Episode 1000705060845

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:07 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:13 Voiceover This is Loveline.

1:17 Voiceover With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:20 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Dr. Drew. Board Certified Physician and Addiction Medicine Specialist. Tonight, we're both very excited to welcome back to the show, Seth MacFarlane.

1:34 How's it going, guys?

1:34 Adam The voice, the creator, the brains, the soul behind the Family Guy. And the Family Guy is really, well, first off, I should get credit for being on to the Family Guy.

1:46 Drew Now, listen, hold on. Somehow, I need to make up to Adam for this fact, because he brings this up every three or four days.

1:53 Adam First off, we got a million of these things to get in.

1:55 Drew This is one that comes up all the time that I'm getting tired of, because I picked up your crusade, I picked up your banner and run with it.

2:02 Adam I know.

2:02 Drew So I need a little bit of a resolution of this.

2:05 Adam Drew comes in and he'll go, do you see the Family Guy? And I'm saying, well, I've seen every episode five times. I'm guessing I have seen it.

2:12 And both of you guys have done the show this season. Both Adam and Dr. Drew will be a guest on our Family Guy this season.

2:18 Adam The new season airs Sunday, actually a week from today. Right? Nine o'clock on Fox. The, it's been many years in the making, it feels like. But it's really, first off, it's a really cool show to get behind. And it's nice because once in a while, you know, once in a while you hear about the new Vin Diesel kindergarten cop movie, tops 130 million at the box office. And you're like, is there a God? Where's God?

2:51 Drew Where's God in this?

2:52 Adam There's no God. Meanwhile, arrested development's on the fence, doesn't look like it's gonna make the cut next year. And it's just like, you sort of walk around, you're going, executives are stupid, the audience is stupid, what do you want? It's just, they're creating just junk for the masses.

3:05 Drew The Odyssey. Yeah. The nature of evil in society. Right. Well, why does it exist?

3:09 Adam Right, good and evil. The point is, is the Family Guy comes around, it's a great show, the execs get to it, they kick it around, it goes to a few different nights, loses the audience, it goes away. But then, like a phoenix, it rises from the ashes, ends up on a cartoon network, finds its audience, starts selling millions of DVDs and the execs wise up. And it's really, not since I launched my letter writing campaign for Cagney and Lacey in 1978 have I felt this apart.

3:44 You're a big Sharon Gilles guy.

3:45 Yeah.

3:46 Adam Oh, oh yeah.

3:47 Oh yeah.

3:48 Adam I mean, I was 13, but I said, that chick has it. I knew what it was back then. And we didn't have, you know, e-mails back then. I had to write them all with a burnt stick.

3:59 Drew We didn't have computers. The typewriter was one of those little, it wasn't even electric. Your house.

4:03 Adam Are you kidding? The Corollas were still 30 years away from a typewriter. Yeah. We were using Gutenberg's press.

4:10 Drew I knew that we were on to something when I heard the UCLA marching band at a football game this season playing the Family Guy theme song.

4:18 That was one of the coolest things I think I've ever heard.

4:21 Drew That's, I was sitting there and I thought, oh my God, this is cool. That's what I thought.

4:24 Adam Were you at that game?

4:26 Drew No, no, no, no, no.

4:27 I heard, actually I heard about this from Drew and it's, it was just amazing. It's, every little piece of information like that that I hear to this day, the first thought that goes through my head is, God, people are actually watching this thing, that's great.

4:40 Adam Yeah, you know you've arrived in the band.

4:42 This inferiority complex that's so deep rooted.

4:44 Adam Yeah, good, keep you hungry.

4:46 Drew You'll be well suited to this little, three of us.

4:49 Adam Yeah, we'll see you get along well. Fat and soft, you need the eye of the geek. You have to think you don't have money and you can't get laid, so you can keep your creative juices flowing.

5:01 That's really what it comes down to. You have to constantly beat yourself up and say, I'm not good enough at anything. And you will be.

5:07 Adam They talk about that eye of the tiger as it pertains to a fighter. Maybe someone does some manual work or maybe in business, but in the creative endeavors, you need the eye of the nerd. You have to always feel not good enough, like we're gonna get picked for the team, like you couldn't get a prom date. That keeps you hungry. When the nerd guy gets some cool frames and some cool shoes and starts driving a convertible Porsche, he loses his creative juices.

5:32 Drew It's over.

5:33 Adam Keep the eye of the nerd, my friend.

5:34 Yeah, that's the task.

5:36 Adam Yeah, you gotta keep it real. You gotta do some nerd activities, like go wait in line for Star Wars movie, get shot down over the internet with some chicks.

5:45 Caller I'm pretty up on my Star Trek quotes, so I think I got it under control.

5:49 Adam All right.

5:50 Caller Yeah, I'll listen to that.

5:51 Drew He spends time in Rhode Island, his time off.

5:53 Adam Oh, really? Oh, yeah, that's right. And now, where's your whole family by Massachusetts?

5:59 Caller They're all out in California now. They followed me out here, yeah.

6:04 Drew Geez, I ate co-hog this summer.

6:06 Caller Did you really?

6:06 Drew Yeah.

6:07 Caller You ate a co-hog?

6:07 Drew I had co-hog, yeah.

6:08 Caller Wow.

6:08 Drew It's especially like baked thing. Yeah. They put it in a bake deal. I never had co-hog before.

6:12 Adam Do you have siblings?

6:14 Caller I have one younger sister who actually is a member of the cast of American Dad through, none of my doing, believe it or not.

6:21 Adam Sure, I know.

6:22 Drew How could it be?

6:23 Adam Yeah, it would be possible. Well, first off, I've never had any nepotism in this town. That's the guy, I'm sure. I'm telling you that right now. Really? How did she get on?

6:32 Caller Well, it was actually kind of nice because she did the rough animatic for us as a temporary voice, and then we recast her. Fox came to me and said, you know, we're not sure that the new voice is working with the character, and we'd like to use your sister, if that's all right with you. And it was great because I was just like, yeah, sure. God, easiest person in the world to direct.

6:59 Adam I had the, we'd like to use your sister, request of me many years ago, and I was like, well, I gotta be, it's all something for taste.

7:07 Caller Well, they asked about that, too, but that's where I drew the line.

7:10 Adam You know, I have done that, done some animation where they have that placeholder voice. That's your voice. Oftentimes in my low self-esteem world, it actually sounds better than mine. The stupid, the stupid engineer guy going, oh, I always think it's better. It sounds better and I'm marginally insulted by how bad he's trying to make himself sound. Seth MacFarlane in the studio tonight, the family guy. Now, let me ask you this, Seth, and I don't know if you thought about this, but now that it's getting back on the air, and it's getting back on a network, and it's going into prime time and everything, is there pressure and in a way, is there a part of you that likes just the cool fringe part, where you get to be the underdog, and everyone gets to come up to you and go, this show is so cool, this guy is so stupid, you're taking off there, you should make a million of them.

8:04 Caller You're reading my mind.

8:05 Adam Thank you.

8:05 Caller You're reading my mind.

8:07 Adam You should kill yourself. You'd be a hero and a legend. You'd be like Eddie and the Cruisers. You come back to do another animated series in ten years.

8:17 Caller I'll buy a motorcycle and get up the courage to drive it off the curb.

8:20 Adam Seth and the Cruisers. That doesn't work.

8:23 Caller No, it's... Yeah, I worry about that all the time, particularly now, because there's been so much promotion and so much exposure that I do start to worry that we're, you know, is this no longer going to be... I mean, you know, if we go on the air and get, you know, continue to get a six share, then we'll be fine. But yeah, you know, I do worry that, God, you know, that there is a coolness factor.

8:48 Drew I watched the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory beer version tonight.

8:52 Adam Oh, yeah, that's a good one.

8:53 Drew Yeah, you do a couple of those, you don't have to worry about.

8:55 Adam Yeah.

8:55 Drew You don't have to worry about it.

8:56 Caller Well, the shows are the same.

8:57 Adam I mean, the shows are, are, are, you know, it's as if you'd picked up right where you left off.

9:03 Caller That's the idea. That's the idea. We didn't change anything. We didn't want to revamp anything or spruce anything up. It's the exact same, you know, exact same show.

9:12 Adam Wow. I read here that The Family Guy is the fourth largest DVD seller of all TV shows.

9:19 Drew Wow. Fascinating.

9:20 Adam That's crazy.

9:21 Drew That's interesting.

9:22 Adam Good piece of trivia.

9:23 Drew After The Man Show and then fourth?

9:25 Adam Yeah. Then there's Cranky Anchors and then there's What's Happening? Red Handed. That's another show I did a voiceover for. That's what got me minus four stars in the post. Man Show only got me minus three. Someone reminded me the other day.

9:38 Caller They do minus stars?

9:39 Adam Oh, for Adam. Probably for me. They roll out to minus stars. I owe stars. Wow.

9:45 Caller You get the little turkey.

9:47 Adam I get minus stars. As a matter of fact, if it was a report card, I would take an eraser to the minus or put a plus by it and say, Dad, look, plus four stars. I do just a quick little modification.

10:01 Caller That's what I do with the Entertainment Weekly reviews. I make the D look like a B and I've said it to my parents.

10:07 Adam Smart. Yeah. You get the minus four stars and the minus three. By the way, if you're going to give minus three, just go ahead and minus four. It was horrible and horrific, but-

10:18 Caller They're not monsters, Adam. Yeah.

10:19 Adam It was horrific, but I never felt like I was in danger from watching. So I'm only going to give it minus three stars. By the way, what does that do to the guys you gave one and a half or two stars to?

10:29 Caller What is that?

10:29 Adam They're plus six.

10:30 Caller Makes them self-righteous.

10:32 Caller Yeah.

10:32 Adam They're free on top of the world. Let me ask this. Another thing. Seth has a beautiful grand piano. It's probably a Steinway in his living room, which he likes to perch himself on just about every night playing for the ladies with a brandy snifter.

10:50 Drew Well, I'm going to come sing when we do.

10:52 Caller That's right. Drew, we found out tonight. Drew was an opera singer.

10:55 Drew Anderson, he had never heard me sing.

10:56 Adam Drew, we do torch songs while you wax poetic at the 88s. You're just tickling the 88s, Drew.

11:03 Caller Like Sinatra and Crosby in High Society. Come on.

11:05 Adam Yeah.

11:05 Caller Come on, kids.

11:06 Adam Is Anderson there?

11:08 Drew Anderson?

11:19 Caller Listen to that.

11:19 Drew Here's a training.

11:22 Caller That'll be great.

11:23 Adam Who's playing the piano here?

11:25 Caller The man sounds good.

11:26 Drew Some guy, Ben Stein, that I hired.

11:28 Adam Oh, in person. It's going to be awesome.

11:32 Drew All right. All right.

11:32 Caller All right.

11:36 Drew We're pretty sure Seth's going to see all the cheating.

11:38 Adam This is the point where he flings his cape off into the audience and the chicks tear it apart.

11:41 Caller I lost my virginity to that song.

11:46 Drew All right.

11:46 Adam All right.

11:46 Drew All right.

11:47 Adam All right. All right. All right. Anyway, well, if you ever get invited to one of Seth's...

11:52 Drew It would be so much fun.

11:53 Adam I went, but I couldn't find Seth. Word has it he was on the roof getting stoned the entire time. But I did hobnob with many of the other folks over there. So we have questions for Seth.

12:04 Drew Lots of calls for Seth, yeah.

12:05 Adam Yeah. Which is...

12:06 Drew You want to start with that or just go to the... Mix it up a little bit.

12:10 Adam Let's see.

12:11 Drew This is the most interesting one.

12:12 Adam All right. Let's talk to Victor who's 17. Victor?

12:16 Yeah. Hey guys. Adam?

12:18 Adam There we go.

12:19 You are?

12:19 Adam Victor, 17 year old with Seth MacFarlane. Hey.

12:24 Caller I just wanted to know how you came up with the concept of the characters for the show.

12:30 Caller Boy, it's funny and I never get asked that. I think I can answer that now.

12:36 Caller No.

12:37 Caller I grew up in New England and I notice a lot in sitcoms. They deal with the Midwest. They deal with the South. They deal with LA and no one ever goes near New England. I think Costello was the last...

12:48 Adam They do a lot of New York, a lot of LA., all the stereotypes.

12:51 Drew They're going to do Boston or Massachusetts if they do New England.

12:53 Caller Yeah. And Rhode Island is... I spent a lot of time in Rhode Island with the college there, and it's got so much character that... You know, I figured when I want to produce something that kind of takes me back to where I spent a lot of my youth.

13:08 Adam Seems like New England and the area in general has just been on the map, like nobody's business over the last like four years, maybe two years.

13:18 Drew Because of the Red Sox and the Patriots.

13:19 Adam The Sox, the Patriots, seems like every other guy I meet now is from that area.

13:23 Drew You know what some of that is?

13:24 Adam Maybe people are just lying.

13:25 Drew No, you notice that higher education really came on in the like 60s, in that area. It was not just elitist education, it became higher education. And so people started flocking there and then zooming out to the rest of the country.

13:36 Adam Well, I was in New Orleans for New England's first Super Bowl victory. And that's when I realized that almost everyone from that neck of the woods was an A-hole. Because they were not celebrating.

13:47 Drew Look at Seth.

13:49 Caller I'm a complete A-hole.

13:50 Adam They were not celebrating the Pats victory. They were looking for Rams fans.

13:55 Caller Well, it's right there in the dialect, you know, there's nothing gentle about, you know, you can't pack over here. You know, that's a belligerent dialect.

14:04 Adam Right. But somewhere, and I'm trying to think of when it was, it must have been about six years ago, celebrating a victory became abusing the other team.

14:14 Drew Haunting the losers.

14:15 Adam Yeah. I always liked that one. Nobody thought we could do it. Nobody. None of you said we could do it. The only people thought we'd do it are right here in this locker room.

14:24 We're the only people.

14:25 Adam Really? There's a lot of money bet. A lot of folks bet on it. No one. And then they shocked the world. I like that one too. When people make the pronouncement, they've just shocked the world. All right. Let's see. Oh, double Ds. Here we go. Jill? Yeah. You're 13?

14:45 Caller Yeah.

14:45 Drew She should have looked at the age. Yeah.

14:47 Adam What's up?

14:50 Well, I have a double D.

14:51 Caller Bouncy, Bouncy.

14:55 And I was wondering, how long is it going to take until there's neck and back issues? Because they're not-

15:03 Drew Well, yeah, you're 13.

15:05 Caller I want to ride the pony, Dad.

15:06 Drew No, see, that's the difference.

15:07 Adam What? She doesn't have that little girl voice?

15:09 Drew She doesn't have that voice. She has a young person's voice.

15:13 Adam Old woman's boobs.

15:14 Yeah.

15:15 Drew It's hard to say. It depends how big the rest of you are, how your back hygiene is. Some women can go through life with that and not have back and neck problems. But obviously, the longer you go, the more likely there is to be trouble.

15:26 Adam What would you do to strengthen your back?

15:29 Drew Pilates.

15:30 Adam Pilates?

15:30 Drew Yeah.

15:31 Adam You would.

15:31 Drew Yeah, we'd do core exercises and ballet would be that kind of thing. Things where you're working your posture.

15:37 Adam They put you in that unitar and everyone goes nuts.

15:40 Drew I know. She wouldn't be in the ballet.

15:42 Adam She wouldn't be in the ballet. What would she do?

15:44 Drew She'd be just practicing.

15:45 Adam Practicing? Even that's enough.

15:47 Drew I know for you.

15:48 Adam That's enough. I'd blow that cod piece right out.

15:50 Drew Indeed you would.

15:51 Adam And I wasn't even involved with dance. I just wear a cod piece, fill out the gym shorts a little bit.

15:57 Drew What are you going to do?

15:58 Adam Yeah, why wear a cup?

15:59 Caller It's just an affectation.

16:00 Drew Cups are out.

16:01 Adam Cups are out. Wear a cod piece and a mercant. Two or three mercants under it. I would have a mercant in my car, one in my gym locker, multiple mercants, multiple cod pieces.

16:13 Caller Let's see, that's just ostentatious.

16:15 Adam And a sword and a cape, and that would be it. During the summer, of course, yeah. Yeah. All right, so Jill has no idea what mercant or cod piece or even sword or cape is.

16:26 Drew Thankfully, thankfully, I'll be cringing here.

16:27 Caller But she's laughing politely.

16:28 Drew She sounds funny, Adam. And so Jill, why are you worrying about this now? It's like Bob Hope.

16:32 Caller People used to take for granted that Bob Hope told a joke.

16:34 Drew That's right. Why are you worried about this now? You're just sort of anticipating trouble?

16:39 Yeah, because they're not stopping growing. I've hit puberty already and I'm stopping my height, and I'm like 5'2, somewhere around there. I haven't measured it in a while. Anyway...

16:55 Drew So you're tiny with this large...

16:57 Yeah, and it's kind of embarrassing.

17:01 Adam Yeah. All right. Well, look, we all have our crosses to bear.

17:04 Drew Yeah, so really what's motivating your call is how difficult it is to grow into your body and how difficult your peers, your female peers look at you differently and your male peers look at you differently. It's not so much about your back. It's about living with this and the way people treat you when you look like that.

17:17 Adam Well, you know, people make a big deal out of it, or you make a big deal out of this, but Drew, what would you rather have, this or horrible skin?

17:25 Drew No, that's right. And by the way, you know, people would give somebody like Jill advice such as, well, it's your body, it's beautiful, live with it. No, you know what I'd say, you kind of dress it down. If you don't like the way people look, just do those ways to kind of take it easy.

17:39 Adam Put a barrel on. I miss barrel suspender humor.

17:43 Drew There will be a time when she... Remember that?

17:45 Adam It was funny.

17:46 Caller Oh, do I?

17:47 Drew Everybody was funny.

17:48 Caller You're in my wheelhouse now, buddy.

17:49 Adam So poor, you had to wear a barrel. Really?

17:52 Drew Suspenders.

17:52 Adam Some second-hand slacks would be...

17:55 Caller Like a burlap sack wouldn't do it.

17:56 Adam More expensive than a barrel?

17:58 Caller Burlap sack is just too revealing.

17:59 Adam How about a towel? You gotta wear a barrel? And there is a hole in that barrel, you know?

18:05 Drew That's what that's for.

18:06 Is that what it's for?

18:07 Caller Those are the days when you worked out by lifting big triangular iron wits.

18:12 Drew You don't see people bear all the time?

18:13 Adam No, just one Denver fan.

18:16 Caller The steamer door is down by the docks.

18:18 Drew Is there with the hobos with those sacks with the white spots on it? The red sacks with the white spots, you know, mistakes.

18:22 Adam The only advantage you're wearing a barrel is if you fall into a river that's going over some falls.

18:27 Drew Perfect.

18:28 Adam You'll be in solid shape. You just tuck yourself in like a turtle. And speaking of people that go over that Niagara Falls in the barrel.

18:35 Drew It's also out. What happened to that?

18:37 Adam It's not nearly as popular as it was back in the day. But back in the day, and this is one of those things where, you know, well, it's like, well, in the old days, the Indy 500, the cars only averaged 85 miles an hour, but they had canvas helmets. So it's sort of now they're 210 miles an hour, but they have a roll bar and space ages and that. The falls are the same as they ever were, but people used to really go over in a barrel. Now they go over in a space shuttle. Right. Right. You know what I mean?

19:03 Drew In a Gemini capsule.

19:04 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Right. They've made out of composite materials and, you know, fiber, honeycomb and Kevlar. You know, I'd do that and I'd get drunk and do that now. The barrel was the bitch. And by the way, could you think of anything more uncomfortable than being in a barrel and there's no viewing port. So you're in this barrel and you're upstream a mile and you get in this barrel and it's like, all you're doing is waiting until the ground falls out from underneath you. I mean, I would just, I would just, I would just crap myself. That would be my panning. He was saved by his own fecal matter. If not for the fecal matter.

19:42 Drew Yes.

19:43 Adam I mean, it's pitch black.

19:46 Caller You're just, you're just, you're preaching to the choir, man.

19:49 Adam And you're, if you thought about it, could you think of anything?

19:52 Drew No, no.

19:53 Caller And there's no, there's no, there's no, nothing to cushion your fall.

19:55 Drew It's, it's onto the rocks.

19:57 Adam But my whole thing would be like, if I'm going over Niagara Falls in a barrel, you roll me out four feet before the edge of the falls.

20:04 Drew Right.

20:04 Adam I don't want to go up stream a mile and just freak out. And by the way, decide five feet from the end.

20:10 I don't want to do it.

20:11 Bad idea.

20:12 Drew Tell us that we found out about people jumping off the bridges.

20:15 Adam Oh, this is horrible. And by the way, we, Drew, we discussed what we discussed. How dare you, we. They interviewed these people that, you know, thousands of people kill themselves from jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge almost every year. And it's probably into the tens of thousands since it was built in the late twenties or something like that. But anyway, three or four people have survived who've made the leap and actually survived. And they all say that the first thing they thought of when they leaped is, I wish I hadn't done this.

20:46 Drew Really?

20:47 Adam Which makes me think a high percentage of the thousands of people that did actually die had the same thought as they did their thing. And that's why it's important to not kill yourself, but to get really effed up and do it at your folks house.

21:00 Drew I see, yeah.

21:01 Adam You know what I mean? Send a message, get so jacked up that you don't even know what you're doing, and don't get into that jumping off stuff. You know what I mean? What is that, by the way? The people that kill themselves by jumping off a skyscraper. You don't think you might have some feelings on the... Do you want to go that way? So many good ways to go. Nice OD.

21:23 Caller Yeah, I can't even handle the Pirates of the Caribbean drop Disneyland.

21:28 Adam Yeah, you go in that flume, that log jammer, you vomit. Yeah.

21:32 Drew I went to Magic Mountain this weekend.

21:34 Adam Nobody cares, Drew.

21:35 Drew No, no, but listen. I know that. I know that. But at my age, you get headaches. Oh, you can't do that. It's like, huh, huh, huh.

21:42 Caller Good for you for even doing it. I can't go near those things.

21:45 Drew My kids, they go to this stuff like, that's going again. I'm like, I know.

21:48 Adam What did you do?

21:48 Caller I can't go in there.

21:49 Adam Which ones you do?

21:50 Drew I didn't do the huge ones. Then they're taking the stuff where they pull you up on a pulley and let you drop you and that stuff.

21:56 Caller What is fun about that? What is fun about that? There's nothing, it's like pushing somebody off something.

22:02 Drew Here's their dad going, guys, there's so much faith in technology. Don't you even consider these things might break or something might happen? Yeah, yeah.

22:09 Adam Well, here's the thing. Let me say this, Drew. I'm no neurologist, but they say stress kills, right? Now, there's a very small part of your brain that realized you paid admission to get into this park, and then there's the rest of your body, every other fiber in your body, that just thinks your car is rolling over an embankment or something. I mean, your body goes into death, shock, freeze mode.

22:31 Drew There is this strange thing that humans have, which is sort of an impulse to play with all that. There's a euphoria associated with it.

22:38 Adam Do you think if we hook you up to functional MRI, your brain activity on free fall would be any different than the people jumping off, killing themselves off the San Francisco Gold Gate Bridge?

22:48 Drew But remember, what they go from when they jump off, they go from profoundly depressed to sort of escalated. Their boot goes up and they think, why did I do this? And that's in fact, that's exactly what people are playing with. It causes a euphoria.

22:59 Adam I'm just saying if stress, you know, having a tough day at work and shave a day off your life, this could take years off.

23:04 Drew Different kinds of stress.

23:05 Caller I guess the advice would be try it with a net first.

23:08 Adam You mean jumping off the bridge net?

23:09 Caller Yeah, see how it's trying to synthesize that.

23:11 Adam Fungi. Yeah, do it off something small, like a kitchen chair. See what happens. Work your way up to the table.

23:17 Drew Oh my God.

23:17 Adam Yeah, I don't like that free fall thing. And the last time I did that free fall thing over at Magic Mountain, where they slide you out.

23:23 Drew I like that.

23:24 Adam Yeah, I was having a great time until on the way down, the thing jammed and stopped.

23:29 Drew That's how it works.

23:30 Adam No, no, but mine stopped and got stuck there, had a malfunction. And as I looked back over my head, I could see the next one perched up there. And they were like, all right, we've stopped the ride. And I thought, I'm going to get crushed by the next. Because my car, it was good 10 minutes sitting up there waiting for them to reboot the thing. I could think of that things is going to, so it was a whole kind of real there. That's the real amusement park where you get out to the end.

23:58 Caller We have a mouth.

24:02 Drew The reality show.

24:04 Adam That would scare the real shit out of everybody. Alright, Seth MacFarlane is here from The Family Guy, World's Greatest Animated. Nay, The World's Greatest TV Show. Nay, World's Greatest Foreign Entertainment Ever.

24:14 Caller God bless you.

24:15 Adam We'll take a quick break.

24:21 We'll be right back after this.

24:25 Drew Loveline is brought to you by TNT. 40 games in 40 nights.

24:29 Caller Watch the NBA playoffs on TNT.

24:55 Adam It's Love Line, man. That's Dr. Drew. Seth MacFarlane is in tonight. Dear, dear friend, Seth MacFarlane. Yeah, doing all the voices. We need Stewie Draws.

25:07 Caller We can get those for you.

25:11 Adam So versatile. So versatile. Seth is doing Peter, doing Stewie, doing Brian, doing... I could see maybe Brian and maybe Stewie, maybe Brian and Peter, but going from Brian... Sorry, going from Peter to Stewie.

25:29 Drew I'm telling you, and the musical part, the singing of all that stuff, that is not...

25:34 Adam Well, it's an interesting...

25:35 Drew That is the part that's impressive.

25:37 Adam It's an interesting thing.

25:38 Caller Oh, this is why I come here.

25:38 Adam I was thinking about Matt and Trey doing a lot of singing and sort of theatrical stuff later on with South Park and other animated shows go in that direction. I wonder if it's the same mind that thinks up, that is attracted to animated stuff and that same sort of creative part of your brain that you use that can work both the musical and the animated.

26:03 Caller Well, it's also one of the few mediums that people will accept big production numbers in anymore. I mean, it's... In movies, it's kind of hit and miss. On television, it's... You know, rarely works, but I mean... You know, cartoons, it's still far enough a move from reality that people will go for it.

26:21 Drew So you won't tell me you're a big orchestras anymore? Whatever.

26:24 Caller There's only like a handful of shows that... There's only like five or six shows that use a live orchestra. One of them being Family Guy, but it's... I mean, you have to have that to do that.

26:34 Drew Which reminds us, there's a Family Guy CD coming out.

26:37 Caller Oh, that's right. Oh, yeah. In a couple of days. Family Guy Live in Vegas.

26:42 Drew We're going to play something off that. Hopefully, if we remembered it. We'll see if we stop talking during the break.

26:46 Adam I would send you out to your car. Is... Now, is that song that we've heard on previous Family Guy episodes or new songs?

26:53 Caller It's not. It's mostly... It's 95% new songs. There's an extended three-minute version of the Family Guy theme.

27:01 Drew How the hell did he do that while he was doing 35 new episodes?

27:04 Caller Well, most of it... It took us about a year to do. Most of it was done before we started work again. And the music is by Mr. Walter Murphy, who, you know, from the 5th of Beethoven, was also an orchestrator for Doc Severinsen at one time. And just put together this amazing, you know, 55-piece orchestra. And it's... You know, it's fart jokes set to a lush musical backdrop.

27:30 Adam So there's...

27:31 Drew Well, we describe this show in the same way. Yeah. Yeah.

27:35 Caller Yeah.

27:35 Drew Strangely enough.

27:36 Adam Is... Now, are there any covers of any Dean Martin or Sinatra or anything like that?

27:42 Caller There's a couple of... There's a couple of old Z Times-y type covers that we've kind of spruced up, you know, hopefully added some stuff that will be... You know, it's a combination of edgy stuff and old-fashioned stuff.

27:56 Adam Well, Seth has one in his car, which is actually an armored car, which he now drives. Actually, they back it up and they drop money off at his house. Every day, they back the Brinks truck up. Never comes in the driveway forward. Even in a circular driveway, they'll back up the Brinks truck. I know.

28:12 Drew It has so much power that it doesn't even go beep, beep.

28:14 Adam Now he had that eliminated. Yeah, it makes a chaching, chaching, chaching. That'd be an awesome sound. Like, you know what they ought to do? Cars that back up, like the backup beep thing, instead of just being annoying, beep, beep. They ought to all have their own sound. Like armored trucks should have the chaching, chaching, chaching.

28:32 Drew Or make them like voice rings.

28:34 Adam A garbage truck could have like scat man crothers. There you go. Just rhyming or singing. Then I would go for it, and you would know what size and what type of truck was coming at you. You'd know the difference between an ice cream truck backing up and a garbage truck backing up, yeah? Perfect. The good humor bell would be.

28:52 Caller You're a solution guy. You're an answers man.

28:55 Adam Oh, oh. The only difference is I'm serious. Sam?

29:02 Yeah.

29:03 Adam You're 18.

29:05 Caller 18, that's right.

29:06 Adam What's up?

29:07 Caller First of all, I just want to say Adam, Drew, you guys rock, Seth, big fan of the show.

29:12 Caller Thank you.

29:12 Caller And also Seth, I was at the Stewie Soundalike contest. I was the guy who was number nine and not number four.

29:19 Drew Oh, boy.

29:21 Caller Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You're the guy who they told had it and then they made the correction and said, no, I'm sorry, we made a mistake. It was this other guy.

29:28 Caller Oh, gross.

29:28 Caller Was that you? Oh yeah, that was nasty. My apologies.

29:32 Adam Wow.

29:32 Caller Someone sent me the sign script for North by North Cullhough, signed by everyone there. So that kind of.

29:39 Caller Oh, well, it's good to know that that's out there floating around a week before air.

29:45 Adam Sam, can you do some Mediocre Stewie for us?

29:48 Caller I think Mediocre best describes it. Yeah, apparently I wasn't even good enough for third place. Um, I'll do what I did at the contest.

29:57 Caller Yeah.

29:58 Caller Yeah.

29:58 Caller Look, you know what? It's so easy to take a shot at Jay Leno. Look, the fact of the matter is, man is up every night with new material and is charming.

30:06 You know what? That's so much bull. I still do not sound like that at all, at all. That's, that's, that's David Hyde Pierce you're doing.

30:15 Adam Yeah, Drew, that was a solid Stewie. You saw it.

30:20 Caller That's, that's, uh, that's pretty damn good.

30:22 Adam Wow. That is awesome, Drew. You really are a fan. I'm telling you.

30:26 Drew I don't practice in front of the mirror all the time.

30:29 Caller It's extraordinary.

30:30 Drew You should hear my Peter.

30:32 Adam Too, too good, Peter?

30:32 Drew Here it goes.

30:33 Adam You know I, you know I do, Adam.

30:35 Drew Wow.

30:35 Caller Oh, my God.

30:36 Drew Wow. Crazy.

30:38 Caller That's unbelievable.

30:39 Adam You know, that was kind of mediocre, actually. Yeah. No, that was solid, Drew.

30:44 Drew It was mediocre.

30:45 Adam Wow. Look at a minor bird. What happened to minor birds, too? They used to minor birds used to be around and they're not really round anymore.

30:53 Caller I think what we got here is a sub dermal hematoma. Wow. Now that is and now you work in the medical jargon. That's amazing.

30:59 Adam Wow. Awesome, Drew. Sub dermal. Yeah. Yeah. Remember minor birds?

31:05 Caller Yeah, I do.

31:05 Adam What happened? I know. They're not around, are they?

31:08 Drew They're all over Hawaii.

31:09 Caller Everyone used to have minor birds.

31:10 Adam People used to have minor birds.

31:11 Drew They talk.

31:11 Caller They talk and they talk better than the parrots.

31:13 Drew Yeah. Way better.

31:14 Adam Yeah.

31:15 Caller They could have been like where the parrots just repeat what they hear. The minor birds actually think stuff up.

31:19 Adam Minor birds, let me say this about minor birds. Gone the way the dodo. Absolutely.

31:24 Caller Yeah.

31:25 Adam And Souffle Humor.

31:27 Caller Gone.

31:28 Caller Minor birds, who cares?

31:30 Adam We're having a good time.

31:31 Caller Souffle Humor and those bicycles with the big giant front wheels.

31:34 Drew That's right.

31:35 Caller God's name happened to us.

31:36 Adam Wow.

31:37 Drew Sam.

31:37 Adam Sam.

31:38 Caller Yeah.

31:38 Drew What was your question?

31:39 Caller My question was about the origin of Peter and Brian because I noticed that they sound very similar to Larry and Steve who were your, I don't know if that was your first. Yeah. But they resemble them a lot. I was wondering if that's where they pretty much came from.

31:55 Caller Yeah. Pretty much exactly. Larry and Steve was a short that I did when I was working at Hanna-Barbera. And yeah, Peter and Brian are, I mean, if you listen to the voices, they're almost exactly the same. They pretty much are directly evolved from those two characters.

32:10 Drew Yeah.

32:11 Adam What did you do at Hanna-Barbera?

32:12 Drew See, Adam has a thing about Hanna-Barbera. Has he ever talked to you about that?

32:15 Adam Well, they cranked out a lot of cramp in the 70s and 60s, but piles, miles and piles.

32:21 Caller Fonz and the Happy Days Gang? Was that crap? You remember that show?

32:23 Adam Well, no, that was good.

32:27 Caller Fonzie and I think it was their actual voices. It was Henry Winkler and Ron Howard and Pottsie and Donnie Most. And the premise was that it was the Happy Days Gang, but they had somehow come into possession of a time machine. And they would travel to different time periods each week, never mind the fact they're already in the 50s.

32:47 Adam Right, yeah, they're already in a different time period.

32:49 Drew It cuts up some slack. They had the wisdom to hire this guy.

32:51 Adam That's true. They probably espanned him, too.

32:54 Drew That's true.

32:54 Caller Laverne and Shirley in the Army was another one.

32:57 Adam What about, who did the Brady Bunch?

33:01 Caller The cartoon?

33:02 Adam Yeah.

33:03 Caller What kind of, what was that? Was that the?

33:06 Adam Oh, it was a classic. And they had a magpie named Merlin who flew via helicopter on some feather on top of his head inexplicably. And then we want to talk about inexplicable. They had a panda bear that played the guitar. That just sort of did two of them. That just danced around. It's like, how much peyote do you have to do before you create a show? I mean, this was, there's one thing, it's one thing to be high and create a show. It's another thing just to be like, you know, American Indian. I mean, you're like Jim Morrison in the desert.

33:34 Caller Right.

33:35 Adam Remember panda bears? What was, it's like, it's not like there's a Brady Bunch episode that had a panda bear or a magpie in it.

33:41 Caller Remember Rubik the Amazing Cube?

33:43 Remember that one?

33:44 Caller How do we make a cartoon, a Saturday morning cartoon out of this? They said to themselves. And the premise was that it's three Hispanic kids who find a Rubik's Cube. And whenever they get the colors on all the right sides, which they do astonishingly fast.

33:59 Adam They get to be white.

34:00 Caller Yeah.

34:02 Adam I saw that. I was offended.

34:04 Caller A little blue face would appear on the cube and help them solve crimes.

34:07 Adam Sure.

34:08 Caller That's all about solving crimes. What else would it be?

34:10 Adam Yeah. And here's my little thing. So much of that stuff was just horrible junk. Like I don't know who did Hong Kong Fooey and I don't know.

34:17 Caller That was Hanna Barbera.

34:18 Drew Oh, he knows that.

34:19 Adam Grape Ape.

34:20 Caller That was Hanna Barbera.

34:21 Adam Wally Gator. Great theme songs, but that's where it all ended. And then there's this horrible, I mean, just a hair bear bunch. It would just come up with stuff that rhymed. Grape Ape? What the hell is that?

34:32 Drew Lippie the Lion and Party Har Har?

34:34 Adam Those old guys just have to have sacks and sacks of money from cranking out just like an endless Duke Law.

34:42 Caller Punk and Puss and Mush Mouth.

34:43 Adam Mush Mouth. Mush Mouth. Yeah, he was like Hillbilly Mice.

34:48 Drew I forgot about that one.

34:49 Adam A little mileage out of those Mises, you know what I mean?

34:52 Drew Pixie and Dixie.

34:53 Caller Pixie and Dixie.

34:55 Adam Such, it's all we had. Listen, kids, we didn't have cable or satellite. We were forced to watch junk and just have our minds, my brain just dried up like a sponge just left in the sun.

35:06 Caller There's an old film that we have at the office that came from when I was working at Hanna-Barbera and it was a promotional film that they did for the premiere of Magilla Guerrilla in the 60s and they basically staged the creation process of the show with Hanna and Barbera.

35:21 Drew It was all like the original pitch?

35:23 Caller Yeah, yeah, but it was all pre-written and they're staring at a picture of Magilla on the wall just going, where the heck is he supposed to live? You tell us, Magilla, you tell us where you're supposed to live. And one of them goes, hey, wait a second, fellas, how about a pet store? And it's just this. Oh, it's brilliant.

35:39 Adam Oh, there was Wheely and Chopper Bunch or whatever that. There's so much junk, Drew. No wonder I'm an idiot.

35:46 Drew Penelope Pitstop.

35:47 Adam That's what happened to me. That's what happened to you.

35:50 Caller The Funky Phantom?

35:51 Adam Yeah.

35:52 Caller Because the kids love a Revolutionary War era ghost.

35:56 Adam Yeah, that's what it was. It was a see-through minute, man.

36:00 It was awesome.

36:02 Adam All right. I feel high talking about this.

36:06 Drew Yeah, it feels weird, doesn't it?

36:07 Adam All right. We should... What do we got? Oh, threesome. Brandon did a threesome with his wife. Brandon?

36:13 Yeah.

36:14 Adam In 39?

36:15 29.

36:16 Adam Oh, yeah. Well, hold on a second. What did you do at Hanna-Barbera, by the way?

36:20 Caller Me? Yeah. I did a short, Larry and Steve, and then I wrote, most of my time I spent writing for Johnny Bravo.

36:29 Drew Ooh, Johnny Bravo.

36:30 Caller All right.

36:30 Adam Well, at least that's the way she got on.

36:32 Caller I sort of cut my teeth there.

36:33 Adam All right. Well, Brandon.

36:36 Yes, sir.

36:37 Adam All right. So you're 29.

36:39 Caller Yeah.

36:40 Adam And you did a threesome with your wife?

36:43 Caller Yeah, that's correct. My wife and one of my best friends.

36:48 Caller Are you calling from the space shuttle?

36:50 Caller Yeah. No, I'm actually driving a tractor trailer. Please forgive me.

36:54 Adam All right.

36:55 Caller Shocking. At this hour.

36:58 Adam So you had a threesome with your wife, who's your best friend, which and your best friend. Yeah. Oh, and your best friend.

37:04 Drew Yes, that was the threesome. Oh, in what world were you high when you thought this was a good idea? Or what happened?

37:10 Adam He was effed up, right?

37:12 Caller We've been known to do that on occasion. But that particular night, we were we were all drinking. But we all so really planned to do that.

37:23 Caller Right.

37:24 Drew And whose idea was it originally?

37:27 Caller It was my idea originally, I'd have to say.

37:29 Adam And your best friend had sex with your wife?

37:33 Caller Yes, sir.

37:34 Drew Oh, my God.

37:35 Adam And what were you doing? Just sort of.

37:38 Caller You were there like, well, you know, sometimes I watched, sometimes we're all taking part. It was an idea we all sat around and talked about before.

37:51 Adam Well, here's a couple of things.

37:52 Drew First off, horrible idea.

37:53 Adam It's important that your best friend have a smaller penis in you because this goes from a disaster to the Hindenburg, you know.

37:59 Caller Amazing things about it. It wound up working out in my favor. I was kind of worried about that at first, but...

38:07 Drew So your relationship with your wife is just in trouble now. It's doomed. What's going on?

38:12 Caller What's that?

38:13 Adam Hold on a second.

38:14 Caller What they call the Devil's Threesome, isn't it?

38:15 Two men and a woman?

38:17 Adam Driving a tractor trailer, best friend, threesome.

38:21 Drew Six kids. Twenty-nine.

38:22 Adam No, no, I'm going Jew.

38:24 Drew Oh, yeah, yeah. Or he could be Korean.

38:26 Adam Oh, yes. Asian or Jew? It's got to be an Asian or a Jew. Maybe an Asian Jew. Brandon? Yes, sir. Asian or Jew?

38:34 Caller Neither.

38:35 Adam I don't believe it.

38:36 Caller I was so ready for a Sherlock Holmes moment.

38:38 Adam I don't believe it.

38:39 Drew Are you a Mormon?

38:41 Caller No, not a Mormon.

38:42 Adam No, we're kidding. This is, this is super white trash stuff. There's not a Jew or an Asian that would ever participate in this nonsense. They're too good, these people.

38:54 Caller We did own this trailer, but we are in genuine vital siding now.

38:58 Adam All right. Put some siding on. So what do you want?

39:01 Drew What's the question?

39:02 Caller I just kind of want to like, me and my wife, we have a really great time with it and we laugh and joke around about it and a really, really good relationship. And actually, I'm kind of like Drew. I don't even watch sports or anything like that anymore. I just like to get home and spend time with her. And we just hang out. We both have things in our past. She's had some physical abuse and I had some things go on as well when I was younger. But we consider ourselves slightly screwed up. But it's alright.

39:33 Adam Alright. Well, listen, do you have any kids?

39:37 Caller You know, and this is going to be negative for you. But yes, we have one child.

39:42 Caller Alright.

39:44 Caller I didn't have the surgery to get myself fixed. So I don't.

39:48 Adam Alright, good.

39:49 Drew Well, what's your question? Let's try to focus in on the question. What's the question here?

39:54 Caller The question was, basically, can two people be just slightly screwed up, but kind of be a match for each other?

40:00 Adam Like in a way that yes, yes.

40:03 Drew But here's the deal, Brandon, but true.

40:04 Adam You're a strong believer in that.

40:06 Drew Yes. Well, no, I believe that two screwed up people can work things out.

40:09 Adam No, you believe it can be an vital part of a relationship.

40:14 Drew No, of course. It's a source of passion sometimes, is that the stuff from your past. But the fact, though, is you're using drugs, you're using alcohol, you're engaging in threesomes. No relationship survives that.

40:24 Adam How do you know they're using drugs and alcohol?

40:26 Drew I just smell it. I ask them. I ask them.

40:29 Adam Brandon, you guys doing any speed or anything like that?

40:34 Drew Are we losing?

40:35 Caller No.

40:36 Adam Maybe.

40:37 Drew The fact is, this is an alcoholic thing, all this stuff. He's doing a bunch of stuff. Maybe not right this minute, maybe not all the time, but this is part of that whole process. And all the chaotic choices they're making will bring them down.

40:49 Adam So once in a while, somebody calls a show and tries to pass off a behavior that we know no one ever gets away with and claims to be getting away with it. We don't believe it.

40:59 Caller Is there a lot of plowing to be done at this hour?

41:02 Drew Tragedy.

41:03 Adam Yeah, I know.

41:03 Caller Is this a big farming hour, 10.45 at night?

41:06 Adam He's a long haul. No, you know, he's just driving 18 wheeler.

41:08 Drew 18 wheeler.

41:09 Adam Yeah.

41:10 Caller Oh, truck driver. Oh, see, now there's the disconnect.

41:13 Adam I don't know why they put a tractor in that part. I guess, but that's a good point.

41:20 Caller It's confusing. It's just.

41:21 Adam Yeah, yeah, Seth. That wasn't you, buddy. Keep that confidence level high. We need you. We need to create. But keep the eye of the nerd.

41:29 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

41:29 Drew Before you go to break, I got to read something.

41:31 Adam Go ahead.

41:31 Drew Speaking of the eye of the nerd, Loveline is brought to you tonight by TNT. 40 games and 40 nights. Watch the NBA playoffs on TNT. All right.

41:38 Adam Now, Drew, I want you to do it. Peter. Do it, Drew. One more time.

41:45 Loveline brought to you tonight by TNT.

41:47 Adam 40 games and 40 nights.

41:48 Caller Watch the NBA playoffs on TNT.

41:53 Adam Wow. Wow.

41:54 Caller That's extraordinary. True.

41:55 Drew Sounds good. Yeah.

41:57 Adam All right. Maybe when we come back, you'll read it. It's just Stewie. And we'll take a quick break. Oh, Seth's going to run out to get the song. What I would guess would be a now Hummer with a lift kit on it. Brinkstruck. Brinkstruck. And it's probably got the 24s on there. It's probably got the spinners. He's going to go out there. He's going to look for that CD and see if we can't do a little a little groundbreaking song from the Family Guy CD tonight. All that after this.

42:28 Caller Hello. Loveline is brought to you by TNT.

42:36 Drew 40 games in 40 nights.

42:37 Caller Watch the NBA Playoffs on TNT.

42:47 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Alex Borstein in here tomorrow night from The Family Guy. Dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, old friend, as well as her husband, who's a old, old friend of mine. Hope she toes him in. And then Travis Barker and Shannon Mokler is going to be in here on Tuesday from Meet the Barkers. You been watching, Drew? No. Travis has got himself a few more tats. Oh, really? And a couple more piercings. Where? Where?

43:19 Drew He was up there, he shaved his head, put a scalp?

43:22 Adam No, he has to roll his eyes back in his head.

43:24 Drew Oh, okay, okay.

43:24 Adam And you can read. You can read tilt.

43:28 Drew Nice.

43:28 Adam What happened to tilt humor? Do you remember the tilt? Guy got punched in the face, be tilt on his eyes. Yeah, you kids don't know from tilt humor. You don't know from souffle humor and minor bird humor. No minor. Remember the minor bird would talk or the parrot would talk about what the person was calling, the other person would give the person up?

43:49 Caller Yeah, it was about my parents' generation. Everybody had minor birds and they would teach them to swear.

43:54 Adam Yeah, that was cool.

43:54 Caller Teach some minor birds to swear.

43:56 Adam Super edgy. Yeah. Now they teach them to kill and F. Yeah. All right. Drew, minor birds in Hawaii, you say?

44:04 Drew I think that's where they are still indigenous.

44:07 Adam You gotta get over there. Let's talk to Megan. Did I mention that Seth MacFarlane was here tonight from the Family Guy? Sunday night, starting one week from tonight, nine o'clock on Fox. Oh, finally.

44:19 Drew Oh, God.

44:19 Adam That hymen has been waiting to burst for years now.

44:23 Drew It is.

44:24 Adam It's gonna be an explosion. Wow. Awesome. Megan?

44:29 Caller Yeah.

44:30 Drew What's the question?

44:31 Adam What's up?

44:32 Caller Hi. I just heard you talking about a guy who had a threesome with his wife and his best friend. Right. And I was actually like thinking of asking my boyfriend to do that with him and his best friend. And I was wondering why, Drew, you thought it was such a bad idea.

44:49 Drew Well, relationships hardly ever survive that. The kinds of feelings and the kind of... These are very intimate, very intense situations and people develop feelings and resentments and jealousies and attachments that they never anticipate. Now, if you're just casually with this guy and you want to try something out, whatever. But if it's somebody you really care about and you're thinking of having a threesome, it means you want to destroy this relationship for some reason or you need chaos in order to feel comfortable in a relationship.

45:14 Adam How about a threesome with you, a female friend of yours and your boyfriend? Would you go for that?

45:20 Caller No, that doesn't sound exciting to me.

45:23 Caller Well, at least that sounds a lot better.

45:24 Adam Yeah.

45:25 Caller No, I don't know. I would feel way too jealous. I couldn't handle another girl. But I've been in very intimate situations with both of them. Not sexual situations, but I feel really comfortable with both of those guys. And I feel like I could show that place.

45:42 Adam Two dudes and a chick is called the Beelzebubs Trio.

45:46 Drew Beelzebubs Triangle.

45:47 Adam Triangle. The Devil's Triangle. What happened to the Devil's Triangle, too? Compasses spinning out of control.

45:54 Caller You're a man out of time.

45:55 Adam A line of birds.

45:57 Drew Megan, you gotta think about how your jealousies are. Men are about 10 times more territorial naturally.

46:04 They feel more threatened.

46:05 Drew Oh, I understand he's not, or he's gay, and he's looking for a reason to have a relationship with another male.

46:11 Caller No, he doesn't even know about this.

46:12 Adam Gays are territorial, too. It's just their territory is the anus. That's where they plant the flag, literally plant the flag in the name of France.

46:21 Drew A gay man would not want to have a threesome with another man.

46:23 Adam Where would people use to plant flags and say the name of? That's gone, too.

46:27 Drew It's all gone.

46:28 Adam We got nothing out of it.

46:29 Caller We went as far as the moon and we stopped.

46:31 Drew But Megan, these are unhealthy impulses. If you want to do it, you do whatever you want. We don't care, but we know how destructive these things are for people. If you insist upon it, that means you come from chaos and need chaos.

46:44 Caller So you don't think even if I think I can handle it, I can't handle it?

46:47 Adam You come from chaos.

46:49 Caller That's true.

46:50 Drew You do. So you need chaos. You need it.

46:52 Adam You're getting a little too intimate. It's getting a little too close.

46:54 Drew You're going to throw up some heavy stuff.

46:55 Adam Break it up. Yeah. But in any way, you'll cheat and then tell them you cheated.

46:59 Drew Yeah, that's the other way. That's the other way you'll do it, Megan.

47:01 Adam All right. Either way, don't get pregnant.

47:03 Drew Please. Here we go.

47:05 Adam Get a little therapy for past chaos. Yes?

47:07 Caller I'm in therapy, yes.

47:08 Drew Great. Talk to your therapist about these choices. You'll find they'll have a similar reaction.

47:12 Caller All right.

47:13 Adam Or she can get a ball.

47:13 Drew Therapy is for the losers.

47:15 Adam Audrey, please.

47:16 Drew Right.

47:17 Adam We're going to take ourselves a quick break. Seth MacFarlane, by the way, you're telling Anderson not to put that drop in.

47:23 Drew It's coming 50 times now.

47:24 Adam Oh, 50. That's if he's in a good mood. I'd say more like 150.

47:28 Drew Well, if you had said it. Oh, come on.

47:31 Adam It would have wired into my brain. Seth MacFarlane is here from the Fantastic Family. I will take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

47:39 Drew Therapy is for the losers.

48:19 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. True. Phone number 1-800-ELE-VE-191. Seth MacFarlane is here tonight.

48:30 Caller Oh, thank you.

48:31 Adam Seth finally being recognized as a genius. He's been claiming he's been for all these years.

48:37 Drew You've been claiming he's been, buddy.

48:38 Adam Yes, that's right. He did some crank anchors. He was awesome at that.

48:46 Caller It was your writers, I'm telling you.

48:48 Adam No, no, they're idiots. They're all Mercy hires. It had to be you. Alex Borstein is going to be here tomorrow night. You know her from Mad TV, and you also know her from The Family Guy. And I also know her from Yelling Me, My Own Apartment Kitchen, about 15 years ago.

49:06 Drew What?

49:06 Adam Who is this bitch?

49:07 Drew What did she yell you by?

49:08 Adam I don't know, but I can't remember what it was. I've known Alex for 13 or 14 years.

49:14 Drew Is she screaming at you?

49:15 Adam No, I knew she was troubled before that, but then she started yelling at me in my kitchen.

49:18 Drew I don't remember what that was.

49:20 Adam Yeah, she seems nice now, but something happened. Actually, she's one of these people that was smart. You know, the people you hear about, oh, they used to be so humble, and then they got a little juice, and then fame got hold of them and turned them. No, she was bitchy before she was famous. Now she's nice. See, the exact opposite of me, Drew.

49:36 Drew It's good, it's good.

49:37 Adam Yeah.

49:37 Drew Exact opposite.

49:38 Adam Smart, because you don't hear this, you know, that's actually a nice story.

49:42 Caller It's the fire that drives her immense talent.

49:44 Adam That's right. That's just fiery. Yeah.

49:46 Drew Let's proceed with our world premiere.

49:48 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah, we have a song or two to play from the Family Guy CD, which is coming out on Tuesday.

49:56 Caller Coming out on Tuesday. Yeah, this is, I don't even know if I'm supposed to be playing this, but what the hell, it's on, it's my ass. Yeah.

50:03 Drew And it's distributed throughout the country.

50:05 Caller Throughout the country.

50:06 Drew Can you get it online anywhere?

50:07 Caller I think you can probably order it on Amazon or get it at your local record store. There is a clean version and a not-so-clean version.

50:15 Is this the clean version?

50:16 Caller This is, well, this number is kind of the same for both.

50:19 Drew He's picked the clean song.

50:20 Caller This is our extended version of the Family Guy theme.

50:24 Adam So, we ready?

50:25 Caller Sure.

50:25 Adam You ready, Chris? All right, World Premiere Family Guy theme. Here we go.

51:37 Caller I'm sorry, I know this doesn't rhyme, but what the hell were you Wachowski Brothers thinking?

53:57 Adam Yeah, world premiere here on Loveline, family guy.

54:01 Drew I have a million questions. Do you help with the orchestration, that?

54:04 Caller No, no, no, that is all Mr. Walter Murphy.

54:08 Drew You write the lyrics?

54:09 Caller Yeah.

54:09 Drew And the melodies are spelled out by these guys, the orchestrators?

54:13 Caller Well, we've done it both ways. I mean, there are three ways to do it. I give him a set of lyrics, and he'll write a melody. He'll give me a melody, and I write lyrics, or the other way is we come up with a title.

54:24 Drew Is doing something just the most exciting thing in the League of Republishers?

54:27 Caller There's really nothing, I mean, even doing the show each week, there's really nothing quite as exciting as going in there every week and watching that band play the score for the show. It's pretty spectacular.

54:38 Adam Wow. You should tape it and just use the same one the next week. Actually have a live orchestra. This goes in every week.

54:45 Drew It's live.

54:46 Adam Wow. I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. Wow. Even the animation not done in advance.

54:51 Drew No. Awesome.

54:54 Adam Awesome.

54:54 Drew The first time I heard Stewie said, Laugh and cry, I thought he said, F and cry.

54:58 Caller That's been a point of contention for many years.

55:00 Drew Yeah.

55:01 Adam It is. I thought the same. And I came around.

55:05 Drew Add to the intrigue.

55:06 Caller The censor has actually made us re-record that for the third season to be clearer because so many people thought it was F and cry. And they said, this is ridiculous. Just go back in, make it sound clearer.

55:15 Drew Well, just go back and make it F and cry.

55:17 Caller Yeah, that would be the.

55:20 Adam It is. I was listening when it got to that point in this song. And it is crystal clear in this version of it. Seth MacFarlane here from the Family Guy. Big premiere on Tuesday coming up. Oh, I'm sorry, the CD is coming out this Tuesday. And then the Family Guy premiere will be on Sunday on Fox, of course. All right. That's a good question. And by the way, do you know, Seth and Seth's people were nice enough to send me a death, which is the character I play on the show, and my dog, which I guess is Jimmy. That's right. And a bottle of beer figurine. It's the action figure. Wow. The death action figure.

56:01 Caller There were two versions of that, actually. There's one with his hood off, too.

56:04 Caller With a skull.

56:05 Caller More limited edition.

56:06 Adam Oh, there is.

56:06 Caller Yeah, yeah, yeah.

56:07 Adam I have to get that on eBay. Signed 28 death pictures in a row as I was walking in.

56:14 Caller Is that right?

56:15 Adam Yeah, I said we'll see that on eBay. And the guy, you guys sort of cryptically said, not there, but it's sort of a, I'm selling them a nerd at a comic store in Pasadena. I'm not going to do it.

56:26 Caller That's always, it's always sketchy when they say, yeah, this is, these are from my family. And they hand you ten pictures of exactly the same picture. You're supposed to just sign them.

56:34 Adam And don't, and I'm so appreciative that you don't actually have to put someone's name before you sign your thing. That's like, all right, let's just do this. I'll buy it back from you later on. Gina, Gina, you're 25.

56:46 Caller Hi.

56:47 Adam What's up?

56:48 Caller I just had a question for Seth. I'm such a big fan that the call screener told me my original question was too esoteric.

56:56 Caller Well, esoteric, but yeah.

56:57 Adam Right. God bless you for writing it down.

57:02 Caller I'm sorry. So my backup question is, you guys have always been really great at putting celebrity guests on like Adam Corolla and Will Ferrell and stuff.

57:11 Adam Yeah.

57:11 Caller What's coming up for season four?

57:14 Caller Gosh, season four. Well, of course, Adam will be back and Dr. Drew is also going to be on. Drew Barrymore is going to be on Robert Downey Jr., James Woods.

57:27 Adam Wow. Now you must have had, obviously this is a show that is sort of a, they have the comedian's comedian. This is a show business guy's show.

57:37 Drew Right.

57:38 Adam Must be a lot of hip people that are trying to get on. There must be a little pressure. I don't know if you want to embarrass anybody, but there's probably some people you really didn't want to work with. Or maybe to work with you.

57:47 Drew Or maybe an easier question.

57:48 Adam One of them may be in this room.

57:49 Drew I am in the room. What are you talking about? But I do a great story. But the other question is, are the people that turned you down? So maybe is your way of answering that? Yeah.

57:59 There have been-

58:01 Adam They turned you down the first time around.

58:02 Caller Yeah. William Shatner at one point turned us down. He did not want to come do the show, so we just did an impersonation.

58:10 Adam But that-

58:10 Drew I remember that one. That was a good one.

58:12 Adam That was from, oh, that's from first or second season or something like that.

58:16 Caller Yeah.

58:16 Adam By the way, getting turned down by Shatner is like getting turned down by a fat chick at a prom.

58:21 Drew Yeah, you know, but they took a good shot at it.

58:23 Caller Gary Coleman turned us down this year. We were turned down by Gary Coleman.

58:27 Drew Nice.

58:28 Adam Now he's doing those money line like commercials where you have to. All right. Very sad. But who else turned you down? Anyone else good?

58:36 Caller Oh, boy, let me.

58:37 Adam Now, did they turn you down because they were they read the script and they're making fun of themselves or?

58:43 Caller Well, sometimes a lot of people get get, you know, they'll come on, but they want to play a character that don't want to play themselves. But, you know, it's it's you just you never know. You never know who's who's going to say yes. And we had Frank Sinatra Jr. come on and do the show, which was probably the biggest thrill in the world for me. Right.

59:03 Adam Not for any of the audience.

59:04 Drew Did he sing?

59:05 Adam He loved it.

59:06 Caller He did. Yeah. He sings with it's his Rat Pack episode. He does.

59:10 Adam Yeah.

59:10 Caller He sings beautifully. He sang sings a song with Brian and Stewie. And it was yeah, it was it was pretty much. I'm like, boy, it doesn't get much better than this.

59:19 Drew Yeah.

59:20 Adam And and Adam West will be back.

59:22 Caller Adam West will be back. Yeah. A couple of big a couple of big Adam West, Adam West, Mayor West, Bands, Gay Marriage from the town of Cohog.

59:31 Drew Wow. Yes.

59:33 Adam Awesome. So, Gina.

59:36 Caller Yes.

59:36 Adam Well, I hope that helped to answer your question.

59:39 Caller Thank you so much.

59:41 Adam All right. Well, we'll see you on Sunday. Not actually see you, but if we could, you'd be watching the show. That's basically what I'm saying. You know what I'm saying?

59:50 Drew What's the first episode?

59:52 Caller First episode is sort of a Peter Loewis second honeymoon adventure. It's based on kind of roughly based on North by Northwest, the Hitchcock movie, which you don't have to have seen to enjoy it, but there's some, you know, a scene at Mount Rushmore at the end. And we used all the old Bernard Herman score sheets for the... That's awesome. But it's a big second honeymoon adventure and it hopefully comes back with a pretty big splash. It's a pretty elaborate episode.

1:00:24 Adam Do you have your pick of the litter or your pick of part of the litter in terms of which one you show first? I mean, obviously you want to come out with a great episode, but I know from doing shows sometimes you realize this one's a five and this one's a nine.

1:00:39 Caller Well, this one, it pokes fun at Mel Gibson, which South Park did about, I guess a few weeks after we started, we sent this episode into production. So we're wavering back and forth, thinking, well, do we want to cover the same ground as they did and we figured the episode turned out so well that we just, what the hell?

1:01:03 Adam So do you, I mean, how many of these-

1:01:05 Drew It all accounts, right? Yeah.

1:01:07 Caller As long as it's funny.

1:01:08 Adam How many of these things are in the can, as they say, and how many are you doing?

1:01:12 Caller We're doing 35 and we've finished, we've finished about four of them. We're editing the fifth and we're writing the 31st. So that gives you an idea of how long it takes to do these things.

1:01:24 Adam Wow. And how far from the time the 31st is finished, to the time it could be ready to air? Not, it does air, but it could be ready.

1:01:35 Caller It's usually about, oh, finished writing, you're probably looking at about eight or nine months.

1:01:41 Adam Oh really?

1:01:41 Caller Yeah.

1:01:42 Adam So, and by the way, 35 is a huge, I know it's animated, but it's still a huge pickup.

1:01:47 Caller Yeah, it's the biggest order we've ever done and it's a bigger order than, I mean, I think, I'm not sure if a show has, well, I suppose a show must have gotten a 35 order at some point, but not recently.

1:01:59 Adam And it's really not a non-strip prime time and not a weekly prime time show.

1:02:04 Caller It makes it cheaper. It makes it cheaper. You spread the cost out over more episodes. It makes it a lot cheaper, but boy, it's, it is backbreaking. I mean, we're almost done and we're just walking around like zombies.

1:02:15 Adam Yeah. I'll tell you, people, Drew, I was just over there on Friday. The nerves are frazzled over there. There was only three guys playing ping pong.

1:02:23 Drew Oh, God, you're kidding. Anybody golfing?

1:02:25 Adam One of them had his shoes on.

1:02:26 Drew Foosball?

1:02:28 Adam He was wearing flip. He had shoes on.

1:02:30 Drew Oh, my God, humanity.

1:02:32 Adam Everyone's on edge. Everyone is out of their mind over there. Yeah, it's tough sledding. It's crazy.

1:02:39 Drew Is that the same crew that you've been with you for the most part, the core people?

1:02:42 Caller For the most part. We've had people, every time the show gets canceled, we lose some writers and we're always able to assemble a portion of the people who have done it before. So we always joke that if this keeps up, if we keep getting canceled and picked up again, eventually every writer in town will have written on Family Guy at some point.

1:03:05 Adam Yeah, and you'll be like one of those bands like The Coasters, where they don't have any of the original people anymore, but you still want them.

1:03:14 Caller Like Manudo, we just keep changing them up.

1:03:16 Adam Yeah, like what?

1:03:16 Drew Was it the Manhattan transfer?

1:03:18 Adam That guy's in Temptation, he's 26 years old, and he had hits in the 70s.

1:03:23 Drew Yeah, Manudo, Papa's here.

1:03:26 Adam All right, well, let's take some more phone calls here, Drew. Yeah, porn, yeah, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Joe?

1:03:36 Caller Yeah?

1:03:37 Adam You're 18?

1:03:38 Caller Yep, that's right.

1:03:39 Adam What's up?

1:03:41 Caller Well, I can't come for the life of me, to put it bluntly, during sex, but a good 30-second clip of porn and I'm sick.

1:03:51 Drew So, are you nervous when you're 18? Have you ever had a girlfriend?

1:03:54 Caller Yeah, actually, I'm bi, so I've had both. Yeah. And so, the last time-

1:04:02 Drew I'm uptight, dude, I'm uptight. What are you gonna say?

1:04:05 Caller What?

1:04:05 Adam Yeah, all right, you're bi.

1:04:07 Caller Yeah.

1:04:08 Drew But bi means a few things to us and our callers.

1:04:12 Adam Yeah.

1:04:13 Drew It either means sexual identity confusion, meaning some sexual trauma in childhood, or it means that you're on your way evolving into another person.

1:04:23 Adam You're saying bi to heterosexuality. That's what I hear when I hear bi. Bye bye. Bye bye. Bye bye, vagina. See you later. Hello. I'm not gonna miss you. Yes. Remind me my mom.

1:04:33 Caller Bye bye.

1:04:35 Caller That's what bi is.

1:04:36 Caller Yeah, exactly.

1:04:37 Drew So you're gay.

1:04:38 Adam You're gonna be gay.

1:04:39 Caller Yeah. Yes, I'm gay. I'll admit it. I'm gay.

1:04:43 Drew Do you ejaculate when you're with men?

1:04:45 Caller Um, no. And the last time I actually remember cumming during sex was with a girl. And it was actually the same time I contracted herpes.

1:04:55 Drew And the pornography you watch, what kind is that?

1:04:58 Caller I'm gay.

1:05:00 Drew Have you been with a relationship with a male?

1:05:03 Caller I'm sorry?

1:05:03 Drew Have you been in a long-term relationship with a man?

1:05:06 Caller Yeah, I have actually almost seven months.

1:05:10 Adam That's his name, Bruce. That's the name that all the gays use to say. It used to be good Bruce humor too. Bruce is not that many Bruce's anymore.

1:05:18 Caller He's not going to go to jail, buddy.

1:05:20 Adam Yeah.

1:05:21 Caller Not that many Bruce's anymore.

1:05:22 Adam It's no longer gay. It's not a gay name anymore.

1:05:24 Caller It's because you don't have a baby and look at it and say, oh, let's call him Bruce.

1:05:28 Adam Yeah, nobody does that.

1:05:30 Drew But Joe, I don't quite understand. Do you have a sexual trauma history growing up?

1:05:35 Caller Oh, no, except for like a premature exposure to porn, maybe, but even that wasn't traumatizing.

1:05:42 Drew Yeah, unless you're gay and why are you having a couple?

1:05:44 Adam Well, you have a boyfriend, right?

1:05:46 Caller Yeah.

1:05:47 Drew And with him, you can't quite get it going.

1:05:51 Caller Well, I get it going and I get to that point and it's great. It feels great. But then like, I just can't, you know, get up over the hill.

1:05:59 Adam Maybe you need a more powerful Amel Popper. Cause I know you guys, I know they use the Amel Popper.

1:06:06 Drew I have good advice.

1:06:07 Adam Well, that's what they do.

1:06:09 Drew Yeah, of course.

1:06:10 Adam All named Bruce and they use the same thing.

1:06:11 Seth MacFarlane Hang on one second. Let me grab a pen. How do you spell that? It would be marvelous.

1:06:17 Drew How about mutual masturbation? You ever tried that?

1:06:20 Caller Oh yeah. Yeah. Whenever I masturbate, I can do it.

1:06:24 Drew So when it's mutual, when it's independent, Well, what doesn't work?

1:06:29 Caller Oral? Oral hasn't worked. Anal hasn't worked, but him jerking me off doesn't work. It's just, yeah, it's gotta be made by myself, which gets like boring for him. And he also thinks I'm holding back at times and I'm nice. I tell him it's a mental thing.

1:06:46 Adam All right.

1:06:47 Drew It is a mental thing. There's no doubt about it, but I can't quite, the few moments we have here, I can't sort it out.

1:06:52 Adam Well, by the way, you can pop in a little gay porn because the good news is you're with a gay guy and they love gay porn.

1:07:00 Drew It's a guy and he's gay, therefore he's on for the same thing.

1:07:03 Adam Yeah, you're not going to offend his delicate sensibilities.

1:07:06 Drew Yeah, there you go.

1:07:07 Adam Let's go ahead and pop in some gay porn.

1:07:08 Drew There you go. But it says something about the proximity of a person is what's getting him, inhibiting him.

1:07:15 Adam We're talking.

1:07:16 Caller He's not a people person.

1:07:18 Adam We've spoken in the past about how repugnant gay porn is to straight guys and not because we're gayphobic or we're uptight or anything, but when straight guys see graphic depiction of gay pornography, they have to avert their gaze.

1:07:33 Drew And we haven't talked about it in a while, but it's the same feeling as thinking about your parents having sex.

1:07:39 Adam Yeah, although that would be walking the park compared to a gay porn.

1:07:43 Drew But no, it's just the same feeling, the same kind of a...

1:07:45 Adam Yeah, it's like, it's a question of why did I have to see that? Why are they doing this?

1:07:50 Seth MacFarlane Yeah, right.

1:07:51 Adam I got to throw up and masturbate.

1:07:54 Seth MacFarlane Why is father hurting mother?

1:07:57 Adam That's right.

1:07:57 Caller Leave her alone.

1:07:58 Adam That's right. And that's why I say, and I should be able to sue. Drew, that was awesome.

1:08:03 Drew Yeah, I told you.

1:08:04 Adam I would, I believe there should be straight porno stores and gay porno stores and not, they shouldn't mingle. They shouldn't co-mingle the two. It's too disturbing for both parties. Or if they do have that big, you know, orange Caltrans cone between the two, because there's nothing worse than when you're walking along the aisle and you're just perusing. And by the way, you have to look straight ahead because you can't have your head on a swivel. You're going to spot somebody you know or somebody recognizes you. And if you make contact with someone, you can't say anything. And so you don't say, pardon me. There's that just sort of brush on them and it's weird and uncomfortable, but people know to stay in their shell. And so you're walking and you're usually, you have blinders on. You're looking, you're looking at two, two video boxes, maybe two and a half most. And you go, you go from the weird, you know, toe fetish stuff and then the orgy stuff and then the black on white stuff. And then into the big jug stuff. And then all of a sudden there's just, there's, oh, what's going on here? Oh, it's four dudes and a, and a dude. Oh, oh my God.

1:09:05 Caller No.

1:09:06 Adam Oh, it's like, oh, they're really giving it to the chick. She got a must.

1:09:12 Caller No, no.

1:09:14 Adam And now, now you're ruined. And I'm just saying you got to put a cone up. You got to do something.

1:09:19 Drew Well, what's interesting is why don't gay men feel the same thing about heterosexuals?

1:09:22 Adam I wish it'd be nice. You know what they need? If they're going to have the gay department at a adult video store or bookstore, they need to have it like where they have the smokers at the airport.

1:09:34 Drew The gate.

1:09:35 Adam Put it in a little loose side cabin in the back. Let them all go in there and do what they got to do. I don't have to worry about going in. When you're in the airport, you don't mistakenly slide through the smokers terrarium, do you? That's just a bunch of desperate people. I like in Vegas when they put a slot machine in with the smokers. Of course. Now it's like two-fisted fun. But the point is, put the gay stuff. You know what you need to put around? That loose-sight thing they put around the drum kit. I'm going to ban us up there. Just put that around. You know that thing? Yeah. Loose-sighty thing. Sure. Put that around the gate.

1:10:07 Caller You got like a million patents in you.

1:10:09 Adam Yeah, really? Why aren't you writing these down? Okay, go ahead.

1:10:14 Drew Should I read it straight?

1:10:17 Adam Why don't you read a straight one and then read one like Stewie?

1:10:21 Drew Loveline brought to you tonight by TNT. 40 games in 40 nights. Watch the NBA playoffs on TNT. Now, Stewie?

1:10:26 Adam That is awesome. Now, Stewie, like Stewie.

1:10:28 Caller It's extraordinary how he does this.

1:10:31 Seth MacFarlane Loveline brought to you tonight by TNT. 40 games in 40 nights. Watch the NBA playoffs on TNT.

1:10:38 Caller Drew, that is amazing.

1:10:39 Drew I like that.

1:10:41 Adam That is good.

1:10:41 Drew That's my kids.

1:10:42 Adam That's coming from the guy who does Stewie. I know.

1:10:46 Drew I'm so excited.

1:10:47 Adam Yeah, that's not coming from the guy who thought he got third place in the contest.

1:10:50 Drew Imitation is the best, one of the most sincere forms of flattery.

1:10:54 Adam Awesome.

1:10:55 Drew All right. I'll do my John Madden act.

1:10:57 Adam We will take ourselves a little break. Seth MacFarlane, the engine that drives the Family Guy in tonight, will be right back after this.

1:11:05 Caller Hello, this is your radio.

1:11:07 Caller Radio, Loveline will be right back.

1:11:38 Adam It's Loveline, everybody. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Seth MacFarlane is in here tonight from The Family Guy. Tomorrow night, Alex Borstein will be in here from Mad TV and The Family Guy. And she's also doing some writing, right?

1:11:51 Caller She is, yeah. She's a writer on the show, which is a very handy thing to have, both of us in the room together. Actually, a lot of the voiceover actors are also writers on the show.

1:12:04 Adam Yeah, I was noticing, I don't know what credits or what thing I was looking at, but I was noticing that a lot of the writers also did voices on the show or I don't know which came first, the writer or the egg, but it's kind of convenient to have everyone under the same roof playing ping pong all day.

1:12:21 Drew Foosball.

1:12:22 Adam Foosball, too. Oh, I'll tell you, it's what people in the Midwest think the California workplace is. Looks like it.

1:12:30 Caller Yeah, yeah.

1:12:30 Caller It just looks like there's no work getting done.

1:12:32 Adam No, there isn't.

1:12:33 Caller It actually is.

1:12:34 Adam And you got to get people hip to what floor you're on because I went to four or five different floors before I actually landed on the family guy on Friday. I was told to go to this one.

1:12:45 Drew The fact that the life size of the family is sitting up there was not your clue.

1:12:49 Adam Well, when the door opens.

1:12:51 Caller The big Aaron Spelling logo on the wall.

1:12:54 Adam I did go to the Aaron Spelling. It was like floor five. And then there's another like media thing. And then there's a million vans for Mexican radio stations. That's frightening. What do those people have? Like they have an attention deficit disorder. They all like glaucoma or something. What goes on that everything has to be so loud? Like a pinata. You know what I mean? Like explosion of color and sound all the time.

1:13:18 Drew Cannot judge. It's culture.

1:13:19 Adam It gets culture.

1:13:21 Drew Cannot even say anything about it.

1:13:22 Caller All right.

1:13:22 Drew How dare you?

1:13:23 Caller All right.

1:13:24 Adam Terry?

1:13:26 Hi.

1:13:28 Adam You're 17?

1:13:29 Caller Yes.

1:13:30 Adam What's up?

1:13:30 Caller I have a couple of questions for Seth.

1:13:34 Caller Okay. First things first.

1:13:36 Caller Seth, I saw you on Adult Swim and you are so hot.

1:13:41 Caller Oh. You have the most gorgeous eyes.

1:13:42 Caller Stop it. You're very kind. You haven't seen me with my glasses. Big Woody Allen frames. They're terrible.

1:13:50 Caller But you're still hot.

1:13:51 Adam Yeah.

1:13:51 Caller Well, you're very kind. You're very kind. Where the hell were you when I was in high school?

1:13:56 Drew When you were 17, exactly.

1:13:58 Adam She was not going to be born for another 13 years. That's where she was.

1:14:02 Caller Your friends were beating me up. That's what was happening.

1:14:05 Adam That's right. Your dad's friend. All right. So what do you got to say, Terry?

1:14:11 Caller Okay.

1:14:13 Caller I was curious if you remember my uncle, Roy Allen Smith. Yeah. He was there for you.

1:14:18 Caller Sure. Sure.

1:14:19 Caller Yes.

1:14:19 Caller Very, very talented director. Yeah.

1:14:22 Adam No, that's your uncle? He directed some family guys?

1:14:27 Caller Yeah.

1:14:27 Caller Yeah. Actually, first and second season, like before we got canceled the first time.

1:14:33 Adam Wow.

1:14:34 Drew Is he still okay?

1:14:35 Caller He's yeah. Yeah. I think so. Is he not?

1:14:38 Caller Yeah. Yeah. I don't get to see him often because he lives in Cali, but-

1:14:43 Adam So what's your question tonight, Terry?

1:14:47 Caller And I was wondering how you would get to be a voice actress, especially on maybe one of your shows?

1:14:55 Drew Especially on that. You can do what I do, call everyone you know and have them bug Seth.

1:15:01 Adam Or just get just cut right to the quick and start performing oral.

1:15:08 Caller The first thing to do is develop many, many deeply rooted psychological neuroses. Once you pass that point, there's really no quick, easy way to get into it. That's one of the toughest businesses to get into. The only reason I'm doing it is because I created a show, and it's interesting. I remember seeing Harold Ramis at one point talking about how he couldn't get work as an actor, and so he started writing movies and he would put himself in them.

1:15:39 Adam Right.

1:15:39 Caller That was the only way he could get. It's very difficult. I mean, the best thing to do is to make a demo tape with as much variety as you can put together and send it to as many agents as you can find. I mean, that's...

1:15:53 Adam Seth's saying basically Mary Rich guy.

1:15:57 Drew You know, we had the woman that does Bart Simpson on the show years ago.

1:16:00 Caller Nascar, right.

1:16:01 Drew Yeah. And she said she went and lived with... Who is the guy? Dawes... Whatever. Dawes Butler.

1:16:07 Seth MacFarlane She lived with Dawes Butler.

1:16:08 Drew She lived in a back house and studied with him or something. Remember that story?

1:16:11 Adam Well, she was nuts.

1:16:12 Drew I remember seeing her out of media. But this was it. She did a quick drama bra and stuff. And she sort of coached her on all the different ways to do this. And I think she said it was like a summer. It wasn't like for a long time.

1:16:24 Caller I got it.

1:16:25 Adam Well, Terry, what do you do? Do you have some voices?

1:16:29 Caller A little bit.

1:16:30 Caller I have a little girl voice.

1:16:33 Drew Oh, boy.

1:16:35 Adam All right. We know you've been molested and you've got the gig.

1:16:39 Drew Uncle. Oh, wait a minute, Seth.

1:16:42 Adam What else you got?

1:16:44 Caller Um, something really high-pitched like this.

1:16:49 Adam All right.

1:16:50 Caller I don't know.

1:16:51 Caller I have a little bit of a British accent.

1:16:54 Adam All right.

1:16:54 Caller Not bad. Not bad.

1:16:56 Drew I need a Bart's Ants. Oh, oh, oh, yes, Selma.

1:17:02 Caller Patty and Selma.

1:17:03 Adam Patty and Selma. Can you do a little of that?

1:17:05 Caller Do what?

1:17:07 Adam Do you do, do you do any, any, any ones we've heard of? Do you do any, anyone on TV?

1:17:13 Caller It's a little bit hard for me.

1:17:16 Adam Yeah.

1:17:16 Caller I can kind of sound like Meatwad from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, but I doubt you guys have heard of that one.

1:17:22 Drew I've heard of that.

1:17:23 Caller Yeah.

1:17:23 Adam Yeah, we know him well.

1:17:24 Caller We've heard of that.

1:17:24 Adam He's coming in tomorrow.

1:17:27 Drew Go ahead. I don't know.

1:17:38 Adam Is he Scottish? All right.

1:17:40 Caller Listen, keep working.

1:17:42 Drew I perfected Stewie in front of a mirror.

1:17:45 Caller Yeah. That was many, many hours of staring at himself in the mirror.

1:17:49 Adam Drew tells me he used to fill his bathtub half full, and then would line it, and would breathe, just leave his nostrils out of the water and breathe through it that way. With the tennis ball in his mouth in order to train his diaphragm.

1:18:02 Drew I told you about that?

1:18:02 Caller You did.

1:18:04 Adam Yeah, you were loaded. But you told me about that. It's embarrassing. Here's the thing. Here's the thing about voiceover work, stop me if I'm wrong. There is a little luck of the draw in it. It's almost a little like super talented soap opera acting, which is if you got there first and you're good and you got it on the ground floor, and here's the reality. Most gigs, probably with the exception of Corsa, Peter Griffith, and Homer Simpson, a few like that, most of them you could plug somebody else in and get a pretty good performance out of them. I mean, everybody I was at the Acme Theater with, or the Groundlings Theater with, every single person with the exception of me, would actually do a really good job at almost any voiceover gig they had. So then it's who gets there first and who show takes off and that kind of stuff. It's got to be a tough way to plan on making a living.

1:18:57 Caller Yeah, yeah.

1:18:59 Adam Yeah. So you should plan on acting and you should plan on writing and you should plan on doing other things. And if the voiceover... Now it sort of seems like the voiceover stuff, which used to be a specialty, is now going toward actors and writers and people that are in the business.

1:19:15 Caller Well, yeah. Most people, I think, would like to not confine themselves to one, to do as much as... To do on-camera work, to do voiceover work, as much as they can get. And whatever, as you say, luck of the draw, whatever winds up getting them the most gigs, then...

1:19:31 Adam It's just been really tough unless you were just that... Just sort of crazy, like one of these legendary guys that we spoke of, like Winchell, or what's his name, the guy that does Bugs Bunny. Mel Black. Clicky, too.

1:19:46 Caller The voiceover world is very, very clicky. Like, there's a handful of people who...

1:19:50 Adam Do everything.

1:19:51 Caller Get all the work, and it's not necessarily a good thing, but it's kind of...

1:19:57 Adam It's tough work, too, because I just did some voiceover work for Seth, and he's a very...

1:20:02 Drew Demanding.

1:20:02 Adam Oh, it's a captain. It's a general. He's so demanding. You don't think you're gonna make the cut. Like, I go like, all right, I had like six words, and I'll give you a three. You always do three. You never do four. You never do two. But you do three. You know what I mean? That three-take thing. Yeah, and so you do that, wow, this party sucks. Wow, this party sucks. Wow, this party sucks. And then you hear Seth go, all right, it's great, it's perfect. And you go, what? One of them was like a five, but the other were clearly three. No, I think we got it. And it's like, okay, it's not.

1:20:41 Caller Oftentimes we'll build, you know, we'll take the first half of number three and the second half of number one.

1:20:46 Adam But they're all number twos.

1:20:47 Caller Believe me, Adam, you don't leave that booth until I've gotten exactly what I want.

1:20:51 Adam All I'm saying is, is I, with my low self-esteem, leave and think, all right, he's decided he's not gonna go with it. Death is really gonna, Death is gonna get his own sickle. All right. Let's take ourselves a still, so you're on 31 of, oh, and then you got a, okay, you're on 30, you're writing 31 out of 35.

1:21:14 Caller Right.

1:21:14 Adam And you'll be, and you've finished four.

1:21:18 Drew Adam was saying how many more times is going in there?

1:21:20 Adam Yeah, death, and death is a meaty, look, I don't like to brag about death. But I'll tell you, some of career-wise, the biggest, most favorable notices I've gotten was doing death on The Family Guy. People are fans of death. I never thought I'd say that.

1:21:34 Caller Oh yeah, oh yeah.

1:21:35 Adam Huge death fans. And you have the figurine, for Christ's sake.

1:21:38 Caller Yeah.

1:21:39 Adam You gotta get me in there for a juicy death roll.

1:21:41 Caller I know, and we've been searching for that, you know, the last death story we had was the one where he takes Peter through his own past, and that was a...

1:21:51 Adam Powerful.

1:21:53 Caller That was second season. He appeared a couple of times third season, but we have yet to land on that great fourth season death story, but we'll focus.

1:22:02 Drew No, I need to be the dog, though, now. Jimmy's too big for that.

1:22:06 Adam No, that's the point.

1:22:07 Drew A dog or maybe the anti-death. So somebody might conflict with you.

1:22:11 Adam Listen, here's the thing about Jimmy. His kids are huge.

1:22:14 Drew I know, of course.

1:22:15 Adam Family Guy fans. As a matter of fact, Jimmy was at the live presentation over at the... Where was it?

1:22:23 Caller The Wiltern.

1:22:24 Adam The Wiltern last Friday. And the kids are nuts about it. So they would be angry if they took Jimmy off his desk dog. And he would be... You could definitely get him in there to do more desk dogs.

1:22:37 Drew That might be Death's Door. Death's Door.

1:22:41 Caller Yeah.

1:22:42 Adam All right. We will take ourselves a little break. Seth MacFarlane is here tonight from The Family Guy, of course, and we'll be right back after this. Please hold. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, Seth MacFarlane, here tonight from Family Guy coming back to Fox. And boy, Fox is pumped because they've been talking about it for quite some time. Family Guy finally coming back for good, we hope this time. Sunday night's nine o'clock, a week from tonight. And then Big Family Guy CD being released on Tuesday, a couple of days from now that Big Band, Big Score, Big Fun will play something else. I had to just write liner notes. I really should. Big Band, Big Score, Big Fun says minus seven stars, Ace in the Hole. Yeah. We will hear another song off of that. And first time to play a little Germany or Florida. This is a game that is sweeping the nation. All bizarre activity emanates from either Germany or Florida. I think Germany is the Florida of Europe and Florida is the Germany of the United States. If somebody has cut somebody's pickle off and fried it up and eaten it and videotaped it, it happened in either Germany or Florida. So Eric, you tell us the bizarre story and we guess. Is it Germany or Florida? Go ahead.

1:24:17 Caller All right. A 27 year old woman has given birth as part of an exhibition in an art gallery in front of dozens of spectators. Being her first child, the baby girl was delivered at a DNA art gallery. The 29 year old father said before the birth that the gift to humanity, a once in a lifetime thing, called the existential work of art. The manager of the gallery said the couple wanted to challenge conventional norms. They committed the test to see if society can cope. Some 30 members of the public were contacted when she went into labor.

1:24:54 Adam Wow.

1:24:55 Drew Germany.

1:24:56 Adam Yeah, that sounds very German to me.

1:24:57 Drew Germany has a rich history of this kind of thing.

1:24:59 Adam Yeah, yeah.

1:25:00 Drew It's from the Bauhaus days on forward.

1:25:02 Adam No, to Mengele. It just keeps going and going. They like to experiment.

1:25:08 Drew Florida.

1:25:09 Adam No, Florida. No, if you had said easy lube given birth, I would have said Florida.

1:25:15 Drew Or they ate the baby. Or is there something weird or something?

1:25:17 Adam No, no, just given birth in the back of a squad car.

1:25:22 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:25:23 Adam Given birth on a flagpole. You know what a flagpole is saying? Huge.

1:25:27 Drew Dodo.

1:25:28 Adam Went the way of the Dodo. So we're going Germany on this one. That sounds too easy.

1:25:32 Drew Yeah, that's what worries me.

1:25:33 Adam We're going Germany. Seth, what do you think? Germany or Florida?

1:25:35 Caller I'll go with Germany. Yeah, yeah.

1:25:36 Adam All right.

1:25:37 Caller That seems to be the...

1:25:38 Adam Stewie, where do you go? Where are you going?

1:25:41 Seth MacFarlane You know, I'm going to say Florida just to be a bitch.

1:25:43 Adam Oh, really? Peter, where do you go?

1:25:45 Caller Uh, what?

1:25:46 Caller I'm sorry?

1:25:47 Adam Brian, what do you say?

1:25:49 Caller Uh, I'm too far in the bottle to even know what the hell the question is.

1:25:54 Adam And, uh, Don Rickles? Maybe, you know, seem like he could do that. All right, he's going hockey puck. Uh, Eric?

1:26:05 Caller Yeah.

1:26:06 Adam Germany or Florida?

1:26:07 Caller Well, Stewie lost. It's Germany.

1:26:10 Adam Yeah. Wow.

1:26:11 Seth MacFarlane Oh, you know what? No, you know what? He didn't lose. His answer was just different. It was just different from yours. You know, everybody's right. Everybody's wrong.

1:26:17 Adam That's right. Hey, Adam? Yeah?

1:26:19 Caller Uh, could you guys play, uh, Ace's Mexican Ranchero recording Countdown tonight?

1:26:23 Adam Wow.

1:26:23 Drew Not tonight.

1:26:24 Caller Well, we will.

1:26:26 Adam We will play that, though. We should play that soon. I don't know if, uh...

1:26:30 Drew We have just enough time to play a song.

1:26:31 Adam Engineer Chris is, uh, equipped.

1:26:33 Caller Ace's Ranchero Countdown?

1:26:34 Caller No good. You don't like that game?

1:26:37 Adam It's that, uh, this, uh, this, uh, game is, uh, how, how far into a random Ranchero song just queued up in a random spot before, how long before we hear the accordion. The average is under three seconds.

1:26:49 Drew Under three easily.

1:26:50 Adam Yeah. Do you have anything, uh, there?

1:26:52 Seth MacFarlane Actually, I have the, uh, Family Guy CD ready, so...

1:26:55 Adam Oh, you do? Oh, so you can't play the both?

1:26:57 Seth MacFarlane Yeah. Yeah.

1:26:58 Adam Couldn't have two of those.

1:26:59 Seth MacFarlane All right.

1:27:00 Adam All right.

1:27:00 Drew Well, let's hear something. It's a radio station, Adam. We have two CD players. How dare you?

1:27:03 Adam Yeah. Let's, uh, you know, you think this is your living room? Come on. Let's hear a little something off the second cut off the Family Guy.

1:27:11 Caller This is, uh, this is Quagmire singing with the great Patti LuPone, who some of our more Broadway minded singers will recognize.

1:27:21 Adam Enjoy.

1:28:15 Seth MacFarlane All right, look, whatever your problem is, just get it off your breast. Gave you a VD, isn't that enough?

1:30:30 Adam Another great tune from Seth MacFarlane and the good old folks over there at the family. Well, that's awesome.

1:30:38 Caller It turned out good. Turned out good.

1:30:40 Adam Yeah. No, it's nice. I mean, creatively, Seth and I walked out to his armored car. He keeps these things. And he said he was just really happy with the way the product came out. And then it's sort of a win-lose-or-draw. I mean, you want everything to be super successful and make everyone some money, but when you feel good about it, you can move on to your next one.

1:31:01 Drew Right.

1:31:01 Adam Yeah. Awesome.

1:31:03 Drew All right.

1:31:03 Adam Let's again, that's...

1:31:04 Drew That was an experience with a big orchestra.

1:31:07 Caller It was pretty exciting, to add to why. It's the biggest band we've ever worked with, and it was pretty spectacular to watch.

1:31:12 Adam That's, by the way, coming to a store near you.

1:31:16 Drew I think there's a Family Guy musical ahead.

1:31:18 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:31:19 Caller It's been talked about. We've been presented with the idea from two separate companies and it's just time. We just haven't had, you know.

1:31:29 Adam You go, I say bigger than a musical, On Ice.

1:31:33 Drew Oh, there you go.

1:31:35 Adam Giant big guy, Peterhead out there.

1:31:37 Drew Would you do an animated movie musical or would you do a theatrical production?

1:31:42 Caller I mean, certainly an animated movie musical would be the ideal situation. I mean, it was interesting to be presented with the idea to do a Broadway musical because you think, well, gosh.

1:31:51 Drew How would you do?

1:31:52 Caller Yeah, well, I wouldn't. I mean, it would have to be enough to cast somebody who is, you know, looks and sounds like a Peter and Stewie would be the tricky thing. I mean, you'd have to get like a David Hyde Pierce or something to put on a pair of red overalls and walk around on his knees and make that great sound when he ran.

1:32:10 Adam Yeah, it's awesome. You know, my favorite, favorite, I'd say favorite family guy episode, size death list, is gotta be the one where Stewie wants to go kill this nemesis sperm.

1:32:23 Drew Yeah. Oh, yeah. Fantastic voyage. Yeah.

1:32:27 Caller Wally, Wally Sean.

1:32:28 Adam Yeah, that was just now. Do you have a favorite? And don't give me that crappy.

1:32:33 Drew They're all my last time you said that one. He actually, when Brian finds his mother's, the other one.

1:32:37 Adam The musical, the musical Brian, when Stewie and Brian take on the road is a great one, too.

1:32:42 Caller Yeah, that's always been one of my favorites. That was sort of the, you know, peak of, that was kind of where we hit our stride and hopefully we're still going from there.

1:32:54 Adam The road, you mean the Rosby and Hope road buddy?

1:32:57 Caller Road to Rhode Island, yeah.

1:32:59 Adam Yeah, that was a good one. And what about my sperm one? You like that one, too?

1:33:02 Caller Well, yeah, you know, I like your sperm one. I like your sperm one.

1:33:05 Adam Thank you.

1:33:05 Caller Yeah, it's good stuff.

1:33:06 Adam All right, death lives?

1:33:08 Drew No, no, no, no.

1:33:09 Adam All right, now, well, apparently not enough to bring back for more Two Lines, or maybe it's a five and under thing.

1:33:13 Drew Maybe it was the guy to the voiceover, I don't know.

1:33:15 Adam Oh, making fun of Norm? We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Well, that's the show, y'all. Thanks for tuning in. Want to thank dear, dear, dear, dear friend, Seth MacFarlane, for coming in tonight.

1:33:58 Caller Thank you so much.

1:33:59 Adam Always a delight, Seth.

1:34:01 Caller Always a delight, indeed.

1:34:03 Adam You can find The Family Guy one week from tonight, Sunday. Fox, nine o'clock. Excited, Drew and I are gonna be at the big kickoff party, and then The Family Guy CD, The Musical, will be released this Tuesday.

1:34:18 Drew Live in Vegas.

1:34:19 Adam Get that. So until next time, this Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew is saying Mahala.

1:34:24 Seth MacFarlane Why is father hurting mother?

1:34:27 Adam That's right.

1:34:27 Caller Leave her alone.

1:34:30 Seth MacFarlane This has been Loveline.

1:34:33 Adam Loveline, the opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold.

1:34:44 Seth MacFarlane Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, April 24, 2005