Episode 1000700523502

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

1:01 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:04 Voiceover Sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

1:14 Voiceover This is Loveline.

1:18 Voiceover With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. Hey, buddy, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist. And it's my pleasure to welcome back to the show, Kelly Hu.

1:33 Kelly Hu Hello.

1:34 Adam Kelly is, Kelly has herself a little reoccurring role on CSI New York, Wednesday nights, 10 o'clock on CBS. Kelly is also a very interesting person. She was Miss Teen Hawaii, as well as Miss Hawaii.

1:50 Drew Miss Teen USA.

1:51 Kelly Hu I was Miss Teen USA and Miss Hawaii USA.

1:54 Adam All right.

1:55 Kelly Hu Yeah. Didn't quite make it all the way in the big girl.

1:57 Adam Hawaii and Black Belt. I like that.

2:01 Drew Miss USA is the one that Trump owns now.

2:03 Kelly Hu Yes. It's the one where you don't actually have to have a talent.

2:06 Drew You don't say anything. You have to answer one question.

2:07 Kelly Hu No, you do have to answer questions. Yeah. Which is kind of hard on the spot with 50 million people watching you.

2:13 Adam Yeah. I'd freak out and drop the N word. I'd just get spazzy and the question wouldn't even have anything to do with the race. Name your favorite dish and the N word would just come out. I would spaz out and definitely go into a Tourette's like trance. So obviously, so how does it work? You do the Miss, you're living in Hawaii. You're how old? 15, 16?

2:39 Kelly Hu When I was Miss Teen? Yeah. 16.

2:42 Adam And are you traveling? Are you going to Nevada? Are you going to? No, I mean, where do you go?

2:48 Kelly Hu When you're Miss Teen USA?

2:50 Adam Well, where's the actual, where was the actual event?

2:53 Kelly Hu The event was in Miami, Florida.

2:55 Adam Was in Miami.

2:56 Kelly Hu Yeah, it was actually a pretty good place that year. It was in like January or something and it was freezing cold.

3:02 Adam And you have to beat out everyone else on the island before you get to go?

3:06 Kelly Hu Yeah, but there's not that many people on the island. I think I only had to run against like nine girls.

3:10 Oh, really?

3:11 Adam You know, there's just two cows. There's this weird thing. Oh, poor, ugly girls. There's, yeah, I know what you're saying. There's this there's this thing in life. I'm putting it together with the class president, which Drew was one, which is it sounds impressive. It's like Homecoming King, too. I had a buddy was a homecoming king. Wasn't even popular. And he's like, someone puts your name on the ballot. And then you just get a choice. Because what happens is, is the popular people and the beautiful people and the captain of the football team, they don't run for homecoming queen or queen. Oftentimes, people nominate other people, and sometimes they do it as a goof. And once in a while, one of the goofs makes it through the cracks.

3:54 Kelly Hu Like Carrie.

3:55 Adam And then you get Carrie. Then you get the pig's blood.

3:58 Kelly Hu Exactly.

3:58 Adam And then she uses her telepathy to torture the world. Now, Drew earned his spot as class president. I'm not taking anything away from him. But I am saying that it's not like the whole school is running for class president and you have to beat out 2000 kids.

4:13 Kelly Hu OK, but I want to know something. As class president, what do you actually do?

4:19 Drew Yeah, Drew, I was actually a student body president.

4:22 Adam Oh, really?

4:22 Drew Yeah.

4:23 Kelly Hu So what is the difference?

4:24 Drew Yeah, what's the difference? You sort of ran the whole thing. I mean, you ran. No, anything that had to do with the student's relationship with the administration.

4:33 Adam Would you have class president, too?

4:34 Drew Then there are classes that you'd meet with and they'd give you their complaints and things that they wanted to do in terms of.

4:39 Kelly Hu Like, let's have more parties.

4:41 Drew No, there was more things like in art school, fighting about dress codes and, you know, scheduling and homework burdens and that kind of stuff. Yeah.

4:50 Kelly Hu So as a class president, could you actually get it so people could get less homework?

4:55 Drew No, but you thought you were. You could feel like you were doing something.

4:57 Adam So it's just a body president.

4:59 You're a puppet.

5:00 Adam Yeah. It's a banana republic and you're just you're just a stooge.

5:05 Drew Well, of course. It's a sense that they have a voice, but the reality is...

5:09 Kelly Hu And it actually makes like a good mark on your record when you want to get into college, right?

5:14 Adam Oh, that's why Drew did it.

5:15 Kelly Hu But you don't actually accomplish anything as a president.

5:18 Oh, boy.

5:20 Adam This is tough.

5:21 Drew No, I don't...

5:22 Adam Kelly's tough.

5:22 Drew No, Kelly's good.

5:23 Adam No, she's tough.

5:25 Drew No, no, no. We have weekly meetings and I would take stuff from the student body I presented to the administration and had a regular meeting with the administration about how things were running on the campus and whether there were disciplinary problems. We had a new... We needed a new headmaster. I was on the committee to find the new headmaster.

5:40 Adam Oh, wow. I read that last weekend.

5:42 Wow.

5:44 Kelly Hu Oh, so you went to like one of those really big prep schools and you had a headmaster.

5:47 Drew Right, right, right.

5:48 Adam Let me explain the title of the school. The Lord Fauntleroy School for albino hemophiliacs was awesome. It was awesome. It had a seven and a half man football team. But true, student body president and class president, see, in public school, I think means the same thing.

6:07 Drew No, no, because the student body president runs the structure which the class president...

6:11 Adam I'm talking about like at North Hollywood High.

6:13 Drew There was always a student body president.

6:14 Adam Well, the student body president, we also called the class. It was the same guy. We didn't have two different roles.

6:20 Drew Maybe the senior class president was also a student body president.

6:22 Adam We would call him president of the class or president of the school or student body president.

6:27 Drew Each year, you'd elect a president of your class. As you get to be a senior, maybe your class president got to be the student body president.

6:33 Adam Yeah, I think we just had a class. Then there was always that idiot who ran for treasurer and stuff. He would get up there and make a speech like, even though I'm running unopposed, I still need your vote. I was like, really? Why do you need my vote? You're running unopposed. You vote for you. You're in. Landslide. Nobody votes for you. You're still in. You know, you really, I you know what those speeches are.

6:56 Kelly Hu How awful would it be, though, if he really didn't get elected? If he was the only person running and still he did not get elected.

7:03 Drew He'd have to not vote for himself.

7:04 Adam It would have hurt his self-esteem. But you know what it was? You know what it should be?

7:07 Drew Kelly just thinks about evil things. I know.

7:09 I'm just thinking how sad that would be.

7:10 Kelly Hu Like, would he be able to live? Would he kill himself?

7:13 Drew You just think about sad things for people to live through.

7:16 Adam Kelly's not sad. She's more diabolical.

7:18 Drew That's what I mean.

7:19 Kelly Hu I'm worried about this person's mental being.

7:22 Drew I want to be sure he kills himself. What? No, Kelly understands.

7:25 Adam They should start the speech like the running unopposed people should start the speech, not with even though I'm running unopposed, I still need your vote. They should start it with even though I'm running unopposed, I still want to make a goddamn speech. Because that's really what it is. Because they don't need the vote clearly. But yeah, all I'm saying, I'm not trying to take anything away from the Miss Teen competition or the student body president. I'm just saying, sometimes people think, oh, I'll never win that, I'll never be up for that. Oftentimes, not everyone runs for it, not everyone goes out for it, you'd be surprised sometimes.

8:03 Drew I recommend it because it helps with the college thing immensely. I judged the Miss USA contest.

8:08 Kelly Hu Did you?

8:09 Drew Yeah.

8:09 Kelly Hu Where?

8:10 Drew In Gary, Indiana.

8:11 Adam In his underpants.

8:12 Drew That's where they really are.

8:13 Kelly Hu Did you have any girls trying to seduce you?

8:16 Adam Oh, yeah.

8:16 Drew Of course.

8:18 Adam He's a passionate man.

8:20 Kelly Hu That's why they won.

8:20 Drew No, I got to have dinner with Martha Stewart and Donald Trump that night.

8:24 Kelly Hu I love Martha.

8:25 Drew Yeah, I do, too.

8:26 Kelly Hu I think she's awesome.

8:27 Drew She is.

8:28 Adam Why? Because you both have a motor in you. I think you like that, right? You like someone with a motor in them?

8:34 Kelly Hu She's handling it much better than I am, though. But I think she's built this empire. And sure, she made a little slip, but who wouldn't have given the chance?

8:45 Drew Oh, look. I'm not sure it was a slip.

8:47 Adam It's not even. Look, if my money manager called me and said, hey, you know that X, Y, and Z stock we bought a bunch of a year ago? Yeah. I just heard that whatever drug they made is not going to get approved. So we should sell it. I'd go, yeah, no, sell it all.

9:03 Caller Right.

9:03 Kelly Hu Exactly. You wouldn't even think twice.

9:05 Caller Yeah.

9:05 Drew Especially somebody as busy as her.

9:07 Adam I assume that's how it goes on. But then what they do is they bust you for perjury, right? Because then they come after you. That's what she got busted for.

9:16 Drew And she went, I didn't do that. And then they have records of shows that she did it.

9:18 Kelly Hu OK, so like, what is which is the worst offense, the perjury or getting busted for that crime?

9:23 Drew There wasn't a crime.

9:24 Adam Obviously. Well, it still is. There is a few things that are pending. But the point is, and we're no we're no tax attorneys here, and we don't want to bore everyone. But the point is, is it's a little unscrupulous to say, you did something that really wasn't any big deal. You defend yourself by going, no, I didn't. And they go, ah, you're lying. Now you're going to jail.

9:43 Kelly Hu Right.

9:44 Adam So they end up sending her to jail for denying the crappy nonsensical crime that they accused her of.

9:50 Drew Right.

9:50 Adam Right.

9:51 Drew Yes. Absolutely.

9:52 Kelly Hu But the point is of tax dollars, they should have just made her pay like millions of gazillions of dollars to some charity or whatever.

9:58 Drew Thank you.

9:59 Adam She should just built a park somewhere in the inner city and moved on.

10:02 Kelly Hu Exactly.

10:03 Adam Yeah, I don't I don't I don't understand what we get obsessed with and how it works and how much money we're willing to spend or give certain things when there's not enough money to put people to check. Like you just take a look at the government and Martha Stewart and the trial. And then we we don't have enough guys to check the containers that come in from the Middle East off the transport boats. Really? We couldn't we can someone can't smarten up with the funds a little bit.

10:28 Kelly Hu Yeah.

10:28 Adam Shifting them in certain directions always seems to land in favor of the attorney. So by the way, somehow they seem to have an unlimited amount of money, whether it's Whitewater or Martha Stewart, whatever it is, they have unlimited funds and they can just keep going forever and costing millions and billions of dollars. Somehow the guy gets 12 bucks an hour for going out to the dock and sniffing around a container.

10:50 Drew No way.

10:50 Adam No, we can't afford him.

10:51 Drew No way.

10:52 Adam That's out of reach. We can't do that as a society. Yeah. We need the attorneys. Yeah, they're important. The guy checking the plutonium coming in from Uzbekistan. No, we don't need him. No, we don't need that guy. All right.

11:05 Drew All right.

11:06 Adam Well, now that we're all we can all agree that we're equally bitter about society.

11:11 Drew Yeah.

11:11 Adam Yes, Drew.

11:12 Drew And before we go to calls, I'm still looking for a impotent diabetic male guy who's got erectile difficulty because of diabetes.

11:17 Adam You got Chris right here.

11:18 Drew No, no, because of diabetes, not just in the sense of unable to engage. I mean, watch it, Adam. Actual erectile difficulty from having mismanaged one's diabetes.

11:28 Adam Yeah.

11:28 Drew Yeah. And then a woman who's having a sexual arousal difficulty or dryness. You've got Chris from from antidepressants, medication or birth control pills or shots. But the shot, I wonder how much are you paying?

11:41 Adam Look no further.

11:42 Drew You want to negotiate the depot?

11:46 Adam Yeah, Kelly, you're not on anything, are you?

11:49 Kelly Hu I'm on everything.

11:50 Adam Yeah.

11:50 Kelly Hu I have allergies and asthma.

11:52 Drew Oh, yes. You're just taking the zero tech day or so.

11:54 Kelly Hu Oh, Allegra, Allegra D.

11:56 Adam That's why she's all beaked up.

11:57 Drew Yeah.

11:58 Kelly Hu Yeah.

11:58 Drew And then she's loaded.

11:59 Kelly Hu Well, you guys have coffee. I got to keep coffee.

12:01 Adam She's beaked up on the later on.

12:02 Kelly Hu I got to take a sleeping pill to sleep.

12:03 Drew Somehow it's come down. Yeah, it's a siphon. Isn't it comical when somebody like her has allergies?

12:07 Kelly Hu Why is it comical?

12:08 Adam I'll tell you why. Because you seem like such a fine specimen of human beings.

12:13 Drew You're not supposed to have allergies.

12:14 Kelly Hu I am so sickly. It's not even funny.

12:16 Adam I would. I see you seem like the kind of person we need to freeze and study as or breed. We need to breed. Do you have children?

12:25 Kelly Hu I'm still trying not to have children.

12:26 Adam All right.

12:27 Drew Well, now those pills made you have sexual dysfunction.

12:30 Kelly Hu How much?

12:33 Drew Yeah, can you listen to this?

12:34 Adam Kelly, Kelly is just is one of these people just had a very strong genetic hand dealt to her. She's got that Hawaiian thing, the Chinese thing.

12:43 Drew The genetic diversity is always the best.

12:45 Adam Yeah. But I'll tell you, when you take the honky and the Asian and you mix them up, you get a great concoction. It's delightful. You know what I mean? It's like you're making a smoothie out of two fruits that aren't necessarily that good themselves, but you put them in the blender and it's marvelous. That's what the Asian and the white guy is.

13:04 Drew But you're Hawaiian and Chinese and English.

13:07 Adam That's just another fruit. But let me tell you, the Hawaiian, that fruit ain't much good on its own either.

13:14 Drew No.

13:15 Kelly Hu They all died of syphilis and stuff.

13:17 Drew Chinese, they get diabetes too.

13:21 Adam Why are they not a great fruit? But you put them all in the blender.

13:24 Kelly Hu Well, dogs are the same, no?

13:25 Drew Absolutely.

13:26 Kelly Hu Yeah. Yeah, diversity. It's better when it's all mixed up.

13:29 Adam That's right.

13:30 Drew That's genetic diversity.

13:32 Adam Glad you're seeing things our way.

13:33 Kelly Hu I'm waiting for a break because I got to do a puff of my inhaler.

13:39 Adam Go ahead and do it now.

13:39 It's comical.

13:41 Drew I could just hit myself.

13:42 Adam Yeah, give Drew a shot. If you got any pills, bring them over here. Get some of that Xanax or something.

13:49 Drew Is it adver or flow vent? What do you got?

13:50 Adam Drop a line of that. Drew, what's with these new weird puffers that look like change purses? And what the hell is this thing?

13:56 Caller I forgot to take this off.

13:59 Adam Shelly tried puffing on it and it was blocked off.

14:02 Drew Yeah, you're doing it wrong. Oh, Drew, sure had to do it. Away from the mouth.

14:07 Adam Away.

14:08 Drew Away from the mouth a bit.

14:09 Adam You don't put it in your mouth? Drew, let me have a hit.

14:13 Drew Otherwise, you're shooting into your tongue.

14:15 Adam Hey, dude, don't bogart that inhaler. No, I don't have any problems.

14:19 Kelly Hu I have been doing this for years and no one's ever told me that.

14:22 Drew They have those spacers, you know, that's what the spacers are for.

14:25 Kelly Hu I don't know what these spacers are.

14:27 Adam I like the idea that...

14:28 Kelly Hu Thank God I've done this in front of him.

14:30 Adam As a doctor, you handed it to me and told me to take a hit, even though I have no problems with my pulmonary system. Yes? So you put it away from your mouth. All right, Drew, let me just get this straight. You don't take an inhaler and put your lips on it.

14:44 Drew You shouldn't. It's better to hold away a little bit.

14:47 Adam What, an inch?

14:48 Drew An inch or two, yeah.

14:49 Adam Or two?

14:49 Kelly Hu He's studying my pill jar.

14:51 Adam Two's kind of out there. And she has like a-

14:54 Drew All these allergy things.

14:55 Adam It's five or six-

14:57 Drew Singular, we got the asthma stuff.

14:59 Adam Baby, you're beat up.

15:00 Kelly Hu It's my travel case. I keep it in my purse because I travel all the time and I don't want to forget the important medications.

15:05 Adam Yeah. Drew, go to the LUDE department and give me something.

15:09 Drew Roche, you have clonopin or something here?

15:10 Kelly Hu What is this? What are you looking at, the blue stuff?

15:12 Drew The pink.

15:13 Kelly Hu Or the pink?

15:13 Adam Yeah.

15:14 Drew It's either Valium or...

15:15 Adam Valium. Give me one of those. Drew is looking...

15:19 Drew Clonopin?

15:20 Yeah.

15:21 Adam Let's just taste it.

15:22 Kelly Hu It's the stuff I got in Mexico for sleeping.

15:25 Adam Oh, yeah.

15:25 Kelly Hu Is that what that is? They call it Lexotan.

15:27 Drew That's not good for you.

15:28 Adam You're going to need one of those.

15:29 Kelly Hu I got it from the medic.

15:31 Drew Very addictive.

15:31 Adam Put one of those.

15:32 Kelly Hu Great.

15:33 Adam I'm taking one of those home. Seriously, you want some money? I'll give you 10 bucks for one of those.

15:37 Kelly Hu Well, you know, I do have that Allegra D in me, so I got to sleep somehow, right?

15:41 Drew You got to go down. She did mention that before you came in. She had to take a sleep in.

15:43 Adam She's like Elvis.

15:44 Drew It's getting that way.

15:45 Kelly Hu See, I need all this stuff just to survive. You don't want my genes. I suck.

15:49 Drew I would like your genes. Is this an Ambien?

15:50 Adam Yes.

15:50 Drew You have Ambien too?

15:51 Adam Ambien.

15:52 Kelly Hu You know, when you travel, it's the best.

15:54 Drew Yeah, but you have the clump, too.

15:55 Kelly Hu I know.

15:56 Adam Hey, Drew.

15:57 Kelly Hu I travel a lot.

15:58 Adam I'm no doctor, but do you have to put your fingers on every pill that's in there? Drew, I'll tell you, for a doctor, zero in the hygiene department. I mean, he may clean himself, but he sneezes in my face constantly.

16:10 Kelly Hu That's because he has children, too. You know, when you have kids, I think you lose a lot of sense of hygiene.

16:14 Adam What's that? What's the blue one?

16:16 Drew No, no. What's this?

16:17 Adam Roofy. That's a roofie.

16:19 Kelly Hu Actually, I haven't used that in a long time.

16:20 Adam Well, give me one of those. What is that through?

16:22 Kelly Hu Come on, Drew, you're the doctor.

16:24 Drew Is that Xanax?

16:25 Adam This. All right. I'm going to take a call.

16:27 Drew We got to talk here. We got to talk, you know.

16:29 Adam She's fine.

16:30 Drew I'll leave you my card.

16:31 Adam Leave these out.

16:31 Kelly Hu It's been in there forever.

16:33 Adam Yeah. Well, look, you're not eating them. I'm going to eat them. OK. All right. Let me.

16:37 Kelly Hu It's like a candy jar.

16:38 Adam Let me explain something, Kelly. I'll tell you something.

16:41 Kelly Hu Tell me.

16:41 Adam Don't listen. Drew's an addiction medicine specialist, and he is seriously a little bit freaked out.

16:46 Kelly Hu And I know I can tell this. He's like studying this thing like it's life or death.

16:50 Adam Now, when he sees his pharmacy in your purse, he's a little freaked out by it. I'll tell you what would calm him down a little bit. If I said, yeah, give me one of those Kalanipins. And he went, yeah, here you go. Because a real drug act would be like, no, I got sick of myself.

17:02 Drew So this is a very diabolic way of getting you to give him your medicine.

17:08 Adam If you give me one of those Kalanipins, Drew will let you off the hook. If you don't, Drew will have you admitted tonight.

17:16 Kelly Hu Yes, Drew? Ten bucks. What if I sell it to him for ten bucks? Does that make me a addict?

17:20 Adam No, no, you're a pusher. No, you'd have to give me one.

17:23 Drew You have to toss him one. And some reefer with it.

17:25 Adam What do you call that, Drew? You're like 1088 or something. You throw her in the joint. How's the doctor? You know, you can do that nutty thing.

17:34 Drew Oh, the 5150.

17:34 Adam She'll give you the 5150.

17:36 Drew The nutty thing.

17:37 Kelly Hu What?

17:38 Adam He'll make a phone call and he'll 5150 your ass and you'll be in the loony bin for 48 hours, minus those pills.

17:46 Kelly Hu Is that what they do? Really? You can make that phone call and that would really happen?

17:50 Adam He will.

17:51 Kelly Hu So you don't want to piss him off then?

17:53 Adam You don't want to piss him off.

17:54 Kelly Hu You too. You're the one who's more susceptible than I am.

17:56 Drew You want to give my buddy who's back. I'm watching at this moment.

17:58 Adam That's right.

17:59 Drew Some of those addictive medication.

18:00 Adam You got to give me, you got to give me.

18:02 Kelly Hu So this really boils down to the medication again.

18:05 Adam You will.

18:06 Drew Yes.

18:06 Kelly Hu What if I really need this stuff?

18:08 Adam You don't need all of them tonight.

18:09 Kelly Hu How bad are you going to feel if I can't sleep tonight?

18:11 Adam That's my point. If you need them that badly, Drew, get on the phone.

18:15 Drew Drew will 5150 you. She's got 40 different kinds of sleeping meds there. She'll be all right.

18:23 Adam Jim Morrison. Give me one of them. That's all.

18:26 Kelly Hu Okay. Which color do you want?

18:28 Adam Drew, what's the best one?

18:28 Drew I want that blue one.

18:29 Adam The blue one. You want the blue one?

18:30 Kelly Hu No, I can't give you the blue one.

18:31 Adam Uh-oh. Get on the phone. 5150. Call the hospital. Get the guy at the giant butterfly net to face her down. Oh yeah. You'll be laughing when you're sleeping in a padded room.

18:42 Kelly Hu How about a big white one? How about a pink one?

18:45 Drew Those big white ones might be... What's the stuff you want so badly? No, that big white one, she'd get these stuff overseas.

18:52 Adam It might be a quailude.

18:52 Drew Might be a quailude.

18:53 Adam Might be niacin too.

18:54 Kelly Hu I'm gonna be carrying quailudes in my purse traveling across country or...

19:00 Drew Kelly?

19:01 Kelly Hu To what?

19:01 Drew You got some of the stuff in there.

19:02 Adam You got stuff in there.

19:03 Kelly Hu That would be illegal?

19:04 Drew No.

19:05 Kelly Hu No, it's all legal.

19:06 Drew Of similar kinds of potency.

19:08 Adam I'm just saying, Kelly, unless you went to Drew, to put you in lockdown for 72 hours, you pick a pill that you're willing to part with and you give it to the Ace man.

19:17 Kelly Hu OK, you can have a singular. How's that?

19:20 Drew Everything we said about that genetic superiority stuff, I think that'll be...

19:23 Adam I know. Now, Drew, go get something good. I don't want to take some... I don't want to take birth control tonight with a couple of beers and think I'm getting buzzed.

19:31 Kelly Hu Afraid of growing boobs.

19:33 Adam Yes.

19:34 Kelly Hu Joanna?

19:37 Adam You're 19. I'm serious. You got to part with one and Drew will give you a break.

19:42 Drew Let me look at what else is there.

19:43 Kelly Hu No, no, no, no. I'm scared now.

19:44 Drew What's the pink one at the bottom?

19:45 Adam Yeah, what's the pink one on the bottom?

19:47 Drew That's your... That's your...

19:49 Adam Give me something from the middle. What is this one, Drew?

19:52 Kelly Hu That's the good stuff you said.

19:54 Adam Is it a good one?

19:54 Kelly Hu That's the Mexico stuff.

19:55 Adam OK, that's good enough.

19:56 Kelly Hu I'm not going to get arrested for this because I think you're not supposed to. All right.

20:00 Drew All right.

20:00 Adam Thank you.

20:00 Drew Do not take that before driving home.

20:02 Adam No, no. Take a while driving home. Joanna.

20:05 Yeah, I'm here.

20:06 Adam You're 19. Sorry.

20:07 Caller She's upset.

20:07 Drew Adam, she's pissed. She took her pills. She's partying. It's like partying.

20:10 Adam I prevented you from being in locked 5150 for 72 hours, Missy.

20:15 Kelly Hu I owe you big time.

20:16 Adam Thank you, Joanna. This is not we're not even on the radio. This is an intervention. Understand we called you in tonight because we knew you had a problem.

20:25 Drew Yeah, these things don't fit there.

20:27 Adam I go ahead, Joanna.

20:28 Caller Okay. I'm 19 years old and for the past few years, I've been living with my baby daddy and I've been. I'm stuck in love triangle, which I've been carrying another relationship for about six months on the side.

20:47 Drew Does he know about this?

20:49 Caller Well, he's caught me twice, like not actually in person, but like going through my phone.

20:54 Drew All right, Joanne, what's the plan here? What's the plan? You're 19, you've got a child, you're living with a guy, you're cheating, you've got total chaos in your life. What's the plan?

21:03 Caller Okay. Well, this is where I'm confused. See, at the beginning of the relationship, it was very abusive between me and the baby daddy. When I finally left him, he changed, which I can actually admit that he has changed.

21:19 Drew Well, one of the things that people do sometimes when they're in these abusive dances is that they can change the role from abuser to abusee or vice versa.

21:27 Adam Yeah. And look, people change when you kick them out and they cool off. They move back in. They pick up again.

21:32 Drew Yeah. And this isn't the change. This is just a shift in your your position in this dance. Yeah.

21:38 Adam How do you know he's changed?

21:39 Kelly Hu How long has it been since he's changed?

21:42 Caller Um, for about a good five, four months.

21:47 Kelly Hu No, that's long enough.

21:49 Drew Yeah. But the change is that he's become the victim and you become the abuser now.

21:53 Caller Exactly. So what my question is, is this my way of like venting my anger towards him through all the...

22:02 Adam Yeah. Well, toward your dad, too.

22:05 Drew Whatever made you be the victim is also making you be the abuser. This is not a change in either of you. It's just you flipped. You flipped your roles. This is not real change.

22:14 Adam Well, also...

22:15 Drew This was in both of you already. A real change. You guys would cease the abuse.

22:20 Adam And you want the real abuse to begin. Wait till this guy moves in with a head full of knowing what you did with this other guy. Oh, gosh. Yeah, that's when the abuse begins.

22:29 Drew When he breaks it out again, it's going to be really, really bad. He will not. He has not changed as though this is never.

22:35 Adam Well, has he gotten sober or been to therapy or anything?

22:39 Caller Neither of the two. It's just like a change that happened.

22:43 Kelly Hu Then he hasn't really changed.

22:45 Adam No, he's just he just mellowed out because you kicked him out. And by the way, listen, people, you got to learn to read people. He's on his best behavior when he sees you. He's abusive. So you toss him out. It's like a guy is throwing too many parties in the apartment. And so the landlord tosses him out and he's trying to explain to him that he's changed his ways and it goes a bit early. Sure, he's going to say anything he can until he gets back in.

23:08 Drew Right.

23:08 Adam Then the parties begin.

23:09 Drew That's right.

23:10 Adam Obviously, you don't understand this when you're 19. You just think, the guy had seven weeks. He's a different guy now. He was beating the crap out of me before, but he's changed. Well, he was 19 and a half back then. Now he's 19 and five eights. It's a different man. Totally different thing. No therapy, no sobriety. Just a new new man.

23:30 Kelly Hu Do you think that a man can change once he has a child, though?

23:34 Drew They do change. In what way?

23:36 Kelly Hu If he was abusive before and or maybe if he was a cheater. I had a girlfriend whose husband was a cheater.

23:42 Drew I could see the cheating thing stop. But the abusive stuff doesn't.

23:45 Adam Here's the thing. Guys change when they have kids, when they're 38 or 42.

23:49 Drew I was just going to say, it's more a function of the testosterone levels are falling and they find value in domestic life and they want to protect it.

23:57 Adam They're waiting to die.

23:58 Drew And they start waiting to die.

23:59 Adam Joanna. All right. I take a lot of love out. Look, I don't trust the old guy. I don't trust the new guy. How about you focus on not crapping out any more kids and not screwing up the one you have?

24:12 Caller Yeah, there we go.

24:13 Adam Yeah, that'd be a good plan. How about you not get your kid to resent you the way you resent your parents? Wouldn't that be a treat?

24:20 Caller True.

24:21 Adam It'd be awesome. I mean, imagine let's just go into the future. Imagine your kid is 19 and feels the way about you that you feel about your parents. Wouldn't that be a horrible feeling?

24:32 Drew Wouldn't that be nice?

24:34 Caller No. Yeah, right.

24:36 Adam Right. I mean, listen, everybody, there's a good game to play. You know, all you people have these horrible parents and you just think you see that you're so angry at your mom, the stepdad, the abuse and how you have no respect for them and all. Imagine your kid just hating you. I mean, forget about failing as a parent. That's failing as a human being. Your kid just doesn't like you.

25:00 Drew My parents made me, even though I hate them, they made me into a good person. Who cares if they beat the crap out of me? It made me who I am and I'm a, therefore my kid one day will respect, oh, well that's such a bunch of BS. Think about this TV show, this Nanny 911 now. Have you seen it?

25:13 Kelly Hu I love that show.

25:14 Drew Yeah, look at the parents every time you go in there.

25:16 Kelly Hu Right.

25:16 Drew At least one of them is severely disturbed.

25:19 Kelly Hu Right.

25:20 Drew And they downplay the physical abuse and stuff that's going on in these households, but it is profound.

25:24 Kelly Hu You think there's a lot of physical abuse?

25:27 Drew Just judging by the kids' behaviors. But at least one of the parents has like a major psychiatric problem.

25:33 Adam If Kelly wasn't high as a kite right now, she would really be crying.

25:38 Kelly Hu It's just the allergy pills, I swear.

25:40 Caller Oh, yeah.

25:42 Drew Look at that. We're a stack of pharmacy.

25:44 Adam Got to paint an RX on the side of that purse.

25:47 Drew Absolutely.

25:48 Caller All right.

25:48 Adam Let's take ourselves a little break.

25:49 Kelly Hu You know what, though? Can I just tell you something? Don't you think she should never, ever tell?

25:52 Adam Who?

25:53 Kelly Hu Her, the guy, the guy she knows already. Oh, he knows already.

25:57 Adam She made sure she found out about it.

25:59 Kelly Hu She got caught twice. Then she has to leave because he's going to hate her for the rest of his life.

26:03 Adam Let me say something. It's not even caught. He abused her and she made sure that she found out that he found out about her and the other guy.

26:10 Kelly Hu It was her way of getting back at him.

26:11 Adam Of course it was. That's fine.

26:13 Kelly Hu It's great.

26:14 Adam Look, everyone, do all this all you want. Just don't do it in front of a kid, you retards.

26:19 Drew Once you're a parent, stop.

26:20 Adam That's right. I don't mean in front of. I just mean, look, every 19 year old is going to have the chaotic, is going to have the energy and the testosterone and the hormones. And you cheated. I'm coming over your house. I'm burning out in your lawn. I'm coming in. Who's that guy? Whose truck is parked out front of your house? That's my best friend.

26:38 Drew All that.

26:39 Adam Fine. Get it out of your system and then crap out the kids.

26:42 Drew Yes, later.

26:43 Adam Thank you.

26:43 Drew All right.

26:44 Adam Kelly Hu here tonight. We're going to take a break. Drew's going to take a urine sample.

26:51 Drew I don't need to. I got all the drugs right in front of me.

26:53 Adam Let's get the urine sample. We'll be right back after this. Here, buddy, it's a love line. Madam, that's Dr. Drew. And who's in here tonight? Kelly Hu. That's who. Kelly Hu. You know, that's from...

27:21 Kelly Hu What is it from?

27:22 Adam It's from... That's my imitation of the Latino mom when I call to ask where my Mexican maid is. Always taken a little by surprise. But they say Hu, but the person lives with them. That's the part I find amazing. So it's like, hello, is Waldo there? Uh... Is Waldo?

27:50 No! No! He's not here!

27:53 Adam It's like... It's like...

27:53 Kelly Hu That's not Mexican. That's like Korean or something.

27:55 Adam Well, I don't have a lot of range. The point is, is like, the way they say it, I picture the guy, he's got a gun like under his chin, and he's duct taped to the dining room chair. She's shaking her head like don't... And then when they do put him on my picture, I'm like holding the phone up and just doing that. Look, anything happens, the kid gets it. Just, and it's like...

28:15 Kelly Hu That is so frightening.

28:17 Adam Yeah, it's frightening. It is.

28:18 Kelly Hu Does your imagination do this all the time?

28:20 Adam It does.

28:20 Drew Watch a lot of CSI.

28:22 Adam I do watch a lot of CSI, which is where you can find Kelly, Wednesday nights, 10 o'clock.

28:27 Kelly Hu On a couple of episodes.

28:28 Adam Yeah, New York, CBS, yeah. All right, where were we there, Drew?

28:32 Drew Taking calls.

28:32 Adam Yeah, taking calls.

28:33 Drew Oh, and a diabetic male with a rectal problem and a woman with medication related, what? Oh, Chris, medication related intercourse problems.

28:42 Adam There you go.

28:42 Drew We're looking for someone else.

28:43 Adam All right.

28:44 Drew In addition to Chris. Exactly, Chris. Thank you.

28:46 Caller Jen.

28:48 Adam What's up? Who?

28:50 Caller Hello.

28:50 Adam Yeah, who? The guy came out of your crotch 41 years ago. You've been living with for 41 years. Who? I say his name, same name.

29:02 Caller Hello.

29:03 Adam Go ahead, Jen.

29:03 Caller Okay. I had a question. I've been with my now newly husband for about three years, and he had, when I was pregnant, I was about a couple months pregnant, he was diagnosed with general warts, which he didn't tell me about. Then I had to wait till after my pregnancy to fully get rid of them because I couldn't take the cream for it.

29:29 Drew These are on the outside of your vagina then, right?

29:31 Adam Okay.

29:32 Caller But I didn't have it in the back. Scoundrel. So finally I had gotten rid of it, and then by snooping around through his medical staff, medical receipt, I found out that he still had it.

29:44 Drew He still had what?

29:45 Adam Warts? Yeah.

29:46 Kelly Hu After you cleared yours up.

29:47 Caller Yeah.

29:48 Adam You don't really get rid of them.

29:49 Drew You don't ever get rid of them.

29:50 Caller Oh, you really don't?

29:52 Drew No. You control them, but they will generally keep coming back. Most of them will come back for about five years and then kind of burn out on their own.

29:58 Adam Yeah, they're like roaches. You swat them when you see them, but they're always around.

30:04 Drew You can still pass it on to other people and they can still... the ones that stick around after the three to five year interval, when most of them burn out, the ones that go on beyond that are the ones that tend to be associated with cervical cancer. So if you have persistent problems, real important you get screened regularly by your doctor.

30:21 Caller Well, I had that before and they had to actually move my cervix to that.

30:26 Drew You already had your cervix removed? Yeah. And you got pregnant?

30:31 Caller Well, after I had the baby. So just baby, that means after.

30:36 Drew And when did you find out you had the warts?

30:39 Caller I had the, I found out I had the warts during my pregnancy.

30:42 Drew So you may have given them to your husband?

30:45 Caller No, he actually, I found out through his mother that he had problems before and I was never told that.

30:52 Drew Turn your radio off.

30:54 Adam There must have been a wonderful conversation. A real Hills Brothers International Coffee moment. Mom sitting around, do out on the lawn, drinking some French Rose, talking about the son's warts.

31:06 Kelly Hu I'm actually surprised his mother knew. If he's hiding it from her.

31:11 Adam What do you think your folks know about you and your venereal past?

31:14 Caller Well, I thought it was, she had asked questions because I was complaining of a lot of problems and I had a lot of health problems and I told her, well, you know, the last recent one, she started kind of nosy around and kind of asked questions. And I didn't know really what to say. So I just finally decided to tell her the truth. Because I'm an honest person anyway. And that's when she told me.

31:35 Adam Yeah, pop-up. Hey, I'm starting to hear something in Jen's voice.

31:39 Drew Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

31:40 Caller I don't have the radio on.

31:42 Adam Okay, turn that radio off. But is something going on with you? Were you ever victimized?

31:51 Caller Yeah, when I was younger.

31:52 Drew How old were you when that started?

31:53 Caller I was maybe like, I mean, the most I remember was I was molested at around eight. And then I was raped a couple of times.

32:01 Drew Okay, well either of those may have been where you picked up the warts. Doesn't have to have been your husband. He may have gotten them from you.

32:05 Adam Well, what about Mom? Rattin him out. Mom said he had warts.

32:12 Drew Yeah, but maybe they've been together three years. Maybe she found about it two and a half years ago.

32:19 Adam Jen?

32:19 Caller Yeah?

32:20 Adam What happened? Who molested you when you were eight?

32:22 Caller I was by an uncle.

32:25 Drew I definitely hear six, seven. You sure you weren't younger than eight?

32:28 Caller All I remember is eight.

32:31 Kelly Hu Yeah, it's that shakiness in the voice, huh?

32:33 Drew The closure of the voice? Start saying the alphabet to us, Jen.

32:36 Caller A-D-C-D-E-F-G.

32:39 Drew Sound like an adult's ear?

32:41 Adam Sound like a mother?

32:42 Kelly Hu Yeah.

32:43 Adam That's a kid. Yeah, they get locked in to whatever age they were where they got molested.

32:48 Kelly Hu Oh, that's why you can figure out the age.

32:50 Adam Yeah.

32:51 Drew Just imagine in your mind how old the child is that you hear the voice of.

32:54 Adam Yeah.

32:55 Drew Sweet Spirit?

32:56 Adam That's how it works. Yeah, what it is is they sound different when they get molested at four or five, then they do it at eight or nine, and then after that, they just get angry. I mean, after 12, it's just.

33:07 Kelly Hu You mean they carry a four-year-old's voice?

33:11 Drew It just evokes in you. It may not be specifically a four-year-old's voice, but when you listen and you think what age child is that speaking, you can literally peg it.

33:19 Adam Yeah, this just means that's the age I got abused.

33:22 Kelly Hu What if they go through therapy? Does their voice change?

33:24 Drew It changes, yeah. It can.

33:25 Kelly Hu It does?

33:26 Drew Yeah, it can. Wow. In our experience.

33:28 Adam Yeah, it's not really the tone exactly. A lot of it's just the cadence and the sort of... Look, here's the thing. Racists sort of sound racist and Republicans sort of sound Republican and hippies sound hippie and gays sounds gay and abuse sounds abused. You know what I mean? Why is abuse any different than gay?

33:49 Drew Right. So Kelly, recite the alphabet. We'll close our eyes. Who, me? Yeah.

33:53 Caller Yeah.

33:55 Caller A, B, C.

33:56 Caller No.

33:58 Drew Sex change operation.

34:02 Adam Maybe more turned on now. All right. So, Jen. Yeah. So there's, have you ever got any help for the abuse?

34:11 Caller I did. I actually, I saw a therapist for it.

34:14 Drew For a couple of months.

34:15 Caller For a couple of months. And then actually it brought back a lot of really horrible thoughts and stuff like that.

34:22 Kelly Hu You know what, though? It always is harder before it gets better.

34:25 Caller That's right.

34:26 Drew Yeah. You do need to see some because this will spill over on your child. Yeah. It's transmitted trans intergenerational.

34:33 Kelly Hu Yeah. OK. But I have a question. I've been through therapy and the reason why I stopped there. Yes, I have.

34:39 Caller OK.

34:40 Kelly Hu I'm an actor. Of course, I've been through therapy. And and and one of the reasons why I actually stopped was because it just cost so damn much. And I wanted to spend it on clothes.

34:51 Adam Let me ask you this, can you afford not to go to therapy? OK. All right. Am I right? Oh, yes.

35:00 Kelly Hu I suppose it depends on what you're in therapy for.

35:02 Adam You can't afford not to go. OK. All right.

35:07 Kelly Hu You've been in too much there.

35:09 Adam How much was your therapist a pop 165 an hour?

35:14 Drew You got to come to the east side. Yeah, you're over on the west side.

35:18 Kelly Hu And medical doesn't even take care of it.

35:19 Drew No, you got to pay out of pocket.

35:21 Adam You go out.

35:21 Kelly Hu It sucks. Don't you think medical should take care of that?

35:24 Adam I go to a drive thru place in Sunderland. Drive thru? I did a whole thing through a speakerphone.

35:29 Caller Just got a click from.

35:31 Adam I'm like, is that is Mr. Dr. Kleineck?

35:35 Caller He's not here.

35:36 Adam Dr. A. I have a lot of, I think, deep seated. Okay, please drive the car forward, please.

35:43 Drew I need to see the lights, please.

35:45 Caller I need to see the lights, please.

35:46 Adam I need to stretch out. Recline the chair in the car, please. Recline the seat, please. Please turn on the radio. Yeah, that's all right. But it's cheap. And then you just put 20 bucks into the hopper. The drawer slides out. You get there, throw the 20 bucks in. You feel great.

36:01 Kelly Hu The drawer behind the bulletproof glass. Yeah.

36:04 Adam You can come in the car with me. It's like the drive-in. You sneak a few people in the trunk. Put a speaker in there and pipe it into the trunk.

36:11 Drew Extra benefit.

36:12 Adam Yeah. You're going to shrink on the west side.

36:15 Kelly Hu Yeah, I was, actually.

36:16 Adam You go east side.

36:17 Kelly Hu East side.

36:17 Adam Yeah, we keep it real.

36:18 Kelly Hu I don't know. Can I?

36:20 Drew Insurance does not cover mental health issues. I get patients who are poly-drug addicted, trauma survivor with personality disorder, bipolar, and a medical problem. I get five days with them. Try to turn a life around in five days.

36:30 Kelly Hu That is insane. That is so unfair.

36:32 Drew Yes, thank you. And there's supposed to be parity between medical and mental health. Oh, really? Absolutely. It's the law.

36:38 Adam Oh, it is? Well, what does that mean? It's the law.

36:41 Drew Let me ask right now. That's the fact.

36:43 Kelly Hu Wait, okay. If I were to go in and say that I was suicidal and attempted suicide.

36:47 Drew 72 hours. Boom.

36:48 Kelly Hu That's it?

36:49 Adam 5150, sister.

36:50 Drew Maybe five days. Maybe seven if there's a complex plan in place, but five days.

36:54 Kelly Hu Holy cow.

36:56 Adam Yeah. All right. Like I said, come to the drive-thru with me. Be fine.

37:01 Kelly Hu I'd love to hear all of your problems.

37:03 Adam Yeah. And I'll start to do the talking, but I'll be like, my friend Kelly Hu is here.

37:10 Caller Is she in X2?

37:12 Adam What is she in? She was in the end. She was in the Scorpion King.

37:18 Caller Okay.

37:18 Caller I'm going to start masturbating.

37:21 Adam It's inappropriate. And I don't think some of these people are actual doctors, but it's the process that's important. The therapeutic process, that's half of the healing, actually going.

37:32 Caller All right.

37:34 Adam Let's take a break. We're going to speak to Jonah when we come back. Jonah from Mississippi. How many Jonas are there in Mississippi? 22, never had a wet dream. Heard it's supposed to be common. Let's know if it's good, bad, or I don't know what. Kelly Hu in here tonight, CSI, New York, CBS. Wednesday nights at 10 o'clock. We'll take a quick break. Oh, yes, we'll do that too. We got a little music too. Do all that after this.

38:01 Caller Loveline.

38:02 Caller Okay, wait, wait. My hair, my hair.

38:05 Caller We'll be right back.

38:08 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Kelly Hu here tonight. Kelly is starred in such movies as X2 and Cradle of Grey, Scorpion King.

38:22 Kelly Hu Is it weird that I'm beginning to find that very sensuous that Hu?

38:28 Drew More than weird.

38:29 Adam You're going to have it on your outgoing message on your phone machine.

38:33 Kelly Hu Yes, I will.

38:34 Adam That'd be good. Anderson, you could probably time it where Kelly could go, Hi, this is Kelly. Hu? Right there. I'm not home right now.

38:44 Drew How about just when the phone rings instead of a bell of tone, she gets the Hu.

38:47 Adam I like the outgoing. Why don't you try that?

38:48 Caller Will you do that for me?

38:50 Adam Try to time it. Try to do it. Anderson, you get ready. Kelly, you do a nice outgoing message on your phone machine, and I'll let you do the Kelly, let Anderson do the Hu part.

39:01 Kelly Hu Hi, this is Kelly.

39:02 Caller Hu?

39:04 Kelly Hu I'm not available at the moment. I like that.

39:06 Drew I like that.

39:07 Adam That's good.

39:08 Kelly Hu I think we're going to have to use that. Can we get a recording of that?

39:11 Adam It's very strong. All right. Sexy. We're, yeah, sassy and sexy. Kelly has herself a CD out.

39:22 Kelly Hu No, it's not my CD personally. You're going to make me sound like I'm actually a singer. I'm not.

39:27 Adam Oh, I didn't know you didn't. I thought it was your CD.

39:30 Kelly Hu No, no, no. It's for Tsunami Relief. It's called Forever In Our Hearts.

39:34 Drew Who's singing in it?

39:36 Kelly Hu A bunch of different people. It's on the back. This gentleman named Jason Miller of this band called Godhead. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's awesome. He actually put it all together. POD.

39:46 Drew Chevelle.

39:47 Kelly Hu Oh, yeah. We've got Brian McKnight singing. Maya has got a role in it. I mean, it's just it's amazing how many people will come together.

39:55 Adam How did you get involved in it?

39:57 Kelly Hu Because they wanted just anyone who would be a part, celebrities who would come in and sing in the chorus.

40:06 Drew Peanut from 311.

40:07 Adam Wow. And so were you singing in the chorus?

40:10 Kelly Hu Very softly, softly.

40:13 Adam You can you say?

40:15 Kelly Hu No, no, no, no, no. So I was but I was there and it's going to and the reason why I made an appearance also is because it's going to be shown on MTV. And, you know, they're going to make a whole video of it. And all the proceeds of the sale of this song goes to Tsunami Relief. So you can go to tsunamireliefsong.com or.org and download it or go to iTunes and download it.

40:41 Drew So should we hear it now or talk to Jonah?

40:43 Adam Let's I want to talk to Kyle. Speaking of. Well, no, wait a minute.

40:48 Drew He's Jonah.

40:49 Adam You know, this is something else. All right. Wait, that what this wasn't Tsunami Relief thing was. No, no, not something else. All right. Then we'll talk to Jonah. We'll hear the song when we come back. Jonah.

41:02 Caller Hey, how are you doing?

41:03 Adam What's up? Oh, the wet dream thing.

41:05 Caller Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. First of all, I just like to say I've been in a Captain McCord withdrawal for about five years now.

41:12 Adam Yeah.

41:12 Drew Good times.

41:13 Adam Good times.

41:13 Drew She was our co-host on the TV show. Lovely.

41:16 Caller Good girl. Also, Kelly, who loved you in Surf Ninjas.

41:20 Adam Oh, yeah.

41:21 Drew Right on.

41:22 Adam It was you.

41:22 Caller Yeah.

41:24 Caller Yeah. OK.

41:26 Adam Anyway, let me just say this. The reason Jonah's not having wet dreams is because he's because he's watching Surf Ninjas. He's training the tank every night before he goes to bed.

41:35 Drew Absolutely. That's what I was going to say.

41:37 Adam Yeah.

41:37 Drew He started training it at a young age.

41:38 Adam No doubt about it. Yeah. Jonah, you're beating off so much. That's why you're not having any wet dreams.

41:43 Drew If your tank's empty, ain't nothing coming out. God doesn't have to take it out. If you take it out yourself.

41:48 Caller Yeah. You know what? That is actually a problem for me. But there's a more pressing problem that I need to ask you. Dr. Drew, I'm actually applying to medical school and I smoke weed about three or four times a week. And I just want to know if there's like an ethical problem. I don't think it's a problem in terms of addiction or anything.

42:06 Drew But no, it's not. No, not really.

42:10 Adam No, there's doctors that smoke and drink.

42:12 Drew Yeah. The problem you have to concern yourself with is whether or not this is the beginning of an addictive process. And be sure you get, I treat lots of doctors, believe me, just being an addict doesn't prevent you from being a physician. But it does need to be taken care of if indeed it develops full-blown.

42:29 Kelly Hu What would you consider full-blown? Like how many times a week?

42:32 Drew If it starts having consequences. More than once a week, I look into it.

42:36 Adam Well, he says, what, three, four times a week? Go ahead and make that five, six times a week.

42:42 Drew He's sort of trying to skip a couple of days a week. He's using commercial.

42:47 Adam Those are weeks. But those are days when the stealers just try or runs out.

42:52 Kelly Hu I mean, he's not going in to work stoned, is he?

42:55 Drew Well, it affects you.

42:57 Kelly Hu It does? Yeah. The memory, right?

42:59 Drew It affects judgment, memory, a lot of things. But the point is though, it's fine. But just because you're an addict doesn't preclude you from being a doctor. I know a lot of great doctors that are recovering addicts.

43:09 Kelly Hu Yeah.

43:10 Drew All right.

43:11 Adam So listen, Joni, you're 22. It's going to be tough to get through med school if you're smoking a lot of weed.

43:18 Drew The residency in third and fourth year is not going to work.

43:21 Adam Here's the thing about people smoke a lot of weed. They really have no... I guess it's this way with most people. They're addicted to anything, but especially weed. People that drink understand that they're affected and wouldn't attempt to get loaded perhaps and teach an elementary school class. You know, here's the thing about guys who smoke weed. Guys who smoke weed think they can have a bong load at 7.15 in the morning, just going to work.

43:49 Drew No, they will say, I have to smoke in order to be normal or to function.

43:53 Adam It regulates me. It mellows me out. You know how you're all uptight and everything? No, this mellows me out and I can go about my day.

43:59 Drew What they don't understand is there's a profound effect on them and everybody around knows it. You can see it.

44:05 Adam They don't even know it. They just think they're stupid for the most part or forgetful or out of it or not paying attention. But what I'm saying is people that are alcoholics don't drink a fifth of Vodka and head off to work. They just know they have a problem. Guys who smoke weed go, I have bong load every morning, go to work and you know what? I'm the best employee on the floor.

44:27 Drew And the reality is sometimes it takes a while for the effects to begin to emerge. It may be five years, even 10 or 15 years before people start to have the more biological effects. And so there is a reality component to this, which doesn't affect them that much that people really notice.

44:42 Adam Yeah, but who are you kidding? You would be much more effective at whatever your job is if you weren't stoned.

44:48 Drew That has been shown over and over and over again. Yes, that's true.

44:51 Adam Believe me, I know what it's like to be stoned. I've been stoned millions of times. You're just not quite, whatever you were, you're not quite as good as you were. That's all. I'm not saying you're not more relaxed. Maybe the jobs, the stresses aren't getting to you, but you're nowhere near as effective as you would be if you weren't stoned. I mean, it's pretty obvious. You know the people that are stoned all the time too, do really stupid things. They drive away with the coffee mug on the roof of the car and they can't find the keys and everything. And you go, dude, you're stoned. And they go, no, that wasn't because I was stoned. And I always go, you better hope it's because you were stoned. Otherwise, you're stupid. You got the choice between stupid and stoned. Go stoned. You can put the bong down. You can't take the dunce hat off. You know what I mean?

45:36 Drew That's right.

45:36 Kelly Hu Do you think POT would actually lower your IQ?

45:39 Drew Doesn't lower IQ. No, no, but it does affect your functioning. It affects memory and focus and attentional mechanisms, things like that.

45:46 Adam But but let me say this.

45:48 Drew And they've done just many, many studies have been done. You know, airline pilots, things like that, motor effect judgment.

45:53 Kelly Hu Right.

45:53 Drew These things, particularly novel problem solving is affected. So like, for instance, if you've got an overlearned behavior, like you've landed a plane a thousand times, you land the plane pretty well. But if they throw something weird at you, a wind shear or something, they screw up big time.

46:06 Kelly Hu When you need it most.

46:07 Adam That's right.

46:08 Kelly Hu Yeah.

46:09 Adam No. And here's the thing about your IQ. Like, I don't think sleep deprivation lowers your IQ, but you do two and a half hours sleep and then go do a bunch of interviews and we'll see how quick and lucid and funny you are. You know, if your IQ is essentially lower.

46:26 Drew Yeah.

46:27 Adam Right.

46:28 Drew Right.

46:28 Adam All right. If not practically, at least, well, practically. Yeah.

46:33 Thank you.

46:34 Adam It is practically lower. All right. Well, Kelly Hu here tonight. We'll take ourselves a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

46:43 All right, guys, here's the deal. You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person.

46:48 Drew One call is all you need to make. Call the Dateline. 877-889-DATE. Call the Dateline. 1-800-CALL-

47:09 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. And tonight, Kelly Hu.

47:15 Drew Who?

47:16 Adam Kelly.

47:17 Kelly Hu Sexy.

47:17 Adam Yeah. Well, you, Anderson, you cue it up. I'll just do the Kelly.

47:23 Kelly Hu Who?

47:24 Adam Anderson will do the who. And then Kelly will do the sexy. That's right. Right. Our guest in studio tonight is Kelly.

47:33 Caller Sexy.

47:35 Caller Yeah.

47:37 Adam That could go on your outgoing message, too. Kelly is here to promote a few things, at least of which. What films are you working on now?

47:45 Kelly Hu I'm actually going to be doing an independent film at the end of the month. Yeah. It's called American Ease. It's about Chinese Americans or actually it's about people who are mixed race as well. It's pretty cool.

48:00 Adam You ever experience any discrimination?

48:03 Kelly Hu You know, growing up in Hawaii, I'm part of the majority. So, I think that makes like Asian people who come from Hawaii and Asian people who come from the mainland very different. You know, Asian people I think from Hawaii are just sort of more outgoing and stuff.

48:18 Adam Yeah.

48:18 Kelly Hu And I think that's part of the reason because, you know, we are the majority there.

48:22 Adam Yeah. Kick a little howly ass every once in a while. Go down to the airport. Yeah.

48:26 Kelly Hu Kill Howly Day.

48:27 Adam Pop some Primos and kick a little honky ass down there. You guys still have Primo beer over there?

48:33 Kelly Hu I don't drink beer but I think we do.

48:35 Adam Yeah.

48:35 Kelly Hu Yeah. Why wouldn't we?

48:37 Drew She's got the clod up in her beer.

48:38 Kelly Hu Yeah.

48:38 Adam We didn't need to be there for her.

48:39 Kelly Hu I don't eat beer.

48:40 Drew Where's your clod up by the way?

48:41 Adam I put it in my pocket.

48:42 Kelly Hu Oh yeah. See, he actually took it. He actually took it from me. Now doesn't that make him a bad person?

48:48 Drew No, he saved you from the same hole we're talking about.

48:51 Adam Yeah. Really? Bad person.

48:54 Drew How dare you? What's up with her?

48:56 Adam I have no idea.

48:57 Kelly Hu I'm just trying to look for something wrong in somebody else.

49:00 Adam Kelly, listen, you're going to find plenty of opportunities here. Kelly has brought herself a CD. That CD is for the Tsunami Relief Fund, of which we've raised $30,000 here on this show.

49:18 Kelly Hu Really? Did you? How did you guys do that?

49:20 Adam Well, we did a thing where people won an auction or auction to see who sat in with us and was a guest.

49:28 Drew In your seat.

49:28 Adam In your seat.

49:30 Kelly Hu $30,000 bucks for that?

49:31 Drew Two guys at 15.

49:32 Adam Two guys at 15, yeah. Wow. Yeah.

49:36 Drew Got ripped off, didn't they?

49:37 Adam Yes.

49:38 Kelly Hu Well, that's cool.

49:42 Adam Wow.

49:43 Kelly Hu But you know what? Good for them. They were how generous.

49:46 Adam That's awesome.

49:48 Kelly Hu Were they students? How could who could afford that?

49:51 Drew Who? Oh, really?

49:53 Adam Well, not Drew. That's for damn sure.

49:55 Kelly Hu They like take out student loans for that?

49:57 Drew No, one guy was an astrophysicist. What did he say? One planetary science specialist.

50:01 Adam Essentially, you know, astrophysicist or planetary guy. One guy taught it like.

50:06 Drew Umass Amherst.

50:07 Adam Umass. He made the 15 grand. Neither neither guy was rich. The one guy certainly wasn't rich. The teacher, Jim, what was his name? Jim.

50:18 Kelly Hu Well, teachers don't make any money. We know that.

50:20 Adam Tom. Yeah. Tom Burbank. Tom was a teacher, right? But he was a professor and probably made 85 grand a year. Maybe 90, but 50 percent.

50:31 Kelly Hu He was willing to give you 15,000 out of that?

50:35 Adam Yes, he was.

50:35 Drew He had made it one of his life goals to be on this show.

50:38 Adam Yes.

50:39 Kelly Hu Well, mission accomplished. Cross that off the list.

50:41 Adam The other guy was a realtor who was probably a little more financially successful than Tom was, but still a very generous act. But I started thinking about it, and it just seemed... There was something sort of liberating. The fact that this guy made 15 grand... Here's my point. If you make a billion dollars and you give 15 grand, then it ain't no big thing, and you sit in here and you don't get much of a rush out of it. These guys, both said, here's the way we're going to approach life. We have certain things we'd like to say we did before we go into the grave.

51:20 Kelly Hu I have a list.

51:21 Adam You have a list, right? Am I on that at all?

51:24 Kelly Hu No, I've crossed you out.

51:26 Adam You want your drugs back? Listen, we'll both get hopped up, we'll get it on. We won't even remember. It would be awesome. Who knows? Maybe we did it already. We don't know.

51:38 Kelly Hu That's why you're crossed off the list, Adam.

51:40 Drew Wow. It's done. Done.

51:44 Adam I admire you. You have a list as well.

51:46 Kelly Hu I do. I have a list. An actual list in my pumpkin.

51:49 Adam What's on it?

51:50 Kelly Hu I want to take, I want to do a balloon safari in Africa.

51:55 Drew Is there such a thing?

51:56 Kelly Hu Yes. Like you do a safari by air balloon.

51:59 Drew There's such a thing.

51:59 Kelly Hu Yes.

52:00 Drew Yes. Yes.

52:00 Kelly Hu Yes. Yeah. I want to swim with whales.

52:03 Drew Next?

52:04 Kelly Hu Yeah.

52:05 Drew What kind of whales? That feel like killer whales or?

52:06 Kelly Hu No, no, not killer whales.

52:08 Adam Swim with whales.

52:09 Kelly Hu Swim with whales. What else? Oh, I did this December two years, two Christmas ago. I went to Machu Picchu. I hiked the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu. Yeah.

52:22 Adam Wow. That's something.

52:23 Kelly Hu What else do I have on my list? Hang gliding. I want to do hang gliding.

52:28 Adam Wow.

52:28 Kelly Hu Kind of scary.

52:29 Adam Yeah. Why don't you combine the hang gliding with the balloon thing over over Africa?

52:35 Kelly Hu Yeah. And then I end up landing in like some patch of forest. Yeah, exactly.

52:40 Adam Compound fracture, the femur and the hyenas are coming around. It's getting dark.

52:44 Kelly Hu Safe.

52:45 Adam Yeah. Wow. Ambitious. What else? Anything good?

52:48 Drew Any film you would perform with somebody or work with somebody?

52:51 Kelly Hu No, because that kind of stuff you can't control.

52:54 Drew Come on.

52:55 Kelly Hu All this stuff on my list is stuff that I can actually do if I make the time to do it.

53:00 Adam Drew, this is not a career list. This is a life list.

53:04 Drew How dare me for thinking that?

53:05 Adam Well, see, that's where you're at, man. You're the man.

53:08 Kelly Hu Yeah. And simple stuff like wanting to paint a picture. I want to paint something that I actually like. I haven't started the painting process. All right.

53:16 Adam And these are all...

53:16 Kelly Hu I have like, you know, I can do that when I'm old. I want to do all the young stuff.

53:19 Adam On your Palm Pilot.

53:20 Kelly Hu Yeah. I want to run a marathon, which I'm going to I've actually started training for.

53:24 Adam Okay.

53:25 Kelly Hu Which one? Kind of hard with the asthma, but I can do it. Which one?

53:28 Adam LA. 2040.

53:29 Kelly Hu No, no, no. I want to do Hawaii.

53:31 Adam Hawaii.

53:31 Kelly Hu Yeah. I don't want to be able to make it some kind of benefit for some charity. All right.

53:37 Adam Well, you got a list.

53:38 Kelly Hu Yeah, I got a list. I think people should have actual lists that they can cross out.

53:42 Adam All right. Well, these guys had a list. And we were on their list.

53:47 Kelly Hu That's awesome.

53:47 Adam Drew, you got a list?

53:49 Drew No, but I'll make one, though.

53:50 Adam I got some lists. I got some things on my list, as you know. I would like to have to jump into a body of water with a knife in my mouth, you know, for a reason, like you actually dive off a bridge, you know, to kill a jellyfish with a knife in my mouth.

54:04 Drew To get some seaweed off somebody, get them loose.

54:07 Adam Whatever. I would like to, while I'm underwater, I would like to do that thing where I signal a guy with the eye thing, tink, tink, you know, look at my eye, and then I point to watch, like some.

54:16 Kelly Hu Like scuba diving.

54:16 Adam Underwater.

54:17 Drew Your pressure gauge, your pressure gauge.

54:18 Adam Yeah, underwater signaling.

54:20 Caller Yeah.

54:21 Kelly Hu So you don't want to actually be certified for that. You just want to be able to go through the signaling process.

54:25 Drew I mean, it has to be a mean. I would like to have registered hands.

54:28 Adam Hands registered somewhere. I find a small county in Nevada, and have myself registered as weapon.

54:33 Drew Hands.

54:34 Adam Hands. Just my hands. I would like to be removed from a casino for winning.

54:38 Drew Yes.

54:38 Adam He's counting cards. This guy's a card genius. He's winning too much. I would like a cape removed from me on stage. And again, here's the thing. We can't just stage these things. I have to be doing something.

54:51 Drew Yes. It has to be purposeful.

54:54 Adam It has to be James Brown. Whatever it is, I'm out there and somebody pulls my cape off. My squire scurries off with the cape.

55:03 Drew Big red satin underwear.

55:04 Kelly Hu And your underwear too.

55:06 Adam How dare you?

55:06 Drew How dare you attack my list? She's laughing at your list.

55:09 This is my list.

55:10 Drew You didn't laugh at your balloon safari.

55:11 Kelly Hu I think it's beautiful. I didn't. Great. What an imagination.

55:16 Adam How would you like it if I took that knife I was going to dive in the river with and stabbed your balloon?

55:22 Kelly Hu My balloon wouldn't be in the river.

55:24 Adam I'll take the knife. I'll take it to Africa and stab your balloon.

55:28 Drew Is there anything on your list that involves quicksand?

55:30 Adam I would like to be. I'd like to save someone.

55:33 Drew Oh, that's right.

55:34 Adam With a stick. Okay.

55:35 Kelly Hu But then would you push them in first, wait till they're like almost dead and then save them?

55:39 Adam See, that's the whole thing about my list. I can't stage it. I need to have it.

55:43 Drew Kelly, nearly everybody falls in quicksand at some time. So, these are stand by a quicksand.

55:47 Kelly Hu Right. It just happened to me last week.

55:49 Drew Right. Right.

55:49 Adam Yeah.

55:50 Kelly Hu As a matter of fact.

55:51 Adam I'm trying to think. I would like to, I'm trying to think of what else. Oh, I like to blow myself.

55:57 Caller Yeah.

55:59 Adam That's on there twice. That's two times.

56:01 Kelly Hu With a vacuum.

56:02 Drew Let's hear this song.

56:03 Caller Two times.

56:03 Drew No, he's done that. That's awful.

56:05 Adam No, shot back. Shot back was checked off in high school.

56:08 Caller Ouch.

56:09 Adam No.

56:10 Drew How dare you? Wow. She's really making fun of you, Adam. Let's hear the song. Come on. Let's hear this. You keep going.

56:15 Kelly Hu Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's hear the song.

56:16 Adam So what is this? Tell us about this song.

56:19 Kelly Hu This song was actually written by Jason Miller of Godhead. He brought a bunch of these artists together, including Brian McKnight, Rosalind Sanchez, Maya, Nate Dogg.

56:31 Drew Is this for sale?

56:31 Kelly Hu Phoebe Dobson. Yes, it is. It's on sale online at tsunamireliefsong.com or.org, it doesn't matter. And also on iTunes. It's a little bit hard to find it on iTunes. I tried to go on and there's like three of these forever in our hearts songs.

56:48 Adam All right. So this the proceeds are going to a very worthy cause.

56:53 Kelly Hu Yes, it actually goes to musicforrelief.org, which also helps the tsunami victims.

57:00 Adam All right. You ready? Here we go. Yep, it is Loveline, Kelly Hu, in here tonight. That's a little something she was involved with, just a little background singing for a worthy cause. Tsunami Relief, buy that CD. When he goes to some Tsunami Relief, I saw the interview with Petra, the hot model who was caught up.

1:01:35 Drew Oh yeah, yeah.

1:01:35 Kelly Hu Oh, I heard, wow.

1:01:36 Drew Her husband had been pulled away.

1:01:37 Adam It wasn't her husband, it was her photographer, her boyfriend. I tell you, no one gets tail like this, photographers, chefs and photographers.

1:01:45 Kelly Hu Well, in New York, no, no, it's producers in LA who get it all right from all the hot girls who want to be actors. And in New York, for all the girls who want to be models, all the guys say that they're photographers.

1:01:56 Adam Yeah.

1:01:56 Kelly Hu Yeah.

1:01:57 Adam It's a great gig. I mean, this guy seemed like a good guy in everything. They were like, they were leaving, they were packing, they were going, they were going, you know, rushing to the airport and the thing. He was like in the bathroom and she was getting ready and they just, just blew right through the room and sucked everyone all over the place and he just got like sucked out to sea and she like clung to a tree. This crazy pelvis smashed in ten places.

1:02:25 Kelly Hu But in a bottom thoroughly, I didn't know you had that many bones in your pelvis.

1:02:30 Adam Well, the pelvis got broken into multiple pieces. Wow. Well, yeah, everything's on the bottom floor cause there are all these just sort of bungalows that are out on the beach and these, seeing these, they had footage of the tide receding and people playing out, heading out into it and stuff.

1:02:49 Kelly Hu Oh my goodness.

1:02:51 Adam I would never, I would do the same thing. If I was on the beach and the tide started rolling in and fish started flopping around, I'd just go chasing.

1:02:56 Kelly Hu I see growing up in Hawaii, you know not to do that. You know about this is an army. I remember my mom warning me as a kid, if you see the tide receding and you know all of a sudden you can see the fissure, you know, coral at the bottom to run for higher ground.

1:03:08 Drew Isn't that interesting?

1:03:09 Kelly Hu Yeah. Yeah. And we have, you know, like tsunami alerts, these horns that go off every month.

1:03:14 Adam Yeah.

1:03:15 Kelly Hu Yeah.

1:03:15 Adam No, I did the same thing in North Hollywood. You replace tsunami with hobo. And the same thing, like a guy who smells of fortified wine and he looks like he's going to cut you. Start running. Start running.

1:03:27 Yeah, right.

1:03:28 Adam That's how it worked. Yeah, hobo relief.

1:03:31 Kelly Hu It all depends on where you come from.

1:03:32 Yeah.

1:03:34 Adam You know, you're growing up in a good place, ironically, when you have the when the tsunami relief horn blows, when the tsunami warning horn blows, like it was an actual horn or just a guy in a conch.

1:03:49 Kelly Hu No, and it's on TV as well. Like all of the the they test the televisions as well.

1:03:55 Drew Tsunamis.

1:03:56 Kelly Hu Well, when they do the horns and they they they the horns are blowing. You can hear them in the distance.

1:04:01 Drew It's like an error.

1:04:02 Kelly Hu Televisions. You know, all the channels, well, all the network channels are they have like a special symbol that they show. And it's like this is just a warning. But if you know, if it was a real error, it signals, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:04:14 Adam And we have the three stage smog alert. Yeah, that's our version of that.

1:04:18 Drew North Hollywood.

1:04:19 Adam Yeah. Let me know. Yeah. Recess is going to be indoors today, folks. We got a smog alert. Fantastic. So romantic. Wow. Back on it. Very romantic. Dangerous, but romantic. All right. Let's talk to Ray, who's 18, right?

1:04:36 Caller Yes.

1:04:37 Adam Oh, female, right? What's happening?

1:04:39 Caller Um, OK, I'll start at the beginning. OK, like two weeks ago, me and my boyfriend, we were having sex by the condom. Yeah, he was like, pull out every time. But, um, last Tuesday. He didn't. And so I got the morning after pill on Thursday and I took it.

1:05:00 Drew Great. Good girl.

1:05:02 Caller And I was supposed to get my period Sunday, but I and I started the patch on Sunday. I got birth control.

1:05:08 Drew Great. Smart girl. Period.

1:05:11 Caller And I feel really like crappy.

1:05:13 Drew Well, the feeling crappy. Yeah. You're going to feel kind of tired and bloated from starting the pill up. Don't worry about not having your period.

1:05:19 Caller You'll have it next time around.

1:05:21 Drew What did I say? Pill?

1:05:22 Kelly Hu Yeah, you said patch.

1:05:23 Drew Same same thing. But you'll have your period next time around. Don't worry about it this time.

1:05:28 Caller Like, I don't know, because we were having sex for like two weeks without a condom.

1:05:32 Drew Yeah. Oh, you think you might be pregnant? Well, certainly get a go ahead and get a pregnancy test. Being on the pill will not harm the child if you are pregnant.

1:05:41 Kelly Hu I had a friend that actually got pregnant when she was on the pill.

1:05:43 Drew It happens occasionally.

1:05:44 Kelly Hu She didn't know for like four months. She's a big girl.

1:05:47 Adam Oh really? Yeah.

1:05:48 Yeah.

1:05:50 Caller Yeah.

1:05:51 Adam Yeah. She's not a who. She's a where. It can be a when.

1:05:57 Caller He didn't like come in near anything.

1:05:59 Adam All right.

1:06:00 Drew Take a pregnancy test in about a week.

1:06:02 Adam Take an IQ test too while you're there.

1:06:04 Drew Keep going with the patch. That's great.

1:06:06 Kelly Hu Even if they say they haven't, they don't even know if they have or not.

1:06:10 Drew That's correct.

1:06:11 Adam Yeah. You wouldn't know.

1:06:13 Kelly Hu Hope is not a contraceptive.

1:06:15 Adam Thank you. Thank you. No, you just don't know. All right. What's up, baby? What? I mean, we appreciate you getting on the patch and everything but all this unprotected sex with your boyfriend.

1:06:27 Caller Yeah.

1:06:28 Adam Yeah. You sound really confused.

1:06:31 Caller What do you mean?

1:06:32 Adam I mean, you sound sort of cry. You sound sort of troubled and confused.

1:06:37 Kelly Hu She's worried that she's pregnant.

1:06:38 Adam No, I just mean in life. What are you doing? Junior college?

1:06:42 Drew Yep.

1:06:44 Adam Shocking.

1:06:45 Caller No, I graduated high school early. I'm smart.

1:06:49 Drew Yeah, but you're worried about the junior college. Yeah.

1:06:52 Adam How about the respite? 125 times you had unprotected sex with your boyfriend and promised to pull out.

1:06:57 Caller It was more like four.

1:07:00 Adam Okay. And why did you graduate high school early?

1:07:04 Caller Because I finished everything.

1:07:07 Drew She finished high school early because she finished everything.

1:07:09 Adam Oh, because she finished things. She finished everything. I didn't know he would finish things.

1:07:14 Drew She finished because she finished.

1:07:15 Adam I see. This is junior college material, if I've ever heard it. Finishing high school early so that you can head to junior college is like you just chomping down your last meal so you can hurry up and get to the gala. Like just at least enjoy or go or chomp down your last meal. Skip the gala. Then hop the wall.

1:07:39 Drew Yeah.

1:07:40 Adam But finishing high school early just to go to junior college, what the hell kind of plan is that? You'll be in junior college well in your thirties and all your classmates who you left the semester early from will have graduated from Ivy League schools. Ray, what's going on? Why did you leave high school early?

1:07:57 Caller No, because I finished all my classes early and...

1:08:02 Drew Adam, you got that? You're taking notes? Here we go, here we go.

1:08:06 Adam So I heard she hadn't completed her classes.

1:08:09 Drew No, she finished high school early because...

1:08:12 Adam She finished her classes early?

1:08:13 Drew There you go.

1:08:14 Adam All right.

1:08:15 Kelly Hu So what would you guys suggest, though, that if she had gotten all her credits done early?

1:08:20 Drew Go to college.

1:08:22 Kelly Hu Go to regular college as opposed to junior college. But isn't junior college a lot cheaper? What if she's paying for this herself?

1:08:28 Adam Look, it's like saying, well, she can't afford filet mignon. She'll just eat dirt. That's free. It's free. Oh, you're going...

1:08:37 Kelly Hu So you're saying that not even going to college is better than going to junior college?

1:08:41 Adam You do not... Chris, hold your ears, buddy. You do nothing at junior college. Here's... And please take this in spirit. I don't know.

1:08:48 Kelly Hu I've never been to junior college.

1:08:49 Adam Here's the spirit. That's right. That's right. Your parents will kill themselves if you went to junior college. Let me explain. The Chinese half of the family would kill themselves. Hawaiian side's so drunk, they don't even know what's going on. They're talking to a con for a piece of yarn on it. It's a telephone. Here's my point. Here's who can go to junior college. People that want to be nurses can go to junior college, and people from other countries who come here to re-locate. White people go to junior college and if any other color who live out here, who just think they're going from high school to junior college, you're just kidding themselves. They're not going anywhere.

1:09:23 Kelly Hu Can't you go there for credits and transfer them and stuff?

1:09:26 Adam Hypothetically, you can't.

1:09:28 Kelly Hu Right.

1:09:28 Adam Theoretically, it's never actually happened. But in theory, you can actually go there, get some credits and transfer to a four-year university.

1:09:34 Kelly Hu Okay. So Adam, what does this make me? I got kicked out of junior college.

1:09:38 Adam Oh, that's well, she was high as a kite and starting fights.

1:09:42 Drew Yeah, you're right. Yeah. Let a flip of the administration building a fire.

1:09:46 Kelly Hu I was actually given a letter saying that I was not allowed to return because I was not a serious student. Well, because I kept dropping out because I was a working actress.

1:09:54 Adam Yeah. Where'd you go?

1:09:56 Kelly Hu See you in a Monica.

1:09:57 Adam Yeah. See you. That's the whole thing. You're beautiful. You're talented. You're smart. You don't waste your time.

1:10:03 Kelly Hu No waste my time at college.

1:10:05 Drew Let's take a break.

1:10:06 Adam Stop saying college. Junior college.

1:10:09 Drew OK. Let's take a break.

1:10:10 Adam Now hold on. Ray.

1:10:12 Caller Yes.

1:10:13 Adam All right. So what's your plan? And when people that get out of high school early just to me, it just means they didn't have any friends and they didn't get along too well. Yeah.

1:10:23 Caller I'm kind of just doing the junior college to make my parents happy. But starting in next semester, I'm planning on going to Santa Monica.

1:10:32 Adam Junior college.

1:10:34 Kelly Hu Yeah, but they have more transfers out of Santa Monica than any other junior college.

1:10:39 Adam Ray's argument is, is I had to leave high school early because I'm such a bright bulb. I just finished everything up. We just asked her what the junior college plan was. She explained that she was going to go to another junior college.

1:10:50 Drew You're going to transfer out of this junior college to go to another junior college.

1:10:53 Adam There you go. That's a nice lateral move.

1:10:56 Kelly Hu Is this a bright bulb view? She just needs to figure out what she wants to do with her life. Isn't that what college is for?

1:11:02 Adam Yeah. That's what four-year college is for. Junior college is just figure out how to get the futon folded out at your parents' house. I know. People are tired of me harping about it, but it ruins lives. I know this sounds incredibly negative. It gives people who need to get to work, don't get to get to work because they get to buy themselves 10 years of floating around in this fairy tale ether known as junior college. Thank you. Chris, unplug your ears now. Would you please?

1:11:31 Drew I'm still looking for-

1:11:32 Adam We got to take a break, bro.

1:11:33 Drew Women with sexual dysfunction from antidepressants, birth control pills, medication, particularly like DepoShot, that kind of thing, dryness, decreased libido. I'm looking for women for television. Kelly, who will be joining you on that show?

1:11:44 Adam We'll take a break. Be right back. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. And tonight, our guest, Kelly Hu.

1:12:01 Drew Kelly, will you be on my television program and talk about the dysfunction you've had from the birth control pills and stuff?

1:12:06 Kelly Hu Is it on television? I don't know if I can do that.

1:12:09 Drew And then with all the addictive stuff you've been taking and how that screws you up and makes it difficult to function.

1:12:14 Kelly Hu And low sex drive?

1:12:15 Caller Yeah. Uh oh.

1:12:17 Drew Kelly, I'm signing you in.

1:12:19 Kelly Hu Uh no.

1:12:19 Drew Oh, come on. You say it on the radio. There was a mag. It's cable TV.

1:12:24 Kelly Hu I'm just kidding. No, I'm serious about the no part.

1:12:27 Adam But she's kidding about the low sex drive?

1:12:29 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I see.

1:12:30 Adam Sure. Ice princess.

1:12:32 Kelly Hu I date a rocker. You think I can have a low sex drive?

1:12:35 Adam Really?

1:12:35 Kelly Hu Yeah.

1:12:36 Adam Who do you date?

1:12:37 Kelly Hu I date a guy in a band. His name is Mitch Allen.

1:12:40 Adam Mitch Allen in the Detroit Wheels.

1:12:43 Kelly Hu What?

1:12:44 Adam Mitch Ryder. Yeah. Mitch Allen. What's he do? What band's he in?

1:12:50 Kelly Hu He's in a band called SR-71.

1:12:52 Adam Oh, one of the Blackbirds.

1:12:54 Kelly Hu Yeah.

1:12:54 Adam Greatest plane ever devised.

1:12:56 Kelly Hu Yeah, apparently. Oh, that's a band after it.

1:13:00 Adam No, that's smart because he could have named it. Oh, man, they had like mosquitoes made out of wood. They had those old biplanes and all that stuff. SR-71, baddest ass plane ever created on the planet.

1:13:16 Kelly Hu I think he knew that.

1:13:17 Adam Yeah, and no guns, nothing, just cameras.

1:13:22 Kelly Hu Oh, really? Interesting.

1:13:24 Adam Yeah, people think the SR-71 is because it's so badass looking. I mean, it looks like it's like if a great white shark was a vegetarian, it'd be like, what? Look, it's a killing machine. Not just finding Nemo. Yeah, it is SR-71's baddest-ass plane ever created.

1:13:42 Drew Look that up, SR-71.

1:13:44 Kelly Hu Are you gonna look up my boyfriend?

1:13:45 Drew No, I want to see the plane.

1:13:46 Kelly Hu Oh, the plane.

1:13:48 Adam You know what the SR-71 looks like.

1:13:49 Drew I think I do, I want to double check.

1:13:50 Adam It's a Blackbird, it's a Lockheed.

1:13:52 Kelly Hu It's cool.

1:13:53 Adam Point is, his plane flies over 3,000, not 3,000, 2,500 miles an hour.

1:13:58 Drew It's like a missile plane, sorta.

1:14:00 Adam Yeah, the whole deal with the SR-71, and then we get right back to the phones. SR-71 flies at over Mach 3.

1:14:09 Drew Remember the X-15?

1:14:11 Adam Yeah.

1:14:11 Drew It was kinda like that, right?

1:14:12 Adam Well, that's a rocket. That was a rock, experimental rocket. If you get the X in front of it, it's experimental. And those things flew, those things flew about 7,000 miles an hour. Really? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Well, because they were rocket powered and they flew at the edge of the atmosphere where there was no drag. Oh, people don't realize, you know, people, you know, when you think about fighter jets flying, you know, eight, 900 miles an hour, mock one point, whatever, we had stuff in the sixties that flew 7,000 miles an hour. It's incredible stuff.

1:14:46 Kelly Hu But like, what happens to your face at that?

1:14:49 Adam It's melt. It's pulled back. Yeah.

1:14:52 Kelly Hu Facelift.

1:14:53 Adam No, it actually goes the other way. You look like Larry Flint.

1:14:56 Kelly Hu It's weird.

1:14:56 Adam It's a sag. It's weird. Yeah. It's real paralysis sets in. No. OK. So here's the point. SR-71 flies 2,500 miles an hour. Now, the thing is, is there's not a gun. There's not a BB gun on the plane. It's just cameras. And the full deal was to have to fly over the Soviet Union and take reconnaissance pictures because we didn't have satellites and we needed a plane that could fly so high and so fast that the rockets, the missiles, the surface-to-air missiles couldn't hit it.

1:15:28 Kelly Hu So they're not even flying anymore though, right?

1:15:31 Adam They flew them for a long time and they just retired them recently, but they set all the airspeed records. Drew, you see it? There you go, buddy.

1:15:39 Kelly Hu Pretty cool, huh?

1:15:40 Adam The bitchiness. It doesn't mean the band's good, but it just means...

1:15:43 Kelly Hu Hey, the band is good.

1:15:44 Adam All right.

1:15:45 Kelly Hu Come on.

1:15:46 Adam Well, at least they picked a good plane.

1:15:49 Kelly Hu He's smart enough to do that.

1:15:50 Adam Smart, yeah.

1:15:53 Drew Yeah. They look too modern to be retired.

1:15:55 Kelly Hu Right?

1:15:55 Adam They were built in the 60s.

1:15:57 Drew SR-71? Yeah.

1:15:58 Adam Yeah.

1:15:58 Drew Really?

1:15:59 Adam Wow. Early 60s. And then they had a longevity. And they never...

1:16:03 Drew We just boulder with our technology and the things we built are in this industry?

1:16:08 Adam I'll tell you this. I think computers have made things crappy looking. How? What do you mean? Because the computer, it used to be that everything was just shaped in the air in the air tunnel, in the wind tunnel. Everything was just shaped by, look, if you wanted something to go fast, you wouldn't put a big flat front end on it. You would have it pointy like a bullet.

1:16:31 Drew It's also a sort of based on man's intuition. They, what should a big fast plane look like? They test that in the wind tunnel.

1:16:39 Adam Yeah.

1:16:39 Drew Now what does the computer tell us it should be?

1:16:40 Adam Computer makes things a little funky. I'll tell you, I'll give you an example. Formula One cars looked better 10 years ago than they do now. Now they got weird wings and weird aerodynamics and ends up, they end up looking funky. And planes.

1:16:52 Drew It's not as appealing, not as aesthetic.

1:16:54 Adam A little funky too.

1:16:55 Drew Flies better, not as aesthetic.

1:16:56 Adam That's right. Yeah, it's the computer stuff that does it.

1:16:59 Kelly Hu You know, Adam, you're pretty smart for a guy who went to junior college.

1:17:02 Adam Yeah.

1:17:02 Drew No, no, he didn't go to junior college.

1:17:04 Kelly Hu I did.

1:17:04 Adam I tried.

1:17:05 Drew He got kicked out of junior college. Like you.

1:17:06 Kelly Hu Like me.

1:17:07 Adam See? I just left. I did get some academic probation, but eventually I just sort of escaped. Anna?

1:17:15 Drew Asleep.

1:17:16 Adam She didn't like my conversation about the SR-71. Most 15 year old chicks from Missouri are positively riveted when I talk about mock numbers.

1:17:25 Drew Anna? She's sleeping. The other great thing about 15 year olds from Missouri is you can't hear them sleep.

1:17:31 Oh really?

1:17:31 Adam Yeah, they're quiet. Yeah. SR-71, pardon me. Gordon?

1:17:35 Yeah.

1:17:36 Adam You're 22?

1:17:38 Caller Yeah.

1:17:38 Adam What's up?

1:17:40 Caller Well, about the, me and my ex-dience, they were together about five years or so. We split up about six months ago and she had another boyfriend for a while and then they split up again and I haven't really been going out and doing anything and I just, I don't know if I should go out and find somebody else or I feel like she's the one for me. Yeah. So I hang out.

1:18:01 Adam Well, why'd you guys split up then?

1:18:03 Caller We were having money problems. I didn't have a very good job.

1:18:07 Drew Do you have a different job now?

1:18:09 Caller Yeah. Yeah, I got a really good job now. I moved away. I live about 70 miles from her house.

1:18:15 Adam Well, did she dump you because you weren't bringing home the bacon?

1:18:19 Caller Not necessarily for that. I mean, there was a lot of different other reasons. I mean-

1:18:22 Adam Who dumped you?

1:18:25 Caller She broke up with me.

1:18:26 Drew Does she want to get back?

1:18:28 Caller Well, she calls me all the time still and she lets me know where she's at all the time.

1:18:33 Drew Give us a list of some of the things that were going to go wrong other than the money thing.

1:18:37 Caller I wouldn't help out. I put the- Keep going.

1:18:39 Drew Come on. Give me a few things.

1:18:41 Caller Go ahead.

1:18:44 Caller I'd go out and party and she'd stay home and all this stuff. She didn't, you know, she wasn't much of a partier. Now she's a partier and I'm not. I moved down here to Tulsa and I don't know-

1:18:57 Drew All right.

1:18:57 Adam Well, listen-

1:18:59 Kelly Hu How old is he?

1:19:00 Drew 22.

1:19:01 Kelly Hu 22.

1:19:02 Adam Yeah. I've never heard of too many success stories of people in their young, early 20s breaking up, getting back together. They just break up again.

1:19:12 Drew Early 20s.

1:19:13 Adam Early 20s.

1:19:14 Kelly Hu I mean, they were together for five years.

1:19:16 Drew Yeah.

1:19:17 Kelly Hu Yeah, that's a long time.

1:19:18 Drew That's not so good though, because that's not good. I mean, they started at 16 or something.

1:19:21 Kelly Hu My advice to you would be to have other life experiences.

1:19:25 Drew That's what we agree with.

1:19:25 Adam Yeah.

1:19:26 Kelly Hu You are so young and I know that you feel like this is the love of your life, but at 22 years old, there are going to be other loves, believe me.

1:19:34 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah, and you're not, you know, originally when I fell in love with the picture of the chick on the raft box.

1:19:42 Kelly Hu Raft?

1:19:43 Adam Yeah, it was a raft box.

1:19:45 Drew Back in the day, back in the day is when we get a picture.

1:19:48 Kelly Hu A raft? What do you mean raft? As in the floating thing?

1:19:50 Adam Yes, you who comes from an island should be familiar. You who?

1:19:55 Caller Was she on the box?

1:19:57 Adam She was on the box.

1:19:58 Kelly Hu In a bikini.

1:19:59 Drew Yeah.

1:19:59 Kelly Hu I get it, like modeling with the raft.

1:20:02 Adam You don't put like a mechanics jumpsuit on and get on a raft and model, you put a bikini on.

1:20:06 Kelly Hu No, you sell it with sex.

1:20:07 Drew And in 1960 or whatever it was. What else would a guy get?

1:20:12 Adam 1970. With sex. Listen, here's Drew constantly trying to make me as old and as cheap as he is. Here's the deal. I didn't think I'd ever love again.

1:20:26 Drew And then you found Patty Farinelli.

1:20:28 Adam And then I found, yeah, this 1978, 79. Yeah, Patty Farinelli. Right. There I fell in love again. Playmate.

1:20:37 Kelly Hu Oh. Is that not your wife or anything? No, no.

1:20:40 Adam But I was able to love again.

1:20:42 Drew At 14.

1:20:43 Kelly Hu Oh, I see. Okay, I get it. Yes.

1:20:46 Adam Yeah. All right.

1:20:47 Kelly Hu Point taken.

1:20:48 Drew Gangle came along. I know it's another one.

1:20:50 Adam Gig Gangle. Yeah, she was hot, too. She was like 70, 79, 80. Yeah.

1:20:55 Drew All right.

1:20:55 Adam That's Drew's lady, by the way. So the point is, is, look, you break up, you're with someone for five years, you break up for a reason, just get away from it. And you only want to get back together with her because you can't get anything outside. And that's not a reason.

1:21:10 Drew He's afraid. Kelly says, get some more life experience. Come on. Here we go. Break it down. Yeah.

1:21:14 Kelly Hu He's scared that he's never going to find anybody who's going to love him as much as this girl. No, he can't. He can't.

1:21:20 Adam Here's the thing. He's 22. He's calling from Tulsa. He can't pull any tail down. He wants to go back to a familiar place.

1:21:27 Kelly Hu Well, he says he hasn't been going out and trying.

1:21:29 Adam Gordon.

1:21:30 Caller Yeah.

1:21:31 Adam What do you do for a living?

1:21:33 Caller I build commercial oil pumps.

1:21:35 Drew What?

1:21:36 Kelly Hu Commercial oil pumps.

1:21:37 Caller Submersible oil pumps.

1:21:39 Kelly Hu Oh. Submersible oil pumps.

1:21:41 Adam Submersible oil pumps.

1:21:43 Kelly Hu Right.

1:21:44 Adam Okay. And I'm guessing you don't work with a ton of hot chicks, right?

1:21:50 Caller No. No.

1:21:51 Adam No.

1:21:52 Drew Let me think for a second. No.

1:21:55 Caller Yeah.

1:21:56 Adam There's a couple of ex-playmates, but no, by and large, mostly guys. And where do you meet women?

1:22:04 Caller Um, I don't. I haven't been going out.

1:22:07 Drew I just stopped with I don't.

1:22:09 Adam You're just, you're dry. You don't got anything going on. And of course you're thinking about your last hot meal. You got to get something going. I'm telling you, the percentage of people, and I hate to say, but guys especially, who say, you know, their tune is, is, yeah, no, I mean, I love her. We have a history. I believe we were meant to be together. If these guys were in a successful rock band, you think they would change your story that evening?

1:22:37 Drew Right.

1:22:37 Adam It's just going out on tour, nailing everything that moved.

1:22:40 Drew Right.

1:22:41 Adam It is-

1:22:41 Drew You're making Kelly nervous.

1:22:42 Kelly Hu What are you saying?

1:22:44 Adam SR-71 is playing in some Chicks' Hangar.

1:22:47 Caller Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

1:22:48 Adam Believe you me, I know these guys work. No, here's what I'm saying. So much of what young people, and this is how you think in your late teens, your early 20s, so much of that sort of love or I can't live without or we were meant to be together, soulmate crap, it's all based on your own desperation. If everything, oh, believe me, if you just invented something or making money hand over fist and traveling, you wouldn't have this. Why do you think really good looking celebrity guys never get into this? Why is it? They date the hottest women in the world, they fall in love, they break up, pow, they're immediately out with the second hottest chick in the world.

1:23:27 Kelly Hu Because they're publicists, hooks them up.

1:23:29 Adam That's right. But it is so much easier to rebound. No, it's desperate. You can't get anything going.

1:23:35 Drew It's marketplace.

1:23:36 Adam Marketplace forces. Yes. Sad to say, but this is how males think and human beings think. All right. Kelly, what do you want to do, Drew? Break.

1:23:44 Drew Why?

1:23:44 Adam You got to do something?

1:23:45 Drew No, no. It's time for break. I want to avoid the thing where you have the four-minute deal at the end. All right.

1:23:50 Adam I'll buy that. Kelly Hu here. We'll take a quick break. Be right back after this. Hey, loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, Kelly Who in studio tonight. Are they doing a Scorpion King 3?

1:24:33 Kelly Hu There was no 2.

1:24:34 Adam There was no 2?

1:24:37 Kelly Hu There is no Scorpion King 3.

1:24:38 Adam No, I'm thinking of the mummy.

1:24:40 Drew Yeah.

1:24:41 Adam Scorpion King was an amazingly successful film, was it not?

1:24:46 Kelly Hu I thought so.

1:24:47 Adam They made a ton of money.

1:24:48 Kelly Hu I didn't get naked for nothing, right?

1:24:49 Yeah.

1:24:52 Kelly Hu No, I don't know why they're not doing a second one. Everyone always asks me that.

1:24:57 Adam Well, first off, Hollywood rarely walks away from this kind of money, but especially in a genre that's sort of tailor-made for a sequel. Right. Why wouldn't you do it? I mean, you get the rock going over there, people can pick up what he's putting down.

1:25:13 Kelly Hu Maybe they didn't make a deal with him.

1:25:14 Adam Yeah.

1:25:14 Drew I was saying maybe he seems to go in a different direction.

1:25:17 Adam Yeah.

1:25:18 Kelly Hu I don't know.

1:25:18 Adam Gay direction. Oh, yeah. He's picking up what the Ace is putting down. All right. Let's, Drew, do your plug.

1:25:26 Drew Thank you. I really need some women who've had problems with their sexual functioning, dryness, pain with intercourse, not wanting to have sex, for medication or birth control. Give us a call. I need to put you on my television.

1:25:37 Kelly Hu Or what about if you've had babies, too many kids?

1:25:40 Drew We actually will be looking for that, too. You can call in for that today if you've had your drop in your sex drive after babies.

1:25:45 Yeah.

1:25:45 Drew Yeah.

1:25:46 Kelly Hu Everybody does, right?

1:25:48 Hello.

1:25:50 Drew 22.

1:25:52 Adam What's up?

1:25:54 Drew You want to respond to that? Doesn't...

1:25:56 Kelly Hu What is that whisper?

1:25:58 I'm sorry. I'm at work. I'm calling because I have an overbite and I was going to get braces a long time ago, but I was convinced that it somehow helped me with my oral sex technique.

1:26:12 Adam That's a hell of an orthodontist.

1:26:15 Drew The orthodontist convinced you of that or...

1:26:18 No, I actually tried to call the dentist one day, but they hung up on me when I asked. But it's really serious. I would like to know if at all this is helping me or is it just in my head?

1:26:30 Drew It's in your head. It's in your head.

1:26:34 Kelly Hu If you pulled all your teeth out and you were just gums, that would help, right?

1:26:38 Adam Yeah.

1:26:39 Drew I think it's still in her head.

1:26:42 Adam I agree with Kelly, though. You should pull your teeth out. If you're going to get serious about oral.

1:26:46 Drew Tess, you want a medication?

1:26:50 Caller No, I'm not working.

1:26:50 Drew No medication.

1:26:51 Kelly Hu She's at work.

1:26:52 Drew No medication.

1:26:53 Caller I don't want anybody to hear what I'm talking about.

1:26:54 Drew Yeah, but this kind of thinking is a little.

1:26:59 Caller Because I have an overbite and I think that it helps me with oral surgery to take on more medication.

1:27:04 Kelly Hu Why are you planning to do this for a profession or something?

1:27:07 Caller No, but I believe that you should be good at everything that you do.

1:27:11 Adam Yeah, what are you doing for a living?

1:27:14 Caller What?

1:27:15 Adam What are you doing for a living?

1:27:16 Kelly Hu Talking on the phone to us.

1:27:18 Caller I'm a data entry operator.

1:27:20 Adam All right, what's that bringing you down an hour?

1:27:24 Caller I make like $13 an hour.

1:27:26 Adam All right, not bad, but you can do better. So you just apply that same zest for oral sex and those decrees you make about being better at everything you do and you apply them to work.

1:27:38 Kelly Hu But you know what, Adam, it's not all about money. I mean, what if she really does just get pleasure of giving good sex?

1:27:45 Drew Let's think about it this way, Tess. Do you ever hear men or anybody else for that matter talking about mouth structure having an effect on oral sex in the male?

1:27:54 Kelly Hu I don't think a guy really cares.

1:27:56 Drew No, he doesn't. No, he does not. And he certainly doesn't care about an overbite.

1:28:00 Adam Uh-uh. My deviated septum, though, does hold me back orally.

1:28:04 Drew That gets in the way. You get your face, as you say.

1:28:07 Caller Yeah, yeah.

1:28:08 Adam It's what it sounds like.

1:28:09 Kelly Hu You can't breathe through your nose.

1:28:10 Drew I know. Kelly has a problem too. She can appreciate. What is your flow nose? Do you have flow nose? Yes.

1:28:16 Kelly Hu Well, you know what? I stopped taking flow nose, but I think I'm going to start again.

1:28:19 Drew See? I knew that. How did I know that?

1:28:20 Kelly Hu Yeah.

1:28:21 Adam Here's what it sounds like. Sounds like. I have to come up. I'm like an abalone diver. Just pop up every once in a while like an otter. Literally, literally. Yeah, literally.

1:28:37 Caller Back to the abalone.

1:28:38 Adam That's right. And I just go down and, you know, thank God I can hold my breath for two, three minutes, but then I got to pop up to the surface.

1:28:44 Kelly Hu That is such a turn on. You don't even know.

1:28:47 Adam Yeah.

1:28:47 Kelly Hu Oh, my God.

1:28:48 Drew Yeah.

1:28:48 Kelly Hu I'm so excited right now.

1:28:49 Adam This would be like, hey, baby.

1:28:56 Drew Yeah.

1:29:03 Adam No, see.

1:29:03 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:29:06 Adam See that. Aldo. Well, no, Mr.. What's going on, Elder?

1:29:14 Caller I was just good. I was just calling to say about the whole SRSSNER. The one you're talking about?

1:29:18 Adam Yeah, that's the Blackbird.

1:29:21 Kelly Hu Not the band?

1:29:21 Adam The Super Airplane.

1:29:23 Caller Yeah, I'm talking about the plane, actually. It went into service in 1969, got retired in 1989, and then went back into service about 1991 or 92. Whoa!

1:29:33 Caller Oh, my God! Somebody hold the phones!

1:29:36 Caller I can't believe that!

1:29:39 Adam Mm-hmm. Thanks. What else do you know about the aircraft, Aldo?

1:29:43 Caller I think it holds about six to seven minutes.

1:29:46 Caller Oh, boy.

1:29:48 Adam That's right. And LA to New York. Speed record. New York to like Paris, like two hours and 40 minutes.

1:29:56 Caller Yeah, something like that.

1:29:57 Adam Yeah.

1:29:58 Kelly Hu Yeah, we need one of those to go from New York to Paris.

1:30:01 Drew How about New York to Los Angeles?

1:30:02 Adam Yeah.

1:30:02 Kelly Hu Yeah, we really need one of those.

1:30:04 Caller You guys did mention the guns on it. I think they did put guns on it at one time, but the plane was kind of faster than the gun. So the guns were shooting and the bullets were in the behind the plane.

1:30:16 Adam Yeah, I don't think they did that.

1:30:19 Drew No, maybe it couldn't.

1:30:20 Kelly Hu They could be shooting in back of them.

1:30:21 Drew Because, by the way, the bullets were going the same speed as the plane when they're fired.

1:30:24 Adam That's a good point. And secondly, they would do that math.

1:30:27 Drew Yeah.

1:30:28 Adam They would be so stupid. It would make a plane that flies three thousand miles an hour and then go, wait a minute, we shot the tail section off. We're trying to fire on a mic. Put that up, Chris.

1:30:39 Drew You know, that insane clown posse little drop gave me a sort of a little nostalgia. Do we have the one about his joke? We haven't heard that one a long time.

1:30:47 Adam Oh, where? Where Violent Jay tells the joke.

1:30:49 Drew Yeah.

1:30:50 Caller The only weight I lift is my own, my big fat ass every day when I wake up. That was pretty good.

1:31:00 Caller Hey, play that again.

1:31:03 Kelly Hu What is this from?

1:31:04 Adam You're into the Insane Clown Posse. Are you not?

1:31:08 Drew Yeah, that was that.

1:31:09 Caller All right.

1:31:09 Adam Well, that's them.

1:31:10 Drew There you go.

1:31:10 Caller All right.

1:31:11 Adam Who are we going to talk to? Who's been on hold for the longest?

1:31:14 Drew No, talk to five, five, five.

1:31:16 Adam It's a good part. There's been a hole for 46 minutes. Oh, my gosh. All right. Josh. Yeah. Drew's going to be of no help on this call because he's going to sit it out because he didn't want to talk. So he's going to sulk. But you've been on hold for 46 minutes. I'm going to give you the last 45 seconds of the show.

1:31:34 Caller Well, thank you. I appreciate it.

1:31:35 Adam You can't last more than three minutes in bed.

1:31:38 Caller Well, yeah.

1:31:39 Adam All right. Oh, you have a girlfriend? I do. And still still. Yeah. All right. Here's the thing. You can try masturbating an hour before sex or even a couple of times before a couple of times. And get get busy with the oral sex, because that's when the clock starts. That's when they start the meter again. Oh, that's when they start it called the Carolla Principle. That's right. You punch in when the oral begins. Like a lot of guys who only last three minutes in the sack. Give them give them 17 minutes oral. Now you're at 20 minutes.

1:32:13 Kelly Hu That's also a small penis guy thing.

1:32:15 Drew Oh, right. Well, if you say so, if you say so, Kelly.

1:32:19 Kelly Hu They're down there for like hours.

1:32:21 Drew Is that good?

1:32:22 Kelly Hu Yeah, it's great. Of course it is. Yeah, it's a good thing.

1:32:25 Drew Carolla Principle.

1:32:26 Adam Yeah, no.

1:32:27 Kelly Hu Carolla Principle. So all of a sudden, he's a bad sex guy because he's only three minutes. And all of a sudden, now he's turned into an amazing sex guy because he's giving all this oral sex.

1:32:35 Adam It's why.

1:32:36 Caller It's my child's preference.

1:32:38 Adam It's why you have to hire.

1:32:39 Kelly Hu Not just mine, everyone's, no?

1:32:41 Caller Most.

1:32:42 Adam That's why you have to hire the disabled. They work harder. They show up earlier. They don't deal with the blind. No, they step it up.

1:32:50 Drew They've got to compensate. Yeah.

1:32:52 Adam They've got a little chip on their shoulder.

1:32:54 Kelly Hu So what you're saying is we should be sleeping with more handicapped people.

1:32:56 Adam Oh, yes.

1:32:57 Drew Well, handicapped.

1:32:58 Adam No, handicapped.

1:32:59 Drew OK.

1:33:00 Adam I'm talking about handicapped and I'm talking about simultaneously. I'll take a quick break. Be right back after this. Yeah, that's it. That's the show, everybody. What are you going to do? Tell you what you're going to do. Kelly Hu.

1:33:41 Kelly Hu Oh, no, no, no, no. Go into that website. tsunamireliefsong.com.

1:33:47 Adam That's right.

1:33:49 Kelly Hu Thank you.

1:33:50 Caller Yeah.

1:33:51 Adam That was an extended dance version of my Hu. Kelly, always a delight. Come back anytime you like.

1:33:58 Kelly Hu Thank you very much. I love being here. I learned so much.

1:34:02 Adam We love having you.

1:34:03 Drew Two years.

1:34:05 Adam I'm going to take this pill when I get home tonight.

1:34:07 Drew I know.

1:34:08 Kelly Hu Make sure you take it when you get home, though. Right.

1:34:10 Drew I'm going to take it with your other medicine. You don't want to mix medicine with the boots. The red wine medicine.

1:34:14 Adam A little red wine, a little red wine in the pill just to activate it.

1:34:17 Caller A little kick.

1:34:19 Caller All right.

1:34:19 Adam So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. Hello, is Waldo there?

1:34:25 Caller Who?

1:34:28 Adam Uh, is Waldo?

1:34:30 Caller No!

1:34:32 Adam No, not here! The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Monday, March 14, 2005