Episode 1000702652127

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

1:01 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:04 Voiceover Sexually-oriented content.

1:07 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:08 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:10 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:13 Voiceover This is Loveline. With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline, a man of... That's Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. We're, uh, and no, I didn't hear what you said, Anderson.

1:34 Drew And more closer to my closer in.

1:36 Adam Yeah.

1:37 Drew We adjusted that all tonight.

1:38 Adam Trying to hang back a little.

1:39 Drew Yeah.

1:40 Adam Uh, one more night here in a beautiful, uh, New York City, and then it's, uh, back to Los Angeles.

1:47 Drew Drew? Yeah, except, uh, it seems like, Adam, the sort of, uh, story of our life is rain.

1:53 Adam Yeah.

1:53 Drew It follows us wherever we go.

1:55 Adam It's raining here tonight.

1:56 Drew Biblical rain.

1:57 Adam Yeah, it's coming down.

1:58 Drew Yeah, it's weird. I've never seen the streets flood in New York. It flooded in, like, two hours.

2:02 Adam Drew was, uh, out at Times Square doing a little bit. First TV show tonight. I was in, uh, SoHo eating dinner at a very, uh, trendy bistro.

2:11 Drew No, you were at the Meatpacking District.

2:13 Adam It was a Meatpacking District. Uh, last time I came out here, I got confused and went to the Fudgepacking District. Uh, I don't want to talk about, but a totally different place. Uh, it was out of Bleecker Street, but, uh, I had, uh, I was eating dinner with, uh, Eminem's manager tonight.

2:30 Drew Nice.

2:31 Adam Yeah. You know, the thing I like about, uh, managers in the, uh, ramp business is they're part manager, part bouncer, part pimp, part enforcer. You know, it's not just management.

2:42 Drew Right.

2:43 Adam But, uh, nice to hear, uh, nice to, we're doing a, uh, Eminem's doing a, uh, crank. He's using all the crank yanker puppets on his latest video. So he's a, uh, like, uh, Eminem is like a retarded crank yankers fan.

2:57 Drew Yeah.

2:58 Adam And, uh, so it's like a $1.5 million video with a bunch of puppets. Oh, yeah. Fantastic. But, uh, anyway, had a good time with that tonight. One o'clock met Drew over here. It's, uh, raining. Drew was in, uh, in Times Square doing a little man on the street bit. How'd you stay dry?

3:18 Drew Uh, you know, they have lots of those big overhangs that theaters have and stuff. Little shop alcoves you can walk into.

3:24 Adam No problem.

3:25 Drew No problem.

3:25 Adam What are we doing? We taking a cab back tonight?

3:27 Yeah.

3:28 Drew Oh, yeah.

3:29 Adam I got the, uh, I was, uh, just, uh, Drew and I had to do the, uh, up fronts. It's, uh, like an advertising thing for, uh...

3:35 Discovery.

3:36 Adam Drew's doing something on Discovery. I'm doing a home improvement show on, uh, TLC. So they flew us out here to do our thing. You talk to the, uh, ad sales guys, advertising guys, guys who buy a commercial time. I, I was thinking as I was sitting backstage and I was hearing the guy, you know, they always have the president of the company comes up there and he says, uh, we here at, uh, Discovery Channel feel, uh, privileged, uh, and feel like this year's going to be a banner year for the Discovery Channel and the umbrella of Discovery Channels and companies and subsidiaries. And I, and I said to someone, how long have these upfronts been going on? I mean, where, where a network, this conversation network would come out and do their thing. And I said, yeah, since the fifties. And I thought, oh, I would give a million dollars to see stuff from the seventies. Oh, and like, it's, it's like the guy from ABC. First off, he's got a, he's got a collar that's like nine feet wide.

4:31 Drew It's like Sister Betrills' headset.

4:32 Adam Sister Betrills' headset's got a huge hair.

4:34 Drew Yeah.

4:35 Adam You know, big, Brillo head. It's like 1977. And he's saying, with groundbreaking programming, such as the Dukes of Hazzard and Hello Larry, we feel like ABC is ready to reclaim its rightful spot.

4:50 Drew I wonder if they even present it that way back then.

4:51 Adam They had to.

4:52 Drew But they would be more, a little hipper, a little like, I don't. With this country the way it is, we figure we're gonna give Americans a little homespun fun. So here's our spurs.

5:01 Adam All I'm saying is, is to have a film of them rolling out Love Boat, Fantasy Island, Bring it back about six years, Gilligan's Island, Gilligan's Island.

5:12 Drew A GMT&F troop, how would that go down?

5:14 Adam Well, the thing about the upfronts is, of course, you have to speak very positively. Essentially what it is, is you're a car company and you're unveiling your new car. So, you can't say, sure, it's got some styling that everyone agrees on. We think it's a decent ride. No, it's all praise, no matter what the car is. So, the idea that they would be rolling out these clunkers and these TV shows that were just novelty bad and speaking in glowing praise of these things must have just been... I would just love to sit back and watch a video. You know what I would love? I would love to see a compilation of all the major networks up front from like 1966 to...

6:00 Drew To 75.

6:01 Adam Yeah, let's make it 85. I mean, you could get Full House and that kind of stuff in there too.

6:07 Drew It would be so entertaining.

6:08 Adam Oh, they'd be doing Mork and Mindy. They'd be doing everything. And they'd be talking about the people like you'd never heard of Robin Williams before. They'd be going to hot, fresh, upcoming comic named Robin Williams. You know what I'm saying?

6:21 Drew A little bit screwy, a little bit tough. You may not like it, but first.

6:24 Adam It would just be awesome to watch that. They'd be showing little clips and you'd see what everyone was wearing in the audience. Someone's gotta film these things. That's all I'm saying.

6:35 Drew Yeah, you're right.

6:36 Adam Anyway, so we're here in Manhattan. We got one more night here and then it's back to Mother Los Angeles.

6:45 Drew I've done that Meatpacking District where I was last night. It's like Celebrity Central. It's crazy.

6:49 Adam Drew almost ran over Lindsay Lohan.

6:51 Drew It's true.

6:51 Adam Who else did you see?

6:54 Drew Liam Neeson, Robin Williams, strangely enough. Oh, yeah. You saw?

6:59 Adam Well, I saw Keith Richards tonight and let's see, Peter Boyle, who I know, engineer Chris would go out of his mind if he saw Peter Boyle because he doesn't know who he is. Chris?

7:10 Drew Oh, Chris.

7:11 Adam No, engineer Chris.

7:12 Drew Yeah.

7:13 Adam And then and another guy, no one's ever heard of Salman Rushdie. But Salman Rushdie was the guy who wrote this, I don't know, Satanic Verses or something. He was the guy who was the author, basically just wrote a book in like 1994 and got on the Shaw's hit list.

7:30 Drew And no, no, it's not. No, the Ayatollah or whoever. No, the Shiites.

7:36 Adam Well, whoever was in charge of that part of the region put a $5 million bounty on the guy's head, which got to be rough, by the way, when you got the suicide bombers and not only going to get, not only going to do, they'd blow themselves up for free, but in this case, the family is going to get $5 million.

7:55 Drew Fantastic.

7:55 Adam Yeah. But they managed to survive. All right, Drew, what's going on?

7:59 Drew Let's take some calls. All right, here's Sarah, who's 21. Sarah?

8:03 Caller Yeah.

8:04 Adam Yeah.

8:05 Caller Hi.

8:07 Caller First of all, I'd just like to say I love your show.

8:08 Caller You guys are hilarious.

8:10 Adam Thanks.

8:10 Caller And I have a question about a problem, and also I have a comment on blow jobs. So first of all, my problem is for about around two months, like sort of mid-February to end of March, I wasn't able to get an orgasm at all, not even using my vibrators, which is very irregular for me, because usually with my vibrators, I can get off every time. And then...

8:38 Adam Hold on. You say vibrators.

8:41 Caller Yes.

8:42 Drew Just a little spectrum, a little menu.

8:44 Adam You have more than one.

8:45 Caller Yes.

8:46 Adam But you don't use them in tandem.

8:49 Caller No.

8:50 Adam That's not like knitting needles. We're using them at once.

8:54 Caller Well, I have the pulsating heart and a regular vibrator.

9:00 Drew The pulsating heart?

9:02 Caller Yeah. So sometimes I use them together.

9:05 Drew All right. Pulsating heart?

9:06 Adam So you would actually use two vibrators at once?

9:09 Caller Sometimes. Not always.

9:10 Drew Hold on. Pulsating heart?

9:11 Adam I don't know what that is.

9:13 Caller It's...

9:14 Drew This sounds like an episode from Michael Naran cartoon. Right now.

9:16 Caller It's just a little like a gel thing that you put over your clitoris and it vibrates. It has different feeds and different vibrating pulse rates, I guess. And it's the number one seller at Fascination Superstore.

9:35 Drew So it's like a superstore. So it's like a jogging rate and sleep rate, coma rate.

9:40 Adam Yeah, it's a pedometer. All right. So you use two things at once.

9:44 Drew Superventricular tachycardia, ventral ventricular tachycardia.

9:48 Adam Yeah. You can't have an orgasm.

9:50 Caller No, and I couldn't. And I started again at sort of the beginning of April, end of March, but still I can't all the time. Like it's only been a few times that I've been able to get an orgasm. And that's very irregular because usually you can get off every single time.

10:09 Drew You started in medication?

10:11 Caller Yes, I'm on medication for depression and anxiety.

10:14 Drew Well, that's why you're having a problem.

10:16 Adam You gotta get a third vibrator.

10:18 Drew No, the serotonin.

10:20 Caller I've been on the medications for a year now, though.

10:24 Drew Did they change the dose?

10:25 Caller They changed, they added Seroquel.

10:28 Drew Okay, well that's why you're not having orgasms now.

10:31 Caller Seroquel is?

10:32 Drew Uh-huh. And it may be the interaction with the Seroquel and the other medicines. But that's definitely the problem. Psychiatric medications very commonly interfere with orgasmic function and or libido.

10:44 Adam How does that work? Why does that work?

10:46 Drew No one knows. All right. No one really knows. Although they are coming out with some very ultra short-acting serotonin reuptake inhibitors like short-acting Prozacs that are out of your system about four hours to take. Wait a minute. Listen to this. To take for premature ejaculation.

11:01 Adam Oh.

11:02 Drew So you're not taking it for you don't want it all the time in your system. You want it for a couple hours. You take it.

11:06 Adam That's a boring answer.

11:08 Drew Even with that, it doubles down. It doubles your time to orgasm. So if you're one minute, it's two minutes.

11:18 Caller So is there anything I can do to get that back? Because I can't, like most women I can't orgasm during sex.

11:26 Drew Are you bipolar?

11:28 Caller No. Just depression and anxiety disorder and stages of narcolepsy.

11:36 Drew The narcolepsy may be from all the meds too. But the fact is though, yeah, listen, the circle is highly sedating. That's going to make your narcolepsy worse or whatever. It's going to make you sleep more, more. And it's making you not orgasm. Go back and talk to your doctor. It's not a side effect you have to tolerate. And there's nothing can be done to correct it other than changing your medication.

11:54 Caller Okay.

11:55 Drew All right.

11:55 Adam Wait a minute. Wait a minute. She had a BJ question.

11:58 Caller Yes, I have not a BJ question, a comment. You were talking about blowjobs on the show last night. And in Colorado, we get it. We got that two nights. So I was just listening to it. And the woman who was pregnant, she was talking about how she was like, eww, I don't want to give a blowjob. And it's just going to take my room.

12:19 Adam How about giving them a BJ?

12:21 Caller Oh, no.

12:23 Adam Yeah, Anderson.

12:25 That boy raised.

12:26 Caller My roommate and I were just going, oh, what is this girl's problem? Because we love giving blowjobs. It's so satisfying.

12:34 Drew Satisfying.

12:34 Adam Why?

12:35 Drew What makes it satisfying?

12:37 Adam New Guinea goodness.

12:38 Caller That you're so good at it. And just guys love it.

12:43 Drew Yeah, good times.

12:45 Caller And we don't like really receiving because most guys stop.

12:50 Adam Where's this apartment complex?

12:52 Drew Well, no, wait a minute. She said they don't like receiving because most guys can't do it.

12:55 Caller Yeah, most guys can't do it. And so it can't, you know, it doesn't get us off. So it just kind of gets like boring and pointless because they're just looking and it's doing nothing.

13:03 Adam She almost, she almost goaded me into that. I'll show you. And then I thought, all right, just start blowing.

13:08 Drew Right.

13:09 Adam You're right. Maybe you got a point.

13:10 Drew How, what if you found a guy that was good at it?

13:15 Caller If I found a guy that was good at it, that'd be awesome. Cause then I could receive and give, but we still prefer giving. We just love him and also if you don't-

13:23 Drew Adam, you could divert your plane tomorrow. You don't have to go straight to Los Angeles.

13:26 Adam Where are you guys out of?

13:28 Caller Huh?

13:28 Caller Colorado.

13:29 Adam Colorado? I get out there.

13:31 Drew It's right on the way home.

13:31 Adam Tell my wife to wait in the airport.

13:33 Drew Sure.

13:33 Adam I got some business to take care of. Don't worry about it. That'd be the next thing out of my mouth.

13:38 Drew Just wait here.

13:40 Adam Here's the conversation. I got some business to take care of in Colorado. None of your beeswax. Just wait here. Yeah. Just wait here.

13:49 Drew All right, Sarah.

13:50 Adam All right.

13:50 Drew What are you doing in Colorado?

13:52 Adam Belong, guys.

13:53 Caller Right now?

13:54 Drew No. Yesterday.

13:55 Caller Why am I in Colorado?

13:57 Drew What are you doing there? You go to school.

14:00 Caller I go to school. I'm a film student. I go to Colorado Film School for directing and script writing, but then I'm going to grad school at the CU Health Sciences Center for human genetic medical research.

14:15 Adam She has a, her major is in oral with an emphasis on BJs.

14:20 Drew Going to genetic research. What's your undergraduate degree in?

14:24 Caller What's my what?

14:25 Drew Film. Your undergraduate degree?

14:28 Caller My, oh, it's a film production with an emphasis in directing.

14:31 Drew Oh, like you said Adam, go to genetic engineering.

14:35 Adam Keep blowing. God bless you and your roommate. You know what I like? I like when girls get competitive about giving oral sex.

14:43 Drew What?

14:43 Adam Like I'll show you who's better. I'll show you who gives her a better paycheck.

14:46 Drew You've never had that.

14:47 Adam No, I've never had it. I've seen it. What do you mean?

14:52 Drew Porno.

14:52 Adam No, those are documentaries.

14:54 Those aren't pornos.

14:55 Drew I beg your pardon. Of course.

14:56 Those are real nurses.

14:57 Drew Yes, yes, yes.

14:58 Adam Who are you talking about?

14:59 Drew I beg your pardon. I'm so sorry.

15:00 Adam Let me say this about the porno industry.

15:02 Say it.

15:04 Adam In the porno industry, often times they'll have secretaries and they'll come on to their bosses and librarians, librarians, nurses, nurses, no, no greater chasm between reality and porno than nurses. Nurses are usually like American Indians about 500 pounds, heads the size of 55-gallon drums, could store seven or eight penises in the right cheek. In the movies, smoking hot. Why aren't nurses hotter? Nurses should be hotter. I would, if I was in charge, I would try to get hot chicks in the nursing.

15:41 Drew Do you know what happens? What happens? Just think of it, use your imagination. What happens to the hot ones?

15:45 Adam They get snatched up by the doctors.

15:47 Drew And then?

15:48 Adam They're gone. They're pulled out of circulation.

15:50 Drew Yeah.

15:51 Adam Yeah, I don't like that.

15:52 Drew Or not even the doctor necessarily. They're just pulled out.

15:55 Adam Yeah, they get pulled out.

15:56 Drew Whatever, yeah.

15:56 Adam Some celebrity comes in there with a broken leg, and next, she's going home with the guy. Yeah, that doesn't work right. It just leaves. You know what it is? It's like the heavier ones can stay behind. The ones that can't physically be moved out of the hospital. They actually stay behind. It's interesting.

16:12 Yeah.

16:15 Adam I would like, yeah, I would like hotter nurses, and my only other feeling about our models being shipped out to Europe. I don't go for that either.

16:24 Drew That doesn't seem to be happening so much anymore, does it?

16:26 Adam People don't talk about it, but you always hear about these models. Whenever you talk to a model, it's always, what happened? I grew up in Michigan, and then when I turned 14, I went to France and modeled. I was all through Europe, and then I came back when I was 21. You guys don't have your own hotties? It's your own hotties.

16:43 Drew I think we've responded to that with reality television. America's new top model, whatever, like crap.

16:50 Adam I'm just saying, we have our hot, like, imagine-

16:52 Drew I think they're staying back. I think they're staying inside.

16:54 Adam Imagine if you're in the junior high, and the hottest smoking is chick, you're in Kentucky, the hottest chick just ships out.

17:01 Drew Oh.

17:01 Adam You're bummed out, right?

17:02 Drew Yeah, yeah. That's just brutal.

17:04 Adam Because the thing about it is, all these smoking hot model actress chicks always will tell you a story about some guy, oh, he was the- Drew, do you have to whack the mic?

17:14 Drew Twice, twice, both ways. Going and coming.

17:16 Adam Pepsic bottle coming and going. See, these chicks, even though they're smoking hot, they're 15, they're civilians. You know, so they'll tell you the story about, oh, I had a crush on Carl Bringis. He was a junior. He played for the tennis team. You know what I'm saying? There's, and then there's the guy, like when you, in these poor saps, by the way, it's got to be a weird thing where it's like, oh yeah, I was married to Anna Nicole Smith when she was 16. You know what? Yeah, she worked at the fried chicken place. I worked at a batting cage.

17:48 Drew What?

17:50 Adam Like, no matter how big and how hot these celebrity chicks are, they always come from some small town.

17:54 Drew The Dorothy Straton story, that's that.

17:56 Adam Some goofball that's married to them or dating them in high school. When they ship them off, they ship them off to Europe. It's all over. Jigs up. They know they're hot.

18:04 Drew They enter the world market.

18:05 Adam They wouldn't be going to Europe. Now it's the world market. It's all over, all over.

18:08 Drew All right, stop obsessing about this. It's too late. I've got to bring up some stuff tonight. Apparently, I've been giving these plugs for my Discovery Health Channel show and people have been calling and thinking I'm looking for calls for the radio program for this program.

18:19 Adam No ass.

18:19 Drew I'm looking for calls for people that are willing to go on television and talk about a couple of things. Tonight, I'm looking again for diabetic males who are having side effects from not taking their insulin, like erectile dysfunction, and or men suffering from premature E, willing to talk about it on TV.

18:35 Adam All right, let me take care of some business here.

18:37 Drew Please.

18:38 Adam I'm at the hotel. We've talked about this before, but I'm at the hotel tonight. It's about 730 at night. My wife's taking a nap. I'm watching a little TV in my underpants. There's a ring on the doorbell, an aphrantic ring, because you get the first ring, and then, huh, what? You stand up, and the next ring comes in, and then you actually, the key starts turning, and turn down, turn down, turn down service. What? Turn down.

19:07 Drew I hate that.

19:08 Adam And here's the whole thing is, what? Let me explain what the turndown service is. They take the corner of your bedspread, and they pull it out.

19:19 Drew A quarter inch?

19:20 Adam Seven-eighths of an inch. And they dog ear it.

19:23 Drew Yeah. And then they leave two chocolates by the bed.

19:25 Adam And they leave a chocolate, and they leave. And it's like, first off, they always show up, they'd be better off showing up at nine when you're out to dinner than at 730.

19:35 Drew Or 430.

19:37 Adam Or 430. But they show up at like 745 when you're in the shower. The next move is, it's one of those moves like when people not, you know when dirty old men want to see their daughter's friends naked changing in the bathroom, they do the one knock and burst in move.

19:54 Drew Yeah, they slip in.

19:55 Adam Anyone in the hole?

19:56 Oh, sorry. Stacey, I'm sweetie.

19:58 Adam I am. So, oh yeah. And they're not even look, they're sort of turn their head, but their eyes are still looking at her snatch. You know, like, so I am sorry, sweetie. I am sorry. That's what it is. Like one ring on the doorbell, two ring, and then pow, I'm piling in. Yes. And my pants aren't even up yet. They're coming in. And it's like, turn down. Uh, no, turn down. Uh, no, I'm all, no, we don't need me. Now, here's the thing about the turn down service. Here's the deal. There should be no turn down service.

20:26 Drew Unless you request.

20:27 Adam And there should be a box you fill out.

20:29 Drew Yeah, or the light you turn on or something.

20:31 Adam You know, you know, when you check into a hotel.

20:33 Drew Yes, for the newspaper.

20:36 Adam No, when you check in, they do that thing. Smoking or non-smoking. You want the queen, the double. You want two beds. You want the twin. You want the count.

20:44 Drew But let's face it, it's going to be the nice hotels. You want the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal. Do you want breakfast in the morning?

20:48 Adam When you're checking in.

20:49 Drew Do you want turn down service?

20:51 Adam No.

20:52 Drew Or what time do you want to turn down service?

20:53 Adam Now, forget about what time. I'll give an extra 50 bucks if you don't give a goddamn turn down service.

20:58 Drew All right, there you go. All right? There you go.

20:59 Adam All right.

21:00 Drew Trump into that. We're in Trump's hotel.

21:02 Adam All right. By the way, I'm still going by the Vicar of Christ, if anyone wants to know.

21:08 Drew Oh, we don't have a new pope yet, huh? So you retain that moniker. All right. Vicar? Yeah.

21:15 Should we?

21:17 Adam What do you want to do?

21:17 Drew Take some calls? Well, we're right on the cusp here. We could actually go to break on time.

21:23 Adam Yeah. Why break our streak? Let me say this, though. Drew was on the Internet tonight looking at our new Loveline cartoon.

21:31 Drew Yes.

21:32 Adam We've had it. This will be the third, I believe.

21:35 Drew Third installment.

21:36 Adam First two, very entertaining. Drew was on the Internet tonight. Couldn't get sound on it.

21:41 Drew So we're just watching it.

21:42 Adam Yeah.

21:42 Drew Laughing our ass off.

21:43 Adam It looked good. It always looks good, but we weren't able to hear it. Maybe we could hear it. Maybe Anderson can find it and play it.

21:50 Drew Can you do that, Anderson?

21:52 Adam I bet he could.

21:52 Yeah, you could just hear the audio, but you wouldn't be able to see it that way.

21:55 Adam Just hear the audio.

21:56 Drew We'd like to hear it because we've seen it now and we can't get the audio.

21:58 Adam No. And then the other people are listening to the show. Well, it's a radio show. What do you want?

22:02 Drew Can you play it?

22:03 Adam You could play it.

22:04 Drew Right now. Right now?

22:05 Adam No, not right now.

22:06 Drew It's 10 to 11.

22:06 Adam No, not right now. Come on, buddy.

22:08 Drew We've got to take a break. All right. Take a break.

22:10 Come on, buddy.

22:10 Adam It's two minutes long. Listen to Adam.

22:12 He says we should break. We're breaking.

22:14 Adam The Voice of Reason. So here's what we'll do. And you could give the website out so people could go see the new cartoon.

22:19 Drew There you go. The Vicar Voice of Reason.

22:21 Adam Thank you. We'll take a quick break. Drew, who are we going to talk to when we come back?

22:26 Drew I'm kind of decide about that. I'm thinkin Jim, who was a premature E guy. No?

22:32 Adam It's not a flow of my boat.

22:35 Drew Five years with boyfriend, never had sex, and freaked out about doing it. Yeah, yeah. 24-year-old. Been five years with the guy, and now it's gettin weird.

22:41 Adam Wow. Now you're talkin.

22:43 Drew All right.

22:43 Adam That and the latest installment of the Loveline cartoon after this. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm the Vicar of Christ. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191.

23:07 Drew Vicar.

23:08 Adam Wait a minute, what night is this? Is it Thursday?

23:10 Drew What's up, Vicar?

23:11 Adam No, we're not in town tomorrow. Well, we are in town tomorrow, but no radio show tomorrow.

23:15 Drew No, no.

23:16 Adam I got a little screwed up on my calendar. All right, Drew and I were speaking during the break about the mail cheese spot.

23:23 Drew Yeah, I was doing some man-on-the-street work for Discovery Health Channel. Interviewed a gay guy. Every gay male I talk to, I'm sort of curious about this male g-spot thing, is I have rarely interacted with a straight male that is interested in having his prostate massaged during sex, having a finger up the rectum on the prostate massage. And the women's magazines have made such a deal about that. Have they? Yeah, they did. And women were like trying against other guys, like, hey, hey, hey, hey, stop. Not interested. Yeah. And this guy, this guy said, is why they just don't know how to do it. They just don't understand the man. Only a man can please a man. There's this kind of stuff. And they just don't understand that. And I'm thinking, no, I don't care. I don't care what you're doing with that. It ain't going to be good for me.

24:04 Adam I got to tell you, I would rather have a gay guy's finger up my ass than let's say a black woman.

24:11 Drew You don't like the fingernails.

24:12 Adam They get huge, you know, with unicorns, airbrush.

24:16 Drew Yeah. Yeah. And they curve a little bit too. And they might scrape it back. Yeah.

24:20 Adam And then she would come, she would go in to massage my prostate and come out with my prostate. Be like a kebab.

24:28 Drew Yeah.

24:29 Adam Prostab.

24:31 Drew Prost Kebab.

24:32 Adam Prost Kebab. Yeah. World's greatest magician of the 19th century. The amazing Prost Kebab. Yeah, it's going to make a semen disappear.

24:41 Drew No, prostate kebab would not be a good thing. Prostate scrapings.

24:45 Adam I'm just saying.

24:46 Drew But you're giving some ideas for how to do prostate biopsies though. It's an interesting idea.

24:50 Adam Here's the, yes, here's the whole thing about the whole prostate thing. And here's the thing. Here's what guys want. Guys want a hot chick that turned on.

24:58 Drew Period. And a story.

24:59 Adam And then the second thing they want.

25:01 Drew Whatever that means to him.

25:02 Adam Whatever it means to him. It's usually hot blonde. But the point is, is guys want what they want. And then the next thing they want is what they want sort of from a stimulation standpoint. You're a BJ guy. You're a doggy style guy.

25:15 Drew What's your sweet spot is the thing.

25:17 Adam That's right. That's right. What is, what do you do? What do you like? And the finger in the ass, finger in the ass is less than one percent. For straight guys, finger in the ass is I'm high out of my mind and I'm looking to push the envelope.

25:34 Drew Yeah, or I don't like who I'm with or whatever. But even then it's like, why? Why? Why?

25:37 Adam Right.

25:38 Drew Just move along. Right. And so, but my question, why are all the gay guys so into it? Is it something about that wiring?

25:45 Adam You know what I'm saying? Gay guys.

25:48 Drew And this guy, by the way, confirmed the business about mutual masturbation, oral sex, as the predominant means of sexual interaction with gay men.

25:56 Adam Yeah, I would say one of the greatest disappointments of my comedic career is that the whole cornholing thing with the gay guys is probably 20% of them, maybe less.

26:07 Drew Yeah, and this guy would say it's unsafe and the guys would do that.

26:09 Adam It's really about BJs and mutual masturbation.

26:12 Drew Yeah.

26:12 Adam And then general debauchery, don't get me wrong, but the anal sex.

26:16 Drew Meaning like glory holes and etc.

26:17 Adam Yeah, that kind of thing. But the anal sex, not-

26:20 Drew General debauchery.

26:21 Adam Not at the, I majored in that in college. Yeah, yeah, GD. The thing about it is the anal sex, not at the top of even the gay man's.

26:33 Drew Right, that's right. But they like the stimulation of the G spot.

26:36 Adam Well, if you can get yourself a BJ and have your prostate stimulated, I don't know.

26:43 Drew No.

26:43 Adam I don't know. Now when we- So cartoon. When we left off, we were talking to Anderson about our latest installment for our Loveline cartoon. Who does he sing through?

26:56 Drew Michael Naran.

26:57 Adam Michael Naran, very talented illustrator.

27:00 Drew Anderson, can you give her the website out maybe so people can find it?

27:03 Yeah, that's tough.

27:04 Adam It's tough.

27:05 Drew Can you give the website out?

27:06 Adam It's gonna be too tough.

27:08 What does that mean? It's one of those ones where it just goes on and on and on.

27:12 Adam All right, that's too much to do.

27:14 Drew Put it up on Loveline Companion.

27:15 It's already there.

27:16 Adam All right, go to the Loveline Companion. You can see it. There's been two before this. This is the third. Drew pulled it up tonight, but there's no audio.

27:26 Drew No, no, we didn't have a computer with audio.

27:28 Adam Oh, we don't have a computer with audio?

27:29 Drew I couldn't find a computer with audio. That was the problem.

27:31 Yeah, that's tough.

27:32 Adam All right. All right.

27:33 Well, seeing Drew's smug face on it is, I think, my favorite part.

27:37 Drew It was as an infant? No, not before that. It's very funny.

27:41 Adam If you have it, even in the audio form, let's just hear it. What the hell?

27:45 All right, you have to give me a second because I have to push refresh, and the computer is behind me, so bear with me.

27:49 Adam All right. Let's go spin the chair around and refresh things.

27:52 Drew That's tough.

27:53 Adam That's tough. Speaking of refresh, you know, oh, here it is.

27:58 Drew Nice music.

27:59 It's a long intro. It's a rough intro.

28:01 Drew Well, speaking of refresh, what?

28:03 Adam I like those hot towels they give you in first class.

28:05 Drew Oh, sure.

28:06 Adam But they go from molten hot to freezing cold.

28:09 Drew In four seconds.

28:10 Adam That's six.

28:10 Drew We open it, gone.

28:12 People are going to think this is the cartoon, guys. You're confusing them.

28:14 Drew Okay, here we go.

28:15 Caller Here we go.

28:20 Adam Casey?

28:22 Caller Hi.

28:22 Adam You're 17?

28:24 Caller Yep.

28:24 Adam What's up, baby doll?

28:26 Caller Well, I've been listening to the show for about a year, and in that time, I've kind of developed an interest in what Dr. Drew does, so I kind of want to do it.

28:36 Adam Stepping on my jokes? Is that what you want to make your living doing?

28:40 Caller Addiction medicine.

28:41 Adam Oh, oh, the other thing he does, yeah. All right.

28:44 Caller That thing.

28:45 Drew If you really want to practice addiction medicine, the two routes to that is first you do either an internal medicine or a psychiatric residency, and then you do a fellowship in addiction medicine. Just get the best possible rates you can and let me let me let me try to let me try to figure this out.

29:02 Adam Well, what what did you do in high school? What was your SAT? And by the way, Drew took his first PSAT before he left his mom's womb. His dad actually balled it up and sent it up or they used to do it at the bank. That's what Drew's dad did with Drew's mom. Just fired that pneumatic tube right up. They got the PSAT. Drew got a 1265, 1270, I believe your dad told me. He thought it was decent for a zygote, but would have liked to seat it up around 1300. Drew's sister got a 1300.

29:37 He couldn't figure out why Drew couldn't get that.

29:39 Adam He sent another one up there on the third trimester and Drew scored a little better although the math was off. He claims it was dark. Then when he came down, when he came out, before they cut the umbilical cord and wiped the smegma from his eye, they actually had him take his third...

29:55 Drew That's smegma, it's meconium.

29:56 Adam Meconium from his eye. That was on the test. He took his third PSAT. So by the time he'd actually got to a senior year over at Little Lord Fauntleroy School for albino hemophiliac, he'd taken the PSATs 66 times.

30:15 Drew Three times a year.

30:15 Adam That's right, and that's why I got the big 1470 on the finished one. Oh, is that it?

30:24 Drew That's it.

30:26 Adam It keeps, maybe it keeps going.

30:28 Drew No, I think so, because that was me shifting, looking through the 65, 65 tests in the briefcase, and the other guys holding up their higher scores.

30:36 Adam Yes, I was enjoying that.

30:38 That was well done.

30:39 Adam Yeah, well done.

30:40 Drew Oh my God, do we really go on like that about things?

30:43 Adam I think maybe we do.

30:44 That was a very cut version. Oh, what, we actually? About eight minutes long, I think.

30:49 Adam Yeah, maybe more like 10 minutes. There you go. But it worked out well.

30:53 Drew The pneumatic tubes, here's the thing, when you're just going on, Adam, unfortunately, I don't actually create visual images of what you're talking about. When the visual images are actually created, it's pretty gruesome.

31:03 Adam That's funny, though. That's funny, though. Yeah, all right, so everyone should go to the Loveline companion. Pneumatic tubes. And they could see that. Yeah, those were those, it's the best part about going to the service bay of the car dealership, where they put, they go ahead.

31:16 Drew We used to have them in the hospitals, too. Oh, really? Yeah.

31:20 Adam They put your paperwork in one of those suction vacuum tubes, and it's right up the tube, and it shoots around, it goes to the front, it goes right to the clerk at the front desk. What do you use them for in the hospital, abortions?

31:32 No, no.

31:34 Drew Yeah, well, yeah, of course. But no, for sending around the requisitions for labs and x-rays and go to the different departments.

31:40 Adam Well, what do they do now? It's all computers?

31:42 Drew Yeah, it's computer now.

31:44 Adam Yeah, it's bizarre that there was an actual suction tube that carried that stuff.

31:49 Drew Yeah, you needed a tube to send it around.

31:51 Adam All right. Where are we, Drew? Who are we talking to?

31:53 Drew Here we go. Let's go to John, who's 27.

31:55 Adam John?

31:56 Caller Hey, what's up?

31:57 Adam What's up?

31:58 Caller How you doing?

31:59 Adam Good.

31:59 Caller I've been listening to you guys for a while, Adam. I think you're hysterical. Thanks. And I'm glad you're not doing the Man Show as much anymore.

32:06 Adam Yeah. Well, it's not at all. So let's go.

32:09 Drew Not at all.

32:09 Caller Perfect.

32:10 Caller Well, there you go.

32:11 Caller So you see my question?

32:14 Adam No, I don't see it.

32:15 Drew What's your question?

32:16 Caller Well, I want to know if it's possible to create hepatitis or any other disease by any oral sex within the anal area between two people who are both clean and free of STDs.

32:31 Drew Let me make sure I get this right. You mean by someone's putting their mouth on somebody's anii?

32:37 Caller Correct.

32:38 Drew And something spontaneously occurring?

32:40 Adam Oral fecal route, Drew.

32:42 Drew Yes, I understand. But he's saying people that don't have anything.

32:44 Caller It would kind of make sense that putting your mouth or your tongue on an area that's not clean could create some sort of infection or disease.

32:55 Drew Yeah, if you have a disease to transmit.

32:57 Adam Well, I think a lot of people think that fecal matter is sort of polluted.

33:02 Drew Well, it's got gram-negative bacteria and anaerobic bacteria. And if you had an open wound, that certainly could infect the wound.

33:10 Adam Right.

33:10 Drew But a normal mouth should be able to fend against that kind of thing.

33:13 Adam Yeah, but...

33:14 Caller An open stomach has nothing to do with it.

33:16 Drew Nothing. If you're eating feces is what you're saying?

33:20 Caller Well, more or less.

33:21 Drew Yeah, no, an open stomach has nothing to do with it. The problem with the oral fecal contamination is that there's lots of bacteria that can cause pathology passed around that way. Salmonella, shigella, campylobacter, enterotoxigenic E coli...

33:38 Adam Shigella is my Jewish name, by the way. It's my Hebrew name.

33:41 Drew It's your middle name.

33:42 Adam Adam.

33:43 Drew Moisha, shigella.

33:43 Adam Oh, my mom would yell for me. I'd say, Shigella! It was time to eat.

33:51 Drew So, this, you know, and then, of course, there are viral illnesses like hepatitis B. You could get that way. Hepatitis C.

33:57 Adam But the question is, and the point is, is if nothing exists in the stool, then you can't get anything except for...

34:05 Drew No more, let's put it this way, no more than you could say from rubbing dirt into a wound. There's bacteria in the dirt and ground, too.

34:12 Adam Right.

34:12 Drew And it's a similar kind of a phenomenon.

34:14 Adam Put him on hold, but let's explore this a little bit more for a second.

34:17 Drew Oh, please, this is fascinating.

34:18 Adam You have an opened wound in your mouth.

34:21 Drew Okay, let's say...

34:22 Adam You decide to give somebody an anal tongue lashing. They have nothing, they have no Hep C, they have no Shigella, but yet what's coming out of them is sort of contaminated.

34:37 Drew It's got bacteria in it.

34:38 Adam But with nothing specific, is that how it works?

34:40 Drew They're specific, but they're not automatically gonna cause disease. For instance, your mouth has tons of bacteria in it, too.

34:47 Adam How dare you?

34:48 Drew My mouth has tons of bacteria in it. And yet if I could get bleeding gum or a cold sore or something, it's not gonna automatically become infectious. You're not gonna get a wound infection there. So it's not, in an environment it's not easy to get infection.

34:59 Adam You're not gonna create Hepatitis C out of thin air, just like you're not gonna create HIV out of thin air.

35:05 Drew Just like you're not gonna crack malaria out of thin air. These things aren't spontaneously the result of it.

35:11 Adam But you can still get an infection through the oral because unlike urine, it is not sterile.

35:18 Drew Right, and in fact, the bacteria that are in the bowel are the most common cause of urinary tract infections. They're close by, they find they were into that sterile area and grow and cause infection.

35:30 Adam This is why whenever someone performs the oral on my A&I, I give them a good hosing down with urine because I swab it out, yeah, when it disinfected.

35:40 Drew Sure, sure, with some sterile fluid, yeah, of course.

35:42 Adam I'm like Sir Walter Raleigh.

35:45 Drew Fon LaRoy. Yeah, here we go. Moving right along. Jim, 33.

35:51 Caller Hi, how you doing?

35:52 Drew Good. Good.

35:54 Caller Long time listener, first time caller. Great. My question basically is to Dr. Drew. And I'm 33 years old and basically I've never been able to obtain any type of penis control. And I'm just wondering if there's something that can be done to correct that. And basically what I mean is I tend to not be able to hold back an orgasm. Literally within a couple of minutes I have an orgasm. Unless I'm inebriated and if I'm inebriated then I'm like Superman.

36:28 Drew Do you have a girlfriend?

36:30 Caller No.

36:31 Drew Have you ever had a girlfriend?

36:32 Caller Oh yeah definitely. I've been married and you know I have a couple of kids and...

36:36 Drew Alright when you were married didn't you kind of work this out a little bit?

36:40 Caller No.

36:41 Drew You didn't work it out?

36:43 Caller No.

36:44 Drew Did you?

36:44 Caller Not at all.

36:45 Adam Well look he's 33. He's not going to change and he's been married.

36:50 Drew He can start masturbating more or something.

36:52 Adam I don't know maybe he should get on those drugs we're talking about.

36:54 Drew Well there will be some medicines coming out in the next couple of years that are specifically designed for this and they are basically the same class as the antidepressant medicines but they're very short acting so they just stay in your system a few hours and maybe double your time.

37:08 Boring!

37:09 Adam Well here's the thing. Put them on hold. Let's talk about this for a second. Once a month we discuss this. Maybe once every 15 minutes but everybody wants to correct their problems in life and it is genetic. There's one guy who has an orgasm in one minute and there's another guy who has an orgasm in one hour. We live in a society where the guy who has an orgasm in one minute is seeking advice from the guy who has an orgasm in one hour.

37:46 Drew Think about that orientation, that primitive man. Give me the wisdom.

37:49 Adam Give me the wisdom. I think they call it gistim in this point.

37:52 Drew Give me the gistim to be the one hour man.

37:55 Adam It would be just like me talking to Michael Jordan, help me dunk the basketball.

38:01 Drew Tell me what I need to do.

38:02 Adam Tell me what I need to do. Well, you need a 33 inch vertical leap. I got a 12 inch vertical leap. Well, then you can't dunk. But I see you do it. Just explain to me how to do it.

38:12 Drew Explain it.

38:13 Adam Palm the ball with one hand and then just reach it out over your head, take off from the free throw line and jam at home. Okay, better yet, write a book. Write a book. Don't go read the book. And then come out the video. It's the same thing. It really is. There's a certain percentage of guys that bust a nut in one minute. There's a certain percentage of guys who do it in an hour.

38:35 Drew But guess what?

38:36 Adam And then there's everyone who's in between.

38:37 Drew There's all kinds of ways to work around that and to modify and to, you know, this is not a...

38:41 Adam Oral sex is a good way to do that.

38:44 Drew Is masturbating beforehand okay?

38:46 Adam It could help. And then after that, it just starts getting into pharmacology.

38:51 Drew And the pharmacology.

38:52 Adam But there's really not advice you can give on that.

38:54 Drew No, no advice.

38:55 Adam Now, if you're 15 and you're super anxious, maybe we can talk to you. But if you're 33 and you're divorced...

39:02 Drew Where are we going with that?

39:03 Adam That's about it.

39:04 Drew Yeah.

39:05 Adam So...

39:05 Drew So he's just packing in is what you're saying?

39:07 Adam No, this guy needs to get with a partner and sort of work it out. And I would say...

39:12 Drew There are a lot of women that would just prefer the oral sex like the guy to sort of finish...

39:16 Adam A lot?

39:17 Drew All.

39:18 Adam All.

39:19 Drew You better hope.

39:20 Caller All.

39:21 Drew Oh, dude.

39:22 Adam Oh, yeah.

39:23 Drew All of them?

39:23 Adam Yeah. Everyone. Except my mom. I haven't tested the theory on her yet, but she's still on my list. I'm sure I haven't gotten around to it. But yeah, you got to work with it. There's really nothing we can tell you. But maybe when these serotonin reuptake inhibitor drugs, the short acting ones come out, you can try that.

39:45 Yeah. All right.

39:47 Adam Let's take a break. We'll be right back after this. Hey, buddy, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. True.

40:10 Drew Tell the folks you're a VIP room star again. It's pretty revealing.

40:13 Adam Well, phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-191. I was, you want me up on it? I'm at, all right.

40:21 Drew He's swallowing the damn thing.

40:23 Adam Yeah, good thing.

40:24 Drew Good thing I'm used to it.

40:26 Adam Who's him, by the way? Ken hit the skids a long time ago. He's long gone. All right, am I close enough?

40:34 Yeah, you're still lower than Drew, but I guess I have to live with it.

40:38 Drew That's your dream come true. What are you talking about?

40:39 Adam Test, one, two, test.

40:40 I don't want to disappoint him.

40:42 Adam Yeah, he knows where his bread is, buddy.

40:45 Drew He knows where the cash register is.

40:47 Adam Right here, buddy. When I was saying to Drew during the breaks, There he is, that's Ken. I went to this.

40:52 Drew Adam, look, he's here.

40:53 Adam Oh, Ken, yeah, pop me up a little there, brother. Test, one, two, thank you. I went to Soho House tonight, very exclusive. It's a club. It's where you get, you have, you have memberships.

41:07 Drew I'm talking about looking for Fauntleroy, please.

41:10 Adam Yeah, this is-

41:10 Drew I don't go to clubs.

41:12 Adam Well, I got invited and I don't make the scene very often, but I was sitting at a table, you know, next to Keith Richards and that kind of stuff. And it's just cool happening. I got to believe whatever the scene is in Los Angeles in terms of being seen, go ahead and put three zeros behind that for Manhattan and New York City.

41:32 In terms of what?

41:33 Adam Just being seen.

41:35 Drew Well, it's more concentrated.

41:37 Adam It's more concentrated and there's more people focused on making the scene and being seen.

41:42 Drew Way more so, yeah.

41:43 Adam Because otherwise, why would you want to have a drink in an area that you couldn't hear- you can't have a conversation that's too loud. Right. You know, that kind of thing. People are bumping in to you and, you know, they're like, you know, they're taking their jacket and it's draping it over your chair. And so it's too tight. So anyway, I said, I was saying to Drew during the commercial break that New York is sort of about exclusivity. It's not really about how great some of these little clubs are, these little hole-in-the-wall places are. It's that you can't get in and that makes you want to go in. But then once you get in, it's just a room with a sofa in it.

42:20 Drew Because it's just all about finite space.

42:22 Adam Right. There's millions of people. There's a very limited amount of space, and therefore only the cool people get this limited amount of space. And once you get into the space, your attitude is like, what's so great about this?

42:37 Drew What am I doing here?

42:38 Adam And the answer is, I'll tell you what's so great about it. See all the people out there? They want to be here. And my question is, yeah, but what is good? What's that great about? Why does that make this good? Don't worry about what's going on in here. Worry about all them wanting to get in here and take your place.

42:54 That's right.

42:55 Adam And that's what New York is about. And it's really, New York in that way captures a sort of human essence sort of thing, which is, I want what's over there, and I want whatever all those other people want. And there's a line, I want to be at the front of it.

43:14 Yes.

43:15 Adam Here's the line. This line is, you're raped with a bowling pin. I don't care, I want to get to the front. Or better yet, I want to know somebody. Like, I'm hanging with Derek Jeter. We can go right to the front of the line and get raped by the bowling pin. It's gonna be awesome. Because really, when you just sort of break the club down or the thing down. Look, I could understand if you were getting rub downs or BJs or there was free booze or something. It's not, you just go up to some small little cramped area, hang out with a bunch of other people that feel lucky to be there and more yet feel disdain for those who want to be there. And then you just pay 11 bucks for a drink.

43:55 Drew Perfect.

43:55 Adam All right. Where are we going?

43:57 Drew I also feel there's a similar kind of thing with automobiles here. There's some crazy exotic cars, like crazy Ferraris and Rolls Royces. And how come? We're driving.

44:07 Adam Oh, we know one. Yeah, I don't know. I drove. I had I was hanging out with M&M's manager tonight.

44:14 Drew And you mentioned that we, yes, you were hanging out with the cool people.

44:17 Adam We got that cool people.

44:19 Drew Yes, we understand.

44:20 Adam No, no, I mentioned it once. How dare you?

44:22 I'm going to need Drew's levels up a little. Sorry.

44:24 Drew Yeah, now you got to put Drew up. Forget that.

44:27 Adam He had this Ford excursion that had this, the whole thing was gutted out and turned into this sort of limo. It had seats facing each other.

44:38 Caller Wow.

44:38 Adam In the back.

44:39 Drew Interesting.

44:40 Adam Yeah.

44:40 Caller Yeah.

44:40 Adam It was all like a, you know, the the divider that goes up in between like what? Limo divider. It was a flat screen. Oh, it's like a 42 inch flat screen that went up.

44:50 Drew Perfect.

44:50 Yeah.

44:51 Drew Cool.

44:51 Adam Yeah.

44:52 Yeah.

44:52 Adam Yeah.

44:52 Drew All right. Here's Jason 28. I've had enough of that crap.

44:55 Caller How you doing?

44:57 Adam Jason?

44:57 Caller Good. I just had a quick question for Dr. Drew. Growing up in teenage years, I actually developed a lump that was not right on the testicle, but just a little bit above the testicle. And now, embarrassment and not really having any effect of it. I didn't get it checked until a couple of years ago, which my PCP said automatically shined a light through. It said it's a hydrocele. But then he sent me over to a urologist who kind of did just a little quick filling around, and the urologist said it was a spermatocele without an x-ray, without an MRI.

45:29 Drew No, hydrocele is the more general category, meaning if just a fluid filled cyst, spermatocele means that fluid is sperm, and he's probably basing that on the location just off your epididymis.

45:41 Adam Spermatocele is also my heme brunei.

45:43 Drew And you really can't know for sure what's in it till they stick a needle in there. And there's no reason to do that.

45:49 Caller They told me that removing either one of them is purely cosmetic.

45:54 Drew That's right. That's why you wouldn't put a needle in there either, because there's no reason for it.

45:57 Caller Why not?

45:58 Drew Why? Just because you have a needle in your nut, is that important to you? Whether it's just some sort of seminal fluid, or whether it's sperm, or whether it's blood, which is called a varicoseal, they don't do anything, they just sit there, and as you know, they don't change, for the most part. Right. And there's some concern that in certain...

46:17 Adam What's a spermatoseal?

46:19 Drew The fluid.

46:19 Adam Hydroseal is water or fluid.

46:21 Drew It just says fluid. Fluid filled cyst.

46:24 Adam What's spermatoseal?

46:25 Drew Sperm filled cyst.

46:26 Adam Really?

46:27 Drew Yeah.

46:27 Adam Doesn't that make you gay?

46:29 Drew No.

46:30 Adam Really?

46:31 Caller Absolutely not.

46:32 Adam I think that would make you gay, dude. You got some jizz in your sack, and it's like separate, you know?

46:40 Drew No.

46:41 Adam Okay. And then the third one is filled with blood?

46:44 Drew Hydroseal. Yeah. Varicoseal. Varicose vein, basically. Or a small vein.

46:48 Adam Either way, you don't monkey.

46:50 Drew You don't monkey unless they start swelling, and there's vague concern that it might have something to do with the fertility sometimes, so if you ever have a problem, they might say, oh, let's take that out, but that's very, that's not necessarily the case.

47:00 Adam But you sure spermatoseal doesn't make you gay, dude?

47:03 Drew No, dude, don't.

47:05 Adam No?

47:05 Drew No, dude. Here's Lawrence. He's 25.

47:08 Dude, we gotta go to break, dude.

47:10 Drew We do, oh my goodness, we do.

47:11 Adam Yeah, I'm looking at the clock.

47:13 Drew I'm sorry, here you are.

47:13 Adam We gotta go to break, dude.

47:14 Drew Ooh, I keep hanging up on people.

47:16 Adam All right, dude, well, who cares? We'll take a quick break. Are you sure it doesn't make you gay? I'm almost sure it makes you gay.

47:23 Drew I'm sure it doesn't.

47:24 Adam Okay, dude. Take a quick break, we'll be right back after this. And that is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-DELLO-VE-191-ER.

47:50 Drew Drew? Here we go.

47:51 Adam Here we go.

47:51 Drew Right to calls. Here's a Drew 28.

47:53 Adam Drew?

47:54 Caller Uh-oh, it's not working, hold on.

47:59 Drew Oh, no, is his computer screwed up? Oh, good times. All right.

48:05 Adam What's going on?

48:06 Drew We're gonna have to reboot.

48:08 Adam What happened?

48:09 Drew It's just not working.

48:10 Caller Hey, hello?

48:11 Drew Well, there he is. Drew?

48:12 Caller Hey.

48:13 Adam No, it's Grover.

48:13 Caller Grover, what's up, my Vicka?

48:15 Adam What's happening, Grover?

48:17 Caller I got a Germany or Florida for you.

48:19 Drew What's up, Vicka?

48:19 Caller Perfect.

48:20 Drew I saw a great Germany thing today. I wonder if he's gonna bring this up.

48:23 Go ahead.

48:24 Caller Okay. Oh, Adam, first, I have a piece of automobile trivia that's actually Pope related that I think you might enjoy.

48:30 Drew Have you called before? I recognize his voice.

48:33 Adam Who cares? I love Grover.

48:34 Drew Have you called before?

48:35 Caller Uh, yeah.

48:36 Drew I recognize his voice.

48:38 Adam Yeah.

48:38 Drew You do everything.

48:39 Adam Well, it sounds lucid. That's why. Go ahead, Grover.

48:42 Caller Okay, it's Eric, but whatever.

48:46 Drew Eric gets loaded and calls us. He's that guy who gets drunk and calls us.

48:49 Adam I don't care. I'm just so happy to have someone who speaks English.

48:53 Drew Go ahead.

48:53 Caller Okay.

48:55 Caller You got me?

48:56 Drew Yeah.

48:57 Caller Okay.

48:57 Caller You know how the other night you were talking about in the early 50s, they wheeled the Pope around until his nose fell off? Well, if you know in the Volkswagen bug, on the rear of a Volkswagen bug, right above the license plate, there's that little handle thing that sticks out. In the early 50s, that's called the Pope's nose.

49:16 Adam Oh, really?

49:17 Caller By a Volkswagen enthusiast, yeah. And that's those old trunk lids are worth a lot of money if they have the Pope's nose on them.

49:24 Adam Well, but the Volkswagen thing, the Volkswagen thing was basically...

49:30 Drew Is that what you're talking about, a thing?

49:31 Caller I'm not talking about a thing, I'm talking about the old air-conditioning bug.

49:34 Drew He said the handle thing on the back of the Volkswagen.

49:36 Adam Oh, the handle thing.

49:37 Caller I'm sorry, did I say thing?

49:39 Adam Well, he said handle thing or something.

49:40 Drew Eric does the Adam imitations.

49:43 Caller Yeah. It's the mail room. Yeah. Yeah.

49:46 Adam Yeah. All right. That's called the post-office. Nose really, Drew, if you were decomposing, could your nose fall off?

49:52 Drew You could, if you whacked it, it would crack off. Yeah. Like just your fingers would too. I mean, anything sticking out.

49:57 Adam Yeah. But I mean, you'd have to take some channel locks to it.

50:00 Drew Yeah. You'd have to give a good force.

50:02 Adam See, I never quite buy that stuff.

50:04 Drew Maybe they're lifting him up and he hit the door jam and pow.

50:07 Adam Yeah, but they say like fell off. I was, it's sort of like when people say, oh man, he was ice skating, he hit his head and he cracked it open.

50:14 Drew Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

50:15 Adam I was like, cracked open?

50:16 Drew No, he just cut his scalp.

50:18 Adam He cut himself, right?

50:19 Drew Yeah.

50:19 Adam Yeah, okay.

50:20 Drew All right, so Eric, what's the Germany or Florida?

50:22 Caller Okay, a man was arrested at his home the morning after he attempted to break into a liquor store. He had apparently used a chain wrapped around the bumper of his Mercedes to try to pull the bars from the front doors of the store. When he accelerated away from the doors, the bumper was ripped from the car, flustered by the unexpected removal of the bumper. The man kept driving, not realizing that his license plate was still on the bumper. Germany or Florida?

50:44 Drew Now, he conveniently threw in the Mercedes thing. To put us off the scent.

50:49 Adam Part of the story.

50:51 Drew Put us off the scent. I think it's a nice diversion for us. But the liquor store and the crazy behavior, that's Florida, eh?

50:59 Adam Let me say this, though. Actually taking a chain and putting it around your bumper.

51:05 Drew That's a lot for Florida, isn't it?

51:07 Adam No, no. Your car, your Mercedes would have to be 20 years old, maybe 25 years old, to do a chain around the bumper.

51:15 Drew Yeah, you're right.

51:15 Adam Because they've been all integrated for the last 20 years plus.

51:20 Drew Oh, so that goes back to Germany, doesn't it?

51:22 Adam And, Drew, remember this? I was just thinking about this yesterday. Remember when you could tell somebody by what kind of car they drove or tell what kind of person they were by what kind of car they drove? I could say, well, this guy pulls up in a Mercedes.

51:35 Drew Yeah, yeah.

51:36 Adam There's kids in junior college who drive a Mercedes now. Yeah. I mean, maybe it's 20 years old, maybe it's just a 190 class, their parents a lease, it's $249 a month, you know what I mean? But it used to be, if somebody drove a Mercedes, there were a doctor or an attorney.

51:51 Drew Yes.

51:52 Adam They had money. Yes. The guys who drove a Mercedes, the guys who drove a Cadillac.

51:58 Drew Plus, you think to yourself, Mercedes, imagine the upkeep that guy pays. Oh my God.

52:05 Adam But I just remember like, Mercedes was a friend of yours, rich dad who was a divorced attorney.

52:11 Drew Or Porsche. Oh my God.

52:12 Adam A Porsche. Forget about it. Yeah. No, he had to be on the Grand Prix circuit when they gave it to him. So now it's a weird time because there's 22-year-old chicks or like temps who drive a Mercedes or drive a Porsche Box or something like that.

52:30 Caller Part of the reason that that might be is because back in the, are you talking about like the mid and late 70s?

52:35 Drew Yeah.

52:35 Caller Because they hadn't been importing those cars for that long. So anybody that had them must have had money. Now they've been around for 30 years.

52:41 Drew Same thing with the upkeep. There were only certain mechanics that would work on them and that kind of thing.

52:44 Adam But not only that, in general, everything is cheaper and more accessible.

52:48 Drew Also, they make cars for the masses now too. They didn't make them for just anybody back in the day.

52:52 Adam Yeah, you made a Mercedes for guys that were in their 60s and had old money.

52:56 Drew Yeah.

52:57 Adam All right, Drew, you're gonna say Florida.

53:00 I'll go Florida.

53:01 Adam I'm going Germany.

53:01 Drew Although your point is so well taken, I want to flip back to Germany with the old car.

53:05 Adam Old Mercedes. Yeah. I'm going Mercedes just because Eric over here, I think he's trying to...

53:12 Drew I'm thinking...

53:12 Adam He's trying to...

53:13 Drew Have you seen those Mercedes, those Land Cruisers, they have a bumper.

53:21 Adam I'm going Germany. I think he's screwing with us.

53:23 Drew He is screwing with us, no doubt about that. All right, you got Florida.

53:27 Adam I got Germany. Eric.

53:29 Caller Okay, well first of all, you guys went through the exact same steps that I thought you would. I did throw the Mercedes in there. It is Tallahassee, Florida. But I do have one other thing to tell you too.

53:41 Drew Yeah?

53:42 Caller In last night, you guys talking about the people who put up comic strips on their office doors and whatnot.

53:47 Adam That's Eric, for sure, for sure.

53:48 Caller If you remember, Drew, I worked a night shift with my buddy here at a print shop, and we do occasionally put up comics.

53:54 Drew Oh, I know, I'm sure.

53:55 Caller Only if the characters are positioned in such a way that we can draw like huge penises on them and we'll take family circus and make one of them give the dad a BJ while the dog is walking around and giving the kid a hand.

54:08 Drew That's okay.

54:09 Adam Yeah, that's fine.

54:09 Drew Yeah, okay.

54:10 Adam I have no quarrel with that. So did you make this car a Mercedes, by the way?

54:14 Drew Oh, I think we lost him. Are you there?

54:17 Caller Yeah.

54:17 Adam Oh, you're here.

54:18 Drew Okay, well, he wasn't actually a Mercedes in the real story?

54:22 Caller You want the truth?

54:23 Adam Yes.

54:24 Caller He was actually driving an asshole the size of a jar.

54:27 Adam Oh, is it bogus?

54:30 Drew A bogus Germany or Florida?

54:31 Adam Is it a bogus Germany or Florida?

54:33 That's sort of out of bounds.

54:35 Drew It doesn't make sense to have a bogus Germany or Florida.

54:37 Adam It's against the Geneva Convention of Germany or Florida.

54:40 Drew It was a great piece of news out of Germany or Florida today. Wait, wait, wait.

54:44 Adam Wait a minute. That was an, he told, he just told us an actual story though.

54:48 Drew Yes?

54:49 Caller In Tallahassee, Florida.

54:50 Drew So it happened in Tallahassee. You just screwed around with it a little bit.

54:53 Caller Never happened. Tallahassee, Florida.

54:56 Caller Straight out of the newspaper.

54:59 Adam Well, it happened in Tallahassee.

55:01 Caller Right. I did put the Mercedes in there to screw with you.

55:04 Adam Right, all right.

55:04 Drew That's fine.

55:05 Adam All right, please hang up on him.

55:06 Drew Don't worry.

55:08 Adam But isn't it interesting, by the way, that he said put the chain on the Mercedes bumper.

55:14 Drew Yes.

55:15 Adam And get him back because it was a pickup truck. The original thing was, uh-huh. And let me tell you something, everybody, it was a pickup truck because the only chain you can get around a bumper of any car that was made in the last 25 years is pretty much a pickup truck.

55:33 Drew That, by the way, would have said Florida, screaming Florida.

55:36 Adam Right, now here's the thing, everyone, with the Germany or Florida. You're not allowed to modify it to make it more German or more Florida.

55:44 Drew I know, it messes the whole premise of this thing up.

55:48 Adam The universe goes into a spin cycle when you do that. You can't say, you can't ask somebody to wager on something and change the odds of it. You just can't F with it.

55:59 Drew Well, it's like moving the, it's like you throw the dice down, the guy goes, no, moves the dice to switch to something. That's not a snake eyes.

56:06 Adam Yes, because-

56:07 Drew No, it's not a seven, it's snake eyes.

56:08 Adam Guy putting a chain around a Ford F-150 bumper and pulling a liquor store front off or pulling his bumper off is Florida. The Mercedes is Mercedes because the really old Mercedes are still on the road in Germany, which would have a detached front bumper. Thank you.

56:27 Drew That was a great story.

56:28 Adam How dare you? That doesn't count, by the way.

56:30 Drew No, don't worry.

56:30 Adam That does not go in the books.

56:32 Drew We can feel perfectly good about that one.

56:33 Adam No, not we, me. You got it right.

56:35 Drew I know. But listen, great story out of Florida today. They've sort of brought a new law to bear where it's made it legal to shoot at anyone who comes on your property who you feel is a threat.

56:47 Adam Wow. Good.

56:49 Drew There you go.

56:50 Adam I got no problem with that.

56:51 Drew That's a good Florida story, though, right?

56:53 Adam Yeah, yeah. But it's good. I know people really, I used to think, I grew up thinking Florida was just some vacation spot for retiring Jews. I had no idea that it was Hicksville.

57:06 Drew Well, remember, it's different parts of Florida.

57:08 Who, who?

57:09 Adam Who are you talking to? I was just there.

57:11 Drew All right. I'm looking for, still, for my Discovery Health Channel show, a male diabetic who didn't take his insulin when he was younger is now having a rectal problem because of that and or men suffering from premature ejaculation that'd be willing to come on television and talk about. This is Drew 28.

57:25 Adam Well, who do they call?

57:26 Drew They call in here 1-800-LOVE-191 and we will talk to him.

57:30 Adam Now, we're not talking to him on the air, though.

57:33 Drew No, no. Someone will. Someone will clarify. I will screen them. Can you put up line to Anderson? Something wrong with this computer.

57:42 Hold on. And making sure that he's still there because you hung up on him. Hold on. Here he goes.

57:46 Drew Drew Lawson. Drew.

57:49 Caller Nice. How's it going, Drew?

57:50 Drew What's happening?

57:52 Caller Great. Well, you know, I gave, I've been giving blood since I was about 18 years old. I'm 28 now and I've always had a clean build a house. I've always been safe and everything. And that's about a year ago. I went and gave blood and then they gave me a note saying I couldn't come back and give anymore because I showed some cells for hepatitis B. But I haven't had sex in so damn long. It was impossible from that and one of the thing that I kind of got a long schlong. So it may sometimes if I go to a lot of I travel around a lot and I go to a lot of rest areas and truck stops and whatnot. Is it possible to get hepatitis B from unclean toilets and having a dip in the water or something?

58:39 Adam Well, have you an idiot? You didn't get this is bogus 20 minutes ago.

58:44 I'm a big boy.

58:46 Adam He's got a long shlong and he's worried that when he sits in the toilet, he doesn't sit, stands at the urinal.

58:52 Drew Oh, I see.

58:53 Adam It hangs.

58:54 Caller No, I'm not talking at the urinal. I'm talking at the toilet.

58:58 Drew Yeah, if I got water, guys worry about this.

59:02 Adam What?

59:02 Drew Yes, and I know, Drew, please.

59:04 Adam You know, penis doesn't go in the water. Oh, my God.

59:09 Caller The front of the toilet.

59:11 Adam Man of passion. Penis in the water. If the toilet was overflowing, I wouldn't get my penis wet. Drew, your penis does not hang down in the water.

59:23 Caller Well, sometimes in the water is a higher level of the toilet. It's not proper. So, yeah, there's.

59:30 Drew So he's worried that he got some something that way. I've never heard of that happening.

59:36 Adam I just stick straight out. I got to put a weight on it so I don't whiz on my pants when I'm going tinkle in number two. Drew, yours goes down into the water.

59:48 Drew Oh, relax.

59:49 Adam Wow. All right, but he's full of crap. You're not going to get anything from the water.

59:53 Drew No, you're not, but he's actually worried about it.

59:55 Adam Wow.

59:55 Drew I don't understand how he got hepatitis B. I don't understand how he got hepatitis B. I, in fact, I don't even believe that you have it, frankly. What's that?

1:00:03 Adam Some abnormal cells.

1:00:04 Drew What's that mean? Yeah, get more formally tested. Exactly. I don't know quite what that means. Be retested, get formal serologic testing for that, okay?

1:00:11 Caller Okay.

1:00:12 Drew All right. It's unlikely to be this truck stop, so there we go. All right, let me go to, let me see if I can get this thing to work here. Kyle?

1:00:21 Caller Hello? Yes.

1:00:24 Drew What's happening?

1:00:25 Caller Not a whole lot. Actually, I also have that same problem on occasion.

1:00:30 Drew I don't see that.

1:00:31 Caller I'm sorry.

1:00:33 Adam What? Your penis hangs in the toilet? It gets into the water?

1:00:37 Caller On occasion, some toilets, yes.

1:00:40 Adam If you flush while you're still sitting and the water rises up, perhaps.

1:00:46 Drew We're not talking about the ones that are funneled deep with a couple, quarter inch of the base.

1:00:52 Caller No, we're talking about the regular toilet.

1:00:53 Adam Aren't the commercial-grade toilets? How high is the water level on those things? Jesus Christ. That's depressing. I don't believe it. Here's the thing. Let me tell you, for me, when I put one of those ass liners up, my penis is 50 percent farther from the water. Just that two mil thick ass liners enough to get me up above the actual, I get above the seat with the ass liner. I'm even without the ass liner, I'm even with the top of the seat.

1:01:27 Drew When you hit, when you pee, it just sprays over the edge.

1:01:30 Adam I put the ass liner, oh, put that ass liner in, I'm up. Yeah, yeah, oh, that's like a spacer for me, yeah. I just called it a spacer. I didn't even know it was for sanitation. I thought it was to get you up. Yeah.

1:01:43 Drew Like a, like a, like a, yeah. Or those seats for people in a handicapped seat.

1:01:49 Adam Yeah, the handicapped seat. Into the mic, Drew.

1:01:51 Drew All right, relax.

1:01:52 Adam All right, so what's Kyle's from?

1:01:54 Drew I don't know, let's hear it.

1:01:56 Caller All right, my question is, all right, I've been married for a little over a year and sex has just gotten, I guess, boring. And so I have taken, I guess, the liberty to fantasize and I don't know, I've been trying to come up with a way to approach my wife about either getting a boob job or possibly having a threesome and-

1:02:22 Drew How old is your wife?

1:02:24 Caller Hello? Yeah.

1:02:25 Drew How old is your wife?

1:02:26 Caller My wife is also 22.

1:02:28 Drew Why did you marry her?

1:02:29 Caller Why? Because I am totally in love with her.

1:02:32 Drew Doesn't sound like it.

1:02:35 Adam What's wrong with her boobs?

1:02:38 Caller There's nothing wrong with her boobs. I like them the way they are. I could like them better if they were bigger.

1:02:48 Drew What is going on here? Now, we got to sort of decipher this. Is this a guy who had nothing going on and grabbed the first life preserver, came along, and then all of a sudden he's got a little momentum going here and he's thinking-

1:03:02 Adam He doesn't have any momentum. His only momentum is I found someone who's willing to have sex with me.

1:03:07 Drew But then he goes out, gets a job, now all the girls are willing to talk to him or something.

1:03:11 Adam I don't think Kyle's got a good gig though. What do you do for a living, Kyle?

1:03:15 Caller What do I do for a living? I do factory work right now.

1:03:20 Drew Factory work right now.

1:03:22 Caller Yeah.

1:03:22 Drew Very bad sign.

1:03:23 Adam Some factory work.

1:03:25 Caller But I was, I mean, no. It's not that I grabbed the first girl who came around. She's gorgeous. And I'm completely happy being with her.

1:03:34 Drew Well, except that you want her to get some plastic surgery and have a threesome.

1:03:38 Caller Except sex is getting boring.

1:03:41 Drew Kyle sounds, well, first of all, my thought prize, the thought bubble that I flashed through his first was, is this bogus?

1:03:48 Adam No.

1:03:49 Drew And then it was like, wait, he's smoking? What is this?

1:03:52 Adam Well, he smokes. Here's the thing about Kyle.

1:03:54 Drew He's sort of an obstinate.

1:03:55 Adam No, Kyle has that little sociopath to him. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. He's soulless. Other people sort of exist, but not really, or they only exist to say like, oh, my wife, she's gorgeous. But she's not a separate human being.

1:04:09 Drew Not a whole being, yeah.

1:04:10 Adam Yeah, well, that's what a lot of 22-year-old guys are that way.

1:04:13 Drew Yeah, yeah, that's true.

1:04:14 Adam And I don't know, I think there's more and more of them. I don't know why. And by the way, if your name's Kyle, the percentage goes way up. Yeah, so let's talk to him a little more.

1:04:26 Drew I'm still trying to decipher this.

1:04:28 Adam Yeah. Do you have any kids?

1:04:32 Drew No, no kids. Oh, you know what? And the girls that like these guys, this is one of these bad guys, and the girl's like, oh, he's so sweet. I understand him. I was talking to a woman on the street tonight during this filming the show, which by the way, I'm still for a diabetic male with sexual dysfunction and premature E-guy. And a woman put this in a really interesting context. She goes, it's like Wendy with Peter Pan. That's what that is.

1:04:56 Adam You want to make him grow up.

1:04:58 Drew You want to save him and rescue him and all that.

1:05:00 Adam Yeah. No, Kyle, Kyle's just a little, Kyle's kind of an a-hole, but that's all right.

1:05:06 Drew Guys, as men, we look at those guys and go, oh yeah, a-hole.

1:05:09 Adam Yeah, but most 22-year-old guys are a-holes. It's just that's why you don't get married at 22.

1:05:15 Drew All right. Okay.

1:05:16 Adam All right. So Kyle, you need to not have kids. That's the first thing you need to do. All right.

1:05:24 Drew First priority.

1:05:25 Adam Fresh priority, no kids, because this thing could be over in 18 months.

1:05:28 Drew Yes. That's the road you're going down. That's where you're headed.

1:05:32 Adam Yeah. That's number one. Number two, the boob job thing, she's going to resent you. The threesome thing, she's probably going to resent you too. Probably. Definitely.

1:05:41 Drew If you're even bringing it up, she'll resent you. You do it, it's over.

1:05:43 Adam Right. So now, if she wants to get a boob job, that might be another story. We can perhaps discuss that. But something's wrong with you, Kyle. And there's a component of you. And I think there's a component of-

1:05:57 Drew This is a bogus call.

1:05:59 Adam Really?

1:06:00 Drew Yeah. Cause you're getting pretty harsh with him and I'm not getting that A-hole vibe so strongly enough for you to react that way.

1:06:08 Adam You know what I'm getting? I'm getting a casual, there's a lot of guys that are very casual about other people and how they affect that.

1:06:17 Drew No, I agree with you, but those guys usually make me insane and I'm not having that kind of reaction.

1:06:22 Adam Well, maybe it's bogus.

1:06:23 Drew Kyle, what is it?

1:06:25 Caller What is, do you think I'm making it up?

1:06:29 Drew That's basically your choice.

1:06:30 Caller Kind of choice, yeah.

1:06:33 Caller It would be, I guess you could say, no, neither. Neither.

1:06:37 Caller It's totally real.

1:06:38 Caller I mean, it's a real situation. It's my life.

1:06:42 Drew Isn't it?

1:06:43 Caller I am just trying to, I guess, think of a way where I can make sex more interesting. And those are my fantasies. Whether they have to be a reality or not, that's what's going through my head. All right.

1:07:00 Drew You relinquish that, though, the right to those kinds of, to act on those kinds of fantasies when you got married. Because all, yeah, the threesome will ruin your marriage. The boob job is fine if you want to get her that if she's interested in that. But otherwise.

1:07:14 Adam Yeah, by the way, how many dishwashers do you have to put together before you can afford a boob job?

1:07:18 Drew Right. And I just wonder how into your wife you actually are. You're 22, you've been married 18 months, or together, whatever, 18 months, and you're already done. And so you're ready, like Kleenex, ready to move on to the next, you know, box?

1:07:30 Caller I mean, yeah, it's passed through my head, how it's going to work. But I mean...

1:07:35 Drew Why did you get married so young?

1:07:37 Caller Why did I get married so young? I mean, I'm totally in love with her.

1:07:42 Drew No, hey, Kyle, cut that out. Stop it.

1:07:45 Adam Well, that's his ramp. Guys like Kyle have a ramp, too, you know?

1:07:50 Drew If you're totally in love with her, go ahead and treat her like somebody you're totally in love with.

1:07:54 Adam Well, just treat her like a human.

1:07:56 Drew Well.

1:07:56 Adam Or a separate person. Here's the thing, Kyle. One thing you learn as you get older is you don't really have to do anything about things you're thinking about. You just let it, they just pass.

1:08:07 Drew Well, you know, when you have a little energy and the testosterone go on, they don't pass.

1:08:10 Adam What's it mean? When you're younger, you get angry. Hey, I gotta get in my car, I gotta do something about it. You get horny. I gotta get in my car. Always get in your car. I gotta do something about it. Or pick up the phone. I got to do something about almost everything. Later on, it's just you get hungry and you do something about it, then that's about it. So that's how it is. You get a little older, it's like I'm angry.

1:08:32 Drew I'm sleepy, I'm hungry.

1:08:32 Adam I'm not going to do anything about it. I'm horny. I'm not going to do it. I'm hungry. Alright, let's go.

1:08:38 Drew Get in my car.

1:08:38 Adam Get in the car. We gotta do something about it.

1:08:41 Drew That's how it goes.

1:08:43 Adam Alright, let's keep going.

1:08:44 Drew No, let's go to break.

1:08:45 Adam Alright, we're going to take a break. We'll be right back after this.

1:08:48 Caller Thank you for calling Loveline. Your call will be answered in the order it seems interesting.

1:08:55 Caller 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1.

1:09:11 Adam Yeah, everybody, it's the Loveline of Adam.

1:09:13 Caller That's Dr. Drew.

1:09:16 Adam Actually, I'm the Vicar of Christ. That's the, Dr. Drew's over there.

1:09:20 Drew What's up, Vicar?

1:09:22 Adam Clumsiest doctor.

1:09:24 He's a cussie doctor, too, that mouth on him.

1:09:26 Adam He dropped the S-bomb a second ago. He's really like the nutty professor. Drew has now unplugged his laptop computer eight times via just his flailing movements.

1:09:40 Very Dr. Bruce.

1:09:41 Adam He did a, yeah, Dr. Spaz has some competition this year.

1:09:45 Drew Here's the deal, the plug for this thing is completely extended. It's on tender tension, and it doesn't plug in. It's sort of balanced into the computer. The slightest movement pouts out, and then the computer has to completely reset itself when I plug it back in.

1:10:01 Adam That's a viable excuse. The first 26 times you unplug it, but the 27th, you gotta take a little responsibility.

1:10:07 Drew Well said, well said.

1:10:09 Adam Drew also tonight took his Pepsi bottle, smacked it on the mic going toward his mouth, and then whacked it again on the mic when it was heading back for the table. He whacked it going in, he whacked it going out. Drew, one of the clumsier guys, I know it worries me that he's a doctor, because I would not let you remove something from my eye.

1:10:29 Drew You will notice I'm not a surgeon.

1:10:31 Adam Forget about surgery.

1:10:32 Drew There's a reason for that.

1:10:32 Adam If you do that thing where you tried to get that little flake of something that was on my eyeball or something, I was scared to stab something right through my brain.

1:10:40 Drew I might not do that.

1:10:41 Adam I wouldn't do that.

1:10:42 Drew Yeah, I might not do that. For the very reason you bring up here.

1:10:44 Adam Yeah, you should be confined to a wheelchair.

1:10:46 Drew You thought I was, I told you I have like paddles for hands, and you always thought it was some sort of volitional thing that I did.

1:10:53 Adam Well, no, I know you're clumsy. You just have to work extra hard not to punch the mic.

1:10:58 Drew But that's like telling somebody who's got polio when they try to walk. Polio. They have to work extra hard.

1:11:03 Adam Polio, you don't have polio.

1:11:05 Drew You know what I'm saying? But the point is, yes, I should be able to do better than the person polio, but I am handicapped when it comes to the...

1:11:12 Adam Let me explain what you have to do. You have to act like someone who's driving someone else's very nice car. You have to back out slowly. You have to look to your right and your left. You know that thing, like, you know when you're driving your own car, you just sort of zoom it around, cut in quarters, that kind of stuff, and then you're driving a really nice car and you go extra wide? That's what you need to do around the microphone.

1:11:36 Drew Oh yes, and around this computer now, too.

1:11:38 Adam All right, let's keep on keeping on. Who are we talking to?

1:11:41 Drew We can't until this computer goes back up.

1:11:42 Adam Oh really?

1:11:43 Drew You can start talking about high school football, though. This is your chance.

1:11:45 Oh, man.

1:11:46 Adam No, no, no, we got calls, man. They call me Captain Crunch.

1:11:48 Drew All right, well, I can't see them. We'll put it on line.

1:11:50 There's Sarah on line five. She's a runner and she peed.

1:11:52 Drew No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I want to talk to Sarah. Line three was what I wanted to talk to.

1:11:56 Adam I want to talk to Sarah.

1:11:57 Drew Go to line three, please.

1:12:00 Hello?

1:12:01 Caller Hello?

1:12:02 Drew Hi, what's this? What's the question?

1:12:04 Caller This is Mic Micah. Yeah. My question is I just, my wife is pregnant and she's about six and a half months along and I work really long hours and she's just, I try as hard as I can to get her aroused sexually, but she's just not into it at all. And I'm just kind of wondering if you guys have any suggestions. I mean, anything I could do to.

1:12:27 Drew Yeah, you could masturbate. Calm down, dude. She's pregnant. She needs your support. And in the third trimester, she may start getting very aroused. Some women get super aroused during that last trimester. And you can have sex then. That's fine. But in the meantime, if she isn't, this is your time to be a husband and a father. Suck it up a little bit.

1:12:48 Adam And a spanker.

1:12:49 Drew And a spanker is a way of being a father and a husband.

1:12:51 Adam Well, whatever she is, when you're pregnant, whatever you want, that's what you get.

1:12:56 Drew Whatever she wants.

1:12:58 Adam Yeah, I mean, that's what I mean. Yeah, when you're pregnant. Yeah, whatever you want, that's what you get. What one gets. Yes. She wants some sherbert. You get a sherbert. She wants to be left alone sexually. You leave her alone sexually. Well, don't people want sherbert anymore?

1:13:12 Caller I'm sorry. What was that?

1:13:13 Adam What about ice cream and sardines? What was it? What was the thing people used to crave?

1:13:18 Drew Anchovies.

1:13:19 Adam It was anchovies and ice cream or something.

1:13:22 Drew Pickles. Ice cream and pickles.

1:13:23 Adam Pickles was one of those things. Yeah.

1:13:25 Drew Let's bring that humor back. We need that humor back to it. With the quicksands and the souffle, we need pickles and ice cream humor.

1:13:30 Adam Right. What happened to Sherbert? Quiet down, Michael.

1:13:35 Drew What happened to Sherbert?

1:13:36 Adam I like Sherbert.

1:13:36 Drew He was replaced by Gelato.

1:13:38 Adam Is that what it was? I thought it was Gelati, not Gelato. Here's my point. Sherbert was replaced.

1:13:46 Drew Yes.

1:13:47 Adam All right.

1:13:48 Drew Good times. Huh? Okay. This now is Eric, who's 30.

1:13:53 Caller Hello.

1:13:54 Adam Hello.

1:13:54 Drew What's up?

1:13:55 Caller I was met with a comment about when you guys were talking about the male G-spot.

1:13:59 Drew Yeah.

1:14:00 Caller The first time that I experienced that the girl didn't actually stick her finger up my hole, she just actually rubbed basically on the outside of it and was very stimulating.

1:14:13 Drew Okay. That's not a G-spot. That's anal stimulation.

1:14:16 Adam Well, wait. The outside.

1:14:18 Drew She just rubbed on the outside.

1:14:19 Caller Just like around the rim.

1:14:21 Adam All right.

1:14:21 Drew That's why they have the rim jobs because the guys find that stimulating. That's not some sort of crazy neurological bundle.

1:14:28 Caller I never considered it or called it a G-spot myself.

1:14:31 Drew It's not a G-spot.

1:14:32 Adam Well, look, it felt good.

1:14:33 Drew It felt good.

1:14:34 Adam It was stimulating.

1:14:35 Caller I'm just saying for guys that don't like the idea of having something stuck up their a-hole, you know, alternative method. I enjoy it, but that's just me.

1:14:48 Drew Oh, of course.

1:14:49 Adam That's you.

1:14:50 Caller It's doing a public service, though.

1:14:52 Drew Yeah.

1:14:52 Caller Sure.

1:14:53 Drew Thank you.

1:14:53 Adam All right. He liked that. Noted. Okay.

1:14:55 Drew Very much. Here's a, Han is 29.

1:14:57 Adam Is that all he's saying?

1:14:58 Drew I guess so.

1:14:59 Adam What happened to the chick I want to talk to an hour ago?

1:15:02 Drew I, you know.

1:15:03 Adam You don't know where she is?

1:15:04 Drew Han?

1:15:05 Caller Yeah.

1:15:05 Drew 29. She's next.

1:15:06 Caller Okay. My question is-

1:15:08 Adam You think three dudes in a row?

1:15:10 Caller How you doing, Vicker? Hey, you should try jalapenos and pineapples on your pizza.

1:15:15 Adam Oh, really? Let's see.

1:15:16 Caller Yeah. All right.

1:15:17 Adam I'll go for that. I'll go for that.

1:15:18 Caller Right on. Yeah, okay, well, my question is, if somebody's been a drug addict for a number of years or whatnot, you know, they've indulged heavily in drugs for, you know, 10 years of their life. What's a good time, what's a good gap of being recovered and then being in a long term relationship after the...

1:15:50 Caller After you've stopped- Just do it!

1:15:52 Adam One year. One year.

1:15:53 Drew One year. They tell you that in the program all the time, right?

1:15:56 Caller Well, I don't know. I didn't use any sort of program.

1:15:59 Drew Uh-oh. No, that won't do it.

1:16:03 Caller So you're recommending that somebody be in a program for a year?

1:16:07 Drew Yes, active in the program because you have to change. You have to grow. You have to be in some sort of process.

1:16:13 Caller In therapy.

1:16:14 Drew In a therapeutic process because if you don't change, I mean, why wait the year then? You're just the same person now as you're going to be a year from now. You're just going to be off drugs. And, well, so what? But if you grow in the process of recovery, you will attract and be attracted to an entirely different kind of person. And that's what that year is about.

1:16:32 Caller All right.

1:16:33 Adam All right?

1:16:34 Caller All right.

1:16:35 Adam Have a good time.

1:16:36 Drew Have a good time. So, yeah. Here is the call. Sarah.

1:16:38 Caller Oh, hello.

1:16:39 Caller Hey, Ella.

1:16:41 Caller Adam, I just want to say that I love you and Drew, I love the book. It was awesome. Correct.

1:16:45 Drew Oh, thank you, Sarah.

1:16:46 Caller Okay. Basically, like, I've always had a problem where I, like, pee my pants a lot. I don't know, like, when I laugh or something, and I never thought it was a big deal. But, like, recently, basically, like, a couple of weeks ago, it started, like, when I go running, I, like, pee my pants. But, like, I don't know when I'm doing it. And then, like, I'll get down to, like, the strand and I'll, like, stretch or something. And I'll just realize that I totally peed my pants. Like, it's really bad.

1:17:07 Caller Like, it slowly happens.

1:17:09 Drew Do you have any medical problems? Do you have any medical problems?

1:17:12 Caller Um, no.

1:17:13 Caller Like, I have nothing at all.

1:17:15 Drew Are you overweight?

1:17:17 Caller No.

1:17:18 Caller No.

1:17:20 Adam He's running down at the strand. She's gotta look good, right?

1:17:24 Caller Yeah, I'm in really good shape, I'd say, yeah.

1:17:26 Drew Okay. And? On medication?

1:17:29 Caller The only thing that I've ever had is my inhaler.

1:17:32 Caller Like, my, for asthma.

1:17:33 Drew Do you take that regularly?

1:17:35 Caller Um, well, it's only for, like, for exercising.

1:17:39 Drew So you take it before you exercise?

1:17:40 Caller Oh, oh.

1:17:41 You do it before you exercise?

1:17:43 Caller Um, yeah.

1:17:44 Drew And then you get the urinary incontinence?

1:17:46 Caller Yeah, but it just started. Like, it's not like this has been happening for a long time. It's just for, like, it just started, like, two weeks ago. And it's only happened, like, four times.

1:17:54 Drew All right. Could it possibly have a urine infection?

1:17:57 Caller I guess. Like, that's what I wanted to know, like, if I, like, need to, like, check it out or something.

1:18:01 Drew Yes, you definitely need to, it's called stress urinary incontinence. And somebody your age, a urine infection would really be the most common reason for that. As women get older, sometimes having had babies cause something called a cystoseal and change the sort of direction of the bladder neck and the function of the muscles down there, and they can get difficulty with urination with laughing and coughing and running, as with your case. And then they start getting urinary incontinence with orgasm. I talked to one lady who, they were putting down, like, sheets and tarps and stuff, and it was just all over the place. They got, they couldn't tolerate it.

1:18:29 Adam Comfortable.

1:18:30 Drew Nice.

1:18:30 Adam What, how much wee-wee comes out?

1:18:34 Caller Oh my gosh, okay.

1:18:37 Caller Sorry, my friend.

1:18:38 Caller It's like really, okay, like a lot.

1:18:40 Caller Like, and it's, I kind of, I have to go at night, like after work and stuff, and so it, so like, you can't like tell, but like it's a lot. Like, it's embarrassing, it's horrible. Like, I got down and I was gonna keep, I was gonna go for a run, and I couldn't even go because it was horrible. Like, I just looked down and it was, oh my gosh.

1:18:59 Adam But what if you evacuate yourself before you head out for a jog?

1:19:04 Caller I actually, yeah, no, I did that like, yes, no, like two days ago. Like, I did that. Like, I was like about to leave and I was like leaving my house and I was like, wait, hold on. And I like went back and I like went to the bathroom and like tried to like get everything cleaned out.

1:19:16 Drew And that's when I was like, okay.

1:19:18 Caller But it just like slowly comes out. It's the weirdest thing.

1:19:21 Drew Yeah, it sounds like a urine infection to me.

1:19:23 Caller Yeah, I don't even know what's happening.

1:19:25 Drew But you need to get, you need to definitely need to have this checked out and to.

1:19:28 Caller Okay.

1:19:28 Adam Yeah. But it's probably no big deal. It's kind of hot for some guys.

1:19:32 Drew Oh, please.

1:19:33 Adam Yeah. Some dudes are into that. What do you wear? Do you wear? You know what I like? You know, it's a good look. The long, full length sort of workout tight pant. They're like cycling shorts, but they just go down to your ankles.

1:19:48 Caller Yeah.

1:19:49 Adam You got those?

1:19:50 Caller Those are like good for going at night too, because it can get cold. But I don't. Yeah. I just basically wear tank top and shorts. Or sometimes just a sports bra and shorts. Like I don't really.

1:20:00 Adam Yeah.

1:20:01 Caller Of course, Ron.

1:20:02 Adam Let me tell you, if this was a 70s movie, it'd get right. That's the way it happens. The guy spots the check.

1:20:08 Drew Leg warmers.

1:20:09 Adam Yeah, he follows them. You have leg warmers?

1:20:13 Drew All right. They're coming back.

1:20:14 Adam All right. Go to the doctor, would you please? There's nothing hotter than with chicks in the, Drew.

1:20:20 Drew Yeah.

1:20:21 Adam Chicks in the workout outfits.

1:20:22 Caller Yeah.

1:20:23 Adam For me, chicken in a bikini, hot. Chicken in a workout outfit, hot. Chicken lingerie and stripper attire, not as hot.

1:20:33 Drew I agree.

1:20:33 Adam I don't know why. It's a little distracting. I'm not quite sure what it is.

1:20:38 Drew But it makes her feel sexy.

1:20:39 Adam That's all that counts. She has to feel sexy.

1:20:42 Drew So what do you think?

1:20:42 Adam Let me tell you the hottest. Here's the hottest. No clothes. No, no. That is the hottest. It is for a man of your exquisite passion, certainly. No clothes is hot, but in a more certain way. I'm just talking more weird. I'm just talking about more realistic. You're not going anywhere where everyone's naked.

1:21:06 Drew I see.

1:21:07 Adam Here's what I'm saying.

1:21:08 Drew By the way, in reality, that's where everyone's naked.

1:21:12 Adam Yeah, they don't look that good. Here's a lot of sack, that's a dude sack. Here's the thing. Chicken in a bikini wearing tennis shoes, hot.

1:21:24 Drew Say it again?

1:21:25 Adam Chicken in a bikini wearing tennis shoes, hot. Like, okay, I'll tell you the hottest. Chicken in a bikini wearing high heels, sort of weird and distracting and a little bit stripper. Not bad. Not as hot as the tennis shoes.

1:21:38 Drew Agreed.

1:21:39 Adam Hottest is something, I don't know what it does. It changes the shape of the ass or something. Here's the hottest. Chick in the bikini, been out in the sun, got a nice tan, got some oil, a little bit of perspiration, but some oil on him, is now gonna get up and go to the snack bar or the cabana or whatever it is. And the sand is hot. So you flip the sneakers on.

1:22:04 Drew You watch too many movies in the 70s about the beach.

1:22:06 Adam You don't tie the sneakers, you just sort of- You put them on and I'm not talking about flip, yes. I'm not talking about flip flops. I'm talking about the sneakers.

1:22:15 Drew No, I know what you're saying.

1:22:15 Adam And I'm not talking about tying them up either. Just sort of sliding them on.

1:22:19 Drew Here's the problem. When I was growing up, those little tourists.

1:22:22 Adam Is it touristy?

1:22:22 Drew Those tourists.

1:22:23 Adam Still hot.

1:22:24 Drew Tourist.

1:22:25 Adam Something about the ass in the flats is hotter than the ass in the heels. Come on, Drew.

1:22:35 Drew Yeah, yeah, I'm with you.

1:22:36 Adam That's hot.

1:22:37 Drew Yeah.

1:22:38 Adam No, like, and then, and then.

1:22:40 Drew When you put them on the sand, though, that's where you lost me. Walking the strand. Good.

1:22:44 Adam No, you're on the beach. The sand is hot. You got to put the sneakers on.

1:22:47 Drew You put on your sandals, the flip flops.

1:22:49 Adam Yeah, but, tourists. No, no, no, no. You didn't have to be a tourist. Local chicks would wear their sneakers to the beach and then they'd go down to the sand and undress sometimes. And then, now, that's another good thing. The undressing at the beach.

1:23:04 What's the problem with the tourist?

1:23:06 Adam Yeah, what's the problem? By the way, the tourists can't be hot. Yeah, they don't even talk to anybody. You do what you want to them.

1:23:12 Drew, you're so snobby.

1:23:14 Drew I'm just, I really, it's not, I'm just trying to play the guy in the 70s.

1:23:18 Adam Look.

1:23:18 Drew You know what I mean?

1:23:18 Adam No.

1:23:19 Drew That's what you guys are thinking.

1:23:19 Adam I bet you play the guy in, what are we in now?

1:23:21 Drew The 90s? What are we talking about? We're having this elaborate discussion about tennis shoes.

1:23:27 Adam Here's what I'm saying. Here's what's hot. You're at the beach. Couple hot chicks pull up next to you. Remember that one? And they're in the jeans and stuff, and they got stripped down. They're getting naked, essentially. It's like you're at their house, and they're getting undressed. Better that they should pull up in jeans and like a sweat jacket, than pull up in just a sort of sarong kind of thing.

1:23:49 Drew Just so you can see the whole thing go down.

1:23:50 Adam Well, you know when they're trying to work their way out of the jeans?

1:23:54 Drew Are you, you're like in a semi-dream state right now? What's going on here?

1:23:57 Adam Yeah, that's hot.

1:23:57 Drew You're gonna hear all your fantasies.

1:23:58 Adam No, but they're working their way out of the jeans. You catch a little crack sometimes, and that's the, you know, because it catches the bikini bottom as they're pulling it down, tennis shoes. Come on, that's hot. Yeah, hot, hot. Are you ready to go?

1:24:12 Drew Yes.

1:24:12 Adam What's going on?

1:24:13 Drew Yeah, take a break.

1:24:14 Adam Are we gonna take a break? All right, I got to masturbate.

1:24:16 Drew I know you do.

1:24:17 Adam Well, Drew's gonna be right back. I got to take a little time with this. Drew's gonna be right back after this. Hey, everybody, it's the Loveline, I'm Adam. No, wait, I'm the Vicar of Christ. That's Dr. Drew coming to you.

1:24:48 Drew It's good.

1:24:49 Adam I got it from New York City.

1:24:51 Drew I mean, you're squeezed off there.

1:24:52 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah. Take care of business. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are you ready to rock?

1:25:00 Drew Let's go.

1:25:01 Oh, Drew, please.

1:25:02 Adam Oh, dude. That was Drew.

1:25:04 Caller Oh, please.

1:25:06 Caller Drew, that was Drew.

1:25:07 Adam How dare you?

1:25:08 Drew And first of all, how dare you?

1:25:11 Adam Oh, man.

1:25:13 Drew You got a set going? You've been eating so much.

1:25:15 Adam What's up?

1:25:16 Drew You've been eating crazy with the food.

1:25:18 Caller Yeah.

1:25:19 Adam All right, let's go. Who's our next call?

1:25:21 Drew This is Sherry, who's 30.

1:25:22 Adam Sherry. What's happening, Sherry?

1:25:26 Caller Hello there.

1:25:27 Drew Yeah.

1:25:28 Caller How are you?

1:25:30 Drew Good.

1:25:31 Caller My question is, my husband and I have been together about 15 years or so, and we're kind of looking for something to spice up our relationship or not relationship, our love life, our sex life, and we're kind of looking to a threesome, but I don't know really how to go about, you know, kind of finding someone to enjoy that with us, I guess, is the way I see it.

1:25:51 Drew You want another girl?

1:25:52 Caller Yes. Yes, another girl.

1:25:55 Drew Aren't you concerned about your relationship and what might happen in the course of this?

1:26:00 Caller Not particularly. We have a really strong relationship. I think that's why it's kind of gone to that next step. That's why I'm kind of curious about it.

1:26:08 Drew You look at your husband having sex with another woman, that's not going to bother you?

1:26:12 Caller I don't think so.

1:26:15 Adam You don't think so, but you don't know so.

1:26:18 Caller I can't say anything until it happens though.

1:26:21 Drew Then your relationship is over, what are you going to do?

1:26:24 Adam He gets to have intercourse with her?

1:26:26 Caller Possibly. Possibly.

1:26:30 Drew Something is way up here.

1:26:31 Adam Do you have kids?

1:26:32 Caller Yes, we do.

1:26:33 Drew Oh, come on.

1:26:34 Adam How many kids do you have?

1:26:36 Caller We have a couple.

1:26:37 Adam Why don't you get one of them?

1:26:40 Caller There you go.

1:26:42 Adam You got a girl?

1:26:45 Caller Give me a break. Come on.

1:26:47 Adam Well, I'm just saying to be marginally less destructive to the family if you'd just brought a member in. I just kept it in the family.

1:26:58 Drew You're going to risk your family's stability. Where did this all start? Whose idea was this?

1:27:03 Caller Actually, it was my idea.

1:27:07 Drew Why?

1:27:07 Caller It wasn't his. Just, you know, like I said, something different, something-

1:27:11 Drew Here, this is, I guess-

1:27:12 Adam Something different.

1:27:13 Drew No, no, no, she's got to stir it up, some sabotage.

1:27:15 Adam Yeah, yeah. This is, okay. I'll give you two options.

1:27:19 Caller Okay.

1:27:20 Adam Here are the two options. One, you have some sort of latent lesbian tendencies where you just want to check out a chick and you want to do it sort of officially. You don't want to sneak off and do it. You don't want to feel like a lesbian, by the way. You just want to experience a woman because you're curious and you think that's going to be different and better somehow. This is an excuse to experience a woman.

1:27:42 Drew A 30-year-old, she's 30. That's usually like a 20-year-old.

1:27:45 Adam All right, but it could happen. That's number one. Number two, let's see, your dad was maybe violent or an alcoholic, drug addict, out of control. Maybe cheated on your mom and there was just chaos in the family and now you're looking to stir things up.

1:28:03 Drew You've got to bring chaos into this family.

1:28:04 Adam All right, which one is it? Which one?

1:28:06 Caller Probably the first one. Definitely not the second one.

1:28:10 Drew So you're lesbian.

1:28:11 Caller Ooh.

1:28:12 Caller Possibly.

1:28:13 Adam Possibly.

1:28:15 Caller But like, it's not something that, obviously, any guy is going to go for it.

1:28:20 Caller You're lesbian.

1:28:22 Drew True. Not anybody that's interested in maintaining the integrity of a family. But let's-

1:28:26 Adam Well, why is it here nor there, whether your husband will go for it? The question is-

1:28:32 Drew Why are you into it?

1:28:33 Adam Are you a lesbian or do you feel like a lesbian?

1:28:36 Caller I don't feel particularly like a lesbian, but it's a curiosity.

1:28:41 Adam Well, let's put it- It makes sense.

1:28:44 Drew Did you ever have any weird same-sex touching went on like a nursery school or kindergarten?

1:28:49 Caller No, no, definitely not.

1:28:50 Drew Nobody ever sexually abused you?

1:28:51 Caller No, no.

1:28:53 Adam Here's the real question.

1:28:54 Caller Pretty good life. Pretty good, happy life.

1:28:57 Adam If you could find a woman you are attracted to, take her off somewhere in a private place, have a sexual encounter with her, minus your husband, and hold quiet down. And no one would ever find out about it. Would you do that?

1:29:13 Caller No, definitely not.

1:29:15 Drew Why not?

1:29:15 Caller Definitely, because that would be cheating on my husband.

1:29:19 Drew No, no. Well, and let's say in a cosmic world, it wouldn't, in some fashion, you could do it without it actually officially being cheating.

1:29:25 Caller No.

1:29:26 Drew What he's asking is you're not even.

1:29:28 Caller That's what makes it. I think that's what, that's the whole idea, is that it would be with him, a whole new experience with him. So saying, is that kind of weird? Is that kind of out there?

1:29:37 Adam Yes.

1:29:37 Drew Well, wait a minute.

1:29:38 Adam Are you into chicks or not?

1:29:41 Caller I've never been with one.

1:29:43 Adam I know.

1:29:43 Drew All right, but let's say you like it. Let's say you like it and it's very appealing when you get involved with this. Now what are you going to do? Now what? You're a lesbian and you're married with kids. There you go. You've opened up Pandora's Box. What are you doing now? What's the plan?

1:29:58 Adam I know her name's going to be Pandora.

1:30:00 Drew I guarantee you. What do you think Pandora's Box, where do you think that came from?

1:30:03 Adam I know, I'm just saying, is every lesbian named Pandora?

1:30:06 Drew Only those that, yeah.

1:30:08 Adam Engage in threesomes?

1:30:08 Caller Only those that open the box, right?

1:30:10 Adam Well, wait a minute. Hold on a second. You're telling me, okay, one side of your mouth, you're saying you feel like maybe you could be a lesbian. You're certainly curious about experiencing a woman. And then the other side of your mouth, is that what you're saying?

1:30:29 Caller Pretty much, yeah. I'm curious, but like you said, I don't want to ruin the integrity of our relationship, but we've gotten to a level in our relationship that something physical, I don't think will, I don't know.

1:30:45 Drew What the hell does that mean? That is a meaningless gibberish, Jerry. That's nonsense.

1:30:49 Adam I'm just saying, here's basically what's going on, as best I can tell, and as you know, I'm a genius and literally a millionaire and always right. You would like to check the lesbian box off your box. You would like to say, I've been with a woman one time, you want to check it out. Drew, don't give me that head wagging thing. I'm getting chaos too, okay. I'm getting chaos too because nobody does this that doesn't have some pension for chaos.

1:31:18 Drew Right. You need to have real intimacy.

1:31:21 Adam What's going on with your parents? Did your dad, somebody cheated on somebody, something happened?

1:31:26 Caller Not that I know of, no way.

1:31:29 Drew Your parents are still together?

1:31:31 Caller No, they are divorced, but it was an amicable divorce.

1:31:34 Drew Why did they divorce?

1:31:37 Caller They weren't compatible anymore. Why?

1:31:39 Drew What was happening?

1:31:41 Caller I'm not sure I was young.

1:31:43 Adam How old were you?

1:31:44 Caller I was eight.

1:31:46 Drew You didn't see anything, any evidence of any problem?

1:31:48 Caller No, they hid everything. If there was some major thing, they hid everything from us.

1:31:53 Adam You went from great childhood to parents divorced at eight. Eight is pretty tough.

1:32:00 Caller Yeah, but it wasn't a bad life.

1:32:01 Adam No, you didn't see your dad repeatedly stabbing your mom with a letter opener. But let me tell you, your parents getting divorced at eight is a far cry from a great childhood. It doesn't mean there's wholesale abuse, but there were-

1:32:17 Drew Something's going on.

1:32:18 Adam Here's a good question. How old is your oldest kid?

1:32:22 Drew Your oldest child?

1:32:23 Adam Seven. Right on time, baby. Yeah.

1:32:27 Drew Right. When you were eight, your parents screwed up their relationship, so you got to screwed up for your eight-year-old.

1:32:32 Adam Yeah. Why don't we play in this threesome for the kid's birthday?

1:32:36 Drew You know how kids have incredible intuition. I bet your parents did something weird. Did dad do something weird? Somebody did something and sabotaged the relationship.

1:32:44 Adam Yeah. Whatever it is, it's not a good idea.

1:32:48 Drew You're reenacting the cycle.

1:32:48 Adam Don't keep resting on that part where you go, our relationship is so strong, it's so positive. Yeah, that's BS. Please, who are you talking to? Okay. Relationship is so strong, it can take a hit like this.

1:33:00 Drew You wanted to sabotage this thing.

1:33:02 Adam That's what it's all about.

1:33:02 Drew Whatever you're thinking, the thinking is all distorted.

1:33:05 Adam Your parents blew up when you were eight, your kid's going to be eight in six months, you're going to blow yourself. That's how it goes. All right, we'll be back after this. All right, everybody. God love you. I had to wake up to finish the show. I want to thank a couple of people tonight. I want to thank Engineer Anderson, the magic-fingered one, the Liberace of the Potentiomers, doing a great job all week. I want to thank Engineer Chris and possibly Engineer Michelle. I want to thank Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Producer Lauren. I want to thank Producer Ann. I want to thank Phone Screener Brian. Is he in this week? Yep. God love you Brian, doing a great job.

1:34:38 No, Ann's screening calls over here. How are you?

1:34:40 Adam See, there you go. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. Hey, how about giving him a BJ?

1:34:48 Caller Oh, no.

1:34:51 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station.

1:35:03 Adam The producer for Loveline is Aningold.

1:35:05 Caller Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, April 7, 2005