Episode 1000710693661

0:57 Voiceover Love Line is meant for an adult audience.

1:01 Voiceover Love Line may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:07 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:13 Melinda Clarke This is Love Line.

1:17 Voiceover With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. Hey, everybody, it's the Love Line. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew is a board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Melinda Clarke from the OC is here tonight.

1:35 Melinda Clarke Hello.

1:36 Adam Thursday nights, 8 o'clock at, wait a minute, 8 and 9 o'clock on Fox. I saw, I was driving up, I don't know, La Brea today, and I saw two OC big billboards just sort of stacked, like one and then two blocks later, the next billboard I saw, another OC. Yeah, I don't know how any of that works, but point is is...

1:59 Drew 8 and 9 o'clock.

2:00 Melinda Clarke I think that's what they're doing for the summertime. Our finale was last week. So they're repeating the entire season.

2:07 Adam Don't give away the finale to the Stoners.

2:09 Drew No, no. Want the T-voter to have them watch it?

2:12 Melinda Clarke That wasn't, no, that was a couple of episodes ago, a couple of weeks ago.

2:14 Drew Oh, I missed that. Oh, so I missed the finale.

2:16 Adam Drew, Melinda's currently signing an autograph for Drew's daughter because everyone in the Pinsky family is a huge OC fan.

2:25 Drew Especially the ones with two X chromosomes.

2:27 Adam Oh, yeah.

2:28 The dudes love it.

2:29 Melinda Clarke Yeah, yeah.

2:30 Adam I know. I enjoy the OC as well because I love that stuff. I mean, I used to watch Melrose Place all the time.

2:39 Drew Knott's Landing.

2:40 Adam Knott's Landing. You admit that? I did. Dynasty. Oh, 90210. Falcon Crest. Yeah. But I mean, like, like, seriously, like Melrose Place, there's, I hope, always going to be a place for that ilk of television or entertainment in our society. And I and I feel like OC is if that's as close to the comparison as I can figure out. Do you have a better one?

3:08 Melinda Clarke I think it's all of those things, but it's a step further because it's not Aaron Spelling. It's a bit further, but that's what's great about our shows because I think we all kind of miss the 90210 Melrose Place and our audience is a little bit older. And that was kind of a surprise to have that many people watching it and that age range. So I guess it's okay for us to, you know.

3:30 Adam You're a Dana Point native, which is either in the OC or not too far from the OC. That's the OC.

3:36 Drew She grew up right near where I kind of grew up.

3:38 Melinda Clarke We went to the same high school, we figured out.

3:40 Drew No, I was at the same beaches and stuff.

3:42 Melinda Clarke Same beaches. We saw each other at a...

3:44 Drew In the middle of the night in New York City.

3:46 Adam Yeah, I heard I was talking to Drew on the phone and I'm very drunk and Melinda Clarke staggered up to Drew.

3:51 Melinda Clarke He says, what are you doing at 3 o'clock in the morning? What do you think I'm doing?

3:56 Adam Yeah, having a good time, partying. Yeah, see, see, Drew...

4:01 Melinda Clarke I was pretty good. I was a little bit tight.

4:03 Drew You maintained, you maintained.

4:04 Adam Drew, well, Drew's very sobering. He really is.

4:08 Melinda Clarke Yeah, you probably haven't been drinking at that point.

4:10 Drew I just finished radio. I had to do the broadcast back here.

4:13 Melinda Clarke Right. So yeah, what a job.

4:16 Adam I never I never thought about that. But yeah, so whenever we're in New York, I was just there. We have to do the radio from 1 a.m. to 3 a.m. and then you get back to your hotel room at 345. And whoever's working the floor buffer over at the over at the Riga Riga Royals, things like Dr. Drew's an animal. This guy's coming in 345 every night.

4:39 Melinda Clarke But that's the problem.

4:39 Adam I have a couple of bitches.

4:41 Melinda Clarke That's the problem with New York, though. You can always find a party at any time of the day.

4:45 Adam That is a problem.

4:45 Melinda Clarke I was very happy to come home because of that.

4:48 Adam And you just walk. I mean, I just I would just walk from the studio. CBS is 330 more and just chugging down the street. You got to walk. You got to walk with purpose, though, otherwise you will get rolled.

5:00 Drew But if we ran a carload of prostitutes at one night.

5:03 Adam Yeah, we met a minivan full of prostitutes one night. And these these were chicks that they really looked they looked like like prostitute puppets. They were sort of that they were a novel. You know, I mean, it's huge eyelashes like, you know, like you were going to make a puppet prostitute. This is what huge hair and crazy and these in these. They're all piled in this minivan. We're walking home about 315 in the morning and they're like, you fell in and Drew's like, those ladies require assistance. He's like Clark Kent. He starts walking at the makes a sharp turn. He starts heading for this van full of like a Puerto Rican prostitute.

5:47 Melinda Clarke How do you know they're women?

5:49 Adam That's another good point. Yeah, well, prostitute does not necessarily mean woman.

5:53 Drew Don't worry, Adam, intervene.

5:54 Adam I just grabbed Drew's arm and like, where are you going, Drew? And he's like, those ladies are in some form of jeopardy and they require assistance. I must intervene.

6:05 Melinda Clarke I must put on my blue tights.

6:07 Adam That dark gentleman of leisure with the feathered hat and the crushed velvet duster, it also requires assistance.

6:16 Drew Adam had the great intervention at that point, which was, look forward and keep walking. Just keep walking.

6:20 Adam That's right.

6:21 Drew What? What? What happened?

6:22 Melinda Clarke He goes, street smarts.

6:23 Melinda Clarke He goes, what do you think that was?

6:26 Drew I'm like, these people didn't have, they said, help, help.

6:29 Adam Yeah. What did they yell?

6:31 Drew So like, hey Gary, they sort of looked like they were distressed.

6:33 Adam They were like flagging us down at three in the morning and Drew had never seen a prostitute. But have you ever seen movies that had prostitutes?

6:41 Drew I guess, well, you know, I guess not.

6:44 Adam So naive.

6:44 Melinda Clarke Not like those.

6:46 Adam So anyway, you know, it's where I really had to explain to them how things work and-

6:52 Drew And here's the real comedy.

6:53 Adam Male and female genitalia.

6:54 Drew I argued with you for a little bit. It's like, what are you talking about? They didn't help.

6:58 Adam When a daddy feels love for a woman, blood goes to his organ and it gets in engorged with blood and then he puts that in, in the mommy.

7:09 Drew Oh, that's gross. I'm never going to do that.

7:14 Melinda Clarke How do you start that conversation?

7:16 Drew That's how it goes.

7:17 Adam How do you do it?

7:18 Drew You go, they'll usually come up with something and you go, check with them, make sure what they're asking. You go, what do you really want to know? Just answer it and then just ask again. Do you want to know more? And just keep going until they go, oh my God, oh my God, enough.

7:33 Melinda Clarke I have a friend with the five year old twins, the boys, and one of them asked her, did you long kiss daddy when you got married? And she said, well, yeah, it's my daddy. I mean, it's your daddy, it's my husband. Okay, let me ask you one more thing. Does he kiss your boobies?

7:51 Melinda Clarke I know that's why I'm not going to, she didn't know what to say.

7:56 Drew I don't want to talk to my kids. You just got to go, matter of fact, you just got to go, well, yeah.

8:00 Melinda Clarke Yeah.

8:00 Drew Really?

8:01 Adam How about lying? I would have preferred if my parents lied to me about almost everything.

8:05 Drew Not when you ask them a question. If you ask them a question, they just got to come back, just the facts. Just the facts.

8:09 Melinda Clarke Right.

8:11 Adam I remember my dad's...

8:12 Drew But don't launch into anything.

8:14 Melinda Clarke The problem is this little boy, my daughter thinks is her boyfriend. So we have to watch them.

8:21 Adam My dad's first really crappy apartment in North Hollywood with the paper thin walls. Some chick that lived in the unit next to my dad's just got the bejesus banged out of her all night one night. And it just, she was like screaming. She was a screamer obviously. I figured it, by the way, my only encounter with a moaner, by the way, when I was eight, because I haven't seen them in a while. Since then, never happened. Not in my adult life, not a peep. Church mice, since then. But I had an ass full when I was eight. And this woman just, it was just all night. Like I was up all night, she's like, oh, oh, oh, oh. She's like, you just, you know, this one, like one of those nerd, you know, remember the, you know, the nurses used to get like that kind of thing, you know, crazy, can't, I'm coaked up and she's just screaming. She's screaming all night, just like bellowing. And I'm like, uh, dad, that's just I sort of in my mind picture, she impaled herself on something and was stuck, you know, like she was in her bathroom and fell on like a hot comb. And it went through her sternum and she was just writhing in pain the entire night. You know, there's like four, whoever this dude, now I would have high-fived it there like, whoa, what the hell? But this guy was giving her this shit all night, just bellowing all night. And I remember just saying to my dad, dad, this woman, she's sick, she's ill. And then he snapped into that weird serious thing like, son. And I was like, oh no, like I knew immediately, oh something. No, okay stop. See that's the option.

9:52 Drew But you don't go into that mode. If you launch into, well son, this is because mommy loves a daddy and blah, blah, blah. Then the kids go, blah, blah, blah. I just want to know, do you kiss the boobies? That's all. Right.

10:02 Adam Okay. Well, all I'm saying is the kids need the olly olly oxen free. I mean, they need to be able to pull the plug on the question.

10:09 Drew The safe word. The safe word is like elephant.

10:12 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Because as I would go like, Daddy, this woman, this poor woman is sick. We have to call the hospital.

10:17 Drew Oh, son.

10:17 Adam Elephant.

10:18 Elephant.

10:19 Adam Okay. Something weird and sexual is coming. All right. OC everybody. Fox. Hey, Drew. Big hit. Coming back for third season.

10:28 Why did you pick elephant as the word?

10:30 Drew That's just what popped into my head. Why? Does it mean, did it mean something?

10:34 Like, like, like, I don't know, 45 years ago, maybe Ricky Rackman was filling in for Adam and he was the exact same word. Weird.

10:41 Drew How do you remember that strange?

10:42 Because Danielle and I, the old screener, used to make fun of it all the time.

10:45 Drew Oh, funny.

10:47 Creepy.

10:47 Drew Please, our Sean.

10:48 Adam Explain everyone who Ricky Rackman is.

10:51 I remember he's selling cars.

10:53 Adam Anderson, turn your mic down, please. Kelly.

10:57 Yes.

10:58 Adam You're 20.

10:59 Caller Yes, I'm 20.

11:01 Adam What's up?

11:02 Caller Well, I have a lot higher sex drive than my boyfriend, who is 24. And we're constantly having a fight with. I instigate it and I want it. And then he completely shoots me down. So the sex is great when we have it. It's just I'm definitely not having enough of it.

11:22 Drew Are you running right now? Are you OK?

11:24 Caller No.

11:24 Adam I'm fine. All the time. Hey, is this a chick who lived next door to my dad in that crappy apartment? Maybe it's her offspring. Her horny offspring.

11:36 Drew And so let me understand this. This is just, how long you guys been together?

11:40 A year.

11:41 Drew And it's been the same way all through that, most of that year?

11:44 Caller No, the first three months were great because I, you know, it's new, it's interesting.

11:48 Drew And how often are you doing it?

11:50 Caller We do it maybe once, twice a week.

11:53 Drew And what's, what are you wanting?

11:56 Caller Once a day, every other day, whenever, you know, a little bit more than we're having.

12:01 Adam A little bit more.

12:02 Drew Once a day is not a little bit more.

12:05 Caller Well, the thing is, is that when I pressure him for sex, then he completes, completely shoots me down, doesn't want to do any of it because then I make him feel inadequate.

12:13 Adam All right, hold on a second. Kelly sounds a little nutty.

12:17 Drew At least it was sort of wound up. Maybe not nutty.

12:20 Adam Okay, wound up. I'll explain this to Melinda, that the guys feel... We don't necessarily recoil from the sex. We recoil from the nutty engine that's pushing the sex. Like, feels, chick feels... It's like when the chick says like, come on, I want to call you daddy, or I want you to smack me in the ass or something. It's not that guys aren't into that, but it's like, ooh, something's nutty, something's going on here. And then when we sense nutty, all we want to do is sort of watch Tivo. I mean, it's like, we just got to, yeah, you know what? Let me think on this for about three months. Yeah. Don't come near me, I got to think. Okay, Oral, but that's it.

13:03 Drew And is it also, they feel like sort of taken out of the equation a little bit, like the girl's not attracted to him, she's just attracted to just that engine's just going off.

13:13 Melinda Clarke A little need, a little desperation.

13:16 Drew Because guys don't want to desperation, as long as they're triggering it. Yeah.

13:20 Adam And also guys are sort of, they're taken out of their, I don't know, I'm just thinking about boxing, they're taken out of their fight plan.

13:27 Drew Yeah.

13:27 Adam Like they're like an aggressive fighter, and they're used to just bullying people, and all of a sudden, someone comes flying out at them, and they're against the ropes, and they don't know how to fight all of a sudden. They're out of their plan.

13:38 Drew They don't know how to fight defensively, yes.

13:39 Adam Right. We're used to moving forward, we're not used to stepping back and counterpunching. And when he asks us to do that, we just seize up.

13:47 Melinda Clarke Does she just play it cool?

13:50 Drew Well, here's part of the thing, Kelly. Is that both Adam and I responded to something you said that I think you could pull off, which is doing things a little more. But doing things a little more is sort of agreeing how much a little more is, which is probably regularly twice a week, and then take the heat off the everyday thing. He's not up for that, and he feels inadequate because he's not up for it. He can't keep up with that pace.

14:12 Caller Yeah, but that's compromising to his needs, but he's not compromising to my needs at all.

14:16 Drew No, that's not compromising at all.

14:17 Adam Well, look, hold on. You're 20, you've been together for a year, you're way off in your sexual scheduling, maybe just break it off.

14:24 Drew There's that solution.

14:25 Caller No. The thing is that I will go a week without-

14:27 Adam Hold on. I'm going to scream yes like a parrot and see if I can get my point.

14:31 Caller But I feel like I'm having more of a relationship with my vibrator than I am my actual boyfriend.

14:36 Adam You see, Kelly, we don't expect you to know you're nuts because nuts doesn't know nuts. That's part of the way you measure nuts.

14:43 Drew Lack of insight.

14:44 Adam If you know you're nuts, how nutty can you be?

14:47 Caller Yeah. But what's wrong with a woman having a higher sex drive than a man?

14:50 Adam Well, nothing. But I think it's your nuttiness that he's sort of responding to or recoiling from.

14:57 Caller I'm not like nasty in bed.

14:59 It's sex.

15:00 Caller I'm not like, oh, spank me, baby. It's not like that.

15:03 Drew Kelly.

15:03 It's not that I'm freaking him out.

15:05 Drew All right. You're not listening. Okay. We said that he needs to make a compromise and you need to make a compromise. You need to reach somewhere in the middle and then realize that every day is not, he can't biologically keep up with that.

15:17 Adam Kelly, what do you do? I'm guessing you're working.

15:21 Caller Yes, I work.

15:22 Adam Going to junior college. What do you got going?

15:25 Caller I go to college. I'm out of college right now because of the summer, but I work as a sales associate.

15:30 Adam Junior college?

15:32 Caller No, not junior college.

15:34 Drew Where are you going to school?

15:36 Adam I go to University of Colorado.

15:39 Drew Which one?

15:39 Adam University of Colorado.

15:42 Drew Boulder? Yes. Is there a bipolar disorder in your family? Managed depression?

15:48 Caller No, there's not.

15:49 Drew Have you had any concerns about that kind of thing? Because you're all sped up tonight, maybe just because you're nervous.

15:54 Caller No, no. I'm outside.

15:55 We were bowling.

15:58 Adam You were bowling? Drew and I shot a few games too before we came in tonight, but we've mellowed out.

16:05 Drew I just caught our breath pretty quick.

16:07 Adam Yeah. What's your average, Kelly?

16:11 Caller I don't know. 100, I'm really bad.

16:14 Adam Okay. All right, look, here's all I'm saying. If you're sane and you're claiming that you are sane and he won't compromise. And he won't compromise.

16:24 Drew That's not a relationship.

16:24 Adam You break up. This is what you do when you're 20. All right. Look, your date, you try to find a match. You do not match up with everyone. That's the way it's supposed to be. Right. You know, you people don't understand. You're supposed to test drive many a person before you actually lease. You thought I was going to say bye, but I look at marriage as a lease. My wife knows it. Oh, yeah.

16:50 Drew I'm sure she does.

16:51 Adam What do we got? What do we got about another 18 months on my lease? And option to buy, but we'll see. We'll see.

16:59 Drew Her lease on you is up.

17:02 Melinda Clarke Are you a newlywed?

17:03 Adam Yeah. No, I've been married a couple of years. Is that a newlywed?

17:08 Melinda Clarke No.

17:09 Adam Two, two and a half years, something like that. It feels new because we argue a lot. What's that?

17:15 Drew It's two or three years because it's August.

17:18 Adam It's August.

17:19 Drew You better write that down. You better watch out.

17:21 Adam Write that down. Yeah, I got to get that on my cheat sheet. I got a cheat sheet on my wall. It's got all my good stuff in it. The address is everything. You know, I think it's in my bag, but I'll get it for you. It's a good looking cheat sheet.

17:32 Drew Can't wait.

17:33 Adam Yeah. You know, I actually have the number, my ATM number written in it, but I decided to cross out one number and just leave three for whoever finds my wallet. No, because I figure I can remember the one. You know what I'm saying?

17:47 Drew You figure whoever finds your wallet can't try the nine numbers before he gets the money?

17:52 Adam No, I don't. Why, Zakir? Because I'll tell you why. Because you do your thing wrong like three times it sucks a card in. But he could get lucky. You know my feeling is, someone who finds my wallet and is lucky, take the money. You deserve it. That's why you're lucky. Who am I to stand in the way of your luck? Literally a millionaire, Drew.

18:13 Drew We don't care.

18:14 Adam Hannah?

18:15 Caller Yes.

18:16 Adam 19?

18:17 Caller Yep.

18:17 Adam What's up?

18:19 I was just diagnosed with HPV and it caught me completely off guard. I'm just curious as to how it's going to affect me sexually. When I do get pregnant and have kids, how's that going to work?

18:33 Drew It's not going to affect that significantly.

18:35 Adam So that's warts, right Drew?

18:36 Yeah.

18:37 Drew You've joined most of the women in Dallas because most women have this, right? You understand that?

18:43 Adam Not the series though. You were talking earlier about the NXT and the shows.

18:47 Drew I mean the actual series. You understand that, right?

18:51 Right, yeah.

18:52 Drew How profoundly common this is?

18:55 I didn't know how common it was, but it makes me feel whatever it is.

18:58 Drew About half your periods have it. And it's certain. Yes.

19:02 Adam I know you keep saying that, but then everyone says no. But then Drew makes the ultimate argument, which is, well, they don't know they have it. But you really can't argue with it. It's like, you don't know you're dead. This is all a dream. I should come back with that one.

19:15 Melinda Clarke That's Dallas.

19:16 Adam That's Dallas.

19:16 Drew Yeah, that's right.

19:17 Adam Yeah.

19:19 Drew The fact is-

19:19 Adam The Victoria Principal has warts. Is that what you're saying?

19:22 Drew That's what I'm saying. Will he have that cast?

19:24 Melinda Clarke Patrick Duffy.

19:24 Drew He does. Surely, he does. Yeah. But the fact is that most of the viruses that cause HPV will go away on their own in about five years. So those that persist, those that are persistent are the ones that do cause cervical cancer and you really won't know which one you have and so you've got to get regular pelvic smear, pelvic, you know, exams and pap smears and colposcopy if you have abnormal pap smear.

19:46 My doctor has told me that I have to have surgery because I have severe pre-cancer cells in my cervix.

19:52 Drew Alright, so you've got the more severe kind of the of the war virus. That's the one that tends to persist and it's one that you'll be contagious with forever.

19:58 Yeah, that's what she said. And I'm just, I don't, she said it was severe.

20:04 Drew So are they going to do a leap procedure or what are they going to do?

20:06 Yeah, that's what they're going to do.

20:07 Drew And that can, that is a certain percentage risk of affecting what's called cervical competency. You know, the cervix has got to hold the baby in there and you screw out the cervix too much, things can kind of open up.

20:18 Adam Is that what holds the baby in?

20:20 Drew Well, that's what comes out.

20:21 Adam What about the umbilical cord? No.

20:23 Melinda Clarke You don't want that happening.

20:24 Adam Why that cord? That's like a tie-down.

20:28 Drew That's tie-down. That's what it is.

20:29 Adam Well, no, but here's what was always described to me is, you know, when you see people traveling on the freeway and they have that rack on top of the station wagon and there's some camping gear up there and there's a couple of bungee cords pulled over the top or maybe a tie-down, that's, it's called, the word cord is right into it.

20:48 Drew Right there, right there.

20:48 Adam It's right there.

20:49 Drew Yeah.

20:50 Adam Umbilical cord.

20:51 Drew Yes, yes.

20:51 Adam It's not umbilical tube.

20:53 Drew Right.

20:53 Adam Or umbilical trough or flume.

20:55 Melinda Clarke Mm-hmm.

20:57 Adam That would be a better name for it. Umbilical flume. The umbilical cord, cord. You know what I mean?

21:03 Drew Yep.

21:04 Adam Cord does not, what do you do? Like when someone says, um, hey, I have this soft drink and I don't want to mess my lipstick up, so I'm going to drink it through a cord. You know what I mean? People will be confused.

21:15 Melinda Clarke So we should change the name.

21:16 Drew To umbilical straw. Straw, straw, straw, straw, hose, hose, hose.

21:20 Adam Oh, we have to, hose is good.

21:21 Melinda Clarke It's carrying nutrients and oxygen.

21:23 Adam Yeah, we have to, what do they say? We have to, oh, we have to insert a breathing cord into the person or feeding, feeding cord.

21:31 Drew Tube, yeah.

21:32 Adam It's tube, it's tube. It's never cord.

21:34 Drew All right, so corduroy. So as you said, there's a tie down component to this.

21:38 Adam A cord.

21:39 Drew But the baby's got to come out the cervix, right? And so that's got to stay closed until the time for the baby to come out. That's the bottom line.

21:45 Adam So you're saying if that opens.

21:47 Drew Until the cord releases.

21:48 Adam The cord is the last line of defense. Because if that gives, then the kid's coming out.

21:52 Drew Yeah. Or none.

21:53 Adam So if the cervix is unable to close, the kid's literally dangling there.

21:59 Drew He's not dangling.

21:59 Adam Literally dangling by the cord. By the cord. Like a Christmas ornament.

22:03 Drew I see, yes.

22:03 Adam That's what I meant to say. Like a crazy vaginal Christmas ornament.

22:06 Drew To feeding cord. But a common procedure, Hannah, you got to get it done. And it's important that these things can become cancers easily and you need to get them repeatedly controlled.

22:15 Adam Savannah. Savannah.

22:19 Caller Oh, hi, sorry.

22:20 Adam Seventeen. Uh-uh. We hear that voice. What's up?

22:25 Adam.

22:26 Adam Corolla.

22:27 Drew Oh, please explain to Melinda.

22:29 Adam Oh, and I...

22:30 Drew You wanted to let that go without telling her what that was?

22:32 Adam Well, I figured the word had gotten out by now.

22:34 Drew Oh, yeah.

22:34 Adam And do you have a swimming pool? And do you have a swimming pool? And do you have a swimming pool at your place?

22:41 Melinda Clarke Not now.

22:42 Drew Oh, no.

22:43 Melinda Clarke No, it's- Are you still in Orange County?

22:45 Melinda Clarke Yes, yes.

22:46 Drew You live in Dana Point?

22:47 Melinda Clarke Pardon?

22:47 Drew You still live down in Dana Point?

22:48 Melinda Clarke No, no. Sherman Oaks.

22:49 Drew Sherman Oaks, that's right. By Adam's house. No pool, though.

22:50 Adam I'm sorry to hear that. Let me come to one of my homes and swim.

22:53 Drew She's a neighbor.

22:55 Adam Well, that's not one of my homes.

22:56 Drew She'll hear the Adam Carolla ringing out through the neighborhood?

22:58 Adam Well, OK, you can come over to my place and play Marco Polo, which now is going to be called Adam Carolla, because he's had like a run.

23:07 Melinda Clarke He's had a long run.

23:08 Adam It's a good 800-year run with this. I don't know if they played it.

23:13 Drew They had above ground pools. They probably did.

23:15 Adam I don't know if they played it while he was alive is what I'm saying. It could have been one of those things that happened shortly after his death.

23:19 Drew In the ponds, I'm sure they did.

23:20 Adam But all I'm saying is 800 years of Marco Polo. I don't think kids even know Marco Polo. They just think it. I always assumed it was just a game he played in the pool. I didn't even know it was human being until like nine months ago. So I decided, OK, no offense to the Polo family, but, oh, by the way, they have water polo, too.

23:39 Drew Yeah.

23:39 Adam Yeah, that's enough.

23:41 Drew Yeah.

23:41 Adam You know, how much pool stuff do you guys have to have your name on?

23:43 Melinda Clarke Right, right.

23:44 Adam You know what I'm saying?

23:45 Melinda Clarke Yeah.

23:46 Drew Yeah, I'm with you. Yeah, let's go.

23:47 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

23:49 Drew Polo.

23:50 Adam There's Polo. Yeah.

23:51 Drew He's going for water, Corolla, eventually.

23:53 Adam But yeah. So Adam Corolla, you know, I got it.

23:58 Melinda Clarke So somebody who's alive can actually enjoy it. Yeah.

24:01 Adam Why not? And imagine how thrilling it would be. Well, let's just say if my parents heard that coming from a neighbor's yard, kids frolicking, laughing, the smell of barbecue in the air. Adam Corolla.

24:12 Melinda Clarke OK, well.

24:12 Adam Dad wiping a tear away.

24:14 Melinda Clarke I'll teach my my daughter how she can swim with her eyes closed. She's like five. So once she can do that, I'll be sure she'll never know Polo's name.

24:22 Drew There's a little twist to the fish out of water, though. I'm not sure if the fire drills are on.

24:26 Adam No, she can't play it yet, but do you know the fish out of water part of Marco Polo?

24:31 Melinda Clarke Yeah, fish out of water.

24:32 Adam That's been modified.

24:34 Melinda Clarke To what?

24:35 Adam Well, Drew, you do it.

24:37 Melinda Clarke Something to do with naked.

24:40 Adam It's bumpy. And I got to say, this is a working this is a work in progress.

24:44 Drew Maybe we ought to change it right now. A lot of fire.

24:47 Adam As it is now, Drew.

24:49 Drew It's Adam's master making the jacuzzi.

24:51 Adam Well, you have to say fast.

24:52 Melinda Clarke Say what?

24:53 Adam It sounds weird to say it slow. You've got to yell it. You've got to yell it. Otherwise, it sounds like you're weirdo.

25:00 Melinda Clarke Wait a second. If you're the one who's it and you're blind, you just keep your eyes closed and it's Adam Corolla. And then you can say, fish out of water.

25:08 Drew They say Adam's master making the jacuzzi.

25:09 Adam Yeah, that's fish out of water. It's what it is now.

25:15 Melinda Clarke So that's what you have to say when somebody's out of the water.

25:17 Adam When someone's out of the water.

25:19 Drew Or actually, if you're playing with Adam.

25:22 Adam It just means you're not playing the game.

25:25 Drew You're playing with, right.

25:26 Melinda Clarke I can't teach that one yet.

25:27 Adam No, you get a couple more months.

25:29 Melinda Clarke But the adults will go for it.

25:31 Adam All right, Savannah, I know. Savannah. Huh? Sorry, you got that started, baby.

25:37 Drew We gotta take a break.

25:37 Adam I'm gonna explain to Melinda.

25:38 Drew Hold on one second, all right?

25:39 Adam Relax, Drew, we're taking a break. Drew, relax, I know what I'm doing. Savannah.

25:44 Huh?

25:45 Adam You're addicted to sex, you cheat on your boyfriend with seven other guys?

25:49 Yeah.

25:50 Adam Yes? Okay, hold on. Melinda Clarke here tonight from the OC. She's a good looking one. We will take ourselves a little break and we'll get back with Savannah and her many, many men after this.

26:04 Melinda Clarke 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1.

26:07 Love Line, with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. We'll be right back.

26:22 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Melinda Clarke is here from the OC, Fox, Thursday Nights, 8 and 9 p.m. Two big fat episodes on Thursday night. That's tomorrow night. And, what the hell? There's an old contender I watched last night. Remember Sergio Mora, who we had in here?

26:50 Drew He won.

26:51 Adam Yeah, he won. The Latin snake.

26:53 Drew So he's going to the finals.

26:54 Adam No, no. He won the million bucks.

26:56 Drew Oh, my God.

26:57 Adam Yes, he did.

26:58 Drew Oh, yeah. I thought you were going to go to those finals.

27:00 Adam Well, they were yesterday and I couldn't.

27:02 Drew Did they air it yesterday?

27:03 Adam Yes, they did.

27:04 Drew Oh, my God.

27:05 Adam Drew, you have a TV?

27:06 Drew No. I live in a cave.

27:08 Adam I keep telling you, watch that contender.

27:10 Drew It seemed like he was going to win though, didn't it?

27:14 Adam Well, everyone was pretty good and pretty evenly matched. It was kind of hard to kind of kind of it's like flipping a coin and saying saying like it seemed like it would land on heads. It's kind of like, yeah, good chance could have gone the other way.

27:26 Drew That's cool.

27:26 Adam I liked him. He was a slick guy and a good fighter. But, you know, there were some upsets throughout the season.

27:32 Drew Did that other guy come back? The guy we would think Jonathan?

27:36 Adam No, Jonathan Reed, I think, did not fight in the whatever, whatever.

27:42 Drew Is there going to be a rematch sometime?

27:43 Adam Looks like there is. Why? Well, the fights were so good.

27:47 Drew Really?

27:48 Adam People want a second helping. Boxers always give rematches to their toughest opponents. For me, those would be the ones who made the list of no rematch. Right. You know what I mean?

27:57 Drew Yeah.

27:57 Adam That's like worst vacation. You're coming back? No.

28:00 Drew No way.

28:01 Adam No, it sucks. I got to, look at my face. Let's see a rematch. You want to see a rematch? Find me a guy and knock out in the first round. We got a rematch, multiple rematches. Actually, we could do one right now. But the guys that do battle with, the wars. No, no rematch. That's the way it works.

28:17 Melinda Clarke Yeah. Yeah.

28:18 Adam That's how I am. I'm a puss. Yeah. Savannah? 17?

28:25 Caller Yeah.

28:26 Adam Speaking of rematches, you did that seven times with seven different opponents.

28:32 Caller Yeah.

28:34 Adam You have a boyfriend.

28:36 Caller Yeah. But see, we've only been together for like a couple, maybe like a month or two now. And it's not just him. Like I've cheated on practically all my boyfriends. And I don't understand like why I do it.

28:50 Adam And when you say, when you say cheat though, what do you, what do you mean?

28:52 Melinda Clarke What does that mean? Yeah.

28:54 Caller Like having sex. Yeah.

28:58 Melinda Clarke Uh-oh.

28:58 Adam Yeah. I mean, that's not screwing around.

29:01 Caller Yeah.

29:02 Drew Aren't you worried about getting pregnant or disease or?

29:05 Caller Yeah, I totally am. And that's the worst part of it. Because like I think about it a lot, you know, like, I don't know, I sometimes I feel like a guy, like I have a one track mind or something.

29:14 Drew One what?

29:15 Caller One track mind. You know how like, never mind. And then when I get to like, to doing it, I don't feel like doing it anymore.

29:23 But I do anyway.

29:25 Drew That all sounds like, sounds like sexual abuse to me. Did that happen to you growing up?

29:31 Caller Yeah. When I was seven on my birthday.

29:33 Drew All right. Well, there you go. That's what it sounded like. Have you had any treatment for that?

29:37 Caller Yeah, I did. I got a few years of counseling, but it didn't really help.

29:42 Adam On your birthday. By the way. That's a great, that's an awesome birthday. Who was it? What did you get? Oh, Barbie's Dream Machine? No, something different. Something different this year. Mm, getting warm. Furby? You know, people do this all the time. They always say, you guys always say, you know, the people listen to the show, they go like, someone calls in and they say they sprained their ankle. And then you, then Drew says they're molested. And then they say, no, we were wasn't. Then Drew says, yes, you were. And then they say no. And then eventually they just say yes. So they can get to the question about turning their ankle. How do we magically know doesn't say anything about her mom being molested?

30:52 Drew Her being molested up there doesn't say no.

30:54 Adam There's no molestation thing. It's just I like sex. That's all it says. And especially the mom part. How? It's easy. It's a layup. Why? Humans? All the same. All the same. When it comes to extreme things, I'm marginally better than all you, but all you guys, the same. It's all the same. It's the same. Why shouldn't it be? Do our lungs work any differently from person to person? Do the cells work any differently to the veins, to the arteries, mucosal surfaces? Does anything work differently from person to person? No. So when you get molested at seven, it's the same. And we all know what your mom was doing when she brings home the guy molests you. It's easy, everybody. I don't understand why society or especially the government has no interest in this. Zero interest. Really? It's all you should be interested in.

31:44 Drew Profiling. How dare you?

31:45 Melinda Clarke Yeah.

31:46 Adam As a government, that's all you would want to know. It's like, give me all the information. And forget about human beings. Let's just say you went to another planet and you had to figure out how to rule the planet. Like, how do we do this? How do we keep people from not fighting? How do we keep screwed up people from not procreating? How do we keep violent people from not? Just give me all the data you can find on the Sneetches. I'll just look, I'll figure it all out, put it in the computer, pal. There we go. Oh, so you got to get them into rehab at this age. People that will foster kids. Ooh, we got to look at them and watch out because their parents were abusive and they came from this chaos. It'd be so easy to do, but yet, no, not interested. I know it's all Bush ever talks about. By the way, is there some sort of prerequisite as a president or leader of the country that you can have just zero interest in any kind of psychology, that the study of the mind is so taboo that it can't even be brought up, that you just sit there and have to sort of wax poetic about Jesus Christ like a retard, and meeting with the clergy and doing all this other sort of BS ritualistic crap that no one else buys? Are we that primitive? Are we that unsophisticated as a society that we freak out if a guy said, Yeah, I read a book. I read this book once that Freud wrote and here's what I learned. Or you know what? I got a lot of pressure. I go to the shrink once a week. I got official White House shrink. Comes to me though. I don't have to go to his office. Is it taboo or you just got to go pray some more? That's it. Clinton just get a little BJ and go pray on it. Bush go blow up a few people and then go pray on it. Everyone's just going to praying on everything. And you really think they're praying? I don't know. Bush maybe. Clinton, no way.

33:33 Melinda Clarke Certainly makes parenting terrifying. It should be terrifying to people. You shouldn't go into it lightly.

33:39 Melinda Clarke Right.

33:39 Drew You should understand what it is. Absolutely.

33:41 Melinda Clarke It's the hardest job. And every day I think I'm doing something wrong and screwing her up.

33:45 Melinda Clarke Oh yeah.

33:46 Adam She's probably smoking right now. She's five?

33:49 Melinda Clarke Yeah.

33:50 Adam Oh yeah. She's lit up. She's doing this thing. She opened the window.

33:53 Melinda Clarke She's blowing lights off.

33:55 Adam Lights all everywhere. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

33:59 Drew No, no, no.

34:00 Adam No one ever. That's what she says. Savannah.

34:03 Drew Savannah, how long? You were treated for how long?

34:06 Caller For about three years.

34:08 Drew Maybe I get back to that therapist because something's gone awry here.

34:11 Caller And I had a few different counselors. They weren't really helping me along.

34:18 Drew Well, you need to stay with one person and develop a relationship with that person. But more importantly, you may need separate treatment for sexual addiction because you're heading down that path.

34:25 Adam And in the sexual abuse part, I mean, whatever your your mom's horrible boyfriend did to you on your seventh birthday is bad. But having your mom raise you is where the lion's share of the damage was done. I mean, your mom's an abuse victim. She passed that on to you. And then she brought home a string of horrible guys. And God knows what biological dad was like. So these things, I mean, it's a collective thing. It's not just the one incident. If you took a super healthy person who came from a nurturing family, abused, had one incident, put them back into therapy and got them back into school, they probably could shake it off. But this is a whole lifetime worth of stuff for you.

35:04 Drew That and I think you've inherited the genetic potential for addiction.

35:06 Adam Plus, your name is Savannah, which is not even on my list of Crystal, Tammy and Cammie. It's a super white trash, slutty names, but it transcends the list. It's actually above. It actually doesn't fit on the list. It's that much higher than the list. Do you know what I'm saying? I know it sounds heavy. I couldn't make it on the list because it's like four spaces above the top of the list.

35:31 Drew What is it predicting?

35:32 Adam Savannah? Yeah, it's just that that's just one of those names. Well, first off, OK, let me explain something. Savannah is super white trash mom trying to overcompensate for less than average intelligence.

35:44 Drew No way. No, come on now.

35:46 Adam Yes. No, I'm not saying Savannah is, but that's mom.

35:48 Drew But there might have been.

35:49 Adam You got an idiot for a mom.

35:50 Drew No. Of course. You've got a massive.

35:53 Adam Yes. Your mom's a mess, Savannah.

35:56 Caller Yeah, we'll see. I still see my dad, though. I still see my real dad every once in a while.

36:00 Adam Where's your mom?

36:02 Caller I live with her.

36:03 Drew By the way, there is an option that dad is a good guy and that she couldn't hang with him because he is a good guy.

36:08 Adam What's mom got going now? Is she naughty?

36:12 Caller No, she's kind of dating some guy, I think.

36:16 Drew Stay away from him. Stay away.

36:18 Yeah, that's what I plan on.

36:20 Caller But my dad is complete ass. He hits me and stuff.

36:24 Adam There you go.

36:25 Caller I didn't really have that.

36:26 Melinda Clarke I was going to say, sounds like the OC, but that goes beyond.

36:29 Adam As long as you guys support it.

36:29 Drew It is a little OC-ish, but it's like the real OC.

36:32 Melinda Clarke Yeah, right.

36:33 Drew This is what those people would really be doing. But Savannah, you got to consider, go back to your therapist. You're 17. It's hard to get involved in a 12-step program under the age of 18. It's hard to sort of do that work. Though if you're up for it, SA would be a great place for you to go. But get back, connect with that old therapist.

36:46 Adam Stop acting out. That's really going to help you.

36:49 Drew Are you addicted to any chemicals?

36:51 Caller I'm sorry?

36:53 Adam Huh?

36:53 Caller I'm sorry. What did you think?

36:54 Drew Are you addicted to any chemicals?

36:57 Caller I did marijuana for a while, but then it was just that in the way of my school.

37:01 Drew And now it's just speed?

37:04 Adam Nothing.

37:04 Drew Now it's just speed.

37:05 Adam No. You into speed? No. Okay. All right. It would be funny if they just spat out a chemical. Isopropyl.

37:15 Drew Toll-U-Wayne.

37:16 Melinda Clarke Toll-U-Wayne.

37:17 Adam Benzenite. It would just be funny if they spit out something off like the periodical table of whatever.

37:26 Drew All right.

37:26 Adam Dylan.

37:28 Caller Hi.

37:29 Adam Oh, Dylan the chick.

37:31 Drew All right.

37:32 Adam You could be on the OC with that kind of name. What's up?

37:39 Caller Oh, well, I have a question.

37:42 But firstly, Adam, I love you.

37:44 You're so hot.

37:45 Adam Yeah.

37:46 Drew All right. What? Now, on the heels of that, on the heels of that, what is your question? What is your question?

37:53 Caller OK. My boyfriend and I have been doing methadone for the past.

37:57 Drew Oh, heroin addict. OK. Well, you're good. That's right about. OK. OK. You've been doing methadone.

38:04 Caller Yeah. And he doesn't have sex with me anymore.

38:08 Drew Because he's on methadone.

38:10 Caller Well, yeah. Yeah. Like his sex drive has gone down so much.

38:15 Adam Yeah.

38:15 Well, that's that's the real problem. And it makes me feel like he doesn't like me anymore. No, it's methadone.

38:21 Adam All right. Hold on.

38:21 Drew Well, for you to get over 80 milligrams or up to 120, that's when there's no sex drive.

38:26 Adam No, really? Yeah.

38:27 Drew And that's what methadone does. It's one of.

38:28 Adam Drew, I bet you could beat like 180.

38:31 Drew I could do it. I could break through.

38:32 Adam Yeah. Drew's so passionate. So, so passionate, so very passionate and sensual. He's a man of great sensuality. You don't hear sensual use as it pertains to the male.

38:45 Drew No, thank God.

38:47 Adam It's not something you take out, you know, you cart out very often. But for Drew, it's very fitting.

38:52 Drew I get that moniker.

38:53 Adam Fitting, yeah. Sensual, passionate, Dr. Drew. There should be a cologne. You should have an essence, a scent.

39:01 Melinda Clarke It's a new superhero that helps prostitutes.

39:05 Oh, yeah.

39:06 Drew Helps the abused and the sexual, the sex industry.

39:11 Adam Yeah. Dr. Naive.

39:13 Melinda Clarke Comic book.

39:15 Adam Yeah.

39:15 Drew Oh, no, this is it.

39:16 Adam Yeah.

39:17 Drew Come on. No, no, this is going to be a cartoon.

39:19 Adam We will launch that and we'll do it. It'll be a one-two punch. We'll do the new cologne, which is for him, for her, for us, for them. For it. For it. I mean, you dump it all in your parts. You know what I mean?

39:33 Drew For them, yes.

39:34 Adam Yeah.

39:36 Drew No, but I think this is a Michael Nairn cartoon.

39:39 Adam Did it make any more of those, did it make any more of those sense that are for him and for her? To me, it was always like a blouse. It's like a shirt. It's for him. Okay. And for her. I'm like, I don't want it now.

39:50 Drew Yeah. Wait a minute. I'm going to get back to the superhero thing. How would I dress? Would I have a big plume, the cat with the big plume, Fedora?

39:58 Adam Okay. All doctors in cartoons wear lab coats.

40:01 Drew I'd have a lab coat. All right.

40:01 Adam Wherever they are.

40:02 Drew Anesthetoscope.

40:04 Adam Yeah. Slung over the shoulder, around the neck. Yeah. Because you're a doctor, you just wear lab coat everywhere.

40:10 Melinda Clarke But in the superhero outfit.

40:10 Drew Would that be the superhero outfit or would that be the by day outfit?

40:13 Adam That's the by day outfit.

40:14 Drew Perfect. Then I'd slip into...

40:17 Melinda Clarke Scrubs.

40:17 Drew Scrubs.

40:18 Melinda Clarke Skin tight.

40:21 Adam Yeah. Those aren't revealing enough.

40:23 Melinda Clarke It's a little skin tight scrub.

40:24 Adam We want to see contour. You know what I mean?

40:28 Melinda Clarke Of what?

40:29 Melinda Clarke One of those robe things.

40:30 Adam Physique contour.

40:31 Melinda Clarke Yeah.

40:31 Adam What about one of those... Oh, yeah. One of those...

40:34 Drew Hospital robes. Awesome hospital robes.

40:37 Adam Where your ass crack is showing all the time. Beautiful. Yes.

40:40 Drew Okay.

40:41 Melinda Clarke And clogs.

40:42 Drew And clogs. Nice. I like that. Surgeons wear clogs all the time.

40:44 Adam Surgeons wear clogs. What is that?

40:46 Drew I don't know.

40:46 Melinda Clarke I don't like that.

40:47 Melinda Clarke They're on their feet all day.

40:50 Adam I don't feel like I'm going to get Hep C for my surgeon. You know what I'm saying?

40:54 Drew From strong loyalties through his feet?

40:56 Adam No, I'm just talking about the kind of guys who wear clogs. You know what I mean?

41:00 Drew Okay, so now what do I step into?

41:01 Adam Hep C on a good day.

41:03 Drew What do I step into to turn into that robed creature?

41:08 Adam There's a few different. It could be that, it could be a medical bag. That's a little Felix Academy.

41:15 Drew I like that.

41:16 Adam All right, there's something to that. There's also the, you know, that curtain where you get changed or something, that weird little room where you get samples and specimens and all that kind of crap. That could be decent, but I don't know. I have it. I have the radiation thing.

41:33 Drew Oh, she's saying, she's got a great idea. I grab the paddles, zap myself, and I turn into the guy.

41:38 Adam Oh, like a crash card thing.

41:39 Drew Yeah, that's a good idea, right?

41:41 Adam Oh, no, that's good.

41:41 Drew The paddles around the house. That's better. Yeah, perfect.

41:43 Adam I had it that you were a, that you were a radiation technician. And that you have constant exposure to radiation.

41:52 Melinda Clarke Kind of an incredible hulk.

41:54 Drew Right.

41:55 Melinda Clarke Adrenaline. Yes.

41:56 Drew I get angry. The insurance companies piss me off. Oh, yeah. The robe comes on.

42:02 Adam Oh, yeah. That's awesome, Drew.

42:04 Drew Oh, I go after those insurance guys.

42:07 Adam Let's never do this.

42:07 Melinda Clarke It's called Marvel.

42:08 Adam Oh, you're just snapping lawyers' necks like chickens. Awesome. Melinda Clarke is here.

42:15 Drew What about protecting the prostitutes?

42:17 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's part of it, too.

42:19 Drew OK.

42:20 Adam Yeah. Clean needle program. Yeah.

42:24 Drew Clean the distributing needles.

42:25 Adam Yeah. Condoms.

42:26 Drew Snapping the necks of lawyers, condoms and prostitutes.

42:29 Adam Yeah.

42:29 Drew Saving the prostitutes.

42:30 Adam And the hee-shees.

42:32 Drew The hee-shees.

42:33 Adam Yeah. And the HIV testing, too.

42:36 Drew OK.

42:36 Adam Take Melinda Clarke here tonight from the OC. We'll take a quick break. Be right back after this.

42:50 Drew This portion of Love Line is sponsored in part by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.

43:08 Adam Hey, buddy, it's Love Line, man. That's Dr. Drew. Melinda Clarke's here tonight from the OC. The bewitching Melinda Clarke. Beautiful in the sort of...

43:20 Melinda Clarke Evil?

43:21 Adam No. Hot sorceress kind of way, like what would be on the side of a Mexican's van.

43:28 Melinda Clarke Right.

43:28 Adam You know what I mean? Hot.

43:30 Melinda Clarke So if I look at you long enough as a sorceress, I'm going to...

43:33 Adam It's sort of...

43:33 Melinda Clarke It really...

43:34 Melinda Clarke I think I've played roles like that.

43:36 Adam It suggests like hot sex, but there's trouble. There's... You're going to enjoy yourself for a certain period of time, a lot.

43:45 Drew Then you're going to get eaten alive.

43:46 Adam And then something bad's going to happen.

43:47 Melinda Clarke Right.

43:48 Melinda Clarke That's exactly what all the moms at school think of me too.

43:51 Melinda Clarke Just kidding.

43:53 Melinda Clarke There's that sorceress. Well, she did play a warrior god.

43:57 Melinda Clarke Yeah.

43:59 Adam Yeah.

43:59 Melinda Clarke No, yeah, the self-proclaimed goddess of chaos.

44:01 Adam What a... By the way, shocking that our resident lesbian here would know something about Xena, the warrior princess. Has there ever been a lesbian who's watched that show before? Drew, please, we know.

44:13 Drew You're a lesbian. How dare you? Are you judging again?

44:17 Adam You cannot judge. It's impossible. But huge Lesbo following Xena. Why not? You know what I mean?

44:24 Drew So what is the appeal?

44:25 Adam It's all there.

44:26 Drew It's sort of the Amazon warrior fantasy, right?

44:30 Adam What's the fantasy?

44:31 Drew I just don't know what it is for a guy. What is it for a woman? It's a good looking chick.

44:34 Adam Just wearing a leather tunic.

44:37 Drew But a guy is sort of a role reversal thing a little bit. It's sort of a fantasy.

44:40 Adam No, everyone likes hot.

44:42 Drew Yeah, yeah, I'm just saying the warrior.

44:43 Melinda Clarke It's the leather. It's gotta be.

44:45 Drew Yeah, they call it the, the analysts call it the castrating female complex. Yeah, that's what the symbol is. That's what the warrior.

44:56 Adam Yeah. Well, see, my thing is to hook up with her and then, surprise, surprise, I'd already been castrated by another female.

45:03 Drew Yeah.

45:04 Adam My mom did that many years ago.

45:06 Drew And your grandma.

45:07 Adam And my grandma. So good luck. Swing away with that sword. You'll find no home for it. I'm so mad at you.

45:14 Melinda Clarke I'm so mad at you, mom.

45:17 Adam I told you, Anderson, you can't not leave those mics on during the commercials.

45:24 Drew Samara. She's on six. She's already there. She's already there.

45:27 Adam But someone did a PSA about watering in the sink.

45:30 Drew Put it on hold.

45:30 Adam All right.

45:30 Drew All right. They're going to want.

45:31 Adam All right. Tim?

45:34 Yeah.

45:34 Adam You're 25?

45:35 Caller Yeah.

45:37 Adam, you are the vicar.

45:40 Adam Thank you.

45:41 Not anymore.

45:41 Adam I'm not the vicar of Christ anymore. I claimed that mantle when the pope was gone and we didn't have a new pope. And I thought vicar of Christ, that's a nickname I could live with. It's much better in Brillo hat.

45:54 You are my hero. Yeah, I did a PSA about peeing in the sink.

45:58 Adam You did a PSA about peeing in the sink.

46:00 Yeah, I did. Because I listen to you complain about these sorry PSAs all the time.

46:05 Adam Right.

46:05 Drew You're 25 years old. Where are you in school?

46:08 Caller Towson. I'm finishing up now.

46:10 Adam Where?

46:11 Drew Towson.

46:11 Caller In Maryland.

46:13 Adam Maryland.

46:13 Caller Yeah.

46:14 Adam Okay. All right. Is that a four year university?

46:17 Caller Yeah.

46:18 Adam And you did a public service announcement about urinating in the sink.

46:22 Caller Yeah.

46:23 Drew And what was the public service payoff?

46:25 Adam You're trying to get people to do it or something?

46:28 Caller I said water conservation. So my father says at the end there, he goes, please do your part. Conserve water. Pee in the sink.

46:38 Adam Yeah.

46:39 Caller All right.

46:40 Adam Thanks, Tim. Tim, by the way, I don't know what you're doing in Maryland. You should be out here in Hollywood.

46:44 Caller Oh, man.

46:45 Adam It's true. The creative spirit.

46:47 Caller Oh, yeah. But that's why I'm standing there. And the best don't go to Hollywood. Where do they go?

46:53 Adam They go to Bethesda?

46:54 Drew Where do they do their own thing?

46:55 Adam Where do they go?

46:56 Caller I'm going to be in Wilmington, North Carolina.

46:58 Melinda Clarke I was going to say North Carolina is really where people are going now.

47:01 Caller Yeah.

47:02 Adam There's all those songs about you haven't made it, you've made it in Wilmington.

47:06 Drew You and I have been to Wilmington.

47:08 Melinda Clarke He's not the first person I've heard that, actually.

47:10 Adam Oh, yeah.

47:11 Melinda Clarke Going to North Carolina to get into it.

47:13 Adam Sure. Sure. No, that's what it is. North Carolina is what the Seattle essentially was to music about eight, ten years ago. You know, that's the launching pad. Think about all the greats from Wilmington.

47:27 Drew Got Katie Holmes out there.

47:28 Adam Katie Holmes was there for like ten minutes whilst they're filming and then left immediately.

47:32 Melinda Clarke One Tree Hills there right now.

47:34 Adam Yeah, they're there, but they're they're split and they're all getting out. All right, let's take a little break. Melinda Clarke, not from Wilmington, is ironically from the OC, on the OC.

47:43 Drew USS North Carolina is from Wilmington.

47:46 Adam We will take ourselves. Okay, Drew.

47:48 Melinda Clarke Remember that? No.

47:49 Adam We'll take ourselves a break. Yeah, we'll be right back after this. Hey, buddy, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LAV. Melinda Clarke is here tonight. She's the bewitching redhead from the OC.

48:50 Drew And I'm still a little bewitched myself. Did you play a hand in your husband's death?

48:57 Melinda Clarke You know, this is a good question, because when I read the script, it has Julie stealing half of his Ambien and putting it in his drink, but he wouldn't drink it. And I thought, OK.

49:09 Adam That's a keeper to me. I've got a wife crush up drugs and put them in my drink.

49:13 Melinda Clarke I thought, now, is she actually going to try and kill him? Obviously, you could technically OD or just have him sleep through, turning in the divorce papers.

49:23 Right.

49:25 Drew Drew, how many?

49:26 Melinda Clarke She reneged.

49:27 Drew You were so worked up, it looked like it was an attempted murder.

49:29 Melinda Clarke Oh, she was definitely that desperate.

49:31 Adam How many Ambien would it take to knock you down?

49:34 Drew It's hard to die of an Ambien overdose.

49:37 Melinda Clarke That's what I said, because I tried, no.

49:40 Drew Well, Adam can tell you.

49:42 Melinda Clarke I heard a story of a professional athlete who had tried to commit suicide and took over 20, 30 and just woke up a couple of days later.

49:52 Drew Right. It's hard to overdose on that drug. But you could, and then also you could put him to sleep and push him to the pool.

49:57 Melinda Clarke Right. There's all kinds of things that. She definitely did not want to be a murderer, and that was the.

50:05 Adam You mean Julie. Julie. Say, talk about your character.

50:09 Melinda Clarke Like it's me.

50:10 Adam I just say Julie when. Yeah, that's awesome.

50:13 Drew She wouldn't really want to.

50:14 Melinda Clarke No, it's never just Julie, it's Julie Cooper.

50:16 Adam Yeah, Julie Cooper.

50:17 Melinda Clarke Or Julie Cooper Nickel.

50:18 Adam Julie Cooper Nickel would not do that. I do that on this show. Adam would make a fart joke, but not a diarrhea joke.

50:26 Drew Masturbation joke, but not a diarrhea joke.

50:27 Adam Adam wouldn't make, yeah.

50:29 Drew He wouldn't.

50:29 Melinda Clarke Yeah.

50:31 Adam All right, let's talk to Samara. And then I want to talk to Rebecca. It doesn't want, okay, let's see. Samara?

50:42 Yeah.

50:43 Adam You don't want to, I know it's upsetting, you can drink and vote and be eligible for the draft or something. Doesn't want a boyfriend to give you oral sex. Hates it.

50:57 Caller No, I have a problem with it, like I just start to cry.

51:01 Drew Uh-oh.

51:03 Yeah.

51:04 Drew What happened?

51:06 Caller Well, I've been in a relationship with them for like three years, and we've been like sexually active for about a year and a half, and I can't have them give me oral sex, I just start to cry. But it all goes back to like when I was young.

51:19 Adam Speak up, Samara.

51:21 Caller Okay, apparently there's a rumor in my family that one of my uncles, that molested me. There's no proof.

51:30 Drew Well, the proof is your behavior currently, that sort of fits with that.

51:34 Caller Yeah. I kind of figured that, but.

51:36 Adam And by the way, there's not usually surveillance footage of people getting molested, you just know you were molested because you got molested.

51:44 Caller I was very young, I think I was like one or two.

51:48 Adam Well, let me let's just try it. First off, the fact that there are rumors in the family that a other family member molested you means you got a crappy family no matter what, whether there's molestation or not. Yeah.

52:01 Yeah, I knew that.

52:02 Adam I will try to figure this out. Yes, you're acting like somebody who was a molested. You sound, your voice tonally sounds like someone who's molested. What's going on with the rest of your family? Your brothers and sisters?

52:13 Caller I have a younger sister. She's like 10 and 11. She's fairly young. But yeah, the rest of my family is kind of messed up also.

52:24 Drew All right. So what would you like us to help you with?

52:29 Caller Why is it that I can't have them do that?

52:31 Drew Because it gives you flashbacks, or at least emotional flashbacks, to the trauma.

52:37 Caller Even if I don't know, like, like.

52:39 Drew Even if you don't have actual visual memory of it, there's sort of a visceral memory, there's sort of a memory left behind in your body memory, let's say.

52:49 Adam And by the way, let me tell you, when you say visceral, most our listeners think of that part of the steak that you pull out of your mouth and chew it up, give it to the dog.

53:00 Drew Is it tough?

53:01 Adam You can't really eat it. I don't know. I just think they would think of that. I'm going to go with that. Samantha.

53:09 Caller Samara.

53:11 Adam Oh, Samara. Sorry.

53:13 Drew Savannah.

53:14 Adam I saw it called Samantha. Samara, Samara, Samantha. Do we need both?

53:20 Drew Okay.

53:21 Adam Do you know what visceral means?

53:23 Caller Yeah.

53:25 Adam I knew it.

53:25 Drew These phones. These phones keep coming out. They've got to fix these phones. All right.

53:29 Adam Anyway, I don't know if she said yes or no.

53:30 Drew Okay.

53:31 Adam All right. What does it mean?

53:34 Caller Excuse me?

53:36 Adam All right. Let's just keep moving on here, Drew. All right. Therapy, baby. Your family's a mess. How about some therapy?

53:42 Drew Or how about just avoiding those things he finds upsetting?

53:43 Adam How about you just let him give you oral sex and now you get used to it.

53:47 Caller But I start to cry.

53:49 Adam All right. But eventually you dry up and he's able to.

53:53 Drew Or you avoid that particular action if that's the one that has such a disturbing sort of reaction.

53:59 Melinda Clarke How does he feel about it?

54:01 Caller Yeah, we do.

54:02 Caller He, he, he.

54:02 Adam Oh, it dodged.

54:04 Caller He first understands. He watches it.

54:06 Adam Yeah.

54:07 Drew I can just imagine if that were you.

54:08 Adam Yeah, here's how that conversation would go. Go ahead and start explaining it to me. Yeah, yeah, okay. Enough said.

54:14 Drew No, no, seriously. Fine, now move on.

54:17 Adam Keep moving.

54:17 Drew But I really want you to be.

54:18 Adam Listen.

54:19 Drew I feel like I'm inadequate again.

54:20 Adam I feel like all is forgiven.

54:25 Drew Yeah.

54:28 Adam That's on you, right?

54:29 Drew What? That's what if you do it to me?

54:31 Adam Yeah. I can't do it to you.

54:33 Drew Right. She can do it to you.

54:34 Adam Oh, hey, sweetie, sweetie.

54:38 Drew Come here.

54:39 Adam Come here. Come here. Get down.

54:42 Melinda Clarke I was just curious how a rumor is verbalized in a family.

54:48 Drew Interesting.

54:49 Adam Word on the street.

54:50 Melinda Clarke Word on the street is.

54:51 Drew Huggy Bear came in one night.

54:53 Adam Samantha.

54:55 Samara.

54:56 Adam I mean, Samara. Here's my problem.

54:59 Drew Never heard of Samara before.

55:00 Adam No, maybe, but here's the thing. I don't care enough. I got to be honest with everybody. I see A, I see S, A, M, A, and I'm not completing. My brain's just moving on. That's where I just, I'm like, you know, the computer that says, did you mean? When you make up a, like I go to the closest, that's how, it's really how your brain is. What's the closest to this? And that's why, all right. Here we go. All right. What's your nose?

55:28 Caller Excuse me?

55:28 Drew Samara, Samara. Yeah.

55:30 Adam So what do you mean there's a rumor with your family about molestation?

55:35 Caller Basically, I found out about a year and a half ago that my uncle, when he was living with his mother at the house, she kicked him out. And the reason was because he did that.

55:49 Drew Who did he do it to?

55:51 Caller He did it to me. My grandma kicked my uncle out for doing that to me.

55:54 Drew How did they find this? They walked in on him or something?

55:56 Caller I think my grandma did.

55:58 Drew And she didn't have him arrested right at that moment?

56:00 Adam No.

56:01 I don't know.

56:03 Adam I don't know what she did.

56:05 Melinda Clarke Your mother told you this or your grandmother?

56:07 Caller My mother told me my grandma is dead.

56:09 Drew Where were you living? It sounds like something like she was living in a chihuahua.

56:13 Adam A giant shoe. Where were you living?

56:16 Caller I was living with my mom at the time.

56:18 Adam Alright. Samara.

56:20 Caller Yeah.

56:22 Adam Here's the thing baby. Don't have any kids. Can you not have kids?

56:26 Drew No.

56:27 Adam Please. No kids. Secondly, a little therapy wouldn't hurt for the chaos of the family.

56:33 Drew Be careful with who you're attracted to. You're going to be attracted to difficult people.

56:37 Adam And thirdly, look, if there's something you just can't handle off.

56:41 Drew Don't do it.

56:42 Adam Or do a bunch of it and see what happens.

56:45 Drew Yeah, but she'll get a post-traumatic stress disorder.

56:47 Adam She will?

56:48 Drew Yeah, yeah.

56:49 Adam I don't know.

56:50 Drew This is a wiring issue. This is not something you can unwire.

56:56 Adam You want to do what that would sound like again if you were telling me that?

56:59 Drew So, honey-

57:01 Adam Yeah, yeah.

57:02 Drew No, no, that's cool. And it's like-

57:05 Adam Let's watch Shiva. No pauses. Let's go.

57:09 Drew And when you do that to me, it makes me feel inadequate. I wish I could do it. I wish I was able to do it. Never again.

57:13 Melinda Clarke Never again.

57:16 Adam It would be so easy.

57:18 Melinda Clarke So, are victims of abuse, it manifests in their voice, are they childlike?

57:23 Adam Oh, yes. They're still not childlike.

57:24 Drew That Marilyn Monroe voice, yeah, it's a little girl voice. Yeah.

57:27 Adam Yeah.

57:28 Melinda Clarke Wow.

57:30 Adam Think about your girlfriends.

57:31 Drew Yeah.

57:32 Adam Think about the crazy ones with the squeaky voice. And then I'll never have a couple of wine coolers and start saying, tell me about your stuff, dad, and have them get weird on you. Just watch. Samantha. I mean, Marissa. Wait a minute. Samara. And by the way, is Samara and Marissa, are these actual names?

57:53 Drew Yes. Marissa. You're on Marissa, let's go.

57:58 Adam We need Samantha, the Samara, we need a Melissa and a Marissa.

58:01 Drew Marissa, what's up?

58:02 Adam Jesus Christ.

58:03 Drew Speak quick before he goes off about your name.

58:05 Caller Hey guys.

58:06 Adam What's happening?

58:07 Caller I have a quick question for you.

58:08 Drew She has different voices and similar.

58:10 Adam Yeah.

58:11 Caller I'm sorry?

58:12 Drew Go ahead. I'm going to say Marilyn Monroe is severely sexually abused. Right. And people automatically, their culture said no, except that is, that's a healthy vocal quality for a female. No, no, that's a sign of severe abuse. Marissa, what's up?

58:28 Caller Okay. Well, back in February, I was going down on my boyfriend and I dislocated my jaw. I had to go to the emergency room and, well, several hours later, everything was fine.

58:40 Drew Let me tell, describe people what that means. The jaw gets locked open.

58:44 Melinda Clarke Right.

58:45 Drew Yeah. So she's walking in with her mouth wide open and they have to, they shoot her with some verset or something.

58:52 Melinda Clarke Yeah.

58:52 Drew Just go from behind and just, just snap it, snap it back.

58:56 Melinda Clarke Wow.

58:56 Drew No, that's a, it's actually, that's like a rubber, like, it sort of slides back.

59:00 Adam And they snap a shot?

59:02 Drew Not snap a shot, it's push it back into position.

59:04 Adam But that doesn't damage the penis at all?

59:06 Drew The penis.

59:07 Adam Or is she finished by that?

59:08 Drew No, first you excise the penis.

59:10 Melinda Clarke Huh? Yeah.

59:11 Drew Yeah, you move, remove the penis.

59:12 Adam Okay. All right. Well, all right. So did this interrupt the BJ?

59:19 Caller Did I what?

59:20 Adam Did this, did you, did this interrupt the BJ? Did the guy finish?

59:25 Caller Um, no, obviously not.

59:27 Drew Well, now it's a tragedy, right?

59:28 Adam Yeah. Well, no, there's, there's multiple victims here. It's not just.

59:32 Caller I know. I know. Lose, lose the situation.

59:34 Adam All right. So you actually had to go to the hospital.

59:37 Caller Yeah. I went to the emergency room and $3,000 later, it was all good.

59:42 Adam Yeah. Now let me just explain the difference between men and women.

59:45 Drew Hey, let me have a question about it first.

59:46 Adam I got a question. I got something to say first.

59:48 Drew Well, show the question first. Real quick.

59:49 Adam I got something to say.

59:49 Drew All right, you say it.

59:51 Adam My thing is a man would not go to the emergency room for this. He would shut his own jaw. He would not do it, and neither would his buddy. If these were guys, he would be like, no, I'll get it shut.

1:00:01 Drew Right. There was a famous story at the county hospital at work. There was a guy that got priapism.

1:00:08 Adam Penis.

1:00:08 Drew Yes. Penis got hard and painful and wouldn't go down. And same thing. The woman's going to go to the emergency room. He won't do it. He won't do it. He started smacking, trying to do it. He finally just closed in the window and ruptured it.

1:00:19 Adam Now slammed it in the window.

1:00:22 Melinda Clarke Are those urban legends?

1:00:23 Drew I had another guy who actually also fractured his penis. I interviewed this guy. And again, his wife, they heard this huge snap. They were having sex. Because he pulled out and she was like, Oh my God, you got to go to the emergency room. And he was like, No, no, no. Until, until.

1:00:39 Adam It blew up.

1:00:40 Drew Yeah. All right.

1:00:42 Adam Now that's not an urban legend.

1:00:44 Drew That's when he runs into the emergency room.

1:00:45 Adam All right. Melinda, I'm sorry. You had a question involving or her.

1:00:48 Melinda Clarke I was.

1:00:49 Adam Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead.

1:00:52 Drew Marissa. Yes. Julie Cooper from OC has a question. Yeah.

1:00:56 Melinda Clarke I was just curious if he's quite endowed.

1:01:00 Caller Yeah.

1:01:01 Melinda Clarke Okay.

1:01:02 Melinda Clarke There you go.

1:01:03 Adam Hate this guy.

1:01:04 Caller I mean, I think so.

1:01:06 Adam I could get my car between Madonna's Gap. And half, and half.

1:01:12 Drew You think so, Marissa?

1:01:14 Caller Well, I don't know.

1:01:16 Drew You broke your jaw on him. Wow. You're not in a position to make that assessment.

1:01:21 Adam It's really, this is up there with killing a man with your hands, you know, like in the ring.

1:01:26 Drew Yeah.

1:01:26 Adam You know what I mean? Like, it's not, it's one of these titles that no one feels great about, but there's a certain amount of pride, like as a guy. You just love this. Like, what got you out of boxing? Kill the man in the ring. You know what I mean?

1:01:38 Drew With my hand.

1:01:39 Adam Yeah.

1:01:39 Drew Let's see if she destroyed a woman's jaw.

1:01:41 Adam She's scared.

1:01:42 Drew Let's see if this guy has caused any other trouble.

1:01:44 Adam Uh-oh.

1:01:45 Drew Has he ever done this to somebody before?

1:01:48 Caller No, no, actually, I don't.

1:01:50 Drew You sure you didn't just go, here we go, gotta get some reset, let's go.

1:01:53 Adam I'm sorry? This didn't happen. He didn't yell like, not this again, and then go for his kit.

1:02:00 Melinda Clarke Are you afraid to do this now?

1:02:03 Caller I'm sorry, what?

1:02:04 Melinda Clarke Are you still with this guy?

1:02:05 Caller No, actually, we just broke up.

1:02:08 Adam Really?

1:02:08 Drew Yeah. Are you afraid to re-enter that ring?

1:02:13 Caller Yes, I mean, I haven't done it since. I pretty much have full range of motion in my jaw again, but I'm wondering, am I gonna be more susceptible now to dislocating my jaw?

1:02:25 Drew Well, if for no other reason, you know this could happen.

1:02:27 Adam All right, and please do not share this with the next guy, the next mister in the world.

1:02:33 Caller Yeah, I was planning on it.

1:02:36 Adam Because it will come out at some point, and then the poor guy's gonna be like talking to one of his friends and be like, yeah, Marissa won't perform oral. What happened? She was molested. Worse, worse, much worse. The girl, what happened? Our old boyfriend was so endowed, so girthy, hung like a paint can, that tries she might to perform oral on him. Eventually had to just be rushed to the hospital.

1:03:02 Drew Painful thing, just to think about the jaws of disillusionment.

1:03:05 Adam Yeah, yeah, awesome. Hi, Drew. I want to, oh, fetish, bad, starting.

1:03:11 Drew Rebecca.

1:03:11 Adam I just want to talk to Rebecca for a second. Rebecca?

1:03:16 Yes, hello.

1:03:17 Adam Hello, you're 18?

1:03:18 Caller Yes. I have a problem.

1:03:21 Adam All right.

1:03:22 Caller I think that, well, actually, I'm not really in love with this guy, but I've been with this guy that's 32. Since I was 14 and I'm 18 now, but I got with him when he was 28, so.

1:03:34 Adam Oh, 14 and 28?

1:03:36 Drew Yeah, it's just not.

1:03:38 Adam It was a different time. It was 2003, 2002, something like that.

1:03:43 Drew Rebecca, you, now what? You're gaining some insight into how creepy and disturbed it is that a guy that age would be with a 14-year-old?

1:03:49 Caller Yeah. But see, the thing in my life, it's that, like, oh, my God, I can't believe I'm on Love Live, but.

1:03:56 Drew Well, thanks for bringing that up.

1:03:57 Caller Like, the people in my life, they all knew that I was with him, but nobody really cared. Like, even my mom knew.

1:04:04 Adam Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. I listen. I've been wrong the last 10 or 12 times. I've shouted this out, but I can tell a Jew. I know. I know this is a Jewish family. Absolutely. 100%. I've been wrong.

1:04:21 Drew Foraging on the dollar with a 28-year-old guy. Yeah.

1:04:23 Adam Parents know about. Rebecca.

1:04:26 Caller Uh-huh.

1:04:27 Drew Was that one of the possibilities, too?

1:04:28 Adam Asian.

1:04:29 Drew Yeah.

1:04:29 Adam You're Jewish or Asian?

1:04:31 Caller I'm white.

1:04:32 Adam I can't believe it. No one in your family is Jewish.

1:04:36 Caller Nope.

1:04:37 Adam I don't believe it, Drew. I can't believe it. My instincts are usually pretty good about everything else. But my have to be either Jewish or Asian thing. Pow. I'm like over 25 on that. Cannot believe it. Man. All right. Well, see, just goes to show the stereotypes.

1:04:56 Caller Yeah.

1:04:58 Adam Not right. Not right at all. Rebecca.

1:05:02 Caller Uh-huh.

1:05:03 Adam Do we ever feel like we're just doing our own little radio show for us and no one else knows what we're talking about?

1:05:07 Caller 90% of the time.

1:05:08 Adam Including people who work for the show. 90. That seems like a low estimate. Yeah. All right. So Rebecca.

1:05:15 Caller Uh-huh.

1:05:16 Adam Not Jewish.

1:05:17 Caller No.

1:05:18 Adam Man.

1:05:19 Drew All right. So what's the question?

1:05:21 Caller Um, how do I get over this guy? Because I still like him because I've been with him for about four years.

1:05:29 Drew This is like any other 14 to 18 year relationship.

1:05:31 Adam You don't know how to be together with him currently.

1:05:34 Caller No, I left him. We used to fight a lot and it kind of it got pretty abusive. Like I would hit him, but then he would end up kicking my ass.

1:05:45 Adam Okay. Not a Jew. Not Jewish. I just, I just can I drew. I just I got it. I got to call her a liar. I'm calling her a liar. When I hear about the physical violence, when I hear about the huge age separation, the parents condoning it, I just, I just, I just know what I know.

1:06:04 Melinda Clarke I have a question. What kind of parents let their kids with Michael Jackson?

1:06:08 Adam Jews.

1:06:09 Melinda Clarke Jews.

1:06:10 Adam All Jews. Drew, am I right? They're all Jewish. All of them. They have, you know, the family that's on trial right now. All Jews. Or Asian. It's Jew or Asian. It's always Jew or Asian. Physical violence. It's Jew. Substance abuse.

1:06:26 Drew Even those parents were supplanted by Rebecca's mom. All right.

1:06:31 Adam So yeah. Horrible parenting, by the way, Rebecca. Yes. Where's your dad?

1:06:37 Caller He's at work right now.

1:06:39 Adam Where does he work?

1:06:40 Caller He works at some company in Hollywood called Com-

1:06:44 Adam Oh, doing in the business, doing a little graveyard post work.

1:06:48 Caller Yeah. I think you know my aunt, by the way.

1:06:51 Adam Oh, yeah?

1:06:52 Drew Well, that's embarrassing by bringing that up.

1:06:53 Adam Yeah, go ahead. Tell me her name.

1:06:54 Caller Her name is Bonnie.

1:06:56 Drew Oh, block that out, Anderson.

1:06:58 Adam Really? Why do we know that?

1:07:00 Drew I don't know if you want to-

1:07:01 Adam I don't know. She wants me to know.

1:07:03 Drew Remember the professor that ended up being a librarian? I mean, your guy with the beanbag chair ended up being a librarian?

1:07:10 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah.

1:07:11 Drew That was a good experience, was it?

1:07:12 Adam I don't know, but I don't even know who she's talking about. All right. Anyway, we're dear friends, me and your aunt. Oh, yeah. So anyway, Rebecca, this is a good thing. This guy got you way too early. This is abuse, obviously.

1:07:26 Melinda Clarke You've left him. Good thing.

1:07:28 Adam Good thing. Now the healing shall begin.

1:07:31 Drew Yeah. Give it some time. Date some people your own age. I wouldn't say necessarily anything has to be at this point, but any relationship between a 14- to 18-year-old, from 14 to 18 is difficult to get over. It just always is. That's all you've ever known. You don't know how to end these things. You don't know how to assess it. You don't know who you are in a relationship. Start dating other people and just be very careful. Realize you're going to be drawn to abusive guys because this guy has really set you up.

1:07:52 Adam I just, I can't just burbank. Let's try one thing. Let's try one thing. Just quick. Just me just saying. Did you enjoy your bat mitzvah? Shh, shh. Let her answer.

1:08:02 Caller A bat mitzvah? I don't even know what that is.

1:08:07 Melinda Clarke I don't buy it.

1:08:09 Adam I just thought I could trick her. I said bat mitzvah by the way. But I thought I could trick her. All right. Drew, I guess once in a while I'm wrong. You know what I mean?

1:08:18 Drew It's hard to believe.

1:08:19 Adam But it's hard to believe. It's just hard to believe. All right. Let's say hi to Ashley, who's 21. Ashley?

1:08:27 Caller How are you?

1:08:28 Adam What's happening?

1:08:30 Caller Nothing actually. I'm really glad that I got through tonight. I've actually been a longtime fan since I was 12, 13. I actually called in when I was 13. I sang with Destiny's Child on your show before. It was so exciting.

1:08:42 Adam You sang Say My Name?

1:08:44 Caller Yeah. You remember that?

1:08:56 Adam Ashley, shut your pie hole so you can hear you singing with Destiny's Child.

1:09:00 Caller You know what? That's her singing on the actual, talking on the actual drought.

1:09:04 Adam Oh, she's talking on the thing. I was yelling at a 13 year old, Ashley.

1:09:08 Caller Yes.

1:09:09 Adam I thought she was singing with her, though.

1:09:11 Caller She's saying like, Oh my God, I can't believe this.

1:09:14 Adam Oh, she was, that's her. It is her.

1:09:31 Drew There she is again. Well, somehow it's satisfying that after eight years, you finally got a chance to yell at her for doing that.

1:09:36 Adam I didn't want to yell at you at 13. I probably did. I can't believe there's my voice. I must be on a third track yelling at you.

1:09:42 Caller Oh, it's totally okay. I love you guys.

1:09:45 Adam Wow. I do remember that. Destiny's Child came in here. We met them at the like Teen Choice Awards. They were very young, fresh, fresh-faced gals. They came running up to us. They said they were dying to do the show. We said the radio show. They said, what radio show? We want to be on MTV.

1:10:04 Caller Right.

1:10:05 Adam We're like, well, you can do the radio show. And they came in and they were sweethearts and they were singing their ass off. Yeah.

1:10:10 Caller Yeah. And at the very end, I came in and sang and I knew the words and they were all amazed. Like, wow, how do you know the words for a call?

1:10:16 Drew I remember that.

1:10:17 Adam Yeah. Anderson didn't keep that part of the call because it was flattering.

1:10:22 Drew So what's up tonight?

1:10:23 Adam Wow. That's enough. Hold on.

1:10:25 Drew No, no, no. Come on.

1:10:26 Adam We got to take a break.

1:10:27 Drew All right.

1:10:28 Adam Wow. She was 13 when Destiny's Child was in here?

1:10:33 Drew Is that what she said?

1:10:33 Adam She said she was 13.

1:10:35 Drew I blocked that part out. Eight years ago. I don't want to hear it.

1:10:37 Adam It could have been eight years ago.

1:10:39 Melinda Clarke Yeah. That's when MTV was.

1:10:42 Melinda Clarke Huh?

1:10:42 Adam Huh? Ashley?

1:10:44 Caller I was actually 16 when I sang.

1:10:46 Drew All right.

1:10:46 Melinda Clarke Much better.

1:10:47 Drew Much better. Shoo. Five years ago.

1:10:49 Adam Okay.

1:10:49 Caller Yeah, five years ago.

1:10:50 Adam Okay.

1:10:51 Caller I'll hold on. I don't care.

1:10:52 Melinda Clarke All right.

1:10:54 Adam You have no choice. Here's the other thing too. It's weird too because she didn't sound, 13, sounded like her now.

1:11:00 Drew Right. Same voice.

1:11:00 Adam She came into puberty or something like that. Yeah, yeah, let's play like we're in the pool.

1:11:11 Melinda Clarke Shut up!

1:11:12 Adam You're it.

1:11:13 Drew Let's take a break.

1:11:14 Adam No, alright, Michelle said.

1:11:16 Drew Close your eyes. She got it.

1:11:25 Adam Yeah. Melinda Clarke is here tonight from the OC. That's how she does it in the OC. Take yourselves. They play Adam Corolla's there. Marco Polis, how they do it in the OC. Take a quick break.

1:11:36 Drew Montage all you hear.

1:11:37 Adam We'll be right back with Ashley after this.

1:11:41 Caller Thank you for calling Loveline. Your call will be answered in the order it seems interesting.

1:11:50 Drew This portion of Loveline is...

1:11:59 Adam Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Just watching the TV through the window in the other studio.

1:12:08 Drew Oh, there it is.

1:12:09 Adam Yeah. It's my favorite commercial. Melinda Clarke is here tonight from the OC.

1:12:15 Caller You want to describe what your favorite commercial is?

1:12:18 Adam I'm obsessed with these commercials. It's started many years ago with all these sort of disclosures on the Do Not Attempt Closed. Yeah, well, that one, that's one thing. But all the automobile ones where they can't show a guy driving down a street without saying to a professional driver, do not attempt close course. Some of this stuff isn't stunt driving. It's just actually driving a car. You can't do.

1:12:42 Drew And some of it is as far the other way.

1:12:44 Melinda Clarke It's just computer generated.

1:12:45 Adam And then there's the Toyota Tundra one where the guy's actually jumping his Tundra over like 40 buses towing a ski boat in the air six stories. And it says not an actual representation of Tundra towing capacity. And then it says close course and then says do not attempt. And I just realized effing attorneys. God damn it. They just they screw with everybody all the time. There's nothing in our society that they don't put their stink on.

1:13:14 Melinda Clarke But they're kind of motivated by these silly fraternity pranks almost.

1:13:18 Adam They're, yeah, well, look, people are stupid and do stupid things. In Europe, they're called idiots or victims or whatever you want to call them.

1:13:27 Drew Stupid.

1:13:29 Adam Here, they're millionaires because they sue their way to because they saw something done in a movie and they tried it themselves.

1:13:35 Drew Now, this particular commercial.

1:13:36 Adam This particular commercial is a Subaru commercial. It's a new Subaru commercial where they're touting the excellence of the all-wheel drive Subaru and they're showing other cars driving down the street, front wheel or rear wheel drive, just either the rear wheel ones actually doing sort of a wheelie all the way down the street and the front wheel ones basically all the way to the car on the front or the rear and the back off the ground 10 feet. And then it says, do not attempt. As if that was a possibility. Is there, like, when you saw the movie Phantasia, did they have a disclosure, do not attempt to summon mops?

1:14:16 Drew Well, they've got to have that now in movies too, of course.

1:14:18 Adam Yeah, yeah, it's like-

1:14:19 Melinda Clarke It's Kirby the Love Bug.

1:14:20 Drew Oh, do not attempt.

1:14:21 Adam Do not attempt.

1:14:21 Drew Do not talk to your car.

1:14:22 Adam Do not attempt to wheelie your car down the street. Do not attempt to drive on the front wheel solely.

1:14:28 Drew Do not attempt to sit in the backseat and have your car drive you where you need to go. On a race course.

1:14:34 Adam That's right, that's right. And I just realized, lawyers, and you guys don't even realize it, just destroying everything from having to drink out of a paper cup to that great big yellow iron on the visor of your nice car that tells you about the airbag safety and all that crap. I tried to get one off with a heat gun and actually burnt a hole in my visor the other day and went insane.

1:14:57 Melinda Clarke Which car?

1:14:59 Adam I said I want to kill these sons of bitches. People, they've invaded our lives with their crappy disclaimers, do not attempt and all this everywhere. Can't we rise up? What can we do? I would love it if Subaru said, are you high? We're not putting that on this thing. Because it's physically impossible, even really to attempt it. Like if you were gonna attempt to drive your car like it was a wheelie van from the 1970s, what would you do? Pop the clutch, install it, or peel out a little bit? How would you attempt to get the front wheels off?

1:15:34 Drew And then drive?

1:15:35 Adam Physically, mathematically impossible for you to do it in any commercial vehicle. There's no 500 horsepower Ferrari that could even get the front wheels an eighth of an inch off the ground. Impossible. Does not work. So, why do you have to put a disclaimer against the impossible? And how about somebody standing up and going, hey, pencil pushers, you geeks, you're high. We're not doing it.

1:15:59 Drew How about that? That's the point is if the companies had some way votes, they could not do it. They don't have to. No law that says they have to do it.

1:16:06 Adam How about Subaru says, no, no warranty. We're doing a nice commercial. No disclaimer. We're doing a nice commercial here. We don't want to screw it up with this distracting white lettering. And we're not going to do it. And by the way, if someone tries to pop a wheelie in their car and sue us, they're going to lose.

1:16:23 Drew You know, it's symptomatic if something's happened throughout our society, is we don't have any way votes about anything.

1:16:28 Adam No.

1:16:28 Drew The FCC thing now, no. Well, the cable stations is a very similar thing.

1:16:32 Adam Nobody's got, I'll tell you something. Whenever they have, like they would do it over a Kimmel once in a while. Every year, if you're in any kind of production, work anywhere with more than like four and a half people, you have to have these sexual harassment sensitivity meetings where everyone's got to stop work for two hours and then go sit in some big room while some frigid bitch who never got in late a day in her life talks about what and asks adults, can anyone tell me what sex, oh, shut up. You'll know when you're being sexually harassed and you'll take care of that person. Do we all have to stop work and have a meeting? What do we need to learn as, you know, 40 year old adults? What? Sexual harassment? What is this? Yeah, yeah, no, a chick walked, you know, a secretary.

1:17:17 Drew She asked for it.

1:17:17 Adam She was asking for it. I was just playing when I pulled her skirt up over her head and started spanking her in the conference room. Really? There's a law against this? Here's all I'm saying, everybody, here's what everyone needs to do. I do it, I want you all to do it too. Stand up, stand up. Next time your business says there's a mandatory sexual harassment, now I'm not going and here's why I'm not going. You need to prove there's a reason I need to go to this meeting. I need to have some priors. There needs to be something in my past that would suggest that I'm dangerous and liable to sexually harass. I have a clean record, I'm a good employee and no I'm not going to stop work and go attend this meeting because a handful of idiot lawyers want us to do it. No, let's all not go and if you all don't go then what? They fire everybody? No, they don't fire everyone. They get over it and they move forward. Just don't go. Just have everybody on the floor go, no, we're not doing it.

1:18:11 Drew Turn left on the green arrow, the red arrow.

1:18:14 Adam Let me say this too and here's, I believe you could win this stuff, which is there's a mandatory sexual harassment meeting. Okay, I'm a married man who has zero history of sexual harassment, hypothetically. I'm not talking about me.

1:18:27 Drew No.

1:18:27 Adam I'm talking about one.

1:18:28 Drew Yeah, you were. Let's talk about a guy who didn't have any.

1:18:30 Adam Let's say I was. Okay, now I'm not going to the meeting because I'm a born again Christian who's been married for 18 years. I've only been with one woman. I've never so much looked at. I'm not going to go to this meeting. We're going to fire you. To me, that's a lawsuit. Do you see what I'm saying?

1:18:48 Drew Of course it should be.

1:18:48 Adam That should be a lawsuit. You firing me because I'm not going to your crappy sexual harassment meeting about nothing. And it's not relevant because I have no history of this. Let's all just stand up. Everyone just stand up. Don't do it. I wouldn't go to Kimmel's ones. I wouldn't go to the Man Show ones. I won't go to them. Just don't go to them. Just everybody don't go. What do you think they're going to do? Fire everyone in the company? No. They'll just say they did it and move forward. That'll be it. And we get our dignity. And it's that way with everything. We can do it. It happens all the time. I own a warehouse. I let the guy out of the lease like a year early. And he wanted me to sign a paper. And I said, no. I'm giving him my word. You can leave. When you're ready to leave, go ahead and leave. He needed documentation. So I wouldn't sue him. I wouldn't whatever. And I said, no, I'm not going to give it to you. You want to get out? Get out. I'm not signing anything. You have to take my word for it. And he left. And who cares? We could all do that. We all don't have to go running to the lawyer and get the stuff drafted up all the time. There's something called dignity. We could all have dignity. It'd be awesome. But we got a handful of a-holes effing it up for all of us.

1:19:58 Drew Well, they have their rights. How dare you? They have rights.

1:20:00 Adam We need to crush them. We need to crush them like roaches. You understand? There's 1% of society that's effing it up for all of us. And instead of crushing that 1%, we all just go ahead and conform. All right. All you guys who've never sexually harassed and never dreamt of it, we're going to a meeting. Put your pencils down. We're going to kill 2 hours in the middle of the day. Think about what that is times productivity, times all the workforce in this country.

1:20:25 Drew Ridiculous.

1:20:26 Adam All the big corporations. Oh, Pepsi. Oh, yeah, Pepsi. You got...

1:20:29 Drew How about the money they spend setting it all up?

1:20:31 Adam Pepsi, you got a million people you employ. You got it. What's it cost Pepsi? What's it cost GM? What's it cost Ford? What's it cost any Sony? What's it cost any large company? Just sexual harassment every year? That's a couple million bucks.

1:20:44 Melinda Clarke Well, it seems like it was corporate America that really started pushing this. But even small businesses now.

1:20:49 Adam I know. It's ridiculous. Please.

1:20:51 Melinda Clarke We live in a society of assignment of blame. We're seeing it as an accident and we can't have closure until somebody pays for an accident.

1:20:59 Adam Let's all drive through those godforsaken red left turn arrows that don't do anything in the middle of the night. Let's not go to the sexual harassment meetings. And if you own a company and they want you to put a disclaimer, says do not do a wheelie in your Ford Taurus, don't put it on there. Let's just not do it. Let's see what happens. I bet magically a lot of it goes away. And listen, that part where you're going to get fired if you don't go to the thing, don't go to the thing. You're not going to get fired. They just say that. You think they're really going to fire an employee because you didn't attend that meeting? Absolutely not. And by the way, there would be a lawsuit. Of course, I never went to those. Don't do it. Everyone just stand up. Just stand up with me and don't do it.

1:21:39 Melinda Clarke All right.

1:21:40 Drew Take a break. No, no, let's take a break.

1:21:42 Adam Let's take a break.

1:21:43 Drew Let's take a call.

1:21:43 Adam True learning college that finishes aren't bad.

1:21:46 Drew Ashley's the singer with Destiny's Child. Oh. So Ashley. She's still waiting for it.

1:21:51 Adam Sorry, baby.

1:21:51 Drew All right. Here you go.

1:21:52 Caller It's totally okay. Okay. I actually had a question kind of for Dr. Drew, but I'd like to hear what Adam has to say too, of course.

1:21:57 Drew Yeah.

1:21:58 Adam I'm not used to public speaking.

1:22:00 Caller I've been listening to the show for a long time. And I've noticed that in the patterns of when, when you're talking about sexual behaviors and the way people prefer things in the bedroom and stuff, I was taking a human sexualities class where we learned about paraphilias and both coercive and non-coercive. And I noticed how you guys are really, really strongly.

1:22:20 Adam What does she call it?

1:22:21 Drew Coercive and non-coercive.

1:22:23 Adam No, paraphilias.

1:22:24 Drew That's an old name, paraphilia. What is that?

1:22:27 Adam Is that what it's called?

1:22:27 Drew No, there's different diagnostic categories now, but that's what they used to call it.

1:22:31 Adam They used to call it what?

1:22:31 Melinda Clarke Yeah.

1:22:32 Drew Abnormal sexual behaviors.

1:22:34 Adam Oh, okay.

1:22:35 Caller And they're considered abnormal right now. So I, for some reason, I've noticed you pretty much, you and Drew both associate, like, of some sort of abuse with those behaviors, correct?

1:22:46 Drew With, with, with pedophilia, yes. And it's almost-

1:22:50 Caller Pedophilia, but not with any pedophilia period, any kind of sexual preference, like-

1:22:55 Drew No, no, no. We talk, we talk about the, I mean, this is well, it's pretty well established that, that fetishes and that kind of pedophilia are some sort of attempt to deal with overwhelming emotion.

1:23:06 Adam Yeah.

1:23:06 Drew And it's a distraction to deal with heavy feelings in the setting of intimacy. And we're saying is, you know, maybe something happened to you that, you know, you needed to distract your attention with this, or it's just part of the, the construct of your relationship with your parents. It sort of wasn't quite what you needed to continue a healthy development.

1:23:24 Adam So it doesn't need to be wholesale abuse, but there's usually something you could trace it back to when the guy wants to beat off on-

1:23:30 Drew Right. And, and God knows they're going to find genetic correlates with this.

1:23:34 Adam The chicks wear hats anymore?

1:23:35 Drew Everything with human behavior has a genetic element and an environmental element.

1:23:38 Adam Melinda, why don't you wear a hat anymore?

1:23:41 Drew Anymore?

1:23:41 Adam Well, women used to wear hats, you know?

1:23:43 Melinda Clarke I do, actually.

1:23:44 Adam You do? Yeah. Where is it?

1:23:46 Melinda Clarke Okay. During the day, sun.

1:23:49 Adam Okay.

1:23:49 Caller Okay, so my question then is it okay or healthy to like, like for women to like things, you know, like being dominated, like being, you know, spanked or?

1:24:00 Drew Well, there's a little, a little, a little.

1:24:02 Adam A little rough trade is true, calls it off the air.

1:24:04 Melinda Clarke A little.

1:24:04 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

1:24:06 Drew Fetish means you have to do this thing in order to function sexually.

1:24:10 Melinda Clarke Okay.

1:24:10 Drew And when people going down, start going down the fetish path, usually it, because it was originally designed to distract from intimacy, lo and behold, it does that in your adult life too. It takes you away from the intimacy so you can tolerate being sexual, but it ends up being something that ultimately becomes a preoccupation in sex and moves you away from the intimate encounter. So if you're going down that path and you can control it, you should, because it becomes a compulsion eventually. If you can't function without it, you might not look into it.

1:24:38 Melinda Clarke Melinda.

1:24:39 Melinda Clarke Fetish, Ashley?

1:24:40 Drew Most, that's what she's got.

1:24:44 Adam Most women like a little tampon on the ass once in a while. Yes?

1:24:48 Drew Not Melinda, how dare you? How dare you?

1:24:50 Adam No. Just a little, you know, little tug on the hair.

1:24:57 Melinda Clarke Yeah.

1:24:58 Adam No, yeah. No, no. Ashley?

1:25:01 Caller Thank you so much.

1:25:02 Melinda Clarke She's running away.

1:25:03 Adam Do you have any fetishes?

1:25:06 Caller Well, yeah, what I mentioned, of course, a little tug on the hair, you know, a little throw pass. They're nice, but nothing that I need.

1:25:14 Drew But if you, if you start, here's what does happen. If you need, if you need heavy sort of physical arousal, like some sort of aggressive acting out, that is a sign that you were physically abused in childhood. That is one of the things that happens when people are physically male.

1:25:27 Adam Yeah, we're talking about, you know, punching somebody, not what I do when I hit one of my bitches with a slipper.

1:25:33 Drew A slipper. Dude, that's gay.

1:25:36 Melinda Clarke Whiffle bat. That's my move.

1:25:38 Adam Guys, whiffle bat, slipper. It's sort of what the whip and the pistol is to the lion tamer. Yeah, that's what I am in the bed.

1:25:45 Melinda Clarke A slipper.

1:25:46 Adam Whiffle bat.

1:25:48 Melinda Clarke I'm going to go home now. My husband's...

1:25:50 Adam Oh yeah, get the slipper, buddy. We will... And not the fluffy bunny side of the slipper, but the tread part, the business end of the slipper.

1:26:00 Melinda Clarke The non-skid.

1:26:01 Adam The non-skid part of the slipper. That's the business end.

1:26:03 Drew Working it, yeah.

1:26:05 Adam We'll take ourselves a little break. Melinda Clarke here from the OC. Yeah. We'll be right back after this. Hey, everybody. It's Loveline, Adam. That's Dr. Drew Pesce. Melinda Clarke is our guest tonight from the OC.

1:26:44 Melinda Clarke Hey, hey.

1:26:46 Adam Found out that Melinda's mom's a ballerina and dad's a soap star. So jealous.

1:26:52 Melinda Clarke He did the pilot of Days of Our Lives in 1966. Retired. He got tired of the drive from Orange County.

1:27:00 Melinda Clarke Really?

1:27:01 Drew How long ago did he retire?

1:27:02 Melinda Clarke Last year, 38 years.

1:27:04 Adam Wow.

1:27:04 Drew Same same one?

1:27:06 Melinda Clarke Wow.

1:27:07 Melinda Clarke Yeah.

1:27:08 Adam Oh, he was Dr. Rex Dexler. Who was he?

1:27:12 Melinda Clarke Mickey Horton.

1:27:13 Adam Mickey Horton.

1:27:14 Melinda Clarke Yeah.

1:27:15 Adam I got to keep I got to get up. Keep up my stories because I'm not my story. I I remember I remember the closest I ever got to the soaps was during the Luke and Laura whatever. And I probably had about the most time I ever had on my hands. And there's a little dabbling in it.

1:27:31 Melinda Clarke But even then, it just was that early 80s or late 70s, early 80s.

1:27:37 Adam Sorry, my Subaru commercial is on again. It's back on again. So let's see if we can see the warning this time. But our soaps have always been popular. Like there's always a place for them. I don't know how it goes ratings wise. I can't imagine.

1:27:53 Melinda Clarke It's definitely dropped off. But it's yeah, it's still very popular. But they've some of them have gone beyond being soaps now. What are they? Just the storylines are so extreme. Really?

1:28:03 Adam Oh, yeah, like robots and devils and stuff like that. Yeah, you got to keep moving. But but but but if you think about it, like back in the day for like the first 50 years of soaps, here was their competition at one in the afternoon on a Tuesday.

1:28:20 Melinda Clarke Hi, I'm Ben Hunter.

1:28:22 Adam Yeah, some guys, some fat guys sitting on a barka lounger in front of a fish tank. Yeah, we now return you to the Chisholm Trail, starring Howard Johnson Jr., John Wayne Jr. and a young, young Shirley MacLennan. Please enjoy the rest of this commercial free and some black and white crappy.

1:28:41 Drew Like there was nothing we didn't have color TVs then there wasn't anything to watch.

1:28:46 Adam You were screwed. You would actually have to watch. You'd be nine years old if you were watching a soap to see if you could see a little cleavage or something. Maybe someone would get punched.

1:28:53 Drew Do you remember when you stayed home from school? That you'd see films from the 30s?

1:28:58 Adam I am convinced that it was all part of a conspiracy to punish those who stayed home from school. There was nothing. All there was when you would stay home from school is there was crappy old films from the 40s that would run.

1:29:13 Drew But things that no one ever saw.

1:29:15 Adam And then there were soaps.

1:29:17 Melinda Clarke It's a little before my.

1:29:18 Adam And then there were soaps. And then there were these ones. There were always all these commercials about learning to work in a doctor's world, learning to work a computer.

1:29:27 Drew Right. Right.

1:29:28 Adam And they're like Wally Thorpe School of Trucking.

1:29:30 Drew Yeah. Dudeson.

1:29:32 Adam Dudeson. How do I know?

1:29:34 Melinda Clarke I'm David Dudeson.

1:29:35 Adam Yeah.

1:29:36 Melinda Clarke There was the Mickey Mouse Club.

1:29:39 Drew That was later.

1:29:40 Melinda Clarke That was later.

1:29:41 Adam It was like three o'clock. Yeah. You went to school. You don't know. You stay home. You're just nothing on. You watch TV anyway. That's the beauty of it.

1:29:48 Drew You're sort of uncomfortable and things that like shouldn't be on television. Not that they're offensive. They're just sort of hard to watch.

1:29:55 Adam Well, when you're nine, you love you love old doorstay movies. You just do.

1:29:59 Drew But you wouldn't even... That stuff hadn't made it to television yet.

1:30:03 Adam Oh, well, I was watching that stuff. I wasn't watching stuff in the 40s. And then God Love Speed Racer would come on about two in the afternoon. That was my savior.

1:30:11 Drew Well, there was all those weird sort of Japanese cartoons coming in the afternoon. Simba.

1:30:14 Adam Kimba.

1:30:15 Drew Kimba.

1:30:15 Melinda Clarke Danger's waiting just ahead.

1:30:17 Adam Yeah, Speed Racer. Yeah, Kimba, the white line.

1:30:19 Melinda Clarke Yeah. Mm-hmm.

1:30:22 Adam Yeah, those baboon buddies. They were smart.

1:30:24 Drew Ran like this.

1:30:25 Melinda Clarke Yeah.

1:30:27 Adam Chin.

1:30:28 Yeah.

1:30:29 Adam You're 22?

1:30:30 Caller Yeah.

1:30:32 Adam Remember Kimba, the white line?

1:30:34 Caller What?

1:30:36 Adam What's going on, baby doll?

1:30:38 Drew What's up?

1:30:40 Caller Um, I'm calling because my boyfriend and I, we used to have really great sex when I was getting off when I was on top. But that stopped, and I'm not getting off that way anymore, and I can only get off during anal sex when I have, like, a vibrator on my clit. And that's the only way I can get off now, and it's kind of frustrating.

1:31:00 Drew Are you on medication?

1:31:02 Caller Uh, I actually just started Lexapro.

1:31:05 Caller Is that when the?

1:31:07 Caller There's probably been going on, like, since before then.

1:31:10 Adam Yeah.

1:31:10 Drew Well, Lexapro will worsen that problem, probably.

1:31:13 Adam Yeah.

1:31:13 Drew Because it makes it more difficult to orgasm on the serotonin reuptake drugs.

1:31:17 Melinda Clarke Oh, great.

1:31:18 Adam God bless Jen. She's like so, like, they said there's, she's like announced there's no prison that can hold me kind of thing. So there's no orgasm that can escape me. A lot of people have said, I have lost my libido. No, get the vibrator and the water-soluble lube. Let's go. I will not say die. What's that?

1:31:37 Caller I said I don't need lube.

1:31:39 Adam No lube. I don't have an ambulance.

1:31:41 Caller I have plenty of my own lubrication.

1:31:43 Drew Yeah, yeah, but sure.

1:31:46 Adam Yeah, it's called dinner. You don't want to produce the lube down there. You know what I mean? Am I right, Jerome?

1:31:56 Drew You're right, Adam.

1:31:57 Adam Thank you, bud. All right, now we return to the door stay. Rock Hudson, boy crazy, 1954. All right. Yeah, all right. Well, Jen, maybe you should check in to get a little, what, Cerquill, Ceratone, Cerapop, what in there?

1:32:15 Drew Well, Butrin, Remeron, Sarazona, not as likely to cause the problem. And maybe it's because you're depressed that you're having the problem now. I don't know. You doing anything else? Do you have drugs or anything?

1:32:24 Caller No, no, not at all.

1:32:26 Drew How long have you been having this problem?

1:32:29 Caller It's been going on, I want to say, like, maybe two or three months now.

1:32:34 Drew Gained or lost weight, anything like that?

1:32:37 Caller No, it stayed about the same.

1:32:38 Drew Changing your exercise pattern?

1:32:40 Caller No.

1:32:42 Adam All right.

1:32:42 Drew My prediction is it should come back. Is your changing your relationship at all? That's a really key thing.

1:32:47 Adam Anything?

1:32:48 Caller Well, we were kind of were arguing a lot, and then we broke up for a little bit. Just like a week, and then we got back together.

1:32:55 Drew I think that's more where the issue is.

1:32:57 Adam It's time to go. 22. You've been together long enough.

1:33:03 Drew Melinda Clarke.

1:33:04 Adam Yeah, everybody. Let's take our social break.

1:33:07 Drew Eight and nine o'clock.

1:33:08 Melinda Clarke I wonder what the boyfriend was.

1:33:10 Drew I know what he's thinking. Is he?

1:33:12 Caller Yeah.

1:33:14 Adam For the first two weeks, and then I think it's a little bit.

1:33:17 Caller Man.

1:33:18 Melinda Clarke Yeah.

1:33:18 Drew She was taking care of it before. Now he's got to do a little work.

1:33:21 Adam You know the other commercials they used to run during those when you stay home?

1:33:24 Melinda Clarke Yeah.

1:33:25 Adam You can own land for pennies an acre up at Montrose Pines. Nothing like views. They were selling acres of forest. Yeah, they're still. Now it's Eric Estrada. Back then, it was just a seven year old Eric Estrada. Didn't know who he was. We'll take ourselves a quick break, be right back after this.

1:33:42 Caller All right, guys, here's the deal.

1:33:44 Caller Looking to hook up?

1:33:45 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:33:45 Caller Stuck a waste of time with the wrong person?

1:33:47 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:33:48 Caller One call is all you need to make.

1:33:50 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:33:51 Caller 1-877-889-DATE.

1:33:56 Caller If you need help.

1:33:58 Caller Call Loveline.

1:34:00 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:34:08 Adam Yeah, well, that's it, y'all. Melinda Clarke, everybody, the OC, 8 o'clock on Fox, 8 and 9.

1:34:16 Melinda Clarke 8 and 9, I guess they're repeating.

1:34:17 Adam Fox. Good seeing you again, baby doll.

1:34:20 Melinda Clarke Nice to see you again.

1:34:21 Melinda Clarke I'm going to crash your party.

1:34:22 Adam Great to see you neighbor. Come on down.

1:34:24 Melinda Clarke Yeah.

1:34:24 Adam I won't be there. Drew May. We will take ourselves a little extendo break. And until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying Mahalo.

1:34:34 Melinda Clarke This has been Loveline.

1:34:39 Adam The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold.

1:34:49 Melinda Clarke Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, May 25, 2005