Episode 1000700172090

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline.

1:18 Voiceover With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:21 Adam Hey, buddy, it's Loveline, man. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. And tonight, we welcome back the Loveline, our dear, dear, dear, dear friends. They really sort of helped us pop our cherry, or at least my cherry on the show.

1:38 Drew The oldest, dearest friends.

1:39 Adam Yes, Goldfinger. Oldfinger. Oldfinger.

1:43 Goldfinger Five people clapping.

1:44 Adam John Feldman's here as well as Darren Pfeiffer. John, we've had on the show to discuss, I think, other bands he was working with.

1:53 I think you were with Good Charlotte once, weren't you?

1:55 Good Charlotte and the Used. We obviously were the last time to do that, the Animal Rights Benefit Show thing last year.

2:00 Adam John has been doing some producing since his Goldfinger days, as well as I see Ashley Simpson's name here on his list of credits.

2:09 She sang all of her songs. No, I'm just kidding. She actually sang all of her stuff.

2:14 Adam John...

2:15 Goldfinger Poorly.

2:16 Adam Yeah, the Goldfinger... Now, is this a... What do you call this for Goldfinger? Are they reuniting? Are they coming back? Or have they ever been apart?

2:25 They've never been apart. It's just a new record came out and I just get bored, you know? I mean, being in the studio all the time is annoying and this is actually the last day of four weeks of touring. We play the Key Club tomorrow and so this is fun for me, being able to get out there and play in front of kids and get sweaty.

2:43 Adam Darren, are you still living in Canada?

2:46 Goldfinger I live in the cold tundras of Ontario, yes, Toronto.

2:49 Adam And are you now, are you from there or is your wife from there?

2:52 Goldfinger My wife is from there. I'm from Buffalo which is close enough.

2:55 Adam That's what I was going to say, because I always picture her wearing a hockey jersey and then it gets a little confusing and I realize no big transition between Buffalo and Canada.

3:03 Drew But you describe it like the hinterlands of Ottawa or Ontario. It's Toronto, it's a big city.

3:07 Goldfinger It's a huge city. It's like New York City. It's gigantic, it's great, it's got multicultural, a lot of entertainment, a lot of bands and that's what I've been doing up there. I've been managing a couple of bands and I'm getting into production a little bit. Using John as a muse maybe, so to speak.

3:21 Violent people up in Canada, violent.

3:23 Goldfinger Yes, the crime is rapid in Toronto.

3:26 Adam What is the big difference?

3:27 Goldfinger Under 100 people shot a year in Canada.

3:31 Adam What would you, although I did see the creepiest guy who was ever on that autopsy 10 show that HBO used to run was the Canadian serial killer guy who was married and was like dismantling, videotaping, getting his wife to play along and keeping his prey. So here's my take on Canadians. Generally not violent but when they snap, look out.

3:54 Drew They make up for it.

3:55 Adam Yeah.

3:55 Goldfinger Well, there was no hockey this year as you know.

3:58 Adam Yeah.

3:58 Goldfinger And murders are gone up.

3:59 Adam Yeah. No, he did use that as part of his defense. Is there depression in general? Is there a general sort of a veil of depression over Canada because of hockey?

4:09 Goldfinger I wouldn't really call it depression. It's more anger. More anger and frustration really over what happened.

4:15 Adam And that's good. It impacts your life.

4:17 Goldfinger And for those of you who don't know, the entire NHL season was canceled this year. And people in Canada, Canadians, take hockey very seriously. It's not just a sport. It's a religion. And it's a family thing. And all families in Canada get into it. And for to have an entire season canceled for a labor dispute is a pretty big deal.

4:35 Adam I wonder, I know you guys aren't here to talk about hockey, but I just wonder.

4:40 Goldfinger I'll talk hockey for two hours.

4:41 Adam I don't care. No, actually just be here for an hour and then Kelly will come in. And Brian will talk about hockey for the last hour. But all right, I want to talk about hockey. I want to talk about Goldfinger. So where did you guys record The Alm? And when did you record The Alm?

4:55 My house. We did it, probably finished it up about six months ago. And you know, it's been out for about three weeks.

5:03 Goldfinger We have the luxury of having John's house. He's got an amazing Pro Tools studio, HD, everything's really nice. It's comfortable. And when we recorded, there was no labels involved. We were free artists, so to speak. And we recorded at our whim. We recorded how we wanted, when we wanted. We took breaks from when we felt like it. There was no one saying, time is money. And John had control. And we could do whatever we wanted. It was really refreshing.

5:27 Adam Was it a much better, more gratifying experience than the last?

5:30 Goldfinger I think so.

5:31 Our first record, Mojo Records was our first label. And they got bought out by Jive Records, which has all of our compadres like the Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears and NSYNC and all the bands that we would obviously tour with to begin with. So they had no idea what to do with our band. And so we were very happy. We begged and pleaded to be released from that, from Jive Records.

5:52 Goldfinger I begged and pleaded to meet Britney, but it wasn't working.

5:55 Adam Did you guys ever open or do anything with those guys or?

5:59 We begged and pleaded. We just figured, I mean, what a better tour for us.

6:03 Drew The last time I saw them live in concert, they just jumped out on the stage and said, okay, you effing Fs.

6:08 Adam Yeah.

6:08 Drew Referring to the audience. NSYNC was there.

6:11 Us?

6:12 Drew No, no, you.

6:12 Oh, thanks, but NSYNC, I'm like, I said that? Live in concert first of all with NSYNC, that's kind of an oxymoron.

6:18 Drew Darren's grown up a little bit since last time I saw him, I think.

6:20 Darren, we haven't even seen an inkling of his nakedness yet.

6:24 Adam Licking his drumsticks.

6:25 Goldfinger Right now, I'm taking off my jacket. To start.

6:30 Adam We'll hear something off the new Goldfinger CD, which is called The Disconnection Notice. I think we'll take two calls. We'll hear a new Goldfinger song.

6:41 Yeah.

6:42 Adam You're 18?

6:43 Caller No.

6:44 Adam All right. How old are you?

6:46 Caller I am 17.

6:47 Adam 17.

6:48 Drew Fantastic.

6:48 Adam All right. What's up?

6:51 Caller Well, I've been with this guy for quite a while and I really want to have sex with him and he won't have sex.

6:58 Drew What are his reasons?

7:00 Caller He hasn't really given any. I kind of think it's cause he's-

7:04 Drew He's gay.

7:05 Caller No, no. I've dated so many gay guys and this is the most heterosexual guy I've dated.

7:11 Drew But hold on now. You've been attracted to and selected gay men, right?

7:17 Caller Yes.

7:17 Drew So it already throws him into suspicion because we know you're being the selector, tend to select gay guys even when they don't know they're gay, perhaps. That's what worries me here. Because how long have you been with this guy?

7:30 Caller Well, it depends on who you ask because-

7:32 Drew I'm asking you. How long have you been with him?

7:35 Caller Well, you don't hold on to say-

7:39 Adam Do you need a calculator?

7:40 Goldfinger I got one on my phone.

7:41 Adam You want to pick a historical figure?

7:44 Drew Let's ask Abe Lincoln. Let's ask Abe Lincoln. Let's ask Abe Lincoln.

7:46 Adam Come on. Three score.

7:49 Goldfinger I thought we weren't talking about hockey anymore.

7:51 Adam I just hope Abe would use score in his length description of their relationship.

7:56 Drew Three score weeks?

7:57 Adam Yeah. Laura, let's ask you. How long have you two been together?

8:03 Caller The first time we kissed that I was single was over a year ago.

8:06 Drew All right. So you basically been together a year, dating. Dating? Yeah. He'd say that's my girlfriend.

8:11 Caller Yeah. Oh, yeah.

8:13 Drew So there are basically two reasons that I would say are likely to be the cause of his lack of passion.

8:19 Adam Well, how far have you gotten? Just let me cut you off.

8:21 Drew All right.

8:22 Adam What base?

8:23 Oral sex.

8:24 Adam You gave him oral sex?

8:26 Caller Oh, yeah.

8:27 Drew How about he to you?

8:28 Caller No, no, no, no.

8:30 Goldfinger How old is he?

8:31 Caller He's 17.

8:33 Drew Does he have any strong religious beliefs? No. No more of those strong morality about remaining a virgin?

8:40 Caller Not really. He's kind of been trying to clean up my act lately.

8:47 Goldfinger Why, are you a hooker?

8:48 Caller No.

8:49 Goldfinger Well, what act are you talking about? Will you juggle and ride a unicycle?

8:53 Caller No, I'm just, I'm very affectionate for you.

8:56 Adam I miss Darren's sense of humor. Oh, wait a second. Let's just talk about this for a second. If a guy receives oral from a girl but won't return it, that means he's not that into her.

9:09 Drew Maybe. That's one possibility.

9:11 Adam Most likely. I mean, just think about where your mind, where your head, think about your mindset. Yeah, you can go down on me. Oh, I'm done. I'll see you tomorrow. Like when you're not going down on them, you're not trying.

9:23 Drew But there's that sort of overlap period around 1718 where that's going too far kind of thing. That's where you're taking it towards intercourse.

9:31 Caller All right. Wasn't that, wasn't like 1718 where you do the oil check thing too, the little reach around little stuff thing. Maybe oil check.

9:39 Adam Yeah. That's awesome.

9:41 Drew He's getting more and more romantic all the time.

9:43 Adam Laura?

9:45 Drew Middle Adam says, Adam starts talking about abalone.

9:47 Adam Yeah. All right, Quine.

9:48 Caller But it isn't, it isn't that he doesn't want to get to know what it is.

9:50 Adam John says you're court low, by the way.

9:54 Caller Yeah.

9:55 Adam Yeah. What about that? What about that? What's this? I'm trying to figure out what's up with this guy. Why, is he a ladies man or is he shy? It's one or the other.

10:06 Caller No, he's, he's kind of stuffy.

10:12 Adam He's uptight.

10:13 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

10:14 Adam Does he feel good about himself or is his parents rich?

10:17 Caller He has the hugest ego.

10:18 Adam Huge ego. He's not trying. He's not into you. He's into you enough to let you perform oral on his highness, but not so into you that he's going to give you, he's going to check your tranny fluid.

10:29 Drew The only common reason that the guy is sort of off the trail is he's gay or he doesn't know it maybe or he's got some very strong religious or moral beliefs about this.

10:37 Adam I would use the tampon like a dipstick.

10:40 Drew Yeah, it's quite an image. Thanks for sharing.

10:43 Goldfinger I think you should just confront him. That's a simple solution. Dude, what's up?

10:47 Adam I don't think he's into her.

10:48 Goldfinger I'm ready.

10:48 Drew Yeah, and any guy that is in any way interested would kind of...

10:53 Caller 17, I mean, there's nothing I would turn down at 17. Nothing, a dog, not anything.

10:59 Goldfinger At a year?

11:00 Caller So, I mean...

11:00 Drew Nora, have you ever brought this up with him?

11:02 Caller Well, I mean...

11:03 Drew And what does he say?

11:05 Caller He just says, like, no, pretty much.

11:10 Adam Just... Why?

11:11 Drew Why?

11:11 Adam Now, forget it. Just dump him. Look, here's the whole thing, everyone. Relationships at 17, especially at the beginning, you know, under a year kind of thing, they're not supposed to be like playing handball against the drapes. Right. They're supposed to be spontaneous and energetic, supposed to be fun. Later on, they get miserable and you feel trapped. At the beginning, they're supposed to be just, we can't get enough of each other. I love, oh, did you stink up the bathroom running in there and I'm going to wave it in my face? I can't get enough of you.

11:40 Drew No, that's you with yourself.

11:41 Adam That's me.

11:42 Drew OK.

11:42 Adam That's what I'm talking about. Yeah. The relationship I have with my anus.

11:45 Drew OK. Yeah.

11:46 Adam The point is, there's my point, if you have to, like, ask, why aren't you doing this? Or how come you're not into me? Or why aren't you calling back early stages at 17? It's not. It's not happening. Move on. Agreed. Just cut it. Move on. Word. Thank you. Sandra?

12:01 Yeah.

12:02 Adam You're 17?

12:03 Caller Yep.

12:04 Adam What's up?

12:07 Caller I have a boyfriend and we've been going out for a very, very long time now.

12:11 Caller How long?

12:13 Caller Almost a year.

12:14 Drew And how old is he?

12:16 Caller He's 18.

12:17 Drew By the way, thank you for not asking us to refer to Abe Lincoln for that kind of information.

12:21 Adam All right. So what's up?

12:24 Caller Well, he just got a job recently and I left my family to live with him and we're like nine hours away from my family. My family is like one of those kind of families that's like really close and every family party, they are every holiday, they have a big family party. Everybody gets drunk and it's kind of stupid. And like I moved in with him and he got a job and this girl kept calling him and I come to find out that she works with him and about a week ago, like I found out that him and her, like they went to the movies on one of our anniversaries.

13:06 Drew Clearly that's her fault. Clearly she needs to be taken care of. She's a bad person.

13:10 Adam How many anniversaries do you guys celebrate? Because I'm at one and that's too much. Once a year, it's like, are you kidding? No, no, it's been 365 days. You're asking me, baby. I feel like I'm just recovering. I'd like to get it down into fractions. We do like, we'll do like three sixteenths and every six years it'll be one year. It'll be awesome. We'll keep it fresh. How many anniversaries do you guys have?

13:37 Caller Well, we celebrated our like our third month, our sixth month, our ninth month, and then we're going to celebrate our year and then every year after that.

13:48 Adam I see.

13:48 Drew I imagine when he's doing that.

13:49 Adam So which one did he take her out to the movies? If you have 28 a year, it's going to be tough not to screw around on one of them. You know what I mean? The chances are you're going to land on an anniversary.

14:00 Caller Our nine-month anniversary, he had all these, like me and him both had all these big plans we're going to do. Oh, he came home from work and left again and then come home about five o'clock in the morning. And the next day I found movie tickets.

14:12 Adam The movies.

14:13 Drew How old is he?

14:14 Caller He's 18.

14:16 Drew This guy is, why did you leave the set with this guy? What are you running away from at home?

14:20 Adam Hey, they're very close. Yeah, I'm picturing that means they all sleep in the same room, by the way, is very close.

14:25 Caller Yeah, we do. We sleep in the same room, same bed, and like we've been for a long as well.

14:33 Adam Yeah, I was talking about your family.

14:34 Goldfinger They have no choice. It's a trailer.

14:36 Caller No, we live in a big third story house. Me and him, our bedroom is down in the basement.

14:42 Drew His family's house?

14:44 Caller Yeah, his mom's. His mom has custody of me right now.

14:48 Drew Why did you leave your family? What happened?

14:51 Caller My mom was moving and like all my siblings like moved out and everything and all of it was left with me and my little brother. My little brother's going to go move with my dad.

15:04 Adam All right, well, wait a second. First off, this, it started off with you have a very close family. Yeah, now it just sounds like a Chinese fire drill over at your house. But I could tell by your twang it was a disaster. Yeah, it's a horrible situation. You move in with a dude at 17.

15:19 Drew You're running away from something.

15:20 Adam I quote the great, great Drew here. You're just running away.

15:22 Yeah.

15:22 Adam It's never, oh, we were in love.

15:24 No, no.

15:24 Adam You know.

15:25 Drew It's a life preserver.

15:26 Adam Your family's a mess, so you shacked up with this guy. This guy's a mess just like dear old dad.

15:31 Drew Yes, indeed.

15:32 Adam Here you are celebrating your eight month and three day anniversary. And this guy's at the movies with a chick. And by the way, last time I checked, movies ended latest about 1 a.m. That's the latest. So he came home at 5.

15:48 Goldfinger Something's going down.

15:49 Adam Something went down.

15:50 Drew And here's the deal. You moved in with an 18 year old. You might as well move in with an 18 year old armadillo. Yeah, guys. You can't.

15:58 Adam 18 year old guys should be living with 18 year old guys because they deserve each other and that's about it.

16:04 Goldfinger Or 18 year old armadillos.

16:05 Drew Right. He's behaving like an 18 year old guy. He may truly be a horrible person. We don't know.

16:12 Adam And he's stupid. He took the movie stubs and just left them in his pocket.

16:16 Drew Listen, he can't handle anything. He's got this girl living with him, doesn't know what to do with. The mom's got custody.

16:23 Adam You found out he took his girl that he works with to the movies. How do you find out he took her?

16:29 Caller Because about three days ago, I called her and asked her if she wanted to meet with me face to face because me and her had never met. But I've talked to her on the phone once or twice when she called asking for him. I found a letter in his pocket that I took with me to meet her. And it said on the letter, Oh yeah, sorry about your foster sister, blah, blah, blah.

16:48 Drew Foster sister.

16:49 Caller In other words, me and her sister. He has one brother and I'm the only girl.

16:52 Drew Yeah, but you kind of are his foster sister. Your mom adopted you.

16:56 Adam Interesting.

16:57 Goldfinger Kentucky.

16:58 Drew So to you.

16:59 Adam When you go on the road, try that with your wife.

17:01 Drew You understand to your boyfriend that's what you are. You're not his girlfriend. You are his foster sister who he's banging when he has a chance.

17:08 Adam Well, you're certainly his foster sister to the chick at work. You're trying to nail. You may not be to your buddies.

17:15 Drew To the world, maybe.

17:15 Adam Really? Well, hold on. Wait a minute. We may have him on a technicality. Is your last name Foster?

17:22 Caller No, my last name is Stoner. Would you believe that?

17:25 Goldfinger Oh, my God.

17:26 Caller That's amazing.

17:27 Drew That I would.

17:28 Adam All right. But still doesn't help my theory.

17:30 Goldfinger Is your first name Bia?

17:32 Adam Bia Stoner.

17:33 Caller Bia for Stoner. Hold on.

17:38 Adam First off, if you have a last kid, if you have a kid, if your last name is Stoner, you're obligated to give your kid a novelty front name. Like if your last name, like if you're the Nibbler family, you've got to go with Dick.

17:50 Drew Yeah.

17:50 Adam You just do.

17:52 Drew What would the good ones be for Stoner?

17:55 Goldfinger Bia, Beatrice.

17:56 Drew Beatrice is good.

17:57 Adam Yeah. I think you just want to go with, or you could just go with something weird like Hesher or Heshee or something. You know, just something that's sort of remnant, you know.

18:07 Goldfinger What's your name?

18:08 Adam Hesher? Yeah.

18:09 Goldfinger Stoner.

18:09 Adam Yeah.

18:11 Goldfinger 420, middle name?

18:12 Adam Yeah. Bungaris.

18:17 Goldfinger Bungo.

18:17 Adam What'd you meet, my son Bungaris Stoner? Wow.

18:21 Drew Reefer Stoner.

18:22 Goldfinger Weird.

18:22 Adam I got the munchies. What was that?

18:24 Drew Doritos.

18:25 Adam Sandra?

18:26 Caller Yeah.

18:27 Adam Okay.

18:28 Goldfinger Quit banging your brother.

18:29 Adam Everything's a disaster.

18:30 Drew This is a bad situation.

18:31 Adam It's bad.

18:32 Drew Really bad.

18:33 Adam And look, I know you have a great white trash gene where you have to go after the chick your unfaithful man is cheating with, which I love. I wish I could meet a girl that had that. You're gonna straighten her out. I've dated all the sane ones that want to kick me in the nuts instead of the white trash ones who want to go on Sally Jessie and beat the crap out of the one I've been banging and I'm ladies, ladies, there's enough to go around. I love that. I don't, there's something, there's something, there's some gene in, well, no, I won't limit it to white trash. Black women have this gene and white trash women have this gene where they want to go after the person their husband is effing.

19:10 Drew Yes, it's her fault. If she weren't there, everything would be beautiful.

19:13 Adam As if there's not another vagina on the planet that your husband could get his penis into.

19:17 Goldfinger Well, for the white trash guy, that's brilliant then. He's like, No, it's awesome. I didn't do it.

19:23 Drew She made me.

19:23 Goldfinger I had an erection. She jumped on it. It's not my fault.

19:26 Adam No, it's awesome. And then what would any guy do? Then you just stop him, duke it out. You just wait in the bedroom.

19:34 Drew So the winner emerges?

19:35 Adam Take the winner.

19:38 Goldfinger You got a referee shirt, holds up the arm.

19:40 Adam Yeah, it's awesome.

19:41 Goldfinger The girl with three teeth wins.

19:43 Adam All right, Sandrick, can you go? Is there any place for you to go? This guy's not your boyfriend.

19:49 Caller I know, but whenever I confronted him about it the other day, he cried to me and told me he loved me and he did it because he was scared that I was cheating on him with his brother and his brother's not good looking at all. His brother's freaking mad.

20:02 Drew If he were though.

20:03 Adam All right, yeah. But if he was a good seven, you'd be on top of him. All right, listen.

20:08 Caller He said he did that and was trying to push me away.

20:10 Adam All right, Sandrick, Sandrick, listen, listen, this is albino white trash behavior. All right, now here's, I want to see if I can break through to you for just one second. First off, I need you not to get pregnant. That's number one.

20:24 Caller Number two.

20:25 Why?

20:28 Adam She made the proclamation.

20:29 Caller Yeah, she doesn't want to.

20:30 Drew How are you gonna make sure it doesn't happen?

20:33 Caller Because like I made a promise to my mom that we wouldn't do it.

20:36 Drew You're not having sex with him.

20:37 Caller We did for the longest time.

20:39 Adam Okay, just hold on a second. Listen, look.

20:43 Drew Circles.

20:44 Adam Come on, she promised her mom. Come on, Drew. Look, who are you talking to?

20:49 Drew That's good. They got this down to basics. Let's get her on some birth control or something. All right. This is a salvation.

20:55 Adam Can you get on birth control?

20:56 Drew I am on it. All right.

20:58 Adam Okay, good. Fantastic. Now here's the deal. You know when you turn on TV and you see those horrible hillbillies going at it and you think to yourself, you see the guy with the greasy bangs and the melon head and the puka shells that are too tight and his head's turning red and he got this stupid chick over there with the Playboy tattoo on one of her boobs and they're living in trailer and you're making fun of them. That could be you in just a few short years. Could be. Yeah. Well, she's 17. Sounds like an ad.

21:26 Caller This could be you.

21:27 Adam All I'm saying is, is don't be that person. Don't end up that way.

21:31 Drew Go away to college.

21:32 Adam Go away to college. Get out of there. You're smart. What do you need this for? Why get into the chaos? I know your family's a mess. I know everything's chaotic. Why do you have to go down the idiot trail? You don't have to do it. I mean, Drew, I'll use myself as an example. I sized up my family a long time ago and said, no way. I'm not doing this. These guys are idiots. I'm not going to live this kind of life. Why doesn't everyone just do that? I know it's not as simple, but take a look at your family. Keep the things you like. Toss out the ones you don't like. In Sandra's case, that's about 95% of the family trades.

22:04 Goldfinger That's like a poker hand.

22:06 Adam Yeah, it's like you got an ace.

22:07 Goldfinger Get four new cards.

22:08 Adam That's right. Hit the deal thing. And why do you want to do it? You see how your mom and dad get along. You see how your brother's getting along. Just take a look at it and get out of there. Do something different instead of hook up with an abusive guy, get pregnant, get cheated on, and go down the same mess. Crap out the kids, go down the same road. Why? What is that impulse? Shouldn't you know firsthand? I mean, shouldn't you be like one of these guys who's like, oh, I've seen war, my friend. It is horrible.

22:37 Drew We're never going there.

22:37 Adam You do not want to go back and do this. You want to avoid it at all costs. You know, I've been on the front lines. I've seen friends die in my arms. Why aren't you that way with your family? Yes. You're that way when you almost drowned in your three. You're scared to go by the pool. You're that way when a dog bites you. When you're five, you're scared of dogs. Why can't you be that way with white trash idiots?

22:55 Drew Oh, no, because you have unfinished business. You must go and retrieve the A-hole and try to make it right. That's what happens.

23:02 Adam All right. Well, now, speaking of unfinished business, we got a Goldfinger song to play. I know we're running a little bit late, but I promise, and a promise is a promise. See, my family wouldn't have kept that promise. They would never play the Goldfinger record in the first break, you know that? But not me.

23:17 Drew You keep promising.

23:17 Adam I keep promising.

23:19 Drew I have to announce it before you go to the Goldfinger.

23:20 Adam Really?

23:21 Drew Yeah, yeah. I'm looking for something during the song, in fact. I'm looking for two people to do a television interview with. One is a young males who've had difficulty with their diabetes and erectile dysfunction as a result. I'm looking for diabetic males with erectile dysfunction.

23:33 Adam Drew, we're out of time here.

23:34 Drew Hang a second. And then two women who've had sex related symptoms from medication, birth control pills, that kind of thing. Now let's throw it out.

23:41 Goldfinger That's me and my wife to a tea.

23:43 Drew All right, we'll take you.

23:43 Goldfinger Let's do it.

23:44 Drew All right.

23:44 Adam Throw this out. All right. All right. Yeah.

23:48 Drew All right.

23:48 Adam Goldfinger. Yeah. What song are we hearing? Stalker. Yeah, that is a little band called Goldfinger. Dear, dear, dear, dear friend.

26:40 Goldfinger Now keep in mind, Adam and Drew, there's presents here to be awarded.

26:43 Adam Oh yeah. All right. Take a break. Disconnection Notice, name of the new Goldfinger CD. Sounding great as ever. We'll take a quick break. Be right back after this. Yeah, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Goldfinger. Hello.

27:13 Goldfinger Yo.

27:15 Adam Back and better than ever. Disconnection Notice, name is CD., Darren and John, in studio.

27:20 Goldfinger Kelly and Brian coming up.

27:21 Adam Kelly and Brian coming up, and Darren comes bearing gifts.

27:26 Goldfinger Yes, I do. As always, you know, it's a Loveline-Goldfinger tradition to bring gifts. We've brought such things as pornography. No, booze, fireworks.

27:37 Drew Fireworks. I remember we did fireworks.

27:39 Goldfinger That was amazing.

27:40 Drew I lit a lot of those.

27:41 Goldfinger And the cop show.

27:41 Drew We did them in the parking lot. Remember? The police showed up. Remember that?

27:45 Goldfinger They heard the broadcast. But tonight's no different. Tonight, there's a bottle of red wine, a bottle of white wine. I don't know which one you guys want to split that up.

27:55 Adam Well, we both like red, so there's trouble.

27:56 Caller This is 7-Eleven.

27:58 Adam Let's see.

27:58 Drew This is Adam's medicine, so he may need a little more of it than I do.

28:01 Adam Oh, yeah.

28:02 Goldfinger And more importantly, a very unique gift. You guys' lottery tickets, Fantasy Five tickets.

28:06 Caller Oh, wow.

28:08 Goldfinger The jackpot is up to $28 million. $28 million.

28:11 Caller It could be your day, your special day. You can take your pick.

28:13 Goldfinger Which one do you guys want?

28:13 Adam Thank you. I'll take both of them.

28:15 Drew You hand it to us.

28:16 Adam Yeah, you hand it to us. It's gonna be trouble.

28:18 Goldfinger That one goes to you.

28:18 Adam I think that, Drew, I think you've got mine.

28:20 Goldfinger I'm sure you'll give me a fair amount.

28:21 Adam Yeah, I would like to switch. Wait a minute. Which one? No, you switched too easily, buddy. No way am I falling for that. Yeah, now there's no scratching or itching or anything like that.

28:32 Goldfinger No, tomorrow, the draws tomorrow.

28:33 Drew So you have five different random numbers for us. And one of those.

28:35 Goldfinger The five different games.

28:36 Adam Thank you.

28:37 Drew Five different games.

28:38 Goldfinger Yeah, so you have five chances to win $20 million.

28:40 Adam Wow, wow. Well, with five chances.

28:41 Goldfinger And if you win, I expect nothing.

28:44 Drew Don't worry.

28:45 Adam Well, as you know, I can be a magnanimous because I'm literally a millionaire. So, you know, this wouldn't change my status as a literal millionaire. I just have a little more wham walking around money. That's all.

28:57 Goldfinger And, you know, I have nothing.

28:59 Adam That's cool. I would I would get it. I'm trying to think.

29:02 Goldfinger I just I just I just want to be here. Take me out for some beers.

29:05 Adam I would know. I would I would I would give you half the money.

29:08 Caller No, he might give you his real phone number.

29:09 Goldfinger Twenty eight.

29:11 Adam Yes.

29:11 Caller If you win, let me check.

29:12 Adam Maybe the real I'm going to give my real phone number. Joseph.

29:16 Yes.

29:17 Adam You're 16.

29:18 Caller Yes, sir.

29:19 Adam What's up, man?

29:21 Caller I was at the Goldfinger concert last night. How you guys doing?

29:24 Goldfinger Goldfinger in Phoenix, Arizona.

29:28 Yeah, do I?

29:30 Caller Yeah.

29:30 Goldfinger What does someone from Arizona sound like?

29:31 Caller This guy.

29:32 OK.

29:33 Caller Right here. They sound like me.

29:35 Drew So what's up?

29:37 Caller I got to know what possessed you to stick a CD between your butt cheeks, man.

29:41 Adam Oh, that's the old Darren.

29:42 Drew That's a signature move on Darren's part.

29:45 Caller Yeah.

29:45 Caller Sticking anything there and then gifts, man.

29:47 There's some bearing gifts right there, right between his butt cheeks.

29:51 Goldfinger Were you the lucky guy that got the CD?

29:53 Caller No, I was not, man.

29:54 Caller I was close enough to see some pimples, but I mean.

29:57 Drew Nice.

29:58 Goldfinger I wore a thong.

30:00 Drew We have a long and illustrious history with that, with Darren's ass. You remember the picture that used to hang over it?

30:06 Goldfinger Where is that picture? Westwood 1? Okay.

30:09 Adam Here's the thing, Joseph. Darren was putting things in his ass on stage when you were in diapers.

30:14 Drew Oh, absolutely.

30:15 Caller How old is Darren?

30:16 Adam 16. I'm sorry. Joseph is 16.

30:21 Goldfinger I was even putting stuff in my ass at my wedding, which you attended, Adam.

30:25 Adam Oh, that's right.

30:25 Goldfinger Remember I was drunk.

30:26 Adam Sportsman's Lodge. Cash bar. I'll never forget it. Boy, was I pissed.

30:34 Goldfinger In both ways, pissed off and drunk?

30:35 Adam And urinated, yeah. No, I couldn't get loaded because I was a cash bar.

30:39 Goldfinger Come on, you weren't the millionaire then?

30:41 Adam No, I wasn't literally a millionaire. I could only afford it.

30:43 Goldfinger Were you a thousandaire then?

30:45 Adam Whatever. You know, here's the whole thing. I go to weddings to drink for free. See what I'm saying?

30:51 Drew Yes, I hear you.

30:51 Adam It's like, it's like you, you drink and eat. Yeah, it's like, it's a buffet. You wouldn't go there if it wasn't a buffet.

30:57 Goldfinger You go to Vegas for the buffets.

30:59 Adam Yeah, that's all I'm saying. I went to Darren's wedding to get drunk for free. As it turns out.

31:05 Goldfinger Not because we're friends.

31:07 Adam Well, that's what friends do for friends. They get them drunk for free. But it turned out it was a cash bar, Drew. So, you know, I got my buzz on. Don't get me wrong.

31:15 Goldfinger There was the beer was free, though, Adam.

31:17 Adam Oh, maybe the beer was free. It was free.

31:19 Goldfinger The liquor was to pay for.

31:20 Adam Oh, that's what that's what it was. All right. Yeah.

31:22 Caller The shaver was free.

31:23 Adam Listen, it's been 10 years. I've forgotten all about it.

31:26 Caller Yeah, sure.

31:26 Adam That's a point.

31:27 Goldfinger Doesn't sound like it.

31:28 Caller No, no.

31:29 Adam Like water on a duck's ass. It just rolled right off. All right. Want to ask another question for the man? Rachel?

31:38 Hi.

31:39 Adam 24?

31:40 Yes.

31:41 Caller Sweet.

31:42 Hi, Adam and Drew. I love you guys. Hi, Sharon, Aaron. You guys are amazing. They've been listening to you since Hang Up came out.

31:48 Caller Thanks.

31:49 I'm actually from routine Wisconsin. I was at the Milwaukee show.

31:52 Caller Yep.

31:53 And I just got a couple of questions. I know it's so stupid the way that the venue was, and they wouldn't let any mashing and all that. And that kind of stuff.

32:02 Caller I guess it was actually the city. I mean, I guess when Green Day played there a few years ago, I mean, Billy Joe showed his butt cheeks to the crowd and got arrested that night, and they told us the same thing. And it was actually the city of Milwaukee is really, really strict. They wouldn't let us put a Twinkie in Darren's butt. They wouldn't let us have kids on stage. Wow. Shocked. You know, I think Great White probably had more to do with not letting us light our symbols on fire than Milwaukee.

32:28 Goldfinger But Milwaukee, you know, after Dahmer, everything changed.

32:32 Caller Yeah. So, yeah, it wasn't necessarily the club as it was the probably the city more than anything else.

32:36 Adam It's not like the old Laverne and Shirley days, the footloose and fancy free days of Milwaukee.

32:41 Goldfinger Yeah, you can put your glove on the beer bottle, let it go down the line.

32:43 Adam Oh, cheering all the way.

32:45 Drew Shamil.

32:47 Adam Yeah. They're waving bye to our work club.

32:49 Goldfinger Don't show your ass. We're going to do it.

32:52 Adam Yeah.

32:53 Goldfinger Don't have kids on stage. We're going to do it.

32:56 Adam Funny, they just played that song behind a lot of Dahmer footage, like them with the hand truck removing the refrigerator from the apartment, screaming mothers in the courtroom and then anyone will break it.

33:09 Goldfinger Right, right.

33:09 Adam Under a lot of courtroom footage.

33:11 Caller They tore down his apartment. We used to be able to tour his apartment.

33:15 Goldfinger Earl Drumcheck came back to the show one year we were there. It had a brick and I go, what is that? He's like, it's a brick from Dahmer's house. I'm like, you sick bastard. Give it to me.

33:24 Put it in my ass.

33:25 Adam Yeah. Rachel, easy, Drew.

33:30 Drew I'm just trying to think like Darren. How would Darren do?

33:32 What would Darren do?

33:33 Adam There's a good PSA.

33:34 Goldfinger What would Brian do? Do the opposite.

33:37 Adam Yeah, that's the thing. What would Stop think? What would Darren do?

33:40 Drew Right, it's just sort of an aphorism, like what would McGruff tell you? What would Darren do? Just do the opposite.

33:47 Adam They do that with God. What would Jesus do right now? The same math works with the devil or Darren or publicist. What's the publicist do?

34:00 Caller What's that Chicago show we always do, that cable accident? JBTV. They have, it's the same, today we do interviews and they have these little teeny mics. And Darren, I mean, he farted and he got the whole thing. Actually, it was an on-nick film. They filmed the whole, it was so gnarly. I can't imagine I could show that at anything besides like some X-rated, it was so gnarly.

34:21 Goldfinger I can't believe we're invited back.

34:22 Caller And he still had the mic. He still had the mic and it's still spelled.

34:26 Goldfinger And they still invite us back. Really? Every year, yeah.

34:28 Adam What would Darren do? Hardcore. I'm guessing they're not turning down A-list celebrities.

34:34 Goldfinger Chicago's freaks.

34:36 Adam Listen, JLo, Cruz, you guys are canceled. Darren's back in town. Sorry, we're bumping you.

34:42 Goldfinger Sorry, Usher. We can't come in tonight.

34:44 Adam Well, look, here's the deal, Usher. You're gonna get on tonight unless Darren goes along.

34:49 Caller We got a mic for you, too, right here.

34:50 Adam If Darren goes along, we'll just bump you and we'll have you on Tuesday. That's how it works.

34:54 Goldfinger Darren will bump you.

34:57 Drew Joe, 18.

34:58 Adam Joe?

34:59 Caller Oh, hey.

35:00 Adam You're 18? What's up?

35:02 Caller Yeah, thanks for checking my call, guys. I wanted to know if you could tell if someone's been smoking weed through an MRI.

35:09 Drew No, no, you really can't.

35:11 Adam What about anything else? What about coke or booze or anything like that?

35:15 Drew No, you can, there are, no, if they do a functional MRI, you can see changes in your brain's metabolism, but they have to be sort of looking for it.

35:24 Adam What's the difference between a functional and a regular MRI?

35:26 Drew MRI just shows the anatomic structure. Functional MRI shows certain metabolic activities in regions of the brain, some activities, and when you're smoking a lot of pot, a lot of frontal lobes turn off and a lot of the areas you need for development and intellectual activities are shown.

35:40 Adam Would they turn off while you're stoned or as you're smoking the pot, an hour later?

35:47 Drew If you're a chronic pot smoker, you will show changes for a couple of years afterwards.

35:51 Goldfinger What school do you play for? What sport do you play? And what are you worried about?

35:55 Adam Joe? No, he's not going to say.

35:58 Goldfinger I play for Arizona State University. I play basketball.

36:01 Adam No, he's a stoner. He doesn't play.

36:03 Caller No, no, no, no, no, no. I played high school football for four years.

36:06 Goldfinger But you're obviously worried about something, right?

36:09 Caller Well, yeah, I'm trying to be a firefighter. I'm a volunteer right now. I'll put that fire out, dude.

36:14 Caller Yeah, start smoking weed. Stop smoking weed.

36:17 Goldfinger Fire, ding, ding, ding. Whoa, pals, man.

36:19 Drew Are you having dizziness? Is that why they're getting the MRI?

36:22 Caller Yeah, they're trying to diagnose me with veneers.

36:26 Drew Right, they're trying to make sure it's not an acoustic neuroma.

36:29 Adam Oh, so with your ear?

36:31 Drew The ear nerve to the ear through the skull.

36:34 Adam Well, but hold, here's what I'm saying, Drew. If you go on a functional MRI, you just have a bong load, your guy doesn't smoke pot. You just took a bong load 10 minutes earlier. Is it going to show anything?

36:42 Drew Yes, it will. The same slowing will occur maybe more severely while you're loaded, but it will persist even afterwards.

36:50 Adam What about booze?

36:51 Drew No, it's different. I don't know.

36:53 Adam You should be trying all these things when you have a functional MRI.

36:56 Drew Cocaine, again, it'll show changes in patterns, but pot shows a sort of global slowing of activity.

37:03 Adam But even if you don't smoke pot, you just have a bong load.

37:07 Drew If you're not a regular user. That's what I'm saying.

37:11 Adam Speaking of slowing, what I'm saying is can you see something immediately from anything you do?

37:16 Drew You can, but you have to kind of look for it.

37:18 Goldfinger Question, what city do you live in, Joe?

37:20 Drew It was in Moreno Valley.

37:22 Adam Moreno Valley.

37:23 Goldfinger I'm not going to live there ever because this guy is protecting my house from fire.

37:27 Caller How many fires have been started by a pot smoking fireman? Like some seed that just pops off the aluminum fan.

37:32 Goldfinger As he falls asleep on his couch with his bong in his hand.

37:35 Caller Pot smoking fireman.

37:36 Adam Joe, I appreciate what you're trying to do, even if Goldfinger is making funny.

37:40 Goldfinger Well, don't be a firefighter and smoke pot.

37:42 Adam Well, he used to smoke pot. Now he stopped. Right, Joe? Maybe not. Listen, it's not easy getting on. Here's the deal about firemen. It's a pretty good gig.

37:55 Drew Yeah.

37:56 Adam Get tons of poon tang. You only work you only work two days a week and you play foosball most of the time.

38:01 Drew And you cook.

38:01 Adam Yeah. There's some fat guy named Cookie.

38:03 Goldfinger He's really good at cooking.

38:04 Adam He's cooking. You're hanging out. I've seen the shows. It's a real camaraderie. Lots of manly men hanging out, showering and, you know, sliding down that big pole.

38:12 Goldfinger My brother's a fireman.

38:14 Adam Is he?

38:14 Goldfinger It's tough work. The gear is really heavy.

38:16 Adam Yeah.

38:17 Goldfinger And if you can't breathe, that gear gets even heavier and it's tough work. It's tough.

38:22 Adam No, it is. It is. But, you know, I think in the movies, they do a little more that we're heading in, even though things like you can't even see, like what's a giant torch. I'm going in. That's just a dumpster that's on fire. I'm going in.

38:36 Goldfinger There's a rat in there. I'm going to save it.

38:37 Adam I'm going to save it. There's a roach in there. I got to get it. Yeah. I think, I think, I think firemen would, I mean, it's dangerous, but firemen a little more. Is there anyone in there? Let it burn itself out. That's what my thing is. I'm going on a run. Who wants something? Anyone need a Gatorade? I'm going to run. Funyuns?

38:52 Drew I'm doing what's safe.

38:53 Adam What do you need? Sixer?

38:55 Drew Sixer Funyuns.

38:56 Adam Well my feeling is if you just announce I'm going on a run, someone will start shouting out orders and you can leave. No matter what. It doesn't matter where you are.

39:04 Drew Do you want me to take over? Yeah.

39:05 Adam I would have done that if I was in NAMM. Like we're in like the Tet offense and bulls are flying. I just go, I'm going on a run. And all of a sudden people start yelling out stuff. Give me a Slim Jim and some Pab.

39:14 Goldfinger I need some grenades. Mountain Dew. And Doritos.

39:17 Adam No, I'm going to Circle K or 7-Eleven.

39:19 Goldfinger And Jack and the Crab.

39:20 Adam Give me some Red Vines.

39:22 Drew Circle K and NAMM.

39:23 Adam Or probably guys would yell like, surprise me.

39:25 Goldfinger I need some Marlboro's.

39:27 Adam Yeah, and I would just take off.

39:28 Drew Surprise me.

39:31 Adam Has there ever been a man that's ever said, surprise me?

39:33 Drew Never.

39:34 Adam Not a straight man that's ever said, surprise me.

39:36 Drew Oh my God.

39:37 Adam When a guy's making a run.

39:37 Goldfinger Hey, do you want a beer? Sure, surprise me.

39:40 Adam Yeah, well that's a wine cooler. All right, let's see, Goldfinger here tonight. We'll take ourselves a quick break. Be right back after this. Hello, what is it?

39:52 Caller This is Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

40:09 Adam Hey, everybody, it's the Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1. Kelly Hu in here tomorrow night. John and Darren in here from Goldfinger tonight.

40:19 Goldfinger Hello, how are you?

40:21 Adam Notice name of the new CD. We'll hear something else off of that in the 11 o'clock hour. So a couple things to cover. First off, Darren brought us some lottery tickets, some fantasy five tickets as a gift tonight. Big $26 million.

40:36 Goldfinger It's a unique gift.

40:37 Adam It's awesome. And a plan on winning. Drew, you know how you'll know I won?

40:42 Goldfinger You won't show up to work. You won't show up.

40:43 Drew That's right.

40:44 Adam No, I'll show up, you know, kiss my ass and then I'll go home. But you'll know, I'll be yelling kiss my ass.

40:48 Goldfinger No, take a crap right there and then walk out.

40:51 Adam That's already my crapping area, Darren.

40:53 Drew Relax, Darren.

40:54 Goldfinger Yeah, that's where I crapped. Well, I should tell a story about where John craps.

40:57 Adam Well, really?

40:58 Goldfinger John craps on the bus in the bunk area on a plate.

41:02 Caller I can crap anywhere on command.

41:03 Goldfinger I swear to God. He did it the other day. I saw him do it. I saw it exit his body and the bus smelled for about 25 minutes.

41:12 Caller We signed the plate and someone took it, too.

41:15 Drew You guys are proms.

41:15 Goldfinger Really?

41:16 That's hardcore.

41:18 Goldfinger Unbelievable.

41:19 Caller What are you going to do?

41:19 Adam Wow.

41:20 Goldfinger Anyway, so you're going to win 28.

41:23 Adam Yeah, here's what I was going to say, because there are a couple of things to talk about before we do the little Goldfinger rotation. One is, I always get pissed at this government, the society, the state, when they make a big deal over gambling on football, or you can gamble on horses, but you can't do it on dogs, or you can't play blackjack, we can play pie-gow poker, and then comes the lottery. I was just watching television the other night, and I happened upon the lottery channel, where they have that, it's always some poor, disenfranchised guy. A guy looks like he's sunblasted for mowing lawns for 40 years, and there's a ping pong ball that's fallen out of the hopper, and it's bouncing around, and it could land in the $35,000 one, or could land in the $5,000, or could land in the zero one. And he's yelling, let it go, and it's bouncing around. And then one does land in the 35 grand one, but he goes for another, and another ball lands in the 35, and now he's out $35,000. I thought, this is all right. This is okay. No problems with this as a government. We sanction this wholeheartedly. Guys will never see 35K in their entire life. No problem getting these guys to go out and buy tickets. No problem having these guys just gambling on what essentially is their kids' college education, or the most, these are guys that make $9, $10 an hour if they're lucky.

42:46 Caller But are there casinos everywhere? I mean, don't you see casinos everywhere? What is that? What are they?

42:50 Adam I don't know. You're playing against other people. You're not playing against the house. It's so ridiculous. And people make this argument with the drugs. Well, whiskey is legal. How come marijuana isn't? The gambling thing is a thousand times more retarded than that. Because one could make the argument that there's no greater form of chance gambling than the lottery.

43:13 Drew And that's the one we go for.

43:15 Adam Yeah. And then you win the Super Lotto thing and you're standing there while a ping pong ball is bouncing around, deciding whether you're going to go home with $70K or $0. That's fine. No problem there.

43:26 Drew And the horse racing, that's good.

43:28 Adam Horse racing's fine. Dog racing, not really. Cockfighting, forget about it.

43:32 Drew Texas holding poker, very good.

43:34 Adam That's fine. PieGao poker's fine. But we let Blackjack. Oh, how dare you. We'll break off and fall into the bank. Of course.

43:43 Drew And Krabs, forget it.

43:44 Adam Yeah. And you couldn't possibly wager on sports. That would be well. Just use your imagination. Think what kind of society would. But by the way, there's already $50 billion wagered on the Super Bowl every year. We seem to be just fine. I just don't understand it either. If you're going to make something illegal, fine. Stop having the government do so much of it. That be awesome? That's a fine example they all set. Anyway.

44:07 Goldfinger Are you going to change your tune when you win the $28 million?

44:09 Adam Yes. Yes, I will. I'll be standing there screaming. I love the government. That's my ping pong ball. And another thing that was interesting, John, who's very, very conscientious, does not not into meat or fur or any of that. It's now taken to a new level with this biodiesel and something I'm interested in.

44:30 Caller So yeah, yeah, I just I actually found out about it. And my wife's a huge Willie Nelson fan. And I found out he had the car that I wanted in Hawaii and was running on 100 percent biodiesel, which is just all soybean, which I mean, I'm sure you heard about the whole fast food. People like just just putting, you know, basically French fry grease in their cars, just kind of starting out that way into a diesel car. And I did the research. I went on biodiesel.org and I found the guy that supplies the LA area dropped off a tank at my house. I did no modifications to my to my car. I just have a straight diesel car and I just put, you know, basically, you know, soybean oil in it. It's no fossil fuel whatsoever. You grow it right here in America.

45:14 Goldfinger Zero emissions, right?

45:15 Caller Same exact price. Exactly. Because diesel cars run about a third longer. I mean, the gas will last about a third longer than regular unleaded fuel. And so, I mean, maybe if it's about 280, maybe three bucks a gallon, it works out to about the same, you know, when you're going to factor it in.

45:32 Adam And oh, shut up, fuel house. I'm enjoying this. And you got to pump it yourself though, right?

45:37 Caller Well, I have an electric pump. It plugs in the wall and it's just like a gas station pump. I mean, it's just like, I fill it up.

45:43 Adam What about the emissions that come out? Does it burn like regular diesel?

45:47 Caller It smells a little like you're in a kitchen, a little bit like you're in a kitchen. It's nothing like, I mean, there's... Is it bad for the environment? Not even. Not even close.

45:54 Drew Bad for the car? We're in terror?

45:56 Caller Nothing. They start, I mean, biodiesel started out as like something to clean your engine with, as an additive. So, I mean, I've had my car for, I don't know, eight months. I got nothing. I cannot believe it. The LA is so green.

46:07 Goldfinger For the average consumer, how much more would it cost to buy a car, a normal car that burns unleaded to a biodiesel? How much more extra?

46:14 Caller I don't know. I just bought, I just got a diesel car.

46:16 Caller You gotta get a diesel car.

46:17 Adam Yeah, you wouldn't convert it. But, you know, actually, the fast food places ought to get behind this. Because like, Drew, if you were driving behind John's car with your window down, you'd be like, I gotta get some fries. I'm hungry.

46:32 Caller I would leave her. I could smell my car.

46:34 Adam All right.

46:35 Caller I could smell Darren.

46:36 Adam There's Mike, too.

46:38 Goldfinger Maybe I could just put a hose in my ass and then drive, keep farting and just, I mean, have it and out all day long.

46:45 Adam It's a perfect note to go out on, Darren. All right. We're going to do a little changing of the guards, a little Goldfinger guard. We'll take a quick break. Be right back after this.

46:54 Caller All right, guys.

46:55 Caller Here's the deal.

46:56 Caller You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

46:59 Caller One call is all you need to make.

47:01 Caller Call the Dateline.

47:02 Caller 877-889-DATE.

47:04 Drew Call the Dateline.

47:05 Caller 1-800-CALL-

47:07 Caller Love 191.

47:27 Adam Yeah, buddy, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. I'm just thinking Kelly and Brian in here from Goldfinger. Did a little change in the guard from good old Darren and John CD. Disconnection notice. I was thinking about, I started laughing because my dog has like a cut on its head. And my...

47:52 Drew It sure is funny.

47:53 Adam It's, yeah, it's a stupid cut. It's not, it's nothing.

47:55 Caller Does he have the cone of shame on?

47:57 Adam No, he doesn't have the cone on. He should have. I'd like to put the cone on him. I would like to put the cone on that lamp shade on him.

48:03 Caller We make Darren wear the cone sometimes.

48:05 Adam Yeah. Well, you should be wearing that around his waist, like Judy Chessett.

48:08 Drew I was just thinking mental notes.

48:09 Adam Yeah.

48:10 Drew We usually see his ass pressed against the window around this time.

48:12 Adam Wow. Getting close. And not just the ass.

48:16 Caller The pressed ham.

48:16 Adam A little backside sack. So the dog has a little cut on its head. And, you know, my wife is like, oh, my God, what do we do? Blood test. We got to get a man. I keep saying it's a dog. It's a dog. Be fine. Leave it alone. Leave it alone. Leave him alone. He'll be fine. She'll be fine. She gets out the back team. It's had enough. Gets out the back team and squirts the thing. Of course, now the dog's going nuts because it's got the back team in the thing. So the dog's rubbing its head on the carpet and scratching. Now, the thing's bleeding and there's blood all over the fur and everything because the dog had the back team on it. It's trying to lick it. It can't get to it. It's scraping it with its paws and now everything's been opened up and there's blood everywhere. And I told my wife, see what happens when you get involved with nature? Nothing. Like, look, the dog's entrails were hanging out. I'd be like, get away from the dog.

49:04 Caller He'll solve it.

49:05 Adam It's a dog. They will cope. They will find a way. So now she's guilted out. But I thought it was a good message I sent.

49:12 Drew Well done.

49:12 Adam And don't monkey. Don't monkey.

49:14 Drew All right. I already got a message was listen to Adam.

49:16 Adam I already got a blood test. It probably cost me 200 bucks. Is it? Oh, it's fat.

49:20 Drew Oh, no.

49:24 Caller Are you kidding me?

49:27 Adam My dog is so fat that when it was on the sofa tonight, you know, it's paws sort of stick straight out. They don't really rest on each other. It's just, I said, I told my wife, it looked like a pinata that was tipped over. It just looks like a, yeah, it's like you took a saw horse and just tipped it over on its side. It's the legs still sticking straight out in the air. Like you feel like it's just like, that's an end table. It got knocked over. It's a piece of furniture. What, was there a fight in the house? The dog got knocked over. Put the dog back on its feet. Mom's going to know we're wrestling.

49:54 Drew Set it back up.

49:55 Adam All right. Goldfinger, everybody. Yeah. Exciting. Just like the old days.

50:02 Caller Back in the day.

50:03 Adam Yeah. Kelly, how long has it been for you?

50:07 Caller Since I've done what?

50:08 Adam Goldfinger. How long? How long has Goldfinger been?

50:10 Caller It's going to be about seven and a half years now.

50:12 Adam Yeah. So, and Brian, what about you?

50:14 Caller Three.

50:15 Drew Three years.

50:16 Adam So Brian's the new guy.

50:18 Caller They still actually leave me at truck stops and things like that. We all spot him.

50:22 Adam Yeah.

50:22 Drew Taping the things.

50:24 Adam Yeah.

50:24 Drew Friend times.

50:25 Adam Cramp on a plate. Yeah.

50:26 Drew Making me do it.

50:27 Adam All right. Oh, true. Samantha?

50:30 Yeah.

50:31 Adam What's up?

50:32 Well, okay. My question is, should I really get on bird control? Yes.

50:37 Adam Yeah. We're going with yeah. Why?

50:38 Drew Why wouldn't you?

50:39 Because I think, like, for me, it's like a major lifestyle change. Because. And I have to do it for the rest of my life.

50:47 Drew No, you don't.

50:48 Adam You know. But listen, I'm going to do that. I'm going to play the man here. Well, you know what kind of lifestyle change getting pregnant is, Missy? You want to talk about cramping your style? That's a lifestyle change. You got a head poking out your vagina. That's a lifestyle change right there. You got the 5 a.m. feeding. That's a lifestyle change.

51:06 Drew The dangers of pregnancy are far greater than the dangers of taking a birth control pill.

51:10 Oh yeah, but for a guy, it's easier to wear a condom for like 10 minutes and then that's it.

51:15 Adam 10 minutes?

51:15 Caller 10 minutes.

51:17 Adam Oh, I mean, yeah, that's not very long. That's what I meant.

51:21 Drew 45 minutes.

51:22 Adam Yeah, yeah.

51:22 Drew So your preference is that your boyfriend wear a condom?

51:25 Adam He only goes through one in 10 minutes?

51:27 Drew Yeah, one.

51:28 Caller Wow.

51:28 Drew Yeah.

51:28 Adam Wow, economical.

51:30 Drew Yeah.

51:30 Caller Yeah.

51:31 Drew And so what's the problem? Is he not willing to do that?

51:33 Well, he doesn't want to.

51:35 Drew He doesn't want to?

51:36 No.

51:36 Drew Well, you know, well, listen, what you don't realize as a woman is you hold all the cards. So it's very simple. You just say, oh, you don't want to? Well, that's it.

51:43 Adam Yeah. Here's the problem.

51:44 Drew Believe me, I'll put the condom on.

51:45 Adam Here's the problem, though. I'm guessing that he's not, you guys aren't like a young Jewish couple, right? No. No?

51:51 Drew What?

51:52 Adam Have you heard of Jews? Here's what I'm saying.

51:54 Drew Where they call him from?

51:55 Adam You, Long Beach. Samantha. Yeah. Here's the problem. This guy is a horny, he doesn't like condoms and he's used to having sex.

52:04 Drew And he's dictating, yeah.

52:06 Adam He may wear condoms the next five outings, but believe me, you guys are going to be somewhere. You'll be at the movie theater, you'll be on the way, you'll be camping, you'll be somewhere. He's not going to have the condom, and you guys are going to get it on anyway, and that's when you get pregnant. Yes? That's how it's going to go. And you're not going to be able to enforce this condom zone the way you'd like every time. That's why you get on the pill.

52:31 Drew If that happens the way Adam describes it, and or if a condom falls off or something, you get that morning after pill.

52:37 Adam All right, Samantha?

52:39 Yeah.

52:40 Adam Samantha?

52:41 Caller Yeah.

52:42 Adam What are you looking to get into in life?

52:48 Caller I don't know yet.

52:50 Adam Okay. All right. See, no plan makes you much more fertile as well. Like if you told me you're going to be a podiatrist, you couldn't be pregnant till you're in your 30s. But now the I have no plan. Game on. You may be pregnant now.

53:02 Caller Well, maybe go to college for a while.

53:05 Adam Yeah.

53:05 Drew For a while. All right.

53:06 Adam Check that out. And meanwhile, please get on get on some birth control. I can I can hear when someone's going to get pregnant.

53:13 Drew At least get the morning after pill around. Please use that.

53:16 Adam Please do.

53:17 Drew You know what that is?

53:18 Adam Now, listen, the less of a plan you have, the more the more the seed takes.

53:22 Drew Yes, I know.

53:23 Adam I don't know how that goes. It's like the more evil you are, the more bullets you can hold without dying. What is that?

53:30 Drew We used to call that when I was in training the law of inverse worth.

53:33 Adam Right.

53:33 Drew The less worthwhile you were, the more probably we were to survive an extreme, horrible situations.

53:38 Adam Oh, yeah. No, I mean, listen, 50 cent. You get shot nine times. He goes out and plays a paintball, ironically, right after that. And I mean, with the bullets in him. Kennedy, Lincoln, boo. One bullet, they're in the ground.

53:51 Caller It's the Keith Richards cockroach syndrome.

53:53 Adam That's right. You can't kill him. You cannot kill Keith Richards or a cockroach. Ironically, a cockroach could probably take Keith Richards down.

54:01 Drew Easily.

54:01 Adam Easily take him.

54:02 Drew But not kill him.

54:03 Adam Yeah. What happened to Keith? He was wrestled to the ground by a cockroach. Almost killed him. Actually made love to him. Being raped by a cockroach.

54:11 Caller Wrote a song about it goes like this.

54:12 That's right. Thank God.

54:14 Adam It fueled this. It serves as an inspiration. It was creative energy. Yeah. All right. Let's speak to Steve.

54:22 Caller Hello?

54:23 Adam Yeah. Your condom broke?

54:26 Caller Yeah.

54:27 Goldfinger Yikes.

54:28 Adam Really? You're 18.

54:31 Caller I didn't orgasm or anything. But my girlfriend was freaked out that the pre-ejaculants could get her pregnant. She's just been freaking out lately.

54:41 Drew Well, she's right. But why didn't you guys take the morning after pill right away?

54:44 Caller She didn't want to. Oh.

54:46 Drew Well, then there's no point in freaking out then. Nothing she can do about it. She could have prevented it by taking the morning after pill.

54:53 Caller Yeah. She freaked out and she didn't want to tell anybody. She didn't want to do anything.

54:58 Adam Steve?

54:59 Caller Yeah.

54:59 Adam I don't believe you. Sounds like a virgin to me. I don't trust this kid.

55:05 Caller Or his sister.

55:06 Drew Yeah.

55:07 Caller All right.

55:07 Adam So what are you going to do?

55:09 Drew One 888-NOT-2, number 2 late. You can call them, get referred to a place where she can get it and get it for her. And how long ago did this happen?

55:16 Caller Friday.

55:18 Drew Steve? Gone. Yes.

55:21 Adam So you hang up?

55:22 Drew Goodbye.

55:22 Adam All right. Was that Fogus?

55:24 Drew What's that? Oh, he said why?

55:25 He's still on. He said Friday.

55:27 Drew Friday. So we couldn't hear it. Oh, okay. All right. So yes, you can get the morning after pill tonight, and you can protect her reasonably from pregnancy.

55:35 Adam Steve?

55:36 Drew The risks are rather low with the pre-com, but with the way it's gone down with you. But you can take the risk very much lower by taking the morning after pill, call that number, get it tonight, and that's it. Then it's over.

55:46 Adam Steve? You do what I do, which is you crush it up and put it in her yo-play. All right? If she's not going to take it. All right. There's no harm in that. Steve sounds like a delight, by the way. Drew, ethically, what do you think about my plan? Crush it up and feed it on.

56:04 Drew I have to think about it. It certainly sounds good though, right? Sounds pretty good to me. On some levels, it's good because you're rescuing somebody, you're saving them from themselves.

56:12 Adam Yeah.

56:12 Drew And the other people have a right to control their own.

56:14 Adam Yeah. But what if it was a medicine? You know what I'm saying?

56:17 Drew Like what she was demented and she had taken medicines, we just crushed it up and put it in her food, right?

56:20 Adam She wasn't taking her medicines, you'd put it in her food, right?

56:22 Drew It's the same thing. Her thinking is off. She's not clearly about this.

56:25 Adam What about my dog? She didn't want the Bactine on her head, but she got it anyway.

56:28 Drew Don't mess.

56:29 Adam Don't mess. You want your dog to take something, you crush it up, put it in the Gainsburger, right?

56:34 Drew Exactly.

56:34 Adam That's right. Yeah. Well, why? Because we know better. And let me tell you something. I know people think this is a very slippery slope. There's a lot of idiots out there. I got pets that are smarter than a lot of the folks that are calling this show. How about we just take control?

56:49 Caller If you rub their nose in it.

56:51 Adam Don't we have that anyway? Isn't that what government is? I mean, you got a guy, right? You got a mayor, you got a congressman, you have a president. These people that are supposed to know more than you. So they make decisions for you, right? All right, how about we crush some of that up? Put it in your yogurt.

57:07 Caller Soylent green.

57:08 Adam Yeah, yeah. Chris, soylent green?

57:12 Drew No, no way.

57:14 Adam What? All right, there you go. That's good. Angela?

57:19 Caller Hey, what's up?

57:20 Adam Yeah, now hanging out with Chris will either make you feel like the smartest guy in the world or the oldest guy in the world.

57:25 Caller That's what I was going to say, the oldest.

57:26 Adam It all depends.

57:27 Drew Yeah, oldest.

57:29 Adam Angela?

57:30 Yeah.

57:30 Adam You're 22?

57:32 Caller Yeah.

57:33 Adam What's up?

57:33 Caller When I orgasm, I think I pee.

57:37 Drew Is it possibly having ejaculate instead of peeing?

57:39 Caller I don't know. I'm pretty sure it's coming out of that hole.

57:43 Drew The peeing, there is orgasmic incontinence, but most cases of peeing are with women that already have incontinence problem with urine. Do you leak urine when you laugh or sneeze?

57:53 Caller No.

57:54 Drew What was that?

57:55 Caller No.

57:56 Adam No. All right. And you say pee hole. Yeah. I'm going with pre-med.

58:03 Drew Junior college.

58:04 Adam Junior college? Yeah. Shocking. You hear you hear term terminologies like pee hole. You just these bells go off my head to junior college. The junior college bell just because pee hole is what you learn. And believe me, she didn't enter junior college knowing what a pee hole was. She had instructors, professors, teacher what a pee hole was. I don't think they know urethra. I think they call it pee hole.

58:27 Drew Have you have you sort of smelled urine when that whatever comes out comes out?

58:31 Caller No.

58:33 Drew Maybe it's a female ejaculation because women your age are a little more apt to have the female ejaculation. Are you on medication?

58:39 Caller No.

58:40 Adam A little depressed, sweetie pie?

58:42 Caller No.

58:43 Drew Is your boyfriend bothered by what comes out?

58:45 Caller No. All right.

58:47 Adam Are you tired?

58:48 Caller He thinks it's come.

58:50 Drew I think that's what it is.

58:51 Adam Either way, something's coming out.

58:52 Caller Do you have an agent?

58:54 Adam An agent?

58:57 Drew Yes, just an agent. Strangely enough.

58:59 Adam You sound attractive, Laura. You good looking?

59:00 Drew Angela.

59:01 Adam Oh, who are we talking to? Oh, sorry, Angela. You good looking?

59:04 Drew Yeah. We bothered her.

59:06 Adam No, I'll tell you. Yes, you can tell good looking because good looking calls your show and then acts like she was at a theater and you called her. Very aloof. Huh? What? No. You're bugging me. No, no. Does it does it does it happen? Or no? Is your boyfriend? No. You got to get the sun. So put upon. Sorry. The hot sun. Sorry, Your Majesty. We didn't mean to disturb you. You can you can go. We didn't mean to interrupt your mirror time. You want to go back to stroke in your hair 100 times before you go to bed. 50 on each side. One, two, three.

59:40 Drew Her handmaids do that.

59:41 Adam Yeah.

59:42 Drew All right.

59:42 Adam Just go back to your life, would you? Get get in your bathing suit and stand in front of the mirror.

59:46 Drew It's OK. It's normal.

59:47 Adam Sorry for bothering you.

59:48 Drew It's real. Relax. All good.

59:49 Adam All right. It's you can always tell the hot chicks is they just have the fat chicks like, how y'all doing tonight? Sorry, Tammy. Sorry for putting you on hold for 177. It's OK. I'm enjoying the show.

1:00:04 Caller I made you some cookies.

1:00:05 Adam I made some cookies. Although I ate them on hold. Big fan of Dr. Drew. When y'all coming out, Tennessee?

1:00:11 Caller I'd love to see you.

1:00:12 Adam Yeah, that's you get. But the hot chicks, you get it's like, it's like, how long have you two been dating? So put upon, you know, it's like, I have to open my mouth. Yeah.

1:00:25 Caller You're supposed to read their minds.

1:00:27 Adam You should know. Yeah. By the way, you should just be basking in their hotness.

1:00:31 Drew Right. What's with all the answers from which they requested? They want answer.

1:00:35 Adam Yeah.

1:00:35 Drew They've come to you for answer.

1:00:36 Adam They want answer. Yes. You're poking around.

1:00:38 Drew The Queen has not addressed you. The Queen has not asked you to be addressing her. Just ask for an answer.

1:00:43 Adam It came out of my pee-hole. All right. Look, don't bother going to junior. Look, if you're a hot chick who's angry and stupid, don't waste your time over at junior college. Just get hitched up and go do something or open a boutique or do something, make purses. Marry a rich guy. Marry a rich guy. By the way, you think you're going to meet a rich guy at junior college? You can't even find poor guys at junior college. They don't even make enough money to be poor. You got a better chance of meeting a rich guy. Go hop the fence at the local prison or better yet, the morgue. There you go. You're not going to meet any guy that makes any money at junior college. I don't know what the average income is of a junior college male student.

1:01:30 Drew It has to be zero.

1:01:32 Adam Well.

1:01:32 Drew It has to be approaching zero.

1:01:33 Caller Not if they're selling weed on the street.

1:01:35 Adam Yeah. It's going to say.

1:01:36 Drew Legal income.

1:01:37 Adam Be fair. There's a little weed income, but that usually goes right back into the business, if you know what I'm saying. So whatever profit they made by Smoke for free. Whacking up that ounce they got went right back into the balls. Okay. All right. Just look. If you're a good looking chick, if you're a good looking chick and you're going to a four year place, that may be, may be, but junior college, please. Yeah.

1:01:57 Caller I heard Hooters is hiring.

1:01:59 Adam That's right. Laura?

1:02:00 Drew She said, Hooters airplane in the airstrip in New York the other day.

1:02:03 Adam Yeah.

1:02:04 Drew Airplane. Yeah. The airline.

1:02:05 Caller Do the stewardesses have to wear those little?

1:02:07 Drew I have no idea. It was out in the middle of the tarmac.

1:02:08 Caller They have to wear those tights they make them wear or whatever this?

1:02:11 Adam Yeah. The idea, by the way, that I have a successful business, I'm looking to branch out, let's go into the airline.

1:02:18 Drew All right.

1:02:19 Adam Especially in this time and security and clearances and all this.

1:02:23 Drew Let's go to one industry that just cannot turn profitable. Is it actually Hooters Airlines or do they just paint one of the airlines? I don't know.

1:02:30 Adam I don't know. But I do think everyone who goes into the airline industry or most that go in at this point do it just as a sort of a...

1:02:38 Drew Marketing thing.

1:02:38 Adam Yeah. It's like you own a car company.

1:02:41 Drew It's vanity.

1:02:41 Adam You start a race team. You're not going to make any money off it, but it's great. The clients go out to the track. You get to go, you know, it's a show off thing. Free Red Bull. Right. You starting an airline just means your company that started the airline has a ton of money and it now can siphon some off. All right. That being said, I'd like to book that Hooters Air, yeah?

1:03:02 Drew They only serve wings.

1:03:04 Adam Yeah. Wings. Ironically. Wings.

1:03:07 Drew I wonder if they serve that kind of stuff on the plane.

1:03:10 Adam One would think, I mean, wouldn't you think you get some-

1:03:13 Drew I was in Newark. It was here in the middle of town. Oh, well that makes sense now. Yeah, it does kind of.

1:03:17 Adam When were you there? Yesterday?

1:03:18 Drew Monday.

1:03:19 Adam Sorry. Monday. I love Newark. Oh, all right. Laura?

1:03:23 Yeah.

1:03:24 Adam You're 19?

1:03:25 Caller Yes, I am.

1:03:26 Adam What's up?

1:03:28 Caller I was wondering how IUDs work, the copper tone ones that don't have any hormones.

1:03:32 Drew They just irritate the line of the uterus basically, so the egg can't implant. Yeah. It's basically how it works. Or it makes it difficult for the sperm to get up there, to get to the egg. It is one of these birth control methods that does maybe impair implantation. Strangely, there's little activity against it.

1:03:53 Adam The right to life is not coming out against it.

1:03:57 Drew Indeed, most of them do have a hormonal impregnated and have other kinds of mechanisms of action, but certain affecting implantation is one of them.

1:04:05 Adam Yeah. That's the thing they don't like?

1:04:07 Drew That's what they don't like. They don't like an egg and sperm that's been joined not having a chance of turning into a child.

1:04:12 Adam So the egg and the sperm have met, but they're looking for a little nest to plant, and this prevents that.

1:04:19 Drew Which is not how the morning after pill works. The Emerged Contraception acts by preventing the egg from being released, so the sperm never finds an egg.

1:04:27 Adam Right.

1:04:28 Drew So they should not have an issue with that.

1:04:29 Adam Well, here's what I've figured out, which is the RU486, the abortion pill, has confused the entire world, or at least the stupid part, which is the United States into thinking that the morning after pill is the same as an abortion pill. So it was five years of just trying to separate the two.

1:04:49 Drew Right.

1:04:50 Adam Now that they've been separated, and we've talked about this before, the Right to Life folks aren't so much interested in life as they are in sort of control, and they're angry, and they're weird.

1:05:01 Drew And young people not having sex, which is fine if that's their campaign.

1:05:04 Adam But just go ahead and say it.

1:05:05 Drew Let's go for that, yeah.

1:05:06 Adam Yeah, because you would think, and here's how you know the folks are hypocrites, you spend your life trying to stop abortion, and you're calling it murder, and you're crying, and you're shooting doctors in extreme cases.

1:05:21 Drew That's my favorite.

1:05:22 Adam And you're picketing and all that stuff because this is murder. Okay, now some guy comes out with a pill, says, guess what? Here's a pill the chick can take 72 hours after the unprotected intercourse, and we won't have to have one of your hated abortions. And they go, nah, we're against it.

1:05:39 Drew We don't trust that, it can't be right.

1:05:41 Adam We're against that, we're against it. It's like, what? Imagine if you applied that theorem to anything else. You've been trying to stomp out rodents in New York City or something your entire life. And then somebody says, hey, here's a way that's gonna, there's something that's gonna significantly impact that problem. And you go, not interested. No, I don't want to see that. No, no, this is revolutionary. No, no, keep going. Well, no, we're gonna sell this in the, we're gonna sell this at the hardware store. No, you're not. I'm gonna go protest, make sure you don't. It's like, what? Now, your next thought is how interested is in the, in stomping out roads is this person actually?

1:06:16 Drew Right. They're interested in something else.

1:06:17 Adam They're interested in something else. They should go ahead and say that. If they went ahead and said it, we'd stop listening to them.

1:06:23 Drew That's their fear. Well, maybe that's their fear. But they said, I think they'd have something interesting to say.

1:06:28 Adam At least it's an honest opinion, which is I didn't get laid in high school. I resent other people or I'm a religious person. And it bothers me to have people have intercourse without the bonding of marriage and all that kind of stuff. That's fine. But they don't want to come out that way because they come out that way. People go, ah, you're religious. Keep your religion to yourself. We don't want to hear you.

1:06:50 Drew And Laura, the IEDs are back, if you noticed. And they were certainly for a long time not intended for women that have never been pregnant before. They were only being used to women that had babies because of the risk of tubal infections and fertility problems. But those problems seem to have been controlled now. So it is something reasonable for young women to do. It still scares me because I saw so many horrible problems when I was in training. But it looks reasonable.

1:07:12 Adam You have to pull me out of there?

1:07:14 Goldfinger You have to go in?

1:07:15 Drew It's pretty easy. There's a wire and you just yank it.

1:07:17 Adam Oh really?

1:07:17 Drew Yeah.

1:07:19 Adam You ever yanked the wrong wire in the woman in flights like a zodiac? Damn it! Pinsky! What the?

1:07:25 Drew And in this...

1:07:26 Adam It's so clearly marked too! All right, listen. And Drew yells, look, we could argue or we could get in. Now start paddling! Is that how it worked, Drew?

1:07:35 Drew Well, it said in an emergency.

1:07:36 Adam Right. All right. Goldfinger in studio tonight. We're gonna play a new song, another new song off their fantastic new CD, Disconnection Notice. We'll hear it after this.

1:07:50 Caller Hello.

1:07:51 Caller This is your radio.

1:07:53 Caller Loveline will be ready.

1:08:19 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Kelly Hu in here. Hot Asian broad. Tomorrow night.

1:08:30 Drew Well, I'm still looking for men with diabetes with erectile problems and women on meds or birth control with painful intercourse. Brian has that kind of stuff.

1:08:38 Adam Well, you got four of them in this room. Kelly and Brian are...

1:08:41 Drew And we had two. Kelly Hu.

1:08:43 Adam Kelly Hu.

1:08:44 Drew Darren, you know.

1:08:45 Adam Darren, yeah. Well, he doesn't have painful erections. He can't have erections anymore. Oh, yeah.

1:08:50 Drew He's gay.

1:08:52 Adam Yeah.

1:08:52 Drew Yeah.

1:08:53 Adam You can't get an erection.

1:08:54 Drew You're screaming over the vagina.

1:08:55 Caller He's like the human, like, air raid siren.

1:08:57 Drew It's like vavum.

1:08:58 Adam Yeah, vavum. Kelly and Brian, both in here from Goldfinger. A disconnection notice. Name of the new CD. We're going to hear some. We'll take one call. We'll hear a Goldfinger song.

1:09:08 Drew Chris, Chris, vavum?

1:09:10 Adam Yeah.

1:09:10 Drew You know vavum? No, he doesn't know vavum. No way.

1:09:12 Adam He doesn't know vavum.

1:09:13 Drew Felix the Cat?

1:09:14 Caller Yeah, I remember Felix the Cat.

1:09:16 Drew Yeah.

1:09:17 Adam All right. Casey, you'll never know. Casey, you're 14.

1:09:22 Caller Yeah.

1:09:23 Adam What's up?

1:09:25 Caller When I was eight, I was raped by my brother, and I wanted to know if it would affect my relationships.

1:09:30 Adam Hold on a second. Let me just work this in. Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

1:09:34 Drew Of course. Was that a one-time thing or repeated thing?

1:09:38 Caller That was a one-time thing.

1:09:40 Drew Well, do you have still nightmares and flashbacks?

1:09:42 Adam Wait a minute. How does that happen one time? Did you tell somebody about it?

1:09:47 Caller I only told a couple of friends like a few years later.

1:09:50 Drew That sounds like a brother with mental illness.

1:09:52 Adam How old? How much older is your brother? You're 14. How old is he?

1:09:55 Caller He's like 24.

1:09:57 Adam He's 10 years older?

1:09:59 Caller Yeah.

1:10:00 Drew And he was 18? You were 8?

1:10:02 Caller Yeah.

1:10:03 Drew Does somebody do something to him, do you know?

1:10:06 Caller I don't think so.

1:10:07 Drew Does he have like bipolar or schizophrenia or something?

1:10:12 Caller No.

1:10:12 Drew Was he a drug addict?

1:10:14 Caller No.

1:10:15 Adam Okay. Well, obviously, it's one of these things where it's kind of math you can't argue with. When you're 18, you decide to have sex with your 8-year-old kid sister, obviously, there's a mental deficiency going on. Absolutely. So, where is he now? Oh, everyone get ready. Does he have kids?

1:10:33 Caller No.

1:10:34 Drew Good.

1:10:35 Adam Where is he now?

1:10:35 Drew He works in a nursery school. Army.

1:10:37 Adam He's in the Army.

1:10:38 Caller He was in the Army like two months ago.

1:10:40 Drew Perfect. That's good.

1:10:41 Adam Then I'm going to rape some Iraqis.

1:10:43 Drew All right. It has affect you. Well, sometimes single episodes don't have a lot of effect. They can give you a post-traumatic stress reaction. You can have flashbacks, sleep problems, and you certainly will have difficulties around men, but it doesn't mean you're doomed to chronic character problems and personalities, issues and mood problems.

1:11:03 Adam Here's what dooms you. Growing up in a family with an 18-year-old rape, it's not the rape itself, but the guy who would think to do that. The parents, you know, where's your day? Oh, she's calling from Florida.

1:11:14 Drew Yeah.

1:11:14 Adam That's trouble enough.

1:11:16 Goldfinger America's Wang.

1:11:17 Adam Where?

1:11:17 Caller I'm born in Florida. I moved here from Russia.

1:11:21 Adam Oh, maybe worse.

1:11:23 Drew How? Was this all happened in Russia?

1:11:26 Caller No, we just moved here a couple of months and then it happened.

1:11:29 Adam Well, people celebrate in different ways.

1:11:31 Drew Have you called here before?

1:11:32 Caller No.

1:11:33 Drew Remember, we had a call kind of like this in Russia, didn't we, Greg?

1:11:36 Adam Yeah. Okay, so... All right.

1:11:38 Drew Here's the most important thing about Casey, is that you get help for this.

1:11:40 Adam Can you do that?

1:11:42 Drew Yeah. I know it's a pain and I know you don't want to dig back into it and I know it's somehow shameful and you feel like you're responsible and so all these crazy things. The fact is, this is something that you were victimized as you were a victim and there are things that can be done to help you with whatever effects it might have on you that can be diminished. They can reduce the effects it has in your life, right? Or even eliminate them.

1:12:03 Adam All right. But here's your thing, Casey. You're smart. Bilingual, right?

1:12:09 Drew All right.

1:12:09 Adam That's good. I used to think that just meant you spoke Mexican. Point is...

1:12:16 Drew That's probably true, isn't it?

1:12:18 Adam Listen, I am telling you that if you ask most of our Southern California...

1:12:22 Drew What does bilingual mean?...

1:12:23 Adam listeners what does bilingual mean? It's like he...

1:12:25 Drew You speak Spanish...

1:12:26 Adam .speaks white guy and Mexican. I didn't think they would say Spanish.

1:12:31 Drew Right, say Mexican.

1:12:32 Adam And I wouldn't say... he wouldn't say speaks, he'd say talks. He talks white and Mexican.

1:12:38 Drew He talks in Mexican and he talks in English.

1:12:41 Adam Well, bilingual, that means he goes down on dudes and chicks. Alright.

1:12:47 Drew Let's get her to say something.

1:12:48 Adam Casey. Alright. Now, here's the thing, whenever someone speaks another language and you go, say something, they always answer, what do you want me to say? And you go, say anything, and they go, well, like what? And it gets volleyed back and forth. Let's see if it worked. Casey.

1:13:03 Drew Describe them.

1:13:04 Adam Say something in Russian.

1:13:06 Caller Привет, как ты делаешь сегодня?

1:13:08 Adam Oh.

1:13:09 Drew Describe you with this...

1:13:10 Adam Call you fat.

1:13:11 Drew Describe, no. Describe the area where you're from in Russia.

1:13:15 Caller Молдово.

1:13:15 Drew But keep going. Where is that in Russian?

1:13:17 Caller Not too many people know of it, but it's really...

1:13:19 Drew I know, but say it in Russian.

1:13:20 Adam They do it in Russian. It's very romantic for us.

1:13:23 Caller It's near Europe.

1:13:25 Adam See, I speak Russian. That was English.

1:13:26 Drew That was English. I understood her.

1:13:28 Adam I thought I spoke Russian for a second. It was awesome. I was like, my God, I speak it. Yeah. It's like one of those movies where they're speaking German in the submarine and then they flip over at a certain point and they start speaking English, but thick accent, but you understand.

1:13:42 Caller They're Russian, but they have an English accent.

1:13:44 Adam Yeah. All right, Casey. Well, look, you're smart. Your brother only did this to you one time. I think you're going to have to get some help.

1:13:55 Drew Yeah, come on.

1:13:56 Adam You don't have to be scarred by it.

1:13:58 Drew Right.

1:13:59 Caller Well, I was just wondering because I hear all these callers calling in all the time saying, oh, I was raped by my brother and then-

1:14:05 Drew Well, then it read they were sexually abused means they were repeatedly abused and that has shattering effects on people's personality development. And then there by how they conduct themselves, their relationships and young adults.

1:14:15 Adam Yours is one time.

1:14:16 Drew Yours is one time where it's going to have effects. It doesn't have to be shattering.

1:14:19 Adam Right.

1:14:19 Drew And you can be treated.

1:14:21 Adam Certain wonder if Russians are a little more effed up than we gave them credit for in the past.

1:14:27 Drew Duh.

1:14:28 Adam Yeah.

1:14:28 Drew Well, compare them to us.

1:14:30 Adam Saying yes or no duh?

1:14:32 Caller No, I'm saying yes in Russian.

1:14:34 Drew Yeah. But compare to us, right?

1:14:36 Adam Is it that much worse?

1:14:38 Drew What if our people start. Could you tell Casey from any of other colors? You know what I'm saying?

1:14:42 Adam Well, she spoke Russian.

1:14:43 Drew Right. She's smarter.

1:14:44 Adam I got that part. No, I'm just. I'm starting to hear stories. I just think they've been traumatized.

1:14:52 Drew Yes.

1:14:52 Adam I think it's highly traumatizing. Between the winter and the government.

1:14:55 Drew And the Second World War too.

1:14:56 Adam And the Second World War.

1:14:57 Drew Stalin.

1:14:58 Adam And Stalin. I'm just wondering if they're all a little.

1:15:02 Drew Paranoid. Yeah.

1:15:03 Adam They do a fair amount of boozing in that region.

1:15:05 Drew No, it's hard. And then they act out on their kids and stuff. Sure.

1:15:08 Yeah.

1:15:10 Drew Then they come here.

1:15:12 Adam But listen, we can't judge. Communism, that's an awesome form of government. Worked out just fine.

1:15:18 Drew I've got a friend who's Yugoslavian. She talks about the Golden Age of Communism. I was like, what? She goes, Oh, absolutely. And her Tito is fantastic. It's like the Golden Age.

1:15:27 Adam Yeah. I loved it, by the way. And Chris thinks Tito is one of the Jackson's. I know.

1:15:33 Drew Chris Tito?

1:15:34 Adam When people, when Reagan said, called him an evil empire, everyone went nuts. Everyone in this country went nuts. Like, oh my God, how could you say that? Just because they wall in a bunch of people in East Berlin and don't shoot them when they try to get into see their families in West Berlin, you can't call them evil.

1:15:51 Drew You can't judge. You can't judge. If you remember all the negativity about the Reagan presidency, it makes it difficult if you've lived through that to judge the Bush presidency. If you remember all the consternation about Reagan. Oh my god, he's an idiot, he's an a-hole, he's a war monger, he's a blow to the world up.

1:16:07 Adam They just invade Afghanistan and starve their own people. They create a gulag. You can't call them evil. You can't judge.

1:16:14 Drew You can't judge. You have no frame from which to judge us because we're evil.

1:16:19 Adam Reagan was like, oh, hey, these guys are white, I can judge. He was like, wow, this is awesome. And then it's like, you can't even judge white guys.

1:16:26 Drew No.

1:16:27 Adam You can't mess with other cultures. There are different colors and stuff because then you're just racist. But he saw this as an opportunity. Hey, these guys are evil and they're white. Awesome. That's this is going to be a layup. And he called them an evil empire and everyone was like, how dare you? Yeah. Oh, my God. There are people. Oh, yeah. I hate everyone. Let's hear a Goldfinger song. All right.

1:16:47 Drew We like Goldfinger at least.

1:16:48 Adam We do like Goldfinger. We love Goldfinger. We're going to hear a new song off their new CD, Disconnection, notice. And this one is called, oh, wait a minute. I'm looking at the first song. Yeah, this one is called Wasted. Yeah, Goldfinger, back with a venture.

1:20:08 Caller Thank you very much.

1:20:09 Adam It's great that you guys sound so good, because Goldfinger is a friend of the show, and it's nothing worse than them, friend of the show's coming back, and then laying down some crap.

1:20:17 Caller Some stinkers.

1:20:18 Adam You gotta go like, oh, hey, wow, I'll tell you that. Hey, Drew, that's something.

1:20:23 Caller Better luck next time.

1:20:24 Adam That's something right there, I'll tell you that.

1:20:25 Drew That was something.

1:20:26 Adam That was not nothing. That is something. Hey, good luck to you guys. Yeah.

1:20:30 Drew Well done.

1:20:31 Adam Yeah, they're gonna be at Cuffs down in Cerritos this weekend, playing four sets on Saturday and 11 sets on Sunday.

1:20:39 Caller Don't forget to tip your waitress.

1:20:40 Adam Tip your waitress, try the Buffalo Wings and check out a good friend's Goldfinger. All right, we gotta keep moving along with the program. Gonna hop back to the phones, Drew, before we have to pay some bills. Janelle?

1:20:54 Caller Yeah?

1:20:55 Adam 18, welcome to the program.

1:20:56 Caller Hi, how are you?

1:20:58 Adam What's happening?

1:21:00 Caller When I have intercourse, I cannot come. I've been having sex since I was 14 and I cannot come.

1:21:08 Drew That will make you normal. That only about 40 percent of women ever have orgasm with intercourse.

1:21:15 Caller Really?

1:21:15 Adam Well, you should have got started earlier by the way, 14.

1:21:18 Drew But the fact that it took you so long.

1:21:20 Adam You started about 11.

1:21:21 Drew The fact that you cannot, what?

1:21:23 Caller I had a boyfriend for three years after that. He was my first.

1:21:29 Drew The fact that you can have orgasms at all puts you actually ahead of most 18-year-olds. You're probably one of these people that will have them sometimes with intercourse, but that's actually an unusual thing for women.

1:21:41 Caller Okay, because just when I have sex with other guys, well, I'm not going out with my boyfriend anymore, but they ask why I can't, so I'm wondering.

1:21:52 Drew Well, you're dealing with 18-year-old guys. That's why I was going to say that's not really interesting.

1:21:55 Caller They're older, they're older guys.

1:21:57 Adam No, these guys are in their 40s, come on.

1:21:59 Drew But trust me, Janelle, that's-

1:22:01 Adam These are some very- By the way, guys, asking why your lady are just on top of, didn't have an orgasm, can go nowhere good.

1:22:10 Drew Right.

1:22:11 Caller Yeah.

1:22:11 Drew Right.

1:22:11 Adam I'll give you, there's a couple, yeah. There's-

1:22:13 Caller Put the mirror in front of yourself and look closely and go, what am I doing wrong?

1:22:17 Adam Yeah. And it's just, it's- once in a while, one of the writers over Kimmel gets angry and says, why did she use any of our Michael Jackson jokes from yesterday? And I'm always like, you idiot, here it comes. Then Jimmy's like, because none of them are funny. And then it's like, okay, you didn't see that one? Do I- Had to ask that. Why do people do that, by the way? Why aren't you having an orgasm? Not turned on by you? You're doing- You suck. Yeah, by the way, you didn't remove the dust mask before you began the oral?

1:22:52 Caller You know what I mean?

1:22:53 Adam Like, what is-

1:22:54 Caller Oral?

1:22:55 Adam What's that? Yeah. I mean, there you go. Just never, never ask that. Just assume they have a defect from the factoring. Keep moving.

1:23:02 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

1:23:02 Adam Yeah? Yeah.

1:23:04 Drew Good times.

1:23:04 Adam Good times. Good times. Let's take a little break. Steve over here, who he's 19, had a threesome with his girlfriend and his buddy, now has feelings for his buddy.

1:23:15 Caller Oh, snap.

1:23:17 Adam I know this. See, if we knew how to do good radio, or we cared about doing good radio, I'd say, wow, I'll tell you, talk about scintillating. We're gonna take a quick break. We'll get back with young Steve, see what's going on with his bisexuality.

1:23:28 Drew We're like, oh, bogus.

1:23:30 Caller Yeah.

1:23:30 Adam Don't bother listening to this call. This guy's full of crap. Steve?

1:23:35 Caller Yeah?

1:23:35 Adam You insult us.

1:23:37 Caller I'm sorry.

1:23:39 Adam All right. We're not buying your boguosity.

1:23:42 Caller Why not?

1:23:44 Drew Now I'm interested. After the call, after the commercial, we will talk about that. Now it's something to tease.

1:23:50 Caller Yeah. There you go.

1:23:51 Adam Well, he makes a compelling argument. Why not? All right. All right. We'll be back with the bogus Steve and the very real Goldfinger after this. Come on, Amanda, that's Dr. True. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Kelly and Brian in here tonight from Goldfinger. Kelly Poo in here. Yeah. We'll get back with Steve, the very un-bogus Steve.

1:24:41 Drew Yeah, un-articulate.

1:24:42 Adam He's 19, had a threesome with his gal and his buddy. And now he's got the hots for his buddy. Yes, Steve?

1:24:51 Caller Yeah, I'm not really sure what I should do to... Should I tell my girlfriend or my buddy or...?

1:24:57 Adam Oh man, is it really bogus?

1:24:58 Drew It's getting more bogus by the second.

1:25:00 Adam Wow.

1:25:01 Caller Yeah.

1:25:01 Adam Whoo, Steve. I need a question answered. So when did this happen?

1:25:06 Caller About two weeks ago, and then ever since I had sex with my girlfriend, like, since, it just, it hasn't been the same.

1:25:13 Drew And where were you with your, with you and the buddy and the girl? But where did that happen?

1:25:17 Caller At my place.

1:25:19 Drew You live by yourself?

1:25:20 Goldfinger Yeah.

1:25:23 Drew How'd that go down exactly? How'd you get your buddy into this?

1:25:26 Caller Well, I was talking to my girlfriend about it, and we discussed threesomes before, and we just kind of decided that, you know, it'd be okay to have my, my friend come in and join in. And it just, so we just made it happen.

1:25:41 Drew How'd you get him to come, come in? Reach around. How'd you get him to participate?

1:25:46 Caller Oh, I see. So, he's pretty open. Check this one out.

1:25:50 Drew What, where was he when you asked him?

1:25:53 Caller Oh, we discussed it like the day before.

1:25:55 Drew Where, where were you when you told him?

1:25:57 Caller Oh, we're out for lunch. We're at a pizza place.

1:26:01 Drew And how did he react? What kind of pizza?

1:26:04 Caller He was like, you know, that's cool. I mean, okay.

1:26:07 Adam So he had, he had sex with your girlfriend?

1:26:12 Caller Yeah.

1:26:14 Drew What do you mean you hesitated? Did he or did he not?

1:26:17 Caller Yes, he did.

1:26:17 Drew And what were you doing while he did that?

1:26:21 Adam Reaching around himself.

1:26:23 Drew That's where the bogus comes in.

1:26:24 Adam Drew, you ever reach around yourself?

1:26:26 Drew I can't say I do.

1:26:27 Adam It's a cool way to masturbate. It feels like a guy's relieving you. You just, it's tough.

1:26:33 Goldfinger You can't do it.

1:26:34 Drew You go through your legs.

1:26:36 Adam I go up and under. It's tough.

1:26:38 Drew It's tough.

1:26:39 Caller It's kind of like the stranger. You know that one?

1:26:40 Adam Yeah.

1:26:41 Drew What's the stranger?

1:26:42 Caller It's where you sit on your hand and it falls asleep and you take advantage of yourself.

1:26:46 Drew Oh my God.

1:26:49 Adam And then there's the drifter, which is you have Darren sit on your hand. Stinks it up and then you go at yourself.

1:26:54 Drew Nice. The drifter. Nice.

1:26:57 Adam It's like the stranger, but the hand stinks.

1:26:59 Drew Stinks, of course. It's got homo power.

1:27:01 Adam Yeah. All right. Listen, Steve.

1:27:04 Caller Yeah.

1:27:05 Adam We're labeling this bogus. We just don't believe you. I'm sorry.

1:27:10 Caller All right. Well, I mean, but seriously, like, I mean, I really don't know what to do. I mean, I was just.

1:27:15 Caller Well, why?

1:27:15 Adam What do you mean you don't know what to do? You're not into your girlfriend.

1:27:18 Drew Break up with your girlfriend.

1:27:19 Adam Break up with your girlfriend.

1:27:20 Caller Tell her to hit the road and go to the gay circuit.

1:27:22 Adam That's right. Break up with your girlfriend.

1:27:24 Caller Go check it out. Get straight by Curious only makes me furious.

1:27:28 Drew Well, certainly break up with your girlfriend because you're not into her anymore.

1:27:31 Caller Yeah. All right.

1:27:32 Drew And whether or not you are gay or whatever.

1:27:34 Adam He has no question.

1:27:35 Caller You can always join the Navy.

1:27:36 Adam And look, did you have sex with the guy when he was having sex with your girlfriend?

1:27:41 Caller No, but it just it just turned me on a lot more.

1:27:45 Drew All right. Him with her.

1:27:47 Caller Yeah.

1:27:47 Caller I mean, well, I don't make it get.

1:27:51 Drew I know sometimes guys just have this sort of masochistic thing where they like seeing their girlfriend. Yeah.

1:27:55 Caller Yeah, that is kind of that's hot.

1:27:57 Adam Here's the deal. I don't know what's wrong. Steve is like sort of bogus and dumb and slow and whatever, which is what you call bad call. So here's the thing.

1:28:06 Drew Break up, break up. And if you like seeing other guys, that's going to be a long life. Start your own web page. Don't get involved with anybody in the near future.

1:28:17 Adam Let's talk to Brooke. Brooke.

1:28:19 Hey, guys, listen, I want to tell you guys are geniuses. I love you. I've been listening to you forever.

1:28:24 Adam Thanks, Brooke.

1:28:25 Drew Thanks, man. Now she's building this up. Here we go.

1:28:27 OK, listen, I have advice for you, Dr. Drew.

1:28:30 Drew Yeah.

1:28:31 I don't know why you tell these poor girls that call you that can't have an orgasm to do this and to do that and to do that. And the other thing, why don't you just tell them to play with themselves while they're having intercourse? The guys love it. And I mean, it's an easy way to come.

1:28:50 Drew Yeah, they won't do it, though.

1:28:51 Yeah.

1:28:52 Drew Oh, no, they've tried it. And many women still can't have an orgasm. They just can't do it when there's a penis inside.

1:28:59 I've been doing it since I was, I mean, since I was...

1:29:01 Drew Yes, Brooke, Brooke, because you can do it. This is the difficult thing about women and what drives men out of their mind is there are, there are many, many different variations on this theme, the Brooke theme.

1:29:13 Caller Yeah.

1:29:13 Drew And there's some women that do it the way you do it. And there's more women that still can't.

1:29:18 Do you think it offends men?

1:29:19 Caller No.

1:29:20 Drew No, men love it when women do that. But they physically can't quite pull it off for some reason. And that's them. Maybe they'd rather have it with oral sacs, so they just can't with their purge current. But whatever it is, it's hard for us to understand. But we know, we've told them for many, many years, they should do that and they just could blow it off. Or they try it, it doesn't work.

1:29:40 You guys are awesome. You guys give amazing advice. But I've been doing it and it's the only thing I can do.

1:29:45 Drew Brooke, you gotta stop. Brooke, because you do it doesn't mean that other women necessarily can. That's the strange thing about women is that the women that are multi-multi-orgasmic, there's about 10% that have orgasm only with intercourse, not with oral sex, and have repeated one after the other orgasms. Those women think that you're lying because they can't believe it.

1:30:07 I can't even imagine having an orgasm without doing it. I can't have an orgasm.

1:30:12 Drew Brooke, can you understand that that's just you?

1:30:14 Caller Can you put your legs behind your ears because a lot of girls can't?

1:30:16 Drew That's just Brooke.

1:30:17 Adam Let me tell you one of the cornerstones of being stupid. Just whatever is for you is. You're sort of universal.

1:30:24 Drew You're the one person on the planet.

1:30:25 Adam Hot chick?

1:30:25 Drew Hot chick? Yes.

1:30:27 Adam Oh, yes.

1:30:28 Drew I'm trying to make a point where she keeps repeating the same thing over and over again. That's you, Brooke. Other women have many, many different variations.

1:30:34 Adam But I do appreciate Brooke being a fan of the show and I do appreciate her giving us notes.

1:30:43 Drew Yes.

1:30:43 Adam That's fine with me.

1:30:44 Drew Yes, absolutely.

1:30:45 Adam You should know, we used to do a lot of, you know, Trying to coach. Shit calls up and says, I can't have an orgasm through intercourse. Our first question is, what about oral sex? How does that work? Quiet.

1:30:56 Drew Now you're saying.

1:30:57 Adam Second question is, do you masturbate?

1:31:00 Drew Right.

1:31:00 Adam Oftentimes, yes, but that doesn't work. Sometimes, yes, but it does work. All right. Next question. How about you do that during intercourse?

1:31:08 Drew We'll even say bring the sex toy in. You do it with your vibrator. Bring that in with you.

1:31:12 Adam I've said it many times, Brooke, but here's the-

1:31:14 Caller They're telling the truth?

1:31:16 Drew Yes. Brooke, you've got to get out of your head that other women function like you do.

1:31:19 Adam Brooke, do you think every chick is named Brooke out there and lives in Malibu and is 28 and is hot?

1:31:24 Caller You guys, I just love sex. I mean, what can I say?

1:31:27 Drew That's you. That's you. That's Brooke, Brooke. Every woman is different and there are different patterns amongst women.

1:31:34 Adam Yes. Brooke, what do you do for a living?

1:31:37 Caller What do I do for a living? Oh, gosh. This is an open door. I don't know if we want to open this door.

1:31:42 Drew What kind of thing do you do?

1:31:43 Caller What kind of door?

1:31:44 Adam She dances.

1:31:46 Caller No, I'm in athletics.

1:31:48 Drew All right.

1:31:49 Caller What kind of athletics? Pole vaulting, pole dancing?

1:31:53 Caller I run track.

1:31:54 Adam She runs track.

1:31:55 Drew All right.

1:31:56 Adam Now, what percentage of 28-year-old women who listen to show or call in the show run track?

1:32:03 Caller Probably not too many.

1:32:04 Adam Not too many, not too many. So we've already deciphered that there's a difference in women. They're not all exactly the same. You have to accept that when it comes to the orgasm, just as you do for vocational work. Yes, Drew?

1:32:17 Drew Unfortunately, that same logic doesn't apply to men. Men have lots of vocations, all the same pretty much with sex, with the orgasm. Yeah. That's what's confusing to men. They think you should work just like them. That's why, Brick, you think all the women should work just like you.

1:32:31 Adam Right.

1:32:31 Drew They don't.

1:32:32 Adam No, absolutely not. I appreciate her orgasms and everything.

1:32:36 Drew And we'll take the note. I mean, we'll continue to beat on the fact that we tell them to bring the sex toys in, try to masturbate. We said to her, burn out. That's why we don't say it so much.

1:32:46 Adam By the way, chicks who are not having orgasms through intercourse and are frustrated enough to call a radio show because they're not having orgasm through intercourse have tried to diddle. Believe you me, they've tried to diddle. That was the first thing. It's like when you do these troubleshooting things. It's like, okay, but is the switch on on the garbage disposal? It's like, yeah, no ass. Oh, that's it. You know, the first thing whenever you call the mechanic or the handy guy or whatever, it's a super bait. Is the computer plugged in? Is it plugged in? That's one of those, it's like, you're angry that they even asked, but like, yes, it's plugged in. Okay, now let's try to reboot it. That is a computer plugged in to the tech person. Of course, they've tried to ditto themselves. All right, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back. Well, that's the show, everybody. Goldfinger, just turning the clock back and having a good friend say, Goldfinger.

1:34:13 Drew It's like no time went by.

1:34:14 Adam No, John, Darren, Kelly and Brian all in here. God bless you. Disconnection Notice, name of the new CD sounds great. Go get it. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, mahalo. You can always tell the hot chicks as they just haven't. The fat chicks are like, how y'all doing tonight? Sorry, Tammy, sorry for putting you on hold for 177. No, it's okay. I'm enjoying the show.

1:34:40 Caller I made you some cookies.

1:34:41 Adam I made you some cookies, although I ate them on hold.

1:34:45 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:34:49 Adam The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, March 13, 2005