Episode 1000710693577

0:20 Yeah, whatever.

0:21 Voiceover 10, 9, 8, 7, 6.

0:31 Drew L-I-N-A. Paulina.

0:33 Adam Sounds like I spelled the meat. I am dead meat, P-A-U.

0:44 Drew And then give me 13 more autographs.

0:45 I was like, what?

0:48 Voiceover Discretion is advised, discretion is advised, discretion is advised.

1:01 Voiceover Hey, everybody, it's the Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Melinda Clarke from the OC is here tonight. Hello. Thursday nights, 8 o'clock at, wait a minute, 8 and 9 o'clock on Fox. I saw, I was driving up, I don't know, La Brea today and I saw two OC big billboards just sort of stacked, like one and then two blocks later, the next billboard I saw another OC. Yeah, I don't know how any of that works. But point is-

1:39 Drew 8 and 9 o'clock.

1:41 Melinda Clarke I think that's what they're doing for the summertime. Our finale was last week, so they're repeating the entire season.

1:48 Adam Don't give away the finale to the stoners.

1:50 Drew You want the T-voter to have them watch it?

1:53 Melinda Clarke That was a couple of episodes ago, a couple of weeks ago.

1:55 Drew I missed that finale.

1:56 Adam Drew, Melinda's currently signing an autograph for Drew's daughter because everyone in the Pinsky family is a huge OC fan.

2:05 Drew Especially the ones with 2X chromosomes. Oh, yeah. The dudes love it.

2:10 Adam Yeah. I know. I enjoy the OC as well because I love that stuff. I mean, I used to watch Melrose Place all the time.

2:20 Drew Nots Landing.

2:20 Adam Nots Landing.

2:22 Drew You admit that?

2:23 Adam I did. Dynasty. Oh, 90210.

2:26 Drew Dalconcrest.

2:27 Adam Yeah. But I mean, like, seriously, like, Melrose Place, there's, I hope, always going to be a place for that ilk of television or entertainment in our society. And I feel like OC is, if that's as close a comparison as I can figure out. Do you have a better one?

2:49 Melinda Clarke I think it's all of those things, but it's a step further because it's not air and spelling.

2:53 Adam Yeah, it's an evolution of it.

2:55 Melinda Clarke It's a bit further, but that's what's great about our shows because I think we all kind of miss the 902. We won't know Melrose Place, and our audience is a little bit older. And that was kind of a surprise to have that many people watching it in that age range. So I guess it's okay for us to, you know.

3:10 Adam You're a Dana Point native, which is either in the OC or not too far from the OC.

3:15 Melinda Clarke It's the OC.

3:16 Adam That's the OC.

3:17 Drew But she grew up right near where I kind of grew up.

3:18 Melinda Clarke We went to the same high school, we figured out.

3:20 Drew No, I was at the same beaches and stuff.

3:22 Melinda Clarke The same beaches. Oh, we saw each other at a.

3:24 Drew In the middle of the night in New York City.

3:26 Melinda Clarke 3 in the morning.

3:27 Adam Yeah, I heard I was talking to Drew on the phone and I'm very drunk and Melinda Clarke staggered up to Drew.

3:32 Melinda Clarke He says, what are you doing at 3 o'clock in the morning? What do you think I'm doing?

3:36 Adam Yeah, having a good time, partying. Yeah, see, see Drew.

3:41 Melinda Clarke I was pretty good. I was a little bit tired.

3:43 Drew You maintained, you maintained.

3:45 Adam Drew, well, Drew's very sobering. He really is.

3:48 Melinda Clarke Yeah, you probably haven't been drinking at that point.

3:50 Drew I just finished radio. I had to broadcast back here.

3:53 Melinda Clarke Right. So yeah, what a job.

3:57 Adam I never thought about that, but yeah, so whenever we're in New York, I was just there. We have to do the radio from 1 a.m. to 3 a.m. and then you get back to your hotel room at 3 45. And whoever is working the floor buffer over at the Riga Royals, things like Dr. Drew is an animal. Yeah. This guy is coming in 3 45 every night.

4:19 Melinda Clarke But that's the problem.

4:20 Adam He's got to have a couple of bitches.

4:22 Melinda Clarke That's a problem with New York though. You can always find a party at any time of the day. That is a problem. I was very happy to come home because of that.

4:28 Adam And you just walk. I mean, I would just walk from the studio, CBS, just 3.30 in the morning, just chugging down the street. You got to walk with purpose though, otherwise you will get rolled. But if you lean in...

4:41 Drew Remember we ran into a carload of prostitutes at one night?

4:43 Adam Yeah. We met a minivan full of prostitutes at one night. And these were chicks that really looked like prostitute puppets. They were sort of that. They were novel. You know, I mean, it's huge eyelashes. Like, you know, like if you were going to make a puppet prostitute, this is what huge hair and crazy. And these and these they're all piled in this minivan. We're walking home about 315 in the morning. And they're like, you fell in. And Drew's like, those ladies require assistance. He's like Clark Kent. He starts walking at the makes a sharp turn. And he starts heading for this van full of like a Puerto Rican prostitute.

5:27 Melinda Clarke How do you know they're women?

5:29 Adam That's another good point. Yeah, well, prostitute does not necessarily mean woman.

5:33 Drew Don't worry, I don't intervene.

5:35 Adam I just grabbed Drew's arm like, where are you going, Drew? And he's like, those ladies are in some form of jeopardy. And they require assistance. I must intervene.

5:45 Melinda Clarke I must put on my blue tights.

5:47 Adam That dark gentleman of leisure with the feathered cat and the crushed velvet duster also requires assistance.

5:56 Drew Adam had the great intervention at that point, which was, look forward and keep walking. Just keep walking.

6:01 Adam That's right.

6:01 Drew What happened?

6:03 Melinda Clarke Street smart.

6:04 Drew He goes, what do you think that was? I'm like, these people need help. They said, help, help.

6:09 Adam Yeah, what did they yell?

6:11 Drew So like, hey, they sort of looked like they were distressed.

6:14 Adam They were like flagging us down at three in the morning, and Drew had never seen a prostitute. But have you ever seen movies that had prostitutes?

6:21 Drew I guess, well, I guess not.

6:24 So naive.

6:26 Adam So anyway, it's where I really had to explain to him how things work.

6:33 Drew Here's the real comment.

6:33 Adam Male and female genitalia.

6:35 Drew I argued with you for a little bit. It's like, what are you talking about? They need help.

6:38 Adam When a daddy feels love for a woman, blood goes to his organ and it gets in gorge with blood, and then he puts that in the mommy.

6:50 Drew That's gross. I'm never going to do that.

6:55 Melinda Clarke How do you start that conversation?

6:56 Drew That's how it goes.

6:58 Adam How do you do it?

6:58 Drew You go, they'll usually come up with something, and you go, first check with them, make sure what they're asking. You go, what do you really want to know? Just answer it and then just ask again, do you want to know more? And just keep going until they go, oh my god, oh my god, enough.

7:13 Melinda Clarke I have a friend with the five-year-old twins, the boys, and one of them asked her, did you long kiss daddy when you got married? And she said, well yeah, it's my daddy. I mean, it's your daddy, it's my husband. Okay, let me ask you one more thing. Does he kiss your boobies?

7:30 He's fine.

7:31 Adam I know, that's why I'm not gonna, I will.

7:34 Melinda Clarke She didn't know what to say.

7:36 Drew I don't want to talk to my kids. You just gotta go matter of fact. You just gotta go, well yeah.

7:40 Melinda Clarke Yeah.

7:41 Drew Really?

7:41 Adam How about lying? I would have preferred if my parents lied to me about almost everything.

7:45 Drew Not when you ask them a question. If you ask them a question, they just gotta come back, just the facts, just the facts. Right.

7:51 Adam I remember my dad's-

7:52 Drew But don't launch into anything.

7:54 Melinda Clarke The problem is this little boy, my daughter thinks is her boyfriend. So we have to watch them.

8:02 Adam My dad's first really crappy apartment in North Hollywood with the paper thin walls. Some chick that lived in the unit next to my dad's just got the bejesus banged out of her all night one night. She was screaming. She was a screamer, obviously. I figured it- By the way, my only encounter with a moaner, by the way, when I was eight. I haven't seen him in a while. Not in my adult life, not a peep. I've been a church mice since then. But I had an ass full when I was eight. This woman, it was just all night. I was up all night. She was like, oh. She was like, this one of those nurses you used to get. That kind of thing, crazy. I'm coked up. She's just screaming. She's screaming all night, just like bellowing. And I'm like, uh, dad. I sort of, in my mind and picture, she had impaled herself on something and was stuck. You know, like she was in her bathroom and fell on like a hot comb and it went through her sternum and she was just writhing in pain the entire night. You know, there's like four, whoever this dude, now I would have high-fived it there like, whoa, what the hell? But this guy was giving her this shit all night, just bellowing all night. And I remember just saying to my dad, dad, this woman, she's sick, she's ill. And then he snapped in that weird, serious thing like, son, and I was like, oh no. Like I knew immediately, oh, something, no. Okay, stop. See, that's the option.

9:33 Drew But you don't go into that mode. If you launch into, well, son, this is because mommy loves the daddy and blah, blah, blah. Then the kid's going, blah, blah, blah, blah. I just want to know, do you kiss the boobies? That's all.

9:41 Adam Right. Okay, well, all I'm saying is the kids need the olly olly oxen free. I mean, they need to be able to pull the plug on the question. They need the safety word.

9:49 Drew The safe word.

9:50 Adam Stop.

9:50 Drew The safe word is like elephant.

9:52 Adam Yeah, yeah, because that's how it would go. Daddy, this woman, this poor woman is sick. We have to call the hospital.

9:57 Drew Well, son.

9:58 Elephant, elephant.

10:00 Adam Okay, something weird and sexual is coming. All right. OC, everybody. Fox.

10:06 Big hit.

10:07 Adam Coming back for third season, yes.

10:08 Why'd you pick elephant as the word?

10:11 Drew That's just what popped into my head. Why? Does it mean?

10:13 Did it mean something like like like I don't know, 45 years ago, maybe Ricky Rackman was filling in for Adam and he was the exact same word.

10:21 Drew Weird. How do you remember that?

10:22 Very strange because Daniel and I, the old screener, used to make fun of it all the time.

10:26 Drew Oh, funny.

10:27 Creepy.

10:28 Adam You want to explain everyone who Ricky Rackman is?

10:32 Melinda Clarke I remember selling cars.

10:33 Adam Anderson, turn your mic down, please. Kelly.

10:38 Yes.

10:39 Adam You're 20?

10:40 Caller Yes, I'm 20.

10:41 Adam What's up?

10:43 Caller Well, I have a lot higher sex drive than my boyfriend who is 24. And we're constantly having a fight with, I instigate it and I want it, and then he completely shoots me down. So the sex is great when we have it, it's just I'm definitely not having enough of it.

11:02 Drew Are you running right now? Are you okay?

11:05 Adam She's horny all the time.

11:07 She's got a drive.

11:09 Adam Hey, is this the chick who lived next door to my dad in that crappy apartment? Maybe it's her offspring, her horny offspring.

11:16 Drew And so let me understand this, this is just, how long you guys been together?

11:21 Caller A year.

11:22 Drew And it's been the same way all through that most of that year?

11:25 Caller No, the first three months were great because I, you know, it's new, it's interesting.

11:29 Drew And how often are you doing it?

11:31 Caller We do it maybe once, twice a week.

11:33 Drew And what are you wanting?

11:37 Caller Once a day, every other day, whenever, you know, a little bit more than we're having it.

11:41 Adam A little bit more.

11:43 Drew Once a day is not a little bit more.

11:46 Caller Well, the thing is, is that when I pressure him for sex, then he completes, completely shoots me down, doesn't want to do any of it because then I make him feel inadequate.

11:53 Adam All right, hold on a second. Kelly sounds a little nutty.

11:57 Drew At least a little sort of wound up.

11:59 Adam Yeah.

11:59 Drew Maybe not nutty.

12:00 Adam Okay, wound up. I'll explain this to Melinda that the guys feel, we don't necessarily recoil from the sex, we recoil from the nutty engine that's pushing the sex. It's like when the chick says like, come on, I want to call you daddy or I want you to smack me in the ass or something. It's not that guys aren't into that, but it's like, ooh, something's nutty, something's going on here. And then when we sense nutty, all we want to do is sort of watch TiVo. We just gotta, yeah, you know what? Let me think on this for about three months. Yeah. Don't come near me, I gotta think. Okay, oral, but that's it.

12:43 Drew And isn't also they feel like sort of taken out of the equation a little bit, like the girl's not attracted to him, she's just attracted to just that engine's just going off.

12:53 Melinda Clarke Her emotional needs, a little desperation.

12:56 Drew Because guys don't want to desperation as long as they're triggering it.

13:01 Adam And also guys are sort of, they're taken out of their, I don't know, I'm just thinking about boxing, they're taken out of their fight plan. Like they're like an aggressive fighter and they're used to just bullying people and all of a sudden someone comes flying out at them and they're against the ropes and they don't know how to fight all of a sudden. They're out of their plan.

13:18 Drew They don't know how to fight defensively, yes.

13:20 Adam Right, we're used to moving forward, we're not used to moving, stepping back and counter punching and when he asks us to do that we just seize up.

13:28 Melinda Clarke Does she just play it cool?

13:31 Drew Well here's part of the thing Kelly, is that both Adam and I responded to something you said that I think you could pull off which is doing things a little more. But doing things a little more is sort of agreeing how much a little more is which is probably regularly twice a week and then take the heat off the everyday thing. He's not up for that and he feels inadequate because he's not up for it. He can't keep up with that pace.

13:54 Caller That's compromising to his needs but he's not compromising to my needs at all.

13:56 Drew No, that's not compromising.

13:58 Adam Hold on. You're 20, you've been together for a year, you're way off in your sexual scheduling, maybe just break it off.

14:04 Drew There's that solution.

14:06 Caller No. The thing is that I will go away without-

14:08 Adam I'm going to scream yes like a parrot and see if I can make my point. Yeah, what?

14:12 Caller I feel like I'm having more of a relationship with my vibrator than I am my actual boyfriend.

14:17 Adam You see, Kelly, we don't expect you to know you're nuts, because nuts doesn't know nuts. That's part of the way you measure nuts.

14:23 Drew Lack of insight.

14:24 Adam If you know you're nuts, how nutty can you be?

14:28 Caller What's wrong with a woman having a higher sex drive than a man?

14:30 Adam Well, nothing, but I think it's your nuttiness that he's responding to or recording from.

14:38 Caller I'm not nasty in bed. It's sex. I'm not like, spank me, baby. It's not like that.

14:43 Drew Kelly.

14:44 Caller It's not that I'm freaking him out.

14:45 Drew All right. You're not listening. Okay. We said that he needs to make a compromise and you need to make compromise. You need to reach somewhere in the middle and then realize that every day he can't biologically keep up with that.

14:57 Adam Kelly, what do you do? I'm guessing you're working. Junior college. What do you got going?

15:05 Caller I go to college. I'm out of college right now because of the summer, but I work as a sales associate.

15:11 Adam Junior college?

15:13 Caller No, not junior college.

15:15 Drew Where are you going to school?

15:16 Adam There's something lower than junior college?

15:19 Drew Which one?

15:20 Adam University of Colorado.

15:20 Caller University of Colorado.

15:23 Drew Yes. Is there a bipolar disorder in your family, manic depression?

15:28 Caller No, there's not.

15:29 Drew Have you had any concerns about that kind of thing? Because you're all sped up tonight, maybe just because you're nervous.

15:34 Caller No, no. I'm outside. We were bowling.

15:38 Adam You were bowling? Drew and I shot a few games, too, before we came in tonight, but we've mellowed out tonight, so that's fine.

15:46 Drew That's caught our breath pretty quick.

15:47 Adam Yeah. All right. What's your average, Kelly?

15:52 Caller I don't know. 100. I'm really bad.

15:54 Adam Okay. All right. Look, here's all I'm saying. If you're sane and you're claiming that you are sane and that he won't compromise, and he won't compromise, and that's not a relationship. You break up. This is what you do when you're 20.

16:06 Caller I mean to compromise, but you-

16:07 Adam All right. Look, you date, you try to find a match. You do not match up with everyone. That's the way it's supposed to be. Right. You people don't understand you're supposed to test drive many a person before you actually lease. You thought I was going to say bye, but I look at marriage as a lease. My wife knows it. Oh, yeah.

16:30 Drew I'm sure she does.

16:31 Adam What do we got? What do we got about another 18 months on my lease? Option to buy, but we'll see. We'll see.

16:39 Drew When her lease on you is up.

16:43 Melinda Clarke Are you a newlywed?

16:44 Adam Yeah. No, I've been married a couple of years. Is that a newlywed? No.

16:48 Melinda Clarke No.

16:49 Adam Two, two and a half years, something like that. It feels new because we argue a lot. What's that?

16:56 Drew It's a two or three years because it's August.

16:58 Adam It's August.

16:59 Drew You better write that down. You better watch out.

17:01 Adam Write that down. Yeah, I got to get down on my cheat sheet. I got a cheat sheet on my wallets. It's got all my good stuff in it. My address is everything. I think it's in my bag, but I'll get it for you. It's a good-looking cheat sheet.

17:13 Drew Can't wait.

17:13 Adam Yeah. I actually have the number, my ATM number written in it, but I decided to cross out one number and just leave three for whoever finds my wallet. No, because I figure I can remember the one. You know what I'm saying?

17:28 Drew You figure whoever finds your wallet can't try the nine numbers before he gets the money?

17:32 Adam No, I don't, Wiseacre, because I'll tell you why. Because you do your thing wrong like three times, it sucks a card in. But he could get lucky. You know my feeling is, someone who finds my wallet and is lucky, take the money. You deserve it. That's why you're lucky. Who am I to stand in the way of your luck? Literally a millionaire, Drew. We don't care. Hannah?

17:55 Yes. Yep.

17:58 Adam What's up?

17:59 I was just diagnosed with HPV and it caught me completely off guard. And I'm just curious as to how it's going to affect me sexually. And when I do get pregnant and have kids, how's that going to work?

18:13 Drew It's not going to affect that significantly.

18:15 Adam So that's warts, right, Drew?

18:17 Drew You've joined most of the women in Dallas because most women have this, right? You understand that?

18:23 Adam Not the series, though. We were talking earlier about the dynasty and the shows.

18:28 Drew I mean the actual series.

18:29 Right.

18:30 Drew You understand that, right?

18:31 Right, yeah.

18:32 Drew How profoundly common this is.

18:35 I didn't know how common it was, but I think it's clear that it is.

18:39 Drew About half your periods have it. And it's certain. Yes.

18:43 Adam I know you keep saying that, but then everyone says no. But then Drew makes the ultimate argument, which is, well, they don't know they have it, which you really can't argue with. It's like, you don't know you're dead. This is all a dream. I should come back with that one.

18:55 Melinda Clarke That's Dallas.

18:56 Adam That's Dallas.

18:57 Drew Yeah, that's right.

18:58 Adam Yeah.

18:59 Drew The fact is...

19:00 Adam The Victoria Principal has warts. Is that what you're saying?

19:02 Drew That's what I'm saying. Well, he's half that cast of.

19:04 Melinda Clarke Patrick Duffy.

19:05 Drew He does. Surely, he does.

19:07 Yeah.

19:08 Drew But the fact is that most of the viruses that cause HPV will go away on their own in about five years. Those that persist... New twist. Those that are persistent are the ones that do cause cervical cancer, and you really won't know which one you have. So you've got to get regular pelvic smear, pelvic exams and pap smears and colposcopies if you have an old pap.

19:27 My doctor has told me that I have to have surgery because I have severe pre-cancer cells in my cervix.

19:32 Drew All right. So you've got the more severe kind of the war virus, and that's the one that tends to persist, and it's one that you'll be contagious with forever.

19:39 Yeah. That's what she said. And I'm just... I don't... She said it was severe.

19:45 Drew So are they going to do a leap procedure, or what are they going to do?

19:47 Yeah, that's what they're going to do.

19:48 Drew And that is a certain percentage risk of affecting what's called cervical competency. You know, the cervix has got to hold the baby in there, and if you screw around the cervix too much, things can kind of open up.

19:58 Adam Is that what holds the baby in?

20:00 Drew Well, that's what comes out. I'll let the umbilical cord hound me.

20:03 Adam No?

20:03 Melinda Clarke You don't want that happening.

20:04 Adam Why that cord? That's like a tie-down.

20:09 Drew That's tie-down. That's what it is.

20:10 Adam Well, no, but here's what was always described to me is when you see people traveling on the freeway and they have that rack on top of the station wagon and there's some camping gear up there and there's a couple of bungee cords pulled over the top or maybe a tie-down. The word cord is right into it.

20:28 Drew Right there.

20:29 Adam It's right there. Umbilical cord. It's not umbilical tube or umbilical trough or flume. That would be a better name for it. Umbilical flume. The umbilical cord. Cord.

20:43 You know what I mean?

20:44 Adam Cord does not... what do you do? Like when someone says, Hey, I have this soft drink and I don't want to mess my lipstick up, so I'm going to drink it through a cord. You know what I mean? People will be confused.

20:55 Melinda Clarke So we should change the name.

20:56 Drew To umbilical straw.

20:58 Adam Umbilical hose. Hose is good.

21:02 Melinda Clarke It's carrying nutrients and oxygen.

21:04 Adam Yeah, we have to, what do they say? We have to, oh, we have to insert a breathing cord into the person or feeding, feeding cord.

21:12 Drew Tube.

21:12 Adam It's tube. It's tube. It's never a cord.

21:14 Drew All right, so corduroy. So as you said, there's a tie down component to it.

21:18 Adam Honda, a cord.

21:19 Drew But the baby's got to come out the cervix, right? And so that's got to stay closed until it's time for the baby to come out. That's the bottom line.

21:26 Adam So you're saying if that opens.

21:27 Drew Until the cord releases.

21:28 Adam The cord is the last line of defense. Because if that gives, then the kid's coming out.

21:32 Drew Yeah, or none.

21:33 Adam So if the cervix is unable to close, the kid's literally dangling there.

21:39 Drew He's not dangling.

21:40 Adam Literally dangling by the cord. By the cord, like a Christmas ornament.

21:43 Drew I see, yes.

21:44 Adam A crazy vaginal Christmas ornament.

21:47 Drew Tube, feeding cord. But a common procedure, Hannah, you got to get it done. It's important that these things can become cancers easily. And you need to get them repeatedly controlled.

21:55 Adam Savannah. Savannah?

21:59 Caller Oh, hi, sorry.

22:00 Adam Seventeen, uh-uh. We hear that voice. What's up?

22:05 Caller Adam.

22:06 Adam Corolla.

22:08 Drew Hopefully, explain to Melinda.

22:09 Adam Oh, and I don't know.

22:10 Drew You wouldn't even let that go without telling her what that was?

22:13 Adam Well, I figured the word had gotten out by now.

22:15 Drew Oh, yeah.

22:16 Adam Summer's heating up, am I right?

22:18 Melinda Clarke Yes.

22:19 Adam And do you have a swimming pool at your place?

22:22 Melinda Clarke Not now. Oh, no. No, and it's. Do you still live in Orange County? Yes, yes.

22:26 Drew Dana Point?

22:27 Melinda Clarke Pardon?

22:27 Drew You still live down in Dana Point?

22:28 Melinda Clarke No, Sherman Oaks.

22:29 Drew Sherman Oaks, that's right, by Adam's house.

22:30 Adam No, Polo. I'm sorry to hear that. I mean, come to one of my homes and swim.

22:34 Drew She's a neighbor.

22:35 Adam Well, that's not one of my homes.

22:36 Drew She'll hear the Adam Corolla ringing out through the neighborhood?

22:38 Adam Well, OK, you can come over to my place and play Marco Polo, which now is going to be called Adam Corolla, because he's had like a run.

22:48 Melinda Clarke He's had a long run.

22:48 Adam It's a good 800-year run with this. I don't know if they played it.

22:53 Drew They had above ground pools. They probably did.

22:55 Adam I don't know if they played it while he was alive is what I'm saying. It could have been one of the things that happened shortly after his death.

23:00 Drew In the ponds, I'm sure they did.

23:01 Adam But all I'm saying is 800 years of Marco Polo. I don't think kids even know Marco Polo. They just think it. I always assumed it was just a game he played in the pool. I didn't even know it was human being until like nine months ago. So I decided, OK, you know, no offense to the Polo family. But by the way, they have water polo, too.

23:20 Yeah.

23:20 Adam Yeah, that's enough.

23:21 Yeah.

23:21 Adam You know, how much pool stuff do you guys have to have your name on?

23:24 Right. Right.

23:25 Adam You know what I'm saying?

23:25 Drew Yeah. I'm with you. Yeah, it's cool.

23:28 Adam Yeah. There's polo body.

23:31 Drew He's going for water corolla eventually.

23:33 Adam But yeah. So Adam Corolla, you know.

23:38 Melinda Clarke I got it. So somebody who's alive can actually enjoy it. Yeah.

23:41 Adam Why not? Imagine how thrilling it would be. Well, let's just say if my parents heard that coming from a neighbor's yard, kids frolicking, laughing, the smell of barbecue in the air. Adam Corolla. Well, dad wiping a tear away.

23:54 Melinda Clarke I'll teach my daughter. Once she can swim with her eyes closed. She's only five. So once she can do that, I'll be sure that she'll never know Polo's name.

24:03 Drew There's a little twist to the fish out of water though. I'm not sure if the fire drills are on.

24:07 Melinda Clarke No, she can't play yet.

24:09 Adam Do you know the fish out of water part of Marco Polo?

24:12 Melinda Clarke Yeah. Fish out of water.

24:13 Adam That's been modified.

24:15 Drew To what?

24:15 Adam Well, Drew, you do it.

24:18 Melinda Clarke Something to do with naked.

24:20 Adam It's bumpy. I got to say, this is a work in progress.

24:24 Drew Maybe we ought to change it right now. Modify it.

24:27 Adam As it is now, Drew.

24:29 Drew It's Adam's master made jacuzzi.

24:32 Adam Well, you have to say fast.

24:33 Drew Say what?

24:33 Adam It sounds weird to say it slow. You've got to yell it. You've got to yell it, otherwise it sounds like you're weirdo.

24:40 Drew Wait a second.

24:42 Melinda Clarke If you're the one who's it and you're blind, you just keep your eyes closed and it's Adam Corolla. And they can say, fish out of water?

24:48 Drew Adam's master made jacuzzi.

24:49 Adam Yeah, that's fish out of water.

24:51 Melinda Clarke Adam's master made jacuzzi.

24:54 Adam It's what it is now.

24:55 Melinda Clarke So that's what you have to say when somebody's out of the water.

24:58 Drew Or actually, if you're playing with Adam.

25:03 Adam It just means you're not playing the game.

25:05 Drew You're playing with.

25:06 Melinda Clarke I can't teach that one yet.

25:08 Adam No, you get a couple more months.

25:10 Melinda Clarke But the adults will go for it.

25:11 Adam All right. Savannah, I know. Savannah. Sorry. You got that started, baby.

25:17 Drew We got to take a break.

25:18 Adam I'll explain to Melinda.

25:19 Drew Hold on one second.

25:20 Adam Relax, Drew. We're taking a break. Drew, relax. I know what I'm doing. Savannah. Huh? You're addicted to sex. You cheat on your boyfriend with seven other guys. Yes. Okay. Hold on. Melinda Clarke here tonight from the OC. She's a good looking one. We will take ourselves a little break and we'll get back with Savannah and her many, many men after this.

25:45 1-800-LOVE-191.

25:48 Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. We'll be right back.

26:02 A public service has been brought to you by the President's Council on Physical Fitness and Sports and the Ad Council.

26:08 Melinda Clarke I don't talk to them.

26:11 Hey, Drew, Adam.

26:12 Adam Yeah.

26:13 Caller I need you guys to cut something for me at the 1120.

26:16 Drew 1120.

26:17 Caller Yeah, just open for a best of and a close.

26:20 Really quick.

26:23 Drew For Sunday?

26:25 Caller Two, one, go.

26:27 Adam Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Melinda Clarke is here from the OC. Fox, Thursday nights, 8 and 9 PM. Two big fat episodes on Thursday night. That's tomorrow night. And, what the hell, there's no contender I watched last night. Remember Sergio Mora, who we had in here?

26:55 Drew He won.

26:56 Adam Yeah, he won. The Latin snake.

26:58 Drew So he's going to the finals?

26:59 Adam No, no. He won the million bucks.

27:01 Drew Oh, my God.

27:02 Adam Yes, he did.

27:03 Drew Oh, yeah. I thought you were going to go to those finals.

27:05 Adam Well, they were yesterday and I couldn't.

27:07 Drew Did they air it yesterday?

27:08 Adam Yes, they did.

27:09 Drew Oh, my God.

27:10 Adam Drew, you have a TV?

27:11 Drew No.

27:11 Okay, please.

27:12 Drew I live in a cave.

27:13 Adam I keep telling you, watch Jack and Tenor.

27:15 Drew It seemed like he was going to win, though, didn't it?

27:19 Adam Well, everyone was pretty good and pretty evenly matched. It's kind of hard to kind of, kind of, it's like flipping a coin and saying like, it seemed like it would land on heads. It's kind of like, hmm, good chance could have gone the other way.

27:31 Drew That's cool.

27:31 Adam I liked him. He was a slick guy and a good fighter. Yeah. But, you know, there were some upsets throughout the season.

27:37 Drew Did that other guy come back? The guy we would, what was his name, Jonathan?

27:40 Adam No, Jonathan Reed, I think, did not fight in the whatever, whatever, the preliminary stuff.

27:47 Drew Is there going to be a rematch of some type?

27:48 Adam Looks like there is. Why? Well, there were such, the fights were so good. Really? People want a second helping. Boxers always give rematches to their toughest opponents. For me, those would be the ones who made the list of no rematch. Right. You know what I mean?

28:02 Drew Yeah.

28:02 Adam That's like worst vacation. You coming back? No.

28:05 Drew No way.

28:06 Adam No. It sucks. Look at my face. Let's see rematch. You want to see a rematch? Find me a guy knock out in the first round. We got a rematch. Multiple rematches. Actually, we could do one right now. But the guys that do battle with, the wars. No, no. No rematch. That's the way it works. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. That's how I am. I'm a puss. Yeah. Savannah? Seventeen?

28:30 Caller Yeah.

28:31 Adam So speaking of rematches, you did that seven times with the seven different opponents.

28:37 Yeah.

28:39 Adam You have a boyfriend.

28:41 Caller Yeah. But see, we've only been together for a couple, maybe a month or two now. And it's not just him. I've cheated on practically all my boyfriends, and I don't understand why I do it.

28:56 Adam When you say cheat though, what do you mean?

28:57 Drew What does that mean? Yeah.

28:59 Caller Like having sex. Yeah. Yeah.

29:03 Adam I mean, that's not screwing around.

29:06 Caller Yeah.

29:07 Drew Aren't you worried about getting pregnant or disease?

29:10 Caller Yeah, I totally am. And that's the worst part of it because I think about it a lot. Sometimes I feel like a guy, like I have a one-track mind or something. A one-track mind. And then when I get to like to doing it, I don't feel like doing it anymore. But I do anyway.

29:30 Drew Well, that all sounds like sexual abuse to me. Did that happen to you growing up?

29:35 Caller Um, yeah, when I was seven on my birthday.

29:38 Drew All right. Well, there you go. That's what it sounded like. Have you had any treatment for that?

29:42 Caller Yeah, I did. I got a few years of counseling, but it didn't really help.

29:46 Adam On your birthday, by the way. It's a great, that's an awesome birthday.

29:53 Drew Who was it?

29:54 Adam What did you get? Oh, Barbie's Dream Machine? No, something different. Something different this year.

29:58 Drew Who's it make of?

30:00 Adam Getting warm.

30:01 Drew Furby?

30:02 Caller No.

30:04 Adam I want you to meet Uncle Lou. Savannah, who did this to you?

30:09 Caller Mom's boyfriend at the time.

30:10 Drew Your mom's boyfriend. Beautiful.

30:13 Adam Yeah. Well, at least you know your mom was molested. That's the good news.

30:17 Drew That's pretty much a sure thing.

30:19 Adam Yeah. All right.

30:20 Caller I know she was. She's told me about it before.

30:22 Drew Right. That's why she brings the abusive guy into the house.

30:26 Adam Yeah. And by the way, hold on a second. I know I never get tired of kissing my, your, and our collective ass, but, you know, people do this all the time. They always say, you guys always say, you know... People listen to the show, they go like, someone calls in and they say they sprained their ankle, and then Drew says they were molested, and then they say, no, we were or wasn't, and Drew says, yes, you were, and then they say no, and then eventually they just say yes, so they can get to the question about turning their ankle. How do we magically know? It doesn't say anything about her mom being molested.

30:56 Drew It's not her being molested up there. It doesn't say anything.

30:58 Adam No, there's no molestation thing. It's just, I like sex. That's all it says, and especially the mom part. How? It's easy, it's a layup. Why? Humans? All the same. All the same.

31:10 Drew When it comes to extreme things like trauma.

31:11 Adam I'm marginally better than all you, but all you guys, the same. It's all the same. It's the same. Why shouldn't it be? Do our lungs work any differently from person to person? Do the cells work any differently to the veins, to the arteries, mucosal surfaces? Does anything work differently from person to person? No. So when you get molested at seven, it's the same. And we all know what your mom was doing. When she brings home the guy molests you. It's easy, everybody. I don't understand why society or especially the government has no interest in this. Zero interest. Really? It's all you should be interested in.

31:48 Drew Profiling. How dare you?

31:50 Adam Yeah. As a government, that's all you would want to know. It's like, give me all the information. Forget about human beings. Let's just say you went to another planet and you had to figure out how to rule the planet. Like, how do we do this? How do we keep people from not fighting? How do we keep screwed up people from not procreating? How do we keep violent people from that? Just give me all the data. You can find on the Sneetches. I'll just look. I'll figure it all out. Put it in the computer, pal. Oh, there we go. Oh, so we got to get them in the rehab at this age. People that will foster kids. Oh, we got to look at them. We got to watch out because their parents were abusive and they came from this chaos. It'd be so easy to do, but yet, no, not interested. I know it's all Bush ever talks about. By the way, is this some sort of prerequisite as a president or leader of the country that you can have just zero interest in any kind of psychology, that the study of the mind is so taboo that it can't even be brought up, that you just sit there and have to sort of wax poetic about Jesus Christ like a retard, and meeting with clergy and doing all this other sort of BS ritualistic crap that no one else buys. Are we that primitive? Are we that unsophisticated as a society that we'd freak out if a guy said, Yeah, I read a book. I read this book once that Freud wrote, and here's what I learned. Or, you know what? I got a lot of pressure. I go to the shrink once a week. I got official White House shrink. Comes to me though. I don't have to go to his office. Is it taboo or you just got to go pray some more? That's it. Clinton just get a little BJ and go pray on it. Bush go blow up a few people and then go pray on it. Everyone's just going to praying on everything. And you really think they're praying? I don't know. Bush maybe. Clinton, no way. No way.

33:37 Melinda Clarke It certainly makes parenting terr- it should be terrifying to people. You shouldn't go into it lightly.

33:43 Drew Right. You should understand what it is. Absolutely.

33:46 Melinda Clarke It's sort of the hardest job and every day I think I'm doing something wrong and screwing her up.

33:50 Adam Oh yeah. She's probably smoking right now. She's five? Oh yeah. She's lit up. She's doing this thing. She opened the window.

33:59 Caller Lights off shh.

34:00 Adam Lights all over everywhere. Yeah. Yeah. No one ever says that. Savannah?

34:08 Drew Savannah, you were treated for how long?

34:11 Caller For about three years.

34:12 Drew Maybe I get back to that therapist because something's gone awry here.

34:18 Caller I had a few counselors. They weren't really helping me along.

34:23 Drew Well, you need to stay with one person and develop a relationship with that person. But more importantly, you may need separate treatment for sexual addiction because you're heading down that path.

34:30 Adam In the sexual abuse part, I mean, whatever your mom's horrible boyfriend did to you on your seventh birthday is bad. But having your mom raise you is where the lion's share of the damage was done. I mean, your mom's an abuse victim. She passed that on to you, and then she brought home a string of horrible guys, and God knows what biological dad was like. So these things, I mean, it's a collective thing. It's not just the one incident. If you took a super healthy person who came from a nurturing family, abused, had one incident, put them back into therapy, and got them back into school, it might be okay. They probably could shake it off, but this is a whole lifetime worth of stuff for you.

35:08 Drew Dad, I think you've inherited the genetic potential for addiction.

35:11 Adam Well, plus your name is Savannah, which is, it's not even on my list of Crystal, Tammy, and Cammie, it's a super white trash, slutty names, but it transcends the list. It's actually above. It actually doesn't fit on the list. It's that much higher than the list. Do you know what I'm saying? I know it sounds heavy. I couldn't make it on the list because it's like four spaces above the top of the list.

35:35 Drew What is it predicting?

35:37 Adam Savannah. That's just one of those names. First off, let me explain something. Savannah is super white trash mom trying to overcompensate for less than average intelligence.

35:49 Drew No way. Come on now.

35:51 Adam Yes. No. I'm not saying Savannah is, but that's mom.

35:53 Drew But there might have been.

35:54 Adam You got an idiot for a mom.

35:55 Drew No.

35:55 Adam Of course. You've got a mess.

35:56 Drew I can't let you get away with that one.

35:57 Adam Yes. Your mom's a mess, Savannah.

36:01 Caller Yeah. I still see my dad though. I still see my real dad. Everyone's your mom.

36:05 Adam Where's your mom?

36:07 Caller I live with her.

36:08 Drew By the way, there is an option that dad is a good guy and that she couldn't hang with him because he is a good guy.

36:13 Adam What's mom got going now? Is she naughty?

36:17 Caller No. She's kind of dating some guy, I think.

36:21 Drew Stay away from him. Stay away. Something really.

36:24 Caller That's what I plan on. But my dad is a complete asshole. He hits me and stuff.

36:28 Melinda Clarke All right.

36:29 There you go.

36:31 Melinda Clarke I was going to say, sounds like the OC, but that goes beyond.

36:33 Adam As long as you guys are cool.

36:34 Drew It is a little OC-ish, but it's like the real OC. This is what those people would really be doing. But Savannah, go back to your therapist. You're 17. It's hard to get involved in a 12-step program under the age of 18. It's hard to do that work. Though if you're up for it, SA would be a great place for you to go. But get back, connect with that old therapist.

36:51 Adam Stop acting out. That's really going to help you.

36:54 Drew Are you addicted to any chemicals?

36:58 Caller I'm sorry. What did you say?

36:59 Drew Are you addicted to any chemicals?

37:02 Caller I did marijuana for a while, but then it was just got in the way of my school.

37:07 Drew And now it's just speed?

37:09 Adam Nothing.

37:09 Drew Now it's just speed.

37:10 Adam No. Are you into speed? No. Okay. All right. It would be funny if they just spat out a chemical. Isopropyl.

37:20 Drew Toluene.

37:21 Adam Toluene. Benzonite. It would just be funny if they spit out something off the periodical table of whatever. All right. Dylan.

37:33 Caller Hi.

37:33 Adam Oh, Dylan the chick.

37:36 Drew All right.

37:37 Adam You could be on the OC with that kind of name. What's up?

37:46 Caller Well, I have a question.

37:47 Caller But firstly, Adam, I love you. You're so hot.

37:50 Adam Yeah. All right.

37:52 Drew On the heels of that, on the heels of that, what is your question? What is your question?

37:58 Caller Okay. My boyfriend and I have been doing methadone for the past-

38:02 Drew Oh, heroin addict. Okay. Well, go ahead. That's right about. Okay. Okay. You've been doing methadone?

38:09 Caller Yeah.

38:11 Caller He doesn't have sex with me anymore.

38:13 Drew Because he's on methadone.

38:15 Caller Well, yeah. His sex drive has gone down so much.

38:20 Drew Yeah.

38:20 Caller Well, that's a real problem.

38:22 Caller He doesn't like me anymore.

38:23 Drew No. It's methadone.

38:25 Caller All right.

38:26 Adam Hold on.

38:26 Drew Well, presumably you get over 80 milligrams or up to 120. That's when there's no sex drive.

38:30 Adam Oh, really?

38:31 Drew Yeah. That's what methadone does.

38:33 Adam Drew, I bet you could beat like 180.

38:35 Drew I could do it. I could break through.

38:37 Adam Yeah. Drew is so passionate. So, so passionate. Very passionate and sensual. He's a man of great sensuality. You don't hear sensual used as it pertains to the male.

38:50 Drew No. Thank God.

38:52 Adam It's not something you take out. You card out very often. But for Drew, it's very fitting.

38:57 Drew I get that moniker.

38:58 Adam Fitting, yeah. Sensual, passionate, Dr. Drew. There should be a cologne. You should have an essence, a scent.

39:05 Melinda Clarke No, it's a new superhero that helps prostitutes.

39:09 Oh. Yeah.

39:11 Drew Helps the abused in the sex industry.

39:16 Adam Yeah. Dr. Naive.

39:18 Melinda Clarke Comic book.

39:20 Adam Yeah.

39:20 Drew Oh, now this is it. Come on.

39:22 Adam No, no.

39:22 Drew This is going to be a cartoon.

39:23 Adam We will launch that and we'll do it. It'll be a one-two punch. We'll do the new cologne, which is for him, for her, for us, for them. Yes, yes. For it. You dump it on your parts. You know what I mean?

39:38 Drew For them, yes. No, but I think this is a Michael Nairn cartoon.

39:43 Adam All right. Did it make any more of those sense that are for him and for her? To me, it was always like a blouse. It was like a shirt. It's for him. Okay. And for her. I'm like, I don't want it now.

39:55 Yeah. Wait a minute.

39:56 Drew I'm going to get back to the superhero thing. How would I dress? Would I have like a big plume?

40:00 Adam No. You would dress like...

40:02 Drew A fedora?

40:02 Adam Okay. All doctors in cartoons wear lab coats.

40:05 Drew I'd have a lab coat.

40:06 Adam Wherever they are.

40:07 Drew Anesthetoscope.

40:08 Adam Yeah. Slung over the shoulder. Around the neck. Yeah. Because you're a doctor, you just wear lab coat everywhere.

40:14 Melinda Clarke But in the superhero outfit.

40:15 Drew Would that be the superhero outfit or would that be the by day outfit?

40:18 Adam That's the by day outfit.

40:19 Drew Perfect. Then I'd slip into...

40:22 Melinda Clarke Scrubs.

40:22 Drew Scrubs.

40:23 Melinda Clarke Skin tight.

40:26 Adam Yeah. Those aren't revealing enough.

40:28 Melinda Clarke Skin tight scrub.

40:29 Adam We want to see contour. You know what I mean? Of what?

40:34 Melinda Clarke One of those robe things.

40:35 Adam Physique contour. Yeah. What about one of those... Oh, yeah. One of those hospital robes.

40:40 Drew Awesome hospital robes.

40:42 Adam Where your ass crack is showing all the time. Beautiful.

40:44 Drew Yes. Okay.

40:45 Melinda Clarke And clogs.

40:47 Drew And clogs. Nice. I like that. Surgeons wear clogs all the time.

40:49 Adam Surgeons wear clogs. Yeah. What is that?

40:50 Drew I don't know.

40:51 Adam I don't like that.

40:52 Melinda Clarke They're on their feet all day.

40:54 Adam I don't feel like I'm going to get Hep C for my surgeon. You know what I'm saying?

40:58 Drew From strontuloides through his feet?

41:01 Adam No. I'm just talking about the kind of guys who wear clogs. You know what I mean?

41:04 Drew Okay. So now what do I step into?

41:06 Adam Hep C on a good day.

41:07 Drew What do I step into to turn into that robed creature?

41:13 Adam There's a few different. It could be a medical bag. That's a little Felix Academy.

41:20 Drew I like that.

41:21 Adam All right. There's something to that. There's also that curtain where you get changed or something, that weird little room where you get samples, specimens and all that crap. That could be decent, but I don't know. I have it. I have the radiation thing.

41:38 Drew She's got a great idea. I grab the paddles, zap myself and I turn into the guy.

41:43 Adam Like a crash car thing.

41:45 Drew That's a good idea. The paddles around the house. That's better.

41:48 Adam I had it that you were a radiation technician and that you have constant exposure to radiation.

41:57 Melinda Clarke Kind of an incredible Hulk doctor. Adrenaline.

42:01 Drew I get angry. The insurance companies piss me off.

42:04 Adam Oh, yeah.

42:05 Drew The robe comes on.

42:07 Adam Oh, yeah. That's awesome, Drew.

42:09 Drew I go after those insurance guys.

42:11 Adam Let's never do this. Just snapping lawyers' necks like chickens. Awesome. Melinda Clarke is here.

42:19 Drew Wait a minute. What about protecting the prostitutes?

42:22 Adam Oh, yeah. That's part of it, too.

42:24 Drew Okay.

42:25 Adam Yeah. Clean needle program. Yeah.

42:28 Drew Clean the distributing needles.

42:30 Adam Yeah. Condoms.

42:31 Drew Snapping the necks of lawyers, condoms, and prostitutes.

42:34 Adam Yeah. Saving the prostitutes.

42:36 Melinda Clarke The hee-shees.

42:37 Drew The hee-shees.

42:38 Adam Yeah. And the HIV testing, too. Take care. Melinda Clarke here tonight from the OC. We'll take a quick break. Be right back after this.

42:55 Drew This portion of Love Line is sponsored in part by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. Safety Belt Enforcement is not about tickets, it's about saving lives. So remember, click it or ticket. Well, you only can do what you've done.

43:22 Adam You only can do what you've done. If you're lucky, you can go right on track. Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Melinda Clarke's here tonight from the OC. The bewitching Melinda Clarke. Beautiful in this sort of- Evil? No. Hot sorceress kind of way, like what would be on the side of a Mexican's van.

43:49 Melinda Clarke Right.

43:49 Adam You know what I mean? Hot.

43:50 Melinda Clarke So if I look at you long enough, it's sorceress. I'm going to-

43:54 Adam It's sort of- What's your woman?

43:55 Melinda Clarke I think I've played roles like that.

43:57 Adam It suggests like hot sex, but there's trouble. You're going to enjoy yourself for a certain period of time a lot.

44:06 Drew Then you're going to get eaten alive.

44:07 Adam Then something bad is going to happen.

44:08 Melinda Clarke Right. That's exactly what all the moms at school think of me. I'm kidding. There's that sorceress. Well, she did play a warrior god.

44:18 Yeah.

44:19 Adam Yeah.

44:20 Melinda Clarke No, the self-proclaimed goddess of chaos.

44:23 Adam By the way, shocking that our resident lesbian here would know something about Xena Warrior Princess. Has there ever been a lesbian who's watched that show before?

44:32 Drew You're a lesbian.

44:33 Adam True, please. We know.

44:34 Drew It's not a lesbian. How dare you? Are you judging again?

44:37 Adam You cannot judge. It's impossible. But huge Lesbo following Xena. Why not? You know what I mean?

44:45 Drew So what is the appeal?

44:46 Adam It's all there.

44:47 Drew It's sort of the Amazon Warrior fantasy, right?

44:51 Adam What's the fantasy?

44:52 Drew I'm just telling what it is for a guy. What is it for a woman?

44:53 It's a good-looking chick.

44:55 Adam She's wearing a leather tunic.

44:58 Drew But a guy is sort of a role reversal thing a little bit. It's sort of a fantasy.

45:01 Adam No, everyone likes hot.

45:03 Drew Yeah, yeah. I'm just saying the warrior.

45:04 Melinda Clarke It's the leather. It's got to be.

45:06 Drew Yeah. The analysts call it the castrating female complexion. Yeah. That's what the symbol is. That's what the warrior.

45:17 Adam Yeah. Well, see, my thing is to hook up with her and then, surprise, surprise, I'd already been castrated by another female. My mom did that many years ago.

45:27 Drew And your grandma.

45:28 Adam And my grandma. So good luck. Swing away with that sword. You'll find no home for it. Mom, I'm so mad at you.

45:35 I'm so mad at you, mom.

45:38 Adam I told you, Anderson, you can't not leave those mics on during the commercials.

45:45 Drew Samara. She's on six. She's already there. She's already there.

45:48 Adam But someone did a PSA about walking in the sink.

45:50 Drew Put it on hold.

45:51 Adam All right.

45:51 Drew All right.

45:52 They're going to want.

45:52 Adam All right. Tim?

45:55 Yeah.

45:55 Adam You're 25? Yeah.

45:58 Caller Adam, you are the Vicar.

46:01 Adam Thank you.

46:02 Drew Not anymore.

46:02 Adam I'm not the Vicar of Christ anymore. I claimed that mantle when the Pope was gone and we didn't have a new Pope, and I thought Vicar of Christ, that's a nickname I could live with. It's much better than Brillo had.

46:15 Caller You are my hero. Yeah, I did a PSA about peeing in the sink.

46:18 Adam You did a PSA about peeing in the sink.

46:21 Caller I did, because I listen to you complain about these sorry PSAs all the time.

46:25 Adam Right.

46:26 Drew You're 25 years old. Where are you in school?

46:29 Caller Towson. I'm finishing up now.

46:31 Adam Where?

46:32 Drew Sounds like a prison.

46:32 Caller Towson and Maryland.

46:34 Adam Maryland. Okay. All right. Is that a four-year university? Yeah. You did a public service announcement about urinating in the sink.

46:43 Drew Yeah. What was the public service payoff?

46:46 Adam Were you trying to get people to do it or stop doing it?

46:49 Caller I said water conservation.

46:51 Drew Okay.

46:52 Caller My daughter says at the end there, he goes, please do your part. Conserve water. Pee in the sink.

46:59 Adam Yeah. All right. Thanks, Tim. Tim, by the way, I don't know what you're doing in Maryland. You should be out here in Hollywood.

47:05 Caller Oh, man.

47:06 Adam That kind of creative spirit. What do you mean?

47:08 Caller Well, yeah. But that's why I'm saying the best don't go to Hollywood. Where do they go?

47:13 Adam They go to Bethesda.

47:15 Drew Where do they do their own thing?

47:15 Adam Where do they go?

47:17 Caller I'm going to be in Wilmington, North Carolina.

47:19 Melinda Clarke I was going to say North Carolina is really where people are going now.

47:22 Drew Yeah.

47:23 Adam There's all those songs about you haven't made it, you made it in Wilmington.

47:27 Drew You and I have been to Wilmington.

47:28 Melinda Clarke We've been to Wilmington. He's not the first person I've heard that actually.

47:31 Adam About Wilmington?

47:32 Melinda Clarke Going to North Carolina to get into it.

47:35 Adam Sure. No, that's what it is. North Carolina is what the Seattle essentially was to music about 8, 10 years ago. That's the launching pad. Think about all the greats from Wilmington.

47:47 Drew You got Katie Holmes out there.

47:49 Adam Katie Holmes was there for like 10 minutes whilst they're filming and then left immediately.

47:53 Melinda Clarke One Tree Hill is there right now.

47:54 Adam Yeah, they're there but they're split and they're all getting out. All right. Let's take a little break. Melinda Clarke, not from Wilmington, is ironically from the OC, on the OC.

48:04 Drew USS North Carolina is from Wilmington.

48:09 Adam We will take ourselves a break. Yeah, I do. We'll be right back after this. Hey, everybody, it's the Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Melinda Clarke is here tonight. She's the bewitching redhead from the OC.

48:54 Drew And I'm still a little bewitched myself. Did you play a hand in your husband's death?

49:01 Melinda Clarke You know, this is a good question because when I read the script, it has Julie stealing half of his Ambien.

49:10 Drew And putting his drink, but he wouldn't drink it.

49:13 Melinda Clarke And I thought, okay.

49:14 Adam That's a keeper to me. I've got a wife crush up drugs and put them in my drink.

49:17 Melinda Clarke I thought, now, is she actually going to try and kill him? Obviously, you could technically OD or just have him sleep through turning in the divorce papers.

49:27 Right.

49:29 Drew Drew, how many?

49:30 Melinda Clarke She reneged.

49:31 Drew You were so worked up, it looked like it was an attempted murder.

49:34 Melinda Clarke Oh, she was definitely that desperate.

49:36 Adam How many Ambien would it take to knock you down or would it?

49:38 Drew It's hard to die of an Ambien overdose.

49:41 Melinda Clarke That's what I said because I tried.

49:45 Drew Adam can tell you.

49:46 Melinda Clarke I heard a story of a professional athlete who had tried to commit suicide and took over 20, 30 and just woke up a couple of days later.

49:56 Drew Right. It's hard to overdose on that drug, but you could and also you could push him to the pool.

50:01 Melinda Clarke Right. There's all kinds of things that- She definitely did not want to be a murderer. That was the-

50:10 Adam You mean Julie. Julie. Say, talk about your character.

50:13 Melinda Clarke Like it's me?

50:14 Adam I just say Julie when-

50:15 Drew There's Julie.

50:16 Adam Yeah, that's awesome.

50:18 Drew She wouldn't really want to.

50:19 Melinda Clarke No, it's never just Julie. It's Julie Cooper.

50:20 Adam Yeah, Julie Cooper.

50:21 Melinda Clarke Or Julie Cooper Nichol.

50:22 Adam Julie Cooper Nichol would not do that. I do that on this show. Adam would make a fart joke but not a diarrhea joke.

50:30 Drew Masturbation joke but not a diarrhea joke.

50:32 Adam Adam wouldn't make it.

50:33 Drew He wouldn't.

50:35 Adam All right. Let's talk to Samara. Then I want to talk to Rebecca. It doesn't want. Let's see. Samara?

50:46 Caller Yeah.

50:48 Adam You don't want to. I know it's upsetting. You can drink and vote and be eligible for the draft or something. Doesn't want a boyfriend to give you oral sex. Hates it.

51:02 Caller I have a problem with it. Like, I just start to cry.

51:06 Caller Uh-oh.

51:08 Drew What happened?

51:10 Caller Well, I've been in a relationship with them for, like, three years, and we've been, like, sexually active for about a year and a half, and I can't have him give me oral sex. I just start to cry. But it all goes back to, like, when I was young.

51:24 Adam Speak up, Samara.

51:25 Caller Okay. Apparently, there's a rumor in my family that one of my uncles, like, that molested me. But there's no proof.

51:34 Drew Well, the proof is your behavior currently. That sort of fits with that.

51:38 Adam Yeah.

51:39 Caller Yeah. I kind of figured that.

51:41 Adam By the way, there's not usually surveillance footage of people getting molested. You just know you were molested because you got molested.

51:48 Caller But the thing is, I was very young. I think I was like one or two.

51:52 Adam Well, let's just try it. First off, the fact that there are rumors in the family that a other family member molested you means you got a crappy family no matter what, whether there's molestation or not. Yeah.

52:05 Caller Yeah. I knew that.

52:06 Adam We'll try to figure this out. Yes, you're acting like somebody who was molested. You sound, your voice tonally sounds like someone who's molested. What's going on with the rest of your family? Your brothers and sisters?

52:18 Caller I have a younger sister. She's like 10, 11. She's fairly young. But the rest of my family is kind of messed up also.

52:28 Drew All right. So what would you like us to help you with?

52:33 Caller Why is it that I can't have them do that?

52:36 Drew Because it gives you flashbacks, or at least emotional flashbacks to the trauma.

52:42 Caller Even if I don't know, like, like.

52:44 Drew Even if you don't have actual visual memory of it, there's sort of a visceral memory, there's sort of a memory left behind in your body memory, let's say. Because that was before you had organized memories.

52:55 Adam Most, when you say visceral, most our listeners think of that part of the steak that you pull out of your mouth to chew it up, to give it to the dog.

53:05 Drew Gristle. It's tough.

53:06 Adam You can't really eat it.

53:07 Drew Gristle.

53:08 Adam I don't know. I just think they would think of that. I'm going to go with that. Samantha?

53:14 Caller Samara.

53:15 Adam Oh, Samara. Sorry.

53:17 Drew Would you call her Samantha?

53:18 Adam I saw it called Samantha.

53:19 Drew But that's an interesting name.

53:21 Adam Samara. Samantha. Do we need both? Okay. Do you know what visceral means? I knew it. These phones keep coming out.

53:30 Drew They've got to fix these phones.

53:32 Adam All right. Anyway, I don't know if she said yes or no.

53:35 Drew Okay, sure. Yeah.

53:36 Adam All right. What does it mean?

53:38 Caller Excuse me?

53:40 Adam All right. Let's just keep moving on here, Drew. All right. Therapy, baby. Your family's a mess. How about some therapy?

53:46 Drew Or how about just avoiding those things he finds upsetting?

53:48 Adam How about you just let him give you oral sex and you get used to it?

53:52 Caller But I start to cry.

53:53 Adam All right. But eventually you dry up and he's able to-

53:57 Drew Or you avoid that particular action if that's the one that has such a disturbing reaction.

54:03 Melinda Clarke How does he feel about it?

54:05 Caller Yeah, we do. He's understanding. He's pretty understanding.

54:10 Adam Yeah.

54:11 Drew I can just imagine if that were you.

54:12 Adam Yeah. Here's how that conversation would go. Go ahead and start explaining it to me.

54:15 Drew I cried.

54:16 Adam Yeah. Okay. Enough said.

54:18 Drew No, no. Seriously.

54:20 Adam Fine.

54:20 Drew Now move on.

54:20 Adam We'll keep moving.

54:21 Drew But I really want you to be-

54:23 Adam Listen.

54:23 Drew I feel like I'm inadequate again.

54:25 Adam All is forgiven. That's on you, right?

54:34 What?

54:34 Drew That's what? If you do it to me?

54:35 Adam Yeah. I can't do it to you, right?

54:38 Right.

54:38 Drew But she can do it to you.

54:41 Adam Sweetie, sweetie. Come here. Get down.

54:45 Drew Get down.

54:46 Melinda Clarke I was just curious how a rumor is verbalized in a family.

54:53 Adam Word on the street.

54:55 Melinda Clarke Word on the street is.

54:56 Drew Huggy Bear came in one night.

54:58 Adam Samantha. Samara.

54:59 Melinda Clarke Samara.

55:00 Adam I mean Samara. Here's my problem.

55:03 Drew Never heard of Samara before.

55:05 Adam No. Maybe. But here's the thing. I don't care enough. I got to be honest with everybody. I see S-A-M-A and I'm not completing. My brain's just moving on. That's where I just, I'm like, you know, the computer that says, did you mean?

55:20 Caller Yeah.

55:20 Adam When you make up a, like, I go to the closest. That's how, it's really how your brain is. What's the closest to this? And that's why.

55:27 Caller Yep.

55:27 Adam All right.

55:28 Drew Here we go.

55:30 Adam All right. What's your nose?

55:32 Drew Samara. Samara. Yeah.

55:34 Caller Yeah.

55:34 Adam So what do you mean there's a rumor with your family about molestation?

55:39 Caller Basically, I found out about a year and a half ago that my uncle, when he was living with his mother at the house, she kicked him out. And the reason was because he did that.

55:53 Drew Who did he do it to?

55:55 Caller He did it to me. My grandma kicked my uncle out for doing that to me.

55:58 Drew How did they find out? They walked in on him or something?

56:00 Caller I think my grandma did.

56:02 Drew And she didn't have him arrested right at that moment?

56:04 Adam No.

56:06 Caller I don't know.

56:07 Adam Bino White Trash.

56:09 Melinda Clarke Your mother told you this or your grandmother?

56:11 Caller My mother told me my grandma's dead.

56:13 Drew Where were you living? This sounds like something like she was living in a chihuahua.

56:17 Adam Giant shoe. Where were you living?

56:20 Caller I was living with my mom at the time.

56:23 Adam All right. Samara.

56:25 Caller Yeah.

56:26 Adam Here's the thing, baby. Don't have any kids. Can you not have kids?

56:30 Caller No.

56:31 Adam Please, no kids. Secondly, a little therapy wouldn't hurt for the chaos of the family.

56:37 Drew Be careful with who you're attracted to. You're going to be attracted to difficult people.

56:41 Adam And thirdly, look, if there's something you just can't handle.

56:46 Drew Don't do it.

56:47 Adam Or do a bunch of it and see what happens.

56:50 Drew Yeah, but she'll get a post-traumatic stress disorder.

56:52 Adam She will?

56:52 Drew Yeah, yeah.

56:53 Adam I don't know.

56:54 Drew This is a wiring issue. This is not something you can unwire.

57:00 Adam You want to do what that would sound like again if you were telling me that?

57:06 Drew No, no. It's cool.

57:09 Adam Let's watch TV. No pauses. Let's go.

57:13 Drew And when you do that to me, it makes me feel inadequate. I wish I could do it. No, no. Never again.

57:18 Adam Never again. It would be so easy.

57:22 Melinda Clarke So, are victims of abuse manifest in their voice or are they childlike?

57:27 Adam Oh, yes. They sound childlike, yeah.

57:28 Drew They sound like little girls. That's Marilyn Monroe voice. Yeah, it's a little girl voice.

57:31 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

57:32 Melinda Clarke Wow.

57:33 Adam Oh, yeah.

57:34 Melinda Clarke It's kind of deep.

57:34 Adam Think about your girlfriends. Yeah. Think about the crazy ones with the squeaky voice.

57:39 Melinda Clarke And then I'll never look at them.

57:41 Adam Have a couple of wine coolers and start saying, tell me about your stepdad and have him get weird on you. It's fine. Samantha. I mean, Marissa. Wait a minute. Samara. And by the way, it's Samara and Marissa. Are these are these actual names?

57:57 Drew Yes. Marissa. You're on.

58:02 Adam Samantha and Samara. We need a Melissa and a Marissa.

58:05 Drew Marissa, what's up?

58:06 Adam Jesus Christ.

58:07 Drew Speak quick before he goes off about your name.

58:10 Hey, guys.

58:10 Adam What's happened?

58:11 I have a quick question for you.

58:13 Drew Seems to have different voices and something.

58:14 Adam Yeah.

58:15 I'm sorry.

58:16 Caller Go ahead.

58:18 Drew I mean, say Marilyn Monroe was severely sexually abused.

58:20 Melinda Clarke Right.

58:21 Drew And people automatically, their culture said, no, no, accept that as that's a healthy vocal quality for a female. No, no. That's a sign of severe abuse. All right. Marissa, what's up?

58:33 Well, back in February, I was going down on my boyfriend and I dislocated my jaw. And I had to go to the emergency room. And well, several hours later, everything was fine.

58:44 Drew Let me describe to people what that means. The jaw gets locked open.

58:49 Right.

58:49 Drew Yeah. So she's walking in with her mouth wide open. And they have to shoot her with some Versat or something. And the doctor has to go from behind and just snap it back. Wow.

59:01 It's actually like a rubber, like it sort of slides back and they have to push it down.

59:06 Drew Not snap it shut, it's pushed it back into position.

59:08 Adam But that doesn't damage the penis at all?

59:10 Drew The penis.

59:11 Adam Or she finished by then.

59:12 Drew First you excise the penis.

59:15 Adam Huh?

59:15 Drew Yeah. You move the penis.

59:17 Adam Okay. All right. Well, all right. So did this interrupt the BJ?

59:24 Caller Did I what?

59:25 Adam Did this, did you, did, did this interrupt the BJ? Did the guy finish?

59:29 Caller Um, no. Obviously not.

59:31 Drew Oh, now it's a tragedy, right?

59:32 Adam Yeah. Well, now there's, there's multiple victims there. It's not just.

59:36 Caller I know, I know. We lose the situation.

59:39 Adam All right. So you actually had to go to the hospital.

59:42 Caller Yeah.

59:42 I went to the emergency room and $3,000 later, it was all good.

59:47 Adam Yeah. Now let me just explain the difference between man and woman.

59:49 Drew Melinda had a question about it first.

59:51 Adam I got a question, I got something to say first.

59:52 Drew Well, she has a question first, real quick.

59:53 Adam I got something to say.

59:54 Drew All right, you say it.

59:55 Adam My thing is, a man would not go to the emergency room for this. He would shut his own jaw. He would not do it and neither would his buddy. If these were guys, you got to be like, no, I'll get it shut.

1:00:06 Drew Right.

1:00:06 Caller I'm not going to spend $3,000.

1:00:08 Drew There was a famous story at the county hospital I worked, was a guy that got priapism.

1:00:12 Adam Penis.

1:00:12 Drew Yes. Penis got hard and painful and wouldn't go down. Same thing, the woman's going to go to the emergency room, go to the emergency room, he won't do it, he won't do it. He started smacking, trying to do it. He finally just closed in the window and ruptured it.

1:00:23 Adam No. Slammed it in the window.

1:00:26 Melinda Clarke Those urban legends.

1:00:27 Drew Probably. I had another guy who actually also fractured his penis. I interviewed this guy and again, they heard this huge snap while they were having sex because he pulled out. She was like, oh my God, you got to go to the emergency room and he was like, no, no, no, until.

1:00:43 Adam Blew up.

1:00:44 Drew Yeah.

1:00:44 Adam All right. Now, that's not an urban legend, the window may be.

1:00:48 Drew That's when he runs into the emergency room.

1:00:49 Adam All right, Melinda, I'm sorry, you had a question.

1:00:51 Melinda Clarke No, no, I was just. For her, for her.

1:00:53 Drew Oh, for her.

1:00:54 Adam Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead.

1:00:56 Drew Marissa? Yes. Julie Cooper from the OC has a question.

1:01:00 Melinda Clarke Yeah. I was just curious if he's quite endowed.

1:01:05 Caller Yeah.

1:01:06 Melinda Clarke Okay. There you go.

1:01:07 Adam Hate this guy.

1:01:08 Caller I mean, I think so.

1:01:10 Adam I could get mine caught between Madonna's Gap and him and him.

1:01:16 Drew You think so, Marissa?

1:01:18 Caller Well, I don't know.

1:01:20 Drew You broke your jaw on him.

1:01:22 Adam Wow.

1:01:23 Drew You're not in a position to make that assessment?

1:01:25 Adam It's really, this is up there with killing a man with your hands, like in the ring. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's one of these titles that no one feels great about, but there's a certain amount of pride, like as a guy. You just love this. What got you out of boxing? Killed a man in the ring. You know what I mean?

1:01:42 Drew With my hand.

1:01:43 Adam Yeah.

1:01:43 Drew Let's see if she destroyed a woman's jaw.

1:01:45 Melinda Clarke So now she's scared.

1:01:45 Drew Well, let's see if this guy has caused any other trouble.

1:01:48 Adam Uh-oh.

1:01:50 Drew Has he ever done this to somebody before?

1:01:52 No. No, actually, I don't.

1:01:54 Drew You sure you didn't just go, oh, here we go, got to get some reset, let's go.

1:01:58 Adam I'm sorry? This didn't happen. He didn't yell, like, not this again and then go for his kit.

1:02:04 Melinda Clarke Are you afraid to do this now?

1:02:07 Caller I'm sorry, what?

1:02:08 Melinda Clarke Are you still with this guy?

1:02:10 Caller No, actually, we just broke up.

1:02:12 Adam Oh, really?

1:02:13 Yeah.

1:02:13 Drew Are you afraid to reenter that ring?

1:02:17 Yes. I mean, I haven't done it since. I pretty much have full range of motion in my jaw again, but I'm wondering, am I going to be more susceptible now to dislocating my jaw?

1:02:29 Drew If for no other reason, you know this could happen.

1:02:31 Adam All right. And please do not share this with the next guy, next Mr. Neural. Yeah. This is like-

1:02:39 I wasn't planning on it.

1:02:40 Adam Because it will come out at some point and then the poor guy is going to be like talking to one of his friends, and be like, yeah, Marissa won't perform or what happened? She was molested. Worse, worse, much worse. What happened? My old boyfriend was so endowed, so girthy, hung like a paint can. That tries she might to perform oral on him. Eventually had to just be rushed to the hospital.

1:03:06 Drew Painful thing, just to think about the jaws of dislocation.

1:03:09 Adam Yeah, yeah, awesome. Hi, Drew. I want to, oh, fetish, bad, starting. Rebecca. I just want to talk to Rebecca for a second. Rebecca?

1:03:20 Caller Yes, hello.

1:03:21 Adam Hello, you're 18?

1:03:23 Caller Yes. You started? I have a problem.

1:03:25 Adam All right.

1:03:26 Caller I think that, well, actually, I'm not really in love with this guy, but I've been with this guy that's 32 since I was 14 and I'm 18 now. But I got with him when he was 28.

1:03:38 Adam Oh, 14 and 28?

1:03:41 Drew It's just nothing.

1:03:42 Adam It was a different time. It was 2003, something like that.

1:03:47 Drew Rebecca, now what? You're gaining some insight into how creepy and disturbed it is that a guy that age would be with a 14-year-old?

1:03:53 Caller Yeah. But see, the thing in my life, it's that like, oh my god, I can't believe I'm on Love Live, but-

1:04:00 Drew Well, thanks for bringing that up.

1:04:03 Caller The people in my life, they all knew that I was with him, but nobody really cared. Like even my mom knew.

1:04:09 Adam Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Listen, I've been wrong the last 10 or 12 times, I've shouted this out, but I can tell a Jew. I know, I know this is a Jewish family. Absolutely, 100%. I've been wrong.

1:04:25 Drew 14-year-old, 28-year-old guy? Yeah.

1:04:28 Adam Parents know about it. Rebecca.

1:04:31 Drew Was one of the possibility too.

1:04:32 Adam Asian. You're Jewish or Asian?

1:04:35 Caller I'm white.

1:04:36 Adam I can't believe it. No one in your family is Jewish.

1:04:40 Caller Nope.

1:04:41 Adam I don't believe it, Drew. I can't believe it. My instincts are usually pretty good about everything else, but my have to be either Jewish or Asian thing, pow. I'm like over 25 on that. I cannot believe it. Man. All right. Well, see, just goes to show you the stereotypes. Yeah. They're not right at all. Rebecca.

1:05:06 Caller Uh-huh.

1:05:08 Adam Drew, you ever feel like we're just doing our own little radio show for us and no one else knows what we're talking about?

1:05:12 Drew 90 percent of the time.

1:05:12 Adam Including people who work for the show. 90? That seems like a low estimate. All right. So, Rebecca, not Jewish.

1:05:21 Caller Nope.

1:05:22 Man.

1:05:24 Drew All right. So, what's the question?

1:05:27 Caller How do I get over this guy? Because I still like him because I've been with him for about four years.

1:05:33 Drew Well, this is like any other 14 to 18 year relationship. You don't know how to be over him.

1:05:36 Adam You were not together with him currently?

1:05:38 Caller No. I left him. Oh, good. We used to fight a lot and it got pretty abusive. I would hit him, but then he would end up kicking my ass.

1:05:49 Adam Oh, God. Not a Jew. Not Jewish. I just can... Drew, I got to call her a liar. I'm calling her a liar. When I hear about the physical violence, when I hear about the huge age separation and the parents condoning it, I just know what I know.

1:06:09 Melinda Clarke I have a question. What kind of parents let their kids with Michael Jackson?

1:06:12 Adam Jews.

1:06:13 Melinda Clarke Jews.

1:06:14 Adam All Jews. Drew, am I right? They're all Jewish.

1:06:18 Melinda Clarke Right.

1:06:18 Adam All of them. They have a family that's on trial right now. All Jews. Or Asian. It's Jew or Asian. It's always Jew or Asian. Physical violence, it's Jew.

1:06:29 Drew Substance abuse, Asian. Even those parents were supplanted by Rebecca's mom.

1:06:34 Adam All right. So, yeah. Horrible parenting, by the way, Rebecca. Where's your dad?

1:06:41 Caller He's at work right now.

1:06:43 Adam Where's he work?

1:06:44 Caller He works at some company in Hollywood called Complete Post.

1:06:48 Adam Oh. In the business, doing a little graveyard post work.

1:06:53 Caller Yeah. I think you know my aunt, by the way.

1:06:55 Adam Oh, yeah?

1:06:56 Drew Well, that's embarrassing by bringing that up.

1:06:57 Adam Go ahead. Tell me her name.

1:06:58 Drew Oh, no.

1:06:58 Caller Her name's Bonnie Hill.

1:07:01 Drew Block that out, Anderson. Really?

1:07:03 Adam Why do we know that?

1:07:04 Drew I don't know.

1:07:06 Adam I don't know. She wanted me to know.

1:07:08 Drew Remember the guy, the professor that end up being a librarian? I mean, your guy with the beanbag chair end up being a librarian?

1:07:14 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:07:15 Drew Yeah. That was a good experience, was it?

1:07:16 Adam No, but I don't even know who she's talking about. All right. Anyway, we're dear friends, me and your aunt. Oh, yeah. Anyway, Rebecca, this is a good thing. This guy got to you way too early. This is abuse, obviously.

1:07:30 Melinda Clarke You've left him, good thing.

1:07:32 Adam Good thing. Now, the healing shall begin.

1:07:35 Drew Yeah. Give it some time, dates people your own age. I wouldn't say necessarily anything has to be on at this point, but any relationship between a 14-18 year old, from 14 to 18 is difficult to get over. It just always is. That's all you've ever known. You don't know how to end these things, you don't know how to assess it, you don't know who you are in a relationship. Start dating other people and just be very careful. Realize you're going to be drawn to abusive guys because this guy is really set you up.

1:07:57 Adam I can't spur bank. I'm just trying one thing. Just quick. Just let me do this thing. Did you enjoy your bat mitzvah? Let her answer.

1:08:07 Caller Bat mitzvah? I don't even know what that is.

1:08:11 Drew I don't buy it.

1:08:13 Adam I just thought I could trick her. I said bat mitzvah by the way. But I thought I could trick her. Drew, I guess once in a while I'm wrong. You know what I mean?

1:08:23 Drew It's hard to believe.

1:08:23 Adam It's hard to believe. It's just hard to believe. Let's say hi to Ashley, who's 21. Ashley?

1:08:31 Drew Hi.

1:08:32 Caller How are you?

1:08:32 Adam What's happening?

1:08:34 Caller Nothing actually.

1:08:35 I'm really glad that I got through tonight. I've actually been a long time fan since I was 12, 13. I actually called in when I was 13 and I sang with Destiny's Child on your show before. It was so exciting.

1:08:46 Adam You sung Say My Name?

1:08:48 Yeah.

1:08:48 Drew You remember that? There it is.

1:08:58 Adam Hold on, hold on.

1:08:59 Caller Anderson, stop it for a second.

1:09:00 Adam Ashley, shut your pie hole so you can hear you singing with Destiny's Child.

1:09:05 Caller You know what? That's her singing on actual and talking on actual.

1:09:08 Adam Oh, she's talking on the thing? I was yelling at a 13-year-old Ashley?

1:09:12 Caller Yes.

1:09:13 Adam I thought she was singing with her though. Didn't she say she sang with her?

1:09:17 Caller Oh my God, I can't believe this.

1:09:18 Adam Oh, that's her. It is her.

1:09:24 Drew Same voice. Yeah. There she is again.

1:09:36 Adam She's doing it.

1:09:37 Drew It's somehow satisfying that after eight years you finally got a chance to yell at her for doing that.

1:09:41 Adam I didn't want to yell at you at 13. I probably did. I can't believe there's my voice. I must be on a third track yelling at you.

1:09:47 Oh, it's totally okay.

1:09:48 Adam I love you guys. Wow. I do remember that. Destiny's Child came in here. We met them at the Teen Choice Awards. They were very young, fresh, young, fresh-faced gals. They came running up to us. They said they were dying to do the show. We said the radio show, and they said, What radio show? We want to be on MTV. Right. Right. We're like, well, you can do the radio show. And they came in, and they were sweethearts, and they were singing their ass off. Yeah?

1:10:15 Caller Yeah.

1:10:15 And at the very end, I came in and sang, and I knew the words, and they were all amazed.

1:10:19 Caller Like, wow, how do you know the words?

1:10:21 Adam Yeah. Anderson didn't keep that part of the call because it was flattering.

1:10:26 That is awesome.

1:10:27 Drew So what's up tonight?

1:10:28 Adam Wow. That's enough.

1:10:29 Drew Hold on. No, no, come on.

1:10:30 Adam We got to take a break. All right. Wow. She was 13 when Destiny's Child was in here?

1:10:37 Drew Is that what she said?

1:10:38 Adam She said she was 13.

1:10:39 Drew I blocked that part out.

1:10:40 Adam Eight years ago.

1:10:41 Drew I don't want to hear it.

1:10:41 Adam Could have been eight years ago.

1:10:43 Drew 96.

1:10:44 Melinda Clarke Yeah, that's when MTV was.

1:10:47 Adam Ashley?

1:10:48 I was actually 16 when I started.

1:10:51 Drew Much better. Shoot, five years ago.

1:10:53 Adam Okay.

1:10:53 Yeah, it was five years ago.

1:10:54 Adam Okay.

1:10:55 Caller All right.

1:10:55 I'll hold on.

1:10:56 Caller I don't care.

1:10:56 Adam All right. You have no choice. Here's the other thing too. It's weird too because she didn't sound 13, she sounded like her now.

1:11:04 Drew Right. Same voice.

1:11:05 Adam She came into puberty or something like that.

1:11:09 Caller Adam Corolla.

1:11:13 Adam Yeah, let's play like we're in the pool.

1:11:16 Caller Shut up.

1:11:17 Adam You're it.

1:11:18 Drew Let's take a break.

1:11:18 Adam No, Michelle said it.

1:11:20 Drew Close your eyes.

1:11:21 Adam Shut up.

1:11:23 Adam Corolla. Shut up.

1:11:26 Melinda Clarke Adam's house is waiting in the-

1:11:27 Caller Oh, yeah. She got it.

1:11:29 Adam Yeah. Melinda Clarke is here tonight from the OC. That's how she does it in OC. Take yourselves a- they play Adam Corolla instead of Marco Polis. That's how they do it in the OC. Take a quick break.

1:11:41 Drew Montage all you hear.

1:11:41 Adam We'll be right back with Ashley after this.

1:11:45 Caller Thank you for calling Loveline. Your call will be answered in the order it seems interesting. Call Loveline.

1:11:54 Drew This portion of Loveline is sponsored in part by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. Safety Belt Enforcement is not about tickets. It's about saving lives. So remember, click it or ticket.

1:12:06 Caller I'm so hungover.

1:12:07 Melinda Clarke My head's pounding.

1:12:08 Caller You've got to be at work in an hour.

1:12:10 Caller You didn't even drink that much.

1:12:12 Caller I'll just turn down the ISDN, right?

1:12:15 Caller No, no, no.

1:12:16 Caller Leave that up.

1:12:16 Adam Well, maybe it took them a little while to come in.

1:12:18 Caller Just leave them. Put them on.

1:12:19 Drew I'm hungry. They came in right away.

1:12:21 Caller Next week.

1:12:22 Adam Two seconds, guys. They're sweet, though.

1:12:24 Caller All right.

1:12:24 Drew What are we doing?

1:12:26 Adam Hold on.

1:12:27 Caller Give me two seconds.

1:12:28 Adam You know, I remember the Teen Choice Awards. They were like, you're going to present the Woody for blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, they give me the surfboard. Yeah, this is the Woody. Woody's a station wagon that the surfers would carry the surfboards in. But the surfboard, that's not a Woody. The car's a Woody. And they were like, just do it. I've had that conversation about 300 times with various parts of life. I went and they went, OK, just do it with you.

1:13:02 Caller All right, guys, you're about to hear an old open. And just do it and say best of blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

1:13:06 Drew Who's it? No, don't worry about who the guests are.

1:13:08 Caller Oh, I know, because it's not K-Rock's not running, so. We're doing no guests. That's of no guest. Which is actually the best.

1:13:14 Caller Yeah.

1:13:15 Caller It's that first night.

1:13:18 Adam Yeah.

1:13:24 Caller A listener discretion is advised.

1:13:26 Caller Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:13:29 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. Nay, the best of Loveline and Adam Corolla. Yay, yeah, nay, nay, not live, but yay, we're not here.

1:13:38 Drew Yeah, well, yay for the listeners, too. It's the best of the best of.

1:13:40 Adam Yeah, it's the best of. You guys were stoned the first time you heard this, if you heard it at all.

1:13:45 Drew That's right. It's your chance to catch up.

1:13:46 Adam Yeah. I saw some recent Loveline data, some polling data that suggested time spent listening, less than four seconds a week.

1:13:56 Drew How dare they?

1:13:57 Adam This is a real good chance.

1:13:58 Drew We've just rerun the last four years.

1:14:00 Adam Yeah, it's a real good chance that people are hearing this for the first time. Or like I said, they're so stoned they couldn't remember it. So this is the Best of Loveline. Do not bother calling in. Drew and I are probably barbecuing right now. We'll enjoy our little time off and you enjoy the Best of Loveline.

1:14:21 Caller All right, now here comes the close. This is the fastest show you guys could do all year.

1:14:28 Caller Yeah, love that. Are you going to Hoag?

1:14:36 Caller Two, we got a minute and a half.

1:14:41 Adam Wow. Awesome, Drew.

1:14:43 Drew It's a great show.

1:14:43 Adam Where does the time go?

1:14:44 Drew Well done, Adam. You were right at the cry. Yeah, you really all the time.

1:14:49 Adam No, right back at you.

1:14:50 Drew Thank you.

1:14:51 Adam Right back at you. I'm staring in a mirror right now. I'm saying that.

1:14:54 Drew Doing what?

1:14:55 Adam Yelling right back at you. That's why I do that every night. I just stare in a mirror, nude, and I yell, right back at you.

1:14:59 Drew And then you pose down.

1:15:00 Adam Right back at you. Right back at you. All right. That was the best of Loveline. God bless you for listening. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew's saying, Mahalo.

1:15:11 Drew Born at Hoager. Thanks, guys.

1:15:13 Adam Thank you.

1:15:14 Drew Upland?

1:15:37 Adam Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Just watching the TV through the window in the other studio.

1:15:47 Drew Oh, there it is.

1:15:47 Adam Yeah. It's my favorite commercial. Melinda Clarke is here tonight from the OC.

1:15:53 Caller You want to describe what that favorite commercial is?

1:15:56 Adam I'm obsessed with these commercials. It started many years ago with all these sort of disclosures on the Do Not Attempt Closed. Yeah, well, that one, that's one thing. But all the automobile ones where they can't show a guy driving down a street without saying, a professional driver do not attempt closed course. Some of the stuff isn't stunt driving. It's just actually driving a car. You can't do.

1:16:20 Drew And some of it is as far the other way.

1:16:22 Caller It's just computer generated.

1:16:23 Adam And then there's the Toyota Tundra one where the guy is actually jumping his Tundra over like 40 buses towing a ski boat in the air six stories. And it says, not an actual representation of Tundra towing capacity. And then it says closed course and then says do not attempt. And I just realized effing attorneys. God damn it. They just they screw with everybody all the time. There's nothing in our society that they don't put their stink on.

1:16:52 Melinda Clarke They're kind of motivated by these silly fraternity pranks.

1:16:56 Adam They're, yeah, well, people are stupid and do stupid things. In Europe, they're called idiots or victims or whatever you want to call them.

1:17:05 Drew Stupid.

1:17:07 Adam Here they're millionaires because they sue their way. Because they saw something done in a movie and they tried it themselves.

1:17:13 Drew Now this particular commercial.

1:17:14 Adam This particular commercial is a Subaru commercial. It's a new Subaru commercial where they're touting the excellence of the all-wheel drive Subaru. And they're showing other cars driving down the street, front wheel or rear wheel drive, just either the rear wheel ones actually doing sort of a wheelie all the way down the street and the front wheel ones basically all the way to the car on the front or on the rear and the back off the ground 10 feet. And then it says, do not attempt. As if that was a possibility. Is there a possibility? When you saw the movie Fantasia, did they have a disclosure, do not attempt to summon mops?

1:17:54 Drew Well, they've got to have that now on movies too, of course.

1:17:56 Adam Yeah, yeah.

1:17:57 Melinda Clarke Press Kirby the love bug.

1:17:58 Drew Oh, do not attempt.

1:17:59 Adam Do not attempt.

1:18:00 Drew Do not talk to your car.

1:18:01 Adam Do not attempt to wheelie your car down the street. Do not attempt to drive on the front wheel solely of the car.

1:18:07 Drew Do not attempt to sit in the back seat and have your car drive you where you need to go. On a race course.

1:18:13 Adam That's right. And I just realized lawyers and you guys don't even realize it just destroying everything from having to drink out of a paper cup to you know that great big yellow iron on on the visor of your nice car that tells you about the airbag safety and all that crap. I tried to get one off with a heat gun and actually burnt a hole in my visor the other day. It went insane.

1:18:35 Caller Which car?

1:18:37 Adam BMW. I want to kill these sons of bitches. People, they've invaded our lives with their crappy disclaimers, do not attempt and all this everywhere. Can't we rise up? What can we do? I would love it if Subaru said, are you high? We're not putting that on this thing because it's physically impossible even really to attempt it. Like if you were going to attempt to drive your car like it was a wheelie van from the 1970s, what would you do? Pop the clutch, install it or peel out a little bit? How would you attempt to get the front wheels off? It is physically, mathematically impossible for you to do it in any commercial vehicle. There's no 500 horsepower Ferrari that could even get the front wheels an eighth of an inch off the ground. Impossible. Does not work. So why do you have to put a disclaimer against the impossible? How about somebody standing up and going, hey, pencil pushers, you geeks, you're high. We're not doing it. How about that?

1:19:38 Drew That's the point is if the companies had some way vows, they could not do it. They don't have to. No law that says they have to do it.

1:19:44 Adam How about Subaru says, no, no warranty. We're doing a nice commercial. No disclaimer. We're doing a nice commercial here. We don't want to screw it up with this distracting white lettering, and we're not going to do it. By the way, if someone tries to pop a wheelie in their car and sues us, they're going to lose.

1:20:01 Drew You know, it's symptomatic if there's something that's happened throughout our society, is we don't have any way votes about anything.

1:20:06 Adam No.

1:20:07 Drew The FCC thing now, with all the cable stations, is a very similar thing.

1:20:10 Adam Nobody's got... I'll tell you something. Whenever they have, like, they would do it over a Kimmel once in a while. Every year, if you're in any kind of production, you work anywhere with more than, like, four and a half people. You have to have these sexual harassment sensitivity meetings, where everyone's got to stop work for two hours and then go sit in some big room while some frigid bitch who had never gotten laid a day in her life talks about what, and asks adults, can anyone tell me what sex, oh, shut up! You'll know when you're being sexually harassed and you'll take care of that person. Do we all have to stop work and have a meeting? And what do we need to learn as, you know, 40-year-old adults? What? Sexual harassment? What is this? Yeah, yeah, no, a chick walked, you know, a secretary. She asked for it. She was asking for it. I was just playing when I pulled her skirt up over her head and she started spanking her in the conference room. Really? There's a law against this? Here's all I'm saying. Everybody. Here's what everyone needs to do. I do it. I want you all to do it too. Stand up. Stand up. Next time your business says there's a mandatory sexual harassment, now, I'm not going. And here's why I'm not going. You need to prove there's a reason I need to go to this meeting. I need to have some priors. There needs to be something in my past that would suggest that I'm dangerous and liable to sexually harass. I have a clean record, I'm a good employee, and no, I'm not going to stop work and go attend this meeting because a handful of idiot lawyers want us to do it. No, let's all not go. And if you all don't go, then what? They fire everybody? No, they don't fire everyone. They get over it and they move forward. Just don't go. Just have everybody on the floor go, no, we're not doing it.

1:21:49 Drew And then turn left on the green arrow, the red arrow.

1:21:52 Adam And let me say this too. And here's, I believe you could win this stuff, which is, there's a mandatory sexual harassment meeting. Okay, I'm a married man who has zero history of sexual harassment, hypothetically. I'm not talking about me.

1:22:06 Drew No.

1:22:06 Adam I'm talking about one.

1:22:06 Drew Yeah, you were, you were. Let's talk about a guy who didn't have any.

1:22:09 Adam Let's say I was. Okay, now I'm not going to the meeting because I'm a born-again Christian who's been married for 18 years and I've only been with one woman, I've never so much looked at her, I'm not going to go to this meeting. We're going to fire you. To me, that's a lawsuit. Do you see what I'm saying?

1:22:26 Drew Of course it should be.

1:22:27 Adam That should be a lawsuit. You firing me because I'm not going to your crappy sexual harassment meeting about nothing. There's no, it's not relevant because I have no history of this. Let's all just stand up. Everyone just stand up. Don't do it. I wouldn't go to Kimmel's ones. I wouldn't go to the Man Show ones. I won't go to them. Just don't go to them. Just everybody don't go. What do you think they're going to do? Fire everyone in the company? No. They'll just say they did it and move forward. That'll be it. We get our dignity. It's that way with everything. We can do it. It happens all the time. I own a warehouse. I let the guy out of the lease like a year early. He wanted me to sign a paper. I said, no, I'm giving him my word, you can leave. When you're ready to leave, go ahead and leave. He needed documentation. I wouldn't sue him or I wouldn't whatever. I said, no, I'm not going to give it to you. You want to get out? Get out. I'm not signing anything. You have to take my word for it. And he left and who cares? We could all do that. We all don't have to go running to the lawyer and get the stuff drafted up all the time. There's something called dignity. We could all have dignity. It'd be awesome. But we got a handful of a-holes effing it up for all of us.

1:23:36 Drew Well, they have their rights. How dare you? They have rights.

1:23:38 Adam We need to crush them. We need to crush them like roaches. You understand? There's 1% of society that's effing it up for all of us. And instead of crushing that 1%, we all just go ahead and conform. All right, all you guys who've never sexually harassed and never dreamt of it, we're going to a meeting. Put your pencils down. We're gonna kill two hours in the middle of the day. Think about what that is times productivity times all the workforce in this country. All the big corporations. Oh, Pepsi. Oh yeah, Pepsi, you got-

1:24:07 Drew How about the money they spend setting it all up?

1:24:09 Adam Pepsi, you got a million people you employ. What's it cost Pepsi? What's it cost GM? What's it cost Ford? What's it cost Sony? What's it cost any large company? Just sexual harassment every year? That's a couple million bucks.

1:24:22 Melinda Clarke Well, it seems like it was corporate America that really started pushing this, but even small businesses now.

1:24:27 Adam I know. It's ridiculous.

1:24:29 Melinda Clarke Please. But we live in a society of assignment of blame. There's no such thing as an accident, and we can't have closure until somebody pays for an accident.

1:24:38 Adam Let's all drive through those godforsaken red left turn arrows that don't do anything in the middle of the night. Let's not go to the sexual harassment meetings. And if you own a company and they want you to put a disclaimer, says do not do a wheelie in your Ford Taurus, don't put it on there. Let's just not do it. Let's see what happens. I bet magically a lot of it goes away. And listen, that part where you're going to get fired if you don't go to the thing? Don't go to the thing. You're not going to get fired. They just say that. You think they're really going to fire an employee because he didn't attend that meeting? Absolutely not. And by the way, there would be a lawsuit. Of course. I never went to those. Don't do it. Everyone just stand up. Just stand up with me and don't do it. All right.

1:25:19 Drew Take a break. No, no. Let's take a break. Let's take a break. Take a call. Quick.

1:25:22 Adam True learning college that fetishes aren't bad.

1:25:24 Drew Well, Ashley's the singer with Destiny's Child.

1:25:26 Adam Oh.

1:25:27 Caller So Ashley.

1:25:28 Drew We're still waiting for her.

1:25:29 Adam Sorry, babe.

1:25:29 Drew All right. Here you go.

1:25:31 It's totally OK. OK. I actually had a question kind of for Dr. Drew, but I'd like to hear what Adam has to say to it.

1:25:36 Adam Yeah, I'm not used to public speaking.

1:25:39 I've been listening to the show for a long time, and I've noticed that in the patterns of when you're talking about sexual behaviors and the way people prefer things in their bedroom and stuff, I was taking a human sexualities class where we learned about paraphilias and both coercive and non-coercive. And I noticed how you guys are really, really...

1:25:59 Adam What does she call it?

1:26:00 Drew Coercive and non-coercive.

1:26:02 Adam Coercive.

1:26:02 Drew That's an old name, paraphilia.

1:26:04 Adam What is that?

1:26:04 Isn't that what it's called?

1:26:05 Caller Is that what it's called?

1:26:06 Drew There's different diagnostic categories now, but that's what they used to call it.

1:26:09 Adam They used to call it what?

1:26:10 Well, yeah.

1:26:11 Drew Abnormal sexual behaviors.

1:26:12 Adam Oh, okay.

1:26:13 Caller And they're considered abnormal, right?

1:26:15 Now, for some reason, I've noticed you pretty much... You drew both associate of some sort of abuse with those behaviors, correct?

1:26:25 Drew With pedophilia, yes.

1:26:28 With pedophilia, but not with any paraphilia period, any kind of sexual preference.

1:26:33 Drew No, no, no. We talk about... I mean, this is pretty well established, that fetishes and that kind of paraphilia are some sort of attempt to deal with overwhelming emotion, and it's a distraction to deal with heavy feelings in the setting of intimacy. What we're saying is maybe something happened to you that you needed to distract your attention with this, or it's just part of the construct of your relationship with your parents. It sort of wasn't quite what you needed to continue a healthy development.

1:27:02 Adam All right, so it doesn't need to be wholesale abuse, but there's usually something you could trace it back to when the guy wants to beat off on the chicks' hats.

1:27:09 Drew And God knows they're gonna find genetic correlates with this. The chicks wear hats anymore? Everything with human behavior has a genetic element and an environmental element.

1:27:17 Adam Melinda, why don't you wear a hat anymore?

1:27:19 Drew Anymore?

1:27:20 Adam Well, women used to wear hats, you know?

1:27:22 Melinda Clarke I do, actually.

1:27:22 Adam You do? Yeah. Where is it?

1:27:25 Melinda Clarke Well, during the day, sun.

1:27:27 Adam Okay.

1:27:28 All right.

1:27:28 Adam Not the same. I want a bonnet.

1:27:30 Is it okay or healthy to like, for women to like things, like being dominated, like being spanked or...

1:27:38 Drew Well, a little...

1:27:40 Adam A little rough trade is true, calls it off the air. Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

1:27:44 Drew Fetish means you have to do this thing in order to function sexually. And when people start going down the fetish path, usually, because it was originally designed to distract from intimacy, lo and behold, it does that in your adult life, too. It takes you away from the intimacy so you can tolerate being sexual, but it ends up being something that ultimately becomes a preoccupation in sex and moves you away from the intimate encounter. So if you're going down that path and you can control it, you should, because it becomes a compulsion eventually. If you can't function without it, you might want to look into it.

1:28:17 Adam Melinda.

1:28:17 Melinda Clarke Fetish, Ashley?

1:28:21 Adam Most women like a little tamp on the ass once in a while. Yes?

1:28:26 Drew Not Melinda. How dare you? How dare you?

1:28:28 Adam No. Just a little tug on the hair.

1:28:35 Melinda Clarke Yeah.

1:28:36 Adam Oh, yeah. No, no. Ashley?

1:28:39 Well, thank you so much.

1:28:40 Melinda Clarke She's running away.

1:28:41 Adam Do you have any fetishes?

1:28:44 Well, yeah. What I mentioned, of course, a little tug on the hair, a little little tap. Yeah. They're nice, but nothing that I need.

1:28:54 Drew Here's what does happen. If you need heavy physical arousal, like some aggressive acting out, that is a sign that you were physically abused in childhood. That is one of the things that happens when people are physically made.

1:29:05 Adam No. Yeah. We're talking about punching somebody, not what I do when I hit one of my bitches with a slipper.

1:29:12 Drew A slipper.

1:29:14 Adam Yeah.

1:29:14 Drew Dude, that's gay.

1:29:15 Adam Whiffle bat. That's my move. He's a whiffle bat. A slipper. It's sort of what the whip and the pistol is to the lion tamer. Yeah. That's what I am in the bed. A slipper. Whiffle bat. A little sparkles on it.

1:29:26 Melinda Clarke I'm going to go home now. My husband's. Oh, yeah.

1:29:29 Adam Get the slipper, buddy. We will, and not the fluffy bunny side of the slipper, but the tread part, the business end of the slipper.

1:29:38 Melinda Clarke The non-skid.

1:29:39 Adam The non-skid part of the slipper. That's the business end.

1:29:41 Drew The working end, yeah.

1:29:42 Adam Yeah. We'll take ourselves a little break. Melinda Clarke here from the OC. Yeah. We'll be right back after this. Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew Pepto. Melinda Clarke is our guest tonight from the OC. Hey, hey. Found out that Melinda's mom's a ballerina and dad's a soap star. So jealous.

1:30:45 Melinda Clarke He did the pilot of Days of Our Lives in 1966.

1:30:50 Drew Wow.

1:30:50 Melinda Clarke He retired. He got tired of the drive from Orange County.

1:30:53 Adam Really?

1:30:54 Drew How long ago did he retire?

1:30:55 Melinda Clarke Last year, 38 years.

1:30:57 Adam Wow.

1:30:58 Drew Same one? Wow.

1:31:00 Adam Yeah. Wow. Oh, he was Dr. Rex Dexler? Who was he?

1:31:05 Melinda Clarke Mickey Horton.

1:31:06 Adam Mickey Horton?

1:31:08 Drew Yeah.

1:31:08 Adam I got to keep up my stories because I'm not...

1:31:11 Drew That's my story.

1:31:15 Adam I remember the closest I ever got to the soaps was during the Luke and Laura whatever. And I probably had about the most time I ever had on my hands. And there's a little dabbling in it. But even then, it just was that...

1:31:26 Melinda Clarke What was early 80s or late 70s, early 80s?

1:31:31 Adam Sorry, my Subaru commercial is back on again. Yeah. So let's see if we can see the warning this time. But soaps have always been popular. There's always a place for them. I don't know how it goes ratings wise. I can't imagine.

1:31:46 Melinda Clarke It's definitely dropped off, but it's still very popular. But some of them have gone beyond being soaps now. What are they? Just the story lines are so extreme. Really?

1:31:56 Adam Oh, yeah. Like robots and midges and stuff like that. Yeah, you got to keep moving. But if you think about back in the day, for the first 50 years of soaps, here was their competition at one in the afternoon on a Tuesday. I was like, hi, I'm Ben Hunter. Some fat guy sitting on a barca lounger in front of a fish tank. We now return you to the Chisholm Trail, starring Howard Johnson Jr., John Wayne Jr., and a young, young Shirley MacLennan. Please enjoy the rest of this commercial free. And some black and white crappy, like there was nothing-

1:32:36 Drew We didn't have color TVs then.

1:32:38 Adam There wasn't anything to watch. You were screwed. You would actually have to watch, you'd be nine years old watching a soap to see if you could see a little cleavage or something. Maybe someone could punch.

1:32:46 Drew Do you remember when you stayed home from school? What you'd see was like films from the 30s?

1:32:51 Adam I am convinced that it was all part of a conspiracy to punish those who stayed home from school.

1:32:57 Drew To keep you- Oh, yeah.

1:32:58 Adam There was nothing. You know, all there was, when you would stay home from school, is there was like crappy old films from like the 40s that would run.

1:33:07 Drew But things that no one ever saw.

1:33:08 Adam And then there were soaps.

1:33:10 Melinda Clarke It's a little before my-

1:33:12 Adam Then there were soaps. And then there were these ones. There were always all these commercials about learning to work in a doctor's world, learning to work a computer.

1:33:21 Drew Right, right.

1:33:21 Adam And they were like, Wally Thorpe School of Trucking.

1:33:24 Drew Yeah. Dudeson.

1:33:26 Adam Dudeson. How do I know? I'm David Dudeson. Yeah.

1:33:29 Melinda Clarke There was the Mickey Mouse Club.

1:33:31 Caller Yeah.

1:33:32 Drew No, that was later.

1:33:33 Caller It was later.

1:33:34 Adam It was like three o'clock. Yeah, you went to school. You don't know. You stay home. There ain't just nothing on. You watch TV anyway. That's the beauty of it.

1:33:41 Drew You're sort of uncomfortable and things that like shouldn't be on television, not that they're offensive. They're just sort of hard to watch.

1:33:49 Adam Well, when you're nine, you love old door stay movies. You just do.

1:33:53 Drew But you wouldn't even... That stuff hadn't made it to television yet.

1:33:56 Adam Oh, well, I was watching that stuff. I wasn't watching stuff in the 40s. And then God Loves Speed Racer would come on about two in the afternoon. That was my savior.

1:34:04 Drew Well, there was all those weird sort of Japanese cartoons coming in the afternoon. Simba.

1:34:07 Adam Kimba.

1:34:08 Melinda Clarke Danger's waiting just ahead.

1:34:10 Adam Yeah, Speed Racer. Yeah, Kimba, the White Lion. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Jen. Yeah, those baboon buddies. They were smart.

1:34:18 Drew Ran like this.

1:34:18 Adam Yeah. Jen.

1:34:21 Yeah.

1:34:22 Adam You're 22?

1:34:24 Caller Yeah.

1:34:25 Adam Remember Kimba, the White Lion?

1:34:28 Caller What?

1:34:28 Drew Okay.

1:34:29 Adam What's going on, baby doll?

1:34:31 Drew What's up?

1:34:34 Caller I'm calling because my boyfriend and I, we used to have really great sex when I was getting off when I was on top. But that stopped and I'm not getting off that way anymore. I can only get off during anal sex when I have a vibrator on my clit. That's the only way I can get off now and it's frustrating.

1:34:54 Drew Are you on medication?

1:34:56 Caller I actually just started Lexapro. This problem has been going on since before then.

1:35:03 Drew Well, Lexapro will worsen that problem probably.

1:35:06 Adam Yeah.

1:35:07 Drew Because it makes it more difficult to orgasm on the serotonin reuptake drugs.

1:35:10 Caller Yeah.

1:35:11 Adam But God bless Jen. She's like someone's, they said there's, she's announced there's no prison that can hold me kind of things.

1:35:19 Drew Figure this out.

1:35:19 Adam There's no orgasm that can escape me. A lot of people have said, I have lost my libido. No, get the vibrator and the water-soluble lube. Let's go. I will not say die. What's that?

1:35:31 Drew You don't need-

1:35:31 Caller But I don't need lube.

1:35:32 Adam No lube. I'm a ventabular.

1:35:35 Caller I have plenty of my own lubrication.

1:35:36 Drew Yeah, yeah, but.

1:35:40 Adam Yeah, it's called dinner. You don't want to produce the lube down there. You know what I mean? Am I right, Jerome?

1:35:50 Drew You're right, Adam.

1:35:50 Adam Thank you, bud. All right. Now we return to your door stay. The Rock Hudson. Boy crazy. 1954. All right. Yeah, all right. Well, Jen, maybe you should check into getting a little, what, Cerqwhale, Ceratone, Ceropop.

1:36:08 Drew Well, Butrin, Remeron, Sarazona not as likely to cause the problem. Maybe it's because you're depressed that you're having the problem now. I don't know. Are you doing anything else, drugs or anything?

1:36:18 Caller No, no, not at all.

1:36:19 Drew How long have you been having this problem?

1:36:22 Caller It's been going on, I want to say like maybe two or three months now.

1:36:27 Drew Gained or lost weight, anything like that?

1:36:30 Caller No, it stayed about the same.

1:36:32 Drew Changing your exercise pattern?

1:36:34 Caller No.

1:36:35 Adam All right.

1:36:36 Drew My prediction is it should come back. Is it changing your relationship at all? That's a really key thing.

1:36:41 Adam Anything?

1:36:42 Caller Well, we were, we kind of were arguing a lot, and then we broke up a little bit. It was like a week, and then we got back together.

1:36:49 Drew I think that's more where the issue is.

1:36:51 Adam It's time to go. 22. You've been together long enough. All right.

1:36:56 Drew Melinda Clarke.

1:36:57 Adam Yeah, everybody. Let's take our social break.

1:37:01 Drew Eight and nine o'clock.

1:37:01 Melinda Clarke I wonder what the boyfriend was.

1:37:03 Drew I know. What he's thinking.

1:37:05 Caller Is he, yeah.

1:37:08 Adam For the first two weeks, and then it gets a little bit. Yeah.

1:37:11 Drew She was taking care of it before. Now, he's got to do a little work.

1:37:14 Adam You know what other commercials used to run during those when you stay home? Yeah. You can own land for pennies an acre up at Montrose Pines. Nothing. Lakeviews. They were selling acres of forest. Yeah, they're still. Now, it's Eric Estrada. Back then, it was just a seven-year-old Eric Estrada. Didn't know who he was. We'll take ourselves a quick break. Be right back after this. Yeah! Well, that's it, y'all. Melinda Clarke, everybody. The OC. Eight o'clock on Fox. Eight and nine.

1:37:52 Melinda Clarke Eight and nine. I guess they're repeating.

1:37:54 Adam Fox. Good seeing you again, baby doll.

1:37:57 Melinda Clarke Nice to see you again. I'm going to crash your party.

1:37:59 Adam Great to see you, neighbor. Come on down.

1:38:00 Melinda Clarke Yeah.

1:38:01 Adam I won't be there. We will take ourselves a little extendo break and until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying Mahalo.

1:38:11 Caller This has been Love Line. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Love Line is Aningold. Love Line is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, May 25, 2005