Episode 1000705221822

6:46 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

6:56 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

7:02 Voiceover This is Loveline.

7:06 Voiceover With Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

7:09 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. And I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LLVE-191. Dr. Drew is a board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. And where's Drew tonight?

7:22 Drew Chicago.

7:23 Adam Chicago. What's going on?

7:25 Drew Where's Waldo?

7:26 Adam What's going on in Chicago?

7:28 Drew I'm speaking at DePaul University. It's cool, very interesting school. You know, we don't have an affiliate in Chicago now. And there's quite an uproar about that. So hopefully soon we will have one.

7:41 Adam Well, they'll get over it.

7:42 Drew No, I'm sure they'll live without it. But we like this town, you know?

7:46 Adam Chicago?

7:47 Drew Yeah.

7:48 Adam Yeah, everyone loves Chicago. No one has a bad thing to say about Chicago. Yeah, I do. What's not to like?

7:53 Drew Exactly.

7:54 Adam And people that are a little chill coming off the lake in the winter, but other than that, everybody, everyone who's from Chicago and lived in Chicago and lives in Chicago just brags about it like it's their son on the football team. Whereas LA is like, any time you talk to anyone from LA that's like they start apologizing. Yeah. Well, yeah, I came down. I moved down here for a job. It was just, they moved me. It was a job. And, you know, I got this chick pregnant and I'm trying to get up to the Bay Area. That's about the best they can say about Los Angeles. About the best you hear is I'm trying to move.

8:36 Right. Right.

8:37 Drew I got stuck.

8:38 Adam No one ever really brags. I get the feeling that people like it. They just don't want to, it's not, it's not cool to say you like Los Angeles. So you go like, you know, you say, oh, the weather's okay, but you know, there's no personality. You say things like that.

8:52 Drew No culture.

8:53 Adam The town has no soul. And yet people-

8:57 Drew Everyone shakes their head, nods their head. Yeah.

8:58 Adam People flock air. Yeah. And even, even look, you could get 10 Angelinos together and they would all just nod their head while somebody just talks smack about the town. Low self-esteem is a town. Whose self-esteem is lower?

9:14 Drew You, as it was said in Spangler, sometimes low self-esteem is just good common sense. In L.A.'s case, yeah.

9:20 Adam Yeah. Yeah. I can't, I can't figure it out. I got to move to another town to find out how much better it is. But it seems like things like public transportation and potholes and traffic and stuff like that is we, I don't think we rank up there with the Chicagos and the San Francisco's.

9:38 Drew By the way, are Travis and Shayna still there?

9:40 Adam Yeah, they're here.

9:41 Drew I thought they planted themselves there last night.

9:43 Adam They didn't. How much belief was Travis smoking, by the way?

9:47 Drew Oh, my God. Crazy.

9:51 Adam What? You know, that's what I was, I was thinking about that when I was driving home.

9:55 Drew No wonder he didn't feel his foot when he broke it.

9:58 Right.

9:59 Adam It was true. What the hell kind of we're talking about the Meet the Barkers who were in here, Travis and Shane, are in here last night. Travis was taking a break every time we took a break and heading out and blowing spleef, right?

10:14 Yeah.

10:16 Adam Now, spleef is the name of his driver.

10:19 Drew What was it? Taking spleef.

10:22 Adam Blowing it, blowing it.

10:23 Yeah.

10:24 Drew Oh, I see.

10:25 Adam Blowing spleef. You get it?

10:26 Drew Oh, yeah. That's very funny.

10:27 Adam How can you screw that joke up? It's so easy. Thank you, buddy. No, he was smoking a little reefer. And only one time, though, did he come back and I could really smell it on him. How did that work, Drew?

10:41 Drew I don't know, but the one time it almost knocked me on my seat.

10:44 Adam Yeah.

10:45 Drew Right.

10:45 Adam Oh, yeah.

10:46 Drew Yeah.

10:46 Adam But he doesn't have a problem, though, so for you, must have brought you back to your days when you played the tambourine for the Strawberry Alarm Clock.

10:55 Drew I heard DOR's music.

10:57 Adam Oh, yeah.

10:58 Drew Just heard it.

10:59 Adam Yeah, that'll do it. I drew, you know, the Strawberry Alarm Clock, no song they sing. No incense peppermint. For that song.

11:09 Drew Yes.

11:10 Adam It's the druggiest song. It's the 60th C druggiest song in the world. Except for, just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in.

11:21 Drew No, I don't remember that one.

11:22 Adam Oh, that's Kenny Rogers in the fifth edition or the something edition. Come on.

11:28 Drew Kenny Rogers.

11:29 Adam Yes. He used to be in like a hippie band.

11:32 Drew Oh my, no way. You don't know? I didn't know that.

11:35 Adam The grove-iest, the grove-iest, 60-iest, drug-iest, counter-culture-iest song in the world.

11:42 It was in the Big Lebowski.

11:44 Drew In what, Anderson?

11:45 The Big Lebowski?

11:46 Oh, wow.

11:47 Drew So you just switched from groove and drugs to alcohol and gambling.

11:51 Adam Here's the thing, by the way, Anderson. You cannot do references with Dr. Drew. You just start piling them up. Like you go, you know that song just, no, I don't. It was in this one. No, I don't know. Oh, the guy who was in that movie was in this movie. No, but before you know it, you have just a huge pile of references that Drew hasn't heard of or seen.

12:12 Drew That I've crapped on.

12:14 Adam No, no, you don't crapped on.

12:14 But if it was in South Park, he'd be in.

12:16 Adam South Park, he'd be in.

12:17 Drew I'd be on it.

12:18 Adam You didn't see the Big Lebowski, huh, Drew?

12:20 Drew I am aware of that film. I did not see it.

12:22 Adam All right.

12:24 Drew What are you gonna do?

12:25 Adam All right, Michelle's gonna find it. We'll take some phone calls. Drew disagrees with your idea that... I don't know what this is. Let's talk to him. Alex?

12:36 Hi. Hey, I love your show, guys. I think you're geniuses.

12:41 Adam Thanks.

12:42 Drew, I disagree a little bit about your ideas about the morning...

12:45 Adam Hold on a second. Michelle, what do you got?

12:47 Caller It's Kenny Rogers in the first edition.

12:49 Adam The first edition.

12:50 Caller Yes.

12:51 Adam Yeah. 68, 69? Just dropped in.

12:55 Caller 66.

12:57 Adam 66. Just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in.

13:01 Caller Yeah.

13:02 Adam Yeah.

13:03 I just dropped in and then parentheses to see what my condition was in.

13:07 Adam It's the grooviest song. It's the druggiest song ever, Drew. Drew, what were you doing? You must know. You've heard that song.

13:14 Drew I probably heard it. I just don't recognize your rendition.

13:17 Adam All right. But let me say something, Drew. And I know we always argue over this kind of stuff because it gets insulting. If I give you the title and I sing it, if I go like, you know, Mary has a little lamb and you're like, no, and I go, Mary has a little, her fleece is white as snow and everywhere the lamb. And you're going, yeah, well, you don't sing it right. That just means you don't know it.

13:39 Drew Yeah, that could be. That could be.

13:41 Adam All right. All right. Alex, go ahead. Dig into Drew.

13:45 Drew Pile on, really.

13:46 Adam Pile on.

13:48 I think you've said that the morning after pill is effective within three days of having sex.

13:53 Drew Yeah, up to five days, up to five days.

13:55 Up to five days. So it would work five days before till five days after ovulation. So basically there's a...

14:00 Drew No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. If you ovulated, you're going to get pregnant. It doesn't work if you've ovulated. So if you ovulate in the window after sex, it works. If you were to have ovulated in the few days after having sex, that's when it works. If you ovulated the day before sex...

14:18 You wouldn't let it implant.

14:20 Drew No, it doesn't work by the implantation. That's not its main mechanism. It no more so than your birth control pill taken daily. That's not how it works.

14:29 If you took a big dose of the birth control pill, it would stop it from implanting and that would be an abortion.

14:34 Drew But if you take the birth control regularly. No, it doesn't do that. No, no, no, no, no. First of all, the birth control pill already is equivalent to a big dose of estrogen and progesterone, right? And it has a theoretical… Can you hear me? Yeah. Yeah. It has a theoretical… All birth control can theoretically interfere with implantation. All birth control. So my point is if you're going to take issue with a theoretical potential of all hormonal contraceptives, then fine, let's get rid of all hormonal contraceptives. But to take aim at this one for which the predominant effect is suppressing ovulation, referring to two New England Journal articles in the last year, the predominant effect is that, why do we take aim at that one? Why not take aim at all contraceptives? And then I can't argue with you. Then you have an argument.

15:23 Adam Yeah. Well, you can still argue, but you're being consistent.

15:26 Drew You're being philosophically consistent then.

15:28 Adam Right.

15:29 Okay. Well, thank you very much.

15:31 Adam All right. People can argue with anything they want because, first off, religious people are dumber than atheists. Let's be honest, everybody. You have to be a little bit stupid to believe that, right? So that's number one.

15:46 Drew One of the time-honored arguments in religion, though, is that you're not supposed to subject it to rational scrutiny. You're not supposed to have faith. And therefore, where does rational scrutiny get involved at all? And that's when it gets very confusing.

16:00 Adam Well, now, so, Drew, you say that the morning after pill just suppresses ovulation.

16:08 Drew I don't say it just, but the overwhelming effect is that. Probably it can impair implantation, probably no more so than any other hormonal contraceptive. And no more so than Celebrex and Vioxx, all these medicines that have been the news for other problems haven't even hit the news yet about its potential to cause abortion.

16:27 Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, well condition, my condition was here.

16:33 Adam Come on, baby.

16:34 Come on, Michelle. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Is that the other one?

16:37 Adam Yeah, that's Incense Peppermint.

16:40 Drew Yeah, okay.

16:41 Adam Michelle, come on, get on that internet and download that song or do something. Oh man, you're going to hear Kenny Rogers like you never heard him before. So Drew, let me just make sure we're all squared away here.

16:52 Drew Go ahead.

16:55 Adam The morning after pill stops or impairs your ability to drop an egg.

17:01 Drew Doesn't let the egg drop. Exactly. If you had dropped the egg at the time you had sex, I'm sorry, you're going to get pregnant. That's why it's only 70 percent effective.

17:10 Adam Right. And how long does the egg hang out once you drop it?

17:14 Drew About a day.

17:15 Adam About a day.

17:16 Drew Sperm hangs out for three days. That's why you got to keep the egg from dropping for that three-day window.

17:21 Caller Ah-ha.

17:23 Drew See?

17:24 Adam That's what it is. I see. Stops that. But if it's already dropped, so you'd have to be pretty much down to that one day.

17:31 Drew I mean, just do the math on it. If it worked by impairing implantation, it would be 100 percent effective. You know what I mean? It should work 100 percent of the time.

17:42 Adam Now, impairing implantation is not letting the sperm get together with the egg, or not letting the egg plant after it's been fertilized.

17:51 Drew Exactly. Not letting it plant in the uterus once the sperm gets to it. And my belief, as many people are, is that the whole life begins at the point at which the sperm hits the egg.

18:01 Adam That's right. And for me, it's when you can use the TiVo remote.

18:04 Drew And use the TiVo remote. Yes, that's right.

18:06 Adam Right. Yeah. It used to be programmed to VCR, but since I couldn't do that, I said I lowered my standards to the TiVo remote.

18:14 Drew Of course.

18:14 Adam Well, all right.

18:16 Drew There wouldn't be a very high population of the continent if it was the VCR issue. Yeah.

18:20 Adam Oh, that would be so nice. Oh, imagine, imagine the utopia we'd be living in, people, if we just dragged a rake over this whole goddamn country.

18:28 Drew Oh, now you're getting weird. You're getting positively weird now.

18:32 Adam All the guys, all those people.

18:35 Drew First, you need to go out in public more. You're gonna need to meet the people a little bit.

18:38 Adam A little room to stretch your elbows a little bit, but you know, the people with the multiple lawsuits, they'd be dads.

18:45 Drew That's not a rake. You're gonna need more than a rake. I guess you got some sort of shovel.

18:49 Adam I'm just talking about just in it, thin out the herd a little bit.

18:54 You know what I'm saying?

18:55 Adam Just thin it out. Just thin it out. We don't need everybody. Carly?

19:00 Yeah.

19:01 Adam You're 17?

19:03 Caller Yep.

19:03 Adam What's up with the jugs?

19:08 Caller About a year ago, I was on birth control, the pill form, and my boobs grew from a small d to a very large double d. And I wanted to go back on it, but I don't want that to happen again. So I was wondering if there's any other kind of birth control that wouldn't make sense.

19:25 Drew There are many dose pills that don't have so much estrogen effect.

19:29 Adam Did they go back down again?

19:30 Yeah, they did.

19:32 Drew Sorry, Adam.

19:33 Adam Yeah. Well, we gotta go. 17.

19:36 Drew They went to boob heaven.

19:38 Adam That's what I like to believe. They went to my grandparents' ranch in Montana, like my dog Rusty.

19:44 Drew In the boob film.

19:45 Adam Yeah. Yeah, plenty of what. Hey, Carly?

19:48 Guest Yeah.

19:49 Adam You gonna go to college?

19:51 Guest Yeah.

19:51 Adam Where are you gonna go?

19:53 Guest Probably Kansas or Mizzou.

19:57 Adam Mizzou. All right. Good boob country over there. And you don't want to step back up to the big double D anymore?

20:04 Caller No. No. Not for summer at least.

20:08 Adam Oh, that's the best.

20:08 It's too much of a hassle.

20:10 Adam No, I hear that. I know, because I have an unwieldy sack. I know what it's like.

20:17 Drew How funny was that that we had an entire table convinced that you had had a sack left? What is the matter with our friends? Oh, yeah, we were at a wedding.

20:27 Adam We were at a wedding. Me, Drew and eight people from the station and and Jimmy and Jimmy. And, well, you know, I sort of count Jimmy's from the station and Jimmy, some executives, a couple of bosses, some some talent, their wives. Somehow I explained that I had a scrotal plasty and the entire table bit on it. And then Jimmy made this sweeping statement, which I now resent him for. I he said, out of all the people I know, you'd be the one who'd have that. I don't think that's a compliment, number one. Number two, Drew, have you ever seen me put any time into my appearance?

21:11 Drew No, but he is paying homage to your massive scrotal endowment.

21:15 Adam Oh, well, maybe, see? No, I think-

21:17 Drew See what I'm saying? He's not saying that you would worry about yourself. He's saying you need it, is what he was saying.

21:22 Adam No, it was an attack.

21:23 Drew He's saying, of all people, and if you notice, I picked up after that, right?

21:27 Adam It was nothing short of an attack, Drew.

21:29 Drew It was nothing short of an attack. That's how I was picking it up a little bit and really had him believing it.

21:34 Adam And then when I went on to explain to the table, which was largely drunk high and drunken high, and I think that's part of the thing, true. I think they had been softened up by booze and weed. And they're a little more gullible. I then explained to the table that I had asymmetry in the scrotum and that one hung a little lower than the other. So I just went ahead and had that one raised up. The problem is they raised it too high. So I had to have the other side raised to meet that one. Well they did that one too high.

22:06 Drew And then I want to explain that these plastic procedures are often a set of procedures. You know, it's not just one time you get a breast job, you have to have them revised, they're scarring, same thing with the scrotoplasty.

22:15 Adam Right, and everybody at the table thought I had. And listen, when Jimmy said that, anyone I know, he didn't mean because of my mammoth scrotum. I think he just thought it was a stupid enough operation for me to do.

22:27 Drew That's nice. And by the way, you started out by saying you had your scrotum ironed out, if you remember. That's how I started.

22:34 Adam Had a little booze in me, my own self. Tell you though, you know the thing that's nice about a wedding? Nice daytime buzz.

22:42 Drew Nice chocolate fountain at that one.

22:43 Adam At a chocolate fountain.

22:45 Drew That was crazy.

22:46 Adam They had, you know, the wine, drinking a little wine at four in the afternoon, staying out in the garden, getting a nice buzz on. It's nice. All right. Let's talk to, well, let's see. Once bigger boobs.

23:00 Caller Hmm.

23:01 Adam Chaotic past. All right. Let's talk to Anna, who's 16. Anna?

23:07 Guest Yeah.

23:08 Adam What's up? Uh-oh.

23:10 Guest Um, OK. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for almost a year. And me and him both have a chaotic past, like with our dads. And I was just wondering if, like, we would be able to work out for a while, you know?

23:25 Drew How chaotic? Did your dad sexually abuse you?

23:28 Guest No. Well, my dad didn't, but I was sexually abused by, like, my babysitter's son and my cousin. Yeah.

23:39 Drew Yeah.

23:40 Adam And then what about your dad? What was what was going on with him?

23:44 Guest Well, he was like a big old drunk and he'd come home drunk and throw dishes and all that stuff.

23:50 Adam Dishes.

23:51 Drew Yeah, that's hard. Where's my bourbon? It's hard to overcome those sorts of experiences.

23:55 Adam Oh, what about what about your boyfriend? What what happened to him?

23:59 Guest Well, his dad was a drunk, too, and he would, like, threaten to kill himself and all that stuff in front of, like, his kids and stuff.

24:06 Caller Where's my bourbon?

24:07 Drew Oh, beautiful.

24:09 Adam You know, I know. I just I want to thank my dad for never saying a word for the 20 years. I would say he was at the house with me. You know, Drew, I do complain about everyone in my family.

24:18 Drew You're something to be thankful about.

24:19 Adam Oh, thank God. And any people ever open your mouth one time. So awesome. Thank you so much. Well, I think as long as you guys both are aware of what your capacities and tendencies are and you keep an eye and you don't, you know, here's the thing, and Drew, stop me if I'm wrong, but I don't think anybody's ever going to talk any couple out of arguing. The question is, is how long do you argue and what does it escalate to?

24:51 Drew And do you forgive and can you, can you flexibly return to a steady state? You know, can you be back in a normal state pretty readily? And in her, in their case, I got it. They got to avoid drugs and alcohol too, because, you know, at least one of them is going to inherit that gene and that, that will take you down for sure. Yeah. All right.

25:10 Adam So, Anna.

25:11 Guest Uh-huh.

25:11 Adam Sorry for what you've been through in your life.

25:14 Guest No, it's fine. I mean, my dad's not with us anymore. He, my mom kicked him out when I was like three, I think.

25:21 Adam Wow.

25:22 Guest Yeah. And he doesn't have a dad either. They, he barely got, they got divorced like last year.

25:27 Drew But you gotta remember, relationships are not supposed to be about sharing traumatic, horrible experiences together. I understand it's a common ground.

25:34 Adam Yeah, it's turning into that.

25:35 Drew A pain to go to. But, but sometimes you end up pulling each other under with that. So be careful. I know it feels like, oh, we can understand each other because we've been through the same thing. But the reality is you both have the same injuries and so your brains work the same way. And there's no one there to help contain some of that.

25:50 Adam All right. Listen, if you know what you need to do to, it's almost impossible to do, but you got to have that little part of you that stands outside of you and watches you as you begin to unravel and then stops it, flips the yarn.

26:05 Drew Why people don't have that? It's extraordinary to me, but they just don't have any of that. Yeah.

26:12 Adam I know. Well, that's, I don't know what that is, but it's sort of, to me, it's the difference between smart and stupid. I know you don't like to couch things that way, but you know when you turn on cops and there's a guy out in his underpants and he's taking a baseball bat to the neighbor's mailbox and then the camera crew rolls up and he continues to swing the bat at the mailbox and then the cops pull the tasers out and they start yelling commands at him but he won't put the bat down. Right. That's stupid. You see, you can't sort of stand back and look at the situation.

26:47 Drew Yeah, but that's sort of abnormal brain function, too. I mean, it's like a seizure.

26:51 Adam But these are the same people, but okay, that's an extreme version of it, but then there are those people that just sort of have loud arguments in public places.

27:00 Drew Right, right.

27:01 Adam They can't see themselves. There's the people that sort of have loud cell phone conversations, you know, in the movie theater.

27:08 Drew That's the I don't care. I truly don't care.

27:11 Adam Well, there's sort of I don't care, and the arguing couple has an element of I don't care, but it's I don't care meets who cares meets we're too stupid to know.

27:20 Drew But what you're missing is the reason I don't like this too stupid moniker is that you don't exist in an emotional way to me. Emotionally, you don't exist. You may exist intellectually, Adam, I've been meaning to tell you that. But intellectually, they exist, but not emotionally. And so there you go, Adam.

27:38 Adam Well, I'm just saying that when you take really smart people, they never seem to do too much in public. I mean, they never seem to get in big blowouts. You never seem to beat the crap out of our kids. You know those people you see like swatting their kids in public and get weird on their kids?

27:56 Drew I can imagine what they do at home.

27:58 Adam I know, it's like, hey, if you're doing that at the Jimberry, what are you doing at home? Throwing the kid on a rack and putting jumper cables on its genitalia? Yeah. All right, Drew, you didn't want to fin the herd. And look what we got now.

28:14 Drew I'm kind of going your way.

28:16 Adam Thank you. All right, we got to take a little break. Engineer Michelle is on the Internet finding me. Just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in. Yeah.

28:30 Caller Yeah.

28:30 Adam Oh, yeah.

28:31 Caller The condition my condition was in. Bow bow bow.

28:35 Adam Drew, come on, buddy.

28:37 Drew No, no.

28:37 Adam Kenny Rogers.

28:39 Drew I didn't know he was in anything other than by himself. I didn't know.

28:44 Adam Well, listen, I'm going to get you. I'm going to we're going to find this and you are going to freak, man. Freak out, baby. We are going to freak out together. Take ourselves a little break. When we come back, see we got a Lesbo. Can't get a girlfriend. Can't get the girlfriend orgasm.

29:00 Drew Oh, that's interesting.

29:01 Adam I'll teach her how to do woo. Engineer Michelle, something in your wheelhouse, baby. We'll do all that after this.

29:15 Caller We'll be right back.

29:23 Adam Yeah, everybody. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah. Hell yeah. Why not? That's what I'm saying. No reason why not. It's a loveline to Adam. That's Dr. Drew in Chi Town.

29:38 Drew Yeah.

29:39 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

29:43 Drew Now, as usual, it's 72, breezy, beautiful here.

29:46 Adam Yeah. It's always nice when we're in Chicago. Yeah. He's out there in Chi-Town. He'll be back. When are you going to be back?

29:54 Drew Tomorrow.

29:54 Adam Yeah.

29:55 Drew Yeah.

29:56 Adam All right. Let's get back to the phones because that's what this show is about.

30:00 Caller Yeah.

30:02 Caller Yeah.

30:02 Adam And me singing first edition songs with Kenny Rogers.

30:07 Caller Next caller.

30:10 Caller Yeah.

30:11 Next caller, please.

30:12 Caller Oh, yeah. What condition? My condition was he.

30:17 Adam Oh, Drew, wait till you hear this.

30:19 Drew Let's go work on some music one of these days. And let's actually get a song nailed down.

30:23 Adam Cassandra?

30:25 Guest Yeah.

30:25 Adam You're 18?

30:27 Guest Yes.

30:27 Adam What's the matter?

30:30 Guest Well, when me and my girlfriend have sex, for some reason, she just can't have an orgasm.

30:37 Caller How old are you?

30:38 Guest She says it's something I'm doing wrong, but she can't really tell me what it is.

30:43 Adam She's 18.

30:45 Drew And how old is the girlfriend?

30:46 She's 19.

30:47 Drew And has she ever had an orgasm with anybody?

30:50 Guest Yes.

30:51 Drew And what did she say you're doing wrong?

30:53 Guest She says she doesn't know.

30:55 Drew Oh, boy.

30:58 Adam Cassandra, you come out of the factory as a lesbian or did you get converted out on the street? You know what I mean? There's something I'm saying, like certain cars, certain old muscle cars, and even Ferraris that came out as coupes and then got converted into convertibles at a certain point. You know what I mean? Sometimes hard to tell if they're factory or not.

31:23 Drew There weren't no going back.

31:24 Adam Well, once once they saw that top off there in the back. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Did you get monkeyed with? You got a weirdo uncle or something?

31:37 Guest No, it was just a long story.

31:43 Adam All right.

31:43 Drew That's very crystal clear.

31:45 Adam Yeah, I knew it.

31:47 Drew I see that history now coming.

31:48 Adam Who did this? Someone molest you?

31:53 Guest Yeah.

31:54 Adam Okay.

31:54 Drew Who was it?

31:56 Guest It was my mom's best friend's son.

32:05 Drew Okay.

32:06 Adam Mom's best friend's son. All right. Was he much older than you?

32:09 Yeah.

32:10 Adam Okay. Well, that's enough. So how long did that go on for?

32:17 Guest Only like a couple of weeks.

32:19 Drew All right. How old were you when that happened?

32:22 Guest I was 13.

32:24 Caller That's a little old though.

32:25 Drew Did anything happen before that?

32:28 Guest What?

32:29 Drew Anything happened before that?

32:32 Guest No, not really.

32:34 Drew Okay.

32:35 Adam I'm done banging my head against this rock. So Cassandra?

32:40 Guest Yeah.

32:41 Adam Okay. Listen, are we boring you? I'll tell you what, I'm going to put you on hold for about another 30 minutes. All right. You see, you see if you can. You know what? I smells get a little shot of a smelling salt and do that thing where you put your face in a sink and go. And then we'll come back. I like I like these sort of we are not amused by the goofballs from Oklahoma that are talking to a national radio show. Does and everything just starts sounding like a sound. But the sound it's really just bad. It's just tones and it all just sounds bad. Like how old are you? Yeah. Well, what's wrong with your girl? And we have a blessed.

33:29 Drew I get that they're in pain, but we got to still. Everyone's got to step it up.

33:32 Adam You got to step it up. Sorry. Oh, and by the way, everybody, you are going to have a horrible life if you just go through life with that kind of. Hey, you want to fill out a job application?

33:48 Drew A little customer service.

33:53 Adam Yeah, that rental car insurance included in the 29.95 package.

34:00 Drew But you know, people get in that biological state where that's about all you can come out of them.

34:04 Adam I know.

34:05 Drew But then the deal is get treated.

34:07 Adam Yeah, well, here's the thing too. Here would be a decent job. Now, their parents end up being around them, their loved ones, teachers, everyone just sort of writes them off. And then you just get used to it and you start, you know, the parent is like, honey, you want eggs or cereal for breakfast? Okay. And sunny side up or base it? All righty then. Now you got to get moving because after school, we're going to gymnastics class. I don't even know what the person's doing anymore. You know what my job should be? My job, my job should be just going around and telling everyone immediately what's wrong with them first impression.

34:48 Drew With their first impression?

34:50 Adam With my first impression.

34:51 Drew Of them.

34:52 Adam Yeah. I just got to talk to me.

34:54 Caller Okay.

34:54 Adam Here's what's going on.

34:55 Drew Yeah.

34:56 Caller You know what I'm saying?

34:59 Adam Let me tell you, I also told my wife that people ought to pay me $3,000 an hour to walk through their house and tell them what to do. And she was like, she was appalled. She realized she married an a-hole at that point.

35:15 Drew It took all the way till then.

35:16 Adam Yeah.

35:17 Drew Yeah.

35:18 Adam Yeah. When I started announcing people to pay me to walk through their house and critique it.

35:22 Caller All right.

35:27 Drew Stephanie, to you, for you and your first impression.

35:33 Adam Well, I don't know. I don't think you can do it with people that you may or may may know from radio or television or something like that. It's not going to work.

35:42 Drew Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Here we go. Step it up. Break it down.

35:46 Adam Stephanie.

35:47 Hi, Adam. You make me laugh. I've had to say that.

35:50 Adam Thanks, sweetie pea. You're 26. What's up?

35:54 Caller My fiance doesn't want me to have a boob job and I want one and he's like, why don't you just try those herbal and hamsters? And I was just wondering if those even work or what's the deal with those?

36:05 Drew They do not work. But what's your situation?

36:10 Caller We just got engaged and what do you mean by situation? What do you want to know?

36:13 Adam Your boob situation.

36:16 Drew Okay. Have you ever been on oral contraceptives, birth control?

36:19 Caller I'm on some now, yeah.

36:21 Drew Okay. Because sometimes that'll add something, some women depending on what they're doing.

36:24 Caller I haven't noticed anything, so.

36:26 Drew All right. Did you get any breast soreness on the pill?

36:29 Caller Yeah. I always get my boobs, I always like it seem to get a little bigger and sore right before my period.

36:36 Drew And I'm just still aside by why the girls want. The ones that have the focus on the boobs or what the augmentation.

36:44 Adam Boobs. I like that though.

36:46 Drew Yeah. But what is that?

36:47 Adam I don't know. But let me tell you something about boobs. It should have been bube in the first place.

36:51 Drew I understand. But why do the girls that have the focus on it and they want the augmentation say it that way? What does that mean?

36:58 Adam I think they think about it so much it changes the shape of their soft palate or something. I don't know, bube.

37:06 Caller Yeah, yeah, oh yeah. What condition my condition.

37:10 Adam Come on, Drew.

37:11 Drew It sounds a little me, a little, a little.

37:14 Adam A little hair?

37:15 Drew A little shamed a little bit. Are you?

37:18 Caller Yeah.

37:19 Drew I'm holding back a little bit because then I'm thinking so much about this. And so I put a little twist on the word when it makes me feel uncomfortable to bring it up.

37:28 Adam Well, Stephanie.

37:30 Caller Yeah.

37:30 Adam Let's let's think other things you can you can do to enhance yourself.

37:35 Caller OK.

37:36 Adam Where do you work?

37:38 Caller I am a hairdresser.

37:41 Caller Mm hmm.

37:42 Adam How do you do? Do you rent a chair? Now, yeah, do you make decent money?

37:49 Caller I do.

37:49 Caller Yeah.

37:51 Adam I always thought there would be a decent gig. You enjoy it?

37:53 Caller I like it.

37:55 Drew Adam, I could see you in that. That's the other job I could see you doing.

37:59 Adam Yeah.

37:59 Drew Either construction or haircutting.

38:01 Adam Yeah. Be a decent gig. All right. So you have a career. You're happy.

38:06 Caller Yes.

38:07 Adam Your your fiance enjoys your breasts the way they are.

38:11 Caller He says so. Yeah.

38:13 Adam Oh, you don't believe him.

38:14 Caller I don't know.

38:16 Drew Why wouldn't he want them to be enlarged?

38:18 Caller He's more self-conscious about it than he is.

38:20 Adam Yeah. I don't see, you know, here's the thing. If you're, you know, an A or you're something that is just sort of off the spectrum of reality, then go ahead and do it. But 34B, that's fine. Most guys, most guys are fine with that.

38:38 Drew By the way, this thing that women get into where they don't believe their boyfriends, guys are not bashful about that stuff. They don't like something they are going to tell you.

38:46 Adam Well, they may not bring it up, but if you bring it up, they'll be with you.

38:52 Drew They'll be all over it.

38:53 Adam I mean, look, let's put it this way. Guy may want his old lady to lose 10 pounds and may feel self-conscious about saying anything. But if she says, you know, I gotta lose 10 pounds, I gotta get myself in the shape, you know, he'll go, yeah, all right, yeah, not yourself out.

39:11 Drew No, no, no, he'll go, oh, let's go to the gym right now, sign up, let's go, let's go.

39:14 Adam Yeah, that's what I mean. He's not gonna argue with you and, you know, rip up your gym membership or bust your treadmill, right? Yes?

39:23 Drew Yes.

39:24 Adam Busting your treadmill is like, it's like, she's no longer a girl anymore, she's now a woman. He busted her treadmill.

39:33 Drew God.

39:33 Adam Engineers, Michelle, what do you got over there? You got any first edition? Any Kenny Rogers over there?

39:38 Caller I'm looking, but the computer won't let me download.

39:41 Adam Why don't you go to a computer that'll let you do it? Do we have one?

39:45 Caller I think, remember we got that notice that said you can't download anything because somebody was downloading porn or something?

39:51 Drew Somebody.

39:52 Adam Yeah, Chet. Yeah. All right, we'll figure that out. Drew, let's-

39:59 Adam Do you? Yeah, let's hear it.

40:03 Drew Oh. It's got a buffer. What does that mean? Oh, it's got a download.

40:39 Adam They're just crawling in.

40:40 Drew Oh my God.

40:41 Adam That's heavy, man.

40:43 Drew I have never heard that song.

40:45 Adam Don't you know what?

40:45 Drew God is my witness.

40:46 Adam You are so Squaresville, Daddy-O.

40:49 Drew I just not into that stuff in the day.

40:51 Adam You are the man.

40:53 Drew I am the man, even though I was eight. I'm the man.

40:57 Adam Hey, Daddy-O. Yeah, I was 1966, Drew.

41:01 Drew I was eight.

41:02 Adam See it, man. He crawled inside his mind, man, while he was crawling out.

41:08 Drew Oh, my God. How do we survive all that?

41:11 Caller Yeah.

41:12 Caller Yeah.

41:12 Drew What has that done to our minds?

41:15 Caller My condition.

41:16 Adam That's Kenny Rogers.

41:17 Drew To all of our. I know.

41:19 Adam I think that's the guy who sings Coward of the County. You got to know when that guy's got range. And he opened a joint.

41:30 Drew Now we were like spurs and things weird.

41:32 Adam Yeah. All right.

41:34 Drew But just sociopath, whatever.

41:37 Adam Come on, Drew. That's a big hit in 66.

41:39 Drew But to our listeners, that's all just a little piece of a little sliver of history. For us, we live through that crap. I would rather, I would have rather been in Napoleonic Europe, I think.

41:50 Adam Yeah. Well, Drew, you were in diapers. Who cares? Let's take ourselves a little break. Open your mind, man. Get yourself tight. Take a little break. Drew, over there in Shattown. Ace Man over here in La La City. Then we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Yeah, everybody, it's Love Line. That's your music, sure. That's what you kids enjoy, sure. Let me tell you what Drew was rocking to. Back in the day. Hair grown out, blown out, tuned out, dropped out. Know what I'm saying, man? Dropped a little peony and went to the desert. This was the soundtrack to Drew's life. Let's hear it, Michelle. Yeah, even the beginning is trippy. Druggie song ever. Yeah, Drew, come on. Get with it, buddy. Yeah, Kenny Rogers. Get heavy, Drew, come on, buddy.

43:26 Caller There's so much easier to be successful that way.

43:30 Drew Competition was so low.

43:31 Adam You found his mind in a brown paper bag, buddy. That mean anything to you? You tripped on a cloud. Tourists mind on a jagged sky. See, they don't write drug songs like they used to.

43:55 Drew Thankfully.

43:57 Adam Yeah, come on, buddy. You gotta make the scene. Yeah, let's hear the next one, Eskimo. Follow the soul into a hole. See, when you get high, you can watch yourself do stuff without a mirror.

44:22 Caller Couldn't unwind. They broke his mind. Here's where it really gets funky.

44:38 Adam There's got to be some sitar in here somewhere. Now picture some guy with huge sideburns just smoking a brown cigarette and nodding in the engineer's booth right now. Right, right. We got to hit it.

44:52 Drew We got to play the guitar as a big mop of hair with a big headband. Yeah.

45:01 Adam This is the first edition. We got to get these guys in.

45:07 Drew Oh yeah, yeah.

45:09 Adam Hey, producer Lauren, let's book Kenny Rogers in the first edition. See what they've been up to for the last 41 years.

45:15 Drew How many are still alive?

45:17 Adam Oh, come on, buddy.

45:18 Caller I think they broke up in 74.

45:23 Drew Like you said, what they've been doing for the last 30 years.

45:25 Adam He left the road and flew out his mind, man. Got that nice 60s funky psychedelic organ in there.

45:38 Drew This is really a great case in point for not doing any performing early in your life. You don't want to leave anything like this behind.

45:46 Adam Yeah. Oh, I think this thing has a real funky, weird ending too. Here's where it gets weird.

46:03 Caller Oh, yeah.

46:06 Adam Do you feel high, Drew?

46:09 Drew I feel like vomiting, but...

46:11 Adam Come on, buddy. That's a... That's a stone gas right there, my brother.

46:20 Drew Stone gas.

46:22 Adam Yeah, but so tight.

46:25 Drew I'm not cool.

46:26 Adam Come on, man. Grow that hair out, man. Get some pork chops on you. Get some facial hair going. Let's go.

46:32 Drew Why do we got to get some of those?

46:34 Adam Get some of those pants that lace up in the front and in the back.

46:37 Drew Let's be like Kenny and then get a big, you know, 10-gallon hat and grow my beard out and become cowboy.

46:42 Adam I'm telling you. Telling you the guy's got range. Let's talk to Lisa who's 21. Lisa? What's up?

46:52 Caller I just wondered if it is possible to catch genital herpes if, like, other people have it in their, in a hot tub, not from sexual contact, but just, like, being in the hot tub.

47:05 Drew No, no. If somebody has an active outbreak and they sit on the side of the pool and then you then sit in that puddle later, that has been suggested.

47:15 Adam Yeah, it's not gonna happen.

47:17 Drew But that really never happens.

47:18 Adam If you drive, use the belt technique I do when I drive, you know, I also called the flying V.

47:26 Caller Yeah, yeah.

47:28 Adam And then pass the towel on to the next person, you might be able to, but no.

47:32 Drew Yeah.

47:33 Adam No. Who's got the herpes in the hot tub?

47:38 Caller Well, I found out after the fact that one of the people that was in there had it.

47:45 Drew How did you find that out?

47:47 Caller Through another person, but it was confirmed. I mean, that person knew that this person had contracted it quite a while ago.

47:55 Drew Don't you think if people were getting it by being in the same pool, you'd be hearing a little more about that? Think about it, the herpes is a fairly common condition. Every time somebody jumped in a pool, everyone in the pool would get the herpes. Come on.

48:06 Caller Well, this is a hot tub.

48:07 Caller This is a hot tub.

48:08 Drew I know. Well, it's all totally different then. How dare you?

48:11 Adam Yeah. There's only 700 gallons of water in there as opposed to a thousand.

48:15 Drew Right.

48:15 Adam So look, Lisa, you're fine, baby doll.

48:17 Guest Okay.

48:18 Adam All right.

48:19 Guest Thank you.

48:19 Adam Enjoy. Take care. Oh, hot tub. Remember? Remember as a young lad getting in that hot tub with a couple ladies, true?

48:29 Drew Not sure that ever happened. That was in my head that happened.

48:31 Adam Oh, really?

48:32 Drew Yeah.

48:33 Adam Just dropped in. Yeah. All right. Drew, you don't know that song, huh?

48:37 Drew No, absolutely. No, no, no.

48:40 Adam I was doing it. I was doing it. I was doing it.

48:42 Drew Yeah.

48:42 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

48:43 Drew Yeah. Yeah. You were.

48:44 Adam Kim. Hi, guys. 22. What's happening? Michelle, figure out how high up the charts that didn't climb did not. I'm guessing it made the top 10. No problem.

48:54 Drew Oh, my God.

48:57 Adam And that little ditty we just played by Kenny Rogers.

49:01 Guest You are obsessed with that song, I think.

49:03 Adam Now, you know, let me tell you something. I'm like a pit bull. I got no quit in me. And and all Drew has to say is the the magic words of I've never heard that before. And then that's it.

49:13 Drew And then the show is dedicated to that song.

49:15 Adam The show becomes dedicated to whatever it is you haven't heard of.

49:18 Drew Oh, yeah, right. So Kim, what's up?

49:21 Guest Adam, I have been a huge fan of yours forever.

49:24 Caller And Drew, I love you.

49:26 Guest I read your book and you're amazing and you are an amazing doctor. And I have the utmost, most respect for you ever.

49:34 Caller But Adam, you are...

49:36 Drew Here comes the bomb.

49:37 Guest What's that?

49:39 Adam Go ahead.

49:39 Guest Adam, you are the most witty person and you have the best personality that I have ever witnessed. I would love to meet you.

49:46 Drew Don't confuse wittiness with the personality.

49:50 Adam Thank you. Thank you.

49:53 Guest Okay.

49:54 Caller Okay, I'll be right there.

49:55 Guest And so my...

49:56 Adam I'm retarded...

49:58 .was, is it true that, like, that you have a huge scrotum?

50:02 Guest I mean, is that true? Because if it is, that might ruin it for me because I'm, like, you know, in love with you and, like, I want my boyfriend to be like you and, like, you know, you know what I mean?

50:12 Adam Yeah, he'd have to alter his scrotum.

50:14 Guest I want him to have stimulating conversations with him and he's no more like you and I want him to...

50:19 Drew They have something, Kim, called a corolloplasty, where you can have your...

50:23 Adam Enlarge it. Yeah.

50:24 Drew Yeah, just like, just like a corolla.

50:25 Adam And they can shape it like my head.

50:27 Drew Yeah.

50:27 Guest No, but are they really... Do you really have, like... Because I can get both my boyfriends and I don't have a small mouth.

50:33 Caller I don't have a big mouth at all.

50:34 Guest And I can get both my boyfriend's balls into my mouth at one time.

50:37 Caller Oh, okay.

50:38 Guest All right.

50:39 Adam Really?

50:40 Caller Yeah. And I love...

50:41 Guest How old are you? 22.

50:44 Adam 22.

50:44 Guest All right. I love oral sex.

50:46 Caller I love sex, period.

50:48 Guest But I just wish that, you know, I love you and I think you're on.

50:53 Caller All right.

50:53 Adam Thank you. Thank you. I feel the need to defend my sack here for a moment.

51:00 Drew Even though Jimmy disgraced it.

51:02 Adam Yes, he. And by the way, when my when my sack, my sack is not speaking to Jimmy Sack anymore.

51:09 Drew I thought your sack wasn't speaking to any part of Jimmy.

51:11 Adam Well, or or mostly his sack at the end of the wedding.

51:15 Drew He used to hang out. You're right.

51:16 Adam At the end of the end of the wedding, I saw them confront each other in the parking lot. My sack and Jimmy Sack. Oh, I heard my sack say, Good day. And Jimmy Sack said, You got it. You got to let me explain. And my sack said, I said, good day. And he threw his scarf around the top part and threw a cigarette down and marched out.

51:38 Drew Wow. I wish I'd seen that. That was quite an event. Quite a sight.

51:44 Adam I was proud of him or her. You know, wrote him.

51:46 Drew He's grown up.

51:48 Adam Yeah. And he slapped him with a white glove. Oh, yeah. Now who's getting heavy?

51:53 Drew Was that the white?

51:54 Adam Oh, here's the thing. I would say I would I would truthfully say my sack is probably a little larger than average, but probably not by much. It's just, you know, I know.

52:09 Drew Be fair. You've got a pretty good. There's a pretty good gravitational pull going on.

52:13 Adam Nothing wrong with it. Nothing. You know, it's got it. It's got a decent size size to it.

52:18 Guest No abnormalities or anything like that.

52:20 Adam No, I would never wouldn't be chronicled in any medical books or anything like that.

52:25 Drew It's getting close though.

52:26 Caller You have hair on your back.

52:28 Guest I want to know that, too.

52:29 Adam No, I don't have any hair on my back.

52:32 Drew Well, that on his back.

52:33 Adam I've got a little on my ass. Yeah.

52:35 Guest Well, it's normal to have, it's normal to have the cabs to have hair on your back. Thanks, thanks, baby.

52:40 Adam Really lathers up the soap, too. Really lathers it up.

52:43 Drew Kim, this is a little outline from the normal spectrum, though, but I don't, you know what, Drew, quiet down over there.

52:52 Adam I don't have an ounce of hair on my back, which is weird.

52:57 Drew We've got 40 pounds on your ass.

52:59 Adam I got a little on the ass, a little on the ass, just enough to lather up the soap. And, you know, my arms, it just stops at my elbow. And that's it. It's like I'm wearing a white shirt. I'm wearing, you know, like I'm wearing... All right, we gotta take a break.

53:14 Drew All right, here we go.

53:15 Adam And gore underpants with a white t-shirt. It's really what I'm looking at.

53:18 Drew That's what I'm talking about.

53:19 Adam All right, let's take ourselves a little break. Drew is like a burn victim. I don't believe his hair anywhere on his body, except for on his head and in his right nostril. We will take... It doesn't have hair on his forearms or...

53:33 Drew None.

53:33 Adam Could you grow a beard if you wanted?

53:35 Drew Yeah.

53:36 Adam You could. Would it be a regular beard?

53:38 Drew More like goatee.

53:39 Adam It doesn't grow in on the sides, where...

53:41 Drew Not so much.

53:42 Adam Okay, buddy. Let's take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back after this.

53:47 Drew All right, guys, here's the deal. Look in the hookup. Call the dateline.

53:51 Caller Sick of wasting time with the wrong person. Call the dateline. One call is all you need to make.

53:55 Call the dateline.

53:59 Caller Date.

54:01 Caller If you need him.

54:03 Caller Call Loveline. 1-800-LOVE-191.

54:09 Caller The one and only Live 105.

54:28 Adam Yeah, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. He's in Chi-Town tonight, kiddies. Phone him. Yeah, 1-800-LOVE-191. A couple of things, Drew.

54:44 Drew Yeah.

54:44 Adam First off, I had one of those nightmares last night where I actually autobalized my, you know, I bellowed in the middle of the night.

54:53 Drew What did your wife tell you? What happened?

54:55 Adam I was like, And it's so humiliating because I was actually in my dream, which I do remember vividly was getting prepared to kick some ass and was threatening the person, but it just came out like, Why can't you talk?

55:18 Drew Sometimes you can, but if you're fairly deeply asleep, but just, you can't quite give the energy, you know, you can't articulate and stuff.

55:24 Adam Well, I had the energy to make the humiliating sound.

55:27 Drew Yeah. That's nice. Did it scare the hell out of your wife?

55:31 Adam Nah, it was more like she married an idiot. Frightening, you know, real frightening. You know, the startle stuff you get over. Yeah. I married a retard.

55:40 Drew Ooh.

55:40 Adam You know, that lasts a long time. Yeah.

55:43 Drew My daughter walks in her sleep a little bit. She was running out the door the other, a couple of nights ago with the dogs. Right out the front door.

55:48 Adam Really?

55:48 Drew And my wife heard her and she goes down and she goes, what are you doing? She goes, huh? Like, so they kind of go, blah, blah, blah. And she goes, you're asleep, honey, go to sleep. And she goes, I'm alive.

55:59 Adam Wow.

56:00 Drew And then another more blah, blah, blah. And she goes, where's my mother? To her mother.

56:04 Adam Wow.

56:05 Drew And she goes, honey, I'm your mother. No, my other mother.

56:08 Adam Oh, the maid you were boffing. Oh, my other mother? Wow. That's going to send your old lady right into therapy. Or over to the gypsy lady she talks to to figure out the future. Wow. That's weird.

56:27 Drew Isn't that wild?

56:28 Adam Now, what do you think she meant? Or who cares?

56:30 Drew She doesn't, yeah, she doesn't mean anything. I mean, doesn't mean anything meaningful.

56:35 Adam I know. I mean, I don't know, you know, I had one of these like, you know, like nightmares where where it was like goblins, you know, like ridiculous.

56:45 Caller Goblins.

56:46 Adam Green lady trying to attack me. You know, wow. It's weird.

56:52 Drew You have like little kid dreams.

56:54 Adam Not usually. Normally I just have, you know, just dreams of, you know, you know, stuff breaking off and in my house, you know, I just have these stupid dreams where, you know, pieces of the space lab come through my roof. Seriously like that. Yeah, I have only negative dreams. I don't have any positive dreams.

57:14 Drew You know, they were planning to do a, what's that TV show where they goof you, punked you. They were going to have an airplane crashed into your house. They're trying to figure out how to do that. Do you wear this?

57:27 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Jimmy told me later on after they decide not to do it, that they were going to try to figure out how to get an airplane to crash in my house.

57:35 Drew Yeah.

57:36 Adam I'd be a horrible guy. I'm a horrible guy to punk, though, because you don't really, you wouldn't know, you wouldn't know the difference. Right. I don't, I don't really.

57:44 Drew Your calls would go from 48 to 52.

57:46 Adam Yeah. When my car was completely totaled one night, I was talking to Jimmy on the phone. He was in New York. And I was just standing, looking at my car, looking out the balcony at it. And a drunk driver slammed into it and turned it into a can of corn. And Jimmy said, what was that huge crash I just heard? And I said, that was my car being destroyed. And he said, get out of here. And I was like, no. And the people, I have such a lack of reaction. I think sometimes people think I'm not telling the truth.

58:18 Drew Right, right. It seems.

58:19 Adam Yeah. So I'm a horrible guy to punk because I don't, I wouldn't necessarily say anything.

58:23 Drew Right, right, right. All right. The other plan was to bring an inspector through.

58:29 Adam Oh, really?

58:29 Drew Oh, yeah. That's interesting. It was tipped off.

58:33 Adam Hmm. That would have been good, too.

58:35 Drew Yeah.

58:36 Adam All right.

58:37 Drew That you wouldn't get worked up about, I think.

58:39 Adam Yeah, I would have. I would have definitely got worked up about that. All right. We're going to hop back to the phones. What do you say, everybody? Right around?

58:46 Drew Yep.

58:46 Adam Let's talk to Lee or Leah. No, I think that's Lee. Lee.

58:54 Oh, there you go.

58:55 Drew There you go.

58:56 Adam Yeah, that is 21. What's up?

58:59 Hey, I was just wanting to ask a question. I send you guys all the time. Actually, can I use your stuff on some of the places? But I was just wondering, it's the first time I kind of dealt with it. I was just wondering some things on if my boyfriend is cheating or if, you know, I'm just whacked in the head. I don't know.

59:16 Drew What's happening? What's going on?

59:18 Um, a little tiny bit of backstory, though. Um, I'm just going through a couple of physical changes, emotional changes at the moment. I haven't had a monthly course for about four or five years. And we've been going out.

59:35 Adam What is that?

59:36 I'm sorry.

59:37 Drew You haven't had a period in five years?

59:39 No.

59:41 Drew I was like talking to Riddles here.

59:43 Adam She said no. She said no like she was saying no to your question, not to what your question was.

59:50 Drew I don't know. Let's get to it.

59:52 Adam Your monthly course?

59:54 I haven't had periods in like four or five years.

59:57 Drew Got it.

59:57 Adam All right.

59:58 Drew Are you heavy?

1:00:00 No.

1:00:00 Drew Are you underweight?

1:00:02 No.

1:00:03 Drew How much do you weigh?

1:00:04 Um, 150.

1:00:06 Drew Okay.

1:00:08 Adam How tall are you? How tall are you?

1:00:10 Um, 5'10.

1:00:12 Caller A lot of women.

1:00:13 Drew All right. So what's your question?

1:00:14 Okay. Anyway, I just started having my periods, like, a couple of weeks ago. All right. And so I knew I was a little emotional. It was just a mess. But I finally finish, and then he comes in. He just comes over one night, and he just kind of stands there. Oh, great. My battery's going dead. He just kind of stands there and starts talking down about my place, my paint, my furniture, everything like that. He tells me, oh yeah, I went out with a chick tonight, went out to IHOP, and it was like, okay.

1:00:50 Adam All right. All right, Liat, you sound sort of confused and as spotty as your maxi pad. You just seem, I don't know, if you think the guy is in love with you, that's fine. If he's abusing you verbally or saying he's going out with other women, feel free to drop him.

1:01:10 Drew Exactly.

1:01:12 Adam You seem like one of these people who's sort of confused by life.

1:01:16 Drew But the way sort of a young adolescent would be.

1:01:19 Adam Right. You're 21. Do you have any friends that are smart?

1:01:22 Caller Yeah.

1:01:23 Adam Hang out with them.

1:01:25 Caller Okay.

1:01:26 Adam Yeah. I mean, look, let me say something, everybody. Hang out with smart people. Hang out with successful people. Hook your wagon to their team. Let them drag you around. Here's the thing. Most people are sort of, they hover somewhere in the middle of life. And if you hover somewhere in the middle of life and you hook yourself up with a bunch of loser, drug addicts, whatever, you'll just go down with them or... And I'm just going, you know, apropos of nothing here, Drew, but going on a jag. Everyone always talks about negative influences. This person's a bad guy. You hang out with this group. You're going to end up in prison or the grave or, you know. They always talk about that. They never really talk about the good influence, people. Right. It's not even good influence. It's just hang out with losers. You'll be a loser. Hang out with winners. You'll be a winner. So just go hang out with the winners. Now, the thing is, is you have to humble yourself a little because you get to be the king of the tards when you hang out with the losers. You get to be the funniest guy, get to be the smartest guy. Hey, you're making nine bucks an hour. You're the richest guy of all the losers. But when you move on up to the people that are doing a little bit better, you're no longer the editor-in-chief. You're now kind of at the bottom of the winner pyramid. Better to be the bottom brick of the winner pyramid than be at the top of the loser pyramid. Yes, Drew?

1:02:58 Drew Yes, sir. Yes.

1:03:00 Adam They never talk about that. You find yourself people that are doing stuff and hang out with them.

1:03:05 Drew And listen, if you hang out with smart people or compete with smart people, or anything else, you compete with people that are better at anything than you, you're going to come up to their level.

1:03:15 Adam Yeah, I do. You know, I do. I grew up with a bunch of guys who always wanted to be sort of leader of the pack of a group of idiots. And so and they would never venture out of their group because the second they got out of their group, they were the idiot.

1:03:31 Drew Right.

1:03:32 Adam They drove the worst car. They had the worst apartment. They made the least money and they were the dumbest. So they stayed in their little pack and just sort of made fun of the other people. Meanwhile, 20 years went by, nothing happened.

1:03:45 Drew Right.

1:03:45 Adam Right. Go hang out with these smart people. It's humbling for a while, but then eventually you get to be one of them and everyone's happy. And let me say this too about the smart people and successful people. Everyone says, oh, well, sure, they're successful, but they're miserable or they're successful, but they're snobs. No, not really.

1:04:07 Drew That's your mom talking.

1:04:08 Adam Yeah. Well, that's society talking oftentimes and people that aren't doing so well talking because they're envious. The people I know that are successful, they're actually happy and they enjoy it and they enjoy themselves.

1:04:22 Drew And they like other people. They're generous. They like people too.

1:04:25 Adam Yeah. Yeah. So go ahead and surround yourself with those people, everybody. All right, Drew.

1:04:31 Caller Yeah.

1:04:32 Adam Let's get back to the phones.

1:04:34 Drew That'd be great.

1:04:35 Adam I got to talk about Pi tonight, too, you know.

1:04:37 Drew Why?

1:04:38 Adam Well, because something came to my attention during the commercial break.

1:04:42 Caller Oh.

1:04:43 Adam I'll get into it after this phone call. Andrea?

1:04:47 Caller Yeah.

1:04:48 Adam You're 23?

1:04:50 Caller Yeah.

1:04:51 Adam What's up?

1:04:52 Caller So I had a question. Whenever I have sex with my fiance and I'm on top, there's a considerable amount of pain. And I went to, in my last annual checkup, the doctor thought I might have a cyst on one of my ovaries.

1:05:08 Caller Right.

1:05:09 Caller So she had me go to, she asked me if there was any pain, and I said no, because I just didn't really connect them at that point. And so I went and had an ultrasound, but I'm almost positive they checked the wrong side.

1:05:24 Drew No, no, they do both sides when you have an ultrasound.

1:05:26 Caller He said he was only looking at the one side.

1:05:28 Drew Yeah, but they'll do both.

1:05:29 Caller And I didn't feel the probe.

1:05:31 Drew Yeah, they may have been looking extra hard at one side, but they'll do both. And by the way, he must have felt it on the other side too when he did the pelvic exam.

1:05:40 Caller What was the different doctor that did the ultrasound versus the...

1:05:44 Drew I understand, but if they're gonna look at one side, it's because the doctor did the pelvic felt something on that one side.

1:05:50 Caller Yeah.

1:05:51 Drew But they're always gonna do both sides. Relax, they did both sides.

1:05:55 Caller Okay.

1:05:56 Drew All right.

1:05:56 Caller So now, what's the question?

1:05:59 Caller They always do both sides no matter what?

1:06:02 Drew I can't say no matter what, but it would be bizarre if they didn't.

1:06:04 Caller Okay.

1:06:06 Caller So do you know why there would be the pain from being on top at all?

1:06:11 Drew Maybe it was the cysts are exceedingly common. Maybe I had one on the other side that ruptured.

1:06:17 Caller Okay.

1:06:18 Drew Everybody gets cysts.

1:06:20 Adam I got one on my ovaries. Do you need to be on top? Can you get in a position that's more comfortable for you?

1:06:26 Caller No. Well, we just don't typically do it that way. But for a number of years, I haven't been able to do it on top.

1:06:36 Drew That's fine. You may always hurt that way. It just may be your anatomy. That's all. It's okay.

1:06:41 Adam Andrew's funny because she like you'll go, well, do you think there's no, I know. I just. Yeah, but she screams her or no. And then she goes back in a normal tone. I think I got to talk about pie, Drew.

1:06:54 Drew All right.

1:06:54 Adam I also think we're going to play some accordion countdown.

1:06:57 Drew I was thinking about that. I was thinking about it.

1:07:00 Adam It's been a while since we've heard that Ace's Mexican Ranchero accordion countdown.

1:07:05 Drew I'm thinking a four second bet for me too.

1:07:07 Adam Oh really? Yeah. You're already already picking your number out.

1:07:10 Drew I'm feeling bold, yeah.

1:07:11 Adam Brazen is what that is, Drew. I signed during the commercial break, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Producer, Lauren came in. I actually gave you the extended dance mix on that one.

1:07:39 Drew It was nice.

1:07:39 Adam It was hot, huh? She came in and she wanted me to sign an autograph for a guy who is getting married and because of me, Oh, because of me is serving pie, a wedding pie, instead of cake. And as I've said many times, if I can change only one person, I'm going to kill myself.

1:08:02 Drew But what kind of pie?

1:08:03 Adam That's really, it's almost like nothing with tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands of people listening, just one person, kind of crappy batting average. Would that be? You know what I'm saying?

1:08:13 Drew What kind of pies are you going to present at the wedding?

1:08:16 Adam Well, I don't know because I didn't have all that information, but I served pie at my wedding and I'll tell you, it goes, people love pie. And here's what I want to say to all you cake holes over there. That's a good name. I don't want to, you know, you guys do these scenario things where you slant it your way. You go, are you telling me if I went down to Fairfax on the west side and went to the best bakery in town, spent 80 bucks on a German chocolate cake with layers, layers of boysenberry in between, that that isn't better than the one I wrestled away from the hobo that was behind the Vandy Camps Strift Store with the fecal matter on it? Come on! It's like, yeah, the $80 cake and the one with the hobo that blew a snot rocket on it that got out of the dumpster in the thrift store, yeah, it is better than that one. When we do these comparisons though, by the way, I'm no lab technician, but I'm guessing, Drew, stop me if I'm wrong, you have to just have the same $5 or $8 cake versus the same $5 or $8 pie.

1:09:32 Drew You would hope.

1:09:33 Adam Now, I'll give you $5.95. You head to any supermarket in town by yourself. One of those nice, aptly named sheet cakes with the white frosting and the lard on there. Go ahead and write your kid's name on that. I'll head over to Marie Callender, spend $5.95 on some in-season peach, maybe some strawberry, and we'll see whose goes faster when we set it out at the party. Yours, you will have a pack of cigarettes put out in yours, and they'll be sitting all over the place. The dog is going to be the only one who enjoys it. And your stupid friends. Mine, they go. I'll tell you this, too, about pie. Pie, you have to guard. Cake, you put out, everyone leaves it alone. Pie, you got to keep people away. Revo, we're not finished eating. Don't get into that yet. People start helping themselves. They come back for seconds. That's right. That's right. And again, cake, you have to distribute. Pie, people come up and get. Cake, you got to get some poor bitch to walk around. Here, have the cake. And everyone's sitting and they're eating, they're drinking, like smoking.

1:10:39 Caller No, no, I'm good.

1:10:40 Adam No, no, here, no, no. You don't get that no, no back and forth with pie. You don't have a nice piece of apple pie a la mode and put it in front of someone. No, I don't, I'm just gonna, I just set it down here. You don't get that. Cake, that's how it goes. And then the person always inevitably just sets it down. That's the compromise. I'll just put it on the arm of the sofa. They just stare at the cake for a while. You get a finger full of frosting and then you get up and walk away. That's how it works with cake. Pie, so much better. Why do people argue with me with this? And you can have wedding pie. Just go buy a bunch of pies. Buy the good ones.

1:11:15 Drew People like to decorate cakes. I think that's the bottom line.

1:11:19 Adam Right, but you can decorate plywood. It doesn't mean it tastes good.

1:11:22 Drew I know.

1:11:22 Adam It's just a nice substrate for your decorations.

1:11:26 Right.

1:11:27 Adam All right. It's a nice word there, substrate.

1:11:30 Drew Nice. Well done. I've been hanging out with smart people.

1:11:33 Adam That's my gig. All right. So everyone, let's get going with those pies now. And let me say this about pies too. About the same price they were 20 years ago. Doesn't seem like they went up much.

1:11:43 Drew What did Mr. Deliberty say with you using a word like substrate?

1:11:47 Adam Mr. Deliberty. Mr. Deliberty was my biology teacher at North Hollywood High who failed me when I was in 10th grade.

1:11:57 Drew Now you're using a word like substrate, which is what enzymes work on.

1:12:01 Adam No, really. It's also what you backer for laminate in the construction world, too, so it's not that lofty. The point is, the point is, is Mr. Deliberty failed me.

1:12:15 Drew That's what I'm saying.

1:12:16 Adam As soon as I got on the air, my pledge was I'm gonna get on the air and yell at everybody. I'm not interested in entertaining people or informing people. My pledge was to yell at everybody that ever did me wrong, the crappy bosses.

1:12:29 Drew You yelled at him on the Letterman Show, didn't you?

1:12:31 Adam I yelled at him on the Letterman Show, my personal, my family members. They're all paying. Now, after 10 years of being on the radio, I only dedicate about 40 minutes a night to it. But at the beginning, it's all yelling at people that failed me and screwed with me and fired me and dumped me and all that stuff. And Deliberty, he used to call the radio station.

1:12:53 Caller What?

1:12:54 Adam Don't you remember we'd be over at the old station and someone would come in and go, there's a guy named Mr. Delibertsky who's on the phone. And I'd be like, I don't want to talk to him because I was yelling that he wore a rug. And I thought he'd start yelling at me again. And what happened? Well, I never talked to him. And then I did our good friend Dicky Barrett's radio show about four months ago.

1:13:19 Drew Oh my God.

1:13:20 Adam And I was just yapping on his show. And all of a sudden it was like, it wasn't my show. I was a guest on someone else's show. And it's like, hey, guy named Mr. Dill Burge on the phone said he failed at him in high school. Oh, put him on. Next thing you know, he's yelling at me.

1:13:33 Drew What was he yelling?

1:13:35 Adam Well, I've been saying to him, he'd be wearing a toupee and he was an idiot. And how dare he go back to his crappy apartment in Van Nuys, driving his K-car.

1:13:42 Drew I can't believe you didn't tell me this.

1:13:44 Adam Yeah.

1:13:45 Drew I've been hearing about Deliberti for 10 years.

1:13:48 Adam Uncomfortable.

1:13:50 Drew And what did you say?

1:13:53 Adam He had a he had a decent sense of humor about the whole thing. And you know the thing that's weird about teachers? They remember everybody. He was like Corolla.

1:14:02 Drew He spent a year with you. Yeah.

1:14:04 Adam But I was all I was was big teeth, a brillo head and an F to him. And you know, he failed me and I showed up every single day of his class.

1:14:23 Drew What did he say? Did you, did you have the opportunity to get him to kiss your butt?

1:14:26 Adam No. Yeah. He told me I was a crappy student. That's about it.

1:14:30 Drew And did you, I can't believe you dig into him for how horrible, horrible the LA Unified was to you.

1:14:38 Adam I've been broken by their warehousing techniques many, many years ago.

1:14:41 Caller Wow.

1:14:42 Adam All right. Come on, Drew. Let's go. I'm getting depressed now.

1:14:45 Drew You are. It's incredible.

1:14:47 Adam Let's see. Already has C Cups still growing. 16. Gives more BJs than she wants to. Hmm. Kristen. 19.

1:14:58 Caller Yeah. Hey, guys, how's it going?

1:15:00 Adam Good. Kristen, hot name. Good name. Good name.

1:15:04 Caller Are you cute? Yeah. Well, I'm not going to be like a brat. Yeah, I'm a good looking girl.

1:15:11 Adam All right.

1:15:12 Caller Keep going. How you guys doing?

1:15:14 Drew Good. Good.

1:15:15 Adam How are you doing?

1:15:16 Caller I'm good. I'm good.

1:15:17 Adam All right. All right. What can we do for you?

1:15:20 Caller So basically, after I broke up with my last boyfriend, oh, shoot, my phone's going to die.

1:15:28 Caller Hold on.

1:15:28 Guest Of course.

1:15:30 Caller Totally convenient. When I'm not anything close to a slut, but obviously after a relationship for a long time, basically now I'm hooking up with guys.

1:15:46 Caller Excuse me.

1:15:46 Caller And my question is when it's getting like hot and heavy and say, I don't want to have sex with a guy, what do I do to kind of not seem like, sorry, my dog, pig, stop it. Like a pig?

1:16:04 Caller Yeah.

1:16:05 Guest All right.

1:16:07 Caller Sorry, she's an English bulldog. So yeah, my question is basically, how do I not, how do I stop things before having sex but if it's like really hot and heavy without it seeming like I'm a tease and then I just end up kind of giving the guy a head because I don't want to sleep with them but I don't want him to like feel like I'm just totally, I don't exactly know what to do if that makes sense.

1:16:33 Adam Wow, where was that imperative when we were dating her?

1:16:38 Drew Well, you could tell her what used to happen in the day.

1:16:41 Adam Yeah.

1:16:43 Drew Well, look.

1:16:43 Adam In the day, yeah.

1:16:44 Caller I guess I don't have like enough experience to really know how to make the correct boundaries for myself.

1:16:50 Adam All right, all right. Here's Chris and, yes, very much. Quiet down for a second. Throughout history, you just stopped when you were ready to stop and that's about it.

1:17:03 Drew You know, you guys would not claim some sort of violation of a Geneva Code. You know, you just you know, anything. Yeah, you don't know them.

1:17:11 Adam As a matter of fact, most guys felt sort of lucky that they copped a boob feel outside of a sweater.

1:17:19 Drew Right.

1:17:19 Caller Even if I'm like naked and I say no, I don't.

1:17:24 Drew Well, you maybe the boundary needs to get a little before that.

1:17:27 Adam You get naked, huh?

1:17:28 Drew See, guys.

1:17:29 Adam Well, who are these guys? And do you like them? Are you into them?

1:17:34 Caller Yeah, to a degree of not wanting to take it further than, you know, hooking up with them on a semi-frequent basis.

1:17:42 Guest But yeah.

1:17:44 Adam But what about dating? Do you want to date these guys?

1:17:48 Caller Yeah, they're guys that I am dating, but not I just it's kind of I guess maybe it's happening too quickly.

1:17:55 Adam Are you dating? Right. Are these multiple guys or these guys one week?

1:18:00 Caller It's happened over like, yeah, the past few months, but it's been sort of like the same situation. If there's a guy that I'm interested in, I've hung out with him, you know, a few times, and then it gets to that point. And then I don't know.

1:18:14 Adam Right. All right.

1:18:15 Drew Wait, how old is she?

1:18:16 Caller 19.

1:18:19 Adam Well, let me say this, Drew. First off, you should, they should really just be some sort of pump, some sort of pneumatic device that you could hook the guy up to and just go, look.

1:18:33 Drew It's time for the device. It's time for their Gasmatron.

1:18:36 Adam Look, I'm going to hook you up to their Gasmatron. It puts out about 120 PSI. It's actually the same. It's one of the same motors Wagner makes, the same one they use on their airless spray unit. A commercial unit. It'll work, and then actually there's a drain scupper. It just feeds it right outside the house. It's no big deal, though we did have to get the dog away from that area. I'm going to dance naked in front of you. I'll flip this thing on, and I won't get any fingerprints on me. You'll get what you want, and we'll call it a night. I think most guys would go for that.

1:19:15 Drew Yep.

1:19:16 Adam Yeah, they would. And it might just, because there's almost just a sort of medical mandate here. This guy has a sack full of love to give. It's been three hours of rolling around on a waterbed.

1:19:29 Drew Men manage to deal with that on their own.

1:19:32 Adam Yes, they do, on the long horse ride home.

1:19:35 Drew There's a sack full of love.

1:19:37 Adam All right, well, hold on a second, Patricia, because I want to get a little more into this. Where's my theme song, Michelle? Oh, how soon you forget what my theme song is. Look at me cross-eyed.

1:19:49 Drew We got to do some Ranchero Countdown, too.

1:19:51 Adam And we're going to play Ranchero Countdown. We got a big night. Still too much show. Too much.

1:19:57 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:19:58 Adam Too much. All right, we're going to take a little break. Forget about our theme. We'll come back with it. Well, Patricia, hang on. Oh, I'm sorry. No, wait a minute. Where was she? Kristen. Yes, Kristen. Hang on. We'll get back with you after this.

1:20:12 Caller Hello, this is your radio.

1:20:15 Caller Love Line will be right back.

1:20:42 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew in Chicago tonight. He'll be back in studio tomorrow night. When we left off, we were speaking to Kristin, Kristin 19.

1:20:56 Drew By the way, I know you could tell.

1:20:59 Adam Yeah, you could tell. And then gets naked and rolls around with guys and ends up giving them a little oral just to, you know, send them home happy. Doesn't want to do it, but doesn't want to have sex. Doesn't know what to say.

1:21:13 Drew Feels sort of obligated somehow.

1:21:15 Adam Yeah. You know what it is? You know what women have done to themselves with this? The same thing TV shows have done with the over-extravagant gift baskets. See, back in the day, you'd show up to a TV show, you do the TV show, they'd hand you a mug with the name of the TV show on it, and you'd leave happy. You could go home, and I got the mug. Look at that, says Terry Bradshaw right on it. Awesome. Awesome. Now, you got to get a Walkman, you got to get a little iPod in there, you got a little Pashmina going, you got to get thing for prescription for Lasik surgery and all that stuff, especially these award shows, there's like 20 grand worth of stuff in one of those baskets. So now they've raised a bar, and now if you don't have a basket, you're just an a-hole. By the same token, you don't give a guy a BJ, you're an a-hole.

1:22:08 Drew Right, right.

1:22:09 Adam Back in the day, guys didn't expect a BJ when they went out on a date, even if they started making out and rolling around.

1:22:15 Drew Right.

1:22:16 Adam The fact that she takes her clothes off, though, does not make it any easier for her.

1:22:20 Drew No, it doesn't make it easier for her, but the BJ in a way is sort of a diabolical way of avoiding having sex, too.

1:22:27 Adam Yeah. But one man's trash is another man's treasure, Drew. I was just saying.

1:22:31 Drew I'm just saying.

1:22:32 Adam He and Drew's either so gay or so straight, he doesn't like BJs, but he does not speak for moi. Kristen? Yeah. Okay. So we would first suggest not getting to the point where you get naked and sort of roll around.

1:22:50 Drew Yeah. They certainly don't have an obligation to do that. Okay.

1:22:54 Caller Well, it's not that I necessarily feel it's an obligation. I don't feel that's an obligation, but it's that I'm enjoying that whole process.

1:23:05 Adam Yeah. For you, it's about enjoying the attention this guy's paying to you and I'll tell you what's driving that attention. It's his sack that's going to explode like a pomegranate left in the sun after it falls off a high tree. Yes, Drew?

1:23:23 Drew Yes, Adam. Well done.

1:23:25 Adam Graphic.

1:23:25 Caller How does that connect to my attention when I'm in your... I'm confused.

1:23:30 Adam Well, okay. We'll put her on hold again. Drew, stop me if I'm wrong. All right, go ahead. For women, I mean, women enjoy the physical contact too, but they love the whole process like, hey, this guy is into me, he is all over me, he is... I've never seen a guy more attentive.

1:23:47 Drew And when the feeling of all that too, the feeling...

1:23:49 Adam Yeah, it feels great to have this guy that is working so hard to please me and he's so attentive. Guys are... Oh, look, here's how guys are. Hate to draw the dog analogy, but here's how guys are. I have a dog that really thinks it's a cat. I mean, it has no idea who I am, doesn't pay me any attention, doesn't get up and greet me, doesn't do any of that thing.

1:24:13 Drew That's your dog?

1:24:15 Adam Yeah, nice dog, nice dog, but emotionally abusive. Let's not kid ourselves. You know, it's like, Molly, come here. Molly just go... She'd rather lie down in the hallway than come sit up on the sofa and watch TV with me.

1:24:28 Drew Wow.

1:24:29 Adam Now, oh, until it's time to eat. Oh, now I get myself a nice, nice meal, nice chunk of lasagna and I'm watching TV. All of a sudden the dog's on me.

1:24:38 Drew The guys are like, Molly.

1:24:41 Adam That's why they are.

1:24:42 Drew Yeah.

1:24:43 Adam All of a sudden, and it kind of feels good. It's like, oh, look at her. She's putting her, she puts her head on my thigh and kind of snuggles with me. And she's trying to get closer to the food, but it feels kind of good. Like she's up on the sofa. She's just paying attention. She's attentive.

1:24:58 Drew She's attentive like crazy. Look at you like a laser beam.

1:25:02 Adam Right.

1:25:02 Drew Sniffing you.

1:25:03 Adam Looking, and she's gonna give me the big brown eyes and everything. Okay, that's cause I'm eating.

1:25:08 Drew Right.

1:25:08 Adam They want something that I have.

1:25:10 Drew Right.

1:25:10 Adam That's how guys are in the bedroom.

1:25:13 Drew Yep.

1:25:13 Adam And especially on the first few dates. And for the women, they don't necessarily get that kind of attentive behavior from guys. All of a sudden, they got a nice chunk of lasagna and it feels pretty good. Now, at the end of soaking up all of Molly's love, I feel bad if I don't give her a wedge of lasagna.

1:25:31 Drew Right.

1:25:32 Adam Because she put in the work. I'm not going to give her the whole thing. I'll just cut a little piece off the side, let her eat that.

1:25:38 Drew The reality is what's good for Molly is just to let her be.

1:25:42 Adam Or learn.

1:25:43 Drew Then, by the way, she start coming to you more when you didn't have food.

1:25:46 Adam She'll learn to be attentive when I'm not eating.

1:25:48 Drew That's right.

1:25:49 Adam Right. Right. And when I say-

1:25:52 Drew Perfect analogy now.

1:25:54 Adam And I hope you understood when I said piece, corner of lasagna, I meant perform oral on the dog. I hope that was clear.

1:26:04 Drew Of course.

1:26:05 Adam Okay. I just didn't know if it was confusing or not. No, no, no. Okay. Okay. Okay.

1:26:10 Drew You're weird now, Adam. Come on.

1:26:12 Adam Sorry. I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in, Drew. So, so Kristen likes the attention and then feels like, well, after three hours of rolling around and getting this affection and attention and physical stimulation as well, I got to repay that. I got to pay the fiddler.

1:26:29 Drew Yeah.

1:26:29 Adam Right, Kristen?

1:26:30 Caller I actually, from a girl's perspective, and I'm sure you guys have had, you know, so many others, but that's not really how I feel about it.

1:26:39 Drew How do you feel?

1:26:39 Adam All right.

1:26:40 Caller Tell us how you feel. It's more, because, well, for example, say, last weekend, this is kind of what prompted my question about it, was there was a guy that I was hooking up with, and to be honest, like, the whole process wasn't as enjoyable as, he wasn't really putting in as much work as I guess I would have liked, or I think it's like everyone's had an experience where it's just not, it's not mentioned correctly, and, you know, maybe they think they're doing a good job, but things are coming off faster, and there's not really that, they kind of, I think women like things with at least a little bit of pace, so that you enjoy it, and-

1:27:26 Adam Did you still give him a BJ?

1:27:28 Caller Yes, but that was-

1:27:30 Adam This is like-

1:27:31 Caller But see, that's amazing, if I want to stop, I don't want to be-

1:27:33 Adam It's like tipping when you get horrible service. It's a bad message.

1:27:37 Caller And I'm a big tipper, even if I have horrible service.

1:27:40 Adam Thanks.

1:27:41 Drew Do you dad an alcoholic? Are you codependent?

1:27:43 Caller Oh, God, no. Not even close.

1:27:45 Caller I just don't-

1:27:46 Caller I guess I sometimes overcompensate by being nice instead of being mean.

1:27:51 Drew Not mean, just being assertive and reading the whole boundary.

1:27:53 Adam It's not mean to have a guy you're not- you know, don't know all that well, not to perform oral sex on him. I mean-

1:27:59 Caller So you just-

1:28:01 Caller and like when the condom like that thing like ripped and I was like, no, this is not happening. And he was like, why? Why not? Like, and I was like, I don't want it to happen. What condom? I genuinely feel bad about the fact that- because I've heard that blue balls, that expression is like very painful and I feel like-

1:28:19 Adam My cousin died from it.

1:28:20 Caller It's my possibility to leave them on.

1:28:22 Adam Cousin Greg exploded way back in his girlfriend house in 1979.

1:28:26 Drew Homogram it again.

1:28:27 Adam Family still talks about it.

1:28:29 Drew I bet.

1:28:29 Adam Well, they don't talk about it during the holidays.

1:28:31 Drew That's why they stopped talking.

1:28:33 Adam Toughest part was cleaning the headliner of the car. It was interesting. Oh, 78, 79 Genos.

1:28:38 Drew Oh, humanity.

1:28:40 Adam It's tough. Wait a minute, Kristen, what about the part where the condom broke?

1:28:45 Caller No, not broke. The wrapper was like open. And that was just like he had that down pack right from his...

1:28:51 Drew You're going, you're going, Chris, I just think you're going way too far into this generally. You're getting yourself in bad situations. You just, you got to, you got to... Guys, when they get some momentum going, it's very difficult to slow them down. You got to just, just for your own good and for everybody's, just slow it up a little bit.

1:29:08 Adam I still didn't get the condom part of the whole thing.

1:29:11 Drew I think that he whipped it out. He broke it out basically. And she said, this isn't happening.

1:29:15 Adam Oh, but you gave him a little oral.

1:29:17 Drew Right.

1:29:18 Adam Oh, I want to kill these guys. I got a long list.

1:29:22 Drew They have no idea either. They have no idea.

1:29:24 Adam You know what? But though, like one day they're going to find me on top of some 18 year old, just beating the bejesus out of him. And they're going to be like, what happened? And I'm just going to be like, this one's for TiVo. I had to sit home and watch Mod. It's my mom. This one's for Oral. This one's for iPods. This one's for you figuring out your favorite celebrity and finding enlarged pictures of her vagina on the Internet. Just punching her name in there. It's going nuts just being the crap out of an 18-year-old guy. All right. Let's play, Drew.

1:30:12 Drew Ranchero Countdown.

1:30:13 Adam Let's play Ace's Mexican Ranchero Courting Countdown.

1:30:16 Drew I told you, I have a bold bet to lay down.

1:30:17 Adam It's been too long. The person that's really the driving force behind it, engineer is Michelle, who's here, who basically has a library of ranchero music because she hates herself and does weddings. Baby, you're doing the wrong weddings if you're packing the ranchero. But she's going to play us a snippet. We pick a random ranchero song, random spot, we hit it, and we figure out how long before the accordion comes in. Drew, you say four seconds?

1:30:50 Drew Four seconds.

1:30:52 Adam I'm going to say two seconds. All right. Pretty good.

1:30:58 Drew All right.

1:30:59 Adam All right. You ready, Michelle? Yep. Three, two, one, go. Oh, that's immediate.

1:31:08 Drew That was absolutely instantaneous.

1:31:11 Adam I, by the way, I don't know if this is possible, Drew, as you know, I failed biology in high school. I think that I actually heard accordion music before she hit the button.

1:31:20 Drew Adam, I was going to say the same thing.

1:31:22 Adam Yeah. Turn it up a little.

1:31:24 Drew This is a new bet. That was the same weird stuff on this one, guys.

1:31:35 Adam Now, let's all just do the math and figure out how the space program is going in that part of the world. Let me explain what you do to this music. Nothing. You do nothing. You get high, and you get drunk, and you eat. This music, if this is sort of the theme of your country, it's like, all right, listen, we got to sit down, and we got to come up with a hydroelectric dam so that we can start producing cheap fuel efficient... Who wants a beer? Anyone need a beer? Who wants a cold one? Jesus, it's nice outside. Let's get out. Let's go out and crack. Let's grab a cold one. Let's take a break. Let's take a break.

1:32:19 Drew Yeah.

1:32:20 Adam It doesn't matter. Listen, fellas, I will not rest until we plant the Mexican flag on the moon. Now, what it's going to take is it's going to take a propulsion system. It's a system that's going to be able to power a vehicle outside of the confines of the Earth's gravity. Who could use a cold one, though? I'm parched. What time is it?

1:32:47 Caller Nine a.m.?

1:32:49 Adam Christ, I don't have a buzz. What's got to be 80 outside? Hey, you know, the Yellowtail are running. Let's get out there. Come on. Let's do some fishing.

1:33:00 Drew Let's go.

1:33:01 Adam That's what happens.

1:33:02 Drew What are we doing here anyway? What are we talking about?

1:33:05 Adam I don't know, Drew.

1:33:06 Drew All right.

1:33:06 Adam I'm explaining why you can't invent anything with ranchero music playing behind you.

1:33:11 Drew I get it.

1:33:11 Adam You can only drink. That's all you can do.

1:33:14 Drew And go to the beach.

1:33:14 Adam You can cook and drink, go to the beach. So I think we gotta get some classical music over there. Get that economy back on its feet.

1:33:21 Drew How do you ever get your house rebuilt? You guys listen to that all day long. That may be the whole problem, dude.

1:33:27 Caller Oh, that's a lesson.

1:33:29 Adam They throw barbecues at my house. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding, Drew?

1:33:34 Drew I've tasted it.

1:33:35 Adam No, they're proud people and they know they're stucco. We're gonna take ourselves a quick break. We'll be right back after this. We'll be right back. Yeah, I still got it. Tell you what. Dr. Drew, otherwise known as the Chi Town Hustler out in Chicago tonight. He's going to be back in studio tomorrow night. Drew. Yeah. We say we hop back on the phones.

1:34:25 Drew Good idea, buddy.

1:34:27 Adam All right. I'm going to go with someone who's sleepwalking. Chris, 20.

1:34:32 Caller Hey, how's it going, guys?

1:34:34 Adam What's up?

1:34:35 Caller I just have this problem. It hasn't been happening lately, but in the past when I've drank too much, there's been about four or five times where I've sleptwalked and not remembered anything. And this has led to embarrassing situations. Like what? Well, one time I was spending the night at my friend's apartment in San Francisco, and he lives with his sister. I wake up the next morning with a shoe box filled with some artwork that she had done, some like molding stuff. I don't know what it was, but I wake up with it next to me and it's kind of wet, and she comes into the room and asks me if I remember anything. And as it turns out, I went into her room late at night and urinated in it. And then she showed me the bathroom, but I just didn't remember any of that. And there's been other situations.

1:35:25 Adam Yeah, that's good.

1:35:26 Drew That's a typical thing guys do when they've been drinking, is they go and pee on stuff.

1:35:30 Caller Well, yeah, but I mean, in someone else's room.

1:35:33 Drew I'm just saying that's a typical thing. And that's so you don't drink so much.

1:35:36 Caller Yeah, yeah. I mean, I've definitely cut it down. I was just wondering, like, was there something wrong with me or?

1:35:41 Drew No, that is not an uncommon. I'm telling you, it's not an uncommon thing.

1:35:44 Adam Drew, what about your college roommate?

1:35:46 Drew Yeah, a college friend who was actually a next door neighbor, two doors down, who got up middle of the night. Instead of going to the bathroom, he walked over to his turntable. Back in the day, there was something called a record player.

1:35:57 Adam I think they use them to scratch now.

1:35:59 Drew Right. They would have these plastic covers on them that had a lid, basically. He lifted the lid and it was always on a stack of equipment. It was about toilet height. He'd lift the lid and peed all on his equipment and went back to bed.

1:36:13 Adam Yeah. I hope Kenny Rogers in the first edition was on there when he did that.

1:36:35 Drew All right.

1:36:36 Adam All right. You know what, man?

1:36:39 Drew You are so uptight. I'm not enough.

1:36:41 Adam You are so uptight, brother.

1:36:43 Drew Anyway, so that kind of sleepwalking is not something that needs to be investigated further than then because there's booze involved. It's pretty clearly a booze related incident. And you know, that's what they're going to tell you. You don't drink. Now, whether this is part of alcoholism or not remains to be seen.

1:36:58 Adam Kristen. Oh, we already talked to Kristen. Hang up, baby. We're done with you. Take it easy with these guys. Slow it down. Reel it in. Please. All right. All right. All right. Let's see. I'm going to talk to Patricia. Patricia.

1:37:15 Yeah.

1:37:16 Adam What's up, baby doll? You're 17.

1:37:18 Caller Yeah, I need your guys' advice. Well, my ex-boyfriend cheated on me with his ex-girlfriend and he got her pregnant and then he married her without telling me. And then I was pregnant. And then when I found out he was married and I broke up with him, he didn't want to help me pay for the abortion.

1:37:38 Adam Oh, you got pregnant, too?

1:37:40 Caller Yeah, I was I was 17 weeks.

1:37:43 Adam That's a new game we're we're playing called Jew or Asian. It's tough, Drew. I know it's gotta be one or the other, but I'm just not sure.

1:37:53 Caller Oh, hmm.

1:37:55 Adam I'm going to you. Are you Jewish, Patricia?

1:37:57 Caller No.

1:37:58 Adam Then you must be Asian.

1:38:00 Caller No.

1:38:01 Caller What?

1:38:02 Adam I don't believe it. What are you?

1:38:05 Caller I'm half Hispanic, half white.

1:38:07 Adam Shocking. All right. Well, Drew, I gotta I gotta recalibrate. So I'm way off now.

1:38:13 Drew What's the question? What's the question?

1:38:15 Adam Well, what is the question?

1:38:17 Drew The horrible guy. What's the problem?

1:38:18 Caller Well, I just don't think it's fair that I had to pay for it all because I had to borrow the money from my brother-in-law. So like, what could I do to like make him help me pay for it?

1:38:27 Drew Like, first of all, you should count your blessings. This guy's out of your life. Are you kidding me?

1:38:32 Caller Yeah.

1:38:33 Drew You should be so thankful. Anything you do to rekindle any kind of relation with him, even if it's on a legal status, it's you still dancing with that guy. Let it go. Just count your blessings. He's out of your life and keep him out of your life.

1:38:48 Adam How much was the abortion?

1:38:51 Caller It was 820.

1:38:52 Adam Wow. I could have got it for 775. Yeah, I could have got you a deal.

1:38:59 Caller Oh yeah?

1:39:00 Adam Yeah, talk to me next time. Hey, Patricia. Yeah, this is, I know it sounds like a lot of money when you're 17 and actually when I was 30, it still sounded like a lot of money because I'm a loser, but this guy's out of your life. So is his demon seed. Move forward, learn. It would be worth every penny of that 800 bucks if you learn a lesson from this. Hook up with good guys, stay in school, do all that good stuff. You learn your lesson. Now move forward or you learn nothing. That's what all this stuff is worth, everybody. The lesson part. People are like, I got screwed. I'm out money. I didn't get no, no, no. If you don't do it again, it's worth a million dollars.

1:39:43 Drew That's right.

1:39:44 Adam Thank you, my brother. We'll take a break. We'll be right back after this. Yeah. Well, that's the show, everybody. Dr. Drew and the Flash tomorrow night.

1:40:27 Drew Indeed.

1:40:28 Adam We listened to Well Condition, My Condition was in a second time, me and Michelle.

1:40:33 Drew I'm so happy for you. We were jamming.

1:40:35 Adam It was as groovy, if not more, than the first go-round.

1:40:39 Drew Oh, boy.

1:40:42 Adam Thanks, you.

1:40:43 Caller Now, this is wonderful.

1:40:48 Adam We're gonna, someone else, Drew, doesn't know it, but we're gonna take ourselves a little extendo break. We'll be right back, same time, same place, tomorrow night. So until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo. Like, honey, you want eggs or cereal for breakfast? And sunny side up or base? Alrighty then. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold.

1:41:27 Caller Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, April 27, 2005