Episode 1000710693659

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline. With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:20 Voiceover Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Dr. Drew is in New York City.

1:34 Drew Wait, wait, wait. Adam, let me do it. Let me do it. I'm in New York City tonight.

1:37 Adam Why? Oh. This show is so horrible. What's wrong with us? All right, Drew. Do you want to just do your own thing?

1:49 Drew Because someone dropped.

1:51 Adam No, no, no. Yeah, I'll set you up.

1:52 You want to try it again?

1:54 Adam I'll lead you into it.

1:54 Drew All right. Yeah, let's go. All right.

1:57 Adam Dr. Drew is in New York City tonight. Why?

2:01 Drew Because someone dropped a nickel.

2:03 Yeah.

2:07 Adam Funny stuff. Alkaline Trio is here tonight. Matt, Dan and Derek are here. They are going to be playing the weenie roast coming up this Saturday. Wow, Drew.

2:20 Drew I know.

2:21 Adam Where do the weenie days go?

2:23 Drew They've been weaned this year. They're weenie.

2:25 Adam They really have. And not only are they weenie-er, but normally the weenie roast is about a month away, right?

2:32 Drew It's Father's Day weekend always.

2:33 Adam Right. So it's, but see, here's the thing about time. Let me just explain. I want to get heavy with you kids. You guys back me up on this. First off, man, create a time, man. Do you know what I'm saying? Like I don't know that it who's to say there's not 25 hours in a day. You know what I mean? But some white dude with a beard, probably Republicans said there'll be 24 and we all just listen, man. Well, not me. That's number one. But number two, it really is a subjective thing. Like if you're if you're asleep and, you know, you're asleep, nine hours can go by in a heartbeat. Or if you ever get put under, you guys ever get some sort of surgery or something? Sure. Like Drew had that penis enlargement thing and they put him under. I mean, a triple hernia, hernia, hernia, hernia. And and the point is, is what happened to that sitcom move where someone would say something, the other person would stomp on their foot and they would change their story. But the person standing right in front of them never saw the other person stomp on their foot.

3:37 Drew Well, no, and they go, Oh, why do you do that? Oh, anyway. Oh, OK.

3:41 Adam I know we're digressing, but you know what I'm saying? Here's here's here's my point. My point is you get put under in general anesthesia. Five hours is zero. It doesn't count. It never even registers. And as you get a little bit older, time starts to kind of do that. You know, I mean, that that distance between between Christmas break and summer break was was in the ninth grade was an eternity. Am I am I right?

4:08 Drew Absolutely.

4:10 Adam Several hundred years. And now you get into that. What do you mean it's time to get my teeth cleaned again? I just did it. I just like I'm driving home for get my teeth clean. I got to turn around and go back. It's not been four months. That's what happens to time. And that's you can tell by the weenie rose, Drew, how many of these have you been to? Oh, how many have there been?

4:31 Drew How many have there been? Yeah, there's a fit.

4:33 Adam You've been to one more. Drew actually went to the first one where he was just there.

4:38 Drew I was at the negative first reenie rose.

4:40 Adam Yeah, you and Gordon Lightfoot, you did a quick acoustic set. You joined in on the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald and you left. But Alkaline Trio, who is here from Chicago is going to be playing. What time you guys playing? Do you know? Do they give you the schedule?

4:58 Alkaline Trio I think they did. I don't know.

5:00 Alkaline Trio I'm going to say two.

5:01 Adam Is it exciting?

5:02 Alkaline Trio I mean, it is exciting.

5:03 Adam Did you know about the weenie rose? Did you heard tale of the weenie?

5:08 Alkaline Trio We've heard legend.

5:09 Adam You've heard myth. Heard myth of the weenie?

5:11 Alkaline Trio Yeah, this is our first first weenie rose. So yeah, we're really excited.

5:15 Adam I don't want to make you guys nervous, but you f up out there on stage and it'll be your last.

5:21 Alkaline Trio It's all over.

5:22 Adam Kevin Weatherly will see to it personal.

5:24 Alkaline Trio It's curtains.

5:25 Alkaline Trio Don't come kindly to imperfection.

5:27 Adam Yeah.

5:28 Alkaline Trio Yeah, so we'll roast a perfect weenie.

5:31 Adam You guys need to put out when you hit the stage and you need to leave it all up there. But pack it up and take it for the next band comes out. They don't tell you that part. The Alkaline Trio also going to be on Conan O'Brien coming up. Oh, the 24th when The Day the Album comes out or drops, as Drew's People says. So, that's Crimson going to be out on the 24th of May. And guys are going to be on the late night with Conan O'Brien show. You guys done that show before?

6:01 Alkaline Trio One time.

6:02 Alkaline Trio It's actually the day after.

6:04 Adam Oh, the day after. Well, right, because it's after midnight. Is that what it is? Or the morning of?

6:10 Alkaline Trio Again, we're into that time thing.

6:11 Adam It says, yeah, C-Man. But why not 25 hours in a day? So instead of like, you got 72 hours. And you got to think, what's that, about three weeks? You got 75 hours or a hundred hours. You know what I mean? It's four days. It's very easy. You know what I mean? Even 48 hours, you got to think about it a little bit. Know what I'm saying? That's right. 25 hours would be nice. Round numbers. And my thing is like, when people go like, I'll have it for you in 24 hours, I always tell them like, take 30. You're going to need it in exactly one day. Just go ahead. You know, like, whatever 25 is from now, just go ahead and make it 30. All right. Where are we, Drew?

6:51 Drew We are somewhere we shouldn't be. Let's go.

6:54 Adam You see that, man? You want to take some calls?

6:56 Drew You're getting heavy. You got heavy. No, no. Wait. Adam, do not take calls. No calls tonight. None.

7:01 Adam No calls?

7:02 Drew No calls. Do not take any calls.

7:03 Adam You don't want me to take calls? You think you can control me? You think I'm your bitch? You think I'm your puppet boy? I'll tell you what we're going to do. You know what we're going to do, Dr. Smartass?

7:11 Alkaline Trio No, no. We're going to take some calls.

7:13 Adam Oh, no. You're goddamn right we're going to take some calls. How do you like me now? Talia?

7:19 Hey, what's up?

7:20 Adam You're a caller?

7:22 Yeah, I am.

7:23 Adam We're taking you. What do you think of that, Drew? Any other requests?

7:27 You showed him.

7:28 Adam Yeah, I certainly showed him. He pulled that crap on me. Yeah, what's up, Talia?

7:34 Well, I actually had a question for Alkaline Trio.

7:37 Adam Here they are.

7:38 Hi, Alkaline Trio.

7:40 Alkaline Trio How are you?

7:40 I'm Derek Dan.

7:42 Well, I just wanted to know how you guys are anticipating a new record and, like, the single that came out?

7:49 Alkaline Trio So far, it's been good. K-Rock's been playing it. Yeah. A bunch of other radio stations have been playing it all over the country, and it's very exciting.

7:59 It's like your first major, like, debut or whatever.

8:03 Alkaline Trio Yeah, it's our first K-Rock debut. It's nice.

8:08 Adam We call it, it's like their coming out party, Talia.

8:11 Alkaline Trio That's right.

8:12 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah. Because here's the thing. K-Rock has to play your junk, and then everyone plays it. That's the way it works.

8:18 Caller You guys are like the trendsetters.

8:19 Adam Yeah.

8:20 But I've been here for, like, seven years now.

8:23 Adam Right. Which is a long time for you because you're 17.

8:27 Caller Yeah.

8:27 I was 10 when you guys came out. How crazy is that?

8:30 Yeah.

8:31 Adam Yeah. Don't worry, though. Time really starts speeding up. But not if we dot my 25-hour day.

8:37 Oh, yeah.

8:38 Adam Then it's going to slow down a little bit. We can start petitioning.

8:41 We'll work on that.

8:42 Adam Yeah.

8:43 Alkaline Trio Well, thanks for sticking with us.

8:46 What?

8:46 Alkaline Trio I said thanks for sticking with us since you were 10.

8:50 I'll see you guys on the 20th of July. The Will-Turn.

8:53 Alkaline Trio We'll see you there.

8:54 Adam Will-Turn is a nice old venue.

8:57 Alkaline Trio Yeah, it's really pretty.

8:59 Adam It's and it's it's it's got the name is nothing short of creative genius. It's on Wilshire and Western. So somebody said, well, just call it Will-Turn.

9:08 Alkaline Trio I was trying to figure out where it was just a couple of months ago.

9:11 Yeah.

9:11 Alkaline Trio And everyone was looking at me like I was crazy. And now I know why.

9:15 Yeah.

9:15 Alkaline Trio I didn't know until just now.

9:17 Adam Yeah, I think the same creative mind who named the toaster was behind that.

9:21 Alkaline Trio Or the bumper sticker.

9:22 Yeah.

9:23 Adam Well, it's a sticker that goes. I guess we call it sticker bumper could have been called. Yeah. You know what else I'm, Drew, I'm sorry. I keep going with this, but I'm really enamored with my new idea, which is replacing, you know, the game Marco Polo.

9:38 Drew Oh, yeah.

9:39 Adam Yeah. You've heard the swimming pool game.

9:40 Alkaline Trio I might be a champion.

9:41 Adam Oh, you think you're good.

9:43 Alkaline Trio Maybe.

9:43 Adam All right. All right. We'll see.

9:45 We'll see.

9:47 Adam Because I can tell you it's going to be hot at the weenie roast. And things are going to get that much hotter when we hop in that above ground pool and see who the real champion is. That's when summer really heats up. But I decided since, you know, kids, they don't know who Marco, they don't know from Marco Polo today. We replaced Marco Polo with Adam Carolla.

10:10 Drew Adam.

10:11 Adam Carolla.

10:12 Drew Adam.

10:13 Carolla.

10:15 Drew Adam's jacking off in the jacuzzi.

10:17 Yeah.

10:18 Adam You see, that's kind of fish out of water. What do you guys think?

10:22 Alkaline Trio It's good.

10:23 Adam Bring that back to Chicago.

10:25 Alkaline Trio It's a similar ring to it there.

10:26 Adam Yeah. No, I mean, it could definitely be the same rules. I don't want to change the rules of the game. You know what I'm saying? I just want to change the name.

10:34 Alkaline Trio Modernize it a little bit.

10:35 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Give it give it, you know.

10:37 Alkaline Trio Give it a little Adam jacking off in the jacuzzi.

10:39 Adam Flare. Flavor.

10:40 Alkaline Trio There you go.

10:43 Adam All right. Let's let's talk to Amber, who's 20 Amber.

10:49 Hello.

10:50 Adam What's up?

10:50 Can I start this off with Adam Corolla?

10:54 Corolla.

10:57 Adam This summer. It's going to be huge. All summer. That's you're going to hear screams coming from neighbors yards of Adam Corolla.

11:03 It's going to be awesome.

11:05 I have fantasies about my brother. Like when I sleep at night, sometimes I have dreams about him and they're sexual. And like when I'm with a guy, sometimes his head, just face just pops into my head.

11:14 Drew No, no, no.

11:15 Adam No, it does not. No way.

11:18 It does.

11:19 Adam Really?

11:20 Yeah.

11:21 Well, how's your brother? My brother was little and stuff. Like we like experience, you like touch each other and stuff when we're like, I was like eight, he was like seven or six. And like, I don't know, like it just recently started happening to where like I'm seeing him and like when I'm having sex, my brother's face will just pop up there. And like I have fantasies and dreams about him. And I want to know what's going on.

11:44 Drew Hold on, hold on, hold on. First of all, I'm sort of calling on the Geneva Convention, the Loveline Geneva Convention, that if this is bogus, you got to tell me now.

11:53 It's not.

11:54 Drew Okay.

11:55 Adam Number two, never close your eyes during sex. Because A, all sorts of bizarre imagery could pop in. C, you could be attacked by Predator or you might miss some vagina or penis or something. You know what I'm saying? Keep your eyes open. You won't see your brother's puss.

12:15 Drew Guys are always focusing on parts of women's bodies. Women tend to close their eyes. But here's the deal. Did the act with your brother actually become sexual or was it just touching?

12:23 Caller It was mostly just touching.

12:25 Drew Well, mostly. Did it become sexual?

12:28 Caller Well, we didn't stick it in or anything like that.

12:31 Drew Were you arousing each other?

12:35 Adam But how do you get around? Hold on. I can't arouse a 35 year old. How do you arouse a six year old?

12:42 Caller I don't know. I don't know about him, but.

12:45 Drew But she was getting aroused. And that actually excited.

12:48 Adam OK.

12:48 Drew But that is real little.

12:50 Caller I had like fantasies and stuff and I'd mess around with classmates and stuff. Oh, but I don't I don't know why.

12:58 Drew Did you were you exposed to like pornography at a young age or anything like that?

13:02 Caller Well, not more than any other kid. I mean, my my uncle laid it lying around and stuff.

13:08 Drew But OK, here's any other kid. Zero. None. So if you were exposed at all, that's more than any other kid.

13:14 Adam I wasn't exposed to any.

13:15 Drew And I can't make it up for it, boy. So it might have been it might have been that exposure that led to you sort of practicing or experimenting things. And that's pretty heavy stuff. All right.

13:27 Adam Well, hold on.

13:28 All right. Quiet down.

13:29 Adam Let's let's just all discuss this.

13:31 Drew All right. Here's the deal. Well, let me just say that if it really becomes arousing, it can kind of shatter the young child's ability to regulate those feelings. It changes the way the brain develops because these sort of highly, highly arousing biologies sort of get indoctrinated into the brain. It can make it very difficult to sort of disengage from. And that's what she's kind of dealing with now.

13:51 Caller Yeah. All right.

13:51 Adam So but if you showed if 10 young girls got exposed to some form of pornography, one of them would have this reaction. You know what I'm saying? If you exposed them once, yes, but if you had repeatedly exposed them, I think it could get Well, it was a, you know, clockwork orange type situation where you, you know, put toothpicks in their eyelids and I'm just thinking what if what if a child stumbled into your bunker?

14:16 Drew Oh, the humanity porn bunker. Yes.

14:18 Adam Well, that's that's why it has a self-destruct system. First off, I get the intruder intruder and the lights start flashing. And then a bunch of Japanese guys in jumpsuits with sub-machine guns. You see them just running down the hall.

14:32 Drew Black hood.

14:33 Caller Yeah.

14:34 Adam Sirens going off.

14:35 Caller Yeah.

14:36 Adam Guys with golf carts going past them with more Japanese guys with sub-machine guns. Gray tile everywhere.

14:42 Drew Marching alongside of the golf course.

14:44 Adam It's awesome. Well, wait a minute, Drew.

14:47 Drew Oh, wait, wait.

14:48 Adam Hold on, man.

14:49 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

14:50 Adam But so do we think that maybe something happened to her? Maybe somebody fiddled with her before?

14:56 Drew Yes, that's definitely a possibility too. But I'm just saying that just to have the porn exposure is enough. It's enough. I'm not saying necessarily is the case. I'm just saying it's enough.

15:06 Adam It's enough for her. But let's face it, just about every kid these days is going to run across something before their 12th birthday.

15:14 Drew I understand. I am desecrating your beloved porn. I'm sorry, Adam. I beg you.

15:19 Adam How dare you attack my porn.

15:21 Drew I understand. That's the way you feel.

15:22 Adam Let me talk to my porn.

15:24 Caller Shh.

15:24 Adam Shh.

15:25 Caller Shh.

15:25 Adam Precious. No. Don't listen to the bad man with a Ph.D.

15:29 Caller Hello? Yeah.

15:31 Adam Anything else happen?

15:32 Caller I had a doctor tell me when I was eight, had my parents thinking that I had been molested because I had this bladder infection and stuff and I had been a long time.

15:42 Drew All right. So there you go. There's something. It's adding up here.

15:44 Caller I can't remember anything from my early, early childhood.

15:48 Drew Well, here's the deal. The stuff that you're experiencing now suggests some issues and why don't you look into it? Because it's going to make for bad times. You're going to get into chaotic relationships. You're going to have difficulty regulating your feelings. Sex isn't going to be sort of confusing.

16:04 Adam Yeah. And then you're going to have kids with no dad, like the one I hear in the background.

16:08 Drew Oh, no.

16:09 Caller That's my roommate's kid.

16:10 Drew Your roommate's kid. That's a new twist.

16:13 Adam Kind of worse in a weird way.

16:14 Yeah.

16:16 Adam And you don't have any kids?

16:18 Caller No.

16:19 Adam And your roommate's a single gal with a kid?

16:22 Caller Yeah. I live with my best friend and my ex-boyfriend.

16:26 Drew How old are you?

16:28 Caller I am 20.

16:29 Adam Someone's going to be pregnant in the next 18 to 20 minutes.

16:33 Drew You want to break the rule?

16:34 Adam Could be the kid. Could be the roommate. Do you have a cat? Something's going on. Look, are you having sex with this ex?

16:42 Caller No.

16:43 Adam You're gonna though, right?

16:44 Caller No.

16:44 Adam You can't live with an ex at 20 or him being like 21 or 22 and not have some drunken s. He's gonna stumble into your room. No.

16:55 Caller All right. All right.

16:56 Adam Enjoy.

16:57 Thank you.

16:58 Caller All right.

16:58 Adam Don't get pregnant.

16:59 Caller I'll do my best.

17:01 Adam Okay.

17:01 All right.

17:02 Adam All right.

17:03 Drew Now I think it was bogus. Really? I just thought, okay, bogus. Well, she said no. I listed the Geneva Convention.

17:11 Adam Do you think anybody listening to this program knows what the Geneva Convention is? We have the world's dumbest listeners, Drew. You're aware of that? They don't even know I'm making fun of them right now.

17:21 Caller They think I'm complimenting them.

17:24 Adam They think dumb is like dope or deaf. You know what I mean?

17:27 Caller Yeah.

17:28 Adam Okay. All right.

17:29 Drew That's dope.

17:34 Adam Adam.

17:35 Drew Carolla.

17:36 Adam See how it goes? See how it goes?

17:38 Alkaline Trio I'm catching on, however slowly.

17:40 Adam It is. I know. Well, it's a tough transition after, you know, being weaned on Marco Polo. It's tough to go to Adam Carolla. But I know I think I think it could work. It's the first night. It's the first night. Yeah. The summer's young. Let's talk to Mike, who's 23. Mike.

17:58 How's it going, Ron? Who?

18:00 Adam What's happening?

18:01 Not much. I'm fat.

18:03 Adam All right. He's fat. He's 290 pounds.

18:08 Caller 290.

18:10 Adam 290.

18:10 Drew How old are you?

18:12 23.

18:13 Adam 23. How tall are you?

18:15 63.

18:16 Drew Still in college?

18:18 Alkaline Trio No.

18:19 Caller All right.

18:20 Adam What do you do?

18:20 Drew Make good linemen.

18:21 I hang grapevaries.

18:23 Drew Oh, you're standing on ladders.

18:27 Caller Yeah.

18:27 Drew That's not good.

18:29 Adam Now, those things are only rated to like 245.

18:32 You think so?

18:33 Adam Yeah.

18:35 Well, maybe I won't do that anymore.

18:36 Alkaline Trio Bigger?

18:37 Adam Yeah. No, no. We've heard of fatter. There's no doubt.

18:41 Alkaline Trio 63. That's pretty tall.

18:43 Adam Yeah.

18:44 My friends say I'm not fat, but.

18:46 Adam Yeah. My friends say I have small eyebrows. And two of them. Hey, Mike.

18:55 Caller Yeah.

18:57 Adam Would you like to lose weight?

18:59 Yeah, I want to lose some weight. And I get a little nervous around women.

19:04 Adam Yeah. Let me just say this. Fat guys. I'm trying to think of sort of number one guys who don't get laid and it's fat guys. Oh, I brought my dog to the studio tonight, Drew, and she's crying.

19:18 Drew Seriously?

19:19 Adam Yeah. Molly.

19:22 Alkaline Trio She's very sympathetic to the big man. Yeah.

19:24 Adam Well, she's she's as the as my as my Latin laborers call her Gordito.

19:30 Drew Oh, no. She's not Bolo de Queso.

19:34 Adam Bolo de Queso. They call her Bolo de Queso, which is a ball of cheese. And they call her Gordita, which is fat little girl. You know, the lads can be very cruel. They really can. When you translated, when you translate. No, they're just here's the thing. Latin guys call people fat or fat. Like my electricians, Mexican guy, his son is fat. He calls him, he calls him Gordo. That's a kid's name. It's like Fatso. Could you imagine a white guy just saying to his 11 year old son, hey, Fatso, go to the van and get the LBs. You know what I mean? You would be on the phone to somebody. But Gordo is kind of nice. All right. Anyway, Michelle put the dog out in the hall. Drew?

20:22 Drew Yep.

20:23 Okay.

20:24 Adam All right. Obviously getting tired. So 290 pounds. Fat should lose some weight.

20:31 Drew Yeah.

20:32 Adam But as we know, it's all genetic. So how do you do it? And Drew, do you just have a horrible life of dieting and just sort of remain husky your entire life? Because let's face it, if you're fat, that's it. That's the hand you got dealt.

20:46 Drew There is that. But I'll tell you what, I've seen amazing results with dietician and exercise. A good dietician who can actually adjust a plan to your diet and your life and what your tastes are and exercise or you have to get the operation. That's the only really way. There's some medicines coming that were going to change all this, but at this point in time, there are really only two ways.

21:06 Adam Let's just talk about this. I just had a friend who had this surgery about a year ago. The guy's 40 years old now. He was fat. He was fat for 15 years. 15 years I knew him, 350 pounds, dieting, yo-ing up and down, the whole thing. Never, just never. He's a fat guy. He got the surgery. Year later, he's 190 pounds. He feels great. It's fine. He just could have never done it any other way. If you're 23 and you're 300 pounds, yeah, you could get a dietitian. You could get a trainer. You could get this. You could get that. By the way, the guy makes four bucks a week hanging drapes, so he probably can't afford, you know, Jane Fonda come swing by his pad or Tony Little or something. But the point is, is he's just going to be miserable. He's going to be eating rice cakes while everyone else is eating, you know, wedding cake. And he's going to be perpetually husky. He'll get down to like 225 and he'll think he looks good, but he'll still be chunky. And then he'll get depressed and balloon up to 310. Why don't you just get the surgery? Mike?

22:09 Drew Yeah.

22:10 Adam I've decided you have to go under the knife.

22:12 But hey, I'm going to go under the knife. I'm on this cabbage diet.

22:15 Drew Oh, boy. What do you mean by that? None of these fad diets really keep the weight off long term. You've got to have major significant sustainable changes in how you eat forever. And again, a dietician is what sets that up and an exercise plan.

22:34 You can have a diet out.

22:35 Adam Well, as is Mike. Is this a bogus call or is that fat guy sense of humor that everyone hates?

22:44 Drew People, you know, people are fat diets. Listen, a fat guy writes a diet book. People read it. It's Dr. Phil writes a diet book. Everyone wants to read that desperate.

22:54 Adam He's not fattest.

22:55 Drew That was an attack.

22:56 Adam Large boned. That's all. Well, Oprah writes a lot of dieting books herself. But here's the thing. Seriously, everybody, it's become my crusade so we can leave everyone alone. Everything is just genetic. Your eye color is genetic. The size of your nose is genetic. The size of your ass is genetic. That's it. We like to think of fat people as fat slobs. They're not. 23 year old, we know 23 year old guys, you can see the veins in their stomach and they eat like pigs. And then they're guys that are fat, they don't eat anymore or any worse. They just have a bad metabolism. And the only way this guy could ever be close to normal is to stop eating and never stop exercising, which is unrealistic.

23:39 Drew There's a new sitcom or something about overweight women. And you hear the fat people societies are getting together and saying, we don't need this, this is horrible. But in reality, it's probably a good thing. It's raising awareness about how discriminating we are.

23:51 Adam Oh, listen, I'm telling you, fat are the new Polak. That's what I'm saying. No, here's what I'm saying. There used to be a certain amount of jokes in this country about whatever ethnicities. It was very, I mean, that's just what you do. We used to have Polak jokes. Remember those? Remember those innocent days of Polak jokes? How the Polak terrorist, no, let's see. Oh, did you hear about the Polish terrorist who tried to blow up the bus?

24:25 Drew Yeah, no.

24:26 Adam He burnt his lips on the exhaust pipe. See, that's the kind of joke we used to tell and it was a more innocent time. But the point is now we have no more room in that in our society, which is fine, but everyone has turned to fat people. Now it's all fat guy jokes and fat guy jokes are kind of okay. I think there's a certain amount of energy that everything is taboo now except for making fun of fat people. And I for one say they don't deserve it. Yes, Drew?

24:55 Drew Yes, Adam.

24:56 Adam Okay.

24:57 Drew Adam.

24:58 Adam Carolla! See how that works? Alkaline Trio is in tonight. We're going to hear something off of their new CD Crimson, which is coming out on the 24th, which is one Tuesday from now. We will take ourselves a little break. We'll do that and we'll talk. Oh, we got a Germany or Florida here, Drew. This is huge. Girlfriend never gives a moral question. Had surgery to widen his urethra.

25:28 Caller Oh, nice.

25:29 Adam That's... That'll be interesting. Yeah, and much, much more after this.

25:36 Thank you for calling Loveline. Your call will be answered in the order it seems interesting.

25:44 Drew This portion of Loveline is sponsored in part by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. Live on 05.

25:56 Adam Hey, y'all. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew. Drew, you're going to have to supply your own punchline here. Dr. Drew is in New York City. Why?

26:08 Drew Because someone dropped a nickel.

26:10 Caller That's right.

26:12 Adam It's not quite as good when you do it to yourself, but it's still kind of funny. Where's Dr. Drew?

26:18 Drew Oh, he's not there.

26:19 Caller I can pretend to be Chris if you want me to.

26:21 Adam All right, Engineer Michelle, you're going to have to get ready next time. Engineer Chris, we tried to do it unsuccessfully about eight times, and eventually we just pieced one together during the break and put it on a cart.

26:32 Caller Yeah, I heard that.

26:32 Adam So we have that one. Matt, Dan, and Derek are all here from Alkaline Trio. They're going to be playing at the Weenie Roast that is this Saturday. I'll be there. I'll be the drunk one who's sunburnt. Crimson is the name of the CD. It is coming out on May 24th. All right, so we'll take one call and then we'll hear something off the new CD.

26:58 Caller Let's see.

26:59 Adam Let's talk to... Follow up. Her boyfriend's 300 pounds. She likes big guys. Now, let's take this one. Laurie?

27:07 Caller Yes.

27:08 Adam You're 21?

27:09 Caller Yeah.

27:10 Adam You're following up? You called us before?

27:14 Caller No, I've never called him before. This is my first time, but I listen almost every night.

27:18 Adam All right.

27:19 Drew So she's following up on something she heard maybe.

27:21 Adam All right. Go ahead. Yeah.

27:22 Caller I'm actually calling about Mike, the guy who called him a little bit ago, and he's a little overweight and has a hard time meeting girls. Yeah. I actually am dating a guy, and he's about 6'5, about the same weight range. He's around 2'90, and not only is he a great guy, I think he's completely sexy. I actually got to know him before I met him, and Mike might try looking into things he likes to do, joining some clubs, and he might meet some girls there who would look past his weight.

27:54 Adam What kind of clubs? Like some kind of fat husky boy clubs? What is the club called? I don't know.

28:04 Caller Maybe he likes to ride motorcycles, maybe he's into chess, maybe he likes computers. There's got to be something he likes that he can connect to someone on the level.

28:13 Adam You like a big man?

28:16 Caller He's a little overweight, but he's still healthy, and he takes care of himself. Even with a little bit of a tummy, I still think he's sexy.

28:24 Adam Dan, were you going to say something?

28:26 Alkaline Trio I foresee a three-way in the future, possibly.

28:29 Adam Which would technically be a four-way if you just did it by mass. You know, just if you did it by pounds. Yeah, if you did like the water displacement on the three-way, it would be a five and a half, six-way. Yeah, she could squirt out like a bar of soap, rocketing out the window. You know, I'll tell you this. There are some guys, some people, women, women aren't as rigid as guys. You know, guys, we want to be with someone who's very attractive, and the problem with that is we've all agreed on what's attractive and what isn't. You know what I mean? Women, yes, Drew.

29:09 Drew Women are responding, they're responding with much more of their brain. Men are looking, they have visual stimuli is what activates sexual drive. For women, they use a much more holistic, more emotional parts of their brain. They connect with the person and they see aspects of them they love.

29:24 Adam Lucky they're stupid that way.

29:26 Drew But Adam, remember, remember how the rating mechanism that women have versus men, the number mechanism. You haven't talked about this in a long time.

29:36 Adam No, we haven't and I'm going to add something to it, which is men, we pretty much just break it down to what does her face look like? What does her body look like? We even take looks and break it into two categories. We got, you know, upper and lower. We got the face and we got the body. And then after that, we don't have a sense of humor or anything like that, a personality. It's like, is she going to ride us or is she going to leave us alone? Like if you're hot and you can kind of leave us alone and let us do our own thing, you're the perfect catch. You don't need to invent anything. You don't need to be brilliant. You only, you barely need to speak one language. Just be laid back, be cool and be good looking, and we're going to have a great life together. Whereas women, they have all these things like position and power and sense of humor and all this kind of stuff. But there's another category that we never really talked about, Drew. You and I have spoken about it off the air in more intimate settings.

30:33 Drew While urinating?

30:35 Adam Yes. Women, although you're on the bed, I think while I'm urinating on you, not together, if that's what you mean.

30:42 Drew How dare you.

30:44 Adam Thank you, Drew. Women have things where there's some women who want a guy who they know ain't going to stray.

30:52 Drew And if you're hooking up... Guys do that too, though. They get a little fearful of women that are too hot, so to speak.

30:58 Adam Right. So the chick says, I don't want to hook up with Lorenzo Lamas Jr. because that guy's going to be banging our au pair inside of 15 minutes. I'm going to hook up with Tubba Goo, and this guy ain't going nowhere. He's hanging on to me with both hands. Now guys don't really work that way. Sure, you could hook up with a big fat chick, and she ain't going nowhere, but then you're stuck with her. Women will go that way sometimes. I know I sound cruel, but time is short, and what is time anyway, man? You know what I'm saying? That's heavy. So this caller, Laurie, could be one of these people who wants to hook up with a big guy, so she never gets cheated on.

31:44 Drew I doubt it's that. I think it's just that she likes the guy. Laurie?

31:48 Caller Yes.

31:49 Drew Yeah.

31:50 Caller I bet you and Lay like him.

31:52 Adam No, I know, but I'm not saying you don't like him, and by the way, what is like? I mean, you know, you don't know. What is time, man? No, but Drew, what's it? Well, hold on. What's attraction?

32:03 Drew What is it? I think that's the point is that in women, what attracts is something far more diverse, more interesting, right?

32:11 Adam So, of course, she's not going to say she doesn't like the guy. She's into the guy and she's attracted to the guy.

32:17 Drew What I find interesting about women is that they can't differentiate the physical appearance so much from what they're attracted to, that they're more globally. If you remember, we were on the Roseanne show, I'll never forget this, years ago, and we were talking about this thing and Adam goes, you use you and I as an example, you and I, Drew and I, we're like a six, and they go, oh no, you're, and Roseanne and, who else was there? Anka Radakovich was there. She goes, they go, oh no, you guys are nines, right? No, no, no, we're sixes. Maybe we add up to a nine if you take in position of the fact that we're on this show or something, but we're sixes. No, you're not. They argued with us. Remember that? It was weird, it was like bizarre. It's like, no, let's see, you can't even differentiate it.

32:57 Adam Right. I think I was arguing you were a five and I was a seven.

33:00 Drew Yeah, whatever.

33:01 Adam And we equal to six.

33:02 Drew I'd say we came out of six.

33:04 Adam Yeah, women will be attracted to a guy if he has a radio show or whatever. And that's true, their number goes up. But Lori. Yes. Have you had other boyfriends?

33:18 Caller Oh, yeah.

33:19 Adam Were they big guys?

33:21 Caller No, actually, my first boyfriend, I was with him for about three years and he was a smaller guy. He was about five, nine and weighed about probably 120. And he was very athletic, but he was just very had a very high metabolism, could eat anything and stayed very thin.

33:34 Adam Did he cheat on you?

33:36 Caller No, no, we ended just because while I was going to Europe and we went different ways.

33:43 Adam You went to Europe?

33:44 Caller I did.

33:46 Adam And you just broke up?

33:48 Caller We had kind of grown out of each other from the time we were 14 to 18.

33:52 Caller All right. All right.

33:52 Adam And now you got yourself a sussquatch. Good. That's good. And listen, he can protect you.

34:00 Caller Yes, definitely.

34:02 Adam Yeah. All right. Well, man, see you want to talk range. You're you know, this guy's almost three of your last boyfriend. You go from you go from, you know, Ichabod Crane to The Fridge. And in a two year, two year span, I mean, that's a little Chicago sports reference for the band. That is that is range. All right. Let's hear a little something from the band. And I'm going to tell you guys a story about The Fridge during the break. Yeah. Well, we're listening to Alkaline Trio. I'm going to tell you a nice fridge story.

34:40 Alkaline Trio What about that?

34:42 Adam I like the count of this one. Yeah.

34:44 Adam Corolla.

34:47 Adam Thanks, baby.

34:48 Caller Call me off guard.

34:50 Adam But you're mad about something I said about the fridge.

34:52 Caller Me too.

34:53 Adam You're not doing it right. You don't go, Adam, like you're mad at me and you're yelling at me to get back into the house.

34:59 Drew You know, Adam.

35:00 Adam You're going to do a sing song.

35:03 Drew Adam.

35:04 Adam Yeah, because according to you, you'd play Marco Pollock. Marco! What you're yelling at me, get back in the house.

35:11 Caller Let the truth be known.

35:12 Drew I don't swim.

35:13 Adam I don't swim. All right. Well, that's why I give the fish out of water. Marco.

35:20 Polo.

35:21 Adam You see it's not Marco. Not yelling for a guy named Marco, who's actually in the pool. Wow. Sing a song.

35:30 Alkaline Trio I'll go, Adam.

35:32 Adam No S. You don't swim. You have no idea the cadence of Marco Polo. Wow. What was that? I got an apology yesterday and that was humiliating.

35:42 Drew We can hear a song.

35:43 Adam Yeah. We're going to hear a song.

35:44 Drew All right.

35:45 Adam This is a little something from Alkaline Trio. What song are we playing? I had that written down. IS. Time to Waste. Yeah, Alkaline Trio, everybody. In studio tonight, Crimson Album comes out on Tuesday the 24th. Also gonna be on Cone O'Brien's show at that, at least either day before or the day after. Anyway, just watch it two nights, play it safe. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

40:23 Loveline will be right back, so get your problems ready, ready, ready.

40:41 Adam It's Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew is in New York City tonight. Why, engineeress Michelle?

40:51 Because someone dropped a nickel.

40:53 Caller Yeah.

40:56 Adam Not as funny as when Chris screws it up for the third time, but still good, still solid. Alkaline Trio in studio tonight. We'll hear something else off the Crimson CD in the 11 o'clock hour. Let's talk to...

41:12 Caller Uh-oh.

41:13 Adam Husband wants her to have sex with another guy. Disaster.

41:18 Hello?

41:19 Adam You're 24?

41:20 Caller Yes.

41:21 Adam Your husband wants you to have sex with another guy?

41:24 Yeah.

41:25 Drew That's bad times.

41:27 Adam Does he want to watch?

41:29 He either wants to watch or have it, like he said, if I didn't feel comfortable and the other man didn't feel comfortable, that we could just record it.

41:36 Drew Oh, well, that's Sir Walter Raleigh again, Adam. What are you going to do?

41:40 Adam Yeah. I'll tell you, who says chivalry is dead?

41:43 Drew Here you go. Here's a great example.

41:45 Adam My dad was forcing my mom to have sex with strange men. They wouldn't have any videotape. I mean, they just had a courtroom artist, actually.

41:54 Drew But how nice of them to consider their delicate sensibilities. So if it's a problem for you, I just set it down to high definition and DVD.

42:04 Caller Yeah.

42:08 Adam You know, I gave a sperm sample the other day. Oh, you did it?

42:12 Caller Yeah, I did that.

42:13 Adam And the nurse was like, I'm standing there next to my wife and she's like, yeah, go in there and draw yourself up a sample. You got videotape or whatever.

42:21 Drew Draw a sample? And milk yourself.

42:24 Adam And I'm like, yeah, all right. Then she looks at my wife and goes, would you like to help him? I'll feed him or whatever.

42:30 Drew I'm like, nice. What?

42:32 Adam What?

42:33 Caller That's weird, all of a sudden.

42:36 Adam How dare you? Let me have my dignity and beat off alone.

42:39 Caller Thank you.

42:40 Drew What did she do? What did Lynette do?

42:42 Adam She was just like, what? We were both like kind of caught off guard. Like, what do you mean help? What do you mean? How's that go?

42:48 Alkaline Trio Did she crack up?

42:49 Drew Oh, that's funny.

42:52 Adam Here's all I'm saying at the clinic there. Go ahead and put one of the sweeps underneath the door because there's a goody inch underneath that holocore door and the nursing station is about four feet away from where I'm beating off and I can hear everything that's coming out of every one of those chatty Cathy's voices while I'm trying to have at myself with dignity. Yeah. Jesus. All right. Anyway, that drew. Don't get me started, Brenny. So, yeah. So this is trouble.

43:20 Drew That's bad. That's a horrible, horrible disturbed impulse on his part.

43:24 Adam Would you say deal breaker, Drew?

43:28 Drew It needs evaluation. It's sort of like this. It's a husband, right?

43:32 Yeah.

43:32 Adam No.

43:33 We're getting married in July, but we've been living together for five years. And we have.

43:38 Drew I would give some very serious, maybe some premarital counseling.

43:42 Adam They have two kids.

43:44 Drew Yeah, yeah. Premarital counseling.

43:46 Well, do you think that it's an issue that he has or?

43:49 Adam Yes.

43:50 Drew Yes, it is his issue. Your issue because you're with him. We have to worry about that.

43:55 Adam But you're nutty enough to hook up with this guy and start crapping out kids with this nut job. But other than that, it's his issue.

44:03 What kind of issue would you think it would be, though?

44:07 Drew I can't even speculate, but it's...

44:09 Adam I got feelings on it. What do you got? I think there's some weird misogyny kind of thing.

44:13 Drew Oh, for sure. For sure. And a little chaos and a little sort of, yeah, I got to screw things up somehow here, but I don't know what exactly.

44:20 Adam Yeah, he's going to use it against you. Okay.

44:24 That's what I was worried about, but okay.

44:27 Adam Yeah. All right. Well, look, here's the thing. You have two kids, right?

44:32 Caller Yeah.

44:32 Adam You can't do this anymore. You have to get married. You got to get some counseling. You got to straighten this guy out and you have to contain him.

44:41 Caller Okay.

44:42 Caller Well, when we first got together, I work at a grocery store and he had worked there years ago. And there was like some people that, there was a gay man that worked there before and there was rumors going around that they had said that he had been with that man. Do you think that that could have something to do with that?

44:58 Drew It kind of fits for me. He's got some issues about his sexuality. Let's just put it that way.

45:05 Adam They're heavy. It fits just because it's sort of out of the spectrum of normal and in that sense it fits. Hey Brittany, no more kids with this guy, please.

45:18 Caller That's not in the plan, so.

45:20 Adam I know, but were the other two in the plans?

45:23 Caller The first one wasn't, the second one was.

45:25 Adam Alright, so there you go. You're 50% with kids, so now you're due, right? The third one's not going to be in the plans.

45:31 Caller Oh, no.

45:31 Adam And then the fourth one will be. And then the fifth not, and it keeps going. Alright, so no more kids, and if you're going to get married, get some counseling before you get married.

45:41 Caller Alright.

45:42 Adam Alright, and listen everybody with the nutty spouse. Your job is to sort of contain them. A guy's kind of, most guys could go many different directions. I mean, certainly if you said to most 25-year-old guys, hey, you want to have a threesome, they're one wine cooler away from a big thumbs up and getting on top of you and your stepsister. I mean, that's how guys are. And women sort of have to be the gatekeeper. They need to say, no, we're doing this. And just like they do with everything, you're going to the wedding. You gotta hold my hand.

46:18 Drew There's a famous biological anthropologist named Lionel Tiger, who I interviewed for Discovery Health Channel, said that throughout history, throughout human history, women have tamed men.

46:26 Adam Yeah, that's what they have to do. And they have to sort of tame them and contain them at the same time. And you sort of taking their ideas like, hey, how about before we get married, we videotape you humping some stranger and saying, oh, well, I'll give it some thought. That's not gonna work. You need to shut that kind of thinking down. And you're actually doing him a favor by doing that. Wouldn't you agree?

46:50 Drew Yes. Drew. Yes, yes.

46:51 Caller OK, thanks, buddy.

46:53 Adam You awake there?

46:54 Drew No, no, yes, yes.

46:55 Adam Yes.

46:55 Caller OK.

46:55 Drew No, no. All right.

46:57 Adam Let's take ourselves a little break. Alkaline Trio in tonight. They got themselves a CD called Crimson. We'll take a break. We'll be right back after this. Yeah, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Got my dog, Molly, in here tonight. She's looking sad. Alkaline Trio in studio tonight. Matt, Dan, and Derek are in here. Yes, thank you. We're just having ourselves a little system of a down conversation, Drew, because John from the band had called in and given big props to Alkaline Trio. Dicks are seen and also promised more porn for me. Yeah, big night. Also, I ate at their restaurant, Carousel in Glendale two days ago. What?

48:22 Drew You didn't invite me? Were you with them?

48:25 Adam No. I just went there with my buddy. I said, this place is great. We were laughing about on the-

48:30 Drew What the hell were you doing in Glendale?

48:33 Adam Eating Armenian food.

48:34 Drew No, I mean, but you had to make a special trip for that.

48:39 Adam I was going to the Home Depot in Glendale. And I thought, if I just go another couple hundred yards, I'll get myself some nice Armenian food. And the beer, I know we were yapping about this on the air the other night, I think, but I'll just tell the band what the hell. The Armenian food, we went there with System of a Down, who are big celebrities in the Armenian community. Maybe bigger than the guy who played Klinger in MASH.

49:08 Drew I don't know. Come on now.

49:10 Adam Maybe second only to Jamie Farr in the Armenian community. But the point is...

49:15 Drew And the Armenian comedian.

49:17 Adam Yeah, and the Armenian comedian.

49:18 Caller Let's not forget him.

49:20 Adam But anyway, we went in there and they were like, oh man, it's System of a Down. Fantastic. Right this way, boys. And then they're like, look, you got to try this food. There's some awesome stuff, you know, not even on the menu. You got to try this. We got this great sandwich. And so John tried to order the sandwich. And that guy was like, no, cannot have it. I'm like, really? What do you mean? I can't have it. No, it's just for lunch. Well, do you have any? Yes. Well, could you bring them out? No. Well, could we have them? Well, you must. It's for takeout. So the guy's telling you guys yelling at the System of a Down guy saying, you could have this sandwich. It's on the menu. And if you want to go eat it in the parking lot, we'll give it to you. But you can't eat it in here. And John is like, what's the big deal? Just go get the sandwich. We'll just eat it. No. And they're big fans too, by the way. So that's all you need to know about the help in that part of the world. Yeah. They're like they're big fans of System of a Down, but bigger fans of telling people no. I think really that comes first. Way bigger fans of no than System of a Down. So, Drew, am I lying? Am I exaggerating?

50:35 Drew No, no, that's what happened. And then he tried to negotiate with them. How about you make the sandwich and put it in a bag and bring it, like I'm taking it out. I'll take it outside and bring it back.

50:45 Adam No, can I have autograph?

50:48 Alkaline Trio Yeah. Nobody is above the carryout rule.

50:51 Adam Yeah.

50:51 Alkaline Trio It's the golden rule.

50:53 Adam Evidently. And by the way, I don't think that rule even exists in non-Armenian restaurants. Like there's stuff that you can eat in the parking lot, but you can't eat at the table. There's sticklers over there. They because you start letting people eat stuff on the menu inside the restaurant and the world spins off its axis. You know, and next thing you know, chaos, Armageddon. You got anarchy in the streets, my friend.

51:22 Alkaline Trio Lunch at dinner time.

51:23 Adam Lunch at dinner time. People eating cereal when the streetlights are on. You got a, you got serious anarchy. All right. Let's talk to Eric over here. Who's 18.

51:33 Drew We did get a little Germany or Florida going too.

51:35 Adam Yeah. Well, what do you think? Where do you think I'm going, Eric?

51:38 Drew All right.

51:40 Adam Corolla.

51:42 Caller Yeah.

51:43 Adam So we're going to play Germany or Florida. Here's how the game goes. Eric gives us the bizarre story. All bizarre stories either emanate from Germany or Florida, as I've found over my ears. And we will then tell him, is it Germany or Florida? Go ahead, Eric.

51:59 Caller A man used so much insect killer that he blew himself up when a spark from his computer ignited the aerosol. The man who was 36 caused more than $180,000 of damage and debris flew over 300 feet away. Amazingly, he was not badly hurt and was released from hospital after treatment for minor injuries. The man had closed all the windows and emptied several cans of extra strong insect spray before sitting at his computer to surf the Internet. The spark of electricity ignited the powerful fumes causing an explosion that demolished the apartment and blew out all the windows. Several neighboring apartments were also damaged but none of the other residents were injured.

52:37 Drew Now, here's my thoughts on this.

52:38 Caller Had to be closed for several hours.

52:41 Adam It sounds sort of BSE or at least like it's been inflated a little bit.

52:47 Alkaline Trio These are supposed to be real.

52:49 Adam This is a real story that either came from Germany or Florida. But first off, it sounds sort of inflated. Let me just ask you this, by the way, Drew is a doctor. People get burned over 90 percent of their body and then people also sometimes get treated for minor burns. How can we never hear about the medium size burns? You know what I mean?

53:08 Drew Well, you can get second degree burns.

53:10 Adam Yeah, but you never hear someone go, you got burned pretty bad, but not that bad.

53:15 Drew Well then, what you don't hear is like he got 20 percent of his body second degree burn. When they say 20 percent of the body, they mean third degree burns over 20 percent of the body.

53:24 Adam I'm just saying you don't hear, it's like you hear about the guy who's the master of disguise, but not about the guy who's just sort of mediocre at disguises, you know? I give him a five in the disguise department, some better than others.

53:38 Drew It's discriminatory.

53:39 Adam It's okay.

53:41 Drew All right. All right, here's the deal.

53:43 Adam Hold on, Dan has a theory.

53:45 Alkaline Trio Do I just blurt it?

53:46 Adam Blurt it.

53:47 Alkaline Trio Give my reasoning.

53:48 Adam Give your reasoning.

53:49 Alkaline Trio I don't think there's that many crazy bugs in Germany.

53:52 Drew Interesting. I like that.

53:54 Alkaline Trio I like that. He said dollars as well and they don't pay with dollars in Germany.

53:59 Adam No, they pay with francs. That's right. I mean, Deutschmarks or euros.

54:04 Alkaline Trio It's euros now, yeah.

54:06 Adam Here's the whole thing too. Although there will be a dollar translation every once in a while. They won't say like 120 Deutschmarks or euros or whatever. They'll do a dollar amount if it's in our paper. So don't let that-

54:19 Alkaline Trio I thought I was on to something.

54:20 Adam Don't let that be the only thing you base it on. But I like the insect part.

54:25 Drew However, however, it doesn't seem like this and this litigious society we live in that there'd be that kind of a spray around that could be ignited. You know what I'm saying?

54:34 Adam Yeah.

54:35 Drew Not only that, but unprotected electrical material that creates a spark. That also doesn't sound American. And close the street for a couple of hours. In Florida, what would you close? You know what I mean? You can't close a street in Florida. Everything's all spread out there.

54:48 Adam Yeah. What do you mean? You can close a street?

54:50 Drew Well, I'm just saying, why would you? Because things are more densely populated in Germany, is what I'm saying.

54:58 Alkaline Trio But that kind of thing is almost business as usual in Florida. They wouldn't have to close down the street because it might have happened yesterday.

55:04 Drew Right. Another crack house blew up. What are you going to do?

55:09 Adam Here's the thing, by the way. This was not bug spray. This is one of those foggers.

55:15 Drew And by the way, in Florida, this would have been a cover for an ether explosion from a crack house, you know, from an amphetamine dead place. Meth lab.

55:24 Alkaline Trio Yeah.

55:24 Adam No, this can happen if you let those foggers go off. You let a bunch of those bug foggers go off and you don't air the house out.

55:32 Alkaline Trio All right.

55:32 Adam So what are we doing, gentlemen? Are we going Florida or Germany?

55:35 Drew Ultimately, I'm going Florida.

55:37 Alkaline Trio I think Florida. That sounds like something that would happen in Florida.

55:40 Adam Everyone's going Florida?

55:42 Drew I like the bug theory.

55:45 Alkaline Trio One more quick theory is that I got to give German people the benefit of the doubt that if they're going to fog their house, they're not going to jump right back in there and start surfing the web.

55:55 Drew They're too smart.

55:56 Alkaline Trio You know? That sounds a little Florida as well.

55:59 Adam That's a porn addiction right there.

56:01 Drew Yeah.

56:01 Alkaline Trio Yeah.

56:02 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

56:02 Adam All right. So we're going Florida, Eric.

56:06 Caller It's Germany.

56:07 Drew Oh, I had it too. I don't listen to my instincts.

56:11 Adam You never stop listening to your instincts.

56:14 Drew You tugged me out of it, Adam. You tugged me out of it.

56:16 Adam Well, the problem is, is your bad instinct listening instincts. You know, your instincts are great, but the instinct that makes you listen to your instinct is screwed up. So you never win. Yes. See, that's got to be a tough way to go through life. You have fabulous, you have almost like cat-like instincts, but you have that instinct that doesn't listen to your instinct. And that's where you get burned.

56:42 Drew Every time.

56:43 Adam Yeah. Adam. Corolla. And that's why you got to play the Germany or Florida. Because we have five men here, all exceptional, all from diverse backgrounds, all with engineering degrees. And yet, we were wrong.

57:02 Drew Engineering degrees?

57:03 Adam I just was sort of rounding it out, kind of patting it a little bit. The point is, a little hyperbole, it's good radio. The point is, we're all wrong about Florida and Germany. I think we all owe Florida an apology.

57:17 Drew Yeah.

57:18 Adam No.

57:18 No.

57:19 Adam You're right, because there are other things they've done over there that they owe us for. All right, let's talk to Danielle. Danielle?

57:29 Caller Yes.

57:30 Adam What's up, baby doll?

57:32 Caller Well, I'm six and a half months pregnant, and I have an older sister who likes to take her jealousy out on me, ignores me. If I see her in town, we live two towns away from each other within 15 minutes drive. If I see her in town, she acts like she doesn't know me or doesn't hardly want to talk to me. But when things are going great for her, you know, she likes me to go out and talk. Hold on.

57:59 Adam Daniel, what year are you calling from? Like 1891. Where are you calling from? You see her at the supply store, she's buying a sack of grain. What's going on? You're getting some candles or some paraffin because you're going to be...

58:16 Drew The crossing barges on the way to the general store.

58:18 Adam Crossing barges on a paddle boat. What do you mean you see her in town and she ignores you? What's going on? You live several towns, a couple of towns away. Hold on. Are there towns out here? Is Burbank and Glendale a town? Are those your towns?

58:35 Drew Cities.

58:36 Adam All right. Well, how does it work? What is the equivalent to what Danielle has with her sister around here? You know what I'm saying?

58:43 Drew Yeah. Nothing.

58:45 Adam Okay. So you see her in town, right? And she ignores you?

58:53 Caller Right. Because she's been with her husband now for almost two years. They've been married. And they've been trying to get pregnant. And she hasn't successfully gotten pregnant. And she's taken the jealousy out on me because it's not her.

59:13 Drew Nope.

59:14 Adam No. Maybe she just doesn't like you.

59:18 Drew Or maybe there was a horrible chaos in the home and there's a lot of really very, very serious, awful, aggressive feelings going on. And they're just coming out now.

59:26 Adam Where's your dad?

59:28 Caller My dad is somewhere in California.

59:31 Adam Oh, really? Good times. I like him to be remote.

59:35 Caller I haven't seen him in over 13 years.

59:39 Drew That kind of thing is much more to be investigated, sort of looked toward as the reason for why your sister's so vicious.

59:45 Adam Why did your dad abandon the family?

59:48 Caller Actually, he was arrested when I was six years old.

59:51 Adam Oh, there you go.

59:53 Drew That explains it. Again, if this is not your sister being jealous, it's that she's being vicious, and that's a whole different thing.

1:00:01 Adam Yeah.

1:00:01 Caller Well, last year, last July, I found out I was pregnant. I ended up having a miscarriage. But when I first told her about it, she blew up in my face because my house isn't as good as hers, my car isn't as new as hers, why isn't it her?

1:00:19 Adam Hold on, let me explain. Let's just do it, let's reenact that, Drew. You tell me you had a miscarriage.

1:00:25 Drew All right. Honey, sis, I was pregnant, and I had a miscarriage.

1:00:30 Adam Why isn't your car as good as mine? Why isn't your house as good as mine? That's pretty much accurate.

1:00:39 Drew That's it, that's it. Yeah, yeah.

1:00:42 Adam So you used to tell her you had a miscarriage, she starts screaming at you about your car?

1:00:47 Drew That's how it went?

1:00:48 Adam Danielle, that's what happened? Danielle? That's how it went? You told her you had a miscarriage, she starts screaming about your car?

1:00:57 Caller No. When I told her I was pregnant, it was before I had a miscarriage.

1:01:02 Drew Let's do it differently, out of different.

1:01:03 Adam Hold on, hold on. Did she say that your car wasn't as good as hers, or her car wasn't as good as yours?

1:01:09 Caller No, her house wasn't as good as hers.

1:01:11 Caller No, everything she has is better than what I have.

1:01:14 Adam Okay, here we go.

1:01:16 Alkaline Trio Hold on, hold on.

1:01:18 Drew Get your implicit cues.

1:01:19 Adam I gotta find my cue. Let me go to that place.

1:01:21 Drew The through line. Here we go. Ready?

1:01:22 Adam Drew, please, I can't. No, no, no. Now.

1:01:27 Drew And act. Okay, so I just found out I'm pregnant, can you believe that?

1:01:32 I'm so upset.

1:01:33 Adam Your car ain't as good as mine. Your house isn't as good as mine.

1:01:39 You're not as good as me. Your womb is sucked. I'm pregnant.

1:01:45 Drew I'm pregnant and I don't know what to do.

1:01:46 Adam I hope you have a miscarriage.

1:01:49 Drew I'm having one right now.

1:01:50 Caller Yeah.

1:01:51 Adam Don't do it on my nice carpet, which is better than yours.

1:01:58 Drew Somebody smokes pot in that van.

1:02:02 Caller You got a little laugh.

1:02:03 Adam All right, Drew, come on. Don't have to ban. We're making fun of Danielle, not the band. All right, was that a pretty good reenactment, a pretty fair recreation of how it went down?

1:02:15 Caller Yeah, actually, yeah.

1:02:17 Drew Oh yeah, of course. I'm sure that's exactly how it went down. Now there's two possibilities here. Either Danielle is completely distorting things and she is full of chaos, or the sister is a vicious, awful person, or both.

1:02:29 Adam Both. They're both a mess because daddy went to jail or whatever. Horrible things to do. And I know. And look, sorry, Danielle, but we hear this all the time and it's super, super clear. There's this weird thing that chicks do when dad splits and they just start like everyone's jealous and everyone's this and everyone's that. It's a horrible way to go through life. Your sister's a crappy person because she came from a crappy family. And chances are you're a crappy person because you came from a crappy family too. You guys can just go at it for the rest of your lives or you can get a little therapy, move forward and try to live, live a decent life. What do you think?

1:03:06 Drew Yeah.

1:03:07 Adam Yeah.

1:03:07 Caller I think I'm just going to go my way and she can go hers.

1:03:10 Drew All right.

1:03:12 Adam That's perfect. Except for you're not going to be able to do that. You're going to keep complaining about what a crappy person she is and how she ignored you over at the feed store.

1:03:21 Caller Feed store.

1:03:22 Adam Well, I just imagine that's where you guys might, you know, that's sort of the hub. All roads lead. So Danielle, do you have a guy? Do you have a husband?

1:03:32 Caller Yes, I do. I have a husband.

1:03:34 Adam You do? And you guys are trying to have a kid?

1:03:38 Caller We weren't trying. It just happened.

1:03:41 Adam But you did have a miscarriage.

1:03:43 Caller Yes, I had one last August.

1:03:45 Adam And now you're pregnant again? All right, so you... I would hope that you're... Okay, whatever. You're not trying to have a kid, is what I'm saying.

1:03:56 Caller No, we weren't trying. It just happened. All right.

1:03:59 Drew You weren't on birth control. You weren't trying not to.

1:04:02 Caller Right. No, it was too soon after my miscarriage to start my birth control.

1:04:07 Drew No, no, that's not true. Because they usually give you a shot the next day.

1:04:12 Adam What is your husband? I'm gonna give him three choices of things that he does, all right? Truck, semi-truck, drives a truck.

1:04:19 Drew Hale-Hale.

1:04:21 Adam No, no, no, no. Works, convenience store or something with metal? Which is it?

1:04:30 Caller My husband is a nurse.

1:04:32 Adam Oh, I knew it.

1:04:34 Drew You screwed that one up.

1:04:35 Adam Your husband's a nurse?

1:04:37 Caller Yeah.

1:04:38 Adam What kind of nurse?

1:04:41 Caller Yeah, he takes care of his brother. His brother is a quadriplegic.

1:04:47 Adam But is he an actual nurse?

1:04:49 Caller Uh-huh.

1:04:50 Adam He's a certified nurse.

1:04:52 Caller He has a degree or credential.

1:04:53 Drew He's a licensed nurse?

1:04:56 Caller He's a certified LPN.

1:04:59 Adam And did he get that?

1:05:00 Drew Wait, wait, wait. Licensed practical nurse.

1:05:04 Adam Wait, is that just, do you just get deputized by a doctor at some point?

1:05:09 Drew No.

1:05:09 Adam Is that what that is?

1:05:10 Drew No, no, no.

1:05:11 Adam Well, what happened? So, is her brother, his brother's a quad, and is that why he became a nurse? Wow. And who pays him?

1:05:22 Caller They're, the nurses are contracted through a nursing agency.

1:05:28 Drew And he's one of the ones that's contracted?

1:05:30 Caller Right.

1:05:31 Drew Wow.

1:05:32 Adam How does brother become a quad?

1:05:34 Caller Motorcycle accident.

1:05:36 Caller Woof.

1:05:37 Adam Wow, that's got to be a weird gig. Working on your brother all day, like taking care of him and stuff. Is that freaky for him?

1:05:47 Caller He enjoys it. He likes taking care of his brother.

1:05:51 Adam And he makes a decent living?

1:05:53 Caller Yeah, $14 an hour.

1:05:57 Adam You're calling from Louisiana, right? That's more than the governor makes. All right. So you're cool. You get a nice one, a nice two-bedder apartment over there for like $300 a month, right?

1:06:09 Caller About $400.

1:06:10 Adam All right. All right. All right. Well, as your people say, Mazel Tov. I'm guessing you guys are Jews over there. So take care of the kid. And if your sister don't want to play nice, then forget about her.

1:06:25 Caller All right? Okay. All right. Yeah. Great dad.

1:06:30 Adam It's fantastic that he's out here in California. Probably knocking somebody else up and not paying taxes. Oh, that was a twist. Nurse taking care of quad brother. I'm not sure if taking care of quad brother is noble or weird or both. I'm kind of going to go with both.

1:06:48 Drew Be both.

1:06:49 Adam You're going to go with both?

1:06:50 Drew Both. It's a boundary issue on one hand and the other it's noble.

1:06:54 Adam But I mean, I don't want to get too graphic here, but you got to change diapers and stuff, right?

1:07:00 Drew Oh yeah.

1:07:01 Alkaline Trio You probably got to do everything.

1:07:02 Adam Everything.

1:07:04 Alkaline Trio Yeah.

1:07:04 Adam Yeah. All right. Let's take another call. We're going to hear a song as well. But part Native American, more prone to alcoholism. Yes, yes. Yeah. Want to talk to that guy? Sure, sure. Chris?

1:07:21 Yeah.

1:07:22 Adam You're 16?

1:07:23 Caller Yep.

1:07:24 Adam You're a part Native American? What part? What are you?

1:07:29 I'm not sure.

1:07:30 Drew You don't know what kind of Indian and how, what percentage?

1:07:32 My grandma is full, but she's like, she's senile and she won't tell anybody.

1:07:38 Drew So it's at least a quarter, at least a quarter.

1:07:42 Adam What tribe is she from? What is she?

1:07:44 We don't know.

1:07:46 Drew She meant that it won't tell anybody.

1:07:48 Adam Yeah, she, she, that's, that's of as of 18 months ago, but didn't someone know what she was for the first 85 years of her life?

1:07:57 She won't, we don't even know. I don't even know my great grandpa because we don't know if she was even married or anything. We don't know practically anything.

1:08:05 Drew Did you guys just find her out in a field one day or something? What, what is this?

1:08:08 Caller No.

1:08:09 Drew I mean, didn't she have friends who could tell you what she used to speak about her heritage?

1:08:12 She's 95 and she's like really thick.

1:08:15 Caller All right.

1:08:16 Drew All right. Be that as it may.

1:08:17 Adam No, no, hold on. I'm not done. Who's, whose mother is she?

1:08:21 She's my mom's, my mom's mom's mom.

1:08:26 Drew Oh, great. So it's a great grandmother.

1:08:27 Adam She's a great grandmother.

1:08:29 Yeah.

1:08:29 Drew So this is, this is not a quarter percent. This is like a half of that. Yeah.

1:08:33 Adam And then what, your mom's grandmother, she doesn't know what, what she is.

1:08:38 No.

1:08:39 Drew All right. Your question was about the alcoholism, right? And in general, you need about 25% North American Indian to, in my experience, to really see the gene emerge and certain of the North American Indian.

1:08:51 Adam Hold on, Drew. How can you judge? How can you say there's differences from culture to culture?

1:08:57 Drew It's not a cultural, it's a genetic thing. And in fact, worse.

1:09:00 Adam It's even worse.

1:09:01 Drew Worse, yeah. And in fact.

1:09:02 My uncles are alcoholics and stuff.

1:09:03 Drew Yeah, yeah. And in fact, and again, but they're, again, a generation removed from you. And so you may have dodged the bullet. And the the I can only tell you that the the most intense genetics I've seen is in the Cherokee Indians. So the Southeastern Indians, that's the only time I ever see family systems where every single person is an alcoholic. Usually it's usually it's about 50 50 half get the gene half don't. But Cherokee Indian, any more than 25 percent, you see 100 percent.

1:09:32 Caller All right.

1:09:32 Adam So here's the deal. You might be able to dodge a solo alcoholism thing, and you might be able to get yourself admitted into college with a lower SAT score than let's say a Chinese kid.

1:09:44 Caller Yeah.

1:09:45 Caller All right.

1:09:45 Adam So you make it work for you, brother.

1:09:47 Caller Yeah. All right. Hey, yeah.

1:09:49 Drew Not a check.

1:09:51 Adam Not just yeah. That's good enough. Alkaline Trio is here tonight. They're going to be playing at the Wienerost this year. And again, you know, if all goes right, they may be asked back next year. But that's again, if all goes right. That's this Saturday. We're also going to hear something else off the Crimson CD, which is coming out May 24th. We'll take a little break. We'll be right back after this.

1:10:20 Love Line will be right back. So get your problems ready.

1:10:25 Drew This portion of Love Line is sponsored in part by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. Safety Belt Enforcement is not about tickets. It's about saving lives. So remember, click it or take it.

1:10:36 Adam Yeah, everybody, Loveline. Adam, that is Dr. Drew, Alkaline Trio. In studio tonight, Drew is in New York City. I'm even tired of my own nickel joke. Oh, one more time, one more time.

1:10:52 Drew No, no, no, no.

1:10:53 Adam One more time. It's always funny.

1:10:54 Drew That would do it with Michelle.

1:10:56 Caller That would do it with Michelle.

1:10:57 Adam Dr. Drew is in New York City. Why, Engineer Michelle?

1:11:01 Caller Because someone dropped the nickel.

1:11:03 Adam That's right. All right. Oh, this guy had his urethra operated on and he's been on hold for 98 minutes. I feel bad. Aaron? Aaron fell asleep.

1:11:18 Drew Oh yeah, I hear him.

1:11:21 Alkaline Trio Oh, that's funny.

1:11:22 Adam Yeah, he's been on hold for an hour and a half and he fell asleep with the phone in his mouth.

1:11:27 Alkaline Trio He lost the phone in his near-stretched urethra.

1:11:33 Adam I wonder what he's... He seems like he's whamming out right now.

1:11:37 Drew Yeah, yeah, he's sort of moving around a little bit.

1:11:39 Caller Yeah.

1:11:41 Alkaline Trio Maybe he's playing with his new urethra.

1:11:45 Adam Yeah, maybe taking it out for a test spin. Hey, Drew.

1:11:49 Drew Yeah.

1:11:50 Adam I, you know, call me Cosmic, but I bet if you answer his question, he'll wake up in the morning and magically feeling like he has the answer to his question.

1:11:59 Drew Why don't you go ahead and plant that thought?

1:12:01 Adam Okay. I have to use my spooky voice.

1:12:04 Drew Okay. Okay.

1:12:08 Adam Who decided that was a spooky voice?

1:12:10 Caller It's sort of or gay.

1:12:13 Caller Erin.

1:12:15 Adam And it's just, isn't that the gay voice?

1:12:18 Drew Get on with it.

1:12:19 Adam Yeah, but why can't ghosts just talk normal? You know what I mean? Yeah. You think you're gonna talk differently when you're dead? I don't think so.

1:12:26 Drew Casper talked normal. Come on.

1:12:28 Caller All right. Erin.

1:12:32 Adam Dr. Drew is gonna impart pearls of wisdom that will implant themselves in your cerebral cortex. And when you wake up in the morning, you'll feel refreshed.

1:12:43 Drew And you'll have all the answers.

1:12:44 Adam And you'll have all the answers to your urethra questions. So here's the question. Head surgery to widen your urethra now has no sex drive, can't last in bed. Well, I'm guessing...

1:13:00 Drew No sex drive and can't last are two different things, right? Does he mean he loses his erection?

1:13:04 Adam Oh, Drew, hold on a second. Drew, do you understand the recorders running in his brain? It's all gonna be in?

1:13:10 Drew Oh, yeah, yeah.

1:13:11 Adam He's gonna have to fast forward through all this crap to get to the answer?

1:13:14 Drew All right. I would need to know how long ago the operation was. Anyway, the fact is, unless you just had the operation, probably has nothing to do with it. All right. There you go.

1:13:25 Adam So what do you want to say? Is that it?

1:13:27 Drew He's got to go back to the urologist. Go back to the urologist to discuss this with him or her. Probably you'll need some Viagra.

1:13:35 Adam Yeah, you should really drag out Viagra.

1:13:38 Viagra, Viagra.

1:13:41 Adam Okay, Drew, that's enough. Come on now.

1:13:43 Drew It's horrible, horrible.

1:13:45 Adam All right. There you go, Aaron. Let's see if we can hear him breathing. He's not, he's not fat. It's funny when a fat guy nods off because then it's a, you know, novelty log song. We got a band, we got a question for the band over here. Samantha?

1:14:03 Caller Yeah?

1:14:03 Adam You're 16?

1:14:05 Caller Yeah.

1:14:05 Adam What's up?

1:14:07 Caller Um, not much. I was just curious what songs Alkaline Trio is playing on plane, if they could tell me any.

1:14:14 Adam Hmm. Mm-hmm. At the Weenie Roast?

1:14:17 Caller Yeah.

1:14:17 Adam Are you gonna go?

1:14:19 Caller No, I waited at Ticketmaster and it sold out. I was really sad.

1:14:24 Adam What are they going for, as far as scalpers? What? Are they scalping tickets for a lot of money?

1:14:31 Caller $800.

1:14:32 Caller Yeah.

1:14:34 Adam Who is that?

1:14:35 Caller Oh, my sister.

1:14:36 Adam Oh, 800? 800 a pair?

1:14:39 Caller Yeah.

1:14:40 Drew What is she doing? Is she on the other line?

1:14:41 Caller Yeah, really, actually.

1:14:43 Adam Evidently, she is. All right. I just had a new plan for some of my tickets. But go ahead. And first off, I want to I just want to apologize to Dave Gutierrez over Galpin Ford first and foremost. I didn't know it was 800 bucks. Sorry, Dave. I'll explain later, but let's keep going. Go ahead, Samantha. What? Oh, you're asking the band what songs are we going to play? Yeah, how about it, man? What songs are we going to play? And I'm going to be out there too.

1:15:12 Alkaline Trio All Deep Purple.

1:15:13 Drew Oh, all Deep Purple.

1:15:15 Adam They're doing Highway Star and Smoke on the Water.

1:15:17 Alkaline Trio Two songs that'll put us over the 30 minute mark.

1:15:21 Adam Yeah, are you guys, how long is the song last in concert? I mean, is it, does it go on? Is it, do you guys like jam, stretch it out?

1:15:29 Alkaline Trio It's a lot like Dave Matthews up there.

1:15:31 Adam Just a free jam.

1:15:32 Alkaline Trio Lots of violins.

1:15:33 Adam It's a stone gas.

1:15:34 Alkaline Trio Yeah. Time is not an issue.

1:15:37 Adam What is time anyway, man?

1:15:38 Alkaline Trio There you go.

1:15:39 Adam All right. So Samantha.

1:15:41 Caller Yeah.

1:15:42 Adam You got no answer, but you can tune, you can tune in to K-Rock and I believe Hear the Band and then you can, then you'll get your answers. And by the way, it's better that way anyway.

1:15:54 Caller Can I say something? Go ahead. Sure. My name is Veronica. I'm sorry. We're both on the phone at the same time. I'm a huge Alkaline Trio fan. I have Alkaline Trio tattoo. Me and my sister are matching tattoos. We are so bummed because Tower Records made us wait in line. We were the second in line at seven o'clock in the morning. And then they did that raffle thing and we ended up getting nothing. We ended up getting pushed to the end. Do all Tower Records do that now?

1:16:21 Alkaline Trio We had to be sure that they did.

1:16:22 Adam Hold on. We have the CEO of Tower who's a spokesperson for Tower. Yes, yes, we do do that. Thanks, Herb. No, you can just wait there until we have another question. Herb's been here for almost four years. It's the first question we've ever had. I hope that, but Herb, aren't you glad? Because he was like, he said, if I make it to ten years, I'm going to kill myself. I have no idea. I, you know, I'm literally a millionaire. And on the, you know, pretty much on the I'm on the other side of the velvet rope. You know what I'm saying, Samantha? So I get everything for free. Okay. Including laminates and backstage passes.

1:17:02 Caller It just sucks, you know, cause like we're totally true fans. And I know that half the people that are in line are like getting it and selling it on eBay for like thousands of dollars. You know?

1:17:11 Caller Right.

1:17:11 Adam Well, if you were bigger fans, you would pay that thousand dollars and buy it.

1:17:17 Caller Thank you.

1:17:17 Caller I would, if I was made of money, I totally would, but I'm broke.

1:17:22 Caller Yeah.

1:17:22 Drew You can watch the webcast.

1:17:24 Adam If I was made of money, I don't think I would use parts of me to buy stuff. You know, like, because before you knew it, you'd be out, like your arm and like an eyebrow and an eyelid would be gone. I guess you're not talking about literally being made of money, but if you were literally made of money, you wouldn't, you wouldn't spend yourself on stuff. You know what I'm saying? Right, Drew?

1:17:44 Drew Yeah.

1:17:46 Yeah.

1:17:48 Caller Yeah.

1:17:49 Alkaline Trio But we hope to see you next time. Sorry. Sorry about Tower.

1:17:53 Caller Yeah.

1:17:55 Drew All right. Here we go.

1:17:57 Adam What's the deal, Drew? What do you want to do?

1:17:59 Drew There we go. Do not take any calls. Talk more about Tower Records. I want to talk more about Tower. Do not take any calls.

1:18:06 Adam How dare you?

1:18:08 Drew Do not just take another call.

1:18:10 Adam Now, you know what? I think I'm going to hear a song from Alkaline Trio.

1:18:14 Drew Well, whatever you do, don't do that. And don't don't listen to a caller.

1:18:18 Adam Now I'm confused. What should we do?

1:18:23 Drew You want to be Carolla? Let's do a song.

1:18:29 Adam You want to do a song?

1:18:30 Drew Yeah.

1:18:30 Adam All right. Here's a little ditty from Alkaline Trio off the Crimson CD. And this one's called Burn. Whoa, what was that?

1:22:48 Drew Another song.

1:22:49 Adam Yeah, it just continues. It doesn't stop.

1:22:51 Caller This is a weird CD player.

1:22:52 Alkaline Trio A little teaser for you.

1:22:53 Adam Hmm, I like that song. I like both of them. I like the beginning. It sounded like a totally different song. I mean, it was a different song, but it sounded like a different band.

1:23:04 Drew I want to hear that one. Let's come on, let's play it.

1:23:05 Adam Let's hear a little of that one.

1:23:07 Caller Go ahead. Yeah.

1:23:09 Adam You wet our, you wet our appetite for it. All right, turn it down, but let's just keep it, just pond it down a little, but keep it underneath us, yeah.

1:23:25 Caller Yeah.

1:23:26 Adam Alkaline Trio, everybody, in studio tonight. You can see them in the flesh at the Weenie Roast, or you can see them on TV on the Late Late Show, or I guess the Late Show with Conan O'Brien, or Late Night with Conan O'Brien. One of those late night shows, and that'll be on Tuesday, May 24th.

1:23:49 Alkaline Trio 25th, I believe.

1:23:50 Adam Or the following night, May 25th.

1:23:53 Alkaline Trio Do we have confirmation on that? 25th?

1:23:55 Alkaline Trio We got thumbs up from management.

1:23:57 Adam 25th. And the album will come out on the 24th, and it's called Crimson. Dr. Drew in New York City tonight, we're out here in Los Angeles, and we'll be right back for a little man-boob call after this.

1:24:13 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back.

1:24:35 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew in New York City tonight, Alkaline Trio in studio tonight, Crimson Name and CD, out on Tuesday the 24th. MXPX is coming back to our studio. That'll be tomorrow night. I think they're gonna be at the Weenie Roast as well, as Alkaline Trio. And it's back to the phones we go with a question about man boobs. Joe?

1:25:01 Caller Hey, guys, how's it going?

1:25:02 Adam Good, what's up?

1:25:04 Caller Well, I went into a consultation a couple of days ago about man boobs. Anyway, the guy said that there's two ways about going at it. One is like liposuction. And he said there's a chance of there being like saggy skin.

1:25:20 Drew Right, or indentations. Or again, so it looks indented, yeah.

1:25:25 Caller Yeah, and he said there's another way that he could go about it. He said, I guess you split the breast down the middle or something, and then like you, I guess, I don't know what he does, but anyways, when he puts it together, he said there's going to be like horrific scarring. Those are his words, that there's going to be like major scarring, and there's a possibility I might lose my nipple.

1:25:47 Drew It sounds pretty encouraging, huh?

1:25:48 Adam Yeah, what's he going to use, like a rusty garden tool? Like, by the way, how bad a surgeon do you have to be to just say, a horrific scarring and a nipple, kiss a good bye, if you can get to it. But don't do it in front of me, because it's weird to see a guy trying to kiss his own nipple.

1:26:05 Caller Exactly. Anyways, there's so much you hear about these people going in for, like, procedures, and they come out looking like Frankenstein or something.

1:26:13 Adam Yeah, well, that's what happened to my dad.

1:26:16 Drew So he's trying to encourage you to have the liposuction, right?

1:26:19 Caller Well, yeah, but he also said that there's a lot of saggy skin afterwards.

1:26:25 Drew Right. Is this a plastic surgeon you were seeing, or a cosmetic surgeon, or do you even know?

1:26:30 Caller Cosmetic surgeon.

1:26:31 Drew Yeah, you may want to go see somebody with a plastic, you know, training, a plastic board.

1:26:36 Adam Or even a guy with a degree. How big a guy are you, Joe?

1:26:44 Caller I weigh probably about 235, 240.

1:26:47 Adam And how, you sound stout, you sound like you're under six foot.

1:26:52 Caller No, no, I'm pretty tall, I'm six even.

1:26:56 Adam Six even. All right, so I'm way off. And I'm off by, well, 30 second of an inch technically, because even a 64th, we could keep going. You, and now, does he want you to lose a couple of pounds before you go under the knife or the vacuum?

1:27:14 Caller No, no, he actually said, well, I've lost a lot of weight recently. Well, a few months back, you know.

1:27:23 Drew What were you before?

1:27:25 Caller I was probably about 280.

1:27:27 Adam All right, well, good for you. And he doesn't want you to lose any more weight.

1:27:33 Caller Well, he said that he could also go ahead and give me a tummy tuck and this and that and, you know.

1:27:39 Adam What do you, Joe, you a bikini model or do you swing a hammer for a living? What's going on? What do you do?

1:27:46 Caller I'm a forklift operator.

1:27:48 Adam All right. What are you guys putting on a calendar this year? How hot do you have to be, Joe? How about you just be fat and drive the goddamn forklift? As a matter of fact, I don't like seeing a trim forklift operator.

1:28:01 Drew Makes me nervous. Yeah, it's just creepy, yeah.

1:28:02 Adam This guy must be his first day on the job. Look, even Molly knows a thin forklift operator is a bad idea. Am I right, Molly? Yeah. No, no. Yeah, that's right. You don't want to see that like Antonio Banderas driving a forklift to give you the creeps. You know what I'm saying? Right, Molly? Molly.

1:28:27 Caller All right. There we go. There's a lot of delay on it.

1:28:30 Adam Now, the whole thing about driving a forklift is you got to be fat. That's what counterbalances the forklift. You got all that weight hanging out on one end of the forklift. You need a lot of ass, Molly. Am I right? You need a lot of ass in that seat. Otherwise, the forklift will topple over.

1:28:46 Drew Adam, why is he calling us? He's consulted with a cosmetic surgeon. What does he expect us to tell him?

1:28:52 Adam I don't know. But here's what I would...

1:28:54 Drew You can go see someone with a board and plastic, a board certification of plastic surgery. There may be some different sort of technical way of approaching this or some other ideas about it.

1:29:02 Adam But here's what would be my plan. He's like 235 now. How about you get down to 200 and then see about the procedure? And also, maybe the man boobs will be part of the weight that goes when you lose 35 pounds.

1:29:17 Drew That's right. It may be more of an issue of the skin then and not just the fat under the skin.

1:29:21 Adam Thank you. But still, have you ever seen a skinny forklift operator? And if you did... And if I did, by the way, I would tackle the guy and bring him down because I would say the real fat forklift operator is tied up in the back somewhere. And this is part of some sort of terrorist plot to drive a forklift into the presidential motorcade. I've actually did it at a Ollies many years ago. It turns out I was wrong, Drew.

1:29:48 Caller Dead wrong.

1:29:49 Adam How dare you. But it's not going to stop me from doing it again. That's my point. Vanessa, I wrestled the guy to the ground. Turned out he actually was his forklift. But anyway, turns out he had cancer and that's the way it had come off. Vanessa.

1:30:02 Caller Hi, what's up?

1:30:03 Caller Yeah.

1:30:04 Adam You're 20?

1:30:05 Caller I'm 20.

1:30:06 Caller Yeah.

1:30:07 Caller I just want to say hi to Alkaline Trio and you guys rock.

1:30:10 Alkaline Trio Hi.

1:30:10 Caller It's been totally awesome and I'm wondering if you guys are going to do any more shows like you did at Fullerton where it was free.

1:30:20 Alkaline Trio I'm sure we will eventually. We don't have anything planned right now but Fullerton was fun. You're talking about when we played out in the courtyard there, right?

1:30:28 Caller Yes.

1:30:29 Alkaline Trio A while ago. Yeah, that was fun. I'm sure we'll do something like that again.

1:30:33 Caller I hope so. I want to see you guys so bad at Weenie Rose but oh well.

1:30:37 Adam But there's money involved so forget it.

1:30:40 Caller No, there's not money involved. It's like standing in line and laughing.

1:30:43 Adam Because you want the band to play free.

1:30:46 Caller No, I don't.

1:30:47 Caller That was just really fun.

1:30:48 Adam Okay. Fun for you, not fun for the band. They couldn't even cover gas money.

1:30:54 They're going to get huge.

1:30:55 Caller I'm never going to be able to see them again. That's why I'm like, darn it.

1:30:58 Adam Well, I don't know if they get huge and they'll just play those huge like soccer stadiums and stuff and you could go though you can't, you know, you get really bad seats.

1:31:06 Caller Yeah, I guess.

1:31:07 Caller Okay.

1:31:08 Alkaline Trio She's thrilled about that.

1:31:10 Adam What's time anyway, man? Go ahead, Vanessa. You have a question?

1:31:14 Caller Yeah, I want to know, because I remember Dan said he was really influenced by Pink Floyd for this album. I was listening on the website and I was just wondering if they were more of a Pink Floyd fan or Led Zeppelin fan.

1:31:31 Alkaline Trio Me, personally, I'm a bigger Led Zeppelin fan than a Pink Floyd fan.

1:31:38 Alkaline Trio Truth be told, we're all bigger Deep Purple fans than anything.

1:31:41 Adam Yeah.

1:31:42 Alkaline Trio Adam just included.

1:31:44 Alkaline Trio Adam sparked a whole...

1:31:44 Adam I explained to them why they should be Deep Purple fans during the last break.

1:31:48 Caller Why?

1:31:50 Adam Well, I don't need you to be a Deep Purple fan, so I'm not going to explain it to you.

1:31:55 Caller Well, no, I like Deep Purple.

1:31:56 Adam Oh, you do?

1:31:57 Caller Yeah.

1:31:57 Adam What's your favorite song?

1:32:01 Drew All right, then.

1:32:03 Alkaline Trio Huge fan.

1:32:04 Drew Highway Star.

1:32:05 Caller All I had was a Deep Purple greatest hit, but I didn't say I was like the biggest fan.

1:32:11 Adam Go cue up Burn and all will be forgiven.

1:32:15 Caller Okay.

1:32:16 Adam All right, go get them. I'll put you on hold. All right?

1:32:19 Caller Okay.

1:32:19 Adam Can you do it in like 30 seconds?

1:32:21 Caller No.

1:32:22 Adam Why not?

1:32:23 Caller Because I had a question too.

1:32:25 Adam You've asked eight questions already.

1:32:27 Caller Okay.

1:32:28 Caller I'm sorry.

1:32:28 Caller I'll go.

1:32:29 Caller It'll be quick.

1:32:30 Adam Go get Burn.

1:32:31 Caller Huh?

1:32:32 Adam Go get Burn off your deepest purple CD.

1:32:35 Drew Deepest purple?

1:32:37 Caller Greatest hit CD?

1:32:38 Adam Yeah.

1:32:40 Caller I have it in my car.

1:32:42 Adam Where's your car? At the shop?

1:32:44 Caller No. It's outside.

1:32:45 Adam You must be good looking.

1:32:47 Caller Huh?

1:32:48 Adam Are you good looking?

1:32:50 Caller Yeah.

1:32:51 Caller I don't know.

1:32:52 Adam Yeah. Hot chicks are lazy.

1:32:54 Caller I'm pregnant.

1:32:55 Adam Oh, really?

1:32:57 Drew How dare you, Adam?

1:32:59 Alkaline Trio I see good Molly on-site in there.

1:33:03 Adam Molly, what's the problem?

1:33:06 Caller I just want to ask her.

1:33:07 Adam All right. Look, here's the deal. She has a question about her pregnancy. All right. She wants to know if she can, she wants... Well, she asked eight questions, and now she has a question about her pregnancy. I think there's a skunk in here, Drew. Either that or the Bayon Exhale. She wants to know, speaking of pot, she wants to know if you can smoke pot when you're breastfeeding.

1:33:33 Alkaline Trio I'm not a doctor, but I would say you probably should not do that.

1:33:36 Drew No, no, absolutely out of the question.

1:33:38 Alkaline Trio Thank you. All right.

1:33:39 Adam So do not smoke pot while you're breastfeeding, and go out to the car and get that deepest purple CD, and we'll be right back after this. Well, that's the show, y'all. Wanna thank Alkaline Trio for coming in here tonight? Yeah.

1:34:23 Alkaline Trio Holy moly.

1:34:23 Alkaline Trio Thanks for having us.

1:34:24 Adam Where did it go?

1:34:25 Alkaline Trio It's that time thing again.

1:34:26 Adam MX, but what is it really, man?

1:34:30 Alkaline Trio Full Circle.

1:34:30 Adam Full Circle.

1:34:31 Alkaline Trio Going around.

1:34:32 Adam And MXPX gonna be in here tomorrow night. Crimson, name of the CD by Alkaline Trio, gonna be out the 24th, that is this coming Tuesday. And you can find them at the Weenie Roast this Saturday and on the Late Night with Cone O'Brien Show on the 25th of May.

1:34:53 Caller Yeah.

1:34:53 Adam Thanks guys.

1:34:54 Caller Thank you. Thank you.

1:34:55 Adam And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo.

1:35:01 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, May 18, 2005