Episode 1000702570929

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

1:01 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:07 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:13 Voiceover This is Loveline.

1:17 Adam With Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. There, buddy. It is the best of Loveline. And I'm Adam. That is my partner and on again, off again lover, Dr. Drew.

1:28 Drew Off again?

1:29 Adam Well, I got, sometimes I got a shower.

1:32 Drew Okay. Yeah. Yeah. A break. A break.

1:35 Adam Replenish the electrolytes. Yeah. That's back on.

1:37 Drew Big show tonight. Big show.

1:38 Adam Yeah. Huge. Leanne Tweedin is here from Fox Sports Net and Dave Attell, one of the, Dave Attell, one of the funniest, no, the funniest stand up.

1:49 Drew Oh, you said that. I remember that.

1:50 Adam I've seen his act. He is hysterical.

1:53 Drew Yeah. That is, that is something that Adam never says about comedians.

1:58 Adam I don't kiss that much comedy ass, but Dave Attell, everyone, if you have a chance to go see this guy live, he is absolutely amazing. And then of course, my dog, Randy Jackson from American Idol. Leanne Tweedin is someone who beat me in a celebrity go-kart race not too long ago. You know, the thing that's funny is, is I beat 17 guys, she beat me in the championship and she won, I came in second. All the other 17 guys were making fun of me. Hey, she beat you. I'm like, hey, a-holes, she beat you first. At least I got beat last.

2:37 Drew Right.

2:38 Adam I tell you, it's brutal out there, Drew. All right. We'll enjoy a little of the vivacious Leanne Tweedin. Hey, everyone. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LLV-E-191. Leanne Tweedin is here tonight on the cover of FHM.

2:58 Looking very good.

3:00 Adam Putting a bra back together. And a lot of guys, a lot of what I like to call sploozers out front.

3:08 Drew Oh, they're still out there?

3:09 Adam Well, they're out there getting her to sign the magazine. If you want fans, get yourself on the cover of Gentleman's Magazine because you will be signing those things. I'm not sure how the math works. I do know you could win the Nobel Peace Prize. You would not get anyone asking to sign anything.

3:31 They're not so recognizable, I think.

3:33 Adam Well, even if you're a female celebrity or male celebrity, we've had plenty of big, you know, rock star types in here. There are no ones from signing. But if you're a woman who has made it to the cover of one of the magazines.

3:47 Drew Men's magazines.

3:48 Adam Men's magazines. There's a line of guys who need to sign it. And I'm not sure, there's a market for it or something. I'm not sure how it works.

3:59 Caller I don't know. What do you think about that?

4:01 Drew Well, these guys are, most of them own like magazine shops and things. And they sell these things.

4:06 Caller They do. There are a lot of like autograph hounds. But what about the people that just want you to sign something? Don't you think that's just a, is it to be, I met Leanne, it was a personal moment, she signed my magazine. You know what I mean? Kind of like, oh, sorry.

4:19 Drew I don't know, but men aren't that interested in all that. You know what I mean? That doesn't fit.

4:24 Adam What about your buddy Mark who comes in and bugs every hot chick that comes into the studio?

4:29 Drew Yeah.

4:29 Adam Yeah. What do you mean?

4:30 Caller Is that how he greeted me in the parking lot? No, I'm kidding.

4:32 Adam Yeah, you would have known. He was in the bushes, masturbating. You didn't see him, believe me. Blending right in.

4:39 Drew Yeah, but it's sort of, you know, guys use that to sort of get distinction.

4:45 Adam Now, these guys do this for a business. There's a business about this. It's the same guys every time. Yeah. I understand beautiful women always sells more product than fat guys, but it's weird. There's something.

5:02 Drew I think some guys get a sort of a thing out of being, having met and having proof of the meeting with some of these women.

5:10 Caller I agree. Or a photo or a thing.

5:13 Adam You know, they sell it.

5:14 Drew No, I know those guys. But you're asking Mark and the other guys.

5:18 Adam Those are your nutball friends. But yeah, I'm talking about the guys who wait out front of this studio.

5:21 Drew Yeah, they sell. They own a lot of magazine shops.

5:24 Adam Splooser.

5:25 Caller What is Splooser again, Drew?

5:26 Drew Spaz meets Loser.

5:28 Adam That's right. Part Spaz. It's hard to tell. More Spaz more than Loser?

5:32 Drew More Spaz.

5:34 Adam I think Splooser is pretty good. All right, anyway, it's always great when I have to leave and they have to remind me that I call them Sploosers. Fantastic. All right. Big fans though. Well, Drew, oh, you know what, Drew? Yeah. Let's take a call and then I got a question for you. I got a question for you. Samantha?

5:52 Yes.

5:53 Adam You're 23?

5:54 Caller Yes.

5:55 Adam What's up?

5:56 Caller Well, I had a physical exam and they ran a lot of tests and one of them was a herpes test and I was expecting to have herpes type one because I get cold sores a lot. But she told me I was negative for herpes type one and I had herpes type two. And for some reason, my outbreaks are only in my mouth currently, but I want to know if I'm like prone at any moment to suddenly break out in genital.

6:21 Drew No, here's the deal. First of all, I think the blood test of herpes are relatively worthless. They're not very good. Secondly, the type of herpes you get is irrelevant. You can get two on your mouth, you can get one on your genitalia. That distinction between one being mouth and two being genitalia is simply not true.

6:39 Adam Who made that up?

6:40 Drew At one time, that's sort of predominately what was going around, but then people started to...

6:44 Adam What's the difference between one and two?

6:45 Drew Two is a little more intense. It's a little more severe kind of infection.

6:48 Caller But don't they say herpes do not go away? You never get rid of them? You can suppress them, but they're always in your system.

6:53 Drew But all types, whether it's one or two. Two is a little more intense, particularly initial outbreak. I remember there was a national board question when I was a resident that had it, that there was about a 20% incidence of meningitis in the initial outbreak of genital herpes type two. But you can get that in your mouth just as rarely as on your genitalia, and people put their mouths in interesting places, and that's how you get it.

7:14 Caller So did she get herpes from having sex?

7:17 Adam Samantha, that's the only she'll tell us that.

7:18 Caller No, I'm not sure how I got it. I've had cold sorts for a long time. I've only had one partner. We're now married. He's only had me. He doesn't have it.

7:29 Adam What's going on over there?

7:31 Caller I don't know.

7:32 Drew He doesn't have it at all?

7:33 Caller He has herpes type one, so I guess.

7:36 Drew The test, don't forget about those tests.

7:39 Caller He does have herpes and you have herpes too, because you could have gotten it from him.

7:42 Adam Yeah.

7:43 Caller Or would it be better if like next time I have a cold sore to have them check the capsule sore out?

7:50 Drew If you want to culture it, yeah, you can't, but who cares? Samantha, what's the big deal? You're married, who cares?

7:55 Adam Covered with herpes, God willing, your kids will have herpes.

7:58 Caller It'll be fantastic to be the herpes fan. Well, if they both have their first time partners for each other, then how does herpes come out?

8:03 Drew Herpes one is just the environment. Pretty much everybody gets that on their mouth anyway. It's very, very common. And you can get that transmit if you have an outbreak and have oral sex and be transmitted to your genitalia pretty easily.

8:13 Adam Samantha, you're fine, baby doll. Call them from CME Valley.

8:17 Drew The craziness about herpes, people freak out about the labels. And here's a situation where it makes no difference from a health standpoint.

8:25 Adam What's your old man do? Is he a cop, fireman? What's he do?

8:28 Caller No, he works for Countrywide.

8:30 Drew Countrywide?

8:31 Caller Yeah, they do my mortgage.

8:32 Adam They make a great lemonade.

8:33 Caller Oh, they see. Dr. Drew and mine's mortgage.

8:36 Adam Samantha?

8:37 Drew And Adam's lemonade.

8:38 Adam Let me tell you how rich I am. I don't know who does my mortgages.

8:41 Drew You're literally a millionaire.

8:42 Caller Literally. How does it feel? Literally.

8:46 Adam Where's my top hat, Chris? Where's it? Is my top hat and cane here?

8:51 Caller No.

8:52 Adam Okay.

8:53 Drew Why do you look for him for that?

8:54 Caller I don't even think you have one, Adam.

8:56 Adam How dare you? I have one and I scrunch it every once in a while. I'll pop it up before I do a big number. Drew, let's talk NuvaRing for just a moment.

9:04 Drew How organic. You should bring that up, Adam.

9:07 Adam I've been doing some reading on it. I've heard talk about it. I know there's a lot of controversy. Maybe you could sort of clear the NuvaRing fog.

9:14 Drew We had a NuvaRing is this contraceptive ring that gets inserted into the vagina and it stays there for about three weeks and you take it out, then you bleed and you put it back in for three weeks. The question that somebody had fell off the line, I wanted to ask whether or not if they had sex during that first week, if they were adequately covered for contraception.

9:32 Adam The first week of the NuvaRing.

9:34 Drew After you put it in, you are actually not covered for that first week, the very first time you put it in.

9:39 Caller What about if she was on the pill before then and then switched to that type of contraceptive?

9:43 Drew It's an interesting question. It takes about seven days for the hormone to kind of reach a peak level.

9:48 Caller Okay, so basically like almost she wasn't taking anything for seven days.

9:51 Drew Almost, almost.

9:52 Caller So just don't risk it. Wear a condom.

9:54 Drew Yeah, wear a condom.

9:55 Caller Abstain.

9:56 Drew No, don't abstain. Wear a condom. How dare you?

9:58 Caller Hey, I like you, Dr. Drew.

10:02 Adam Passionate man. Passionate man. And go ahead.

10:06 Drew Say it again.

10:07 Adam Passion.

10:07 Drew Thank you.

10:09 Caller I want to look at him like that. You got that sparkle in your eye.

10:11 Drew No, it's weird. It gets weird. It gets weird.

10:14 Adam I can recognize passion. I just can't contain it.

10:17 Drew That's the problem.

10:19 Adam His passion is like a bear that gets loose in a campsite. Only one way to stop it, and that's the ranger's gun. It's a high-powered rifle.

10:27 Drew Those hypodermics. Darts.

10:29 Caller Come on, the six hunters just got killed in the woods today, and you're talking about that. Really? Yeah, in Wisconsin.

10:35 Drew A bear?

10:36 Caller No, a deer hunter guy shot the rest of these hunters because he was in their tree stand. That was crazy.

10:42 Adam Nobody misses more news stories than Dr. Drew, by the way.

10:44 Drew No, I usually catch...

10:45 Caller And he's online all the time. I'm surprised he doesn't even see the...

10:48 Adam Oh, no, no, no.

10:49 Drew I read the Yahoo headlines. Please.

10:51 Adam Well, Dr. Drew, do I have to just go back three or four days to the couple of big ones that you missed?

10:55 Drew I missed. But let me finish the new Vareng thing. Let me just say one thing. There's a great question with that, which is, should that person... The caller that dropped off the line had had sex in that first week. And so the question is, should she use emergency contraceptive? Which is an interesting question. And I would say yes. The first week, the first application of the new Vareng, if you have an unintended event, I would use...

11:15 Adam You should eat the new Vareng?

11:17 Drew No, I would eat the plan B.

11:19 Adam Okay. You know what I could watch? I could watch a show, an hour long show, maybe put on Fox Sports West. It's animals being drugged right before they hit the ground. You know when the polar bear gets hit with the dart, it's sort of, first it's surly. First few minutes, it's just as good as it ever was. And then that part where it gets pissed off, and then it gets a little... It gets a little dopey, and then a certain point just starts to falls over. I could just watch endless cuts of that. You go through the bear family, you go through the moose family, the bigger the animal, the better.

11:51 Caller The tigers and the lions.

11:53 Adam I just need that one part. Oh, you know what's a nice one? Rhino. It's snorting, it's doing it's thing, and it's that part where you see inside, and it just tips over.

12:02 Caller You need like a machine gun just to get the dart to penetrate its skin.

12:06 Adam Yeah, they're awesome. Yeah, I would watch, and I wouldn't need any narration or anything, just put some music behind it.

12:13 Caller Some background music.

12:14 Adam It's called animals being drugged. And it's also nice when they wake up too. That's the other one too.

12:19 Drew Well, they have like all kinds of weird reactions.

12:21 Adam People scatter. Yeah.

12:22 Caller And their tongue is always hanging out and they're trying to keep their tongue from like swallowing their own tongue. And as they're coming to, their eyes are...

12:27 Drew They're kicking and bucking and they're just shaking and seizing.

12:30 Adam Yeah. Awesome. Come on. Come on. If anyone's listening, let's get that going.

12:35 Drew David Allen Grew.

12:36 Adam Oh, what? Who?

12:37 Drew David Allen Grew.

12:38 Adam He could host or we drug him.

12:40 Drew Yeah. Shoot.

12:41 Caller I love David Allen Grew.

12:42 Adam No, he's a good guy, but it'd be funny to see him get darted and see him come back. All right. Where are we going here, Drew?

12:47 Drew Adam. I'm ready to.

12:49 Adam No, no. What about Germany or Florida?

12:50 Drew All right. You've decided that's where we're going. That's where we're going.

12:53 Adam Anthony? Well, don't give me surrush. We haven't played Germany or Florida yet. You know, we have to play it twice a night. It's already already in the second hour. Anthony? Yeah. Leanne's very competitive.

13:04 Drew You're right. She needs to come back.

13:05 Adam Anthony? Yeah. All right. You have the story for us. We hear the bizarre story, Leanne, and then we decide, is it Germany or Florida? Go ahead, Anthony.

13:14 Caller Things are sick and twisted.

13:15 Adam This is our theme song.

13:16 Caller And the Nazis. No expense was spared.

13:19 Caller Both of them have got these.

13:20 Caller Guaranteed not the Boria, Germany or Florida.

13:23 Adam Go right ahead.

13:24 Drew Do you hear how he cracks his own crap up by the end of that song?

13:26 Adam That could have been me.

13:27 Drew No, no. He's sort of smiling by the end of the song in both versions.

13:30 Adam When he got it. True.

13:32 Drew He's got it. That kid's got it.

13:33 Adam Go ahead, Anthony.

13:35 Caller Okay. It appeared that a mystery attacker may have had some sort of foot fetish when he stopped a woman on the street to sniff her shoe and lick her foot. The woman claims she was walking around in the town square when a man grabbed her leg, fell to the ground, and began sniffing her shoe. The publicity surrounding this latest attack reportedly encouraged another victim to come forward. All right.

13:54 Drew Stop.

13:54 Adam Say no more.

13:55 Drew Say no more.

13:56 Adam I got it.

13:56 Caller Where is he reading these from?

13:58 Adam Don't say anything. You know what I said? We need to write them down.

14:01 Drew Okay.

14:01 Adam That's it. That's what we need to do.

14:03 Drew All right.

14:04 Adam Drew, you want me to write your answer for you?

14:05 Drew Yes. Go ahead. All right. Because we're going to have the same answer as this one. What am I writing? Germany or Florida.

14:11 Adam Is it Germany or Florida?

14:12 Drew Weird things happen. Weird stories emerge only from Germany and Florida, or predominantly Germany and Florida.

14:16 Adam That's right, Drew. Don't let me look.

14:19 All right.

14:20 Adam All right. We got our answers. All right. Now, should we have him give the answer and then we'll turn ourselves over? Why don't we do that?

14:27 Drew All right.

14:28 Adam More exciting that way. I know good radio. And this isn't it.

14:32 Caller Build it up, Adam.

14:33 Adam Anthony, later on, I may back sell a song or something.

14:37 Drew Passion issues.

14:38 Adam Anthony, give us the answer. Germany or Florida?

14:40 Caller It's Germany.

14:42 Adam Germany. Yeah. I got Germany, Germany, Germany.

14:47 Drew All three of us.

14:48 Adam Well, there you go. Anthony.

14:49 Caller There's some weird sexual people in Germany. Yeah.

14:51 Adam Now, see, there you go. There's a difference.

14:53 Drew There's something about that idea of him actually getting down in the public square, getting on the ground and looking afoot.

15:04 Caller But don't you think that's part of his fetish?

15:06 Drew Yes.

15:06 Caller Doing it in, it's not only that he has a fetish, but he wants to do it in a public place with people watching.

15:11 Drew That was a distinct Germanic feel to it. It was the Nazi, the Nazi femme, femma Nazi with the heel, you know what I mean?

15:20 Adam Drew, can we get past the little hiccup known as the Holocaust already? Please, it's been a few years now. Let's just move on.

15:27 Caller There's some people out there that don't believe it even happened.

15:29 Adam Anybody can mess up once or twice. So let's keep going.

15:32 Drew All right?

15:34 Adam Or should we bomb them again? I'd be for bombing them one more time. Let's hop back to the phones and, wow, everyone took Germany there. Very nice. Talk to Adam, who's 22. Adam?

15:46 Caller Yeah.

15:47 Adam What's up?

15:49 Caller I want to know how does it feel to be in the presence of a real waffle crapper right now?

15:53 Adam Yeah, that is Leanne Tweed.

15:54 Caller How do we know that was going to come up, Dr. Drew?

15:56 Drew I warned Leanne that that was a term she would hear tonight at the Brattling.

16:02 Adam We had an interesting discussion last night. I think we're talking about hot chicks.

16:09 Drew Here's what happened. Here's what happened. Adam, we were talking about a woman called and said that her boyfriend lost direction in a certain position. Adam goes, it's doggy, it's doggy. Why doggy? He gets a whiff of ass.

16:20 Adam Right?

16:21 Drew That's what you said. I said, look, that doesn't make sense to me because if she were really hot, he'd get right through that. Then you went on to say, well, look, if somebody moves Claudia Schiffer, you'd have her crap on your waffle in breakfast time.

16:37 Adam That's true. What do you do for a living?

16:40 Drew Something of that. I don't remember how you transitioned from-

16:42 Adam You know what, Drew? You were going good with that story too and then you got in your head. You heard your own voice and you lost your stuff.

16:49 Drew Actually, I was looking at you, kind of close your eyes and pull back.

16:51 Adam You know why? Because I said, Drew, finish.

16:53 I'm not going to finish this.

16:55 Drew Here's the deal. The fact is though-

16:56 Adam I know you wait for me to finish, but I'm not doing it every time.

17:00 Drew So, then the next call was a woman who was sort of whiny and Adam said, you're a hot girl. I know you're a hot chick. And I said, well, you know, certainly somebody should have called you a waffle crapper one time in your life. Right. That was where the term stuck.

17:12 Adam Right. All right. Now, I could go back-

17:14 Caller I don't like that word.

17:15 Adam I could go back and fix that story, but I don't have the energy. But it just means hot chick. We've decided. It was funny last night.

17:24 Right. Right.

17:25 Caller Well, thank you.

17:26 Drew It happened.

17:26 Caller I guess.

17:28 Adam It was organic. Adam?

17:30 Yes.

17:31 Adam Yeah. I'm torn between going back and fixing it.

17:35 Drew I want to hear. I can't fix it because I can't remember the piece that went from where you-

17:39 Adam It's just basically if a chick is hot, she could crap on your waffle in the morning, and you'd be begging for more, and there's nothing grotesque. It's hard to be grossed out by super hot chick. Right. Whereas when they're not, it's much easier to be grossed out.

17:55 America's Next Waffle Crapper.

17:59 Adam That was Will Arnett in last night. Anyway, believe me, you're in rarefied waffle crapping. We don't have many on this show. Yes, Drew?

18:09 Drew Yes, Adam. All right. Rarefied.

18:11 Caller Will was on a crapper.

18:15 Adam Is it nice looking, gent, but I don't know if guys can even qualify.

18:19 Caller No.

18:19 Drew Oh, no.

18:20 Oh, no, no, no.

18:23 Adam Hey, Adam, what about what about for other guys? What if you're gay? Would Mark Anthony be a waffle crapper? And by the way, that's all point. Thank you.

18:36 Drew That's the whole point. Let me just say something.

18:38 Adam Let me just tell everyone, Pat O'Brien specifically, just because you're skinny and you're Mexican, you can sing doesn't make you a heartthrob.

18:45 Caller Thank you.

18:46 Adam I there's some old Latin crooner heartthrob. Mark Anthony reminds me of like a Mexican Skeletor.

18:52 Caller Well, he kind of looks like a little rat or something.

18:54 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

18:55 Caller No. I mean, I agree. Personally, I do not find him attractive.

19:00 Adam And in that song, that hit of his blows such colossal ass. Well, first off. Yeah. Does he have a hit? I just I got to figure out something. He's never come on the show. I say what I want. But how does some people get to be like international superstars and international heartthrobs and oh, this guy like, look, Enrique Iglesias, I get it. He's nice looking, although I'm not sure about the singing part, but he's he's a great looking guy.

19:26 Caller Package. I mean, it's all together.

19:28 Adam It's all there. He's got a beautiful basket. He's got a beautiful package, whatever you want to call it. He's got a lovely, lovely, a low in his pants. No, I know. I agree. A real waffle crapping material. I agree with Leanne. I don't stare at the groin like Leanne, but I understand.

19:41 Caller No, I mean, Package is like, you know, he's not a great singer, but he's a good looking guy. He dresses right. He does the right videos. He's got the girlfriend.

19:47 Drew I mean, you know what I mean?

19:47 Caller It's the whole package.

19:48 Drew He's looking at the package, yes.

19:49 Adam Mark Anthony, I don't understand that part, but he gets hottie after hottie and celebrity after celebrity.

19:56 Drew What's a Skeletor?

19:57 Caller Well, you're right. His kind of facial.

19:59 Adam Do you remember the cartoon? He-Man used to fight Skeletor?

20:04 Caller He kind of has the skeleton that kind of has a protrude.

20:07 Adam I understand where you're going with that. I assume other people know it. Even Chris knows Skeletor. Chris.

20:13 Caller You do?

20:14 Adam He-Man?

20:14 Caller Yeah.

20:14 Drew Look it up. I want to see Skeletor.

20:15 Caller He-Man and the power of the universe or whatever.

20:18 Adam Do you realize that you two know the exact opposite things, whatever Chris knows, you don't know and vice versa? Although luckily, it's not that much.

20:25 Caller It's an interesting cultural thing, don't you think?

20:27 Adam It's interesting unless you're sitting in between in the chasm of tards.

20:31 Caller Yes. No. What?

20:32 Adam Huh? All right. Where are we?

20:35 Drew Talking to Melissa.

20:36 Adam What is the name of that song is it blows so much ass, by the way, Mark Anthony? God does that song blow. Okay, Chris, find out that.

20:45 Drew After Skeletor.

20:46 Adam Mark Anthony song. It's a slow song.

20:55 Caller Whatever, you know, I'm not a singer, but yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the one song.

20:57 Adam You're better than he is. I need to know. Yes, I need to know. God, does that song blow ass.

21:05 Caller God, does that song suck. And you probably hate it so much because you're probably singing it in your shower when you just least expect it. No, no, no.

21:10 Adam That song sucks. God, does that song suck. It blew so badly. Oh, my God, how much coke is being fed to the program directors? Well, him too, but how much coke is there going to these idiots that they got to play this garbage and poison everyone's mind? God, did that song blow ass. Drew, it's unfortunate you don't know the song. All right, I'm done. Drew, what is it? How does it work? What don't you know? What do you know? Skeletor?

21:37 Caller Do you know he's married to JLo now?

21:38 Adam No, good.

21:39 Drew Oh, he's that one.

21:40 Adam He's a hot Latin heartthrob. He's a heartthrob. Okay. Do you get to be like an international record superstar and have one crappy song?

21:51 Caller Yeah, but I think the rest of his hits internationally are all in Espanol.

21:56 Adam I'm glad you're not impressed by the man.

21:58 Caller No.

21:58 Adam Please. Horrible song. Melissa?

22:02 Drew Yes.

22:02 Adam 28.

22:03 Drew By the way, hang on a second, Melissa, why weren't people making more of what Jennifer Lopez did to Ben Affleck? They're dating, they're engaged, she breaks up and gets married to somebody else two weeks later?

22:12 Caller Well, but I think they all looked at her and said she's got the problem.

22:16 Drew She's brutal. I mean, that is brutality.

22:18 Caller Yeah.

22:18 Caller Well, I think it's brutal, but I think it's also self-worth issues with her, don't you think?

22:22 Drew Yeah. Well, she has to be with a bad guy.

22:24 Caller Right.

22:24 Drew Has to be with a bad guy. But think the brutality of that kind of behavior towards somebody who actually was trying to have a relationship with her.

22:31 Caller Wow.

22:32 Drew No one discusses that. What is that?

22:33 Caller Ben's a nice guy. I hope he's...

22:35 Adam Yeah, he's good people.

22:36 Caller Now he's going out with Jennifer Garner.

22:37 Adam Drown in sorrows in that pig Jennifer Garner. It's got to be rough.

22:40 Caller Tough.

22:41 Adam Yeah, it's got to be tough.

22:42 Caller Talk about a waffle-crapper. She's beautiful and she's from the country. I think she's from West Virginia.

22:46 Adam Yeah. Waffle-crapping material. Waffle-crapper. Yeah.

22:49 Caller Definitely.

22:50 Adam Melissa?

22:51 Yes.

22:52 Adam You're 28? So your boyfriend does speed?

22:58 Caller Yeah, he does speed. He didn't used to, but as our relationship progressed.

23:03 Drew He wasn't born doing speed?

23:04 Adam He didn't used to do speed, but like-

23:06 Drew Now he does speed lots.

23:07 Adam Ryan does a lot of speed now. All right.

23:09 Caller Yeah. He swears that he doesn't, but I noticed all these sores all over him.

23:18 Drew Yeah. People that do speed get something called this Picker Syndrome. They start believing that there's something under the skin, a bug or piece of glass, and they start picking and picking and picking. They erode their skin and cause ulcers all over the place. Face, arms, and that's what he's got. Yeah.

23:32 Basically.

23:33 Caller Okay. Well, I don't do speed. And when we have sex, we've been together for like 10 years. I've noticed now that I'm starting to get them. And I was wondering, is there a possibility from having sex with him without a condom that I could be getting the same things?

24:01 Drew You're getting ulcers where?

24:03 Caller Like on my face and on my arms. But not bad, but just enough to where I know they're not normal.

24:12 Caller And you're definitely not doing drugs?

24:13 Drew You're not doing cocaine?

24:15 Caller No, I have a heart murmur. I was born with mitral valve prolapse. No, I can't do that.

24:20 Drew Mitral valve prolapse is something that most women your age have.

24:24 Adam Yeah, you can do some blow.

24:25 Drew It's a very common thing.

24:26 Adam Just give me the green light to do that.

24:28 Drew Be that as it may. But it's weird that she takes a very common thing.

24:31 Adam Well, something's going on with Melissa. Melissa, let's forget about your skin for a second, talk about your brain. You've been with this guy for 10 years. You're not married?

24:42 Caller No, not yet.

24:43 Drew And he's a severe amphetamine addict. Do you want to do something about that?

24:47 Adam He was lying to you.

24:48 Caller Well, yeah. Well, I kept on confronting him. He was sore up and down. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. And then one of his friends came and told me, Oh, yes, he is.

24:59 Okay, what's going on with you?

25:01 Caller You know, if you're with a speed addict. I mean, it's not like they can...

25:04 Drew Except if your dad was an alcoholic addict, he's trying to come and expect that kind of thing.

25:07 Adam So, Melissa, what about your dad?

25:10 Caller What about my dad? Well, basically, he was an alcoholic.

25:17 Adam All right. Fantastic. Was he an alcoholic?

25:21 Caller No. Not as far as I know.

25:23 Drew He didn't do drugs?

25:24 Drugs?

25:26 Caller I don't know, until he was my mom. They got divorced when I was really young. All right. They never saw him very much. But he did leave me at the treasury once and took off and moved away.

25:38 Caller All right.

25:39 Drew Hold on. The treasury?

25:40 Adam He left you at the treasury?

25:41 Caller He just left you in a public place and took off?

25:43 Drew What's the treasury?

25:45 Caller It used to be kind of like a Kmart.

25:50 Drew Ah, okay.

25:51 Adam Treasury.

25:52 Caller Just kind of left you in Walmart and took off.

25:54 Adam People, by the way, never get tired of using a local landmark on the show who call from distant places. It never gets tiring. I don't know how that works, but it's like, oh no, where does he work? It's Quigley's.

26:10 Drew The Quigley Joes.

26:11 Adam Quigley's? Quigley Joes? No, nothing.

26:13 Drew Over on West Point Street.

26:15 Adam Yeah, home of the, holding the bottomless Pepsi trough?

26:18 Caller No, nothing?

26:21 Adam He says they're calling from New Brunswick.

26:22 Drew They didn't even give you that. They're like, they're just onto the next thing.

26:25 Adam Alright, he left you at the treasure. I thought he was like, I thought he worked for the Mint or something.

26:29 Drew Like he was in DC.

26:31 Adam Yeah. Alright, so.

26:32 Drew Next to Alexander Hamilton's statue.

26:34 Adam He left you. Okay, he's a bad guy. He seems like maybe you got a bad guy. 10 years with the same guy. You say, I asked you, why haven't you been married or you're not married? And you said, not yet. You've been with a guy for 10 years. Do you think you're going to get married and why would you want to get married?

26:54 Caller Well, this is the thing. I have a very, I have a fear of intimacy because-

27:01 Drew A what?

27:02 Adam Fear of intimacy.

27:03 Drew No kidding.

27:04 Caller Yeah. Because every guy that I ever run up against too, I don't have much-

27:10 Drew You've been with this guy since you were 18.

27:12 Adam You've been with this guy since you were a senior in high school. What are you talking about? You're almost 30.

27:17 Drew What's every guy you've been up against too, as you say?

27:20 Adam Yeah.

27:20 Caller Well, like my dad. Yeah, that's right. He abandoned me.

27:24 Drew Yeah, but why would you cling to a guy that's severe emphatomidic line to you? By the way, just to answer your-

27:30 Caller When I first met him, as far as I know, he wasn't doing this.

27:35 Adam All right.

27:36 Drew It's therefore, yeah, therefore excused the last time.

27:38 Adam Yeah, you met him in 1981.

27:39 Caller That's another life is happening.

27:41 Adam Melissa, let's go, baby. Come on. Okay, you had a crappy dad. You and everyone else in America. Now, let's go. Let's get it together.

27:48 Drew Melissa, here's the one thing, just to answer your question. The one thing you could get from him that can cause little ulcers like that would be scabies. And he is an addict, so he would be a risk for scabies. He probably does not. It's probably merely a picker syndrome. And God knows living around somebody like that can make you anxious enough to start picking at yourself.

28:04 Adam Let's go. It's 10 years. You wasted 10 years. Let's break it down. Let's go. Break yourself free. You're not a junkie. Your dad's an a-hole. So now move on. Let's go get some therapy. Dump this guy. Move on. Exactly. All right. Leanne Tweed is here. We'll take a real world class waffle crapper. We'll take ourselves a maybe the crappiest of the waffle crappers. Oh, no, the waffle list of the crappin waffles. All right. We'll work that out. I know it doesn't sound good, but it is. Take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

28:32 Caller Thank you for calling Loveline. Your call will be answered in the order it seems interesting.

28:41 Caller Loveline is brought to you by Advance Auto Parts.

28:44 We're ready in advance.

28:51 Adam Hey, everybody. Loveline. That's Dr. Drew. I'm on 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1. All right there, buddy boys. So I was going nuts on Richard Speck, the serial killer, killed all those nurses in the 60s and then became a sex toy in the joint. They had videotape of it and was just doing blow and all that kind of stuff. And the thing, we're so close to killing the guy. It was supposed to, it was just open and shut case. He should have been dead in 67. We kept him around for 25 years and paid for him in the joint. And here's all I'm saying. The death penalty. I'm not a huge fan of it. I don't think it needs to be done for the guy who gets drunk and stabs the guy who's effing his wife kind of thing. Those crimes of passion and that kind of stuff. The guy who systematically tortures and kills nine women, average age 20 in four months. Let me go ahead and put him down. That's it. We'll just weigh it out. I don't understand why everyone wouldn't just agree with that. And by the way, a guy who thinks it's a good idea to put down nine women and who has that rolling around in his head, sees that picture every time he closes his eyes. Believe me, he wants to be put down. You're doing him a favor. You really are, like a dog with dysplasia, barely stand up. You put him down, you're doing the right thing. Know what I'm saying?

30:24 Drew Interesting, yeah.

30:24 Adam And it's not up to them anymore. Guess what? You killed nine people.

30:28 You lost your vote.

30:29 Adam That's all. Can't vote? We don't get a vote on this one either. Let's put you down. Move on. Drew, you got some ideas?

30:36 Drew No, I tend to agree with you a little bit on this. It's tough stuff, but yeah.

30:40 Adam Yeah, it's not that tough. You killed nine nurses. And imagine the families of these people.

30:46 Drew Oh, please.

30:47 Adam Let's just put them down. That's all. And by the way, it's not like a choice between us putting you down and you getting back to the lab to do your stem cell research. You're just going to basically slide into a box and rot for about 22 years. If you're lucky, you'll play a little handball. Maybe we'll put you to work in the laundry. You know what I'm saying? What are you doing? Here, we'll feed you some slop. And let me tell you something. I've been to prison. Oh yes. Oh yes. Kimmel and I went to prison. And we didn't go to jail. We didn't go to a drunk tank. We went to prison. And we went in with the lifers. And those guys, food, by the way, ho ho, wow. Jesus Christ. I mean, I'm a product of the LA Unified School District. I didn't think the food could get any worse. Oh really? Like, here's what I figured. I used to look at the food. I used to be on the food stamp thing, you know, to get a little card for the loser kids. They'd slide you over the tray of a slop. I used to think the only way the school food could get any worse is if the principal actually just squatted over the tray slowly and just dropped the load right between the buns here. Like, it couldn't physically, it couldn't make food, institutional food could not, no. Prison food, worse.

32:00 Drew They figured out a way.

32:01 Adam They figured out a way to make it worse. I mean, it is bad. And these guys are miserable. Yeah, that's good times. All right. What are we doing here, Drew?

32:13 Drew Talking to the cat.

32:13 Adam Let me tell you something too, Drew. I go to the joint. I want to go to San Quentin.

32:18 Drew It's a little more colorful.

32:19 Adam I'm gonna head out to the Bay Area. Get the wind blowing. Let me tell you something about San Quentin. San Quentin, that's where Vanson is. San Quentin, San Quentin, if there wasn't a prison there, would be some of the most prime real estate in North America. If there wasn't a prison where San Quentin Prison is in Northern California, they could build a championship golf course there and some condos be worth into the billions easily, easily. Or you could head out toward Edwards Air Force Base out here and just stay at the one in the desert. You're just sitting in a big ashtray, dust blowing everywhere, crows sitting around. I mean, it's really ominous. It's just like crows on the front, just dust and dirt everywhere. See, that prison, that would suck. San Quentin, it's like, hey, you got a big rock house by the beach. And then sort of looking at it that way. I mean, seriously, Bay Area.

33:13 Drew I've seen that, but it's beautiful.

33:15 Adam Better, you could do worse. And by the way, should Manson be in the good one? You're breathing the fresh sea air. It's a hell of a like closer to the beach than we are. You know what I'm saying? Do you realize the air that Manson breathes is better in our air?

33:31 Drew But there's no secondhand smoke.

33:33 Adam Oh yeah, he's going to live forever. No seriously, we got a particle problem here in LA, right? Manson, his air?

33:41 Drew Perfect, pristine.

33:42 Adam Not twice as good as the stuff your kids are taking in, Drew. Probably into the 10 to 20 times better. In the climate, better. View out the window, hell of a like better than yours. All right?

33:53 Drew Yeah.

33:53 Caller All right.

33:55 Adam Can't send her to the crappy one? Got to go to the good one.

33:58 Drew Kat.

33:59 Adam Kat?

33:59 Drew 15. What's going on?

34:01 Caller Hi.

34:02 Adam What's happening?

34:03 Caller Nothing much.

34:04 Adam Oh, man. I got to get some of that man's in there. Drew, we should bottle the man's in there. Right. Beautiful San Quentin Bay Area air.

34:13 Drew Brains.

34:13 Adam Yeah.

34:14 Drew Bring it in. Kat, what's going on?

34:16 Caller Okay. Do you want me to tell you my story?

34:18 Drew Yeah. Please.

34:19 Caller Okay. I got drunk for my birthday on my 15th birthday, and my sister's boyfriend's brother was there. Because we're friends, and we had sex, and he said that he wanted to be with me, like girlfriend or boyfriend.

34:35 Drew Okay.

34:36 Caller And I'm like, okay, you know, I say yes, and the next day, he just starts cussing at me and everything, and just going off on me for no apparent reason.

34:47 Drew But he said he told you he wanted to be the boyfriend before you had sex.

34:51 Caller Yes.

34:52 Drew Yeah. Well, the guys will say anything to have sex.

34:54 Adam Yeah.

34:55 Drew Anything.

34:56 Adam Drew told a chick he was going to buy her a houseboat once. Because they get in her pants.

35:01 Drew Well, actually, I actually bought the houseboat.

35:02 Adam Oh, you did? Yeah. Oh, okay.

35:04 Drew But it's, the guys really, they can be awful with that kind of nonsense.

35:09 Caller Yeah, exactly. They really hurt me, so my sister talked to him when he went down because he lives on the mountain. He came downtown. Well, my sister-

35:21 Adam Wow. I bet his hair is better than Manson's hair.

35:24 Drew Yeah, better than Kat's.

35:25 Adam Coming down from the mountain.

35:27 Drew To the downtown.

35:28 Adam I picture him like-

35:29 Drew I just think of the Unabomber. I'm just imagining.

35:31 Adam Oh, really? Yeah. I was picturing more Jeremiah Johnson, you know? Guy with buckskin.

35:36 Drew How old is the guy?

35:38 Adam Carrying a gun, drinking out of a boat of sack.

35:41 Drew He may not have a birthday. They may not know.

35:43 Adam They don't know. They don't have records.

35:44 Drew Let's see.

35:45 Caller Let's see.

35:47 Adam No, no. I don't know if he's even a youngin anymore.

35:50 Drew How old is he?

35:51 Caller He's 15.

35:52 Drew 15.

35:52 Adam 15.

35:53 Caller All right.

35:54 Drew And he came down to the city.

35:55 Caller Yeah.

35:56 Drew Your sister talked to him.

35:57 Adam Yeah.

35:58 Drew And what happened?

35:59 Caller And he apologized to me and asked me out. And I told him I'd think about it. And I don't know what to do.

36:08 Drew Well, no harm. Do you like him?

36:10 Caller I do a lot. I've known him for a long time.

36:13 Drew Yeah. I really like him.

36:14 Adam When does he have to head back up to the mountain?

36:18 Caller Like a couple of days ago.

36:20 Drew He left.

36:21 Adam Oh, okay. So like when bear hunting season opens up, let's go get some meat for the winter?

36:26 Drew Elk.

36:27 Adam Elk. Okay. They got to get some like caribou and start drying the meat.

36:32 Drew Is this something, how often could you see him?

36:34 Caller I get to see him every weekend.

36:36 Drew Every weekend when he comes down with your sister's boyfriend?

36:38 Caller No, my sister's boyfriend lives here and he lives up on the mountain.

36:42 Adam Okay. Why did he just start cussing at you for no good reason?

36:49 Caller Well, he was drunk and everything, but it really, it still upsets me.

36:54 Adam Okay, I understand. I don't trust this guy.

36:57 Drew He does not sound like a good guy to you.

36:58 Adam How about you find a guy from a valley? Shake it up a little.

37:03 Caller The guy that I go out with is usually a one night stand. And this last guy that I went out with, I never had sex with him. All I did was make out with him.

37:13 Adam Hey, hey, hey, hey, cat, cat, cat.

37:14 Drew Stop with the sex, cat.

37:15 Adam Listen to me. Would you please listen to me for one second?

37:18 Caller Okay.

37:19 Adam Please, please, please. I'm a genius. Or at least a relative genius compared to your 15-year-old ass. So listen to me. Okay. You got something right now that seems like a gift, which is a vagina. That's all guys want. And you realize, yeah, guys want me. I'm cute. Or at least I'm not fat.

37:40 Drew Guys want me.

37:41 Adam I live at the bottom of the mountain and S rolls downhill.

37:44 Drew Guys from the mountain life.

37:45 Adam And everyone wants me and that's what I'm going to be about for about the next 10 years. Meanwhile, you're not getting educated. You're not learning anything. You're not discovering yourself. Only who you are to these guys that want to have sex with you. And every decision becomes about, should I date this guy?

38:01 Drew And to them, you're just an object. You're not even a full person.

38:04 Adam Yeah. Even if you do find one that treats you right, that's not who you got to be. Who are you? I mean, you need to be a student. You're 15. You need to learn something.

38:14 Drew Right. You need to develop yourself.

38:15 Adam You need to develop your personality. Not your personality and how, not your sexuality, your personality. Not what guys think of you. What society thinks of you. Who you are.

38:25 Drew Who you are.

38:25 Adam Who you are.

38:26 Drew Yeah, what you are.

38:26 Adam Yes. Do not get caught up in this. I really worry about it. And I don't know how they can avoid it, but so many women, especially the cute ones, and that's why, I swear to Christ, you're better off just having a fat troll for a daughter who can get on with her life and start developing a personality and education and blah, blah, blah. Especially when you come from what I'm picturing cat coming from. I'm picturing a house with mud between logs kind of thing and a door with leather hinges. That's what I'm picturing, by the way. They just realize like whatever guy thinks of me is who I am. That's all I'll ever be. And by the way, these are the women I end up talking to in 10 years and they weren't sure who fought in World War II.

39:10 Caller Right.

39:11 Adam They don't know anything.

39:12 Caller Right.

39:12 Adam They just everything's on hold. It's all about who wants to have sex with me? How can I present to guys? What does he think of me? What's he doing to me that's wrong? Right. Forget it. Forget it. Forget it. Go to school. Learn something. Go to college. Learn something. Or just get a hobby.

39:28 Drew Start playing the guitar. Well taken. But she is going to still have relationships, no doubt. So here's how to best conduct those. No sex. Try a two-year moratorium on sex. Just stop that.

39:39 Adam Are you kidding?

39:40 Drew And just date guys.

39:41 Adam Two days is the over under.

39:42 Drew And be very picky and don't get a boyfriend. Just date and then work on yourself as Adam suggests.

39:48 Adam Yeah.

39:49 Drew Anything else in that it's gonna be a distraction.

39:51 Adam Let me tell you what picky to cat is. Only dating guys with rope belts, not rope suspenders. No more of them.

39:58 Drew Well, it brought it out to the valley guys.

40:00 Caller Yeah.

40:00 Drew Here we go.

40:00 Adam All right.

40:01 Caller All right.

40:01 Adam Let's take a break.

40:02 Drew All right. Break it down.

40:03 Adam We got a Germany or Florida coming up.

40:05 Drew Want to do it quickly?

40:06 Adam Quickly.

40:06 Drew All right.

40:07 Adam Quickly. Costia?

40:10 Caller Costia.

40:11 Drew Costia.

40:11 Adam All right. Hey, wait a minute. There's a fighter called Costia Zoo.

40:16 Caller Oh, I heard about him.

40:17 Adam Yeah. You ever heard of him? I have.

40:19 He doesn't pronounce it.

40:20 Adam He doesn't pronounce it Costia Zoo. It's Costia Zoo.

40:23 Caller Really?

40:24 Drew What kind of name is that?

40:26 Caller It's Russian from Greek.

40:29 Adam All right.

40:29 Drew Go.

40:31 Caller So law enforcement officials are mystified by bizarre new local pastime. Young people dangling themselves from meat hooks on a popular sandbar. Locals say the wild behavior is becoming a tradition. Police found that five young people had erected a bamboo tripod and hung meat hooks from it. A young woman, her feet brushing the surface of the shallow water, dangled from the frame, hooks embedded firmly in her shoulders. To police, sorry, I like edited this story. I'll screw it up.

41:04 Drew I don't know how many sandbars are in Germany.

41:06 Adam You should have edited out sandbars.

41:07 Drew But I don't think there are too many. So let's go with Florida.

41:09 Adam We'll go with Florida.

41:10 Caller Right.

41:11 Drew Yeah.

41:11 Caller Oh, come on.

41:12 Drew And police too. What?

41:14 Caller There's beaches in Germany.

41:16 Adam I don't know they have sandbars. You never hear about sandbars. And how many beaches? Did they have a lot of beach?

41:21 Caller They have meat hooks, though. I mean, that's clearly Germanic.

41:25 Adam We're still going. We're going. We're going. Florida.

41:27 Drew The meat hook thing is sort of an is North American Indian thing. The Cherokee and stuff.

41:30 Adam We're going to Florida. Yeah.

41:32 Caller Well, they say they're probably.

41:34 Adam All right. It's Florida. Well, I also heard the story earlier at Kimmel. I mean, is it Germany? Big sandbar area?

41:41 Drew No.

41:41 Adam No.

41:42 Drew Is there ocean access?

41:44 Adam I'm trying to think. I'm trying to picture a.

41:47 Drew Maybe up north.

41:48 Adam What's if Germany's landlocked or not? They got like a Rhine and stuff. Well, what.

41:53 Drew Must be some access up north.

41:55 Adam Let's take a look at a map. Let's go take a look at Germany.

41:58 Drew We can't. We've got to do best stuff. Map of Europe.

42:01 Adam Chris, have you heard of Germany? I know they don't let you talk about other countries.

42:05 Drew Where is that?

42:06 Adam Junior college. It's in Canada.

42:08 Drew No way.

42:09 Adam I'm telling you.

42:10 Drew That's cool.

42:10 Adam Get on like MapQuest or something and find us a picture of Germany. Let's try to figure out how much ocean is around it if any of them.

42:18 Drew When you learn about it, what were these people doing? What was the nature of this region?

42:22 Adam They're just hanging themselves from hooks. People have done that for a long time.

42:25 Drew North American Indian thing.

42:27 Adam It is?

42:27 Drew Yeah.

42:28 Adam That's all right.

42:28 Drew That's a good time.

42:28 Adam It's a good time. Take a quick break. We'll be right back.

42:39 Caller Live 105.

42:43 Caller Yeah!

42:44 Woo!

42:45 Adam Get it on, buddy. Woo! Gonna get it on, gotta get it on. 829, 29, everything. I'm going to drop Trow, I swear I'll drop Trow, I will drop Trow, don't make me drop Trow. I will drop Trow, I have to drop Trow.

43:50 Drew I'm jumping out of my skis.

43:51 Adam Let's rock, there, bros. This is good radio. Shirley!

43:56 Drew Shirley 24.

43:57 Adam Shirley, 24 years age. What can we do for you?

44:01 Caller Yeah, this is an embarrassing question for me to ask my doctor, so that's why I'm calling you guys.

44:06 Drew All right, go ahead.

44:07 Caller I was, I just had a hysterectomy, like, probably.

44:12 Adam Hold on, hold on. You or a friend? Oh, wait a minute. May I screw that one up?

44:18 Drew Just want to make a few fart noises.

44:20 Adam Screw that one up.

44:20 Drew When we get out of it, make it some fart noises.

44:21 Adam If they say you, it's not a friend, right? Okay, if they say it's a friend, it's them, but if they say you, it's not a friend.

44:26 Drew Oh, but either way, it works. It's beautiful. It's a genius, a genius. Yeah.

44:29 Caller Cool drop trap.

44:30 Yeah, drop trap.

44:31 Adam Don't make me drop trap. Go ahead, Shirley.

44:34 Caller Well, okay. My question is, is that I was wondering, okay, when a male ejaculates inside of a woman and they have a uterus, okay, I know half of that sperm goes into the uterus.

44:49 Drew Yeah. No, not half of that sperm.

44:51 Adam Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

44:52 Drew A tiny little bit of sperm swims into the uterus. Yes.

44:55 Adam Yeah.

44:56 Drew Well, many, many millions of cells get in, but the semen stays out.

45:00 Adam Yeah. Mine does the backstroke.

45:03 Caller Well, my question is, is that now that I have no uterus, will I have more of like sperm coming out of me?

45:13 Adam No uterus or hot? You checked under the car seat. That's where mine was. I'd say 29, 29. Dr. Drew, what does that mean? You had hysterectomy. And Drew, shouldn't they call the HRST directory? I do know it's coming. 29, 29. Here's where the traffic is coming. Am I right? Get on a truck trail. What's up there, buddy? Let's go now.

45:39 Drew Surely.

45:39 Adam You gotta pace it up now.

45:40 Drew The stuff gets sort of absorbed through your vaginal. You know, it gets, it's just, the system there is designed to take it.

45:46 Adam Stuff, you mean my secret sauce?

45:48 Drew Very little gets up in the uterus anyway. So it's really no different than-

45:51 Adam 29, 29.

45:52 Drew No different than with the uterus. Okay. Most of the actual volume comes out anyway, just when you sort of stand up.

46:00 Adam Yeah, that's right.

46:01 Drew The sperm, the cells stick and swim their way up.

46:04 Adam I'll tell you, there's no I in uterus.

46:07 Caller Okay.

46:10 Drew No me either.

46:11 Adam Yeah, there's no me in uterus. I dropped out. All right, Drew, we cool? Surely, thanks for calling. We'll see you at the weekend splash. Going to get jet skis.

46:23 Drew I'm sorry you called at this moment. Adam, that was especially inspired during the commercial break.

46:27 Adam Where are we going here, buddy? We're going to have a hot pan with line 6829, 29, 28 o'clock.

46:33 Drew Zakara?

46:34 Adam Zakara, Zakara, Zakara. I don't care what you are. Ask a question. What's on? I have a sister.

46:40 Drew Hi, Zakara.

46:41 Caller Hi, Dr. Drew. Hi, Adam. I wanted to tell you, Dr. Drew, thank you for writing that book, Cracked. It was very inspirational.

46:48 Drew Oh, great.

46:49 Caller Yeah.

46:49 Caller I wanted to know, how did you get into writing that book?

46:54 Caller Did you just want people to know about?

46:56 Drew You know, I was thinking about writing.

46:58 Adam He just bought himself a boat and he needed to make the payments.

47:02 Drew I was thinking about writing a book and Judith Reagan asked me to have dinner with her and at the dinner, we talked about all kinds of things. In the end, she just said, there's your book, whatever we could talk about.

47:14 Adam Yeah, best piece of history you ever had.

47:15 Drew I didn't know what she was talking about. She just said, write me 20 pages. Yeah. I was sort of flipped out by that sort of ultimatum.

47:23 Adam I'm glad you couldn't have left it at 20.

47:25 Drew I went running that next day and took a tape recorder with me to see if I could get some ideas.

47:30 Adam It was an old reel-to-reel job. You got a hernia pushing up the Royal Parkway.

47:35 Drew This story just came out.

47:37 Adam The story just emerged.

47:40 Caller It was a really moving track.

47:41 Adam I'll tell you, I'm going to read that book cover to cover the second you hollow out the cover. Just pull out the pages in between.

47:47 Caller Yeah, I actually started reading it when I went to rehab after it.

47:50 Adam Oh, I'm kidding.

47:51 Drew How's your recovery going?

47:52 Caller Oh, it's going really good, actually.

47:53 Adam Good. Coming out in paperback, by the way. Finally, I could wipe my ass with a cover, too. Before, I was having to actually use the pages to wipe my ass, but the cover's a little hard.

48:02 Caller Hey, Adam, you can tell that caller before me that......talking to me.

48:06 Adam Oh, shit. Trouble.

48:07 Caller No, other Adam.

48:09 Adam Yeah. What's going on?

48:12 Caller You can tell that girl before me not to get creampied anymore.

48:15 Adam Yeah. The creampie.

48:18 Caller Yeah, creampie.

48:20 Adam Dropping trash as a car.

48:22 Drew She was going so good there. And then all of a sudden, a big left turn.

48:25 Adam Yeah.

48:26 Best Of All right. We got a rock and roll.

48:27 Adam I'll tell you what. If we guys break, gotta pay some bills. Know what I'm saying? What do we got in line when we come back? We got Chris. Stacy from East of the Rockies calling in. Margaret are coming in. She's calling in. Margaret coming in. Oh, husband. A big show. A lot of shows set up. But all right. 829 to an hour and a half. We'll be right back. More Loveline after this. There, buddy.

49:10 It's the best of Loveline.

49:11 Adam I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. And now, as promised, coming to the plate, the very funny Dave Attell. Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, Dave Attell in Tonight from Comedy Central's Insomniac, and one of the hottest stand-up comedians working today. Well, I don't know if you want to call him hot, but funniest. I do the job. He does the job. He gets the job done. And how you can put together an hour worth of material is beyond me.

49:49 Drew Mind-boggling, yeah.

49:51 Adam Just remember it. I mean, yeah. How does that work? How much does the set vary from night to night?

50:00 Best Of Well, I like to keep it loose, but it seems that I just fall, whatever it was, last fall or whatever, I was on tour with Lewis Black, and he's a great comic. You might know him from The Daily Show. Sure. He's very political and emotional and everything, and he had a really great act. I think he's doing an HBO hour, should be out sometime in the next couple of months. So you can really see what an hour looks like of stand-up. And for me, I'm more of a joke teller, like one joke at a time, and that's how you kind of build an hour. You just get jokes, and if they have to do the same thing, then you try and connect them into a bit, or a hunk or a chunk, whatever you call it. And before you know it, you've got to hour stuff.

50:42 Adam How many jokes do you think you tell? Do you have any idea?

50:45 Best Of How many are good?

50:46 Adam Well, no. I know that answer. But in an hour, do you tell 33 jokes? How many? And I know you don't quantify it that way, but do you have a ballpark estimate?

51:01 Best Of I don't know. I guess it would be coming up on 100. Because my stuff is pretty short. I try and get to it quickly. That's kind of a New York thing, where you get to the punch line, because people are usually screaming, and you suck, and you get off. So you try and get to the funny as quick as you can. Out here, people are a little bit more laid back. You have more time. But I'd say around 100 jokes, give or take a midget thing. You're in there.

51:24 Adam Drew, you're in your life. What are you up to?

51:29 Drew 22, 23 jokes? I remember that joke from Talley. I think we were up in the 20s.

51:32 Adam Yeah, true. So it's been a lifetime.

51:34 Drew They weren't all funny, though.

51:36 Best Of They're somewhat ironic.

51:37 Adam Yeah, but you're a doctor, so it's funny.

51:40 Drew Sorry, you lowered the bar for me.

51:41 Adam Yeah, it's like when these retired ballplayers go up into the booth and they're the funniest guy. They should have stand up for the Special Olympics.

51:52 Best Of Yeah, that'd be great.

51:54 Adam Yeah, it'd be like a What's-Your-Name's friend on Facts of Life. Yeah, Blair? Yeah, Blair's friend. She had that retarded friend that told jokes. You don't see much of that anymore, but it's always funny.

52:08 Best Of Well, occasionally you'll catch a comic with like a palsy hand or just some kind of weird oddity where you see that humor has been how they've handled it and how the rest of us awkwardly have to kind of deal with it. But it tracks all types. Yeah.

52:23 Adam Well, it takes all kinds.

52:25 Best Of Yeah.

52:26 Adam There's no doubt about that.

52:27 Drew A lot of lazy-eyed guys.

52:28 Adam Yeah. Julio, back to the saga known as Julio.

52:33 Drew So you've been dating, you've been sleeping daily with your brother's wife, pregnant multiple times, yet she's had a spontaneous abortion or miscarriage.

52:41 Adam Spastic uterus. Kid never met it.

52:43 Drew Incompetent cervix, they call it. And you're continuing to carry on this way with this nutball.

52:51 Caller Well, I'm actually not sure if I should leave her or not.

52:56 Adam You'd leave her? Well, it's hard to leave people that are married. If you think about it.

53:02 Well, I'm in love with her.

53:04 Caller I know I am. But...

53:07 Drew Why don't you sacrifice that for the sort of well-being of your entire family? Stop doing this.

53:13 Adam It does kind of make you wonder what kind of gal she might be. Secondly, what kind of mother she may be to her child.

53:20 Drew How old is the nephew?

53:23 Caller Five.

53:25 Best Of Do you hate your brother, I mean, to do that to your brother?

53:27 Caller You know what?

53:28 Best Of Did he not let you play with stuff or something, and now you need to be with everything he has?

53:33 Caller No.

53:34 Caller It wasn't like that.

53:35 Caller I just got the years on by.

53:37 Caller I mean, I used to like going out small. And I don't know how many years he got with her.

53:41 Caller And I mean, I hated him for that.

53:44 Best Of Oh, you was with her before they got married?

53:47 Caller No, no, I wasn't. I wanted to.

53:48 Caller I was really small.

53:50 Caller And I wanted her, but I never got her.

53:52 Caller And I hated him for getting her.

53:55 Adam I see. Dave, by the way, Dave's like almost every guy I talk to behind the counter.

54:00 Caller Julio, you mean?

54:00 Adam I mean, Julio. Sorry, Dave.

54:02 Best Of But there's a bit of Dave in here.

54:03 Adam Yeah. Well, the attitude is Dave, but the vocabulary is more Julio. Like, I never know what they're talking about. OK. So what's the answer? Stop it. Can you please stop it?

54:12 Drew Absolutely, Julio, stop it.

54:14 Adam And this is going to blow up. And I'm just just from I may be jumping to conclusions, but Julio seems like he comes from the kind of family that if the brother found out, he would stab him with a sprinkler key moments after he found out.

54:29 Drew And Julio only starts to make sense to me if he's got sort of a psychotic process about him, like if he hears voices and things, you know what I mean? It just doesn't. He's not really connected.

54:37 Adam Yeah. I think the most dangerous voice Julio could hear would be his own at this point. If he heard someone else's, it would probably be a help. Julio?

54:45 Caller Yeah.

54:46 Adam Okay. So we're asking you to stop because this thing's going to blow up.

54:51 Caller Yeah. I know it is.

54:52 Adam You will get popped.

54:54 Drew Do you have any other medical problems, Julio?

54:56 Caller No, I don't.

54:57 Drew You ever been in a hospital for any reason?

54:59 Caller No. I just broke my knee, but that was it.

55:02 Adam Yeah.

55:02 Drew No mental hospital stuff.

55:03 Caller No, no, no.

55:05 Drew Okay.

55:05 Adam It doesn't mean he didn't need it.

55:07 Best Of What would you think if you were in your brother's place and you just found that your brother was banging your wife for how long?

55:13 Drew Two years.

55:13 Best Of Two years.

55:14 Caller Yeah, why not two years?

55:16 Drew What would you do?

55:17 Best Of If he came to you and said that?

55:19 Caller Well, I won't go over time and thing, but if he did, I mean. Did he do something?

55:24 Best Of He'd be more than pissed off. You'd hate him.

55:27 Drew And if he does find out, putting something together, did he do something to you when you were growing up?

55:31 Caller No, he didn't.

55:32 Adam Nothing sexually? Is that what you're saying, Drew? No.

55:36 Drew Okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

55:37 Adam Listen, Kresgen, who cares?

55:39 Drew Because of what kind of guy would marry that kind of woman? And what kind of situation would create Julio's hatred for his brother?

55:46 Adam I'm just, I'm going to send her incompetent uterus a windbreaker. Because I really, that's the hero of the whole story. If there's any light at the end of the Julio tunnel, it's her incompetent uterus. Yes, Drew?

56:01 Drew Absolutely.

56:02 Adam Because otherwise, they'd have 30 kids. And, and no one would know it. And by the way, well, let's see, DNA, no, they'd have to be twins for the DNA to match up. They could do a DNA test. But the kid would all look like the brother, obviously, who comes from the same place Julio does. All right, let's just stop it. And if she does, if he does ever find out, don't say two years, say 18 months. Softens the blow just a little bit. Eric?

56:28 Caller Yeah, sorry about that. Wasting your time, guys.

56:30 Caller I'll answer it.

56:31 Caller I'll answer my question.

56:32 Adam Go ahead.

56:33 Caller Yeah, I have a girlfriend, and she's a little loose for my taste, and we haven't done nothing, and she says she hasn't done nothing, or she doesn't masturbate. And she goes, oh, it's my gynecologist. He does like these tests for one of them where he has a little plastic thing, and he puts it in there and opens it up and takes wipes or something like that.

56:49 Drew Yeah, it's called a pelvic exam, Eric. That's what every woman gets.

56:52 Adam Eric wasn't born yesterday, come on. Yeah.

56:56 Caller So that would happen for young girls.

57:00 Drew Every woman gets that every year.

57:02 Adam What are you getting at, Eric?

57:04 Caller No, but like, I don't know, can a gynecologist make some girl that loose? Like my hands are pretty big and I can almost fit my whole fist in there.

57:11 Adam No way.

57:13 Shut up.

57:15 Adam Bogus. All right, listen, put your fist in your mouth, would you? But don't do it slowly. Have it get a running start at your mouth before it goes in, all right? My face. Yes. Well, open your mouth wide enough, you'll be fine.

57:30 Best Of So.

57:31 Adam All right. Listen, he's a jackass.

57:32 Best Of Well, I don't get it. So he's upset that she's bogus.

57:35 Adam That's a bogus call. But we do have plenty of stupid guys who think that the woman is cheating or not a virgin because she's not tight enough down there.

57:46 Best Of For his taste.

57:46 Drew For his taste, exactly.

57:48 Adam Right.

57:48 Drew Which is ridiculous.

57:50 Adam Right.

57:50 Best Of That wouldn't be Michael Jackson's taste, right? Not that tight.

57:53 Adam No, different type.

57:54 Drew Different area.

57:56 Adam Mandy? Hello. Mandy, you're 18. What's up?

58:04 Caller Okay. I was going out with this guy for like a year and we got into the rough sex thing and we got into asphyxiation where he choked me. Now we broke up. Now I'm with this new guy and I can't orgasm unless I'm choked.

58:24 Adam And you don't want to tell him to do it?

58:28 Caller Well, I've talked to him about it, but he doesn't feel comfortable doing it because he feels that he can hurt me.

58:34 Drew You don't believe that he can?

58:36 Caller Well, I mean, I know that he can, but I know my limits also.

58:40 Adam Yeah.

58:41 Drew What are your limits?

58:43 Caller My limits?

58:44 Drew Yeah. How do you know your limits are when you're unconscious?

58:46 Caller Well, I'm not unconscious. It's just almost to that point.

58:50 Adam And then it's just they have a safe word. It's it's something that's a safe word.

58:57 Drew You understand part of the problem is that the blood supply to the brain gets cut off when you when you hold the carotids down and you can go out and be dead in seconds.

59:05 Adam You're a real doctor, just a love doctor.

59:08 Drew Right, Mandy? Yeah. That's how people die. People die of this. I've seen many patients die of this. Yes. Many, many.

59:16 Caller OK, so how do I get out of not doing it anymore then?

59:21 Drew Just focus on other means of being close and having an organ. Were you abused or something? Is that in your past?

59:27 Caller No.

59:28 Drew Nothing? You have no one hit you? He just stumbled.

59:31 Caller I mean, I was spanked as a child, but I mean, not abused.

59:35 Drew Did they hit you with an object?

59:37 Caller No.

59:38 Drew And did they do this often?

59:40 Caller Only when I was bad.

59:42 Drew Did they do this often?

59:46 Caller No.

59:47 Caller I wasn't a bad kid.

59:49 Caller I went to private school and they spanked us. They spanked us with those paddles.

59:56 Drew Oh my God.

59:58 Adam She's 18.

59:59 Drew I mean, this is normally 78. It's supposed to be like 78 or something.

1:00:04 Adam She went to private school in 2001, you know?

1:00:08 Caller It was more like kindergarten through like third grade.

1:00:11 Drew That's incredible. You should report that.

1:00:13 Adam Still, that was like 1996.

1:00:15 Drew That's against the law.

1:00:16 Caller No, it's not because the parents signed the waiver.

1:00:19 Drew It's against the law, Mandy. Waiver or not, you can't do that.

1:00:22 Adam Because I was thinking the other day, you know, my dad used to ask for that waiver and then say, no, we don't have one.

1:00:28 Drew How kids, you know, physical abuse has such a profound effect on kids' development and how parents go, well, you know, I do that with my kids. It's disciplinal, it's kind of crap. Then I think to myself, really, would you walk down the street, would you smack a kid who's just a little out of line? You smack somebody else's kid or some kid who's standing in line, you smack them, that's okay? No, only your own kids. It's so bizarre, it's so ridiculous. So, Mandy, yes, that's where some of this need for the high arousal comes from.

1:00:54 Adam But here's the thing, and tell me what you think of this. I feel like she's 18, the last guy she was with was the Boston Strangler, and if she keeps going down this road, pretty soon she's going to be hanging in a clown outfit. She needs to, now you've come to a crossroads. You were the steady guy who doesn't want to choke the life out of you while he's banging the bejesus out of you. How about you just go down his path and not get choked?

1:01:25 Caller But I don't get anything out of it.

1:01:28 Adam You get nothing?

1:01:29 Caller There's a point right now where I don't even want to have sex with them because I don't get anything out of it.

1:01:33 Adam What about oral sex?

1:01:37 Caller I don't get off on oral sex.

1:01:39 Best Of How about anal?

1:01:41 Caller I've never tried that.

1:01:42 Best Of Oh, so you'll be choked to death but you won't take the trip up the Hershey?

1:01:45 Adam Well, la-dee-dah.

1:01:46 Best Of Well, there we go, Mrs. Roughseck's play.

1:01:49 Caller I figure that's an egg.

1:01:49 Best Of Oh, really? Okay, but you're allowed to be strangled. Now, come on already.

1:01:52 Adam You know what? That's a tall order. It's a 69 strangling.

1:01:57 Drew You ever do that, Drew?

1:01:57 Adam I have to use my feet to strangle the woman.

1:02:00 Best Of That's like a James Bond.

1:02:01 Adam 69 strangling.

1:02:03 Drew Well, now you take it. You take some noose and you...

1:02:06 Adam Oh, I do that.

1:02:06 Drew You put it in your feet.

1:02:08 Adam Yeah. All right. Mandy, there's something screwed up about you, baby doll.

1:02:12 Drew Really? Very, very seriously, man.

1:02:15 Adam And here's what we're asking. We're asking all of you to do this. Instead of being screwed up and saying, hey, but that's my thing, how about saying, hey, you're screwed up.

1:02:26 Drew Better do something about it.

1:02:27 Adam Maybe there's an opportunity to stop this. I mean, like anything, like if you're doing heroin, it's not, hey, that's my thing, it's, no, you're junkie and you should probably quit.

1:02:35 Drew That's right.

1:02:35 Adam If you want to F five-year-old boys, it's not, hey, that's my thing, it's, no, you better stop.

1:02:41 Drew And the same is true with this before you expire, which could happen easily. Right. Any fetish for that matter really is just primarily to create profound levels of arousal because you've had those arousal systems burned out or unwired by the extreme abuse or the misfortunate experiences in childhood. And also to distance yourself from the other person. You notice how you're seeing, she's so angry and demeaning and the guy, because God forbid, he's trying to be intimate with her.

1:03:08 Adam And then think about the poor guy, too. He kills you. And then it's that scene from a movie where it's like, should I call the cops? They'll never believe me. I got a couple of priors. I got a barrier in a shallow grave, you know? Then the cops come sniffing around and they find your scarf on it on the nightstand and they always suspect the next thing you know, they end up digging. Now the guy's doing hard time. And then what happens in court is your parents have to show up because they want this guy put away forever. And then the details start coming out. She told me that unless I was finger blasting her and strangling her that the parents just are tearing up. And it's like she begged me to do it to her. She wanted me to call her a slut and flog her with my penis. Your mom is now broken down into tears. Your dad's got a shotgun in his mouth.

1:03:59 Best Of And who is the only winner? Ed Harris. That's right. He gets to play your dad in the movie.

1:04:03 Adam In the movie. Yeah. When they do the movie.

1:04:04 Best Of So if you want to give Ed Harris work, then you just keep it going, girl.

1:04:07 Adam That's right. That's right. Bill, that's how Ed gets his work. And Jeremy Piven will get work too. Not because of the type, not because of the friend. It's just he's in every other movie. So there's a 50, 50, 50 shot he's going to be in this production.

1:04:26 Caller Bill?

1:04:27 Yeah.

1:04:28 Adam You're 23.

1:04:30 Caller I got a question for David. Here he is.

1:04:32 Best Of Yes, sir.

1:04:33 Caller Yeah, you did a bit a while ago about you rode around, I think it was with Miami Sheriff's SWAT team. Yes, sir. And you guys were shooting groundhogs.

1:04:45 Best Of Nutria, that's what they call them.

1:04:47 Caller Oh, okay.

1:04:47 Adam Oh, Nutria.

1:04:48 Drew Is it a rat?

1:04:49 Best Of They're a rat out of South America that have been brought to the States and they're in the South and they kind of get into the, yeah, Louisiana. Yeah. They get into the hole, you know, screwing stuff up.

1:04:59 Caller That was a great bit. You guys catch any flak for that?

1:05:03 Best Of No, you know what? We did that before this whole 9-11 thing. And we got we got some stuff from PETA, I guess, because we did actually shoot rats. So that's what you're saying for flak. But I don't really care. I mean, it's something the police do.

1:05:16 Adam So the nutria, they pay them for they pay them like a bucket head or something.

1:05:22 Best Of Well, what they did originally was set poison, like for rats, like in New York City and the subways, they'll throw down some poison. But dogs and cats were eating it and whatever native of animals.

1:05:33 Adam Yeah.

1:05:33 Best Of So they said this is the best way to take it out. And it was cool that they let us hang with them.

1:05:39 Adam And the thing about the nutria, by the way, which is just a creepy name because it seems it sounds like a diet shake. But I had the entire nutria discussion with two guys last night at dinner.

1:05:50 Drew Subatomic particle, neutrino.

1:05:54 Adam I guess the guy, and Dave probably knows more than I do, but he stopped me if I'm wrong, but I think the Tabasco guy brought nutria in around, I don't know, the early 19-somethings. He was going to harvest their fur. Right. And make coats or whatever out of them. And then a big typhoon or something blew through, hurricane blew through, knocked over all the cages and all the nutria got loose, and then just started multiplying out in the wilderness. And now you got this species that, I don't know where it's from, but I know it's not Holland. It's always from Africa or South America. Yeah, South America or Africa, by the way. Is that all we need to know about those two continents, by the way? All the evil vermin come from there, the bees, everything's bad that comes. It all gets over here. Yeah, everything's a killer over there, by the way. It's like Florida. Like everything is big and mean and venomous and stuff. Like you got a snake that comes from California, that's fine, that's just a garden snake. You get one that comes from Africa or South America, it'll kill your family.

1:07:01 Drew It'll spit stuff at you, it kills you.

1:07:02 Adam Yeah, it shoots in the eye, blinds you, then it rakes you, then it kills you.

1:07:06 Drew What is it about south of the equator that makes all that happen?

1:07:09 Best Of Stuff gets big and mean.

1:07:11 Drew Yeah, but why not? It's just the same distance, just one south, one north. What difference does it make?

1:07:16 Adam I don't know. I believe God had a plan that had to do with the equator, or he wouldn't have invented the equator.

1:07:23 Best Of It makes you feel like the cougar, which is a big thing. Like, oh, the cougar is going to attack. At least it doesn't crawl up your urethra and get into your brain and make you go insane.

1:07:33 Adam Right. Everything is just big and scary and evil. And they get over here on some cargo ship or some entrepreneur brings them over and then they breed them. And then the next year, we got a bunch of slack jaw guys just shooting at them. But you could spend a worse night than going out and shooting at Nutria.

1:07:50 Best Of Yeah, it was fun. I really did feel like I was doing something.

1:07:53 Adam Did they respond to the light or how do you?

1:07:56 Best Of They have a guy, what they do is you get on the back of a flatbed truck and they use, I guess, 22s and it's a SWAT team, so they know how to shoot, you know. And they're using like a low powered, you know, I guess, weapon. So it's not going to go everywhere. It's not going to go ricocheting around. And they go around through the levies and the dikes and they they do like one man mans the flashlight and the other guy's the shooter. So it's cool seeing the whole, you know, you know, take them out kind of thing.

1:08:19 Adam And and how big are they? They look like big rats or what they look like?

1:08:22 Best Of They're huge. Yeah, they're probably like 40, 50 pounds.

1:08:25 Adam Wow.

1:08:25 Best Of Big teeth. And they might carry leprosy.

1:08:29 Adam 40, 50 pounds.

1:08:30 Best Of Yeah, they're big. They're huge. Like a dog. Yeah, they eat. I guess they're what is it? They eat everything.

1:08:36 Adam Omnivores.

1:08:37 Best Of Omnivores. So they, you know, they eat everything. They're garbage.

1:08:39 Drew You know, 40, 50 pounds.

1:08:42 Best Of Yeah, they stink.

1:08:44 Adam Wow. Great radio, by the way. Yay. Yay. No, smell it. Yay. Yeah, true. Does anyone know what yay is?

1:08:51 Drew I would have just, just I'll describe it to them. If they like to hear.

1:08:53 Adam Drew is, when he says yay.

1:08:55 Drew That's like three feet across. Yeah.

1:08:57 Adam Yeah. He's, that's a little less, but a medium sized dog. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

1:09:02 Best Of But I don't think we could do it now because of the whole terror and, you know, everything is security.

1:09:07 Adam We need the SWAT team.

1:09:08 Best Of You need the SWAT team watching the airports.

1:09:10 Adam It's gotta be bad yet. Cause you got a hostage situation in town and these guys are all at drinking at the bar.

1:09:16 Drew Maybe the nutrients can solve our terrorist problems. They set up in Afghanistan.

1:09:20 Adam Yeah.

1:09:20 Best Of There's a couple of flatbeds with the-

1:09:22 Adam You know what we need to do?

1:09:23 Drew Dump some nutrients over there.

1:09:23 Adam If it was some of these countries, is start exporting some of our crappy things over there. You know what I mean? Let them- Don't for that. Cause I swear to you, I think everything that's bad that's on this soil was brought in from somewhere. And so here are the choices. Africa, Mexico, South America. It's all, anything is deal. Here's what we had before this. Butterflies. That's all we had.

1:09:43 Drew Hummingbirds and butterflies, the bald eagles.

1:09:46 Adam We had kittens. They never even matured to full cats. We had kittens, hummingbirds and butterflies. And yes, bald eagles. That's all we had. And then the scorpions and the roaches and the venomous snakes and the nutria, they all came in from other countries. This is why we need that fence I've been talking about for a long time. All right. David, not our David, this David. David, you're 17.

1:10:10 Caller Yeah.

1:10:11 Caller Yeah, I'm 17.

1:10:13 Drew Oh, man, are you high?

1:10:14 Adam What is it? It's Night of the Hesher.

1:10:17 Drew Yeah.

1:10:18 Adam What's the matter? You smoking a lot of weed?

1:10:20 Caller No, a lot of people pass it off that I smoke a lot of weed. But I don't smoke weed.

1:10:26 Drew All right. You had a head injury?

1:10:28 Caller No.

1:10:30 Adam All right. Well, it's time to either start smoking weed or hit yourself in the head with something or go ahead and speak up. All right. Put it together, buddy. What's going on?

1:10:40 Caller Well, like I've been dating Joe for six months now. We're going on a seventh month and the thing is like, I've liked her for about two, three years. I've known her since I was a sophomore. We both have the same going on with each other. Like the thing is that she screwed me over. So we didn't date and now we're dating now. Like the thing is that we both are after each other. I mean we both like each other. We both love each other.

1:11:05 Drew We both have the same thing with each other. What's your question?

1:11:07 Caller The thing is that like, I mean, she was like, okay, we were having sex and the stuff. And all of a sudden she just like put a wall there and she just like stopped it. And she was like, no more sex. And I was like, why? And the thing is it's questioning me. Cause like the thing is that she still wants to, it's weird cause like she still gives me head and she like still wants to do sexual things. And then she says that she doesn't. And all of a sudden she does. And then now she won't have sex. And like every time-

1:11:35 Adam Hold on a second. How come the more boring you are, the more backstory we get? You know, the really exciting people, they don't want to talk about their three tours in NAMM. They just want to get to the question. These guys, the Hescher High Schoolers, we got to get the whole backstory about how they met when they were 13. Okay. She, her stopping sex-

1:11:54 Drew Has nothing to do with him.

1:11:56 Adam Here's what it could mean. It possibly means that she's seeing somebody else.

1:12:00 Drew Possibly.

1:12:00 Adam Sometimes they'll do that.

1:12:02 Drew Yeah, it's possible. More than not, it just means she's ambivalent about being sexually active.

1:12:07 Adam David?

1:12:08 Caller But the thing is that, like, she doesn't-

1:12:11 Drew Hey, David.

1:12:11 Caller Hold on.

1:12:12 Adam Let me give you a tip. David. Yeah? Forget about your last year of high school. You go right to junior college. Yeah. I want you to actually just drop out and go to junior college now. Why? Well, let's forego your senior year. Like, here's what I'm saying. A great athlete at the college, at the collegiate level-

1:12:29 Drew Go right.

1:12:29 Adam He'll go right into the pros.

1:12:30 Drew So David's a perfect-

1:12:31 Adam David is that for junior college. He is a phenom.

1:12:34 Drew Yes.

1:12:34 Adam He needs to leave high school early because he's just wasting his time there. Go straight to junior college.

1:12:40 Drew He's a poster child for junior college experiences.

1:12:42 Adam That's right. He's like LeBron James of Stupid.

1:12:45 Drew Either that or he's deaf. You actually can't hear.

1:12:48 Adam Okay. Let's take a little break. David Tell is here tonight from Insomniac Comedy Central, every single night of the week. Take a quick break. We'll be right back. Yep, that is the best of Love Line, and it's not over yet.

1:13:23 Drew No, no.

1:13:23 Adam Not by a long shot. Here's a guy in a show that I make fun of on occasion because I don't get it, but he is one of the nicest guys in the world. Yes, Drew?

1:13:35 Drew Yes, Adam.

1:13:36 Adam And has lost like 100 pounds.

1:13:38 Drew Looks great, too.

1:13:39 Adam He does, though. The black guy shouldn't bother dieting.

1:13:42 Drew They look great no matter what, right?

1:13:43 Adam Here's the thing. When you can wear whatever frames you want on whatever glasses you want and whatever kind of hat you want and you just wear a duster. Yes, Cedric the Entertainer minus 70 pounds is not necessarily a better looking guy.

1:13:57 Drew Still Cedric the Entertainer, yeah.

1:13:58 Adam It's like, look, a white guy starts turning pink and starts getting breast and lactating. You're a disaster.

1:14:04 Drew Disgusting.

1:14:05 Adam Black guy, just you change your look a little, grow goatee, get a fedora, put on 150 pounds.

1:14:11 Drew Looks a little tougher, scarier.

1:14:12 Adam You look scary. Get that neck roll going in the back of your head.

1:14:15 Drew That's good.

1:14:16 Adam All right. Everyone from American Idol, Randy Jackson. Hey everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Randy Jackson in studio tonight.

1:14:29 Best Of What up, what up?

1:14:30 Adam A judge from American Idol, of course. And, uh, artitians. Nice claps, man.

1:14:36 Nice claps.

1:14:37 Adam What are you guys looking for other than, you know, it's great when you have charisma and you have someone who's physically attractive as well as has the goods and the pipes to back it up. But are you, are you looking for a little diversity, too? Like someone who sings a little rock or maybe someone who sings opera or something like that?

1:14:54 Yeah, I think looking for diversity and also looking for uniqueness, you know what I'm saying? Because, you know, what happens a lot of times is kids are coming in and they sound just like somebody else on the radio.

1:15:02 Adam Right.

1:15:03 No, we're not looking for the next switchfoot front singer guy. No, we're not looking for the girl from Evanescence. No, we're not looking for Mariah Carey.

1:15:12 Drew Do you, the judges, talk about this? Do you plan what you're looking for?

1:15:16 No, but I mean, you know, we talk about it during the thing because, I mean, if you're going to copy somebody, I mean, you know, what good is that? Because, you know, the whole thing about being on the radio and having a big play history in radios, you have identity that you're building. So when somebody turns on and go, oh my God, that is definitely Axl Rose. Oh my God, that's definitely, you know, Usher or somebody, you know what I mean?

1:15:38 Adam Yeah.

1:15:38 Identity, identity.

1:15:40 Adam Usher can dance, by the way. You ever see him dance?

1:15:42 No, he's a true entertainer.

1:15:44 Adam Oh my God.

1:15:44 He's got the whole thing.

1:15:45 Adam There's dancin and then there's dancin. He dances, like, he's like, wow, I would get laid if I could dance like that.

1:15:51 We call it dancin, that's dancin.

1:15:54 Adam That's dancin. Yeah, I mean, it's like, the guys who dance, but you kind of go, eh, I could do that. But then he, when he does it's, oh no, no, I could not be doing that.

1:16:05 No, he's definitely got the goods, man. He's got all the goods.

1:16:08 Adam I like once in a while when the guy, here's what I'd do. I would finish everything with a back handspring if I could do it, because that eliminates the, I could do that crowd almost immediately.

1:16:17 Caller Yeah, but you know what's cool about that? You show all the chicks that you're very athletic.

1:16:21 Adam Ooh. Oh no, women, women, I mean, one day we oughta hook them up to some sort of moisture meter. And just watch, because they watch a guy, here's the whole thing, they watch a guy work on a jet engine, nothing, like an ashtray in there. They see a guy doing a little hip shake, all of a sudden it's a front gate's open.

1:16:41 Caller Yeah, the motor's moving.

1:16:43 Adam Yeah, they love that. They love, I mean, if you could really move and you go out to a club and you just take over the dance floor and start shaking your ass, you're in every night.

1:16:53 Caller Lot of chicks, lot of chicks, maybe.

1:16:55 Adam Absolutely, because they look at that as, this is how this guy Fs. This is, this is, and then something even deeper than that.

1:17:04 Caller Ooh, ooh, speak for yourself.

1:17:07 Adam No, I mean, you know what I'm saying.

1:17:08 Drew No, no, never.

1:17:10 Adam It hits them on a visceral level. Whereas as a guy, we want a hot chick.

1:17:14 Drew Period.

1:17:15 Adam Right. Doesn't matter. Like, look, put it this way. If one chick didn't look so hot, but moved, man, could move on that dance floor, would not take her over the hot chick that moved like the Tin Man. Even if she was a half a notch hotter.

1:17:33 Caller Oh, no, man.

1:17:34 Caller That's a tall stuff. Half a notch.

1:17:36 Adam Half a notch. But maybe not half a notch, but two notch. The different, the five that couldn't dance in the six and a half, the five that could dance in the six and a half that couldn't, we'd take the six and a half every day.

1:17:47 Caller Definitely, definitely, definitely.

1:17:49 Adam All right, thank you. That's guys, that's guys, everybody.

1:17:52 Drew Yeah. Take notes.

1:17:54 Caller Take notes, guys.

1:17:55 Adam Is that, what you call that?

1:17:56 Drew Cherie.

1:17:57 Adam Cherie?

1:17:58 Caller Cherie.

1:17:59 Drew Cherie.

1:18:00 Caller Yeah.

1:18:00 Adam How do you, oh, wait a minute, is that how you spell Cherie?

1:18:02 Drew Cherie, it's S-H-E-R-R-Y-E.

1:18:05 Adam How do you spell your name?

1:18:06 Caller S-H-E-R-I. How do you spell it on the?

1:18:11 Drew S-C-H-E-R-I-E.

1:18:13 Adam S-C-H-E-R-I-E.

1:18:14 Caller Cherie. I'm Cherie, that's how you spell her name.

1:18:16 Adam All right, baby doll. Let's get to the problem. 25.

1:18:20 Caller Yeah.

1:18:21 Adam You use meth every day.

1:18:23 Caller Every day.

1:18:24 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

1:18:26 Drew What's your question? Cherie, did you see that USA Today article? I think it was a front page article about all the brain damage from regular meth.

1:18:33 Adam Oh, really? It was front page.

1:18:35 Drew We've known that for quite some time, that meth is one of the drugs that really just destroys brain tissue.

1:18:41 Adam Really? Yeah, I never, I mean, it's talked about as a horrible drug, but.

1:18:47 Drew I've mentioned it a billion times. Thank you for listening, Adam.

1:18:49 Adam I tune out.

1:18:50 Drew Yeah, I know. But the region in which the damage is done is sort of in the limbic area. So people get two very characteristic symptoms. One is they're always depressed and anxious, and the other is they have memory problems, short-term memory problems. All right.

1:19:04 Adam Also, hold on a second. The, I know you're doing pet scans and looking at the brain, but the average IQ of the person that gets going with the meth has to be 20 points lower than us geniuses with the Coke and the heroin.

1:19:21 Drew Wow. Do you know, and again, you'll always tell me not to ask these kinds of questions, but I will.

1:19:26 Adam Go ahead.

1:19:27 Drew Is in the town where I work, you know where they have the biggest, one of the biggest amphetamine problems.

1:19:32 Adam In where?

1:19:34 Drew Caltech.

1:19:34 Adam Caltech. Well, okay.

1:19:36 Caller Are you serious?

1:19:36 Drew Yeah.

1:19:37 Adam But that's the-

1:19:37 Caller Just people who work in late hours.

1:19:39 Drew They're using it initially functionally. They think they understand the risk because they're big scientists and they're going with it.

1:19:45 Adam Those are Asians who would kill themselves if they got to be.

1:19:47 Drew The point is, though, these are very bright people.

1:19:50 Adam All right. But that's different. I'm talking about the sun blasted white trash trailer park, cooking it up in the kids', you know, stash it in the kids' diaper. That's what I'm thinking. When I'm thinking meth, I'm thinking albino white trash.

1:20:06 Drew You and I, we live in southern California, so we think desert meth.

1:20:10 Adam Desert meth. Desert meth.

1:20:12 Caller Party in the desert. Party in the desert.

1:20:13 Drew It's a nothing worse than that. It's a sun bleached, drawn sun damage.

1:20:20 Adam Everything looks sun blasted and sort of waiting to die. It's a chain smoking, leathery looking, it's never dark curly hair.

1:20:32 Drew Strangely, never a male that comes to mind either.

1:20:34 Adam No, it's always that chick. Sherry?

1:20:38 Caller Yeah.

1:20:39 Adam Sorry, baby doll. All right, so it's bad for you.

1:20:43 Drew What's your question?

1:20:44 Caller Well, I haven't noticed, like people that know me haven't noticed the change.

1:20:53 Drew It comes with time. It will eventually, and I'm saying this with essentially without exception, there will be brain damage and there's a slowly progressive paranoia that's separate from the brain damage that occurs because of the chemical results of the drug where you will become increasingly preoccupied with your neighbors, coworkers, friends, and family and people develop very elaborate delusions about them.

1:21:17 Caller Okay. One more question. Since I've been using, I've noticed in a good, a positive result in my life, believe it or not, I've lost weight.

1:21:29 Drew No, I do.

1:21:30 Adam Listen, you lose.

1:21:33 Caller Is there a prescription drug that would give me the same thing without?

1:21:37 Drew Not quite the same way.

1:21:39 Adam At the beginning, you lose a couple of pounds and you can work a little harder.

1:21:42 Drew Here's the deal. People become addicted to drugs that work for them.

1:21:47 Adam Yeah.

1:21:47 Drew No one's happier than my opiate addicts when they find their way to opiate. It usually takes a few years for the house of cards to fall. But these things work like a mother.

1:21:56 Caller Now, Sherry, how long have you been using?

1:21:58 Caller Well, I experimented when I was younger, but, you know, off and on, here and there, partying and stuff, but this has been kind of serious for about a year.

1:22:08 Adam Hold on. Do I hear any kids in the background?

1:22:11 Caller No, no kids.

1:22:12 Adam Good. Good. Don't have any kids.

1:22:15 Caller Actually, I've been listening to you guys for a long time, and you've helped me a lot in my relationship.

1:22:21 Adam Thank you. Another success story, everybody. Strung out on speed. Dr. Loveline, let's send you out of Windbreaker. We're going to give you a plaque.

1:22:29 Drew But, Sherry, go see a psychiatrist. Maybe there are things that can be used. Again, it's speculating what your diagnosis is. It works. You're feeling better with speed. But addiction has been activated here, and the thing about addiction is there will be ongoing use in the face of adverse consequence once those begin accumulating. All right.

1:22:48 Adam Let me say this.

1:22:49 Drew It's rough.

1:22:50 Adam Speed, bad drug, and listen. You're talking to a guy who doesn't say they're all bad, but speed the worst. You brought up the article in the USA Today. The part of the USA Today that I'm mesmerized by is the snapshots down on the corner. It's like, I swear to Christ, a month ago, it was a number of fireworks-related injuries. Wow. July, 70 percent as opposed to December, where it's like, and I'm looking at these things and I'm like, no ass Sherlock, first off. Secondly, you don't got anything for today. Put a picture of a missing kid. This is my whole thing. I've been reading the Peanuts cartoon for the last 20 years, waiting to crack a smile, realizing what a hack Schultz was, and just look, it's like box, box, box, box, nothing. And my whole thing is, is you got nothing today. Put a picture of a missing kid. How about that, Drew?

1:23:49 Drew I am so sick of news talking down to the public and thinking the public is stupid and not worthy of an in-depth discussion. How about giving little bits of education? Actually teaching people things. If you think they're going to do a little blind.

1:24:02 Caller Yeah, exactly. Teach them something. Why couldn't you do that?

1:24:04 Drew I am so sick of being in newsrooms where people don't talk to the public. They can't understand you. You're creating the news for these people, for God's sake.

1:24:13 Caller Oh my God.

1:24:14 Adam Well, but Drew, I'm sure a lot of people were surprised to hear that around the Fourth of July there was more injuries from fireworks.

1:24:21 Drew Shocking.

1:24:21 Adam Shocking. From fireworks.

1:24:22 Caller Oh my God.

1:24:25 Drew They couldn't come to that conclusion on their own and you've got to deliver to them very carefully because they're so fragile and so stupid. They can't understand anything else.

1:24:32 Adam No, because we've all had cousins and aunts and sisters and fathers and mothers have all lost fingers in the month of December.

1:24:40 Caller Exactly.

1:24:41 Drew Christmas time, of course.

1:24:42 Adam Christmas time. You think M-80s. So do you think Christmas time?

1:24:46 Drew You think Pickle O Peas and Fountains?

1:24:47 Caller Well, there's a shotgun on New Year's Eve. There's a shotgun.

1:24:54 Adam I just it's just one of those things where it's like, look, and about every third little snapshot box I read over on USAID, I realize, I just look at it. I start reading, I get about halfway into it. I get to the bottom, I'm like, you guys had nothing.

1:25:07 Caller You had nothing. They put nothing there.

1:25:08 Adam Same with the cartoons. It's like, what's going on with Mama's Family? Nothing. You know, you didn't have anything today. And here's the thing. You got nothing. You don't have a joke. You don't have an interesting statistic. Fine. You got nothing. Put a missing kid in there.

1:25:22 Best Of Yeah. Who's going to complain?

1:25:23 Adam What do I do? Write a letter? Where's my ridiculous pie chart? When instead there's a kid that was abducted? You know what I mean? Put the missing kid in there. And that's what everything, this is, we should just adopt this in general, which is if you got nothing, picture of a missing kid. Like right now, on this radio show, there should be a picture of a missing kid. But close your eyes and picture someone missing. We got nothing. We got nothing. I'm gonna go for 20 minutes about the same thing.

1:25:50 Drew But we got auditions for American Idol.

1:25:51 Adam That's right. We got Randy Jackson, everybody.

1:25:53 Caller You guys are gonna audition. I love it.

1:25:55 Caller Yeah.

1:25:55 Drew We'll go audition.

1:25:56 Caller Yeah. Come on, baby. Come on, baby.

1:25:58 Adam Come on. Drew can sing.

1:26:00 Caller I sing.

1:26:01 Adam Drew sings opera, everybody.

1:26:02 Caller Yeah.

1:26:03 Drew He does.

1:26:04 Adam Oh, Anderson. Is that? This is Drew actually singing opera.

1:26:10 Drew Really?

1:26:10 Adam It's on Ben Stein's show.

1:26:12 Drew Yes, it is. What's so funny about that?

1:26:23 Adam I'm picturing a missing kid being in place of this segment. Now, what is that? Japanese? I think it's Italian.

1:26:36 Caller Italian, I like that.

1:26:38 Adam I'll sing this. I will do it.

1:26:40 Caller Wait a minute, wait a minute, man. Is this really you?

1:26:42 Adam This is him.

1:26:43 Caller For real, for real? Yeah.

1:26:47 Caller Dude, I'm impressed, dude.

1:26:51 Caller What's so funny about that?

1:26:52 Caller I love him.

1:26:53 Adam I'm impressed.

1:26:54 Caller You and Pavarotti, man.

1:26:55 Caller Come on.

1:26:55 Adam I'm impressed. You're a spindly white guy, man.

1:26:58 Caller You're building it up.

1:26:59 Adam And a doctor, everybody.

1:27:02 Drew All right.

1:27:02 Adam And a man of passion.

1:27:05 Drew I like... No, that's really good. I was singing that and Ben Stein was so... Ben Stein, our relationship turned at that moment.

1:27:11 Adam Really? Because, yeah, you guys used to go at each other.

1:27:13 Drew No, no. He thought that we were... Wow.

1:27:15 Caller That's impressive, man.

1:27:16 Caller All right.

1:27:17 Drew All right, doctor.

1:27:18 Caller All right.

1:27:19 Caller The doctor's in the house.

1:27:21 Caller The doctor's in the house for real now.

1:27:23 Drew All right.

1:27:24 Adam Let's take ourselves a little break. Granny Jackson, you're here tonight. Yeah. And we'll be right back after this.

1:27:39 Drew Live 105.

1:27:47 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1.

1:27:56 Drew Yep.

1:27:57 Adam Yeah.

1:27:57 Drew Mercifully. Let's go.

1:27:58 Adam Who do you want to talk to? Brett?

1:27:59 Drew Yep.

1:28:00 Adam All right. Brett?

1:28:03 Caller Hey, guys, what's going on?

1:28:04 Adam What's happening, my man?

1:28:06 Caller I'm doing pretty good.

1:28:07 Adam Fantastic.

1:28:08 Caller I'm really excited to be on with you guys.

1:28:10 Adam We're excited to have you on the show, and as you know, the callers are the show.

1:28:16 Caller Oh, well, when the Ace man isn't the show.

1:28:18 Adam Well, that's true.

1:28:20 Drew What's up, Brett?

1:28:21 Caller Hey, I just, first of all, wanted to say, Dr. Drew, I've been trying really hard to get ahold of your book, but every time I get to the bookstore, it's sold out. So congratulations, you're selling really well here.

1:28:31 Drew Well, thanks. Anybody who read it and likes it, please put some positive reviews up on the Amazon website. I had it for a long time, and I went out tonight, I went, there's some wonderful ones, but there were some hideous ones.

1:28:45 Caller There were a lot of bad reviews out there.

1:28:47 Drew There's 200 reviews out there, so it's bound to be some bad ones, but the ones that are so...

1:28:51 Adam Drew, stop torturing yourself.

1:28:53 Drew I'm empty and mindless and acting out. I can't stand that.

1:28:58 Adam I've never gone on the computer and put my name anyway before. It would be torture.

1:29:02 Drew It is torture.

1:29:03 Adam Don't do it. Go ahead, Brett.

1:29:06 Caller Oh, yeah. So, yeah, I've been with my girlfriend for a little bit over a year, and we have a really wonderful relationship, and we both love each other entirely, and we've come up upon this little issue recently where, I mean, we've been doing what couples do sexually, but she seems to be afraid to have sex, and everything up to oral, we both are very comfortable with and enjoy entirely, but it seems that she is afraid. She's voiced that she's afraid and doesn't know why.

1:29:48 Drew You're 18. How old is she?

1:29:49 Caller She's 16. Oh. Yeah, I know, and I knew you guys would have an issue with that.

1:29:55 Drew Well, it's not so much an issue as that a 16-year-old really might not be ready for this. An overwhelming experience.

1:30:01 Adam And you've never had, is she a virgin?

1:30:04 Caller Yes, we both are.

1:30:05 Adam Both are. Is she a pretty, Brett? What? Quiet down. Okay. Brett's 18, but he's one of the good ones.

1:30:13 Drew Yeah, yeah. No, absolutely. And that's why I don't have an issue with him seeing her and just the way he's treating her when not. Yeah. And it is within the law in California.

1:30:21 Adam And you guys have been together for how long?

1:30:23 Caller For a year, over a year.

1:30:24 Drew She was, she was 17, she was 15.

1:30:26 Adam Over a year.

1:30:27 Drew It works.

1:30:28 Adam Okay. And you'd like to lose your virginity.

1:30:32 Caller Yeah, I plan on being with her for quite a while.

1:30:35 Drew Yeah. I would still really urge you not to push her.

1:30:38 Caller Oh, no, I don't. In fact, I've, I've been speaking with her a little bit, actually just with your inspiration, listening to what you have to say on the radio all the time.

1:30:50 Adam You rant about traffic for 20 minutes at a time.

1:30:53 Caller That too. But with what Dr. Drew often discusses about sexual abuse histories and...

1:31:01 Drew Has she got some history?

1:31:02 Caller Well, we started talking about that just maybe a month ago. And I mean, I have my own history, which isn't, which isn't so filled with sexual abuse as it is with a little bit of physical and psychological. But she, she is unsure, which is interesting, but she, she has never said no or yes. She, she's unsure as to whether there's been abuse. She says she can clearly remember her childhood, but that there are some...

1:31:34 Adam Well, how is her relationship with her family?

1:31:37 Caller Her relationship with her mother and sister is excellent. And with her father, it's very distant. But the parents are together.

1:31:44 Drew Why, why so distant with dad?

1:31:46 Adam Dad's an attorney or something?

1:31:47 Caller No, no, actually her dad, I mean, he does, he did work full-time until two months ago that he got laid off. But no, it's nothing like an attorney or anything like that. It is, it's clerical work, but...

1:32:01 Drew Why distant from him?

1:32:02 Caller Why?

1:32:03 Caller Why distant? Just because what she has voiced to me is that she saw something happen between her parents about four years ago.

1:32:18 Drew All right, so they can freak out a little bit. The boy, she's a little freaked out. Brad's a good guy. Yeah. The fact that she's with him says something good.

1:32:25 Adam Yeah.

1:32:25 Drew She's not really behaving like a trauma survivor. She's got some issues, some phobic preoccupation. She's still young, can't process all this. She'll get through this, she'll get through this.

1:32:34 Adam Give her some time. You trying to sort of rush her sexual encounter with you, the intercourse part is like you trying to get a shrub to grow by standing next to it and like yelling at it. It's just put a little water on it, hit it with a little manure.

1:32:51 Drew Give it some time.

1:32:52 Adam Hope God, the clouds part and God smiles on it, a little sunshine, and don't worry, it'll happen. You're standing yelling at it, it's just not going to really do anything. And that's fine, and Brad's a good guy, and you may screw it up. So fine, but-

1:33:09 Drew But here's where the 16, 18 thing does get in the way. At 18, you're sort of in a different place, and it's going to be hard to wait the two or three years it takes her to come around.

1:33:17 Adam Right, and they're having oral sex, so I'm going to give it six months.

1:33:22 Drew At least.

1:33:23 Adam If you don't get it in six months, you can call us back and I'll send the van over.

1:33:29 Drew Let's quickly take five real quick. Christina, 19.

1:33:32 Caller Hi.

1:33:33 Drew Hey.

1:33:33 Adam You've never been to the gyno?

1:33:35 Caller Never.

1:33:36 Adam You're having sex?

1:33:37 Caller Yes.

1:33:38 Drew Then you have to go.

1:33:39 Caller Yeah. My question was, how confidential is it in regards to my parents?

1:33:46 Drew You are an adult. You are an adult. The doctor cannot share any information with anybody other than under your explicit direction.

1:33:52 Caller Yeah.

1:33:53 Adam They have the HIPAA laws and they have the narco.

1:33:58 Caller It wouldn't accidentally come out. I don't know, I don't know.

1:34:02 Drew There's no accident. It's against the law.

1:34:04 Adam Are you going to publish it and jam it?

1:34:06 Caller Well, no. I just have this whole picture of going into the office and they're like, oh yeah, since your daughter is sexually active and her parents are gay.

1:34:14 Drew If you have discovered the boundary problems in the relationship with this particular doctor, go to another doctor.

1:34:19 Adam Right.

1:34:19 Drew It's fine.

1:34:20 Adam That's right.

1:34:21 Drew Plan Parenthood. Go to Plan Parenthood. If you're at a school, the school has tons of health services for you.

1:34:26 Adam College, that is. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:34:30 Caller All right, guys.

1:34:31 Caller Here's the deal. You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person.

1:34:35 Caller One call is all you need to make.

1:34:36 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:34:37 Caller 877-889-DATE.

1:34:49 Adam Well, that's it, everyone. Thank you for tuning in to the best of Love Line. Big show coming up tomorrow night. Oh, man. You kidding? Jason Bateman, Andy Dick is going to be in here. Oh, and the celebrities just keep coming. So we'll take ourselves a little extendo break. And until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:35:09 Caller This has been Love Line. Love Line.

1:35:24 Adam Love Line is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

Episode Feedback

Tuesday, March 29, 2005