Episode 1000710693479

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline.

1:17 Adam With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Dr. Drew is a board certified physician, an addiction man, blah, blah, blah, blah. Adam Scott is here tonight. Adam was here last when he was on The Aviator. Stealing The Aviator.

1:38 Adam Scott Oh, come on.

1:39 Adam You say you don't remember him from The Aviator. Yeah, I do. That's the point. A good actor is not remembered from a movie.

1:46 Adam Scott That's right.

1:46 Adam You don't, ta-da! Here I am!

1:48 Drew Can't tell it's him.

1:50 Adam Scott That's a new criteria. Yeah, I've never heard of that one before.

1:53 Adam Yeah, and you can start saying you're in other movies. Right. You're the African Queen. You don't remember me? Absolutely. Good I am. You blend in. That's right. You don't want to see them acting, Drew. Adam is a dear, dear, dear, dear friend of a friend of a friend who's a dear, dear friend of the show. That's right. His wife, I think, was a dear, dear, dear friend. No, she's a dear, dear, dear, dear friend.

2:17 Adam Scott Oh.

2:18 Adam Yeah, who we first met. But it was either over at Man Show or Crank Yankers. I'm trying to think.

2:23 Adam Scott I think it was the Yankers.

2:24 Adam His, we met her on the Yankers. Lovely, lovely, intoxicatingly beautiful wife.

2:29 Drew Whoa, whoa.

2:30 Adam No, that's good. That's good. I didn't say she's punk drunk. I said intoxicatingly beautiful, wonderful, wonderful lady. And low-key, do we hear vacuum in the hallway?

2:41 Drew I'm like, what is that?

2:43 Adam Yeah, it's awesome. Also, Adam is going to be in Mother, I'm sorry, Monster in Law, which is coming out this Friday.

2:52 Drew A lot of buzz about that film.

2:53 Adam Seen billboards every ten feet and Jane Fonda's making the rounds.

2:58 Drew I think that's what it's about, is that she's come back and making amends and grown up.

3:02 Adam She's sorry for manning the enemy AK-AK gun for the Viet Cong for many years in the late sixties.

3:11 Adam Scott And it's been 15 years since she was in a movie.

3:13 Adam Oh, it has. 15 years. What was her last movie?

3:16 Adam Scott Stanley and Iris with Robert De Niro. Remember that one?

3:20 Adam I was in it, but you don't know it because I'm that fine.

3:22 Adam Scott I was going to say.

3:23 Drew What was her reason for staying out?

3:26 Adam Scott I think she got married and moved to Atlanta and didn't want to deal with it.

3:31 Adam I'm not sure that Ted Turner wanted her to do anything either. I think his thing was...

3:36 Drew They're still married? They get divorced?

3:37 Adam No, they're divorced. I think he wanted a stay home...

3:41 Drew House Frau.

3:42 Adam House Frau billionaire just to hang out. I bet he squeezes one off to one of our old videos every once in a while.

3:49 Drew Barbrella?

3:50 Adam No, I was thinking workout video.

3:52 Adam Scott Oh, right, right, right.

3:53 Adam I didn't know those were for exercising. I thought they were for beating off. I went to the video store in like 87 and they showed one of a pregnant woman's Arova size. That's disgusting. Yeah, I was like, I guess in a pinch I could squeeze one off, but I do not approve of this at all. And I've raised hell at that place.

4:11 Drew You know there's a special section in every porn shop that includes pregnant women.

4:16 Adam Yeah. Nipples are popping. Yeah.

4:19 Drew Bursting.

4:20 Adam Yeah. Adam is in Monster in Law. And then soon to be coming out, you'll be finding him in The Matador with Pierce Brosnan and Greg Kinnear and Hope Davis. I've been hearing about that Matador movie too. How come? Why is that?

4:34 Adam Scott It was at Sundance. So I think that it got some great reviews and stuff up there. I'm seeing it tomorrow night. I still haven't seen it. I think it comes out at the end of the summer.

4:43 Adam Do you have, how much, I know, this is a semi-retarded question, but-

4:48 Adam Scott Well, I'm a fully retarded person.

4:50 Adam That's why I'm doing it this way. I wouldn't ask this of a guest that was of average intelligence.

4:54 Adam Scott Thank you.

4:56 Adam How much idea of what the final product of Matador is, or any movie do you have when you go see the screening?

5:03 Adam Scott I have no idea. I didn't even know what Monster in Law was going to be like till I saw it like two weeks ago.

5:09 Adam Is it good?

5:10 Adam Scott It's good. It's really funny. The only problem with it, and this is a good problem, is I noticed that it was a packed theater, and the only problem was some of the jokes you missed because people were laughing too much, you couldn't hear them.

5:22 Adam Oh really?

5:23 Adam Scott Yeah. I mean it was the crowd was going crazy the whole time, which was-

5:27 Adam Well, that's nice.

5:28 Adam Scott Yeah, it was fun.

5:28 Adam Was that at a preview?

5:30 Adam Scott It was at the premiere.

5:31 Adam Oh nice. Did you talk to Jennifer Lopez?

5:37 Adam Scott At the premiere?

5:38 Adam No. Did you hang out much on the set?

5:41 Adam Scott Sure. Yeah. It was like three months of doing this thing.

5:45 Adam Jane Fonda? How's she?

5:47 Adam Scott She's very sweet.

5:48 Adam Really?

5:48 Adam Scott Yeah. In the movie, she's hilarious. Hilarious. I might be wrong, but I don't think she's done a comedy like a flat-out comedy since 9 to 5.

6:00 Adam Oh yeah.

6:01 Adam Scott In which she was really funny in, which I just rewatched recently.

6:04 Adam Well, you know the thing I like about her as an actress? She's generous. She's very generous.

6:09 Adam Scott It's true. Because you were in 9 to 5.

6:11 Adam I was in 9 to 5.

6:12 Drew Can't tell she's acting.

6:14 Adam She's generous and as a performer, courageous.

6:17 Adam Scott Is it true you did all of Dabney Coleman's off-camera work for that movie?

6:21 Adam Absolutely.

6:21 Adam Scott Because he was good off-camera.

6:23 Adam He was excellent, like when they would show them talking to him out of frame.

6:27 Adam Scott He was somewhere else.

6:30 Adam Dabney could be poised for a comeback if he's not dead. So tons of good stuff coming out for Adam Scott and the movie coming out this Friday. And I'll see it if you say it's funny.

6:45 Adam Scott It's funny. I promise you it's funny.

6:48 Adam You know, here's my instinct. I don't want to like Jane Fonda and I don't really want to like Jennifer Lopez, but I think they're both good.

6:55 Adam Scott Yeah. It's impossible not to like them in this movie.

6:58 Adam Really?

6:58 Adam Scott And Juan de Sykes too.

7:00 Adam Oh yeah.

7:00 Adam Scott Hilarious.

7:01 Adam She's always good. We know her from Crank Yank and Get It On.

7:04 Oh, rapist.

7:05 Adam Yeah. Oh, Will Arnett's in this too.

7:08 Adam Scott Wow. Yeah, Will Arnett's in it and he is a rapist. Yeah.

7:12 Adam Play that entire Will Arnett thing.

7:14 In order to reach these kids, Hack will have to become a rapist.

7:20 Adam See, I have this running joke that I like and Drew hates, which is I do the promo. This is some of the 70s cop show promo.

7:29 Drew It's always Hack though.

7:30 Adam It's always Hack. I don't know why it's Hack. It just seems like a funny title. But instead of you think it's going one direction, and it goes the other, like they go this week on Hack. In order to catch an international jewel thief, Hack is going to have to become a rapist. See, it's always rape.

7:50 Adam Scott Every week he has to start raping?

7:52 Adam Yeah, so in order to catch a counterfeiter, he's going to have to become a rapist. It's always a rapist. Drew doesn't think it's funny.

7:59 Adam Scott I think it's funny.

8:00 Drew I thought it was funny the first 387 times. The next 6,000, though, it got past me.

8:07 Adam Scott That means that like 10,000 will start getting funny again.

8:09 Drew Maybe. Actually, it's tickling me a little bit this time. I got to tell you.

8:12 Adam I think if I just went straight on, I think this week on HAC., in order to catch a murderer, HAC is going to have to become a rapist.

8:20 Drew Yeah, you do it a little bit.

8:23 Adam He's always right.

8:24 Adam Scott Now, did Will do that here? He did that for you?

8:27 Adam Will did do that, and GMC immediately dropped him from there. He was never campaigned.

8:33 Drew See, we're having a discussion about rape and what rape is, what it is, and what is the clue?

8:37 Adam Well, rape, it's rape, actually. It's a violent crime. It's not an act. It's not a sexual crime.

8:44 Drew It's a violent crime.

8:45 Adam It's not a sexual crime. It's a violent crime where you come at the end.

8:50 Drew But it's not sexual. Not sexual. It's like any violent crime.

8:54 Adam Where you bust a nut. It's for everybody. If I attacked you right now, Adam, and just began beating your head at the microphone and came, it would be no different.

9:02 Drew No different.

9:03 Adam Scott No different.

9:03 It's an act of violence.

9:05 Drew We're going to a liquor store, shoot the guy, and ejaculate. But that would be the same.

9:08 Adam Scott I promise you, I would enjoy it just as much as if you didn't ejaculate.

9:12 Drew Oh, really? Either way.

9:14 Adam Scott Either way, it would be fantastic for me.

9:15 Adam Well, we'll make it a surprise. And if you hear that-

9:16 Drew But nothing sexual about it if he did ejaculate. Nothing.

9:19 Adam Scott Nothing.

9:20 Drew Nothing. Only violent.

9:21 Adam Where you come?

9:22 Drew Where you come?

9:23 Adam It's an act of violence. Where you come? That's all. Danielle, it's like they say certain sports, like hockey's a violent sport.

9:31 Adam Scott Right.

9:31 Adam But, you know, if you came. Then it'd be like, same as right.

9:36 Adam Scott Same as right.

9:37 Adam It's fine.

9:40 Adam Scott Good stuff.

9:41 Adam Danielle?

9:42 Yeah.

9:42 Adam You're 18?

9:44 Caller Yeah.

9:44 Adam What's up?

9:46 Caller Well, I was just calling because, okay, the past couple of weeks, the guy that I've been with since October has been saying that, well, really, he can't get like fully erect. And I don't know if maybe it might be something in his like diet or I don't know.

10:02 Adam No, but what medication, at 18, you could live off charcoal briquettes for three years and still have a good one.

10:08 Drew Absolutely. So it's pharmacological problems or medical problems. Is he diabetic? Is he on drugs? Is he taking steroids? What's going on?

10:17 Caller He doesn't really take any medication or he hasn't. He used to be on Adderall, but that was like probably two years ago.

10:25 Drew Well, I bet he could easily be on something like that again, because that will also do that could potentially do that. What else?

10:32 Caller I don't know, not too much.

10:35 Adam He's your age?

10:36 Caller He's 19, but yeah.

10:38 Drew Way off, Adam, way off.

10:39 Adam Well, that eight months is a huge difference.

10:41 Drew And is he taking any drugs, stimulants, amphetamines, anything like that?

10:45 Caller Not real. I mean, I don't know. I guess he probably does some drugs sometimes.

10:50 Drew But it's not like a... Listen, it is not at all normal for an 18 year old to have this problem. A 19 year old, it guarantee you it's a pharmacological problem. Either he is taking something like Adderall again.

11:00 Adam Or he has a legitimate problem.

11:02 Drew Or he's diabetic and doesn't know it. Or he has a spinal tumor or something.

11:07 Adam Scott What if he masturbates a lot when she's not around and then she comes around and he's worn out?

11:13 Drew It could happen.

11:13 Adam A good theory for a 40 year old. 19 unlimited boners, unlimited. Endless, bottomless bucket of boners. That was what they called me in junior college.

11:24 Adam Scott Bottomless bucket.

11:25 Adam Bad nays.

11:26 Drew No, they said, hey, bucket of boner.

11:28 Adam Yeah, BMB., yeah.

11:29 Caller Well, he actually has said that. I mean, even when he tries to drag off, he can't get fully erect. I mean, we can still have sex and things will go alright. But he just can't get fully erect.

11:39 Drew Did he take steroids at any time in the past?

11:41 Caller Not that I know of, no.

11:43 Adam These guys go to urologists.

11:44 Drew We're speculating here. You need to see a doctor. You need to stop doing drugs.

11:46 Adam Organs. But he has an orgasm.

11:50 Caller Yeah, he does, usually. I mean, sometimes, like.

11:55 Adam Alright.

11:56 Drew The lack of a firm.

11:56 Adam Too much information.

11:58 Drew Lack of a turgid erection. They get that after they were on steroids for a while, sometimes. Ecstasy users get that sometimes. Pot users get it.

12:05 Adam Scott And he has an ejaculation. It's probably just a dollop. It's just like a small drop.

12:11 Adam Yeah. Once in a while. He's got a pastry bag in his underpants. That's awesome. It'd be neat if you could actually do those extruded shapes at the end of your penis.

12:23 Drew Oh, yeah. I thought you invented that.

12:24 Adam Turn your semen into a star. I probably didn't think of that, didn't I?

12:27 Drew You can cut the roll.

12:27 Adam Crescent moon's my favorite. You ought to see me around the Jewish New Year, too. I'm going to do it like Star David. I got my own thing. It's got the dreidel shape. There's this whole holiday package.

12:38 Adam Scott People didn't even have to ask you to just put it on their cookie.

12:41 Caller That's right.

12:43 Adam All right. Come on, let's go. What's going on with this show?

12:45 Drew I don't know.

12:46 Adam Crystal?

12:47 Yes.

12:48 Adam All right. Number three, white trash name, female, right?

12:51 I know. I heard you guys talking about that.

12:53 Adam Cammie Tammy Crystal.

12:55 Drew There you go. What's up, Crystal?

12:57 Thanks. Anyway, I had an affair on my husband back in November, and I had a threesome with another girl and a guy. Since then, I am unable to become sexual with my husband.

13:11 Adam November, you say?

13:13 Yeah.

13:14 Drew Why have you not been able to have sexual feelings with your husband?

13:19 I don't know. I've cheated on him before, and then I've been able to have sex with him. But since this threesome, I just feel gross. I can't even masturbate. All right.

13:29 Drew So this all sounds like a sexual abuse survivor behavior, the sort of life-boater thing, going from weird hypersexual behaviors with no boundaries to shut down. So what happened to you?

13:39 What do you mean?

13:40 Adam Well, something happened because here's the deal.

13:44 Caller You guys are great.

13:45 Adam I don't know. Something happened or you have a tumor, because 22-year-old chicks don't do this. No, they don't.

13:52 Caller It's not me. This is not who I am. I'm a very sexual person.

13:57 Adam I wish it was who I was when I was 22. It wasn't who I am either, but I was trying to be. Well, wait a minute. Did you tell your husband you cheated on him?

14:07 Caller Well, I had before, but I didn't tell him about this time. No.

14:11 Adam I think it's just assumed when you head out on a weekend.

14:13 Drew Are you bipolar?

14:15 Caller How did you guess?

14:16 Drew Yeah, because they don't do this. This is manic behavior. What's up? This is a dual diagnosis. This is trauma survivor and bipolar.

14:26 Caller Do you really think so?

14:28 Drew Maybe trifecta. Maybe sprinkle a drug in there, too.

14:31 Adam Crystal, what happened growing up?

14:34 Drew Nothing. Nothing? What happened growing up, Adam?

14:38 Adam Well, well, well, well, well, well, no, not, not, not, nothing.

14:41 Drew Well, nothing.

14:43 Adam All right. So your dad's around. No one molested you and no one beat on you. Nothing like that.

14:51 Caller Well, no, they didn't. But my first sexual partner that I lost my virginity to, like, I didn't want to do it, but he, like, talked me into it.

15:01 Drew How old were you?

15:02 Caller I was 12.

15:03 Drew That's not a sexual partner, Crystal. That is sexual abuse.

15:06 Adam Plus, my grandfather's gonna be very persuasive at that age. You believe I can do anything.

15:11 Drew Crystal, what are you thinking? It's your bipolar, you were sexually abused. Come on, let's get it going.

15:16 Adam How old was the guy when you were 12?

15:18 Caller 19. He was probably 16.

15:20 Adam Yeah. Yeah, that's rape.

15:22 Adam Scott Yeah.

15:23 Caller But then it was really weird because after we did it, and, like, halfway through I didn't want to do it anymore, and then, like, afterwards I was crying, and he was, like, trying to console me, which is, like, I don't know. That was...

15:33 Adam Scott That's even more confusing, probably.

15:35 Caller That's weird to me, like, I never could handle that far.

15:37 Adam My ladies usually don't make it to the halfway point before they wish it was over. So, you know, about the quarter to one-third.

15:41 Drew And, by the way, that comment makes me believe that even something more happened to her before.

15:44 Adam Yeah. Crystal. Well, first off, your name's Crystal. What else do we need to know? It's a disaster. Yeah. It's not as bad as Angel, but that then...

15:53 Drew All right. So, all this, I'm a sexual person, so that was total BS. You're sexually acting out. You're manic. You have no boundaries. You're destroying a relationship. Okay. You've disgusted yourself now, and now you're shutting down. Come on, Crystal, let's get some treatment here. Can we, please? Yes. First of all, you need meds. You need to be on medication to get that bipolar taken care of. And secondly, you need some therapy to get through the trauma and the bad choices and the horrible relationships.

16:17 Adam Some therapy.

16:18 Caller So, in your opinion, do I need to jump out of this marriage?

16:21 Drew I didn't say that.

16:23 Adam Well...

16:23 Drew I said get professional help.

16:25 Adam And by the way, that's the only thing he didn't say. They gave me 750 options. None of them were that one. You picked the only thing in the universe he didn't say as an option.

16:35 Adam Scott Sounds like Crystal might want to get out of her marriage.

16:37 Drew No, no.

16:38 Adam Scott Looking for an excuse.

16:39 Drew No, do not say that.

16:39 Adam Yes. Yes, but she is... I do agree with Adam.

16:42 Drew Of course she's looking for an excuse, but you don't want to give her that.

16:44 Adam When I say Adam, I mean me, by the way. Not her guess. Crystal. Yes.

16:50 Drew Break it down.

16:50 Adam Let's break it down. Let's go now. You were abused growing up. You're manic. You're mess. Let's do something about this, would you please? And could you please...

16:59 Drew Hey, but she's a sexual person.

17:00 Adam I know. She's a very open, sexual person. Just like the runaway bride got cold feet at the altar. Hey, Crystal, could you please not crap out any kids?

17:10 Caller We have a kid together.

17:11 Adam Oh, please. Could you let a... How about a group of hyenas raise a child so it has a chance?

17:18 Caller I really am a really good mother to her.

17:19 Drew Oh, yes. Yeah, sounds like it. Yes, of course.

17:23 Caller I don't have any addictions. I don't have any addictions.

17:25 Drew Yeah, but you're bipolar, you're unmanaged. That's wonderfully healthy for a child.

17:28 Adam You're nutty. Kids know nuts. They feel nuts. They don't even need to know it. Actually, hold on a second.

17:34 Adam Scott Speaking of feeling nuts.

17:36 Adam Later on in life is when you sort of deny nuts. That's when you take these people with serious disorders and call them runaway brides. When you're a kid, you feel it.

17:44 Drew That's all. You just feel powerless and terrorized.

17:47 Adam And by the way, this whole BS thing of I'm the world's greatest mom, even though, you know, it's because I don't cook the meth in front of the kid. I don't have the threesome in front of the kid. I don't whatever in front of the kid. Listen, I'm sure you love your child. Everybody loves your child. The parents that drowned all their kids in the tub love their kids, believe it or not. Everyone loves their kid while they're beating the F out of them.

18:10 Adam Scott You can rationalize anything you want. You know, like you said, you're doing it in the other room.

18:15 Adam Everybody who kills themselves, you know, kills their wife and then kills her kids and then kills themselves. Actually, they love them too much for the kids. Yeah. Thank God, my parents were sort of indifferent about me.

18:25 Drew You know what I mean? Now they should be turning their attention toward you.

18:29 Adam My dad's like, I think I'll snuff out the kid.

18:32 Caller Who cares?

18:34 Adam What's on TV?

18:35 Drew No, no, no, no.

18:36 Adam Yeah.

18:36 Drew No.

18:37 Adam Crystal.

18:38 Caller OK.

18:38 Adam Get some help. And listen, no more kids.

18:41 Caller Can I ask one question to Dr. Drew?

18:43 Drew Yeah.

18:44 Caller Do you think that if I do think I could ever stop cheating on my husband?

18:50 Drew Not without some help. You're going to listen. You're acting out a cycle of trauma. Every relationship you get into that is close to intimate, you're going to sabotage. And the sex is part of your bipolarity. And it's part of the reenactment of the sexual trauma.

19:04 Adam What if Dr. Phil tells her to pull herself up by her own bootstrap?

19:06 Drew Just decide not to do this. You got to think of the consequences of these actions are.

19:10 Adam You got to think about it, sweetie.

19:11 Drew Oh, please. No matter what you're thinking, you're distorted into a reason to do something wrong.

19:15 Adam Let's get real. Remember, everything happens for a reason. That's my new one.

19:20 Drew Crystal, really, the idea is about, treatment would be about stabilizing this biology that's out of control and then learning to tolerate closeness of other minds, the ability to tolerate closeness of other people without running scared, becoming sexual, creating chaos. That's what treatment would be for you. It's a nicer life. It's much better for your kids.

19:39 Adam All right, mommy. You hear me, mommy?

19:42 Drew All right, you get it together.

19:44 Adam Here's my new policy, by the way. All screwed up, teenage and early 20s moms, we don't call them by their name, we keep calling them mommy. It drives the point home because they're like, so you want to have a crystal? I mean, you want to have a threesome? And you just keep going mommy, and they get really weird about it, and they get guilt and they go take care of their kids. It's going to cook up some meth, mommy.

20:08 Drew Okay, mommy, get some.

20:09 Adam Get some meth, mommy. You just go mommy. But it's kind of weird sexual too when she gets better.

20:15 Drew That's pretty up and it's, I don't know.

20:17 Adam Scott Yeah, get some meth, mommy, is the strength that's going to haunt me in my dreams.

20:21 Drew Or how about let's have a threesome, mommy?

20:23 Adam Yeah, that's my point. It wouldn't do it. But if you're named Crystal, or Tammy, or Cammie, you must have to actually cook meth while you're having a threesome. Is that Tony? Tony, I mean Tony? Yeah. You're 22?

20:40 Caller I was calling because I have sex in my sleep, and I was wondering if there's anything like that's not happening.

20:48 Drew No, no, that happens.

20:49 Adam I know, what do you mean? I know, it happens every day.

20:51 Drew It's a sleep disorder.

20:52 Adam Scott How do you know?

20:54 Drew He'll wake up doing it usually.

20:55 Caller Sometimes I wake up, sometimes I don't. But the time...

20:59 Adam Yeah, the dog's bleeding from the rectum.

21:01 Caller I see. The girl I'm with?

21:05 Adam Yeah. Here's the deal, when you're 22, you have a boner and you dream about sex. Yeah.

21:10 Drew No, but this is a sleep disorder too. And if people have, again, trauma survivors do this, people with the seizure disorders do this, people with other kinds of sleep disturbances will do this.

21:19 Adam No, but sometimes you just do it too.

21:21 Drew But you almost always, it's a sleep disorder, you know, it really is.

21:24 Adam Oh, no, I disagree. If you do it all the time, I think it is. But if you do it once in a while, it's not.

21:30 Adam Scott I would say that's got to be the most awesome sleep disorder I've ever heard of.

21:34 Caller It's actually kind of ruined my relationship.

21:37 Adam Scott Oh, really?

21:38 Caller For a while. It's gotten to the point where I won't even date anybody right now.

21:44 Drew I've got some patients that did this, and they have to be treated very carefully. They go in these alpha states, and they just get to do these weird things. Sometimes they're violent and aggressive. Oh, really?

21:51 Adam Is anyone going to any omega states?

21:54 Drew I'm thinking about doing that. I am, I am.

21:57 Adam You never hear about it. Hey, Tony, wait a minute, Tony, Tony, hold on. This is possibly bogus, by the way, I've not ruled it out.

22:06 Caller I can explain more thoroughly if you think it's bogus. I'll be having a dream, and it's always a dream about having sex, and I'll start having sex with either like, it's usually with a girlfriend, and sometimes I won't wake up at all, but sometimes I'll wake up usually because they're like, what the hell are you doing? And that's the only times I remember it, is if I wake up and-

22:29 Adam Oh, now it's thoroughly believable because you just described what you said, but it was more boring version of what you said 10 minutes ago. So it's gotta be true. Yeah, I do the same thing except for I pee.

22:40 Caller What can I do to make it stop? Is it like a psychological thing?

22:44 Drew Yeah, psychiatrists, this medication will correct it. It's pretty easy to correct usually.

22:48 Adam Well, are you that deep a sleeper?

22:51 Caller Not at all. I don't sleepwalk. I'm not a deep sleeper.

22:54 Adam You're not a deep sleeper. So if I got you in the middle, the four in the morning and walked in and just said, Tony, you just wake up?

23:01 Caller Yeah.

23:03 Adam Scott What if there's no one in the bed?

23:04 Adam That seems weird.

23:05 Adam Scott If there's no one in the bed with you, what are you doing?

23:08 Caller I've woken up masturbating before, but that's pretty rare.

23:13 Adam I like to surprise myself when I'm waking up masturbating. Oh, nice. Kind of like breakfast and bed from your hand.

23:20 Adam Scott Well, good morning, man.

23:21 Adam Oh, look who's frisky.

23:23 Drew Mr. Hand.

23:23 Adam My hand's like, it's all right. It's like, it's all right. What time do you get up, Mr.?

23:28 Caller 8 o'clock.

23:29 Adam Wow, you're friskers. I'm near my period. And it gets horny.

23:34 Drew Oh, my.

23:35 Adam What's happened to me, Drew? All right, so go talk to a psychiatrist. That's a weird one.

23:40 Drew It's weird that he's done. It's not that weird.

23:42 Adam No, the weird part is that he doesn't deem himself a heavy sleeper.

23:46 Drew It's a unique, I can't tell you that it is related to heavy sleep. It's a sleep disturbance.

23:51 Adam Let me ask you this. What it is related to heavy sleep? You know almost right, even though he claimed to be a doctor. What male sometime between 19 or in 25, during the first years of sleeping in bed with a naked female, did not wake up at four in the morning on top of her, never did that?

24:11 Drew No.

24:11 Adam Now, you say everyone has, Drew, everyone but you.

24:15 Drew Everyone but me, then?

24:16 Adam Everyone but you.

24:17 Drew Yeah?

24:17 Adam Scott I'm sure, yeah.

24:18 Drew Yeah.

24:20 Adam No, you do. No, because you say you're, you say you're asleep, but you're not really, you're sort of asleep. You know what I mean? It's a weird, it's a weird in between phase. We've talked about this a million times.

24:32 Drew I'm not going to miss that.

24:33 Adam It's like, it's like when you don't remember going to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Or don't remember. No, I'm not drinking. You know, you get that phone call in the middle of the night. It used to happen years ago. I don't know why it doesn't happen anymore. Probably because I don't answer the phone. But you get that phone call in the middle of the night and you don't remember the conversation you had. But you weren't technically asleep when you're having it. But you don't really remember it. Every 19-year-old guy has had that sex with the chick who was sleeping in bed. Not technically asleep of it, but middle of the night doesn't really remember like the phone call.

25:05 Drew All I can tell you is I've not experienced it and it's not been reported to me by any man. That's all I know.

25:10 Adam Scott It sounds like this guy is doing something that's embarrassing.

25:13 Drew He's repeatedly doing it. It freaks him out. Usually that's part of the syndrome is they are freaked out by it. Because again, oftentimes they'll get aggressive.

25:20 Adam How can you not know? So you've done it, but you've just woken up. You just wake up and say, we're going to have sex?

25:26 Drew Right.

25:28 Adam That robotically like we are going to have sex? Yes.

25:31 Drew I'm not sure I would say have sex, more like engage in human reproductive action.

25:38 Adam Human act where I come.

25:40 This conversation can serve no purpose anymore.

25:43 Adam All right.

25:43 Goodbye.

25:44 Adam All right, Drew. All I'm saying is, we're going to break. I know I'm beating the crap out of this, but all I'm saying is, this has never happened to you, and that's why it seems weird.

25:53 Drew And I'm not arguing with you.

25:53 Adam Here's what I'm saying. You take the man's libido at 22.

25:58 Drew Makes sense.

25:59 Adam You take the fact that he has a boner six out of the eight hours he's asleep. You take the fact that he's been dreaming about sleeping with a naked woman since he was in his Wee below troupe and that gets a good banging at 4 a.m. Yeah, I'm with you. All right. Adam Scott in studio tonight. He's in Monster in Law. Who's who's girl who's a boyfriend? Are you are you a boyfriend in this?

26:19 Adam Scott I'm no, I'm a single. I'm gay.

26:23 Adam Oh, really? But tell us about the movie.

26:27 Drew You're gay.

26:28 Adam That's solid. That's enough.

26:30 Caller We'll take a break.

26:32 Adam More revelations from Adam Scott. Wait till I tell his wife.

26:34 I see her at work.

26:36 Adam I'm sure she knows some things out, but I don't know if she knows this. More bombshells from Adam after this. Loveline.

26:43 Okay, wait, wait. My hair, my hair.

26:46 Adam We'll be right back.

26:47 Drew You're gay.

27:10 Adam You do the show then, I'm not doing it.

27:12 Drew What's the matter?

27:13 Adam I don't like when you do that, it's not gonna be good, it's not gonna be a good call. It's not gonna be a good call, and then you'll make it a bad call. Yes, you do. No, I don't do that. You don't do it as bad as you used to since I started harping on it, but it's still like a point of like-

27:27 Drew Let's try it. I'll try to make it as good as possible.

27:28 Adam But why go into it with like, ah, it's not gonna work.

27:31 Drew I'll try to make it good as possible.

27:33 Adam Scott I'm getting really uncomfortable.

27:34 Adam All right, sorry. Adam Scott is a- Adam Scott is a peer tonight from Monster in Law. Drew doesn't want to help the kids. I do. That's what we're arguing about during the break. Daphne, 21.

27:50 Caller Yeah.

27:51 Drew What's going on?

27:51 Caller Mr. Corolla, I think you're one of the smartest men alive.

27:55 Adam All right then. Yeah. I knew it. I had a feeling about this call.

27:59 Caller Dr. Drew, when I was 16, I had unprotected sex and that same day I went to go get the after the morning after.

28:06 Drew Yes. Brilliant. You're a genius.

28:08 Adam Wow.

28:08 Adam Scott Excellent choice.

28:09 Adam Something for everybody. And did you see the aviator?

28:13 Caller No, I didn't.

28:14 Adam All right. Well, what can you do? Two out of three. Not bad. Excellent choice. And what 21 year old girl who's having unprotected sex isn't in the life of Howard Hughes in Los Angeles.

28:26 Drew Come on.

28:27 Caller Yeah.

28:28 Adam All right. So question is?

28:30 Caller Okay. I've been sexually active for the past four or five years and I've never orgasmed without vibrator.

28:40 Adam Do you involve the vibrator in the, with the partner?

28:43 Caller Yes.

28:44 Adam Oh, you do.

28:45 Drew So that's good. That's a rare talent.

28:47 Adam Never now. See, Drew, we never talked to these people.

28:50 Adam Scott How long do you wait before you introduce the vibrator into a new relationship?

28:55 Adam Second date at dinner.

28:56 Caller I've been with the same person for the past.

28:58 Adam Hold on, let me toss that sound for you.

29:00 Drew You've been with the same guy for five years?

29:01 Adam Scott I'll have the cheeseburger and look at this.

29:03 Drew Did you say five years?

29:04 Caller Yes.

29:05 Drew So since the beginning, since you had the unprotected sex at 16 and the morning after pill, same guy.

29:11 Adam Same guy. And the vibrator comes out when he goes in?

29:16 Caller Yeah.

29:17 Drew Oh, no, wait a minute. This is actually an important point for us. Do you orgasm with him inside you?

29:23 Caller Sometimes, yes.

29:25 Adam With the aid of the vibrator?

29:27 Yes.

29:28 Drew What's your preference?

29:30 Caller The vibrator.

29:31 Drew Without him inside?

29:33 Oh, yeah.

29:34 Adam Scott Yeah, so without him in the room?

29:36 Adam Where's he at?

29:37 Caller No, he's right here. Well, not right here, but he's there.

29:41 Adam What's he doing?

29:44 Drew Watching?

29:45 Caller Reading?

29:47 Caller I guess watching.

29:49 Adam He's just hanging out?

29:50 Caller Yeah.

29:51 Adam Okay.

29:52 Drew All right, so what's the question?

29:53 Caller I just wanted to know if that was normal or...

29:56 Drew It's fine. You're a super normal. You're ahead of the game.

29:59 Adam We talk to many women, and this is the difference between men and women, who use a vibrator, have an orgasm, but don't have the orgasm with the vibrator with their man.

30:09 Drew I actually think for some women, the penis inside becomes inhibitory.

30:14 Adam Oh, I know it does. I mean, oh, oh.

30:16 Drew That's if they can feel it, Adam, it becomes inhibitory.

30:18 Adam I tell them it's in, and then I think it blocks it mentally.

30:22 Drew I think it does. It's sort of like they can't, whatever reason, can't get the right whatever going, and even with the vibrate that you normally, you know.

30:28 Adam I know. I think my penis is like a kryptonite to the orgasm.

30:31 Drew That's what I'm saying.

30:32 Adam Kill it. They could have one if I was around.

30:35 Adam Scott Is it green and clear? You can see through it?

30:39 Adam And a silver-haired Brando strokes it. All right. In his big crystal palace. Nice place he lives.

30:48 Adam Scott Gene Hackman keeps it.

30:50 Adam Yeah. Think about Marlon Brando's Superman house on planet kryptonite or whatever he's from. It looks cool, but not comfortable.

30:58 Drew No, harsh.

30:58 Adam Yeah. It doesn't seem like a good place to read a book or take a nap.

31:01 Drew Where would you put the fire?

31:02 Adam You sit on like a stalactite.

31:07 Drew It sucks. You're made of steel yourself.

31:09 Adam I guess so, but even so, you'd want at least a director's chair or a bean bag in there.

31:13 Drew Yeah.

31:15 Adam Maybe one of those 70s bar stools. Maybe they had a place done recently right before the movie. There's probably a bunch of wood paneling up and cheese blowing on the ceiling.

31:24 Adam Scott You know Brando had his own room in that house that had a lazy boy and a nice fireplace with a big bare rug.

31:32 Adam And a TV tray.

31:33 Adam Scott Yeah.

31:33 Adam Yeah. What happened to the TV tray?

31:36 Drew Dodo.

31:37 Adam People eat and they watch TV. What happened to the TV tray?

31:39 Adam Scott I had one until like four years ago.

31:41 Adam It's a nice item.

31:41 Adam Scott It always comes in handy. Always.

31:43 Yeah.

31:44 Adam Went the way of the Dodo. Emily?

31:47 Yes.

31:47 Adam You're 28?

31:49 Caller Yes. And I was calling. I went through, I guess, a weird sexual abuse as a kid. Well, as a teenager, I was kicked out of my mom's house at the home of the story and went to live with my father for a couple of years. And he started masturbating about me, telling me that it was about me, that there were, you know, that his fantasies-

32:14 Adam Hold on. Let me chime in. Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

32:17 Drew He would tell you what?

32:19 Adam Your dad would tell you he's having masturbatorial fantasies about you?

32:25 Caller Yes. About me, I would come out of the shower and he would be sitting in the living room, masturbating.

32:31 Drew Where's my bourbon? What a mess.

32:33 Adam I can see it. I can take it as a compliment though.

32:36 Drew All right. So what's the question? What is the question?

32:38 Caller Well, two things.

32:39 Caller Is this something that you've-

32:40 Caller I've never heard of this before. I've never heard of anyone else going through this.

32:44 Adam Well, here's the thing. Your dad is effed up royally.

32:47 Drew Whatever has happened to you has happened to other people, guaranteed.

32:50 Adam Yeah. But no, here's the thing. It is unique. It's unique. But when you're really effed up, all bets are off. It can go a thousand different weird directions.

33:00 Drew Right. This is very poor sexual boundaries. At least he didn't actually penetrate you, but it's getting close. Just a horrible, horrible.

33:09 Adam Did he ever act on anything?

33:11 Caller No. There were a couple of times where he would try to look at me and tell me he was comparing my body to my mother's or something. Oh, man. Which, you know, I used to... Let's see.

33:22 Drew A heroin addict or something? Yeah.

33:24 Adam Or a drunk.

33:26 Caller Yeah. Well, he did smoke a lot of pot.

33:28 Drew All right. Really? Well, it sounds like a little more than pot, to tell you the truth, but whatever.

33:32 Adam Yeah, this is not...

33:33 Caller That was all, though, because that was very well known in the family. That was not, you know, a big secret.

33:38 Drew Yeah, but he might have been doing something else, too.

33:40 Adam Scott If it was just pot, he would be masturbating to, like, peanut M&Ms.

33:44 Adam Yeah. Think of Nilla Wafers. Yeah.

33:48 Adam Scott Actually, in the middle of...

33:50 Adam Yeah, I didn't know they were frosted. Don't worry about it. Just eat them up. Okay.

33:53 Caller You eat like a moon shake?

33:55 Adam Quit critiquing the cookies to beat up, would you? All right, here's the thing. What happened to Nilla Wafers? Did anyone eat those?

34:03 Drew They're round?

34:04 Adam You eat them? When's the last Nilla Wafers you had?

34:07 Drew I think I just saw my kids with some this week, yeah. I didn't eat any.

34:11 Adam Scott Good man.

34:11 Adam No frosting, though.

34:12 Drew No, no.

34:13 Adam Here's the thing.

34:13 Adam Scott Just to doll up.

34:14 Drew This is like, this is royally effed up, and this guy had his mental disorders, I mean, in a big, big way. Yes, agreed.

34:25 Adam So, I mean, here's the thing, Emily, either you're exaggerating this or making it up, I'm not saying you are, or this guy needs to be institutionalized. What, which, where is he now?

34:35 Caller I keep, you know, lives in the same place, and we actually have a rather, I mean, have a good relationship now. It's not something that we've ever dealt with between us, but I've dealt with individually.

34:46 Caller And I don't know what would you therapy?

34:51 Caller Well, I, you know, I came from a family that both ends were completely screwed up. And so at about 17, I just kind of, you know, went through therapy, went through my thing, and got rid of all of that as far as I had with my dad.

35:06 Adam I'm sure. But Emily, is outside of this, has he been a good father? And that sounds bizarre.

35:14 Caller Well, no, but yeah, actually he has. I mean, he's actually, in a lot of ways, the one who's been more grounded and level-headed between our shares.

35:24 Adam So when he wasn't openly stroking himself to your image, he was an exemplary father?

35:31 Caller Yeah.

35:31 Drew Father of the Year at Hennepin Town.

35:33 Adam Since it's impossible to judge, there's nothing we can say about this. Besides, everything happens for a reason. There must have been a reason your dad was beating off to you. Listen, I don't claim to know what God is thinking. I don't claim to know what his master plan is. I do know everything happens. Everything, Drew. Couldn't they just modify that to most stuff happens for a reason?

35:51 Drew Some of it we just can't explain.

35:52 Adam They have to say all idiots, it's everyone's new thing. Everything happens for a reason. Really, dad beating off to a 13-year-old. They have a reason?

36:00 Adam Scott Just the easy way out for just about anything.

36:02 Adam Here's the thing, how about just saying I have nothing to say?

36:05 Adam Scott Right.

36:05 Adam Here's what I'd like. I'm not that smart. I don't have any particular thoughts about this. I'm actually confused. To be fair, I'm hungry. Who has an ill-wife?

36:12 Adam Scott Actually, I'm going to go so far as to say, saying that everything happens for a reason is almost like just walking out of the room. You should leave the conversation.

36:21 Adam I would prefer you just not say anything and leave the room. So, Emily.

36:26 Drew Mr. Sentry, Mr. Dunlap.

36:27 Adam You're doing good, but can you not forgive him for this? Can you move on as if it never happened? What do you do?

36:34 Caller Well, I mean, that's kind of what I had to do, was just forgive him and move on. That's, I mean, what are the options?

36:41 Adam I mean, do you want to have a relationship with this guy?

36:44 Caller Yeah, we have a rather close relationship now. I mean, I still, I don't hug him. I don't, you know, there are certain distances I keep, but...

36:55 Adam How about your kids coming around him?

36:57 Drew Oh, no, no.

36:58 Caller Well, I don't have children yet, so...

36:59 Drew All right, if you do, nobody, the kids are not around him.

37:02 Caller Yeah, well, that's part of the other part of the podcast.

37:05 Adam But you've got to, if you keep in touch with the guy and you socialize with him, then when you have kids, he's at the hospital. He's wanting to watch him the first weekend. You know what I'm saying?

37:15 Adam Scott I know. Does she confront him about this? I mean, what does she do?

37:19 Adam See, I'm all for just cutting the guy off. The guy's a weirdo. It is inexcusable. I don't know how you ever get past this. And is he that great a guy now that you need to keep this thing going with him? And isn't it always in the back of your mind when you are with him anyway? I mean, how can you enjoy the bumper cars or the picnic or whatever, the bowling, whatever you do with your dad when you're thinking about this?

37:40 Drew When he's a perp.

37:41 Adam Yeah.

37:42 Caller It's really not that much anymore. I mean, I've gotten...

37:46 Adam All right. You don't think about it, but I'm not so sure. I mean, I'm good for you, but what about the kids? And then then what about the husband? And then eventually the husband gets all weirded out. And it's like, how would you feel as a husband? Oh, we're going over his place for the fourth of July. Yeah, we're going to crack a beer and sit out in the back and watch. What would you do as a husband? Like as a husband, I'd be like, screw that guy. I don't want to see that guy. Weirdo.

38:10 All right.

38:11 Adam People don't judge enough.

38:13 Drew You're right. But we do our fair share here.

38:15 Adam We do a lot of judging. People need to judge. I said this many times. My dad didn't do anything. My dad, he didn't masturbate in front of me. He didn't do anything, but he missed a couple of Pop Warner football games.

38:24 Drew Never forgiven him.

38:25 Adam I've never forgiven him. Am I right?

38:27 Drew Yeah.

38:28 Adam All right. Imagine if he'd beaten off in front of me instead of the other way around.

38:33 Drew Oh, you in front of him?

38:34 Adam Wasn't intentional. You're going to bust into a 16 year old's room. Well, the room is a garage.

38:40 Adam Scott That's like a 30% chance that the kid's going to be a master.

38:43 Adam You're asking trouble. We're taking a break. Melissa?

38:46 Caller Yes.

38:47 Adam We're taking a break.

38:48 Caller Okay.

38:49 Drew What's your question, though?

38:51 Caller My husband doesn't like to have sex with me anymore.

38:54 Adam No.

38:54 Caller All right.

38:55 Adam Drew, that does not compute to a-

38:58 Drew Did somebody speak? Somebody said something?

39:00 Adam Drew is a very sensual man as well as being a passionate man.

39:07 Drew Is that right?

39:08 Adam It's a great combination. He's a man of great sensuality. And not many males are. Most women are sensual.

39:15 Drew We left that word behind like 1979.

39:17 Adam It's a creepy word, sensual.

39:19 Drew It's a creepy, horrible word.

39:20 Adam Drew is a man of passion and a man of sensuality. Adam Scott here, also a man of sensuality, but ironically not a passionate man.

39:30 Adam Scott I go back and forth between the two. Kind of vacillate, if you will.

39:34 Adam We will ease out, by the way, from Monster in Love. We will take ourselves a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

39:41 Caller Loveline.

39:42 Okay, wait, wait.

39:44 Caller My hair, my hair.

39:45 Caller We'll be right back. Hey, everybody, Loveline.

39:56 Adam This is your very sensual host, Adam Corolla. Passionate, passionate man, Dr. Drew, to my left, and tonight's guest, the asensual Adam Scott, to be without sensuality.

40:10 Adam Scott That's not without or with, it's just, you're just not sure if he's sensual or not.

40:15 Adam Yeah, the jury's still out on your sensuality.

40:16 Adam Scott As elusive as a dream and as sensual as apparently nothing.

40:21 Adam Monster Law is the name of his new movie, which is coming out this Friday, May 13th. Been seeing good reviews on it, seeing billboards everywhere, everywhere. How does that work? Do the movie companies own all those billboards and keep just contract, I mean, they probably contract them out, but how do they get everything on at that exact time?

40:45 Adam Scott I think Clear Channel owns most of them.

40:50 Drew Oh, really?

40:50 Adam I want to get in that business, by the way.

40:52 Drew Well, I was thinking, you never see people putting them up. They change, pow.

40:56 Adam Scott It's weird.

40:56 Adam Yeah. It used to be there'd be some guy in white coveralls with the painter's cap. One guy was fat, the other guy was extra tall and thin to make the other guy look fatter.

41:04 Four minutes.

41:05 Adam And they're on there, they're the rollers and the paper, and they would paper over the guy and he just sees the outline in there. Lots of comedy around the billboards also.

41:14 Drew No good anymore, though.

41:15 Adam Gone now, because it's all done on some kind of computer graphics laser thing and some guy comes in at four in the morning and 15 minutes later it's up.

41:22 Drew Is that it? It zaps it on there?

41:24 Adam Scott They must, that must be what they do.

41:26 Adam Stuff is rolled out, it used to be done in pieces the size of actual postage stamps.

41:32 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah.

41:33 Adam Yeah, like.

41:33 Drew And now?

41:35 Adam Scott That's why they needed a fat guy and a skinny guy because of the postage stamps.

41:38 Adam Yeah, it would be, it would be, it was like Dekopash or something, 14,000.

41:42 Yes, and the Oprah billboards actually, they have what's on the show that day.

41:47 Adam Scott Yeah, I've noticed that. Like in Echo Park, there's one.

41:50 Drew How do they do that?

41:51 Adam Scott And it makes me angry.

41:52 They pull off like one level and then underneath is the next week.

41:55 Adam Scott They put the next one.

41:56 The next show, yeah.

41:57 Drew But somebody has to go around.

41:58 Adam Someone's gotta go around and pull them off.

41:59 Caller It's like wallpaper, they just strip it off and it's underneath.

42:02 Adam Yeah. Well, it's not like wallpaper, you know what it's like? In racing, the guys on their helmets. Well, let me explain, Drew.

42:09 Drew Yeah, I know what you're gonna say. I'm listening.

42:10 Adam I know, but Adam doesn't know what I'm talking about. He's an actor.

42:13 Adam Scott He doesn't know anything about motorcross. I was just thinking about myself.

42:16 Adam In motorcross, but other forms of racing, too, they'll take multiple layers of clear plastic and put it over their face shields, over the goggles. So when mud or whatever gets spattered on it, they rip it off and it's a clean one underneath. So what Oprah does is goes in reverse order and just keeps ripping it off and goes back.

42:36 Adam Scott Yeah, but on the Oprah ones, throughout the day, they'll keep changing it, telling you how the show's going that day.

42:41 Adam Yeah, it's eerie.

42:42 Adam Scott It's weird.

42:43 Adam Yeah.

42:44 Adam Scott Like it will change twice as you're driving by.

42:46 Adam He's kidding, Drew. Come on, buddy. Drew gave a look. He was like, Scooby-Doo look. So gullible, Drew. Melissa?

42:56 Caller Yes.

42:57 Adam 21, sensual and gullible. That's Dr. Drew.

43:02 Caller Yeah, my husband doesn't have a sex drive anymore.

43:05 Adam Scott Gollible.

43:06 Drew Your husband doesn't?

43:08 Caller No, not at all.

43:10 Adam Scott How long have you been married?

43:12 Caller A year.

43:13 Drew Is he on medication?

43:15 No.

43:17 Adam And anything changed in the relationship?

43:21 Caller We had a baby. Seven months.

43:25 Drew Guys can get a little weirded out about that sometimes. The whole idea of, well, not just that, the body changes that the mom goes through, but the fact that she is now, no, the fact that she is now mom freaks guys out sometimes.

43:37 Adam Scott What about while you were going through the pregnancy? Were you guys sexually active?

43:42 Caller Yeah. I mean, I gained a lot of weight. I gained about 60 pounds and he was fine up until I had her. And then of course we didn't have sex probably like six weeks after, but ever since, I mean, he just doesn't have sex that much. I've lost pretty much all my weight. And I have a pretty high sex drive. I kind of need it probably, I mean, at least once a day. And at least, yeah, at least.

44:08 Adam What's he good for a week?

44:12 Caller He goes maybe once every two weeks. And I always have to insist that he doesn't ever come on to me.

44:19 Adam Scott He, I mean, you have to insist.

44:23 Caller Yeah, I pretty much, I mean, I have to go down on him or do something to, you know, to start it out and get him in the middle.

44:30 Drew But insistence is go.

44:31 Adam Listen, that mower's not gonna start without a couple tugs on the rope.

44:35 Adam Scott It's true.

44:36 Adam You know what I'm saying? That's what the BJ is. It's brrr, brrr. So I just need a couple of those to get the weed whacker.

44:41 Adam Scott It's persuasive.

44:43 Adam Yeah, it's hard to argue.

44:44 Adam Scott Good way to get it started.

44:46 Drew Well, I'd still worry it's not easy.

44:48 Adam And it works in almost every porn I've seen.

44:49 Drew Is he depressed, is he doing drugs, got medications?

44:52 Adam Yeah, let's figure this stuff out. The other thing too is there's a weird dynamic sometimes is that once the pursuer becomes the prey, it just turns into this weird, you know, it's a weird thing. It's almost like in a relationship, somebody has to be the aggressor and somebody has to be the person sort of.

45:12 Drew There is that, but I think guys especially have weird fantasies about consumption.

45:16 Adam Yeah, and so now he's kind of freaked out probably and doesn't even know why.

45:22 Adam Scott And there's a baby in the picture and that adds more stress to the relationship.

45:26 Drew Frustration, anxiety.

45:27 Adam Are you, Melissa, is he responding to anything in you though? Were you ever molested or is there any kind of weird stuff going on in your life that he's freaked out about?

45:38 Caller No, I was never molested or anything.

45:41 Adam Everything's cool with you?

45:43 Caller Yeah, I mean.

45:44 Drew Is there any possibility he's doing drugs?

45:46 Caller No, he's not on drugs, he doesn't drink, he works a lot. Yeah, and he basically he works so much when he gets home, he's too tired and I mean.

45:57 Adam Was there anything you were going to tell us before Drew cut you off?

46:02 Caller Well, I mean, my father physically abused me when I was a baby, like a little kid, but other than that, I mean, I wasn't molested or anything.

46:10 Drew The physical abuse is a pretty important thing. Yeah.

46:13 Adam Here's what happens, and I don't know that this is happening, but-

46:16 Drew That aggression comes out.

46:18 Adam What happens is, guys, I don't think they articulate it. They're just sort of, their spidey sense starts tingly, where she gets a little nutty because she got over stimulated when she was young. Now she needs it every day, and the guy's feeling is sort of like, something weird is coming this way, and I just want to watch TV. And then he starts to shut down a little bit because your weirdness is what sort of- At the beginning, you guys are both effing like rabbits. All bets are off, but now you have a kid, now you're mommy, now you're coming at him, and he's sensing that weirdness. I know we got to take a break. Melissa?

46:53 Caller Yeah.

46:53 Adam Have you got any help for the fact that your dad beat on you?

46:58 Caller No.

46:59 Drew Might be worthwhile doing that.

47:00 Adam See if you can get your husband, talk to him about it. Why don't you just have an open talk with him about it? But you should get some help for them. All right. Get some help for the abuse your dad put down on you.

47:11 Drew It also makes me worry about who he is, given your dad.

47:14 Adam All right. We'll take ourselves a little break. Adam Scott here, a sensual man from Monster in Law, and we'll be back in a few. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191-ER. Tomorrow night from The Contender, my favorite new TV show, Sergio the Latin Snake.

48:16 Adam Scott Oh, man, that show is awesome.

48:18 Adam It is.

48:19 Adam Scott It's a great show.

48:20 Adam Awesome. It is so compelling.

48:22 Adam Scott This past Sunday, Best Fight Yet by far.

48:25 Adam Easily.

48:26 Adam Scott Unbelievable.

48:27 Adam It's a show where you're literally, and I hate people who say literally because they usually say jumped out of my skin. I literally, no, Drew, do you understand?

48:35 Drew I wonder what happened to your skin.

48:36 Adam I literally, literally, literally jumped out of my skin. This guy scared me so much. Literally, literally, literally, literally. I can't stand that guy. If I could find that guy to somehow, if I could find a guy who could weave in literally, misuse literally and then misuse the everything happens for a reason and then wrap it all up with, but at the end of the day, everything happens for a reason. I literally jumped out of my skin and then realized at the end of the day, everything happens for a reason and then work the how so in there.

49:06 Adam Scott You know what I'm sick of is people who say, I didn't love that movie. Why don't you just say you hated it?

49:14 Adam Yeah.

49:14 Adam Scott I didn't love it.

49:18 Adam I like it. I just don't like like it. No.

49:21 Drew I'm getting uncomfortable with this whole thing.

49:23 Adam Adam is in the movie Monster in Law. And yeah. So tomorrow night, Sergio and yes, the the thing about the thing about what are we talking about? The contender. The thing about the contender is at the end of the fight, you are on your feet. You are not on your feet sort of cheering like pacing. You're nervous. You're uncomfortable.

49:41 Adam Scott Absolutely.

49:42 Adam You're wringing your hands. It's really, it's tense. I mean, actually you have a sort of visceral reaction to it. You're sort of pacing around.

49:51 Adam Scott Well, because you get to know these guys so well, but it's such a good show in that you really go into these guys' lives.

49:57 Adam Yeah. And when they're going at it, at the end, it's just, it's like seeing two good friends of yours or two friends of yours beating the crap out of each other. It's really compelling stuff. Anyway, Sergio is one of the better fighters on the squad. And I think he's down to the final four, going for that million bucks being here tomorrow night. And again, it's one of those things, Drew, we always talk about how everyone writes these workout books and all these kind of stuff. Probably the best fighter in the whole group, the other Latin guy, is the guy who looks worse with his shirt off.

50:33 Drew Really? Interesting.

50:34 Adam Yeah. If you were a doctor and you had to draw blood, you couldn't find a vein on the guy. Wow. Which guy? The other Mexican. Alfonso. Oh, yeah. If you saw him at the beach with his shirt off, you'd be like, hey, skinny, go get me a Mountain Dew from the snack bar. I'll put a good whooping on you. It's like Roberto Duran. Roberto Duran just had this layer of thick skin around his midsection and stuff. But how does that work?

51:02 Drew That's James.

51:02 Adam There's no muscle tone in the guy's arm while he's beating the crap out of you.

51:07 Adam Scott There's a few guys like that on the show that aren't really sculpted in any way.

51:11 Adam Most of them, it's hard to be 155 pounds and not have an ounce of fat on you and not look good with your shirt off, but a couple of them manage to do it.

51:21 Drew Amazing.

51:22 Adam And they're the better fighters in the group. And that's all I'm saying. And all these guys do is skip rope and do pushups all day.

51:29 Drew We need a contender swan.

51:31 Adam We do. See which one's the best looking guy who ever beat the crap out of you? And we make them over.

51:36 Drew The swan, yeah.

51:37 Adam Oh yeah, the swan. What happened to the swan? Is that around?

51:40 Drew I don't think so.

51:41 Adam Scott Oh, I hope it's coming back. I do too.

51:43 Adam I like when they pull the gauze off the person's face and start screaming in front of you. In the mirror.

51:47 Adam Scott It's good stuff. Quality.

51:49 Adam You'd look at yourself in a spoon or something, wouldn't you?

51:52 Adam Scott All right.

51:53 Adam Or in the reflection of water, like the story, right?

51:57 Adam Scott I literally looked at my reflection in the water and I couldn't believe it.

52:01 Drew I literally fell in a dive.

52:02 Caller Literally died.

52:03 Adam Literally died and what the hell? Jessica?

52:07 Hello?

52:07 Adam You're 20?

52:08 Caller Yes.

52:09 Adam What's up?

52:10 Caller Well, like almost two years ago, about a year and a half ago or something like that, my ex hit me with a car and he shattered my pelvis bone and there's pee still stuck in my uterus, uterine wall, and I'm pregnant.

52:26 Adam You gotta get a better HMO.

52:28 Caller If that would complicate.

52:29 Adam Number one. Drew, does anyone ever just break their pelvis in one place? They always seem to shatter it.

52:36 Drew No, you can break it. Usually it's two places, actually. The pubic rami down here. Just go ding, ding.

52:41 Adam But they call that shattered.

52:42 Caller That must shatter.

52:43 Drew Pelvis is a little different. Shatters when you take one of the pelvic crests or something gets broken into pieces.

52:47 Adam I think people are loose with that term. He intentionally ran you over or hit you with the car?

52:52 Caller Yes.

52:53 Adam And why did he do that?

52:55 Caller I'm not sure. He was into drugs and stuff pretty bad and I don't know, he just tripped out one day.

53:03 Adam Did you run in front of the car and yell, you're not going to your buddy's house?

53:07 Caller No, I was standing in the driveway. He was coming in.

53:10 Drew He was a runaway bride.

53:11 Adam Oh, he was coming into the driveway.

53:13 Drew Yeah.

53:13 Caller And I was standing there.

53:14 Adam You guys hadn't been arguing or anything?

53:17 Caller He pulled me slow and then he saw me and he just sped up and hit me.

53:20 Adam Scott Oh, God.

53:21 Drew Wow.

53:21 Adam What are we doing in the driveway?

53:28 Caller I was waiting for him to come home.

53:30 Adam Did you guys talk on the phone?

53:32 Caller No.

53:33 Drew Did you call the police?

53:35 Caller Well, yeah, his mom did.

53:37 Drew Afterwards.

53:39 Adam Do you just generally go out in the driveway and wait for him to come home?

53:43 Caller Well, he had the keys and I was locked out of the trailer. Trailer.

53:47 Adam So by the way, hold on, you can get into a trailer with a can opener. You don't need keys. You can't get locked out of a trailer. You could punch your way into a trailer.

53:58 Adam Scott You can't get locked out. I think you can push your way into it.

54:03 Adam Yes, you can lean it your way into a trailer. You look. All I got to do is drill out a couple of pop rivets and peel it open. And I mean, yeah, it's no excuse for being locked over. And by the way, here's what I'm guessing. First of all, when you have a trailer, you don't have a driveway. You'll get gravel. Yeah.

54:23 Drew Well, it's not a driveway. Yeah, it's a ramp.

54:25 Adam He locked them up. He locked them up in a sled enter. But he's-

54:29 Drew Asian?

54:29 Adam He's in the, okay, Asian or Jew? Asian or Jew? And I've been wrong the last 15 times I've tried this, but I gotta be right this time. Is this guy an Asian or a Jew? Neither.

54:41 Caller Oh my God!

54:43 Caller I can't believe it!

54:45 Adam It's all there. The ephedamine abuse, the prison, the trailer, the running into the girlfriend. Drew, how many times have I been wrong about this?

54:54 Drew Every time.

54:55 Caller Every time!

54:56 Adam It's all there too. Oh, I can't believe it.

55:00 Adam Scott What about the mom calling the cops on her son?

55:04 Adam The Japanese!

55:04 Adam Scott It's a complicated situation.

55:07 Drew So, Jessica, of course having a shattered pelvis, having bone in your uterine wall will affect things. I can't really predict how much it's going to affect.

55:14 Adam Don't they want to get that out?

55:15 Drew Too late now.

55:16 Adam It is. Because she's pregnant?

55:18 Drew Yeah.

55:19 Adam Who got you pregnant this time? I mean, who's this guy?

55:22 Caller My current boyfriend. We're still together and we're going to get married and everything, but.

55:27 Drew The guy that hit you?

55:29 Caller Huh? No, no, no, no.

55:31 Adam New guy. Yeah.

55:32 Drew New guy.

55:32 Adam It's good that you underline still, by the way, when you're talking about a new guy.

55:36 Drew We're still together.

55:37 Adam It's crystal clear. The guy you haven't spoken about before, you're still together.

55:40 Drew Crystal should be Jessica's real name.

55:42 Adam Thank goodness you and this guy we've never heard of have made it.

55:45 Drew Is Jessica your real name?

55:46 Caller Yes.

55:47 Adam Okay. So Jessica, I'm sure the doctors would say something if they thought this was going to pose a threat.

55:54 Caller I talked to her and she told me she didn't know if it would complicate anything or not.

55:58 Adam You're going to a sheet? You're going to a chick doctor?

56:01 Drew Yeah.

56:01 Adam Oh, man. Wow. You better talk to a dude, stat.

56:06 Drew She's talking to one now and I don't know either. It's obviously not normal. It's probably not going to affect things very much. I really don't think it will.

56:15 Adam Jessica, Jessica, how's this new guy? I don't trust him.

56:19 Caller He's nice. He's in college and stuff right now.

56:21 Drew And where's his trailer?

56:23 Caller He doesn't have a trailer.

56:24 Drew Oh, all right.

56:25 Adam So he's homeless.

56:26 Caller No, he's renting a house.

56:28 Adam He's renting a house.

56:29 Drew Where is he going? Junior college?

56:31 Adam It's got to be junior college.

56:32 Caller No, it's the university in Idaho.

56:35 Adam Wow.

56:36 Drew Do you go there too?

56:37 Caller No, I dropped out of school when I was 16.

56:40 Adam Smart. And he's a student and you guys are going to get married?

56:45 Yeah.

56:47 Adam What's he studying in college?

56:50 Caller I don't know.

56:51 Adam Okay.

56:52 Drew Very, very close. Very close.

56:54 Adam You guys are thick as thieves.

56:55 Adam Scott Well, they need something to talk about when they get married.

56:58 Adam All right. This will be it.

56:59 Adam Scott Congratulations, sweetie.

57:00 Caller Thanks. He does many different classes and stuff.

57:02 Drew Oh, Adam had to get that down. Many different classes.

57:05 Caller He doesn't know what he wants to major in yet.

57:07 Adam All right. He doesn't have a major.

57:08 Caller He's only been there a year and he's not sure what his major is going to be yet.

57:12 Adam Okay. All right. Well, I was going to say Mazel Tov, but again, you remind me you're not a Jew. I can't. I'm still reeling.

57:19 Drew Arigato.

57:20 Adam Jessica, have fun with the kid. No more. Give it a few years. Let him finish college.

57:26 Drew Please.

57:26 Adam Get a nice degree and a nice job. And I hope you can put this whole episode behind you. Thank you.

57:33 Drew Good times.

57:34 Adam And good times, of course.

57:35 Adam Scott I am happy that now Jessica is with someone who's not going to hit her with a car, though. That's an instant improvement.

57:42 Adam It's definitely a step up. Here's my worry. If this guy's a nice guy, she might get tired of him.

57:48 Drew Oh, for sure. That's what I was thinking.

57:50 Adam You were, huh?

57:51 Drew Yeah, yeah. She'll do something to this guy. But that's not jinxing.

57:53 Adam All right. That's not jinxing. I think we just jinxed it.

57:56 Drew And maybe sometimes, you know, sometimes they get so radically abused, they contain it, you know, they kind of, and then have enough stability that they start to actually improve their attachments and things.

58:04 Adam Okay.

58:05 Caller All right.

58:07 Adam Is this Elle or Ellie? Elle.

58:10 Caller Hi. How are you?

58:11 Adam Hey, what's happening? Hi.

58:13 Caller Hi. So I have a question. I've been with my boyfriend for three years now. And I just worry that we're kind of moving in different directions. When we met, I was actually in junior college. Yeah. And I am graduating Berkeley now. Honors, going on to graduate school.

58:33 Drew Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Where this is going is she was one of the rare escapees.

58:38 Adam You made it out of junior college.

58:40 Drew No way. No. Hang on. Hang on.

58:41 Adam No way.

58:41 Drew Two of them. Elle. Elle. Elle. Hold on a second. No way. Two of them are making it out. You see what I'm saying? So she got out and he's staying. He's kept his little place.

58:49 Adam Where's he at? Where's your boyfriend at?

58:51 Caller He's back home in Los Angeles.

58:53 Drew Oh, shocking.

58:54 Adam Junior college?

58:55 Caller No.

58:56 Adam Where's he going?

58:58 Caller He doesn't go to college.

59:00 Adam But if he was, he would go to junior college.

59:04 Drew You met in junior college?

59:06 Caller No.

59:07 Adam Where'd you meet?

59:09 Adam Scott I'm so confused.

59:10 Drew Didn't she say we met in junior college?

59:12 Adam Scott I don't know.

59:12 Adam I don't think so. Where did you meet?

59:14 Caller We met when I was in junior college. Sorry.

59:17 Adam All right. And he does, he's how old?

59:20 Caller He's 26 and I'm 25.

59:22 Adam And he does what out in Los Angeles?

59:26 Caller You know, like bartending and waiting for people.

59:29 Adam He wants to be an actor or something?

59:30 Caller No, he doesn't want to be an actor.

59:32 Adam He just wants to bartend?

59:33 Drew Yeah, I'll go on to graduate school. You're going to forget about this one.

59:36 Adam He's just bartending?

59:38 Caller Yeah.

59:39 Adam Well, does he want to do anything other than bartend?

59:42 Caller Yeah, he's definitely got interest. But at this point, I don't think he's really sure exactly what they are.

59:48 Drew Here's the deal. If you smoke a ton of weed, it's hard to get out of the-

59:51 Caller Yeah. That's my biggest thing.

59:53 Caller I'm not concerned about what he's going to do, per se, because I'm not really obsessed with that. My biggest thing is just weed. That is something I absolutely will not have in my life.

1:00:04 Drew Well, if he's- Oh, your dad must have done that, too.

1:00:06 Adam Alcoholic or pot smoker?

1:00:08 Drew Yeah.

1:00:08 Caller No.

1:00:09 Drew Mom?

1:00:10 Adam What's up?

1:00:11 Caller I just don't agree with it. I don't know. I'm just-

1:00:14 Adam Uptight?

1:00:15 Caller No, no. I just-

1:00:17 Adam Not a sensual woman. A sensual woman would not be uptight about her.

1:00:22 Drew One thing about marijuana addiction is that it tends to take the wind out of one's ability to initiate action.

1:00:27 Caller Exactly.

1:00:28 Drew And it's a very difficult drug to treat. It's profoundly addictive for some people.

1:00:32 Adam But Drew, it's emotionally addictive, not physically. It's psychologically addictive.

1:00:38 Caller That's my question.

1:00:39 Drew It's physically profoundly addictive, and what you can say to him, you might be doing him a great service by saying, I can't see you doing this. I can see you changing. I can't go on. If the drug is going to be in your life, you've got to get treatment.

1:00:52 Caller They quit.

1:00:54 Drew No, no, he won't stay quit.

1:00:55 Adam You're in Berkeley. He's in LA. You're smart. He's stupid. Move on.

1:01:00 Adam Scott How long have you guys been together?

1:01:02 Caller Almost three years.

1:01:03 Adam Scott Well, that's a significant amount of time for a 25-year-old.

1:01:07 Drew You better throw bad years after good.

1:01:08 Adam They could have broke up eight months ago, though.

1:01:11 Caller Right?

1:01:14 Caller I'm not sure what you mean by that.

1:01:15 Drew If you'd been living together, if you'd been in the same vicinity continuously, you probably would have broken up a long ago.

1:01:21 Caller I don't know.

1:01:22 Drew Distance keeps the love alive, keeps the heart fond.

1:01:25 Caller Yeah.

1:01:26 Adam Absence, actually.

1:01:28 Caller But I understand what you're saying.

1:01:29 Adam Scott The heart grow fond with distance. Yeah.

1:01:32 Adam Well, let me tell you something. A new broom sweeps clean, so get yourself a new guy.

1:01:37 Drew Your turn.

1:01:37 Adam And he'll go down on you like nobody's business.

1:01:39 Adam Scott There's a lot of really hot hippies in Berkeley.

1:01:41 Drew Oh, God. No, there isn't. They'll realize that marijuana, for some people, is profoundly addictive. They will maintain their relation with pot in deference to everything else. They will lose lots of things. Takes a lot of motivation before they're willing to get treatment for it. And it is a very difficult addiction to treat. I treat it all the time.

1:01:58 Adam Scott They will lose their keys. Absolutely.

1:02:02 Drew That's the number one complaint of my marijuana addiction patients, which is I can't find my car keys and I can't complete my resume. Those are the number one, number two complaints.

1:02:11 Adam Scott Can't complete my resume.

1:02:12 Drew I never get it done.

1:02:13 Adam Scott I can't get to Kinko's.

1:02:16 Drew I'm always going to get a job. I've got great ideas. I want to do this. Never complete my resume.

1:02:20 Adam Here's the thing I've found with my buddies who smoke copious amounts of weed. They don't really look at it as getting high. They look at it as sort of regulating.

1:02:31 Drew Maintenance. Yeah.

1:02:32 Adam Sure. They don't call it maintenance, but they say like, no, no, this is how. This is sort of crazy society we live in, and this is how I'm able to cope. I mean, you don't see me freaking out. You don't see me yelling at anybody. You don't see me throwing tantrums. This is the way I regulate, and they're sort of, in a way, well, in a weird way, it's sort of hard to argue with it because I'm having 14 tantrums a day and they never are.

1:02:58 Drew Here's the deal. It is addictive, therefore there will be consequence and there will be losses as a result of it. If you're having trouble regulating, you need a diagnosis and a treatment. It'd be like a doctor taking medication on his own because he or she felt kind of weird and wanted to regulate, so pop some medication.

1:03:14 Adam No, I think they think of it like yoga.

1:03:17 Drew I understand, but it isn't. It's an addiction, it's progressive, it's a chemical, you're using it to regulate, which is exactly what they're doing, but it's not a therapeutic regulation that has consequence.

1:03:27 Adam But what about sort of a maybe?

1:03:29 Adam Scott As opposed to...

1:03:29 Adam Not totally.

1:03:30 Adam Scott For regulation, what if it's for recreation? What if it's like every few months, every few weeks, something like that?

1:03:37 Drew That's not an addiction.

1:03:37 Adam Let's say you did a big movie with J.Lo, and it was time to literally blow off a little steam, you know what I'm saying?

1:03:45 Drew Yeah, if he didn't, he would literally jump out of his skin.

1:03:47 Adam Scott Literally.

1:03:47 Drew Too uptight.

1:03:48 Adam Literally.

1:03:49 Adam Scott And then literally jump back into my skin and come do Love Line.

1:03:52 Adam That's right, and at the end of the day, well, everything happens for a reason.

1:03:56 Adam Scott It's true.

1:03:57 Adam Tim?

1:03:58 Adam Scott Heard that.

1:03:59 Adam Hey, how are you guys doing?

1:04:01 Caller Yep.

1:04:02 Adam Oh, here's the other one, it's gone, but I'm glad. What up?

1:04:06 Caller Nothing, really. I need to know, when I was about a year ago, I had sex with a girl and I got an STD.

1:04:16 Drew What did you get?

1:04:17 Caller I got chlamydia.

1:04:18 Drew Okay.

1:04:19 Caller And, well, what happened is, now I need to know how to ask a girl if she has an STD without ruining the mood or really kicking her off.

1:04:30 Drew Okay. Mason jar? I mean, it had a-

1:04:33 Adam Scott What about a condom?

1:04:34 Adam In the- it sounds bogus.

1:04:36 Drew In the beginning.

1:04:37 Adam Yeah, but some people have a bogus cadence.

1:04:40 Drew Is it just he's so constricted and affected?

1:04:44 Adam Yeah. It's hard to tell. There's some guys, Adam Scott is a great thespian, would not know this.

1:04:50 Drew Right, so he never knows, acting out.

1:04:51 Adam There's some people that everything that comes out of their mouth seems like a lie.

1:04:55 Adam Scott Right.

1:04:55 Adam I always feel sorry for these guys when they get pulled over.

1:04:58 Adam Scott But it's such a mundane lie if you actually lie.

1:05:02 Adam Yeah, I know.

1:05:03 Adam Scott It's not very clever.

1:05:04 Adam It's a weak-ass bogus call.

1:05:06 Drew All right, here we go. Let's answer it. How do you ask a girlfriend, first of all, you wear condoms.

1:05:09 Adam Scott Yeah.

1:05:10 Drew All the time. Why? Secondly...

1:05:13 Caller I even wore a condom, but the doctor said when I was messing around with, well, her private parts and stuff, me putting on the...

1:05:21 Drew No, no, it's just bogus.

1:05:23 Caller It's gotta be...

1:05:24 Adam I can't help it though.

1:05:25 Adam Scott Private parts.

1:05:26 Adam The other sand, it's like when it's a painful tooth, I can't stop flicking with my tongue.

1:05:31 Adam Scott Didn't private parts go with sensual in the late 70s?

1:05:34 Adam Tim?

1:05:36 Drew Yeah.

1:05:36 Adam Please tell us you're making this up.

1:05:38 Caller No, actually I'm not.

1:05:40 Drew And remember the International Convention.

1:05:42 Caller Well, seriously, I just don't wanna piss this girl off and stuff. I mean, there was this girl and stuff, and I didn't wanna piss her off, and I ended up not even having sex with her because it's just the fact that, I mean, I'm embarrassed about the fact that I got an STD because it was my first time having sex when I did get the STD.

1:06:01 Adam Let me ask some probing questions.

1:06:03 Drew You didn't have an STD?

1:06:04 Adam What room are you in?

1:06:05 Caller No, I didn't. What?

1:06:06 Adam What room are you in?

1:06:07 Caller I'm in my bedroom.

1:06:09 Adam Why is it sound like you?

1:06:10 Caller In my apartment.

1:06:11 Adam Are you on a speaker phone?

1:06:13 Caller No, I'm on my cell phone.

1:06:15 Adam Scott Is your bedroom inside of a large tunnel?

1:06:19 Caller No, I have an unusually deep and loud voice. That's why it sounds so weird.

1:06:23 Adam I like that. And I believe him now. I now believe him.

1:06:29 Drew Here's the deal. This is a guy with OCD. He freaked out the first time he had sex. I doubt that he even had an STD the first go around. He may have had just urethritis or something. Did he actually do a chlamydia screen on you?

1:06:42 Caller I actually got tested and stuff and it actually said I had an STD. They say it could have been that or the condom broke. One of those things.

1:06:51 Adam All right.

1:06:52 Drew Well, the condom break makes some sense, but...

1:06:54 Caller Yeah.

1:06:55 Drew Well, use a condom properly. Don't break it.

1:06:57 Adam Tim, what's going on? Are you going to college?

1:07:00 Caller Well, I'm thinking about it. I don't know.

1:07:01 Adam You're living on your own, though?

1:07:03 Caller Yes, I am. I'm living in an apartment with my twin brother.

1:07:07 Adam Weird. And is that weird? Is that weird?

1:07:10 Caller Actually, no. Surprisingly, we don't fight as often because we have different work schedules, so we never see each other.

1:07:17 Adam Do you guys look alike?

1:07:18 Caller No, we look nothing alike. I got the Polish side. He got the Irish side.

1:07:23 Adam All right.

1:07:24 Drew Brother's an alcoholic.

1:07:25 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:07:26 Caller Well, no. Dad was.

1:07:28 Drew Well, there you go.

1:07:29 Adam And do you guys is... So you guys are cool. Do you dress alike, though, just for fun?

1:07:35 Caller No, no, no.

1:07:36 Adam Scott You should.

1:07:37 Adam Hey, do people do... People don't dress their twins alike anymore, really, do they?

1:07:41 Caller No, no, no, no, no, no.

1:07:42 Adam That somebody decided.

1:07:44 Drew That's bad times.

1:07:46 Adam It took 700 years to figure out that that wasn't a great gig for a kid to be dressed. Actually, I have this doppelganger next to him in the same Dutch boy outfit at age 14.

1:07:57 Adam Scott Maybe the shining put an end to that.

1:08:00 Adam I know. It's like, yeah, the two girls. Oh, no, don't bring up the shit.

1:08:03 Drew I saw it.

1:08:03 Adam Oh, Drew saw it. Drew, what year did you see The Shining in?

1:08:06 Drew Two years ago.

1:08:06 Adam Scott Oh my God.

1:08:08 Adam Scary smooth we ever met.

1:08:09 Adam Scott Was it because it was freaking you out and you didn't want to?

1:08:11 Adam No, because he was pouting at me.

1:08:12 Drew Because I kept yelling at him.

1:08:14 Adam Because I would make those kinds of references and I would look at Drew and it was the usual Etch A Sketch, it was still in the box.

1:08:22 Adam Scott That's true.

1:08:23 Adam Drew's normal look is Etch A Sketch at the store. Either nothing or something some media had been fiddling with but couldn't get to the controls.

1:08:30 Caller Right, right.

1:08:32 Drew Random.

1:08:32 Adam It's just sort of random stuff. Someone peeled part of the cardboard box back and fiddled with it. All right, scary movie.

1:08:42 Adam Scott Very scary.

1:08:42 Adam Listen, all you kids, you gotta see The Shining. Slow burn too, baby. First hour, just weird, but nothing.

1:08:51 Adam Scott That's a great, actually for all the teenagers listening, all the teenage boys, rent that and have the girl over. Yeah. I mean, that's a good, scary movie for high school.

1:09:01 Adam And here's the thing too, let me say something else to you kids. You're into immediate gratification. We just are. It's like you want it now. You watch a movie, you watch a horror movie, they have a horror scene at the very beginning of the movie. Now, most of these slasher teen movies start with a scene where the person's being stabbed in a shower and then go to the campus and then it gets scary again. You know what I mean? You don't realize it, but you're your own worst enemy in this thing by demanding so much action so early. This movie has a good, slow burn and it forces you to sort of get sucked into it. And then you're woven into the fabric of it and then they get you. Yeah, I literally jumped out of my skin. I'm literally, literally, literally out of my skin. Adam Scott is here tonight. We will, he's got a movie that's, it's quite frankly, it's not The Shining. It's a comedy.

1:09:56 Adam Scott It's not, but you know, everything happens for a reason.

1:09:58 Adam It absolutely does. He literally jumped out of his skin when he saw his paycheck.

1:10:04 Drew You will literally laugh your ass off.

1:10:06 Adam Literally, your ass will be left, a bloody stump of your ass is all you will leave. Because you will literally laugh your ass off. In Monster and Law, everyone come to theaters this Friday. We'll take a quick break. Be right back after this. Hello, what is it?

1:10:22 Drew This is Loveline.

1:10:41 Adam Hey, everybody.

1:10:41 Caller It's the Loveline.

1:10:43 Adam I'm Adam. That's Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Adam Scott is here tonight. Adam Scott is here from the new movie Monster in Law, which you've seen. Well, if you're live and you're in this country, you've seen a billboard for in the last 12 seconds. But be careful, because you would literally laugh your ass off. And that's where it will be left.

1:11:05 Adam Scott But if you go to the movie, you'll know that everything happens for a reason. You're supposed to be there.

1:11:09 Adam That's true. It does.

1:11:11 Adam Scott You will literally laugh your ass off.

1:11:14 Adam Adam is also going to be coming up in the Matador, new movie with Pierce Brosnan. Really, I'll tell you, you're a couple of projects away from not coming back on this show, Adam. I gotta be honest with you. We're really going well for you.

1:11:28 Adam Scott Never.

1:11:29 Adam Really?

1:11:29 Adam Scott Never.

1:11:30 Adam That's what I love. That's what Joey Slotnick said in Where's He Now.

1:11:35 Adam Scott Joey Slotnick?

1:11:36 Adam We're not having him on. That's right. That's the other way. That's different. That's how it works for us.

1:11:40 Drew Right.

1:11:41 Adam All right. Good. Really?

1:11:42 Adam Scott Did that really happen?

1:11:43 Adam No. I decided to bring his name up. What name is that?

1:11:48 Drew Sania.

1:11:48 Adam Sania?

1:11:50 Caller Sonia.

1:11:51 Drew Sonia.

1:11:52 Adam Sonia?

1:11:52 Drew Sonia.

1:11:53 Caller Sonia, Sonia, whatever.

1:11:55 Adam How do you spell your name?

1:11:56 Caller S-O-N-J-A.

1:11:58 Adam It's misspelled. That's it.

1:11:59 Caller All right.

1:12:00 Adam What's up?

1:12:00 Caller It is misspelled.

1:12:01 Adam Okay.

1:12:02 Caller Go ahead.

1:12:03 Caller Well, I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half. And like halfway through our relationship about six months ago, he brought in to our relationship that he enjoyed anal sex, both giving it and receiving it.

1:12:18 Adam Scott Whoa.

1:12:19 Caller Yeah.

1:12:20 Adam Scott Receiving is a different.

1:12:22 Adam Yeah.

1:12:23 Caller And I'm really open about trying new things. You know, I've always been taught and I've always thought that you should never say you don't like something unless you try it.

1:12:36 Adam When your grandfather gave you that speech, he meant toward other cultures.

1:12:40 Drew He was talking about.

1:12:40 Adam Not fudge-packing.

1:12:41 Drew He was talking about tortellini. Lasagna.

1:12:45 Adam He wanted you to try Thai food. Not put nut on the strap on and bang the bejesus out of your bi boyfriend.

1:12:52 Caller Right. And I understand that.

1:12:53 Adam Scott Or maybe that is exactly what he meant.

1:12:56 Adam He was introducing you to his new Asian lady friend. Right. And didn't want you to freak out. Grandma had been six years in the ground and it was time to move on. He wants to think about you putting the strap on. I hope I get to that point in my life where I'm introducing someone to my lady friend. Because that means you. That means your later friend as my lady friend literally means you've arrived. It means I'm driving it. And first off, you got to have a nice ride. You don't get to have a lady friend. Nobody drives a rusted out Subaru station wagon as a lady friend.

1:13:24 Drew If you ever say you have a lady friend, I will I will put the bullet in you.

1:13:28 Adam Drew, you'll be too old to do anything about it.

1:13:30 Drew I'll have somebody else do it.

1:13:31 Adam Because I'll be at least in my late sixties, except for my hair will be in its early thirties. And I'll have my lady friend. I want to introduce you to my lady friend.

1:13:41 Adam Scott Drive a big Eldorado.

1:13:43 Adam And I'll be cruising. And I don't mean cruise in Boulevard on a ship nine months out of the year. Sonia?

1:13:50 Adam Scott Yeah. Yeah.

1:13:52 Drew So anyway.

1:13:52 Adam Scott Yeah.

1:13:53 Adam What were we talking about?

1:13:54 Drew The anal sex.

1:13:55 Adam Oh, yeah. So how do you feel about now? Does he want you to put on a strap on?

1:14:01 Caller He doesn't.

1:14:02 Caller He didn't really say he would. I'm sure he would enjoy it. And I didn't mind it at first. And it was something new and, you know, different. And now hold on.

1:14:11 Adam What was new and different?

1:14:13 Caller The whole anal sex for me.

1:14:15 Adam Yeah, I'm here. But him doing it to you.

1:14:19 Caller Right.

1:14:19 Adam But you've never done anything to him.

1:14:22 Drew All right. OK.

1:14:23 Caller And what's the question?

1:14:25 Caller But now it's like weirding me out. And I don't know how to bring up the fact that it does weird me out and I don't enjoy it anymore because he knows I enjoyed it. And it was for about a period of four months that I enjoyed it. And then it just thought to the point of where I didn't enjoy it anymore.

1:14:41 Adam Scott You know, you should tell him. You should tell him it weirds you out and you don't enjoy it anymore.

1:14:46 Adam Yeah. Tell him the honeymoon between his dork and your third eye is over.

1:14:55 Drew Why did you suddenly switch off to it?

1:14:57 Caller I don't know.

1:14:58 Drew You don't know?

1:14:59 Caller I have no idea. It was like one night I was enjoying it and the next night it was like I didn't even... Yeah.

1:15:07 Drew Do you think it's his weird preoccupation with it?

1:15:08 Adam It was that way with me and Ravi Olio's by the way.

1:15:10 Drew Yeah.

1:15:11 Adam Same thing.

1:15:12 Drew Do you think it's his weird preoccupation with it?

1:15:15 Caller I don't know. It might be because he enjoys it so much that it was like weirding me out that he enjoys it so much.

1:15:20 Adam You're freaked out.

1:15:21 Drew When guys get into fetishes.

1:15:23 Adam And this guy's weird too. Yeah.

1:15:24 Drew When people get into fetishes, usually a healthy partner will start to read. Well, he is weird.

1:15:26 Caller He's a professional body piercer.

1:15:31 Adam Scott So it couldn't have surprised you with the whole anal thing.

1:15:35 Adam Speaking of anal, is that your kid that you're beating up?

1:15:40 Caller No. I'm packing a pack of cigarettes.

1:15:42 Drew Oh, why do we hear a shh?

1:15:43 Adam What's that weird crying?

1:15:45 Caller It was my daughter yawning in the back asleep.

1:15:50 Adam Okay, so it wasn't your kid then?

1:15:52 Caller No, because I'm driving and I pulled over to the side of the road, so the car stopped moving, so she's starting to wake up.

1:15:57 Drew Yeah, we asked if that was a child.

1:15:58 Adam Yeah, you said no.

1:16:00 Caller I said I wasn't beating on my child. I didn't deny there was a child in the car.

1:16:03 Adam All right. Now, you're quickly going... You're turning into a mess.

1:16:07 Drew Yeah.

1:16:08 Adam Here's the deal with the kid. Ash out of the sunroof. Otherwise, you'll burn a retina when you're just tipping it out the window.

1:16:15 Drew Yeah, Sonja's got some pierces all over the place, too.

1:16:18 Adam What's going on with you, Sonja? You screw it up?

1:16:22 Drew Somebody beat on Sonja.

1:16:23 Somebody beat on you?

1:16:25 Adam No. No? No? No? Nobody? Where's your dad?

1:16:32 Caller He lives a couple hours away from me.

1:16:35 Adam When did he leave the house?

1:16:39 Caller When I was 18 months old.

1:16:40 Adam 18 months?

1:16:42 Caller Why did he leave?

1:16:44 Caller Him and my mom didn't get along anymore.

1:16:47 Drew Was there violence in the home?

1:16:49 Adam Any violence?

1:16:50 Caller Not that I'm aware of, no.

1:16:53 Adam But at 18 months, what do you know? Have you seen him? You kept in contact with him?

1:16:57 Caller Yeah, I actually have a really good relationship with him.

1:17:00 Adam All right, and this guy, the fudge packer, is the father of your child or that's another guy?

1:17:07 Caller No, he is the father of my child.

1:17:09 Adam He is?

1:17:09 Drew The fudge packer?

1:17:10 Caller Yeah.

1:17:10 Adam The bi-piercing nut job? All right. Well, hold on. Asian? No, Jew. I can't decide. What is it? Asian or Jewish? Mexican. All right. See, Drew, I'm always wrong. No, no, no inside at all. All right. Listen, no more kids, right?

1:17:30 Caller Okay.

1:17:31 Adam Can you do that?

1:17:32 Caller I'm good with no more kids.

1:17:33 Adam All right. But you have to actually not just wish it away. You have to take birth control and stuff, right?

1:17:39 Caller I bought birth control. I'm on depot.

1:17:41 Adam Good girl. Good girl. Okay. You need to say to this guy now, I was going to tell you to dump the guy. Now that he's the father of your child, you need to say to him, look, I'm not into this anymore. Let's turn the page and move forward. And if he can't do that, you're going to have to really talk to him. Yeah.

1:18:04 Adam Scott I mean, it sounds like she gave him a good couple of months of anal.

1:18:08 Adam Look, the average guy gets three, three and a half weeks of anal before that party.

1:18:12 Adam Scott Three, three and a half tries.

1:18:14 Adam Three, three and a half tries. And then the anal tent packs up and goes to a new town.

1:18:18 Adam Scott Leaves town.

1:18:19 Adam Leaves town. Literally jumped out of his anus.

1:18:22 Adam Scott All right.

1:18:23 Adam Let's keep talking to Jennifer. She's 23. Jennifer?

1:18:27 Caller Hi.

1:18:28 Adam What's up?

1:18:29 Caller Hey, I have a question. I was listening to the guy talking about, you guys are talking about weed and how it affects you. Well, I have trouble remembering things and I get angry a lot. Is that because of the drugs or it could be coming out?

1:18:46 Drew Here's the memory problems and depression. A combination of memory problems and depression and anxiety is typically ecstasy and crystal, crystal meth. So if you did a bunch of amphetamine and a bunch of ecstasy.

1:18:59 Adam It's not marijuana?

1:19:00 Drew It actually causes a, no, not pot, it causes a brain damage. Now, some of the-

1:19:04 Adam Hold on, Adam will see in the parking lot after the show.

1:19:07 Adam Scott No, totally.

1:19:07 Drew The only possibility, the only reversible possibility is if you are not satisfactorily engaged in a program of recovery and you're getting depressed, that can make you seem forgetful and obviously irritable too. So you may want to get actively involved in recovery and that might help some of these symptoms. And with time, some of them get better, but typically the depression and the memory problems from amphetamphetamine and the sort of paranoia are permanent.

1:19:31 Adam Scott Does it say she's doing meth?

1:19:33 Drew What are you doing?

1:19:34 Caller Nothing now. I did this when I was 18, 19, and I'm 23 now.

1:19:38 Drew What drugs?

1:19:40 Caller I did weed, crystal, I did meth, I did ecstasy, acid.

1:19:46 Drew So there you go.

1:19:47 Caller I did everything.

1:19:49 Adam Well, let's save some time and tell us what you didn't do. Be faster. Alright, baby doll. But you've cleaned up your act?

1:19:57 Caller Yeah, I'm not doing anything anymore. I'm just wondering, like, should I go talk to you? I don't want to get on medication. I don't want to do that. I was on it once and then I stopped it.

1:20:07 Adam Why were you on it? For this reason?

1:20:10 Caller For depression. And I just felt so, like, zoned out. I couldn't function.

1:20:17 Drew Well, you certainly should find something that you're not aware you're taking, but you have injured your brain. Literally what-

1:20:23 Adam How much of it did she do?

1:20:24 Drew She's having the symptoms of it. Some people, they don't have to do that much. But what happens is that with the ecstasy and the amphetamine is the vesicles that package the neurochemicals, the norepinephrine and the serotonin. I just keep hearing lightweight. They actively push out the chemical into the synaptic space and then they don't reform normally and so the chemical, the neurochemical gets free in the cytoplasm of the cell and goes back and becomes a free radical and destroys the cell.

1:20:49 Adam Scott Does it have anything to do with her being so young when she was doing it?

1:20:54 Drew No, it's just a free radical formation. It just destroys the cells and once they're out there, once the brain damage occurs, that's it.

1:21:01 Adam Jennifer?

1:21:02 Drew Yes.

1:21:03 Adam How much of this did you do? And what's the worst, Drew? Ecstasy?

1:21:06 Drew Ecstasy, yeah.

1:21:08 Adam Scott Really worse than crystal meth?

1:21:09 Adam Yeah.

1:21:10 Caller Yeah, I was doing more meth than anything, like crank. I was doing more crank and then I started doing ecstasy, which I didn't really do much of it, but I did, you know.

1:21:20 Drew More than 20 hits, you're in trouble.

1:21:21 Adam How'd the LSD?

1:21:22 Caller No, I did more than 20. I probably about...

1:21:24 Adam That's what I'm talking about. Now what about the LSD? That's a good one.

1:21:27 Drew LSD creates memory and mood problems and personality change is not so much memory problems. The memory and mood is a meth ecstasy thing.

1:21:36 Adam Oh, meth is a memory thing. Yeah. And I said that 28 seconds ago, but I don't recall. And even if I, I mean you, I mean one smokes it?

1:21:45 Drew Literally.

1:21:46 Adam Literally smoking it? Literally. I'll tell you, I've tried meth before. It's, I've probably done meth a couple of times in my day and back in my youth, you know, I didn't understand it. I just did it because I don't know what the hell, why not? I live in North Hollywood. If someone's got meth, let's do some. You stay up, you can't go to bed, you're miserable the following day, and you don't feel high as much as you feel just sort of altered. I know some people dig it. To me, I love napping so much. You know, I'm a Corolla. We're descendant, descended from tree sloths, by the way. If you look at my family's tree, they're actually sloths sleeping in the tree, they're actually in the tree sleeping. Sleep is so precious to me that actually this drug, this magical drug that lets you not sleep. Evil. Yeah, what else? What other side effects? Oh, can't beat off? Fantastic. Where do I get it? You know what I mean?

1:22:48 Drew Can't beat off, can't sleep.

1:22:49 Adam Scott You're too fat.

1:22:49 Adam What else? I'll throw up if I eat pizza. What else?

1:22:52 Adam Scott Isn't it like a real emotional come down, like cry when you see a tree kind of thing?

1:22:57 Drew When you come off it?

1:22:57 Adam Scott Yeah.

1:22:58 Adam It's a bummer. It's just you feel like, well, here's the deal. Stay up for 48 hours and tell me how you feel when you're done. You know, I don't know if it's that or you just haven't slept in two days. You feel like hell, obviously. Your head's pounding. To me, I understand margaritas. I understand a bone load. I understand mushrooms. I understand getting high. I understand getting effed up. And by the way, I understand Coke.

1:23:24 Drew You don't or do you?

1:23:25 Adam Oh, no, I do. Oh, good Coke.

1:23:27 Drew Oh, Adam.

1:23:28 Adam Good Coke. Not speedy Coke. Good Coke. Yeah.

1:23:32 Adam Scott Little booger sugar.

1:23:34 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:23:35 Adam Scott Nose candy.

1:23:36 Adam No, you feel good. You do some good Coke and you're like, oh, yeah, I see what people are talking about now. I know now.

1:23:41 Adam Scott I feel like a million bucks.

1:23:42 Adam What Don Johnson was trying to do over there. I see this is good. But speed, didn't understand it. Don't understand it. Can't understand it. Won't understand it. Literally, literally jumped out of my skin when I was high on speed. Oh, literally.

1:23:56 Adam Scott I'm glad you stopped, though. I mean, everything happens for a reason. You stopped.

1:23:59 Adam Thank you. Thank you. It's true. It's true. Monster in Law, name of Adam Scott's new movie coming out in 3000 screens, coming up, maybe 3500. How many screens? And don't tell me you don't know.

1:24:14 Adam Scott I think it's I think it's 3100 screens.

1:24:16 Adam 3100 screens.

1:24:17 Adam Scott That's a lot of screens.

1:24:19 Adam That is, you know how many more screens that is than our movies, Drew?

1:24:23 Drew Your movies?

1:24:24 Adam Yeah.

1:24:25 Drew Your movie being?

1:24:26 Adam I don't have movies. It's 3100 more.

1:24:28 Drew Oh, I see.

1:24:29 Adam Yeah. Drew was in a major movie.

1:24:31 Adam Scott Oh, I know.

1:24:31 Drew 3500 screens.

1:24:33 Adam Scott New York Minute.

1:24:33 Adam 3500 screens. New York Minute.

1:24:36 Adam Scott I'm sure.

1:24:36 Drew And that many viewers.

1:24:37 Adam You know how long it was on those 3500 screens?

1:24:41 Adam Scott My wife went and saw that opening weekend. She did. She did.

1:24:46 Adam I'm only laughing because I know your wife. It'll be fun when I make fun of her next time I see her.

1:24:50 Adam Scott Please do.

1:24:50 Adam What's she thinking?

1:24:51 Adam Scott She did. She went to the Grove and saw that.

1:24:53 Adam Hi. She literally jumped out of her skin. All right. Well, where were you, by the way? She just, I wish my wife would just go to crappy movies without me.

1:25:03 Adam Scott I was probably seeing something more, more stupid.

1:25:06 Adam You guys went to a-

1:25:07 Adam Scott No, no, no, no. I wasn't there with her, but I know she went and did it. I was busy. I probably would have gone if-

1:25:13 Adam I will confront her.

1:25:14 Adam Scott But you know what? I didn't get to the film, but everything happens for a reason. I think I will probably see it on cable.

1:25:20 Adam You definitely will see it on cable.

1:25:21 Adam Scott I will literally see it on cable.

1:25:22 Adam You can't not literally see it on cable.

1:25:25 Drew We will- You'll literally laugh and cry.

1:25:26 Adam You'll literally laugh and cry in plots. We will take ourselves a quick break. We'll be right back, literally, after this.

1:25:33 Caller Hello, this is your radio. Loveline will be right back.

1:26:01 Adam Yeah. Hey, everybody. Ace. I'm a sensual man, and I'm a Gemini. That's Dr. Drew. You know what I love about guys? Worked with Drew for 10 years, have no idea what a sign is. Zero.

1:26:20 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:26:21 Adam Drew barely knows what it is.

1:26:22 Drew Yeah, I don't know what yours is.

1:26:24 Adam You don't know what yours is?

1:26:25 Drew Literally.

1:26:26 Adam He literally doesn't know what it is.

1:26:27 Drew You know what it is. I don't mind it.

1:26:30 Adam What is yours, Drew?

1:26:31 Drew Virgo.

1:26:32 Adam Virgo. That means you're what?

1:26:34 Drew Whatever.

1:26:35 Adam All right.

1:26:35 Drew I don't know.

1:26:36 Adam He doesn't know. But it means you're tenacious and try to perform oral on yourself. I like one really good one and one really embarrassing one. It is the same quality if you think about it. It's actually the actual, yeah, it's the definition of tenacious. Yes, it really is. And Adam Scott is here tonight. He's a?

1:26:58 Adam Scott Aries.

1:26:59 Adam Aries. I knew it. And what do you, what's that mean?

1:27:02 Adam Scott You know, they're all the same. It's just they got a thesaurus and found different words to describe these general things. So everyone's is the same, right? Ambitious, playful, whatever it is. Right.

1:27:13 Adam Yeah, but watch out this kiddy has claws.

1:27:15 Caller Right.

1:27:16 Adam Yeah, it's like, yeah, I always love that. And that's why chicks fall prey to the soothsayers and the guys don't, because it's always, you're a good person. And look, if you're in a good, if you're, you can be someone's best friend or their worst enemy.

1:27:30 Caller Right.

1:27:31 Adam Yeah. Yeah. And the thing about you, everyone's like, oh, that's me.

1:27:34 Caller You're great.

1:27:35 Adam You're great. You're a great parent, you're a great spouse, you're a great coworker, but back you into a corner and watch out. Yeah. Or start trying to mess with your kids. Is there any way I want to see a guy goes and mess, mess with your kids and you turn a blind eye, you're indifferent. Right. Like that's the guy I want to pay money to because yeah. Oh, protective. By the way, you see this woman, she's 40. She's driving a Lexus. She's well to do. She has three kids. She's just shown you the pictures of them for the fourth time and you're going way out on a limb and say, if somebody tries to hurt her kid, she's going to be upset. Shocking. Yeah. Yeah. Tell you what else too. You try to stick to a dive once in a while. You cheat.

1:28:14 Adam Scott Right. Or work is really tough this week, but you're going to pull through.

1:28:18 Adam That's right. That's right. And then they just tell them all such a stuff they want to. You're really creative. You're really creative. The work you're doing now, though, doesn't fully exploit.

1:28:26 Adam Scott Right. Right.

1:28:27 Adam And you know what? There's, there's a side to you that you show the world, the side to you that people see. And then there's another side to you that you protect.

1:28:35 Adam Scott And they're like, oh yeah, the sand paintings I've been thinking about. Maybe I should really kick that into gear.

1:28:42 Adam And by the way, if they really did protect that second side of them, they wouldn't admit it to the, to the gypsy lady. They'd go, I don't know what you're talking about. What do you mean? What are you talking about? Who'd you hear that from? No way. The gypsy lady.

1:28:53 Adam Scott Where's the gypsy lady?

1:28:55 Drew I don't know.

1:28:55 Adam She went with the sensual woman. Gypsy ladies are sensual though. They do.

1:29:00 Adam Scott They have sensual massage oils.

1:29:01 Drew And with the witchy woman and all that stuff.

1:29:03 Caller That's true.

1:29:04 Clint?

1:29:05 Yeah.

1:29:06 Adam 22?

1:29:07 Yep.

1:29:09 Adam You know, it seems like there should be more guys named Clint. There just should be. Clint's a cool name.

1:29:14 Adam Scott It's a good name.

1:29:15 Adam Clint, by the way, Clint Eastwood was sort of canceled out by Clint Howard. So now it's even.

1:29:20 Adam Scott Right, right.

1:29:21 Adam Clint is now washed.

1:29:22 Adam Scott We can start over.

1:29:23 Adam The point is, is Clint is a cool name. Clint Eastwood has been on the scene for 50 years. Every other kid you got your kids in school with should be named Clint.

1:29:31 Drew You would think so.

1:29:32 Adam Where's the Clint's? Go ahead, Clint.

1:29:35 Mine's spelled with a K actually.

1:29:37 Drew Alright, what's up?

1:29:38 Adam How obnoxious.

1:29:39 I'm having trouble.

1:29:40 Adam Hold on. Is that short for something?

1:29:43 No, just this one.

1:29:45 Adam Kick your dad in the nuts for me next time.

1:29:47 Adam Scott Does that make it Russian if it's spelled with a K?

1:29:50 No, I don't think so. I'm actually Danish.

1:29:53 Adam Alright, just change it to C, but go ahead.

1:29:56 Alright, well I'm having trouble getting over my girlfriend's sexual past. She used to be a junkie. She's been clean for about a year and a half now. I mean, I've heard stories and everything from her being with two guys to having head sex for money to blah, blah. I mean, I've been around the block a few times. I've slept with 15 people. She's slept with a couple more than that. But these kind of stories, especially the people for money thing.

1:30:23 Drew She was a drug addict, Clint. Drug addicts do crazy things. Female drug addicts frequently end up exchanging money for sex.

1:30:33 Adam At least she was high. I mean, you had a sort of the only excuse you can really have for that.

1:30:39 Drew That can really significantly change and stay changed.

1:30:42 Adam Yeah. Hey, Clint, here's the thing. I'm putting them on hold because connection is bad. Here's the thing. When you're 22, these kinds of things are big issues and you have a lot of energy around them.

1:30:53 Drew I know a solution. Have a hymenoplasty. Put the hymen back and she'll be a virgin again.

1:30:57 Adam Oh, replace the hymen.

1:30:57 Drew There you go. It'll be perfect.

1:30:59 Adam Okay.

1:30:59 Drew Crazy.

1:31:00 Adam I put one in her mouth too, so I get a virgin with the B check.

1:31:02 Drew Sure, sure. And maybe one around the okay side of the finger.

1:31:05 Adam Well, that's true, but it's hard for her to work.

1:31:06 Drew All right, you're right on the web there.

1:31:08 Adam It does help in the pool. Tell you that, she's a kind of cool woman.

1:31:11 Drew Yeah, the guys have a lot of energy on this. Thank God she's in recovery. Hopefully she'll sustain it and that will be that.

1:31:15 Adam Scott Well, and it could be worse if she was having sex with people for money and she's only had sex with a couple more than he has.

1:31:23 Drew And no, that's baloney.

1:31:24 Adam Scott Yeah, she's got to add another couple of tricks.

1:31:27 Adam Look, here's the thing. Let's not freak Clint out. Here's the deal. It is a much nicer life if she's not acting out now, if she's clean and sober and doing her routine and sticking with her program. She's made a pretty big change in her life. You should applaud her for that and get over it and move forward.

1:31:47 Drew There you go.

1:31:47 Adam Okay. Now, now hold on, Drew. Let me say this. I don't know why, but I brought up Aquaman or Aquawoman. There should have been an Aquawoman.

1:31:55 Adam Scott There was no Aquawoman.

1:31:56 Adam We got stuck with that faggity guy in the Speedos the whole time and the blonde hair.

1:32:00 Drew It's a perfect opportunity for a bikini.

1:32:02 Adam Put a check in something and put her in the water.

1:32:04 Drew At least I got some sort of mermaid-like.

1:32:06 Adam Yeah, some dude talking to a whale. What the F?

1:32:11 Adam Scott I think he dated a starfish. A chocolate starfish.

1:32:16 Adam How gay were the guys who came up? You see with that weird bleach blonde hair and that weird package and weird outfit. The gill shirt. Super gill shirt, big old package stuffed into a Speedos, like some sort of European tourist.

1:32:30 Drew It worries me that you were looking at that so carefully.

1:32:32 Adam You can't miss it. I literally jumped out of my underpants. Literally. The point is, is let's have, we should have come up with Aquaman.

1:32:40 Drew Yeah.

1:32:41 Adam Had to clearly drop the ball on that one.

1:32:43 Adam Scott I'm sure Aquaman will find someone. I mean, everything happens for a reason.

1:32:47 Adam I want to see her. That's all. Adam's correct. We have to take a quick break. Monster in Law coming out this Friday. We'll be right back after this. Well, there you go, everybody. That's the show. Tomorrow night, the contender, we got the Sergio the Latin Snake, and I think, who else is coming on?

1:33:42 Drew John.

1:33:43 Adam Jonathan, Jonathan Reed, who's a KG veteran. I think he's one of the older guys who was eliminated earlier, but in the running, to come back and do the undercard, best show on TV. Best movie, not on TV, Monster in the Law.

1:33:57 Drew Starting Friday the 13th.

1:33:58 Adam That's right, this Friday, our good friend Adam Scott, God bless God. Literally.

1:34:02 Adam Scott Thank you.

1:34:03 Adam Literally run to the theater.

1:34:04 Adam Scott Literally run to this theater because it's. Yeah.

1:34:08 Adam It's standing room. Literally standing room only. We will take a little extendo break, some contender talk tomorrow night, and until then, this Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew is saying, Mahalo.

1:34:19 Adam Scott I'm no, I'm a single. I'm gay.

1:34:24 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005