Episode 1000702636203

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

1:01 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

1:13 Voiceover This is Loveline.

1:17 Voiceover With Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:21 Drew Hey, your mic's not working, so try this.

1:24 Voiceover Hey, everybody, it's the Loveline. I'm the Vicar of Christ. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew is a board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist.

1:37 Drew What's up, Vicar?

1:38 Adam Later on tonight, one of the best stand-up comics currently working. And Drew, you know I don't like stand-ups.

1:47 Drew You don't, no, no. In fact, I feel like I can't recall the last time you actually said something positive at A Comedian.

1:53 Adam Well, you won't hear me say anything negative about Dave Attell.

1:58 Drew Wow.

1:58 Adam Dave, you know from Insomniac and well just about everywhere. But Dave is, I've seen him do stand-up on more than one occasion and is excellent. So he's going to be in here later on tonight. Let me say this, Drew and I, by the way, both in New York City this evening.

2:15 Drew Adam just had a huge dinner. He's about to fall asleep on us.

2:18 Adam Well, it's 1.05 out here.

2:21 Drew Yeah, but you've just arrived here three hours ago. No. So that makes any difference.

2:24 Adam No, no. I got up at 5.45 this morning.

2:28 Drew What did your wife do with that?

2:30 Adam Not good, but it was funny for me. But had the town car driver that never.

2:37 Drew Stopped talking.

2:38 Adam Never stopped talking. And town car guys, guys who drive the town car, sometimes some of the most overqualified guys in the world. You know, they know everything about local city government and they know everything about almost everything, but yet it's still 12 bucks an hour. And hopefully someone flips them 10 bucks when they get out to the passenger loading zone over at LAX. But that was fine. Got up, went to bed at 2.

3:04 Got up at 5.45.

3:06 Drew Nice.

3:07 Adam What I wanted to say is that we're over here at CBS in New York, in Manhattan. I was walking down the hall and running a little bit late and had to stop at a door because it was one of those office doors where the people paced up all the comic strips that they think are funny. But it's more like, it's not so much that they're funny, but that it's them. Oh, this is me. I'm a huge Cubs fan and this is a joke about and so it's going to mean something. I think those things should be reviewed before they go up and that they have to be an 8 plus on the comedy scale. I always stop at the person's door.

3:45 Drew Because you expect an 8, right?

3:46 Adam Yeah, they do it a lot. They do it on lockers in the jock lounge and stuff. You know, people just, first off, who is that person? Who? And Drew, close your eyes and imagine a scenario, the wildest scenario where you're thumbing through a newspaper, find a cartoon that you think is particularly amusing, then get out the scissors, cut it out, bring it into work and scotch tape it to the door or locker or whatever, whatever represents you over at the office.

4:14 Drew It has to be living in a parallel universe.

4:16 Adam Yeah, it would never happen. And let me ask you this, you know it would be a great thing to do, I always think about this, what if somebody said to you, look, we're gonna give you $10 million, if you just do one of these mundane things that other people do, you see it all around, it's nothing extraordinary, you would just never do it.

4:34 Drew Couldn't do it.

4:35 Adam You'd just be, you'd walk around going nuts, pasting up things, you just...

4:39 Couldn't do it.

4:40 Adam Knitting your dog a sweater, like you wouldn't know where to go, it'd be a form of torture, you end up killing yourself. But I just mean...

4:47 Drew And you know me, I'd be like, I lost the...

4:50 Adam Yeah, but you would never, you would never ever put one of those things up.

4:55 Drew It smacks a little bit of a comic book store owner.

5:00 Adam Here's all I'm saying, is I don't wanna be Ebenezer Scrooge, but if I'm running a workplace, you got a cartoon you wanna duct tape to the door of your office, I gotta review it. It's gotta be a good knee slapper. If it's not the goddamn funniest thing I've read all month, it's going in the garbage. You go ahead and put it in your upper drawer. It's not going on the front.

5:22 Drew How many family circles up there?

5:24 Adam 45. Oh. No, I just, I stopped by this person's door and I had to see them, even though I'm running late for the show, I had to read each one on the door and then it becomes a sort of weird, it's like that loose tooth that's painful, but you have to keep flicking it with your tongue, like, no, I have to finish the door before I move on, but then all of them feel a little more, a little less satisfying than the last, and now you're angry. Why did this person put this up? But then they're sort of specific, so you feel like, ah, this must mean something to them. They're a Star Wars fan, they're a Red Sox fan, there's something going on, and then, maybe somebody else cut it out because they thought it spoke to them and put it up and then what do you do?

6:06 Drew Then now it's a joke.

6:08 Adam Yeah. No, maybe it was one of these things where it's like, Drew, You'll appreciate this. Drew, he loves border collies. I get something that's so funny to a border collie owner, I'm gonna cut it out and put it on Drew's locker, and then you can't take it off. All I'm saying is, it's gotta be goddamn funny or it's not going up on the door, or just better yet, nothing on the door. I know it's a little sort of Nazi Germany-esque, but it's a workplace. You just wasted a good minute. Well, what would be a minute and a half of everyone else's time, for me, who reads at a third grade level, it was nine minutes.

6:45 Drew I wonder where you were all the time.

6:46 Adam And I had to read it and had to drag my finger across it.

6:48 Drew You know what, I went back out there looking for you?

6:49 Adam Yeah, I was reading The Door, the horrible, horrible cartoon, Drew. We'll look at it during the break. All right, so Drew, do you got the calls worked out?

6:59 Drew Yeah, we're ready to go.

7:00 Hey guys, I hate to interrupt.

7:02 Drew Yeah.

7:02 You got an engineer over there?

7:04 Drew Yeah, Adam, you're over my lens. You got to sit back for the mic a little bit.

7:07 Yeah, because his mic was off the whole time. So if they could call me, that'd be great.

7:10 Drew Well, they're not here, there's no engineer.

7:12 Adam Well, you want me back here?

7:13 Drew Yeah, just like that.

7:14 Adam Is that good?

7:14 Drew Yeah.

7:15 Adam All right, you want me to do the whole cartoon on the door thing again?

7:20 That's never, he'll be right back out. Do you guys don't have any pedentiometers in front of you or anything?

7:24 Drew No, no, we got the clock, it's not running.

7:26 Adam But I do love a pedentiometer, just for the name.

7:28 I use that just for you, Corolla.

7:30 Adam I love that, yeah, yeah. It's why, you know, they use pod up for short. All right, who do you got?

7:34 Drew Oh, the engineer's in there now.

7:35 Adam Who do you got, Drew?

7:36 Drew All right, let's try Dustin, who's 21. Or Dustin? Oh, this is gonna be good.

7:43 Adam Yeah.

7:44 Drew Dustin is 21.

7:46 Yeah, hey, what's going on?

7:47 Adam What's happening, Dusty?

7:49 What's going on, Vicar?

7:51 Adam Yeah, Vicar of Christ. That's my new name.

7:53 Drew Vicar, you?

7:55 You are my hero, man.

7:56 Adam Thank you.

7:58 I've got a question about in September or October, I was having sex with my girlfriend. And it was kind of hard going in. And like a couple days later, after I had like all these little scabs around it, around my penis.

8:18 Drew On the shaft?

8:19 Yeah.

8:20 Drew He's gay.

8:22 Yeah. There's one on the top that just hasn't gone away. No.

8:30 Adam On the top of your penis? I'm sorry. I got to apologize for this chair. It's like it's from Knott's Berry Farm. It's some kind of a novelty chair. What is this? A whoopee chair. You couldn't get this much noise out of a chair if you just buried it in sand for six years. Just put it out in some title pool. On the top of your penis, you mean the top flat part of your penis? The tip?

8:56 Drew No, no, no.

8:57 Like the top, like around where I would have gotten circumcised.

9:01 Drew Yeah. Dustin, it's very difficult to interpret what you're describing as scabs all over the place. One doesn't go at, you know, did it hurt when you originally broke out?

9:09 It just...

9:11 Drew It just what?

9:12 It's like a scab.

9:14 Drew Did it hurt when it originally broke out?

9:16 Adam All right, now listen, get rid of him. I don't need to help anyone tonight.

9:19 Drew That's true, you don't.

9:20 Adam Yeah, let's cut the show short.

9:21 Drew All right, let's try Shannon, who's 16. Shannon? Yes?

9:25 Adam Well, he needs to, Dustin needs to go to the doctor.

9:27 Drew Somebody needs to see it. If it was a painful outbreak, it's really herpes still proven otherwise.

9:30 Adam But they need to see it when it's in bloom, right?

9:32 Drew When it's active, but he's got one. Bloom, right? Best, it's the easiest. It's sort of more accurate to make the diagnosis then, but he's got a little something there maybe. Dermatologist is actually probably the best place to go. Shannon, what's going on?

9:45 Dave Attell I have been having really bad back pains. So my doctor wanted me to take prenatal vitamins and I'm on birth control. And I was just going to see if that would affect anything of the birth control.

10:00 Drew Prenatal vitamins? No, it's basically iron-containing vitamins. But what about the back pain? Why aren't they evaluating that?

10:06 Dave Attell Oh, well, they are, but they just thought that would stop the pain or ease it or whatever.

10:11 Drew No, it will have nothing to do with the pain. Prenatal vitamins? Are you having heavy bleeding also?

10:15 Dave Attell No.

10:16 Drew Really?

10:17 Yeah, I'm on birth control.

10:19 Adam All right, if you're on birth control and you're having back pain and the doctor tells you to take prenatal vitamins, he's really telling you, he's just saying, get out of here. Yeah. Back pain, smack pain.

10:28 Drew Yeah, you need an evaluation.

10:30 Adam He doesn't believe you.

10:31 Drew He's not paying attention or not really evaluating you carefully. Do you come in all the time?

10:36 Adam Or he thinks you're an opiate addict.

10:38 Drew Right. Have you come in complaining about pain repeatedly?

10:40 Yeah.

10:41 Adam All right.

10:42 Drew For over years?

10:42 Dave Attell I thought that might be something, that's just what he suggested.

10:46 Drew That's a placebo.

10:47 Adam Yeah, when he opens your file, it's just a big picture of a walnut. So it's just true. You have this puzzle.

10:53 Drew No screw in a ball.

10:54 Adam No screw in a ball, yeah. It's a screw in a ball or a walnut, or even the combo, I like to screw in the walnut. It's confusing, but it's kind of a one-two punch. Drew, if you have someone, especially female, complaining of persistent back pain, and you throw her through an MRI machine or you throw an x-ray at her, you don't see anything, and she's not playing lacrosse at the collegiate level, you just figure opiate addict or the screw in the ball, right?

11:22 Drew You worry about that. You always also worry that even when you're dealing with the screw ball that you miss something. So she should have an evaluation of the retroperitoneum, the place where there's a kidney and the uterus ends up.

11:34 I know what a retroperitoneum is.

11:36 Drew You know, things can happen back there, it can be difficult to detect. So probably an MRI of her abdomen would be a smart thing, addition MRI of the back.

11:42 Adam Potter back up for a second as engineer Anderson likes to say. I just want to see how many times you've gone in there complaining of back pain.

11:54 Three or four times.

11:55 Drew And what kind of work up have you had done?

11:58 Dave Attell Oh, he just like massaging it and popping it.

12:01 Drew What kind of doctor is this?

12:02 Dave Attell Oh, maybe I should have said it was a chiropractor.

12:05 Drew That's not a doctor.

12:06 Adam Yeah, that's why I gave it prenatal vitamins. I don't even give you a Zots.

12:10 Drew You got to see a doctor if you have a recurrent back pain.

12:12 Dave Attell He has said that it was mild degenerative changes.

12:15 Drew Shannon, you're 16. Go see a doctor. You can get tumors of the retroperitoneum. You can have pelvic pathology. All kinds of things can refer to the back. Get this evaluated properly before you're having definitive intervention. You need a diagnosis before you can figure out a treatment plan.

12:31 Adam Chiropractor is sort of like half doctor, half head shop owner too. It's not, you're not actually a doctor, are you? What do you do as a chiropractor?

12:41 Drew You don't go to medical school.

12:43 Adam You're like an herbalist.

12:45 Yeah.

12:45 Adam And why is it, Drew, who decided that everyone who's in the business, like the masseuse, masseur business, has to be nuts? Why can't a sane person want to just make hundred bucks for rubbing somebody down for 55 minutes? Does everyone have to be all spacey and talk about the toxins that have built up?

13:04 Yeah.

13:05 Adam And it's a bummer, by the way, when they're working on you and they're like, oh, you got, yeah, oh, this is your toxin center. It's like, is that attached to me? Yeah, yeah, it's in you. Fantastic. Yeah, oh, yeah, you store, you store. And they're such geniuses with you. You have a lot of tension. You store tension in your back. No, I store it in my heel. Of course I store it in my back, you idiot. It's the middle of me. You think I store it in my right eyelid? It's in your back. I could feel it. And by the way, who could ever argue with them?

13:36 Drew Right.

13:37 Adam No, no, no. Tension? No, I keep that in a foot locker at my parents' house.

13:41 Drew Right. How'd you know?

13:42 Adam How'd you know? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

13:44 Drew Back off that mic.

13:45 Adam Yeah, I'm getting excited. Let me tell you this, in terms of poor etiquette, the town car guy who spoke way too much today, who I'm delighted with, by the way. My wife is trying to sleep in the car, but the guy talked twice as much as I did. He...

14:02 Drew Oh, my God.

14:03 Adam It was funny. He was talking about Burbank Airport versus LAX, and he goes, yeah, you know, Burbank's just a much faster, cleaner way to get out of Los Angeles. I'm like, well, you know, I agree with you, but I'm flying to New York, and they don't have any flights. Oh, JetBlue's gonna open up like four flights starting in May, out of Burbank, by the way. So he's talking to Burbank for quite some time.

14:27 Drew And JetBlue out of Burbank.

14:28 Adam Oh, yeah.

14:29 Drew Dude.

14:29 Adam Five flights in New York coming up soon. Anyway, he's talking to Burbank, and then eventually, after he's talking Burbank up for 20 minutes, I say, well, you know, the reality is, though, when you're leaving at 6 a.m., Burbank is 15, 20 minutes, and LAX is 25, 30 minutes. I mean, just, you know, when there's no traffic, it's really only about 10 minutes difference. And he goes, yeah, but you're in and out of Burbank a lot faster, the security line is shorter. And of course, LAX is always the constant terrorist threat. And I'm like, huh? Sure, Burbank's never been targeted for terrorist attack. They've thwarted many terrorist attacks aimed toward LAX. I'm like, I'm heading for LAX now with my nervous flying wife. You understand? And he just waxes on about all the potential terrorist activity that's going on at the place he's going to drop us off at and speed away from in just a second. And I think, what do people, what is that? And it's a thing that guys who drive do, like whenever I would fly into Vegas, it'd always be that, where are you from? LA? Oh, yeah, I lived out there for a while. Couldn't take the gang violence, the corrosive smog and the impressive, like I'm going back in nine hours.

15:43 Caller I have a house there, you understand?

15:45 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah, I couldn't take it with all the gang bangers and volcanoes. It's like, do people think of the guy is driving me to the place where all the terrorist activity is going on? He's leaving the car running. I'm going to head on in and camp out in the place in the captain's nest.

16:02 Drew Nice.

16:03 Adam Fantastic. What was I complaining about, Drew?

16:05 Drew I know, we're not taking enough calls. Here's Lonnie, 21.

16:07 Adam I wasn't complaining about that.

16:09 Drew Oh, maybe I thought of something else. Lonnie, 21.

16:12 Dave Attell Hi.

16:12 Drew Hi, Lonnie.

16:15 Dave Attell My boyfriend and I have been together for probably about three years.

16:19 Dave Attell And we just recently had a kid.

16:22 Dave Attell Our sex life was great before I had a kid.

16:26 Dave Attell And now it's just kind of gone.

16:28 Dave Attell I don't know.

16:29 Drew You have no libido?

16:30 Dave Attell I mean, I enjoy it when we do have sex, but it's gone.

16:33 Drew You have no drive to have sex?

16:35 Dave Attell Yes.

16:35 Drew Is it because of the stress of raising a child, or is it something biological, do you think?

16:40 Dave Attell I'm not sure. Like, I...

16:43 Drew Well, I'll tell you what. It's very common for women to be completely shut down biologically for up to a year after a baby is born. Did you breastfeed, or do you continue to breastfeed?

16:52 Dave Attell I breastfed for about two weeks.

16:54 Dave Attell I had fat nipples, so it didn't work for me very well.

16:58 Wow.

16:59 Adam That's a boner breaker.

17:02 Drew For the child. I'm a mom.

17:04 It doesn't matter to me, so...

17:05 Adam I know, but I'm mad. I'm asked to go home and masturbate. Now, forget about it. Now, forget it. Hey, are you a big gal?

17:15 No.

17:15 Dave Attell I wouldn't think so, but...

17:18 Adam Kansas. Who's on the other line? Is there someone on the other line?

17:21 No. My daughter.

17:23 Dave Attell That's my daughter. She's sleeping on me right now.

17:27 Adam Oh, she's snoring. I can hear her snoring. All right.

17:30 Dave Attell Yeah, she's a snorer.

17:32 Adam All right. Hey, did she sleep on her back or on her side?

17:38 Dave Attell On her stomach.

17:40 Adam Oh, flip her over. I'm telling you, I flew out from LA today, saw everybody trying to get comfortable, sleeps on their stomach, rolled over on their chairs, head pressed against the window, back bent the wrong way. And everyone who's used to sleeping on their back just spread out, saw unlocks peacefully, teach the kid to sleep on their back.

18:01 Drew The whole problem was Sid's though, so.

18:03 Adam Oh, you get Sid's on your back?

18:05 Drew How do they record that? On her stomach.

18:08 Adam Oh, well, they flip him over.

18:09 Drew Yeah. But this is a common thing. And you gotta talk to your doctor. Sometimes it's as simple as getting on a birth control pill will sort of rekindle your biology a little bit. And women don't really take into account how common or how intense this biological change is after they have a baby and how common exactly what you're describing is. There are things that can be done about it, okay?

18:29 Dave Attell Okay, so I what should I I mean, he has completely just like, what is wrong with me?

18:36 Adam Give him a BJ. How about giving him a BJ?

18:38 Dave Attell Oh, no.

18:40 Adam Well, look, here's the thing, everybody. Think about all the things in life you do that you don't want to do and weigh that against the things that you do want to do. I mean, when you really start focusing, you know, we really in terms of preserving your relationship. Let's talk.

18:52 Drew I get some more to talk to her.

18:53 Adam No, but here's what I'm saying. We don't need her to talk to her. That's all I'm saying. That's that's that's basically how I go into. I approach the show that way.

19:00 Drew I know.

19:00 Adam I don't need them to talk to them.

19:01 Drew No, I know.

19:02 Adam Here's what I'm saying.

19:03 Drew I need them to listen to you.

19:04 Adam You take your life. Everyone, listen to me. You take your life and you sort of just break it down, whether it's taking the garbage out or driving the kids to school or carting them off to watch one of their little league games and like Pico Rivera or something, whatever it is, an anniversary, buying some jewelry for the old lady, whatever it is, 90 percent of your life, work and otherwise, it's just getting up and doing stuff you have to do in order to keep your relationship going, in order to keep a new work over your head, food in the refrigerator. In a way, if you're shut down sexually in your in your relationship is suffering because of it, once a week, give the guy BJ, I know it doesn't feel great to you, but it takes five minutes, puts a smile on his face and you guys don't get a divorce until you work out whatever biological.

19:51 Drew That's a reasonable point. Unfortunately, women when they're shut down sexually, the thought of sex becomes sort of like, ugh, shuddering, so it's hard for them.

19:59 Adam But the thought of work to a Corolla is the same thing. Ugh, if I even start to say, one time I started to say walk, but the Corollas thought I was saying work and everyone just shut down.

20:08 Drew They shuddered, they'll shudder.

20:10 Adam Yeah, it's going no walk.

20:11 Drew And we are talking about preserving relationship and I guess maybe women don't appreciate how important it is for men. Men start to feel there's something wrong with them, their wife isn't attracted to them, all kinds of crazy feelings, the least of which is they just don't feel good. They don't feel attached, they don't feel connected to that person, and that's something you need to pay attention to. But the other thing is postpartum depression, any depression up to 12 months after pregnancy is a postpartum depression, that certainly can shut down your libido as well. I'm looking again for Discover Health tonight for couples that had a threesome and ruined their sex life and for men with premature E. Call in.

20:47 Adam Yeah, let me say this, Drew.

20:49 Caller Say it.

20:50 Adam David Tell is here. Well, we'll talk to Dave, great comedian, David Tell after the break because we're going to go into it right now. But.

20:57 Drew There's a really interesting call here. A woman got an orgasm from an MRI scan.

21:01 Adam Wow. And MRIs are what you would do to someone if you were F-ing with them.

21:08 Drew Well, the older ones, yeah.

21:09 Adam Oh, so that's the one I had. I had to go in head first into this god damn thing. It was just like a monkey beating a trash can with a wooden spoon with your face smashed into it. Talk about getting weird.

21:19 Drew Yeah.

21:20 Adam All right. Let me tell me if you can pick up on this vibe, Drew, back to the guy driving me to the airport today.

21:27 Drew Yeah.

21:28 Adam So the guy, now, this is a weird thing. I like to talk. Guys who drive town cars like to talk. I'll just usually let the guy talk. But once in a while, somebody gets on to your topic, your wheelhouse, but you realize they're talking and they're not really. It's a weird, frustrating thing. So this guy's like, even if they know what you're talking about, they don't understand that this is your thing. So the guy is like, he's on his Burbank. Burbank's great, it's close by versus the terrorist Mecca over there known as LAX. By the way, where I'm taking you. By the way, ironically, trying to make time. We want that bomb to go off before you guys get there. I'm going to jump on La Brea, see if I can get you there before that whole place goes up. Mushroom cloud of fire would be awesome. But anyway, so he's driving there and he's going, I'll tell you one problem with Burbank, the cops. They hand out tickets over there. That's your topic. What? Don't get me started. He's like, yeah, too close. So he's like, and he just keeps going. No, no, don't take Hollywood Way because I and I'm like, but yes, the cops in Burbank, those pussies, those. By the way, it's not Burbank, it's rape bank. It just rape everyone it goes to. And he doesn't hear a word I'm saying because he's talking about Burbank and cops and chicken ass tickets at all time. And I just realized it's a weird, frustrating thing when everyone understands the frustration of someone not knowing what you're talking about or someone talking too much. But it's a weird thing when they're talking about your sort of of your stock and trade.

23:03 Drew You're with equal passion with equal. Oh, he's usurping your thunder.

23:07 Adam No, but they have no idea that that's your thing.

23:11 Drew You're a thunder.

23:12 Adam They're not. No. How dare you? How dare you? Well, first, my thunder.

23:15 Drew How dare you?

23:16 Adam No, how dare you? You're speaking to the vicar of Christ. I might remind you.

23:20 Drew I beg your pardon, your vicar.

23:21 Adam My point is, it's like if someone had no idea what you did for a living and started talking about addiction medicine but didn't hear anything you were saying and you never found out you were an addiction medicine specialist. You're just sort of going and they're just getting into every specific thing that you're into but never hear it. It's a weird, frustrating experience. And by the way, dropping you off at the-

23:46 Drew The Mushroom Club.

23:47 Adam Yeah, Al Qaeda South, where I'm being dropped off at.

23:50 Caller All right, should we take a break?

23:51 Drew All right.

23:51 Adam David Tell, the world's funniest comedian, is in studio tonight. We'll take a quick break and we'll bring him in after this.

24:00 Hello, this is your radio.

24:02 Caller Loveline will be ready.

24:34 Drew Hey, we need, Adam's talking to a mic that ain't working. How about that? Why don't you use this one?

24:40 Come over here.

24:41 Drew We have an engineer in here, that'd be great. Come over here, Adam. Let's try this one, test, test. There you go. Testing, testing.

24:49 Adam You know what I think is amazing, is our engineer's a husky guy with a ponytail. You don't see that too often in right out. Business man's lunch, come on. Could you grand drop me a lunch? Yeah. Got a little of that strip club DJ in him, Ken, our engineer right here. Hey, Ken. What's happening, brother man? I think one of our mics works, the other one doesn't work.

25:16 Drew There it is, coming back, coming back.

25:18 Adam Yeah. You got that one.

25:19 Drew One, two, three, four. All right.

25:21 Adam You want to swap them back? Yeah.

25:22 Drew Here we go. Ready?

25:23 Adam Go. Hey.

25:25 Drew Yeah.

25:25 Adam Seamless. I'm not over modulating now?

25:29 Drew No.

25:29 Adam All right. Well, I'm going to just go ahead and figure that everyone over there in Los Angeles has done their job and the great David Attell is poised at the microphone in Culver City. Dave, is that true?

25:43 Dave Attell That's me. What's up, guys? How are you doing?

25:45 Drew Dave.

25:46 Adam Good to talk to Dave. Sorry we couldn't be there in person.

25:49 Dave Attell I can't believe it. You know, whenever I'm in town, you're never here. And this is like such a shock because that's where I live. I live in New York. We could have done it for my apartment. No.

25:59 Adam Oh, we're going to go do it in your apartment later on. I mean, true.

26:03 Dave Attell You're going to take your part. Uh-huh. OK.

26:05 Adam Yeah. Dave is I was saying this. I realize it sounds disrespectful. But now that Mitch Hedberg has passed, Dave Attell is officially the funniest standup. And not that he wasn't before Mitch.

26:19 Drew It's just official. It's official now.

26:21 Adam But it was like it was a neck and neck thing. And now Mitch is Mitch is gone. Who and he'll be missed. I was a big fan.

26:27 Dave Attell Absolutely.

26:28 Adam Yeah.

26:28 Dave Attell Mitch is there is a bit of a race to rehab with some of the comics. And I'm probably the sea biscuit of that crew. But in terms of Mitch, for all of his fans and friends and family, it's such a sad loss. And he really was a great comic. And I give him legendary status. I put him up there with Bill Hicks and those guys Sam Kenison.

26:48 Adam So I do too. If only Drew knew who Bill Hicks was, it would really make that statement more poignant.

26:54 Caller It really would be funny.

26:55 Drew That's Sam Kenison.

26:56 Adam But he knows who Sam Kenison is. Yeah. But the thing the thing about it. And I've I've Drew, as you know, I'm a comedic snob.

27:03 Drew Yes.

27:03 Adam And that I don't like people. I don't like going outdoors.

27:07 Drew David, he hates comedians and he speaks of you with glowing love.

27:11 Adam David, there's a lot of guys, I think. And and Dave, don't be modest here. But there there are people and let's I'll tell you what, let's speak about Mitch Hedberg, but we'll think of you when you're talking about Mitch. So that way you can be modest and that way, you know, also also get your point across, which is I think there's a lot of standups out there that just almost approach it like an acting gig. Like, look, I want to do stand up. I'm going to buy some jokes. I'm going to write some jokes. I'm going to steal some jokes. I'm going to memorize them just like an actor would memorize a monologue. And I'm going to go up there and do myself. I'll treat it like a gin rummy hand. I'll discard a few. I'll collect a few. I'll get a nice tight 20 minutes and I'll make some money. I'll do some traveling, do some cruise ships. I'll do a few appearances on Letterman. And then there are people out there that should be doing it, need to do it, have to do it. That's how Mitch was. That's how Dave is. There's just people, this is what they do, not what they can do, what they should be doing, what they do do.

28:11 Drew They actually do it.

28:12 Adam Yeah, and they need to do it and they should be doing it. Sorry, Dave.

28:16 Dave Attell No, that's cool, man, because I know what you're talking about, I like to call them the seven minute wonders where there's guys who work on a tight, like you said, seven, 12, 20 minute set and then they come to LA and they got these big dreams about like I'll do Leno or Jimmy or whatever one time and then I'll get my own pilot and I'll go from there to movies and then somehow it'll end up great and I'll have that big house and all that stuff. But it's a long process and along the way, some things, you hit some bumps. One of them is gay porn. That didn't happen to me. No. So that's, you're right, there's a lot of people that do it to do it. And then there's other people that, you know, it's kind of like, you know, it's in us to do it. And Mitch was definitely one of those. And unfortunately, the lifestyle of what you're talking about, as you know, it's not really conducive to, you know, all the temptations. Yeah, all the temptations are right out there for you on the road. And you know, it takes a real strong man or woman to, you know, resist.

29:14 Adam Well, I mean, you just think about what you do when you travel versus what you do when you're at home. I was drunk at 815 this morning because you're flying. I was flying. I got to the airport at 730. The flight was delayed 20 minutes. I had put down like three high balls by 812 this morning. I mean, normally I wouldn't be drunk until 10.

29:39 Dave Attell You and I are like a generation too late. We're the functional drunks that we grew up with, you know, like my dad never missed a day of work and he never missed hitting me, you know, like that kind of drunk. But no, I'm kidding. You know, it's like drinking is my thing. That's my big problem. But I'm with you, man. It's so hard to resist it, you know?

30:00 Adam And imagine, like I said, if you're-

30:01 Drew A new medication for that.

30:03 Adam If you're, what is it?

30:04 Drew Camp rye.

30:04 Caller Jesus.

30:06 Adam I'm probably just going to give you one of those answers too.

30:07 Caller Camp rye.

30:08 Drew Yeah, it's good. It's a new medication that decreases the drive to use alcohol. You're supposed to take it with comprehensive treatment, but it's very good. It's very effective.

30:17 Adam It's effective with booze. So what do you do? You take like one in the morning and then have a sensible cocktail?

30:22 Drew You have to have two, three times a day.

30:24 Dave Attell You wean yourself down to Zima. Wow. Is it like that? I mean, can you still drink on it?

30:30 Adam I'm down to three tequisas a day.

30:33 Drew You can, but you're not supposed to. I mean, you're missing the point.

30:36 Adam Will you get sick?

30:37 Drew No. It just decreases the drive.

30:39 Adam I could try and see what it would do. But all I'm saying is normally my booze starts when I get home from the radio at 1230 at night. If I travel, the booze starts 20 minutes after I get to the airport, whenever that is. And I couldn't imagine doing it for a living. It'd just be one big long cocktail party. And also the same with everything that's sort of bad for you, smoking, eating. Think about the junk you eat when you're strung out, you get up early, you're traveling, you're eating stuff, you're not exercising the way you would. I mean, it's a lifestyle that sort of could erode you physically pretty quickly.

31:21 Dave Attell Yeah, you get into the habit. Like when I was touring with Mitch, it was Mitch and Lewis Black, another great comic. And we, you know, we're all, none of us are gonna be a Men's Health magazine. I mean, we're just straight ahead drunks and we drink and do all that kind of smoke and everything. But we felt for Mitch because he had just come off of one of his bad episodes. And meanwhile, he was still out there doing 40 minutes and drinking a little bit, doing whatever he does. And we're like, wow, man, this guy has the tenacity. It's like amazing, you know? But I guess that's part of the addiction. It's like you can always get to do it, but it's stopping is the hardest thing.

31:58 Adam What did what did he? This is a great comedic interview, by the way. What did he did he OD or what actually happened to him in the big picture?

32:09 Dave Attell See, I I really have and I'm not holding back or anything, but I will say that he I don't know if he OD. OD the way we've seen in movies, but he evidently was doing something and we're waiting on the toxicology to come back about what exactly happened to him. But I will say one thing for about the whole drug addiction thing and Mitch that a lot of people tried to reach out to him to help him. And that comes from like other comics, friends, family, my managers, all these people who knew and loved Mitch, they saw him and they really wanted to get him help. The only person who didn't think he had a problem was Mitch. And I really do believe that he thought he could control his thing or learn how to do it differently.

32:58 Drew You can understand that denial is a defining feature of addiction.

33:01 Dave Attell Yeah, Dr. Drew, you can tell everybody that once he admits he has the problem, that's part of the cure and he never got to that point and was sad. Because he did deserve a second chance. Everybody deserves another chance.

33:15 Adam Well speaking of another chance, you want to see Dave Attell this Friday. April 8th, he's going to be at the Canyon Club in Agoura Hills. I got a bunch of other stuff here, Dave, like the Insomniac Tour and that kind of stuff. What stuff do you want to hit?

33:34 Dave Attell Well, if we're going to plug some dates, I'll be at the Canyon Club and then the next day, Saturday, I'll talk about Temptation. I'll be at Caesars and Tahoe. So Adam, have you been there?

33:45 Caller Yeah.

33:47 Dave Attell That's mountain drinking.

33:47 Adam It's beautiful. Yeah. Tahoe is amazing, by the way.

33:51 Dave Attell There's nothing else to do.

33:53 Adam Yeah.

33:53 Dave Attell It's just drinking and gambling. It is a beautiful place. If you can get out of, you know.

33:58 Adam Oh, the lake, the lake is amazing. And let me tell you a revelation I had over in Tahoe. They don't really have strip clubs in Tahoe.

34:06 Dave Attell They don't.

34:06 Adam But you know what they do have? They got a lot of pent up women at clubs. They're looking to party. It's almost better than a strip club. It's like a civilian strip club. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's crazy. It is. There's just tons of women around that town from parts unknown that are looking to humiliate current and ex-boyfriends. It's awesome. Lake Tahoe is really like 30 shades of blue. Good Dave, get on one of those boats and take a look, take a lap around that lake.

34:39 Dave Attell See, now that's something if I didn't drink, I would do. Because with the drinking, it depends. I have my episodes, but when you drink, you miss a whole day. You can miss a whole day, you're like, oh man, I got to get up and then you're like, oh no, I'll just sleep till showtime. And the good thing about it-

34:56 Drew Don't you want to give a crack at it, and not to use an improper term there, but to give a shot at recovery?

35:04 Dave Attell I'd say that I didn't know this was a intervention. You guys were so afraid to be violent, you went to New York to tell me.

35:14 Adam We don't have any business here, we're coming home in the morning.

35:17 Dave Attell No, you're right, the thing that sobers me up the most is having to work, and you guys know how it is, where it's not like a nine to five job, this whole thing that we do, it's like you have to get up for radio promotions at six in the morning, and I try and be a little professional. I had my days where I'd go in smelling like the night before, and it just got too hard, I'm getting old. So I agree with you, man, you're right. We can all learn something from what happened to Mitch, and I guess moderation is the way to go. It's just hard to pull off.

35:47 Drew If you're an alcoholic, you can't moderate. That's the wish of every alcoholic.

35:53 Adam Dave's not an alcoholic.

35:55 Drew It's a disorder of brain drive mechanism.

35:56 Dave Attell I'm a liquid adventurer.

35:57 Drew And so the way the drive mechanism has become altered, there's something called a corkutopen releasing factor that becomes Boring. enlisted in the amygdala.

36:06 Adam All right, come on, the man.

36:07 Drew And neuropeptide Y drops down. And you can't control it. You just can't. Here's Paula, who's 25.

36:14 Adam Paul?

36:15 Dave Attell Hi.

36:15 Adam Is it Paul?

36:16 Drew Paula.

36:17 Dave Attell Paula.

36:17 Adam Can you hear me?

36:19 Dave Attell Hi there. Um, I had an MRI today on my knee. Um, and it was a series of six different scans, I suppose. And during two of them, um, I actually had orgasms.

36:34 Wow. Wow.

36:35 Dave Attell Um, and I was wondering if Dr. Drew could explain that.

36:38 Dave Attell You're an alcoholic.

36:39 Adam It's great for, it's great for guys who never brought a woman to orgasm via air course.

36:44 Dave Attell Now we all need an MRI machine in our house.

36:46 Adam Yeah, basically you're at a metal, medical facility, knocking them out.

36:51 Drew Was it a cold table?

36:53 Um, uh, I'm not familiar with, what's that?

36:57 Adam Was it cold, was it, why, why cold tables?

36:59 Drew Remember when Nicole Richie told us if she sat on a cold surface, she would do it.

37:02 Adam Oh, she sat on her bathroom floor.

37:03 Yeah, yeah.

37:04 Dave Attell Oh, um, no, that it was, uh, you know, it was kind of like a little cut. It was, I was on like a.

37:09 All right.

37:09 Drew And is it, was it shaking? Is that what caused the reaction?

37:14 Dave Attell I was wondering about that. So the way it sort of felt to me was like, you know, a very, very high frequency vibration. And that's, that's what I thought at first. But I am, I asked.

37:27 Adam Orgasm array.

37:30 Caller Well, that's just pointed at women.

37:31 Drew They actually, as a guy, I interviewed a guy that's putting in orgasmic stimulators into the spine. It is certain that as we put these stimulators at the, what's called the, the, um, cata aquina, the tip of the spinal column, women have orgasms when you turn the electricity on.

37:47 Adam Nice.

37:47 Drew It's weird. Are you multi-orgasmic?

37:50 Dave Attell Yes.

37:51 Drew Yeah, you just have them all over the place.

37:53 Adam It doesn't take anything for you.

37:54 Dave Attell Am I the only one who wants to know how your knee is? What would, what'd they find?

37:58 Dave Attell I don't know until I have a follow up. It's probably, it's probably not major.

38:02 Dave Attell A little fluid.

38:03 Dave Attell Yeah. I was, and I was also wondering if, um, if they were just scanning my knee, would, would there be anything on the MRI that might have led the technician or my doctor to, to find out that I was having orgasm?

38:15 Drew No, no, no way. No way.

38:18 Adam You're screaming at the top here. That might give them a head start to the technician if you're not in.

38:23 Drew Yeah, going back to the scanner at night, flicking the switch.

38:26 Adam Yeah, you're breaking into the place. Yeah.

38:28 Drew It's hard to imagine how the magnet itself could have caused this kind of thing. It just, I just don't quite get that. I suppose it's, I don't see what the policy is.

38:37 Adam Well, Drew, what about the thing where they hook the probe up to the person's spinal column? How does that work?

38:43 Drew That's actually something that has to be slipped up a little electrode into the spinal column.

38:47 Adam You put a hole in your skin? They can't just find a vibrator?

38:52 Drew What's going on? I know this guy who does pain management noticed that it was putting spinal stimulators in to control pain. These women started becoming orgasmic or having spontaneous orgasms.

39:02 Adam Because you see a tongue ring, the chick's good to go, but you see the extension cord hanging out of the small of her back.

39:08 Caller It's like, all right, we're in.

39:10 Drew We're good.

39:10 Dave Attell Do you have a regular vibrator or?

39:13 Drew No, never used one.

39:14 Dave Attell Really?

39:14 Drew She doesn't need to.

39:16 Dave Attell I think you should get one.

39:16 Adam No, she flips on like a fluorescent bulb and all of a sudden, she's an Amish excited.

39:23 Caller She's on, yes.

39:24 Caller Toaster oven fires up.

39:25 Caller Yes, ma'am.

39:27 Dave Attell So I thought it was kind of harder to explain because the technician said that the most important thing for the MRI was for the patient to remain completely still. So I thought that it couldn't possibly vibrate. So I was wondering if it was, in fact, the magnet.

39:44 Drew I don't I've never heard of the magnet. Maybe it's possible. I've just never heard of that. I suppose it's possible.

39:49 Adam Let me float something, Drew. They always tell women to take more iron. They always say women need more iron. Nothing conducts a magnet like an iron. No, think about it, Drew. Before you just dismiss it and laugh it off, think about it.

40:04 Drew It's an interesting phenomenon. I just don't see.

40:06 Adam All right. No, I'm saying, okay, iron in the blood, right?

40:09 Drew No, I know.

40:10 Adam Flip the electromagnet on, it starts getting pulled down toward the vagina. Vagina becomes engorged, okay, with blood, thus stimulating.

40:18 Drew It's a flipping thing too.

40:20 Adam Just think about it. Be so dismissive and stuck up. All right. Let's take a break. Dave Attell is over there in Los Angeles. Dr. Drew and I are out here in Dave's home turf in New York City. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

40:36 Dave Attell Loveline.

40:37 Dave Attell We'll be right back.

40:53 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm the Vicar of Christ. That's Dr. Drew.

40:58 Drew Vicar.

40:58 Adam Dave Attell is in Los Angeles tonight. Dave is now officially the world's funniest stand-up comic.

41:07 Drew By the way, Dave doesn't even take a beat with the Vicar of Christ. He's like, hey, hey, Vicar, yeah.

41:11 Adam Well, my thing is, it's, well, I mean, another ten or so days.

41:13 Dave Attell You're too kind, man. It's embarrassing.

41:15 Adam Well, no, Dave, I've seen Dave do stand-up on way more than one occasion. He's just an awesome stand-up.

41:24 Dave Attell There's a lot of good people out there, but Mitch, that was a big loss for comedy because he's so unique.

41:29 Adam Yeah, he was. He was excellent. But Dave, you would be a bigger loss for comedy. Not for your family necessarily, but for comedy.

41:37 Dave Attell Wait, I got some mortgages.

41:39 Drew That is funny.

41:40 Adam Dave could be found this Friday, April 8th at the Canyon Club in the Agora Hills and then Saturday, the 9th, he's going to be over at Tahoe, right?

41:52 Dave Attell Yeah, Caesars Tahoe.

41:54 Adam Caesars Tahoe. All right, Drew, who are we talking to?

41:56 Drew Let's take a nice fisting call.

41:57 Adam Yeah.

41:58 Drew Ooh, Michelle, 27.

42:01 Caller Hi. Hey.

42:04 My question was about, sorry, hold on, I'm at work. I've got to sneak outside so everyone I work with doesn't hear me.

42:10 Caller Where do you work?

42:11 I work at, I can't say where I work because I probably get in trouble for that, but I'm a caregiver. I take care of people who have Alzheimer's and dementia.

42:16 Dave Attell Ooh, do you run an MRI?

42:19 Huh?

42:20 Dave Attell Sorry. Last call.

42:21 Adam Go ahead.

42:22 Yeah. Okay.

42:23 Adam And by the way, say whatever you want in front of the people, dementia.

42:26 No, it's not them I'm worried about. It's the people I work with that I don't want them hearing this. Okay, all right.

42:31 Drew Let's go in there.

42:32 Okay, so anyway, my question is, I have a really, really high sex drive and I'm always curious about exploring new things and doing new kind of stuff. Well, my boyfriend today, we were messing around and he started to finger me and was using two fingers. And it was kind of a progressive thing where I was like, okay, try another one, another one, another one. Well, eventually it ends up being a 15 situation where-

42:55 Adam Eventually got to 14 fingers.

42:58 They passed his wrist, you know, passed his wrist had gone in there, like maybe an inch or two down from his wrist. So part of, I mean, the lower part of his arm. And the thing is, I really, really liked it. So I'm a little sore now, but-

43:10 Adam That's not the love.

43:12 Dave Attell Yeah.

43:12 Drew You're sore, yeah.

43:13 So I'm concerned that, I mean, is that dangerous? Should I not do that?

43:17 Dave Attell Is that-

43:18 Drew You know, you can cause urethral damage and you can cause some, yeah, you could traumatize the area, but it's sort of meant to stretch pretty good.

43:27 Adam Yeah. And you know, it's funny if you pulled out the scarves that never ended.

43:32 Caller Just kept pulling the scarves.

43:33 Adam The drums were going away. Just keep pulling it out. Are you-

43:40 Drew Let me just-

43:46 Adam Let me give a little math. We don't- On radio, we just- It's the theater of the mind. But when I hear- Here's the first thing. I hear graveyard shift. I hear 20 pounds overweight. Then I hear caregiver. Now we're up to 50 pounds overweight. Then I hear up to the elbow fisting. Now we're about 85 to 90 pounds overweight. Are you a big gal?

44:11 Caller I'm probably close to about 100 pounds overweight.

44:14 It doesn't really work that way, but yeah.

44:16 Adam I had you at about 90.

44:18 Drew We had to do the radio math. You hadn't done that yet.

44:20 Adam Yeah. Okay. All right. Hey, let me ask you something about the caregiving shoes. You guys just can't wear regular sneakers. You have to wear those weird flesh-colored ones. They're surrounded off in the front. They maybe have a velcro strap. They're just creepy. The white earth shoes. Not quite. Yeah. Not an earth shoe, not a sneaker. What is that? Can you guys just wear some Keds in there and stop freaking everyone out?

44:42 Dave Attell You know what?

44:42 Caller I do. I just I wear sketchers. And then here where I work, we can wear whatever we want.

44:46 Dave Attell So even pumps like high heel, you know?

44:49 Adam Yeah. I want to hear you coming down the hall.

44:51 Dave Attell That'd be good for the people.

44:53 Adam She's got stiletto heels. She's got 100 pounds extra weight on her and she's wearing a nice stiletto. All right. So what about it, Drew? Is this something that could harm a gal?

45:05 Drew Obviously, you could. You're talking about maybe tearing. And again, I worry more about urethral damage and urinary tract infections, that kind of thing. But it's not as though it's the kind of thing. People do this thing and it's not as though people are entering the hospital daily with vaginal ruptures.

45:19 Adam Yeah. But you know, like what's in it for a guy? It's like, well, you know, be like, be like, you.

45:25 Dave Attell The story, I guess.

45:26 Adam Yeah. But I mean, it's like you're stretching out your own underpants. Like, you got to go in there, wait a minute, buddy, with something a lot less than a fist. What kind of strategies? Like, you're giving yourself a wedgie.

45:36 Drew What kind of strategy is this? He was my little thought bubbles, matter of fact.

45:40 Adam It's going to be a huge disappointment when Mr. Penis comes a knock and after the fist leaves, right? It's just, yeah, here's the thing, I go in with something smaller, like a popsicle stick or something, then the penis seems a toe perhaps.

45:55 Drew Yeah, a little piggy.

45:56 Adam Yeah, I know, I go with the little one, yeah, and I cut the nail first because I'm a gentleman.

46:01 Drew Senor Wentz is what stories he'll tell.

46:03 Caller It's all right.

46:06 Adam So you say two inches past the wrist, huh?

46:09 Caller Yeah, well, probably about an inch, maybe close to two, but yeah.

46:13 Adam Well, let me ask you this, Drew, is this is he wasn't wearing one of those medic alert bracelets, was he? Like I'm a diabetic.

46:21 Oh, all right.

46:23 Adam Here's the thing, Drew.

46:24 Drew Yeah.

46:24 Adam How come this works better on a heavy set gal? I don't know.

46:28 Drew I don't know.

46:29 Adam Miniscule gal.

46:30 Drew I don't know.

46:30 Adam But there's more, the pouch bigger, the area bigger.

46:33 Drew I don't know.

46:34 Adam Maybe you're not in, you know what I mean? Maybe you're not in, maybe the whole area is inflated, so you're not really in as far as you think you're in.

46:42 Drew Maybe. I just don't know. I've rarely talked to small women who are into this.

46:46 Adam Check it out. Get back to me.

46:49 Drew All right.

46:49 Adam So here's the thing. If something doesn't hurt, is it doing damage to you? You know what I'm saying?

46:55 Drew If something doesn't hurt. Well, your body, pain is basically there to give you feedback, to let you know it's something you need to stop doing. Not hurt. Things that don't hurt.

47:05 Adam I don't trust this guy, by the way. What's he do? He drive a rig?

47:11 Caller No, he's a warehouse manager.

47:13 Adam I thought he was a conductor of a Philharmonic or something. A picture guy fails.

47:17 Dave Attell Did he fist you overhand or underhand, like Lady Softball?

47:21 Adam Yeah. How's he go?

47:23 Caller Well, first it started out just his fingers going in. Once his hand was in, then he closed his hand and made a fist, and he can turn it and stuff.

47:29 Drew All right.

47:30 Adam So he's working her up. You say fist, but you're not really making a fist. Yeah, it's more like a fist.

47:35 Drew She said he closed his hand once he was in there.

47:38 Adam Yeah, but isn't it sort of like you're trying to, it's like you're trying to fish something out of a vending machine more than it is. You're actually trying to kill the machine with your hand.

47:45 Drew Well, you can't just give it the right hook.

47:47 Adam Yeah, there's a Kit-Kat up there, and it didn't fall all the way down the chute.

47:50 Caller Now you've got to get it.

47:51 Drew And then he closed his hand around it, though.

47:53 Caller All right.

47:54 Caller Yeah.

47:55 Dave Attell Was he signing in there? Any kind of sign language symbols or anything?

48:00 Adam Yeah. No, no.

48:01 Drew Just an OK sign.

48:02 Adam Well, here's my point. Who says chivalry is dead?

48:04 Drew All right. Yes, chivalrous. Yes, yes.

48:06 Adam I were. Do we need to take a break?

48:08 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

48:09 Adam Dave Attell is in studio tonight. I'll tell you, I could go for fisting call every show. I really could. It's been a long time. Dave is going to be at the Canyon Club this Friday, April 8th, and then Caesar's Tahoe on the 9th, the next day, Saturday. Take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Hey, Dan, the engineer. Where's that finger thing that I got in the radio, so the engineer guy could give me the finger? No, not that one. Yeah, the pointy one. Not that middle finger, no, no. Yeah, like, I grew up watching sitcoms where once ever every like 15 episodes, something to do with radio, and the engineer was so animated with that big finger, you're on, and they would show the meters going, and they'd do that thing where I hold one ear, I hold my cup of hand over one ear, you know? How come we never do that thing, Drew, where we cup our hand just over one ear? Remember how Keith Partridge used to sing? He'd be going to a recording studio every once in a while, do the one hand over the one ear?

49:50 Drew Who was the guy at the beginning of Laugh-In? He used to do that.

49:53 Adam Oh, Gary Owens. Gary Owens, yeah. Let's do that. Oh, boy. Dave Attell in the studio.

50:00 Dave Attell You mean the big hand, like the Howie Mandel hand? Is that what you're talking about?

50:03 Adam No, not the hand purse.

50:05 Drew Not a blown up glove.

50:07 Adam But the hand, you know, back in the day when guys would go into the recording session, when it was studio, like when Keith Partridge or Davy from The Monkees would go in and they had to do a ballad, it was always one hand cupped over one ear and they were singing.

50:22 Drew They were holding a headphone up to their ear.

50:24 Adam Yeah, it was pressing the headphone, but it was like they were caressing themselves too. It was very...

50:30 Drew It was like they were hearing the ambient noise and then the focused sound.

50:33 Adam But it was like, girl, and the hand was up there and it was moving. I miss it. Drew, let's do that.

50:38 Dave Attell They don't do that on American Idol anymore. I mean...

50:40 Adam No, there's no... There's no... Don't do that. All right, let's do that, Drew, and let's get the engineer to give us a finger.

50:45 Drew He's gone.

50:48 Adam Dave Attell is here, the world's funniest stand-up. I saw Dave when I was in San Francisco.

50:55 Dave Attell That was a fun time.

50:55 Adam Many years ago, about five years ago, doing some just fantastic work, and then many other times, of course, since then. Yes, Drew.

51:04 Drew I'm looking for people that have had threesomes and that has screwed up their sex life, and men who have premature E.

51:10 Adam Nice.

51:10 Drew And diabetic males who didn't take care of their diabetes, now having erectile problems.

51:15 Adam Dave, by the way, can be found at the Canyon Club in Agoura Hills coming up this Friday, and then Caesar's Tahoe on Saturday. And I was talking to Drew, or taking a long walk to get some coffee, about how this dog is the best thing I ever did, because-

51:33 Drew And I showed Adam Dan Rather's chair.

51:35 Adam Yeah, it was nice. Oh, really? It was stiffed. Yeah, it smelled newsy. My wife used to always want to go on vacations. Actually, my wife doesn't want to go on vacations until she hears other a-holes bragging about, Oh, yeah, oh, we went to Vanuatu, oh, another, we got a cabana. And then my wife starts going, why aren't we, how come we're, you're always working on your, we're never going. So she gets all into that. And then we have to go on these vacations. And it's never a good time and it's expensive and all this stuff. But I realized, I just got a dog about six months ago and she doesn't like to go on vacations because she doesn't like to leave Molly alone. Now it's like, what's Molly doing? And then it's all this speculation. Do you think Molly knows where we're going?

52:20 Drew No, she announced that she does know.

52:22 Adam Molly doesn't think we're coming back and I play into it. No, she thinks we've abandoned her. She's trying to like, OD on some kibble or something right now. We should get back as soon as possible. Now, she doesn't want to go anywhere, which is awesome. That's good. You got a woman who doesn't want to go on vacation, save herself some suras and some money. She's always wondering about the dog, but I was thinking, I told her this and maybe it was a mistake, but she's always wondering, she's always saying to me, who's Molly like more? What about Molly? Who's Molly like more? You scare Molly when you do this and I keep saying, it's a goddamn, it's a dog, it's a dog. She does not think about anything. No, Molly knows about this. I said to her, look, if here's the deal, if you were sitting, here's the deal, if Hitler was on a sofa and you were on the other end of the sofa, okay.

53:21 Drew Molly would treat you both the same.

53:22 Adam No, no, Hitler, Hitler has my severed head under his arm. You're frantically calling Molly's name, but Hitler has a playing card with peanut butter smeared on it. You want to know who Molly's going to?

53:35 Drew Oh yeah.

53:36 Adam Going right over to the dictator.

53:38 Drew Oh yeah.

53:38 Adam My severed head just bleeding all over his life. Going right for Hitler.

53:43 Drew You need to have kids because then that dog will become a dog again.

53:46 Adam Well, see then, I don't want that because then-

53:48 Drew No more vacations though with the kids.

53:50 Dave Attell You can't really leave the kids alone.

53:51 Adam But I'm already working that angle with the dog. It was awesome because we're out here in New York and I was like, well, we're leaving Wednesday. We'll come back Friday. And then when she found out two weeks ago, she's like, well, why are we coming home so early? Why aren't we staying the weekend? Why aren't we doing some shopping? Why aren't we having a good time? Then on the plane out here, I was like, you already miss Molly. And she's like, yeah. And I said, you're glad we're coming home Friday. She's like, yeah, I miss her already. See? See how that works, Drew?

54:16 Drew Awesome.

54:16 Adam All right. Now don't any of you idiots tell her this. If you see or talked or any of that, I don't need any of that crap.

54:20 Drew By the way, we had a weird night tonight with like a ton of celebrity sightings.

54:24 Adam Really?

54:24 Drew Yeah. We'll see. I'm gonna forget. You gotta count me. You, Liam Neeson walked out of our hotel.

54:30 Adam Liam Neeson?

54:31 Drew Williams in our hotel. Wow. Lindsay Lohan tripped in front of our car.

54:36 Adam Cool. Hi. Weird. I saw John Stamos.

54:39 Drew Tonight.

54:40 Caller Oh, wow.

54:40 Adam Yeah.

54:40 Caller Weird.

54:42 Drew What's going on in this town?

54:44 Adam You know, what do you think we're in Baton Rouge? We're in Manhattan, you know what I mean?

54:49 Dave Attell That is a good, that is a good, that is a good, whatchamacallit, like a, you know, grouping of celebrities. Liam Neeson, Lindsay Lohan, you know, Pat Morita, you know, some scientists. You got a bit of a celebrity poker thing going there.

55:02 Adam John Stamos, like what couldn't you get done with those four celebrities? Sitcom, movie, dramatic comedy, it's all covered, buddy. All right, let's take some phone, and then you add David Attell to the list and you're done.

55:16 Drew Huge night.

55:17 Adam It's mad, mad, mad world.

55:18 Dave Attell A non-citing.

55:21 Adam Let's take a call through.

55:22 Drew By the way, that movie.

55:23 Adam Mad, mad, mad world.

55:24 Dave Attell That is a great movie.

55:26 Drew But all television actors.

55:28 Adam Yeah, most, no, there was guys that weren't. Who? Jimmy Durante was in it.

55:33 Drew Okay.

55:34 Adam All right.

55:34 Drew But for a few seconds, though. It was Phil Silver.

55:37 Dave Attell Spencer Tracy, right?

55:38 Adam Spencer Tracy was in.

55:38 Drew Fury again for a few seconds. But the movie was about a bunch of television actors never been in a film before. Think about it.

55:44 Adam Well, probably not. Yeah.

55:45 Dave Attell But it was the poody tang of that generation.

55:48 You.

55:49 Adam That says it right on the poster.

55:51 Dave Attell It sure does.

55:52 Adam How they knew a movie called Poody Tang would come along 45 years later. I'll never know, but it was a ballsy move and they went for it.

55:59 Drew Dick Shawn was in it.

56:01 Caller Dick Shawn.

56:01 Adam I'm coming, mama.

56:03 Caller Yeah. All right.

56:04 Adam Let's take some calls, Drew.

56:05 Drew Lisa, 18.

56:08 Caller Lisa.

56:09 Drew Been on hold about 80 minutes.

56:10 Adam Uh-oh.

56:15 Drew Call her who goes by Lisa.

56:17 All right.

56:20 Adam Let's go to the next call.

56:22 Drew All right. This is Amanda, 23.

56:24 Dave Attell Hi.

56:25 Adam Hey.

56:26 Hi.

56:28 Dave Attell I have a few questions for you. Well, I guess I should tell you a little bit about it first. I've been seeing this guy for about three months now. The first time that we had sex, we used a condom. Afterwards, we were just having pillow talk, and I asked him if he had ever had sex without a condom, and he said, no. I was like, well, we'll have to fix that.

56:49 So, I got on birth control.

56:50 Dave Attell Wow. When I give him head, there's a lot of pre-cum, and I didn't think it would matter, but when we're having sex, it gets really wet, and I don't think I'm feeling as much as I could, because it's so-

57:13 Drew You think that's from what comes out of him?

57:16 Dave Attell Yes. Yeah.

57:17 Caller I think so.

57:17 Adam No.

57:18 Caller I mean, I've never had that before.

57:20 Drew That's you.

57:21 Caller Yeah.

57:22 Adam Really?

57:23 Caller I don't know.

57:23 Dave Attell I'm thinking that maybe it's because he's always had sex with a condom on, and maybe that like helps, I don't know, helps it feel better for him with a condom.

57:32 Caller I don't think it's me.

57:35 Drew You think he's ejaculating?

57:36 Caller Yeah.

57:38 Drew And then continuing to have an intercourse?

57:40 Caller No.

57:40 Dave Attell I think it's just pre-cum, because like when I give him head, I can tell there's like a lot of pre-cum.

57:46 Adam First off, let me tell you something, speaking from experience, a little pre-cum goes a long way.

57:51 Drew In your mouth.

57:53 Caller Everywhere.

57:53 Drew Everywhere.

57:54 Caller Drapery, fabrics, everywhere, Drew.

58:00 Adam Headliners, everywhere. You know what I'm saying?

58:03 Drew A little dab will do you.

58:04 Adam A dab will do you in the neighborhood. So what seems like a relish tray of goo coming out of them is really nothing more than a small half a tablespoon. Oh, if that.

58:16 Drew At the most. If that. And that's not gonna give you such intense lubrication that you're not gonna be able to feel things. It also makes me wonder how the anatomic fit's going on for you two.

58:28 Dave Attell Well, I don't know. He says that it chases him. Like it kind of hurts him. I mean, I don't know. I thought, well, I don't want to have to go back to condoms. You know, I just got on this birth control.

58:39 Drew You didn't answer my question about the anatomy that you two share.

58:43 Adam She's octagonal shaped and she's oblong.

58:46 Drew She's just like a cylinder serve.

58:48 Dave Attell I'm sorry, I can't hear very well from my cell phone.

58:51 Adam OK, well, let's let's try to figure this out. Are you guys boyfriend and girlfriend?

58:56 Yes.

58:57 Adam And you're in love?

58:59 Um, sure.

59:02 Adam What's there's a little something cooking here. What's going on?

59:06 Um, I don't know.

59:09 Dave Attell He works at, um, he's a manager at the same store that I work at. We both work at coffee shops, but he works at a different one. And, um, he just, he comes in every once in a while and we...

59:22 Uh, uh, uh.

59:23 Adam Cool. He's just having a good time. He might not look at you as his girlfriend.

59:27 Well, so am I.

59:29 Drew No, Amanda, you just said you were in love with him.

59:31 Adam Yeah, you're into him.

59:32 Drew You said you were in love, Amanda. What kind of denial is that?

59:35 Adam No, I didn't say that.

59:37 Drew You said that. Yeah, sure. I'm in love with him. He would never say anything like that. He's just having sex.

59:42 Dave Attell Yeah.

59:43 Adam Is he married or something?

59:45 Dave Attell No. No, he has two roommates.

59:50 Adam Uh-huh.

59:52 Dave Attell Uh-huh.

59:53 Caller What?

59:54 Adam All right. But you don't trust him completely, do you?

59:57 Drew It's not her boyfriend.

59:59 Caller I don't what?

1:00:00 Adam You don't trust him completely, do you?

1:00:03 Dave Attell Well, we've only been together for three months.

1:00:05 Drew Wait, what's that to trust? They just hook? She said they hook up when he comes by to examine the coffee house. Wow.

1:00:10 Dave Attell Is that what you call your thing?

1:00:12 Caller No. No. No.

1:00:13 Adam I used to use that code for oral, too.

1:00:17 Caller Hill's brother's buyer. I'd bang on the door. Yeah. All right. I don't.

1:00:25 Adam Listen. What's her name, Drew?

1:00:27 Drew Amanda.

1:00:27 Adam Amanda. You sound a little confused, a little naïve. You sound like you're in a little over your head, and you also sound like maybe you're scared to ask the important questions of this guy. Like, hey, what's up?

1:00:41 Drew They can't even get close. They do not. Do you guys even date?

1:00:44 Yeah. Yeah.

1:00:45 Drew You do date.

1:00:47 Caller Well, we still do.

1:00:48 Yeah.

1:00:49 Adam Yeah. They walked her over to refill the Splenda Hopper one time.

1:00:54 Caller Splenda Hopper.

1:00:55 Dave Attell Yeah.

1:00:56 Adam All right.

1:00:57 Caller No, no.

1:00:58 Adam Here's what you need to do. All right. If you got first thing you need to do is make sure you're committed to this guy, make sure he's committed to you and talk and make sure you're having a relationship. Yeah.

1:01:08 Caller Well, I don't know that I want that.

1:01:09 Caller I mean, I'm just having fun.

1:01:11 Adam No, you're not.

1:01:13 Drew Amanda, please. Who are you kidding? Who are you kidding?

1:01:16 Adam You're having fun because you believe that if you did ask him these questions, you're not going to get the answers that you want.

1:01:22 Drew No.

1:01:23 Adam Yes. Yes. Who are you kidding? Where's your dad?

1:01:26 Caller What did he do to you?

1:01:29 Dave Attell My dad's probably at home sleeping.

1:01:31 Caller Uh-huh.

1:01:33 Adam And at home...

1:01:34 Caller He smokes pot.

1:01:35 Dave Attell He smoked pot my entire life.

1:01:36 Caller He's like a retard.

1:01:39 Caller Yeah, that's great.

1:01:40 Adam He's neglectful. And so you have intimacy problems. Or you never get close to another man.

1:01:45 Drew No, Amanda, that's not...

1:01:46 Adam What's going on?

1:01:47 Drew Hey, that's how it happens.

1:01:48 Adam All right, baby. Look, I know you're laughing the whole thing off, but you have some intimacy issues here.

1:01:54 Drew You're going to have to look into this. You're going to have to look into this. This is not a laughing matter.

1:01:57 Adam And as far as the sex goes, try a little lube or see what... I know already you're lubricating. It's not him, though. It's not his copious amount of pre-comp. Which was the name of my band in high school.

1:02:11 Drew Were you sexually abused, Amanda?

1:02:13 Adam Uh-uh.

1:02:13 Drew At some point?

1:02:14 Dave Attell No, not at all.

1:02:15 Drew You have no abuse, right?

1:02:16 Dave Attell No, my mom was by her stepdad, but not me at all, ever.

1:02:20 Dave Attell That's not really abuse.

1:02:22 Drew But by the way, that mom usually brings in an abusive dad.

1:02:26 Dave Attell Yeah, she had a troubled past, but we're really close. All right.

1:02:30 Dave Attell Can I ask just a question for me? Did you guys ever have sex at work, like since you both kind of work together?

1:02:37 Dave Attell No.

1:02:38 Caller Why not?

1:02:40 Caller Well, he works at another store.

1:02:42 Dave Attell We've never worked together or anything, but he is a manager.

1:02:46 Caller So, I mean, we can't really tell anybody, you know, the manager at another store.

1:02:51 Adam Hey, let me ask you a question. I'm usually pretty good with those tip jars. But then someone got me a gift certificate, one of those credit card type gift certificates, like Starbucks or the coffee, tea bean and leaf sack or whatever. And I realized I never tip when I pull those things out because you hand them the card and they hand them back to you. Yeah. You guys got to hate those things, right? Those cards are so tipping with those things.

1:03:15 Dave Attell No, not really.

1:03:16 Caller I don't see it like that.

1:03:18 Dave Attell I mean, if people tip us, that's cool. If not, I mean, they get the same treatment. You know, I don't.

1:03:23 Adam I know. I know they get the same treat, treatment, but you're bringing home less money, the more of those that get used, right?

1:03:30 Dave Attell Well, we divvy out our tips every week, depending on how many hours you work that week.

1:03:35 Adam Right. And you used to have 500 bucks to divvy up, and now you have 280 bucks to divvy up, is what I'm saying. Thanks for the great answers, by the way.

1:03:44 Drew Here's the point. What she's saying is, it's the difference between getting 350 and 275.

1:03:49 Adam Right.

1:03:50 Drew It's divvied up amongst 50 people.

1:03:51 Adam All right.

1:03:52 Dave Attell Yeah, it doesn't really bother me either way.

1:03:55 Drew It's not a mountain.

1:03:56 Dave Attell I love my job. I love where I work, so I'm just happy either way. People come and go.

1:04:00 Drew All right, good, good, good. Wow. You need to get clear with this guy about what you're doing here, and your fear of what his response might be is what's preventing you from going in deeper, so you gotta do it.

1:04:11 Adam Yeah, the whole manager thing, we always talk about it in terms of managing a restaurant and what just...

1:04:17 Drew Lafayette's is the new version of that.

1:04:18 Adam Yes. Endless cascading.

1:04:20 Dave Attell I worked at a restaurant one time, and my manager had worked at a strip joint before he started working there, so I guess he was used to fooling around with people, and I don't know, he was flirting with me and stuff, and now I have, like we did our thing, you know, and now I have, like, I'm attracted to people in authority, you know.

1:04:43 Drew Amanda, that's not, you already had that problem, that's why you hooked up with the manager at the restaurant. By the way, all managers at restaurants do that, not just the ones that have been at strip clubs, and the fact is, the reason you have that attraction of the authoritarian male is because you didn't have a father.

1:05:02 Adam Let me tell you what I'm going to tell my son. As it stands now, I'm just talking to my dog. But when I have a son, I'm going to say, listen son, you either get a gig where you make some money, or you get a nice pun tang gig, like managing. No, you don't have to do, that's the whole thing, you don't have to do it.

1:05:18 Drew Oh, I see, the restaurant, manage the restaurant.

1:05:19 Adam You manage the restaurant, it's the greatest job ever, because A, you don't have to have to have any brains to manage a restaurant, B, the pay is pretty decent, and C, there's a never-ending flow of hot young hostesses and servers all blowing in, all coming through the door, and they're all counting on you to make their shift for them. Work out the schedule for them.

1:05:41 Drew But you see, a man is a great example about how these guys that go for the women for whom they are responsible, how exploiting them perpetuates their pathology. Yeah. It really cements in their problems. That's why it's so bad for them.

1:05:54 Adam Yeah, and yes, she, whenever Dave, and I know it just sounds like we're Squaresville over here.

1:06:00 Dave Attell No, I'm with you 100 percent.

1:06:02 Adam We've been doing this show long enough to know that whenever we hear Chick go, oh no, I'm just in it for a good time. I'm just having a fun time too. It's just kicks. I mean, I'm horny. I'm using him. Yeah. 99.9 percent of the time, she realizes that if she ever asked him the question, what's up with us? Will you commit? I'm looking for a more stable relationship. He'd be out of there. That's why they don't bring it up. Instead of asking the tough question, of course, the answer is going to be no. They talk themselves into this lifestyle and it's not them. That's her thing. It's like, we're just having a good time. Yeah.

1:06:37 Drew Nonsense.

1:06:38 Adam Right. But where are those chicks?

1:06:40 Dave Attell Yeah, I know.

1:06:41 Adam There's two chicks I missed in my life. I missed that chick who's just, hey baby, I'm just going to nail you twice a week.

1:06:48 Drew The one that beats the hell out of the girl you cheated with.

1:06:50 Adam Yeah. I'll kill her.

1:06:51 Drew Yeah.

1:06:52 Adam Listen, baby, I got a problem.

1:06:53 Dave Attell The fisting one is pretty good too.

1:06:54 Adam The fisting one is that one. I'd like all three of them rolled up into one. One sandwich wrap of a woman. She'd be 800 pounds, but she'd be kicking ass, taking fists, kicking ass and taking fists, yeah.

1:07:08 Dave Attell Dr. Drew, how come it's never like, there's no male version of that. Men aren't really attracted to women in authority. I mean, there's no whatever.

1:07:17 Drew No, you're right. One of the things about men is that they have appetite of response. They drive response to visual stimuli. And women don't really have that. Their drives are activated by other things, psychological issues, intimate dialogue, neat arousals and attractions built on very traumatic histories. And so, that's what triggers their appetite. For men, they see something they like and pow, then they're going after it.

1:07:43 Adam And also, Dave, I think men, contrary to popular belief, we're looking for targets of opportunity. We are like the hyenas in the bushes, we're looking for the gazelle that's injured. We want to pounce. The woman who's running the company, this is potential trouble for us. Let's just nail the hot temp. So much easier. She's in, she's out, she's stupid. She looks the same, except for we can get in her pants. We don't have to deal with it. It's like a shark will go after a fish that's wounded. Much sooner, it's not going after a sword fish, it could get stabbed. You know what I mean? It will if there's nothing else around, but it's in nature, you go after the lame one. You go after the injured one. You go after the weak one. That's why I go after the handicapped.

1:08:33 Drew Right, of course.

1:08:33 Adam I, and physically, mentally, whatever.

1:08:36 Drew Women hate a male that's injured. That's when they're fat. Fooey.

1:08:41 Adam Yeah, they're not into that. Men hang back, look for an easy target and pounce. And if you don't, if you don't believe me, it's like this. Male and the female break up. The woman goes out to a bar, her self-esteem's at all time low, she's feeling pretty down.

1:08:56 Drew Sends up a flag.

1:08:57 Adam Sends up a flag saying, I'm a wounded, you know, little fawn. Somebody help me. Guys start circling like buzzards. Pick right up. Guy, believe me, I spent half my life in this posture. Yeah, you're going out, it's like, oh, man, just had my heart broken. I've been screwed over. It's like, you got this, you got the stink of failure on you, brother. And even chicks who you could have formally picked up not having anything to do with you have the stink of failure on you.

1:09:21 Drew What was that couple you went up to? You said that one time you were horribly shocked.

1:09:26 Adam I had, I was actually, I think Dave, I was out at the Canyon, at the Canyon Club. I was in a cora, I swear to Christ. I was like, David Attell is gonna be performing on Friday night. You can still smell my rejection in that place.

1:09:41 Caller Close your eyes.

1:09:42 Adam I went, so I got dumped by my girlfriend. And you know, I wasn't, I was probably, I don't know, 24, 25. I was swinging a hammer for a living. I was in good shape. I wasn't bad looking. And I had had plenty of attractive women in the past. And I went out there with my buddy, the Wheeze, and his folks were out of town. They had a house up in the hills. So we're like, look, I need a confidence builder. We need to go to this dive in Agora. And we need to get ourselves a few drinks. And let's just scrape up anything that walks into the place. We'll bring them back to your parents' place. We'll have a good time. I'm just, I'm looking for, you know what I mean? I'm like a fighter that has been savagely knocked out. I need a tomato can to pad my record. I need someone I can just walk through. I need a victory, basically. I'm not looking for Roy Jones Jr. I just want a W. And so we go, so we're tooling around the place. And I find a couple of women that look like slugs. Like they're just, they're heavy set. They got hooked noses. They're clearly together. They have no boyfriend. They got nothing cooking. And I say, well, these two will be easy pickings. There's not going to be any great shakes if we get them naked. But what the hell? Let's booze it up and have a good time. And I walk over to them and I'm like, hey, ladies, mind if I sit down? And one of them looked up to me and she said, why? And I thought, wow, I must really stink of failure. Because this would be just chick would have been easy pickings if I had the girlfriend from two weeks ago. No problem. But she sees I'm wounded. She sees I'm desperate. Nah, not going to have nothing to do. I raped her in the parking lot. Funny story. But no, we got nothing and I went home and I really, first off, I want to kill myself because I'm like, wow. Now I've really bottomed out. But but second and look, I'm not trying to be a pig, but as a human being, you know the people you can get and the people you can't get. Sure. And then the people who'd be happy to have you and the ones you'd be happy to have. Let's face it, you go to a bar and you divide up the room. It's like she'd be lucky to have me. I'd be lucky to have her. And then there's a small group in the middle. We'll call it a push.

1:11:51 Caller We'll both be unhappy. That's the way I look at it. Not both satisfied, both miserable. Both feel like we failed.

1:11:58 Drew Both at par.

1:11:59 Adam Yeah, but both at par. It's kissing your sister. It's like tying. But the point is, is when you go up to one of those people who you know, all right, this person would be lucky if I'm talking to them, and they tell you to hit the brakes, that means you got the stink on you.

1:12:12 Drew Well, then that's what women do. They sense that stink of failure and they will have none of it.

1:12:16 Adam Right.

1:12:17 Drew And then there's some guys they present to. And what's that?

1:12:19 Adam I don't know.

1:12:19 Drew What is that?

1:12:20 Adam I don't know. All right, let's take a break. Dave Attell is here in Los Angeles. I should say there in Los Angeles.

1:12:27 Caller We're out here in New York.

1:12:29 Adam He's going to be out in the gore at the club I got dumped in at the Arcadian Club.

1:12:32 Dave Attell Yeah, it's going to be good. I'll do a reenactment in your honor.

1:12:36 Adam Please do.

1:12:37 Dave Attell I'll play with the gore.

1:12:38 Adam He's also going to be in Caesars Tahoe on Saturday the 9th. We'll take a quick break. Be right back after this.

1:12:46 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:12:49 Adam Loveline will be right back. Hey there, buddy. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Dave Attell is here tonight. I realize Dave, Dave's name is sort of like Pia Zadora. You don't really know where one stops and the other one begins.

1:13:23 Dave Attell That's a great analogy.

1:13:25 Adam He is the Pia Zadora of stand up comedy, everybody. I thought her name was Pia Zadora. Yeah, I didn't know it was Pia Zadora. It sounds whenever you hear a name was Pia Zadora. And I thought Dave Attell. I always thought it was Dave Attell. Right.

1:13:45 Drew Dave Attell.

1:13:45 Adam Dave Attell. Yeah. Your parents were idiots for naming you something that ended with a V. Yeah. It could it could have been if they'd named you Rob, it would have been easy. It would have been Rob Attell. That would have worked. But instead, it's Dave Attell.

1:13:59 Dave Attell Well, they they always call me like they would call me David. And I always hate that name because that name is to me is like a real like an adult, you know, like like a lawyer or something, you know, like a dentist. And, you know, I never felt I lived up to the id part of the of the name there. So, yeah, it's a little, you know, quickness to it, you know.

1:14:23 Adam No, it works. And it's nice in the, you know, syllable department. But I think a lot of people think your name is Dave Attell. It's rooted by the word.

1:14:34 Dave Attell Well, there's a lot of, there's a lot of guys. There's, of course, Dave Chappelle, who's great. And then there's Mitch Fattel, who's another guy. So there's a lot of, you know, similar sounding stuff.

1:14:46 Adam Yeah. All right. Well, that's why I'm going with the vicar of Christ.

1:14:50 Drew Because there's nothing, nothing sounds like that.

1:14:52 Adam No.

1:14:52 Dave Attell King of pain.

1:14:53 Drew Heather, 17.

1:14:54 Adam Heather, 17 is on the phone. Heather.

1:14:57 Caller Hi.

1:14:58 Dave Attell What's up?

1:14:59 Caller I was calling because I had a question about, like, because I know how you're talking about how, like, molestation messes up, you know, kids when they're younger and everything, and how it messes up, like, the sexual preferences as they get older, and they tend to like things that are bad for them, as far as relationships and everything. And I was, like, I guess, molested by another little girl. She was only two years older than I am. And I was when I was nine. And but, like, I don't think she really realized what she was doing. I think her father, like, did some really freaky stuff with her.

1:15:30 Caller But, like, yeah.

1:15:32 Drew Well, child and child sexual abuse is pretty common. So what has the consequence been?

1:15:37 Caller Well, other than, like, well, I had, like, a really bad boyfriend when I was younger. I was, I got with him when I was 14 and he was 21. And I stayed with him for two years. Yeah.

1:15:46 Adam Wow.

1:15:48 Caller Yeah.

1:15:48 Drew Where were your parents and all that? Why did they allow that?

1:15:50 Adam It's creepy unless you're from a different country, in which case we can't judge.

1:15:54 Drew But how did your parents allow that?

1:15:56 Caller My mom was an alcoholic growing up and I have a dad and he's actually a really good dad, but he chose to close his eyes and let me go off with my mom. And we spent two years pretty much strung out on crank from the time I was like 12 to the time I was like 15.

1:16:11 Drew You were strung out on a crank?

1:16:13 Caller Yeah. I lived with my mom and my boyfriend and they were both abusive to me.

1:16:18 Drew Heather, this is a full blown catastrophe. Your dad is gone. You may like him.

1:16:24 Caller He's a great guy.

1:16:25 Drew I understand you may like him, but he was gone and you needed him. Your mother was a drug addict. Your boyfriend was a drug addict and a criminal. You're an addict and evidently not in recovery right now. I mean, this is a very seriously disturbed situation.

1:16:37 Caller I am in recovery now after my mom got evicted from her apartment and my boyfriend went to jail. I had no choice but to go back with my dad. And he said the only way I could live with him is if I stopped using drugs. And so I've been in rehab now. So I've been clean like off crank for over a year now. And like I'm still going to therapy and everything.

1:16:56 Drew Well, that's good.

1:16:57 Caller But we don't talk about the sexual aspects of it. And I have because I don't know if it's just weird. I don't I don't like talking about it.

1:17:05 Drew I mean, you know, seven years think, think, think about this. You're 17 now. Think about what kind of a hole the 21 year old is that would be with a 14 year old. And you're not even just think of a hole 18 year old with a 14 year old.

1:17:19 Caller I know.

1:17:20 Drew Think about how big of an a hole that guy is, how seriously he was really messed up in the head. Yes. Seriously sick criminal.

1:17:28 Dave Attell I miss him.

1:17:29 Caller I do.

1:17:30 Dave Attell Do you really?

1:17:32 Caller Yeah.

1:17:32 Dave Attell Is that kind of guy you're looking for again or?

1:17:34 Caller No, no. After I got clean, like I didn't date anybody for over a year. And then I met a really great guy and he's really good to me. And everything.

1:17:42 Drew Oh, good.

1:17:43 Caller I like it's like it really like it makes me feel guilty because I like I in a way like he was really mean to me like dirt. And now this guy's really sweet to me and it's all.

1:17:57 Adam Hold on a second. Anderson, do you catch the S word there?

1:18:01 Drew Anderson.

1:18:03 Adam Anderson's taking a leak right now.

1:18:05 Caller Oh, all right.

1:18:06 Adam Well, what are you going to do?

1:18:07 Caller So when you guys do that, I'm dealing with it and I can't talk to you and deal with it.

1:18:11 Drew Okay.

1:18:12 Adam All right. All right.

1:18:13 Caller So I don't go on sound.

1:18:14 Adam Okay. Couple of thoughts. One is good for you. You're sober.

1:18:19 Drew But the sexual, when you're sex and somebody is kind to you, it exposes you to the shame you've been feeling. At least when people treat you like crap, you can sort of attach yourself to that bad self and then feel sexual. But it's hard for you to feel sexual when you realize that you're disconnected from parts of yourself.

1:18:35 Adam Right. The other part of this is, considering all the, you know, crack abuse and the horrible mothering and dad, I know dad's a great guy, just chose to turn a blind eye to all the abuse you're suffering. To me, it would downgrade him from great guy to good guy. You know, because a great father doesn't turn a blind eye to his daughter's suffering and being sexually and physically abused.

1:19:00 Caller That's just a good dad.

1:19:01 Adam It would downgrade him to good. The other thing is, though, this new guy, he doesn't need to know all the details about this guy burning you with a crack pipe while he filmed you guys in, you know, reverse cowgirl position. That's just going to freak him out. Just let him have... It's like your adolescence and your childhood was taken away from you in a sense. Let the new guy have his. Let him just date a teenage girl and you guys just have a relationship. Meanwhile, you have your therapy to do, you have your recovery to do. That's fine. When you guys get together, see if you can just enjoy each other as 17 year olds enjoy each other. And the abuse that you were asking about with the 11 year old when you were 9, probably the least of your worries in terms of how you function sexually. Right.

1:19:51 Drew The abuse is from mom and from the whole boyfriend.

1:19:54 Adam Yeah. The girl on girl stuff when you're both young and it just happened once or twice. And in your looking at your rap sheet, this is this is you stealing some hard candy.

1:20:06 Drew Right.

1:20:07 Adam Right.

1:20:08 Drew Right.

1:20:08 Adam All right.

1:20:09 Drew Carlyssa 20.

1:20:10 Adam Carlyssa. I guess up Carlyssa. What's happening?

1:20:13 Caller Dave still there?

1:20:14 Adam Yeah.

1:20:14 Dave Attell What's up, honey?

1:20:15 Dave Attell Hey, I saw you guys in Vegas on your last show for the tour.

1:20:20 Dave Attell Oh, cool.

1:20:21 Dave Attell Yeah, it was awesome. I think you stole the show, but it was so great because Mitch and everybody was so cool. They were like, we were all their friends and they were kind of talking to us and joking around. It wasn't really a show. It was more like all of us hanging out, you know?

1:20:34 Dave Attell Yeah, it was a great show and that was the end of the tour. And by the way, I'm going on another live standup tour with the Comedy Central starting April 20th. And you can check the Comedy Central's website for dates, but we're going to end again in Vegas on the 4th of July with me and a couple other comics. So it's going to be a good time again. So thanks very much and thanks for coming to the show.

1:20:58 Dave Attell Yeah, you're welcome. One question, probably the doctor can answer this. Every once in a while I'll have extreme pain while having sex with my long time boyfriend. And it seems like the back of my vaginal canal is like closing in and my cervix, I can feel it really loud or something.

1:21:17 Drew Really loud?

1:21:18 Caller Sure, it makes a noise.

1:21:21 Drew Well, have you ever been checked for endometriosis?

1:21:23 Adam Neighbors would call the cops. Or a girlfriend I had when her cervix would close.

1:21:27 Drew Ever had any been checked for any of these things?

1:21:31 Dave Attell Not recently, no, but I also have IBS and my intestines are kind of messed up too, but.

1:21:39 It's not that.

1:21:40 Drew What's IBS? Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

1:21:43 Dave Attell Oh, OK.

1:21:44 Adam Come on. You haven't learned anything from Kelsey Grammer's wife. And by the way, if my wife was like, look, I got Irritable Bowel Syndrome, all right, I got to educate the world. Sweetie, go up in the room and think about it.

1:21:58 Drew Your diarrhea.

1:21:59 Adam Yeah, we ain't going on a tour while you're leaving a trail all over town.

1:22:03 Drew Diarrhea and stool incontinence.

1:22:05 Adam I need Howard Stern doing 45 minutes on you every morning.

1:22:08 Caller Please get back in the room and take a crap.

1:22:11 Dave Attell No, I know it's a big joke and all, but for me, it's like extreme pain makes me want to die kind of pain.

1:22:16 Caller I don't know if anyone else has that, but...

1:22:21 Drew You talk about when you have sex or from the Irritable Bowel Syndrome?

1:22:24 Dave Attell Both.

1:22:26 Drew All right. Well, were you sexually abused?

1:22:28 Adam Let me say this. Having a vigorous sex with someone who has Irritable Bowel Syndrome is like when you're eating one of those puffer fish.

1:22:36 Caller You've got to be very careful.

1:22:38 Dave Attell It's like a loaded handgun.

1:22:39 Adam Yeah, it could go off. You're not a sexual partner. You're part of the bomb squad.

1:22:44 Dave Attell You need a tarp.

1:22:45 Adam At this point. Yeah, get the robot to have... I get the robot to have sex with her. I just work the robot from behind the shield. I'm going to be behind the van.

1:22:55 Caller Robot's going to have sex with you, sweetie pea.

1:22:57 Adam I don't need any trouble.

1:22:58 Drew Carolla said you have other pelvic pain besides during intercourse?

1:23:02 Dave Attell Um, just what I said before, but something also afterwards.

1:23:09 Dave Attell It hurt for three days.

1:23:10 Dave Attell It hurt to send out my stomach was swollen. It hurt to pee and other stuff.

1:23:16 Adam You want to go... you want to try to feel out the sexual abuse part? Carolla say, any sexual abuse?

1:23:22 Caller No.

1:23:23 Adam No?

1:23:24 Dave Attell No.

1:23:25 Adam No?

1:23:28 Caller Absolutely not, no.

1:23:30 Adam Really?

1:23:31 Drew Why do I not believe that?

1:23:32 Adam I don't believe it either. When did you lose your virginity?

1:23:35 Dave Attell When I was eighteen.

1:23:36 Adam Hmm, hmm. And, uh, where's your dad?

1:23:41 Dave Attell He lived in Northern California. He wasn't, um, uh, around my father. That's what you want to...

1:23:49 Drew How come?

1:23:51 Dave Attell Uh, parents got divorced when I was a kid. He just came down for, like, weekends and stuff out of the year. Great family and everything, but...

1:23:57 Drew Why were they divorced?

1:23:59 Dave Attell Um, he's a drug addict, an alcoholic.

1:24:00 Drew Okay, all right, by the way. Now, drug addicts, alcoholics, you know, sometimes do funky stuff to their kids or have friends that do bad stuff to their kids.

1:24:08 Dave Attell See, he wasn't around enough to even do that. It was, I don't know, um...

1:24:13 Adam Well, he can't come back on the weekends.

1:24:16 Drew You were what? You were what? Very what?

1:24:18 Dave Attell I was a very sexual repressed little girl, though, growing up Christian, so I don't know if that has anything to do with it. Hmm.

1:24:26 Adam Well, there's definitely, you know, growing up, you know, with the fear of God instilled in you and then having a junkie dad who would come around on the weekends and confuse you, is enough to sort of get the stomach acid churning, yeah.

1:24:40 Drew All right, but the.

1:24:42 Adam There's things going on. I mean, here's what we've learned, or at least I've learned from doing the show, that everything sort of everything that affects your stomach and half the things that affect your vagina just sort of come from the antenna up in your skull. Yeah. Yeah. When we talk to people that are having a lot of pelvic pain and a lot of stomach this and a lot of that, usually, usually folks that had, you know, less than a great child.

1:25:06 Drew Or really heavy trauma. What's wrong with trauma?

1:25:08 Adam Yeah.

1:25:09 Drew And trauma does affect the wiring in your brain growing up. There's absolutely no doubt about that.

1:25:12 Adam It's not, it's not to say that it's not pain, but what is pain? I mean, especially the stuff that's happening in your guts, you know?

1:25:20 Drew So, so the irritable bowel syndrome needs its own form of treatment. You need an evaluation to see if you have endometriosis. You're sort of a setup for endometriosis and or ovarian cyst, but recurrent pelvic pain is unexplained, is sort of sexual abuse until proven otherwise. So you might, there may be something more here than you're telling us.

1:25:37 Adam Well, just having a chunky dad is grounds for therapy. Well, what?

1:25:40 Drew Are you going to tell us something more?

1:25:45 Dave Attell How I put this nicely on the radio. I used to masturbate with a hanger, if that maybe something.

1:25:51 Dave Attell Oh, that's, no, that's not that.

1:25:52 Drew How old were you when that started?

1:25:55 Dave Attell When I was a little girl.

1:25:57 Drew Okay, Carlissa, that's a sexual abuse symptom. Really? Somebody did something to you. That is not a normal behavior. Yeah.

1:26:05 Adam No?

1:26:05 Drew Yeah, you need to, yeah, you need to look. Putting things up yourself that normally don't go there is something because somebody else, it's not funny. It's because somebody else did that to you. Somebody did some weird stuff to her early on.

1:26:19 Adam What if two hangers?

1:26:19 Drew And that's where the pelvic pain comes from.

1:26:21 Adam What do you do, how do you, what do you do with that hanger? I mean, how do you do that?

1:26:26 Dave Attell Yeah, what part?

1:26:27 Adam Do you undo it?

1:26:28 Dave Attell I just needed something long to hit the back, I guess, I don't know.

1:26:32 Drew No, no, no, Carlissa, this is very disturbed stuff. Well, this is very disturbed stuff. So this is, and maybe you hurt yourself with some of this stuff too, who knows?

1:26:40 Adam I can picture a mom like walking in and going, we either have a very disturbed daughter or she's locked her keys in her vagina.

1:26:47 Drew Yeah.

1:26:48 Caller It's one or the other.

1:26:51 Adam I would just deny it and go to Keith Wright.

1:26:53 Drew You need to get some treatment over there, this is serious stuff.

1:26:55 Adam Come on, baby, and by the way, who are you talking to when we say something's up with you and you don't tell us about the whole mommy dearest thing with the vagina.

1:27:04 Drew And the drug-addicted dad. I mean, this is really serious stuff, Carlyssa.

1:27:07 Dave Attell My dad wasn't around me. He didn't bring the drugs around me.

1:27:12 Drew But when he was around, when before he left, something happened. You may not remember it, but something happened. Yeah, otherwise. Your behavior is some sort of traumatic, compulsive repetition of that, because that is an completely abnormal behavior for young girls.

1:27:27 Adam Well, therapy, baby, not for us, for you.

1:27:30 Dave Attell No, that's cool, but is it on your thing? It's unnatural for a young girl to masturbate.

1:27:36 Drew With a hanger inside her, that is, that is, what happens is somebody else puts something in you, and that's set up a compulsion to do the same thing over and over.

1:27:43 Adam You want to use something else in a closet, one of those shoe stretchers. Yeah.

1:27:48 Caller That's a different idea.

1:27:49 Drew You weren't masturbating, Carlissa. You weren't masturbating. You were compulsively putting things inside you, and that is a way of trying to master something that somebody else did to you.

1:27:58 Adam All right. Look, here's the point. It can't be normal to do that with a coat hanger. It's obviously aggressive.

1:28:05 Dave Attell Yeah. It's dangerous, right?

1:28:06 Drew Oh, my.

1:28:08 Adam And here's, unless your vagina was in a cast, and you're just getting it in.

1:28:12 Dave Attell Yeah.

1:28:13 Caller Yeah.

1:28:14 Adam Drew, can you put a vagina in a cast? Let's do it.

1:28:18 Caller All right.

1:28:19 Adam Here's the thing. You know, everyone, everyone listens to this show, and it's like, look, somebody calls. I got a little problem with lubrication. You guys got to start off with, where's the dad? And you got to start up with the molestation. Cut her a break. She asked a question, give her an answer. But our answer is not going to help her unless we get to the root of the problem. And we could hear it in her voice, something was up. And then, you know, the first thing is, no, I lost my virginity when I was 18.

1:28:45 Drew No, there's much more here than meets the ear. She may not have been de-virginized as a child, but somebody put, these drug addicts will put things in kids and stuff, do weird stuff, and that's what happened to her.

1:28:55 Adam All right, David Attell, good times, though. David Attell is going to be the Canyon Club over in Agora Hills, everybody.

1:29:02 Dave Attell I think I can top that hanger story, though. That's a rough one.

1:29:06 Adam You just tell the story about me getting dumped over there 15 years previous. And then at Caesars Tahoe this Saturday, the 9th. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:29:22 Caller We'll be right back.

1:29:23 Adam Please hold. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. We're out here in New York City tonight. Dave Attell is over there in Los Angeles. Dave can be found at the Canyon Club in Gora. That's out in Southern California this Friday. And then Saturday, Lake Tahoe. Beautiful. Beautiful. And let me tell you something. I had my bachelor party on Lake Tahoe, and we did the lake, and I did it drunk, and you could do it too, Dave.

1:30:06 Dave Attell I'll do it. I'm going to do it. Take that boat. They have like a jet ski rental or something?

1:30:12 Adam Yeah, yeah. That's a little ambitious, David. Get on the glass bottom boat.

1:30:16 Dave Attell I'll take a look at it. I'll give you that. We'll split the difference.

1:30:19 Adam What happened to the glass bottom boat? And those things used to be around.

1:30:23 Drew Catalina.

1:30:24 Adam There were like everywhere.

1:30:25 Drew There were movies about that.

1:30:26 Adam There would be sitcoms, there would be written into the script, and it's a lot of glass. It would be like worked into Bob Hope, where he would want to see Angie Dickinson under his glass bottom boat or something like that. There's a lot of glass bottom boat here. What happened to it? Dave.

1:30:43 Dave Attell I think it's the pimp my ride thing.

1:30:45 Adam I'm gonna need you to bring back some glass bottom boat. Do they exist? I don't know. It just seems like there's a lawsuit waiting to happen with that glass bottom boat. It seems like a bad idea.

1:30:59 Dave Attell So bring back the glass bottom boat humor.

1:31:01 Adam If you could.

1:31:02 Drew Just bring back the boat.

1:31:03 Adam I like to bring back, talk about that, like some souffle humor.

1:31:07 Drew Souffle, yeah, yeah.

1:31:08 Adam Yeah, that part where act one of the sitcom, the wife's in the kitchen, she's got the souffle, the kids come home from school and slam the kitchen door, she runs to check the souffle, it hasn't fallen yet.

1:31:21 Dave Attell I like that.

1:31:21 Adam That's classic.

1:31:22 Drew And then quicksand. We must have more quicksand.

1:31:24 Adam Quicksand humor would be nice. It's just quicksand in general.

1:31:27 Drew Yeah, more quicksand.

1:31:28 Dave Attell And it's also the mother-in-law jokes. You remember that? Like Alan Kane and all those guys, they'd have all the, oh, my mother-in-law is crazy something. Yeah.

1:31:36 Adam A lot of mother-in-law humor.

1:31:37 Dave Attell It's harder now.

1:31:38 Adam Yeah, yeah, I know. And he used to be able to kid about substance abuse, like, and bewitch, Larry Tate would always say, make mine a double.

1:31:47 Drew Right, yeah. And the most important thing we need to bring back, of course, is amnesia through being hit on the head.

1:31:53 Adam Well, that's what I learned. I learned that from watching 70s sitcoms, which is blunt force head trauma will make you lose your memory. And the only thing that can bring it back is more blunt force head trauma.

1:32:04 Drew Yeah, another hit close head injury, yes. And when you get the amnesia, you'll quickly adopt somebody else's identity.

1:32:11 Adam That can happen too. But the point is, you get hit on the head with a coconut, only a frying pan can bring your memory back.

1:32:17 Drew In fact, there's a movie or a sitcom in it for you and I here.

1:32:22 Yeah.

1:32:24 Drew I wake up as you.

1:32:25 Adam Oh. And I wake up as who?

1:32:28 Drew David Attell.

1:32:29 Adam Okay, fine. Dave, you be Drew.

1:32:31 Dave Attell Okay. Now, you've never seen in the movies where a woman is fondled with a coat hanger and she wakes up in an hour of 10, women or something.

1:32:39 Drew Yeah.

1:32:39 Adam I think there was a scene in Escape to Witch Mountain. Yes. I recall as a youth.

1:32:45 Dave Attell I love that.

1:32:46 Adam Yeah. Where there was or it was either that or the barefoot executive. I got to figure it out. I know it was at Disney. May have been a summer.

1:32:54 Dave Attell It was a Herbie movie, I believe. Herbie the Love Something.

1:32:56 Adam There was a Herbie movie where someone was raped with a coat hanger.

1:32:58 Drew And of course.

1:32:59 Dave Attell I think it was Herbie Goes to Mexico and there was like a horrible coat hanger factory scene.

1:33:03 Adam Herbie Goes to Nogales. I remember that because the coat hanger, Herbie was using the coat hanger as an antenna on his car. But we used to do back, we used to have a million and one uses for coat hangers. We don't really ham anymore.

1:33:14 Dave Attell And then Dora stays like, let me have the hanger for a second.

1:33:17 Drew She's like, bring back the meteor that exposes us to some radiation that makes us giants. Yeah. Superpowers.

1:33:25 Adam Oh, those were the days. Yeah. All right, Drew. Now do we have time for a call? What are we doing?

1:33:29 Drew I think we're done.

1:33:30 Adam No. All right. We'll take another break. Boy, I like to take calls on this show, Drew.

1:33:35 Drew Yeah, I noticed that about you. You're really into the calls.

1:33:38 Adam Dave, what's the long term prognosis for you? You go to Agora on Friday, you go to Tahoe on Saturday, then what?

1:33:48 Dave Attell Then April 20th, I start this Comedy Central live tour and it's going to be basically me in a bus traveling all over, you know, doing theater gigs and you know, I did some TV stuff recently, I shot a pilot, so we'll see what happens with that. But you know, that's all boring. The stand up is where it's at and I'll keep going till July. And like I told that, was I just Oscared there? Did you cut me off? Is that your music?

1:34:15 Adam No, no, that was, we love you doing stand up. I mean, it's a shame to lose someone who can really do stand up like you to a sitcom.

1:34:23 Dave Attell Oh no, don't worry about it, please. I'll be doing stand up, I'll be in a walker going on.

1:34:31 Adam You know how we should really do this? We should go, look, David Attell's amazing stand up comic. We'd all love to see him in a nightclub setting. He wants to do a sitcom for Fox. We know it's going to suck. On the other hand, who could blame Dave for making a few bucks and wanting to have a little retirement money? Let's all pass the hat, give Dave some money. He won't have to do the crappy sitcom. I'm going to put him on stage where he belongs, all right? Put me down for 500. Let's take a, yeah?

1:35:03 Dave Attell No, I was just going to tell you, you know the whole thing with these sitcoms and all that stuff, how like, especially me, I'm a horrible actor, so I went into it really frightened. I was like, oh god, this is going to be really bad. And then it turned out to be a pretty good experience, especially from where I'm coming from. This isn't so bad. There aren't drunk guys trying to puke on me or pick a fight with me, and there's no woman with a beard rubbing up against me. So it was a little different. It was kind of like when you bring your dog into the, he doesn't have to stay in the yard, he gets to come inside. It's like Thanksgiving or something. So that's how I felt. It was a cool experience, but I'll be out on the road until the road says no.

1:35:42 Adam Alright, we're going to take a quick break. Back with David Attell in a minute.

1:36:03 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:36:20 Adam Yeah, everybody, that's the show.

1:36:22 Caller We gotta go.

1:36:22 Adam I want to thank David Tell for coming in. Always a delight, Dave. Sorry.

1:36:26 Dave Attell Thanks a lot, guys. And enjoy New York, by the way. Have fun.

1:36:31 Adam We shall. Until next time, this is the vicar of Christ for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:36:37 Dave Attell I didn't know this was a intervention.

1:36:42 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:36:46 Adam The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, April 6, 2005