Episode 1000702261633

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:04 Voiceover Sexually-oriented content.

1:08 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:14 Voiceover This is Loveline.

1:18 Voiceover With Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:21 Voiceover Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE. Turn the guest up. We don't have a guest tonight, but on nights we don't, I miss hearing Anderson scream, turn the guest up to my engineer Chris. Yeah, yeah. Every single time we have a guest. All right. 1-800-LOVE-E191, Dr. Drew, board certified physician. Dizh, bezh, baa, blah. Yeah, buddy.

1:47 Drew Yeah, here we go. Let's break it down.

1:49 Adam Let's break it down. Drew brought something in from his computer, everybody.

1:53 Drew Shocking.

1:54 Adam Yeah. What is it? Calling all nerds.

1:56 Drew Two women want to marry Scott Peterson within hours of arriving at death row.

2:01 Adam Shocking.

2:02 Drew And I was thinking, what is that? You know what it is? Women sometimes, certain women have a belief that they can have a special appreciation of the injured little boy within, and they have a special understanding of him, and the other world doesn't understand this poor special person, and only they can magically bring it out. What the hell was Mother Nature thinking about when she put that impulse in a woman?

2:23 Adam I don't know. I mean, I've seen specials on these women who marry the guys in the joint. They're surprisingly good looking for the most part. I mean, you would picture somebody just had an anchor dragged across them on the ground, you know? They are better looking than half the guys I know as wives. It's scary. Not the Drew man, but what I'm saying is you would picture, okay, this person can't land anyone on the outside. Oh, contraire, they can. There's numerous reasons, I believe, why women go after guys that are in the joint. One is that whole intimacy thing we're talking about.

3:02 Drew Yeah, they're all trauma survivors and stuff.

3:04 Adam You get to have a fantasy relationship for the rest of your life. No pressure. In a certain way, I mean, Drew, now as a man of passion, you must engage in intercourse every 26 to 29 minutes or you'll explode. But imagine if that component was surgically cut out of you. Now, you minus the sex part, which is minus for a lot of these women, because a lot of these women were sexually abused or whatever. They're completely shut down sexually.

3:36 Drew Yeah.

3:37 Adam That intimacy freaks them out. Well, now they just have someone in a cage, essentially, a few miles up the road. They get to write a nice letter.

3:44 Drew Leaving or cheating. There he is. He's right there.

3:47 Adam Right.

3:47 Drew Where's he going?

3:48 Adam As a guy, if I wasn't interested in the sex part, this would be an ideal relationship for me, too.

3:55 Drew With a woman in a cage.

3:56 Adam Drew, admit it. If our wives were in jail up the street, it would be a better life for us. We'd visit them. We'd never get into arguments.

4:04 Drew You'd like a better life for them, maybe.

4:07 Adam Of everyone.

4:08 Drew Yeah.

4:09 Adam You'd be hanging out with guys for a change, doing your thing. The point is, for a woman who isn't so interested in the sexual part, necessarily, of the relationship, and especially these women, this can be an ideal relationship. Well, if the guy was out of the joint and living with them, he'd be pressuring them for sex four times a week.

4:30 Drew Good point, good point.

4:31 Adam No pressure for sex.

4:33 Drew And yet you know how humans are with their drive to get a relationship. There's gotta be an erotic component to that drive.

4:38 Adam Yeah, but all you get is sort of the cuddling part.

4:41 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

4:43 Adam It's interesting. And then, here's what you get, then, as a woman. You get the cuddling component, and you get the pure fantasy. Oh, first off, he was framed. Secondly, he's a great guy.

4:53 Drew He's a special. I appreciate this.

4:55 Adam Thirdly, all he does is think about me, morning, noon, and night.

5:00 Drew No other girls are going to get at him?

5:01 Adam No.

5:02 Drew He's not going to get at them anyway?

5:03 Adam No.

5:04 Drew Although I'm sure he'll find a way.

5:06 Adam Once in a while, and then when they study these cases, what happens is the guy gets out, eventually, he moves in with them, it lasts for six months, and he splits.

5:15 Sure.

5:17 Adam Of course.

5:18 Drew Of course.

5:18 Adam Of course. And it's not going to work for either one of them once he gets out.

5:21 Drew Right. First of all, he's a cheater or some kind of sociopath.

5:24 Adam So what's nice in the joint?

5:25 Drew Yeah, he's not sick around. And she can't handle a relationship. So right. It's not going to work.

5:30 Adam Well, think about this. It's like fish can't survive in the air. We can't survive under the water. There you go. They have a relationship that is unlike anything. He's they never see each other, whatever you.

5:42 Drew Well, they get conjugal visits.

5:44 Adam Now, I don't I don't think some of them do. Some of them don't.

5:47 Drew What?

5:48 Adam They don't all they can get married. A lot of them get married in the joint, but don't get conjugal.

5:53 Drew I think that's what allows them to get some conjugal visits.

5:55 Adam Explain their marriage like, well, what was your wedding cake was a Twinkie from the vending machine. Although who's dumber, me, who paid 3500 bucks for a photographer.

6:05 Drew Thank you.

6:05 Adam Some pictures I've never seen in my life. And then I get this one. Oh, that's cheap. It is. Yeah, it's cheap. For pictures. Yeah, yeah. It's not it's not a film crew shooting a documentary. One year with Adam Corolla. It's a it's four hours with Adam drinking a beer and doing the Macarena. Yeah, 3500 cheap. And there's always one a whole friend of theirs that paid way too much.

6:31 Drew Oh, yeah.

6:32 Adam Connie Canetti. Like I'm supposed to feel good. Listen, Kobe bought his wife a ring for eight million dollars. There's always someone who was stupid and paid more.

6:44 Drew Right. Yes.

6:45 Adam Connie from work. Oh, her cake, twelve hundred twenty three thousand dollars. All right. Oh, so my cake's only thirteen thousand dollars. I dodged a bullet. But don't worry, they're going to wear this dress.

6:57 Drew Twinkie, I thought these guys get married in order to have conjugal visits.

7:00 Adam I it's here's the thing with the conjugal visits. As far as I know, it varies a little bit. Some of them get it. Some of them.

7:09 Drew Different states, different.

7:10 Adam Depending on what they're in for and some things like that. And it used to be different. Guys used to sire kids from the joint. Manson family members used to have kids in the joint. And this all came up a few moments ago when Drew was talking about Scott Peterson getting his marriage proposals. But I was sitting over at Kimmel today and I was looking at the newspaper and you know, it's a big deal. Oh, he got the death penalty. He's going to fry in hell. Yeah. Richard Ramirez, the Night Stalker. The guy was scaring the crap out of me when I was in high school. He's still on death row.

7:46 Drew 20 years ago.

7:47 Adam That was 20 years ago. There there's a large group of people. I mean, look, if this is a deli, you got a guy who's got a number. You got a guy who's got number 15. You just pulled number 138 and he's had number 15 for 25 years.

8:02 Drew That's right.

8:04 Adam You figure you're next. Yeah. According to my math, Scott Peterson is going to dive liver spots before he gets the lethal injection. And here's the other thing, too. Evidently, now these guys get their choice.

8:20 Drew Oh, how they go?

8:20 Adam Yes. Yeah. I would just kill them with like compressed air. I just put an air hose right up their ass, blow them up like popped. But here's the other thing. Here's the other thing. I was thinking about. What did you do? I would. I killed with compressed air. I was thinking about a lot of things, which is these guys are going to die via lethal injection. Everybody who's listening to the show is going to die eventually. And I guarantee it's all going to be more miserable than lethal injection.

8:50 Drew For sure.

8:51 Adam Because there's going to be horrific.

8:52 Drew We can't do that to normal people. We can't do that for them.

8:56 Adam That's that's what I was saying. They're, ironically, they're people dying of Lou Gehrig's disease right now, who are waiting for Kevorkian to get out of the joint so they can get a lethal injection and go down. Meanwhile, Scott Peterson is being punished. We're going to die in horrific accidents, slowly through cancer.

9:14 Drew Don't do mushrooms and have this thought.

9:17 Adam It's too late. I'm freaked out already. Do you realize we live in a society where Dr. Kevorkian is in the joint forgiving people, lethal injections, people who wanted it, people who chose to end their life because of their debilitating diseases. And everyone's freaked out about Scott Peterson.

9:35 Drew By the way, why didn't he speak up? I didn't do it. You would think if he didn't do it or even wanted to put on a facade about how he done it.

9:41 Adam Seemed like he did it.

9:42 Drew You know what I mean? He's not like, oh, I didn't do it.

9:45 Adam Yeah, he's a man. But here's the other thing, too, as I was looking through the paper today, I was realizing that, you know, the Night Stalker, Richard Ramirez, is still in the joint. That crazy Vietnamese guy, Ning, his last name is like NG. Leave it to the Viet Cong to come up with NG for last name. But his last name is named after a spark plug. The point is, is this the guy who had the torture cabin, who brought the 11 people there, including the two kids, and would just bring them in the middle of the woods and bring them down to the basement and just sort of film them and torture them and torture them and film them for months and just keep them captive, the crazy ghoulish stuff. And then what's his name? The guy who killed Polly Klaus, that animal. The guy who was on the stand telling Polly's dad that she wanted it. Oh yeah, oh yeah. He's waiting. Everyone's waiting. We can't kill anybody. We hand out the death sentence. We just can't actually enact it.

10:51 Drew In the meantime, they're just sitting there taking some sun on the bay front there in San Quentin.

10:56 Adam Look, we got to kill these guys. We got to kill these guys because we said we were going to kill these guys. That's the law. I mean, we gave them the death sentence. Let's give them the death sentence. If we're going to give it to them. I mean, until the law changes, we have laws for other things. We have laws for drugs. We have laws for speeding. They're on the books. You get a speeding ticket, you don't just, I'm not going to be paying that. You get popped for possession of narcotics. You don't go, they'll never, they're never going to catch up to me. That'd be 50 years before they do anything. No, they're on top of everything. Why don't we just kill these guys? Or let's decide that we shouldn't kill them and not sentence them to death. They're sentenced to death. And the real reason we need to kill these guys is other than they deserve... Well, here's the other thing. It's like, where's your humanity? Hey, these guys tortured 11 people. Where's your humanity? That's my question.

11:56 Drew Right. I'm with you on that.

11:57 Adam I'm more human than you are. I want to kill the guy who killed this kid's son, the daughter, the mother, who raped the 11-year-old, pulled her out of her house, raped her and killed her up in the hills. You think you're more human than me because you want them to live? How dare you? I'm a bad person? And by the way, let's use your strategy. We never should have killed any Germans in World War II. Well, sure, they marched 6 million Jews off to the gas chamber. We should have went over there and reasoned with them. We're just as bad as they are. We killed them. We're not just as bad as they are. They killed a bunch of Jews, so we went over there and killed them. But that's not just as bad. That's 10 million times as good. That's better than people that don't kill them. Yes?

12:50 Drew Yes.

12:51 Adam You got Germans, they marched Jews off to an oven and they kill them. There's one group that sits around and does nothing. There's another group who goes over there and kills the Germans. Now you tell me which group's better.

13:03 Drew The ones that kicks a little ass.

13:05 Adam Obviously. So, do the math through the guy who tortures 11 people in this underground chamber.

13:11 Drew You know well.

13:12 Adam Thank you.

13:13 Drew We cannot judge.

13:14 Adam That's impossible to judge.

13:15 Drew We cannot judge because they just had their way. That was just their culture to be frying people and we cannot judge.

13:21 Adam Right. According to these posties, according to your math, we shouldn't do anything ever. Well, let them do their thing. We can't get involved. Again, you march a bunch of Jews to an oven and we kill you. We're just as bad as you are or we're bigger animals or worse. We're a billion times better. How dare all of you? Let's just kill these guys. They killed somebody. We kill them. Not every life is precious. Let's just start from there. We got we got billions of people on the planet. Let's just snuff out a few troublemakers. We should be snuffing out troublemakers. Troublemakers bring down trade centers, troublemakers blow up buses in Tel Aviv. Troublemakers take nine-year-olds and rape them and kill them. We need to kill those people. Let's do it. I'll give you guys a even better hypothetical. Close your eyes right now. Picture a world where everybody, every terrorist, every serial killer, every psychopath, everybody who thought about taking some cheerleader out to the desert and raping her and killing her, decide to rape your nine-year-old and bury him in a shallow grave, and every terrorist who wanted to fly a plane into the Pentagon. Imagine if they all just magically evaporated right now. They just evaporated. Boom.

14:38 Drew Evaporated. Because we showed them love and attention.

14:40 Adam No. I'm saying they just disintegrated right now. What kind of utopia? Could you imagine the collective sigh of relief from the world's people? Wouldn't that be the... You would take to the streets and cheer and sleep with your door open at night. So, let's use that same method, apply it to the vermin that's in the joint. Thank you.

15:03 Drew Agreed.

15:03 Adam All right. Drew's with me. Vengeance. Jennifer?

15:07 Yeah.

15:08 Adam You're 27? What's up?

15:13 Caller Okay. Number one, I had a relationship about two years ago, and it went very, very badly. He got into cocaine, and he started fantasizing about what it would be like to give another guy a job. He started using my vibrator. He just, he...

15:34 Adam Hold on. That's just gay. That's, you know, you don't do blow.

15:39 Caller Okay.

15:39 Adam And then start fantasizing about giving a guy BJ. You're just gay in the first place.

15:43 Drew Right.

15:44 Caller Well, he was like the ultimate macho guy, guys. He was like a weightlifter and all this stuff, a bouncer. I mean, he was hard for.

15:51 Drew So what?

15:52 Adam It's called overcompensation.

15:53 Drew Yeah, so what do you call him, the bear type?

15:55 Adam Yeah. Yeah, you saw the village people.

15:57 Drew Yeah.

15:58 Adam A lot of muscles and leather.

16:00 Caller Oh, sure.

16:01 Adam Where do you think the leather fag was born from? Shaps and vests, no shirt, bushy mustache.

16:07 Caller So, I mean, it was kind of a big surprise.

16:10 Drew What's your question?

16:11 Caller Well, I kind of have a long history of Frying Pan to the Fire, and I'm having kind of a hard time. It's been two years and I haven't ever dated anyone since then. And I'm just, how do you get past that? You know, how do you get past that in your head? How do you not look at another guy and go, what are you going to do? You know?

16:33 Adam Yeah, well, you got to recalibrate your radar a little bit and then you have to trust.

16:40 Drew But by the way, every single woman, every single man on earth does this to a woman.

16:45 Adam Yeah, we're all big leather fags who get coked up and blow our friends.

16:49 Drew Yeah, exactly. The only thing, the only thing, the only variable in this that is a constant is you and that you should be careful of who you're attracted to because you'll tend to select problems.

17:02 Caller I know this guy had problems. I don't debate that at all. But I mean, the guys don't come up to you and say, hi, I'm a freak. You know, I mean, it's not like that, you know, you can't do it.

17:09 Drew Yeah, well, where's the deal? You're attracted to them, so you ought to be careful. If you're attracted to them, there's going to be a problem. That's it.

17:15 Caller I don't know the difference. They show up, like, you know.

17:17 Adam I'll tell you how you know the difference. You sit on the planet for 27 years, you keep your eyes and ears open.

17:23 Caller Oh, you know.

17:24 Adam I'll quit your rap. She's rappy.

17:29 Drew She got a lot of stuff going on. You get scratched under the surface there.

17:32 Adam We're getting back to you, Jennifer. Don't hang out. But we haven't talked about this in a long time, Drew, which is all you have is a human being, is your ability to sort of judge, even though we can't judge, and make sense of and, well, I hate to say it, but to profile. That's what you have, whether it's a friend, a colleague, a boss. I mean, here's the deal. If you have a life where you enter into business agreements with unscrupulous types to rip you off, when you enter into marriages or relationships with people that cheat on you and stab you in the back, and where you have friendships with people that cheat on you and stab you, think about that life. It's ruined. It's the definition of a horrible life. You buy a car from a guy who sold you a piece of junk. You buy land that's covered with swamp water. You get in a relationship with someone who cheats on you and does coke and steals your money.

18:26 Drew So how do you change that?

18:28 Adam I don't know how you tell people to sort of understand people. One thing you can't do is walk around sort of bewildered and announce that everyone is horrible.

18:39 Drew Right. No, you can't do that. You can also look at your own patterns and understand them. You can say, huh, every time I'm attracted to a guy, he turns out to be a drug addict or an a-hole.

18:48 Adam Can you just say every time I'm attracted to a guy, you just have to start with that huh?

18:52 Drew Huh? Every time I get attracted to a guy.

18:55 Adam It will work the same if you just want every time I'm attracted to a guy.

18:58 Drew You're right.

18:58 Adam All right.

18:59 Drew But I say, huh.

19:00 Adam Huh. Huh. Jennifer?

19:03 Caller Yeah.

19:04 Adam I don't know how you got to 27 years of age and miss so much.

19:09 Caller Actually, I haven't dated every single guy I dated. It hasn't been that way. It hasn't been that way.

19:15 Adam Well, there you go. Now you're answering your own question.

19:18 Caller But it never lasted as long as Pat.

19:21 Drew Was it?

19:21 Adam Pat. Ironically named Pat.

19:24 Caller Oh, come on.

19:26 Drew Was your dad a?

19:27 Adam Where's your dad? Is he a biker? Yeah.

19:29 Caller No.

19:30 Adam What's he do?

19:31 Caller My dad? He's a retired vet.

19:33 Drew A retired vet?

19:35 Caller Yeah.

19:36 Drew Veterinarian?

19:37 Caller No. No. Veteran.

19:39 Adam Military?

19:40 Caller Yeah.

19:41 Adam Okay.

19:42 Drew Retired vet?

19:43 Adam What?

19:43 Drew What does that mean?

19:45 Adam Well, I don't know if there is such, I think it's a little redundant.

19:47 Drew Yeah. If you were a fighter pilot, you say he's a retired fighter pilot.

19:50 Adam What did he do in the military?

19:52 Caller He worked exotic fuels in the Air Force.

19:56 Drew How long ago did he retire?

19:58 Caller Oh, it's been a long time. He didn't retire from that. He's retired and he's a vet. I mean, he's been a welder.

20:09 Drew Oh boy.

20:10 Adam He never had a motorcycle?

20:12 Caller Oh, I've been on him.

20:14 Adam Did he have motorcycles?

20:15 Caller No.

20:17 Drew No, he didn't.

20:18 Adam What kind of welder doesn't have a bike?

20:21 Caller It kind of works in diesel and trailers and stuff like that.

20:25 Adam All right. So this is a white trash guy.

20:27 Oh, I won't say that.

20:28 Caller That's my dad.

20:30 Adam I know, but he can be white trash. Listen, my dad's a pussy.

20:33 Caller No, my dad's a tough guy.

20:36 He's a tough guy.

20:37 Drew Did he beat you up growing up?

20:38 Adam Hold on a second. Yeah, white trash guys tend to be tough. Don't just wear like a prayer shawl and try to solve things with words.

20:46 Drew They're not like Pat.

20:50 Adam Well, they are, kind of. I mean, they got the weight lifted. Your dad's a white trash guy. No, no, no. Come on. He was a tough guy. He's a tough guy. Yeah, he's a welder, tough guy. He's called white trash. Yeah.

21:02 Caller Guys, I basically raised myself, okay? I've been on the bikes. I've been around bikers.

21:07 Drew Why did you have to raise yourself?

21:09 Adam I did get the biker thing coming out of her for some reason.

21:12 Caller Because you guys brought it up.

21:13 Drew Why did you... All right. Jennifer.

21:16 Adam Hey, Jennifer.

21:16 Drew Why did you raise yourself if your parents are such great people? Huh? If your parents are such great people, why did you have to raise yourself?

21:23 Caller Oh, I didn't say they were... Okay, look, I developed a relationship with my parents in the last few years. You know, it's not that they were always there, but they're there now.

21:33 Drew Were you in foster care or something?

21:35 Caller No.

21:35 Adam All right. Do you have any kids?

21:38 Caller No.

21:38 Adam Oh, good.

21:39 Drew Yeah, that's good.

21:40 Caller Thank you. Yeah.

21:40 Adam Now we're best friends.

21:41 Drew Fertility problems.

21:43 Adam You have fertility problems?

21:45 Caller No.

21:46 Adam Okay. That's just no...

21:47 Caller No, except for the fact that I don't date.

21:50 Adam All right, baby. Here's what I'm going to need you to do. I need you to stop listening to your crappy music, get away from your crappy motorcycles and change your life a little bit.

22:00 Caller Actually...

22:01 Adam I need to start learning about human beings.

22:03 Drew Yes.

22:03 Caller You have no idea what I... I know a lot about human beings. I know a lot about them. Enough that, you know, I don't date them.

22:10 Drew Yeah.

22:10 Adam Okay, perfect.

22:11 Drew Yeah. That's like a hyena knows a lot about...

22:14 Adam Yeah.

22:15 Drew Yeah.

22:15 Adam It's like saying, I know how dangerous food is so I don't eat.

22:19 Drew Right.

22:19 Adam Fantastic. Well, we'll see you in the grave.

22:22 Caller You had a point. I'm sorry.

22:23 Adam Okay. Here's what I'm saying. First off, stop announcing you know everything. When it doesn't seem like you by your own admittance, trust anybody or know anything about any of the guys you meet. Number two, realize that all guys aren't like old biker Pat. Number three, get a job and fight to keep it. I just said that because I was out of stuff.

22:50 Drew Your horrible family of origin stuff is coming to bear here. That's why you can't trust your instincts.

22:56 Adam Right. Okay. Your family was crappy. You don't know that much. It's time to listen a little classical music and take a walk. Stop worrying about your next set of chaps, your next hat. And find yourself a guy who's a little bit boring.

23:11 Drew Yeah.

23:11 Adam Stay away from the biker rambling guy.

23:13 Drew Oh, yeah.

23:14 Adam No, you'll be fine. All right. Now, see, you know, the thing that's weird is I brought up biker. I thought her dad was a biker. I got biker from her biker was coming off her.

23:24 Drew I was hearing ZZ Top music.

23:26 Adam Yeah. I was I was hearing like Steppenwolf in the background and her or just just a whole montage of her going through the desert on a hog. But it's an interesting thing. And not that, you know, you need a crystal ball to figure out who's a biker. But we don't talk to any biker chicks and she never brought it up or anything. It comes through.

23:50 Drew Yeah.

23:50 Adam And it's not just in a tonally. It just comes through.

23:54 Drew Yeah.

23:55 Adam I don't even know, though, but here's the thing. But but we get attitude all goddamn night. You have not biker. Yeah.

24:01 Drew It's a certain kind of attitude.

24:03 Adam But here's the thing. We this is the thing that's interesting to me about the human brain, which is your your brain is doing millions of computations a second.

24:14 Drew Right.

24:15 Adam Constantly trying to figure out what it's dealing with.

24:17 Drew Right.

24:18 Adam And what's in front of it.

24:19 Drew Right.

24:19 Adam This is why I always laugh when they say no profiling.

24:23 Drew Right.

24:23 Adam Because your brain is constantly.

24:24 Drew It's how it works.

24:25 Adam It's like one of those computers when they put that DNA in and they try to find a match.

24:29 Drew Right. Right.

24:29 Adam And it goes to every other computer. So when you talk to somebody, your brain is just trying to find a match. All the people you've ever spoken to in your life.

24:38 Drew That's absolutely true.

24:38 Adam And then it doesn't. Now, there's no absolutes because it's not it's not it's not a perfect science or perfect system. But what's what ends up happening is that something starts swelling in you. And for some reason, the word biker comes into my head.

24:53 Drew Yeah.

24:55 Adam I don't know why. And it's not perfect. So I think her dad was a biker.

24:58 Drew You got to remember that the the way we respond to other circumstances emotionally is sort of in blocks. You know, we're sort of taking the tone, the attitude, this and we're sort of creating a sort of a gestalt. And then that gestalt creates associations in our mind and associations are as easy. Top of trailers, desert, hogs, how? She's a biker.

25:19 Adam Mm hmm. Like a gestalt is like an overall picture.

25:21 Drew Yeah, like yes, like yes.

25:23 Adam Thank you. All right. If engineer Chris was here, his head would explode. Gestalt. We could ask him who gestalt was.

25:31 Drew It's like an aha experience, aha.

25:34 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, all right. Well, if you ask engineer Chris what gestalt is, he'll tell you it's a German telling you to stop. Huh?

25:45 Drew You can stop or after you sneeze. Something a German says.

25:49 Adam We'll take ourselves a break. We'll be right back after this.

25:54 1-800-LOVE-191. Loveline.

25:57 Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

26:00 Caller We'll be right back.

26:15 Adam Good day, everybody. Love Line.

26:18 Drew We'll just put a camera in here an hour before we start and come and film you.

26:21 Adam Yes. Yeah. Hey, Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1-er. Engineer, what's his name? Yeah, Michelle. Engineer, Michelle is on the computer looking up some nice death row things.

26:39 Drew I know, what are you doing, Michelle?

26:40 Adam Firing squad.

26:41 Caller I was just curious to see how each state you know.

26:45 Adam Yeah, legal injection is the majority. Not satisfying.

26:50 Caller No, it's not. Legal, Florida has the electric chair.

26:55 Adam Legal injection is what you do to a cherished family pet whose dysplasia has kicked into such a stage where she can't make it out of her bed anymore and is crapping on herself and this is the humane thing to do.

27:09 Drew What you would like to do sometimes to people that are suffering in their diseases.

27:13 Adam Yes. This is not punishment. A punishment is like I said, it's the compressed air, it's the M-80.

27:25 Drew M-80 up the ass? Is that the one?

27:27 Adam Anyway, but up the ass is good. Here's a better way of doing it for me. I like, I would say, here's what I like, look, we're going to let you go free. We're going to kill you sometime in the next five years.

27:40 Drew Nice.

27:40 Adam Now, that could be tomorrow, that could be in four years, 364 days.

27:46 Drew A little death row lottery.

27:47 Adam And we're not going to tell you how we're going to kill you. So every time, every time you start your car, you can think about it. Every time you stand by the window at night with the light on, you can think about it. We could put a bullet in your head, we could blow up your car. We'll have a guy stab you with an ice pick. Either way, sometime in the next five years, we're going to put you down. Go and enjoy. Yeah, that's what I'd like to do. And when I'm in charge, that's the way we'll do it. Yeah.

28:14 Drew That's your toys.

28:15 Adam Good Schwarzenegger movie. The Killer Guy-er. Yeah. What do you got there, Drew?

28:21 Drew Oh, I have a thing for my Discovery Channel show. We're looking for loveline callers. Want to go on television to discuss sexual secrets that they're hiding from their partners or fears.

28:31 Adam Who the hell's going to do that?

28:32 Drew I know. Fears or aversions that prevent them from having a sexual life. People are afraid of going down. People are afraid of having oral sex. People are afraid of...

28:40 Adam There's like germs.

28:41 Drew Germ stuff. There's people having the period freak them out. All these sort of things. We will have you on television to talk about if you want.

28:49 Adam Remember what I said, I'm like going down and so on with my deviated septum. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

29:00 Drew It's a lovely sound.

29:01 Adam Yeah. So you guys can breathe through your nose.

29:03 Drew It really should be one of the settings on those little devices that help you sleep. Help you sleep.

29:07 Adam From the sharper image. Yeah.

29:08 Drew You have ocean.

29:10 Adam You want to hear the babbling brook.

29:11 Drew Babbling brook.

29:12 Adam Rainforest.

29:13 Drew Rainforest.

29:14 Adam You want to hear Adam going down and so on.

29:19 Drew Very sweet, restful sound.

29:21 Adam Yeah.

29:22 Nice.

29:23 Adam You know, I got one of those noisemakers.

29:25 Drew I think I got it for you.

29:26 Adam Oh, really?

29:27 Drew Maybe you did.

29:28 Adam No, you got me some headphones. Okay. Let me say this. Alright, hold on. I got a lot of things to say about headphones. I got that noisemaker. I used to put on the rain. The rain one sounded like rain. Except for, I would lay there in bed and I would hear when it would repeat. Which was only about every seven or eight seconds. Meaning, it has a chip in it obviously that does not, they don't just go record 26 hours of rain. They record, can hold, you know, 10 seconds of a rain sound. And then it...

30:04 Drew There's some little cricket that repeats or something.

30:06 Adam It starts to develop a pattern. And it's not every five minutes, it's every 10 seconds. I started picturing the pattern, fixating on the pattern, and then it became more annoying than nothing.

30:18 Drew That's bad.

30:18 Adam You can hear the pattern in it.

30:19 Drew That's a bad time. So we need to come up with a better widget here. Come up with a machine that repeats every 20 minutes or something.

30:24 Adam Yeah, I'll be fine. I'll be fine with that.

30:26 Drew What about headphones?

30:28 Adam All I'm saying is, is Drew got me a pair of these Bose noise counseling headphones some years back for birthday or something. They're excellent except for after using them three times, one of the one of the one of the ears went bad. Nothing came out of one of the ears. Then I do what I do, which is I then put it in the closet for a year and a half, and then eventually get around to calling the Bose people. They tell you the warranty is voided even though the thing. I got the new ones. They're better. They're better. But here's my point. Then I got another pair of these SineHauser ones that work real nice. Except for that, one of those ear things went bad, and then you get the ones that come with the Walkman or the iPod. If you jog around enough and sweat enough, that one goes bad. And like I said, my wife just tossed these $200 ones because one of the ears went bad. There's got to be a way to fix these headphones when the ear gets crappy because there's nothing wrong with the thing. It's just that it's that bad, that weird connection down where it goes in, where it plugs into the iPod or into the socket. It's nothing. Can somebody either do a repair place, or devise ones that don't break? I don't know what it is, but I throw away brand new and tons of earphones every year. And there's really nothing wrong with them, but a bad connection. Thank you, Huell. All right.

31:48 Drew Here we go.

31:49 Adam Drew, do you experience that?

31:51 Drew Yes, and I'm very appreciative of the new ones. The number two, the second new version of the Bose headphones has a release thing.

31:57 Adam Ah, it doesn't yank on it.

31:59 Drew It doesn't yank. It just pulls out. The whole thing comes out.

32:01 Adam Smart. Yeah. Rochelle?

32:05 Hello?

32:05 Adam 19?

32:06 Yeah.

32:08 Adam Why do people freak out? Boyfriend, she's a lesbian.

32:11 Drew Because.

32:12 Adam Oh, because, oh, I see. Why do people freak out? Because you're a lesbian. They act weird around you. Yes?

32:21 Caller Yeah, like girls act all like snobby, you know, and think it's gross, but then guys love it.

32:28 Adam Yeah.

32:29 Drew That's not acting weird. That's just telling how they feel.

32:32 Adam But why are you telling them you're a lesbian?

32:35 Caller Well, I don't just go around telling everybody, but I have a girlfriend, you know, so they know.

32:40 Adam All right.

32:41 Caller I don't hide it, you know.

32:42 Drew You're like, do you make out in public, that kind of thing?

32:45 Caller Yeah.

32:46 Adam All right.

32:46 Drew You're a lesbian. Well, maybe people react when heterosexual couples do that, then naturally enough they'd react with the same sex to it.

32:53 Adam Here's the thing, Rochelle. Hang out with different people.

32:59 Drew Here's what Adam's getting at.

33:00 Adam I know it's not satisfying to you, because you like making a stir. Right.

33:03 Drew That's what Adam's getting at. This stuff you bring upon yourself, you want it that way.

33:06 Adam Everybody who doesn't like all the attention they get loves all the attention they get.

33:10 Drew Well, whether they love it or not, they create it.

33:13 Adam When I say loves, I just mean you need it. Yeah. Here's the whole thing. You can be a big celebrity lesbian and not have any problems if you conduct your life a certain way.

33:26 Drew Quietly, yes.

33:27 Adam It's kind of interesting. Think about the celebrities that are huge that you just never see anywhere. You never hear them written about anything.

33:33 Drew Like who do you mean?

33:34 Adam I don't know. Take someone like Dustin Hoffman.

33:36 Drew Yeah.

33:37 Adam You just you never see him in any trades. You never see him on any late night shows. He's just a huge celebrity that you never hear about anything about in any way, shape or form, really. You don't. I mean, you know, I think we don't change a bulldozer. One of the nuclear power plant.

33:52 Drew The one that plays Catherine Hepburn in the aviator. Yeah.

33:55 Adam Yeah. Cate Blanchett.

33:57 Drew She is under the she she's a spectacular actress, very busy. And I've read stuff about what you do. Oh, is she lesbian?

34:05 Caller Well, no, she's just done in a lot of indie films where she plays a lesbian.

34:09 Drew No, I understand that. But but she she and you never straight. She's never you never hear about her out and about ever.

34:15 Adam Yeah, I know. But I know. All right. But she's not a household names. Nice actress. Good actress. Great actress.

34:23 Drew Academy Award winning.

34:25 Adam She did win. What? You know, two months ago, Tony Foster, Tony Foster is another good one, which is, yeah, you hear some dyke jokes. But the point is, is you don't see her on anything. You don't see her on any tabloids. You don't see pictures of her. She's not out making a scene. There's no red carpet. All I'm saying is, is if you want to fly under the radar, you can. If A-list celebrities can make it under the radar, lesbians from Missouri can squeak under, too.

34:49 Drew There you go.

34:50 Adam So if that's what you really want, that's what you have to do. And yes, sometimes it's not right that you get judged. But who cares? Stay away.

35:01 Drew She didn't say the people were disparaging her. She said they just were sort of acting. They were, you know, guys were into it, girls were.

35:06 Adam She was going down that road.

35:07 Drew Yeah. There we go.

35:09 Adam Okay. Joelle or Joel?

35:14 Joel.

35:16 Caller Joel.

35:17 Drew Call her who goes by Joel.

35:19 Adam 22. Something happened to Joel? Let's talk to, is that a female, Lee? Lee. Lee?

35:26 Yes.

35:27 Adam 21?

35:28 Uh-huh.

35:29 Adam What's up, Perky?

35:30 What's up?

35:31 Adam Yeah.

35:32 I'm really late.

35:33 Adam You sound hot, though.

35:36 Yeah, I guess I'm pretty hot.

35:38 Adam Yeah.

35:38 All right. Well, actually, I was calling to get some advice about my little sister.

35:47 Adam You're talking about your vagina?

35:49 What?

35:50 Drew No, keep going. Keep going.

35:52 She got sexually abused by our stepdad when she...

35:58 Adam Sorry, very bad.

35:58 Drew Did that happen to you, too?

35:59 No. Oh, no.

36:01 Adam Just your vagina?

36:02 I was... I mean, I was probably too old, let's say. They got married when I was, like, 12 or 13.

36:08 Drew All right. So what's going on? What's the question?

36:10 But she was 13. Well, like, actually, it was a little bit before her 13th birthday. And, I mean, it was, like, this big thing. She, like, told her school.

36:20 Drew I mean...

36:21 And everything. Like, we had attorneys. But, of course, it, you know, got pushed under the table. They got good attorneys and never talked about it after that.

36:30 Drew What's up now? What's the question?

36:32 Adam I don't understand that part.

36:33 She's 17 now. And, like, about 10 months ago, she was over at one of her friends' house, and my stepdad hit her in her face. And, like, in front of a lot of people...

36:44 Drew Is it the same guy that's actually abused her?

36:46 Yes. My mom doesn't believe him. My mom's crazy.

36:49 Drew Oh, my God.

36:50 Adam By the way, you know, that's Wave Us.

36:52 Drew Yeah.

36:53 Adam You get popped for sexual abuse.

36:56 Drew Stay with that guy, and then the guy becomes physically abusive? Wow.

37:00 Adam I know.

37:01 Drew All right, what's the question?

37:02 Okay, so she's out of the house. She, like, she put herself into, like, the state custody, and they kind of looked into it. And they saw, like, reason that she didn't need to be there. And all this time, I'm 21 now. I had, I had a baby when I was 17, and I got out of the house, and didn't really talk to her much, because...

37:24 Adam I'm going to wait on a limb here. Jews. Yeah.

37:28 Caller Yeah.

37:28 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

37:29 Caller Yeah.

37:31 Adam I know a Jew when I hear a Jew. Lee?

37:33 I am not a Jew.

37:34 Caller What?

37:36 Adam What? Oh, all right, but your stepfather, your stepfather's a rabbi, right? I mean...

37:41 No, you've got to guess that I am. You can probably, you can probably guess.

37:45 Adam But your stepdad's Jewish, right?

37:46 No, no, he's not any religion.

37:49 Adam Oh, my God.

37:50 He's just pure evil.

37:53 Adam My goodness. I'll tell you, sometimes I'm right on, but other times... Mormon.

37:56 Mormon.

37:58 Drew Wow.

37:59 Adam Shocking.

38:00 Drew That's even wilder. Are you a Mormon?

38:02 Adam Man, not really. All right, look, I don't even understand the whole part about your stepfather molesting your sister and her ratting him out in the school and everything, and then somehow high power to Johnny Cochran flies into Arkansas and all of a sudden he's walking.

38:18 Drew Are you a Mormon? Anyway.

38:21 Adam All right.

38:22 Okay. So she's out of the house, kind of...

38:24 Drew So both of you ran away, basically both of you ran away from home into some sort of marriage or relationship or pregnancy to get out of this abusive... And what's your question?

38:34 My question is, she's 17. She's dropped out of high school, like wanting to go to beauty college. And I'm really, I did not want her to do that. I dropped out of high school. I'm back in college now though. And I know how important high school is now. And I really tried to talk to her and say, you know, you need to stay there. But...

38:53 Adam Okay, let me, let me say this, Lee, you know, my feelings as a proud reject from the warehouse known as North Hollywood High. Some people get a lot out of high school. Others are just sort of warehoused, making connections, eating, socializing. I'm going to guess your sister is the latter. She's being warehoused there. Let her go to beauty school. Let her learn a trade. Let her get licensed.

39:21 That's good. That's really good that she's going. That's just a part of my question. But anyway, she has this boyfriend that's just this worthless guy. I mean, you can just tell that he's amazing. And she's wanting to get married to him. And I'm like, I've already been down that road. And I can just see what's going to happen.

39:39 Adam Well, here's what you need to do. I think you need to support her in her beauty school endeavor. As far as your boyfriend goes.

39:48 Drew So at least when this thing falls apart, she'll have a way of supporting herself.

39:50 Adam You're not going to be able to talk her out of her boyfriend. But here's what you have.

39:53 Drew Listen, she was sexually abused. She was physically abused.

39:56 Adam You have to get her on birth control.

39:59 Caller Yeah. Oh, she is. Okay.

40:01 Adam That, okay.

40:01 Drew Number two, in therapy, if possible.

40:03 Adam Possible. But priority, job one, don't get pregnant.

40:06 Drew Yeah, job one.

40:07 Adam Job two, stay in...

40:10 Drew Beauty College.

40:11 Adam Beauty College. That's right.

40:12 Drew Yep.

40:12 Adam Notice the laughing about speaking to the Jews today. You know, they always think about the death row. You know, you get your last meal. I would go with the bottomless salad bowl, by the way, which would just go on forever. Now, I'm going to refill. I'm going to fill up one of them cherry tomatoes, and I want some of those miniature corn things that no one likes. But, and more beets. But, you know, it's funky, too, when you get to the bottom of the hard-boiled egg, and there's just a crumbs.

40:44 Yeah.

40:45 Adam Yeah.

40:45 Drew That's kind of weird.

40:46 Adam Yeah, it's kind of weird. I like when they're on top, where you can tell what they were.

40:48 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

40:49 Adam But anyway, so you eat your last meal, then, you know, you make your piece, where you have your priest, the priest comes in, and that's off to off to the chair. But never hear about the rabbi coming in. Think about that. Never hear about the rabbi coming in.

41:04 Drew Can't think about that.

41:05 Adam All right. Let's just do that math, everybody. Never. You never hear like, yeah, yeah. Yeah. John Jesse James Walker Goldfarb ate his last meal of gefilte fish and lox. Actually said gefilte fish was a little dry. Anyway, he was complaining. I met with the rabbi, then another little kugel nosh, and then right to the chamber. They never hear about the guy with the rabbi. I don't even know if there are rabbi's. There's plenty of priests in prison. I don't know if they have to go.

41:40 Drew What happens in Israel?

41:43 Adam Even then, there's like this priest. I think, I don't know, you have to go out of the country to get a rabbi into a, where do you get a rabbi? I don't think a lot. Texas, it's going to be hard to find it. Yeah? All right. I'm just saying, everyone do the math. Do the math.

41:57 Drew Just saying.

41:58 Adam Just saying. Can't judge. Take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Loveline. Loveline. Loveline. Loveline.

42:23 Loveline.

42:25 Adam Loveline. Loveline. Loveline. Loveline. Loveline. Loveline. Loveline. Loveline. Loveline. Loveline.

42:30 Drew I know, I remember that.

42:31 Adam Yeah. Not saying he killed his wife, but out of, we've seen a lot of people on this show.

42:38 Drew Yeah.

42:39 Adam And outside of, well, it's him and Fiona Apple, the ones I realized were capable of doing a game with other human beings. Yeah, tough cookie, that one. She's tough, all four foot nine of her. Now, I remember, you know, this is not Byron Allen blows wind up the ass of B-list celebrities, this show. We'll wind up the Ass of C-List Celebrity Show.

43:06 Drew Right. And threatens to explode people with blowing air up their ass.

43:10 Adam Oh, good connection, Drew. But here's my point. People come on this show, they sit here for two hours, they answer questions, they forget, that's why there's so much cussing going on. They forget they're on the radio or even talking to anybody. And I like to think that we get to go places, which sounds pompous and ridiculous, but when people come on this show, depending on how many beers they have and how much they want to open up, you get a pretty good look at who you're sitting across for two hours. It's not a six minute overly produced segment on Conan. Right. Blake was in here, got a little glimpse.

43:49 Drew Ooh.

43:50 Adam Ooh. Ha ha. Yeah.

43:52 Drew Yeah.

43:52 Adam Remember that?

43:53 Drew Yeah.

43:53 Adam Yeah. It was like, uh-oh.

43:55 Drew Yeah, yeah.

43:55 Adam This guy's been seeing some things, done some things. Might do a few more things.

44:00 Drew There's a 10,000 yard stair.

44:02 Adam Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he was a freaky dude. Yeah. Definitely damaged goods. Well, by his own admission.

44:11 Drew Oh, I don't remember him talking about it.

44:12 Adam His dad used to lock him in the closet and all that kind of stuff. Remember we were over in Culver City and he was pointing at the hotel and saying, uh, that's where we used to do Little Rascals and the studio was right over here.

44:25 Drew Yes, I do remember that.

44:26 Adam My old man locked me in the closet.

44:28 Yeah, yeah.

44:29 Oof.

44:31 Adam Just to wave a gun around and stuff like that. He told some stories that were scary. Chilling at best.

44:37 Do you remember what he was promoting?

44:40 Adam He was...

44:41 Drew Was it a book or something? Yeah.

44:44 Adam It was... What was he promoting? It was... May have been something about it. Oh, no. You know what it was? Money Train with Woody Harrelson. Yes. Now who's high, Drew?

44:58 Caller A movie?

44:59 Adam I'm high.

45:00 Caller Wow.

45:01 Drew Who's high?

45:02 Adam I'm high.

45:03 Drew Wow.

45:03 Adam Woody Harrelson's high.

45:04 Drew Oh, yeah.

45:05 Adam Remember that movie Money Train?

45:09 Drew No.

45:10 Adam You're gonna remember.

45:11 Drew Really?

45:12 Adam Yeah. It was...

45:13 Drew I was looking it up.

45:14 Adam It was a little comeback. It was a little comeback thing for Blake. He played like the commissioner or something, Woody Harrelson was like a bank robber, subway kind of thing. Maybe Wesley Snipes was in it. Anderson, did you say something?

45:29 Caller Here we go. Wesley Snipes, Jennifer Lopez.

45:32 Caller Wow.

45:33 Oh, yes.

45:34 Adam No Woody Harrelson?

45:35 Yeah. Woody Harrelson, yes.

45:36 Caller All right.

45:37 Adam Well, I didn't see it, but I should get huge props.

45:40 Drew You should.

45:40 Adam Pull that one out of my ass.

45:42 1995.

45:44 Drew Oh my God. 10 years ago.

45:47 Adam Yeah.

45:47 Drew Well done.

45:48 Adam Thanks. High five.

45:48 Drew There you go.

45:49 Adam Yeah. And now make believe what I do with myself. Yeah, Drew.

45:52 Caller Yeah.

45:53 Adam Second one. All right. What the hell? Let's talk to Money Train. What the hell? I get that.

45:59 Drew It's pretty good.

46:00 Adam I can't remember my own address. Sarah.

46:03 Yeah.

46:04 Adam You're 18.

46:05 Caller Yes.

46:06 Adam What's up?

46:07 Caller OK. Well, I've been with this guy for about a year and a half. And I mean, it's a pretty good relationship. And before him, I was kind of off and on with this one guy and pretty much with us, it was just kind of like sex, but I really cared about him. And we both cheated on our exes with each other. And now it is mainly sex. And now he's come like he's talking to me again. And I'm really kind of confused because it's like I kind of think of the relationship that we could have had because it could have been great.

46:42 Drew Here's the deal. This is the guy you're just totally into. You're completely infatuated, but he's a bad guy. He's a troubled guy. He's going to be a troublesome relationship. You can go ahead and leave your current boyfriend. Don't just cheat with the guy. If you're going to cheat, leave your current boyfriend. All right. Then go ahead and try this, but this is not going to work out. Good luck. You need to learn. You need to try. You need to figure this stuff out. But this is going to be chaos, this relationship. It's what you're attracted to right now, but it's how you're going to learn how these things don't work.

47:09 Adam Wesley Snipes, Woody Harrelson, and what's his name? Yeah, Blake, making a comeback.

47:15 Drew All right.

47:15 Adam We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

47:19 All right, guys. Here's the deal.

47:21 Caller You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

47:24 One call is all you need to make.

47:25 Caller Call the Dateline.

47:26 Caller 877-889-DATE.

47:53 Adam Hey, everybody, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1-R. So, engineers, Michelle gives me a little statistic, which was in California, where Scott Peterson was sentenced to die. Seven out of, since 1977, have been put down. Wow. Yeah.

48:15 Drew That's amazing.

48:16 Adam Yeah, it's less than one every three years. Or, yeah, yeah, that is less than that. Yeah. Getting close to about four years, right?

48:26 Drew Yeah.

48:26 Adam Yeah. Right there. Right at four years. Yep. So, one guy goes down every four years. So, Scott's got a lot of guys ahead of him. He'll be there for a while. Yeah. It'll be, do not worry, ladies.

48:40 Drew He'll be available for some time.

48:42 Adam Scott, he's not going anywhere. He will be fielding and responding every marriage proposal he gets. Don't worry. You will get a return letter. Yeah. Fantastic. It might be bad publicity, but I'd like to marry him. How about that?

48:58 Drew Be interesting.

48:59 Adam It would be interesting. And I would do that thing like, you people don't know Scott. You don't know what we have.

49:05 Drew And I can't even explain it to you.

49:06 Adam You don't understand him.

49:07 Drew What we have is something private. We can't even talk about that. Yeah.

49:10 Adam I know.

49:11 Drew I know what I know.

49:12 Adam A side of Scott that you all don't know. You know, the fetus killer side, not me. I know a different side.

49:19 Drew I know that side.

49:20 Adam I was like, well, they have to explain it like when they get the BTK killer and they talk to the guy who was in his wee below troop with him for 22 years. No, I didn't know that side of him. No, you didn't. You didn't know the side that tortured and killed. No, you didn't. No. No. The side of him that I knew. Yeah. Father. I know. God fearing man. Yeah. Yeah. I know. It was explained that part. No one ever goes, what's wrong with you? How thick you got to be. I think if I had a buddy who was dismembering people and killing hookers and stuff like that, I get a little inkling.

49:57 Drew Yeah. Or you wouldn't hang out with them.

50:00 Adam That would get a bad, my spidey sense would start tumbling at a certain point.

50:04 Drew Yeah.

50:04 Adam Hey, Phil, looks like there's a hooker's arm hanging out of the trunk of your Civic.

50:09 Drew Yeah.

50:09 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

50:11 Drew What are you going to do? Yeah.

50:11 Adam What are you going to do? Yeah. Anyway, we got to make that Weeblow truth meeting. Let's get rolling. And that's right off to the we got to get to work on the dunk tank we're doing for the church fundraiser this weekend. Let's get going. Fantastic.

50:26 Caller All right.

50:27 Adam No one ever no one ever bust the chops of these guys. James is my best friend for 27 years. People like, yeah, I was like, there's a guess.

50:36 Caller Yeah.

50:36 Adam BTK killers. My best friend for 30 years. We're thick as Steve's. We went camping, went fishing. Aaron, Aaron's like, wow, it's got to be heartbreaking. Yeah. Disappointing, too. Yeah. No one ever goes, are you effing high?

50:47 Drew You should be guilty of commission yourself.

50:49 Something?

50:50 Drew How thick?

50:51 Adam What are you? What are you, a raccoon? You're a human being? First off, talk about recalibrating your radar. This guy's your best buddy? What's that say about you? Are you some kind of idiot? No one ever does that. Everyone's just like very sort of, there was like a lot of reference. Oh, mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, no. And then there was asked that question. Imagine, imagine that. Here he is being your best buddy and your fishing pal. And then he's going off and kill. Could you ever imagine? No, no, I had, I had. No, no, no. And there's one guy with just the balls to go. I didn't think he was doing it, but I'm not surprised to hear it. There's some guy to say that.

51:33 Drew Well, some of the neighbors were kind of saying something like that about him. This guy is a is an awful guy. They're saying there's a horrible guy. Troublemaker.

51:41 Adam Yeah, best buddy.

51:41 Drew Yeah.

51:42 Adam And all I want to do is, you know what I'm going to do is I want to find this guy, his best buddy. Let's follow him around, see who hooks up with that.

51:49 Drew I was just going to say.

51:50 Adam I'd like to check that guy out.

51:51 Drew Or what he's up to in his off time, one or the other. Hey, I'm still looking for people who are hiding sexual secrets from their partners. They want to talk about it on television and sexual fears or aversions that prevent people from having good relationships sexually.

52:04 Adam What kind of sexual secrets would you hide?

52:06 Drew I don't know. I'm with fantasies, that kind of thing, I imagine, or preferences that they're afraid to ask for. We're not looking for anything weird. We're just looking for the kind of things that people do.

52:17 Adam Marie?

52:18 Drew Hello?

52:18 Adam 25?

52:20 Caller Yeah.

52:21 Adam What's up?

52:22 Caller I haven't seen this guy now for about four months. And the other day, he was working on something, and he hit himself in the balls with a ball-peen hammer.

52:34 Drew Say that again? He what?

52:35 Caller He hit himself in the balls with a ball-peen hammer.

52:38 Drew She's so poetic, the way she says that.

52:41 Adam It is.

52:42 Drew The emphasis, though, on the balls was so interesting the first time she said it.

52:45 Adam Yeah, she's like Maya Angelou.

52:47 Drew Like she was gonna burst out in laughter.

52:49 Adam Yeah. You know what a ball-peen hammer is, Drew? Wow.

52:53 Drew Is that the one with the little knobby kind of?

52:55 Adam Yeah.

52:55 Drew Yeah.

52:56 Yeah.

52:58 Drew I'm proud of myself.

53:00 Adam What was he doing? He does metal work?

53:02 Drew Michelle, of course, knows what that is.

53:03 Caller Yeah.

53:03 Adam Oh, yeah.

53:04 Caller He works on cars.

53:04 Adam He's being sick. They got old...

53:06 Caller My dad was a carpenter.

53:07 Adam They got old Sears catalog in their head. Yeah.

53:10 Drew What's that, Marie?

53:11 Adam She wants to know if it's a 16-ounce waffle end or the smooth-end finish one with the claw, the hatchet back. Yeah. No, Michelle's like, they have the hatchet grip or just the maple grip? Michelle was telling me during the break how she'll take her ball peen hammer and she'll go ahead and hit it with a little 80-grit sandpaper, then rub some pine tar on the handle, get a good grip on it. Yeah. Yeah.

53:38 Drew Maria, how did he do this or why?

53:42 Caller I don't know why, but he hit himself with the hammer and I was wondering if that's gonna mess him up for the rest of his life or...

53:51 Drew Did he, but is this what, I'm just...

53:53 Adam I don't know about this call. Hold on. What was he working on?

53:57 Caller He's working on a car.

53:58 Drew So it wasn't like he...

54:00 Adam He was pounding out a fender and he whacked himself in the groin, he was whacking it toward him. Yeah. Is that what happened?

54:06 Caller I don't know. I wasn't there. All I know is he hit himself in the balls.

54:10 Drew Hit himself.

54:11 Adam Hisself.

54:12 Drew Hisself.

54:12 Adam In the ball sack.

54:14 Drew Hisself in the ball sack.

54:14 Adam I was like when people do that thing where it's like, I wasn't there. I know, but you don't ask your husband or wife like what happened?

54:22 Drew Here's the thing. He didn't like lay his nuts on a table and try to smash himself.

54:25 Adam No, he's fine. Did he go to the doctor?

54:28 Caller Yeah, he went to the doctor, but he really didn't tell me much about it. I guess he's embarrassed. I don't know.

54:33 Drew Yeah, he's fine. If they're not taking him to surgery doing ultrasounds, it's fine.

54:37 Adam Do you have any kids, Marie?

54:39 Caller No.

54:40 Adam No? What's the problem? You got like a golf ball wedge in your fallopian tube?

54:47 Caller No, we've been together for four months.

54:49 Adam But what about the other 100 guys?

54:52 Caller What?

54:54 Caller How dare you?

54:55 Drew How dare you?

54:56 Adam She got indignant. That was awesome. What about the other boyfriends? You've never been pregnant?

55:01 Caller No.

55:02 Adam No? Okay. That's good. Is everything worked down there?

55:05 Caller Yeah.

55:06 Drew All right. The best nut shot I ever saw was a guy who paced him out of the gut with a full, full hockey puck. A full speed right in the butt.

55:16 Adam Cracked it like an egg.

55:17 Drew Just cracked right open.

55:18 Caller Do you have any kids?

55:20 Drew What's that?

55:21 Caller Do you have any kids?

55:23 Adam Do I?

55:24 Caller Yeah.

55:24 Adam No, I don't have any kids.

55:26 Caller I'd have one for you.

55:28 Adam Could you do that?

55:29 Drew That's nice, Murray.

55:29 Adam Oh, you mean with me? Yeah. Or for you.

55:32 Drew I have you looking at it.

55:33 Adam For me. Because I'll take him. But yeah, I'll tell you what. Well, what do you look like? Let me see. You know.

55:41 Caller I have blonde hair.

55:43 Adam Blonde?

55:44 Caller I have seven.

55:46 Adam Now here's the thing. If it came from a peroxide bottle, it doesn't count from a gene standpoint. Natural blonde?

55:52 Caller It's natural.

55:54 Adam Blonde, where the in the ball peen area as well?

55:57 Caller Huh?

55:58 Adam Okay. Natural blonde, five, seven.

56:02 Caller And I weigh 140.

56:04 Adam All right. That's good stock. Obviously, a nice pedigree with education. What else? What are your hobbies?

56:13 Caller Well, I work out a lot and I like to go shopping.

56:19 Adam Shopping. That's a plus. What is your level of education?

56:26 Caller I graduated high school and I'm going to go to college but I haven't yet.

56:32 Adam All right. What way do you get in your 30s or early 40s for a trigger?

56:37 Drew Do you choose one of the cup size?

56:38 Adam Eye color, cup size, sign.

56:46 Caller I have blue eyes and my bra size is a 36C.

56:53 Adam Sign?

56:55 Caller Cancer.

56:56 Adam All right.

56:58 Drew It's all good for you, Adam.

56:59 Adam All good. I'm compatible with a cancer. I'm a Gemini with an Aquarius rising in my moon house.

57:09 Drew You're compatible with a C cup.

57:10 Adam I'm compatible with a C cup. This could work. Any habits I need to know about? Pickers syndrome, do you cut on yourself, autorotics, fixation, trick-till-a-mania, pull your hair out, or you're shooting up with a rig every night. Any diseases we need to know about? Diabetes, things like that?

57:31 Caller No, none.

57:33 Caller I love sex.

57:35 Adam You love sex. Have you traveled outside of the country in the last two years?

57:38 Drew To be fair, outside of Missouri.

57:39 Adam Outside of Missouri for the last two years?

57:42 Caller No.

57:42 Adam No. You ever been to Haiti?

57:44 Caller No.

57:45 Adam Have you been with a prostitute in the last five years?

57:48 Caller No.

57:49 Drew Transfusion?

57:50 Caller Nope.

57:51 Adam Hemophilia?

57:52 Caller Nope.

57:53 Drew Slept with an IV drug user?

57:54 Adam Slept with an IV drug user?

57:56 Caller No, I don't do no drugs.

57:57 Adam Irritable bowel syndrome?

58:00 Caller Nope.

58:00 Drew Slept with somebody who slept with somebody who slept with somebody who slept with somebody who slept with somebody with IV drug user?

58:05 Caller Nope.

58:07 Adam Are you currently on medication?

58:09 Caller No.

58:10 Adam Do you have a family have a history of a heart disease or pulmonary disease?

58:15 Caller No.

58:16 Adam Are your parents still alive? Yes. Are you a smoker?

58:21 Caller No.

58:22 Adam No. Would you, we'll get to your teeth. Do you drink, would you say, which one would you say is accurate? Drink. Never. Socially. Often. Or you put one of those funnels in your ass and dump pure grain bathtub gin into it every night.

58:41 Caller Well, I'll drink sometimes and not very often because whenever I drink, I don't remember anything and I do really wild stuff.

58:49 Drew So you got an alcoholic dad or mom, right? You have an alcoholic mom or dad.

58:54 Caller My dad was an alcoholic.

58:56 Drew Yeah.

58:56 Adam Oh, Adam.

58:57 Drew Now that's a double edged short because that's a survivor gene. That's a good gene. It's a good stock. That's why that gene's been around so long. People that survived in adversity brought that gene along. But it's that gene.

59:10 Adam Have you ever been convicted of a felony?

59:12 No. Huh?

59:17 Adam Marie, have you ever been convicted of a felony?

59:20 No, I haven't.

59:20 Adam No, you have not. Oh, okay. Our phone was cutting out. All right, sweetie. I'll tell you what. I'm going to go ahead and put your name in the hopper. And if we do choose your egg, we will be calling you within 20 to 25 working days. Okay?

59:38 Drew Now, is that to engage in their course or to just artificially inseminate, just send your sperm out there to Missouri?

59:44 Adam I'm actually going to have a model perform oral on me and then carry it in her mouth to Missouri.

59:51 Drew Okay, then how does it get inside Marie?

59:55 Adam Just a bit, you know.

59:56 Drew Okay, okay.

59:57 Adam What do you think? It's gonna be tough for her to travel that way because it's gonna be like, ma'am, are you carrying nail clippers?

1:00:06 Or is it, mm, mm?

1:00:09 Adam The airport security is gonna be tough. And then, you know, when it comes time to order, because, you know, she will be flying coach, but, you know.

1:00:16 Drew You want to buy the food there.

1:00:20 Adam You want the chicken ravioli, or do you want the Salisbury steak? Mm, mm. What does this show turn into, Drew?

1:00:34 Drew It's not been good, whatever it is.

1:00:35 Adam It's not good, whatever it turned into. John?

1:00:39 Caller Yes?

1:00:40 Adam 22? Germany or Florida?

1:00:42 Caller That's right. Hi Adam, hi Drew.

1:00:44 Adam Hey, John.

1:00:45 Caller You guys ready?

1:00:46 Adam Yeah.

1:00:47 Caller Okay, police are investigating a theater group for a stage performance that included rape, lesbian sex, and masturbation. The show also contained public urinating and a video of a woman having sex with a donkey. The piece called Triple X even encouraged two audience members to come on stage and masturbate to make the production more interactive. Is it Germany or Florida?

1:01:06 Drew It sounds Germany.

1:01:08 Adam Wow. My feeling was German the whole time too.

1:01:11 Drew It's Germany. They wouldn't have to investigate that. They would just consider that Saturday night.

1:01:15 Adam Yeah. I mean Florida.

1:01:16 Drew No, Germany.

1:01:17 Adam Well, I don't get it. He said they're investigating?

1:01:22 Drew Like there's some legal...

1:01:24 Adam Right, right. But what was your comment?

1:01:26 Drew In Germany, that's just what they do. What would they be investigating? It would just be another Saturday night.

1:01:31 Adam Right. But you said they're investigating. I know.

1:01:35 Drew So I'm saying maybe that's what goes against it being Germany.

1:01:37 Adam Oh, okay. Well, true. You got to work on your reflection.

1:01:39 Drew Yeah.

1:01:40 Adam So you're... but now... so is it Germany or not?

1:01:43 Drew I can't imagine that in Florida.

1:01:45 Adam I can't either. So it's too artistic for those idiots.

1:01:48 Drew So it goes to Germany, but why would they be investigating a routine German endeavor?

1:01:51 Adam Don't ask why. I'm going German.

1:01:53 Drew Alright, Germany.

1:01:54 Adam I felt German. I'm going German.

1:01:56 Drew I'm going to.

1:01:56 Adam John, German.

1:01:58 Caller You guys are locked in with Germany and you are correct.

1:02:00 Adam Yeah. Thank you. Thank you, John. God bless you.

1:02:04 Caller One little detail is that was a Spanish theater group. I thought it might be a little bit misleading. I thought if it was a Spanish theater group, it might make it too obvious.

1:02:11 Drew In those Spanish, we would have thought, Puerto, you know.

1:02:14 Caller Florida.

1:02:15 Drew Cuban or Puerto Rican.

1:02:16 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

1:02:17 Drew We would have gone Florida.

1:02:18 Adam Yeah. Alright, John. God love you.

1:02:20 Caller Oh, Adam, can I tell you one more thing you might find interesting? Yeah. Last night you were talking about the Robert Blake Trial and your vision of a lie detector.

1:02:29 Drew Oh.

1:02:29 Caller Magic lie detector. Yeah. There's actually a process called brain fingerprinting that's kind of an experimental phase that you might be interested in looking up. You can have someone in here, a producer, look that up.

1:02:39 Drew That's what tells them.

1:02:41 Caller I'm sorry, go ahead.

1:02:42 Drew Tells whether somebody's lying or not?

1:02:44 Caller Yeah. I guess basically what they can do is they can show you an image and there's like an automatic firing of your brain waves that registers familiarity. So they get like to see crime scene photos and if you had used it in there and recognized them.

1:02:55 Adam Very interesting.

1:02:57 Drew Very interesting.

1:02:58 Adam See?

1:02:58 Drew See?

1:02:58 Caller It's not like an emotional thing. It's just like an automatic response that you have.

1:03:02 Drew It's called mirror neurons. Yeah.

1:03:05 Caller Something like that.

1:03:06 Adam Well, thank you, John.

1:03:08 Drew Yeah.

1:03:08 Adam Here's the thing when I was talking about my lie detector that is so advanced that it puts the criminal court system completely, renders it completely obsolete. Think about the money, you know, the stenographers, the judges, the court appointed police, the bailiffs, the all. Think about everything. Think about all of it. Think about the whole rigmarole. And like I said, everyone is sort of operates. We are snobs in this country because other countries, you know, we basically compete against the countries, Middle Eastern countries, and we're sort of like, oh, over there, if a woman looks at another man, her husband can kill her with a stone and no one will convict her. We're so much better. Yeah, we're better than those cavemen. That's not comparing yourself, by the way. That's not much. Those are compare yourself to a cockroach, you know? Yeah, our system is better than theirs. Still, so far, it seems to me that if you're a rich guy, and you got enough money, you're going to get off, no matter how overwhelming the evidence seems to be. And whenever you see one of these 2020 programs, they go to the joint, they start investigating these cases, it seems to be just chock full of wrongdoings and slip ups and sometimes intentional, sometimes not. Seems like you got about a 50-50 chance, as far as the system we have in place. Let's get rid of it and get my lie detector in there.

1:04:39 Drew One of the jocks here in Los Angeles at K-Rock, Doug the Slug, has taken lie detectors and passed it when he was lying.

1:04:47 Adam Oh, really? Yeah.

1:04:48 Drew It's not that good of a science just yet.

1:04:50 Adam Well, also, first off, the one he took was probably some archaic thing from the 50s. It was pulled out of some submarine that was dry docked somewhere.

1:05:01 Drew Some Hasbro whole unit?

1:05:03 Adam Yeah. I get the feeling. I mean, this polygraph thing has been around for 50 years. I think there are newer generations and versions of it that are good. I'm saying we combine this with the functional MRI or all the brain mapping and fingerprinting, all the things we now know about the mind and the brain. And I'm not saying we have this apparatus yet. I'm saying we have the pieces of the puzzle. We focus on it like we do with anything. We have the computers, we have the componentry, we have the circuitry. Now let's focus on making it work. We arrive on something that puts the world scientist together. We arrive on something that works and that becomes the new standard.

1:05:45 Hey Drew, could that mean Doug the Slug is a sociopath? Maybe?

1:05:50 Drew It could be.

1:05:52 Adam It doesn't really work on, nothing works on jocks. They're all nuts.

1:05:56 I bet Corolla could pass them.

1:05:58 Adam No.

1:05:59 Oh, your heart doesn't move.

1:06:01 Adam No, how dare you? Who is this? Who's that talking?

1:06:05 We should bring in a lie detector test.

1:06:07 Adam Yeah, please. Please do. I would not pass. I don't I don't think I'm wired much different than anybody else.

1:06:15 Caller Mike, hello.

1:06:17 Adam You're 16.

1:06:18 Caller Yeah.

1:06:18 Happy St. Patrick's Day. I got a question about when I was a little kid, my cousin Carl, he molested me, I guess. I don't really have any recollection of it. I just what I can remember is like like going to therapy. And I was what I was wondering is would that like affect me now? Like dealing with women and stuff?

1:06:39 Drew Focus.

1:06:40 Adam Yeah. Nobody buys.

1:06:41 Drew Sorry, Mike.

1:06:42 Adam Sorry, Mike.

1:06:42 Caller All right. That's fine.

1:06:43 Adam I guess. Nice try.

1:06:45 Caller All right.

1:06:46 Drew You know why we know it's bogus?

1:06:48 Caller Why is that?

1:06:49 Adam Well, you work your friend. You work the name and you work the perps name in.

1:06:54 Drew And then there's no question.

1:06:56 Adam And then there's no question.

1:06:57 Caller Well, get into my question, actually.

1:06:59 Drew Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

1:07:01 Adam All right.

1:07:02 Caller Are you sure I can't finish her?

1:07:05 Adam Hold on. Let me let me convene with Drew for a second. Feels bogus. He asked.

1:07:11 Drew He said he asked the question, is it going to affect my relationship with girls or what? He stopped. Now he says, oh, I didn't get much of my question.

1:07:19 Adam But he did say something that was interesting, which is he doesn't remember the molestation, but he does remember the therapy, which is an interesting specific thing that would not normally be in just a bogus call.

1:07:32 Drew You're right. Yet he names the perpetrator and the age and everything else.

1:07:37 Adam It happens.

1:07:38 Drew But I don't remember it.

1:07:39 Adam This is why we need my lie detector. Yeah. Scott.

1:07:44 Drew Wait.

1:07:45 Adam I got it right. Let's see.

1:07:47 Drew Mike.

1:07:47 Adam Mike. Yeah. Mike. I would like to believe you.

1:07:50 Drew So finish your question.

1:07:53 Adam We promised we will answer your question. But now tell us truthfully, bogus or not?

1:07:57 Caller No, it is not bogus. This really did happen to me.

1:08:00 Caller All right.

1:08:02 Caller Well, what I was just wondering is, I have a tendency when I'm like with a girl or something, I can like get into the act. And then when it comes down to almost getting to like a sexual thing, I tend to like back out or get scared and not really be able to finish up, I guess.

1:08:17 Drew And so you were sexually abused by a young male?

1:08:20 Caller Yeah.

1:08:21 Drew Was it a child?

1:08:22 Caller Yeah.

1:08:22 Caller When I was a child, he was a little older than me.

1:08:27 Drew How old was he?

1:08:28 Caller He was 12, I believe.

1:08:30 Drew And what did he do to you?

1:08:31 Caller I guess he just busted my junk out and messed with it, I guess.

1:08:38 I don't know.

1:08:39 Adam All right. You should be able to recover from that.

1:08:43 Caller All right.

1:08:43 Adam Especially since you got some therapy.

1:08:45 Caller Yeah.

1:08:46 Adam Which also means you grow up in a family that sort of was concerned and proactive and that kind of thing. All right. All right.

1:08:54 Drew So 16.

1:08:55 Adam 16. Don't get all up in your head. Don't get all anxious.

1:09:00 Drew Find a relationship.

1:09:01 Adam Find a relationship. Work it out. Don't be in a rush. Get into a steady thing with a girl and just sort of find your way.

1:09:09 Drew You should be having sex with anybody at 16. If you get so attached, it will be a disaster.

1:09:13 Adam And that's you, Mike. There are other guys who can handle it.

1:09:16 Drew Yeah. No. Very few. 17 is different than 16.

1:09:21 Adam I'm thinking of the brothers.

1:09:23 Drew Oh.

1:09:23 Caller You know what I mean?

1:09:24 Adam They can handle it. White man not ready at 16. Brother man ready at 12.

1:09:29 Drew Take a break.

1:09:30 Adam I want to say hi to Scott. Scott?

1:09:34 Caller Hey guys.

1:09:35 Adam Hey, what's up?

1:09:36 Caller Hey, how much?

1:09:37 Adam You're 20.

1:09:39 Caller Yeah, I just have a question for you. I'd like to get your opinions. Dr. Drew, since you are a doctor, and Adam, since you are the voice of reason, I would like to get your opinions on the Terry Shybo case.

1:09:51 Drew That's the woman that wants, they want to take her tube feeding out?

1:09:55 Caller Correct.

1:09:56 Drew Yeah.

1:09:58 Adam Well, first off, she's not going to make that volleyball team if you pull the thing off. I mean, that's the way I look at it. Trials are coming up this weekend.

1:10:06 Drew We don't know the case directly. I hear bits and pieces on the news, so it's very hard to render judgment about a specific case. But in general, the way we deal with death and dying in this country is just awful.

1:10:22 Adam I agree.

1:10:23 Drew People, the process of dying has become a drawn out, painful, miserable, I mean, just torturous process. And people specify what they want, and then the people in their life who don't want to experience the pain of the loss themselves, draw it out to the point where it becomes just cruel.

1:10:44 Adam And not only that, but they don't want to experience the concept of death. I mean, as human beings, we all have this incredible responsibility emotionally, which is, we're the only things on the planet, as far as I know, who know we're gonna die. That is the worst joke you can play on a creature. You know, my dog runs around, it's tail's wagging, it's banging, and it's knocking furniture over. It's so goddamn happy. I'd love to be able to get through to that dog and tell him, not only are you gonna die, but one of my years is 70 years. And here's the thing, I swear to Christ, if I could convince my lab that, look, baby doll, you're two. You're pure brats, you ain't going as long as the mutts. You're grotesquely overweight. You're gonna make it, you have another five and a half, six years, and then you're going in the ground. And if we don't just bury in the backyard, you go to the funeral home. The dog would not walk around flapping its tail all the time. The dog would have days that were tough. That's a tough thing to do. So I feel like we want to hang on to other people because it reminds us of our own mortality.

1:12:02 Drew Of course. It's all back to us always. But here's the thing. Dying is a process that we can make dignified and painless and comfortable. And we won't do that.

1:12:13 Adam Well, we do it for Scott Peterson.

1:12:14 Drew We make the whole process, we make it all about not dying. Everything's about not dying. Every second that we can not die, rather than being realistic about what the probabilities are and making the process dignified and comfortable. Yeah.

1:12:27 Adam And also whenever anyone talks about living and they're eulogizing somebody, they're always talking about, oh, this guy trips to Europe and lavish parties and he loved to dance. They never talk about eating through a tube and having a pump clear your bowels every nine hours. They don't talk about that. That's not living.

1:12:54 Drew And by the way, it goes all the way into our crazy conceptions about aging. Every time you pick up a time magazine, it's like, you can live to 100. Every time, if you've ever thought of, go to nursing home and look at 95-year-old men sometime.

1:13:06 Adam Right.

1:13:06 Drew They are ratchet. You don't want to be a male and be 95. It's just a horrible existence 90% of the time if you make it that far.

1:13:14 Adam Yeah, yeah. So the point is we're all going to die, some sooner than others. We, the living, pretend like no one's ever going to die because we're freaked out by it. So we got to keep the broad hooked up to the feeding tube for the rest of our life.

1:13:31 Drew And also the lack of acceptance of what disease is. Who knows what she's experiencing? Maybe she's locked in there. No, no, we do know. We do.

1:13:38 Adam Look, whatever she's experiencing, it's time for a change. I just feel like there shouldn't be such a crazy taboo surrounding it. If you've deemed your life not worth living, and obviously it's not because you don't have function anymore, and I'm not saying everyone who's in a wheelchair needs to go, hell, if you can think, if you can create, if you can communicate, but if you're essentially an avocado with a toothpick in it sitting in a mason jar in a window cell, it's time to go. I'm fine with that. It happens all the time. And I just, you know, this idea. And then the slippery slope a-holes enter the picture. And well, sure, it starts with the person that is brain dead and needs a machine to exist. And then eventually you start getting into mentally ill people. And then you just decide you don't like your children. You shut up, you a-holes. You think that's ever going to happen? Never happens. And furthermore, they get into this like, who are you to play God? Who am I to play God?

1:14:52 Drew Keeping them alive is playing God.

1:14:53 Adam You got them running off a 110 generator to stay alive. I'm playing God. You unplug them, they die. Unplugging people isn't playing God. Plugging them in is playing God. How about we do this? How about when your buddy dies, I just go ahead and get an elaborate pulley system, and I hook them up with ropes and stuff, and we animate them. And I fill them full of formaldehyde, and they can dance in your living room every night. When that, well, you would be appalled if I said that. That's what happened. This person died. We quickly intervened and plugged them into something, and now they're just a vegetable. Of course. I'm playing God by unplugging them. There's a power outage. The person dies. That's, yeah, yeah, playing God. Please, people make me sick. I hate all you, all you, all you crazy slippery slope lifer sanctimonious prick blowharts. Just shut up, would you?

1:15:53 Drew Lifer sanctimonious prick blowharts?

1:15:56 Adam Lifer, a right to lifer. Yeah, just shut up. No one cares about your stupid, retarded religious beliefs. Just obviously you're scared and freaked out. So just keep it to yourself, would you please? Stop thumping the Bible and talking about slippery slope.

1:16:10 Drew Lift SP.

1:16:11 Adam All right, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:16:15 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1. With Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:16:21 Caller We'll be right back.

1:16:31 Adam Yeah, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. You should be able to kill yourself if you can prove that you're sane. Just like the... Hold on.

1:16:44 Caller Oh my goodness. Yeah.

1:16:48 Drew Oh no. We have not had this in a long time.

1:16:52 Caller Uh-oh.

1:16:54 Adam Uh-oh.

1:16:55 Drew Michelle just dove under the console.

1:16:57 Adam She's lighting a match.

1:16:58 Drew Oh, that's good.

1:16:59 Adam Look out. Yeah. And she put it out quickly. That's a pro. That's a pro. See, most people just burn the match. They don't realize putting it out does... Wow, the head will pop.

1:17:08 Drew Bring it over here, please, Michelle.

1:17:09 Adam Can't wait till I get home.

1:17:10 Drew Now, why don't you light it?

1:17:12 Adam Yeah. Here's the thing. If you can... I'm wearing sweatpants. I got to do it in denim. Okay.

1:17:16 Caller Thank you.

1:17:17 Adam If you can prove you're sane enough to get your junk chopped off and get a sex change, why can't you just prove you're sane and you're tired of living?

1:17:26 Caller Yeah.

1:17:27 Adam There's that. That's heavy. That's heavy, man.

1:17:30 Caller April?

1:17:31 Caller Yes.

1:17:32 Adam 24?

1:17:33 Caller Yes.

1:17:34 Adam So, speaking of death, your best friend died?

1:17:38 Caller On the 3rd of February, yeah.

1:17:41 Drew What happened?

1:17:41 Caller She was diagnosed with cancer in October and died within three and a half months.

1:17:47 Drew What kind of cancer?

1:17:49 Caller Well, they thought it was ovarian, but it just took over her entire body and they decided it was just some like protein, like...

1:17:59 Adam How old was she?

1:18:00 Caller She just turned 25 in December.

1:18:03 Adam Wow.

1:18:03 Drew Wait, it wasn't ovarian cancer?

1:18:06 Caller No, it just started there, but it moved to her liver and her lymph nodes and...

1:18:12 Drew But that's what ovary does. That's ovarian cancer.

1:18:15 Adam We'll call it ovarian cancer.

1:18:17 Caller But she had like five different strands of cancer, so they couldn't actually say that it was specifically the ovarian.

1:18:26 Adam All right. Well, anyway.

1:18:27 Caller It's actually a very rare case. It was crazy.

1:18:30 Adam Yeah. Well, it's awful. Lord works in mysterious ways. Yeah. So that's horrible. Now what?

1:18:39 Caller Well, she was engaged to be married March, actually, and obviously it didn't happen. And I'm very close with her fiance. We were pretty much a trio. And he has been, you know, kind of not talking to anybody else, but only calling me and returning my calls. And I mean, she had so many friends and everybody has been really supportive, but he's kind of only just coming to me. And he's been staying with me a lot. And I don't know, I feel like something might be going on. And I don't know if it's necessarily he has feelings for me, but I feel like I want to be able to help him deal with this healthy, like in a healthy way.

1:19:28 Adam Well, BJ always cut the tension, you know, when you're grieving.

1:19:32 Caller He's like grabbed my breast and I sleep the other night. He's been like staying the night with me.

1:19:37 Adam Yeah, he's been sleeping and saying bad.

1:19:40 Caller Well, yeah, we're good friends.

1:19:42 Drew No, no, April, no, no, no, no, no. Are you kidding? Are you kidding? Well, first of all, don't ever do this again with somebody you think is not going to attack you and try to have sex with you, a male. I don't care if it's your dad. Seriously, that is ridiculous.

1:19:55 Adam Take it from the Michelin man of passion.

1:19:59 Drew That is a silly thing to be doing, but this guy, you know, this guy, we got to cut him some slack and realize that that's how men experience closeness, is through sex. And if he's really hurting and looking for relief, I'm...

1:20:10 Caller Well, I mean, I'm hurting as well. Like, she was my best friend.

1:20:14 Adam I know, but hold on a second. The guy is sleeping... Quiet down. The guy is sleeping in your bed. She died how long ago? Three months?

1:20:25 Caller No, just a month and a half.

1:20:28 Adam Six weeks ago.

1:20:30 Caller OK.

1:20:31 Adam All right. He's sleeping in your bed. There's something going on. It may be unspoken. It's going on, but on both sides. I mean, you and him.

1:20:42 Caller Well, I can tell you I'm not interested.

1:20:46 Adam You're not.

1:20:46 Drew Well, then stop having him in your bed.

1:20:48 Adam How about he doesn't... How about no more slumber parties?

1:20:50 Caller I told her that I would, you know, take care of him.

1:20:54 Drew And then that's not taking care of him.

1:20:55 Caller I don't want to be alone.

1:20:56 Drew No, no, no, no, no, no. That's not taking care of him.

1:21:00 Adam No, he's sleeping in your bed.

1:21:03 Caller But nothing is happening. I swear.

1:21:06 Drew Yeah, it's starting to, though.

1:21:07 Adam And it's why you're calling, though. I mean, obviously it's going down that road.

1:21:12 Caller Because I want to know, like, how I can, like, go about the situation. Like, it's getting to the point where he's like, you know, gets mad if I can't, like, hang out with him. And I just, like, need to.

1:21:23 Adam Okay. Well, let me, you know, Yeah, yeah. Here's, here's, okay, we'll tell you what to do. But are you attractive?

1:21:31 I think so.

1:21:34 Drew Here's the deal, April. You have no idea how to set boundaries with people. You don't, you have no boundaries yourself.

1:21:40 Caller I don't, you're right.

1:21:41 Drew All right.

1:21:41 Adam Now we don't, we don't, you know, we don't want to kick a gal when she's down. But this is, you know, probably good advice. It could save you from, you know, potentially dangerous situations in the future.

1:21:53 Drew Exactly.

1:21:54 Adam You have to start steering this thing away from your futon if you're, if you have no feelings for this guy.

1:22:01 Drew And you have a right to not take care of him all the time. You have a right to your own private time. You have a right to maintain the integrity of your bed without having a guy that you don't really, or are attracted to sharing it with you.

1:22:15 Adam Are you sure you're not attracted to him at all?

1:22:17 Caller I'm positive. But I mean, remember, like, the circumstance, like, my friend just died and it's...

1:22:22 Drew Yes, I get that...

1:22:24 Caller .adjustments are so hard.

1:22:25 Adam I know, but why...

1:22:26 Drew Yeah, but he's...

1:22:26 Adam I know, but...

1:22:27 Drew Stop it. Stop.

1:22:28 Adam Stop working that. Yeah, yeah, your friend...

1:22:30 Caller Yeah.

1:22:32 Adam I had a friend that just died of ovarian cancer. I'm not sleeping with her friends, you know? I mean, this happens to a lot of people. You don't just jump in bed with the fiancé.

1:22:44 Drew And, by the way, the way you support people is not by taking on their feelings. It's about being present and just showing them that you appreciate what they're feeling. You're not responsible 24-7. I mean, do you have an eating disorder or something?

1:22:58 Caller No.

1:22:59 Drew April?

1:23:00 Caller No, I don't.

1:23:01 Drew Did you ever have anything like that?

1:23:03 Caller Excuse me?

1:23:03 Drew Did you ever have any problems like that?

1:23:06 Caller No, I'm a chef.

1:23:08 Adam Aha.

1:23:08 Drew Interesting.

1:23:09 Adam All right. Here's the thing, April. If you don't have feelings for him that way, do not, you're leading him on by letting him climb into your bed. There's plenty of time to grieve when you guys are out of bed. And what do you do?

1:23:24 Drew Away from your apartment. You go visit him in a structured way, on a regular basis.

1:23:28 Adam You're a chef, meet him in an olive garden. A delightful olive garden. Now, here's the other thing too. Everybody, here's how you work. Believe me, I made a career out of manipulating people. You have somebody and everyone calls the show every night. It's like, what do I do? What do I do? What do I do? And it's like, well, stop it. But he keeps calling or he keeps wanting to come on. Here's how it works. The person calls. Normally you call back within half an hour. Or you pick up or whatever. Give it a day. Call them back 24 hours later.

1:24:02 Drew If you pick up, go, oh, I've got to go. I'm sorry.

1:24:04 Adam Yeah, let me get back with you.

1:24:05 Drew You have a right to not be always there.

1:24:08 Adam You can start training the person. Before you know it, they call. You get back with them in a few days. Okay. Then when they want to get together, you say, yeah, it's great. Why don't we catch a movie? I'll meet you at the theater at eight o'clock.

1:24:22 Drew I know April feels like she wants to be constantly supervising this guy. But the fact is, yes, you are doing your friend's work on her behalf. She asked you to watch over and take care of him. Believe me, she did not mean that you were with him 24-7, sleeping in the bed together.

1:24:37 Adam Carl in the bed grabbed a boo by the way.

1:24:39 Drew I know, that's not what she meant. She means to just kind of keep an eye out for him.

1:24:44 Adam I don't, you know, far be it for me to question the grieving. But I wonder about the guy a little bit. I wouldn't be sleeping over if I was him.

1:24:57 Drew No, no. But I could see a guy if they're in that situation, they just want to be physical and stuff.

1:25:01 Adam Oh, Drew is a man of passion. Supreme, look, you could fall asleep with just a rotting bison corpse, just a rotting carcass of a water buffalo in a futon, and you would cop a feel. There's no doubt. Your point? No point. Probably be in it by first light. But my point is, yeah, guys going to cop a feel. I question the guy who says about a climb under the covers with you.

1:25:40 Drew Yeah, the guy that gets in with that is a business man.

1:25:44 Adam I'm going to take a little break and talk to you when we come back.

1:25:46 Drew See what we get.

1:25:47 Adam Ashley, Tiffany, dating cousins, 28-year-old foster dad. Tiffany?

1:25:55 Yeah.

1:25:56 Adam You have a friend slash roommate who wants to know if you're getting married to them?

1:26:00 Okay. This is the whole story.

1:26:03 Drew Okay. Hold on. Hold on.

1:26:05 Adam We're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back with Tiffany and the whole story after this.

1:26:10 Caller 2800, Love 191, Loveline, Loveline, with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:26:16 Caller We'll be right back.

1:26:29 Adam Yeah, buddy, Loveline, man, that's Dr. Drew. Let's rock and roll with some phone calls here.

1:26:36 Drew I'm still trying to get people with sexual secrets and fears and aversions.

1:26:39 Adam I'm still trying to work up another fart. Tiffany?

1:26:42 Yeah.

1:26:43 Adam 19.

1:26:44 Yeah. Okay, my friend, he lives in California right now, and he's getting ready to graduate high school. He's 18, and he was going to come out here and go to college, but the college he wanted to go to, he said that he just changed his mind, he doesn't want to go there, but he wants to come move out here and live with me. And, you know, he knows us just as friends, and I've talked to him about it, but then, like lately, he's been saying stuff like, oh, will you marry me? Like, and then he'll start laughing when I'm like, what? And then he'll be like, do you see yourself marrying me? I'm like, no. He just, and I'm-

1:27:17 Adam Why don't, you don't like him that way?

1:27:20 Not really, no.

1:27:21 Adam Why not? They say not really, but maybe?

1:27:24 Yes, like sometimes I kind of like him, but then sometimes I want to shoot him cause he's so annoying.

1:27:30 Drew I don't understand the question.

1:27:31 Adam Are you, are you good looking?

1:27:33 Well, yeah, kind of.

1:27:35 Adam Is he good looking?

1:27:37 Drew Funky.

1:27:38 A little chunky.

1:27:39 Drew Chunky.

1:27:39 Adam Chunky? Is, is he, is he good looking?

1:27:45 Well, kind of. He kind of looks like my half sister's dad and uncle put together.

1:27:50 Adam Oh, hold on. That must be very appealing. Yep, clear as day. Clear as day. Clear as day. Clear as day.

1:27:57 Drew Half sister's dad and uncle.

1:27:59 Adam Hold on. Clear as day. Oh yeah. I've seen this cat. Yeah. Oh yeah. I've probably seen him before. Yeah, many like him. All right, there, so, here's what I'm getting. Or here's, here's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking that Tiffany could have some interest in this guy, but he's a little bit of a heartbreaker. This guy's a little bit of a screws around, toys around a little bit. Is that right? Have you been burned by him before?

1:28:28 Caller No, he's, because I used to date this one guy, and that's how I met him. He was one of his friends and I moved out to Colorado and past couple months since like October. We've been talking on the phone and.

1:28:42 Adam Yeah, you've never never kissed him or anything.

1:28:44 Drew No, that's what he's aiming for. He just, the marriage thing is just his way of getting physical.

1:28:48 Adam Yeah, he's screwing around, but he's interested. But you sound like you could be interested in him, but you're sort of protecting yourself a little bit. Is that true?

1:28:58 Caller Maybe. I kind of have, I realize I have a little bit of fear of commitment, I think.

1:29:05 Adam Yeah, I know, but you sound almost flattered that he's making these overtures. That's where the chunky part comes in.

1:29:13 Caller No, sometimes like I like him, but then just sometimes I don't want him to come here or I want him to come here, but I don't know if it's a good idea if we live together.

1:29:22 Adam No, I don't think so either, because here's my prediction. My prediction is, and here's what I think your fear is. I think he comes out there, I think you guys shack up, I think over a couple of beers a couple of weekends into the shacking up, something happens, there's a physical part that happens, that goes on for a little while with a sort of casual understanding of friends with benefits, and then one night he brings home another chick and you freak out.

1:29:48 Drew There you go.

1:29:50 Caller Yeah, actually, it's probably...

1:29:52 Adam All right, so don't do it. Look, if your gut, your sizable gut tells you... No, she said she was chunky. Chunky. I'm not joking. If your gut tells you that this is not a good situation, fine. On the other hand, stop running away from relationships. You're 19, you're freaked out about intimacy.

1:30:11 Drew Yeah, you're very anxious about things, very sort of spun about everything.

1:30:15 Adam Yeah, here's the thing. People really can't do anything to you that you don't do to yourself.

1:30:21 Caller That's true.

1:30:22 Adam I mean, they can love you and they can leave you, and that can either be devastating or you can move on, depending on what your mental health is.

1:30:32 Drew True.

1:30:33 Adam Thank you, Drew. Ashley?

1:30:39 Caller Yes.

1:30:40 Adam 17?

1:30:41 Caller Yes.

1:30:41 Adam What's up?

1:30:42 Caller Okay, here's the deal. I have a cousin and he's the same age as me, and when we were younger, he got put into foster care. He got in trouble and got put into foster care. Well, we went a few years out seeing each other, and then when I was 15, we finally saw each other again after a long time, and his foster dad was only 26. And we kind of got together, and now, I guess I can say that we were together, and so now I'm 17. We've been together for like two years, and I don't know if that's wrong.

1:31:15 Drew People are just not going to find out. He was 26 and you were 15? Yes, that's wrong.

1:31:19 Adam Well, he's in the foster care.

1:31:21 Caller But there wasn't anything like, like, I mean, I don't like it was anything. Like, we weren't having sex or anything.

1:31:28 Drew No oral sex?

1:31:30 Caller Yeah, no, there was no sex when I was 15, and I'm 17, we've only had sex twice. And it's not even because of me, it's because of him. He doesn't, he thinks he thinks it's disrespectful.

1:31:40 Drew Disrespectful.

1:31:41 Adam So he only did it twice?

1:31:42 Caller Yeah, we've only had sex twice.

1:31:44 Adam Okay.

1:31:45 Drew Disrespectful.

1:31:46 Adam I see an old-fashioned guy.

1:31:48 Caller Yeah, I see.

1:31:50 Drew Yeah, that's BS. Disrespectful, I could not think of a farther word from what that is, but.

1:31:54 Adam Well, no, the sex would be disrespectful, so he only did it a couple of times. You know how it is, it's like, it would be wrong for you to have sex with, like, one of your kid's teachers or something, so you just do it a couple of times. It would be wrong for you to have sex with one of your wife's friends.

1:32:11 Drew He didn't say it was wrong for the kid. It would be disrespectful.

1:32:13 Adam It would be disrespectful for you to have sex with, like, your kid's tutor.

1:32:18 Drew And he says, foster, oh, this guy's got to go.

1:32:20 Adam But Drew, that's why he only did it twice.

1:32:23 Drew Oh my God.

1:32:25 Adam You see what I'm saying?

1:32:25 Drew Yeah.

1:32:26 Adam He does not want to be disrespectful.

1:32:28 Caller Drew, I really respect your opinion. I really do.

1:32:30 Caller That's why I called.

1:32:31 Drew I have grave concerns about this guy, grave, grave, grave. He's an adult. He's an adult. He's with a child. He's been having sex with you. He started when you were 15.

1:32:43 Adam Well, no, they started hanging out.

1:32:45 Caller Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

1:32:46 Caller We didn't have sex until I was 17. Calm down.

1:32:49 Adam What were you doing at 15? Just hanging out?

1:32:51 Caller At 15, I told him, like, I didn't, I've always looked older than I am. And for a long time, I kind of used that to my advantage.

1:32:59 Adam All right. Yeah, yeah. I mean, if you had long hair or something, that's totally different.

1:33:03 Caller No, no, no, no. Like, I look.

1:33:04 Adam Totally different situation here.

1:33:05 Caller I looked quite a bit older than I was.

1:33:07 Drew Yeah, it doesn't matter.

1:33:08 Adam Yeah.

1:33:09 Drew Doesn't get people up to them. Do you think that would go down in the court of law?

1:33:13 Caller No.

1:33:13 Adam Well, he knew you were 15.

1:33:15 Drew The deal is, it's to protect you. The fact that he considers a respect issue shows how profoundly distorted he is in these issues.

1:33:23 Adam Were you kissing at 15?

1:33:26 Caller Not, not really. I mean, like.

1:33:28 Adam Oh, really?

1:33:29 Drew Oh my God.

1:33:30 Caller This guy's an idiot.

1:33:31 Drew It's not about respect. It's harmful to the young person.

1:33:35 Adam All right, look. Ashley, here's the thing. You look older than 17. You act younger than 13. So I'm done talking to you. Go do whatever you want with this idiot. Realize he's a criminal and realize one day, you will realize, we were right. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:34:14 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:34:37 Adam Well, that's the show, that's the week, y'all. It is, isn't it?

1:34:41 Drew Big week next week, too.

1:34:42 Adam Yeah, a lot of good guests in here. God bless all you for listening, even though I don't believe in him. I want to thank Engineer Anderson, the Magic-Fingered One, for doing a great job all week. I want to thank Engineer Chris, the Magic-Fingered One as well, for doing a great job. Michelle Bratha, fresh Mexican air balloon right into the studio every other week, as far as I can tell. I should say, Producer Anne, fantastic. So until next time, Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, mahalo.

1:35:41 Caller He hit himself in the balls with a ball peen hammer.

1:35:47 Caller The opinions expressed in the show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Anne Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, March 17, 2005