53 Adam Plushophile.

28:54 Drew Plushophile.

28:55 Plushophile, like a plushie, you know, a plush toy. Yeah.

28:58 Adam And so you would have an engage, you would encounter with another furry. And what would make it, how would we know it was furry?

29:08 Drew Huh?

29:08 Adam Well, how would we know? Like two gay guys having aggressive sex.

29:13 Yeah, you use like a, maybe like a leash and collar.

29:16 Drew That's not furry. That's S&M now. Now that's S&M. What does S&M have to do with being a furry?

29:22 Caller Well, you know, some people wear ears and tail.

29:25 Adam Oh, really?

29:26 Drew Yeah, I've never worn a tail before.

29:28 Adam Have you worn a tail?

29:30 Caller Yes, I have.

29:31 Drew Have you ever pulled a wagon like Cinderella's? Because it's going that direction too. You know what I'm saying?

29:40 Adam Yeah, you know, I put a, if I was gay, I'd just wear a tail all the time and tail up like hot dog from the Archie's meant game on. Tail tucked in meant game off. You know what I mean? So, forget about the bandanas in different colors. No, just be, I'd be cruising the bar. You saw the tail up in the air.

30:01 Drew I'm just saying, imagine what you would be like. The tail would only be down when you were recovering.

30:05 Adam Yeah, but no, it would depend on how attracted I was to the specific dude, to the certain dude.

30:10 Drew Oh, you'd go up and down as you moved along. I thought you just walked through the bar with your tail up. No, no, no.

30:15 Adam What I would do is I would have, here's what I would do if I was gayer. I would have a belt and I would have a dog's tail and it would be spring loaded.

30:24 Drew Yeah.

30:25 Adam And when it's just left alone, hands off, it would just be tucked in.

30:28 Drew I see.

30:29 Adam Right in between my legs.

30:30 Drew Yeah.

30:30 Adam But I would have a piece of fishing string onto it and I would pull it over my shoulder. And so when it popped up, that meant that it was game on.

30:37 Drew So as you walked by a guy you liked.

30:38 Adam And when I let go, it snapped back down again.

30:40 Drew So as you walked by a guy you liked, you'd pull it up.

30:42 Adam I'd pull it up.

30:43 Drew And then let it snap down again.

30:44 Adam I let it snap if it was a dude that had bad skin or something that it wasn't attractive to.

30:50 Drew It's very interesting.

30:51 Adam Yeah.

30:51 Drew It's the way I want to go. I'm interested in what motivates humans. I still don't know what motivates the furry thing. I do know.

30:58 Adam Well, look, it's mostly gay. Here's the thing. Gay guys interested in pushing the sexual envelope. I would say most part because it's guy on guy.

31:09 Drew Therefore, it's game on.

31:10 Adam It's guys in charge of guys.

31:11 Drew It's game on.

31:12 Adam Yeah. It's like criminals deciding what to do with a found wallet. What do you think? Think that's going back to the rightful owner? Do you know what I'm saying?

31:20 Drew Yes.

31:20 Adam Now, look, I know it sounds gay-a-phobic or homophobic or whatever. No, I'm not saying that. If you took Drew, who's a man of exquisite passion, and you took me, who's, I'll get a boner for you if we have to, and we're into each other, and you said like, I don't know, should we be doing it at work or should we do it in the car, or do you think it would be okay to invite your friend Mark from the School of Counting over at USC? It became a yes to everything all the time, because the woman slows things down.

31:53 Drew Yeah, I had a long discussion in a segment for Discovery Health Channel about attraction and stuff, and I really kind of got into it with this group of people, and I realized that one of the things, never know who ever talks about this, it was kind of interesting, that men are kind of always scanning, always ready, ready, ready, ready, and they come across a woman who is sort of available, opens the gate, and they have like an arousal moment together, that moment of sort of attraction is really mutual arousal, and if she's at the right, it's just timing for her, and she happens to be kind of attracted to that guy, but the gates kind of peek open, the guy's going through. So the women really are determining whether things are going to go forward, and most of the time the gates are closed. Then the gates open here and there, because the guys at the gates are always open.

32:35 Adam It's like the Panama Canal, we're a cargo ship, and we're trying to get through. And if the gate's closed, then we got to just sit there. And if you open it, we move forward. And eventually we get the other, we get around the horn.

32:49 Drew I don't know how that works.

32:52 Adam The point is, the point is is, when you got guys, humping guys, deciding on how often, when, and where, and what we should do, eventually that leads into furries, because they just keep going, and they burn out a little bit. You know, what's next? We gotta keep going, keep pushing the envelope.

33:11 Drew More arousal.

33:12 Adam Yeah, they're like, they're like anal test pilots.

33:15 Drew Hmm.

33:15 Adam You know what I mean?

33:16 Drew Yeah.

33:16 Adam The gays. Write that down, Drew.

33:19 Drew I'll never forget it.

33:20 Adam Angelique?

33:22 Yes.

33:22 Adam You're 20?

33:24 Caller Yes.

33:25 Adam What's up?

33:27 Caller I've been married for almost a year, and I just don't like sex, and I'm a bitch sometimes. I was just wondering if you could like, tell me what to do.

33:36 Drew Well, what does that mean?

33:37 Adam First off, I have trouble believing you're bitch sometimes.

33:40 Drew What do you mean?

33:41 Adam I'm a pretty good judge of a person's voice.

33:43 Drew Let's examine what you're talking about here. What do you mean you don't like sex?

33:50 Caller When we're doing it, I like it, it's fine, but I always tell him no or I'm not in the mood. I don't know, I just don't want to.

33:59 Drew Have you always been this way?

34:03 Caller Yeah, I think so, but when we first got together, I was always doing it whatever he wanted because I figured, like after we dated for almost a year, I figured, well, what the hell? We're going to get married, so why not? So I used to do it all the time.

34:18 Adam Hold on a second. I don't know, I know I'm on a theme tonight.

34:21 Drew It's depression.

34:22 Adam But everyone's just depressed and when you're depressed, I don't like my job, I don't like my partner, I don't like sex. I mean, when you're depressed, you just don't like stuff you're supposed to like. That's how they measure it sometimes.

34:36 Drew No, that's right. Lack of enjoyment in previously enjoyable activities.

34:39 Adam Yeah. And she just sounds like a bummer.

34:42 Drew Yeah. And I wonder if there's something more than just depression here.

34:47 Adam What's up, Angelique?

34:48 Caller No, I lost my husband on my heart. No, I don't think I'm depressed at all. I just don't like it. I mean, when we're doing it, it's good.

34:56 Adam All right, not interested. What else is going on in your life?

35:01 Drew Have you always been this way with all men?

35:04 Caller I've only been with my husband and one other guy, and that was one time.

35:09 Adam And what did your dad say? And what's up? What else is going on? Do you have kids?

35:16 Caller No, I want kids really bad, but I know you have to have sex to have kids.

35:21 Drew But do you think you're sort of sabotaging this relationship? Is it hard for you to be in a married relationship?

35:29 Caller I don't think so. I don't know.

35:32 Drew It kind of feels like that.

35:33 Caller I get really mad. Like, I mean, I get really mad at him at stupid stuff. Yeah.

35:39 Adam Well, listen, hold on, Numbskull. This is why you're not supposed to get married at 19 and a half. You get mad at stupid stuff. Barely 20 when you got married. You just get mad at stupid stuff when you're 20, male or female.

35:53 Drew What goes through your mind about your husband? What are you generally feeling about him?

35:58 Caller Oh, I love my husband with all my heart.

36:00 Drew I really do. So what is there to be so mad at then? What are the things that makes you mad? What are you thinking?

36:07 Caller Um, just how I always have like, it's really petty stuff, like how I always have to clean up after him or he doesn't know how to take out the trash or.

36:16 Drew So you don't like being his mom.

36:19 Caller Oh, and he calls me. He's like, I'm not your or you're not my mom. And when he says that, I want to like punch him.

36:26 Adam I can tell this great love, though.

36:27 Drew Yeah, wonderful.

36:28 Adam Um, what does he do? Does he work?

36:32 Caller Oh, yeah, he works real hard. He works hard. Yeah.

36:34 Drew Is he too nice a guy?

36:38 Caller He might be. He is really sweet. Like whenever we get in a fight or whatever, he'll just, he's really, really quiet, too.

36:45 So whenever we get in a fight.

36:47 Drew This sounds like you're running roughshod on a guy that you need to sabotage because he is nice. It is a very...

36:50 Adam Trying to wake him up. Yeah.

36:51 Drew You need a guy that's chaotic and dangerous and all this stuff.

36:55 Adam Like dear old dad.

36:57 Drew Yep.

36:58 Adam Where's your dad?

37:00 Caller He's probably in bed with my mom right now.

37:03 Adam Yeah. Was he a loud mouth? Was he volatile? Was he an alcoholic?

37:07 Caller No, no, no. My mom and dad are ordained ministers.

37:10 Adam Oh. So you're a wild child.

37:14 Caller Oh, I was really wild whenever I was growing up.

37:17 Drew Were they, did they sort of punish you with their stuff?

37:22 Caller With their God?

37:23 Drew What were they punishing with their sort of demands? Let's put it that way.

37:28 Caller With their what? I'm sorry.

37:29 Drew Demands upon you. Did you feel like there was sort of a...

37:31 Caller Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

37:33 Drew Did they become ordained ministers in response to something? Like were they drug addicts at one time or something?

37:40 Caller No, they got married and they just decided to do it mutually like when I was a baby.

37:47 Drew Because why?

37:48 Adam Yeah.

37:49 Caller I don't know. They just found God and...

37:52 Drew Finding God and becoming ministers are two different things.

37:54 Adam Well, even finding God is an adult... Here's the thing about... Okay, let me explain God to everybody. A doesn't exist. So the only way you can believe in them is like you believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and stuff like that. Someone has to feed you a steady diet of it when your brain is soft and it has to get in. If you don't get that, you're just a right thinking atheist and all of a sudden you're 25 and you find God. It usually means the cops found you or you found methadone or heroin or something. You found something and now you find God because it's a weird thing. Well, it's like playing the harp, like picking up the harp at 30.

38:31 Drew But then I think I'm going to become minister and me and my wife are going to become evangelists.

38:36 Adam Now, unless your parents are both black athletes, in which case it's acceptable because we retire from the NFL.

38:43 Drew Both the husband and the wife.

38:44 Adam She could have played some ball. Yeah. That means something bad. You know what it means to me when you become minister, and I know I sound horrible, but it means you're scared of something that's in you and you're trying to contain it. I'm scared I'm a pedophile, I'm scared I'm lazy, I'm scared I've abused substances or abused kids, or abused my kids. I'm going to become this and contain this, and I'm going to read from the Bible three hours a day and try to contain myself.

39:12 Drew Does that sound familiar?

39:14 Caller My parents? I don't really know a lot about my dad's past.

39:21 Adam You see how the show stops whenever we talk to people and call them in the show? Well, when?

39:26 Drew Right now. Here we go. And? Your mom?

39:29 Caller My mom? Well, she's been married three times. My dad. And...

39:38 Three times what?

39:40 Caller She's been married three times for my dad.

39:43 Adam Before your dad.

39:44 Drew So dad is number four.

39:46 Caller Yeah.

39:47 Adam Alright.

39:47 Drew So she's bipolar or something.

39:49 Adam Now, look at this guy's number one for you.

39:52 Drew Well, wait a minute. So what's up with your mom's past? What else did you find out?

39:58 Caller She has. I have three older brothers, all by different dads. And I know that. Well, I don't know. She told me and my brother told me that, like, I guess her first husband beat her real bad.

40:13 Drew There we go. It's starting to come to focus now.

40:16 Adam Everything's a mess. Angelique, this guy isn't chaotic enough for you. You're freaking out. You got to get some therapy. You're going to destroy this relationship.

40:24 Drew You could respond to therapy, Angelique, if you take advantage of it. Get a therapist.

40:27 Adam You say you love him with all your heart. Why don't you go do some abatism therapy?

40:32 Drew You can't tolerate relationship. Closeness is very threatening.

40:34 Adam Or break it off or do nothing.

40:35 Drew Yeah.

40:36 Adam I don't care.

40:38 Drew Here's what I like. I love when people call our show and go, well, I don't know.

40:45 Adam Yeah.

40:46 Drew That's cool. I love that.

40:47 Adam Well, look, she's nervous. It's late night. She's in Oklahoma. She's having a butt. But yeah, mom and dad are nuts. At least mom is nuts.

40:55 Drew Yeah.

40:56 Adam And by the way, been married four times. She's married at 20. I'd just start calling the guy number one. I wouldn't even call him husband anymore.

41:04 Drew I thought you said to call her dad number one.

41:05 Adam No.

41:06 Drew Call her current husband, husband number one.

41:08 Adam Yeah, just call him number one.

41:09 Drew Cause she's working on it. Yeah.

41:11 Adam Oh yeah. Listen.

41:12 Drew Angelique, this is number one for you. I guess you were planning on three more.

41:16 Adam Well, this is how it works. Get some therapy. Otherwise, you're bound to repeat the mistakes your parents made. Take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

41:34 Drew This portion of Loveline is sponsored in part by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. Safety Belt Enforcement is not about tickets, it's about saving lives. So remember, click it or ticket.

41:58 Adam Yeah, everybody, it's Loveline. I'll tell you, tonight, Drew, we have no choice but to get it on. Oh boy. Got to get it on. Get it on in the morning now. Yeah, Drew? No. Yeah, you know, that's how you do Marco Polo, by the way. You know, I've tried to play this with a few people, and they do that weird, they do it in a weird way, you know? What? They go like, Adam. No. They're cadence-wise, you know, when you do Marco Polo, you have to do it the same.

42:32 Drew They never played Marco Polo.

42:34 Adam Is that what it is?

42:34 Drew That must be that.

42:35 Adam You gotta do it the same song.

42:36 Drew You got all those guys you hang out with that don't like cars, they're like women, they're like, yeah.

42:40 Adam But they all like the swimming pool.

42:42 Drew What, they didn't play Marco Polo?

42:43 Marco.

42:44 Caller Polo.

42:48 Adam Katie?

42:50 Yeah.

42:51 Adam You're 13?

42:52 Caller Yeah.

42:53 Adam Have you ever played Marco Polo?

42:56 Caller No. No? Actually, yeah, when Mike was swimming, yeah.

43:02 Adam You have? Oh, when you're swimming, but not... Not when you're a landlocked, like for your camping in the desert.

43:08 Caller No.

43:09 Adam Okay, you wouldn't play it like in the house.

43:11 Drew Or at school. Or in the school room.

43:14 Adam But if you're swimming, you might play it?

43:16 Caller Yeah.

43:17 Adam Okay. Do you know who Marco Polo is, or was?

43:21 Caller I think he was like a mathematician.

43:24 Drew Mathematician.

43:26 Adam I have to do some math to navigate. The point is you don't know who he is. I'll tell you who you do know. Adam Corolla, right?

43:34 Caller Yeah.

43:35 Adam Yeah, so next time you get in the swimming pool, instead of Marco Polo, what game are you going to play?

43:41 Caller Adam Corolla.

43:42 Adam That's right. All right. Now ask your question.

43:46 Caller Okay. I'm 13 and I had sex with a 15 year old and we didn't use protection. I'm thinking that I might have to tell my parents because I might be pregnant, but I don't know or STDs and I'm kind of scared because my dad, he's an atheist and my mom, she's a Christian. If I tell my parents, I think they might-

44:12 Adam It makes you an agnostic.

44:13 Caller Yeah.

44:15 Adam Well, hold on a second. Why did you have sex with this guy? Is he your boyfriend?

44:20 Caller Kind of, yeah.

44:22 Drew What's going on? I'm confused.

44:23 Adam Why did you have sex with him? Did you want to have sex with him?

44:27 Caller Yeah, I did.

44:28 Adam You did, but you're willing to have sex with a guy when you're 13 who's not your boyfriend.

44:37 Caller Yeah. I made the biggest mistake and I know I'm not going to do it again.

44:43 Adam Okay.

44:43 Drew But what was up with that? What was motivating you to do that?

44:47 Caller I think it was the excitement that he wanted me. That was mainly it.

44:52 Adam All right. Do you want to be his girlfriend?

44:57 Caller Well, I don't know. Not really. I seriously don't want to be in contact with anybody like that again.

45:04 Adam Why?

45:04 Caller I just want to stay away from that stuff again because if it tries to happen again, I don't want it to happen again.

45:10 Drew All right.

45:10 Adam So now you think maybe you're pregnant.

45:13 Caller I don't know.

45:15 Drew Wait a minute. I have a feeling this is not the usual Loveline situation. This isn't Katie dropping this bomb on parents as a payback. This is Katie desperate to get help from her parents.

45:25 Adam Yeah.

45:25 Drew You got to tell your parents.

45:26 Adam You do?

45:27 Drew Yeah.

45:28 Adam Why?

45:29 Drew Because she wants help from them. She genuinely wants. She doesn't want to create hell.

45:32 Adam What do you think they might do to help you?

45:36 Drew Whatever is going on that she's acting out around.

45:38 Adam I'm interested in Katie answering me, not Drew. Go ahead, Katie.

45:44 Caller I don't know. I think, yeah, I want help. But I think my parents might, you know, I mean, I mean, they might go ballistic and, like, my sister, they know that she's had sex before and my mom does not like her at all. My mom, she's a high school dropout, basically. And my mom thinks she's, like, you know, a whore.

46:05 Adam Hold on a second, Katie. Let me talk to Drew for a second. You know what I think this is a case of, and maybe it's a hit a little close to the Corolla family, but I had a sister that got in a little trouble herself. I think the deal is some parents don't really want to parent.

46:21 Drew Right, and she's trying to get that out of them.

46:22 Adam And the kid is trying to sort of kickstart them into parenting.

46:25 Drew There's something going on in the home that she's trying to capture them.

46:28 Adam Yeah, she's trying to say, start parenting me.

46:31 Drew Or, help me or stop this other stuff.

46:32 Adam Yeah.

46:33 Drew Stop focusing on my sister. Whatever it is, I need you.

46:35 Adam Katie, do you feel like your parents don't parent enough?

46:39 Caller Actually, I think they, like, I think I may need to do it just to get them mad. I don't know.

46:44 Adam Yeah, I mean, you want to get a reaction out of them.

46:46 Drew Because to get them away from your sister and all that, right?

46:49 Caller Basically, because my mom, like, but I don't know if I should tell her, because my mom is thinking about taking, I think a kid in, and he's a guy, and if I tell my parents, and it's going to ruin the chance of taking that boy in.

47:02 Drew Yeah, of course you want to not take that boy in.

47:05 Adam Yeah, who wants some stoner living down the hall, beating off while he runs the shower?

47:09 Drew Yeah, your parents are never going to pay attention to you. They're going to be busy containing this.

47:12 Adam Katie, let it all out with your parents. Just tell them everything you're feeling, everything you're thinking.

47:17 Drew Please.

47:18 Adam Tell them everything. And don't just tell them you had sex. Tell them, here's what I think, here's what I'm feeling.

47:22 Drew I'm feeling miserable, I need your attention, I need your love, I need help. I can't tolerate bringing another kid in this house. I'm worried about my sister. I don't like fighting this person. It's attention to her.

47:30 Adam You're a 13-year-old chick, spill it.

47:32 Drew We're gonna break.

47:32 Adam We'll be back. Try it. No, I didn't hear anything from-

48:27 Drew I did.

48:28 Adam I did? Anderson? Yeah. I had a little mumbling. Yeah, just having a little heart to heart with Drew. I don't really get advice from Drew so much as I hear myself talk and then come up with my own answers.

48:42 Drew Or whatever advice I do give you, you don't take and you come up with your own answers.

48:45 Adam Yeah.

48:46 Drew Yeah.

48:46 Adam It would be the same effect if I put a wig on an ironing board and just lean it up against the wall.

48:52 Drew I just start talking.

48:54 Adam Some glasses.

48:55 Drew If you ever wonder what I feel like when you're talking, just set one up.

49:01 Adam Oh, man. Thanks, buddy. I needed that. Carlos?

49:06 Yep.

49:07 Adam You're 22?

49:09 Caller Yep. Sure am.

49:09 Adam What's up? What's up?

49:11 Caller Well, first of all, I just want to say I love you guys. I think that you guys should be on more than just two hours. I absolutely love your show.

49:20 Adam I wouldn't mind either. They just have to repeat the first hour. Make it three hours.

49:25 Caller No. Well, I have a question. Whenever I have sex with my girlfriend, she sometimes can't last more than three minutes. After she finishes, well, I'm left with blue balls and I'm just kneeling right there in front of her.

49:42 Drew Wait a minute. She finishes and then just shuts down and pushes you away?

49:46 Caller Yeah.

49:47 Adam She won't give you a little oral love?

49:50 Caller That's only in the beginning.

49:53 Drew Why did you finish first or sort of, you know?

49:55 Adam Well, they can't. She goes so fast.

49:57 Drew No, no. But I mean some other means. And then second go around for her.

50:03 Caller Well, the thing is that she wants to get it done as soon as possible. I mean, even the oral, even the foreplay, everything. I mean, she wants to get it done as soon as possible. So, you know, if I do oral on her and she does oral on me, she wants to hurry up and get it done with.

50:17 Adam You know, I just had a thought. You know, it's about the only time chicks care anything about being efficient or proper use of time is in the sand. Like, all of a sudden, then they become Tony Robbins. You know, let's go. Let's pick it up. What's going on? Let's get this knocked out. Sexist City starting in 12 minutes. But other than that, anything else around the house, a good hour, 45 minutes to put the face on, get out the front door. Everything else is arduous and time consuming and, you know, takes forever. But the sex, they're pretty efficient with that. It's probably one of the more efficient places.

50:50 Drew Except they complain you need to slow down on getting up to the sex point. Slow that part down. Right. Then get it over with once you're in.

50:56 Adam Right.

50:57 Drew Right. But I'm confused that she wants to get it over with. Does he mean that she wants that she's aversive to it? It doesn't sound flattering. Or that's why he perceives it. Or is it that she's so into it? She's just a passionate woman and can't wait.

51:09 Adam Contain it.

51:09 Drew Yeah.

51:10 Adam Carlos?

51:11 Caller Well, the thing is that she was going through therapy because she was molested when she was five years old. And sometimes when we're having sex, she'll just stop and she'll just break out crying.

51:22 Drew Oh boy. So she might be having fake orgasms even.

51:26 Adam Yeah. You plan on getting married to this lady?

51:29 Caller Well, I want to. I mean, she's an amazing girl. You know?

51:34 Adam All right. Well, here's the thing, Carlos. Take some advice from the genius over here. Go ahead, Drew. No, I was talking about myself.

51:42 Drew Wow. You've never said-

51:43 Adam I never done that.

51:44 Drew Mark this day in the calendar, please.

51:46 Adam Here's the thing.

51:46 Drew Not even a jest.

51:47 Adam She was molested. She's getting therapy. That's great. What you don't want to do is have kids, start a family, get married too early with somebody like this. Because you know what this is? This is a person that's going to take a little while to heal. And you're going to feel it in the bedroom. You're going to feel it when you're in the living room. You're going to feel it almost everywhere for a while. And the kids will definitely feel it. There should be some sort of thing which is, the more you're molested, the longer you wait to have kids, the longer you wait to get married, because you're essentially broken and you're healing. Unfortunately, the people that got screwed with crank out the kids at 17 or 18 more often than not. And that's where the sort of a downward spiral of society begins. So Carlos, she is working in therapy, that's good. You take it nice and slow with her and you have to sort of work with her. And the reality is, is you're 22 and you got a handful here. And if you're up to that challenge, God bless you, but these are the things that come with that territory.

52:54 Drew If this is the only thing you're sort of aware of as a result of what she's been through, then consider yourself very lucky. You've got to kind of work something out with her.

53:02 Adam And maybe talk to her, if she's in therapy, tell her to bring it up with a therapist.

53:06 Drew And again, I think you missed the point of what I was telling you, is that you need to finish in some way before she does.

53:11 Adam All right, I want to talk to Alan, who's been on hold for a long time, and I feel bad for him. Alan?

53:17 Caller Hey, what's going on?

53:18 Adam You're 24, you're in the military? Yes.

53:21 Caller What branch? I'm sorry?

53:25 Adam What branch of the? Navy.

53:27 Caller Navy.

53:27 Adam All right. And what do you do in the Navy?

53:33 Caller I'm an information system technician. I work with computer satellites, communications, stuff like that.

53:38 Adam You see, it's always boring.

53:39 Drew That's kind of interesting.

53:40 Caller Yeah, it really is.

53:42 Drew It's not a turret, a gun turret.

53:43 Adam No, but I mean, that's the whole thing. Whenever we talk to someone in the military, and I'm in the military, I'm in the Navy or the Marines, and I mean, what do you do? And you go, oh, the Navy? Oh, yeah.

53:54 Drew Long call is I drive the laundry truck.

53:56 Adam I work the, yeah, I work in the kitchen, I work the thing, I'm in the rear with the gear. Like, I want the guys, like, I work the failing system. It's that Gatling gun that shoots seven million rounds of 40 millimeter spent uranium. And I go ahead and feed the clips into it while the thing is spraying shells everywhere. Like, that's what I'm picturing. You know what I mean? Something. I'm on the deck. I got the flags. I'm bringing in F-18s, you know, whatever. But it's always a guy who's sort of down in the bunker and he's doing some communications or doing something like that.

54:29 Drew See that thing with that Navy sub ran to a mountain underwater?

54:33 Adam Yes, I did see that.

54:34 Drew It's crazy. The guys died. They were thrust against.

54:37 Adam Yeah.

54:37 Drew Oh my God.

54:38 Adam Yeah, they couldn't get them out of the hatch. Yeah. All right. Run silent. Run deep. Alan.

54:44 Caller Yes.

54:44 Adam All right. So you are doing satellites and you're in the military. In the Navy. And now what?

54:52 Caller About three months ago, I met a girl that's here on a student visa from Indonesia. And she's going to try to be a dentist. And everything is cool between her and I, except the last thing is, the only thing her mom's been telling her about coming over here, which she doesn't want her over here, is not to get hooked up with an American. She's supposed to keep to her, she's Muslim, and supposed to keep to her religious ties. And she hasn't done that, and I haven't been much of a help. And her mother said she was in disorder. If she broke it, like I got her started drinking, had sex, and so like that. She was a virgin when she came here.

55:31 Adam Shooting dyes, rolling hobos.

55:35 Caller She doesn't do the...

55:36 Adam Yeah, yeah. Everyone comes here and gets corrupted. Why is she coming here to go to school?

55:43 Caller Much better education. She has an aunt that she moved over here with, and that's who she's living with now, her aunt. Her mother wants her to come back, like every other week she calls her and tells her to come back to Indonesia. And she doesn't want to stay here with me, and go back.

55:55 Adam All right, well, where's her dad?

55:58 Caller Her dad passed away.

55:59 Adam All right, well at least she doesn't have to deal with him. All right, well, obviously it sounds, I mean, I can see, I can look down the road a little here and say she's probably just going to stay in the United States.

56:11 Drew You would think.

56:11 Adam And probably not going to go back to Indonesia, which by the way, I have no idea where it is. You know, like here's my whole thing. I hear, I have a few choices, like there's Mexico, there's Japan, now there's China. That's a new addition.

56:26 Drew You know where that is.

56:27 Adam Well, I know it's different. I know it's different than Japan.

56:29 Drew Near Japan, though.

56:30 Adam I know it's different than Japan. That's what I know. And now, because of the war, there's the Middle East. Indonesia, that don't sound like Europe, that don't sound like Japan. I don't know where that is. Something tropical, some islands, islands, a lot of islands. I don't know, lots of tea. They drink tea there. They eat a lot of coffee. I'm picturing like a yak, like a knee deep and a patty dragging something and a guy with a straw hat. I'm picturing a little Vietnam, maybe a little.

57:02 Drew This is south of that, yeah.

57:03 Adam All right. All right. So anyway, Alan.

57:07 Drew It's like the fifth most populous country in the world though.

57:09 Adam Yeah. Oh yeah. Now I got underpants and stuff that's made there. I just, they should put a map on there. Hey, so Alan, I don't know what you can do other than tell her follow your heart or whatever, but it sounds like the longer she spends in this country, the more Americanized as she becomes and the less she wants to go back to the old ways.

57:31 Caller Well, it is that way except her mom calls about every other week and after she gets off the phone with her mom, then she starts having this, so I'm a horrible person because I have to lie to my mom, tell her I'm not doing these things. She's tried to break up with me, but she says not what she really wants to do, it's what she needs to do for her family.

57:49 Adam Are you really in love with her?

57:51 Caller Yeah. I'd like to marry her, but I know it's going to be hard with religion thing.

57:56 Drew How long have you been dating her?

57:59 Caller I've been dating her about three months.

58:01 Drew How far into medical school?

58:02 Caller She's a sophomore right now.

58:05 Drew In dental school?

58:06 Adam Yeah.

58:08 Caller What's that?

58:08 Drew She what?

58:09 Caller She's about two years into school right now.

58:12 Drew Into dental school?

58:15 Caller She's going to college for it right now.

58:17 Drew Wait a minute, Alan.

58:20 Adam She's not going to dental school, she's going to college so she can get into dental school.

58:24 Drew So she's not gotten into dental school yet?

58:26 Caller Right, right.

58:27 Adam Well, he's a military, he's a jarhead. Look, Alan, here's the thing.

58:31 Drew I bring satellites.

58:33 Adam He's offering satellites but he barely graduated high school, so leave him alone. Now listen, Alan, here's the thing. She has herself a good like six, seven years more education to deal with, so you don't have to put, you don't have to give her the bum rush.

58:48 Caller I'm not trying to.

58:49 Adam I know, I know, but here's the thing, here's the thing. She's new to this country. She's being worn down by our wicked ways, which is fine. You will get into trouble if you try to manipulate her and she will resent you. So what you need to do is you do that thing. You know what it is? It's the same thing you do, it's the same thing you do when you find out your chick's pregnant and you want her to get an abortion. You don't say anything. You're like, oh, you're pregnant. That's wonderful. That's wonderful. You wait for a while until she says, she starts picking out names and you're like, sweetie, we got to get an abortion. You don't say abortion at the beginning. She holds that against you. So what you need to do is like, listen, I respect this. I know your mom's very important to you and you got to do some soul searching, you know, and-

59:35 Drew Back off and be supportive of her issues. Appreciate them. Show that you appreciate them. Let her struggle with it.

59:41 Adam Friday night, Hooters, Saturday, we're going paintballing. Yeah. And then it's shots. Yeah. And then it's off to Reno, Nevada, baby. Yeah. See, new dudes on ice. Awesome. Yeah, look, this country's better than all other countries. Let's face it. That's why people come over here. And it's like Vegas. They can't stop. They pick up the dice. They can't put it down. And they're all mixed. And so what you end up with, what this country ends up with, is a bunch of people that have essentially given in to their weakness and their temptation from all around the world. Now, they're sitting here and they're angry and they're sort of blaming this country. Instead of blaming themselves, they're too big a puss to stand up for whatever their retarded religion told them to do and stay in their countries. And then they come here and they stick with their religion and they're sort of angry at this country. I mean, look at it. Just look at it that way. And what it is, is they go to the mosque, they do a little praying and then it's to the computer for a little internet porn. And who are they angry at? Us. Well, pack your ass and go back to your crap-filled land, please. Or knock it off and start enjoying and join in. But they're angry at themselves, Drew. And what do they do when, what does 99% of this population do when they're angry at themselves?

1:01:04 Drew Blame something else.

1:01:05 Adam Start pointing fingers. Yep, start pointing at Old Glory and Uncle Sam. Please, go back to where you came from or shut up and enjoy yourself. But don't do that thing where like, I'm this and I'm that and I'm tempted. I don't know what to do. Because we got a lot of them in this country and they eff it up for us atheists who want to party. You know what I mean? All right, so then they have their parades and their days, and then they wave their flags, and then they get their little communities where it's not like they ever left their community and wherever you're from. I don't want to offend anyone specifically, so I'm not going to name any specific countries.

1:01:47 Drew We won't leave any out, that's for sure.

1:01:48 Adam I'm not going to leave any out either. But here's the thing, you are in this country, A, because your country is utopia, or B, because your country sucks and you can't find a job, or you have an oppressive regime that you're living under and you can't express yourself religiously or creatively or whatever. You're out of your country because something is wrong with your country. Is anyone want to question me on this? Drew, why aren't you in the Middle East? Why aren't you in Mexico? Why aren't you in Indonesia? Why aren't you anywhere? Why not? I'll tell you why not. Our country ain't broken. Your country is broken. There's something wrong with it. That's why you're here. But your strategy is once you get here, let's just go ahead and make a little little island of our country.

1:02:42 Drew Let's keep the culture.

1:02:44 Adam Former broken country. Let's just create that. Oh, screw culture.

1:02:48 Drew No, I'm just saying that they could make the argument that, no, my people and my culture is wonderful. The government sucks.

1:02:54 Adam Yeah, yeah. Where do they import the guys running the country?

1:02:57 Drew No, I'm just saying.

1:02:57 Adam Where is he from?

1:02:58 Drew I'm just saying they still.

1:02:59 Adam Where is he from?

1:03:00 Drew No, I understand that.

1:03:01 Adam He's one of yours.

1:03:02 Drew They may appreciate retaining the cultures. You can still do that here and also enjoy.

1:03:07 Adam Yeah, go ahead and watch whatever language station your country broadcasts in. But knock it off. I don't need the days. I need the parades. I need stuff in the windows. Let's just join in. You're here because your country sucks. Never forget that. Never forget that.

1:03:23 Drew Never forget. Never forget.

1:03:24 Adam All right. All right. And by the way, Drew, I know it's very convenient. The people are great. The government's corrupt. Where do you get the government?

1:03:31 Drew No, I'm not excusing it. I'm just saying that's why they might want to protect their culture. They express it in a free society.

1:03:38 Adam Anyone who makes that argument, go ahead and figure out what the nationality of your government is.

1:03:42 Drew But by the way, that kind of person may not say that our country is good. They may be saying, all right, my people, my culture are great. Yeah.

1:03:49 Adam Yeah, yeah, you're great. They just effed up their country royally.

1:03:52 Drew Yeah.

1:03:53 Adam Yeah, they're great. It's fantastic. They couldn't be any better. It's just you got to get out of there because they'll put a burning tire around you. Veronica, they're fantastic.

1:04:01 Drew 16. What's the question?

1:04:02 Caller OK, I gave this guy oral, right?

1:04:06 Adam Is this the best country in the world?

1:04:07 Caller Yes.

1:04:09 Adam Thank you. Adam Corolla. Thank you. Thank you. Go ahead.

1:04:13 Caller I actually played that game.

1:04:15 Drew At Huntington Beach, where?

1:04:17 Caller In a pool.

1:04:18 Adam Fantabulous.

1:04:19 Drew Like a private pool.

1:04:20 Caller Yeah.

1:04:21 Adam Nice.

1:04:22 Drew All right.

1:04:23 Adam Go ahead.

1:04:24 Caller I gave this guy oral, right? I had a canker sore on my mouth, and I want to know if that's related to herpes.

1:04:32 Drew Yes, and you could pass herpes to him with that sore. It's possible.

1:04:36 Adam By the way, that is, to me, when I hear that, it's like I'm inspired, like a football coach, when an athlete has a sprained knee, but it's like I got to get back in the game, coach.

1:04:44 Drew Get out there.

1:04:45 Adam You see him hobbling out there, put a helmet on. Tear coming from my eye.

1:04:49 Drew Well, but she's the one with the sore. He's the one.

1:04:51 Adam I know. But again, no, but it's still like she has a canker sore and she's still willing to perform oral.

1:04:57 Drew How about him willing to take it? Again, that's a bullet.

1:05:01 Adam I'll tell you, I would have been willing to take it when I was 16 too. How old is the guy?

1:05:07 Caller 19.

1:05:08 Drew How old?

1:05:09 Caller 19.

1:05:10 Adam Ooh, ish. Is he your boyfriend?

1:05:13 Caller No.

1:05:15 Drew Veronica, please.

1:05:16 Adam They say this with pride now, like, no, he's gross. I only blew him. Yucky. You think I'm like cooties?

1:05:26 Caller Huh?

1:05:26 Adam Yeah, why?

1:05:27 Drew He probably says boobs.

1:05:28 Adam Are you into this guy? Do you like him?

1:05:31 Caller Yeah, I did for the longest time.

1:05:33 Adam And now what?

1:05:35 Caller I don't know.

1:05:36 Drew He's exploded.

1:05:38 Adam He's not into you.

1:05:39 Caller No, I don't know. I haven't talked to him for like a week.

1:05:43 Adam Yeah, you not talking to him means he ain't into you.

1:05:45 Drew Yeah, here's the translation. She got she found her way in. She was very excited about it. He didn't respond. He didn't fall, you know, falling after her afterwards. Uh-oh. I guess I'm not into him anymore.

1:05:55 Adam I haven't spoken to Catherine Zeta Jones in a while either to come to think of it. I'm not sure if she's not into me or not. It's been a while. I haven't spoken.

1:06:03 Drew She's into you. Don't worry.

1:06:04 Adam Okay. Veronica?

1:06:06 Caller Yeah.

1:06:08 Adam Phone.

1:06:08 Caller Actually, he wants to do it again, but I'm not sure if I want to do it.

1:06:12 Drew Good. Don't, don't, don't do it. You're 16, 19.

1:06:14 Adam You like the guy. Totally different guy. He's using you. Come on, baby.

1:06:16 Drew Here we go.

1:06:17 Adam Hold your head up.

1:06:17 Drew Come on, break it down.

1:06:18 Adam Hold your head up. Break it down. Grab a knee. Come on. That helmet's not a chair, gentlemen. Use that term loosely. All right, Veronica. Good luck. No more oral.

1:06:28 Drew By the guy, the guy's making him unhappy when he gets the herpes anyway.

1:06:31 Adam He may or may not. Yeah.

1:06:33 Drew And you got the perfect excuse.

1:06:34 Adam Yeah. And now what the ladies like. They like giving me oral. Let's keep the oral train rolling and talk to Monica, who's 20. Monica?

1:06:43 Caller Hi.

1:06:44 Adam Hi.

1:06:45 Caller How are you?

1:06:46 Adam We're doing well. What's happening?

1:06:48 Caller Good, it sounds like it. Well, I had a question because I've been going out with Guy for like two and a half years now. And I used to be friends with his friends and well, supposedly friends, I guess, because like three years ago, a year before I started going out with this guy, I went to one of the guy's house and there's two guys there. And they made me give both of them oral. And I really, for some reason, like I can't remember anything from that night. Like I don't know why, but I don't know if that's normal or something.

1:07:23 Adam Well, there's a couple of things. And I know what Drew's thinking already.

1:07:26 Drew I think she needs a consult with Chief Running Bear.

1:07:28 Adam Yeah, hey.

1:07:30 Drew After the break.

1:07:32 Adam Well, let me ask you a couple of quick questions. Yes, we do need to take a break, but you say these two guys made you give them oral.

1:07:41 Caller Yeah.

1:07:42 Adam Do you feel like you were raped?

1:07:44 Caller See, but it wasn't like a force. Like I don't remember a force being there, but I knew that I didn't really want to do it.

1:07:50 Drew And so how did they force you?

1:07:53 Caller See, that's the thing. I don't remember. Like I don't know why. I'm blocking out in my head, like I just can't, like I don't know if they like-

1:08:01 Drew Were you drinking?

1:08:02 Adam Oh, that means they're victimized in the past.

1:08:04 Drew Absolutely. Were you drinking?

1:08:06 Caller No. So I didn't even want to go, and then they locked, oh, I remember this. They locked my car in their house gate, and they said that I couldn't leave until I did it. And I was like 17 at this point, so my mom was like calling me like crazy, and I felt like I had to just get out of there already. So I think that like forced me to do it even more. I don't know if that counts as like.

1:08:26 Drew Had you been victimized as a child as well?

1:08:29 Caller No.

1:08:29 Drew This is the first time anything like that ever happened to you? Were you forced to do something you didn't want to do?

1:08:33 Adam Sorry, hold on a second.

1:08:34 Drew Adam, have you ever been forced to do something you didn't want to do?

1:08:36 Adam That did blow up three guys once in high school. Hold on a second, but actually I forced them. All right.

1:08:42 Drew To blow you.

1:08:44 Adam I don't want to do Running Bear. I want to talk to him. This is interesting. And by the way, Chris, you have the music for Chief Running Bear?

1:08:51 Drew Yeah, I'll look for it.

1:08:52 Adam You do?

1:08:53 Drew No, no. Yeah, I'll look for it. Translation?

1:08:56 Caller I think it's in the cabinet, yeah.

1:08:57 Adam Really? All right. We'll take ourselves a quick break. I'm a little stumped. No boos involved here.

1:09:04 Drew Well, sometimes trauma, you can just freeze in trauma without having to.

1:09:07 Adam I know, but usually there's some boos and usually there's some past trauma.

1:09:10 Drew But she doesn't have a post-traumatic stress disorder. She just had a block in that event. That's what can happen.

1:09:16 Adam All right, we'll take a break. We'll be right back with Monica after this.

1:09:19 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:09:22 Adam Loveline will be right back. Yeah, buddy. Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about. When we left off here on Loveline, we're speaking of Monica. Monica's 20, she gave two guys oral sex when they trapped her in her car in the compound. Maybe it was one of the Kennedys. And it wouldn't let her out. She was 17. She was confused. She wasn't drunk, although she sort of dissociated from the whole thing, which people do. And she is not a former victim of abuse. Is that true, Monica?

1:10:08 Caller Yeah.

1:10:10 Adam So you basically were naïve.

1:10:14 Drew Well, let's double check that. Have you ever, did anybody ever hit you when you were growing up?

1:10:18 Caller Did anyone ever hit me? No.

1:10:19 Drew Did you ever have any?

1:10:21 Caller What?

1:10:22 Drew Go ahead.

1:10:23 Caller Oh, because now then my boyfriend of two and a half years, now that I told him this because it's his friend, so he's going to find out that I had to tell him myself. Like, just in case he talks to someone I told him, I want him to know. So now that I told him, like, all the time, like, he always, like, puts it in my head. Like, he makes me feel like crap because I don't, like, I'm supposed to feel bad about it.

1:10:44 Adam No, we get, we get that part. But you never called any, you never called the police.

1:10:51 Caller No, because, I don't know, like, I was 17. I was really stupid at that time.

1:10:56 Adam No, I'm, I'm hearing you.

1:10:57 Caller You know, like, I didn't want to be involved.

1:11:00 Adam I understand that. Were you, were you a virgin at the time?

1:11:04 Caller Yeah.

1:11:05 Adam You were.

1:11:07 Caller Yeah, I only had sex with my boyfriend.

1:11:09 Drew Did you feel like this was something, like, did you, did you feel sort of cool about this in some way? That you were sort of getting attention?

1:11:17 Caller No.

1:11:17 Drew All right, so this was, this was a, you felt victimized, but you didn't really realize how, how profound it was.

1:11:23 Adam How old, how old were the guys?

1:11:26 Caller They were like 18, a year older than me.

1:11:29 Adam Huh. And, you know, that sounds insensitive, but how does that work with the double oral? Like, one guy finishes off the-

1:11:37 Caller He left the room, and the other one, he just like stood out there, and they opened the door, and the other one came in. It was, I don't know, like, that's pretty much all.

1:11:45 Adam I'd be in a hurry to finish first.

1:11:46 Drew There's one after the other.

1:11:47 Adam One after the other. Not simultaneously.

1:11:50 Caller No.

1:11:51 Adam Okay.

1:11:51 Drew How long did this all take?

1:11:53 Caller See, I think maybe like 15 minutes.

1:11:57 Drew And then they just set up, see you later?

1:11:59 Caller And then they're like, okay. And then I just like left like.

1:12:02 Drew Nose open?

1:12:03 Caller And they were like, they all nice, like it was all okay. Like, okay, fine.

1:12:07 Caller I was like.

1:12:11 Adam And she was a virgin at the time. Okay. Here's what I'm going to say. Certain amount of people, most people we talk to were their past victims and they become, you know, they become victims in the future.

1:12:24 Drew They're good victims for victimizers, but then they often have a post-traumatic stress reaction to all that.

1:12:28 Adam And then, and then the people that they got abused or they got drunk or they got whatever. This isn't any of those things. And then there's a certain percentage of society that they just, you can kind of get them to do what you want to do if you strong arm them a little bit, especially if you're a little bit older and there's two of you and they're hanging something over you.

1:12:45 Drew It's a little bit of a victim of violent crime kind of thing. A little bit of a victimization, you know, that happened random.

1:12:51 Adam Look, if in a society where everything is rape, this is definitely one of those things. You know what I mean? So, and then I understand, like now you feel like you were somehow a co-conspirator in this, or somehow responsible, you're shamed, you don't want to tell anybody. All right, it's all coming together. Telling the current boyfriend is-

1:13:14 Drew That was a bad move. There's something though about Monica, it's not quite right.

1:13:18 Adam Monica, what's not right with you?

1:13:20 Caller What do you mean?

1:13:21 Adam What do you do right now?

1:13:23 Caller What do I do? I go to school.

1:13:25 Adam Junior college?

1:13:26 Caller Yeah.

1:13:28 Adam Well, there you go.

1:13:29 Drew There's still the need to sabotage the relationship, putting yourself in a weird situation.

1:13:34 Adam What about sabotage?

1:13:35 Drew Using the F word on the radio.

1:13:36 Adam Yeah, yeah. We wonder if you're looking to sabotage your boyfriend's relationship a little bit. Did he ever cheat on you?

1:13:43 Caller Has he ever? I don't know if I should feel bad for this.

1:13:47 Adam Well, you were, hold on a second. He is your first, you lost your virginity to your boyfriend, right?

1:13:54 Caller Uh-huh.

1:13:55 Adam How many women was he with before you? One. Does he talk about her?

1:14:00 Caller He has before.

1:14:03 Adam Little payback, perhaps?

1:14:04 Caller He, hmm.

1:14:06 Adam You're a little tired of hearing about her?

1:14:07 Caller No, no, this one, I mean, I told him this like when we were like dating in the beginning.

1:14:12 Adam Yeah, yeah. But it is...

1:14:14 Caller You just hit them off, or like...

1:14:15 Adam I know, but why would you tell him, you realize obviously this will get stuck in a young man's craw?

1:14:22 Drew Especially one of his friends, he's gonna go nuts on him.

1:14:25 Caller Oh, really? See, I... I don't know, like... Alright, alright. I feel bad, but he tries to use it against me now, like, oh, I don't want to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no. He's like, oh, like you did it for them, and I can't...

1:14:35 Adam No, I know, I know. Guys are horrible. You know what? I'm gonna say break up.

1:14:40 Caller Really?

1:14:41 Adam Yeah, you know why? Because if this guy was 35 and you were 30, you guys could figure this out. He's gonna keep it in fresh in his craw, and he's gonna summon it out of his craw all the time. It's at the top of his craw. Do you understand?

1:14:58 Caller Yeah.

1:14:59 Adam And he will use this craw against you. Do not make me use the craw.

1:15:04 Caller He think it's done and I can just forget about him.

1:15:06 Adam I just think if you guys get married in three years, he'll be thinking about this when you're walking down the aisle because guys have a sort of craw Tourette's.

1:15:15 Drew They have a pick at the scab gene.

1:15:18 Adam They can't do it. Later on, you get to our age, you just hope to die in your sleep. That's really what you're hoping for. Pray to Christ you die in your sleep. That's who you become obsessed with. Please, God, don't let it be a violent death. Let me just go in my sleep.

1:15:31 Drew Whatever your wife did before.

1:15:33 Adam Shave 40 years off. I don't care. Just let me go in my sleep. That's all. But Monica, yeah, this guy, it's in his craw. It's going to use it against you. And by the way, you're 20. You've only been with one guy. Break it off. Get clean. Start fresh. And do not tell the new guy what is in the craw.

1:15:51 Drew Well, what would get stuck in the craw?

1:15:53 Adam What would get stuck in his craw.

1:15:54 Drew Yeah.

1:15:55 Adam See, here's the thing. As a guy, you have a sieve in your head. And when you're young, it's a very fine sieve. It's a cheesecloth, everything gets caught. Nothing makes, nothing larger than a couple microns.

1:16:11 Drew And it's all stuck and it all irritates you.

1:16:13 Adam Yeah.

1:16:13 Drew It's like a sore.

1:16:15 Adam Yeah. Now I have a hula hoop with just one lone tampon string going across it. Everything falls through. I don't care what it is, it all makes it through now. No craw stickage at all. Even craw flow.

1:16:29 Drew Just that one string is the violent death string.

1:16:32 Adam Yeah.

1:16:32 Drew That's it.

1:16:34 Adam That's all. No craw stickage. Barely even have a craw. Do you have a craw?

1:16:39 Drew No, I lost mine long ago.

1:16:40 Adam I lost my craw too.

1:16:42 Drew The craw is gone, but the passion remains.

1:16:44 Adam The passion. Oh, yes.

1:16:45 Drew The craw is gone.

1:16:46 Adam Now that runs deep. Engineer Chris, would you have to look the other way and look like a dog? Do you have to look like my dog looks at me? That's what my dog looks like when I fart on it. If I fart for my dog, that's what Chris, engineer.

1:17:01 Drew 90 degree head aversion.

1:17:02 Adam Yeah, just 90 degree head tilt staring off into space. Do you know what a craw is? Sure. Do you think you have a craw?

1:17:11 Drew No.

1:17:11 Adam Okay.

1:17:12 Drew Is there a particular sort of animal or beast that has a craw? I don't think so.

1:17:17 Adam Okay. All right. Good. Is anything currently stuck in your craw? Not really.

1:17:23 Drew Not even the way Adam speaks to you? That's what cut my craw.

1:17:25 Adam Do you have to stare off into space with the head tilted at 90 degrees?

1:17:29 Caller You're a dick to a lot of people on the air.

1:17:31 Adam Oh, oh, oh, oh.

1:17:32 Drew Someone's sucking Anderson's craw.

1:17:34 Adam Oh, what isn't in his craw? Anderson has like five craws. Five craws of death. It's a great, great kung-fu movie. All right. You ready to rock? Yeah. All right. I realize Injured Chris just completely tunes out and drifts off. It's the only way he can...

1:17:52 Drew Except when you look towards him, then that head turns.

1:17:54 Adam Yeah. But he reminds me of people like when they talk to these victims who were violently raped and attacked, gang raped and stuff. And they always, Oprah's talking to him. It's like, how did you get through it? It's like, I just tuned out.

1:18:07 Drew Yeah. That's dissociation.

1:18:09 Adam I picked a point on the ceiling.

1:18:10 Drew No, nothing is volitional as that. It's a parasympathetic nervous system.

1:18:15 Adam I had to tune out, otherwise it would go insane.

1:18:17 Drew It's an adaptation to survival. Well, it's a way of just...

1:18:20 Adam Chris has to tune out in order to survive. I understand that.

1:18:23 Drew Your vagus nerve is what mediates all that.

1:18:25 Adam That's right.

1:18:25 Drew You say Vegas? Yeah. V-A-G-U-S.

1:18:28 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:18:30 Drew Woo, we heard that though.

1:18:31 Adam Sarah?

1:18:33 Caller Adam. Corolla.

1:18:36 Adam What's happening, baby? Yeah, and I don't know, you know what? Chicks don't have a craw. Chicks have a file, a dossier. Things don't get stuck in their craw. They just keep a file. They've organized a file.

1:18:47 Drew One of those files is... It keeps falling out.

1:18:49 Adam The chore keeps going. Yeah. All right, go ahead, Sarah. What's up, baby doll?

1:18:53 Caller Oh, it's a portfolio file, too. It's collated and dated and...

1:18:56 Adam Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they know everything. They know everything.

1:19:00 Caller We're on top of it. My question is, since my father died in March, first I shut down sexually. And then as he regained my libido, it became a lot more aggressive and a lot more frequent.

1:19:19 Drew Same person?

1:19:20 Caller I'm sorry?

1:19:21 Drew With your boyfriend or with multiple guys?

1:19:23 Caller With my boyfriend. Stable relationship for two and a half years. And we've been sexually active in the past and had a repertoire of sorts and we're pretty flexible as far as intimacy and you know.

1:19:37 Drew Hold, stop for one second.

1:19:39 Caller Okay.

1:19:39 Drew How old do you think Sarah is again?

1:19:43 Adam She sounds older.

1:19:44 Drew Yeah, but not the Vietnam veteran old.

1:19:46 Adam She's 19. She sounds mature.

1:19:48 Drew The Caltech graduate student older.

1:19:49 Adam Eh, just sort of mature and lucid.

1:19:53 Drew Yeah.

1:19:53 Adam We're not used to talking to people.

1:19:55 Drew We're used to 19 year olds when they sound older sounding like they've been through some sort of mash camp.

1:20:00 Adam Right. Sarah.

1:20:02 Caller You have yourself to thank for that. I've been a loyal listener since I was 14.

1:20:06 Adam Thank you, Ms. Lucid.

1:20:07 Drew Wow, a success call.

1:20:09 Adam Clear craw on Sarah. What, your dad, how did he pass away?

1:20:16 Caller I had a heart attack.

1:20:18 Adam Well, at least it was sudden, right?

1:20:21 Caller Right. It was actually, it couldn't have been better in a crappy kind of way because it was a Sunday. So I had breakfast with him that morning before going to work. And he and my mom went to the casino and then they were having dinner with friends. And it was, you know, couldn't ask for anything more, I guess.

1:20:36 Adam Yeah.

1:20:36 Drew No, I mean, better not to die.

1:20:38 Adam You can ask for not to die, but that, yeah, you could ask for no death. But that would be cancer, it eats away at his brain.

1:20:41 Caller There could be not death too. That'd be nice.

1:20:43 Adam All right. All right. So we're not deeming you anything really, are we, Drew?

1:20:49 Drew Smart.

1:20:49 Adam You're smart. What do you do?

1:20:51 Caller Thank you.

1:20:51 Caller What do you do?

1:20:53 Caller I work in retail.

1:20:56 Caller I don't go to school or anything, if that's what you're asking. Adam, actually, under your advice, I have stayed away from junior college.

1:21:02 Drew Yeah, but go ahead and go to four year. Go ahead.

1:21:05 Adam No, why? She's making money. She's sharp.

1:21:07 Drew Yeah, but she is a loss of this. She's something that could benefit vacation.

1:21:10 Adam Let me say something. Hold on, sweetie pea. Let me say this. And maybe it's the business I'm in. Maybe it's the businesses I've been in, whether it be fast paced world of working in a carpet cleaning van or no, but really the businesses I've been involved with, whether it's swinging a hammer, coaching boxing, comedy, whatever, television, radio, and all the people we've ever employed through the man show, crank anchors, whatever, nobody cares about college. Oh, we know the guys who shake their ass. We know the guys who move. We know the guys who hustle. I know some of the things you learned out in college.

1:21:49 Drew Oh, no, I'm just saying, you don't know who the guy was before college. It can change how your mind works. Yes, yes.

1:21:55 Adam Now, I got some slackers who went to college. Maybe they'd be brain dead if they weren't.

1:22:00 Drew Sometimes it doesn't change them, but sometimes it does.

1:22:02 Adam Guys who hustle, hustle. And Sarah is a hustler. She's working retail. She's gonna work sales. She's gonna make a bunch of money. Her stopping and going to college right now is just gonna slow down her momentum. Let her make some money. And she doesn't. All right. Some people, maybe they need to be taught how to think. Sarah, I don't think is one of those people.

1:22:23 Drew All right. So your question is why the more frequent sex and the more sort of a intense sex?

1:22:29 Caller Well, and I'm asking really, should I seek any kind of therapy for this or should I wait and kind of, you know, finish grieving? Because I'm worried that I'm perhaps this has triggered some sort of bipolarity in me because I'll be happy, happy, happy for you for a few days.

1:22:45 Adam And then I get some, get some therapy.

1:22:48 Drew Wouldn't hurt, but, wouldn't hurt.

1:22:49 Adam But you're fine.

1:22:50 Drew The lability is not by polarity. And the need for higher levels of arousal and more frequent sex is tired. Lability means up and down.

1:22:58 Adam Up and down.

1:22:59 Drew And the need for more sex and sort of more arousing sex is just a way of just escaping.

1:23:05 Adam All right.

1:23:05 Drew It's fine. Yeah, it's fine.

1:23:07 Adam All right, sir. You keep working, keep working that sales and work your way up.

1:23:12 Caller I sell the CDs. I sell them.

1:23:14 Adam You'll be fine. You're good.

1:23:15 Caller I think so.

1:23:16 Adam You're a hustler. God bless. You give me a hustler. Show me a hustler, Drew. Show me someone who's eager for the fray. No, I worked with a lot of people that were college graduates. Some of them, you couldn't tell they went anywhere, and some of them seemed smarter, but it all seemed like it was coming from their sort of inner core.

1:23:33 Drew The engine.

1:23:34 Adam Yes. It's like some people just have a cadence. They just have a battery in them. I don't know what it is. They don't take no for an answer. There's others that just, they're like animals. Just some people are like cats. They just want to relax and nap all day, and then other people like Chihuahuas or pain in the ass, but they're good to work with. By the way, you got that hustle thing going everybody. Fine, you're good. And also, I don't even know what a four-year degree does other than get you into a place to get a doctorate or a master's or something. I'm not sure what a four-year degree on its own does anymore unless you want to go into teaching or something that specifically requires it. I don't even know that the business world is so interested in that. All right. We, you know, doing lots, I'm just, just telling people.

1:24:24 Drew Smart versus street smart.

1:24:25 Adam No, just doing lots of-

1:24:26 Drew You're like, you sound like the-

1:24:27 Adam Yeah, I know. Look, I'm not a big fan of the street smart either. You can, you can be both or, or, or neither just have, just have a little fire in you. But we've hired a lot of people. We do lots of interviews. They're, what they did before, what their training was, what their degrees were all took a distant sort of backseat to-

1:24:48 Drew Who the person is.

1:24:49 Adam What their eyes looked like, how dynamic they were, what they were talking about, how lucid they were, what their energy level was, what their confidence level was.

1:24:57 Drew It depends what you're looking for, too. It depends. Listen, you go for an academic position, everything.

1:25:01 Adam When you're going for an academic position, then you need the academics.

1:25:05 Drew But if you're going for a research position, you're going for a position in a company that is highly scientific.

1:25:10 Adam That's one-tenth of 1% of everyone is listening. All right. Drew loves college.

1:25:15 Drew Just saying.

1:25:15 Adam He's just saying. We'll take ourselves a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Loveline will be right back.

1:25:31 Caller Ninety four seven FM.

1:25:52 Adam Yeah, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Stabbed in the gut. Can't get a boner. Happened six months ago. Anthony from Modesto. Anthony?

1:26:04 Caller Yo.

1:26:05 Adam What's up?

1:26:06 Caller Not much. It's been a while since I had an erection, and my girlfriend's getting pissed off about it.

1:26:12 Adam Who stabbed you?

1:26:13 Caller This drunk guy.

1:26:15 Adam Did you know him?

1:26:16 Drew With a buck knife?

1:26:17 Caller Huh?

1:26:19 Drew Everybody I've ever treated got stabbed by a buck knife.

1:26:21 Adam A buck knife. I don't think people know this. Too many knife names, so I'll become buck knife. Besides, steak knife makes him seem like a wuss. And butter knife, that means you're gay.

1:26:30 Drew Uh, where in the abdomen did he stab you with?

1:26:32 Adam What did he stab you with? What kind of knife?

1:26:35 Caller Um, just a small little pocket knife that had ridges on it.

1:26:39 Adam Ooh, serrated. Bad times.

1:26:41 Drew And where in the abdomen did he hit you?

1:26:43 Caller Lower. It's pretty close to the crotch, but when I went to the doctor, they said it shouldn't affect anything. I've been there a couple of times. They said I'm fine down there.

1:26:50 Drew Were you operated on?

1:26:52 Caller Huh? No, because he didn't go that deep. I tried to jump back, and so he only, like, poked me in a little bit.

1:27:00 Drew Did they put you on any medication?

1:27:02 Caller Um, no.

1:27:04 Drew You're taking no med-

1:27:05 Caller No, they just stitched it up, and that's it.

1:27:07 Drew Well, you're taking no medication now?

1:27:09 Caller Right now? No.

1:27:10 Drew Right now. No pain pills?

1:27:12 Caller No. I didn't want to take any pain pills.

1:27:14 Drew No pot?

1:27:16 Caller No.

1:27:16 Adam Why didn't you want to take any pain pills?

1:27:19 Caller Because it wasn't hurting that bad.

1:27:19 Adam What's the best part about getting stabbed? Hmm?

1:27:22 Drew The only good part, right?

1:27:23 Adam Yeah. Wasn't- Well, showing the scar at the swimming pool, I'm saying that's where you got- before you play a rousing game of Adam Corolla, showing the scar and saying that's where I was stabbed. No, I was cut. I was cut.

1:27:36 Drew I can't understand how the stabbing could have anything to do with your erection. If it barely- it didn't get into your abdomen, it barely sort of broke the skin. Well, what are we talking about here?

1:27:44 Caller Well, I don't know, but it's just ever since then, I can't get into erection when I'm having sex.

1:27:49 Drew When you're having sex, but you get them when you wake up in the morning?

1:27:54 Caller No, I haven't had erection in six months, basically.

1:27:57 Adam All right, go back to the doctor.

1:27:58 Drew Yes, something's wrong. I can't figure out what it would be and it doesn't seem like. Were you traumatized by this whole thing? Is that you're depressed, you're not sleeping? Is it something related to that?

1:28:09 Adam I don't know.

1:28:09 Drew Even then, it sounds so biological.

1:28:12 Adam Yeah, but not having erection in the middle of the night, not having one in the morning when you have to urinate.

1:28:18 Drew Maybe he actually got some other problem along the way here. Let me ask him. Have you been thirsty a lot?

1:28:24 Adam Thirsty?

1:28:25 Drew Yeah, you're not drinking a lot of water and peeing a lot.

1:28:28 Adam Thirsty for knowledge, but you're talking about water?

1:28:30 Drew I'm just wondering if he's diabetic or something else happened in the meantime and he's sort of like primitive man. Well, this happened, therefore maybe you're just getting sick and you didn't notice it and you're equating it with the stabbing. Do you drink a lot?

1:28:45 Caller Beer, yeah, kind of.

1:28:46 Drew How much?

1:28:50 Caller I get drunk on the weekends a lot.

1:28:53 Adam Anthony, if you attempted to masturbate tonight, could you achieve an erection?

1:28:59 Caller Probably not.

1:29:00 Drew All right, go back to that.

1:29:01 Adam Hold on, probably not?

1:29:02 Caller Yeah, I've tried it before and I've done it for at least like five, six minutes and nothing ever happened.

1:29:11 Drew No erection?

1:29:12 Caller No.

1:29:13 Adam Six months of this?

1:29:14 Caller Yeah, it's been horrible.

1:29:16 Caller All right, go back to that.

1:29:16 Adam Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

1:29:17 Drew Do you know what we mean by erection?

1:29:19 Caller Yeah.

1:29:20 Drew What do you mean? Wait, wait. What do you mean by that? What do you mean by erection?

1:29:27 Caller I get it to come out.

1:29:31 Adam Oh, Drew, they have stumbled on to something.

1:29:36 Drew What's he doing for five minutes without an erection?

1:29:38 Adam Well, he's trying to get one. Yeah. No, erection is college. It's city folk talk for boner.

1:29:46 Caller Oh, okay.

1:29:48 Drew So you don't have an orgasm.

1:29:50 Caller Okay.

1:29:51 Adam But do you get a boner if you try to? I'm not even saying masturbate. That's a big word, too. If you try to-

1:29:58 Drew Loveline has hit a new low on it.

1:30:00 Adam If you try to fiddle with your Pepe, do you get a boner?

1:30:05 Caller Yeah.

1:30:07 Caller But I haven't had an orgasm.

1:30:09 Adam No orgasm, but you do have an erection.

1:30:13 Caller Okay.

1:30:15 Adam Well, you see they're very different things.

1:30:18 Caller All right. I'm sorry.

1:30:20 Adam That's all right.

1:30:21 Drew Don't be sorry.

1:30:21 Adam Don't apologize.

1:30:22 Drew But don't-

1:30:23 Adam Apologize to your penis.

1:30:25 Drew Because when you talk to-

1:30:26 Adam I mean, do it.

1:30:27 Drew Right now.

1:30:28 Adam I want to hear it.

1:30:29 Caller I'm sorry. Yeah. All right.

1:30:31 Adam So still can go to the doctor. Drew, when Drew said, I want to know if he knows what erection means, I looked at him cross-eyed.

1:30:41 Drew How dare you? I think one of our callers cannot understand basic English language. Right.

1:30:46 Adam When he said he'd been playing with himself for five, six minutes, I thought he was just trying to nurse it.

1:30:52 Drew A guy wouldn't do that.

1:30:53 Adam Well, but I also figured five, six minutes was a minute of him trying to get it going. So he's not having an orgasm. I think we have had people mistake or confuse the orgasm with the erection.

1:31:08 Drew We've had people confuse all kinds of things.

1:31:10 Adam All right. Back to the doctor.

1:31:12 Drew Yeah. But don't talk about the stabbing. The stabbing has nothing to do with this.

1:31:16 Adam Right.

1:31:16 Drew Talk to the doctor about this lack of orgasmic function and then see if they can figure that out.

1:31:20 Adam All right.

1:31:21 Drew Well, that's nothing to do with the stabbing.

1:31:22 Adam Let's talk to Chris. Chris?

1:31:25 Caller Yes.

1:31:27 Adam You spend a lot of money on hookers?

1:31:29 Caller Yes.

1:31:30 Caller Actually, the last three, four years it's been pretty bad.

1:31:34 Adam How much is it? What do you get? Do you get sex? Do you get oral sex?

1:31:39 Caller No, usually just, you know, hand job.

1:31:42 Adam Oh, really?

1:31:44 Drew What's that old-fashioned?

1:31:46 Adam What does that set you back?

1:31:49 Caller More than I could even count.

1:31:52 Adam No, per episode. How much per pop?

1:31:56 Caller About $150.

1:31:58 Adam $150 for a hand job? Wow.

1:32:02 Drew Do you know what a hand job?

1:32:05 Adam Yeah. Man, back in the day, we used to get them for like $1.75.

1:32:10 Caller Right.

1:32:11 Adam $150 for a hand job? Yeah. I think you're getting played. I could give you, I get you the same hand job for $75. Same job, same hand job, same one.

1:32:22 Drew Anyway, this is sexual addiction, Chris. This is it. When you start using hookers compulsively and don't want to.

1:32:28 Adam What do you do? Do you do it in your car?

1:32:30 Caller Well, no, usually at my place.

1:32:34 Adam They come over. Well, if you're going to bring them over, you got to pay.

1:32:38 Drew Right.

1:32:39 Adam Same girl?

1:32:41 Caller No. It's always different.

1:32:43 Adam Girl. Every week.

1:32:46 Caller And sometimes, you know, it's two to three times a week, depending on how much I work.

1:32:51 Adam And what do you do?

1:32:53 Caller I do asphalt.

1:32:56 Adam Does asphalt? Mm-hmm.

1:32:58 Caller What are you doing?

1:32:58 Adam Are you raking or are you driving the steamroller?

1:33:02 Caller Actually, I run the paper.

1:33:04 Adam Oh, nice. All right. Heavy equipment. Yeah. That's a good smelling job, too. Smelling that tar. All right. Chris. Yes. What should he do? You're getting compulsive about it. Yeah.

1:33:16 Drew You either stop and get a relationship and try to get out of this, or you may have to look into S-A-Sexaholic, Sexaholic, Sexaholic.

1:33:22 Adam Again, how about some exercise, some activities, get into something? I really do believe that a lot of this stuff would at least curtail if you were tired or invigorated. You came home from a...

1:33:36 Drew It's a little bit, though, of sort of diverting the attention from the real work that needs to be done, because that stuff will surface in some way later.

1:33:42 Adam Let's take a break. We'll be back. Well, that's the show, everybody. Melinda Clarke from the OC in Tomorrow Night. And until next time, this is Adam Crowell for Dr. Drew's saying, Mahalo.

1:34:30 Drew Do furries prefer oral sex or anal sex?

1:34:34 Caller This has been Love Line.

1:34:37 Adam Loveline, the opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, May 24, 2005