Episode 1000690376872

6:59 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

7:05 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

7:11 Voiceover This is Loveline.

7:15 Voiceover With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

7:18 Adam Hey, buddy, it's Loveline. I'm Adam.

7:22 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce That's Dr. Bruce.

7:26 Adam Lauren, you got to sit in here. You can't leave. I swear to Christ. Hey, Dr. Bruce, filling in for Dr. Drew. Dr. Bruce, board certified physician. Lauren, you can't go anywhere. Go sit down. Thank you. Board, I made this decree like four years ago. Could we please have people walk, stop having people walk in and out of the studio when the show is on?

7:48 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce I take you seriously. I know you're full around when you go out and make a decree.

7:53 Adam Thank you. Now we got to turn Bruce up. Mädchen Amick is here tonight. She is from ER as well as Jake in Progress. But Jake in Progress is just a reoccurring two episodes?

8:07 Yeah, first two episodes.

8:10 Adam What is the definition of a reoccurring role? You're not a series regular, but you pop up?

8:14 A series regular pretty much means that you get paid a lot less money. No, it just means that you come on and you're a guest for however many days.

8:26 Adam Are you Blackie's girlfriend?

8:28 Yes, I am. I had to kick it off right.

8:30 Adam He's hot.

8:31 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce He's hot.

8:32 Adam Yeah, he's nice. I've met him a few times.

8:35 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce He's Blackie?

8:36 Adam Well, Blackie, no, not in a derogatory way, but he was in like, I don't know, the sunsets in the ocean or something. What was he on?

8:45 I don't remember.

8:46 Adam The General Hospital. All my children.

8:49 All my children.

8:49 Adam Started off in the soaps like you, Bruce. You guys went the same route in life. Come on. First, you were discovered at SE, did that calendar, and then you went right into soaps, and then you went into gay porn.

9:03 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Then I started making believe I was a doctor.

9:05 Adam Then you started making believe you're a doctor. Then you went to Mexico and you came home with your degree, and here you are today.

9:10 I did a soap as well.

9:11 Adam You did?

9:11 Yes. It was one of the first things I did. I was just supposed to be a girl in a party at Days of Our Lives. I was 16, and they gave me one line, and I embellished.

9:23 Adam Really? You ran with it.

9:24 I was just supposed to say, Hi, you look nice. I said, Hi, you look nice. What a great dress. Where are the drinks?

9:33 Adam They kept you on?

9:34 They kept it on, but they kept running up to me right after and said, You know, we're not going to pay you for those lines.

9:39 Adam Oh, yeah, because you went over five. Yeah. Yeah, they got to bump you up. You go over five.

9:44 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Really?

9:45 Adam Yeah. They try to keep you under five. I'm going to see if I can do that with you tonight.

9:49 Bruce.

9:51 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Bruce.

9:51 Adam Yeah.

9:53 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce You're abusive, Adam.

9:54 Adam You get 70 bucks, you go up, you're at four, no more now. All right, buddy. Now, Bruce is a dear, dear friend. Let me say this about Bruce. Twice the doctor Dr. Drew is. I know, I know people are horrified and disappointed when they come in and see Bruce in here, sitting in where Dr. Drew normally sits. But a static, by the way, he's an addict. He should be because he's an addiction medicine specialist. He's a tattoo removal specialist. You guys can talk during the commercial.

10:21 Nice.

10:23 Adam He can do anything with a laser. And you're beautiful. You're born beautiful. You have no worries. But some of the ladies that weren't touched by the hand of God, like yourself, do need to use Bruce's service with a laser. Also what else? Emergency medicine and internal medicine. And internal medicine.

10:42 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce I am board certified. But I could never watch ER because I'd start to watch it and I'd start getting nervous and want to do things.

10:47 And would you look at it and go, they're not doing it right?

10:50 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce You know, that's probably the best show in terms of whoever the consultant is for, that's really good.

10:56 And a lot in the writers or physicians as well.

10:58 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Yeah, well they are, I didn't know that, but I knew they had some consultants.

11:01 Adam Bruce has spent many hours in the ER himself.

11:04 If this is true, you're going to go to jail, buddy.

11:08 Adam Bruce sounding like he was high on ether. I don't know when you were on, Drew, I mean Bruce, but you sounded a little drunk there. Let's hear that again Anderson, I think he may have been drunk.

11:19 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce If this is true, you're going to go to jail, buddy. Yeah, it's a little slurring of the speech. I'm not sure what that's all about.

11:26 Adam All right. You may have just got into your own medicine cabinet. So all right, what are we going to talk about? ER, 10 o'clock, NBC Thursday nights of course, and Bruce gives it a thumbs up.

11:38 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce It comes true, you're going to go to jail, buddy. Anderson is getting paid for doing that.

11:43 Adam Just keeps getting funnier. It says here you're born in Reno, Nevada.

11:51 Yes.

11:51 Adam And you started off as a, did you always want to act or model or what did you want to do?

11:57 My father was a musician, so I fell in love with the arts. I was dancing and painting and I knew I wanted to do something like that, but it wasn't until high school in theater. I was a big movie goer, a big movie fan, and it wasn't until high school in the theater that it just sort of caught on. And then at 14, I knew I needed to get out.

12:22 Adam Out of Reno.

12:23 Out of Reno.

12:24 Adam They have theater in high school at Reno?

12:27 Yeah, we had a great theater teacher.

12:30 Adam Wow.

12:31 Yeah.

12:31 Adam The hell was he hiding from over there in Reno? Reno is, well I guess Reno is nice.

12:37 No it is, it's very nice. It's actually a very beautiful town, beautiful mountains right at the foot of Lake Tahoe.

12:43 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Skiing's great up.

12:44 Skiing's beautiful.

12:45 Adam Tahoe is beautiful.

12:46 I just had bigger things I needed to do.

12:47 Adam Yeah, Tahoe is exquisite by the way. That lake, it's got like 30 shades of blue. Yep.

12:53 Get on that boat, you just jump in.

12:54 Have you heard the rumors that there are like these mystery canals that connect to the San Francisco Bay?

13:00 Adam No.

13:01 People go missing?

13:01 Adam Under water.

13:02 People go missing in like Tahoe and show up in the San Francisco Bay. Those are the rumors in town.

13:08 Adam But their corpses show up? Yeah.

13:11 Divers go missing in like Tahoe.

13:13 Adam That whole spelunking thing when you're breathing air is a bad enough idea. Underwater, you couldn't think of anything worse. Just, hey, how are we getting out of the cave? I thought you knew how we're getting out of the cave. That's fantastic. Fantastic. It's dark. I can't see my flashlights out of batteries. I got eight seconds of oxygen left. Just enough time to take my knife out and scroll my wife's name into the side of some coral. Fantastic. Hey, this is a good time, though.

13:40 Oh, yeah.

13:41 Adam I always like when they do, he died doing what he loved.

13:44 Oh, yeah.

13:44 Adam Really?

13:45 That's nice.

13:45 Adam I don't think he loved it at the time he's running out of oxygen, though. I'm guessing that wasn't his favorite thing.

13:50 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce No.

13:50 Adam I think napping would have been better than at that point.

13:53 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Sitting on the shore.

13:54 Adam Yeah. Yeah, let's go underwater cave exploring. Drew? I mean, Bruce, I keep calling you Drew. Thanks. Well, it's possible.

14:01 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Where is Drew? This is Drew. You're going to go to jail, buddy.

14:06 Adam I don't know where the hell he is. He's out there chasing a nickel somewhere.

14:09 Where's Dr. Drew?

14:10 Adam You ready? I promise I'll only call you Drew eight more times before the show is out.

14:15 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce If you call me nine more times, you have to pay me.

14:17 Then you get paid more.

14:17 Adam Kristen?

14:19 Hello?

14:20 Adam You're 22? What's up?

14:26 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Kristen, are you awake?

14:32 Adam This is going to be a bad show.

14:33 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce You want to try Kristen?

14:34 Adam We should just pack it in. Let me tell you what I've learned. I'm trying to learn in life. I've learned that you get a pretty, it's like everything's just pretty much like a first date. You get a pretty good idea where things are heading first 15, 20 minutes. It's like a movie. Right. You go and you sit down, you get about 10, 15 minutes into it and you go, this is a dud. Yeah. That's we should all just pick up and leave at that point. That's right. All right.

14:56 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Never regret that.

14:57 Adam Yeah. We've had some good shows. There's no doubt. This just isn't one of them.

15:03 Clearly.

15:03 Adam Mädchen, it's not your fault. I scared her off.

15:06 I think I scared her off.

15:07 Adam It's nothing to do with you. We stumbled a little out of the gates.

15:10 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Got some bad karma going to me.

15:11 Adam I think we can get it together though.

15:12 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Okay.

15:13 Adam Well, I think we can rally a little bit.

15:16 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Should we try Christie on line two maybe?

15:18 Adam All right. Let's see if we can recover. I'm guessing not. Christie?

15:22 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Yes. Oh, hello.

15:24 Adam You're 18, yeah.

15:26 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce What is up?

15:27 I'm so happy to talk to you guys.

15:28 I'm so nervous.

15:30 Adam That's all right.

15:31 Okay. I'll try to make this as quick as possible. My boyfriend and I have been having sex for about ten months. We have sex probably anywhere between five to seven days a week. We do a lot of different things. We experiment with a lot of different things. But sometimes there will be a week out of the month where he says he can't feel it. It's not like he can't feel how tight I am or how warm I am. He doesn't get any pleasure from it. So then he goes limp.

16:11 Adam How old is he?

16:12 He's 21.

16:14 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Do you guys use any chemicals or drink?

16:17 No. I don't know. Neither one of us. Well, he drinks a little bit, but not.

16:21 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Nothing that would cause that kind of a problem.

16:23 Adam Well, look, there's no amount of booze that can cause that problem for a 20-year-old guy.

16:27 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Well, the limp factor.

16:29 It depends on how much he's not feeling. Because I know once a month with women's cycles, that if you're ovulating, you'll get wetter or looser, and so maybe that might be changing his feeling.

16:45 Adam Looser as well? Is there clinical data to support that?

16:49 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Hormones are going to affect the mucosa, probably something with muscle tension.

16:54 Adam Really? All right. I just got to get a calendar and work that out.

17:00 It's not only that he can't feel it. This is holographic, and I don't know if this is valid or not.

17:08 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Try this.

17:08 His balls don't hang how they normally hang. They're more up close to his body.

17:15 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce We could do a study. I'm not familiar with the previous study on this. Now, what about pain? Have you inflicted any pain on his?

17:20 No.

17:21 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce On his genitals?

17:22 I don't know.

17:23 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce If he can't feel pleasure, does he feel pain? Is there any diminution?

17:27 Adam Next time, try it. Put a cigarette out on it. See what happens. That's what might do.

17:32 I don't think that will be one.

17:34 Adam Okay. All right. Well, hold on. Let's talk amongst ourselves for a second. There is this thing if you lose erection or anything starts going wrong in anything, not just sexually, where you almost lose sensation of things. It's a numbing feeling. I don't know if it's nerves. I don't know how it works. I'm not sure what goes on physiologically. But there is a numbing sensation that people have when they're nervous or there's anxiety. But he's been with her for a long time.

18:03 Dr. Bruce Right.

18:04 Adam And so I don't know if that's a factor. I mean, you usually think either the guy has a physical problem or he's anxious, or there's some sort of substance involved.

18:13 And it's happening once a month, I think she said, so it's like it's a cycle to it.

18:18 Dr. Bruce Right.

18:18 Adam Well, Mädchen's still playing the Menci card.

18:20 Dr. Bruce No, no, no.

18:21 I'm saying it could be him. It could be him with the cycle.

18:23 Adam Oh, interesting.

18:24 It could be something going on with him.

18:26 Adam Christie.

18:27 Yeah.

18:28 Adam And then that's is that it for the for the evening when he loses his sensation?

18:33 He gets he gets really frustrated about it, but he still wants to get me off.

18:39 Adam Oh, that's nice. That's nice. Gives you a little oral sex.

18:42 Good boy.

18:44 More finger than oral.

18:46 Adam I see. See, chivalry is not dead. A lot of guys, a lot of people say today's today's man loses his boner and he packs it in, but not Sir Walter Raleigh. He throws a digit at her. I'll tell you, he's old school.

19:01 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Yeah. I'm impressed.

19:02 Adam I see him as like wearing a cape and a top hat, maybe throwing his jacket down in a puddle when she's getting into the chariot.

19:09 It's interesting you're getting those images. We may need to talk about that.

19:12 Adam Yeah, no, he's old school this guy. Christy?

19:15 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Yeah?

19:15 Adam All right, so it just sounds like I don't know that there is a problem here. There's just something that occurs on occasion.

19:24 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce There's a real mind-body connection with sex, and that's obviously what happens when somebody loses an erection from anxiety over performance. Now, in that case that Christy's boyfriend has, maybe he's got a real strong mind-body connection and as he starts to get anxious, he loses sensation along with his growth.

19:42 Adam I just wonder about this guy's emotional construct. He has a little tantrum when he loses his boner. What's up with him? What's he into?

19:50 He does get a little angry about it.

19:52 Adam I don't trust him. What's he into?

19:55 Music, school.

19:58 What kind of music?

20:00 He's a little rocker. He plays the drums and the guitar and the piano.

20:05 Adam Is he a sensitive guy? Is he like a mama's boy? Do his parents pay too much attention to him?

20:11 No, I wouldn't. No.

20:14 Adam Okay. All right. Does he like sports?

20:18 He used to do soccer in high school.

20:19 Adam No soccer, please.

20:21 That's not a sport.

20:23 Adam That doesn't count. All right. I've labeled this a problem that you guys probably can't fix, but it doesn't matter.

20:30 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Right.

20:30 Adam It's like a car that overheats every 200 miles. You pull over, you let it cool off, you keep driving.

20:35 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce It sounds like it might be anxiety-related. If he's losing his erection, he may have the perception of decreased sensitivity that accompanies that.

20:42 Adam If it keeps happening and it's more frequent, maybe he should go see a doctor.

20:46 Yeah.

20:47 Adam Christina, let's talk to Christina.

20:51 Caller Yeah.

20:51 Adam What's up?

20:53 Caller Hi. About a week ago, my boyfriend and I had sex and I started my period during that time, or what I thought was my period. Then about two days later, I stopped.

21:09 Adam Hold on. I don't want more vagina talk.

21:12 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce No, this gets good. This is because to the male genitalia.

21:15 Adam I talked about a guy's dick for the last 20 minutes.

21:18 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce So this is an interesting, this is inside. This is an interesting answer to the question.

21:21 Adam I want to talk about pierced nipples. Rhea, please. I have my dignity.

21:25 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce I'm not surprised.

21:26 Adam Rhea? Yeah. Come on. I have a little variety, would you, Bruce?

21:30 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Okay.

21:30 Adam Jesus. Rhea?

21:33 Hi.

21:33 Adam You're 19. What's up?

21:35 Caller I have both my nipples pierced and I was wondering if there's any side effects or I have to worry about getting a better chance of cancer.

21:45 Adam Yeah. Areola cancer goes up tenfold when you get your nipples pierced.

21:49 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce No, they're not.

21:50 Adam That's what took my mom and my grandmother.

21:53 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Probably the biggest risk.

21:53 Adam It runs in the family.

21:55 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Probably the biggest risk would be.

21:56 Adam I have to get screened every six months.

21:58 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Have I had my five words already? Is that the reason you're interrupting me every time I try to talk?

22:01 Caller Yes, but how old was your grandmother when she got her nipples pierced?

22:04 Adam She was 11.

22:05 Caller Ah, nice.

22:05 Adam She was young. It was a different time.

22:07 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce You know, by asking him questions when he deviates, you're encouraging.

22:11 Adam Yeah, you're only encouraging.

22:11 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce I'll shut up.

22:12 Adam Listen, Bruce, quiet down. I'll do the talk around here. Ria.

22:16 Caller Yes.

22:16 Adam What's wrong with you with these nipples you've got pierced? Nobody likes that. Who are you angry at? What's going on?

22:23 Caller Well, a lot of guys like it.

22:24 Adam No, they don't. They like what it says, but they don't like it. It just says you're open for business. They don't physically like the way it looks. It's just like, all right, she's a goer.

22:36 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce She's good. Ria, I don't agree with Adam, but he really doesn't care if I disagree with him.

22:40 Adam Okay. Let's put it this way. If you met, you're going to have to use your imagination here, Bruce. If you met a girl at a bar, just stay with me.

22:49 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Okay.

22:49 Adam I'm trying. You took her home and you guys were getting a little something going on on the sofa and all of a sudden the shirt came off and you saw the pierced nipples. You know you're in for a good night. You know what I mean? You're going to keep going. She's not going to stop at second pace. You see, Mädchen, back me up here. Okay. You're going to see those pierced nipples and you know you're going to keep rolling, the night's going to keep rolling on.

23:15 Caller It's an advertisement that she's a little freaky.

23:19 Adam Yeah.

23:19 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce All right. I might get anxious that she's a little freaky and then get...

23:23 Adam Well, you would lose your rest and there's no doubt about it.

23:26 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Oh, we're assuming that. Okay.

23:28 Adam Or more likely scenario, the premature ejaculation. But the point is, to me, I think women say like, oh yeah, guys dig the pierced nipples. I don't really think guys dig them in a vacuum, but they dig what they stand for, which is good to go. Right.

23:43 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce But I think the question is why did the women get them? Is it representing some sort of a wild streak or past abuse? I mean, you know there are various reasons that people pierce themselves. It's a fashion statement in some cases today.

23:55 Adam It's a combo. It's stepdad kicked me around a little, now I'm taking control of my body. Yeah. That's one. Number two, I'm a little bit angry. C or three, kiss my ass to the man. And then four, I'm wild, I'm open for business.

24:08 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Well, some of this starts going on. The guy that seems to be a little wild, and they want to let him know they're a little wild. I think some women get them for extraneous reasons. Yeah, no, sometimes.

24:19 Adam No, never, never happened. Rhea?

24:21 Yeah.

24:22 Adam So Rhea, she's angry because she hates her dad.

24:27 Dr. Bruce Where's your dad?

24:28 Caller He's, I'm still in his life.

24:32 Adam Yeah.

24:32 Caller I don't live with him, but I live on my own.

24:34 Adam So do you like your dad?

24:36 Caller I do.

24:37 Adam Really? Does he know about your pierced nipples?

24:39 Caller Oh, no, not at all.

24:41 Adam Good. And do you, did you have a guy that boyfriend that got you to pierce your nipples?

24:46 Caller No, not at all. I was just with another friend and I just thought it would be a crazy thing to do. I'm not like a slut, but.

24:55 Adam Too late, but.

24:56 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce You're not like a slut, but.

24:58 Adam Well, they should have clamp ons for nipples, for people that just do it in a sort of whim type way. They have stuff like that.

25:04 Caller What if you decide you don't want nipple piercing?

25:06 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce My point is take them out.

25:08 Adam Take them out.

25:10 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Right.

25:10 Caller See, that's another question, too. What about when I have kids?

25:14 If I take them out.

25:15 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce No, that's generally. Yes, you're able to breastfeed. The biggest risk is probably right after you get them, the risk of infection. But it's, you know, if you go to a qualified piercer, you have a very low risk of infections and problems. It's going to somebody that's learning the trade in the garage, doing some early pre-treatment.

25:35 Adam You don't want to go to nipple-piercing college, like I used to go to get my hair cut over at the hair cutting college.

25:41 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce You got to somebody that's-

25:42 Adam You don't want a monkey with that. I wonder how many nipple piercings a year there are in this country. What do you think? Mädchen, you got a number?

25:50 Caller I have no idea.

25:52 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce I heard 25 percent of the population has a tattoo right now.

25:55 Adam Really?

25:55 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Yeah. Don't ask me where I heard that.

25:57 Adam No. Now, is it 25 percent? Is it this number? I know you said what you said, but could it be that if I had three tattoos, it counts as three? Either they tally them up or it's just 25 percent of the populace of this country has a tat?

26:15 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce That's, yeah. Do you have any idea?

26:17 Caller Is it just coasts? Is it the whole country?

26:19 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Well, you know, what's your, Ria's in Minnesota. Yeah. We should ask. I wonder if there's more deviance involved in piercings and tattoos in the Midwest. I doubt it. I think it's just like a fashion statement, a tattoo. I mean, how?

26:33 Adam You know, I, yeah, 25 percent. Ria? Yeah. Do you have any tats?

26:40 Caller No, I want one, though, but I just can't spend the money on it.

26:45 Adam What are you gonna get if you do get one?

26:47 Caller A black star.

26:49 Adam Black star?

26:50 Caller What's that represent?

26:51 Caller For me, smashing pumpkins.

26:54 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce That's like the nautical star.

26:55 Adam Oh, you mean physical star. I thought you meant like Denzel Washington.

26:59 Oh, no.

27:00 Adam You know, black star.

27:02 Yeah.

27:03 Adam It would be funny if you had like Washington from Welcome Back, Carter, you know, black star. Wow.

27:09 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce That's an oblique reference. How many of these people are sick?

27:12 Adam Well, he's a black guy. He's a star. He's still a star. He's definitely a star.

27:16 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce What percentage of your friends have tattoos?

27:18 Adam Oh, she doesn't know.

27:19 Caller I have no idea.

27:21 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Oh, yes, you do.

27:23 Caller No? Probably 25, like you guys were saying.

27:27 Adam Okay. All right. Just kissing Bruce's ass. All right, baby doll, you save up for that black star.

27:33 Caller I will.

27:34 Adam Yeah. Mr. T would be a good one. I mean, you know, kind of a throwback black star. Trying to think of a more current one besides. I guess Oprah.

27:44 Caller Samuel Jackson.

27:45 Adam Yeah. Samuel Jackson. There's probably a bunch of them.

27:50 Caller Lou Rawls.

27:51 Adam That'd be a nice old school one. Hey, who's that? That's Lou Rawls.

27:54 Caller Black star.

27:56 Adam Yeah. Awesome. I'm with you, Rhea. Yeah.

27:59 Caller Okay.

28:00 Adam We got to keep moving. I want to talk to Sarah. Sarah's boyfriend disappears for months at a time. Sarah?

28:09 Yeah.

28:10 Adam You're 22?

28:11 Caller Yeah.

28:12 Adam Hold on. Engineer Chris, you know who Lou Rawls is?

28:15 Caller No. Okay.

28:16 Caller Oh my goodness.

28:17 Adam No, no. Sarah answered for engineer Chris.

28:20 No.

28:20 Adam No.

28:21 She was right, though.

28:22 Caller All right.

28:22 Adam Huh?

28:24 Caller You'll never find boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

28:28 Adam Go ahead, Sarah.

28:30 Caller Well, I was friends with him for about five years, and we started talking more, and we, you know, feelings came out, you know, told him, you know, and I said to him, and he told me.

28:41 Adam You're talking about Lou Rawls or you're talking about your boyfriend? Boyfriend? You're talking about your boyfriend?

28:46 Caller Yeah. Anyway, feelings came out and everything. We started talking and we made plans to go places, then all of a sudden, things started coming up every time, and then we told each other we loved each other, all the good stuff. Then we made more plans and it didn't show up again.

29:08 Adam What do you mean he didn't show up? Where is he?

29:11 Caller Well, supposedly, he's a truck driver, but I'm like, I don't trust him no more. I'm like, he just, I don't know.

29:19 Adam It's bad when you're bragging about being a truck driver. Go airline pilot if you're trying to just get a little ass, you're going to be blowing in and out of town, driving a rig.

29:29 Caller Yeah.

29:31 Caller Yeah.

29:32 Adam Yeah, it's like, he claims he's a truck driver, but I suspect the worst. Yeah, that's bad. That's bad because there's only homeless now. Now you go to Drifter, you go truck driver, Drifter, and then Hobo, who rides the rails. Is there anything below truck driver beside engineer? Sorry, buddy. Sorry, Chris. Sarah? Yeah. All right. So he claims to be a truck. What did you do? Meet him? Well, I said you met him. He's a friend. What?

30:02 Caller I worked with him. And then, I don't know, we're just friends for a while, just, you know, distant friends and we just got closer after a while. And then, well, anyway, we just, I wouldn't like, we were like, he was really, damn it. I can't get words out.

30:18 Adam Well, where did you work with him?

30:20 Caller Was the city, government.

30:22 Adam You work, oh, like undercover stuff, like, like areas kind of stuff?

30:27 Caller No, no, no, just like a local city.

30:30 Adam But, but you guys were packing, right? I mean, doing a lot of rappelling, a lot of special ops stuff.

30:36 Caller Yeah, sure.

30:37 Adam He was a demolition man that called her the face girl. She would infiltrate. Yeah, threw knives too.

30:43 New sitcom for you.

30:44 Adam Yeah. Sitcom? One hour drama. How dare you?

30:48 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce So, so now is this the guy you were sleeping with, Sarah?

30:50 Caller Well, no, we, we got intimate like, oh God, only like, only like three times. And then he like disappeared on me. And then he was like, well, I needed, you know, people started saying things about him. He's doing this, he's doing that. And I would get pissed and I'll tell him, because I'm not going to just sit there and just think about it.

31:08 Adam All right, right. Sarah, this is not your boyfriend. This is just a joker guy who's, you know, looking to have a little fun and some kicks and to have a little sex.

31:18 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce He's not your boyfriend. Yeah, you know, truck driver, unfortunately, probably has a few other gals on the line like you in different cities. Yeah. A couple of truck drivers I knew.

31:27 Adam Maybe even bigger than you.

31:28 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce And they're proud of that.

31:29 Adam I mean, it's sort of like- He's a, well, what you call a rambling man. Yeah. Yeah. He's got to ramble.

31:34 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce And not ready to settle down.

31:35 Adam No.

31:36 Caller Is that when he disappears, though? Is when he goes on the road driving?

31:39 Caller Well, yeah, no. He supposedly disappeared for like four months on me. And he told me he needed time to think. And I'm like, yeah.

31:51 Adam Hey, I'm going to go out on a limb here. I'm guessing Sarah went and did her finishing school in Geneva. Do you guys, do you have any thoughts about where Sarah finished school?

31:59 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce I think this is where Florida, Germany.

32:01 Adam Yeah.

32:01 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce I think Florida.

32:02 Adam You think she did her finishing school in Florida? No. I got to believe it was abroad. You just don't get that kind of-

32:07 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce I'd say Gulf Coast.

32:09 Caller I make it.

32:10 Adam I'm being facetious.

32:11 Caller Oh, sorry. It's jokes.

32:13 Adam All right, buddy. All right. I got to yell Sarah. Sarah. Yeah. You sound like a delicate little flower who's had one of her petals pulled off. I'm sure you are. This guy's not a good guy. Thank God he didn't get you pregnant. Do you have any kids? No. Wow. You sound like you should have some kids by now. That's a good thing. How about you just lay low a little, forget about this guy, not your boyfriend, find a guy who's going to be around and everybody forget about what guys say or forget about what you want, guys or girls, whatever the relationship. Mädchen, back me up here.

32:48 Caller What?

32:49 Adam It is the deeds and the acts that will decide what kind of relationship you have, not the words.

32:56 Caller Absolutely.

32:57 Adam And there's like, you know, you've all gotten a thing where it's like you're, well, you've never done it, Mädchen, but someone's telling you why they can't go out with you for the fourth time. And it sounds like a really great reason, but you just sort of figure out if they're not going out, they're not going out. If they're, if they're into you, they're there. When you're into somebody, you're there. Am I right?

33:17 Caller You're right.

33:18 Adam You're 100% there. I don't care if there's a funeral, I don't care if there's a wedding, you get, boom, you go straight from the airport to their house. Right. You're there. When you're into it, you're there. It's like anything you're into. If you're into a band, you're there. If you're into a movie, you're there. If you're into a person, you're there. And if it just keeps going on where you haven't seen it, and you're not going in, you're not coming over, and it never works out, they're not into you. That's the way it works.

33:39 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce This is like leaving the movie early, right? You know from the beginning, it's not going to be good.

33:42 Adam That's right.

33:43 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce She needs to get out of this.

33:44 Adam Out. Right. All right. We'll take a little break. We'll be right back after this. Hello.

33:51 This is Loveline.

33:52 1-800-LOVE-191. Loveline will be right back.

34:22 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Bruce. Filling in for Dr. Drew. Mädchen Amick is here tonight. She is from ER. Thursday night, it's 10 o'clock NBC. And also in Jake in Progress on ABC. Wait, when is that aired? Is that aired yet?

34:42 Caller March 13th, and then again, March 17th is what I'm hearing.

34:46 Adam I'm going to write that down, because I've been seeing a lot of ads for it.

34:50 Caller Yeah.

34:51 Adam Stamos. I miss, you know, I'll tell you something. He's a good guy. Sorry about him and Rebecca Romaine. But she's nice too. They just like to party a little too much. I think they're like swingers or something. They're pretty out there couple. But I wonder if you get people, if you get two people, you know what makes the best married couples is two people who don't like having fun anymore. You know, just like, I'm going to hang in and we're going to write a movie. Let's relax a little bit. Maybe raise some kids. I'll do some shopping. You work. You change your oil on the car. Get two people that are still really interested in having fun. They're not. It's not a good marriage.

35:32 Caller You have fun together.

35:33 Adam That's what everyone thinks. But it never seems to work out that way because so much of fun, especially celebrity dude fun, involves stuff that your wife would get pissed off about.

35:43 Caller Yeah.

35:44 Adam And I bet a fair amount of celebrity chick fun involves stuff that, and I'm not talking about sleeping with male strippers or anything, but I'm just talking about the kind of stuff that your husband really wouldn't want to sit around and watch kind of thing. If you're young, you're good looking, you have money.

36:00 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Equality is equality of whatever.

36:03 Adam Thank you.

36:04 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Women, men, celebrities.

36:06 Adam Anderson, put that on a cart because that was profound. That was awesome. You should write like a fortune cookies.

36:15 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce What was that?

36:15 Caller Celebrities can get in so much more trouble.

36:17 Adam Yeah.

36:18 Caller Than the average couple.

36:19 Adam No, that's why.

36:20 Caller You got people throwing themselves at you constantly. Not me personally.

36:24 Adam No. But you have guys throwing themselves. Well, here's the whole thing. You're a beautiful woman. That's its own form of celebrity. So you don't really need celebrity. I mean, as a matter of fact, it's sort of like, it's an interesting thing, which is Rebecca Romaine is a celebrity because she's a celebrity and she's a celebrity because she's a beautiful woman and either way has about the same draw on guys. It's marginally more, I would say, because of the fact that she's in movies, but not that much more. Whereas for Jack Black, it's a big plus. You see what I'm saying?

37:02 Caller For celebrity women that it starts to intimidate men.

37:05 Adam That's a possibility.

37:05 Caller They don't know how to approach them.

37:07 Adam Well yeah, I mean, I'm trying to think. I don't know what your status is. What is your status?

37:12 Caller Married.

37:13 Adam Married. How long have you been married?

37:15 Caller Almost 18 years. Well we've been together almost 18 years.

37:18 Adam Almost 18 years?

37:19 Caller Yeah.

37:19 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce What?

37:20 Adam What? Yeah.

37:21 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce You look very young.

37:23 Adam Where'd you guys, you guys?

37:25 Caller We met when I first moved to LA.

37:27 Adam In the nursery? He was in the Loosite Crib next to mine?

37:31 Caller He was my elementary school sweetheart. No, when I first moved to LA.

37:34 Adam You first moved here, you met him?

37:35 Yeah.

37:36 Adam And 18 years?

37:38 Yeah.

37:38 Adam Wow. What's he do?

37:40 Caller He's a singer, songwriter, producer, musician.

37:44 Adam Lou Rawls?

37:45 Caller He's Lou Rawls.

37:46 Adam That's awesome.

37:48 Caller I was very offended that you didn't know Lou Rawls.

37:50 Adam No, but I knew when you jumped, when I said Lou Rawls, your eyes lit up. Sorry about that. Yeah, that's awesome. Hey, man. Listen, I'm open-minded. Actually, I think that's great too. He's an older man. He's of color. I think it's awesome what you guys are doing. I just want you to know, there's no judgment going on here. Plus all the money raises for Budweiser or whatever. It's awesome. That's a Hollywood power couple right there. The children are going to be, well, it could really go a lot of different directions. But they could definitely talent it. The point is, is a beautiful woman, your stock is probably not helped all that much by being on TV. It could actually complicate things a little bit. Whereas if you're a beautiful woman and you worked as a greeter, server, whatever at an upscale restaurant, it'd probably just be easier than if you had your own TV series.

38:52 Caller I agree, and then you can have the guys that are average Joes that have women throwing themselves at them constantly, just because they're a celebrity.

39:00 Adam Right.

39:00 Caller Because it becomes attractive and alluring.

39:03 Adam Yeah, and for women, by the way, I think for women seeing a guy on TV, it's much more alluring than for a man seeing a woman on TV.

39:11 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce What if I meet the woman, I don't know if she's a celebrity, I don't watch TV.

39:15 Adam They always say that, by the way. I didn't know what he did. I always liked that one. The chicks always do that when they're going out with the athletes. Oh, well, that's. So it's Karl Malone's wife. He's, his nickname is the mailman. So he's been a mailman and she thought he was a mailman. So she always says that thing where she's like, I saw him at the mall. I thought he was a mailman. He was signing autographs for several thousand people. Yeah. He's the world's greatest mailman. Like whether you knew what he did or not, you know he's a 12 feet tall. He's got a diamond encrusted semi-truck he drove in and he's signing autographs for half of you. He's got a huge posse around him. He's signing autographs at the mall. Just a mail carrier? Man, this guy must sort mail like nobody's business. And boy, talk about a state, Utah, where they take their mail seriously. These guys are at malls signing autographs. I mean, we've never had that in California. I mean, your mailman does a decent job, but he's not, you know.

40:15 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce But look at your celebrity. When you go somewhere with Adam, people stop him. Photographs, pictures.

40:21 Adam Yeah, it's tough. It's tough.

40:22 Caller All those women throwing themselves at you? It's hard, isn't it?

40:25 Adam It's difficult.

40:26 Caller Yeah.

40:26 Adam It really is. It really is. Yeah, it seems funny to everybody, but.

40:33 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Make a card of that, Anderson.

40:35 Adam Christina. Christina. All right. Let's talk to Jim, who's a big fan of Mädchen. Jim.

40:46 Dr. Bruce Hi.

40:47 Adam What's up?

40:48 Dr. Bruce Well, not much. Colin here from the Midwest, where it's about 110 degrees below zero.

40:54 Caller Wow.

40:55 Dr. Bruce But that's all right.

40:56 Caller All right.

40:58 Dr. Bruce I listen every night and I flip the show on and I heard Mädchen Amec.

41:05 Adam It's Amec.

41:06 Dr. Bruce Is it Amec or Amec?

41:08 Adam Amec.

41:09 Caller Amec long A's.

41:10 Dr. Bruce Okay. I thought, wait a minute, this can't be true. I had to call. By the way, hi Adam and hi Dr. Bruce.

41:21 Adam Hello, creepy guy. Why couldn't it be true, by the way?

41:26 Dr. Bruce Well, I guess Adam, I have a question for you. Are you Zephyrred up right now or is she there in person?

41:34 Adam She's here in person.

41:35 Dr. Bruce So she's probably sweatshirt and jeans and stuff, but is this woman making you melt at the knees like she normally does to people when they watch her on screen?

41:47 Adam Yeah. I've joined their ranks. She's beautiful.

41:51 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

41:52 Adam We discovered that.

41:53 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

41:54 Adam But she's been married for 18 years. Well, I met him when she was five. She's pregnant at seven. It's very traditional.

42:02 Dr. Bruce Well, I knew that. I saw Mädchen Amick and what was it, Dream Lover with James Spader?

42:06 Caller Yeah.

42:07 Dr. Bruce I thought that was a very good flick, almost like an indie.

42:12 Caller Yeah, it was.

42:14 Dr. Bruce It almost seemed like it was based off of a play. It was like a two-person movie, really, right?

42:21 Caller Yeah. Yeah, it was James Spader and my character. And it was written by Nick Kazan, who is Elia Kazan's son.

42:29 Adam Oh, really?

42:29 Caller For anyone who knows Elia Kazan, yeah. It wasn't a play, though. It was he wrote it.

42:33 Adam Big poster of Lou Rawls and Elia Kazan upon a bedroom.

42:36 Dr. Bruce Do you know who that is? It was written. It was a really cool movie. Basically, if you're like James Spader or if you like Mädchen, it's, and if it's out there, it's, you know, get it.

42:49 Adam What, Jim, what is your story? I mean, I don't mean that in a bad way, but...

42:54 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Oh, no, well...

42:55 Adam You sound lonely.

42:56 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Well, he's got a good radio voice, don't you think?

42:58 Adam He does. Smooth.

43:02 Dr. Bruce Well, I have other Loveline calls, maybe for later dates. I don't want to waste your time. All right. You know, my light, my...

43:09 Adam What do you do, Jim? I'm interested in what you do.

43:13 Dr. Bruce Well, I'm a musician and an advertising writer. So, take your pick. I used to be a professional musician.

43:23 Caller What do you play?

43:24 Dr. Bruce For a living. I play drums and percussion.

43:26 Adam So, you do jingles now?

43:28 Dr. Bruce I used to do that stuff.

43:30 Adam Yeah. I tell you, Mädchen has a soft spot in her heart for musician, composer, songwriter. She's married to Lou Rawls. I don't know if you've known about that.

43:40 Caller Boom, boom, ba-da-boom.

43:42 Dr. Bruce The ones who love you, they're gonna lose, Tender like I do.

43:47 Adam Put down the mic and pick those sticks up again. You gotta get behind the kit, not up front.

43:52 Caller Now it's coming to me.

43:53 Adam He's no Phil Collins.

43:54 Caller Now you know it.

43:55 Caller Now I know Lou Rawls.

43:57 Dr. Bruce I'm looking at the drumsticks now. I just got in for the recording studio, as a matter of fact, because it was just my own project, Dan. But then I became an advertising writer. Then I got laid off. Then I woke up one day and my wife was gone. She was gone off to Maryland.

44:12 Adam Shocking. Hey, Jim.

44:15 Dr. Bruce The reason I'm calling actually is to ask Mädchen a question about, because kind of, and don't take this in the wrong way, but it's the right way. You kind of dropped off the radar for a while and then suddenly, you're big time on the radar with ER and I call it ER. So you've got ER and you've got Jake. So.

44:40 Adam That's enough. What about it? Well, it's a cyclical business, isn't it?

44:44 Caller It is. It just did continue to do independent movies like Dream Lover and some surface and do well and some don't.

44:52 Adam Yeah.

44:53 Caller But I did other television shows as well.

44:55 Adam Well, also, I think people, people don't watch everything all the time. So they don't currently see. So it's not the radar, it's their radar.

45:07 Caller So it's like, yeah, you feel so much better.

45:10 Adam Well, I got to do this. I'm trying to make myself feel better too. But they do that thing where it's like, hey, what happened? Where are you? Because you're not on that show. I used to watch on the channel. I always watch and it's like, well, I'm not on that channel. I'm on another channel. They're like, oh, well, what's that channel? So oftentimes, and if you're on the cover of Life every week, they'll see you, but I just mean oftentimes people move around, people don't follow you and they just assume you got hit by a train or something.

45:35 Caller Yeah.

45:36 Adam Let me tell you something about Mädchen though. She always lands on her feet. She's got a lot of fight in her, this lady. She's very proud.

45:43 Caller You can tell that.

45:44 Adam I can tell that.

45:44 Caller Yeah.

45:45 Adam I know. I can tell you're Scorpio, right? Yes?

45:47 Caller No.

45:49 Adam Libra? Yes. Yes. Gemini? Yes. No. Yes. Taurus? Yes. Yes. Taurus.

45:56 Caller I love Taurus. My mother and my husband.

45:59 Adam I know. I know.

46:00 Caller You knew that.

46:01 Adam Don't say it. Are you Taurus? No. Cancer? Yes.

46:04 Caller No.

46:04 Adam Yes.

46:07 Caller It's going to be the last one that you choose.

46:09 Adam It may not even be that one.

46:10 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce He doesn't know one from the other anyway.

46:13 Adam I think I only know like eight or nine. You're right. Let's see. Capricorn. Yes. Yes.

46:18 Caller No.

46:19 Adam Yes.

46:19 No.

46:20 Caller I'll give you hints.

46:21 Adam No. Don't give me hints. What do you mean? I don't need your charity. Obviously, I have a gift.

46:26 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce How about Orion? Orion's. That's a constellation.

46:30 Caller No. That's a constellation.

46:31 Adam All right. Quiet down. Shut Bruce's mic off, would you? Hit him with Orion's belt, would you please? Let's see. Capricorn. Pisces. Thank you. Yes.

46:44 Caller No.

46:45 Adam Yes. Not Pisces.

46:46 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce It's going to be the last one you pick.

46:48 Adam No, I'm telling you, it might even be that one. Let's see. Gemini, Pisces, Libra, Capricorn, Aquarius. No, sir. Yes. Yes. Yes, Aquarius.

47:01 Caller No, keep trying.

47:04 Adam I run out. Let me tell you something. I have done this. I used to do it on the man show all the time. I've done this bit hundreds of times. I'm uncanny on not being able to get someone's sign and not being able to get someone's sign is just as hard, if not harder than actually getting their sign. I argue I have more talent.

47:21 Caller You wait to the last. So it's a process of elimination.

47:24 Adam It's not even the last. I run out. I know 11 and they're the 12th that I never even guess.

47:31 Caller I think you have guessed everything except mine.

47:38 Adam Aren't there like turtles humping? I know. Is there twins? It's Gemini. I'm out of them. I'm out. What are you?

47:45 Caller You didn't guess Virgo but that's okay.

47:47 Adam Virgo.

47:47 Caller No, sir. Yes.

47:49 Adam Virgo, yes.

47:50 Caller No.

47:50 Adam Yes? All right. Now I'm out. What is it?

47:54 Caller I'm going to give you a hint.

47:55 Adam Okay.

47:56 Caller Give me a hint.

47:57 Adam Yeah. Give me a hint. But don't give me any of that. Like I'm feisty, but I have moments of reflection.

48:03 Caller Half animal, half human.

48:05 Adam Oh.

48:06 Caller Carrying.

48:07 Adam Pegasus.

48:08 Caller No. Carrying a bow. An archer.

48:11 Adam Oh, the archer. Yeah. He's the centaur with the bow.

48:18 Caller Yes.

48:19 Adam It's Libra.

48:20 Caller No.

48:21 Adam No, it's cancer. Capricorn.

48:23 Caller No.

48:23 Adam Damn it. I don't know what all that stuff is. I already mixed up. You know what I was thinking about? We gotta take a break. What is it?

48:31 Caller Sagittarius.

48:31 Adam Sagittarius. I knew it. I swear. I think I had it written down here.

48:38 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce You mentioned that to me before the show.

48:40 Adam When you have a feeling, you have a feeling. I don't wanna call it a gift, but I'm gonna go ahead and call it a gift. Yeah, Sagittarius. That's what I'm talking about. Only 14 guesses, too. I was thinking, we'll talk about it when we come back. I was giving some thought to a Pegasus and the flying horse. I was thinking about, you never see one crap, but that would be a disaster. Why?

49:04 Caller Would it be different?

49:06 Adam I'll tell you why. Because a pigeon craps on your car and it ruins a windshield. Imagine a horse. I mean, a pigeon weighs like 11 ounces. A horse like 1,300 pounds.

49:20 Caller They don't fly in groups, so it would be one.

49:22 Adam It would be one, but it would kill you. If there was a Pegasus that was flying at like 9,000 feet, and it just took a big crap, it would go right through your car roof and crush you.

49:32 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce It would freeze up there and then hit you.

49:33 Adam It would go through your neighbor's roof. You'd be getting into arguments. What? Your Pegasus crap? That wasn't my Pegasus. Yes, it was. I think I know my Pegasus crap. There would be no fence could contain them because they're Pegasus.

49:49 Caller That's true.

49:49 Adam They'd fly everywhere and they'd be crapping. You see horses in a parade and that's nonstop crap.

49:55 Caller That's why they're quarantined to the Enchanted Forest. They can't fly over cities because that would be a problem.

50:03 Adam Yeah, it should be like that French plane that breaks a speed barrier. I'll get that in a second. But the point is, is that Sonic Boom can't fly into LAX.

50:14 Caller Yeah.

50:15 Caller All right.

50:16 Adam We're at Concord. Thank you.

50:17 Caller It doesn't fly into LAX?

50:19 Adam No.

50:20 Caller New York, though.

50:21 Adam It did. Yeah, it did. It doesn't fly anywhere. But you can't come up to Concord, by the way, Bruce? No. No. Okay. Take a break. Now, I can't. Sonic Boom. Too loud. Noise problem.

50:32 Caller Good for New York?

50:33 Adam Well, but what would you rather hear, the Sonic Boom or get hit with Pegasus Craft?

50:37 Caller Sonic Boom.

50:37 Adam Sonic Boom, am I right? See, I would argue if I was, if I was like Air France, I go, uh-huh, well, what about the Pegasus?

50:45 Caller I would do with that. Okay.

50:47 Adam Let's take ourselves a break here. We'll be right back after this.

50:51 1-800-LOVE-191.

50:54 Adam Loveline will be right back. Yeah, buddy, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Bruce, that's Mädchen Amick in here tonight.

51:27 Hello.

51:28 Adam She is on ER as well as Jake in Progress, which I'm gonna watch, because I'm a big Stamos fan. All right, let's even take a call and squeeze some in.

51:40 What is Dr. Drew?

51:42 Adam Yeah, I asked myself that all.

51:44 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce I hate that kid.

51:48 Adam Oh, no, I want to talk to Carrie over here. Carrie.

51:53 Caller Hi. Yeah.

51:56 Adam Your boyfriend cries after sex?

51:58 Caller Yeah. I want to know if that's normal or like, he cries after he comes and after he like to ejaculate.

52:06 Adam Oh, both? Okay.

52:09 Caller And I want to know if that's normal. He was the first guy I slept with and it's been happening for six months.

52:17 Adam And he does it every time?

52:18 Caller Yeah. We have sex like two times a day and he does it all the time.

52:24 Adam Yeah. This guy's losing a lot of fluid, a lot of tears, a lot of semen. Twice a day, this guy's bawling his eyes out and that semen drain from his body.

52:32 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Some people have emotional outbursts attached to the orgasm and post-orgasm. So I wouldn't say it's abnormal, I'd say it's unusual.

52:39 Adam Yeah. Well, why don't you go ahead and ask him, Carrie?

52:42 Caller Well, I keep on asking him and he says it's none of my business. I'm like, well, hello, Michael, here's-

52:47 Adam No, he doesn't say it's none of your business. That's what you hear. He doesn't say it's none of your business. Look, listen, goofball, either this is bogus or you're just hearing something that he's not saying. He's not saying it's none of your business. What does he say?

53:04 Caller No, he honestly tells me it's none of my business.

53:07 Adam All right, well then dump him.

53:09 Caller Okay.

53:10 Adam No, seriously, I, you know, this is a deal breaker. Obviously, the guy has issues. And if you say to your partner, why are you crying when they cry twice a day when they're on top of you? And you say, what's the deal? And they go, it's none of your business. Dump them.

53:22 Caller How old are they?

53:25 Adam He's 19. He's 71. Lose cheating on you. Carrie?

53:31 Caller Yeah, I'm Carrie.

53:32 Adam All right, are you depressed? Is there something wrong with you?

53:35 Caller Yeah, a little.

53:36 Adam Okay, well, why don't you get some help for your depression and dump this guy? All right, thanks, sweetie. Sound like a delight. We got to take a break. I ran too long on all my other segments. We'll be right back after this.

53:48 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce All right, guys, here's the deal.

53:49 Caller Looking to hook up? Call the Dateline. Sick of wasting time with the wrong person? Call the Dateline.

53:55 Caller Call the Dateline.

53:57 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce 1-877-889-DATE.

54:37 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Bruce filling in for Dr. Drew. Mädchen Amick is here tonight. She's from ER, Thursday Nights, NBC, 10 o'clock, and also Jake in Progress. Plays one of Jake's lady friends. First couple episodes, so you can enjoy her on that, and right back to the Thursday Nights at ER. What year are we in with ER? 11?

55:04 Caller 11.

55:05 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Wow.

55:05 Adam Wow.

55:06 Caller Isn't it amazing?

55:07 Adam It is.

55:07 Caller Still going strong.

55:09 Adam Yeah. Is it?

55:10 Caller Still top 10.

55:11 Adam I'm trying to think. That is an amazing run. How many episodes is that boiled down to? Do you know? You have any idea?

55:18 Caller I think it's 22 a season.

55:20 Adam Right. So that's 50,000 episodes.

55:24 Yeah.

55:24 Adam That is absolutely amazing. Wow.

55:27 Caller Yeah.

55:28 Yeah.

55:28 Adam They can syndicate now. Let's talk to John who is 23. He is going to go to Germany or Florida with us.

55:35 Caller John? Yeah.

55:36 How is it going?

55:37 Adam Good.

55:38 Caller All right. Seven-year-old girl starved to death by her parents, ate her own hair in a bid to stay alive. The girl also ate pieces of the carpet in the darkened bedroom where she was kept prisoner. She weighed just 21 pounds when she died. The family's well-fed cat weighed 10 pounds. Doctors found that she had cut off some of her hair and eaten it. Hair had caught inside her intestines causing her to vomit and choke, which was the final cause of death. The girl's mother and stepfather found her dead in her bed. Police say the couple lived on Social Security and spent their money on alcohol and cigarettes.

56:17 Adam Feels like Florida to me. I mean, the hair eating and the locked in the room, has a little bit of a German vibe to it.

56:26 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Alcohol and cigarettes.

56:27 Adam Yeah, the alcohol and cigarettes and I think the welfare part too, although he could have done a clever translation.

56:33 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Well, European houses, the carpets are not edible and the floors are mostly wet.

56:38 Caller Yeah.

56:39 Adam Bruce is right. They use a different kind of fiber. They use that Dacron 5 over there, whereas we use the Dacron 3 and the Dacron 7.

56:47 Caller Organic materials.

56:48 Adam That's why everything in my house is made of hemp. In case I get...

56:52 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce It's nutritious...

56:53 Adam .a wife locks me in the room, I can just go ahead and eat. Even the TV sets hemp. I actually eat my plasma, which isn't a stretch considering I've made love to my TV. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Yes, I have. Yes, I have.

57:06 I believe you.

57:07 Adam Well, then I cry, and then I cry.

57:10 I cry.

57:11 Adam I wept openly.

57:12 Caller Then you disappear for a few months.

57:13 Adam Then I'm on the run. Then I ramble.

57:15 Caller I got to ramble.

57:16 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce So John, is this a trick one or is this?

57:17 Adam No. He's not going to tell you if it's a trick one.

57:20 Caller No, I remote the location.

57:21 Caller Hold on. Hold on.

57:22 Adam Quiet down. You're going. You're going. All right. Quiet. You're going Florida?

57:26 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Yes.

57:26 Adam Bruce is going Florida?

57:28 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce I'm two for two. You're over to the two shows I've done before. It's probably my last show.

57:32 The way you're dealing with people.

57:34 Adam Yeah. Matron, what do you think?

57:35 Caller He sounds, what?

57:38 Adam Germany or Florida? What do you think?

57:40 Caller Germany or Florida?

57:41 Caller Yeah.

57:42 Caller Can he be a descendant of Germany?

57:44 Caller No.

57:45 Adam Did this happen in Germany or did this happen in Florida?

57:50 Caller Florida.

57:50 Adam Florida? I'm going to go Germany just to mix it up, John.

57:54 Caller Okay. All right.

57:56 Adam The answer is?

57:57 Caller You are correct, Adam. It was Hamburg, Germany. Yeah.

57:59 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Well, see, those are trick questions. You knew it. I was there.

58:02 Caller You can get the country, but you can't get my son.

58:04 Adam Listen, I got your son. I just had to get through. You know what? It's like this. Here's what it is. It's like a pomegranate. I'm not going to eat the skin. I had to bust it open and flick out a little pulp, and then I get to the sweet, juicy berry that is your son. All right. That's all. It's a pomegranate.

58:22 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce You guessed the opposite and you got it right.

58:24 Adam Yeah. Well, I know that Dr. Bruce is practically cursed.

58:28 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce So I got the last two times right and you got them wrong. But Social Security, that was a trick through that.

58:33 Caller That's what I was going to say.

58:35 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce John, thanks a lot, John.

58:36 Adam John, how do you explain the Social Security part?

58:38 Caller I swear to God, that came right out of the article. I didn't add it.

58:41 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Well, you should have detracted. You should have eliminated it.

58:43 Adam It's their version of Social Security.

58:46 Caller They would throw you off.

58:47 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Okay.

58:48 Adam It's their version.

58:49 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce I can test this Germany part.

58:51 Adam You can't write an article and say they're on Munchendeutschen. You're like, what's that mean?

58:57 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce So don't write, don't put in Social Security.

58:58 Adam Just write Social Security. Thanks, John.

59:02 Caller Yeah, my pleasure.

59:03 Adam You're a genius, buddy. You call anytime, buddy.

59:06 Caller I will do that.

59:07 Adam All right. Thank you.

59:08 Caller All right.

59:08 Adam Now, I want to talk to Jennifer. She's self-conscious about her stomach. Jennifer?

59:14 Yeah.

59:14 Adam You're 21?

59:15 Caller Yeah.

59:16 Adam What's the matter with your stomach?

59:20 Caller Well, you know how everyone has like flat stomachs and that's in?

59:24 Adam No, that's just, that's just, well, it's actually Mädchen, but also that's the people on TV.

59:30 Caller Well, I feel like, like people, they say I'm pretty skinny, but I feel like I have a really big stomach and I'm really so conscious about it.

59:38 Adam Well, what does that mean, really, really big?

59:41 Caller It's like it sticks out further than like my chest. It's bigger than my hips. My waist is big.

59:47 Adam All right. So what is your build? How tall are you?

59:51 Caller I'm 5'9.

59:53 Adam How much do you weigh?

59:54 Caller 1'50.

59:57 Adam Do the math. I got to do a little radio math. 5'9, 1'50. Hold on a second. What's, I was talking to Drew about this, I said one times four is what? Four. And then one times seven is four or is that seven? Seven. Okay. So see one times something is just that something. You know what I'm saying? One times one is like one, and then one times five, it's not one, still five. Yeah. Then one times, but it keeps going like one times 122, still 122. Yeah. Okay. Profound. So she said 150 and she said 59, right?

1:00:38 Caller That doesn't sound bad.

1:00:41 Adam Three and four. Okay. I got five, seven, and 33.64. Just a little bit. And what weight? Over half an inch. And I got 163. I got 163. 163, 163. All right, Jennifer. So according to my radio calculations, you could probably stand to lose a couple of pounds. And if you did that, then maybe the stomach would go with it.

1:01:16 Caller OK.

1:01:17 Adam All right.

1:01:18 Caller I really am 5'9 and 150, I swear.

1:01:20 Adam But I did the radio math. You want me? I could crush the numbers again.

1:01:24 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce You're maybe 10 pounds over ideal body weight, so you're not obese. OK.

1:01:29 Caller Actually, you know, a little bit of stomach is in right now with, you know, these voluptuous figures with Beyoncé.

1:01:36 Caller I've done those things to figure out BMI and it said I was normal weight.

1:01:41 Adam Yeah. The guy's complained, by the way. Any complaints about your figure?

1:01:48 Caller No.

1:01:49 Adam Well, maybe this is just-

1:01:50 Caller I don't like, I cover it up.

1:01:53 Adam All right. Do you have a man?

1:01:55 Caller Not now.

1:01:56 Mm-hmm.

1:01:57 Adam And you're out shopping, you're looking for a boyfriend?

1:02:01 Caller I guess.

1:02:02 Adam What do you do?

1:02:05 Caller I'm a student.

1:02:06 Mm-hmm.

1:02:07 Adam Where do you go?

1:02:08 Caller I go to a community college.

1:02:11 Caller Uh-oh.

1:02:12 Caller Yeah.

1:02:12 Adam And please, please, people, can we stop calling it community college and call it what it's, what it really is, junior college, junior college.

1:02:19 Caller I went to a university, but I am, I was doing bad because I'm depressed.

1:02:24 Adam Oh, baby.

1:02:25 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Why are you depressed?

1:02:26 Adam What's up?

1:02:27 Caller I don't know.

1:02:28 Caller Okay.

1:02:29 Adam All right. Everyone's depressed tonight. Let's go, everybody. Let's get it together.

1:02:33 Caller You only go around once.

1:02:35 Adam You gotta have a good time.

1:02:36 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Do you see a therapist?

1:02:37 Caller You don't know why you're depressed?

1:02:39 Caller No, I was seeing a therapist, but, um, like, it wasn't helping any.

1:02:44 Adam Oh, well, yeah, it takes a little while. Years even.

1:02:48 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Are you on an anti-depressant or have you ever been?

1:02:51 Caller Yeah, I'm on remeron and cimbalta.

1:02:54 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Okay. So have you had any body-

1:02:56 Adam What's cimbalta? Where the hell's that come from? Like Nairobi?

1:03:01 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Have you- Cimbalta.

1:03:02 Adam Medicine man has to prescribe that.

1:03:04 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Sounds like it.

1:03:05 Adam Yeah, it's not a doctor.

1:03:06 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce In talking with a therapist, have you had any body image issues where they felt that you had an unrealistic view of what you looked like or some people feel like they're overweight or they have certain parts of their body that are inappropriately large or small and quite-

1:03:24 Adam Jennifer?

1:03:24 Caller Yeah.

1:03:24 Adam To you?

1:03:25 Caller Yeah. They never said anything.

1:03:28 Adam All right. Listen, Jennifer, I'm going to give you my keys to happiness, all right? Yeah. Everyone's depressed and people can't afford the shrink and they don't want to go to the shrink and it's stigma surrounding it and everything. Here's what everyone's got to do. First off, when you're depressed, you don't want to move. You really, it zaps you of any energy. It just robs you. You're like a battery that's almost ready for the garbage can. You just are. You have to kick yourself to get yourself to move, but you have to do it. Even if it's painful. You got a first thing you have to do, you have to exercise. It's like physically move. You have to go for a jog every day, or you have to go to the park and do some chin ups or something like that. You have to physically move because part of the depression, it just robs you of any movement.

1:04:24 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce The problem with that is true endogenous depression when it is-

1:04:27 Adam True, yes.

1:04:28 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Then as it gets more severe, you actually get to the point where you cannot physically get yourself up out of bed. I mean, I've seen that kind of clinical depression.

1:04:35 Adam Everyone listen to Bruce and kill yourself.

1:04:37 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce No.

1:04:37 Adam I agree.

1:04:38 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce No, that kind of clinical depression is-

1:04:39 Adam Yeah, of course, jackass.

1:04:41 Caller It actually helps depression.

1:04:42 Adam Yeah, but I'm talking about the 90% of people that are calling this show, not the 10% that are clinically severely depressed as defined by a medical textbook. There's a lot of people that are hovering in a place where they could go either way. They start drinking a few extra beers and watching an extra couple of hours of TiVo night, they will slide in the wrong direction. Certain amount of this stuff is chemical, certain amount of it is clinical, and there's nothing-

1:05:12 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Let me just finish what I was going to say.

1:05:13 Adam Oh, please. Go ahead.

1:05:14 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce You're going in the right direction, but along with the exercise, especially for her to continue with therapy, to work with a therapist and a psychiatrist, and what happens too many times, you start a patient on a certain antidepressant recombination, and if it doesn't work right away or they give it a few weeks, then didn't work, they quit, they quit going to therapy. It's the type of thing, exercise is a crucial part of-

1:05:36 Adam No, it's not that big a deal. I'm not really even talking to her. I'm talking to all the jackasses that call this show. She's on two forms of meds. She's probably a little further gone than a lot of the people that listen to this show. You need to throw yourself on the mercy of your doctor and of your psychiatrist or psychologist or whatever. I'm not going to tell you not to do that. But I'm going to tell you there's a lot of people that are depressed and may not even know it. They don't even have a diagnosis. I'm saying you people have to get up in the morning, you have to do something. You have to find something that you want to do. You have to find something that flips your cookie a little bit. And it'll be in surprising places. I say you got to put some headphones on, listen to some classical music and take some long walks on a trail or in a park or something. 50-50 chance you'll get right. But if that doesn't happen, it's going to help the depression. You also need to start doing other things. Go volunteer somewhere. Go get a Catholic big brother or Jewish little sister or whatever the hell you got to do. Actually doing stuff for other people sort of pulls you out of it a little. And then find something you're into. Find a sport, find an activity, find people that share that activity. You got to sort of kick yourself and almost force yourself to live. Quiet, Bruce. I don't want to hear anything about that the people are clinically depressed and need to be on meds. Thank you.

1:06:54 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce You're welcome.

1:06:55 Adam All right.

1:06:55 If this is true, you're going to go to jail, buddy.

1:06:58 Adam All right.

1:07:00 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Sheriff, Sheriff Bruce.

1:07:02 Adam Jose?

1:07:04 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:07:05 Adam Yeah, let me tell you something about that Dr. Drew. You think Bruce is a piece of work. I had Drew in here last night. Drew makes an appearance every once in a while. It's awesome. He comes in, flashes his big pearly whites, it's a little cameo. He had to leave at 11. But it was still great to see him back in the studio. He was, we're talking about his kids. Drew has the triplets. I think they're 12 now. Well, I was jokingly saying, you're going to drug test your kids. He's like, I think that's part of responsible parenting. I'm like, no, you got to drug test your kid if he starts effing up, his grades start slipping, what happened? He urinated on the sofa and punched the nanny. Okay, let's test him for drugs. But you're not just going to start testing your kids for drugs. Just randomly. He's like, oh yeah.

1:07:58 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce He is not.

1:08:01 Adam Oh yeah. If Chris was listening during this time last night.

1:08:07 Time to start listening, god damn it.

1:08:08 Adam Yeah, there you go.

1:08:09 Caller He looked pretty serious.

1:08:10 Adam He was deadly serious. I said, Drew, you can't just test your kid. His kids are great students.

1:08:17 Caller Can't you tell though, if they are?

1:08:19 Adam That's what I said. I said, by the way, I come in here on one Heineken and your alarm bells are going off over your head. Who's been drinking? Has someone been drinking? I swear to God, poor Ann came in here one night. He's like, what's going on? Who's drinking? Someone's drinking? Ann's like, I had a glass of Chardonnay with dinner. Aha, it's like that was three hours ago. Yeah, you can smell it. Yeah, I was like, Drew, you don't need to test your kids for drugs. You're going to know the day they take the drug. You will know that afternoon. If they got high at noon and they come home at 2.30, you're going to be like, who's been smoking pot? You've been smoking pot. This is like living with McGruff, the crime dog. Why test it?

1:08:58 Caller Maybe he's just threatening them so they won't even try.

1:09:02 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce I don't think they're listening to Loveline.

1:09:04 Adam No. He does feel, though, I tried to talk him out of it. I don't think I did. He feels that he needs to test his kids for drugs randomly, but not a preemptive strike, not going to wait for him to f up. He's getting there first, and he believes in it wholeheartedly.

1:09:23 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce See, I think-

1:09:24 Adam He's going nuts, by the way. No, Drew's going insane. I'm going to talk to Drew lately. He's going insane.

1:09:29 Take a little Vicodin tonight, take some codeine, smoke a little heroin.

1:09:34 Adam Yeah. You see? He does all that, but he doesn't want his kid to smoke a little reefer.

1:09:38 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce That's why he wants to drug test the kid.

1:09:39 Yeah. He's going to hire a canine or something.

1:09:45 Adam Yeah. Bruce, what's going on with you? Bruce brought me a hookah pipe. You want to talk about that? No.

1:09:51 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Well, I confiscated that hookah pipe.

1:09:52 Adam Confiscated.

1:09:53 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce But you saw that pipe and you were like, wow, that's cool.

1:09:57 Adam Bruce came over. Bruce, I have a bar in my house.

1:10:00 Caller Is it the Hawaiian theme?

1:10:03 Adam It's got kind of a 70s Milwaukee kind of theme.

1:10:08 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce He's got dollars. If Susan B. Anthony or some sort of dollars in acrylic in the bar underneath. So when guys start drinking and they're drunk, they're going to try and pick up these dollars and just bring.

1:10:18 Adam I'm not going to allow. It's not going to be open to the public. Oh, I'm sorry. Just close friends. Since you let me in. So Bruce would come by. Bruce comes by, brings a whole sack of stuff because Bruce is a pack rat and he has all these seltzer bottles from the 20s and ashtrays from Vegas and it's great. He brings a whole sack of stuff over to the bar. One of them is a huge hookah pipe. I'm like, where did you get the hookah pipe? It's a confiscated from a family member and then Bruce, Bruce was supposed to be addiction medicine. He's like, what's hookah? What is this hookah? I said it's pot or it's hash.

1:10:52 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce It is not.

1:10:53 Adam It is.

1:10:54 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce I was testing you, Adam. It's actually more of a form of tobacco.

1:10:58 Adam Hookah pipe is used to smoke. People smoke weed out of it.

1:11:02 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Is it the big glass thing?

1:11:04 Caller It's very popular right now in high school kids.

1:11:09 Caller Coffee houses.

1:11:10 Adam Okay.

1:11:11 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce My stepdaughter had it. It just sort of disappeared. Then she goes, where's my hookah pipe? I said it's at Adam. She goes, Adam Corolla is my hookah pipe?

1:11:18 Caller Yeah.

1:11:19 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Sorry, Lauren.

1:11:20 Adam No, but here's the thing. Maybe if you live in Bangladesh, you use it to suck hookah off of a tobacco. But if you're 16 and you live in the United States, and you have a hookah pipe, you use it to smoke weed out of it.

1:11:37 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce You hear that, Lauren? That's what I was telling her. She's like, no.

1:11:39 Adam Oh, please. You want to smoke tobacco? I got something called cigarettes. In fact, I'm like 250 years ago. It's awesome.

1:11:47 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce I'm hip to that, Adam.

1:11:48 Adam Okay. All right. Just as long as you're hip. So the point is, I now have Bruce's stepdaughter's hookah pipe. Anything else you find, syringes?

1:11:57 Caller You bring them over.

1:11:58 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Yeah, right.

1:11:58 Adam Yeah. Those little heroin kits or maybe just a little mirror, a razor blade, straw, whatever she's got. Bring it on over.

1:12:08 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Like the time we put Botox in Adam's forehead to make him stop sweating.

1:12:11 Adam I'll use it. Didn't work.

1:12:12 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Didn't work. He started to pass out on the air.

1:12:14 Adam Jose, shut up.

1:12:16 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Drew's going, keep going, keep going.

1:12:17 Adam Pass out on the air. How dare you? Jose?

1:12:19 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce I've had anal sex and I passed out a couple of times.

1:12:21 Adam Bruce, please. We have to go to the calls now. Jose?

1:12:24 Yeah.

1:12:25 Adam You're 17?

1:12:26 Caller Yeah.

1:12:27 Adam All right. I'm sorry, Mr. Personality. What's up?

1:12:30 Caller Nothing. I had a question for Bruce. All right. I'm like a bigger guy. Lately, I've been lifting weights a lot, pumping iron. I've been bulking up and I want to know about tattoos. If I got one right now, later on, will it stretch out and get deformed?

1:12:51 Caller My mind went to the gutter when he said I'm a bigger guy.

1:12:54 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Yeah, me too. I wouldn't admit. You know what? You have enough stretch in your skin and the density of the ink. If it's a professionally done tattoo, you're not going to have a lot of deformity of the tattoo. But of course, if you're doing steroids and really bulking up, then yes, it will start to look a little bit.

1:13:12 Adam Well, also, that's where you get it, right? If you get it on the back of your neck.

1:13:17 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce No, I mean, he's talking about a biceps tattoo, I would assume.

1:13:19 Adam I don't know. What are you talking about, Jose?

1:13:21 Full back.

1:13:24 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Okay. Well, anywhere you have, you have muscle everywhere and if you start bulking up in your back, but you'd really have to bulk up.

1:13:30 Adam What are you going to get? Are you going to get the traditional accordion? If you get the accordion, you're covered.

1:13:36 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce You're covered.

1:13:36 Adam Yeah, that's my feeling. What are you going to get, Jose?

1:13:40 Caller I was thinking along the lines of like, I'm not really sure, you know, maybe Dragon.

1:13:45 Adam Dragon. Full back.

1:13:47 Caller Well, it's got a lot of scales. That could work if you get big.

1:13:51 Adam That seems ambitious for 17. Why don't you start off with it? Doesn't anyone get mother anymore?

1:13:56 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce I had a guy that had the word tattoo, tattooed on when he was drunk.

1:13:58 Adam Oh, really?

1:13:58 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:13:59 Adam Ironic.

1:14:00 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce He's about 50 and vice president of some huge company.

1:14:03 Adam And he had the word tattoo, tattooed on him.

1:14:05 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Yeah. He got drunk, went down.

1:14:07 Adam I guess he could have put arm on it too.

1:14:10 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce He could have put something on it a lot.

1:14:12 Adam Where do you get the tattoo, tattooed?

1:14:15 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce By the upper outer arm.

1:14:16 Adam The shoulder there?

1:14:17 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce F the LAPD is one of my favorites to remove.

1:14:19 Adam Oh, really?

1:14:20 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce From the forehead.

1:14:21 Adam Seen a few of those. Forehead?

1:14:22 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:14:23 Adam Wow. Nice when you get pulled over. Hey, Jose.

1:14:27 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:14:28 Adam All right. Here's what I would say. You're 17. Yeah. All right. Let me give everyone a quick talking to. Chris, you're listening?

1:14:38 Caller Yeah, I'm listening.

1:14:39 Adam I know you're 29, but I have you sort of an honorary 17. I'm 32 now. A 32. I have you as an honorary 17-year-old, so you're included in all these speeches. Lives at home, goes to junior college. No, I'm not saying that.

1:14:52 Caller Community college.

1:14:53 Adam Community college. I'm not being pejorative here. I'm just saying he's young at heart. That's all I'm saying.

1:14:58 Caller Thanks, man.

1:14:59 Adam Yeah. Here's what I'm saying. There's a lot of ideas you have when you're 17, especially as a guy, but it is a girl, too, that thank God aren't permanent. You know what I'm saying? If you could sign a deal with the devil, you would date somebody at 17 and you'd still be with them today, and that would probably be a mistake. You would drive the same car. Imagine if you could pick out the car you wanted to drive at 17. You would have it your whole life, and you would immediately, someone would say, all right, I will give you this car, but you'll have to drive it for the rest of your natural life. Where do I sign? I'd be driving a half track. God knows what kind of crappy Pontiac Fire Arrow or something you'd be driving. You know what I'm saying?

1:15:45 Caller Chevrolet Citation. Do you remember that?

1:15:47 Adam Oh, yes. Yes. But it would have to be a little bit nicer for you to do the where do I sign thing. But the point is, you would do it with your hair, you would do it with your boyfriend or girlfriend, you would do it with your car, you would do it with a job. So if you could get this job, you would be on a soap opera for the rest of your life. You would be like, oh my god, I have to drive the citation and have the two-stage bullet and work on a day's work. Where do I sign? Where do I sign? Thank god you can't sign anything because you grow up, you get a little more mature, you get a little education, you go, what was I thinking? You go back and look at a yearbook. What was I thinking?

1:16:22 Caller That's why I haven't got a tattoo.

1:16:24 Adam That's the thing about-

1:16:25 Caller I can't decide what I would want to have for the rest of my life.

1:16:26 Adam That's the thing about tats. They're very permanent. If you make your move at 17, it could be just like that other thing you thought was cool at 17, that turns out not to be so cool. So my advice with any permanent stuff is just sit on it for a few more years and then make your move once your brain is dried.

1:16:45 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:16:46 Adam You know what I mean?

1:16:46 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Or sit on it, put the tattoo on your ass.

1:16:48 Adam I'll put it on your ass.

1:16:49 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Early.

1:16:50 Adam Yeah.

1:16:51 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce I write some very left cheek.

1:16:53 Adam I got one says left cheek.

1:16:54 Caller See that?

1:16:56 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:16:57 Adam All right. Should we take a, and Bruce, you can remove tattoos, can you not? Sure.

1:17:01 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:17:01 Adam With the laser?

1:17:02 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Yeah. They can go to drbruce.com of course, and send me an e-mail message. I get lots of interesting e-mails.

1:17:08 Adam How many sessions would it take?

1:17:10 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce It's an average of eight sessions a month apart.

1:17:13 Adam A month apart?

1:17:14 You have to have a laser on your faggoty self.

1:17:17 Adam Oh, Drew, please. What? Why month apart? It takes that time to recover?

1:17:25 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce The tattoo removal laser is fairly gentle. You don't get bleeding, you don't get a lot of trauma, but it's just breaking up the top layer of ink. Takes a month, two months to absorb those broken up pieces of ink, and then you do it again, and so it's layer by layer by layer.

1:17:39 Caller How many layers is a tattoo?

1:17:42 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Well, it's about 8 to 12 treatments.

1:17:44 Adam You go with that black star.

1:17:46 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Yeah, the nautical stars, a lot of those are coming off, I'll tell you that.

1:17:49 Adam But what about the black stars? Blue raws would take a lot of layers, yeah. Yeah, that's an expensive removal.

1:17:56 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Yeah, that's not bad.

1:17:58 Adam Where if you went with like Truman Capote or something wouldn't it be a big deal? You get that in three, four sessions, right?

1:18:05 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce The light wouldn't even touch it.

1:18:06 Adam All right, let's take ourselves a little break. Chris, Truman Capote?

1:18:11 Caller Yeah, I read his book back in high school.

1:18:12 Yeah, buddy.

1:18:14 Adam I'll tell you what that was. Let me tell you what Chris just did there.

1:18:17 Caller That's good.

1:18:20 Adam Chris went to the plate three or four times this game. He had a couple of strikeouts and then one where he tried to bunt and he did that chip right back to the pitcher where he caught it and he doubled this guy up over at first. You know what that was?

1:18:32 Caller Have you read the book though?

1:18:33 Adam That was, hold on a second. I'm giving you a compliment. That was a solid, just a laser beam triple that went right down the line and just smacked the wall. It never got more than eight feet off the ground but didn't skip before it hit the wall. Just pow, caromed into the corner. Yeah, that was a good stand up triple right there, buddy. Cool, man. That's a good day for you. No, I have not read the book. As you know, I believe reading poisons the mind. Yes, all right, he's back. All right, let's take a little break, shall we? We shall. All right, we'll be right back after this.

1:19:15 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back.

1:19:43 Adam Yeah, buddy, it's Loveline, I'm Adam, that's Dr. Bruce. Breath of fresh air, Dr. Bruce. Always a good time. Brings his laser in here. Yeah, he's good.

1:19:55 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce When are we gonna do some hair removal?

1:19:56 Adam Yeah, soon. Listen, I did that hair removal on my neck once because I was getting ingrown hairs when I shaved my neck, or the bottom part of my, where my Adam's apple is. And so they did it. I did it with that quack Dr. Marcel, charged me full price by the way. Supposed to be a friend of the show. Jesus Christ.

1:20:21 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce He's a great guy.

1:20:22 Adam Oh yeah. Let me tell you something.

1:20:23 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Drew's buddy.

1:20:24 Adam Yeah, he's a good guy. But let me tell you something about these plastic surgery guys. They're a little bit creepy. Always a little. They got the tan and the pinky ring. They're kind of doctors, but not. The bling bling. They got a little bling bling.

1:20:38 Caller There's a little used car salesman in there.

1:20:40 Adam Here's a little. It's mostly used car salesman. Yeah, they're dicey guys. Let's face it. If they cared about people, they'd be podiatrists, but they care about money. But Marcel's a good guy. I like him. Yeah, I don't want to go camping with him, but I like him. Although he could have given me a break on the laser. So he gave me the laser. They do the neck laser thing. Because I shave, I get ingrown hairs in my neck. So they go, you just laser your neck, and then the hair never grows back, and then you never get the ingrown hairs. Quiet Bruce, takes like three treatments to do it. Yeah, the hair fell out, hurt like hell. Then it came back, and ironically, when the hairs came back, they got ingrown because they fell out. They were too deep now. It was just a disaster. It all grew back.

1:21:27 Caller Did you do all three sessions?

1:21:28 Adam I think I did two. You didn't do it. Then they're like, there's always, yeah, well, here's what it is. Whenever somebody has a treatment that doesn't really do anything, they always leave themselves an ounce like, well, for most people, it's two or three sessions, but you never know. Yeah, the never know part, that's the infinity part.

1:21:45 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Five to seven sessions for you.

1:21:47 Adam For most people, dark haired people, is your mother black? No? Okay. For most Caucasians, most of the time, again, there's no guarantees, everyone's different, everyone's different. They just hide behind that, nothing ever works.

1:22:02 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce You should have finished the five to seven treatments, and the majority of people.

1:22:06 Adam I would have had to mortgage my house.

1:22:07 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Well, that's unfortunate.

1:22:08 Adam Yeah. Marcel, full price. I think he charged me extra. If he didn't know me, I would have got a better rate.

1:22:13 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce You're probably razzin him the whole time.

1:22:16 Adam I'm razzin him? You think he did it? Or you think it's the coach, the female gymnastics wrangler from the Czech Republic?

1:22:25 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Probably the Czech Republic.

1:22:26 Adam You hold still. Yes. No, stop whining. Put dice. Put dice. Put the whole dice.

1:22:31 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Well, we should have burned somebody.

1:22:33 Adam Hold still. Get an underwear. I'm working on my neck. Get an underwear. I was in my underpants. Seriously. I had to get down to my underpants and I wear a banana hammock type. I'm just saying, Mädchen, I'm not just saying that for you, but that's how I dress. That's my thing. My family. My dad's from Italy. It's just the way we swing. That's all. I'm not saying it. I mean, I'm saying it, but it's because it's true. It's not a full thong back. Actually, not a full thong back creepier than thong back on a guy. I would say it's not a full thong back. It's not a full thong back, but I'm not allowed to wear it on most beaches out here in the United States. Yeah. Just put it that way. Bad visual. Eddie?

1:23:22 Yeah, go ahead.

1:23:23 Adam You're good? You ready to go, buddy?

1:23:25 I'm ready to go, man.

1:23:26 Adam All right, go for Eddie.

1:23:28 Yeah, I'm right here. Are you here?

1:23:30 Adam Yeah, copy.

1:23:33 10-4, 10-4, big buddy.

1:23:34 Adam You're on, good buddy.

1:23:36 Caller Copy that, Dr. Doug.

1:23:36 Cool, cool. I got a question about masturbation.

1:23:40 Adam Good, copy that.

1:23:41 Caller Go ahead. Yeah. I find myself doing it at least five times a day.

1:23:49 Adam That's affirmative. That's affirmative.

1:23:51 Caller Affirmative, copy, 10-4. I still have a girlfriend, so that's pretty sad, and I haven't discussed it with her because I don't want to make her feel like she's not cutting the mustard.

1:24:02 Adam Yeah, that's negatory, rubber duck.

1:24:05 Caller All right.

1:24:06 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Rubber sheet.

1:24:07 Caller Rubber bib.

1:24:10 Caller I don't know what it could be. I'm hoping it's not leading towards angry sex because, yeah, that doesn't look good on any resume. Or like any other, you know, conversation topic. But it's been going on for about like five years. I've been sexually active since 15.

1:24:31 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Are there any abuse issues in your childhood, in your youth?

1:24:35 Caller Actually, no. It's been pretty peachy keen.

1:24:39 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Five times a day plus, you know.

1:24:41 Caller That's minimal. Well, it depends. It's like if I go to the beach and I see a bunch of hot chicks and more summer, then I'm like a chihuahua and I keep going. But other than that, it's...

1:24:52 Adam I could slow them down on my modified tongue.

1:24:54 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Yeah, you just want to wait.

1:24:56 Adam It's not technically a tongue.

1:24:57 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce It might cause some permanent damage. Eddie, look, a quick answer to your question. There is something, there is compulsive sex. There are people that have issues around that. I would definitely talk to a therapist because there are a lot more questions than Adam's going to allow me to answer.

1:25:12 Adam Well, why don't you just, can you reel it in? Because if you can't, you can't reel in it. Can you go, what if you just limited yourself to three times a day? Do you think you could do that?

1:25:26 Caller Well, I mean, I could control it to a point. I don't even know how to explain it. It's just, my girlfriend is doing the job and everything and she's like hot and stuff. Well, she's not like Jessica Alba.

1:25:37 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Ask Adam. He's the expert in this area.

1:25:40 Adam How dare you?

1:25:41 Caller You do it and you're fine. You know, you're a celebrity. You know, so I think I just don't want anything to happen.

1:25:48 Adam I don't want to lead to like, hold on, this is, but look, this is bogus. Eddie, I don't believe you. I think you're full of crap. No, I really don't believe you.

1:25:58 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce I believe you, Eddie.

1:25:59 Adam The only thing that makes you not believe you, Morris, when the I don't believe you gets answered with, you don't believe me.

1:26:06 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Well.

1:26:06 Adam You don't believe me?

1:26:08 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce That's a fairly generic loveline call.

1:26:10 Adam Okay. Here's the thing.

1:26:11 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce And that is a problem.

1:26:12 Adam Whatever it is, if you're compulsive to do something and you can't stop, then you have a problem and you need to get yourself checked out.

1:26:19 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Right.

1:26:19 Adam And that's all.

1:26:20 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Seeing hot women and then feeling more compulsive. I'm not sure how.

1:26:25 Adam When you're definitely pliable at 21 as a guy.

1:26:29 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:26:31 Adam As a guy at 21, you just see like Mentos commercial or something like, oh yeah, look at her. Wow. What's that? Okay. Oh, that's right. It's a switch.

1:26:40 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce But to go into full arousal, I mean, he's in an intimate relationship. He's having sex a couple of times a day and then he's automatically aroused by seeing a woman's body in the same time. Sounds like he may have had some trigger set off by some sexual inappropriate.

1:26:55 Adam That was bogus. What are we speculating for?

1:26:58 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce But for people to have that issue there, there are disorders that are described in that way by individuals.

1:27:05 Adam So it seems like the lion's share of emotional or mental disorders manifests themselves with some sort of sexual behavior, right? I think it's sort of where everything ends up getting channeled into the bedroom, whether it's on yourself or on your partner. Yes? Thank you.

1:27:21 Caller For our basic need.

1:27:22 Adam Thank you, Mädchen. Bruce, that's as good as agreement when Bruce just puts a puss on.

1:27:29 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Yeah, but there's a lot of... Good radio.

1:27:33 Adam That's a big affirmative.

1:27:34 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce I've heard it before.

1:27:34 Adam Yeah, it's a great radio.

1:27:36 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce But there is a lot of sexual abuse that occurs, and even inappropriate viewing of pornography at a very young age.

1:27:42 Adam How are you going to... By the way, I tried like hell to get my hands on pornography from zero to 18. Not much luck.

1:27:51 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce But especially from zero to eight, zero to ten.

1:27:53 Adam Yeah, you run across occasional penthouse or something back in the day, but how are you going to keep your kids off it these days? I mean, first off, who can't work a computer? I mean, people work that keyboard like Evelyn Wood. I don't know. She's a speed reader.

1:28:13 Caller Maybe she could type.

1:28:14 Adam Yeah, but what are you going to do? I mean, like, what do you do with your 12-year-old, the 13-year-old, going over to the friend's house? Is it particularly, you know, like type 60 words a second?

1:28:23 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce I mean, it's more accessible, so there have to be more measures taken.

1:28:27 Adam Oh, I mean, listen.

1:28:29 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce I watched my eight-year-old on the computer. You're right. But if you put some of the filters in there where they can't go to the site.

1:28:34 Adam I know. But that, I mean, obviously you put up some some you do what you do with everything. You get an alarm on your house, you put some bars up or something, but it doesn't. If someone wants to get in, they get in.

1:28:45 Caller It is a different time.

1:28:46 Adam Yeah. I mean.

1:28:46 Caller They're exposed a lot more.

1:28:47 Adam What about this, too? It's like you got a 12, 13-year-old son. He just, who's he into? Britney Spears? Oh, look at that. It sounds unrealistic. celebritieskin.com. Oh, that's awesome.

1:29:00 Caller Well, now they have these sexual predators on the computer that have bought up all the different versions of the way to spell Britney Spears. So if a kid goes on just to innocently look at Britney Spears, it directs them to a website of a predator.

1:29:15 Adam Yeah, Bruce has that for his name. There's Bruce, B-R-U-S-S.

1:29:21 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce I'll tell you one thing. Once you have kids, if you think of a predator, you just want to strangle them, right? You want to kill them. Yeah, and then you realize how innocent kids are and what. For somebody to have sexual fantasies or want to hurt a child, once you have kids, then you can understand.

1:29:39 Adam Yeah.

1:29:40 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Vengeance.

1:29:40 Adam They can be cured with a few.

1:29:42 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Yeah, they can be.

1:29:42 Adam If you get a couple of years in prison, I'll cure them, right?

1:29:45 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:29:45 Adam They come out.

1:29:46 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Couple of years in prison and put them in the general population and tell them what they did to those kids and they'll get what they deserve.

1:29:53 Adam I like women and if I went in prison for a few years, I'd come out. I wouldn't like women anymore. You wouldn't either, right? I like a nice rack on a woman. You send me in the joint for five years, I come back. I learned my lesson. I'm not interested in that anymore.

1:30:06 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Send those child molesters to prison.

1:30:08 Adam Yeah. My old thing is, let's put it this way. If for some reason, if homosexuality was illegal and it's just illegal, so we bust you for homosexuality and we send you to prison, go think about what you're corn-holing ways for four years. When the guy gets out, he's hetero, he's straight. No, he's gay as he was when he went in. If you're a heterosexual guy who hams like Asian women and you go to jail for some reason, you come out wanting more Asian women. I don't, look, if you're into nine-year-olds, I think you're into nine-year-olds.

1:30:47 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Yeah, absolutely.

1:30:49 Adam I see that as more powerful than my love of the busty broads or the gay guy's love of the other man or the guy's love of the Asian women. That's your thing. I mean, and that's how guys are. They sort of have their thing. Thank God most guys are just into attractive women for the most part. But there's a lot of guys that are into young boys or young girls. And you sitting around for 14 months in the joint is not going to change that that much. I don't see how it does. It probably, you know, I mean, you can tell someone what they're doing is wrong. But I don't think if you just make it, if you go, forget about pedophilia, you just go gay. I mean, you just do the analogy with the gay thing, like, I like men and society says, that's wrong. You shouldn't like men. We're going to make a rule that you can't like men. Put them in jail. They're still going to like guys.

1:31:40 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce I think, yeah, you just don't cure somebody with their sexual orientation. If your sexual orientation is to kids, then watch out.

1:31:47 Adam I would argue it's more powerful than the other ones.

1:31:51 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce It is, you're right.

1:31:51 Adam The deviant one is more powerful.

1:31:52 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Absolutely.

1:31:53 Adam Therefore, what?

1:31:54 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Therefore, lock them on an island.

1:31:56 Adam Island of Predators? This is an idea for a movie, Predator Island. It's the year, you know what the year is? 2025. We've created an island because these guys just repeat, they're repeat offenders. We can't do anything with them, but the ACLU and the liberal homos, they won't let us put them down. So we have an island and we put the Predators on this island. But here's what happens. And then, you know, it's like any, it's sort of Lord of the Flies with the pedophiles. They just have, you know, leaders emerge. There's the worker drone pedophiles. They're all in this island together and they've all done wrong. And then a plane crashes, plane of Cub Scouts. Plane of Cub Scouts crash onto Predator.

1:32:44 Caller May I actually make a reality show of this?

1:32:46 Adam Predator Island. Yeah. But these are Eagle Scouts on their way back from an Eagle Scouting thing in the Bahamas. You know, because they're very gauche these days. They really sold like some kerchiefs or something and raised some money. And they went to Bermuda this year. But the plane crashes. Genius. Scout. Scoutmaster dies in the crash.

1:33:12 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Go with it.

1:33:12 Adam But the kids survive. But they're on Pedophile Island. And they know it immediately because they see the flag and they, you know, the flag of the 45 year old bending over a nine year old. And it's not a tasteful flag, but still I think it lets people know where they're at. And they land. And of course, these guys are hungry. It's been years since they've been with a young man. All they have is this rotting flesh on the island and they're they're chasings and in the Cubs guys, they have to use their skills to survive. To survive. And there's, by the way, there's, there's no merit badge for avoiding a pedophile. You have to think of that on the fly. And they're making like Burmese tiger traps, put sharpened bamboo and stuff. They do that thing where the pedophile is chasing the guy. They used to want his bait. He's a cute blonde kid, his bait. Yeah. And he's running on, pedophile jumps and, snared, tree springs up, he's hanging upside down. They beat him with a stick.

1:34:13 Caller Who will survive?

1:34:15 Adam We don't, oh, you're asking me? I don't know.

1:34:17 Caller No.

1:34:17 Adam No, we're going to see.

1:34:19 Caller You can't have anybody survive or it would be cancelled.

1:34:21 Adam Pedophile Island. I think, put it further in the future, plane crashes on it.

1:34:25 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce With Android robot boys so that when the molesters come, these things just blow their heads off.

1:34:33 Adam No, no, no, no, that's horrible, Bruce. That's not. First off, I'm sorry. I think it's in poor taste. I don't think it's funny. I don't feel like you should be kidding about that.

1:34:47 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce I need to be punished.

1:34:48 Adam I feel like we need to go to break. I just.

1:34:50 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce You can punish me during break.

1:34:52 Adam I want you to think about what you said during the break. Yeah, and at the end, I'm trying to figure out what happens. They build a glider. They build a glider on the top of the mountain. These are pedophiles. They're rushing up the mountain to get that. They're highly motivated at this point. Some of them have been there since the 70s. They're just trucking up this mountain trying to get to this young flesh and all this gust of wind comes in. You hear that music. They always make the same music when they actually start flying. They fly to an island in Bermuda and then they're ironically raped when they land there by more pedophiles. It turns out these guys are all over the place. But they're different pedophiles. I didn't know these guys. But still, Pedophile Island. Maybe we get Stamos signed up for this. His agent probably wouldn't want him to do it.

1:35:44 Caller Would he be the Cub Scout or would he be the pedophile?

1:35:47 Adam I think, here's what he would be because I don't think he would go. I don't think he could be, I don't think Stamos would go for being the actual pedophile. Here's what it is. He's the beloved Cub Scout leader who's injured severely in the plane crash. And he tells the young Cub Scouts, go, go without me, go. And they're like, we're not leaving you. And they make like a tourniquet and like a lean-to and a, I don't know, a makeshift, what is that thing, Bruce? Yeah, they make a makeshift gurney. That's not a gurney, it's this one.

1:36:24 Caller The walker thing.

1:36:25 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Stretcher.

1:36:26 Adam Stretcher. They make one out of bamboo and sheets and they carry him with them. But he keeps saying, I'm too heavy. Leave me, leave me alone. And it's his spirit that moves the boy. Yeah, Stamos would do that.

1:36:40 Caller And they have to take his revenge.

1:36:43 Adam It's powerful. It's powerful because he's too, he weighs too much for the glider. But the boys insist he goes. And and they use him as ballast on the glider and it works. But he this is an Emmy performance for Stamos because he's he's banged up bad the whole the whole time and he keeps begging the kids that go without. And he does that thing where he leave me here. I'll hold off the pedophiles. Yeah.

1:37:06 Caller Yeah.

1:37:06 Adam Awesome. Yeah. Powerful stuff. Okay.

1:37:09 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Drew will want to be a medical consultant to that one.

1:37:11 Adam Let's, he's saying he's a pedophile. Okay. That's good. We'll take a break. We'll be right back after this. Yeah, everybody, that's what I'm talking about. Mädchen Amick is here tonight. She is from ER, Thursday nights, 10 o'clock, NBC, and also little something called Charles in Charge. Now, Jake in Progress, which has my favorite, John Stamos, NBC. Yeah, that's coming up, so look for that. And one time, female cousin touched him. What the? Hold for 120 minutes. What the? Zach?

1:38:19 Caller Yeah. How are you doing?

1:38:21 Adam Good, buddy. How are you doing?

1:38:23 Caller I'm a little upset.

1:38:26 Adam Yeah. Your female cousin touched you when you were nine? She was 11?

1:38:31 Caller Yeah, multiple times. Multiple.

1:38:34 Adam And when you say touched, how? What's the furthest it went?

1:38:38 Caller Well, she went as far as to where... Of course, I was nine. I wasn't able to get it up yet. She would rub it on her vagina. She could... Sometimes she would say... She said say stuff, too.

1:38:57 Adam All right. Well, here's the thing, Zach. Here's what I know. First off, could be a subplot of Pedophile Island. But secondly, I'm sure she was abused by somebody. This is what happens. You know, they get abused and then they act out.

1:39:13 Caller I know. She lost her virginity at 10.

1:39:18 Adam Yeah. That's called getting raped. It's not losing your virginity.

1:39:23 Caller I'm not sure if she was raped or not.

1:39:25 Adam Well, I'm just going to go ahead and call it rape anyway.

1:39:27 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce There's no such thing as consensual sex.

1:39:30 Caller Yeah, she probably was raped.

1:39:31 Adam Yeah, you gotta be 11, 11 1 2 before that kicks in.

1:39:34 Caller She's got a kid already and she's pregnant again.

1:39:40 Adam That's shocking. That never happens in this society. Right.

1:39:44 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce But what happened to you at that age, when you have sexual arousal that way at that age, it cross-circuits your thinking and your emotions.

1:39:53 Adam Yeah.

1:39:54 Caller That's why I called to find out.

1:39:56 Adam All right. But here's the thing, Zach. Don't walk around like you're damaged goods. You got to get some help. We've heard much, much worse. I'm not saying what she did to you was nothing. I'm saying to you, you can recover from this quite well. Oh yeah. This is not your stepdad holding you down and sodomizing you. You will get past this, but you have to work on it a little. I'm moving along because we're out of time and you've been on hold for so long. So here's the beat, Zach. You're not damaged goods. Your cousin who you're angry with, you should also have a certain amount of compassion for because she was a victim as well and probably victimized by somebody who was much older and not as gentle as she was with you. Then thirdly, get some help, get some therapy, do your work. All right. Thank you, Bruce. We'll be right back after this. Well, that's it, everybody. That's the show. Bruce.

1:41:41 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:41:42 Adam Nice work, buddy.

1:41:43 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Nice, Adam. I almost shut my mic five times.

1:41:45 Adam No, come on. I kid. I kid.

1:41:48 Caller He didn't want to pay you past the five lines.

1:41:50 Adam Yeah. You got to like nine tonight. Meichen, thank you very much.

1:41:55 Caller Thank you for having me.

1:41:56 Adam You're a delight, I must say. And everyone can watch ER on NBC 10 o'clock on Thursday nights, and check out Jake at Progress on ABC with our dear, dear friend John Stamos. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Bruce, saying mahalo.

1:42:16 Caller Adam Corolla is my hookah pipe.

1:42:19 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce This has been Loveline.

1:42:21 Dr. Bruce Loveline.

1:42:23 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station.

1:42:31 Adam The producer for Loveline is Aningold.

1:42:33 Mädchen Amick with Dr. Bruce Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Monday, March 7, 2005