Episode 1000710693478

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

1:01 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:04 Voiceover Sexually-oriented content.

1:07 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:08 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline.

1:17 Voiceover With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:20 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam.

1:23 Adam That's Dr. Drew.

1:24 Adam Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Dr. Drew is a board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Dr. Drew is not in studio tonight. Dr. Drew is in New York. Why, Engineer Chris?

1:42 Drew Yes?

1:43 Adam He's running back to us, Mike.

1:44 Drew Oh, that's good.

1:45 Guest Sorry, man.

1:48 Adam Engineer Chris is one of those guys where I think he's cursed.

1:55 Guest Yeah.

1:55 Adam Drew.

1:56 Drew Listening.

1:57 Adam You ever think about this concept that some people... You know how you're always wrong when you jump in and complete so-and-sentence?

2:04 Drew Yeah.

2:05 Adam And it's more than a coin toss?

2:07 Drew Yeah.

2:07 Adam I mean, you're at about 90 percent?

2:09 Drew Yeah.

2:09 Adam There's some people that have that in their life?

2:12 Drew Yeah.

2:12 Adam I think they used to call it the curse. I think Chris has the curse. I told the engineer, Chris, I said, get ready with your microphone because I'm coming to you. And so I was going to say, Dr. Drew is in New York tonight. Why, Chris?

2:31 Drew Somebody dropped a nickel.

2:33 Yeah.

2:33 Guest Yeah.

2:34 Yeah.

2:34 Adam I was going to say that. But 10 seconds after I said, get ready with your microphone, I said, boy, it's pretty light in here. And Chris then walked around and was standing at the lights when I pointed at the mic. But look, he's working. He's a new broom. He's sweeping clean.

2:50 Drew Right.

2:50 Adam Drew, what's up with you?

2:52 Drew That's kind of pick up a nickel. You know, it's interesting.

2:54 Adam What are you there? What are you there shilling for?

2:57 Drew I'm working with Trojan and I'm working. Trojan. Yeah, Trojan Company.

3:01 Adam I thought you were working with another company.

3:03 Drew I am working with another company too. Whenever I come to New York, people pile on, you know. But it is interesting. I was.

3:08 Adam What's the other company?

3:09 Drew The other company is a drug company that makes a vaginal estrogen tablet.

3:15 Adam Ah, the ass lube suppository.

3:17 Drew This is the vaginal lube suppository, vaginal atrophy treatment. Very interesting stuff. I mean, it's here's the deal.

3:23 Adam You get old, you start drying up down there, right?

3:25 Drew Exactly.

3:26 Adam And then now it becomes like one of those pig's ears, your dog chews on.

3:31 Drew Exactly. Brittle and painful and difficult to enter.

3:35 Adam Leathery.

3:36 Drew Leathery. And if you don't take these estrogen, and then now we don't use the systemic estrogens anymore. We don't give women hormone replacement therapies so much.

3:43 Adam I mean, the ones you eat.

3:45 Drew Right. So now we got to put something directly in and on the vagina to correct all that.

3:51 Adam What is the difference, Drew, and as a man of passion, I know that's not an option for you even as you get into your golden years.

3:57 Drew No.

3:58 Adam Golden. Let me say this. We used to, when women got past menopause, we would give them estrogen, right?

4:07 Drew Right. Right.

4:07 Adam And now we figured out that that's not a good thing?

4:10 Drew Well, they're just sort of, we're working it out. I still think it is a good thing, but they're certainly not using it to protect for against heart disease and strokes anymore.

4:19 Adam But they're ingesting estrogen, and estrogen will have the same effect sort of topically if it's absorbed in a certain area for that specific area?

4:28 Drew Yes. Yes. Exactly.

4:31 Adam But does it have to be a mucosal surface? Like what if I put estrogen on my elbow? Would I grow a boob?

4:37 Drew You would not, but there are delivery systems that will get through the skin, right? That's why they have estrogen, birth control patches now.

4:43 Adam Right.

4:44 Drew It's hormone going through the skin. But they don't really have, there are rings you can put inside the vagina, and there are tablets, and there's a cream you can put in there.

4:50 Adam What about for men, what about some sort of steroids or something? Couldn't you just rub that on your bicep or on your joint or something and not take it? Why not? Different?

5:04 Drew Different. And again, to get enough levels to have effect on muscle, it goes everywhere. Right.

5:11 Adam I see.

5:12 Drew Right. You can get mucosa moistened up with a little estrogen, but you can't get a muscle enlarge with that. You know what I mean? It's more of a surface thing.

5:21 Adam Speaking of uncomfortable topics, I had to go to the doctor's office and drop a little semen sample.

5:29 Drew Oh, finally.

5:32 Adam Well, no, I have, you know, what I think is powerhouse semen. I mean, talk about, I mean, first off, no one's semen finishes like mine. Great finish. Great bouquet.

5:44 Drew Nice bouquet. I noticed that.

5:45 Adam It's a nutty, woody, oaky kind of flavor. It's assertive without being pushy. Here's the point, Drew. How long can semen travel?

5:57 Drew Explain how can it travel away?

6:00 Adam If you dropped a sample, if you blasted a sample into a cup and snapped the lid on it, could you get across town with it?

6:09 Drew Yes.

6:10 Adam Right. But how long would you say?

6:12 Drew I think you'd go for a couple hours.

6:14 Adam Couple hours, of course. Of course, let me tell you the problem in life. I'll tell you the problem in life. The problem in life is we have a bunch of a-hole lawyers and a bunch of pussies. And what they basically do, and Drew, you do this yourself on occasion, they just give worst-case scenario. And then those people take it literally, and then they start screwing up smart people's schedule like myself, which is the doctor says to my wife, it's going to last 20 minutes. So how far do you live?

6:43 Drew You want to get the optimal, yeah, and they want the best possible.

6:46 Adam I'm here, but here's the thing. How far do you live? Well, the doctor's office is like an Encino or something. How far do you live? Well, I live about 22 minutes away. Okay, so you know that gets translated into Adam, you got to beat off in the hallway at the doctor's office. Now, I'm a right thinking person. I'm like, look, if he told you 20 minutes, that means somewhere under an hour. Don't worry, I know doctors speak. Believe me, this stuff's going to be just as tapioquing an hour from now as it is 20 minutes from now. But the point is, is now I'm in there trying to peel one off. And let me tell you something about beating off in a doctor's office. How about a little solitude for the man when he's trying to focus? You're hearing the nurses chatting their ass off in the reception thing. They're laughing, the phone's ringing. It's crazy. Thank God I have my ninja-like masturbation focus.

7:41 Drew Well, I'll tell you what, in the fertility clinics, usually they have little jack rooms. Well, goes you go and watch videos and produce. You line up with your buddies, you know, you line up. That's right.

7:52 Adam But how far is the jack room off of the main room?

7:57 Drew It's pretty far off. It's out by the, it's by the jack lab. It's by the semen lab.

8:01 Adam I gotta get out to the jack lab. How do I get to the jack lab? The jack pole? To the jack pole!

8:10 Drew You know what's interesting, Drew, I gotta tell you, wait, let me, I'm gonna switch topics a little bit on you quickly, is that I was doing these morning, some morning radio zoos this morning. It is uncanny how many of them sound like you doing Ace Rockolla. It's amazing.

8:26 Adam Drop, drop, drop, drop.

8:27 Drew But they're not even, they're not the young guy version of that, they're sort of the 50 year old guy version of that. A lot of that.

8:34 Adam All right. Well good. See, Drew, now you appreciate me.

8:37 Drew I do.

8:38 Adam So then it's weird because they bring you into this smacking room and they ask you, hey, you want to look at a movie or you need a Playboy or something? And to me, I got too much pride. You know what I mean? That's like when you're at the gym and some guy's like, you need a spot? You're like, no, I got it. You know what I'm saying?

8:57 Drew Yeah. I hear you. You don't want to look like you're not the ninja-like producer that you are.

9:02 Adam Plus, here's the thing about this place. The entire office is 300 square feet. The room you go into is a huge hollow corridor with about a undercut, about an inch. You can see the guy's shoes poking through. And it's right where this reception is. Like you literally just hear the conversations that people are having. And there's three people just watching you go right in. What are you going to do, fire up a movie? They're going to hear like Seika screaming through the hollow corridor.

9:32 Drew Seika, oh my God.

9:34 Adam Oh, they're old school.

9:35 Drew Oh my God.

9:36 Adam Do you realize I'm literally beating off four and a half feet from where three women are all just standing around chatting?

9:42 Drew Well, that's unusual for you. Let's be fair.

9:44 Adam I can hear every syllable from every conversation.

9:48 Drew Come on. It's not like you've never beat off women before.

9:51 Adam I just want my dignity, Drew. So, you say sperm travels for about two hours.

9:56 Drew I think you'd probably. I mean, they want to get the best case scenario. Let's face it. Come on.

10:01 Adam All right.

10:02 All right.

10:06 Adam All right. I got some good calls here, Drew.

10:08 Drew Let's go.

10:09 Adam Oh, yeah. All right. Devon.

10:12 Hi. How are you?

10:13 Adam What's happening, baby doll? 26?

10:16 26. I'm 19.

10:19 Drew Very good.

10:20 Well, that's 26 up here.

10:21 Can you guys hear me okay?

10:22 Drew Yes.

10:23 Yes.

10:24 What's your question? I have a couple of questions, but the first one is I am a squirter when I orgasm.

10:32 Drew Fascinating. Every time?

10:36 Yes, every time. That's actually my question. I want to know how to make it not happen.

10:43 Drew I don't know if there is an answer to that. The fact is... I know you heard that.

10:48 Adam Move your mic thing around. Just move it around freely so people can hear what that sounds like. Anyone want to give that a shot of WD Goddamn 40? I was in the same studio that Drew was in two weeks ago, and I was scared to even get near the mic because it was haunted. The thing about radio stations is it's really the one place in the entire planet where you can't have stuff that does a ton of squeaking and rubbing and metal on metal sound and springs popping and all that. There's more of that going on in radio stations than any other building.

11:25 Drew They pay no attention to that.

11:28 Adam Drew, push the mic all the way up and then pull it back down toward you. Is there a noisier? Drew, yes or no?

11:38 Adam It's comical.

11:40 Adam Yes. Does a bassoon make as much noise as that thing?

11:43 Drew I mean, firing up a cruise liner. Look at that.

11:48 Adam I know.

11:49 Adam It's like a novelty. It's like a foley artist would use it if you're doing a movie about a haunted house.

11:56 Drew I mean, that is just me moving the mic. Seriously.

12:00 Adam Believe me, I sat in there for two days, two weeks ago, and I was scared to even touch the microphone because every time I did...

12:08 Drew I think I can do an octet on this thing.

12:10 Adam The Beethoven.

12:11 Drew Here it is.

12:13 Adam I know.

12:14 Adam Awesome. Now, you know how you would correct that, Drew?

12:16 Drew Not moving it.

12:18 Adam No.

12:18 Drew A little WD-40.

12:20 Adam Four cents worth of WD-40. Yeah.

12:23 Drew I think if I hawked on this thing, it would be 100% better.

12:26 Adam Please put some sputum on there.

12:29 Drew Please.

12:30 Adam All right.

12:31 Adam It's comical.

12:32 Drew All right. Listen, back to the litter. Devin.

12:34 Adam Yeah.

12:34 Drew Devin, here's the deal. There are women that do this, Devin, and women that don't. Women that do it sometimes, women that do it every time. And there's really no way to convert from one to the other. I don't know of any way that you can stop this other than maybe trying to do a little Kegel exercise. And is it always when you're having intercourse that this happens?

12:51 Caller Yeah.

12:52 Drew So it's not with oral sex?

12:54 Caller I can't oral.

12:56 Drew Are you multiply orgasmic?

12:57 Caller Yeah.

12:58 Drew Yeah. Why do you want to stop? It's a talent. It's a mitzvah.

13:03 Caller Yeah, because the center-elves will be sleeping in a puddle. I have to change the sheets, I have to.

13:09 Drew This isn't urine, is it?

13:11 Caller No. You sure?

13:12 Drew Because the urine problem actually can be corrected.

13:15 Adam How about you put a sack of kitty litter down there just to kind of wick it up?

13:19 Drew How about just a big old towel and just kind of prepare for it?

13:22 Caller We do. We always have to keep a towel nearby. And my boyfriend doesn't like being on the bottom because it gets him cold. He won't be on the bottom.

13:31 Adam 40 days and 49 days.

13:32 Drew He's the first thing.

13:36 Adam Here's the thing.

13:38 Drew How's that song go about Noah?

13:39 Adam It's... God...

13:47 He's...

13:49 Adam By Tuesday...

13:50 Adam The animals, the animals that came by by Tuesday, Tuesday, big giraffes and kangaroos, children of the Lord.

13:58 Drew Yeah.

13:58 Adam Yeah. Okay.

14:00 Drew Yeah, what did we turn into here?

14:01 Adam A lot of retarded religious songs had to be sung when I was a little cello.

14:07 Thank you.

14:08 Adam Here's the, here's the dealio. See, Drew, you always talk about this like, oh, this is awesome. Guy's going to be into this.

14:16 Drew No, I think it's hard. Well, I'm just saying it's something that women are ashamed of, and it's sad that they're ashamed of it.

14:21 Adam Well, I think there's a difference between self-conscious and ashamed. I don't think she was really ashamed of it. I think it was just one of these things where too much of a good thing. Cool and everything if you're making a porn film or you're with a dude on your honeymoon. But year three into the relationship, it's getting a little old every time. And she's trying to figure out a way she can control it. And I don't know other than your Kegel exercises, if there's any way you could do that.

14:52 Drew Right. Maybe try different positions that ways that sort of don't. But it sounds like she's going that way each time. It's a talent. It's a mitzvah. It's like, come on.

15:00 Adam It is.

15:01 Drew But every time she's multi-orgasmic with the intercourse, that's so far ahead of her. She's such a talent compared to her peers.

15:10 Adam She's way ahead of the game. Way ahead of the game. But still, you got to do that thing where every time you want to get it on, you got to put something down.

15:17 Drew Yeah.

15:18 Adam All right.

15:20 Adam Let's see. Here's a very interesting question. Emily. Emily.

15:28 Yeah.

15:29 Adam What's up, baby doll? You're 13.

15:31 Caller Yeah.

15:33 Well, I don't really know what it's called, but it's like the flaps, you know?

15:42 You know what I'm talking about?

15:43 Drew No.

15:44 Adam The flaps, true.

15:45 Drew The flaps. You mean the vaginal, the internal vaginal?

15:50 Adam The ones that have you, Samity Sam, saying back off on them?

15:53 Drew The flaps. Yeah. Yeah, the flaps.

15:55 Well, one's longer, and I don't know why.

16:00 Drew That's very common. It's just, it's normal to have some degree of asymmetry, one side different than the other side. There actually are some surgical procedures that many women, not women, some women elect to have to correct that asymmetry. The most interesting one I've seen is actually a laser surgery for that. It's sort of bloodless. It just very quickly handles that problem.

16:21 Adam Is it bloodless because it sort of cauterizes the thing as it goes?

16:25 Drew Exactly.

16:26 Adam It burns, it seals, it's shut. Hey, Emily, what would you say the one that hangs down, how much further does it hang down?

16:38 Maybe like an inch.

16:42 Adam Now, an inch is pretty substantial. Is it thicker than your finger, the amount it hangs down?

16:48 No. Well, yeah, maybe it's like the same.

16:54 Adam Okay, so it's more like half an inch?

16:56 Yeah.

16:57 Adam Okay, hold on a second. Drew, there should be a class for all young girls called how the F, how far is this goddamn thing away? You know what I mean? Just spatial things.

17:09 Drew How far is this GD thing away?

17:11 Adam How far is this GD thing away? And I swear to God, there's not a woman I know that knows the difference between like a nautical mile and 18 feet. That's why they can't park. That's why you ever get behind that chick who's turning right and doesn't think she can make it between the curb and the car that's parked in the next lane, even though there's four feet on each side of her.

17:32 Drew Yes.

17:33 Adam Has no concept that her car is five and a half feet wide and she's trying to push it through a 13 foot area. Zero.

17:40 Caller Yeah.

17:42 Adam I'll tell you, my wife thought one sheet of four by eight plywood would cover the swimming pool once.

17:48 Drew I remember that. For a party, we were going to dance on it.

17:52 Adam I know. I know. It borders on retardation, Drew, and it's why I don't blame them. Obviously, there's some part of the brain that was never developed. There's some part of distance judging you need to hunt, or screw, or something.

18:06 Adam You got to figure out how far to throw the rock.

18:09 Drew That is actually right. To shoot the arrow, whatever. That's actually what some of the researchers believe, not only in distances, but also directionality. That men can find their way through with direction easier than women, or more accurately. They sort of know where north and south is all the time.

18:25 Adam Right. I don't know a woman that really knows.

18:27 Drew Some have told me that I don't. I do not.

18:29 Adam I don't know a woman that knows the difference between like three centimeters and 130 yards. And you know what else? You know how guys get their spatial stuff? We stare at football fields and baseball diamonds our whole life.

18:41 Drew It's like, first base. Yeah.

18:43 Adam You know how far 90 feet is because you know first base is 90 feet away from home plate.

18:47 Drew Right. That and we live it, you know, we experience it all the time. Yeah.

18:51 Adam And you know, if you're, by watching a gazillion football games, 10 yards, 30 feet, you know what it's going to take. You can always see everything's yards. Women don't have any yards. They need yards. All right. So the point is, is one inch is too much because that would be almost sort of freakish. But half inch is still fairly substantial, Emily. All right. So here's.

19:17 It is an inch, I think.

19:19 Drew All right. Whatever. It's a bother.

19:20 Adam Did you measure it?

19:22 No.

19:23 Drew Listen, things will change as you go through, as you've matured. Just give it some time.

19:27 Adam It ain't no big deal.

19:29 Drew Not a big thing at all.

19:29 Adam Guys don't care about that. That's right. Are you worried about what guys might think one day? Exactly.

19:36 Drew Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. Relax.

19:38 Adam No.

19:38 Okay.

19:39 Adam They don't care. But look, I got, I got...

19:42 Like, why is it...

19:44 Adam Why?

19:45 Yeah.

19:46 Adam Well, God is a vengeful God, number one. Who knows? Why are some people's eyes different colors? Why are some people have a bigger ear? Or some people have the earlobe that hangs down and others' earlobes are attached?

20:01 Drew Complete symmetry is rare. Total perfect symmetry is actually unusual.

20:04 Right.

20:04 Adam Only me and Morgan Fairchild have it.

20:07 Drew That's right. Strangely enough, that's exactly what I was going to say.

20:10 And it's not because I, you know...

20:12 Drew You masturbate?

20:13 Yeah.

20:14 Drew No, no. It's nothing to do with that. That's good. That's fine. Relax. All right.

20:17 Adam And here's the other thing, too. Everybody, everybody, I've really, I've figured it out. I've figured life out.

20:24 Drew I'm ready. Here we go. And?

20:26 Adam Here it is. You can't affect anything in a negative or positive way. That's the truth that no one ever tells you about. Meaning?

20:34 Drew About your body.

20:35 Adam Yes. Your excessive masturbation isn't going to change the shape of your penis or your vagina. And on the other hand is all the running in the world isn't going to change the shape of your calves.

20:45 Drew Right.

20:46 Adam It's sad, but it's true.

20:48 Drew That's right.

20:49 Adam Okay. So why do anything? That's my point. And now that masturbation is not going to hurt, pow.

20:59 Drew Okay.

20:59 Adam Boy, squeeze one off today, Drew, at the office. But I really feel I feel like I was raped.

21:04 Drew You're dirty.

21:05 Adam Dirty.

21:05 Drew Yeah.

21:06 Adam And I feel like I now owe myself a good one. You know what I mean? You know, it was equivalent.

21:13 Drew Enjoy, Adam, please. Thank you for sharing and just enjoy.

21:15 Adam Well, it was equivalent of you ever eating a piece of pie or piece of dessert and the phone rings and you start talking, you start arguing with someone and then you look down, you realize you ate the entire piece of pie and you remember it because you're arguing and you're like, fantastic. I feel I'm robbed. I feel raped now. That's how I feel with my masturbation.

21:34 Drew I can't blame you. What are you going to do?

21:35 Adam I'll be back though.

21:37 Drew Oh, you've announced that.

21:38 Adam That's the mark of a great champion. You know what I'm saying? Because I believe everything happens for a reason, Drew.

21:46 Drew It takes all kinds.

21:47 Adam And it takes all kinds. All right. Let's talk to John. John?

21:53 Caller Yeah.

21:54 Adam You had surgery on your ball sack.

21:55 Caller I did.

21:56 Adam And it still hurts.

21:58 Caller It does.

21:59 Adam Hold on a second. Hold on. We got to take a break. I'm going to try to get out on time tonight, Drew. What do you say, buddy?

22:04 Drew I'm up for it. I'll be shocked. I'm shocked.

22:06 Adam All right. Dr. Drew is in New York City. Why, engineer Chris?

22:12 Drew Somebody dropped a nickel.

22:14 Adam I think it's I think it's funnier if you say because somebody dropped a nickel.

22:18 Drew It's more complete. Yeah. Yeah.

22:19 Adam Let's let's try it again.

22:20 Drew Yes. All right. Dr. Drew. It's also, by the way, out of the longest sentence I've ever heard Chris iterate. So here we go.

22:26 Adam I know. But he's good at this one. Yeah. Dr. Drew in New York City. Why, engineer Chris?

22:33 Caller Because somebody dropped a nickel.

22:35 Drew Yeah. That's my son. That's my boy. Yeah. I feel sort of proud.

22:41 Adam Solid C plus, buddy. And engineer Chris may be graduating junior college. No. Although we're heading into late May and he's not sure yet. So I'm going to take that as a big, big no.

22:52 Caller I haven't seen my counselor yet.

22:53 Adam Sorry.

22:55 Adam But when's when's the semester in?

22:58 Drew June 11th, June 11th.

22:59 Adam So you got about three weeks, three, four weeks left.

23:02 Drew Is your counselor, is your counselor the guy I saw you, the Pat Morita guy? No, no.

23:08 Guest At Starbucks, like a year ago. No, no.

23:11 Caller I have to see a school counselor.

23:13 Adam OK.

23:14 Caller All right.

23:14 Adam Now, always remember, you take advice from those guys, but those guys are bigger flunkies than you or I could ever hope to be.

23:20 Caller Really?

23:20 Adam Oh, yeah, absolutely.

23:23 Drew Yeah.

23:24 Adam Junior college counselors?

23:25 Drew Yeah.

23:27 Adam So junior college counselors, like a fat guy, runs a weight loss clinic. You know what I mean?

23:33 Drew Yeah.

23:34 Adam Like, really, how much can you listen to the guy?

23:36 Drew Really?

23:37 Adam Taking his advice?

23:38 Drew He's not too much advice, but he's telling you the ropes. All right.

23:42 Caller All right.

23:42 Drew You have to tell them what you want.

23:44 Caller All right.

23:45 Adam He's talking about Atkins while he's eating a giant hoagie with like mayonnaise dripping off it.

23:52 Drew Nice.

23:52 Adam Let's take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back with John and his ball sack after this.

24:06 Drew This portion of Love Line is sponsored in part by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. Safety Belt Enforcement is not about tickets, it's about saving lives.

24:17 Adam Oh, you know what?

24:18 Caller Gotta get it on.

24:20 Adam It's a it's it's getting dangerously dangerously close to finger popping time, Drew.

24:25 Drew Oh, no.

24:26 Caller You know what I'm saying?

24:27 Drew Yeah, I hear you.

24:28 Caller Yeah.

24:29 Adam Yeah. Oh, yeah. Hey, Drew.

24:33 Drew Yeah.

24:34 Adam Let's see if you remember from last night.

24:35 Drew Adam Corolla, Adam Corolla, Adam's best friend, our part of the Shoozie.

24:42 Caller Yeah.

24:45 Adam See, I got a plan, everybody. I want to replace Marco Polo with Adam Corolla. Yeah, I think it could I think it could go to. I reckon there's more school age, pool, pool age kids that know my name than Marco Polo's. That's what I'm going to say. Maybe they've heard of Marco Polo, but only from the game. They don't know what he did. They don't know what a brave, brave man he was because he wasn't scared, right Drew?

25:11 Drew Well, that's what we discovered last night.

25:12 Caller Yeah.

25:13 Drew Based on that fourth grade rendition of his history.

25:16 Adam Engineer Chris pulls stuff translated from crayon by retards and gives it to him.

25:21 Caller All right. We're ready to rock here, Drew?

25:24 Drew Let's go.

25:25 Adam Dr. Drew, by the way, in New York City tonight, why engineer Chris?

25:29 Guest Somebody dropped a nickel.

25:30 Adam No, you see, I knew we'd forget the because.

25:33 Caller Remember the because?

25:34 Guest Sorry, man.

25:35 Caller Are you ready?

25:36 Yeah.

25:37 Adam Dr. Drew in New York City tonight, why is he in New York?

25:42 Caller Because somebody dropped a nickel.

25:43 Caller That's right, buddy.

25:45 Adam That's going on your reel too. John?

25:50 Caller John? How's it going, buddy?

25:52 Adam You're 20. What's up?

25:53 Caller Well, on April 13th, I had surgery on my boys and both of them on one.

26:02 Adam One of them, huh?

26:04 Caller The right one. It was a hermaphysial. And I had it on the 13th.

26:09 Drew Spermaticelle.

26:11 Caller Is that what it's called?

26:12 Drew Yeah.

26:13 Adam Well, it's not called a smurf maficelle.

26:17 Caller Well, you're the doctor. I don't know.

26:19 Drew All right. Good. Here we go ahead.

26:20 Caller And so, but the doctor said it would be quick, hurt in about three weeks, but now it only hurts when I get an erection. And now I don't know if that's normal or what, but I guess you're the guy to talk to.

26:29 Drew How long ago was the surgery?

26:30 Caller Do it on the 13th of April.

26:33 Drew So about a month ago.

26:34 Caller Yeah.

26:35 Drew Yeah. It'll go all the way to normal. Why did they operate in this? They usually don't.

26:39 Caller Well, see, that's what he said the first time. Then I went back and he said that this could be problematic in my future because I'd like to have kids. And so they decided to take it out.

26:49 Drew That's interesting. And now they really don't do that now. They tend not to operate on those. Maybe it was real big.

26:55 Adam Well, that's nice to hear, by the way, that they removed one of your nuts.

26:59 Caller On the ultrasound it says about an inch and a half.

27:02 Drew That's still pretty small. But okay, anyways, that's fine. It's out, it's done, it's the end of it.

27:06 Adam All right. By the way, every woman listening pictured one of those giant workout balls that you roll on at the gym.

27:14 Drew When you said an inch and a half across.

27:16 Adam Yes, they all pictured something you couldn't carry in your car.

27:19 Adam Oh my.

27:20 Adam Yeah, because they don't know size. Really, it's gotta be a class for that, Drew.

27:24 Guest Yeah.

27:25 Drew I'm not sure it'll work.

27:27 Adam I'll tell you how it works. You just stare at a tape measure.

27:31 Drew Yeah, like when you do that as a carpenter. But see, you as a carpenter, it sort of sunk in. It doesn't have to sink in. Our brain will only take on what's designed to take on. You know what I'm saying? If we're not wired to take on certain information, it's very hard to get it in.

27:44 Adam I'm going to put that to the test right now. Dr. Drew is in New York City tonight. Why, Engineer Chris?

27:51 Caller Because somebody dropped a nickel.

27:52 Caller See, he said because.

27:54 Drew Well, he's set up for that. He can do it.

27:55 Adam Yeah.

27:57 Adam Talk about wiring to take on. Nice job, buddy. I wish I had a treat I could throw on.

28:04 Drew Thanks, man.

28:04 Guest No, I'm not a dog.

28:06 Adam Drew, do we have any engineer treats? I immediately throw. I wish I need some sort of bait bucket on my belt that I could just keep causing you something. It'd be like.

28:17 Drew Snuffles. Sniffles, yeah.

28:19 Caller Yeah, it's that dog that loves snoss. Snuffles.

28:22 Adam Yeah, no, I know. There was that cartoon dog that would fly up and go to heaven every time he had a liver snip.

28:28 Caller Diana.

28:28 Drew Strangely, that was on Quick Drama Gras.

28:31 Adam Yes.

28:31 Drew A bunch of animals. What? What? OK, anyway.

28:33 Adam Diana.

28:35 Guest Adam Corolla.

28:38 Caller OK, I just had to do that before it started. I'm sorry.

28:41 Adam It could catch on. Diana, do you have a pool?

28:45 Caller No, I don't.

28:46 Adam OK, well, this conversation is terminated. I'm only interested in people that can sort of perpetuate the Adam Corolla.

28:54 Drew Her friends could have a pool.

28:57 Adam Diana.

28:58 Caller Yes.

28:59 Adam Do you know anyone who has a pool?

29:01 Caller Yes, I do, in fact. So, you know, if you want to come and use that one, sure.

29:06 Adam Well, I don't need to actually show up, but if you could use this summer when you guys are playing what used to be called Marco Polo.

29:13 Caller Sure, not a problem. I can do that.

29:15 Adam If you could do the Adam Corolla thing, I think it would be awesome.

29:17 Caller They all listen to Loveline anyway.

29:20 Adam Well, let's see if I can play it by the pool.

29:22 Caller Diana, go ahead, baby, Diana.

29:24 Caller Okay. First of all, I'll give you a little bit of background information, but not too much because I know you like to know what the question is. When I was younger, I was molested by my father, so you don't have to ask where daddy is.

29:39 Caller Beautiful.

29:40 Caller Yeah. Well, went to therapy, went to court, went back to therapy, and it's all good now.

29:45 Caller Good.

29:46 Caller So, yeah. I'm 18, and because of the whole thing with my dad, my mom read all the books, followed all the instructions. She was very strict. She watched my interactions with just males in general just because she wanted to make sure, because she read, as you've often said, that we either get asexual or extremely permissive. Right.

30:08 Drew Good for your mom.

30:09 Caller Right.

30:09 Adam Oh, yeah.

30:10 Caller No, I have an awesome mom.

30:11 Adam Yeah. Well, just to put a finer point on it, you get both. You get hypersexual.

30:16 Drew You go back and forth.

30:17 Adam And then I run into you when you're like 28. Yeah.

30:20 Caller Yeah. I think that's kind of what happened, because like I was afraid to even masturbate until I was 17 and out of my parents' house. Right. But anyway, anyway, anyway, I lost my virginity this weekend to a buddy of mine. But I'm 18 and he's 23. And I didn't know if that was a decent age range or a borderline age range.

30:46 Drew Decent. That's fine. I had no problem with that one. If you were 17, it would it would bother us a little bit if you were 17. It's a little bit. I bet you it feels funny for him because really you're sort of just out of high school and he's sort of into the workforce or graduate school, that kind of thing.

31:01 Caller Well, he felt really bad about it at first. Like he was really into it. But then like after the first time, he was like, oh my God, what have I done?

31:10 Caller I feel like a child molester.

31:11 Caller I was like, no, I'm 18. I'm going to go.

31:14 Adam How many more times did he bang after that?

31:16 Caller Ten.

31:17 Adam Ten times.

31:18 Drew Men are great.

31:19 Adam But he did it with a heavy heart.

31:22 Drew Yeah. Yeah. His head hung low.

31:24 Adam That's the beauty of guys. He banged her the first time and he really, frankly, he had trouble looking at himself in the mirror. He really did. So he only banged her ten more times. Oh, imagine if he didn't feel bad. He would have put a hole in her. Oh, that's your love, guys.

31:42 Adam Oh, I know.

31:43 Adam Let me tell you how long you feel bad for. Whatever your refractory period is. That's how long you feel bad for. If your refractory period is 30 seconds, you feel bad for 30 seconds.

31:53 Caller If it's eight hours, you feel bad for eight hours.

31:55 Drew Oh, my God. Yeah, I wish that weren't true, but that's true.

31:59 Adam It's so true. Only 10 more times.

32:03 Caller Over the course of 48 hours, okay?

32:05 It was like...

32:07 Adam Obviously, he was struggling with this.

32:09 Drew Stricken, he was stricken.

32:10 Caller Stricken, stricken.

32:12 Adam Did a lot of soul searching while he was banging you. May probably be the seventh through tenth time. A lot of soul searching. All right, he dug deep, Drew.

32:22 Caller Anyway, yeah, so a couple of questions. This probably sounds really dumb, like I don't know what I'm talking about, but I don't.

32:30 Caller I feel kind of sore.

32:34 Drew Isn't that normal?

32:35 Adam Yes.

32:36 Drew Yes, particularly since you've done it 10 times in a 24-hour period.

32:40 Adam Eleven, actually.

32:41 Drew Eleven, whatever.

32:41 Caller 48 hours, 48 hours, two days.

32:43 Drew Yeah, the vagina is not meant to withstand all that, unfortunately. Many vaginas are not.

32:48 Caller Well, and the other thing, okay, the next question is, after the first two times, I bled, like, a lot, and it scared the hell out of me. So, is that normal?

33:02 Drew Yeah, yeah. And more than not, that's probably, were you near your period?

33:06 Caller No.

33:07 Adam I bet that's really what made him step back and really assess things before he moved up and banged you.

33:14 Drew Right. That's when he was feeling stricken again. Oh, my God, I've broken her. I've broken her.

33:19 Adam I love this guy. All right. And this is a friend of yours?

33:23 Caller Yeah. I think he kind of did it as a favor.

33:27 Adam Oh, let me tell you something, favor. Favor is, I go down on you for one Beatles song and then I'm out of here. Oh, my. That's a favor.

33:35 Caller I don't think you could have gotten much out of it. I mean, seriously, it's not like I knew what I was doing.

33:40 Adam Listen, most guys would prefer the chick just be dead, quite frankly, and they could do what they will.

33:47 Guest No, I wouldn't go for that.

33:49 Adam Drew, no?

33:49 Drew Many guys, many guys.

33:51 Adam Many guys.

33:51 Drew Not most guys, many guys.

33:52 Adam No, but listen, that whole she really knew what she was doing thing is more like we would replace that with hold still and trying to focus on number 11 here. You know what I'm saying? We would rather have clay than a sculpture to hump. You know, a finished product. Do you know what I'm saying?

34:16 Drew Yeah, I know what you're saying.

34:17 Adam Clay to mold around our joint. You know what I'm saying, Drew?

34:21 Drew We're going too far. It's actually making me uncomfortable.

34:24 Adam Sorry, buddy. Diana?

34:26 Caller Okay, all right. I'm trying to go through these kind of acts. I've also been itching just a little bit, but there's no discharge or anything like that. I don't know if that's maybe irritation from 11 condoms.

34:38 Drew Yeah, probably. Yes.

34:41 Caller Infection or something like that.

34:42 Drew It could be, Mike, it's over the counter. Use some medication if it persists, then you want to see your doctor about that. And you are sexually active now. Are you having yearly pap smears?

34:50 Caller I'm actually getting one very, like within the next couple of days.

34:54 Drew Perfect.

34:55 Caller All right.

34:55 Adam And your dad, is he in prison or is he?

35:00 Caller No, they let him off. But he was indicted. Like they sent it to the grand jury with a count of just sexual assault of a child. And the indictments came back with two counts, one of aggravated sexual assault through contact and aggravated sexual assault through exposure. So, I mean, there was evidence there. It just, the prosecutor dropped the ball and pissed me off really bad.

35:28 Adam And your mom was never abused?

35:31 Caller No, no, she wasn't.

35:33 Caller She was a lesbian, but she was never abused.

35:36 Adam She was abused.

35:38 Drew She was married to this guy for a while.

35:40 Adam Baby she was abused.

35:40 Caller She was married to this guy for five years because her family ditched her in Oklahoma and the only thing she could do to get a new family was marry someone.

35:47 Drew So she's a trauma survivor of all kinds of horrible things.

35:50 Caller She's a survivor though.

35:52 Drew Yeah, yeah, we get that.

35:53 Adam She was abused, baby doll. That's it. Sorry. That's how it goes. That's why she married this guy. That's why she's a lesbian. God bless you, though. You went to therapy. Your mom did what she could. And it seems like you're smart and you've come out on top. Well, the man you had a lot of love stored up for this guy. Go get that Pabst smear and, whoo, 11 condoms, Drew.

36:17 Guest You had good times.

36:19 Adam That guy says like a landfill with his name in front of it.

36:22 Drew Nice.

36:23 Adam 11, I don't think I've gone through 11 condoms in my life.

36:26 Guest Yeah.

36:27 Adam This guy went through, yeah. You have to have sex.

36:29 Drew Not without a nap, anyway, yeah.

36:31 Adam This guy's had 11 condoms in a long weekend. And not even a long one. All right, let's see. Boyfriend won't make up sex as far as I can. Let's talk to Renee. Renee?

36:46 Hello?

36:47 Adam 22?

36:48 Yes.

36:49 Adam What's up?

36:50 Well, my boyfriend is kind of weird about sex. He, in a lot of ways, it seems like I'm the guy and he's the girl. If that makes any sense.

37:04 Adam Oh, yeah, because you have the penis?

37:07 Caller No.

37:08 Adam Well, hold on a second. I don't know what then. I'm confused. Hold on a second, Drew.

37:13 Drew All right. You're going to stop on time.

37:14 Adam We got to take ourselves a break because it's my new decree is for us to finish on time. I'm over here in Los Angeles. Drew is in New York City. Why, engineer Chris?

37:28 Caller Somebody dropped a nickel.

37:32 Drew I said the brain's got to be ready to receive this info.

37:34 Caller The brain really doesn't have to be ready.

37:35 Drew Somebody dropped a nickel.

37:37 Adam Let's get a clean one. I'll tell you what, can we just put it on a cart? Can we get a nice clean, lay down something clean during the break? We'll put on a cart and we'll just queue the cart.

37:47 Guest Anderson's not there today.

37:48 Adam You can't do it over here?

37:49 Caller No.

37:50 Adam Okay.

37:51 Guest I can try.

37:52 Adam No, I'm going to need you to get a clean one then.

37:54 Caller Okay.

37:54 Adam I'm over here in Los Angeles tonight. Dr. Drew is in New York City this evening. And why, Engineer Chris?

38:01 Guest Because somebody dropped a nickel.

38:02 Adam That's right. We'll be back with Renee, who may possibly have a penis after this.

38:17 Caller Yeah! Tell you what, I'll tell you what, that's what, I'll tell you what.

38:24 Adam Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-E-191-ER.

38:29 Caller I'm Dr. Drew.

38:30 Drew No, you're not.

38:31 Adam I am Dr. Drew.

38:33 Drew Okay.

38:34 Adam I am Dr. Drew and that's Dr. Drew too. It's two Dr. Drews. Phone number, fax number. We need your e-mails at. Dr. Drew is in New York City tonight. Why, Engineer Chris?

38:49 Guest Because somebody dropped a nickel.

38:54 Adam Hold on.

38:54 Adam Why, Engineer Chris?

38:56 Guest Because somebody dropped a nickel.

38:57 Adam Why?

38:58 Guest Because somebody dropped a nickel.

38:59 Adam I didn't hear you the first time.

39:01 Guest Because somebody dropped a nickel.

39:02 Adam Come again?

39:03 Guest Because somebody dropped a nickel.

39:05 Caller Speak up, son.

39:05 Guest Because somebody dropped a nickel.

39:07 Adam Yeah. Isn't technology awesome?

39:10 Caller Beautiful.

39:11 Adam Took him 27 takes during the break and we were able to piece that together from nine of them.

39:16 Drew The whole four minutes, man.

39:17 Adam Well, we didn't get...

39:18 Drew I heard him doing it. I heard him doing it.

39:21 Adam We didn't get a clean one, but we took nine of them and we just whacked them up together. We took a couple syllables from each one. Some we only took half a syllable. All right. But the point is, is it's all worth it. Why engineer, Chris?

39:33 Guest Because somebody dropped a nickel. All right.

39:36 Caller All right. You ready to rock?

39:40 Adam I didn't want to talk to this guy, but his name is Marco and as you know, I want to change the game Marco Polo to Adam Carolla. Marco?

39:48 Caller Yeah.

39:49 Adam You're going to have to name your, change your name to Adam.

39:52 Caller Adam.

39:53 Adam Under my regime. Yeah. Because the Marco Polo game is going to be changed. From what, Drew?

39:59 Drew Adam.

40:00 Caller Corolla.

40:01 Adam Adam.

40:02 Caller Corolla.

40:03 Drew Adam's masturbating the jacuzzi.

40:05 Adam See that's fish out of water.

40:07 Drew Fish out of water, see.

40:08 Adam Marco.

40:09 Yes.

40:10 Adam You're 19 and your girlfriend got an STD from a threesome they were in?

40:15 Caller Yeah. Yeah, it's worrying me a lot right now. What happened was, it was her idea, it was happened this Friday. This girl was a friend, it's somebody we know. And so we didn't think any, we saw everything. She didn't look, she looked normal. And what happened was, she's having kind of moist skin around the vaginal area. And she has-

40:43 Adam Marco, you pre-med?

40:45 Caller Pre-med?

40:46 Caller What?

40:47 Adam Are you going to, are you pre-med? You going to college?

40:50 Caller Pre-med, what's pre-med?

40:51 Drew Oh boy.

40:52 Adam Okay, fine.

40:52 Drew Here we go.

40:53 Adam I just, when I hear vaginal area, I figure-

40:56 Caller Well, yeah.

40:57 Adam Okay, go ahead.

40:58 Caller Oh, well, what happened is, I just want to know, we don't know what it is. She hasn't gone to the doctor yet, she's a little worried. She still lives with her parents. She's 18, but-

41:08 Drew How did she get an STD and you escaped?

41:10 Caller That's what we want to find. I just want to find out if I'm going to get it too, or if I might've escaped. I haven't felt any symptoms yet.

41:19 Drew And what is it again that she- Describe what it is she's seeing-

41:21 Adam She's moisture around the vaginal area.

41:23 Drew I don't know what the hell that means.

41:24 Caller And it's sore. So we don't know what it can be.

41:28 Drew Maybe it's just irrit- No, look, okay, listen. You don't get off the Internet, take her to a doctor, get this thing looked at while she's still having symptoms and findings. It may be- The only thing that really can cause irritation on the outside like that is herpes. It may just be a yeast infection. It may just be excessive-

41:47 Caller Yeah, that's what we heard too. So, I mean, it's hard because it's hard not to worry about it because it's, you know, I don't know.

41:54 Drew Well, here's the deal. There's nothing you can do about it. You've got to take her to a doctor and have somebody look at it who can't- I can't even guess what you're describing because you don't know how to describe it in a way that makes sense to me.

42:03 Adam Marco, did you have sex with her?

42:06 Caller Yes.

42:07 Adam Oh, what a gig. What's up with your girlfriend? She must be nutty.

42:11 Caller Well, we were drunk and it didn't seem like a bad idea at the time. Of course it does now.

42:17 Adam Oh yeah, sure.

42:18 Caller But, yeah.

42:19 Adam All right, listen, you got to take your girlfriend to the doctor. Just go to the free clinic. See what they say.

42:24 Drew There's no telling what. There's maybe nothing. Maybe just irritation from all the activity. I don't know what you guys did.

42:29 Caller Mm-hmm. All right.

42:30 Adam I know we're supposed to speak to Renee, who may have a penis.

42:34 Drew What?

42:35 Adam No, she doesn't. But I'm intrigued by George. George?

42:38 Guest Hey, hey Adam, how's it going?

42:40 Adam What's happening? You're 20?

42:42 Guest Yeah, yeah. I just wanted to start it off with Adam. Corolla!

42:46 Adam Thanks, buddy.

42:47 Guest My question is, I want to ask you and Dr. Drew, what the role is in culture in making like predictions about someone's future. For example, you say, if a girl's father is not there when she's growing up, she's going to grow up to be this type of person, or if she's being up as a kid, she's going to grow up to be this type of person.

43:09 Drew Not the type of person. It's more how they will, the way they'll experience themselves here in relationships.

43:14 Adam What they're attracted to.

43:15 Drew Right. What they'll be attracted to in relationships. And it will speak volumes about how they regulate emotions. It does have a lot to do with that.

43:24 Adam There's an element of this kind of person, but it's mainly we can predict who they're going to end up with. Right.

43:30 Drew Who they're going to be attracted to.

43:32 Guest My story is, I mean, I'm Asian, and growing up, I grew up in an Asian, predominantly Asian American society. And growing up, if I did something wrong, I get busted the windshield or I shave the cat, I would be beaten with a stick. And I'm 20 years old now, and I'm realizing maybe that's not the best way that I grew up, but I don't think I'm screwed up. You think it might, I've always thought of it as a culture thing. You know, if you do something wrong, you're taught a lesson.

44:03 Adam What about the Asians? Do they, I know they're a discipline culture, but do they, I thought they just beat themselves. I don't know.

44:11 Drew Well, I actually believe that Asians are more resilient than Caucasians, they have a very high degree of resiliency, but that being, that's notwithstanding that.

44:19 Adam How dare you, Drew, I'm Caucasian.

44:20 Drew Yeah, I'm judging, I'm judging. Notwithstanding that.

44:22 Adam My post and dad's a Caucasian, how can you say that about him?

44:25 Drew Notwithstanding that, though, having somebody that you rely upon for your safety, making you feel powerless will affect how your brain develops. And the thing that will result in is difficulty with emotional regulation. It will make you attracted to people that are a certain type of person. It will make you need high levels of arousal and sexual experiences. So you may need fetishistic kinds of things. So it affects you. Now, does it destroy you? No, it doesn't necessarily destroy you. Does it make you likely to abuse your children? Yes, because you think that's how child rearing is supposed to be done. But it has a profound effect on the trajectory of your brain development. The idea of mental health is to have an integrated central nervous system, so you can regulate in a flexible and integrated way. Physical abuse tends to interrupt that development.

45:11 Guest Okay.

45:14 Adam Here's a trivia question. I don't know the answer to this one, but I have no idea what the answer is. But the blacks, black mamas seem to put the smackdown on their black kids quite a bit, and the Jews don't seem to do much beaten on their kids. I don't know as far as the prison populace, how that goes with violent crime. I couldn't tell you if there's more Jews than blacks in prison or vice versa in there for violence. I just don't know the answer to that. But it'd be interesting to find out if there's any correlation. Yes, Drew?

45:48 Drew Whatever you say, Mr. Corolla.

45:50 Adam I don't know if there's any correlation. Again, I don't know what the populace is of violent criminals in the joint. I don't know if there's any connection between beating the crap out of your kids and them beating the crap out of society. But it'd be interesting for someone to look into one day, wouldn't it, Drew?

46:04 Drew We had to do a study like that.

46:05 Adam Well, it'd be a study.

46:07 Drew But you might have to judge.

46:08 Adam I don't know, though. I don't have any answers. I couldn't tell. Right now, I'm leaning Jew. I figured there'd be more of them in there. But I'm not sure. So we'd have to look that up. Engineer Chris, maybe get on the Internet, find that out. Yeah, but there's no judging involved. I'm just saying maybe a correlation between smacking your kids around and your kids smacking other people around when they get older. Possible correlation. Still, the jury's still out. Yes, Drew?

46:33 Drew Yes, jury's out.

46:35 Adam All right. So, George, you shaving the can, not a great thing. Your parents beating you with a stick, not a great thing either, but you sound like you have your head together.

46:45 Drew The beating thing also will give you sort of antisocial tendencies. You'll not trust people, you'll tend to resist authority, and it's not a great way to go through life.

46:54 Adam But an interesting point, which is the Asian folks do seem to have a little more discipline or be able to tolerate discipline or somehow, more resilient. There's something about the structure of the culture that keeps them in check a little more, and doesn't make them go sick, as my gay friends would say. Yes?

47:14 Drew Yes, Adam.

47:15 Adam All right, let's take a break. I'm over here in Los Angeles tonight. Drew is a wear engineer, Chris, and why?

47:23 Drew Oh, this is a reach out. Come on now. Come on.

47:26 Adam It's not going to work. It's not going to work.

47:28 Drew That's a graduate school question.

47:29 Adam We'll get that queued up. We'll get that queued up. All right. That was a two-parter. That's too hard. You're right.

47:35 Adam We'll take a little break.

47:35 Adam We'll be right back after this. I'm Adam.

48:09 Adam That's Dr. Drew.

48:11 Adam Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew in New York City tonight. Why, Engineer Chris?

48:20 Guest Because somebody dropped a nickel.

48:22 Adam How come?

48:23 Guest Because somebody dropped a nickel.

48:24 Adam I didn't hear you.

48:25 Guest Because somebody dropped a nickel.

48:27 Adam One more?

48:27 Guest Because somebody dropped a nickel.

48:29 Adam Five more real fast?

48:31 Guest Because somebody dropped a nickel. Because somebody dropped a nickel.

48:34 Caller Because somebody dropped a nickel.

48:35 Guest Because somebody dropped a nickel. Because somebody dropped a nickel.

48:38 Caller All right. You see?

48:41 Adam Talking about precision. He's on top of it.

48:44 Caller I'm pretty fast.

48:46 Adam Do that one again.

48:48 Caller Yeah.

48:49 Drew Come on.

48:49 Adam Engineer Chris. Now listen, kid, I told you I was going to put you on the air when I first met you two years ago.

48:54 Drew Right, right.

48:55 Adam All right.

48:55 Drew Yeah, right, right. Here you go.

48:57 Adam Okay. We're going to get back to the phones and speak to Renee, who's 22, who I started speaking to about an hour ago and then got bored with. Renee.

49:10 Caller Hi.

49:11 Adam Your boyfriend, you were saying that you feel like the man in the relationship.

49:17 In a lot of ways I do, especially sexually, because I feel like I'm the one who instigates things the most and I feel like I'm the one who really tries to put him in the mood instead of the other way around.

49:30 Drew How often are you guys having sex?

49:32 Well, not as often anymore as we used to.

49:35 Drew How often?

49:36 Um, gosh, a couple of times a...

49:41 Caller We only...

49:42 Maybe a couple of times a month now.

49:44 Drew How long have you guys been going out for?

49:46 It'll be six months.

49:48 Drew Is he on any medication or anything like that?

49:50 No, I'm on birth control and...

49:52 Drew No, he, he.

49:53 Oh, no, I don't... Um, he takes allergy pills once in a while, I don't know.

49:58 Drew That shouldn't do it, although it can occasionally, but that's pretty much a bad time. Six months into a relationship and, you know, and it's already down to every couple times a month, right? Hold on, I gotta do something.

50:11 Adam Drew dared to move his microphone holder in New York City. Yeah, I know the thing's haunted. If it's down to a couple times a month and you've been in it for six months, how long has it been down a couple times a month, a couple months?

50:26 Well, actually, just recently. And I mean, when we first...

50:31 Adam Hold on, how does it do? Okay, you know what I'm saying?

50:34 Drew She doesn't understand what you're getting at.

50:36 Adam There's a math problem.

50:37 Drew Yes, I know.

50:38 Adam Another good class for the ladies to take. Is there a noisier piece of equipment in the United States?

50:48 Drew Here's like if I try to go slowly and make it quiet, here's what I get.

50:53 Caller Yeah.

50:55 Adam It's awesome because it's inside a radio studio.

50:57 Drew That's right.

50:59 Adam A shot of olive oil would fix that thing for the next five years.

51:04 Drew I looked at it and it didn't work.

51:05 Adam But it'll never ever happen. It's the beauty of radio. All right, Renee, here's what you need to do. You need to talk to him. You need to have a conversation with him and see what he has to say about it.

51:17 Drew Is he done with this relationship, do you think?

51:20 I don't know.

51:21 Drew Or do you think this is his normal rhythm, that just normally he's one of these guys that just doesn't have sex that often?

51:26 Well, recently, I was trying to have sex with him, and I said, well, do you even want to? And he said, well, not really.

51:35 Drew Whoa.

51:35 And I said, well, if you don't want to, you need to tell me instead of leading me on because-

51:40 Adam Drew, is smoke coming out of your ears? Drew still is trying to digest that last sentence.

51:48 Drew You know, it's interesting, this thing I did for the Vagifam people today, this intravag-

51:53 Adam Vagifam?

51:54 Drew It's just the name of their tablet, their vaginal tablet.

51:56 Adam And the world's worst boxing nickname, Vagifam.

52:03 Adam You're a Vagifam. Hailing from the Boston area and fighting out of Nevada, Las Vegas, James, Vagifam, Tony. Yeah, it's bad. Yeah.

52:18 Drew But we did a Harris poll on sort of how frequently people are having sex.

52:22 Adam And Harris is a weird thing to do for Vagifam because it sounds like hairy vag.

52:26 Drew All right, dude. All right. Come on. Are you high? You went and smoked pot before you came back here.

52:32 Adam Harris and Vagifam. Harris. You got the word poll, Harris, vag and fem. All the same same sentence.

52:41 Caller Awesome.

52:41 Adam Come on, buddy.

52:42 Caller Go ahead.

52:42 Adam You did a poll.

52:43 Drew And you know how frequently people had sex. How happy they were. And of course, people are having sex more than, you know, one or two times a week. We describe this relationship as happy and satisfying and all this stuff. But what I found interesting is there was like 10 or 20 percent that were sort of rarely having sex and still describe their relationship as satisfying, not as satisfying as the frequency people. But they're like, hey, we're fine. We never have. But it's all right. That is like people are you realize when you look at the data that people are all over the place with this. In reality, some people's, you know, clocks are, you know, ticking rapidly. And some are barely, you know, operating.

53:17 Adam Well, Drew, you don't have to speak to the good folks at Vagifem or the Harry Paul to find that out. Because as you know, I've been saying that since you met me.

53:27 Drew Yes, yes, you have. Yes, yes.

53:29 Adam Drew, you've known anyone who knows as much as I do?

53:32 Drew I never have. It's amazing. Well, you've declared yourself a genius and you were right. We're going to do.

53:38 Adam Yes, because I have great instincts.

53:40 Drew No, it's it's sort of like you channel, you channel all the world's info.

53:44 Adam Right. And you know, I like, you know, I don't read books, Drew, because it gets in the way of the Dow, the stuff that flows through you. Yes, I don't want I don't want people in their cockamamie theories getting in the way of what I know is right.

53:55 Drew Right.

53:56 Adam Thank you.

53:56 Adam Same reason. Same reason. I don't look at the globe or maps.

54:01 Adam All right.

54:02 Adam So we need to figure out, is this and Drew, a few years ago, you would have said, come on, the guy's 23 is done. It's over with. But now I do kind of say there is an element. There is an element of that. But what if he's the five percent where, hey, it's his rhythm.

54:17 Drew And then that's the question here.

54:19 Adam So Renee, yeah, you need to figure out whether it's just the guy's rhythm and he's just sort of getting into his pace and he's on a two times a month pace, or he's pulling out of the relationship.

54:33 Well, when I asked him about it, I said, you know, is there something from your past that makes you unable to...

54:40 Drew No, no, no, no, not past. It's just his biology. Everybody's sort of biological rhythms are different. Now, yes, your past can affect all that emotionally, but the reality is, particularly for men, their biological rhythm is set by their genetic endowments.

54:56 Adam Yes. Hey, Renee, not the size of the penis, by the way.

54:58 Drew No, no.

54:59 Adam I think it's what she thought. What's he do for a living?

55:02 He works...

55:04 Drew He works. Adam, Adam, you got that? Adam, hang on a second. Get that, get that, Dan.

55:08 I promise I had a point.

55:10 Adam She was gonna say something. He works where?

55:12 He works at an electrical... It's an electrical warehouse, I guess.

55:17 Drew Adam, an electrical place where people work.

55:19 Adam All right. He works at a place where they sell like electrical parts wholesale or something?

55:24 I think so.

55:25 Adam All right.

55:26 Drew No, wait a minute. I imagine like some sort of transformer facility or something like a power plant.

55:32 Adam Electrical warehouse is just a place that sells electrical stuff. All right, Rene.

55:37 Drew All right.

55:37 Adam I think you need to talk to him and figure out what's going on.

55:42 Adam Adam, I have a question.

55:43 Adam Yes.

55:43 Drew An interesting question. Now, do you think that we could sort of derive anything or any conclusions from the kind of job the guy is doing? In other words, you think the guy, and it's just speculation, the guy that's a two-time-a-month sex guy is a guy that's going to kind of work in a warehouse and kind of glide through life, as opposed to the guy whose metronome is going rapidly and he's out driving, you know, working hard. Do you know what I mean?

56:10 Adam Do those things correlate?

56:12 Adam Well, it's an interesting point. I looked at it the other way, but you may have a point looking at it this way, and certainly Drew, who is a man of boundless passion and a white-collar man who doesn't know the meaning of the word knock-off at the end of the day. There is no end of the day. It just keeps going into a new day for this man of passion.

56:35 Drew The metronome keeps going.

56:35 Adam The driven man of passion.

56:37 Caller That's right.

56:38 Adam I would have normally said that the blue-collar guys would be the guys who would have a little faster sexual metabolism than the white-collar guys.

56:49 Drew I'll tell you, the blue-collar guys have a little more aggression. They're a little charged up with that, but it's a different thing than the metronome.

56:56 Adam No, I think you may be right in the sense that it's almost like there's a perception that blue-collar guys are tougher than white-collar guys, but the reality is, is white-collar guys probably stay in better shape, work out more, and are actually physically stronger oftentimes than blue-collar guys. But the blue-collar guys are more aggressive. And maybe it's the same thing sexually. Like the blue-collar guys are the guys who do the cat calls, the blue-collar guys are the guys that are going to the strip clubs, but the white-collar guys are the driven A-type personalities who are actually just humping like savages.

57:36 Drew Take care of business.

57:38 Adam One could argue that a lot of the reason these guys are making money driving nice cars and living in nice places is just in the never-ending pursuit of Puntang.

57:47 Drew Well, that's not exactly what I'm supposed to say.

57:50 Adam One could make that argument.

57:51 Drew But you could make that argument, but the fact is that...

57:52 Adam Many a scholar has made that argument. Many a scholar.

57:55 Drew The force of will, the life force within us affects many areas of our life. You know what I'm saying?

58:00 Adam Right, and Drew, there's no real separation between your zest for life and your passion.

58:07 Drew That's right.

58:09 Adam You're sort of, you're a guy who looks forward, who moves forward, and when you work, that's how you work, and when you eat, that's how you eat, and when you love...

58:22 Caller That's how you love.

58:25 Drew Yeah, that's right. That's right.

58:27 Adam Because Drew is a man of passion, who is, what was that creepy word? He is also a sensual man, a man of great sensuality. So you don't do, it's sort of like when you take these, when you take these, I don't know, Richard Branson types or something, you get the feeling like whatever, if they're starting an airline, they're 110 percent. If they're flying a dirigible around the world, they're 110 percent. And if they're buying a chick, they're 110 percent.

58:55 Drew Right.

58:56 Adam Yeah. I'm going to go with that. And a guy who wants to have a bong load, set his life, controls the warehouse.

59:04 Drew Yeah.

59:04 Adam Like he's a little bit on autopilot.

59:06 Caller Yeah.

59:07 Adam But Drew, maybe we're making too much of this because still they're the guys who just like to hump and the guys that don't, and they seem to be able to turn that on and turn that off sort of regardless of what they're doing or what their income is.

59:20 Drew I agree, of course. And so we were just sort of speculating out loud. Let's get back to calls.

59:24 Adam But it's interesting. It's interesting.

59:26 Drew To you and me, it's nobody else listening. So anyway, is this thing on?

59:29 Adam Ray doesn't, Renee doesn't need to talk to, I mean does need to talk to this guy and find out what the deal is.

59:35 Drew What the facts are.

59:36 Adam All right.

59:37 Drew And by the way, if he's a two time a monther and she's a twice a weeker, he needs to kind of step it up a bit on her behalf.

59:43 Adam Which he can.

59:44 Drew That's right.

59:46 Adam James.

59:46 Drew Weird. They don't do that. It's weird.

59:48 Adam 23. James. James has been on hold for 55 minutes.

59:55 Drew Oh great.

59:56 Adam Says, he and his dad both have crooked penises.

59:59 Drew Good times.

1:00:00 Adam Dad had corrective surgery.

1:00:03 Drew Well, Peyronie's, you know, a sort of, there's a certain percentage of Peyronie's that's not acquired. It's just sort of in you. And that man, I wonder if he's one of those cases.

1:00:12 Adam What do you mean not acquired?

1:00:14 Drew Well, my understanding is there's an acquired Peyronie's, meaning it just sort of happens from repetitive injury or that sort of thing, just repetitive use. And there's others that just sort of find penises.

1:00:25 Adam How many joint related injuries can you have? Any repetitive injuries?

1:00:29 Drew Well, you know, when you're working at a certain way and over vigorously.

1:00:33 Adam Oh really? Yeah. I thought we had guys calling in every night saying, I think I curved my door.

1:00:39 Caller Can you tell them it's not?

1:00:41 Drew It's not usually that. You have to really, you have to really, you know.

1:00:45 Adam Well, but hold on, Drew, most guys who have a bent penis, 99% of them have, it just grows out of the ground that way.

1:00:54 Drew Yeah. I mean, it could be some sort of minor competitive injury, perhaps if they're not aware of what they were doing. But yes, for the most part, it just goes that way.

1:01:02 Adam Right. So if it just goes that way, but if it's bad enough to be genetic.

1:01:06 Drew Well, if it's bad enough to need a surgery and to affect function, that makes me think more genetic.

1:01:11 Adam And Drew, there's a lot of things that just go a certain way that have nothing to do with being passed on genetically, right?

1:01:18 Drew Yes, of course. We talked to the girl earlier with the lip asymmetry.

1:01:22 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Well, she may want to take a look at mom and grandma.

1:01:26 Drew No, no.

1:01:27 Adam You know, just to play it safe. I would. All right. So if your dad had corrective surgery on his penis and yours is bent as well, why don't you ask your dad for a referral?

1:01:39 Drew Exactly.

1:01:41 Adam Let's talk to Anna. Anna?

1:01:46 Yes.

1:01:46 Adam You're 16?

1:01:48 Caller Yes.

1:01:48 Adam What's up?

1:01:50 Caller Okay. So I have this one really good guy friend and I liked him. And I think he liked me too but we never really like discussed it. But I could always tell that like we held flirted. And we oftentimes cut class together. And it started kind of leading to more and more. And then one time we just went to my house and we were watching TV and we got into wrestling because he's on the wrestling team. And then it kind of led up to my room and we got up into my bed. And we were about to get into having sex except he couldn't get a heart on.

1:02:25 Drew Bad times.

1:02:26 Guest What's the question?

1:02:28 Caller So I was wondering now, he got a little bit weird about it and I can understand that he's embarrassed and like, you know, he's trying to be a tough guy and then all of a sudden he can't get a heart on. And I just don't know how to approach him now because I'd rather we just kind of forget the whole situation and go back to being good friends. But I don't know how to talk to him anymore. Like I don't know what to say. Do I say, hey, there's no big whoop he couldn't get a heart on?

1:02:51 Drew No, I don't think that's going to work. But why don't you want to now go further with the relationship?

1:02:56 Caller I do, but okay, what happened was that I asked one of my friends to basically see what was on his mind. And he said that his past relationship, I like knew everything about it. And his ex-girlfriend went completely psycho on him. Like the security guards had to pull her off of him. So he said that he didn't want anything like that to happen between me and him.

1:03:16 Drew You know, you're not that kind of person.

1:03:20 Caller No, I wouldn't like, he doesn't want to ruin the relationship, the friendship that we have now.

1:03:24 Drew No, no, stop, stop with that. Don't believe it.

1:03:26 Caller But I think that's an excuse.

1:03:28 Drew That's an excuse, exactly. Here's my concern. This is a guy that may need chaotic women in his life. And you may actually be doing him a favor by getting involved with him if you're a sane person and really kind of bringing him along. That's probably why, by the way, he had difficulty being intimate with you. He needs that kind of craziness in order to sort of feel okay about being sexual. I would go back and give another shot. I would.

1:03:50 Caller How could I ask him about it?

1:03:52 Adam Wait a minute. Hold on a second. Let me thumb her melon for a second, Drew. This guy you've known for how many years?

1:04:02 Caller This would be my third year.

1:04:04 Adam And you've always kind of had a crush on him? Yes.

1:04:08 Caller Not until my junior year in high school, which is this year.

1:04:11 Adam You knew him for two years and had no feelings about him? You didn't even think he was cute?

1:04:15 Caller I thought he was good looking and stuff like that, but he's one of the prettiest boys in our school, so a lot of girls liked him, so I kind of ignored it.

1:04:24 Adam That's having a crush.

1:04:26 Caller Yeah, I think that.

1:04:27 Adam By the way, if you're denying you have a crush on somebody.

1:04:31 Drew It's so interesting to listen to how women speak even. Did you hear how she described how they got into their sexual encounter? It's like we're watching TV and then we ended up wrestling, and then something happened that we went to the bedroom, and something happened that we started having sex supposed to. I was into this guy, we were moving it along, it felt good. It's bizarre. Then the whole thing with the crush. I can't admit that I had a crush on him. You had a crush on him. It's fine. Relax. It's good.

1:04:55 Adam It's fine. You're supposed to do when you're 16, you're supposed to hang out with good looking guys and have crushes on them.

1:05:04 Drew They cannot claim their own territory. What's actually happened to them has to happen to them, rather than happen from them.

1:05:14 Adam Well, I think the perception is is that if a woman sort of takes the reins and sits in the driver's seat and says, I'm into this guy and I'm trying to move it along, then she gets the slut label.

1:05:26 Drew That's ridiculous. That's other women giving her that label, by the way. Not men.

1:05:29 Adam If she just gets caught up in his current, then somehow it happened to her.

1:05:34 Drew Right, right. But again, it's other women that get judged. Adam is getting too heavy. Adam.

1:05:39 Adam Carolla.

1:05:40 Drew Adam.

1:05:41 Caller Carolla.

1:05:43 Drew Okay, I feel better.

1:05:44 Adam Okay. So, Anna, you've had a crush on the guy for a long time. He started, seemed like he started to notice you. You end up going back to your place. You do a little wrestling. You end up in the bedroom. And what happens? Are your clothes off?

1:05:59 Caller Yeah.

1:06:00 Adam You're naked.

1:06:01 Caller Yeah.

1:06:02 Adam And he's naked, too.

1:06:04 Caller Yeah.

1:06:05 Adam And are you a virgin or not? Yes. You are a virgin.

1:06:09 Drew How old are you?

1:06:10 Caller I'm 16.

1:06:11 Adam 16. And you...

1:06:13 Drew That's a blessing.

1:06:14 Adam It's a blessing.

1:06:15 Drew Blessing that his penis did get hurt.

1:06:17 Adam You attempt to arouse him, but it doesn't work.

1:06:20 Caller Yeah.

1:06:21 Adam Okay.

1:06:23 Caller He got nervous.

1:06:24 Drew All right. Here's my recommendation. Start dating this guy. Actually go out with him. If he's interested. Don't worry about the sex. Yeah. Don't worry about the sex. Don't push. If he is not interested, that'll be obvious. He won't want to reciprocate and date and take you out. But I think you develop a relationship with him. You put the sex part too far ahead of everything else. Try to have a relationship. If you can't, then that's your answer. Don't.

1:06:48 Adam I think she has a feeling like this guy's not really that into her, but he was willing to make an exception for an afternoon, although his penis didn't participate.

1:06:55 Drew A mitzvah. A mitzvah. A blessing. If that's where he's at, then good. You don't want to lose your virginity in that situation. All right.

1:07:01 Adam So, Anna, it's good that you kept your virginity that way.

1:07:05 Drew You've got your wits about you with this whole thing, okay?

1:07:07 Adam Anna, are you good looking?

1:07:11 Caller I hate when you ask these questions. I consider myself good looking, yeah.

1:07:15 Adam You have other guys interested in you?

1:07:17 Caller Yeah.

1:07:18 Adam Well, maybe the big man on campus isn't what you need right now. Maybe you need just a good guy who will treat you right. You know what I'm saying?

1:07:30 Drew Slow it down.

1:07:31 Adam Yeah. I don't know. I know the guy's humiliated a little bit, but I just don't, he's known her for two years, Drew, two or three years.

1:07:38 Drew It's a little suspicious, but yeah, a little worrisome.

1:07:40 Adam He's not, you know, he's not that into her.

1:07:43 Drew He's not declared himself. I agree. Guy seems like it's suspicious for that anyway.

1:07:49 Adam All right.

1:07:51 Drew Break time.

1:07:52 Adam Break time. Ooh, here's one.

1:07:56 Adam Amber.

1:07:57 Yes.

1:07:57 Adam You're 20?

1:07:59 Caller I'm sorry?

1:08:00 Adam You're 20 years old?

1:08:01 Caller Yes, I am.

1:08:02 Adam Your boyfriend's downward curving penis makes it impossible to orgasm?

1:08:07 Caller Yes. Nice.

1:08:09 Adam Makes it impossible for you to orgasm?

1:08:10 Caller For me. He actually doesn't either, but.

1:08:14 Drew Why doesn't he?

1:08:15 Adam Whoa, hold on.

1:08:16 Drew OK. OK.

1:08:17 Adam Drew, he's, I would have killed myself when I was 11, by the way. And the downward, the downward, Drew.

1:08:25 Drew Downward hurts.

1:08:26 Adam Let me ask you something.

1:08:27 Drew Yeah.

1:08:27 Adam Downward curving penis, although it's not a flattering direction to curve as a penis, I think it make it actually makes it look bigger than the upward curving. What do you think of that?

1:08:40 Drew No, no, no, no.

1:08:42 Adam I do.

1:08:43 Drew Really? Well, you know, you know, distance is better than I, but.

1:08:45 Adam I do.

1:08:45 Drew I think it's sort of, it's sort of it's a sad penis and I know it's a sad penis. Yeah, it's looking down. That automatically takes a little bit of length away from it.

1:08:54 Adam No, I know. I know it's not a jovial penis.

1:08:58 Drew But it's not declaring itself.

1:09:00 Adam I think it physically, I think it physically looks bigger.

1:09:04 Drew Okay.

1:09:05 Adam Because you're looking at the top side, the dorsal side of the joint.

1:09:08 Drew Oh, so you're from the man's eye view.

1:09:11 Adam Oh, I'm just saying in general, I think if you take a popsicle stick and you bend it down a couple of inches and stick it to the front of you and take one and bend it up a couple of inches, the one that's bending down is actually going to look longer. Like if a car hood bent up, I think the front of the car would look shorter than if it bends down.

1:09:31 Drew All right.

1:09:32 Adam Nice.

1:09:32 Drew You're good about the counting. All right. Yeah.

1:09:34 Adam Thanks, buddy. We'll take a little break. We'll get back with Amber and the downward-facing dog with the penis after this. Hey, everybody. Full show, we like to call Loveline. My name's Adam, friends know me as Ace.

1:10:02 Adam And that's Dr. Drew.

1:10:04 Adam Dr. Drew is in New York City. Why is he there? Engineer Chris?

1:10:10 Guest Because somebody dropped a nickel.

1:10:12 Adam How come?

1:10:13 Guest Because somebody dropped a nickel.

1:10:14 Adam Come again?

1:10:15 Guest Because somebody dropped a nickel.

1:10:17 Adam Two more times?

1:10:17 Guest Because somebody dropped a nickel.

1:10:19 Caller Because somebody dropped a nickel.

1:10:21 Adam That's right. Engineer Chris. See, that's how it works. Twenty-seven takes a couple breaks ago. We were able to cobble that baby together. Sounds clean. Good take, buddy. Sounds good.

1:10:33 Guest Thanks, man.

1:10:33 Adam And again, do you got a reel? Do you got a reel going? You got a tape?

1:10:37 Guest Oh, uh, not yet, but I'll put one together.

1:10:40 Adam Get a little air check going.

1:10:41 Drew Okay.

1:10:41 Adam I'll pass it around. See if I can get you something.

1:10:44 Drew You know people? I do. Oh, cool.

1:10:45 Adam I know folks in radio. I know the Grease Man.

1:10:49 Adam The Smuggy Smuggy.

1:10:53 Adam I know Likus.

1:10:54 Drew Blah, blah.

1:10:56 Adam You know Howard? I know Howard. I don't know what he sounds like, though. All right. So, you know, you give me that thing. I'll spread them around.

1:11:04 Caller All right, dude.

1:11:06 Adam Who were we talking about? Oh, downward, downward facing penile.

1:11:10 Drew Down dog.

1:11:11 Adam Amber? Yes. Okay. So, you.

1:11:15 Guest Yeah.

1:11:15 Adam Boyfriend has a penis that curves downward. You don't have an orgasm through intercourse.

1:11:22 Guest No.

1:11:23 Adam And neither does he.

1:11:24 Guest No. All right.

1:11:25 Adam So, here's the thing. You would probably not have an orgasm through intercourse anyway.

1:11:31 Drew Well, but the question, though, is does he, does the pain from the curvature require her to have him stop, make him stop, so he doesn't have an orgasm either? See what I'm saying?

1:11:41 Caller No, no. Well, he says he doesn't have an orgasm because he takes a lot of supplements, like a form of, oh, what's it called, like for weightlifting, creatine. Yes, stuff like that. So, he says it's really hard for him.

1:11:57 Drew He must be taking steroids.

1:11:59 Caller Yes, that's what it was, steroids.

1:12:01 Drew Well, yeah, well, steroids make him make everything not work.

1:12:04 Adam So, he's taking that thing.

1:12:06 Adam You probably haven't heard of it because it's not been the news very often. It's a thing that weight people take sometimes to make them things bigger. It's called the, what's it called?

1:12:20 Drew Steroids.

1:12:21 Adam Steroids. Oh, yeah, that's it. Have you heard?

1:12:24 Drew Yeah.

1:12:24 Adam Have you heard of that?

1:12:26 Drew Yeah.

1:12:26 Adam OK. So, he's taking steroids, you call them, Amber?

1:12:32 Caller Well, I mean, he says that he doesn't, but I don't know, he says he takes supplements, but not steroids. But anyway, so that's supposedly why he can't orgasm, but I don't care about him, I care about me.

1:12:43 Adam Yeah.

1:12:44 Drew That's a nice, that's a great relationship.

1:12:46 Adam Yeah, you gotta have kids.

1:12:49 Drew So your question is why, what is it?

1:12:52 Caller Why can't I?

1:12:53 Drew Why can't, have you ever had sex with anybody else?

1:12:55 Caller Yes, I have.

1:12:56 Drew And you were able to orgasm with other guys?

1:12:58 Caller Yes.

1:12:59 Drew During intercourse, during intercourse.

1:13:01 Caller Yes.

1:13:02 Adam All right.

1:13:02 Drew Well, that's not a fun, it's not a funny question. Most women can't during intercourse, right?

1:13:08 Adam Amber, you must be hot. Yeah.

1:13:14 Caller Um, I don't know. You could say that. Maybe, maybe.

1:13:17 Caller What do you look like?

1:13:19 Caller Um, I am about 5'5 and I'm a redhead.

1:13:25 Adam So far we're just pushing. What do you got? I got, I got a little leather down there, but keep going.

1:13:31 Caller Leather? No, I'm not going to keep going.

1:13:33 Adam You're not?

1:13:34 Caller No, everyone's going to know who I am.

1:13:37 Adam Okay. Hold on a second. All right. Now that's, that's enough of her. What a pain in the ass. Well, the fact is- Listen, who cares? Break up with the musclehead, man.

1:13:47 Drew All right, here's the deal. She doesn't realize that other women don't orgasm with intercourse because she's experienced something she assumes the rest of the women do. It's unusual to have an orgasm with intercourse, particularly her age. The fact that she could do it with other men put her way ahead of the curve. The fact that he's got sort of an abnormal curvature may make it uncomfortable for her, and obviously mechanically, therefore, difficult to have orgasm. So there you go.

1:14:11 Adam If you ain't having an orgasm as a dude, I mean, even if you're on the juice, you should be able to get one off at 2022, shouldn't you?

1:14:19 Drew When they're on lots of it, sometimes they really shut down.

1:14:23 Adam Wow.

1:14:23 Drew Yeah, they really can shut down.

1:14:25 Adam Wow.

1:14:26 Drew Bad times.

1:14:27 Adam Yeah.

1:14:28 Adam All right.

1:14:29 Adam Let's see.

1:14:30 Adam Let's talk to Amanda, who's 16. Amanda?

1:14:34 Caller Hello?

1:14:35 Adam What's happening, baby doll?

1:14:37 Caller Nothing. Oh, you don't hear my problem?

1:14:40 Caller Sure.

1:14:41 Caller Okay. Well, like earlier in the show, someone called me and they were talking about how it's like your dad leaves you or something like that when you're younger than, I don't know, you like grow up and you like act differently or something like that. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Well, like my dad left when I was six. He just like abandoned my family.

1:15:00 Drew And it's pretty traumatizing for you, huh?

1:15:02 Caller Oh, it's that's like, I don't remember him at all. Like nothing like, oh, it sucks so bad. And I just hate him so bad for it. Cause I think that's so cowardly.

1:15:11 Drew It's so interesting. You hear her voice. She sort of fades in and out of like a six year old quality.

1:15:15 Adam A little bit, a little bit.

1:15:17 Adam All right.

1:15:18 Adam And listen, go ahead and hate your parents, by the way, when they do bad things.

1:15:21 Adam That's fine.

1:15:22 Drew Yeah. So now, but the problem is, well, now the problem is for the young child is that if they hate the parent, they hate themselves because they, they start associating, they sort of, what they, what they associate with the object, they associate with themselves. So they split internally into a good self and a bad self. And the bad self is that hated part of herself. You have to learn to, unfortunately, it's okay to hate him. It's not a bad thing to hate him, but you've got to learn to sort of accept more fully the fact that he's a person weak with all the foibles of being a human being. And it made him do bad things and sort of understand him more completely, rather than as a hated, all bad person.

1:16:00 Caller Yeah, well, like I've tried to get in touch with him, but he'll like never call me back and stuff like that.

1:16:04 Drew No, no, I don't mean the real person. I mean just learn to come to terms with-

1:16:07 Adam Don't reach out, maybe.

1:16:08 Drew Because he's gonna be a bad guy. There's no doubt about it. But learn to come to terms with that, you know, people are sort of complex and do crappy things and don't hate yourself because he's in a hole.

1:16:20 Caller Oh, yeah. Anyway, it kind of goes on more fun. But I don't know. So ever since then, like all the guys that I like, I've noticed they're like, they're just like my brothers. It's so weird. They remind me of my brothers and it kind of weirds me out. I don't know what the hell that is. All right.

1:16:37 Drew Well, it makes sense that that's the only male figure you've had in your life, right? And so, you know, that's your sort of comfort zone with men is what it feels like.

1:16:44 Caller Is that weird though?

1:16:45 Drew No, what's weird to you is that you start evoking feelings about your brother. It's not weird. Whoever you're attracted to is who you're attracted to. They're not your brother. It's weird that feelings about your brother emerge and you can kind of put those aside and realize that you're not with your brother. Unless you're going to tell us that something happened between you and your brother.

1:17:02 Caller Oh, no. They've been so great growing up. They're like the best brothers ever. All right.

1:17:06 Drew So, naturally enough, that's a good thing then that you're attracted to guys like your brother.

1:17:10 Caller Yeah. I don't know. I just thought that was kind of weird.

1:17:13 Drew No, it's a good thing. Listen, humans are weird in general. We sort of respond to these very primitive urges. We think of ourselves as very rational creatures. We want to understand everything. But the reality is we're driven by these very primitive mechanisms.

1:17:26 Adam Mm-hmm.

1:17:28 Adam All right, Amanda.

1:17:29 Drew Adam.

1:17:30 Adam Carolla. Adam. Carolla.

1:17:33 Drew Adam's in the jacuzzi masturbating.

1:17:36 Adam Here's the thing. I think women have this much more so than men do, but that feeling of having to reach out to the person that screwed them over time and time again many years ago. And then the sort of further disappointment when the guy doesn't come through. Women have that reenactment gene.

1:17:55 Drew Yeah, big time. Men do too, but women do, yeah.

1:17:58 Adam Everyone has it, but women really have it. Like, you know, I sort of, my family was sort of out of it, to say the least. I just wrote them off and I don't really, I don't talk to them too much. And I do when I have to, but in general, just kind of stay away from them.

1:18:16 Drew You sure do talk about them a lot though.

1:18:18 Adam I do, I do, cause it's good fodder for the radio.

1:18:21 Drew But is that what you talk about when we're by ourselves talking on the phone?

1:18:25 Adam How dare you, how dare you, how dare you bring that out on the radio. That was nothing short of an attack. How dare you, I'm going to do my double pump, how dare you, I haven't done it in a while. How dare you, how dare you!

1:18:43 Caller See the, see the double pump?

1:18:45 Drew I felt it.

1:18:48 Adam Yeah, but I think it's more the chick thing that keeps going back and keeps getting hand slapped by the same guy. Forget it, he's a bad guy, he ain't into you, but that doesn't mean because you're bad, it just means he's a bad person. And here's what your job now is, your job is to have such a great life that you never have to think about the guy again.

1:19:09 Drew There you go.

1:19:10 Adam And eventually, 10 years from now, when you make a ton of money and you're having a great life and you have beautiful kids, he's gonna wanna come around and reconnect and you tell him to kiss your hairy black ass.

1:19:20 Drew Yeah.

1:19:21 Adam Thank you. All right, let's see, let's see, let's talk to Rachel. Rachel?

1:19:29 Caller Hello?

1:19:29 Adam You're 18?

1:19:30 Caller Yeah. Um, I've kind of got this problem where it's hard for me to get off unless if I've got some pain when I'm having sex.

1:19:43 Drew Okay, and go ahead.

1:19:47 Caller All right.

1:19:48 Drew Did, did, did, were you, uh-oh, did you hear that?

1:19:53 Adam No, did you hear the smoke detector?

1:19:55 Drew I think I might have.

1:19:56 Adam Well, she is calling from Bakersfield.

1:19:58 Drew Give it about 30 seconds there. In any event, uh-

1:20:01 Adam Bakersfield, by the way, has a program that if you have a smoke detector that's not chirping because there's a low battery in it, they will actually, the city will provide you with one.

1:20:12 Drew Oh, nice. That's nice.

1:20:17 Caller I don't hear it.

1:20:18 Drew Uh, but did you have any sort of physical mishandling when you were growing up?

1:20:23 Caller When what?

1:20:24 Drew Did anybody strike you when you were growing up?

1:20:27 Caller Oh, I mean, yeah, I've had my share, but you know.

1:20:32 Drew Well, that's where that comes from.

1:20:33 Adam Sure, she's calling from Bakersfield.

1:20:35 Drew Of course. She's had her share of beatings. But the fact is that when you have that happen growing up, think of it as sort of burning out your arousal centers. It shatters your ability to sort of regulate those systems when you're growing up, and that makes you need to experience higher levels of arousal in order to feel aroused. Makes sense?

1:20:55 Caller Oh, okay.

1:20:56 Adam Well, Rachel, let's look, let's focus on a more purposeful conversation. Do you have any kids?

1:21:05 Caller No.

1:21:06 Adam Okay. Do you have a boyfriend?

1:21:10 Guest Not at the moment.

1:21:11 Adam All right. What are you doing at the moment?

1:21:14 Caller I'm in my room smoking a cigarette.

1:21:17 Adam Okay. And then when you said not at the moment, and I said at the moment, I sort of meant like just in general, what's going on? You're going to school? You're working?

1:21:30 Caller Both. I go to school and I work and just...

1:21:34 Adam Junior college? Junior college, Rachel?

1:21:36 Caller I don't know.

1:21:37 Caller I...

1:21:39 Caller High school?

1:21:42 Caller You can say that. I don't really... Let's see, uh... Can't...

1:21:51 Adam What country are you from, Rachel?

1:21:55 Caller It's hard to explain. It's like...

1:21:56 Adam All right, do you...

1:21:57 Drew Hard to explain what country she's from.

1:21:58 Adam What continent is she from? Rachel, what... Do you go to high school?

1:22:04 Guest Yeah.

1:22:05 Adam You do go to high school?

1:22:06 Caller Yeah. On my last year.

1:22:08 Adam On your last year. Is it regular high school or is it the little one in the corner with the ashtrays?

1:22:16 Caller I go to regular high school.

1:22:18 Adam Regular high school. All right. So you're 18, so you'll be graduating soon. Are you going to graduate?

1:22:25 Caller Yeah.

1:22:25 Adam Okay. So you graduate in just a few weeks, right? Okay. And then what?

1:22:32 Caller Just, you know, planning to go to college.

1:22:36 Adam Junior college?

1:22:39 Caller Yep.

1:22:40 Adam Okay. Don't waste your time, Rachel. Don't waste everyone's time. Don't bother with junior college. How about you get a job, you get some money, you get some things? You know what I'm saying?

1:22:52 Drew I've lost track of this conversation. I must have.

1:22:54 Adam I have too. Rachel, don't go to junior college.

1:22:59 Adam Adam Corolla, Adam.

1:23:02 Adam By the way, these are your peers, engineer Chris. This is the folks you have to rub elbows with.

1:23:08 Adam Cool.

1:23:09 Adam Yeah, ends up being a Tart on Tart F Fest over there.

1:23:14 Adam Okay.

1:23:15 Adam Thank you. Rachel, here's the plan. Don't get pregnant. Okay. All right. I'm going to answer for you.

1:23:22 Drew Rachel, by the way, sounds very depressed.

1:23:24 Adam Whatever you want to add on. Rachel, are you very depressed?

1:23:29 Drew Yes.

1:23:29 Adam Too depressed to even answer.

1:23:33 Drew Yeah. I actually lost track of what she was calling about.

1:23:40 Adam She likes to get beat on when she has sex, because I guess her family beat on her a little bit.

1:23:46 Drew They beat on her, so there we went and explained that. And then I heard a lot of other things I couldn't track, but she sounded profoundly depressed, and she might want to look into that.

1:23:54 Adam And angry too, by the way.

1:23:56 Drew Oh yeah. Because they... That guy they called earlier, they asked about being physically abused in childhood, isn't that okay? Well, this is how you end up. You're angry at everybody, because everyone's coming at you with a whip as far as you're concerned.

1:24:07 Adam Well, here's how I can always tell people are pissed off. It's the Three Mississippi Rule.

1:24:14 Drew Yeah.

1:24:15 Guest Where you go like...

1:24:15 Drew That's the question.

1:24:16 Guest Yeah.

1:24:16 Adam What are you doing right now? One Mississippi, two Mississippi. Working.

1:24:22 Drew Yeah.

1:24:22 Adam And where do you work? One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi.

1:24:27 Caller The store.

1:24:28 Drew The other thing that abuse does to people is it makes them grandiose. It makes them responsible for the world, responsible for all the bad things that happen to them. A recovering guy, once I heard him say it in public, he went... He said, I'm really... I feel like crap. I'm not much, but I'm all I ever think about. That's what happens with abuse.

1:24:45 Adam Yeah. All right. So boys are going to be a long life for Rachel. High school, smoking in a room, heading for junior college.

1:24:54 Guest Oh, oh, oh. All right.

1:24:57 Drew Here we go. Taking a break. Come on. We got to break it down here.

1:25:00 Adam I would just love to... I would love to ask...

1:25:03 Drew It's downer night. It's just downer night.

1:25:05 Adam No, it's not downer night. Only Rachel's been a full-blooded bummer.

1:25:09 Drew Adam, at least we have that way to break through.

1:25:11 Adam No, I'm saying, Rachel, please do something.

1:25:16 Drew Yes.

1:25:16 Adam Please do something. Put down the cigarettes and start exercising or get some therapy or talk to a counselor.

1:25:22 Drew Find something that makes you feel like you're doing something worthwhile.

1:25:25 Adam Get a job. Donate your time at the animal shelter. Do something that makes you feel good, that gives you worth.

1:25:32 Drew Here we go.

1:25:33 Adam And junior college, you ain't going to find it there. All you're going to find is more depressed, horrible student stoners wasting their lives away and complaining about the man.

1:25:43 Adam Really, here's the thing.

1:25:45 Adam The only people they should let in a junior college are the people who don't want to go to junior college.

1:25:50 Drew People go to university.

1:25:51 Adam The people actually want to go to junior college shouldn't be allowed in. Those are just horrible high school students who are looking for a 13th grade and not to have their stepmom on their back.

1:26:00 Drew Nice. All right.

1:26:02 Adam Please, Drew, please let's end this junior college and let's get Adam Carolla to replace Marco Polo in the swimming pool. Take a quick break. Engineer Chris, by the way, still not sure if he's graduating in two and a half weeks. He's got to look into it.

1:26:16 Drew He's got to look into it.

1:26:19 Adam We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:26:26 Drew We'll be right back.

1:26:27 Caller Please hold.

1:26:38 Caller Loveline.

1:26:40 Adam I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. He's in New York City tonight. Why engineer, Chris?

1:26:47 Guest Because somebody dropped a nickel.

1:26:49 Adam All right. We have to listen as clean as it would have liked.

1:26:51 Drew Oh, no. Scared.

1:26:52 Adam Why engineer, Chris?

1:26:54 Guest Because somebody dropped a nickel.

1:26:56 Caller That's what I thought.

1:26:58 Drew All right.

1:26:58 Adam You ready to rock here, Drew?

1:26:59 Drew Here we go.

1:27:01 Adam Gary's nipples get sore and swollen when he works out, sometimes even lactate. Why, he cries. Gary?

1:27:09 Caller Yeah.

1:27:10 Adam Lactating, really?

1:27:12 Guest Yeah.

1:27:13 Caller I don't know if that's what it is, but stuff comes out. Stuff comes out, yeah.

1:27:17 Drew Yeah. Are you on a medication?

1:27:20 Caller No, nothing, nothing. I was taking some supplements when I was working out, like creatine and stuff, but it was nothing, no medication or nothing.

1:27:31 Drew Do you smoke a lot of pot?

1:27:32 Caller I used to a lot.

1:27:34 Drew A lot. When did you stop?

1:27:37 Caller A year ago.

1:27:39 Drew So I suppose it's possibly still related to that, but not typically. I would suggest you do bring it up with a doctor for two reasons. In young men your age, there can be something called a prolactinoma, a prolactin screening tumor, the pituitary gland that happens once in a while. Also thyroid problems can cause this, and then nothing. It could be just nothing. But yes, I see. Anyway.

1:28:01 Adam Yeah. Okay.

1:28:02 Adam So go to the doctor because this could be, I mean, guys aren't supposed to be lactating, and it could be something more important.

1:28:09 Drew Right.

1:28:10 Adam Christina here is 16. She called two years ago.

1:28:13 Caller Hi.

1:28:14 Adam Her mom heard the call and sent her to boarding school.

1:28:17 Caller Yeah.

1:28:19 Adam Why did you call two years ago?

1:28:21 Caller I had had sex and unprotected, and I was wondering the chances of pregnancy. And who would have known? My mom was listening and came into my room, actually, while I was in the middle of the call, and she heard everything. So about a month later, she kind of was doing drugs, and I got sent to Lawson's Penis, which I know that's where Dr. Drew works, and I was there for about two weeks, and got sent to boarding school for 19 months, all girls.

1:28:54 Adam Wow.

1:28:55 Caller Yeah, it was a rough, rough two years.

1:28:59 Adam How was the all-girl boarding school?

1:29:02 Caller Oh, gosh.

1:29:03 Caller It was crazy. It was just like one big house, it was just one big house with 58 girls living in it. We all just, oh, man.

1:29:13 Adam And so are you better now?

1:29:15 Caller Oh, God, yeah. My life is amazing. Like, I'm completely sober. My mom and I get along. I've been home for about a month now, so, and things have just been going amazing.

1:29:26 Drew Right. That's an amazing, it's a great story.

1:29:29 Adam Maybe it's good, so it's good that your mom heard the phone call.

1:29:31 Drew Oh, absolutely. It's a good thing.

1:29:32 Caller Yeah, I mean, it was a blessing in disguise. At first, I was, you know, I ran away for the night. Actors could heard it, and it was just terrible, and I was doing so much drugs, and there was a lot more than just sex, you know, so.

1:29:47 Drew Right.

1:29:48 Adam Now, now, first day of spring is kids, for sure.

1:29:52 Drew Oh, absolutely.

1:29:52 Adam You're just thinking about it before, but now it's game on.

1:29:55 Caller I just want to say, you guys both are so amazing. Like, you guys are great.

1:30:00 Adam Thanks, Christina.

1:30:02 Caller Okay, so when I got sent away two years ago, I was like really ugly and pretty fat, and I just was not like very attractive, and I go away and I lost a lot of weight, and I just changed a lot, and like, I don't want to sound like conceited, but I get advice like freaking everyone wants to only be my friend for the way I look, and it's so lonely, and I hate it. I feel like I have almost no friends to care about.

1:30:31 Adam Wait a minute, wait a second, girls want to be friends with you because of the way you look?

1:30:36 Caller A lot of them too. Well, they think if I was in a whole girls' boarding school that I'm floating both boats these days, but.

1:30:42 Drew Who am I?

1:30:45 Adam Are you extraordinarily beautiful, or are you just not fat anymore?

1:30:49 Caller I don't think I'm that great looking, but I guess people compare to the way I used to look, that they.

1:30:55 Adam Yeah, but here's what I'm saying.

1:30:57 Adam Why?

1:30:58 Adam Because people want to be your friend, you have to look at it as, oh, they only want to be my friend because I've lost 25 pounds.

1:31:05 Caller I get like, people call me and they're like, dude, you look so f*****, I want to do it.

1:31:10 Drew You, are we listening to everything, kid, Westwood One?

1:31:15 Caller I don't know.

1:31:18 Adam That's what happens, girls are like, dude, you look so f***** hot, I'd like to be your friend.

1:31:25 Drew I'm not sure that's the case.

1:31:27 Adam I'm not sure that's the case either. I don't really, okay, anyway, here's the thing, Christina, Mazel Tov, you've licked drugs, she's 16, she's been sober for four weeks now, Drew, God bless her, she's moved back home, she's getting along with her mom. Um, let me say this to everybody, stop being so goddamn conceited. If somebody wants to be your friend, maybe they want to be your friend. The world does not revolve around you, everyone doesn't think about you all the time, and you don't have to sort of have a motivation or assign a motivation to everyone who wants something from you or wants to hang out with you. It's a horrible way to go through life, that part where you go, oh yeah, they complimented you, but you know what they really meant, or they only want this because of that, or you know, they only want to hang out with you because you're on the football team, or you're the cheerleader, well who cares? Here's the whole thing, everyone, try to build yourself a life that's attractive. Make yourself a store, and make the storefront get a nice sign and put some nice crap in the mirror, I mean in the window, in the store window. And then people will come in, and then you don't have to go, oh they're only coming in because you got a nice sign.

1:32:47 Drew Right.

1:32:47 Adam Well yeah, that's how it goes. Look your best, act your best, do your best, be interesting, be clever, be smart, be whatever, be athletic, be whatever, and people will be attracted to you, and then you shouldn't blame them for that.

1:33:01 Drew Right. Right.

1:33:02 Adam Okay. Okay. Let's take a little break. Drew, how's your storefront doing buddy?

1:33:07 Drew I need to work on it a little bit I think. Okay.

1:33:10 Adam We'll be right back after this.

1:33:55 Adam Adam.

1:33:57 Drew Corolla.

1:33:58 Adam Yeah.

1:33:58 Drew Adam.

1:34:00 Caller Corolla.

1:34:01 Drew Yes, I feel much better.

1:34:03 Adam All right, Drewski. We'll talk to you tomorrow night, and we'll talk to yous tomorrow night as well. Until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:34:14 Adam This has been Loveline.

1:34:18 Adam The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Monday, May 16, 2005