Episode 1000702565094

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:07 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:13 Voiceover This is Loveline.

1:17 Voiceover With Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:20 Adam Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. Or more fittingly, the best of Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Forget about that phone number. You don't need it.

1:29 Drew Where are you tonight?

1:30 Adam I'm at home.

1:32 Drew In your bunker?

1:33 Adam Yes. I locked myself in my vault and I'm having at myself. Drew, where are you?

1:40 Drew Quite a thought. I'm in Manzanillo, Mexico.

1:42 Adam Really?

1:43 Yeah.

1:43 Drew In one of those compounds.

1:45 Adam Nice.

1:45 Yeah.

1:46 Drew Somebody sent us down there.

1:47 Adam Wow. All right. Well, I hope you get back.

1:50 Drew Thanks. I hope I do too.

1:51 Adam Are you back yet?

1:53 Drew No.

1:53 Adam Okay. You're still there now?

1:54 Drew Yeah, yeah. Right now.

1:55 Adam Okay. Right this second.

1:57 Drew Yeah.

1:58 Adam All right.

1:58 Drew When they hear this, I will be.

1:59 Adam Well, you're freaking me out, dude. Our first guest tonight is a band that has won many awards. I've seen on many shows. And every time I see him, I think to myself, were they on this show before? And then I think, yes, yes. Through the magic of tape, they were and are. And please enjoy Maroon 5. Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Adam and James here tonight from Maroon 5. Songs About Jane. Name of the CD. We'll hear something else off of the CD in this 11 o'clock hour. And until then, we'll get back to phones. We'll speak to Ramon, who is 22.

2:48 Ramon?

2:49 Hello.

2:50 Adam Ramon here. What's happening?

2:53 Oh man, I got issues, my man.

2:55 Adam Great. What's up?

2:56 All right. Well, let me just lay down the big question first. The question is, I'd like to know if a girl can have multiple orgasms and the sex not be good. And what this question and the story behind it.

3:12 Drew Well, what do you mean by multiple orgasm?

3:13 More than one. She got off more than one time in the sequence of intercourse.

3:17 Drew Okay. But it was one, but it wasn't the pow pow pow pow one.

3:20 I'm sorry. What's that?

3:21 Drew Some women have these.

3:21 Adam Were they spread out or was it rapid fire?

3:24 Drew Spread out.

3:24 Spread out.

3:25 Drew Got it.

3:26 And here's the story. This is my girlfriend.

3:28 Adam Well, hold on. Let's answer. Let's see if we can address that question first off. All right. Now, first off, I think if you get the pow pow pow one, you could get a nutty broad who doesn't really enjoy it. It's just f'ed up enough to sort of have every time. Or. Every time you get in a bedroom, it's like a car accident. Right.

3:46 Drew Yeah. There's some crazy screaming. And well, they go off like Robin Candles, no matter what. Yeah.

3:50 Adam But their dad could be touching them. And the same thing would happen.

3:55 Right. They can get off of the magazine if they wanted to.

3:58 Right.

3:58 Adam But the setups. And then. But then. No, but that's that nutty thing.

4:02 Yeah.

4:03 Drew Yeah.

4:03 Adam And then. But if you space them out, it means you're not quite as nutty, right?

4:08 Drew It means you can have orgasm relatively easily.

4:11 Adam Yeah. So that woman, I would believe more to be enjoying the experience.

4:16 Drew Yes. I would agree.

4:17 Adam We would all agree on that?

4:18 Yes.

4:18 Drew I would agree.

4:18 Adam Right. So so far we think she's enjoying it, but keep going. Right.

4:22 That's what I was pretty sure of personally. All right. So the problem with this story is that this is my girlfriend and we started having sex and I get her to orgasm. But unfortunately for me, before we got serious, she had told me about this incident she had with this one military guy about six months ago. She told me how he was ugly and how it meant nothing and how it hurt her feelings afterwards because the guy just wanted to bang and he was kind of a jerk. But now that we're together in serious, I'm thinking back, well, wait a minute, maybe this guy wasn't so bad in the sack.

4:58 Drew And now I'm starting to start, you start mining evidence.

5:01 Adam Yeah, well, what does that mean?

5:03 Drew You started looking for information?

5:05 Yeah, I was, but at the time I didn't know that I was going to get involved that seriously, so I was just kind of joking with her like, so come on, well, was he a stud or did you guys try this? Did you guys try that? And then later on we got serious and it all comes back at my face and I'm like, well, actually if I get you off and you say that this guy was a jerk and he was no good, but did you get at least finished? And then from there she's like, well, yeah. Yeah.

5:34 Adam Then what about the part where he's hung like a black rhino?

5:37 Yeah, yeah. Well, she's, you know, girls aim to please. I mean, she says that that's not the case.

5:43 Adam Oh, really? So listen, if you're going to believe her on the, if she's going to tell the truth on the hurtful things, then believe her when she says he's got a small pack. You know what I'm saying?

5:55 At least for my own pride, right?

5:57 Adam No, no, no, no. Here's what I'm saying. Women usually, once they're telling the truth, they're just telling it. Here's the reality. Women aren't really smart enough to lie effectively. They're just, they're just not. Once in a while you get one of these crazy real estate women who wears too much eyeshadow, can lie her ass off constantly. But that's, they're in their 50s. Like 21 year old chicks really have difficulty lying. They're just, they're not good at it. And if they're gonna, if they're gonna tell you the truth about Sergeant Slaughter, they would tell you the truth about what was between his legs. That's it.

6:28 Drew So this whole thing, I still think they might.

6:30 Adam Ramon is turning everything. It's like, well, if it's an ugly truth, he believes it. If it's something that would be flattering, he doesn't believe it.

6:38 Drew But whatever, though, doesn't help him with his dilemma.

6:42 Adam I don't even know what his dilemma is.

6:43 Drew His dilemma is, this is like primitive man. We're talking to primitive man, at least the primitive side of Ramon. And that is another man has touched my territory and caused it to experience things that I'm not able to get her to experience.

6:56 You're a wise man, Drew. I know that.

6:57 Drew Therefore, I'm beside myself with frustration and I'm not as good, I'm not up to that. My phallus is not magical. My phallus is not up to the job. My truth.

7:04 Adam This is not about your pecker. Let's focus on the collar, okay? And we'll talk about your schvanz off the air, Drew.

7:12 Well, let me add this. Let me add this.

7:15 Adam It's become a forum for your penis talk, Drew. That's enough.

7:18 Drew That's what Ramon's up against.

7:19 Adam I know, but Ramon said that he's given her multiple orgasms. Yeah, but he can't do that.

7:24 Drew No, no, he's given her one. He's given her one? He's bringing her orgasm, but this guy brought her to have an extraordinary experience.

7:29 That changes everything.

7:30 Adam Well, hold on a second. Drew, stop reading the screen because he didn't say that.

7:34 Is that true?

7:35 What's that?

7:36 Is that true? That you can only give her one orgasm?

7:40 Supposedly, I give her multiple orgasms.

7:42 Drew Oh, okay.

7:42 No, so it's different.

7:43 Adam Drew, just stop being wrong, would you?

7:45 Drew Well, so what's the problem with this other guy?

7:47 Adam I don't know. I'm hanging up ten times on Ramon for wasting our time. One hang up. You know in the mafia movies when they keep pumping the bullets into the guy, he's clearly dead, but they just finished a clip. That's what I did with my hang up on that.

8:01 Well, no, maybe Ramon's orgasms that he was giving her weren't as good as Sgt. Slawdust.

8:05 Drew That's what he's saying. That's what he's saying.

8:06 He's going to worry about that. He's going to drive himself crazy and he's going to end up being up there anyway.

8:09 Drew He's a primitive man.

8:10 Adam How can he quantify what's as good? He's giving her multiple orgasms.

8:14 She's also with him now.

8:15 Drew I don't think he is.

8:16 And whatever.

8:16 Drew He's sort of alluding to it being maybe one.

8:19 Adam He said he's giving her multiple orgasms.

8:21 He just wanted to get on the air and tell everybody to give his girlfriend multiple orgasms.

8:24 Adam Yeah, Drew, right now everyone thinks you're wrong. They want them to know you're wrong.

8:27 Drew I don't care.

8:29 Adam Ramon. I don't see. You know, everyone that calls a show, they're like a loose tooth that hurts and I can't stop flicking with my tongue. I can't stop it. I can't help it. I know it's wrong, Ramon.

8:40 Yeah.

8:41 Adam I don't understand. You're giving her orgasms, yes or no?

8:45 Yeah.

8:45 Adam And you're giving her multiple orgasms?

8:48 Well, I used to give her multiple orgasms, but now she insists on waiting and just having one big one.

8:54 Adam Okay, so you give her one big orgasm. You're way ahead of the game. And the big problem is, is that another guy was with her before you?

9:01 And I gave her, and she said the sex wasn't that good, but she got off multiple times. And so I'm conflicted on how she can say that. And it's still not be that good.

9:09 Adam All right, but listen, here's the thing, everybody. First off, don't do the orgasm math with the ladies. The ladies are so screwed up, they have sex dreams where the people don't have faces.

9:18 Drew That's right.

9:19 That's right.

9:20 Adam We know exactly who, we have dreams so we can get to people we can't get to normally. You guys have dreams, you're looking at a blank Etch A Sketch for a head.

9:27 Drew It might have been a person.

9:29 Adam Yeah, it's like, who was on? Who was it? Brad Pitt in his gladiator outfit? No, he had no face.

9:35 What?

9:36 Adam It was erotic. No face? Yeah, I don't know who it was, but it was very...

9:41 Drew What did he look like? I don't know.

9:42 Adam I don't know. He was the amalgamation of all men. Shut up. I'm banging chicks I know at the office and stuff. Like that's why we do it. Imagine no head. Besides, how are you going to get oral if they got no face? Can it be oral?

9:56 No, it's like the Pink Floyd, you know, like the wall, you know, those people.

9:59 Adam Yeah. That's what they look like.

10:01 Yeah.

10:01 I still have, you know, mouse.

10:03 Adam Okay. All right. They got a mouse.

10:06 Drew They're not even clear that they're people.

10:07 Adam It was like...

10:09 Drew It was a presence.

10:10 Adam The presence went down on her in her sleep. Oh, please.

10:14 Drew Don't sort this out.

10:16 Adam Ramon's 22. He's got a lot of energy. Got a lot of energy.

10:20 Drew So his thing was, how could she possibly be having a bad sexual experience with multiple orgasms? Well, not all orgasms are the same though, right? I know. That's what he's saying. The orgasm math with women is very, very...

10:30 Adam Don't break it down.

10:31 Drew It's not logical.

10:33 Adam No, you know what it's like? It's like when you, you know, when I gamble on football, I'm like, well, the Ravens, they killed the Browns last time. They played and the... And now... And this team beat the Ravens. So they're going to destroy the Browns and the Browns win. You can't do the math.

10:47 Can I say one thing? I think I can clear this up really easily. I've had sex with my girlfriend and we've had multiple orgasms and then we've had sex and she's had one big orgasm and that was better sex than the sex one.

10:58 Adam Oh really?

10:58 She had multiple orgasms. Yeah, it happens. I think that you can't really gauge the different varieties of sex and how good it is. So I think you're fine, man. Don't even worry about it.

11:06 Adam Yeah, he's just obsessing over guys that got there before. He did and that's what you do when you're 22.

11:11 Drew Yeah, it's a primitive man.

11:12 Adam Jamie?

11:13 Yes?

11:14 Adam You're 23?

11:16 Caller Yes.

11:16 I have a problem with my mom.

11:20 Caller I've had problems ever since I was really small. Like, since my parents got divorced and, like, I recently discovered that she, this whole time, is addicted to painkillers.

11:28 Drew What do you mean by this whole time?

11:31 Caller Well, like, basically since I was, like, 14, I've known that she was weird. I just didn't ever know, like, why, because she would act very strange and she would get really antagonistic and mean. And so, I mean, I've been going through this my whole life thinking that, like, maybe she was, like, schizophrenic. I mean, I never knew until I talked to my aunt, like, a week ago. And so, here she's addicted to painkillers. She's been institutionalized twice to try to get off of them. And so, my whole family is pretty much like, okay, we're done, like, we're going to do the tough love thing. So, I'm kind of all alone trying to figure out, like, what to do.

12:06 Drew Why are you all alone? Your family's unified in the... You've got to be part of that front. You've got to be part of that leverage that gets her better or else she's going to die of this disease eventually.

12:18 So, what should I do? I mean, should I...

12:20 Drew You stay with the rest of your family. You follow... everyone stays together. You must have a completely unified front. Do you have to live together? No, no, just so you don't... Nobody... any... whatever position one person takes, everyone must take the same position. And whatever that position is, you should be checking with... you should be going to Al-Anon, checking with a sponsor.

12:37 Caller So, I have to do the tough love thing, too?

12:39 Adam Would you listen to Drew, screwball?

12:42 Drew Please. Your mother's going to...

12:43 Adam Jesus Christ. Well, put the phone up, tied her to your ear.

12:46 Drew Your mother's going... will eventually have serious problems in this condition. The only thing that can leverage somebody into treatment is loss and the encouragement of people that she cares about. And if you continue to cave in to her, whatever her demands are, whatever her manipulations are, you're participating in the problem. And you're adding to the... you're moving her towards eventual fatality, really.

13:09 Adam And she's not in any program right now?

13:12 Caller No, absolutely not. She's like pretty much antisocial, you know.

13:17 Drew You must go to Al-Anon, you must get a sponsor, you must work the steps. Without that, you're not going to be able to withstand this. You've been the pawn of her disease since you were a young child. That's really who you are now, is this sort of the object of manipulation that is the product of her disease. And the only way you can step out of this is if you have support of other people.

13:36 Adam Where does she get her drugs, by the way? Like, hey, you know, 50 year old woman, how do you score?

13:40 Caller Three different doctors.

13:42 Adam Really?

13:43 Caller She has three different doctors. She's, yeah, it's very bad.

13:46 Adam Easy. I work with a doctor. I can barely get any ambient. Which reminds me, Drew, I got a score. Come on, buddy. You got any samples in the car?

13:54 Drew No.

13:55 Caller Dr. Drew, do you think that I should just move out and get her help that way?

13:59 Drew You go to out, listen.

14:01 Adam You're living with her?

14:02 Caller Oh yeah, I'm moving out. I'm transferring soon to school. So, I mean, I'm moving out soon. I just didn't want to leave her all alone to like rot, you know?

14:09 Adam Yeah. Well, that's her decision.

14:12 Drew The problem is, you staying there is guarantees maintaining her disease.

14:15 Adam Well, let's put it this way. She's got 10 years of this under her belt.

14:20 Drew Yeah, and she's managed to maintain it because you've been there, you're the family that's been there to support her and catch her when she falls. You've got to go to Al-Anon, you've got to get a sponsor. That is the only solution.

14:28 Right.

14:29 Drew You can get a therapist if you want, but you can go immediately to Al-Anon.

14:32 Adam My family was the same way, by the way.

14:34 It's just tough love, you know?

14:36 Adam Except for no one was on drugs. There was this way toward college and that kind of stuff.

14:40 Drew I thought it was no love in your family.

14:42 Adam Yeah, it was a little.

14:43 Drew It was a little love.

14:44 Adam Just, you know, you can't enable.

14:47 You know what I'm saying?

14:48 Drew Right.

14:48 Adam You start paying for college, and you've got a troublemaker. Kid sits around, comes like a cat just waiting by the back porch wanting some free milk.

14:58 You know what I'm saying?

14:59 Adam Drew, do not enable your kids by paying for their college. They've got to learn to pick themselves up by their own thong back. I like that modified because I don't think people wear boots anymore with straps.

15:10 Drew You're right.

15:10 Adam They don't. There's no boot straps.

15:11 Drew But everyone wears a thong.

15:12 Adam That was like Civil War, but people still wear underpants and thongs. You know what I mean? Or say by your own Nikes or something. I think a lot of these things, I think like a new broom sweeps clean and picked up by your own boot straps and, you know, stitching time and burning the hand. They need revisions. You gotta work on that, Drew, because you don't hear kids dropping these things anymore. And a lot of them just, they're antiquated. Old timey. Yeah, they're old timey. They remind the kids of old people and that scares them. So they don't have any. You know what I mean? They say stuff like duh and no ass. And whatever happened to no ass Sherlock? I said it was a good one. Did you guys have that one? You know what I mean?

15:57 Caller Absolutely not.

15:58 Caller I had no idea what you were talking about.

16:00 Caller I never heard that ever.

16:01 Adam Well, you gotta take the word ass.

16:02 Caller No ass Sherlock?

16:03 Drew Well, like your Sherlock Holmes.

16:05 Adam Yeah. You gotta take the word ass.

16:08 Drew No ass smart guy.

16:09 Adam Well, hold on, Drew. First, you gotta just make sure the S.

16:12 Drew Yes.

16:12 Adam You understand. You gotta say the entire word in your.

16:16 Drew The alliteration there.

16:17 Caller The sh. I know some old timey ones and I never heard that before.

16:20 Adam Well, that one's medium time. That's not old time.

16:22 Drew Yeah, it's like ten years old maybe.

16:23 Adam You don't know? No? Chris, you know no ass?

16:26 Drew Hold on.

16:27 Adam Drew, what's going on?

16:28 Drew I can't believe that's weird.

16:29 Lauren?

16:29 Caller I've never heard it, ever.

16:30 Drew Anybody know the rest?

16:31 Really?

16:32 Drew No sh Sherlock.

16:36 Caller Oh, yeah, of course I have. I'm sorry.

16:37 Yeah, yeah, okay.

16:38 Adam See, the ass was screwing you.

16:39 Caller I was not paying it yet. I was like, what are you talking about? Yeah, I'm sorry. Of course I've heard it. I know the radio thing.

16:44 Drew I'm sorry. I might just do it.

16:45 Caller Of course I've heard that.

16:46 Adam All right, thank you. Now, what about you?

16:49 Caller I don't know what that was.

16:50 Adam Chris, when is the tunnel going to be completed so you can get to your house without actually going outdoors?

16:55 Caller I was checked out for a minute, so I apologize.

16:58 Adam I knew you guys knew the S. I also knew that us assuming you knew the S didn't sound right.

17:04 Caller It sounded like its own thing. I really did have its own little ring to it.

17:08 Adam Well, I'll tell you what makes it easier. Replace, let's take the S and just take the word sheet, like a sheet on the bed. That's better. I would have got that. I can say that Anderson, right? No? Like a laundry sheet, like a fitted sheet.

17:24 Drew No fitted sheet, Sherlock.

17:27 Adam No sheet, Sherlock, and then you know what we're talking about. Yeah, totally. There we go. Chris, still? No. Oh, now? No. He's got nothing. 27 lives at home.

17:35 Drew He's thinking about the tunnel.

17:36 Adam $10 an hour, everybody.

17:37 Caller That was actually popular when we were little kids. Good.

17:41 Drew How did you know about the tunnel?

17:43 Adam The tunnel?

17:43 Drew Did you tell him?

17:44 Adam Yeah. I know he doesn't want to see the outside. He doesn't want to experience any outside world. So he's digging a tunnel to his mom's side. Now, does your mom have a basement you can tunnel into or do you got to go up through the subfloor?

17:55 Caller No, no, no basement.

17:56 Adam All right. 27 living at home, everybody.

17:58 Drew Thank you.

17:59 Adam When are you moving out?

18:01 Drew When you give me money.

18:02 Adam All right. I'll give you $5 to move out.

18:04 Drew Now, his mom needs him, remember?

18:06 Adam That's right. She needs him to fill the hand. You're 22?

18:11 Caller Yes.

18:11 Adam What's up?

18:14 Caller I'm sharing my boyfriend with another guy. I don't know if you're doing what? Sharing my boyfriend with another guy.

18:22 Adam Sharing?

18:23 Caller Sharing, I guess you could say that. Well, let me first explain. I'm in the beginning of a relationship. I've been dating this guy for about a year and a half.

18:34 Adam All right, hold on a second. Her phone line is horrible. And she's pretty bad. It's hard to tell who's worse.

18:41 Drew The phone or her.

18:42 Adam Yeah. All right, so April, here's where you're gonna need you to do. Do you have a better phone you could get on? Do you have a landline you could get on? Everyone, and by the way, here's the deal with this show. Your best phone should be used when you call this show.

18:55 Drew It can't be a portable phone.

18:56 Adam Pretend you're going to a funeral or a wedding. You know, one of those guys has one long-sleeve shirt. This is the time to put it on. I like the guy, by the way, at the funeral or the wedding who's wearing the V-neck, velour shirt, short sleeve, but it's the best he's got. And you think to yourself, not one long one in the closet, huh? Nothing? Not just, you know, it's a good white trash move, the nice sweater. Got a nice V-neck sweater will be, that's like the funeral and wedding attire. Yeah.

19:29 Drew It's not a sweater.

19:30 It's supposed to be me.

19:31 Adam All right, I'm gonna try April one more time. April?

19:34 Caller Yes.

19:36 Drew A little better.

19:37 Adam A little better.

19:39 Drew Okay, so you've got a bisexual boyfriend.

19:41 Caller Yes. In the beginning of the relationship, he told me that he was bisexual. I accepted it. I was actually fine with it. I have no problem with it.

19:53 Adam Yeah, you should.

19:53 Caller I kind of opened him up to be more of himself.

19:58 Drew What the hell does that mean? What the hell does that mean?

20:02 Adam Well, I'm thinking cheek spreader when I hear opened up the bisexual guy.

20:06 Caller No, no, no. I let him, I guess, go into the side of, that he wanted to go into.

20:15 Drew Some sort of weird fetish or something?

20:17 Caller He's not going for guys and going on to that side and well, he met his wife.

20:23 Drew So he's saying bye bye to homosexuality basically.

20:26 Adam Yeah, he's gay or he's a disaster.

20:29 Caller No, not exactly.

20:30 Adam Sure, he's a wreck. Yes? Maroon 5 here tonight. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

20:36 Hello, this is your radio.

20:39 Love Line will be ready.

21:04 Adam Yeah, it's the best of Loveline. Adam, that's Dr. Drew. That was Maroon 5. And now we keep on keeping on with a girl who's funny, beautiful, and on occasion gets naked.

21:19 Drew And wrote a best-selling book.

21:20 Adam Drew's angry. Drew doesn't like it when anyone younger or better-looking or dumber than him writes a book.

21:26 Drew No, it gets on the best-selling list.

21:28 Adam Well, they all get on the best-selling list for you, Drew.

21:30 Drew No, no, this was way up there.

21:32 Adam Really?

21:33 Yeah, yeah.

21:34 Adam A vindictive, spiteful Drew.

21:36 Drew I'm happy for her, unhappy for myself.

21:37 Adam Sure. All right. But you know what that turns into? The best version. Yes. Here is Dr. Drew acting nice to Jenny McCarthy. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1. Jenny McCarthy is in studio tonight. Belly Laughs, name of the new book. It's been out for a couple of months. At least I've seen Jenny making the rounds. And Jenny's surprised by how many copies are books old. I think Drew feels the same in a negative way about his book. Surprised, though. Fair. Fair to say. Fair. Fair. Yeah. Fair.

22:16 Well, I'm going to go on Amazon tonight and get yours.

22:18 Adam Go get that book.

22:20 I am.

22:20 Adam It's called. What's it called, Drew? It's called Cracked. And everyone tells me it's great. They absolutely do.

22:27 Drew My buddy's my my buddy's a big supporter. My he's read the book. Oh, no, wait a minute. I'm not a reader. It's been out. It's only been out. Oh, it's been out a year.

22:35 Adam Wait a minute. A whole year. Has it been a year?

22:37 Drew Yeah.

22:37 Adam Because you know my thing. If it hasn't been out five. All the great all the great work, Drew. Hundreds of years old. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. This is those books by.

22:49 Drew That's why you started.

22:50 Adam Yeah, the old like Socrates and those guys all dead. Yeah. Then you got your Shakespeare's. Maybe alive, maybe dead. He's certainly old if he's still alive. The point is, is all the great work, at least a couple of hundred years old. So I'm going to just wait. Five hundred seventy five years.

23:07 Drew Children read my book.

23:08 Adam That's right. They're children. What were we talking about? Yeah, the book. Oh, so I, you know, now who's buying this book? Is it is it pregnant? I mean, here's what I'm saying. OK, here's what I'm saying. There's a sort of myth where, well, you just go out, you go on the Jimmy Kimmel show, you come on Love Line, you do you do some you do the press junket and you sell product. No, it never works. If your movie sucks and no one wants to see it, then it sucks and no one wants to see it. And you see these poor actors and actresses everywhere and nobody sees their movie. And if people decide they want to see the movie, they go out and see it, whether you see the person plugging in on the view or not. Right. So people have decided they want to read this book, obviously, because it's doing so well and you've been out pushing it. But if they didn't want to read it, they wouldn't care if you're writing, especially you, because it's like, oh, that's that chick from the thing, what she know about. So who's buying it? Or do you know? Is it pregnant women?

24:09 Caller Pregnant women.

24:09 Drew It's got to be more than that, though. It's got to be.

24:11 Caller It's also people.

24:13 Drew It's got to be young people thinking about having kids.

24:15 Caller Also, husbands are getting it. Also, women that want to buy a good shower gift.

24:22 Adam I think people are getting it for people.

24:24 Caller Yes, absolutely. Gifts. Huge amounts of gifts. You know, I kind of, when it first came out, I went on Amazon to see. Someone said there's reviews. I thought, oh my God, usually I'm reading horrid things. So I was really praying not to read any. And I was reading them and I was so relieved because there were women that have had three babies and were looking for something new. And there were so many like that that I felt like, oh, so it's not only like women that just want to educate themselves, but something, looking for something different.

24:56 Drew Your writing style is very, very pleasant, very compelling, it's not the right word, it's like it's welcoming, you know what I mean?

25:01 Caller It's easy, it's nice to read. I've always been pretty much approachable.

25:04 Drew And it comes through with the writing.

25:06 Caller And I wanted that, I want to be like, I'm talking to you on the phone.

25:09 Drew Here's a paragraph.

25:10 Adam Read some out loud.

25:11 Drew This is Jenny with the chapter about the apple in the butt, that's what it's called.

25:14 Caller Is that an apple on your rectum? Are you just happy to see me?

25:17 Drew Hemorrhoids.

25:18 Adam Hemorrhoids.

25:18 Drew Yeah, so she's in the waiting room, couldn't stop thinking, is he going to look at my butt?

25:22 Adam In the waiting room.

25:22 Drew In the waiting room with the doctor. I sat waiting, I couldn't stop thinking, is he going to look at my butt? The assistant walked out, shouting, Jenny McCarthy, you're next. Of course, everyone in the waiting room looked up in surprise and knew that they were thinking, you knew they were thinking, Jenny did. Wow, Jenny McCarthy has butt hole problems too.

25:38 Caller But then I was, thank you.

25:40 Adam Drew's going to kill himself, maybe before the show's over. He's writing about her ass, moving product.

25:47 Caller All I knew is I had to write-

25:48 Adam Drew's put his guts out. Drew wrote his book in his own blood and so far only his wife has read it.

25:56 Drew And she didn't finish it.

25:57 Adam She didn't finish it. She started it. If she had had a longer bowel movement, she would have gotten further along. All right. Yeah, what about the hemorrhoids? I hear about that.

26:10 Drew Did you have to get them banded or anything?

26:11 Caller No, they were just, they were obviously worse after delivery, but that's of course not talked about yet. I never had them before in my life and I can't even believe that they exist.

26:23 Drew That's something that disgusting to the human world.

26:26 Caller They're like balloon knots in a way, but just more swollen.

26:31 Drew They do look vegetable-ish.

26:33 Adam How do you get them to, I've never had one myself. I had something I thought was it the ones I was convinced to put preparation and each other for a week.

26:41 Caller Then you continuously get them.

26:43 Adam Oh, really?

26:43 Caller Yes.

26:44 Drew Once you've got them, you got them.

26:45 Adam Right. Oh, bad times.

26:47 Caller Bad, bad, bad times, especially when you're really constipated.

26:51 Drew Your weight's up.

26:54 Adam How do you get those out of there, by the way, those hemorrhoids?

26:57 Drew When you get rid of them?

26:57 Adam Yeah.

26:58 Drew They can band them. They sort of tie them off or they can actually cut them out.

27:01 Adam When they tie them off, what do they do? They cut off the circulation?

27:04 Drew Basically, they are the big veins. You tie the vein off.

27:06 Adam And what's it do? Is it kill it? Basically. It die?

27:08 Drew It shrinks it, yeah.

27:09 Adam It shrinks it. Oh, because it doesn't have a supply?

27:12 Drew Right.

27:12 Caller But what about going through another pregnancy? Would they come out again?

27:15 Drew Oh yeah. But let me tell you something. I don't want to scare you, but I've noticed my patients go for various procedures. The one that seems to trouble them the most is the hemorrhoid procedure. I mean, it is apparently terribly uncomfortable. You don't realize every time you blink, you move your butt.

27:31 Caller Oh, God, you're right. Because I'm moving my butt right now as I'm blinking.

27:34 Caller I did that too.

27:36 Adam It's actually every time I move my butt, I blink. I got hooked up the other direction. It's crazy. There it goes. You guys go that direction because I start and move up. You guys move. Interesting. Garrett?

27:54 Yeah.

27:55 Adam You're 18?

27:56 Caller I am.

27:57 Adam What's happening?

28:00 Caller I actually had a question for Jenny. First of all, how's it going, Jenny?

28:04 Caller It's good. How are you?

28:05 Caller I'm doing great. It's good to talk to you. I've always been a big fan of yours.

28:09 Caller Thank you.

28:11 Caller What my question was, I was just wondering, I don't know if you've ever thought about it. I would assume that at some point throughout your career, you would have. Have you ever thought and has it ever like grossed you out that guys maybe look at your Playboys and think of it intimately and everything?

28:35 Adam Think of it intimately.

28:36 Drew Speaking of Shakespeare, there he is.

28:37 Adam Yeah. Wow.

28:38 Caller People have actually asked me this question before. And I kind of block it out, so to speak. I think if that's all I thought about, I don't think I would do bikini shots.

28:52 Drew You must process it in some other way. We block that out about men normally.

28:57 Adam Yeah, women don't. When they get grossed out, when they think about guys at work doing.

29:01 Caller Do you know what honestly girls think about? Oh, I hope I look skinny. Not, oh, I hope this guy is getting aroused. It's like, God, I hope you can see, you know, my rib cage.

29:12 Drew But that I look skinny is for other girls.

29:14 Caller Right. But that's the most, that's your biggest concern when you're kind of showing it off.

29:18 Drew How other girls.

29:19 Caller Yes. How the guy's girlfriend is going to do you.

29:22 Drew This is, women are so different.

29:24 Yeah.

29:24 Drew How about that?

29:25 Yeah.

29:26 Caller I mean, that's really what I was thinking about.

29:28 Adam Well, they're, they're, I think women realize that women are the competition and this is, this is who they have to compete with.

29:36 Drew Yeah, but the product is not being produced for that effect.

29:40 Adam I know. I know. Very, I know. And this is why, and I finally stopped complaining. I mean, you know, guys, we, we, as guys say to women all the time, look, we don't need the huge humongous boobs.

29:56 Drew Although, you do.

29:57 Adam I do like, yeah. Oh, I would say needs a strong word.

30:00 Drew But must have.

30:01 Adam Must have.

30:01 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

30:02 Adam That's thank you. Yeah. Imperative, I think.

30:08 Drew It's a little bit. Yeah. That's just it.

30:10 Adam Yeah. We'll die with that.

30:11 Drew It's positive.

30:12 Adam That's right. The point is, is there's a whole bunch of stuff that women, that the guys don't want, that women are trying to do. And if such such as be extremely skinny, most guys I know do not want an extremely skinny girl. They're not doing it for the guys. They're doing it for the girls. And it's a little, and we, that doesn't compute with us. Because there's nothing we do that's for the guys. We do it for the girls.

30:40 Drew Period.

30:41 Adam Right. That's the only thing that makes sense. Yeah.

30:43 Drew It's so different.

30:44 Adam Yeah.

30:45 Caller And if I was a guy, I'd probably want a girl with some meat on her bones.

30:48 Drew Yeah. Most, you want, you want, listen, what really we're attracted to as males is things that sort of are associated with fertility. And that's, you know, that's a little bit of size.

30:59 Adam Yeah. The, you know, the thing, like most, most guys, I'll tell you, like one thing, here's one thing women never talk about that guys don't really like. Guys don't like a flat ass.

31:10 Drew No.

31:10 Adam Guys would rather have a sort of bulbous ass than a flat ass. Women are constantly trying to shrink their ass, rightfully so in many cases, but guys, not so concerned with the flat ass or the no ass. Guys like a little meat on the ass and not as obsessed with the big boobs.

31:30 Drew As they think, as women think.

31:32 Adam Women actually could take the boob in the ass and sort of flip it over like I do with my blinking. You know what I mean? My rectum controls my eyelids. Yeah, it's like...

31:41 Drew I've heard you speak of it.

31:43 Adam We don't need the D. Guys don't need the D cup. They need the BC.

31:47 Drew I really want the guys to look for symmetry.

31:49 Adam Yeah, guys don't need the bony, flat ass. They need to just flip it over. Whatever your perception of ass to boob ratio is for most women, get the chick to walk in her hands. That's the reality of what that ratio is. And yes, this is, yes, the flat ass, the bony, it's skinny.

32:07 Drew It looks better for the girls. Where this really goes bad with young people now is that in our age, we were indoctrinated with the idea of men and women same, exactly the same. How they experience themselves in relationships, how they experience themselves sexually, same. And now we've got this whole hookup thing going on where guys are interested in hook up because that's all they want to do, it's all they're interested in. And women sort of trying to keep up with that, trying to understand that. When I go to colleges and I ask women what alternative sort of social structure would work for them, they always say the same thing, which is why I just wish somebody would just sit down and talk to me, which guys cannot, I mean, like, what the hell are you talking, what do you mean? And they've shown now in functional MRI scans of men and women that men's brain light up in a certain pattern when they're looking at pornography, the women's brain lights up in a similar pattern during emotionally significant conversation.

32:55 Caller You're kidding.

32:55 Drew No.

32:56 Caller God, why does that have to be that way?

32:59 Drew It is, but why does it have to be that we can't discuss it realistically? That's what we're, why do you have to say, well, society's done this, no, we're wired now, it's how we're wired. It's fine to be, it's express your sexuality, but to deny how it really sort of works is to create unhappiness.

33:14 Caller Can I ask a question, maybe a little different than what we're talking about, but what age are kids now having sex at?

33:21 Drew Depends on what age.

33:21 Adam Nine. If you listen to the show, it's around 16. It's between eight and nine.

33:24 Caller Is it?

33:25 Drew Yeah, that's right, we're basically doing worse than any other industrialized country. At-risk kids, 14. Oral sex. Yeah. It depends on the population you're looking at.

33:37 Caller Okay.

33:39 Adam Your kid, you shaved five years off of Drew's 16 estimate because he's got good-looking parents, he's-

33:46 Caller Because I was a little more risque at a younger age.

33:49 Drew Oh, I was?

33:50 Caller I was a little bit more risque.

33:52 Adam Well, here's the thing, 16 is probably, well, technically losing your virginity may be around 16. But we're talking to people that think a BJ at 13 is perfectly fine. A lot of them. All night, every night.

34:08 Caller Oh, really?

34:09 Adam Yeah.

34:10 Drew Yeah.

34:10 Adam That's why I got to build a time machine and actually-

34:14 Drew Come back.

34:15 Adam Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to build a time machine, I'm going to go back in the future to 14, then I'm going to move it ahead 10 years from where we are now.

34:24 Drew Yes, it'll be 14 now.

34:25 Adam Transport, not now, ahead to 2014.

34:29 Drew Because you figure it'll be even better.

34:30 Adam It'll be even better. I'll probably get hit with like, Oh, he's got new aids.

34:35 Caller What?

34:36 Adam There'll be some new weirdo wacky disease.

34:38 Drew That'll have this huge conservative trend back towards a thing in the dugout.

34:41 Adam Yeah, they'll be wearing scarlet letters with a big B. It'll be like druids. I'll be wearing a chain and I'll have that bad bang haircut with the greasy bangs. I'll be wearing my sketchier shoes.

34:53 Caller Hey, ladies.

34:54 Adam I never want to be dressed like druids. Oh, and I'll get put like right in the middle of like some sacrificial altar thing. I want Mr. Wizard.

35:04 Caller No.

35:06 Adam Yeah, you're right. That could happen. So I'm going to come back.

35:09 Drew That virtually guarantees it.

35:11 Adam Yeah.

35:11 Drew She pulled this.

35:11 Adam I'll come back at 14 to now and get myself the hummers I never got. You know what I mean?

35:17 Caller I'll come back at 13, I guess, and come back at 13.

35:19 Adam I was thinking about that, but that was a bad year for me. Oh, really? 14 smoother.

35:24 Drew Yeah, so we still smoothed it out.

35:26 Caller I think girls are more risque at a younger age than 16 even.

35:30 Adam Oh, yes.

35:31 Drew Oh, yeah, yeah.

35:31 Caller Because I was like 12 messing around.

35:34 Adam Yeah. You're on my list, by the way, when I come back to work that time machine out.

35:39 Caller Yeah, but then I think about my kids.

35:41 Adam Let's see, you're 12 and like, I got to set the thing. You're 12 and like 87 or something.

35:48 Caller I graduated in 86.

35:49 Drew You're setting the glory in 1982.

35:51 Caller I was about, it was 85.

35:53 Adam 85.

35:53 Drew All right.

35:54 Adam I'm going to set it for, I'll set it for January 86. Play it safe and I'll catch you about 13.

36:00 Caller You know what's scary is there's probably some kids listening going, God, I was born in 1985.

36:07 Adam Oh, holy Christ.

36:09 Drew That's not kids.

36:09 Caller Most.

36:10 Drew Those are our college age kids.

36:11 Caller You're kidding. Think about it. Wow.

36:14 Adam Watch this. We got to take a break. But Dora.

36:17 Caller Hello.

36:18 Adam What year were you born?

36:20 Caller 91.

36:21 Adam All right. Hold on a second.

36:22 Caller I feel better about that.

36:23 Drew 91? Why does that make you feel better?

36:25 Adam Jenny McCarthy's got to kill herself. Drew's got to kill herself. 91.

36:29 Drew Born in 91.

36:30 Caller That's what I was thinking, graduating high school in 91.

36:33 Adam You were tired of sex in 91. You're burnt out.

36:36 Caller I was the first year of college in 91.

36:38 Adam Yeah, burnt out on sex and she wasn't even born yet.

36:41 Drew I was done with medical school. What are you talking about?

36:43 Caller All right.

36:44 Adam Let's take a break. Let's all kill ourselves during the break and then you guys kill yourselves. I'll go to the time machine. Chris, you're going to have to do the show.

36:53 Drew All right. Finally. Finally. He's been waiting.

36:55 Adam Well, Jenny McCarthy here tonight. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

37:08 Drew Hey Adam, you know how guys have trouble with confidence and going out and dating and meeting girls? We have a solution.

37:35 Adam Yeah. Oh yeah. Get it on. Get it on. Freak out. Get it on. Freak out and get it on, everybody. Hell yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah. Hey, everybody, Loveline, man. Is that you? Let's go to phones. Oh, Jeremy on line two has been on hold for...

38:04 Caller Yeesh.

38:05 Adam Yeah. 98 minutes. Let's talk to him. Jeremy?

38:09 Caller Yes.

38:09 Adam You know what I'm glad A-hole guys don't do anymore? What up? What up? Remember that one? Remember that what up?

38:15 Drew There's still a lot of how you doing in New York.

38:17 Adam Yeah, but that what up thing got dropped about five years ago.

38:21 Drew Thankfully, you're right.

38:22 Adam What's up dude?

38:23 Caller Can I say long time first time?

38:25 Adam Yeah.

38:27 Caller Nice.

38:27 Adam What up dude?

38:28 Caller I love you Adam.

38:30 Adam Thanks bruh.

38:33 Caller I've been dating a girl that actually works for me, but we knew each other for five months before we started dating.

38:39 Drew What kind of work?

38:42 Caller I own a pizza shop and she's one of my bitches.

38:47 Adam Yeah.

38:48 Caller Yeah.

38:49 Adam What a, calling from Michigan, known throughout the world for their pizza.

38:54 Drew Oh yeah.

38:54 Adam That's the pizza state Michigan. Look, here's the thing. Let me explain to you a couple of things, Jeremy. I'm not interested in your relationship problems. I do not want you to sell thick crust pizza. That's not right. Don't sell it. Thin crust. It's not pizza. It's not pizza. Yeah. Sourdough bread with ketchup on it. I want thin crust. Do you understand me?

39:15 Caller Does it have to be crispy or?

39:17 Drew No, no, no. Regular crust.

39:19 Adam And in bigs, you taco it. You fold it in half, slide it in your mouth. Don't get burnt by the cheese. All right. Would you do me that favor, please?

39:28 Caller I will.

39:28 Drew So Jeremy, you own the shop. Is this girl a girl? Is she underage?

39:34 Caller Yeah, she's 17.

39:36 Drew All right. So are you looking to go to jail or what are you doing here?

39:40 Caller Her dad's great with it.

39:42 Adam Her dad's great with it.

39:43 Drew Things better not go south. He won't be so great with it.

39:48 Adam He's getting the free.

39:50 Drew He may own the shop. Potentially sexual harassment.

39:53 Adam He's deep in pezones.

39:54 Drew And potential rape.

39:58 Adam I don't know what statutory laws are in Michigan. Drew's going to look it up.

40:04 Caller I think it's 16 or...

40:07 Adam Well look, here's the thing, Jeremy. You're 26. Who died and left you that pizza shack?

40:14 Caller My uncle helped me out.

40:16 Adam Okay. Shocking. How did I know that?

40:19 Caller Small business.

40:21 Adam Right. You should not be dating an employee A number one, but a 17 year old B number two. You're 26. You're a nice 24 year old.

40:31 Caller There was a lot of spark though.

40:33 Adam There was a lot of spark where?

40:34 Drew It is 16.

40:35 Caller All right.

40:35 Adam You're cool. There's not a lot of spark where?

40:38 Caller There was a lot of spark between us.

40:40 Drew All right.

40:41 Adam Well, okay. You're having sex, right?

40:45 Caller Here and there, yeah.

40:46 Adam Here and there?

40:47 Drew And it's sexual harassment too.

40:48 Adam Here and there means in the kitchen and in the bathroom.

40:51 Caller No.

40:52 Adam All right.

40:53 Caller All right.

40:53 Adam Look, are you serious about her?

40:56 Caller Yeah. She's the best person I've ever found in my life. All right.

41:02 Adam Hang up on him, Anderson. Well, then fine. She's legal. And I couldn't figure out what Jeremy was up to. I don't know if it was bogus or he's just an a-hole or-

41:12 Drew I think he's just an a-hole.

41:13 Adam Well, not an intentional a-hole, just one of those dude guys.

41:16 Drew Right.

41:18 Adam So-

41:18 Drew That's how you know he shouldn't own the pizza shop on his own merit.

41:21 Adam Yeah. Nothing worse than a guy with an entrepreneurial spirit. So here's the thing. It's legal. Her dad's cool with it. Fine. Spiritually, not the world's greatest move. On the other hand, hey, if you're in love and you're treating her right, so be it.

41:38 Drew Then she needs to not be your employee anymore because with that power imbalance, you're gonna get your ass in a sling.

41:42 Adam Yeah. She needs to go over to like Papa John's or maybe Little Caesar's. And by the way, let me just say this about pizza places and then anybody who sells a product. You don't make me want your product more when you offer like eight more of your product. You know what I mean? Like Little Caesar do that. Get any medium with three toppings for $2 and get five more mediums with eight toppings. It's like, did they do that with Mercedes? You know what I mean? Like I bought a Wonder Mop off the TV years ago. And it's like, hey, act now. We'll throw in another one. Well, then I'm paying twice as much. It seems like you shouldn't be able to do that. Yeah. First off, how many, what do I need? A mop for the car?

42:26 Drew Right.

42:27 Adam I like to keep mopping the glove box.

42:29 Drew They know you have all those houses.

42:31 Adam Homes, Drew.

42:31 Drew Homes.

42:32 Adam Yes, I own multiple homes.

42:34 Drew The states.

42:35 Adam I just think, I just think I'd like to pay $12 for the one pizza. And when you throw in the second one, it makes me question the integrity of the first one.

42:44 Drew I'm with you.

42:44 Adam Yes?

42:45 Drew Yes.

42:45 Adam And here's how pizza should be, kiddies. Let me just explain this first off. It needs to be thin crust.

42:51 Drew Of course.

42:51 Adam Not that horrible doughy crust. You know who likes thick crust pizza?

42:55 Drew Retarded people.

42:56 Adam And kids. Kids love that doughy, they just, oh, it's all, it's all starchy and carby and doughy. Thin crust pizza is pizza, everybody. Now, don't argue with me on going to Chicago and getting some beautiful deep dish pizza. You're the same a-holes who argue with the cake and the pie, where I go, look, if you're going to order, if you're going to order something, order a pie. It's a much safer bet, much better than cake. Well, if you go down to Fairfax and you go to, there's a Benish Bakery call over there, and for $172 in your right toe, they have a German chocolate. Okay, yeah, okay, that cake's good. You're not getting that cake. So shut up.

43:37 Drew You're getting the sheet cake.

43:38 Adam Yeah, no sheet. If you're going to go and talk about Chicago deep dish pizza, fine, that's great pizza. I've had it. It's a good time. That ain't what, that's not what's showing up. What's showing up is the in between the deep dish and the thin, the sort of medium to thick. It's about five eighths of an inch thick, maybe three quarters and it sucks. Get the thin crust. All right, let's talk toppings now, Drew. What do you like on there?

44:03 Drew Mushrooms.

44:04 Adam Mushroom.

44:05 Drew Pepperoni.

44:06 Adam Pepperoni. Interesting. Interesting. Let me say, let me say this about pepperoni. And I'm turning the corner a little bit. And I want, you know, I want people to know I'm fair minded. I'm not one of these guys who clings like a pit bull to one of my points. I claimed a few years back that people order too much pepperoni. My theory.

44:26 Drew They're better toppings.

44:28 Adam Yes. Here's my theory. I have a lot of argument from the Kimmel staff, by the way. These are guys who enjoy arguing, by the way.

44:35 Drew Evidently.

44:36 Adam These are like 35-year-old guys who just love to argue about everything. Red Sox fans. Mostly. Okay. Here's the thing. I say that people throw a party. It's like, oh, I'm having a bunch of guys over, gonna play some cards.

44:47 Drew Cheese and pepperoni.

44:48 Adam I'm going five cheese and five pepperoni. And I'm always like, why don't you get a mushroom? Get a pepperoni. Get two pepperoni. But then get a mushroom, get a black olive, spread it around a little bit.

44:59 Drew Mushroom and olive is good together.

45:00 Adam Mushroom and olive is good together. Get. I'm killing. The show's over, by the way.

45:05 Drew We got two minutes on pizza here. Relax.

45:07 Adam It's over. I got at least ten minutes of pizza talk.

45:10 Drew I like John on five, though. He's good.

45:11 Adam The other screw, John. Here's the other thing. Knowing it's a nice one. Sausage and onion.

45:17 Drew Yeah, that's a little rough on the rough on the ass.

45:20 Adam All I'm saying is this. All I'm saying is, is don't go five pepperoni, five.

45:25 Drew Nothing against the pepperoni.

45:27 Adam That, I take a lot of service for enjoying that every once in a while. That's not a not a purest pizza, but a good pizza.

45:34 Drew You get a hankering for that mushroom and that's just got to have.

45:37 Adam Alright, so you're with me. Pepperoni good, but you don't need five. Way overdone. I believe that this country eats like each each person eats 70 pounds of extra pepperoni that they didn't really want every year.

45:52 Drew Oh, every year?

45:52 Adam No, every year. You look at you got your choice and see you got your choice between the cheese and the pepperoni and you're like that'd be nice that an olive. Just eat the pepperoni. Yeah, you're right. What it got on you? Here's the question.

46:05 Drew We got our pizza now.

46:06 Adam Here's the question. Would you order a pepperoni if you're just having a pizza sent to your house? Just for you.

46:14 Drew For me?

46:14 Adam Just for you.

46:15 Drew Not if I give it a thought. You might reflexively order it, but if I thought for a second, wait a minute.

46:21 Adam What do you want? You're ordering a pizza. That's right. Good man.

46:24 Who cares?

46:25 Caller Good man.

46:27 Adam Good boy.

46:27 Drew But I'm so used to buying cheese and pepperoni for my kids.

46:29 Adam We do for your kids.

46:30 Drew Yeah.

46:30 Adam Don't get them going on that. And by the way, we're not kids.

46:33 Drew Yeah, you're right.

46:34 Adam We're adults with evolved tastes. We want pineapple.

46:37 Drew On our pizza.

46:39 Adam And Canadian bacon. And cheese injected into the crust. That's what I like to say. We take crust. We've now put cheese on top of the pizza, in the pizza, in the back crust. We're now actually going to inject it into your rectally. We're actually this is called the rectal bomb. You sit on this and you actually ingest cheese rectally while you shove cheese in your face.

47:01 Caller All right.

47:01 Drew Let's use Bob.

47:02 Adam We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

47:07 Drew All right, guys.

47:07 Caller Here's the deal. You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person? One call is all you need to make. Call the Dateline.

47:14 Drew 877-889-DATE.

47:17 Caller Call the Dateline.

47:47 Adam Hey, everybody, it's the Loveline. Not just the Loveline, but the best of Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. I was gonna give the phone number out, but forget that. Sean Farris is here from Life As We Know It, and guess who called in on the phone and sounded a little bit drunk?

48:05 Drew Ava Longoria.

48:06 Adam Yeah, certainly horny.

48:07 Drew Certainly.

48:08 Adam Certainly horny. I think she had a thing for Sean.

48:11 Drew Seemed like it.

48:12 Adam Although I don't hear anything about it. I see her all over the tabloids, and they all over the entertainment tonight and everything. But it's nothing about poor Sean.

48:20 Drew Yeah. Well, maybe he got some that night.

48:22 Adam Got some that night. Here's Ava Longoria and Sean Ferris. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam.

48:29 Caller That's Dr. Drew.

48:31 Adam Sean Ferris is here tonight. Ava Longoria is on the phone, by the way. She's called back in, of course, from the runaway hit Desperate Housewives. Friend of Sean Ferris. I don't know how they know each other, Drew, but we're going to find out. Ava?

48:46 Hi.

48:47 Adam Hey.

48:48 Best Of Hey, darling, how you doing? You've been out, hanging out. You've been having a good time.

48:54 Best Of Yeah, I've been listening to you as I've been on hold five times.

49:00 Best Of How could you guys do that? I told you she was calling.

49:02 Adam I was looking for Ava. How do you know Sean?

49:08 Best Of Sean and I met because of ABC, because we both have shows on ABC.

49:15 Best Of They're curious about The Love Triangle.

49:16 Drew They saw each other on ABC.

49:18 Best Of They want to hear something crazy.

49:19 Adam Yeah, Kimmel's on ABC. But you ain't hanging with him.

49:24 Best Of We met at the upfront in New York when they announced all the shows.

49:28 Adam There we go.

49:29 Best Of Booze, booze, and more booze.

49:31 Best Of I'm from Texas, so anybody from Texas, we immediately...

49:37 Best Of You just get along. It's just not a medic thing.

49:40 Drew Either of you say y'all, though.

49:42 Best Of Well, it's a couple years separated from Texas, you know.

49:45 Adam Now, Eva, you live out in Los Angeles, right?

49:47 Best Of I do.

49:48 Adam And now, are you currently filming Desperate Housewives or shooting Desperate Housewives?

49:54 Best Of Yep, right, yep, as we speak.

49:57 Adam And what do you guys, are you doing season three now, or are you working on two?

50:04 Best Of Well, we're not even finished season one. We're not even halfway done. We actually, no, we just finished Episode 14, and Episode 10 has aired.

50:14 Best Of How many are you doing this year?

50:16 Best Of Not good.

50:17 Best Of How many are you doing this year? How many episodes?

50:18 Best Of We're doing 23.

50:21 Adam Wow, that's a big order.

50:21 Best Of Lots of love, lots of love.

50:22 Adam That's awesome. An amazing success that show has had.

50:26 Caller Thank you.

50:28 Best Of I mean, I give all the credit to Eva myself.

50:30 Adam I do too. She's called in. But I mean, you couldn't have. I mean, I'm sure you figured out a good cast and a good script and everything, but the kind of success that the show has had. I mean, I would think each year one show, sort of you have to say this is the number one show of the year.

50:46 Drew I can't imagine you'd go into any show thinking this is going to be the one. No.

50:51 Adam Impossible.

50:52 Best Of You know, you hope for, as an actor there's so many obstacles you have to overcome. Like first getting a pilot and then the pilot getting picked up, and then the pilot hopefully finding an audience on the right night, on the right time. And there's so many factors that go into it. So you just hope that you're going to have a job.

51:10 Adam The attrition rate is incredible. Like your greatest fear, you want to get picked up for season two. Forget about number one. How about top 70? You know?

51:18 Best Of Right, right.

51:18 Best Of Exactly.

51:19 Best Of They're not going to have any problem with that though.

51:21 Caller No, no.

51:23 Best Of John, when we were premiering, John was like, dude, can you leave a little bit of budget for us with all the billboards and all the promotions that they did for it?

51:32 Adam Oh, yeah.

51:32 Best Of They had promotions on the hangers that you get whenever you get your dry cleaning.

51:37 Adam Yeah, it's crazy.

51:38 Best Of I mean, for every 100 units of promotion the Desperate Housewives and Lost got, we got two.

51:44 Adam Yeah, well, I guess the Lost worked out OK, too. Yeah, that's really good.

51:48 Best Of I love Shawnee Show. Shawnee Show is a really good show.

51:50 Adam It's a nice, it's a cute little show. It's, you know, it's no Lost. It's no Desperate Housewives.

51:55 Best Of Come on, man. Give some love. I'm sitting right across from you.

51:58 Adam It's a cute little show.

51:59 Best Of It's cute.

51:59 Adam It's OK if you like that kind of show. But it's not, you know, it's not Desperate Housewives. I mean, you couldn't advertise it on a wire hanger or anything.

52:07 Drew Our radio affiliates are getting behind it, though.

52:10 Adam Hey, hey, Eva, you should come do this show.

52:14 Best Of Oh, right now.

52:16 Drew Ah, there you go.

52:18 Adam She's right back at you right now. But you should you should haul your very tight fanny in here and do the show in person one of these nights.

52:26 Best Of Yeah, I should. I should.

52:28 Drew Yeah, not going to.

52:29 Adam I know you're not going to. Listen, if you hurry up, some of Sean Stink will still be on the stool.

52:35 Best Of So I got to talk to Sean tonight when he gets home tonight. And I'm going to ask him if how his experience was and if he says it was good.

52:43 Drew Very clever woman this evening.

52:44 Adam Smart.

52:44 Drew Treat my friend right. Treat my friend right.

52:46 Adam I see.

52:47 Drew You better be nice.

52:48 Adam All right, Drew, give him the reach around.

52:51 Drew Oh, not the.

52:52 Adam You're a doctor. It won't make you gay. If I do it, it's weird. Hey, hey, Eva. Yeah. Now, seriously, I'm not doing I'm not trying to do any tabloid journalism, but obviously, and I'm feeling the connection between you and Sean and me.

53:08 Drew Shut up.

53:09 Adam Let me work my way into this.

53:11 Drew I've got some plan up for now.

53:12 Adam Yeah. You guys going to meet up later tonight?

53:15 Caller Oh, yeah.

53:17 Drew Well, your friend, Adam, wanted to join you. I understand.

53:20 Best Of You working tomorrow?

53:21 Best Of Yeah, I work in the morning.

53:23 Best Of What time?

53:25 Drew She could rally.

53:25 Adam Yeah, you can rally. What time? By the way, you can just sleep it off in your trailer.

53:29 Caller You'll be fine.

53:31 Best Of No, I am in love with Sean. He's the greatest guy in the world. He is an amazing friend. I just love supporting him.

53:41 Best Of Thank you, Eva.

53:42 Adam But Eva, let me seriously ask. Clearly, and look, I'm not trying to put anyone on the spot here, but maybe there is a connection we made if there hasn't been already. Clearly, Sean is smitten with you. You have feelings for Sean. I don't know what your status is, single or married or whatever. Sean seems to be free and clear.

54:03 Drew Adam's available.

54:04 Adam Yeah. I'm married, but she's flexible. She's cool like that. She's cool. No, I'm just saying, are you single, Eva?

54:14 Best Of Yes. Uh-huh.

54:15 Adam You are, Sean. What's up?

54:17 Best Of Hey, I'm in the same boat.

54:19 Adam Sean's in the same single boat. I'm in the married dinghy with Drew. You guys are on the cabin cruiser for Singality. But, uh. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. But here's what I'm saying. You're both single. You're both part of the galaxy of ABC stars. You're both attractive. You're young. You're in your prime. Sean, you know, Sean's testosterone, you know, losing from this man.

54:44 Best Of I am a young guy.

54:46 Adam You beautiful Latino nubile woman with, you know, I mean, you're like a caged tiger. What?

54:54 Best Of Well, he pegged you, huh?

54:57 Adam I'm just saying, well, what's wrong with the two you are connecting? You know what I'm saying?

55:02 Caller Sean is my friend.

55:04 Adam Right, friend. But what's wrong with connect, you know, even better.

55:08 Best Of Friends with benefits here.

55:09 Adam Right.

55:10 Best Of I mean, I, you know, honestly, I don't think it would work because, because Eva and I are the type of people we are. We would neither want to if we ever went that route, we'd never leave the house.

55:20 Adam You're so passionate.

55:21 Best Of You know, it's just it would be too much. They would nothing would ever, ever top it.

55:26 Adam Yeah. Eva, you're are you a passionate woman?

55:30 Best Of Very much so. Yes. Yes.

55:31 Adam Very much so. And Sean, I thumped him like a melon before I came in and realized his passion is almost on the charts.

55:39 Best Of You guys have a lot of things going on over there. Yeah. You were smitten with Sean.

55:45 Adam I like.

55:45 Drew Oh, yes. Oh, yes. That goes without saying.

55:47 Adam I would like to see Sean with you. Yeah. I could watch.

55:50 Caller Yeah.

55:51 Adam Yeah.

55:51 Best Of Hang out in the closet with the door creaked open.

55:53 Caller No, no, no.

55:55 Drew Are you kidding?

55:56 Adam Yeah.

55:56 Best Of Yeah.

55:57 Adam So listen, Eva, here's here's the towel boy. And here's the thing. I'm just standing there holding the towel. Mr. Farris would do a couple of flash jobs. Mint, you want a mint, a breath mint? Hey, Eva, here's all I'm saying. I would love to be the guy that got you two together. And it's there's obviously there's energy here. I'm not trying to pimp either one of you out.

56:18 Drew No, you're not. You're going nuts on that.

56:20 Adam There's energy. There's energy between the two of them. They're both single.

56:25 Drew Well, you spent 10 minutes on this. We'll see these poor kids on the show.

56:28 Adam All right. All right.

56:28 Best Of We've tried. Sean and I try to create rumors. And we believe there ain't nothing going. No, nothing is not going on.

56:35 Drew We can help you with that. That's no problem.

56:37 Adam Eva, you go to your condo and have a wine cooler. We need you to do that.

56:44 Best Of Go warm up the hot tub.

56:45 Adam Fire up the hot tub. And then I'm going to need you to take a nice loofah shower.

56:50 Best Of Get the booty queens out, too.

56:52 Adam Sean's going to, Sean's going to, we're going to rev him up over here and then we'll send him by. Should get there about 12, 15, 12, 20. All right.

57:02 Drew I'll be there about 12, 22.

57:03 Adam And he'll give you a good report and then we'll see you on this show.

57:07 Best Of All right. I look forward to it, y'all.

57:09 Adam Thanks. All right. Eva Longoria, everyone from Desperate Housewives. There's something there. There's some energy. And I can't quite. You love Desperate Housewives?

57:19 Best Of There's nothing to love.

57:21 Caller I remember her from Young and the Restless.

57:23 Caller Ah, yeah.

57:26 Adam She's restless.

57:26 Drew OK. She's in Michelle's wheelhouse.

57:29 Adam Oh, yeah. Attractive woman. Yes. Yeah. You can't go. You can't go wrong with that.

57:35 Best Of Tight. No, she's a great person. She really is.

57:38 Adam Who cares? Hitler Jr. She's great looking. And you should be on that. And I think there's something going on. I do. I do. Whatever.

57:48 Drew OK.

57:48 Adam I'm just I'm wanting to facilitate.

57:50 Drew I know you are, but you made that point 18 times in a row. But let me tell you something about women.

57:55 Adam Women women feel sometimes like they give in to our relationship.

57:59 Drew Sean wants you to do that. He'll like.

58:00 Adam He'll know. Sean does.

58:02 Drew You want him to beat on you guys like that?

58:03 Best Of I can do whatever he wants. I'm just sitting here for pure entertainment purposes.

58:06 Drew I see. He's not here.

58:08 Adam He's not here.

58:08 Caller Does he like older women?

58:10 Best Of Oh, I love older women.

58:11 Adam Yeah, everyone.

58:12 Best Of You gotta date older women.

58:13 Adam 22-year-old guys love older women because they're 27-year-old women.

58:15 Best Of Well, yeah, of course.

58:16 Adam When you hit 45, you don't want to be at the 59-year-old. Oh, yeah.

58:19 Best Of That's never going to happen.

58:20 Caller No.

58:21 Best Of When you hit 45, that's when you drop back down.

58:23 Adam You drop down.

58:24 Best Of Of course.

58:24 Adam But ironically, they're still 27.

58:26 Caller Yeah.

58:28 Best Of 27 is like that point.

58:29 Adam You're 22, you want to be at the 27-year-old. You're 45, you want to be at the 27-year-old.

58:34 Drew What is the optimal age?

58:35 Adam For what? When you're, what do you mean? For a woman?

58:38 Drew You guys, you out of the blue picked 27 as the age.

58:41 Adam I just do it out there.

58:42 Best Of Look, here's where you want to give or take a few.

58:44 Adam Women can be super foxy at 21, 22, but the desire part is a little screwed up, they're a little nutty. And yeah, I would say 30, 31.

58:56 Drew I was just saying, let's write down a number.

58:57 Adam Okay, well too late. I would say, and it keeps shifting, and Drew, you're a little older than I am, so moves up for you. 32. 32, everything still works, super horny, and the body, nothing's falling yet.

59:09 Best Of I'll leave that to you guys.

59:10 Adam Yeah, all right. Yeah, we get the 32 year old's Drew. Sarah?

59:16 Caller Yeah.

59:18 Adam What's happening?

59:21 Caller My boyfriend has a really bad temper, I can't say actually.

59:26 Caller I'm gonna talk to Eve again. What's going on?

59:28 Drew Does he hit you?

59:30 Caller He has once.

59:32 Drew Okay, well, he will do that again.

59:33 Caller Where's my bourbon?

59:34 Drew Absolutely.

59:35 Adam Maybe got it out of his system.

59:36 Drew No, it doesn't work like that, unfortunately.

59:38 Adam It doesn't?

59:39 Drew And that's it. He's broken the law in touching you like that.

59:41 Caller We've been together for a little over a year.

59:45 Drew Oh, well, in that case then.

59:46 Caller And it's not...

59:47 Caller I mean, I know that doesn't make it right.

59:49 Caller Nothing makes it right. But it's the first time he's ever done anything like that.

59:53 Drew Yeah, and that's not the last time. These things, once they cross into this behavior, it escalates.

59:59 Adam It does.

59:59 Caller I know. I had the same experience with my ex.

1:00:03 Drew So you do tend to go after abusive men.

1:00:05 Adam Well, yeah, here's the thing. If you were with... the fact that you're with him says to us that it's going to escalate.

1:00:11 Drew Right, because that's who you pick.

1:00:12 Adam So we're guessing your dad was physically abusive to you.

1:00:15 Caller Not to me.

1:00:17 Drew Right. A violent guy. Whatever. He was that kind of person. And that's why you're attracted to that kind of person. What's that?

1:00:23 Caller He was to my mom.

1:00:24 Drew I understand. So that's what you expect from men, is for them to beat the crap out of you.

1:00:29 Caller Well, that's not what I want.

1:00:30 Drew I know it's not what you want, but on some levels you're attracted to that.

1:00:34 Adam What you want and what you seek are two very different things.

1:00:37 Drew The thing is, the things that are traumatizing in childhood for reasons that are... Why God wired us this way is just a complete mystery, but we are wired in such a way that when we have a traumatic experience in childhood, that becomes a source of attraction later in adulthood. And so the kind of thing, the kind of person that dad was, and all his traumatizing, what you hated for him for doing, is stuff that you find arousing and alluring now, and you can't not go after those guys. And boy, you gotta not go after those guys. You gotta get some treatment so you don't go after those guys.

1:01:06 Caller Well, is there any way at all to break that cycle?

1:01:09 Drew Yes, yes, absolutely.

1:01:10 Caller I thought I was when I got with him, because he was nothing like that when I met him.

1:01:14 Drew Here's what you can pretty much depend on. If you are super attracted to a guy, that's the kind of guy he's gonna be. Even if he seems, even if he's a kindergarten teacher, whatever, it seems like the nice guy in the world, you picked him, you're super attracted to him, that's who he's gonna be.

1:01:27 Adam That's why Eva likes Sean, rough trade. Handful of hair, oh yeah. Sarah?

1:01:34 Drew I think they're singing the other way around, she seemed like the more active one.

1:01:36 Adam I could see that too. Either way, it's gonna work. Sarah? Yeah? This guy, what's he do for a living?

1:01:44 Caller He works at a big company, a big corporation that makes...

1:01:55 Adam Just say things, so I can be satisfied and go home.

1:01:59 Caller They make things for big companies.

1:02:03 Drew Make things for big companies.

1:02:05 Adam Oh, what a vivid picture.

1:02:08 Drew Things for big companies.

1:02:09 Adam It's really like having a high definition plasma screen in my set.

1:02:13 Best Of Well, you may remember, she may be afraid that he may find out by naming what he does.

1:02:18 Drew Yeah.

1:02:19 Adam Well, that's a good point. Thanks for trapping on me.

1:02:21 Caller There you go.

1:02:22 Adam No, Sean's right.

1:02:23 Best Of I'm a listener. I'm an observer.

1:02:25 Adam No, I appreciate it. You're right. You got us back on track, Sarah. But it takes a big, big man to admit what someone else is right, Drew. Big man. I give you a huge man. So, Sarah, yeah, I agree with Drew. We should probably drop this guy. Yeah. And you need to get some free.

1:02:42 Drew I know.

1:02:43 Adam No, I know, because that's what a track. Hold on a second. Let's talk about attraction for just one second.

1:02:47 Drew Yes.

1:02:48 Adam That's the heroin part of the relationship. The reason, you know, somebody could be going like a guy could kill himself over a chick. And you look at her and like, yeah, it's not doing anything. I mean, what is attraction? You know, you hear these women all the time, especially for women. It's like, well, he's short and he's kind of balding and a much to look at. And he's got a hairy back, but it's like, I can't, I gotta breathe this breath. I can't, I want to drink his urine. I gotta be near this guy. What is that? Well, the guy's a schlub. Why do you gotta be near him? Well, that's what attraction is. And it's more powerful than the sort of rational mind.

1:03:25 Drew And when it's crazy intense like that, particularly for people that don't make sense to everybody else, it's because you were traumatized. And this is a reenactment of all that traumatic material. And what's interesting, even again interesting, is when the current boyfriend starts actually escalating and traumatizing you again, it's one of the concept is that it increases your attachment needs. Where do people go when they're in traumatic situations but run to their loved ones?

1:03:49 Adam Right.

1:03:50 Drew So now this is the guy you're even more attached to now when he becomes the traumatizer. Because that's the only place you could go when you're being traumatized.

1:03:56 Adam Is it safe to say that the more effed up you are, the stronger and more specific the attraction is and the greater the grip it has on you?

1:04:08 Drew The less flexibility you have with moving in and out of relationships.

1:04:11 Adam Yeah, like super people that haven't had any history of trauma can sort of objectively take a look at a situation and go, this person hit me, I'm leaving the relationship.

1:04:20 Drew And that's one of the things that happens from trauma is you lose flexibility and the ability to move in and out of bad and good feelings, bad and good relationships.

1:04:28 Adam Right. And women probably use more of their brain in terms of attraction than guys do. I mean, guys use their eyes.

1:04:36 Drew Yes, guys have, guys, their eyes activate their visual cortices and then they're driven right into the drive centers, right into the desire center.

1:04:44 Adam Straight to the junk.

1:04:45 Drew The women don't have that cryo activation.

1:04:48 Adam Right to the basket.

1:04:49 Drew They have arousal without desire. And so they have attraction, all that is what moves them along. It's not that hunger desire stuff that men get.

1:04:57 Best Of Is that why they're always able to say no?

1:04:59 Drew Stop, stop. They're going, but I got it.

1:05:03 Best Of They don't have that.

1:05:05 Caller Until they hit their peak.

1:05:06 Drew No, even that. A lot of women, that part of the brain doesn't... Some do, some women are sort of masculinized and have a lot of testosterone and whatnot circulating, but most of them... I'm going out for Discovery Health Channel. We're going to go to a functional MRI scan in Atlanta and we're going to do a bunch of functional MRIs on people looking at the rousing material.

1:05:21 Adam What's the... Is there a non-functioning MRI?

1:05:24 Drew Functional MRI, meaning it shows the metabolic function of regions of the brain, not just the anatomic structure. So you actually look at what the brain is doing in response to stimuli. So I'm going in the scanner.

1:05:36 Best Of Pretend like I understand what you're talking about.

1:05:37 Adam Your Drew's going in. Sean, man of passion, by the way.

1:05:39 Drew We'll have a little race.

1:05:40 Adam Reminds me of a young Drew driven by passion, both toward the same goal. Vagina, Hill. Yeah.

1:05:49 Drew Try that one again. Take two.

1:05:56 Adam Driven by passion, fueled by lust.

1:06:00 Best Of Just got to have it.

1:06:01 Adam There's two men, both in their primes, both moving in the same direction.

1:06:08 Caller To the?

1:06:09 Adam Eva Longoria's underpants. The point is, is I can see, I see the passion in Drew. Hell, you can smell it if the air conditioning duct's blowing hard enough. Sean is passionate man, as I've seen in here in a long time. And I've seen passion. I know passion.

1:06:27 Best Of It's just written on my face. I actually got it tattooed on my forehead.

1:06:31 Drew Yeah, well.

1:06:33 Adam I think Eva's picking up on it. Yeah. That's all I'm saying. All right, so dump the guy. Yeah?

1:06:39 Drew And get some help.

1:06:40 Adam And get some help.

1:06:41 Drew A good therapist could help you with this.

1:06:42 Adam All right.

1:06:43 Drew So there are specialists in domestic violence and report him, frankly.

1:06:46 Adam All right. Well, we got a question for Sean. I was looking at Monique is gonna ask a question for Sean. That's a hot name.

1:06:54 Drew Me?

1:06:54 Adam Passion.

1:06:54 Drew Monique.

1:06:55 Adam Yeah, Monique's got a question for you.

1:06:56 Drew Already Sean's into it.

1:06:57 Best Of I'm down, Monique, what is up?

1:06:59 Adam We will, well, hold on, what is up? Monique?

1:07:02 Caller Hello?

1:07:03 Adam We gotta take a quick commercial here, baby doll.

1:07:06 Best Of But if you hold on, I would be happy to answer your question.

1:07:09 Adam Yes.

1:07:11 Caller Sure.

1:07:12 Adam Get some tips from the reigning king of passion, under 30 division drill. It's not gonna make a run at your crown.

1:07:20 Best Of I'm gonna leave it on my own.

1:07:21 Adam All right, hold on, Monique. Sean Farris is here tonight from Life As We Know It, eight o'clock Thursdays, ABC. We'll take a quick break, be right back after this.

1:07:48 Caller Hello, there.

1:07:49 Adam It's Loveline, the best of Loveline, that is. I'm Adam, that is Dr. Drew.

1:07:54 Drew And I'm so excited. Upcoming our dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear friend.

1:07:58 Adam Mark McGrath and Dana Devon from Extra. And he's working out on that show.

1:08:03 Drew Yeah, he is.

1:08:03 Adam I've been watching it. He's doing a great job. He's a great guy. He's one of these guys you just love to hate, except for he's so goddamn nice.

1:08:09 Drew Yeah.

1:08:10 Adam Yeah?

1:08:10 Drew You can't.

1:08:11 Adam All right. Dana Devon and Mark McGrath.

1:08:16 Caller Hey, buddy, it's Loveline.

1:08:17 Adam And I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Fund number 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1. Dana Devon here tonight. Mark McGrath here with her from Extra NBC. Seven o'clock. Best guilty pleasure on television, Drew. Yes, indeed. Drew can't stand the show. I'm a big fan.

1:08:31 Drew No, no, not this show.

1:08:32 Adam Huge fan. Oh, please.

1:08:34 But Drew, you were going to actually work for Extra at one point, or you did.

1:08:37 Drew I did some stuff for a little while.

1:08:39 Adam What? What happened?

1:08:41 Drew I'm actually, no, I just, I don't have any talent for it. But I'm interested. It makes two of us.

1:08:46 Adam Yeah.

1:08:47 Drew I'll alert you. No.

1:08:48 Adam Oh, wait a minute.

1:08:49 Drew I'm disturbed at the way celebrity is massaged. Rather than try to dig in, who are these people? I make some, why do they need to do this? Why do they have this craziness? As opposed to, well, they're engaged in this craziness because they're trying to affect something in their career, or to affect some other celebrities thinking about it. No, no, no. These are people with real serious disturbances of the psyche.

1:09:10 Adam You're saying Renell Zellweger has problems with her name is?

1:09:15 Drew Yeah. I'm saying the people that have chaos in their relationships, as you well know. All right.

1:09:18 Adam But here's the thing. You can't turn the celebrities into people. If you turn them into people, then you have no more show and no one cares what they ate or what their dog's name is.

1:09:26 Caller Well, and generally speaking, the audience that you're appealing to doesn't necessarily want to get into the deep, deep. They like, they grew up on video games and they like fast and furious. And we've actually tried to slow our show down and try and get a little bit deeper. But sometimes you just, you fight that a little bit. You have a short attention span theater, you know?

1:09:45 Adam Yeah. All right, Drew, please.

1:09:47 Caller You don't want to see the wizard behind the curtain.

1:09:49 Adam That's right. Keep the curtain closed.

1:09:52 Drew Wizard of Oz, baby.

1:09:53 Caller It's really supposed to be just fun. You know what I mean?

1:09:55 Drew In it is.

1:09:56 Adam How about it, Drew?

1:09:57 Caller Yeah. Oh, just have fun.

1:09:58 Drew Is that all right? You're right. I'm too heavy. This is too logical. I'm with it. I don't not like extra. That's not it at all because I'm against it. It's like the happiest staff on Earth. You know what I mean? It's a very happy place. That big room there where you guys are. Oh yeah, the purple one.

1:10:17 Adam Do you want Mark to sit down with Liv Tyler and ask when she was molested?

1:10:21 Caller Yes. Start crying and stuff like that.

1:10:23 Drew That's what I want.

1:10:24 Caller That's me.

1:10:24 Drew Investigative journalism.

1:10:25 Caller I tend to like that personally. I like those parts of an interview more than I like anything else. But it just doesn't work in this format. There has to be a branch off if we're going to do that. You know what I mean?

1:10:35 Drew I mean like a Barbara Walters style.

1:10:37 Caller Yeah. There has to be like you have to have a separate kind of environment for that because it's not working like that. But you can touch on it. But you just kind of like walk around it, skip around it, and then you move on. You can't get real deep. Yeah.

1:10:50 Adam How long, by the way, Billy Bush, pussy, by the way, Mark. I don't trust that kid. Drew doesn't even know who he is, do you, Drew? You wouldn't recognize him if you're standing in the street and you walk right by him, would you?

1:11:02 Drew No.

1:11:03 Caller You might, though.

1:11:04 Adam No, he doesn't know the kid.

1:11:06 Caller He's the nephew of Bush?

1:11:08 Adam Don't even know.

1:11:08 Drew And what happened?

1:11:10 Caller He's co-host of Access Hollywood. Actually, I think he's really nice.

1:11:13 Adam No, but no one likes him. He rubs everyone the wrong way. Guys hate him, and chicks are creeped out by him.

1:11:20 Caller Really?

1:11:20 Adam Yeah, that's what I would say. Never met anyone that had a good five of them. I'll be kissing his ass once he ends Wednesday. Billy, great job. Give me some sugar. Mark, just stay with the band. Yeah, no, I agree.

1:11:33 Caller Mark guy is creepy, isn't he? I don't think you're creepy. Mark actually was one of the first people that we ever had.

1:11:38 Caller Thanks for saying that, by the way, because I wasn't even asking you, like, for real.

1:11:41 Caller No, I was going to tell you, though, because Mark is one of the first people that we had that came on the show that didn't offend one or the other. Like, gay men love Mark, straight men love Mark, and gay and straight women love Mark. There's nobody he offends. And I love them all. You know what I mean? Right.

1:11:56 Caller I do offend them.

1:11:56 Drew Until he actually starts loving them all, then it gets a little nasty.

1:11:59 Caller Yeah, yeah.

1:12:00 Drew Second date, you know.

1:12:03 Best Of Could you wait till the third, please?

1:12:05 Caller Punch my card.

1:12:06 Adam Let's take ourselves some phone calls. Drew, watch the show, really.

1:12:10 Drew Yeah, okay.

1:12:11 Caller Tivo, Drew, you got that.

1:12:12 Drew Got it.

1:12:13 Adam Ashley?

1:12:14 Caller Yes.

1:12:15 Adam Year 24?

1:12:16 Caller Yes.

1:12:16 Drew What's up?

1:12:18 Caller Well, I just have a question. Ever since I had my first kid, about four years ago, I've been really uncomfortable. Actually, it turns me off really bad whenever my husband touches me. Down in my genitals or goes down on me or anything.

1:12:31 Caller Is it painful or just uncomfortable?

1:12:33 Caller It just turns me off. It disgusts me.

1:12:36 Drew Disgusts.

1:12:36 Adam How about in sex? Same thing?

1:12:38 Caller No, sex is fine. And then I had our second kid and I breastfed him. And ever since I breastfed, I don't like my nipples being touched. Is that normal?

1:12:49 Adam She's gonna run out of parts soon. She's gonna feel like just get a Q-tip and poke her or something across the room.

1:12:55 Drew Any problem with the kids holding her hand?

1:12:57 Caller That sounds psychological though.

1:12:58 Drew Well, I'm trying to evaluate whether this is sort of post-traumatic stress of some type or if this is some sort of biological reaction. Any way I could figure out a biological medical reason for this and I can't come up with one. So the next question is, did you have some sort of trauma growing up? Were you sexually abused or something? Somewhat. Yeah.

1:13:17 Adam Well, that's it. What happened?

1:13:20 Caller But why do you think the kids have to, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you.

1:13:23 Drew Because they trigger it. When people have post-traumatic stress, something's got to sort of reawaken it. So the idea of something coming out of her and then all the intimacy with the child of revokes all this cringey stuff.

1:13:33 Adam Plus she was a kid when she was abused or molested or whatever it was. That's when the child-

1:13:38 Caller Did your husband know that, that you had some sexual abuse?

1:13:41 Adam Yes. Who did this to you?

1:13:45 Caller My stepfather.

1:13:46 Adam Stepfather. How old were you?

1:13:49 Caller It started when I was like seven. And ended when I was like 13.

1:13:54 Caller What about counseling? Did you ever get any counseling?

1:13:56 Caller I got some, but it just didn't seem to help at all.

1:14:00 Caller I think you guys probably need marital counseling, don't you?

1:14:02 Caller Well, everything else is fine. I mean, you know, he's okay with it, but you know, every once in a while he slips up and tries to do something or he gets a little bit frustrated and tries to go down there and it just grosses me out.

1:14:12 Drew Well, but Ashley, these things don't exist.

1:14:13 Adam By the way, I think these are terms I could agree to in a relationship.

1:14:16 Caller Yeah, no kidding. Most guys would be stoked on them.

1:14:17 Adam There'll be no oral sex. Done and done.

1:14:20 Caller Darn.

1:14:21 Drew Tonight was your night.

1:14:22 Adam That's not something?

1:14:26 Drew I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine with it. I'm a man here.

1:14:30 Adam What do you mean you're fine with it?

1:14:31 Caller But you'll just tolerate it. You're not into it. You just tolerate it.

1:14:34 Caller You seek it out?

1:14:35 Drew I don't seek it out, but I'm happy to oblige.

1:14:38 Adam You do what you got to do.

1:14:40 Caller A little more than that.

1:14:43 Drew Adam had a great way of... Mark? Me?

1:14:45 Caller Yeah.

1:14:46 Caller If there's grass in the valley.

1:14:48 Drew Adam had a great way of thinking about this. Wait a minute. Just looking at it as if you were an anthropologist from Mars. You're Martian and landed and you're trying to learn about what oral sex is. Go ahead.

1:14:57 Adam Well, I was saying this. Women say, oh, forget about what you guys do. What about what we have to do and comparing the two orals. Yeah.

1:15:06 Drew Wait, wait, listen.

1:15:07 Adam You're from another. Forget about what your sexual proclivity is. You're from another planet. You come down here. You want to bury your face on a churro or an abalone? Oh, nine out of ten Martians and Martians. That's I mean, just those are your two choices. Where are you going? Cinnamon-y, sugary, still hot. Or?

1:15:33 Drew Plesipod. Plesipod. I'm sort of, you know, no, I'm adventurous. I'm a scientist. I like that stuff.

1:15:41 Adam Yes. Yes.

1:15:42 Drew So I'll go for the Dionysian.

1:15:45 Adam Yes. Yes. I feel like, well, first off, Mark, you're single, right? OK, so you you you cannot ask me what I mean is this single guy you have to ask. You can't be yacking on the radio that you're not that's not that's not your cup of tea because it's a lack of reciprocity, isn't it?

1:16:02 Best Of I mean, it's you know what I mean for a guy at least.

1:16:04 Caller I mean, I know I guys dig it, but you know, it's not there.

1:16:07 Drew There are guys that are really into it.

1:16:08 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:16:09 Adam But psychotically, you don't want to be with that guy, by the way. That's the weirdo.

1:16:12 Caller Yeah, that's the guy that stares at you.

1:16:14 Caller That's the guy that I was working in the mall and he would go, we'd find him back in the lingerie section, the place he would be in to the underwear. He usually has a mustache and drives a van.

1:16:25 Caller I want to taste you.

1:16:26 Caller By the river.

1:16:27 Adam I need to taste you. Yeah, that guy. Yeah, watch out for that guy.

1:16:31 Caller That is, I did not realize. I mean, I knew there were a small part of the population that probably didn't know it.

1:16:36 Drew You have to use your imagination for that one to know the guys might have a little...

1:16:39 Adam No, you're misleading her. Here's the thing. Most guys... Here's the thing about guys. We're much more flexible. We can take a punch in the stomach from one of our buddies. We can eat a sandwich that fell on the ground. You know what I mean? We just, we'll do whatever we have to do. We don't have strong feelings about it. But we're not dying to do it after, you know, year one of the relationship. We'll do it. Right. I mean, there's a weird thing. It's like, how do you explain to someone? Like, it's like saying someone is not smart, but that doesn't make them dumb. You know what I mean? Not to say we love it doesn't mean we hate it. It just means the gray area there. Yeah, we're ready to do it.

1:17:17 Drew Well, the guys grew up with no idea what that is for a woman. The guys grew up with the sense that a vagina is just an inside out penis. Right. And therefore having sex would be what would be perfectly suitable for a woman. And the idea that it being different is something that comes much, much later.

1:17:32 Best Of I never know what I'm doing either.

1:17:34 Drew It goes without saying, but.

1:17:35 Adam Right.

1:17:36 Caller Well, you know, I'm trying to be the candid here.

1:17:37 Caller Dr. Drew, I need a kick to the nuts from you.

1:17:39 Caller You know what I mean?

1:17:41 Adam What dare you?

1:17:42 Caller Well, I think, I think it goes over first.

1:17:43 Drew Wait, wait, wait. Where's my anatomy book? Get the Chris anatomy book.

1:17:46 Caller I learned from Sam Kinison.

1:17:47 Drew He said, do the alphabet with your tongue.

1:17:49 Caller You know what I mean?

1:17:50 Drew And you know.

1:17:51 Caller You told me that on the set.

1:17:52 Drew I know.

1:17:52 Caller And it's, it's, I don't know.

1:17:54 Caller But isn't there something sexy about it? If you're really into someone, like, you're almost ingesting them. I mean, I guess you could have actually are ingesting them.

1:18:02 Drew It's an aggression.

1:18:02 Caller You know what I mean?

1:18:03 Drew Red Raider.

1:18:04 Adam Red Raiders.

1:18:06 Drew That's what happens down in Texas.

1:18:08 Adam What does happen?

1:18:09 Caller You warranted the anatomy book.

1:18:11 Caller The Red Raiders.

1:18:12 Caller Marcus, to get the anatomy lesson.

1:18:14 Adam You're so into them, you want to consume them.

1:18:15 Caller Yes.

1:18:16 Adam There's passion.

1:18:17 Caller But I guess that goes into the first year thing that you were just saying.

1:18:20 Adam Yeah. I'm just saying.

1:18:22 Drew That's all the action.

1:18:23 Adam You give your husband a pass tomorrow night, he'll be cool with it.

1:18:25 Drew Paraneum. All right. What about digital manipulation in here?

1:18:28 Caller You know, my husband is a doctor and he, he didn't do well in the gynecology part. He failed it actually.

1:18:34 Drew I'm very proud that you're bringing that up tonight.

1:18:36 Caller He likes when I do that.

1:18:39 Adam All right, Drew, do this off the air. It's a visual thing. The point is, guys, here's the thing. Guys need to know that they should put a stronger emphasis on this than they actually do. Nobody talks about it. Everyone's talking about sex and humping and screwing and banging and all that good stuff. They never talk about it.

1:18:57 Drew What if the songs aren't about this part?

1:18:59 Adam No.

1:19:00 Caller Nothing rhymes with Cunning Lungus.

1:19:05 Adam What rhymes with Abelone?

1:19:06 Best Of Yeah, right, right.

1:19:07 Adam If you think about it.

1:19:09 Caller Yeah.

1:19:10 Best Of There's never good communication. I've never had good communication in that sense, because it's kind of awkward, you know what I'm saying?

1:19:15 Caller Right.

1:19:15 Caller I've never had like a girl go, oh, that feels great.

1:19:17 Caller That does. And like guide me to this, even with like girlfriends and stuff.

1:19:20 Best Of Right.

1:19:20 Caller So I think there's like a communication problem.

1:19:22 Drew Somebody help me. This is again, we were talking about earlier with women settling for things and not asserting. They settle on that. Men are happy to oblige if women just go, hey, hey, try this. Tell me what I'm doing. Men are fine.

1:19:34 Adam Most of the notes would be burn less calories. Reel it in a little.

1:19:39 Drew In all aspects.

1:19:40 Caller Try Sally. Well, actually, you know what? I think even this is not even so much an issue for women. If there was just more, it's like when you first go out, you're kissing for hours. You're kissing for so long that you've got razor burn from the guy and your lips are sore the next day. And you're like, you know what I'm saying? Then as soon as you get married, there's not that much kissing anymore. You don't even really like full mouth kiss anymore. Yeah. You know, or at least gross.

1:20:02 Adam It's a chore.

1:20:03 Caller It's like there's a lot of stuff going on in a human's mouth. And you just kind of get like, yeah. And as much as you don't want someone in yours is you don't want to be in theirs. But you know what I mean?

1:20:11 Adam I know.

1:20:12 Caller But if you even just had kissing, you wouldn't even have to do that.

1:20:15 Caller Me and my wife.

1:20:17 Drew Here's what all the guys heard. You didn't hear what she said. That we heard her say wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. She said, if you kiss, you don't have to do this so much.

1:20:25 Caller For play. In other words, slow, like, you know, take your time and then that's not even so much as an issue.

1:20:33 Adam Don't you think?

1:20:33 Drew It's hard even to process that.

1:20:35 Caller Do you don't think so?

1:20:36 Drew No, you're probably right. It's just how far men and women are apart. Yeah.

1:20:39 Caller This is so exciting to get right to it, though.

1:20:41 Adam Who has time for that?

1:20:42 Drew Yeah, but this is the point. This is all the... Communication, right? No, they need this other part.

1:20:47 Caller The emotional. We just need the physical. It's not emotional, actually. I mean, it is, but it's physical. It's actually preparing a woman.

1:20:54 Caller Well, first off, preparation was never my strong point.

1:20:58 Drew No, it's like, yeah, it's Thanksgiving.

1:21:00 Adam Now, you know, my wife and I are at the point where all we do is low five real fast for a little bit. Low five, low five. OK, that's good. I mean, I mean, I'm done.

1:21:11 Caller I'm done.

1:21:12 Adam All right. What's going on? Turn extra on, sweetie. Yeah.

1:21:17 Caller Well done.

1:21:18 Adam Yeah, it is. Here's the problem. Here's what women don't know, David. Here's what's in it for us. I'll tell you what's in it. There's not a lot in marriage for guys. Now, Drew piped on. I know your wife's listening. But guys instinctively sort of what's in it for us. This is what's in it for us.

1:21:33 Caller Sex.

1:21:33 Adam We can have sex.

1:21:33 Caller But guaranteed.

1:21:34 Adam Minus all the cuddling and the making out and all. This is where guys go to. But it's not guaranteed, though.

1:21:41 Drew That's not guaranteed, though.

1:21:42 Adam But this is where.

1:21:43 Drew It's the compensation.

1:21:44 Adam Right. As a guy, as an 18-year-old guy, what's in it for you? Marriage. Marriage-wise, I mean, even if you're going to get married in 10 years. Well, you get to get laid when you want. It's like it's living in the house. There's an ATM in the house.

1:21:58 Caller And it's free. You don't need a car.

1:21:59 Adam No lines, no car.

1:22:00 Caller It ain't free.

1:22:02 Adam Yeah, what AT is.

1:22:03 Caller It ain't free.

1:22:03 Caller AT is about youth.

1:22:05 Adam Right. Well, there's no surcharge. You save it by 50, but the bank manager is embezzling. It's what you don't know. He's taking hundreds of thousands of dollars.

1:22:13 Caller Someone else might use the ATM too.

1:22:15 Adam Right. That's the point. But it's in the house. And the sex minus all the dating and the handholding and the kissing and the cuddling and all. We narrow it. See, here's the whole thing. This is what we've always wanted. It took eight dates and a bunch of meals and a few plays and everything to get this. We whittle it down to where we want it to be, which is lo-fi cow. This is the direction we've been heading. Looking at it as a giant pyramid that we've been heading toward this. Right. Quick intercourse. The whole, since maybe junior year of high school. This is where we've been heading. We're there now. You guys, you got the kids, you got the ring, you got the SUV, we get the quick thing. Everyone dies, everyone's happy.

1:22:55 Caller A great life.

1:22:56 Adam Let's take a break. There it is. That's it, everybody.

1:22:58 Caller Beautiful.

1:22:58 Adam Well, Dana Devon here tonight. And you know what?

1:23:01 Caller What?

1:23:02 Adam We shed some light on each other's parts. That's what I like about it.

1:23:06 Drew These are getting closer. They look like a retreat for them.

1:23:08 Caller Well, actually, we've already discussed 90 percent of this, which is frightening. We do it with microphones on on the set. You know, the entire staff, they're popping in tapes in the back. And Mark's talking about what was the...

1:23:18 Drew Your.

1:23:19 Adam Yeah. Better than our...

1:23:21 Drew Uteral.

1:23:22 Adam Our taped... Our taped mic ones were like the producers are idiots. I'm going to kill these guys. What am I doing here? That's the part they were listening to.

1:23:30 Drew Oh, the Loveline...

1:23:31 Adam Yeah, they would have probably enjoyed if we just had a sexual discourse. All right, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:23:58 Caller Hey, everybody, it's Love Line.

1:24:00 Adam I'm Adam.

1:24:00 Caller That's Dr. Drew.

1:24:02 Adam Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. We're going to speak to Stephanie, who's 19. When she cuddles with boyfriend after fighting, she gets real excited. All right, that sounds exciting. Stephanie?

1:24:23 Best Of Yeah?

1:24:25 Adam Yeah.

1:24:26 Caller Ooh.

1:24:26 Adam What's up?

1:24:27 Caller Hi. Well, my boyfriend and I get in fights. I don't know, we almost, we always make up. And it's afterwards when we're laying in bed and we're cuddling. And we're really close to each other. And I just get really excited, like, in like a horny way, I get really horny. And it's strange because when we just normally go to have sex...

1:24:53 Adam You had to say horny twice.

1:24:54 Caller Sorry.

1:24:56 Caller I'm really horny.

1:24:58 Adam Horny way sounds like it's just a great cul-de-sac to live on. You take, yeah, you take Strumpet Road, you'll hit Horny Circle and then Horny Way. That's the next, and then we're right there. We're second house on the left. You can't miss it.

1:25:15 Drew What kind of fighting do you guys do? Is there...

1:25:18 Adam They hit each other? They use throwing stars.

1:25:20 Drew Nunchucks or anything?

1:25:21 Caller No, we don't hit each other. I mean, they're always verbal.

1:25:26 Adam Listen, you're 19, this is what you do. You get all fired up, you get the juices flowing, but any cuddle, you get horny.

1:25:31 Drew The aggression is what's being converted into sexual...

1:25:34 Adam We ever physically abused?

1:25:36 Caller No.

1:25:37 Adam No. No, okay. No problems? No problems growing up with this?

1:25:43 Caller I mean, I was molested once, but it wasn't by any family members or anything.

1:25:48 Adam And who did it?

1:25:51 Caller Um, a friend of mine.

1:25:54 Drew How old were you?

1:25:55 Caller It was actually over the summer.

1:25:58 Adam You got molested last summer?

1:26:00 Caller Yeah.

1:26:01 Adam Oh.

1:26:01 Drew That wouldn't be molested.

1:26:02 Adam That's rape. I know that's rape.

1:26:05 Caller Well, I mean, there was no...

1:26:07 Adam Penetration? No intercourse?

1:26:09 Drew What sexual assault then?

1:26:11 Adam What was there?

1:26:12 Caller Well, um, you know, it was a guy I thought I could trust and I could not drive because I was intoxicated and I passed out at his house and, um, well, I woke up with his hands down my pants, basically.

1:26:32 Adam Right.

1:26:33 Caller And he was touching me.

1:26:34 Adam And then what?

1:26:36 Caller Um, I told him to get off of me, but I couldn't leave. And so he actually he didn't say anything. He just got up and like went into his room and he didn't come out. And I left as soon as I woke up in the morning.

1:26:49 Caller A rapist.

1:26:50 Drew Alright, so sort of an inappropriate sexual contact.

1:26:53 Adam Yeah, that shouldn't leave too big a mark.

1:26:57 Drew No.

1:26:57 Caller No.

1:26:58 Drew Yeah. It's not molestation. Molestation is when you're pre-puberty like your child.

1:27:04 Adam Okay. So Stephanie, that's the only thing that happened. You got a little trauma there. Somebody stepped out of line. You caught it. You stopped it. I wonder how much of that stuff, by the way, like, you know, you know what these guys do? I would imagine.

1:27:20 Drew These guys that try this kind of thing?

1:27:21 Adam Yeah. Yeah. The chick's passed out. Yeah. So you take your hand, you start rubbing down there. It doesn't really wake anybody up. You know what I mean? As a matter of fact, it probably feels good.

1:27:32 Drew Yeah. But again, that's a guy wishing somebody would do that to him.

1:27:36 Adam No, I know. But what I'm saying is, is I think what happens is the guys test the water a little by doing the little outside the panties, outside the pants rub for five minutes. Don't get much of a response. Then the hand slides in, then they wake up. And I don't even know, you know, it's sort of like the guy giving the other guy the BJ. The guy's drunk, the guy's passed out, he's having a dream. One of the Hee Haw twins is giving him a little pleasure and then wakes up and sees the guy have to goatee and freaks. You see what I'm saying?

1:28:10 Drew Yeah.

1:28:11 Adam Drew, that's happened to you, yes?

1:28:13 Drew By having a flashback?

1:28:14 Adam Yeah. I mean, not to goatee back then, you had that big damn haggardy beard. Yes, big Merlin Olsen beard. But the point is, the point is, is I kind of think that when these guys do this, they think like, all right, I'm just gonna rub for a little bit. Seems like she's okay with it. Either she's not waking up or it's like, you're in that state where you're just kind of passed out. It's like if someone was doing something that felt kind of good and you're drunk and high and whatever and passed out, you don't even know. It's like, you'll hang for it, right?

1:28:43 Drew Right.

1:28:45 Adam That shouldn't count. I mean, that shouldn't be, what this guy did was wrong, but she shouldn't be traumatized from that.

1:28:50 Drew Yeah, still something up with Stephanie. She likes the aggressive and the makeup sex.

1:28:55 Adam Not gonna get to it. Wendy?

1:28:57 Caller Yeah.

1:28:58 Adam You're 25?

1:28:59 Caller Yep.

1:29:00 Adam Sorry for disturbing you at this time.

1:29:04 Caller No, I'm not at all sorry. Uh-oh.

1:29:07 Adam What was that?

1:29:09 Caller That's my kid.

1:29:11 Adam All righty. You got a fiance?

1:29:14 Caller Yep.

1:29:16 Adam And you're cheating on him?

1:29:18 Caller Yeah, for the past like four months.

1:29:22 Adam Mm-hmm. When are you guys planning on getting married?

1:29:25 Caller Well, it's kind of in up in the air, sort of, whenever.

1:29:32 Caller Wow.

1:29:33 Adam That's like a, that's like a recorded drop of a baby cry.

1:29:37 Drew Oh, it was Anderson.

1:29:38 Adam Well, that's why it's sounding like a recorded drop of a baby cry.

1:29:43 Drew Wendy?

1:29:44 Caller Yeah.

1:29:44 Drew Wendy, is your boyfriend or fiance sort of not attending to you lately or are you mad at him for some reason?

1:29:50 Caller Probably like the past year.

1:29:52 Drew What's the deal?

1:29:53 Caller He gets really absorbed in like computer, video games, doesn't really help around with our child and the house.

1:30:03 Drew So you're going to show him?

1:30:04 Caller Huh?

1:30:05 Drew This is what women do.

1:30:06 Adam It's a little payback time.

1:30:07 Drew You're going to show him?

1:30:09 Caller Yeah, I guess. Yeah, but I know it's wrong. It's like, why do I do it?

1:30:14 Adam Well, who are you doing it with? Somebody, somebody you work with?

1:30:17 Caller A friend of mine's roommate.

1:30:19 Adam Uh-huh. And how...

1:30:21 Drew Is that a guy?

1:30:22 Caller He's 27.

1:30:24 Adam How often do you do this?

1:30:25 Caller I see him like twice a week.

1:30:28 Adam Twice a week?

1:30:29 Caller Wow.

1:30:30 Caller Yeah.

1:30:30 Adam Ambitious. And for how long? How long has this been going on?

1:30:35 Caller About four months.

1:30:36 Caller Sometimes I stay over there.

1:30:37 Caller Sometimes a couple hours.

1:30:40 Adam How do you stay over there?

1:30:40 Caller We don't really have sex. It's like we hang out and I don't know. Maybe it's more emotional.

1:30:47 Drew Do you have sex with them at all?

1:30:50 Caller Do I? Yeah.

1:30:51 Caller Yes, I have.

1:30:52 Drew Just not every time?

1:30:53 Caller Yeah.

1:30:53 Adam And how is it that you stay over? Do you live with your boyfriend?

1:30:58 Caller Yeah. Well, since it's a roommate of a friend, it's pretty easy to...

1:31:05 Drew It's easy to say I'm spending over the night over at Jill's house or what?

1:31:09 Caller Exactly, exactly.

1:31:11 Drew Really? That's kind of weird too. Your boyfriend's not like your fiancee. Hey, what do you mean?

1:31:16 Adam You've got eight months already gone?

1:31:18 Caller That's weird too. He doesn't call me when I'm gone.

1:31:21 Drew Is he a drug addict? Is he a drug addict?

1:31:23 Caller Uh, no.

1:31:24 Drew He doesn't smoke pot every day?

1:31:27 Caller Nope.

1:31:28 Adam No. Well, look. Okay, here's the thing.

1:31:31 Caller He's...

1:31:32 Drew He what?

1:31:33 Caller I said he's pretty straight and narrow, actually.

1:31:36 Adam Okay, he's depressed.

1:31:37 Drew Something. Yeah, something is really, really wrong.

1:31:40 Adam I would say he's just depressed. Hey, you sound marginally depressed yourself, not as bad as him. He's sort of immobilized.

1:31:46 Drew Something is... Something is very... Yeah, very wrong.

1:31:49 Adam Okay. You guys need to... All right. You need... I...

1:31:53 Drew Does he go to school?

1:31:54 Adam First off...

1:31:54 Caller Yeah, I do. We both do, actually, and both work, and then we have our two-year-old, and...

1:31:59 Drew Well, does the school have mental health services?

1:32:02 Caller You know, I've tried to get him to go to therapy with me, and he just... He refuses. He just doesn't think that...

1:32:07 Adam No!

1:32:08 Drew Well, here's the deal. The relationship can't last. Yeah, you gotta break it off if he won't participate.

1:32:13 Adam Yeah, and... And listen, listen...

1:32:15 Drew Well, he's not being a father such as it is, so...

1:32:17 Adam Listen, Mommy...

1:32:18 Drew And the chaos is no good for your kid.

1:32:20 Adam What are you doing sleeping over at a friend's house?

1:32:22 Drew You got an eight-month-old...

1:32:24 Adam I said eight months, but she said two. So let's call it 14.

1:32:27 Drew Perfect.

1:32:28 Adam The point is, is you're just crashing out at some friend's house, some friend's apartment. You're flopping on a futon. You got a kid at home.

1:32:36 Drew You're going to school and working. Who's with the kid?

1:32:41 Adam Let me tell you something, Drew, as I've told you many times when you tell me you're going to take three million dollars to put each one of your kids through a college. I keep telling you, there's huge swings in parenting. And it's sort of like there's the guys who own the dogs that take them to the dog park and throw the frisbee every day and knit them a sweater and get them a present for Easter. Give them like a giblets Easter bunny. And then there's ones who just, they put them in the backyard and they just, they shut the back door and that's it.

1:33:12 Drew There's some that put electric prod in the cage too.

1:33:14 Adam Yeah, there's those too. But I mean, there's just the ones that just say, just, yeah, the dog will raise themself.

1:33:19 Drew You've got to do some parenting. And the book I'm gonna recommend to you is called Parenting from the Inside Out by a guy named Siegel. And the time you don't spend with your kid, your kid needs at least a third of your day in your presence, and it is critical to the child's brain development.

1:33:32 Adam I hope it's a chick, should be a stripper. We'll take a quick break, we'll be right back. Well, that's the program, everybody. Thanks for tuning in, as per usual. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:34:23 Best Of This has been Loveline.

1:34:28 Caller The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Monday, March 28, 2005