Episode 1000705096045

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

1:01 Loveline may contain sex-

1:02 Adam No, it said uncredited. And her job was reported on the floor. I got to find something here. Here we go, everybody. Travis. This is Loveline. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Dr. Drew is a board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Travis Barker is here tonight, along with his beautiful bride, Shanna, from Meet the Barkers, which I have been watching. Yes, I have.

1:36 Guest What do you guys think? I can't wait to hear this.

1:39 Adam Well, what do I think?

1:40 Drew We've known you for a long time, Travis. Whatever, come on.

1:42 Adam I'm not. It's just how I pictured you.

1:46 Guest Yeah?

1:46 Adam Yeah.

1:46 Guest Seriously?

1:47 Adam Yeah. Travis is, I saw the one where you guys got drunk and vomited and were heading to the Teen Choice Awards. Yeah. That was awesome. Driving through In-N-Out. They pulled a real power move too. They were in a limo and they were on their way to the Teen Choice Awards and they said to the driver, and Drew, you would have never had to wave us to do this, can you pull through the In-N-Out? And then when they pulled through the In-N-Out, they said to the guy, could you front us 20 bucks?

2:12 Guest We didn't have no money.

2:13 No, we only had a $100 bill and In-N-Out won't break $100 bills. So we needed like a $20 bill as the problem.

2:20 Guest I wasn't surprised if we didn't have any money that morning. You know what I mean? Like that's happened before too. But you know those mornings, like the next day, and mind you, I hadn't thrown up since I was 12 and it was from like the flu, you know? So this is my first big throw up from alcohol.

2:32 Adam You haven't thrown up from booze?

2:34 No, like I like to smoke.

2:36 Guest That was my thing. You know, drinking came later. Like her and I developed a little drinking habit.

2:42 Adam Well now, how old are you now, Travis?

2:44 Guest I'm 29.

2:45 Adam 29 in your first vomit from booze?

2:48 Drew Yep.

2:49 Guest Well done.

2:50 Adam Now what do you think the over or under on Travis's first vomit from booze?

2:55 Drew What age?

2:56 Adam What age? You would have said 13.

2:57 Drew Yeah, 13, 12, something like that.

2:58 Adam 12, 13. But 29, he made it to.

3:01 Guest No, I did different things when I was 13 that were way worse. That I turned green and got rushed to the hospital for.

3:07 Adam But still never vomited?

3:08 Guest No, no vomiting.

3:09 Adam Wow. All right. By the way, Drew, let me ask you about vomiting. You know people, they're fine their whole career, and all of a sudden, their shoulder pops out a socket, and then it pops out four months later.

3:21 Drew Is vomiting the same way?

3:22 Adam It loosens up. Are they loosened up now? Can they vomit more?

3:25 Drew They're in the vomit realm.

3:26 Adam So it's game on with the vomit? All right. Shanna and, now let's see, the other episode, I've seen a few of, how many have aired? Four?

3:36 Guest You see my beautiful wife modeling?

3:38 Adam Yeah, I saw the Playboy.

3:39 Oh, he's putting it on now, boys.

3:41 Oh, no.

3:43 Adam I saw Shanna down modeling her clothing line, I guess, or putting her clothing on models Yes. over at the Playboy pictorial place over there.

3:56 Studios, yeah, Studio West.

3:57 Adam Yes, which I've been to, Drew.

3:59 It's fun, huh? They have all those cool centerfolds.

4:02 Adam They got a little segment called Something for the Ladies, and it was just me and a banana hammock. Back at the Man Show, I got a lot of positive notices on.

4:09 Drew That's sort of your Burt Reynolds pose, nice.

4:11 Adam Yeah. Couldn't tell where the rug ended and I started.

4:14 Drew Then all of a sudden, there's your torso.

4:16 Adam Yes. You guys, all right, so what else? Let's see, you got the kids, got the, although I got to say we're watching the show and we saw the kid with the semi-mohawk and my wife was not pleased. She said, no, you don't give a child a mohawk.

4:29 Drew He was actually skinned.

4:32 Guest No, no, he has a good old-fashioned traditional mohawk if you put it up. But I mean, he's one, I'm not going to put hairspray on the kid.

4:38 Adam Right, right.

4:38 Guest We do it once in a while.

4:39 Drew That's where he draws the line out of, how dare you.

4:40 Caller Holidays, holidays, we put it up. Yeah.

4:42 Drew But no hairspray.

4:43 Adam Well, Drew, I've said this many, many times, if and when I have kids, I'm just going to buzz them twice a year until they're like five and then they can start doing their thing. But why get into, you don't want head lice and all that crap chewing gum in there and twigs. It just buzzes it off.

5:02 Drew Girls, boys doesn't matter.

5:03 Adam Yeah. You don't need to pay. You can take the kid to Fantastic Sam's and pay $9.

5:08 Guest Yeah. We do it at home together. You give him a lollipop and he has no problems.

5:13 Adam I wish my folks would have done that, would have cared enough to give me a mohawk. Yeah. All right. So Wednesday nights, 10 o'clock, what's going on with Blink 182? Are they broken up, hiatus? What's up?

5:26 Guest It's kind of a wrap for right now.

5:28 Adam Is there-

5:29 Guest It's transplants time. It was always transplants time. It was planned for years.

5:34 Adam Right.

5:34 Guest But four years ago, we took a break and Tom and I did Boxcar.

5:39 Adam Right.

5:39 Guest Now, four years later, Mark and I are doing a project called Plus 44. Tom will probably do a solo project.

5:46 Adam I have a really big dick.

5:50 Guest Maybe we'll come back and make more rap music.

5:53 Adam But everyone's cool?

5:55 Guest Yeah, absolutely. No one's mad at each other, like no bitterness or anger.

5:59 Adam I wonder financially, people don't think it's a good idea to break up the band, but you take a few years off and then you make your big comeback.

6:09 Drew Especially when you got another thing going.

6:11 Adam Yeah, from these band mates, and then you make a good comeback. Yeah. All right. Where were we, Drew? What was I thinking about?

6:20 Drew I don't know.

6:21 Adam Let me tell you guys. Do you guys hate getting up in the morning? I saw your show. It's horrible. It's the one thing I can never get used to.

6:31 Drew It's because we never get enough sleep. The mornings are great. It's just if you sleep.

6:36 Adam No, but not getting sleep in four hours. But here's what I'm saying in life. There are a lot of things from Brock a Flower to doing your work that you couldn't tolerate many years ago, but you're used to it now as an adult. You've overcame. But getting up early is as painful as it was the first day I had to do it to go to schools as it was this morning when Bernie Mac or I had to do the Bernie Mac show today. I was doing two days. They gave me no call time, so I went to bed at my usual 2.45. Phone rang at 6.45 this morning.

7:15 Drew And you didn't have the phone off the hook or the ringer off?

7:18 Adam I did have the ringer off.

7:19 Caller See, I feel your pain, but Trav gets up at like the crack of dawn and he's already exercised and did God's work.

7:26 Guest Vomited, vomited.

7:28 Caller Work? No, he's run like companies. He's doing record labels and band stuff and his clothing label. And by the time I wake up for lunch.

7:35 Adam He's so much more man than I am. I get it. I'm a puss.

7:38 Guest No, but it does suck. It does suck if you don't get enough sleep.

7:41 Caller I hate getting up in the morning. I hate it.

7:42 Drew How did you get up if no phone ringer?

7:45 Adam Well, because here's what happened. You know, remember I said the Bernie Mac set is a pretty laid back set? They're so god damn laid back, they never called me the day before and gave me a call time. And my call time was 6:30 a.m. at Griffith Park.

7:59 Drew No.

8:00 Adam Yes. Phone rang at 10 to 7 and I figured I could hear it in the distance. I figured something, something must be up. I woke up as my agent. He said, where are you? It's like, do you have to ask where someone is by the way, at 6.45 in the morning?

8:15 Drew When you answer at your home, that he called. Am I?

8:18 Adam I'm fly fishing. I'm in Vermont. What do you mean, where am I? I'm in bed. I got a boner. I'm not going anywhere. It's dark outside. What do you mean, where am I? Oh, it's 6.30. No one ever called me. Well, they need you. There's 80 extras doing a marathon scene, the whole trucks, the whole lights. Everyone's just sitting there waiting for me in the first scene. I look like the world's biggest a-hole rolling in at a quarter to eight. No one ever told me. But I'll tell you something that's good. You know what's better? We got to invent this.

8:45 Drew That to me is like the worst dream I could ever have. Do you ever have bad dreams when people don't know your lines or hit you with... I can't even tolerate thinking about what you did.

8:56 Adam Well, here's the thing, and I still think it's better. If you go to bed, like I do, at 2.30 every night, and you have to get up at 5.30 or 6 to make a 7 a.m. flight, it's better just to have the phone ring and wake you up and have that adrenaline surge and hit the ground running than it is to go to bed with the knowledge that you're only going to get a few hours' sleep if you keep looking at the clock. How do we do that? How do we invent that alarm clock?

9:22 Drew The one that gives, actually, the one that injects you with adrenaline.

9:25 Adam Yes. All right.

9:26 Drew Maybe electric shock.

9:27 Adam No, no, no. It just erases your mind. You can't know that you're going to wake up.

9:32 Guest It wakes up and masturbates.

9:34 Adam Really?

9:34 Guest Yeah, and it clears your head.

9:36 Adam I'm all papped from before going to bed. That's my problem.

9:40 Guest You've got to switch it up sometimes.

9:42 Adam I'm not 29 anymore, Travis. I get a little refractive.

9:44 Guest No, no, no. I can, though, but no, I don't.

9:47 Drew Oh, impressive.

9:48 Guest I did when I broke my hand, though.

9:50 Drew Oh, you got to. Oh, Adam's been worried about that. He's always afraid he's going to break his hand.

9:54 Adam No, I over-

9:55 Guest You know what? It feels like someone else is touching you for the first couple of weeks while you get used to using your new hand.

10:01 Adam I dig these, someone else touching you. The problem is it's a dude's hand. I think I'm getting raped in prison. That's the way I look at it. You know what I'm saying?

10:11 Drew I'm just thinking how poor Shanna doesn't know how men work.

10:14 Adam No.

10:14 Drew Freely expose this for the first time.

10:15 Adam She does not, but I imagine Travis as a drummer would be pretty good on his stick with either hand. Yeah, you got to be good with both hands and the foot. You got to be able to do that.

10:27 Caller Good rhythm.

10:28 Adam Travis, can you sing and drum?

10:31 Guest I've never tried.

10:33 Adam I'm always amazed at the guys who sing and drum. I just go, hey, hey, hey, hey. You could do it, drum.

10:40 Drew I would play the piano when singing too. It would be hard.

10:42 Adam Yeah, but drumming is just like, I don't know. So physical. Yeah, physical. All right. Wednesday Nights, 10 o'clock, everyone. I'm trying to think what other episodes I've seen.

10:50 Drew It's going to be a comedy with my show.

10:51 Adam Drew, what's your show?

10:52 Drew Wednesday Night, 10 o'clock.

10:54 Adam No one's going to watch it.

10:55 Caller Oh, shit.

10:56 Guest Hey, what show is that?

10:57 Drew I got a show at Discovery Health Channel starting in June.

10:59 Adam Oh, awesome.

11:00 Guest Congratulations.

11:01 Adam Different demo. Here's the deal. You two will divide the country right down the middle.

11:07 Drew You're right. We'll share.

11:08 Adam Yeah, $145 million will watch a Drew show and $145 million will watch Meet the Barkers.

11:15 Drew That would be great. But I got to have you guys on my show and you can promote your show and we'll share. Oh, absolutely.

11:21 Guest Absolutely.

11:22 Adam Now, are you guys out in Orange County?

11:25 Guest No, no, no. We live in Los Angeles.

11:27 Adam Oh, really?

11:28 Guest Yes, sir. LA proper? Yeah. We I moved here like right when we got pregnant, like right before we had land and I moved here and I never left.

11:36 Adam I can we'll talk off there because I'm trying to figure out where their house is because I see it. I see it on the show. I don't want to tell on the air what street or anything.

11:44 Guest I'll tell you afterwards.

11:45 Adam We'll find out. And also.

11:47 Drew You thought it was Orange County.

11:49 Adam Well, I had that vibe.

11:50 Drew Yeah, I would say it's nowhere in Los Angeles I can think of that looks like Orange County.

11:52 Adam I was I also well, things were neat and clean.

11:58 Drew Yeah, no, it's Orange County.

11:59 Adam Yeah, like I pull up to my house and there's a bum on fire every night. That's how I know where my house is. I tell people there's no address. Look for the flaming bum. You urinate on and put them out and then you just honk the horn open the gate. It's how it works. Look for the flaming bum. Bum. Bum. All right. Where were we?

12:18 Drew Taking calls.

12:19 Adam Oh, yeah. But no, I wanted to say one other thing. Oh, I also saw Travis. I sort of sound like a stocker now, but I think I was watching Cribs the other night and it was the car. It was the whips and dubs and rides version. And Travis was out looking at Maybach.

12:35 Caller It's a lot of airtime. That's old.

12:37 Guest So many people come up to me and talk to us about that though. It's so funny.

12:40 Adam It is old because I saw it like two years ago too, I think. Yeah, me too. I saw it last night. But he was looking at the Maybach and he was looking at Lamborghini.

12:53 Caller He just got a new Cadillac, actually, a 76.

12:55 Guest Yeah, I got a 76 El Dorado.

12:57 Adam Oh, really?

12:58 Guest The condition has like 6,000 original miles.

13:01 Adam 6,000 original miles?

13:03 Guest We take the family out and it's awesome.

13:04 Adam What color? What color is it?

13:05 Guest It's white.

13:06 Adam Red interior?

13:07 Guest It's white with red interior.

13:08 Adam Nice. Oh, that's perfect. It's the way to go.

13:11 Guest That's like my daily driver right now. That's all I drive.

13:13 Caller You take Sunday drives.

13:14 Adam So you never bought any Maybachs or Diablos?

13:17 Guest Here's my thing. I really, really, really am passionately in love with the Phantom, but I feel like a jerk owning that car, you know? Until I've bought like every one of my family, everyone I love, everyone who needs help, like cars, I don't feel right having one of those.

13:33 Adam Oh, really?

13:33 Drew I like that.

13:34 Guest I don't know.

13:34 Adam I'd buy one in Brody on my dad's lawn.

13:38 Guest But that's a mean car. I love that car.

13:41 Adam It looks good. Gwen?

13:45 Drew Seventeen?

13:46 Adam You're seventeen?

13:47 Yeah.

13:47 Adam What's up?

13:49 Basically, I have, oh, by the way, Dr. Drew, I saw you on Friday.

13:55 Drew Oh, Friday.

13:58 Santa Monica, I yelled, what's up, Dr. Drew?

14:00 Drew Oh, yeah, thanks, that was fun. I felt the commercial.

14:02 Adam Never heard that before.

14:05 Basically, I was just wondering, because all you guys talk about is what sluts guys are in hell, all they want is ass and, can I say ass?

14:14 Adam No.

14:15 Go ahead. Sorry. All right. So, the flip there, and basically, I was hooking up with my boyfriend, and I went to do what every good girlfriend should, and he said to not do it.

14:32 Adam No, are you talking about oral sex?

14:34 Yeah.

14:35 Caller You know, Travis said that to me too.

14:37 Adam No way.

14:37 Guest Yeah, in the beginning, I was like, yo, I don't really like oral sex. I love foreplay, but I don't want to have oral sex. It doesn't do anything for me.

14:47 Caller It just took the right girl.

14:48 Guest She did some magic with her mouth, and things changed, and now I love it.

14:52 Caller Now he's like a monster in success.

14:54 Guest Yeah, some guys don't get off on it, though, you know? I didn't get off on it.

14:57 Drew You can't stop him now.

14:58 Guest I didn't get off on it for 15 years, you know?

15:01 Adam He's an animal.

15:02 Caller Some guys just need, I think, a little coercing or just relaxing and to get it, because some guys, I think, get really nervous.

15:09 Adam Yeah, and that's how I am when Miss USA 1995. She's got a bag. Just a please ain't going to do it.

15:17 Drew Maybe you can coach Travis on how to receive.

15:19 Adam Oh, boy. I'll tell you.

15:21 Drew Wait, wait, listen.

15:21 Adam I'll tell you what, Travis, I don't like to brag. I mean, you do your thing, that's fine. You do your little thing on the drums, whatever, MTV. No one receives Oral like the Ace man. A lot of guys brag on how they can pleasure a woman. That ain't my bag. My bag is receiving and I say nobody does it better. Nobody, Drew. If there's a guy who can receive Oral better than me, bring him on. I haven't met him. I'll tell you that. I'll take on all comers as they ridiculously say. I'll show you some of my moves. Here's the thing, I don't push too hard. I just lean back like this.

15:59 Caller Behold, behold. There it is.

16:02 Adam Then I might toss in one of these.

16:03 Caller The visuals right now.

16:05 Adam Once in a while, just throwing a, oh yeah.

16:08 Caller Okay, guys, really.

16:09 Adam See what I'm saying? Yeah, top that.

16:12 Guest At that point, do they stop giving you a blowjob?

16:14 Adam No, no. He keeps going. I mean, they...

16:19 Guest He keeps going.

16:19 Adam No, it goes. She'll go. Yeah, Drew. That's my form. Travis. Here's the thing about Travis. So surprising. You would have figured he would have vomited from booze by the time he got out of grade school, and you would have figured he was a huge fan of oral sex. But as it turns out...

16:41 Guest Nay.

16:41 Adam Nay.

16:42 Guest No, now I am though. But I have to say, for 15 years, I wanted nothing to do with it. I just wanted to get down. I didn't want you doing it, you know what I mean? I didn't know the girls, but if it's your old lady...

16:54 Adam Right.

16:54 Guest Yeah. I spent 10 years of just not having a girlfriend and being promiscuous. But now that I have an old lady, I don't know, you learn to love other things that you didn't know about.

17:03 Adam To me, being in a rock band and being on the road and getting a little BJ, that to me, that's why I would start the band. Call. We'd be called the BJ receiver. That would be the whole name of the band. Busby shaped like a giant penis.

17:20 Drew We'd be short of the receivers eventually.

17:24 Adam Yeah, we'd be called the receivers. That's not a bad name for a band.

17:27 Guest The receivers.

17:27 Adam Is there a receivers?

17:28 Guest Absolutely. I don't think so.

17:30 Adam I know what the ladies like. They like giving me oral. Whose clothing line is it? Is it Shanna's or Travis's?

17:39 Guest I started my clothing line in 1999 and I was always designing the girl stuff as well as the guy stuff. And then when Shanna and I got together, it just kind of like organically happened. Like she had a bunch of ideas.

17:50 Caller So I turned over the girl stuff.

17:53 Guest And mind you, I was in doing a rad job designing girl's clothes, you know? Yeah, but she kills it. Like she really excels.

17:59 Adam It was bold, I guess, to even do it. Most people, you know, most guys just do t-shirts and shorts and stuff for other guys, right?

18:07 Guest Yeah. You know what? They're like, it's so like my clothing line is it's like it's an outlet for me. Like it's so different than all like the band stuff. Like I love fashion. I love Versace, Dolce & Gabbana. I love Chanel. I love Gucci.

18:21 Adam Don't take this the wrong way, but you wear the same shirt every single day.

18:25 Guest I know. But am I a scumbag? Absolutely. You know what I mean? But am I inspired and am I influenced by that stuff? Yeah.

18:31 Adam So you're like a guy who loves art that has no paintings in your house.

18:35 Caller Oh, he's painting.

18:35 Guest No, I have a lot of paintings. No, but some stuff like that, yeah. I mean, I do look like a scumbag. I do look like a scumbag. I do wear the same t-shirt every day.

18:43 Adam I know. Travis, no, that was an analogy.

18:45 Caller He does all his own laundry now, and he washes them himself every night before he goes to bed.

18:51 Adam Why aren't you doing his laundry?

18:53 Caller Because he really enjoys it.

18:54 Guest I like doing that.

18:54 Caller He likes doing it. I would do it for him, but he actually gets a great pleasure. It's almost like he meditates when he does it.

19:02 Guest I feel weird dressing nice all the time. I just feel like I'm-

19:05 Caller But he does dress up every now and then. We'll have date nights and-

19:08 Adam Oh, really?

19:08 Drew Yeah.

19:09 Guest I have like rad Versace suits and stuff, and we'll just go out to dinner and I'll get in a suit for that night or whatever.

19:13 Drew Where do you go out?

19:15 Guest We go to Mr. Chow's, we go to Mozza Hesa, we go to-

19:19 Caller We like to try new restaurants.

19:20 Guest Yeah. We have so many places.

19:22 Drew Yeah.

19:22 Guest We go out to eat pretty much every night though.

19:25 Adam I suggested a date night with my wife too, and she didn't know it meant I was going out with somebody. Oh. At first she was excited and I was like, wow, what a player. She's taking this, what a trooper. She's taking this great. I thought it was going to be a tough sell, but turns out date night was easy and then I stepped out. All right. Let's take ourselves another call.

19:49 Drew Or 304.

19:51 Adam Let's see. It's masturbating, I don't need to get any of that.

19:55 Guest Oh, it's up to him.

19:56 Adam Callie? Oh, it's a her.

19:58 Yeah.

19:58 Adam Callie?

19:59 Hi.

19:59 Adam 20, what's up?

20:00 I called Dr. Drew about two, maybe three years ago and he said that he thought I was bipolar. And then, of course, I didn't listen to him and I started getting heavy into drugs and ended up being a heroin addict. And about a year ago on Christmas Eve, I came home and told my parents and got totally sober and started going to a doctor and he said I was bipolar also. And I'm on all these medications now, but the one that scares me the most is Adderall. And it's a methamphetamine pretty much that all my friends used to sell.

20:37 Drew Yeah, if you're an abstinence program.

20:43 Well, see, I didn't even do that.

20:44 I just was stubborn and went home, like threw up, sweated out, and for a year I've been sober.

20:50 Drew You're not on methadone, you're not on subutex, you're not on anything.

20:53 Adam She's on her parents' sofa.

20:55 Drew Hang on, you're not on Klonopin or any of these things. What are the medicines they're giving you?

21:02 Albutrin, Lomectil, and Neurontin for sleeping. They're all like stroke medicines.

21:06 Drew Right, that's very cool. Those are medicines that will not hurt you. Adderall will reactivate your disease. Please do not take them. Yeah, I've seen disasters on Adderall.

21:16 Adam Really?

21:17 Drew And all of the ADD drugs.

21:18 Adam I think I like that one, right?

21:20 Drew I'm sure.

21:20 I'm turning into a tweaker.

21:21 I'm losing all this weight and shit.

21:23 Drew Oh. Oh, you're taking the Adderall. Oh yeah. Listen, Charlie, go to Narcotics Anonymous.

21:28 Adam Why do it alone?

21:29 Drew Go to NA, get a sponsor. You can get some support and have people to talk to about this when you have questions. You have to call radio. You know, you're not going to stay sober without a program. It just doesn't work that way. You've done a great job so far taking care of yourself. Take it all the way home.

21:43 Adam Shanna.

21:44 Drew Yes.

21:44 Adam You, where are you from? You were crowned Miss USA in 95?

21:49 Caller Yeah. I'm originally from Rhode Island. Barrington, Providence, Rhode Island.

21:53 Drew You were crowned Miss USA for a week for us. Cohog?

21:56 Yeah.

21:57 Caller Oh, stuffy, stuffed cohogs. They're so good. They don't have them here. But I was actually Miss USA, New York, Miss New York for Miss USA.

22:04 Ah.

22:05 Caller Yeah.

22:06 Adam And, and I had a-

22:09 Drew 95?

22:10 Adam Yeah.

22:11 Caller 95, yeah. I'm dating myself.

22:15 Adam Well, you're a kid. All that missed stuff in 2019.

22:17 Drew Did Trump own that thing then? Was it him?

22:19 Caller No. Actually, he, he- Madison Square Garden, the following year, he took over. Where you live for? That's why I moved to Los Angeles. And actually, when he took over, the girls now go to New York and they stay in the Trump Towers. Pretty cool.

22:35 Adam Brandy. Drew was a judge on one of those one year.

22:38 Caller He were? Oh, I love to watch him. I like judge him at home. I would love to be a judge. They're fun.

22:44 Adam Your name is Shanna. Does everyone call you Shanna?

22:47 Caller They all call me Shanna, Shanna, Sheena, and sometimes Gina.

22:51 Adam Is it always been Shanna?

22:52 Caller Shanna, yeah, my whole life. But they say like Shanna Pudum or Shanna Maidlebutt.

22:56 Drew Why the two N's? I don't know.

22:58 Caller My mom and my dad did it.

23:00 Adam How do you spell the name Shanna?

23:03 Guest The same way you spell Shanna.

23:04 Drew That's what's confusing.

23:05 Adam All right. You got to put like an umlaut over here.

23:07 Caller What are those little things over the top?

23:08 Guest You're going to make up your own sign, Ma.

23:10 Caller Yeah. Little thing over the A.

23:12 Adam You put that dash over the A, that'll work. Drew, what do you want?

23:16 Drew I'm just thinking put her on hold before you hang up on her.

23:18 Adam Brandy. Brandy, you're 24? You hate masturbating?

23:25 Caller Well, it's not the fact that I hate it. It's just the fact that it just doesn't do anything for me.

23:30 Drew Well, Shanna needs to talk to you about this. Clearly, she has some feelings about this.

23:34 Adam Yeah.

23:34 Drew She recoiled, she bristled, she.

23:36 Adam Yeah. Maybe she can turn you out like she did with Travis in Oral. Exactly. He'll spin you around. Hey, guess what? I don't like Oral either. What do you say? Drew, you're not a fan of it either. I'll turn you. All right. Engineer Chris, you're not a big fan of the Oral either. No, I'm not. All right. Well, you got three guys. Travis is here tonight. Shanna is here tonight. Meet the Barkers, MTV, 10 o'clock, Wednesday night. Same time Dr. Drew shows on everybody.

24:07 Drew Good times.

24:08 Adam We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

24:22 Caller See, flipped it over.

24:23 Drew Thank you.

24:24 Flipped it over.

24:24 Adam Yeah.

24:26 I respect you.

24:27 Guest Gotta work on Love Line, right?

24:30 Adam Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, Travis, and Shanna. Don't call me Shanna Barker.

24:38 Caller It's okay. No, it doesn't bother me.

24:39 Adam I love that. I love that.

24:41 Guest Shanna Landbarker.

24:42 Adam I love that. People don't care that much about their names. It really could have been Shanna. Your parents could have been thinking Shanna.

24:50 Caller I was actually, my parents were actually, my mother's Portuguese, my dad's Irish, and I was, they thought I was a boy, and I was going to be Shane, and because I was a girl, they just said Shane, nah. So a lot of people think it's, you know, they think it's Yiddish, or they think, you know.

25:01 Drew Gaelic or something.

25:03 Adam All right. Means talk strangers into oral.

25:08 Caller He wasn't my stranger.

25:10 Guest I was pretty much a stranger. From the time she met me, she was trying to do that.

25:14 Caller Oh, shut up. You are so bad.

25:16 Guest Travis, it's smart to just announce, listen, I'm just not into that sort of thing.

25:22 Adam Sorry to disappoint. Here's the thing about women.

25:25 Guest No, but I like it now. Let it be known to the world. I love it now.

25:28 Adam Noted.

25:29 Caller He's obsessed with it now.

25:31 Guest It's crazy.

25:31 Adam The point is about...

25:32 Guest I think as you get older, stuff changes though too. You know what I mean?

25:35 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

25:36 Guest I don't know. I turned into a freak after the age of 25, like when elsewhere.

25:43 Adam For me and Drew now, just powder comes out. Just big poof of powder.

25:47 Drew I saw a ghost come out of Adam once.

25:49 Guest Yeah.

25:49 Adam Well, that was my fifth one. There wasn't anything left. That was my soul. It was a ghost of Whacker's past. Yeah. Took me back. Made me see how the future was going to be without masturbation.

26:04 Drew Without it, you were doing the same thing for four years ahead.

26:07 Adam Yeah. The ghost of Christmas past just took me back, and every scene I was just beating off.

26:12 Drew Four years ago, four years ahead, same.

26:14 Adam Yeah. No need to do this anymore. All right. Where were we? Brandy? Yeah. Meet the Barkers. Ten o'clock, Wednesday nights. I give it my seal of approval, by the way.

26:24 Drew Two thumbs up.

26:25 Adam Two thumbs up. I enjoy it. I'm really starting to think that if you took an interesting-looking couple who had interesting lives, and I don't mean interesting in a bad way, I just mean you took a good-looking couple who had a cool life, and you mixed in a little stress and a little vomiting, and you captured it with a camera, I would watch it.

26:51 Drew How many weeks did you film for them?

26:52 Caller They actually filmed this for a year.

26:55 Guest That's what happened weird though.

26:57 Caller When did you stop?

26:58 Guest Like in the beginning.

26:59 Caller January?

26:59 Guest Yeah, in the beginning it wasn't even like, we were just like, yeah, we'll let you film some stuff. A friend that does Diary and all those shows came to me and goes, you know, that footage from Launch, which was like the making of The Last Blink record, of you and your wife and your newborn son was amazing, you know? I think there's something there. And then this one was like, honey, I think it'd be awesome, blah, blah, blah.

27:17 Caller I thought it'd be something fun for us to do together because he's away a lot, you know?

27:21 Guest I woke up, I said, yeah, one day. And then they filmed everything for a year. And they've had like 10 or 12 episodes done like six months ago.

27:30 Caller There's a lot of our lives on tape. But it's really cool, too. It's really nice to see the footage they have us getting our marriage license, which is kind of...

27:37 Guest Like we have our sons for steps, like us getting our marriage license, like us on our honeymoon. It's pretty rad.

27:43 Adam He was scared he was going to miss his son's first steps while he was away on tour.

27:48 Guest Because I would leave and I would come back two months later and Landon would look at me. He had no idea who I was. That was hard on me, you know what I mean? It was tough.

27:59 Adam Maybe it was all the crazy tats and piercings.

28:01 Guest Maybe it was the new tattoos. But then after a day, he remembered me.

28:06 Adam And how did you... Didn't you break your ankle or have your foot in a cast?

28:10 Guest Yeah, I was in Australia and I remember I called her and I go, you know, mom, I think I twisted my foot. You know, whatever. I'm just at the doctor's. I'm going to see what's happening.

28:18 Caller It was a long, hard year.

28:20 Guest They're like, you somehow broke, whatever, 12 bones in your foot.

28:24 Caller It's called a Lis-Frank fracture.

28:26 Guest Yeah, every tendon, every ligament. It's called a Lis-Frank fracture.

28:29 Caller They only see it in motorcycle and football injuries.

28:32 Guest Yeah, your bones, your ligaments and your tendons break simultaneously. So that happened one morning, running to the bus, like showing off, carrying a bunch of bags. I tripped. And then that night, I had like laughing gas. I had a bunch of painkillers. And I played a show the other night with my other foot. And then it just continued. Yeah, it worked.

28:51 Caller But he didn't want to go to surgery. It was like it was really hard to get him there.

28:56 Guest It was hard for me because they go, you know, this isn't a normal fracture. I see I saw five specialists and they all go, I only see like one of these a year. And some dude who, you know, got pounced on a motorcycle or, you know, something really awful like a football player. So it didn't, it wasn't a lot of hope in the beginning. You know, it was kind of freaking out.

29:12 Adam Did you have to use like that Def Lepper drum kit or something?

29:16 Guest No, what I did is I set up a double bass pedal and I just minus the right pedal. So it was just my left foot and I'd go back and forth between my hi-hat and my...

29:23 Caller He did the whole tour with his other foot.

29:25 Guest Yeah, so I toured like six, seven months like that. It was good though, man. It was mentally, I couldn't sit home and just go, I can't do it. You know what I mean? It wouldn't be good for me.

29:34 Adam And what you do, do you hit a pothole when you're running or do you just turn your ankle?

29:37 Guest Yeah, it was like those sidewalks that are crooked, like broken or whatever, like crooked.

29:42 Adam Right, you just whacked.

29:43 Guest Yeah, like literally steps before the bus, too. And I was in the bus and I was like, yo, you guys, I felt hard. And they're like, oh, just walk it off, walk it off. So I'm walking through the entire airport with my backpack, my bags, and then it just starts swelling and I can't even move.

29:59 Caller And then in the hospital, I wish we had the camera in the hospital. When he came out of surgery, he was screaming like, it's a conspiracy on my foot.

30:10 Guest It gave me morphine.

30:11 Caller It was so funny.

30:12 Guest I had morphine.

30:13 Caller To help you not to make money.

30:13 Guest 24 hours, yeah. But it made me kind of crazy, kind of loopy after a while.

30:17 Caller He couldn't pee, you guys. He couldn't pee. And you have no idea.

30:20 Guest She didn't tell me, though. Like, I knew I was going into surgery. I'd never been into that big of a surgery before. Didn't, you know, failed to tell me she was inserting something into my penis. So I woke up, oh, I'm morphine.

30:34 Drew What do you think happens when you're in an operating table? You just pee all over everything?

30:37 Guest I thought it was going to be a 15 to 20 minute surgery. It ended up being a four hour surgery. So I didn't know any of this. So I wake up, for whatever reason, I'm hard as a rock because I've got to pee so bad. I'm trying to pee and it's not working. I'm looking at Shane and I'm like, honey, what's going on?

30:52 Caller He's like yelling at the nurse.

30:53 Guest The nurse comes in, I'm naked on top of it all.

30:57 Caller Running water, trying to get him to like, you know, relax.

31:01 Guest I was like, get out, I'm naked. I'm trying to pee.

31:05 Adam Where were the cameras?

31:06 Guest I know. But it was an adventure, man. But yeah, morphine is not good.

31:12 Adam Because you like it. Drew, morphine very addictive.

31:14 Drew Makes you nutty, very addictive.

31:15 Guest Yeah.

31:15 Adam Now, does morphine make everyone nutty?

31:19 Drew No, it affects people differently. Some people feel horrible. I have some people start sobbing on it.

31:23 Adam Oh, really?

31:23 Drew They hate how they feel.

31:24 Adam Is that when you give them the bill or?

31:26 Drew No, it's just before. Then some people feel incredibly euphoric and they're out of it.

31:30 Adam Others get a boner and yell at nurses?

31:32 Drew Other people start getting paranoid and start running around.

31:37 Caller He was like up and down. He was great at one moment and then he was low at others.

31:42 Adam Brandy? Brandy? Hi. All right. So we were talking about masturbation, doing nothing for you. Yeah, all right. That's your thing.

31:54 Caller Can I ask what she does? Shanna's going to help you. What have you tried?

32:02 Caller Well, I've tried.

32:05 Caller I've even talked to my girlfriends and stuff like that about the whole, the clit stimulation thing and all that kind of stuff.

32:11 Drew You did or you didn't?

32:12 Adam Did.

32:14 Caller I've talked to them about it and I tried it and it just doesn't work. I try to touch it and it just doesn't feel good. I don't like the way it feels. It just makes me squirm and it makes me feel like, it makes me think, I don't know, it's basically the same feeling I get when I have a bladder infection. So it's just like, I don't really like this.

32:34 Adam You got to kill yourself.

32:35 Drew How about when?

32:37 Adam Shanna just wrote that on dry erase board and held it over her head. I'm just saying what she told me to do.

32:41 Drew How about when you have sex?

32:44 Caller When I have sex? Well, I don't know. It doesn't really come into contact with, whenever I have sex with somebody, it doesn't really come into contact with them.

32:55 Drew Are you able to have orgasm during sex?

32:59 Caller Usually not. No, it's very hard. I have almost every boyfriend that I've ever had. They've called me the hardest woman in the world to please.

33:05 Drew But when you are able to, what does the guy have to do?

33:10 Caller The only thing I found out that I get off on this is the penetration. I actually have to have the penetration. Nothing else will get me to orgasm.

33:18 Caller Have you used toys though when you masturbate? Have you tried toys?

33:24 Caller I've tried toys.

33:25 Caller Because you can masturbate not using clitoral stimulation.

33:30 Caller Yeah, but the only thing I'll do is if I wanted to do that, I'll just take the dildo and I'll just like use it on myself, you know, but I don't do anything with the clitoris because I just don't like the way it feels.

33:44 Adam All right, hold on a second, Randi, I'm a champion voice reader. You're 24, you sound like you're 44-year-old Vietnam nurse who chains smokes. What happened? Did your dad, like an alcoholic, start taking care of him when you were five or something? What's so hard about your life? What's going on?

34:02 Caller I just have a love life. No. No, I don't smoke, I don't do anything.

34:08 Adam No, where's your dad?

34:11 Caller Actually, I'm currently actually living with my dad at the moment, because I've got a crap job and I don't have enough money to be able to move out.

34:18 Adam But where's your mom?

34:21 Caller My parents got divorced when I was like one, and she was living with her husband now, over on the other side of town. I still get to talk to her as often as I want to.

34:29 Adam Who raised you?

34:31 Caller Who raised you? I've lived with my father my whole life.

34:34 Adam Yeah.

34:35 Caller Why? I don't know. I have no idea why my dad got custody of me.

34:41 Adam What means your mom was a drug addict or something? I mean, that's Shanna. Shanna, chime in. Hold on a second. As a mother, God forbid you two ever get divorced. Yes. It's never gonna happen. But the point is, is could you imagine just leaving your kids and moving across town and, you know, letting papa raise the kids? I mean, as a female, you have to pry kids away from their mom. And the mom that just says, I'll move across town. I'll see you when I can.

35:11 Drew It means something.

35:11 Adam Something screwed up. She's into drugs. She has some serious mental issues. You don't just take a mom. It's like, hey, nice knowing your dad's a good guy. I'm sure he'll do a yeoman's type job raising you. I'll be over here if you need me. Show me a report card every once in a while.

35:25 Drew There's your grandma.

35:26 Adam That's true. Drew, why do you have to do that? Why do you have to pop the scab off? Just when it scabs over, you got to pop it off and then you got to rub rock salt in my wounds. See, your little jokes hurt. They hurt. Your jokes hurt. Brandy?

35:42 Caller Huh?

35:44 Adam Why didn't your mom raise you?

35:48 Caller I honestly don't know.

35:51 Caller When my parents got divorced, my dad and I moved back in with his parents, my grandparents, and basically it was the four of us in a house until I was seven.

35:58 Drew She had a grandmother that probably was the mom figure. I don't get heavy trauma from that.

36:02 Adam Not heavy trauma, just heavy early responsibility.

36:05 Drew Yes, I do get nursing-type problems.

36:08 Adam Are you a nurse?

36:10 Caller No, I'm just a cashier at the moment.

36:13 Adam What's at the hospital? People decide they go down a certain path and they just keep going.

36:20 Caller No, for the time being, I'm just a cashier at a grocery store.

36:26 Adam And your dad, what's he do?

36:28 Caller He's a teacher.

36:30 Adam And he didn't drink.

36:31 Drew All right, here's the deal, Brandy. It's fine that you have trouble masturbating that way. Lots of women have, every woman is different with this material. Some women need to correct me if I'm wrong, Shanna, but when you were starting out, you need to sort of figure out how to create a emotional or experiential environment where these things sort of work.

36:49 Caller Absolutely.

36:49 Drew And you can't just look at a picture and get, most women, some can, but most can't just look at a picture and get aroused, like a man can, and left there aroused, it is uncomfortable to have clitoral stimulation. So you have to sort of get that sort of arousal mechanism going.

37:02 Caller Yeah, I was going to say that. I mean, when you do it, do you do something sexy, like run a bath, like candles, kind of get some toys, relax.

37:11 Drew We all hear what we're Charlie Brown's teacher.

37:13 Adam Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And she's living back at home. So it ain't going to work because dad's moping around the house.

37:24 Caller Well, I've even tried doing the whole phone sex thing and they talked me into trying it. But even that doesn't work. I just don't know.

37:34 Adam Well, who are you having phone sex with?

37:37 Caller Oh, it was just one of my friends. I think it was an ex-boyfriend or something. It was a few years ago.

37:45 Adam You don't know who you're talking to.

37:46 Drew You have no idea.

37:49 Caller Did she ever have anyone that she could talk to you openly about that?

37:53 Adam All right. Hold on. I'm done with Brandy. Hey, Brandy. Brandy, I'm done with you. We can BS answer. You don't know who you're having phone sex with.

38:00 Caller Well, it was a guy that I was talking to on the Internet and I gave him my phone number.

38:06 Adam Brandy, you need yourself a boyfriend. You need a relationship. You need to get a job better in cashiering and you need to move out of the house. You need to move forward and stop focusing on your clit. Let me handle your clit. You focus on your job. I'll focus on your clitoris. We'll get right along. All right. It's enough. Let me tell you something about women.

38:27 Drew Tell us something about women.

38:28 Adam They come in all different shapes and sizes. They're all different. I've been with women who couldn't have an orgasm with intercourse and I've been with women who couldn't have an orgasm with intercourse. I've been with women who couldn't have an orgasm with oral and I've been with other women who couldn't have an orgasm with oral.

38:45 Drew Occasionally those who could. Very, very occasionally.

38:47 Adam No, not really. That's my gamut. Once in a while, I've been with a woman who couldn't have an orgasm with oral and couldn't have an orgasm with intercourse and then I've been with other women who couldn't have an orgasm with intercourse and couldn't have an orgasm with oral.

39:01 Drew So what do you think?

39:02 Adam So I'm all low. I'm saying they range.

39:05 Drew It's a spectrum.

39:06 Adam They range from A to B and everything in between with me.

39:11 Drew Or an eucopia of Corolla.

39:12 Adam That's right.

39:14 Drew But no orgasm.

39:15 Adam All right. And a Brandy.

39:17 Drew Brandy's fine.

39:17 Adam Brandy's fine.

39:18 Drew I find it interesting that I had a completely neutral to positive response to her and you had a completely negative hostile reaction.

39:24 Adam Well, here's what it is. They're sort of old souls.

39:29 Drew No, I get that.

39:29 Adam And she was put upon early.

39:32 Drew I get that, but she wasn't dumping that on you though. She wasn't dumping on me anyway.

39:37 Adam Listen, I don't.

39:38 Drew Those people dump that when they go with that stuff.

39:41 Adam I'm not a septic tank, Drew. I don't get dumped upon.

39:44 Drew Well, but I do.

39:45 Adam I'm a collect the tank. I collect things.

39:48 Drew I'm a portable.

39:49 Adam Yeah, you're a porta pod. I'm one of those metal detectors you see the old guy with on the beach. I'm out combing for stuff.

39:56 Drew Got it.

39:57 Adam No, it was funny that she was raised by her grandparents, essentially, because I got the old.

40:02 Drew Yes, the old vibe.

40:03 Adam She's 24. I got the old vibe. She's raised by six years.

40:06 Drew That's right. That's interesting.

40:07 Adam Let's take a little break. See, I am a genius. I type in with all kinds of women, Drew.

40:13 Drew Some that have no orgasm.

40:14 Adam Some can have orgasm with it and others.

40:16 Drew No orgasm with direct stimulation, no orgasm with oral sex.

40:19 Adam All over the place.

40:21 Drew Some with no orgasm, oral sex, no orgasm with intercourse.

40:23 Adam Or direct stimulation of the clitoral. So I've been in with them all.

40:28 Drew It's looking like a man.

40:30 Adam Yeah, we will take ourselves a little break. Barker's here tonight on Wednesday nights, 10 o'clock, MTV. We'll be right back after this.

40:37 Caller Thank you for calling Loveline.

40:39 Caller Your call will be answered in the order it seems interesting.

40:42 Caller Call Loveline.

40:44 1-800-LOVE-191.

40:57 Adam Here we go. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Who's in tomorrow? Nobody's in tomorrow. Thank Christ.

41:14 Drew I'll be in Chicago tomorrow.

41:16 Adam Oh, really?

41:17 Guest Good riddance.

41:19 Adam Shanna's here tonight, Travis here tonight for Meet the Barkers, MTV, 10 o'clock, Wednesday nights. Very enjoyable show. I'll be, I'll be, that's, I watch this show and I watch that dangerous cargo show, the new, the crab fishing show. Oh, Arctic ice crab fishing.

41:36 Drew Those guys make like 20 grand a week, right?

41:38 Adam Well, everybody does that thing where, you know, they could make 100 grand in a week or whatever, but it's sort of between like 20 and 100, depending on how much crab you catch.

41:47 Drew Wow, but what do they, how do they catch them? How do they get them?

41:50 Adam King crab.

41:50 Drew Yeah, how do they get them?

41:51 Adam They tie bologna to a string and throw it off. What do you mean how do they get them? Put a crab cage down there.

41:56 Drew Do they have huge nets or do they have cages?

41:57 Adam Cages, crab pods.

41:58 Drew And they cruise in to the...

42:00 Adam They put them on the ground.

42:02 Drew And they have to collect hundreds of cages out of the ground doing?

42:04 Adam Well, they're their cages.

42:05 Drew No, I'm just saying, I'm trying to figure out what's so dangerous and so dramatic about it.

42:08 Adam Here's how you go crabbing, gentlemen. You take these cages, they're the size of, you know, like five foot by eight foot and about two foot high. They're just big cages, you know, hold like 50 king crabs, you know?

42:21 Drew And they all, 50 will climb in there?

42:24 Adam Yeah. You know, it's got to suck for the king crabs. The female king crabs are king crabs too. You know, they should be queen crab.

42:31 Drew They should be, yeah.

42:32 Adam Yeah, it's suck if you're a chick crab and they're calling you king crab, you know?

42:37 Drew That's unfair.

42:38 Adam Plus, king crab just sounds like you're in a bad mood all the time. Hey, look who's here, king crab. Welcome to work. Got any complaints?

42:47 Drew We'll get to Mr. Crabby.

42:48 Adam Mr. Crabby. Point is, they put these things out and they chum them. They fill them with like fish guts and they just put them on the floor of Alaska. It's a seafloor.

42:57 Drew Deep, deep, deep?

42:59 Adam You know, they don't get in to how deep, but it's probably a couple hundred feet. Water, rough, horrible, and then the crabs crawl in and they just get locked in there and then they hoist them up.

43:08 Drew Are they near a shore or are they way out?

43:09 Adam They're kind of out. They're out at sea. It's real perfect storm prep.

43:14 Drew How do they locate?

43:15 Adam People die every year.

43:16 Drew But why is it there?

43:19 Adam Why is it there?

43:19 Drew You know what I mean?

43:20 Adam Yeah, I don't know how they find the crab. They just lower them on the sea floor. And during this one particular season, that's when they're running and they find the cages. And you know, they always do that thing where they go, my grandfather was a crabber, my father was a crabber, his father before that was a crabber, and his father. I just always want them to say one guy took off. Like they go, my father was a crabber, his father was a crabber, then there was Larry the orthodontist, but then his dad crabbed and then his father before. This was only one guy. Yeah. He was a dermatologist. And then everyone else, crabbers. You never hear about that one guy. I didn't make it. I'd like to be that one guy, Drew.

44:00 Drew I have no doubt.

44:01 Adam Could you help me?

44:01 Drew Yeah.

44:02 Adam Okay.

44:03 Drew Well, that's a little late.

44:05 Adam Oh, I pressed the wrong one. Let me say this. I'm just talking about nothing today. You know what I realized? I realized today when I was doing that Bernie Mac show, I realized when you know you've arrived, when you know you're successful as a celebrity, business. You're watching Bernie Mac? No. Not me. I wasn't counting myself.

44:24 Drew I knew it wasn't you.

44:25 Adam I'm just saying as a male, dig this.

44:27 Drew Self-esteem is way too low for that.

44:29 Adam Travis, focus, baby. Listen to me now.

44:31 Guest You're not talking about craps no more.

44:33 Adam I'm not talking about craps no more. Tuned right out with the crab talk.

44:38 Drew You're making a great picture there.

44:40 Adam He's drawing a drum kit.

44:41 Guest We're drawing happy faces. She draws something, I draw something.

44:45 Adam All right. Focus over here, ADN.

44:47 Guest I'm here.

44:48 Adam Here's how you know you've arrived and we should all hope that we get to this place one day in business. When you're wearing a tie, a dress shirt, and you pull a shirt or a jersey over it, and have to wear that for a minute. That means you own a team, that means you are drafted, that means you're part of a huge construction project. When you're wearing a tie and a dress shirt, and you have to pull another t-shirt over it, a huge charity organization, whatever it is.

45:16 Drew Anything with a logo on it, you have to pull over your tie.

45:18 Adam You now own a sports franchise or something. I'm just saying, unsuccessful people never pull a shirt over their shirt and tie.

45:24 Drew They don't need their picture taken with something with a logo on it.

45:26 Adam That's what I'm saying. If you're super successful, I bet like Arnold Schwarzenegger has done it like 175 times.

45:31 Drew I bet you're right.

45:32 Adam Drew, have you ever done that?

45:33 Drew Never.

45:34 Adam See, you haven't arrived.

45:35 Drew That's my point.

45:35 Adam Travis?

45:36 Drew No.

45:37 Adam Shanna?

45:38 Drew No.

45:39 Adam Yeah, that's how you know. If it's a jersey or something, you've really arrived. It means you either-

45:43 Drew Well, for a male, you're just, yeah, it's true.

45:45 Adam You own the team or you got drafted first or whatever it is. But put that tie on, that dress shirt and then have someone pulling the t-shirt. It's up there with somebody putting a hat on you.

45:55 Drew That's the same thing.

45:55 Adam Yeah, you can't put it on yourself. They got to put it on while you're being interviewed.

45:59 Drew The hat's got to have a logo.

46:00 Adam Drew, put my hat on while I'm talking. This is what it would be like.

46:04 Drew This is how they do it.

46:04 Adam I just want to thank God. You know, nobody in the room thought we could do it. Only the guys in the locker room. I want to thank Pepsi and my sponsors for standing behind me all year. If somebody puts a hat on you while you're doing an interview, again, you've arrived.

46:21 Drew But they have to screw it on. They're not just slopping it on there.

46:25 Adam I'm just saying I want to come to a point in life where I'm wearing a T-shirt over a tie and dress shirt and somebody puts a hat on me while I'm being interviewed.

46:34 Drew Yes.

46:35 Caller I'm so going to do that to you one day.

46:38 Adam Yeah. You can't stage it. That's the problem. You know what I mean? That's like making your own American Idol show in your den or something. You have to be there. You have to do it.

46:50 Guest What about buying your own Hollywood star on Hollywood Boulevard? Is that weird, you guys?

46:55 Adam Yeah, that is. Are you talking about Seacrest? Yeah.

47:00 Guest It'd be cool if it was given to you.

47:02 Caller Did he do that? He got his own or was given?

47:04 Guest He bought it.

47:05 Adam Well, I don't know if he bought it, but it does cost something.

47:10 Drew It's usually a not-for-profit that raises the money on your behalf to do what I thought.

47:14 Adam But it is weird, isn't it?

47:17 Drew Don't you have to have a bunch of people supporting it being done? A certain number of people.

47:21 Adam Well, Drew, let me ask you this. How do you feel? You've been helping people on the radio for 20 years. You got nothing.

47:26 Yeah.

47:27 Adam Rick Dees has been doing heiny wine jokes on the air for years, and he has a star.

47:32 Drew Yeah.

47:34 Adam Put the hat on me. We're going to break. We're going to break. Put the hat on. All right. The Barkers are here. All right. Easy. Easy. The Barkers are here tonight from Meet the Barkers, Wednesday Nights, MTV. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. All right, guys.

47:47 Drew Here's the deal. Looking to hook up? Call the dateline. I'm done. Finished it.

48:03 Caller Some very odd questions, my friend. You have to tell me what the results were. He said, you are a weirdo. Go.

48:14 Adam Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. That's Travis doing a little drumming on the console. And Shanna is also here as well as beautiful bride. And they are in a little show called Meet the Barkers Wednesday Nights, 10 o'clock on MTV. You know, Drew, how I get angry that I have to do all the talking.

48:36 Drew Yeah.

48:36 Adam It always compounds when you lean back and yawn while I'm talking.

48:39 Drew Oh, I apologize.

48:40 Adam Okay. It takes a big man to apologize.

48:44 Drew No, I could see how that would bother you.

48:46 Adam Really?

48:46 Drew Yes.

48:47 Adam You've been patronizing me?

48:49 Drew No, I'm actually didn't.

48:50 Adam Talking down to me?

48:51 Drew I always thought you were kind of-

48:51 Adam You were talking down to me?

48:52 Drew No, sir. I actually thought you wanted me kind of out of the way.

48:55 Adam I would like you to leave. But that big lion napping in the Serengeti on, Drew likes to pull off in the middle of my scintillating conversation. There you go. You know, your voice figured that.

49:08 Drew I'm sorry. For whatever reason, there comes.

49:17 Adam All right. We ready to rock?

49:19 Drew Let's do.

49:20 Adam We're going to talk to Tanya?

49:21 Drew Reset. Travis.

49:22 Adam We're going to reset.

49:23 Drew Shanna.

49:23 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah.

49:24 Drew Meet the Barker.

49:25 Adam Oh, look, the call fell off. Let's talk to Jessica. Then we'll talk to Brian. He's got a question for Travis. Jessica?

49:33 Caller Yeah.

49:34 Adam What's up?

49:36 Caller Okay. So I had sex with this guy for the first time last week, and his rhythm was really, really horrible, and I wanted to know if there's like anything I can do to like fix it, like train him or something.

49:53 Adam Well, her voice sounded really familiar.

49:55 Drew Yes, the really, really. Remember?

49:57 Adam The horrible part, yeah.

49:58 Drew Yeah, we had a patient, a person that said something like that.

50:01 Adam Yeah, they're all patients. Just call them what they are. Yeah.

50:04 Drew It's really, I'm really, really.

50:06 Adam Horny. Horny. Is that it?

50:08 Drew Can you play that drop, Anderson?

50:10 Caller I'm really horny.

50:12 Drew That one.

50:13 Adam Play it again, just for kicks.

50:15 Caller I'm really horny.

50:16 Adam One more time for daddy.

50:18 I'm really horny.

50:23 Adam I love that one too. Show is so much better on tape. All right. So Jessica.

50:29 Drew Did you miss Swan from last night, by the way? You've got to have some. Oh, yeah.

50:34 Adam Have you called the show before, Jessica?

50:37 Caller No, this is my first time calling the show.

50:38 Adam All right. So you're 18.

50:42 Caller Yeah, I'm 18.

50:43 Adam And the guy was how old?

50:45 Caller This guy was 35.

50:47 Drew Oh, a lot of people laughing in the background.

50:50 Caller That's my friend who's listening to the radio well.

50:53 Drew It seems like a non-question thing. That's why I'm concerned.

50:56 Adam Yeah. I mean, he had no rhythm in bed.

50:58 Drew What does that mean?

50:59 Adam He's got a tumor. He had a seizure. What do you mean? What do you want us to do?

51:02 Caller That's a good question. There are a lot of guys that don't.

51:05 Adam It's not a question, though. Like, what are we supposed to? You can't answer it.

51:09 Caller Well, you can't train a guy either has it or doesn't have it.

51:11 Adam Well, you train Travis to receive oral students. He's a drummer.

51:14 Caller He naturally has rhythm.

51:16 Guest You hear that, Adam? You hear that?

51:17 Adam No, I know that, but you train him to receive oral.

51:20 Guest No, but there are some people that you, like, I've obviously been with people in my lifetime and there's some people you're just not compatible with. They just don't have rhythm and you need to move on unless you're madly in love with them.

51:30 Adam That's what Drew and I thought, but we pushed through.

51:33 Guest She's 18. I would just keep on, I'd move on.

51:37 Adam Jessica?

51:38 Guest Shake him.

51:39 Caller Yeah, I could totally move on, like, I'm totally not attached to him at all, but he is really hot.

51:43 Adam Oh, he is.

51:43 Drew He knows his BS.

51:44 Adam Yeah.

51:45 Guest Maybe you could grab him and kind of, like, maybe help him with his rhythm next time and then if he still can't do it, then you should probably shake him.

51:52 Drew Not a real question.

51:53 Adam You don't believe her.

51:53 Drew We deem this bogus.

51:54 Adam Where'd you meet the guy?

51:56 Caller I met the guy at a goth club.

51:59 Drew What was he doing?

52:00 Caller A goth club.

52:01 Adam A goth club.

52:02 Guest Well, that's why those people can't dance. They dance all crazy.

52:05 Drew A 35-year-old at a goth club?

52:06 Adam Yeah.

52:07 Drew Was he a waiter there?

52:08 Adam Was he a chaperoning? What was he doing?

52:11 Guest She's saying a golf club or a goth?

52:14 Adam It sounded like golf and then it went to goth.

52:18 Caller Well, he was just dancing and I was dancing. He was a good dancer and I was like-

52:23 Adam Really?

52:24 Caller Yeah.

52:25 Adam Wow. It is amazing.

52:27 Guest All right.

52:27 Adam We don't care, but it is amazing how close and sound goth and golf are and how far apart they are in terms of them.

52:34 Guest If you're in a golf club or a goth club, it's a real, real extreme.

52:38 Drew It's totally different. Push and pull.

52:40 Adam Totally different dude.

52:41 Drew Push and pull.

52:41 Adam Yeah. It's like me with the ladies. I've been with the ladies that don't have an orgasm through intercourse and I've been with others that don't have an orgasm through intercourse.

52:48 Drew Totally opposite.

52:49 Adam Yeah. I'm saying I've been all over them, been all over them, seen this world, well, I've been with them all. All right. Oh yeah. Question for Travis. I think it's a drumming question. The thing I like about Travis is he likes his instrument. I love it. He likes drumming, you know?

53:05 Guest I love it.

53:08 Adam We got a lot of band guys in here.

53:11 Drew Don't seem that interested in-

53:12 Adam They don't seem that interested in their music, per se.

53:16 Drew Not the music, but their instruments in particular.

53:18 Adam Yeah. They're interested in- The song. I'm not just saying they're all about making money, banging chicks on the road, but they're sort of-

53:23 Drew Well, they are, but beside that-

53:24 Adam Well, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. They sound like I wasn't saying anything. Yeah. But they're interested in when the next CD is coming out, but you never hear them talking about their instrument, and the thing that's funny is Dr. Bruce, who fills in for Drew every once in a while, is a guitar nut, and he tries to talk to lead guitar players about their strats and their fenders, and they're like, yeah, whatever, dude. I don't know. It's weird.

53:47 Drew Yeah.

53:48 Adam All right.

53:48 Drew Interesting.

53:49 Adam But Travis-

53:50 Drew Is into the instrument.

53:50 Adam He likes his instrument.

53:52 Drew Well, here's a question about it.

53:53 Adam All right. Did I punch him?

53:54 Drew No.

53:55 Adam Brian?

53:56 Yeah.

53:57 Adam 14. Go ahead, buddy.

53:58 Yeah. Before I start, Vicka, you, my parents, and all those public service nonsense make me never want to live in Los Angeles ever.

54:06 Adam Thank you from San Jose. Good. Yeah. They call me the Vicar of Christ, by the way.

54:11 Drew Oh, the Vicar.

54:12 Adam Yes.

54:13 Drew You're not the Vicar anymore. We have a Vicar.

54:14 Adam Well, they installed this poser puppet over there.

54:18 Drew The so-called Pope.

54:19 Adam The so-called Pope. It's not my Pope. I'm my Pope.

54:23 Drew You're the Vicar.

54:23 Adam I'm the Vicar of Christ. Go ahead, Brian.

54:27 Well, I got a poster with my symbols and it says that Travis is using 18-inch and 19-inch Z-customs and a couple other A-customs, but check the Zillichan website. It says he's using a bunch of more A-customs and no more Z-customs. I just wanted to know what's your cymbal set up now?

54:44 Guest Well, it just changed. Lately, I've been playing with the DJ all the time, so I'm using little small Ks, thin cymbals, but live I tend to use Zs just because I break so many cymbals, but in the studio, I always use A's.

54:57 Adam What do they sound like when they break? They just get cracked and they stop sounding right?

55:00 Guest Yeah, they're like not even half as loud, and they sound like it's like a sizzle, like an old jazz cymbal, you know? But A's sound really, really great, but if you play really, really hard, they will break like every show, depending on how hard you hit.

55:13 Drew What's the difference?

55:14 Guest They're thinner, just basically a thinner cymbal, where Zs are really, really thick, and they really project, and they're really, really loud.

55:20 Drew Same tone.

55:22 The only way to break Z customs is A, play them with a sledgehammer or B, drop them from a three-story building.

55:28 Guest It's true.

55:29 Adam Where is Zildjian? Is that Indian?

55:31 Zildjian?

55:32 Adam Yeah.

55:33 Guest It's Turkish. It's actually one of the oldest companies in the world, like 1814 or something.

55:38 Caller We have a signed one from the ON.

55:40 Guest Yeah, from Armand Zildjian, right before he passed away.

55:42 Adam Oh, really? Was he the son of?

55:44 Guest Yeah, the son of the great.

55:46 Adam Let me tell you something about the Zildjians. Armand made cymbals, and his father, and then his father, but then the other guy was a podiatrist.

55:54 Drew He was a falafel store owner.

55:55 Adam He ran a falafel store, but then before it, then he went back to the cymbal play. Yeah. And Zildjian just makes the cymbals?

56:04 Guest They actually, like, they make, like, my stick bags, my cymbal bags, my sticks. They make, they used to make Noble and Cooley snare drums out of brass.

56:13 Drew They still consider to make the best cymbals, though, right?

56:15 Guest Yeah, they're like the biggest by far. Like, Zildjian's here, and the next, like, they're competitors here.

56:19 Adam Are they all made in Turkey, or they farm them out to Mexico?

56:23 Guest Yes, they're all made there, and then they come here, and then they have a factory in Detroit, actually.

56:29 Adam Oh, really?

56:29 Guest There you go.

56:30 Adam Yeah.

56:31 Guest But, yeah, they're a good family of people over there.

56:34 Adam Drew, how come here in California, we never seem to get anyone's factories? You know what I mean?

56:39 Drew Because this is an F'd up state when it comes to businesses.

56:43 Adam Thank you.

56:43 Drew Because of huge taxes and regulation and OSHA.

56:46 Adam BMW's looking to build their Z3 Roadster. Ah, they're going to North Carolina.

56:50 Drew They would never come to California.

56:51 Adam Nothing ever comes here. Why would they?

56:53 Guest You know what they do here though?

56:54 Adam What do they do here?

56:55 Guest A lot of high fashion stuff now is all made in LA and they make really small minimums and they sell them for super high price but it's all done domestic.

57:03 Adam It's crazy.

57:04 Guest That's about it though.

57:05 Adam I want to tour a car factory and not see a bunch of Guatemalan chicks hunched over a sewing machine.

57:09 Drew It's like we don't have industry.

57:11 Adam Yeah, it's not home of... You know what I want? I want something like John Deere Tractors is out of this place and Caterpillar, the big factories, the big... I want to take a tour of a big factory.

57:22 Caller Look at Flint, Michigan now.

57:23 Adam That's what I want. I want to take a tour of a car factory.

57:27 Drew We had aerospace.

57:28 Adam Yeah, I know, but I didn't get to tour any of those factories.

57:31 Drew Even though you stepped out of work there.

57:32 Adam You know the only factory I got to tour?

57:35 Drew Helms Becquery?

57:36 Adam No. Laurie Seasoning Plant.

57:39 Caller I love Laurie Seasoning, though. I put that on everything.

57:42 Adam It's life in the fast lane. Mine reels when you imagine how those spices were crushed in a powder. It is amazing. And when you walk away with that mini packet of taco seasoning, you're on cloud nine, my friend.

57:57 Caller We have like Budweiser here, right?

58:00 Adam We do have a Budweiser factory.

58:02 Drew Is there a Miller?

58:04 Adam We got a Miller. There's a couple of beer places. I want to make something, though. I want to take one of those things where they make cars or make machinery or farming equipment or something. That's what I want. I want to see some farm equipment. Drew, open a factory, would you please? All right. You know what? Make a whole bunch of stuff that only I'm interested in.

58:23 Drew Cars.

58:24 Caller Vibrators.

58:25 Adam Vibrators.

58:26 Drew Vibrators.

58:27 Adam Yeah. I did tour a factory where they do the vibrators. Oh, yeah? Yeah. They do all these poor women. There's all these just chicks from Honduras who are sewing fake pubes onto nut sacks. They're just coming right down the assembly line. It is horrible. I'll tell you something. Normal factory jobs suck when something's coming down a conveyor belt, but if a hairdryer is coming down a conveyor belt and you have to put the heat shroud on five million of them a day, that job sucks. When it's Ron Jeremy's joint coming down the thing, now you got sucks and humiliating. You know what I mean?

59:04 Drew And you can't talk about what you do.

59:06 Adam Mm-hmm.

59:08 Guest Yeah, you can. You just have to be an open pig about it. You know, you just have to go, ah.

59:11 Drew Yeah, but Drew, you're a part of all the female.

59:12 Adam Yeah, what do you do? Yeah, what do you work? Where do you work? Yeah, the factory. What do you guys build? None of that. Don't worry about it.

59:20 Drew Some stuff.

59:21 Adam Yeah, I'm in charge of quality control.

59:24 Drew Some latex products.

59:25 Adam I make sure the urethra goes at least a quarter inch into Ron's penis. If it's no deeper, I'll have to auger it out with an awl. Okay. All right. And I sniff. You know what I would do? If I own that factory, I'd hire one person just to sniff everything that came down the line, just because I was cruel. It'd be worth the nine bucks an hour. Yeah. Start at that factory, Drew. Manny?

59:50 Caller Hey, how's it going there, Adam?

59:52 Adam Good. Good.

59:54 Caller I just got a question to Dr. Drew about my wife here. She's been breastfeeding. We've had about a year now. Daughter is about a year old. And she lost, I guess, I would say sex drive, is that right? Am I saying that right?

1:00:10 Yeah.

1:00:11 Caller I don't know. It's just, you know, we just, I say within the year, you know, we probably only had sex about five times.

1:00:18 Drew Yes. Women often lose their sex drive for the year after delivery, whether or not they're breastfeeding, but especially when they're breastfeeding.

1:00:25 Adam Especially.

1:00:26 Drew Yeah. And has she been depressed? Are you going to make sure your wife doesn't get pregnant now?

1:00:30 Adam Yeah.

1:00:31 Caller No idea. You know, I mean, we're happy, you know.

1:00:34 Drew Okay. She's okay. But she needs to talk to her doctor about this. There actually are ways to kind of get things going again.

1:00:40 Caller Okay. I think maybe she's on a birth control, I guess. You know, is that, does that?

1:00:47 Drew Well, that can shut things down or kickstart things. So again, if she is still shut down now, in spite of the birth control, she had to go back to her doctor and talk about this. What birth control is she on?

1:00:58 Caller That's the one that they give her a shot, I guess.

1:01:03 Drew OK, Manny, that's the worst one for sex drive for many women. That'll shut them down. So you really need to talk. Yeah, that's a common side effect of that shot. So you can't talk to a doctor by getting her back on a pill or the patch, maybe.

1:01:16 Caller What would be the best? You don't just get a regular birth control pill?

1:01:19 Drew Yeah, the triphasic pill sometimes, for some women, it's a little better in terms of restoring sex drive after pregnancy. OK?

1:01:25 Adam All right, Manny.

1:01:26 Drew Good luck. Good question.

1:01:27 Caller Travis, I'm a big fan of Travis.

1:01:29 Guest Hey, thank you, man. Good luck with yourself, Manny.

1:01:32 Drew Mahalo.

1:01:32 Adam Mahalo. I like a guy named Manny.

1:01:35 Drew Yeah.

1:01:35 Guest Yeah, Manny's are always nice guys.

1:01:36 Adam Manny's a good guy. You don't want him representing you in court because he's showing up in a tank top, but he's got a beer. But he's a good guy to hang with. Manny, Manny will help you out. Hey, Manny, I got to drop the tranny on the El Camino on Sarah. Can you come by? All right. You know what I mean? He's a good man. Everyone should know Manny.

1:01:55 Drew A place called Manny's Pizza in Pasadena.

1:01:57 Adam Not the same.

1:01:58 Caller I had a Manny as a nanny.

1:02:00 Adam Really?

1:02:00 Drew Manny the nanny.

1:02:01 Caller Wow.

1:02:02 Guest What was her name? Manny and?

1:02:03 Caller Mercedes and Manny.

1:02:04 Guest Mercedes and Manuel.

1:02:05 Caller They were husband and wife.

1:02:07 Guest They were a team.

1:02:08 Adam Yeah. Mercedes is a crazy Latin name. Yeah.

1:02:12 Caller Ironic.

1:02:13 Adam I mean, not from Germany.

1:02:14 Guest It's like a stage name or something. Like for a stripper, it's weird driving up to her cell.

1:02:18 Adam But Manny's made great mannys. Got the Mercedes. Let's see, if you're going to name Mercedes, and there's a Porsche name too, you got to have a nice ride when you name Porsche or Mercedes.

1:02:26 Guest Yeah.

1:02:26 Adam And you normally don't.

1:02:27 Drew But it can't be a Porsche.

1:02:29 Adam It could.

1:02:29 Drew Okay.

1:02:30 Adam It could. All right. Where were we?

1:02:32 Drew We're here a song, yeah?

1:02:33 Adam Oh, we're going to hear a song?

1:02:34 Drew Yeah.

1:02:35 Adam Where are we hearing a song from?

1:02:36 Guest It's a band called The Nervous Return. They're on my record label. They're from LA. They're amazing.

1:02:40 Adam Oh, really?

1:02:41 Guest Yes, sir. It's called Dramahead.

1:02:43 Adam Oh, okay.

1:02:44 Guest It's really good.

1:02:45 Adam You queued up? Well, you have to say that.

1:02:48 Guest Good music.

1:02:49 Adam All right. This is what? What did I say?

1:02:52 Guest The Nervous Return.

1:02:54 Adam Oh, Nervous Return. A little song called Dramahead. You know, you have Domino's Pizza. Have you heard? You know, you know what I'm saying? It's cool. Hey, it's cool. Hey, everybody. Yeah. Loveline, that's what I'm talking about. Little something called the Nervous Return. Is it The Nervous Return or is it Nervous Return?

1:06:01 Guest It's The Nervous Return.

1:06:03 Adam Yeah, and that's a band that's on your label.

1:06:05 Guest Yes, sir.

1:06:06 Adam Well, we hope they get big enough to one day be on the show.

1:06:10 Guest Hey, thank you. I hope they do too.

1:06:12 Adam We will get back to the phones and speak to Tanya. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tanya?

1:06:18 Caller Yeah.

1:06:19 Adam Tanya?

1:06:20 Caller Yep.

1:06:20 Adam 21?

1:06:22 Caller Yep.

1:06:23 Adam What's up?

1:06:24 Caller I cannot have an orgasm during intercourse.

1:06:28 Drew That's most women, especially at your age, 21. Well, now hold on.

1:06:33 Adam I've been with women who can't have an orgasm with intercourse. On the other hand, I've been with women who can't have an orgasm with intercourse. So I've been with all kinds of women.

1:06:40 Drew Very common, Tanya.

1:06:42 It really sucks, and it's really frustrating for my boyfriend.

1:06:46 Caller And I mean, we've tried everything, and it's not just him. I've never been able to. But I can masturbate and do it.

1:06:54 Drew Why don't you do that when he's doing his thing? It doesn't work.

1:06:57 Caller It doesn't work that way. I don't know.

1:06:59 Drew That's the way.

1:07:00 It's only like if I do it or.

1:07:02 Drew By the way, that's part of Adam's series, too. Women that try to masturbate and don't have an orgasm during intercourse.

1:07:07 Caller They actually have these cool little vibrator bullet things that you can put on your finger and they're really tiny and you can use it when you have intercourse.

1:07:14 Guest And it goes right above your boyfriend's slash husband's penis.

1:07:19 Adam Two guys in here at once.

1:07:21 Guest Your old man can feel good at the same time, you know?

1:07:24 Adam Yeah.

1:07:24 Drew But a lot of women just cannot do this during intercourse. It's almost like having something inside is inhibitory. You can have it with oral sex though, Tanya, right?

1:07:35 Caller Uh-huh. But it takes really, really long time.

1:07:38 Drew That will get better with time. As you get older, that will get better.

1:07:41 Adam Here's where I decided when we're just sort of orgasmic troublemakers because I can totally get off with my vibrator. All right. Put the vibrator on when your boyfriend's out. No, no, no, no. It's like me saying, I love crushed walnuts. I love ice cream, but don't put them on the ice cream.

1:07:59 Drew Yeah. What?

1:08:00 Adam No, it's better. Any guy just like, look, you like pizza, you like pepperoni, you like a pepperoni pizza.

1:08:07 Drew How dare you? No, I can't handle that.

1:08:09 Adam That's how women are. What the hell is that? You got all the ingredients there.

1:08:15 Drew There is a woman here. Why don't we ask her?

1:08:17 Adam Yeah, but she's not that way.

1:08:18 Drew I know. She's an angel. The women that are not that way.

1:08:21 Adam Straight from heaven.

1:08:22 Drew Think the other ones are either lying or just haven't figured it out yet or met the right guy, when in fact, they're just wired differently.

1:08:28 Caller I was that way when I was younger. But I think when you get into more intimate, deeper relationships, and you actually take the time to get to know each other's bodies in your own body, then it becomes much more easier. And I think it takes a lot of relaxation.

1:08:41 Drew But you gotta understand how profoundly different that is than the male. Yes, I understand. Even the idea of that is confusing to a male. You need time and, huh, what?

1:08:50 Guest But maybe if her old man cares about pleasing her, maybe they can really get in touch with what really gets her off or what really excites her, you know? If they haven't gone there. If it's, you know what I mean? Maybe they're not that close yet or something.

1:09:01 Adam I agree. And a lot of women, I think, obviously, guys don't need this. But women especially, they need to find a guy and they need to dial him in.

1:09:12 Drew Work it out, yeah.

1:09:13 Adam And a lot of women just sort of sit back and take a passive role and say, hey, he doesn't do it for me and I've been with him for three years. You have to train him. I know they don't know to do it.

1:09:23 Guest Hey, that's what I found with Blowjobs. I found something that I like that she did.

1:09:26 Drew But there's no-

1:09:27 Guest And I told her about it and then it gets better.

1:09:29 Drew You know what I mean? But there's no drive, no motivation to do it.

1:09:31 Adam I want to strangle Travis right now. I didn't like BJs, but he came around. What a big man. Not playing his drums, getting a BJ. What a life. Looking at Maybachs, kicking tires. Yeah. Can't fit the drum kit in a Lamborghini. Guess I could get a BJ in this car. Well, I'm not a big fan. Let's keep going. All right. Meet the Barkers, everybody. It is Wednesday night. It's 10 o'clock. We will take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back with Chandra. Feels like boyfriend's penis is hitting her in the back of the vagina, bottoming out. You know what that's like? You know what that's like for a guy?

1:10:12 Guest No.

1:10:13 Caller Do you know what that's like for a woman?

1:10:14 Guest We do that sometimes. There's positions that we can't do.

1:10:16 Adam I'm really angry.

1:10:17 Caller I'm really angry.

1:10:19 Adam I'm livid now. No, but hitting, it's a compliment, but you know what it's like? It's like going for a dunk in hitting your head on the backboard. It's painful, but man, everyone's like, wow, you hit your head on the back. Yeah, I usually have to move it when I jam because I'll catch it on the rim. Wow. You know what I mean?

1:10:40 Drew Yeah. How does the rim feel about it though?

1:10:44 Adam How does the backboard feel about it? How about those guys have to run out with the mop? Those little kids.

1:10:50 Drew They have that, Travis?

1:10:52 Adam Yeah, in the bedroom. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:11:00 Loveline, will be right back.

1:11:12 Adam Civil War talk, you know, it's all just sort of revolutionary stuff. I've never looked at anything. Yeah, everybody. It's the Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, Travis Barker here tonight, Shanna Barker. Here, I guess we should call you Moakler, right? Do you go by Barker?

1:11:31 Caller I go by either or. I still haven't officially changed because I have to go to DMV and Social Security. And it's been a little crazy busy, so.

1:11:37 Adam But are you cool? I mean, you're cool with Barker?

1:11:41 Caller Oh, absolutely. Yeah, I'm very proud of being Mrs. Barker.

1:11:45 Drew She thought you were a offer or something.

1:11:46 Caller Are you cool?

1:11:48 Caller Yeah, I'm all right.

1:11:49 Adam You need another wine cooler, my lady? That's my line at the time. So here's the thing. Uh-oh, someone's smoking weed. Wow. Skunk just blew in here.

1:12:03 Guest I feel like Shanna has my headphones. I'm not that high. I'm like, she has my headphones.

1:12:07 Caller I had them on too and I was like, God, these sounds so weird. Why am I echoing?

1:12:11 Adam This is crazy. Yeah. They smell like downhill.

1:12:14 Guest Let me hear yours so I can hear how I smell.

1:12:16 Adam Wow. Smoking.

1:12:17 Caller I don't like yours. I like mine. This is weird.

1:12:19 Drew Hello.

1:12:20 Adam Hello. Hello. That's good weed.

1:12:21 Guest Thank you.

1:12:22 Drew I can smell you.

1:12:23 Adam Nice. What's an eighth run these days? I think I get back into the weed.

1:12:29 Guest You can buy a good half ounce of Kush for 500 bucks or something.

1:12:35 Drew What's Kush?

1:12:36 Adam I don't know.

1:12:36 Guest What's the best weed in the world?

1:12:37 Adam It's the best weed. It's the Kush weed.

1:12:40 Drew Is it grown out here or is it grown?

1:12:41 Guest I think it's grown out here, yeah. It's all natural. There's no chemicals in it.

1:12:46 Adam You ever eat pot?

1:12:48 Guest No. I like the whole, I stopped smoking for years, like smoking cigarettes. I started smoking marijuana just because it mellows you out. You know what I mean? I run myself ragged. I work too much, so I always do it at the end of the night. But I like the whole act of smoking, so I don't use the vaporizer and I don't put in my cookies or my brownies.

1:13:08 Adam Yeah. Have you ever used one of those vaporizers, Drew? No, I've never done that. All right.

1:13:11 Guest My headphones back.

1:13:12 Adam Yeah. Heats the pot up like super heats the pot.

1:13:14 Guest Headphone Nazi, hold on.

1:13:16 Adam But it doesn't turn into smoke. It turns into vapor.

1:13:19 Guest All I do is.

1:13:20 Adam A lot of doctors recommend it to their chronic hot smoking people who like sing and stuff.

1:13:25 Drew Right. You don't get chronic bronchitis from it.

1:13:27 Adam Yeah.

1:13:28 Drew Everyone smokes pot regularly gets chronic bronchitis. That's the thing.

1:13:30 Adam Oh, really?

1:13:31 Drew Yeah. Very common.

1:13:31 Guest What do you think is worse for you, Dr. Drew? Do you think smoking cigarettes is worse for you or smoking like natural weed?

1:13:38 Caller Natural weed.

1:13:39 Guest Like good weed.

1:13:40 Drew Tobacco is a natural product too. It's just a plant.

1:13:43 Guest I saw a hypnotist and he told me there's 350 poisons in cigarettes.

1:13:48 Adam There are 350. Yeah. Because there's like 325. I'd be cool with it. The 350.

1:13:54 Drew Over the top. There's no doubt that for your overall health in terms of what's going to kill you, nicotine is worse and what kills people in this country, nicotine is worse. But when it really gets a grip on people, it's very difficult to stop and it will cause brain changes.

1:14:09 Adam What is so different about the cigarette smoke and the marijuana smoke? I mean, at least you get to filter in marijuana, right?

1:14:18 Drew In cigarettes.

1:14:19 Adam I mean, I'm sorry, in cigarettes. One is tobacco. They're both just leafy plants that people dry out and smoke. Is there that much processing going on in cigarettes?

1:14:30 Drew No. The carcinogens are released from the tobacco. With the smoke.

1:14:36 Adam But doesn't marijuana have the same smoke?

1:14:38 Drew No, it doesn't.

1:14:38 Adam It's not the same kind of smoke.

1:14:39 Drew Not the same thing. Yeah, it's different.

1:14:40 Adam So it's like burning a tobacco leaf right off the plantation and burning a marijuana plant would be different smoke.

1:14:46 Drew Different smoke.

1:14:47 Adam I mean, in terms of your body.

1:14:48 Drew Different smoke. And the marijuana has, it irritates the lungs, but doesn't cause the vascular damage, we don't think, at least, the way the tobacco does.

1:14:57 Adam Yeah, so I see these ads every once in a while in these sort of drug-free America campaigns and stuff where they're like, what they don't tell you is one, you know, a lot of parents would freak out if their kids smoke cigarettes, but they don't say anything over marijuana. They don't realize one marijuana joint is equivalent to four cigarettes.

1:15:15 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:15:16 Adam But here's the thing. People smoke 30 cigarettes a day.

1:15:20 Guest You really only need to smoke one joint.

1:15:22 Drew Not even one.

1:15:23 Adam I need to smoke a little more.

1:15:24 Guest I need to smoke a little bit more, too, but...

1:15:26 Adam One in a roach. The point is, is, yeah, idiots, you've made your point, but if the person's only smoking, they're not in a rock band, but most people take a couple draws off a roach or a joint, most people who smoke pot, or a lot of people who smoke pot, may smoke less than half a joint a day.

1:15:43 Drew That data is more on specifically airway damage to lungs, and just airway damage to lungs. Nothing to do with heart disease or other things.

1:15:51 Adam It's equivalent if you smoke, have a few hits off a roach when you come home at night. It's like smoking two cigarettes a day. They don't really couch it that way. It's as if you've smoked 20 joints a day instead of 20 cigarettes a day. All right.

1:16:03 Drew The point is, if people are going to try to educate you-

1:16:06 Adam Travis is going to try by the way for the 20 joints a day.

1:16:08 Drew They should not try tricking them. Just be very direct with what the information is. They'll figure it out for themselves.

1:16:13 Adam Right. All right. By the way, yeah, telling a 19-year-old that it's worse for you than cigarettes, doesn't mean anything to a night. It's like telling a 19-year-old, Pepsi is bad for you, start drinking orange juice. So they're like, who cares? I'm skinny, I'm young, what do I care? All right. I was talking about me.

1:16:29 Drew You, of course.

1:16:30 Yeah.

1:16:30 Adam I'm skinny, I'm young.

1:16:31 Drew Yeah, you are, you are, sir.

1:16:33 Adam Chandra?

1:16:34 Drew Young.

1:16:35 Yes.

1:16:35 Adam Chandra?

1:16:36 Yes.

1:16:37 Adam You're 22?

1:16:40 Caller Yeah.

1:16:41 Adam Your boyfriend, his penis is bottoming out.

1:16:45 Caller Yes. I'm a little concerned because it's kind of a recent development, and he's really not that long. I know he'd hate me to say that, but-

1:16:54 Drew Well, as long as you don't say it on national radio or anything.

1:16:56 Adam Yeah.

1:16:57 Guest He's like, shh.

1:16:58 Adam Keep it under your hand.

1:17:00 Drew Have you guys changed positions?

1:17:03 Caller It usually happens if we're doing doggy style or he's on top of me.

1:17:09 Drew Right.

1:17:10 Caller Where does that leave?

1:17:11 Caller Get a liberator.

1:17:13 Caller Oh.

1:17:14 Drew What's that? A grommet?

1:17:16 Guest Yeah. They position the girl in a comfortable position.

1:17:19 Caller They're like arrow dynamical pillows or whatever. They're these really great pillows and they put the woman in a very comfortable position.

1:17:25 Guest We conceived our son on one.

1:17:26 Caller Yeah. They're amazing and they're very comfortable and they help with that. Wait.

1:17:30 Drew What are these things?

1:17:31 Guest They're pillows.

1:17:32 Drew They're designed for sex?

1:17:33 Caller Yeah. They're designed for sex and for conceiving on them. But they're fun. You can have a lot of fun with them.

1:17:38 Drew Where you get them?

1:17:39 Caller You can get them at sex shops, pleasure shops, or adult shops.

1:17:42 Adam The liberal futons plus have them.

1:17:44 Caller Magazines like Vogue and Cosmopolitan have them in the back. Playboy has them.

1:17:50 Adam You go to the high times.

1:17:50 Guest High times.

1:17:51 Drew But some people like the doggy style. They're not going to stop doing that.

1:17:56 Guest No.

1:17:56 Caller You use it doggy style, but it's like a triangle pillow.

1:18:00 Guest The girl gets to rest her tummy and her boobies on there. You know what I mean? So she's not on all fours.

1:18:04 Adam I got one. I've had one. Let me just give you a little tip. Pay the extra and get the scotch guarding. It doesn't. I tried to save a few bucks.

1:18:14 Guest If you have children, our daughter pulls our son around on it, around the house.

1:18:19 Caller They think it's like a gymnastics toy or something.

1:18:21 Guest Or like a piece of furniture. It's not dirty or anything. No, it's not.

1:18:24 Drew Is it a soft thing? Yeah.

1:18:26 Caller It's like one of those, but it's super comfortable. It helps because Travis is large.

1:18:32 Adam Oh, really?

1:18:33 Caller Yes. Just stroking his ego.

1:18:36 Adam Adam's going to pick the crap out of it.

1:18:37 Caller Very well endowed my husband is.

1:18:39 Guest Adam's going to be waiting for me in the park.

1:18:40 Adam You know what? I'll tell you what. Let me tell you just about Travis.

1:18:43 Caller But to a fault because it can be uncomfortable.

1:18:45 Adam Yeah. Unwielding.

1:18:46 Drew Too big, Adam.

1:18:47 Adam It's too big.

1:18:48 Caller That's what we're going to handle.

1:18:49 Drew It's awful.

1:18:50 Caller It's painful.

1:18:51 Adam I got no props. No, here's the thing.

1:18:53 Drew You've been of all kinds of women.

1:18:55 Caller Here's the thing.

1:18:55 Drew Women that don't orgasm.

1:18:56 Adam With the Cannabinoid Orgasm, with AirCorp, and others with Cannabinoid Orgasm, with AirCorp. That's our new Dr. Drew. All right, now here's what I want to say about Travis.

1:19:07 Drew I'm putting that in with the rape material.

1:19:08 Adam I bet you Travis has a large penis, but I bet part of it is the frame that it's on.

1:19:17 Caller He's as thick as he is long.

1:19:19 Adam He has a narrow waist, and not a ton of ass, and therefore it's like a big mailbox on a small lawn.

1:19:29 Drew That's right.

1:19:30 Adam That's what I'm saying. Now, if you had a big old lawn. Now, I'm saying a nice penis, I'm sure, but made even bigger, even bigger by the fact. See, when you have a guy who has 2% body fat and goes a buck 50 and he has a big dong on him, it is that much more impressive.

1:19:52 Guest No, it does. If you're skinny or if you're in shape, it makes you.

1:19:55 Adam Yeah, it's much better.

1:19:56 Guest You look different.

1:19:57 Adam Yeah.

1:19:58 Guest If you don't have a big old gut.

1:20:00 Adam Listen, who are you talking to? You got Drew over here.

1:20:02 Guest I know you guys are both in shape and you outran me one time. I was thinking about the end of the day, but I want to re-challenge you because I'm in shape now. It was like a couple of years ago and I was smoking a lot.

1:20:11 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:20:11 Guest But you killed me. He murdered me in a race.

1:20:16 Adam We did something down at the NFL Experience for the Super Bowl. Yeah, I forgot about that. Yeah, I ran around with Blink 182.

1:20:24 Guest It was so funny. He kicked our butt at every sport.

1:20:27 Adam No, I think Mark may have won in the sprint. All right. Where are we, Drew? What's going on? Oh, she's bottoming out. Yeah, I forgot about that.

1:20:36 Guest Yeah, the Liberator. By the Liberator. Seriously.

1:20:38 Drew So Chandra.

1:20:39 Adam Yeah, but aren't you going to bottom out even deeper on the Liberator?

1:20:42 Guest No, we've had that problem before.

1:20:44 Adam Oh, you had the bottom out problem.

1:20:45 Guest Yeah, like in certain positions and then when we have the Liberator, there's no problem.

1:20:49 Drew It's crazy. Chandra. So the deal is its position is whether it's Liberator or whether you are more careful with your doggie style or avoid doggie style.

1:20:58 Adam Oh, you know, you got to get the new one with the cup holder still.

1:21:01 Drew The beer.

1:21:01 Adam It's not like a beverage.

1:21:03 Drew Coffee.

1:21:03 Adam You know, I run dry.

1:21:04 Guest He can always chill out a little bit too, right? He doesn't have to go.

1:21:07 Drew That's right. I like to replenish the electrolytes. I'm sure he's impressing himself by doing this, but he has to know that it hurts you. And what he's doing is he's hitting up against your cervix. That's what happens. Yeah, it's a good feeling.

1:21:18 Caller It feels like I'm losing my breath.

1:21:20 Drew Yeah, well, it's a visceral experience. I mean, it's pushing on your guts.

1:21:23 Adam Tell him to slow it down a little bit, all right? I mean, he can do that. He can not bottom out. Just tell him not to get a running start.

1:21:31 Guest Or maybe she can be on top. That way she can control it.

1:21:33 Adam You control the depth.

1:21:35 Drew But it sounds like he's not into that. It sounds like he's into his thing.

1:21:38 Caller Well, no, I'm into the doggie style too. Occasionally, it bottoms out and it hurts.

1:21:45 Caller Dr. Drew, I have a question. Does it affect women when they have their periods or stuff like that? Does that make a difference?

1:21:53 Drew Yeah, because there's obviously some swelling and some vascular congestion down there then, so it's more easy to hit it and it's more irritable. It hurts more.

1:22:00 Adam Let me tell you what I would do. I mean, it's no liberator, but it's a cheap fix. I like to work with wood. You see, I have skills outside the studio as well. If you're using a drill bit and you're drilling like a multi-hole in a partition or something, you don't want to pop through the other side sometimes.

1:22:19 Drew Exactly.

1:22:20 Adam Put a little thing of tape around it so you know when to stop.

1:22:22 Drew Tape around the drill bit?

1:22:24 Adam Yeah. Why not do that with the penis?

1:22:26 Drew Absolutely.

1:22:26 Adam A little piece of duct tape at the halfway point, that's as far as you go.

1:22:29 Drew There we go.

1:22:30 Adam A little visual reminder.

1:22:31 Drew How about some of those drills that release when they get to the other side?

1:22:36 Adam No, I don't know what you're talking about.

1:22:37 Drew Neurosurgeons have these things that if they're drilling through the skull, it just stops it when it gets to the-

1:22:42 Adam Oh, when it breaks there?

1:22:43 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

1:22:44 Adam I'm a woodworker and a neurosurgeon.

1:22:45 Drew I'm just saying. It's the bottom of the body here.

1:22:48 Adam A penis that releases?

1:22:49 Caller Yeah.

1:22:50 Adam I've seen those. Once I do look in the magazines and I see those liberator things, and it always takes me a minute. There's always a hot chick.

1:22:58 Guest Yeah, you're always confused, like, what's going on here?

1:22:59 Caller Every magazine is different. Playboy, it's sexy and they're all naughty on it.

1:23:04 Guest In hardcore magazines, they're raunchy.

1:23:06 Caller It's just kind of like sweet next to it, you know?

1:23:08 Adam I wonder if there's a, I should invest in this company.

1:23:11 Guest Yep.

1:23:11 Caller You should.

1:23:12 Adam Be the spokesperson.

1:23:12 Drew Let's buy it, let's buy the patent. Let's buy the liberator.

1:23:14 Adam Yeah.

1:23:15 Caller And you can build a factory.

1:23:16 Drew We'll call it the destroyer. We'll ramp it up a little bit.

1:23:20 Adam And I'll immediately make modification, like your company's logo here, drink holders, like I said, the Scotch Gardening.

1:23:28 Drew You can put Porto on the things.

1:23:31 Adam Oh, a little video, a little heads up video display for the fellas.

1:23:34 Guest Make one that's like a mirror, like people could see. Oh, look at that.

1:23:38 Drew Love the Travis design.

1:23:40 Guest I'll do like a signature series. It means Shane will be in the ad.

1:23:43 Adam Yeah, you put the symbol up there, so when you orgasm, paint.

1:23:46 Guest Yeah, you hit splash symbols when you orgasm.

1:23:48 Adam Yeah, well, I had, if you can't get a boner. And any do the SpongeBob one for the kids who like to play with it, drag them around. Wow, this is awesome. This is a money maker. We probably said too much.

1:24:02 Drew Is this thing on? Is this thing on?

1:24:03 Adam They take these ideas and run with them. All right, let's take a little break here. We have Travis and Shanna tonight from Meet the Barkers. We will, imagine with that Liberator, that thing must get a funk going after a few months. Couple of summers on that Liberator. I think that will smell like just one pile of sack. Imagine that thing. You got to send that thing out every once in a while.

1:24:25 Drew Sack and semen.

1:24:26 Adam Just one big mess. You can send that every once in a while. Just bring that through the coin up car wash and just take it and give it a good hose.

1:24:34 Guest I just take it outside and hose it down when I do the car or something every once in a while.

1:24:38 Adam Just hit it good every once in a while and then a quick coat of armor all and right back into the bedroom. All right, we'll be right back after this. Loveline, we'll be right back. Yeah, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, Shanna Travis here tonight. They watched the fabulous program, Meet the Barkers. Now, you have a one-year-old, and Shanna, you have a four-year-old.

1:25:17 Caller I have a six-year-old from a previous relationship.

1:25:19 Adam Is she six?

1:25:20 Caller She's six, yeah. And I have a one-and-a-half-year-old, Travis, and I have a one-and-a-half-year-old little boy.

1:25:26 Adam And is that Oscar De La Hoya's girl?

1:25:29 Caller Yes.

1:25:29 Adam And how's he doing? Is he around? Does he take care of her? Does he see her, give you some money?

1:25:34 Caller He's financially, financially responsible, but-

1:25:37 Guest No, he didn't call on her birthday. He didn't.

1:25:39 Adam Really?

1:25:40 Caller He's financially takes care of her, but he's not very-

1:25:43 Adam What's, I mean, I don't want to turn this to a mudslinging thing, but is there some, is he angry? Or is it just out of it?

1:25:51 Caller I don't know. I don't know. I don't speak with him. I don't really, you know, just kind of moved on.

1:25:56 Drew Did his parents not take care of him?

1:25:58 Caller No.

1:25:59 Adam No. His mom was around and she died. And he's the biggest fan and all that stuff. And his dad was around. Yeah. It's weird. That is weird. Well, I mean, most guys just sort of are, however they were raised, that's how they raised their kids. If their folks were around, then they're around. Yeah.

1:26:16 Caller I think there's more going on than that, but it is what it is, and I've made amends with it and moved on, and actually in a better place.

1:26:26 Adam Well, this one's to check glares, but now then Travis could adopt her if he wanted at some point, right?

1:26:36 Caller Yeah. I don't think Oscar would allow that. I don't know why, but I could go back to court and stuff, but it's-

1:26:43 Drew I don't think he'd be in a position not to allow it.

1:26:45 Adam Yeah. I don't know how any of that stuff works. I don't know how the adoption. I know a lot of step-dads adopt their kids, but I don't know if you need the permission of the guy or you can just prove in court.

1:26:59 Caller You have to go to court and you have to-

1:27:01 Drew Prove it has not been available.

1:27:02 Caller Yeah. That kind of thing. But Oscar's her father and Travis her daddy, and that's how we look at it.

1:27:09 Adam I like that.

1:27:10 Guest I love her just like she's mine.

1:27:12 Adam Yeah.

1:27:13 Caller They have a really special relationship, and Travis really wonderful with her. So if there was a problem where she was asking me about him and things like that, I guess I would look more into it, but she's really well-balanced and she's in a really amazing place. I think we've done a really great job.

1:27:29 Guest So she gets a lot of love.

1:27:31 Caller A lot of love.

1:27:31 Adam Yeah. She could have got stuck with my stepdad, John. I said three words that I got an entire time. Nice guy.

1:27:38 Drew He's on a factory tour.

1:27:39 Adam Not sure what he does.

1:27:41 Drew Works in a factory.

1:27:42 Adam Well, he works at.

1:27:44 Drew That's all you wanted as a factory tour.

1:27:47 Adam I really love military aircraft and he works building military aircraft at Lockheed but he can't talk about it because he's got one of them security things. So that was about it.

1:27:58 Drew Do you think he actually has that or maybe just paranoid and won't talk about it?

1:28:03 Adam You may be right because one time I want to talk to him about the beach and he said he had a security problem. So he can't talk about the ocean. Yes, it made me suspicious at the time. You're right. Made me think maybe just didn't want to talk.

1:28:15 Drew Right.

1:28:16 Adam All right.

1:28:17 Drew And then he's got his tools chained down.

1:28:19 Adam No I'm not. Yeah. Oh my family. What a mess. Bunch of losers. I'll tell you what. But you know, it was weird because one day when I was like in high school, I heard my stepdad call in to a radio talk advice show.

1:28:36 Caller Wow.

1:28:37 Adam Yeah.

1:28:38 Caller About what?

1:28:39 Adam You know, impotence.

1:28:41 Caller Like damn step kids.

1:28:42 Drew What was it?

1:28:43 Adam Yeah.

1:28:43 Caller Yeah.

1:28:44 Adam I don't know. Oh, you know, he was like having a beef with the neighbor or something. And here's the thing. It was weird.

1:28:50 Drew That's a paranoid thing, too.

1:28:52 Adam I was just listening. And don't make fun of people who call in talk radio shows.

1:28:57 Drew I'm just saying, the neighbor thing, the security suspicion thing, the chained down tools.

1:29:03 Adam Everyone's a mess in my family. Even the outsiders, even the non-blood ones.

1:29:07 Drew Did you ever see the neighbor do anything?

1:29:09 Adam No, they were having an argument or something. I don't know what the topic is. The point is, she was like, do you have any kids? And he was like, yeah, I got some step kids. And I was like, uh-oh. Here we go. I'm sexually attracted to the boy. I smell his underpants when he's at school every day. I was like, uh-oh, brace. You know that weird position you get in? Prepare for weirdness. It's like that crash position you get in. It's a prepare for weirdness.

1:29:35 Drew Duck and cover.

1:29:36 Adam Yeah, it's like when your wife gets drunk and it's at a dinner party, it's like, oh, back of the day, uh-oh, brace for weirdness. Something weird could happen. Brace for weirdness and it was good because he's like, I don't get along with the girl that much but the boy is cool. I realize, I look down, I saw my penis and I said, yes, that's me, that is me. Let me tell you something, Drew. I've been with all kinds of women.

1:30:01 Drew Some have orgasms. Some don't have orgasms.

1:30:03 Adam Some have orgasms with intercourse, others don't have orgasms with intercourse.

1:30:06 Drew Some not with oral sex.

1:30:08 Adam Some not with oral sex.

1:30:09 Drew Some not with intercourse.

1:30:10 Adam Matt?

1:30:11 Caller Yeah.

1:30:12 Adam You're 19?

1:30:13 Caller Yes, sir. How are you doing, Adam? I'm a big fan of yours and Dr. Drew, I love you guys' work.

1:30:19 Adam Thank you.

1:30:21 Caller I have this big problem. I've been wanting to see this stripper, right? Her name is Crystal and I'm like, I don't know what to do because I'm really in love with her.

1:30:34 Adam Sure.

1:30:34 Caller I can't go any day without stop thinking about her.

1:30:36 Adam Yeah, but that's just because you're a loser, it's not because you're in love.

1:30:39 Caller I don't know if that's the reason. I don't really know.

1:30:42 Drew Have you ever had any kind of relationship with her?

1:30:45 Caller No, not really.

1:30:47 Drew Have you ever talked to her?

1:30:48 Caller Yeah, we talk all the time. I take her out to breakfast once in a while when she gets out of work. I go up and see her all the time.

1:30:55 Adam Breakfast is dinner for strippers by the way. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah.

1:30:59 Guest You make out with her or anything?

1:31:01 Caller I just don't know really what to do about it and I was hoping I could get some advice.

1:31:05 Adam All right. Well, we've throw Drew out of the mix, but I'm guessing Travis has been to a strip joint or two.

1:31:11 Guest Yeah. Do you kiss her and stuff? Does she show interest in you?

1:31:14 Caller Yeah. She always kisses me and she does show interest.

1:31:17 Adam No. Her kissing you and you kissing is different.

1:31:21 Guest Not like a kiss, not like a bonafide kiss. Does she kiss you and touch you and mess with you? Yeah.

1:31:28 Caller Yeah.

1:31:30 Adam You've gotten tongue action?

1:31:32 Caller One.

1:31:33 Adam That's not always kissing by the way.

1:31:36 Drew Again.

1:31:36 Adam You're ramming, darting your tongue like a sidewinder into her mouth while she's giving you a peck on the cheek. It's not tongue action.

1:31:44 Drew But you're also, you're getting involved with somebody that may not be capable of having a relationship. That's maybe all she can do.

1:31:49 Adam Not with him. Not with him.

1:31:51 Caller I don't know if I should just come forward and ask her and tell her my feelings.

1:31:56 Guest How old are you?

1:31:58 Caller I'm 19.

1:31:58 Adam That's gonna freak her out.

1:31:59 Guest You know what, man? I wouldn't talk to her about anything. I would just hang out with her and enjoy her. Man, you're young, and I don't know if you want an old lady. At the end of the day, that's a stripper. It might be good right now and it might look cool right now, but down the road, you know?

1:32:14 Adam Yeah, when you're in your 50s. Travis is still dancing.

1:32:17 Guest No, I am guilty. My wife always teases me. That's all I used to mess with is strippers, but at the end of the day, man, it's unfulfilling. It's cool for the moment, but it all depends on what you want, though.

1:32:28 Adam That's where you go to the next one, by the way.

1:32:30 Guest Yeah, exactly. As long as you're ready to move on real quick.

1:32:33 Drew What's that, man?

1:32:33 Caller I can't stop thinking about her. It's like when I'm away from her, it's like I'm physically sick.

1:32:39 Adam All right. Well, hold on, man.

1:32:40 Drew That's not normal, man.

1:32:41 Adam Let me straighten you out. The reason, first off, when you get these sort of obsessions with people, it usually means the rest of your life is not going too well.

1:32:47 Drew And you may have an obsessive-compulsive trait, too.

1:32:49 Adam Okay. Is this a totally nude blaze or topless?

1:32:52 Guest Totally nude.

1:32:53 Adam Uh-oh. That just means she's a little nuttier.

1:32:55 Guest Have you had sex with her yet?

1:32:57 Adam Hell no.

1:32:58 Guest No. Well, maybe that's what needs to happen.

1:32:59 Adam Maybe if he has sex with her, he's not in a band, the trash. You're talking to him like he said, the fourth member of Blink. The guy works at a jiffy loop. He's not getting that kind of tail. Look, Matt, next time you go out with her, go out with her at night, have a couple of cocktails, and see if you can go somewhere. Don't profess. Okay. Just have one cocktail then. Don't profess your love to her. You'll freak her out. That's the only shot. She's spinning you around.

1:33:27 Drew You got nothing. You got to break the habit.

1:33:29 Adam It's never going to work.

1:33:30 Drew This is like an addiction.

1:33:30 Adam Just don't do anything stupid.

1:33:32 Drew Yeah.

1:33:32 Adam Okay.

1:33:32 Guest Just enjoy yourself.

1:33:33 Adam Which really, in Matt's case, will be not doing anything.

1:33:36 Drew Tell him to enjoy himself with her.

1:33:37 Caller Actually, I have a lot of girlfriends who are dancers, and what they do with a lot of young guys like this is they just use them for even the smallest amount of money that they can get.

1:33:45 Guest Yeah. So don't spend no bread on her. Don't.

1:33:47 Adam That root and tootie, fresh and fruity at 4 in the morning by her is way too much. We'll take a break. We'll be right back.

1:33:54 Caller You'd be surprised what they can get out of those poor guys.

1:34:25 Drew But that's different than Crazy Bitch.

1:34:27 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah, because that's how it is.

1:34:28 Caller I mean, if you look in the encyclopedia, like, here's her face, like, it's scary.

1:34:33 Drew Probably treated her.

1:34:36 Adam A little facial. Yeah. Come on, Drew, up top. Up top. Up top.

1:34:43 Caller Yeah!

1:34:44 Adam All right, everyone, that's the Barkers. God bless them. You kids come back any time. We're still on the air, Travis. Meet the Barkers Wednesday nights, 10 o'clock on MTV. I'll be watching this Wednesday. And then next Wednesday, I'll watch Drew's show and we'll go back and forth.

1:35:04 Drew No TiVo, though, no TiVo.

1:35:05 Adam Thanks, guys. Always good seeing you guys again.

1:35:07 Caller Thank you so much for having us.

1:35:09 Adam And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo.

1:35:15 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:35:19 Adam The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

Episode Feedback

Tuesday, April 26, 2005