Episode 1000702402993

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

1:01 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:04 Voiceover Sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

1:13 Voiceover This is Loveline.

1:17 Voiceover With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:20 Adam Hey, buddy, it's Loveline. Adam and Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LLVE191er. Dr. Drew, board certified physician and an addiction medicine specialist.

1:33 Drew How clear tonight.

1:34 Adam Yes.

1:34 Drew Clear and concise. Concise and well-executed. Elocution, yes.

1:39 Adam Thank you. I was, you know what I do on Sunday nights. Last night I watch 60 Minutes and I get angry about the world.

1:49 Drew Oh yeah.

1:49 Adam You know, and I was, I was watching, they re-ran that story on that 50 caliber super gun.

1:56 Drew Oh yeah, yeah.

1:56 Adam One that go through a half inch plate steel at one mile.

2:01 Drew Yeah.

2:01 Adam And of course you have the NRA A-holes that are like, hey this got it. No, are you kidding? You want to live in a country? Slippery slope. Slippery slope. First off, this thing, I don't know what, what, it's, you know, they always do that, hey, you could use it for hunting. You could use a grenade launcher for hunting too. You could use, you could use mines, magnetic mines, just throw them in a lake, bring up thousands of trout.

2:27 Drew There you go.

2:28 Adam Once, yeah. Yeah, anything you could kill with, I imagine you could use for hunting. I guess you could use mustard gas or sarin gas for hunting. You use a nuclear bomb for hunting.

2:39 Drew Exactly.

2:39 Adam It just, believe me, stuff dies when you use it, but it seems to me you don't need a gun that weighs 80 pounds that you gotta drag out into the woods. And you only need to kill the deer. You don't need to remove its head. Right. That's number one and number two.

2:55 Drew And clean it.

2:56 Adam And then number three, listen, if you're going back in time and you're going after a T-Rex or a certain dinosaur or maybe a woolly mammoth or something, that's something you don't need really for today's animals. 65 pound worth of deer is gonna work nicely with just a bolt action.

3:15 Drew Well, this country is focused on the important issues and feeding tubes for somebody that's brain dead. I had to listen to that tonight. I was so disturbed.

3:26 Adam Drew, you're playing God again, brother. You can't play God.

3:29 Drew I brought that up on the CNN.

3:30 Adam Put the tube back in her mouth.

3:32 Drew Who's playing God? Who's playing God? The one that keeps the tube in and sustains them? Or the one that lets nature take its course? Who's playing God?

3:39 Adam That's what I love. Drew and I were yelling about this on the ride home last night. Actually, Drew was the recipient of my rant on the way home. But yeah, they do that thing where it's like, you want to take her off the iron lung and pull the breathing tube and take the catheter out of her and let her die. Who decided you could play God? Me play God? She's a marionette. You're essentially animating her with electronics. She would have been from this period, 20 years before today, for the period, historically, of all human history, she would be dead in the first 20 minutes. Who's playing God?

4:17 Drew Do you know that she had brain death as a result of bulimia?

4:20 Adam Oh, really?

4:21 Drew Now, now, now listen, the family fighting to keep the tube in.

4:25 Adam Control.

4:26 Drew Doesn't it just go right into focus now?

4:28 Adam She's been on, she's been on this feeding tube for 15 years.

4:32 Drew She is, and what killed me, they had doctors going on saying, oh, she'll be able to move her arms with a little physical therapy somewhere. She's dechordic posturing, de-cerebrate posture. She will never have motor function.

4:44 Adam Never.

4:45 Drew There's no brain there to create that function.

4:48 Adam I'll give you 15 years to make a move. If you haven't made the move in 15 years, I mean, if you've been staring at the same spot in the ceiling for 15 years, I think it's okay to pull the tube out. And I like the fact, by the way, that we're considered cruel, the ones who want to pull the tube out.

5:04 Drew By the way, they're going to keep the tube in so she can die of bed sores. Basically, that's what will happen. She'll die of wounds from the pressure of the bed eroding into her body and things. That's how these people die.

5:15 Adam Now, here's the thing. The folks that are worried about her getting the breathing tube pulled out of...

5:22 Drew It's not even breathing. It was feeding tube.

5:23 Adam Yeah, the feeding tube pulled out of basically the yam that is staring at the ceiling for the last 15 years. Look, it's a sad situation. I'm not saying it isn't sad. People die every day. I'm saying give her the dignity of dying, please. But here's the thing. The same people that want to keep the feeding tube in her are the same people that want to keep the 50 caliber super gun legal, accessible, and available to all Americans with just showing of a driver's license and who don't want a database of the people who buy it. Same guy. Same guy. Same guy in both issues. What is it? So yeah, the sanctity of life is paramount. On the other hand, why shouldn't the guy get the gun that can take down a commercial aircraft? Who are we to step in the way? Can't play God, can we? Hypocrites, idiots. And then the ACLU and all the left wingers are just as bad. But also the guy who wants to put the feeding tube back in is the number one guy who's championing the death penalty.

6:27 Drew Oh yeah, death penalty.

6:27 Adam Guns and death penalty. Now, the number one guy for death penalties, he's also the number one guy who put the tube back in her mouth. That's an interesting guy, isn't it? That's range. They would argue it's not.

6:39 Drew I'm just so disturbed that they can get so called experts to say that her brain is functioning. It's just no EEG activity. Yeah. No structural brain left. It's just, oh, it could be a miracle. Could be Adam, could be a miracle. It could be, it could be.

6:52 Adam Yeah. Any day now, any day, the rapture is coming and Terri Schiavo is coming, she's going to snap out of it and start doing.

7:01 Drew Impossible. It's not possible.

7:04 Adam True. It's only been 15 years. Give her a break.

7:07 Drew People don't understand what that is. She might as well come back from the dead.

7:12 Adam There'll be more probable a freshman in junior college when she originally went under. Please. That's a long time ago. It's 15 years. That's right. That's right, bud. 45.

7:23 Drew Alright.

7:23 Adam Yeah. She's coming back.

7:24 Drew I gotta make some plugs.

7:25 Adam Keep her going.

7:26 Drew I'm looking for couples for television who have lost their desire to have sex or had difficulty with their sex life since having a baby. Men and women, please call and we will take you for television. Here we go.

7:37 Adam Yeah. You can't play God. Sanctity of life. No. Oh, wait a minute. Kill the black guys. They're on death row.

7:43 Yeah.

7:43 Adam Put them down. Put a bullet in their head.

7:45 Okay.

7:45 Adam Oh, give the guy the.50 caliper. Gun. And that's fine. And then, and then here's the, all right. Here's all I'm saying, Drew. The right is making me sick. The left makes me sick. Is there any sane middle ground that we can all just join, join in on?

8:01 Drew It doesn't seem to have a big following right now.

8:04 Adam It's, it's not, it's a majority, but it's not very vocal. Yeah.

8:08 Drew It's being swept along.

8:09 Adam Here's, here's, here's all I'm saying. I think the majority of Americans do not want a firearm that has no, no use really for hunting or if it does, you're insane because there's thousands of other firearms.

8:22 Drew At least they want to know who's got them. They just want to know who's got them.

8:25 Adam I would argue that most Americans, when I say most, I mean 95 percent of Americans do not want a gun that can be used to take down a commercial aircraft or assassinate a president through his armored limousine, just sold on the open market.

8:41 Drew As many as they please.

8:42 Adam As many as they please with no checking. Okay, that's the majority of Americans. I would also say that the majority of Americans would like to die with dignity if they ever had a horrible brain injury and were rendered a vegetable for 15 years. That's the majority of Americans as well. Are we going to see either one of those things happen? No. I think the majority of Americans would like DNA testing for death row prisoners to get a few unsolved cases off the books. Is that going to happen? No. I think the majority of Americans would like some form, something different than what we have at the airport as far as security now. Maybe something that involved a little bit of profiling. Yeah. You see the steely-eyed guy from the Middle East in his 30s with the beard down his waist in a six-foot-high turbine. I think talking to that guy for an extra five minutes would be okay with most Americans. These are all things I think we would all agree on if it was put to a vote. But does it work that way?

9:42 Drew No.

9:43 Adam No. You know why? Lobby groups, NRA, don't represent anybody, but powerful lobbies, they give a lot of money and the politicians are scared assless to do anything about it. So we get the 50-caliber gun that can take an airplane down. Fantastic, everybody. Again, does this represent us? Do you know anybody that wants this? The slippery slope people, I'd like to just send you or throw you all in the volcano. Yes. Slippery slope. Yeah, I don't know. No, no, here's the thing, here's the thing. You make daddy legal and next year you know, they're coming, they're coming to your house and-

10:21 Drew Kid's pop gun? They're taking away.

10:22 Adam Taking kid's pop gun away.

10:23 Drew Taking away. For having a pop gun.

10:24 Adam What is that, a leather man? Give me that. Take it away. Your wife won't be able to use tweezers to pluck her eyebrows. She has huge eyebrows. Yeah.

10:33 Drew Yeah.

10:33 Adam Slippery slope. And again, you let them pull the feeding tube out of Terri Schiavo. And what's to stop them from killing perfectly healthy people?

10:42 Drew Nothing. It's the same thing. How's it different, Adam?

10:44 Adam There's no difference. There's no difference, Drew. She's been staring at the same spot in the ceiling for 15 years. She's got a feeding tube. And your 12-year-old goes in to get a physical to play pop order football. Doctor loads him up with sodium benzate and puts a pillow on his head. Takes him out.

11:02 Drew What's the difference? There's no difference. Nothing we can do about it.

11:03 Adam There's nothing we can do.

11:04 Drew Because it's the same thing. We can't convict him.

11:07 Adam Can't convict him. Nothing.

11:09 Drew We set a precedent. A slippery slope, I tell you.

11:11 Adam I'll tell you. There would not be a doctor out there that wasn't killing his patients.

11:16 Drew Yeah, why not?

11:16 Adam Yeah, I don't care if you went in for bunions. He'll take you out. Sure.

11:19 Drew What's for venom?

11:20 Adam Nothing. A slippery slope, Drew. You understand? You won't be able to use a knife or fork in your own home because it could be used as a weapon if we don't get that.50 caliber gun. And our kids would just be snuffed out by their doctors. Pediatricians. Probably never take your kids home from the hospital. You'd be born into the doctor's arms, he'd drop kick the kid right out the third story window, right into the dumpster. There you go. Kill you. That's all they do. Doctors go on a killing spray. Slippery slope. Slippery slope. And then you know what happened? You'd go to the doctor and tell him you were a little depressed. He'd just put a shotgun in your mouth, blow your head off. Nothing you could do. People would just be killing people willy-nilly. That's how it would work. Very slippery slope, Drew. Super slippery. Joy?

12:03 Hello?

12:04 Adam Yeah, 21. Based on the slippery slope retarded idea, we can never do anything.

12:08 Drew Right. Because everything is slippery slope.

12:09 Adam Because it could all be extrapolated 10 million times over into something that might eventually be bad. Fantastic. Joy?

12:17 Yeah. Okay. Um.

12:19 Drew By the way, when did rhetoric become fact?

12:21 Adam I have no idea. What, Drew? What's rhetoric?

12:24 Drew Rhetoric means persuasion.

12:25 Adam I know what rhetoric is, but yeah, I don't know why. When did retarded arguments become acceptable?

12:30 Drew That's what I'm saying.

12:30 Adam And who's doing the interviewing? And how come no one ever says, are you high? What do you mean?

12:34 Drew Yes.

12:35 Adam Because they always do that.

12:36 Drew Yes.

12:36 Adam And no one ever calls them on it. Go ahead, Joy. Sorry.

12:40 Uh, the other day, I actually, um, pulled a muscle in my back. This is what I was told. I actually sneezed and like, something pulled in my back and I have scoliosis. So I'm worried that this might actually be from, um, like a sexually related injury. And I wonder if it could possibly get any worse, like-

12:58 Drew Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

13:00 Adam You pulled a muscle in your back.

13:01 Drew You have scoliosis, you sneeze, and what does that have to do with sex?

13:04 Well, okay. My boyfriend, when we have sex, he likes to, like, put my legs up, like, over my head, because I'm pretty flexible even though I do have scoliosis. But, like, after a while, it starts to hurt.

13:16 Drew Yeah, no kidding. You have your ankles with your ears. That's supposed to hurt.

13:20 Adam Yeah, but at the ears, that's the second last.

13:23 Drew Second time around.

13:23 Adam It's going around twice. Yeah, sure. Yeah.

13:26 So, I'm wondering if this is, like, a lot, because it's never happened to me before. Usually, I'll have, like, muscle spasms or something like that, but this was completely out of the blue. I just woke up and...

13:39 Adam Well, that happens. But, Joy, scoliosis. I used to hear more about scoliosis than I do now. Doesn't everyone have some mild form of it?

13:49 Drew Yes, very common.

13:50 Adam Do you have to wear a brace or anything?

13:52 No, I'm actually going to have to start wearing one when I go to work, but...

13:58 Drew No, no, no, that's a different thing.

13:59 Adam You work at Home Depot, and that's just a lower back thing.

14:02 Drew That's a back support.

14:03 Yeah, no, I just have, like, a regular, one of those little snap braces. I don't have, like, one of those metal things that they put on.

14:08 Drew Yeah, no, they don't really do that anymore, to my knowledge.

14:10 Adam Where do you work, by the way?

14:11 I'm a waitress.

14:13 Adam Aha, at Home Depot?

14:15 No, I work for a hotel.

14:17 Adam Okay, hey, so here's the thing. This sneeze and back pull probably had nothing to do with your boyfriend. On the other hand, if he's putting pressure on you, tell him to lighten up a little bit.

14:27 Drew That and the fact that you're a waitress and lifting things, you're going to be 21 now. People get low back problems, pretty much everybody at some point.

14:33 So I'm pretty much just getting old.

14:35 Drew Yeah, you do more stretching, relax, it's a strange back strain, watch your posture.

14:39 Adam Yoga.

14:40 Drew Walking is good for the muscle and soft tissue and just the back.

14:43 Adam It is?

14:43 Drew Yeah, do some walking.

14:45 Adam I'm going to do some yoga. Yeah. Getting that down dog position. Boyfriend, hop right on you. Being the bone dog position. To that yoga.

14:56 Drew The back dog.

14:57 Adam Yoga sounds ridiculous, but it stretches you out.

15:01 Drew Yep.

15:01 Adam I'm convinced that when I'm on my death bed, the one thing I wish I would have done, maybe learn to read, would be more stretching. Just stretching. You can never argue with more stretching. You got to stretch more. Yeah?

15:15 Drew Yep. You're right.

15:15 Adam Everyone should stretch.

15:17 True.

15:17 Adam Yeah.

15:19 Yeah.

15:20 Adam Seventeen? What's up?

15:23 Like, I've always dated older guys, and every guy I've ever dated has fallen in love with me within two weeks.

15:31 Drew How many guys has that been?

15:33 Huh?

15:33 Drew How many guys has that been?

15:35 Like, maybe 50.

15:37 Drew Fifty?

15:38 Yeah.

15:40 Adam Now, you're seventeen. Yeah. They've said, I love you, times fifty guys.

15:47 They've like all, they say the same things, starting to say at the same time. Like, I can predict what they're going to say before they say it.

15:53 Drew What do they say?

15:54 They're just like, they're like, they tell me that I'm like just so special, and they can't figure it out what it is about me, but they want to spend the rest of their life with me, and all this other stuff.

16:05 Adam And this is 50 guys.

16:09 Probably somewhere around that.

16:10 Drew Anything we should know about the guys?

16:11 Adam Hold on, hold on a second.

16:14 Drew 50 is actually 8. She's a 17 year old.

16:17 Adam I was going to say, if she got to 11 guys, what is it with women?

16:23 Drew Well, it's just 17 year olds.

16:24 Adam All right, but what is it with the guesstimation and the estimation? Allie, we're talking about 9 guys, not 50 guys.

16:33 No, like I had to like, I've had to be the parent. My parents got divorced when I was 13. And like since then, I've basically been taking care of my mom and stuff. Like when I was 15, we were living in Oklahoma and I had to get a job and stuff to support my mom. And so I really had to grow up. And then like right before I turned 16, I was raped and have a baby from it.

16:54 Oh, oh, oh, and like...

16:56 Adam Oh, hold on. Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

16:59 You're gone?

17:00 Well, and then like since then, I graduated from high school my junior year and I'm a bank teller now. And like I've been dating a lot. Like I've been trying, you know, to find Mr. Right or whatever, but it's like...

17:12 Adam Do you have sex with these? Do you have sex with these guys? No.

17:16 Drew Well, let's just do the math. You say it takes them two weeks to say, I love you.

17:19 Yeah.

17:20 Drew So let's see, do that times 30, we have 60 weeks. That's more weeks than you've been as a bank teller.

17:26 Well, yeah.

17:28 Drew Okay, so it can't even be 30 guys. It can't be 30 guys even.

17:31 Adam Okay, well...

17:32 Well, I've been dating before. Like I've been...

17:34 Adam All right. Let's just say it's been a bunch of guys.

17:37 Yeah.

17:39 Adam All right. So you're so beautiful and you're so magnetic that can't stay away from you. What do you want from us?

17:46 I want to know like how to... I don't want them to fall in love with me.

17:51 Adam Well, don't date them then.

17:53 Well, yeah, but I don't want to be single the rest of my life.

17:56 Drew Do you only date guys that ask you out?

17:59 No. I've dated guys that I've asked out.

18:02 Drew And those guys react the same way?

18:03 Yeah. I've dated way older guys.

18:04 Adam Hold on.

18:05 Look.

18:06 Adam You're 17.

18:07 Caller Yeah.

18:08 Adam Just because you had a kid when you were 15 doesn't mean you're an old maid now. Well, no. I know.

18:14 Drew What's the hurry, in other words?

18:16 Caller Well, it's not really that, but it's like just, I'm tired of being lonely and stuff. And I like, I want to find somebody that I like have a good connection with who doesn't fall in love with me in two weeks.

18:28 Adam Who? Well, look, first off, who raped you at 14 or 15?

18:34 Caller Well, I have been raped two weeks before I turned 16. I know his name. I don't really know who he was. He was like a friend of a friend of a friend.

18:42 Drew Was it a date rape passing?

18:43 Caller No, like we were hanging out in town and we were supposed to go to a party and I was supposed to go with my friend. But like she went to go get gas and never came back and like left me there and I had no way to get back to my car. And he was supposed to give me a ride back to my car. And it was way out in the boonies in Oklahoma. And so he just raped me in his truck.

19:04 Adam You never told anybody? No, like I was like I'm comfortable talking about it. And he doesn't know he has a kid?

19:12 Caller He does and like I guess he doesn't care.

19:15 Adam How about you get some money from him?

19:17 Caller Because I make more money than he would.

19:20 Drew Yeah, but he still has a responsibility to pay.

19:24 Adam He can always use a hundred extra 180 bucks a month, right?

19:28 Caller Yeah, I guess. But then I don't really want my daughter to be a part of his life.

19:33 Drew That doesn't matter. You just go, you just collect Palimony.

19:35 Adam Yeah. All right. Well, anyway, here's the thing. Obviously, there's issues going on with you. I don't really understand your predicament. There's guys that all guys who meet you fall in love with you, but you don't want them to fall in love with you, and they're not the guys you want to fall in love with you.

19:55 Drew It's got to be just the guy you're selecting.

19:56 Adam It's like you're calling up, you're saying, I have too much money to spend on a car. I don't know which one to get. Help me. Big deal. Unless you can help us a little more, this isn't really a problem, the fact that every guy you date falls in love with you.

20:09 Caller I've dated all sorts of guys, all sorts of ages, and it happens every time.

20:14 Adam Yeah, yeah, you're super hot stuff. What do you want us to say?

20:17 Caller That's the whole thing. I'm not.

20:19 Adam Well, good. Then why don't you just fall in love with a guy who falls in love with you and call it a life?

20:25 Caller Because I haven't fallen in love with one of them.

20:28 Adam All right, you're 17 and you have issues involving your dad that's going to prevent you from doing these things.

20:35 Drew The problem isn't so much that there's these guys that are falling in love with you is that you have no reciprocal feelings for them. You don't seem to have any feelings for anybody. And you use the fact that they get so quickly involved and so intensely involved rapidly that you can't get involved with them. Don't date for six months.

20:48 Adam I know. You're lonely or whatever. How about some female friends?

20:51 Drew Yes, that would be much better for you. I don't like women, though. Well, we know.

20:56 Adam Ally, you have any girlfriends?

20:58 Caller Yeah.

20:59 Adam All right. Why don't you hang out with them a little bit and just act seventeen?

21:03 Caller I do. I do. Like, I have done a lot.

21:05 Adam Okay.

21:06 Drew Keep doing that.

21:07 Adam The next guy, make sure you like him before you go on the first date.

21:11 Drew Yeah. Don't date guys you're not very interested in. Be much more picky.

21:17 Adam Okay. There's no answer to this question. You date multiple guys, they always fall in love with you. What do you want us to do?

21:23 Drew Very, very careful. Go in realizing that if they're going to be that way, it better be somebody you're interested in.

21:27 Adam How about you break a battery over your head and scar yourself?

21:31 Drew I'll make a prediction now. The guy that you go in with the expectation, because you're interested in him and you know that you're going to be liking him when he comes around to fall in love with you in two weeks, that will be the guy that magically doesn't fall in love with you.

21:44 Adam Right.

21:45 Drew Magically. So you sabotage.

21:48 Adam Who, you're talking to me?

21:49 Drew You. Yeah.

21:49 Adam Yeah. I sabotage. Where are we going here, Drew?

21:52 Drew Annie.

21:53 Adam Annie?

21:54 Hi.

21:55 Adam Annie, 18, what's up?

21:57 All right.

21:57 Caller Well, here's my problem, gentlemen. Good to be on the phone with you.

22:00 Adam Great talking to you, Annie.

22:03 Caller My boyfriend and I had great sex. And when I go home or whatever, I usually come during sex. And then if I'm whacking off myself, I would never be able to...

22:15 Drew So hold on a second. Hold on a second. Adam.

22:18 Adam Whacking yourself off?

22:19 Drew I'm female whacking off.

22:21 Caller I like that.

22:23 Adam No, no, I like that. I like it when women say, give me head, too. It's aggressive, but it's becoming.

22:31 Caller All right, go ahead, Annie.

22:32 Caller All right. Well, anyway, so we have great sex. But then if I was by myself and I was masturbating, I wouldn't be able to come picturing his face. Well, recently, he's lost a lot of weight. Probably about 45 pounds. He was a football player.

22:46 Adam Hold on. You would be able to come picturing his face?

22:49 Drew I wouldn't.

22:50 Caller I wouldn't be able to come picturing us together.

22:54 Drew Why did you throw that in? What's the meaning of that?

22:56 Adam He's picturing his face. What's the sin of distracting?

22:58 Caller Well, I mean, I couldn't visualize us together. I'd always have to visualize a different person with me.

23:03 Drew Okay. All right. Why?

23:05 Caller I don't know. But recently, he's lost like 45 pounds, slimmed down. He's really cut up now. And I can come masturbating like when I'm picturing him, like picturing us together and it's great. But when I'm together, I can't come at all.

23:20 Drew What do you think that is?

23:21 Caller I haven't come in the last two months. That's what I'm wondering. I'm wondering if his weight has anything to do with it, like sexual pleasure?

23:26 Adam She misses his stretch marks.

23:29 Drew Did he have a part of his body that sort of hit you in the right way, in the right place?

23:32 Adam His man boob used to rub on her.

23:34 Caller Well, he was a football player. He was a fullback. He was always muscular. He lost a lot of the weight after taking creatine shakes and whatnot. So after the football season was over. I'm wondering, is the penis long?

23:46 Adam Well, maybe you...

23:49 Well, all right.

23:51 Adam Let's try to work this out. Maybe you like the extra sort of thrust behind him.

23:59 Drew Maybe you felt safer with the big, you know, being wrapped in the big...

24:03 Adam Well, let me ask you a question. Is your dad a big guy?

24:06 Caller Yeah.

24:09 Adam Yeesh. No, no, not yeesh. What's that?

24:13 Caller Let's hope not. I don't think so.

24:14 Adam No, no, here's the thing. The reason I asked if your dad was a big guy, and Drew, if I ever asked if someone's dad was a big guy.

24:20 Drew Never asked that.

24:23 Adam I got the vibe that she's just attracted to a sort of manly man.

24:30 Caller That's the thing is, I wasn't attracted, like, when I masturbate, that's the thing, like, I wasn't attracted to it.

24:36 Adam Yeah, but look, you were having an orgasm when the guy was on top of you.

24:39 Drew Is there something?

24:40 Caller No, no, I only come when I'm on top.

24:43 Adam All right, well, sorry. The point is, is the guy was in you, and you were having an orgasm. Yes, very good. When he was at his playing weight. The point here, and I'm going to talk to Drew for a second. I get the vibe that Annie, she's from Minnesota.

25:00 Drew Yeah.

25:01 Adam Cold climate.

25:02 Drew Yeah.

25:02 Adam She must have a little extra girth in that climate.

25:04 Drew You sure?

25:04 Adam I get the vibe, and God bless her, because so many of these chicks are into these, just a little spindly sort of drawn sort of these pouty little pretty heroine boys, you know, and I like a chick that likes a girthy.

25:20 Drew The substantial.

25:21 Adam Substantial guy. Yeah. They're throwback chicks.

25:24 Drew Yeah.

25:25 Adam I get the feeling her dad was a big guy. I think she liked her dad or felt secure with him or felt like he was a good dad. And part of being a dad is that big guy, the big thigh you can hang on to or hide behind when you're four years old. You're right. And I'm just think that she's, that's her idea of male.

25:43 Drew Or safety or something.

25:44 Adam Safety and sexuality. And for women, the sexuality is all over the place. But her idea of security and her idea of a man is a big, strong, girthy guy. Well, I want to see if she likes her dad. Annie?

25:59 Caller Yeah.

25:59 Adam Do you like your dad?

26:01 Caller Not at all. That's what I was listening to and I was like, that's interesting because we don't have a very good relationship.

26:06 Adam Uh-uh. What happened? Why not?

26:08 Caller Well, nothing. He's just a workaholic. Like, we don't get to see him much and it's usually my mom who's kind of the glue that holds our family together.

26:15 Adam Hmm. Interesting.

26:16 Caller So, like, I mean, we have a decent relationship. It's a working relationship, but it's definitely not, like, I'm not a daddy's girl.

26:23 Drew See, I don't have a vibe on her. I can't figure it out.

26:26 Adam But you do like a strong man and this guy's...

26:30 Caller I mean, he's maintained the same strength. He's just slimmed out. I mean, he had it.

26:34 Drew Do you think there's something you were able to press on when he was bigger that you just can't get?

26:38 Caller I'm wondering, like, is the penis enlarged? Is it more erect when you're a larger...

26:43 Drew No, it's the other way around. It's the other way around. But there's more mound there to push your perineum into, you know what I mean? To hit some spots, maybe.

26:52 Adam More mound by the pound. All right, look, who cares? The guy looks better with the shirt off. You guys will work it out.

26:59 Drew It's a weird thing. I think you maybe got to work it out.

27:01 Adam I haven't given you a little oral.

27:03 Drew Then it will be good.

27:04 Adam And here's the thing with chicks. You having issues with dad, and dad being a big guy, but you're not particularly like him.

27:11 Drew It's going to be all over the place.

27:12 Adam That could help the orgasm. It's just like if you're a victim of rape or whatever it is, you want to relive those situations in the bedroom. Women, you know what you are? You're like a roulette ball. Who the hell knows what slot you're going to get? Somebody gave the roulette wheel a mighty spin and that ball just bounces around.

27:35 Drew By the way, it changes moment to moment day to day.

27:37 Adam It's just a hop and all over the place. We're like a conveyor belt with the same product just coming down and over and over and over again.

27:48 Drew It's like the belt you put your food on to get to the cashier.

27:52 Adam Once in a while the belt speeds up a little. Sometimes it slows down a little. Sometimes it stops.

27:57 Drew That's it.

27:57 You hear that brrrr.

27:59 Adam Then you got to go something jammed or something. But it's just the same belt with the same product on it. Speeds up, slows down, stop, breaks it down, but it just keeps going. That's it. That's it. All right. We'll take a break. We'll be right back after this. Yeah, buddy, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-L-V-E-1-9-1-ER.

28:28 Drew I'm still looking for couples who've had a drop in their sex life since having a kid. I'm particularly interested in women that have a biological drop where their libido goes away. Want to please call in, want to talk to them.

28:39 Adam All right. You ready to rock?

28:40 Drew Let's go. Talk to Erica.

28:42 Adam Erica?

28:43 Drew Yep.

28:44 Adam Sixteen?

28:45 Drew Yep.

28:46 Adam What's up, baby doll?

28:48 Caller Okay. My boyfriend and I, I don't really want to ask him for sex all the time because I know that he's not one of those people that likes human contact all the time.

29:01 Drew What's that mean?

29:02 Caller Well, he likes cuddling and stuff, but he's not somebody who loves having sex all the time.

29:11 Drew How old is he? Eighty? How old is he?

29:15 Caller He's eighteen.

29:16 Adam Whoa.

29:17 Drew What?

29:18 Adam Drew, you understand, Drew is the ambassador of passion, of passionia. Okay. He's the ambassador of passionia, which is a mythical island on a sea of semen. He doesn't understand this at all and at eighteen. Mine, Boggling.

29:41 Caller What?

29:42 Drew Erica?

29:42 Caller Yep.

29:44 Adam We got that crappy phone line.

29:45 Drew Yeah, Erica?

29:46 Caller Yeah.

29:48 Drew There she is. Is she on medication?

29:50 Caller No, I am.

29:51 You are, for bipolar?

29:54 Caller No, not quite bipolar, but I mean, I know that I'm getting there, because other people say that I am, but...

30:00 Drew Okay.

30:01 Caller I'm just on depression medications right now.

30:03 Drew Okay, so being bipolar can be one of the reasons that you're very, very sexual.

30:09 Caller Well, I don't know. It's probably two or three, but I mean, normally, I mean, before, like, I met him, it was way more. And now that I met him, my sex drive went down a little bit because I understand him.

30:25 Adam Yeah. Okay. Here's the thing. There's a few, few reasons. First off, all guys have a different sexual metronome. Drew's over here, his weight is slid all the way down to the bottom. And it's like tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. Some guys are like tick, tick, tick. So also, though, when guys, when their spidey sense starts tingling and they realize the chick's a little nutty.

30:52 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

30:52 Adam And put a little pressure on them. Weird. Sometimes they recoil.

30:56 Also, draw a little bit.

30:58 Drew I'm picking up on Erica's. She sort of presents herself as the average person, but I think there's something really going on with her. And then the guy that would be with that also got to really have something going on. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So let's kind of explore that a little bit. Okay.

31:11 Adam That's sometimes. And then there's just the stupid 18-year-old guy just caught up and realizes somebody's nutty.

31:17 Drew Yeah, I agree with you on that.

31:18 Adam Erica?

31:18 Caller Yep.

31:19 Adam Is there more to you than meets the ear?

31:23 Caller Yeah, there is, actually.

31:25 Drew Are you like in a group home or something?

31:26 Caller No, I'm not. I have a, I guess, it's not too good a relationship with my mom, but my dad and I have a really, really good relationship. And I have a perfectly fine relationship with the rest of my family. It's just my mom and I don't really get along that much.

31:45 Adam That's not enough, though. What else is going on? Being in high school?

31:51 Caller No, I'm not, actually.

31:53 Adam Oh, you're 16. Why not?

31:55 Caller Because I got held back.

31:57 Drew And then you just dropped out?

31:58 Caller No, I didn't, actually. I'm in, I guess you could say I'm in high school, but I actually take a night school class because I don't really like getting up early in the morning.

32:10 Drew What kind of behavior problems do you have?

32:14 Caller It's just when people start questioning my attitude and what I'm doing, I really don't like that.

32:20 Drew What kind of things were you doing? What kind of things were you doing?

32:23 Caller Well, it's just like when my parents don't like what I'm doing.

32:28 Drew What kind of things were you doing, Erica?

32:32 Caller Well, what do you mean by what kind of things?

32:34 Adam Well, what got you into trouble?

32:38 Caller Normally, what gets me in trouble is me just wanting to leave and go down to my boyfriend's house.

32:43 Caller Because he lives right down the road from me.

32:45 Caller And I mean, I like going down there and hanging out with him and his sister and his parents.

32:49 Drew And what's his? Is he going to high school?

32:51 Caller No, actually, he graduated early.

32:54 Drew Yeah. What's he doing now?

32:56 He's...

32:58 Drew Right now?

32:59 Caller Right now?

33:01 Drew No, right this second. I mean, what's he doing with himself, generally?

33:04 Caller He is... I just got back from his house, actually, and he's playing pool with a friend of his.

33:09 Drew Yeah. At that end of him, he's playing pool.

33:11 Adam All right. And he's a professional hustler? Or what's he do for a living?

33:16 Caller No, he's going to college to be a car mechanic, actually.

33:19 Drew College to be a car mechanic?

33:21 Adam I see. Hold on a second.

33:23 Drew So these things unravel when you start to think about it.

33:26 Adam So first off, I used to think graduating high school early was a good thing. Now I'm realizing if you're not the Eastern Indian or Asian, you graduated from high school early. When I used to see graduate high school early, I pictured the 14-year-old Asian prodigy who played the cello.

33:45 Drew Right. There is that. That exists.

33:47 Adam Yeah.

33:47 Drew But that's not who we're talking to.

33:48 Not on this show.

33:49 Adam It's the Hesher guy. He didn't get along well with his counselor and the vice principal and took the SAP.

33:56 Drew And just painted the picture of Erica dressing in black, angry, not driving class, mouthing off to the teacher, bipolar, trauma survivors.

34:06 Adam She could only have sex with her boyfriend three times a week.

34:07 Drew Fighting with the mom, believe me, not getting along with the mom. What do you hear what's in that? I mean, that's going to be like wholesale bitch.

34:12 Adam Erica, you got bigger fish to fry than a mechanic boyfriend that only wants to give it to you three times a week. Well, you got issues here.

34:21 Caller He, I know that he wants it more than he actually shows.

34:27 Adam Okay, but here's the thing, Erica. How about you stop rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic here and start focusing on your life? I mean, you have a boyfriend, you're having regular sex. Let's go ahead and put a check by that box and now try to figure out what you're going to do with the rest of your life in terms of employment, education, not fighting with your mom, all that stuff.

34:51 Caller Well, the reason why I'm so vocally involved with my mom is because I'm in three different speech and debate classes and I'm going to graduate. I'm probably going to go to a law school.

35:02 Drew Yeah, first you got to go to college.

35:04 Adam You're not even going to high school.

35:06 Drew What's your plan, Erica? You got to get with reality here.

35:09 Adam Yeah, you plan on going to Stanford and getting a free ride for like a volleyball scholarship and you're going pre-law and you haven't even, you're not even in high school?

35:19 Caller I'm in an alternative high school.

35:20 Drew Yeah, but Erica.

35:23 Adam Let me tell you some. Engineer Chris, sit up and enjoy this for a second because as much vitriol as I have for junior college, where do we get to alternative high school?

35:32 Drew Well, now that, I mean, there are no schools.

35:34 Adam In flip-flop, smoking, calling your teachers by their first name is not an education, Missy.

35:39 Drew But what college is going to take that as? And she failed out of high school.

35:42 Adam No, you're not going anywhere. What are you doing? You're going to study law. Please.

35:50 Drew That's okay, but she's got to get going.

35:52 Adam Get back into the mainstream of the high school over there. Graduate, take your SATs and do all that stuff and start applying at colleges.

36:00 Caller I only have a week to go until I get into normal high school.

36:03 Drew Good. Get with the program. Stop wearing black, stop mouthing off. Be a model student and maybe you'll get in somewhere good. That'd be great.

36:11 Adam Yeah, here's the, here's the, it's the delusional part of this that we don't respond to.

36:17 Drew I know. I fight with my mom because I'm on the speech and debate team. No, please.

36:21 Adam And because I'm on the, because me and my mom go at it verbally every other day and I call her the C word, I'm going to eventually pursue, I may be on the Supreme Court one day because of my overuse of the C word when we're arguing in the minivan on the way to Circle K.

36:40 Drew Yeah.

36:40 Adam Here's the thing, everybody. I was a horrible high school student, but I knew I was a loser. I didn't have any delusions of grandeur. I got out of high school, I cleaned carpets. You just, here's the thing, if you're a horrible student, you know, if you're carrying a D average, you're not taking the SATs, you're not applying anywhere, that's fine. What will motivate you to get it together is to say, whoa, I'm in trouble here. I got to start focusing. You're just going, hey, I'm going to law school. When you're going to an alternative school, that's not realistic. And it sort of stops you from doing the work.

37:19 Drew It's fine that you want to do those things, but get focused on the here and now. It's very focused on...

37:24 Adam I got to say, okay, I don't want to sound like Pops and Rolla, but I just got to say everybody with their proclamations about what they're going to be doing, I'm going to be a recording artist, I'm going to be a rap star, I'm going to be a professional basketball player, I'm going to be a lawyer. No, no, no, no, and no. It's not that those positions won't be filled by somebody, but you having the sex-a-thon on the Burt Rust colored carpet and your boyfriend's trailer and duking it out with your mom, going to alternative school, you ain't on that list.

37:58 Drew Not with that pedigree. You could become, you could get on that list.

38:02 Adam Yeah, it's, it's, even the people that work hard and try like hell don't often get the opportunity to be lawyers, doctors, or what have you. You ain't even going to get a chance to try. Yeah, I really don't like this whole, you can do anything you want. We're feeding kids this line of crap, but you do anything you want. You can be anybody. Don't let anyone ever tell you, I'd rather just say, you know what, you're probably not going to be this unless you bust your hump. That's a little more realistic, right?

38:33 Drew Yeah, you can be anything you want if you bust your hump. And excel all the way. Keep excelling.

38:37 Adam And then there's, don't let anyone ever tell you you can't do something, so when your application isn't accepted to Stanford because you have a 1.2 GPA and you got 14, not a 1400, just straight 14 on the SAT, now you're mad at the guy who denied the application. Oh, getting away my dream. I'll show you. All right, everybody, let's get realistic. Chris, what do you got, one math class over there?

39:02 Caller No, one biology.

39:03 Drew One biology now, we got to talk about this.

39:05 Adam Yeah, oh, labs coming up.

39:07 Caller Yep, that's right.

39:07 Adam I failed biology in high school, I could still probably help you.

39:11 Caller I got a C in high school. Oh, really?

39:13 Adam Yeah.

39:14 Drew How are you doing in this class?

39:15 Caller Okay.

39:16 Drew What are you studying?

39:17 Adam Well, let me explain what the C is.

39:18 Caller Molecules.

39:20 Adam I hope, oh, hold on, we're getting to it. Let me explain the C you got in biology in high school. The teacher knew it was Latin, so he said, did I fail? The teacher went, C. And he took that as getting a C.

39:33 Drew That's a C. Technically, it's a C.

39:35 Adam He was just confirming that you failed the class. I had that problem too. Yeah. All right. Let's take ourselves a little break. We'll be back with Ryan. Why does he go limp when a girl wants to have sex? He can't seal the deal after this. Yeah, buddy, it's Loveline and Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1-er. Ryan on the line. You want to ask engineer Chris what he's studying in biology?

40:15 Drew Yeah, what are you studying in biology?

40:17 Caller Molecules.

40:18 Drew What about them?

40:20 Caller You know, like how stuff breaks down and stuff like that, you know, inside your head.

40:24 Drew I can't get a very clear picture of what he's learning.

40:27 Adam Come on, buddy. Gotta see. I'm telling you, I gotta fail. And I failed biology.

40:31 Caller Really?

40:32 Adam Yeah, and they made me take science, which is, you know, talk about stigma for tards. Yeah.

40:38 Drew So what are you studying? What enzymes?

40:40 Caller Enzymes. There you go.

40:41 Drew Enzymes. So Michaelis-Menten's kinetics? Sure.

40:44 Caller No, I don't know that, but enzymes.

40:46 Drew How enzymes work, what the energy kinetics are in enzymes. Right, right.

40:49 Yeah.

40:52 Caller I'll bring my book in.

40:53 Drew That'd be great.

40:54 Adam Yeah.

40:54 Drew What else?

40:55 Adam And by the way, the book is probably like from the fifties, has a picture of like Sputnik on the front of it. Crazy blown up molecule pictures and this that guy with his hair slicked back and the horn rim glasses, molecules in you front. Yeah. How new is the book?

41:13 Drew Miracles with Molecules.

41:14 Caller I think it's this year.

41:16 Really?

41:16 Caller Yeah.

41:17 Wow.

41:17 Adam I've not seen that. Every textbook I had in high school was at least 30 years old.

41:22 Drew Wow.

41:23 Adam Oh, easily.

41:23 Drew So it's from the forties.

41:25 Adam Yeah, the teens, a lot of the stuff. Yeah. Yeah. They all, it all smelled like grill cream. I got to use stuff. Ryan?

41:32 Yeah.

41:33 Adam So you're 24.

41:35 Caller Yep.

41:36 Adam You go limp when the girl wants to have sex.

41:41 I do.

41:42 Adam Okay.

41:42 Not all the time.

41:43 Adam Sometimes.

41:43 Caller When I'm feeling the deal with a new girl, I do, but if it's somebody that I've slept with before in the past, it's no problem.

41:50 Adam All right.

41:51 Drew You get anxious.

41:52 Adam You're not a gamer.

41:53 Drew You get nervous.

41:55 Caller I don't get anxious. I get uninterested. I have the mentality of already after having sex where I just want to grab a turkey sandwich and watch some Leno.

42:04 Adam Well, before you have sex. Don't you mean Kimmel, by the way? Aren't you into the person, though?

42:11 Caller I think I'm more into the game.

42:13 Drew All right. So with the people you're about to sleep with, you're not really attracted to.

42:16 Caller No, I'm.

42:17 Adam Don't don't do it then. I have no sympathy for guys in Mariana can't get boners. Here's the thing.

42:23 Drew But I agree. If it's not something he's in, he's into.

42:27 Adam Well, he's into the game.

42:28 Drew That's that's that's awful.

42:30 Caller Really? You mean the rapper?

42:32 Drew I'm just manipulating people and trying to try to.

42:34 Adam I got that. Yeah, he's into the he's into the thrill, the hunt and manipulation. Look, if you find someone hot, you should want to sink your teeth into one for the love of Christ.

42:45 Drew That's why I think he's not.

42:47 Adam Something's up and then and he's just passing it off as he's so debonair. He's such a sportsman that no, you have issues.

42:58 Drew Yeah.

42:58 Adam Here's the thing. You need to find a girl.

43:00 Drew Actually have a relationship.

43:02 Adam Settle in and just get into a thing. And let me ask you this, Drew. Here's a hypothetical. I wonder what the answer to this would be. Some people perform well under pressure. Most successful people perform well under pressure. When it's time for the big test or the big game, that's when they show up. And that's how life judges you. You don't care what you do day in and day out. It's the auditions. It's the job interviews. It's the big test. And these are the ones these people seem to ace all the time. All right. What about a guy? You see these athletes, you know, there's 50,000 people screaming in the stands. It's full count. It's the ninth inning.

43:39 Drew That's when they like it.

43:40 Adam It doesn't seem to affect them. One way or the other, if they're going to get a hit, they're going to get a hit. It's the same as like they're in spring training with nobody in the stands.

43:48 Caller Right.

43:49 Adam Does that same guy, does he lose his erection with a girl?

43:52 Drew Those guys, though, are just into intense experiences. And so they lose interest very easily. They're still he's still OK, but he'll just he'll move on to something else readily.

44:03 Adam But if you show me a guy loses his boner, he won't lose his boner at the end of the day. No, I'll show you a guy who's going to who's going to strike out.

44:11 Drew Yeah, exactly.

44:12 Adam In a clutch situation, right? Exactly.

44:14 Drew I agree.

44:14 Caller Yes.

44:16 Drew I bet the guy that hits it gets the triple is a guy that's home run when he's on the check and loses interest very quickly, but but ain't losing the boner.

44:25 Adam Right. Shows up. Somebody ought to write a book on it. True. I mean, the boner part, I just mean in life, you really don't have to show up most days. And then every once in a while, you got to show up and hit a home run and then you know what? You're not showing up.

44:38 Drew Yeah. You got to understand when you're supposed to show up. The hardest thing for people.

44:41 Adam All right. So Ryan needs to find a chick and stick with her and work it out. He ain't one of these bounce around guys.

44:47 Caller Zach. Yeah.

44:48 Drew But I have a feeling he's also somebody can't be in a relationship. Zach.

44:53 Adam 17. Zach, can you hear us? He's talking to somebody. All right. I'll get rid of Zach. I want to talk to Chelsea. Chelsea.

45:07 Drew Yeah.

45:08 Adam 21. You're fat and you're afraid to lose weight.

45:11 Caller Yeah.

45:12 Basically.

45:13 Drew Were you sexually abused or something growing up or physically abused?

45:15 Caller I was. When I was three, my grandfather had me perform oral sex on him.

45:22 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

45:25 Drew Every grandfather.

45:26 Adam Yeah. I remember I had to do that for Lotsie.

45:30 Drew Chelsea, this whole obesity crisis we've got in this country and people don't factor in things like this. It's a common reason that people maintain very high body weights is to keep people off, keep people away.

45:43 Adam Your grandfather, who I pray is dead, should have like a flaming sharpened mop handle just stuck right into a sternum and pinned against a wall. Oh, so we can like smell his viscera burning underneath him. You performing oral on your grandfather is just, that guy just needs a thousand deaths. I wish there was a hell.

46:08 Yeah.

46:08 Adam And you said he is dead?

46:10 Yeah.

46:11 Caller He actually, he died of some cirrhosis.

46:13 Caller Jaw cancer.

46:14 Drew Jaw cancer.

46:15 He was like throat cancer.

46:16 Drew That's pretty bad.

46:17 He was, he was, he was, he was chewed tobacco and Yeah, yeah.

46:21 Adam But ironically, you had to perform oral on him and God gave him a nice dose of jaw cancer.

46:27 Yeah.

46:28 Drew Awesome.

46:28 Adam That's a horrible death. Fantastic.

46:30 Drew But Chelsea, this business of being fearful of other people and protecting yourself with your weight, you need to get over that.

46:36 Caller I've tried. I've done counseling and stuff.

46:39 Caller And it just seems like I'll do diet and I'll lose some weight.

46:44 And then I flip out and just put the weight back on.

46:46 Drew How many years did you go to counseling for?

46:50 Five, six. Wow.

46:54 The thing is, one of the counselors, I used to act out in public.

46:59 And one of the counselors asked me to act out for him. And so doing that just flipped me out even more.

47:05 Adam Formed oral on the counselor?

47:07 Caller No, just like to be like, well, show me how you're acting out.

47:11 Adam Okay. Okay, here's what I was going to say. Work needs to be done.

47:16 Drew Yes.

47:17 Adam I don't know what to say. You know what you have to do. You have to start doing it. We'll take a break. We'll be right back.

47:24 Caller All right, guys, here's the deal.

47:26 You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person.

47:29 Adam One call is all you need to make.

47:30 Caller Call the Dateline. 877-889-DATE.

47:34 Drew Call the Dateline.

47:35 Caller 1-800-CALL-

47:55 Adam Yeah, buddy, it's the Loveline. I'm Adam Nats, Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191-ER.

48:01 Drew Yeah, and I'm still looking for couples who've had difficulty with their sex life since a baby. Okay, women who get shut down while they're breastfeeding, shut down after pregnancy, depression after pregnancy, and even men that get shut down after the mom, after your girlfriend's wife becomes a mom.

48:17 Caller Really?

48:17 Drew And when he used you for the Discovery Health channel. Yeah, you freaked out. We're gonna come talk to you. So call in 1-800-LOVE-191.

48:24 Adam When do you do that show?

48:26 Drew We're doing it all. We got one filming on April 9th and one on May 6th. And then we do the few. This will probably be a field piece. We kind of come to them probably.

48:34 Adam Where do you tape the show?

48:35 Drew In Burbank.

48:36 Adam Nice.

48:37 Drew Nice.

48:38 Adam Nice. All right. Can Chris go?

48:40 Drew Yeah.

48:41 Adam Okay.

48:42 Drew He can give us some of the biology pointers.

48:44 Caller Cool.

48:45 Caller I'll be there.

48:45 Adam Yeah.

48:48 Drew Molecules.

48:50 Caller That's all it is.

48:51 Caller And cells.

48:52 Adam And cells. Crystal.

48:54 Caller Yes.

48:54 Drew Summarizes biology.

48:56 Adam Year 18?

48:57 Caller Yes.

48:58 Adam You just started working for an escort service?

49:01 Caller Yes.

49:02 Adam What do you do for the escort service?

49:04 Caller I go on dates with girls and guys and then I get money for it. And like, I just started like today. I'm kind of nervous about it. My friend says like, I'm not trusting the person yet.

49:17 Adam Well, girls and guys you go out with?

49:21 Caller Yeah.

49:21 Drew You have sex with them?

49:23 Caller Yeah.

49:24 Drew Yeesh.

49:24 Adam How many girls do you go out with?

49:27 Caller She said as many as you can and then she told me one girl made in four hours, $1,400.

49:37 Drew So this is straight out prostitution.

49:39 Adam Oh, yeah.

49:39 Caller It is? Yeah.

49:41 Drew What do you think it is?

49:42 Adam Well, it's an escort service.

49:43 Drew What would prostitution be in your mind?

49:47 Caller I have no idea.

49:48 Caller The money just got me.

49:50 Drew Okay. Prostitution is money for sex.

49:52 Caller Yeah.

49:53 Drew Okay. Is that what you're doing?

49:55 Caller I'm trying to think should I do it or should I not? And like I was kind of nervous.

50:01 Adam All right. Well, let's talk about the pros and the cons. A pro is you make money. The cons is if you're having sex with ex-cons. It's actually physically, it's actually literally cons. Yes. I know we're never going to get to the bottom of this with you, Crystal, but the part where he said girls and guys, how many women avail themselves of female escorts? Is there really a lot of the business ladies?

50:31 Caller There's just this girl and her boyfriend are doing this.

50:37 Drew All right, Crystal, you need to get some help. This is crazy.

50:40 Adam The girl and her boy? Oh, you mean you would go out with a couple?

50:44 Caller Yeah, and then she put my picture on the internet.

50:49 Drew Now, some couple picked this girl up and sort of pimped her out.

50:54 Adam Oh, turned her out?

50:55 Drew Yeah.

50:56 Adam Is that what happened, Crystal?

50:58 Caller Huh?

50:59 Adam Okay, hold on a second.

51:00 Drew Oh, Crystal.

51:01 Adam I know, I drive myself nuts. It's like a painful tooth. I have to keep flicking with my tongue, but she started off by saying she's working for an escort service. She's gonna go out with girls and with guys.

51:13 Drew She's wishing, she's hoping it's gonna be a bunch of girls.

51:15 Adam And make money. I'm very curious if...

51:18 Drew It's not gonna be any women.

51:18 Adam If any women ever use these escort services. I'm trying to figure that out from Crystal, but Crystal is either on Crystal or Braindead, or having a lot of difficulty tracking.

51:29 Drew This couple that has sort of seduced her into this, told her, oh, there's lots of girls, you can get multiple.

51:33 Adam Well, did she... Is this a couple? Crystal?

51:37 Drew Yeah?

51:37 Adam Let's just start, be extra... I'm trying to think of a word. Clear. Clear. Like you just got out of the shower, okay?

51:45 Caller Okay.

51:45 Adam All right. Now, who got you into this business?

51:50 Caller I called the Red Hut Dateline that the service had gave me before, not the service, but that I got off the TV.

51:59 Adam You called a number you got off the TV?

52:02 Caller Yeah.

52:03 Adam Okay. And you spoke to a male or a female?

52:06 Caller Female.

52:08 Adam And she said you can come to work for her.

52:11 Caller Yeah.

52:12 Adam And she said you will be going out on dates with males and with females.

52:17 Caller Yeah.

52:18 Adam Right. Don't expect to meet too many females. And if you do, you're going to mistake them for males.

52:24 Drew If they look like females, when their pants come down, they're going to be males.

52:28 Adam There's that one. And then there's the ones. Then there's the diesel dice.

52:31 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

52:33 Adam So here's my thing. You're going to be going out with guys. Now, how does it work? You have a pager or something?

52:41 Caller She calls me and asks me if I can go. And I'm like, if I can, I'll be like, yes, I can. If I can't, then I can't.

52:47 Adam Okay. Let me get straight. All right. And so literal. I like that. And-

52:52 Drew Bunker.

52:54 Adam A lot of the people that call the show, it would really be like, I feel like, if your pet could talk. Yes.

53:00 Drew Yes.

53:01 Adam Like if your pet could actually had a way to communicate its thoughts verbally, it would be like, I do not like the giblets food. I do like the other food that is not the giblets food.

53:12 Drew But I'll eat the giblets food.

53:13 Adam I would imagine that the early conversations you would have with the pet would go that way. Eventually the pet would learn to come, would become conversational.

53:21 Drew It would not be easy. All right.

53:23 Adam So Crystal, how much money can you get from one of these dates?

53:30 Caller Either between a thousand or almost like two thousand.

53:35 Adam It either be two thousand or two thousand?

53:37 Drew A thousand or two thousand.

53:39 Adam A thousand was the first one?

53:40 Caller Yeah.

53:42 Adam Or two thousand.

53:42 Drew And you have to sleep with these people, right? You have to have sex with them. Where are your parents?

53:48 Caller They're sleeping.

53:49 Drew Yeah, but what would they say about this?

53:51 Caller They don't know.

53:52 Drew What would they say about this?

53:54 Caller They'll probably kick my butt out or kick my butt. Okay.

53:58 Drew Have they kicked your butt in the past?

54:00 Caller No.

54:00 Drew They've never hit you before?

54:03 Caller No, but I've been molested and raped.

54:06 Drew Well, that's where you...

54:07 Adam Now we're getting to it.

54:08 Drew That's where you sort of lost your compass on all these issues, where you don't really perceive how completely out of bounds this all is.

54:14 Adam Who did this? Who molested you, Crystal?

54:17 Caller One of my family members.

54:21 Drew Why don't you get some help with that? The answer to that abuse is not going to be prostitution.

54:28 Adam Here's the problem, Crystal. You're going to do damage to yourself that is just as deep as the damage that was done to you when you were a little girl and you're being molested.

54:40 Drew Yeah, you're going to firm that all up. You're going to make that all cemented into your brain.

54:48 Adam Cement a building material?

54:49 Caller Yeah.

54:50 Adam Crystal?

54:51 Caller Yeah.

54:53 Adam Here's our plan. All right, Kate, tell me if you don't understand anything I'm saying.

54:57 Caller Okay.

54:58 Adam Okay. You started off a normal little girl. You got born into a family of bad people who made...

55:07 Caller I was adopted.

55:09 Adam All right. Well, there you go.

55:10 Drew That was the first set of bad people you were born into.

55:13 Adam Set number one, horrible biological parents, but at least they were good enough to put you up for it.

55:18 Drew By the way, yeah, I was saying, not to say the people that give up for adoption are horrible people, but...

55:21 Adam Well, they do when they give you up at four and the state makes you do it.

55:25 Drew Yeah.

55:25 Adam How old were you when you got adopted?

55:28 Caller Like, not even a year old.

55:30 Adam All right.

55:30 Drew But still a year, it's a big deal.

55:32 Adam And the people adopted you, let bad things happen to you or did bad things to you. All right. You can't really be blamed for that stuff. You were a victim. You were an innocent child. Now, unfortunately, you're an adult. And those things that were done to you are going to motivate you to go out and make other bad decisions, such as prostitution. And then what happens is, your self-esteem gets lowered because you're degrading yourself. You're with tons of guys.

56:07 Drew You hate men.

56:07 Adam You hate men.

56:08 Drew You get an STD. You get pregnant.

56:09 Adam You get pregnant. Then you have your own kid. And it's with one of the guys. And he's not around. And the whole cycle...

56:15 Drew Except when he is around, he sexually abuses your kid.

56:17 Adam The whole cycle repeats itself. So we're right at the cusp of that, right? Right at the edge of that. How about we not go down that path? Let's just stop it right now.

56:31 Caller I have a question, though. Yeah.

56:34 Caller If I were to fall in love with the actual man, because one time in ninth grade, I lost my virginity. And now, like I had a flashback when I was molested, would that affect me when I get married? And have that special moment with my husband?

56:51 Drew Well, you won't be having any husband or special moments if you go down this path. We'll have neither.

56:56 Adam The part that's going to ruin the special moment is the 500 guys you were with.

57:01 Drew Yeah, you'll hate men.

57:02 Adam The Shriners. Yeah. You were with before you met your husband.

57:06 Drew You will hate men. There will be no husband. It will be hard to find a man that would stay with you. You will have difficulty with intimacy. That you're going down a path that will destroy those kinds of dreams.

57:17 Adam Crystal, you sound like a little girl who's very confused and you're going to get yourself into trouble.

57:25 Drew Really, you're going down a path.

57:26 Adam Don't act out. Do you have any female friends?

57:29 Caller I have. I was. I am bi.

57:35 Drew That's why she was hoping for all the girls.

57:36 Adam All right. Do you have any female friends? I appreciate the bi proclamation. Do you have any ones that are not stupid?

57:45 Drew Or crazy.

57:46 Adam Or crazy? Can you spend more time with the non-crazy friends? Do you have any adults in your life that are not crazy or stupid?

57:54 Caller I have at least one.

57:56 Adam At least one.

57:57 Caller My old health teacher.

58:01 Adam What's her name or his name?

58:04 Caller Marcelo.

58:05 Caller Oh, wow.

58:07 Drew You might want to believe that there, Anderson.

58:10 Adam Well, she's a friend. She's a good person.

58:13 Caller And then there's another teacher.

58:16 Drew All right.

58:17 Adam Hold on a second, Crystal. Why don't you go talk to your health teacher?

58:21 Drew Yeah.

58:21 Adam Tell her.

58:22 Drew What's your plan in here?

58:23 Adam Tell her what's going on in your life. And she's smart and she's an adult. And she can help you.

58:28 Drew There you go.

58:29 Adam Do that. Don't go to work.

58:31 Drew Don't for these people that are just exploiting you for money.

58:34 Caller Right.

58:35 Drew You know, that's a project.

58:43 Adam Yeah. Can open up those borders. I'll tell you what. Yeah.

58:48 Caller Yeah.

58:49 Adam Turn this place into Utopia. Yeah.

58:52 Caller Yeah.

58:54 Drew How dare you?

58:55 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Let me tell you something.

58:58 Drew Cannot judge.

58:58 Adam Yeah. Tell you something in the Latino culture over there. Fair amount of this stuff going on.

59:04 Drew The physical sexual abuse of the kids.

59:07 Adam I did a little lot.

59:08 Drew In the country.

59:09 Adam Did a little work. Oh, out here too.

59:11 Drew Oh, in this country? I mean, in the city? Los Angeles?

59:15 Adam Yeah. I went to-

59:16 Drew Well, it makes sense. Maybe it's got started in the farms in Chihuahua, and then they came up here and continue the cycle.

59:22 Adam Yeah. They don't have the market cornered on this, but per capita, probably a little more of this family sexual abuse stuff going on than there is in other cultures. I learned that when I spent a little time. Spent some time with the SWAT team out in- Where the hell was I?

59:44 Drew SWAT team.

59:45 Adam Yeah. I did a man show bit.

59:47 Drew Oh.

59:49 Adam Spent some time with the SWAT team down in the city of commerce or something.

59:55 Drew How long are you talking about this?

59:56 Adam One guy, all he did was these cases. Dads effing their daughter's cases basically. And he filled me in on how it goes down.

1:00:06 Caller Yeah.

1:00:07 Adam Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

1:00:09 Caller Yeah.

1:00:10 Adam We can't judge.

1:00:10 Drew No, no.

1:00:11 Caller Oh no.

1:00:12 Adam Impossible to judge. Physically, emotionally and technically impossible to judge. I'm just saying there are certain cultures where this stuff goes on a little more than other cultures.

1:00:24 Drew It's just a fact. It's nothing you're judging.

1:00:26 Adam Can't judge. I'm just saying they may want to slow that down, focus on that just a little bit. Joe?

1:00:33 Yeah.

1:00:34 Adam 27?

1:00:35 Yeah.

1:00:36 Adam What's up?

1:00:38 Well, I just had a question. I've been married for about six years and I've just never ever been able to get my wife to orgasm by penetration. We always have to do some type of oral sex or masturbation on her.

1:00:56 Drew Does she have a problem with that?

1:00:59 She doesn't. No, she likes it and stuff. I just, for us, we've talked about it. We want to try to orgasm together.

1:01:10 Drew Forget about that, Joe.

1:01:14 Adam You set the bar way too high.

1:01:16 Caller Yeah.

1:01:18 Adam I want you to work on that teletransporting system that beams you to the East Coast in less than a second. As something a little more realistic to spend your time on. Instead of simultaneous orgasm. I gave up that dream about the time I gave up the dream to play in the NBA.

1:01:34 Drew Now I do believe that it may be possible to get her to have an orgasm with intercourse. I mean, just because she hasn't so far, it may be possible.

1:01:42 Adam Yeah.

1:01:43 Drew It's just not likely. And you're going to have to sort of, you have to be very motivated, use a lot of lubricant and...

1:01:48 Adam Joe, how about you work a vibrator into the mix when you're having intercourse?

1:01:52 Okay.

1:01:54 Adam Oh, really?

1:01:54 Drew That's easy.

1:01:55 Adam Well, here's the thing.

1:01:56 Caller I don't know.

1:01:58 Adam I know.

1:01:59 Drew But here's the thing. Here's the thing about women. She can't help him with this. You know what I mean? He goes, well, what can I do? I don't know. All right.

1:02:05 Adam Joe, let me tell you what to do. Are you ready?

1:02:08 Drew Yeah. Wine coolers again?

1:02:11 Adam How did you know? Now, here's what you do, Joe. And here, all guys who want to work the vibrator into the equation, do not make the proclamation, I'm going down to the dildo store. You need anything? Because they're going to be like, oh no, please, please. No, not me. And for women, half of the battle is just not being a person that says, I want you to go get one of these. You go down to the sex shop and you get yourself one of these vibrators and not the one shaped like Ron Jeremy or anything. Just a nice smooth, made in Taiwan, weird flesh color sort of bullet-y one. Looks like a big lipstick case. Nothing to it. Streamlined and smooth and fancy. And you sneak it on home and you don't pull it out in the kitchen and announce that we're going to be using this three or four hours later. You just bring it in the bedroom, slide it under the pillow, and familiarize yourself with it. Figure out how to work it, turn it on with one hand. Don't put the Duracell batteries in there. The thing will lift off. Oh, lift it, lift off and go right for your ass. Go straight up like a rocket, circle around, pow, right in the ass. Happened to me at least a half dozen times. No, put the cheap batteries for the picture of the cat on them or something. And then put it under the pillow or between the mattress and box spring. Then when you guys are getting intimate, all of a sudden you surprise her with it, not with a stabbing motion, but just a nice, slow, let her become friends with it. Let her get a little clitoral work with the thing. Then when you have sex with her, she works it in. She uses it. That could do it.

1:03:56 Drew I also think you get ready to pick up a rhythm and let her sort of figure this out, because she's got to figure it out too. You got to really hit a stride for a while and be better to sustain it.

1:04:09 Adam All right.

1:04:09 Drew Ready to rock?

1:04:10 Caller Tricia?

1:04:12 Hi.

1:04:13 Adam What's up? You're 23.

1:04:14 Caller Yeah. I'm sorry. I was just laughing at you guys. I have a very strange problem. My ex, I kind of think he might be gay. Isn't that nice?

1:04:25 Caller Why?

1:04:26 Adam Your ex? Your ex.

1:04:29 Caller Yeah.

1:04:30 Drew What makes you think this?

1:04:31 Caller Well, we were dating for about two years. And for about the last year of it, I could not get him, I could not seduce him in any way. And there were just a lot of things that were very fishy. Like I would walk into the bedroom and he'd be laying down watching ESPN and I'd try to seduce him and he'd have a hot dog.

1:04:50 Drew ESPN? Wait a minute.

1:04:51 Caller Adam, I'm confused.

1:04:52 Caller He would seduce himself into sports and his family is really homophobic so his life is sports. He refuses to wear any clothing that isn't sports related. He doesn't do anything that isn't sports related and he watches ESPN every second that he's at home.

1:05:08 Adam Oh, well he must really miss him.

1:05:10 Caller Yeah, well and then on top of it, we would never have sex. You know.

1:05:17 Adam Okay, but hold on, you're...

1:05:18 Drew I'd immediately go to a chronic masturbator, cheater, other things before dead.

1:05:21 Adam It's constant watching of sports.

1:05:24 Caller It's all these little things that add up that, you know, everybody else seems to think he's...

1:05:29 Hold on.

1:05:31 Adam First off, what a horrible, compelling point she makes with the I would come home and he would be watching ESPN. Now I thought you were going to say Oxygen. Watching now back to Rock Hudson, starring with Rock Hudson and co-starring Rock Hudson.

1:05:50 Drew With Doris Day.

1:05:51 Adam Doris Day in 12 Pack or whatever the hell, what the hell is that movie with all the stupid... Cheaper by the Dozen. Yeah, but he's watching sports highlights.

1:06:03 Drew I know.

1:06:04 Adam So he may be gay and it's okay to be gay and watch sports, but not part of a traditional gay argument. He never stopped wearing jerseys and watching sports. Yes?

1:06:15 Drew Yes.

1:06:15 Adam All right. All right, Trisha, go on to a damning piece of evidence number two. He never stopped deer hunting and chugging coors?

1:06:23 Caller No, nothing like that. Okay. And the other thing is there's a lot to it though. It's not just any one of these little things you look at anything. Sure.

1:06:30 Adam Yeah, no. I mean, when you see a guy who likes sports, you immediately think gay.

1:06:34 Caller No.

1:06:35 Adam Immediately gay, but there's got to be more to it.

1:06:38 Drew Wearing jerseys in and the balls around.

1:06:41 Adam When I see that guy down at the Giants Bar on Sunday, wearing the Tiger Stripe sweatpants, the Giants helmet and the Lawrence Taylor jersey.

1:06:51 Drew Gay.

1:06:52 Adam Gay. Big husky guy with a mustache. He's smoking and he's chugging a drawn beer. Oh, gay. Gay. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. What else does this guy do? Does he drive a big pickup truck and swing a hammer for a living?

1:07:10 Caller No, no. But he is very feminine in a lot of ways. So it's such a contradiction. That's why I'm saying this. It's all just so odd. I would be the one walking into the living room asking, so how was your day? And he's crying like a baby on the couch. What's the matter? Is there anything I can help you with? Any problems at work?

1:07:28 You don't love me enough.

1:07:30 Caller What?

1:07:31 Caller Really?

1:07:31 Caller I just came in for a beer. I'm sorry.

1:07:34 Caller I don't know what happened.

1:07:35 Caller Wow.

1:07:36 Adam Trish keeps getting fatter the more she talks, by the way.

1:07:39 Caller What?

1:07:40 Adam You keep putting on weight in my mind's eye.

1:07:42 Caller I'm getting fat?

1:07:43 Caller Oh, no.

1:07:44 Adam As you talk.

1:07:45 Caller Oh, uh-oh.

1:07:47 Adam Go ahead. So he cries. So you dumped him. Did you dump him?

1:07:52 Caller I did because I thought he must have been cheating. And so I asked him about it. I didn't come screaming at him, claws out. I just said, you know, are you having an affair? Is there something we need to talk about? Or, you know, is this done? And he threw a hippie fit like a girl.

1:08:10 Adam All right. So look, who knows if he's gay? Hey, Trisha, what's wrong with you?

1:08:15 Drew She's taking his nuts, whatever he is.

1:08:17 Adam Where's your dad? What's going on with you?

1:08:19 Caller What's wrong with my dad?

1:08:21 Adam Why are you angry?

1:08:22 Drew Well, that's not angry, that's a ball buster.

1:08:25 Adam Yeah, I shouldn't say yeah. You know, we do talk to angry chicks. You're not one of them. You're just a ball buster.

1:08:30 Caller No, I'm not. No, no, no, no, no, I'm not. He really is. What I want to say though, is he's a wonderful guy. And the reason why I'm curious about it isn't because I've got any rejection issues and I want to make myself feel better. It's the fact that I'm still really in love with him and I want to get back together with him.

1:08:47 Adam Oh, what's not to love?

1:08:48 Caller Everybody I have talked to keeps telling me he's gay and I'm in complete denial or else I don't know.

1:08:54 Adam Why are you so in love with this guy who just cries about work and then watches ESPN all day?

1:08:59 Drew He's gay.

1:08:59 Caller He's a really good guy. He's a really good guy.

1:09:02 Adam You can't do better than this?

1:09:04 Caller Well...

1:09:05 Drew Somebody will have sex with you. Somebody...

1:09:07 Adam Now you just put another 10 pounds on.

1:09:08 Caller Is this not usually the thought you have in the back of your mind? So what happened with your last relationship? I wasn't sure if you liked guys or girls. I don't know.

1:09:15 Adam How much do you weigh, Trisha?

1:09:16 Caller Me?

1:09:17 Caller I weigh 125.

1:09:19 Adam Really? How much does your right half-weight?

1:09:23 Caller About 200.

1:09:25 Caller About 200?

1:09:26 Adam He weighs about 200?

1:09:28 Caller Yeah.

1:09:29 Caller Okay.

1:09:29 Adam It's just 125. What's wrong? You can't meet? Are you attractive?

1:09:37 Caller Yeah, I guess so.

1:09:38 Adam How about you just meet a nice guy who wants to pay attention to you?

1:09:42 Caller Well, because I don't know. It seems around here everybody does the whole hoeing around thing and I don't know. I'm not into that.

1:09:50 Adam Around here, the state of Washington?

1:09:53 Caller Yeah.

1:09:54 Adam I got to move. Drew, you got to get up there.

1:09:57 Caller I'm from the Midwest, so this is...

1:09:59 Adam Okay, but...

1:10:00 Drew Wait a minute. I still got to revisit this guy's sly on the couch crying, you don't love me enough. If he was actually in love with you and you were busting his nuts the way you seemed to do, you could...

1:10:11 Caller Well, the thing is, oh, I don't. I did everything. I really tried, I really did. And then since we broke up, now he can come out with the romance. And I'm not asking for dozens of roses. I don't care if it's an I Love You on a Gumwrapper. I don't care. But I tried the seduction. I tried...

1:10:26 Adam Okay, okay.

1:10:27 Drew It's not making sense.

1:10:28 Adam Trisha, here's what this is adding up to for me and my mind. This guy's no great shakes. He doesn't seem that into you or passionate about you. You're just seeming like someone who doesn't feel like they can meet another guy. Here's the thing. There's two types of love, Drew. Stop me if I'm wrong. There's the type of love where you're just really into the person, and therefore you love them very much. Then there's a type of love where I don't think I'm going to meet anybody else, therefore I still love this person.

1:11:05 Drew The clinging love. I have to love them.

1:11:08 Adam It's sort of based on desperation.

1:11:10 Drew Because without them I'll be alone and I'll be miserable and I won't be able to handle it.

1:11:15 Adam Yeah, but it's no different than anything you have in life. If you have a sort of a crappy beat up car but it's your only car and your only way to get to work, you protect it and if it gets towed, you're freaked out, whatever, and if you have a bunch of really nice ones you wouldn't give a crap. You'd park that thing on the street with the windows open and care for if it was raining. You know what I'm saying? This seems like the, she has one car, it's beat up and she wants to hang on to it with both hands. And I'm wondering what's wrong with her that she can't go out, she's passionate, she's 23, she's nice looking, go out and meet a 26 year old guy who's into you. Just go do that.

1:11:53 Drew She needs to do that.

1:11:54 Adam Look, don't anyone, don't backtrack. If you break up with someone, whatever reason, there's a reason you broke up. There's a reason you did, especially if you think they're gay. So keep going. Quit busting balls. We'll take a break.

1:12:05 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back.

1:12:19 Adam Yeah, it's Loveline. Adam, it's Dr. Drew.

1:12:23 Drew Yeah, I'll tell you what, I really appreciate the Loveline listeners and callers. They've been coming through for me, and they're going to be the subjects of my television program. So it's going to be an all Loveline television show where people are getting offline, off the air here, and using them as objects for study. And we're tight looking for people that have had a drop in their sex drive since babies.

1:12:43 Adam Since they were just little babies?

1:12:45 Drew No, since they had babies. When they had a baby, man, husbands, when the wife becomes a mom, babies having babies, babies having babies, they could be young. And we'll look into this a little bit.

1:12:54 Caller All right.

1:12:55 Adam Let's talk to Nick, who's 16.

1:12:59 Caller Nick?

1:13:01 Caller Hello?

1:13:02 Adam What is up?

1:13:05 Caller Hold on, Nick.

1:13:06 Drew Here you go, dude.

1:13:09 Caller Hello?

1:13:10 Adam All right. Hello? Nick, can you hear us?

1:13:16 Caller I can hear you.

1:13:17 Adam All right.

1:13:18 Drew This is where you talk.

1:13:20 I was just wondering because I smoke pot every day.

1:13:24 Drew If I don't smoke pot, I could not tell.

1:13:28 Caller Hello? Hello? Hello?

1:13:31 Caller Hello?

1:13:33 Caller Hello?

1:13:34 Adam Hello?

1:13:35 Drew How dare you suggest that people can tell when another is smoking pot?

1:13:39 Adam I know.

1:13:40 Drew That's just impossible to tell. It has no effect. I couldn't get through life without it.

1:13:45 Adam So what? Nick, you smoke pot every day.

1:13:48 Caller Yeah.

1:13:48 Or if I don't smoke pot, I have to have like something else, like pills or alcohol or something, you know?

1:13:54 Drew And that's addiction.

1:13:55 Caller Yeah.

1:13:56 That's what I was wondering.

1:13:57 Caller I'm like, is it just pot?

1:13:59 Like, is pot addictive by itself?

1:14:02 Drew Yes, it is. For some people, not for everybody, but for some people it is.

1:14:05 Adam Everything you really like and have trouble stopping doing is addictive.

1:14:09 Drew They finally published an article. It came out through the National Institute on Drug Abuse that shows the power of the pleasant experience. In other words, if you initially, when you smoke pot, have an incredibly powerfully delightful experience, it predicts addiction. It's something I've been saying forever, that when people, the first time they get high smoking pot, not necessarily the first time they use it, but first time they get high, feel like this is just the greatest experience. I love it. You're going to be doing that every day from then on. Chris is shaking his head, yes, engineer Chris. You could be doing undergraduate junior college biology at 29.

1:14:44 Adam Yeah. Well, here's the thing. Obviously, if you're Nick and you're 16 and you're smoking weed and on days you can't get weed, you're pumping your stepmom's prescription pills or doing a few beers, that's momentum, that's early and often. I mean, at 16 not being able to take a day off.

1:15:05 Drew That's severe addiction.

1:15:06 Adam Don't get me wrong. I have my medicine when I get home every night.

1:15:10 Drew That's taken a few decades for you to develop this relationship with your medicine.

1:15:14 Adam Oh, yes. I wish I had gotten started earlier, but it's 16. I didn't even think about it.

1:15:20 Drew The anandamide system is what marijuana attaches to and it's distributed widely throughout the brain. It's very active in a place called the amygdala, which is where a lot of our drives and the experiences of novelty and enjoyment are. And I even think this area called the anterior cingulate was where we experience connection with the world and other people and that sort of lit up. And in people who have had deficiencies in that area, been abandoned or let down or abused, this is the way to experience that for the first time sometimes.

1:15:45 Adam Let me ask you this. I was just harkening back on my own childhood and there at the Corolla house, there was no booze or I don't think there was any coffee or we were really, we were really just like Jehovah's Witness. We really were. My dad was just cheap and he wasn't into anything and nobody did anything. There was no cigarettes to cop and no booze to water down and there was nothing. And my dad never left town. Never. I mean, never went on a vacation.

1:16:16 Drew What are you gonna do?

1:16:17 Adam What are you gonna do? So it's just the boring sacks sitting on the sofa, but there's no liquor cabinet to raid or anything.

1:16:24 Drew But there was the neighbor's pantry.

1:16:26 Adam Well, that's when I was babysitting, yeah. But here's the thing. I wonder, and when it came to things like coffee, I didn't even know that people under 25 drank coffee. I just didn't know it's something you did.

1:16:43 Drew Right.

1:16:43 Adam I imagined in some sort of alternate universe, if you're driving a truck across country, you could grab a coffee. But those guys were in there, those guys were men and then maybe a college student every once in a while. But nobody drank coffee. Now everyone drinks coffee. And caffeine's a drug, I imagine. And so if you're 14 or 13 or 15 and you're just drinking coffees, I mean, you're just pulling into the Starbucks and getting the mocha latte and the whatever, even if it's sweet stuff. I wonder if that just starts everything else. I wonder if cigarettes follow more quickly. I wonder if other drugs...

1:17:20 Drew There's actually no evidence that caffeine does that. But cigarettes do trigger an evolution.

1:17:26 Adam Well, I don't know, first off, I'm not sure how much they've studied it. But here's all I'm saying. Participating in getting involved with the adult lifestyle prematurely.

1:17:38 Drew Not a good thing.

1:17:39 Adam Yeah, I mean, just when I was a kid, adults drank coffee. And if you were in high school or under, you didn't really think about it. Just knowing kids, it was kind of weird, actually. I mean, even if you're 16, 17, 18 years old, if...

1:17:54 Drew No, when we were in high school, it would have been the equivalent to like a six or an eight year old drinking coffee now. Right? Yeah. It'd be weird like that. It'd be like, what? You're letting your 15 year old drink coffee?

1:18:06 Adam Yeah. It was about, in a weird way, it was sort of the same as a glass of wine or something. Some families, if they have like a 17 year old, they'll give them some wine, you know, if it's a Passover or something. But to just do it at the dinner table would have been weird on a sort of non-event. Yeah. Night. So I'm just wondering if if you're drinking coffee at 14 instead of 18, I just wonder if the adult life... I'm not blaming it all on coffee.

1:18:33 Drew I know the whole oral sex thing kicks in at 14 and I just start blowing guys.

1:18:37 Adam You start drinking coffee and next thing you know, you're an old man at 17.

1:18:43 Caller Yeah.

1:18:44 Adam What do you know? I mean, they're girls.

1:18:46 Drew That's what you wish for.

1:18:47 Caller Yeah. Lucy. Yeah. Hi.

1:18:51 Adam 17.

1:18:52 Caller Yeah.

1:18:52 Caller I'm 17 and my boyfriend, he's bipolar and he's a drug addict. He's been to rehab and he's doing really well. Good. And we're in a serious relationship and everything. And I'm just kind of scared that he's taking topama, like all these drugs for bipolar and our sex life. I mean, I lost it to him and everything because I felt really comfortable with him. We have sex like really like three times a month. And it's just kind of strange because he's like 18.

1:19:26 Caller I'm 17.

1:19:29 Caller And I don't know if it has to do with, you know, the drugs that he takes because of his bipolar disorder.

1:19:35 Drew And Maya, what's he on?

1:19:37 Caller He's on topamax or something like that. I don't know.

1:19:39 Drew What else? What else?

1:19:42 Caller It's just some antidepressant or something.

1:19:44 Drew Which one?

1:19:45 Adam She doesn't know.

1:19:46 Drew She does. Topamax and?

1:19:47 Adam She doesn't know the other one.

1:19:48 Caller I don't know. I really don't know.

1:19:51 Drew All right. Well, that will shut people. Yeah. Well, the topamax not so much, but the antidepressants can really shut you down sexually.

1:19:57 Adam Maybe that's what's going on, Lucy.

1:19:59 Drew The problem is, Lucy, you're sort of preoccupied about this being something wrong with the relationship or he's not attracted. No, he's on some medication that will affect his sex drive. And three times a month is a little bit off an 18-year-old. I mean, it should be like more like twice that. But even so, for somebody who's recovering from an illness and is trying to get over a very serious and life-threatening problem, it's not that far off.

1:20:22 Caller It's truly weird because I've seen him without his medication once he was staying at a friend's house. And his attitude kind of changes toward, like, he's a lot more expressive and emotional.

1:20:33 Drew Yeah, he'll head towards, listen, he'll become manic if you allow him to. His illness needs to be stabilized for a while before he comes off these medicines.

1:20:41 Caller Will he eventually be coming off of these, like, medications?

1:20:45 Drew Probably some of the stuff, yeah, sure.

1:20:47 Caller And he was also adoptive, and he doesn't want to talk about it at all, and it's just, I don't know, I just feel like.

1:20:53 Adam How old was he when he was adopted, do you know?

1:20:55 Caller Well, he was a baby, he was like a little baby, like he was adopted right after he was given birth, too.

1:21:03 Adam Okay, so immediately, but here's the thing, Lucy, there's issues, this guy has issues.

1:21:10 Drew Serious illnesses, Lucy.

1:21:12 Adam And if you want to be his girlfriend, if you want to be the girlfriend of the guy who has a lot of issues, That's fine. God bless you. But this is what happens.

1:21:23 Drew And you got to support his treatment. You're not be making decisions about it for him or with him. He has two serious conditions and he needs to follow direction. You need to support him on that.

1:21:33 Adam Here's our thing, too. I don't look at it as a cop out. If at 17, you just don't want a guy with a bunch of prior baggage. Just he's on a bunch of meds. He's manic depressive. He was adopted. He's got baggage. He's got issues. I just I want to get laid, smoke a little weed. I want to go. I'm talking about me.

1:21:51 Drew I'm off the collar now. My point is the 60 year old deciding that because he's more expressive when he's off med, so we can unleash this bipolar and he'll kill himself. I mean, that's really that's okay.

1:22:02 Adam That's what I'm saying. Everyone's drinking coffee and becoming doctors at age 16, 17. Everyone knows more about medication than. Look, when I was growing up, I think I had heard of penicillin. That was about it. There was none of this antidepressant, none of that. No one knew. It's just, look, there were troublemakers and there were nice kids.

1:22:23 Drew You would have been on them had they been around. Yeah. Yeah.

1:22:27 Adam Kidding me.

1:22:28 Drew Wouldn't that be nice?

1:22:29 Adam I might, I would have had to take so many of them that my crap would look like it was rolled in there.

1:22:37 Drew Like a baby Ruth bar.

1:22:38 Adam Baby Ruth bar. Just a Paxil. Baby Ruth Paxil bar coming out of my ass. All right. Hey, phone screener Brian, is he on the job tonight?

1:22:49 Drew Yeah.

1:22:50 Adam I can tell because all these boring chicks with that crappy problem.

1:22:53 Drew You want some more big boobs?

1:22:53 Adam I want some big jugs. Come on, buddy. What are you allergic to boobs? Let's go. And I don't want to have to make the decree every other week. You just start doing it. That's it. Big boobs. I want some big boob calls every night. Every night I want a big boob call.

1:23:10 Caller All right. All right.

1:23:11 Adam But listen, phone screener Brian, you care too much. That's your problem. It's all these chicks. You got all these problems and everyone's a disaster. I want something fun. I want something I can think about on the ride home. Think about it. Yeah.

1:23:24 Drew Yeah.

1:23:25 Adam You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I hope I don't pass any trucks. You know what I'm saying?

1:23:30 Drew Yeah. I notice how you weave out of the way of that stuff.

1:23:32 Adam They'll be able to see what I'm thinking.

1:23:35 Caller Zach?

1:23:37 Adam Zach, you're 17.

1:23:39 Caller Yeah.

1:23:41 Drew All right.

1:23:41 Caller Hold on.

1:23:41 Adam I can't deal with Zach.

1:23:43 Drew Zach's going to hold. Look at the hold.

1:23:44 Adam Oh, Zach's going to hold for 117 minutes.

1:23:46 Drew All right.

1:23:47 Adam Now I have newfound passion and mercy for Zach. Go ahead, Zach.

1:23:51 Caller All right. Yeah. My girlfriend's vagina leaks weird stuff.

1:23:56 Drew Oh, Zach, after waiting two hours, comes on and drops the S-bomb.

1:24:01 Adam Drops the S-bomb 11 seconds into the call.

1:24:05 Drew Two hours on hold, Zach. Come on.

1:24:08 Caller Yeah.

1:24:10 Adam All right.

1:24:11 Drew Here we go. Let's take a break.

1:24:12 Adam He's been on hold for two hours. I want to cut him a slack, cut him a little slack. So hang on for about four minutes, Zach. We'll get back with you and the leaking vagina after this.

1:24:22 Caller Hello, how's it doing?

1:24:24 Caller This is Love Line, 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:24:49 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Love Line. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. I like when engineer Chris points the finger at me after.

1:24:56 Drew After Anderson goes, let's go.

1:24:57 Adam Go.

1:24:58 Caller You just said go, so I was like, all right, all right.

1:25:01 Adam Hey, everybody, Loveline, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. All right, now, when we left off, we were sort of speaking to Zach, who's now been on hold for 123 minutes. He used the S word about 12 seconds into the call, but I'm gonna cut him a little slack because he's been on hold for two hours, Zach.

1:25:21 Caller Yeah.

1:25:22 Adam No swearing, please.

1:25:24 Caller Okay, I'm sorry.

1:25:25 Adam Okay. Now, your girlfriend's vagina has been leaking.

1:25:30 Caller Yeah.

1:25:32 Drew What? Oh, boy. What do you mean?

1:25:35 Caller I don't know. It's some weird, like, gooey, nasty stuff.

1:25:39 Drew And how do you, I mean, what, she shares this with you? How do you know that's something new? What?

1:25:44 Caller It's been off about two months now.

1:25:46 Drew Yeah. Maybe she's always had that.

1:25:49 Caller I don't know. I was just wondering if it's so...

1:25:51 Adam Well, maybe she should go to the doctor.

1:25:54 Caller Yeah. I think she's afraid to go to the doctor.

1:25:56 Adam Well, tell her, tell her you spoke to Dr. Drew.

1:26:00 Drew I said go. It's probably normal discharge, but, you know, it just needs to be checked out to make sure it's not an STD or something.

1:26:06 Adam We cut Zach off. I cut it short because I'm, I'm just playing a hunch, but I bet he's a cabaret singer.

1:26:13 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

1:26:13 Adam He's got to get on stage.

1:26:15 Drew And I feel an F-bomb coming to by the way.

1:26:18 Adam Could be. Could be. Risa?

1:26:22 Caller Oh yeah. Hello?

1:26:23 Adam Risa. How do you pronounce your name?

1:26:25 Caller Risa.

1:26:26 Adam Risa.

1:26:27 Drew What's going on?

1:26:27 Adam You're 17?

1:26:28 Caller Yeah.

1:26:30 Adam And your boyfriend's getting circumcised?

1:26:32 Caller Yeah.

1:26:32 Caller He hasn't even been circumcised, but when he had sex, like he gets so big that like he'll rip or get really sore if we have sex a lot.

1:26:39 Caller So he has to get circumcised.

1:26:40 Drew It's not about him getting big. It's just that's a common complication of circumcised, of not being circumcised.

1:26:44 Adam Is he big anyway?

1:26:46 Caller Yeah.

1:26:48 Adam Wow. See, yeah, when you have the tight foreskin, it's sort of the equivalent to the guy who works out, puts a real tight t-shirt on, just looks that much bigger.

1:26:55 Drew Right. She thinks that's what it is.

1:26:57 Adam Well, but it's probably a combination. I mean, he's got himself a nice honker, yes?

1:27:03 Caller Yeah.

1:27:04 Adam All right. So he has to get the circumcision.

1:27:07 Caller Yeah. And I was just wondering how that will change his sex life.

1:27:10 Drew And like, it will not change anything.

1:27:13 Adam Well, we don't know that for sure.

1:27:15 Drew It won't change anything. Well, that is not something guys report. That is magically things are magically different. It doesn't change anything.

1:27:21 Adam Well, no, she's not. Drew, you're so defensive about circumcision. I don't think she's saying it's going to be better. I think she's worried that it might be worse.

1:27:28 Drew It doesn't change anything.

1:27:30 Adam It's it could possibly change something.

1:27:32 Drew I'm telling you guys, don't report that it does.

1:27:34 Adam Well, I can tell you he's going to be sensitive for quite some time. That's one thing that's going to change.

1:27:39 Drew Well, because of the surgery, sure.

1:27:40 Adam No, he's got guys who aren't circumcised. When they become circumcised, at this point in life, there's a sensitivity thing that's uncomfortable for quite some time. You're going to have to work that. That's going to have to be worked out. I'm sure you guys will, you know, overcome any obstacle. But there might be a little tweak. Could be better. Could be worse. You work with it. You figure it out. Is she there? Did the phone?

1:28:05 Caller Yeah, I'm here.

1:28:06 Caller Oh, okay.

1:28:07 Caller But you know how long it would be?

1:28:10 Adam You got to talk to the doctor about it.

1:28:12 Caller He's probably two weeks.

1:28:13 Drew Depends what he needs to do. But it's about two weeks.

1:28:15 Adam Couple weeks.

1:28:16 Caller Okay. All right.

1:28:18 Adam What are you going to do?

1:28:22 Drew What's the big mystery?

1:28:23 Caller Wow.

1:28:23 Adam How horny are you? You can't make it two weeks?

1:28:26 Caller Well, hey, he's all the way in Georgia. And I'm in California.

1:28:29 Caller I haven't seen him for a while. We only see each other like every month.

1:28:33 Drew So what's the big deal?

1:28:34 Adam Why doesn't he do it during the month he's not going to see you?

1:28:38 Caller Yeah, that's what we were thinking, but I don't know.

1:28:40 Caller He hasn't got around to it yet or whatever.

1:28:42 Adam Well, here's the thing. Schedule the... here's what it is. It's like athletes scheduling a surgery for the off season.

1:28:50 Drew Yes.

1:28:50 Adam Make it through the season, then go under the scope.

1:28:53 Drew Yes, of course.

1:28:54 Adam Right, so he sees you, comes out from Georgia, hangs the bejesus out of you, then goes back to Georgia and finds a top-notch moil, because Georgia is lousy with moils.

1:29:05 Drew Oh really? They're just...

1:29:07 Adam Just lousy with them.

1:29:08 Drew They were out looking for work. Oh, it's because they're so bad, I guess.

1:29:11 Adam There's tons and tons of moils in the Georgia area. And there you go. What the hell is he doing in Georgia? What's he doing in Georgia and you're in Northridge? Going to college?

1:29:23 Caller Actually, I met him online, and we've been going out for like a year and a half.

1:29:28 Adam What's he doing in Georgia?

1:29:30 Caller He got his GED and I don't know.

1:29:36 Adam I'm telling you people, GED worse than nothing.

1:29:40 Drew Yeah.

1:29:41 Adam It really is. It really-

1:29:43 Drew Nothing shows some initiative, some faith.

1:29:46 Adam Look, if your daughter was dating a guy and you had a choice between the guy who got his GED and the guy who said high school wasn't for him, he dropped out, he started a business.

1:29:56 Drew The latter.

1:29:58 Adam In a heartbeat. He had a GED, he's from Georgia. All right.

1:30:04 Drew You've had people complain about the sensitivity issue after circumcisions?

1:30:08 Adam Yes.

1:30:08 Drew Who was it, you?

1:30:09 Adam Yeah.

1:30:10 Drew You with the-

1:30:12 Adam Here's the thing, here's the thing. Guys who have- Guys, Drew, I know you think you're an expert on anything, you're almost never right when you argue with me, so that's the first thing I'm asking you. No, but I know you have momentum in the foreskin department. Here's the thing, guys-

1:30:26 Drew I have momentum with people making a lot out of it, that's my momentum. They don't make a lot out of it.

1:30:29 Adam No, they make too much out of it, but you make nothing out of it and the truth is a little closer to nothing, but there's something in between zero and way too much.

1:30:39 Drew Okay.

1:30:40 Adam So here's the thing, guys who aren't circumcised, the head of their penis is sensitive because-

1:30:47 Drew It's been covered.

1:30:48 Adam It's like the part, it's like the skin under your arm or something, as opposed to the palms of your hands. It just hasn't been exposed. It's been covered. So when you remove whatever, if you took a guy, took a guy who was uncircumcised and you told him to pull the head of his penis out and just put it in his jeans and go jogging down the street, it would be weird and uncomfortable for him because it's sensitive. So it needs to be exposed to air, sunlight, whatever.

1:31:14 Drew But it comes around pretty fast.

1:31:15 Adam I would imagine it would come around fairly quickly, but there's going to be some initial sensitivity.

1:31:21 Drew I would guess. Yes.

1:31:22 Adam Chris. Hello, Chris, you're 19.

1:31:27 Caller Yeah, I've got a I've smoked pot a couple of weeks ago. Yes. And I don't know if it has any effect, but. I since I've had sex with my girlfriend since then, I've had trouble keeping it up.

1:31:45 Adam Probably.

1:31:46 Drew I don't think that's the pot.

1:31:47 Adam Not it.

1:31:48 Drew Look, was the pot laced with ecstasy or something?

1:31:51 Caller I hope not.

1:31:52 Drew Was there anything else you're doing? LSD, mushrooms, speed?

1:31:56 Caller I drank a little bit, but I do that normally.

1:31:58 Caller All right.

1:32:00 Adam You had you had a bad outing and now you're all up in your head.

1:32:04 Drew Did you panic when you were smoking pot?

1:32:06 Caller Actually, I got very, very depressed and I was talking about wanting to die.

1:32:11 Caller All right.

1:32:11 Drew Well, some people get panicked and depressed. You got freaked. People get these strange reactions from pot once in a while and the panic type reactions can be perpetuated. They can keep going and that can make it difficult to have sex. And if you're still depressed since you smoked the pot, which is a very unusual reaction, yeah, you can still have trouble with sexual functioning as a result of that. That should pass though. But also just to get seen about something like that.

1:32:34 Adam Here's the thing. There's nothing physiological going on with you. You got freaked out.

1:32:39 Drew No, there can be. Almost anything, almost any chemical can induce weird depressions in some people.

1:32:45 Adam Alright, yeah. It's called the lightweight syndrome.

1:32:47 Drew Yeah, it's lightweight.

1:32:48 Adam Alright, buddy, get over it. Get humping. We'll be back after this. Well, that's a short one. Thanks for tuning in. Tomorrow being Tuesday's big jug Tuesday. Yeah, yeah, Louie the 14th here. Yeah, I read that Roman numerology. Louie the 14th gonna be in here tomorrow night. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying Mahalo. I'm going down to the dildo store. You need anything?

1:33:39 Drew Yes, sir, Mr. Corolla.

1:33:42 Caller It's been Loveline.

1:33:43 Caller Loveline.

1:33:45 Adam The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Monday, March 21, 2005