Episode 1000702623683

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline. With Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:20 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew in New York City. Yep. All right. That's how you know it's him. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Thrice is in studio tonight. Dustin Riley are here from the band. It's been a good nine months and change since they've been here, Drew.

1:45 Drew That's right.

1:45 Adam You wouldn't recognize the boys.

1:47 Drew Really? They've changed that much.

1:48 Adam Hair short cropped, some facial hair. Totally different. Totally different look for the guys. Tomorrow night, by the way, David Tell is going to be in here, one of the funniest standups currently work in the comedy scene. And I'm not just saying that. You know I don't like standups, right, Drew?

2:09 Drew Oh, I know that. Absolutely. You never compliment a comedian. That's what I mean.

2:13 Adam But David Tell, very funny. And another guy who's very funny, who I'm sad to say passed away over the weekend, is Mitch Hedberg. You guys hip to Mitch Hedberg? Love him. Great standup. Funny. Worked with him. Did a session of Crank Yankers with Mitch. He's did a puppet form. And when you do the crank anchor stuff, you have to just sit in the same room with the guy for like six or eight hours. You really get to know him. But he's a really nice guy and really funny. And really sad that he passed away.

2:44 Drew Really severe heroin addict.

2:46 Adam That's what happens at 37, I think. Drew, do you have any, do you cross paths with him?

2:53 Drew Not that I know of. You know what I mean? I treat a lot of people, I don't realize who they are sometimes. I don't remember treating them.

2:59 Adam No, I don't know. I know. I know you wouldn't.

3:02 Drew Oh, you mean did I slam heroin with him?

3:03 Adam Yeah, yeah. No, no, I meant, I meant, did you, did you, yeah, did you treat him? You don't know if you did.

3:08 Drew I don't think I did.

3:09 Adam But when you heard the story, did it sound familiar?

3:12 Drew Very familiar. People, you got to stand back and remember a heroin addiction is a deadly condition. And it's independent of who has it. It kills people and it's just a sad thing.

3:21 Adam How do you, how do you die technically of heroin addiction?

3:25 Drew You don't die of the heroin. You die of an overdose or you die of an infection or you die of AIDS or kidney failure. The things that are developed as a consequence of the chronic use of the heroin.

3:35 Adam And do we know how Mitch died?

3:37 Drew I think it was overdose.

3:38 Adam Oh, really? All right. Well, very sad, very nice guy, very funny stand up and he'll be missed. Now let's talk about Thrice. You're going to play Coachella in the Warped Tour coming up this year. Going to play something off the CD. You guys are going to go, you guys are going to go cut a record and you're going up to the mountains, like the Ozark Mountains or something. Where are you going?

4:04 Thrice Basically up pretty close to Woodstock and a place called Beresville. It's just out in the woods. You stay at a cabin in the studio is. Yeah.

4:16 Adam Anderson wants the. Hey, Drew.

4:19 Drew Let me guess. Let me guess. Wait, wait, wait. Let me guess. Turn the mics up. Turn the mics up.

4:26 Adam We're just laughing because every single night we have a guest and every single night about 1203 and 11 seconds, Anderson goes, Turn the mics up. But that'll just keep going in perpetuity. But go ahead. I'm sorry.

4:39 Thrice Basically, it's just up in the woods and you walk a hundred feet to the studio and it's really nice. We were there in the winter last time doing our drum tracks and.

4:48 Adam And does it you go there to get away from it all or do you have a connection?

4:54 Thrice It's just I think it's just nice to get out there and not not have to worry about cars driving by every two seconds. Right.

5:01 You're just totally focused on making a record and it's not about being in LA and mixing it up with people here or having distractions of family and friends and stuff.

5:10 Adam So yeah, in a way it's like, you know, and I don't know how long does it take to take a month or six weeks?

5:17 Thrice About six weeks.

5:18 That's how you take us.

5:19 Adam That's like it's like a boxer going into training camp. Can't have his girlfriend, his neighborhood buddies hanging around. You got to go up to Big Bear. Got to get away from it all.

5:28 Run around in the woods.

5:29 Adam Run around in the woods. Go to bed at 830. Get up at the crack of F, start producing, start working.

5:36 Box a cow carcass.

5:38 Adam Hit a carcass, yeah. Swinging carcass. Tenderize those ribs. Yeah, you can't hit a heavy bag, Drew. That's not going to work.

5:45 Drew Only carcass.

5:47 Adam You have to hit flesh. All right. But all right. And Drew, I'm still wanting to be called the Vicar of Christ tonight.

5:54 Drew Oh, tonight again.

5:54 Adam If that's possible.

5:55 Drew Yes, your Vicar is.

5:57 Adam Yeah. Yeah. The Pope is also known as the Vicar of Christ. A lot of people don't know that he's passed away. We got about 12, 13 more days before there's a new Pope, thus a new Vicar of Christ.

6:08 Thrice You're the interim.

6:10 Adam I'm not going to call myself the Pope, but the Vicar of Christ sounds kind of nice. And I said, just for a couple of weeks, you know.

6:17 Isn't he also called the Papal?

6:19 Adam Yeah. He's the Papal or the... No, he's the Pontiff. There's really too many Pope-related names. The Pope, good enough. We don't need the Vicar of Christ and the pompous and the papal and all this. And those are the only ones us idiots know. There's got to be 300 other ones.

6:34 Drew And Anderson, of course, Pontiff is quite appropriate for Adam, who we might say pontificates. Yes.

6:40 Adam Yes. Yeah. You know what I like most about the Pope? He sounded like Count Dracula. Did you ever hear him talk? He really did sound like Dracula. He sounded like Bela Lugosi. It was awesome. All right. Oh, oh, Drew. Yeah.

6:55 Did you hear about the old pope that in the 50s that they're carting him around and he was rotting and his nose fell off? Did you hear about that on talk radio today? Oh, my God.

7:03 Adam No.

7:03 Because they're against science, the Catholic Church. So they said, oh, he'll be cool. We'll just cart him around for a few days. And not so cool. They had the guards on 15 minutes increments because they couldn't take the stench.

7:16 Adam You mean he was dead?

7:17 He was dead. And they're carting him around like they're doing with this guy, with John Paul.

7:20 Drew He's a pope. He's not going to break down, Adam. Don't you understand?

7:23 Well, if he's a saint, he's not supposed to.

7:24 Drew Of course.

7:24 Adam Oh, I see. But John Paul, at least, had a pulse when they were carting him around, right?

7:31 No, no. They're carting him around right now. And he's dead.

7:33 Adam Oh, they're still carting him around?

7:35 Drew Oh, you haven't seen that? You haven't seen that?

7:37 Adam I did see some, like, crowd surfing or something going on. I just thought that was a Pepsi commercial and they made me cross the line. I didn't have the sound up.

7:46 Drew But the point is, in days gone by, they assumed he wouldn't decay because, you know, he's the Pope. And so they carted him around until parts of him fell off.

7:55 Adam Oh, I didn't know that.

7:56 Drew Yeah.

7:57 Adam Well.

7:58 That'd be a cool souvenir to have.

7:59 Adam Really would be. I got one of the Pope's lobes.

8:03 Drew Papal proboscis.

8:05 Adam Yeah. The Pope's lobes would be a decent name for a band. Pretty solid. Yeah, that would work. Oh, so they would cart him around and he just would start decomposing.

8:14 Drew Exactly.

8:15 Adam And then eventually, what? 15 days later, after they hit him with the silver hammer, when would they know to bury him?

8:23 I don't know.

8:24 Adam You know, the thing about, you know, whenever they talk about these cults, like people start, you know, they start making fun of these groups, like the Raelians, who believe that, you know, they're from outer space or some other group that's cloning or these other branch Davidians or something like that. Everyone makes fun of them. Same people that cart around the corpse and the same people that are up on the mountain waiting for the seas to part and the, you know, frogs start raining and the rapture and the second coming. I mean, you really break down Catholicism. It holds its own in the weird department with any of these other new newfangled ones. It's just we're used to it. And I don't think we know all the stuff like carting around the corpse of the pope. All right, Drew.

9:14 Drew Yeah.

9:15 Adam We don't have the computer working just right over here.

9:18 Drew Oh, no.

9:19 Adam Well, that's all right. You know why? Why? Because because producer Anne is on her game.

9:24 Tell her to try and reboot it because we just did it at our end.

9:27 Adam Oh, OK. Try to reboot it, producer Anne. She wrote down the call, so I'm just going to take them in order. So what do you say about that? Joe? Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

9:40 That's how my line is on.

9:41 Adam So I see you're going to do it. So give me a line. Give me line two. Give me Joe.

9:46 Drew Why don't we hear a thrice song? Hello.

9:48 Adam Why don't we hear 10 thrice songs?

9:52 Hello.

9:52 Adam Joe?

9:53 Yeah.

9:54 Adam You're 19. What's up?

9:57 Caller I just want to say, Thrice, DVD, awesome.

10:00 Adam Thanks, man.

10:01 Thank you.

10:02 Caller You know, it's pretty high. My question is about your songwriting process. Your sound kind of like changes drastically from CD to CD. And I was wondering if like you guys change anything in your songwriting style process? Anything?

10:20 Thrice Not really. I think every time we just approach it different and every song gets approached different, too. I mean, there's songs on the record writing right now that came together in a day or two. And it's one we're working on today. We've been messing with for months and months and months.

10:36 Caller I heard the new song, Orangeville. Sounded great.

10:38 Drew Oh, cool.

10:39 Thrice Oh, thanks, man.

10:40 Adam Joe, are you a virgin?

10:42 Caller Uh, no.

10:43 Adam No?

10:43 Drew Oh, oh, please.

10:45 Adam Really? What do you got going? One girlfriend?

10:50 Caller I don't know. Three.

10:53 Adam No, you don't have three girlfriends.

10:55 Caller I don't have three girlfriends now.

10:58 Caller He said had.

10:59 Adam You've had three girlfriends. You're a pinky index and four finger.

11:06 Caller Sure.

11:08 Adam All right, buddy. Are you going through a little dry spell now?

11:11 Caller Yeah.

11:12 Adam OK. Shocking. So what's going on? Junior college?

11:16 Caller Of course.

11:17 Adam All right, buddy. All right. All right. Just just playing some hunches, reading the voice, just reading it. What what junior college are you going to?

11:27 Caller Gavilan.

11:28 Adam Oh, Gavilan. Go Gauchos.

11:32 Caller Gilroy, California.

11:34 Adam Gilroy. Beautiful country out there.

11:36 Drew That's the garlic capital or the, is that the garlic capital?

11:39 Caller Yeah.

11:40 Adam Yeah, they have those festivals.

11:42 Caller Yeah.

11:43 Adam And then they try to, the thing about the festivals is they they're they're all like I'm with them until they get to a certain point where they're they're like yeah, we got garlic chicken. Okay. Garlic potatoes. We got garlic jello. And you're like, no. And then they go, no, it's good. It's good. Yeah, it's good for garlic jello, but it's not good for like orange jello or grape jello or something like that, is it? You know, they got the other stuff. You have to keep going. Like, here's my thing. Whatever festival you're throwing, I don't care if it's pineapple or garlic or whatever you're getting together and throwing, but stick with the stuff it works for. Don't push.

12:16 Drew It's good.

12:18 Adam Yeah, if you're doing like the Parsley Festival, that's fine. Don't push into the ice cream. Just stick with the nice lamb chops and the stuff that works. You know what I mean? Yeah. All right.

12:30 Thrice It's all they got though.

12:32 Adam Let's say, I know they got, I think they got, no, where's the Ant? No, they don't have Anderson split pea soup over there, do they?

12:38 Drew No, it's way south.

12:39 Caller No, I don't think so.

12:41 Adam All right there, brother, man.

12:43 Caller Can I ask one more question?

12:44 Adam Yeah.

12:45 Caller Dustin, is there any truth to you lacking pie? Like a message board form?

12:53 Thrice No.

12:55 Adam You don't like pie?

12:56 Thrice I don't mind pie. But I think the joke is that somewhere in England, they say you like pie if you are heavier than they think you are. So they thought I was heavy.

13:10 Adam Oh, really? You like pie.

13:14 Thrice That's what I'm thinking it is.

13:16 Adam That's clever in a mean way. Now, do they just do it to foreigners?

13:21 Thrice I have no idea.

13:22 Adam They are trying to pull one over on me.

13:23 Thrice I didn't even know there was this thing going on until someone asked me that, do you like pie? I guess so.

13:31 Adam All right. Are we going? Hey, get rid of Joe, would you please?

13:36 Drew Hey, speaking of pie, I'm interested.

13:37 Adam I'd like to build a time machine so we could go back 10 minutes and get rid of Joe.

13:42 Drew I want to follow on, Joe, and talk more about pie. I'm looking for a diabetic. This is for Discovery Health Channel, a diabetic male or female who didn't take good care of their diabetes during adolescence and now have sexual dysfunction in their young adulthood. It's a very common thing for men to have erectile problems.

13:57 Adam What about women?

13:58 Drew I'm interested in talking to women, too, that have difficulty with sexual functioning.

14:03 Adam How does that manifest itself if you have diabetes?

14:06 Drew They might have orgasmic dysfunction and arousal problems, dryness. Yeah. It damages the nerves in the pelvic area. They're very sensitive nerves. And so the things that, you know, that you won't even feel the arousal sometimes, or you can't, the sort of stimulation isn't normal.

14:20 Adam So if you have diabetes, does it go after, what's it go after?

14:24 Drew It goes after blood vessels, particularly tiny blood vessels. And the most delicate vessels in your body amongst them are the ones that feed your nerves. So the first thing you lose is peripheral nerves. They're very dependent on the blood vessel for their survival. And then you lose your kidney and then you lose your heart and brain. And there you go. That's diabetes.

14:41 Adam Then they start passing you around, right?

14:44 Drew And your nose falls off.

14:44 Adam Nose falls off. All right. I don't want that gig, but I do want the hit in the head with the silver hammer to make sure he's dead three times gig. That's a gig I could go for.

14:54 Drew Who does that?

14:56 I don't know.

14:58 Adam Maxwell Silverhammer?

14:59 Yeah.

15:00 Drew Yeah.

15:00 Adam Yeah. Drew. Yeah. Beatles reference everybody. Is that what they were talking about with Maxwell Silverhammer?

15:08 Drew That's what I wonder.

15:09 Adam Interesting. Anyone else know that song?

15:12 Thrice I know the song. I don't know if it references that.

15:14 Adam Engineer Chris?

15:17 Thrice No.

15:18 Adam See? All is still right with the world. Let's talk to Rocky, who's on line six. Engineer Anderson, 22, female. Uses a strap on with her girlfriend.

15:32 Caller That's right.

15:34 Adam Really?

15:35 Caller Yeah. All right.

15:36 Adam So are you full-blown lesbo?

15:39 Caller Oh, yeah. I've been a lesbian all my life.

15:42 Drew As opposed to what, Adam?

15:44 Adam Well, I don't know. Women are so pliable these days, especially young women.

15:48 Drew But the strap on is a commitment, Adam. The strap on is a commitment.

15:51 Adam That's why I went with the full-blown rather than the so-to-speak inquiry. Yeah. All right. And what's the question?

15:58 Caller My question is, my wife and I have been together for two years.

16:03 Adam Nice.

16:05 Caller And two months ago, she actually started having a burning station during sex with the strap on. And we were wondering if that was a latex allergy.

16:16 Adam Well, was there any smoke? You gotta slow down.

16:18 Caller Yeah, it was smoking.

16:19 Adam Really get going. Yeah, dump some water on there.

16:21 Drew Yeah, that's what I mean. I would be...

16:23 Adam Cutting cement with a saw blade.

16:25 Drew Reluctant to jump to a latex allergy right off the top. Obviously, you're introducing a foreign body, and so you can bring bacteria, and that can cause vaginitis. You can get yeast infections, not really know it. And just the irritation, just the actual friction, the actual rubbing can cause irritation and burning.

16:41 Adam How long? But you've been using the same device for some time, right?

16:45 Caller Right.

16:46 Drew How long?

16:47 Caller Oh, I think we bought it right around... Yeah, about 59. Yeah, I'm not that old.

16:56 Adam I could have got a hand me down. I got my strap on from my uncle.

16:59 Caller Two months after our relationship started. So we've had it about a year, a year and 11 months.

17:04 Drew And she's never had any problem with it.

17:07 Adam You got an anniversary coming up.

17:09 Caller Yeah. I'll buy a new one. But like, it's really clean. I keep it very clean and sterile.

17:16 Drew Where is the burning?

17:18 Caller It just all of a sudden started having this reaction to it. And we didn't know if it was maybe the lubricant, if it was the actual device, if it was something else.

17:27 Drew Adam, I'm just imagining this thing sitting in a little blue barbicide container. Yeah.

17:32 Adam Right.

17:33 Drew Yeah.

17:34 Adam Floyd the barber coming in. Look, this thing, first off, you got to change these things. You know, these things are like car tires. You can't just drive on them till you see belt. You know what I mean? I mean, if the veins are worn off the thing, it's time to get a new one. I'm just saying, every couple of years, you got to break down and get yourself a new strap on.

17:56 Drew You haven't told me where she's burning. Where's the problem?

18:00 Caller She's burning inside her vagina.

18:02 Drew Deep inside?

18:04 Caller Is it deep inside there? The hole inside. Yeah, she said the entire inside.

18:08 Drew Has she had a pelvic exam since this all started?

18:11 Caller Yeah, she's had a pelvic exam and it came back. I mean, there's nothing wrong with her.

18:16 Drew Did she report this complaint to the doctor?

18:19 Caller No.

18:20 Drew No, she needs to report the complaint. They may do a different kind of checking if they're looking for specific symptoms. There could be a vaginal...

18:26 Adam You don't have to say strap on though, do you?

18:28 Drew Yeah, just with intercourse, it burns. And I would...

18:30 Adam If she's a lesbian, he's gonna do the math.

18:34 Drew Well, there you go. And, you know, probably they would just give you some vaginal cream, some antibacterial cream, just to see if that would work. Also are you... How old are you, the partner?

18:45 Caller We're both 22. 22.

18:47 Drew And she's on no medication?

18:49 Caller No, she's not on any medication.

18:50 Drew Nothing? No hormones, no nothing?

18:52 Caller She actually just... She stopped her birth control a couple months ago.

18:57 Drew Why is she taking birth control?

18:59 Caller Because she was previously with a man.

19:02 Adam Plus, you can't be too safe with a strap on. True, I know it sounds out there, but I swear I know a chick who got pregnant by the way.

19:08 Drew Well, Adam, they've been having sex for 18 months with a strap on and she's been taking the pills the entire time.

19:14 Adam Like I said, some of those penises are so realistic now, Drew, you can't get them out to anyone at all.

19:19 Drew One of the things that happens if it's a low dose pill or a progesterone, heavy progesterone dose in the pill, you can get vaginal dryness and that can cause irritation. So make sure you use lots of lubricant and go ahead and get off that pill.

19:30 Adam What is she having? She's having sex with a guy? What's going on?

19:33 Drew Right. Exactly.

19:35 Adam What do you mean she's having sex? Quiet down. What do you mean she's having sex with a guy?

19:39 Caller She used to date a male.

19:42 Drew A year and a half ago.

19:44 Caller About two years ago.

19:46 Adam All right.

19:47 Caller We met and we started a relationship.

19:49 Drew Why did she stay on the pill?

19:51 Caller She didn't. She got off of it about six months into our relationship.

19:56 Adam All right. So it's been over a year.

19:57 Caller She takes it for her menstrual cycle.

20:00 Adam OK, there's your answer when we say why she's taking the pill. What what position you do with the strap on? All of them. Chris wants to know all of them. All right. And you're always sporting it. She never sports it.

20:13 Caller No, it's only if on her.

20:16 Adam Yeah. But what about, you know, passing it around? Why do you got to Bogart the strap on?

20:21 Caller Why do I? I don't enjoy penetrated sex. I've never had sex with a male and I don't intend to have anything go up there.

20:28 Adam All right. Except for your uncle Lou, many years ago. Yeah. Oh, boy. What happened, baby? Something happened?

20:35 Caller No, nothing.

20:36 Caller I just, I just don't enjoy it.

20:37 Caller I enjoy other things.

20:39 Adam How do you know you don't enjoy it?

20:41 Caller Uh, many of the times that I've tried it, it's not worked very well. Then it's not enjoyable for me.

20:47 Adam Anything we need to know about you ever molested, anything like that?

20:51 Caller No, not molested.

20:53 Adam Little bit?

20:54 Drew She sounds more, she sounds more, you know, straight lesbian if there is such a term.

21:00 Adam Any physical abuse? Where's your dad?

21:03 Caller My dad lives in Atlanta.

21:06 Uh-huh.

21:07 Adam What happened? How are you doing with him? You love him?

21:10 Caller I love my dad.

21:11 Adam Okay.

21:12 Drew She's straight lesbian. All right.

21:13 Adam We're going.

21:14 Drew We're like the oxymoron though, straight lesbian.

21:16 That's good.

21:18 Adam All right, baby.

21:18 Caller I like it. I'll use it.

21:19 Thank you, guys.

21:20 Adam All right. Go to town. Enjoy.

21:23 Caller Bye.

21:25 Adam Strap-on.

21:27 Drew Hard to decide.

21:29 Adam You know, the thing about a strap-on I never really thought about is if you ever get interrupted, like, you know, it's one thing if you're, like, if you're straight or getting it on with your girlfriend and, like, your stepmom barges in or something, you at least can pull the covers over you or, like, run and throw a robe on or something. Strap-on's going to take you 10 minutes to get out of it. That's like a pilot's ejector seat. It's going to take a couple of guys, got to help you. They got to load the chute in and stuff.

21:53 Drew You need a release valve, some sort of red tag that you pull and the whole thing just falls.

21:58 Adam Strap-on ejection, yeah, just yank on it, poof, then it just blows, it's like a dragster chute. Just pow, sailing out the door. Anderson, would you hang up, please? It's, so you're running, yeah, because you will be running around with this thing on. And if you try to take one off fast, you'd probably strangle yourself. I would probably pay to try to go over my head with it instead of down low. Oh yes, it's happened before.

22:25 Drew And forget, you'd have to get your testes through the thing. It could take all day.

22:30 Adam Yeah, you're right, Drew. Thanks for bringing up my testes. Let's hear a Thrice song, shall we?

22:35 Drew Anytime, buddy.

22:37 Adam All right, all right, yeah, why not? I know we're running a little bit late, but why not? Well, that's why I like to live on the edge, all right? That's why they call me the vicar of Christ, everybody. First song we're going to play from Thrice is a little something called Stare at the Sun.

23:29 Yes, I am.

26:32 Adam Hey, everybody.

26:33 Yeah, Loveline.

26:35 Adam Justin Riley here from Thrice. We will take ourselves a quick break. Nice song, by the way. We'll take ourselves a quick break. Dr. Drew over there in New York City. We'll try to get our computer figured out, but if not, I think we're doing fine with producer Ann and our little sheet of paper. We'll take a quick break. Be right back after this.

26:55 1-800-LOVE-191.

26:58 Adam Loveline will be right back. There, buddy, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew in New York City. Thrice in studio tonight.

27:30 Drew Drew. I knew you were saying you'll be joining me tomorrow night.

27:32 Adam I shall, yes, thank Christ. Cars pick me up at 6 a.m. tomorrow. Oh. Yeah.

27:38 Drew What's up, Vicka?

27:39 Adam Yeah, the Vicka Christ coming to New York. The artist in the ambulance is the name of the CD. And by the way, Thrice has already gone gold on their DVD just in pre-sales. How does that work? Is it out yet?

27:55 Thrice It's out.

27:56 Adam Now it's out.

27:57 But it went gold before it came out?

27:59 Thrice I think they judge it on what they ship out the first shipment.

28:02 Adam Oh, really?

28:03 Thrice Yeah.

28:03 Adam That's nice. Is that through your website?

28:08 Thrice Through Tower, I think. They do pre-sales.

28:12 Adam But as far as we're getting words out to the fans that the DVD is coming out, what's the most effective way to do that? If it's pre-before it came out. You know what I'm saying?

28:23 Thrice But it's not now. You're saying, do it on the website, and then I think Tower just facilitates it. Really?

28:30 Adam Wow. That's a nice tip of the hat from the Thrice fans going gold before. What do you have to do? Is gold DVD the same as gold in the record department?

28:39 Thrice It's a tenth of it.

28:41 Adam Oh, really? Why?

28:43 Thrice Because nobody sells that many DVDs.

28:45 Adam Oh, they just go by what the, they just pick, there's like an average and then that's what they do, right?

28:50 Thrice Yeah, I think, and gold, like for anything changes over time. Like the record industry doesn't sell half as many records as it used to.

28:57 Adam Oh, really? So gold has changed?

28:58 Thrice Gold, I think, I think gold used to be a million and now it's half that, so.

29:02 Adam Well, I know it's like different in Canada where they have a smaller populace and that kind of stuff, but I didn't know they changed it. Drew, were you aware of that?

29:10 Drew Not at all. I didn't know.

29:12 Adam I don't know. Hey, Chris.

29:15 Thrice Nick doesn't know anything.

29:16 Adam Hop on that computer there, buddy.

29:17 Thrice Okay.

29:18 Adam Now, here's the question. What is gold now? I thought gold was 500,000 and platinum was a million. What was it, 500,000 in 1975?

29:32 Thrice I don't think it was.

29:33 Yeah, I think it was.

29:34 Adam Yeah, I know, but that's why you have the computer.

29:36 Drew You don't have to think.

29:38 All right, man, I want it.

29:39 Adam All right, I think it was 500 and it is 500, but let's find out. All right, Drew.

29:46 Drew Yep.

29:46 Adam Who do you want to speak to? Do the hookers in Tijuana get tested? Guy, vaginas dry? Oh, that's a girl. Long-term problems with use of 500 tabs a year. Oh, X.

30:03 Drew Dry vagina.

30:04 Adam Dry vagina?

30:05 Drew Yeah.

30:05 Adam Dry vagina? Give me dry vagina. Do you ever think this would, your career would go this direction, where you'd just go and dry vagina into a microphone?

30:13 Drew My life would come to this.

30:15 Adam Boyfriend of three years once, really kinky sex. And I want to go, I want to go quick hooker talk. Go to line one, Anderson. Thank you. John, 28, what's up?

30:26 Caller Hey.

30:27 Adam Hey.

30:29 Caller I've got a Germany or Florida.

30:31 Adam Oh, I thought you had a hooker's question.

30:35 Caller No, I'm Keith and I'm 14. Was there a link to grow up?

30:39 Adam Yeah, that's all right.

30:40 Drew What's up, Vicka?

30:43 All right.

30:44 Adam You're Keith and you're 14. Yeah. Go give us a Germany or Florida. Go ahead.

30:49 Caller Okay.

30:49 Caller And a legend 17 year old offers his, quote, young man's virginity, quote, for 10. It attracts a phony 10 million offer, but when it is alerted.

31:01 Adam Hold on. Hold on, Keith. And as a speech and a legend 17 year old.

31:06 Caller Yeah.

31:07 Adam Offers his virginity.

31:09 Caller Yeah.

31:10 Adam On the Internet.

31:11 Caller Yeah.

31:12 Drew Like eBay.

31:14 Adam He's going to sell his virginity to a male.

31:17 Caller It does not say.

31:19 Adam All right.

31:20 Drew I didn't anticipate that, but that's in fact what, of course, that's who's bidding.

31:23 Caller Right. Right.

31:25 Adam So go ahead.

31:26 Caller All right. It attracts a phony 10 million offer, but after a complaint, it is yanked from the listing.

31:34 Adam No. Is this Germany or Florida? That's the question. Okay.

31:40 Thrice Is it a riddle?

31:40 Adam Keith, are you on the line?

31:41 Thrice I'm so lost.

31:43 Adam All right. Here's what we have to guess. Oh, this is horrible. Is it Germany or Florida? Where did this story come from? Drew?

31:52 Drew Germany.

31:53 Adam Drew, you say Germany?

31:56 Drew Yeah, I do. Just on an impulse. On a whim. It could be there's nothing in this to lead us one way or the other, but just go Germany. All right.

32:02 Adam Dustin?

32:02 Thrice I'll say Florida.

32:03 Caller Florida. Riley? I will go with Germany.

32:07 Adam Germany.

32:08 Caller Wow.

32:11 Adam I'm going to go with Dustin. Go Florida on this way. Two Germanys and a Florida?

32:15 Drew To split.

32:16 Adam All right. Keith, what is it?

32:18 Caller The Vicar is correct. It is Florida.

32:22 Adam Now that I've got on my side, I can't lose. All right, Keith.

32:27 Drew Thank you.

32:28 Adam We're going to.

32:28 Okay.

32:31 Adam Over and under on Keith losing his virginity. He's 14 now.

32:34 Drew Four years.

32:35 Adam Four years? Very, very generous of you, Drew. Yes. Over and under was going to be 27, by the way. Not 18. All right. Let's try. Let's see.

32:48 Thrice Do people call with riddles a lot?

32:51 Adam Well, they call with a little something we call Germany or Florida, which is, yeah, they give us the bizarre question and then we guess. It dawned on us over at Jimmy Kimmel Live, after scouring the papers and the Internet for bizarre stories. There's one of two places or two places in the world they come from. It's either Germany or Florida and just decide to turn it into, you know, one of the hottest games in the United States, Germany versus Florida. All right, Anderson, let's go line four and speak to Jason. He may have a dry vagina as well. Jason?

33:29 Caller Yes.

33:30 Adam You're 19?

33:31 Caller Yes, sir. My question is for Drew. I've been doing Ecstasy for probably a year and a half and I've probably taken over 600 pills. I'm just wondering what the long-term effects of that really are. I've heard a lot of diverse stuff about it.

33:48 Drew Well, I see it all the time and so it's something very, very predictable. Have you started isolating a little bit, not wanting to socialize so much lately?

33:57 Caller I can relate with that, yeah.

34:00 Drew That's usually the first symptom. What starts happening is somebody who's very, very social will begin wanting to spend time at home and isolating. Then they will start having little panic attacks, little anxiety, nonspecific kinds of anxiousness. Then they'll start having difficulty going outside without having panic attacks and then fall into a severe depression. These depressions are lifelong. So it is due to a very severe limbic injury that occurs. Even 20 hits of ecstasy can do this. What's limbic?

34:29 Adam Is that the nuts?

34:30 Drew The emotional system, the part of the brain that's responsible for emotions. And so you really have to fight fire with fire with this one. You've got to get on more oncology, some medication to try to restore some of that biology. Because those cells, it's like a gunshot wound to that part of your brain. Those cells just don't exist anymore.

34:49 Adam Really?

34:50 Drew Yeah.

34:51 Adam But good times, you know.

34:52 Thrice I just find it strange that this far after X has been being used that people don't really know the long-term effects.

34:59 Drew Right. Because there are those websites out there that claim, oh, it's no big deal. It's not controversial. The thing about drugs, illicit drugs, anyone that works in the field where you're seeing the consequences, it's not a mystery. It's very obvious what these things do. And X is one of those drugs where it's highly, highly predictable.

35:15 Adam Well, let me say this, Drew. First, it seems like X has slowed down a little. Not as hot as it was five years ago.

35:23 Drew Totally agree. On college, it used to be a big deal. Now, I rarely hear about it.

35:27 Adam Which means it's at an all-time low price-wise in time for the vicar to score.

35:32 Caller See, that's what I do.

35:34 Adam I wait to the market dips, and then I buy, buy, buy, buy, and then as it jumps back up, I sell. I buy low, I sell high. And that's how I support my habit. But here's the thing, Drew, I would, and I know you have a problem with this kind of talk, but I would also argue that folks that see fit to do 500 hits of acid or axe or whatever by the age of 19 are probably prone to some depression anyway.

36:03 Drew Well, understandably, but sometimes it's part of exuberance. They're just partying and they're doing sort of almost manic types of things and you could argue that would be a risk for bipolarity.

36:15 Adam To put it in just layman's terms, you just sort of burn out your fun center.

36:22 Drew That is a great way of describing. I'm going to use that from now on. But the fact is, it's such a...

36:26 Adam Hold on, I burnt out my fun center once when I had a travel mug of hot coffee between my legs and hit a speed bump.

36:34 Drew That's just from masturbating so much.

36:35 Adam Yeah.

36:36 Drew But the fact is that the syndrome associated with having access to use is so predictable. This business have become isolating and then become agoraphobic and then falling into this severe depression. It suggests that something very specific is going on.

36:50 Adam All right. So here's the deal. If you've abused X or you've abused acid, right Drew?

36:59 Drew Those are the two, yeah.

37:00 Adam Those are the two. You can't just sort of shake it off at this point. You have to go in and you have to go. You've essentially depleted yourself of something or burnt something out. And now you have to go have it put back in.

37:14 Drew Or support it. Yeah. It's like if you broke your leg repeatedly. Well, now you got to wear a brace. That's it.

37:20 Adam Right. Well, I was going to say more like you had some sort of thyroid problem and so you shut down a gland and now you had to take pills to replace what the gland was producing.

37:31 Drew All right.

37:32 Adam Yeah.

37:32 Drew Good. Yeah.

37:33 Adam Maybe better than yours. Maybe a little.

37:36 Drew You're a vicar now.

37:37 Adam Thank you. The vicar of Christ here. Uh-oh. What's up, vicar? I'm looking at engineer Chris. He doesn't look like he's got an answer on his face.

37:46 What's up, man? Yeah, I do.

37:47 Adam You do?

37:47 Drew Yeah.

37:48 All right. In 1975, a gold album has been awarded 500,000 albums. The Platinum Album Award was added in 1976 for one million.

37:56 Drew All right.

37:57 Adam And it's still 500,000 and one million today.

38:00 Yeah.

38:00 Adam All right. Well, there you go.

38:02 Drew I hear you.

38:02 Adam All right.

38:04 Thank you.

38:06 Adam You're quite welcome. Thrice in studio tonight.

38:09 Drew Does the vicar applaud for other people? Do you just hold them in your hand to kiss?

38:14 Adam I do, but I couldn't make it to him. And I don't know, he wears that funky chapstick. I don't want to get any on my papal ring.

38:22 Drew Of course.

38:22 Adam We'll take ourselves a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew in New York City. Did I call myself Adam, Drew?

38:56 Drew I, maybe, and not your Vickerness? I'm confused, who are you?

39:00 Adam Yeah.

39:01 Drew What's up, Vicka?

39:02 Adam I'm the Vicka of Christ, that's who I am. Dustin and Riley, both here tonight from Thrice.

39:07 Drew Hello.

39:08 Adam They can be the Vicka of Thrice. We will hear a little something else off of the Artisan Ambulance CD before the night is true. And guess who's computer is up and running now, Drew? Yeah.

39:21 Drew How did you manage?

39:23 Adam Well, Chris is going to want to take credit for rebooting the thing. But, you know, when you're the Vicka, you just sort of lay your hands upon the monitor and pow. You understand?

39:34 Drew Yeah.

39:34 Caller Lauren seems to think that she hit it and that made the difference.

39:37 Adam Oh, Lauren could have done it as well. But again, let's not rule out the Vicka. That's a good sitcom name.

39:44 Caller Don't rule out the Vicka.

39:46 Drew Just rule out the Vicka. I've got a couple of things. One, I'm still looking for a particular male diabetic who didn't take care of his diabetes in adolescence and may now be having erectile problems. And secondly, people who tried things in the bedroom that they were afraid to bring up with their partner and it ended up being a good thing. And that's a hard one to sell. I don't know. It's a hard one to sell.

40:06 Adam Well, you're not doing a good job of selling.

40:08 Drew Basically, it's like you had some secret you wanted to try and you finally told your partner. Like our friend with the barbicide and the strap on. Maybe let's say she was harboring a desire to do that for a while and then finally confided in her partner and they did it and it turned out to be a good thing and now they do it all the time and then the male diabetic. And the other thing, Adam, I was weaving my way through the CBS catacombs here. You know, the coffee is over by the CBS News, you know, where Dan Rather sits.

40:31 Adam Yeah, so Drew's in New York and he's at CBS in Manhattan and you go down the hallways there and it's a walk through time. And all the pictures of the old news anchors and all the situations. Yeah, go ahead, Drew.

40:47 Drew And I had kind of a mushroom moment where I was looking down these huge long halls going, the human harnesses mineral energy and steel and creates these miles of internal caverns. Is it really that different than what ants do and what bees do? I mean, you look at Manhattan, it's just miles and miles of these internal catacombs.

41:08 Adam Yeah, yeah.

41:10 Drew Are we really that advanced?

41:11 Adam No, we're like living in Uncle Milti's ant farm. I believe, by the way, there's a giant version of us who's looking at us much like a child in this ant farm just laughing.

41:23 Well done.

41:24 Adam That's heavy. And let me tell you, the vicar knows firsthand because he's traveled. He's traveled and seen that man. Yeah, who knows? It could be like Horton hears a who, Drew. We could just be a little dust speck and there could be a whole other world that we're just floating around and wow, heavy. I don't see any reason to continue the show, by the way.

41:47 Drew Do you?

41:48 Adam I mean, so Thrice sells a couple of more records. We get a couple of bucks. What's it all mean? You know what I'm saying? We're just rats in a long maze built by the man.

42:01 Drew We're just ants in this giant farm.

42:03 Adam Yeah, man. And you know what? We have names for the ones in nature like Worker and Drone. But man, we don't have names for ourselves, you know?

42:14 Drew Yeah, we have like Keshir.

42:15 Adam We go by Doug and Rick and Frank and Sue and Steve, but we should really be going by Drone, too. You know what I mean? You're the vicar. Yeah. Especially the guys like Don and Doug, who already names start with a D. You know, if your name is Aaron, Drone's going to be a little bumpy, but Doug would be a pretty easy transition.

42:32 Drew And what are we going to do with the Todds?

42:35 Adam Todds, they're gone.

42:36 Drew Yeah.

42:37 Adam Yeah. We'll just hack them up and feed them to the queen. Know what I'm saying, man?

42:42 Drew Yeah, dude.

42:43 Adam All right, man. Wow. It's heavy, though, isn't it? All right. Let's keep going. You know why? Because we got to help. That's the thing. That's the thing.

42:55 Drew We got to make a difference. That's all that matters. Get right down to all these catacombs and all this heaviness.

43:00 Adam Being in relationships and helping and providing a service.

43:03 Drew Thank you.

43:04 Adam Thank you. And let me say this. Speaking of just nature and ants and all that, Drew, you've been out of town for a day or so. It's hot out here now. And it's game on with the insects. I mean, everything. I just, here's the thing. It rained and rained and rained. The wind blew. It was cold and everything. And it was like you were living on a planet that didn't have any other species other than humans, cats, dogs, and crows. Now it's game on. Like, it's hot outside now. And I was just looking out at the porch light for a left and there's stuff buzzing around. It's a tornado, a chunk going. And it's just as if everything is just being put on hold and being like watered and fertilized and nurtured. And now it's been hot. It dried up for a couple of days. Everything's out in full effect. All the weird little critters are buzzing around. They seem like spiders running around in the house. It's game on with the ants.

43:56 Thrice I have a flyswatter that looks like a tennis racket that electrocutes things.

43:59 Drew Oh, we got one of those.

44:00 Thrice It's awesome.

44:01 Drew Yes, they're great.

44:01 Adam I hear they're good.

44:03 Thrice You hit it and this big blue spark goes.

44:06 Adam Oh, gratifying.

44:07 Thrice Yeah. It works so well that I ran out of bugs to hit.

44:10 Adam Oh, really? Start going after the old lady. Sure. What are you going to do? You got to get your use out of it. The batteries will go dead. I want to get one of those. What is that? One of those sharper image shots?

44:21 Drew Yeah.

44:22 Thrice No, it's really made out of yellow plastic, the one I have.

44:26 Drew No, but I think you get them at the Brookstone or something.

44:29 Adam Oh, really? I'm going to get one of those things.

44:31 Thrice I think they had anything there that wasn't like black leather and metal.

44:35 Adam So you don't smash the fly.

44:37 Thrice You hit it in the air and you wave at them. These little metal wires come together.

44:43 Drew You wave and they explode.

44:45 Adam Really?

44:45 Thrice It's good.

44:46 Drew Yeah.

44:46 Adam I got to get into that because I got stuff flying all over the place. I got ants going everywhere and I got everything going everywhere.

44:53 Caller It's a lot of fun.

44:54 Adam You know, the thing, as I was thinking about it, some of these weird, stupid things, but they say don't get white carpet or light colored carpet because it just gets stained and gets whatever. But if you got a carpet that's busy and dark and you're trying to get a spider off the ceiling and it falls down and lands on the carpet, it's gone. It's dust in the wind and it's just going to end up humping you in bed later on that night. You got a light colored carpet, you know, the dog drags its ass on it, you know it, but you do find the spider. Insects, they can't make it when you got a white carpet. That's smart. That's what I'm going with, Drew. White carpet. And you know what? It's classy. People know the vicar's classy when they see his white carpet.

45:42 Drew You and the dog have been dragging your ass on the carpet.

45:44 Adam Let's see. I wish I could. I would do that.

45:47 Drew I know you would. I know. I know.

45:50 Adam It was farting on the dog today. That's one of those things that women get angry about. They're really angry.

45:57 Caller What are you doing?

45:58 Adam It's like the dog doesn't know what's going on.

46:00 Caller She does. Look at her.

46:02 Adam She knows. Look at her. She's wagging her tail. She'd fart if she could.

46:07 No, stop it.

46:08 Adam No, no, no. It's just come in and save the dog because I wasn't farting on the dog. I was sort of like wrestling with the dog and I was kind of on it. I had it pinned and just started farting. I was in that prone position when you're on your knees and you're kind of down.

46:27 Thrice You don't have to justify it.

46:29 Adam You know what I'm saying. The dog does not know when you're farting on it or if it does, probably respects it or enjoys it. They love it. They love it. They're begging. They love it. She was begging for it and the wife's like in the next room and is like, come here, come here, mom.

46:45 Caller What was that?

46:46 Adam What was? So first, let's try to blame it on the dog. Unfortunately, dogs don't really make any sound. They just smell real bad. So they don't hear, you know, the sound is a giveaway. It's human ass that's that's knocked that one out. And then I let another one fly and then she ran in to actually save the dog in some form of abuse and then caught wind of it too. And then it really got ugly. All right, let's take a little break. Thrice in studio tonight.

47:12 Drew Very informative segment we just completed by the way.

47:14 Adam A lot of talk, farting, a lot of fickers.

47:16 Drew Lots of calls, lots of calls.

47:17 Adam Light colored carpet, the advantage of light colored carpet. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

47:41 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

48:01 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew.

48:05 Drew Hey, buddy.

48:05 Adam Dr. Riley are here. Hey, the Vicar here. The Vicar of Christ. And Dr. Drew, also Thrice.

48:11 Drew What's up, Vicar?

48:12 Adam Here tonight, we'll hear something else off the Thrice CD before the night is true, possibly in this segment. We should speak to...

48:23 Drew Still looking for that diabetic male who didn't take care of his diabetes, now having erectile problems. And or diabetic females have had interesting problems too.

48:31 Adam Drew, why don't you get a website or something and get... do your pimp in that way?

48:35 Drew That's a good idea.

48:36 Adam All right, do that. Nigel?

48:40 Yes?

48:41 Adam You're 20?

48:43 Caller Yeah, I am.

48:44 Adam What's up?

48:46 Well, my mom abused me severely when I was a kid, like physical and emotional, as well as, you know, traumatized my siblings and everything, which, to say the least, has an effect on me as well.

49:03 Adam What'd she do? What was the worst thing she did to you?

49:06 She stabbed me repeatedly with a scalpel before the age of two.

49:10 Adam Before the age of two?

49:12 Drew Quaint.

49:13 Adam Repeatedly with a scalpel?

49:16 Yes.

49:16 Adam Where did she get a scalpel?

49:19 She was into the rock.

49:22 Adam Oh, really?

49:23 Yeah. Into the what?

49:25 Adam Into the rock. She used a scalpel to cut up rock cocaine?

49:29 Drew Uh-oh.

49:30 Adam Okay. See? I did the scalpel man.

49:33 She was an RN.

49:36 Adam Oh, well that's where she got a scalpel. Yeah. Okay. It always takes a little while, but we could do it eventually. And she stabbed you repeatedly? Yeah.

49:46 A total of three times according to my father. All right.

49:49 Drew So what's going on now?

49:52 Anyway, I wanted to know with my coming marriage and everything, how is this like psychologically going to affect you?

49:58 Drew Come on. Don't be such a pussy.

50:00 Adam Oh, Drew, please. How is this going to affect you having a horrible mother?

50:05 Yeah. My relationships with women and everything.

50:07 Adam That's not going to be good.

50:10 Drew Don't you already have a track record of trouble?

50:15 I was told by female teachers, apparently, they think I disrespect women, but I don't see it. But then again, that might be part of the traumatization.

50:24 Adam Yeah. Well, here's the thing, Nigel, you sound angry, but rightfully so. Right. Your mom sounds like a disaster. Has she gotten herself cleaned up?

50:37 Caller Not quite. A couple of years back, I tried to reestablish contact with her. I was born again Christian, trying to forgive every one thing.

50:49 Drew You were born again Christian?

50:51 Caller Yeah.

50:52 Drew Are you an addict yourself?

50:54 Caller No, actually, I've never even smoked pot.

50:56 Drew Okay, good.

50:57 Adam We'd like to speak to the Vicar of Christ, by the way. This must be a thrill for you.

51:02 Drew Here's the thing, Nigel, is that the manifestations of this are protein. It's very difficult to predict precisely how it's going to affect you. The kinds of things that we can predict are, is you're going to have difficulty regulating your emotions. That's one of the things that's for sure. Secondly, you're going to either, you're going to have a tendency to either pick people who are abusers, or yourself become the abuser in a relationship. That's going to be the basic paradigm.

51:27 Adam The born-again stuff is nice, you know, kind of keeps you in check, but I don't know if it does much to cure the problem. A little therapy would probably, or actually a metric ton of therapy would probably be just what the doctor ordered, but the born-again stuff will kind of keep you in line at least.

51:46 Drew It's helpful, it really is helpful.

51:48 Caller It did quite work out. She ended up running me over after I tried to reestablish contact.

51:52 Drew With a car?

51:54 Adam Scalpel. She used a scalpel for everything. She tried to run you over with a car?

51:58 Drew With Corolla, interestingly.

51:59 Caller With your namesake, Vickers.

52:01 Adam Oh, really?

52:02 Caller Yeah, Corolla.

52:04 Adam Which I'm not happy about, but it is, it's got a peppy 4-cylinder, 2.4 liter in there. Single overhead cam engine. I mean, you know, it's not a race car, but it moves nicely. Did she hit you?

52:17 Caller Yes, broke two of my ribs.

52:19 Adam Broke two of your ribs? Why, pardon me for laughing, but why did she try to run you over?

52:29 Caller Apparently, she thought I was complete failure and didn't deserve to live, is what she told me.

52:35 Drew Wow, she's a mess.

52:37 Adam But there's also, there's some pieces missing, yes?

52:41 Drew Yes, I mean, she must be severely mentally ill, like schizophrenic or something more than just the usual Loveline caller mom.

52:49 Adam Right, but there's also little bits and pieces that Nigel's probably leaving out of this.

52:53 Drew In terms of what he might have done to evoke, to provoke her into that kind of behavior, yes.

52:58 Adam He didn't show up with a dozen roses.

53:00 Thrice Maybe stuff he doesn't even realize.

53:02 Adam Chased him in a parking lot with the Corolla. By the way, I blame the Toyota Corolla for everyone misspelling my name. My name is C-A-R-O-L-L-A and it's now C-O-R in every official document, every website, it's C-O-R, I'm just going to go ahead and change it. I don't, I feel that C-O-R is less attractive in the spelling department than C-A-R. If you picture it in your mind's eye, C-A-R is a much nicer looking name than C-O-R.

53:30 Drew And strangely it's the car that made that transition.

53:35 Adam Yeah, what, the car what?

53:37 Drew It's the car that made the transition to the C-O-R. You would think that the car would have been respectful of the C-A-R.

53:44 Adam Yeah, yeah, it's got car, it would have car right in the front of it. Yeah, why would they do that? All right, anyway, let's talk to Nigel. So Nigel, you went over there to just sort of, you know, hash things out with her and she chased you around in the Corolla.

54:02 Caller Well, I hung out with her for about a week.

54:06 Drew Here we go.

54:07 Caller I was staying at a hotel in the area, but I didn't like the fact that she was, you know, bringing random guys around.

54:16 Drew Here we go.

54:17 Caller A lot of them were, I actually witnessed a couple of them molesting my little sisters and she didn't see the problem with it.

54:25 Drew Bogus.

54:26 Adam Yeah. Now we're not, now we're going bogus. Yeah. Why are we going bogus, Drew?

54:31 Drew Because molesters don't do things that are witnessed and siblings or relatives don't not call the police when that kind of thing happens.

54:40 Caller I did call the police, actually.

54:42 Adam You did?

54:42 Caller Yes.

54:43 Adam And what did they do?

54:45 Caller The guy's currently serving 15 years. In Quallum Bay.

54:50 Caller Hmm.

54:52 Adam That was a good answer. Convenient. All right. All right. So, uh, so Nigel. Here's the thing. Never has a guy sounded less like a Nigel than you, by the way. And especially with White Trash Mom. It just doesn't work.

55:07 Drew This whole thing is not computing.

55:08 Caller The guy from Duran Duran.

55:10 Drew It's not computing.

55:11 Adam It's not. It's not. All right. Hold on a second. Drew.

55:15 Drew It's not computing.

55:16 Adam It's feeling bogus for you.

55:18 Drew Yeah. It just does not compute.

55:20 Adam But it's chocked full of specific information.

55:24 Drew Yep. Yep.

55:25 Adam But it's not holding together.

55:28 Drew It just doesn't compute. Yeah. Well, we got it. But it's so serious. It's one of these things where he is playing unfairly because he's described such a profoundly disturbed situation. We have to take it seriously.

55:39 Adam But here's my humble take on this. And again, you know, I'm nobody. I'm just the vicar of Christ. Okay.

55:49 Drew Okay.

55:50 Adam All right. So hear me out. I feel like in, I don't feel like Nigel is intentionally making a bogus phone call. I think Nigel is a confused and abused adult child who feels like this went on and it did go on, but not exactly how he's portraying it.

56:13 Drew But those guys are usually, you feel the hostility in those guys.

56:17 Thrice They're hard to talk to.

56:17 Adam I feel the hostility in Nigel.

56:19 Drew Okay.

56:19 Thrice All right.

56:19 Drew I don't feel it. Okay, fine.

56:20 Thrice I thought so when he first answered.

56:22 Adam Yeah. I just seemed angry from syllable one.

56:26 Drew Okay.

56:26 Adam All right. You're just too far away, Drew.

56:29 Drew Maybe, perhaps.

56:30 Adam Nigel? I feel your anger, brother.

56:34 Caller Thank you, vicar.

56:35 Adam Okay. All right. Now, if this is bogus, you have to say something, though.

56:41 Caller No, it's not bogus. I just have an extreme situation of... I'll go with you. And on the comment that Dr. Drew made of emotional instability and everything, I did seek psychology, and they diagnosed me with bipolar tendencies.

56:59 Drew Okay. All right. So, post-matic stress disorder and bipolarity are very closely related, and so you have a sense you have those kinds of...

57:06 Adam So the vicar turns out to be right.

57:07 Drew No, I said we got to take this guy very seriously.

57:09 Adam Well, I know.

57:11 Drew So the bottom line is, here's the deal. Let's roll this back a few minutes to where he was talking about his association with the church.

57:18 Adam That was yesterday, by the way.

57:19 Drew I know.

57:19 Adam I'm sorry.

57:20 Drew A spiritual program is very important and a very useful adjunct to people or in treatment and mental health kinds of services. The problem is, it doesn't replace professional services. So the fact that you tried to, I wish all way to do is send people to church and their mental problems would get better, particularly after profound trauma and abuse like you suffered. But it's useful, it's helpful, it's important. It's, as Adam said, it helps contain things, but you also have to be in very intensive psychological and psychiatric services. And as you get into this marriage, I would consider some pre-marital counseling just to kind of assess things, to get a plan together here, see what you're dealing with.

57:54 Adam All right, I got a few.

57:55 Caller My pastor had offered to do pre-marital counseling, but I don't, I wasn't really considering it under the grounds of I don't know how a pastor could help on psychological levels of things.

58:08 Adam All right. Hey, Nigel, this is the, There's the hostility. Yeah, this is the Vicar speaking. We're going to wrap this up, but here's the dealio. You're 20, you got stabbed and ran over by your own mom. All my mom did was blow a little pot smoke in my face and miss a couple of little league games. I'm a mess, you understand?

58:29 Drew It's true.

58:30 Adam You have to be a train wreck. Now, here's the dealio.

58:33 Drew You ultimately overcame this McCain.

58:35 Adam Look at me, the Vicar of Christ.

58:36 Drew Thank you, thank you.

58:37 Adam All right.

58:37 Caller And a true millionaire.

58:39 Adam And literally, literally a millionaire. But I don't need worldly possessions anymore, so there ain't no big thing. But I'm still keeping the money in case I change my mind.

58:49 Caller You know what I'm saying?

58:50 Adam I'm not going to give it all away. Like the orphans or anything stupid, because I could have a change of heart, like over the weekend.

58:55 Caller I have a story that...

58:56 Adam No, here's the thing. You're 20. Your life thus far has been a train wreck. It's not your fault, but you shouldn't get married at 20. If you're at the height of sanity and maturity, you shouldn't get married at 20. You should be 25 or 28 anyway, even if you come from a very loving home where there was no crack done. And no scalpels, thrust and anger. Only in good fun. In jest. In jest, that's right. So do not get married. It's stupid to get married at 20, and it's stupid to get married when you're a mess at 20. And you've pulled it together reasonably well, but believe me, you're gonna get married and feelings are gonna surface and wounds are gonna reopen. It's not gonna fix anything. It is not. Take the pressure off yourself. Don't get married. Stay with the counseling. Stay with the Christ. Stay with the Vic man. And give yourself a little breathing room, solve some of these issues, resolve some of these issues, and then get married. And by the way, your mom, she's a write off. She's dead to you. Move on. That's fine.

1:00:03 Drew And then listen to some Thrice songs. Oh, let's do that.

1:00:06 Adam Oh yeah. You gotta listen to some Thrice. Cause that will everything. I'll tell you where I was at, I'll tell you where the Vicar was at before Thrice came into my life. I was wandering. I was aimless. You know, I was like one of those, you know, drone ants we're talking about. I was just, I was on a treadmill, man. I didn't know where I was going. I thought I had it together. I thought I knew it all. I like that speech. That super blowhardy speech. I thought I had all the answers, but it turns out I didn't have any of it in. But I thought, and you couldn't tell me anything either because I had a, you know, I had a quick answer, a sharp tongue. I thought I knew it all, but it turns out I knew nothing.

1:00:43 Drew As if you could tell them anything now.

1:00:44 Adam Yeah. And they said to me, listen to Thrice. And I said, no, no, I know it all. I'm sticking with Gordon Lightfoot. And they said, no. I said, listen to Thrice. And I said, shh, I can't hear the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. Quiet. And they said, no, listen to Thrice. And then one day, man, I pit bottomed, man. I bottomed out and I said, I looked at that Thrice CD and I just popped it in and pow, things came into sharper leaf, Drew. You know what I mean? It just snapped into focus.

1:01:17 Drew That was April 19th, 1984.

1:01:19 Adam That was April 19th, 1984. It was the last time I ever raised a hand in anger. The last time I ever had a sip of grain alcohol. Okay, that's the blowhardy guy, the date guy. I like that date guy. April 27th, 1986, took my first hit of rock cocaine. January 2nd, 1989, my family walked out on me. And they just keep working dates all the time, all the time. I don't even remember what year I graduated from high school, but super date guy, hate the date guy. What is the date in the blowhard? Why do they share the same brain? The date guy and the blowhard guy.

1:02:05 Drew I don't know. We got to figure that one out.

1:02:07 Adam You know what I always hate too, which is I have such anger toward the specific date people that even when they're telling me these horrible stories, I want to chime in and they'll be like, December 22nd, 1989, my family and four children were both killed in a horrible fiery car crash. And I'll be like, that's horrible. But you could just say December, 89, and actually have the date. I didn't even know it was a Wednesday.

1:02:37 Drew I mean, I'm not going to look it up. It's ultra-super narcissism. It's like a huge deal. And it's a date that should be down in infamy because it's important to me.

1:02:47 Adam It is. And I don't know why. Like, okay, somebody's loved one died on this date. And they just give you the exact date. But I do feel it and experience it as very narcissistic. And it makes me angry. Also, because we have that family that's dead and I want to chime in and yell at them.

1:03:05 Drew We have that exact opposite impulse, which is to kind of go, hey, you know, a few years ago it happened. Anyway, you know, we don't want to we don't want to intern people, you know, we don't want to burden people with our stuff.

1:03:15 Adam Yeah. Well, plus, I'm just, you know, quasi-retarded. I was at the writers' table of Kimmel this week, and I said, oh, man, like a year ago, when we were doing that Dawson's Creek, and everyone at the table said, no, that was two years ago. And I was like, what? No, we did it, huh? Two years ago when we did that? And everyone was like, yeah, it's been off the air for two years.

1:03:38 Caller Yeah.

1:03:40 Adam Yeah. I don't even know the date I did Dawson's Creek. Come on. The Vicar don't even know the Dawson's Creek date. We will hear a little little Thrice song, shall we?

1:03:49 Caller Do we do that?

1:03:50 Adam You ready?

1:03:51 Caller Yeah.

1:03:51 Adam Let's let's see. Oh, we're going to hear the second song from this evening called The Artists in the Ambulance. Yeah, usually we put the cheering in, but Thrice thought ahead and did it. They came in. Live, where was that recorded?

1:07:47 Thrice It was at the Apple Store in Santa Monica.

1:07:50 Caller Oh, yeah?

1:07:51 Drew Yeah.

1:07:51 Caller For the opening of the iTunes music store.

1:07:55 Adam Oh, yeah. I love that iTunes stuff. Although, Drew, I can't figure out how to work my shuffle.

1:08:01 Drew I can't either.

1:08:02 Caller Those are great.

1:08:03 Thrice I just got one.

1:08:04 Drew Somebody just gave me another one tonight. The Discovery Health people did, and I'm like, I'm so excited. I think, I can't make this thing work.

1:08:09 Thrice They gave you another shuffle?

1:08:11 Adam Yeah. It's got two shuffles. Use them both as doorstops because you can't figure out how to use them. I can't figure it out either, but let me just say one thing. When it comes to Apple, I like Apple. Everyone seems to like Apple. Their stock and trade is how easy and ergonomically correct everything is, and how intuitive all their stuff is. They could do much better in that department. Their first iPod, you can't reach for the thing without changing it or turning it on or activating it somehow. The older version of the iPod, you can't breathe on it without turning it on.

1:08:46 Thrice No, no, no. The first ones weren't like that. Then the second ones were.

1:08:50 Adam The second ones.

1:08:51 Thrice The touch thing. I thought it was all pretty.

1:08:53 Adam You just run the battery off. Yeah, that's horrible. But let me tell you something that I just noticed today with the Apple, and this is why I want to just holler at all businesses and explain to them what to do and how to do it. Like there's a few things I'd like to do. Like I'd like to confront the TiVo people and say, look, your old TiVo remote, which I use the hell out of, used to have the power right front and center, right at the top. Smack dab in the center at the top. Now it's the smallest goddamn button on the remote. And it's 26 down and 14 to the right. That's where the power is. That's where you put in the power. It was smack dab center, right in the middle of the thing, the biggest button right at the top. And you've chosen to move it down literally on the left side, down 14 buttons and just nestled in between two bigger buttons. Smallest button on there. That was your plan? Where's the scientist? Where's the guys in the lab? I'm gonna beat the crap out of somebody. How about you put a little tin on it so I can feel it, one of my thumbs skimming around? Because I gotta have the lights off at night because I go home and I look at the Cinemax after-hours stuff. I don't need the neighbors to know what I'm doing. How about you put a little dimple on there? And I'd like to talk to everybody about this. I want to talk to every company about it. I got the remote alarm for the car. It's got the one clicker that opens it and the other clicker that locks it. And you can tell because one has a drawing of a lock that's closed and the other has a drawing of the same lock, except for there's a 32nd of little black space in there, which would suggest that it's open. It's not a 16th of an inch. It's a 32nd of an inch of black space, which you quickly wear off by using it with your thumb. So now all I can see is the bottom of the lock. So I have two squares, and I can't remember which one of them opens and which one, like, why do you have the same picture represented there, with nothing but it, you use a little dab of white out, and I could, here's the thing, if a pigeon could crap on this thing and make the two sides exactly the same, then it's a bad design. One should just be green, and the other should be red. One should stick up, the other should be convex, and the other should be concave, y'know, why have the same picture of the same thing, just barely marginally different? And if you are gonna do it, don't do it out of liquid paper, because it gets worn off in a matter of a month, and now it all looks the same. But, okay, let me say this with our good friends over at the Apple, the world's smartest company. All their plugs, when you hook up the computer, if you got a nice big Apple, which I do, I got like a G whatever, whatever it is, big tower thing, all the plugs, when you hook them in, they don't go, they only go one way. There's an up and a down. They don't go, you can't just flip it over and plug it in. And there's, there's 18 places and 18 wires. You gotta get back there and sort of feel around. There, the wires go into these little tabs and their little white thing at the end. And on one side, there's the Apple logo. And on the other side, it's just a weird sort of stamped kind of like fork, like a pitchfork, like this is a cable. I don't even know why they have it. But you tell me what side the Apple logo goes, up or down? Well, the answer is down, although that's very counterintuitive, right? I mean, you would think the logo for the company would go up. Horribly confusing. Engineer Chris, do you have one of those Apple computers?

1:12:31 Caller No, I got a Dell.

1:12:32 Adam Good man. The point is... The point is...

1:12:36 Drew Adam, you gotta look at your cables. The one has a pitchfork, one has a little tiny printer on it, one has a little monitor on it.

1:12:42 Caller Right. But they...

1:12:42 Drew They have different things.

1:12:44 Adam They do, but on the... But they all have the Apple sign. They all have the insignia, and that Apple sign goes down when you plug it into the back of the computer. It's not, where do you plug it in? It's, is it flipped over or is it flipped up? And I'm just saying, where and what universe does the company logo go toward the ground? Just get a Dell, dude. I'm just gonna get a Dell. That's it. I don't even want a Dell. I want your Dell. Go get your Dell.

1:13:13 Caller Yeah, mine sucks. I'll give it to you.

1:13:15 Adam Yeah, I know. I know. Oh, how much porn has passed through that?

1:13:19 Caller Oh, oh.

1:13:20 Drew Humanity.

1:13:21 Adam Oh, it's like, you can't calculate. It's like how much water's traveled through the Grand Canyon. I just, I don't know. It's been millions and millions of years. It's hard to tell.

1:13:32 Drew It's sort of the Hoover Dam of porn.

1:13:34 Adam Yeah. Okay. I'm gonna need that Dell. Thank you. Thrice in studio tonight. We'll take ourselves a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Yeah, it's Loveline. I'm the Vicar of Christ. That's Dr. Drew over there in New York City. Thrice, Rylan Dustin in here representing.

1:14:19 Caller Hello.

1:14:20 Adam We will take some more phone calls, speak to, let's see. Got a question for Dustin. But first we got a sex toy call. Christy?

1:14:33 Caller Hello.

1:14:34 Adam You're 27? What's up?

1:14:37 Caller Hi. Well, actually, I think I have a big issue. I sell sex toys. But when I get home, I just have no libido at all.

1:14:47 Caller I'm married.

1:14:48 Drew We're having this conversation with your kids in the car right now. Yeah.

1:14:51 Caller My kid is two. He doesn't understand.

1:14:54 Drew Okay.

1:14:55 Adam Where are you from? You're Russian?

1:14:57 Caller I'm actually, no, I'm actually Mexican. Really? Yeah. I mean, I used to be like freaky about sex. Like I wanted it all the time and everything. And now it's like, I figure, you know, I felt sex toast. I'm around all this stuff. I can get aroused really easy.

1:15:17 Drew And, you know, this is sort of a syndrome that, like, say strippers get is that they kind of, they've had some sort of premature sexual trauma. They develop this bipolar syndrome where they're very supersexual or super shut down. And that is part of the trauma survivor syndrome. So what happened?

1:15:37 Caller Really? Because, I mean, my husband, he's great. And he'll do anything I tell him to do when it comes to sex. And I just can't get...

1:15:45 Drew She's not answering my question.

1:15:46 Adam No. We call that P-whipped in this country, by the way, Christy. I can't get over that accent. It just sounds European.

1:15:54 Drew It sounds Eastern European.

1:15:55 Adam Yeah.

1:15:55 Drew Yeah.

1:15:56 Caller Really?

1:15:57 Adam It does, yeah.

1:15:57 Caller Well, a lot of people tell me I sound like French or something, but I don't. I don't know.

1:16:04 Adam What part of Mexico are you from?

1:16:06 Caller I'm actually from Mexico City.

1:16:08 Adam Well, maybe that's it. I think we talk to people from like Tijuana, Dallas and stuff like that.

1:16:14 Drew Baja mostly. All right.

1:16:17 Adam And you sell sex toys. What does your husband do?

1:16:21 Caller My husband works for the airlines. And I mean, you know, he's like a customer service agent.

1:16:28 Drew Oh, we've got some things to talk to him about.

1:16:31 Adam Which ones do you work for?

1:16:33 Caller Continental Airlines.

1:16:34 Adam Hmm. All right.

1:16:36 Good times.

1:16:37 Drew We have no gripes with them yet.

1:16:39 Adam No, no. I don't have beef with them. But I could do a few things to improve many of the airlines. I flew Aero Mexico. Or is that Aero California? Was that when I flew where the cockpit door was just swinging in the way and just pounding. It was awesome. And I thought, yep, we're going to Mexico. We ain't even going to Mexico. We're in Mexico even though we're still at LAX because the cockpit door is there. That's basically, that's an airline just saying, yeah, we're here to party, everybody.

1:17:06 Drew It's saying welcome to Mexico.

1:17:08 Adam Yeah, welcome to Mexico.

1:17:10 Caller I always want to be a part of the High Mile Club.

1:17:13 Adam Oh, the...

1:17:14 Drew You gotta ask her about her trauma stuff. She's clearly got that going on.

1:17:17 Adam All right, you're talking about the Mile High Club?

1:17:20 Drew Yeah.

1:17:21 Caller Right, oh, I would love to do that. That's like one of my biggest fantasies because we do travel a lot. We get to travel for free, but he's always like, no, no, no, we can't do that because I'm an employee and I'll get fired if I get caught. And I'm like, oh, come on, let's just give it a try. But he just won't go for it.

1:17:40 Adam Plus, you're making money sack over fist selling those dildos mail order, right?

1:17:48 Caller Oh, seriously, like I tell women how to like, you know, ignite the passion on their lives and like how to get out of the routine with their partners and how to get around and how to like explore their bodies and see what they like about sex and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I just can't get like, it doesn't seem like it works for me.

1:18:08 Drew Adam, please ask her the question.

1:18:09 Adam I will. I was thinking it was ironic when she went blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, cause it wasn't much of a variation from what she was saying before she was saying blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I mean, it sounded different, but it didn't read as any different than what she was saying before.

1:18:25 Caller Right.

1:18:26 Adam Christy. All right, quiet down, you're very manic. Did somebody, all right, what happened to you growing up? Ever molested, anything like that?

1:18:35 Caller No, actually never was.

1:18:37 Adam Physical abuse? What's your, yeah, physical abuse?

1:18:40 Caller No. Well, my dad was actually, yes, physical.

1:18:43 Caller Yeah.

1:18:44 Caller Physically will abuse my mother, yes.

1:18:46 Adam Yes, beater.

1:18:47 Caller I think back in my head, I kind of remember watching them having sex.

1:18:52 Caller Oh boy.

1:18:54 Caller Like when I was little.

1:18:55 Drew That is sexual abuse. I mean, that has the same impact as sexual abuse sometimes. I'm not saying it's a devastating experience for kids, but it can be rather traumatizing. So like I said earlier, you didn't seem to listen to me, that you seem to manifest a classic syndrome of people that are trauma survivors, where they fluctuate between hypersexual and sexually shut down. And this sort of romanticizing about the sexuality is all a ruse. It's all nonsense. You are completely detached from the emotional experience associated with sex. And for you, it carries with it a lot of traumatic feelings.

1:19:29 Adam Yeah. And by the way, when she talks to her husband, she's gonna say Dr. Drew said the romantic attachment was all ruse. That's how it will go down, by the way. A ruse doesn't mean anything to our stone listeners and certainly not the ones from Mexico City.

1:19:45 Drew It's a smoke screen. A smoke screen. It's what's really going on.

1:19:48 Adam Hey, hey, hey, hey, Christy.

1:19:50 Caller Yes?

1:19:51 Adam So, and by the way, I just look at, I just look at growing up in Mexico is a form of abuse straight away. So I don't care if your dad's president of Mexico. I still look at that as abuse.

1:20:02 Caller I agree with you.

1:20:03 Adam Thank you. So your dad, was your dad an alcoholic?

1:20:08 Caller Yes, he was. He was a drug abuser.

1:20:10 Adam All right. And let me say, let me say this too about Mexico. And I mean this with all due respect, but to be considered an alcoholic in Mexico, that's a tall, I mean, you really got to drink. It's like Canada with the gold records. It's just the opposite. You know what I mean? It's on a curve. For you to be classified as an alcoholic living in Mexico, you would be dead of alcohol poisoning. And then if you lived in Utah, totally different. See what I'm saying? So when you're from Mexico and you're saying the guy's an alcoholic, that means keg before breakfast.

1:20:44 Drew It's the difference between a gold and a platinum.

1:20:46 Adam That's what it is, right.

1:20:47 Drew Yeah, he's a platinum alcoholic.

1:20:49 Adam Your dad was a drug abuser and an alcoholic. Right.

1:20:53 Drew You got to deal with this, my dear. You've got a lot of stuff.

1:20:55 Adam You're all whipped up, baby. You're gonna have to have that kid up.

1:20:59 Drew Yeah, this is trauma. This is trauma. At least if you don't, I would urge you to get a therapist and work in therapy. May perhaps go to the 12-step program, Adult Children of Alcoholic or Al-Anon. I would be concerned about your husband. You'll tend to be attracted to people that are alcohol or drug users. Does your husband smoke pot every day?

1:21:17 Caller My husband smokes pot, not every day.

1:21:20 Drew Most days. But he's probably a burgeoning addict because that's the kind of person you'll be attracted to based on how your dad behaves. You've got to be very careful about this. You're going to have to do some work.

1:21:32 Adam All right, baby. Sorry to end the party, but really, your dad was abusive. It's affecting you and you're going to screw your kid up.

1:21:39 Drew So get yourself a little help. This nonsense about if we just explore your body and buy toys and stuff, that's total nonsense. That's not how the human works. That's all useful. It could be helpful, but there's a very powerful emotional experience attached to all this. You're not dealing with it all.

1:21:55 Adam I blame the pinata. I think this is a very dangerous thing. Well, let me tell you something. This is the vicar speaking, the vicar Christ. That is, they take these children and they indoctrinate them into a world of violence very early. They take the young three and four-year-olds, they blindfold them, they spin them around, the kids are disoriented, they're confused, and then they wave a donkey in front of them. They give them a weapon and tell them to attack this donkey. And I think that they train.

1:22:22 Drew And then your vicarness, your vicarness, the ultimate abuse is when the thing spills open and it's Mexican candy.

1:22:28 Adam No, well that's where the poisoning begins. Yeah, but no, think about it this. You think about this. You send a message to a young Mexican child that there's candy filled and everything if you punch it hard enough, if you strike it hard enough, if you beat it hard enough. And I believe that boy grows up and actually you know he's 22 and he's in a bar and he wants some razzles. And here comes a guy. So he socks him in the head and he attacks him viciously, hoping to get his nougatie inside. Turns out there's just blood and viscera in there. No candy at all, but the kid is confused. Yes, Drew?

1:23:03 Drew It makes him angry. It makes him angry. Makes him want to strike out some more.

1:23:06 Adam This is why I would be a great attorney. Because if I ever represented a guy just aggravated assault or beat the crap out of someone, I would just say he hit a pinata when he was seven. He's not the brightest bulb in the chandelier. He was trying to get candy from this person. What would you do when you were hungry?

1:23:27 Drew Sugar cacti.

1:23:29 Adam That's right. That's right. So you just beat the crap out of stuff with a stick. You think about the whole pinata theme, which is the kid takes a vicious swing at the pinata with the mop handle. The kid takes a swing at it. The kid whacks the pinata. The pinata bursts open. The candy starts falling to the ground. Now, all the other kids can't be restrained. They just come sliding in. I mean, they just come. They're like planes landing on a carrier deck. They just come swooping in. Now, the kid still has the blindfold on, still has the stick, and has no idea that the candy is on the ground. So the kid is still swinging viciously at the pinata, except for the thing is there's 13 little heads now where the pinata used to be. It just seems like you're asking for trouble.

1:24:23 Drew It seems like a bad strategy.

1:24:24 Adam I don't think the Jews would have ever come up with this. That's all I'm saying. I think the Jews are like, look, hide some matzah and if we get around to it, we'll take a look for it.

1:24:37 Drew Let me tell them to eat.

1:24:38 Adam They're not stuff a donkey with a zot and spin a kid around him, attack it with a weapon. That's not you. The Jews wouldn't go for that, Drew. You know what I mean?

1:24:48 Drew I hear you.

1:24:49 Adam All right. Thrice here tonight. We're going to take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back after this.

1:24:58 Caller Dude, you got issues.

1:25:00 Caller Call Loveline.

1:25:01 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:25:11 Thrice Yeah, yeah, that was a John Kelly movie.

1:25:15 Adam Yeah, I think so. Yeah! Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. That is Dr. Drew over there in New York City, Dustin Reilly here in Los Angeles City.

1:25:36 Thrice Hello.

1:25:36 Adam Next to the hem of the garment of the vicar of Christ.

1:25:40 Drew What's up, vicar?

1:25:41 Adam Yeah. All righty, let's get some calls in.

1:25:46 Drew Please.

1:25:47 Adam Can we do that? Let's talk to some folks who have been on hold for quite some time. Sarah?

1:25:54 Caller Yes.

1:25:54 Adam 24?

1:25:56 Caller Yes.

1:25:56 Adam You bleed a lot after sex?

1:26:00 Caller Well, I usually bleed after intercourse anyway. I'm kind of used to it. I guess it's been happening since I've been having sex.

1:26:09 Adam Good times.

1:26:12 Caller I don't know if that's really normal. I suppose it is. I just assume it is, I suppose.

1:26:16 Drew It can be. It can be. Yeah. Do you get regular pelvic exams? Provided that you don't have no anatomical problems, polyps, that kind of thing, infections, it's normal. Yeah. All right.

1:26:30 Caller Okay. Well, this last time it's just been really, like I was bleeding to like it, almost felt like it was a period.

1:26:36 Drew Have you started a new birth control pill?

1:26:38 Caller I just started the pill. I've been on it for about three months.

1:26:42 Drew That's why you're having more heavy flow.

1:26:46 Caller Okay.

1:26:46 Drew It tends to cause thicker and less stable lining of the uterus.

1:26:49 Caller So there you go.

1:26:51 Caller Okay. So as long as it bleeds normal, I thought maybe it was like a sign of an STD or-

1:26:55 Drew No, it's just it's mid-cycle bleeding. No, it's just the birth control pill.

1:27:00 Caller Okay.

1:27:00 Adam All right, Sarah.

1:27:02 Caller Okay. That's cool.

1:27:02 Caller Great. Good time.

1:27:03 Adam All right. Happy humping.

1:27:05 Caller Thanks.

1:27:06 Adam Good times. I'm just going to go in order of people been waiting the longest talk to Anika, who's 20. Anika?

1:27:16 Hi.

1:27:16 Adam What's up?

1:27:19 Well, I am calling in reference to me and my boyfriend and our sex life.

1:27:25 Adam You sound hot.

1:27:28 Well, thank you. That's very nice to hear.

1:27:31 Adam Are you attractive?

1:27:33 I like to think so, and I've never had a problem picking up men.

1:27:38 Adam Hold on a second. Let me see if the folks agree with the vicar when he says that chicks that sound hot are either hot or not, but rarely just sort of in between. You wouldn't meet them and go, okay, all right, I guess you're kind of... They'd be like, I was right, or I got to recalibrate.

1:27:58 Drew By the way, same thing, I've never had a difficulty picking up men. It doesn't mean anything.

1:28:02 Adam No, no. By the way, whenever someone says, when you go, are you hot? And they go, I got no problem picking up guys. I just pack 40 pounds right on them immediately on my mind scale.

1:28:15 Caller Where she's picking you up is important, too. Yeah.

1:28:17 Drew Well, just guys, the guys are just hounds, whatever.

1:28:20 Adam By the way, yeah, there's nothing to do with you being attractive. Yeah, let me, yeah, okay. I bet back in the day that Pope, they're passing around whose nose fell off, probably picked up a couple of guys. Oh, sure. A couple of guys along the way, drunk guys.

1:28:36 They must be blind or something along those lines.

1:28:38 Adam All right, so describe yourself, Alfonica, because it's a hot name, too.

1:28:42 Thank you. Well, completely honest, I'm 5'11, long dark brown hair, hazel eyes, about 165, 170.

1:28:52 Adam Hold on. There's your 40. About 165, 170, we're up close to 180 here. It's like me. Yeah. This is a lot of, but doesn't rock as hard. Or quite possibly doesn't. I don't know for sure. All right, Anika, a lot of gal, but attractive. Yes. Okay.

1:29:16 Yeah.

1:29:16 Adam Okay. Now, you're not big though, right?

1:29:18 No, I'm about medium size.

1:29:20 Adam Okay. All right, hold on a second. I know it's the world's cruelest thing to do, but we talk to people all the time that are like, we talk to chicks all the time, they're like, yeah, about 175. That's, you know, I mean, I got a little meat on my bone, but no problem. Yeah, she's not 52, but I'm just telling you, ladies, just to be cruel but kind at the same time, you're coming in about 170. Most guys consider that a little on the large side for the ladies. We like to, the reality is sad but true, and I'm just telling you, because guys are very visual, white guys are just, black guys like a little more. The vicar is going to get into that later on in the one o'clock hour. But here's the thing, for most guys, about the 140 is sort of the cutoff before you start, you know, start drifting into the sort of a little chunky or a little bit heavy set or whatever you want to call it. As you pass through the 160s and start getting into the 170s, we're getting ready to bust out the f-word. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? All right. Annika? Okay. So, your boyfriend of three years wants to have kinky sex, but you're not really into it.

1:30:38 Caller Well, it's kind of extreme.

1:30:41 Drew What's he want to do?

1:30:43 Caller He's interested in asphyxiation.

1:30:46 Adam Oh, boy.

1:30:47 Drew He wants to be asphyxiated or he wants to asphyxiate you?

1:30:50 Caller He wants to asphyxiate me.

1:30:54 Adam Just say strangles better. What's he want to do it with? His hand or a bag or what's he want?

1:31:00 Caller Well, he prefers like his hands or a scarf or something like that.

1:31:05 Drew That's actually very dangerous. Adam and I, you and I have known people that have had very serious consequences.

1:31:10 Adam Yes, we have. Yes, we have.

1:31:12 Drew And it's not something to screw around with. And it's a very, it's kind of a bizarre impulse that it's something that he would feel impuls, you know, compulsive to do.

1:31:19 Adam It's a strangly with a scarf.

1:31:21 Drew Yeah.

1:31:21 Adam And then, by the way, what ends up happening is, is he, he ends up snuffing you out by mistake. He gets a little slap on the hand. And by the way, they're in court. Your parents are there and they're crying. And he's on there and he's going, she was begging for it, your honor. I mean, I, you know, I barely wanted to have sex, but she was like, no, she was bored of anal. And your mom's just breaking down into a heap. But she's like, so she begged me to take out the kerchief and wrap it around her neck. And, you know, she kept saying harder, more, harder and more. Eventually, I thought she just passed out. So I got something to eat. And then it'll be like, well, it's your first offense, son. Your mom's going to be crying. She's going to hear all the horrible details of your lured sex life. Hey, don't do it. And, and this one can kill you. It really can.

1:32:13 Drew Yeah.

1:32:14 Caller That's right. And that's the reason that I am so standoffish about it. Because. Good impulse.

1:32:20 Drew Yeah. By the way, I want you to hear what you sound like. Yeah, it could kill me. So yeah, I'm a little resistant to that. Yeah. I thought I thought it was a good thought. What are you talking about? Why do you even give it any consideration? No, it's not going to happen.

1:32:30 Adam I don't like this guy. I don't, I don't like the idea that he wants to strangle his girlfriend.

1:32:34 Drew Very strange.

1:32:35 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Now it's one thing to want to strangle your wife, you know, when you're telling her to hem the curtains for the 45th goddamn time and she won't do it. That's a natural impulse. I want to strangle my wife. But in the bed now, unless the curtains come up, you know, while we're being intimate, then I can go ahead and marry my two loves.

1:32:53 Caller Just a rise in bed.

1:32:57 Adam What was that? Yeah, I don't know, but you're frightening me a little bit. I don't trust this guy. Maybe three years is long enough.

1:33:03 Caller Yeah.

1:33:04 Adam Yeah.

1:33:05 Drew And stop with the coquettishness.

1:33:07 Adam And something's up with you too. What's going on? There's some kind of weird sexuality thing you have too. On my spidey sense, my vicar of Christy sense is tingly.

1:33:19 Drew Okay, vicar.

1:33:20 Adam All right, baby, something's up. And just again, not to be cruel, 170, big gal.

1:33:26 Drew And the Mae West interpretation doesn't-

1:33:30 Adam It doesn't shrink that ass.

1:33:31 Drew No.

1:33:32 Adam It helps. But it will not shrink it. All right, let's take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back after this. Well, that's it. I want to thank Dustin Riley for coming in here from Thrice.

1:34:18 Thrice Thanks for having us.

1:34:19 Adam Always good to see you guys. Continued success. Go out. Now, where can they find your DVD?

1:34:25 Thrice Probably anywhere. And there's a CD that comes with it, too, and that's what the songs that were played tonight are off of.

1:34:32 Adam Oh, all right. So get the Thrice DVD, and you'll get yourself a nice free CD with that.

1:34:37 Drew Adam, I'll see you in New York tomorrow.

1:34:39 Adam I will see you in New York City, and Davitel, really, Davitel from Insomniac, but just one of the funniest standups going. And now that Mitch Headroom is gone, well, look out. All right, so Headberg.

1:34:57 Drew Headroom.

1:34:58 Adam Headroom. I was thinking of Max Headroom. Yeah. Now that Mitch is gone, now Dave is King of the Comedy Hill. I'm sure he's not happy about that, but what are you going to do? So until next time, this is the Vicar of Christ for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:35:16 Drew What's up, Vicar?

1:35:20 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, April 5, 2005