Episode 1000702604080

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline. With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:20 Voiceover Hey, buddy, it's Loveline, man. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Moby here tonight wanting to know what I'm looking at. Hi, how's it going?

1:33 Moby What are you looking at?

1:34 Adam I don't know. I was trying to see who was coming on the show next, and I realize that's a week old. Moby, a big fan of Moby, saw Moby on an episode of The Apprentice a couple of weeks back.

1:48 Moby I saw that too. Yeah, I actually haven't seen it. I feel like I'm at a disadvantage because I've never actually seen the show.

1:54 Adam Yeah.

1:55 Drew I like that show.

1:55 Adam It's a good show.

1:56 Drew I like that show.

1:57 Moby Really?

1:57 Drew Yeah.

1:58 Moby Yeah. I had a lot of trepidation going into it as well, because it was my first foray into the world of reality TV, which is, as we can all accept, primarily a very distasteful genre of television. So I didn't know if The Apprentice was going to be like Donald Trump eating bugs or something.

2:13 Drew No, it's the best or the worst.

2:14 Moby Okay, good.

2:15 Drew And though I've done some, I think you may fill one of these out, these personality profiles I was doing on guests when they came on the show.

2:22 Moby If I didn't, I'd love to. I love being a narcissist. I love things like that.

2:25 Drew We found out that most people that do the kind of work we all do.

2:27 Adam Hold on. If you admit you're a narcissist, you're only...

2:30 Drew You're only partially.

2:31 Adam Yeah, you might be an a-hole, but not a full-blown narcissist.

2:34 Moby I'm a full-blown narcissist. All right.

2:36 Drew Be that as it may.

2:36 Adam It's narcissistic to argue with the host over your narcissism, so you're back on.

2:42 Drew Go ahead, Drew. We found that the people that were off the chart narcissistic were the reality TV contestants. Oh, really? They were absolutely off the chart relative to everybody.

2:50 Adam Well, they're horrible people, but we've met many of them. Most of them are delusional. Most of the women who come in here, I always ask them, is Playboy come knocking? And they say, yeah. And I say something like, I'm trying to be nice, but maybe you should talk to them and strike while the iron is hot, because, you know, two more survivors from now or five more apprentices from now, they may not be offering the kind of money. Oh, yeah. Oh, no.

3:16 Drew No, no. I'll be in my acting career.

3:18 Adam By the way, it's not about money. Then I would say, well, how much should they offer? And they go, they won't tell me. And then, would you do it for free? Well, hell no. And then it's got something to do with money. The thing about, but I will say this, I was just watching The Contender tonight, which is now a new show I watch. There's some boxing in there.

3:35 Drew Another good show.

3:36 Adam The thing about reality TV is, is half of it is a train wreck, but the other half of it is decent. And if you just sort of, well, what are your choices? Sitting around watching more sitcoms? You know what I'm saying? At least it's better than that. It's not a full blown documentary, but whatever the networks would be doing in its place, it's probably better.

3:58 Moby Well, the one that I did watch was The Surreal Life. Except for that one. And I saw the first one with Who Was On It? It was MC Hammer and Corey Feldman. And just this fantastic scene where they had been in a shopping mall. And so Vince Neil and Webster and Corey Feldman and MC Hammer are sitting in a minivan driving back from the shopping mall. And they're all really uncomfortable. And it was just such an awkward, fantastic moment. Because you think of like these people in their heyday, and then here they are in a minivan driving back from the mall.

4:30 Adam Yeah. I know this is now, this is something, it didn't really, didn't really used to exist anymore. But now, now this is a new genre. Seeing people that were sort of on top being knocked down. And Drew, you were never on top.

4:48 Drew It doesn't work, see? The scapegoating impulse is very strong in humans. The knocking down thing.

4:55 Adam Yeah. All right, anyway, let's talk Moby. Moby has a new CD out called Hotel. It has been out for about one, well, a little over a week. And we're gonna hear a couple of songs off of that. Also gonna be on the Late Late Show tomorrow night. And heading out on tour in April. So you can check the website, www.moby.com. My god, that is so easy.

5:22 Moby I know.

5:23 Adam You're so, I don't want to say lucky, fortunate, or smart to have that.

5:28 Moby Well what happened was in 1998, at the height of the.com boom, I looked into buying moby.com as a domain name. And some savvy Silicon Valley guy had bought it and wanted to sell it to me for $150,000. Which of course is a little bit above what I wanted to pay for it. And I called him back six months later after it had all fallen apart and I bought it for $500.

5:48 Adam Oh really? Yeah.

5:50 Moby I guess he needed to go out and buy a bag of crystal meth or something and he was desperate.

5:54 Adam You know, it's so funny, like when people have the complicated ones, how many conversations have you had where you started drifting off halfway into there? You know, you go www.one, not one, like one, the number, like one, that's J-U-A-N, okay? Two backslash, go and you're just like after about three, now you never stop them, although I'm now at the point where I actually go, we're done, it's not gonna happen. But you're nodding, backslash, and then they, at the very end of this crazy algorithm, they say, it's easy, no, no, it's easy. They're like, I don't know it right now. I don't know it.

6:37 Drew You told it. My brother-in-law's name is Juan, you know Juan.

6:40 Adam It's been 6.3 seconds, I don't know any of what you just told me. You think in six weeks when I'm on my computer, I'm gonna summon this up, are you high? Yeah, Moby.

6:50 Moby Well, I've also, I've got an easy email address as well. Like I've got my private one, but my email address, if anyone wants to write to me, it's a tough one to remember. It's Moby at moby.com. Oh boy.

7:01 Adam Yeah.

7:02 Moby Yeah, I know. Should I repeat that a few times? It might take a while for people for it to sink in.

7:06 Adam Moby, I believe was on our TV show back when.

7:11 Moby Were you? Was I? I don't know. The mind's not what it used to be. The combination of like inbreeding and age.

7:17 Adam Did Moby do the Loveline on MTV?

7:20 Drew I can't remember.

7:21 Moby Oh, I did.

7:22 Adam I think you did.

7:23 Yeah.

7:23 Moby And Jamirakoi was a guest as well. Yes. I remember it was right when the album Played came out.

7:29 Oh, those guys.

7:31 Drew Yeah. The crazy hat.

7:34 Moby And there was a woman on the show. You had a hostess of sorts.

7:38 Drew We've had various ones. Which one was, what color hair when you were there?

7:41 Moby I believe she was a brunette.

7:42 Drew Okay. Diane, probably.

7:43 Adam Probably. Jamirakoi came on, like their ass didn't stink. Remember those guys?

7:48 Drew Oh, yeah.

7:49 Adam And they just got off a plane from Europe. And all I remember, they're still, they're huge though. One of the guys was just showing me pictures of his Lamborghinis and I'm immediately one day over.

7:59 Moby He's a little car obsessed.

8:00 Adam Yeah. Yeah. I never, I didn't like the Jamirakoi guys or koi or whatever.

8:04 Drew I remember like not being able to communicate with them. They were like, they were high.

8:07 Moby Yeah.

8:07 Adam Yeah. They were effed up.

8:08 Moby And are we allowed to talk? Cause the question I was asking you guys before we started was which guests have been terrible? Are we allowed to talk about that? Or is that?

8:15 Drew Well, as long as you're bringing up those kinds of band, there's always Chumbawumba.

8:19 Moby Although Chumbawumba did have, I went to see them live and for their encore, they came out and said, okay, now we're going to do our medley of Hit.

8:27 Adam I like that.

8:28 Moby That endeared me to them.

8:30 Adam Yeah, we didn't like them as human beings. I mean, the list goes on and on and on. We really need to just sit down. Rodney Dangerfield, God rest his soul, was an a-hole. I'm trying to think of-

8:41 Moby That's a shame. But I mean, Caddyshack, Caddyshack covers up a multitude of-

8:45 Drew Mason, what's his name? Jackie Mason?

8:47 Adam Jackie Mason was an a-hole.

8:48 Moby Jackie Mason was not an a-hole.

8:50 Drew Yeah. What? No bagels?

8:52 Adam Look, he was angry at 10.30 at night that there are no bagels laid out. I'm like, you're lucky if you get non-dairy creamer at a radio station. Are you kidding? Bagels? I don't think people at radio stations know what bagels are. There's no juice here.

9:06 Moby I've got tap water in a styrofoam cup right now and I'm happy. I feel like I'm being well looked after.

9:13 Adam The cup was only used three times by the morning crew, by the way, so it's relatively fresh.

9:18 Drew And then it was a soap holder for a short while, but now...

9:20 Adam Well, you're going to keep your toothbrush, you know? I can rest it right on the sink there. Danielle?

9:27 Yeah?

9:27 Adam You're 15?

9:29 Caller Yes.

9:30 Adam What's up?

9:32 Caller Hi. My boyfriend and me a while back tried anal and he's a little bit wider around than average. Yeah, and it really hurt.

9:44 Moby Whiter or wider?

9:46 Adam Sounded like wider, but I figured it out. It's wider.

9:49 Moby Yeah.

9:50 Caller It hurt. And he wants to again, and I'm willing to, but we've tried a couple more times.

9:56 Adam It's like if you're hearing a commercial for a toothpaste and they said, wider teeth, you would know they meant wider.

10:01 Drew So we're talking about the penis.

10:03 Adam It's not actually making it wider. Yeah. So it's a context.

10:06 Drew Yeah.

10:07 Adam Danielle.

10:08 Caller Yeah.

10:08 Adam Right.

10:09 Drew But Danielle, I want to stop you here. You're 15.

10:12 Caller Yeah.

10:12 Adam Yeah. Aren't you getting started a little late? I mean, for our callers started earlier in 15. Is that what you're going to say? I'm no mind reader, but I know where I, after sitting next to Drew for 10 years, I think I know where he's heading. Why not 12 or 13? Isn't that what you're asking, Drew?

10:28 Drew Of course, of course. Thank you, Adam. That's nice.

10:31 Adam Danielle, yes, 15.

10:33 Drew What's going on?

10:35 Adam At 15, I didn't even know where the anus was.

10:36 Drew How old is he? Have you ever heard that word at 15?

10:39 Adam Not anus.

10:39 Drew Not anus and sex together. Those are two.

10:42 Adam No, no.

10:42 Drew Those words.

10:43 Moby Well, the town I grew up in, we had a river running through our town called the Myanus River.

10:48 Drew Nice.

10:48 Moby Which was fantastic. So we became familiar with the anus at an early age.

10:53 Adam So how long have you been with this guy?

10:56 Caller About three months now.

10:58 Drew How old is he?

10:59 Caller Same age as me.

11:00 Moby 15? That is really young. I hadn't even had sex when I was 15, but this was back in the tough 30s.

11:06 Caller So the first time we did, we were both 14.

11:10 Drew Oh, Danielle.

11:11 Caller Yeah.

11:12 Drew What are you using for birth control?

11:13 Adam Well, wait, the first time you had sex, you were 14.

11:17 Caller Well, either one.

11:19 Drew In other words, she just turned 15.

11:20 Caller Yeah.

11:21 Adam The anal sex at 14 too?

11:23 Caller Yeah.

11:25 Adam Okay. Wow.

11:26 Caller I'm crazy about this guy and if I wasn't, I wouldn't do anything.

11:29 Drew No, Danielle, this just means that you've got some such heavy trauma in your life that that kind of profound stimulation is what you need.

11:36 Caller I'm a complete masochist.

11:38 Drew Yeah, I know because somebody made you that.

11:41 Adam Where's your dad?

11:42 Moby I didn't know the word masochist when I was 15 either.

11:44 Adam No, I know.

11:45 Caller My dad.

11:45 Adam Quite rangy, Danielle.

11:47 Yeah.

11:47 Caller My dad's a naffle.

11:49 Drew No kidding.

11:50 Yeah, it is. Ironically.

11:52 Drew Ironically, she uses that word to describe him, strangely enough.

11:55 Adam Where is your dad?

11:57 Drew Oh, a little pot here.

11:59 Caller Room over for me.

12:01 Drew Little tobacco and a little marijuana going with her too. What?

12:04 Adam Me?

12:04 Caller No.

12:05 Adam You smoking? What are you doing?

12:06 Caller Nothing.

12:07 Adam No? Nothing? No drugs?

12:09 Caller Not right now. No way. I'm at home.

12:11 Drew I know. Not right now. I understand. But I can hear the residual effects.

12:15 Adam Huffing copier toner as we speak.

12:17 Caller Oh.

12:17 Adam Throw a rag that's wrapped around the phone.

12:20 Caller Um, I used to smoke.

12:23 Drew Yeah. Well, I can hear it. I know. We hear it.

12:25 Adam You used to smoke pot. What happened? You got busted?

12:27 Caller No. No. I used to smoke cigarettes and a little weed, but not much. But I don't do either now because I've basically cleaned my life up and I'm happy about that.

12:38 Moby That's good.

12:39 All right.

12:39 Moby Congratulations.

12:40 Adam She's given herself to the Lord. Now it's all about anal and calling a bad nail.

12:45 Caller I never got busted for anything.

12:47 All right.

12:47 Moby That's good.

12:48 Adam All right.

12:48 Caller I just broke up and realized I was trying to kill myself or something.

12:54 Moby Can I ask a simple question? How do you think your boyfriend would respond if you said that you didn't want to ever have anal sex with him?

13:01 Caller He would say, it's okay, baby. It doesn't matter.

13:04 Drew There you go.

13:05 Moby That's the answer. Let's maybe hold off on the anal till you're able to vote at the very focus of birth control.

13:11 Caller It's not that. It wouldn't hurt me if the fact wasn't that it's just too wide.

13:15 Drew Whatever, Danielle. It's whatever it is that hurts. Don't do it. What are you using for birth control?

13:20 Caller Condoms.

13:21 Drew All right. Stay with it. Don't worry about the anal sex.

13:26 Adam Where is your dad, by the way, goofball?

13:28 Caller A room over from me.

13:30 Adam Oh, I see. What's he do? Something with a truck.

13:34 Caller He's a computer engineer.

13:35 Adam Aha. I knew it.

13:37 Moby You could smell it a mile away.

13:39 Adam A hillbill is like the Hatfields of the McCoys. That's the thing about the Hatfields of McCoys. The Hatfields, computer tax. McCoys on the programming side.

13:49 Moby Of course.

13:49 Adam Yeah, that's what they want. Hardware versus software.

13:51 Hardware versus software.

13:54 Adam All right, listen, Danielle. Just please stop trying to humiliate your father through humiliating yourself. That's the, ah, this is what goes on. Young women, they have a grudge against their father. Their fathers don't pay attention to them. Maybe they're alcoholics. Maybe they abuse them. Maybe they just sort of act like they don't exist. Maybe they always wanted a son. And then the daughter essentially pays daddy back, except for she becomes the pincushion. It's a weird strategy for paying someone back. You almost never pay anyone back that way. I mean, usually when you pay someone back, you go get that person.

14:33 Drew She's like the voodoo doll.

14:34 Adam Right.

14:35 Drew She becomes voodoo. Actually, she just treats herself the way she feels her dad treated her.

14:39 Adam Right.

14:39 Drew And finds guys to continue that process.

14:41 Adam Yeah. And at a certain point, she makes sure that her dad finds out about whatever's going on with her.

14:46 Drew Well, not at a certain point. Thanksgiving, Easter, or Christmas.

14:50 Adam That's right. Big three. But never Yom Kippur.

14:54 Drew Strangely enough.

14:55 Adam Yeah. Christina?

14:58 Hello?

14:59 Adam 2021 on with Moby. What's up?

15:02 I was just wondering, I kind of had a question. When I get close to climaxing, the other night with my boyfriend for some strange reason, I just wanted him to pee in me and we kind of laughed about it and shrugged it off. But then we were wondering, is that safe?

15:18 Drew It's safe, but it's almost impossible. A guy, for him to be a guy with a good erection is almost impossible to pee. And if he's near orgasm, it's really truly impossible.

15:31 Adam I'd like to try though.

15:33 Drew I know you would.

15:33 Adam I think, here's how it would work for me. Oh yeah, no, no, I can do it. Done it a million times. Hup, hup, hup, sorry baby, this didn't happen. Try me again in about three days to see if we can do it again. Nice. I'm gonna say three hours, but I don't know who we can. Yeah, yeah, it's a weird impulse on your behalf.

15:52 Caller No, I know and I laughed about it. I didn't know. I just came out.

15:56 Adam Yeah, is it? Can you connect it to anything? Is there anything we should know?

16:01 Caller Well, no, I just it's it's when we're in like a certain position with my legs around his shoulders and it's deep penetration for some reason. I just I just had the urge and I and I laughed about it. But it's kind of simultaneous to him coming in me.

16:18 Drew But yes, you just want you want him just to put fluid in you. Is that what you're saying?

16:22 Caller Well, yeah.

16:23 Drew Yeah, he'll he'll do that anyway. Don't worry.

16:26 Adam Oh, yeah. But what I'm asking is, is I don't know, were you ever, you know, did a horse ever urinate on you when you're a three year old? There's something like that.

16:35 Caller No, no.

16:37 Adam All right. I could have.

16:38 Caller I was kind of gross myself. I just thought it was weird.

16:41 I don't know.

16:41 Adam All right. All right.

16:42 Moby Well, well, it's not, it's not particularly.

16:44 Drew Oh, she has another question.

16:45 Wait, that should be good.

16:47 Moby But urine, I mean urine, when it leaves the body, it is sterile.

16:49 Drew Quite sterile.

16:51 Adam Yeah. You're fine. But it's just a tall aura, although if he's wearing a condom, it becomes a.

16:55 Drew Impossible.

16:56 Adam Or comical.

16:56 Drew Irrelevant. Yeah. Oh yes.

16:58 Moby Interesting.

16:58 Adam Like when those, you know, you go to the fair and you get the squirt guy.

17:02 Moby Like the clown's mouth.

17:03 Adam Clown's mouth. Yeah. Where was she? Christina?

17:08 Drew All right. Your other question.

17:09 Caller Okay. After I have a real intense orgasm, I get really bad cramps and I was just wondering like why and what can I do to stop that from happening? Cause it's just a real bad discomfort after.

17:21 Drew Yeah. Usually, oftentimes anyway, that's a spasm of the pubococcygous muscle, which is on the floor of the pelvis. And it's a hard thing to not, to get control over when it happens. So it's not something you can easily, sometimes doing Kegel exercises might help with that. But for the most part, it's about just relaxing and not clamping down too hard when you do have to.

17:40 Adam It's only when you orgasm.

17:42 Caller Oh yeah.

17:44 Adam Okay, all right. So, and you orgasm every time?

17:49 Caller Most of the time.

17:50 Adam So, let me talk to Moby and Drew about this. If you have a 21 year old woman who just orgasms most of the time, doesn't seem to have any history of trauma, and sort of, just-

18:01 Drew It's weird, a wild mare.

18:02 Adam Flirted with the notion of being urinated. And this is just someone who just is good to go.

18:07 Drew Yeah.

18:08 Adam Like, this is just somebody who sort of almost has a male mentality when it comes to sex.

18:12 Drew Yeah, she's got, she's high drive, high tumescence.

18:15 Adam Yeah.

18:16 Moby Tumescence, that's a fantastic word.

18:18 Drew It's strong.

18:19 Adam It's almost, you know, the only thing better is tumescence monitor, which-

18:23 Moby Turgid.

18:24 Adam Yeah, that's a good word too.

18:25 Moby Priapic.

18:26 Adam No, I don't even know what that one means.

18:28 Drew What was that again?

18:28 Moby Priapic.

18:30 Adam What does it mean?

18:31 Moby A priapism, I believe is one like you can-

18:32 Adam Oh, never being able to lose your erection. I like that. All right, let's see, we got a Moby song to play, we got a man boob question, got the Pope.

18:42 Moby The Pope's gone. It's a little bit odd. I mean, I'm old, we've all sort of been around the block a lot, I've never heard, maybe I'm naive, but I've never heard of a woman wanting to be urinated in.

18:53 Drew You know, there's a lot of things-

18:54 Adam Come up with time or two on this show.

18:56 Drew Correct me if I'm wrong on this. I think there's a lot of primitive impulses that women have that are never spoken of at this point in history for some reason. There are two particularly, I think, and I don't know, but I'm kind of hearing this from women. One is the desire to have something put in. That desire of the guy emitting something into her is an important part of the gratification of sex.

19:16 Adam Interesting.

19:17 Drew Of having that experience, of receiving something. Let's put it that way. And number two.

19:20 Adam That's why I do number two.

19:22 Drew That's good. Well, it's better than number one.

19:25 Adam Well, if you think about it, yeah, it's in, yeah.

19:28 Drew It's a taller order.

19:29 Adam And it's bigger than what I got. But go ahead.

19:32 Drew Anyway, thick beat on that one. Okay. The other thing is lordosis. When women get around, they kind of present and they get a tightening of the muscle in the back and their rear goes up like cats do that. Female cats, when you push on them. And I think women like some stimulation back there too. We were, for this Discovery Health thing.

19:50 Adam You're talking about the ass now?

19:52 Drew The back, the low back.

19:53 Adam But what's that have to do with the urination?

19:55 Drew I just think other, we're talking about two impulses that women never talked about. For instance, we did this whole thing on the erogenous. All these women were saying, oh, my back is my erogenous. My back, my back, my what? You're, oh, absolutely, back.

20:09 Adam Well, the other thing too, I think with women, I think we think that the domain of sort of primitive sexualities, all the male domain.

20:21 Moby Right, oh, I haven't found that to be the case at all.

20:24 Drew But I think the culture kind of does that.

20:26 Adam The Neanderthalian sort of approach to sex is reserved for the guys. Women are much more, I don't know, they're much more organic that way in a certain sense. I mean, they probably respond to sense, meaning the way something smells more than a guy does. They probably respond to more, probably more concrete than they are in our sexuality. So why shouldn't they be just as involved with the weird stuff as we are?

20:54 Drew All sorts of things, yeah.

20:55 Adam Yeah, they should, in theory, almost be more receptive to it in a weird way. I think society doesn't want to let them be that way.

21:02 Drew But they don't, they don't want, it's almost like they don't want to talk about it themselves because why don't women discuss it?

21:06 Adam Right.

21:07 Drew It's strange.

21:07 Adam Yeah. Anyway.

21:09 Drew Anyway, I'm looking for people tonight again for television, for Discovery Health, who've been recently divorced or recently single, who are back on the dating scene and want to tell us about that on television. So call in, we will take those calls.

21:19 Adam Let's hear a Moby song, shall we?

21:21 Moby Great. Are we going to play Spiders? Yes.

21:25 Adam Yes, we are. Off of Hotel.

21:28 Moby And this is a song that's sort of my homage slash tribute to David Bowie. And if for some reason David Bowie's lawyers happen to be listening, I ask them to please be kind to me. And I know we live in a litigious society, but I'm not looking for any lawsuits. It's just a benign tribute homage to David Bowie.

21:49 Adam All right, Ziggy, don't sue. This is Spider. Yeah, Moby, everybody. In the studio tonight, Hotel, Name of the CD. And it seemed like David Poby could sue you for that.

25:42 Moby Yeah, well, there's some liberal use. Like the quote in the chorus is, it's called Spiders, which is sort of based on Ziggy Stardust and the spiders from Mars. So, but again, we do live in a litigious society, so people can sue each other for whatever they so choose.

25:57 Adam Yeah, but it's uncool and rock and roll to sue Moby. You know what I mean? Yeah, I know. Because he ain't the man. You know what I'm saying? He's far from the man. All right, quiet down, Drew.

26:07 Drew Drew's a doctor.

26:09 Adam He hates everybody.

26:09 Drew No, I just think the suer would see it that way, but the attorneys might see an opportunity to just...

26:14 Yeah, all right.

26:15 Adam Listen, he's fine. I'll represent you, Moby. Thank you. We'll take a quick break. When we come back, just got pregnant, awful cramps. How about man boobs?

26:23 Drew No, no, no. Listen, she's having a miscarriage. I got to talk to her.

26:26 Adam All right. We'll take a few commercials and we'll talk to her after this. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. A little technical difficulty. Moby here tonight. Moby has himself a CD. It's called Hotel. We'll hear something else off of that in the 11 o'clock hour. When we left off, we were talking about Michelle, who's 22. She just got pregnant. She thinks she's having some difficulties. Michelle?

27:11 Caller Yeah?

27:12 Adam What's up?

27:13 Caller Well, it's my first pregnancy. I'm about 11 weeks and I've been having some cramping really bad and I called my doctor about it and I described what was going on and I had a discharge that it wasn't like red or anything, but it was like a brownish red color and I am sober. I'm a year sober. I did talk about the drugs and drinking and I want to know if that might be maybe some effects and my boys and I are sick.

27:47 Drew No, no, no. Listen, if you are not using drugs right now, it's not as though residual effects are going to be, the baby is going to be under some residual effect.

27:57 Adam How about the God punishment factor, Drew? Are you working that in?

28:00 Drew I'm not working that in just yet, but you're welcome to do so. But Michelle, what did your doctor tell you to do?

28:07 Caller He just had lots of bed rest. That was about it. And if I saw any spottings to go to a hospital.

28:11 Drew Yeah, but that brown discharge would qualify as spotting. Did you tell him about the brown discharge?

28:16 Caller Yeah.

28:17 Drew He didn't care about that, huh?

28:19 Caller Apparently not. He just said, you know, bed rest.

28:23 Drew Bed rest is a good idea, but boy, if you have actual bleeding, this could be an ectopic pregnancy, although it's a little late in the game for that.

28:30 Adam You mean you'd know it?

28:31 Drew You'd be in...

28:32 Adam Eleven weeks is what? Nine months?

28:34 Drew Nine months. And the possibility of a threatened abortion is here, the threatened miscarriage. So you really... If you get any bleeding at all, I would go to an emergency room.

28:43 Moby I really would. Do ectopic pregnancies usually happen to people with endometriosis?

28:47 Drew No, they happen... Endometriosis is more issues with fertility per se. The ectopics are people who have dysfunctions of the fallopian tube, so it's a tubal pregnancy. And they're congenital, meaning you'd be born with dysfunctions of the tube. Most commonly, though, it's infections in the tube, which a lot of people get these days. And they can be from bacteria in the vagina. It could be sexually transmitted diseases. So the tube dysfunction is a very, very common thing. Probably the most common cause would be chlamydia.

29:10 Adam Where are you at at 11 weeks? What do you got in you? We took it out of you. What would we be seeing at 11 weeks?

29:15 Drew A little tiny person.

29:16 Adam Little person?

29:17 Drew A little lizard.

29:18 Adam A little lizard?

29:19 Moby Even at 11 weeks, really?

29:20 Adam 11 weeks, really? Fingers? Gonna be fingers?

29:24 Drew Let me get the book out and show you what we got.

29:26 Adam You got something in a book?

29:27 Drew There'd be the beginning. I mean, by the second trimester, you're in.

29:30 Adam All right, so we're almost at three months at 11 weeks, right? What do you got? You got digits?

29:35 Drew I think so.

29:35 Adam How many nostrils?

29:37 Drew They've got these brachial pouches that's still, no, they should be gone by then, yeah.

29:41 Adam Really?

29:42 Drew Here comes the book. Here we go.

29:42 Adam All right, we got a book. Oh, it's great. Oh, Nazi war atrocities. This is awesome. Listen, those people, not everything they did was awful. They got some great graphic pictures of what goes on at three months. Drew, you're not gonna find anything at three months.

29:57 Drew I think you're probably right, but as I recall-

29:59 Adam Go on the internet.

30:00 Drew Pretty much a person, a little homunculus.

30:03 Adam A little homunculus, all right. I think we got one work in the board tonight. Homunculus.

30:09 Okay, got it.

30:09 Moby The plural of homunculus would be homunculi.

30:11 Adam Homunculi.

30:12 Caller Here we go.

30:12 Moby Do you know how they used to try to make homunculi back in the good old days of alchemy? They would take a test tube and put some semen and cow manure in the test tube and bury it by the light of a full moon, and they maintained it. If you came back three months later, there'd be a tiny little homunculus at the bottom of the test tube.

30:29 Drew Really?

30:29 Moby So I encourage the listeners to try that.

30:31 Drew Here's five weeks.

30:32 Moby It's a healthy experiment.

30:33 Adam No, five weeks, you look like a baby hamster.

30:37 Drew Yes.

30:37 Adam Right?

30:37 Drew Yeah.

30:38 Adam That's five weeks.

30:39 Moby Yeah, but that's not exactly to scale.

30:42 Adam Right, right.

30:42 Moby That's a very large looking hamster.

30:45 Adam All right. Ooh, I like the tail. What goes on with this tail, Drew?

30:48 Drew It goes away.

30:49 Adam It goes away?

30:50 Moby It helps you to stabilize yourself in the womb. You can swim around with the tail.

30:54 Adam Do you eat it? Where does it go? Does your mom crap it out?

30:57 Drew Your ass moves down around it, basically.

30:59 Adam Oh, I see. It stays and we fill it in.

31:01 Drew There you go.

31:02 Adam Okay. And then where are you, so at five weeks, you look like just a little little hamster.

31:08 Drew Just at 10 weeks, quite a bit more developed.

31:10 Adam Wow.

31:11 Drew 11 weeks.

31:11 Adam Wow. Well, homunculus.

31:13 Drew Can I have a look at that?

31:14 Adam You ready to rock here, Drew?

31:15 Drew No, I'm busy looking at these pictures. Hang on. Here we go.

31:17 Adam We gotta talk to, let's talk to man boobs.

31:19 Drew Oh, we lost the one I want to talk to.

31:21 Adam Aaron?

31:22 Hi Adam. Hi Drew. Hi Moby.

31:24 Drew Hi.

31:24 Adam What's happening?

31:25 22? I don't know how much info you have, but I'm the soccer accident guy who lost a testicle. I talked to you guys last week, last month. And since I talked to you last, I had the prosthetic nut put in and I've been putting on a bunch of weight and I'm developing man boobs.

31:45 Moby Can I just, I don't anyway want to make light of this because it's a serious thing, but a prosthetic nut, if you could have an acronym, it would be peanut.

31:53 Adam Yeah, that's good.

31:54 Moby That's good.

31:55 Adam Homunculi, peanut.

31:57 Drew All kinds of great things today.

32:00 Adam Go ahead. So you had, what's it made out of?

32:03 It's polyurethane.

32:05 Adam All right. And I'm thinking I don't, I didn't have one removed, but I am thinking about putting a third one in, just in case I do lose one that I'm right.

32:12 Drew When you're right.

32:13 I'm right. Just insurance, yeah.

32:15 Adam And so you had it put in and now you start growing man boobs. Are you connecting it to this prosthesis?

32:23 Well, what I'm thinking is that my drop in testosterone is causing something to flare up inside and I'm developing a rack, I guess.

32:33 Drew No. No.

32:35 We don't believe you.

32:36 Adam We don't believe you.

32:38 Drew This thing was put in three weeks ago?

32:39 Adam No, Aaron's fault.

32:41 No, no, no. I had the prosthetic put in in the middle of February. That's when I last talked to you guys. I don't know if you even remember me.

32:50 Drew I thought you said it was a month ago.

32:52 Well, that was six weeks ago.

32:53 Moby That's when the man boobs in the middle of February.

32:56 Adam No, I remember this. I remember everyone who ever called this show except for tonight.

33:01 Drew Six weeks ago. And then what's happened since then?

33:03 Since the middle of February, I've put on about 25 pounds.

33:08 Drew And six weeks. Well, first of all, putting on...

33:11 And I'm just like quick background. I've always been very skinny, almost spindly. And it's like I've never been able to gain weight. I eat a lot. And now all of a sudden, since the nut came out... All right.

33:25 Adam Hold on a second. Let's... I got a theory. I know it sounds bizarre. Maybe the nut never went in, maybe breast implants instead. Sometimes your chart gets swapped at the cosmetic surgery center. Interesting, Drew. That's a lawsuit. Plus there's some actress walking around with a nut.

33:43 Moby On her labia?

33:44 Adam On her labia, yeah. Cause you know, when the charts get mixed up, they got to do the other one too. All right. So Drew, you get a nut removed. You still should have enough testosterone, shouldn't you?

33:57 Drew Absolutely. That one wasn't producing testosterone anyway. I wonder if somehow the shock of surgery...

34:01 Adam Why wasn't that one producing testosterone?

34:03 Drew Cause he had it, it was, it died.

34:05 Adam No, he got a soccer accident.

34:06 Moby Right.

34:07 Drew It was crushed or something.

34:08 Adam Well, I know, but before it was crushed, wasn't it producing something?

34:11 Drew Yes, before it was crushed, but the soccer accident was long ago.

34:14 Adam I thought the soccer accident was...

34:17 Moby Oh, we could ask.

34:19 Adam All right. We could ask. Ryan.

34:21 Yeah.

34:22 Drew No, no, Aaron.

34:22 Wrong question.

34:23 Drew Sorry, Ryan.

34:23 Adam Sorry, Aaron. Sorry. Aaron, when was the soccer accident?

34:27 It was December 28th, right before New Year's.

34:32 Drew Okay. And they didn't test your testosterone levels after the procedure? Or recently?

34:37 Not recently since the prosthetic went in, no.

34:41 Drew Why not?

34:42 I don't know. I've gone to the doctor when they told me to and things like that. I have the follow-ups afterwards.

34:48 Drew And you've been saying, I think something's happened to me. I'm losing my testosterone, peripheral testosterone effects. What could be happening? And they blew you off.

34:59 No, no. Well, when I went back to the doctor after the boobs started manifesting, I went in and my doctor almost started laughing at me and it was really uncomfortable and things like that. So.

35:14 Drew No. It doesn't make any sense at all.

35:16 Adam It feels very bogus, Aaron.

35:18 Well, yeah, it is. It is.

35:20 Drew Yeah. Thank you.

35:21 All right.

35:23 Moby If you were to lose a testicle and have a drop in testosterone, what other symptoms would you have?

35:29 Drew If you lose a testicle, your other testicle picks up quite nicely. There's nothing. What I was trying to build a case for is maybe somehow that was manipulated during surgery inadvertently and maybe there was some transient drop, there would not be a permanent drop.

35:40 Adam I got another theory.

35:41 Drew But if you lost both your testes, what was the question?

35:44 Moby If for some reason.

35:45 Drew Your testosterone shut off. Let's say you got a pituitary tumor producing prolactin that shuts your testosterone down. Usually those tumors actually occur sort of before puberty or often they do. And even if they don't, the fact is your sex drive goes away, you start feeling less aggressive, more sort of docile, you're not interested in girls anymore, you're not interested in competing. There's a great book out there called Man-Made about a guy that had a tumor going through adolescence and how he felt.

36:10 Adam I thought it was a sitcom about a gay maid. That would be funny. It moves in with a family of Jehovah's Witnesses. That's funny.

36:19 Drew Man-Made, M-A-T-E, not M-A-I-D.

36:21 Adam Yeah, but a flamboyant black guy.

36:23 Moby It would be funny.

36:24 Adam And I think the family of Jehovah's Witnesses, that would be funny.

36:26 Moby I think that would be really good, yeah.

36:28 Drew But he talks about how he liked girls, but he wasn't really that into it in sports, he could never really compete. He got the tumor out, it's a brain tumor, and his testosterone levels came up, and he describes how when he sort of came to life out of this, he was like, couldn't believe it, he wanted to chase goats to the fields and rip their throats out with his teeth. He became a professional hockey player, and he became quite the swordsman with the ladies.

36:50 Adam Yeah, without saying c**tman on the air, because they do say that.

36:54 Moby I think c**tman, c**tman.

36:56 Adam That's right, worked on a boat. All right, let me say a couple of things. Theory number one, I say that the replacement testy they put in him weighed 25 pounds, and that's where the weight came from. They put a cannonball inside, put a medicine ball in his sack. So what I'm doing, I would definitely go bigger if I...

37:18 Drew Well, let's just fill your sack, put a medicine ball in there. Yeah, to be honest here.

37:22 Adam I don't even want a replacement testicle, I want compressed air.

37:28 Drew Get back to the clown's mouth thing.

37:29 Adam And God forbid there's ever a maritime disaster. Who's covered?

37:34 Drew Yeah, you're sack.

37:34 Moby But you would drown because you'd just be floating.

37:36 Drew All the way down.

37:37 Moby The Coast Guard would come by and there's big, distended sack floating on top.

37:41 Adam I'd crawl on top, and I would save a few lucky gents for the water with me. The other thing, Drew, is I would like to convince each testy that the other one was gone. So they started producing.

37:54 Moby Testosterone, but too much testosterone isn't such a fun thing.

37:58 Adam I would just like to do it for six months.

38:00 Moby You guys both have all your hair, which is great, and I congratulate you for it.

38:04 Drew What he's saying is he has more testosterone.

38:07 Adam Well, he does.

38:07 Drew That's right.

38:08 Moby And yes, I mean, if you want more testosterone, suddenly you have to say goodbye to your hair.

38:12 Adam Well, that's true. Yeah. Well, we'll be like hairy chicks. It'll be awesome.

38:17 Drew You might lose that hair in your ass then.

38:18 Adam Oh, Drew, how dare you? Right in front of it too. Moby, I'll tell you the great thing. There's no, you kids don't know how lucky you have it today with the wear your hair however you wanted to wear it. Because Moby, you're not an old man, but not a screwy chicken.

38:36 Moby I'm not a young man either.

38:37 Adam But when did the hair start to thin out for you?

38:40 Moby The hair started thinning about 12 years ago.

38:43 Adam And what age were you, if you don't mind me asking?

38:46 Moby I'm 39 now, so that was like late 20s.

38:48 Adam All right, so late 20s, the hair starts thinning. And as it does with guys, it starts thinning around the top and the sides seem to be okay.

38:56 Moby But something I just have to point out, because radio's not really a visual medium. While you were doing that, not just for the benefit of the people listening, you were caressing Drew's head.

39:03 Adam Oh yeah.

39:04 Drew Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Well he does that anyway.

39:06 Adam So you should see where my big toe is. I'll let you smell it during the break. The point-

39:11 Drew Remember that river you mentioned at the beginning?

39:13 Moby Oh yeah.

39:13 Adam The point is, you would, now see in the 70s, if you were a rocker or in the music industry, you would have to grow a ponytail with what was left of your hair, and then you look like David Crosby, just some sort of maniac.

39:25 Drew Not just a ponytail, you'd have to have some sort of weird mad scientist stuff coming out the side.

39:30 Adam Yeah, you'd look like a knickknack from Rocky Horror Picture Show or something.

39:35 Moby And now, thank goodness, the precedent has been set for musicians with shaved heads. Otherwise, I'd be sunk.

39:42 Adam Oh, if this was 1973, you'd have crazy bozo hair. You'd have to have 14-inch hair, except for nothing on top. Yeah, it was horrible. Remember those weird bald guys who would have to have like ponytails?

39:54 Drew Bozo is the perfect description.

39:56 Adam It was horrible.

39:57 Drew Bozo actually looked a little better, a little more grown.

39:59 Adam Well, there was a context. All right, Moby here tonight with the shaved head and Ladies Love. We'll take a quick break. Hotel, name of the CD. We'll be right back after this.

40:09 Hey, how you doing?

40:11 Ooh, look at your hair. Hello, this is your radio.

40:14 Love Line will be ready.

40:41 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Moby, in studio tonight. Hotel, name of the new CD. Go to www.mobyquietdrew.com. Drew has this, no matter how many times we discuss it, Drew has this weird impulse to jump in in the middle of me giving address.

41:01 Drew I was just telling you, just telling you how I'd like to say something.

41:03 Adam I know, and that was good. Yelled your hand. Oftentimes, you will pop in when I'm giving the name of the book or the album or whatever. It's weird.

41:10 Drew It's not good.

41:11 Adam Go ahead, go ahead.

41:12 Drew Looking for newly singly divorced couples.

41:13 Adam I didn't want to say this about the newly... No, go ahead.

41:17 Drew For Discovery Health Channel. Newly divorced for single couples who are starting to... Single people are trying to start a date again and come on television and talk about their experiences and also young married couples for this program. So thank you.

41:27 Adam I saw... So obviously, the Pope passed on over the weekend and I saw a guy who was an expert on sainthood being interviewed on the evening news.

41:40 Moby I was wondering where you were going to go with this because I was like... It seems like I'm just wondering if it's a little too early for Pope jokes. Well, I'm... My opinion notwithstanding, but it's just...

41:49 Adam No, it is. Well, here's the deal. I'm trying to think with like making... Because obviously, at a certain point, you can make fun of... We'll be able to do John Benet Ramsey jokes and our kids will, God willing. No, I'm just saying, once you get... No, maybe our kids' kids. Once the person would have been dead by natural causes anyway, you're allowed to do whatever you want.

42:10 Moby A little bit of time and distance.

42:11 Adam Yeah, yeah. People do jokes about the Lindbergh baby. It was a little baby, right? You can do a joke about that because it would have been dead by now, right? All right. And who knows what kind of damage you would have done as a teen, you know what I'm saying?

42:25 Drew Yeah, yeah.

42:27 Adam We can speculate, but we can joke about that. Now, you're not supposed to make jokes about people who just died, but I say if they're over 80, it's almost game on.

42:37 Drew Because it's their normal life expectancy.

42:40 Adam Yeah, they made it. So much of the...

42:42 Drew I hope when I get there that that's in fact what will happen.

42:44 Adam So much as...

42:45 Drew Immediately begin joking.

42:46 Adam Sadness of dying. I'll organize the roast.

42:49 Drew Thank you, thank you.

42:50 Adam Drew up there in a casket, more animated than he is on the show, by the way. Deceased. Yeah, but the point... Yeah, my point is, no, I don't have a Pope joke, but when they're talking about the qualifications of becoming sainted, I saw an expert on like, you know, Nightline or something. And it's like, they have guys to sit around. It's like, first off, it's five years. You have to be dead for five years before you can be reviewed, which is funny because it's the same period for the Baseball Hall of Fame. Oh my God. It's really a Hall of Fame. But it's... And I'm sure they came first. I'm sure, you know, the Pro Football Hall of Fame, the Baseball Hall of Fame probably ripped them off. But essentially, you got to be retired or dead. In terms of being sainted, you need to be dead for five years. And then, they need to verify miracles. And they need to. And they argue about them. Like, there's this thing where, like, I think Mother Teresa should be sainted. How come? Well, one time when she was in Sri Lanka, this chick had a big tumor, she came up to her and she put her hand on her belly and said, my child, you're cured. And the chick was cured later on. And someone is like, yeah, I don't know. She was doing some chemo too, so that doesn't really count. And then they argue over whether things are miracles or not. And if you get two confirmed kills under your belt, then you can move on to sainthood, which is, which is comical. But it's funny when they're just sort of adults, educated adults and they're sitting around and they're going, yeah, I wouldn't call that a miracle, maybe a mini miracle, but not, not really because she was undergoing some, she was talking to her oncologist during the time she actually met the Pope. So I don't think his hand laying upon her abdomen really did it. And then people argue over other things and they need, things need to be confirmed. Do you have a picture of that miracle? Well, we need an affidavit from the Guatemalan chick whose tumor was cured by the Pope. Can we get her in here?

44:47 Drew And by the tumors, the, the, the tumors, the miracles are never true feats outside of natural forces. They're always things that are speculated to be impossible, to be becoming possible. It's impossible for her to cure it, and she got cured.

45:01 Adam Here's what I want. Get out the video camera, he takes his staff, he points it at a shrub, it bursts into flames. That's one. I'm counting that one. If, when we gotta look around, make sure there's no pyrotechnics involved or anything.

45:15 Moby But I wonder if before someone, like someone who might be a candidate for sainthood before they die, if they maybe sort of like fabricate some like stunts that might-

45:23 Adam I would definitely work something up.

45:24 Moby You know, like get someone to like, get some sort of like fake prosthetic tumor.

45:28 Adam Yeah.

45:29 Moby And you come up and put your hand on it.

45:31 Drew Then you're those guys-

45:31 Moby You just happen to have the video camera there.

45:32 Drew Right, then you're one of those guys that does operations with knives.

45:36 Adam I'm just, I'm with Moby. If I knew I was on the cusp of sainthood and close to the grave, I would-

45:45 Drew You'd figure something out.

45:45 Adam I'd bring a couple of Patsy's in, work out a tumor too, just to play it safe. Cause what I would like is like six or eight miracles. And then they could still shoot holes in three or four of them, still be left with a handful. Okay.

45:58 Drew Good times.

45:58 Adam All right. I just like the idea that someone's like, hey, I want to make Mother Teresa saint. No way. Are you high? Please, what has that bitch done for anybody? What the deuce? Come on. You let Mother Teresa in, you open the floodgates. Let's see if Pete Rose wants to be sainted. Come on, let's go people. Let's focus now.

46:19 Moby And also, you know how like once someone's royalty, they can sell their title? Yeah. Like if you're the Viscount of Gloucester, you can sell your Viscount-ness to some like I don't know, guy who sells used cars in Toledo.

46:29 Adam That's how my dad became the Viscount of Gloucester.

46:32 Drew Nice.

46:32 Moby But I wonder if you can sell sainthood. Like suppose like your dad. Yeah, the family falls on hard times and like their great, great, great, great grand uncle was a saint. So can you sell their sainthood to, I don't know, Donald Trump or Bill Gates?

46:45 Adam You don't need to sell it. Just imagine the endorsement deals that would roll in.

46:48 Moby Yeah.

46:49 Adam Yeah. Forget about winning the World Series. Put you on, put you on the Wheaties. Cracker companies, that's a natural. Just do the math, you know, sacrament. All right, we'll take a quick break. Engineer Chris has no idea what happened in this show.

47:05 Caller We'll take a quick break.

47:06 Adam Moby, the thought provoking Moby in studio tonight. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Moby in studio tonight. We have the interesting, thought-provoking, Moby, nice guy. Nice guy.

47:48 Moby It's mighty kind of you to say.

47:50 Adam I like nice people. And a gentle person. I was...

47:54 Moby But filled with testosterone, as we've...

47:56 Drew And narcissistic, as we play.

47:57 Moby And narcissistic, yeah. Narcissistic, gentle person with no hair, filled with testosterone.

48:01 Adam No, he's seething with testosterone. His hair didn't... It's passionate.

48:06 Moby Yeah, that's the priapism.

48:07 Adam Hair did not fall out, it got shot out. Actually, like a bloat gun, you know.

48:14 Moby I ran screaming from my head.

48:16 Adam Yeah, it just blew out of there, so much testosterone pumping.

48:19 Moby Don't do drugs.

48:21 Adam Yes. All right, where are we, Drew?

48:23 Drew Start with number four.

48:25 Adam I was watching a commercial last night. I saw a commercial for, I don't know, some medication for venereal warts or herpes or something. They're doing a lot of, now it's fair game with the medication.

48:38 Drew That's game on.

48:39 Adam The boner stuff sort of paved the way for all the other stuff you got going in your pants. And everyone said, look, they can advertise stuff for boners, what about for crabs or herpes or-

48:47 Drew Really important things, chlamydia and stuff.

48:48 Adam Chlamydia or gonorrhea. And so whenever you see the commercial, it's usually always about going, the person is going about their business. They're never in a fetal position crying on the phone, crying and blaming. They're going about their business. And now they got their partner with them, although it's unclear if that's the person they got it from. And it's usually implied that this guy has it, but he's still moving on with his life. He's got a beautiful lady with him. And I was thinking, you know, it's kind of a bad gig as an actor. Like you'd much rather be the brawny lumberjack than you would be the guy stricken with the vanilla warts. But worst gig, the girlfriend. Who are you, the actors? No, I'm the chick who's staying with the guy who cheated on me with the General Awards, or whatever the math is. Just being the actress who's with the guy with the General Awards. I say worst gig. Great. All right, hypothetical for both of you. I've asked this. Which would you rather?

49:47 Drew For a million dollars.

49:48 Adam Now listen, I'm gonna paint a very graphic picture, but we don't need to ask any questions. This is a strip club. Here's the hypothetical. There's a strip club. The strip club, there are no lap dances going on at this strip club.

50:01 Moby Okay, so it's an out of business strip club.

50:02 Adam Right. It doesn't exist anymore. Only my hypothetical world. It's a little, little bit.

50:07 Drew It used to exist in Los Angeles during a brief period of...

50:09 Adam Yeah, I used to go to a place like this. This is a place, it's kind of a flash dance type. It's a PG-13R rated movie strip club. Three dances, topless. Top comes off on the third dance, lights lower. No grabbing, no face plants, nothing like that. No...

50:28 Moby Is this in one of the red states?

50:30 Adam This is, this would be in a red state, yeah. All right, now...

50:33 Drew Moby objects.

50:34 Adam Now, this is club. Now, your daughter either dances at this club or she's the one who runs out there with the Windex bottle to clean off the mirror and put the Purell on the pole and wipe that down, desanitize the club.

50:49 Moby That's the question?

50:50 Adam Yeah, about every, about every second or third dancer, she's got to run out there like the guy fall as the elephant when the circus comes down.

50:55 Drew You have explained to me that in these, now, when we talk to people on this show that they're calling, that are strippers, they're usually full-fledged strippers. So I've never really talked to one of these women that does the sort of bikini dance and thing. But you've dated one of those. And you've educated me that...

51:10 Adam But don't bring the baggage. Don't bring the emotional baggage with you.

51:13 Drew I'm just saying. You've educated me that that is not as... I don't want to use too strong a word. Troubled a group, diverse a group. So yes, I'll go for the dancer.

51:23 Adam You're going dancer.

51:24 Moby So she's just... I think it's hard without a little more detail. Like what's she doing with the money? Is she giving it to her like deadbeat musician boyfriend? Or is she saving it to buy insulin for a child?

51:34 Adam Yeah, that's the part you have to do your own math on. But let's just assume that the money's just going to...

51:41 Moby Well, the thing is I've known a lot of dancers. And none of them seem particularly happy with their line of work.

51:47 Drew No, no, but that's true. But at least if somebody is a dancer, they may have other capacities to maneuver through life.

51:54 Moby I would go with the woman cleaning the pole with the Purell. Because I think that she's going to be able to go home and fall asleep next to her boyfriend and not feel bad about it.

52:05 Drew Not hate men.

52:06 Adam What about if she runs out on stage and there's some guy, some drunken guy yelling, you missed a spot, sweetie.

52:15 Moby If she was my daughter, I would have taught her martial arts at an early age. She could wait in the parking lot form and crush his trachea with her foot. I like that.

52:23 Adam All right.

52:23 Moby I'm going Moby.

52:24 Adam All right. Hey, Hazel, you missed a cheek smudge spot on the mirror. I just started laughing. She's always got a little, her ass is a little too big to strip and she's wearing the black tights, you know, and hoping it goes away. Which one? So I'm gonna make this in.

52:41 Moby I'm gonna go with-

52:42 Adam You're going with the mop.

52:43 Moby Because I think long-term has the chance of emerging less scathe. Yes.

52:48 Drew Okay.

52:48 Adam She's not bringing down the kind of money. That's not the kind of money.

52:52 Moby But then again, I've never known dancers to be really responsible when it comes to money. Some are. I don't want to cast aspersions on all of them.

52:58 Adam This is your daughter. She would be more responsible with that money.

53:01 Drew When you start doing that, then it becomes, well, she wouldn't be a dancer, so.

53:03 Adam Well, but in my hypothetical world, she's got to dance or clean up after the dancer. Drew, which is it?

53:10 Drew The cleanup.

53:11 Adam Cleanup? You've now changed.

53:13 Drew Changed.

53:13 Adam All right. All right. Who's going to tell your daughter? I have to talk to her. All right. Daddy says you're going to mop up after Stray Kids. I'm sorry, sweetie. All right. Drew, seriously. And then, oh, and then it's, it's a bachelor party.

53:28 Drew You're going to make it worse?

53:29 Adam And the whipped cream comes out. And she's spraying the whipped cream around. It's getting on the floor. She's got to come in and mop it off.

53:35 Moby Tears falling. But we've been to bachelor parties and we've seen the sort of the barter. What women who get hired to work bachelor parties have to put up with. I'm going to go with the clean up person because.

53:46 Adam No idea.

53:48 Drew I've never seen.

53:49 Moby No, it's like degrading misogyny at its worst.

53:54 Adam They drink a.

53:54 Drew And you go.

53:55 Moby What's that?

53:56 Drew You've gone.

53:56 Moby I've been to a few, yeah.

53:57 A few.

53:58 Adam Yeah.

53:58 Drew Oh my goodness.

53:59 Adam Drew's bachelor party, they drink Pepsi free and play Connect Four. And then at about 8.45 someone yawns really big.

54:09 And then everyone goes, well, my pager's going off.

54:12 Moby That's me for the night.

54:13 Adam Better call it a night.

54:14 Drew Campari and Mr. Pibb.

54:18 Adam Drew's not allowed to go to bachelor parties. Moby to bachelor party. I picture Moby just getting ripped and maybe hopping on a couple of strippers or something like that.

54:28 Drew He's clued us in to the passion.

54:29 Moby I've got a dirty past.

54:30 Adam Really?

54:31 Moby Yeah. A very, very boring present but a dirty past.

54:33 Drew That's why guys like that can't go to those kinds of parties, you see.

54:36 Adam When it, oh, getting a little cathartic for Drew. It is true that when it comes to a male sexuality especially, just hard to judge a book by its cover. It really is. Moby, obviously a man of passion. Drew, a man of exquisite passion. Me who people think is some sort of escaped mental patient, pedophile, rapist, lunatic is really sort of boring.

55:01 Moby You just want to be held?

55:02 Adam Yeah, and beat off.

55:03 Moby You want to just beat off. Much more boring.

55:05 Adam Yeah. Tony?

55:08 Yeah, what's going on, man?

55:10 Adam 22. What's up, man? What's going on? Tony?

55:16 Moby Hey, Tony.

55:17 How's it going, bro?

55:18 Adam Yeah, what's that?

55:21 Just kidding, what are we doing for it now? Basically, I'm a 22-year-old sex addict addicted to prostitution, mostly, massage places, few escorts, a lot of street hookers, kind of things like that. And the thing is, it's costing me a lot of money.

55:39 Adam What's a street hooker, Rania, these days for intercourse?

55:43 Oh, for intercourse.

55:46 Drew Which he never bothers with, by the way.

55:48 Adam What do you get, oral sex?

55:50 Mostly, yeah, from street hookers, I get oral.

55:54 Adam What's that, Rania?

55:56 I can get it from anywhere as low as $10 to maybe $300.

56:01 Drew Oh, $300.

56:02 Adam And what kind of gratuity do you do on $10? Do you make him like a $1.70 or what? I mean, you're supposed to tip at a $10. I think you can round up.

56:13 Moby Round up. I mean, like, you don't have to stick to that 17% law.

56:16 Adam Oh, really?

56:17 Moby Yeah, there's like a minimum shelf at $5.

56:19 Adam I see. Okay, so you might, so my $10 BJ would cost you $15. Okay.

56:24 Well, depending on how good she is, yeah, I would.

56:26 Adam Oh, right, right. Of course. Yeah, you don't want to, you don't want to pay that.

56:29 The problem now is just that, basically, what it comes down to is, I do want to stop this. It's getting really bad. And every time I try to stop it and save money, when I make enough, I will be right back out there again, trying to...

56:44 Drew Have you been addicted to any chemicals ever in the past?

56:46 No, surprisingly, no, I have not.

56:49 Moby Can I ask an odd question? If, I mean, I don't understand the difference between sex addiction and sex enthusiasm, because it seems like if you're in a relationship that you would be with someone who would also have a lot of enthusiasm for sex and you wouldn't have to pay anything and it would be safe and you could have a nice, loving, fantastic sex life.

57:07 Adam What about it, Drew?

57:09 Drew Let's let him answer that. Why can't he do that?

57:10 Adam He's not going to answer that.

57:11 That's just the problem. I'm kind of shallow. Yeah, I know. I'm sorry to say that, but I'm a real shallow kind of person. I really want to, you know, I am seeing, well, talk to Dayton, you know, a really fantastic girl. She's really, really cool. But, you know, physically, she just doesn't really do it for me on that level.

57:34 Adam Well, here's all, we got a bad connection. I'm going to put them on hold. I'll answer for Moby's question for Tony, which is there's no thrill in doing whatever to the same person over and over and over again. There needs to be a thrill.

57:48 Drew There's a thrill seeking part here. It's a rather complex issue because on one hand, it may be that if he does find somebody that really turns him on, it would create a level of intimacy that he couldn't tolerate. So that's really what this is about, is being unable to be in a real relationship. Secondly, it is a, as Adam has mentioned, it needs a certain level of intensity. That usually these guys that get sexually addicted kind of keep upping the ante in terms of what it is they're going for.

58:12 Moby Because it's just my experience is the most exciting, thrilling sex I've ever had has been in stable, committed relationships where I've known the person really well, and you can actually get very experimental and it's very intimate. It's like physically a lot more interesting, emotionally a lot more interesting.

58:26 Adam Well, yeah, you're healthy. Well, no, I mean, it's sort of like saying, look, I enjoy a cocktail in the social situation, but I don't understand why you drink at 8 a.m. before you went to work.

58:38 Drew It's like, well, he's got a problem.

58:40 Adam That's why he does it. I love booze, sex, you like booze and sex, but you don't have to go with prostitutes.

58:46 Drew Environmental reasons for this, the most common reason environmentally to trigger this stuff is some sort of kind of like Tony would have premature sexual experiences, like before the age of 11 kind of thing.

58:55 Adam Tony?

58:56 Yeah, exactly. Dr. Drew was saying that premature, I was molested by my grandmother when I was about four or five.

59:03 Drew Yeah, I'm sorry. So that's what triggers this.

59:05 Adam Grandmother.

59:05 Drew So why is this in?

59:07 Moby Yeah. Is there any way to go into couples? Like if you're in a relationship that seems really supportive and something you want to stick to, can you go into therapy with your partner?

59:15 Drew No, that would have little effect on this. He would be useful in the context of a more global treatment plan for his addiction. The place to start, Tony, is maybe if you're in LA, the Delamo Treatment Center has got a lot of people expert in treating sexual compulsion, sexual addiction. So I would check that out.

59:31 Adam And by the way, talk about spinning a compass, 13 and then listen, I don't want to, again, I don't label, but Jewish or Asian?

59:44 Neither.

59:45 Adam Oh, okay. Wait a minute. What? What is it?

59:49 Mexican-Irish.

59:50 Adam Shocking. Okay. I know almost 100% on these things. Once in a while, I'm wrong. It's usually the Asians and the Jews that do that.

59:58 Moby But if it's a result of like early childhood sexual trauma, it's certainly not shallow behavior.

1:00:03 Drew No, I was sort of amused at the way our culture would like to cast these things out as shallowness. I'm just into physical things. No, it's far more complex than that. And it's much more poignant than that, too. It's much more human than that.

1:00:15 Adam Well, here's the thing. Almost all sort of fiddling or tampering with a child manifests itself sexually at some point. And it's almost always a bad thing.

1:00:25 Drew Yes. The things that terrorize in childhood are converted into attraction in adulthood.

1:00:31 Adam Right. So grandmother having relations with you is a good nine and a half on a sort of F meter when it comes to a kid.

1:00:40 Drew Yes.

1:00:41 Adam I mean, and boys are usually a little more durable emotionally as kids. Grandma coming at him that direction has got to be enough just to spin him around. So of course you then get into this. As a matter of fact, he probably could be worse off.

1:00:55 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:00:56 Adam He could be killing these people when he's done with them. Tony.

1:01:00 Yes.

1:01:01 Adam What did, what, with your grandmother, did you have sex with her?

1:01:04 No, it was nothing like that. As far as I can remember, basically.

1:01:08 Adam Just a little making out, some handholding.

1:01:10 I remember a lot of fondling.

1:01:11 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

1:01:13 I remember having a body part.

1:01:15 Adam Oh, God knows what was done to her 60 years before that. Right. Is she-

1:01:21 Drew In Tony's case, 45 years.

1:01:23 Right.

1:01:24 Adam Is she still alive?

1:01:26 Yeah. She's still alive. This is all from my, stems from my mother's side of the family, which is just totally effed up family. All right.

1:01:35 Adam Irish or Mexican?

1:01:37 They're the Irish part.

1:01:38 Adam Oh, that's a nice twist. All right. Okay. All right, there.

1:01:42 Drew Well, Tony, Zalamo, if you don't want to go to the facility, 12-Step SA, you can call just any AA program and ask for a referral to SA.

1:01:50 Adam Yeah, the thing about any form, I think, you know, everyone always talks about math and booze and stuff like that, but gambling, sex, those will take you down about as fast.

1:02:01 Drew Sure, absolutely, and people are even more ashamed of those, and so it's harder to get them to treatment, but if they go to a 12-step meeting, they'll find people, dozens, with their story, exactly what they have been dealing with, and people that will support them through it.

1:02:16 Adam Germany or Florida?

1:02:16 Drew Yes.

1:02:17 Adam All right.

1:02:17 Drew Need a break.

1:02:18 Adam Erin?

1:02:19 Drew Yeah.

1:02:20 Adam You're 16?

1:02:21 Drew Yep.

1:02:21 Adam You want to play a little Germany or Florida?

1:02:23 Caller Yes, I do.

1:02:24 Adam Moby, here's how the game goes. All bizarre stories. Oh, this is awesome. All bizarre stories either emanate from Germany or Florida. We've learned from doing this program. They tell us the story and then we guess. Is it Germany or Florida? Oh, and by the way...

1:02:40 Moby Do we all get to guess?

1:02:41 Adam We all get to guess. We all, excluding engineer Chris, who's... Hey, Erin?

1:02:47 Yeah?

1:02:48 Adam Hold on one second. Anderson, I ran into David Allen Grier Thursday night.

1:02:53 Drew He emailed me too.

1:02:54 Shut up!

1:02:55 Adam He was angry that we weren't playing his Germany or Florida theme. I, of course, blamed it on Anderson. But now, and it is his fault, now I'm going to ask Anderson to go ahead and find David Allen Grier, or DAG, or my name and... It's Germany or Florida! There we go.

1:03:17 Moby That was fantastic. It was been a half the night working on that.

1:03:19 Adam Awesome. All right, Erin, go ahead.

1:03:22 Moby Okay.

1:03:23 Caller The all-time record holder for eating the most would appear to be a 23-year-old fashion model. At what turned out to be her last meal, the young woman managed to put away 19 pounds of food, one pound of liver, two pounds of kidney, a half pound of steak, one pound of cheese, two eggs, two thick slices of bread, one cauliflower, 10 peaches, four pears, two apples, four bananas, two pounds each of plums, carrots, and grapes, and two glasses of milk, whereupon her stomach blew and she died.

1:03:53 It's just doesn't blow.

1:03:54 Drew Yeah, there's no such thing as that.

1:03:56 Adam Drew, what happened to stomach pumping? It was so popular when I was young.

1:04:01 Drew That's really when they invented the NG tube, nasogastric tube, and the between.

1:04:04 Adam Rod Stewart had to have his stomach pumped because he ingested so much semen.

1:04:08 Caller Yeah.

1:04:09 I love that one.

1:04:10 Adam Oh, by the way, hypothetical, you're a celebrity. Are you Richard Gere with someone put a gerbil in your ass or you're Rod Stewart with the ingested so much semen had to have his stomach pumped?

1:04:22 Moby Rod Stewart, as far as street cred, as far as I can, I think I'd have to go with Richard Gere as well.

1:04:31 Adam Yeah, I go Gere too, although you do get the PETA guys on your ass in that case.

1:04:35 Drew It wasn't your fault though.

1:04:37 Moby So her story, my guess is based, it's based on one thing, the cauliflower. Cauliflower is quite popular in Germany.

1:04:46 Adam Ah, not in Florida. She said kidneys too.

1:04:48 Drew The older animal parts are also non-Floridian parts.

1:04:52 Moby I can't imagine a fashion model in Florida being really into cauliflower.

1:04:55 Drew No. Or anything else that was eaten here.

1:04:58 Adam Hey Erin.

1:04:59 Caller Yeah?

1:04:59 Adam So she was a model?

1:05:00 Caller Yep.

1:05:01 Adam And why did she put away all this in some sort of competition?

1:05:04 It doesn't say.

1:05:05 Adam Okay.

1:05:06 Drew This is like from the, you know, national quire or something crazy.

1:05:08 Adam The giblets part leads us, and the cauliflower part leads us to believe Germany, although peaches. I think we're all going Germany on this one. Gentlemen?

1:05:18 Drew Germany.

1:05:18 Moby Germany.

1:05:19 Adam Aaron?

1:05:19 Moby Germany.

1:05:20 Adam Florida. Florida. Damn.

1:05:24 Drew Brutal.

1:05:24 Caller Liar, liar whore, liar whore, you know it.

1:05:27 Adam Wow, Moby, please.

1:05:29 Drew Now with that must have been Florida, must have been somebody who went and puked repeatedly during this whole experience and eventually died of some electrolyte problem.

1:05:37 Adam Interesting. All right, but her stomach exploded, right?

1:05:39 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.

1:05:40 Adam All right, Aaron, thanks for calling the show. You stumped us all. If you don't call them for that, you'll get nothing.

1:05:44 Drew Well done.

1:05:45 Adam Well done, though. Wow. The cauliflower.

1:05:49 Moby I feel kind of guilty, because I misled you guys.

1:05:51 Drew No, no, we were already going to Germany.

1:05:52 Adam You know, they were going bread and liver and kidneys and things like that. I immediately went Germany.

1:05:58 Moby And the fruits were not tropical fruits for the most part, which also led me to Germany.

1:06:02 Drew Peaches, though.

1:06:03 Adam Peaches. Well, I was peaches.

1:06:04 Moby Peaches are not tropical. I mean, but they're Florida.

1:06:06 Adam They had bananas in there, too. I don't know how difficult it is to get hold of bananas and peaches in Germany.

1:06:13 Moby It also depends on when this happened. If it happened before the wall came down in East Germany.

1:06:18 Adam I would imagine it's more recent. Ryan.

1:06:24 Caller Hey, what's up?

1:06:25 Adam Fan of Moby?

1:06:27 Caller Yeah, yeah.

1:06:28 Adam Here he is.

1:06:29 Caller Yeah, I've been a big fan for a long time, actually.

1:06:32 Back when you were doing the New Child and Barracuda days.

1:06:35 Moby Wow, that's going back almost 15 years.

1:06:38 Caller Yeah, yeah. Good stuff, man. You've been doing awesome music.

1:06:42 Moby Thank you.

1:06:43 Caller A question for you. I don't know if you have any good or bad memories about working with Alan Wilder from Depeche Mode.

1:06:52 Moby Yeah, it was very interesting. I first started making records about 15 years ago, and after my first record came out, and at this point you have to understand I was making maybe $150 a month living in the Lower East Side of Manhattan, and I get a call from Depeche Mode's manager. And at this point Depeche Mode is the biggest band in the world, and they want me to come do vocals on Alan Wilder, who is in Depeche Mode on one of his records.

1:07:17 Adam He's doing a solo project?

1:07:20 Moby He's making a solo project, and they want me to come and rap on one of his songs.

1:07:23 Adam Wow.

1:07:25 Drew Where do they hear you? Where do they see you?

1:07:26 Moby I think they had seen me at a little nightclub in Berlin called Tresor, and I was a little flabbergasted, A, that someone from Depeche Mode had heard of me, B, I'm not a rapper, but I did it. And so I went, they flew me to this studio in London, and I'm sitting in the bathroom trying to write a rap.

1:07:47 Adam Oh, you got to come up with the rap.

1:07:48 Moby I have to come up with the rap, and I'm like, and I have no time to come up with it. So I was panic stricken and it ended up turning out okay. Wow. But, and it's funny, cause I didn't think anyone had actually heard it. So I'm kind of surprised that I'm being asked about it.

1:08:01 Adam Had you been rapping in the club in Berlin?

1:08:03 Moby No, not really. I don't know where they got this. Maybe they thought because I was from New York, that all people from New York have this innate ability to rap. But alas with me, that's not the case.

1:08:12 Adam Wow. But it came out just fine.

1:08:15 Moby It seemed, I mean, yeah, I haven't heard it in a long time. So I'm amazed that-

1:08:19 Adam Beach is ain't shh, but hoes and freaks suck on these bowls and leak on these dee- Oh wait. I was sure I could say-

1:08:30 Moby That's fantastic.

1:08:31 Adam I got Bakhan like John Mockenro. That Beach steps up, I'm smocking the hole. That was-

1:08:38 Drew Well, how's pain?

1:08:39 Adam That was back when I was, I used to be a Catholic big brother. I swear to Christ. And I used to cart around my kid named Nate, and Nate hooked up with Tim, big fat Russian kid who befriended him. I think Tim just made friends with Nate, so I would take him to the beach. And the funniest part is really the guy's name Tim, which is the first six months I knew him. I thought his name was Team, like the basketball team. Yeah, because I would say like, what's your name, Team? Team? Yes, Team. You mean Tim, right?

1:09:16 Drew Tim, let's go.

1:09:17 Adam No, Team. It's weird. He couldn't do the Tim part of the team and he never seemed to know what I was talking about, but he's a big fat kid. And it really made me realize what a horrible culture we live in because as bad as his mother Russia was, as soon as he came here, he just big fat white kid got into gangsta rap and that was it for him. And so he used to sit and bust these rhymes behind me while we're driving out to the beach and it was basically Tim, the Russian rapper. God knows where his team is today. Oh, can't be up to any good because he was getting suspended. Russian's a tough breed over there. You know what I'm saying?

1:09:58 Drew Yeah. He could be in jail somewhere.

1:10:00 Adam Oh yeah. If we're lucky. All right. What do I do?

1:10:03 Drew Alas, Moby must go.

1:10:06 Adam Oh yes. Moby has to wake up to crack a don tomorrow. And it's an hour earlier than the crack a don.

1:10:11 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:10:13 Adam Here's how you know you're a loser. You walk around in a funk the entire day because you miss your hour.

1:10:19 Drew Yeah.

1:10:19 Adam Essentially, what I did is I basically squandered 13 hours today lamenting the loss of my one hour, woke up angry, looking at the clock like, what is it? 840? Oh, it's almost 10. I was angry and then I just paced around all day wanting my hour. I think they should do it incrementally. Let's just do it 15 minutes.

1:10:43 Moby But Daylight Savings Time was started by Ben Franklin, right?

1:10:46 Drew No, it probably started after, well, according to National Treasure, the movie started after World War I.

1:10:50 Adam Oh, yeah, the Nick Cage. Nick Cage clearly expressed it when he was doing the, during the scene where he's rappelling into the volcano.

1:10:57 Moby But at this point, it just serves no purpose whatsoever, because I think it was a way for sort of like when we were a manufacturing-based economy to keeping people in factories.

1:11:06 Adam I thought it was a farm-related thing.

1:11:09 Drew But I don't, I also, there's a lot of different forces to bear it. Even even charcoal companies make a big deal about maintaining it, because people don't barbecue as much if.

1:11:16 Adam I just, I, it's the one thing I like about Arizona, because I just want, no, no, we're not going along. We're not going with this, right. But here's what I'm saying. I could do it if we, I could get behind it if we did it in like 10 or 15 minute increments. It's like, okay, this week.

1:11:32 Drew Leading up to April.

1:11:33 Adam Yeah. At 2 a.m. you set your clock to 2 15 a.m. And then, and then a week later you're up to 2 30. And it's like, Yeah, over a month we got it. It's like climbing in a jacuzzi and having it warm up instead of being burned for the entire day.

1:11:46 Drew That's well done.

1:11:47 Adam That's what it is. Instead of walking around just angry all day today. What? Got mauled by a tiger, lost part of his penis. Are you kidding me?

1:11:55 Drew Well, we'll find out.

1:11:57 Adam Wow. All right. Well, Moby, sorry buddy.

1:11:59 Drew You're gonna miss that one.

1:12:01 Moby Well, I'll listen to it in the car on the drive home.

1:12:03 Adam Please. And while you're doing that, you'll hear your new song, Beautiful, being played as well.

1:12:08 Moby And I need to give this little intro because I was playing this song for some friends of mine and they were commenting on what a simple song it is. And it's a song that was sort of inspired by, I was watching one of those VH1 specials about celebrity couples and I don't want to get in trouble, but it struck me just how simple and sort of dim so many celebrities are, as I'm sure you guys can attest to that fact. And so the song was inspired, I imagine it's like two kind of dim celebrities having breakfast or lunch together congratulating one another and just how attractive they were.

1:12:38 Adam All right, now we'll all have to remember that because we're not going to be able to play the song until we come back from the commercial break, which is, I want to apologize for Moby. But in general, she will go through the roof if we went to 28. All right, Moby, God bless you. Come in anytime you like. Hotel, name of the CD. We'll hear something off it after this. Hey, everybody, it's the Love Line, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Moby has left the building, kids. We'll still hear a little something off his hotel album.

1:13:24 Drew Do we do that first or talk to the guy who got mauled by the tiger? What do you think?

1:13:28 Adam Let's talk to the guy who got mauled by the tiger.

1:13:31 Drew Remember, I'm looking for people that are newly single and dating again, and or married couples want to talk about their relationships on Discovery Health Channel.

1:13:37 Adam I'm looking for people who have been mauled by tiger.

1:13:39 Drew We got one.

1:13:39 Adam Dave?

1:13:40 Yeah.

1:13:41 Adam You're 20?

1:13:42 Yeah, I'm 20.

1:13:44 Drew What the hell?

1:13:44 Adam You got mauled by a tiger and lost part of your penis?

1:13:47 Yeah.

1:13:47 Adam That's how my dad went.

1:13:49 Drew Really? Yeah. That's how he just became the way he is.

1:13:52 Adam Same way. No, that's how he went. What happened? Where do you work? Where did you find the tiger?

1:13:58 Well, I was actually a zookeeper down in Miami.

1:14:02 Drew Wow.

1:14:03 Adam At what age?

1:14:04 19. Wow.

1:14:07 Adam You get to be a zookeeper at 19?

1:14:10 Drew Yeah. You shovel the flop.

1:14:12 Adam You clean crap. All right.

1:14:13 Yeah. So I go in there and the tiger just jumps on me.

1:14:17 Drew Hang on one second, Dave. Hold on a second. Zookeeper, Adam immediately imagines that it's Mr. Peebles or Mr. Whipple or something.

1:14:24 Adam Yeah.

1:14:24 Drew The zoo, the commandant of the zoo.

1:14:26 Adam You get a mustache, a pit helmet, you know. Yeah.

1:14:28 Drew And wear a little suit.

1:14:29 Adam By the way, Dave's quite, Dave is bogus because Dave's like, so I go in there and the tiger just jumps on me.

1:14:38 Drew Let's hear more. Let's see.

1:14:40 Adam He's doing the very basic math.

1:14:41 Drew Yeah.

1:14:43 Adam So you just, you went in there and the tiger just jumped on you. Yeah.

1:14:47 Just started ripping off my...

1:14:49 I can't do this. This is too bogus.

1:14:51 Adam Yeah. Thank you. You got nothing, Dave.

1:14:53 Drew Nice try.

1:14:54 Adam You got nothing. All right.

1:14:55 Drew It was a good idea though. Well, very colorful idea.

1:14:58 Adam It was good, but here's the whole thing. Let me just explain.

1:15:01 Drew It's in the details.

1:15:03 Adam Well, also, we don't know anything about tigers or zoo keeping, but we do know enough about life to know that they don't just send... First off, they don't have 19-year-olds just go... Especially...

1:15:15 Drew In the tiger's cage.

1:15:15 Adam Especially, classy, retarded stoner 19-year-olds. Guys who sound like idiots, they don't just send them into the tiger cage. You probably, if you're lucky enough to get a job at the zoo, first off, you must have to have some... You must be in some sort of zoology program or something at the college. And secondly, your job is just to basically handle snow cones for about the first five years. You don't start working with the dangerous animal.

1:15:41 Drew Maybe you shovel their crap outside the cage or something, but don't walk into the cage.

1:15:45 Adam I'll tell you about the closest you're gonna get to the tires. My take is, you could be the guy who's in the back cutting up the meat or something like that, preparing it to hand to the professional who brings it a mile away to where the tiger thing is. You don't just walk in. And then secondly, I'm guessing they put the tiger somewhere before you just stroll in with the slabs of meat.

1:16:05 Drew I would imagine.

1:16:06 Adam All right, but anyway, just jumped on him.

1:16:07 Drew Yeah, just tore his clothes off.

1:16:09 Yeah, yeah.

1:16:12 Adam I called, you know, I called Tom Labonge, who's the like the district whoever out here, like the district selectman or something out here.

1:16:21 Drew For what?

1:16:21 Adam To yell at him about traffic.

1:16:23 Drew Wow.

1:16:24 Adam Yeah.

1:16:24 Drew In Culver City?

1:16:26 Adam He handles, he handles like, you know, like Burbank and Glendale or something like that.

1:16:32 Drew Well, you were going to yell about the.

1:16:33 Adam I had multiple issues to discuss with him.

1:16:36 Drew Wow.

1:16:37 Adam You know, I realize I've, I've spoken to a few politicians so far. They sound, first off, they all sound like dumb people that are trying to be smart. They're a little like Don King, but not as flamboyant or not as interesting. And then the other thing they do is they use your name 30, 40 times.

1:16:55 Drew Well, Adam.

1:16:55 Adam Yeah, yeah. That's, and they're always looking into things, but they never have any answers. Right. And I realized the thing that was funny kept calling me Alex and we flip flopped between Alex and Adam. So the whole thing about that that BS politician thing where you use the person's name a thousand times. Motivational speakers, car salesmen, politicians, they'll do that thing. Well, what's your name? My name's John. John, good to see you, John. John, you look for a new or used car right now. John, right now. OK, right now, John. OK, John.

1:17:26 Drew Well, John, well, John, you know, well, John, you know.

1:17:28 Adam Well, John, after after much consideration, soul searching and some serious ass kissing, I'm going to use your name for 55th time in the six minutes we've been conversing. But was one of those politicians. You do sort of notice. So it's got to explain to politicians that using someone's name makes them feel good for the first three times, 15 to 20 times use it and then it becomes distracting and disconcerting. That's it. I've just really realized that politicians are for the most part, folks that probably couldn't cut it in the private sector. And this is just Tom seemed not now Tom didn't seem like Maxine Waters or so.

1:18:12 Drew He wasn't out of it.

1:18:12 Adam He didn't seem like he was in some fifth state of dementia or something. He didn't actually know where he was like Maxine Waters, but he just seemed like a guy that if you had a factory, you'd have him out on the floor. Wouldn't be up in the office. He'd be wearing a tie, but he'd have short sleeves.

1:18:29 Yeah. That guy.

1:18:31 Adam Yeah. He used my name 36 times. And I'm thinking about running for something.

1:18:36 Drew Why not?

1:18:36 Adam I really am.

1:18:37 Drew You could run. You've always threatened.

1:18:38 Adam I'm thinking about calling these guys and threatening them and telling them, look, you're going to run.

1:18:43 Drew I'll throw you out.

1:18:44 Adam I'll throw you out. No one knows who you are. No one cares who you are.

1:18:47 Drew But they will.

1:18:48 Adam Here's the deal. There's a handful of people in this, there's a handful of people in this city that even know who your name is, and they don't like you. That's why they know your name. Right. Right. Okay. There's those people. And then there's everyone else who's never heard of you. I could get you tossed off and I'd just take your place. And then the party would start. He told me he was on the traffic commission. And that's where the left turn arrows began.

1:19:13 Drew Is he a councilman? What is this?

1:19:14 Adam I don't even know what he is. Just trying to get a telephone pole moved so I had to figure out how to call him.

1:19:20 Drew That whole thing. Yeah.

1:19:21 Adam And these guys are always in meetings too. Always in a meeting. What do they pull down here? I'd like to get them out of there. I don't know. I'm going to look into this, Drew. I may run for something.

1:19:33 Drew I think it'd be, you've always threatened. You've always said things would run better when you were in power.

1:19:37 Adam Well, just the traffic.

1:19:39 Drew Well, you can start with that. You can start with that.

1:19:41 Adam Yeah, all right.

1:19:41 Drew Yeah, but 14 year olds can't vote. That's the problem.

1:19:45 Adam Oh, but don't worry.

1:19:45 Caller I can get away for four years.

1:19:46 Adam Don't, all right. No, no, but I have.

1:19:49 Drew Whatever it takes.

1:19:50 Adam Yeah, I've waited four years. I don't have to wait four years from now.

1:19:53 Drew He's been complaining about traffic for four years.

1:19:54 Adam Right.

1:19:55 Drew Hey, Moby song.

1:19:56 Adam I get the city back on its feet. All right, what are we doing, Drew?

1:19:59 Drew Moby song.

1:19:59 Adam We are. Hotel, name of the new CD. Here's a little something called Beautiful. Yeah, Moby. Take that as you drive your town car back to your luxurious hotel. Keeping it real, though.

1:23:20 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:23:21 Adam Tell you something about Moby. He told me, he only stays in the finest hotels, but he sleeps on the floor.

1:23:28 Drew That is keeping it real.

1:23:29 Keeping it real.

1:23:31 Drew How could anybody not like Moby?

1:23:32 Adam Nobody could not like Moby.

1:23:34 Drew That's right.

1:23:35 Adam But does Moby like Moby?

1:23:37 Caller Don't do drugs.

1:23:39 Adam Is that Moby? Oh, that's M&M. M&M doesn't like Moby.

1:23:45 Caller Oh, that's right.

1:23:46 Drew It's weird.

1:23:47 Adam Yeah.

1:23:47 Drew It says something about M&M.

1:23:48 Adam It does. Genius.

1:23:50 Drew But he likes Special Ed.

1:23:52 Adam He loves Special Ed. See, now I'm torn because I love Moby and I love Special Ed from Crank Anchors, but M&M, see, this is tough. M&M loves Special Ed. He loves Crank Anchors in general, and I love Crank Anchors, but I love Moby, and M&M doesn't like Moby. You know, what do I do?

1:24:12 Drew Let's see if Moby likes Crank Anchors.

1:24:15 Moby That'll sound good.

1:24:17 Adam All right. Hotel, name of the new CD for Moby. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:24:26 Caller We'll be right back. Please hold.

1:24:42 Adam Yeah. Phone number, everybody. Oh, forget about that. Moby's gone. We got a phone call from Lassus.

1:24:49 Drew I still want people to call for my show, for freshly single people are starting to date again, or a married couple talk about their relationships and sex. Huh?

1:24:57 Adam Yeah, yeah. Thrice coming in here later in the week. I remember Thrice in here before.

1:25:03 Drew I remember their names.

1:25:03 Adam I remember them too. I think I like them.

1:25:06 Drew Yes, I think we did too.

1:25:07 Adam All right, someone's been on hold for 108 minutes. Let's just be nice. Oh, quiet down. Jason?

1:25:14 Yeah, what's up?

1:25:15 Adam 18?

1:25:16 Yeah.

1:25:17 Adam You got a new girlfriend that's 16?

1:25:18 I'm actually calling for a friend, but a phone screener got a little carried away, so yeah.

1:25:24 Oh.

1:25:25 Adam All right, what's up?

1:25:27 He is 18, and he recently has a girlfriend who's 16, and he was talking to me about like, yeah, we've been doing this, we've been doing that. And I was just wondering what he can legally do and not do.

1:25:39 Drew He is how old?

1:25:40 Adam 18.

1:25:41 Drew I think as long as he's within three years of the age of the girl, he's okay. But again, I have not looked into that law this year.

1:25:48 Adam But you can get on the internet and find whatever. They change.

1:25:53 Drew They change every year.

1:25:54 Adam We don't know what the law is. No, not because they change every year, because they change from state to state.

1:25:58 Drew Well, he's in California.

1:26:00 Adam Right. But we don't even know our own state.

1:26:03 Drew I think it's within three, after 18, within three years of the younger person.

1:26:06 Adam Okay. Oh, really? Well, so hold on a second. Even if you're 18 years old and the person is 15?

1:26:13 Drew Let's look here. I've got it.

1:26:14 Adam We have the age of consent. It's all over the place.

1:26:18 Drew Again, it's different.

1:26:19 Adam It's just, you know, to me, you know, to me, it's like, it's like the flash button on your phone, because we just agree where the best place for the goddamn button is and just put it there. So I don't have to sort of stare at the thing, like a cross-eyed retard trying to find it. I have like three different phones in my house and they're all different. I can't find anything. Same with the age of consent, especially when you travel like I do. It's very important to nail down that age of consent. I could get into a lot of trouble. What do you got, Drew?

1:26:47 Drew It says 18 here in this thing I've got.

1:26:50 Adam Says both parties need to be 18.

1:26:52 Drew Yep.

1:26:52 Adam Or both parties need to be under 18. Is that true?

1:26:55 Drew No, under 18, even if they're both under 18, you still can get nailed as the boy.

1:26:59 Adam Who do you prosecute?

1:26:59 Drew The boy.

1:27:00 Adam Why?

1:27:01 Drew Because he's having sex with someone under 18.

1:27:03 Adam But she's having sex with someone who's under 18, too.

1:27:05 Drew My understanding is that you can still get in trouble as a male.

1:27:08 Adam Really? How so? It doesn't really mean anything, but I just wanted to say how so. How so?

1:27:16 Drew I think that, Chris, are you looking that up now? Age of Consent, California?

1:27:20 Caller Yeah.

1:27:20 Drew What's it say?

1:27:21 Caller Let's see.

1:27:23 Drew Okay, we'll wait a little while.

1:27:24 Adam Yeah, we'll wait. Well, by this time tomorrow, we're going to have an answer to that. Yeah, let's find that out because it moves around. And as I recall, Hawaii is like 14 or something crazy.

1:27:35 Caller Okay, I got it.

1:27:36 Adam But a 14-year-old Hawaiian is like 300 pounds. It's killed a man.

1:27:39 Caller Any person who engages in an act of unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor who is not more than three years older or three years younger than the perpetrator is guilty of a misdemeanor.

1:27:50 Drew Misdemeanor.

1:27:51 Caller That's what it says.

1:27:52 Adam Not more than. So what does that mean? Does that mean three years?

1:27:59 Drew 12 or 15?

1:28:00 Adam 18 can be the 15 year old in California?

1:28:03 Drew It doesn't seem like it should be that way, but that's what it sounds like.

1:28:06 Adam All right. Here's the the answer is, is you'll get into trouble if you dump her and she's vindictive and her dad's pissed.

1:28:13 Drew Yes.

1:28:14 Adam That's how these things work.

1:28:15 Drew That's how they work. That's right.

1:28:16 Adam I mean, here's the whole deal with this. It's not like law enforcement polices this. It's somebody picks up the phone and makes an issue of it, makes an issue of it. And then you got a prom. It's basically the same way. It's lawsuits. Same thing. They work with lawsuits and cops work with parties. Neighbors got to pick up a phone first. All right. Let's talk to...

1:28:36 Drew Strangely, it's the way they can deal with potential murder cases too.

1:28:39 Adam Yeah.

1:28:40 Drew Somebody's got to actually pull the trigger first.

1:28:43 Adam Yeah. They got to pick the phone up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

1:28:45 Drew Yeah.

1:28:46 Adam There's nothing. There's nothing really.

1:28:47 Drew Nothing they can do until...

1:28:48 Adam Nothing they can do until there's a body. Yeah. Yeah. We can't. Yeah. No. Cause otherwise it'd be like judging.

1:28:55 Drew I cannot judge.

1:28:55 Adam Cannot judge. Yeah. It'd be like profiling.

1:28:58 Drew We to judge.

1:28:59 Adam That's how profiling is evil too. It's the same thing.

1:29:02 Drew Yes.

1:29:02 Adam You got to wait for the person to blow the plane up before you actually do anything.

1:29:05 Drew Then you still wouldn't make any judgments about the person. No.

1:29:08 Adam No. Profiling. No. Because here's the thing. Here's the thing about profiling.

1:29:11 Drew Anybody could blow a plane up.

1:29:13 Adam Well, the thing about profiling is you would have to believe that there were differences in human beings.

1:29:19 Drew Right. And they're all the same.

1:29:21 Adam Right. Right. Right. They're just.

1:29:23 Drew Terry Shavo, same as you.

1:29:24 Adam It's just the same as breeds of dogs. They come in different shades, different colors.

1:29:29 Drew But they're the same.

1:29:30 Adam All the same. Pitbull, Labrador, the same. Chihuahua, Pekingese.

1:29:37 Drew Great Pyrenees.

1:29:38 Adam Great Pyrenees. Same temperament, same. Exactly the same. Same in the brains department, same in the barking department. No difference between a Dalmatian and a German Shepherd in terms of the brains or one of Drew's border collies.

1:29:53 Drew Oh, so different. You can't even imagine how smart those dogs are.

1:29:57 Adam And a Chihuahua. Just no, no, no, Drew. No, that's not my point.

1:30:00 Drew That's judging. That's judging.

1:30:01 Adam My point is there's no different. I'm just saying.

1:30:03 Drew I'm just saying.

1:30:04 Adam Yeah. No, no. And by the way, no difference between a mule and a dolphin.

1:30:08 Drew How dare you?

1:30:09 Adam That's right. Everything's the same. It's exactly the same. There's no difference in anything ever. Human beings, all exactly the same.

1:30:16 Drew Exactly.

1:30:17 Adam Some of them get lucky and invent stuff.

1:30:20 Drew That's luck.

1:30:20 Adam And like go to the moon.

1:30:22 Drew That's luck.

1:30:22 Adam Others, you know, set their trailer on fire and kill their families, but that's just luck. There's no difference. Zero. Everything's the same. The same. Hitler, Gandhi, same. No difference. I mean, you know, unless you want to judge, we're gonna start getting into judging. Then we got a problem.

1:30:39 Drew Then you're, how dare you? Who are you?

1:30:41 Adam Yeah, you can't. No, you can't. You can't judge. You can't judge. John Wilkes Booth and Lincoln, same, same guy, same guy, same guy.

1:30:49 Drew Just depends on your perspective.

1:30:50 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't judge.

1:30:52 Eric?

1:30:53 Yeah.

1:30:54 Adam You're 20.

1:30:55 Caller Yeah, I'm 20.

1:30:56 Adam What's up?

1:30:58 Caller I got satimized about a week ago by a girl I haven't seen in a while and it still hurts. And I was wondering if there was any long-term ramifications. Get it?

1:31:08 Adam Ramifications.

1:31:09 Drew That's very nice, very nice. The only reason I believe this call is A, he had a little detail about it, and not having seen this girl in a long time. And he didn't say, what am I supposed to do? He asked long-term, he has a specific question. Specific details, specific question, I'll buy it.

1:31:23 Adam Yeah, still not sure.

1:31:24 Drew I'm not sure if it's both, but I'm ready to answer it, you know what I'm saying?

1:31:27 Adam What are the long-term ramifications?

1:31:29 Drew You can, probably nothing, but you can certainly get hemorrhoids, you can get tears and what's called stenosis. When things tear, then they scar and then they narrow.

1:31:39 Adam Yeah, but what if there's no damage done in the...

1:31:43 Drew But he's having pain a week later, so something happened. Something happened and I'm just saying he might have done something, the worst thing would be hemorrhoids or stenosis, I would think. You can get fistulas and somebody did something to you.

1:31:56 Adam You're on the business end of the strampons.

1:31:58 Drew Supposedly. You can get fistulas and abscesses and if you get really, you know, Adam's had some experience with this.

1:32:05 Adam I had a carbuncle down there once.

1:32:08 Drew Yeah, no problem.

1:32:10 Adam By the way, I got that the way God wants you to get one, which is just riding a mountain bike, but not getting cornholed by some chick with a pocket fisherman strapped her thighs. How dare you? I got my carbuncle the old fashioned way.

1:32:29 Drew You're judging. You're judging.

1:32:31 Adam Poor hygiene.

1:32:32 Drew You're judging.

1:32:32 Adam I am judging. You're profiling.

1:32:34 Drew I should name that because he was sodomized, he's not as good as you riding a mountain bike.

1:32:39 Adam You're right. You're right. I judge.

1:32:40 Drew How dare you?

1:32:41 Adam All right, Eric, you'll be fine, buddy.

1:32:42 Drew Well, hot bath, sitz bath.

1:32:44 Adam Sitz bath. Just four inches.

1:32:46 Drew Hot water.

1:32:47 Adam And you just sit there. No salt, Epsom salt?

1:32:49 Drew No, necessarily.

1:32:49 Adam All right, we'll take a quick break. Be right back after this. We up?

1:33:18 Drew Here we go.

1:33:19 Adam Oh, I thought I heard someone yell go. Well, that's the show. I want to thank dear, dear, dear, dear friend Moby for coming in here tonight. Hotel, name of the CD. Go to www.moby.com. 500 bucks you paid for that.

1:33:32 Caller That's good.

1:33:34 Adam If you want any information on tour dates or anything like that, support our friends. All right. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. Make Mother Teresa say, no way! Are you high? Please, what has that bitch done for anybody?

1:33:53 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, April 3, 2005